#eg lot: Abandoned Keep

[lilleputtu]

#sims 2 #ts2 #the sims 2 #ts2: Edona's Glade #eg lot: Abandoned Keep #eg sim: Dannet Peach #eg sim: Miranda Capp

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not defending an ex-friend when people called her a slut?

I (20 f) fell out with my best friend and roommate M (20 f) at the end of sophomore year of college. reason we fell out isn't the main subject of this post but I think it's relevant so I'll try and keep it as brief as possible.

For context I'm Black attending a VERY white school. Frenshman year I was the only black girl in my building and this was just post-covid so student groups were pretty dead. So first trimester most of my college friends were the girls from my floor including M (white) and S (20f, asian american). It was very isolating tbh, esp bc I experienced a lot of microaggressions, but the girls I befriended were pretty good at sharing my outrage and letting me confide in them.

The worst incident was when at a party, a guy (G, white) made some very racist comments towards me and in general (said the n-word a few times). I admit I escalated it by engaging w him and the whole thing got out of hand, a lot of people saw, and he got a reputation as a racist. Afterwards, he was always rude to me, blaming me for egging him on while drunk and just constantly making disrespectful comments about me and my 'attitude' where i could hear. no one ever said anything to his face but were supportive of me after the fact - S was always particularly supportive and said she could relate.

I was generally fine with avoiding G esp in sophomore year when we moved out. I lived with M and another friend (P) and it went pretty well. We were asked in like November if we would renew our lease, and though M and I wanted to the third friend didn't, so we began to think of replacements, and S was looking for a place.

Thing is, while S and I were still on good terms I felt like she was being a bit secretive w me. She'd often come over and talk privately w M and I got the gist she was seeing someone and didn't want me to know. I shook it off as us growing apart and the fact I'd gotten more involved in Black student groups and hadn't hung around with our dorm friends as much, but then in Jan, as we were planning to sign the new lease, I found out she was dating G. Tbh at this point we weren't even close friends that I felt a strong personal betrayal, but more so I was mad at them both for not telling me while making plans for us to live together. They knew I was uncomfortable around G and wouldn't want to live w his gf, esp without knowing. It felt like they were almost purposefully going behind my back.

I didn't do anything at the time, just slowly backed out of the lease renewal and made other arrangements. I stopped hanging out with S almost completely and was just cordial w her and took a big step back from M and our dorm friends.

The other relevant bit of context here is M had a boyfriend (T, 20 m) who was in our freshman dorm and very close to our year one friends (lived with them sophomore year and now junior year too). She broke up w him in Feb, which led to a lot of her friendships w our dorm friends (her only friends really) to deteriorate a bit, esp as she was no longer super comfy hanging around where he was. this especially became an issue in the spring trimester bc she got a new boyfriend over the break, a friend from her classes T hadn't liked.

So, M kept pressuring me to hang out w her and our dorm friends a lot more, which inevitably meant seeing S and now G, who they'd all decided they were cool being around when I distanced myself. I told her why i didn't want to and I didn't want to see G again but she promised he had 'changed' and wouldn't say anything to me. eventually I folded and went out w them all once and it honestly sucked. M completely abandoned me to be w her other friends, G didn't say anything but kept glaring at me the whole time, and I felt very out of place. afterwards I told M i was sorry, I know she felt awkward around her ex without me, but I wouldn't do that again.

She left it till like the end of the year then there was a big dinner she really wanted to go to that T would be at (her bf was not invited), w all our dorm friends. I kept saying I wouldn't go, but then she told me she checked w the hosts and confirmed (and promised) G wouldn't be coming. I said okay but asked we sit next to each other and made it clear how I felt around S etc, and she agreed and promised we would. Long story short G was there, I wound up next to S and across from him snickering at me the whole time, with her on the other end of the table. I texted M about it, she said it was 'fine' and I was imagining it and to try and enjoy the gathering.. yeah no. I dipped before desert, she chased me outside asking what was up and I explained why i was upset, she said i can't expect her to be there for me the whole night and she's allowed to 'have a good night without my drama,' i said racism wasn't drama and she literally dragged me along to deal with her drama, nevermind my comfort, and that she was an incredibly selfish friend for putting me in this position. I left, she wound up crying with everyone comforting her, everyone there (M included) went off at me for being an unsupportive friend/dredging up year old drama with G/overall making everything about race, I cut them all off and moved my stuff into my girlfriend's place a week after all this and didn't speak to anyone since.

which is pretty much all the backstory (longer than the main bit, sorry), that gets us to the actual AITA situation. Junior year starts, I'm at a welcome back party w some other friends and i'm vaguely aware my old dorm friends (including S and G) are also here, but it's a huge party and i'm w my very supportive friends who ik will back me if anything happens so i dont really care. eventually M arrives w her bf, gives me an awkward look but doesn't say anything to me.

Then at some point, I'm upstairs using the bathroom and I hear the girls from our dorm group speaking to M in the hallway. Apparently it came out over summer she'd hooked up w her new boyfriend before she ended things with T and they were all pissed at her (esp for her playing the victim w her ex). I tried to stay in the bathroom until the conversation ended but someone was pounding on the door and I wound up having to get out and waddle past them awkwardly to get back downstairs. When I got out one of the girls was calling M a slut and other names and while i tried to avoid it I accidentally made eye contact with M, who was super upset and crying. I kinda just shrugged and went downstairs.

Later that night i got a long ass message from her new bf about how he knows I'm upset with her but it wasn't fair for me to just leave her in that situation, and that it was petty and selfish of me (esp bc I'm usually the person calling out this shit). I spoke to my gf, and she said she understands why i did nothing but also that it's never okay for people to call someone a slut. I agree with that 100% and in any other case i might have tried to diffuse the situation (like if it was safe and I thought I could). I've told a couple friends who think I did nothing wrong and it wasn't fair to expect me to say smth when she never said/did anything to defend me and that she had it coming, but my mom told me I should've done the kind thing and not stoop to their level and it's made me feel really bad. I think I might be TA bc i could have stood up for her without anything bad happening to me beyond being in an uncomfortable convo, and also bc it kinda felt good seeing her friends turn on her? Like she threw me under the bus to be in their good books and defend them and they dropped her ass anyway, and if I acted from a vengeful place then thats asshole-y of me. but also no one in this story has apologised to me once and as my friend says its not fair to rely on black ppl to fix racist white ppls mess.

so, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[incognitonoggin]

what are your yandere proxies hcs? ^_^

YANDERE PROXY HEADCANNONS

SFW AND NSFW !!

MINORS DNI

GN READER

Includes: Masky (Tim), Hoodie (Brian) and Toby.

CONTAINS: Yanderes, Violence, “Hunting”, Sexual Aggression, Praising, Degradation, ETC

MASKY / TIM

SFW

• Knowing this man, he’d be so playful about hunting you, intentionally doing things to allow you to get just out of his grasp and leave him

• But He knows he’ll get to you anyway.

• Considering he has his little “Masky Alter Ego”, his personality would switch up quite a lot

• One second he’d be all over you like a dog slobbering over steak, then the next he’d be laughing in your face and mocking how pathetic you seemed to be.

• You could try to fight him off as much as you please, but at the end of the day you both know who’s in control

• Have fun being stuck right next to him at all times!

NSFW

• Rolling back around to him being playful about his “hunt” for you, it’d most likely make him a bit aggressive when it comes down to sex.

• I mean, he waited so long just to have you, just to even get to you, and nows his chance!

• His words would be a mix of praise and degradation, claiming you as his and calling you perfect but throwing in a harsh “bitch” at the end or something along those lines

• Might have you yelling his name, other creeps plugging up their ears and pleading to god you guys stop sometime soon /hj

• He wont be easy on you, but it wont be all bad! Just a bit very rough.

HOODIE / BRIAN

• Gahhhh the chase will be so easy for him, I’m sorry

• He’s quite fast, so you’ll think you lost him, but he appears behind a tree or something the second you look around.

• It’ll go somewhat like that for a while, just a loop until you damn near lose your sanity just waiting for him to pop up again

• Once he’s done with the games, he’ll snatch you up and bring ya home! Or, at least, what will soon be your home. Together.

