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John Watson and Trust Issues
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moodywritesmoody · 1 month
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They left the campsite a little later than planned, but Stella reckoned they would make up enough time by avoiding early morning traffic into the City.
Sally, who had managed an undisturbed night of sleep, apparently still had plenty of sleep left in her, and was snoozing in the van's passenger seat, her head held in a pillow and a blanket pinned over her shoulders. She looked like a fighter at rest; body unwilling, spirit also unwilling.
So Stella was alone with her thoughts for the drive to London. Her thoughts and the melancholy of a Katie Melua album. The grey cloud from the night before had followed her into the next day and it wouldn't let her just ignore it, so Stella leaned in.
As she watched the long highway stretch out in front of her, increasingly grey and daunting; she was left to mull over just how much she dreaded returning to the office. She would make up some reason as to why her reports would be in by the evening, instead of the morning; she’d take the lecture, and then she’d buzz off for the actual weekend.
She could still remember the days when work was all she lived for, though the memory felt more and more like a different life. If she’d wanted an ordinary life she would have become an accountant, or a manager or one of the other careers her parents had insisted on, but she had fought for this life. She’d fought to get this far into her career. In every department she moved into she was always “The youngest DI in the division,” and “The most promising young agent,” and all that fluff that felt like it never ever actually led to anything. No increased responsibilities, no increased access, no increased independence; only increased bullshit. Bullshit by the shelf-load.
More forms, more protocol, more insufferable people to answer to, more restrictions but less actual codification (since it was implied that you knew what was expected, but nobody ever verbalised those expectations) and the more gracefully one could contort and bend and smile and speak gibberish, the more one fit in. It was like being stuck in a hellish game of twister, and everything that wasn't a dot was lava.
Here was the rub, ultimately, when it came to Scotland Yard, those who fit in far outpaced those who stood-out in any meaningful way. If someone like Sherlock Holmes, for instance, had tried to join the police force, he wouldn’t have made it even a week. Sherlock did his work by being different and by thinking differently: thinking differently at the Met was a recipe for daily harassment. Sherlock literally walked around with an ex-military bodyguard attached to his slender hip so it wasn’t surprising that he barely noticed.
So Stella was torn, because if she wanted her career at the Met; saving lives, pursuing the course of justice - then she had to toe the delicate line of acceptability. Even when it felt like the other side of that line was exactly where the saving lives and the justice lay. No matter how much she tried, she couldn't make it make sense.
But it had to make sense somehow. Somehow she was missing something.
It was like she constantly had to sacrifice doing the right thing, for the opportunity to keep having the opportunity to do the right thing - knowing that if she ever simply did the right thing, she’d be a failure. And would promptly be treated as such.
Stella was aware that Sally saw her as some sort of righteous hero who spoke up about a bunch of stuff that most agents knew to shut up about; but she didn’t realise just how much Stella did simply let things slide. How much she avoided because she knew that if she looked too closely she’d have to see her own culpability. Her Guilt. Fucking guilt, there was no use pretending that that wasn't what it was.
Their first late night conversation in the van played back in her mind and she felt now that there was a lot she might have said differently. She'd protested too much.
Trying to wrap her mind around the sordidness of it all made her want to punch a wall. Or else just sleep for a week.
She instead fumbled for the flask of tea she’d made for the journey; and washed down her bitter frustration. The tea was persuasively sweet. She’d figure it out, she just had to make sure of some things.
When Sally had still worked at the Yard this had all seemed much easier. No less convoluted by any means, but also not unmanageable. Perhaps it was less that the problems felt smaller but that she felt a bit bigger than them. Detective Hopkins versus the world felt like a joke, but Hopkins and Donovan versus the world was at least a breathtaking game to watch.
As she eased onto the fast lane of another high-way, her mind shifted to Sally’s cold case. The case that had finally pushed her out of the Yard for good was also the case she’d probably fought the hardest for. It was unlike Sally to concede defeat, perhaps that was why she'd ejected herself when a win looked to be impossible.
