#egg writes

[thief-of-eggs]

Headcanon that Kon finally works up the nerve to confess his love to Tim- except he messes up and confesses on April Fools day, so after a long pause where Tim’s heart nearly leaves his chest, he just laughs and says “good one”

And while Kon is momentarily confused (and a little crushed), he quickly is reminded of the date by a less than favorable prank pulled by Bart- and instead of explaining things to Tim, he decides to roll with it

It becomes an inside joke between them both. Kon starts saying “love ya” before every mission- and he means it. But Tim just takes it as a joke, and he pretends it doesn’t make his cheeks flush, pretends it doesn’t make his heart race.

The longer it goes on without Tim confessing back, the bolder Kon grows. He is pretty sure Tim likes him back, given he can hear how Tim’s heart races each time he flirts- but he’s still waiting for the proper confession. And what better way to draw it out than by getting flirtier and flirtier?

“Have a good meeting, baby, I hope they don’t keep you from me for too long”

“Hey there hot stuff, is that a batarang in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

“Have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes look Tim? Because they really are. Brighter than the whole night sky alight with stars.”

Tim goes insane. He can’t show how much the phrases are affecting him, can’t let Kon know it isn’t a joke to him- so he flirts back. Because why on earth would he be normal and just talk about it?

He starts small, and works his way up to bolder statements. Speaking his heart, veiling the words as bits of their joke.

“Hey pretty boy, you gonna join us on this mission or is your head still in the clouds?”

“Calm down Kon, this is a sparring ring, not our bedroom”

“Can I get a kiss for luck babe? You know I always perform better when I’m around you.”

It’s like a game. Of wits, of wills. Everyone watches from a far with their eyebrows raised, watching the gayest friendship they’ve ever seen as the boys both flirt and flirt, a sort of game of chicken that neither seems to know the rules to.

It takes months for things to escalate so much till they’re essentially just dating. Tim doesn’t realize it until they’re sitting curled up on the couch together after a mission, his head on Kon’s shoulder, their legs intertwined under the blanket.

“We’re dating… aren’t we?”

Kon kisses the top of his head. “Took you a while, Mr detective.”

Tim’s face flushes as he rethinks every phrase Kon ever said to him, before winding back to that first fateful confession.

His heart skips a beat as the meaning dawns on him.

“You love me,” he says, less a question more a statement.

“I do,” Kon replies, fighting off a smile.

Tim’s heart races a mile a minute. He pushes away from Kon to look him in his eyes, his ribs feeling too small to contain his growing heart.

“I love you too,” he says, breathless with the confession.

“I know,” Kon answers, his eyes twinkling. Tim wants to punch him- but then Kon is kissing him, and Tim forgets every hostile feeling.

He pushes their combined idiocracy aside and grabs Kon by his shirt, and pulls the super into him.

#timkon #drabble #egg writes #tim drake #kon el kent #april fools #dc #kon el superboy

[composeregg]

#polls #egg speaks #ak #fuckin around w this #writing #egg writes #my writing #this is done on mobile and not even getting a 2nd glance so. enjoy! #time loop poll

[composereggwrites]

My preview for the @rivalszine akeshu charity zine! The zine will be proof-of-donation to a charity, and sales are expected to start on 2/2, fittingly.

My piece itself also takes place on that anniversary, though Akira is having a much less fun time than we will be (but it's okay, it's hurt/comfort, I promise!)

#akeshu #shuake #akira kurusu #goro akechi #ren amamiya #joker persona 5 #persona 5 #p5 #persona 5 protagonist #akeshuake #shuakeshu #joker p5 #crow p5 #persona series #persona #rivals zine #egg writes #my writing #writblr

[a-casual-egg]

It's a one-shot, and it's got td spoilers

So, @a1asta1r posted something about wanting someone to draw/write Raj teaching Bowie how to skate, and since I was already thinking about it, I thought I might as well. Hopefully, it's good. Anyway, without further ado

—

If someone asked Raj if he likes away games or home games better, it would take him 30 minutes, maybe more, to tell them he likes them both equally. With home games, The Snow Owls have home advantage, which is obviously a plus. With away games, the team gets to travel and see different places. Therefore, both are good, so how could he choose one to be better than the other? It's impossible! This time however, he has to admit he’s more excited over an away game.

—

When The Snow Owls found out where they'd be going for their next game, it sounded oddly familiar. Raj asked Wayne if he knew where they'd heard that name before, but Wayne was just as lost as Raj. It wasn't until after practice that Raj remembered Bowie saying something about it, something about how he lives around there, maybe? Raj unlocks his phone and texts Bowie to double-check.

It takes a couple of minutes for Bowie to respond, but he does respond with a confirmation and asks why Raj asks in the first place. Raj types out a very ramble-y text in response about how he has an away game there soon and how the place sounded familiar and how he remembered Bowie saying something about it. Then Raj puts his phone down out of nervousness that he said too much.

