Afterwards, they do a race. They don’t talk about it, but it’s there, between them still. Something settled between them. Cleo doesn’t know how to say it; they never know how to say things like this. Still, they need to, so they wait until Ren’s race is over and then hike through the jungle to go sit on top of Etho’s base and wait for him to show up as well.
He doesn’t. He’d gone to their base. Instead of just showing up for each other, they have to somewhat awkwardly coordinate over text which base to meet at. It forces everything to feel more real.
When they finally meet up, it’s in the shopping district, leaning against the button. A dangerous game in theory, but Cleo’s not fully convinced it can explode at this point, so.
Cleo breathes. They’re both quiet for a moment.
"Okay, so like, are we doing this?" Cleo says.
"I don’t really know, uh, what this is," Etho says, "but I… care about you. I think. So I think we’re doing that."
Cleo nods once. "You know I don’t fall in love, right? I’m not going to fall in love with you, I don’t do that. Might say something about loving you, but it’s not the same thing. Different sense of the word. It’s different, loving people and falling in love, got it? And I won’t do that second thing. I’m never going to do that second thing. I don’t--"
"Okay. I know," Etho says.
"Do you?" Cleo asks.
"I mean, not entirely, but I’m frankly surprised we’re having this conversation in the first place. I never expected you to be in love with me."
"But I’m not," Cleo says. "I’m attracted to you, and I love you as like, a companion and friend or whatever, but I’m not in love with you. I’m. Ugh. I wish I knew the right words. I just--I also don’t let go of things so if we’re doing this you’re going to have to get used to that real fast. Me not being in love with you but me not letting you go, both of those things."
"You're attracted to me? Aw, Cleo," Etho says.
"Don't be an ass," Cleo says.
"Sorry, sorry. It's just, geez, this is--a heavy conversation, huh?"
Cleo sighs. "We'll work on the deflection."
Etho rubs the back of his head and looks away. "Uh, in that case. If I'm maybe a little in love with you--"
"I can't--I can't reciprocate that, Etho," Cleo says, and their voice cracks as they do.
"I know," Etho says. "I just want to make sure it's okay, then."
"You can't help that, can you? Just like I can't help that I still sort of want to kill anyone who hurts you."
Etho seems to think about it for a while. Cleo resists the urge to fidget. She's a zombie. She shouldn't have the urge to fidget; she should be too dead for that. Besides, it's hardly like it's a secret she doesn't fall in love, exactly. It's just... it's only relevant sometimes. Feeling like, as she watches Etho and Bdubs dance around each other, she's on the outside looking in. She'd kill to hold their hands, to protect them, hell, even to kiss them--but that's different. She just can't summon the same emotion of... she doesn't know.
Martyn had almost gotten it, for all he didn't get anything else, in the end. Scott was never going to fall in love with her in the first place, for obvious reasons. Whatever attraction she and Pearl have going on, it's definitely not love.
But this...
"Okay," Etho says.
"That's it?" Cleo says.
"I mean, does it need to be anything else?" Etho says. "It's not like we can just... not do this. I think it's too late for that. Whatever 'this' is. I'm in love, and you aren't, but we'd both be pretty upset to lose this, right? So I'll... figure it out."
Cleo swallows. They feel small. "Will you? Do you understand?"
Etho shrugs. "I understand that it's you, and it's you that this happened with, not anyone else."
"Okay," Cleo says. "Okay."
"Is it okay if I kiss you? Just to try it, I mean. Not like, as a--this is a bad time, actually, I don't want to try to make any kissing we do romantic, I mean, you just told me this won't be romantic, I--"
"Yeah, sure, you can kiss me," Cleo says, and he leans in to kiss them. It's nice. A little soft for what they'd want, really, but nice. He leans back. He looks them in the eyes.
"I get it a little more now."
Cleo is baffled. "How? Kissing is just like, a thing we did? How does that have anything to do with any of the rest of this."
