#even then it was dumb fucking luck

[zytes]

7.15.23

#I was sooooo patient trying to capture this #even then it was dumb fucking luck #this one defo gets its own post #addition fun facts abt this night: #I left my driver's side car window down the ENTIRE storm and did not notice. nothing damaged but I have a stinky seat :( #however a stinky seat is the small humbling moment at the end of a phenomenal experience enjoying the storm from my small cave-like patio #so I sat outside enjoying the rain. me n my bong. and also a mogwai album. eyes closed. just sounds and my own deep breathing - peaceful #lighting would streak the sky and I could see the bolts through my closed eyelids - they were bright and crisp; defined. even if obscured #everything just snapped into place. the lightning and the music had moments of perceived synchronization - probably pareidolia #waves of euphoria radiating out from the base of my skull. full goosebumps. momentous feeling - I must've been manic #when I opened up my eyes the world had gone from being heavy and dark to just. red. so red. like a wildfire on the entire western horizon. #my driveway doesn't come with a glamorous view either. it was just that the entire western hemisphere was flame-red fading into eigengrau #i have those photos too lmao - will be sharing soon #my art #aesthetic #art #artwork #webcore #glitchcore #internetcore #photography #original photography #nature photography #lightning #storm #rain aesthetic #stormy aesthetic #dark aesthetic #surreal aesthetic #surrealcore

[atopvisenyashill]

If Jaehaerys was all about minimizing the power of Targaryen daughters but marrying them off to less-than-ideal suitors (love that idea), how do you think that applies to the match of Rhaenys and Corlys? Does it, even? Or does it need to, given expected Rhaenys's station at the time? He says she couldn't have picked a better man.

And, also, do you think this can be applied to Daemon's match with Rhea?

LETS DIG INNNN okay this got so longgggg but i was trying to be fair while also discussing like, so much sex crime-

So like the post said re: Alyssa & Baelon’s marriage, I think there's some interference from Alysanne here. Especially early on in their marriage, before she's made it clear that she can in fact live without his ass, I think we have several cases where he's ~indulging~ Alysanne's more romantic ideas about what ruling should look like and what being a targaryen should be about. Giving her wins that ultimately don’t cost him much (before she starts asking for things he doesn’t approve of).

I think by the time Rhaenys marries Corlys, Jaehaerys has already written her off as a potential heir, but if he denies her marriage to Corlys, that risks not only pissing off Corlys - who imo already has A Whole Thing about being Just As Valyrian As The Targaryens, so he will take offense - but also tips Alysanne off to the fact that he has no intention of letting the crown pass to Rhaenys or her sons. He knows this is a sore spot for her because she insisted that little Daenerys be considered crown princess and heir over Aemon, and Jaehaerys already brushed her off about that. So if he tries to marry Rhaenys off to like, a Tully who already has three heirs or some random Darry, Alysanne is going to argue that Rhaenys deserves a much loftier match given her status, and get really paranoid about why Rhaenys is getting a shitty match. I think he's trying to put off naming Baelon as his/Aemon’s heir for as long as possible because he knows it's going to be a fight, especially given that Alysanne is usually the one in charge of marriages, and this has precedent (that marriages are the Queen's domain - Visenya and Rhaenys made marriage matches as well).

But also. I think (and I can't believe I'm gonna do my man Ned dirty like this) that like Ned (bleh), Jaehaerys learns the "wrong lesson" from his sister. Rhaena married extremely beneath her and that caused major problems for her, so Jaehaerys is making sure that Rhaenys doesn't marry far beneath her as well. Because see, Rhaena spends much of her life miserable, without a direction in life, without even a castle to her name that she can hide out in. Everything that is hers is actually Jaehaerys' and it eats away at her until the day she dies. Beyond that, keeping Rhaena on as a guest is expensive because people want to see her, because she comes with her own household, and because she has a whole ass dragon that needs to be fed. So even if she wanted to live off the goodwill of others, that goodwill runs out quick due to logistics. She only gets Harrenhal because Maegor Towers is sickly and the last of his line, and even then, it's not really hers - it belongs to the crown.

