#dont mind me just brainrotting on my way back from work

[mariatesstruther]

maria millers’s “whos been cutting your hair” line is so insanely interesting to me because, objectively, it’s an absolutely bonkers and unnecessary question to ask in the context of a literal apocalypse, but she says it so sure and normal. you can tell it actually matters to her so much about whose been cutting this random little girls hair that shes probably been thinking about it for their entire conversation, and then she sets up this cute little salon chair situation instead of just cutting her hair over the trash can. maria puts a towel over ellie’s shoulders and (SO MAD they dont show it) even wets her hair to make sure its all straight and even when it gets cut, which ellie has likely never had anyone do for her before. the woman is also incredibly attentive to her: she realizes by ellie’s lack of response that she likely has zero clue was a district attorney is and immediately puts it into the simplest terms for her. she engages her in genuine conversation super directly, which i think is ESPECIALLY important to point out because a big point of tension for ellie this whole episode is feeling left out of the conversations (unspoken and spoken) that happen between tommy and joel—and maria, as we know from the matching looks on their faces when joel and tommy hug, feels the exact same exclusion.

their entire first meeting scene just goes crazy in that maria is so immediately inclined to help ellie feel as comfortable and normal as she can be at this point. she sees that her coat isnt thick enough for their winter, so she instantly trades for a heavier one. she gets ellie new shoes and double-checks that theyre the right size. she guesses ellie doesnt have access to period products so she gets her some without even knowing for sure if she has one already. she knows from ellie’s negative reaction that she doesnt like to get her hair cut and immediately promises that shes not doing anything drastic, just a trim.

and to bring it back to the that line, cutting your split ends regularly is such small thing, but so so so important for your hair’s growth and health. i think its a great little example of how, over time, everybody has just learned to live without these kinds of small but incredibly meaningful gestures and rituals and habits, like getting their hair cut. and maria mf miller is out here being the one to make sure jackson is a place where people dont have to sacrifice those small and meaningful things because its just her instinct (likely left over from being a mom, just like her affinity for cutting hair)

idk man just thinking about maria miller and ellie miller and the shared experience of post apocalyptic womanhood

#tlou #the last of us #dont mind me just brainrotting on my way back from work #maria miller #ellie miller #joel miller #tommy miller #the millers #it just frankly annoys me that all of the straight up GOOD VIBES maria presents in this scene is often overshadowed by the back half #and i admit that the trust thing and what maria says about tommy following joel was weak writing wise #but them making her jackson’s in-house salonist/barber??????? #they mf ate that

[beaniegaebie]

i don't really have any solid conclusions about this yet but i noticed A Thing in a rewatch and i haven't found it mentioned elsewhere yet so here we go

(apologies for the appalling image quality you're about to see, i can't screenshot easily rn pls bear with)

OKAY so in the scene where crowley confronts gabriel about "shut up and die", something about the arrangement of book stacks caught my eye a little

the majority of the books are angled so that we mostly just see the page edges and not the spines clearly, EXCEPT for a particularly shiny and familiar colour combo right here-

but nothing too weird going on there, i thought, crowley coloured books in a bookshop so what? right up until i registered crowley's line when we get a closer look-

hhhhmmmmMMmmmm yes yes "everything just the way you wanted" huh, very interesting considering that we know how much thought goes into props huh

and for most of the shots we get of crowley in this position those freaking books are just quietly nestled right there in the corner-

look at that god damn framing i fuckin see you, you glorious bastards

so i paused to see if i could figure out what the hell was up with those fuckers and this is when i absolutely lost my mind, your honour

A and C you say?? in crowley colours???? framed like this?????? localised entirely within your kitchen???

anyway long story short they're two books from an Agatha Christie Crime Collection set (24 volumes, three stories per volume) and guess whats on the mfing front covers I'm-

(its a rant for another post but when paired with this other set of initials spotted in s2 i want to scream actually)

ANYWAY back to the books, through an absolutely unhinged comparison of the formatting of gold text blobs i reckon the two we have here are:

(on top) The Pale Horse; The Big Four, The Secret Adversary

(on bottom) 4:50 From Paddington, Lord Edgeware Dies, Murder in Mesopotamia

(I'm fairly confident but if anyone has a better image to confirm/correct this pls do)

now here is where I'll need a bunch of help from some Christie-heads out there bc I haven't read any of these and I've only seen the tv adaptation of one of them, so i dont know for sure if these are like A Clue, or A Cool Thing, or if I've just fully brainrotted myself into a fun lil corner here? wa-hoo

but here's some initial stuff that jumped out at me after skimming the basics:

(some of) the titles: Pale Horse/Big Four - death's horse ofc, the four horsemen mayb? the them+adam?? ; Mesopotamia is a very biblical choice bbz ; 4:50 From Paddington- azi likes trains i guess? idk that one's tenuous lmao ; honestly no idea with the other two but Secret Adversary feels a tad ominous

iirc Big Four just has kind of an unusual history, it was initially twelve short stories that she later compiled into one, and it was published fairly soon after christie's mysterious disappearance/reappearance

in Big Four, poirot fakes his death at one point and doesnt even let hastings in on it and I'm hoping sure its totally irrelevant to the ineffable bois

part of the Pale Horse story is a group of assassins that basically try to pass off all their murders as being actually caused by like ✨satanic powers✨ which is interesting

christie knew a fUCkton about poisonings thats why she wrote so many into her work and, while i don't believe the poison coffee theory myself, it sure is an interesting link with how cyanide is associated with almond smell/flavour and that metatron chooses almond syrup in particular

(ALSO random side note that is mostly meaningless but I've worked in a good few uk coffee shops and have never worked anywhere that stocks almond syrup; almond milk yes, hazelnut syrup yes, but never almond syrup...? prob just the places i worked though lmao)

EDIT forgotten point: I've seen some speculation that the bently's plate reading "CURTAIN" could be a reference to poirot's last story, along side that alternate scene of crowley ordering the sherry for "miss marple", its just one too many agatha christie references for my melted brain to handle and I'm SUS

so this is where i run out of idea steam and hand it over to you lot because i have no clue what this could mean, if it even means anything other than a cool set feature

is there something here actually or am i yelling into the void just for fun?

who knows, who cares!

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens meta #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #agatha christie #hercule poirot #miss marple #can't wait to hear y'alls thoughts #SO WHY IS THERE A KNIFE THROUGH THE 'A' HUH #AND WHY IS THE 'C' ON THE CHALKBOARD SO FADED HMMM #GAIMAN EXPLAIN #things that make me go ngkk

[ballad-of-death]

Kissing the boo boo away

;;PAIRING : Jake Peralta x cop!reader

;;SUMMARY : after getting shot, the last thing you expect is a confession from your colleague.

;;NOTES : HEHEHHEHEHHEHE JAKE BRAINROT ENSUES. Also yes very cliche blah blah blah. Anyways! First fic to post on here i hope you guys like it :)

Gettig shot is not like in the movies. You dont just calmly lay and hold the wound. Its loud. It pierces trough you. It makes you gasp for air and yelp in pain. Then there's the force of the blow throwing you back onto the floor and the warm feeling of the bullet going through your skin. The smell of burnt cloth and skin. The ringing in your ears after the shot.

The worried yells of your partners.

You try holding on to the wound but even the smallest bit of pressure makes you want to throw up.

The sound of steps and shots ringing in the background as a habd on your shoulder brings you back to reality.

"Hey! Hey! Dont close your eyes stay with me now! Its me Jake! Hey look at me!" The detective held your shoulder and tried keeping you awake as much as he could. He tried to put pressure on your wound but you just winced and groaned in pain. The bullet shot you theough the abdomen and you couldn't sit upright without immense pain.

"Dont worry everything will be okay just look at me. The medics are on their way just hold on a little longer!"

Jake said with obvious worry in his tone. You tried your best to open your eyes but the heavy feeling of tiredness washed over you. The warmth of your bosy as the blood pumped more and more seemed... comforting in a sense... just closing your eyes to rest wouldn't hurt right? The pain would still keep you awake right?

"No, No, No, No, No! Hey he look at me Hey! Dont "

The bliss of rest entwred your mind and all you could think about was... nothing. Just nothing. Pure nothingness. If it were a movie it would be a black screen, yet not in a bad ending way but a break between plots.

----

You woke up to the beeps of the ECG next to your bed. You look arounf the room but your eyes are still adjusting.

Yet, you can clearly make out the sillouette of a person to your right. They are holding your hand and seem to be sleeping. As your eyes finally adjust you see who it is. Jake.

You tap his hand a few times to try and wake him up and it works.

Hes gasps and jotls closer to you his eyes still slightly closed.

"Hm? What? Wait. Y/N! You're awake! Oh i thought you were going to sleep for like three days like in the movies oh my god you scared me to death!" He rambles on as you chuckled to yourself.

"Thanks Peralta, you know how to make someone feel better" you smile at him letting him know you were joking.

"Yes sorry. But are you okay? Should i call the nurse? Does it hurt? Are you okay? Do you need anything? Anything at all?" He seemed distressed, worried even. You never saw him like this. He wasnt his goofy self anymore. He was more serious.

"'M fine Jake. But you sound more worried the I am. Is everything okay with you?"

"Yes...no... maybe? I dont know but i doesnt matter. You cant do this to me! You cant be so brave ! When you got shot you worried me so so so so much Y/N! I thought i lost you! Like actually. This isnt like a monologue i put on because i had to. You actually scared me. I care about you so much and you just get shot like that." He held your hand tighter and looked you in the eyes. His voice was really serious.

Your hand reached for his head and cupped his face lightly.

"Jake... I'm sorry, although its not my fault i got shot but...im sorry. Dont be so worried about me though. No matter what i will be fine" you smile at him.

"No Y/N i will worry about you. I will. You mean so much to me and now when i thought i lost you... Y/N you seriously dont know how much you mean to me. I was so shit scared about you and it made me realize that... that i care about you. More than anything actually.... what im trying to say is—

When i thought you were gone i realized that a life without you would be hard. I love you Y/N. So so so sod so fucking much." He sighed, his eyes were glossy as if he was about to cry.

Your heart ached at this sight. He also meant much to you. The sight of him sad and worried was very rare. Infact you haven't seen him cry ever.

"Jake—"

"No i know its stupid we're coworkers and like it wouldn't work out and you think im saying this because of your state. But im serious Y/N."

"I know you are, but let me finish. I care about you too Jake. And I think i care about you in the same way you do abiut me. I think i might love you too Peralta."

"You know how to ruin a moment using my last name dont you?" You both luaghed. You were relieved he was already back to his normal self.

"Also, the nurse asked me to ask you if you need someone to kiss your booboo away?"

"Not very smooth Peralta, if you want to kiss me just do it."

"Cool, cool cool cool cool cool cool cool"

#jake peralta x reader #b99 x reader #brooklyn 99 x reader #jake peralta #brooklyn 99 #brooklyn 99 fanfiction #jake peralta fanfic #fluff

[hiemaldesirae]

i have less than 24 hours left before i have to go through one of the most stressful days of my life so. heres a list of my fav radiostatic fic recs in no particular order

clarification: by radiostatic i mean fics where vox is 100% not the dom in the relationship. most of these dont contain explicit sex though, and im not recommending any straight porn fics here because you can easily find those with a click and search through the bottom vox tag lmao

most of these fics are unfinished, so be warned that i will not take accountability if you get attached to these without them being finished properly. in fact ill just laugh at you because then we'll be suffering together

now, that aside- starting off strong with some of the more popular fics:

RHTVS / Radio Healed the Video Star by Aspiring_Forest_Witch

notes: LONG fucking fic. like this guys almost 700k words long fic. one of the best things ive ever read in my life though and it has a plotline thats frankly more engaging than the actual showing of hazbin on amazon. so. you know. if you have the time to read it Please do you wont regret it

Unraveling Emotions by Xaelei

notes: one of my favourite fics ever on god. started my brainrot for dad!husk, portrays one of the most scrumptious radiostatic dynamics and is generally so very well written that i might end up trying to recreate one of the scenes in comic form. genuinely in love with this fic and im so glad i can say i was the first comment on this fic because my God its such a treat to see new chapters drop for this. unfortunately i havent had the time to write out a detailed comment as of now but if someone wants to let the author know that im still in love with their fic and will continue supporting it until i drop dead go ahead for me

Safe with Me by rillyrillo

notes: the prequel and main fic of this series is human radiostatic, though the sequel is set in hell. it comes with gorgeous gorgeous art and frankly one of the most exhilirating endings ive ever had the pleasure of witnessing play out. i recommend you guys check out their other fics too, the art continues in them + their radiostatic is written wonderfully across all universes!

