#but rather than being sad like oh it took so long NO it’s an example of how there’s always hope there’s always more things do get better!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cerastes · 5 months

Note

Hey how come you making flippant comments in regards to your own self-improvement fetish is so enlightening in regards to mental health things is this the whole 'professional' thing at work.

I would like to think so! When we think of "psychology", most people might have a very Freudian image of it: A therapist solemnly but very comprehensively taking notes as a patient lies on a couch and spills their guts, only interjecting once or twice in the hour-long session and then charging you. Psychoanalysis, the Freudian technique, I don't think it's useless, but it's definitely just one of a myriad of techniques and methods with which to carry out therapy (and one I myself am trained in and do not like). I myself am more of systems theory of psychology kind of guy (Humberto Maturana, Ludwig von Bertalanffy, Gregory Bateson, among others), and systems has a very input-output sort of view (if you want to learn more, you can also look up second order cybernetics and radical constructivism).

Where I am going with all of this is that if it may seem like I'm making flippant comments, then that means I've synthetized my own self-care mind palace to such a degree that it has simply become part of my discourse, my lingo, my poise, if you will, but that in itself took a lot of introspective work in a way that was tangible to me, or in other words, in a way that my brain accepted it. Ultimately, it's the role of the psychologist to lead one to something rather than to reveal any sort of secret to wellness. Using myself as an example, as someone that had suicidal depression at one point, being told to "think positively" didn't do a damn thing, because if it was that easy, then depression wouldn't exist. Instead, I more or less had to trick my own brain into giving it reasons as to why it should think positively, because it makes sense to do so, and in the same vein, I had to give it reasons as to why thinking negatively was dumb. Because that sort of logic works with me. So it's less "hey, think nice things :)" and more "okay but does it have to be like this? Does everyone else have this crushing sadness as their normal as well? I don't think so, so maybe what I'm feeling isn't normal. Why am I thinking that way? What do they have that I don't? Oh, thing A and thing B, yeah, makes sense, and do I want these things? Mmm thing A doesn't really matter to me, but thing B, I'm loathe to admit, is something I desire, how about I work towards having thing B for now as a goal and then see if that is good enough or at least improves my mental state? Are things really as hopeless as I think they are and am I enlightened by my grim outlook? Probably not, so why am I hopeless and why are they not? There's something I don't have or don't know, let's see what that is, and put these shit thoughts on hold until I can ascertain these things". This is a summarized version, of course, but you know what I mean.

But where I'm going with this (again) is that once you grab onto your own internal logic (which is where the introspective work leads to!) and know what makes you click and how your own metrics and parameters of motivation work, it becomes much much easier to have a healthy mental state and keep it healthy. This, in my opinion, should be the long term objective of any good therapy: To at least start your user (I don't really use the term "patient") on this road. I'm making it sounds all sunshine and rainbows, but introspective work worth having does entail having to look at the uglier parts of yourself and acknowledging them, hence why not a lot of people see it through. It takes commitment and guts because you very much do reach a point where you need to look at these things that are awful and be like "yes, this, too, is me" before you can start going into how to turn these into advantageous things instead.

Likewise, the therapy I do tends to have this as goal: Let's work this shit together so we can organize it in a way that's easier to handle for starters, and then you can have a very good grip on the reins of what makes you feel good and what makes you feel bad, and so can easily dispel the brain fog by simply consulting your inner blueprint. Each user is a whole different journey, and it's part of what makes psychology such a beautiful field.

73 notes · View notes

meircury · 3 months

Text

Hello everyone! I hope everyone have a nice today! I very much rarely engage in fandom directly but there's has been something nagging me for a while, and this has something to do with SOME of Grey and Gauche shippers, alongside SOME of Gauche 'fans', treated him. I'm mostly talking about English speaking side of the fandom. I feel like the need of talk about this because I really hate the way they treated canon Gauche:

(Fair warning: LONG)

I absolutely hate seeing fans turning Grey into another Marie for Gauche or a replacement of his sister and makes him simp for her just like how he acts around Marie. In the story Gauche‘s simping for Marie is called “complex” because he simps out of unhealthy familial love and attachment because of what happened to them in the past and as a result of Gauche’s trust issues. His simping is NOT normal. It’s an ISSUE. FLAW. That needs to be FIXED. Not deflected to someone else. I see a lot of shippers make Gauche shoves his problems into Grey and repeats all his complex action with her. Example, a lot of memes show Gauche being weird about Grey’s photo. Whyy? One of the charms this ship has is how it brings out a unique caring side of Gauche we rarely see, like when he told Grey to work on her magic in the seabed temple, or when she saved him with the bulls after the elf fight. Yeah. That… that side of Gauche acting tsun and shy because he’s not used to be nice or open to others. Yet a lot of fans choose to use his unhealthy simping and shove it to Grey rather than builds upon his established development.

Nosebleeding over Grey. I saw this troupe is used TONS of time by the shippers artists, specifically English/West ones, and it's bothering me A LOT. Like. This troupe is used a lot in western Grey and Gauche shippers community and it's so fucking weird because aren't the same community despise the way anime over exaggerating this troupe at the point it's destroyed gauche's characterization? (For the record, after his arc Gauche only nosebleed for 5 times in manga, while in anime? Idk 50 or smth 😂😂😂) Then why they act the same way with anime with over-using this troupe when he found Grey's cute or adorable or anything sexual? Like, I'm so sorry but this such a huge hypocrisy. Hate the way anime treated him but do the same. Do you know what's ironic? I've seen less of this troupe used in the Japanese bc ship community, where most of them didn't mind the troupe. There's more irony. Most of the nice fanarts and actually depicted their relationship right it's also from JP artists who's not even have Grey and Gauche as their main ship. They're drawing them once in awhile and that's it. It's sad because why ppl who doesn't have them as their main ship understand the ship's dynamic better more than the actual shippers?

Grey Fix Gauche. Grey will Fix Gauche. Oh my God. This is the most cringiest shit ive ever heard when it came to a ship. This is also the biggest reason why I lost all of my love I had for this ship and ended up disliking it. Like. No. Grey ain't fixing Gauche. Gauche is the one who's fixing his own problem. And if you really want to insist of using 'fixing' troupe, then Asta fixing Gauche is way more valid than her. Because, he's the one who changed Gauche's mind. If Asta didn't do this then Gauche will still not giving any shit about Grey. But yeah, I hate the fixing troupe as I'm firm believer one can and SHOULD fix their problem by their own self, not by others. This troupe is problematic and I'll stand by it. That aside, saying her fixing Gauche is literally disrespecting Gauche's own development and the others characters that help him grow up (henry, gordon, Theresa, YAMI). Like, stop. Stop thinking Grey took all of those efforts that's she's not even done. Stop being delusional. Please. Why y'all not trusting him to became a better version of himself by his own efforts? Damn.

Gauche has sister complex and I hope people especially his fans will accept that as one of his character flaws instead of being denial x') he's not some poor guy who show his love differently. I know the anime explained it like that but in my honest opinion he reads to me as a man in need of therapy help because his traumatic past of having his family killed is left untreated and resulting in him developing attachment issues to his sister, the only family he has left. (Manga - Context) Did Gauche get better at not being a full siscon? Yes. Did he enterly get over it? No. Because he will always show sister complex gags and it's the same with any other bulls with their gags (ex. Noelle's royalty tsun, Luck's fight obsessed, Vanessa's alcoholic). These are flaws that make them more humans and will need more time to smooth over. As his fan, I want Gauche to fully love Marie in the healthy way of course, and I'm happy he's not as bad as before. Some bulls already helped him with that by showing him there's others he can protect beside his sister. I'm sure Grey is also gonna help him because she's his love interest but fixing him? Nah. He’s already getting better by his and the bulls’ efforts not just Grey.

(I'm saying this again just to make sure: NOT ALL Grey and Gauche shippers act like this, there's only SOME of them (the rest are good) but the way they treated Gauche is just too much I need to make a post about it lol)

Alright that's it. I had more complains like how people keep drawing gauche with muscles (he's a twink omg y'all following anime way of drawing him 😭/hj), ignoring Gauche's canonly beautiful blue greenish eye, etc but that's my personal preferences and I believe everyone deserved to draw him in their own way x) with this vent is clear enough that I do not like and vibes with Grey and Gauche as the ship because of the shippers (also the way tabata treated them but that's a different topic lol) I know this two will eventually be canon but I don't care and I still want to give more loves for him and drawing him with others characters because he deserved to have more fanarts thats not tied to his canon ship x')

Lastly. I just wish the Grey and Gauche shippers can see more from Gauche's point of view instead of being huge biased towards Grey. Because at this point I'm convinced that the shippers is Grey fans who only cares about Gauche because he's her love interest. Please respect and adore Gauche's character as y'all do with Grey 😞

Thankyou and have a nice weekend everyone!

#black clover #gauche adlai #my English isn’t good so my friend who's I've been having discussion about this helped me with the wording #kudos for them!#too add more I know most of Gauche fans are also Grey and Gauche shippers #so if theres any of you follows me I'll make this clear again that I don't ship them #I just draw Gauche because I love him too much #vent post #personal vent

39 notes · View notes

itsbebebrainrotting · 3 months

Text

Analysis of qtubbo and qphils separate parenting flaws which might get me chased with pitchforks so im not tagging it:

(Long so under a cut)

Phils issue, when it comes to the other eggs, really boils down to his isolation. He only prioritises Chayanne and Tallulah (and he prioritises them by a lot) and only really knows Chayanne and Tallulah. And thats because he doesnt hang out with the other eggs often (and gets panicky when taking care of 3 eggs at once so never really gets to know them).