I think Jaehaerys looked at how unhappy she was and what a huge pain in the ass it was, and figures he needs to give Rhaenys a consolation prize in a way he doesn’t need to give to the younger daughters, bc they never had a chance to inherit. Rhaenys has assumed the crown will pass if not to her then to her son, as has Alysanne, and I think its likely Aemon and Jocelyn also assumed that the crown would pass to Rhaenys' eventual son. Jaehaerys can’t just deny her all the trappings of being crown princess/mother to a king and expect her to take it lying down. And to be clear, I do think there’s some emotional aspect to this - I think he did feel guilty over stealing Rhaena’s crown and throne even if he felt he was doing it ~for the good of the realm bc Aegon had died. When Rhaena makes her “you are rhaenys i am visenya i have always known this” comment, she nails the dynamic, but I think Rhaena being the ~rejected bride~ does hurt Jaehaerys - she deserved, in his eyes, to grow old with their brother and have the power of a queen consort. BUT. At the same time, he’s a raging violent misogynist who believes Alysanne is the only exception to her gender, that it is simply right and natural that a woman only derives power from her husband. It’s why Baelon gets to claim Balerion when he’s young, but Alyssa is barred until her wedding. A dragon is a responsibility, a realm is a burden, and in his eyes Alyssa Velaryon, Rhaena, and Visenya all failed to live up to the challenge. So yes, he wants something good for Rhaenys - he wants her to have a happier life than Rhaena did, and he’s willing to gamble just like he did with the Baelon/Alyssa marriage, and indulge Rhaenys and Alysanne in giving her a dragon and a husband who could back her claim because she needs something to keep her calm when he inevitably usurps her, in contrast to the way Rhaena had absolutely nothing to distract her from her misery. And his gamble pays off is the thing - he neutralizes her dragon and her husband bc Corlys is off fighting still when the announcement is made, and Rhaenys is heavily pregnant and probably not really riding Meleys. He figured - bc of his love for Alyssa, Alysanne, and Rhaenys, however goddamn deranged and ultimately meaningless that love is - that he could move the pieces enough to get the outcome he thought was best and he was right!

For Daemon's part, I do think this is part of why Alysanne ships him off to the Vale yes. Notable to me that every marriage match does have a seat of their own, even if it's not an important one, unlike second son Androw Farman - Daella would have gotten the Eyrie, Viserra would have gotten White Harbor, and while none of Saera's matches were lofty they were all heirs with nice enough seats. But Daemon would run into a similar problem where it would be too expensive to keep him around if he marries some random noble lady living with her dad, but if he marries too high up that’s just as bad, so giving him an heiress and then kicking him the fuck out is a good way to deal with him.

BUT. I actually do have a conspiracy theory here that something happened at KL that caused a huge stir within the family and Alysanne dealt with it by shipping Daemon off. What happened? Well...obviously I think Viserys and Daemon got caught fucking lmao, I call myself a Visaemon truther for a reason. I do also think there's a chance that Alysanne suspected Daemon was fucking around with Gael as well - they're only a year apart, they grew up in King’s Landing together, Gael & Alysanne have been back at court a few years, Targaryens love to do that stuff, etc. I’m not saying he IS the father, the timeline is close enough that they could have fucked around but not close enough to have gotten her pregnant - he marries Rhea in 97 and Gael disappears from court in 99. But my other conspiracy about Jaehaerys being the father does kinda fit this too - that Alysanne noticed something was up but suspected the wrong man. I don't think Alysanne would ever want to even entertain the thought that Jaehaerys was raping one of her daughters, even if she realized what he had done to Alysanne herself was rape. Much easier to blame it on/suspect eternal Problem Child Daemon, especially if he's also being groomed by fucking Viserys; he's already an oversexed lecher who seduced gentle, married Viserys away from sweet Aemma, what else isn't he capable of? (and the double tap there of like, hypersexualization of bisexuality + Alysanne’s complete refusal to deal with how unhappy she is with Jaehaerys equals, to me, her constantly punishing her children and grandchildren because she can’t punish Jaehaerys, and proving this point to herself that she couldn’t have been manipulated into marrying him because look, her daughters are marrying the same way as well. And if she suspects even subconsciously that Jaehaerys is raping Gael? And punishes Daemon for ~seducing~ her poor sweet innocent Gael and stealing away Viserys from his sweet innocent wife Aemma? yeah that tracks with how she treats Saera and Viserra).

um tldr i think jaehaerys simply gambled that he could still control the situation when it came to defanging rhaenys, but also knew he couldn’t just give her nothing, if not for sentiment sake, then at least for logistics sake and to avoid a small rebellion, so when rhaenys & alysanne float the match, he can’t say no to it, so he just controls it. and i do think alysanne sent daemon off to the vale in part to defang him as well, yes, in addition to my not insane i’m right conspiracies about exactly what was cookin in king’s landing circa 97-99 ac (it was a lot of sex crimes, that’s what was cookin).

