#but nowadays i say the latter. just because everyone says that

[front-facing-pokemon]

#slightly closer angle under the cut #zeraora #aaahhh yes. many a furry's Favorite Legendary #i'd have a hard time disagreeing! wait hold on one of the suggested tags when i typed “i'd” was “i'd cry” #me too hello? sorry WAIT WHAT WAS THAT ONE #when i was typing that one it had one with a bunch of. fire emojis in it. as a suggested tag. no idea what THAT was but #whatever this is irrelevant. yes many furries like this guy and i can see why. literal catboy pokémon. i definitely am not slightly miffed #that you can only get this thing through mystery gifts #literally the only zeraora i've ever acquired is the shiny one from the mystery gift they had in swsh #also i used to pronounce its name as [zə.'ɻaw.ɻə] instead of something like /ze.rə.'ɔ.rə/ or whatever people say #but nowadays i say the latter. just because everyone says that

[talesofesther]

sweet calamity | ch 6

Wednesday Addams x Reader

Series Summary: It was something people described as the sweetest pain, the feeling of when the soul that’s destined to find yours is closer to you. Wednesday saw it as a curse, promised herself she would hate whoever was chosen for her; but it’s easier said than done.

A/N: Enid loves playing matchmaker, even if she's not the best at it. Things are progressing interestingly. <3

Masterlist | Read ch 5 here

Wednesday is considering ripping her own heart out.

There's a Poinsettia in a pot in front of you. The incompetent botany teacher asked you to make it bloom, just so she could show everyone where the toxins come from and how they can be used.

You're two tables to the front, sitting beside Xavier while Wednesday has a staring contest with the back of your head.

She wants to rip out her heart and have a very serious talk with it, because it appears to be noticing your absence and making it her problem too. How tragic.

You wanted space and Wednesday gave it to you, she just wasn't anticipating that it would affect her this much.

"I can't decide if you have a crush on her or if you're planning her murder." Enid mused from beside the Addams girl, her chin propped up in her hand.

"The latter." Wednesday deadpanned.

Enid hummed, her eyes slowly moving from you to Wednesday, "you know I'd appreciate it if you didn't murder my friends though."

Wednesday kept quiet, in her hands she was picking apart a poor jasmine flower, its petals being discarded on top of her open notebook.

You'd be mad if you saw her do it.

Wednesday's eyebrows scrunched together in a frown. Why is she thinking about that?

"I haven't seen you two speaking these last couple of days," Enid tried to sound nonchalant, "did something happen?"

For a moment, Wednesday considered saying something, her old therapist did tell her it was healthy to talk about her emotions.

Yet she settled for; "nothing happened."

Enid rolled her eyes, she could see right through Wednesday's little lie because it wasn't the first nor the second time that she has caught her friend making heart eyes at you.

In fencing class, Wednesday keeps her eyes on you like a hawk stalking its prey.

If you're walking around the cafeteria with Andrew, Wednesday is crushing her soda can as if it personally offended her.

Whenever you're out working in the gardens, Wednesday is making up excuses to go check the bees outside.

Enid has never seen her best friend this taken with someone, and part of her thinks not even Wednesday has fully realized it yet. So, being the good friend she is, Enid has made up a plan to help her out.

"Wednesday," the werewolf said her friend's name in a singsong voice, scooting closer so she could lay her head on Wednesday's shoulder.

The raven-haired girl huffed, "Enid, your death wish is showing."

The empty threat was ignored with a grin, "me and the girls are going shopping for the Rave'n tomorrow, and since you're my bestie, I would really like you to tag along."

"While I appreciate your attempt at torture," Wednesday side-eyed her friend, "I'd rather dump my eyeballs in acid than spend an afternoon picking dresses for a frivolous party."

Enid picked at her colorful nails mindlessly. "Our resident flower girl is coming with us too," she said quietly, but her wolfish smirk was unmistakable.

Wednesday tensed, crushing in her hands the last bits of the jasmine flower she was still holding. Damn you, damn you, damn you.

"Fine," she said through gritted teeth, "if you insist this much."

———

You're sitting on one of the benches just outside Nevermore, waiting for Enid so you can all leave for town together.

The sun's warmth isn't doing much nowadays, there's a permanent coldness to the air. You tightened your scarf around your neck, partly wishing you'd put on gloves as well before leaving.

Chatter reached your ears and you turned your head to see Enid coming to you, there was a bounce on her step and a contagious smile on her lips; Divina and Yoko walk beside her, holding hands.

"I hope you're ready for the best girl's trip ever," the werewolf exclaimed as she stopped in front of you, clasping her hands together.

"So much that I couldn't even sleep last night," you smiled back.

"Perfect," Enid's cheeks were pink from the cold, they shaped her smile adorably as she took hold of Yoko's arm, "we should hurry, the trolley is leaving, like, really soon."

Enid hurried towards the station, tugging Yoko with her and consequently Divina; their absence revealed Wednesday's presence.

You flinched when your eyes met her dark ones, your breathing getting momentarily stuck. You had not been expecting her to tag along at all.

"Uh hi," you stumbled out.

"Hello," she raised her chin in a way you're familiar with, her hands gripping the edge of her hoodie.

"I didn't know you were coming," you said awkwardly, not knowing what else you could possibly say.

You thought you saw Wednesday's posture deflate a little. She slowly blinked once, her gaze roaming over your features; "Enid has been begging me incessantly, she'd be devastated if I didn't come today."

You shifted your stance and glanced away from her, pursing your lips with a nod, "I see."

A beat passed, you could hear the wind, feel the cold of it on your bare hands. You really wished you had gloves on.

"You're not happy I'm here." Wednesday breathed. It was a statement, not a question.

You looked up at her, really looked, for the first time in forever, it feels. The black beanie she wore pushed her bangs down, she has to move the hair aside otherwise it'll cover her eyes; it was longer than it was the day you first met her. Her nose and the tip of her ears have a soft, barely there shade of pink to them, because of the cold or something else, you don't know. The outlines of her eyes and lips aren't as sharp as they used to be. It's different. She's different.

"Why do you say that?" You asked gently, because maybe gentle is what she needs right now.

"You wanted space. It's clear you don't enjoy my company anymore," Wednesday gulped, "and I'm breaking our agreement."

You shook your head softly, "it's not like I hate you, Wednesday."

Wednesday's lips parted, and she felt like a fawn in the middle of the road, paralyzed by the blinding lights of a speeding truck.

Your words cut deep. They shouldn't. But they do.

You raised an eyebrow at her, there's a smile playing on your lips but it doesn't hold much happiness; "I actually wanted space for the exact opposite reason."

Stop it. Wednesday wanted to say, words tangled in a lump in her throat. Please, stop making me feel-

"Guys, come on," Enid's voice captured both of your attentions, "we're gonna miss our ride."

—

It was the stuff of nightmares. No, worse. Not even in her worst nightmares, did Wednesday witness this.

She was drowning in a sea of satin. There was silk and velvet there too; overflowing pastel pink, baby blue, and luxurious white.

The store had endless rows of dresses to nauseate the Addams girl. The dark color of her attire stood out like a sore thumb in the middle of the fancy room.

Enid hurried in front of her, clutching close to her chest the dress she had chosen, "what about this one?"

"Disgraceful, just like the other six," Wednesday grunted.

"It's perfect, Enid," you were quick to interject, "you should definitely try it on."

The werewolf glared at Wednesday and gave you a thankful smile, before skipping over to the dressing room.

Wednesday crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back against the cream-colored wall to her right so she could lock eyes on you. "Aren't you gonna dive into this meaningless shopping as well?" She inquired.

You could see Yoko and Divina on the other side of the store, the vampire holding two dresses for her girl as she followed her around. It made you smile. You turned to look at Wednesday, biting on the inside of your cheek; "aren't you?"

"I'm not going," Wednesday said as if it was obvious, "even if I was, I already have an outfit. One is enough."

You're not sure why you felt a little disappointed by knowing she wouldn't be there. But you nodded anyway, turning your back to Wednesday so you could browse through the rack of dresses behind you. "No," you said to answer her previous question, "I actually already have my outfit for the party too."

There was a beat of silence, you could feel Wednesday's stare boring into your back.

"Who's taking you?" She asked then even though she knows the answer, telling herself she was just making conversation.

"Andrew," was your answer, taking a single glance behind to her.

The name makes Wednesday clench her jaw, "he's dull."

"He's nice to me," you said then, raising your eyebrows at her tone.

"He'll get you ashamed at some point, you can do better," she shrugged.

"He's my friend, Wednesday." You told her with a little more bite to your tone.

"You should tell him that." Wednesday's voice would always be harder than yours.

You chuckled, mumbling an okay.

Wednesday rolled her eyes. She doesn't care who you go with anyway. "Why are you here if you're not buying anything?"

"Same reason as you."

Wednesday tensed, getting ahead of herself and giving her own meaning to your words. She took a breath and held it in her lungs.

