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#for the record I hate cops
doomsday-dj · 1 month
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Alright i'll bite...
Can u share your top 3 reasons why you chose Rizzles for your fanfics??
I don’t think I can stress enough how much I did not choose Rizzoli & Isles.
This is not like an “I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me” thing except it kind of is. I am Rizzles Tupac. But seriously if you go back to like July of last year, before I started watching this show, I had never even CONSIDERED writing fan fiction. I did not write for fun. I did not think about writing for fun. Writing was completely not on my radar.
I have what I call my kitchen shows which I put on when I’m making dinner or doing the dishes. The key with these shows is that they’re not supposed to be very good. I had tried to do it with Bosch but that show was actually too riveting so I put on Rizzoli & Isles one day in search of a dumber procedural.
And then suddenly I was fucking hooked? And secretly started writing fan fiction? I was like midway through the third season when I started AGVK. True story I took my wife out for a date night and after a couple of margaritas and a beer I was like “I have something to tell you, I’m embarrassed but I can’t keep it from you any longer” and she probably thought I committed a crime or was having an affair for a second.
ANYWAY. This show really snuck up on me. I truly cannot believe how much of my waking life is spent thinking about a fictional cop.
But I do want to answer your question so I will tell you the top three reasons why I’m STILL writing Rizzles fanfics:
1) there is just so much to work with and so little to get in the way of it. They spend all their time together and have barely any men in their lives and that’s just so good. Like I don’t think there’s another non-canon wlw ship where they’re more married. Supercorp is so popular but I’m watching that show right now and had to go through SO MANY EPISODES where they didn’t even interact. I think OUAT has them interacting plenty but there’s more forcing them into romances with men? Idk I haven’t watched it. But Rizzles is just…they’re each other’s entire world. It’s great.
2) we are so starved for butch representation on television that literal super model and girly girl ANGIE HARMON walking manishly is among the best I can get. I cannot believe how gayly she landed this character, it baffles me every time I watch.
3) They’re both just so hot. Sasha Alexander couldn’t be more my type. Every time they put her in a sheath dress and a pair of nude stilettos I practically fall to my knees.
Bonus 4th reason: the Rizzles fandom is small but so friendly and lovely and receptive. I have a couple Supercorp fics planned and I know that fandom is way way way bigger and I’m excited to see what kind of reception my writing might get over there but I know it’s not gonna be as cozy as this little community we have.
As always, I hope you were looking for an EXTREMELY in-depth answer! Thanks for the ask.
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northern-passage · 2 years
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cw: mention of suicide
not sure how many of you are into traditional horror games (or more specifically the indie horror game scene)
and while i don’t usually play these games myself i enjoy watching playthrus on youtube and one of the games that circulated pretty recently was MADiSON, as well as martha is dead, and less recently was the blair witch.
all 3 of these games have 2 things in common: they are “psychological horror” and they all have suicide endings.
i hated all of these games. i think if i had to choose, martha is dead is the one i hate the most. but i don’t want to talk about that specifically (we’d be here all day)
it’s very obvious that there’s a trend towards “psychological horror” or as they call it in film for some reason, “elevated horror” and i think it’s fair to say that that’s true for IF as well. i don’t think that’s a bad thing, i like psychological horror, i don’t really have a preference to be quite honest; what i dislike, though, is the demonization of mental illness.
it’s always been a problem in the horror genre, but now i think it’s shifted slightly in a less direct way. i started thinking about this because i was watching a review about the blair witch project game, and she opens up the video talking about the ending, as well as MADiSON’s.
she made some really interesting points that i think are worth repeating. i know up until recently i had a “sanity” mechanic in tnp - it served a purpose, and it still does, but it never really needed to be labelled that way.
the reviewer even makes a comment about how mental health has been reduced to a “bleak soft magic system” - a game mechanic, a setting for people to play around in, a setting where bad things can happen for no reason other than it’s dark and edgy and shocking.
her criticism essentially boiled down to: mental illness isn’t your playground to experiment in, to spitball ideas for your horror game, it isn’t a toy you can pick up and play with. it’s not a game mechanic, it’s something that real people live with every single day. and that really resonated with me and put into words what i couldn’t.
tnp revolves around the hunter and their mental health - it’s an important part of their character, and impacts the way they interact with their companions and the wider world of the game, as well as how they deal with the rot. and with it being fantasy, it definitely blurs the line - is it magic? is it their imagination? is it the rot/their illness? was the hunter the killer all along?
mental illness can be scary. but it’s also manageable. it is not Thee Horror at the end of this book. and i think that’s important to remember when writing some of these horror stories. what is the point of mentioning this here, in this specific story - is it just for shock? is it just to imply and emphasize some imagined horror about the mentally ill? is it just to slap “dark themes” in the description, to grab the attention of some edgy readers? or is it actually serving a purpose in the narrative, offering something of substance beyond “mental illness scary”? beyond “dark and edgy” just for the sake of it?
here is the original video. i haven’t finished it, but the opening 10 minutes is where she discusses the trend of “suicide endings.”
it definitely made me pause and think about how i’ve approached things in tnp, and definitely made me regret not changing the humanity mechanic sooner.
