#dad and mom start fighting when i get back and it’s so fucking frustrating

[lilgynt]

anyway yesterday i had this huge break down like sobbing screaming throwing my self on the floor the whole 9 yards and it sounds like outtakes from the midsummer scene and any guess what started it. my dad asked me to buy rotisserie chicken

#personal #obviously lots of context but super funny #especially bc when i was throwing myself around i got a HUGE fucking bruise on my thigh #anyway my weekend was not good. personally #on thursday i went to like 4 stores and was looking for coffee (dad didn’t remember the name) and rotisserie chicken for my dad and his #dog. which i know bad but you have not tried having and elderly blind somewhat lost his mind or mostly it man as ur father for most ur life #you learn to just go with it #and during all of this i’m getting nothing but assholes on the road #like in the morning when i got breakfast for dad and i some lady cussed me out when i wouldn’t reverse into a drive through #and then after the first store some guy nearly hit me backing out of a parking space bc he was going super fast and turned around JUST to #flip me off. and i’m already annoyed bc i didn’t even want to run this errand for a fucking dog but it’s my dad so i keep going #so hit 3 more stores ask my dad if he remembers the coffee name (he requested i call him at the store) he did but it’s too expensive #(i offer to get it firmly but he’s freaking out) i leave and then my mom calls me and gets annoyed at me for not buying it anyway #go to the next store. the shit my dad just told me is to expensive is like 6 bucks more here and it’s too busy to go back to the other some #and i’m so upset but it’s only sale so small win. didn’t find the chicken anywhere #dad and mom start fighting when i get back and it’s so fucking frustrating #anyway that took over 2 hours and was very upsetting then the next day my dad is like #can you go back again 🥺 and i do but not before that huge break down #which during i was like did not know it upset me that much. but anyway ends with me getting locked in my room bc my dad #is coming over to give me batteries not even checking on or hearing the yelling and im naked and im so fucking upset that i don’t even have #a door anymore and it’s middle/high school again and i’m makes and crying and i don’t have a door and everyone’s allowed to come in whenever #naked and crying #bc it doesn’t matter wrre family and im so angry and i lock myself in start slamming on the door and my dads like what can i do and he can’t #see then i just rip the broken door knob from the door in sheer anger and then i spend the next two hours sobbing while looking for chicken #for my dad. did not find it btw. like some time looking for chicken some getting gas then food #so funny i texted my mom during it and she thought i was going to our usual store and texted me things she needed #and i only realized while inside the store i was actually in and started silently sobbing and hyperventilating bc my mom wanted me to go to #another store and she just promised this wouldn’t happen again and there’s no fucking chicken here #anyway i’ve been camping my room bc i don’t want to talk to my dad im not mad at him or anything but i just can’t do the last couple days #and my mom was really nice yesterday about it after hearing me sob and didn’t even give me shit when i said im staying hometoday l8r maybe?

[mielgf]

being the eldest daughter really is just how do i shield my sibling from everything bad in the world and also how do i gentle parent my own parents

#being home makes me realise how much i had to self teach emotional regulation and communication skills #i am truly the glue holding this family together no one talks to each other just immediate defensiveness and yelling and being mean #like i truly just sit here in shock listening to my sister and my parents interact with one another and how easily fights break out #little by little i’m starting to feel like a guest in this home again despite this being the place i grew up in #family tw #parents tw #going back to the city tomorrow and I’m sad leaving again but i’m also like. #this environment is so bad for me mentally and emotionally #and i try and fix it but i’ll never be able to bc no one else wants to put in the effort to fix it #so i need to just stop trying to hold everyone together bc my parents are grown fucking adults #my sister is my baby so she’s a lil different but seriously this is too much #why is mom yelling at my dad before he even shows any sign of frustration/anger… #not that THAT is even an excuse to start yelling but like she’ll get mad at him for being mad when he’s NOT even mad?? #please make this make sense bc rn i cannot comprehend it #everyone please get therapy!! god #talk time

[letstrip13]

✈️ - mile high

reader x matt

summary: when you and matt can't wait to get off a long flight home, you end up joining the mile high club

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, use of "baby," public sex, kind of getting caught

word count: 1,033

author's note: i've already posted my masterlist and about me by the time this is out. i don't think i'll have much time to write this week because i'll be busy with school but i have lots of fics coming up eventually

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it had been a long week for you and the triplets, especially for you and matt. you went home to boston with them and you got to meet your boyfriend's parents for the first time. it went even better than you had expected, you guys had gotten along really well. but there was just one thing. during your stay, they had a clear “no sex in the house” rule, which was understandable. but the thing that bothered you most about it was the fact that you and matt couldn't sleep in the same room. of course you weren't going to put up a fight with his mom and dad about this since you were a guest in their house, so you just slept alone.

you were able to spend time with matt but you rarely got a moment alone. if you did, it was very short-lived. with so many people in the house, you two couldn't find time for yourselves. by the end of the trip, you were both extremely sexually frustrated.

now, you're on a flight back home. all four of you in the same row; matt in the aisle seat, you beside him, nick next to you, and chris in the window seat, snoring lightly with his head on nick's shoulder. you'd already been on for a couple of hours and you would be for a couple more.

this whole time, matt had been really touchy, constantly rubbing your thighs or holding your hand or placing light kisses on the exposed skin of your neck and shoulders. you hadn't reacted too much, just giving his hand a squeeze or occasionally kissing him on the cheek. you knew that if you did, things could easily escalate. you'd both been waiting to get home and rip each other's clothes off for a while now. you just had to hold out for a few more hours.

you soon grow bored of the movie you were watching and you give matt the same sort of lingering touches he was giving you. your hand starts on his thigh and subtly inches upwards until you can feel the bulge tenting his sweatpants. he squirms in his seat and you can hear his breathing getting heavier. you make sure nick isn't paying attention to you two, luckily he's clueless as to what's going on. you turn your attention back to matt and you tease him by rubbing him through the fabric. he bites his bottom lip to stifle any noises as he grabs your wrist to stop you. he leans in close and whispers in your ear, “i can't wait until we get home. meet me in the bathroom.” without waiting for you to respond, he gets up and walks in the direction of the bathrooms.

you watch him go into one, shutting the door behind him. you quickly follow him, leaving his oblivious brothers behind. you barely have time to lock the door before matt picks you up and sits you on the counter, giving you a heated passionate kiss. you two are immediately lost in the moment, pulling at each other's hair and moaning into the kiss. “i missed this,” you whisper against his lips. “me too,” he whispers back.

“i need to taste you, baby.” he tugs your pants down while you help him by lifting your hips. he pulls your panties down just as fast and crouches down quickly, burying his face in your pussy and eating you out like a starved man. he doesn't waste any time, licking all your most sensitive spots. “fuck, matt-” you moan. he pauses and looks up at you. “shhh, i need you to stay quiet for me. can you do that?” you nod and he goes back to what he doing.

after about a minute, he stands up and tugs his sweatpants and boxers down just enough to free his hard cock. “i'm sorry, baby. i can't wait anymore.” “it's okay, i can't either. i need you inside me. it's been too long.” he enters you without hesitation and captures your lips in a heated, messy kiss to keep you both quiet.

he doesn't give you any time to adjust to his size after the week-long break from this, his thrusts immediately getting quick and sloppy. he reaches down and starts rubbing your clit to bring you closer to the edge. his kisses swallow your moans and vice versa.

since tensions were so high between you, it doesn't take long to finish together, your walls clenching around his cock as he's shooting his release inside you. he whispers in your ear, “i'm sorry i finished so fast, baby. i'll do it better when we get home.” “it's okay,” you whisper back, “you still did good.” you press a quick kiss to his lips before he pulls out. he cleans you both up with some paper towels then pulls his boxers and sweatpants back up. you get off the counter, fixing your own clothes.

he gives you one more kiss before exiting the bathroom, you following about thirty seconds behind him to not seem so suspicious. you both return to your seats and nick gives you a weird look. “where were you guys?” “bathroom.” “taking a walk,” you answer in unison. “okaaay..” he goes back to his movie.

suddenly a man's voice comes over the speakers, making an announcement, “hello, passengers. just a reminder, the bathrooms are only meant for one person at a time, and we strongly advise you to follow the flight rules,” you and matt look at each other, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. “but congratulations to the couple who joined the mile high club.”

nick puts two and two together, realizing that you and matt are the couple. “ewww! you guys really couldn't wait until we got home?” matt chuckles and shakes his head. chris wakes up and rubs his eyes. “what happened?” “these weirdos fucked in the bathroom.” you hit his arm lightly. "nick-” “what? everyone knows already. you two weren’t subtle about it either.” you bury your face in matt's shoulder out of embarrassment and you both do your best to block out his brothers’ teasing for the rest of the flight.

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#matt x reader #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo fluff #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo oneshot

[lumi-nescentt]

I'd Run Away And Hide With You

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Reader

Warnings: mention of Jos Verstappen, a bit of swearing

Words: 1.5k

Summary: Your boyfriend is determined and passionate, you love that about him. But when things get tough, his father's voice is a little too present in his head so you're here to remind him of who he really is.

A/N: I was watching the last season of Gilmore Girls and after seeing Logan and his Dad argue, I thought I could write something similar with Max, enjoy :)

This race weekend had started pretty well as usual. Max was doing great and had qualified first, Lando had invited you and your older brother to watch the race from the McLaren garage since he knew your brother was a big fan, everything hinted that the weekend would be great. Max’ family was here so you being at McLaren was actually a good thing even though Max wished he could have had his good luck kiss. 

However, from the moment the rain had started falling, you could tell something was going to go wrong. Spa was a pretty dangerous circuit with this weather and most of the drivers slowed down a little to be safer, the memory of the accidents still too fresh in everyone’s mind. 

Max and Checo had been battling all race for the lead because of a slow pit stop that had fucked your boyfriend’s advance. You could tell Max was fuming from his radio message just like everyone else but you also knew that when Max got like that, he wouldn’t stop until he had pushed too far.

Your brother could tell how stressed you were because of how Max was driving so he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to him. While every driver was driving at a reasonable pace, conserving the speed but driving more carefully, Max was pushing harder than ever to pull away from Checo. 

Inter tyres were definitely not meant to be pushed as far as Max was doing and you stopped breathing a few times as he went wide at a few turns, brushing the walls with his front wing. GP was trying to convince him to slow down and settle for the 2 seconds gap he had but Max’ mind was set on doing better, 2 seconds wasn’t far enough from Checo. Not when most of his mom’s side of the family was in his garage watching him. 

After a few more laps of arguing between GP and the Dutch driver while Max pushed as hard as ever without being able to really pull away, you heard Christian’s voice on the radio ordering Max to stop his little tantrum and listen to his engineer, shutting him up for a second before letting out a groan of anger as he finally lifted his feet from the throttle.

The whole message had been broadcasted and you couldn’t escape the comments about Max from reaching your ears. It was always the same thing, your boyfriend had too big of an ego and didn’t know when to back off, he was selfish and relentless. He was always a villain, someone who ruined the fans’ excitement, never a talented driver with a steel strong determination. 

If the comments didn’t seem to touch Max on the outside, you knew him, the real him. Jos was hard on him but Max was harder on himself behind closed doors. He said the comments didn’t matter as long as he was winning but deep down you knew Max wished he could have it all: the wins and the fans’ love. 

Even though he’d never admit it out loud, the Dutchman wasn’t as tough as he tried to appear. You had seen him shed silent tears out of frustration after he got called hideous names again for just being good at his job. You knew the comments from today would hurt him and that he would probably be harsher on himself than usual. 

The end of the race was even worse, Max’ tyres were done for but pitting would have gotten him out of the points so he was forced to stay out as he tried to wrestle the car through the sharp and quick turns of Spa. With so little grip, Checo was quick to overtake him even though Max didn’t go out without a fight. 

His determination had come back to bite him quickly because George had used the opportunity to get closer to the Red Bulls and he was right behind Max’ rear wing for a few laps. On the last lap, George finally overtook the Dutchman as your boyfriend cursed harshly, not realising that his message was broadcasted. 

The podium finish should have been a good thing but Max was brooding as soon as he took off his helmet. Nico Rosberg tried to wrestle more than a two word answer out of him during the podium interview but without success. Max was pissed and everyone could see it. 

As soon as you were sure he’d be done with his media duties, you excused yourself from your brother and sneaked off to the Red Bull garage, hoping to arrive there before Max lashed out.

You quickly climbed the stairs to his driver room, offering a sympathetic smile to his PR officer who was in an animated conversation with Christian before knocking on the door. Not hearing an answer, you got inside slowly not knowing what to expect.

Max was sitting on his couch, eyes closed, fists clenched and headphones glued to his head as you recognised some rock song he listened to when he wanted to forget about everything. He didn’t even flinch as you sat down next to him, only removing one side of his headphones so you could put your head closer to him.

-" I'm proud of you Max." you whispered with your head on Max' shoulder

-" Don't lie to me, please." he answered, removing his headphones completely but still not looking at you

-" When have I ever lied to you ? And why would I even lie, darling ?"

-" I don't know but if you're really proud of me then the bar is pretty fucking low because I was shit out there and you know it. My dad knows it, I know it, my whole family knows it and every single person with eyes saw it." Max muttered standing up abruptly

-" You know being first isn't always what matters most, right ? I'm proud of you because you did your best to hold on. Yes, it didn't go the way we wanted but what happened is done and that doesn't change how I feel about you. Everybody makes mistakes, Max. What matters is how you deal with it afterwards."

-"I can't deal with your pity, stop." he grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose

-" I'm not pitying you Max, it's called being supportive and being here for the people you love."

-" I don't need your support now, it won't change what happened !" Max lashed out, immediately regretting his words when he saw the flash of hurt on your face 

-“ I don’t care if you want or need it. Like it or not, I’m your girlfriend and I love you so I won’t let you beat yourself up over one mistake you made.” you snapped back, Max’ face softening at your words

-"Listen love, I know you're trying to cheer me up and everything but I really don't have the energy for it right now."

-" Max come on, I'm not asking you to go out and celebrate with everyone. I just want you to come back to the hotel with me and have a quiet night in instead of working all night and torturing yourself over something you can't change"

-" y/n, stop. I don't want to fight so please can we not talk about this because my dad is probably gonna be here any second and I don't want to argue with you and him on the same night."

-" Darling we're not arguing. If you don't want to talk about it, fine but can you at least let me stay with you ? I don't want you to be alone."

-" I'm not sure, schatje. My dad will definitely be in a sour mood and you being here while he calls me a failure again isn't really something I want happening."

-" Max, look at me." you say, gently raising his chin with your hand when he doesn't comply " You're not a failure, never been one and never will be. You making a mistake doesn't take away from all the great things you've accomplished, alright ? I know racing is your whole life but the Max I know out of racing is pretty great with or without formula 1 and he's far from being a failure."

-" Thank you, love. I'm sorry for raising my voice at you earlier, I know you're trying to help. I just can't get my dad’s voice out of my head sometimes and I guess I don't want him to end up lashing out on you too if you stay."

-" Don't worry about earlier, I know that wasn't really you. You're not your dad, Max, you're so much better than he ever will be. Let him come at me for all I care, I won't let him say a single mean word about you or me."

-" You're cute when you get protective, you know ? Come here." Max says opening is arms for you

-" I was going for intimidating but I'll work on that before I see your dad again." you smiled, placing a kiss on Max' cheek

-" Do you still want to get out of here ?"

-" With you ? Always."

-" Let's go then, we have a movie night waiting for us, schatje."

#max verstappen x reader #max verstappen #f1 imagine #f1 #formula 1 #formula one x reader #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fandom #f1 scenario #f1 x you #f1 x female reader #f1 x y/n

[ohbabydollie]

Mutual Breakup HC

Female reader gets a call from the school about her son being involved in a fight with another student

Schlatt follows her and they both learned that their son was being bullied for not having a dad because his parents aren't married

You walk into the office, schlatt and your son sitting at a table. across was a woman and her son, you recognized him as being on the same baseball team as your son, he looked as he always did. except with a busted lip and black eye, hair messy and shirt stretched at the collar.

you sit down next to your son, whispering “what the hell did you do now?”

before your son can speak the woman starts screaming “He beat the shit out of my poor son over here! GOD YOU WALK IN ALL INNOCENT, I BET YOU TAUGHT HIM THAT CRAP!”

she stands up and before she can continue the principal tells her to calm down

“look, ma’am, understand you’re frustrated but that doesn’t mean you can scream at other parents” he says calmly as she sits back down

“they’re lucky we don’t get the police involved. i need your son to apologize to my poor, innocent baby boy and we can all drop this” she demands as the kid has a shit eating grin on his face

“fuck no” schlatt says crossing his arms “my son doesn’t have to apologize for shit, suspend him, do whatever, but he’s not fuckin’ apologizing”

“jay! what are you doing!” you ask him “im so sorry, matt, apologize to the boy please” you say turning to your son before schlatt shakes his head no

“we’re not apologizin’ he can spend however long at my place but we. ain’t. sorry.” he says

“im not sorry n i never will be” your son replies, schlatt giving a confirming nod

you let out a groan

“look, we’ve been at this for well over an hour” the principal says rubbing his temples “we got two options, both parties apologize and they get back to class or 3 day suspension”

“we’ll take the suspension” “Schlatt! matty, please just apologize to the kid” you say turning to the woman

“look, im really sorry, normally my son doesn’t act out like th-” “it’s probably your slutty behavior teaching him like this!” she says as your mouth opens in shock

“excuse me?!” you say getting up

“oh what like everyone doesn’t know already? you and your, whatever the fuck he is,” she says gesturing to schlatt “weren’t together and haven’t been together his entire life. no wonder he’s acting out so bad, he’s upset for being cursed with a whore as a mom”

you suck your teeth before standing up “what happens in our home is no one’s business besides our own and you can forget about that apology! c’mon matty, we’re going for ice cream” you say standing up, grabbing your purse “we’ll take the suspension, it won’t matter when her kid is living at home in his 30’s”

your son quickly gets up, as you walk out and schlatt takes a quick candy off the bowl on the table as he walks out with a grin.

“meet us at the ice cream place down the street, i’m taking matt” you say walking to your car as schlatt nods.

“matt, what did you do?” you groan once you’re in the car “the pta moms are iffy about me already and once they find out my son beat up some kid? fuckkkk” you say rubbing your face

“im sorry mom” he says softly “it’s-” “just, please, can you save it so we can talk with your dad?” you ask as he nods

“im really sorry mom” he says looking up at you as you exhale and sit up

“you know what? you’re already suspended, it’s all in the past and it doesn’t matter anymore, it’s okay” you say starting up the car and driving off to the ice cream place, trailing after schlatt’s car.

once all of you arrive and are happily eating your ice cream that’s when you speak up “so, what even started the fight?”

you see your son’s mood change from what was calm to pissed off before he lets out a sigh “he was making funna me” he says upset “he called you a whore and i remember dad saying if they ever say anything bad about your mom, let them make sure they know you’re her son” he admits as you look to schlatt

“are you serious? why would you tell him to fight kids for me?” you ask

“mom, this isn’t the first time” matt says as you look to him “they make fun of me ‘cause the two of you aren’t together anymore and this was the first time they called you a name and-and i wasn’t gonna let them!” he says angrily

you look to schlatt as he nods in affirmation, “they make fun of him and say that i probably ran off to get milk and other shit”

you look to your son in sadness and shock “r-really?” you ask, he nods and that’s all you need as you start tearing up “i-i’m so sorry baby” you say hugging him

“you don’t gotta apologize ma” he says as you press a kiss to his forehead

“no, i honestly, im sorry honey” you say softly “i almost made you apologize to that asshole kid! how about we go out today for dinner?” you ask, matt nods

“can dad come?”

“of course honey” you say happily as the three of you finish your ice cream “we’ll do it in reverse, dessert first and dinner last”

the day goes by, then somehow schlatt ends up back at your apartment, carrying matt up to bed before coming back down to you.

“you okay sweetheart?” he asks as you snap out of your thoughts and look at him

“yeah, yeah” you say walking over to him “you think we’ve played this little game long enough?” you question, running your fingers through his hair

“what game?”

“the lets pretend like me and my ex aren’t still in love, like we don’t still want each other and we haven’t wanted each other in years” you say softly “i think im tired of it”

“i am too” he admits, wrapping an arm around your waist

“let’s get married then” you say leaning into his touch “legally, we can move in together and stuff, matt can have his family together without going from house to house”

“that would be nice” schlatt whispers softly as you grin

“okay big guy, let’s get married” you say smiling

schlatt bends down to kiss you “god, ya don’t know how long i’ve been waitin’ to hear those words” he lets out a chuckle “i guess we also did this in reverse”

i feel like they’d get married before she gets pregnant tbh, but do everything privately and wouldn’t publicly announce anything until y/n is very visibly pregnant

#schlatt x reader #jschlatt x reader #jschlatt x you #jschlatt x y/n #schlatt x y/n #schlatt x you #jschlatt fluff #schlatt fluff #jschlatt headcanons #jschlatt hcs #mbu!jschlatt

[ghost-with-a-teacup]

hi!! i have a platonic req for miguel x chaotic teen reader who has a bad relationship with her dad, just a man who lost his daughter and a girl who never had a proper father.. what could go wrong..(im a slut for found family)

𝐓𝐨 𝐁𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐚 𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x Platonic!Reader

Summary: After a really bad fight with your father, you escape to HQ, the one place you can find solace. To take your mind off things, you go on a mission with Miguel, but it seems you're a little too in your head.

Warnings: Arguments, swearing, and violence in the beginning so be cautious.

A/N: Finally back with some good ol' hurt/comfort, and found family :3

✧✧✧✧✧

“I’m sick and tired of having the same argument with you over and over again!” you say, the anger rising in your veins as your frustration bubbles over. You blink harshly as you try to force the angry tears down, your father seething angrily in front of you.