#anti jaehaerys i targaryen #i gotta stop myself here before i go down a rabbit hole akskdkdjjd #anyways once again i fucking hate jaehaerys i think he is the worst targ king and i’m including maegor and aerys ii i don’t give a fuck #just bc he wasn’t as flashy abiut abusing his family & had oodles of dumb luck doesn’t make him a good king #he sucks and he’s not even fun on top of it. once again at least aegon iv aerys ii and maegor have pizzaz. #ummmm #anti alysanne targaryen #idk jic. do i tag gael. do i tag rhaenys. #asks #backjustforberena

[lateseptemberdawn]

No but like. Men could be the lowest of the low, not be knowing the most basic shit, inept at wit or anything else pertaining to the brain or mind or conscious, and yet the audacity be there. Like. How.

#legit listening to my brother tall of how many qualities he has which mainly just includes having a nice face and using his voice #like this is the dude who is in his last year of high school and absolutely refuses to look at a book for more than half an hour a day #you can imagine the amount of basic knowledgeable he would have with that time period dedicated to studies (not even dedicated hes forcedto) #he knows nothing of the most basic thing needed in class #knows nothing of even the language subjects #and yet thinks just because he can talk he can land a job #theres delusional and then theres this piece of shit #like this family is on the verge of struggling financially and this dude decides to use the lakhs of the rupees worth of tution to eat out #with friends and learn NOTHING #like #im legit so. like i wish he would succeed in life by the sheer power of luck and wishes bc god knows hes a degenerate #yet we care enough to not have him roam around like how it looks like he might bc lets be real if not that he'll end up being a worse pain #but seriously tho how does one be SO behind the very fundamental of human experience and still think their gaming skills and music taste #can save them in this world? #this dude is more or less addicted to his phone and literally like im not exaggerating hes so dumb you have one conversation with him and it #becomes glaringly obvious bc hes so delusional about it that he talks with full confidence but you realise hes not really talking hes just #spitting bs that hes heard on youtube 😭 #not to drag him or anything but im seriously so sympathetic. how much of an idiot do you have to be? #to think HIGH SCHOOL education is worthless? hIGH SCHOOL. Tgats like. the very bottom of it. #worst part is he refuses to acknowledge he should get better 🗿 #so theres no point in helping bc its one steo forward ten steps back with him #and also feels shitty as fuck to be guiding a fucking 18 yo thru SCHOOL #its fucking SCHOOL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

[nyhti]

Awww, that’s so cute <33 Bruce teaching him martial arts.

Action Comics #318

#clark kent #i wonder if bruce taught him judo specifically for when clark would have to go back to lexor again #and honestly this story #if it had been bruce in clark's place this story would've been over in 2 panels #because he would've had the common sense to DISGUISE HIMSELF WHEN LANDING ON A PLANET THAT CONSIDERS HIM A CRIMINAL #like none of this would've even happened had it been bruce #but it was funny to watch clark be kinda dumb have to rely on straight up just luck to not end up dead #i really like the idea of clark kinda sucking without his powers #i think it's a good flaw to give him #i like to think villains rather get busted by superman than batman #because superman will have to handle them so fucking gently #like he'll hold them like newborn kittens because if he gets even just a little rought he'll accidentaly kill them #and batman will just beat the shit out of them #like before lex has ever fought batman #he'd laught at joker like 'lmao you got beat by just some human? just some guy? no superpowers?' #and then he gets punched by batman one time #and never wants to step foot into gotham ever again #like 'no thanks i'd rather keep trying to kill this alien with near god like powers than go anywhere near that one emo furry'

[truckstoptigers]

i remember i'd hear about how my state is one of the most dangerous places in terms of sex trafficking and i would think, what an awful thing. how terrible is it that my state has such an issue with trafficking that it's enough for it to be a well-known, well-documented serious danger/risk area.

and i still didn't think it would ever happen to me.