A Month of Rut by Vylad

notes: this fic is very self indulgent to me. i love the way radiostatic is written in this one because theyre very soft and sweet, but others may not prefer it if theyre looking for freak4freak radiostatic. if you just want something to indulge in and relax with at the end of a heavy day though this is my #1 rec. i read this sometimes when i find myself crying at night lmao

Down, Up, and Back Down by CowboyEnthusiast

notes: made me sob like a baby. 10/10 no notes whatsoever read it for yourself because you WILL not regret it. i genuinely am always at a loss for words whenever i reread this because it is among the most gutwrenching but beautiful and poetic works that ive ever read and i think it deserves some recognition

Mind the Gap by ZLynn

notes: again, to reiterate, i do very much dislike the abusive!staticmoth portrayal i see in a lot of fics. but in this one... it's written so perfectly, i can definitely see it actually happening. i enjoy the way that val does still seem to care about vox, albeit in his own twisted way that eventually breaks and fractures their love and trust, and its just. Ugh. So fucking good

+ with the less popular but still wonderful depictions of radiostatic that i love to indulge in:

i'll give you a show (cause it helps fill the seats) by dead_and_dreaming

notes: absolutely shameless plug from me for my dear mk's work because i cant stop thinking about the way that she's portrayed al here. its actually insane how fucked up that stupid little deer is and i just. i really fucking love the way that their alastor is written, it's genuinely probably my Number One depiction of alastor ever. i demand more of this stupid little freak RIGHT NOW!!!!

Any of the fics by Rachello344 in the Hazbin Hotel Fandom Tag on their profile

notes: so remember when i told you guys i wouldnt be linking straight porn. looks away... okay in my defense though i read the smut for the characterization and their unique dynamics. its sooo interesting to see how their radiostatic is explored here and im honestly refreshed by the depiction of their relationship. im here for it !!!

The Read 'Em and Weep Series by TooManyPseudonyms

notes: so from what i was able to piece together (everything flies over my head when im reading, forgive me for my low media literacy) this is an au set before the hotel where (in the first work) al and vox are in a qpr relationship. in the second work this evolves into a romantic relationship, and the exploration of their dynamic through this is just... Yeah. please read it its 100% worth your time and so underrated it hurts my heart

Uneasy by Saezs

notes: this fic is one of the first radiostatic fics i read (the others being RHTVS and... i think i tried the 666 series, but it didnt appeal to me lol) and its actually just wonderful. i really love saezs's genderfluid vox and how supportive the other vees are of them <3 their portrayl of the characters puts a smile on my face whenever i reread their work

Heat Waves by HappyPRAWN

notes: i'll be fr dsmptsd hit me like a truck when i read the title but it is such an interesting debut! only at one chapter as of me making this post but the way the author wrote this is so engaging and it really makes me wonder what they have next in store for the fic

Do I have your attention now? by Chi_Chi25

notes: wow no way we have the same name... anyway ahem. ill be completely honest this ones a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. this fic is a bit fragmented and short, so for people who click off fics when they see imperfect grammar this one may not be for you. however if you can look past that, it has an engaging storyline and quite the juicy concept :)

Killer Ex by FanGirl48

notes: gorgeous, gorgeous little human! radiostatic oneshot. i love the relationship that vox and al have here... the reasons why they both stayed away from each other even though theyre still so very clearly down bad for each other... anyway. i think about this one a lot and i still go back to reread it sometimes lol

Negotiations by FanGirl48

notes: i didnt realize until i started making this list that this fic was also written by fangirl48.... go off queen keep feeding us (me). this one was a fic recommended to me initially by link nonny, and i can 100% vouch for how good it is. its got appletv interactions, radiostatic plus lucifer trying to navigate heaven, angels... basically everything needed for a very varied and well packed with flavour story

The diary of a Serial Killer by ShippersCave

notes: okay im running out of brain juice at this point but. yeah this fic is soooo self indulgent to me. this ones another human au, with al as a serial killer and vox as the journalist trying to conduct interviews with him. its got SUCH a good dynamic between al and vox, i encourage you guys to check it out and give it a chance even if youre not really into human aus.

My heart's been pierced by Cupid by ShippersCave

notes: pirate/siren au !!!!!!!!! RAAHH !!!!! i dont have to say anything else for this if thats not enough to get you to click then i dont know what is

System Shutdown by Swoolie

notes: i cant believe i nearly forgot about this one LMAO... vox goes onto a temporary hiatus and everyone goes crazy about it. im not really sure if this counts as radiostatic frankly because of the way its tagged but its so good i think you should give it a read anyway

Together in Radio Static by Anonymous

notes: QPR media husbands radiostatic au !!!! i love this one especially because it opens off with vox slapping alastor across the face for leaving him LMAOO (deserved)

What Has Been by Tianren

notes: another human au (YEAH YEAH I KNOW. JUST HEAR ME OUT OKAY i swear im cooking) look, as someone with religious trauma deeper than i can properly express and the worlds fifteenth worst parental issues, the depiction of vox in this fic just really hits home. i really adore the exploration of voxs past and how the themes of religious guilt and cults are woven in so far- and it blends very seamlessly with their human au, despite the characters eccentricities

you're too sweet for me by awestruck_atrophy and moonbeanies

notes: basically, vox and al make a deal where vox tries to help him out of the shackles or whatever that are bound to him because of his stupid dumbass lusting for power. its very intriguing so far and i love the setup and worldbuilding the authors have done, so you should check it out if you want a unique perspective on radiostatics relationship

candlelight by curtailed

notes: the best way i can think of to describe this one is like... fake marriage but instead of fake marriage its. fake roommates??? the author probably puts it better than me tbh. its super interesting so far, i cant wait to see where this one is headed especially with how unique its premise is!

Zero Day by Anonymous

notes: this one is like those time regression manhwas. you know, the ones where the protag goes back in time and proceeds to try and avoid everyone who made their life miserable- only to fail because for some reason now they're paying attention to them more than they would have had they stayed the same person. its certainly very promising, though! i do love indulging in time regression stories, especially when the mc is someone i love like vox. i really cant wait to see which direction this one is headed in :)

Never as Good as the First Time by IComeForFanficsNowin403

notes: okay. so, uh. um. so- this one is in spanish. HOWEVER its premise (serial killer alastor meets television star (?? i think. its not quite clear) at a party hosted by rosie, moves into his neighborhood to keep an eye on the pretty prey) is just so unique i honestly think its worth the experience to pull out google translate and try living the machine translated life. really. give it a chance. also its got beautiful art to go along with, so.. you know. thats just a bonus!

+ honorary staticmoth and one-sided/past radiostatic fic rec:

Freak-A-Zoid by Femalefonzie

notes: this fic deserves every single piece of praise its ever gotten because good lord. its SO good. i was not seeing the radiostatic twist come in, but it *is* mostly staticmoth. and also a/b/o but i mean. who *hasnt* indulged in a little bit of a/b/o before honestly

there are other fics that i personally like to indulge in, but i frankly wouldnt recommend to anyone else because they're either the kinds of fics that i myself can only bring myself to read after ive spent 8 hours at work crying into my pillow and need to look at something entertaining, or when im starved of content and cant be bothered to cook myself so i pull out the translator and start going at it. (technically i should know how to read french by now but. urgh. anywway..)

#ran rambles #radiostatic fic #radiostatic #fic rec #fanfic recommendation #hazbin hotel #honestly ive probably forgotten a few bangers but my brain is melted by now #if anyone wants to add their own recs feel free. these are just my personal likes #ive read stuff by arctic and addicted ofc but those ones are basically known by everyone afaik lmao. swm is known everywhere too #but thats a bit diff because it is part of an expanding series. so #anyway i didnt like some of the more popular fics like 666 or addicted but i know many people like those #and for good reason too because theyre wonderful! just not to my personal tastes and thats fine

[triptuckers]

lost and found - ezra bridger

Request: nope Pairing:  ezra bridger x jedi!reader Summary:  along with the remainder of the ghost crew and ahsoka, you're trying to find ezra Warnings:  HEAVY SPOILERS FOR AHSOKA S1!!! im warning u dont read this if u havent seen all of it yet Word count:  1.1K A/N: I survived the war (im posting fics again) but at what cost (brainrot has taken over)

your music is blaring through the speakers of your ship as you're working. though your ship isn't in need of any repairs, you're always finding new modifications and additions to upgrade it. at this rate, it's unrecognisable as the ship you once got from a sketchy dealer on an outer rim planet.

working on your ship is also a way to distract yourself. when you're focused on working with your hands, your mind doesn't wander off.

it doesn't wander off to hera and jacen aboard the ghost. it doesn't wander off to sabine and ahsoka on her T-6 shuttle. but mostly, it doesn't wander off to ezra. you try not to think about the fact hera is on an unauthorised mission, that you haven't heard from sabine and ahsoka in a while which is unlike them, and that you feel like you're not even a little bit closer to finding ezra.

even though you haven't seen him for years, you refuse to believe he's gone. you tell yourself you would simply know if he didn't make it. before you lost him, the two of you shared a strong bond in the force. you figured if something had happened to him, you would have felt it.

but after all of these years, it's hard to hold on to hope. you really want to. but at some point logic has to take over.

though recently, hope has sparked in you yet again. with the map ahsoka found, the chances of finding ezra have increased. you are optimistic again.

but the search hasn't been without danger. even now, you're worried.

which is why you're working on your ship. otherwise you'd just pace around or stare off into the distance with your mind running around in circles getting lost in the "what ifs".

a faint beeping sounds pulls you out of your thoughts. you get up from your position underneath one of the main consoles and get your comm.

'general syndulla for commander y/l/n.' comes hera's voice.

'go for commander y/l/n.' you say.

'hey y/n, where are you right now?'

'just working on my ship in the main hangar back on base.'

'new modifications again?'

'yeah, yeah, I know. "a good ship doesn't need modifications." well, I like them. the ghost could use some upgrades as well, you know.'

'no thank you, my ship is perfectly fine.'

you chuckle as you wipe your hands on your pants.

'have you heard from sabine and ahsoka yet?' you say. 'and when are you coming home from this unauthorised mission?'

'sabine and ahsoka are alright, we're actually on our way now. and we have some news regarding ezra.' says hera.

'you have news on ezra?' you say, unable to hide the relief in your voice. 'do you know how to find him? or where he is? is he okay?'

'we'll talk about it in person. we should be arriving soon.' says hera.

'I'll wait for you.'

'see you soon.'

hera disconnects her comm, leaving you alone with the music again. your mind is racing. they have news on ezra. you knew it, he's still out there somewhere. you're sure of it.

you quickly put the panel of the main console back and tidy up your tools. just as you pause your music and exit your ship, you see the ghost and ahsoka's T-6 shuttle getting closer to the hangar.

you anxiously await them, watching as they carefully land. the shuttle door opens and sabine and ahsoka come out of it.

sabine smiles as you half walk, half run up to them and pull them both into a hug.

'I'm so glad you guys are safe.' you say. 'it scared the shit out of me when I couldn't contact you.'

'we're alright.' says ahsoka, patting you on the back.

you pull back to look at them. they both look tired, but other than that they seem fine. sabine has a twinkle in her eyes and smile on her face.

'what is it?' you say. 'do you know something about ezra?'

'yeah.' says sabine. 'but hera should tell you.'

she points to the ghost, where hera has just exited the ship. jacen follows her, but is looking over his shoulder and talking to someone. at first, you assume it's merely chopper.

but as they walk further down, you see it's not chopper at all. it's a young man. he's wearing colourful robes and has a beard and curly hair.

it doesn't matter he's older than he is in your memories. it doesn't matter he still has the same eyes and the same scar on his cheek. it doesn't matter something in the force tugs on you so strongly, as if it has found its home.

none of it matters, because you would know him anywhere, in any universe, no matter who you are.

ezra. your ezra. talking with jacen as if nothing had ever happened. he's here, he's alive.

a sob escapes your mouth as you take off.