That case that had twisted her entire life inside out. It lay, like a pandora’s box in a locked cabinet under Stella’s desk and every now and then she riffled through it.
It was nothing spectacular, or out of the ordinary, and she couldn’t see what about it made Sally abandon everything in search for answers - all of a sudden. Children went missing every day. If they were to stick to every case older than 6 years where a child had gone missing and turned up dead in the river, that’s all they would ever do. But they didn’t. Because accidents happened, and people got careless, and some things were just not the Police’s job.
But Sally knew that as well as she did, which meant there was something about the case that she was keeping to herself. Some details that made this case stand out. Somehow she was... missing something.
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Chapter 5 Snippet: For You
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jamesginortonblog · 8 months
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James Norton and the cast of A Little Life attended the Ambassador Theatre Group dinner party in honour of Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick. Kensington palace, London, 13 September 2023
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youronebraincell · 10 months
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THIS CAST?? OH MY GOD???
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jazzdailyblog · 2 months
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Tommy Flanagan: The Quiet Master of Jazz Piano
Introduction: Tommy Flanagan was a jazz pianist renowned for his refined approach, harmonic sophistication, and lyrical touch. Despite not being as well-known as some of his contemporaries, Flanagan made significant contributions to jazz, inspiring innumerable players and leaving a rich legacy of recordings. In this blog article, we will look at Tommy Flanagan’s life, career, and music, focusing…
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jazzplusplus · 6 months
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1959 - Essener Jazz Tage - Grugahalle in Essen (Deutschland / Allemagne / Germany)
Buck Clayton, Bud Powell, Ed Thigpen, Ella Fitzgerald, Gus Johnson, Herb Ellis, Kenny Clarke, Lou Levy, Lucky Thompson, Oscar Peterson, Oscar Pettiford, Ray Brown, Roy Eldridge, Stan Getz, Thelonious Monk, Martial Solal, Albert Mangelsdorff, ...
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loveindiyah · 10 months
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theirmadness · 2 months
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❝ you think i'm this breakable little thing that needs to be protected, but you forget i'm considered more of an abomination than you will ever be. you don't have to treat me like i'm made of porcelain. ❞
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simpuritysims · 2 months
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And really, it's hard to regret having so much family around when Calypso's story started off with her being an unwanted child in need of a loving home. She's found it!
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cultfaction · 3 months
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Invincible Season 2 Part 2 trailer released
Invincible Season 2 returns with new episodes March 14th on Amazon Prime Video. Based on the groundbreaking comic book by Robert Kirkman, Cory Walker, and Ryan Ottley, the story revolves around 18-year-old Mark Grayson, who’s just like every other guy his age—except his father is (or was) the most powerful superhero on the planet. Still reeling from Nolan’s betrayal in Season 1, Mark struggles to…
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How To Create a True Lifestyle Photoshoot
How To Create a True Lifestyle Photoshoot I’ve been racing to post today’s feature on TODAY specifically because it’s this delightful girls 2nd birthday!!!! Happy Birthday Ella! And I’m thrilled at how darling these photos are AND with how Ella decided we were besties by mid shoot 🙂 lol. You might recognize this family! I’ve been photographing their life adventures for years now! Ever since…
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moodywritesmoody · 1 month
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Sally silently snuck back into the van, about an hour after she’d left it. She thought she’d managed to sneak back into her blanket unnoticed, when Stella mumbled over her shoulder. “Nightmare?”
Sally gave a satisfying yelp, and punched Stella in the arm. It was worth it though, and she snickered but turned over to get a look at Sally’s face. She didn’t look more annoyed than usual; she was basically fine then. Except her face still looked haunted, and that had less to do with Stella and more to do with whatever she saw when she closed her eyes.
“My mum used to say that I got nightmares because I ate too much before bed.” She offered. They had just had a feast. Sally didn’t look too comforted though.
“Maybe you’re right.” She said without much conviction.
Stella reflected on how tired Sally seemed all the time. “Except it’s not the first time, is it? Dare I say not the second, third or fourth either?”
“Alright calm down detective.” She scoffed. “Recurring nightmares are not unheard of, and we’ve both seen some things.”