#familial trafficking is a very real thing and i am not okay :) #i still have a hard time coming to terms w it. i mean. thats what happened. i was trafficked. but it wasnt a stranger. #it was my fucking dad!! what the fuck!!!!! #he wouldnt stick around whenever hed bring me somewhere so it could happen. he literally left me w men he didnt even really know. #i remember one of them asked me once 'think your dad would let me keep you?' and all i could do was cry because well. #what exactly was stopping him from taking me? it sure as hell wasnt the law because me being seven fucking years old didnt matter. #im sure some of them thought about it. i just got lucky. i only got to go back home because of dumb luck. not everyone gets that chance. #sometimes i still feel like shit for using the word 'trafficking' to describe what happened to me because i know thats what it was #but it still doesnt feel like its *my* word to use. like im blowing it all out of proportion even though thats. literally what it was. #i dont know how to talk to anyone about it. just typing this made me have to put my phone down for a minute so i could try to calm down. #and then i also had to set it down for like an hour for the same reason. i just. im gonna go play minecraft for a few hours. #csa vent #trauma vent #actuallyabused #actuallytraumatized #tw trafficking #forgetting about this shit for years and having the memories come flooding back all of a sudden has been. SO difficult. #im so tired of thinking about it but i cant stop.

[kinky-asexual]

*lays on the floor*

#vent in the tags i guess so heads up #ive literally had the worst luck this year #i just got in my 3rd car accident #2 in as many weeks #and im just #im so tired #i really want to die but thats inconvient and scary and itll make my mom sad and my fiance sad #bc it feels likenit just liles up and up and up #theres no end #and i dont have time to do what i love anymore #and i cant handle all the shit that keeps happening to me #and im just a burden on my parents financially even tho they say im not i am i know i am #my job sucks but i cant do anything else and this is like the most ive ever gotten paid but its still fucking poverty wages and im stuck #im too dumb to run my own business #i cant get any kind of mental help bc my insurance sucks bc i cant afford anything better bc my job sucks #its just a fucking never ending cycle #and im just tired #now my cars fucked again and i cant drive it now #who knows when ill be able to get a rental so im gonna have to pay out the ass for luft and uber bc i work at Bar hours #which means they charge more #and i love fucking 30 minutes away so even non peak driving times its still like 30 bucks both ways #and im fucking poor as shit #i couldnt even get fucking hurt in these accidents so i could get a medical pay out #i just want to stop #sorry if you've read this far #its sad boy hours here rn #ill delete this later i guess #maybe maybe ill just rot away like i should #whatever

[scuddish]

NORMAN REEDUS as ARCHIE TOUGH LUCK 2003 | dir. Gary Ellis

#who tf colored this movie come outside i just wanna talk #it's a mess #i didn't even want to try to fix it LMAO #norman reedus #normanreedusedit #norman reedus gifs #tough luck 2003 #*scuddish.gif #tw smoking #love him but he's fucking dumb in this movie #norman reedus obsessors i hope you enjoy these ily guys #please feel free to scream about him in my inbox all you want #characters #favorites #mine #infecteryl #2022 favorites

[rosykims]

THE CHAMPION OF KIRKWALL

What can be said about Cillian Hawke that hasn’t been sung about in countless taverns, the source of endless drunken rambling and exasperated laughter? The Tale of the Champion lacks the traditional hallmarks of more classical folklore; indeed, Hawke is hardly a truly noble warrior nor a fully righteous hero. What he is – far-fetched escapades aside – is a person, lowly and ordinary, whose adventures have come to symbolize a triumph for the lowly and ordinary people. And it’s for that reason you won’t hear moving renditions regaled by court poets or prestigious bards. The wise know his is a story best joked about in the comfort of one’s home or ignoble bar of choice, shared between a few good friends and too many cheap drinks. [template]

[Except from ‘Faces of the Dragon: Figures of Fame and Notoriety Throughout the Dragon Age’ by Brother Genitivi]

