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manticore-fangs · 3 days

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honestly. heres reasons why i like soap & gaz more then ghost. (i must say, so no one gets mad. in my opinion)

(i love ghost because of his trauma, but im just naming stuff that he HASNT done.)

-the whole scene of gaz scuba diving, having to kill people with knives, then having to grab a gun to then.. basically murder everyone. tell me that isnt sick?

-gaz in the helicopter scene, shooting cars. then falling out to shoot UPSIDE DOWN?? tell me that isnt the coolest fucking thing ever. not sure how his cap stayed on.. (maybe hes got spares) and then started hijacking cars.. THEN DESTROYED AN APC TANK? yeah. thats my my man.

-ghillie mission?? the fuck. having to perfectly aim to get the target. and then gaz going down to basically slaughter more then 50 people. this man.. in his ghillie suit, probably sweating, taking out men. also having to use a gas grenade to wash out the people, and kill them, while on top of a roof. yeah.. yeah? yeah!!

-then, THEN!!! the mission with alejandro. now, that.. that was sick. having to throw the grenade and reveal the lasers. to then move to where valeria was staying? i personally think the grenade part was cool.. not sure about everyone else though.

-then, in mw3.. gaz is hoping onto houses, into apartments and shooting down enemies. now, i havent played this myself. but i think thats sick, how hes climbing apartments and shooting down the konni members. THEN KNOCKING THE FUCK OUT NOLAN, THEN CARRYING HIM???? holy fuck, gaz your my 2nd favourite man.

-soap!! first scene playing as him? it was with ghost, but the fact he was in night vision, hunting and your probably thinking "oh! ghost is doing the same thing" yes, that doesnt change anything. especially in the future. (coughs alone missio-) soap sniping people when they start to snipe down at people, on the roofs in that first mission. while laying in the grass.

-soaps 2nd mission. was.. cartel protection mission. yes, ghost was there too. but soap going first into the houses, alongside alejandro. and shooting down the army. THEN being chased down by the cartel army, to a dead end, then JUMPING down and shooting cartel army while swimming with the fish. yeah.. yeah? yeah!!

-then soap, getting basically interviewed by valeria and diego. answering the questions.. able to speak FUCKING SPANISH. yeah.. amazes me. and also being able to get to the 2nd floor, attacking the guards, then killing diego. yeah.. this is MY #1 MAN!!!!!!!!

-then, soap in the dark water mission. de-activating the missile for the first time?? omg, yes. that was beautifully done. even though graves was there... AND having to shoot on a ship, with most likely sea legs. yeah.. yeah.

-OH< MY FAVOURITE PART. the alone mission. soap with a hole in his upper arm, and having to crawl around shadows. with a limp and almost blacking out a few times. then also having to kill shadows, going through houses to look for some metal, and other materials was amazing. then having too go into tunnels and shit.. yeah. that was amazing.

-lastly, the tank mission. having to use c4 to explode the tank! even though graves wasnt in it.. it was cool no matter what. i geniunely loved that mission. one of my favourites. having to get clsoe enough to the tank and having to explode it was amazing..

-i know we dont play as gaz and soap. but the tundra mission in mw3, UNDERWATER WAS COOL. even though it was just a few seconds was absolutely amazing.

i like how i can go into deep writing to say this but cant even write 2.5k words for smut. amazing.

#john soap mactavish #call of duty #cod mw2 #cod #simon ghost riley #cod mwii #soap cod #modern warefare ii #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #gaz garrick #gaz mw2 #gaz cod #gaz call of duty #soap #cod x reader #simon riley

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ganondoodle · 2 days

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I just wanna say firstly that i adore your artwork and takes6on Zelda in general! Secondly, much as I wish you never had to deal with the frustrations of creating (especially when you tack on the stress of being on any kind of social platform), I'm glad you talk about your struggle. I've heard people talk about art block every day since I learned what Art was, but nobody ever mentioned "painting oneself into a corner". It's such an apt description that is so infuriatingly relatable that I had to stop eating to thank you for putting it into words. I really appreciate that you're willing to talk about your setbacks in a place like Tumblr, and still share your arts and thoughts. All the best from US of hellscape A, i hope you're doing well.