• Brian will make you scared enough to make you not even think about trying anything. He’ll let you walk in front of him with his gun pressed against your temple, the cold metal making you shiver.

• He’s gonna be quiet, but you can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s demanding you to do something, and for your safety, you should

NSFW

• Hope you’re not a cat person, because it’s almost always gonna be doggystyle.

• He will grip the hell out of your hips, leaving subtle bruises that will show up later

• Your sobs will encourage him to keep going, egging him on knowing he’s bringing you that much pleasure, knowing full well he’s going to be the one and only to do so

• More aggressive than Tim, however he doesn’t degrade you much. Kind of quiet to be honest.

TICCI TOBY / TOBIAS

• Alright stop scrolling, he’s MINE /j

• For him, the chase wouldn’t be that serious.

• I mean, come on, he knows he’ll catch you in the end (kind of like Tim) and to see that terrified look on your pretty face would make ‘em more delighted than ever

• It’s like a fucked up game to him. Go ahead and run! You will get far, but I can get farther.

NSFW

• Depends on his mood, but he might just ravish you inside if an abandoned building to be real.

• Not as rough as all of the others, but will DEFINITELY be handsy

• will grab your hips tightly and just go. Good luck for you !!, because your insides are going to be slushy after what he does to you /hj

• Mostly just praise. A lot of claiming, too! Will just be yapping in your ear about how you belong to him and how good you make him feel.

• Love bites. Hickeys. You name it!

Thank you for submitting anon !! I tried my best on this, so I really hope you like it :3 . .

#bloody painter #creepypasta headcannons #nathan lux #nathan the nobody #ticci toby headcannons #ticci toby smut #masky headcanons #masky marble hornets #tim masky #marble hornets #brian hoodie #hoodie #hoodie headcanons #creepypasta proxy #slender proxy #proxy headcannons #masky headcannons #masky smut

[mysteryanimator]

I love your animations, but I'm still struggling to view them without thinking about their last canon interaction. Can you tell me what you envision their makeup would be like?

(Lol I’m so sorry to all the ppl who work on Nocturne reading this 💀 and just generally everyone)

Thank you so much that means a lot! But now, you’ve unveiled my trap card and given me an excuse to write my thoughts on Mizrak and Olrox, so this will get pretty long. Also, this may end up being very subjective/personal taste in some parts so I hope everyone doesn’t mind (and hope you don't mind the funky grammar!) This is an open discussion too, I’d like to hear everyone’s thoughts! 

Now with that out of the way here we go!

(This is old unfinished storyboards for a previous iteration of their makeup scene I did back in jan, never finished them due to uni/another project, I'd like to someday tho because guh the themes.)

Now first of all, I’d like to think that a proper makeup/conversation wouldn’t happen for a bit and would be drawn out because they’re both still hurt, angry, sad, and confused at not only each other but themselves. They’re not the type to get into loud verbal arguments for this, definitely some verbal jabs at each other though. Mean petty comments, oh absolutely. I’d like to personally believe they’d still yearn for each other, perhaps even more so after Olrox indirectly confessed and Mizrak practically turned it down. 

Now, there are soooo many different ways that they’d even see each other again, many different ways it could come to that initial point where they’ve made up. Though I’ll go with one of my personal idea (which people keep egging me on to animate WHICH… I dunno I don’t have free time rn so I’m just blurting it out into written format while I can 😭 I want to though, maybe later in the year for fun if season 2 doesn’t beat me to it). 

Have to establish my vision, but I’d think that Richter, Maria, Annette, Alucard and Mizrak are hopping from abandoned town to abandoned town due to the inability to return to Macheoul for the time being. While Olrox has been on his own (doing what, I’m not even sure my personal headcanon for this.) I think Alucard and Mizrak have a conversation about Alucard’s past in a group setting and it strikes a chord with the monk- since after all, Alucard’s dad is THE Dracula, and his mother (bless her, I miss her) is human. You know how that whole backstory goes, and it parallels Olrox a lot. Also Mizrak and Annette will absolutely have a deep conversation too. Just solely from the comment that was made: 

“We’re all descended from gods, we just have to learn how to draw their power.” Nocturne s1 ep 2

Annette clearly having powers from Haitian gods, absolutely challenging how Mizrak was only certain of one God. Yes, Mizrak is extremely stubborn and it will take him a bit, but he’s different from the Abott in the sense that he will not let religion blind his path to good. He ‘uses his head’ as said before, not god, not the church- his head. Mizrak’s idea of the church and his faith is now a mess and it’s up to him on how he interprets it and rewrites it knowing what he knows now (this is important I swear when it comes to the makeup scene).

Now we’re at the actual scene at hand: Olrox and Mizrak making up.

Side note: oh god I’m practically writing this whole thing as if its going to be played out for an episode, but that’s how it works in my brain LOL but you asked so you shall receive. I am so sorry HAHA

There’s been a lot of build up from this point where they have been meeting up here and there by themselves, but you can clearly tell whenever they do they both hurt and yearn- which would lead to their proper makeup scene. I’m just inserting this for fun, but I’d imagine this would take place in an abandoned church in the town they’re camping in for the night. For a lot of symbolic reasons; devotion, sacrifice, forgiveness, gathering. This along with the simple fact, Mizrak’s relationship to the church has changed completely from here. I’d like to think that even when he’s trying to rekindle that connection with God, it leaves that icky overcoat on his skin. 

“Faith is a company in the hardest of times, when the world abandons you.” Nocturne ep 3

The church indeed had saved him from whatever terrible horrific thing happened to him in the past, however whatever saved him can still be horrible and terrible too. It is infallible.  It is cruel in an attempt to gather community and peace. So, yes- faith can be company when the world abandoned him, but his faith is no longer with the church. He’s taking it back and finding some place else to rest it. (Olrox, it’s Olrox, probably ooc but I’m making it Olrox). 

In this church, the conversation between them will initially start as a discussion about religion, faith and that whole sort of deal. It’ll open up about Mizrak exact struggles from his mouth and how he particularly feels about it, then we get more insight onto Olrox’s thoughts, his perception of the church and perhaps even a deep dive into Aztec history again. Maybe even talk about Olrox’s Quetzalcoatl form, though really this is self indulgent. It’s an aspect I’d absolutely love to be explored and I think it being discussed in revere in a Catholic Church,  with Mizrak actually being open to it due to his new perspective? Oh my god, sign me up. Regardless, it would hold similar energy to episode 6: Gulity Men to be Judged. There’s a weight to it. 

Then it gets heavier when the conversation pivots.  

Mizrak’s attachment in the church was due to him caring about people and, hypothetically, to save him from whatever detriment came for him in the past. The last canon interaction, their falling out they had in season 1 was because he cared about others. To a fault. Now, here he is, standing in front of someone he cares about. It’s going to open a conversation between what’s happening between them and finally properly discuss what happened from their last canon interaction in nocturne season 1. 

A lot of finger and hand brushing from Olrox, which at first I’d think gets no reaction as an attempt for restraint before Mizrak warms up to it and even reciprocates by doing the same thing. All of this is very gentle in my opinion. It’s slow, tender, and most importantly vulnerable. It has the physical contact reminiscent of their first fast rough and tug in the courtyard and piggybacks off the vulnerability they both have when they both stand next to the window in episode 6. They probably also just physically get closer to each other at the moment. Just gradually though. The distance gets closer and closer until their foreheads are practically touching without them realizing it. They’re comfortable though, they don’t want to leave. 

They absolutely get to a point where they both admit to saying “I love you” without straight up saying “I love you” because that’s just a very them thing. Or maybe they do straight up state because Olrox does admit he was in love (with his partner) and doesn’t shy from that fact. It’s a nice conversion of the trope and great to hear from a mlm couple to say I love you… but man do I do love when characters get all poetic-y when their profess their devotion to each other by literally talking in prose, so maybe with good writing both can be done and still be quite powerful but still be gentle. 