“Ever since Mom died, you’ve been unbearable. I’m an adult, you can’t control my life anymore pretending like it's love when I know damn well you don’t give a flying fuck about me,” you say, pointing an angry finger at him.

“WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO,” he shouts, stomping over and grasping your hair harshly as you let out a yelp.

“I give you a roof to live under, food to eat. I raised you, I am your father, and you think you can back talk me you brat?” he spits in your face, and your recoil in disgust.

It was always like this. He justified giving you the bare minimum as being a father, when the house you lived in was never really a home. Not after your Mom died, when everything fell apart.

When you became your world’s Spiderman.

“You were a spectator in my life, you were never truly my father,” you whisper harshly as his grip tightens on your hair. His eyes narrow at yours before he throws you to the ground harshly.

“Get out,” he says.

“W-what?” you ask, your body radiating with pain from the impact.

“GET OUT!” he shouts, leaning over you menacingly. “You think you’re so grown, then get the fuck out of my house because I am sick and tired of you. You don’t think I’m your father? Then I won’t be. You’re lucky your whore of a mother wanted to keep you around because in my eyes you were always my one worst mistake,” he says, and his words hit you like a freight train.

You knew he never loved you. Even before your Mom died he never truly seemed to like you around, only tolerated you because of how much your Mom adored you.

When she died, the substance abuse began. You practically raised yourself and learned how cold the world truly was. You never knew the love of your father, but even still, it hurt to hear him say what you always understood deep down.

“Fine,” you say softly, standing up and opening a portal to HQ. His eyes widen as he watches, but you don’t even give a damn anymore if he sees.

You were never going to see him again anyway.

In an instant, you were gone.

~

You emerge on the other side, right into the lobby of the Spider Society. A few familiar faces recognize you, waving in greeting. You wave back with a smile that doesn’t quite meet your eyes.

“Hey Lyla?” you call out, and she appears hovering over your shoulder with a grin.

“What’s poppin', buttercup?” she says cheerfully, and the corner of your mouth quirks up a bit.

“I was just wondering if Miguel was around,” you say, and she reappears in front of your face.

“He was actually about to leave for a mission, want me to tell him to wait up?” she asks, and you nod.

“That would be great, thanks,” you say, letting out a soft sigh of relief.

“Already done, you know where to find him,” she says, before throwing up a peace sign and disappearing.

Miguel was…you didn’t exactly know what to call him. A mentor? A friend? Guardian maybe?

All you knew was that (despite a rocky start), he was one of the few people across the multiverse that you truly trusted. He was harsh at times, rough around the edges and gruff…but he was like a light you’ve never known.

You both had your baggage, and you have both lost a lot in your lives, but maybe that’s why it worked. Whatever it was.

“Miguel?” you call out, looking around the monitoring room. He wasn’t on his usual platform which was odd. All of a sudden you get that familiar tingle on the back of your neck, and you whip around.

“HOLY GODS,” you exclaim as you see him hovering in the shadows like a wraith ready to leap out for the attack. “What are you doing?!”

He only chuckles at your expense, walking out with an amused grin on his face.

“Just making sure your reflexes are working properly,” he states simply.

“By giving me a heart attack in the process?” you say with an exaggerated frown, and he snorts.

“Don’t be dramatic, besides, you make stupid faces when you get scared,” he says, and you gasp offendedly.

“Well, you always look stupid so beat that,” you retort, and his hand grasps his chest dramatically.

“How could you? After everything we’ve been through, you think I look stupid?” he says, and you can’t help the breathy laughter that escapes. But before long the smile is replaced by a frown.

You could never really hide your emotions around him, he could always read you too well.

“You alright, kiddo?” he asks. He tried to mask his concern, but his eyes never lied.

“Never better!” you say, your tone overly sarcastic. Miguel eyes you with an expression that says ‘That’s a load of shit’, but you just brush him off with a nervous chuckle.

“You were about to go on a mission right? Can I come along? Cool, great, awesome,” you say, not even waiting for his reply. You press a button on the back of your neck that replaces your clothes with your Spider Suit and turn to look at him expectantly.

“Let’s just pack this guy up, in and out right?” you say, and he sighs.

“Fine, you can come along,” he relents, opening up a portal.

“You do realize I was going to come along either way, right?” you say, and he shakes his head knowingly.

“I know, you have the stubbornness of a bull but it helps me feel at least somewhat like the leader of the Society if I get the final say,” he says, his voice almost small which makes you laugh out loud.

“There, there,” you say, patting his shoulder as the two of your approach the portal together. “Everyone around here respects your authority,” you say with a grin before your mask covers your face.

“Except you,” he scoffs.

“Except me,” you say in turn.

~

“So what’s the deal with this anomaly?” you ask as the two of you emerge on the other side, not wanting to go in completely blind if you didn’t have to. You were reckless, but you weren’t completely stupid.

“Came in through a tear from Earth-848710. Has the power to manipulate metal to his advantage. At the height of his powers he has the ability to control even the iron in our blood so watch out,” he instructs.

“Ooh, freaky. What, like blood bending in Avatar: The Last Airbender?” you ask, and a confused expression washes over Miguel’s face which makes you giggle a bit.

“Like what?”

“Oh Miguel, don’t worry, we’ll binge watch it later, just you wait,” you reply before the back of your neck tingles, and you sling a web up onto the ceiling, yanking you up off the ground.

Just in time, because in the place that you once were stood a beam of metal impaled into the ground.

“Holy shit!” you yelp, and Miguel is swinging right up beside you.

“That’s our cue then. On your toes, spiderling,” he says, and you grin. You don’t exactly remember when he started saying that phrase to you, but it was standard procedure before every fight for him to say it now.

“You got it, old man,” you snicker, and he rolls his eyes before swinging away, allowing you to analyze the villain down below.

His pillars were optimal at a range, so close combat was likely your best bet at beating the guy.

“You gonna hang up there all day, little thing? C’mon, give me a real fight,” the villain calls up to you tauntingly, and you scoff. Of course, he was going to be annoying, just what you needed.

“I’m just trying to find the quickest way to take your annoying ass down and believe me, it will happen,” you retort, swinging down before levelling him with a kick into his gut before he could react. He groans out in pain as you see Miguel send out his webbing from the corner of your eye.

But the villain seemed to notice it as well, using a shard of metal to slice it away before it could reach him.

“You think it’d be that easy, I’ve spent my whole life fighting so-called ‘heroes’ like you,” he scoffs.

“All that says to me is that you’re old,” you snicker, and he scoffs before sending a beam of metal toward you again. You leap out of the way just in time, but the villain picks up the pace.

Ear-scrapingly loud screeches of metal can be heard from all around as he pulls support beam after support beam out of the building to throw at you and Miguel.

“Where’s all that confidence from earlier, little hero?” he calls out toward you. “I thought you were going to take me down, yet here I stand. Maybe you’re weaker than you thought,” he laughs, and you narrow your eyes in annoyance.

You know you shouldn’t lead with your emotions, it was a recipe for disaster in a job like this but you couldn’t help it.

“Enough of this-” you seethe before you’re interrupted.

“THE BUILDING IS FALLING APART,” you hear Miguel shout, and it was true. With each support beam that the villain ripped from the frame, the more unstable the place became. You had to get this guy packed up and pronto, before you all were crushed.

“I’m tired of your games, anomaly,” you huff, levelling him with a glare.

“Why so serious? Your parents never hug you enough as a kid?” the villain says mockingly. You knew it was only to get a rise out of you, every comment of his was, but with your emotions already on high, you immediately saw red.

Everything you had bottled up and shoved down bubbled over like lava, and you lunged for the villain with a snarl.

You threw punch after punch as he cried out in pain, unable to do anything with your webs trapping him in place.

That’s when you feel webs that weren’t your own wrapping around your shoulders, yanking you off of the villain. You yank at the bonds, desperately trying to escape the fluorescent red webbing.

“Let me go, let me go! Let me finish him, Miguel,” you cry out, but he ignores you for a moment.

He shoves the villain through the newly opened portal without a second thought, knowing Jess would handle it on the other side before turning back to you.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey!” he says as he grabs your shoulders, holding you in place as he retracts the webbing. You wriggle around in his grasp, chest heaving with each breath as tears brim over in your eyes. He looks at you with concern, just scanning over you to make sure you were alright before truly looking at you. It made you feel small as you struggled to hold back your sobs.

His eyes only softened, clicking your mask off before brushing his hand gently over your hair, and it only made you want to cry even more.

“C’mere kid,” he says, pulling you into a hug. You exhale shakily before hugging him back tightly, the tears you had been holding back all day finally falling down.

He was so warm…his arms embracing you gently in the way your real father never could.

You stood there in his arms for a few minutes, sobbing into his chest while he just held you gently. After a little while your sobs subsided, replaced with the occasional sniffle before you pull away, looking off to the side sheepishly.

“Do you want to tell me what’s really bothering you now, mi tesoro,” he asks gently, not wanting to push you to say something you didn’t want to.

You only sigh softly, glancing back only to see the worry in his eyes before relenting.

“I don’t have a good relationship with my father…you know this,” you smile sadly, and he only nods, waiting for you to continue.

“We got into a really bad argument before I came here, and well, I don’t really have a father anymore. He kicked me out,” you sniffle. “And I know it shouldn’t bother me as much as it does, because he never cared for me like a parent should but it still hurts Miguel,” you say, your eyes tearing up again. He smiles sadly at you, brushing away a tear gently.

“I’m sorry, mi ángel,” he says, not really knowing what else to say. “But don't blame yourself for feeling what you feel. You can't help it, and besides, losing all that you knew, even if it hurt you is still difficult," he says, and you nod knowing that what he said was true. It wasn't easy to accept though, so you don't say anything in response.

"...You do know you always have a home here, don’t you?” he says, and you laugh softly to yourself, not really knowing why.

“I do?” you ask, and he chuckles fondly.

“Always,” he says before his eyes grow distant for a moment. “…I lost Gabriella a long time ago, I never really recovered from that loss…I don’t think I ever will. But I do believe that the universe sent me you in turn. You won’t ever be her, I know that. But you don’t have to be, because I care for you like a child of my own regardless. You know that, don’t you?” he says, the genuineness of his words evident.

“Thank you,” you whisper, hugging him tightly once more. “I have never felt more safe in my life than when I’m with you," you admit.

He only smiles, and for a moment you think you can see the glimmer of tears in his red eyes but figured it must have been a trick of the light.

“Let’s head back to HQ, kiddo. We can figure out some place for you to stay, alright?” he says, and you nod before pausing for a moment.

“Could I…stay with you?” you ask hesitantly, and his eyes widen for a moment.

“If that’s what you’d like, it can be arranged,” he says before laughing softly. “My house has always been too big for just one person anyway.” Immediately your expression brightens as you skip toward the open portal, a large grin on your face.

“I would like that very much.”

✧✧✧✧✧

A/N: Good gods it has literally been almost 2 weeks since I last posted. I'm so sorry, life has been kicking my ass but I'm back!! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading <33

Taglist: @beiroviski, @scaraza, @blueoorchid, @remuslupinwifee, @local-mr-frog, @johfaam0, @rawegggohan, @honeycriess, @alexenoirex, @chimpkinnuggies, @rqdior, @banana—belle, @notasadgirlipromise, @6billionyearsold, @gods-perfectidiot, @ieatmunson, @honeii-puff, @wh0re4zaynmalik, @toplinehyunjin, @ohworm-writes, @ishii03, @snowywhiterose, @leftcupcakedefendor

#miguel o'hara #miguel o hara #miguel o’hara x reader #atsv miguel #miguel spiderman #miguel x reader #spider man 2099 #spiderman 2099 #spiderman #miguel spiderverse #spiderman 2099 x reader #miguel o'hara x platonic!reader

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

we're in love - m. murdock

a/n: hi guys not dead just played a LOT of baldurs gate over break and now im back ay college with matt murdock brainrot this ones been floating around the old noggin a while. sorry. likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated! <3 warnings: DEAD DOVE with a happy ending, hard of hearing reader, cannon typical marvel violence, probably badly written violence, matt being upset, once again im tired and sleepy and bad at doing warnings, reader gets kidnapped TWICE, reader has superpowers, reader is TECHNICALLY a hybrid but literally just in the way that she has small antlers and deer like abilities (strength, jump height), fucked up experiments, ANGST ANGST ANGST, memory loss trope but like... the one from the hunger games. matt is hopelessly in love with reader, reader wants to kill matt, kissing, implied sexual ideas, cursing. SHAMELESS USE OF REAL OR NOT REAL FROM THG, reader having anxiety, and allusions of sex. word count: 7.1k summary: when your past finally catches up to you, matt truly learns what 'in sickness and in health' means. pairing: matt murdock x hoh!wife!reader now playing: we're in love - boygenius "will you still love me if it turns out I'm insane?/i know what you'll say/but it helps to hear you say it anyway."

Falling in love with Matt Murdock was the easy part.

Falling back in love with him was the tough bit.

You had spent the years leading up to meeting him as a boxer turned vigilante— Your dad had taught you how to fight young, which led to a lot of trouble at school until he eventually started helping you enter teenage fights against your mom’s wishes.

It’s how you paid for college.

And then, after your college experience, you lose control. It was never supposed to happen the way it did. You had lost a fight and stole the guy’s motorcycle in defiance. But the roads were wet from an early snow and people of New York never knew how to drive.

Just like that, the nerves in your hands were shot. The accident got your hearing too since you got sick from the cold after your accident. The infection got so bad that it took the hearing from your left ear—And half from your right.

For months, you thought you’d never gain control of your hands again, snapping from a promising young fighter to a deaf and shaky temp. You were miserable. Fighting was your everything for so long.

And then The Doctor found you.

No, not the alien from the British television show, but a man who promised you your old life back. He found you while you were at your lowest and realized that you would do anything for your old life back.

He said in exchange for your old life, all you would have to do would be a test subject for a harmless new drug he was testing out.

You were so enamored by the idea of your old life that you had decided to take him up on his offer, so you were whisked away upstate with a group of other people desperate enough to try this experiment out.

Every morning you were given a shot of blue liquid into your arm, and then, you were to preform a series of tasks to record your progress. After three weeks you grew frustrated that you had seen no progress. You spent most of your time asking people to talk into your right ear and becoming mad at The Doctor.

About a month in, you started growing antlers.

At first, you freaked out. Like, truly, screamed and yelled, wanting an explanation. The Doctor celebrated, telling you this was great news—And to prove it, he had you pick up a pen and write a sentence out. Your hands didn’t shake and did everything you told them to do.

On top of the antlers and the newfound control of your nerves, you were strong—Fast, too. You could jump twelve-foot walls. The Doctor was obsessed with you. While other patients died off from whatever drugs you were being given, you were thriving.

At the end of your three-month stay, you were excited to leave and head back to your life. You’d just have to wear beanies everywhere to hide your antlers, you told yourself. A small price to pay.

But The Doctor wouldn’t let you leave.

How could he, he asked you, when you were his best test subject?

Being a prisoner was a lot worse than you thought it would be. Day in and day out, you were trained to be a soldier, you think. Fighting various guards, doing different athletic tests. The serum hadn’t fixed your hearing, but it had given you all of these gifts.

Until The Doctor became cruel.

He gave the guards these batons that had shock currents at the end of them, instructing them to use it whenever you talked back or underperformed. For months you struggled through days of electric shocks and experiments.

One night, a guard slipped into your cell, expecting you to be an easy target. You quickly showed him differently, knocking him out and stealing his weapons. And then, you ran. You ran until your feet bled—No shoes.

An old woman who had retired upstate welcomed you into her small cabin and fed you, never asking about the small antlers growing out of your head. She simply gave you a warm knit cap and a pair of boots for the cold.

You remember eating chili with her as she told you about her deceased husband. You changed your last name to theirs, knowing The Doctor would find you if you kept going by your name. You stayed with her for a weekend, coming back from gathering firewood to The Doctor’s men there, having killed the kind old woman and on the hunt for you. You stole her car and never looked back.

The next few weeks after that had been full of killing various soldiers and armies that The Doctor had sent after you, until you eventually pushed The Doctor off a building, believing to have killed him for good.

And that was that.

You went on with your life as usual, finding a permanent job as a secretary. In a law office.

Which, of course, is where you met Matt.

With Matt, you never felt the need to hide who you were. Of course, it was a lot easier to tell him that some mad scientist had infected you with a drug that turned you into a deer hybrid when he told you that he was Daredevil.

And with time, some of the effects of the serum began to fizzle out. Strength, Agility, Antlers—Those stayed. The control over your hands didn’t. But you made peace with that. Physical Therapy twice a week and hearing aids helped.

Especially because early Sunday mornings were filled with Matt running his fingers through your hair, running his pointer finger along the curves of your antlers. He takes your hands and kisses your fingertips as they shake, hushing you softly when you start crying as he does.

He spars with you and spends nights running around New York City with you, jumping from rooftop to rooftop.

He tells you about Elektra, Stick, his dad, and Fisk.

One day, when you feel safe enough, wrapped up in his arms and a layer of blankets as snow falls against the windows, you tell him about The Doctor.  You explain to him your nightmares, and why they will never go away.

He kisses away your tears and promises he’ll never let anything happen to you.

When he asks you to marry him, you don’t hesitate to say yes. There’s not a moment where you regret that decision. You insist to get married in the summer, during the short month where your antlers shed before they grow back. He agrees happily, just wanting you to be happy.

You’ve been married for about five months when you start to think about kids. You’ve been married six when you realize the worst possible scenario is your reality—When vials of blue serum show up at your front door with a note scribbled out—

‘My Best Test Subject,

I cannot wait to catch up with you soon.

-The Doctor’

You call Matt in a panic, begging him to come home and be with you. He obliges and holds you as you calm down. He promised to love you in sickness and in health, and that is what he fully intends to do.

This is the story of the greatest challenge that your marriage would face.

• • •

After the note you had received, you almost exclusively traveled with Matt. Even for just a casual stroll, a walk to the deli or home from work, He was there with you. He knew you could handle yourself, but you felt safer with him close by.

But Matt’s senses were never as focused when it rained, especially on nights like today. The rain pours, it almost stings against his skin. And it’s loud. You don’t have your hearing aids in, so they catch you both by surprise.

It all happens too fast—

In an instant, Matt is being pulled off your arm and slammed against the closest brick alley, and when he hears the click of a gun behind him, he realizes what’s happening. He tries to fight, but before he can make any process, someone is swinging that gun against his head, and when he wakes up, he’s all alone.

He calls out to you and gets no response other than thunder rumbling from miles away. He is filled with nothing but a rage, a determination to find you.

He scrambles for his phone and uses it to call Karen.

“I need you to get Frank.” He tells her, “Please. I.. I don’t know what happened, but.. He took her, I need.. Karen, I need to find her.” He tells her.

Frank is on his way to New York within the hour.

• • •

When you wake up, your arms are strapped behind your back in some sort of metal contraption. You can feel the ache in your hands, indicating that you had fought against whoever brought you here. The room is quiet. A small cot in one corner, but the rest of the room is barren.

You’re wearing white pants and a gray muscle tee, with no shoes. You’re suddenly thankful you left your wedding ring at home, so that it might not end up in his hands.

You wait a while, and then the door opens. The Doctor, flanked by two men in heavy armor, holding those batons you’re all too acquainted with, steps into the room. You simply stare, but The Doctor looks like a child on Christmas morning.

But there’s something else to his appearance. His left eye is this bright yellow, and his pupil is a different shape. Green scales travel up his neck and coat the bottom right half of his face, and down his arms, reaching his fingertips. He looks like a monster, but you quickly realize what has happened.

Whatever serum gave you your abilities, was given to him. Only, his was made from that of snakes, not deer.

“My beautiful creation!” He gasps and takes your face in his hand, planting a kiss to your head, right between your antlers. “It’s been too long, you know.” His ‘s’ sounds are elongated, and his teeth are sharper. He has become destroyed by his own mad endeavors. When you don’t respond to his greeting, he continues to speak. “It’s been an eventful few years for you, huh?” When this doesn’t get a response from you, he stands up straight and backs up just a foot. “New job, new name… New husband.” Your head snaps up at that. “What? You think I haven’t been keeping tabs on you and the boy? What do you call him, then? Matthew or Daredevil?”

Your eyes grow wide, unsure how he knows about your husband’s secret hobby.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” You spit, your gaze hardening into a glare.

“Don’t I? You make quite the couple. The little deaf doe and her crime fighting blind husband.” He laughs, “And they say I like a project.”

“You won’t touch him or I swear to god—”

“Little doe, you misunderstand. I want nothing to do with your husband. I just want you to be the good subject I know you can be.” He tells you. “You and I are the only of our kind. I want to study you, replicate you.”

“You’re going to kidnap more people.”

“You weren’t kidnapped, you volunteered.”

“I won’t do whatever it is you want me to do.” You tell him. “I don’t care, I will escape, I will kill you.”

He shakes his head, taking one of the batons from the guards, before hitting you across the face with it. You groan in pain, turning your head back to glare at him. He sighs.

“I didn’t want to have to do this. But I did anticipate that Husband of yours interrupting things.” He hands the baton back to the guard before telling him. “Take her down the hall and get her ready, alright?”

You struggle your way down the hall, refusing to do whatever is coming to you without a fight. When the guards uncuff you to strap you to this big dentist looking chair, you manage to get out of the grasp of the guard, swinging a punch on him but this newfound advantage is short lived, as the other guard quickly grabs your arms and pushes you against the chair. You’re yelling and thrashing but they manage to get your arms and legs strapped down to the chair.

Your heartbeat is racing, and quietly, only in your mind, you beg. But not for mercy. Not from The Doctor. You beg Matt to come find you. Because you know that you do not stand a chance on your own, but maybe he could find you. He had to find you.

The Doctor sits in a chair next to you and holds up a small purple vial.