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chaogongoozles · 5 months
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// vent , journal?, letter to the void to a specific person? Whatever, if ya know ya know//
Didn't think I'd have a close pal choose to be a dirty fucking pig (cop) apologist knowing damn well everything they do and done to marginalized groups, all while trying to tell me "I don't support them!.. but also don't call my coworkers pigs that's disrespectful >:(" bitch??? Blow it out your ass, you wanna fuck around with the pig squad thinking you can 'be a good one' while still supporting them because you work with them? Fine by me, but you're not my friend or ever will be as long as you keep that bluelivesmatter mentality knowing damn well who I am, or who my partner is, or everyone close who has been directly affected by them. Already trying to say the 'negative talk' that cops get is what's the main issue in society™ without wondering WHY so many people fucking hate cops? Or thinking the horrible conditions prisoners are put in is the police 'being underfunded ' when that's by fucking design? Crying that people are calling you horrible shit for being a cop apologist? Boohoo cry me a river, that'll never be nearly as bad as the abuse and deaths millions of people (majority black or Native American) face from the hands of the police.
Damn fucking shame you listened to all the goons around you + those back at home who brought you and your amazing artwork down to the point you even had to work with dirty swine. Thinking that's the only way you can "help people" when you know damn well there's many more opportunities and positions that actually help people (even incorporating your art into it), but instead choosing the very thing that's suppressing us while throwing away your hard work/passions. Fuck you. If you're going to chalk up the horrors that are happening as "fake news/online garbage" or "dumb people recording cops and wondering why they're getting arrested", you're already too far gone.
RIP to the person I once knew and loved. Guess what they say is true, you either grow with friends from childhood/highschool or grow apart. We've obviously grown apart. So good bye.
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roastyoualive · 11 months
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it's also worth noting that while canon warren has a fear of jail cells/confinement, stranger things warren has that AND a hospital phobia
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timeisacephalopod · 1 year
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The perils of loving true crime content but hating when it veers into either Tough On Crime right wing reactionary content or Weird Gratuitous Descriptions of Crimes territory. I find the first far more than the second and it drives me nuts that anyone could think prison will solve violence when prison in itself is a wildly violent place that obviously doesn't work. If it did the US would be Squeaky Clean Crimeless and that ain't true.
Seriously though I love true crime content but these days have such a hard time finding stuff that gives the facts of the story plainly without deciding to advocate for ridiculous prison sentences and a bunch of other copaganda adjacent shit is surprisingly difficult and frankly says a lot about the way we discuss, conceptualize, and react to crime. Especially when a lot of crime is literally just criminalizing addiction, a mental health problem, so fully defending and uncritically advocating for the prison and policing system especially when true crime stories are more often than not stories of police incompetence is just baffling. And no just because true crime tends to mean violent crime that does not mean prison will solve the problem any more than it would solve an addicts addiction and frankly I don't even want an ideological slant I just want the damn facts without right wing shit being evangelized to me. Wonder how many people even notice this shit, because its so ingrained in true crime content that it feels like the only ones who notice are insufferable blue hair pronoun using leftists like myself.
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jade-curtiss · 9 months
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Btw beware about intercepting cop shit sometimes the issues last 😑
#i mean is it disability or just having to deal with casual visits over every damn thing because of certain records#like i mean the attention is overwhelming (the weird thing about cops is that sometimes they are straight up almost flirty)#these cases are the worst tho because it's kind of up against the wall but nothing happens but you know if anything happened either you are#casual about it either well i won't elaborate#or at least this is the impression it gives but I think they just play games because at some point i kinda played along#and he got uncomfortable like so uncomfortable i mean the dude went silent and sat in my stair for over 45 minutes#i did nothing just gave an ok vibe#was enough 😐#maybe he was like really unsure either way he wanted but like we have a bidet bitch#all that when his colleague yelled at my bitch and asked them for a coffee next#some destiny's child was even playing in the bg#we had so much fun 🥺#everyone wanted to bottom especially the yelling one probably like i mean bitch probably on the way to arrest crimes#and we dunno how we got here i mean it was my dad who made the call over a clown thing but a mega one#that's why i kinda hate him#twice#but like he just...i don't know why he prank cops over my case but sometimes parents are insane#i had to go to fed court because he thought he was funny...#like...dude#i wasn't guilty of course but he had to say funny quotes to the cops#and he straight up no helped because he was like “oh shit fuck ohshit oh no but not guilty and work every receipts but oh shit fuck sorry”#when i received the real receipts he almost landed us in a wall ajdjsjsjfjfjd#i mean with car and everything#but in face of things#we figured#this is stupid and keep the circus up#and i won while he went...i mean imagine#i cope as much as i can#bitch just roam around in jacksonville to prance i mean what are you doing here?#i mean i get the very will to die but can you cope better you don't go through the deal bitch eh oh
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so like. fnaf movie. after night five, all outside observers know is "this 30yo guy with severe anger issues + his 10yo mentally ill sister just walked out of his collapsing workplace with an unconscious, stabbed police officer, saying that someone inside the building tried to kill them but we can't get into the building to check. we went to their house and the aunt who was fighting for custody of the child is dead on the floor. the guy's career counselor is missing, as is his babysitter and her family and apparently they're all dead in the building we can't get into." and like. that all looks suspicious as FUCK however we know that in the few-weeks timeskip both mike and abby seem happy and fine so it's not like mike was arrested or anything. he seems to be more adjusted and is happily talking with her teacher so i doubt he's under stress of interrogation or anything
there's a lot of implications there that mike mighta pulled something but it's all circumstantial evidence at best. i'm sure in jane's autopsy and crime scene evidence they couldn't find any evidence of mike being the one to attack her, esp since it was probably just golden freddy bopping her in the head so they dont even have the weapon, and if she was strangled they'd be able to tell it wasn't by bare hands and they couldnt get prints or anyth. especially if golden freddy is a FULL ghost and thus left no trail.