'ezra!' you yell.

you don't even bother to hide the tears as they stream down your cheeks. after all this time, he's finally here.

for a brief second you see his smile before you crash into him. you wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face in his neck, holding him impossibly close. you're never going to let him go.

words fail you as you just cry into his shoulder.

you feel ezra's arms around your back and get lost in the feeling. it's all so painfully familiar, as if no time had passed at all. yet you know everything has happened since the last time you saw him.

you slightly pull away to look at him.

ezra is smiling at you just like he did all those years ago. though he's older, he's still the same. still the same kid you met on the streets of lothal.

you reach out and brush a finger over the scar on his cheek.

'you're here.' you say breathlessly.

'I am.' he says.

you'd heard his voice in your dreams and memories and the recording sabine still has. but this is different. it means everything and more to you.

'you're as beautiful as the day I lost you.' you whisper.

'I dreamed of this day.' says ezra. 'thought about all the things I would say to you. it all seemed so simple. but now? I have no idea. nothing seems like the right thing to say.'

'but it is simple.' you say. 'I love you.'

ezra smiles even brighter. 'I love you too.' he says. 'I always knew I would see you again. we have a lot of catching up to do.'

you smile as ezra leans in and kisses your forehead. you'd finally found each other again.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rulesHere’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Max/Marit

#did I shamelessly use a line from httyd? yes because it lives in my head rent free #also im YELLIIINGGG about this #like as a rebel fan im going insane #ahsoka #ahsoka series #ahsoka spoilers #ezra bridger #ezra bridger x reader #ezra bridger fanfiction #ezra bridger fanfic #ezra bridger fanfics #ezra bridger fic #ezra bridger fics #ezra bridger oneshot #ezra bridger oneshots #ezra bridger blurb #ezra bridger blurbs #star wars #Star Wars fanfiction #Star Wars fanfic #Star Wars fanfics #Star Wars fic #Star Wars fics #Star Wars oneshot #Star Wars oneshots #Star Wars blurb #Star Wars blurbs #rebels #rebels fanfiction #rebels fanfic

[angellic-critique]

Honestly my biggest fear is to end up writing my characters the same way vivzie does, I feel like she doesn't even try on certain characters(female characters and literally any other that isn't her "uwu baby boi must be protected at all costs" characters like stolas, angel dust). Like imagine completely missing the point of your own character/srs

to everyone pre-release worries and anxieties just as much as I have-- Please take this time to read or explore different interests of books or authors of subjects and genres you like ! In the era of internet where the golden age of information is rusting into brainrot, the less time online anymore the better. I've been taking javascript/python tutorials for myself attempting to make a dating simulator for literal years at this point and its bounced around to the point of where I branched off to develop my own murder mystery 2-d sidescroller !

I wish for this to be a farewell letter to the crushed hopes and dreams I had for the original hazbin pilot and crew has moved on to other things whereas viv attempted to spitefully keep a story she clearly doesn't have any passion over- it is very evident over her lack of care for her own characters purely for the monetary gains of attempting and sadly wriggling her way into industry the way she did is so abhorrent to the world of genuine art and animation I grew up with.

Has Vivzie ever read a Felix the Cat comic strip or Dilbert even Hägar The Horrible? Does she even know about the history and strive of depth that animation has been at for hundreds of years? Does she even like comics, clearly not if she doesn't even have the patience to write her own and horribly rush whichever story she's interested in that day. I've never seen a careless writer be this selfishly unashamed to write literal garbage and surface level 'intrigue' of design and then falling flat face first at EVERY step. Hope she becomes as unbearable of a director as John K. is because honestly even though I'm cringing making that comparison, it's pretty fair in my book considering the outright ABUSE she has always trying to talk or hoard artists into her 'pet project' I recommend above anything else to watch Dan Stamanolous' 'Moral Orel' if you want an actually funny dark comedy or Christy Karacas' fast paced dark horror comic-come-to-life Superjail! for good animattion that doesn't belittle its audience... *[Trigger Warnings for Adult Swim-esque outdated 2007 humor and light transphobia, read for your own triggers if you dont want to though, please!]

The fact that Stollitz is written so flimsily like a wattpad fanficiton of tropes rolled into one is astounding to me, I used to like the dynamic pre-season 2 as I've mentioned on here and @tired-hellowl so I really don't want to get a headache going into how I USED to like it-Realizing the problematic consent issues all of STOLASS is, I physically cannot watch another Helluva or Hazbin promo anymore without rolling my eyes into the back of my head.

To the anons and people who used to also enjoy vivs work, there are other artists and there are other stories to tell. If you wish to be inspired from Dante's Inferno/Hell or WESTERN CHRISTIAN BASED RELIGION keep in mind what source material you're doing because I don't even think vivzie has picked up the bible once in her life.... And I say this as a drifter in the world who believes in reincarnation I don't really vibe with the athiest stereotypes however, I don't believe in most religion but more power to people that do get hope and love from their teachings and cultures.

She entirely missed the mark for several years, nearly a decade. Viv has had time and time again chance and opportunity to give a chance of storytelling with demons and what does she do? Adult Cartoon that has the demons scream 'FUCK SHIT DAMNIT DAMNIT LOOK IM SO HORNY AND SILLY AND WACKY WOAHH THE SCREEN IS CONSTANTLY MOVING YOU CAN NEVER HAVE A SECOND TO BREATH IN ANY AMOUNT OF WORLBUILDING OR SETTING BECAUSE FUCK. YOU.'--

I have said this time and time again- there is no substance or worth about Helluva Bosses or Hazbins writing, even without the show not being released because Amazon seems ashamed about it, I know it'll be a shitshow.

Honestly at this point I agree with the redesign community, take any character you used to like and rewrite them until it's unrecognizable from the original source material, let those fuckers in space fight alien pirates or hell take them out of the heaven and hell trope and just flip it on it's head entirely out of earth or wherever you want to set your story! I'm personally redesigning angel to be a slight aid to my addiction help via rewriting him into my murder mystery heheh while keeping the sexual abuse and recovery in mind because woah that shit happened to me too man !!!

I wish the best to any future writers, animators, programmers, lovers of animation or art, you can do what you put your mind and hands to! Spread more positivity and love then hate in this world please guys, this'll be the last time I pop in I promise I'm trying to get a better job and hopefully get accepted in a community college that i've been on the fence over trying to do more online coding ! The sky is the limit!<3

#anti vivziepop #trash askbox #helluva critical #i dont want to be mean in the tags and overtag like i usually do #however #vivziepop critical #please stop supporting spindlehorse #please stop supporting vivziepop #anti helluva boss #genuine art criticism #genuine art tip box #<3 signing off #!!! <3 #my.silley.art

[choccy-milky]

Hi! I started reading your story sometime in the last week and I’m OBSESSED! I normally don’t have much patience and can’t get myself to read anything past like 15k or anything that’s still being worked on, but your story hooked me almost instantly! I really liked the description and decided to give it a try and I’m so glad I did. The detailed descriptions you give pull me into the story and the way you seamlessly switch points of view feels so natural. I just wanted to let you know how much I’m enjoying reading so far and I’m excited for more! ❤️

AW TYSM😭😭 this means a lot, esp since ive been kinda self conscious about the length of my fic lately (and also how long its gonna end up being once im actually done LMFAO) and ik my chapters have gotten ginormous BAHAHA so im glad that even if you don't usually read long stuff you still gave my fic a try and enjoyed it so much + are looking forward to more!!💖💖so ty again😭🙏 AND as usual i'll be using this to answer other asks:

thank you and AA im glad to hear it!! a lot of people have been telling me ive been inspiring them to draw lately and i love it (im just sorry i dont have any concrete tips to give people other than keep practicing LOL) but good luck and i hope you keep at it!!🥰🥰

GIRL IDK, IDEK HOW LONG THE STORY IS GONNA BE, but assuming im still brainrotted even when its done then YEAH u wouldnt be able to stop me if you tried😊 (im glad you like them so much as well, ty!!😭)

thank you!! and yes i usually have at least a vague idea of what i want in the story before i start, though a lot of it didn't become concrete until i started writing/things evolving from there. i made a big (slightly) vague timeline of the entire fic from beginning to (almost) end, and then i keep fleshing it out from there as the ideas keep coming to me/evolving, and for each chapter i make an even more detailed outline, and THEN i get started on the final chapter. so its a bit of a process bahaha, but the brainstorming is really fun!! as for any advice, im not sure. maybe just brainstorm/write down scenes and ideas that you know for a fact that you want to put in your fic, and then try to find a way to connect them to other scenes from there and work backwards. basically WRITE WHAT YOU WANT TO READ, cuz like im my own biggest fan fr, thats the most important part LMAO

LMFAO speaking of outlining future events.....this may or may not happen in the future/in an epilogue when clora is pregnant and she got those pregnant woman hormones that seb is fighting for his LIFE to keep up with HAHAHA

ive been drawing since i was 4 years old so...a while. LOL. and if you even look back to the beginning of my blog, my first drawings of seb were SO UGLY💀💀 so if you just keep drawing you constantly get better naturally (also in response to the other ask you sent as well, i use clip studio paint to draw!)

AW TYYY. AND YES CLORA WILL HAVE ANOTHER MC MOMENT, the ranrok confrontation is still coming, after all...👀👀 and true, idek who would win if clora and seb duelled again with neither of them holding back, but u are so right. even if clora DID win that would do nothing to change sebs mind about how protective he is LMFAO. THANK YOU AGAIN im glad you like my fic + drawings so much!!💖💖

BAHAHAH in my fic (for smut reasons and so that they could be 17 when they did the nasty) i made clora's bday april 3rd and sebs february 12, so clora is an aries and seb is an aquarius (and yes i just checked and apparently they ARE compatible, so seb can rest. also i just read up on aquarius and damn it unintentionally suits seb so well?? LOL "Aquarius is undoubtedly the most innovative, progressive, rebellious, and humanitarian. " and "They have incredible energy, though they may not always use it wisely. They find it easy to get through life on charm and good looks." LMFAO. ok king we love that

#ask #THERES STILL SOME I HAVENT REPLIED TO BUT JUST KNOW I APPRECIATE THEM ALL💖💖

[lifeandlies-of-regulusblack]

I DONT MEAN TO BUTT IN BUT CANARY REGULUS AND THE MINER ANALOGY IS KILLING ME ITS SO BLACK BROTHERS CODED

Sirius being the miner that is working and breathing in dirt and coal because grimmauld place is so suffocating but at least he has his little canary to sing to him and make him feel loved during a dark time in their lives

THEN THE CAVE?! THE LAST SONG HE’LL SING?!?

It’s a lullaby that Sirius taught him after especially rough nights.

it’s out there, in the air, in the cool breeze, he just hopes it’s able to reach his brother one last time as a final I love you.

In reference to this post.

@rizzulusarcturizz see this? This is the brainrot u inspire. You and your messed up aus about regulus.

Canary!regulus is from Morgan's discord au, where reg is a seer with a canary animagus. The metaphor really sticks because of how regulus is so attuned to death. When he gets to the cave, he knows he's going to die.

And my answer to Morgan's ask was just me, losing my mind, yet again, about how coal miners back in the day would grow so attached to the little birds they carried with them into the depths of the earth. The mines were dark and miserable. They were breathing in toxic dust, doing back breaking work. And all they had was this little bird singing them songs.

I think. I think what this means is that we're all thinking about the black brothers 24/7.

Everybody say: thank you morgan 😲🎶

In an effed up way yeah... It really was his last i love you to the people he loves.

