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szasfuckingwife · 10 months

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WHEN I LOOK IN YOUR EYES, I FEEL ALIVE

EX CONVICT!TOJI X MOM!READER

WARNINGS: angst, fluff, Toji has gone to prison, Toji fushiguro is a family man and wants his family back !!

SYNOPSIS: Toji being incarcerated fucked you and your daughter up badly, and when he’s released, you want nothing more than to hold him again.

A/N: i was listening to Blue by Beyoncé while writing this and she made that song for her daughter and I just felt the need to sob for some reason🥲 but yeah prisonbf! Toji missing his gf and kid fucks me up.

When Toji went to prison, you knew it was the end of your relationship. You warned him so many times that this would happened, even before you gave birth to your daughter. And, knowing Toji, there was no convincing him.

The court trial was the worst memory that comes to mind when talking about Toji. When the judge declared he was guilty, it wasn’t a shock to anyone, even Toji.

But it didn’t help that you were there, holding your two year old as police men took him away. Not once, during the whole ordeal, did Toji look back at you two, deciding it was too much to see his girlfriend and daughter who he loved so much get taken away from him. He’d probably break down right there if he looked back.

You cried so much that day, especially when getting told that he’d be facing five years. Even when your lawyer ensured that Toji would face a lot less if he behaves well in prison, it all went in one ear and out the other.

It had been a difficult two years, he’s missed out on so much. Such as, his daughter’s third and fourth birthday, you having a new job and the fact that you and that guys relationship was more serious than he thought.

He remembers when you told him about it. It was bittersweet due to the fact that you brought your daughter so Toji could see her. “Daddy!” She exclaimed, excited to see her dad even though it’s behind a poorly cleaned window. She was too excited to even speak through the telephone.

But Toji already knew. Toji knew his daughter loved him. He talked to her about school and smiled as his four year old talked about whatever she’d been doing for the past week. Except, she mentioned that her, mommy and ‘that man’ went to the park.

When his daughter said that, Toji looked at you only to see you looking away, embarrassingly. Despite his annoyance, the raven haired man kept smiling at your daughter, even more attentive than he was before.

You took the phone once your daughter was finished, “He’s just a friend from work.”

“Why don’t I know about this guy?” Toji asked whilst keeping his hand pressed up against the glass so his daughter could press her hand up too.

“Because it’s not that serious to be talking about.” You sigh. And you were right, it was a couple of dates and drinks but he didn’t make you feel things that Toji had made you feel. “Don’t do this, Toji, not here. Not in front of her.” Your daughter looks up at you, her hand still separated from her fathers due to the glass.

He scoffed, “Does he sleep over? You fuckin him now, is that it? In my bed, huh?”

You stayed silent, not wanting your daughter to hear you lash out. Toji grew even more annoyed at that, “You know that’s gonna upset her, right? She’s gonna think you’re replacing her dad. That shit isn’t fair, Y/N. You know I’m gonna be released soon.”

“And that’s supposed to make me roll out the red carpet for you? And forget that this shit ever happened?” You scoff. Toji opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again choosing to let you talk. “I’ve missed you so much. She misses you so much. Do you know how hard it has been to raise a child on my own? And for you to give me shit if I wanted to move on? Fuck you, Toji.”

His questions not only angered you, but upset you. You had every right to allow yourself to move on after him being locked up for two years. The fact that he’d even attempt to make you feel bad about that was absurd.

Toji watched silently as you held back tears, put the telephone in its holder and walked away with your daughter.

That was the last conversation he had with you for a year. Toji would’ve slapped his past self for even talking to you like that because he misses you now more than ever.

There were so many times where he’s called you, longing to hear your sweet voice. Even if it’s you saying that he’s a dick and you never wanted to hear from him again.

But that wish was never granted.

‘Hey, it’s me again. It’s nearly peanuts fourth birthday..’ He smiles remembering the nickname you gave your daughter. ‘I was just wondering if maybe you could come around? Or maybe give me a call, just so I can wish her a happy birthday. I miss you more and more each day. Both of you. I love you.’

The voicemail meant nothing to you. It should’ve meant nothing to you. But hearing him say your daughter’s nickname sent tears down your face.

He truly misses his little family.

You can only imagine his excitement when he was released. He called an uber straight to your home, his home. He had nothing but a bag of his possessions and $20 but once he’d see you again, he’d be more than satisfied.

It was a Saturday morning. You cooked your daughter some scrambled eggs for breakfast, reminding you of her dad who ate eggs almost everyday. Toji was set to be released any time now, and that loomed over your head like a plague.

Suddenly, you hear three loud knocks coming from your door. It startled you, and your daughter who nearly dropped her orange juice. It was probably one of your friends who forgot their bag here, you thought.

But once you opened the door, you were met with an unwanted surprise.

Toji stood, smiling down at you, dressed in a casual hoodie and joggers. He was definitely more buff due to all the muscle gain he earned through prison. It was strange seeing him again. Not behind a glass but in front of you. Not in his orange jumpsuit but in normal clothes.

You wanted to touch him, see if he was real.

“Hey..” He said. Oh, how badly he wanted to kiss you right then and there. Seeing you again after a year was the best thing that has ever happened to him.

When your daughter saw him, stood at the door, her mouth fell open. “You remember me, sweetheart?” Toji crouched down to her height with open arms as she ran towards him.

He almost cried as his little girl sobbed into his shoulder, she wasn’t as little as she was when he last saw her. He realised how much time has passed. And how much he’s missed the both of you.

“Daddy, don’t l-leave again…”, the four year old croaked out, her nose stuffy and eyes watery. Toji rubbed her back, encouraging her to let her feelings out.

Toji almost jumped when he felt an extra pair of hands join in the hug. However, when he looked up and saw you, he was reminded that everything he ever did and everything he’d ever do would be for the two of you. He pulled you into the hug and held you both, kissing both of your foreheads.

All resentment you felt towards him went away the second you saw him. The three of you caught up, well, it was more of you and your daughter catching him up. The most Toji could do was mention all the times he’s intimidated people at prison, even those serving longer sentences than him. However, Toji was still glad to know you ended things with that guy you were with.

He helped you cook dinner, not forgetting to kiss your cheek every step of the way. The meal truly being made with love. He missed the domesticity of his life. Even when he was going through all his trial stuff, he remembers you, his baby daughter and him all cozied up on the couch, eating spaghetti or something.

And now he had that opportunity again. He enjoyed seeing you remind your daughter to not play with her food and how she asked for ice cream once she was done.

Once the day was over, Toji sat on his bed, his back still not truly recovered from sleeping in a dingy prison bed. It also helped that you were there. You removed his clothes, peppering him with kisses as you did so. He snuggled up to your warm body and just listened to your steady breathing.

“I fucking love you.” He whispers and you hum in response. He knows you and how it’ll take some time before you can utter those words again. If it takes him the rest of his life to make things up to you, he’ll do that.

But that’s fine. As long as he’s with you.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #toji fluff #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #jjk toji #toji x you #toji fushiguro x reader #toji angst

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luminoustarlight · 7 months

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Passionfruit | Anakin Skywalker

Ingesting a foreign fruit leaves you and Anakin feeling strange.

rating: explicit | pairing: anakin skywalker x afab!jedi!reader | wc: 2.1k | read on ao3 warnings: literally no plot, just porn, SMUT [sex pollen of sorts, mildly dub con due to sex pollen, mutual masturbation, blowjob, cum swallowing, anakin spits in readers mouth, unprotected p in v, creampie, dirty talk], swearing

kind of but not really inspired by passionfruit by drake but covered by scary pockets. i really just use song titles as my titles bc I'm uncreative and lazy.

As soon as you and Anakin reach the ship, you both know something is wrong.

It’s in the way your conversation halts, the way Anakin looks at you with inky pupils bleeding into his blue eyes, the way you suddenly feel like you can’t breathe. Your first thought is that you’ve been drugged. You’ve been together the whole day, you haven’t encountered any suspicious beings, you’ve eaten the same things— “The fruit…” you mumble.

Anakin is peeling off his black robe because his skin is so hot, he feels like he’s going to burn right through the fabric. “What?”

“The fruit!” you repeat, tugging at the collar of your tunic. The symptoms wash over you like a tsunami making landfall. Instantly and violently. Sweat has formed across your brow, your entire nervous system is on fire and your cunt has started to ache.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Anakin shouts, now undoing his utility belt and taking off the rest of his layers. “Maker, why is it so fucking hot in here?”

He doesn’t mean to be cross with you, he’s just so fucking confused. Nothing makes sense. He has one singular thought. I need to fuck.

He’s so painfully hard, he’s not sure if he has ever felt this miserable. This desperate. He needs his hand around his dick or better yet, slipped inside a tight pussy. He’s pretty sure it’s the only thing that will make him feel better.

With Anakin’s broad chest and chiseled abdomen on display, it makes it impossible for you to make sense of the mess in your mind. You feel drunk, weak knees wobbling as you literally cannot resist the urge to touch yourself.

Before you’re even conscious of it, you’re ridding yourself of your Jedi robes and everything else except for your bandeau and underwear. It’s an out of body experience realizing that you’ve stripped yourself almost bare without consciously thinking ‘ I’m going to take my clothes off ’.

You’ve read about certain flora and fauna like this in the library at the Temple. Certain foods and flowers are known aphrodisiacs, containing a chemical that puts the person who is exposed to it in the mood. However, there are some that are so potent, it quite literally makes the person so aroused, the only way to remedy the symptoms is to orgasm. If you try to explain all of that to your Jedi companion, the one you’ve known since you were younglings, the words would come out as mush.

“Fruit… horny… we need to-fuck,” your already weak train of thought gets even more derailed once Anakin starts palming himself over his pants.

Anakin’s brow furrows but he doesn’t stop running his hand over his bulging dick. I want it in my mouth, you think. Although the fruit has left you and Anakin with the insatiable need to fuck, you feel a pit of shame in your stomach. Sex is not forbidden as a Jedi, but it’s not something you regularly practice. You usually take care of it yourself, as you’re too afraid to partake in something so intimate with a stranger. It makes you wonder if Anakin simply uses his hand or goes out of his way to find someone to have sex with…

Possession quickly swallows up all of the shame you were feeling. Imagining Anakin with his lips on someone else, his cock inside someone else, making someone else cum— it makes you want to puke. You want him all to yourself. He’s your best friend, you’ve saved each other’s skin countless times, your bond is like no other. And now it’s going to be irrevocably changed because of something you ingested. Not because you finally acted on your true feelings for him.

“The- the fruit made us… fuck,” Anakin groans. “I need to take my cock out, it hurts so much.”

“I know, Ani,” you watch him intently, impulses absolutely impossible to ignore. As he removes his pants and takes a firm hold of his cock, your hand slips beneath the waistband of your underwear and you begin rubbing quick circles over your clit. “Oh…” you whimper, even though you’ve barely scratched the surface of satisfaction.

“Take it off,” he says darkly. His dick is throbbing and leaking an obscene amount of precum. His hand moves up and down with ease, brushing his thumb over his tip with each upward stroke. “Take off the rest of your fucking clothes, Y/N. I need to see you.”

You nod, wriggling out of your underwear and slipping your bandeau over your head. Your fingers are back inside of you, prodding as deep as you can go. Anakin is going feral watching you fuck yourself with your fingers. Pretty tits on display for him, even more perfect than he imagined.

Maker, he’s in awe of you. He always thought you were cute growing up. But then you seemed to blossom overnight and suddenly you were a woman. He wants to worship every inch of you, run his hands over the hills and valleys of your body, and then he wants to fuck you stupid. To fuck you so hard you’re screaming nothing but his name and seeing stars.

“Keep touching yourself, Ani. It’s the only way we’ll feel better.”

The wet sounds of both of your sexes fill the hull of the ship and you think briefly, that this is one of the worst places to experience the effects of a foreign fruit. At least it’s just the two of you on this mission. Just the two of you, the most mischievous Jedi pair the Order has ever seen, mutually masturbating in a Republic commissioned ship. And it’s not enough. Your fingers have never felt so pointless and disappointing in your entire life.

“More…” you mumble, pulling your fingers from your cunt as they were doing you no good. “Anakin, I need more.”

“Fuck,” he breathes, bottom lip catching between his teeth. Your pussy clenches pitifully as you imagine what it’d feel like to be filled with Anakin’s cock. He’s thick and long, and you’ve never particularly thought of dicks as pretty, but Stars, if Anakin’s isn’t the definition of pretty then you don’t know what is. “I’m gonna cum- I can’t help it, angel. It’s- fuckfuckfuck-”

You’re in front of Anakin in a flash, dropping to your knees and throwing your mouth over his cock just as he begins to cum. Anakin can’t help but push you further down his length, groaning loudly when you choke on him. “Shit- that’s it, choke on my cock, baby.” Anakin pushes your hair away from your face to see you looking up at him with the wickedest eyes. He knows you need more and even though he’s just cum himself, he doesn’t feel too much better. It’s a good thing he was going to fuck you regardless.

Your nose is nuzzled against his tuft of hair and the musky scent of him makes you dizzy. You’re rubbing your clit again, but it’s no use. Nothing is going to make you feel better but Anakin. You’d settle for his fingers or even his mouth. You just need him.

Once Anakin is sure he’s milked everything out, he pulls his cock out of your mouth. There’s still cum on your tongue when he leans down to kiss you, pulling you up from the ground with just his hand around your neck. Your tongues dance around each other briefly before Anakin breaks away. “Open.”

You open your mouth and Anakin spits the cocktail of your saliva and his cum back into your mouth. It’s the most erotic thing you’ve ever experienced. It makes your whole predicament worse. It’s actually cruel that Anakin has already cum and you’re still miserable. You’re still suffering the effects of the fruit. “Ani, please. I need to-”

“Get on the floor,” he orders. “On your back.”

You don’t need to be told twice. You hiss at the cool metal flooring of the ship, but it’s honestly like an ice pack on a battle wound. It feels amazing against the burning inferno you’re feeling from the inside out. This isn’t how Anakin imagined ravishing you. Ideally, he’d make you writhe against the mattress with his fingers, then with his mouth. It isn’t until you’ve cum at least twice, does he go about making you cum around his cock. But unfortunately, urgency is of the utmost importance.

As he lifts your leg over his shoulder, his cock brushes against your folds. You whimper at the all-too-brief contact with his weeping tip. He’s going to stretch you out, going to hit so deeply you won’t be able to fucking walk for a day. “Oh my Gods, Anakin, please. I feel like I’m dying.”

His perfect pink lips form a devilish smirk before he finally, finally pushes himself into you. Immediately, the fire feels like it’s beginning to extinguish. He hasn’t even begun to move yet. “Need my cock to save you, baby?”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head and you wish you cared enough to come up with a retort but it just feels so good to have Anakin inside of you. “Sh-shut up,” you clench your walls to tease him back. “Fuck me, Anakin. Hard.”

“You’re gonna get it hard for being a little bitch just then.” Anakin nips at your ankle as he draws his cock almost entirely out of your cunt before ramming back in so forcefully it makes you scream. Like, bloody murder scream. “Louder, honey. I can’t hear you,” he taunts.

“Fuck!” Your arms stretch above your head, gripping onto the grated floor so you aren’t pushed away with each demanding thrust Anakin delivers. There’s no finesse to it, really, he’s just fucking you hard like you asked. His knees are probably aching from the uncomfortable surface of the floor but he doesn’t seem to give it much attention.

“Is this how you wanted it, then? To be fucked so hard you’re basically just a toy?” Anakin leans down, which makes your hamstring stretch and sting as your knee is practically next to your face. The new angle with which Anakin’s cock is entering you is divine. You feel like he’s in your stomach with how deep the tip of him is hitting.

“Mmmm,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around Anakin’s neck. You tug at his grown-out hair, bringing him down to your mouth. He still tastes a bit like his cum, along with the salty sweat that has formed over the top of his lip. You drag your hands down the expanse of his back, muscles tensing under you with each thrust.

He’s driving into you with strong, punctuated movements. He kisses along your neck, over your racing pulse, and bites down. He hollows his cheeks to leave a mark that will remind both of you of the time you ate a fruit that made you carnal for each other. He soothes his tongue over your new bruise before leaving a butterfly kiss on your jaw. When his mouth settles over your ear, his hot breath sends a new wave of tingles down to your toes. “Feels so good, angel. Maker, your cunt is perfect. Just the tightest little hole for me to use.”

“All yours, Ani-” your thought is cut off when Anakin’s gloved hand presses against your clit. Your back arches off of the floor and you know it’s only a matter of seconds before you finally reach your peak. Anakin knows just how to rub you so it pushes you along. Your long-awaited orgasm explodes like a firecracker. It jolts through your body, your pussy pulsates rapidly around Anakin and that sends him over the edge, too. He’s cumming for a second time and thankfully, he actually feels satiated. He just hopes you do too, because he’s exhausted and aching.

