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morkofday · 3 years

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2020 – a (content creator) year in review

I decided to make this into a mix of these two games I was (kinda?) tagged into so thank you for @leonzhng and @tiesanjiao ♥ I hope you don’t mind me doing it like this ^^ all the questions were just so interesting that I wanted to try!

(bc of the amount of questions, I’m placing them under a cut so that I don’t flood anyone’s dash)

(this is the 2020 year in review that hanyi tagged me to ♥ sorry am so late!)

Top 5 Movies you saw this year

wow tbh I didn’t watch many movies this year as I realized yesterday when I was thinking about this for certain reasons. Or at least I feel like I didn’t watch that many? Nothing really stuck with me it seems.

Because of this, I will only mention two: Parasite and The Old Guard. Those were both wonderful in their own ways and I’m very happy I got to watch them both ^^

Top 5 TV shows you watched this year

this one is difficult bc I watched so many (and forgot even more?) but:

The Lost Tomb Reboot (my introduction to DMBJ. this drama stole my heart and helped me through the tough autumn semester!)

Joy of Life (it’s nuts that this happened during 2020? it feels like it was ages ago)

Kingdom (such a positive surprise and I really hope we get more of this :o I really recommend!)

Detective L (easy, nice aesthetics, amazing costumes. Bai Yu was a delight as Luo Fei)

Sand Sea (I am still baffled by how much I loved this bc I had so many doubts? am happy I did tho)

Bonus: Guardian (bc it has come to stay and the rewatch has been so emotional but so rewarding)

Top 5 songs of 2020

this is a tough one too bc I’ve heard so much new music during 2020 but I will try to put it simply:

Black Swan by BTS (I absolutely adore this song. I listened to it on repeat when it came out at the beginning of the year, I have cried for it a ton, I enjoy every stage I see for it and it’s just a masterpiece. it has also helped a bit with my writing struggles that I’ve felt creeping up on me lately)

Always by By The Coast (an amazing song that always leaves me in my feels. inspires me a lot all the time)

Love me or Leave me by DAY6 (this whole album was a masterpiece and I listened to it on loop for like. two weeks? this was my favorite song on it even if I adored the rest too, especially Zombie)

all of my life by Park Won (listened to this a lot in relation to my xicheng and the wedding I finally got to write for them ;; that’s one good thing that came out of this year tbh)

雨人 by 刘畅 (Liu Chang) (with the Reboot’s ending song, this one is my favorite on that ost. I love Liu Chang’s voice, I loved Liu Sang as a character and as I said, I loved Reboot as a drama. I get super emotional about this ost so I think it defined this year a lot for me)

Top 5 books you read in 2020

All For The Game -trilogy (listened to these as audiobooks but that counts right?)

The Song of Achilles (as an audiobook too and really adored the reader’s voice)

The Smoke Thieves -series (I really just binge read the two first books in this series and am so excited for the next one!)

Call Down The Hawk (love love love)

Guardian novel (am not very into these novels usually but I was positively surprised this time? it was so cool to finally get the original story and compare it with the drama version)

5 positive things that happened in 2020

joined mdzsnet and met all the amazing ppl there and got to become part of this loving community and :’) I’m so thankful, it’s been a joy

learned more about editing? or started doing it regularly. I still can’t do shit but am having fun learning more all the time and I really hope that maybe the upcoming year I can switch to PS and try out giffing?

went to Halsey’s concert! it was in february so a bit before all the hassle with covid happened over here ;; it was super cool and so nice and I just. I love Halsey

fell into the DMBJ hellhole which am very much enjoying. it’s a great universe and the story is so good and the dramas have been so fun to watch and. it feels like a good continuation to The Untamed somehow haha (also brought me a new friend! you’re amazing ashen!! ♥)

started therapy and it’s been... a journey. but towards something better I think? it’s something I would’ve needed ages ago but it’s better late than never I suppose

My Creations

(this is the other part where ali was being super sweet and mentioned me ♥ thank you for being so awesome!)

1. first creation and most recent creation of 2020: wow it’s been a while since I’ve looked at this horrible creation but here ya go jkdhgk [x]. I’ve come a long way from this (and my xicheng has come a long way from this too). most recent one is this xiaoge edit that I absolutely adore [x].

2. one of your favorite creations from 2020: this wwx edit that was part of my agust d2 edit series [x]. I loved to give him blue instead of his typical red.

3. a new style you tried this year and a gifset edit that uses it: this [x] wwx edit which I don’t know if I like or not but I was playing around with the font and all the effects instead of just normal screenshots + coloring. also I just adore the quote.

4. a creation to be proud of: I could mention that xiaoge here but in addition, I will also say this wu xie edit for reboot [x]. I managed to capture my vision so well, I was surprised. for cql, this songxiao edit [x]. I loved how it turned out in the end.

5. a creation that took forever: this wangxian edit [x]. like I’ve said several times, I lost sleep bc of it. I just kept struggling with the third pic and how to place the text there D:

6. your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: this lwj/wangxian edit [x]. I had many ideas for this edit when I first started making it and I never managed to capture my vision in the way I first intended... the pictures I was supposed to use just never fit quite right sigh. I dunno why it was this one that gained all the notes in the end bc I personally think I have better ones too but am still thankful :’D

7. a creation you think deserved more notes: as said, dmbj fandom on tumblr is very small so I really want to say the two already mentioned ones (wu xie and xiaoge) and then my pingxie edits [x] [x]. also these wwx edits which I personally am very happy about [x] [x]. and from my agust d2 series, this yun bros one [x].

8. a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: really just dmbj this year and I’ve already linked all of my creations for that :’D tho I have plans for another pingxie edit and a liu sang edit! oh and maybe I could mention guardian here with this shen wei [x]. I had so much fun while making it (also the quote just haunted me relentlessly until I gave it a moment).

9. a creation you made that breaks your heart: this must be my easter islanders (lwj and jc) edit [x] that just. awoke many thoughts in me? I’m going to put a link to the version where you can read my ramblings underneath :’D

10. a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: my creation for the creator (gif?) challenge that was going around! [x] it was simple and nice to do and I loved the result. also, it was nice to work with jl for a change :’)

11. a favorite creation created by someone else: oh wow ok so this is going to be rough bc I have so many favorites ;; you can look at this post here [x] to see more!

but to love my two taggers am going to say these [x / x] [x] [x] [x] [x] by hanyi (I always love your edits, the colors you choose, the thoughts you put into them (and your humor too!). there are so many cool things you’ve done that I just stay in awe of! I adore all of it ;; ♥) and these [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] by ali (I love all of your gifsets so much, they have such pretty colors and such good scenes, and I am thankful every day that you make all the amazing dmbj content, pls never stop ;; I should go through all of your creations properly one day! I noticed you have sand sea stuff too and let me scream?) ^^ ♥

12. your favorite content creators and blogs that you appreciate: this is going to be a huge list and I’ve already made my love heard for some but no hurt in doing it again so @i-am-just-a-kiddo @ashenwren @tiesanjiao @kholran @lzswy @englishbunnyrocks @leonzhng @aheartfullofjolllly @yibobibo @inkblue-black @cross-d-a @bloody-bee-tea @fytheuntamed @mdzsnet @lifegoesmon @creeds-eagle @underaswift-sunrise @sarawatsaraleo @lan-xichens @mylastbraincql @wangxianbunnydoodles @manhasetardis @distantsnows @ohsehuns @minmoyu @linglynz @highwarlockkareena @yiqiie @aowyn @alienwlw @wangxiians @kingbadcat @sassyassassy @tytangfei @lanzhannnn @skzmxtp @leoyunxi @yoonqiful @softjeon @rapbabenamjoon @ronan-adam @miyakuli @pavusdorian @arsuf @brolinskeep @gawincaskeyy and so many others! (sorry for all the random ppl on this list that I’ve never even talked to ^^’ just know that you make my dash a wonderful place! ♥)

I won’t tag anyone separately here but everyone who’s already been tagged or sees this is free to do this (or link me posts if you’ve done these already!) ♥ have a nice day everyone!

#tag game #wow this took ages #am sorry am late #thanks for tagging me tho!!#i enjoyed this a lot #about me

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thebraingremlinsaremad · 3 years

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Daily Blog #6: August 13, 2021

Okay, okay, I know it's a couples days later, but I can assure you that I did not forget; I purposefully, and kinda without a better option, didn't post on Friday, and you'll see why.

So the day started off pretty regularly: I got up, ate breakfast, got a shower, and then sat around playing games and watching YouTube for a bit.

That was until my friend showed up at my house...

He called me and said to come outside, so I did.

It wasn't long until I got into his car, and we started driving.

I definitely should have been more anxious or nervous heading out, but for some reason, I just sat there with my head absentmindedly poking out the window, not really thinking about it.

I really wish I had grasped the situation a little better.

We got down there after an hour and a half of driving and we parked a bit away because there were so many people there, so many people there, in fact, that we just got some food until it calmed down again.

It was gonna be a great fucking concert.

Hella Mega Tour 2021, originally supposed to be Hella Mega Tour 2020, but postponed for obvious reasons.

We shopped for a tiny bit beforehand, not buying anything, and then headed over to the stadium 45 minutes before the concert was set to start. We were let in about 10 minutes later, and we filled our contraband water bottles that we managed to hide on the way in.

We sat there for a bit, me just listening to music on my Redmi Buds 3 pro.

I love these things.

Pretty soon the music started, and it was The Interrupters; everyone was feeling pretty lazy for this bit.

It's not like they were bad or anything, they were actually pretty good, but I guess everyone was just getting situated and didn't wanna bother using up all of their energy lol.

So The Interrupters' set is up, and they tear down the stage and reset it. Before too terribly long, Weezer starts up, and there's a lot bigger reaction from the crowd than there was before: people knew the songs, like Africa, Buddy Holly, Beverly Hills, and Feels Like Summer to name a few.

I was getting into it a bit, I knew a good few of the songs, I was moving along, I sang a bit, took some video.

What's cool is that I could feel myself moving along the scale, like going from no excitement while no one was playing, then tapping my foot and grooving to The Interrupters.

When Weezer first came on, I was just sitting there like, "alright, this is good shit." Towards the end, I was quietly singing Buddy Holly, their last song for the night.

I say quietly because there was a lot more loudness to come.

I should add that, up until this point, the music had been kinda unbearably loud, the highs really piercing and hitting hard.

Additionally, up until this point, I had been trying my best to document the concert with videos and audio recordings; it wasn't so much about enjoying the concert, for I've always been taught just to record stuff and not worry about the concert.

I don't think I've ever really enjoyed any of the concerts I've ever been to; I was there, but I wasn't. I didn't really know too many of the songs, and I had only listened to the artists in passing, not to mention the fact that my mother had been at every other concert I've been to, which is stifling in itself. I really can't enjoy anything when she's around.

But here we were; it was starting to get dark, and Fall out Boy was coming onstage. The crowd was getting into it with Weezer, and it was time for Fall Out Boy. The energy here had far exceeded both Weezer and The Interrupters, and this went for me as well.

I was sitting there, singing along and still occasionally recording, but I didn't have my phone out too much. I started to dance in my seat with every song, for I knew almost every one: Sugar, We're Going Down, Centuries, My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark, Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy, The Last of the Real Ones, Save Rock And Roll, and Dance, Dance being a few.

Throughout this set, everyone was singing along, but the real fun had yet to begin; the scent of smoke from the flames and fireworks finding its way through the crowd, the music now strong instead of piercing, a sense of unity between everyone in this packed stadium, between people of all walks of life: men, women, children, transgender, cisgender, non-binary, gay, straight, lesbian, ace, black, white, Asian, Mexican, young, old, middle-aged, and everything in between and outside... It didn't matter who you were or where you came from; you were at a fucking party, and everyone was gonna fuck it up once the main act came on stage.

Meanwhile, everyone was more than happy to celebrate with Fall Out Boy and some of their greatest and most memorable tracks.

Part way through Fall Out Boy's set, I decided to get off of my ass and join the growing number of audience members who were really getting into the groove and feeling the music.

It was so close to becoming an explosion of energy once Fall Out Boy was about to leave the stage.

After they left, the set was torn down once again and set up for Green Day.

Their was a low mix of music playing through the speakers all the while things were being set up. Once the stage was set, the music continued for a bit, but was then cut and replaced with a voice and lyrics that everyone knew immediately.

"Is this the real life. Is this just fantasy."

The crowd sings along to every word.

"Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality."

Freddie's voice poured out into the crowd, and the crowd sang them right back.

"Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see"

The song continued, and the whole crowd sang to the very end.

This really goes to show how impactful some people and groups can be on our lives... Although no one at the show was connected to Queen or Freddie Mercury, everyone who came to see these 4 bands still knew this great group.

Once the song was over, a mix of some of the most famous rock anthems began to play:

"We will, we will rock you"

"I love rock and roll"

"Hey, Ho, let's go"

A glorious piece all lead up to the 4 running onstage, Billie Joe Armstrong, Jason White, Mike Dirnt, and Tre Cool, joined now by 2 new members, Jason Freese and Kevin Preston.

All at once, it was an explosion of strong and passionate guitar jamming, soon followed by the drums and vocals of American Idiot. All at once, the crowd was rocking along with bopping heads, stomping feet, and swaying bodies. I only had my phone out to record for a short moment before I put it away and scarcely removed it from my pants for the rest of the concert.

I couldn't help but feel cocky, as a bi/pansexual (idk which one lmao), being allowed to sing the line,

"Well maybe I'm the faggot America"

I was like, "You straight bastards better not be singing that line 🤣"

It was absolutely incredible; the crowd cheered passionately and wholeheartedly at the end of every song and solo, after every quote from the band.

The coolest part about the concert was the fact that everyone just lost themselves in the music, as well as that everyone, without hesitation, followed what Billie Joe said. He says jump? WE FUCKING JUMPED. He tells us to scream? We. Fucking. Screamed. And when he wanted us to sing, we sang. I mean, okay, we were singing the whole time xD. I'm sure we would've sang if he told us to and we weren't already doing so lmao. What he said was our law, and we were doing our jobs as the dutiful citizens of Suburbia by following those laws.

It really is hard to express the level of pure energy at this gathering, especially when it radiates from every point in the packed stadium.

I screamed so loud and hard, and sang so long and passionately, that my voice started to go. But. Guess. What.

When you're at a place like this, no matter what, you just have this insatiable urge to keep going no matter what. When my arm got tired of throwing my fist in the air, I kept fucking going and even used the other arm too.

It's such a strange feeling when you feel like you're about to give out, like your voice is gonna break, or you're gonna collapse from dehydration and exhaustion, but you find around you the strength and power to keep on going, no matter how quickly your vocal health deteriorates.

Ask my friend, I couldn't speak properly after that shit xD. He even threatened to send a video of me talking to my choral teacher, who honestly would have been mad at me lmao.

Meanwhile, Green Day is playing some of their greatest hits, old and new alike, and I knew every single fucking one of them. I sang every song, and only took a break between 2 of them to down my whole bottle of contraband water in 3 seconds flat.

At one point, the band stopped playing, and Billie spoke into the microphone.

"Get your pretty lights out. I wanna see the pretty lights."

Everyone got their phones out and turned the torches on, as per his command.

"Turn the house lights off."

The lights go off, and the stadium is lit up almost as bright as it had been before, but this time with the lights of thousands.

"Look at that."

It was honestly an incredible moment.

That brings me to another point: when you go to a concert, you're not just paying for the music, you're not just paying to see a band, you're paying for an experience.

Let me tell you, this was one hell of an experience.

If you don't leave a concert feeling fulfilled, then the performers didn't do their job of giving you the experience that you paid to be a part of. I'm so happy that these four bands, especially Green Day, were able to deliver.

I really did love every moment of that show, which is such a rarity for me. I'm really happy that my friend took my mother's place. I can't fucking enjoy everything when she's around.

Oh yes, it wouldn't be one of my daily blogs without me talking about how my mother consistently pisses me off. Don't worry, I have some happy shit left to end on.

I swear to fluff though, she always manages to ruin everything for me. When we went to see The Lion King on Broadway, she insisted on coming with. That meant that I wasn't able to relax in my seat because this disgusting woman was sitting next to me and I had to cram myself to the side of my chair away from her. It meant that I wasn't allowed to cry when Mufasa died or during Can You Feel The Love Tonight because I knew I'd get made fun of for it.

I even went to a Fall Out Boy concert before, her refusing to let me go myself, and I didn't sing a single song because she'd just tell me to let the professionals handle it.

And for fuck's sake, the time she compared me trying to fucking validate my existence as a trans person to her wanting a car... That will always fucking piss me off.

Sorry, I got sidetracked. I was talking about how she ruins everything for me.

I literally cannot be myself around her. I've always been judged and ridiculed by my parents, and still am. I can't enjoy anything when they're around because I'm too focused on trying not to get made fun of or yelled at.

That being said, that concert was absolutely fucking incredible. I was with thousands of people who felt the same way that I did, and I could fucking jam out if I wanted to.

Apart from everyone being really on top of their game, and Billie Joe basically not aging since he turned 25, the only really notable thing left to say about the performance was when they pulled a kid guitarist onstage. He played for a bit, and they ended up letting him keep the guitar lmao.

BEST PART IS:

I SAW THE KID AFTER THE CONCERT, AND I WAS LIKE,

"Omg, hey, can I get a selfie with you?"

I was trying to be really low-key and quiet cuz I didn't wanna draw too much attention to him lmao.

The security guard was like, "Yeah, sure, but hurry up."

I TOOK THE PIC REALLY QUICKLY AND THEN HEADED OUT

HERE IT IS

YES, OF COURSE I BLOCKED OUT MY FACE

But I absolutely love the vibes of this photo xD. It's blurry, the lighting is shit, and you can barely make out any details. It has a lot of character, and I would take this over a clean, clear photo any day.

Walking away, the kid's mom said, "You're like, the coolest kid ever now."

Agreed.

Then it was time to go home. Honestly, I didn't feel sad that it didn't last longer, or disappointed that I had to leave. I was actually very satisfied and fulfilled with what happened, which is honestly the way it should be.

Driving home, I stayed awake by sticking my arm out of the window and letting the cold rain hit fast like tiny needles.

I got home.

I passed out.

Although, that was technically on Saturday 🤔

ANYWAY, THIS IS MY LONG ASS BLOG FOR FRIDAY THE 13TH

I hope you enjoyed

Be good people!!!!

