#dive into: ruby

[l2vedive]

RUBY (PSH).

PAIRING: park sunghoon x fem!reader

GENRES: includes smut (minors dni), sorta enemies with benefits, cheating (pls don't), university au, hints of fluff if you squint + in the end.

WARNINGS: graphic descriptions of smut (fingering, blowjob & swallowing cum), profanity, making out, cheating involved, hoon and yn has a weird set up but they hate each other i promise, mentions of jay, pet names (princess, good girl, baby, etc.), implied physical assault (yn punched hoon). if there's anything i missed, please lmk !!!

SYNOPSIS: in which sunghoon is annoying and you despise him because he makes your life difficult.

or; in which yn makes it up to sunghoon for punching him in the face during detention amongst other things.

WORD COUNT: 2730 words.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: i am so sorry for the months delay .. initially, i was taking a break from tumblr and then i got busy because of uni and other things + tumblr deleted like half of this in the drafts so i had to rewrite it 😭 BUT ANYWAYS , hooners i hope u enjoy bc this is for you !!!!!!!

TAGLIST: @help-i-cant-find-a-username @cherrybxmbby @fairyofhee @woozisnoots

You have done it.

And it was all because of stupid Park Sunghoon.

He infuriated you to your core and you can't even pinpoint the exact reason. But there were, in fact, a lot of reasons that annoyed you about Sunghoon. And maybe, just maybe, it was the way he kept throwing comments at you in class and the way you scowled at him before throwing the marker at his stupid face, or the way he constantly calls you those disgusting pet names and relishes in getting under your skin because he thinks your reactions are funny, or the way you had your knee in between his thighs the other day, threatening to cut his dick off if he ever bothered you again, only for you to be left fuming because he took one look at your threat as a cute challenge.

(Or maybe, it was that one time you kissed him in the dark at your boyfriend's birthday party and the way he was never going to let you live it down.)

You hated him, despised him, and absolutely fucking loathed him for existing and breathing the same air as you. Unfortunately today, your ego had just about enough to the point that it got both you and him in detention for "school violence" as the principal called it.

So now you're stuck here; trying to get the last of your homework done so you could go home and binge the entirety of Tomorrow on Netflix without the guilt of pending assignments lingering in the back of your head. The sound of a pen clicking over and over again against the wooden desk two tables away from where you are currently seated irritates you.

Your fingers grip the corners of your textbook, the page scrunching under your touch. You try to regain your composure. You let out a heavy sigh before plastering the best fake smile you could muster before turning to him. Sunghoon meets your eyes and he's already smiling, eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Please, will you stop making those noises," You weren't asking; it was a demand. "I am trying to get my work done. I don't know what the hell your deal is, Sunghoon, but you better stop it."

His lips curl into a smirk now. You feel like punching him again. "Yes, ma'am." He says while laying the pen down, flicking it and allowing it to roll off the table. Your eyes follow the object before they fly back to the boy, whose attention is now on some girl from a group of students who are also in detention. Typical Park Sunghoon , you think.

Feeling like he's some deranged vampire who has sucked every life energy out of your body, you huff yet again before stabbing your own pen into your braided hair twist before gathering your things, and heading out the library. You're loud. You're not exactly sure why you're slamming your hand or your book shut or deliberately taking out your frustrations on your school things but fuck detention, and definitely fuck Park Sunghoon. Your father could buy this school and his ass out in seconds anyway.

Sunghoon's eyes burn into you as you do this. You're aware and you want him to see it. Want him to see how infuriating his existence is to you. Want him to see how many alarms he sets off in your body and how all of them want you to hit him again. You do not miss the way his blurry figure gets up from his seat in your peripheral view, and that's when you know you got him.

It's only a few minutes later when you realise the thuds coming from your Prada loafers are the only ones resonating throughout the hallways of the academy. You stop for a bit, your mind debating whether you should look back, but alas, your body betrays you, turning you around. You immediately scan the floors and staircases for a glimpse of him, wondering if he's followed you out or if he's decided to leave too. He was there earlier, you could've sworn so.

Before you can gather your thoughts rationally, you find your heels dragging you back to the library, poking your head through the glass window and straining your neck in order to have a better look around the second you stop by the entrance. He's nowhere to be found.

"Looking for me, angel?"

You flinch, almost screaming before the realisation dawns on you that only one jackass would do this. God, help me , you thought. But because of the way you spun around to shove him for his piss behaviour, he swiftly garners the chance to pin your wrist above your head.

"Ew, don't touch me. I'm getting a cramp," Sunghoon chuckles as you yank your arm free from his grip.