Etho laughs. "I definitely get it a little more now. What do you want to tell the others? I know they're definitely gossiping."
"Ugh. Can we just, like, not?" Cleo says. "I don't want to have to explain it."
"I'll just be confusing then, got it," Etho says, and Cleo can't help but laugh themselves.
"This is why you're my favorite," Cleo says, and they think maybe this will work out okay, after all.
439 notes
·
View notes
Digital Circus AMA Notes
Digital Circus is getting a season 1 at some point!!!!
#webcore aesthetic board for the series design
Pomni was going to be a frog originally. 🐸
90s toys Zooble inspo
Caine is an antagonist, but not by active choice, he doesn't know he's not helping. He doesn't feel a whole spectrum of human emotions (he's an AI).
"Caine canonically just lets things happen if he thinks it's funny."
Characters eat like Chao in Chao garden in Sonic. The characters can eat the food, but they can't digest it.
Jax's favorite food is spaghetti.
Pomni likes salmon.
Q "Was the ending a 'Last Supper' reference?" A "in a very superficial kinda way yeah." Religious stuff is sometimes just used for the funny.
Gooseworx tumblr sketches MAY or MAY NOT be canon to the series, so it's up in the air for every single one.
People can abstract from feeling too much pain if it breaks their mind from it being too much. Characters feel pain from things, but not as intensely as they would in real life.
Zooble is gonna swap parts every episode (implying they have spare parts) except their body & head.
Jax chose his own name & gooseworx likes to think he chose Gangle's name.
Ragatha was named "Emmy" originally.
They (the cast of characters trapped in the circus) can't change their clothes but Caine can. It's part of their skin sorta kinda.
There's empty space under Pomni's hat because video game model physics.
Spamton was partially inspo for Caine, Caine's VA did Spamton dubs.
Gangle only has 2 masks. Why's it (her hapiness mask) break all the time? Mental state, but the "real her" is "harder to break."
Kaumfo was gonna be part of the main cast originally before Jax.
Kaufmo's model has nothing below the waist at this time, but was made for that promotional image on twitter.
Q "What kinda person was Kaufmo?" A "He was the same as Ragatha in a sense, goofy & cheery, sometimes toxic levels of positivity."
I'm paraphrasing for the sake of note taking in real time, go watch the stream playback for more context & details if you want.
165 notes
·
View notes
If ur still doing reqs id love older brother and little siblimg 0003!! I love es and fuuta sm, you can choose what they do but id rather it be post/no milgram!! Tysm
Ahh this was such a sweet request, thank you ✨ I had a lot of fun with it! I kept the details loose -- I don't know how t3 actually shakes out -- but Es still doesn't know much about themselves, so they end up moving in with the Kajiyamas. Enough time has passed for things to become fairly normal between the two.
“What are you doing? It’s giving me the fucking creeps.”
Fuuta made a disgusted face, but Es didn’t seem to notice. They just kept standing in the middle of the kitchen. It was 3am. They were barefoot, wearing one of Fuuta’s old pairs of pajamas. They stared at the countertop intently. They hadn’t even turned on the lights. Fuuta waved his phone flashlight around, trying to see what they were up to. It didn’t look like anything had been touched.
He took a step closer. His nerves were already on edge, coming into the kitchen to steal a late night snack and finding them standing ominously in the darkness. The little bit of light from his phone reflected in their icy gray eyes.
“Oi, Es…?”
Sleepwalking. That had to be it. Fuuta rolled his eyes, breathing a small sigh at the realization. The sound was somewhere between relief and annoyance. Es was an odd kid as it was. It had been strange getting used to them living in his house, and now he had to deal with freaky stuff like this…
Fuuta approached as quietly as possible, putting his phone down. He reached out his hand. He planned on guiding them back to bed in silence, but he must have been too harsh with his grip.
Es gasped, the dull look in their eyes turning to shock.
Fuuta immediately leapt backwards, his startled curse turning to frantic apology.
