#crossing enemy lines

[hockeylovee12]

Crossing Enemy Lines

Chapter Two

Luke Hughes x Original Character

Warnings: Cussing

A/N This chapter was updated on 04/11 to replace the photo and then improve the text. The story line remains there's just a few minor adds.

November 11th, 2023

The mid-morning sun filters through the curtains in Luke’s room, casting a gentle glow across his face, as he slowly stirs awake. 

His eyes flutter open and he immediately feels the dull throb of a slight headache. 

With a groan, Luke rolls over and buries his face into the soft pillow. He silently thanks the hockey gods that his coach-even if it was done reluctantly-gave the team the day off, allowing him to nurse his minor hangover in peace. 

Fumbling around on the nightstand, his long fingers finally find his phone. He squints at the screen, taking a moment to adjust to the brightness as he swipes through his notifications. 

A text from his brother Quinn catches his eye: Tough game last night bud. 

Luke sighs, remembering the bitter taste of defeat, his team suffered last night at the hands of their fucking rivals the Rangers. 

He makes a mental note to call Quinn later, and check in on how his game went, knowing the Vancouver Canucks played the reigning cup champs last night, but having no clue how it went. 

The next message is from his mom: Hi sweetie, Dad and I are so excited to see you and Jacky this weekend! How’s everything going? 

A small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, as he types out a response to his mom indicating his excitement to see her too, before hitting send and returning to check the rest of his notifications. 

As he scrolls a text from an unknown number appears on his screen: Hey it’s Jordan. I had a great time tonight, let’s do it again :) 

Luke’s heart skips a beat as he reads through the message, and a flutter of excitement courses through his veins. Memories of the previous night flood his mind-the laughter, the easy conversation and the undeniable spark he felt between him and Jordan. His smile widens as he types out the response: I’d like that. 

Just as he hits the send button, the door to his room swings open and Jack strolls in, uninvited of course-a habit Luke has had to become reacquainted with since joining the Devils, and moving in with Jack. 

“What’s got you smiling so early in the morning?” Jack asks, his voice equal parts teasing and curious. 

Luke quickly locks his phone, trying to play it cool “Don’t worry about it,” he mumbles

But Jack, ever the perceptive older brother, narrows his eyes and in one swift motion snatches the phone from Luke’s grasp, ignoring his younger brother’s protests, as he types in his password. 

“Lets see what we have here” he says, a mischievous glint in his eye as he reads the text from Jordan “Ah is this the girl from last night?” 

Luke swiftly stands up and lunges towards Jack trying to grab his phone, but Jack holds him at arm's length. 

“Fine, yes, now give me back my phone” Luke grumbles, his cheeks flushing with a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance. 

“Not so fast,” Jack grins, his eyes still glued to the screen “You like her, don’t you?” 

Luke hesitates, his mind racing. He likes Jordan, he likes Jordan a lot. There’s something about her-about her laugh, about her smile, about her energy, the way she carries herself. As he ponders for a response, his phone beeps, signaling a new message. 

“She’s asking when you’re free” Jack informs him, his eyes scanning the screen. 

“Today?” Jack says, his fingers flying across the keyboard, to type out the very question he said aloud. 

“Wait. Jack don’t-” Luke tries to warn, but it’s too late. Jack hits send, a triumphant grin on his face. 

Luke finally manages to snatch his phone back, his heart pounding as he stares at the screen. 

Three little dots appear, then disappear, and for a moment Luke forgets how to breathe. 

Then, a white bubble pops up, with a single word that sends his pulse racing: Sure.

Jack leans over Luke’s shoulder, a smirk playing on his lips “You’re welcome” he says his tone equal parts smug and supportive. 

Luke playfully shoves Jack away, a genuine smile spreading across his face “Get out” he laughs, guiding his brother towards the door. 

As the door clicks shut behind Jack, Luke leans against it, his eyes fixated on his phone, as his smile widens. 