mike would be smart enough to only tell the cops what they need to know without mentioning ghosts to sound crazy. abby might be more honest with the cops just bc of #autism but they'd be more likely to consider her talking about ghosts and imaginary friends as a child's way of coping, and they cant get anything out of her that would incriminate mike. ADD TO THAT that mike has wounds that are clearly defensive and is SUPER banged up and his wounds would likely match his story way better than evidence of him attacking anyone, AND that there's likely footage and witnesses of him being in the pharmacy and then driving to work (and thus not in the area to attack jane), AND if/when nessie wakes up she'll probably vouch for mike as well, and the cops dont have anything on him
though i DO wonder if they would have records of vanessa patching him up in the police outpost. if they do, that would also back up mike's story as it's 1) far away from the aunt jane crime scene, 2) confirms that he and vanessa were working together, so either she's complicit in Crime™ or his story is accurate and she was helping him save his sister. him going to defend her instead of calling backup is also consistent with his personality of getting triggered and jumping into action around child abduction, esp w/ his sibling in danger
considering what abby would probably say, AND the history of freddy's, it's likely that they would come to the conclusion of is "someone [likely the og kidnapper from the 80s] found out that the guy working at freddy's had a sister, kidnapped abby from her house while her aunt was babysitting and tried to recreate the crimes, his story of him and vanessa defending her and escaping vaguely checks out." whether or not mike would incriminate vanessa by mentioning her dad was the killer is up in the air, and there's obviously some huge holes that are left from nobody believing that there are ghosts in the building but that would probably be the eventual conclusion
but throwing that all away, it would be really, REALLY funny if the rest of the town, being really fuckin nosy and getting into the juiciest gossip they've had in decades, took one look at michael "big teddy bear falling asleep on himself" schmidt and said "there's no way. there's no way this guy murdered his aunt, stabbed an officer and then destroyed his own workplace, especially when he really needed that job and was on sleeping medication," and then turned around to look at abby "neurodivergent in the early 2000s (ableist af time period)" "vocally hates her aunt" "doesn't talk to anyone and claims that she can see ghosts" "vaguely possessive of her brother" "claims that she found the guy who hurt her friends and got him jumped by a cupcake(?)" schmidt and said "oh my god. it was her."
and nobody's gonna directly say anything but they've got cautious eyes on the situation and someone quietly slips mike a copy of the bad seed to see if he has a realization but instead he's just like "hey this book kinda reminds of that golden freddy kid lmao. wonder how he's doin" and then we smashcut to golden freddy kid poking springtrap with a stick
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brawltogethernow · 5 months
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is it okay if i ask what the issue with ring doorbell cameras are? i was under the impression that they were helpful for stuff like potential crimes/lawsuits, safety from police misconduct, and protection from people who are there to harass/cause harm to a home owner. what downsides could they have that outweighs the potential good they can do?
(x) Sometimes the people with the cameras...are the ones harassing people. They're a tool: They don't have a moral alignment. I'm sure people with good reasons to surveil their neighborhoods exist, but I have only personally encountered people who really really want an excuse to call the cops on one of their neighbors.
That said, I didn't say it was amoral to have a ring camera. I said it was creep behavior. It's creepy. I just dislike it. I don't like that if I take my coffee out on the front stoop without a bra on at six a.m. three different wealthy older couples I have literally never spoken to are recording it. I don't like that an increasing number of people consider it acceptable behavior to introduce themselves by saying they've noticed while reviewing their RING CAMERA(tm) that you walk your dog every morning at 10:45 but stopped recently. I don't like being flagged down by strangers who are like, "Yesterday someone stole the change out of my car cupholders, and I notice you walked past my driveway yesterday evening.... Why is that?" and having to laugh charmingly and explain my schedule to them because if I don't they're going to try to send police to my house. I did not enjoy humoring the across the street neighbor as she scrubbed through one of her multiple exterior camera feeds on her phone trying to find the culprit who moved her doormat and discovering that it captured my ENTIRE deck until she landed on a frame that finally had some suspicious figures in it and started to get excited until I pointed out that they were us at the beginning of the conversation we were still having.
It just makes me uncomfortable. I have no obligation to think kindly about people who haven't been personally been weird at me yet who ~may or may not~ be deleting most of their surveillance footage without watching it. It's my opinion that recording everybody who walks down your street is a dick move; it's not neutral behavior to degrade people's privacy in shared spaces, and the cons of doing this don't go away if the pros outweigh them.
It's like watching loud videos on your phone on the bus--you don't have to be doing something evil to make some of the people around you passionately hate your guts. If I made anybody feel uncomfortable about having a ring camera that was on purpose. Really just not a fun luxury item people get their grandparents for Christmas I'm a fan of.
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fishfission-dc · 1 year
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Batfamily Powerpoint Night! (Part 7: Damian)
<<Part 6: Steph    |    Part 8: Duke >>
[Masterlist]
Damian: I volunteer to present next.