In my interpretation YEAH I’LL MAKE THEM KISS AFTER THIS, this is my vision after all. Also, yeah they’re gonna fuck. In the church? Perhaps. Is it a tad OOC, maybe. HOWEVER, consider imagery and symbolism. I just think the image of it would be great, even if it was censored to hell and back, it can be so artistically done. Just imagine the implication alone with me for a second. I think the whole concept of doing it in a church is an interesting build upon the quotes from the show;

“God is not here. This church is an empty box.” From the first Castlevania series.

“House of God? This place is just a heap of bricks and stone.” From Nocturne said by Maria. 

The church is a husk, especially having it abandoned- it’s rather what you do with that box that makes all the difference. The people inside are the driving force, so I think it’s both poetic and funny to have Mizrak and Olrox fucking in an abandoned church. Surface level: fuck you god I’m fucking my hot vampire boyfriend in your house. Deeper level: I could write a whole thing on this but I’ll refrain. You can get the gist of breaking free of restraint, and devotion and letting himself be human, rather than a soldier (which he already slowly does). 

Though also this sex scene isn’t necessary, I just like exploring explicit content in artistic ways, especially if I can throw in religious symbols and heighten that hunger/devotion to a person- but the “I love you” in the church is pretty powerful already.  

Then after all of this they take it at their own pace. However, they only live life once and continue together like that- they both know this concept very well because of the very nature of who they are, so they spend it in each other’s company. 

Now you also get the squad’s reactions, well namely because I do not think this would be an easily hidden thing. Like absolutely could get away with it in season 1, but everyone will know something is up for sure in my iteration. The 'hypothetical' Mystery Animator season 2 iteration. As subtle as their longing stares and quiet hand touches may be reserved for just them- those little interactions are loud.

Richter would absolutely be in shambles over Olrox, the killer of his mother, and Mizrak being a thing. Both in a “this is the most horrible thing that’s happened in my life” and also a he’s going to be an absolute shithead to Mizrak and make fun of him, lightheartedly of course. Alucard would absolutely have an interesting perspective because again, his parents. Maria already has disdain for the church plus the “vampires are evil… and evil has to be fought.” However, in the presence of Alucard, I think a lot will change because he’s half-vampire. Annette, I’m unsure of what her reaction would be, because I’m very sure she’d be receptive to Alucard being a vampire and then would appreciate Olrox’s mindset and values. However, gonna keep hammering, Olrox killed Julia Belmont which I feel will be comedically hammered in if Olrox decides to hang around the squad occasionally. 

And with that, we’re done! (I think)

Thank you for reading 🫶 this probably will not happen in cv s2 but it’s fun blurting out my hc. I’m really excited to see what they do, and even perhaps even go in the opposite direction due to episode limitations… maybe a season 3 👀 who knows.

#castlevania nocturne #olrox/mizrak #mizrox #castlevania olrox #mizrak #olrox #castlevania #vampire #holy shit this is long #castlevania fanart #im sooooo normal you guys #tf you mean this is 2k words #is this techincally a thesis? a character essay? #literally posting and closing my eyes #grammar might be shit but guys I have a vision #headcannon #dont percieve me

[hapshistrionicsdo]

Histrionic pd criteria/behviours and examples

The DSM is notoriously vague, and it's mainly because of this that so many people with hpd don't realize/know that they have it. Personally, I think the criteria desperately needs to be revised.

It is because of this that most people, in the course of figuring out if they have hpd, have to base a lot of their research off of other people with hpd, rather than use the dsm. In this post, I want to discuss the hpd criteria/bahviours associated with hpd as well as give examples of how they manifest in my own life/how they could potentially present. However, please keep in mind that I do not meet every listed criterion, and exhibit a mild/moderate presentation of hpd, as well as having npd and bpd! This is also based off of my own subjective experience, these symptoms may present differently in another person.

1. I get uncomfortable when I am not the center of attention.

I find that I do experience this criterion. Feeling uncomfortable/upset when not the center of attention can show up in a lot of ways. I also think that it is important to mention here that hpd can be more covert, and that the idea that it is always obvious is an outdated and borderline ableist idea, rooted in stereotypes.

In my life, this criterion shows up in a myriad of ways. A few examples being: I tend to interrupt people, because I need the focus of the conversation on me. I have a HUGE issue with shifting the conversation to revolve around me and my life. I will exaggerate stories to make them more interesting (eg. Making myself out to have more of a backbone than i do/say more shocking things.), and I dress very noticably. In a less socially acceptable light, I also use a lot of my opinions as ways to get attention/make more friends, when I really don't care about the opinions I put out (these things also mix into the second criterion: 'when interacting with others, I make them pay attention to me', so I will skip to the third criterion).

3. I have rapid mood swings.

When people hear this criterion in regards to hpd, people tend to think these emotions are 'fake', or 'shallow'. While this may be the case and is relatively common, I think it is important to mention that people with hpd can and do experience intense emotions and express them authentically. What differentiates these intense emotions from bpd is the main need that motivates the behaviours. In bpd, it is usually in response to abandonment and other personal triggers, whereas in hpd it is more likely to be in response to lack of attention and other personal triggers. However, anyone (esp. cluster b individuals) can experience a fear of abandonment and react accordingly, as these disorders do overlap, hence why they are cluster disorders.

In my experience, I do both. I experience shallow and intense feelings, and I do tend to play them up, usually in a way that is disguised as a joke/in an environment where that type of behaviour is seen as normal (eg theatre, which is an AMAZING outlet for that type of stuff). I have a lack of empathy, which I really don't try hard to hide, and while I do feel it, it is very shifting and shallow. Music heavily influences my mood as well. Along with rapid mood swings, I feel that my identity instability sorta ties into this. I will take on different aesthetics/personality traits/etc based on how I'm feeling and what will get me the most attention/appreciation/makes me feel most superior (npd trait).

4. I often use my physical appearance to draw attention to myself.

HUGE HUGE HUGE thing with me. I wear bright makeup, weird patterns, unusual outfits, excessive/tacky/bright jewelry, dye my hair, etc to get people to notice me. I will forsake my own comfort for that type of attention. It gets me compliments, stares, helps me stand out (which i take huge pride in), etc. I also dress skimpy sometimes in order to achieve sexual attention, to compensate for my lack of physical confidence.

5. I have a style of speech which is impressionable and lacking in detail.

Personally, I'm not sure if I really exhibit this one. I feel like when it comes to school projects such as essays, I do take a while to get to the point/put a lot of emphasis on wording more than actually getting my point across.

6. I am incredibly hyperbolic or theatrical in how I express myself.

In a lot of instances, the way I naturally move is very spinny and flowy. I walk very fast, heavy and confident in order to be paid attention to and seen as confident.

7. I am easily influenced by others or circumstances

This shows up in a much less obvious way for me. Eg if someone says 'hey that colour really works on you' or 'that piercing would work well with your facial features', I will probably start wearing that colour or go get that piercing. If someone says I seem very extroverted, I will act more extroverted. If someone says that I am smart, I will act smarter/see myself as smarter, which ties into my npd as well.

8. I often misread relationships and consider them to be closer than they actually are.

For this, I am actually not sure. I do get attached fast to people who give me my desired forms of attention/hang out with them more, so I'm not sure if that counts?

So, as you can see, experiences are very subjective in nature and can be vastly different for everyone. The point of this post is to show that the vagueness of the DSM is harmful and that people should definitely make sure that they are fully understanding each criterion.

#honestly histrionic #actually hpd #hpd safe #hpd #actually histrionic #histrionic pd #histrionic personality disorder #cluster b #cluster b pd #personality disorder #personality disorders #pro endogenic #pro endo #hapshistrionicsdo #mental health #mental illness #actually mentally ill #mentally fucked #mad pride #mad punk

[overandundertarot]

What do you have to be grateful for?

There are many things around us that can skip our notice, but add so much magic and meaning into our lives. This reading is intended to bring some of those things to light.

Please keep in mind that this is a general reading so some parts may not resonate for you.

Please pick a picture/card(1-4, going left to right)

PILE ONE:

Cards; Page of swords, Page of cups reversed, 6 of swords.