-Leonna

#Concert #Green Day #Fall Out Boy #Weezer #The Interrupters #Green Day Concert #Daily Blog #Blog #Trans #LGBTQ #alternative rock #Alternative #Pop Punk #Punk Rock

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lordabovehelpme · 3 years

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Hola! I hope you day has been good so far! :)

I know I am not the only one to feel this but I adore your blog! I, too, and a fellow writer, but I was wondering how did you gain an audience? How did you start from your first post? Did you wait for requests? Or did you just jump right in?

Sorry, that was a lot of questions, but I was just curious as I’m trying to start up my blog! I really look up to you and your blog! 🥰🤩🥸

-🪐

Hello, hon!

First off, let me just tell you how overjoyed I am at the fact that you thought to ask me. When I first read this I had the biggest smile on my face. It means so much to me that you look up to me. Literally, I am crying over here!

Second of all, I wish I had some really good thought out advice for you. But I really don’t, however, I will give you the best advice that I can.

The first time I ever wrote fanfic, it was an idea that had been plaguing my mind for days. I tried to find other fics that would satisfy me, but I just couldn’t. So I sat down and practically said “Fine, I’ll do it myself.” I had no experience writing but I tried to give it my all. I don’t know why, (But I am thankful I did), but I decided to set up a Tumblr account and post it. I had no expectations of it going anywhere.

However, I woke up the next day with so much love and support being shared over my fic. That is the one thing that has really blown me away; How amazing every single person is in this fandom. They offer so much kindness that it has become mindblowing.

Now, what I do when I write is, as cliche as it sounds, I just write. Whatever comes to my mind, I put it down on paper. (Well really a google doc but we don’t need to know the details) Or if I am laying in bed and something pops into my mind, I write it down on any paper I can find. Now, I just have a pen and notebook that permanently stays on my night desk. Oo, also, whatever you write down doesn’t have to be elaborate, just whatever will make you remember your ideas.

One piece of advice is, when you are writing and you seem to be in a good flow, don’t let little details stop you. If you have no idea where to go next, or what a character should say, just add those handy three little dots, and continue on. Don’t get caught up in the little things! Sometimes I have a plan for a fic, other times I have no idea where I am going with it. But those are always the most fun to write, at least for me.

Writing, for me, is like a puzzle. It has little pieces that when put together, make one really beautiful picture. However, there is no right way to put those pieces together, just whatever seems to work for you.

Now, for how I gained an audience. Man, I really could not tell you. I am still flummoxed with how many people interact with me. However, I would say, make sure to use tags. I know that when I first started reading fanfic I would just read everything under the recent side of a certain tag. Other people do the same thing, so using tags is a huge thing!!! Use gifs and photos, to draw people's eyes to your fic. Do a small summary, make them want to read your fic! Capture them with that first paragraph!!!!

Get yourself out there! Ask for feedback, maybe find a friend who could read your stuff and give you an honest review. I edit my stuff at least twice before I post it. Read through it with a fine pick comb. Read it out loud, does it flow right? Do you stop on any words? Did you misspell anything? Did you use the right version of their, there, or they’re? How about your and you’re? I always find that these simple little things are the ones I often look over, it sucks!

How did I start receiving requests? Again, I have no idea. I just woke up one day and saw that someone had put one in. I was like, hell yeah, let's do this! And I started to write for it. Usually, once people see that you are open to taking requests, they’ll start to ask themselves. It’s kinda a “get the ball rolling” situation. You could also just do a post saying that you are taking requests. In addition, just keep posting, at least semi, regularly. (I need to get better at this too.) Get people to keep seeing your account.

Did I just jump right in? Hell yeah! As I do with everything in my life, why not start big. Like I said before, I was not expecting myself to blow up this much, I still find it crazy. But I just started posting little stories I had written without paying attention to the note count.

It’s easy to become hyper fixated and base your worth off of how many likes you get, how many reblogs you get, and how many people comment on your stuff. In my case, a few months ago, Tumblr was not sharing my stuff so I would only average about five likes per post. Sure I was discouraged, but I had taught myself not to base myself off on those numbers. Thankfully, it has been sorted out, but do you get what I am trying to say? You should be posting for yourself, not a number on a screen.

I try to write as much as I can now. Even if I don’t want to post anything, I still try to do even a small creative writing. You’ll notice that at the beginning of my masterlist, my writing is not as good as my writing now, and probably in a few months, my writing will be so much better. It all just comes down to practice.

Descriptive words are your friend!!! If it’s one thing I’ve learned from all my writing classes, it is to set the scene. The setting is such a big part of a story, and yet some people tend to look over it. Really try and immerse yourself and your characters into the plotline.

Try not to have your sentences start with the same word over and over again. Also, break up your sentence structure. Sure you want a nice flow, but it doesn’t want to become monotonous. In addition, try not to use the same words within your sentences. Just as speaking, when someone says a single word a ton, the listener will become fixated on that word and not pay attention to the rest of them. So, moral of the story, break it up! Find new cool words to use. I always have a tab open where I can just put the word I want to use and look up cool new synonyms.

But at the end of the day, this should be something you enjoy. I’ve seen way too many writers get burnt out and start to view their writing as a job. If you notice that this is starting to happen, take a step back and ask yourself why? Is it the genre? Are you just not feeling the vibe of a story? Are you just in a funk? Etc. Take a break until you feel better! Self-care is the best medicine!

In conclusion, thank you so much for asking me. I wish I had some vast knowledge of fanfic writing, but I really don’t. I am still learning every day. But that is the best part! I love looking back at my old writing and going, “wow I really have grown.” It always feels so rewarding.

I hope this helps you, I know it’s kind of long, but I thought they were all good points. If you want, please tag me when you start to post, I would love love love to read your stuff! Obviously, I understand if you don’t want to, no hard feelings there.

Thank you again, darling. If you feel like no one is supporting you, remember you have me over here ready to help you in any way, shape, or form! I love you so much, and good luck!

#lordys thoughts #lordys advice #🪐 anon #writing #writing advice

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eliza-meh · 4 years

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How I Survive Life.....What’s this all about???

When there is a crisis, we as human beings always want to help. Its in our nature. Through physical help or moral support; sharing a recipe; a way of doing something to make life easier; a message to say your not alone or just a funny video.

The age of technology makes this so much easier. The ability to phone someone at the touch of a button and see them as you call them; 10 years ago just connecting just connecting to the internet took the amount of time you could phone somebody, make a cuppa and practice your handstands. (I’m not one of these back in my day people, no. Well not yet anyways)

You can post videos online of motivational speeches or we can do share quotes, upload photo’s that people 3000 miles away, who you have never met can see. The outreach of information is unreal.

In this such crisis never had we needed the use of technology more to keep in touch.

During this crisis, for some we take the time to do what we can to continue to work. Fitness- we make do with what we have. For some, they don’t know what to do- For others we take this time of isolation to learn or do something new; or something we have always wanted to do.

For me I have always wanted to sit and write. I have always been too busy, too distracted to write. My brain going into overdrive every time I sit down, or by the time I have sat down what, I have wanted to write has flown away. I wish there was a machine were my thought would automatically turn into words, that would not only make things less time consuming but solve my anxiety of structuring sentences, thinking about grammar, spelling and help me focus on my content.

Oh I say as I notice the dictate button on the corner of the word document-Let's see if this works…..

Using dicate……oh it does fantastic however I hate the sound of my own voice. Although I still have to think about grammar. Got a full stop started delete started no just posted deleted not riot a care dictate has trouble understanding the Hulk St home accent no home hat H you LL ho Just kind of fun this is kinda fun. Maybe not…….

It had trouble understanding my accent…… So I guess I'll have to type.

On March 23rd 2020 the UK government announced the Lockdown of the UK. At the beginning of March covid-19 (a strain of the coronavirus) hit the UK; a virus that had been sweeping the edge of the planet. The virus attacks the lungs and the immune system. For most people the virus will have mild symptoms, but for some the virus can be deadly and we are likely to see many more deaths. Social distancing has become the norm over the last few weeks and my hands are on their 4th layer of skin, but we need to do our bit to try and save as many people as possible. Yes it means we don’t see our families, friends or even watch and take part in sport; my one time I’m allowed out my house to exercise I now fully appreciate and have quickly come to learn to pack in as much as I can to my one and only daily venture out the house, otherwise I sit, procrastinate and let my anxiety take over.

So here I sit- after week one of lockdown, by myself, at the dining room table. My homemade pizza (I know right homemade pizza- may as well brush up on my cooking skills to, I’ll post my recipe later) I have decided to start to write. I’ve told myself not to think about my grammar, I just want to write. I just want to see where this writing journey takes me.

And now 26th May 2020 after almost 2 months of procrastinating, writing paragraphs from time to time, I decided to take the leap of creating a platform where I can post. Like most people I needed a kick up the backside to get me going making myself write, even if its complete crap, to post something. (as well as a helping hand from a friend who regularly messages me have you posted yet, and giving me encouragement…..thankyou so much)

Most of the time its finding something to write about. I then thought about life.

My life- it’s not anything special- everyday- but the everyday is what I find relatable. Like someone conquering Everest is extraordinary and climbing Everest is on my bucket list; reading bout it is captivating. The views, the technique the struggles. But what about the views, the technique and struggle of life. Why can’t I share the simplicity of the everyday as well as the extra-ordinary? Like the impact of reading a book. Or the struggle of carrying a full washing basket up my own version of Everest (the stairs- I have my own technique for this by the way, and recently found a painful way of getting down) or sharing a story of the past, talking with someone you have never met before, a funny joke, a really cool tv programme, the product you’ve used, a craft project. The times that are happy the times that are sad. Finding a life hack or sharing positive/negative experience. Or your opinion. Like I think ever one should be entitled to their opinion, good or bad but I also feel people should be prepared that others think differently. Because each and every one of us is subjective to every aspect of life. Which is why I decided on How I Survive Life. My own life survival story for the and the trivial. Yeah there is probably a million other blogs like this- but none have the same experiences of me. We all see life through a different pair of eyes.

A little ask from me………

Now please- all I ask from you is your support- I always get these amazing ideas in my head “I’m going to do them”- but then I never have the balls to do it and I freeze, have a melt down and go back to my safe space and hide away from the world. I never take that Leap.

Well now I’m sucking up the courage- and I’m taking that jump.

I’m putting myself out there and taking every opportunity I can. You never know what’s going to happen, you never know what’s around the corner. I’m going to give it a go. So I’m asking you to hold my hand and support me, read my stuff, like it if you want, give me feedback, suggest your ideas too- oh I’m open to this!!

I’m sooo open to sharing ideas, sharing experiences and recommendations. Give me constructive feedback (now this is not slating, slagging off, trolling- its suggesting ways to improve, offering guidance)…..But if your going to hate it then don’t follow it, don’t read it, stay away from my posts- because this world is so full of negativity and bull that adding more to it is just not going to help. If you want to give me negativity than follow it through with things that could help, things to change and make it better. There is one thing that seems to be lacking in this world and that is helping each other. No person has made it by themselves there has always been someone giving them constructive criticism to guide them.

So here goes……. Welcome to my world, my life, and my brain. Welcome to ‘How I Survive Life’….. And I do hope you enjoy reading!

Lots of Love

Eliza-Meh xx

#life #lifestyle #whatsthis #whatsthisallabout #howisurvivelife #support

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

Text

Like, the thing you guys gotta understand is my loud opinions are far more defense mechanism than they are “I think I am right and nobody else is ever and people should listen to me only.”

Nah. They’re literally just me being as loud and as visible with the stuff that matters the most to me as is possible....because that actually minimizes the flack I catch for y’know...stuff I’m truly passionate about believing.

For example, my online behavior and tendencies in fandom on tumblr specifically....were largely shaped by my experiences in Teen Wolf fandom. Where I started out being as civil as possible wherever possible, and gradually got louder and angrier over time because THAT DIDN’T MATTER. Its why tone policing is bullshit, through and through. Because the real issue was never HOW I was saying what I was saying, it was what I was saying at all.

See, I flat out don’t like the fandom fave Stiles, as he’s portrayed on the show, and never did. Not from day one. He bothered the fuck out of me from the pilot. And this is a very controversial opinion in TW fandom, and was far more so back when I was first becoming ‘known’ in fandom, whatever the fuck that means or is even worth (seriously, its not worth a lot. You guys, stop putting so much weight in the visibility of more ‘well known’ bloggers....that doesn’t directly translate into the influence you think it does, especially when those bloggers are still holding what the majority of a fandom deems ‘unpopular’ opinions).

But back in my early TW days, I wasn’t really ‘known’ at all, for my blog and my opinions on the show. I was better known for my fics, which at the beginning, I was writing and updating fairly quickly. I’ve published somewhere just shy of 100,000 words of TW fanfic....and the vast majority of that was all written in just the first year or two in fandom.

And the thing is, for people who just found me on Ao3 and not on my blog originally....they weren’t as immediately aware of my bias against Stiles. Because I hate bashing ANY characters in fic. Even ones I don’t like, because the point of fanfic for me, is to FIX my personal issues with the source material, improve on the things *I* especially dislike....so even though I dislike Stiles on the show, in my better known TW fics, he was still present, and I was still trying to be as true to his core characterization as possible, WHILE addressing what I considered his core problem areas.

The kicker being.....a LOT of Stiles-fans LIKED my fanfic depiction of Stiles. A lot of S/terek fans included. You look at my TW fics like Where Wild Things Are or Lightning Crashes in particular....you’re gonna find a LOT of comments from self-proclaimed S/terek fans and Stiles stans....and those are just the ones I didn’t delete when I was forced to aggressively moderate my comments when a lot of those same commenters got loud and angry at me.

Which they did see....once they started connecting my Ao3 account to my blog, and my opinions on the show in general, which were starting to be more widespread in fandom due to some better known mutuals. I mean, its not like it was a big secret. My Ao3 pen name for my Teen Wolf fic is bigskydreamin’. It....wasn’t really anything I felt I needed to clarify, lmao.

But once people realized that the very same writer they liked for his take on Stiles very vocally disliked the show’s Stiles because of behaviors and scenes that I quote unquote deemed abusive (which I do, and stand by to this day).....they went fucking APESHIT on me. Like.....I can not even TELL you the extent of the nasty comments, anons, emails and reviews I got from some of the very same people who previously were glowing in their praise of my fics, especially the Stiles scenes.

All because I didn’t like the show’s depiction of certain behaviors and toxic dynamics, and set out to improve these things in my fic while being true to the characterizations....and which they had LIKED....until they realized my take didn’t come from a place of “oh I think Stiles is just the best.”

And then the fateful day came when one of them flat out asked me why I didn’t ship S/terek and if I would ever write S/terek....

And I had the balls to answer honestly. LOL. I wasn’t even insulting or offensive...just blunt. I told the person that I have serious issues with S/terek because of the power dynamics and the way they’re romanticized within fandom and most fics rather than called out and addressed, and I said I would never have any interest in tackling these topics myself in any kind of S/terek fic because my own past with abuse makes the ship just inherently unappealing to me because of how I perceive it, and I feel zero desire to ‘fix’ a thing I wouldn’t want on any level to begin with.

And they went and told all their friends and lol, RIP the rest of my TW years - and this was probably back in like, Year Two of my time in TW fandom. For a more accurate estimate, look for when I lost the will to update my big fics, because like. What was the point? Any positive reaction I got from updates at the time was just drowned out by the hate I got for adding to a story many of them were still reading, judging by the way my hit counts were still pretty steady with what they’d been with previous updates.....but that at the same time, they were heaping all kinds of shit on me for just....having opinions they didn’t like at the same time as I wrote stuff they still DID like.

The juxtaposition of those two things....lol. Man. Its a trip, I’ll tell you that.

And to be honest, the same thing has been happening ever since I started being more involved in Batfandom. You guys know how I reblog a lot of my own posts? That’s not something I used to do like, ever in TW fandom...because all the content I was making then was fresh. But I’ve always been a fan of Dick Grayson even while I was knee deep in TW fandom, so my longtime followers can tell you....I’ve been making these posts about him all along. A lot of my more popular Dick Grayson posts were written years ago, before I started getting active in this fandom....which only really happened over last summer.

And the difference in TONE in a lot of my posts, is a lot of the ‘tamer’ posts.....which express the exact same viewpoints I have as in my more heated posts.....is because my ‘tamer’ posts were written as one-offs that I just wrote in passing while in a fandom that generally didn’t have any interest in my Batfamily musings....which did not at all stop me from still making those posts from time to time....because I don’t post ANYTHING for the sake of getting notes. Its literally just shit that’s on my mind, that I want to put out there for people to do whatever the hell they feel like doing with them.

And so most of the posts I reblog, that seem more ‘mild’....its because I wrote them years ago, they got like maybe ten notes at the time, lol, and I’m reblogging them now because I have more of a platform and think they’d still be of interest to fans of that content specifically....but the stark tone difference is because when I wrote THOSE....nobody was jumping on my back the second I hit post to tell me how obviously wrong and stupid I was for not getting this or that or that and having this opinion on this character or just “caring too much about fictional characters.”

Like, you get what you give, people. You throw shit at me, eventually, I’m gonna start throwing shit back, and no, you don’t get to be pissed about that when all the evidence is there that I’m MORE than capable AND willing to have a good time just by myself....and more than happy to have people join in....as long as nobody’s being a douchebag. But if you get your douchebaggery on and start making my life hell....I’m gonna start raising my voice, because that shit fucking sucks.

The sheer vitriol I got for simply stating that I have no interest in writing a S/terek dynamic I see as inherently toxic due to the inherent power imbalances, BECAUSE of my own history as an abuse and rape survivor, which I was frank about.....it blows my mind. People are literally OFFENDED that in response to questions THEY asked me, I said....I do not like this thing, because of how it affects my feelings about my own trauma.

Like, for years I have gotten monthly hatemail in my asks for spreading toxicity and hate through the TW fandom and ‘hurting real abuse/rape survivors by misleading people and calling S/terek pedophilic and misusing terms like that’....

And the utterly hilarious thing (in that not at all sort of way), is I have never ONCE called S/terek pedophilic, or anyone who ships it a pedophile. Never. Once!

You know why? Its not even because of my own personal view on whether or not that’s an accurate label for that ship....its because IT WASN’T EVEN RELEVANT TO THE SPECIFIC CRITICISMS I’VE ALWAYS FOCUSED ON MAKING.

