#even if the story isnt a trans story [about being trans] their pronouns still have weight and importance

[silverskye13]

Will enby Helsknight/trans Tanguish/top surgery scars/stubborn avoidant Welsknight in a gender crisis make it into the main story of RnS? Like, a full acknowledgment of it? Because yes, us on tumblr are aware (and happily bully RnS Wels for it) but I’m curious to how it may be brought up in the main storyline instead of rambles and drabbles. (Don’t get me wrong, those rambles and drabbles are what get me through the day. But my best friend, who isn’t in the MCYT fandom whatsoever, just caught up with RnS and doesn’t use tumblr, and besides spamming her with tumblr posts I wanna know how much I can revel in the glory of the skrunkles with her!)

That is a great question, actually. And the answer is I don't really know.

So this is one of the downsides to writing things chapter by chapter. If I had gone into this going "oh heck yeah they're trans", this would've come up in the plot way sooner. It's nice information 1) for all the trans folks reading and 2) because it has the potential to inform the themes in the narrative. This whole story is about two chief things I think: death [the inevitability of] and identity [what defines you and why]. Why should you care if literally no one else (including the universe) does? That would be so cool to speak about in terms of a trans allegory! Why do you care about gender when it's just one thing in a world of crazy things? Or at the very least, how does it inform your identity? But this is a change I made on a whim suddenly, and I know Exactly Where I Want This Plot To Go, so trans topics and allegories as Plot Points probably won't happen.

On the more technical side of introducing trans characters -- how do you do that without just dropping "oh btw they're trans" in? Like, how do you make it a relevant thing to talk about, that doesn't feel forced or shoehorned in, especially this late in the story? Probably me overthinking, but I read it done wrong so often. It gets tired. And if I ever work on my original stories, there are trans characters in there! If I can figure out how to Do It Well in a fanfic, then I can figure out how to do it in original fiction someday maybe. So I kinda wanna take the introduction seriously? I've actually been thinking about it so much I've thought about rewriting the intro to the next chapter ahaha [it already needs rewritten in general, there's a lot going on, but the intro was going to be Helsknight waking up from something, and he sleeps shirtless, and not addressing top surgery scars then would be kinda silly I think.]

I can say at the very least, Gender Avoidant Wels probably won't factor in the story much. He is a character, but I don't think he'll become Enough of a character to faithfully address something like a trans self discovery arc. At best his issues with gender might be mentioned in passing.

Sorry! I know you probably want a better answer! My answer is basically: I don't know I'm still working on it. I want it to be there, but the capacity it's there is undecided.

That being said, I've been sitting on this glorious ask since the shenanigans started and the temptation to just Do That grows every time I read it:

#rns asks #trans tanguish #nonbinary helsknight #anonymous #no one asked but i think to date #the best intro to a trans character ive seen #is from the book 'what moves the dead' #where the mc explained they were a soldier and when you join the army you get assigned pronouns that only soldiers get #and they explain some people join the army to fight and some join because their old pronouns dont fit #and i dont think the mc ever defined why exactly they chose to be a soldier #but hey thats their pronouns now take it or leave it #them being a soldier has impact on the plot which means #even if the story isnt a trans story [about being trans] their pronouns still have weight and importance #the long pronoun explanation has a very compelling reason and never feels odd or forced #and it gets even more interesting in the second book 'what feasts at night' #where the soldier's PTSD has a direct effect on the ending of the story #[sighs dreamily] goddamn it T Kingfisher how do you always write so good #anyway enough about my writer crush on Kingfisher

[illputdownmyrootswhenimdead]

the good ol "i dont see my child as an individual with their own mind, thoughts, opinions, and unique needs, and instead i see them as an object that i can control and make plans and set up expectations for for without problem or consideration, and if they aren't in the narrow boundaries of what i want them to be, i will act like they have died and talk about how hard this is for ME" special

#child abuse // #transphobia // #ableism // #sorry for how long these tags are i have too many thoughts in my brain. sorry #transphobic parents: im losing my daughter/son :(( its so hard :(( this is literally the same as my child being dead :(( #im watching them destroy themselves :(((( #trans kid: *literally just asked to be called different pronouns or cut their hair or something* #vs #ableist parents: my child doesnt even let me hug them :(( sure its a really unpleasant feeling for them that is very distressing but #what about ME?? :(( my child not liking physical affection is the HARDEST THING EVER im such a brave parent #autistic kid: *just doesnt like being touched because it feels bad and needs other sensory accommodations* #like legit transphobic parents and ableist parents use really similar language to talk about their kids #a lot of implications or outright statements that their children are 'gone' and that their current child is some kind of impostor #do these people think changelings are real?? did they miss the boat on that??? #and the 'im grieving my child' thing is so fucking dumb im sorry #your child isnt dead! theyre the same fucking person dumbass #your child didnt disappear when they realized they were trans or got diagnosed with autism. like. theyre still your fucking kid #these kinds of thoughts lead into shit like this story i heard about online about a father who became an alcoholic #because his son is trans and starting HRT. like this dad completely blames his addiction on his son being trans #because 'his daughter is destroying herself' and 'this stuff tears families apart' #newsflash you dumbfuck your son isnt at fault for you becoming an alcoholic instead of going to therapy to deal with any #complicated feelings or stress due to your son coming out #he did not hold you down and force alcohol down your throat you made the conscious goddamn choice to do that #because youre soooooo distraught that your beautiful daughter is gone :(( #fucking cry about it maybe? #and with ableist parents theres a lot of talk about how they dont feel like their child loves them or how THEY find it hard to love them #which. again. its not their fucking fault its yours for not getting help to fix your shit #just because your child doesnt show affection in the way you do doesnt mean they dont love you or that you shouldnt love them #if you cant love your kid because of them being autistic thats a problem that you need to see a therapist about it. jackass #do not blame your kids!! for your issues!! they can tell!!! and it fucking hurts!!!!!!

[muirneach]

well since i’ve apparently decided to be angry tonight here’s something that’s bothered me for a while. not sure i love the whole pronouns movement(?) these days. like yes they are important and though i don’t exactly hate being misgendered i can understand why other people do hate it duh. but hmmm the asking people for their pronouns… it’s a little strange in my opinion. it REALLY feels like asking what someones gender is/whats in their pants. like you wouldn’t be asking me this if i was cis presenting! you know i’m trans but you are just woke enough to know you can’t ask me what my gender is. ugh idk where i was going with this but i wouldn’t need pronouns if bitches weren’t talking about me behind my back!

#like girl you’re meeting me once and you’ll probably never think about me again #sorry the first bit makes me sound like a boomer lol sorrryyyy idk how to phrase it #this is not about me getting ‘whats ur pronouns’-ed today ive felt this for a long time but it did reawaken it #<- though the first thing i said was ‘wouldnt you like to know weatherboy’ out of instinct but i was right. wouldnt you like to know #idk ive heard stories from people pre meeical transition to being read as cis and how people stopped asking them #and also stories from like. a gnc-ish retail worker who got asked this by a random customer which is really what i was getting at in #the second half yknow. like it really feels like they just want your gender backstory #it is none of your business! quite frankly i dont care if you read me/refer to me as a woman because my gender identity doesnt hinge on #how cis people view me. they have nothing to do with me #trans #this isnt about trans people sharing their pronouns. we can do that all we like #well anyone Can share their pronouns thats fine thats chill i dont mind #its the expectation that i have to give you mine but Only because you view me as trans (derogatory) #also even if youre like ‘well im sharing mine but you dont have to share yours’ theres still a certian expectation now that you bring it up #and ofc its always either do i out myself or do i closet myself. neither one is preferable #because saying he/him WILL out me because i DO look like a girl #and yes yes i like being trans i like looking trans but i dont like my safety being compromised #anyways. im going to bed

[noctualagenaria]

OK. THANK YOU TUMBLR URL @THELUNATICGHOST FOR SPONSORING ME AND MY THOUGHTS.