“This is hallucinogenic snake venom, mixed with a duller version of the serum we gave you. What this will do is allow me to go into your memories and alter them.” He explains as if you’re getting a simple procedure done. Tears fill your eyes.

“You’re going to make me forget him?” You ask, your voice breaking.

The Doctor hushes you softly, wiping your tears softly.

“Oh, no, little doe. I’m going to change what you do remember about him to make you hate him.”

• • •

Six months is a long time to be without your wife. For anyone, no matter who it is.

For Matt Murdock, it’s absolute torture. He spends all day half paying attention to his work while trying to research who The Doctor is. He spends all night trying to find you.

Frank lives, breathes, eats and sleeps to find you. He’s still technically a wanted man, so he pretty much stays under the radar as he looks for you. You remind him of a lot of guys he knew in the army, of himself.

Karen busies herself with research, looking through cases of old files at The Bulletin to try and see if there are any tips or stories that could maybe be connected to where you are. She gets about as little sleep as Matt.

And Foggy has the most important job of all.

Making sure Matt doesn’t kill himself in the process of trying to find you. Because for the first two months Matt didn’t sleep, hardly ate. And as he deteriorated, Foggy reminded him that to find you, he’d need to stay alive. He needs to shower, he needs to keep going to church, he needs to keep eating. The thought of hearing your heartbeat again keeps him going.

It’s as they’re packing up to go home one night that Frank comes into the office with blood-stained hands. They all know he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t have something, so Karen asks first.

“What? What is it?”

“Buddy of mine found a file. Some private medicinal corporation funding a project for some sort of doctor doing cancer research, upstate.”

The location peaks Matt’s interest, because one of the few things he knows of your first experience is that the lab was in upstate New York.

“Okay, but—” Karen starts, but Frank hands her the file.

“Report shows the guy had scales.” He told her. “And I don’t know what you guys make of that but sounds to me like a side effect similar to the serum that was given to her.”

“Where?” Matt asks.

“Red, just—”

“Give me a god damn address, Frank.” He demands.

“I’ll drive you. Come on, things are probably gonna get wild and I don’t want you going alone.” He told him. Matt agrees, but only because he knows he can’t drive and would wind up walking to you.

“Then let’s go.” Before Frank can argue, Matt is walking out the door and going to get suited up for the journey ahead.

• • •

Daredevil is my enemy.

Matt Murdock hates me.

I hate him.

We were never really in love with each other.

These are the thoughts that echo through your mind as you wait for your next round of testing. The six-month mark is pivotal, The Doctor tells you time and time again.

Overall, you’ve made tremendous progress. He tells you that within weeks, other serums will be ready to test on new subjects. Maybe then, he tells you, he’ll promote you from just being a soldier.

Maybe.

You almost don’t hear the alarm going off somewhere in the distance. Of course, you don’t. The serum has never helped your hearing.

The way you remember it, Daredevil, a man who once claimed to love you, fought you to the point that he destroyed the nerves in your hands, destroyed your hearing. It’s fuzzy now, but you know this: The Doctor helped you. He put you back together.

But you do hear the alarm, eventually. It concerns you; it means someone has broken into the building. Your thoughts linger on the masked vigilante that haunts your nightmare. You’re getting stronger to defeat him, The Doctor says.

It’s a cool summer night when whoever it is broke in, breaks down your door. You immediately stand, quickly identifying Frank Castle, a grin breaking across your face. Closely behind, you identify a man in red.

Your heartbeat races, but you just stare at the pair.

Matt strips off his helmet and approaches you, wanting to make sure this was real. That you were real. His hands find your cheeks, and tears fill his eyes. He says your name gently.

“I found you, I’ve got you…”

You blink, unsure of what sort of cruel teasing that was.

Because in an instant, your glare hardens and you’re pushing him against a wall, starting to throw punches at him. He’s too far in shock to react, but Frank is pulling you off of him, and you’re struggling against him.

“Let me go! I need to kill him! He’s evil, he needs to die!” You cry, and Matt is just saying your name softly, in absolute disarray. What had they done to you, his sweet girl?

Frank pins you down to the ground, unsure of why you, a woman he had perceived to be so in love with the man behind him, are so adamant that he dies.

“Enough, Enough!” He barks, grabbing your chin and forcing you to look at Matt. “That is your husband, girl. Stop acting like he’s torturing you when he is not the one whose been experimenting on you for six months!”

“Let me go, I need him gone! He’s cruel, He’s a monster!” You cry, and Matt has started crying. Putting you both out of your misery, Frank hits you in a way that knocks you right out. Matt goes over to your now unconscious form and pets your hair.

“Why was she—”

“I don’t know.. I just don’t know, red. Let’s get her out of here to figure it out, okay?” Matt just nods and grabs his helmet, slipping it on so Frank can’t see him crying anymore.

• • •

If you had a nickel for every time you woke up tied to a chair, you’d have more nickels than you had fingers.

Today is no different.

You’re surrounded by people you don’t recognize. And one you do. Your angry glare stays on him, and he looks upset by it.

You’re unsure why. You’re so sure he just wanted you dead.

The blonde woman in front of you says your name softly. When your gaze shifts to her, you notice her soft eyes.

“How do you know my name?” You ask.

She frowns.

“It—Because we’re good friends.”

“I don’t know you.”

“You don’t… My name is Karen.” She says softly. She goes over to a nearby shelf, pulling out a picture frame and showing it to you. “Here, that’s you and me. At your wedding.”

“My wedding? The one that he set up just to hurt me?”

Matt remembers you telling him that you had never been happier than when you were getting ready for your wedding.

There’s two other men, one held you down while you were meant to kill Matt, but the other one.. You vaguely remember him standing next to Matt when you got married.

He speaks next.

“Matt and Frank, they found these vials in one of the labs. We think the man that took you used it to... to alter your memories.”

“Why would The Doctor do that? He helped me.” You tell them, unsure what to make of this whole situation. Matt is growing extremely frustrated because he knows just how scared you were of that monster.

“Untie her.” Matt tells Frank, and everyone looks at him like he’s crazy. Including you because you know that you’ll just try and kill him. “Do it,” he tells him again and very hesitantly, Frank does untie you. When you’re free from the rope, you step forward to go towards Matt, but Frank grabs your arm.

“Don’t,” he says. But then, Matt reaches for Frank’s gun on the nearby table and hands it to you. Odd choice for a man you want to kill.

“Go ahead.” He tells you, facing you now. “Shoot me, kill me if that’s what you really want to do.” He says. You stare at the gun in your hand for a second, before holding it properly and aiming it at Matt. Everyone waits with bated breath to see what you’ll do.

Pull the trigger, you tell yourself, The Doctor’s voice echoing around your head. He hurt you, the voice says. He needs to die.

And yet, you just stare at the man on the other end of the gun, trying to build up the courage to kill him. To kill the man that for months you have been taught needs to die. That you have memories of hurting you, of maiming you.

Your hand tremors as tears fill your eyes, until you eventually drop your arm, so the gun isn’t pointing at him anymore.

“Look at the photo of you and Karen,” Matt tells you, “You have hearing aids in the photo. I didn’t do that to you, you got into a bad accident, you got sick and that’s how you lost your hearing. I had nothing to do with that. You even had your powers before me, you didn’t just get them in the past six months. The Doctor is an evil man who just wanted to torture people and turn them into science experiments.” He tells you, and you want to tell him to stop, that it’s not true. But something in you tells you not to. “I love you,” he says gently, and you flinch away from him when he says this.

It breaks his heart into a million pieces. Absolutely shatters it.

“I don’t know you.” You tell him.

Sensing that Matt doesn’t know what to say to that, Frank steps forward.

“Hey. I’m Frank, you remember me?”

“You pinned me down when you found me.” He sighs softly.

“Yeah, well.. You have memories of when the two of you got married, right? So those are real memories… What about the ones of him hurting you? Do they look any different?”

You take a moment to close your eyes and really focus on the memory you have so closely attached to the man in red. They’re.. Filmy. Like they have a filter on them or like glass shimmering in the sun.

Tears fall from your eyes as you open them, your hand quickly coming up to wipe your tears.

“I think we did enough for now.. She needs to rest.” The man whose name you don’t know, but he has this shaggy blonde hair. Then this question comes up in everyone’s mind—Where will you stay?

“I’ll take the couch,” Matt says, “You take the bed.” You don’t know how comfortable you are with being alone with Matt in this apartment, even if the memories are fake. They feel pretty real.

“I don’t know if—” Karen starts.

“I.. It’s fine..” you say softly, and that fills Matt with a fraction of hope. “It’s just over night.”

Frank sighs softly, taking his gun off the table and glancing at Matt.

“We’re only a phone call away, alright?” Karen tells him.

It feels sort of awkward that they only talk to him as if you can’t hear them. Well, you can’t hear them very well, but you can hear.

“There’s clothes for you in the bedroom,” Matt tells you, “Go take a shower and I’ll walk them to the door.” Very reluctant to turn your back on Matt, you make your way to the bedroom to gather your clothes and go to shower.

You really haven’t had a good shower in six months, so it’s nice to wash the dirt off your skin and from beneath your fingernails. You spend a long time under the hot shower, letting it burn your skin. Your whole life has been turned upside down because you’re slowly coming to terms with the fact that Matt Murdock isn’t your sworn enemy, and that maybe.. he just.. does like you..

Meanwhile, Matt walks the others out, or at least to the door, hesitant to go too far from you.

Foggy glances back to him before he leaves, curiously.

“How did you know she wouldn’t shoot you?”

He hesitates.

“I didn’t.” he says softly. “I just trusted that somewhere within her, my wife still loves me.”

• • •

Later that night, you stare out the window of his apartment at that bright billboard. You gaze at it curiously, and hear Matt call your name gently behind you. In his hands, he holds your hearing aids.

You put them on, and just look at him for a few minutes.

“You kept them?”

“I never stopped looking for you..” He told you. “I prayed every night hoping to hear your heartbeat again.” He tells you, and you don’t know what to make of it. He seems so devoted to you, yet you have these memories of him beating you until you’re close to death.

“I’m sorry I can’t be in love with you the way you want me to be.”

He shrugs gently.

“In sickness and in health, right?”

“And in torture and memory alteration.”

“Same thing.”

For the first time in six months, you smile.

Maybe your husband isn’t such a bad guy.

You can only hope he’ll love you long enough for you to get your shit together and not want to kill him anymore.

• • •

Memories are a tricky thing.

You decide to spend your days with Frank, hunting down various people who worked with The Doctor. You talk a lot about your memories with him. And no matter what, at the end of the day, you have dinner with Matt.

One night, he brings home Thai Food.

“We had this for our first date,” he recalls. “You got pad Thai, your favorite.” You try to recall the memory.

“You wore a nice blue button up, right?” You say softly. He smiles gently and nods.

“Yeah. I did.” He says gently.

“Can..” You hesitate. “Can you tell me more about it? Our life together? I can’t.. discern between what’s real and fabricated.” You’re making new memories, sure, but you know he misses the life the two of you had together.

But he’s caught off guard by your request. For the past few weeks, you’ve been hesitant to indulge in any memories you think might be real.

“You used to work for me.” He tells you. “Not in a weird way, but our office is small. We fell in love over Thai food and opening statements.”

“Why did you want to marry me?”

He hesitates for a second, not wanting to scare you off.

“Because I love you.” He tells you. “Because when you were with me, it was the closest thing I’d ever knew to peace.” He confesses.

“Oh..”

“Yeah.” He takes another bite of his food. “You know if you have a memory and you don’t know if it’s real, you can always ask.”

You smile softly.

“Thanks.” There’s a soft silence that fills the room before you ask, “I have this memory of us in bed, with you running your hand through my hair.. Your fingers tracing these antlers I have.. Is that real?”

“Yeah, it is..” He promised. “I have a thing about textures and your hair is soft.”

“I’m glad.” You smile. This is nice. This gentleness that’s between you. It’s a softness you aren’t used to, one that you don’t know if you’d ever quite get used to.

Later that night, when you were meant to be fast asleep, you wake up with a startling gasp in bed. You look around panicked. You don’t quite know who you’re looking for..

Until Matt comes into the room, a concerned look on his face.

“Are you okay?” He asks, and this calmness washes over you.

“Yeah..”

“Okay. Okay, good, I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” He says softly. He’s been so good to you, sleeping on the couch for so many weeks. He goes to leave, but you call out to him. He turns back to you.

“Can you stay with me?” You ask.

“Yeah, of course.” He says softly, climbing into bed with you. You think for a second, before shifting a bit, resting your head against his chest. You listen to the gentle thud of his heartbeat, as his hand finds your back, gently rubbing up and down. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He isn’t dumb—He knows you have nightmares. And that on the nights that you do, you’re quieter and more avoidant of him. It’s a bad habit, one you want to break. Because you recognize that your dreams aren’t real.

Matt has never done anything to you, and you’re sure of this.. For the most part. Sometimes when you wake up, you must reorient yourself and remind yourself that Matt has no malicious intent towards you and no reason to hurt you.

But it takes you a few minutes to accomplish this. On those mornings, you tend to keep your distance from him, and because Matt wants nothing but your happiness, he stays away from you. But tea is always placed in front of you, and he never strays far from you.

“Not really.” You finally answer. There’s another beat of silence. “We went as the couple from The Princess Bride for our first Halloween together.. Real or not real?”

“Real.” He confirms.

“You broke my nose once during an argument. Real or not real?”

“Not real.” He tells you. “I would never hurt you. Even when we used to fight at the gym, it was always for practice, never to do actual damage. And when we would spar, it would always end with us going home and taking a hot bath.”

You close your eyes, trying to recall that particular memory. When you find it, your face flushes with this unfamiliar heat.

“You’re still trying to protect me even though I wanted you dead... Real or not real?”

“Real.” He doesn’t even hesitate. He’s not sure if you’ve realized it yet, but he’d rather die than put you anywhere close to being in danger. His hand continues to trace patterns into your skin, as you think about his response.

You fall asleep like this, close to the man who you’re realizing has never intended to hurt you a day in your life.

• • •

The day you realize you’re in love with your husband is horrifying.

Which seems like a crazy accusation to make, and yet, you feel nothing but horror when you realize that you are desperate for him. Which is insane, because you’ve been living with him for two months when you realize you are desperate to kiss him like you’re drowning and need air.

It happens at the office. You decided to cook, because you remember really liking it, and to say thank you for all he’s done for you, you want to bring lunch to Matt at work. So you make this really delicious chicken pesto pasta, and you pick up sodas to go along with it. Matt gets the following text:

‘Your favorite soda is Dr. Pepper. Real or not real?’

Five minutes later, you get a response.

‘Real. Yours is sprite.’

You pick up a bottle of each and head over to his office. You’ve been there a few times before, but mostly it was because Frank needed to talk to Karen about something, but lately you’ve found yourself wanting to go to the office just to see Matt.

Matt is surprised when he hears the familiar beat of your heart on the other side of the door. He can also hear the slight buzz of your hearing aids.

“Sweetheart, you can come in.” He calls, but you hesitate even further. Not because you’re confused as to why he knows it’s you, but because your brain sort of short circuits when he calls you the pet name. But after a few minutes, you walk into the room and place lunch on his desk, as well with your drinks.

“Do you like pesto?”

“We had pesto pasta at our wedding.” Oh.

“So you do?”

“Yeah, I do. Especially the way you make it.”

“Oh, good.” You smile and sit at the chair on the other side of the desk. “Because I made chicken pesto pasta for lunch and figured you might want some.”

“Well, thank you for thinking of me.”

There’s a quiet calm between the two of you.

“This is a pretty killer first date, huh?” This makes Matt laugh, because in his mind, your first date was eating Thai food and listening to music. But this isn’t bad either.

“Well, Chivalry must be dead then, because I didn’t even buy you flowers.” He hums, and you tilt your head.

“I don’t remember you ever buying me flowers.” He frowns at this.

“Well, I’m going to have to fix that.”

And that’s how the afternoon goes. You sit with Matt in his office, eating a homemade chicken pasta and falling in love with him. As you go to leave, he asks you what you have planned for the day.

“I have some errands to run, but I should be home to make dinner.” And for a moment, Matt forgets all that’s happened, and he lets himself believe that you have all your memories of him perfectly intact and no one’s ever made you think otherwise.

You get back to the apartment a few hours later, and just as you’re unpacking your groceries, there’s a knock at the door. When you open it, a delivery man stands with a bouquet of flowers. Your face is warm as you sign off on them.

As you put them in their vase, you notice a note attached to it. You catch yourself grinning as you read his little note, that reads ‘I’ll buy you flowers until I’m old and wrinkly. Real.’

The urge to run back to the office and kiss him overwhelms you.

So you call Frank.

This leads to the pair of you, sitting at a booth in a diner, nursing coffees and toast.

“I hope you didn’t call me here just to complain about married life.” He tells you, making a joke out of the thing that terrifies you.

“No, I just wanted you to sit here talking to a chick with antlers so you can look like more of a freak than you already are.” You tease.

It gets you both laughing. These moments, in between all the nightmares and all of the filmy memories, fill you with a light you can’t quite describe.

“So, why’d you really call me to meet up?” He asks. “I have to assume you don’t just want to chitchat.”

“I think I’m in love with Matt.” You tell him. He raises an eyebrow.

“What? Why does that sound like you think it’s a problem?” He asks.

“I don’t know.” You confess. “It’s like I don’t want to love him, like a part of me still believes he’s the bad guy. I know he does.. Besides, I was so awful to him for so long. I pointed a gun at him and he still comforts me every night. What if I don’t deserve this?” You ask. “What if I don’t deserve him?”

Frank actually laughs—Okay, not like a giggle or a belly laugh, but it gets a good chuckle out of him.

“You and Red with that shit—Questioning if you’ve done enough for something good to happen to you. With the ‘Do I deserve this?’ and the ‘Am I worthy of this?” He shakes his head. “All that shit is irrelevant. Do you want it? Do you want to be with him?”

Tears fill your eyes as you realize what that means.

“You and him, you love each other like breathing, and I know you don’t quite get that yet, but it’s the same reason you didn’t shoot him that day. Something in you knows that you love him and deserve his love.” Frank is speaking from experience, because he knows that no matter what he’s done, he knows he deserves one more kiss from his wife.

But he’ll never get that chance.

He hopes Matt does.

• • •

It takes you a long time to make your way back to the apartment. When you get there, Matt immediately stands from his place on the couch and has this look of concern etched across his face.

“Is everything okay?” he asks gently, “Your heart is racing, I just want to make sure you’re safe and—"

“I’m fine.” You smile gently. “Really, I… Thank you for the flowers.” You tell him. His face softens.

“You like them?”

“I love them, Matt.” You confess. “I’ve spent.. So long trying to rationalize everything, sort out the real things from the things that aren’t..” You’re not too sure what you’re trying to say. “I just.. I want.. I want to try. I want to try and be with you, I’m ready for that. I’m ready to be happy with you..”

He hesitates. Not because he doesn’t want to, because he doesn’t want you, but he is worried that you’re only saying these things because you feel like you might owe him. You don’t. You don’t owe him anything other than what you want to give him, and he is desperate for you to know that.

“Sweetheart, You don’t.. I don’t need.. I don’t need you to pretend like you want me just because I’ve taken care of you. It’s more than enough to just—”

Matt is cut off by his first kiss from you in eight months. Your hands rest on the sides of his cheeks, and his arms are quickly around your torso. The kiss is passionate but soft at first—Until you push deeper, desperate to be as close as you can to him. Your hand even comes up to pull off his glasses to see his eyes.

Without thinking, you pull away from him only for your hand to come down to the hem of his shirt, going to pull it off.

“Off, off, off, off—” You softly request, and he just laughs, taking your hand in his, pressing a kiss to the back of it.

“Stop. Wait.” He says gently. “I just.. I want to make sure you actually want this.. That you really want me.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“You’ve been reserved for the past two months, rightfully so, but now you want to sleep with me.. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret. Or something you do just because you feel lonely or bad that I—” You cut him off with another kiss, breaking it shortly after.

“I want you. I want to rebuild my life with you. I want to create new, untainted memories.. It won’t be easy, but I want to be with you.” You confess. “I want countless summer nights, I want you to be there for all the nightmares, I.. I want to give you the same peace you’ve been trying to give me.”

You’re both crying and you don’t quite know why. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a gold band. He slips it onto your fingers and kisses you again. He holds the hand with your wedding ring on it as he leads you into the bedroom. Into your life together. Into your arms. Where you were meant to be.

The next morning, you lay in the quiet of your apartment, the silk sheets tickling your skin. You focus on Matt’s breathing. He traces patterns into your skin.

“What are you thinking about?” You ask, and he takes a moment to answer.

“You.” He says gently. “You’re all I’ve been thinking about for three years.” He says gently. Then, when you don’t say anything, “Our anniversary was two months ago..” You know he misses the life you could have had together.

The life that he had planned out for the pair of you in his head. The life that oh so quietly, he longs for. The one without nightmares, supplemented by the laughter of any potential children you might have.

“I could get used to thinking about you, too, you know.” And it makes him laugh, as you lean up and bite his shoulder gently, before placing a kiss to that same patch of skin. He swats your arm gently before the pair of you break down into giggles.

“In the future, if you ever.. don’t want to do that, you don’t have to.”

“I know.” You tell him.

A comfortable silence fills the air again.

“I’m so happy you came back to me.” He says gently. “I was.. I spent so long worried that.. that we’d spend years just trying to find our footing again. That you wouldn’t get better..” For the second time tonight, you cut off his overthinking with a kiss.

“I love you.” You tell him when you’re finally ready to pull away. The morning light shines into the apartment, giving Matt this glowing effect. He practically shimmers in the golden light, and you just take a moment to commit the look of him to memory.

You try and take your time, studying him. He’s so beautiful this time of day.

“Real or not real?” He asks you softly, as one hand snakes up to your hair, his fingers gently running through it.