It takes you several moments to calm down from your orgasm but the fog has finally begun to dissipate from your head. Anakin pulls his softening dick from you and collapses next to you on the floor. His chest is heaving from the exertion, which is understandable. But then he just starts laughing.

You turn to look at him, totally puzzled. “What?” you can’t help but smile too, because his laugh is just that infectious.

“I just can’t believe it took eating a fruit for us to finally make a move.”

“We kind of didn’t have a choice.”

“Yeah,” Anakin sighs.

“Wait,” you prop your head up on your elbow. “You wanted to… you know…with me before eating the fruit?”

Anakin mirrors you. “Well, yeah. Didn’t you?”

You roll your eyes. “Could you be any more conceited, Anakin Skywalker?”

“Actually, I could.”

Yeah, he could. That was a stupid question. So your suspicions were right, after all.

You and Anakin have always been close. A bit too close for the Council’s liking if we’re being honest. They would be lying if they said they weren’t worried about the two of you.

It’s a good thing they will never know about the mess you two made in this Republic star ship.

◂ anakin masterlist ▸ main masterlist

#anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker one shot #anakin skywalker fan fiction #anakin skywalker x female reader #anakin skywalker x f!reader #anakin skywalker x afab!reader #anakin skywalker x jedi!reader

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babydollmarauders · 7 months

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TIMELESS — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!reader

surprise song! part (and final part) of the Speak Now Fic List

summary: in which y/n writes she and Jack’s first dance song and it’s Jack’s first time hearing it

notes: Taylor doesn’t exist in this alternative universe, and you’ll understand why! (2.5k words)

“i want you to write our first dance song.”

when Jack had told me that just five months ago, i was at a loss for words.

i’m no pop star, by any means, and i’ve never desired to be one. i dabble in song writing as a way to release my anxiety and that’s it.

i’ve bounced lyrics off of Jack for as long as i can remember. we went from facetimes in high school, after practice, singing him verses i was unsure of, to sitting beside him in bed, my guitar in my hands as i tried to work out lyrics and having him put his two cents in.

he knew i never planned for anyone else to hear them. they were for he and i’s ears only. yet he still complimented my voice, my lyricism, the instrumentals i played out in the dead of night.

he told me i wrote like a poet. he called me the greatest storyteller who’s ever lived.

but the greatest compliment, and also the greatest challenge, he’s ever given me, was to write the song to which we’ll have our first dance as husband and wife. to write our love into the purest form of art.

it took me four months to write what our love felt like, into words. constant lyric changes, and multiple instances of scrapping a song altogether and starting anew. it took another month for me to get it all made in a rented studio. recorded and produced into the song it is now.

but as i took so long to perfect it to my liking, i took the greatest risk of my songwriting journey. i never once bounced lyrics off of Jack. i wrote only when he was on roadies, hiding my journal inside of an old blanket that sits on the high shelf in our closet when he was home.

i wanted this song to be a complete surprise once it was finished. i wanted him to only hear it once it was in its perfected form. and that would be today.

my leg bounces on the couch, my fingers playing with the fringed side of the decorative pillow that lies within my lap, as i wait for Jack to get home from practice.

my nerves are quickly rising, my anxiety getting the best of me. if he dislikes this song, then i only have one month to create an entirely new one.

i feel sick. like i could both pass out and lose my breakfast at any moment.

my head perks up as i hear the apartment door open, the un-hushed whispers of Jack and Luke reaching my ears, and when they step into the living room, the signature smile on Jack’s face brightens.

“hi, baby.” he grins, bounding forward to press a kiss to my forehead. “i didn’t think you would be awake already.”

“i got it.” i rush out, the monotonous small talk of the moment not appealing to me in the slightest.

“got what, doll?” Jack’s brows thread together in confusion, and i can hear Luke’s pots and pans clattering in the kitchen.

“the final demo of our first dance song.” my teeth sink into my bottom lip, watching realization settle over Jack’s face. “the producer sent it to me this morning.”

“that’s great, baby! why do you look like your gonna throw up?” he laughs, taking a seat beside me on the sofa.

“because i’m scared you’re gonna hate it.” i confess. “i spent so long on this one song, making it into something i’m proud of, but it all means nothing if you don’t think it’s good enough.”

“hey.” he coos softly, a gentle hand raising to cup my cheek. “i love everything you write. and i know that this song is gonna be no exception.”

his forehead rests against mine, my eyes fluttering shut as i take a deep breath.

“are you ready to hear it?” my words come out in a whisper and i can feel him nod against me.

“i’ve been ready since the day i asked you to write it.” i pull back to smile at my fiancé, heaving out a deep sigh.

“hey Luke?” he calls out, getting a distracted ‘yeah?’ in return. “you mind giving us a few minutes alone?”

“uhh-” Luke peeks through kitchen entryway. “‘in my room’ alone? or ‘leave the apartment’ alone?”

“in your room is fine.” i assure him gently and he nods.

i watch as he turns the stove off before walking to his room. as soon as his door shuts, Jack is turning to me with an excited smile.

“okay, let’s listen!” my hand shakes as i lean forward, clicking on my laptop that rests on the coffee table, pressing play on the file.

the first notes echo throughout the living room, the gentle guitar strums causing Jack’s eyes to crinkle as he smiles softly, bobbing his head, his eyes glued to the laptop screen.

“Down the block, there's an antique shop

And something in my head said, ‘Stop,’ so i walked in

On the counter was a cardboard box

And the sign said, ‘Photos: twenty-five cents each’

Black and white, saw a '30s bride

And two lovers laughin' on the porch of their first house

The kinda love that you only find once in a lifetime

The kind you don't put down”

he looks over at me, confusion written across his face, but his eyes still shining with joy.

“And that's when i called you and it's so hard to explain

But in those photos, i saw us instead

And, somehow, i know that you and i would've found each other

In another life, you still would've turned my head even if we'd met”

his eyes grow softer, my cheeks heating up.

sure, i’ve written love songs about Jack in the past, but this one was special. this one speaks a truer and deeper meaning than any of my past songs.

“On a crowded street in 1944

And you were headed off to fight in the war

You still would've been mine

We would have been timeless

I would've read your love letters every single night

And prayed to God you'd be comin' home all right”

his smile is gentler now, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he snakes his hand over to hold mine, and i know he’s thinking about the same thing as me.

remembering the time early on in his NHL career, when i confessed to him that every time he went on a roadie, i had so much worry that he would get hurt and i wouldn’t be there for him. when i admitted that, regardless of me not being a highly religious individual, i prayed before every game that he would come out okay. that he would come home in the same condition as he left.

“And you would've been fine

We would have been timeless

'Cause i believe that we were supposed to find this

So, even in a different life, you still would've been mine

We would've been timeless”

salty tears roll down my cheeks at the sight of his, gathering on my chin and dripping down onto our conjoined hands, gripped tightly together in my lap.

“I had to smile when it caught my eye

There was one of a teenage couple in the driveway

Holdin' hands on the way to a dance

And the date on the back said 1958

Which brought me back to the first time I saw you

Time stood still like somethin' in this old shop”

he pulls me closer, until i’m practically sitting on his lap, pressing his lips to my cheek, and i wonder if he’s thinking back on when we first met too. but what he doesn’t know is that i saw him first. i’d never told him that bit.

how i silently pined after him for months until we really met. it’s written in my vows though.

junior year, when i first saw him in the school hallway and it felt like everything around me had frozen.

he had been standing at his locker, laughing about something that Trevor had said. i heard the laugh first, and my entire body felt warm. but then i turned and caught sight of him, and it felt like time had stopped. my heartbeat had sped up, everything around me drowning out until all i could focus on was him.

“I thought about it as i started lookin' 'round

At these precious things that time forgot

That's when i came upon a book covered in cobwebs

Story of a romance torn apart by fate

Hundreds of years ago, they fell in love, like we did

And i'd die for you in the same way, if i first saw your face”

our foreheads press against each other, my thumb wiping away his tears.

“In the 1500s off in a foreign land

And i was forced to marry another man

You still would've been mine

We would have been timeless

I would've read your love letters every single night

And run away and left it all behind

You still would've been mine

We would've been timeless

'Cause i believe that we were supposed to find this

So, even in a different life, you still would've been mine

We would've been timeless”

his lips slot against mine, perfectly placed in harmonious synchrony, our fallen tears mingling together upon the meeting.

“Time breaks down your mind and body

Don't you let it touch your soul

It was like an age-old classic

The first time that you saw me

The story started when you said, ‘Hello’

In a crowded room a few short years ago

And sometimes there's no proof, you just know

You're always gonna be mine

We're gonna be-

I'm gonna love you when our hair is turnin' gray

We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we've made

And you'll say, ‘Oh my, we really were timeless’”

my thoughts drift back to the first time we really met.

it was on new year’s eve in our junior year. Cole was having a joint new years and birthday party.

*** DECEMBER 31ST, 2019 ***

Cole’s house is crowded. insanely so.

i didn’t originally plan to come. but Cole’s become a good friend of mine through our shared history class, and he’s been blowing up my phone all day, begging me all day to attend.

so now here i stand.

alone in the crowded living room of Cole Caufield’s billet residence, a red solo cup in my hand as i people watch.

i’m unsure of what to do. Cole currently sits on the couch with a few of his hockey friends from the US National Development Program, and i feel awkward going over there. but i don’t actually know anyone else here.

i tend to keep to myself more often than not, which results in the rest of my friends being fellow introverts that would never be at a party like this.

“y/n!” my eyes grow wide, my head snapping to find where the call of my name had originated from, and i’m slightly surprised to find Cole grinning over at me, his hand waving in the air and motioning me over.

my eyes flicker beside him to see Jack sat next to Alex, both paying no attention to anything going on around them.

with none of Jack’s attention on me, i figure it’s safe to go over and wish Cole a happy early birthday.

i push my shoulders back, standing up straighter, attempting to push my way through a horde of fellow high schoolers.

but my walk is a lot less confident once i witness Jack’s gaze drifts towards me. i stumble a little, crinkling my nose as a guy i share pre-calculus with bumps me in the back.

“hi Cole.” i force a smile on my surely red face, fidgeting under the gaze of all the boys, but especially anxious now that Jack’s attention is on me.

“hey! you came!” Cole rises from his seat, pulling me into a hug, recklessly causing my drink to slosh in its cup.

“well you were texting me all day. you wouldn’t take no for an answer.” i chuckle as he plops back down to the couch with a sigh.

“i couldn’t throw my birthday party and not have my favorite girl show up!” he shouts, my face heating up. “oh! guys, this is y/n! she’s my friend from history!”

the guys all mumble out distracted ‘hey’s, no longer paying any attention to me, more interested in their new conversations or, in Trevor’s case, trying to charm a girl.

except for Jack. his baby blues are still locked on me, the corners of his mouth pulled up in a small smile.

“hello.” it’s only one word, but my heart races in my chest. i’ve been pining after this exact boy from afar for months, and now he knows who i am. “i’m Jack.”

“hi Jack.” i shake his hand, his touch sending shivers down my body.

*** PRESENT ***

Jack’s hand rubs my thigh, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“We're gonna be timeless, timeless

You still would've been mine

We would've been

Even if we'd met on a crowded street in 1944

You still would've been mine

We would've been

Down the block, there's an antique shop

And somethin' in my head said, ‘Stop,’ so i walked in”

*** ONE MONTH LATER ***

my arms wrap around my now-husband’s neck, my hands toying with the hair at the nape of his neck.

our family and friends watch on from their seats, Ellen’s eyes catching mine, tears already threatening to pour over.

the first guitar chords stream out from the speakers as Jacks hand wrap around my waist, and we begin swaying around the dance floor.

Jack’s eyes gaze into mine, smiling as he whispers the lyrics back to me, relieving some of my anxiety from our guests hearing my song.

i grin back at him, craning my neck to press a kiss against his lips as the song nears its end.

i purposefully avoid looking anywhere near the crowd, laying my head on his chest as the song ends, the final chords strumming.

his heartbeat echoes in my ears, quickening as he presses a kiss against the top of my head.

his words are mumbled into my hair, his lips pressed to my scalp- “our love is timeless.”

#speak now fic list #jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes fic #jack hughes blurb #nj devils #nhl fic #nhl imagine #faithlynn’s writings <3

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levi501ackerman · 14 days

Text

She Looks Just Like a Dream | Levi x Reader Fluff

masterlist

Summary: One day the scouts find out Levi has a wife. Everyone wants to meet her.

Word Count: 1.7k

Author's Note: Hello! I just finished Attack on Titan for the first time last Thursday April 11th, 2024. I haven't been obsessed with something in a while. Obsessed in the way of reading fanfics and making another tumblr account. I wrote this for fun because AOT reignited the inner teenage fangirl I used to be for One Direction. I hope you enjoy my first AOT fanfic. posted: 4/16/24. Song correlated: "Something About You" by Eyedress & Dent May

Sasha walked past the section commanders and Erwin standing and talking amongst themselves. She could not help but stare as she walked by because you were conversing with Captain Levi. It looked like you were . . . enjoying the conversation. There was Erwin talking to some recognizable leaders then you two off to the side fully facing each other. Sasha has never seen you before. You would giggle and your smile lit up your face. Levi had his arms crossed and his face looked softer. He would nod and indistinctively say something back to you which would just cause you to laugh and smile bigger. He wouldn’t take his eyes off of you. What a new version of Levi. Sasha looked for her table of friends. They needed to see Captain Levi acting like this.

Jean, Connie, Eren, Armin, and Mikasa were looking at Sasha already as if they were waiting to see the expression on Sasha. As she approached the table. She lowered her voice and pointed with her thumb, “You guys seeing this?”

“It’s the Captain’s wife,” Eren said.

“He has a wife!?” Sasha exclaimed louder.

“We were surprised too, everyone’s been trying to eavesdrop on them,” Connie said.

Sasha looked over her shoulder and the rest of the table couldn’t help but glance because how the hell did Levi pull you? And not only that what could you two be talking about? Captain Levi never mentioned being married or even hinted that he had someone at all. Battle plans could not make the pretty girl so giggly so what the hell were they talking about?

“What’s her name?” Sasha asked.

“No one knows,” Mikasa said softly. “Eren thinks she could be a Jenny or a Catherine.”

“Who knew he was married.”

“Possibly to keep her a secret. He would not want the wrong people to know about her.” Armin said.

“I want to meet her,” Eren stated and most of the table agreed. He blushed a little and hoped no one noticed. They all could not take their eyes off of you. “We’re the Levi Squad and we should know our Captain’s wife!”

“We could introduce ourselves as the Levi Squad too so it doesn’t come off as weird that we are all approaching her—them!” Connie added and he started standing up. The table still stayed in their seat. “Are we going?”

“I’m not,” Mikasa said.

“What if he makes us run laps?” Jean asked.

“Why would he make us run laps? Just don’t ask any weird questions and we’ll be fine.” Eren said standing up next.

“Let’s go,” Connie said and the table except for Mikasa stood up. They approached the section commanders who noticed the five of them going towards them. Levi gave them the side eye as they came closer. You turned from Levi, noticed the group, and offered them a smile.

“Good morning, Captain Levi.” Eren started and everyone greeted him with their eyes and then turned to you. Your clothes were cute and styled nicely. Levi noticed every single one of them scanning you head to toe. It was the third? or fourth? group to approach him while talking to you. “Hi we are Levi’s squad, you’re his wife?”

“Yes.” You said smiling at the staring eyes.

“Your shoes are really cute, miss!” Sasha added excitingly.

“This is my wife, Y/N,” Levi said in his low voice. “These scouts are some of the brats in my special operations squad.” You extended your hand to Connie first. He grasped your hand.

“Wow, you have the softest skin.” He said in awed and wide eyes. You furrowed your eyebrow and let out a soft giggle. Levi scolded him.

“It’s very nice to meet you,” You said as you shook each of their hand looking at all of them in the eyes.

“My name is Armin. You seem very nice as well.” Armin smiled.

“Thank you. Really though everyone is very polite here and is very kind.” You smiled and motioned with both hands to the room. Some soldiers Levi talked to maybe only once or twice would approach to talk to you. Some soldiers talked to you before ever even talking to the captain himself.

“We didn’t know Levi had a wife. How long have you two been together?” Sasha asked intensely.

“About . . . “ You looked to Levi and back at the group, “ten years? Coming up on eleven.” You said with warmth on your cheeks. They thought you were not like Levi at all. They thought you were enthusiastic when speaking to others and were like the sun. It did not seem like you would be into Levi at all. Your eyes looked down at Jean and he started blushing because he thought you were glancing at his crotch. “Your pocket watch is so pretty!” You admired the watch nearly falling out of his pocket. Jean yanked it out and thrusted the watch towards you.

“Y-You can have it.”

“Your grandmother gave that to you, Jean!” Connie said grabbing and pulling his wrist back. Eren laughed at Jeans’s blunt stupidity.

“I can get you a nice pocket watch next time I’m in the capital,” Levi said and you smiled.

“You’re so funny. Keep that your grandmother wanted you to have it.” You assured and Jean silently nodded. His only thought currently was you called him funny.