Pile one, you have to be grateful for the people in your life who force you to take action. You are supported not just physically but spiritually as well. Sometimes you resist the help and signs given to you by your spiritual guides and they want you to know that that frustrates them. They're saying that you should be grateful that they put up with you, lol 💀. There is a lot of spiritual support in your life that has actually allowed you to unkowingly live in ease. For example, if you were supposed to be in a difficult situation eg the repurcusions of your actions, they softened the blow to make it easier for you. Pile one there is someything you're being called to do, something you have to leave for. It's giving you alot of anxiety which is why you may chose to be passive and stagnant but It's for your highest good. It's time to leave the situation. So, Pile one you have to be grateful for the unconditional love and support you have from your spiritual team, and some people in your physical life as well.

PILE TWO:

Cards; 9 of wands, the star reversed, 10 of swords.

Pile two, something you have to be grateful for in your life is that it's not as bad as it looks. You've been fighting for a while and it's beginning to take it's toll on you. Thoughts of despair, hopelessness and abandonement are filling your mind. But you have to be grateful that you've made it out alive. The situation is tough and stressing you out a great deal but there is a way out. Find somehting that can give you peace of mind and use that headspace to try and think of solutions. What you have to be grateful for is that there is a solution, a path of escape for you to follow. You just have to find it.

PILE THREE:

Cards;Wheel of fortune, 9 of cups, 9 of pentacles.

Wowww, pile three can i just say that i love your energy. What you have to be grateful for is that you have worked very hard to develop yourself, you've done a lot of work and have made the necessary sacrifices. Now it's time for you to enjoy the results of your hard work. You're very aware of what you have done and how much it means to you, I get the feeling that youve intentionally placed everything in your life to be the way that it is, and you maintain it with love and care; frienships, material possesions and most importantly yourself. You have trully developed yourself; overcoming trauma, toxic habits etc and now you understand and appreciate what's in your life everyday. Pile 3 you have to be grateful that you did the hard work, and are now receiving and experiencing the wonderful results this brought into your life. If you are not yet experiencing this, this energy is coming in very soon.

PILE FOUR:

Cards;3 of pentacles, 4 of swords, 10 of swords.

Pile 4 you have recently made a comeback or are going to make a comeback of sorts. You have been resting and gathering energy, working on a project or your craft and are now ready to rejoin the world and show it what you've been doing. However, you are plagued with anxiety about this. Something you might have done in the past was ill received and that completely crushed your spirit, so you are still holding that anxiety. What you have to be grateful for are your skills. The way your craft was/is perceived doesn't take away from its inherent value or beauty. It's not a carelessly produced project/craft, but something that you put a lot of love and care into. You must still have faith and present it, im seeing that it will greatly benefit your community and improve peoples lives on an individual level.

***

Thank you for participating in this pick a card reading!

These pictures are not mine, I found them on pinterest!

#tarot pick a card #tarotblr #tarot #tarot reading #pick a pile #pac #pick a card #pick a picture #divination #intuitive reading #free reading

[smok3r7]

Latching On To You

Joel Miller x F!reader

Explicit, 18+

Chapter Two: History Repeats Itself

Series Masterlist & My Main Masterlist - My Ao3

Series summary: What happens when, after thirteen loving years of being with Joel, you start to feel like he’s slipping away from your grasp? How much of yourself will you lose because of the trauma your father put you through at such a young age? You could be wrong about Joel, but something is telling you otherwise - or are you just not healed enough to see past your own insecurities?

Chapter summary: Fast forward thirteen years, you and Joel have been living the dream married life. Both of you are excelling in work, and have been thriving together - your passion for each other has been strong. But when a close family member of yours dies, you begin to crumble and change into something vile - but Joel, he’s the one who becomes the villain.

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: slight age difference (35/40), No use of y/n, no outbreak AU, smoking weed, abandonment issues, trauma from father w/ alcoholism, losing a loved one, attachment issues, HEAVVY angst, arguing turns kinda physical, accusations of cheating

~Thank you all so much for the love🫂 been feeling a bit under the weather, but y’all have helped with that! Hope you guys enjoy🩷

“Do you want the couch there under that window darlin’?” Joel yells, just as he and Tommy walk in the front door holding either side of the ‘L’ shaped sectional that your great-aunt, Isabelle, had left you. You come around the corner from the kitchen to see Tommy struggling to keep his side up, then you look behind him to Joel, who made the couch look like it weighed as much as a feather.

You were having a hard time trying to figure out where you wanted her couch - only because you and Joel move furniture around all the time and have accumulated a lot of house items since you moved in thirteen years ago. “Umm,” you started as you turned your body towards the living room window, which was huge - almost the length of the wall.

A smile grew on your face as you looked out at the beautiful wooded area behind your house. Then noticed how the sun rays beaming in through the glass pane lit up the room, you immediately knew that was the spot for it, “Yeah I do.”

“You heard my lady, Keep it moving dumbass.” Joel egged his younger brother on, however, Tommy is quick to come back, “Old man, relax, gonna give yourself a heart attack moving like this. Let me just get a better grip.”

Those two bickered back and forth like no one’s business, they never went too far but it always seemed like it could. You always found yourself laughing at them because it always started out with something stupid, it made you feel like kids again - you loved days like that.

You spun on the balls of your feet and walked back into the kitchen to finish dinner, for the three of you, just giggling to yourself. Listening to the two brothers struggle to figure out how to maneuver the couch quickly fades into a random song on the radio you had on in the kitchen.

You made a simple, yet delicious, dinner for the evening. A lemon chicken alfredo pasta, it was Isabelle’s secret recipe, you were the only person in your family to get a secret recipe out of her.

She would make this for you whenever you were sick or just feeling blue. It would make you feel better instantly, it was your comfort food for sure. She was like another mom to you, she showed you how to stick up for yourself, from your own thoughts. When she unexpectedly got sick around two months ago and passed away a week later, to say that her dying had an impact on you, was an absolute understatement. It changed you into an angry shell of a woman, your whole view of life had altered.

—

You got the call just as you were about to walk into a big consultation appointment with a client for your boss - you got promoted, yet again, now you were an assistant for the second best lawyer in the state of Texas, Mr. Dominic DelGato.

As soon as you heard your moms trembling voice answer the phone, you knew something was terribly wrong.

Before you even realized he was next to you the whole call, Mr.DelGato had seen your reaction to what you had just been told, “Go home. I got this, I’ll call you later this afternoon.” He says as you hang up the phone, you look up at him with glossy eyes, “Thank you.” Is all you muster out and then you quickly turn around to head towards your office to gather your things.

Tears threaten to spill down your face as you exit the red-bricked building, trying your hardest to not lose your shit in front of your coworkers and their clients. But once you locked your truck door, the tears started to flow out like a dam that burst open.

—

The thumping of Joel’s work boots on the kitchen tile a couple feet behind you, broke your mind from the memory of that dreadful day. You had been standing at the sink, with the water running, just staring out the window - not looking at anything specific. For what ended up being seven minutes when it only had felt like seconds.

“Baby girl?” He softly asked, already knowing you weren’t really there, he had called out for you a couple times before he walked in. Before you answered, you turned the faucet off and your hands gripped the edge of the counter, taking a second to breathe and looking at the thin band and beautiful diamond on your left hand. “Just got lost for a second baby,” you then turn your body around to face him, “I’m okay.” You half smiled trying to convince him, yet, it seemed like you were convincing yourself.

You can tell Joel wants to push you more but before he can ask if you’re sure, here comes Tommy behind him, “What smells so fucking good hun?” You slide over to the stove to stir the tall pot containing dinner, “Lemon chicken alfredo pasta, my favorite.” You hum as the fresh smell of lemons flows up in your nose.

Joel takes your place at the sink, washing the last of the dishes you used to cook. “God that sounds delicious, you should save a little plate for me hun,” Tommy starts, you snap your head to the left and before you ask questions, Tommy is already sharing why, “Maria is cooking at the house tonight, I can’t stay for dinner. But you guys enjoy and please, relax - you need it.”

“You better get home soon then, I’ve heard she’s got a temper on her.” You joke as Tommy gives you a warm hug, “Don’t get on her bad side, she will hate you. I know that feeling all too well.” Joel chimes in behind you, still washing pans. “Oh do you now?” There’s an inflection in your tone that makes Joel regret letting that fall from his mouth.