He quickly types out a message, asking where they should meet, and Jordan’s response comes almost immediately suggesting a cafe in New York City. 

Luke responds: Sounds good. How’s 1pm? 

Jordan replies: Works for me! I’ll send you the address. See you soon. 

With a grin Luke types out Looking forward to it, and sets his phone down, a flutter of anticipation rises in his chest as he thinks about seeing her again. 

He takes a deep breath, then pushes off the door, making his way to the bathroom, to start getting ready. 

 *****

Luke’s breath forms a cloud in the crisp New York air as he pushes open the door to the quaint cafe nestled on the corner of a bustling street. 

His heart races with anticipation as he scans the room for Jordan. 

He spots her at a table, her face lighting up with a smile, as she waves him over. 

“Hey” Luke greets her sliding into the seat across from her 

“Hi,” Jordan replies, her eyes sparkling. 

They order their drinks- an ice tea for Luke and a matcha latte for Jordan, before easily falling into a conversation.

“Oh before I forget,” Jordan says, reaching into her bag. She pulls out a well-worn paperback and hands it to Luke. “You asked me to recommend something for you and uh this is one of my all time favorites” She explains

Luke smiles, turning the book over in his hand, and looks at the title The Great Gatsby

“Thank you Jordan, that was really kind” Luke expresses 

“Well, you did promise me you’d actually read it” Jordan teases her eyes twinkling with mirth. 

Luke chuckles setting the book down on the table, “I’ll dive into it as soon as I can”

 They continue chatting, swapping stories and laughing at each other's jokes. They delve into various topics from their favorite movies, to their most embarrassing childhood memories.

"...and then I tripped, face-first into the cake," Jordan recounts, laughing at the memory. "My mom was horrified, but my brother couldn't stop laughing."

Luke chuckles, imagining a young Jordan covered in frosting. "Siblings, they never let you live anything down, do they?"

“Definitely not, do you have siblings?” 

“Ya I uh, I got two older brothers” Luke tells 

“Baby of the family?” Jordan teases. 

“Something like that” He jokes

“Don’t worry I’m the baby of mine too” She says, eliciting a laugh from Luke. 

They continue their conversation, shifting the topic to their favorite places. 

At one point their hands brush against one anothers on the table sending a jolt of electricity through both their bodies. Luke looks up, his eyes meeting Jordan’s, and for a moment the rest of the world fades away. 

They lean in, drawn to each other like magnets. Luke’s heart races as he inches closer, his gaze dropping to Jordan’s lips. 

And just as they're on the brink of sharing what would most likely be a magical kiss, the loud buzzing sound of a notification on Luke’s phone startles them both. 

Instinctively, he turns the phone face up, his brightness fully illuminated, and as he clears the random alert, his lock screen comes into view-a picture of him in his New Jersey Devils uniform, standing proudly on the ice. 

Jordan’s eyes widen as she catches a glimpse of the image, and her heart skips a beat. 

Luke notices her reaction and realizes his mistake. 

"Alright, um, I guess you kinda caught me," he admits sheepishly. "I'm not a student. I, uh, I play in the NHL."

Jordan is silent for a moment, processing this newfound information. Luke laughs nervously, trying to lighten the mood. "You know, most girls think it's pretty cool. Did you have a terrible experience with a hockey player or something? Promise not all of us are the same."

Jordan hesitates before speaking. "You play for the Devils?"

"Yeah," Luke confirms, studying her reaction.

"Don't tell me you hate hockey?" He somewhat jokes, hoping to god and beyond her answer isn't yes cus that's the biggest deal breaker in the world. 

Jordan hesitates, her expression unreadable. "No I um, I don't hate. My, uh, my brother plays," she reveals, her voice soft.

Luke's brows furrowed in confusion. "Oh, cool. In the NHL?"

"Yeah," Jordan sighs.

"Who's your brother?" Luke asks, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Jacob Trouba."

Luke's jaw drops, his eyes widening in shock. "Your brother is Jacob Trouba?!" he exclaims, a hint of anger creeping into his voice.