#da2 #oc: cillian #before anybody asks. yes he is the least cunning rogue to ever exist lol #HES NOT STEALTHY HE'S SCRAPPY OK ! #anyways he started off primarily as a blue hawke but i think thats cancelled now.... the more trauma he accumulates the funnier he gets #i just love the idea that he's just as fucking mentally unwell as the rest of the kirkwall crew #the reason why he and varric become instant best friends is bc hawke's stories are INSANE and spoken about SO casually #his life in kirkwall honestly isnt even the wildest stuff hes been involved in (aside from act 3) #he just gets consistenly caught up in chaos through dumb luck and never staying in one place too long #kirkwall is the one place he felt he had permanency and purpose in. so having to leave really broke his heart tbh #ALSO fun lore for folks just tuning in ! #i hc he asks varric to lie about the ending of the book irt what happens with anders. and to make sure everybody believes anders is dead #and that cillian killed him. which he didnt <3 but <3 #he wants him to be safe and also uh doesnt want sebastian to launch an incursion into kirkwall lol #(i feel like that part fails instantly bc seb is immediately like Press X To Doubt but whatever points for trying)

[synchlora]

can't find any good posts on it so I'll make it myself!

its okay to be upset you can't eat foods you want. its okay to be pissed as hell that every time it seems okay, you get a flare up. its okay to be fucking angry that something you love to eat causes you pain

be angry abt it! be mad that some stupid starch hurts you! be upset at all of those doctors who brush you off! be pissed about people in your life not taking it seriously!

food is an incredibly important part of everyone's lives and its frustrating and infuriating to have any sort of struggles with it. cry over it, talk about it, be loud. it is hellish to have any gastrointestinal disability and, diagnosis or not, you deserve to be able to find comfort in food

so to all of my fellow stomach sufferers, I hope you have a nice evening / morning / night and I wish you good meals and snacks in the days to come. I hope your body goes easy on you and your flare ups lessen, I hope the foods you are able to eat bring you comfort and enjoyment. and I hope when things do get bad, you can find solace with others who understand what you're going through <3

#I cannot count how many times I've cried over food #especially when its social #I think my earliest memory of crying about food was when I was ~12 and had just discovered i was lactose intolerant #and my mom got me an ice cream cake for my birthday #it felt like a cruel joke. and she didn't even understand why j was so upset until I explained it to her #I had to take lunches to school and prepare meals because nothing at school was safe to eat #and on days I didn't have the spoons for it I simply Wouldnt eat #it was so frustrating because one issue became two became four became more than I can count #and food has lost a lot of the comfort and enjoyment it once had because of all the pain #but know that even with setbacks it can get better #narrowing down one bad food after the other is so so fucking worth it just to make food not a chore anymore #there will always be bad days and there will always be new things that crop up as unsafe #but know that even if an old favorite food becomes dangerous that new favorites are out there #I used to love ham on everything but now I can't eat it without awful pain and allergic reaction #but even without that old comfort food I've found new ones like turkey sausage and pasta #just. dude feel free to cry about food #its not dumb jts not overreacting #food is important and its completely fucking worth sobbing over #to everyone with gut issues I wish you good luck o7 know that there is food out there that you'll love and won't hurt you #food tw

[mejomonster]

Being on dating apps makes me wanna tear off my skin

#rant #im like 3 days from calling a therapy line and begging for relationship therapy #but idk if they can even help me or just tell me its no use its luck after all the other stuff ur already doiny #i havent had a fucking crush on a single available person in like 5 years #like at this point id like to get those stupid dumb butterflies again where u see someone all rosey as cute and want to talk to them #i absolutelg feel no desire to pursue a single fuxking person im so bored it feels like a chore #im not gonna find love or even those hormonal honeymoon feelings of a dumb crush whilr i feel im exhausted -.- #im about to be a year older and i havent kissed anyone in 5 years #i wanna have sex 5 times a #day or more for a fucking year i wanna kiss till im tired someone i Genuinely like #need a crush :c #and id really like a xrush on someone Available who might actually like me back

[crimsongrimoire]

ahahaha ohhhh i just remembered i have this damn app im about to be so insufferable