[biggiedraws]

hi its 3am and im brainrotting again. can we talk about the first time we see dazai and chuuya interact? the scene where dazai gets caught by the mafia and chuuya comes to taunt him while hes chained to the wall? rewatching it after knowing their full history..... like. they started working together when they were children. fought side by side for YEARS. sure, they bickered the entire time, but chuuya explicitly put his life in dazais hands on multiple occasions. they claim to hate each other, but their actions speak otherwise. they were PARTNERS. the deadly duo. soukoku. THEN dazai disappears for like a year or two? (i forget the timeline but im pretty sure its around that.) [EDIT: four years. four years???? oh my god. cant believe i was so far off. dont post things at 3am lmao. ty @azapofinspiration] just fucking drops off the face of the earth. and chuuya claims he celebrated when dazai left- in fact, he probably did! but you know he missed him. you KNOW. he just wont admit it to himself

and now, after dazai has been missing for a substantial amount of time, hes back. playing for the enemy team. can you fucking IMAGINE this from chuuyas perspective????? god, id be FURIOUS. [well. id be feeling a lot of things. but anger is easier than unpacking all of that.] and he also knows that dazai is too smart to be captured by the mafia, so he goes to give him a piece of his mind, ask him what his fucking deal is, and finally be the one picking on HIM for once. let out some of the frustration [and definitely no other feelings] from his former partner betraying him, disappearing, and then showing up again a year later. and then what actually happens? dazai reads him like a fucking book, taunts him with the opportunity to kill him, blackmails him for information, and then reveals that he could have just left at any time but he SPECIFICALLY waited to fuck with chuuya. and then humiliates him on the way out! the absolute DISRESPECT.

and like. not only is this an EXCELLENT introduction to their relationship- it establishes that they know each other very well, they used to be partners but now theyre enemies, and that the hostility between them is very familiar- but it gets SO MUCH FUNNIER with the full context. like dazai doing All That is disrespectful enough, but this is after he: left the mafia without so much as a goodbye, BLEW UP CHUUYAS CAR, disappeared for FOUR YEARS, then silently reappeared as a member of an enemy organization? the absolute AUDACITY. no wonder chuuya threatened to kill him!

and then. and THEN. chuuya STILL uses corruption the next time they meet. WHAT.

and its because no matter how much bullshit chuuya puts up with, he KNOWS that dazai has his back when it really counts. even after ALL OF THAT, he still trusts dazai with his LIFE. ohhhhh my god i need to lie down. they make me ILL

#i swear im gonna keep making these until ive rambled about every second they spend on screen together #no one is doing it like them #makes me think of a tag i keep seeing on ao3 -> #soukokus bizarre mating rituals #like yeah. yeah thats exactly it #bsd #skk #bungou stray dogs #soukoku

[easy-revenge]

hey!! idk if tumblr ate my ask, the himeno brainrot has faded or if you just didn’t feel like it (which is so valid lmao no worries) but i would love to hear your headcanons for her!! xx

hiii so sorry !! i actually started answering ur ask when i was on vacation a couple weeks back and then i didnt have enough ideas and put it in my drafts....and to no one's surprise i forgot about it lmao so thank u for reminding me !!

also i can't NOT have himeno brainrot atp don't worry heheh

however im afraid I won't deliver too much on this bc instead of like individual headcanons ive mostly just filled in the blanks that canon left with my own things (often self-indulgent) and made up a life for himeno which i now basically treat as canon lmao (yes this is delusion central)

i will attempt this though but fair warning that a lot of the behaviors and things i associate with her aren't very wholesome or a jolly good time (i suffer daily with this brain)

(cw for mentions of addiction and a lil bit of drugs, i promise it gets more lighthearted after the first few ones lmao)

so, starting off strong, I don't think himeno spends a lot of her time sober. namely, i headcanon her almost always running on some kind of buzz. i think it's established that she handles her liquor well so i dont think it would be noticeable at work, but considering she trained under kishibe for a long time, i can see her having a flask of her own and sipping at it throughout the day.

in the same spirit, i think she would also take any opportunity to properly get wasted. friday nights with aki at her apartment, outings with the people from work etc, especially if she doesn't have work in the morning. i think maybe she believes she's more fun to be around when drunk.

i don't think these behaviors are about entertainment, but rather a way she's found to be more "functional" and able to keep doing what she does and uphold the carefree persona she's established, hence incorporating them into her life to the point of very rarely being stone cold sober.

i think she also doesn't like the idea of her family knowing about how she copes. maybe she doesn't answer her father's phonecalls sometimes, scared of sounding too noticeably drunk at noon on a tuesday. or she's often stressed about her sister's occasional surprise visits in case she comes over and finds himeno's place in disarray and her in a similar state.

apart from alcohol, which is basically canon, i once had a thought about himeno occasionally abusing pills. pain meds prescribed for recovering from a work injury hitting just right paired with some beer on the side one evening and boom yk. i bet it wouldn't be too hard for her, considering her line of work, to get her hands on opioids regularly enough, especially since the story is set in the 90s and doctors used to prescribe them left and right before the amount of patients getting dependent skyrocketed.

to complete the holy trinity of vices, again based on things mentioned in canon, i think himeno is also the type of person to sleep around a lot with distraction being the objective. she has a reputation for getting flirty and handsy with ppl from public safety when drunk and i think that speaks for itself. this is not inherently a vice ofc, but in her case I don't think she engages in this behavior being sound of mind. it almost never happens when she's sober and i headcanon her often regretting it at least briefly the next day.

oof that was a lot lmao. um chill anyways, on a lighter note i have a couple thoughts about her relationship with aki !!

i think it's a habit for them to take care of each other's injuries after missions. im actually writing a fic about aki showing up at himeno's doorstep, bleeding and expecting to be taken care of in his own begrudging, stuck up way lmao. i think himeno is less likely to straight up go to his house for that, but i see them leaving public safety and going home together to shower and bandage their wounds in companionable silence.

additionally to that whole thing, i personally do believe that their relationship could've had a non-platonic side to it, albeit still casual in its nature. leaving that aside, i think they share quite a bit of affection and physical touch regardless, considering how casually we see them invading each other's personal space in canon. so i think they sleep in the same bed a lot, after tending to each other's wounds, or getting too drunk in himeno's living room. i think it took a while for aki to stop being tense and relax into it, but they settled into a comfortable zone and it was sth they both needed more than they would ever admit.

fujimoto once talked about himeno and said that she is the type to leave a lot of her stuff behind at aki's place and u better believe i ran with it. clothes, hair brushes, a spare toothbrush in the bathroom, you can't change my mind. i also think that to some extent it goes both ways. himeno has a shitload of aki's tupperware at her place, from all the food he brings her weekly, and she never washes them unless aki comes over to do it himself and by the time he decides to take some back, there's always more. black hair ties are often littered in her bathroom cabinets and on one of her night stands. a book on her windowsill that aki brought to read before bed once and then never took home.

not to get dark again, but talking about them is bound to make me sad sooner or later :) based on the way she thinks about aki's death in canon, i think she would often panic when thinking about aki's shrivelling lifespan, especially at the beginning when aki had a lot of years to spare and surely used the sword more freely. i imagine her being restless in her bed with aki sleeping next to her, feeling compelled to check on his breathing or his pulse. reach over and touch his hand to feel him alive and warm, hoping it would soothe her to sleep.

i also think she's there a lot of the times aki cries. i bet the first time she saw him was accidental, or at least not a conscious decision on aki's part. i also bet himeno didn't really know what to think of it initially, but soon looked at aki under a different light bc of it. i think aki finds comfort in himeno being in the same room as the tears spill from his eyes after a day of watching people die. and i think himeno loves giving him that, even though it tugs at her chest in uncomfortable ways she can't quite point out.

i feel compelled to but i won't go into the whole being in love with aki situation, because first of all its not even a headcanon but very much there and secondly i will ramble indefinitely about how i think her pining for him would manifest and this is already a huge post god bless

on a slightly different note before i bring this to a close, i like thinking about her bond with kishibe a lot as well. it's not shown enough in the anime or manga, but i imagine them being friends. i think they would go out for drinks but more to talk than get wasted. i think they'd have the capacity to talk about very real things but also nothing at all. kishibe might be the only person himeno talks to properly about aki, aside from her letters to her sister, because he shares the same life as her and inevitably has more space tl understand. maybe kishibe gets to talk a bit about quanxi too.

haha oh well :D that's all i have for now. if u read this far thank you and also im sorry lmao. hadn't sat down to microwave himeno like this in a hot minute i loved getting the opportunity to do it so thanks for the ask anon !! till next time ~

#answered #take a shot every time u read the word think in this #its 5am bear with me #himeno #himeno chainsaw man #akimeno #aki hayakawa #chainsaw man #chainsaw man headcanons #himeno headcanons #akimeno headcanons #csm

[ryndicate]

describe your moots in one word?

Oh shit here we go.

I scrolled down my following list so if we're moots and you're not here it's literally bc I probably don't believe you follow me bc I have set you on a pedestal of some kind. And if you're on here and we're not actually moots it's probably just because I really really like you and your blog 😅

@dark-mnjiro ~ psychic. Lee somehow knows what I like without me having to say anything, sends me manga panels that have me climbing walls when i’m on the cusp of zoning from boredom, and introduces me to characters that turn me into some kind of feral territorial creature howling to the gods about my love for a character ive literally seen two pics of. We went from non interactive moots not knowing each other to talking all the time on discord within a few conversations and now im like what would I do without this friendship? 

@knchins ~ supportive! We haven't been moots very long at all but you've been kind to me and my writing manic keysmashes despite the short time, but thats the vibe I've gotten! And you are responsible to turning my mind toward spoiled Reo brainrot, i dont think i will ever thank you enough for Renunion hehehe

@boosyboo9206 ~ safe. It's really easy to talk back and forth with you and i love the way my heart flutters when send me puppy pics and art of my favorite pairings because that alone tells me that you’re thoughful enough to be thinking of me, and I’m so grateful that you don't judge me for being so awful with communication lol.

@kingkatsuki / @kingkunigami ~ assertive. its like jo really has her own brand and always just seems so unshakable, has the patience to respond to the constant stream of blank blogs asking why they’ve been blocked like its not obvious already. i love knowing when i go to her blog that im going to see her being herself. on top of her fabulous writing of course, im on her blog more than its healthy to admit.

@killsaki ~ real. Every time i’m scrolling their blog i find something to either cackle or bite my fist about. Dal is my favorite blog for unfiltered thoughts about their faves and just their life in general. if we met in real life im dead certain they’d be a friend i could count on to call me on my bullshit

@cyancherub ~ vibrant. Everything cass does is done brightly with all of her love. Her interactions with her followers are so lovely and its easy to see how much she enjoys hearing from everyone. And I can trust her to put her whole pussy into any of her fixations, and her fixations are ~top~ tier. While you were sleeping is still easily my favorite thing she’s ever written, ive read it through like 4x and it still leaves me breathless with its characterizations, the descriptions that im not sure she was even breathing as she wrote them, the energy is so wild and intense, and yet how well thought out everything is on top of it! 

@iwaasfairy ~ talentedddd. Fairy is either making me wet with her writing or leaving me soaked with her art, living the life of being amazing at more than one creative outlet. I thank the universe that we’re friends and that she trusts me enough to send me the snippets that she’s working on and letting me howl at her in discord about how awesome her shit is. I get some of the first looks and I’m damn proud of that hehehe.