Like, I literally never even got AROUND to expressing whether or not I thought that was a label that applies to that ship, because I’ve always had plenty of thoughts just purely on the specific power imbalances as I break them down in my view of that pairing....REGARDLESS of what you label those power imbalances. I don’t fucking CARE about the terminology. My concern has never once been what the fuck you call it, so I never made it ABOUT what anyone calls it, and purely focused on why I think it isn’t healthy just in specific terms.....and yes, pulled from my own personal experience and knowledge of abuse to back up why I feel that way, and to clarify why I feel so strongly about it.

But does any of this matter? Nope. Because all people cared about when directing hate my way for my oh so controversial opinions was not what was accurate to my views, but what was effective in discrediting them.

And the same shit is already happening in Batfandom, and its obnoxious, and tired, and yeah, its why I’m already kinda coming out of the gate hot and heavy, because within like....less than two months of me starting to post more regularly about Batfam specific content and getting some followers who have large fandom presences and boosted my posts to a pretty broad fandom circulation....

Its like, welcome to TW fandom, rinse and repeat.

Hardly any of the actual flack I’ve gotten in this fandom so far has anything whatsoever to do with my opinions on the Batfam....its almost all about the fact that I don’t like noncon/pedophilia/incest fics and am critical of the permissive attitude fandom spaces have cultivated around this stuff. And of the fact that I think the culture of false positivity fandom spaces try to enforce at the expense of marginalized fans who try to speak up about their experiences with racism and other forms of oppression and bigotry online, like, is similarly bullshit. Like, the thing people don’t like me for most of all, is that I’m LOUD and OPINIONATED about saying that these things specifically, fucking suck, and here are my own personal experiences that make me feel that way.

And notice the lack of actual argument with my actual posts. Notice how its all about ME....my volume....my ‘irrationality’....my obvious mental health issues (I’ve heard that one a couple times already, lol - no shit, I’m ADHD, have longterm PTSD, and a literal lifetime’s worth of trauma I’m still actively unpacking and sorting through, lol, what the fuck was the revelation in me having mental health issues? I’m not shy about it, and I don’t use it as an excuse for being an asshole.....guess what? I’m an asshole sometimes, and I can absolutely point to when and where I’ve been one. I’m not hiding it, and I’m not hiding behind mental illness).

Plus, y’know there’s my ‘fake wokeness’ because a white man can’t have any possible reasons or experiences that lead to him choosing to prioritize supporting people of color in fandom over other white people while still firmly being motivated by things that are born of his own life and his own lane, and just *gasp* happen to make me care more about certain shit than other white people do, like.....I’m as transparent as I am about my feelings and motivations for a REASON. I’m not UNAWARE of any of this or how I come across.....the thing so many of you don’t get is that none of this is a multiple choice test where you have to circle the right answer and you pass, you’re a good ally or a good influence or a good person.....all of this is just life. Its just us all making choices and everyone else reacting to those choices in whatever the hell way they choose.

I’m not trying to win any points with anybody.....if I DID care about cultivating my own influence in fandom, I MORE than have the communication skills to couch my most controversial opinions in language that would be more palatable to the MOST influential corners of fandom, draw more people in, be less alienating or distancing to people who have a kneejerk defensive reaction to a lot of the things I say....like, however influential I may or may not be in various fandoms and various fandom circles....I am perfectly aware of how I could say or do things differently to have MORE influence in broader reaching circles....I just fucking hate that kind of game playing.

I’m the opposite of trying to win points....I just want the people who are around me and who follow me to actually RESPECT me enough to fucking listen to me and what I have to say....because otherwise, how do either of us even benefit? What’s the point? Who’s gaining anything from any interaction?

So yeah. I’m loud, and vocal, and opinionated....I say exactly what’s on my mind and I don’t apologize for it. I’m an asshole to people who are an asshole to me first, and sometimes I fuck up and I’m an asshole to people who don’t deserve it. And if you call me on that and I pull my head out of my ass soon enough to notice in time that you’re right and I owe you an apology, I’ll do that! And if you don’t want to call me on it and choose to take the offense I caused as a reason not to follow me or interact with me any further....that’s perfect valid and understandable too, and absolutely your right! Do what you need to do for you!

But the one thing that will never ever ever win you any points with me and that I just despise more than anything....is the fundamental lack of awareness, and lack of respect for me and what I’ve lived through....that the S/terek readers of mine who started the chain of events that led to me settling on my current approach to interacting with fandoms.

That thing where some people in various fandoms think its perfectly acceptable and reasonable to like some of my fan content....but then get pissed and upset with me because I don’t like all of the same things you do, think all of the things you do, and am judgmental about various ships you might have or fics you might read or write......and then take this out on me.

Nuh uh. Not okay. Never okay. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, I DO NOT SIT THERE AND TAKE THAT SHIT.

Because the thing the people this describes seem incapable or unwilling to grasp is....

For all your talk of “don’t like/don’t read” and telling me and other survivors to take responsibility for curating our own fandom content and experiences and avoiding things that might trigger us....

Even when I TRY and do that to the absolute BEST of my ability.....some of you still get pissed at me and go on the offensive because I don’t want to interact or be around certain content or people who are inspired to create that content....because of what it brings up for me, because of my various past traumas.

Like, that’s what it boils down to, IN MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. People liking what I have to say, until I say I don’t like something they don’t like and here’s why....and then its open fucking season, because how dare I not want to associate with them because that association is likely to expose me to triggering things they also at the same time expect me to take responsibility for avoiding, so as not to blame anyone else for my exposure to such things.

Can you please maybe understand why that fundamentally DOES NOT FUCKING WORK??

And is not only utterly unreasonable, but offensive to ask of someone who’s just trying to participate in fandom and have a good time and simply STATE when and where relevant, that there are things that impact my ability to have a good time, just as there are things that impact the ability of other fans to enjoy themselves alongside you as well?

Or are we ever going to get around to some people admitting that their fandom experiences have absolutely nothing to do with caring about the ‘community’ people swear up and down exists, and solely prioritize their own personal enjoyment, and FUCK everyone else? (While meanwhile, also being all: but why aren’t they making more of the stuff that I at least was enjoying when they weren’t bitching about not having fun here?’ LOL. Can’t ever forget that part.)

Its just.

You all are fucking exhausting sometimes, I swear. And that doesn’t mean I’m going anywhere, because I have as much right to be here as anyone, and I DO still manage to have a good time a lot of the time in spite of this crap, but that’s never gonna stop me from saying I have a right to have more of a good time and less of a literally triggered time, if any of you might ever care to prioritize that for me as much as you ask me to prioritize your good times for you.

This isn’t me doing anything other than saying....you all are fucking exhausting sometimes, I swear. Because sometimes, I just want to say that. Sometimes, it feels good to say that. And at every time, I have every damn right to say that in any way, shape or form I want to say it, at any volume I want to say it at, because none of this is me yelling at anyone, it is every single one of us sitting safe and comfortable in front of a screen of some kind, reading someone else express themselves and deciding how we want to take that expression and what’s being expressed, and how we want to react or not react in turn.

Like....just...its that fucking simple. That is literally all so much of this fucking ‘discourse’ is. People experiencing life in different ways than other people, and some people wanting to improve their experiences, some people wanting their experiences to stay just the way they are, some people wanting to ignore every experience that doesn’t fit their expectations or desired interactions, and other people just.....idk, just being fucking high, let’s face it, half the shit on this site is just plain weird and I like to assume the best of humanity and just chalk it up to half this site’s user base being high as fuck most of the time they post, LOL.

*Shrugs* Congrats if you actually read all the way through to the end of this post....like....this is where I reiterate...I have ZERO expectations for this post. I have NO clue how people will react to it, how many or how few people will take it in the way I want it to be taken, especially because *I* don’t even know how I want it to be taken or what I would like to come of it. This is literally just me saying shit that is on my brain in response to my own personal experiences on this site and in this fandom. It is utterly, 100% up to you guys to decide what you do with it from here.

If I have one want for all fandoms, I guess it would just be.....for people to look to their own behavior and motivations and choices and take responsibility for their own shit before projecting onto other people and expecting them to do all of that while still refusing to do any of it themselves.

Too many people keep trying to drive one way on what are supposed to be two-way streets, and being shocked when that repeatedly results in collisions, pileups, accidents and blatant hit and runs.

We all live in a society.

Quit treating other members of that society like they only exist to cater to your existence alone.

17 notes · View notes

redthreadoffate · 4 years

Text

(infinity) days of snow // c. 1 [tom hansen]

a repost, originally posted in my former writing blog

ship: tom hansen x oc

warnings: swearing; edited thrice in a span of…a few minutes so mistakes may be present

notes: i really enjoyed writing this before, super fun

summary: after summer is autumn, .after autumn comes winter. and during winter, there is snow.

(874)

“How’s the job hunting coming along?” Rachel asks. She ties her hair in a ponytail and looks out at the field. It’s the fifteen minute break from soccer practice and she decides to hang out with him instead. “Was working in Highland really giving you a break?”

“I’ve gotten a lot of callbacks,” Tom answers, not taking his eyes off his sketch-pad. “So yes, I’d like to think Highland gave me something. The ones that are accepting me are giving me a time period to think about it, I told them that I had other options and wanted to finish the prospects first. I’m having another interview tomorrow. It’s the last and the most important.”

“Impressive. Sounds like you aren’t even a jobless guy.” Rachel sneaks a peak at what he’s drawing. It’s a girl. “Which firm?”

He takes a deep breath and looks at the younger girl. “Avalanche Corporations.”

*~~*

(858)

Paul puts down his bottle of beer. “You’ve got an interview with Avalanche Corporations?” His jaw drops and his eyes look for any signs of a trick. “That's…huge!”

“That’s why my interview isn’t until two weeks from now. And that’s just me being lucky because someone was too chicken and had to cancel his appointment.”

“Why would anyone want to back out from their appointment in Avalanche?” McKenzie shakes his head. “They’re lucky enough to get an interview.”

Tom shrugs. “Right now, I only care that I’m able to have an interview. Now that I have a chance—”

McKenzie cuts him off, “An interview isn’t a chance.”

“—I might actually be a part of something bigger.”

*~*

(856)

He’d see her on the train sometimes, most of the time she’s looking around, as if she’s hiding from someone. He’d see her in the diner, too, eating regular meals as if they’re the most delicious things in the world. Sometimes at the karaoke bar, he’d find her drinking beer alone. He sees her in the park lots of times, too. But he never gave her much thought. She’s just a very pretty stranger that he regularly sees.

So imagine his surprise when he sees her in the entrance of the theatre talking to strangers who stop to listen but eventually leave her. He sees her sigh with disappointment and put her hands in her pocket. His legs take him to her and he asks, “Are you okay?”

She looks at him and shrugs. “Yeah. Just…,” heaving a breath, “would you like to watch Inception with me? I know you’ve probably seen it already but this theatre does show reruns and I have an extra ticket and I’m not very…I’m not really up to watching it by myself since I was supposed to be with someone and—”

“Sure,” he says, “why not? I was planning on watching that anyway.”

*~*

(858)

“And did you enjoy it?” McKenzie asks.

Tom looks away from the window and to the person in front of him. Paul is waiting for an answer, too. He hesitates and then nods, a small smile forming on his lips. “Yeah, I did.”

*~*

(856)

The night was going greater than he expected. She brings him to Sundae’s Best, an expensive ice cream restaurant, and she orders a treat without even looking at the menu and acting like it’s no big deal. She even asks him to get whatever he desires. “Just get anything,” she urges. And he gets a parfait he has always wanted to try.

He suddenly blurts out to her that had broken up with his girlfriend, Autumn, about a week ago and resigned from his job earlier that morning. She asks him why. “We were both the only candidates for a really big promotion. She’s always wanted it and so I let her have it. Everything was okay but I noticed the changes. I talked to her about it and when I told her she was my girlfriend…she told me that she’s also my boss.”

His companion cringes. “That really stings.”

He agrees. “Broke up with her the next day. My sister liked her but even she noticed that she was too work-oriented.”

“Do you have any job prospects?”

“A lot, but,” he looks out the window and eyes the tower with shining lights that says Avalanche Corps., “I’ve always wanted to work there,” he sees her look at the tower, too, “and I’ve been trying to get an interview but slots are always filled.”

“Will you promise me to try calling again?”

He raises his eyebrows but realizes that there’s nothing he would lose if he did. “Sure, one last time.” He shrugs. “What were you doing alone in the theatre and asking random strangers to watch a movie with you?”

“I was supposed to be watching with my dad but he…um…had a last minute business call and had to go back to work.” She smiles and takes the last bite of her ice cream cake. “I never asked you your name.”

“Tom. Tom Hansen.” He smiles at her. “I just spent a night with a total stranger. I’m just lucky she’s cute,” he flirts and notices her blush. “What’s your name?”

*~*

(858)

Paul raises his eyebrows and leans forward. “Well? What’s her name?”

“What’s her name, man?” McKenzie joins. “Don’t tell me you didn’t get it.”

“Did you get her number?”

“Are you going to see her again?”

“Tell us you’re going to see her again.”

“Can you at least show us how she looks like?”

“Yeah, surely she has a social networking site.”

“How many beautiful girls do you see and compare them to what that girl did to you.”

“Dude, you’ve got to go and get her.”

“Forget about Autumn! Didn’t you tell us that you expected something like that would happen?”

“She’s a career-oriented woman.”

“And they are not your type.”

Tom blinks and nods. “Right, her name. It's…”

*~*

(856)

“Snow.” She grins. “Snow Lanché.”

After taking that in for a few seconds, he grabs his jacket beside him and leaves right away, ignoring her when she asks what’s wrong. “Tom!”

*~*

Back to day (1)

(1)

He isn’t fully over Autumn. But he got the job at Avalanche and is now starting his first day. Rachel, who had wanted to wish him good luck on one of the most nerve-wracking days of his life, smiles at him. “You got this.”

*~*

(456)

He’s been working for Avalanche for a year and a few months and he loves it. He’s made friends, he’s gone out with a few women and has even become friends with his boss. “I like you, Tom,” he said once, “your ideas are different and I like that.” Mr. Lanché had been consulting with him personally since then. “I think you and my daughter, Ava, would be good friends.”

The only thing that sucks is that he hasn’t seen Snow. Not on the train. Not in the diner. Not in the karaoke bar. Not in the movie theatre. Not in Sundae’s Best. Not in the park.

During his free time he would draw her. However, there’s always something wrong with it, always wondering what he’s missing. So he’d flip onto another page or grab a new, clean sheet and start drawing again. When Paul and McKenzie noticed, they think that the excuse he gives them, “It’s not perfect,” he would say, is a lie.

*~*

(489)

With his headphones on and his bag stuffed with all he needs and a little too early for his liking, Tom is ready to go up to his desk and finish his endeavors for the day. When he reaches the building, he’s not entirely surprised that the elevator quickly opens and no one else is waiting but him. He goes in, punches his floor and waits for the doors to close as he tucks his headphones down. Already closed halfway, someone calls for the elevator to be put on hold. He does so and waits for the lady to come in.

She arrives, her head bent low as she’s rummaging inside her bag. “Sorry,” she says and then thanks him. “Usually I’m alone and I don’t normally care about getting the first ride I see, but I have to go upstairs and—” she looks up, “oh. Hello.”

He blinks. It’s the same pale face, her brown locks being held up in a bun, her brown eyes staring intently at him. It’s the lips, the smile, he can never perfect. “Hi.”

“You got the job,” she says, smiling. “I’m glad.”

“Do you work here, too?”

She laughs a little although it sounds as if there are undertones of irritation. “Well, of course. I don’t want to but—” she stops herself, “because I’m just…I’m the…I’m…a trainee! Yeah. I’m a trainee in the…um…research department.”

“Oh,” he nods, trying to search his mind for any news about new recruits, “you’re early.”

“I…left some files and I need to get them for my…report tomorrow…thought I’d sneak in and get them before anybody notices.”

“You haven’t pressed your floor,” he tells her.

She looks at the buttons and takes her time before pressing twelve. “You didn’t press close yet, either.” She presses the button a few floors below him and up they go.

*~*

(489)

“Is the company hiring again?” he asks Butch, one of his co-workers.

Butch shakes his head. “We’re a full house. You’re still the latest addition. Why?”

“I met someone in the elevator this morning. I kinda know her. She said she’s a trainee in the research department.” He cocks his head. “Was she lying?”

“Probably,” the other guy raises his eyebrows, “but you said you know her.”

“Yeah, we went on a sort of date once. She’s the reason why I called the company, actually,” he tells him. “She’s why I’m here.”

“Interesting.” Butch moves forward. “And how does she look like? I might have seen her around.”

Tom begins to describe her but something else catches his eyes. By the door, is the woman he had gone with to see Inception. “Like her.” He gestures.

Sasha, another of his co-workers who he’s a little close to despite his distaste of her eavesdropping habit, suddenly appears in between them. “Her? A trainee in the research department? That’s crazy, Tom. Are you sure?” She takes another look. “Are you very sure?”

“I’m very sure, Sasha,” he replies. He tries to catch her eye but she’s talking to the boss. When they finally make eye contact, her eyes widen and she turns around, talking once again to Mr. Lanché, he nods and immediately turns away. “She’s already close to the boss?”

“She’s a Daddy’s girl, Tom,” Butch says. “That’s Ava Lanché, dear boy. The Ava Lanché. Heiress to this very company. Daddy has a daughter and can’t resist naming her Ava.” He chuckles. “What were you saying about her being a trainee in the research department?”

“She said her name’s Snow,” is his reply. Lanché, he didn’t make the connection.

“That’s her nickname. She’s pale faced, beautiful and sweet. Like Snow. When she was younger she was a little on the chubby side and everyone made fun of her, with her name being something destructive and all, you know, avalanche, and there’s a resemblance on the physical side, you can imagine all the teasing. One day, during the start of a new academic year, she came to school looking all brand-new and became the ice princess. Cold. Like Snow.”

“She’s…the president’s…daughter,” he says quietly.

*~*

(490)

The sun wasn’t even up yet when he started getting ready. He was outside before the building was even open. He’s been waiting for about an hour now. The security guard and April Marie, the keeper of the front keys, greet him “good morning”. While opening the door, April Marie says, “You’re early, Tom.”