[im going to use he/him pronouns for furina (and focalors by extension]

furina genshin impact. you know him, the guy who acted a part in a play that wasnt his own play for like 500 years the guy who yes, can be annoying but is honestly just a silly little guy!! thats all he is!! thats all hes ever wanted to be; himself

furina genshin impact is in canon, a she/her, i heavily disagree with this because of his design, and his overal character being made 1) from someone else and 2) "[he] was made to be the perfect human" that focalors created for himself, focalors is also trans but more genderfuckery because his gender is Divinity and also dead. anyways.

focalors design is a mirror image of furina's "archon" outfit the light one, pneuma version i believe, and in focalors top part of the dress, its quite revealing! theres a lot of chest skin showing there and the most important thing about this; flat. literally no tiddy there at all in the slightest.

now because focalors made furina based on himself, they have the exact same body, just duplicated, meaning! furina also has literally no tiddy!! nothing!! zip zilch na da!!! he has a very rectangular torso (adding evidence to my transmasc idea), even if he did have canon tits (which he does not this is proven) he is purposefully covering them up with the french ass ruffles hes got going on up there, /purposefully/ covering.

the most exposed furinas design is, is his legs, he has rather short shorts (akin to hu tao who Also has no titty but there is room to see a curve there because hu tao doesnt have. the chest ruffles) ((this could lead to how hu taos design is also quite tmasc coded but sadly enough im not a hu tao insaner)) so i could Maybe sort of if i squint real hard i can see why people would want to exaggerate the legs a little

But when people ( the horny + uninformed.. usually..) give him the most hourglass shape figure?? or even Big Boobs im like??????? first off did yall play the archon quest and second ????????? of all genshin characters you think furina deserves boobs??? Flawed logic he is not who you think he is, like even ignoring my headcanons In Canon he is very much jus living his best life being a theater director !!!!!!! hes not an actor anymore !!!!!! furina genshin impact is the wrong character to put your horny beams on !!!!

and for the people in the back

Furina Genshin Impact Is The Wrong Character to Put Your Horny Beam On

does any of this make much sense? probably not,, do i care not rlly i jus hate how the fandom treats him so so so so much its why i cant really consume fancontent of him anymore that isnt made by a trusted mutual of mine, we are saving him from fanons grabby dirty hands and putting him in our own grabby dirty hands :3

what makes it worse is neuvifuri. there are people who believe that neuvifuri are either 1) father/daughter (this is the same crowd who think zhongxiao are also father/son) 2) siblings or 3) a cishet married couple with furina as the UwU Wifey and neuvi as the gigachad husband.

These are All Wrong

pushing most of my headcanons aside, literally in canon neuvi is the one constantly down bad for furi, Constantly!!!! he had a moment of realisation in the archon quest, realising he appreciates furina a lot more than he first thought he did (see furina story quest AND neuvi birthday letter)

and also in canon furina is Terrified of losing him, so he distanced himself (see his about neuvillette line)

now headcanon territory kinda ; neuvi watched focalors fucking Die in front of him, whilst givhim the original dragon power back, that shit was still traumatising as all hell , i think neuvi is just as equally afraid of losing furi as furi is of losing him

,, if i keep going i wont stop about how much i adore their specific dynamic but ANYWAYS. back to the point;

Fanon is Wrong

(have an old doodle as thanks for reading,,,)

thank you for reading all this, it sounded more composed in my head i swear i jus uwauwuuawu biting fandom so hard

#making this its own post rather than adding on to the og.. #ehe.. #nya.txt #thank you lunaaaaaaaa

[youofsomesong]

Friends Describing Starkid Characters (part 4)

(There will be spoiler pictures from Nerdy Prudes Must Die, so look at your own risk. They show up after Curt)

james

typical nerd

he has a letterman (i mean its in the photo)

this looks like the harry potter one (yup)

this information does not help me at all though (yes it does!!!)

gregory (front) and william (back) (noooooo)

they are in a relationship (oh 100%)

the gun in the underwear is for later tonight theyre spicing things up

(i have the better picture of peter, dont worry. but i wanna see if theyll realize its the same character)

montgomery

nerd but he knows your name, address, social security number, and credit card information and it not afraid to use it

megan

tired barista (SAME)

good at names and faces (not same) (same bestie)

knows martial arts

quincy francis iv

a cowboy with absolutely NO cowboy skills

saw a horse once and went “cow!!”

oh theyre also gay gay homosexual

nobody knows about their relationship though (well...)

elizabeth (left) and grace (right)

theyre into cosplay

businessman businessman businessman

slightly below average at his job but covers for it by being likeable and social (jfhkjasdhf thats not true)

his name is ronald

marco

theatre kid

rebecca

a proud trans woman who will take no shit

OH MY GOD WAIT

THATS UMBRIDGE ISNT IT (...maybe)

jafar (whats with my friends and thinking achmed is jafar???)

tried to sneak in an aladdin picture with the starkid. im onto you (youre not though cause thats achmed, not jafar)

bridget

likes reading

not very popular but a nice person

patricia

she has a pufferfish on her head

shes a strange one

still kind of popular though??

jasmine and jafar (this one im 87% certain) (youre half right bestie)

they pulled a switcheroo

that other one was aladdin and i was wrong (you were wrong but youre still wrong)

rachel

big fan of the little red riding hood story. made it her entire personality (jksdhfjdksh bestie)

thats a classic jack right there

total asshole (a bit, yeah)

sells drugs to minors (but he doesnt. he loves hannah like his own kid)

that previous guys brother but this ones a good person and keeps getting pulled into his brothers crap

his name is riley

definitely has pronouns

not straight (oh he 100% is not straight)

generally well liked but has one specific enemy (more like we love him but we hate him)

looks like a noah to me

self proclaimed “party animal” (everyone hates him except like one person whos pretty neutral about him) (lies. we all love him)

name is... liam (derogatory)

andrew garfield in disguise (askjfdhakjs)

thats all

“tall dark and handsome” (has platforms in his shoes)

daniel

NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE PHOTOS!!!! CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK

thats a whole zombie fr fr

name was revoked

but his name WOULD have been zachary

watched “the last of us” and liked it way too much

became his favorite character

straight man (derogatory) (kajfhasdhf i dont believe max is straight AT ALL)

the woman is bi (grace is repressed bi, what did i tell yall?)

her name is haley his name is michael

he needs to put his shirt back on (no he does not. he is hot)

goshdarn jessica

Mean Girl ™️ (i mean...mariah was regina george...she was in mean girls...)

manny

generalized anxiety disorder (if he wasnt first labeled as obnoxious teen i would say yes. but he did have that whole waiting for hot chocolate line(s). oh and xe did not connect that the petes were the same character. i did not tell them that either and idk if i will tell him)

MARKIPLIER?

thats it

dyed hair and pronouns

quinn

at this point in time i did tell them that nibbly and blinky were not female even though both are played by women (and the fact that i hc nibbly as agender)

thats a rowan

absolutely slays

also has pronouns

liked wreck it ralph

naruto fanboy

his name is blake but he asked people to call him by the name of his favorite character

(nobody does)

this one is a big fan of sonic

has a sonic themed backpack and lunchbox

morgan

jeremiah

i see an anime shirt hes an anime stan (well thats obvious)

has at least two twitter accounts dedicated to anime (honestly wouldnt be surprised)

#starkid #team starkid #starkid black friday #black friday #a very potter sequel #A Very Potter Series #the guy who didnt like musicals #the trail to oregon #Firebringer #twisted #twisted the untold story of a royal vizier #spies are forever #nerdy prudes must die #nerdy prudes must die spoilers #npmd #npmd spoilers #tin can bros

[euphoricfilter]

“cis asian man”

so by arguing that jungkook can’t be genderfluid or enby, last anon has basically stepped into muddy waters of implying that nonbinary is only a gender that people born female can identify as —or really only exist as

they’ve assigned a binary to where none should apply

like we do know that people can be nonbinary and present masc? right?

now im a black enby and i’ve faced the masculinization of black women which is essentially on the opposite spectrum of the emasculation of asian men.

there is something to be said about the emasculation of asian men but when it actually applies.

we can talk about asian men who are feminized and we can talk about how there are some asian amab enbies who are secure in their masculinity and feel disrespected when people emasculate them.

but that’s not what anon is proposing cuz they want jungkook to be cis in this story.

seeing the nonbinary identity as asian emasculation tells me that anon sees it as feminization instead of neutrality. you’ve essentially let yt supremacy get a hold of you, boo boo🤦🏽‍♀️

i won’t lie and say there isn’t a problem within the nonbinary community where many afab enbies fall into the trap of reaffirming the binary by subconsciously —or even maliciously— making say/doing things that only “women/afab” people can relate to only to label it as nonbinary discourse.

i’ve heard people born male/socialized male feel out of place in enby spaces because the tendency of thinking “afab = nonbinary”. this isnt true and should be shut down immediately.

anon is sounding like a radfem/terf who only accepts female/feminine enby in women’s spaces because amab enbies are still “men”

not all of us look like manic pixie dream girls who like frogs. cuz i promise you when you ask the average conservative or even liberal what a nonbinary person looks like its this very specific stereotype of “short haired white ‘woman’ who likes quirky things and dresses in cuffed mom jeans and a graphic tee with pride pins”

its not to say that these people are any less valid in the nonbinary identity than me but it doesn’t reflect the diversity of our identity gender or race wise.

plus its the fact that anon is okay with reader being nonbinary which i assume means that they think they’ll be reading as someone with a vagina.

and even if they recognize that the “holes” may bot be specified. they will probably delve into their own subconscious bias of imagining nonbinary reader with vagina cuz they already think “afab = nonbinary”

but their lil fantasy falls apart when they “have” to reader about nonbinary jungkook cuz they’ve condition themselves to see him as feminine and there for having a vagina.

