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infinitydusktilldawn · 1 year

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Very little with so much [excerpt; to be changed] (minor swearing)

"I am right! You were wrong!"

She affectionally rolled her eyes, and hand out the thinnest file to Kim. "A particular chemical found at the site of our father's accident. It's not Cryo-gel, but it is similar." she sat down, reluctantly letting go of the file. The rest of the children also sat down around them.

Bryce was the first to speak up, "What's a guardian?"

Jacob thought back to the video that had been shared, in confidence by Kate the day before. ‘I'm tired of asking for help and being abandoned because of it.’ Even Kate refused to explain about that, which then he understood the damage Bryce had done by cornering her.

Shadow, lifted her leg onto the chair, allowing herself to prop her head up, as a sadness overwhelmed her. "Have to ask the hard questions first, don't you?"

This was a different person they realized, the caution to take a chance, but also the child-like naivety that does not match her age of 21, but of one much younger.

"Kate said that it's hard to say how long you've been awake for." Jacob began, "What did she mean by that?"

"The MDA, my home, is on a 48-hour cycle instead of 24."

"So everyday there, is two days here."

Shadow only nodded. "How long has it been for you, Kate? When I last saw you?"

Kate swallowed, "Seven years, give or take a few months."

Eyes widen, realizing what the true cause of the oldest sister's demeanor.

‘There was an event, where I butchered any trust with Shadow. It almost broke our relationship. For me it was almost 2 years ago where I gained it back, where she forgave me, but I have to remember, that time for her was practically a few months.’

Jacob remembered Kate explaining why she wouldn't reach out on her own or move past from what Shadow prefers. He thought that she just took trust seriously, that the moment someone loses it, it'll take years for that to be gained back. Now, that he starts to have some background on Shadow, how old is his youngest sibling. "How long has it been for you?"

Kate gave him a shallow nod.

He didn't realize he's been looking to her for guidance, turning back to Shadow, she's in her head. Thinking, probably, how much is a good idea to reveal.

‘I just wanted support; someone I could turn to that wasn't involved!’

"Three, three and a half years? Between all the differences it's hard to be concrete how much time had passed."

Rick released a breath, "How old were you? When it all started?"

"14." she stated after a beat.

"You're not 21, you're barely 17."

"Does that matter?"

"Yes!" Jacob shouted. "You are too young to be in a war, you're not even an adult!"

"What's done is done." Shadow sighed, not even bothering to observe the others. "Can't change anything, even if I tried."

Jacob's fists clenched at his side, trying to reign in the rage. "No, no. You have us, you won't be fighting anymore, we'll take over."

"Absolutely not."

"You're not an adult!"

Shadow stood instantly, matching Jacob's anger with her own. "And what constitutes as an adult!?" she seethed, tired of the entire ideology that she wasn't old enough to make drastic decisions. "Age doesn't equal experience! If it did Bryce would be the child and you would be the adult! If age would be the requirement to take into account on who stays as leader in my war, it would've ended before it even had the chance to start!"

"What's that…?" Dean whispered, eyeing a blanket of black hovering off her skin.

"Back off that ideology, if you know what's good for you." she sneered, voice dropping as something overlaid her own. "Bluebird."

Kate straightened with the others, "Shadow," she called, noticing the slight black tinge in her own sclera. "Shadow!"

Shadow whipped to her, "What Kate?"

"Breathe." then pointed to her own eye.

Shadow took a deep breath, and released it slowly, sitting down in the process. Dean watched, apprehensive, as the layer of darkness disappeared. "What was that?"

"Nothing." both sisters stated, ending that topic.

"You're correct, it's not cryo-gel. It's not in any database." Bryce called, ending the tense stand-off after the conflict between the siblings.

"Chief is calling in some contacts at the other locations that presented as similar accidents to check their archives for a similar chemical."

"Chief Pitren?" Kim asked, already pulling up information on the man. "Chief Alexander Pitren, 10 years in the police force, and had conducted several successful sting operations. What did he do that he's got your trust?"

"Covered me when the two assholes put a bounty on my head."

"A bounty? Why?"

"I was trying to escape them."

Rick sighed, the others looking confused. "It would be easier if you told us what this is all about."

"Even I'm still lost." Osiris's voice escaped from the computer, "I haven't found anything…anywhere."

"Shadow, come on, they'd help." Kate tried.

"Or just get in the way."

"Jacob is going with anyway, at least for a short time. He'd find out anyway."

"And it'll be his decision to even tell that story." Shadow shifted. "I said I'd consider telling them if they were who you thought they were."

"And I'm right, so tell them."

"Still considering."

"Why?" Bryce asked. "We have the resources to help."

"Who said I wanted help?" she shot back, "As Jacob so elegantly shouted, I'm nothing but a child. How can I trust you take my decisions seriously when you couldn't even trust my word on the status of your identity?

“I gave you opportunity after opportunity to ignore that I had any inkling of who you possibly could be. Secrets I take to my grave, of which you would have found out eventually if you'd just be patient instead of jumping the gun, because you are too fucking paranoid of not being in control of everything."

Her eyes kept to Bryce's, who she could tell did not like that little spiel. "I don't blame you in being cautious when we first met, I would've done the same. The difference between you and me? I always give the benefit of doubt, that little ideology of everyone is innocent until proven guilty is what I live by with first meetings. Jumping the gun, because you felt threatened that I'd spill some secret that had nothing to do with me, when it was so obvious, I had secrets as well, should've showed that there was a bigger picture than what could initially be seen."

Clapping sounded behind them, Talon standing at the table with a tray of drinks in hand. "I've heard rumors of a young Guardian whose goal is to protect and avenge while trying to remain inconspicuous and off everyone's radar. A get in and get out mentality with as little damage as possible. It is good to meet you."

"I feel like I'm missing something." she whispered in response.

"Antione McGurdy had been a wonderful friend, he had explained some things about the pride he had in the young Guardian before he'd been killed in combat. Although, I have yet to get an actual report on who or what had killed him."

"McGurdy?"

Kate slammed a hand on the table, "Gurdy Goo!" still catching her sister's confused look, "The older guy who explained the alliance with Rus--Project Bio Storm!"

"That does not narrow it down."

"The guy that pulled you aside when Goran and Raine tried to reinstate the treaty."

"Oh, fuck." Shadow crossed her arms putting her head down on them. "He ripped the two apart, lectured them about proper behavior while telling me how well I did in deflecting during that meeting." her shoulders shook, "The first adult I finally vented to, he's the one that took me to Chief."

"Miss Guardian?"

Shadow picked her head up, which felt like a ten-pound brick, tears slipped down her cheeks. "He had been a victim of Project Paradise Bravo." she sucked in a breath, "The people who explained Bio Storm to me were punished for revealing that to a "civilian" and were part of that event."

"Did he suffer?" the butler asked.

"I--I don't know." the screams of those beasts ricochet in her head, it's not something she can forget. "He--no one were themselves in the end."

"Is he at peace?"

"Everyone who deserves it, is at peace." she whispered, the fight and lecture from earlier drained her, but they weren't done.

