#but like I can get it from a perspective of wanting to be more believably human

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

So with some of the takes I've been seeing in the Wandee Goodday tag, I wanted to share my perspective.

Just to note - I firmly believe art is subjective and what we see can vary a great deal based on our own perspectives and lived experiences. I'm not calling anyone wrong, I'm just saying this is my personal take on things. (I feel like this should be obvious, but nuance is so often lost online).

And my main goal with watching QL is fun and escapism. I'm here to have a good time. I tend to go with the flow, I like imperfect characters (I even like the fucked-up ones), and I trust the characterization and plot elements to be doing what they need to do until a problem shows within the narrative itself.

Ok, disclaimers done - here's my take on Dee & Yak's interactions around the fake dating idea.

I think all of their interactions are deeply affected by the degree to which they have already developed genuine feelings for each other, but are not yet in a place to admit it, even to themselves.

Do I think Yak has real concerns about being out as a boxer trying to hit a career high? Absolutely. But I think his quick jump to a "let's end this" reaction was mostly a kneejerk attempt to protect himself for what he felt when Dee, the man he is already emotionally connected to, and desperately wants to be able to kiss, dropped a request for fake dating over a real deepening of their relationship.

We don't yet know the level of societal homophobia this show is aiming for, BL land can go many different ways with this, but considering his brother's openness in the gym that he owns, training boxers, there is a tone being set. Yak literally holds hands with Dee in the middle of the street. He doesn't panic when people recognize him at the hospital. This may change, but I'm going to trust the signposts that his career concerns are valid, yes, but are not the dominant issue between them.

Similarly, is Dee competitive and overly focused on winning? Clearly. It's set up in his earlier conversation with Yak for a reason. But at the same time, his insistence that it has to be Yak is not just about his need to win - again, this is about genuine feeling. He wants Yak. This is a way to get Yak, and to frame it to himself in a way that feels less scary and vulnerable, especially after being hurt by Ter.

I know a lot of people saw Dee as being pushy. I do agree with that, and yes it is going to cause more issues for them in the future. But I wish more people also saw Yak holding firm to his boundaries and refusing to give in to the immature behavior from Dee, showing why he's such a good partner for Dee.

And sure, we haven't seen Dee support Yak as much so far, but the scene with the mother and child wasn't there just for kicks. Dee is empathetic and caring, and that will be important in his relationship with Yak as well. He is there for people when things are at their worst.

Some people see Dee on the bridge as being manipulative.

I saw Dee as finally cutting out the toddler shit and being emotionally real about why he's taking the scholarship too seriously, how sensitive he is to what people think of him, why Yak is someone he trusts implicitly, and how he knows it's not Yak's problem and it isn't fair to expect him to fix it.

Some people see Yak as finally agreeing to fake date as showing he is weak to emotional manipulation.

I see a man who has more agency than that. I see a man who is affected by seeing genuine vulnerability both because of how caring he is as an individual, and because of how much he wants a real emotional connection to Dee. And eyes-open, he makes a choice.

These are two characters who have never just been friends with benefits from the beginning. And the narrative has never been about what they are saying. It's about what they are feeling.

#wandee goodday #wandee gooday the series

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hi there!

I had some questions (or statements I wanted to discuss I’m not sure what to call them) because I genuinely don’t know much about the subject. I’m on anon right now but I may comment on my own account later. Also don’t feel obligated to answer if this makes you uncomfortable.

So I was wondering if you could articulate any thoughts on proshipping in the kotlc fandom? I wanted to know your thoughts as from my understanding (and please correct me if I’m wrong) you see it pretty positively, and I wanted to better understand the ‘issue’ (idk what to call it)

Anyways I thought I should include what I already know.

So I understand that when people participate in proshipping it does not reflect their actual worldview.

I understand that it is fictional and really doesn’t affect real life.

I think my issue with proshipping has to do specifically with it happening in the kotlc fandom, and this has to do with Keeper of the Lost Cities being a kids series. My problem isn’t specifically with that, but mostly with the amount of “kids” participating in our fandom space (not actual kids like ten year olds but from my understanding we have an array of people from ages 13-16 who I would consider pretty young)

I just worry about when people make posts about, for example, one of the main cast and an adult in the series, because the Keeper casts ages may closely reflect the actual ages of people in the fandom, we’re creating an unsafe environment and these posts may affect what these ‘kids’ think is okay in real life or for themselves.

Anyways, I wanted to share my thoughts but I really mean it when I say I want to hear your thoughts, I don’t think I know enough about the ‘issue’, especially from the other perspective.

(Also, this isn’t really about your call out post about call out posts, I’ve just seen you liking some pro shipper stuff so I thought you might be interested in that sort of thing)

Hi! Thank you for being respectful about this. First, I avoid labels like "anti" or "proship," as they tend to create an unhelpful us vs. them dichotomy. Especially when, like these terms, they have strong associations and generate strong reactions upfront. It's not, in my opinion, conducive to productive conversation

I believe that all fiction, including disgusting, depraved, uncomfortable fiction, should be allowed to exist without restriction. Whether that's incestuous, predatory, or otherwise.