(which i dont want this to be too long so i wont get into trans people who decide to transition to present towards a binary and still identify as enby. there are men/transmasc people with vaginas who still identify as enby. but also there are intersex people who have presented as women all their lives and have testicles and identify as nonbinary)

so all imma say is anon is puttin’ on their activism like a lil cosplay. its performative asf.

cuz going off jungkook’s recent photoshoots, he’s presents rather androgynous but still leans into his masculinity.

so fictional jungkook can look like calvin klein jungkook and have any pronouns

jungkook can have he/him, he/they, she/her, she/they and they/them or even neopronouns and still be a masc/androgynous enby

- pronouns doesnt specify gender

- gender doesnt specify presentation

- genitals doesnt specify either pronouns or presentation

example: im a nonbinary person who goes by she/they pronouns but i present very masc most of the time and i have a vagina. i’m secure in both my femininity/masculinity, but i don’t wanna be hypersexualized like society views black women and i also hate being hypermasculinized like how society views black men as brutish and predatory. but at the same time you’re not gonna strip me of the healthy relationship ive cultivated with both binaries. i’ve found my own way to express the binary that reaffirms my blackness and isnt determined by yt supremacist standards.

also very weird to assume our lovely author is black. wtf do we have to do with this? keep black people out your mouth cuz its obvi you’re tryna stir division amongst the black and asian community. go on somewhere.

this anon didnt have the range for this convo and i cant say i covered everything because race/gender is nuanced. its quite literally a infinite which is why intersectionality is important.

ooh im tired😭 this was long

there’s like minimal logic behind their argument, and are maybe talking about a topic they’re not exactly well versed in??

of course i can only say so much, from my own experiences and perspectives but i’m not ignorant, and that feels kinda like what they were trying to get at, that i’m a bad person and i’m dehumanising people and im racist 😭 like ??? idk where that narrative even came from?? it’s just sad to me that someone can invalidate a community of people based of a work of fiction and their weird bigoted views of enby people??

see that’s what i was trying to explain last night, being non binary is such a wide spectrum of things for different people when looking at their gender, or lack thereof. because every nonbinary person isn’t a set gender or way of expressing your gender, or how you feel about gender or you as a person and the way you present yourself. hence why i’d never exclusively label a reader non binary. gender neutral sure, because that then gives the reader freedom within themselves to actually see them within the character without me putting a stereotypical label on a nonbinary individual whose existence is gonna be so very different than the next enby individual.

i’m always very conscious about how i write my readers. because although i don’t necessarily see myself as the reader while i’m writing, there’s always going to be a little bit of myself projected onto the reader and i wouldn’t want to force how i view myself as a person onto everyone else who reads my stuff. hence why i’d never mention skin color or race or (in some cases) gender identity. for me, while writing smut especially, that’s where i find it hard to write a character who might be nonbinary, simply for the fact i don’t want to write an experience that i guess i wouldn’t fully understand the emotions of, hence why i would label the reader afab just so i’m not invalidating anyone’s experiences, i’d hate to do that

i’m really grateful that you took the time out of your day to write this, so that there’s another perspective put on the table, and i think it’s an important conversation to have especially if i’ve got weird people lurking on my blog when i’ve tried to make it very clear this is a safe space for all lgbtq+ friends, because really i love you all a lot and want this to be a nice community for us all. and thank you for articulating a little better what i was trying to get at!! idk why i find it hard to just put into words exactly what i’m thinking LMAO

we could talk forever about the masculinisation of black women and feminisation of asian men, it’s such a big topic to cover. and if the anon has actually idk had taken the time to explain exactly how i was disrespectful or racist without just flinging big words about thinking it was gonna make me second guess myself, then yeah i wouldn’t be so offended. but it’s like if you’re gonna come in my inbox with all these big claims then at least come knowing what you’re talking about?? i was gonna be generous and say they had a surface level understanding of the topic but i honestly think they don’t 🧍‍♀️ and again, i think this is a really important topic to bring up and talk about

there’s a reason i chose he/they pronouns for jungkook. i could have chosen they/them. and i had considered it, but if we’re talking about real life jungkook then especially with recent photos, although he’s very very androgynous, there’s still a comfortability within his masculinity, hence why i chose those pronouns for him for his gender fluid identity

fictional jungkook was very much inspired by the recent photos!! very much cutie fun calvin klein jungkook whose gender is so delicious i get mild envy but in a sorta good way!!

thank you for sharing your own experience too!!

OH YEAH idk why they assumed i was black?? it felt like a leeway for them to be racist and i’m not tolerating that on my page on top of them being stupid and accusing me of stuff i haven’t done 😭 i really don’t talk about myself all that much so i have no idea where that notion came from, i hope you guys just see me as like a lil floating star or something cute, just a little entity that writes for you guys as gifts because i like spoiling you 🏃‍♀️

that’s what i’m saying!! like at least come with some understanding of what you’re accusing me of before you start saying words you clearly don’t understand because you just sound stupid LMAO

again, thank you so so so much for even taking the time out of your day to explain all of this!! you’re literally the sweetest and i love you a lot, and thank you for being comfortable enough to share your own story too and helping me articulate what my lil pea brain has trouble saying without wanting to absolutely cuss that person out 🫂 you deserve a lil smooch after all that, and a fun little snack too so go get one!! MWAH 💞

[dusktarot]

having transgender feelings..... and others....

its great being around trans ppl all the time and it being just normal in spaces i'm in, but going back out into the world and being reminded that i'm just a cis woman to anyone looking at me... i look like i fit fine into that comfortable little Gender Box and nobody would ever question that.

my dysphoria asks for smth kind of impossible, a balancing act, even something a little inhuman, but even if i took what steps i can (as in hrt. basically) i would be both unsafe and still not perceived as i am because i cant just. beam shit into ppls brains

and i just say "well, i can live with it." and "oh, maybe i just feel this way because of one of my special interest things, that's no basis for this kind of decision" but what the fuck else do i have for a self? what other kind of things could i do to have that control, to break out of that uncomfortable box? what the fuck can i do? i've been telling myself "i can live with it" with regard to my mental health for over a decade now. is it true? i'm tempted to say no, but what do i know? i've been proving it. it sucks ass, but i'm living with it.

i don't have a nice, neat story of discovery-- i sort of always knew, i sort of only found out when i found out about trans people. child me would probably have agreed that i was a girl, but mostly because this is just one of those things i had to learn.

i feel like my story is pedestrian, like my experiences aren't meant to carry weight with others. i'm just another nonbinary person and i'm not brave for being visible. i'm just another one of those people with pronouns rejecting my agab. i shouldn't be scared! i shouldnt be depressed so much because isnt my dysphoria just another one of those whims? it isnt something that's been crushing me since i was young, it isnt something i need to fix immediately.

i dont know. none of my feelings are strong enough. i've been depressed for so long, and i'm not dead yet. obviously, since i can stave it off, it's really not so severe. i can get out of bed most days, so it's not so bad. i can laugh and enjoy myself. it's only once in a while i feel terrible.

i started talking about transness, now i'm on mental health, but i suppose its all intertwined.

and, of course, i get all my happiness from fictional characters and not even my own, so i'm just one of those tumblr losers that obsesses over characters, and i dont like the cool deep stories. so none of that's a beautiful message that anyone wants to listen to. i'm not an artist, i just draw.

this got away from me. i'm sorry. i just need the possibility of someone understanding.

#babble #vent #like if you read. #i would appreciate if you did #but it's heavy stuff.