[poppunkpie]

hii hello hiii can you tell more about your writing process? :3c what are the stages? are there any writing principles for your process? what's the most enjoyable thing? :3c

hello eldritch!! omg im so sorry for the delay in answering... lol i didn't expect work to suddenly be so busy lol but anyway!!

so there are two main ways that a fic idea comes together for me: a) it's the theme/thesis statement that comes to me first. this comes to me in a lot of different ways... it could be a line from a song or an excerpt from a poem or a similar adjacent theme i take from a different piece of media that i feel i can apply to a certain ship/character that i am brainrotting about at the moment. ex. my favorite and most recent example of this would be scaramouche x from under the cork tree by fall out boy (lol) the theme i put together there was rly just... that desperation of so badly wanting something to be completely about yourself for once (and almost narcissistically/unhealthily so) because you've never had anything at all. i just thought it's a very specific... almost manic feeling that i can definitely picture scara experiencing.

b) it's one very specific scene that comes to me, and from there, i try to fill in the blanks/puzzle pieces in the plot (with other scenes) of how everything builds up to that one scene. when i have all of that down, it becomes a little easier for me to fill in the blanks of what exactly happens/how the fic ends after that one scene.

most of the time, it's a combination of these two ways of idea-gathering for me... mostly it's the theme that comes first, but there are other times that it's the specific scenes that come first and when it's the latter, they don't really come together /thematically/ until i'm already somewhere in the middle of writing. this ideation process is what i consider most important because honestly... i really only have two stages in writing (lol) which are: ideation and then the writing itself. bc basically, the ideation is what gets the fic plot points down... and the writing is really just... me connecting those points/weaving those ideas together...

to put things more concretely, my ideation process is really just... a lot of listing things down and it is admittedly chaotic... it could be scene ideas (or a sequence of them) as simple as 'scara spots aether in the crowd' but bc im a mess it usually becomes a long bullet that also includes the unsaid implications in that said scene like so:

scara spots aether in the crowd looking back at him and he fixates on it bc it feels like for the first time, someone actually /sees/ and wants to look at him

ideas i list down could also be specific lines that i imagine a specific character saying or even a few dialogues of script between characters. there's also just lots of random stuff related to how i want to describe dynamics and characters i list down like 'heiscara friendship with lots of annoying smart banter' or 'scara is a skater in this one' or 'aether listens to taylor swift but lumine doesn't' (lol)' or 'scara is like [insert fall out boy song here]'

~ as for writing principles... ig i only rly have this in mind at the moment: balance out poetry and prose - uhh i dont think i ever write anything that doesn't end up with a motif that ties in with the theme... i like metaphors a lot bc i feel they help describe feelings more accurately... but i also try to make sure that these metaphors are just simple but clever enough?? uhh... i kinda think of writing metaphors as cracking a joke... if it's too cerebral, the punchline might not /punch/ lol but if it's too straightforward... it might not work in capturing a certain idea or feeling... as for my personal preference in my own writing... i like to phrase things bluntly while still making metaphors in that tone so its not cerebrally intimidating... err im not sure how to explain that more elaborately here lol uhh but heres one of my favorite more recent examples from something i wrote abt scara talking about ei:

She has acknowledged me in a way that she believes it's her sister who should be alive instead of me, as if I had taken the life of someone else simply by being born into the world. (I'm not a killer— or at least I wasn't born one, and as far as I know, the blood on my hands is usually my own.)

~ as for the most enjoyable thing about it... well i would say it's definitely writing metaphors lol and then making sure how that ties coherently and cleverly with the theme and the vibe of the ship dynamic/character i'm centering the fic on... i dont think i ever write without an overarching theme or a metaphor for this reason... even when i just want the characters to kiss... its corny but i always need the kiss to feel like its situated in the grander scheme of things and feelings skksks

#asks #fic writing

[bookinit02]

HI im so sorry i just finished reading the e4 script and i am just . fuckign speechless i cant articulate at all lol it was soo amazing when i finished i needed to stare at a wall for like three minutes straight just to process hang on one sec hang on a minute let me uh let me jsut two seconds here hangn on HDSHHSDCHSCSCVGSCVGDVGSCDCGSXCGXSCXSCGSGSCGCGHCXGHCGXHCHXHXFFHCHXD#DFFDCEFHDFSNCNKSDCNJDSTHFH3489FDJNHJFVDSHJFDHSDFDHVHGSDCVDGHC489FHJHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i am literally SO OBSESSED you are such a talented writer and im so sorry once again for dumping all my thoughts in ur askbox especially when most are just incoherent but i have so many of them 😭 and this has been on my mind like all day lmao chewing on drywall actually<3333

okay first of all i LOVE HOW EVERYTHING IS COMING TOGETHER IT'S SO INTERESTING all the little plotlines feed into the bigger ones,,,,,, th hive mind isn't toxic plot which means SHITT vecna isnt trying to kill them he's trying to do something Else WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT PLOT TWISTS AAAAAAA and the back-and-forth between dustin and robin, the reveal that vecna was trying to force someone out ("where's will?")CHILLS. THE CHILLS. GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD it was so cool omgg omgomgomg. also max's storyline is literally INSANE i am SO INVESTED and i love how you've handled it so far i can't wait to see where you're gonna go with it!! <3 like. LIGHT. run the other way run to the light,,,, and the whole thing with TERRY is so genius it all makes so much sense but i never saw it coming and it was just SOOO SICK to see play out on the script i was on the edge of my damn seat the whole time you are literally SO TALENTED i am yelling sosososo loud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kind of continuing on from that i love all the references to past seasons :D the heart motif with lumax and byler has me in a chokehold btw grnjfrgnjfdjknnfjdgvknjkgfdjnkhehe!!!!!!! and the "you can leave, it's---" the rain is DEAFENING. will FLINCHES. THE RAIN SCENE??? also HELLOOOOOOO EMOTIONAL RAIN SCENE i think i can speak for all of us when i say im FLOOORED!!!!! gahhhhhh I CANT I ACTUALLY CANNOT YOURE AMAZING AND SO IS YOUR WRITING!!! plus the curiosity voyage WHO CHEERED :)

the. the byler quarry scene i. the lead up to it was INCREDIBLE and the gut punch sliding down walls head in hands heartwrenching 1000year brainrot is REAL because it has been my resting state since i read it when it dropped!!!!!! <3 basically my quick review is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and woag the slightly less quick review is also AAAAAokay no im kidding dont worry i have soo many thoughts head FULL girl i am so unwell over it "stay" THE CHEEK TOUCH THE HAND OVER HEART THE "i cant" and then it's TOO LATE.throwing up!!!!!THROWING UP and the jump and the running start and the rainstorm as a whole i am . I AM !!!!!!!! I AM SOOOOOOqhjwhjsdhjjhdjhdsjwjsdjhhjdhjehjwejhogufdoudfgjgdfjjwhdjhd dyinf a thousand deaths passing away rn

ANYWAYYY looking back on this i realize how long it is I AM SO SORRY JESUS😭😭😭 but yeah thats my roundabout way of letting you know that this rewrite and the s5 plot and scripts and fic and shoutout to the characterization which you NAILED it's absolutely EVERYTHINGGGG okay i promise im done now im so sorry like i said this got Way Unreasonably Long but thank you sosososo much for sharing this with us i hope you have a great rest of your day!! :D

this is the comment that made me cry at work btw so please never apologize for it being long😭😭 this was soooooo nice of you and it makes me so happy to know that all the work i put into these scripts is being recognized!!

one of the biggest challenges of this script has definitely been all the intersecting plot lines. i’ve never really attempted anything this expansive or complicated before, so there’s definitely a learning curve to it! i’m glad you’re enjoying it so far. & while i don’t think this plot twist is one of my best by any means, and honestly i wasn’t even thinking about it as a plot twist, i’m still glad you liked it! i really adore writing plot twists, and i love the feeling you get when reading something that has been so cleverly executed. it’s really the same feeling that i strive to emulate in all my fics!

i just said this in another ask, but i am SO psyched about max’s plot. i was really stuck on what to do with her, but i didn’t want to sideline her. pairing her up with terry was something that i never considered, but i literally had a revelation one night and was like oh my god that’s PERFECT!! & i haven’t seen anyone else do anything even moderately close, so i’m very excited to try something new.

i love a good reference!! parallels make my heart so happy. or so sad. depending on the circumstance. the rain fight one was a little bit evil, i’ll admit. the curiosity voyage was a lot more fun!

i was also unwell over the quarry scene. i literally cried writing it. i had to take multiple breaks. just ask suni i was SO unwell oh my god😭 so i’m right there with you.

again, please don’t apologize!!! this was incredibly kind of you, and it makes me so unbelievably happy to get comments on my script. this is an episode that i was insanely proud of, and i’m really happy that everyone has enjoyed it so much. thank you so much for all your kind words!!💗🫂

#script comments #asks #god this is so sweet what if i cried #again

[anotherduckinthedepths]

Here be the den of someone who's interests always find a way back to Minecraft, one way or another

Anyhow, hello, I'm Depths! (It might change later just warning you) I go by she/her pronouns and enjoy drawing + rambling about things I find interesting.

This blog is for those drawings and ramblings, specifically those tied to the QSMP, DSMP, Sbi, mcyt in general, and maybe some ranboo content if Im feeling like it, I'm generally open for interactions with others! (Granted I'm not the best at initiating interactions) I only ask that you both respect the DNI list below DNI: -NSFW Blogs - TERFs, Racists, Homophobes, just be nice to people please (I hope this is unnecessary but better safe than sorry) - Those who support death threats/doxxing towards ANY content creators ("but you don't like (Insert cc here)", doesn't matter, no death threat/doxxing for ANY of them, full stop, you can dislike people without threatening their lives or the lives of those around them) And please do not harass me or anyone else who might pop up here just on the stance that we happen to enjoy a game and a story that is unfortunately connected to some well-known but divisive people online. Important addition, do not feel afraid to interact if you happen to like the characters played by ccs I dont like/support ! I'm not gonna shoo you away, I see them as seperate entities, like a character in a movie and the actor that plays them who exists outside of that, to do otherwise would be hypocritical of me. I want to try and make this blog as welcoming as I can to fellow fans regardless of how I view things, I do not seek to change anyone's mind and make them agree with me, I just wanna provide silly content to whoever enjoys it. Important tags #Depth's Art or #Depth's AU Art - Drawings I have done on this blog, from sketches to fully-fleshed out art pieces (if I ever do that), the latter is used for drawings regarding AUs I have. #Depth rambles - Random silly thoughts. #Serious Depth mode - Mainly got this up in the event of more serious posts, likely focusing on issues/discourse in the fandom and/or just how it affects me. I dont imagine I'll use this often but I feel like I'll end up having to use it at least once to explain my view of things. If you'd rather avoid seeing discussion around this I would suggest blocking this tag. #Depth's OCs - The tag for my OCs, more than likely minecraft related. #Depth's Brainrot About Jubilant - A specific tag for a very specific character that's on the border between AU character and OC (if you don't feel comfortable seeing posts about them due to the character they're an AU version of (hint- 🟩 :) ) I completely understand and you're more than welcome to block this tag)

_______ I have had some AUs cooking up in my brain and may post about them on this blog, when this happens I will list them down here and provide the tag it's assigned if you want to see my posts for it. Unnamed Superhero Warlock AU (Features c!dream and XD as main antagonists for the most part) (Important Note - This AU is right now kinda in-between being an AU and an original work, it's definetely still in AU territory rn, but I'm thinking of trying to make it it's own thing) The superpowered world all knows and looks up to Pantheon, a long-lasting group of individuals granted with two powers instead of one, what the public mostly doesn't know is that this comes at the cost of becoming a servant to an entity beyond comprehension, and becoming nothing more than a puppet to serve it's desires to invade and control the material plane. Kristin is one of these members of the current Pantheon, tied to a entity of the afterlife, she's long been resigned to her destiny as Lady Death, she is doomed to hunt criminals (or just those who know too much) and those she's sent after are doomed to never escape, none she has been sent after even managing to escape one encounter with her. ... until a man soon to be named Sisyphus manages to get away. Tag - #Unnamed Superhero Warlock AU QSMP Pokemon Mystery Dungeon AU Exactly what it says on the tin, an AU where the players are humans turned into Pokemon and are now stranded in a large remote island in the Pokemon world. Littered with Mystery Dungeons and various other dangers that threaten both them and the pokemon they've been given to care for. Tag - #qsmp pmd au

#qsmp #mcyt #dsmp #qsmp fanart #dsmp fanart #sbi fanart #Unnamed Superhero Warlock AU #Depth's Art #Depth's AU Art #Depth rambles

[himbos-hotline]

To you I'm just a man [to me you're all I am]

Context: Hangman does pottery and reflects on his relationship with Kenny after all out while alone on his family farm. Hangman has issues and talks to a horse instead of a therapist. Takes place after the match against FTR in 2020. Word count: 7165 words Characters: "Hangman" Adam Page, Kenny Omega, the Jackson brothers. Mentions of Beth Pheonix [She's adam coles mother in a kid AU my big sibling and I are writing- kinda- but yeah. This could be seen as a spin off of that universe. I dont fuckin know.] Kaden the Horse, authors note: I have brainrot...I need mental help. But we all been knew. Triggers: suicide mention, self harm, breakups, A quick mention of parent death. Tiny mention of smut but no actual fucking. I think thats about it. Yeh... AO3

"I'll catch you." and Adam believed him. His voice is calm and heavy with gasping breaths and promise dances across the three simple words. And so he trusts him, he jumps and surrenders himself over to the glorious freefall of love and when Kenny whispers it in his ear again it's cold. It smacks him back into reality and he lays against the concrete of realness feeling betrayed and tricked.