"That's all I ask, Guardian of Light."

Shadow whipped to him, not many people know of that title, she smiled, giving him a nod.

"What's the Guardian of Light?" Bryce asked, more towards Talon than a mourning Shadow.

"Perhaps I should explain what I know, then Shadow can explain in more detail, if she chooses to."

"I'm alright with that."

Shadow nodded, "Fine, sure." pulling out her phone.

"The grand Guardian of Light is rumored to be a goddess." Talon began as if showcasing a production of a grand scale. "She is an interdimensional or intergalactic traveler that has the Space-Time Continuum flowing through her veins. A practitioner of magic, her primary job is to protect the balance. Her enemy is the Dark Guardian, who travels through space to find the ultimate power source. Antoine had explained that he is a madman, but while the Guardian of Light was chosen, the Dark Guardian is a bloodline title. He mentioned that there was something special about her, perhaps it was her force to do good. A particular warrior who protects her own, and is willing to what was it…"

"Kill the cause to save the effect." Jacob whispered.

‘You wouldn't understand that!’

Shadow glowered at Kate, who falsified whistling. There will be words later.

"Yes." Talon nodded, then began to pass out tea, a soft smile given between Shadow and Jacob. "It is because of that; many only see her as a part of the problem. That ability to bring back life if she chose to and take life just as easily. It is a legend, but just as we all know, legends have truth to them."

"So, there is a current war between both of these Guardians?" Bryce turned to look at Shadow, eyes narrowing. "Why hide this from the agency, or at all?"

Talon shook his head, "I believe it's because many who've become a part of the fight, are unaware of the true danger. Antoine had stated, "The war the Guardian leads in not for the faint of heart, those days are never-ending and long lasting. A single confrontation can be mere minutes before you realize it’s been months. It's not the war we've been through, it's a taxing of the spirit, and for that, I wouldn't wish that punishment on my worst enemy." The Guardian of Light has to draw a line between acting and ignoring, and not even the humblest of heroes can’t ignore a cry for help for the greater good."

"Why would anyone ignore a cry for help? How can a warrior of good ignore someone else?" Bryce asked, confused.

"It's a timeline thing, isn't it?" Kim looked to her.

Shadow tilted her head, "You have traveled through time and differential realities." a glow coming from her eyes.

Dean leapt back, "There's a darkness around you. What are you?"

She focused her attention back to him, the glow calming down, "Light refracts, and at the right angle can give an insight on what could be, and the dark helps stabilize the image from being too blinding. Giving details that can change what is seen, little details that can diverge the future from each individuals' actions and choices. Not many can see beyond that." she put the cup down, "You have been gifted the sight of both light and dark, the energy of non-connection, the pure basis of all magic. Due to this gift, you can see the aura that each person gives off, the more that can be seen the more danger they are."

Dean stared, as the glimmer grows and softens, the dark that normally would be center, surrounded her, as if giving him the attention to detail that she speaks off. It's not one color, but three. "Blue, pink, and purple?"

"Without the dark, you'd only be blinded." she easily releases some hold on the energy, "Your gift isn't full proof. Anyone else who is aware of the light and dark that they give off, can hide it." Then picked up the cup again, the energy she's aware of now being tapered off into the ultra-violet spectrum. Dean slowly sat back down. "Can--Can you help me? Understand these abilities."

"I don't know."

"You reveal that you know what abilities he has then just back off?!" Kim snapped, not the only one caught off guard by the change in attention. "Why provide hope for someone you're not going to support?!"

"Why would I help someone who could just become another victim?" she asked back.

Kim, and the others, seemed to settle, thinking about the question.

"They'd be killed in the war." Danielle stated, "If the enemy becomes aware of another, of similar or equal power, who won't join them or fight back, they'd be killed."

"Correct." she sighed, "My choosing of who gets involved is not just for shits and giggles, nor for dramatic effect. I've never once asked for someone to stay, they've stayed on their own, and I have never forced someone to abandon their life to serve me. The people who stay are those that are willing to put their entire existence on the line, to end this madman. The people I choose to not get involved with is because they are potential victims for just knowing me. He will kill them to get to me, and someone of Dean's abilities, just another higher priority target."

"So. you have to choose, if it's even worth it."

"Dean's abilities, are nothing compared to what he can do, not even close to what I can do. He isn't a threat, to either of us, but he can still be killed because it's too similar to a Guardian. People get killed for just knowing me."

"It's why no-one can get any information on her." Kate explained. "The Dark Guardian will no longer attack here, because he believes she has no more existence here. The best way to remain anonymously, is be known as no-one."

"Okay, but that still doesn't explain why you've been avoiding me." Dean stated.

"Magic, is complex, and each world out there has its own strand of how it works. Along with that, each one has its own flavor, some flavors work when mixed together and others don't. Your abilities are just different enough, that the Dark Guardian can taste the difference when there's another confrontation. He will come here, and he will kill you. Nothing can stop him."

"Except you, right?"

"According to prophecies, yes, currently no. I'm still not strong enough to even make dent against him. The only thing I can do is banish him temporarily."

"You said, I'm too close to being a Guardian, what does that mean?" "What is a Guardian?" Bryce tried again.

"Unofficially? A title, given to me in passing by those who truly know what's at stake. Officially, we don't know."

"Are you saying a Guardian is a species?" Osiris sounded flabbergasted. "How does that work?"

"From what we've been able to figure out…which isn't much, yes and no."

"I need to hear this."

"Guardians protect gods, those gods lead to the Grand Creator of the multi-verse. If one were to find the Grand Creator, and absorbed that pure energy, they world become the new creator, and essentially end every life in the current multi-verse for a fresh clean start."

Mouths dropped, and eyes widened at the implications.

"Your war is a literal fight to preserve life?" the choked gasp came from the speakers.

"Yes." she finally stated. "Sounds like a fantasy, doesn't it? Sounds like lies, like a want attention, like I seek out pity." she sighed again, trying to clear her throat. "All I want is to stop fighting, to relax and not figure out if the next person is gonna try to kill me or not. I'm tired, and there are days where I just want to give up, but I can't."

"Why, why you?" Jacob asked, giving in, pulling Shadow into his arms. He may have just met her, but he understood that willpower she's giving everything to keep fighting. He only tightened his arms around her when he felt her grip on his shirt.

"How can we help?" Bryce stood, wanting to go support her, to assure her. Shadow relaxed, "You can't."

"No, we will, just tell us what we need to do."

"You can't!" she pushed away from Jacob, slamming her hands onto the table.

‘I just wanted support from someone not involved!’

Jacob sighed, "Then we won't."

‘Shadow hates it when others get involved. The team she has, have dropped their personal lives for her, she won't ask that of you. We've agreed that she doesn't need support, she wants safety. Some place to be able to call home again. Except everyone she's tried to be for that, has either abandoned her, be a part of this fight, or used her when they've found the extent of who she is.’