To him, dapper has cool shit, richas is just mischievous and sunny just likes money. This, as a start, just messes up his interactions with some eggs because he acts more familiar with them than he is and doesnt take a chance to know them better. This is worsened by how non serious and out of rp phil often is because when phil isnt rping the eggs still are. They will take his jokes srs. (And its especially bad with sunny cuz sunny is so defensive of tubbo, who qphil makes fun of a lot, and he also places that same relationship onto sunny, even if he doesnt know her well enough to have that relationship).

He also always prioritises his kids to the point of almost putting other kids down. It was RICHAS at fault in that argument over that painting he had with tallulah (cuz phil doesnt know richas enough to know he had an actual issue there). Phil didnt look for dapper when he was kidnapped and at risk of dying. Sunny and Leo fighting was none of his business. When sunny was sad their pa was gone phil compared it to his daughters loss and accidentally minimised their upset.

And the thing is, qphil isnt even perfect with chayanne and tallulah (enderking aside). He sees chayannes feeling of duty to everyone and encourages it rather than noticing how worrying it is. He also is seemingly unaware how deep it runs, considering how long it took him to notice chayannes hurt after tubbos death (and, may i add, chayannes egg bit with tubbo was way more heavily played into by phil than by tubbo). Hes seemingly a bit more attentive with tallulah (though notably i feel less knowledgeable on tallulahs woes nowadays than i used to - oh how the tides change). I know she struggles with loneliness and abandonment issues, and afaik hes very aware of that. But his own isolation therefore backfired a lot on her and he really doesnt notice. (Note: post reset i would also say qphil is probably less isolated but i cant really since i dont watch him and also most of the post reset phil has been enderking affected)

However, I wouldn't say qphil is a bad father to chayanne and tallulah. He just has one big flaw: He doesnt see the negative effects of some of his own actions and they suffer because of it.

Anyway, now to qtubbo, cuz im a tubbling and this analysis should be fair to both crows and tubblings.

Firstly, lets address post revival tubbo. Hes a lot more direct about his hurt and feelings, which manifests into him being mean and short tempered at times because qtubbo puts up with a lot of shit. This backfires at times onto his relationship with the eggs as he directs a lot of unnecessary anger onto them. He guilted both richas and chayanne for his death, for example.

That, however, isnt the only reasons he is a flawed egg caretaker.

See, qtubbo doesnt (always) have the same issues as phil. He babysits often and knows the eggs he regularly takes care of them really well, caring for them almost as much as he cares for sunny. The only egg id say he really didnt try to get to know at first was dapper (but he went out of his way to resolve the beef there). But, he also went to the end of the world and back for dapper so...

Tubbos issues with the eggs are more about his difficulty providing emotional comfort, than anything else.

For a start, both q and cc tubbo use humour as a coping mechanism. He will make poorly times jokes in dark situations because its his way of coping and dealing in those moments. That leaves eggs feeling hurt cuz he seems a lot less serious than they are.

Then theres the fact that while he lets the kids be kids, he also can struggle with telling the emotional age of the kids (he said sunny was 11 💀). This means he can sometimes act like the kids can handle a lot worse than they can.

Plus, his need for petty drama means he will accidentally upset the kids and not care that them fighting will upset them.

Not only that but he struggles at times to help sunny when she has issues (such as leo and tallulah disliking her at first) in part becayse he himself struggled with those issues irl. Of course he doesn't take the smart course of action there because he doesnt know how to fix it irl, let alone in rp.

Oh and all that also ignores the fact that tubbos suicidal tendencies are pushed onto sunny to the point where they literally have a suicide pact together

So, no, in short, qtubbo isnt perfect either. But that comes from struggling at times to be emotional support as well as his own poor mental health, which is entirely different to phils issues, which stem from his tendency to isolate (and a bit of a lack of self awareness).

#long post #of course this is all imo and ive orobably missed shit but #also i tried to be as unbiased as possible #this post was also a test on myself cuz i was worried i wasnt critical enough of qtubbo #i think i passed

41 notes · View notes

drdemonprince · 1 year

Note

Do you think the idea of "I feel" statements being better/less argumentative than "you" statements is an (almost) universally useful idea or is it just a cultural thing?

I think like many therapeutic tools it's overly blunt and very easily misused or rules-lawyered into a manipulation tactic.

Have I benefited from pivoting to "i feel" language in the heat of an interpersonal conflict or romantic squabble before? Absolutely. I think using "i feel" sentences help the most when you're swept up in an unproductive fight about the facts of a conflict, or the meaning of someone's behavior, when really you just want to drive down to the emotional truth that you are hurting.

Sometimes emotions get heated but you're terrified of revealing how vulnerable you are and so you latch onto some error the other party has made or some leap in their logic that you can sink your teeth into, and you pursue that intellectual task, angrily, your rage intoxicatingly distracting you from how wounded you actually are, and making everything worse and more contentious. in such moments, if you really value the relationship, it means a lot to be able to step back and say instead, "Sorry, i don't even actually care about the thing we are supposedly fighting about. I just feel really hurt/criticized/like you're gonna abandon me."

Lifting up the lid of rage or judgement and finding sadness and fear underneath can be really helpful. And sometimes, all a battling pair really needs is for at least one party to acknowledge that they aren't being perfectly rational and they aren't the sole arbiter of the truth, they're just feeling attacked or left behind or undervalued or filled with grief. once you switch from debating facts to acknowledging feelings, both parties in a "fight" can work together to repair the relationship, instead of trying to score points on one another.

That's all great. It works when both parties give a shit about how the other person feels, and both have the capacity to admit to being wrong.

That said, I often it cloying and manipulative when people shift into "I feel" language during a scenario where emotions are not the core problem, and there is actually a fact that was wrong or a behavior that needs to change. I'll share an example.

A few months back, I was invited to contribute to a social media platform branded as being by Autistics, for Autistics. The organizer wanted me to answer a bunch of questions from Autistic users on her platform. "This is your space too!" she told me, cheerily. "Make yourself at home!"

I went on the platform, answered a few reader questions, and then took a screenshot of one of the more interesting q&a topics and posted it to my other social media pages, a thing i am very known to do. A few hours later, the organizer of the platform sent me a long private message.

"I am so hurt and so disappointed that you have done this," she told me. "This platform is for all of us. This is your community space too. I want everyone to feel safe here. But you have gone and violated the terms of service for our platform by posting screenshots on public social media sites. I'm so sad that you would do this."

The message went on and on and on about how the organizer of this platform felt -- but the problem wasn't her feelings. She and I are nobody to one another. We aren't friends. We've never spoken before. I can't repair her betrayed emotions because we haven't any relationship to repair. The problem was my behavior. I violated the terms of service for her site. And so rather than getting swept up in attending to her feelings, I focused on concrete facts. And I said,

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know cross-posting was against your ToS. I'll take it down. Thanks!"

And that was it.

A few years ago, I would have gotten all defensive and shitty in the wake of a comment like this woman's -- I hate when people try to hold me responsible for their emotions or when they use an appeal to feelings to make me feel bad. It's off putting and makes me feel gross. It's manipulative and not relevant to the issue at hand. But it's exactly the kind of thing a white lady with chronic HR department syndrome and a background in therapeutic/supposedly nonviolent language would do. (and it's especially funny that this communication error happened on a site for autistics -- you'd think if anybody could be direct about rules and expectations without getting emotionally involved, it would be us).

Her use of emotionally loaded language -- and her telling me, a complete stranger to the platform, that the platform is "my space" while simultaneously telling me I have horribly violated some rule of the space I was never informed of and never agreed to, says a lot to me about her outlook. she's shown me her way of operating and i know that i'm not interested in being near it.

and if i'm not taking responsibility for others' emotions anymore, then, dealing with her complaint is pretty easy. i dont actually have to care that a complete stranger projected all kinds of unarticulated expectations onto me. i can just apologize for my behavior, correct it, and then never think about this woman or placating her ever again.

so, that's where I think the usefulness of "i feel" statements comes to an end. I feel statements can be great at redirecting the conversation toward the interpersonal relationship and the emotions of the people within it. But if the problem at issue is not anyone's feelings or their relationship, then communicating more concretely about facts and actions and consequences seems to me the more prudent thing.

93 notes · View notes

rainbowcarousels · 4 months

Note

remembering when you said nicki was more of a proto-daniel to armand rather an proto-louis and now i'm upset because it makes sense like lestat never saw nicki at his worst but armand did!! lestat doesn't know what a mentally ill vampire looks like when he meets louis 😭 (and oh boy is that an oxymoron because they're all fucked up but there's degrees)

and now i'm sad <3

So I tried to be thoughtful about this and make it detailed but...then I ended up writing you a fic in response instead. You played with my emotions and now this is what you get. I hope that's okay!

Whatever Louis said, Lestat was not stalking Armand. If anything, historically speaking, Armand had the tendency to stalk him! Even as far back as Paris, before they’d been formally introduced, Armand had stalked him through the theatre and watched his every step.