Thank you!

i used to call it artblock as well, its the most normalized term i guess; i randomly started calling it painting myself into a corner when i got stuck or frustrated on a painting bc welll, it sure feels like it, you painted the walls all around you and dont know how to get out now

it usually happens when i stop having fun and just draw what i want and instead keep subconsciously forcing myself into arbitrary rules; in my case its usually trying to be too perfect, i try to adhere to the sketch, i try to make every block of color have a perfectly clean edge, separate the drawing into way too many layers and am afraid to delete or erase anything, i tense up my whole body as frustration builds bc of impatience as this method of painting does not work for me at all and in the end lose motivation on it all and my nerves are stretched thin (i work best when i think as little as possible, just kinda loosely letting my hand do what it wants on few layers and no specific plan, after losing that its hard to get it back)

having those low moments with your art is normal as your skill grows, but even knowing so, and having gone through it countless times, it never stops making you feel like shit, and its especially frustrating when it happens when you just got enough time to work on stuff or have alot of ideas but you cant get it to work

(and funnily enough it also tends to happen after another work of mine got more attention than i thought .. even worse when it was just a sketch bc now i got the pressure on me to actually finish it and the fear of it doing worse once done looms over the whole thing- which doesnt mean i dont want people to interact with my wips, bc that also has an extremely demotivating factor to it bc it makes me think no one cares or it sucks and doesnt deserve the time i would need to spend on finishing it; also .. alot of my wips stay wips forever, which is fine, but like .. you cant always expect a finished tm version to happen)

i do find it a little funny you praise me for talking openly about it bc i am notoriously unable to shut up ever and only recently got better at NOT talking as much about it when i feel as shitty as this bc it doesnt really help anyone and gets annoying really fast xD (im also notoriously unable to not post absolutely everything bc i got no one to show it to and otherwise it will just collect dust on my harddrive so i might as well throw it out there no matter how much i might hate it, someone else might still enjoy it anyway)

and greetings back from the -not really much less of a hellscape- that is germany o/

#ganondoodles answers #currently sinking deeper into that corner lol #been trying to draw the ancient rito guy and based it on those cool looking fruit doves #but forgot its kinda dumb from a color perspective bc its largely green ....... like the damn stone ..........#also been doing the ... all the things i mentioned above that make me feel this frustrated depressed kinda thing #i just WANT TO DRAW LET ME DRAW THERES SO MCUH TO DRAW ARGH

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kiruyeen · 3 days

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rambling abt my danny johnson hcs bc I dont have anything better to do

alright so the fog most definitely changed everyone in it, but while most of them are for worse, Danny for better, actually. not for the "hehe I can mutilate people without worrying abt consequences" part. by all means I believe danny would get bored. of the same methods of killing, sacrifing, stalking for short periods, the same realms, same victims, etc. Danny, as patient as he can be while stalking, is a thrill seeking man, and only human, whether he likes it or not.

but this is a key part of him actually getting to explore who 'danny johnson' is. he spent his entire life putting on masks, physical or metaphorical, that he has no idea who 'danny' is otherwise, and this would give him a chance to explore, since, well, being painfully average isnt any advantage to him here and he has nothing better to do since he cant focus his attention on stalking and studying other people. when theres no one left to study, one is forced to study themselves.

he could actually grow out his hair, give himself stick and poke tats (maybe with the help of the legion, who knows), grow a beard to see if he likes it (I dont think he would), etc.

going from this, if he forms genuine bonds with anyone (especially any survivors) bc yk what else is left to do, he could actually, just maybe, open up about his past and realize oh fuck, that shit wasnt healthy or normal at all. I dont think itd fix him, but itd give him a better understanding of himself. I dont think he would ever upon up about this if it wasnt for the fog.

similarly I dont think he'd form any romantic bonds with anyone if it wasnt the fog as well, I fully believe danny used to cut himself off (more accurately, cut THEM up) as soon as he felt his feelings for anyone would get in the way of his mission. I dont think he even recognizes romantic love anymore. the difference in the fog is, well, you cant get rid of your problems by murdering them here bc they just come back like a boomerang.

he semi-canonly has NPD (as in the devs called him a bit narcissistic once and I stuck to it like a starving leech) and I most definitely believe he has the symptoms, as a lack of a sense of self is common with NPD anyway. I never wanna think too much abt this since I have a deeply set fear of misrepresenting already stigmatized disorders esp due to not having NPD myself but I will say, 1, he definitely has an internal hierarchy but the way he feels abt those above and below him are different than you'd assume, and 2, he would have been a murderer regardless of his npd and the npd has nothing to do with him becoming a murderer, it does influence it naturally yes bc its a PERSONALITY disorder but its not what makes him evil yk. its the ritualized abuse he went through all his life with the explicit intent to make him the way he is.