"Guilty," Jordan half-jokes, trying to diffuse the tension.

Luke runs his hands through his hair, muttering under his breath, "What the fuck."

Jordan bristles at his reaction. "Hey, it doesn't really change anything."

"Are you kidding me?" Luke scoffs, his frustration mounting.

"What?" Jordan challenges, her own irritation rising to the surface.

"Your brother is the captain of the Rangers, and I'm a Devil," Luke points out, as if it should be obvious.

Jordan laughs, but there's an edge to it. "So?"

"So? What do you mean, 'so'?" Luke asks incredulously.

"What does it change?" Jordan counters, her eyes narrowing.

"Wh-what? Everything!" Luke sputters. "Why didn't you mention this?"

Jordan's face hardens. "Are you kidding me? I didn't mention my last name because I had no fucking clue you gave a shit about hockey. In case you forgot, you told me you were a college student. Failed to mention you're actually in the fucking NHL."

Luke tries to defend himself. "Yeah, but that's different. I didn't tell you cus I figured you be some kinda fan girl, which by the way would be a hell of a lot better than you being the sister to the captain of my biggest rival" 

Jordan lets out a harsh laugh, "Rival? Oh My God! Are you serious? Do you hear how ridiculous you sound?" 

"It's not ridiculous" Luke claims

Jordan scoffs "You're right it's not ridiculous, it's just fucking comical" She stands abruptly, grabbing her purse "Grow the fuck up, Luke" 

With that, she turns on her heel and storms out of the cafe, leaving Luke sitting there, stunned. 

The copy of The Great Gatsby still lies on the table, a painful reminder of the moment that had slipped away.

With a heavy sigh, Luke stands, tossing a few bills on the table to cover their drinks and picks up the book, scoffing at the irony of it all, as he walks towards the exit of the cafe, and steps back out onto the bustling streets of New York, a scowl plastered across his face, at the unfortunate turn of events. 

 *****

Luke returns to his and Jack’s apartment, his mood sour and his thoughts consumed by the disastrous end to his date with Jordan.

As he enters the living room, he finds Jack sitting on the couch, his phone propped up in front of him. The familiar voice of Quinn filters through the speaker, indicating that they're in the middle of a FaceTime call.

Jack looks up, a smirk playing on his lips. "Hey, Lukey! How'd the date go?"

"Shut up," Luke grumbles, plopping down on the couch beside Jack.

Quinn's voice chimes in, concern evident in his tone. "What's wrong, Luke?"

Luke sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Just didn't go well," he says vaguely, not wanting to delve into the details.

Jack and Quinn exchange a glance through the screen, their brotherly instincts kicking in. "Come on, man," Jack prods gently. "Talk to us."

Luke shakes his head, his gaze fixed on the floor. "It's not gonna work out, that's all."

"Why not?" Quinn asks, his brow furrowed.

"Just... not going to," Luke responds, his tone indicating that he doesn't want to discuss it further.

Jack and Quinn sense Luke's reluctance and decide not to push the matter. "Alright, bud," Quinn says, his voice sympathetic. "I'm sorry, but maybe things will still work out?"

"Not gonna happen" Luke mumbles, anger creeping into his voice. 

Jack leans back on the couch, trying to lighten the mood. "It's probably for the best, come on, man. You don't gotta be hung up on some random girl when we're trying to win a Cup."

Luke nods, forcing a small smile. "Yeah." He stands up, stretching his arms above his head. "I'm gonna go lay down for a bit."

"Okay," Jack says, understanding in his eyes. "We'll be here if you need us."

Luke makes his way to his room, and decides to take a shower, hoping the hot water will help clear his head.

As the steam fills the bathroom, Luke's internal monologue takes over. He knows he doesn't need to be in a relationship, but the idea of having someone by his side isn't entirely unappealing.

His thoughts drift to his past relationships, or lack thereof. It seems like everyone around him has someone - Quinn with his girlfriend, Jack with his rotating roster of dates. But for Luke, finding a genuine connection has always been a struggle.