“I’m waiting for someone.”

And it all pays off. After she gets in an elevator, he rushes inside and waits for the machine to close before putting it in an emergency stop. “Did you have anything to do with this?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she says without looking at him.

“Did you ask your father to hire me? The position I have now? My relationship with your father? Did you have anything to do with any of this? Be honest, Ava.”

“I only asked him to give you a chance, that he’d tell his secretary that if anyone named Thomas or Tom Hansen called for an interview, she should set up a schedule. It was just a coincidence that someone backed out and you got the slot. But I have nothing to do with all the other accusations. I swear. I didn’t even ask him to hire you. That was his choice.” She pauses. “And I don’t want you to call me Ava.”

They remain silent for the rest of the time until security and IT experts open the elevator. “Miss Lanché,” one of the men calls out to her, “we saw you in the camera footage, we thought you were stuck and—”

“My colleague and I were having a discussion, emergency stop,” she tells them.

“Oh,” they say. “Do you want us to close the doors again?”

Tom raises an eyebrow. Snow smiles a little. “No, it’s fine. We’re done talking.” She presses the last floor, just a floor above Tom’s, and thanks the workers. “We are done…aren’t we?”

He doesn’t reply, instead, he watches the numbers go by the elevator. When it dings and opens for him, he walks out but stops when Snow calls his name. “Do you wanna go out for coffee later? I’ll pick you up at around five?”

He turns around and sees her smiling hopefully. “Sure. Why not?”

*~*

(490-855)

The two had become very good friends. Tom looked past what had happened and they started anew (he did ask her how she managed to dodge him for a year, she replied that she memorized the building and could use her all-access ID to enter shortcuts). He never once called her Snow and continues to call her Ava. She had asked why once and he told her the reason, including why he ran out of the restaurant during their first meeting; she understood.

She explained to him why she didn’t want to take over the company and would rather be a teacher.

He brought her to the karaoke bar and helped her have fun; he even got her to sing a lot. And they go to his favorite spot in the park frequently.

They talk all day, constantly IM-ing each other during work hours and texting or calling when they’re free. Once she convinced her father that she could go home by herself during certain days, he never fails to bring her home and she insists he calls once he gets back to his own apartment. On weekends, despite having work to do—Tom with clients that he has to help and Snow with her father’s orders—they’re on the phone all night and would meet up during the day; sometimes, they’d abandon their work and have fun.

At one point, Snow had confessed to him her feelings, and although his feelings for her have also started to grow, he wasn’t prepared for another relationship and he didn’t want to ruin their friendship. “I’m sorry, I don’t…feel the same way.” She smiled and nodded, understanding. It hasn’t affected them at all. Until Zachary Williams.

#500 days of summer #tom hansen x oc #tom hansen #misc: cherish writes

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dimples-of-discontent · 5 years

Note

Don’t you think Jensen always denying that dean is bi is because it hits close to him? Like Dean’s behaviour around men and Jensen’s around Misha is kinda similar so?

Hello Nonnie,

Whew, oh boy! Ok, I got this ask in a few different forms so hopefully one answer can serve for them.

The first thing I’m going to do is remind everyone that Jensen has never commented publicly on his sexuality at all and that, therefore, it’s none of our business. It never is, actually, unless someone brings it up themselves and indicates that they wish to discuss it. That’s just a rule for life. Private is private, even if you’re an actor. The second thing I’m going to do is assume that you know what kind of blog this is and that I backstroke through the garbage fire pretty regularly including speculating about Jensen and Misha. So, yes, I am guilty of engaging in this type of posting.

But there’s rules! The main rule being that these things we say for our entertainment (curiosity, whatever) in fandom spaces are never in a billion years to be brought into the actors lives in any way. Do not ask them about it. Do not show them posts or fic about it. Do not tag them in Twitter posts about it, even if those are adorable posts collecting all the Cockles cheek kisses or whatever. Fandom spaces are ours; they’re imagined communities and we behave differently in them than we would in the real world.

Plus–again this should be obvious–we’re just posting shit we infer from a very limited viewpoint. Jensen and Misha give us a lot to work with (hoobooy they do!) but we’re seeing them in the public eye, at cons mostly or on livestreams. We have no freaking clue what they are like alone…and that’s how it should be.

And now that I have attached that upfront (I know I do this all the time and that if you read a bunch of my posts you may be getting sick of it…apologies, but RPS is very tricky and I feel like I need to foreground some of the boundaries for newcomers) let me put a cut below which you will find my thoughts on this.

It’s no secret that Jensen has a very high degree of character bleed with Dean–he straight-up admits that. I wrote a long post that’s been going around about how Jensen views Dean very experientially, knowing what Dean knows and doing what he thinks Dean would do, and about how that makes it tough for him to distinguish what he thinks of Dean from what DEAN thinks of Dean. Dean is a part of Jensen, as he has said.

What’s slightly less obvious, though intuitive, is that Jensen is a part of Dean. The vulnerability that Dean has had from the beginning is, to my mind, all Jensen. A lesser actor, or a lesser sweetheart, in that role would have made Dean pretty unsympathetic with his sarcasm and his machismo and his dumb, smirking face. To me, this is the same thing that happened with James Marsters on “Buffy.” He was supposed to be a straight-up villain, in just a couple episodes, but audiences went nuts for him. He got more episodes but Whedon still wanted to keep him a villain…except that James couldn’t keep that vulnerability and uncertainty and humanity out of the character. So instead we got a love story and a big, ol’ redemption arc. (I realize that it also sounds like I’m describing what happened with Misha and, in a sense, I am.)

Now, Jensen is a better actor than James Marsters (even though I think James is an amazing actor…and I love that he dropped out of Juilliard), but I’m willing to bet that what James did with humanizing Spike was more deliberate than what Jensen did with Dean. I think Jensen feels things intuitively about Dean and that he just goes for it without additional self-reflection. That’s why when he’s called out on something that he hasn’t deliberately chosen to do–like many of the bi!Dean or Destiel moments–he’s confused and slightly defensive. He makes some deliberate choices, obviously, but especially at this point he’s going on mostly instinct and doesn’t HAVE to examine those choices.

That is, unless we ask him to. I think often his encounters with questions about playing Dean a certain way (bisexual, in love with Cas) DO ask him to reflect on himself and ask himself why he made particular choices. And that’s not easy to do, especially onstage and in front of a crowd!! It’s like we’re always going, “Ok, Jensen, so clearly your instinct is to [insert non-hetero thing here]…why IS that?”; no wonder he will freeze-panic and sometimes say something thoughtless and/or rude! (Personally, I would like us to stop asking, largely for this reason.)

So, I suppose my answer to your question is “yes, exactly.” I think Jensen is an intelligent, meticulous, and thoughtful actor. I also think, subconsciously, he channels a ton of himself into Dean and that his being defensive of certain aspects of Dean (e.g. his sexuality) is indeed also his being defensive about those aspects of himself. Look at how much more easily the other cast members are able to analyze their characters, including comments about their sexuality. Just this weekend (at Jaxcon) Rich pretty much confirmed that he sees Gabriel as non-straight (pansexual?). Jared has said that he sees Sam as straight but that it’s ok by him if other people don’t. Ditto Misha about Cas (though he usually gets asked about his being Ace). And, yes, that is Jensen’s party line on the Dean question too. “You have your version and I have mine.” But his reactions to it are, to me, notably different from the rest of the cast.

I haven’t mentioned Misha yet but, well, if there’s any time we see Jensen acting non-straight it’s around Misha (in character or not). I’m not fully on the train for “Destiel is Cockles’s fault” because “Destiel” is a complex phenomenon 10 years in the making. But I’m not ever going to deny that their chemistry was a huge part of it taking root and growing. And it’s impossible–absolutely fucking impossible–not to notice the overlap between the trajectories. The first time Jensen met Misha was the first time Dean met Cas; they were both freaked out by this kind of alien being as much because he inspired “weird” feelings in them as because he was so “weird.” Jensen had Misha’s handprint applied in makeup before he met him just like Dean was branded by Cas. They had kind of an enemies-to-friends-to-lovers thing. They experienced some kind of betrayal and breakup and then a tentative reunion. They’re basically married now.

So, yeah, when Jensen is asked about Dean’s sexuality I do think he experiences it as a question about his own sexuality. And when he’s asked about Cas I do think he experiences it as a question about Misha. And, as others have said, either he’s been subtly playing Dean’s attraction to guys (including Cas) the whole time or he’s kind of lost control of himself and enabled his own attraction to men, and particularly Misha, to creep in unintentionally. (Note that I don’t think that makes him a “bad actor”; like I said, I think he acts Dean very intuitively at this point so his decisions may be unexamined but are not “bad” choices.)

This is already long, so I’m not going to comment here on what I think of Jensen’s sexuality. Well, actually, you’ve stayed with me so long that I feel I owe it to you. The short version… I do think that Jensen isn’t straight. I think he’s a guy who thinks of himself as straight even though he sometimes hooks up with dudes. The fact that that is inherently not straight doesn’t bother him. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal (though he used to, and that panic can still get activated). He doesn’t care about the labels and he finds the idea of seeing himself in the LGBTQA acronym ridiculous.

He and Misha may argue about this. It is, after all, a form of enormous privilege as an incredibly attractive, cis-het, white dude to just choose not to join a marginalized group. I do think that’s one reason he and especially Danneel support a lot of LGBTQA causes. (I don’t think she and Misha are straight either and I think they probably don’t self-identify that way.)

Maybe in another post I’ll go more fully into the long version of sexuality speculation. It’s such a delicate thing to do and I want to do it as respectfully as possible and I just don’t have the energy at the moment. I have written about this before, though, if you’re looking for more; I have a tag for “jensen is not straight” and (I think) “jensen is bi” although I dropped that b/c it was too definitive. There’s also one for “sexuality speculation” and “misha is not straight” and “misha is bi” (same reason for the tag change…too definitive.)

Remember the rules, though, and keep everything respectful and confined to our own lanes.

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nikatyler · 5 years

Photo

You might have seen me complain about this “graduation thing” that I had to write. (my English teacher actually called it a thesis, but that sounds too fancy in my opinion lol. I just...can’t see myself writing a thesis...yet. Language is funny.) Well, IT IS DONE. I CAN BREATHE NOW. I have some more things to finish before my graduation exams, and then I have to learn all the topics for the exams but for now, everything is fine. I’ll worry about this later. Speaking of exams and everything, I have one last month of high school left. When did that happen? There are the exams in May, uni entrance exams in June...and then I’m off to the so called adulthood. Help??

Let’s talk about sims for a bit...well, I’d love to but I’m almost never playing anymore. There’s no time. I’ll probably play BPR this weekend, as per usual. I guess I’ll start posting it in like June or July, so that will be almost a year since I started playing it. It’s going to be great, I promise. Well, the beginning already makes me cringe, but the things I’m doing now are fun. Kinda cringey too, but I feel like I can justify that since that’s cringey on purpose haha.

Replies now. There’s a lot of them because I don’t do these regularly anymore oops. It’s probably not everything because my activity feed hides stuff from me. I just know it. Smh tumblr

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Sammy: … Lydia: “Come on.” Sammy: “These…these two guys. They laughed...”

Can't believe I'm about to throw hands with some teenagers I haven't even met lol

Same lol. They won’t even ever show up but I hate them so much

myopiccc replied to your photoset “Lydia: “They should mind their own business! Sammy, listen to me now....”

I'm on your side Lydia!

She has a good valid point but if I could talk about this to her I would probably try to stop her too. She doesn’t think about the consequences haha

create-a-sim replied to your photoset “Sim Request: Michelle Emmons for @alfalfalegacy I do this thing that...”

she's soooo cute!!

Thank youuu! I really like how she turned out too!

melien replied to your post “post nsb”

Anon told you to post nsb so you should immediately go play and post nsb because your blog exists exclusively for their personal pleasure and entertainment! No excuses!!

Wait until they find out I want to post BPR next. Another sims 3 save. SCANDALOUS. HOW DARE I PLAY ANYTHING THAT ISN’T OUR LORD AND SAVIOR THE SIMS 4™. Sorry I read a post comparing ts3 and ts4 a few days ago and I’m still salty.

Anon pls don’t start a riot

melien replied to your photoset “Annabeth: “Uh…I think your face is stuck.” Regan: “Didn’t you know...”

I second this! It's kinda creepy when it happens

It’s too much. If they smiled a little less, I probably wouldn’t mind but this is just creepy. It kinda reminds me of that Momo thing that was everywhere on the internet a few months ago. My sister showed me a picture and uhh...I didn’t need to see that.

melien replied to your photoset “Adam: “Why can’t you be more like your siblings?” Lydia: “Umm, dad,...”

She's a modern day Tyler I guess

Sort of, yeah. Tyler kinda fakes it I’d say, he’s not as dumb as he’s trying to seem. It’s a role he chose to play for reasons. Which...probably makes him dumb in a way but oh well. Lydia...I don’t want to say she’s dumb because she’s not really, but there’s a slight difference between her and Tyler haha. I could talk about this a lot.

melien replied to your post “I`d looove to make ships with other people however I`m not completely...”

It's fine! Showing them in the legacy is more than enough. With people who I have the most ships with, we do discuss them, but it's not like 24/7 headcanon exchange, it just happens naturally whenever either of us has an idea. There's no right way to act when you have a ship with someone, so you're good! It's still much better than one-sided ship when the other person just isn't interested.

I’m the kind of person who would like to have everything clear, possibly broken down to a step-by-step tutorial haha. Even though I know some things don’t work like that. So naturally, stuff like talking to people confuses me a lot. Also, teamwork! I don’t know how to do it. Depending on who I’m working with, I’ll either be the one who does all the decisions or the one who nods and agrees with everything the partner says. Communication is hard, basically.

I think that here, another big problem with me is that I hate spoilers and I don’t want to spoil anything to anyone ever. Even if they probably have the right to know first. But hey, all the current ships I have with other people have been shown, maybe I’ll feel more comfortable doing it now?

melien replied to your photoset “Didn’t I tell you to go inside? “Omg muuuuum leave me alone.”

Caleb: okay

Caleb: *rises from his grave* “Don’t disrespect me, son-in-law.”

melien replied to your photoset “Hey hi hello I know everyone is busy downloading Strangerville right...”

Super late here but Myra and everyone else look great! ��

Thank! I’ve been thinking about updating the entire tree again though, giving everyone new pictures, so who knows how long this will stay whoops.

melien replied to your post “Why do y'all open sim requests when I have no use for more sims. �� I...”

Same :/ I want sims from everyone but I just know I won't use them anywhere in the nearest future and I don't want to put pressure on myself

Looking back, I’m actually glad I requested all these sims for gen 6 because it kept me going. I knew I had to get through the hard too-many-sims-in-the-household part because I wanted to show them in the end.

I hate when people request sims and then never ever use them anywhere. Don’t get me started on “hey I want to start a new legacy, please give me spouses for all ten generations”, followed a few days/weeks later by “hey guys sorry, I’m not that interested in this legacy, I’ll be starting a new one” - and the cycle starts over again. Why would anyone do that? Just ask for a gen 10 sim when you get there, it’s not that hard to wait.

I mean, here’s what I’m doing right now - I’ve created a peach spouse for my bpr sim months ago, they haven’t even met in the legacy yet, but I’d already love to have the orange sim for the next generation because I’m so excited about this all at the moment. Am I going to ask someone now? Hell no. I didn’t play this legacy for like six months and even though I love it so much lately, there’s a chance I’ll lose interest in it again. I’ll ask for an orange sim when I’ll know I can do gen 3...it’s gen 3 right. Oh well.

melien replied to your photoset “I forgot this interaction existed. I don’t do weddings too often. My...”

Is this a wedding-specific interaction? I feel like I haven't seen it in my game yet but idk for sure

Yes! I think they can only do it with that moodlet they get as soon as they get married.

melien replied to your photoset “Lydia the…wait, I need a really good superhero name. Ah, I’ll think...”

Lydibug

Uhhhh, the other day I thought about how Eielyd (switched i/y because of her name, I know it’s eyelid) would be a really stupid nickname for her but Lydibug actually sounds cool aaaand it’s now canon she loves Miraculous Ladybug.

melien replied to your photoset “Lydia: “I’m gonna make fun of every asshole in this town. Starting...”

Ooooooooo good luck getting out of this one

Whoopsie

Something similar actually happened to me in elementary school, my friend and I were talking about which colour we want our house be when we’re adults and then I said something like: “I don’t know but I definitely don’t want it to be yellow! Yellow houses are ugly.” And she goes: “My house is yellow.” My face turned red and I started shaking because I thought I had offended her sooo badly. I remember I got out of it saying something like: “Your house is okay, I just don’t like the bright yellow ones.” I don’t know what I had against yellow houses, to be fair. But I didn’t like them.

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Sammy: “How was your day, Will?” Will: “Good. Very good. You need to...”

Oh my god Will ��

Don't jump ahead in the plot lol

Since he plays so much with magic, maybe he’s seen the future haha

autistichatkid replied to your post “Hi guys, I have a question �� I know some of you have been here...”

rose!!! idk exactly when but i believe miracle was a child and tyler had long hair

alfalfalegacy replied to your post “Hi guys, I have a question �� I know some of you have been here...”

Came in just before Miracle's gen started and have stayed ever since!!

lalunebleue replied to your post “Hi guys, I have a question �� I know some of you have been here...”

I first started following when you were doing the ts3/ts4 crossover story with Zoe. That was a really cool idea.

kyveria replied to your post “Hi guys, I have a question �� I know some of you have been here...”

right at the beginning of your nsb legacy, and I thought it was the best one! ��

harmoniouspixels replied to your post “Hi guys, I have a question �� I know some of you have been here...”

I found your blog around the time Caleb was pregnant with Miracle and the mommy jokes from Tyler began (I could’ve been following earlier, but I distinctly remember that)

simlovinggirl replied to your post “Hi guys, I have a question �� I know some of you have been here...”

I found you on Gen 5 of your Rose Legacy. Miracle's story still pulls at my heart ♥

autumndiesirae replied to your post “Hi guys, I have a question �� I know some of you have been here...”

I think I got your blog on my recommended feed during Ross' transformation in NSB

whysimstho replied to your post “Hi guys, I have a question �� I know some of you have been here...”