"I don't bite, princess," You meet his eyes, drinking in the mischief that swirls around his dark eyes. "Unless you're into that."

Your breath hitches in your throat as you try to level it down. You hadn't noticed the way you've been holding in your breath. You've been in close proximity with him before so you don't understand why you're fighting the slow crawl of pink creeping up your cheeks. The arrogant smirk on his face doesn't falter for a second and you're already thinking of a haughty remark.

The realisation hits you like a truck when you catch up to the observation that anyone with half a brain would and could mistake you both as a couple with the way he suddenly inches closer, his hot breath fanning your skin. You gulp and you pray he didn't notice.

You were not about to show Park Sunghoon that he had some stupid effect on you. Over your dead fucking body.

You don’t know why you’re making it difficult for yourself honestly. There’s a way out for you, he hasn’t trapped you between him and the wall completely so you don’t know why you’re taking up his petty challenge and willingly allowing yourself to suffer.

“Aren’t you going to apologise to me, baby? You broke my face.” He feigns being hurt with his free hand caressing your cheek. You glare at him, swatting it away.

“All this trouble for an apology? Just say you’re obsessed with me and go.” You reply, inwardly cringing at the way your voice shook. Sunghoon shrugs and you decide that this isn’t worth your time anymore, and you knew that he wouldn’t bite back either. So you begin to walk away.

Park Sunghoon was full of shit and you knew it first hand.

Immediately, you feel a hand on your waist, pulling you and pinning you firmly back in place. You instinctively moan when you feel his knee prop up to your core, successfully trapping you. Your eyes widen when you realise and your hands fly up to your mouth. The boy towering over you grins, incredibly amused at the reaction you just made. Sunghoon switches his arm for the other, resting it on the wall next to your head. You were turning red. Hands curling into a fist with your fingernails digging crescent moons into your skin that were sure to bleed.

Sunghoon lowers his head down to the shell of your ear. “Look at you,” He says, huskily. His voice is low and you hate the way you can’t avoid the blooming pit in your stomach. "You always fall apart at the thought of me. You say you can't stand me but your body language says otherwise. What will Jay think of this when he finds out, hm?"

Your breath hitches in your throat as you stare him down. God, he’s so close he could kiss you and you might just let him. Might.

But you know you wouldn't. You're too stubborn to give in to your desires. You were always hellbent on not becoming like those stupid girls who looked like they were close to dropping their panties after Park Sunghoon gave them a smidge of his attention.

"Listen here, you prick," You grit your teeth as your fingers curl around his silk tie, yanking him to your eye level. "I don't know what sick game you're playing but you need to stay the hell away from me, Park."

"Scared you'll come crawling back for more?"

You snort. "As if."

"I'm not the one who just moaned at the mere contact of cold concrete against my skin and force,"

"True. But I'm not the one whining for a video call every night, am I?" There's something in him that flickers and you know you had the cards in your favour when you brought it up. Because now, Sunghoon's pulling you by your elbow and dragging you up the staircase leading towards the rooftop.

You don't get the chance to speak when he aggressively pushes you against the wall and pushes you down on your knees. You moan out of instinct, pain settling in and pleasure striking like lightning.

"Do you want us to get caught?" You run your hands further up his clothed thigh. Your fingers pass over his erection and to his fly.

"Maybe."

"God, I hate your ass."

Sunghoon stands over you while you undo his button, pull down the zipper, and tug his pants down about halfway. His eyes are fixated on you while you do this. "And I love yours."

Your eyes roll at his response but you appreciate it nonetheless. You can't help but think how pornographic your positions look like right now—clad in academy uniforms and all, while you get ready to give your annoying classmate the best blow of his life as if he didn't just give you three orgasms the other night. You prop yourself up a bit, leaning towards the erection that's straining through his boxer briefs. You kiss the head of his cock through the cotton. Sunghoon is sensitive, dick twitching upon your kiss, and your breath feels hot against all the fabric.

"YN…"

You pull his underwear down shamelessly, letting his erection free. You sigh with a bit of performance. "You know, it's kind of a shame," You say, "if I had only known that mouth of yours was good for something else other than pissing me off, I would've been better off with you."

"Was this why you kept looking for me the other day, angel? Finally bored with the boyfriend? I told you, princess—Fuck, I love your mouth—I already told you I was better," He fishes, and you lick a stripe up his shaft before flattening your tongue on the tip of his cock. "And I did make you cum more than he ever did during that night." He breathes.