He quickly checks his phone again when he hears it buzz.

"Thats cute, maybe we could hang out if you're there long enough" Bowie responds.

Raj stares at the text for a couple of minutes. His brain fills with ideas of getting to hang out with Bowie physically again. They could hold hands, and hug, and maybe even kiss. Raj feels his face heat up at the last thought and a smile forming on his lips.

Raj realizes he's been zoned out for a while and should probably say something, so he quickly texts back, "yeah that sounds nice"

“Who knows, maybe you’ll tell me more about hockey then you’ve already told me and you’ve told me a lot.” Bowie teases

Raj audibly chuckles as he feels the feeling of embarrassment swell in his chest. Does he really talk that much about hockey? Well, before he met Bowie, he did think all there was to life was hockey. Not that he was upset about it. Hockey’s pretty much his favorite thing in the world. That, and his friends, but his friends are all on his hockey team, so Raj guesses they get grouped in with all the other parts of hockey. Either way, Bowie’s been added to the list of his favorite things, and he knows Bowie doesn’t mean anything by it.

“Yeah, maybe we could go skating or something”. Raj pauses, “Do you know how to skate actually?”

“I’m sure you could teach me~”

Raj holds his phone to his chest, just thinking about it. He could teach Bowie how to ice skate. He’s been doing hockey and by extension ice skating for years. Besides if Bowie fell at anytime Raj could catch him and he could help him balance by letting Bowie hold on to him for balance. Raj’s face heats up again, a blush covering his cheeks even more.

“Alright it’s a date” Raj texts back then quickly following it up with “if you want it be a date I mean, ‘it’s a date’ is just a saying but if you want it to be date that’s cool too, I’m totally cool with it being a date”.

“It’s a date then” Bowie responds and that makes Raj’s smile even wider. He puts his phone down and flaps his hands from happiness.

—

Bowie knows more about hockey than your average person thanks to Raj. He also knows that Raj is in his element when playing hockey and that it’s nice to just watch him play. It’s a tense game with both teams tied. They’re in the third period and it’s still anyone’s game. Internally Bowie is cheering for Raj and the other Snow Owls, he’d do it out loud but that’d probably distract Raj. So he sits back and watches Raj be in his element.

If anyone in the stands glanced over at the stylishly dressed gay they would see him making heart eyes at a certain Snow Owl, his Snow Owl. His Snow Owl is too busy playing hard to send a loving look up to Bowie and would probably be too embarrassed to do so anyway. It’s okay, Bowie knows he’ll be looking lovingly the entire time he teaches Bowie how to ice skate. Bowie lets his mind wander to Raj teaching him how to skate. Raj’s hands in his, getting to cling onto Raj, getting to see Raj’s flustered face when Bowie flirts with him. He’ll probably kiss him too, that’s bound to make Raj blush. He gets shaken from his thoughts as a loud buzzer buzzes, signifying a buzzer beater.

It’s the winning shot, and the crowd in the stands that support The Snow Owls are going wild. Bowie looks over to Raj to see him celebrating. It makes him smile fondly. Raj and Wayne pull each other into a big hug. They both hoot in celebration, and other Snow Owls do the same. As Wayne turns away to high-five another teammate, Raj looks up in the stands scanning for Bowie, their eyes meet, and Raj smiles his little awkward smile. Bowie finds it adorable. He smiles in return and waves. Raj smiles wider before quickly turning away to cover his blushing face and to leave the ice with the rest of the team.

—

Raj finds Bowie later and he jogs up to Bowie, still a bit out of breath.

“Hey”

“Hey to you too”

Raj smiles and rubs the back of his neck, “So, you ready to learn how to skate?”

“I’ve never been readier.”

“Ok, then let’s get you some ice skates, people who just wanna skate can get some over here.”

Bowie grabs Raj’s hand as Raj leads him over to the ice skate rental. Raj walks a bit faster, trying to hide the blush on his face. After they get the skates, they find one of the other rinks. They find one that isn’t too crowded, and they sit down on a bench to put on their skates. While Bowie puts his ice skates on, Raj instructs Bowie in the best way to tie his skates.

“If you’re so knowledgeable about this why don’t you just do it?” Bowie asks teasingly.

Raj’s eyes widen a bit before saying “Uhh, sure I can do that!”.

Bowie smiles to himself before bringing the ice skates in front of Raj so he can tie them. Raj ties Bowie’s laces while explaining step by step what he’s doing so Bowie knows what to do if he wants to ice skate on his own someday.

“I know I’m explaining something as simple as tying laces and I don’t mean for it to come across as me babying you, I don’t think you’re a baby unless you want me to call you baby as like a pet name I mean, I’m not saying if you want me to be mean to you I just-” Raj rambles as he finishes tying them.

Bowie puts a finger over Raj’s mouth and smiles, “it’s okay, I promise.”