“We’d love to get to know you more Y/N! Are you in the military regiment at all?” Sasha asked, “Where do you live?”

“She’s not going to tell you where we live,” Levi furrowed his eyebrows and Eren burst out laughing. Sasha’s probably going to run laps.

“I can’t be that interesting to you!” You lightly swatted your hand and though it wasn’t a joke, the group couldn’t help but slightly smile. You were interesting to them. Soldiers wanted to talk to you just because of your beauty. “We opened a tea shop years ago and I collect vintage tea sets to sell. I also write books.” You smiled back and their faces lit up.

“You written books?” Connie asked.

“Yes.”

“Anything we might have read?” Eren asked enthusiastically.

“Do any of you actually read?” Levi asked. Let the record be known that the 104th Cadet Corps averaged the lowest academic grade. Most didn’t want to read the textbooks or take notes like they would have to in school.

“Hey be nice, your squad seems smart.” You wrapped an arm around Levi and everyone could not help but stare at the physical touch. You touched him and they never seen another woman touch their captain. “A few short stories for children have been published and distributed to the schools so they would not be interesting for adults to read.”

“You’ve done so much . . . how old are you?” Sasha asked and Armin’s eyes went big.

“Don’t you know it’s rude to ask that!” Levi cut in. She’s going to be running laps until sunset again.

“Y/N! I’m sorry I just mean you’re so accomplished and you’re so beautiful! Your hair is amazing. Levi, I can’t believe you kept her from us.” Sasha said. He rolled his eyes with a slightly softer face. You blushed.

“Thank you, you’re gorgeous as well.” Sasha was elated when you complimented her.

“You’re so beautiful . . .” She unknowingly repeated herself, “What made you drawn to Levi?”

“Sasha!” Connie and Eren pulled her back. Laps until the next morning.

“What?!” You smiled and wrapped your arm around Levi again, giving him a light shake and a squeeze. It was an odd site for the group to see. “Who wouldn’t be into this hilarious and kind gentleman? I feel like I have to fight for his attention sometimes whenever people come talk to us.” Truthfully most people approached you and Levi because of you. Guys would make up a stupid excuse to talk to Captain Levi with the intention of talking to you. Levi knew it too, but he couldn’t help that your energy makes people flock to you. He admired that you made friends where ever you went. Hated when guys would speak to you as if Levi wasn’t there. You blushed while looking at him and when Levi met your eyes his face got softer and he uncrossed his arms and nudged you. Levi looked away to hide his blushed cheeks. Who the fuck is she describing? the group thought. The Captain has never made a joke to them and they wondered what he does for you to call him a gentleman. “Levi! Are you being too hard on them?” You asked playfully and the five of them wanted to shout yes. Suddenly, a woman screaming your name excitedly from across the room could only be from one person.

“Hange! I was wondering when I would see you today!” You turned your attention to Hange running to embrace you in a big hug. You hugged and greeted Moblit with a warm hug afterward.

“Okay okay, you met Y/N run along,” Levi said. You instantly whipped back your attention to the group.

“Excuse me, it was very nice to meet you! Come over for dinner sometime so I can get to know you more! I can make my special braised short-rib beef.” Sasha was ready to duel Levi for you. Your white teeth sparkled to them and your smile radiated through the room. Connie, Sasha, and Jean enthusiastically agreed to your offer.

“If you keep inviting everyone to dinner how are we going to fit people into our house?” Levi asked you.

They walked away in awe of the captain’s wife. Something about you emits a glow in a dull room.

“She’s not like Levi at all . . .” Armin said and Mikasa turned her head to the group heading back to the table. She noticed all of them seemed to be in a good mood.

“He’s probably going to make you run laps for being pushy.” Jean joked to Sasha.

“What did you say, Sasha?” Mikasa asked

“She was just being stupid.” Jean intervened.

“Jean you offered her your grandmother’s pocket watch,” Connie said and Mikasa raised her eyebrows.

“I’d do it again.”

“What was she like? I could see her smiling a lot,” Mikasa said.

“She was positive and really supportive of Levi,” Eren said while reflecting on you. Everything you said was replaying in his head.

“She wrote children's books that are now in the schools,” Armin added.

“Damn it, I wanted to know the names of the books,” Eren said.

“Y/N seemed like someone that Levi needed in his life. She said he was a gentleman which I wasn’t expecting—” Connie started.

“Well, he would treat her the best rather than anyone else,” Jean said. They turned to get another look at you but a few soldiers were blocking their view. Another round of people who wanted to meet you.

masterlist

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dorotheataylor · 2 months

Text

Back to December

Pairing- Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader

Summary- You broke up with him because you thought he deserved someone better than you. But here you stand, outside his door, apologising for that night, after realising you loved him too much to let him go. Based on Back to December (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift.

Warnings- angstttt but fluff at the end, hurt/comfort, no curses!au, swearing (maybe), slight ooc suguru (hes called clumsy hehe), probably my english lol.

Word count- 2.3k (excluding lyrics)

A/N- atp yall just know how much big of a swiftie I am lol. So here’s a new fic based on another taylor song haha. And from now on I will write for JJK fandom too coz i’m obsessed lmao. Let me know if you find any mistakes coz this isn’t proofread and hope y’all enjoy.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

You knocked three times on the door of the house you knew all too well as you picked your nails.

Will he want to see you? Will he shout at you? Will he tell you to get lost? Whatever he does, you knew you deserved it.

You stood outside his door impatiently, nerves getting the best of you while you waited for him to open the door. You could hear things falling down from behind it.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. He was always the clumsy one. One of his things which you missed too much. Your eyes fell on thought of this. Oh how much you wished for a change in your mind back then.

You heard the lock of the door being undone and you started to freak out from inside. Was it a good idea to come here? Maybe. You were about to find out.

“Sorry for the delay. I was caught up-” You heard his voice quiet down when he saw you. God how much you missed his voice. You could listen to his voice every second of the day if possible.

You’ve been good, busier than ever

"Y/N," he breathed, his voice barely above a whisper as he took in your presence on his doorstep, as if he was making sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

The way he said your name, ached your heart. Because it wasn’t filled with love or warmth as before, instead it was more like recognising a stranger.

You took a deep breath before speaking, “long time no see, Suguru.” You smiled slightly.

He couldn’t believe it. He never thought he’d ever see you again after that unfaithful night. The wishes he made to see you every night before he went to bed actually came true. He could actually hear your voice after whole six months. He felt like he was about to cry.

Your guard is up and I know why

All he wanted to do at this moment was to take you in his arms and never let you go again. But he knew he couldn’t. What if you were here to make things even more awful than they already were? He couldn’t handle another heartbreak. So he stood his ground and decided to talk to you in a civil way.

“Come inside. It’ll start s-snowing soon.” He said, mentally cursing himself for stammering as he stepped aside to let you in.

“Thank you.” You muttered before entering his house. The familiar feeling came back to you. The aura and memories of his house, where you had spent countless nights together crashed into your mind like ocean waves. It was overwhelming and you did your best not to burst into tears.

“I’ll bring you something to drink. You can make yourself comfortable till then.” You heard him speak as he quickly walked into the kitchen.

Because the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind

You knew he was doing his best to avoid a more than casual conversation with you. Because the last time you had talked, things turned bitter.

You gave me roses and I left them there to die

You still remembered that day like the back of your hand. He had showed up at your house with roses to surprise you and take you out on a surprise date. And you, being a stupid person, ruined it all.

“Here. I didn’t have anything else except for hot chocolate plus I know how much you love it.” He said handing you the cup filled with hot chocolate, his voice becoming a soft mutter at the last part.

‘He still remembers my likes and dislikes.’ You thought as you smiled softly at him and took the cup, your hands brushing a little. Your cheeks immediately turn red as you tried to hide them, while Suguru thanked the gods that his red cheeks won’t be obvious because it’s winter.

I’d go back to December, turn around and make it all right

But you knew him. You were slightly relieved you still had some effects on him like before. How much you regretted leaving him like that. If only you could go back time and make things right.

You took a sip of your hot chocolate before speaking, “thanks for the hot chocolate, Suguru.”

Geto thought he’d just die right now. The way you said his name, it made him want to forget everything that happened and just hold you into his arms, never letting you go again. But he knew he couldn’t do that.

After some long moments of silence, you decided to break it and said, “how have you been, Suguru?”

“I’ve been- good.” He said with a pause in between. He was lying, but he didn’t want you to know his mental state ever since you had left. “What about you?”

You couldn’t repeat his answer for this question, because you knew it was far from the truth. You couldn’t quite recall the last time you slept peacefully. Maybe it was when you were in Suguru’s arms, safe and loved.

Staying up playing back myself leaving

Your mind replayed memories of that unfaithful night, as if trying to torture you for what you had done. It had started to hurt physically. How much you just wanted apologise and hold him into your arms. But you knew you had lost that right. Why? Because of your stupid insecurities.

You had been in a few relationships in the past apart from Geto. And you were always called out for every little thing you did. Whether it was from the way you ate, or the way you talked, they’d make sure to remind you that you weren’t enough and weird, until they all left you alone. This lead you to believe the same, that you were the problem.

That was until you met Suguru. He was everything you could ask in a man. He was charming, a true gentleman, kind and caring boyfriend who never failed to remind you how much you mean to him.

And I think about Summer, all the beautiful times

You often daydreamed about all your memories from your relationship, from sneaking out at night to late night car drives, from celebrating each other’s birthdays to forgetting plans you’d made with your other friends. Your relationship with him was something you read in books about.

You still remembered the day when you realised that he was the guy you were going to marry someday. You had overheard him talking to Gojo about you. You hadn’t meant to eavesdrop but when he mentioned your name, your ears had perked up. And the way be kept on talking about how amazing you were and how much he loved you, you knew he was the one for you.

Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept right into my mind

But of course you had to ruin it all. The ‘what if’ thoughts came back to you. The thought of losing him because you weren’t good enough for him, scared you. You had told him about your past relationships, and he always reminded you that you are more than enough for him and he loves you with all of his heart.

Fuck your stupid negativity. You tried to believe him, you really did. But your mind wouldn’t let you. So it lead you to the one thing which you knew you were going to regret for the rest of your life. You let him go. And you hated yourself for it.

You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

You still remembered the way his face had immediately fallen the moment you spoke those words. He had tried to reason with you, but you wouldn’t listen. And you had slammed the door shut on his face.

Geto didn’t stop bombarding your phone with countless texts and missed calls for days. But you didn’t reply to any of them. Until one day he stopped. Maybe he realised that he was just wasting time being after you. Maybe he realised that you were the problem after all.

It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you

Wishing I’d realised what I had when you were mine

You thought you had did the right thing but turns out, you didn’t. You had only made things worse for both of you. Because you know what they say, you only realise the value of something when its gone. And it turns out that you had loved him too much. You couldn’t let him go. Because you had realised that he was too precious for you to let go and you couldn’t survive without him.

So here you were, six months later, on his couch, drinking hot chocolate. You slowly came out of your thoughts and said the only thing which came into your mind, “I’m sorry.”

To say Geto was surprised was an understanding. He expected anything but an apology from you tonight. Blame him for being conscious and hurt. He didn’t say anything, giving the cue to continue.

“I’m so sorry, Suguru.” You started, trying your best not to sob, “I know this is probably the last thing you expect from me and won’t believe me but I mean it. I’m really sorry. I’m such a fucked up person, who always makes things worse, ruins perfectly going on lives of people, who always lives in self-doubts.”

“Y/N, I-”, Geto started to say something but you cut him off before he could say it.

“Please let me finish.” Geto nodded in response.

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me so right

And how you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry

“I miss everything about you, about us. I miss how every morning you didn’t fail to wish me ‘good morning’, I miss how you never forgot to check up on me, I miss how you always found a way to make me feel special. I miss how you always held me close to you whenever I didn’t feel like myself. And most of all, I miss the way you used to love me.” You said, tears now falling uncontrollably from your eyes but you don’t care, determined to make things right.

I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t

So you continued, “thing is that I love you, Suguru Geto. And I love you too much to let you go. I made a stupid move by letting you go when all I wanted to do was hold you into my arms. And I hate myself for it. These past six months, I’ve been terrible. There’s not been a single day where I have not wished for myself to be somehow able to go back in time and make things right, stop myself from leaving. But I know I can’t.” You took a deep breath.

So if the chain is on your door I understand

“I know my actions are not something to be easily forgiven, but I promise to do anything to win your trust and love back. I’m willing to change. I’m willing to make things up with you. I swear that if you take me back again, I will love you right and never let you go. Because I have realised my life is nothing if you’re not in it. Please take me back, Suguru. I promise to prove myself worthy of your love.” You couldn’t speak anything after this, sobs continuously escaping your mouth.

Geto stood there, tears in his eyes as well, contemplating what to say. Your apology had caught him off guard, but he knew you had meant every word. He knew that his life was incomplete without you too.

But this is me swallowing my pride

You didn’t hear him speak for a good few minutes, so you take his silence as rejection. Of course he would reject you. You had hurt him, why would he want to get back with someone like you. You let out a shaky breath as a sigh, disappointment for you escaping through it as you stood up.

Standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night

You attempted to smile through your tears. If this was going to be the last time you see him, might as well say goodbye with a smile.

“I got your answer, Suguru. Thank you for giving me best moments of my life. Maybe I didn’t get to have you back, but at least I can live on with your memories. Maybe I-” You didn’t get to finish your sentence as you felt a pair of all too familiar lips on yours, shutting you up.

It turns our freedom ain’t nothing but missing you

You widened your eyes from surprise but immediately shut them as you kissed back, your hands reaching to hug his neck, bringing him closer to you. Suguru wrapped his one arm around your waist and other made its way in your nape, holding you just like he always used to.

Both of you could taste salty tears as you kissed, but weren’t sure who’s they were. All that mattered in that moment was the two of you. You poured all of your love, apprehensions, bottled up feelings for him, regrets into this kiss. He kissed you with same passion. As if your lips were the only thing he needed to survive.

Few moments later, Geto pulled away, foreheads still attached to yours, as he looked into your eyes. “Y/N, in these six months, you made me realise that the only thing which can complete me whole is you. Not getting to tell you these was tearing me apart. I thought I had lost you for good, but then you showed up at my door and all those feelings I had for you doubled. I love all of you, Y/N and I always will. And I’m willing to give us another chance, just promise me that you will talk to me next time you have those negative thoughts.”

Your heart melted hearing his words as you nodded, “I promise.”

Suguru ran his hand through your hair as he spoke again, “and I-I’ll need some time to completely forgive you. I hope you understand that. I’m just scared that you’ll leave me again.”

You quickly shook your head, “I mean it this time, Suguru. I’d never even dream of leaving you. I just got you back. And it’s okay. Take your time. I’m willing to wait for you, even if it is for an eternity.”

Suguru smiled at your words and pulled you into his chest as he swayed you slowly, holding you tightly close to him, and you finally felt complete again. You kissed his neck as you returned his gesture, silently promising him and yourself to never give up on him and let him go ever again.

I’d go back to December all the time

________________________________________

Ahhh I loved writing angst sm but it always breaks my heart if it doesn’t end with fluff. Anyways hope y’all liked this and if you want, you can send in request for JJK characters too!

(I might’ve gotten a little carried away at the end but i think it was worth it lmao)

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu geto #jujutsu sorcerer #geto suguru #jjk geto #geto x reader #getou suguru x reader #geto fluff #geto angst #geto x you #gojo satoru #jjk suguru #jujutsu kaisen suguru #gojo x reader #taylor swift #speak now taylor’s version #back to december #jjk angst

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eyelessfaces · 4 months

Text

I'll be the silence ringing through and through and through

santiago garcia x reader

summary: if santi had it his way, he would be back home, with you, his mouth on your neck or something of that kind– it would have been possible, a few months ago. or in some alternate universe where he hadn’t fucked it all up. in short; santi wants you back.

warnings: mentions of a breakup but no reason is mentioned, alcohol consumption

tags: f!reader, exes to lovers, inevitable angst, fluff

word count: 1.7k

masterlist | taglist | ao3

updates blog: @eyelessupdates

happy new year!!!! randomly dropping a santi fic to start it right hhhh

fic title is from the song "heart to heart" by fiddlehead :)

reblogs and feedback are extremely (I cannot stress this enough) appreciated!!

If Santi had it his way, he would be back home, with you, his mouth on your neck or something of that kind–

It would have been possible, a few months ago.

Or in some alternate universe where he hadn’t fucked it all up, and where he would be holding you by the waist and kissing your cheek instead of having to watch you from afar, scrutinizing every littlest movement of yours while he was slumped in Frankie’s couch, like an hermit, feeling helpless, the neck of his beer being the only thing to kiss his lips tonight.

Maybe it was just the alcohol, maybe everything would seem way less dramatic tomorrow, save for the hangover headache – but no, scratch that, he wasn’t even drunk, just barely tipsy, so no, tomorrow won’t be better.