You lean forward and place a soft kiss to his lips.

“Real.”

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x y/n #matt murdock x you #daredevil fic #daredevil #matt murdock fic #matt murdock angst #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock hurt/comfort #matt murdock love of my life #frank castle #karen page #foggy nelson #marvel fic #mcu fanfic #marvel comics #hard of hearing!reader #hoh!reader #deaf!reader

[gemini-sensei]

Can you do something with Keene!Reader who is Robby's twin sister. She's really cute and shy but in a giggly way if that makes sense? Robby always has her in the background away from him or anyone for that matter so not a lot of people even know they are related. She's pretty strong but doesn't like to fight unless she has to. She more so just likes to keep quiet and watch but if her twin is in trouble she's all over who ever is messing with him.

Robby Keene x Twin-Sister!Keene!Reader

This isn't exactly what you asked for but it's something and I like the way it turned out, so I hope you do to. I would love to do more of this quiet and shy but secretly strong Keene!Reader CW: slight fighting, canon lever fighting, slight hint of Hawk x Reader, mostly sibling/familial relationships, Kenny as a brother figure.

It all started at the All Valley when their dad decided to put Cobra Kai into the competition. Reader warned her brother that fighting against them was a bad idea but he didn't care, assuring her that he knew what he was doing despite not having a dojo to back him up. He was fighting solo, all alone, no one to coach him through it. He thought a couple of months of karate training at Daniel LaRusso's house was sufficient enough to do the trick. She wasn't so sure. Nevertheless, she was there to support him and cheer him on, quietly at least.

The rowdy crowd wasn't really her scene, but she suffered through the loud noise, yelling and violence to support him. That's was siblings did after all, and at the end of the day, Reader and Robby only had each other.

She wished she could say her brother won despite the odds stacked against him, especially after that idiot with the mohawk dislocated his shoulder, but he didn't. Their dad got what he wanted and Robby walked away with his head down. Things went up and down from there.

Now Reader found herself at a crossroads. She wanted to support her brother like always, but he had joined Cobra Kai after a messy fight and some manipulation from John Kreese, someone their dad Johnny swore was dead at one point. To top it off, he was living at the dojo while Reader was forced to stay with Johnny while their mom was at rehab. She wanted to support Robby, she really did, but she couldn't. She knew it was best for him to get out of Cobra Kai, but he wouldn't listen to her.

So she did what she did best, stuck her nose in a book and tried to ignore the outside world.

That didn't stop Johnny from coming around and knocking on her door. He wanted her to join the dojo he and Daniel were trying to manage together, but it was a hot mess that she wasn't going to touch. However, to get him to shut the fuck up from time to time, she let him teach her karate in the living room. They pushed the furniture out of the way so he could teach her a lesson or two, never holding back.

It was one of those afternoons she could have been spending reading, but instead found herself getting frustrated with her dad. She wasn't giving it her all yet, she was tired and bored, but he kept pushing her. Then he said the magic words.

"Hey, how about this: if you can knock me down, I'll take ya to the bookstore," he said.

She looked at him. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, now come on, give it your all."

So she put everything into sparring with him and withing two minutes, knocked him off of his feet and jabbed his chest like he'd shown her to do. It took his breath away and he winced, but that pain passed quickly as he realized what had just happened. He jumped up and yelled, "Hell yeah! That's how it's done!"

She walked past him. "I'm going to take a shower, then you'll take me to the bookstore."

"Shit, right," he said, realizing the hole he'd dug for himself.

It wasn't long after that when Robby invited her to the drive-in. He wanted to spend time with her and thought an outing with his Cobra friends was the perfect opportunity for that. She agreed but only because it was her twin. She took her new book with her though.

"Aye yo, Keene!" Kyler had yelled as they approached the group. "Who's the hottie?"

"None of your business, Park," he seethed, quick to that protective brotherly anger her harbored. Mixed with his predominate anger and he was close to punching his own teammate in the face just for calling his sister a 'hottie'. "Leave her alone, man. If I hear you so much as talk to her, I'll-"

"Robby!" Reader called him down. "Chill out..."

"I knew I shouldn't have brought you here."

"Well, it's too late for that now. I'm here, deal with it."

The other Cobras weren't as intimidating as Reader had originally thought. They weren't all bad like her dad had made them out to be, and why should she think that when he had been one of them once upon a time? The newest and sweetest of the group, Kenny, was kind and made her laugh. She was quick to think of him as a little brother. Whenever she laughed, she dropped her head and tried to keep quiet, hiding away from everyone.

When the movie started, she tried to get into it, but it really wasn't her thing. She didn't regret bringing her book, even if Kyler teased her when she pulled it out. She became a little flustered at this and decided to go get a drink to get away from him, especially when his teasing turned into weird flirting that she didn't know how to respond to.

As she was getting her drink, she noticed Kenny carrying a ton of food and drinks back to the Cobras and she wanted to help him. She turned her back to get her drink from the vendor and turned back only to see the mohawked Hawk appeared and that all the snacks were on the ground. Hawk laughed at him, which sparked that buried away anger inside of Reader.

She charged over there and shoved Hawk away from Kenny. "Get away from him!"

"Whoa! Calm down!" Hawk laughed, amused by her sudden appearance. "We were just having a little fun."

She gestured to the ground at the mess of food. "Yeah, this looks like a lot of fun. Why don't you just go back to your friends and leave him alone?"

"Look, I don't know who you think you are, but this kid is nothing but trouble so long as he's in Cobra Kai," Hawk told her.

"Funny coming from a guy that was one of them not that long ago," she told him, then turned to Kenny and put her arm around him. He'd hidden behind her and taken quick shelter from Hawk. "Let's get out of here."

"Hey, I'm not done talking to you," Hawk said, reaching for her arm. When he grabbed it, she elbowed him in the gut and flipped him over her shoulder. He hit the ground with a hard thud and stared up at her wide eyes, somewhere between his bewilderment and anger. "Whoa..."

She stepped over him without another word and looked to Kenny. "Come on, let's go get those snacks again. I'll help you carry them this time."

When she and Kenny returned to the group, Robby approached to check on her. "Hey, what was all that about?"

She shrugged. "Just Hawk being an ass like always."

"You handled that well," he said proudly. "Where'd you learn to fight like that."

She hummed, knowing he wouldn't like the answer. She knocked her shoulder into his, smiled, and told him, "From watching my brother of course."

#keene!reader #quiet!reader #shy!reader #robby keene #brother!robby #keene twins #robby keene x chubby reader #robby keene x reader #hawk moskowitz #hawk moskowitz x reader #hawk moskowitz x chubby reader #hawk moskowitz headcanons #eli hawk moskowitz #eli moskowitz x reader #eli moskowitz x chubby reader #eli moskowitz #cobra kai #cobra kai headcanons #cobra kai x reader #cobra kai x chubby reader #cobra kai x plus size reader #chubby reader #plus size reader #gemini sensei

[gh0st-t0wn3]

Lmk ss edits + Headcanons, Part 2 (Pigsy, Tang, Sandy, Sun Wukong, Macaque)

- He/Him

- Bisexual

- Huge environmentalist, if you put any garbage or recycling in the wrong bin expect to get at least a three hour lecture, no you can not escape this, yes MK and Mei have tried, no they did not succeed

- ONLY shops from farmers markets/family businesses, you will never catch this man supporting a corporation

- Use to steal Tang's college hoodies

- Took him the longest to get used to having Redson around and a part of the group , but eventually warmed up to him (is still kinda salty about Redson burning MK's room though)

- Grows his own herbs

- Gets incredibly frustrated when he gets the hiccups (writing this as I'm fighting off hiccups)

- Loves watching true crime shows and listening to true crime podcasts while he does household chores or while he's setting up/closing the shop

- Got his ears pierced with Tang

- MK and Mei call him mom when he's being overbearing, Tang calls him mom now too to tease him

- Once caught Mei and MK sneaking food out of the kitchen at 3am and beat them with a broom for a solid minute because he was too drowsy to recognize them and assumed they were intruders (they were fine)

- Is the type of person to call his husband (Tang) "bro", "dude" etc

- Got drunk in college once and talked about nothing but how much he loved Tang, didn't remember any of it the next day but Tang asked him out pretty quickly after that

- Exchanged a few recipes with DBK while they were at the beach, they still do exchange more recipes once in a while but they don't talk much outside of cooking related topics

- Learned how to play dnd in college because Tang liked the game and ended up liking it a lot more than he expected to so they wound up playing together all the time (they still play it once in a while if they have time)

- Him and Sandy get together every other weekend to try and help Pigsy with his anger management issues

- Never called MK his son while he was growing up because he was scared that MK's real family would show up one day to take him back home, finally realized that no one was gonna show up a short while after MK turned 10 and started acting like an actual parent (MK always saw Pigsy as his dad though)

- Always says "this is the last time" when giving Tang free noodles (it is never gonna be the last time, and Tang knows it)

- Once bumped into a mannequin at the mall and apologized to it, Tang still makes fun of him

- Use to take Mei and MK to conventions all the time until Mei learned how to drive and could take them herself

- Won't care for people getting hurt in movies but will be absolutely crushed if something happens to an animal (sobbed when he watched "A Dog's Purpose")

- Smells like noodles

- Love language is acts of service

- Keeps trying to convince Tang to come with him to family events, has yet to succeed

- Carries around an extra pair of headphones in case Tang or MK needs them

- Almost threw hands with DBK and PiF after hearing about how they treated Redson (seriously guys, I need Redson to have a good parental figure in the next season, please), this man is a father to everyone

- Snores loud as fuck, it's a wonder how Tang gets any sleep

- No fashion sense what's so ever

- Insomnia

- He/Him

- Gay

- Once zoned out and stared at a wall for six hours straight

- Desk is covered in pencil shavings and pen ink

- Constantly bruised from always falling (weak ankles)

- Fluent in Polish, don't ask why, it just feels right

- Doodled all over his books in school (they made him pay for new ones)

- Never up before sunrise

- Got in some random dudes car once thinking it was a taxi and almost got himself kidnapped

- Will make the most annoying, smart-ass remark to anything anyone says

- I'm not actually sure if it's ever mentioned in the show what Tang does for a living but it doesn't matter, he's a college history professor now

- Has grandma floral bedsheets (we've all seen his sleepwear, you cannot tell me that man doesn't have grandma floral bedsheets)

- Somehow always cold

- Constanly napping, he can and will fall asleep if he's left alone for too long (his students once caught him asleep at his desk after lunch break and dipped class)

- Used to have hexagon glasses cause he thought they looked cool but found out Pigsy liked circular ones better so he got new ones

- Still has a septum piercing he got while he was in college but keeps it flipped up, he also has ear gauges

- When he met Pigsy's parents he was super nervous and ended up passing out half way through the night because of anxiety, he has not lived it down and refuses to go to any events with Pigsy if his family is gonna be there (they actually really liked him and are disappointed when he doesn't show up)

- Doesn't own a bookshelf for some reason, everything is just piled on the floor

- Very faint freckles

- Needs a daily 'to do' list, his whole day gets thrown off if he doesn't have some kind of schedule

- Maladaptive daydreamer

- Never showers, only takes baths

- Needs headphones on crowded transportation otherwise he'll get stressed at all the noises and talking overlapping eachother

- Severe rsd (rejection sensitivity dysphoria,  "benched" was an especially bad time for him)

- Number one art appreciator and constantly drags Pigsy to museums

- Smells like a library (please tell me you know what smell I mean)

- Love language is gift giving ( and you KNOW he loves you when he shares his food with you willingly)

- 76% of the clothes he owns are thrifted

- Blind as a fucking bat, if he looses his glasses he's on the floor feeling around for them like Velma,  I swear they could be two feet in front of him but he won't even notice

- Hypersomnia

- He/Him

- Bisexual

- Huge conspiracy theorist, ask him anything and he'll have some in depth explanation on how it relates to cryptids or something (I'm talking Matpat level conspiracy theorist, seriously, someone get him help)

- Slowest typer on the planet (mainly because the screen is too small for his hands), will respond to something 3-5 minutes after they changed topics

- Made seed bombs and threw them everywhere at random around the city and now there's a bunch of flowers and vines growing everywhere

- Was the first one (Aside from Mei and MK) to welcome Redson into the group with open arms, everyone else was still kinda cautious

- Would literally die for any of his friends, no questions asked, no hesitation, just jumps in the line of danger as soon as he sees one of his friends about to get hurt

- Didn't have a lot of friends growing up until he met Pigsy in his last year of high school because everyone was afraid of him

- He and Pigsy were in a band together in college, Sandy discusses it with pride, Pigsy gets embarrassed and denies ever being in a band at all

- Since he also has scales he's the one who teaches and helps Mei look after her scales and keep them from drying or getting damaged

- Yoga master, wakes up super early to do it during sunrise

- Has the best taste in music, he can find the most amazing, tear jerking, heart wrenching, underground music ever effortlessly

- Hasn't met a single person he wasn't able to get along with

- Firmly believes in all the little wishing rituals (11:11, shooting stars, birthday candles, blowing dandelions etc)

- Learned how to whistle so he could sing along with birds

- *gets robbed* "oh, i bet he needed the money, it's ok"  "I really don't think he did." "...maybe he's gonna donate it!"

- Favourite kind of tea is earl grey

- Named one of his cats Maquack after Macaque

- Sometimes cat sits for Bai He when she goes to doctor appointments, family visits out of the city, etc

- Got his piercing while he was still in a band but kept them in because his band mates were some of his first friends and they all got pierced together

- Has a tail to help him swim better (unfortunately I could not add it in the edit above but just I imagine he has the same kind of tail as the water Na'vi in Avatar ig)

- Skin has a faint ombre to it (his hands and feet are lighter and fade around his forearms/knees to a slightly darker blue (i did add this one in my edit but unfortunately I don't think it's as visible as I wanted it to be, my bad)

- Webbed hands and feet to help him swim better

- Has adipose eyelids like a fish to protect his eyes from the water, block exposure of harmful ultraviolet light into his eyes and act as protection against impact to the eye in aquatic environments. Since his eyelids are transparent though, he has to wear a sleeping mask at night

- Smells like a mix of ocean air and tea

- Love language is quality time and physical touch (will pick up and hug his friends all the time no matter the place)

- His hair and beard always have something in them, sand, seaweed etc

- Shoes are actually really uncomfortable for him to wear because his body is evolved for an aquatic environment, but he doesn't want to be rude so he wears them anyway (Mei found out and got him a customized pair of shoes so he could be comfortable without feeling like he's being rude)

- Uses Kaomojis

- If he's not busy, or doesn't have anything planned for the next few hours, he'll spend his free time cleaning up the ocean and beaches from any garbage

- He/Him

- Pansexual

- Everything he has ever done has been an impulse decision

- Is the type of mf to kick the inside of someone knee while they're walking to make them fold (Tang is the primary victim)

- Chews his nails

- Made up his own constellations as a "fuck you" to the universe (somehow managed to convince some mortals they were real constellations too)

- Mk and Co constantly forget how ancient swk is until he says some old person shit

- Naturally has curly and untamable hair, uses glamor to avoid getting called out about not taking care of it

- Horrifically optimistic

- Always has leaves and dirt and sticks etc in his hair

- Will sit out in the rain for hours on end

- Follow up on the last hc, he's been struck by lightning.. twice

- Actually has really heavy eyebags but uses glamor to cover them up

- Gets bored super easily

- Has naturally long lashes, Mei is still convinced he's wearing makeup though

- Cannot cook for the life of him

- His memories are always in shades of gold, no ones sure if it hasn't something to do with his gold vision or not, even himself, he just can't remember things in normal colour

- Stress induced migraines from the circlet

- Not a fan of big cities but loves how the lights look at night

- Stacks of notebooks and loose paper, cannot keep anything organized

- Takes a nap everyday at exactly 2:38 without fail

- Freezes in the winter, man's house has no insulation whatsoever

- Doesn't like big crowds but also can't stand not being the center of attention

- Once picked fleas out of both MK's and his own hair and ate them, MK was and still is disgusted, he will never look at Monkey King the same way again

- Smells like Peaches (it's like the only fucking thing he eats)

- Love language is physical touch

- Kinda chubby (mostly around his stomach and thighs) but still has muscles

- Always teasing Redson about the fact that he's technically his uncle since he and DBK are sworn brothers, he finds Redson's overreactions to it funny but is secretly kinda hurt that Redson doesn't think of him as family anymore (He use to when he was a little kid but stopped seeing Wukong as family after he sealed DBK away. They've started to try and mend their relationship after the events of season 4, it's slow but it's progress)

- Sometimes the monkey's on FFM will come into his house through the windows at night to sleep with him for comfort

- Really bad with technology but pretends he's just too good for the internet so he can avoid using it without looking old

- He/Him

- Bisexual

- Says his "S"'s really sharply

- If you ask him anything about himself he'll give you a different answer to the exact same question everytime (he thinks it makes him mysterious,  it does not)

- Lower lid eyeliner >>>

- If you say something stupid or weird he'll just stare judgingly until you take it back

- Actually lost his mind when he found out what blowing bubbles were

- Drinks tea with an ungodly amount of sugar

- Chronic eye pain + headaches. It's gotten significantly better over the years but.. yk, eye gouged out

- Has a deeply relaxing voice, strangely enough

- Has tried to compliment people before but it always ends up coming off as an insult

- Classical music or heavy rock, no in-between

- It is literally impossible to take a bad picture of him

- Puts his hair up in a bun whe he doesn't wanna deal with it

- Has patches of freeze burns from LBD, along his right side (mostly just his arm).

- Theater kid

- Rose tea enjoyer

- Likes to bake sometimes and frequently exchanges recipes with Pigsy and DBK

- Like to watch the sunrise and sunset

- Hates being out in the sun too long, not having a shaded area nearby for an easy escape stresses him

- Will stare out the window while it rains, Mei once said he looked like he was pretending to be in a cringey early 2010 music video

- Hard of hearing, his six ears are very sensitive and all the fighting and screaming has definitely done some damage to them by now

- Follow up on the last HC, despite being hard of hearing he will either absolutely refuse to wear hearing aids, or will wear them (albeit begrudgingly) but cover them with glamor

- Septum and snake bite piercings he got during his emo phase

- Smells like grapes, don't ask

- Love language is quality time, he doesn't care to actually have a conversation, though, he's fine just sitting in comfortable silence

- Will use his shadow transport for the dumbest things when he's lazy, like teleporting the TV remote to him if it's on the other side of the couch, teleport a bag of chips from the pantry to him in his bedroom,  etc

- Room is covered in scented candles

- Sandy has invited him over to work out some of his problems multiple times, he doesn't really care to open up though, he just goes for the cats (Sandy let's him)

- His hair is always soft and he refuses to tell anyone what he washes with, MK has asked multiple times and he gets a different, vague answer everytime

#fanart #lego monkie kid #lego monkey kid fanart #lmk sun wukong #lmk macaque #lmk sandy #lmk tang #lmk pigsy #freenoodleshipping #lmk freenoodles #monkie kid freenoodles #shadowpeach #lmk shadowpeach #lego monkie kid shadowpeach #lmk headcanon #headcanon #edit

[grossditz]

WAITJRLDB WAITRNDLDBS OMGGGBEKDBEN hello im a new anon but i just saw the bigbro! hanbin blackmailing you into sleeping with him # ANDJDLDJ@(#<#(#* honestly just keel me alr 😵‍💫 hope you elaborate more into this (if you want ofc) cause i can perfectly picture him making his way into you from the back while he presses your head w his hand against the bed/table ANDHDLDJSL

bigbro!hanbin has always been sketchy towards you. sometimes you would catch him lingering outside your room door in the middle of the night (while you're unaware he's already watched you cum all over your fingers) before going to his room. or sometimes he'd purposely walk in the bathroom while you're changing, only thing on always your bra. it was like he followed your every move, knowing what you were doing at every minute.

thats why you're not surprised when you catch him in your room after a night out, laying on your bed with a smile on his face. "do mom and dad know you smoke?" you nearly tripped over your rug, running over to the bed and grabbing the pack of cigarettes from his grasp. "why were you looking through my stuff?!" you didn't get the chance to pull away before hanbin was pulling your body onto his, strong arms locked around your waist. "hanbin—" you muttered, fists slamming against his chest, "knock it off." he was so much stronger than you. this wasn't even a fair fight. he ignored you, tugging on your spaghetti straps, slipping them gentle off your shoulders. "no! wait— you can't do that!"

"i'll tell mom and dad you've been smoking, yn." his voice is low, fingers working on pulling more pieces of your clothing down, "ill tell if you don't let me."

hes serious when he says this. movement stilling waiting for your response. this was frustrating. you had no way to get past this. if they found out you've been doing drugs, they'd definitely kick you out! you have nowhere else to go! this was too bad! you tried to flutter away the tears blooming in the corners of your eyes. "bin..." your lip quivered. hanbin smiled, continuing his actions. he didn't care that fat tears were already starting to roll down your cheeks. not when his hand is pushing on your core and its so tiny, so tight and ready for a good big brother to fuck.

hes so rough when manhandling you. pressing you into the bed and forcing his cock inside you :( pushing his hand down your your stomach to create the illusion of him going that deep inside you. hes really so mean :( calling you a slut for actually letting your big brother take you while your parents are down the hall! as if this isn't all his fault to begin with!

he cums in you so much, fucking his cum deeper with every rut of hips, forcing your head down on the mattress going, "stupid little sister loves getting her belly stretched out huh?" his tip hitting your womb so hard, "gonna have your brothers baby? love it dont you?"

ofc you do! you would do anything to keep hanbin from ratting you out !!! even if it means giving all of yourself to him </3

#parkhanbin ୨୧ #boys planet smut #boys planet hard hours #evnne x reader #evnne scenarios #evnne imagines #evnne smut #park hanbin smut

[neverchecking]

Welcome to the Rabbit Hole~

Hello, Darlings~ I know most writers don't do this, but I can understand how frustrating it can be to go to a writer's page, read about a specific AU, but have no way of getting to the beginning to join the fun. So, here we are! Welcome to Cinder's Navigation of my current AU's!