I was looking up nsb stories to read, and I found the breeze legacy which was around when Ross was still a child. Then I noticed your sims 3 posts and was like "oo that looks cool" so I started reading them from the beginning too lol

desira-sims replied to your post “Hi guys, I have a question �� I know some of you have been here...”

I came across a Caleb and Ross post. I then proceeded to binge read your nsb until I had caught up.

This post lowkey backfired. I asked just because I was curious and suddenly there I was, reading the comments and sobbing because this is so cool and basically, I love and appreciate you all so much guys, you have no idea.

I guess it’s one thing knowing you see someone in your activity feed all the time, and the other thing is actually remembering when you’ve started seeing them and how much they’ve seen. It’s insane.

It’s also interesting to see how I feel about many of these things now (Zoey and Miracle’s storylines are the greatest example) and then here you are still saying it was good...makes me wonder if I’m too hard on myself. I’m never satisfied with everything!

kymmaisims replied to your post “Plans for this week and other rambling”

Take your time! We understand ��

It’s going to be a few hard months now...but hopefully I’ll be able to do it!

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Annabeth: “Consider yourself invited, Micah.”

!!!

Here we finally gooooo

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Cassandra: “That was the dumbest romcom I’ve seen in a while.” Sammy:...”

The way Sammy looks at her in this post is really cute :')))

PROTECT

pxelblobs replied to your post “Nope! Not at all. I did not just read all 377 pages of your Rose...”

I did! It took a few days but it inspired me to play a non berry save.

Yay, I’m happy to hear that!

kymmaisims replied to your post “In case you were wondering why there were no timezone reblogs today: I...”

*cough* poses *cough* �� Congrats on almost reaching a milestone! You deserve it!

Thank you! Three more followers left. That’s insane. I still feel the same way I did when I only had like 100 followers.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset

No, Miracle don't return to the aliens right now! You still have teens to raise! And a husband.

That would have been kinda cool if it happened, wouldn’t it? You’re not ready for what actually happened. Haha...haha...hahaha...just you wait, it starts today.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Calypso Heather for @sinfulwunders’s Melanie BC A long time ago,...”

Oh. My. God is she cool!

Thank you! I knooow, I love her so much *-* I tried doing some things differently this time and it was so worth it.

justkeeponsimming replied to your photoset “Look, she deserves a break. She freaking raised six children.”

She looks so adorable OMG

She does! My opinion on her has changed a lot through the years (I mean, she’s not my most favourite sim anymore, I don’t think her storyline was the best thing I’ve ever done etc), but nothing will change the fact that she’s the cutest sim I have.

harmoniouspixels replied to your post “˜ºï¸ Caleb Vatore”

Re Number 2: Yes, you're right! He's shown being romantic with women and then a guy in the vampire pack's trailer. We stan a canon bisexual icon

Ahh I knew I didn’t make it up! We stan a canon bisexual icon indeed

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Will: “A real fairy!” ??: “Huh?” Will: “I mean…oh my god. I’m sorry....”

Will's a big mood though. Cause I too would see a fairy and then immediately blurt something out like that ��

I wouldn’t blurt it out, probably (I don’t talk irl lmao), but I’d do something equally embarrassing and my reaction would be probably the same. I’d run away and feel bad about it.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “One Year of Breeze NSB Legacy! On this day one year ago, as soon as I...”

Happy birthday, the Breezes! ❤️��❤️

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “One Year of Breeze NSB Legacy! On this day one year ago, as soon as I...”

I love these edits! ��

froggypixel replied to your photoset “One Year of Breeze NSB Legacy! On this day one year ago, as soon as I...”

This is so freakin cool��❤️❤️

justkeeponsimming replied to your photoset “One Year of Breeze NSB Legacy! On this day one year ago, as soon as I...”

ronnie these edits are SO cute! I love love love what you did with the screenshots in the background!

Thank you guys! ♥ ♥ I didn’t know what to do, so I just took some simple couple pictures and then I thought wait a minute...I could put screenshots from the two finished generations in the background!

I kinda wanna do the same thing for Rose Legacy which turns three years old this April, but I hate editing ts3 pictures - mainly because the alpha hair is a bitch to edit, at least for me. I’m pretty good at faking it, but I actually don’t know much about Photoshop :D Once again, thank you guys.

#replies #alfalfalegacy #myopiccc #create-a-sim #melien #autistichatkid #lalunebleue #kymmaisims #tiny-tany-thaanos #justkeeponsimming #kyveria #harmoniouspixels #simlovinggirl #autumndiesirae #whysimstho #desira-sims #fataleromeo #froggypixel

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pinksausageduo · 7 years

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1K+

IM SCREAMING WTF YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING genuinely can’t believe i have more than 1000 of you actually liking my blog to the point of following me??!!! I have really bad updates LIKE REALLY BAD like for 2 and half months i’ve been on tumblr i’ve probably only been posting for 1 month and a bit. AND THE FACT YOU STILL ALL LIKE MY WRITINGS AND FOLLOW ME IS CRAZY!! i seriously mean it when i absolutely adore each and everyone of you following my blog like i love you guys so so much. and please don’t be afraid to ever talk to me whether it’s on anon or message whether it’s about how annoying your life is, ranting, my writing, advice, questions, literally anything. i just love you guys sooooo much like wow i never even expected more than 100 followers like i’m mind blown.

so since it is a milestone and usually most blogs do something, i did prepare a present for my followers and another one for my mutuals because i love you all.

FOR MY FOLLOWERS: A NEW SERIES!!!!!

i know i have still my enemies to lovers series that i need to complete and i will do that but there will be a new series and YOU GUYS GET TO CHOOSE which one I write first either;

Heirs

located in an expensive private school, wanna one is known as the Heirs. they’re all extremely rich, good looking, talented and basically the kings of the school. each guy will have a girl that catches their eye, those girls will be you! from the quick witted and sassy scholarship student to the extremely rich ice princess who no one wants to even approach to the shy sweet nobody, one member will fall for you. choose to find out!

so will you choose the heirs??

Bodyguards

wanna one is a team of bodyguards assigned to people who need protection. over the years each and every one of them finds themselves falling for someone on the job. but falling in love isn’t part of the job or is it? they’ll fall for you! from the president’s daughter to another intelligence agency’s spy to even a princess, one member will fall for you. choose to find out!

so will you choose the bodyguards??

HOW TO CHOOSE

message me by kkt or tumblr

comment below

reblog with which one

choose in poll : https://goo.gl/forms/G4GrlZEfOPL30jnP2

CHOOSING WILL CLOSE IN AROUND 2 WEEKS ON 11/11/17

please vote!!! i’ll love you all forever if you do!!!!

FOR MY MUTUALS/PEOPLE I ADMIRE & FOLLOW: FOLLOW FOREVER/RECS/DESCRIPTION

WANT TO GIVE OUT A HUGE SHOUTOUT TO MY MUTUALS AS WELL AND IT’LL BE KINDA A FOLLOW FOREVER/RECS (it’ll be long asf (like REALLY long) so i’ll put it under keep reading) this will be in all three person sorry :(

EVERYONG: i love y'all sm we all so so crazy and we occasionally talk about writing but eh it’s really just a mess but making our gc was one of the best decisions i made on tumblr AND IM SO SORRY if i don’t have you down below but i’m giving you all my love and appreciation rn here!!! BUT JUST LOVE YOU ALL!!

FIRST OF ALL SHOUTOUT TO DIAMOND @woojiniee FOR ENCOURAGING ME TO START THIS BLOG I WOULDN’T BE HERE WITHOUT YOU. lol it’s weird how my blog started from helping you w your english homework on harry potter lmao. i genuinely love you so so much and i admire you, your works and your blog and just thank you for everything!

ALSO A HUGE SHOUTOUT TO JAS @perkwoojin!!!! MY ABSOLUTE LOVE AND MY BEST FRIEND!! jas you’ve been here for me whether it’s irl problems or tumblr problems and you’ve never judged me for anything i’ve done. you are so so so special to me and i just love you soooo much i genuinely can’t imagine not meeting you on tumblr. we hit it off right from the start and we’ve only gotten closer. while the time difference may be annoying we still talk often and just thank you so much for always being there for me, love you loads!!!

MY SENPAIS (the people who inspired me to write and start this blog, i would literally check your blog for updates everyday before starting this blog) :

@imagineproduce101 genuinely think carina is the queen of writing in the pd101/wanna one fandom, she’s blessed us with so many fics on such a regular basis i’ve never talked to you personally and you probs have no idea who i am but just want to say thank you so much for inspiring me to write, your fics always made me feel so soft and fluffy i wanted to make other people feel that way so thank you!!!

fic recs: rivals (pleaseee do pt 2), what are you waiting for, let me love you, banana milk love, red bull, new beginnings, all of mafia aus, all of hp aus, all of vampire aus

@woojiniee i’ve already mentioned diamond^ but gonna mention her again cause she is one of my senpais LITERALLY SOOOO GOOD WRITING LIKE WTH PLEASE LET ME LIVE she’s less busy now so IM WAITING FOR UPDATES GIRLL but seriously check out all of her fics will not be disappointed

fic recs: alpaca boy saves the day, crushing on you, jaehwan soulmate au, dating a park at a park

@wanna-request-one such great paragraph writings mine will never live up to theirs writing is so amazing just so great if you want detailed long writing the best blog to go to all of them are AMAZING WRITERS congrats on 1.8K!!

fic recs: seongwoo soulmate, seongwoo brother’s best friend, jaehwan college, I HATE YOU IM YOUNGMIN (literally so in love w this fic)

@wanna-one-scenarios amazing writer!!! so so so niceeee she’s starting college rn so v busy i miss youuu we never get to chat but its okayyy BUT LIKE SHIT WRITING IS SOOOO ON POINT LIKE WTH just go through her whole master list won’t regret it

fic recs: DANIEL PRINCE AU!!! (like if y’all haven’t read this missing out on sm), jongyun father au, sewoon enemies to lovers au

@wannaonestars love reading her writing such great bullet points and really good ideas ALSO SO JEALOUS that like short bullet points BUT CAN MAKE ME FEEL SO FLUFF like that is a skill ppl

fic recs: all of boyfriend series (like so fluff) ESPECIALLY SEONGWOO’S, jihoon soulmate, minhyun office au

@jsioos (was heochannies) MEIKE IS SO PRETTY AND NICE AND AN AMAZING WRITER LIKE WHAT HOW CAN YOU BE SO BLESSED has such a diverse range of works from scenarios to mtls to reactions so genuinely impressed with her blog like goals

fic recs: all of boyfriend series FOR EVERY SINGLE GROUP like she’s amazing at those, and movie night with seongwoo

@ukulelewrites ALSO LONG ASS FICS AMAZING BLOG seriously such amazing writing love so many fics of hers DESERVES MORE ATTENTION AND FOLLOWERS and super sweet as well

fic recs: cherry picker’s club, a fanta-sea, homerun and ephiany (it’s nct ten BUT SUCH AN AMAZING FIC NEED TO PUT IT ON HERE)

@kanggdaniell STEPH IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND SO NICE AND RLY BUSY AS WELL but amazing writer just love her writing so much she isn’t as active as before but still should definitely check out master list cause so many amazing scenarios

fic recs: TSUNDERE (FUCK FUCK READ IT RN BEST SERIES FOR ME ON TUMBLR WOOJIN STANS COLLECT YOUR BOI), always in my heart, all of breakup scenarios, all of bad boy scenarios

ANOTHER SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO IRIS AKA @alliwannado-w1 LITERALLY RELATES W ALL MY WRITING PROBLEMS ON A PERSONAL LEVEL IS THE ABSOLUTE SWEETEST CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HER WORKS, BLOG AND FOLLOWERS I LOVE HER WRITING AND ADMIRE HOW DEDICATED SHE IS TO POST SO REGULARLY just i rly should stop writing in caps but like just genuinely she is the princess of writing in the pd101/wanna one fandom and she’s just so so amazing and all her writings are always so much fun to read like i love her so much but like no offence iris but you’re fucking crazy in the best way possible like to have so many wips like GIRL YOU NEED A BREAK

fic recs: FUCKBOY SERIES (iris got all her fame from here lol jk), daniel werewolf au, jihoon soulmate au, jihoon vampire au, woojin youtuber au, woojin policeman au, jinyoung barista au, sewoon soulmate au, youngmin youtuber au gonna stop there cause i’ll be listing her whole master list soon ;)

AMAZING WRITERS (just to give heads up have liked these recommended fics on another private account so if you like look at the likes and i’m not there that’s the reason):

@daehwifi GENUINELY LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH AND THEY’RE BOTH RIDICULOUSLY TALENTED and hella sweet like cutest married couple ik TIFFY thank youuu for always making me smile and MAE for being the sweetest angel but YOUR WRITING IS ALSO HELLA GOOD like great bullet point fics and regular updates

fic recs: bandaid guanlin scenario, movies ongniel scenario, skype calls jinyoung scenario

@deepdickdaniel ARIANE EVERYONG GC MOTHER (aurora’s dad now) and the ultimate HOE for daniel but got guys chasing after her constantly SMH and all our gc is beautiful because of your genes ANYWAYS you’re also a good ass writer and if anyone wants bomb ass daniel fics FOLLOW ARIANES BLOG YALL

fic recs: doormat, all her soulmate aus especially taste, hiking w daniel

@dong-hyucks oKAY so jade has only like one fic on wanna one BUT SHE’S SUPER TALENTED AND SHE DOES SO MANY GROUPS like mutlifandom ASF AND I LOVE HER ALOT

fic recs: daniel soulmate au, na jaemin spy au, i’m with you taeyong

@donghyxns IF YALL WANT MXM SCENARIOS/CONTENT THIS SHIT IS RIGHT HERE also has a lot of wanna one scenarios but maddie is the biggest donghyun fan ik and super sweet even though we haven’t talked much!

fic recs: royalty au donghyun, actually all the royalty aus, TIC TOK WOOJIN SOULMATE AU, youngmin as your boyfriend

@ennergetics RAE my favourite drunk aunt ever like super funny and nice and talking about bts is always great with you RAE YOU ALSO LIKE AN AMAZING WRITER and make me feel all sorts of stuff when i read your works

edit: fuck me im so sorry rae lmao idk if it was the fact i wrote this at 3am or I'm terrible speller originally or it was auto correct IDEK BUT ILYSM DONT HATE MEEEEE

fic recs: bad first dates, prince aus, woojin college/barista au

@fromwannaone ANNIE A COMPLETE UTTER SWEETHEART WITH WRITING SKILLS which put me to shame and fic ideas are always sooo good too just fuck meeeee i love youuu and your writing

fic recs: ALL HER SCHOOL SERIES which is like all members basically sooo, on rainy days, sweet like candy

@hiyawoojin RISSAAAA MY BABY MY PRECIOUSSSS I WANT TO PROTECT YOU AND HUG YOU AND LOVE YOU FOREVER but genuinely rissa is the sweetest person ik on tumblr and her sweetness is as equal to her writing BUT SINCE SHE’S A NEWBIE EVERYONE GIVE HER LOVE

fic recs: ALL OF THEM since there’s about 4 but i like the woojin and the minhyun in particular hehehe

@hwinkinghwi XUAN WE BONDED INSTANTLY YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME SMILE AND LAUGH and we talk about the weirdest things but it’s still heaps of fun and xuan has short sweet bullet point fics which will warm your heart

fic series: both baejin fics: chicken first cuddles later, florist jinyoung, baker woojin, ___ as your boyfriend (all of them)

@jeonjeonggukks I LOVE ALEX SM SERIOUSLY SO SO SO FUNNY LIKE WTH and sooooo easy to slander BUT SHE IS MY MOTHER (well one of them) AND I LOVE HER SO SO MUCH AND SHE’S ALSO AN AMAZING ASS WRITER so y’all should read her writings

fic recs: shipped jonghyun scenario, our necklaces sungwoon soulmate au, why her why him woojin

@jihoonslattee AHHH WE JUST STARTED TALKING CHI BUT I ALREADY LOVE YOU AND JUST WOW YOUR WRITING IS INCREDIBLE WISH I COULD BE YOU AND HAS SOOOO MANY FICS DONE LIKE IM SO IMPRESSED wow i did that in all caps but like JIHOON STANS WHO WANT JIHOON FICS like chi’s blog like 100% recommend also does reactions SO CHECK HER OUT

fic recs: jihoon prince au (this was sooo good), daniel CEO both parts, seongwoo boyfriend au, jihoon soulmate au

@mongniel AURORA OUR SALTY ASS MOTHER/FATHER who leaves us regularly and is a daniel seongwoo stan (she says so at least) BUT LIKE GOTTA APPRECIATE HER ABILITY TO MAKE ME FEEL SO MUCH SHIT WITH HER ANGST also if y'all love angst daniel fics AURORA’S BLOG IS THE ONE FOR YOU

fic recs: BROKEN RECORD (heart BREAKING), no chance no way, in his dreams, no answer

@peachiejihoonie SAYS IN DESCRIPTION SHE’S BAD AT WRITING BUT THAT’S RIDICULOUS her writing is sooooo good like not too many fics up BUT ALL OF THEM ARE AMAZING like what??

fic recs: demigod series, daniel fuckboy

@perkwoojin IVE ALREADY MENTIONED JAS CAUSE SHES MY ONE ETERNAL LOVE but genuinely wtf so talented I AM SHOOK she does EVERYTHING like gifs, reactions, scenarios AND SHE HAS TWO OTHER BLOGS for the boyz and stray kids fans CHECK THOSE BLOGS OUT TOO

fic recs: basically everything but in particular wanna one as prom dates, wanna one reacting to you how to solve a rubix cube, and all her series which include: boyfriend, fallen angel, AND check out woojin badboy pt 1 & 2 and now ive literally listed her whole master list whoopss

@playfuldisaster CHRISTINE IS SUCH A SWEETHEART LIKE WOW genuinely like an angel AND I LOVE TALKING TO HER but she also has so many works up! WHICH NEED MORE ATTENTION cause they’re so good

fic recs: and i’m here seongwoo, attention baejin, my boy lollipop baejin, sorry kang daniel