It must be the sight of you laughing at another man’s joke then, probably.

Was he hitting on you? Was he just a friend, like Benny, Will and Frankie were to you?

He shouldn’t care; that wasn’t his business, that wasn’t his problem. Not anymore. Not that he had been the kind to carefully observe your every movement any time you talked to another man back when you were together. He had never really been of that kind, he trusted you.

Except here, right now, it was his problem. For some reason, it felt like it was, and even more than before, when you were still together.

Because now that you didn’t love him anymore, there was nothing to stop you from doing anything with that man.

Would that man fill the hole Santi had left in your heart? Would he make you happier that Santi ever had?

Probably. He was probably a good man, would be a good boyfriend, wouldn’t fuck everything up. Would probably even marry you, and he’d be damn right to.

“He’s gay” Will snorts, plopping down next to Santi, giving a small pat to his chest. Santi’s gaze finally departs from you to turn to his right, where his friend has settled next to him.

“Good to know, but I‘m not interested in him,” Santi jokes, looking down at his half full beer. Half empty.

“That, I know.” Will cocks his head to the side, a more serious expression over his face as he brings his beer to his mouth. Santi’s gaze darts back to you and that man talking, a sick feeling filling his stomach as he sees you smile and shake your head frantically just the way you used to when he would come up with a shitty joke. “I’m like, eighty three percent sure she’s still in love with you.” Will speaks again, nudging Santi’s knee with his own.

“Seventeen percent of what?” Santi chuckles, more convinced that the rest of that percentage is the most important part.

“Seventeen percent of, you still fucked up, man.” Will says, patting Santi’s knee before getting up from the couch, already. “I’m not good at math dude, but all I can tell you is, it’s worth trying again!” he declares over the music, pointing at Santi before disappearing through the crowd.

Easier said than done.

Santi sighs, bites the inside of his cheek as he runs a hand over his few days old stubble.

He had never had any issue talking to people with ease, but for some reason, the idea of talking to you tonight seemed like the most intimidating thing he ever had to do in his entire life.

But god, did he want to look at you in the eyes again. To have you make that focused frown whenever you were attentively listening to someone. To see the way your lips curled up into a smile when you could pre shot a joke, and the way you still pretended not to know what the punchline was, and still ended up laughing.

Santi smiles to himself, finishes his beer, and when he looks up, you’re not in the crowd anymore. Then Benny joins him when he goes to the kitchen for a refill, and you happen to slip out of his mind for the time being.

—

The air is crisp, compared to the smothering heat inside. It tickles your cheeks, the tip of your ears, it hits every exposed area of skin, the sweat over it now feeling ice cold.

It’s all you needed and wanted, so you shouldn’t complain.

You walk back and forth along Frankie’s porch, the overwhelming feeling of the slight tipsiness and the fast beating of your heart simmering down, and you lean against the wall, taking a deep breath.

You turn at the sound of the door opening beside you, the loud, previously muffled sound of the music now clear, ending up face to face with the one person you did your best to not go talk to all night long.

“Shit, sorry. I’ll go” Santi apologizes, still firmly holding the doorknob, starting to go back inside.

“No, no, it’s alright” you say, inviting him to stay with you. “I didn’t privatize the porch” you joke, giving him an awkward smile.

He chuckles as he tentatively steps outside, closing the door behind him, leaning his back against the wall beside you. Neither of you say a single word for a while, then he looks over at you, and you can feel the weight of his gaze on you. “I assumed you wouldn’t wanna see me.” he finally declares, making you scoff and shrug.

“I actually don’t mind,” you say, looking over at him. He’s now looking ahead, a small pinched smile over his lips. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip before looking back at you.

“I feel like an idiot.”

“Fair enough, you are one.” you immediately sigh, looking away. His gaze is too heavy. “I loved you.” the knot inside your throat tightens only after you pronounce the words, thankfully.

He swallows hard, a shiver running down his spine. It’s not the cold air’s doing. He stares deeply at you, watching you doing your best not to look at him.

“I know.”

The atmosphere hangs heavily as the awkwardness takes over. The silence lingers, punctuated only by the sounds of the night around you.

He pushes himself away from the wall, taking a step closer and turning to look at you, forcing the both of you to truly establish eye contact for the first time tonight.

"I fucked up, I know," he admits, his voice low and filled with remorse. "But I never meant to hurt you." he shakes his head. “Ever.”

You blink, your gaze tearing from his. "You did anyway," you reply, your tone tinged with a mixture of bitterness and sadness. The memories of the pain he caused are still fresh, wounds not fully healed.

He runs a hand over his stubble, a nervous habit you remember all too well. "I know I can't change anything that I did, but I want you to know that I'm sorry."

Your eyes meet his own again, searching for sincerity. "It doesn't fix everything," you say, your guard still up.

He nods understandingly. "I just needed to tell you, and to let you know I haven't stopped thinking about you."

The vulnerability in his gaze begins to chip away at your defenses. Despite the hurt, a part of you softens. "Santi–”

He cuts you off– "I've been thinking, and you know I don’t do it often” he jokes, scoffing. “And I realized how much I lost when I let you go."

A wave of internal conflict washes over you. Your past relationship is a heavy burden you’re carrying, and you’re not sure you should grant him your forgiveness, yet there's a glimmer of something in his eyes that translates his genuine desire for redemption, and there’s some part of you that craves everything you had with him.

“Please,” he starts, his gaze chasing yours as he softly holds onto your wrist. “Please give me a second chance”

His plea hangs in the air, and you can feel the sincerity in his touch. The warmth of his hand on your wrist is a rough contrast to the chill in the night air. You sigh, and look away, torn between the pain of the past and the possibility of a different future. The silence stretches painfully, and you can hear the faint sounds of the night around you – a distant car passing by, the rustle of leaves in the breeze.

A shiver shakes through you, the brown of his eyes seeming deeper than usual, softer as he silently begs for you to say something.

“Second and last chance” you finally declare, refusing to give up on everything you’ve done to try to get over him, yet indulging in everything you’ve ever wanted since you’ve been apart.

He nods silently, his hand leaving your wrist to settle at the juncture between your neck and shoulder. “Okay. Alright. I won’t need another one” he promises confidently, the frown over his face eventually softening. You smile as his thumb gently rubs over your now cold skin.

“Alright, but you gotta kiss me for it to take effect” you tease as you break the tense atmosphere, readjusting your position onto your feet and placing your hands at either side of his neck. His skin is warm, and you feel his muscles contract under your hands when he laughs.

“Good thing I’ve been wanting to do it all night long” he smirks before leaning in and pressing his lips against yours, smiling as you sigh into the kiss. This is it; you feel complete again.

He tastes of booze, and his light stubble slightly stinging when he moves are surprisingly pleasant. Your hand shifts to rest at the back of his neck, feeling his scar here, his own hands pulling you closer at the waist where he squeezes lightly when you run your other hand through his short hair.

You pull away only once it becomes necessary, the lack of oxygen making you all giddy though you’re not sure it’s just it. Santi is still holding you close as he presses his warm lips over your forehead, laughing when a shiver runs through your spine and makes you jolt.

“Alright” he declares as he strips himself of his shirt, pulling it over your shoulders.

“You already pulled this trick on our first date” you scoff, looking over at him. A sly smirk grows over his face as you adjust the jacket over your shoulders.

“...And it worked, didn’t it?”

—

reblogs and feedback are extremely (I cannot stress this enough) appreciated!!

triple frontier taglist: @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @mystinky-butt @anightshift @whatthefishh @alexxavicry @grxywindd @campingwiththecharmings @mintgreen24 @dameronshandholder @spider-starry @jakecockley @cocodiem @spxctorsslxt @luxisluxurious @dowbastan

#santiago garcia #santiago garcia x reader #santiago garcia x you #santiago pope garcia #santiago pope garcia x reader #triple frontier #moon knight #marc spector #steven grant #moon knight x reader #marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #jake lockley #jake lockley x reader #sorry for the tags it's just to reach more people^^#oscar isaac

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thefallennightmare · 5 months

Text

Just Pretend-fourteen

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: Have fun 🪽🍡

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake @bngurngheart

NOAH

My knee bounced with nerves as I sat in the chair in the quiet waiting room, the only noise came from the slow ticking of the clock on the wall opposite of me. I eyed it carefully as the seconds ticked by. My appointment didn’t start for another five minutes. I still had time to walk away from here but the daunting reality of the guys asking how it went today kept me rooted in place. So instead of dwelling on the fear of what’s coming, I typed out a new message on the Hollow Omens group chat.

Me: The new song premieres on Octane tomorrow night. Eight pm!

Malcolm: Oh shiit

Jolly: let’s fucking go! We’re excited for you guys to hear it.

Angel 🪽: excitement is so mother fucking real. I’m sad I’ll still be in Japan so I’ll have to figure out what time that would be here! I want to listen to it live.

My stomach dropped as all the wind got knocked out of me, the realization that Y/N would hear the song. The one I wrote about her in my haste of anger. Would she know it? What would she think?

Y/N had another week in Japan and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss her like fucking crazy. She’d already been gone a week so another seven days without her close to me made my heart stutter. I’d been taking care of Salem for her and the scent of her in her bedroom didn’t help the ache in my heart and stomach. I miss the way she smelled so when I noticed her perfume on her vanity; I spritzed the sweater I wore that day a couple of times, so it felt like she was close.

We kept our 2:30 FaceTime call every day since she left, even if it only lasted a few minutes. Just the occasional check-up on how things were going on each of our ends before she had to go, her dad having something planned for them. I called her every morning at 7:30, except this morning since I overslept. I was furious with myself but kept my cool as I sent her a text, letting her know I’d call her at 2:30 my time.

Angel 🪽: I’ll be in bed so don’t make fun of my bedhead.

Me: You’ll still look beautiful.

The corner of my lip turned up when I remembered the selfie I sent her the other day of Salem and I lounging on the floor of her bedroom.

Angel 🪽: oh, my baby! I miss you so much.

Angel 🪽: Oh, you too mochi!

Me: ouch, I’m hurt, angel.

Angel 🪽: I’ll make it up to you when you take me out for dinner. We can go half and half on an appetizer.

Me: For you? I’ll cover the whole bill while you order whatever you want.

Two days ago, Chase and Malcolm returned home so there was no need for me to check on Salem anymore. We expected Y/N to come back with them but she stayed longer for more one-on-one time with her dad.

“Noah?”

Snapping my eyes up to the petite voice, I nodded towards the older lady who stood at the open doorway of the office.

“I’m ready whenever you are,” she stepped to the side, allowing more space for me to walk inside.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek as my eyes cast towards the other door; the one that led outside where my car was parked.

“I hate to tell you this but even if you leave right now, I’ll still get paid,” the doctor joked with a small smile.

I hummed while slowly rising to my feet and walking past her into the office, the words on the door barely catching my attention. “Might as well get this over with.”

Dr. Poulos. Therapist.

NOAH

“Are you concerned she’ll be upset by what you’ve written?” Dr. Polous wondered while writing something down in the book on her lap.

I shrugged while chipping away the black nail polish on my fingernails. “Maybe.”

“Hm, I’m sensing you are.”

For the last twenty minutes, I told the therapist everything about my life; from the past till now. At first, I was apprehensive but knowing this was something I needed, I gave in.

“It doesn't matter. What happened is in the past. We’ve moved on.”

“Why are you using the past tense, Noah? She’s in your life. You’re starting over again, and trying things from a different approach.” Dr. Poulos steepled her fingers together.

“Yeah, I know,” I nodded

She hummed while sitting there to analyze me with her blue eyes, a slight pull on her thin lips.

“Y/N’S on a vacation, right?”

When I nodded, she continued. “Why don’t you take one as well? It might be good for you.”

I shifted on my spot on the couch, eyes darting over to the plant she had on the left side of her dresser. A bit fuzzy because of the connection between phone lines.

“I don’t need a vacation, that’s not what I do- I work. I have too much to do, so much shit to handle. Everything would fall apart if I didn’t,” I admitted. “It keeps my mind focused on what it needs to be focused on.”

Dr. Poulos raised a brow. “What shouldn’t you be focusing on?”

“I hate how much of my mind gets fucking distracted by her. It’s fuckin pathetic, all I see is a life I doubt we’ll ever have. Everything will be taken from me, I’m used to that by now,” I sighed while running a hand over my face.

“Your need to control everything is leaving you vulnerable to the parts of your life you can’t control. It makes you feel uncomfortable not being able to read her feelings, and control the situation, doesn’t it?”

My eyes snapped up from the floor, shoulders rigid with anger. “What do you think? I’ve never known the feeling of a stable home. There were so many years of my life living out of backpacks and on the road. I have these panic attacks, something she hasn’t seen, she doesn’t know about my darkness. She’ll never come back to me if she sees that.”

Dr. Poulos sighed while closing her notebook to set it on the table in between us. “You don’t know that, Noah. Unless you talk to her, you don’t know what she’ll think. Your issue with communication and feelings is, I think, causing a barrier between the two of you. You would rather live in your fantasies than risk giving up control. You wanted to give up control, even for a moment, and run. Are you upset you didn’t?”

I rubbed at my chin while adjusting my position on the worn leather couch. I didn’t know how to answer that so it took a few long beats of silence for me to find the right words.

“Fantasies don’t include repercussions. We were safe in our expressive, well-appointed studios, locked up with our rages and rebellions. I just want things to go the way they’re supposed to, the way I need them to. There’s no life without my band, my work, without her.”

Dr. Poulos smiled. “You don’t need to run from those feelings Noah, I think you need to start by opening up and letting yourself be truly honest. From the get-go, you’re only making yourself crazy running in circles, pushing your own limits.”

I couldn't help but snicker. “Are you sure you haven’t listened to my band before?”

She simply smirked while pulling out her schedule book.

“I’ll see what I can do,” I said, going back to her previous statement.

“It won’t be easy Noah, but I think we can start from here. What days work best for you?”

I mentally went through my schedule. “Wednesdays are fine. Just not at 2:30. I have another appointment I can't miss.”

NOAH

Music played from the speakers, bass pounding against the walls of the house, as I sat with Jolly and Michael on either side of me on the couch. It was still early in the afternoon so we hung out at the house. Jesse and Orie were cooking something on the grill while the three of us were browsing on our phones. My eyes were glued straight down at mine, my heart hammering throughout my body as my breath was still caught in my throat. My cock twitched lightly in my pants but I was frozen to adjust myself discreetly.

“How sweet does Y/N look in this photo?” Michael said while showing his phone to Jolly, who agreed with a small smile.

“Looks like she’s having fun. Noah, did you see it?”

I’d been staring at it for 5 minutes. Everything about it was beautiful. She was truly just as ethereal, as I said she was.

“I wonder if her caption is for a song,” Michael continued to analyze the picture, a little too long for my liking.

Realizing I didn’t even read the caption, I peered down and read it; my head tilted in confusion.

Fuck this wondering. Fuck this trying and trying. Fuck this belief that two people can become one ideal. Fuck this helplessness. Fuck this waiting for something to happen that probably won’t ever happen.

I knew it wasn’t good enough, no matter what I did, or how much I attempted to show her I was the man she needed. She didn’t want to feel trapped under someone’s gaze. Well, okay then.

Tossing my phone on the couch, I got up in a huff, irritated, walked to the kitchen, and slammed the cabinets as I looked for a glass.

“What’s the matter now?” Jolly asked with a sigh.

“Nothing,” I said while pouring myself some orange juice, slamming the fridge after putting the jug back.

“Who the fuck is slamming shit?” Jesse wondered while walking back inside with a platter of burgers and brats and setting it on the kitchen counter.

“Dude, it’s nothing.” I sucked in a breath, trying to keep my anger in check.

“Your actions beseech you, my friend, why are you mad?” Orie said now standing next to Jesse.

I shrugged while crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m just done,”

“Done with what?”

“Y/N feels trapped, Jolly! I knew she’d never fall back in with me. I knew it. She probably met some Japanese dude who can give her real ramen and is having the time of her fucking life. Maybe that’s why she hasn’t come home yet.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Jesse pinched his eyes in annoyance. “Noah, it’s not that deep. Nowhere in her post does it say that or imply that she’s seeing another man. Y/N is with her dad.”

“All I’m saying is she doesn’t need to be trapped under my gaze anymore, she can do whatever the fuck she wants,” I grumbled while sitting on top of the kitchen counter, legs dangling off the edge.

“You’re so dramatic. You can literally just ask to FaceTime her you know, talk this shit out like rational adults,” Orie said.

“No,” my voice was firm while my heart said something else.

It was almost 2 in the afternoon, which meant our daily FaceTime call would happen soon. Should I bring up the post to Y/N? Or just ignore it like we did every other elephant in the room.

“Good, good hide your feelings. Don't actually share them- see where that gets you.” Jolly shook his head in defeat then rose to his feet.

“We’re writing a record, aren’t we?” I shot back.