"Enid was very insistent I joined her," you explained further without looking at her, brushing your fingertips over the floral pattern of a dress. This one was indeed dreadful.

Wednesday released the air that was trapped.

You shrugged and turned back around, carefully closing the distance between you and her. The back of your head rests against the wall, your shoulder short of brushing Wednesday's.

"Honestly, I just wanted an excuse to get out a little."

Wednesday hummed, her fingers subconsciously tapping the mark on her wrist. "Maybe we should just leave then, let them lose their time trying out these obnoxious clothes while we do something actually entertaining," She suggested, a smile threatening to show on her lips.

You look at her with a grin of your own, eyes glinting with adoration at the suggestion, at her. "That would be thrilling wouldn't it?" You indulge her fantasy.

"They wouldn't know what happened, or where to possibly start searching," Wednesday met your gaze with her own, hyper-aware of how close you were; she could feel your warmth, count the specks of color in your eyes.

"Maybe even assume the worst," you said in a breath, eyes lazy as they focused on the burgundy lines of Wednesday's lips and then back on the mischief swimming in her gaze.

To Wednesday, every minute with you was torture. Sweet, blissful torture as you dangled something in front of her. Something she saw as unattainable. She saw herself captured in a haze, unaware that she was shifting closer, closer.

"You said I can do better," you hushed, so quiet you doubt she'd listen if she wasn't this close but you were afraid to break the spell of the moment. Your lips hovered before you kept going, "who's better?"

Wednesday felt the shape of your words with each breath you took, raising goosebumps on the back of her neck.

No one is good enough. Wednesday decided.

No one, except-

"I loved it!" Came Enid's sudden animated voice, successfully breaking the bubble you had created around each other.

It was like a slap to the face when Wednesday realized the position she found herself in. She had been totally taken by you, forgetting any and all types of rational thinking.

She blinked several times, running her tongue over her bottom lip because her mouth was suddenly dry.

What just happened?

When you awkwardly cleared your throat and kept your gaze on your sneakers, Wednesday knew it had been the same for you.

"Oh," Enid looked between both of you back and forth, "did I just interrupt something?"

You groaned, feeling heat creeping up on your neck and to your cheeks.

"Nothing to interrupt," Wednesday snapped, pushing herself away from the wall and briskly walking to the kid's section of the store.

You figured she just wanted to get away. You can't blame her.

Enid was exasperated. She slung her chosen dress over her shoulder, placing both hands on her waist, "okay, I am done with you two. What is going on?"

You pouted, sliding yourself down against the wall until your butt hit the cold floor. "It's really complicated, Enid."

"Yeah, no shit," the werewolf started, "I can see that, but-" she cut herself off when realization hit her. You saw it in the way she lit up like a Christmas tree, mouth hung open with the beginnings of a smile. You cursed under your breath.

"Wait," Enid breathed, having trouble containing her excitement, "ARE YOU THE-"

"Enid!"

She crouched down to your level after the halfhearted glare you gave her. "You are, aren't you? You're Wednesday's soulmate." She squealed, her hands clutching at her dress.

You leaned your head back against the wall, closing your eyes and that was answer enough for her.

"I knew it, I knew there was something going on between you."

"Enid, no," you reached forward and took one of her hands in your own, "there's nothing going on between us and please, keep it down."

Enid shook her head as if you were speaking a foreign language, "but this is the best thing, I mean, you've found each other, you found your-"

"You know as best as I do who we're talking about here." You insisted, your chest tightening with each word, "it's a delicate situation so please, keep it down. Don't tell it to anyone else, okay?"

That seemed to bring Enid back from her high, she sighed, holding your hand between both of her own, "no, you don't get it. She likes you."

You closed your eyes, "Enid…"

"I've never seen Wednesday act like this with anyone else before, okay?" She pressed, "and I've known her longer than you," she teased, raising a brow at you.

You want to believe her, you really do. But you don't allow yourself to. Her hands are warm against your cold ones, the blonde of her hair is getting a little blurred in your sight.

"Then I hope you're right," you smiled.

She squeezed your hands and got up, pulling you with her, "come on, get up, you look like a lost child."

After locating Wednesday and saving her from a chatty five-year-old, Enid wanted everyone to stop at the Weathervane for some coffee.

It was a nice, cloudy day outside so the prospect of a hot beverage was welcomed; you felt all warm and fuzzy on the insides, both from your drink and from sitting in a booth surrounded by friends who enjoyed your company.

Of course, Enid made sure that you and Wednesday sat side by side, your shoulder brushing hers each time you raised the mug to your lips.

Wednesday kept quiet most of the time, her eyes focused on the window beside her, watching as the people walked by on Jericho's streets; sometimes, she'd lean her weight just a tad more against you, personal space being a forgotten concept.

Maybe it was because there was little room on the booth, or maybe Enid's idea of Wednesday actually liking you wasn't too farfetched.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Read ch 7 here

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keep me motivated to continue posting here, so I'd appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment if you want. <3

Wednesday’s taglist: @milkiane @bookfrog242 @heelaechan @imagine-reblog @simp4wanda26 @sakurarukas @bluetreecloud20 @the-night-owl-blr @imlike-so-gaydude @user284747 @dreifhraniquo29 @emeraldevan @simp4nat @boobabietch @impossibleliv1031 @deadpool-in-a-snood @rainbow-love4ever @maria-403 @pompompuri @halleest @wandaromanova @marveloussimp @rainbow-hedgehog @left-and-right-up-and-down @get-the-fuck-outta-here @awolfcsworld @elduster @alexkolax @georgi-salva @imdumbhi @youralphawolf72 @reginassweetheart @justyourwritter69 @yangsroboarmm @8e-h-e8 @irish-piece-of-trash @femalehomosexual666 @thenextdawn @trishatheotaku

#wednesday addams x reader #wednesday addams imagine #wednesday addams x fem!reader #wednesday addams #wednesday #wednesday addams x you #wednesdayedit #imagine #fanfic #fluff #angst #wednesday addams fanfic #jenna ortega #wednesday x reader #my story

[thejockout]

A Word On Dumbing Down

In some conversations with my bros @avissapiens and @master-villain the other day, I finally managed to put a specific idea into words that had been crystallising for a long time. Nothing earth-shattering or even transformative, because I'd been exploring this same understanding with different wording for quite a while now, but it felt significant to me and sparked me to make this post.

The realisation was simple: Dumbing Down is not something you can "Do" as a standalone action. It's perhaps more accurate to say Dumbing Down is itself the perspective shift and realisation that "Smart" is something you can choose to "Not Do."

Clunky wording, I know, but pretend it's smooth for me.

(And as a necessary fyi, this post assumes familiarity with Dumbing Down as a hypnotic concept, which is nowadays most often written and spoken about as a general simplification of thought and cognition versus turning you into some drooling doofus. Maybe the latter is your thing, maybe it isn't - either way, I'm talking here about the more "realistic"/AKA sustainable model where the word dumb is synonymous with "so laid back, you don't want to think or care if people perceive you as dumb because of it".)

Too many subjects (myself included) work at hypnotic personality and cognition changes with a straining effort, in an energetically desperate approach. This is understandable - we tend to push hard for things we really want - and anyone can fall victim to it. It's very similar contextually to the trap many anxiety sufferers fall into when they begin therapy. In an earnest attempt to recover, many sufferers approach recovery with the exact same mindset they do life; that of a "fixer", a "do-er", someone who problem-solves and overthinks themselves into knots and runs loops around the same well-worn mental tracks over and over again to the point of exhaustion.

Don't worry, I'm not here to give some big-brain solution to mental health issues. I suffer myself and am on my own journey of recovery, so I'm in no place to play armchair psychologist. But I will speak about this topic as it relates to hypnosis and dumbing down because the overlap of people who are into Dumbing Down/IQ Reduction/Simplification/Bimbofication/Himbofication hypnosis and who suffer with anxiety (and overthinking) is quite high, so chances are that many who struggle with Dumbing Down suggestions are making the same mistakes. Please see my peer-reviewed Paint Diagram below which provides unequivocal, non-anecdotal proof of this.

IMO, there's nothing wrong with this overlap. Kink is an outlet for many people to deal with emotional issues, and often a very helpful coping mechanism. Dumbing Down is no different conceptually. But I'm talking about this because, just like approaching anti-anxiety work with an anxious energy and effort is doomed to failure, the exact same is true for Dumbing Down. Approaching it with an Intellectualist mindset OR in other words, the anxious energy of a fix-er and do-er and try-er is antithetical to the very state you wish to experience.

Does that make sense?