Steph: Damian’s will either be really boring or really interesting...
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Cass (signing): Really interesting, apparently.
Bruce: Damian, is this appropriate?
Jason: This seems like a cop out for me-
Tim: We get it Jason we know you died
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Dick: Ohhhhh so this is actually thinly veiled love for us all.
Bruce: Hn. (disgruntled appreciation)
Damian: Absurd. I am simply planning you all to combat likely scenarios. For tactical reasons.
Steph: He loves us :)
Damian: Tactical reasons.
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Dick: I AM A GOOD DRIVER
Jason: Debatable.
Barbara: Not that debatable when you see the Gotham City Police Department’s record on his license. 
Dick:  D:
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Barbara: I’ll take that to heart Damian thank you for the concern.
Duke: Who taught Damian what girlbossing is?
Steph: Damian flawless use of that vocabulary.
Damian: Thank you.
Duke: Why did I ask when we all knew the answer.
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Jason: WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET MY MUGSHOT
Duke: Did you dye your hair?
Steph: He’s a natural ginger but he’s just emo about it or something
Jason: THIS IS SO FOUL I HATE YOU GREMLIN
[noises of violence]
Dick: You should consider therapy though like actually 
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Tim: MINE IS A WHOLE NOVEL? AND THE PICTURE??? This is not thinly veiled love this is blatant hatred. 
Damian: You simply have a lot of flaws, Drake.
Jason: Your picture makes me feel a little better about mine.
Dick: Damian is the implication that you’re going to murder Tim for.. being annoying?
Damian: Interpret as you wish.
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Steph: Wow. Fair, but wow.
Barbara: Is that a picture of you in a hostage situation?
Damian: The consequences of one of the aforementioned idiotic decisions.
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Cass (signing): I love you too, Damian. :)
Dick: I’m sensing some aggression
Damian: I sure hope so
Bruce: Hn. (embarrassed but knowing)
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Duke: Is this because of th-
Jason: Yes it’s because of the gang
Duke: I guess that’s fair.
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Tim: Valid.
Steph: Immortal until proven mortal.
[unanimous agreement]
Alfred (from the other room): Thank you, young sir.
<<Part 6: Steph    |    Part 8: Duke >>
[Masterlist]
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irawhiti · 8 months
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please don't tag
hi, i was attacked with a weapon a few days ago and nearly lost my eye, without going into detail it was domestic violence and will probably be charged under aggravated assault with a weapon with intent to cause harm among other things since she attacked other people (without a weapon), screamed death threats, destroyed some of my stuff, and put my bird's life in danger.
i don't know if i'm going to press charges, i fucking hate talking to cops but i don't like my life being threatened a whole lot more. the cops got called by someone else so it's on record either way. if she had the chance i'd be dead, i have a black eye and several open cuts on my eyelid/nose/brow, there's gonna be scarring and the knowledge that i purely got lucky with regards to the type of weapon she grabbed is kind of weighing on me.
can i please get some money to go visit my sister for like a week, the person in question is in voluntary inpatient right now but i don't feel safe due to her having equally violent friends down the road from us and she's gonna have to come back to collect her things at some point anyway.
it's gonna be several hundred bucks (aud) since the cheapest option is to book a round flight (i live 10ish hours away in the middle of nowhere so gas would be more expensive) and i need money for food etc during that visit too. i just need to fucking get out of here for a bit, my mother is defending this person and her actions so i don't feel very safe.
if it means anything i'm a homeless trans person of colour in the middle of the outback so i'm not particularly safe here even outside of the current happenings.
pāypāl.me/hoodypet please specify it's for irawhiti, i'm using a friend's paypal. thanks, arohanui
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captain-mj · 6 months
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Ghost reading Soap's file for some reason, getting to the criminal history section: how in the fcking hell did he get in?
Turns out Soap spent most of his pre teen and teen life in and out of jail, somehow getting into the military. Ghost is now questioning the sanity of Soap. Also questioning why he likes him more knowing this.
Omg... But like the biggest question is what he did right? It can't be something horrible, otherwise he wouldn't be allowed, nor do I personally think Soap would like... do anything too nasty as a teen.
The easiest answer would be theft but honestly? I'm just not seeing it.
And then it hit me. What would be something I could feasibly see Soap doing as a teen?
Harassing the cops. He canonically doesn't really respect cops or people who let authority and power get to their heads. Cops suck. It's perfect.
Soap started by prank calling and tagging their cars. Then it escalated. He made small bombs to cause chaos, filed false reports, and destroyed a lot of records they had (mostly information on people struggling with addiction or sex workers) just to be a menace.
In his spare time when he wasn't in jail, he was definitely in the punk scene. We all know this. So he spent it hanging out with people, probably offering food when he had it, and doing what he could. Definitely knew all of the homeless people in his area by name and they knew his.
In jail, he probably kept his head low like a smart person. That's definitely how he learned to work out and do a lot of his fighting. Also where he found his interests in bombs when he was a preteen.
Ghost, who also canonically hates cops, would definitely be enamored with him even if he was confused on why! He'd think Soap was insane for doing all of this even after going to jail a few times.