He fell like a suicidal stranger and landed in the emptily cold arms of a man who peiced his shattered heart together again.

He tries not to think about it while he kneads the tough clay between his clammy hands, feeling it weave between his fingers. His knuckles are bruised and the small cuts sting as clay clings itself to his fingers. He had taken pottery up as a child, finding it easier to bury his hands into the dirty water instead of letting them shake by his sides as he stumbled uselessly over his words. His mother had smiled as he dug his chubby fingers into the clay and left behind small half moons and misplaced thumbprints. Somewhere in his distant memory, he remembers sitting on the floor of the old family farm, watching the small mugs harden in the oven, cheap paint cracking in a way that seems almost human.

The wheel in front of him creaks and a small, childish smile paints itself across Adam's face as he places the kneaded clay down and digs his nails into the familiarity of it all. Sitting in his old kitchen, the sound of farm animals outside the open window and the smell of clay and pottery paint scalding his nostrils with every steady intake of air. His mind drifts while he works, brushing his thumb over the rim of a mug. It leaves behind a dent and it makes Adam frown, his lips pressed into a tight grimace of understanding.

Everything he makes is broken. There's messy rims on plates with holes in and mugs where their handles sag somewhat off to the side. He leaves behind parts of himself in his creations. Useless creations made by a broken man who is cursed to always be alone. The last bird in the nest, watching fearfully as his friends fly away, leaving him empty and nervously alone; never to be remembered. Never to be missed. The water is cold against his fingers as he plunges them in to soften the clay more. Watered down clay splashes against his face and he narrows his eyes, ignoring the feeling of realness it gives him as he works. His fingers shift too heavily and his creation comes tumbling down like a shattered mirror and without thinking he slams his fists against the broken mixture. Clay sprays everywhere and as he leans his forehead against his fists, he can hear his mothers voice humming distantly in the back of his head.

“Adam, sweetheart, it's okay to make mistakes.” His mother tells him in his mind, kneeling in front of him and using her fingers to part blond hair away from his face. Slowly he raises his eyes and blinks slowly, wishing that his mother was here to hold his face in her hands, to tell him that he’s still her little cowboy. That he's not a failure. He smiles at his mothers pride in him and sighs. Beth was a mother who saw the best in her son, the one person who believed that he was good. That betrayal wasn’t weaved into his soul. He wishes he could believe the voice now as he stretches sore arms and swallows the taste of tears back down into his stomach.

He gathers the broken bits of clay and presses them together, making a wet ball in his hands before standing up and tossing the clay into the nearest trash can. “Destined to fail this time huh?” He muses, talking to nobody in particular. Maybe to himself, maybe to the discontinued idea for an artwork that sits melting over takeaway containers and beer bottles.

Failure is a part of him, weaved so deeply into his existence that it paints a dark cloud across every relationship he makes. Every friendship falls through his fingers like the sands of time and no matter how tightly he tries to cling onto the good moments eventually they disappear. Melting away like the last remains of winter as the sun rises again to kiss the earth. Adam fails, he sits and lets his emotions control his mind, blood drips itself slowly down his arm and in his blood, Adam tells a story. He tells a story of a man too good to be forgotten but too evil, too foolishly shattered to be remembered.

People want to remember him. That’s what Kenny told him the last time they spoke. He had on the kitchen counter, rolling one of the mugs Hangman had made in school. Tracing broken nails across the messy text of ‘best mom’. “What's with the fingerprint?” He had asked with a softness in his voice that made Page feel warm in his stomach.

“I leave a part of myself in everything I do.” He places his arm around Kenny’s middle and lays his head against his shoulder. “Ma used to like hearts so I made one with my fingerprint.” His nail traces over the whorls and there's a distant gleam to his eyes that makes Kenny smile and bury his lips into the curls of his hair.

“When mom died, she kept everything the way it was. So part of me lived on as people moved in and out of this place- family mostly. They would always pick up the mugs and talk about how small whoever made the mug hands was back then or how it looked; innocent and brilliant and strangely real.” Hangman keeps his eyes closed as he talks, thumb running itself over Kenny’s wrist. “I was some kind of anonymous artist.”

Kenny takes his chin in his hand, calloused fingertips digging gently into the scruff of his beard. “Hanger, Lover boy. Everyone should know you. You're talented and smart and outstanding in the ring. You are good Adam, and I love you..” His words are painted with a truth and slowly Adam opens his eyes and leans his lips against Kenny’s too stunned to form sentences, that tells Kenny just how wrong he is, how his heart had clouded his mind.

Adam sighs, the taste of Kenny’s words buzzing distantly on his lips and if he leans his head against the window, he can almost feel the other man's eyes boring into his neck as he washes the clay out from under his nails. But Kenny isn’t watching him, he's alone with nothing but sheep and horses to watch him as emotions brew behind cloudy eyes. He had fought against Kenny and the two of them have merged together, falling for each other the way someone falls for a favorite song, quick enough that the first few beats send their brain into a cloudy euphoria that sends time spiraling into obscurity. They lay against each other the night they won the tag tiles, pupils dilated with joy. Kenny leaned closer and he couldn't control himself. Adam leans closer and tastes the last stray strands of mint on his breath that he gasped into his parted lips. The two of them merge and shift like their two lost halves finally finding each other again and Adam becomes addicted to the way his name sounds on Kenny’s moans.

The suddenly scalding water against his hands pushes the memories to the back of Adam’s mind as he pulls his hands back and groans as pain rushes against his arm. All out had taken too much out of his body and two days later, he’s still suffering the effects; sore, tired muscles and a headache that he cannot seem to shake. It reminds him that history has once again repeated itself.

He had been left laying on the ground, blood and sweat mixing against the dirty ring mat. It was always the same. Adam was always the one who is left alone as darkness creeps in, brushing its cold, dead hands across the pulsepoint of his neck, puppeting him until he’s sitting alone at a bar, staring down at the bar through a half empty glass of whiskey, its smokey woodness a bitter sickness on his tongue.

It had happened with the Elite more times than Page could count and it's always the same tale that he could tell strangers it; they leave him laying in the dust and color him in with disgusted looks and heavy sighs and he pretends to be okay until he gives in and calls Matt, begging them to be friends against and eventually Matt gives in and smooths his racing mind until he’s smiling. The Elite break him over and over again, handing him his heart back in shattered sections and Adam sits, alone and confused, putting the bits back together, licking at the blood that drips steadily from his fingers as he mends the fractured friendships. The Dark Order are better but they do the same but they're kinder. They sit him down and tell him about his issues.

Issues that he stares at in the bathroom mirror. Issues that date back to the incurable sickness that dates back to the Bullet Club. A poison that drips into each of its members and never leaves their bloodstreams. No matter how much is spilled, it clings to the inside of peoples arteries until it kills their bodies, their careers and then they move on to another broken minded individual. Adam Page’s connection with the Bullet Club lies dormant until it digs its venom smudged fangs into his mind and he messes up again. He fucks up enough that he looses everything. He comes so close and then tumbles through the sky like Icraus, screaming helplessly as his wax wings melt and he once again tumbles trapped in bottles of whiskey and darkness.

“Adam c’mon you're better than this.” He reminds himself as he climbs the stairs and falls face first into bed. It complains under the sudden weight and he takes a slow breath counting the seconds that fall as he breaths. His dirty jeans itch against his legs and he knows he should change, but emotional exhaustion brings sleep to the forefront of his brain, eyes suddenly heavy in the darkness. Adam rolls over, hair brushes against his face and buries his nose into his pillows.

He’s back in the ring, sweat coating a second skin against his stinging flesh and guilty tears put pressure behind his nose that makes him want to yelp. His legs are trembling under his wrestling gear, why can’t he stand? He wants to cry but when he opens his mouth and blinks his eyes, nothing comes out. The world blurs as he moves, kneeling in the middle of the ring, whimpering. There’s a heavy sigh and the sound of angry footsteps that make the ringmat shake and it makes his eyes snap upwards, pupils tight and constricted. “Kenny-?” He gasps out his name like it's holy water falling onto his lips and he begs Kenny to look at him. Page raises his hand helplessly and Kenny’s eyes chill to an icy emptiness that makes Hangman's blood run cold in his veins.

Kenny holds a table above his head, the thick wood and heavy metal legs clinting like a dagger in the arena lights. Hangman rocks forward, shaking legs screaming and he grabs onto Kennys leg. Kenny steps away like Adam has burned him and he raises the table Adam feels it connects against his skull. Screaming in pain he rocks backwards onto his ankles. He feels like he's falling and while he yells, the world falls away from him like the tumbling of dying rose petals. The room falls dark and in the silence Adam feels hands, hands brushing against his throbbing head, cold and innocent as fingers wrap around his hair. A pair of lips brush against his neck and it takes all his remaining strength not to gasp at the surprise. It’s calm and more hands join, pressing down against his burning skin, soothing the blooming bruises and allowing his blood to weave itself around their fingers. It's only when he hears a voice, empty, soulless and distant, does color snap into the world.

He’s sitting in the corner of the elite's locker room, lips sewn together and chest dripping blood. He raises a hand and feels around his bloodstained shirt, his heart lays empty and pulsing on his lap and Adam feels sick, vomit burning his throat. “Adam is so fucking annoying.” Kenny complains with a sigh, not looking up from his switch. The Bucks nod in agreement and chuckle when Kenny shifts to lay upside down.

“He’s always so-” Nick starts waving his hand as he walks, trying to pick the right word out from. His eyes shine with anger as he spits out. “Anxious. Childish.”

“Hes so fucking useless.” Matt mumbles from the floor behind the couch. He has an ice pack laying across his face and Hangman leans forwards, fighting to open his mouth. They’re his friends. They don’t mean that. Do they?

“I can't believe I actually dated him.” Kenny seems to be recoiling, laughing at their time together where their hearts beat as one continuous tune. He presses his eyebrows together and glares at the direction where Hangman is sitting but his eyes look past him, almost like he doesn't exist. “I told him he mattered, that he’s something more than just some poser with an anxiety disorder.”

There's a collection of laughter and Adam thrashes against the sudden restraints that had wrapped themselves around his wrists, digging heavy and painfully into the already scuffed skin. “It would be better if he didn't even exist. He brings nothing to the world. He should just die, save us all the trouble of fucking dealing with him. It's not like anyone would miss him.”

Kennys words stab his chest like darts. They carve his chest open and Adam screams against his stitched up lips, the sound echoing only in his own mouth. Darkness swirls like cigarette smoke around the corner of his eyes and it's only when the pounding of his separated heart echoes in his ears does Adam sit up, chest heaving and eyes red.

Fearful eyes dart around the sunrise-lit room. It’s not some random hotel room or some stranger's bedroom. It's the same that he’s always been in since he was seven. There’s dirt on the windows, childish handprints and feathers that seemingly clung to his clothes after he came out from the chicken coup, and the sound of his childhood alarm clock ticking on the desk at the opposite end of the room. Adam takes a calming breath and scrubs his fists against his wet face before allowing a trembling hand to reach out and grab his phoneHe presses the power button and it blares into light.

It stings his eyes but at least now he has a reasonable excuse for his tears. He blinks down at his lockscreen and sighs softly, at the time. “Four twenty three.” He grumbles and pulls his pillow over his head. It’s too early to go through his chores on the farm but late enough that going back to sleep means missing his flight. Stubbornly, Adam shifts his legs out from under the covers and pulls his upper body up, squinting as he stares into the sunrise. The nightmare still rings, heavy and raw in the front of his mind, snippets sprint past his eyes whenever he closes them and as he passes the bathroom mirror. He raises his shirt and traces shaking fingers across his chest and sighs in relief when he feels his racing heart pounding under his ribs.