Successful Dumbing Down (beyond the very enjoyable, shorter-term effects of deep trance which feel like intoxication) is effectively the act of stepping back from mental action/the habit of overthinking. To give another clumsy metaphor, if your default mind works like a toy train constantly running around its track, sometimes gaining speed and sometimes slowing down... Dumbing Down comes from realising "hey, I can actually plug this thing out." No, it's not as simple as turning off an appliance, and it takes time for everyone. Overthought (in all its forms, whether anxious or just from over-intellectualising your life) is effectively a habit, and habits take time to make or break.

Therefore, Perspective Shift #1 that you need to make: recognise that thinking patterns and their frequency are ultimately behavioural and habitual, and can therefore be rewired and lessened with time and specific action. It's not an immediate thing - but it is possible, and this is effectively what dumbing in hypnosis is about.

That perspective raises some questions, I know. But I don't want to write about the answers just yet. Reread and consider that last paragraph a few times to make sure you've really processed it. Think about the questions it leaves you with, and come up with a few answers of your own if you can. You can post your thoughts in the comments or reblogs of this post, as I will be taking the time to read through them, and I'll continue this topic in future as I think more on it myself.

Later.

#hypnokink #hypnosis #jockification #dumbing down #jockout

[epickiya722]

I just talked with my friend who is a Gojo fan but anti Geto and anti stsg. When I asked her about Satosugu, do you know what she said : "Just because someone loves Gojo it does not mean that they must ship satosugu or they also loves Geto. Unfortunately, I would call gojo/geto as close to canon as a queer ship can get in shounen. But it does not have to always be canon right?" (She loves Gojo/Sukuna and Gojo/Yuji ships, even wrote fanfics about them). I don't know how to answer her, between want to laugh and cry at the same time 🤣😭😆

Well, yeah, no one is forced to ship SatoSugu but how can anyone not?

Their backstory? The banter? How they're designed? How they act around each other? Like, come on! Season 2's first opening and ending are literally SatoSugu songs!

"Unfortunately..." why she had to say it like it's the worst representation ever? 😭

Honestly, pulling the "it doesn't always have to be canon, right" card is like "It's not canon so you shouldn't ship". Both ways, it's just saying "This is a rule that you must follow because it makes me comfortable". It's a tactic, a way of setting a rule because that person feels that it's "their way". Shipping should be something fun. Not something people should dictate, come on.

No offense to your friend, I mean that. But it's just odd to me to be anti-Geto when Sukuna is just as bad... wait, no. Sukuna is a lot worse. Is she a fan of Sukuna?

Now I will say at least your friend being anti-Geto is (probably, I don't know) why she doesn't ship SatoSugu. Which is fair. Some people will like a ship but hate one of the characters and I don't see the point of that. If you don't like the character, then don't feel the need to have a ship for them??? If I hate a character or don't particularly care for them, I wouldn't pay attention to the ships for them. That's just me.

I have seen some shippers of another fandom like this ship of two characters where one is really grumpy and hot blooded and gets a lot of hate and the other is like the typical Shonen protagonist, but he's a side character and those people will only ship that ship because "he can change him" as it's only right that one character has the ability to change and train the other like he's a dog. Honestly, disrespectful to both characters.

Back to SatoSugu!

Okay, back to a previous point. The "it doesn't have to always be canon bit" also applies to shipping Gojo/Sukuna and Gojo/Yuji. Both ships have way less content, especially, in a romantic sense than SatoSugu. Neither is canon and some people would have problems with them.

The first one, I can see why people ship it because you know the whole "enemies to lovers" and the whole fight thing and "I enjoyed fighting you". But those would be problems for people who don't ship them. Some folks don't like enemies being shipped because they usually try to kill each other and that ship is no different. Their whole fight may have been enjoyable for them, but they both still had those intentions to kill each other.

There's also the whole case of Sukuna possessing Yuji and Megumi's bodies, both being minors, so yeah, uncomfortable. (It's why nowadays people who like the ship prefer to ship them when it's OG!Sukuna.)

Speaking of, that's the problem people would have with the latter ship. Not everyone is fond of teacher/student relationships especially when a minor is involved.

That reminds me of how once I said something along the lines of "if SatoSugu had a kid, Yuji is the result". Something like that, something like that. [I'll post the link to that here.]

I don't know whether to cry or laugh either, Anon, I'll be real. Like... there's just so much to unpack here...

#kiya answers #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers #satosugu #jjk manga spoilers

[marzipanandminutiae]

I'm asking because it's something I've been trying to figure out myself. Do you have any theories as to why there is such an overlap of TERFs and people convinced corsets are Evil? Why do these beliefs go toghter?

My guess would be that it’s because they define womanhood so much by suffering, that questioning anything they’ve been told was a mechanism of women’s suffering in the past feels like a threat to them. Even though obviously nobody who says ��corsets were not universal torture devices“ is saying “women weren’t oppressed during these specific eras.” It’s a threat to their idea of what the past looks like, especially womanhood in the past, and that puts them on the defensive.

They also often hate femininity at large, and the corset tends to be seen as a symbol thereof. Even though, you know… A lot of masc presenting women in the past also wore them, simply as support garments. and even some men, for back support and/or body-shaping.

And most historical costumers and dress historians who get a wide platform nowadays tends to be feminine-presenting. So TERFs see this as feminine women (traitors!) “defending” their favorite imagined symbol of patriarchal control over women’s bodies and gender presentation, and therefore go ballistic. Even though that’s not what’s happening

(Note: not everyone who expresses these views is a terf, of course. Pop culture in general still tends to believe that corsets are inherently evil, and thus it’s a very common mindset. And not even everyone who buys into the whole “historical costumers/fem dress historians are tradwives serving the patriarchy“ concept is a terf. But as you say, there is a pretty broad overlap in that latter category.)

It’s also interesting to me what their definition of defense is. A lot of them blow a gasket if you even say “the corset is a neutral garment that served practical functions for many women, and most women seem to have felt neutrally about it, though obviously some strongly liked or disliked it” or “ I and some people I know personally find corsets comfortable to wear,”and react like you just built an altar to sacrifice goats to a corset

#ask #anon #dress history #corsets #The simple fact is that women can be relatively comfortable and able to move in their clothes and still have no voice in their government #or rights to their personal property after marriage. Or likelihood of winning a custody battle #or admission to higher education. Or income equality. Or reproductive agency #The narrative the corsets were always awful and exclusively imposed on women by the patriarchy is just not factually true #and saying that is not claiming that they weren’t oppressed

[lawliet-ryuzaki-ryuga]

Chapter 7

Captain  (Levi Ackerman X reader)

WC: 2986

TW: a mention of the idea of SA ( nothing in detail is mentioned! Just a sense of what the characters feels and emotions) , mention of murder.

Two comrades; humanity’s Strongest and humanity’s Bravest. A bond between Two warriors who have nothing to lose.

Masterlist

Chapter 6-- Chapter 8

It has been over a month since the incident, time has passed, words never exchanged, and being all alone. Levi had been assigned captain and requested a private room with a bathroom for you. To which Erwin had no issue in making it happen. 

Nowadays you rarely ever see Levi, let alone interact with anyone. The first couple of days after the incident, your fellow friends tried to comfort you.. But you were no longer who you build yourself to be. You were back to being quiet.. reserved , alone.  You were once timid and now you’re just numb.

Levi since becoming captain has been flooded with work and meetings. Not having much time to see you, and even when he tried, you shut him out. He would attempt to drop off tea at your door, and like clockwork at 11 o’clock, you’d heard the small steps stop at your door with a tea cup placed on the floor. And you wait until you felt like he left before opening your door to drink the cold tea. 

Levi missed talking to you, he missed being.. heard, being listened to.

But tonight was different, today he stayed .. he waited… waited for you. You stood there with the door open, looking at the man who sat on the floor before you. Still in his uniform, and wearing his usual blank stare on his face. 

“Y/N, can we… can we talk? Actually no, we need to talk.”

You stare at him not sure what to do, you could go back into your room and close the door.. you could just continue to look at him, or you could agree to this talk,  And you decided to choose the latter. You grab the tea cup from the floor and walk across to where he sat against the wall, and sit besides him.

“Still not going to talk?” He asks, waiting for your response.. waiting for you, but you just stay silent like old times.

You hated silence but sometimes it’s all you knew. It’s all you knew when it came on how to cope, how to stay out of trouble… how to stay safe. Silence was something you grew to be comfortable with, even if it meant you wanted to scream at the top of a mountain about everything. Sometimes you had no choice.

“ you know I haven’t been able to talk to anyone? Ever since that day… I have nobody, not that it matters. But I went from talking to you to not even hearing your voice.. I’ve been taught to never regret things, but if there’s something I regret most, is telling you that I preferred when you spoke less. I never thought I’d actually miss hearing you speak.” 

You listen to his words as they fill the hallway, but it’s like nothing really mattered.. because all you could think about was his voice, his silk like voice that was strong yet soft, stern but gentle, confident but lost. 

“ Every night I hope that maybe you’d just even say ‘thank you’ just so I could hear your voice. But it was enough to see every morning that the cup was empty on the floor…. I- I’m sorry.”