“Y-you were sleepwalking, I was trying not to wake you up but…” he trailed off, seeing Es scan the kitchen and get their bearings.
“It’s alright. I’m used to waking up in strange places, I suppose.”
Fuuta grimaced. ‘Odd kid’ was an understatement.
They didn’t seem to notice. Their expression had darkened. “I… I was dreaming. I was back there, and,” their voice shook with sudden emotion. “And we were all…” their breath caught.
“Hey, don’t go and start cryin’ on me.” They didn’t sound like they were going to cry exactly, but he couldn’t be too careful. He wouldn’t know what to do. “You’re not some baby. All of that is over now.”
Fuuta had meant it as encouragement; he knew how strong Es was. As strange as they may be, they were the toughest person Fuuta had ever met. Realizing that his words may have come out a bit harsh, he tried to speak softer. “Really, it’s all over. You can relax here.”
Es nodded, but stayed silent. The two stood in the dim glow of the flashlight.
Fuuta coughed. “Now, did you want something, or…?” He gestured to the fridge, then made his way around them. He dug around inside for a snack.
“N-no. Thank you. I’ll be heading back to bed, then. I’m sorry to have frightened you.”
“I wasn’t scared.” Fuuta said quickly. He took out something, sniffed it, and shrugged. “And anyway, it was way less terrifying than when Haruka did it.”
“Haruka sleepwalked?”
“Yeah, and when you wake a normal person up from it, they’re supposed to go into fight or flight. None of us were itching to deal with Haruka’s fight response, you know?” Fuuta took a big bite. He turned to find Es with a miserable look on their face. Through the food, he mumbled, “what?”
“I… I didn’t know that. About Haruka.”
“Okay?”
“There’s so much I didn’t know about all of you.”
“You also didn’t know jack shit about yourself, so we can call it even.” Fuuta took another bite, assuming the conversation was over.
Es wasn’t as satisfied. “I mean it,” they said, their voice still strained. “I thought I knew you, but I’ve learned so much here. There was so much I didn’t know about you. I never knew what your family was actually like, or how well-kept your room is,” they gestured to him, “or that you hardly ever sleep normally.”
Fuuta couldn’t tell if it was a criticism or not. He clicked his tongue. “Well, I never knew that strawberry milk was your favorite, but you don’t see me getting misty-eyed about it.”
Es had opened their mouth to continue, but they blinked in surprise. “How did you know I liked it?”
“Because I like it, and you keep drinking everything in the house.” He rolled his eyes.“I bought twice as much last time I went out, and you still ended up stealing it all. There’s only one little carton left…”
Es’ face slowly softened. Then, a devilish smirk crossed their lips. “You know, I thought I heard that milk is good to drink before you go to sleep…”
“Eh? Oh, hell no! That’s mine.” He went back to the fridge, rummaging around to get it.
“Says who?”
“Says me. I’m older. And I liked it first.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. And I should get it because I’m younger.”
“Now that doesn’t make sense!” Fuuta retrieved the milk. He turned the carton over in his hand. A thought crossed his mind – one he would never speak aloud to anyone, ever. He recalled his sister helping him when he was too small to reach the milk. She used to heat it up for him before bed.
He lazily tossed it across the kitchen. “Not like I care. Here, be grateful.”
Es scrambled to catch it. Once again, their expression turned emotional. “Fuuta…”
“It’s not a big deal, sheesh!” He picked his phone up from the counter, biting down on the snack he’d grabbed. “Like I said, all that is over. You just gotta be normal now. I know that’s hard for a weirdo like you –”
“Hey!”
“– but just try, okay?” He shoved Es’ shoulder as he walked. “C’mon. Pops doesn’t care when I’m up, anymore. But he’ll give a goody-two-shoes like you a lecture if he hears.”
“I’m not a goody-two-shoes.”
“Psh, you’re the worst I’ve ever seen!”
“There’s nothing wrong with being disciplined.”
“Drink your damn milk.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
29 notes
·
View notes