Sweet but Psycho AU:

˚ ✦An AU where the Reader is not only aware of the boys' tendencies, but encourages it.

The start (This is kind of where the idea bubbles up)

How does the Chain feel? (Short version)

The Rewards (Ft. Bozai)

Sage figures it out (I love this sm honestly-)

In what order does the rest of the Chain find out?

Thoughts on the 'Sit on my Face' request with this Reader

Just this. All of this. (If nothing else read this one.)

Dom! Sadistic Reader punishing a Link (Also this one.)

Thoughts on Ganon.

Reader who loves giving affection

A new kind of punishment (Og starter)

Holy Grail AU:

˚ ✦An AU where Reader is not only their God(dess), but an actual god(dess), and now has a soul bond with every Link after saving them.

The Start

Cal gets some attention

Possible reasoning for the Soul bond?

The problem with Hylia

Mostly general Sage and his Zelda tidbit

More Zelda slander and why Reader is good foil against her.

Zelda and Reader meet.

The Chain gets a Baby bit Renamed: THE BABY CHAIN (>:D):

˚ ✦Not an AU, but this took off and I want it accessible. Basically, Poly! Chain with Pregnant! Reader, and the children that come of it.

The post that started it all

Who's getting a baby first?

Baby looks like Reader?

Sage and the Twins that aren't his.

Fierce Daddy-ity

Cursed Link. That's it. That's the Tweet.

The start of the debate.

The boys are dolphins.

TWO DADS

The debate PART 2 INCLUDING REBUTTALS

Let's talk genetics :)

BIG BROTHER WIND and Dad! Four ig

Sky is a baby leash parent

Wind as the best big brother while the others fight over who the bd is

Fierce Deity Baby Daddy

Sky as a dad :)

The chain with kids hghgg READ THIS ONE

Sky is perfect. Thats it. Thats the tweet.

Househusband sky

Dad Warriors

Four's daughter also splits

The colors vs Their Mini-me's. Take one. (Take two)

Dad! Ravio

The Fierce kiddos shenanigans

The triplets fighting over if the kid is theirs. (Me bs-ing why it's all of theirs)

Lightbulb baby.

Four needs to learn to wrap it b4 he taps it bc this is getting out of hand- /j

Universe switch

˚ ✦Keep up with me and @my-insanity-is-an-artform 's ocs and if their universes got switched! Tia belongs to them and Aaliyah belongs to me!

Tia introduction

Tia's first moments in Sage's Hyrule

Tia looks at a feral man and decides he won't bit. (Yes he do)

How're the links handling the switch? (This just in; not well)

Tia is kidnapping someone. Even if they go willingly.

The start of it all (Go read this right now)

The Hateno home and The Sheikah

How's Sage doing?

When does the Switch happen?

The chain makes an appearance.

Merging Hyrules

Sage Vs. Fungus

Sage + Fungus Vs. everything else.

Sweetpea is enough.

Fucked around. Found out.

Wild and Cal make their reappearance.

Fungus is gonna be courted, Saaagge.

Sage and Aaliyah are good with kids (And the consequences)

Aaliyah is Regina George coded.

Found Family

Family and getting your back blown out (Those should never intertwine <3)

There are so many parents going around and yet Sage and Aaliyah still act fatherless </3

The Story:

Part 1: Something

Part 2: Portals

Sage acquires a baby

˚ ✦Sage acquires Baby! Reader and just. Takes them.

The acquisition.

Baby is a crawler

The acceptance

Baby's first Lynel attack &lt;3

Mama Wild

Co-parents Sage and Wild

Reader's real parents?

Custody battle Take one

Wild is trusting with child. More on this at seven.

Papa bear sage

Baby has a triforce?

Emotional support animal wolfie

Soft Sage dad

First steps

Monkey.

Dink makes an appearance

Baby Real mom

Baby goats

Navi

Sage and Wild Vs. Legend

Mastermind child

Menace child.

The Gerudo gain momentary custody

Wind is brother coded

Wild took back his custody

˚ ✦My Rules

˚ ✦My Masterlist

˚ ✦Main Navigation

#cinder rambles #yandere linked universe #linked universe x reader #linked universe #yandere legend of zelda #yandere linked universe x reader #linkeduniverse

[tired-biscuit]

we need more angst with stepbrother kiba 🙏🏼 the jealous and the fear to tell the truth ughhhh i need more

imagine that after the awkward encounter of him knocking on your door and you giving him the cold shoulder, you end up spiralling into some kind of rebellion phase.

i mean, if he can do it, why can’t you? so you start partying more often rather than hanging out with him in the living room, and dress yourself in those pretty but short clothes that have been gathering dust in the back of your closet, and stop calling him to pick you up, and basically completely shut him out of your life in the process.

he watches from the sidelines for a couple of weeks as you let yourself go wild, walking on thin ice and trying to initiate contact again just to be brushed off each time in response and outright ignored. it drives him crazy. drives him mad. he hates being ignored, especially by you.

and kiba being kiba, he just can’t keep his mouth shut, you know? so it’s no wonder that he throws a backhanded comment your way when you bump into each other in the kitchen one late night after you come back from yet another party and he’s left his room to rummage through the fridge for a midnight snack.

he doesn’t talk to you at first, but he stares. your make up is smudged under your eyes and you smell like overly sweet perfume and sweat. the first couple of buttons of your top are undone and the skirt you’ve got on is so short that he can see the back of your thighs when you walk past him to grab yourself a glass of water. you’ve clearly been having some fun with someone that definitely isn’t him, he doesn’t need to ask to know that.

and that makes his chest tighten, painfully so. he knows he’s got no right, he knows, but he just can’t help but turn snarky and mean because of the jealousy that sears his heart and causes his jaw to clench so harshly that he’s gritting his teeth. like, really mean.

he mutters something disrespectful about your messy appearance. for some reason, you also can’t help yourself, so you throw a rude remark right back instead of simply continuing to pretend like he doesn’t exist. as is expected, it goes back and forth like this; with both of you refusing to relent, the tension quickly rises and already hot blood begins to simmer within your veins.

blind anger turns you both terribly inconsiderate. by the time he calls you a slut and you tell him that you wish he just straight up died, you’re nearly at each other’s throats. your voices grow in volume and it gets so bad that your father has to rush out of bed and down the stairs to see what all the commotion is about, only to end up having to hold you back because you’re seconds away from clawing your stepbrother’s eyes out.

doors are slammed shut when you both go to bed that night and neither of you sleeps well. but when morning comes and you venture back downstairs, you’re relieved to find out that he’s already out of the house. the only time you see him again in the following days is during family dinners in the evenings and if you sometimes cross paths on your way to your respective bedrooms, but even then it’s fucking awful.

you even go as far as to switch seats at the table. you sit next to your dad and he sits next to his mom, and neither of you talks or looks at each other during the entire meal. your parents think this is just a hurdle you’ll get over eventually, a mere bump in the road — most siblings have fights, don’t they? — but they don’t know the reason as to why that bump is there in the first place. they don’t know that it’s way more complicated than simple bickering between a brother and sister. they don’t know shit.

and neither do you. you don’t know that your shift in attitude stems from attraction yet, while he’s pretty positive that he’s got the hots for his little stepsister, but refuses to admit it to himself. so you’re both frustrated as hell.

but hey, maybe it’s better this way. after all, if you’re on bad terms and not speaking to each other, he can stop fooling himself with the idea of actually having a chance to find out what the inside of your mouth tastes like.

come to think of it, he’s just being a good big brother; protecting you like he always does.

only this time he’s protecting you from himself.

#cw stepcest #biscuit mail

[burstanddecay]

In the low lamplight (Matt Murdock x f!reader) (18+)

Summary: As your shitty day comes to a peak in his kitchen, Matt is determined to coax you into accepting something other than your self-deprecating thoughts.

Pairing: Matt Murdock x (afab) f!reader (no use of Y/N)

Content warning: 18+ content. Reader cursus like a sailor. Daddy issues (the actual kind, not the sexual ones), childhood trauma (emotional, not physical), emotional hurt/comfort, teasing, thigh riding, orgasm (both parties), Matt using the words ‘good girl’ because he can. Word count: 4.9K

Author’s note: Baby’s first explicit fic, so I am absolutely terrified of posting this. This also happens to come from a personal place: I started this when I was very angry at the world, lmao. The only difference is that I do not have a Matt to make me forget my problems. This is un-beta’d. Also on AO3

With a clatter, the contents splatter everywhere as the cast iron pan hits the floor at your feet.

“God fucking damnit. Fuck. FUCK.”

You cradle your burned hand, kicking the pan to the side as you turned to the sink, letting the lukewarm water run over your palm as your elbows rested on the edge of the counter, head hung low between your shoulders. You didn’t register the door opening, or Matt walking across the apartment in the blink of an eye until the door falls shut and he comes to a halt just outside the kitchen area.

“What happened?” he asks, careful not to step in any of the food. A feat in and of itself: you’re pretty sure the sauce is spread all over the cabinets and floor. It wouldn’t surprise you if some of it was smeared on the back of Matt’s leather sofa, either.

“Wet towel,” you murmur, turning the tap off and wiping your hands on said towel, not offering any further explanation.

“Hmm,” he hums, stepping closer. “You okay?”

“Fuckin’ peachy.”

He shows you a half smile, the rest of his facial expression hidden behind his crimson glasses. “Somehow, I don’t think that’s the truth,” he muses.

“What do you want me to fucking say, Matt?” you snap, wetting a dishcloth and dropping to your knees, scooping the spilled dinner into the pan at your side. “Everything is turning to fucking shit and I wasn’t paying attention. I grabbed the pan with dinner, the one thing I was sure I wouldn’t fuck up, and I picked it up with a wet towel and burned my hand. Hence dinner being spread across the floor of your apartment, and not on a plate, like I meant for it to be.”

He doesn’t reply, merely cocking his head to the side ever so slightly as he was facing you.

You bristle against his unfocussed stare, against the knowledge that he was searching for your heartbeat, listening to other tells of your body that could tell him what was wrong.

“Can you not.”

He doesn’t reply, but instead pulls at his pantlegs and crouches down to get to eyelevel.

“I know it can’t be just the dinner, sweetheart.”

Your jaw tenses, the metallic tang of blood filling your mouth as you bite down hard on the side of your cheek, several emotions fighting each other for fist place. You fish the last chunks of tomato and bell pepper off the floor, wiping your hands on the dishtowel and lean back on your heels.

“What happened today?”

You look up at him, at the soft expression on his face, before quickly looking away, ignoring the tears stinging behind your eyes.

He doesn’t push, knowing it would only fuel the anger and frustration coursing through your veins. Instead, he stays put, not moving towards you but not away either, hands loosely dangling between his knees.  

“My dad,” you eventually say, looking up at the ceiling in a final attempt to blink the tears away. “Every time I think we take a step forwards… He just... He ends up stabbing me in the back regardless. And mom says he loves me, and that he just doesn’t know how to say it,” a bitter laugh slips past your lips, your cheeks wet with tears that had started to steadily trickle down. “He never learned how to say it, how to express it. Or anything, for that matter.”

You take a shaky breath, looking over at Matt, who merely gave a small smile in return to encourage you to continue.

“I thought it would be better when I moved, and it is, for the most part. But then there’s still days where I am back to seventeen years old and being ignored for a month straight because I did something to displease him.”

You finick with your hands, pulling at the already raw skin of your cuticles, the sight blurry through your tears. It made you feel small, insignificant, sitting here on the kitchen floor of your boyfriends apartment, surrounded by a mess you made. It wasn’t like Matt doesn’t have enough to worry about: you know he does. Along with his late night activities as Daredevil, the firm had been busy after taking a big case that garnered them much deserved attention.

Yet here you were, with the comparatively small issue that was the feeling that your father didn’t love you. It felt so insignificant, so trivial compared to the problems you knew graced Matt’s life on a daily basis.  

“I can hear you thinking,” he says softly, reaching out to brush some hair out of your face. “Not the good kind, either.”

You snort. “I happen to be very good at that, to be fair.”

“I know. Doesn’t mean you deserve it, though.”

“Don’t deserve what?” you ask, pawing at your face to wipe away the excess tears.

“Whatever it is that you’re telling yourself.”

A laugh bubbles up as you push your hair out of your face and reached for the dishcloth. “It’s true, though.”

He stays quiet, and you can feel him observing you as you wipe away at the stains across the kitchen cabinets and floor. It wasn’t observing in the literal sense: he had explained that he really couldn’t see you beyond a very vague silhouette, but that he rather listened to someone’s heartbeat and breathing pattern to get a sense of what they weren’t telling him.

“I want to meet him,” he eventually says, catching you completely off guard.

“What?” you frown, pausing mid-wipe.

“I want to meet your father.”

“Trust me, you don’t,” you scoff. “He’d be a complete ass. That man wouldn’t know how to be friendly if his life depended on it.”

“I want to meet the person that makes you feel this way about yourself,” Matt replies, giving a little shrug. “For undisclosed and unrelated reasons, I will be out of town tomorrow.”

You sit back on your heels again, an amused smile ghosting across your face.

“Are you now.”

“No.” The word is accompanied by a wide grin. “Made you smile, though.”

You huff out a soft laugh, a small smile on your face as you scoot over a little, focussing on cleaning the remaining stains, ignoring the small pang of hurt still blossoming in your chest.

“In all seriousness,” he continues. “I know how much it hurts you, and I’m sorry. You don’t deserve any of it. Not whatever it was this time, or the things you experienced as a child. None of it.”

“I shouldn’t complain, really,” you say, the words bitter in your mouth as you put more pressure behind your scrubbing. “I still have both my parents. They were supportive enough.”

Matt sighs softly, scrubbing a hand over his face, knocking his glasses askew.

Satisfied with lack of sauce spread across the kitchen, you reach for the pan and get up, tossing the remains in the trash and placing the pan itself on the counter to deal with later. Turning on the tap, you carefully scrub your hands with soap until they’re sauce free, shaking the majority of the water off before reaching for the dry towel hanging off the handle of the oven door.

“I can make us a grilled cheese,” you say as move over to the fridge, looking for more ingredients that could be pulled together into a semi-edible dinner. “I think you have a canned soup in your pantry, or I can run to the bodega to grab one. There’s some leek and left over bell pepper, so I could make an omelette—”

You’re cut off as you feel a pair of arms snaking around your waist, Matt’s hot breath ghosting across your neck as he rests his head on your shoulder.

“Stop.”

You squirm against his hold, trying to break free out of his grasp.

“I’m not going to let go, sweetheart.”

“I am trying to make you dinner, Matthew.”

“It can wait.”

The warm prick of tears stings behind your eyes again and you try to squirm your way out of Matt’s grip, but he doesn’t budge. He doesn’t say a word as your breath hitches in your throat, merely guiding you a step back and closing the refrigerator.

You hadn’t noticed until now, but stuck to the door with a tiny magnet was a photo of you.

It was the final straw.

Your face crumples and you are unable to stop the sob wracking through your chest at the sight of it. It was stupid: there wasn’t a single piece of art, decorative pillow or vase of flowers to be found in his entire apartment, but there was a picture you stuck the door of your blind boyfriend’s fridge. A picture he couldn’t even see, but it was there, nonetheless.

He lets go, his hands running up and down your arms as you bury your face in your hands, crying harder than you’ve done in years, barely aware that he was spinning you around and pulling you to his chest, leaning back into the countertop as he did. His hands are gentle as one cradles the back of your head and the other is rubbing light circles on your back, not saying a word as your head rests against his chest, staining his shirt with both tears and left over sauce you were undoubtedly transferring, something you tell him in between hiccupping breaths.

A soft chuckle rumbles through his chest. “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. I can get a new one. That’s something we can easily fix.”

Knowing it was something that would have led to anger in a different situation, with different people, the tears seem to be never ending, chest aching with ancient scars that feel like they’ve been torn wide open.

Through the tears, Matt is unmoving, taking the thing in calm grace as if it were merely the tide coming in, and not a tsunami crashing across a village. It felt like the latter: the anger and hurt towards your relationship with your father was something laid in waiting, waiting to strike when you least expected it. It was always the smallest things that triggered it out its hiding spot, something that shouldn’t matter but that he managed to blow up into something that he would inevitably spin into a narrative that would place the blame on you.

It was something that made you sad; the kind of sad where it ends up festering into self destructive anger. It was anger at the way it was now, and anger at the fact it had always been like that: the one person that was supposed to be there with unconditional love was the one that put terms and conditions on it.

But it wasn’t Matt’s fault. It wasn’t, yet you had exploded into his face, sending the shrapnel of your anger flying into his unsuspected stature.

“I’m sorry I’m a mess,” you eventually say when the tears have stopped flowing as harshly, letting go of him and setting a step back. “You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

You laugh wetly in reply.

“I’m serious,” he says. “Don’t be. I’m a mess, too. Foggy is a mess. Karen is a mess. We’re all messes in our own accord, sweetheart. The reasons might be different, but none of us are always doing okay. And that’s fine. That happens. Doesn’t make you a bad person, it just makes you human.”

You hadn’t noticed he had taken his glasses off until you looked up at his face, meeting unfocussed brown eyes instead of his glasses. You knew he meant every word of it: he had told you about his own struggles. He had told you how dark the world had seemed to him, how he had only seen the pain and hurt in his life and no longer the good surrounding him. How he had isolated himself and locked every single person that saw the good him in out, until there was nothing but darkness and anger surrounding him.

It was on days like this, where everything accumulated into a giant mess that left you unable to see the good in your life that Matt would take your hand and let you know you were more than that, that the good was still there but hidden behind everything else.

His hand cupped your cheek, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb.

“I love you, okay?”

You smile, laying your hand over his, feeling tired but also lighter than before. “I know. I love you, too. Thank you.”

“Anytime, sweetheart.”

A silence falls between you, nothing but the busy street below and the low hum of the fridge audible in the apartment.

“Let me cook dinner,” he eventually says, his hand moving down to your hip and pressing a kiss to your temple. “Let me take care of you tonight.”

“I love you, but you’re absolutely useless in the kitchen, Matt,” you laugh, amused at his offer. “You’re not cooking us dinner.”

“Are you implying that a blind person can’t cook?” he mocks, one eyebrow quirked and a wide smile on his face.

“No. I am implying that you specifically would burn water. You keep losing the recipe for making ice cubes.”

His mouth falls open. “That is so mean and you know it's not true.”

You grin in reply, beelining across the kitchen in an attempt to get away from him as he stalks after you. You run into the bedroom, trying to close the sliding doors before he can make it in, but he is far faster than you, one arm pulling you into his chest before you’re able to dive onto the bed to roll over it.

“Didn’t think so, sweetheart,” he murmurs in your ear, closing the door behind him, his hand snaking up to your chin as he stood behind you, not quite pressed against your back but so close you can feel the heat radiating off him.

You grin breathlessly as his thumb brushes over your lips, the other fingers bracing your jaw. “Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it?”

“Gonna show you just how capable I am of taking care of you,” he replies calmly, breath hot in your neck. “Don’t need sight for that.”

Your breathing falters ever so slightly at his tone, desire coiling hotly in your lower belly as he guides your forward until your knees brush the side of his bed.

“Say the word and I will stop. We will sit on the couch, order take out and you can watch a movie. Nothing happens right now without your okay. Understood?”

His hand feels as if it’s searing a hole through your shirt with the way it spans across your ribs, the other still holding onto your jaw. There was nothing possessive about it: if anything, it was gentle, warm, caring.

You nod, a soft huff of disapproval whispered across your ear.

“Words, please, sweetheart.”

“Yeah,” you whisper in return.

“Do you want this?”

“Please,” you reply, unable to keep the whiny edge out of your voice. “Yes. Please.”

You can feel him grinning as he presses hot kisses to the side of your neck, brushing your hair to the side.

“Good girl.”

You try to supress the shiver rolling through your body at those words. He didn’t use them often: his preferred term was sweetheart, using it more often than your actual name. Rarely there was baby, usually reserved for late nights, dim lighting and lazy kisses. Even less often than that there was the occasional darling, when you accompanied him to professional events.

But the words good girl only made their appearance when he had one goal in mind.

Getting you off and asking nothing in return.

He guides you forward, onto the bed until you’re sat back on your heels between Matt’s thighs, his chest pressed against your back.

In a torturously slow pace, the hand that had been resting on your jaw crawled it’s way down, his fingers leaving a scorching hot trail as they travelled down your throat, skimming across your collarbone, grazing the side of your breast and down your ribs until both his hands were resting at your waist.

You lean your head back onto his shoulder, a content sigh leaving your body as you practically melt into him.

“There you go,” he murmurs, voice rumbling lowly through his chest. “There’s my girl. It’s all about you right now. Whatever you want.”

“Don’t have to do that,” you reply, eyes closed and revelling in the intimacy of the moment. “’s a two way street.”

“Not tonight.”

Not a quite a command, but as close as he would get to it.

You think on it for a moment, absentmindedly running your nails up and down his thighs until he shivers behind you. You laugh, the sound bright and warm, a stark contrast to how you’d been feeling ten minutes ago.

“You sure about that?” you ask, shifting positions to look at him with a grin, well aware of the fact that he has to actively stop himself from rolling his hips against you to bring the slightest relief to the hardness straining against the zipper of his slacks.

“I’m starting to doubt it,” he smiles. “But yes. Let me just think about something horrible for a second—”

“Matthew!” you scold in faux horror, slapping his chest, something that is met with a wide grin.

“Kidding, kidding.”

“I think I just want to make you come in your pants,” you deadpan, pushing against his chest until he gets the memo, scooting back until he’s sat against the headboard. “Or just get you so hard and worked up that you can’t think straight and then just leave.”