When you heard the words “  I’m sorry” leave his mouth, you snapped your head in his direction. What could he be sorry about? He was there when he could be there when it happened, he was there when everyone gave up on trying to talk to you. He was there to bring you tea every night.. he’s always been there, why is he sorry?

“ I’m sorry, I wasn’t there… I know you handled it well and all but .. I should have been there. To see you— to see you the way you were that night… I failed you. Not just as a captain, your Comrade, but as… as— as a friend… You have always protected me, always had my back, I never once had to worry about my life being on the line when I’m with you. Yet, I failed you.”

You look at Levi, your heart breaking… your once dull eyes now softened at the sight of the man before you who held himself together. Not an ounce of weakness shedding through, but a ton of regret spilling out. 

“ The last time I was ever protected was by my mother… but she’s gone… she used to be a prostitute in the underground, and she would always protect me. I would see how men would treat her but she always protected me. ”

“His mother was a prostitute?” you think to yourself, wondering if you’ve ever seen her or knew her.

“ When I was a kid, a man once tried to attack my mother, I was too young to do anything. But even when she was the one who was hurt, she ran to me, to make sure I was safe… she always told me ‘ the strongest people are those who do the duties that their heart might well regret .. and the bravest were those who would make a deal with death to protect those they love.’ She was my bravest person I had ever known.. and you remind me of her”

At that you gasp at the words.. those words, her words.. Levi turns to you to see what was wrong and why your breathing pattern changed. It was like you were scared, confused.. 

You look at Levi from eye to eye, to his nose, lips. Small ears .. looking at every aspect you could possibly look at, and there she was. Her face in Levi’s , her delicate eyes in his, his defined cupid's bow just like her’s.  Every memory that you once thought were lost come rushing back. From the day you gave him some oatmeal, to when he’d wait for you every day to walk you back to what you called home. From protecting you from the other older kids, to you teaching him how to read and write. 

In your head all you could imagine was little you looking up at the boy next to you as he walked you back after a long day at work, as he held the Fresh bread you brought for the both of you to eat. You promised yourself to always protect this boy. Like he protected little you.

You think of when Kuchel would talk about her son, and how he was her little worrier. How she’d go home and leave you so that she could be with him. Your mind goes back to when you found out she had passed.. you promised to her that you’d always protect her son if you ever saw him.. just like she always protected you, she was the bravest in your eyes.. 

With a shaky breath and a small smile lifting the corner of your lips. You always keep promises .. always. 

“ I’ll always protect you Levi.”

Levi looks at you with his lips parting from shock. 

“I promised myself I would always protect you.. and I promised your mother I’ll protect you.”

“ Y/N, what are you on about, you never met my mother she passed when I w—“

“ kuchel, kuchel was your mother.. she was like mine too.. and you always protected me.. since you were younger,  from when you walked me back from the bakery.. to protecting me when other kids tried to hurt me.. you always protected me.”

Levi looks at you with a dumbfounded look, not sure what to say .. you knew his mother.. you were the little girl, the little girl who fed him, who taught him how to read and write. How did he not put the pieces together, your mannerisms, your handwriting, the way you spoke and didn’t speak… the way you made that meal, the way you always cleaned his wounds. 

“ I dont know how I didn’t know it was you.. I- you haven’t changed much since then and you look just like her.. “ you laugh to yourself, thinking about how he gave you a fake name back then. 

“ your mother would always protect me, when she passed I had nobody and that’s when it first happened, and ever since then I’ve always just done things on my own.. protected myself. And the best way when I was younger was to cut my hair and not speak.. if I never spoke,  no one would know it’s me.. no one would go after me.” You blabber on about your past and who you are. 

All that Levi could do was look at you in utter shock, you knew his mother.. you knew her, you knew her like he did. 

“ Levi.. your mother loved you so much, I hate to admit it but I was envious of you as a little girl. I had wished sometimes she’d love me like she loved you.” You laugh to yourself at the thought of being jealous of a kid you didn’t know at the time.

“ She would always say you were her Ray of sunshine. She would always sing to me a song before she left.. and I knew that song was about you. It went like ‘ you were the brightest—‘.”  You sing the  chorus.

“ you were the brightest Ray of sun I had ever seen.”  And then hearing Levi mutter at the same time the same lyrics to himself.

You give him a soft smile in return as he remembers his own memories. 

Levi hadn’t thought of his mother is forever, he had tried to completely forget about her. Forget the loving words she'd tell him, forget her warm and gentle touch, forget her soft lips that kissed his head goodnight. To forget the only woman he had ever loved, his mother. 

The ringing silence overtakes the both of you, all that could be heard were the small sips from the cups. And the occasional deep breaths in and exhales.

“ Levi.. do you have a picture of her?” You ask the quiet man besides you. 

“ no I don’t.”

You nod your head and get up from your spot besides him, he looks at your sudden movement and his eyes follow your frame into your room. The sound of drawers opening and shuffling can be heard. A few moment later you walk back with what looks like a photograph in your hand. 

“ here.. it belongs to you more than it does me.” You hand him the flimsy piece of paper that holds the beautiful angel. With hesitant hands he reaches out and grabs the edge of the photograph. 

His once hard eyes that hold no emotions soften.. there she was, So alive and beautiful in the picture, a smile took over her face, eyes so bright that you’d think that the bright moon were her eyes. This is how Levi remembered his mother, the beautiful mother who loved him, who was strong, who protected him, who fed him, sang to him. Not the woman that was frail in her bed, not the woman who could barely get up, not the woman he watched leave him. 

“ where.. where did you get this?”

“ when she never came back I went to her room in the prostitution home.. she’d let me sleep in her room to protect me from bad men, but when she never came back I stayed in her room, and found it in her drawer…it was the only thing I had left of her, when I felt alone or unsafe I’d talk to her picture.. and put it under my pillow like she was protecting me. But it’s yours, she was your mother not mine.”

Levi turns the photograph over and reads over the faded writing in the back that read “ Kuchel on her 19th birthday.”

“ She was your mother too, so no I will not take it. You can have it back.” He hands the photograph back to you, not wanting to look at the picture any longer. Why did she have to leave him.. why?

“ She's done her job, I’m no longer scared, she taught me what I needed and has been there for me when I needed it.. it’s your turn now.” You push the photograph gently back to him. 

With a strong grip Levi held the picture close to his chest. “ Do you know how she passed?”

“ no.. all I know is she never came back.”

“ she was sick… she died by some unknown disease. I was alone too, she left me alone. Well that was until my uncle came along, but he didn’t stay long after.. left me too.. and then so did you.”

“ I didn’t have a choice.”

“ we all have a choice.. one day i never saw you again, you chose to leave me.”

“ I was taken.”

“ Taken? Taken where?”

“ Some people from where your mother worked always looked for me.. I had done something and they were always looking for me.” 

“ What did you do, kill someone?” He laughs to himself.

“ Yes, i did.”

The pin drop of a needle could be heard by the silence that engulfed the room. The aura of the hallway falling dull. You killed someone before, a month ago wasn’t the first..

“ why?” Levi asks.

Such a small question with such a heavy answer. No matter how many times you tried to block out your past, it rests heavy on your shoulders and their blood stains your hands. But did you have a choice? was it wrong of you for what you did, or was it wrong for what they tried to do to you.

“ the same reason why men probably attacked your mother and the same reason I got rid of Conner.”

“ but you were so young why would-.” Levi tries to comprehend your words.

“Because Levi, they don’t care, no one cares if you’re a little girl! If you’re a mother, a sister, a daughter, a child… a baby. They do not care, they don’t care..” you begin to sob to yourself.

They don’t care.. they don’t care. Monsters.. disgusting monsters.

“ I think you should go to bed Y/N, I’m sorry I asked.. I didn’t mean for you to re-live those memories. Here let me help you up.” He stands from where he sat besides your and extends his hand out for you to grab. With a shaky hand you grab his and pull yourself up from the ground.

“ I’ll go to bed, let me just go wash these cups” you lean down to grab the cups that were once filled with tea, but he takes them before you could .

“ I’ll do them, you should sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“ it’s fine I can do them, you made the tea so I c—.”

“ Y/N I think I made myself clear.” Levi turns down the hallway towards where the kitchen would be. You turn and enter your room, but before you can close the door and give your last glance to where Levi walked. He calls out to you.

“ Y/n, you don’t need to worry about your protection.. leave that to me, see you tomorrow.”

With that he walks away and disappears behind the corner pillar and you retreat fully back into your room.

Leave it to him.. could you leave it all in his hands, no, don’t be stupid.

Soon after your in your bed falling slowly into a night of slumber. Safe in your room, safe in your bed and safe under your blankets… but deep down you also knew you were safe under His protection.