The last real relationship he had was back at Michigan, and even that ended in heartbreak when he discovered the girl was only using him for his family name. But now, with Jordan, he thought he'd finally found something real, something special and the fucking irony that for once it wasn’t his last name that ruined something, it’s stupid, it’s fucking stupid. 

As he steps out of the shower and changes into comfortable clothes, Luke can't shake the feeling of loneliness that settles in his chest. He lies in bed, scrolling aimlessly through his phone, trying to distract himself from the ache in his heart. 

It doesn’t work, he tosses his phone to the side, staring at the paperback book he threw on his nightstand. 

Suddenly, his phone buzzes with a notification. For a brief, hopeful moment, he thinks it might be Jordan, reaching out to apologize or explain. But instead, it's a message in the Devils' group chat,

Reminder practice tomorrow 9 AM. 

Luke groans, his disappointment palpable as he tosses his phone onto the nightstand and buries his head in his pillow.

A/N Part 3 coming soon

#luke hughes #nj devils #jack hughes #hughes brothers #quinn hughes #original story #crossing enemy lines #jacob trouba #ny rangers #rivalry

[jeru-skyrider]

writing game

Rules: Make a new post and post your latest line from your WIP and tag as many people as there are words. game found courtesy of @ahrva

Knil never would've guessed what kind of journey he'd just begun, but even though it always seemed to be by accident… he was glad he'd become a hero.

~Accidental Hero c.4 sneak peek

@eyalianna-blog @silvermistanimelover @bokettochild @ovegakart @cerame @telemna-hyelle @lady-astria @meru-chanowo @whoever wants in on this, I don't know a lot of people on tumblr

#linked universe #lu wild #Crossing Enemy Lines #writing games of tumblr

[mishapen-dear]

oh im gonna be SO annoying about bbh in a minute. i keep saying the same thing over and over again but his character is too fucking complex motherfucker is like:

"i'm a demon who is 11,000 years old and i refuse to acknowledge that im a demon nor that i do bad things (like steal furniture) but i will help people every chance i get despite saying im going to stop doing that and i am going to devote my life to protecting these fragile little eggs even though i know im going to lose them one day because i love them too much (and i know i can do that and it will one day be okay, because i have an immortal diamond to keep me company even if he isn't here now). when my friend throws himself beneath the spokewheel of the federation i will be there, bitter about my loss, but i will not start a revolution until he proves he deserves one. i will do what i can to safeguard his system against corruption because i am afraid the federation will use him to hurt us. i know he doesn't want to hurt us. he keeps hurting me. he is isolated by our distrust in him and he is still working hard to try to be a good person in an inherently corrupt system that cannot be fixed so i will build him a statue. i will not kill him when he takes a picture of me in the presidential chair (that was almost mine) and puts it on his wall and calls me 'employee of the month.' i didn't do all of that work for the federation i did it for him like i do it for others because they are my friends. i will exhaust every option i have to build a reason to NOT start a revolution. to not kill him. because i have to say that i tried. i feel like i have made so many compromises. i have held myself back to try to find reason. i will still remove his access to my base. when the island turns against me and he locks me in a cage for a crime i did not commit, i will remove everyone's access (except for my family the french and my family the eggs). i am having fun. when the eggs appear the next day with cracks and dirty shells i will worry, but i know they're strong. they'll be okay. (when i find my son's secret lab and his unethical experiments that cause him harm i will be proud because he has done what i do. he has helped. i want him to be safe but we are never safe and i trust him more than anyone else. i know now, and i can help him be safe.) when the eggs go missing i will be silent. i will look for them, and i will destroy for them, and i will bargain for them, and i will cry for them, and i will not accept their loss. when my friend who is president who once built a safehouse that saved my eggs' lives is finally damaged by the federation (like i knew he would be when he became president) and he starts to hurt people by pushing the same treatment onto them i will not be surprised. i will be surprised when he tries to marry me. i will not blame him (much) when he tries to kill me. our children are missing. he is forced to pretend that his is not. i wish i could too. i will not tell him yes or no because i need an open avenue to manipulate him (because to save him i will have to manipulate him). i will not marry him because he is out of his mind. i have said marriage is overrated. i have also said that i want to live with him in a house with our kids and my skeppy. when he tells me that he wants to be happy with me i will still say 'aw' because it is the most genuine thing he has said to me and i miss my friend. i will still try to kill him. i fail to kill him with someone else's plan. i don't place a block to lock him in place. i hesitate. it doesn't matter if it's on purpose because the next plan works. i will reveal an item that could destroy me to my closest allies (and tubbo) because it will let us save him. we save him. when he kills himself 18 times over i back away from the explosion in surprise and then step close again. while i have grieved i have thrown myself into mines. it doesn't matter. i am numb and want to feel something. everything has lost colour. we save him.