“Yeah that don’t mean-”

“Wait, sit down jolly. I just thought of another track. We need to write this down.”

With a reluctant sigh, Jolly pulled out his phone to type as I sang softly the melody that was buzzing in my brain.

“I asked for more than I could take with nothing left to give. So who, who, who, who are you, you? Who, who, who are you? Every day it’s all the same. I don’t wanna play your games. If you wanna know, it depends on who’s asking. Who, who are you?”

“You really are a head case you know,” Michael says before retreating up the stairs to his room.

“Good, don’t care!” I called back before jumping off the counter. “Shit, we need a new amp tuner! I’m going to head to the record store and get a new one.”

“You can use mine,” Jesse said with a mouth full of cheeseburger.

This mother fucker is always munching on something.

“No, it’s fine, I need to clear my head, anyway. I’ll be back soon.”

NOAH

I held my phone in my hand, the constant ringing as I walked towards the record store irritating my already on-edge attitude. It was 2:35 and the second time I tried calling Y/N with no answer. I tried to tell myself that she even said she would miss a few calls, but she hasn’t yet. A week away and we still made our 2:30 FaceTime calls.

Something still didn’t add up.

With an agitated groan, I stuffed my phone back into my pocket while I hummed a new tune to myself, the words rolling off my tongue with ease.

“You’re too good to be true, yeah I gotta go, gotta run You don’t want me the way I want you, no. You walked too close to the rails; I picked you up when you fell.”

As I walked into the record store, a loud bell sounded my presence, and a brunette lifted her head from the front desk to give me a small smile. “Hi, welcome in.”

Her eyes shined as her face twitched, the typical holy shit, I know that person's face that I always recognized when I went out in public.

“Hi,” I waved before walking over to the front desk, her eyes getting larger the closer I got. “How are you?”

“Go-good,” she stood straighter. “I’m sorry, I’m a little star-struck right now.”

I chuckled. “You’re fine. How long have you been a fan?”

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “For the last few months. I saw you guys play with Hollow Souls this last tour.”

My face twitched at the mention of Y/N’s band but kept my composure.

“You know, Y/N’s a huge inspiration for me. Just how she dealt with everything with Trey. It’s amazing how she overcame that relationship.”

I went stiff but slack at the same time. “How do you know about that?”

The girl shrugged. “It’s all over the internet. Reddit has some pretty insane stories about the breakup. Some say Trey was cheating with underage girls while some say she cheated on him but I don’t believe that. She’s not that kind of person.”

“Um,” I rubbed at my chin, desperate to change the subject. “Can you show me where your tuners are?”

She nodded and motioned for me to follow her to the back of the store. We spent the next few minutes talking about the different kinds they had, even though I was familiar with it all, but having a conversation with someone who didn’t judge me or my actions was nice. For the first time in a long time, Y/N was at the back of my mind.

“So,” I peered down at the nametag on her shirt. “Bailey.”

Her cheeks reddened as her lips curled up. “I’d never thought I’d hear Noah Sebastian say my name.”

I chuckled, enjoying how easy it was to talk to her. “What’s your favorite song of ours?”

“It’s not a song but more so a verse off your self-entitled album; My pretty little face with all the right parts. My pretty little face I couldn’t keep from the dark, I learned from the best as my sorrows grew. And then they pulled me out after I introduced them to you.”

“You liked that?,” I asked, almost astonished.

Bailey smiled as she stared up at me, a soft expression on her face.“Yeah, it was deep, like you said you’re perfect on the surface but deep inside you’re flawed, like anyone else. But didn’t notice until the person who hurt you pulled them out.”

When my eyes widened, she quickly stammered over her words.“I’m sorry if that was a wrong assumption, it’s just how I saw it.”

“No, no,” I spoke quickly while running a hand through my hair. “That’s-that’s pretty close. I’m glad it has meaning to you, in that way. That’s special.”

“A lot of your lyrics make me feel that way,” she admitted sheepishly.

“Well, I hope the next record does the same.”

Bailey's brows raised to her hairline. “You’re already working on the next one?”

“Most of it is in the early stages. We’re about to release our first single tomorrow night; octane at eight. Make sure you’re ready.”

“There’s no such thing as ready,” she says. “There’s only willing.”

My jaw went slack for a few seconds until I let out a low cough to make my feelings. Her words had a different meaning than what I was thinking but it still sat deep low in my stomach; the comment kept replaying in my mind.

“What are you doing later?” I blurted before I could stop myself.

“Later?” Bailey raised a brow.

“Yeah, maybe grab some food and talk?”

“I don’t know,” she shifted on her feet to tuck another piece of hair behind her ear.

It was a simple action that reminded me of Y/N. Except it was something that made my heart flutter when she did it. With Bailey, nothing. My heart rate was slow, almost even, and there were none of those butterflies there.

“Are you- are you sure?”

Bailey’s voice brought me away from thoughts of Y/N and how she didn’t answer my call or any of the texts I sent her earlier.

I shrugged. “Well, I asked you, didn’t I?”

NOAH

Walking through the front door, guilt weighed down my heart. Jolly and Jesse were sitting on the couch watching a movie and they raised brows at me.

“You’re back late,” Jolly noted.

“Yeah, I uh- I went out with a girl tonight.” I stopped at the first step, hand gripping the railing.

“I’m sorry?” Jesse nearly dropped the bowl of popcorn. “Who?”

I sighed while turning more towards them while on the stairs. “The cashier at the record shop was nice, and we hung out. We went to Applebee’s and went half and half on an appetizer.”

“Wait- what about Y/N?” Jolly asked.

I snickered, eyes narrowing. “Y/N won’t mind, trust me.”

Anger still pooled low in my stomach because before walking into the house, I sent another text to Y/N to ask how everything was going.

Nothing.

Silence.

Kept me on read.

Message loud and fucking clear, angel.

“Noah, do you not remember what we discussed in the kitchen this morning?” Jolly said, raising his voice a bit, unusual for him. “What the hell, dude?”

Jesse tossed a handful of popcorn in his mouth. “You can’t tell a girl you’ll wait for her then go out with someone else.”

“It’s nothing serious,” I scratched my face. “I hung out with this girl. That’s all.”

“Noah-,” Jolly started.

I motioned upstairs, ready to change the subject. “Hey, Chase and Malcolm want to play Fallout. Are you in?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he sighed.

MALCOLM

“Hey, sweets. How are you feeling?” Chase asked into the phone that lay between us on our bed.

“I’m alright,” Y/N’s tired voice came through the speaker. “I spent the entire day sleeping. My dad had a full day planned for our last day together but I couldn’t get out of bed. I feel like shit.”

I gave a small smile even though she couldn’t see. “He understands, Y/N. Your dad isn’t going to be upset.”

There was a long beat of silence. “Before he dropped me off at the airport, we had a heart-to-heart today. About everything, about Noah.”

I shared a look with Chase. “What about Noah?”

“I’m ready, guys. Noah’s been so patient with waiting for me to go through these feelings and trauma. I thought being with him would deter me from healing but he’s actually what I need to heal.”

“You sure, buttercup? Don’t take this the wrong way, we’re happy that you’re finally at a good place mentally and that you want to jump into this with Noah. But we want to make sure that you’re sure.”

“It’s Noah,” there wasn’t a hint of hesitation in her voice. “I’d never been more sure about anything like this before.”

Chase smiled a little as we linked our hands together. Both of us were so proud of how far Y/N came within the last few months. When she first moved in with us, there was a dark point in all our lives we didn’t know if she would make it past the pain of what she did to Noah; even though it wasn’t completely her fault.

“We’re proud of you, Y/N,” Chase said.

“I love you guys. I feel like I don’t say that enough. Every single bad thing in my life, the two of you have been by my side.”

We could hear the tears in her voice.

“We love you too, sweets.”

We chatted for a few more minutes, making plans for when she returned to the States before her flight home was called. We weren’t able to pick her up when her flight landed so we dropped her car off earlier at the airport so she could drive herself back.

As soon as we hung up, a noise came from my computer, an invitation on Twitch.

“You sure you don’t want to play with us?” I asked Chase while I set up at my desk.

Chase nodded. “I’m fine with watching you play.”

“What’s up, fuckers,” I snorted into my microphone as I loaded up into the game with Noah.

Jolly was there as well but only Noah was listening to me.

“Hey guys.”

I glanced over to Chase when we heard the somber voice of Noah.

“What’s wrong with you, Sebastian?” Chase asked.

“It’s been a long day,” he sighed.

For the next half hour, I played with Noah and Jolly, with Chase watching, and we all joked about random shit but Noah was quiet for most of the time. Something was off with him and as the last match ended, I was ready to get off the game until Noah’s words gave us pause.

“I went out on a date tonight.”

Chase stiffened next to me as I fell back to my chair with my heart-stopping. “I know I’m colorblind but I’m not deaf. What did you just say?”

“No, you’re not,” Chase playfully smacked my chest.

Noah let out a deep breath. “I’m seeing somebody- I can’t, I - she doesn’t want me how I want her.”

Although he never said her name, we knew exactly who he was walking about.

“That’s not true, Noah, you know it’s not. She does. She’s just-.” I said.

“Look, please don’t start this shit right now. I just need to attempt to move on, at least.”

I quickly put my microphone on my mute and then turned my chair towards Chase.

“What the fuck?” I said with an exasperated breath.

“I don’t understand, this isn’t making sense,” He ran a hand over his buzzed head, something he always did when something bothered him. “Should we tell him about her dad and the song?”

“No, 'cause she’ll be pissed.”

“You don’t think she’ll be more mad now? Noah went on a fucking date tonight,” Chase seethed.

I pushed my auburn curls away from my face. “Man, I don’t know. It almost feels like it’s not our place to get involved but it’s-.”

“Y/N,” Chase finished my sentence.

“We need to give her a heads up, just end this tension bullshit. They have to talk,” I sighed.

“She can’t get upset,” Noah’s voice brought us back to the conversation, and I unmuted my microphone.

“Who can’t get upset?” I asked.

“Y/N, she can’t get upset. She ignored me all day after that post on Instagram.”

Chase scoffed. “What the fuck, dude. What does that have to do with you going on a date?”

“I tried to call her, it was 2:30! No answer.”

The way that Noah was speaking clarified that there were underlying feelings behind his actions but of course, wouldn’t tell anyone about it.

“You want to fucking know why she didn’t call you?” Chase sat forward, elbows on his knees and veins in his neck twitching. “News flash, Noah, the world just doesn’t stop when you don’t get attention.”

“Excuse me?”

I could see the darkness take over Chase’s usual bright eyes and knew what he was about to say. I shook my head. “Chase no, it’s not-.”

“No, fuck this soap opera shit. Y/N passed out at 2:30, she has been all fucking day. She was in pain you, idiot.”

A long beat of silence. “What do you mean?”

“Chase-,” I tried again.

This wasn't our business to tell. This should have been something Y/N and Noah talked about privately.

Chase ignored me as his knee bounced with anger. “No, I’m tired of this nonsense. Y/N has endometriosis you ass!”

More silence, only this time you could hear the background noise coming from Noah’s mic clear as day; voices.

“Wait-she told me she deals with something that takes a lot out of her every month. That’s it?”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Stage Three. It’s a disease in which tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside of the uterus. Every month when she has her period, the pain is worse than normal because of this. Hence today all she did was sleep. She wasn’t ignoring you, Noah. She was just asleep.”

“It's serious. She’s been dealing with this for years and she’ll continue to deal with it for the rest of her life,” Chase said.

“If it wasn’t for the surgery, it could have been worse,” I informed next.

“Wait, what surgery? When?,” Noah asked with pure confusion in his voice.

Chase bit the inside of his cheek. “It was a few years ago before Hollow Souls took off. It’s called a laparoscopy.”

“She had a what? I don’t know what the fuck that is?”

I repeated the word for Noah but his agitation was clear in his next words.

“A lapara-parascopy”

“Bro, sound it out, lapar-o-scopy,” Chase gave a light chuckle, given how tense the conversation got.

“Yeah still don’t know what the fuck that is, is she alright? Is she-.”

Chase and I shared a look, knowing there’s a lot more we can go on about this but also knowing that we’ve said all we could say.

“Like Malcolm said, Endometriosis comes with pain and inflammation, and she can pass out from the pain. Y/N gets sick a lot-you have to do your own research on this, Noah. But you also need to know, it’s not all about you,” Chase said with a shake of his head.

“Why can’t she just tell me that?”

“She wants to, trust us. We know-.”

Noah’s voice cut me off. “I know you know her, but you don’t know what feelings she has. I can’t keep falling for this every time.”

“Noah. come on you’re so stubborn! What happened to waiting?” I shot back with an edge to my voice.

I rarely ever lost my patience but right now with how stubborn Noah was being, I couldn’t help but scoff.

“Never said I wasn’t, but I need to move forward too until she speaks to me herself about this. What else can I do?”

“Noah, she loves you, man. She fucking loves you.”

“If that’s true she would tell me, Malcolm, this shit fucking hurts enough. I’ve got to go, I’ll talk to you guys later.”

Before we could even say goodbye, Noah exited our chat that we used to play video games, leaving just the buzz of dead air playing back on my speakers.

NOAH

Stage 3 of endometriosis is considered moderate.

Endometriosis itself is not a fatal condition. However, experts associate endometriosis with some potentially life-threatening conditions, such as ectopic pregnancy and depression.

There are two types of endometriosis surgery: excision and ablation. Both are laparoscopic, meaning the surgeon makes tiny holes in the patient’s skin and can enter through those holes to perform the surgery, rather than needing to make large incisions. Ablation uses heat to destroy tissue, while excision uses heat to remove it. Ablation can only remove tissue on the surface, while excision can dig deeper to remove all of it.

“Oh Angel baby,” I sighed while dropping my pen on the piece of paper I’d been writing on for the last thirty minutes.

With both hands dragging down my face, I let out another deep sigh before scrolling through another article.

The most common symptom of endometriosis is pelvic and lower back pain, especially during the menstrual period. Rather than the cramping that many women experience during their periods, women with endometriosis often experience severe pain that can be difficult to manage. Other symptoms include pain during intercourse, pain with urination or bowel movements, heavy bleeding during periods, bleeding between periods, fatigue, and infertility.

A small gasp left my lips when I remembered back to that night we shared. The pained expression as I hovered over her until we switched positions then the blood on the condom.

Fuck, infertility. That’s why she freaked when I mentioned a family.

Deciding I had enough research for one night, I called out for Jolly and Jesse.

“Everything alright?” Jesse asked a moment later, followed by Jolly.

The two of them sat on the edge of my bed while I continued to sit on my computer chair, slowly rocking back and forth.

“I-um-I just found out something about Y/N. Might explain why she left that night,” I said while handing them the notepad of paper that I was using for my notes.

Both of them read through it, Jesse sucking in a breath while Jolly let his shoulders fall and took a deep breath.

“Shit,” Jesse said.

Jolly, however, gave me a look. One I knew all too well.

“You fucking knew,” I accused while leaning forward in my chair.

“Not what she was going through. Nick wanted to tell me but-.”

“Wait,” I shook my head in disbelief. “Nick knew?”

I didn’t give Jolly time to explain because I quickly dialed Nick’s number and put the call on speaker while it rang.

“Yellow?” Nick answered on the third ring.

I rolled my eyes. “First of all, don’t answer the phone like that. You know I hate it.”

“Exactly why I do it. What's up?”

“You knew, I fucking know you knew,” I seethed.

There was a very long moment of silence from Nick’s end before a tired breath sounded. “Noah-.”

“No! Why did you fucking help them lie to me? You had me believing I did some shit for months! You all knew what her issue was and you just let me sit here in the dark over it?”

I rose from my chair and paced my room as the anger intensified. For months, they made me think I was the problem; it was my fault that Y/N walked away.

“It wasn’t our place to bring it up, Noah,” Jolly said.

“Y/N should have just been honest upfront about it,” Nick spoke next.

“Clearly she was scared! Read this shit!,” I pointed to the notepad. “She goes through that every month. And not one of you told me. I could have faced her anger later. Fuck, man.”

A shaky breath fell from my lips as I ran a hand over my chin, trying to control the way my heart raced and pulse quickened.

“It’s not too late, Noah,” Jesse reminded me.

“It is because I certainly don’t know how she feels; not now,” I said reminding them about the Instagram post this morning.

Jolly pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “Not this again. It was a post, Noah!”

“Whatever, I’m not dealing with this right now, just know I fucking know you knew and it’s irritating,” I told Nick on the phone.

“But now that you know, does it change how you feel?”

As I opened my mouth to answer, the phone buzzed in my hand and my heart rate now doubled, thinking it was Y/N.

Unknown: had an awesome time with you! 💕 so glad we’re trying this.

Fuck.

My heart sank to the depths of my insides realizing that the text message wasn’t from Y/N.

“It doesn’t matter now,” I answered Nick’s question with a defeated sigh.

CHASE

Malcolm paced the entire length of our bedroom with his hands on his hips. His auburn hair fell around his shoulders in curly waves and if it was any other situation, I would marvel at how gorgeous he looked.