#original work #long post #this is all concept still #like i have the basic plot in my head #but it's all the minor details #yes I've been writing the plot down #mental calculations put this in arc 3 or 4 #it's right before shadow (main character) eliminates contacts with her original home #kate (sister of mc) finds potential brother (bluebird) within secret agency #bluebird will become an empty character for fandoms to insert their h/c #along with a bill/conference/law that keeps the gov distracted for a mission #dialogue punctuation needs work #minor swearing #someone is gonna figure out the fandom characters borrowed #and deeply question what I was doing #feel free to ask questions #i do amateur art for this #concepts on alien plants and creatures #shadow is not her birth name #a lot of angst happened for her to gain that name #will be posting fictional lullaby and lecture #each one is missing a few things #particularly the lecture part #so much information in that #do not repost #please

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thesunisatangerine · 8 months

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against all odds (to wait for you is all i can do) – part two

alexia putellas x photojournalist!reader

warnings: implied sexual content

(a/n in the tags) [parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve]

word count: 2.5k

You weren’t sure what woke you at first but when you opened your eyes, you found the brilliant, early morning light that streamed through a crack in the curtains. Groaning, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes, not missing the unmistakable rustling of clothes somewhere at the foot of the bed.

Peeking over the sheets to the source of the sound, you found Ale working to put her pants back on, her bare back to you. You propped yourself against the headboard as you watched on, biting your lip at how Ale’s tattoos deliciously shifted over her rippling muscles. She picked something up from the floor before she turned towards the bed and you caught sight of the darkening marks on her neck and chest. When she saw you looking at her, she smiled, a little bashful, which you returned in kind.

“What time is it?” You cringed at how you croaked out the words.

“Early. You should go back to sleep.” Ale said, putting her bra on as she kept your gaze.

You hummed. “I could say the same for you.”

Ignoring what she said you sat up on the bed, allowing the sheets to slide down and settle by your waist as you stretched. Ale’s eyes wandered to your chest which, you supposed, bore the same marks you could see on hers, and you relished the attention. Once she found your eyes again, you sent her a knowing smirk before you left the bed, headed to the closet where you grabbed the nearest fresh shirt you had, and tossed it to Ale.

Without even looking at the shirt, she caught it with ease. You raised your brow, both in question and in wonder. In response, Ale just smiled innocently at you. Ale pulled the shirt over her head, hiding the marks from view, then she moved towards you, her eyes dark and shining with intent.

Your body remembered last night’s endeavours before you did: every nerve in your skin lit up in anticipation for Ale’s touch, a fuse waiting for a spark. She laced an arm around your waist and pulled you flush to her front with a strength that left you breathless, her clothed body firm against your bare flesh. Without your heels she almost towered over you that you had to stand on your toes to wrap your arms around her neck. You closed your eyes when you felt the words she spoke against your temple.

“As much as I’d love to stay, I have to go.”

You sighed, unable to hide your disappointment. But what did you expect? You knew what you were getting into last night–you knew this was meant to only be a one-time thing. Besides, you were never one for relationships anyway; all your dalliances were brief and fleeting, ending before they ever got serious. Still, something about Ale pulled you to her, a force that compelled a desire to get to know her. The logical part of you already accepted the fact that you’d probably never see her again after this, but a small part of you wanted to rebel and resist that fate.

Unsurprisingly, logic won out.

“I shouldn’t keep you, then,” you whispered against her collarbone. Ale shivered and that made you smile: it’s good to know you weren’t the only one still feeling the effects from the previous night.

“You’re not making this easy,” she whined and you laughed.

“Alright, alright. I guess it’s time for me to let you go.”

There was a moment of silence but not an uncomfortable one. You looked at her, soaked in how her features caught the morning light, how her fair hazel eyes almost appeared like twin golden suns. You were tempted to kiss her lips then but you settled for a chaste one on her cheek instead. “Keep the shirt, to remember me by and… a thank you for last night. It was wonderful.”

“I had a good time, too,” she hummed, a small smile on her lips.

You returned her smile, and then you gently pushed her away as you took a step back. “Go, Ale.”

Ale stood there for a moment more, took one last look at you, gave you one last smile and she was out of the bedroom. When you heard the front door shut, you sighed again as something akin to regret settled in your bones. Maybe you should’ve at least asked for her number…

“So… did you have fun?” A deep voice filtered through the speaker before you saw the familiar mop of blonde hair and blue eyes on your screen. You rolled your eyes at his dry tone but you smiled nonetheless.

“Oh hi, Derek, I’m doing fine! Thank you for asking!”

Derek gave you an unimpressed look. “Come on. I need details cause that club was exclusive for a reason. So, did you hook up with someone?”

“Dude, stop! That’s so–” you shook your head, a palm over your face. You swore if he wasn’t family you would’ve… you breathed through your nose. “Thank you for the pass and everything but I’m not obligated to tell you shit.”

“Fine, I see how it is. Just ‘cause I’m not there you’re keeping secrets from me now, huh?” He raised an exaggerated eyebrow.

“Then maybe you should’ve come here with me,” you retorted with faux annoyance. “What’s the point of you owning a house in Barcelona if you’re not going to use it? It’s literally rotting here! The fact that you haven’t even put any personal things in here is criminal!”

“And let this agency burn down to the ground while both of us are away? Pfft, yeah, right!” Derek scoffed. “You know it’s either you or me who can keep watch around here. Besides, the house can wait and you’re using it now, right? So, a win-win in my book.”

He was right but you weren’t about to tell him that so you opted to change the topic. “How are things on your end anyway?”

“Chaotic, as usual. And it doesn’t help we’re now down two–actually, three including you–of our best in the Spot News department.”

At that, you sat up from the couch, alarm and dread filled your body and you brought the phone closer to you. “Oh my god, did something happen?”

Derek sighed heavily, his demeanour clouded over as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “It was Jones and Gilda–they’re stable, don’t worry!–they got caught in a flash flood on the way to the base at their area. Sick with some minor injuries, Jones more so than Gilda, but thankfully they’re both okay.”

At that, you breathed out in relief. You were well acquainted with the dangers that came with your job but you could never get used to how quickly a situation could get from bad to worse. The mere thought was enough to turn your hands cold.

“When did this happen?”

“Early morning today in our timezone.”

“Oh, fuck. Derek, why didn’t you call me?!”

“Dude, you’re on leave. And it’s not that I didn’t want to let you know, I just wasn’t about to wake you up in the middle of the night to give you this headache. I’m just about done with the paperworks anyway.” A moment silence, then Derek sighed. “You really chose the worst time to go on leave. You know, I had to send Jersey to start covering Spot.”

“Not my fault you authorised it. I was happy to wait another month, remember? Wait, so if Jersey is doing Spot, who’s doing Sports?”

“I know, I know, don’t remind me ‘cause I’m already regretting it. And no one’s doing it. Spot coverage is more important but–”

“–we get a decent sum from Sports, too,” you finished for him. You did some quick estimation in your head: a month or two without Sports could prove costly, too great of a sum to let go. You hummed, rubbing your chin, but it didn’t take you long to realise that you could help out, your mind immediately fleeted to your conversation with Ale and her suggestion.