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alfredsolos · 1 year
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Most people forget or ignore Duke Thomas, when they talk about the batfamily. And even the ones who include him say that he is the 'normal' one. Some people argue with that, and say that Duke is like the rest of the batkids with the example of him jumping out of a moving car and into a bridge.
Duke is way more than that. So, I complied a list of facts and feats of Duke Thomas. This will most likely be multiple parts.
Duke swear a lot.
Has a record of getting kicked out of schools.
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Knew Leslie Thompkins way before he met the batfamily. She is also the one who found him foster homes.
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His parents are jokerized, that's why he is put to foster homes. He also takes care of them in the mental hospital.
He doesn't trust the police.
He is very sarcastic. Especially to the cops.
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He jumped out of a moving police car and through a bridge. The reason why he was arrested is because he had wore red shoes. In those times, vigilantism was very illegal and appearently red was the symbol of Robin.
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One time, Bruce got amnesia. And Duke, to make him remember, pulled him and himself onto a railway and did not move even when he saw a train coming. Thankfully, Bruce snapped out and pulled them of the rails.
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His mom used to call him Babybird.
Some villains nicknamed him as Babybat.
He understands Joker in a way Bruce never did.
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He doesn't see himself apart of the Batfamily.
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His powers are: He can technically see peoples weak parts through how much power they concentrate to them. He can see glimpses of future, rewind the present time like a video. He has increased healing, super fast reflexes. He can see particles in substences. He can literally see light. He also has a bit of telepathic powers. He can speak and be seen on different frequencies, so he can be invisible or speak in a tone that no one would understand. Invisibility.
To add to it, he did not have shadow powers from birth. A supervillain, kind of mutated his genes so that he could control the darkness.
His mother had powers.
First time he went out as Signal, people hated him.
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He was The Signal, way before discovering his powers. He discovered his powers when his father tried to recruit him to his endeavours.
His father is a supervillain named Gnomon, and he has the same powers as Duke. Gnomon also had a picture of child Duke on his desk.
Bruce gifted him his own base of operation, called The Hatch.
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Bruce called him a gift to the city.
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He is good with Damian.
This is the end of Part 1. I'll continue in Part 2.
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fettuccin-e · 1 year
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Better Than Nine to Five
hi guys i wrote this quite a while ago!! i had trouble with the beginning but, like with most things i write, the words started coming as soon as the characters started coming (get it?? get it cause like cum) but ANYWAY pls enjoy the poly!steddie content!!
Tags: Steve Harrington x Reader x Eddie Munson, established poly, dp in one hole, brief use of sex toys, afab!fem!reader, unprotected piv
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Steve can barely ever get off work these days. He hasn’t been as fortunate in the job market as you or Eddie; the both of you have pretty strict 9 to 5 jobs, able to sit and relax after a day at work, knowing what your schedule will be the next week, and the week after that. Steve’s schedule, at best, is random and wildly inconvenient, working late shifts almost every night and waking up the next day with you and Eddie already gone to work, alone in your shared bed.
He hates it, you and Eddie know he does, but he puts up with it, wanting to help all of you save up for a house, a pretty one that’s the exact opposite of the run-down, shitty apartment that you all live in.
You and Eddie also know, however, that Steve needs a chance to fucking relax for once. And if there’s anything you both know how to do, it’s how to make your sweet, loving Stevie let out some steam.
It’s Eddie who calls Keith and tells him to let Steve out early for the day. “He needs tomorrow off too,” Eddie says, twisting his finger around the phone cord.
“No fucking way, Munson. I’m already doing a favor for him by letting him out today, but he’s coming in tomorrow, whether he likes it or not.”
Eddie opens his mouth to respond, eyes narrowed and angry, but you rip the phone from hics grasp.
“Look Keith, either you let Steve off tomorrow, or I'm going to the cops to tell them about the stash of weed you’ve got in your office. That we an smell it all throughout the damn store. And wouldn’t that just be a crying shame?” you snarl into the receiver.
“It was your freak boyfriend who sold me that shit in the first place!”
You nearly laugh at the high-pitched indignance in his voice. “Are you really gonna tell them that, Keith? Maybe I’ll also throw in the fact that they should probably look into your tax records, right? I bet there are some glaring inconsistencies, aren’t there?”
“You fucking bitc-” You hear Keith stop himself, sighing angrily. You hear a loud crash in the background just before he says, “I’ll let him off tomorrow, but you stay the fuck out of my business, you got that? I’ll-”
“Not a chance, maybe try being less of a shit person. Bye Keith!” You don’t give him a chance to respond, slamming the phone down.
Eddie watches you with wide eyes, before smirking, pupils blown and dark as he grabs your waist to pull you in for a hot, messy kiss. “You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad like that, baby.”
You giggle, reaching a hand up to play with his messy curls. “Gotta stand up for my boys, don’t I baby?” You step away from him, grabbing his hand to drag him to your bedroom. “C’mon, Eds, you gotta get me ready for Stevie, right?”
Eddie nearly faceplants into the carpet in his race to get to the bed.
It’s only an hour later that Steve unlocks the door to the apartment, stripping his vest off. Keith had stumbled out of his office earlier that day, mumbling something about, “go home early, Harrington, shit. Just wait till like, six or something, and you can go.” Steve had been confused, but decided not to question it, his heart galloping at the thought of spending the evening with the both of you for the first time in far too long.