[kakyoinryoko]

idk what u think of this so let me know i treasure ur opinions on things because youre normal. the only normal blogger about anything ever. so like for me foo fighters isnt genderless like if anything foo fighters is genderful. does that make any fucking sense. i hope so. allow me to elaborate. foo fighters even before possessing etro had a gender. they had a name picked out "F.F." and insisted on being called this too. just bc foo fighters uses they/them doesnt mean theyre genderless. [1/2]

foo fighters uses multiple pronouns (first he then briefly she then they). i see this as if anything foo fighters having gender/s. so when people say they were genderless im like. eh i guess so? but i think that applies to the individual plankton, not them as a colony. as a colony theyre now having and experiencing gender/s. so thats my foo fighters is nonbinary but not abinary thoughts... theyre trans bc they werent assigned a gender at creation & then formed gender/s later (/hj) [2/2]

i think i understand what you’re saying ? i have no idea how the english dub translates it if that’s what you’re talking about, and i’ve never read the manga in original japanese, but knowing how japanese works re: the use of pronouns i can almost guarantee any instances of pronoun switching in the manga/on the wiki are just fan translation stuff… like “he” being used for her original stand form as sort of a neutral pronoun for an entity that doesn’t look particularly feminine, “she” for etro body, and “they” in reference to the fact that technically foo is made up of multiple living organisms (rather than being used as a neutral singular pronoun). i haven’t read the manga in a couple of years at this point so i genuinely do not remember how she is referred to there so this might be off base idk. that said i still don’t really think foo is nonbinary at all and would personally just use she pronouns for her since she takes on the form of a woman, lives as a woman from that point on, and then even after losing her human body still continues to be a woman on purpose. i think if foo is to be considered trans at all in the human sense (which i do think she should be regardless of how you personally interpret her transness, the entire point of her arc is that she does have a human soul) i would say that calling her transfem is what most closely resonates with my interpretation of her story. this is obviously not entirely “canon” though and i am not saying this is the only true way to look at her, you can do whatever you want

[web-novel-polls]

Trans WN Character Tournament

Submissions End: TBD

Rules: 

The character must be from a web novel or an adaptation of a WN (common adaptations like manhwa/manhua may be accepted, just within reason)

They don't have to be canonically transgender. The reasoning can be anything from them explicitly wanting to be a different gender/sex or just vibes 

Just stay away from offensive gender stereotypes in propaganda, especially Western gender stereotypes on Asian characters (Ex: Nie Huaisang being more interested in art and fans than fighting might be a more "feminine trait" to Western readers, but Chinese fans have explained that it actually fits with the male scholars of the time period). 

You can still submit any character, but remember to be respectful & conscientious

Tournament Tag: #trans wn character tournament

[Last Updated: April 27th, 2024]

Jang Hayoung from Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint

Gender Identity: Transfem / MTF

Canon Pronouns: she/her (she gets misgendered for a big part of the novel in the unofficial english translation, but when we're in her pov it's she/her)

Wiki Link

Ling Fengxiao from The #1 Pretty Boy of the Immortal Path

Gender Identity: transfem & nonbinary

Submission:

(tw: transphobia)  i am not claiming that this a good novel by any means & this is kind of nonsense but hear me out: main romance lead of this novel spends like 90% of the time happily presenting as a woman, and this is a vague spoiler but at one point mc and his wife are both "pretending" to be women (ngl i could also submit mc here. much gender to be had but it really has to be unintentional bc of later transphobic plot points) and come across a plant that only blooms valuable flowers when attended to by two beautiful women (ok. whatever) and they're both like "well IM pretending to be a woman but lin shu/ling fengxiao ISNT so she'll carry me across this finish line" and it does bloom! like, it does! the author is like "ohhhh its sickly and this is forcedddd" <- but it does bloom. and the flower spirit that comes of it is fairly explicitly a trans woman, even if she's an object of ridicule. my grasping at scraps theory here is that all of the "you're actually a boy. accept it" said to the spirit is a projection of internalized transphobia. there are three women here but only one of them is willing to say so. if the author was willing to write where the previous characterization led we would have a different story. 

Ruan Nanzhu (阮南烛) from Kaleidoscope of Death

Gender Identity: transfem & nonbinary

Canon Pronouns: he/him outside of the doors, she/her in drag

Submission: 

This might be considered spoiler-y, but I can't think of another way to bring up important details here. It's part of the premise of the novel if that helps: there are other worlds that the protagonists have to survive for [REDACTED] reasons, and in these worlds there's a certain amount of identity obfuscation—basically, you'll look a little different from your real appearance no matter what you do, but the way that you dress will also affect the appearance that you end up with. Ruan Nanzhu takes every opportunity to dress in feminine ways when they go to these worlds. Yes, there is a secret identity reason behind it, but there's also this clear difference in how Ruan Nanzhu acts as a "man" and a "woman" that it just reads like a form of gender euphoria to me. The novel itself isn't always kind about it (could be that it just depends on the translation you're reading! I couldn't tell you what connotations the original Chinese wording has) but I think it's fairly undeniable that it's a freeing experience for her. So it's not exaaactly canon, but Lin Qiushi (林秋石) uses the right pronouns out loud and in his thoughts as it is signalled to him at the time, so that's nice.

Carrd Link

Shen Qingqiu from The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Gender Identity: transmasc / FTM

Canon Pronouns: he/him

Submission:

he invented xianxia panty liners also he was literally obsessed with a stallion novel that was supposed to be like. be a power fantasy about a cool strong man. I'm not saying he liked pidw I'm just saying he did make the choice to read a stallion novel and was obsessed with Luo Binghe. Sometimes gay thoughts can also be gender envy. SVSSS also looks a lot at like. masculinity and its performance and perception in a way that really slaps if you, like me, think Shen Qingqiu is the Worstest trans guy ever of all time. I'd like to be clear that he is not good representation. He is literally the most dogshit rep. He's homophobic and gay hes transphobic and trans hes the most insufferable trans person youve ever met. He's probably definitely a transmed. Instead of medical transition, sqq got that transmigration transition, and he is absolutely has a weird ass superiority complex about it. also he's a TRANSmigrator its literally right there in the name. Do u see my vision.

Rejected

Nimona from Nimona

Reason: Not from a web novel

#not a poll #submissions #trans wn character tournament #my submissions

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

cw for disgusting amounts of transphobia, being forced into the closet, shitty parenting, self-hatred, internalized transphobia

hi! im looking for resources, validation, and some advice, maybe. when i was like 12 or 13 i came out to my parents as a trans man and long story short that night was so traumatic, humiliating, and transphobic that i have literally never been the same since. my parents were so disgustingly transphobic that night that, even though i still experience immense gender dysphoria, im unable to live my life as trans because of how bad that night traumatized me. i'm 15 now, for reference. ive honestly stopped thinking about that night for a while and it was getting easy to ignore my gender dysphoria until i watched spiderman across the spiderverse, and (i know how silly this sounds), saw gwen stacy's scene with her father in the beginning. basically it brought back all those memories and i almost started sobbing in the theater because it was literally what *i* went through. ever since then those feelings have been coming back and ive been trying to find other people with experiences with mine, people who were forced back into their agab because of transphobia/forced detrans. ive only found fetish content surrounding that topic. it hurts because i feel like im the only trans person who cant be trans anymore. like, im literally unable to be because trying to do so only makes me feel worse even though i know this is who i truly am. i cant even use they/them pronouns without feeling immense shame and disgust with myself. i've tried to tell my friends but they just don't understand and tell me to transition anyway, even though that would endanger myself.

tl;dr: is there anything i can do about this? therapy isnt an option for me and if my parents found out i tried to transition again i know that theyd only be worse this time. are there any other people out there like me? how can i be myself again? thanks!

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. It sounds like your experience with coming out was understandably traumatic for you, and the new Spiderman movie reminded you of this painful memory. It also sounds like your friends have unfortunately not been understanding of your situation, and although they may wish for you to live authentically, they don't seem to understand why that's not really an option for you right now.

It's really hard if not impossible to be yourself in an environment where it's unsafe to do so. But I can tell you that you're definitely not alone. I was part of the GSA in college and they had an assembly once where a panel of queer students answered questions about their experiences and identities. I remember one of the panelists was a blind trans woman named Serena, and at one point she explained how she was essentially forced to go back in the closet, and eventually had to come out again. The president of the GSA held her hand as she cried, urging anyone who was trans not to go back in the closet. Obviously there's not always an option not to go back in the closet, but her main point was to convey how deeply painful and anguishing it is, and that it's something nobody should have to go through. So please know that while every experience is unique, you're not alone in going through this.