He grins widely, hands resting on your hips as you move to sit on his lap. “I love it when you get cocky. It’s very sexy.”

You don’t reply, instead choosing to focus on untying his tie. You know you could just easily pull it over his head, discarding of it that way, but you revel in the micro expressions flashing across his face as your fingers brush against the base of his throat as you work the knot loose.

“Should tie you up with it,” you softly say, gliding your hands down the silk fabric before moving to unbutton his shirt, touch feather light as you elicit another shiver from him. “Would that be okay?”

You can see his breath hitching in his throat, Adam’s apple bobbing heavily as he swallows.

Leaning forward, your hands pressed against his bare chest, you ask again in a soft whisper against his ear.

“Would that be okay, Matthew?”

“Yes.”

The word is barely a whisper, a confession almost disappearing into nothing.

“Next time,” you promise him, gently pressing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Had other ideas for now.”

He smiles in return, fingers digging into your hips as you scoot a little higher onto his lap, biting back a whine as you revel in the wave of pleasure crashing over you at the friction the combination of Matt’s thighs and your jeans provide.

“Ah,” he breathes, smile widening into something soft, as if he’d been waiting for it.

“There we are.”

“Shut up,” you grumble, no real bite behind the words.

“You gonna ride my thigh, sweetheart? Think you can make yourself come that way?”

His fingers are ghosting across your top of your jeans, as gentle as the expression on his face, not making any decisions before you make them.

“I know you can,” he continues. “Seen you do it before.”

You flush in a wave embarrassment, ducking your head and biting your lip as you avoid looking up at him.

“Hey, hey, no,” he tells you sternly, guiding your head back up with a finger hooked under your chin. “None of that. Not here. Not with me.”

You pause as he drops his hand, taking a moment to take in the man sitting beneath you. The neon sign outside cast a reddish-pink light across his features, the sight familiar and comforting as he shows you a crooked smile.

“Love you,” you mutter softly, the feeling all encompassing.

“Show me.”

“What?”

“Show me. Show me how you feel, sweetheart. I want you to ride my thighs until you come so hard you’re left a quivering mess. I want you to tie me up and ride me until you see stars. I want you to take whatever makes you feel good, without expecting anything in return. Whatever that looks like, I can take it.”

“Jesus, Matt,” you breathe, heat crawling up your spine at his blunt confession.

“Language, sweetheart,” he retorts, the grin on his face devastating.  

You don’t bother thinking of a witty reply, but rather pull your shirt over your head before crashing your lips into his, knocking teeth together in your hurry to devour him whole. His hands are everywhere: across your back, on your hips, in your hair: you can’t keep track as you tug at his open shirt, urging him to sit forward as you push it past his shoulders. He quickly tossed it off the bed before his hands are finding their way back onto your body, his shifting causing more friction that leaves you moaning into his mouth.

He grins into the kiss at the sound, his hand spanning between your shoulder blades as he presses you chest to chest, getting you as close as he could in this position.

“There you go,” he breathes, his other hand at the nape of your neck, mouth leaving wet kisses on the side. You grind into him shamelessly at this point, his hard cock now definitely straining against his zipper, providing more of that friction you were desperately chasing. It wasn’t enough: you desperately wanted him as close as you could get him.

Your hand snakes into his hair, pulling his head back as he lets out a low hiss, the other digging crescent moons into his shoulder as your fingernails claw into his skin, kissing his neck with a sense of urgency as his low moan shifts into a chuckle.

“Gonna actually come in my pants if you keep this up, sweetheart,” he confesses, the words almost hesitant, as if he didn’t want to make you feel bad.

“Aren’t you lucky that I want to finish with you inside,” you whisper with a grin, pressing a kiss just below his ear, something that earns you yet another shiver as your hands move to unzip his pants before moving off his lap, handing him a condom from the nightstand as you shimmy your way out of your jeans, leaving you in a mismatched pair of underwear consisting of cotton panties and a bra that didn’t match in colour.

The chilly air of the apartment in late autumn crashed over you, making you shiver, something Matt took note of as he pulls you back against his body, his hand snaking down, fingers brushing against the soaked fabric of your panties.

“There you are,” he whispers, the featherlight touch almost unbearable as he slowly drags his fingers up until they brush past your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body. You bite back a moan, breath hitching in your throat as you do, all cockiness from a mere moment ago forgotten. Though you could easily crawl on top and take what you wanted that way, all you wanted in this moment was Matt. His fingers, his cock inside you: all of him, everywhere.

You don’t say any of it, instead a soft please is whispered and he knows, he understands, unclasping your bra and pulling your panties down before pulling you into his lap, positioning himself and letting you take the lead as you slowly sink down onto him, working your way through the stretch. You can see him biting back a moan, screwing his eyes shut: he didn’t want to make you feel like you had to hurry, not after the incident during your first time together. The pair of you had underestimated the situation and tears had sprung to your eyes when you were too eager, the worry in his voice still ringing through at times when he thought he had made the same mistake.

He hisses lowly as you slide home, giving you both a second to adjust, his hands steading you at your waist.

“I’m afraid this isn’t going to last long,” he confesses as you slowly start grinding down onto him. “Wasn’t kidding about the pants.”

His hand makes it way down, sending you jolting as he brushes against your clit, easing into a steady rhythm that leaves you gasping as you continue your own rhythm.

“Feel so good, baby,” he murmurs, his mouth leaving a trail of kisses running across your neck and shoulders, his words only adding fuel to the fire. “You’re doing so well, taking me so well, darling,” he continues, using every pet name available in the book.

It works: it drives you insane, making you grind down harder as you chase after your release that is so close you could taste it, but just out of reach.

“Please,” you gasp, desperate for it, clawing helplessly at his shoulders. “Need you, Matt, I’m so close. Please.”

“Shit,” he hisses, your words sending him bucking up into you, hitting deeper than before, his fingers stuttering as he rests his forehead against your shoulder. You knew it was taking every grain of willpower for him to not come on the spot, but you couldn’t help the whine that escaped.

“I’m sorry sweetheart,” he apologises through gritted teeth, picking up with renewed enthusiasm, his mouth hot on your neck. “Fuck, baby—”

It was the raw tone of his voice that sent you over the edge, arching back as your orgasm crashed over you like a wave, barely aware that Matt was right after you, keeping you upright on his lap.

“You’re stunning,” he grinned, looking up at you with a devastating smile as you caught your breath.

You laugh silently, brushing your sweaty hair out of your face with a grin that matches his.

“You’re not so bad yourself, Murdock.”

You slide off him, feeling a little empty but satisfied as you lean over to kiss him.

“Thank you,” you tell him softly. “For everything you do.”

“Anytime, sweetheart,” he says, rolling off the bed and padding towards the bathroom.

You hesitate for a second, curiosity blooming in your chest as you recall earlier, getting up after him.

“Matt?”

“Hm?” he asks, wetting a washcloth and handing it over to you.

“Why is there a picture of me on your fridge?”

“Ah. Yeah. About that. Didn’t think it would make you cry,” he confessed. “I figured it’d be nice, to have something that represented you in here. For when you’re not yourself,” he shrugs, as if that would somehow clarify the situation, cleaning himself before tossing the condom into the trash and stepping into a pair of grey jogging pants, leaving you alone in the bathroom.

You follow his example and make your way into his living room as you pull one of his discarded hoodies over your head, frowning a little as you watch him rummage through a drawer.

“Matt.”

“Yeah, sweetheart.”

“Matt, you cannot see the picture.”

He paused, snorting softly. “I’m aware.”

“Then why?” you ask, feeling a little exasperated. “I could just leave a shirt here, or even some perfume. Something that you know, is actually for your benefit.”

He considers it briefly, a heavy frown present on his face as he searches for the right answer.

“I… it’s not for me,” he eventually slowly says. “I know of your presence here. I can smell the remnants of your perfume, even when you’re gone. But nothing tells other people that visit here those things, because there wasn’t any visual aid to help voice that. I want people to know that you are in my life, and you’re important. I want to show someone what you look like when they ask. That I’m proud of you.”

You bite your lip, looking at your boyfriend who was standing in his living room, the perfect image of comfort in his grey sweats, giving you the recognition you were absolutely starved for as if it were the easiest thing in the world.

“I love you, and I’m so proud of you,” he emphasises, as if he can sense how much you need to hear those words. “No conditions.”

“Thank you,” you tell him softly, unable to fully express the way those words fill the cracks in your heart.

He smiles softly.

“Any time, sweetheart. Any time. Now, Thai or pizza?” he asks, holding up a set of flyers from local takeout spots.

“Thai,” you scoff as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I’ve seen enough red sauce for the day.”

“Right. Yeah. Nearly forgot about that.”

“Liar,” you tell him, eyes fixated on the kitchen with a squint. “I can see a spot I missed from here; I know you can smell it.”

“I didn’t want to make you feel bad!” he exclaims, hands in the air in self-defence. “I figured I’d clean it when you weren’t looking.”

You snort, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek as you pass him on your way to the kitchen. “Thank you for your attempt at sparing my feelings. I clean, you order and set the table. Deal?”

“Deal.”  

#matt murdock #matt murdock x fem!reader smut #matt murdock x reader #daredevil x reader #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock fanfic #daredevil fanfiction

[romanarose]

For the Longest Time: Chapter 9

William Miller x Fem!OC (Lorelei Giang)

Masterlist : Triple Frontier Masterlist :Playlist

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Summary: A happy gathering devolves.

Warnings: Domestic violence, homophobia, transphobia, fighting, physical violence, blood, pregnancy talk, choking, PIV sex, talk of OCD, meds, orgasm struggles, fingering, JUST LOTS OF ANGST OKAY

AN/ here we gooooooo

*****************

Will had Lorelei on her hands and knees, naked on his bed as he fucked into her, his hand splayed on her butt and thumb fucking into her asshole. He was rough like she liked it, but always careful with her, knowing her limits. Will was conscious not to hurt her or the baby. At 8 months this was about the only comfortable position left. Will had assured her time and time again that they didn’t have to have sex… but he said it one too many times, making the woman who used to never cry break down in tears thinking that meant he thought she was ugly. Lorelei was very emotional these days. And incredibly horny.

It was fairly often Will woke up in the middle of the night (or day, depending if they were napping. Lorelei still worked and occasionally had to stay late still) to the buzzzzzzzz of her vibrator as she lay in bed with him.

That’s how today started. Several people had called in, and Lorelei didn’t want to leave the hospital understaffed so she stayed overnight, with the stipulation that she got to leave early on Thursday. Laci and Santi wanted to gather everyone, probably something to do with the wedding plans, and although Laci assured her it was okay she missed this, Lorelei wanted to be there. Lorelei wondered if they were going to postpone the wedding while they figure out whatever their issues are.

Lorelei and Will were taking a nap the afternoon before everyone was getting together at their bar, but Lorelei woke up from a sex dream, needy as all hell. She looked over to her loving boyfriend, sleeping so soundly and could not bare to wake him. The gentle giant, all 6’2 of him, was curled up under a fluffy white blanket looking downright angelic. Lorelei absolutely adored this, being able to watch him sleep… He worked so hard, he deserved it. He did so much for his family. It was nice to watch him rest.

But right now she needed a dick inside her, so she grabbed a dildo and vibrator from her bedside drawer, avoiding the gun she still kept inside, and tried her best not to wake Will.

That did not work, and neither did the attempt at an orgasm with her giant belly in the way.

When she groans in frustration, she hears Will chuckle next to her, and she turns to see a shirtless Will smiling at her.

 Over the last 2 months, Will had become comfortable being shirtless around Lorelei, but she noticed he still avoided situations where his bare back was to her if he could help it. In respect, Lorelei turned away whenever it was unavoidable, and she never touched him there. Will had explained what happened, how his dad would whip him so badly he’d have to miss school, bedridden while his mom tended to his wounds. Talking about the beatings he endured were hard, but he spoke almost mechanically, relaying the details. What was hard for him, where he choked up, was talking about his mom. Will loved him mom, he never blamed her outwardly… but there was a layer of betrayal in his voice at the idea that she never took him and Ben away, that Will was left to be the sole protector of his brother he was only 2 years older than. His mom was a victim of his dads abuse too, and with therapy he understands why she couldn’t leave… but that doesn’t change the scared boy inside him wondering why he wasn’t enough for his mom to protect.

Lorelei sighed, dropping her arms to the bed with the vibrator rumbling against the mattress and a dildo sticking out of her cunt.

“Is this funny to you?”

He chuckles. “A little bit.”

“You're laughing.” Lore pouts dramatically. “I can’t get off with two sex toys and you’re laughing?”

“I’m laughing,” William begins caressing her brown skin, trailing fingers over her swelling breasts and over her large stomach. “Because you can’t go more than a few hours without needing to get filled.” His voice dropped low, reaching for the dildo and sliding it backside. Lorelei moaned, her head dropping back as he slowly fucked her with it.

“Fuck, William…” Lorelei sucks in a deep breath, letting Will take over for her. Before, if she wanted to cum constantly she usually had to take matters into her own hands, but with Will, Lore could just allow him to handle it. Usually, Lorelei preferred to be on top, she liked control in one way or another and Will had been happy to give it to her, still keeping his bits of control in ways like guiding her hips rocking over him. Sex with William was akin to a dance, both of them working together for mutual pleasure. However, lately Lorelei has had less and less energy to be on top or in any sort of control, and has acquiesced to letting Will take care of her.

“Why didn’t you wake me, baby?” Will coo’s in her ear.

Lorelei whines. “You work so hard…”

Will chuckles a little bit. “Princess, you work 40+ hours a week 8 months pregnant. I volunteer part time. You can wake me if you wanna feel something other than cheap plastic in you.”

Lorelei mutters something about it not being cheap, panting as she lays there getting fucked. “You volunteer, you help the farm, you’re dealing with Ben and have been driving Laci around-”

 Santi was doing some consulting lately. With Laci and Frankie working and Ben and Will having their own personal lives busy, he’d confessed to being lonely, and was trying to keep busy. Not that he’d ever tell Laci that, god no. He didn’t want her to feel like she had to stay home. The 30 hour weeks were working for her. Laci can’t drive, so Will had been helping her out here and there. 

As for the farm, they had some hired help but Will was out there for long hours while Lorelei worked. He had wanted to sell the damn place, it was barely functional as it was and Mrs. Miller was getting ready to move off the property, but no buyers just yet. It was looking like harvest season was going to need to be manned by them. Ben wanted nothing to do with the farm, so he was no help. He existed in a stand of a constant buzz of alcohol anyway, and refused rehab.

Will cut her off with a kiss. “None of that matters more than my princess needing me.”

She melted into him, all her barriers were coming down with every day he continued to prove himself. She couldn’t wait to see him with Chloe… the idea of Will with a tiny baby made her think about getting pregnant intentionally. 

He’ll be a good dad. She just knew it.

That’s how she ended up on her hands and knees, coming on his cock 3 times and he was still going. 

“Fuck!” He grumbled, pulling out of her and sighing, but no orgasm. Will was suddenly avoidant, scooching off the side of the bed to get dressed.

“Will?” Lorelei asked, initially reaching for him, but remembering not to touch his back. She excited the other side of the bed to walk around in full view of him so no moved were sudden. There was no part of Lorelei that thought Will would hurt her. He hadn’t had flashbacks for years. But, she still was conscious of things that may trigger or discomfort him.

“Okay if I wrap us up?” She asked, stark naked but holding a blanket. Will nods, and she joins him at the end of the bed where she wraps and blanket around them both. “You okay?”

Will nods, eyes closed as he’s doing his breathing. His dick was softening, and it made Lorelei sad to know he was struggling. After the ball, Lorelei went with Will to his therapy appointment. Will only went once a month now. He signed up after the fated mission that lead them to rescuing Laci. Ben had been shot, leading to some poor behavior on Will’s part in his treatment towards Laci in the beginning, residual feelings about protecting his baby brother despite Ben’s capabilities as a soldier. He didn’t like how he was acting, so he was the first to go to therapy. Frankie came later after some encouragement from Laci, who is still in weekly therapy. 

Will addressed his issues quickly being the efficient and intuitive person he was. Straight to the point. He was going once a month, but had bumped it up to twice and was seeing a psych at Lorelei’s request. Part of it was because of his new diagnosis, but also because of the continued stress of Ben. Ben refused to get help for his eating, insisting there wasn’t a problem and just became more secretive. He wasn’t himself. Over the last few months, in addition to Laci’s mood swings, Ben had become far from the man who knew before Will. Gone was the ray of sunshine that beamed at her even beaten and bloodied from a bar fight. Ben wasn’t himself. 

He didn’t smile much anymore, barely laughed… she missed him loud, booming laughter. He never sang. She used to always know when he was in her hospital because he would sing as nurses wheeled him down halls or while trying to hit on them, respectfully, of course. He so clearly avoided Laci and sometimes straight up ignored her when she talked to him. This was because Alice hated her and accused Ben of cheating with his former best friend. It broke Loreilei’s heart to see Ben and Laci so sad and so distant. He was still her best man, Laci refused to back down from that, even when Santi suggested he be a bride’s man and Jana take over as maid of honor. They weren’t doing bachelorettes or anything like that, but Santi thought she might want someone next to her that-

He didn’t get to finish the sentence, Laci cut him off and it ended in a fight. Laci refused to give up on him, even if he abandoned her.

So, all this was naturally putting a lot of stress on Will. Only reprieve he had was when Frankie came over to watch sports. Frankie and Jana were thriving.

Will was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive disorder, and was placed on a high dosage of prozac that was being tapered up. It wasn’t easy on him at all, but he took it with stride, know the adjustment period was the hardest, saying Laci had mentioned last year struggling to find the right medications.

Right now, however, what drove him crazy was that sometimes, the medicine prohibited orgasms.

“You feeling okay?” Lorelei asked when he calmed down and opened his eyes. 

Will sighs. “Yeah, yeah, I guess.” He kisses her head. “Let’s get dressed.”

Lorelei watches as he gets up averting her eyes from his back and instead admiring his ass and the way it’s plumped just a bit.

“It’s fucking annoying.” He muttered, turned away from her. He talks better about his feelings when looking away. Even in therapy, she noticed he doesn’t look at his therapist.

She knew he was referring to being unable to orgasm. “I know, but it’s gotten better, hasn’t it? It’s only once in a while now. I don’t mean that to invalidate-”

Will turns around with a soft smile. “I know, Lore. You mean it’s better than it was when I started.”

She nods, relieved. She’s not used to comforting, but she’s doing her best for him. After he dresses, and he sees her still watching him with a hungry gaze, he throws an old shirt at her, knowing damn well she won’t be caught outside their home in that. “Get dressed, baby. We can go for round 4 after drinks.”

*

Laci was glowing. Her wedding only 2 weeks away, both her and Santi were laughing and smiling at the table looking ever-in love. Lorelei liked seeing them like this. Will and Lorelei walked in the same time as Jana and Frankie, and Will held the door open for all three of them (Frankie did a little curtsy and thanked Will in his ‘playing barbies with Rosie’ voice).

Jana was already begging Laci to tell her what the big meeting was, an edge of anxiety to her voice Will recognized and he locked eyes with Frankie. They were worried about the same thing he and Lorelei were, thinking the wedding was postponed. 

But Laci just smiled brightly, saying it was a good surprise, but she wanted Ben there. Santi locked eyes with everyone, and everyone locked eyes with everyone except Laci, knowing Laci was setting herself up for disappointment. Whatever reaction she wanted from Ben, she wouldn’t get.

“Well, he needs to hurry up, because we have an announcement too.” Jana turned to Laci and smiled.

Ben was an hour late, walking in with Alice and already looked drunk. He had bags under his eyes, his normally golden skin was pale despite the summer sun. He had gained weight, which wasn’t a bad thing but it was an sig he wasn’t going outside or to the gym. Bulimia tends to cause weight gain. This was not the Benjamin the girls knew. This Ben had been seen by Frank and Santi a few times over the years, but this was something Will was deeply and terrifyingly familiar with. This is the Benjamin their dad beat into him, the Benjamin after Cameron left, the Benjamin that was bullied so severely by people like Alice Will constantly worried for his brother’s safety. This was bad. 

Alice was with him. She was never invited, but somehow always tagged along. 

Will whispered to Frankie. “I think he’s on something, keep an eye out.”

Frankie passed it to Jana, and Jana nodded at Will. Jana and Frankie weren’t experimental with drugs, mostly weed and coke, but back in their party days they knew people on everything and were equipped, along with Lorelei, to recognize it. Laci too, having been an addict of all sorts of drugs and vices, but she had enough on her plate.

“Okay!” Laci said excitedly, bouncing in her seat as she held Santi’s hand. “Jana first!” 

Jana tried to hold off. “No, no Laci you gathered us, you go first.”

After some back and forth, Jana acquiesced and took her boyfriends hand, looking at him with a bright smile as Frankie looked at her adoringly. 

“We’re having a baby.”

The table erupted with congratulations, Laci and Santi jumping out of their chairs to hug their friends, Will and Lorelei following suit. As a shocked Laci teared up talking to Jana, Will observed Santi holding Frankie close, his hands so wrapped up and entangled in his hair that Frankie’s cap fell down. Frankie and Santi were never afraid to show each other affection, and Santi’s eyes even teared up, whispering how proud he was of his friend. 

Will joined in, hugging them both. “I’m so fucking happy for you.” Rosie’s pregnancy was an accident, a miracle that happened in a bad time and gave Will his little niece he loved so much, but this was something happening that showed how far both of them had come. Frankie and Jana were sober and the leather cusp Frankie wore on his wrist, a gift from Laci, hid the scars of how close Frankie came to not making it to this point. Look how much he had to live for.

Ben congratulated them sincerely, even Alice smiled and said congratulations, but Ben’s eyes were not bright and excited like when they announced Jana was pregnant with Rosie. The light was gone. Ben knew as well as the others how hard Frankie worked to get sober for his family, and it made Will want to cry to see him this dead inside. The Benny he knew would be whooping and cheering and announcing to the entire bar.