Raj just looks at Bowie’s pretty face for a few seconds before responding with “right, okay, cool cool”. Raj rubs the back of his neck again, “You ready to get on the ice now?”

Bowie nods and tries to get up but wobbles a bit as he gets up. Raj grabs him before he can trip and fall. In return, Bowie clings to Raj so he doesn't fall. When Bowie catches his balance, Raj moves his hands to Bowie's hands. Bowie holds onto Raj as he awkwardly walks in ice skates for the first time. Raj leads Bowie into the rink and holds Bowie steady as he steps on the ice for the first time. Bowie tightens his grip on Raj's hands as he steps onto the ice, essentially fearing for his life. Ok, maybe it's not that dramatic, but he could fall, and that would hurt a lot. It would hurt psychically, and it would hurt his pride. He looks up from his skates to Raj's face, Raj is smiling softly, trying to reassure Bowie that everything will be fine. Bowie takes a deep breath and eases his grip on Raj's hands a little bit as he calms down slightly and so he doesn't cut off circulation of some kind.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”

“Okay so it may be tempting to look down while learning to skate, but you shouldn’t do that.”

“But what if I want to look at you?” Bowie smiles.

“Oh! Uhhhh, that’s fine. If you want to look at me, I mean, I meant not looking straight down, like at your feet. You shouldn’t do that.”

“Oh alright. I’ll just have to look at your adorable face then.”

Raj’s brain stops working for a second, and he lets go of one of Bowie’s hands to rub the back of his neck and chuckle nervously. Bowie, on the other hand, starts to wobble with only one of Raj’s hands to help him balance. He tries to skate a bit closer to Raj so he can grab ahold of Raj with his now free hand but trips in the process, falling almost face first into Raj. Luckily, Raj catches Bowie before they both end up falling onto the ice rink. Bowie clings onto Raj for dear life.

“Uh, Bowie?” Raj asks, muffled by Bowie’s arm over his mouth.

Bowie hesitantly pushes himself off of Raj and moves his arms from Raj’s head to one on Raj’s shoulder and the other in Raj’s hand. Raj holds Bowie’s hand but doesn’t move his other hand from Bowie’s waist.

“Heh, guess you could say you couldn’t help falling for me?” Raj jokes, smiling expectantly at Bowie.

“That was corny, but it was also cute, so I’ll let you have it.” Bowie smiles at the corny joke and Raj’s face.

They stand there for a little while, just smiling at each other until Raj remembers what they’re here to do. “We’ll need to work on your balance first. I’m gonna let go so you can get ahold of your center of balance, okay?”

“If you must.”

“It’ll be okay. You should hold on to the wall for support, too.” Raj says, pointing to the low wall next to them. “I’m still right here to help.”, Raj gives Bowie’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Okay, I can do this, you got this Bowie.” Bowie says as he tries to hype himself up.

“You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Raj slowly lets go of Bowie. Bowie wobbles and holds tightly onto the wall but slowly gains his balance. Slowly, being the keyword as Bowie trying to balance on ice skates takes longer than he cares to admit. He does do it, though, and smiles at Raj when he succeeds. Raj smiles back with a wide smile.

“See, it’s not so bad! You’re getting the hang of it already!”

“Raj, I haven’t even started skating yet.”

“Well no, but balance is very important to skating, and you’re doing well!”

“Thank you.”

Raj skates closer to Bowie and takes Bowie’s hands in his, “Do you want to start trying to skate now?”

“Only if you’re holding my hand.”

Raj intertwines their fingers and smiles reassuringly, “I’ll be right here.”.

“Okay, how exactly do I start skating?”

“Okay so you’re going to want to point both your feet forward and turn your right foot slightly so it can be your pushing foot, like this.” Raj demonstrates.

Bowie does the same.

“Okay, good! Now keep your balance centered above your skates and bend your left knee deeper and push off with your right foot.”

Bowie hesitantly does the same, and he slowly glides forward a bit messily. Raj skates right next to him.

“Now just keep that position, and there you go, you’re gliding!”

“Are you sure?” Bowie asks nervously.

“Yep! Then you just keep gliding until you want to stop.”

“And how do I do that?” Bowie asks nervously.

“Oh yeah! Okay, so point your knees slightly inward and press on the outside edges of your blades. Your toes are supposed to point in toward each other, too. Only use a little bit of pressure, though.”

Bowie awkwardly does as Raj instructs, and a bit of snow kicks up as he stops.

“There you go!”

“That feels embarrassing.” Bowie sighs.

“Well this is your first time doing it. You can’t do incredible on your first try. Ice skating takes a lot of work. I fell a bunch when I first learned.”

“Really?” Bowie asks incredulously. The idea of Raj failing at ice skating seems absurd, even if it was when he was little. Bowie just can’t picture it.

“Yeah, I cried a lot.” Raj admits, embarrassed, “but I kept going and look at me now!”