You don't say anything else, slipping your mouth over the tip of his. Your tongue feels wet and so hot, swirling just around the head of Sunghoon's cock, pretty lips pressed against him. You pause to spit on your palm before beginning to work gentle strokes down his shaft. It's good, and for a little second, all he can think about is how he wants you to take him further into your warm, wet throat. You move slowly, your tongue almost teasing. The anticipation is intense.

"Hoon," you say as your hand works around his dick, massaging his balls occasionally. You stare up at him through your dark lashes, with those eyes you know that gets him going—and the boy's heart stops as you press another long kiss to his cock and say, "I like you like this. You look so pretty.”

You punctuate your words by taking him into your mouth, deeply—your tongue moving flat and firm against the underside of his shaft, hand squeezing the base of him. The feeling overwhelms him and he moans—well , it's a whimper, but the sound is honest.

You go down once, and take your mouth back off of him to say, "I’ve been thinking of us like this. In this same exact position."

Jesus Christ , Sunghoon thinks you’re out to kill him.

You speak some more, "Do you think about me like this?"

"Always," He manages as you flatten your tongue against the tip of his cock. Sunghoon heaves before you and you hum, loving the reaction—and to rile him up some more. A hand goes through your hair, strands falling from the makeshift bun you made with the pencil earlier, as you slide your mouth over his cock. Sunghoon doesn't have the words to articulate how good your mouth feels around him; how good you use your tongue while you move your head; how you're so hot, and how you want him. How you've been thinking about this—about him. His head's gone wild and it electrifies the slick heat of your lips, your tongue. Fuck , Sunghoon thinks. He's in heaven.

The ache in your knees begins to stir as you imagine the purples, blues, and greens forming bubbles of bruises on your flesh. A groan flies out of your lips when you lift one to move it aside, creating a gap between legs.

"You okay?" Sunghoon's voice rings in your ear and you think it's sweet that he asked.

"Don't worry about me, baby. I'm more than okay."

Your free hand, the one that's been caressing the boy's clothed thigh up and down, snakes away to disappear under your skirt. The slick noise that pokes out underneath almost makes Sunghoon choke. You're not wearing any panties.

Fuck—fuck, you're touching yourself.

"You're—ah—," he pants, and you look up at him. "Fuck. That's so fucking hot. Keep—keep touching yourself, princess. My good girl."

You moan around him, like you're really getting off on this, not letting up for a moment. He moans louder in return, just so you'll hear him, just so you'll keep touching herself. It’s hot. It’s so hot. You both don't even care anymore.

You rock against your own hand as you swallow his cock, messy and fast, and it's starting to overwhelm him in a way he desperately wants to give in to.

Before he can truly consider it, he tugs on your hair, and says, "YN—stop—, "

You meet his eyes, and there's a moment where he doesn't think you will. And he can't remember why he wanted you to.

But you do, sliding your mouth excruciatingly slowly off of his cock, your tongue feeling every inch of him on the way.

"Fuck." He shudders, missing your mouth badly as the cool air hits the spit drying on his cock. "You drive me crazy."

"I want you to cum for me," You whisper, and he hisses, still closer to the edge than he wants.

You're moving so relentlessly that it's hard for him to track the sound of your fingers rubbing your clit, so he tries to focus on the difficult task of cumming, instead of the distracting, maddening slick heat of your cunt.

Very quickly it becomes too much. Embracing the point of no return, he drives his hips up to meet up yours and groans the moment the head of his cock meets the back of your throat, loving the way you gag around him.

He comes so hard he can't think.

Sunghoon's digs his hands into your scalp and moans, head thrown back against the window, sweat sticking his hair to his neck as he loses himself inside your mouth. He loses count of the hot pulses of cum that rush through him.

You release him with a pop before licking another stripe up to the head and giving it a kiss. He tells you to open your mouth and you do, sticking out your tongue to show that you've swallowed all of him.

"That's my girl."

"I hope that was okay, though," You say after a while and he runs his thumb over your cheek, where your tears have dried.

Sunghoon curls down to kiss you, hard, and it's not enough. You sigh and you force yourself to stand, ignoring the pain on your knees, and shimmying up to his body. He clings to you, pressing his mouth into every part of you he can reach, as if he’s never been able to kiss you before. He wants to laugh with the feeling of just getting something he wants. And whether Sunghoon has realised it or not, he wants nothing else but you.

"More than okay. Don't you doubt it for a minute."

please like and reblog with feedback !!!

— please do not copy , translate or repost any of my works anywhere.