When everyone settled, Jana turned to Laci. “Okay sweets, what's your announcement?”

Laci and Santi immediately turned to each other, hesitating, then to the group

“Um… we can tell you guys another time, we don’t wanna hijack your announcement.

Frankie told them it was nonsense, that this was their get together and they were happy to share excitement with their friends. 

After some deliberation, Laci took a deep breath.

“I’m pregnant.” She says softly, but the giddiness radiating off her body. 

Jana whipped towards her, mouth agape. “What?!?!”

Santi pulls Laci’s whole chair closer so he can cuddle Laci up next to him. He looked as happy as someone can possibly be, like he was floating on air. He turned to Laci, placing a hand on her stomach. “Mi chica perfecta, having baby…” He kissed her forehead and held her as Will, Lorelei, Jana and Frankie got up to hug the couple. The whole time, being flooded with kind words, Laci’s eyes were locked on Ben’s who was stared at her, sad and blank faced.

Alice elbowed him. “Say something, you fucking asshole.”

Ben jumped, but mumbled a congratulations.

Jana was so excited to be pregnant at the same time as her friend. She expressed how amazing it was to have three of them pregnant at once, how the kids would all be friends.

As everyone settled again, Santi spoke again. “There’s one more thing, we um… we know what we’re having…” He said, smiling widely. Will had never seen Santi like this before Laci. Everyone likes to talk about what Santi’s done for Laci, taking a physically, sexually, and emotionally broken down woman and loving her for all her broken pieces, building her up to the person she is now, a woman who still has hardships but is joyful, strong, and empathetic. Thing is, the change in Santi is evident. He’s no longer a ball of anger and anxiety, no longer alone and depressed after his sister and mothers death. He’s content, excited for his future with his girl by his side and now a baby. Laci brought him peace he never knew he could have.

Lorelei spoke. “How… how is that possible?” She glanced at Laci’s stomach. She’d gained weight the last few months, but everyone just assumed it was the weight she was supposed to be putting on to be healthy anyway. They planned to try for a baby as soon as they were married, so Laci wanted to be at a healthy weight… it seemed her heavier eating had a different cause.

Laci explained. “We just had the appointment two days ago, we’re” She looked up to Santiago, eyes sparkling. “We’re having a boy.”

“Holy shit, Lace…” Frankie mutters, smiling. “That’s amazing guys. You got a name picked out yet?”

“Not totally.” Laci sighs. “We had one for a girl. We liked Juliette Josephina”

"Juliette is French,  Josephina is Spanish.” Santi adds.

“But we can’t figure out a boy's name.”

Santiago explains that the middle name is going to Antonio, after Laci’s late brother, Antoni. “So we just need a first name. Something, Antonio, Garcia.”

The shift in Laci’s body language and facial expression was clear. She looked confused, and Will heard Lore whisper, “Oh no.”

Santi was obvious to the shift until Laci turned to look up at him. “Garcia?”

He paused at that, looking at his fiance. “Yeah… Garcia. That’s my last name, munequita.” He jokes and gently nudges her, but Laci looks irritated, scooting away. Will caught Frankie’s eyes.

“I’m the last of my family’s name, baby. I don’t want it to die with me.”

Santi looked more confused, but also there was a slight edge to his voice. “Well, if you remember, I’m the last of my family too.” That was a mistake. Laci always remembered Santi’s dead family the same she did hers. The glare on Laci’s face showed she took that personal, but Santi didn’t stop. “They won’t even let us put a different last name than ours on his birth certificate, so I don’t really know what you’re talking about.”

Laci looked confused again, but when Lorelei sucked in a breath, Will turned to her for clarification while the couple had a stare-down.

Lorelei whispered. “I think Santi thought she was taking his last name…”

Oh fucking hell.

When the realization hit Laci, it showed on her face like all her emotions did. “I’m not taking your last name, Santiago...”

Everyone heard Jana groan and flop her head on the table. “Man, I wish I could drink.”

This time, Lorelei turned to Will, confused. Will clarifies. “She only calls him by his full name if she’s mad, or really um… frisky. So unless they are about to go to the unisex bathroom, it’s gonna be a long night.”

Ben stood up. “I’m getting drinks. Anyone else here suddenly pregnant or do you guys want a round?”

“The last thing you need is another drink” Alice chastizes, making Laci turn away from her brewing fight.

Laci. “Another? Ben, are you already drunk?”

Alice. “Mind your business.”

Santi. “Hey! Don’t talk to her like that!”

Ben. “Oh my god, shut the hell up, Garcia. Go figure why your fiance doesn’t want to marry you so badly she doesn’t want you last name.”

Frankie. “Ben!” But Ben was already walking to flag down a bartender, stumbling. Will began to stand, but Lorelei pulled him back. 

Santi turned to Laci, a sad, dejected look on his face. “You don’t want to marry me?”

Jana. “Don’t listen to Ben, Santito, he doesn’t know shit.”

Alice huffs.

Laci. “Of course I want to marry you! You’re the love of my life and the father of my son, I adore you, but Santiago, how could you just assume I’d take your name?”

Santi. “Because! Well… uh- well because-”

Laci. “Because I’m a woman and you’re a man? Santiago, you’ve never forced me into gender rolls-”

Santi. “Please stop calling me that.”

Laci. “You don’t listen to me!”

Santi took her hands, pulling her close with a desperate look in his eyes. He speaks quietly. “Lace, baby, I know you’re going through something right now, and the pregnancy has a lot of hormones-”

For the third time, Will and Frankie looked at each other. Rookie mistake.

Laci was not thrilled, called out Santi’s invalidating words and the couple continued going back and forth. Alice got up and joined Ben at the bar doing shots while the two couples left sat and relative quiet and drank their water and ate their food.

When Ben came back, him and Alice were drunk, handing out shots to Will, Frankie and Santi.

Frankie frowned. “Ben, you know I don’t drink.”

“Oh, right.” The blonde boy laughed, as if alcoholism didn’t nearly kill both of them. Ben grabbed the shot and took it before Frankie could stop him. Santi took his shot, and Will slid his to Santi.

Ben turned to Will, defensive. “What’s your problem?”

“I’m just not drinking is all.”

“Got something to do with the fact you have the same pills as Laci in your bathroom?”

A hush fell over the room, everyone turning to Will. They weren’t supposed to find out about that. 

“Will?” Laci’s small voice spoke through the surrounding voices of the bar. “Are you on prozac?”

Will sighs, but he feels Lorelei’s hand on his, and she whispers that he doesn’t have to talk about it. He knows if he doesn’t want to, she’d help change the subject or make an exit. But he decides he wants to. Laci, Jana and Frankie are so open about their struggles, he could open up just a little.

“I was diagnosed with Obsssive Compulsive Disorder recently and I started medication for it, and I’m back in therapy more regularly.” He spoke calmly, smooth. “It’s really not a big deal, I’m managing it, and Lore.” Will smiles at her fondly. “Is helping me.”

Ben watched him as he talked, still very drunk. “Well I guess this explains a lot.”

“Yeah, it really does. And it’s been nice getting help.”

“Why are you on prozac though? Isn’t it an anti-depressant” He asks.

“Prozac helps with OCD too”

“Doesn’t it, like... Kill your sex drive.”

Frankie smacks his palm to his face and Will sighs again.

“I’m not talking about this with you, especially not here.”

“Hey!” Ben raised his hands defensively. “Don’t get mad at me because you need pills”

Will rolls his eyes. “You literally are supposed to be on adderall”

Lorelei claps her hands together, attempting to change the subject. “Jana, Laci, how many weeks are you two then?”

Jana took the opportunity to distract the brothers. “I’m 10 weeks.” She turned to Laci. “Did you guys did the blood test to find out the sex earlier?”

Laci shook her head, smiling a bit again although avoidant of Santi’s touch. “Um… no, I’m actually 20 weeks.”

Everyone turned to gape at her. “Lace! Shit, how the hell did you hide it?” Jana looked at her stomach. She had a little bit of a stomach, but nothing that screamed pregnant.

Laci’s face fell. “Um… Well he’s um… we think he’s kinda small…” The pink in her cheeks deepens.

Alice speaks. “Are you not eating?”

“No! Of course I am! It’s just hard-”

“How is it hard, just eat-”

Santi sits up at that, defending his fiance. “Laci is doing everything possible to take care of our son. We got plenty of medical professionals, so we don’t need your input.”

Laci smiles at him again, then she gets more serious as she speaks quietly. “We wanted to keep it a secret as long as we could. I was cleared to try for a baby medically, but um… well…” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Santi whispers that she doesn’t have to explain anything, but Laci wants to. “I miscarried… before.” She emphasized the before, and Will understood it was in captivity. Santi extended a hand, and Laci took it this time. “So we wanted to wait. But everything looked good at the last ultrasound, just small. But the doctor said there was no need to worry.”

Will saw Santi squeeze Laci’s hand, and smiled. No matter the what, Santi had her back. “How long have you known?”

She looked fondly at the man who’d become like an older brother to her, someone who reminded her so much of Antoni. Antoni was tall, blond and broad too. They looked nothing alike, save for the blonde hair, but Laci liked how safe she felt with her brother. She was always shy and sensitive, even as a child. Making friends was hard for her, and she was always a little strange. Antoni was her defense. No one wanted to mess with his little sister, no matter her awkwardness and occasional meltdowns.

 “A few days after the beach trip, but before the funeral. That’s why I wasn’t feeling good and left early. I was a little worried I’d played too hard at the beach.” Laci laughed a little. “Like when I fell off your shoulders.”

“I’ll be honest.” Ben said, still avoiding looking at Laci. “Until I saw Lore swimming that day, I thought pregnant women couldn’t swim.”

Will laughed as she saw Jana close her eyes, take a deep breath, and turn to him with a smile. “Pardon me, Benny boy?” She giggled.

Benny raised his hands in defense, laughing. “Hey don’t blame me! I got 2000’s bible belt sex ed!”

Lorelei poked her boyfriend. “So did Will, but he certainly knows his way around a vagina.” Oh boy, did he.

“Oh trust me.” Ben chuckles. “So do I.”

Jana looks at Ben. “Benjamin, baby, are you registered to vote?”

“Sure am!”

She turned to the girls, laughing. “This is why we gotta vote, ladies! Men will know absolutely nothing about women’s bodies and then make choices on our reproductive rights!”

“Don’t look at me! I voted blue!”

But Will saw right away this was not something Alice knew. She turned to him. “You vote democrat?”

Ben’s face fell. Instantly he looked panicked. “Well… I mean the last election… 2020 was a weird time…” He seemed to try to backtrack. Will watched carefully, trying to focus on Lorelei’s hand squeezing him in time. He counted the squeezes of her hand to calm himself, trying to not butt in right away. Part of Will’s therapy was learning he didn’t have to carry everything on his shoulders, and he didn’t have to step in for every little squabble within his family. 

However, if Jana had one flaw, and she had very few, it would be an inability to backdown. She spoke to Alice, serious now. “Are you telling me you vote republican?”

Alice scoffed. “Yeah, me and most of the state of Florida. What, you thought I was some blue haired liberal? Unlike you, I got a real degree and didn’t walk out of college brainwashed.” She glared at Jana, and Frankie sat up. He wouldn’t insert himself where Jana didn’t want him, but if Alice disrespected her, he’d stand by his woman.

Jana laughed out loud, a short, clipped laugh that made Santi cringe. He’d been on the other end of that laugh before, and it was never good. “A real degree?”

“Yeah.” Jana challenged. “A real degree. Not some gender studies bullshit.”

“OOOHH! That’s what it is! You’re mad I have a bachelors in Women and Gender studies. Well, even if it wasn’t a real degree, which it is, I have a masters and am working on a doctorate.”

“Yeah, a doctorate program you flunked out of because you’re a crackhead!”

“HEY!” Frankie barked. “Don’t fucking talk to her like that!”

But Alice ignored him. “Where’s your daughter, Jana? How often do you see her?” She continued to talk despite Frankie and Santi telling her to shut the fuck up. Santi wouldn’t stand by anyone talking shit about Jana, especially her mothering of his goddaughter. “You’re perfectly happy to leave your child all day to work and leave her at a fucking day or have her father babysit him while you try to girlboss your way through the corporate ladder.”

“Corporate ladder?” Jana gawks. “I work at a non-profit! Don’t fucking dare act like I’m some cold hearted corporate woman in a hallmark movie spending hours in an office over time with my family when I am trying to help homeless youth-”

“You're spreading an agenda!”

There was silence, a deadly calm as Jana processed what she said, eyebrows raised. “An… agenda… are you saying what I think you’re saying…”

Will took more breaths. Lorelei asked him if he needed to step out but he said no. He was being quiet for now, but he loved Jana with his whole heart and would stand by her too. He looked to Ben, hoping he’d fucking say something, hoping he’d choose Jana who he’s know for years, whose daughter he’s helped raise, who’d do fucking anything for him above Alice, but he knew it was futile. If he let Alice pull him away from Laci, from him, she had him completely.

Alice didn’t look at anyone other than Jana. “Yeah, the gay agenda. Homeless gay teens don’t need a shelter and hormones, they need to be sent home!”

“TO PARENTS THAT KICKED THEM OUT!”

“Parents have rights! I know the left likes to force being gay and trans on kids-”

“HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT WHEN YOU’RE DATING BEN!”

Everything was quiet, and Will felt like the life had been sucked out of the room. His chest tightened when the look on Alice’s face revealed what Will had wondered. 

Alice doesn’t know.

She looked confused. “Ben… isn’t gay…”

Jana, caught up in her anger didn’t catch up, even as Frankie whispered her name. “Yeah, okay, he’s bi, same difference but-”

Jana was irrelevant now, turning to face a wide-eyed Ben. “Benny, what the fuck is she talking about.”

Will didn’t know what was going on, what was happening, but he recognized something in Ben. Fear. “Ben, hey, let’s step out-” He stood, wanting to separate Ben from what was happening, but Ben shrugged him off.

“Fuck off! I’m not gay! Or bi, or- or any of that!”

A tiny voice whispered sadly. “Benny…” Laci’s eyes filled with sadness, a sadness Will felt in his own chest as he watched his brother crawl back into the closet after only just being out.

Then, Jana realized what she did, gasping and covering her mouth. Frankie put a reassuring hand on her thigh, but watched the scene unfold in front of him. Jana didn’t mean to out Ben, she had assumed Alice knew.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Ben?” Alice spat, disgust in her voice as she looked him over.

“Baby, no, it’s not like that! It was, I went through a phase...”

Laci looked desperately at the man who used to be her best friend, not understand how he could want to be with someone who didn’t love him as he was… but somehow, she also got it. Before Santi, Lacina was so desperate for love, for affection, she took it wherever she could find it, even if that came with drugs and abuse and living on streets sometimes. It didn’t matter to her. She took the love she thought she deserved. Now, now she knows she deserves nothing less than Santi, in all his adoration. How could Ben not understand he deserved so much more than Alice? He deserved to be loved wholly and completely

“Benny, stop” She said, tearing up.

But Ben snapped at her. “Stay the fuck out of this!” He yelled with a glare, and winced as Santiago stood up quickly out of his chair. 

“Apoligize to her, you fucking dickhe-”

“Santi STOP!” Laci yelled, crying, then turning back to Benny even as her body was shaking with anxiety. She was going to get her words out, even if she had to sign them. Benny was the one who taught her and Santi, after all. “Benny, don’t do this-”

“Laci, just stop talking-”

“I don’t understand! I don’t understand why you let her talk to you like this, why you let her do this to you! You used to be my best friend and now you don’t even talk you me! How are you supposed to be my best man when we havn’t spoken in months!”

“Maybe I don’t want to be in your fucking wedding!”

Around them every person in her group had something to say to Ben: Will, Lorelei, Santi, Jana, Frankie, but Laci only saw Ben, the anger in him as her broke her heart.

“I WANTED YOU TO BE MY SON’S GODFATHER, BEN! I WANTED YOU TO BE THERE AS HE GOT BAPTIZED!”

Santi was momentarily distracted, looking at her confused. “Baptized?”

But Laci and Ben ignored him. “Well I don’t! And I don’t want to fucking talk to you!” Ben got up, nearly falling over as he stormed away. Will tried to follow after him, but Ben shouted at him to go away. Alice followed after.

Laci was shaking. Jana looked guilt stricken as she covered her face with her hands, taking deep breaths as Frankie soothed her, telling her she’s an amazing mom and doing amazing work. Lorelei stood by Will, holding his hands and guiding him through breathing exercises. Santi was knelt at Laci’s side, holding her as she cried. 

“You did amazing, munequita, I’m so proud of you.”

After a few moments, her body tensed, moving away from him. When Santi sensed she didn’t want her touch, he let go.

“I want our baby baptized, Santi. We’re baptizing him.” She mutters, sounding angry.

Santi blinked at her. “I- baby, can we talk about this?”

“What’s there to talk about? We were both raised catholic.” She was avoidant, not looking at him or anyone, just staring at the floor, frowning. It was so strange for Will to see her like this, for her to be so closed off and angry as Santi attempted to communicate calmly. Santi is not known to be level headed in these situations. 

Santi took a breath, considering his words carefully as he tried to open up dialoge. “Lacina, you know, you know I would do anything for you-”

“So let me have this!”

He blinked at her yelling, clearly hurt, but he and Laci had always communicated before and he didn’t want to stop now. “But you can’t just make these choices for our son without asking me. We don’t go to church, Lace. I’m not saying we can’t baptize him, if it’s important to you of course we can but… But Lace, that’s something we need to decide together.”

Suddenly, she turned to her fiance, glaring at him. “I don’t need to ask your permission about my baby, Santiago!” She spat as she stood up, and Santiago stood with her.

Despite his hurt, he spoke calmly towards her. Santi never raised his voice to her. “Our baby, Laci. Our baby.”

“Whatever.” Laci shook her head, walking away. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

Santi began to walk after her, knowing she can’t be alone in public, but to his surprise she shouted at him to leave her alone.

*

Laci’s face burned with embarrassment and tears as she tried to avoid eye contact with people in the bar. She was radiating anger, and right now it was directed at Santi but she knew that’s just because he was the easier target. It’s easier than admitting how badly Benny hurt her. He was her best friend, he was the first person she spoke to when the others rescued her and the first person to treat her normal. While the others talked to her like a scared wet cat, he would come over and put on Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Santi tried to put on the show recently, knowing how much she missed watching it with him, but it just made Laci cry.

She missed him, and she hated the person she’d become recently. She was angry, all the time and she took it out on Santi… her loving, wonderful fiance. Maybe she was wrong, maybe she didn’t deserve him. Maybe she deserved what she had gotten before, the love that hit her, got her addicted, sold her. Santi deserved better.

As she passed a hallway, she heard Ben’s voice and couldn’t help but look up. What she saw… it made a lot of things clear. 

Alice and Ben were arguing, but that wasn’t unusual. What struck her, what compelled her to keep watching was how scared he looked. And then it happened.

Alice threw a punch, and right away Laci knew it wasn’t the first time. He barely reacted. Instead, Ben just stood there, letting him hit her. Despite everything she endured, despite her PTSD, her fear, despite the height Alice had on her and the violence she wasn’t afraid to enact on someone over a foot taller than Laci was, Laci did not hesitate. She ran up to them, placing herself in front of Ben to block him from Alice’s blows.

Alice looked enraged, and Laci felt Ben’s arm on her trying to move her away. “Lace, please, go.”

“No!” She turned slightly to bed to see his saddened and worried face, desperate to get her away from Alice, but she didn’t budge.

Alice glared at the small woman. “Mind your business!”

“He is my business! I don’t care how much he hates me, he’s still my friend and you don’t get to hurt him!”

“Oh yeah, your friend.” Alice said, disbelievingly. 

“Yes, Alice, my friend! I don’t want him! He and I had a whole year before you showed up, months before I was dating Santi for us to date if we wanted to but we don’t! I don’t want him like that! I’m engaged to a wonderful man and I had hoped that Ben would find someone to be happy with but instead it’s YOU.”

Alice crossed her arms. “Maybe it’s not you I need to be worried about, maybe it’s Santi.”

Laci felt more confused than ever. “You are so insecure! Santi is his friend!”

Ben saw it coming before Laci did and tried to move her out of the way. It wasn’t fast enough, and between Ben moving her and Alice’s swing, Laci was knocked to the ground.

*

Santi went to follow her after a few minutes, just in case she ran into trouble again in the halls. She was angry, and she hurt his feelings, but he worried she’d calm down and become afraid. He never wanted her to feel afraid, never again. He just wanted to talk to her, he wanted to sit down and talk without it becoming a fight. The baptism wasn’t the issue. Of course he’d agree to that. Hell, they could go to mass every week and begin practicing if that’s what she wanted. He knew she still prayed sometimes. Whatever she wanted was hers, he always said that… and maybe that’s where he should have communicated.

 It wasn’t that his priorities changed when she told him she was pregnant, it was that they grew. Laci had been his number one for a year and half, everything was for her. Next came Frankie, then the rest of his family: Jana, Ben, Will, Rosie, in no order. Now, however, he had his son to think of, and Laci and him couldn’t make choices on their own, not regarding him. It had to be a family choice.

Santi didn’t see it happen very clearly. He barely saw it at all. All he knew was Ben moved, and now Laci was on the floor with a bloody lip. Santi was triggered back to that day so long ago the day he found her tied up in a basement with that cut on her forehead, bleeding. Now she was bleeding again, because he didn’t protect her. He saw red.

“YOU’RE A FUCKING DEADMAN, MILLER!”

*

Lorelei was just behind him. She told Will to sit there with Frankie and Jana and she’d check in on everyone else, knowing Will needed to calm down. When she heard Santi’s threat, it didn’t matter what had happened, she knew she had to get between Santi and the man who she knew was her future brother-in-law.