A/N: I HOPE YALL ARE ENJOYING THE CHAPTERS! I SWEAR YALL LITERALLY MAKE ME SO HAPPY WHEN I SEE EVEN JUST ONE OF YOU FINDING MY WRITING DECENT! I genuinely love these characters so much and it’s so hard to not just have them all LOVEY DOVEY NOW! ( BECAUSE THEY BOTH NEED IT :’((( cry ) But lol I have to remind myself that they are regular people who need time to get to know one another on a deeper level!! Also sorry for the typos! Felt so bad not giving y’all an update sooner! But I’ll definitely be going back to correct some things! Love you my comrades!

tag list : @thfloating @ajmiila02 @inurmom00 @awesomeness1679 @the-loneliest-girl

#levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x y/n smut #levi ackerman x female reader #levi x y/n #levi aot #levi headcanons #levi x reader #levi attack on titan #levi x oc #levi ackerman headcanons #levi ackerman imagine #levi ackerman attack on titan #levi ackerman fic #levi ackerman aot #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman angst #levi #anime #aot x you

[laf-outloud]

https://www.tumblr.com/laf-outloud/719599290829389824

Jensen Ackles seems too forced when he does anger, too obvious when peeved, too heavy with sarcasm. What kind of acting is that? Maybe it is that it is acting. I don't get the sense that there is anything beneath the surface to explore. He plays a part, rather than becomes the character. I believe the acting Jensen does is considered over-acting without any consideration for the character... it does seem very one-note, at least from what I've seen since SPN. I know he can do better, as even his Dean from early seasons of SPN had a layer of nuance that can only happen by truly understanding the character and his motivations... Unfortunately, the long stretch of SPN either made him lazy or forgetful when it comes to crafting characters and stories.

He's very histrionic when he acts, and it started in the later half of spn. He played Dean so much more nuanced and layered in the early seasons, and more subtle - although Dean as a character was never really "subtle" and that's ok because that's who the character was and it worked for him. As the seasons went on he seemed to get too comfortable and then when the writing took a nosedive, instead of trying to work with the script and still make Dean recognizable as the character we knew, he just went with the script as is and overdid it.

He got comfortable and therefore complacent. He never worked on his craft because he knew he had reliable steady employment for the foreseeable future. Then when spn was coming to an end I think he thought the popularity he found as Dean was going to continue on and he was just going to get offered roles so again, he didn't put any work in (outside of the awful s15 audition reel he tried to work into the show). And now we see where that has gotten him. If he wasn't conventionally good looking and as charismatic as he is, I don't think he would be getting the jobs he's gotten since spn - and he even got all of those by working his connections, but those are going to dry up or move to other positions where they can't help him anymore sooner or later.

I say this all the time when I see his acting nowadays (I watch TB and saw clips from both BS and BG2 online) - when I watch Jensen act I feel like I am watching him think through what he is about to do the second before he does it. I don't see the character, I see Jensen acting (I feel like I am literally watching him do the job rather than play the part). And even then its all mostly just different versions of Dean (which is funny because he seems to have forgotten how to play Dean...).

You're not the first to mention all this, and I doubt the last. I completely agree about the lack of care he took with Dean in the latter seasons of SPN. I think the only times I saw him return to early-seasons Dean were when he was acting against Sam Smith and JDM (and occasionally Jared, though I think he let Jared do most of the heavy lifting when they had emotional scenes).With everyone else, it was just business as usual.

And since then? It's just as you said: "I feel like I am literally watching him do the job rather than play the part." I get the feeling that Jensen also sees these roles as jobs and not an art form, which is why the work he puts into them is so lackluster. The problem is, while putting in the minimum amount of work in other industries can be hidden from future employers, that's not the case with the entertainment industry, where everyone can see how much or how little you care about the "job."

#ask box #anti jensen #jensen's acting

[shiroganeryo]

I don't know if you've answered this before but what do you predict will be the ending for DGrayman? I think we all think that Kanda (my boy's got literal death flags everywhere) and Allen will die, but what about everyone else? How will the world be saved?

I really apologize for taking so long to get to this ask, but I've been actually thinking the matter over and over. My answer is probably a little off the chart regarding to the actual question, but this is all I can muster with the current information we have (up to chapter 250). This will be a tad long but I'll try to keep it brief.

But the thing is: it's impossible for me to make a prediction. The beauty in Hoshino's writing is that, while she scatters little details for us to catch and plants seeds very early on, helping us find out certain reveals ahead of time (Allen being the 14th's host, Mana being the Earl; there were very early signs for things like these, things of the sort), knowing such information still isn't enough to give us a definite outline of how the story itself will play out.

That's masterfully done writing right there, and I admire her so because of it; not many shounen/seinen mangaka nowadays can pull this off with the same grace as she does.

Back to your question, much like the majority of the fandom, I believe Kanda will die at the end and there are two reasons for that: one is that it's been hinted at (we could even call it foreshadowing) since Kanda claims he wouldn't be able to die in peace without returning the favor to Allen - not to say he means anything other than "one day I'll die and then I'd take this regret with me to the grave", but we can only get the feeling he has dwelled on the thought (and also possibility) of dying, sooner than expected, especially with the weakened state of his seal.

The other reason is that this would be the most gratifying ending for Kanda, as he would be able to reunite with Alma. He lived his entire life searching for that person and longing to reunite, so that would be the most logical route to take - as well as the best, happiest ending possible for Kanda. After all the horrors the Seconds went through, they both deserve eternal peace.

As for Allen... call me crazy, but I believe there is a chance, albeit slim, that he makes it out alive. I'll need to bring up some things from Chapter 250 to be able to elaborate on this, so here's your warning not to click the Read More if you're avoiding spoilers.

One thing I've observed is that Hoshino plays a lot on word meanings (which unfortunately translation can't convey efficiently) as well as red herrings. Ever since we found out Allen's the 14th's host, he's been considered doomed to get erased so we're playing a clock-ticking game, waiting until that happens.

So it seems that there are only two possibilities: that Allen either gets erased by Nea, or that he dies, sacrificing himself for everyone's sake in the ensuing battle against the Earl that is possibly bound to happen. I can easily picture Allen doing the latter, but the latest chapters gave us something else to consider: Apocryphos' meddling.

We still don't know the full details as to why, but Allen is both deemed as an angel as well as a lamb of sacrifice to the Heart. Something makes me think Apocryphos might be trying to 'craft' the perfect host for the Heart by making use of Allen.

It just aligns with everything we know about Apocryphos as an entity: for someone that is a sentient Innocence whose existence gravitates around the sole purpose of protecting the Heart, why is it so obsessed with a specific accommodator, to the point it even quite literally turned Allen into a blank slate (Nea has confirmed so)?

I'm led to believe Allen is not the Heart, that would be far too easy and predictable. But that's not to say he can't become the Heart. We don't know if the Heart is sentient (all Innocence seem to have sentience to an extent regardless) or if it has an accommodator, and if there is one, if this person isn't out there waiting for the perfect candidate to pass the Heart on to.

This is all just speculation, of course. But it's something that's been on my mind for a while, as I've tried to understand Apocryphos' end goal.

And in the end, if Allen and Nea have become allies due to their shared goal (ending the war and saving Mana), that could also mean that they both die together, as that would be the reunion of Mana and Nea as one, as well as the reunion of Allen with the Mana he so loved.

But then comes in another valuable variable that is Link. It's highly likely that he might sacrifice himself and bring Allen back if he falls, but because of how Atuuda works, that would mean exchanging his own life for Allen's.

There are just a lot of things that could go either way, and that's how Hoshino is so good at keeping us guessing. I often say that I find theorizing anything that goes too far into the future of DGM to be pointless because of how sharply a new, unseen reveal might shift the current scenario.

The latest chapter is building up the expectation that Allen will meet his end soon, especially since the Zoogle Bookstore entered the picture. And that is exactly what's keeping me from being able to predict anything worthy of note; because what they unravel there will very likely be a major game changer not only to Allen but to all involved - which means, by extension, everyone involved in the Holy War.

Another thing keeping me from theorizing anything more solid is Lavi. As a Bookman, he's a witness to history itself, and his whereabouts/status are extremely relevant to map out an end game. The most popular theory is that he's the one telling Allen's story, as it seems the D. in the title refers to "Dear Gray Man".

I can, however, also see Allen as the potential narrator of this story. As for whomst this Gray Man is, only time will tell.

I could go on and on with this, and not get anywhere near what'll truly happen. It's difficult to reach a conclusion in what will happen at the very end for the aforementioned reasons, but if there's one thing I can say, is that this current universe's loop will be the one to end the Holy War, so the Black Order and the Clan of Noah should cease existing as organizations.

Innocence would very likely cease existing as well, having fulfilled its purpose, so all accommodators would be freed. With the end of the war, also comes peace for the Memory of Noah, freeing its hosts from the millenia-old anguish that bound them to a perpetually-destroying world. That would leave the remaining survivors free to do as they please with their lives, away from the war, at last.