other, small stuff

so since the entity can and does change a few things with the killers, I love to think Danny has tapetum lucidum in his eyes, like a cat, to see better in the dark, esp beneath the mask's eyes.

the way his costume's... strap.. tentacle... things work is similar to a cat's tail as well. swishing furiously when upset, resting naturally when calm, curling slowly when curious etc. it makes it a little bit easier to guess how hes feeling with the emotionless mask on, for the theoretical audience at least.

he's actually not a fan of physical contact, unless it is to cause discomfort to or fluster someone. he's simply not used to it, but he will tolerate it when necessary. he's likely just touch starved but doesnt recognize the sensation, though.

he would not care enough to label his orientational identity but it'd definitely be pan and somewhere on the a-spectrum.

returning to the only getting to know himself after the fog bit, he'd probably realize hes at least a little bit gender queer. (I also love trans man danny headcanons I just cant seem to make it fit with my other hcs)

alr thats abt it I believe. feel free to share ur ideas as well I love reading abt different interpertations for a character esp when it is the silly sopping wet cat that is danny

#dead by daylight #dbd #danny jed olsen johnson #danny johnson #the ghostface #ghostface dbd #I never know what to tag for him #the ghost face #headcanon #dbd headcanons #jed olsen #long post

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fictionfixations · 2 days

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Kalim in RSA (and I get off-topic)

Spoilers for Book 4 and 5 (im sorry jamil enjoyers. but im so biased towards kalim its not even funny)

(this spiraled into me talking all about kalim in the actual game so oops)

imagine how different the story would be if kalim was in RSA

and we just hear from jamil about these snippets about his 'master' (although itd be weird they'd be separated if jamil tended to him often to where he'd prob be like his personal servant? idk what situation would have jamil talk to us anyway but yknow maybe we get close, he's like the other friend who seems cool? he'll basically help us out with knowledge about things, fleshing out the world a bit more, as the only sophomore in the group cause he kind of feels responsible maybe? then BETRAYAL)

and then eventually partway through the school year KALIM IS THERE (we know why though) and he somehow ends up housewarden.

i have a dislike against RSA. its very petty and its kind of because they keep winning (and they dont even mean ill intent which is worse! …but its kind of like kalims kindness. and i like kalim but that might make me biased. SO. thus the existence of this.)

we probably wouldnt like him much right? (and i imagine he'd get his fair share of bullies. we find this out. he laughs it off like 'nah, im used to attempted assassinations and everything. this isnt nearly as bad.')

(id do the clapping between but ppl get annoyed, and i get annoyed) CUE KALIM BEING MORE THAN SMILES AND WE LEARN THAT ABOUT HIM !!

HES aware enough that he can cook food good using JUST magic (which takes precision to use it as good or even better than your hands right??. its in his labwear vignette. ruggies teaching him ofc so ruggie wants it to be good cause hes taking leftovers, BUT CMOONNN he can learn. ..and yeah it took a few years for jamil to teach kalim antidotes to common poisons so he could do it easy but kalims hardly a master at making potions so i call that good)

AND in book 5 he noticed vil had like the same look as jamil to where he knew something was going to go wrong (aka the poisoning)

maybe its to show how much kalim doesnt belong in NRC and thats why they dont pull the 'more than he looks at first glance' like cater with glimpses in vignettes and etc

but like COME ON.

the sultan might be dumb (i recently re-watched aladdin) but at least he knew enough that he didnt want jafar marrying his daughter cause hes OLD and also he doesnt want to force jasmine into anything (good intentions. im sure if they just waited and she didnt find a suitor in time he would've just CHANGED THE LAW like he did IN THE MOVIE because he wants her to be happy!)

ALSo he tried to look through the law jafar claimed to say that would make her have to be married to the vizier or whatever (aka jafar) but then jafar just pulled it away before he could (and then attempted to mind control him when he refused) mans was prepared to spend hours reading over it even if he didnt understand it but he wasnt given the chance

also kalim is worryingly nonchalant about stuff. i mean. you can get used to horrible things to where they just feel so normal and uninmportant i guess? but poor bby. hes been like 'i want to keep myself alive because if i die then someone else will get punished.' or like about poisoning, if someone has a change of mind and hes already dead, then he cant do something to help them, so he has to make sure he'll live.