@producedwannaone SO UNDERRATED LIKE WHAT HOW EVERYONE WAKE UP also honey I NEED A MASTERLIST like need to stalk your blog easily yooo but seriously such a great writer and a sweetheart x

fic recs: wanna one seeing their donsaeng in their t shirt, naps with guanlin

@starrywinters SHEENA YOU HAVE SHARED MY PAIN OF HAVING SEONGWOO AS A BIAS WRECKER but like other than that you mean so so much to me you are positively brilliant in every single way AND DON’T TELL YOURSELF OTHERWISE seriously AND IT INCLUDES YOUR WRITING SKILLS

fic recs: cute bandaids, minhyun college au, 7 minutes in heaven jihoon, hugs woojin, guanlin soulmate/vampire au

@wannabeone just dammnnnn girl your writing is SO GOOD LIKE WHAT?? always makes me feel all nice inside just love reading your works fic recs: all of best friend lovers (like you will not be disappointed), kissing cuddling hugging wanna one

@wannamoon JUJU IK YOU’RE ON HIATUS AND YOU HAVEN’T REPLIED TO MY MESSAGES CRI but i miss your baejin fangirl squealing and your posts which will be filled with sadness cause it’s you lmao BUT COME BACK SOON I MISS YOU AND I LOVE YOU but juju has such a good mix of fluff and angst fics and super unique and heart warming ideas

fic recs: crumble both parts guanlin, ALL HER LIFE AUS LIKE FUCK SUCH GOOD FLUFF, halcyon seongwoo, jihoon soulmate au

@wannaonescenarios SERIOUSLY SUCH GREAT SHORT FLUFF WRITINGS LIKE WHAT HOW I WISH and has a long ass masterlist WHICH IS AMAZING TO GO THROUGH just like go right now to her blog amazing writings IS AVAILABLE

fic recs: SOULMATE AU SERIES, dating series, college series (even tho it’s only youngmin), daniel cat cafe owner

@wannasoftimagine OMG SUCH AMAZING FICS BUT DOES ANYONE KNOW PHI WENT?? like she hasn’t updated in 2 weeks? or replied to messages? like does anyone know?? but if she’s on an hiatus without mentioning well idrk but phi’s works make me feel so so soft like super duper fluffy and always read them for a cheer up

fic recs: ALL SOULMATE SERIES, classmate woojin, boyfriend woojin, and all of wanna one _____

@wannasseu CYN CYN OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PEOPLE CYN IS THE QUEEN OF ANGST if anyone says otherwise FITE ME drown in my tears whenever i read one of her angsts WHICH IS LIKE ALL THE TIME ugh cyn what are you doing to me BUT CONTRARY TO THE ANGSTY FICS SHE WRITES cyn is such a FLUFFY person

fic recs: ALL HER EX BOYFRIEND SERIES especially seongwoo’s (i ranted to cyn for a straight hour about that fic lol), custard kisses, arranged marriage

@wannatales GREAT SHORT FLUFFS THAT YALL WANNA READ RECOMMENDING FOR STANS OF MAKNAE LINE since writings are only maknae line works always makes me feel all fluffy and gooey insideeee

fic recs: JACKET GUANLIN (fuck such a cute scenarios can’t deal), fool woojin, milk jihoon

@wannawrite SO MANY FICS FOR SO MANY FANDOMS but like the wanna one master list IS HELLA LONG haven’t ever talked to admin N BUT I LOVE YOUUUUU LAETITA DATITA RISEEEE (is that how to spell it i can’t even remember) BUT ANYWAYS soooooo good fics like always love reading them just genuinely great writings 100% of the time

fic recs: FLOWER BOY SERIES LIKE YESSS, vamp series, i latte you very much minhyun, bffs to bf daniel, colourless soulmate au woojin, this isn’t part of the plot guanlin

@wanna-17 CATH OMG MY OLDER FUTURE TWIN IDEK i love you so so much and chatting you is always fun BUT you have so many mtls like wow I'm mind blown BUT YOUR FICS ARE ALSO SUPER GOOD

fic recs: wanna one first meeting series, and any of the mtls you want to know about

@whatabrightplace AHHH TINA PLEASE PLEASE WRITE FOR WANNA ONE YOUR WRITING IS ALREADY AMAZING AND DON’T BE SCARED JUST TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH wow I'm being rly dramatic but idc i want to see you produce wanna one writing content (did you see what i did there ;) ) ANYWAYS i also wanted to tell you i love youuuu

fic recs: HER RECENT DANIEL SCENARIO FUCK stars + you for our precious mother ariane and basically everything on her masterlist even tho it isn’t wanna one or pd101

@101scenes JUST CUTE ASF SCENARIOS (at least the ones i’ve read) got me squealing and SOFT like such great writing

fic recs: LATTE ART daniel scenario, guanlin soulmate au, ceo jihoon

TEXT BLOGS (not gonna do fic recommendations cause they’re texts and it’s harder to choose specific ones):

@laignlin LILY I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO TALK TO YOU MORE LIKE TIME DIFFERENCE AND SCHOOL SUCKS but our chats are always the best and it’s always hella nice talking to you BUT YOU’RE ALSO A GREAT WRITER AND AMAZING TEXT MAKER so i ended up putting you in text author lol also IM STILL YOUR PROM DATE but everyone just read through all of lily’s texts and scenarios cause they’re all on point asf

@pwjins I GENUINELY ADORE ALLISON BUT SHE HATES ME AND WE HAVE THIS BITCH FEUD THING GOING ON BUT WHATEVER I LOVE HER ALOT AND IK YOU GOING THROUGH A TOUGH TIME AND NEED A BREAK BUT LIKE I’M HERE FOR YOU TUMBLR HERE’S FOR YOU but i love allison’s texts they always make me smile and laugh and like my heart literally warms SHE ALSO WRITES occasionally so check those out and i don’t have any in particular but like the gc texts are always good and the CHANGING THE NAME LIKE LMAO that’s also amazing just check it all out BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ALLISON

@texts101 YOUR TEXTS ARE SOOOO GOOD JUST THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR MAKING THEM like they never disappoint I LOVE the best friend, boyfriend, gc and name switch texts the most BUT LITERALLY ALL OF YOUR TEXTS ARE AMAZING and ik you taking a hiatus now SO PLEASE TAKE A GOOD REST AND FOCUS ON SCHOOL and don’t stress at all cause all your followers will still be here and ready for your return

@w1talks ANGELA IK YOU DO SCENARIOS AND TEXTS but the scenario list was getting WAYYY TOO LONG to put you there anyways I LOVE YOUR TEXTS AND YOUR SCENARIOS your writing is amazing but your texts are also great LIKE MULTI TALENTED MUCH and I ABSOLUTELY ADORED wanna one finding you went on a date with jinyoung BUT I ALSO ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOUUU

INCORRECT QUOTES BLOGS (not gonna do fic recommendations cause they’re quotes and there are hundreds):

@incorrect-produce101-quotes SUPER DUPER FUNNY and like totally could imagine your quotes being said by the guys and love how there’s a lot of the pd101 guys as welll

@incorrect-wanna-one-quotes you were one of the first blogs i followed and your quotes NEVER fail to make me at least smile like i have properly cracked up laughing on multiple occasions because of your quotes and i just feel like my day becomes a little brighter when i see you on my dash

TALENTED ASF GIF MAKERS:

@daewi just really nice and cute gifs which are soooo aesthetically pleasing together also all your reblogs are just great AND I ADORE YOUR HS YEARBOOK AWARD THEMES

@defsouldanik LITERALLY IM IN SUCH AWE OF YOU LIKE THE GIFS YOU MAKE IS ALWAYS LIKE THE MOMENTS I WANT GIFFED?? and like all your got7 content makes me happy as well and just THE QUALITY IS SOOO GOOD AS WELL

@kimsjaehwan ONE OF MY ULT FAV GIF MAKERS always gifs are so nice and the gifs are always hella good quality just always makes me smile when i see them

@kngniel YOU WANT BASICALLY PERFECT GIFS OF DANIEL HERE IS THE BLOG FOR YOU genuinely so many gifs you’ve made of him smiling and just MAKES ME FEEL SOFTTT

@ongeuigeon SUCH AMAZING GIFS WTF like the gifs in a set always match perfectly with each other in every way AND I LOVE IT WHEN YOU ADD YOUR OWN LITTLE COMMENTS IN it always make the gif that much better

@parkswoojin REALLY NICE GIFS and like you regularly make new ones so thank youuu for that and just really nice quality AND IN GENERAL A GREAT GIF BLOG TO FOLLOW

@park-woojin I LOVE YOU JUST FOR EXISTING AND MAKING WOOJIN GIFS LIKE all of your gifs are so nice and clean and great ass quality AND SINCE ITS WOOJIN i always smile my ass off whenever i see any of your gifs

@rosybaejin AMAZING ASS GIFS LIKE WOWOOWOWOWOW mind fucking blown y'all AND also in general amazing blog to follow great baejin content

@sungwhoon really pretty high quality edits and gifs AND LIKE THE COLOURS ALWAYS LOOK AMAZING just so nice to look at your gifs

@woojinnies WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOU IN THIS FANDOM genuinely believe you are a staple piece of creating gifs in this fandom YOUVE MADE SOOOO MANY AND THEY’RE ALL SOOO GOOD like you have A GIFT just thank youuuu for making your gifs

OTHER GREAT BLOGS:

@boo-jinyoung summer you’re an amazing ass dancer like woah and totally a baejin stan even tho you deny it CONSTANTLY and you are a complete sweetheart everyone follow for HELLA GOOD jinyoung and guanlin content

@crystalkpop I LOVE YOUUU THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR BEING ONE OF MY BIGGEST SUPPORTERS AND LIKING/COMMENTING MY WORKS JUST I APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH

@dearlydaehwi AMAZING DAEHWI CONTENT LIKE DAMN like i love seeing the smol soft bean and you DELIVER like all daehwi stand should follow you just daehwi overload in the absolute best way possible

@extraongdinary LITERALLY PROVIDES ALL THE SEONGWOO CONTENT I NEED and reblogs good ass content SO HAPPY ASF leah ily even tho we’ve never talked you just ultra great

@fywannaone JUST THANK THE LORDS FOR YOU best updates such great pictures literally don’t need to follow any other blogs cause like SO FAST just constantly blessing me with wanna one content SO THANK YOU

@ricepot-jisung I KNOW YOURE A WRITER BUT I HAVEN’T HAD TIME TO READ YOUR WORKS which i bet are amazing AND TBH JUST FOLLOWED YOU BECAUSE YOU REPOSTED GOOD ASS CONTENT AND SEEMED SUPER NICE AND PERSONAL POSTS WERE RELATABLE ASF (whoops wrote all that in caps)

@soft-baejin BRI we’ve barely talked since i’m never on the gc but you’re super duper sweet and nice and also have a really nice blog and you reblog really good jinyoung content and great content in general

@wooh00jin SUPER SWEET and adores woojin great ships and i bet you have so many flooding in when ships are open cause you put so much detail into them and GREAT WOOJIN CONTENT

@asongofmagicandtime | @sewnho | @lai-panlin | thank you for always being nice to me on the gc and I'm sad its not as active as before but all three of you are SUCH SWEETHEARTS and have GREAT ASS CONTENT on your blogs

MY FAVOURITE MUTUALS/CLOSE FRIENDS (which have not been mentioned above or i just felt like putting you here lmao):

@danielsoftgf DIAN YOU WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME NO MORE SENDING GIFS OF KOOKIE TAE N WOOJIN LIKE YOU RLY WANNA KILL ME but you so so soft for daniel it’s sweet but also so easy to exploit hehehe but i can see seongwoo just around the corner ;) but genuinely love your blog it’s so so so nice and chatting with you is the best I LOVE YOUUUU

@hyuckland OKAY IK WE JUST STARTED TALKING TINA AND I HAVEN’T GOT THE CHANCE TO STALK YOUR BLOG YET so i can’t really properly comment on anything BUT ONE THING I CAN is that you’re an absolute sweetheart and you made me feel SO MUCH BETTER with your messages BUT IK WE’RE GONNA BECOME HELLA CLOSE

@jaehwansspookywife LUCY LUCY LUCY you are the funniest person ever you are so nice and sweet and hilarious and conversations never get boring w you we don’t talk THAT often but when we do i always genuinely enjoy it love youuuuu ALSO OBSESSED W JAEHWAN DON’T LET HER i don’t think he’s cute FOOL YOU

@kpopsincejune07 JEN I LOVE YOU you were one of my first fans and you’ve been a huge supporter ever since AND WE BECAME CLOSER and talk when our stupid time zones all us lol and please don’t stress about work and take care of yourself also thank you for always reposting great fics BUT IM WAITING ON YOURSSS PLEASE PLEASE POST YOUR FIC i am waiting till this day for it ily

@ongsecngwoo GINNY MY LOVEEEEE i always love talking with you our conversations are always good and hella fun even tho we end up replying hours/days after EH ITS TIMEZONES but also i love your blog it’s so pretty AND THE CONTENT YOU REBLOG just yes yes yes also DONT STRESS ABOUT SCHOOL TOO MUCH AND YOU BETTER TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF but also you haven’t replied to my messages in ages so i hope everything’s okay?? i just love you loads :)))

@parkkwoojin ace we don’t talk as much as before but I STILL CARE AND LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH you’re soon easy to slander but since i promised to be sweet i’m being sweet hehehe BUT GENUINELY YOU POST BOMB ASS GIFS AND ALWAYS IMPRESSED BY THEM and your gifs of woojin OOFT MY HEART DIESSSS just thank you for existing

@porkjeojang SUMMER OMG SUMMER YOU ARE SUCH A SOFT SWEETHEART WHICH I LOVE SO MUCH but you can also be one HELL OF A BITCH sometimes ya know?? also she says she’s loyal to jihoon but IVE SEEN HER EYEING DANIEL UP but she super multi talented making pixels, gifs, mood boards and writing scenarios LIKE TEACH ME YOUR SECRETS but i love you so much and without you my dashboard wouldn’t be complete

@spooky-jihoon NAIA IK WE AIN’T THAT CLOSE BUT YOU WERE ONE OF MY FIRST MUTUALS I TALKED TO sooo i put you here hope you don’t mind I MISS YOU A LOT you’re a literal angel AND PROBABLY THE MOST DEVOTED JIHOON FAN I KNOW like jihoon content right here ppl right here and ik you won’t see this after your hiatus BUT I LOVE YOUU

@wannabl okay hana we haven’t talked in fucking ages cause i felt like you just didn’t really want to chat ya know? especially cause you’re so so busy w irl stuff but like i do really really miss you and i’ve actually sent a few anons saying that i do miss you and wanting to see how you’ll react never got a reply :( but genuinely in awe of how easily you make friends and that you have so many different types of works and i’m so glad you have so many people that recognise that like your anons (and i’m sorry if i was too overly jokingly bitchy) and everyone just go through her master list or just check out her blog cause genuinely such a funny person and has amazing content on there

@wanna-one MERVE you’re my sister/protecter from all things bad (like makeout scenes lmao) but even though you “hate” daniel you have your sweet ASF moments about him you basically confess you love everything about him AND SO MUCH DANIEL CONTENT ON YOUR BLUG BUT you’re always tired and stressed and i wish you were decently okay and happy but remember you’re so sweet ridiculously smart AND i still need to see a photo of you anyways i love you sooooo much and so does daniel ;)

@woojinstinygf OMG KITTY YOU ARE SUCH A SWEETHEART AND PROBABLY THE MOST DEVOTED WOOJIN FAN IK (sorry all those woojin stans out there but like kitty takes it to ANOTHER LEVEL) i always love chatting w you and you always make feel so soft and happy ANYONE WANTS WOOJIN CONTENT OR SWEET WORDS OR ANYTHING ABOUT WOOJIN OR STRAY KIDS LMAO FOLLOW N MESSAGE KITTY (not actually her irl name but she tells ppl to call her that soooo ya)

IM SORRY IF I MISSED YOU PLEASE PLEASE MESSAGE ME SO I CAN ADD YOU ONTO THE LIST

I LOVE YOU ALL BUT AGAIN VOTE!!!! MAGU MAGUUUUUU!!!!

#@MUTUALS WHY I DIDNT REPLY TO MESSAGES I WAS DOING THIS #THIS WAS EXHAUSTING #IT TOOK ME HOURS #IM SO DONE #BUT ALSO SUPER PROUD I FINISHED #ANYWAYS #I LOVE YOU ALL #THANK YOU SO MUCH #PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE VOTE #wanna one #wanna one scenarios #wanna one imagines #produce 101 #produce 101 scenarios #produce 101 imagines

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racheltunstallillustration · 6 years

Text

2017.

It’s that time of year again where I do my annual blog post talking about the highs and lows of the last 12 months. And like what everyone says ‘the year flew by!’ Yes, yes it did but for all the good reasons.

Above is a screenshot of the plans I set myself in my last overview and I can happily say I’ve accomplished around 80% of this;

- I started 2017 unemployed, skint and desperate for a job just to earn some £ and start saving. I landed a day job working in a cafe in my local town around the beginning of February and I’m still luckily there. I worked my arse off over the stressful Summer and at this moment I’m trusted enough to work in the cafe on my own. A perk of the job was learning how to make coffees which is something I’ve always wanted to learn. Hmm .. coffee.

- I landed my first editorial commission by the end of January where I was commissioned by The Debrief. Since then I’ve been commissioned by the likes of Aquila Magazine, Walnut Magazine, Intercom and Counterpoint AND several other non-editorial gigs. I wouldn’t have landed them if it wasn’t for the amazing help of some brilliant designers and illustrators that I owe a lot to!

- Yes, I did do more project based work, though I’m still struggling with this and want to continue improving this through 2018. I continued with my Lush illustrations (which caught the attention of Lush branches in the US! WOOP!) and set myself a small project of Tarot Card illustrations during the month of October. I still need to work on this but baby steps.

- Now this last aim was something I’m still not too sure whether or not I improved on. Looking back over the year and recognising the successes I’ve had kinda puts things into perspective and I should really stop putting myself down so much. I realise now a lot of my mental health focuses on my desire to work and when I don’t work I have low spells where I value my worth as a person. Obviously I’m thankful I work regularly at my day job so while there’s a quiet period in my freelance, my mind is distracted by the business of a cafe. It’s also enabled me to have breaks and refresh on ideas when I’m in an art block. All the perks I suppose.

(A few snippets of the editorial pieces I’ve done over the year, woop!)

Other successes of 2017.