Before Santiago could swing, all 5’3 of Lorelei stood between the two men, Santi’s fist pulled back.

“Lorelei, move, now.” He said, fury in his voice indicating he was just barely holding on to his restraint. 

“No! You need to cool down, Garcia!” She’d faced down Santi once before, stared at the barrel of his gun. She wasn’t afraid of his fist. She didn’t think Santi would hurt her, but she’d heard and seen what he had done to people who’ve harmed Laci before. She wasn’t sure if she was enough to stop that explosion.

“MOVE!”

“Or what!? You’ll hit a pregnant woman?” Lorelei challenged.

Santi scoffed at that in disgust. “No! I’m not Ben”

That took Lorelei by surprise and she looked to Laci. The girl was frozen, clearly compartmentalizing as she sat on the floor, her pink dress staining with blood dripping from her mouth. If Ben did that to the poor girl half his size, Lorelei was going to beat his ass herself. But she’d broken up enough ER fights to know that one cannot simply go off the word of one person. Ben, however, was not denying anything as Alice stood behind him.

“I’m not moving until you calm the fuck-”

Before she had a chance to stop it, she heard Jana yell a warning to Santi but it was too late. Will yanked Santi back and threw him against the wall, wrapping his hands around his neck. He wasn’t choking him, but he easily could.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM!” He bellowed, loud and angry.

Santi didn’t back down, even knowing what Will was capable of and that he used to have blackouts.

“Ben hit Laci!”

Will turned to see Laci, Jana knelt beside her, holding her comfortably while Frankie stayed close to them both in the chaos, and anger at his brother surged, but that wasn’t the point. Santi was not the arbitrator of justice, not to Ben and certainly not to Lorelei.

“How FUCKING DARE YOU raise your hand to her!” His fist tightened, just a bit. 

“I WASN’T GOING TO HIT LORELEI! Jesus! I’m gonna beat Ben’s ass, and yours if you don’t move!”

Frankie walked to them, trying to pull Will away. He recognized that white-hot anger, and he sympathized with both of them. If someone put their hands on or raised a fist to Jana, he’d feel the same. But someone needed to be the voice of reason before they killed each other.

“You’re not beating anyone’s ass, Pope, and you fucking know it.” He placed a hand on his shoulder. “Will could fucking fold you.”

“HE HIT HER!” 

“William.” Lorelei spoke softly, her hands sliding over Will’s. The backs of her fingers were on Santi’s neck and she could feel his rapid pulse. “William, baby, you need to let him go.”

Will took a breath. “But he-”

“I know, baby. I know. But he didn’t touch me, and you know damn well he wasn’t going too.”

Loosening his gasp, Santi started to say something but Lorelei shushed him. “You understand where he’s coming from, right? His pregnant fiance is bleeding, you understand why he’s so angry.”

He did. He got it. It’s the ame anger he felt when he saw Santi’s fist raised to Lore, but she was right. He was never going to hit her, and certainly not 8 months pregnant. Santi wasn’t like that. He let go, still fuming, but also confused. Benny had been a prick lately, a fucking dumbass, but he’d never been the type to hit a woman. Every bar fight he was in was with men. 

Ben protected women. Benny loved Laci, he knew he did. Why would he hurt her? Laci was scared silent, going nonverbal from the shock and barely looked like she was mentally here. She looked at the floor, eyes glassy as she sat on Jana’s lap. Jana held her tightly, giving her the pressure she needed to hopefully prevent a panic attack. Hell, Will might kill Ben himself. 

When he let go and stepped back, he saw Santi make a move to go at Ben again who ws stand silently to the side, but Frankie’s hand on his chest held him in place.

“You got nothing to say, Ben?!” He shouted, the words echoing off the walls of the short hall. “You fucking coward! So miserable in your own life you take it out on someone whose loved you un-fucking-conditionally despite everything! FUCK YOU!”

Jana spoke from where she held Laci tightly. The blonde girl was in shock, no even crying like she normally does. “Santi!” She called him to look down. “Your girl needs you.” 

When Santi turned and saw his precious fiance on the floor, bleeding, his heart broke. He needed to take her to the hospital, he needed to take care of her. Laci didn’t want Benny hurt. Laci’s defended Ben to him before, she loves him. That’s not what she wants. Right now, he recognized the look in her eyes… She needed him to be present.

Santi pushed past Frankie’s hold and knelt down beside her, his touch careful on her hands and his soft. “Hey, Miss Lacina.” He said with a gentle smile. “It’s just me, Santi. I’m gonna take you to the hospital, okay?”

She gave the tiniest nod, so he continued. “I’m gonna pick you up, and I’m gonna be very, very careful. Does anything hurt?”

She signed ‘my face’

He nodded. “Yeah, I Bet it does, princess.”

Santi scoops her up in his strong arms, Jana rescinding her responsibly into capable hands. Laci wrapped her arms around his neck and legs around his middle, dissociating but knowing him. She trusted in his voice, his smell, his touch even when she knew nothing else. Next, Frankie bent down and slung an arm around Jana’s middle to help her up. 

Santi turned to give one final word to Ben, holding Laci up under her bottom and pointing his non dominant hand at Ben. “Don’t come to the wedding, and don’t you ever come near my wife and child again.”

“Santi.” Frankie nudged Santi along, arm still around Jana. Frankie shot one last look back to Ben, worried, and left with the others. Now, Lorelei couldn’t understand sign language outside of some basics she’d learned, but she could recognize it. It was subtle, like she was whispering to Ben. Lorelei saw Ben nod, and then she was gone.

The two couples were left, Lorelei kept holding Will’s hand, knowing he needed it as he turned around to face Ben, angry. He’d protect Ben from Santiago, but she knew he was damn pissed about him hurting Laci.

“What. The fuck. Was that.” Will seethed at his younger brother.

Alice looked up at Ben and mouthed something to him that Will and Lorelei couldn’t read. 

Ben hesitated, but looked rapidly between Lorelei and Will before becoming avoidant. “Nothing.” He muttered and tried to walk away.

“No!” Will held out a hand, stopping him. “Did you hit her?! Did you actually knock a pregrant women, Laci of all fucking people, to the fucking floor? Jesus Ben! We thought you were better than that!”

Grabbing Alice’s hand, he shoved past Will. “Fuck off.”

“THIS WHAT YOU WANT, BEN? TO HURT WOMEN?” Will shouted, starting after him, but Lorelei held him back. “YOU WANNA BE DAD, NOW?”

Lorelei watched Ben and Alice leave, but somehow, she couldn’t believe this was the full story. Ben was not like that. Her intuition said something was wrong.

*

It was a few hours later. Lorelei and Will were up watching I love Lucy, Lore between Will’s legs on the couch. Despite being horny as hell, Lorelei could read a room and did not initiate. So, she simply laid with him and tried not to squirm. It was, frankly, hot seeing Will defend her like that, knowing that he’d do anything for her and Chloe. Seeing his throw Santi up against the wall for even looking like he might hurt her… goddamn…

“You're horny, aren’t you?” His voice interrupted her thoughts.

“Goddamn it. Am I that predictable?”

He chuckles. It was nice to hear him laugh after tonight. “A little. But mostly, it was kinda hot watching you stand up to Santi like that. Remember the day you first met him?” 

“How could I forget.” She can feel him laugh, then he sighs.

“I’m supposed to be in his wedding in two weeks. I don’t know how we get past that.”

“He told Ben to stay away, not you.”

“But I almost choked him out Lore…” Will groaned, feeling ashamed of his actions. 

“You did it to protect me and Ben, Santi will understand. And he was doing what he did to defend Laci. I think you both can understand each other.”

A brief pause. “I just can’t believe he did that… To Laci of all people, christ, that girls been through enough.”

“Yeah… and god damn, that whole part before?” She shook her head. “Shit show. Bet Jana feels awful.”

“She didn’t mean to. Ben’s been out for a while, a last to everyone except our family. She just assumed his long term girlfriend would know.”

Lorelei flopped her head back on Will’s chest. “Watching him walk himself back into the closet… that was hard to watch.”

“Don’t I know it…”

She turned to look up at him. “You doing okay, baby? As good as you can?”

He sighed “Yeah… looks like the meds are working, at least a little.” Will kissed her temple, his hands slowly started to caress her sensitive breasts.

“Mmmmmmm” She moaned, but made her best attempt at making him not feel like has too. “We don’t gotta do nothing just because I’m horny, babe. You had a bad night.”

Will kissed her neck. “Just wanna give you one on my fingers. Get my mind off things.”

Lorelei smiled. She wasn’t going to protest if he really wanted too. “Okay.” She relaxed into him as he slid his hands into her pj pants.

It was just started to get good when his phone rang, and she groaned.

“I’m gonna ignore it.” He promised, but the strain in his voice told her he wanted to answer.

“Go ahead, answer it. We can pick up later.” She pulled his hands out of his pants. It could be a number of people, including but not limited to the girl who took a fall in her second trimester and had to go to the ER. Lorelei remembered how scary that was for her when she fell.

Will pulled his hand out of her pants, still wet with her slick and grabbed his phone.

It was Santi. He sighed. He wanted to start with ‘what the fuck do you want’ but there was a more important issue. “How’s Laci and the baby?”

‘Their fine. Laci’s um… startled. Isn’t talking yet. But they are fine. She’s sleeping right now. She was… she was able to sign, though and… well she explained what happened. Ben tell you anything?’

Will looked to Lorelei who was listening in. “No, he just um… walked away.”

They could both hear him sigh loudly over the phone. ‘Listen man, we gotta talk.’

****************

:((((((((((((((((( BENNNYYYYYYYYYY

Tell me all your thoughts! Santi and laci fighting, jana and alice, etc etc etc

Laci is largely meant to be in the wrong here, but she’s spent a lot of chapters of several series being “perfect” and now she’s going through this plus pregnancy, Alice’s bullying and losing Ben, she’s not acting like herself.

And Ben…. Oh Ben.

I started cry writing Ben and laci fighting, Ben putting himself back in the closet broke my queer heart

@pimosworld @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @whatthefishh @missdictatorme @milkymoon2483 @poeedameronn @itspdameronthings @miraclesabound @babymills16 @rayslittlekitten @kirsteng42

#William miller #will ironhead miller #triple frontier #William miller x oc #William miller smut #william miller angst #William miller comfort #fem oc #triple frontier fanfiction #william miller fanfiction #william ironhead miller #will miller fanfiction #charlie hunnam #charlie hunnam smut

[banamine-bananime]

sometimes i pace around gremlin-like and think about grimmons and how the best things about them that make them such a thematically good pair are on a razor-thin border from being the worst things that could make them Super Not Good For Each Other because sometimes they get so up their own asses and are so mean to each other and know how to make it hurt.

Do you know what i mean??? do other people think about this as much as i do. anyways i'm not going to explain myself better than that incoherent run-on sentence because my thesis is this long-ass fanmix about them letting their demons win despite loving each other a lot and having to break up to ~*work on themselves*~.

this tracklist with notes is in order from them being kind-of-mostly-together but dealing with their own issues individually instead of together to looking like they're maybe growing and starting to deal healthily and going to work... but not enough to increasing frustration with the relationship to breaking up to starting to get over it. i declare that they figure their shit out on their own and get back together when they're in a healthier place but this playlist is just the angsty part. spotify link and my artistique creative vision below the cut.

Embarrassingly specific Grimmons breakup fanmix

Alien Blues - each @ the other, wanting Officially More Than Friendship but afraid to commit and fuck it up

Was it the best you ever had?/Was it the worst? You'd never know/I try to tell you what I think and play it off like it's a joke

Surface Pressure - Grif issues, flashback to teenhood edition

Pressure like a drip, drip, drip that'll never stop, whoa/Pressure that'll tip, tip, tip 'til you just go pop, whoa, oh, oh/Give it to your sister, it doesn't hurt, and/See if she can handle every family burden/Watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks, no mistakes/But wait, if I could shake the crushing weight of expectations/Would that free some room up for joy or relaxation, or simple pleasure?

Oldest - Grif issues

But I hid you in my room/When mom and dad were fighting/Back when we were young/Wouldn't let you hear too much/Yeah, I'm good at that stuff/Maybe growing up too fast/Was the only choice I had

When I Grow Up - Grif issues (fantasizing about getting away from home, and before being crushed into apathy and disillusionment that Actually Everywhere Sucks Just As Much by the military)

When I grow up/Just because you find that life's not fair/It doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it/If you always take it on the chin and wear it/Nothing will change

print(“i’m so tired”) - Grif issues

'Cause I'm so tired of being told that I can never want more/And I'm so tired of always fighting this mental war/When the cards are stacked against you, what can you really do?

this is how i learn to say no - Grif issues ("actually fuck everyone nothing matters and i can do what i want" realization era)

Fuck the apologies/Done being sorry for wanting the things that I want/I broke my back carrying baggage /For strangers who only ever did me wrong

I Wanna Be Software - Simmons issues

I wanna be, wanna be software/What will you find?/You can write me, you can design/You can make me however you like

Are You Satisfied - Simmons issues

My problem, it's my problem/That I never am happy/It's my problem, it's my problem/On how fast I will succeed/They say I'm a control freak/Driven by a greed to succeed

Grif issues

Cause it's my problem if I want to pack up and run away/It's my business if I feel the need to smoke and drink and sway/It's my problem, it's my problem if I feel the need to hide/And it's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die

Rät - Simmons issues (wanting validation from and consequent idealization of all the wrong dads places but eventually starting to say Fuck That)

I come from scientists and atheists and White men who kill God/They make technology high quality complex physiological/Experiments and sacrilege in the name of public good/They taught me everything/Just like a daddy should/And you were beautiful and vulnerable/And power and success/God damn I fell for you your flamethrowers/Your tunnels and your tech/I studied code because I wanted/To do something great like you/And the real tragedy is half of it was true

The Other Side of Paradise - Grif @ Simmons

I wish you could see the wicked truth/Caught up in a rush, it's killing you/Screaming at the sun, you blow into/Curled up in a grip when we were us/Fingers in a fist like you might run

this is how i learn to say no - Simmons (starting to deal with) issues (and grow a backbone)

Was it more appeasing when I was just pleasing?/This is how I learn to say no/Take your pretty words and go choke 

Cigarette Ahegao - Grif @ Simmons, semi-healthy attempt at dealing with issues and growth by talking about getting The Fuck Out of Here together

Someday, I'll leave the country/I hope to have you with me/Get wrecked on becherovka/Get fucked on smoke and wine/Someday, I'll have my own life/I'll leave this all behind

I Can’t Handle Change - their issues (shared by all of BGC tbh) getting in the way

Hangin' out where I don't belong is nothing new to me/I get tired, and I get sick, and then I lose the strength to leave/I can't handle change/I can't handle change

brutal - Simmons letting his issues get in the way

I'm so insecure, I think/That I'll die before I drink/And I'm so caught up in the news/Of who likes me, and who hates you

i need to be alone. - Grif letting his issues get in the way

I'm waiting for something to change/'Cause everyday just feels the same/It's getting harder to exist/I don't want to feel like this/I'm wasting my life on pointless things/I sometimes think/When does life begin

The Giver - each being a terrible boyfriend

He turns around when you're naked/Says "We should be friends" while you're changing/You nod, half-dressed, he says "It's for the best"

Problems - each @ the other while togetherish

Wonder why, when we both got problems/Why won't you help me solve them?/I love you, but you don't and this is how I cope

Daddy Issues - each @ the other for mistreating them instead of dealing with their own issues but 98% Grif @ Simmons because:

If you don't sort your daddy issues/I will up and leave you/And no one else will want you 

Between My Teeth - each @ the other pre-breakup

I’m too broken to fix you too/I admit it, I admit it/Oh! Please don’t lean on me/Cause I don’t want your heart between my teeth/I, I think I gotta leave

Sick of You - each @ the other during pre-breakup

I wish I never ever met you/Five years of mistakes I'll never undo/I'm not your medicine or your tool/Don't expect me to ever fix you, you, you, you/Every little thing always seems to be about you/Exercise your criticism then get mad when I'm through/You think your traumas don't affect a single person around you/I'm not your therapist or boyfriend, try and get the two confused

Miss You - each @ the other during breakup

I don't ever wanna see you/And I never wanna miss you again/One thing/When you're angry, you're a jerk/And then you treat me like I'm worth nothin

Oh No! - Simmons issues (and attempting to coach himself through the breakup with affirmations that he don’t need no friends)

I'm gonna live, I'm gonna fly/I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna die/I'm gonna live, I'm gonna fly/I'm gonna fail, gonna die, die, die, die

You’re So Vain - each @ the other, immediate post-breakup bitterness

You're so vain (you're so vain)/I bet you think this song is about you/Don't you don't you?

I Blocked Your Number - each @ the other trying to get over breakup and anger

Stop likin me on instagram/Stop textin me at 6 a.m./I blocked your number bitch

Hi, It’s Me - each @ themselves trying to get over breakup

When I'm with you I have amnesia, I'm weaker than before/My stupid brain thinks that I need you, I'm eager to hurt more

Feel Better - Grif’s post-breakup sads

Cause someone loved me, someone fuckin' loved me/All my filthy life I loved someone I barely knew/Goddamn it, I was worth something, I fuckin' learned something/And it felt better in my mouth than fresh warm food/I don't wanna feel better/No one's ever gonna love me like that again/I don't wanna get over you/I wanna sit with you in bed/I don't wanna feel better

Here - each, post-breakup sads

But honestly I'd rather be/Somewhere with my people we can kick it and just listen/To some music with the message (like we usually do)/And we'll discuss our big dreams/How we plan to take over the planet/Oh God, why am I here?

Hurt - each @ the other, post-breakup sads

I'm sorry if I hurt you/I'm sorry if it got that bad/I'm sorry I can't help you/Somebody should've had your back

Sweet Hibiscus Tea - each, post-breakup sads and Blood Gulch blues

You're already halfway out the door/And I've never looked so old/And I have never been so cold/And it is 85 degrees/I don't know what I need/There's lukewarm herbal mango sweet hibiscus tea/On the hot garbage pile in which I fucking sleep/The walls are empty it's so ugly I could/Burn the whole place down

Passive Aggressive - post-breakup bitterness

It took a week or two getting over you/But I love myself too much/To waste good years on bad love (waste good years on bad love)

Reflections - each @ the other, wishing the relationship had worked

I know you're sick/Hoping you fix whatever's broken/Ignorant bliss/And a few sips might be the potion/I tried to put it out for you to get/Could've, should've but you never did/Wish you wanted it a little bit/More but it's a chore for you to give

#grimmons #fanmix #rvb #red vs blue #dick simmons #dexter grif #alexa send post

[castielcommunism]

it’s frustrating that they never go anywhere with mary reading john’s journal in the show, because I think it would be the catalyst to a comprehensive re-evaluation of john’s role in her sons’ lives, and is probably the only thing that would get dean to properly question his relationship to his father.

like there’s a dual refusal to accept reality going on with mary and dean - mary doesn’t want to accept that her children are grown adults and that her absence destroyed their lives. it makes her feel powerless and incredibly guilty. and dean is using mary to displace all of his unexamined rage at his father. it’s a lot easier to be angry at his mom for dying than it is to get angry at his father for abusing and neglecting them for years, especially when mary seems hellbent on retreating into fantasy where her children are still babies. but mary reading john’s journal would undo both of those things - she would be confronted with the man her husband was and the things he did to their children as a result of her absence, and she would be able to recuperate some sense of agency in her own life by getting angry at this. she can’t undo the past and she can’t fix what happened, but she can be a zealous advocate for her children and rage against what their father did to them.

and dean would have no choice but to listen, because the only person he would hear any criticism of john from is his mom. she is an authority figure he respects and wants to listen to, and on top of that she’s on his side. like for the first time in his life he would feel fully empowered to admit that he was mistreated. because his mom is telling him that it’s okay to feel that. this isn’t even something he could let himself do with bobby, I think partially because bobby isn’t biological family and partially because mary feels like a much closer authority on the subject of their father, despite the fact that bobby actually knew him a lot better.

and hilariously I think this is how sam and mary would connect and form a relationship. like she wouldn’t be able to just walk into the room one day and say well I read john’s journal and your dad was an abusive asshole. if I’d had been there I wouldn’t have let any of that happen. because dean WOULD push back and it would probably cause a fight. a serious conversation about john would have to be a slow, uneven process of untangling what the fuck happened in their childhood, and sam would happily entertain his mom asking him questions. like she can’t get straight answers from dean because he wants to both protect his mom from the reality of their life AND he wants to protect his father from the wrath of his mother. but sam would absolutely have a frank and honest conversation with mary about their childhood (at least what parts he remembers). It would be painful and messy and enraging, but he would finally have someone who wants him to talk about what happened to him and his brother. and like I’m sure mary would resist some of this at first, too, because the reality of what john did is horrifying and accepting that means accepting some kind of responsibility for it, even if she didn’t actually do any of the abusing and would have prevented it had she seen it occurring.

but like eventually all three of them would arrive at a shared set of facts, which is that john was neglectful and abusive to his kids. dean would be given permission to be angry about it from someone he loves and respects, and he would even be allowed to give up responsibility for his own anger. mary started it, so he doesn’t have to drown himself in guilt and self-doubt over thinking his father was a shitty person. he’s being handed down this mercy by his mother. and sam would finally have someone fully on his side, allowing him to present his case and explain himself. he would be given absolution for all the fights he started with his father, and for the deep-seated self-disgust he felt for being “unclean”, not to mention john’s own disgust. and mary would finally be able to feel like she knows what’s going on, and that she can take control of some element of her family’s life. she can redeem herself to her own sons by being their champion, even if it’s thirty years too late. they can do this autopsy of their own family history together and move forward with the knowledge that what happened wasn’t okay.

#mary.txt #bro.txt #mary & dean #sam & dean #season 12 #meta