A beat goes by and you continue, “Thank you so much for your help today, I really appreciate you. Now get on home before Maria comes looking for you!” Tommy chuckles as he says goodbye to you both and walks towards the front door. After hearing the click of the lock, you exhale, not realizing you were holding your breath.

You silently go back to the pot of hot pasta and make yourself a plate, “Dinner’s ready.” You state walking to the long chestnut table in the dining room, no emotion behind your words. You were now irritated with Joel, why did he have to say that? “I know that feeling all too well” replays over and over in your head. The way he said it made you feel like he was trying to have a pity party for himself, it made you overthink everything about yourself. Hearing Joel like that, had brought you back in time to arguing with your father, that’s what hurts you the most right now.

—

Are you too needy? Do you ask for too much? Are you annoying? Does Joel hate you? Does Joel think I hate him? Is he even happy? You don’t have a temper…or do you? “All too well.”, what does that mean? Why is he the one having a pity party?

—

Your head begins to throb from the incoming migraine, the tips of your ears are burning red, your right leg bouncing underneath the table and your breathing is getting heavier. You are just a bomb waiting to explode, a bomb that Joel has no idea was even here as he sits across from you.

“Delicious as always dear.” Joel exclaimed after his first couple bites, whereas you are basically playing with your plate. “Mhm” you hum becoming annoyed quickly, you were trying your best to not explode on Joel, you simply didn’t have the energy to argue.

Fast Car by Tracy Chapman starts playing through the radio in the kitchen, this brings you over the edge.

“Fucking song.” You grunt and scoot your chair out so you can walk away from the suffocating feeling in the air. Leaving your dirty plate on the table was something you didn’t do, but here you are. “What is going on with you?” Joel questions as you angrily strut past him, trying your best to not cause hell, you ignore him and go out the slider to your backyard. After slamming the slider shut, you feel a brisk breeze that makes you wish you’d grabbed a jacket, but you were not walking back in there.

You grab one of the bigger roaches from the ashtray that’s on the patio table and light it as you curl up in a chair by the empty fire pit.

—

That song just had to play then, you always find a way to torture me don’t you dad? I can never escape you and your evilness, you will follow me till I die, won’t you? Why can't you just leave me alone? Why are you coming through Joel to get to me, what kind of hold do you have over me?

—

Your mind is in shambles, you can’t think straight. You just want to be left alone until you can make sense of them. But Joel can’t read your mind, though you wish he could, so you’re not shocked when you hear the slider open and shut.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry I said that to Tommy. I was just trying to make a lighthearted joke, as soon as I said it, I knew I messed up. Didn’t realize this bad though.” Joel explains, as he kneels in front of your curled up legs, your dead eyes stare at Joel’s dark brown eyes and you take a drag off the roach, blowing the smoke up into the sky between the both of you.

Honestly, you aren’t even upset with him anymore because he apologized like he should - yet you still are raging on the inside because your father never did that. “Baby..please say somethin to me,” Joel pleads, “Even if you have to scream at me, do it.” You took that as a green light and the world you two shared, starts to crack.

“Don’t ever throw around that I hate you. It feels like your asking for fucking sympathy when all I do is love and support you altogether, shit is not funny.” You sternly state as your face goes stone cold, the roach you lit is gone somewhere.

“I wasn’t-“ he starts to interrupt, “Not a fucking negotiation Joel. You just don’t do that, because I have given all of myself to you.”

You’re fuming now, getting yourself all worked up over a joke, deep down you know this is ridiculous but your logical thinking is gone. “Since you feel like me giving you everything you could want and more, is the feeling of someone who hates you and you “know it all too well”. Why are you still around?” You two are standing at this point, you on one end of the patio against a wood pole and Joel is basically mirroring you.

Joel’s face is bright red, eyes twitching, he wants to yell back at you for being crazy but he knows you’re mentally dealing with a lot right now. Now you’re mad because he’s not giving you a reaction, this leads to you thinking he doesn’t care how upset you are. “Are you even fucking listening to me?” You yell taking a couple steps towards him with your arms up to be dramatic, he’s still holding himself back - until you push the final button.

“Fuck you Joel,” you hissed, now in his face. “You know what, it all makes sense now, you don’t care cause you’re out fucking Samantha. Just - Fuck you Joel.” This broke the restraint that Joel had.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” His voice booms outside the patio, he’s never been loud, but you weren’t backing down. “Then explain to me why you’re away all the time with her? You don’t always answer texts or calls when you’re with her, maybe I’m losing my mind but there’s something going on.” Now you’re loud in his face, trying to keep yourself together and trying not to cry.

Joel strides towards you and backs you up into the corner as he towers over you and bites back, “Because I fucking work with her!! She’s my assistant you dumbass!”

Immediately, you go into fight or flight mode - your body naturally choosing fight mode. You forcefully slap Joel across his face, creating a crack that echoed into the trees like Joel’s voice. As he backs away, you bolt into the house, up the stairs into the bedroom you two shared and locked the door. You turned your back to the door and slid down it, sitting on the floor while salty tears hit your lips and chin, terrified for what’s next.

Not even three minutes later, you hear the slider door shut, followed by Joel’s quick and heavy footsteps on the hardwood floor, his keys jingling next, then silence. You wait for him to say something, anything - but the sound of the front door slamming rang through your ears.

Joel left. You couldn’t believe it. Joel really left. You’re sitting on your bedroom floor that you share with Joel, in absolute shock, this was almost identical to how your last interactions with your father went.

—

After about an hour of hoping he would come right back, you were proved wrong, he was still gone and you had no idea where he was - frankly, you didn’t want to know. You find the strength to drag yourself into the bathroom that's connected to the room, and you run yourself an almost boiling hot bath.

You strip yourself of the sweater and jeans that Joel said he loved on you, looking in the mirror, you see a girl you don’t recognize. A girl who is not sure who she is anymore, a girl who is severely damaged, a girl who just wants to be loved and not left behind.

Not crying anymore, but your eyes are still full with tears. You slowly sink into the deep tub of steaming water, the burning sensation bringing you comfort and some kind of security.

You begin to replay the evening in your head, trying to figure out where it all started. But the thing was, it was all you, you’re the one in the wrong, Joel did nothing wrong. Until the end, he did not have to corner you or call you a dumbass, that was Joel’s error, a pretty big one at that.

About two hours later, you’re out of the tub, laying in your shared bed with one of Joel’s flannels on - but Joel’s still not home. You roll over to look at the clock on your nightstand that reads, “12:28AM”. Rolling onto your back, you feel something in your chest rip so violently that you swear, you could hear the rip of your own heart. Did you just lose Joel forever, because you’re turning into your father?

—

Did Joel really abandon you? Is he over at Samantha’s? Did Joel mean it when he called you a dumbass? Why is the curse of your father following you and the man you love so deeply? What are you going to do? This time is different, Joel has never left after an argument - he’s never not been home to sleep either. Are the thirteen years of you and Joel going to be thrown away all because of you?

#joel miller #joel miller x f!reader #latching on to you #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfic #joel miller series #joel miller angst #god this one hurts #based on life events

[thatonebipotato]

hm. i was thinking

those other entities that got egged? they didn't have super great reasons to have been got, but they were supposed to be there. scarab couldn't contain fionnas world because it was canon, it was supposed to be there

its probably different for people as opposed to whole worlds, but the bug was just walking around with prisoners on him at all times with no consequences. they were supposed to be there, even if the reasons they were there kinda sucked

so i think the cosmic workplace is kinda fucked up?? because orbo refused to believe that prismo had broken a cosmic law just bc he's "cool", but everyone else scarab was assigned to were minor infractors and got egged for it

it's possible that it wasn't their first mistake, and in cases like that fire guy that introduced us to Scarab, he literally abandoned his post, which was a cosmic job, so fair enough

but the other two we learned about were playing computer games at work and just stealing some office supplies. which like, emprisonment in response to that but not breaking a law seems... not great?? so idk, maybe scarab just got carried away with keeping order, which makes me question why the higher ups didnt do anything about it, or maybe those higher ups just suck a whole lot

#fionna and cake #prismo the wishmaster #scarab the god auditor #orbo fionna and cake

[bthump]

Idk I too want better for Casca but I really dislike the hype for Casca potentially becoming an apostle, these users put it far better than i would:

https://www.tumblr.com/deripmaver/723418827650727936/why-i-am-a-hater-of-the-apostle-casca

https://www.tumblr.com/deripmaver/723493450382802944/im-so-happy-to-find-another-casca-apostle-hater https://

I skimmed these posts to see whether there were any points made that I felt like "responding" to, and there's a few.