So if anyone was going to be prone to such an action, surely Louis should be aiming his accusations at their sometimes resident/occasional antagonist/often lover and not at Lestat. Lestat was out here minding his own business and his own business was everything that went on here, so him taking a casual stroll or three through the streets was not considered entirely unusual.

It was more unusual for Armand.

If anyone was acting in a way that you could call peculiar, look no further than his wanderings lately.

Was Louis rubbing off on him? Was he about to meandering about his eternal life now instead of building his fortresses in an illusion of safety? It’s not as if Lestat could say much about that now either. This place, this – what had Daniel called it, a Disney with fangs meets Colonial Williamsburg, this was supposed to be a place to make decisions, to keep safe the core of their ongoing immortality and it was supposed to mean something. A place to come to that felt safe.

Lestat huffed to himself.

In the end, that was all any of them really did, this building of safe havens and places to escape to.

Maybe for Armand, this was not unlike him watching Lestat at that theatre or ransacking the apartment. If he was out here gathering information, filing it away behind those intense eyes as if he were trying to make a mental folder all about him. Lestat wasn’t ruling it out. Lots of people had folders about him.

That was what happened when you ended up as the sparkling example of modern vampirism, fall apart and then try to put your pieces back together as if you’re collecting puzzle pieces. People watched you. People wondered about your decisions and considered the choices you made, even if Lestat often felt more like an oversized mascot than a Prince.

And secretly, or perhaps not so secretly by this point, that was how he’d prefer it. To be loud and wild and without the heaviness of a crown he took for the greater good but knowing it was being handled by people he could trust. As much as you could trust anyone with that kind of thing. As long as Armand and Louis never got up in arms at him at the same time, as long as Gabrielle didn’t join the rant, it was probably all running as best it can with egos larger than even his all stuffed into a little ruling party.

So if Lestat came out for a constitutional now and then, mostly now, then it was not out of character for him. It didn't mean he was stalking anyone, thank you very much.

“You’ve also established it isn’t odd for me either.”

Of course Armand was aware of him. Lestat hadn’t been trying to hide. They didn’t hide from each other, not anymore. Why should they?

“You don’t wander aimlessly.” They’d come to a stop outside the Inn, but the streets were quiet. Everything was stunningly quiet. “Since you don’t grant me access to your mind often, I must resort to more mundane methods to sniff out the mystery.”

“Louis doesn’t walk aimlessly either,” Armand deflected. “He enjoys it. That is the aim.”

“Louis doing something simply for the joy of doing it,” Lestat said, looking away from Armand and back around the streets. Doubtless people were watching him from somewhere, but he couldn’t tell exactly where from at this moment. “Will wonders never cease?”

“Joy is not spontaneous to everyone,” Armand replied evenly. “Even for you, sometimes you have to reach for it.”

“Are you reaching for it?” Lestat asked.

“I hope so,” Armand said, his expression changing from the impassive to something a little softer, something that suited those little cherubic cheeks a lot better.

This was closer to how he’d looked when he’d arrived, fledgling in tow, well over a week ago now. Something burning in veins far more potent than blood, anticipation for a reunion of their little family, perhaps?

It had only been a few nights ago that this melancholy wandering had set in. Lestat had wracked his mind to find the cause of it.

There were the complications of their relationship, but they’d embraced as lovers long apart do and he’d felt the warmth of him in his heart. No, Armand had been as happy to see him as he’d been to have him there.

Louis had been quiet, but Louis was often quiet and the court was very social. Armand of all people knew that Louis liked his little corners to disappear in so he didn’t think being ignored was the issue.

There was Marius and the inevitable difficulties of their relationship, but he’d greeted him with more warmth than usual.

There was also Daniel, but he’d arrived with Daniel in good spirits and whatever they had been working out together, it seemed to be a source of something beautiful and not something that would cause him to wander about like a lost child.

Who else was there that could cause such a response in him?

It was embarrassing that it took more than another few nights before Lestat realised where Armand tended to end up. It was a route he walked himself on occasion, when he was longing for someone else, someone that they’d shared a very long time ago without ever truly sharing him. Eleni had once told him that Armand had taken Nicolas’s death almost as well as Lestat had – so was this why he wandered by the places he had to know clung to his spirit?

Not literally, Nicolas had never shown up as others had in ghostly form, but there was an imprint of him at the places they wandered past - his fathers shop with the open window, the inn, the square, even Lestat’s rooms.

Had Lestat simply not realised that Armand had found some way to grieve another old loss, not unlike Lestat himself had been trying to do?

Eventually, he found Armand in one of the larger rooms that had been turned into something of a crafting studio by the more creative of among them. Armand had sat himself in the corner, letting two dead former lovers talk wildly about plans for some project with such an intense passion that suddenly, in his mind, something clicked into place.

When he had left Nicolas with Armand, it had been because he thought that Armand needed a guide to the then modern world. Daniel had been the same thing two centuries later. Both were sarcastic, brash, passionate about their respective arts and both had fallen into an obsessive madness before their very eyes.

“Before my eyes.” Armand’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Be thankful you didn’t see the worst of it.”

Lestat met his eye and couldn’t help but grimace. “I still wish I had,” he said.It didn’t matter that all logic said he was making things worse by staying, that their relationship had been destroyed the moment he was pulled through that window and it had been cruel to keep hanging on after that. “If only for more time. He had always wanted more time to become whoever he was supposed to be.”

“Instead, the infinity of time was the problem.” Armand wasn’t looking at him at all. Maybe it was too hard to do so. “Did you really think it would end any other way?”

Lestat could think of no rebuttal to that. Maybe before he’d drank so deeply, seen such desolation and misery, then yes, he believed they could get past it. It may have taken a while, but there would be time. It was all Nicolas had ever wanted, the time to study, the time to become the musician he wanted to be and maybe it was Lestat’s own foolishness to think that may have made him happy.

“Giving someone what they think want can cause more problems than it solves,” Armand said.

It was only then that Lestat understood, that the reason he wasn’t looking at Lestat wasn’t because he was overcome with some old emotion but rather that he was looking at another child that should never have to pass: his own.

Daniel had been exactly what Lestat had hoped Nicolas would be for Armand, his link to the world, a teacher of how to be a person from the most self possessed person he knew and yet, shortly after coming into the blood, their relationship had been ripped to shreds too. Daniel had slipped into obsession while Armand had slipped into despair.

But they had recovered. Armand had founded Trinity Gate with Louis, he had kept the children safe and he had begun to connect with old lovers and lovers that should have been. From his understanding, Daniel had slowly found his way back to the world under Marius’ care and his patience, something Armand confessed he didn’t know he could give another of his blood. They had found new life in themselves before finding each other again.

If Nicolas had the time, if they had all known what they know now, could he have recovered from his fevered mind?

Could he have found himself in the rubble and as stubbornly as he had cursed him out, as creatively as he had written his music, as persistently as he had practiced his craft, begun to see the world as something that could be beautiful? No, not beautiful, beautiful wouldn’t have been enough, but as something interesting, something thought provoking, something that could have kept his mind from slipping down into the wailing waves of his own internal agonies?

“I did what I thought would help.” Armand’s voice was tight now. “Clearly Marius knows something I don’t.”

“And if you’re not careful, he’ll give you an extensive yet largely uninformative lecture on what it is.” Lestat reached for his hands, cupping them in his own. They were fever hot and it warmed something within him to do it. “I am not casting blame on you. I know that you did everything you could, and you always do. I’m not blind to what you did for Louis. I’m not blind to what you do for me either. I’m just a little sad to think of what we could have had.”

“He would have liked that,” Armand said, eyes flickering to Lestat’s own. There was the briefest hint of an affectionate smile, but if it was for how Nicolas seemed to make despair and darkness into something to be loved or for Lestat then or Lestat now, who knows? “Any idiot can make you smile, but this deep sense of grief, a sweet misery, I think he would have liked to be remembered as having caused that.”

“You’re right,” Lestat agreed. Any idiot could be happy, he’d often said, in fact idiots were often happier because they didn’t know any differently. This mix of grief, nostalgia, pain and pleasure tied into a memory, it would be how his Nicki would want to be remembered. “And things didn’t turn out so badly in the end, did they?”

“He was right about one thing,” Armand said, rolling his eyes. “You are irrepressibly optimistic.”

“It’s part of my charm,” Lestat said, bringing Armand’s hands to his lips and kissing them, taking care to brush a fang over the skin just to feel the reaction. “And I am terribly charming, aren’t I?”

“You’re definitely terrible.”

It lost some of its heat by the way his face could still go the softest shade of red, but Lestat would take it.