Except the apartment seems almost empty when he walks in, all of the lights off and the living room and kitchen empty, devoid of both yours and Eddie’s presence. His heart drops, only for a second, thinking that he’s alone in the apartment, before he hears a loud, keening whine come from the bedroom.
Your unmistakable whine, followed by Eddie’s familiar whispered praises of “shh… baby I know, I know. It’s a lot, but I think he’s home, did you hear the door open baby? He’s gonna think you’re so pretty baby, so good, planning all this out for him.”
You answer Eddie with a choked sob, and Steve’s pants suddenly are far too tight, cock bulging almost immediately. He goes to open the door, and the sight that greets him almost makes him pass out on the spot.
You, with your hips hiked up in Eddie’s grasp, your flushed face pushed into the mattress as Eddie works his cock into you, his pretty hips slapping against your plush ass. Eddie’s head snaps over to the bedroom door, mouth pulled into a self-satisfied smirk while he keeps fucking you.
“Look, baby,” Eddie grunts, lifting his hand to give your ass a loud smack. You jerk, head turning to see what Eddie wants, and smile blearily at the sight of Steve.
“S-Stevie, you’re, ah, home,” you slur, struggling to get the words out between Eddie’s strong thrusts into your needy pussy.
Eddie watches as Steve’s eyes darken, his big hand moving down to palm at the bulge of his cock through his pants. “She’s been waiting for you, Harrington,” Eddie says, sounding almost like he isn’t fucking you stupid. “She had this all planned out, wanted to surprise you.”
“Well, uh, consider-” Steve coughs, eyes trained on Eddie disappearing into your pretty cunt over and over. “Consider me surprised baby.”
Eddie chuckles, and Steve’s eyes snap from where you both are connected. “Steve, this isn��t even the best part.”
“What?”
“C’mere,” Eddie mumbles, and you whine as he stops his thrusts. Eddie beckons Steve over with a playful finger, and Steve moves next to him, kneeling on the bed to see what Eddie thinks is so important.
Steve nearly chokes on his spit. Because there, in your dripping cunt, is a pretty blue dildo, shoved inside you right alongside Eddie’s cock.
“She wanted to take both of us today,” Eddie whispers into his ear, and Steve can hear Eddie’s smug smile. “Been working her open for the past hour, waiting for you to get home.”
Oh fuck. “Oh fuck,” Steve says, echoing his own thoughts. He smooths a hand over the soft skin of your ass, and you whimper softly.
“You like it?” you ask, almost tentatively, and Steve almost laughs at the absurdity of the question.
“Like it?” Steve says softly. His hand moves from your ass to push lightly on the base of the dildo, making you gasp sharply. “Baby, I love it. God, you’re so fucking hot.”
“You gonna take your clothes off, Harrington?” Eddie murmurs. “She’s been waiting so long for us, it seems cruel to make her wait any longer.” 
Steve follows Eddie’s vaguely concealed demand at an almost frantic speed, ripping off his shirt so fast it gets stuck on his arm for a second. He ignores Eddie’s tiny laugh. He stands off the bed to untie his shoes and shuck his pants off, his hard cock slapping harshly against his stomach. 
“C’mon baby,” Eddie whispers to you, “gotta let Stevie lay down, right? So you can sit on his pretty cock, yeah?” Eddie's mouth waters just a little at the sight of his boyfriend, hard cock glistening and hairy chest heaving. He looks fucking illegal, Eddie thinks. You nod your assent, but still whine as Eddie shuffles back, his cock slipping out of you along with the dildo, leaving you painfully empty for the first time in an hour. 
Steve follows Eddie’s instruction, laying down on the bed, while you kneel up, swinging a leg over his hips to straddle him. You lean forward to brush your lips against his, smiling softly.
“Hi, Stevie,” you whisper, and he smiles back at you, curling his fingers into your hair. 
“Hi, baby,” he whispers back, before crushing his mouth to yours. He feels Eddie grab his cock, notching it up against the entrance of your pussy, and suddenly you’re sinking down, down, sucking him into your sticky walls, making all three of you moan in unison. You and Steve breathe heavily into each other’s mouths as your ass finally meets Steve’s heavy balls, buried all the way inside.
“God, fucking shit, you both are so fucking hot, Jesus,” Eddie grunts from behind you, and you both can hear the unmistakable sound of Eddie’s hand slipping up and down his cock, still sticky with your juices.
You turn, smiling softly at Eddie’s blushing face, his lips parted as he looks at you both. “Eddie,” you whisper, “You can’t cum yet. Y’gotta fuck me too, right baby?”
Eddie curses again, before kneeling behind you, just like he had been a few minutes before. ”You are a fucking minx, you know that?” He mumbles, and you would giggle if it weren’t for the blunt tip of Eddie’s cock nudging against your opening, right beside Steve.
“Ah- Oh God-d” you whine as Eddie’s fat cockhead pops into your stretched out pussy. You thought you would be prepared for it, with the dildo, but you don’t think anything could’ve prepared you for this. Eddie’s sticky cock nudging along Steve’s as he sinks deep into you, Steve’s warm hairy body beneath you, his big hands on your waist while Eddie radiates heat above you.