“I’ll cover it, Derek.”

“No. You’re supposed to be enjoying your leave–”

“Derek.” You fixed a stern gaze at him, the one you knew that he knew meant your mind was made up. Then you proceeded to reassure him that it was fine, and then you told him about your plan. “Alright, then, I’ll leave the press passes to you.”

“I’ll e-mail them to you once I get ‘em, most likely by tonight your time. I–”

“Derek, you got to see–” Another voice filtered through the speaker while you watched as Derek turned his head to the side and held his hand up to whoever it was before returning his focus back to you.

“Okay, as much as I’d love to keep talking to you, Robert just brought me a huge stack of paper so I’m going to bail.”

“Alright. Have fun, you. Talk to you later.”

“Ha ha, very funny. But seriously, thank you.”

“No worries. Kiss Mom for me when you see her.”

“I will. Love you, sis.”

“I love you, too.”

After calling Jones and Gilda to ask about their condition and to send them your well wishes, you decided to spend the rest of your day at the nearby square and the beach. A day as good as this wasn’t meant to be wasted by staying inside so you grabbed several rolls of film and your beloved Leica camera before heading out.

It was already late afternoon when you found yourself trudging along the shoreline of one of Barcelona’s beaches, appreciating the orange-tinged skies and how the gulls called from above. When you looked to the horizon, you found a mother and her little daughter paddle-boarding just a hundred meters from the shore. You could see almost no details in the shadows of their silhouette but the large setting sun framed them in such a way that you felt to take a shot of the moment. So you adjusted your aperture accordingly, pressed the viewfinder against your brow, lined up your shot, and pressed the shutter.

“I thought you looked familiar… And I was right.”

Your thumb froze over the advance lever when you heard someone speak from somewhere behind you. That voice… could it be?

You whipped your head over your shoulder and found none other than Ale standing there. She was wearing a pair of jean shorts, a white opened blouse that put her toned abs and Nike sports bra on display, loose hair slightly damp, with a leash in one hand that lead to a small, fluffy dog. She also had on a pair of black wraparound sunglasses that she moved to the top of her head, revealing her hazel eyes that captivated your gaze immediately.

You could hardly believe your eyes and your luck; you already accepted her fleeting presence in your life but to meet her again in a city as big as Barcelona without any means of contact… that surely was nothing short of a miracle.

“Ale, hi! I–I never thought I’d see you again,” you said after you finally found your voice but as soon as the words left your mouth, your cheeks warmed. What were you supposed to say to a one night stand in this situation, especially when you clearly wanted it to happen again?

“Me neither. I should thank Nala for dragging me out here.” Ale grinned as she glanced down at her dog by her feet. You crooned as you bent down, then you offered your hand first and only after Nala licked your knuckles did you proceed to pet her.

“Thank you, Nala, for taking your owner for a walk.” At that, a hearty laugh came from Ale which caused Nala, who seemed to be overjoyed by the sound of her owner’s delight, to yip and wag her tail. And just as quickly as she had, she seemed to get bored and began to bound forward, urging Ale to move as well so you stood up, brushed the sand from your palms, and fell in step with her.

For a moment, the space between you was filled by the sound of the waves, the sound of the shifting sand beneath your feet, and the ever-bustling noise from the city. Then you recalled your conversation with Derek this morning.

“I thought about what you said, about covering women’s football. I’m going to be given a press pass for a match, not sure which one they’ll give me, though. But do you know of any big matches coming up?”

“Really? That’s great! Do you have any particular team in mind or…?”

“Research is still on my to-do list so no, not really. I’m all ears for suggestions, though.”

“I see. Well, there is this match coming up: Real Madrid and Barcelona. Since you don’t know, there’s rivalry between the two teams so any match between them tends to get crowded. You should come watch.”

“That sounds like a good one. I hope that’s what they’ll get me into. Will you be there?”

“I hope so, too. And yes, I’ll be there.” As she said this, her eyes shone with a glint not dissimilar to what you saw in them the night you met. Her lips tilted to the side, closed but quirked at the corners like she was holding in a laugh. If it weren’t already clear that night, it was now–you were definitely missing something here.

“What?” You asked, confused. What was she not telling you? But at the question, Ale only let out a small giggle, grinning as she did so.

“Nothing, nothing,” she said, shaking her head. You didn’t believe her but you let it slide one more time and the fact that she looked so distracting didn’t help either.

She had her head turned to you, her loose hair framed her face and strands fluttered in the cool, ocean breeze. You had to tilt your head up slightly to meet her eyes and, without any bidding, memories from that night and the morning after filtered through your mind: the way she held you against her, the way you wanted her to stay… maybe you should ask her if she was free tonight.

“–what do you have in mind?”

You blinked. “What?”

Ale threw her head back, letting out another hearty laugh before she looked at you and you saw amusement swimming in her eyes. Then, she continued with a smirk, “you asked if I was free tonight. I said yes. Or… was I not meant to hear that?”

Your ears and cheeks burnt while you internally cursed your slippery tongue. That was smooth. Real smooth. “Ummm…”

You woke the next morning with a delicious soreness between your thighs, a pleasant reminder of the way Ale ravished you last night. Similar to the first morning after, you heard the rustling of clothes being put on. But before you could fully open your eyes, warmth from Ale’s lips branded the skin on your shoulder.

“I have to go. See you next time?” Ale murmured softly. You shifted slightly to the side and you saw how the sunlight behind her gilded her hair with an amber halo and made her eyes appear like molten gold.

Brushing a loose strand behind her ear, you hummed in confirmation and pressed your forehead sleepily against the sharp line of her jaw, closing your eyes as you did so and you whispered, “you know where to find me.”

#ap11 #not proofread #mine #my writing #a/n: introduced some fictional characters here for plot purposes and there'll be more later on (i hope that wont put off some people)#i tried not to info-dump but not really sure if i succeeded lol #also i find it difficult to write smut and its even harder without talking about feelings so nothing yet folks im so sorry #and idk when the next part will come out cause its one of the parts that arent fleshed out but ill try to finish it by next week #just a reminder: im tweaking minor details as i go so the most accurate copy of all the parts will be on my ao3 (@thesunisatangerine)#apologies for any grammar and spelling mistakes ill work on em later #woso x reader #alexia putellas x reader

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nowwheresmynut · 1 year

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its been a long long night for them

my contribution to the jayvik zine "Our Hextech Dream"

#jayce talis #viktor arcane #jayvik #arcane #ive had this finished for 84 years i dont even remember all the minor details i added anymore #i hope you have some mild fun looking at them #arcane by me #artwork #im glad i added the ladder though #sorry step-ladder #theyre beyond drunk and going straight into hangover mode any time now

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babyloniastreasure · 6 months

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something that kind of bothers me about modern feelings toward the epic of gilgamesh is how it's been COMPLETELY watered down to being "gay". Bear with me as I explain.

this is more of an extreme example, but I see this take all the time (not the yaoi part. the gay lover part). it's boiled down to the fact that it's gay over literally anything else in the epic. Gilgamesh's lament to Urshanabi about Enkidu's loss is overshadowed by the fact that Gilgamesh is mourning his gay lover. Gilgamesh is on a journey because he lost his gay lover. Gilgamesh and Enkidu were gay.