© l2vedive on tumblr

#enhypen hard hours #sunghoon hard hours #enhypen smut #park sunghoon smut #enhypen sunghoon smut #kpop smut #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen sunghoon imagines #heeseung smut #jay smut #sunghoon smut #jake smut #dive into: ruby #isa notes app

[lovingdabeessss]

Mini ramble cause I’m tired I’ll expand later probably

Blake and Weiss have trouble with their emotions because of their different kinds of abuse they’ve experienced but they still clearly have them, you know? They talk about them and they talk about it a lot their was a whole arc that was just them talking about their emotions very loudly at each other so having the emotions or expressing it doesn’t really bother them that much

or at least not in every environment, Yang and Ruby are the safest space they got they’ll fight each other to the death around them if they’d let them if you want to have unsavory emotions and unsavory words they’re the two people they’re both comfortable doing it around

It seems like they’re biggest issue with having negative emotions is how other people perceive them and how others react and putting up a front around others unless really comfortable

(What an incredible life changing experience it must’ve been to have that kinda safe space with people who care about you for no reason other then because they do and not for any ulterior motive after so long of not feeling like that to love someone so much you could safely hate them and they’d still ask you include you in ever conversation, it’s like that one measurement of love and comfort where if your kid complains and whines about things you make them do to you then they love you and think your safe to be around and if they’re silent and obedient and distant they think your not)

However with Yang and Ruby it’s not a front they’re not pretending to not feel the emotions they’re actually just not feeling them

They’re refusing to outright

Ruby doesn’t vent till she’s in a universe where GRIM DONT EXIST and then the emotions overwhelm her so much she DIES

Yang does let herself have negative emotions but ONLY anger which is controlled and specifically when she can take that kinda heat she expresses anger not only with the acknowledgment of the risk to herself but also often when other people are also already upset

Yangs semblance is clearly designed to make it easier for her to take hits for others this expression of anger goes along with the fact that it lights her on fire and makes her big and bright she’s making herself a bigger target

Cough cough not subtle metaphor cough cough YOU KNOW LIKE WHAT YOU DO AGAINST BEARS?!?! GOLDILOCKS!?!?!? Cough cough not subtle metaphor cough cough

(And Yang and Ruby will sometimes have breakdowns because of this where everything totally boils over and they have no way of dealing with it and they end up sobbing but even then they usually manage to do it in a closed off room)

Their lives have been centered completely around becoming huntresses and surviving through and killing grim it’s been their whole lives if the grim are attracted to negative emotions it doesn’t matter if you don’t show it on your face it’s GETTING you

To be a hunter you have to choose either:

1- go fucking crazy (all of the teachers at beacon for whatever reason)

2- be good enough at your job to be mentally ill (qrow)

3- DIE

So they just couldn’t feel shit cause they didn’t hav the skill level as children to allow that and survive

And obviously they do feel these things but it’s SOO repressed (Ruby I believe less so but it’s still beneath the surface so she’s good)

Blake and Weiss had a ton of shit to worry about but Blake was always more focused on other people as enemies and only had to personally worry about that after she joined the white fang and learned how to fight and I GENUINELY believe that the forest with Ruby was the first time Weiss’s isolated SKY CITY looking ass ever saw a real grim in person and not her sisters fake ones

And I think this is just really interesting because of how long it might’ve taken Yang and Ruby to realize the difference between their partners and them and why I think it might’ve led to interesting interactions but they’d probably never outright talk about it with them because it might lead to emotions

#rwby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #bumbleby #rwby bumbleby #ruby rose #weiss schnee #strq kids #strq sisters #strq family #huntsman culture deep dive here I come

[flame-cat]

Disco Elysium + Blue

The color blue represents both the sky and the sea and is associated with open spaces, freedom, intuition, imagination, inspiration, and sensitivity. Blue also represents meanings of depth, trust, loyalty, sincerity, wisdom, confidence, stability, faith, and intelligence.

#disco elysium #in the life #de meta #kim kitsuragi #harrier du bois #jean vicquemare #tommy le homme #ruby the instigator #i remembered 'blue heart' and that kims notebook is blue #so i went on a deep dive #there is. so much here to read into yall #this is just a smattering

[bestofmidi]

submitted by @381181 !!!

Sequenced by Joao *Johnnyz* Buaes [email protected]

original midi at https://www.vgmusic.com/music/console/nintendo/gba/PkmRS-Diving.mid

#midi #best of midi #go ichinose #diving #pokemon ruby and sapphire #2003 #fishmech

[fangswbenefits]

Next up: finishing this breeding kink oneshot from Astarion's POV.... and guys? I think you'll want to tune in for this one.....

