bart: okay guys rock paper scissors
kon: no we’re not doing that again
tim: what why it’s so easy
cassie: because somehow tim wins every time and we all know he’s cheating
tim: how can you cheat at—
cassie: doesn’t matter we need a new contest
kon: what about who can throw bart the farthest
tim: no
bart: i’m down
tim: i’ll just do it, it’s fine
cassie: wait no it’s not because you give beings like darkseid and klarion coal when no one asked you to and end up causing way bigger problems for us later.
cassie: plus you keep trying to upgrade all of santa’s tech with untested bat stuff. you almost blew up a house last time
kon: well i did it last year so i’m out
bart: last year you insisted on sliding down chimneys for authenticity and got stuck in at least 30 of them
tim: yeah and you purposely scared the shit all the kids who saw you
kon: they looked at me weird first! besides bart just started throwing presents through windows!
cassie: good lord we shouldn’t be in charge of this
bart: well maybe if santa was still here
tim: im not doing this again i swear, we’re all bad at this why don’t we just go together
cassie: remember how that turned out in ‘94? i’m pretty sure we traumatized a whole generation into thinking santa was gonna eat their souls
tim: fair point, what if we—
dick, looking at the santa suit and fake beard lying out, along with suspiciously hoof shaped prints on the carpet: uhhh what’s up kids
cassie: how long have you been standing there
dick: …longer than i think is safe for me
tim: we’re fighting over who gets to go to santacon
bart, unhelpfully: we totally didn’t kill santa
dick:
tim: it’s a super dedicated cosplay?
dick: wait SANTA’S REAL??
tim: …well i mean not anymore
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The difference between the Justice League and the core four is:
The Justice League is horrified that Batman has contingency plans to subdue (and/or kill) them, should they become a threat for any reason
The core four helped Tim brainstorm ways to stop them and wrote it all down in glitter gel pen
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