Now I understand that with a modern lens, people tend to lock on to how unabashedly Gilgamesh mourns Enkidu, because it's gay and because it's the oldest written epic in human history. People feel deeply connected to the idea that people like them have been around since the dawn of literature. But placing exclusive focus on the nature of the relationship as gay, rather than why the relationship or its loss was important, erases the story the epic is trying to tell.

The Epic of Gilgamesh is a story about love, yes, but it is not a love story. It's about the fear of death, coping with loss, and desperation to stave off the inevitable. It's about the bonds of friendship, about hardship, coming to terms personal change and losing pieces of yourself as you learn and grow. It is about consequences, arrogance, death, second chances, mourning, yearning, loving and LIVING. The Epic of Gilgamesh is about the entire human experience and one man's struggle to accept it. What does it mean to have lived? What does it mean to have loved, and lost? What does it mean to die, and to be remembered? What does it mean to be human?

It is perfectly okay to find appreciation for the Epic because of Gilgamesh and Enkidu's relationship. But also understand that the world's oldest story is not about two gay men who loved each other. It is a story about being alive.

TLDR;

#the epic of gilgamesh #mesopotamia #sumerian #once again recommending that everyone read the epic of gilgamesh at least once because it really is a great story #gilgamesh and enkidu's relationship is first of all--a minor detail at best. homosexuality was normal in sumerian society #so it wouldn't have been unusual. in fact placing such intense focus on it is what's unusual #also they weren't even homosexual. they both also sleep with women. but the erasure of bisexuality is a completely different hornet's nest #i could also probably write a post about how watered down the whole ea-nasir thing is too #but hes so much of a meme i might as well try to convince a brick wall to get up and walk for all the good it'd do #anyway. im pretentious about this topic because i love it so fucking dearly. please recognize what it is youre appreciating

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yesterdayiwrote · 18 days

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So... quick update on the Eurovision situation

The EBU decided that Israel can compete despite their country being under an active Genocide investigation by the ICJ. Their delegation have gone on to antagonise other contestants by filming them for their social media without permission and refusing to remove it when asked, harass journalists who have questioned if their inclusion is appropriate, and their commentators have made horrendous comments about the Irish contestant... all without sanction.

Meanwhile the Dutch contestant got into an undisclosed 'incident' with a female member of the production crew and they've referred it to the police and flat out disqualified him from the contest with less than 12 hours notice...

Which seems like a tremendous act of double standards at an event that is already marred by serious controversy. Obviously the second is not acceptable, but very difficult to understand how the first somehow... is?

#eurovision #eurovision 2024 #I have had very mixed feelings with regard to the boycott for a very long time #And whilst I understand the sentiment #I'm still not sure it's the right course of action in terms of how the competition works and who profits from it #And I'm not saying his disqualification is unwarranted (it's impossible to gauge without the full incident details)#More that the other disqualification that they refuse to make is MORE warranted #I feel most sorry for the contestants amongst all of this #Most of whom are there because the global platform is absolutely unmatched in them being able to share their own personal story #And a lot of them come from a variety of queer and minority groups who do not get the chance at a global stage like this... ever #The issue is the EBU and their cowardice to handle this situation effectively #And that's because they've allowed their hands to be tied by their sponsor #It feels tragically obvious what's going to happen tonight #And it's not going to achieve the message I think a lot of people are idealistically thinking it will #It's going to serve as a signal of approval for them to use as ammunition for further attacks and be counter productive imho

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5qui99l3draws · 4 months

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*does the 3D equivalent of doodling a big sparkly eye in the margins of your class notes*

#3D #I've never done anything at this level of detail before and just wanted to see if I could #and then gave up at the prospect of sculpting individual eyelashes lmao #but yeah it turns out this isn't even all that hard #I drew the structure of the iris in procreate beforehand to use as an alpha (basically like a stamp in clay)#and the rest was just painting and some very minor sculpting #it was fun!#I want to say maybe next time I'll do an actual sparkly anime eyeball #but from what I've seen anime style 3D art keeps the features very simple and flat #so I'd just literally be drawing it anyway and there's nothing exciting to me about that #anyway! get beheld 👁️

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difeisheng · 6 months

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fanghua and sharing a bed

one detail i noticed earlier in my rewatch is that li lianhua, when he's sleeping/living by himself, keeps a small chest with a plant or two on his bed. it's in the corner by his feet and against the wall, and it's a convenient bedside table, given that the bed is quite large for one person and he doesn't need that entire square area. you can see that he sleeps with this setup perfectly fine when he wakes up from his nap in episode 1, and the chest is still there later as late as episode 12, when fang duobing and di feisheng are sharing the room upstairs (featuring di feisheng here sitting on the bed because apparently that's his travel spot when lianhualou is moving):

however, when fang duobing wakes up in li lianhua's bed in episode 13, that chest is no longer present.

and okay, sure, i can understand this. fang duobing is there because he collapsed from the gang qi and li lianhua had to carry him back to lianhualou. he probably didn't want his things knocked over, and fang duobing is sprawled out quite a bit when he's laying there.

when he wakes up again in li lianhua's bed in episode 15 though, unlike before, fang duobing hadn't passed out during the previous scene. i don't think it happened offscreen, either, given that he isn't groggy when he wakes up here like he was after fainting. the sheets are also pushed off of him/aside like someone else moved them before fang duobing got up, which doesn't look like what happens when he's unconscious. compare from episode 13, then episode 15:

in addition, it's the next morning in this current scene, as opposed to just later in the same day back in episode 13, which means that li lianhua had to sleep somewhere. it's possible he might have just taken the guest room, but if fang duobing wasn't knocked out, then he could have just forced him to move. he didn't bother doing that.

what's important to also note, though, is that the chest has not been placed back by its former corner of the bed.

since we're past there being an emergency situation, and li lianhua likes his lifestyle habits, there's little reason he wouldn't have returned his own bed back to its usual configuration... unless he actually needed the space on the normally unoccupied side. combining all that with the shoved-off state of the sheets when fang duobing wakes up, and it's not implausible to say that perhaps li lianhua was beside him in that bed the night before, then got up earlier the next day.

fanghua very possibly shared a bed in canon, at least for one night. love and light across the jianghu <3

UPDATE: as of episode 19, the next time we really see the inside of lianhualou given that episodes 17-18 followed qiao wanmian's wedding, the chest has been returned to its former position. it was only moved after fang duobing was gone and li lianhua was living by himself again for a stretch of time.