First and foremost, DGM is a story about love and hope, even in the darkest of times, and most fans can resonate with such - it's not rare to hear from a fan how this series has helped them hang on when things were looking rather dim in their personal lives. DGM's story is a tragedy, but a beautiful, bittersweet one, just like real life. Thus while I don't see it having a perfect, neatly sanitized ending, I don't see it having a kind of overly dramatic 'everyone dies and the planet explodes' kind of ending either. It would go against everything Hoshino has built all along, after all.

I apologize if, in the end, this wasn't the kind of answer you were hoping for, especially with how long it got - and I did keep it brief, really! But thanks to you and whoever may be reading until here. ❤️

#there are a lot of scattered thoughts here but I hope it's a good enough answer #or at the very least something enjoyable enough to read #I'm looking forward to the next chapter next month #ask #DGM #spoilers warning if you're not up to date with the series! #sorry if there are typos and etc I'm especially tired today but I haven't been having much free time lately to reply when I'm more rested

[gnometa233]

"Why is everyone all up in arms about incest and pedophilia being glorified in media and not violence and blood and gore???" THEY FUCKING ARE!!!! It's just not here on tumblr and is in the mainstream. Do yall not remember in the early 2000's when there was a legitimate thought that violence in video games causes kids to become violent?? Because I sure do! Do yall not remember the outcry of mom's when it came to violent movies with guns, especially right after columbine/sandy hook? I damn well remember the latter!

And even then, it's not that more violence = more likely to commit violent crimes. It's that more violence = a desensitization to violent crime. And hell, the news and the media played way more of a part in desensitizing kids to violence and dare I say, encouraging it! You could also make an argument that killing, while bad, can be justifiable in certain instances of stopping fascism or self defense*. When is the romanticization incest and pedophilia justifiable?

Especially nowadays, violence is rarely glorified and a saught out solution in media. It's always a last resort, or something that scars the characters, or what have you. There's an uptick in mainstream pacifist characters and explorations of PTSD and characters who don't wish to cause harm.

There is plenty of shows and movies and comics that explore these "taboo" topics with care, but the average fanfiction writer, in my experience, just cares about getting their sick kicks. Stop pretending you aren't

*there is a discussion to be had about how mainstream video games portray violence against certain marginalized groups, most predominantly people of color. I am not a person of color, and there are incredibly well thought out takes on this topic.

#media criticism #fanfiction critical #fandom discourse

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

"We do want Buddie to be canon, nonny, and in my opinion we are going to get it. All this recent PR supports that, (again: in my opinion)"

Can you go into this if you don't mind, honestly I think Ryan at the premiere all but confirmed it and even now he says so much without saying anything at all. His expressions give away so much lol. He has a terrible poker face. But i would love to hear your thoughts on this if possible.

I'm gonna be honest nonny you really answered your own question there: Ryan's behavior and the fact that they're continuing to let him do press.

As I discussed previously, it's very difficult to promote a couple of characters that fandom ships without falling into queerbaiting. Because of this it would be the smart thing for ABC to keep Ryan and Oliver separate, disallow Buddie or Buddie-related questions, and so on.

Instead they are allowing Ryan to do press, Ryan to do press with Oliver, and are allowing these questions while trusting Oliver and Ryan (on a leash) to handle them. Now, part of it is probably the Barbra Streisand effect i.e. the more attempts you make to hide something the more people notice the very thing you don't want them to notice, but given the sheer AMOUNT that Buck and Eddie's relationship has been put front and center and the fact that Oliver and Ryan have been doing all these interviews together, I am hopeful and see that as a positive sign for Buddie because I trust ABC not to want to shit the bed by being accused of queerbaiting.

I think also as I've mentioned in another ask I answered a week or so ago, Ryan being in PR jail was a joke for a reason. Now, please note, EVERYONE except Oliver was pushed to the side in PR by FOX. FOX seriously pushed Oliver to do all the promo and be the "face" of the show, something nobody in the cast appreciated (including Oliver). So Ryan not doing interviews nearly as much was, in part, this issue by FOX.

However, Ryan also historically is... bad at keeping his mouth shut. He never quite spills the beans but he tends to throw his personal opinion out and hint/tease at stuff he shouldn't be hinting/teasing at. He likes to be goofy, to tease fans, to have fun. Which not only gives public relations managers migraines and anxiety, but in the case of a queer ship can land the show in trouble if Ryan's saying stuff that fans think is hinting at Buddie and then Buddie doesn't happen.

As we have all seen, the second they let Ryan open his mouth on live camera, his cute tipsy little puppy face word vomited all over the carpet. I suspect the fear of god was put into Oliver that it was his job to Make Ryan Behave.

Now, there are actors who have ignored this and enjoyed teasing about a ship anyway and the network has let them because they only cared about getting people to watch the show, they didn't care about being respectful or not. But nowadays that's not something you can get away with and most networks understand they'll get a lot of backlash that's just not worth it. AND most actors understand that even if they personally want a ship to happen, it's only going to hurt the feelings of fans if they (the actor) try to hint at it and then it doesn't happen.

It's more often that an actor will later say after the fact "yeah I would've liked it if X happened, but the writers chose to go in a different direction." Past-tense. They have a lot more freedom to speak on past things than on present storylines or possible future ones.

ABC is taking a risk in letting Ryan do all these video interviews, and to do video interviews with Oliver because the second those two are doing anything together everyone assumes it hints at Buddie. The latter, that's not really on ABC so much as on the fans, but either way, the solution is to keep 'em separate and keep Ryan locked up. Instead, they're allowing the actors to do things they know will get fans excited over Buddie, without crossing any lines into disrespect.

#mads answers things #911 spec #I guess? #I appreciate people wanting my opinions and to elaborate on stuff #but I'm really not sure what else/more there is to say #please remember to search my ask tag on my blog #in case I have already explained everything about your question(s) in previous asks #honestly the tl;dr of this ask is 'yeah nonny you answered your own question' #but I am aware there are new people in the fandom #and so I want to try and explain how PR works and what actors are and are not allowed to do #to sketch out a picture of how Ryan's behavior is risky for the PR team #and why it's making us all excited

[sivavakkiyar]

why ARE people so into leitmotifs now? I know you say it because of Toby Fox but they’ve been around forever and it’s like a particular fixation for a lot now

so I’ve got two ideas about this—-the first might sound dismissive but I don’t mean it that way, and the second might be wishful thinking which I don’t mind in reasonable doses. The kind of general assumption if we’re thinking about the same stuff here is that of course leitmotifs have been employed forever, but as they’re kind of demanded or expected nowadays they are almost verbatim reappearances of direct melody: I don’t think most people are thinking of like a Berg leitmotif, where it’s a direct reappearance but might not be immediately recognizable w/o the score.

1) Leitmotifs are an aspect of composed music that can most easily be ‘read’ in a way analogous to narrative reading, which is what’s popular in fandom (hence, generally). A leitmotif can be associated with a character, a place, sometimes a theme, and one can primarily understand and read their appearance as indicative of a direct message or as a call to reflect on various interrelations. Music is otherwise difficult to ‘read’, and many people believe that ‘reading’ is either inappropriate to music or requires intense theoretical knowledge.

2) this is the romantic one, which springboards off the latter…despite the widespread belief in pure primacy, I think more people actually *enjoy* engaging with music structurally, ‘intellectually’, ‘the craft’ etc than maybe many people might admit or want to. A leitmotif in this form immediately viscerally draws one’s attention to this things, and doesn’t require high amounts of theoretical knowledge: everyone knows by experience that you can’t just sing two melodies at once and have it magically work out, that it requires planning, presentation, etc. Hence a leitmotif is a kind of flex for composers, and is a kind of mark of that investment that you can kind of trust people ‘untrained in music’ to either notice or at least *appreciate* when it’s pointed out. As usual, there’s a kind of intimacy there that’s appealing and desired in a lot of musical relationships

#silistens #sorry long answer #I guess I haven’t actually verified Fox’s significance in the new fixation on them but it seems obvious to me #tbh they aren’t as prevalent as you might expect in game composition prior to his work with notable exceptions

[dojae-huh]

Hello! Just want to say again that I'm glad I found your blog, your down-to-earth commentary, especially about the business side of it all, is very much appreciated :)

Hi. Thank you for letting me know, I'm glad you find some more down to earth posts useful. In part, I run this blog to offer an alternative in fandom experience.

Thing is, we, as k-pop fans and as people who don't work in showbusiness or South Korea, don't have enough knowledge, experience or inside information to have a strong educated opinion on most of things when it comes to idol companies and their executives. We can have opinions as customers - I like this music, this promotional strategy works on me, these outfits are ugly, this concept rocks -, but not as business analytics. Especially considering how much media play, false information and difference in cultures we face.

However, nowadays everyone has the illusion that they know better, that their opinion and feelings are valid when it comes to any topic. And spread and defend their opinion like it is the ultimate truth.