#crow.txt #not writing #lord. should i make a gameplay tag #people who dont think the aquila favonia is good for kaeya are literally so fucking wrong. my boy is insane. #'is he cryo or phys dps?' yes. #when i get him a good hourglass finally. then you'll fucking see the error of your ways. #(already consistently gets huge damage even without freezing) #he and kokomi are so fucking nuts together. its wild. #actually tbh i usually have beidou swapped in for klee atm but i didnt wanna put her here bc her build is embarrassing. #her domain hates me and also she uses treasure hoarder stuff for talents sorry kaeya is priority. albedo too cause he uses ballad books. #i think not. those are kaeyas. you will get your turn small man #it amuses me to no end that my team is always in height order completely unintentionally #i leveled kokomi in precisely a week and a day and the only reason for that was fucking sango pearls. #i had her artis done much sooner but that was dumb luck and me throwing the towel in on the circlet bc i couldnt get a healing bonus one #which is what i have. might sub out for an hp one. kinda the same ish. but we'll see. #and i need one for albedo too same domain its fine (literally not even hard with kokomi and kaeya. and ofc beidou) #forgot cwof domain hates me so bad too and klees build is so meh. but in my defense even with that her damage is crazy rn #me: complains abt never getting a funny witch hat Ever #(does a reliquary while complaining and its literally ONLY HATS only one of which worked for her) #complaining literally always works. always #also need to level koko's gay little book but thats like trivial at this point when i get a few more ley line sprouts #(laughs in 11mil mora) #everyone else ever ive tried to get artis for was like blood sweat and tears meanwhile with kokomi it was just like here you are sir #fighting for my life in the archaic petra domain only for it not to MATTER ANYMORE. #after those artis were released i was like .....whatever. ill only go there if i have a reason to. if i get kokomi. whatever #and now look at me. making a clown of myself. violating my one superiority complex of not believing in healers. #genshinposting

[kil9]

aauauauuougghghs i need to move out 👁👁

^^^ [CHEC IT OUT] i need to move out moodboard (available now !!!(

#99.txt #my mom is like ''you seem upset with mee :('' yeah cos straight up like i think i just hate u now #when i got covid it was MY problem i stayed in my room. i wore a mask any time i left. i even wore gloves to the kitchen. #to make sure she didnt get it (and she didnt !!!) and i even cleaned the whole house while i had it lol. and still kept it away from her #so now that she has it guess what !!!!!!!!!!!! everyone guess what !!!! its STILL my problem !!! #i stay in my room ! i use the basement toilet !! i have to wear a mask outside my room at all times !! #and wash my hands so much im gettin rashes because she just goes around doing whatever touching whatever ? #coughing on whatever because she doesnt give a shit !!!! #i made it my mission when i had it to keep her safe #and now that she has it its ''well if you wanna keep safe thats your responsibility'' like ??????? #i promise you the thought of making space for another person & accommodating or compromising has never occoured to her once #its all ''well its up to you !!! good luck !!!!!'' yeah fuck me i guess #and she keeps bothering me asking me to help her with shit still !!!!!!!!!!! #''how do i find my documents on the computer ive had for 10 years :('' are you stupid ?????? are you dumb for real ??????? #and she puts me in the situation where. im busy clearly busy with my own shit #but she feels SO entitled to my time that she will just insist that i drop everything and do something for her #if i say no or have a slightly unenthusiastic response its ''oh youre SO mean to me youre SO mean. no one will want you :('' ...ok. #but if i ask for help from my own mother once in a while its ''wow you ask so much of me you know youre not a child anymore :\\\'' #yeah. i know. i dont think ive been helped with anything by a parent since i was like 15 years old #''why are you mad at me ven you seem mad at me :('' yeah . i think like you just kinda fucking suck

[chryzure-archive]

a curse for true love? fucking seriously? really? oh my god

#stephanie your titles get more and more childish the more time goes on #memorie.txt #its so fucking dumb like. tell me you didn’t actually plan out your trilogy series w/o saying it 💀 #chryzure w jacks backstory is more and more canon with each passing day since it’s clear stephanie’s writing fanfic of her own charas #and not even including the cool ones… assassin.. mistress luck…. don’t worry i’m here for you 🖤🖤🖤

[erinbun]

Not only is this a scam, it’s like a comically bad one. Everyone go mock this guy for being shit at scamming

#he still got me tho #fuck this user #good luck finding someone as dumb as me to scam #honestly embarrassing that I even fell for it he’s like so obvious #everyone go shit on him in his DMs

[hauntingblue]

I loved this movie about nami and her ex situationship reconciling and also anti capitalism