“You can say that again.”
Stella didn’t say anything else, but she didn’t feel very sleepy either. So she just lay still and listened for interesting noises outside - the universe beyond London traffic. Crickets, the creek, possibly a frog, something else she couldn’t pick out.
She thought Sally had fallen back asleep, but very quietly she spoke again.
“Stella, do you ever have dreams about cases you were on?”
“Yeah of course.” Stella couldn’t count how many times.
“Yeah but like, do you ever have the dream but, from the victim’s perspective? Like you were the victim? Or the perpetrator?”
Stella had to think more about that one. If she did have dreams like that, none stood out.
“Cause it’s been happening for a while, I think it might be my guilty conscience or something.”
“Guilty conscience?” Stella searched for Sally’s eyes in the dark, “guilty about what.”
Sally shrugged, turning to look at her. “You don’t ever feel guilty? Or have any regrets?”
“Are you talking about your last case? Cause that wasn’t your fault Sally.”
“No, not just that, I mean in general.”
In the silence, Stella tried to find the right words. Because she probably did know what Sally was talking about on some level. How could she not, they were both cops in what critics and pundits were calling one of the most corrupt police forces in the world, guilt and regret were standard fare. But it was a loaded conversation, and Stella was still at least half asleep.
“I guess I try my best to have nothing to feel guilty about. Why else do you think half the guys hate my guts.” She wasn’t exactly popular at work, except for the people she was popular with, but they were a minority. Incidentally a minority of people who she herself could stand being around.
“We’ve just got to work towards improving things, Donovan, that’s all there is for it.”
Sally scoffed, “You sound exactly like Lestrade.”
“What, you don’t buy it?”
“No!” She sat up and stared Stella down, “And I don’t think you buy it either.”
Stella tried to shush her, reaching for her mouth; Sally just batted her hand away.
“Well what are we supposed to do Sally, shut down Scotland fucking Yard? Come on, in what reality could that ever happen?”
“Yeah, good question. I feel like we’d actually get somewhere if we asked ourselves that question, but seriously - and not as a way to just shut people down.”
Stella sat up too, because Sally looked like she wanted to storm out into the cold again. “Hey, no, I’m not trying to shut you down, ok. I’m just being realistic, because I take this seriously too. Sal, look at me. I mean it.”
They didn’t want to wake everyone else up so they were sort of whisper yelling; but they had to talk kind of close to hear each other. If Stella leaned down just a few inches, she could lay her head on Sally’s shoulder. The Orange jumper she wore to sleep looked like it was made of fine desert sand.
Instead she nudged Sally with her shoulder. “Ok then, what kind of reality would have no Scotland Yard?”
“A fucking peaceful one.” Sally muttered, Stella could tell she was also trying to avoid a full blown fight. “A less paranoid one.”
“Mmm. One with less paperwork.” Stella added, getting into the mood a bit, like they were playing a game. “Probably one with better traffic honestly.”
“Yeah definitely.” Sally laughed quietly. She continued a little more seriously, “One with fewer traumatised kids, for sure.”
Stella nodded, this was definitely at least tangentially connected to Sally’s last case. But if she wanted to discuss it she’d bring it up herself.
“A London that doesn’t need Scotland Yard is a London that has figured out better ways to deal with all the shit that we handle disastrously, because we’re not equipped for it. I mean why are we handling mental health calls when half of us are bloody psychopaths?”
Stella hummed in understanding. Letting Sally get as much as she could off her chest; she’d been waiting for her to let her in on what was bothering her for a long time. But Sally held her cards close to her chest. Actually in that regard they weren’t so different. It probably also meant something that Sally still talked like she worked at Scotland yard; probably she didn’t need Ella to tell her that it was a sign of lack of closure or whatever.
“Most of the guys in the force are ten times worse than most of the people they lock up. I’m bloody worse than most of the people I’ve locked up, its no wonder I can’t fucking sleep. I don’t know how you do it.”
“What, sleep? Imported Melatonin baby.”