#ruby rambles ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ #just saying...... #we're diving deep into his mind........ oof

[the-evil-pizza]

the embarrassment of forgetting to give the dance partner in a level 90 dungeon is immense and i want to bury myself in the sand thanks

#having people ask you ''dancer the partner'' is a call to go dive in the ruby sea and never come up #I FORGOR BECAUSE I SPAWNED IN LEVEL 50 DUNGEONS FOR MOST OF MY ROULETTES BUT STILL #return to fffourteen

[fieriframes]

[As I say goodbye to Ruby's arms. Although my heart is breaking. I will steal away out through your blinds. For soon you will be waking.]

#s28e06 pub grub #guy fieri #guyfieri #diners drive-ins and dives #goodbye #ruby #arms #heart #blinds

[clownkiwi]

WOW tonights an unmedicated night to be sure

#rubys clown thoughts #i mean i usually save my adderall for streams & school but im not in school rn and im still working on my stream poster #but also im watching youtube videos and i was on a wikipedia dive im very distracted LOL... #i think i'll make dinner too

[rubys-domain]

... i think i'm gonna pull for arlecchino actually...

#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo，ide yo !! #today i woke up and was suddenly hit in the face with the realization of how insanely attractive she is #it's weird why it's only hitting me just now when i finished act 4 like three days ago #way to kick in late，queerness. smh #anyway，pulling plans #still pulling for venti on main obviously #on the alt i just lost the 50/50 on the neuvillette banner #and i really only pulled on it because i got the hp sword super early and i don't need any of the 5 star weapons #and i figured i would benefit from his diving passive because i failed to get freminet in the previous banner #and i was just bored honestly #i'm exercising all the self-control i can muster on main. so it feels good to dump my primos onto whatever on the alt #but now i think i'm gonna save the guarantee i now have for arlecchino #i still have a shit ton of freemo sources on the alt so it doesn't matter if she comes home at hard pity #plus my alt is literally pyro central so she'll be right at home there #fingers crossed that sigewinne drops alongside her banner so i can get her too while i'm pulling #whether i pull for her on main or not will depend on her kit tho. my pyro dps needs are pretty much filled with lyney so idk #i really should just save my guaranteed on the alt for shenhe #but i'm BORED #and i still have thousands of untapped exploration freemos on the map so i'm not worried about being unable to get her #and who knows when the hell she's getting a rerun anyway. it could take months，and i'm not willing to sit on primos that long quite frankly #it would also be wiser to get furina because hydro archon and she's probably gonna be a broken support for all the pyros on my alt #but i really don't care for her honestly. she's interesting in the story，but not in a way that makes me want to pull for her as a character #maybe in a rerun after i reach the pulling for utility stage on that account #which i already kinda was considering i tried to pull for zhongli (sort of. who i really wanted was freminet) #idk where i was going with all of this. but yeah. those are the pulling plans #my freemo well is running a little dry on main tho. so i'm gonna redirect some of that pulling because i want to into the alt #ugh pulling for utility is boring tho #the only reason i'm so dead-set on pulling for shenhe is because i am first and foremost a chongyun main and she's his best support #and i also like her a fair amount so there's that

[iguessigotta]

So I was reading I-would-fuck-darkiplier’s blog and the most recent one so about Dark with a s/o that has tattoos. Inspiration has spawned in my brain, because when I’m old enough I would like to get a sleeve tattoo of roses, skulls, and rubies all together. What would Dark think about it?

for some reason i've never really thought about that! which is funny considering i have 8 tattoos and plans for like 15 more lmao your tattoo idea sounds cool af, anon, I feel like Dark would love it <3

i can see Dark liking tattoos, just not really wanting any for himself

yours, though? he might not say anything about them, but he's constantly looking at them

just subtle glances when your shirt sleeve/pant leg/etc lifts up enough to show part of it

if you're wearing something that leaves one or more tattoos completely uncovered, he can't tear his eyes away from them. he stares at them with such a focused look on his face that you're convinced he's trying to memorize every inch of every tattoo you have

Dark likes to trace the lines of your tattoos. lightly running his fingers over them, occasionally planting a light kiss on them as well

if you ask him what he's doing in moments like that, he'll just hum quietly and tell you he's "admiring a work of art". something about the way he says that makes you think he's not referring to your tattoos anymore....