Adam needs to shower. He strips, stopping once again to make sure that the scars on his chest are old, faded into his skin like a bullet hidden in a tree. He reaches out and turns on the water, smiling slightly as the shower creaks into working and for a few seconds the shower runs cold, its old pipes warming up inside the walls of the old farmhouse.

It seems to take forever but finally the water warms up and he steps inside, sighing as the water drums against his skull, sticking his hair to his face. He feels the last wisps of sleep soak away as the water pounds against his shoulders and it sucks the pain out from his bones. With closed eyes and awkwardly controlled breathing he washes his hair and runs a sponge across his tired limbs. The farm crackles to life outside the window and in some distant part of his mind he remembers his mother placing him on the back of the tractor, nestled on hay bails to go and feed the horses. He’d stand on the fence and squeal as horses pressed their nose into the curve of his small hands.

He remembers the ducklings that would follow him, falling over themselves when he stops suddenly. He remembers his mothers soft voice as she fed the pigs, patting them roughly on their behinds. The sound echoes in his mind and soon the nostalgia falls away, the sound of skin connecting with skin starts to sound disastrously more human. Flashes of his nightmare splints through his mind, pinning his closed eyes shut. He sees Kenny rising the table, He spots himself ,sore and tired, kneeling at the feet of a false prophet who he had fought beside. Voices loop around his head and they feel like they're draping nooses around his neck, pressing against his pulse points until his heart swims, frantic and drowning, in his ears.

He knows what's happening. He knows the signs of a panic attack and despite the pain that tightens his chest, Adam knows what to do. He knows that he should open his eyes and focus on his breathing. In for four. Hold for four. Out for four. The same looping pattern until the hands of panic release their grip. But he just can't. His chest feels like it's going to explode if he took too deep of a breath in. His legs tremble under him and he collapses to the bathroom floor with a thud that echoes around him.

Blunt nails dig into the wet skin of his scalp, shaking fingers carving rivets between his hair. Adam grits his teeth and curls into a ball under the warm water, tears running down his face and down the drain. He feels like a silhouette in his own existence when panic attacks happen. They suck the existence from his bones and leave him an empty husk, desperately clinging to any form of humanity. His chest heaves and his mouth runs dry as he sobs. Allowing the tremors to wrack his frame until the shower runs cold before stopping enterly.

He’s not sure how long he stays curled up on the floor, head pressed between his knees and fingers tugging at his hair, goosebumps coat his skin and Adam can do nothing but release a stuttering sigh, his brain works in staccato beats, angry jerks that force his legs out flat in front of him and his fingers digging anxiously into the flesh of his lower arm.

It's inevitable that he would end up like this. His hand shakes against his skin, clawing away at the meat until there's angry red marks that stare up at him like the eyes of a judgemental parent. The pain is normally enough to remind him that he is real and that the panic that feels like it's ripping his very being to pieces is temporary. But it's not this time. His nails dig deeper into the wound and soon there's the feeling of blood under his nails and angry red splotches staring up at him, dark and resentful against the blue floor. Pin-pricked eyes glance around the bathroom, he’s slow, almost cautious as he presses his hand against the wound, grip soft at first until a small voice tells him to squeeze and his grip tightens.

Blood pulses and runs down his arm like rain down a window and for a few seconds, startled and dissociated, Adam can do nothing but watch it as it falls between his fingers and merge into the small puddles of water that sits around him. It takes moments for the wounds to clot, blood stopping and Adam blinks as he forces his fingers to bend. Bloodstained fingers reach up to the shower and press the on button again.

Cold water hits skin and he sits on the floor, holding his arm out like a child who fell off his bike. The water runs pink and then clear and finally Hangman can manage to stagger to his feet and grab a towel. The claw marks sting distantly and stubbornly as he dresses, a constant reminder that he had failed. That he had broken and fell back into the same stupid habit of hurting himself. Because he always has to be the victim. If he’s not the one bleeding, people can’t feel sorry for him and that's all he wants right? He wants people to stare at him with pity in their eyes and apologies that bubble off their lips and float around his head like butterflies.

If he is not the victim then he is useless. Some stupid kid whose too anxious to be a good friend. Someone who, like Kenny said, would be better off dead than clogging up another space in the roster, on the earth.

He swallows and pulls a shirt over his head and lets it fall against his damp chest. Still wet hair sticks to the back of his neck, fluffing as it dries and he's quick to tug it into a ponytail as he squirms into yesterday's jeans. Bare feet and off kitler, Adam opens the curtain and presses his forehead against the frosted glass, it's cold and there and his entire world lays untouched and waiting for him. Through split lips, he breathes a chuckle. It's not a happy sound- it's a wear sound that's borderlining on tears. “At least someone needs ya Hangman huh?”

He pulls on his boots and rolls his neck before opening the door and resigning himself back to his animals. The things that can only hurt him once. Kenny can touch his wrestling career all he wants. Their souls can weave together to build a tapestry that will stand the test of time. But Adam can sit beside the duck pond and listen to the sounds of new life. The world can reclaim him slowly and the animals that sit and watch it happen, can remember him silently.

He’s leaning against the gate to the horse paddock when he next remembers Kenny. It's a quick flash of a memory. The sunlight dancing across his bare back as he hides his face in a pillow. Adam remembers the guilt that seemed to dance in the corner of Kenny’s eyes whenever he would look at Adam, he remembers how good it felt that he was to be loved. That someone needed him. He tries to lean into the memory, fingers reaching out to stroke down Kenny’s spine. He jolts back into the real world when he pokes something soft and tough. “Sorry Kaden.” He whispers sheepishly, patting the horse on the nose. “’M a million miles away.”

Kaden raises his head against his hand and Hangman chuckles. “I know I know. I won’t be away for long. And you and the other guys will have great aunt Mary to look after you guys.” When the horse sighs, Adam leans forward and lays his forehead against its dark brown fur. “I won’t be away for long. Kenny will make sure of that.” The horse seems to neigh in reply, small and quiet and awkward. “Kenny and I ain’t friends at the moment. I lost and he has the right to be angry.” His eyebrows screwed up together as if he had tasted something sour. Kaden bows his head and Hangman takes that as a sign to keep talking. “But people win and lose matches we were…close.” There's a dusting of a blush that grows across the apples of his cheeks and he sighs. “But now he won't talk to me. And I understand why but Kenny was the one that stormed out of the arena! He was the one who left the Bucks behind and I get that the Bucks and I ain't as close as we use’ta be but-” The horse makes a sound and Hangman takes it as a reminder to take a breath. And that's what he does. Closes his eyes and draws a heavy breath of farm air.

“I just wish I was a better friend y’know Kaden?” He asks, blinking confused. “I’m talkin to a horse. What the hell is wrong with me?” He seems to laugh at himself, jolting against the metal bars of the fence when he gets a text from his aunt. She’s standing on the doorstep and the cab that Hangman had called had been sitting outside for the past five minutes. “It’ll all be okay won’t it..” He promises, maybe to himself or maybe to the horse who winnies and trots over to the other side of the field to chew rhythmically at the hay Adam had put up moments ago. His boots click against the stone path as he jogs back into the house and grabs his bags.

“Adam be careful out there honey, call me after you finish work.” His aunt tells him, placing her hand in the small of his back. “Oh Adam. Before you go.” She calls from inside the house when Hangman has closed the car door halfway. There’s a seriousness to her voice and he holds the heavy door at arms length and raises an eyebrow to prompt her to continue. “We’re all so very prouda you.”

A twinge of pride blossoms in Hanger's chest, growing like the first wildflower after winter and he nods awkwardly before closing the door and melting against the leather seats of the cab. The driver only speaks to ask what time his flight is and nods when Adam tells him it's in five hours but he wants to get to the airport early. The car trundles up through countryside roads and slowly merges into the bustling traffic of the city. The sudden change of air condition that floats through the open window makes Hangman cough slightly, lowering his mask to give the driver an apologetic smile. He nods, raising a gloved hand as an acceptance and settled in the fact that Adam hadn’t screwed up a minor social interaction, he puts his mask back on and relaxes against the seats again, accepting the comfortably numb feeling that floods over his body. He brushes his fingers over where the wounds are, pressing the curve of his knuckles into them slightly, and gives a comfortable sigh when pain tingles through his system again.

The flight happens with minor turbulence and when the wheels touch down on the tarmac, Adam is one of the first people to get off. The idea of being on a flight had always set him on edge but after recent events he just wanted to get to his hotel and lay down for a few moments before the car came to pick him up to take him to the arena. The line for security rolls slowly and Adam picks anxiously at the skin of his thumb as he waits for his things after being scanned. A few people ask him for autographs and he is happy to comply. Children stare at him with acceptance in their eyes and Hangman can’t help but smile and lean down to ruffle their hair.

He’s leaning against the banister of the escalator when a familiar face catches his eye from the crowd. There’s suddenly a bad taste in Adam’s mouth, the kind of taste people get just before they throw up. Bile bubbles up his throat and Adam swallows it down before spitting out. “Nick?”

Nick looks up from his phone and raises his hand awkwardly at the other man, stepping forward to place a hand on his suitcase. “Hey.” His voice is dull, rough with disuse and anxiety. “I’m sorry about Sunday.'' Even from behind his mask, ADam can tell that hes chewing awkwardly on his bottom lip. He shrugs, waving a hand noncomuicationally. “No Kenny was a real dick.”

“I deserved it.” Adam whispers, the words getting lost in the roar of travelers. Nick tilts his head to the side confused, eyes mimicking those Adam used to see on the old family sheepdog. “I should have fought harder.” He states louder, simpler. Nick just shakes his head and wraps his hand around the handle of Adam’s luggage and walks off. Blinking for a few seconds in confusion, Adam registers that he suddenly doesn't have his luggage and jogs to catch up with Nick, placing his hand in the middle of his spine when catches up with him. It’s a friendly gesture that Adam does out of routine. It’s an accident but one that Nick seems not to mind. He pauses in front of a car and opens the door.

“D’ya want me to push you into the car or what?” He snaps, an aura of playfulness flowing in his eyes. Hangman manages an awkward smile and slowly lowers himself into the back of the car. He stares down at his trembling hands, confusion painting itself clear across his face. There’s a breeze from the open window and Adam pulls his mask off, itching at his cheeks and face.

By the time Nick packs his luggage in the trunk of the car, Hanger is officially confused. They weren't friends so why was Nick here to pick him up? Was he in some kind of danger? A small part of his brain yells at him to look around and so he does, using the car's rear view mirror to look into the back seats. He’s so hyper focused on making sure that he's the only one in the car, he almost forgets that Nick exists and it's only when he slams the driver's side door closed does Adam flinch and allow his eyes to snap toward to stare out the window. “Why are you picking me up?” He blurts out about halfway into the ride to the arena.

Nick seems to wince at the question, lips pressing into a bitter line of thought before going. “You gotta make up with Kenny.”

Adam starts to itch at his arm through his shirt sleeve, catching Nick's eyes in the mirror when they reach a red light.

“He’s been a real asshole, yknow.” The light turns green and the other man focuses his eyes on the road again. The car is eerily silent for a few seconds before Nick continues. “He’s getting pissed at the smallest things and if he's not swearing his damn head off he’s quiet and pouting at his phone like he's expecting someone to call. Its stressful and-”

“What do you want me to do?” Hangman snaps, using his nails to unbutton his shirt sleeve, he needs to feel his nails agianst his skin, warm and clammy and real. He needs to remind himself that he exists in the back of a rental car with someone who he used to continue a friend. A friend that left him alone and awkward and bitter.

“Fix. it.” Nick snaps back, his grip knuckle white against the steering wheel. There’s a few tense seconds before both men exhale, the sheer comedic timing of it making them both flash a toothy half grin as they pull into the hotel room parking lot. “We don't care how Hangy, but fix it. It's upsetting people, it's hurting people.”