i visit federation workers and ask them about my eggs and they do not tell me anything. i know they are lying. i visit the graveyard to talk to my lost eggs. i have lost all of the eggs. i do not know how to save them. i lay in the mud. it rains and rain signifies the monster has returned to kill my children but my children are not here and so i do not care. when i go home i will become so angry and i will go down to my basement (which i have locked like my friend locked the entrance to his greatest fantasy. we are so alike and our delusions are different. he child was real; here is the secret to finding my children) where i have locked a federation worker away. i will not wash away the blood stains.

i am also part-time grim reaper and i only ever dress up in robes to make people drink more water."

#this was supposed to be a quick summary of his character. help. #this is a quick warning about the other bigger post i am writing about him and how his Whole Deal and World View is and why he's being so #soft with forever despite the Nightmare Horrors #to put it more simply: he's built different #qsmp #bbh #q badboyhalo #qsmp character analysis #<- more like qsmp character 'here is everything about this character but hang on there's even More' #HELLPPPPP IM IN THE TRENCHESSSS #did you know there's a 4096 character limit on a block of text. guess how i found that out #but everything is SO IMPORTANT to how he reacts to everything else #he holds grudges like nobody's business but he's also a hypocrite and plays favourites #he's stubborn and Chooses enemies and friends and there are always lines to cross but he understands context #and the forever thing has the context of bad looking at him and going 'i know what you're feeling. i know why you're doing this.' #'i know i would be worse'

[communistkenobi]

if you use the word degenerate/degeneracy you should not call yourself a socialist or even a progressive, this is not negotiable, you have not done the basic work required of you to use such a label

#that word is a nexus point of the reactionary worldview and if you feel comfortable using it I legitimately think you are suspect #there’s a lot of words that are like eh whatever dependent on context/forgivable but degenerate is crossing a massive line. either you need #to think long and hard about how you conceptualise your political enemies or you need to leave #genuinely hysterical to use fascism and degeneracy right next to each other and not see an issue with this

[craycraybluejay]

yeah yeah you hate me I'm an evil disgusting perverted manwhore we have each other blocked everywhere blah blah but I know you still jerk off to me and I know it makes you hate yourself a bit because you don't have the strength to accept the darker parts of your desire. but you can't help yourself and I take pleasure in the knowledge.

#this pussy makes homosexual men hate themselves !! #this tdick makes you want to kill yourself !! #this wretched and desirous personality has captivated you so !! #pussy change your life like im god~ they always fall in love not my fault~ #im never pickin up when they call~ #<- song lyrics #you want to fuck me so bad it makes you act stupid !! #im genuinely not mad people are generally going to end up hating themselves too much to be chill #but i am having a wild laugh bc this mf who told me i'm a gross freak also told me that he has sex dreams about me regularly #like yeah ok faggot #watch this loser text me in like a year apologizing for being a judgy little bitch begging me to respond LMFAO #thank u next hoe !! #idk its extra liberating to not only decide to be more choosy but also to know they obsessed #how's the vanilla boyfriend taste? can he get you off 7 times in a row? does he make you feel free and hedonistic? #anyway yeah im just being mean here bc its a mood boost i would not say this shit to anyone lmao #trust me bro i am literally the last person to cross the line when i get emotional (usually excited sometimes angry or horny) #ok no im a little prone to excitedly infodumping for 8 hrs but i try not to offend people #making enemies for no reason is a terrible idea