#am i aware im overanalyzing minor set details here? yes #do i care? absolutely not #listen i realize you can just say Hey yeah they shared a bed based on the fact that fdb is there at all but #it's about having a solid textual argument ok #congrats to fdb for canonically sharing a bed with two hot older men on different occasions #fanghua #li xiangyi #fang duobing #ashton originals #liveblogging #mysterious lotus casebook #mlc meta

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illuminatedferret · 6 months

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ascensions lian

one of my favorite things about rereading tgcf is finding little bits of info where MXTX showcases how crazy strong xie lian is. like in the PROLOGUE we learn that if people trying to ascend fail their Heavenly Tribulations they either die or are (socially? physically?) ruined. like, nevermind the rigors of cultivating to ascension, the act of ascension itself is lethally dangerous.

and XIE LIAN

this motherfucker ascended for the first time IN HIS SLEEP. the second time he was so busy pummeling bai wuxiang that he didn't even notice it!!! what the hell!!! what the hell is this guy on and how do i get some

#tgcf #xie lian #tian guan ci fu #heaven officials blessing #tgcf meta #illuspeaks #heaven official's blessing #like seriously its such a minor detail and yet its SO telling #it occurred to me writing this that the cursed shackles protections #may extend to ascensions. which is kind of fucked up #in a cheaty sort of way #but its also probably not relevant. this is all xie lian baby #if youre still reading this go read ascension woes by ijoke on ao3 #the title is an unintentional theft from there

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ifindus · 8 months

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1660 - Cavalryman - Several wars under Denmark against Sweden.

1697 - Gunner - pre-Great Nordic War under Denmark against Sweden.

1774 - Skiing Soldier - pre-Theater War under Denmark against Sweden.

1785 - Infantryman - pre-Great Northern War under Denmark against Sweden.

1808 - Coast Guard Officer - Napoleonic Wars under Denmark.

1845 - Infantryman - pre-First Schleswig War under Sweden against Germany.

1855 - Infantryman - during the Crimean War (Sweden-Norway debated joining the UK and France against Russia).

1905 - Hunter - preparing for wars of independence against Sweden.

1914 - Engineer Officer - First World War.

1940 - Infantry Officer - Second World War.

#historical hetalia #hetalia #aph norway #hws norway #damn this took a long time #if you haven't heard much from me the last three days it's because I was studying and doing this #had this idea ages ago but never did it because: very time-consuming :P #but now I did it!!#SNL (store norske leksikon) has this great illustration of all these uniforms and it is inspiring every time I look at it #and then norgeshistorie.no posted a new article about militarization in Norway during the union with Denmark and I had to do the project #we all know how much I like drawing uniforms and historical clothing 😔😔😔#even bought a book about historical clothing this spring - for references #but it's a bit confusing so might get another one if I see a good one #I do love the historical asks I get because then I get to nerd out about all the cool history I know 👀#I have mentioned before but; Norway was perhaps /the/ most militarized country in Europe during the 1600s #there are a lot of stories from towns and villages nearby about the results of this #anyway; hope everyone enjoys Norway in uniforms!! 😁#I am sure some minor details will be inaccurate but I tried

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allthewhumpygoodness · 1 year

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Sick characters being so exhausted they can't even arrange themselves into a normal sleeping position when they get into bed. They just flop down in whatever sprawled way they happen to fall, dragging the blankets over them as best they can.

#sickfic whump #such a minor little detail but i'm Obsessed #like they just sprawl out with limbs all over the place in what doesn't look at all like a comfortable position #but they're too tired to move

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minevn · 6 months

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Here is Minato's new reference! He's gotten quite the update! And the blank ref sheet is below for your lovely ocs!

I kept his hair style the same, but wanted to add a bit more to it. His little hair vent is always that blue. For the ends of his hair I used the same blue color and put it to multiply and then lowered the opacity to 42%. I thought it could use a bit of color. I made his eyes more neutral rather then giving him siren or doe eyes, and his eyes are the same yellow. I added more accessories, gifts from his grandparents! Hair clips to keep his hair out of his face when fishing, a diy shell necklace, a pearl bracelet and then another bracelet with pearls, wood beads, a turtle charm, and a dog tag. He also has an aquamarine ring. In almost all of his outfits his grandma has added embroidery or helped patch up any ripped outfits. He usually tucks his shirts in, grandpa style. He now has two scars instead of one. One on his jaw to cheek and one on his forehead. He looks more approachable and acts more approachable too! His personality got the biggest change.

He still looks intimidating at first glance due to his stature, but he's often seen with a smile and helping others out! He's known for being reliable. I always wanted him to have guard dog vibes, and he sort of was, but without the dog, so I added a more dog vibe to him. He's just a silly man. He is still the least yandere, I'd say he's not even yandere anymore, he's like bordering on that line though. Tbf I'm not sure he was ever really yandere, but now I'm more sure he's not. Just a clingy, protective boyfriend malewife babygirl. He still has trauma of course, but he's doing better, he's not alone, he has his grandparents and now he has you, although that doesn't stop the memories from resurfacing.

Here's more info!

Height: 6'5 or 195.6cm

Birthday: 8/16

Likes: Fishing, the ocean(Everything about it), dogs, helping others, his grandparents, you

Dislikes: His loved ones being in danger, feeling useless, confrontation, alcohol, his scars, his father, hospitals, the smell of sick people

Family: Mother(deceased), Father(arrested), Maternal Grandfather, Maternal Grandmother, Dog(A corgi named after his mother, Shizuki)

Signature Color: Blue (Like the ocean. Blue also compliments his eye color so he wears it a lot)

#💝-minevn #visual novel #yandere vn #🎤-asks #🐠-Minato #I like the style a lot more and had a lot more fun with this ref #there still might be minor art style changes in the future #mainly with coloring and shading #but for now I'm really happy with it!#and Minato's redesign #I hope you all like him too!#This design is more up my alley #more detail

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braisedhoney · 8 months

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i’ve made it my personal mission whenever i reblog something to be as annoyingly long-winded about whatever i loved about it as possible, on the basis that… i like it when people do that. and also i am physically incapable of shutting up once i get on a tangent and i like art details. whoops.

#ney’s idle chatter (random textposts)#er… apologies to all the people who get like a full paragraph in their tags #or maybe not? i love it when people do that but hey to each their own #reblogs are the lifeblood of this platform and long tags are my favorite thing in the world #yes i’ll go ridiculously in depth about the most minor details of your art it is a day that ends in y after all

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thesunisatangerine · 7 months

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against all odds (to wait for you is all i can do) – part five

alexia putellas x photojournalist!reader

warnings: explicit sexual content, angst (i'm sorry)

(a/n in the tags) [parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve]

word count: 3.2k

Today’s the day you were going to talk to Alexia about it.

You had about two weeks left of your additional three weeks and with each passing day, your stay in Barcelona was drawing to a close and Alexia knew it, too. During the period of time you’d gotten to know her to now, Alexia’d put in the same effort in trying to get to know what you did outside of sports photojournalism. You’d told her, of course, and even showed her photos of your previous photojournalistic coverage, although you’d kept the more graphic ones away from her.

Despite the fact that she had jokingly tried to convince you to stay in sports photojournalism, Alexia had been nothing but supportive of your job. The thing was, she just didn’t know yet what it was you’d be returning to: you just got word that you–among other colleagues–were bound to head over to a conflict zone in a region going through civil unrest and military aggression. But it wasn’t like the thought never crossed your mind.