I hope that one day you can feel comfortable and safe enough to be you.

If anyone else is in a similar situation, feel free to chime in. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw transphobia

[nothorses]

heyo! hope it's fine if i come asking for some advice on something?

im planning on getting my name changed around late spring early summer of this year. but thats not what im worried about. see i have this sister and she has...not taken my trans identity super well. its been about a year or sometime around that since she found out via my tumblr. and ever since then shes been not...the greatest about handling it. she still deadnames me. supposedly she uses the right pronouns for me but only behind my back? and again - supposedly does it.

but to make a long story short, she hasnt really shown me or anyone else any signs in changing this behavior anytime soon. itll be 'bout a year since she finally asked for my pronouns by the time i get my name changed (about late may or early june but nothings certain yet) and shes told me that she doesnt think she'll be able to use my pronouns or name for another few years. but im getting my name changed this year? plus ive been told i can correct her but not too much or else she might start avoiding me which...isnt good for personal reasons.

tl;dr my sister has essentially said that she wont use my proper name or pronouns for a "few years" but im getting my name changed this year. any advice on how to handle the continuous deadnaming despite my legal name no longer being that? anecdotal or otherwise? its something thats been pecking at my brain for a while now. thanks in advance if/when you do answer this (no pressure though :])!

Oh hey, congrats on the name change!! I just had mine legally changed last week, it's such a good feeling- I'm so excited for you!

(though I will say, if I can offer one piece of logistical advice: start booking DMV appointments and stuff to get everything changed over as soon as you know your court date; most things won't acknowledge your name change until you have your updated ID/license to show them.)

As far as managing family stuff goes- it sounds like your sister is trying to avoid trying, and like. That sucks, and unfortunately there also isn't much you can do to force someone to make that kind of effort, either. You sort of have to decide how much it matters to you, how much you can tolerate it, and what sort of effort you're willing to make on your end to either put up with her, get some distance, or try to push her on it.

I think the best advice I can give is to think about what's important to you here. What are your priorities? Why? What do you need from her, and what do you want from her? What can you tolerate? What's worth the effort, and what's not? What hurts more? What can you do to lessen it? - That kind of thing.

If you decide to talk to her about it, I'd maybe try framing it as a care and effort thing: it's not about getting it right, it's about trying to get it right. Maybe a timeline isn't important- what you need to know, and more importantly to see, is that she cares enough to make an honest effort. Maybe seeing that's enough for the mistakes not to hurt so much.

I've found that even with the people who really aren't trying, that tends to motivate them a lot more- but a lot of people in my life are very guilt-driven, so maybe that's got something to do with it. lmao.

Either way, I really wish you the best!! I'm sorry she's being so difficult about this, and I hope things turn around for you soon. 💙

#advice

[megashadowdragon]

whats the point of yamato

comments on youtube

Here's my take: the Wano Arc is about the "burden of inherited will." By this I mean something like, the burden of upholding the promises and dreams of those who came before. We've seen inherited will as an unambiguously good thing in the series so far, but the Wano Arc is trying to complicate the narrative, by showing what a burden it can be to take on the dreams of those who came before. And this theme isn't just in one storyline, it's laced throughout the Wano Arc, in the motivations of so many characters: * We have Momo struggling with the burden of living up to his father's legacy as a leader, and the burden of the throne of Wano. He's anguished over this, he weeps, because it's a burden to live up to someone as great as his father. * In Oden's flashback, we seem him struggle with the burden of his own father's dreams (that he become the Shogun, settle down, etc), only for him to eventually return and take on the burden of the country (literally, he puts his followers on his back!). * We have the Scabbards struggling with the burden of achieving Oden's dream of opening Wano's borders. They spend twenty years waiting and suffering, or travel across the sea and suffer, all for the sake of their leader's dream. We see Ashura-doji grow bitter under this burden, we see Denjiro mentally break, we see Kine'mon refuse to have a joyful reunion with his wife, all because they suffer under the burden of an inherited dream. * Orochi felt compelled to uphold the will of his ancestors and depose the Kozukis and throw the country into ruin. There's a reason we see his ancestors basically manipulate him into pursuing his path. They pass on their dream to him. * So obviously we have Luffy also taking on the dream of Oden, to defeat Kaido and Orochi, etc. But it's not a coincidence that in this arc we have two characters to whom Ace made promises: Tama and Yamato. They've become part of Luffy's burden, because he inherited Ace's will. (That's one way Yamato fits in) * But we also have Yamato struggling under the burden of a will she does not want to inherit, her father's. He wants her to be imprisoned, literally chained to a will that is not her own. That's quite the burden, I'd say. But there's another will she would prefer to inherit, obviously: Oden's. I think in the conclusion of this arc, we'll see characters (Luffy, probably) say something about inherited will being something chosen, it has to be a burden you choose to bear, not one forced on you. Yamato will probably feature in this conclusion in a few ways: (1) as a character foil to Momonosuke. It's not a coincidence that they're the exact same age and each want to take on the will that was forced on the other. Momo was swept across the world and travelled with Luffy in order to fulfill his role as Oden's son, but he wants to be Shogun. He takes on Kaido's appearance (via his Devil Fruit). Yamato was chained to Onigashima, and wanted nothing more to escape and travel the world with Luffy, but Kaido wants her to become the Shogun. She takes on Oden's appearance. The arc will conclude with something about Yamato and Momo freely entrusting each other with the dreams of their fathers, or something. (2) as a feature in Luffy choosing to uphold Ace's will. By taking her with him and reaffirming a promise with Tama, we'll see Luffy choose to take on Ace's will. In this way, we'll see that what makes a will truly inherited isn't a bond of blood or destiny, it's a bond of friendship, trust, et cetera. Yamato's storyline will be used to punctuate that theme for Luffy and Momo, the actual central characters of this arc.

I feel like Yamato’s storyline is learning about inherited will and not having to actually be someone (Oden) to carry on their will/dreams.

Hannya, which Yamato’s mask is based on, are well known in Japanese theatrical stage culture for representing characters who are the physical manifestation of twisted female souls.

Yamato seems to be inspired by Oscar François de Jarjayes, from the shōjo manga The Rose of Versailles, who is a woman raised by her father as if she were a boy in order to succeed him as the commander of the Royal Guard at the Palace of Versailles. 

an authors comment for chapter 945 oda talked about how he read rose of versailles and was surprised oscar was a woman 

The Shogun must be a male of Seiwa Genji lineage according to Japanese history so this explains why she is referred to as son.  Oda based Yamato on 2 people.  1) Yamato Takeru a crossdressing Japanese prince and 2) Oscar from Rose of Versailles.  Yamato Takeru being the son of Emperor Keiko who crossdressed to kill his enemies.  Oscar being a girl raised as a boy to succeed the throne.  Oda is mixing Japanese folklore with Rose of Versailles to tell a story of Kaido trying to force his daughter to be the Shogun/a boy.  Do you think I rip this from nowhere?  Chapter 945 if I recall correctly on VIZ Oda is on the authors comments speaking on Rose of Versailles.  Yamato wears a Hannya mask which originates from Noh theater and represents female obsession (Oden obsession) and I bet this arc has a theme of deliverance.  Not just deliverance from physical chains but familial bonds as well.  The people who refer to her as “he” miss the underlying themes the Shogun must be male and Kaido is probably upset he has no actual son.  Yamato does not want to be the Shogun and referring to the last chapter Kaido is trying to tell her what her fate is.  The Vivre Cards will not say (Male Heart) like in close reference to Kiku’s card and she will not come out and say “I am a man at heart!”  She uses the pronoun boku which is ambiguous and abnormal which is in reference to the “Oden” funny delusional act she has going on.  Coming chapters will reveal this more and more.  Since the combination of the title card saying daughter -> the Hannya mask -> explosive cuffs and the Shogun theme it was clear she was being bruteforced into something.