I've recently come across a twit starting with "it appears that" and ending with "for sure". In a span of a few sentences the fan offered an imaginary scenario and finished with a "this is truth". Of course to "prove" that SM is evil, heh. Such baseless statements easily play on fans' love for their biases, evoke an emotional response, call to arms, they give an answer to "Who is to blame?!", provide a target for unleashing frustration and anger.

When one solo-stan blames our bias, we can call bullshit because we know how things really are. When a fan blames Chris Lee or SM, other fans are ready to accept the words as believeable. Either because they share the sentiment, or have no own opinion on the matter, so any will do. If everyone around says the same thing, it should be true, afterall? That's how our brains are wired: follow the majority, agree with the tribe, mirror everyone's current emotion.

We can't see the inner works and we don't know the inner rules, but we can see the results of labour and sometimes a reflection of things.

When I came to k-pop, I knew SM as the company that overworks its artists, has lawsuits with them, is super strict. Broken in two halves TVXQ and EXO with half of its members gone weren't a good representation. So when I started to get to know NCT better, I started to wonder if I was lied to or that something had changed in SM (the latter). Neos were taught how to songwrite, SM persisted with good quality music for NCT despite the group not taking off right away, artists not looking slavelike, there was SMstation and interesting projects.

Sure, I can observe bad work: poorly prepared concerts (Link), constant failures with album production (omitting Doyoung's name, boring designs for 127), tasteless stylists, etc. However, I also see good work: artists flying first/business class and living in 5 star hotels, being given opportunity to go to the beach, museums, to enjoy sightseeing in new countries; opportunity to explore one's creativity (soundcloud, NCTLabs, solo performances for Link); SM giving artists second professions (MC, variety host, model) that will aid professional longevity (Doyoung hasn't finished school and doesn't have a degree, but I'm not worried for him, even if SM collapses, he'll always find a job. Same for Taeyong, he came as a blank page, now he is a songwriter and a producer, he can even become a choreographer); neos progressively being given more choice and say, their opinion being consulted and their ideas being implemented once they gain enough experience (Golden Dust story, Taeyong making his own setlist for his concert, Doyoung saying Unity should not have solo-stages, Ten choosing the mood and genre for his solo, etc).

Most importantly, I can see many friendships between neos and producers/managers, and that Haechan and Doyoung, who experienced all of SM's downsides personally and not once, continue to like the company. Meaning, the good should outweight the bad. At least for now.

Fans learnt the name of Chris Lee and continue to blame him for everything to this day, although he doesn't own any shares in SM and has stopped being a CEO a year ago. He is a token scapegoat.

Should I blindly trust fans or should I go read Wikipedia, interviews and listen to the guy himself? In situations like these I always choose the latter.

Sure, I can't tell if he evades taxes or participates in shady business, and what neos think of him (aside from Doyoung calling him "hyung" in public and not being afraid of getting punished for it), but I can see he was the person who overlooked all the early NCT songs (we have "Limitless", "Cherry bomb" thanks to him); created SMStation and SMClassics (say thank you for "Try again", "Star blossom"); found Dem Jointz ("Kick it", "Punch", "Sticker") and multiple other songwriters who now work for SM; brought to Korea the idea of songwriting camps, in which Kun participates nowadays and where he befriends foreign creators; invested SM money into a publishing company (and not a winery or a hotel business), which means SM artists will be secured to have a lot of songs to choose from in the future, and Korean young producers will have access to the global market. He has been with SM close to 20 years, and he is evidently a music nerd, ergo he understands artists and their love for music. So why should I hate him? I have no proof of him taking money away from neos, but I have evidence he was very essential to formation of NCT and the quality of SM sound being maintained. On the contrary, I'm inclined to suspect the quality of albums (song setlist, production) is raising again because he is back to supervising A&R in SM.

#ask me away #food all around chips all around #notes in the margins #chain reaction

[skaruresonic]

I don't really think seniority matters as much as the willingness to research and play the games. I'm not sure if I feel comfortable calling myself a "veteran" fan, because while I technically have played a lot of Sonic games, my knowledge base doesn't feel comprehensive enough outside of the general range of the early Adventure games to warrant discussion. Can't talk about TSR or Riders, for instance, because racing games bore me and so I never finished them. Or '06, which I refuse to finish on the basis of it being an utter soul-suck of a game. I've been a Sonic fan since 2002, though sometimes I forget that fact because I go through "gap years" in which I feel distant from the series for some reason or another. Back in 2006-2010 it was the inability to play new releases because broke. In 2014, it was Boom, which everyone was sort of... weird... about. Nowadays it's the alienation I feel for the utter hype surrounding IDW, Prime, and Frontiers. This ride is for life, but it's not always a smooth one.

In addition, real life needs attending to, my knowledge of the games tends to become hazy and vague after a while, and I don't necessarily have the time to play and refresh my memory. There are also details about the games that I've overlooked the first time around, such as the fact that Sonic and Shahra both call the antagonist "the" Erazor Djinn multiple times throughout SatSR, implying his name is a title, as opposed to fandom which simply refers to him as "Erazor Djinn," implying it is a name.

I've been in the privileged position of growing up with my preferred era of games. During my childhood, a new Sonic game would come out roughly every year. These days it's harder to access that era of games because some of them, like Shuffle or Battle, are abandonware.

While these roadblocks are real and valid, on the other hand... In this age of having practically any information you want to know available at your fingertips, it's no excuse to just Say Whatever you want about those games. There's the inability to access the game, and then there's the refusal to meet it halfway. Far too often you encounter the latter over the former.

Certainly, I won't pretend to know about every single Sonic game there is. That's why I don't talk about them. I talk instead about the handful of games I do know about. Hopefully, I might say something interesting about them every once in a while. hello yes can I gush about those semi-transparent reflections in SA2 DC I promise I'm normal about it

The other day @woodchipp and I were talking about how modern fandom seems to base their impressions of a game on "vibes" rather than playing the games for themselves. This is how you get wild takes divorced from reality, when folks value aesthetics over accuracy. In any case, my stance has always been that you don't necessarily have to know every single little detail about any given game; you just need to know what you're talking about in a general overarching sense. I'll know you haven't played the game when you neglect basic, unmissable plot points.

For example: "Tails found Emerl on the beach in Battle" tells me you haven't played Battle, because Sonic finding Emerl on the beach is what kickstarts the entire game. "SA2 never shows us where Shadow stole the Chaos Emerald from" tells me you haven't played SA2, because the game specifies that detail twice - once in recap, once during a cutscene - and you would have known that had you been paying attention.

[my-random-shit-blog]

Queer Cornley headcanons are making their rounds in the discord again (/pos) so here's mine in depth!

Annie

Pronouns: she/they

Orientation & gender identity: Sapphic nonbinary

- I feel like Annie identifies with being a woman but not strictly a woman. Sometimes their gender feels less binary or sometimes they just feel like they don't have one. It fluctuates for her. As for her sexuality, she just loves women. The reason I don't see her as a lesbian though is because I feel like she can be attracted to men, but it's more of a shallow, purely physical, attraction.

Sandra

Pronouns: she/her

Orientation & gender identity: Bisexual, cis woman

Not much to say about this one, it's just obvious and that's okay lmaoo

Jonathon

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation & gender identity: unlabeled, cis man

Everyone assumes Jonathan is the only cishet in Cornley, and he understands why. He's straight passing and most of his relationships and sexual endeavors have been with women, but he's not not attracted to other genders. He's just kind of into anybody who's into him and prefers not to tie himself to a specific label. Since it wasn't something he explicitly ever made known, the rest of Cornley found out about it when they went to a party together and him and another man were making out in the kitchen and half of the group walked in on it.

Chris

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation & gender identity: bisexual, cis man

Chris struggled a lot with his sexuality in his youth but when he went to uni, he slowly started to become okay with his bi-ness and let himself explore. Nowadays he's very casual and comfortable about his orientation.

Robert

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation & gender identity: a fucking gay mess, cis man

Robert is mlm, he's felt attraction for men for as long as he can remember. He knows this, but it's a big point of discomfort for him due to experiences in his childhood. He's fine with anybody else being queer but when it comes to himself, he's got major internalized homophobia. It does not help that the long-term subject of his attraction is one Chris Bean. He hates the complicated way he feels about Chris. He equally wants to punch Chris in the face as much as he wants to kiss him within an inch of his life. There is a part of him that is genuinely attracted to women, but only in specific circumstances. One of the main reasons Denise left him is because she figured this out, he never really loved her like that. He loved her in other ways though, but the reason that her leaving him affects him so much, is because she was a protective blanket and a comfortable lie. With her out of the picture, the parts of him he was desperately trying to repress are more persistent.