Steve’s not doing much better, his eyes rolling into the back of his head at the feeling of Eddie’s gorgeous cock squished against his, the hot walls of your pussy strangling the both of them. Eddie’s hands are clutched into the bedsheets beside your sweaty bodies, and Steve takes his hands off your waist for just a second to grab Eddie’s hands, entwining their fingers together to hold onto your waist at the same time. You all take a minute to just breathe, allowing your pussy to adjust to the stretch of both of them.
They’re both whispering breathless praises into your ears, trying to get through to your cloudy brain. “So, so good for us, baby, taking us so good,” and “Can’t believe we’ve got you baby, you’re so pretty, so, so good for us. Y’feel so good, princess, fuck.” You can’t even discern whose voice is whose anymore, lost in a sea of pleasure and nearly-painful fullness, their cocks reaching so deep inside, pressing into every crevice of your sensitive pussy.
And then they start to move.
You try to gasp air into your empty lungs through your screams and cries of pure fucking pleasure, the both of them thrusting in tandem to bully your pretty pussy open for them again and again. Eddie’s face is nuzzled into the crook of your neck, pressing comforting kisses into your skin between whispers of “doing so good, princess,” and “y’feel how wide you’re stretched baby? Fuck, you’re so sexy, sweetheart, how’d we manage to land you?”
Steve’s groaning praises of his own, primal grunts of “so fucking sexy,” and “our pretty, gorgeous baby. God, can’t believe I’ve got you both,” before licking into your mouth in messy kisses.
You knew, even while planning this, that none of you were going to last long, and you’re a strange mixture of pleased and slightly disappointed to learn that you’re right. The knot in your stomach is tight, tightening and tightening as they rock into you, the overwhelming stretch of both of them keeping them pressing into your g-spot. You’re choking on your own spit as moans try to escape your throat. 
It’s going to be over far too soon, but knowing that you can take them both, that you three could do this again, makes your pussy clench, your clit throbbing. 
After only a few minutes of Steve’s and Eddie’s strong thrusts into your dripping cunt, grinding overwhelmingly against the spot that makes you sob, you reach your hands into both Steve’s and Eddie’s hair, your hips jerking uncontrollably.
“I’m gonna, oh God, I-I can’t, I’m gonna,” you gasp painfully, tears leaking down your flushed face, not even able to get the words out, before your pussy is clenching hard around both Steve and Eddie. You’re shaking like a leaf, overwhelmed and wrung dry as Steve and Eddie rub their joined hands up and down your waist.
“Shit, baby, you’re so fucking t-tight,” Eddie whimpers, composure fully lost. “Steve, I gotta-I gotta, gotta cum.”
Steve nods frantically, unable to form words, before he’s releasing one of Eddie’s hands to instead cup around his boyfriend’s head, dragging him down to meet his lips, licking into his mouth over your shoulder. Their hips stutter as they finally, finally cum, flooding  your dripping pussy with a mixture of both of them.
You all breathe heavily for a moment, the room feeling hazy. Like heaven, Steve thinks, this is like heaven. You know you can’t move, feeling drunk and ripped apart, but your boys know it too. They slip gently out of your used pussy, Steve moving you to his side to cuddle you into him gently. Eddie steps out for just a moment, coming back in with a warm, damp cloth.
“Baby, Eds is going to clean you up real quick, okay?” Steve whispers, and you whimper softly, nodding your head, your eyes still closed. Eddie takes the permission to wipe the sweat off your body, and clean up a little of the mess between your legs.
“Good girl, sweetheart,” Eddie whispers when he’s done, pecking you softly on your sleepy lips, before turning to give Steve a quick kiss. He throws the cloth in the hamper, knowing you would hate to make up to it laying on the floor, before laying on the other side of you, pressing himself comfortingly against your naked body. Steve reaches down to tug to the sheets over each of you, and grabs Eddie’s hand to hold, their palms resting atop your warm body.
“Shit, I’m gonna have t’call off work tomorrow,” Steve mutters into your hair.
“Don’ worry bout it,” you slur, sleep already whisking you away. “I took care of it.”
“She did,” Eddie smiles. “I’ll have to tell you about it tomorrow, she was fucking hot.”
“She always is,” Steve smiles, chest hurting with happiness and sheer, unadulterated love. “Our perfect girl.”
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linktoo · 10 months
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kim's responses to you naming the case are making me mental bc they say so much about him. lets break it down
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1. THE HANGED MAN
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ok makes sense. It's the only option you can end up settling on in the end without him asking for another name. he likes how simple and effective it is. Kind of "cool detective" vibes in his book. tbh it's more hilarious in another dialogue path where you end up deciding on the same name
2. THE FURIES ARE AT HOME IN THE MIRROR
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Kim doesn't like fancy poetic stuff.. he likes it cut and dry. as an art cop if you're painting a mural kim still lets you play around with it, but he rolls his eyes and sighs. It's not like he hates all creativity, he later wistfully quotes the moral intern motto "A blue forget-me-not, a piece of the sky". like he just clearly isn't the type for abstract concepts and flowery poetry without a clear point.
This makes me also wonder if this was incorporated conversation when the devs changed the game title from "No Truce with the Furies" to "Disco Elysium".
EDIT: and because I've seen a lot of people bring this up; suggesting this stays with him. Kim does use this name in honour of you if he gets shot at the tribunal.
YOU - What is the name?