Not trying to speak for everyone here, but to say people use "he" because they don't pick up on themes is simply not the case. People use "he/him" pronouns because so far in the story, that is how Yamato has made clear that he would like to be referred to and so people use he/him pronouns out of respect for those desires. I'm not trying to say at all that I disagree with the themes/connections you've mentioned, but to say that you've "cracked the code" and you know better than Yamato on how they should be gendered is disrespectful to them. It may well be the case that everything you said is true and that by the end of the arc Yamato will wish to be referred to with she/her pronouns, but like I said to just assume this before it actually happens is disrespectful. Imagine refusing to use he/him pronouns for a trans-man because you know that their father always wanted a son and assuming their desire to use these pronouns only exists to validate their fathers wishes. I'm not trying to draw a one to one equivalence with this example, I get that One Piece is a story where information does just exist but is introduced with a specific purpose, I just hope I can better explain why many people believe he/him are the correct pronouns to use for Yamato at this time. Frankly, I think the presence of Kiku as a trans-women in this arc might be odas way of setting up the exact scenario you mentioned with yamato while still making sure he doesn't come across as invalidating trans identities. Hopefully that makes sense. Again I'm not trying to be argumentative, only trying explain why many people believe it is more respectful to use he/him pronouns at this time for yamato DESPITE the themes you've mentioned.

Quick fact check: Oscar wasn't raised as a boy to succeed the throne, she was a raised as a boy to become commander of the royal guards

This might not be accurate as I'm just saying off the top of my head but in a way, Yamato might represent wano itself. She was chained up and abused by Kaido like he does to wano in a sense.

Yamato is literally old name of Japan, lol

  Yamato by taking Oden legacy she is impersonating the man who's the main representation of wano to the world 

On a larger scale we are fighting to save wano from kaido

On a individual scale Yamato who disguises as Oden who represents wano is fighting to save herself from kaido 

It's like NAMI all over again 

A girl who is representing an entire population and territory is fighting to save herself and the people and territory she represents from a fish that keeps her and her territory enslaved

Her not being part of the mainland is symbolic to Wano exactly lol, isolated from the other world and chained there by Kaido for decades. She, like the people of Wano, has this black and white perception of Oden that they blindly follow without looking into why he did what he did. Even now people are putting Momo on some pedestal worth dying for without understanding who he is, similar to their past expectations of Oden for his dad. Yamato is doing the same with her declaration of dying for him based solely on his dad and the stuff in the journal.

Yamato's development seems to fall in parallel to Momo. Momo had to deal with the expectations of being Oden's son and his people want him to be just like Oden they don't see Momonosuke Kozuki. 

On the other hand Yamato similarly was thrust with a path set by Kaido her father but wants to be Oden this person who inspired Yamato to the point of worship that every action is posed with the question "what would Oden do."

The climax of both their arcs might be to just choose to be who they are and act as they would do not as their predecessors as they both could never be Oden for instance.

I sort of dislike how some people act like Yamato realizing not to “be oden” and Yamato joining the strawhats are mutually exclusive

if yamato does join the strawhats and is the 11th that would confirm the idea that yamato isnt trans  she just cosplays as oden due to idolizing him if you believe the MFMM theory due to people noticing that in east blue  the recruitment went zoro, nami, usopp, and sanji  in grand line it was chopper, robin, franky and brook a male female male male .

jinbe is the 10th who joined in new world  ( the male ) and it fits for him to be followed by the 11th a woman . ( so if yamato joins the strawhats and is the 11th ( meaning carrot doesnt join)  yamato isnt trans 

if yamato and carrot both join then yamato really is a transman

both okiku and yamato wore hannya masks

after okiku put on a hannya mask she revealed that she was a man in body but a woman in heart and a hannya mask represents female demon 

yamato was introduced as kaidos son while in a hannya mask but after she took it off revealed she was his daughter

"Yamato" (大和やまと?), meaning "Great Harmony", is an ancient name for Japan (originating from the Yamato Province) and can can also refer to the Yamato period of Japanese history, which lasted into the 8th century. Relating to that, Yamato is the dynastic name of the ruling Imperial House of Japan and further refers to the dominant ethnic group of Japan, the Yamato people. Otherwise:

Yamato Takeru is a legendary Japanese prince of the Yamato dynasty, prominent in mythology.

Yamato is the name of a prominent WWII-era Japanese battleship.

Yamato nadeshiko is a phrase that refers to the idealized image of a Japanese female.

#one piece #op yamato #one piece yamato #one piece meta #op meta

[lez-exclude-men]

I mean this in the most respectful way possible, but have you actually been close friends with any trans people?

Yes, one of my close friends identifies as non-binary, and two people I knew in hs (one was a best friend, the other was just a friend) transitioned, but then detransitioned to different degrees in college (the former best friend and I still keep in touch, but they went through an abusive relationship and were talked into cutting me off and then we reconnected but they're still healing and figuring themselves out etc-- long story).

I will say I for the most part feel like respecting pronouns is important. I dont for people who are clearly predators or when a crime is committed that is male violence and needs to be recognized as such for contextual reasons, etc.

I also support safe medical care for dysphoric folks; current close friend that identifies as non-binary for a few years had really bad chest dysphoria and I helped them research binding and got them the safest proper binder I could. I did, however, heavily encouraged them to find a good therapist, and that helped them a lot. Generally my stance on dysphoria is that therapy should be the first treatment option, and the therapist should figure out if the individual can work through it, or learn to manage it, or if it is a strong/stubborn type and requires medication (HRT) as well. I think dysphoric folks deserve informed consent-- to know all the potential short term and long term risks and effects of HRT (which neither of my hs friends got). HRT shouldnt be the first thing doctors/therapists jump to, it shouldnt be taken lightly, and it shouldn't be encouraged without making sure the person is both informed and able to consent (ik this isnt the majority of cases, but 13 year olds shouldn't be prescribed life altering drugs, no matter whether or not they agree in the moment). I also think we should recognize sex and gender are different. A dysphoric person can change their appearance and body to be closer to the opposite sex, but you can't actually change your sex.

I take issue with people claiming to be trans or nonbinary or something with no dysphoria. I dont think nonbinary is actually a thing, I think it's just various forms of being GNC smooshed together, and I take issue with the idea of it. But when one is gnc qnd has dysphoria and wishes to be called they/them to alleviate some of that, that's fine, it just doesn't make you some "other" category. And I do have an intense hatred of men (males), and hate when they use their dysphoria or made up gender as an excuse/explanation for violence against women.

--my thoughts are much more detailed and nuanced than that, but I'm going to continue to my actual point instead of going down that rabbit trail.

This blog is just a snapshot of part of me. And I've done a lot of growing and changing here, so some of my older, angrier posts may not apply as much anymore. And idk if I still have this in my bio or not (I did for a while), but not everything I reblog I agree with. Sometimes it's just food for thought, sometimes there's some underlying reason and I'm frustrated/angry and this is my way to vent.

My beliefs and politics, though not entirely, closely align with those of @radicallyaligned , if you want to go read some of her posts. She's much more eloquent on the topics of gender and politics and women's anger than I am and I am frequently in awe of how she manages to word things.

The bottom line is: dysphoria is real, gender roles should not be so strict that being gnc is really even a thing, female people need to be protected from males and should have their rights ensured, and there is a lot of complex history and medical stuff involved in all of this.

And really, my feminism is one of the most important things to me, which means I am an activist for female people, for which I use the term women as a category, even though this includes trans men and other ways of seeing oneself. It does not include, not now or ever, people born male.

I hope that answers your question, and all the other ones that were wrapped up in it. And thank you for clarifying you were trying to be respectful about this and not come off as condescending. I hope you have a good evening, and feel free to drop by my ask box another time if you want 💙

#lezpost #radfem #anonymous #answered #ask #anon #im out of sorts tonight #so i hope this isnt totally incoherent lmao #but hey answering asks is and excellent distraction from everything else #the only thing keeping me together rn is blasting queen music and being on tumblr or reading lmao

[queer-as-frikc]

My coming out story is weird, it gets a lil transphobic so tw near the end tw long post too

So, pretty much throughout my time growing up through elementary school and half of middle school, i grew up in a white middle class area. I didnt know about the LGBTQ+ or anything other than what I saw, which was white people and an occasional poc. Eventually I had to move and I ended up in a super diverse area, and ended up becoming best friends with this person (they are ftm now so imma use the right pronouns but they were f when this story mostly takes place) he told me all about things I didnt know, specifically the LGBTQ+ community and that he was pan, and it was new information so just like any 13 year old learning new things, I questioned myself, I questioned if I could like the same sex or not or possibly more.

Sadly, drama happened between my best friend, his girlfriend and I, so thing got a little weird. But there was a time in winter, when he was off that relationship for more than a month and he said he'd like to date me, and I really thought about it before hand and said yeah, I couldnt tell you how happy I was to have this experience.

I told my mom that night, in a round about way cuz I was nervous, "Hey mom, what if I liked girls?" She told me she doesnt think that I do, because I always expressed feelings for guys, and when I tell her I didnt really understand what being gay was when I was younger, I didn't really know it was a possibility. She snapped at me and said, "Unless you are willing to kiss a girl and do the other stuff, you arent gay at all."