“Mal, you need to calm down. You’re going to burn a hole in the floor,” I tried to reach for his hand but he sped past me.

His emerald eyes burned. “He’s dating someone. Can you believe that? After all that bullshit about waiting for her. The second she’s ready, he moves on?”

“We don’t know that they’re dating. Noah said they went out on one date, it doesn’t mean anything.”

Malcolm sighed before falling onto the bed next to me. It was nearing eight in the evening. Y/N’s flight would land any minute and we were patiently waiting for her to return home.

“Are we going to listen to their song?” Malcolm asked.

I rubbed his knee. “They’re still our friends, Mal. We need to support them.”

Eventually, he nodded before resting his hand over mine. “We need to warn, Y/N. I don’t want her to be blindsided by this news or find out about it from someone else.”

I agreed and pulled out my phone, quickly typing a message out to Y/N.

Chase: sweets, we need to talk to you. Call us when you can.

Sweets: I have pretty shitty service where I’m at. What’s up?

Malcolm and I shared a look, neither of us wanting to tell her over text but knew that it would be better if she found out from one of us. The words almost burned on my fingers as I typed them.

Chase: Noah went out on a date. He’s seeing someone.

Read 9:30 pm.

Chase: sweets??

Read 9:43 pm.

After almost twenty-five minutes with no response from Y/N, I tried calling her twice which only went straight to voicemail. Malcolm pulled out his phone so he could pull up her location. The three of us always shared our location, in cases of times like this.

“Fuck,” he cursed.

“What?” I asked, heart pounding hard against my chest as I peered over his shoulder to look at his phone.

Immediately, we recognized where Y/N was; her avatar on the map unmoving and staying in the same spot for the last half an hour.

Chase: Y/N, please let me know you’re okay.

“What do you think she’s doing there?” I asked.

Malcolm rested his head in his hands. “I don’t know, babe. But whatever the reason, shit’s changed now. It can’t be good.”

We sat in silence for another long few minutes, my hand rubbing soothing circles on Malcolm’s back in a way to keep him calm. I was about ready to text Jolly when Malcolm’s phone rang.

“Buttercup, where are you?” He rushed out once he saw the caller ID.

There was silence on the other end until a broken, destroyed voice sobbed into the phone.

“I fucked up, guys.”

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

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taytrashmouth · 10 months

Text

The summer I’ve waited for

Jeremiah fisher x female reader

TW: drinking, swearing.

Description: you’ve been friends with Jeremiah forever, back in Boston you are inseparable, what happens when he invites you to cousins this summer

———————————————————————

You met Jeremiah at school when you were 12, he’s always been funny and kind, he was nice to you when no one else was.

You were best friends since the first moment you met, the only thing that sucked was that he was never around for summer.

But this year, at 16 he invited you with, Susannah was so happy you were coming with, Belly would have a girlfriend and she loved you like her own.

The drive down to cousins was long, Conrad drove, Susannah scrolled through her phone in the passengers seat while you sat in the back with Jeremiah.

Your leg was bouncing up and down rapidly, what if it was awkward, what if belly didn’t like you, what if you ruined the perfect summers Jeremiah spoke of so often-

Your thoughts were broken when jere put his hand on your bouncing leg.

“Hey what’s wrong?” He frowned.

“Just nervous.” You shook your head.

“It’ll be so fun having you around, and I already know belly will love you, besides you’ll have me by your side, you’re stuck with me for three whole months.”

You couldn’t help but smile, he had no idea how much you liked him, he was the only boy you’d liked for 5 years. Spending 3 months with him sounded like heaven.

When you arrived Jeremiah showed you your room, right across from his. The house was gorgeous and the sound of the waves was magical.

You sat outside by the pool looking out at the ocean once you’d unpacked. Absolutely mesmerized.

It wasn’t until you saw Conrad, Jeremiah and Steven (you’d seen him in photos) throwing belly into the pool while she kicked and screamed.

“You guys that wasn’t funny.” Belly spoke.

“Yeah guys not cool.” You walked behind both Conrad and Jeremiah, hands around their waists. As they both turned to look at you, you pushed as hard as you could pushing them both in too.

They both yelled and you and belly laughed.

“I love her!” Belly laughed and smiled at Jeremiah, gesturing to you.

“Yeah me too.” He smiled subtly and looked down at the water, making you blush.

It was a few days later that you sat at the kitchen island waiting to watch a movie with belly and the moms that belly said something that surprised you.

“You know I’m so happy i finally got to meet you cause you’re like really cool, and because jere talks about you non-stop, he thinks you’re so smart and he tells us all these stories about you being like the coolest person.” Belly rambled.

“All good things I hope.” You chuckled, blushing slightly. “ I’m sure he doesn’t talk about me that much.”

“No there was a point I wanted to be you, and I hadn’t even seen your photo- I was like 12 but still”

You both giggled.

Summer went on, you went to parties with jere and he taught you how to play beer pong, you both sang karaoke at this tiki bar on Saturdays, he showed you all of his favorite spots in cousins. Late night drives and long walks on the beach.

Everything was perfect except you couldn’t help but feel that he loved belly…..and it hurt.

But there were moments where you allowed yourself to dream, to feel as though he liked you back.

The night by the pool when lover came on the speaker and you smiled at the sound of your favorite song.

“Let’s dance.” Jeremiah spoke. You looked up at him as he stood up and held out his hand. “You need to practice anyway.” Referring to the deb ball, belly begged you to do it with her.

You didn’t know how the hell to find a date, you only liked, and wanted one guy.

You smiled and gave him your hand. He pulled you up and held your waist. You wrapped your arms around his neck and you began to sway. He spun you around slowly once or twice but soon it was just the two of you in this moment, looking into each others eyes.

“You’re a good dancer.” You whispered.

“I have a good partner.” He smiled, both of your cheeks burning.

Then there was the day you tried on your debutante dress, you looked in your bedroom mirror, only seeing the parts of yourself you hated.

That’s when Jere barged in with a smile, rambling about something Steven just did, but when you turned around he stopped dead.

“Holy shit…” he let out.

“I know-“ your voice was laced with insecurities but he didn’t let you fished before moving closer and making you spin around.

“You’re perfect.” He smiled and held your cheeks, you leaned into his touch wishing this moment would last.

Tears filled your eyes, he was healing all your wounds, damage he didn’t even cause.

“Thank you.” You smiled back.

When Taylor came out for belly’s birthday she bought belly a purple swimsuit, she had a pink one and she had bought you a dark blue one, because she knew belly liked you, and wanted you to be included.

You were insecure, people at school had bullied you your whole life, your weight fluctuated a lot and you weren’t exactly comfortable in a bikini.

When you didn’t go down to the pool after about 20mins jere came to look for you…

He found you in your bathroom, looking at yourself in the mirror in your new bikini with tears running down your cheeks

“Hey hey hey, what’s wrong?” He asked with a frown, immediately pulled you into his chest.

You hugged him tightly and he stroked your hair.

“I hate it.” You chocked.

“What? What do you hate?” He held your shoulders looking at your face now.

“Me, they way I look, fuck, I look like a whale compared to them.”

Jeremiah almost laughed.

“Them? Belly and taylor?”

“Yeah and like every other girl at this stupid beach.” You cried more, but he wiped away the tears that fell.

“Turn around.” He smiled, you grumpily spun.

“Exactly what I thought, no sign of a whale…and y/n….you’re hot, don’t tell belly or Taylor I said this but you’re like way hotter than them.” He exclaimed.

You chocked a laugh.

“Really?” You frowned again.

“Definitely.” He hugged you again, and made jokes as you washed your face before following him back to the pool.

“I found her!!! She was trying to make sure she was still hotter than all of us.” He joked as you walked out the doors to the pool.

Taylor smiled, “I knew that bikini was your color, it’s literally so hot.” Belly nodded in agreement.

Steven gawked at you as you climbed into the pool and belly hit him on the head.

It wasn’t until you were walking along the beach as the sun set, a week till the deb ball and still you had no date.

“Hey!” Jeremiah called as he ran down the beach to catch up.

“Hey.” You smiled back.

You talked about a lot of things as the sun began to set.

“Still no date?” He asked.

You shook your head,

“Seriously? I don’t believe no one’s asked you.” He spoke as if you were the most precious thing that any guy would want.

You shook your head again, a few guys had asked, but you didn’t really want to go with them. So you told them no.

You continued to talk about the ball.

“Mom told Conrad to ask Belly, but I think she’ll be pissed if she finds out he didn’t actually want to ask her you know?” He spoke.

“Yeah, I’d be pissed if that happened to me.”

“That’s why I swore off these things, drama creating nonsense, I’d only make an exception for this one girl-“ he spoke slowly but you cut him off.

“Yeah, it sucks that Conrad’s taking her-“

“What?” He stopped walking.

“You like belly….don’t you?” You frowned.

He scoffed and looked off to the side.

“You’re really really dumb for someone with straight A’s, you know that?” He asked.

You frowned even more.

“I’d make an exception for you n/n….”

Your whole world stopped for a minute, looking into his ocean eyes.

“I’m just waiting for you to ask me……” he looked at his feet.

“I didn’t ask because I needed to know you wanted this, I couldn’t do it because i could never forgive myself if I screwed this up, us…” he looked back up at you.

Your heart was pounding, your head was exploding and your stomach erupted with butterflies.

“Will you go to the ball with me Jere?” You smiled.

He sighed with relief and smiled the biggest you e ever seen.

“Fuck yes!!!!” He wrapped his arms around you and spun you in the air before putting you down.

You laughed, feeling on top of the world.

“You sure about this?” He asked looking down at you.

“It’s been five years of crushing, I’m sure.” You joked.

“Good because I really want to kiss you.” He smiled.

He leaned in and your lips met, it was like two pieces of a puzzle. So passionate yet soft. This was the summer you’d always wanted, the summer you waited for.

As you broke apart for air you both smiled and entangled your hands, and you walked home in the dark, waves crashing against your ankles.

“I liked you before we were even friends you know.” Jeremiah spoke up.

“What?”

“Yeah, I saw you in the hallway one day and I knew, that the pretty girl by locker 34 was going to be my wife one day.”

You smiled, and laughed with him, as you swing your hands back and forth.

“Really? I still had braces….why me?” You asked with a frown.

“Because I love you, you idiot!” He yelled, he turned and kissed you for the second time that night. You smiled into the kiss, and the waves crashed into your calves.

“I love you too…I always have.” You told him. “And I’m not sure about ‘wife’ just yet, but I’m just waiting for you to ask me..” you quoted his words from earlier.

He smiled and got down on one knee, his shorts were wet and your dress was blowing in the wind. You threw your head back in a smile.

“Y/n l/n, will you make me the happiest golden retriever and be my girlfriend,”

“Fuck yes!!!!”

He got up and you held onto each other like it was the last time you’d hug.

When you arrived back at the house, he dragged you up to his room, rummaging in his drawer to find something.

“I uh- I got this for your birthday last year, but I chickened out of giving it to you because I though it might overstep a boundary or something.” He explained as he sat next to you on his bed and handed you a box.

You carefully took off the lid and revealed a sliver locket, the letter J engraved on the front, you opened it up and on the left was a picture on Jeremiah giving you a piggy back ride, both of you smiling so widely. And on the right the lyrics ‘at every table I’ll save you a seat’ were engraved in cursive.

You closed the locket and stared at the J, then at him, tears in your eyes.

“Because I really know you.” He pointed at his initial.

You smiled, tears falling.

“I love you, you’re perfect.” You smiled, looking at his beautiful eyes, and smile, thinking of how thoughtful he was, how kind, how funny, he was yours, and you were his.

He helped you out the necklace on, and you never took it off

#jeremiah fisher #the summer i turned pretty #belly conklin #cousins #taylor swift #jeremiah fisher x reader #jeremiah fisher x y/n #conrad fisher #steven conklin #susannah fisher #beach #summer

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hazyhae · 5 months

Text

getting high with wayv

my first request!! hope y'all enjoy <3

cw: smoking/marijuana use, suggestive content, mentions of sex, teasing/mean-ish behavior from ten, oral

18+ content minors dni

☁︎ kun

there is nothing this man isn’t good at, and weed is no exception

lectures you on moderation while rolling you a perfect little joint and preparing an ash tray for the two of you

acts like he doesn’t want to but smoking with you is one of his favorite forms of stress relief

he usually spoils you, but when high he feels comfy enough to ask to be babied :(

please please please let him lay in your lap and scratch his head

he will bury his face into you and lay kisses on whatever skin he can find with his lips

he just has a lot on his shoulders, so he will appreciate anything from you and repay it tenfold

if you go down on him, expect finishing at least 2-3 times that night

if you ride him, expect a 3 course breakfast the next day

“what did i ever do to deserve you?? baby please don’t ever do this for anyone else”

☁︎ ten

fiend and instigator

challenges you to outsmoke him but you can’t because he is just too good

sassy man apocalypse leader - the higher he gets the more daring his mouth is

“you can’t feel your legs? damn baby you’re high asf come sit on this dick”

he’ll make sure he’s the reason why you can’t feel your legs

he won’t stop talking shit even as he fucks you into oblivion

“you didn’t even finish half your joint, cmon baby you can do better than that”

obvs even when he does tease you he’ll still check in and make sure you’re okay

ten knows how to use his body and the high just gives his movements that little bit of extra fluidity that has you seeing stars

☁︎ winwin

he may seem quiet and reserved, but when he's high, winwin becomes surprisingly talkative and giggly

he loves sharing deep thoughts and having discussions while enjoying the high

there are thoughts that he can’t seem to get out when he’s sober, but they flow while high and you accept them wholeheartedly

those thoughts are also his feelings about how grateful he is for you and how much he loves you

you know he loves you regardless, but his words are just a lovely reminder

“i’m sorry i don’t always tell you how i feel, but let me show you just how much i appreciate you”

and that he does! just lay down and he will treat you like absolute royalty

the weed in his system lets his thoughts flow as he does you, whispering words of affection into your ear throughout the night

☁︎ xiaojun

he is a one hit wonder..

will take one puff and start singing to you while swinging you around the room

he has a playlist specifically for when he gets high, and the two of you will sing the songs in it together as you dance in each other’s arms

high xiaojun is veeery affected by the mood of the music, so once the bedroom music starts, the bedroom eyes you get

he becomes sensual and passionate, moving his hips to the beat of the music, taking his sweet time with you throughout the night

“i could just do this forever with you, nothing feels as good as this baby”

high sex with his favorite person and favorite music playing is the definition of a perfect night for him

gets lost in the music sometimes and might finish a little to early, but is always more than happy to give you some sweet loving and finish you off to end the night

☁︎ hendery

goofy #1

he’s already funny while sober, but your lungs feel like they are gonna burst when you are high with hendery

everything he does is and says is funny when you are high, and he’s just happy to see your smile and hear your laugh

high hendery is incredibly playful and affectionate

he loves cuddling and being as close as he possibly can to you

when the cuddles turn into something more, teasing ensues and you get each other riled up

the two of you are still a little giggly but once he’s turned on, there’s no going back

“let’s see if you’re still laughing after i have you bent over this couch, baby”

☁︎ yangyang

goofy #2

yangyang is adventurous and loves to explore new experiences while high, so he will suggest trying out different smoking methods or edibles

this also means that his playful and adventurous nature will have him always looking for new ways to heighten your pleasure

he loves exploring different positions and techniques with you

just when you think you’ve done everything he will surprise you with something new

“baby wait i’m not done yet, can we try out one more pleeeease”

instead of tiring him out, the weed helps him last longer and go more rounds, trying something different every time

he’s also open minded to doing anything you want to do, and the weed gets rid of any last bit of shame either of you have in expressing your desires

you are both exhausted and passed tf out by the end of the night

#nct smut #wayv smut #nct x reader #wayv x reader #hard thoughts #kun smut #ten smut #winwin smut #xiaojun smut #hendery smut #yangyang smut #weed #stoner!nct #coco works #coco req

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rorywritesjunk · 5 months

Text

No longer locked upon the land but free on the rolling waves

You and Buggy come face to face with himself from the past, and while you're fully accepting that this is your husband as a child, Buggy doesn't want to accept it.

Rating: PG-13ish, but just due to some swearing.

Warning: Upset kid, upset husband. Reader is way too nice, doesn't necessarily take husband's feelings into account as well.

A/N: A combined request. I did a few versions of this story before feeling like it hit the marks I was wanting to hit. Also, I'm just trying to vibe off what I've seen of Kid Buggy. I'm no expert. I'd protect that kid with my life. He's so adorable. I also like the trope of "Meeting your self from another time" and "gets turned back into kid-self". This is the former, and I know shit about time travel but I just kind of made something up. Also, kelpies. Are they in One Piece? I honestly don't know but I love kelpies and needed an excuse to mention them.

Title comes from "Sailing Song" by S.J. Tucker.