“Impressive”

“My point is ice skating is hard for everyone, so don’t beat yourself up over it. I think you’re doing a great job.”

“Well I do have a great teacher.”

“Heh, thank you”. Raj says, blushing.

Bowie tries to lean forward to kiss Raj but trips forward, landing in Raj’s arms. Raj helps him up and holds Bowie steady, and Bowie holds Raj’s face in his hands. Raj tilts his head up for Bowie to kiss him. In Raj’s arms, Bowie leans into the kiss. Raj melts into the kiss. To him, the only people there are him and Bowie. That is until he hears someone yell his name.

“Rajie, there you are! Oh hey, Bowie!”

Both Raj and Bowie turn to see Wayne waving at them. Raj feels his face heat up out of an embarrassment. Meanwhile, Bowie waves back at Wayne.

“Coach’s been looking for you, Rajie.”

"Oh, right. I better head back now." Raj says shyly.

Raj and Bowie make their way out of the ice rink and change back into their shoes. Raj returns the rental ice skates while Wayne and Bowie chat. The trio finally make their way back to the coach of The Snow Owls and the team.

"There you are, Raj! Thought we lost you for a minute there." The coach says.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Raj apologizes.

"No harm done, kid. We gotta go know, though, so say goodbye to your friend." The coach gestures to Bowie.

"Uhhh, bye Bowie, it was nice seeing you." Raj says shyly.

"It was nice seeing you too, goodbye." Bowie punctuates his goodbye with another kiss.

Bowie savors the surprised and flustered look on Raj's face before he turns around and leaves. Raj weakly waves goodbye, and Wayne puts his arm around Raj's shoulder.

"Good going, bud! You got two kisses in one day!"Wayne says excitedly.

"Yeah," Raj responds, dazed.

"Alright, nothing to see here, boys. Let's roll out." Instructs their coach as the boys move out.

Raj runs, grabs his bag, and follows behind the rest of the team right next to Wayne.

"So," Wayne starts, "What were you doing with Bowie anyway? If I'm allowed to ask."

"I'll tell you when we're home." Raj says, patting his best buddy's back. Right now, all Raj is thinking about is Bowie and a nice long rest.

#td spoilers #total drama #total drama 2023 #total drama revival #total drama reboot #total drama reloaded #I've seen it as both #td Bowie #td Raj #td Wayne #Rajbow #I imagine Bowie and Raj are from different places in Canada #like Wayne and Raj are from Northern Alberta and I don’t think Bowie is #so trying to figure out a reason that they would be in the same place so they can hang out was something #I don’t know how long hockey teams stay in places for away games but let’s pretend they stay for a bit after #also Raj gets to be autistic #egg writes #I hope people like this

[royalarchivist]

Ramon: So opinions on [Bagi]?

Fit: She's legit, we can trust her. We can trust her.

Ramon: Would you rather a dad or a mom [for me?]

Fit: Uh- I- no one! No one. Let's- let's get over to Felps' Square, Ramon. [They head to the warp at Spawn, then Fit hesitates] Um, wait- Ramon. [He pauses, briefly looks at the camera, then says in a rush] If I had to choose between the two, it'd be a dad. Alright, let's go. Let's go, let's go.

#FitPac #Hideduo #Ramon #FitMC #QSMP #Ramon driving the Hideduo bus today and frickin FLOORING it #I'm a slowburn enjoyer but I do love it when the Eggs are little bastards and tease their parents like this LMAO #If I have time maybe I can compile some of the Fit/Pac moments from today #Ok but this out of everything that's happened lately re: Hideduo stuff; this really warmed my heart #idk it just felt so... realistic? I dunno how to phrase it but something about it really made me go :') #''if I had to choose between the two it'd be a dad'' #man idk maybe this is just because that's how I write characters but that really spoke to me #both as a slowburn writer and as a demi-leaning person

[sergeifyodorov]

when hockey players have hobbies outside hockey it's always like, pop songs on the acoustic guitar or the same video games they've been playing since juniors or cooking something slightly fancier than eggs. learn to knit for god's sake

#btw i am a proud 'cooking something slightly fancier than eggs' hobbyist dont get it twisted. but they need to branch out #WHEN will we have a hockey whose passion is writing godawful sci fi pulp novels #or really difficult platformers/metroidvanias #or the flute

[feluka]

when you were herbivore

couldn't look you in the eye

you're just like an angel

your shell makes me cry

you float like a leaf

in a beautiful pond

i wish i was aquatic

you're so fucking aquatic

but i'm a creep

i'm terrestrial

what the hell am i doing at sea

i don't belong here

#imagine if you will. a tortoise goes to the beach. she falls in love with a sea turtle that came to shore to lay eggs. #but they are separated by different habitats. so she waits for her to come to shore every time she lays eggs to watch her from afar. #tortoise #sea turtle #turtles #id in alt - thanks to ryutarotakedown for writing it!