[leecario]

CUZ I AM UN-DE-FEAT-A-BLE

#mega lucario #lucario #pokemon #sonic #super sonic #drawings #IM HANGING ON TO THE OTHER SIDE #I WONT GIVE UP TIL THE END OF ME #IM WHAT YOU GET WHEN THE STARS ALIGN #NOW FACE IT YOURE JUST AN ENEMY #OOO #WHOAAAA #YOURE CROSSING THE LINE #NOW WEVE RUN OUT OF TIME #ILL TAKE WHAT IS MIIIIIIIIINE

[rhapsodyred-writes]

Across Enemy Lines - Chapter 5

You're filled with Determination™.

Splash art made by the wonderful bonesofvaldis

#undertale multiverse #utmv #cross sans #cross x reader #undertale reader insert #reader insert #undertale fanfiction #cross!sans #undertale au #red announces #across enemy lines #red writes fanfic #collab writing

[tennessoui]

me thinking about what couples counseling question i want to have them answer at the end of this chapter that shows their deeply fucked up relationship hehe

#couples counseling au #obikin #couples counseling questionnaire: has your partner ever crossed a boundary of yours? how did that make you feel? #these unhealthy idiots: what's a boundary. #space google: oh like a line in the sand #obikin: oh! ok. once he crossed an enemy's line to pick up my half dead body and haul me to safety that made me feel all warm and good #is that anything #couples counselor reading these answers: oh my god we were genuinely saved by the most codependent stupidest fucks in the whole galaxy

[betasuppe]

When they say: "I want to kiss you" with the same fire & vitriol as if they were saying: "I want to kill you♡"

#i live in that divide #of wanting a villain's love #who's only ever known hate #& crossing that thin line from enemies to love #like #hot damn #am i predictable as fuck or what?

[self-spaghettification]

they/themavos real

#the dragon prince #lgbt #aaravos #i know tumblr hates chat ai but personally i enjoy it it amuses me #im also going into computer science so like #u can view me as The Enemy if you want ig #but #idk personally i feel yeah #publishing ai writing for a profit anywhere is totally wrong #and underpaying/overworking workers #but being a little silly and goofy with the chat bots #without feeding it anyone else’s writing #that’s coolio #yk basically there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed #it’s like any sort of technological advancement. it can be used for good but also to cause harm in the wrong hands. arcane tv series moment #but you can’t deny the advance it doesn’t rlly care if you do or not lmao #unsolicited rant yk but here u go #self spaghettification #😘 #original post #tag rant #it’s a tool. like anything else #it’s good not to become too reliant on it though #its a tool with a lot of possibility :) #i do have some of that guilt going into cs like am i selling my soul to the devil?…. i mean maybe #but also automating things is nice. making advancements is nice #so yk. ultimately i think it’s best to be a well rounded person with both scientific and humanitarian intent in mind #and im open about basically every facet of myself good or bad lol

[melaclintbartoncorner]

Seeing people already planning their fan fictions and thirst trap edits of Sebastian Stan as Trump has me like:

#sebastian stan #stop making edits about problematic characters #it not the time to stan trump #trump is a criminal #enough is enough #y’all need to stop #the line has already been crossed #trump is the enemy of the people

[hockeylovee12]

Crossing Enemy Lines

Table of Contents

Luke Hughes x Original Characters

Summary: When Luke Hughes got drafted by the New Jersey Devils he knew he was entering one of the most intense rivalries in professional hockey. But what he didn't bargain for was falling in love with a Rangers player's sister during his first year in the show. Or Luke Hughes meets the right girl with the wrong last name.