We don't have to read/watch it. We don't have to like it. Or be comfortable with it. But it needs to be allowed to exist.

It's existence does not harm us (the most that happens is we realize, we are uncomfortable, and then we stop watching/reading/etc. and move on), and there is no way to reliably moderate fiction. It will always be arbitrary, and those arbitrary distinctions will always be enforced by the privileged with power, who will use it to create their narrative and silence others.

The issue many people get stuck on, like you, is about children. Now I'm not saying this is what you're doing, but I'd like to bring up the Think Of The Children logical fallacy. It's a more recent one, so it's less known, and I'm just linking the wikipedia.

What it does is switch to emotional thinking, creating this idea of these helpless little things in danger we need to protect. It creates moral panic, because what are you gonna do? Argue against the children? You monster! It can shut things down.

And while children are young and still learning and need guidance, they're also people. They have their own thoughts, reactions, and choices. They use their childhood to practice that, which is aided by fiction. Fiction is a practice run for the real thing; it can be that learning and guidance

Children take what they see in fiction, where no real people are hurt or in these scary situations, and react. They form opinions, determine what they think is right or wrong, and they have more room for error. For example, it is safer for them to misjudge an actually malicious adult in a story, learn what the warning signs were, and be more cautious going forward with no real life consequence than to make that mistake for the first time with a real person.

This is just a general overview. To specifically address this fandom and its ships, I'm going to start with this: when you were 14, did you think it was okay to date an adult? Did you ever see incestuous art/fic and start wondering if it was okay to date your sister?

Yes, consistent, repeated exposure of concepts from influential places can normalize them. Is that a genuine risk here, or what is happening? Have you seen it happen before on a wide enough scale to be generally applicable? I, of course, cannot speak for everyone, but I already knew those weren't okay by the time I joined the fandom at 13. Yes, 13 is young, but 13 year olds are capable of complex thought and reasoning. Their minds aren't going to be changed that easily, and a lot of them would probably resent the implication (even if unintentional, this is nothing against you) they couldn't figure it out for themselves. At least I would've

And more specific to keeper again: we have maybe a handful of these "weird" and "gross" ships/aus/etc. Posted by a number of people I could likely count on one hand, incredibly infrequently. This is a genuine invitation to think it through: what is that going to do?

Is that from enough places with enough power to normalize these ideas? Who is seeing it? How impressionable are they? Have they already formed ideas of right and wrong? Will this change that?

The conclusion I've come to is: 13 years old is young in the grand scheme of things, but at 13 years old you are capable of complex thought. I don't think the limited number of these "objectionable" topics and posters, which/who can be easily avoided, is going to normalize or make people think it's okay irl. It didn't happen with us, did it?

And I think, to some extent, limiting exposure or controlling media access takes away agency and choice, and that young people being able to experience difficult concepts in fiction before seeing them in real life is beneficial. This often then leads to "but what if they read something really icky they hate!" to which I say, kids aren't going to do things they don't want to. They won't watch movies, shows, or read books about things they're uncomfortable with or disinterested in. I simply put the book down and read something else.

And if they're being forced to, that's a different problem, and the solution is not to make sure the media doesn't exist or they can't access it.

This has been long, broad, sometimes specific, and more all in the attempt to be thorough. What it boils down to is: I don't think what you're worried about is going to happen, or is even slightly likely enough to genuinely plan for or worry about (not that you're unreasonable for worrying, though), and I don't think there's any trustworthy course of action that would separate the "good" from the "bad" and reliably, fairly decide who can see it and when.

I hope this helps answer your questions :). I'm happy to talk about it more, though I don't want to devolve into arguing, so if that starts to happen (with you or anyone else), I will likely end the conversation.

#kotlc #kotlc discourse #quil's queries #nonsie #also I hope it was clear none of this is intending to make it out like you're wrong or ridiculous #I think you have valid fears and concern for others #i just also think that in this instance. what you're worried about is very very unlikely. and as such #should not be used as a reference for how to act #among other things #i'm just trying to be very clear I mean this all incredibly polite and civilly

[originallandlockedmariner]

I’m nothing special.

I’m just flawed and weak as the next person. I let my emotions get the best of me at times. I’m not perfect. I read old messages looking for clues. I listen to old playlists of sad songs when I’m sad. I swear too much. Drink too much. I can be selfish and impatient. I’m a sarcastic asshole for alarmingly long periods of the day. I regret choices I’ve made, words I’ve said in anger, people I’ve let down. I’m no role model. Wow, there’s an understatement. But every day I own my shit. I’m accountable and humble. Every day, I try to just be a little bit better than yesterday. Becoming who you are is a life long journey, baby step after setback after stumble after lesson learned. Forever forward. Green and growing as they say.

I wake up and look at those four framed sentences. “Be impeccable with your word. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t make assumptions. Always do your best.” Simple and yet powerful.

Every day, I’m trying to see things differently. Gain perspective. Embrace not taking every single thing personally. Getting cut off in traffic, not personal. Waiting forever in line for coffee, not personal. It is an uphill climb getting comfortable with the concept that nothing others’ do is directly because of you or to upset you. People do what they do because of themselves. That’s it. Even when they treat you awfully or take you for granted, it has more to do with what’s going on with them than you. *insert lecture about Attribution Error.