Max

Pronouns: he/him/any

Orientation & gender identity: pansexual, cis(ish) man

Max just loves people, but mostly his sexuality is; Sandra. He's just so madly in love with her. Though, I do think they would have a more open relationship, in terms of physically anyways. Max and Sandra are each other's #1's but they are alright with the other kissing, having hook ups, or other things, with other people; they also will include others in their ~spicy times~

Vanessa

Pronouns: she/her

Orientation & gender identity: lesbian, cis woman

I also don't really have much to add to this, but to me she'd be the epitome of a Useless Lesbian™️ (/aff) Vanessa is madly pining for Annie and vise versa.

"I just think that women." - Vanessa at least once a day

Trevor

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation & gender identity: queer, binary trans man

As a certified trans man*, Trevor is a fucking trans man lmaoo. Just like, look at him. For his orientation, I was torn between gay and queer but ultimately decided on the latter cuz I can just see him working in a lot of different dynamics

Dennis

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation & gender identity: panromantic asexual, cis man

Personally, I just can't see Dennis as allosexual, but romantically, I think he'd be open to all genders

#the goes wrong show #annie twilloil #sandra wilkinson #jonathan harris #chris bean #robert grove #max bennett #vanessa wilcock wynn carroway #trevor watson #dennis tyde #the cornley drama society #tcpds #grovebean #mischief theatre #cornley polytechnic drama society

[greshricci]

Out of the Darkness, Into the Sun

I am one of very few kids in Prodigium that can say I enjoy going to school, and mean it fully. Now, that’s not to say I’m in love with modern school systems, in fact I sort of hate them, but what I appreciate more than anything else is the fact that school is a place where I am a normal kid again. For as much respect and adoration I show for Dad, I acknowledge the fact that I live a very abnormal life to say the least. School for me is a place where I don’t need to live up to something, where I can just be me and only get a little made fun of.

My first days going to school when the school in Hometown was opened were not quite as enjoyable as today. Back then I was far more timid, far less confident in myself, but even still it got me away from my neglectful biological parents and closer to the people I felt actually cared about me. A part of me sort of ties school with this idea of a heaven or sanctuary. It’s not perfect, mind you. There’s plenty of jock-ish bullies and pencil pusher stuck ups that dampen the social experience substantially, but the former and latter have become less of a problem as I’ve lived more with Crow. Word travels fast around a small school like this. Kids quickly learn not to make death’s adopted kid into an enemy.

There is a very noticeable tinge of tension, though. When we come back from winter break or something, everyone tells all these fun, lighthearted stories that bring the mood up. I keep my mouth shut because a lot of my free time involves breaking the law, helping Dad dispose of bodies, and physically training to one day become a gang leader. Other kids know this, especially my friends, so when I silently just gesture like there was nothing that happened, everyone can sort of fill in the gaps. Like, I’ll take the awkward silence and glances from others whenever I do this, because frankly I will never just proclaim in a cheery voice, “Oh yeah! My dad and I murdered rival gang members! Isn’t that just fun?!”

Speaking of tension, though, I feel like something’s building up in my friend group nowadays. More hushed whispers when I’m not around, more sidebars to discuss mental health as a group, slightly less frequent meetups. I don’t want to ask them all directly, but I feel like I’m causing this. I’m on the out of something important, and that makes me think whatever’s so important is about me. Xav’s been showing up in my mind when I sleep less, Tiris and I talk about writing and storytelling less, hells, even Asriel’s miraculously started bothering me less with moral appeals. I’m slowly drifting away …

I stand on the edge of a cliff into loneliness, and right now, I’m starting to feel a hand on my shoulder, just inches away from pushing me off.

I hope I’ll at least make an entertaining splat on the ground when I inevitably plummet.

G’resh Ricci.

(Undertale-Ish is owned by @petra-creat0r, Crow Ricci is owned by @garbagemanblue)

#undertale au #undertale ish #writing

[shiroselia]

Fair Warning: This post is very rambly. Super fucking long. And has a bunch of paragraphs about topics that to be quite frank deserve their own post. This is me TLDRing like 7 different essays because I have a lot to say and can't shut the fuck up but this is despite it all still a tumblr post.

The fact that SSO exists at all in the year 2023 is not an achievement in and of itself.

That's the TLDR to this post I'm about to write because that's basically what I think, but there is a longer discussion to have here. And I think it's a discussion worth having because despite it all we still live in a world where gender makes people irrationally fucking mad, and so therefore here I am to talk shit about a horse game which I have called mediocre all day.

Well, if you don't want to read this entire thing, here's all you need to know:

If Animal Crossing in the year of 2020 can define the first year of the pandemic for basically half the internet, then SSE can optimise their game a little better in the year 2023.

And here's wonderwall: (But before wonderwall, obvious disclaimer that I'm just one cis not-het woman Swede who has opinions about things, I'm not going to solve centuries of oppression on my fucking tumblr dashboard. Neither are SSE gonna solve it, nor immortalise it, with their mediocre MMO, we all know this we are smart, let's go.)

To SSO's credit, I think it's nice that SSE has wholly embraced the fact that they are a very feminine game primarily played by and targeted towards young girls, despite it all we still need more of that, and it's cool that they're trying the most. (Just wish they wouldn't completely throw their especially above average transmasc audience under the bus for  this but that is genuinely not my post to make as I am not transmasc and this post isn't about that, but all I'm saying is that SSE aren't flawless and I was here for both 2011 and 2022 so I happen to know when they literally lie about why this game was created in the first place.)

However,

There is a difference between "We want to bring quality to this audience which usually doesn't get quality" and "Because we're the only ones targeting this audience we don't need to worry about quality". Settling for the latter, especially today, isn't actually that progressive nor is it helping anyone, especially if we're talking about the game's general quality.

So, I know that talking about like, what is a "good" game or whatever will always be a wall to wall conversation, because everyone has different ideas of what good means. (see: Some people going "I enjoy this so it's good" and some going "I enjoy this but it Isn't good" at Dorian's poll) This isn't a problem at all it's simply how the human experience works. However, if we're talking about the good as in "objective" quality, then I think we need to remember something.

It's not 2011 anymore, and being a girls game, standalone, isn't an achievement anymore. We expect some fucking effort by now.

We don't live in a world where you as an 8 year old kid have to pick between playing COD or playing SSO exclusively (a choice made in 2011 by me as an 8 year old for reference, I literally was there, don't worry). We have a lot wider a selection of games to choose from, and we live in an industry which has also gotten a Lot better at actually celebrating less traditionally masculine games.

For example, Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley, to name two examples, would probably be pretty dismissed in 2011, had they released then, because they're games that in general are seen as more feminine. (Slower, cute aesthetics, about farming, has cute little guys in them in AC's case.) But nowadays, they're some of the most popular games around, and they're games that most people, regardless of gender, have played. And obviously people still make fun of them, but it isn't cool to make fun of them anymore. Y'all remember when everyone and their mother was playing New Horizons as it came out during the perfect time for everyone to play it just as the pandemic started? And that's a really feminine game if we want to divide games into feminine and masculine, which we at the end of the day will do because humans are obsessed with binary opposition. And it still defined a whole year for a whole bunch of people!

And obviously you might say that it's unfair to compare little ol' SSO to these games. And it is. If we're comparing them as games on a technical equal ground. But we're not. I'm exemplifying that games that are more feminine/played by a lot of women don't have to suck.

So by, conciously or subconciously, implying that SSO Can't be as good as other games or Shouldn't Be Expected To Be simply because women's games just Are worse, you're dismissing the fact that feminine games Do succeed, especially recently. Not only on the market, but as entertainment. And no matter what game you make, no matter what damn resources you have, you better make sure that your audience can fucking play it with the specs you yourself recommend. Because letting a company get away with settling for mediocrity further normalises girls' games not needing to be as good because they're already so shit that someone even trying is good enough. Which in 2023, is Not good enough. Even young girls deserve not to shill out tens of thousands, which they Do Not Have, for super PCs just because SSE forgot to optimise their open world game.

Lastly, all I'm saying is that if we're going to say "Yes, SSO is good." Don't follow it up with "Compared to women's games from 2005 that are so dead nobody remembers them anymore." Because SSO is a game that exists in 2023, and at some point we have to acknowledge that. And if this game wants to survive another decade, I think the first people who need to move away from 2011, is its audience.

Women’s games don’t have to suck. And implying that they do says more about you than it does about the game. Especially if your idea of “good standard” for women’s games. are almost 20 years old. At some point, we All have to move into the present times. Even if your game of choice is a little behind.

#Anyways sorry for this #This also goes into another thing I've been seeing which is comparing SSO to older games that are long since dead #Eh hate to break it to you people #But SSO exists in 2023 #And we Need to acknowledge that #Drops this and goes into hiding #This is very tldry and as stated I could make separate posts about each of these topics #And tbfh it kinda switches points halfway through #But I have So Much Shit to say about this so here it is #Basically #SSO is an old game with a lot of outdated leftover shit to figure out #And #SSO exists in 2023 and at some point we need to judge it as such #Can and should coexist