Sports photography had been a welcome reprieve from the violence and depravity that came with human conflict, a typical scene to witness while on the field. And although unplanned, Alexia had played a part in your enjoyment with this side-project–so much so that it was on top of your list for alternative careers down the line. Be that as it may, you knew deep down that you wouldn’t trade your current career for anything else.

This was what you wanted to talk to Alexia about. Well… among other things but you wanted to ease her into the conversation with a home-cooked meal and a gift. Even though it was difficult to do with Alexia around, you were able to finish making the latter a few days ago. The gift was something similar to the one she gave you: a bracelet with the colors of the flag of your country and instead of a diamond, you used a small, silver, hollow rectangular charm to represent you and your camera. And with that dealt with, you only needed to grab the ingredients for the former which brought you out to Mercat del Centre on this fine Barcelona highnoon.

With paper bags of groceries in hand, you were thinking of grabbing something from that sushi place you’d passed on the way to the market but just as you turned the corner, you saw three women walking ahead a few paces away with their backs turned to you.

They were all wearing matching tank shirts, shorts, and ankle socks but the one with the cap stood out to you and instantly, you recognised it to be Alexia. Knowing that and from the Barcelona matches that you’d been to, you recognised that it was Mapi and Patri flanking her.

Excitement filled you immediately although you wondered for a second what they were doing there until you realised that Estadi Johan Cruyff was only a few blocks away. The instinct to call out Alexia’s name and reach out for her didn’t go unnoticed by you but you managed to stop yourself in time before you accidentally did.

The both of you never really talked about where the both of you stood and there was no clear label for the nature of your relationship. If someone had asked you this when you just met her over two months ago, the answer would’ve been clear; it was merely physical with a dose of infatuation. Now, it was more than just sex to you: you wanted her in every possible way, you wanted to know and to be known by her, you wanted to be the person she’d tell about the most mundane of things to–to be the person she’d allow to fall for her because you already know you were on the brink of falling. So apart from your job situation, this question was the other half of the conversation you wanted to have with her.

Though you meant to go to the same direction, you didn’t want to risk Alexia noticing you not because you didn’t want her to or that you were afraid she’d ignore you–no, you just didn’t want to accidentally interrupt her time with her teammates. She’d come to you later anyway so you’d just tell her about this then. You were just about to turn around when something in their conversation got your attention.

“So, Ale, are you dating that photographer?” Patri asked, her question oozed of mischief.

“What photographer?” Alexia replied with a flat tone.

Mapi snickered. “You’re too smart to play dumb and when you do it on purpose you just sound stupid.”

For that, she got a punch to the shoulder from Alexia but Mapi only giggled.

“Fine, fine. And, no, I’m not.”

“Oh, come on, Ale! If she’s not, then why does she always take the best photos of you? Right, Patri?” Mapi whined.

“Exactly! Oh, remember those matches when you weren’t even on the pitch? And the way she always looks at you after a match? I’d say that’s something!” Then as if she just had an epiphany, Patri’s eyes widened, hand clapping over her opened mouth. “Wait! Unless…”

Patri didn’t even need to finish her sentence, her suggestive tone was enough to communicate what she meant by it and your ears burnt at the implication.

“Oh, shit. Are you, you know?” Mapi exclaimed, finally catching on, eyes just as wide as Patri’s.

“Keep your voices down, assholes,” Alexia growled in annoyance then she grumbled something you couldn’t quite hear. In response, the other two women just laughed.

“Love you, too, Cap,” Mapi said in a saccharine tone.

Alexia sighed. “Okay. Yes. Are you happy now?”

The other two women hooted and patted Alexia on the back.

“Ha! I knew it!” Patri exclaimed.

“Do you like her though?” Mapi’s question stilled your breath as you anticipated Alexia’s answer.

“No,” Alexia shook her head and she shrugged. “She means nothing to me.”

“Ouch! Not even considering dating?”

“I can’t deal with that right now.”

“Damn… So does that mean she’s one of your girls, then? And here I thought you finally stopped.”

“I’m not even going to answer that.”

You didn’t hear anything after that. Alexia’s words rooted you to the spot and you watched as the three of them walked on.

She means nothing to me. She’s one of your girls. She means nothing to me. She’s…

Those same words echoed in your mind in a ruthless cycle but what stuck to you the most was the way Alexia said them. You’d never heard her that cold… that detached. Your hands shook, a chill ran up your spine and you shivered while the world blurred in front of you.

You brought a hand to your eyes and felt warm tears on your fingers.

Oh.

And without even asking you got the answer to your question.

––––––

The moment Alexia stepped foot into the house that night, you grabbed her by the lapels of her jacket and pulled her down for a searing kiss. She gasped in surprise as you pushed her against the door and you took that opportunity to deepen the kiss, your fingers now tangled in her hair while your front was pressed firmly against her.

It wasn’t enough.

You bit and tugged her lower lip before you nipped a path along her jaw down to the base of her throat where you sucked at her pulse point. Her muscles responded and rippled beneath your palms when you traced their lines along her sides and stomach under her shirt while Alexia gasped and moaned from your touch.

It wasn’t enough.

By the time the both of you reached the bed, you’d stripped Alexia off her clothes. She landed on her back on the bed when you pushed her, gasping as she did so, and you immediately crawled on top of her. Wasting no time, you sucked and marked the expanse of skin in front of you: her neck, her chest, her breasts, her stomach. You nipped and bit as Alexia writhed and keened beneath you.

It wasn’t enough.

When you felt her large hands along your sides trying to tug the hem of your shirt to strip it off you, you grabbed her wrists and pinned them on either side of her head–a rejection to her offer, one that you never thought you’d do around Alexia. But just the thought of being completely naked made you shudder, and not in a good way. So you pressed a bare leg against her core to distract her to which Alexia keenly responded to by arching against you while her wetness burnt like a brand against your skin there.

It wasn’t enough.

When Alexia cried out your name while your fingers worked deep in her core, neck straining and muscles tensing, the pit in your chest only seemed to yawn wider and dug deeper.

It wasn’t enough.

When Alexia clung to you as she dozed off with her soft breath caressing your clothed stomach, tears burnt in the corners of your eyes as you watched her glow in her slumber, so peaceful and beautiful. Emotions bubbled in the base of your throat, a string of words coiled themselves tighter around your tongue, but something else burnt in your throat that you found difficult to swallow.

In your desperation to get closer–to make Alexia forget about whoever else that she was sleeping with–you’d used sex as a tool for possession not for intimacy, and the streak of shame that that knowledge left behind pained you more than you could ever thought it could. You weren’t like this. This wasn’t a person you wanted to become, especially when it came with Alexia.

But… you wanted more.

You wanted so much more.

But wasn’t this what you already convinced yourself of? Deep down, you knew all too well that this was too good to be true–too good of a love to be yours.