Also: The dates for this story have been changed to better fit my timeline, the rest of the content remains the same. I do want to note in terms of my timeline I’m trying to follow the 2023-2024 Devils schedule but that’s kinda hard so there will be changes to their schedule, for this story. I may update chapters to either improve the image or add more detail but the storyline will remain the same as the way I originally posted it.

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

#luke hughes #nj devils #original story #jack hughes #hughes brothers #quinn hughes #jacob trouba #ny rangers #rivalry #falling in love #crossing enemy lines

[jeru-skyrider]

Listening to Magic

In another dimension, another time, another world, Link might have ignored the pleading tug on his Kokiri magic, in favor of finishing the battle quickly.

In this dimension, in this timeline, in this world... he heeded it.

or: the one where Time befriends his Dark.

Change of Fate - Chapter 2 - Jeru_Skyrider

#linked universe #lu time #skyrider snips #ocarina of time #majoras mask #war of eras #lu warriors #crossing enemy lines

[katyspersonal]

Hey guys.. Thank you for the kind words. I am just not feeling like talking yet, I am mostly just spending time alone.

It is hard to explain how one thing leads to another thing and how things that are troubling me are conjoined, but I just feel like I don't have a place as a human being. I am caught in the loop of escaping people that hate whites / males / heteros / etc by proxy and soon enough the freedom and reason I've been after ends at dead end, me meeting people that instead hate blacks / women / LGBTs / etc. No matter what I do, no matter where I go it is always fucking something. It is always hatred to a demographic of people by proxy, people just can't comprehend the idea of hating the bad and harmful instead of this stupid disparity between "good" demographics and "bad". When it is not dumb American college esque "systematic/historical oppression" flex - it is a sob story about various bad events caused within confrontation to the group. EVERY demographics has people that will willfully weaponize belonging to it against others. EVERY single ONE. Every race, every gender, every culture, every sexuality will have pricks. When it is not """systematic""" privilege - it is victim's privilege.

And I am tired too. I question whether the freedom and reason I am looking for even exists. Maybe it is normal for humans to blame the ones who are not like them as a 'covenant' instead of looking up into something that can occur everywhere, and I just have no place in society. I feel like blasphemy is becoming the same entity as religion: there is always that guy that claims they know how things "really" work, that everyone who disagrees is against the "truth" itself. And I am tired. I am tired of running from one kind of control freaks and ending up with the other, after having a hunch of hope. I am tired of always, always, always being pressured into being an ideological soldier. When it is not 'you should let others walk all over you because you are white and cis' - it is 'you should stand against them with us as a woman and a bi'. And there is always control freakery, pressure and hatred for not agreeing 100%. When I am not called a disgusting bigot - I am called another woke brainwashed feminist (sometimes also with 'child murdering psychopath' for supporting abortion rights).

I am feeling ideologically homeless, because apparently 'for reason and against idiocy' is not an ideology. I choose my own sources of information and do what I can to keep drastically different people around so I am always forced to question or reaffirm what I already think, but HOW do I always end close with people with whom being honest is hated and punished? When it is not a public social abuse from cancel culture simps - it is private emotional abuse behind closed doors by friends.

And in the end? I am still the dumbest person in this equation. It is all my fault. I've failed to nurture enough self-confidence to be independent without the need of any approval, and so I am blaming who exactly? The entire human society for how it works? I feel like I am more like Djur4. He is not against the hunt altogether (he tells the hunter to go kill beasts outside), but he personally quit it and protects the beasts that CAN'T harm anyone, he has only like 3 true friends (funny enough, I also have 3 people that truly accept me as who I am without any contempt and conditions), but he has quite the mood swings and used to be fearsome (and well, I used to be aggressive kind of feminist anti something something years ago). But I am yet to become really like him, because he is confident living on his own with what works for him. (Heh. Would've been funny to switch M3nsis on Powder K3gs, considering he still resides extremely close to M3nsis base.)