His head sags slightly as he gets out of the car and Nick’s words ring in Adam’s ears. He’s hurting people and that's the last thing he wanted to do with his arguments with Kenny. Sure, he wanted to hurt Kenny. There were times in his life where he would dream of Kenny’s blood decorating the ring like a Jackson Pollock painting. But this wasn’t one of those times. His fatigued brain wanted nothing more than to just crawl into his arms and listen to the sound of Kenny’s heartbeat washing over him like foaming sea waves. “I never meant to hurt anyone.” Adam promises when he squirms out of the car and follows Nick into the hotel lobby.

It's unremarkably quiet and the lack of people settles Adam’s anxiety to a small glowing ball in his stomach. He gathers his keycard and clings to it as he wheels his suitcase into the elevator. He raises his arm, pushing strands of blond hair off his face. Nick reaches out and takes his wrist, twisting his arm over. “What are you doing?” Adam asks, snatching his arm away and tugging the sleeve over his hand.

“Are you.” Nick doesn;t know how to approach the question. They’re not exactly as close as they used to be. But the dark red marks that stared at him when Adam lifted his arm made his stomach still, heavy at the bottom of his feet. “Are you hurting yourself Adam?”

There's an indignant splutter that doesn’t stop when the elevator dings and the doors open. “No, of course not. I'm not that kid anymore.” Lies drip off Adam's tongue easily but he can't bring himself to look Nick in the eye. He’s staring at him with pity in his dark eyes and despite Adams normal so-thought desire that he liked people looking at him like that, it makes him feel nauseous and dizzy. His legs tremble under his clay stained jeans like they did in the shower and he pushes his fist into the meat of his calf when Nick isn't looking.

They don’t talk about that topic again. Not until that night where Adam is clinging his arm close to his chest, standing on the doorstep to the Young Bucks locker room. Matt opens the door and makes a startled sound and quickly pulls Adam in by a scrap of his shirt that isn't stained crimson.

“What the fuck happened!?” He asks, dropping Hanger onto the couch like he was a pile of dirty clothes. The brothers look at each other with wide eyes that flicker as if the two of them are talking.

“I-Do-n’t-I cant…I can't-” He rocks forward, pressing his temples to his knees. His body shakes so badly that Matt kneels in front of him, using his arms to stabilize Adam on the couch so he doesnt fall off. “Help-” Adam begs weakly, tears mixing with blood on his face. Nick strokes his hair like he was stroking a cat before nodding at his brother and leaving the locker room.

“Lemme see. Lemmme see. It's okay. Shh.” Matt coos, resting his hand over Adam’s. His fingers worm into his palm and gently pulls the locked joints loose, massaging until Hangman’s hand hangs loosely and blood stained in his smaller one. “Oh Adam. what was it?”

There’s beats of silence. Adam looking at the floor or the ceiling and Matt gently pressing a cloth from his open suitcase against his arm before he can manage to look him in the eyes and whisper “razor.”

The younger man sighs and wipes the blood off his arm. “You’ll just need some bandaids. There in my other bag. I’m still gonna be right here. I’m not leaving, I promise you.”

The nod that Hangman gives is a sharp and curt twist of his neck and Matt is slow to release his hand. “It's okay, it's gonna be okay I promise.” He continues to whisper as he makes his way across the room. Adam listens to the sound of his ring boots against the carpeted floor and uses them as a beat for his breathing. Breath in on the left, breath out on the right. Matt returns and gently cups Page’s chin in his hand before holding up the bandaids, they are brown and the box is dented from overuse. Slowly, Adam stretches out his arm again and shows Matt the wounds.

There's three identical cuts across his left trice. Long and red and stinging. Matt pokes them curiously, making sure that none of them need to be stitched up before carefully smoothing bandaids across his skin. Adam feels like he's being coddled but when Matt cups his cheek again, he tilts his hand in relishing in the touch of another human being.

The door behind them clicks open and Matt steps away, grabbing his brother and pulling him away before Nick has the chance to open his mouth. The door clicks closed and Adam falls against the back of the couch, curling his knees into his chest and pressing his forehead against his jeans. His body pounds are dissociated and fatigued and he almost doesn't register the feeling of someone else being in the room until someone coughs, an awkward sound that makes Hangman jolt his head up.

“Kenny?”

Kenny smiles, the corner of his lips tugging awkwardly into what feels like a fake grin. Almost like he wanted to be anywhere else that staring at Adam, curled up on his former friend's couch looking a mess. “Hey.” Even his voice is stunted and awkward, rough and sharp and disappointed.

Adam stretches his fingers out carefully before they snap back into a fist. Kenny isn’t his to touch anymore, he isn’t Adams to love anymore. Feeling like he's been punched, Adam curls deeper into his knees and through the gap in his legs, watches as Kenny’s shoes take a step closer. The springs groan under the sudden added weight of Kenny next to him and Adam slumps slightly, head knocking softly against the join of the couch cushions.

He watches the other man from the corner of his eye, keeping a careful glare on the way his shoulders slump and the way his icey eyes focus on a small pile of the Buck’s discarded clothes that sit alone by the door to the locker room. “I’m sorry.” Adam finally mumbles out, so quiet that Kenny has to face him and carefully nudge him to repeat it. “I’m sorry..”

“I know.” Kenny states simply, hands tucked into his lap. His fingers knot together and Hangman watches as the color drains from his knuckles. Slowly he starts to uncurl, pressing his boot souls against the floor firmly. Hangman presses weight into his toes, hoping that the dull sting of pressure that skates its way up and down his legs is enough to keep him focused. His muscles feel tight and shaky under his jeans and Kenny is careful to place a hand against his thigh, thumb spreading out against the curve of his knee. “I know.” He states, voice dimmer. Colder.

Adam watches, sighing as Kenny's thumb massages the anxiety out of his legs. Carefully he rolls his ankles and gently wiggles his fingers. Anything that stops him from asking the question that bubbles onto his tongue so violently that Adam fears that he may throw up. He parts his lips and the question tumbles out.

“Do you still love me?”

Kenny blinks at him, stares into his eyes for a few moments before averting his gaze back down to the floor. Neither man wants to say it. Not out loud. Adam keeps his eyes on Kenny’s face as it cortourtes and his shoulders sag when Kenny barely manages to shake his head. “I can’t.” Adam feels tears press against the gap between his eyes and he presses his knuckles into his cheeks, pushing them away. “..why?” He feels like a child, open-minded and curious at the world.

“Because it's not cute Adam!” Kenny has stood now, stepping away to gaze at Adam on the couch with a look that seems akin to a farmer staring at a dying animal. Part of his mind begs for Kenny to end his suffering, to kick him in the head until his temple explodes like a buckshot.

But all he does is stares at him, with a cold pitty. Adam knows that Kenny is speaking the truth that he's not a partner that people should be proud of, he isn't a prized pony that people should parade around. His shoulders curve and he swallows the tears that threaten to make him look weak, his brain screams for him to dig his nails into the cuts but he knows he’d feel guilty getting blood on the Bucks hardwood floor or over theri couch. So, he keeps his eyes closed and ears open as Kenny continues.

“It's not easy to love people like you. It's draining and hard. You make me feel like my entire soul is being sucked out of my body! I can't love you. I don't love you. I don’t think I ever have. Not honestly. Everything that happened was convenient; a simple stress reliever. Nothing more. Nothing less.” Kenny’s words tumblr out of his mouth like a waterfall and each one stabs Hangman in the chest like venom soaked spears.

“”I’m sorry.” The words are strangled by unshed tears when they drop out of Adam’s mouth and onto the floor. He picks at the stray bits of clay on his jeans and wonders why he’s allowing himself to listen to the words that Kenny is spouting. He doesn't know. A crooked smile spreads across his lips and Hangman wishes that alcohol could dance in his bloodstream, maybe it would make the words sting less. Or maybe he would relate to them more and allow them to soak into his mind until he’s repeating them like a mantra.

With a sigh, Kenny turns his back on Hangman, fingers against the door knob. “I’m sorry but I won't die because of your sadness.” The door clicks open and closed again and once again, Adam is alone.

Maybe, he always will be. And maybe that's okay.

Maybe he will retreat back to his old family farm, cover himself head to toe in scars that sting in a sickly human way and allow himself to lay down by the duck pond and allow the world to reclaim him.

Animals will make homes in between his ribs and Adam will finally be needed.

Be loved in the way he always desired.

Peacefully. Anonymously. Like a forgotten painter whose artwork is displayed in old homes to hide the rotting decay of age and water damage in the walls.

He’ll be remembered like fingerprints in clay and adored like kiln fire; warm, exposing, fixable.

Taglist: @allelitesmut @homoeroticgrappling @dustinslovehandles @paradoxunknown @katries @mrsmatt @echoxshxrx @malewifemoxley @kass-the-kitten @itsnoosetome @racerchix21 @jacedoe @chuckstaylors @old-no7 @thekadster @mandiableclaw @tahiri-veyla

#hangman page #hangman adam page #adam page #kenny omega #the young bucks #the elite #the dark order #one winged cowboys #anyways #mouse writes #reblogs are appreciated

[coolcattime]

Heyo it's me again.

So today i was playing death stranding and was thinking about the respawn system in that game and immediately started brainrotting like my brain became a disaster imagining the beach style afterlife but for mcyt and then of course being dirty mianite trash it immediately became mianite head canon about the after life which made me think of you. So here is my sonja x capsize angsty headcanon for you. (This is a small thank you for letting me spam your asks with my nonsense)

How it works is when you die you dont stay dead instead your soul appears in the afterlife but you retain your consciousness you can see the spirits of the dead and they are wandering off into the distance. Some are stuck behind as as sorta images of themselves not really there but it's really them in the truest essence. When the champions die they are sent there but are quickly snatched back by their respective gods.

When sonja first sided with the darkness it weakened her connection with mianite and made it harder for him to pulls her back from the after life. So she was the only hero to know about this "beach" everytime she'd die she would spend time on this beach mostly alone. Rarely seeing anyone but when she did they quickly walked into the wsters and disappeared. That is until going to the land of ruxomar and experiencing her first death. This time when she appears on the beach she sees a lone figure standing by the sea quietly. She feels a pain in her heart but is pulled away before she could see who it was. Not too long after she dies again and this time she gets closer to the figure. She definitely knows who it is but it hurts to admit it. The next time she goes to the after life she finally peeks and she knew it from the beginning. It was capsize. She cried for the entire day after getting back. It didnt take her long to figure out this was exactly capsize but was also her in someways. Somedays she'd end up there and just sit with capsize. Maybe she was getting reckless just to spend a few desprate minutes beside her again. That's when sonja discovered thaumcraft and it's promise of power. The eldrich whispers speaking of ways to upturn the rules of the world. A power beyond the gods. Maybe if ianite failed to bring back capsize these things could. And with that thought sonja threw herself headfirst into madness. Each death by mind spiders or eldrich horrors only spurred her forward as she was reminded of her goal. What was her goal again? What did that strange woman mean to her? Sonja's madness riddled mind wandered some days

Holy shit I love this so much!!!

Firstly, you can spam my asks as much as you want, but thank you so much for this because this is such good angst.

This idea of the afterlife is so cool, especially with the added context of the gods literally pulling their champions back.

And I just love everything about the scenario you've written. I really love the idea of it starting to take longer for Sonja to be revived, the others not quite understanding why, Sonja not understanding why, Mianite understanding why but not wanting to acknowledge it. I think she'd almost find it relaxing in the season one world, a small break from the chaos of just everything.

Then in Ruxomar, after already losing so much, she finds herself on the beach again and gods, just seeing Capsize, even if she's not fully herself she something she so deseparetely needed. The others don't notice her tears, they don't notice her more relaxed attitude towards her own safety, at least not at first. Not until she's already started research thaumcraft.

Everthing you've written about the thaumcraft stuff is excellent, it reads like a Darkest Dungeon boss backstory, with Sonja losing her mind to bring Capsize back, but forgetting even that as she dvells further into the eldrich maddness. The others have realised something terrible is happening to Sonja, though whether they can do anything about that now is a different question altogether. On a beach far away, what remains of a woman watching something eat away at someone she loves, but there's nothing she can do to stop it.

#anon ask #mianite #sonja x capsize #sonja firefox #captain capsize #sonja reid/captain capsize #seriously i love this so much #and now i also kind of want to do a little mianite darkest dungeon au