..i really doubt that hes just. so oblivious. maybe in denial, but still.

anyway i got very off topic. my bad. and to be fair we do get to see more of him at some parts. but hhh

okay listen. denial. (i am also a believer that if when kalim confronted jamil, if he said he didnt do anything kalim wouldve believed him. bruh gave him excuses like '..i just got tired, right?')

"The real Jamil would never do such things! He's a good guy. He's always helping me, giving me a shoulder to lean on, and—" (Book 4 • Chapter 33)

we just. dont see him really crumble?? he just. keeps being optimistic

we convince him jamil is bad. he resolves to punch him for being a traitor and THATS IT?

he sobs at the end of jamils overblot but then he goes back to being optimistic like 'lets be equals!' (..it feels like he didnt really learn much though as he's still 'I didn't notice--' 'I--' and i wish he couldve gotten more awareness. cause he makes it about himself yknow and blaming himself but COME ON put some blame on jamil PLEASE? or like. ANYONE ELSE. you also cant notice shit if no one ever tells you about it that you dont even know to look for it! he doesnt want to be cautious about who he can trust so like, why would he think to doubt the person who hes known his entire life??? especially if its something that was just always there that it feels natural, how could he know better? hes sheltered! so someone shouldve explained it to him, made him realize things! aghhh)

heres the book 5 one btw

"I got a real bad feeling when I saw the look on your face after Neige's rehearsal. It was practically the same look I saw on Jamil's face when he lost control of himself over holiday break." (Book 5 • Chapter 62)

And I mean maybe he did learn in that he's more aware of this now than others because he knows what people could look like because of Jamil, but I feel like a lot of things were just so unsaid. That the first time blindsided him, but now he's kind of a little more worried about something happening while he's there that he didn't notice so now he's trying to notice things more??? Or like maybe having gut feelings that he'd ignored before because it was Jamil but now knowing better?

So he can be aware. but then the rest of the time he's just thought of as dumb or an idiot or forgetful and it just makes me sad. and i mean i get that he wants to see the best in people but we never really talk about how its more that its denial. a refusal to see it, and i want to understand why

or maybe its because he sees the good in people that he trusts they'll do the right thing. or he believes that the good outweigh the bad (although i dont know if it'd be the same case if it was someone he knew who got hurt)

like. okay back in book 5

"Besides, I would bet there isn't a single person in Scarabia who hasn't gotten help from Jamil at some point. Am I right?"

"See? There you go. He's been a model vice housewarden. In fact, he's put me to shame. He let dark thoughts get the better of him for a brief time. Other than that, he's a perfectly capable guy." (Book 5 • Chapter 10)

He justifies it with that Jamil isn't the only one to blame (he also blames himself), and that Jamil hadn't done anything wrong before then

which. AGAIn. means that in his eyes the good outweigh the bad. jamils better at his duties so jamil should stay as vice housewarden.

this was the first time jamil did anything bad so it'd be fine, it was just an error in judgment

AGHHh

nothing about the fact that his closest friend he views as a brother

"He's grown up with Jamil since a young age, and considers him a brother in all but blood." (from the In-game Album)

who would be the last person he'd expect to do such a thing BETRAYS HIM, planning to make everyone (or well just the people in scarabia) turn against him

like. that has to be a shock right??? AND THEN HE JUST. welcomes him back into his life like it was nothing im just. kALIM. SWEETIE.

and i mean i get its for the best since if anyone knew what actually happened anything could happen to jamil (and jamil has his own reasons i get that but this is about kalim)

but he still hangs around him. has him as his aide. so while something did change, it also feels like nothing changed at the same time.

"I'm always chosen. Always. That's such an obvious truth that I never even consciously processed it. But now I see that was only possible because of Jamil's constant sacrifices. He created that "truth" in my mind by always holding back. By always letting me win. ...It stings. "Galling" doesn't even begin to describe it." (Book 5 • Chapter 30)

also like one of the very few times he expresses how he feels about something (how it hurts not to be chosen for the first time, and/or that he was only chosen because of someone else so he wants to work hard)

and then grim shuts him down with "You wanna talk about galling? Imagine how I feel not even makin' the cut for the audition to start with."

like. COME ON.

Kalim responds with, "Ah, you're right. My bad! I didn't mean to rub it in. Goodness, there I go again! I'm super sorry, honest."

and yeah it can seem kind of spoiled but also. its probably because of that that he doesnt want to share his troubles because he's very privileged so it feels like he might not deserve to act like its anything when everyone else has to work so much harder, right?