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6/Epilogue

Chapter One

You would have thought you drank the pub dry the night before and were still drunk with what you were seeing in front of you. Except you very much didn’t drink. You stayed back on the ship, wanting a quiet night while the rest of the crew and captain went to drink the pub dry. You were perfectly sober, no hangover in sight, but you really weren’t sure what you were staring at.

Blue hair, red nose, and a scowl you knew all too well was in front of you, clutching something in his little hands while looking you up and down. “What?!”

“I… don’t know.” Which was true, you didn’t know. The kid in front of you looked every bit like the captain who was currently sleeping back on the ship, having managed to find his way home without falling off the docks and into the water to drown(this time). He never mentioned having a kid, ever, and considering how long you knew the captain and your relationship with him, and guessing the kid’s age, you would have been having a very serious talk about infidelity and why keeping your love child a secret? Seriously? wasn’t good for relationships.

“Why are you staring at me?!” The kid snapped. “Don’t stare at me!”

“Sorry!” You smiled and knelt down in front of him. “You just look so much like someone I know, I was confused. I promise I wasn’t staring.”

The kid was on guard, tense, and looked ready to bolt, but you were curious. He just looked so much like Buggy that he had to be an offspring or some kind of relative, but the scary thing to you was how much he really looked like Buggy; he had kept some photos of his childhood onboard the Oro Jackson, and you knew what he looked like as a kid. He would show them to you on nights when he was drunk and reminiscing about the good ol’ days, singing shanties and drinking heavily. Last night was one of those nights before he passed out asleep in bed.

“What’s your name?” You finally asked. The kid didn’t seem sure about telling you, but he must have felt brave because he straightened up and smirked at you.

“I’m Buggy!” He told you, puffing his chest out proudly. “I’m an apprentice under Captain Roger, y’know, and I’m one of the best already!”

Oh.

Oh shit.

Yea, no, something weird was going on. Why was there a kid who looked like Buggy, had the same name, and was talking about Captain Roger like he was still alive? Was this an elaborate make believe game the kid was playing, or were you staring into the eyes of your husband’s childhood self?

Weirdly enough, the latter made more sense to you. You heard of this happening, stories from sailors and pirates alike, but the stories were overheard at the bar after too much alcohol was consumed. Stories of children appearing for several days on a ship, like ghosts from a distant past, only to disappear again without a trace, but sometimes it happened the other way around, with the storytellers insisting that they met themselves as a child in the past, got to relive some memories, good and bad, before coming home again.

“Yea?” You grinned. “That’s impressive, so where’s your crew? Your ship?”

The smirk vanished and he deflated a bit, looking around with the smallest bit of worry. “I don’t know. I was in front of them and there was some kind of flash of light, and… I don’t know where I am.”

“Oh, well, want me to help you look for them?” You asked, knowing all too well that his crew was nowhere around, he was not where he thought he was, but you didn’t want him getting into any trouble (which you knew was difficult because as an adult he managed to get himself into enough trouble). “If we don’t find them, you can stay with me. I’ll keep you safe.”

“I-I don’t need to be kept safe!” He snapped. “I’m tough, okay? I can take care of myself!”

You made sure not to laugh, but it was hard not too. He was so cute as a kid that saying those things with such passion and intensity just made him even more adorable. Instead, you nodded, agreeing with him as you held your hand out to him to take.

“Well, how about something to eat? I’m just finishing up a supply run for my ship.” You said. “I’m happy to make you something before we find your crew.”

He looked at your hand, looked at you, then back at your hand before hesitantly taking it. Whatever he held in his hand he put in his pocket, making you wonder what he stole before coming here. You decided not to test the waters yet, he was feisty, proud, and if you treated him like a kid then he wouldn’t be very happy. You needed to treat him like the apprentice that he is, proud, determined, and passionate. Once his hand was in yours, you gave it a gentle squeeze and smiled at him as you started walking back to the docks.

“I have fresh apples and peanut butter, if you’d like that as a snack.” You said, eyeing him with a grin as his face lit up. That was the same snack you’d promise the captain whenever you wanted something from him. It wasn’t fancy by any means, just a simple snack, but you kept the peanut butter hidden from him so he never knew where to find it. The way the kid’s face lit up told you all you needed to know that this really was Buggy as a kid.

Oh, it was about to get fun on the ship.

“-and then I stole it!” Buggy exclaimed with a laugh, holding up the pendant for you to see. He had just finished telling you of his latest act of piracy, stealing some necklace from a vendor on the streets. You had fed him, given him something to drink, and you couldn’t help but walk over to him once he finished talking to wipe some of the food off his face with a dish towel. He was caught off guard and made a face at you when you did that.

“Pirates with food on their face scare no one.” You chuckled as you slung the towel over your shoulder before clearing the dishes in front of him. “And then what happened, Buggy?”

He fell silent, brow furrowed as he thought of your question. What did happen? He took off running, met up with the crew, and then a flash of light and he bumped into you-

“Buggy?” You tapped on the table in front of him, bringing him out of his thoughts. “You okay, sweetie?”

“Yea, yea.” He mumbled as he looked down at the pendant in his hand. “Next thing that happened was I ran into you.”

He quite literally did. You had just stepped out of a shop when he walked right into you, and you had been in shock of seeing him that you weren't bothered that a kid was yelling at you about being in the way.

“Oh!” You nodded and went to refill his glass. “Well, you can stay with me until we find your crew, okay?”

“Are you a pirate?” He asked. “I'm on a pirate ship, but you don't seem like a pirate.”

You laughed softly at that, shaking your head. “I'm not, no. I don't do piracy, just help with the upkeep of the ship. My husband, however, is a pirate.”

“What?!”

“Yea, he-”

“It's too loud in here.” Someone grumbled from the doorway. You both turned to look; the kid’s eyes widened and you grinned. And there he was, groggy, a little hungover, and obviously needing food and coffee if he was going to start the day. You went over to him and led him to the table, helping him sit down before you started on the coffee. “Time?”

“Lunch time.” You chuckled. “That's what time it is, honey.”

He glared at you, oblivious to the guest that was staring at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. Buggy was a little hungover, having had his fair share of alcohol the night before. Normally you had the coffee ready for him before he woke up, so he was confused and unhappy that it wasn't readily available for him at that moment.

“It's too early.” He grumbled, rubbing his eyes. “What's for lunch?”

“Wake up first.” You brought him a cup and kissed the top of his head. “But I need you to look across the table before you drink that coffee, honey.”

Buggy looked up at you, eyes squinting in confusion. You took hold of his head and turned it in the direction you wanted him to look, and a few seconds later he pushed back from the table while you still held his head. Swearing, you popped it back onto his neck.

“W-What is going on?” He shrieked upon seeing the kid. Thankfully Kid Buggy remained seated, but you could see the confused look on his face. The two were staring at each other, mirror images except for the age difference. Before you could explain, your husband got up, marched over to the kid, and picked him up by the back of the shirt, carrying him out of the kitchen.

“Buggy-” You went after him, not sure what was happening.

“Hey! Put me down!” The kid shrieked, fists swinging and legs kicking.

Buggy didn't respond and before you could stop him, he tossed the kid over the side of the ship and into the water. You couldn't believe he did that. You rushed to the side to look over, relieved you saw the kid treading water. So this was definitely a young Buggy, pre-Devil Fruit, otherwise you would have thrown your husband overboard after the kid. You threw a rope down to him while your husband went back to the kitchen, rambling on about curses and bad omens.

You wanted to know what the hell that was about.

“I’m fine!” The kid insisted as you wrapped his hair up in a towel. His clothes were soaked and you did not have anything that would fit him, so he was currently wearing an old shirt of Buggy’s until his clothes dried. They were draped over a chair in the bedroom, the pendant he stole earlier sitting on your shared dressing table.

“I don’t need you getting sick, sweetie.” You sighed as you used another towel to make sure his face was clean. You were mindful of the nose, touching the towel to his face except there. “I’m sorry he did that.”

“Why did he do that?” He grumbled as he crossed his arms, glaring up at you.

“Because pirates are superstitious fools.” You told him. “And… seeing you scared him I guess. I don’t know, I’m going to talk to him.” Carefully, you unwrapped his hair, making note that he needed to have it brushed to keep from tangling too much. You got up and set the towels aside before grabbing your hairbrush. “Buggy, I’m going to tell you something and I don’t want you to get scared, okay?”

“I don’t get scared!” He insisted. “Not like that guy! I’m braver than him!”

“Okay, here’s the thing about my husband-”

“Don’t tell him anything!” Your husband suddenly appeared in the doorway, glaring at the two of you. “Where did you find him? Who is he?!”

You weren’t bothered by his mood, but you wanted to make sure the kid felt safe. Without a word you moved between the two, keeping Kid Buggy behind you as you crossed your arms.

“We ran into each other, Buggy.” You told him firmly. “He got separated from his crew.”

“Crew?!” Buggy shook his head. “No, get him off this ship. He could be… a kelpie or something. Get him out of here!”

“He’s not a kelpie.” You sighed.

“You don’t know that!”

Rolling your eyes you looked down at the kid. He had grabbed hold of your pant leg, gripping it tightly as he stared at the man in the doorway. This was a lot for both of them but you needed the captain to calm down. You knelt down and touched the kid’s bare toes. He took a step back and gave you a weird look.

“Human toes, no hooves.” You pointed out. “He also mentioned the Oro Jackson and being an apprentice…” You looked back at your husband. He paled and shook his head. This was too much. This was not him, this had to be some form of trickery, or a shapeshifter. “Besides, I’ve spent enough time with my husband to know when I’m with him as a child.”

Kid Buggy’s eyes widened, looking between you and Adult Buggy. Child? Was… this supposed to be him in the future? As an adult? His jaw dropped, he couldn’t believe it. You smiled at the expression on his face, pleased the kid was in awe of this.

“I turn out to be a drunk loser?!” The kid shrieked. “Why?!”

Okay, that was not what you expected. You slapped your hand to your face while your husband looked ready to throw the kid overboard once again. Kid Buggy just shook his head, not believing this. Was this an alternate reality of some kind? He wouldn’t be like this. Was this guy even a pirate? He didn’t seem like it from the little bit the kid had seen already. He was not impressed in the slightest.

“I want him gone.” Buggy snapped. “No kelpie or bad omen crap is allowed on this ship!”

He stormed off after that.

#buggy the clown #sunny x buggy #buggy the clown x reader #buggy x reader #buggy x you #buggy the clown x you #opla buggy the clown x reader #opla buggy x reader #opla buggy the clown x you #opla buggy x you #one piece #one piece oc #one piece fanfiction

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attractive-nuisance-esq · 7 months

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Ed’s journey this season is going to perfectly mirror addiction and recovery, and I am so fucking here for it. Watching these first three episodes of S2 was like watching a highly dramatized AU of my own descent into rock bottom (except everyone was dressed wayyyyyy cooler than I ever was), so I have a lot of thoughts, reactions, and insights that I want to share with other fans. I’m sure many of us who have struggled with our mental health connected with Ed in these episodes, but I think addiction is the most appropriate lens through which to view him because addicts (more often than people who struggle with other mental illnesses) so wholly destroy their own lives and utterly devastate those of their loved ones. I want to share - from the perspective of someone who has steered her own ship straight into a storm and woke up alone to face some very hard choices - what is going on with Ed at the start of this season and what I think is coming.

Let me start by saying that Ed isn’t literally addicted to any one thing, despite his heavy use of drugs and alcohol, but his goal is the same as that of all addicts: escape. He does not want to sit with the pain of Stede leaving him on an immediate, surface level; on a deeper, more habitual level, he doesn’t want to sit with the pain of his own self-loathing. Of course the two are related: the former brings the latter to a head. Stede abandoning him dredges up and brightly illuminates all of his insecurities, and now Ed has to run. Get out. Escape. Don’t think about it. So he is fighting, stealing, drinking, snorting, shooting, killing - whatever it takes to not think about it.

“Demon? I’m the fuckin’ devil.” People in recovery often talk about addiction as if it were a separate, sentient monster living within them. Ed taking on the mantle of demon - a creature known specifically for possession, for removing the host’s free will - is intentional. So is his insistence that he’s not just any demon but the demon. The worst there is. (More on that when we get to The Innkeeper.)

Izzy’s confrontation of Ed in the captain’s cabin and then on deck is a form of intervention. Izzy is trying to help Ed, but of course this goes terribly for him and for Ed because interventions (I cannot stress this enough) are maybe the worst thing you could do to an addict. All addicts know things are bad, but they cannot be pushed to change one single second before they’re ready. Ed knows things are bad. He’s well-aware of how he’s spending his time, how his crew feels about him, how disappointed Izzy is. Being confronted with all of those truths by Izzy was always only going to make him do two things: 1) dig further into his unhealthy coping mechanisms, never mind that they don’t have nearly the effect that they used to; and 2) lash out at the person who forced him to think about it. Izzy lost his leg the moment he stepped into Ed’s cabin.

The impossible bird. You guys remember the song Chandelier by Sia? The one about her addiction to alcohol? The whole thing may as well come right out of Ed’s mouth at the end of that first episode, because that experience is exactly what he’s trying to convey to Frenchie. Nevermind that Frenchie has the temerity to tell him the bird can’t exist, that it has to come down sometime, that flying forever isn’t sustainable. The bird can come down on its own terms, or crash… but Frenchie’s definitely not going to say that much. Still, “that sounds like something that can’t exist” hits Ed, and leads us to the next episode.

Now we’ve got Ed forlorn, heartbroken, almost catatonic while playing with his cake toppers. We don’t actually see him crying in the opening of the episode, which is the point. He’s done crying now. The impossible bird can’t exist, and Ed has already resigned himself to this. He’s decided to die. The only sure-fire permanent way to not think about it.

When next we see Ed, he seems to be doing better, but this is a huge red flag for anyone who knows to look. He’s giving away his responsibility to Frenchie; he’s cleaning the cabin for the closure. He knows the end is coming fast, and the relief that knowledge brings him leaves him weirdly at peace. It is he eeriest part of these episodes, IMO.

Then he goes to find his first mate, the person who knows him better than anyone else in the world, the man he just fucking shot and ordered killed. Ed needs his low opinion of himself validated, and of course he thinks he’ll get it from Izzy after everything he’s done to him. He wants the one person who has stuck with him through everything to confirm that he’s now irretrievably broken and no longer worthy of his love. Ed wants someone to tell him that he’s right: he should die.

He doesn’t get that from Izzy. Interestingly, Izzy doesn’t tell him he should die. He says “Clean up your own mess.” Izzy has learned the lesson now that Ed isn’t ready to get better and that he can’t make him be ready. (This post isn’t about Izzy, but hoo boy - I have big feels about that man.)

Ed has been indulging in various forms of self-destruction in order to not feel his feelings, and steering the ship into the storm is his worst indulgence yet. This is the worst of his crimes - not beheading or arson or a red wedding. It’s when he tries to bring down everyone who has ever loved him into his misery, into believing what he believes. The audience generally (and Ed’s audience of Stede specifically) can forgive him for hurting strangers and for the non-specific mayhem whose victims we’ve never met; but it is much less certain that anyone will forgive him for hurting the only family he’s ever known.

The storm itself is the perfect metaphor for Ed’s attempt on his and, incidentally, everyone else’s lives. One of the most common metaphors used by friends and family members of addicts is that of a hurricane: that their addicted loved-ones tend to destroy everything they touch, anyone who was foolish or brave enough to stick around. And, like hurricanes, addicts aren’t malicious. Ed’s primary goal here is to get himself killed, not to kill everyone else. He wants the ship to go down so his death is certain. His firing a cannonball into the mast and asking Jim and Archie to fight to the death isn’t malice: it’s utter and complete nihilism. Nothing matters anymore. Nothing and no one. The end is near, and he’s so fucking drunk and high off these distractions that he couldn’t think about it if he tried. He’s manic with relief. (See also: “Finally.”)

And now for the finale: Purgatory. Buckle up, because this is where the addiction analogy gets real *chef’s kiss.* Purgatory is the equivalent of the morning after the worst, most rock bottom binge night of your life. You wake up with no one for company but the ghosts of your former selves. Now what?

Well, first - who is Hornigold to Ed? Why is he the guy Ed sees? It’s because Hornigold is another addict, if you will, but one who is (in this Purgatory hallucination) farther along in his recovery. He can impart some wisdom from that place, but he can also stand in as someone Ed can loathe because they’re not as different as Ed once thought, even if Hornigold can say he’s grown.

Hornigold tries to give him soup. He tells Ed, “Gotta get these nutrients into you,” and then literally shoves soup down his throat. That’s what it’s like in rock bottom. You don’t want to take care of yourself, but some lizard brain survival instinct takes over and makes you drink water, eat a piece of fruit, take yourself to the hospital. These things don’t really happen voluntarily that morning after, but you can still count on that instinct to kick in with some damage control.