#darkiplier fluff #darkiplier x reader #darkiplier x y/n #darkiplier headcannons #requests #[queued but not forgotten] #anon thank you for reminding me I have tattoos #i am now going to dive deep into my own brain and fantasize about Dark admiring my tattoos my heart is full now thank u #also anon a sleeve is an ambitious first tattoo but DO IT #roses skulls and rubies #god the vibes #the absolute aesthetic of it all #the EDGE (affectionate) #it's *chef's kiss*

[dustedanddim]

#vivitar vivicam 5386 #5.0 megapixel #gorgeous #sunday brunch #at la dive #in seattle #i love ruby and cammy #😇😇😇 #digicam

[veshialles]

every time I remake Silteya she looks totally different but also hotter

#ruby rambles #diving into my own oc's tag what about it #ruby's ocs #silteya larethael

[stevebabey]

the world is beautiful sometimes and im feeling it in this chili's tonight bc of bread and backflips and mandarins

printing this out and stapling it to my head <3 ur me after that date forreal

#the world is beautiful sometimes! #sharing a moment w/ a stranger & delighting in my date together #i think u just made it a whole lot more beautiful babylove #maybe i will do another wiki deep dive tonight #just for u #this is such a lovely exchange #ruby talks #asks #anon #answered

[autismlou]

the neurodivergent nightmare: RUBY SPARKS (2012)

TW! mention of abuse

,,have you seen my other shoe? i`m always losing things“ -ruby

after 10 years i found my way back to ruby sparks, written by lead actress zoe kazan.

this movie placed itself in my subconscious and didn’t fail to remind me of it every 5 years in very cryptic ways. i start remembering a tenseness, hiding behind a glowy haze, maybe even milliseconds of a scene. but rarely enough for me to jump in the euphoria of remembering something u tried hard not to forget.

that changed yesterday.

while watching a youtube video from maia c. ,,how the Manic Pixie Dream Girl romanticizes mental illness, quirky or autistic?``, the background visuals showed zoe kazan in the role of ruby. i instantly felt the familiar tenseness but also a wave of glowy, hazy memories of this movie. as it turns out i really loved it as a kid and watched it multiple times.

that i couldn’t quite comprehend everything, shouldn’t be a surprise for everyone who knows this film already.

,,why do you look at me like that?´´-ruby

summary:

calvin is 29 years old and a famous writer with his first bestseller gaining popularity when he was only 19 years old.

you can tell that he feels disconnected, even though he attends therapy sessions regularly.

he doesn’t really speak about his internal world neither intellectually or emotionally, he just exists in his luxurious but sparsely decorated home with his dog scotty. but not even scotty gained the role of calvin’s best friend. nobody has.

isolated and alone, calvin also lacks the creativity to start writing again, until he one night randomly starts dreaming about a mysterious but intriguing women. this sparks (lol) a creative flow and he starts writing her into existence night and day, literally.

the imaginary women, ruby sparks, one morning stands in calvin’s house, fully realized and whole.

this twist of events scares calvin and he freaks out but starts realizing that ruby now isn’t only a product of his imagination.

she is a sentient human being. he falls in love, hard.

calvin experiences emotions in ways he cant really comprehend, but he is happy. they are happy.

until ruby´s antics and quirks start to hinder calvin’s day to day life. he gets annoyed by her singing uncontrollably, by her joy over small things. he gets annoyed by the traits that he doesn’t share with her up until the point where ruby was ready to leave.

and even though calvin told his brother, after ruby’s appearance that he will never write about her again, he does and changes her. again and again, until he realizes that she isn’t herself anymore, which he also doesn’t like.

so he changes her back to default ruby but therefore, all their struggles come back with the original version of her.

calvin is disconnected from his own creation, even though he can change everything about her. this sends him spiraling in the last big fight they get in. this results in him showing ruby the manuscript that ´´birthed``her.

ruby is in absolut distress the whole fight but also can’t believe what calvin is telling her so he starts writing in her presence.

he makes her unable to leave the room, talk french, act like a dog, sing and strip for him until she is made to tell him that he is a genius while uncontrollably jumping up and down. it seems like calvin snaps and makes her tell him that she loves him and will never leave , while banging on the wall,sobbing. he makes her stop. she falls exhausted to the ground, panting.

as he tries to touch her she runs into another room and locks herself in.

calvin sits back down and starts completing the story of ruby sparks.-

,,as soon as ruby left the house, the past released her. she was no longer calvin’s creation. from that moment on, only ruby could determine the course of her life. she was free.´

´-calvin

this sadly isn’t the end of the movie, but i wont talk about it right now. such quirk and fun🤡

pt.1: the idea

i liked this movie a lot when i was a child, as previously mentioned. so after regaining memory of this film and hectically looking for a website where i can stream it, i was in utter shock when it came to an end.