AND ITS JUST. REAFFIRMING TO HIM THAT his troubles are nothing compared to anyone elses and im just aghhauihduadhw

he also cares a lot about other people (people like him as housewarden because he listens to their troubles and supports them) so i just. want him to be able to take a moment to care about himself and just admit these things that he usually doesnt get the chance to.

i got a lot more worked up than i meant to

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yamchala · 1 month

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It's a beautiful new day (hey!)

happy 1 year to the mario movie! :D

#super mario bros #mario and luigi #mario bros #nintendo #mario #luigi #smb #my art #please take this away from me i've been working on it since last year aughhh #cant do anything else to it!! i dont know what else to do to it!!

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puppyeared · 6 months

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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

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fullmoonfireball · 8 months

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i'm feeling really normal about smash bros verse olimar btw .

#Rambles Into The Void #long post #headcans #dont know what else to tag this as lmao-#i think olimar would probably come up with unique species names for the 'unsure' tier guys but i cant come up with anything #dead certain at least some of the guys i put in the 'human ('lythe' type)' tier arent but genuinely i do not care #if i (a human) cannot tell they arent human then i dont think olimar would be able to tell without asking #the only reason i didn't make him lump hylians into the lythe human category is bc like. koppaites #completely different species from hocotatians but the only canon visual distinction is the ears #so i think he would recognize that difference and thus actually ask

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frecklystars · 7 days

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#star!keri #vent art #💕♬♪ ♡☆ I just want to be your lovin' teddy bear 🌟🧸♬♪☆#im ok i just have a migraine and im overwhelmed and sad and i got triggered and augh #i miss the color pink.#this whole pic was gonna be all different shades of pink but then i couldnt do it #had to change the colors #i tried watching lars and the real girl by myself and yknow theres the whole pink room thing #im trying to associate it with barbie but god it just . feels fresh. had to turn it off #seeing my abuser twice in a short timeframe is kind of fucking me up :) hello. why do u exist and why do i have to see it.#but hey i did use SOME pink in here?? baby steps??? i feel stupid but whatever #you know pink used to be one of my favorite colors #i will get it back even if its gonna be an ugly fight the entire time #cant get into the ring and complain about getting hit. or however ryan phrases it #idk if that applies to reclaiming triggers but rahhhhh #if steven can be fine with papyrus after 15 fuckin years i can be fine with pink someday too #lars wouldnt think im stupid. i mean i'd hope not???? maybe he would. its stupid #its a really stupid trigger lol who gets scared of the color pink. me apparently #i get the fight or flight response when seeing a color or clothing or hearing phrases #i dont feel like i can function like a normal person even after a whole year #i feel like i am barely surviving and my entire life was taken away from me #and i cant do anything about it but just sit here with my heart ripped out of my chest #while my abuser is . fine. and has friends and family and support and alllll of my TF F/Os #and absolutely zero consequences for what she maliciously had done to me. okie dokie!!!!!#i feel like the last 19 months havent passed. i feel like i am not in my body sometimes #like i am a husk and someone else is controlling me but im actually dead or something #i dont feel like time is passing. idk how to explain it. i feel like my life is stolen #i feel like i am losing years of my life to trauma. like the ghost of me is left behind while the world is moving forward #everyone is present and moving but i am like... barely functioning thru flashbacks and nightmares and panic attacks #and i dont know when im ever going to fully escape the person who did this to me

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willowser · 1 month

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i have to say that i love yuuji itadori with all my heart and under better circumstances i would be soooooooo incredibly insane for him. but alas.

#number one i am afeared for what gege will do to him i dont TRUST HIM #number two i would genuinely go crazy over him so so crazy i love him with all my whole heart #number three which is sort of like number one but i just cant with jjk anymore like. you know what i mean LOL #✿ shut UP willow #nobody cares but i just have to get this off my chest #please he means so much to me you dont understand and under better circumstances i would write so much for him #i have such a lovely lovely long fic idea for him but #I CAAANTTTTT i dont trust gege #i will be DESTROYED #should anything ELSE happen to him #i have to distsnce myself or i will get hurt LMAOOOOOO #jjk leaks #jjk spoilers #just in case #vibrating over the twin reveal but i must control myself

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o-phreneticum · 20 days

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Another pixel art of Spamton

Updates on IELTS: overall I got a 7.5 out of 9 (got a 9 for reading, very proud of it hehe), and even though my initial reaction was "I'm a fucking failure", apparently (according to my dad), it is a pretty impressive score, given the fact that I wasn't really preparing for the test and instead spent all of my time shaking in fear (very productive indeed). My next task is to apply to the university I've chosen and... well, hope for the best :)

Btw, on the day of the test we had snow in Latvia, very convenient (no it's not, I fucking hate cold weather). But it was very interesting to see flowers covered in frost and snow.