#askbox fic #answered #hekateinhell #lestat de lioncourt #the vampire armand #vc #vampire chronicles #the parallel between daniel and nicolas always gets to me #so thank you for that #this is a little rough around the edges so please forgive me for that #nicolas de lenfent

17 notes · View notes

liverpool-enjoyer · 6 months

Note

who would the liverpool players be if they were in mi7

this,,, is from JULY,, i have no idea how on God's green earth i didnt answer this sooner cause i will do ANYTHING to talk abt mission impossible,,, ANYTHING. anywho its been so long anon probly forgot that they sent this 😭😭 this ones for you anon, whoever you are

ok so basically what im gonna do is cast everyone as the characters role in the story rather than the characters themselves. so like for exmaple its like an au of sorts. like im saying trent would be our main man ethan not bc they share personality traits, but bc i could see trent filling out the main character kinda role.

ok so anyway!!! yeah trent is ethan!! look me in the eyes n tell me trent wouldnt have the time of his damn life as an action movie hero. i could totally see him filling out an ethan kinda role. hes still,,, relatively young ig(???) jus like how ethan was in the first movie, which in combination to him being naive led to him being betrayed. n i could see trent doing whatever it takes to get the mission done, so long as no innocents or his fellow imf agents are harmed

now WHO is ethan without ilsa!!! youre gonna hafta hear me out for this one but for ilsa im going w robbo. now HEAR ME OUT as i said this is based less off personality n more on the role they play in the story. n ethan n ilsa are equals, they UNDERSTAND each other. but the MAIN reason i chose robbo as ilsa is bc of my choice for,,,

grace!! grace would be dominik. now i chose this bc in the movie ethan (trent) is forced to choose between the lives of someone hes known n loved for literal years n understands more than he understands himself (ilsa/robbo),,, n some rando he met like five minutes ago (grace/dominik). n he ACTUALLY STRUGGLES TO CHOOSE BETWEEN EM DESPITE THERE BEING A P OBVIOUS ANSWER. now tell me that doesnt work w their lil friendship triangle. also no shade to grace i love her shes a real one but idk what mcq was thinking w that

ok for the rest a the team!!! good ol reliable luther is virgil. this ones simple. bro jus gets the job DONE yknow??? n i could totally see virg n trent having a similar relationship to ethan n luther, w equal parts helping each other out n ragging on each other

oh, my dearly beloved sweet benji,,, when we see him in ghost protocol hes a new field agent, so im going w our lil harvey. hes just starting out, but hes super promising n will surely grow into his own <3 also benjis jus a silly lil guy. n what is harvey if not that

ok i know I KNOW you said lfc players specifically but,,, there are some characters that i feel would work best w players from other teams

my beloved alanna n zola for example i kinda wanna say would be pedri n gavi respectively. yeah the ages are mixed up but why am i lowkey kinda seeing the vision of charasmatic philanthropist/secret arms dealer pedri n everpresently angry/socially awkward brother gavi. it also works that alanna n zola are siblings cause gavi n pedri are literally the same fucking person. im also realizing now that this means dominik would hafta impersonate pedri which is,,, kinda funny

paris would be sergio ramos. bc theyre fucking crazy.

OK LIKE IM ACTUALLY PROUD A THIS BUT IM SO SAD THAT THE ORIGINAL ANON PROBLY WONT SEE IT CAUSE I TOOK SO LONG 😭😭 N I DONT THINK ANY A YALL ARE INTO M:I SO DAMN

10 notes · View notes

cryptid-killjoy · 1 year

Text

Sharing a hotel room extendedly was interesting. You get to know a person quickly, all their little habits, intimately, quirks, rituals. They tried to share, take turns, give space, but of things would also blend sometimes if they were going to the same place at the same time. He noticed her morning routine. He noticed her night routine.

He noticed the way she sat when she read. He noticed her usual orders when she ate, the way she fixed her teas, held her cups, crossed her legs or leaned in her chair. He started to noticed things about Elsa and know more things about this woman than he’d known about nearly anyone, much less so quickly in the start of a relationship.

He noticed Elsa often went off to do her own thing in the day especially if it had to do with the band. He understood that. She didn’t seem like the type to want to hang around Valerie’s house listening to them stop and start a song over and over half the day while babies were also crying or feeding in the other rooms. In a way it wasn’t the most fun and inviting environment in the world when there was all of New Zealand to explore. He liked to take her out sometimes for a sit down dinner someplace. Make a date of it. It hard to completely be himself when he didn’t know the area at all. Try to keep things feeling like the world was still a normal place for them despite it not being normal at all, for example how they came back to the hotel and ended in bed together.

It wasn’t a bad thing though, not for Koda. To him the sex remained positive. Fiery. He wasn’t getting bored. However, in his different life experience than her he wasn’t used to all this closeness. The most closeness he had was with his band mates on the tour bus that one summer for this long. This sort of “always there” was definitely new for him and it wasn’t like they chose it exactly. It just came upon them by happenstance. It wasn’t bad. It was just foreign to him how it all happened so quickly. It was hard to keep acting like life was normal when the world was anything but and their lives had been torn apart, at least his was.

Then finally he got some texts from Willem. This led to more. Elsa would see him sputtering on his phone for some time before he’d approach her.

“I just talked to Delta. Great news. The spell didn’t affect animals. My horse is actually okay after all because they were out in the field able to graze.” There was a smile on his face for a split moment because for him this was a small ray of sunshine in middle of all the sadness he could cling to. Floppy meant a lot to him. “She must have run off that day. Spooked.”

His face changed rather quickly though, more serious. “She’s going to let some people back in if they really want to be there or have reason. Delta’s terms of course. We were right. Nola’s never going to be the same. Big things are happening there. She said if I do come back in she won’t guarantee when I’ll let be back out... or... if.”

Delta was pulling a Godfather on this stuff. Full allegiance for entrance with the while spiel. One day I may call upon you for a favor and you can not refuse.

The horse was one thing, but Elsa knew with his parents in Funkytown there was no way he wasn’t going to risk it. He’s been waiting for this chance, but now he had no idea how long he’d be gone. Delta was a serious wild card.

Now every moment where he thought I wish I had a little extra space he was currently thinking instead oh spirits please allow me to be lead back to this woman. He was worried he took it for granted and didn’t savor it enough while he had the opportunity.

#kodaxelsa

11 notes · View notes

mbti-notes · 2 years

Text

Anon wrote: I'm an INFJ with self worth problems and recently have made a list about what i really need from others to be my friends. I would like you to help me by reading it and telling me if this is too unrealistic?

"i need friends who I can have any type of stupid conversation with, such as big ideas, gossip, dreams of the future or planning a trip. That I'm able to connect intellectually and emotionally, who is funny and we can spend time doing nothing in silence. Who are supportive of me and wants the best for me always. Who are empathetic with others and good people. that enjoys staying in watching movies or playing games or brainstorming. or going out to a chill place to get beers and laugh together. also a person who's there when I'm feeling lonely and sad. that makes me feel like im not so alone."

for example, I know I also should be friends with sensors but i find it very difficult to connect with people who cannot engage in a more abstract or idea oriented way of talking, people who take things I say very literally. I know it's their own way of speaking and it's not natural for them to engage in abstract ideas but I find it hard to find common ground with them. I have an ISTP friend, for example, and I really love her but sometimes I'm anxious because I said something funny but it wasn't funny or interesting for her because she took my humor literally. for ex:

she: "I'd like we could travel"

me: "Me too, friend… You know what? we can do it! we can get to the airport and tell someone their flight has been canceled and get to plane in secretly. Nobody would notice! hahaha"

she: "oh… that's crazy… haha"

and then we don't connect as well as she does with other people.

-----------------------

There are two issues to address:

1) Validation & Acceptance: When you have low self-worth, you have a very hard time validating, accepting, and loving yourself. Thus, it certainly helps to have someone in your corner to validate you and encourage you to accept and love yourself. Positive self-regard is a legitimate need, because it is necessary for psychological well-being, so it's not unreasonable to want someone to help you fulfill this need.

Where people generally go awry is when they expect that a friend should be perfect, i.e., that they always know what you want, always say the right thing, are always there when you need them, etc. A "good" person is not the same as a "perfect" person. A good person puts out their best effort, but that doesn't mean they always succeed or that their good intentions always produce good results. Expecting perfection is too big of a burden to place on any one person, even if they are willing to accept the burden. You should ideally have a social support network to lean on, rather than expecting just one person to fulfill your every need.

Another way people go awry is by being too self-absorbed because they are too needy for validation and acceptance. If you want to make friends with a good person and keep them in your life, it's important to remember that you also have to be a good person to them. You have to offer them validation and acceptance in return, in order to make it worthwhile for them to stick around.

2) Shame & Low Self-Awareness: When you have low self-worth, it is often accompanied by deep-seated shame about your needs and wants, leading you to hide them away for fear of being rejected for them. When you have gone neglected for a long time, you lose touch with yourself and then don't know yourself very well, unable to express your needs, desires, and feelings constructively. It makes sense that you would want a friend who can relate to you, read you well, and teach you something about who you are.

It is important to have like-minded friends because they reflect back to you the aspects of yourself that you like to see, which helps build up your self-regard. However, don't forget that it's just as important to have challenging friends, because they reflect back to you the aspects of yourself that you're trying to hide, the parts of you that you're deeply ashamed of. Otherwise, you might remain forever blind to your shame and its influence over you, thus stalling your growth.

That said, personal growth is a very long and gradual process, a lifelong process. When you have low self-worth, you need to go through a period of building up your self-regard, of feeling proud of who you are, before your ego is strong enough to confront your darker side. There's nothing wrong with admitting that you aren't able to relate to people who are very different from you… at this point in time. Being realistic about what you can handle is good. But remember that you won't feel whole until you can accept every part of yourself, shame and all.

#infj #infj relationships #auxiliary fe #self worth #self regard #shame #validation #friendship #expectations #ask

34 notes · View notes

disturbedreams · 1 year

Note

Can I get a quick intro to gore and horror?