Ed telling Hornigold how he “got here.” Hornigold says “Mutiny. It’s always mutiny.” Ed insists his mutiny was special, worse somehow. This whole scene is exactly what happens in your first recovery support group meeting. You go in thinking no one has ever been as fucked and fucked up as you are, which makes you feel isolated and alone. But then you get there and everyone else in the circle has done the same shit, been through the same shit. Ed’s not actually the devil; he’s just another demon, like many demons before him.

Ed worries he’s insane when he reflects on everything he’s done. Hornigold’s reply that “Feeling bad isn’t going to rebuild an abdominal wall” is a concept that people usually learn a little bit later in recovery, so I expect we’ll see more on this theme from Ed. Guilt is a useless emotion that only serves to conversely make the addict feel better but doesn’t help the harmed party: the addict feels like their suffering is cleansing, but it’s not - feeling guilt is just more self-indulgence, more self-destruction. Hornigold - a fellow addict in this moment - is trying to get this lesson to him early. It’ll return.

“You’ve got to move on or blow your brains out.” We’re getting back to Purgatory as the metaphor for the morning-after rock bottom, because this is the exact calculation that every person in recovery has done. They all had to answer that one big question. Your whole life is a mess, and you made the mess. Do you want to clean it up? Or quit? (Or make some soup? Yeah. That big question can’t be answered without basic needs having been met. So let’s eat. Let’s start there. It’s easier.)

Now we have Ed’s fantasy about opening an inn: This is also a common part of the morning-after rock bottom. You start thinking about the wrong turns you took, the mistakes you made, the way your life was supposed to go and all the reasons you’re not where you wanted to be. (And all the people you can blame for the fact that your life didn’t go as planned.) And when that honest part of yourself starts telling you that actually it’s all your fault… well, a) you don’t wanna hear it, and b) you can’t silence (kill) that monster, no matter how hard you try. You’ve got to face it. Face all those truths you’ve been running from for years. Now you have to think about it.

So now the big question, the inevitable math. Hornigold suggests looking at the pros and the cons. That’s the easiest way to break the calculation into manageable variables. This is probably my favorite moment of the episode, because when you’re sitting there, morning after the worst night of your life, everything is fucked - these are the exact variables that go into your equation. Do I really want to live? You ask yourself that, and because your life is in fucking shambles, you come up with the stupidest goddamn reasons to keep going. You wanna see the next seasons of Good Omens and Loki. You wanna eat your mom’s spaghetti again. Sometimes it’s nice when someone hugs you. It’s never the big things that save your life; it’s a bunch of the littlest things. The smallest comforts. The big things… they’re too unattainable. They’re too much to hope for, and they’re more than you could possibly deserve. What are the pros of living for Ed? Warmth, good food, orgasms. This is a stunningly accurate representation of the things that will keep you alive once you’ve hit rock bottom.

And then the cons: “I don’t think anyone is waiting for me.” This is why addiction is the better metaphor. There is no human experience more isolating than addiction. You are alone in more ways than you’ve ever been before. You have pushed away or pissed off everyone who ever cared about you. And even the ones who will maybe still be there for you - they can’t help you clean up the mess you’ve made. You have to do the work alone, even if they’re still willing to stand next to you. And this con… it’s the scariest one. Your list of little pros looks so pathetic next to the horror of being utterly fucking alone. Who is going to brave that for some stupid shit like Tom Hiddleston sexily flipping his hair back in that Loki way he does? Why should Ed carry on just because blankets are cozy and marmalade is pleasant?

This is where we get to the moment on the mountain, and what Stede represents. Hornigold tells Ed “You’re unlovable, and you’re afraid to do anything about it.” Ed could do two things about being unlovable: He could try to fix it, or he could end it all. Hornigold represents the worst part of Ed: his weaknesses and cowardice. And if Hornigold is in the driver’s seat, he’s going to end it all. He throws the rock off the cliff, and Ed gets dragged down into the water to drown. (Let’s also talk later about how often addiction is compared to drowning, and how nothing else in the show actually threatened Ed’s life - not Izzy with a gun, not all the rhino horn, not Jim’s cannonball - like drowning in his own mind.)

But then there’s Stede. Stede is how the pros win over that one big, horrifying con. Stede is hope. Stede is just a glimmer of hope. Hope is the most important thing you need in the morning-after rock bottom. As much as I enjoy the idea that it was love that saved Ed, I don’t think that’s a wholly faithful interpretation. Because Stede’s love for Ed doesn’t solve anything, doesn’t fix anything - it certainly doesn’t fix Ed. It cannot fix Ed. Hornigold just told Ed that he’s the one who has to “do something about it,” because Ed is the only one who can save himself. But even if Stede’s love for him in itself isn’t what saves Ed, Ed’s trust in Stede combined with that love gives him hope. Stede loves Ed, truly loves him, came back to him even though he knows Ed’s nature, knows his list of crimes, knows what he’s done to Stede’s friends and family. And maybe Ed can find in himself what he trusts Stede truly sees. It’s a “maybe,” not a certainty. But it’s hope. Someone loves him. Maybe he can love himself, too.

This Woman’s Work: I read this song as referring more appropriately to Ed’s relationship with himself, in no small part because Ed literally made himself the woman in the cake topper couple. All the things that should have been done, should have been said - they’re things Ed needs to do and say to himself. He’s got a little life and a lot of strength left. The journey has just begun.

I want to pop back quickly to a few other moments in The Innkeeper that resonated, starting with Stede and Izzy’s discussion about what happened to Ed: “He went mad. He was a wild dog.” Izzy describes Ed’s breakdown as if he was no longer the same person he once was; this is exactly what addiction does to a person. Ed hasn’t been himself; he’s been held hostage by his need for escape, and he’s become something else. Possessed, if you will.

Izzy: “You and me did this to him, and we can’t let the crew suffer any more for our mistakes.” I’m not writing an essay on Izzy (yet), but this is a very interesting perspective that says a lot about Izzy. Stede and Izzy both owe apologies to Ed, but they are not responsible for his actions. I predict we’re going to see this theme explored in later episodes as a part of Ed’s healing process and recovery. And also hopefully in Izzy’s growth.

Frenchie’s line that “We’ve been living second-to-second for a while now” is a callback to the impossible bird idea. Which, again, is just Chandelier x Sia. “I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down, won’t open my eyes, keep my glass full until morning light ‘cause I’m just holding on for tonight.”

So what’s next? For me, it was learning to sit alone in a quiet room with my thoughts. It was apologizing to the ones I hurt, because even if I didn’t mean to hurt them - even if I was suffering also and worse - they still got hurt, and in the end it didn’t matter why. It was developing the habit of liking myself, and acting on whatever self-love and affection I could conjure up. And yes… it was new seasons of Good Omens and Loki, my mom’s spaghetti, and hugs.

So I think Ed has a lot of accountability, reflection, and breaking of old habits in his future… but also warmth, good food, and orgasms. And good for him. That’s the beauty of recovery: we get to come back.

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anzulvr · 9 months

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Imagine Karma having a bad day and a smart af reader who can see through him instantly catches on and tries to do little things to make him feel better but doesn't do anything direct bc they know that Karma isn't so great with admitting he's upset and he eventually opens up and cuddles up to them and omGHW RKSIAJWWNAOQ

KARMA X READER WHO READS HIM LIKE AN OPEN BOOK

This took like 2 weeks I’m sorry there’s so many requests 😭

Karma has never been the best at hiding how he feels, it never even seems like he tries to as he’s very open and honest about what he thinks.

No one can really read him except for you.

He doesn’t know wether to think of that as a good thing or not. You understand him but is having someone like that something he wants?

He sits down next to you in the morning for first period. He came late and he has this grouchy look on his face, you ask him what’s wrong.

he brushes you off “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

It was obviously something still you didn’t want to be pushy.

The rest of the day you could tell something was weighing on his mind so you made it your life’s (or days) mission to make him feel better.

You spent the rest of the day trying to cheer him up

passing him notes during class, (Korosensei sees you but doesn’t stop you from doing it when he sees Karma smiling while reading them)

Messing with him during your sparring session

“[Name] you sure you want to fight me? I’m not going easy on you.” (He totally will)

“You don’t have too! I’ve been practicing too.”

mid way the fight you realize you overestimated yourself, even with him letting you hit him it was somehow hurting you more.

“[Name] I’ve seen cats that hit harder than yo— PffttHAHAHA WHY DOES YOU TICKLING ME HURT MORE??”

you realize there was no beating him through sheer will but you did know he was ticklish and that’s a big enough weakness to exploit.

You were also just being extra corny all day just for the sake of it

“This (love) song reminds me of you.”

“[name] that’s so chessy it’s gross.” he says trying to hide the smile creeping up his face

You went to his house to hang out for a while

“Karma, let’s watch [insert really overrated action move]!”

“I thought you said you didn’t want to last time.”

“You like it right? I want to watch something you like.”

His heart exploded right then and there. How could someone be so sweet without realizing it

mid way through the movie his spirits seemed raised so you ask.

“Karma do you mind me asking why you were upset today?”

“t’s really nothing I’m surprised you could even tell. No one else said anything.”

“I just pay extra attention to you, they didn’t say anything cause you have resting bitch face”

“Obsessed much?”

“As if! seriously though, what happened?” You had to push further for him to admit anything actually happened

“I just got into a fight with some stupid guy”

“Really? That’s it? You get into fights like everyday.”

“It’s a long story. Him and his friends were talking about you and it really set me off because I’d already had a shitty morning— my parents called to tell me they already made plans to travel to New York after they told me they’d stay here for atleast a month?”

“Oh wow- I’m sorry Karma, I know they promised and everything.”

“Yeah. Uhm sorry— I didn’t mean to unload that much.”

(Sorry??? He says sorry??)

“Huh? You don’t have to apologize, I want to know these things cause I care.”

“Oh. Thanks [name], you’re the only person I’d ever tell these things too.”

“Whys that?”

“I trust you too much, who knows when you’ll blackmail me with this.”

“Blackmail is your thing not mine!”

“Mhm, that’s what a blackmailer would say. Anyways let’s finish the movie the best part is coming up!”

“I was hoping you forgot we were watching that snooze fest.”

“In what world is [super mega overrated action movie] a snooze fest??“

“Do you hear yourself right now..?”

“You don’t see me complaining when you make me watch those romance dramas you like.”

“What are you saying, you never shut up about how unrealistic the scenes are.”

“Cause they ARE— in what world do guys get in car crashes, stay in mid air for 5 minutes and look good while doing it??”

“…in what world does an antihero ninja go around fighting people to save humanity.”

“To be fair we’re trying to kill an alien octopus to save the world from exploding these days.”

“Yeah.. if you asked me a year ago which of these events were most likely to happen I wouldn’t have guessed alien octopus world explosion.”

“Right, to be honest the car accident in true beauty seems fairly realistic in comparis- [Name] LOOK THATS THE SCENE!”

in the end you fell asleep on the floor together when you woke up he complained about how you slept though it. (He fell asleep 5 minutes after you.)

#ansatsu kyoushitsu #karma akabane #akabane karma x reader #assassination classroom x reader #karma akabane headcannons #karma akabane x reader #karma x reader #assasination classroom #assassination classroom #assclass

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riminiscensce · 3 months

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HEY STEPHEN ִ ࣪𖤐 venti

SYNOPSIS … “I’m waiting alone now, so come on and come out and pull me near, and shine, shine, shine. hey stephen, I could give you fifty reasons why I should be the one you choose. all those other girls, well they’re beautiful, but would they write a song for you?”

NOTES … this is such a failed attempt at old school romance idk, intended to make this a bit angsty but I felt like “nah”, made this a bit short too

CONTENTS … fluff/sfw , gender neutral reader

Word Count … 1028

Genshin Impact (Taylor’s Version) Masterlist

Venti stays true to himself whenever looking over his people. He knows how to see the best in everybody, though he also knows that there are rare occasions when he sees wrong.

He has had his fair share of misjudgments, had misconceived others— usually when something seems far too good. Though in some cases, it doesn’t bother him much.

When he mistakes something for being beautiful, that is when it would usually hurt.

Sometimes it leads to betrayals, tears, and reflecting on his trust towards others.

He knows things can be deceiving, but the thought of you felt so genuine to him.

So real and unpretending.

Venti knows he saw something within you. A light that never dared to hide behind even a single patch of darkness.

It was beautiful.

And when he had the chance to talk to you, the bard of Mondstadt, known to never run out of words and tales to muse, found himself failing to say half the things he wanted to say.

It got Venti’s notice that he wasn’t the only one within the city who'd seen your genuinity.

He saw how others would talk to you, help you, and just be with you.

Venti knows he can offer a new feeling if it were him that was beside you.

He’s the bard! Much more— the God of Freedom (not that you know)!

He can take you to new heights than anyone can.

Beating around the bush isn’t usually Venti’s style, so he already accepted he had some sort of infatuation towards you. Sweet, innocent you.

Something untouched by Teyvat’s story.

Someone that he feels is untouchable.

Not even by him.

But he’d be lying if he said he doesn’t want to get caught up by you.

As months passed, he continued to ponder about your existence.

“Venti?”

The way you say his name perfectly matches the way he strums his lyre. It was a wonderful tune.

Turning towards you, the wind shifts as Venti notices his surroundings grow dimmer.

Leaving only a ray of light that shined down on you only.

“Hey there, what brings you all the way out here?” He watches as you gracefully sit down on the patch of grass beside him, careful as to not disturb much of the surrounding. He notices how you do that so well.

“To watch crystalflies.”

“Really?” That’s all? Archons, may your innocence be like this forever and always.

“Mhm, I’ve only heard stories on how they light up every path they fly through. I wanted to see for myself.”

“You seem very dedicated, so far as to leave the city in the middle of the night… Do you really want to see them that bad?” Venti muses, the idea of it feels so natural to him.

“I guess you could say that,” You hummed, “I just never seen anything shine the way that crystalflies do in tales. Except for the sun, but you can’t even look at it without ruining your eyes.”

Venti chuckles at your white thoughts. He simply adores your sense of wonder even at your age. Not a lot of adults grow up with maintaining their pure thoughts.

He only hopes, to any being listening to his pleas, that you remain unchanged.

Because he knows he would also stay the same for you.

Right now, he wants to help you remain the same. That was when you felt the breeze shifting against you, pairing with the seemingly mindless tunes of Venti’s string instrument.

Within the same moment, you see small specks of teal light floating through the dark.

“Crystalflies only drift towards those that holds cleanhanded and honest emotions.”

Venti watches in comforting silence as the crystalflies shine, shining alongside you.

Despite the quantity of the creatures, they don’t seem to outshine you.

You still stand out as ever.

“You shine brighter than ever.” The bard hums, retreating his gaze down his lyre the moment you turned yours towards him, thinking he was mentioning the crystalflies.

“They do.”

“I meant you.”

“…”

“I’m not quite sure how you do it, but that light you have seems far too good and different from anything I’ve seen.”

At that peaceful moment, the bard who lost his capability of expressing words about you, starts musing his feelings toward his audience, you.

So he goes on..

“I see everyone in the city as similar souls, yet you seperate yourself from theirs, as if you were meant to be your own wonder.”

And on…

“I’ve seen it all. Different kinds of people, how they act, how they shine separately… but somehow even beings such as crystalflies seem to be bothered by how you outshine them.”

And on…

“You seem to act as if you were unpretending, but as I get to see you stand out on your own, the more I came to realize how none of it was an act. But rather, it was sincerity that was touchable for no one.”

And on…

“People change, they always do and I’ve already grown to accept that phenomenon. Though when it comes to you, I can only hope you stay the same.”

Until he realized how much he had said aloud.

But it seemed as if it wasn’t enough.

You stared agape at him, the presence of the flying glows fades into your inattention.

“A simple “I like you”, would have sufficed.”

That was when Venti grinned and chortled.

“I can’t help myself knowing how much you hear that phrase from a lot of people…”

The wind picks up yet again.

“I simply don’t think those three words are enough for me.”

And with it, the tranquil sounds of nature and Venti’s instrument harmonize together.

“I want my words to stand out the same way you do to me.” He continues, “No matter how many beautiful souls tell you that they like you…”

He winks, “Would have they said it the way I did? Hehe…”

You giggle at his behavior, not so different from his usual self, although there was some indifference with the way he expressed himself tonight.

And you know deep down, that no one would have expressed it the same way Venti did.

rimi's notes …

I intended to make this a “happy crush” kind of situation where Venti thinks that he shouldn’t mingle with you because he’s a God and you’re not, so he just settles to watch you shine from afar to lessen the hurt he knows will come with change. Anyways, Happy Valentines’ Day!!!

I would also like to deeply thank you for your guys’ support :3 I’m glad people are liking the silly things I write heheh 🫶

Next in line would be Wriothesley for Speak Now!

hearts / reblogs / follows are very much appreciated ★

Stay Beautiful by Kaedehara Kazuha (previously) ִ ࣪𖤐 I Can See You by Wriothesley (coming soon)

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #venti x reader #venti x reader fluff #genshin fluff #genshin impact tv 🫶🪽

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