As for assumptions, I kinda have a PhD in that field. Never met a situation, never had a conversation, never waited for a text, that I couldn’t attach an assumption to. Assumptions are generally born from misunderstanding and a fear of asking questions. Fear of what might be said. We lack courage to inquire so instead we stand back and fill the void with the worst. Draw from our past pain and create a narrative. I’m trying to break that cycle. Ask more questions. Communicate. Be clear and upfront. I can no longer assume others know what I mean or want and then get upset when they don’t act accordingly. It’s unfair to them and only serves to hurt me in the process.

I’m making integrity part of my daily practice. Speaking with integrity. Actions with integrity. And above all, avoiding the trappings of believing my own landslide of bullshit, being my own worst enemy, and justifying every blunder. Be better. Sidestep gossip and small talk. Apologize when you hurt someone. Accept that you’ll be wrong sometimes. Or in my case, a lot. Do what you say you’ll do. Character isn’t built upon what you said you’d do, but what you rolled up your sleeves and actually did.

As for always doing my best, I’m still figuring out what that animal looks like. I strive to be helpful, but sometimes when you’re always available, they take you for granted, not because they are selfish or unkind, but because they think you’ll always stay. Let them miss you for a while. This goes against everything I am but makes sense. I’ve also learned that there is no shame in being broken and anxious and sad. Be whatever you are right now. No need to make excuses or try to minimize the hurt, deny the confusion. You cannot learn about yourself if at first you aren’t frustrated and confused, the hard questions are born from this. You cannot heal without first being damaged. So be broken and anxious and sad. Cope however you need to; as long as you need to, for there is no instruction manual for this, we all make it up as we go along. Day by day and more often, minute by minute. So as for my best, I guess it is just knowing that when I put my head on the pillow, I gave all that I could, was kinder than I needed to be, inspired a few, and made sure the garage door is closed.

I’m nothing special. But I didn’t lose my shit on the drive into work, didn’t assume sporadic texts were anything but a busy day, and a couple people told me that they are grateful for me - so I’m gonna just go ahead and chalk today up as a win.

@originallandlockedmariner

#me #my words

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Sonny Carisi: Camera  

Warning: NSFW themes- nothing super descriptive.

 

Sonny had promised his mother that he would print the pictures from his niece's third birthday. His caseload had been heavy, and he was already three months late delivering the pictures. He had led his mom to believe that he had already gone through edited and printed the pictures in question. The truth was that he hadn’t even looked at his camera yet.  

All he wanted was to cook you a real homemade meal like he had been promising for far too long. Instead, you were in the kitchen making soup and he was pulling down his camera flipping through his pictures. A hobby that he usually took great joy in but today was feeling more like torture.  

He was flipping through the pictures walking over and turning on his personal laptop. He smiled fondly flashes of a little blonde girl in a pink dress with multicolored tutu. Her running around, blowing bubbles, blowing out her birthday candles, and pink frosting smeared all over her face as she ate birthday cake. 

He was only half paying attention clicking through and reaching for the cord to connect it to the computer. Then he saw a flash of burgundy lace. His eyes flash back to the screen. He stares at it for a minute as his brain comprehends what is on the screen. He brings the camera up closer to inspect the picture. He slowly went through the pictures. None had your face but there was plenty of skin on display. The lace that covered your chest was thin enough to see your skin and harden your nipples underneath. The panties were just as sheer and had straps wrapping around your thighs and stomach. In one picture with your legs spread wide thumb teasing the hem he could clearly see how wet the lace was. Some of the pictures were blurry, had an awkward angle, or both but they were all hot and had Sonny stirring in his pants.  

You hear footsteps coming into the kitchen. You had the soup on the stove simmering. A thick hearty loaded potato with extra bacon to combat the bone-chilling New York cold. “Almost done,” You turn around to see Sonny at the edge of the kitchen. You are all smiles until you see the camera in his hand. 

A memory hits you. You had been waiting for Sonny to get home for date night. You had gone all out shaving your legs, curling your hair, and putting on a new set. All for him to cancel on you. A new lead had popped up that needed to be checked into. You had understood and weren’t mad. You did pout and drink a bottle of wine to yourself. You had spotted the camera halfway through the bottle. It had been an impulse to take the pictures. Your drunk self had wanted Sonny to know what he had missed. You vaguely remember setting the camera back and stripping down and into one of his shirts to sleep in. You hadn’t thought of it since.  

Judging by the look on Sonny’s face he had found them.  

You weren’t sure what to say. You weren’t sure what he would think. Sonny often had a different perspective than most men concerned with things like this because of his years as a detective in sex crimes. “Shit, Sonny...About those pictures- I totally forgot-” 

“Can I take some?” He asked abruptly and you paused a little stunned at his response. Then you noticed the bulge in his pants showing how much he enjoyed what he saw. “I want to take some pictures like these- of you,” He continued then seemingly realizing how it sounded added, “Only if you're okay with it, of course. I don’t want you to feel obligated or uncomfortable or-” 

“Okay,” You agree easily. You knew you had nothing to worry about. Sonny would never show anybody pictures of you. And honestly, the thought turned you on. You squeezed your thighs together at the thought of Sonny being completely enraptured in you and your body. “One condition,” 

His eyes shined with excitement and lust. He was eager. “Name it.” 