Eventually I have a sit down conversation with her, about how confusing this all was and how I wish I knew how I felt, and so on. She said she had a similar questioning phase but it never stuck so she doesnt think I am.

Like a month later I figure it out and dude that was so gratifying. I came out as bi to my mom, who just dismissed the whole thing, but I was terrified to tell my uncle (it's a long story about that, no it's not "sweet home Alabama") because he always said bi's were wh*res so yeah. I ended up telling him, and he goes, "You know my opinion on it but that doesnt mean that I'll disown you or anything." Btw the relationship (dating wise) with my best friend after he came out as ftm because he went back to his ex, it's all cool tho.

So that was that, or so I thought. It was my first year of high school, and I finally really understood the definition of pan, what was holding me back though was the trans experience, I thought because I didnt know what it was like, I couldnt be pan, even though I didnt have a preference, turns out it just means you like people no matter their gender and it like, clicked finally so yeah. I've told my family about that since but I a similar reaction: my mom said she doesnt think I am and she lectured me on my generation having so many labels and how she hated it. My uncle said he appreciated that I was pan more than me being bi which confused me but he just had a better view of pansexual than bisexual. (I explained to both of them what the difference was but idk man)

I believe it was my second year of high school when I really started to question my gender, and that was mostly because I saw a video of what gender dysphoria looks like if it's not that strong and you arent aware for ftm. So like wearing bagging clothes all the time, always wearing sports bras, and practically no other bra, feeling really good if someone accidentally calls you sir, etc. And I was like, oml it's me. But it wasnt, I didnt find that out until later tho. So, with my friend group, I find a name that seems to fit me well and ask them to address me by it and he/him pronouns, as like a test of sorts. (All of my friends are gay in some way so it was cool) In the end tho, I got a little iffy about the whole thing and wouldnt ever correct them at times or it was just off for me. I felt really bad because I thought that they might have thought that I was just trying to force myself to be more like them, but I wasnt, i still felt bad though and kinda dropped it.

I'm not sure 100% how I figured it out tho, but I remember talking to my best friend (not the same one from middle school, they were my best friend as well but they arent the same person) about the whole experience and I believe they brought up the idea of genderfulid, and I was like :0.... what that. They explain it, you go aall over the gender spectrum, some days you might feel like a boy, others you might feel like you have no gender, some days you might feel like your gender is something completely weird and different, that's just what it is. And I was like, "It fits but like, I barely feel femme at any point in time, maybe like once a year." And they tell me, that's ok and stuff as long as my gender just decides to be a completely weird and went all over the place, it counted, so I was like, "I finally figured it out!!!" And i was so happy.

Then came the time I was comfortable enough to tell my parents. I had been using the label genderfuild for over half a year already and I thought that it was what I was so it was ok to tell them. I saw how ok me being gay went, so I was nervous but not as nervous as I should have been, probably. I told my mom first, she went on a similar rant of her no liking my generations labels and such, but it went fine, I explained it, I thought I was through, I thought I was fine, apparently not. One day I'm in the shower and I hear my mom being very expressive with what ever shes talking about to my uncle, which is fine, she needs someone to vent to sometimes. When I get out though, and I can here her clearly, I hear sees complaining about what I told her recently, that I'm genderfulid, but instead of saying that, she only says I want to be a boy. (Oh no) So shes complaining to him, asking why I cant be more like her and just be a masculine girl and be fine, why do I have to fit in with the crowd of my generation to feel special, why cant I just be fine with who I am now? Etc.

The sad thing is, that night, I was going out shopping for pants and underwear with my uncle because I needed some and I wore men's pants already at that point, because they are more durable, and stuff so I knew it was gonna be a long ride. My mom was snippy with me that whole night, just the entire time which sucked.

When we finally left to go get clothes though, I didnt know it could get worse. My uncle lectured me about how that's just my generations fad, and how his was making tattoos and piercings ok in the work place and mine is being trans a gay and all that crap, and that I'm just trying to fit in, I'm not being myself, no matter how much I chop myself up and cut my hair and take hormones my chromosomes will never change and so I can never be an actual guy. He also said that I would bring just more attention to myself being a woman who does guy things rather than try and be one, and he thinks I'm doing this all for attention. I was mad but silent at this point, I didnt want to cause anything to happen. He ended up asking me, "So did you pick a different name?" I was surprised but I said yeah, and my friends were using it and it seemed to fit better. He asked me what it was and fear over took my body. I told him, "I'll only tell you if you dont use it against me if your mad." He says, "i cant promise that." And then gets mad because I wont tell him. Though I do, because I feel obligated since hes buying me clothes. To be even more confusing, he buys me guys underwear, and undershirts along with the predetermined pants he promised me and now I'm so confused.

But it gets even worse. When we get home, my mom freaks out on him because be bought me all that mens stuff and she said he was encouraging my behavior and stuff, he defended with it's just clothes, and yah it is. Eventually things settle down, obviously my mom isnt talking to be, but that's for the best at this point. I'm in the living room with my uncle and he just then starts harassing me with questions like, how do you know? he asks. "Well, I just feel that way, same as you." I say. But why do you wanna be a guy? he asks. "I dont wanna be a guy, it's just weird that way. Also it's not me being a guy, it me being many more than that," I say. He says that's bullsh*t. I offer to show him videos that better explain what trans is and how it's an actual sciencey thing and stuff but he said he wont take a video because he wants me to say it. And then he just goes off, saying the name I picked out shows how self centered I am because I am selfish, he kept asking me if i liked to fight, to catch and play with bugs, to be strong, to be angry all the time, and all these stereotypes for men and I just left, and went to bed. He wasnt going to listen to me, so there wasnt a point to me staying.

But, it gets worse. The morning comes and I'm awoken by the slam of my door by my uncle and the laughter of my mom. My uncle starts being really aggressive and starts cleaning my room, I only have clothes on the floor mostly so that's all it was, but he starts saying, well if you're gonna be a man, imma start training you like one, the man of the house picks up after everyone, the man of the house does everything he can to help the house run smoothly, the man of the house has to be strong, and all that stuff. (Which I thought was funny because he was "the man of the house" yet I did everything, and still do. I clean up most after him, funny huh.) And, I know what's happening and so I stay in bed, I don't want this to happen. But I literally get ripped out of my bed by my uncle and get told to stop being a little b*tch and a brat because I'm being selfish by my mom and I'm yelled at to sit in the living room and wait while my uncle cleans my room. When hes done hes starts lecturing me and being all aggressive and in my face. He keeps asking me a million questions with the tone that he didnt care so I knew he wouldn't listen. Eventually, him and my mom leave, I'm told to stay there until I get back. When they do get back, they act like everything is fine, nothing happened between them and I and it's just been so hard for me to talk to them about that since.

I'm greatful that I dont have to deal with that anymore but every time something that that is brought up with my family, I panic so much now. I'm fine and I'm safe but it was very traumatic for me. And uh, thanks for listening.

hey, thank you so much for sharing your story. this was just. so heartbreaking. noone deserves to have a person like your uncle in their life. im so sorry you had to go through all of that. i hope you’re in a much better place now <3 (also i loveeddd reading about how you figured it out) =)

again, tysm <3

#transphobia #transphobia tw #biphobia tw #abuse tw

[honexjams]

just was watching an ftm tiktok compilation that featured kalvin garrah and it got me heated, i have a LOT to say about him and his influence but i will condense it to this:

all trans people have an era of discovery and experimentation, for some that includes experimenting with pronouns online to see what theyre comfortable with. the rise in people IDing with they/them or they/she or they/he is infinitely more to do with more trans kids feeling comfortable to experiment than it is with unconcerned cis people wanting clout. (i know some cis people do ID as lgbt for attention, i grew up in a very depressed/depressing and drug-laden small town where its not unheard of for people, especially young people, to go to strange lengths for relief, comfort, and entertainment. this small amount does not tend to go through the worst of the treatment i had as a young, binary trans person in this parish, which alone will garuntee those folks didnt ID this way 'for funzies' very long)

writing off all of these young people as simply wanting attention is harmful to both nonbinary people directly and binary trans people who are young and trying to figure out what theyre comfortable with.