I’m so sorry it took me so long to respond to this one! I kind of wanted to have another short story out before I answered anymore asks, but oh well! ^^ (also for some reason I mostly used examples of movies and games in this answer?? For that I am so sorry, it is 3:00 am and my brain is short circuiting. I’ll probably update it later with more book recs!)

To kind of prepare you for everything I’m about to say; no, I cannot give a short intro to horror. I can try with gore, but I doubt it will be very short (I apologize in advance! ^^;). I say this all to you also with the warning that I am not like, A Horror Professional, I’m just someone who has spent an unreasonable amount of time silently observing and absorbing my favorite type of media.

So, anyways; gore by itself is, yes, technically probably a genre, but it’s also a great plot device in media that may not actually be considered gore. Pulling just from movies here as an example- the Final Destination series is creatively gorey, and are definitely considered gore films in their own right; however, I wouldn’t consider The VVitch gore. While getting pretty nasty with the gore & graphic imagery in the last third, it serves to kind of draw to themes in the story & to symbolize. Midsommar is a great example of both- a very gorey film in retrospect, BUT the deaths and bizzare body horror shown all served either some sort of symbolism, a parallel that could be drawn, or did it’s plot job of showing us how messed up and unsettling the cult was. I would say these 3 examples are kind of okay-ish benchmarks to how gore can be divided.

For gore (this goes for horror too, really!) I find it incredibly helpful to divide media I interact with not by its genre, but more by the themes within the story & effect it had on me, as a reader. Using ‘Fridge horror’ to describe a couple of books instead of looking at each one individually and being like, “ok, this is a sci-fi body horror, this is a splatterpunk, this is a supernatural slasher-” etc, really helps me out, because I’m someone who tends to read the same type of horror, rather than the same genre.

All the categories I use personally I’ll list below, but I warn you these are very specific to me because I read a lot of the same thing, & I like a good character before anything else. I think that shapes a lot of the media I interact with. I don’t know if everyone uses all of these, or if no one’s used these and I’m just a funky little loser, but this is my personal system;

Fridge Horror; A story that becomes terrifying after you’ve read it and let it sink in. For gore specifically, I find it’s less actual gore, and more “wow, you just compared a house to a human and now that thought will never leave my mind lol”, OR, gore used as weird obscure symbolism for the actual thing going on at hand- and once you’ve figured out what that thing is, it puts the piece of media into a whole new perspective. (ANATOMY by kittyhorrorshow is a wonderful game, and prime example of both!)

Obsessive Horror; Stories & Media that uses gore & body horror as a way to describe a character’s mental state (and usually obsession with a specific concept/idea) OR a set of characters' mental decline but obsession with each other. I would say the movie The Perfection (2019) does this well!

Sad/Vulnerable Horror; kind of self explanatory, but very similar to Obsessive Horror- the only usual distinction between the two is that instead of obsession being the overarching thing to tie it all together, it’s usually grief, or a character struggling with some sort of obstacle that has forced them to stop- a character being unable to move on from something and it getting gradually worse. Midsommar is a great movie for this!

Philosophical Horror; in a gore sense, I do find it funny that this one tends to be less like. Human oriented and usually has some sort of monster involved, but it’s usually something along the lines of like “what makes us human?” (insert violent gorey scene here) lol. Very entertaining. I’m gonna come back and edit this post to add specific media examples for this one, because none come to mind right now except for fanfic, but it’s also… 3AM please be patient with me haha ^^;

I don’t have any recs for ppl just dipping their toes in, because everyone is different and I don’t know what preferences work for everyone- but I would just say to engage with the media that’s kinda popular and seems to interest you in the horror genre- and work from there. It really helps to make accounts on sites like goodreads & letterboxed just to kind of stalk what other people are watching and reading! On goodreads I joined a couple of groups, and while I’m not the best at having a one on one convo with someone just yet, it really helps me to look through the forums and conversations available and to be like “Oh, shit, this person also likes B.R. Yeager? And is recommending another book in relation to Negative Space? I’ve gotta check it out!” You don’t even have to engage with people if you don’t want to in these kinds of settings- you can silently stalk forums discussing media they liked and why- its glorious and a good way to quickly add to your collection & get more into the swing of things without feeling bad because you’re never gonna read the book you got yourself 2 years ago & now sits untouched on your shelf lol.

(Definitely not a self call out.)

I don’t really know how to end this one, so I’ll end it with my favorite kind from the list I previously mentioned; Vulnerable Horror/Gore. (SPOILERS FOR KATHE KOJA'S THE NEGLECTED GARDEN INCOMING).

I personally love a good piece of media that has character specific body horror- things that frighten us, because, holy shit that sounds awful to experience- but also have an innate and personal terror to the character it’s happening to;

Kathe Koja’s short story, The Neglected Garden, is a perfect example of this. Throughout the entire story, we never learn the narrator’s name- only the name of his girlfriend, Anne, and the impact she makes on him after he attempts to break up with her- which she responds to by crucifying herself to his fence. You understand the narrator’s reaction to Anne’s crucifixion- and as it continues and gets worse- how she ended up there in the first place. Obvious parallels are drawn to their relationship before she went to such extreme measures; both too cruel and stubborn to be together- but too desperate and obsessed with each other to ever break up. The narrator is arguably, not at all sympathetic- but you still understand the horror of what he witnesses. Koja goes into graphic detail when describing Anne’s initial crucifixion, and then, the slow growing of grass and flowers as she stays still and unmoving. Her body slowly morphing into a disgusting infected carcass that’s somehow still alive is described with alarming depth. But it serves a purpose to the story, and the characters- or rather, it serves as a vehicle for understanding their relationship.

So… yeah! Lol, I’m sorry, this probably wasn’t as helpful or as informative as you were hoping, but I hope it’s still enough to kind of get a general idea of where to start. If you don’t want to spend a lot of money on specifically splatterpunk (general subgenre of gore) books, I highly recommend godless.com, as they have a lot of short story collections & stand alone pieces that you can buy for sometimes as little as 50 cents! I do warn you though, sometimes there’s a bit of odd fetish content on there? Lol so… have fun with that.

Sorry for the ramble, thank you for the ask! Bye lol

3 notes · View notes

withthewindinherfootsteps · 2 years

Note

Hey!

Since some have already been snapped up - 1, 2 & 4 for the ask game 💕

Thanks so much for the ask (and sorry I took so long to answer)!

1. Who are your three favourite characters, and why?

Not very unexpected picks for me, but here goes:

3 - Lan Wangji. I feel I don’t talk about him a lot, but he certainly deserves more mentions from me! I really love his arc of being extremely hesitant to accept his love for Wei Wuxian at first, but eventually growing to decide to stand by Wei Wuxian no matter what — and by doing so actually acting on his love, unlike certain other characters (cough cough JC)… which is the point at which I yet again refer people to Rynne’s wonderful ‘love is an action word’ meta’, because it gives so much thematic insight, and whenever I’m analysing MDZS characters my thoughts always wander back to that. And although he’s too late to help Wei Wuxian in his first life, that growth doesn’t go away — through that experience, he learns (and more importantly, commits himself to the fact) that rules and to some extent conventions do not dictate morality, and he learns that he will choose love and justice over them, confidently. Seriously, we don’t even see that arc from Lan Wangji’s perspective and so much of it is offscreen, and it’s still that good!

And then whenever I’m thinking about the emotional side of things… wow. I’m genuinely inspired by how deep he loves (and not just WWX though that’s the main example, but generally, you see that with LSZ as well), and how selfless that love is and how he defines himself by it and is proud to. I love how when Wei Wuxian comes back, he’s elated to just have him around (and alive) — he doesn’t need anything else, he isn’t sad that they’re not together or thinking what could be, because that’s not the important thing, and he’ll take this miracle as it is gladly. You just… rarely see something that deep, and it’s so inspiring.

(Also props to him to being the only MXTX love interest with their own personal morals!)

2 - Nie Huaisang. I have spoken a bit about him already, and there isn’t as much to say as with Lan Wangji, so this will be quite a lot shorter, but he’s just so interesting to me. I love how we meet him first in the Cloud Recesses arc where he is showing his genuine personality, but then when we see him again it’s being used as a mask, except we don’t know that, and at the end we don’t know how much of that is an act and how much of it is in some way genuine, because he’s so good at hiding himself that the narrative itself can’t definitively condemn him! I must admit, I do also really like the archetype of the person who’s really smart but deliberately hides it behind some vulnerable, helpless act when they’re not vulnerable or helpless at all, so that may play into it. But I also love how his morality and role is so ambiguous in the context of the narrative — he’s not clearly the villain but definitely not the hero either, and there’s just so much we do not know (ironically, considering his nickname), and it’s all just so so intriguing. And again, introducing him the way he was introduced and then having him as the puppet master behind the entire plot? Genius.

1 - Wei Wuxian! Very short because I have spoken about him (a lot) before, but oh wow he’s such a great protagonist, and I feel like that’s a lot harder to pull of than just making him a good character. He’s immediately so engaging and dynamic and so enjoying to read from the perspective of because he just enjoys living, too! I love how there were so many opportunities to make him into an Angsty Protagonist^TM (otherwise known as him in fanon), but he isn’t at all — he’s confident, he’s (extremely) capable, his actions come from a place of genuine righteousness rather than some sort of hero complex, and again, he’s just so enjoying to be in the presence of. And that’s not even going into his actual personality! But I could talk about that all day and I’ll spare you for now, because I still have two other questions to attend to…

I will also say that I love how crazily smart he is — and it’s not even just abstract and conceptual (though there is that too), there is so much problem solving and quick thinking/improvisation there too, and you as a reader do get to witness that in person on multiple occasions. And it’s amazing to read his thought process when that happens, and any scene with that definitely stands out to me.