[eggbreadboi]

Names

I was thinking a lot about what it’s like to be separated from your culture and language (be that Asirpa, who in order to write, would have to write in a language that isn’t her own, whose companions don’t speak her language, or Vasily who can’t speak easily, not to mention doesn’t have many people around him who speak Russian)and human connection despite that. idk. thematic soup, mostly. I always thought that as an Ogata foil Vasily should’ve had more bonding time with Asirpa, and I always thought he’d be a bit more receptive. smth smth man with hobbies probably better adjusted (no, he’s probably not)

#anyway i love them #writing your name in the snow as a trope. is that a trope. maybe #egg’s art #golden kamuy #gk #vasily pavlichenko #vasily golden kamuy #asirpa #digital art #digital comics #comic short

[tubborucho]

In honor of QSMP Language Day, this is a list of how would you spell each Egg’s name in russian (at least how I would do it):

Chayanne – Чаян

Tallulah – Таллула

Ramon – Рамон

Dapper – Даппер

Leo – Лио/Лео (in general the name Leonarda and Leo would be Лео, but I went first with how the name sounds, and it’s closer to Лио)

Richarlyson, Richas – Ричарлисон, Ричас

Pomme – Пом

Empanada – Эмпанада

SunnySideUp, Sunny – СанниСайдАп, Санни

Pepito – Пепито

Chunsik – Чуншик

Trump, Trumpet – Трамп, Трампет

Tilin – Тилин

Juanaflippa – Хуанафлиппа

Bobby – Бобби

Hope – Хоуп (fun fact: we actually also use russian word for hope as a name – Надежда/Nadezhda)

Несколько рандомных скриншотов для счастья :D

#liss writes posts #qsmp #qsmp eggs

[thief-of-eggs]

Your daily reminder that fic writers work for free!!

Please be kind to them, they are under no obligation to keep providing content, or to shape their content to your exact needs <3

#fic writing #fanfic things #fanfiction #fandoms #fanfic authors #egg speaks #ao3 #ao3 things #ao3 writer

[composeregg]

🌹

oh god I forgot I just did this, thanks for reminding me to open my newest wip up at home instead of just at work! I'm about to have a monstrosity of tabs open

for every “🌹” received in my inbox i’ll post one random sentence of a random WIP i’m currently writing

The words repeat in Jon’s mind, circling around and around like the carousel spinning in the Stranger’s domain.

#egg speaks #egg answers #mootablemimic #mutie #my writing #egg writes #ask meme #answered

[composereggwrites]

Less Tell-Tale Than Previously Believed

My piece for the @rivalszine, now live on ao3!

Fic here!

Rating: T Fandom: Persona 5 Royal Characters: Akira Kurusu, Goro Akechi Relationships: Akeshu Notes: Anniversaries, Drunken Shennanigans, Reunions

Summary:

Akira Kurusu has days.

Dates of importance, each with their own special meaning. Remembrance must be observed. It has been observed just so for the past three years.

On February 2nd, three years after he lost Akechi, he finds him again. Except, this can't be real, can it?

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #akeshu #shuake #akira kurusu #goro akechi #akeshuake #persona 5 protagonist #joker p5 #joker persona 5 #ren amamiya #p5 #p5 protagonist #p5r #crow p5 #p5 joker #p5 royal #p5 akechi #my writing #egg writes #ao3 #persona #persona 5 joker

[a-casual-egg]

The final chapter of Silas and the Sheriff is done!!

#oxventure #oxventure deadlands #Silas #Silas Flint #I'm panicking abt the capitalization in the title now so that's fun (sarcasm) #egg writes

[lunarw0rks]

y'all wanna date price but you just know he'd wanna meet up at 5 am sharp 😭😭

#him and his “wakey wakey eggs and bakey” ass #i cant rn #john price #captain john price #captain price #mw2 #call of duty #task force 141 #rachel speaks #not writing

[infernal-lamb]

Draw Neves at the bar , trauma dumping to heket (she's the bartender)

HFSLKJGKDGJLJKLDS pls this is so funny to me. Neves is a mess when she's drunk. she is now Heket's burden....here she is telling a very silly story

#cult of the lamb #cult of the lamb fanart #cotl lamb #cotl heket #cotl narinder #cotl oc #cotl au #BOO! human oc #getting requests of Neves is so fun to me. i'm itching to talk about her but im so locked down on spoilers #like shes traumadumping here but not Spoiler trauma dumping #imagine being a 25 year old woman sent to Furry Cult World........like.....Neves should be at the club rn :/ #the Lamb tried to put her in the Contraption but Neves is too big for it. so they just made her write a very apologetic letter instead #Narinder is still one of Neves' biggest haters. #slapping some color on some shitty sketches >>>>>>> #ALSO putting Narinder in grandpa sweaters and cardigans >>> old ass man #my art #also cannot tell you how the egg thing makes me laugh. Like what the hell…

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

How You Turn My Word; Chapter 2

The day continues, and this time you find yourself in an entire new world... a world called The Underground.