i can say for myself personally, that i am very sensitive so if the trans online sphere was as critical in 2012 as it is today, it probably wouldve thrown a wrench in my personal process of understanding my feelings and realizing the transphobic responses i got from coming out were just that and not the absolute truth. which wouldve in turn left me IDing as non-binary or nothing at all online for a longer time because i wouldve been more concerned with my fear of seeming like i wanted attention online than actually trying to nut up and come out at school or do anything i needed to do irl for my comfort.

i first listed my pronouns on a writing site thats mostly barren last i checked, and what i put was "he/him/they/them" because i was at a place where i was caught between what i felt was true about myself, and having just come out to my mother as an 11-year-old and her not believing me.

demonizing non binary pronouns and identities will 100% effect this generation of trans kids because for those with no support, they will turn to the internet. when both their real life and the online spaces they go to are highly critical and unaccepting of nonbinary identities, any kid less than 100% sure theyre a binary trans person will suffer at the very least an extended period of confusion and denial, and at worst never fully come to grips with who they are.

ive always felt really strongly about this but i feel as i hit the 10 year mark of knowing i was trans (and still being pretty young at 20yo) its a good time to express these feelings a little more formally than i tend to. especially because i fit into the like, Ideal Trans Experience of knowing i was a boy at a young age (i mentioned finding trans people at 11 but i have Very early memories of telling other kids on the playground that 'i was born a boy who looked like a girl so my parents raised me as a girl' which is dummy accurate to a trans experience often shown in media yk).

(this next paragraph is all personal anecdotes which are important to my point but if you dont care feel free to skip over it)

I do very much believe and accept nonbinary people as truth because i can understand how someone can feel like something that isnt understandable to the society they grew up in because that was my experience as an lgbt person in the deep south. I remember hearing my mom at a local parade (a Very Community-Focused thing where i grew up), see two teen girls holding hands walking down the street and saying "theyre a little young for that, huh?" to a friend, I remember asking her what 'gay' meant as a kid bc ofc i heard it at school and just wanted padding for if i ever said it out loud because as i knew it, wasnt a curse word but it was Bad Word (bc i knew from hearing it around school that it was a Bad Word)i wanted to know what it meant, she said "some boys date boys, its not really a Good lifestyle, but sometimes they do it". Ive heard many transmedicalists say 'how can you have dysphoria for nothing?' as in how can someone be agender. I am a binary trans man in a committed relationship with another man and I am frankly bewildered as to how a binary trans person can believe such a thing as 'the only genders that exist are ones i know about, even after discovering my own queerness' because I can perfectly understand the correlation between binary and nonbinary trans people. For me, growing up as a teenager in the south in the 2010s, gays were vaguely accepted but still ostrisized, and in school i had a classmate who i knew is a binary trans man because i still know him now, and I, my insecure, weak, self concious self emailed my teachers about my pronouns and name while he was still being called his birthname in class and my cousin, who sat in front of me next to him (thats how small a fown this is) was the only person who called him his chosen name, which was how i figured he was like me.

I personally dont want bottom surgery even tho i Fully identify as a binary male, I simply came to the understanding that a 'cis penis' is not something I will ever have so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ may aswell get used to the things i can tolerate, unlike my chest and 'feminine' features that T has changed.

Long story short if You are a binary trans person who doesn't get what the whole nonbinary thing is all about, simply try describing your own trans experience as if you were really not a boy or girl. As if you really, through your deepest soul-searching, came up with the fact that you simply dont identify with neither male nor female.

Back to the original point of binary trans people in a self descovery phase, if You are a binary trans person? try to remember the first time you felt really invalidated in a way that truly struck you as like, a direct attack on how you feel (like how those depressing 'relatable posts' do), did you ever feel like if that was something you experienced in a crucial part of your discovery period that it wouldve hurt a lot? maybe even to the point where it surpressed how you felt about yourself? All i want from the trans community is to not let anyone else feel that way. I truly do fear for young trans people and how this exclusive environment stunts them.

#talkin.555 #trans #ftm #if anybody has anything to say about anything i brought up lmk id be happy to address it fr #and also fyi i am a binary trans man #i Found trans people and was like woah wtf thats a thing 👀👀👀 when i was 11 in 2012 for context of what im tallembout when i say the trans #spaces online have gotten more critical since ive been involved #this prolly #isnt thst comprehensible because i started trxting my dad for the first time in a year partway thru #im #bout to jusy #b scrolling degular now because that was a lot but i just want the brst for #other trans kids #whomped tags

[sam-winchesters-lost-shoe]

Let me get one thing straight, and if you disagree with these I would like you to unfollow me. Here are some things I would like to clarify:

-Black Lives Matter. All. The. Time. I don’t want any arguments because it’s not up for debate. WHITE SUPREMACY NEEDS TO FUCK OFF AND DIE.

-I don’t care about your political orientation unless the person you’re voting for is a terrible human being who hates everyone that’s not a straight white man. (To sum it up, I don’t care if you’re republican or Democrat, but Trump supporters specifically need to fuck off)

-the education system in America is Shit and needs to be changed. Stop saying ‘it’s always been that way’, that argument is also trash.

-Wear. A. Motherfucking. MASK!!!! Social distance, too!!!! This isn’t a joke or propaganda people are dying for no reason because of everyone’s stupidity!!!!

-LGBTQ+ is valid and deserves as much love as everyone else. I know what it’s like because I’m in there too, but we also need to get better at excepting EACH OTHER. Gay, Bi, Asexual, Genderdluid: you’re all wonderful and we need to support each other more then ever.

-Rich people need to be taxed more. Sure they’re paying the government more, but when you have 30 million dollars in your bank account it doesn’t even matter to you.

-Speaking Of money, minimum wage is hard to live off of, so if someone complains about being underpaid, THEYRE NOT LAZY OR BAD AT HANDLING MONEY, THEIR JOB JUST ISNT PAYING ENOUGH.

-Birth control and abortion are a human right and should be covered by healthcare. (Don’t even give me the argument that late trimester babies get aborted because that hardly ever happens and when it does it’s because the woman would be endangering her own life to give birth)

-Women are still not equal to men. We’re getting closer, but we’re not there yet. Feminism is needed, and most women aren’t as extreme as the stories you hear about. Feminism means women should be equal to men, not more important or anything like that.

-Mental health is not something to brush off. To all my friends with anxiety, depression, adhd, autism, ptsd or anything along similar: YOU ARE VALID. I know what it’s like and I love you and your situation doesn’t change the fact that you’re a wonderful human being who deserves love.

-Stop fatshaming. Just stop. Most of the overweight people you see are more healthy than those in magazines because the celebrities and everyone in the media usually take drugs or starve themselves. Being fat does not mean you’re unhealthy, but shaming them does make you rude.

-stop using religion as an excuse to hate people. I’m Christian, and the argument that ‘gay people are sinners’ falls apart because EVERYONE is a sinner and you’re directly going against God’s rule of ‘love thy neighbor as thyself’ anyways, so you’re no better.

-speaking of religion, every religion and branch of every religion is also valid! I’m sorry that some of you don’t feel welcomed or allowed to express yourself in public because you should be. Your hijabs and traditions or any other part of your religion are beautiful and you shouldn’t have to hide them.

-Trans women are Women! Trans men are Men! Accept their pronouns or new names and give them love!

-Also, there are more than 2 genders. Accept that and get over it. Stop calling people “snowflakes” and shaming them for not wanting to associate with gender roles that are unnecessary anyways.

-And finally, if you’re old enough to vote, VOTE BLUE! Like I said in the beginning, I don’t care if you’re republican or Democrat, but I DO have a problem with trump! He’s making racism, sexism, transphobia and all sorts of other problems even worse and he’s not doing anything positive in return! He isn’t improving the economy, he isn’t saving lives from coronavirus (he’s actually making things worse) and he won’t even dispute the fact that WHITE SUPREMACY SHOULDNT BE A THING. If you’re a republican, he’s a terrible human being who’s setting us back hundreds of years and we need to get him out of office before he makes things worse. Biden has some issues, but for fucks sake he’s better than trump. Everyone please vote blue this year and afterwards you can go back to your parties but we need to get trump out of office NOW.

Alright......I think I’m done now. Message me if you wanna talk about anything I said and debate it’s validity because I’ve done it my whole life and most of the arguments against these are stupid. Just love everyone no matter their gender, orientation or sexuality....but Fuck Trump and his followers.

#donald trump #trumpneedstogo #trump vs biden #trans pride #nonbinary pride #wlw pride #feel free to discuss #mini rant #repost #notupfordebate #trump is the enemy of the people #impeach trump #covid19 #covid2020 #joe biden