the idea of creating something/someone out of your brain is truly fascinating, and it always was to me. my brain is a chaotic place filled with characters, memory’s and things that could never be and that always was my reality. nobody could ever relate to my experiences and what went on in my brain, and it was the same way around. the only thing i could relate to with neurotypicals was and is, trauma. it has been lonely, but never really hindert me in trying anyway. mostly because i didn’t know about my neurodiversity until my 21 year of life.

still, media that depicted neurodiveristy always had a special place in my heart, and know i understand why. just like this movie. but i would never recommend anyone watching it without knowing what is actually going on, which is fucking hard because nobody on set knew themselves.

that’s why i have tumblr now for the first time. that’s why im here. so lets get fucking stared!

pt.2: the behind the scenes

,,how do you know he’s one of the greatest novelists who ever lived? have you read every novel ever written?´´-ruby

the problem is very easy to find, but probably because we neurodiverse peeps are pretty good problem solvers. we know how to view things rationally and solve them. because most things are pretty simple if you look at them rationally, but everybody struggles with this of course. but neurotypicals struggle with it way more. we on the contrary lean to struggle with the many emotional aspects a nt´s brain uses to get to their own conclusion.

because i know this, i can understand how this movie came to be. even though its pretty fucking insane to me still.

so, now that we found each other here, im going to start with a few comments from zoe kazan herself.

she tells us in an casual interview on the searchlight pictures youtube channel from 10 years ago (and i´m paraphrasing here):

that the trope of the manic pixie dream girl is just the idea of a girl and nothing more. a idea of someone can’t be real. that’s why she tells the interviewer that she thinks its a demeaning way to characterize ruby, because she is a fully fleshed role. she in generell critiques the MPDG but not in this film.

in an interview on the rotten tomatoes coming soon youtube channel, she told the interviewer (paraphrasing again):

zoe wanted to tell the dangers of having an idea of a person and holding them to that. that reducing someone like that is an own form of violence.

all of this is true, sadly. you can see these narratives in the movie. still, im telling you not watch it. why?

it’s insensitive and fucking clueless.

zoe tells us that ruby is a fully fleshed character, which is true. i actually really saw myself in her. i know the highs and lows of being different, and ruby did too. but that’s all she was, different. even though her difference was a clear depiction of autism.

pt.3: the problem

,, That’s a lot of pressure.´´-ruby

the problem with this is so apparent. at least it should be. but it clearly wasn’t.

ruby sparks could have been the perfect metaphor for the abuse of neurodiverse women in relationships. im not sure if this is a surprise for you.

calvin is a fucking villain.

i dont want to be insensitive. i know that this could be seen as polarising, if anybody cares or even finds this.

as a fellow autistic its hard for me not to think in black and white, because nearly everything could be that simple if people just were honest with each other and themselves.

and i think, if we really going to be honest here (which im almost always), we can say that categorizing this movie as comedy and romance is fucking twistet.

i never remembered this movie as being funny or romantic. it was ominous and still is. u are watching the creation and breaking of a neurodiverse women and its heartbreaking.

calvin is 29 years old, white, abled bodied, cis men and comes from a wealthy background. he accumulated wealth of his own in the past 10 years. he is in therapy. he even has a dog. calvin has everything right at his fingertips. but he isn’t happy. he carry’s himself like a wet grey sock. no hobby’s. no happiness. also a dead dad but we never really explore if he was close to him, he isn’t really close to his mom neither.

this is our protagonist. a basic bitch. there is no way i could feel bad for him. everything he could need to change his life or at least his outlook on it are already a part of his life. of course he is afraid of people just wanting to be with him because of his fame but he never even takes the leap. i understand social distress and and how scary it is to meet new people. i mean duh. but i can’t really change anything about it. he could, but won’t. he lurks in the shadow of his own success and isolates himself, but keeps feeling miserable. calvin all in all is a pathetic excuse of a human and the reason why i don’t like men.

then we have ruby. a spunky artist that is confident in herself and her abilities. a person that would rather risk sounding crazy then silencing herself. she sings and dances and just radiates live when she is happy. she is unapologetically herself. wearing a bright red dress with purple tights and green shoes. who wants to and convince me ruby is a neurotypical hmm? nobody could. but she also feels the pressure of calvin relying on her to keep him happy. she can define that her melancholy stems from her being lonely, from her not being able to do what she loves.

zoe is right when she tells us ruby is a full human even though she was the miracle in this film. calvin was just the idea of a depressed intellectual that can’t find connection in the regular, in the unspectacular. that’s why ruby was so different. so that she could carry him on her cloud of special.