Character; Lilia Vanrouge

Content; Gender-neutral reader, more shenanigans, reader isn't happy

Content Warning; Intoxication (Lilia), swearing

Word Count; 2.7 K

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |

Don't put my work into AI; I'll make sure you end up in the Bog of Eternal Stench.

Lilia’s night was not going according to plan and he was mentally cursing himself over it.

Thing Lilia did not plan for #1; he got lost. To be fair though, many a thing had drastically changed since the last time he romped around the mortal realm. A few hundred years would do that though. Humans now seemed to live in tall metal boxes rather than the humble cottages of ages past. 

Thing Lilia did not plan for #2; a red flower deceiving him and containing something akin to liquor. So he was flying around lost while under the influence, which only worsened his situation. (Lilia did not know it, but the red flower was in fact a hummingbird feeder with sugar water which had been left out in the sun for too long and had fermented. Make sure to change your hummingbird feeder often on hot days so you don’t cause a nectar-loving friend to fly while wasted) 

Thing Lilia did not plan for #3; getting himself stuff in one of those tall metal boxes, and he was now stuck inside some cursed metal labyrinth. At least it was not iron or silver, as it did not burn, apparently, humans no longer fortified their abodes with those metals. Perhaps the times have changed for the better?

But Lilia finally escaped the infernal metal labyrinth, perhaps luck was finally on his side tonight after all! He bumped around a few corners. My my, what a small hovel. Perhaps things have not changed all that much from the last time I was here… But Lilia was rudely pulled from his thoughts when something swatted him clean out of the air. And the culprit? A rather rotund grey cat with large blue eyes, which was now carrying Lilia into its lair, most likely to play with him for a bit before deciding that it had had it’s fun and ultimately put him out of his misery.

His night went from a jolly and somewhat embarrassing tale he would regale about at the local tavern, to a bedtime story parents would tell their children about the dangers of going places that you really shouldn’t. Should he get out of this sticky situation Lilia would not live this incident down. 

The cat placed Lilia in a collection of socks and then sauntered off, calling out at the top of its lungs. Great, it's getting company for supper, and I’m the appetizer. How lovely. But Lilia knew he would have a better chance of getting out of this situation if he stayed calm and waited for an opportunity to escape. Even while tipsy, he could keep his cool.

And the feline was back and yanked Lilia out of the sock hole. Cracking open his one eye he saw that the cat did not come back with its hungry friends, but rather, a human. That was both good news and bad news. Good news; he most likely was not going to be eaten tonight! Yippee! Bad news; the last time he was in bat-form in a human’s abode, he was chased around with a torch, which he really did not want to go through again. So his best course of action was to play dead in this situation.

When the human left the room though, he took his chance and took flight once again, trying to find a way out. The cat was trying to catch him again, but Lilia knew of its tricks this time and dodged every swipe it sent his way.

But he was pulled out of his thoughts when the human screeched at the cat, “YOU CAUGHT A FUCKING BAT?!” 

Oh yeah, they did not sound happy, not at all, but it seemed to be directed more at their feline companion rather than him.

As he was busy flapping around, trying to find an escape but to no avail, he also heard the human whispering to him. “Don’t fly towards my head, bat. I’m just trying to get you back outside. You’re a nice bat, right? Nice bat, nice bat.”

Were he not preoccupied and in a better state of mind, Lilia would have been amused by this. Currently, though he was occupied with trying not to be eaten and finding a way out of this cursed place. He was not in a laughing mood. All Lilia wanted to do was get back home, pass out in his bed but he would also be happy with his sofa as well, and pretend that this was nothing more than a bad dream after a night spent tavern hopping. Dealing with a horrid hangover would be better than this… and he was most likely going to have one of those anyways. Tonight really wasn’t Lilia’s night, not at all.

Then the human grabbed the cat, and Lilia was finally left alone. The window was open, but he didn’t know that, as his mind was too preoccupied with you know, not dying, that he hadn’t noticed that the human had opened it for him. So where did Lilia go? Well, he went back into the metal labyrinth (air duct), and fumbled around until he tired himself out. It wasn’t the most ideal of spots to crash for the night, but it was better than going back and possibly being eaten, Lilia would rather avoid that. So this was going to be his bed for the night, a lonely quiet corner of the air duct system, where he could hopefully wake up sober tomorrow. But he yearned for his warm quilts that awaited for him back at home, back in Faerie, or as some call it, the Underground.