First, Casca being a good person has nothing to do with anything except people not wanting her to become a monster, which I obviously don't vibe with because I think the concept of a good person becoming a monster fucks hard, which is one reason I like Berserk a whole lot. And I think a potential Moonbaby sacrifice would fit perfectly with one of the "good person" sacrifice examples they give: the 'person you loved the most and hated the most' sacrifice motivation, since it's intertwined with Griffith in some metaphysical way and it could be a two for the price of one deal. It's almost too on the nose.

Second, I don't think it necessitates Casca joining Griffith. Griffith seems to be out of the Godhand now, incarnated on the physical realm, presumably no longer presiding over sacrifices, and my favourite worldbuilding pet theory is actually that the godhand and Griffith will be at odds. Something's gotta threaten the godhand's existence since something wiped out the last cycle that we saw in Skull Knight's memory, and an incarnate fifth that appears right on schedule seems like just the thing.

Third, Casca's apostle trauma is, if anything, a sign in favour of her becoming an apostle since like, everyone in Berserk is at least tempted to symbolically become their abuser/rapist/nemesis as part of gaining power, eg:

Why can't Casca get in on the interesting and complicated moral and emotional greys here? This is good shit, I want it for Casca. I want her to be tempted to become what she fears, to escape her own sense of powerlessness through abandoning her morals. It's just a more direct version of Guts wanting to become a monster since that's rooted in rape trauma and both the narrative and Guts himself equates monsters to both his rapist and abuser.

I didn't see them mention the fact that apostles are compelled to love Griffith which to me seems like one of the best arguments against it (though again, I skimmed so maybe I missed it), but Ganishka resisted that, and Casca has a long history of repressing her love for Griffith so I think it could actually be a neat, and overcomeable extension of her human feelings.

Another big and better argument against it, particularly after the last couple chapters, is that Miura clearly just did not give a shit about Casca lol. And I mean I already knew that, one reason I thought the apostle Casca theory held water is that it would be a way for Miura to avoid writing Casca's trauma realistically and instead veer into one big dramatic moment followed by fantastical metaphor while keeping her a less nuanced plot point, albeit a more active and fun one than she had been so far. Instead his way of avoiding writing Casca's trauma realistically was to have her faint any time she thinks about it and then take away her personality AGAIN. So yeah, unfortunately I just don't think Miura wanted Casca to be badass and actively affect the plot. Idk if he ever knew what to do with her after deciding not to kill her off just to motivate Guts post-Eclipse.

Finally I just don't know if there's really time for that anymore. My vision was an Empire Strikes Back style end of second act downturn. Casca becomes a monster and sets a new arc in motion, Guts falls into despair and succumbs to the armour, shit gets real and interesting again for a while. Instead Guts' second act downturn is being mad that Griffith is still a god lol. She could definitely still go apostle at the climax of the story, and you better believe I'm still rooting for that, but idk if it'd be as satisfying lol. But I guess we'll see.

Anyway yeah you're free to disagree with any of my hot takes, but you're not gonna convince me Casca shouldn't become an apostle, because my reasoning ultimately boils down to "I would enjoy it." I would certainly enjoy it a hell of a lot more than fainting damsel in distress Casca which is what we're dealing with right now lol. If your reasoning boils down to "I would not enjoy it" then I probably won't convince you either, and that's fine. We'll find out what's going to happen eventually.

And finally I want to err on the side of caution and make it clear that I have no interest in arguing with the user you linked, and I hope you're not planning to be like, some kind of anonymous go-between linking posts back and forth. I used the linked posts as a bouncing off point to explain some of my reasoning, and that's the end of it as far as I'm concerned.

#character: casca #theme: speculation #theme: behelit #theme: sacrifice #theme: inner monster #ask #anonymous #theme: revenge #a #b #also at the end of the day there is still the question of 'who the hell else is gonna use the behelit?' #guts has his armour he's spoken for in terms of manifesting inner darknesses #anyone else would need their motivation to be both established and executed between now and then which feels intrinsically #unsatisfying to me and a waste of a lot of time we could've been spending on foreshadowing #the exception being serpico who has motivation if farnese dies lol which lbr would suck. and who would he sacrifice? #casca is the only character with a thoroughly established reason to despair plus 3 potential readily available sacrifices #(moonbaby griffith and farnese) plus heaps of ominous foreshadowing surrounding her #plus hey she just got an animal motif to utilize

[felizusnavidad]

I was not looking for swiftie solidarity from this account but i found it! Thank you for being reasonable and making me feel better about this world. The fandom has been driving me insane these past few months. The way people were attacking Joe Alwyn like rabid dogs, assuming the craziest accusations from the TTPD song titles. And now that the album is not what they were expecting, they're still trying to spin it as some songs "applying to both Matty and Joe" just so they feel better. Not even getting into Joe's mental health.

The way I think a portion of the fandom has reached a level of delusion that nothing will get through to them normally, even genuine criticism of Taylor's silence regarding both political events and online vitriol hate of her ex, when she herself went through that craziness. I'd even argue that she egged them on with certain promo pics and tweet likings and whatnot, but okay. And I didn't even get into the weird marketing tactics.

I've just been so disgusted by the hypocrisy of the fandom and Taylor. This album was good for me because it dealt the final blow. I think I have closure now can unstan without feeling regret. I'll still listen to some of her songs but I'm not engaging with this anymore.

Anyways. Maybe this is a sign to get into Lin Miranda?

omg anon 🥺

honestly i feel like i've abandoned this fandom long ago, i kinda stopped talking about taylor here & started distancing myself from swifties (except my small circle of friends), because most of them are crazy (& yes, this comes from me, i used to be a hardcore swiftie too... now i can't believe i was spending so much time online defending this woman?). anyway. i'm not a hater, but this fandom is literally insufferable these days... god forbid you say one bad word about taylor swift, you can't criticise mother, she's a god, she's never done anything wrong in her life, apparently. i'm so sick of all of this, but also i'm not afraid anymore to speak my truth: ttpd is a bad album, taylor swift has done a lot of questionable things, especially last year, this album was unnecessary, i don't want it. i'm back on my broadway shit.

i just hope joe is ok, i hope both sides of his pillow are cold. he doesn't deserve all this hate & i seriously can't believe taylor didn't stop this shit... when the album is not even about him but about this racist piece of shit.

...i don't know who you are but if you didn't unfollow me after i changed my entire account to lmm, this must be a sign. his music was the only thing keeping me alive last year. if you ever decide to check it out, please let me know!

#i've been feeling kinda lonely in all of this for such a long time so it's really nice to see there are more people here #with the same opinion #this is a safe space for all ts criticism #i'm just so done with this shit #which is kinda sad because i've spent most of my life in this fandom #maybe it's time to move on tho #ts #ttpd #anon #i saved every letter you wrote me*

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 2 Pt. 1

Miscellaneous stupid little thoughts for this volume again! Yippee!

...dude kills people with a saxophone. Okay then. Sure. I will incorporate this into my belief system.

This guy actually tried to warn them... the Gung-Ho Guns are actually really interesting. I hope to see some expansion on their individual motives.

LEGATO WTF. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.

I swear he gets cuter in every volume. Look at him.

I would love to know where the GHG get their outfits from... are they like. Coordinating? Is leather in style? Ok, really though, I'm fascinated by the way Knives has... well... knives (or maybe spears?) that almost look like they are piercing his neck, and a big one that looks like it runs straight through his chest. Pointy bits to keep people away from his vulnerable throat and heart, I suppose? A mask to cover his face? Idk. His outfit is certainly a look.