and even though zoe herself said that reducing people is violent, why didn’t calvin suffer like ruby? calvin just regularly got critiqued for his lone wolf attitude.

calvin just was in the privileged position to shrug it off because he believed that he was smart enough to realize his flaws if he had them. in his eyes all his problem stemmed from not being in a relationship. but then when he was in one with ruby, all his flaws lead to them being incompatible because he wouldn’t recognize them. so he found all the flaws in ruby just being different.

i hope everybody can get on what im critiquing here.

calvin, the creator, was even less of a character than the one he literally wrote into existence. he created a person that was in her way of creating a fulfilled live and as soon as he realized that she didn´t need him for it, he got scared. and isn’t that just pathetic? he couldn’t keep up so he changed her and made her miserable.

but the clinging, her being emotional and dependent on him, was too much. so he changed her again…..

so now….. how do we feel seeing a perfectly fine character getting changed in their core because their partner isn’t satisfied…. what does that sound like to you ?

pt.4:the end

,,have you read it?´´-ruby

- calvin releases a new book about his incredible experience with ruby. she now is gone and he hopes that she won’t read it. the only thing that she took with her after the fight, except her own clothes was a ´i love you´ note he had left for her.

in the end calvin goes on a walk with scotty and they meet ruby, laying on a blanket in a park.

reading his new book. she does not remember him even though she feels a familiarity. they start talking and the movie ends with ruby and calving looking each other lovingly in the eyes.

WTF!!!! when i tell you that my heart dropped. i sincerely hoped until this last part that the genre listing for this movie was just wrong. but it really was meant to be a romcom , and i literally felt sick to my stomach.

he got a happy ending. why??

my immediate thought was : ,,why in hell, was it ruby?? couldn’t it just have been some random new woman??´´ just imagine, he meets a new woman. this could be such a good way of showing that he in the end still had a great enough time with no big need of recovery. you see calvin crying only on the night ruby left. than he starts writing, running, cooking. its like he himself starts a new life and works on his flaws.

mind you, after he broke ruby.

what does that tell us? ruby got emotionally abused out by this person, just so that he can transition into an adult that’s MAYBE more in touch with his emotions. for the first time at 29. and stills gets the girl. again.

and the way that the absolutely traumatizing scene where calvin made ruby do what he wanted, never got spoken of again. as if a men making a women do absolutely everything he wants while she clearly does not want to do it. bending and breaking into the molds that he creates for her isn’t fucking scary, should never happen. still, i relate to that. this kind of abuse happened to me.

i was 15 years old and my boyfriend of the time who always has been 2 years older , manipulated me right from the start so i could be whatever he wanted me to be. for 1 1/2 years. this was 2016 and i didnt realize until 2021.

i got tought that i have to be exactly the way everyone wants me to be. so did ruby. they can tell that u wont leave, they can tell that you would do everything to do your one big love right. ruby didn’t had another choice, but neither did i. because nobody ever told me. i had to crack, bend and break more than ones in this relationship before just being so done that you have no other option then leave. but ruby never really did. she still owns that note even though she doesn’t have all the memory’s.

i don´t have all the memory’s, i don’t want them but i will forever know that in this time of my young life, i was used miserable. and maybe its good that ruby does not remember, but he does. and he still longs for her to kiss him again. maybe my abuser also longs for me, the perfect girlfriend, to be back in his life. but thankfully we are not the protagonists of this severely and sadly misguided movie.

in the end calvin gets a happy end with the literal girl of his dreams, even though he is the only one remembering every detail, it wasn’t his trauma. and that makes him the winner either way…

did you like it?-ruby and me

#Youtube #actuallyautistic #autism #autistic #movie review #ruby sparks #neurodiverse nightmare #neurodivergent #its the neurodivergency #special interest #essay #movie essay #commentary #hyperfixation #writing #deep dive

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Uuuuuugh fuck YES my mom got Paramount+ and gave me the password, now I can FINALLY finish Star Trek TNG 😩😩😩😩

#I LOVE THIS SHOWWWWWW ITS SO GOOD FUCK #and i STILL havent seen the last episode even tho it has Q in it. i want to just dive right into it but im gonna finish the show first!!!! #thats self control babeyyyyy #ruby rambles

[fieriframes]

[Pink salt here. Brings out that nice ruby-red color that we like. Okay. His dreams were so big and his successes so small. And then drop the brisket. Word.]

#s23e09 finger lickin' food #guy fieri #guyfieri #diners drive-ins and dives #nice ruby-red color #pink salt #dreams #successes #brisket #word