Lilia wasn’t even supposed to be in the mortal realm in the first place, but curiosity had won him over, and he even ignored the travel advisory that was in place. Some crow fae had travelled there about a century or so ago and had yet to return back, hence a travel advisory. But yet here he was in the mortal realm, tiny, drunk, and utterly lost. His bad decisions could be looked into further detail once he got some shut-eye. So he wrapped himself in his wings and passed out in the corner of the air vent. Hopefully, when he woke up he could turn this disastrous day around.

…

Upon waking up, Lilia groaned — or rather, in this case, squeaked — and stretched his wings out. So the wretched metal maze and last night's fiasco was not some liquor-hazed dream; how lovely. Utterly delightful.

At least the strange maze echoed sound quite well, so he knew what exits to avoid. Not that one, he could hear a dog barking, and the feline encounter was enough for him. No, not that one either, he could hear children screaming.

Finally, he came to an opening, there was some quiet chatter, but it was far enough away where Lilia felt comfortable enough to explore this potential escape route. 

Why does this look familiar? AM I BACK IN THE BUILDING?! Yes, yes he was. At least there was no sign of the ca–

“Mrp?” Speak of the devil.

The cat got out of its den and lept at Lilia, who dodged the attack, and the cat pushed some books off a desk. The cat was also screaming at him, and causing an all-around ruckus. Lilia managed to outmaneuver the feline, but soon a brand new human came into the scene.

The new human took one look at Lilia and backpedalled out of the room. But the human had just created another escape route for him, and Lilia flew, well, like a bat straight out of hell for it. Too bad the next room contained two more humans, including the one he had encountered from last night… maybe they would be nice again and spare him for trespassing on their small abode?

In the midst of the chaos, the human from last night knocked him out of the air with a broom. Okay, that hurt little Beastie. But that swing and the crash landing into a table caused Lilia to shift back into his human form, which also caused sparkles to happen. Did humans still think magic was evil? Well, he was about to find out.

Everyone remained silent, and after the sheer noise of the chaos, it was deafening, even the cat was quiet. And Lilia stared at the human that had knocked him out of the air, you. And you were staring straight back at him, looking utterly baffled. Well, this is awkward… I think I have overstayed my welcome… 

Lilia snapped his fingers, and he started to disappear into sparkles yet again, this time going home since he wasn’t able to use his magic when stuck in bat form. And it was happening without a pinch, but you seemed to trip on thin air and crash landed on his feet, disappearing with him; a stowaway coming to Faerie. 

… Well this is no good now, is it?

…

…

…

 When the green sparkles subsided, you found yourself sitting in some sort of bog, and the water had made it into your mouth by some twist of fate. While you were busy spitting the bog water out of your mouth, the stranger was standing by the bank, dry, without any sulfuric-tasting water in his mouth, and looking better for wear.

Pulling yourself out of the bog water — eugh, you smelled like eggs now, great — you pointed an accusatory finger at him, water dripping from the end. “Where,” you spat out some extra bog water from your mouth, “am I? And why does it reak of eggs?!” You would have looked and sounded more imposing, but you were sopping wet, covered in mud, and spitting out coughs trying to get the bad taste out of your mouth; which wasn’t really commanding any sort of respect.

The stranger, Lilia, snorted before letting out a cough, trying to hide his amusement very poorly. He waved his hand, green sparkles surrounded you and you were now dry, still covered in mud, but dry. “Faerie, although some call it the Underground.”

You opened your mouth, but he wagged his finger at you. “And before you blame me for bringing you here, you have no one to blame for this but yourself!” Despite the cheeriness, there was something cold and off putting in his eyes, like he was calculating something. But that moment passed, and the almost annoying cheerful facade came back in full. “As for the smell? That so happens to be The Bog of Eternal Stench!”

“Like eternal eternal?” You really didn’t need to smell like rotten eggs for the rest of your days.

The stranger just chuckled, “Fret not, Beastie, I decided to return the favour, since your feline friend decided not to eat me. But it is indeed ‘eternal eternal’ if you don’t have the means to get rid of it.”

Beastie? “Uh, okay.” not the most eloquent of things to say, but really, could anyone blame you? You just fell through some kind of portal, magic(?) was real, and oh yeah, so were fae/faeries or whatever the hell they called themselves. So ‘Uh, okay’ was perfectly fine in this situation.

Mr. Sparkles — if he was going to call you Beastie, he deserved a dumb nickname — just gave you a smile, exposing the barest hint of his fangs; despite his small frame, he was still dangerous, and the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end. It was as if he was assessing you, to see if you would be worth the trouble to help. You didn’t know if either option would be good by the way his magenta eyes twinkled with mischief.

He let out a huff and started walking away, and you followed. “I wouldn’t recommend following me, Beastie,” he hummed, and you tripped over a rock, vines keeping you to the moss. “The court would not take kindly to you.” 

You glared at him and tried ripping the vines off of your feet, but they didn’t budge. “And why should I listen to you?” 

Mr. Sparkles booped you on the nose, “Well, it would ensure that you made it out of here alive, which I believe you would find beneficial and all.” 