“They get locked up in your gun safe.” 

“Done.” 

He reaches out tugging at your wrist to lead you to the bedroom. You laugh a bit in disbelief. “Now?” You look back at the soup on the stove, “Aren’t you hungry?” 

“Famished,” His tone and the way he looked over you made heat pool in your lower stomach, your core clenching. You reach back turning the stove down to its lowest setting before letting Sonny lead you to the bedroom. “I didn’t recognize the set you were wearing. Will you put it back on for me Doll? You’ve given me so many ideas.” 

I considered continuing this (and still might) but this seemed like a smooth stopping point. Love you guys xoxo 

Taglist:

@polkadotpenguin16 

@pulparindos 

@rebeccapineapple 

#svu #law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #dominick carisi #sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi x you #sonny carisi imagine

[shiftinglea]

yw!! It's a shame that there are people who lie about their success stories... I know you should never get your motivation from others, but that story really gave me a motivation boost, but now I know that it's not real... it's just that I also just want to manifest impossible things such as a new apreance etc. and I believe 10000 procent in loa but I have a hard time with unnatural things

Yeah, it is a shame that there are people who lie about it. More than anything, I feel for them because it seems they have lost their faith in their ability to create, and now they feel like they can only lie about it. It’s just sad.

But to you and everyone else who might feel discouraged about other people lying in their success stories I want to tell that there are no limits to what you can create. Sure it might seem impossible to manifest such drastic changes as different appearance. But it’s a matter of perception. When we look at our lives as something difficult and confusing, something we have to figure out, something that is limited by death and logic and where the universe seems bigger than us, mortal humans, then surely manifestation seems like something magical and even unachievable.

When you change your perspective and start to see yourself as God, you remember that you are an infinite and immortal aspect of the Creator, with the same powers as Him (or Her). You remember that you chose to come to this life willingly, forgetting your true identity so you could redefine yourself the way you want. This physical life is just your tool to do it, and you can bend physical laws to your will if you choose. This physical world is your playground, and you can do whatever you want. There are no limits. You just forgot your true identity as God, but now you remember. So whenever you feel doubtful or discouraged, just remind yourself of who you truly are.

#loa tumblr #loassumption #loa blog #neville goddard #void state #i am state

[wetsocksinbed]

SPOILERS FOR THE NEW PLANET OF THE APES MOVIE

a list of things I thought about the new movie

it’s a shame we didn’t get to know anything about Cornelius

i want to know what happened to the original Nova from War. Clearly she was important enough to Maurice and the others that they continued to call all female humans “Nova”

i fully believe that Noa is a descendant of Caesar. You can’t convince me otherwise

Mae frustrated me. On one hand I can see from her perspective why she’s right. She’s essentially doing for humans what Caesar did for apes in Rise. On the other hand, unlike Caesar, she clearly doesn’t believe that apes and humans can coexist.

i hope the next two movies in the trilogy explain what happened to Caesar’s second son after Caesar’s death

I hope we see more Mae in the future. As an ally, not an enemy. They’re clearly setting up for another “humans vs ape” war, and I don’t want Mae to be on the wrong side

im really hoping they keep the original premise from the 1970’s movies where eventually humans and apes coexist

not sure how I feel about the possibility of time travel/space travel being brought back. It worked for a 1970’s movie but I feel like it would come off as tacky

if they kill Noa off like they did Caesar, I’m throwing myself off of a cliff

#Planet of the Apes #kingdom of the planet of the apes #proximus caesar #pota mae #pota noa #pota Caesar #pota Raka #pota spoilers #planet of the apes spoilers #pota nova #pota 2024

[fromtenthousandfeet]

Smells Like Steady Vocals and Perfect Pitch

Part 1.

I wrote this on April 5th, 2024 in a fit of rage/inspiration. I wasn't going to post it but I've decided to anyway because I'd like to give a little perspective about why Jimin, out of all the members of BTS, is popular in the US, and why I think he has amazing potential as a solo artist if he's given the right team and tools.

*******

Today is the 30th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death, so it feels like a sign from the heavens that it's time to write a post I've been composing in my head for months.

So often when I'm on Twitter/X looking for information about Jimin, I see one nasty comment after another downplaying his singing, his artistry, and his talent in general. The phrase repeated the absolute most by the fandom of a particular member is that the reason HYBE invests in one above all the others is because he has the most stable singing voice. And perfect pitch. And the perfect tone for pop music.

Frankly, I get so sick of reading those comments, but I also have to laugh, because it shows such a fundamental misunderstanding of what appeals to music fans in the US/Western countries.

If you open Spotify right now and search for Nirvana, you will see 31.1 million monthly listeners! As a reminder, their last album was released 30 years ago and they only put out 3 major label albums over a 3 year period. Meanwhile, BTS has 28.6 monthly listeners and has a discography a mile long and a career spanning more than 10 years.