“No, how you manage to keep your untarnished soul. You’ve got that whole righteous anger thing going for you, don’t you?”
Something about that remark grated on Stella. At this point she regularly caught herself reacting as much to the things Sally didn’t say as to the things she did. “I dunno, sounds a bit like you’re putting me on a pedestal, Sergeant Donovan.”
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Chapter 3 Snippet
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fanaticsnail · 6 months
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I remember you mentioned having a Mihawk playlist, and the way you manage to find songs that perfectly fit the vibes of your fics and enhance the reading experience is one of the things I love about your writing
So I was wondering if you could share some of the songs on your playlist? Or even some songs that you associate with certain characters/tropes/scenarios?
I always love it when you send me asks, @sexc-snail.
I absolutely DO have a Mihawk playlist. I share the playlist construction with another creator on Tumblr who I love, cherish and adore: @sordidmusings. We add to it as we write, recommend songs as they come to us to help with words in works.
I could get into a long, long rant about music so I will add a page break here ❤. Lots of song recs to follow for the OPLA cast so far.
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I am a violinist; have been playing for 25 years this year (I AM GETTING OLD, JEEPERS CREEPERS). Music is a great, passionate love affair for me and I adore learning about songs and pieces new and old. Here are some recommendations for songs and vibes I associate with the characters and the tropes.
I never add lyrics to my fics so the readers can visualize their own favourite melodies where they see fit, but I do have tunes in mind when I write them. The only fic I've really centralised a song about is the "You Should Be Sad" Mihawk fic I wrote a while back and the Koby series I'm writing.
Here are some song recommendations: all songs are Spotify linked. Enjoy a peek into my madness.
For the Characters
Luffy:
Long Way Home: Walk off the Earth, Lindsay Stirling
Following the Sun: SUPER-Hi, NEEKA
La Isla Bonita: Madonna
Zoro
Work Song: Hozier
Promise: Voyager
Cold Shot: Stevie Ray Vaughan
Sanji
Love Story: Indila
Know You Girls: Franz Ferdinand
Family Line: Conan Grey
Nami (She gets four, because she's amazing and I love her)
Runaway: Aurora
My Mother Told Me: NATI, Cullen Vance, Jonny Stewart
Outside: Ellie Golding, Calvin Harris
Queen of the Kings: Alessandra
Usopp
Mechanical Instinct: Aviators
The Higher Ground: Red Hot Chili Peppers
Eastside: Benny Blanco, Halsey, Khalid
Buggy
Be Your Shadow: The Wombats
Gasoline: Halsey
I Wanna Be Your Slave: Maneskin
Shanks:
The One that Got Away: The Civil Wars
Atlantis: Seafret
Barton Hollow: The Civil Wars
Mihawk
Seven Nation Army: Postmodern Jukebox
My Heart With You: The Rescues
The Snake: Lana Lubany
Koby (He also gets four, because he deserves only good things, and because Morgan Davies is Aussie like me)
Grieve No More: Patty Gurdy
Siuil A Run: Ella Roberts
Mad World: Jasmine Thompson
Again: Flyleaf
Helmeppo
Fighter: Christina Aguilera
Torn: Natalie Imbruglia
Elastic Heart: Sia
Garp
Sharp Dressed Man: ZZ Top
Under a Violet Moon: Blackmores Night
Billie Jean: The Civil Wars
For the Tropes
Unrequitted Love (My all time favourite thing)
Wrecking Ball: Beth
Can't Help Falling in Love: Tommee Profitt, Brooke
I Found: Amber Run
Comptine d'un autre ete l'apres-midi: Yann Tierson
Derniere Danse: Indila
Only in my Mind: Kenya Grace
Over and Over: Three Days Grace
Broken Pieces: Apocalyptica Lacey
Too Close: Alex Clare
Stupid Heart: Sorana
Enemies to Lovers
FMLYHM: Sether
Closer: NIN
Hella Good: No Doubt
Play With Fire: Sam Tinnesz, Yacht Money
Why'd You Only Ever Call Me When You're High: Arctic Monkeys
For when they give into their feelings:
Surrender: Natalie Taylor
As the World Caves In: Sarah Cothran
Freeze You Out: Marina Kaye
Say Yes To Heaven: Lana Del Rey
For when they give up but feelings are still there
Lose you to love me: Selena Gomez
Liar: Camilla Cabello
Darkside: Alan Walker
Say My Name: David Guetta, Bebe Rexha, J Balvin
Only Love Can Hurt Like This: Paloma Faith
I See Red: Everybody Loves an Outlaw
If you made it this far, thank you. This was a labour of love. Happy listening ❤
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Spell your url with song titles and then tag as many people as there are letters
Thanks for the tag @imlivingformyselfdontmindme. and @lurkingshan I love my url but at times like these I wish it was shorter. Most of these were the firsts I could think of, some I looked through my most listened playlist.