In the end, what I am really looking for is the dreaded unattainable trait of "not letting someone's insults get to me", but even this is hard because if I never listen to them, how will I know when I am ACTUALLY being a dumbass? Is anyone really qualified to unmistakeably distinguish between "they insult me because they can't control me" and "they insult me because I really fucked up"? I've endured a lot of abuse from either "side" under delusion that they could not insult me without a logical reason... But what if they do not understand logic to begin with? Or what if their logic is rigid and stuck in certain dogmas, that can't adapt and evolve? And what if they don't know the "truth" but just fucking hate women, even if some of their observations and reasoning could be useful? In the end, no one can know my intentions better than me, but if I never listen - how WILL I connect with other people? Yet I did not connect just to be condemned for not being antagonistic "enough", or for constantly listening trash about women and their rights and being told that I am in "denial about FAAAAAACTS uwu" when I disagree. In the end, chaos is just another form of order, only its order is being antagonistic to the previous one.

And if I can't become whatever the secret third thing is... it is better to exclude myself from this life altogether.

#personal #existencial crisis #i just need to think #i deadass have no place and i dont fit into any 'covenant' #because 'being reasonable' is not a covenant #no matter how reasonable anyone sounds? #they eventually fall into 'i am right and if you do not 100% agree you are just another enemy' #but i always miss when they cross the line and just take their hate for demographic on me

[gunsatthaphan]

I think at this point it is like 99.9% certain Winny and Satang are gonna get a series together next year I could see them get a show similar to Dangerous Romance which is pretty similar to Sound and WIn anyway

Agreed!!!

They have the enemies to lovers dynamic down for sure so all they need is a good script + director. Let’s manifest 🙏🏻✨

xxx

#satangwinny #gmmtv #the world needs it it’s me I’m the world #the only issue with the enemies to lovers trope is that there’s a fine line to the bro territory and I don’t want them to cross that #that’s my fear with dangerous romance too #so let’s hope that won’t be the case

[hardlypartying]

“i’m not the bad guy you think i am”

“i got a boat that can get us off the island… we gotta get out of here, it’s better if we work together”

“they’re going to find john b and your sister” “sucks for them, that’s good for us tho”

“i told you we just had to work together”

“i can give you a ride out, drop you wherever, somewhere safe”

“i know your friends and my sister are on the island, i’m not helping them, i can’t trust them okay… i’ll give you a ride out but not them”

“i mean i always liked you kie, you’re at least half kook”

+

“i just lose control in moments like that, i’m trying to get better” kiara nodding along and her small “okay” as he explains himself

and her “oh god” and teary eyes when he starts slapping himself

HOW is this canon we were fed a full course meal 😭

okay anon you did it-- this delicious assortment of canon dialogue is the straw that broke the camel's back bc now i've got a new fic in the works directly based off of the line “i can give you a ride out, drop you wherever, somewhere safe”

or, the one where sarah was right and ward/rafe are the ones after them and rafe accidentally kidnaps kiara instead of sarah and uses her as extortion >:)

#and also the “im not the bad guy you think i am” line..... did i not have that in chap 3 of bad habit?? #bc i remember writing something like that bc of the darkling and felt rafe was angsty enough to say some shit like that #feeling so happy with canon rn #living life loving life <3 #anyway for the new fic (no ETA at all rn) it'd be kiara being taken back to Guadeloupe #and forced proximity (the greatest trope ever imo) where she's trying to get away but there's literally no way to and rafe is all #"???? wtf are u tryin to do ur safe here??? #and kiara is very much Not for that and is always like “they're gonna come for me” #and he's an absolute dick and is very much “hm sure how sweet” #ANYWAY #it'd be a morally grey kiara which i'm gonna need to roll up my sleeves to do but the way i'm seeing it its totally possible #absolute carnage of them getting involved in some dark ass underbelly of illegal markets for the cross #i need to figure out how long it's gonna be first and work with that #reluctant allies ultimately #enemies with benefits #asks #riara