Do you honestly think that Nirvana has enjoyed so much popularity over the years because Kurt Cobain had perfect pitch and could sing live? Yeah, no.

I remember where I was the first time I heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit." I couldn't decide if I loved it or hated it, but the song held a strange grip on me. It was sooo different than all the other popular music at the time, even in the alternative scene. It wasn't quite punk, wasn't quite heavy metal. The song was angry and raw, but also oddly charming. But mostly, it was refreshingly different from all the highly produced music that was on radio stations' rotations at the time. Don't believe me? Here's a link to the Billboard Top 100 on the week "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was initially released:

Check out the list and tell me how many of these songs you know. Probably a few, but not many have withstood the test of time (shout out to 3 a.m. Eternal by The KLF, though. That was a fun song).

This was the #1 song that week:

Didn't like it then. Don't like it now.

Now compare that to Smells Like Teen Spirit:

Look at the Billboard list again. Lots R&B (love), dance tracks, a smattering of college radio/alternative tunes, and a whole lot of what we would call easy listening/adult contemporary music. A snooze fest. Nirvana came along at the right time when the American music audience was in desperate need of something more authentic and not so over produced.

Sorry for this long-winded pop music history lesson. Believe it or not, I have a point to make. Americans like a huge range of music styles (as can be seen on the current Billboard charts). We get bored easily. We don't demand a steady voice or perfect pitch. What we want is something new. Something innovative. Something authentic. The biggest western pop stars who have enjoyed long careers in North America know that they must push boundaries and release new, unexpected material in order to stay relevant.

Be it BTS' English trilogy, songs that blatantly emulate American pop singers, or the conveyor belt of 2 minute TikTok-ready tunes sung by Korean girls, so far it doesn't seem like we should expect anything terribly innovative or cutting edge now that Big Hit has morphed into HYBE with its many labels/subsidiaries. Fickle American audiences will move on quickly, in my humble opinion.

One last thing. The US is a huge country with very diverse cultures based upon geographical location. Gender, age, ethnicity, urban vs. rural, and region of the US all influence what people are listening to. What's popular in Atlanta isn't necessarily popular in Salt Lake City, for example. Americans are not a homogenous group and neither is our taste in music.

[countess-of-edessa]

the thing about taking advice from anyone on tiktok or instagram including catholic and christian type influencers, parenting advice, relationship advice, etc, or internalizing any stories of horrible relationships and betrayal people tell on those platforms, or reading about all the ways interpersonal relationships can end horribly and be cycled through extremely quickly on those platforms is that you are necessarily then consuming the thoughts and experiences of someone who is willing to put their face and name on a public social media platform to talk at you. and like 1% of those people have a good reason for doing so and the other 99% are completely unhinged. so everything you’re consuming has first gone through the filter of "is this person weird and insane enough to make Instagram reels of themselves crying?" and if the answer is yes maybe their advice doesn’t apply to your life because you’re a normal person who would not do that.

#i don’t know if this makes sense but it’s something i was thinking about today #not that i really live my life according to Instagram reel advice but as a human being when i see something stated as fact i naturally seek #out the parts of it I believe or compare it to my current worldview #and when that person seems to have a lot of “clout” for discussing spiritual things….idk sometimes I’m like wait is this true? should i #believe this? and other times I’m like well is this a real pattern of behavior that can be observed in many people from different walks of #life including my own? this thing that all men do or all women do or the way all couples will eventually behave #this makes it sound like i am constantly on social media consuming hours of content which im really not #I’ll be on a train and scroll a little bit and something gets stuck in my craw #but with me I’m always like am i rationalizing this away because i don’t want it to resonate? #and I think in the case of anything on social media the answer can almost always be no #because im like wait. why would i take advice from someone who has a public Instagram account #im not saying a stopped clock isn’t right twice a day but really how much of my perspective and life experiences can they share in #when we have this totally totally mismatched worldview #(i mean this also applies to basically anyone offering any type of life advice who isn’t catholic about that) #(but when they are Catholics doing this that gives me slightly more pause for obvious reasons I’m like we are on the same team though?) #(and we are but only kind of and i do not have to listen to you because being an Instagram influencer is still cringe in 99% of cases.)

[commsroom]

when it comes down to it, however much i think about eiffel's memory, whatever my reasoning might be, i think there's a much simpler core explanation for why i feel the way i do. i've said before that, if eiffel did regain his memory, i would want it to happen through 'an eiffel version of change of mind' i.e. a personal inner journey where the narrative he tells himself amounts to some greater reminder, self-confrontation, and self-realization. and that's just it:

eiffel regaining his memory wouldn't be a cop out to me for the same reason that lovelace not actually dying isn't a cop out: it's not just a story beat, it's a catalyst for character development & a better understanding of lovelace as a person. eiffel has spent his whole life trying not to be the person he is, and i just don't feel wolf 359 is the type of story to let him off the hook for that, when the ending is as much about accountability (to ourselves and to others and all the ways those responsibilities overlap) as it is about hope. i think there are ways you could argue that eiffel can still be eiffel without regaining his memory, but i think i've convinced myself that the symbolic resurrection / self-confrontation and acceptance of all the people he's been in the past, in order to move forward, is the more compelling option, especially for what it parallels, and the "eiffel is still eiffel" part is non-negotiable. it doesn't even feel like a question to me.