You brushed away a lock of blonde hair from Alexia’s temple, admiring the strong slope of her nose, the fierce slant of her eyebrows, the gentle curves of her eyelids, the elegant bow of her lips. You soaked as much of her as you could because this would be the last time you’d be able to see her like this.

It was a blur, the journey back from the marketplace to the house earlier today, and your mind was a cacophony of words but a single thought was in clarity: you needed to leave. So the moment you got back, you did two things: you emailed Derek and booked your flight home.

There were no details included in the email you sent to your brother as to why you were coming back early–it was extremely unprofessional but an apology was the only thing you could come up with. You’d never not seen a project through to the end no matter the circumstance but this was different; you felt as though you were more equipped to navigate mortal peril than this dance with Alexia so leaving was the only option.

Tomorrow at midnight, you’d be gone, two weeks ahead of schedule. You didn’t know if Alexia would get here tomorrow before you depart but that was a question for then. For now, you would allow yourself to savour this moment when Alexia was still right here beside you for the final time.

You brought one of her hand to your lips and pressed a light kiss against her knuckles.

A line from a poem fleeted through your mind.

these, our bodies, possessed by light

––––––

Everything was already packed by the time early evening came and even though the caretaker was scheduled to come early tomorrow, you made a point to check around for anything important you might have forgotten and to ensure you’d sufficiently tidied up after yourself. Finally satisfied, you went downstairs and just after you ordered an Uber to take you to the airport, a knock came to the door and the door handle turned.

Shit.

“Hey, the door’s unlocked! Look, I didn’t know what you wanted to eat since you didn’t text me back so I just grabbed us some–”

Alexia’s voice floated into the room and as she passed through the doorway with her bag of takeaways in one hand, she stopped in her tracks as she saw you and your luggage. Then her face turned cloudy, concern and a question in her eyes.

Her hair was still damp, cheeks still flushed from training, and you longed to reach out to tuck that loose hair behind her ear but instead, you clenched your fists at your sides as you watched her mouth open a few times before she seemed to finally settle on what to say.

“Is… everything alright?” She regarded your luggage for a moment longer before she met your eyes again.

“Yes.”

It was only one word but your voice trembled nonetheless, and you hated that it did. Alexia’d must have heard something in your tone because her brows furrowed even further as understanding began to seep in.

“You’re–” Alexia’s throat bobbed, “you’re leaving now?”

“Yes.”

As each second passed, you could see the way Alexia’s walls began to climb.

“You said it’s not until after two weeks–”

“I lied.”

At that, the remaining warmth in her eyes flitted away and left her hazel eyes flat and cold. Then she scoffed, hurt clear in her voice when she asked, “were you even planning to say goodbye?”

A heavy silence settled in the air; an answer in and of itself. You could feel the distance between the both of you widen as the moment stretched on, the air so thick from tension it hurt to even breathe. Then a notification from your phone disrupted the quiet and it gave you an excuse to divert your eyes from Alexia’s.

Your Uber just arrived. You sent the driver a quick message to wait, that you’d pay them for the time, before you faced the music again. Clearing your throat, you moved to get the paper bag addressed to ‘Ale’ from the counter–the one you originally planned to leave by the door once you’d left–then you stood just out of arm’s reach from Alexia and offered her the bag.

“Before I forget, here.”

Alexia’s eyes bore into yours before she eventually dragged them down to the bag in your hand. She placed the takeaways beside her feet before she grabbed the bag in your hand, her fingertips brushed against the skin of your knuckles and you fought the urge to flinch away.

You watched as she peered inside and you bit your lip as you hoped she wouldn’t see the pictures and the letters you wrote; it was bad enough she got here before you left to begin with, how much worse could this get if she saw them in front of you. Oh, how you wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Once she stuck her hand inside to grab something, you held your breath. Then you saw the way her jaws worked at what she found inside. She lifted it enough for you to catch a glimpse of it over the edge of the bag: blue and scarlet, her Barcelona jersey.

Alexia sucked in a breath, ragged, before she breathed out with a trembling voice. “Oh.”

“I did promise I was going to return it.”

She looked up at you, her eyes now glazed over and you were sure with the way your eyes burnt that yours were just as red.

“Why?”

There were so many ways you could answer her question, the words because I could fall in love with you were poised at the tip of your tongue but you bit it off before they could slip out and leave you more vulnerable than you already were.

“Because… it was fun while it lasted. No strings attached, right?” The words sounded so cruel to you and immediately, you wanted to take them back. To reduce those moments with her and the memories that were now permanently a part of you to a passing fling felt abysmally wrong. You wanted nothing more than to step into her embrace, to tell her how much she’d come to mean to you, to tell her that you could fall for her if she’d just let you… but you never really had a chance did you? You knew that now and you couldn’t keep pretending you didn’t want more.

Alexia’s jaw worked again as her chin quivered, her tongue skimmed over the corner of her lips, a habit you noticed she did when she was upset–whenever she wanted to stop herself from crying.

“Is this it, then?” She whispered the question and at that, a tear fell down your cheek.

“I guess it is.”

And in the silence that followed, as if guided by an invisible force, your hand began to reach out for Alexia but your presence of mind came back to you and you quickly retracted it. Instead, you grabbed your two bags and began to head out the door. You passed by her and you were already a few steps away when you heard Alexia speak.

“Will I ever see you again?”

You knew she knew the answer to it; you knew she wanted you to say otherwise.

You didn’t turn back when you said, “goodbye, Alexia. Take care of yourself.”

––––––

The flight back home was nothing short of a fever dream: one minute you were at Barcelona-El Prat Airport nursing your head in one of the bathroom stalls as you cried, the next your plane was touching down at your home country’s landing strip.

Derek was there to pick you up and he looked like he was about to bombard you with questions but upon seeing the state of you, his gaze softened, brows furrowing in concern and there–in place of your business partner from a moment ago–was your brother.

He pulled you into a tight hug and you closed your eyes revelling in his comforting scent while you willed yourself not to cry. Although his arms brought solace to your aching heart, the ones you longed to hold you belonged to someone who was a thousand miles away.

Over the next few days following your arrival, you ignored everything and went off the grid, deleting the social media apps on your phone lest the temptations would convince you to check how Alexia was doing. So instead, you busied yourself with catching up with your mother and your friends, and buried yourself with work while Derek hovered in the background, protective and concerned but respectfully giving you time to come around and tell him what happened.

You told yourself you would–that it could wait a little longer. But you never got around to it because the next thing you knew, you, Gilda, and Jones were on air to the conflict zone for journalistic coverage. Once your plane landed, the current malaise from your personal life seemed infinitesimal for it was nothing compared to the afflictive catastrophe of war.

#ap11 #not proofread #mine #my writing #a/n: im so sorry #also an extra round of apologies for any grammar/spelling mistakes for this one #hope you guys like this and would love to know what you think about the story so far #just a reminder: im tweaking minor details as i go so the most accurate copy of all the parts will be on my ao3 (@thesunisatangerine)#apologies for any grammar and spelling mistakes ill work on em later #woso x reader #alexia putellas x reader

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