#spamton #spamton g spamton #spamton deltarune #deltarune #my art #digital art #pixel art #aseprite #I was thinking about painting something with oils #but i cant convince myself to start doing anything #im also suspecting i might have adhd and maybe i should get a proper evaluation or smth cuz i dont fucking know #idk what else to say

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skunkes · 3 months

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the way I've been raised has shown itself in a recent awful experience I had and the realization won't leave me because I'm not sure what to do about it.

I don't like feeling anger/upset and it's rare for me to feel it anyway but it's led to me being unable to tell what's worth getting upset over anymore. If my wants upset somebody, then, well, maybe I shouldn't have them? What is so serious that I need it to go completely my way...? What desires am I allowed to have. It's not that serious, it's okay if not, you can't always get what you want....

every time I feel Upset I am later wracked with guilt because it wasn't a big deal and I was just being selfish... What IS a big deal then? How can I tell? Its admittedly never a big deal... But I keep being upset. And stepped on....

#talkys #this is what led to me Staying for as long as i did #there would be issues but if I brought them up i wld then be made to feel guilty for feeling that way #but i cant reverse that bc well!! its true like is it really a big deal? life isnt that serious I dont need to get upset...#i get upset at something my parents do and in the end i feel ungrateful and selfish #i really cant tell anymore which is why i Stayed as mentioned above #in the sense of well yeah the way im being treated doesnt make me feel good but why do i need to feel good?#isnt that selfish...isnt that asking too much...isnt that making yourself out to be Better Than...#i really dont know. i get so ready to give up my position on anything because I dont want to be selfish #and because im no better than anyone else #my mom caused some drama on my birthday wrt my sister's family and it led to me not being able to go to the duck #pond on my birthday... which is the only thing i really wanted to do on an otherwise uneventful day #i was meant to feel shame abt it because well we can always go any other day!!! relax!!!#and it is true....!#we can go any other day why did i get upset? its not that serious...nothing is that serious...i feel so guilty + spoiled + selfish #i just felt humiliated for wanting to go in the first place. and for getting upset that we couldnt go. like a toddler.#*not that i actually get Toddler Level upset...but it always Feels like i did...ykwim #i just dont understand......idk if i can Repair this....

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tired-hellowl · 9 months

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I think part of the reason why helluva boss makes me personally deeply uncomfortably with blitzø as a main character is in partial with the fact that it willingly always portays his alcoholism in positive conjunctions with his employees around him and is never called into question or blame.... like at what point is stolas going to get over some drunk imp bastard that doesn't even consider to ever care about him, when he shouldn't in the first place when the relationship is built upon a throne of literal lies acting like an imp and a royal being together is absolutely disgraceful and classist in one scene and then the next they're just teehee'ing in the field of flowery hell as if these dark themes aren't brought up so passively and never handled....

As a poor queer person who has actively been in the slums with alcoholics around me and consumed most of my past upbringing at some point I turn to just watch something else given that, Blitzø is a low life scummy stalkers imp that doesn't even bother to ever care about anyone else's reasoning or emotions-besides his own and it is proven over and over and over in every. Fucking. Scene. Because he's the 'main character'

Sober up and get over yourself the show isn't about anything else then Brandon Rogers voicing a dicksucking imp because 'haha laugh at the fairy-gay boy who can't even get his own boyfriend'

#anti vivziepop #fucked up #helluva boss critical #anti helluva boss #helluva critical #and ive never watched a brandon rogers video in my life i dont know who he is but i do not respect him or his work #vivziepop could have went with any other voice actor out there #he seems like a diet shane dawson to me sorta thing yknow???? so why would she choose someone like that to animate?#who purposefully always makes fun of drag queers and queer 'personality types' as a whole comedy skit to point and laugh at #at what point are we going to admit that helluva bosses writing is so flawed not because of bad storytelling but because its just a bad sho #it cant even do basic act of three story telling or visually interesting gags or quirks aside from 'pretty characters on screen go aaaa'#go support murder drones or lackadaisy or bigtop burger or ONE #or literally anything else besises vivies shite #anti brandon rogers

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