(and it makes the most sense to me in the context of eiffel's survivor's guilt - "of course i was fine. the driver's always fine." - and tendency towards a type of self-sacrifice and self-punishment that the show ultimately denies him / that doesn't address his real problem. he thinks sacrificing himself for the people he cares about will make up for something, but it won't. having him make that sacrifice and then keep living and keep being doug eiffel, with everything that means, feels like the natural extension of constructive criticism.)

in another story, or in a more theoretical context, there are all kinds of questions you could ask about whether eiffel's memory loss means he's a different person now, but in this case... i think it's better understood in narrative terms and what it represents for him as a character than any broader philosophical conclusion about the nature of the self and human consciousness. (and it is in no way as absolute as people sometimes behave like it is, considering he still has a concept of, like... everything. but that's a whole other topic of discussion.) most importantly, i just don't believe wolf 359 is a story about ideas as much as it is a story about people, these people, and in order to (hypothetically) continue to tell a story about doug eiffel, well. he has to still be doug eiffel. one way or another.

#wolf 359 #w359 #doug eiffel #this was supposed to be a short post just to get some thoughts out #i don't know if it'll even make sense to other people like it makes sense to me. #obviously i have plenty of other thoughts about this. which belong in more structured posts #but i will say i still believe the question 'am i still doug eiffel?' is answered by its context - #that he's already asked 'am i still that same person?' - a different question. the answer to which would be 'no' even before #and that 'am i still doug eiffel?' is the set up for 'wanna find out together?' #that's the actual question being asked. it's the answer to the previous question and what the show leaves you with #when asked about the show the writers talk a lot about their fondness for 'earned happy endings' in those words #so i can only see the finale and any post-canon hypothetical through that lens #it's not a tragedy so any option that would make it feel like one just doesn't resonate #and i will say it feels important to me that he regains his memory but equally important that it doesn't happen right away #like i'm sure of this from a narrative perspective but from an in-universe one it has to be something he grapples with #the fact that eiffel almost certainly doesn't want to still be eiffel is the exact reason why he has to be. #it's the same 'earned happy endings' principle in my mind

[unproduciblesmackdown]

ppl will be explaining how a difference is a difference & not a Deviation from a Superior state, & people who are the ones considered Default Normal (superior) will be like "okay....to be polite....i Might say i consider Some aspects of Some people's existence mere 'difference' & not being less than me...." as like hey i'm a Benevolent god. i still actually get to consider you worse & don't have to "humor" anything that challenges my superiority. if you only want everything to fit into the norm then it will all come back to upholding the norm. thinking of people's analysis of their own realities as equally legimate as being like Obscure, Irrelevant, Superficial & then using that reasoning to justify dismissing them. same as worrying that the [Different Lessers (Others(tm))] as Everywhere = a manifestation of the awareness that, yeah, respecting them as equals Does threaten your norm which is smothering everything everywhere. ppl who need to lock in the idea of Borders around personhood like um Yes they're all delineated separate Identities outside any hierarchy & so i think it's relevant to for some reason push back against "ohh so now Everyone's queer" like why not. why couldn't they be. what if they were. what if queerness was everywhere b/c it's ideological not a cordoned off Alternative Identity that is accommodated by focusing on Love(tm) as the new border around whose existence we might begrudgingly accept at arm's length (i.e. being otherwise "normal"! just imagine swapping out the binary gender (or, deep breath, presumed Private Parts) of one partner in an exclusive romantic lifelong nuclear family marriage, & that is Gay / Trans Rights. still gross but maybe we can do it, as long as they don't talk about it or shove it in our faces or even exist for more than one encounter w/us in our lives b/c what are the odds). evergreen laughing at someone suggesting ableist logic might be embedded in language of past & present b/c it's just So little to ask for that it's irrelevant but it's also So much to ask for that of course i'm not gonna do anything more than pass it along like "this is why i don't take ableism seriously" like yeah it's the disabled randos like it's the individual cringe teens(tm) ruining [the cishets would take Gender seriously otherwise!!!] & that's why you won't think about it or do anything about it & continue being comfortable with the norm & resent that actually their Difference is Less & disability is something worse that ppl "excuse" & all these ways that people are & all these things that they do are funny & weird & inexplicable & etc & one can't possibly be cruising along perpetuating a hierarchy with a sense that you're reasonable, well meaning, kind, etc etc & thus Justified, systemic oppression definitely wants to maximize how uncomfortable & arduous it feels to everyone rather than push to make it more streamlined & rewarding to embrace, or at least accept, whatever superiority over others you're afforded