"I just can't catch a break," Midvalley says, in what is a very normal reaction to being forcibly contorted in half on the floor.

They are such idiots together. Bless.

You walk up to someone, he tries to kill you with a sword then tells you he and his beleaguered assassin coworkers are there to cause you eternal suffering. Wdyd?

Hm. That's called sunk cost fallacy, my dude. (Also probably has a bit to do with maintaining honour or pride associated with sword technique... maybe.) Hey have you noticed that the assassins here tend to have one technique they've spent a lifetime mastering and then as soon as Vash manages to counter it that's... just kind of it for them? Monev spent 20 years training and then was nearly killed and just... stopped. EG Mine got his weird hamster ball destroyed and was basically useless after that. Dominique's trick was discovered and she chose to die by jumping rather than wait to be killed. And here, Rai-Dei sees his technique has been bested and immediately abandons his honour to try and stab Vash in the back. I need to take a closer look at this as I'm reading about the rest of them.

Yayyy girls! I love them.

I really appreciate Jessie btw. She sees that Meryl and Milly consider Vash a friend, and despite the fact that all she would've heard of him are the July and Fifth Moon incidents and rumours about his dangerousness, she decides purely based on how much the girls are excited to see him again that he's probably not a bad guy at all and she wouldn't mind meeting him. It's just nice to see random people in this world (that we've been shown over and over again is extremely inhospitable) giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Wolfwood's nightmare sequence. painpainpainpainpain

Vash concussion arc. Lol. (Also I have a lot of thoughts about the theme of protecting one's home that's coming up here... but more on that later)

AUGH???

"The models were dissected while alive" HOLY FUCK. WHAT. EVEN THE BABY? WHAT THE FUCK

The fact that Rai-Dei couldn't feel a single trace of death when challenging Vash but now both Leonof and Wolfwood are terrified because Vash is literally radiating death and pain at the loss of these people. Something something suppressing the force and overwhelm of his loss, which he's carried around inside him for such an inhumanly long time that it is literally overpowering and incomprehensibly terrifying. Something something he cares so much about his family and so very little for himself. Ha. I feel so normal about this.

Well, this was cheery.

If you're wondering why I said hardly anything about Wolfwood here... stay tuned. There will be a part two. :)

#trigun #trigunbookclub #trimax #storyrambles #sorry i fell behind again :/

[lilleputtu]

Ending the round with Aspen playing next to Rowan. These two are pretty darn close, which I think is adorable.

#sims 2 #ts2 #the sims 2 #ts2: Edona's Glade #eg lot: Abandoned Keep #eg sim: Aspen Thistleroot #eg sim: Rowan Thistleroot the Cat

[basicallyahedgehog]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thanks for the tag @maesterchill, I loved reading your answers!

Here are mine! (under the cut)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 30!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

64,491, which is higher than I expected actually. My one 13k fic is doing the hard work in pulling up the average words 😂

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter!! Various ships but mostly Drarry

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Love You Find - The one with the road trip My Heart Was Unprepared - The one with Draco's diary All The Time In The World - The one with gender euphoria The Strings That Weave Us - The one where Draco has pink hair The Evolution of Soup (Or How Harry Learned to be Loved) - The one with too much soup and a lot of feelings

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

No, but not by choice per se. But I have truly terrible object permanence and by the time I remember them I feel bad that I haven't responded yet and then I never do...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Til The End of The Night - I don't really write fics that don't have happy endings, but this is just 700 words of angst. Sorry Harry. I do have a kind-of sequel planned for this but who knows if it will ever get finished!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

As I said, I don't really write not happy endings. But maybe The Love You Find.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've had a couple of odd comments, but none that I would class as hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written exactly two fics that have smut, one drarry and one poly golden trio. So I'm not sure if I have a kind? Probably soft and sweet, or at least that's what I aim for.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No I haven't, and I don't think I ever will. I don't really know any other universe in the same way as I know HP - both the canon and then the world I've built for it in my head - to be able to confidently combine them.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I'd be open to it if anyone ever wanted to.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't! @phoebe-delia and I keep talking about it though...

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Drarry, always

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

As mentioned above, I have twoish chapters written of a "sequel" (maybe more a companion?) to Til The End Of The Night. It's the first Drarry fic I started writing and it got abandoned in favour of fest fics and I've never gotten back to it. I would like to think I will, but at this point my faith is low!

I also have the first four books written of a Hermione-POV canon, which was my first ever fanfic. It has been long abandoned and will never be returned to. If you manage to track down my old ffn account and find it, godspeed to you

16. What are your writing strengths?

Ummm. People tell me I make them feel things, so maybe that? I also can't turn my SPAG brain off, so as long as I slow down enough to edit my own writing, that's usually pretty strong.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am not good at writing plotty things, and when I do try I find it really hard to not just info-dump it - to actually describe what is happening instead of just narrating it to the reader. I can do vibes, but not plot 🤷

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I love it in other people's fics, but I do not have more than a couple of random words in any language other than English. I know that translation sites exist, but I feel that I don't have enough knowledge of other languages to do it justice.

The only time I'd break this self-imposed rule would be if I was making new spells - eg using Latin.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. First and only!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh boy. Either All The Time in the World or (They) Keep Me Warm. Because both of them are full of all my trans feels and are probably the two fics that I have put the most of myself into.

Thanks again for the tag, this was fun! No-pressure tagging @phoebe-delia @otpcutie @geesenoises @citrusses @makeitp1nk and anyone who wants to!!

#tag games #writing things #my writing

[the-one-with-the-nails]

chris/justin, motionless in white, t, 800 words

"… leaping into the other’s arms" from the semi-NSFW meme. My first Motionless in White fic 🤘 Thanks for the prompt, anon! :) You can find this one on AO3 too.

The cool thing about going from openly-affectionate-bros to boyfriends is that basically nobody bats an eyelash when the openly affectionate shit keeps going. (Well, that’s not totally true. Ryan gets this sly look behind his vape sometimes, like the facial manifestation of tutting ‘heh, gay.’ Like he wasn’t egging them to hook up from the day Justin got Motionless minted for real. Justin just flips him off, it’s all good.)

When Chris comes loping down the otherwise abandoned terminal like a rescue greyhound chasing some fresh frisbee, Justin just braces his knees and throws out his arms to catch him. Chris is kinda obsessed with being picked up, which Justin totally gets. Once you hit the five foot mark as a dude, it’s kinda game over in the uppies department – unless you find someone bigger than you. And before Justin, Chris was usually the biggest motherfucker in the room.

It’s total hell on Justin’s back… but it does great things for his self-esteem, being able to catch Chris and hike him up on his hips for a wobbly ride down the dank, carpeted corridor. Chris is bare faced like he usually is during downtime, so Justin can see splotches patches of pink high on his cheek bones. Even better, when Chris breathes “hey,” it’s in that low, happy rasp that usually precedes a kiss.

Justin’s hard in his joggers.

“Hey, hot mama,” Justin jokes, still toddling along with Chris’s arms snaked around his neck and his warm, heavy, be’sweatered body draped along Justin’s front. He grins. “Ya miss me that much?”

Chris’s eyes go heavy-lidded. “What do you think, asshole?” he asks, and then they’re kissing. With tongue. Like, kind of way more tongue than should be legal in an airport, even if it’s a fuckin’ ghost town at this hour. Justin groans a little, moves a hand to Chris’s butt for a possessive squeeze.

“Where the fuck is the baggage claim?” Ricky grumbles somewhere to their left. Justin stops sucking Chris’s tongue and sneaks a glance at the guys to make sure that, yeah, they’re all just moseying like normal.

“Downstairs,” Vinny says without looking up from his phone. “Hey, do we have, like, a van waiting, or did you Uber here alone?” he asks Chris.

“Van,” Chris confirms, contentedly tucking his face into Justin’s neck. Which basically melts his heart into bubbly goo. One less solid thing for his spine to have to support, he guesses. “They’re circling outside until we get out there.”

“Cool.”