#i have one question are the episode 0 of movies just fanservice am i reding this right. also zoro looks jealous and petty #can they in like love action make zoro chastize sanji bc he is an ally and not just letting him sound jealous and petty like i enjoy both #but clarificaiton sometimes you know. like sanji stop that its dehumanizing and disrespectful also i want you #why are they worried about money when they are in a casino. nami was great at playing cards wasnt she #franky and luffy bonding sumo time.... nami gets the title hell yeah lmao i have been saying she is the strongest #omg the children sellong flowers... dont tell me luffy is going to defeat capitalism in this movie. hell yeah #i was gonna say cant believe they let luffy bet but he does have good luck tho. the stomach ache lmao #sanji is so stupid akdjsksks the guy who likes pain also....don't let sanji think too much about it omg the golden dust.... #zoro is going to be executed sanji and luffy are unlucky and all of them are broke and in debt. damn. how are you broke as a pirate even #nami and carina ex situationship talking about trusting each other again looking at the sunset... exactly #that was such a nasty betrayal and nami trusting her again so easily and fast like damn. #also what is the cp0 koala and sabo doing there like damn. jesus even #also what is absalom doing there.... #and WHO let luffy infiltrate. FRANKY GOT IMPALED!! gold is really malleable and not resistant and strong like this is getting me out of it #sanji got a cleaning man fit instead of a cleaning lady fit so why is usopp wearing one ajdjaka.... i mean he is the crews babygirl.... #also second movie where zoro gets kidnapped. the peoples princess. #omg they are in the pipes. also why is there pipe for the entry of seawater in a boat. maybe i don't know enough about boats #franky getting luffy out of the fan.... cradled like baby jesus for an instant #omg they have been bamboozled BY CARINA?????? OMG AGAIN??? NAMI!!!! OH NVM!!! WHAT??? #luffy didnt know they were doing all this cause he would have fucked it up akshaua him being thrown half dead out of the tower ahsuakaia #this reminds me of super mario wii where bowser turns into a bigger bowser when you kill it. damn #also another good guy turned villain because of tragedy. two in a row #the kid with the metal pipe omg... sabo is coming #i heard hikken and the voice was so similar i wondered why ace was there.... for a millisecond he was there..... 😞 #the red hawk and everything..... should we all kill ourselves.... omg carina didnt betray her actually #tesoro dumb asf for taking nami look how he is going down after that lmao didnt expect gear fourth tho. damn #still thinking about how gold isnt that strong so this shouldn't be necessary but alas shonen be shonen. luffy saving namis gf too <3 #talking tag #watching one piece #watching one piece movies

[sea-salted-wolverine]

So there are some perks to living in a tourist destination. There are a lot of detractors mostly that you cannot shoot the tourists because you rely on them for your income but you have a semi captive audience with no context for any of the bullshit you spew. You can tell these people anything and they will believe you, the trusted friendly local. Now this is a very much Spider-Man situation where Great Power begets Great Audacity and even worse Responsibility.

My buddy goes on a run and when hes done there is a bar near a creek. So he wades into the creek because the day is hot and the water is cold.

Tourists ask what hes up to, with his running stuff he didn't want wet piled on the shore and him very obviously cooling off in the water. He says he's fishing.

But now here is why I am telling you this story. The universe occasionally aligns in such a way that we get to really really fuck with people and their perception of said universe. The opportunities do not come often and when they come you must seize the day. This is what my buddy did.

So this Creek runs through town and as a result of the highway and neighborhoods and culverts and roads it does not have a great salmon run. It's a short Creek the headwaters are only a few miles from the ocean it never had a great salmon run to begin with. But there are salmon.

One such fish brushes past my buddy's leg. Immediately he knees the fish like he is juggling a soccer ball and pops it out of the water, then slaps it out of the air on to the shore.

This is dumb luck. He could not do this again if he spent years training. Noodling (catching fish with your hands) is a thing that is legal to do with salmon but it is so much harder than literally every other way to catch salmon, including grabbing them with a garbage can. What he just managed is the kind of thing that should make you want to grab the fish and swing it around your head like a stripper with her panties off.

But,

He has an audience.

This is the opportunity offered by the universe.

He plays it cool.

He puts on dead pan straight face on and wades up to shore to grab his fish and nod to the tourists. Someone asks something and he assures them this is the standard way to get a quick dinner here. The tour guide has caught up with his group. He looks at my buddy and his fish and the general lack of fishing accoutrement. Without missing a beat, the guide backs up every ounce of bullshit out of my buddys mouth because if there is one true fraternity it is locals bullshitting stupid tourists.

#from the far north #fishing #tourists #alaska #salmon