Obnoxious prick. But he did have a point, you would rather make it back home alive rather than fucking around and finding out (aka dying). “So what? Are you going to just leave me here? No welcome brochure? Thanks.” 

You were being sarcastic, since it was either sarcasm or having a full-on existential crisis, since hey, magic wasn’t real in your world! Dimension? Galaxy? Where the fuck was this place?! How the hell did you end up here?!

“Hmm good point…” he snapped his fingers and there was now a book sitting in your lap. “This should suffice, do be warned though, Beastie, I may call on you later to return the favour. For now though,” he started to turn into green sparkles, “toodaloo!~” And he turned into a bat, flying off into the sunset, leaving you alone at the edge of the swamp with the only things to your name being the clothes on your back and a book in your lap.

How to Survive the Underground; For Humans! … Did he just give you this world’s equivalent of a For Dummies book? What the fuck? Was this kind of sick joke to him?

…

…

Once some of your ire had subsided, you decided to sit down on a boulder and read a bit of the book while there was still some sunlight out, but it was dipping into the horizon fast.

How to Survive the Underground; For Humans! By Yelworc Erid Preface …… i - iv Chapter 1; Surviving Your First Night…… 1 - 10 Chapter 2; Edible Food for Humans …… 11 - 31 Chapter 3; The Basics of Fae Etiquette …… 32 - 35 3.1; Species Specifics …… 36 - 146 3.2; Government Specifics …… 147 - 169 Chapter 4; Help! I Have Been Indentured to a Fae! …… 170 - 200 Chapter 5; Adjusting to Fae Social Life …… 201 - 224 Chapter 6; Transmittable Illnesses & Diseases …… 225 - 261 Chapter 7; Fae Courting Practices …… 262 - 264 7.1; Species Specifications …… 265 - 366 7.2; Government Specifications …… 367 - 389 7.3; Accepting a Courting Proposal …… 390 - 393 7.4; Refusing a Courting Proposal …… 394 - 401 Chapter 8; How to Handle Fae Children …… 402 - 452 Chapter 9; How to Leave the Underground … 453 Chapter 10; Adjusting to Life in the Underground …… 454 - 482 Acknowledgments …… 483 - 485

Looking back up to the horizon, you quickly turned the pages to Chapter 1; Surviving Your First Night.

“If you are unable to find yourself some suitable shelter, one should find themselves safe by camping out in a rowan tree. These trees can easily be found by their vermillion clusters of berries. They keep away all native species of the Underground,” you read out loud, turning your attention to the trees nearby, searching for those berries. “Rowan tree, rowan tree–”

A loud screech coming from the undergrowth only pushed you further. 

Nope, I do not want to find out what THAT was! Nope! NoPe! NOPE! 

Finally, you found a tall enough tree and you hauled your ass up it like there was a fire below you, and you were up in the canopy, far enough up that nothing could reach you, but also high enough where you needed to be careful, since you didn’t want to meet an early death because you made a wrong move. But for now, you were safe.

“Nice try buddy,” you muttered to yourself, trying to get comfy. Wood wasn’t the comfiest thing in the world, but you weren’t really in the position to be complaining. “I am not on the menu.”

The screech came again, this time closer; yeah, you weren’t sleeping tonight. The sun was now beyond the horizon, and there was no moon, the only light coming from the stars above; it was very pretty, but you could see jack shit. This was going to be a long night… and not a fun one, since you could also see the glowing eyes of unknown creatures which were, quite frankly, freaky as fuck. So yeah, no sleep for you.

“This fucking sucks,” you grumbled, and a chittering from the bog seemed to mock you. “This really fucking sucks.”

…

…

…

…

Tags; @busycloudy, @eynnwwyjth, @identity-theft-101, @ithseem, @krenenbaker, @lucid-stories, @ryker-writes, @twistwonderlanddevotee, @xxoomiii

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Author's Note; This chapter is shorter, but it felt natural to end the chapter like this. This chapter, and the previous one, were both rewrites of an old WIP, so from here on out I don't have to rewrite! YIPPEE!!! Rewriting takes me forever, so we shall see what I come up with next.

If you liked this, do check out my masterlist for more content!

#twst #twst x reader #twst x gn reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x gn reader #lilia vanrouge #lilia vanrouge x reader #lilia vanrouge x gn reader #still building up that aspect; yeah it's gonna be a while but that allows for some yearning #got another labyrinth mention in there #i decided to be nice to reader where they don't end up smelling like rotten eggs for their entire stay in the underground; #; it would be funny but reader has been through enough without needing to smell bad on top of that #twst labyrinth au #gilf enjoyers rejoice #why does rewriting take me so damn long? i even deleted scenes that i didn't feel like keeping #writing is pain and suffering yet it brings me immense joy... not gonna elaborate on that #not a bunch of fun stuff hidden in the tags this time but oh well