“I know I’m too heavy, I’m just being a greedy bitch,” Chris says lowly. Ryan and maybe Ricky can probably hear him too – everything echoes a little in this utility carpet purgatory – but nobody says anything. (“You’re not heavy,” Justin lies immediately.) Chris butts his beaky nose against the hinge of Justin’s jaw. “I missed being in your arms.”

“My arms missed you being there,” Justin says conversationally. It’s still so fucking weird, doing the cutesy couple talk shit and it’s legit instead of brohomo. His boots clunk extra heavy on the floor because he’s kinda stomping to make room for the big booty koala in his embrace, but like. He’s a corn-fed American, it’s his god given right to be loud for no reason. “I missed you being there.”

“What else do your arms feel about me?” Chris asks, and okay, that’s a silly thing to say, obviously meant to make Justin laugh, but like. Justin’s arms actually have a lot to say on the subject of Chris. How if they could get away with it, they’d never let him go. They’d keep Chris tucked against him even on stage, Justin’s bass slung over Chris’s backside so he could keep playing while Chris yowled into a mic right by his ear. (Justin likes when Chris yowls right by his ear. Hopefully he will be doing it in a hotel bed in the next hour.)

But, uh, the whole stage cuddles idea might actually be too openly affectionate, actually. Codependent. Clingy.

Chris must sense his line of thought, because he breathes a warm laugh against Justin’s neck. Chris wiggles to drop his long legs down and force Justin to let him walk on his own before they get tangled and fall over. Not that Justin’s dick would mind rolling around on the floor together.

“Someone else missed me too,” Chris points out as he loiters all hot and lanky and fat assed against Justin’s front. Jeeesus Christ, this guy.

“Of course I missed you, buddy,” Vinny deadpans without missing a beat, and Chris laughs all the way to baggage claim. Justin’s right on his heels like he’s the rescue dog now, no frisbee necessary to keep his attention.

He has no reason to hoist Chris up while they wait for their bags to come around the conveyor, but nobody but Justin’s back has shit to say.

#my fic #motionless in white fic #justin morrrow x chris motionless #miw fic #motionless in white rpf #miw rpf

[trillscienceofficer]

In truth I pretty much abandoned my Kira/Jadzia/Lenara projects because I think that that Federation-othering-of-the-Bajoran-struggle I was talking about yesterday in the context of Jadzia and Kira's rapport would become much more evident in any interaction between Kira and Lenara. Lenara is basically an overworked academic without tenure in a scientific field, and her characterization makes her a rule-follower who, before Jadzia, likely toed the line as she was told to both as a Trill initiate and, I assume, as an academic as well. While I'm sure Lenara is aware of the history of the Cardassian occupation of Bajor (she did choose specifically DS9 for her experiments), it's still a far cry from the commitment of keeping the Cardassians far away from Bajor & the station that Jadzia has assumed a Starfleet officer. Jadzia also demonstrated a willingness to go above and beyond her duties for that commitment, following Kira literally into battle eg in “The Siege”. Given this, it's fair to assume a level of trust between them that makes Kira willing to forgive a lot in Jadzia's attitude, and I'm not sure she would be as understanding with someone else who was not her close coworker/co-conspirator. Of course Kira is a remarkably open and forgiving person, especially given her history! Her storyline with Ghemor (and later, with Damar and Garak) wouldn't have happened otherwise. But this is a possible conflict I've always been very aware of, and frankly I always felt pretty unequipped to deal with. Closeness with Lenara would also be a significant departure from the kind of (romantic) relationships Kira seems to seek out in canon—it's always been people who have been her comrades and/or leaders in the anti-Cardassian struggle (Bareil and Shakaar), or otherwise people who are well aware of what anti-Cardassian struggle entails (Odo and hell, even Thomas Riker and Miles O'Brien). Jadzia fits in this category at least a little bit, but Lenara does NOT at all! It would probably be the most interesting part of the whole triangle but also the most difficult to get right, especially adding in Jadzia's involvement as a bit of middle ground, on multiple levels. And I would want to get all of that really right, which is where things get difficult.

#i have made this post before i'm sure lmao #i'm so good at talking myself out of ideas <3 #ds9

[scotianostra]

On the 3rd October 1721 The Rev. John Skinner, author of "Tullochgorum", described by Robert Burns as “the best Scotch song ever Scotland saw” was born at Balfour, Aberdeenshire. I always like when the Reverend Skinner pops up as it gives me an excuse to post one of my favourite old Scottish songs, and tell the story about it.

The tune Tullochgorum had been around for a long time before one day John Skinner was visiting one of his parishioners, a Mrs Montgomery in the town of Ellon near Aberdeen, the conversation over dinner must be just like conversations nowadays, as it had turned to politics in order to turn the chat away from this heated debate Mrs Montgomery suggested the good Reverend should write a wee song, and further put to him it should be to the old fiddle tune ‘The Reel o’ Tullochgorum ’

And gie’s a song, the lady cry’d, and lay your disputes a’ aside What signifies’t for folks to chide for what was done before them Let Whig and Tory a’ agree Whig and Tory, Whig and Tory Whig and Tory a’ agree to drop their Whig-malorum Let Whig and Tory all agree to spend the night in mirth and glee And cheerful sing alang wi’ me the Reel o’ Tullochgorum O Tullochgorum’s my delight, it gars us a’ in ane unite And ony sumph that keeps up spite, in conscience I abhor him For blythe and merry we’ll be a’ Blythe and merry, blythe and merry Blythe and merry we’ll be a’, and make a happy quorum For blythe and merry we’ll be a’ as lang as we hae breath tae draw And dance till we be like to fa’, the Reel o’ Tullochgorum What needs there be sae great a fraise like dringing dull Italian lays I wadna gie our ain strathspeys for half a hunder score o’ them They’re dowf and dowie at the best Dowf and dowie, dowf and dowie Dowf and dowie at the best wi’ a’ their variorum They’re dowf and dowie at the best, their allegros and a’ the rest They canna please a Highland taste compar’d wi’ Tullochgorum May choicest blessings aye attend each honest open-hearted friend And calm and quiet be his end, and a’ that’s good watch o'er him May peace and plenty be his lot Peace and plenty, peace and plenty Peace and plenty be his lot, and dainties a great store o’ them May peace and plenty be his lot unstain’d by ony vicious plot And may he never want a groat that’s fond o’ Tullochgorum.

A wee bit more about Skinner himself, originally a presbyterian minister he had abandoned that in favour of Episcopalian, at this time the Jacobite uprising was gathering pace and, although Skinner was no Jacobite, he was caught up in the movement and accused of the “crime” as it was. It got so bad for the poor reverend that his Chapel was one of those that were burnt by ‘The Campbells’; the soldiers of the ruthless ‘Butcher’ Cumberland, egged on by the same local persecutor Skinner lampooned in his sermons. In 1753, Skinner was jailed also in Aberdeen for six months for the offence of ministering to a gathering of more than four people. Skinner used to officiate to his own family within his house, while the people stood outside and listened through the open windows, he was a very popular guy! So as well as a minister and a poet/songwriter Skinner also took to history, in 1788, he published his ‘Ecclesiastical History of Scotland’. This was a detailed account of the affairs of the Episcopal Church, from the time of the Reformation up to the death of Charles Stuart. Skinner dedicated this work to his son. He was also asked by Bishop Gleig to contribute to the ‘Encyclopaedia Britannica’, which he did with materials on ‘The Origin of Language’, ‘Episcopacy’ and ‘The Wisdom of the Egyptians’.

The poet Robert Burns was a big fan of Skinner’s work, and when, in the late 1780’s the Ayrshire bard was in Aberdeenshire he passed close to Skinners home, only finding out afterwards. The two began corresponding with each other and Burns included three of Skinners poems in his collection Johnston’s Miscellany’, this included Tullochgorum, Burns told Skinner his letter was, “by far the finest poetic compliment I ever got in plain dull prose.”

In latter life, Skinner was presented with the ‘Freedom of the City’ of Old Aberdeen. The Reverend John Skinner died in Aberdeen on the 16th of June, 1807, in the house of his son the Bishop, with whom he had been staying. He was buried in the Kirkyard in Longside, where there is a monument erected to his memory.

#scotland #scottish #history #church minister #songwriter #Youtube