(Honourable mention to all the Juniors!)

2. Who’s your least favourite character? Why?

I... probably can’t give a satisfying answer for that, actually, because when considering characters my like of them is based both on how they are as a person, and how interesting they are/how well they’re written. And MDZS is a very well-written book, so pretty much all the major characters are really interesting. As much as I don’t like Jiang Cheng or Jin Guangyao and so on as people, they’re written really well, and the meta side of my brain can’t get me to hate them (though JGY comes close). So I guess I’d say Jin Guangshan and/or Sect Leader Yao, because they’re terrible people and also don’t get that much screentime, so there’s just less to think about with them.

As a person, though, I’d say Xue Yang, because... well, have you seen Xue Yang? Ripping out people’s tongues so they can’t cry for help and then corpse poisoning them (something horrible to experience by itself) so they can do nothing but wait for somebody who would never kill innocents, to kill them unknowingly? And everything else he’s done? Yeah...

But then he’s so interesting as a character so I can’t hate him properly.

(And for the record, my real least favourite character is fanon!Wei Wuxian, but I’m not sure that counts...)

4. What’s your favourite scene?

This was actually a little hard to answer, because MDZS works so well for me because of how all the scenes are great and how they flow together seamlessly. Which means that unlike in Scum Villain, I can’t pinpoint my favourite on the spot. But with consideration, I’d say these are some of my favourites:

I’m really not sure if this counts as a single scene, but the whole storyline with the Xuanwu of Slaughter. It does so many things I love – it showcases Wei Wuxian’s problem solving abilities very well, which I always like to read about (both in saving Mianmian from Wen Chao and in the plan to defeat the Xuanwu itself), it develops teenage Wangxian’s relationship pretty meaningfully and gives you a lot of bonding moments, Lan Wangii gets a vunerable moment which is something we hardly ever see from him, the abilities of both characters get to shine, Jin Zixuan even gets a moment early on which shows us another side to him (and he’s a character I quite like, actually), and on top of that it’s the first iteration of Wangxian The Melody. And what can I say, I really like the atmosphere of last-resort, base-under-siege-sort-of-but-the-vibes-are-there stories.

On the road to Yiling, when Wei Wuxian reminisces about the memory he has of him and his parents on a donkey. It’s just a really sweet scene, but you really feel its importance to him as well, and I’m not sure why but I just love the sweet and profound atmosphere it creates and you get while reading it.

“If he catches me, I’ll-” aka the fall from the tree. Again, it’s a very sweet, profound moment, and just like the previous one*, I think that’s because of the pure trust present in this scene. I love how slow the scene is and how we have time to dwell on his thoughts, and I love the the thought he has that he wouldn’t need someone to catch him but wouldn’t it be so great if there was? And how he lets go before entirely thinking it through (which isn’t something he often does), partly because he needs to know and partly because he just subconsciously trusts Lan WangJi now? Yeah... I’d say this is my favourite Wangxian moment, actually!

When Lan Wangji is leaving the Burial Mounds in Wei Wuxian’s first life, and they discuss the “single-plank bridge”. The whole scene is tinged with melancholy, but is yet again extremely profound, and the dialogue is beautiful – the repeat of the single-plank bridge versus broad road motif we first saw in the very first series of flashbacks and has been seeded throhhout, and now here it is in the very last set of flashbacks and the very last one before everything goes wrong; Wei Wuxian’s statement about letting the self judge the right and wrongs (+ the rest of it) which . And there is something about the tragedy – not obvious overstated, but seeping and ever-present, maybe melancholy would be a better term – that they are on good terms now, that they’re not hostile, that they do want the best for each other, but because of circumstance they won't be able to see each other on positive terms again before Wei Wuxian’s death, and we can feel that somehow here. ...Thank goodness he gets resurrected :)

The entire events of the Guanyin Temple, but again, I’m not sure that counts...

The Golden Core Reveal. ...Do I even need to elaborate? It’s SUCH a good reveal because you don’t see it coming at all (if you’re not analysing every single line intensely on your first read through, but even ten) but it makes perfect sense with everything? After that I went back and reread the scene where Wei Wuxian is ambushed by Wen Chao and co (right before he’s thrown into the Burial Mounds) to check if he didn’t use any cultivation there, because I could remember Wen Chao saying that he seemed weaker there and how he was jumping around a lot with the Xuanwu ... and that was why! And he didn’t use any cultivation in that scene, and just... the reveal is amazing. And it still works the second time, because of all the character reactions surrounding it, the reveal itself isn’t even the only aspect of the scene!

Honourable mention to the very beginning where Wei Wuxian is working out everything happening with the arm possessing the corpses of the Mo family, and his introduction in general – it establishes his character perfectly, and is just a really strong introduction to a (character-driven especially) book series and its protagonist, which can be hard to pull off. Also to all the Drunkji scenes because they’re awesome.

...there are probably more, but these are the ones that came to me first, which should mean they’re the ones I think about most, right?

*Interestingly, both scenes are replaying a memory of Wei Wuxian’s young childhood – his parents with him on a donkey and then him first coming to Lotus Pier and Jiang Yanli catching him. I feel like there’s something ti be said about that, but it’s late and my brain’s not working...

#ask game :)#mdzs #thank you so much!

8 notes · View notes

kaatiba · 1 year

Text

15 Questions 15 Mutuals (/Followers)

tagged by @samplewriting (thank you!) and tagging: @malglories, @faytelumos, @treesandwords, whoever is seeing this and wants to play!

(no obligation or expectation to if you’d rather not!)

Are you named after anyone?

Yup, one of the first martyrs in Islam. I definitely think this is the reason for certain tendencies of mine

When was the last time you cried?

A few days ago, off and on for about four hours lol

Do you have kids?

Nope. I like the idea of having kids but not so sure about carrying them nor being responsible for doing right by them for their entire lives.

Do you use sarcasm?

Yeah lol, but I try not to be mean at someone with it.

What's the first thing you notice about people?

Mmmm how they look? I’m a visual learner and I have a visual based memory. I remember faces more than anything else. I recognize strangers I’ve never spoken to after years sometimes.

What's your eye color?

Dark brown. My sis and dad have the type of brown eyes that go tawny in the sun, it’s very cool. Mine are too dark for that.

Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings! Scary movies linger with me for too long, and I make it a point not to watch kdramas, for example, if they don’t have happy endings. Otherwise I’ll be sad for a good long while.

Any special talent?

Uh......I don’t think so? Oh, I can wiggle my ears lol.

Where were you born?

In my childhood home, which is the more interesting answer :P

What are your hobbies?

Writing og works and fic (though it should probably be ‘writing’), crochetting (newbie at it tho!), reading, watching k-dramas, learning Korean, collecting kpop albums, swimming, walking (that’s totally a hobby), teaching English (also another hobby)

Have you any pets?

One rescue cat from Dubai. I love her. Used to have a lovebird (also a rescue) but she passed away a few years ago. I also used to have three cockatiels, but two escaped and were never found, and the third we returned to his mom because he was lonely without his siblings.

What sports do you play/have played?

Used to play soccer (badly). That’s about it. If I could go back in time I’d do track maybe.

How tall are you?

5’7”

Favorite subject in school?

In high school: English! Very typical of me I know. My Gr. 12 social studies course was also amazing though, due to the coolest teacher in the world who got us all super engaged. My favourite uni courses was my Shakespeare course with one specific professor (I literally took like, 5 of his different Shakespeare courses and later got the opportunity to vote him for head of the English department or something like that).

Dream job?

I do not dream of labour fr fr. But since I live in a capitalist hellscape society: something that allows me to work from home with minimal oversight so I can live abroad/in a cottage somewhere, not be tied down to an office, can set my own hours, and get paid a living wage without having to commit to useless hours where I do nothing because my actual tasks only take 2 to 3 hours max.

...I’m bitter and burnt out, if you couldn’t tell, even though my current job is the best I’ve ever had. (I work in a library).