M My Way - Frank Sinatra
Y Youth - Daughter
R Rose Colored Glasses - The Collection
O Old Friends - Jasmine Thompson
S Sunshower - Ayumu Imazu
E Estrela Do Mar - Jorge Palma
T Till Forever Falls Apart - Ashe and FINNEAS
I I'm Still Standing - Elton John
N Numbers- Han and Primary
T There Is a Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths
E Everybody Dies - Kim Petras
D DNA - BTS
G Grace - Jeff Buckley
L Letter - Jinyoung
A Alive - The Scarlet Opera
S She used to be mine - Sara Bareilles
S Summertime - Ella Fitzgerald
E Exile - Taylor Swift ft Bon Iver
S Songbird - Fleetwood Mac
Tagging but no pressure @twig-tea @troubled-mind @blmpff @mikuni14 @iguessitsjustme @colourme-feral @itsallaboutbl
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hotshoeagain · 1 year
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orphan-account fic rec
Okay, if you orphan your fic for any reason -- I understand we're not supposed to out you as the author -- even if we have a handle on the connecting thread.
So here are fics which I know were all written by the same author, who shall remain nameless (who I never knew personally so I cannot reach them with thanks for orphaning rather than deleting from AO3)
The Sea in a Chasm, part 1 of Sussex "The news of Sherlock’s impending retirement hits John like a physical blow. He looks around for something reassuring to stare at, something comforting, but the flat seems suddenly foreign and he feels that he is falling, falling."
Boundaries, part 2 of Sussex, a short sequel " 'Do try to have some sense, John.' John leans back and waits for Sherlock to figure out why that wasn’t good. Sherlock, to his credit, doesn’t take long. 'That was—not an optimal reply. What I mean is, you deserve better. Than having to take, my, um, my feelings. On faith.' "
Battle [ as far as I know, the only 221B ficlet ever written from Ella Thompson's PoV ]
Entanglement "... he puts the fairy lights away poorly after every Christmas to guarantee that he and Mrs Hudson will sit together and fix them the following winter. He enjoys the tradition of solving a puzzle while Mrs Hudson gives him her undivided attention; Mrs Hudson puts on Christmas carols to soothe her nerves while she and Sherlock work, which allows him to listen to songs with which he has sentimental associations ... "
Ash, part 1 of Fearful Symmetry "... so is John, the firelight lining his face with shadow. 'You lied, you broke my heart, you won’t even tell me your fucking names, and I’m like you.' John’s voice breaks. 'What could be on that stick, what could I possibly find there, that could hurt me more than that?' "
Evergreen, part 2 of Fearful Symmetry PAY ATTENTION TO THE CHARACTERS AND THE TAGS
Filament and Feather "Feathers ruffle, settle. 'Crows like what’s luminous.' Sherlock swallows. 'You channel it, John. The light.' "
.
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Filament and Feather is what got me interested in this artist; linked from a lovely little bit of poetry (not quite a 221b) written by aderyn; and inspired by one of @khorazir's earlier drawings in this fandom.
If anyone reading this now recognizes the writer of these stories, and knows any more stories in the orphan account which belonged to them, please share. Because, whoever they are/were, that girl can make words sing.
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myinconnelly1 · 23 days
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Unnamed Ben Solo A/b/o fic:
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