- I was invited to a small Illustration studio known as Pretty Picture Club, where a group of amazingly talented illustrators from all over the world come together to create illustrations set under restricted colour schemes and themes for every month. I joined in May and so far have been loving the growth of the team! Onto 2018! You can check them out here; https://www.prettypicture.club/

- I got to work with client’s oversees, from France, Canada and the US! I almost had a client in Australia but they chose elsewhere.

- I got to work with one of my local town councils on an illustrated map of Workington. It was the longest I’ve ever worked on a project before and I learned a heck of a lot along the way.

- I was long-listed in the Young Cumbrian Artist of the Year competition in September. Nothing came of it but it was a nice feeling to have my work in gallery.

- My work has developed a heck of a lot over the year. I’ve become more experimental with colour and texture and of course one of my biggest accomplishments of the year was to be more confident with body poses in my work. If you’ve seen my work over the year you can see my love for drawing naked women cause who doesn’t like boobs?

- I’ve discovered a lot of amazing designers and illustrators through Twitter and Instagram and I’ve been fortunate enough to be followed back by them! So many amazing illustrators who have been so inspiring and lovely!

Aims for 2018;

- Hopefully find a job a little more relevant and more financially rewarding.

- Keep at it with the freelance work, keep working my butt off to grab as many varied gigs as possible.

- Hopefully move out of my parents home and into my own place!

- Give myself more breaks. I’ve had weeks of non stop work and I’m finding out the hard way how exhausting it can be.

Signing out now, let’s see what 2018 brings!

#illustration #illustrator #2017 #overview #review #art #artist

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jewel-s-blog · 4 years

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about me + bias list

hi there, I’m jewel :)

she/her/hers ・ 20 ・ kpop (writing) blog

Yes, Jewel is my real name although my parents admit I was supposed to be named elizabeth but changed their minds last minute after I was born how cute and I’m currently in university. I study political science and japanese for those wondering (because yes, I am japanese and it’s helpful when you live in hawaii to have that degree yk?). If any of this stuff is even mildly interesting and you have any curiosities, pls feel free to ask me!

I try to write some things when I can, so feel free to take a look at my masterlist. I also read A LOT of fics on this site, so also peep my recs if you feel like it. Warning: its mostly fluff and angst and almost always includes smut but there’s some really good stuff worth reading still!

Feel free to talk to me :) i don’t have any kpop friends irl :( all my friends are locals smh

I try my hardest to be active as much as possible but it’s taken me over a year to finally get used to tumblr lol marklee and i both struggle with complex technology i guess Of course, there are times when I get busy with college and will probably seem to drop off the face of the planet exam season kills but now that I’ve been in quarantine for a month, I figured now is the best time to start building an active tumblr routine.

That’s all for now! Keep reading below for my bias list :)

xoxo, jewel <3

Bias List

Before I begin, I will warn that this is basically a giant NCT shxtpost. With LOTS of hyperlinks for educational purposes and absolute crackhead-ery. I’ll eventually make a separate list for other groups I stan, but this blog is mainly NCT and this is already so long so I’ll leave it as this. Enjoy!

Biases are bolded in the beginning of each unit, so you can skip everything after if you don’t wanna see my ramblings following it.

A/N: After biasing nearly every member in NCT/WayV I’ve settled for now on my biases for each unit. This will most likely rotate fairly regularly as I literally fall in love with a different member every day cited here. solo stan? I don’t know her.

ULT

Jaehyun *ahem excuse me i mean*

Johnny Suh, it’s official. Don’t know how to explain, but I love everything about him. In the end, it’s always him. damn i sound like y/n thoughts but istg it’s true From SM Rookies to NCT Life to MV behinds, he’s the one. But I’ve also come to realize that I find myself most relatable to him as a person and I think that’s why no one else can trump him wow narcissist much jewel It’s kind of just my gut feeling. It also helps that hes the fluffiest tall, muscular tight booty hottie on the planet. See this black on black dance practice for further scientific explanation even in this jaehyun trying to wreck me so badddddd

Not gonna lie, I HAD IT BAD FOR MARK LEE still do and yet Johnny overcame that. If mark lee were my first love, johnny is my soulmate.

UPDATE!

Lee Jeno has officially been added to the ult list. *See the entirety of my april activity on my sns accounts if you would like to see how this happened haha :)

NCT U

im in love with him bc he literally reminds me of my boyfriend -- i like chill guys ok

Taeil is my little teddy bear who looks great in red hair and has a voice form heaven. Evidence? Here you go. He didn’t stand out to me much in the beginning because I was either deaf or blind but after Chain, the game was OVER. +moon taeil in shorts?? serve them thighs honey. Love you bebe tomato <3

BUT Doyoung is the #1 bias wrecker here because have you seen his cover of beautiful on masked singer?? have you?? if not, let me educate you. Also his collab with Sejeong?? Literally the cutest MV ever, perfect for Christmas, listened to it every year since it’s release.

Listen to Coming Home - NCT U for further scientific evidence that NCT has top vocals in the kpop industry.

NCT 127

THE Jung Jaehyun. For reasons that need no explanation. but ill give it anyway smh

After watching the performance of herin and jaehyun singing a whole new world I knew that was it for me. (I still watch it once a month for my jaehyun-related health and to honor SM’s biggest loss, seo herin and ji hansol but thats for another conversation) back to jaehyun His vocals are unique in NCT and bring a nice color to their songs, the man looks good in literally anything, and I’ll probably say this about every member, but I love his dance style--body rolls for days sis. Definitely my ideal type, which my boyfriend is 100% aware of; no secrets in my relationship ofc which explains the wreckage. Pretty sure 81% of the fandom gets wrecked by him daily, so I think I’ll stop here.

NCT Dream

Renjun. why? i just think he’s neat but no really, it was this performance (ok actually this got me ALL SORTS OF WRECKED) and this fancam that had me falling in love with him but were gonna ignore the fact that I get bias wrecked DAILY by all the other members GOd-tier vocals, personality for daysssssss, variety KING HUANG RENJUN. Safe to claim that I go into renjun feels about 3x a week. Check my twitter for proof. +dnyl renjun was a blessing and I sometimes cant believe that it actually happened. How do I explain?? He’s literally the best boy, but when he gets all worked up....let’s stop there before I have to go to confession again.

But for fun, lets list why I have biased every dream member at some point shall we? (in no particular order) Dream might just be my ult group, songs always bop, members at star quality

mark- yes i am including mark bc he was the reason i even started stanning dream dreamies leader since mmc days, mentor, A1 rap skills, ad libs go crazy, unparalleled dancing style, hardest worker, cutest watermelon advocate ever, all around amazing person can you tell he used to be my ult? + he’s a good christian boy and my catholic *ss has to confess my sins for being a simp for him 24/7

chenle- vocal GOD, most steady live vocals in kpop, laugh to die for

jeno- i cannot resist his eye smile i wanna cuddle and onstage charisma-2:54 “let’s goooooo” and i alskfdfjlkdldkfa.

jaemin- “other than my members, i don’t have any friends” and yet he’s literally the most caring and wonderful little puff in existence fight me pls dont im a pacifist

heachan- idk why but donghyukie feels like he could be my best friend and also cant stop staring at him in their dance practices his body proportions are unreal and his vocal ad libs?? don’t even get me STARTED on heachans vocals

jisung- he is my son, but also my son’s vocals?? MWAH that voice got me second guessing if he’s really my son

WayV

Ten Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul another member where it kinda just....happened? In the end I was like “damn, when did you sneaky bugger get in my heart?” He’s got a similar vibe as Johnny AND DO NOT COME FOR MY THROAT FOR SAYING THAT THATS MY OPINION Like Johnny, I see myself in Ten. There are so many reasons why I love Ten, so I’ll make it simple and provide them to you.

Reason 1 - Performance/dance he just hit different, he’s THAT good. Reason 2 - vocals the amount his vocals has improved?? UNMATCHED. Reason 3 - INTELLECTUAL (still trying to find the clip of him talking about different kinds of love) Reason 4 - multi-lingual KING ok so this vid is him struggling in mandarin, but imagine, you speak thai and english and learn korean to debut and all of a sudden your agency says “ok learn chinese now.” MANDARIN IS ONE OF THE HARDEST LANGUAGES TO LEARN. Reason 5 - bad b*tch he just radiates bad bitxh energy in everything he does, and I appreciate a bad bitxh

BUT I love wayv’s chaotic energy and chemistry so much that I literally love them all dreamies watch out

+special shoutout to xiaojuns vocals in Love Talk

+kun being a dimpled zaddy (jaehyun&kun type CONFIRMED)

+lucas holding binoculars like THAT @ 1:10

+yangx2 doing THIS (prepare to be blown away)

+hendery being a the best teacher

+winwin BEING WINWIN THE DANCE GOD

+winwin AGAIN and with Ten here i don’t even think i have to say that i tweeted about this everyday for a month and im still not over it. This specific dance really allowed winwin to shine even though ten is my bias. It really allowed others to see the fruit of his classical training even in modern dance which he never trained in. Not gonna be repetitive and SCREAM say that he’s underrated, because we all know that already. Just show winwin some love, ok? thank you.

And so finally, we’ve reached the end. Phew, this took me almost 5 hours to put together because I definitely got carried away. For those who made it all the way to the end, thank you, I love you. It’s so messy and I don’t have the mental capacity to do anymore editing but I hope you got something from this massive post <3 Feel free to let me know what you think! xoxo, jewel

#jewel-s-blog about me #jewel-s-blog bias list #jewel-s-blog

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eeveelutionsforequality · 6 years

Text

Submission:

I'm the MAP anon: I'm gonna be honest with you, so much of your MAP discourse is a) long and rather unwieldy to read and b) seemingly focused on only the intrusive thoughts as a reason not to blame MAPs for anything. It was hard to get a read on your position, as my experience with you was you defending anti-contact MAPs, and given the person's blog I sent you say they're anti-contact, it came off as you defending them as well.

To clarify: my argument was in the scope of that anti-contact, who was still actively and wilfully sexualising minors, one of which was indeed an actual child and another who was being sexualised for when they were a child.

I @ed you not because of anything you said specifically anyway, but because you seemed to be the MAP expert on the blog. You couldn't have known that of course.

Lastly, please bear in mind that:

a) the person I sent you is someone I found through a third party blog, in addition to the fact that you yourself go on about them a lot, so all your instances of you chastising me for “seeking out” MAPs is pointless, and

b) the MAP in those screenshots states they're anti-contact, so this isn't just about the "bad" side of MAPs. It's perfectly reasonable for an outsider to see people like her and think that “anti-contact” is one stop above virtue signalling, and they're just as irredeemable. You know how people go on about how feminists need to do in-house cleaning if they want to avoid people disliking the movement? It's the same for the MAP community as well.

That said: I do genuinely apologise for not reading your arguments through properly. As much as an excuse as this sounds, my executive dysfunction issues make it hard to read as many paragraphs as you write on this subject - I am trying, but still, I dropped the ball a bit. I'm also sorry as well that I basically forced you to reiterate points you've already made probably a fair number of times before, because I know that's annoying af.

So that said, any instance I was misrepresenting your arguments you're free to ignore and I won't respond to your refutements of them since bascially we are actually much on the same page now I know who I'm talking to. There are a bunch of other things I could address but I feel it would be a waste of both our times, so I'll focus only on a few things that really jumped out.

------------------------------------

what about the countries where young boys and girls are routinely used as prostitutes, where assaulting young boys regularly is “tradition”?

[...]

Maybe I’m just manipulated, maybe there’s some grand scheme to turn everybody in the western world into pro-contacts, and a tiny anti-contact community on tumblr dot com is where the disgusting revolution begins… but I highly doubt it.

The old “what about starving children in Africa” argument is not a decent counterpoint to anything since people started using it. One (1) submission to you about MAPs isn't me deciding that's more important issue of child abuse, and you have no idea what else I could be doing day to day.

Also: have you considered that the reason I even sent that in the first place is because of places like that? For example: the west has a keen problem with sexualising young boys, telling them that if older women prey on them they should be grateful, and that it's not rape because boys inherently want sex 24/7. So that MAP and others like her are an issue because hey, they aren't helping that.

Small-scale abuse is still abuse. One minor being preyed on it too many. Other, truly non-offending MAPs getting caught in the crossfire is unfortunate though.

(Also I thought you'd appreciate the juxtaposition of your “child abuse is acceptable on a societal level in some places” comment and the sarcastic “who's trying to make child abuse acceptable on a societal level?” comment.)

[…] but I don’t think that means that they’re not ever allowed to talk about it, or that it’s harming children if they ever do, just that it’s gotta be done safely and reasonably.

You sound just like an anti-shipper right now, honestly.

[...]

Do you feel the same way about people who ship certain ships and talk openly about it?

I knew you were going to bring in anti-shipping. I had had no idea why you would then, and I don't now, but I knew you were going to do it.

Anti arguments are ridiculous because they're about fiction. Getting off to Loli hurts no one because no child was abused to get those pictures. Shipping a 17 yo with a 25 yo, or an abusive relationship, or whatever hurts no one because they aren't real.

MAPs are real people attracted to real minors, so any argument against discussions of their attraction can't just be conflated with anti-shipping. You've already given me plenty of other decent enough reasons, bringing in anti-shipping is at best redundant and at worst conflates real life attraction to minors, and the expression thereof, with fiction. Remember one of the most important points in the anti anti argument is that reality and fiction aren't the same.

Also I don't appreciate being inferred as some kind of pearl-clutcher because I find it abhorrent to have come across an “anti-contact” MAP making explicit comments about at least three real children, one of which they were discussing with another MAP. Half the point was it wasn't done safely or reasonably.

Idk is there a word that differentiates anti-contacts who are like her and anti-contacts who find anything like that abhorrent? If not, that'd be my advice to the community.

If you demonize the act of thinking that thought and the thought itself, rather than the content of the thought if made real, what do you hope to achieve other than causing unnecessary mental strain on a person that could negatively impact their coping?

[...]

That’s like saying that my arthritis isn’t okay, it’s not reasonable… like, it doesn’t matter, I’ve still got arthritis.

You seem to have the wrong idea – I'm not demonising the act of having the thought. I'm demonising the content of said thought, as well as the shitty way it can be (and was in that example) expressed.

I think we're just going to have to agree to disagree on this point tbh. My mother's rheumatoid isn't okay, you may think it's pointless to bring it up but she sees the fact that people don't really acknowledge how “not okay” it is as irritating.

Half the reason I've been able to deal with my depression was acknowledging my thoughts about myself aren't okay, and the only reason I went to the doctor in the first place. The more I remind myself that the contents of those self-hating thoughts aren't okay (namely that it would be actively abusive to be saying these things to someone else for the same reason I say them to myself), the more I'm taking care of myself.

The kind of intrusive thoughts we're talking about with MAPs are probably a different breed to mine, of course. However: that MAP and her pals would do well remembering that the contents of her thoughts, though not something she can help having, are not okay, because the way she's expressing that indicates she very much doesn't care.

You may think it's not important. I disagree.

------------------------------------

There are other things as I said but ehhhh there's no point in arguing with someone you agree with on most things on the basis that we're on differing sides on less important ones. Kinda embarassed I ended up being someone who doesn't do their due dilligence eheh, this is a viceral topic for me so I got ahead of myself. Sorry again.

Previous submission: http://eeveelutionsforequality.tumblr.com/post/167987980707/submission-mod-vaporeon-i-guess-look-i-aint-a

"focused on only the intrusive thoughts as a reason not to blame MAPs for anything"

Not what I'm doing. Maps don't necessarily have intrusive thoughts, they have thoughts and attractions that they didn't choose to have - intrusive thoughts are just something I have that is comparable, and thus that I can empathize with them through. Intrusive thoughts are also something antis have taken to demonizing too lately, and I find that kind of thought policing to be dangerous to those suffering with unwanted thoughts. But none of that means that I'm removing blame from actions or speech.

"given the person's blog I sent you say they're anti-contact, it came off as you defending them as well"

I don't follow cinnamap, but I know that they're anti-contact. If my arguments defending anti-contact positions are also defending their position on those topics, then I'm glad we agree on those things, but that doesn't extend to me defending every view cinnamap has or everything they've ever done.

"my argument was in the scope of that anti-contact"

I apologize for assuming, by your wording and your claims that it was proof of a larger problem in their community, that you were extending blame to other anti-contact maps or justifying judgement against them based on those actions. As I said in the other post, I'll happily have a conversation about how to avoid and rectify situations like those posts.

"who was still actively and wilfully sexualising minors"

I know this is dark and I don't wanna have to say it, honestly it's awful to think about but... at the end of the day, that's what their condition is. The paraphilia is a sexual attraction to children. It can't be magicked away, only coped with. The conversation we're having, in regards to cinnamap, was whether that particular instance of "coping" was more harmful than good to them and others, and how to mitigate that in the future.

"so all your instances of you chastising me for “seeking out” MAPs is pointless"

I wasn't chastising you for that, I had no idea how you came across the stuff - I was chastising antis who actively seek it out to trigger themselves and to attack people. It's not healthy for them and it doesn't help prevention efforts.

"the MAP in those screenshots states they're anti-contact, so this isn't just about the "bad" side of MAPs. It's perfectly reasonable for an outsider to see people like her and think that “anti-contact” is one stop above virtue signalling"

In some of the reblogs on this post, I've talked about, to paraphrase, how pro-contacts are all assholes, but that doesn't mean that anti-contacts are incapable of being assholes: http://eeveelutionsforequality.tumblr.com/post/167769139872/what-the-hell-are-maps

Just because a stance or behaviour isn't pro-contact doesn't mean that it's not flawed or bad in some way. I don't think that anti-contacts are all angels, but judging all anti-contacts by the bad eggs within their anti-contact community (which is what I was saying in the last post), especially when the core of the stance is such an important thing in prevention, would be daft.

Additionally, anti-contact isn't just virtue signaling in this case, it's a stance genuinely held and maintained by cinnamap - anti-contact refers to sexual or romantic contact, criminal offenses, it doesn't refer to whether or not you talk about kids. If I hold the stance that theft is wrong, it doesn't become virtue signaling to hold and maintain that stance even if I'm completely fine with saying that I sometimes think about driving a Ferrari (which I could never afford, ergo would have to steal in order to drive) - as long as I don't steal the Ferrari, I'm still maintaining the morality that I espouse. People read a lot into "anti-contact" and want it to mean more than it does, and then accuse someone who fully adheres to the actual definition of the label, of not being anti-contact because they don't adhere to the add-ons.