#circled around to lovelessness as a lens there. so long as one was loving. so long as one wasn't consciously malicious #really just mask off about keeping the same perspective of Superiority when conflating disability & ppl ''making excuses'' #same as like e.g. that ppl consider everything an autistic person does as being Bad / Wrong / Worse. (this includes ''unskilled''!!!) #(crushing the Social Skills(tm) framework in talking abt allistic difference in my fist) #such that they think sm1 saying Autistic!! is then something they might be unfairly Beholden to to Put Up With their Wrongness #at special times in special scenarios....rather than like in some contexts you are no more ''right'' than the other party #different groups & cultures whose Norms Standards & Expectations could render You presumed rude thoughtless pushy etc #obvious overlaps to consider re: the Norms of like english speaking as ''universal'' someone noticeably speaking it as nth language? #time to Presume their ideas & contributions are Less. if they had the good brain like you their fluency would render their linguistic #Wrongness in having a diff 1st language invisible thus irrelevant. like the ''ideal'' for disability! as the ''ideal'' for anyone Passing #in any way! queer ppl surely all want to be as proximate to cishet ideals (just as cishet ppl should!) nonwhite ppl to Ideal White #women's rights = Proving they're As Good As men. ladies you're using too many exclamation points!! be Confident be Pushier!! #but ofc nobody actually wants the Others(tm) to be Equal. they're just saying ''it's your innate Wrongness that means you Aren't'' #the ableism logic in everything. men just Are better at xyz. oh we Can abuse autists...into being as proximate to allistic as possible!! #just actually means ''oh we Can abuse autists.'' the ''correctness'' is your Difference ''intruding'' less into allistic existence #force you to be harmed & diminished all day then save your meltdowns for when you're alone & out of the way #ppl's tweets like ''when ppl say 'omg too sensitive ofc i wasn't talking abt disabled ppl!' like yeah no shit b/c you never think of #disabled ppl'' like yeah most people idk aren't making their life's agenda to stop everyone from saying Stupid #but like believe me people organically sense the Vintage R words when you get called Idiot in exactly the same spirit & purpose #i mean that's so rworded as in that's so gay!! cmon!! & it's fine if you don't say either to gay ppl or. or. [insert the office quote] #oh i don't call um 20th c disabled ppl morons it's bad taste!! but b/c i use it Figuratively in the present it's fine it's so Different #fr i can't remember like. an article w/1 matter of fact sentence from a doctor using a [now Just a childish insult!!] as Diagnostic Label #for someone's disability & it still registered like ice water in the face. presumably no ''especial'' Malice just matter of fact! #it wasn't ''idiot'' it may have been ''moron'' fr. the vintage ''factual'' r word is There plain as day #like yeah ofc the ableism gets channeled into alternate language. & then complaints abt that is like UGH CMON!!! #like idk shouldn't you be fine using the R word then too? not really sweating this issue thee most all thee time either but like #it's not sooo funny even if someone seems pressed extensively abt it. not that hard to in fact just not use all these words all the time #ppl will be throwing out their ableism w/o Any labels talking about how Weird Offputting Etc someone acts so you can Tell they're bad.... #and yeah you should think abt that. anytime. the [difference used to categorize ''other'' is Just difference] Is Everywhere All The Time #the idea it can & should be ''contained'' for especial limited specific occasions (when you're feeling Nice!) = upholding the status quo

[blackbirdblackbird]

also another thing that frustrated me was how like they seemed to forget where kara came from over the years? like she could be alien but not kryptonian.

#also like going all the back to making her younger to start with #idk what the process behind that was #but like I can get it from a perspective of wanting to be more believably human #or to give her and alex more to bond and really be sisters or something #but going from her arriving as almost an adult to still being a child #kinda loses something from her character and the contrast to kal #also argo too #like that does come from the comics too #and I like the idea of her having family and a little bit of home out there #but kara being last (or close to it) living memory of krypton is interesting to me #and I think wasn't really adequately explored before that #like imagine early s3 with kara being depressed and throwing herself more into sg #and alex and lena who knows at this point #using that as a way to connect with her and pull her back #kara helping them learn kryptonese and sharing kryptonian culture with them #(also kinda laying the groundwork for her later coming out and being able to be her whole self freely) #also later once reign is dealt with bringing sam and ruby into this too

[roadkillip]

I think Belos really suffers from the unfortunate constraints of 1) time, and 2) having to make a manipulative villain's lies obvious because he's in a children's cartoon. I just think Hollow Mind would be very fun if Belos, instead of instantly showing Luz and the audience memories that proved how evil he was, had tried to show himself as in the right. He chose the memories they viewed, after all.

#philip wittebane #emperor belos #I'll talk about this forever (because i want to know more of his backstory) #like! he goes to so much trouble to make himself seem good! but the moment he meets Luz and Hunter in his mind #he's okay with being evil in their eyes? boring! imo #like i guess he can easily write off Hunter. Hunter is very loyal to him at the moment‚ but the Grimwalkers always betray him #he's killed how many versions of his brother? he's resigned to it now‚ at the very least. no use getting attached! #but Luz is seemingly the only other human he's seen in centuries‚ and he likes her - he asks her to work with him multiple times #so. sure. he can give her his entire plan instantly‚ as though she'd ever agree to it. or... he could lie to her too #like he does any other time #if we had had more time‚ i think it would be fun if Belos tried to get Luz in his side by showing his perspective... a twisted view of it #she first met Philip being beaten up by demons! and she believed he was an innocent victim‚ and rushed to protect him #without the context behind that (that he had gotten their companion killed and eaten his palisman) he did seem innocent #i think he could have shown her more memories of that nature. mistreatment from wild witches #things that prove that magic needs to be controlled. that what he's doing is protecting people #but Luz knows wild witches. she knows Eda isn't evil‚ and that Belos's coven system is hurting people who can't be part of covens #or who simply don't want to be. people who aren't evil at all‚ but are forced away from society for not fitting in #and Luz knows all about not fitting in!