#kaatiba.speaks #tag meme

2 notes · View notes

funnywormz · 2 years

Note

If they don't do anything w/ Jacob Hopkins in the remaining episodes we have left (which, ya, seems pretty likely lol) I wonder if his whole character was a remnant of the original plan for a full season 3, like the whole theoretical episodes/arcs that took place in the human realm. And we would had at least one episode mostly or even fully focusing on Belos finding him and...doing whatever manipulative or possession thing he would plan idk. I'm just very curious of not only what was og outline for the show's final season as a whole, but what obstacles the kids and Camilla would had to face during their time stuff in the human realm.

oh this is an interesting take! ive been wondering a bit abt the original plans for season 3 as well, and what might have happened if the owl house crew had had another season, or even a couple more seasons, to flesh out what was going to happen. to me it feels like the kind of show that should have been really epic and pretty long running, it feels like it's been cut off at the knees a bit......... but at least they have been given enough notice to write a proper conclusion to it, which is something, rather than the cancellation happening with no warning.

i think you're right that jacob would have played a bigger role in season 3 if it had been a full season. i can imagine him being kind of a "joke" antagonist, a bit like he was in season 2, getting used as a way to raise the stakes of plots but without being too much of an actual threat, maybe. im thinking a kind of denzel crocker from the fairly odd parents type of situation lol, where he's obsessed with witch hunting to an extent that seems absolutely ridiculous to anyone else, and is constantly trying and failing to catch the kids in the act of doing something magic related, making himself seem like a fool in the process.

it would have been interesting to get philip introduced to him, and to maybe see him make the change from being a joke villain to a scary villain (albeit just by virtue of being the body philip is possessing lol but still). i think philip would have found jacob intriguing, due to the possible family connection there, and also due to jacob being an example of a modern human still fixated on witch hunting. the kind of conspiracy theory stuff jacob talks about reminds me a lot of the weird shit i read abt witches in king james's demonologie, it's a modern manifestation of the same kind of mindset.

there is the fact that we only see philip possessing dead things and hunter, who is arguably undead due to being a grimwalker... it's possible that possessing living humans isn't something that philip is capable of. however i can imagine philip would have found other possible ways to control/manipulate jacob, or at least guide his reactions. he wouldn't have been able to confront jacob directly due to being stuck in his goop monster form, but he may have been able to find ways to use him indirectly. jacob is kind of pathetic, but i don't doubt that philip would have found some use for him...

just in general it makes me sad thinking about all of the things we missed out on because of the show being cut short. there were so many little moments in "thanks to them" where i was watching and thinking like "wow, this should have been a whole episode in itself"... it would have been interesting to see luz try to reintegrate with human school and society after spending so long away from it.

im also sad that we haven't gotten more wittebane lore, although i don't want to speak too soon on that because there are still 2 episodes left... i know they probably won't be a huge focus, but i hope we at least get to see a properly animated backstory sequence and to see caleb and evelyn, and philip as a young kid too. fingers crossed we get something like that 🤞

#sorry i got a lil off topic there lol #ask #anon ask

4 notes · View notes

tiny-tigers · 11 months

Note

Only skim personal as in personal of the players, not your own personal ones!

I agree completely, nobody should ever feel compelled to have anything done and it is very sad that they do, but we have to accept that it has very much become normal for this to happen now.

I think you may have missed my point, because I agree with what you are saying. As a society we are more hypocritical of girls than boys when they may be having similar measures done. I was using Freddie as an example to say exactly that, that few people would think twice about commenting on his decision but not if it was a girl with lip filler for example. I know they are not the same in scale of the procedure, but I was comparing as a point of the fact that he is young, it is still irreversible and done to beautify but the reaction is so different.

I agree most influencers take deals for the money rather than because they believe in what they are promoting. And it is really sad if it took something as serious as cancer for someone to realise how bad it was to promote those things.

I apologise for coming across patronising, maybe that’s just how I write but not how it was intended. I do think though I was fairly nice to fredanon in the original post. I only tried to advise them on how to handle their own emotions being affected by somebody’s elses decisions. I actually felt their response was quite harsh when I only mentioned them to help them.

My overall point was not to say you can’t have an opinion. I have no right to say that. There’s nothing wrong with not liking fillers and voicing that you don’t. As I said before I only took issue with when I felt your opinions on these things made you dislike the person, or calling them ugly, rather than disliking what they have had done. Of course there are times when the person themselves is just dislikeable.

It was also about just bringing general awareness that having such strong opinions can affect other people to those they were directed at. Like would I feel comfortable turning off anon for you to see my profile picture knowing you would have an opinion of my personality or maybe thought I was ugly if I looked a certain way? I feel like that is perhaps the best example for you to understand my point.

But again, that is only my opinion. And like you say it is an open discussion, there is no ‘right or wrong’ answer as such and there are some points we can both agree on.

And to fredanon. The reason I’m getting in touch is because it was a public discussion on a blog where you can submit so I don’t think I did wrong. I don’t think it’s really comparable with getting in touch with any of those people, because they post themselves rather than opinions so of course it would be odd to tell them what you think when they’ve said nothing. There’s nothing wrong with having a gossip, I don’t think I’ve said that. I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with making personal observations, so long as they aren’t unnecessarily rude to a specific person.

As I also said above, my original post was not intended for you other than my advice to help you be less emotionally affected by things you may see online.

To be honest I’ve luckily never been judged for anything I do. Even the tan, I’m my own biggest hater for that because it looks awful sometimes🤣 I agree people’s opinions don’t matter if you like yourself, but your original point was that it was sad these girls don’t like themselves.

Both of you seem nice, I’ve never thought otherwise even with having different opinions on this. Like I said above I don’t have a problem with people who don’t like it, it was just when opinions turn into personal attacks. As much as it is Amelie’s blog, it is also open to other users to debate for as long as she makes it so. And I have never said ‘don’t post this or that’, I was just expressing how it can come across sometimes to a casual reader. I like to think neither of you are the type to judge someone based on how they look

Oh I see but....As much as I do understand not wanting to be involved into the convolution of their dating life, see what it made out of us, I am legitimately wondering why (and I'm not saying you are doing it ) in general, people are turning it as a bad thing to do. I used to have interactions with people draping themselves into a better light , kind o purity look for not wanting to be involved in the personal part of their idol. You are like "a better fan" if you are not searching more into it than the performance in sport/music/art /etc.. they perform and nothing else. I get that but I'm not shaming people like me for the cause, those choosing another way to enjoy their passion or idol... I get that some people oversteps and boundaries are crossed but for rugby for example the players themselves asked for more realness and see what they did at tigers giving us the weekly capsule now is really a good example of the transparency and close to crowd direct actions they are taking. It is good for business also to have a story to merch and they vibe on that tigers family (fake sometimes) identity. So having real or fake closeness to your fav player is playing their agenda. Anyways was just thinking that even amongst same fanbase everyone is so judgmental as well. A bit sad.

For example I have been unfollowed and blocked because I had critics over one match and wasn't very proud of Jack's behaviour lately on the pitch. Anyways I am opening up another topic if you are still open to chitchat over here.

I feel just sick in my stomach that it became the new normal to get something done around your 20s... I have seen so many documentaries about surgery because it always fascinated me since the tv serie niptuck and I have seen like weeks ago one about the multiple op. For having your ass done ??? Very scary all the people dying with that one and just because they wanted to fit in. It is such a biggest issue as even medical pharmacy firm are involved in that deadly business...

I personally think it was also a mistake and he looked more handsome with those teeth

:( but he has been bullied a bit so I get that he wanted a change but if we could also cut that the impact others have on us and the validation we always want everything would be so simple. Great we are agreeing on many points.

I think I will simply think about twice but I think it is usually not that deep really even tho I get your point. I think it is mainly frustration to see them also fall for those traps because it really is traps when you see sometimes the changes before after just let say make up ? It is witchcraft sometimes. If it can make you feel better fine but look like an entire different person ??? It feels weird to me.. no wonders dismorphia is taking a step further.. what I also hate is filters ? As everyone is on constant pressure to achieve irrealistic goals now..

I understand your point but everyone has a first impression based on look alone it is human. Dating apps are over using this human behaviour to a dead end but it is only normal? I mean according to your tastes , origin, education you will judge on look first obviously. What you need to is surpass that and not let it the only criteria but thinking there are people not judging on look is too irrealist. You do that daily even on common object.. I guess blind people cannot but otherwise ?

I really hope sometimes it could come from a place were really they do that just for enjoyement and to an extent I think on some parts it might be possible like makeup to be creative not only to cover but with surgery I don't think so.

I will not judge only on that , that is for sure and will try to understand the reasons behind anything but yes in that society look is important unfortunately.

Okokok let's face it 2 min here and let's be real tho ? I really have like MAX 10 people who aren't bots interracting with my post so the chances a casual reader come across it or a wag type girl come across this tumblr are close to non existent but I appreciate you give this blog some value and rate it that much. Yes it is internet and at the minute it is not completely under private settings but I can change that anytime and mostly my audience is close to zero. So I am not offending a lot of potential inexistent people.