It's unreasonable to judge an entire community by a couple of posts written by one person - if somebody is too lazy to do further research into the community and what opinions are essential to it, and what opinions are varied, then they shouldn't be commenting on that community or passing judgements. That's even more extreme than saying that it's perfectly reasonable to judge all football fans by the actions of the football hooligans, without researching what it means to be a football fan or what the vast majority of them are like.

"You know how people go on about how feminists need to do in-house cleaning if they want to avoid people disliking the movement? It's the same for the MAP community as well"

Which is a stance I supported in the very post you're replying to.

"The old “what about starving children in Africa” argument is not a decent counterpoint to anything since people started using it"

That wasn't what I was saying, and I'm sorry that I worded it in a way that could be read as such. I was saying that there are places where such things are normalized, but those practices in those places are considered abominable by our society, there's global effort to prevent them, there's hatred across the western world for pedophilia that exceeds the hatred people have for cannibalistic murderous psychopaths by a longshot. My point was that it isn't going to be normalized here, and that anti-contacts don't want the action normalized or legalized whatsoever, but that there are people out there who do and anti-contacts are as against those people as you and I. My argument was more that what you're talking about is being done by a completely different group and opposed by this group, because from your wording I believed your argument to be that there was some effort within the anti-contact community to normalize assaulting kids.

"Also I thought you'd appreciate the juxtaposition of your “child abuse is acceptable on a societal level in some places” comment and the sarcastic “who's trying to make child abuse acceptable on a societal level?” comment."

Given that my point was "these people are, these people aren't", how do the points at all contradict? Also, it wasn't sarcastic - I genuinely do highly doubt that there's some manipulation conspiracy to normalize it step by step, but it's not impossible, and it's not impossible that good intentioned small movements with positive goals end up supporting much eviler movements, look at radical feminism. Hence why I push so hard for their community to not become an echochamber.

"I knew you were going to bring in anti-shipping. I had had no idea why you would then, and I don't now, but I knew you were going to do it."

I should've expanded on that point:

a) In regards to the words normalizing things and harming the wider populace - it's a tiny hated group on a tiny hated website, it has no normalizing power in the real world, and when done properly (adequately tagged, nsfw, private, etc), it wouldn't fall into the lap of anybody vulnerable enough to be hurt by it (aside from when blogs like the one you linked spreading it in screenshots that other people don't adequately tag, I suppose). One example definitely isn't normalizing anything.

b) You can completely normalize an idea, be 100% okay with the idea, fantasize about it 24/7 (which cinnamap wasn't doing but whatever), and the action still isn't normalized. I've watched so much horror, and I daydream about murder on the regular, I daydream about murdering noisy kids in the shop or people who've wronged me or the neighbour that puts up too many Christmas lights... but I've never killed anybody to my knowledge. I know that murder is wrong and I don't want to actually do it... even if I figuratively want to do it. There's a huge difference between fantasy and action, even when you're fantasizing about real people or actively discussing them.

Along those two veins, I believe that your argument has some of the same flaws as anti-shipper arguments, in regards to the normalizing power of the target group and words in general, and in regards to the level of effect that normalization could have on actions.

"Anti arguments are ridiculous because they're about fiction"

Even if fantasy is about real people, it's still fantasy - a description of a historical figure's aesthetic in a fictional book with commentary on their aesthetic appeal is still fiction. If you have a rape fantasy about somebody you actually know, it's still just a fantasy. From where I stand, as somebody who knows none of those people, as an outsider, there is no difference to the post's impact on me whether cinnamap was talking about a real person or a fictional character. The porn blogs that post short rape stories with gifs to match, and word them as though they're true stories from themselves or others, come across as more real and visceral, and they get put in all sorts of coping and mental health tags without being marked as NSFW.

Honestly, if "I saw a hot kid" on your personal blog that's covered in the word "map", marked as nsfw, and keeping the post out of random tags, is the worst you're doing, you're not really one of the bad bad ones, like, just have a little perspective regarding what they could be doing. It's just words, at the end of the day (disturbing words, but still just words that can be criticized), and I think this conversation alone, let alone the notes on the post you linked, has shown that people will come out in force against that and attempt to correct that behaviour... which is good, as I said, I'm against the post and even small problems are still problems - they're just not problems that justify assuming everyone in the community to be not genuine about the anti-contact position.

This isn't to say "there's worse out there so we can't complain", but rather, complain on par with what is happening - having a little suspicion about their morality and extending questions about that and expressing discomfort with the wording I can definitely understand, especially if you're not very aware of things like what anti-contact means or haven't read any of their other posts, but I cannot understand condemning the whole community with it, accusing it of "normalizing" anything, exaggerating its capability for causing harm, or assuming it a definitive statement on that person's moral code or intent regarding action.

I disagree with the posts, as I've said, I think it was crude and potentially very triggering, but I don't think it had any power to normalize anything or inflict large-scale harm - like anti-shippers, you're inflating the reach and impact of the post, when I think a simpler critique is warranted. If my friend gets drunk and gets into a fight in the pub, I don't say "Your anti-murder stance is basically virtue signaling, I can't trust you or any pub-goers, you're normalizing murder", I say "Stop being a dick, Frank".

"MAPs are real people attracted to real minors, so any argument against discussions of their attraction can't just be conflated with anti-shipping."

I'm not conflating them, I was remarking on an error in your argument that is also an error in theirs - comparison, not conflating. I'm sorry that it came across like I was though, it was badly worded.

"Also I don't appreciate being inferred as some kind of pearl-clutcher"

I wasn't inferring that, I was inferring that your argument had some of the same flaws as theirs. Just because you're both emotionally opposed to something and believe that it causes significant harm and poses significant risk doesn't mean that I'd refer to you both with the same pejorative label - especially when I've expressed opposition to that same post multiple times myself.

"Idk is there a word that differentiates anti-contacts who are like her and anti-contacts who find anything like that abhorrent? If not, that'd be my advice to the community."

I've expressed something similar about the opinion of keeping their distance from kids: http://eeveelutionsforequality.tumblr.com/post/167831648067/did-you-even-try-to-address-any-of-the-points-on

Whether they should divide into smaller groups based on these opinion differences, or whether they should just leave it down to "we're obviously gonna disagree on some things even though we agree on others", is up to them to talk out amongst themselves.

"You seem to have the wrong idea – I'm not demonising the act of having the thought. I'm demonising the content of said thought, as well as the shitty way it can be (and was in that example) expressed."

If the content of the thought is demonized in the context of a thought, and not simply demonizing it in the context of action or specific kinds of expression of that thing, then you are demonizing the act of having the thought. I, personally, think the thoughts are gross and disturbing, however I'm not going to extend ethical judgment to that as the thoughts are not optional, just my own personal emotional judgement that allows people to understand that I don't personally want to hear that stuff unless I've been asked first if I'm in a mood where I can handle hearing it (for example if I'm needed to offer some kind of emotional help through a tough brain day).

There's a big difference between demonizing something, and acknowledging the risks of dwelling on something, acknowledging the emotional impact of it, acknowledging that it would be horrific in reality. A thought is just a thought, just a fantasy, just fiction - like I said in one of the posts I linked to you in my prior response, thoughts definitely can lead to behaviour, but if you're aware that it shouldn't be acted upon and you make the correct safety nets and decisions to prevent such a thing, there's no real reason to begin demonizing something that you cannot help, something that you're forced to mentally endure at length regularly, instead of simply coming to terms with the fact that it's just neurons firing and it has no power. Taking away its power actually helps with resisting.

"My mother's rheumatoid isn't okay, you may think it's pointless to bring it up but she sees the fact that people don't really acknowledge how “not okay” it is as irritating."

The point is that the arthritis not being okay doesn't reflect on the person who has the arthritis - if I'd done something you disliked, you wouldn't bring up the ethics of my arthritis as a way to insult me. If I'd stayed in bed all day because I couldn't move because of my arthritis, you wouldn't say "arthritis isn't okay, it's not reasonable, just get up". Whether the arthritis is "okay" or not doesn't change the fact that it's there, doesn't change whether or not I'm a good person, was my point. Whether it's "okay", in the context of a conversation where it's actually useful to discuss that, would be in reference to how much pain it causes, the stress it causes, the impact it has on life, how to mitigate those things (sympathetic not accusatory) - whether it's "okay" has no place in a conversation about morality. You're switching between two meanings of "okay" and two contexts of using it, and using one to justify the other.

I can't believe that you took my point so out of context here and you sound like you're implying that me, somebody with arthritis, is sat here going "I wish people would just never acknowledge how much it hurts".

You said: “We can accept that MAPs have little to no control over their attraction without accepting that their attraction is valid, reasonable or worth discussing except to demonise.”

Valid and reasonable are both judgements on whether something can or should exist or happen - something unreasonable and invalid should not happen. My point was that there is no point making ethical or logical judgments on the person or on the existence of arthritis or the thoughts, because those things exist and cannot just disappear - demonizing my arthritis, or them demonizing the thoughts, only leads to stress, while accepting limitations, addressing risks, and learning mindfulness are substantially better when faced with things that you can't change than anger and distress. Validity and okayness were pointless to bring up in the context in which you brought them up, because whether valid or invalid, reasonable or unreasonable, okay or not okay, these things are here to stay.

"The more I remind myself that the contents of those self-hating thoughts aren't okay [...]"

What are we using okay to mean now? You seem to change what "okay" means a few times in your replies, initially implying it means "ethical" but now implying it means "healthy".

You could change your thoughts, they can't. Healthy or ethical don't matter - if the conversation is about judgement or whether they should or shouldn't have them - if they're inevitable. If we're talking about reminding yourself of the emotional strain such thoughts can have on others if said to them, reminding yourself that they're dangerous thoughts to allow to consume you, and so on, then yes I believe that's good to remind yourself. If we're using "okay" to mean "ethical" again, and demonizing the thoughts and thereby demonizing the act of thinking them and the person who thinks them, leading to low self-esteem, isolation, and other emotional issues that can increase the risk of offending, then no I don't think it's a good idea for them to remind themselves of that.

"However: that MAP and her pals would do well remembering that the contents of her thoughts, though not something she can help having, are not okay, because the way she's expressing that indicates she very much doesn't care."

A better way to word this - if you mean what I think you mean, or what I would want to say - would be to remember the risk of discomfort to others that comes with the expression of such thoughts, and remember that your wording can convey to others a sense of how strongly you do or do not wish to refrain from very disturbing actions, and however strongly and genuinely you actually feel about that refraining they can't read minds and will make assumptions. Thoughts are just neurons firing, I won't bother judging ethically something that isn't harming anybody, I'm not the thought police - the behaviour is what causes the harm. Once the behaviour is controlled and the thoughts cannot overpower mental and physical safeguards, they're absolutely amoral.

"Kinda embarassed I ended up being someone who doesn't do their due dilligence eheh, this is a viceral topic for me so I got ahead of myself. Sorry again."

That's okay, I've actually been really mentally fucked - depressed, hallucinating, all that fun stuff. And this topic kinda makes me wanna die sometimes. My responses haven't been fantastic and I'm sorry that it's not been a very smooth chat.

#Mod Vaporeon #submission

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benjamingarden · 4 years

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Learning To Live Frugally And Simplify

Admittingly, for a majority of my life I've wanted (longed for) a lifestyle I couldn't afford. I dreamt of a life where I could make (many) spontaneous purchases without having to check my bank account first. And no matter how hard I worked, I just couldn't achieve that goal. In fact, quite the opposite. The harder I worked, the more I felt I needed to "treat" myself and the more pressure I felt to own brand new, trendy things. I even, at one point, had an ongoing list of items I wanted to buy as I could afford them. Not helpful, necessary items - mostly home décor and clothing, jewelry, etc. (none of which I actually needed or had room for). And then, what should have been insignificant but were major to me, issues would happen. They became major because I was living paycheck to paycheck. My car needed work to the tune of $800, I needed a root canal that was going to cost me a few hundred dollars out-of-pocket, and the oven stopped working. So although just over a thousand dollars is nothing to sneeze about, had I been living with a frugal mindset, this would have been a small speed bump. Instead, it was a devastating road block. I couldn't wait for the next couple of paychecks to scrape together the money. Nope. I needed it now. It resulted in a lot of stress as I tried to figure out how in the world I was going to get everything paid for (and which credit cards had enough room to pay for which item). The feelings of shame, embarrassment and downright frustration came flooding to the forefront. I knew I wasn't good with money, after all, I was handling it the way I had seen my parents handle it. And although they made a lot more than we did at the time, they too had constant financial stress. I knew something needed to change, but I didn't think I had the strength to change my path. This didn't happen once. This was a vicious cycle I found myself in from the age of 18 until my mid thirties. It continued to happen until I began to realize that not only did I have the strength to change my path but I had a responsibility to my future self. I wish I could say that once that lightbulb went off things were perfect. Ahhh…..wouldn't that be lovely? But you don't live your entire life one way, the same way you've watched your parents live, and then change everything overnight without any slip-ups. Nope, it's not that easy.

Frugal Living Take One What I realized that I needed to do first was to make a list of goals. Where I wanted to be, what I wanted to do, how I wanted my life to look. I needed something real to work toward. I hated working for other people, I am just not a corporate, top-down, kinda girl. That being said, I worked a corporate job, did my job dutifully and to the best of my ability, but in the back of my mind I couldn't wait to get out. So, that became one of my goals. Working for myself. Owning a small homestead, creating our own business, growing much of what we eat, and living a more simple, intentional life was the start of my list. And I found the list was a great idea! It helped me focus and pass on purchases that I previously would have made without any thought to the contrary. I followed Dave Ramsey's "will this purchase help my future self?" thought process. And then I slipped up. Stress was high at work, we began eating take-out regularly (I mean, who has the energy to cook after a stressful day at work? I reasoned....), and I made a quick stop at Target for 2 items where I made the mistake of walking through the entire store rather than leaving after I selected the 2 items. Shopping can be like a high of sorts. You feel anxious, you find an item that you "need" to update your home or your wardrobe, and you suddenly feel good. And I did -- until I got home. "I can't do this" I told myself. I threw my pity party (for the next few hours) before I got over myself and decided I would do better tomorrow. I continued to make a decision to stop trying to demonstrate my value through things that I own. I began consciously ignoring the constant advertising of what I "needed" in my life. I learned that if I wanted to stop being judged by what I had or didn't have, I too needed to stop judging. I began to find the real me.

Frugal Living Take Two I just kept jumping back on the horse. I was determined to get to the new version of my dream life and I was embracing what truly made me happy. There were days (and weeks) that I honestly questioned whether or not it was possible, but I had to keep believing. And then the universe decided it was time to really test me. I hadn't yet figured out what I was going to do for self-employment so I continued working for an employer that I struggled with. The last straw was broke when I found out she was speaking poorly about me to outside vendors to make herself look better and together my husband and I decided I needed to leave. I did not have anything lined up. We didn't have much saved. We were out of debt (thankfully) but had just recently paid off everything except our mortgage. And my husband's job was not fully stable, he was only working full-time about half of the year. I gave a 2 month notice and was allowed to work out 2 weeks. And then reality hit. And I got scared. Initially I began looking for a new job. Then I realized this was my opportunity to begin self-employment. I started our soap & skincare company, but because there is so much overhead involved, I was forced to grow it very slowly. We just didn't have the income to throw into the business. I was also forced to live extremely frugally. I didn't realize that I needed this test but I did. A long story short, I did end up returning to work while we continued building our business and was able to leave outside employment for good two years ago. The only reason we are both able to work for ourselves in a very small business is because we live frugally and have simplified our lives (wants/needs). Could we get more frugal? Absolutely. Could we simplify more? That's a big YES. It all comes down to contentment. I've chosen to look at the world through the lens of what I do have, not of what I don't have because the reality is, there will always be something I don't have. Things that I constantly need or want if I were to continue on that path. related posts: 12 Ways That I've Simplified My Life 23 Frugal Tips To Try This Year What Simplifying My Life Has Taught Me

What Does Frugal Living Have To Do With Simple Pleasures? Frugality encourages us to fully appreciate simple pleasures. For instance, I used to purchase a latte from Starbucks twice a day (I know, it was ridiculous!). It was something I just did. I didn't necessarily appreciate the latte, I expected it. Once I decided to break that habit and began making my own coffee at home, the few times I did purchase a latte out I truly appreciated every aspect about it - the delicious syrup, not having to make it myself, and the perfectly steamed soy milk. And it's continued to stay as that - a rare treat. Living frugally means we don't need bigger and better treats to continue seeking happiness. Instead, we find it. And it's almost always in the most simplest of things and often, in things that are already in our lives.

living simply and frugally has given me time to fully appreciate the change of seasons

Frugal Lessons Learned Frugality gives you options. Whatever you want to do - work for yourself, retire, travel, work part-time, - frugality helps make that happen. You're no longer spending your way out of a life you'd like to live. Living frugally allows you to be prepared for the inevitable crisis. Car needs major repair? No problem. Refrigerator needs to be replaced, NOW. Okay doke! Lost your job? You're financially ok for a few months while you search for a new one. Simplifying your needs and wants allows you space (and time) to appreciate the things you have in a whole new way. It also allows you space and time to appreciate the people around you in a whole new way. It allows for contentment. Frugality and simplifying your life means you aren't tied to a rigid budget. Because you no longer spend lavishly, counting pennies just isn't necessary. Frugality makes you happier (although it's hard to see that initially). When I chose to stop shopping, I found that I became less stressed. I was spending less money on things, and less time finding those things, which meant I was no longer always on the hunt for something I "needed" to make my home or myself appear more acceptable, or to temporarily fill a void. This has made me happier. It has also alleviated the stress of being surrounded by things I didn't need or (later) regretted purchasing. At the end of the day do new, trendy things really mean that much? If it all ended tomorrow, do you honestly think that's what you would regret? Not owning a brand new vehicle, nicer furniture, or a larger home? All this being said, I completely understand that there are people who are frugal out of necessity and I'm not trying to be insensitive to that. In those instances, they may not be able to handle the curveballs mentioned above quite so easily. I'm grateful that it's a choice for me and am speaking specifically to voluntary simplicity and frugality.

Do you live voluntarily frugal and/or simply? What have been some of your struggles? What do you love about the way you live?

Learning To Live Frugally And Simplify was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

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