[watchmakermori]

every single episode of attack on titan season 4 is basically saying in bright flashing neon letters ‘do not demonise people who seem different to you. you are the same in all the ways that matter. painting others as evil only leads to senseless violence, which causes more violence in turn until you are trapped in an endless cycle of it’ and yet somehow all the crunchyroll comments are full of people like ‘eren did nothing wrong’ ‘i hope someone kills gabi’ ‘marleyans deserve to die because they struck first’ like oh my godd oh my god oh my fucking god. did the wind part your hair when the point sailed over your head

#attack on titan #attack on titan season 4 #attack on titan fans and breaking bad fans fighting over who can miss the themes of the show the hardest #this always happens in shows where the protagonist becomes somebody to be feared #and just like walt #eren's personality is seeded from very early on #if you look back you can ABSOLUTELY see it coming #he doesn't change so much as the context changes and other people start getting hurt because of them #eren is striving towards titan genocide in the final season but like. that is quite literally what he has always strived for #right back in like episode 2 he was vowing to kill every last titan #his approach has changed somewhat but he still fundamentally believes that killing is the answer #that's been consistent all through the show #but the audience's perspective changes because we learn more about what titans are. about how eren and everybody else is an eldian #blows my mind that people can look at gabi who basically IS EREN. she IS EREN and it is NOT subtle at all #and be like 'damn I hate that girl I want her dead' #she is eren as he was ten years ago watching his hometown and family destroyed #and she is raging with blind hate just like eren was #the problem with this show is people think you're supposed to pick a side. but you aren't #basically nobody in this whole series a good person and /that is the point/ #it's so hard to BE a good person when you are trapped in a cycle of violence

[mihai-florescu]

How many weeks into a job would it be appropriate to start wearing my wataei itabag to the office?

#i can already see myself from a stranger's perspective #taking the train between my city and the capital every day going to my creative industry job in the pretty house by the river #maybe going to premiers of films the company worked on (i stalked my supervisors on linkedin) #i always struggle with stepping more and more into becoming an adult. i feel like i havent grown since i was 18 #but i have. and then i regressed. but now im going to start going forward again #right? #i want to believe it will all work out well so badly #im afraid to talk about it too much in case i jinx it #but im really...from an outsiders view in im really happy. i dont know how ill feel until i actually start though #i am scared what if they just felt bad rejecting me. which isnt what you should think when you get a job #but it just seems too good to be true

[golisopod-mutual]

Happy pride, I'm so glad to be aro

#i really struggled coming to terms w it at first but I've accepted it & even am happy to be aro #it's not only put a lot of my experiences into context but it's also given me a new perspective in a lot of things #realizing i was aro made me reevaluate some stuff #& i realized i held some beliefs that weren't truly what i wanted they'd just been so ingrained in me by society #it was a starting point of me recognizing what i really want & what's important to me in relationships #like it was the thing that kickstarted a HUGE shift in my perspective & led to me breaking away from the restrictive ideas I previously had #and now i feel so much more free. more in touch w my own wants. and overall happier #before i was rly hung up on getting a bf/gf bc i felt not having one was a reflection of my value as a person. #but then i realized i dont even WANT one i just felt i had to gave one regardless of my wants #and since then I've been able to appreciate the ppl in my life more bc im not hung up on labels or stuck chasing smthg that wouldn't #make me happy anyway #like now instead of being so concerned w 'i have to get a bf regardless of what that relationship actually is like' #I'm more able to appreciate the relationships in my life for the content of the relationship & not the label #I've realized what's important to me isn't romance & kissing & etc. it's just important that i have ppl i trust & care for to hang w #it's been rly freeing to be like 'here's what's important to me & here's what i was made to believe was important but rly isnt to me' #and its opened the door for me to really appreciate the important ppl i have around & the ways in which i can & do love them #instead of me always being too preoccupied chasing romance i didnt even ever rly want just bc i felt i had to

[hungee-boy]

journalism? am i wanting to be a journalist

#yeah the one class i systematically failed at no matter how it was taught #ms high school english #shes laughing at my ass rn but writing college essays and being able to like idk #talk about what i want #its not bad at all #and i wanna do that especially to help leftists and minority groups #plus id try to make it as straight to the point so that fellow audhds can make better sense of it than shit like #'less than 30 but more than 10 people under 18 had their hearts stopped' shit #idk #i still wanna be a teacher but this could be a coinciding calling i think #i also want to talk to people and get human perspectives on how certain events start #from both sides #this is weird and obv a privileged white opinion but i do want to sit down with bigots and pick their brains #i want to know why they believe and do the shit they do #yes for my own curiosity but also to i guess devise better plans for fighting back against bigotry