0 notes

vbug · 1 year

Text

daddy issues and my hetero relationships

falling in love with a man (whether it is reciprocated or not) has been one of the biggest pondering events for me. i have, in a sense, let go of everything i am without him here. i moved and lost everything, and i knew him before this, but then he hadn’t made his imprint yet. for a while out here i was still living in cali spiritually, and this applied to my love life as well. i had realized before i left that my high school crush also had a high school crush and that crush was me, and in my head i had every intention of moving back to state when i could. so i talked to him and carried this relationship around with me as if i was still there. this was just a pause, we’d resume by summer.

but i met ******* on a manic night with my friends and i laughed about it when it happened. i didn’t think much of him or it or any of this, and i didn’t even consider him a part of me for a while. i see everyone i love as pieces of me, platonic or not, and that’s the problem with this. he asked me on a date first, and it was shocking as i had never met a boy who approached me first like that. i mean, of course there were guys who asked to link, and of course there were guys interested, but they’d always have a second motive. we’d always fuck, or argue about fucking, or some other sexual things and it angered me. it pissed me off for what it’s worth because i am a person with a heart and a stomach and ten toes and fingers. not just a hole.

for a long time i genuinely believed i was just a hole.

so when he’d took me on this date, i found myself geeked throughout the day when he never asked to fuck or made me feel like i owed him something, even though he paid for it all and drove me everywhere, at the end of the day all he asked for was a bit more time and some rest. i get butterflies just thinking about it.

he noticed so much about me and he was gentle and soft, and it made me shy and nervous, and there was this strong pull from myself to become a mother. and i would grab him some napkins to eat with or i would hold his food while he was driving (he wouldn’t want to ask for help so he’d drive with one hand, holding it in the other). and i spoke gentle and got comfortable and soon became someone i had hoped to be my entire life.

soon thereafter i felt like i missed him everyday and i only wanted him, not another person in another state i had left, or another person in another state i had migrated to. i just wanted him wherever that would take us.

but i come here to say, that i saw a tik tok of some girl who said she wanted a boyfriend to cure her daddy issues, and although he’s not my boyfriend (officially yet!!) i can say that, in fact, being in love like this hasn’t cured much, but instead it has expanded them ten fold and made them feel a bit unbearable. i could have had a good dad.

the problem does not come in when i think of how he wasn’t one, he is a man and i had held this idea in my mind of what a man was. i’d believed most men were sexual and aggressive and a dog in heat, as sad and unfair as it seems. but i had no sense of who people were. i didn’t have a mom and i didn’t grow up with a good example of a dad and i wanted to see the best in men but i didn’t know how. so when ******* came around i recognized who he was as a person rather than a man, and i realized oh! a man can be a human!

i found myself mourning a what if, a could be. why did i grow up with such putrid treatment? i could have had a good dad. he could’ve been just like this boy i had met, and i wouldn’t have to fall in love and become vulnerable and i’d began to get angry and scared, and i contemplated myself. i didn’t want to keep talking to him, i wanted to block my blessings, because of this obsession of what could’ve been.

it’s hard. i feel naked sometimes, and i feel my eyes tear up sometimes (for no reason in my conscious mind, however i’m sure my subconscious knows). and i hate it a lot of the time. feeling this way. because who am i? i am a person outside of my struggles, i am a person without my god. my god almost killed me and i lived, and now i’m here.

******* was placed in my life (now) at the loneliest pinnacle of my life. i’m so grateful i could cry.

it’s scary because i can’t lose him. he’s been here so long, and during a time when i lived without him he was here too. so i worry a lot about the universe taking him away from me.

but i’m learning to breathe through fear and take risks. and i’m scared so much all the time, and that’s ok. but i should try and do my best and let him in because i shouldn’t let my past determine who i become and what i do and who i love (if those outcomes aren’t what i want). and at the end of the day, the least i could say, is that i love with everything in me. and i do what i can to be a good piece of him. even if i’m not perfect or pretty or blessed with riches, i can say that i love completely.

april 6 2023, 3:47 am - suki lee <3

#love #daddy issues #love prose #<3333 #personal rant #some introspection #tik tok #dating people can’t cure everything #feeling loved is important #but not just romantically #girl blogging

0 notes

hattiewritesalot · 2 years

Text

~Loser~

Young!Sirius Black x gn!reader

Summary: Sirius loves to tease and mock you, thinking it was all fun and games. But what happens when he takes it too far, and has to try and repair the damage he has done?

Warnings: OH BOY, angst angst angst, sad reader, few swear words, Sirius being a dick. (ALSO THERE'S AN ANDREW GARFIELD REFERENCE IN THIS. ENJOY.)

A/N: Reader's house hasn't been mentioned fully, but I do mention them being quite smart and into reading. However, that doesn't automatically make them a Ravenclaw ;)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sirius Black was a name you were certainly familiar with, but one you were barely fond of.

Any mention of the dark-eyed beauty left girls all around you swooning and crying foolish comments like, 'Oh Sirius, I've loved him for so long!' and 'I wish he would love me!', it made you want to gag.

Ever since you first started at Hogwarts, Sirius had been nothing but rude to you, making little comments about your hair, your face, your love of reading, anything he could he would mock you about.

That all started in the 1st Year. Now it was the 5th, and you were starting to get tired.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The day had started off rather nicely, you had done quite well in your Charms class and didn't make a complete fool of yourself in your Quidditch class.

You were currently on your way to Potions, enjoying a thorough conversation with Lily Evans, when James Potter's gang walked past you both. Sirius just so happened to shove into you, making you stumble and almost drop your books.

"Watch where you're going, loser." He called out, making his friends snicker.

Lily frowned as you tried to hide your tearful eyes. "Leave them alone, Sirius!" She yelled at him, fixing your hair and wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

Once they were gone, she leant over and whispered in your ear. "Don't listen to him, (Y/N)," she said, rubbing your arm in a comforting fashion, "He's just delusional." You nodded, leaning into Lily a bit more.

You exhaled deeply and plastered a fake smile onto your face before walking into Potions and sitting behind your cauldron.

'Everything is fine,' you tried to tell yourself, but nothing could heal the aching in your heart from Sirius' words.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Potions went by rather quickly, and it was nearly the end of the day. 'Thank Merlin,' you thought to yourself, wanting nothing more than to return to your dorm and get some much-needed sleep.

You only had one more class, Herbology, which seemed absolutely wonderful at the time. You excelled in Herbology, your teacher Herbert Beery considering you the best in his class.

But, alas, the moment you walked into the classroom, your grin faltered and your heart sunk to your stomach.

Of course they had to be in your class, of course they did.

James, Remus and Peter sat next to each other in a row, opposite to where you and Marlene McKinnon sat, and Sirius was sitting on the table, yelling in a dramatic voice about something irrelevant.

You took a nice deep breath before taking your seat next to Marlene, who offered you a sympathetic smile.

Sirius noticed you almost immediately, hopping off the table and muttering something in James' ear, making them both laugh out loud. You only heard one word. 'Loser'.

He looked like he was about to make a rude comment towards you, but was stopped by Professor Beery walking in.

"Alright everyone, can anybody tell me what abilities you may possess if you eat gillyweed?"

Come on, this was easy.

Your hand shot up in the air and you were immediately asked for the answer.

"If gillyweed is eaten, the consumer will possess fish-like abilities. For example, being able to swim very well and breathing underwater."

You heard small fits of laughter from the group opposite you, but you tried not to pay them any attention.

"That is correct, well done Mx (L/N)."

"Yeah, well done Mx (L/N)" You heard Sirius mocking the professor's comment, to which Peter began laughing.

Mr Beery payed no attention to him, instead moving on by placing small samples of the magical seaweed in front of everybody.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Despite how much you enjoyed Herbology, that class was horrendous.

Throughout the entire lesson, Sirius and his merry little crew would not stop picking on you! Constant teases and comments about how you were a teacher's pet, a nerd, how you apparently think you're smarter than everybody else.

Safe to say, the moment Herbology was over, you grabbed your bags and ran out of the door, Marlene and Alice close behind you.

Your pace slowed when you thought you were finally away from Sirius, but his loud voice caught your attention and made you flinch.

"Hey! (L/N)! I'm not done with you yet!"

You refused to turn around to look him in the eye, your grip tightening on Marlene's wrist as if to stop her from rugby-tackling him.

"Have I ever told you about how annoying you are? Like, your voice makes my ears hurt and you talk so much!"

Tears began building up in your eyes, your cheeks flushing and your head aching.

"You're nothing but a useless brat, you hear me, loser?"

The hallway fell silent as you finally turned to face him, tears falling freely.

"What did I ever do to you, Sirius?" You asked, your voice lower than a whisper.

"I have been nothing but good to you ever since you came to Hogwarts, and this is how you repay me? By making my life a living hell?"

He tried to speak, but you cut him off before he could say anything. You were tired, you were miserable, you were angry, and Sirius was not going to get away with it anymore.

"I don't know who you think you are, running around and harassing somebody who wants nothing to do with you, but I do know one thing. You are a horrible person, Sirius Black, and you need to learn where you stand."

The tension in the air was so thick you could have grabbed it if you reached your hand out.

"I am not putting up with you anymore, so I suggest you either find someone else to bully, or grow the fuck up you pretentious douchebag!"

You yelled the last bit, sobbing in frustration and full of utter misery.

And with that final word, you turned on your heel and ran all the way back to your dorm, crying in pain. Alice immediately chased after you, pulling you into a warm hug at the end of the corridor, Marlene making her way to the kitchens to get some tea and biscuits.

Lily Evans, having heard the commotion, shoved past the crowd and glared at Sirius, his dark eyes… watery? "Well done, Black, are you happy now?" She too fled in your direction, red hair flying wildly behind her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sirius didn't know how to feel.

Except, he knew exactly how he felt; guilty, angry, stupid.

This was all his fault, what started out as some friendly banter had morphed into unadulterated harassment. And now, nobody could get you out of your dorm. Because of him. Rumours were going around that you spent all of your time sobbing. Because of him. Your friends all in misery without your presence. Because of him.

He had to make it right between the two of you, he had to! But with your heart in pieces and his in denial, he had no idea how to do such a thing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

ayo if this does well I'll make this into a series

(on a serious note, please don't bully people! no matter what you may think, it isn't cool, it's just cruel. be nice to people pls <3)

#sirius imagine #sirius x you #sirius orion black #sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes #ben barnes x you

255 notes · View notes