HALF-FINISHED PAPERWORK - KK57-0803-0815 (THE FURIES ARE AT HOME IN THE MIRROR)
ESPRIT DE CORPS - Twenty-eight kilometres to the northeast, in the infirmary of Precinct 57, Lieutenant Kim 'Pinball' Kitsuragi rests under a heart monitor. A triage sign coloured yellow hangs from his injury record -- safe, it means. He coughs, propped up against the pillow. ESPRIT DE CORPS - On his right hand side -- a little blue notebook. Open at case notes..
CONCEPTUALIZATION - He went with the 'Furies'. Perhaps the internal strife it implies was not so off after all? Or perhaps to honour your wishes? Or for some other reason. Hard to say...
3. THE SETTING SUN
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we get another technical name that kim likes because it's simple and straightforward but doesn't mean anything about the case. lmfao.
4. SHIT ON A STICK
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kim doesn't like crass humour for no reason. He does give tasteless names to his cases like "THE MAN WITH THE HOLE IN HIS HEAD" but nothing glaringly offensive.
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5. I dont have one
ok this is where it gets funny because now you get to decide if kim gets to say what name he wants for the case.
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1. No.
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he gets fucking pissed and he likes you less
2. Go ahead.
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It's clear how much he likes it. but you don't get any kim reputation points if you let him name it, you get kim points if you approve.
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he gets pissed if you don't like it.
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whether you mock him or not.
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3. Let me guess- the HANGED MAN?
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doesn't matter you beat him to it, this guy gets happy if you suggest the same name as him... lmfao.
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wilwheaton · 3 months
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youtube
I have a small part in the 1987 television movie (failed pilot) version of The Man Who Fell To Earth. Lewis Smith played the titular character. Beverly D'Angelo played my mom, his love interest. (Fun Star Trek connection: Bob Picardo is also in it).
My character was a Troubled Youth, which I gotta tell you was not a stretch for me at all. I was deeply, deeply hurting at the time we made it. I was struggling not to suffocate on all the emotional and financial burdens my mom put on my shoulders, and fully aware of just how much my dad hated and resented me. You need a kid who doesn't want to be an actor, whose eyes can't hide the pain? I'm your guy.
Anyway, one of the scenes I was in took place in a record store, where Troubled Youth steals some albums, before he is chased by the cops and saved by the Man Who Fell To Earth, who uses a glowing crystal to save his life from ... some scratches on his face.
We filmed the interior of the record store at Sunset and La Brea, in what I think was a Warehouse, and at the end of the day, I was allowed to buy some records at a modest discount.
I was deep into my metal years, on my way from my punk years to my New Wave years, so I only bought metal albums. I know I bought more than I needed or could carry (I was making a point that I was allowed to spend my own money, mom), but the only ones I can clearly remember are:
Iron Maiden - Piece of Mind
Judas Priest - Turbo and Defenders of the Faith
W.A.S.P - The Last Command
(I know this was in March of 1987, because Turbo had just come out.)
Of those, Piece of Mind is the only one I never really stopped listening to, even through all the different it's-not-a-phase phases. I still listen to it, today.
Ever since I became an Adult with a Fancy Adult Record Player And All That Bullshit, I have kept my records in two places: stuff I want right now, and stuff I keep in the library because of Reasons.
Generally, records move in one direction toward the library, even if it takes years to happen. I just don't accumulate albums like I once did, because I'm Old and set in my ways.
Earlier today, I decided that I wanted to listen to an album while I cleaned up the kitchen, and because I wanted to make my life more interesting, I opened the library cabinet for the first time in at least five years.
There was the very same W.A.S.P album from that day in March, 1987. I don't have any of the others -- I looked -- but The Last Command was right there.
Before I really knew what I was doing, I put it on the Fancy Adult Record Player and dropped the needle.
I watched four decades of dust build up with a satisfying crackle, and there was something magical and beautiful about hearing all the skips and the scratches, realizing I remembered them from before.
The title track was just as great as I remembered it. It struck all the same chords in me that it did in the late nineteen hundreds. The rest of the first side was ... um. It just didn't connect with me, and for the few moments I spent trying to find a connection, I don't think it ever really did. I would remember.
But I did remember how much I loved making those mix tapes, and what a big part of them that song was. I did remember how empowering it felt to not just spend my own money that I earned doing work I didn't want to do, but to spend it on music my parents hated, right under their noses. I did remember how impressed Robby Lee was, when I showed him my extensive heavy metal album collection.
Remembering all of that, in one of those cinematic flashes of rapid cut visuals and sped up sounds, told me why I kept this record, while I gradually sold or replaced the other records I bought that day with CDs, then mp3s, then lossless digital files, before finally coming all the way back to records, where I started.
I didn't listen to the second side. I didn't need to. I took it off the Fancy Adult Record Player, and put it back into the library, next to the George Carlin records.
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rebelfell · 6 months
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The Third Date
Eddie Munson x Anorgasmic!Reader
When you move back to Hawkins after graduating college, you find yourself reconnecting with an old friend in a new way. Your first two dates with Eddie Munson are everything you’d ever dreamed, but the next one has you unraveling.
Part One. Part Two.
cw: childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, fem!reader, deceased parent, mentions of poor sexual experiences, some drinking, sexual anxiety, making out, fingering, panic attack, eddie being sweet and reassuring, fluffy ending.
I was kinda in my feelings and needed Eddie to tell me all the right things. Sue me. 18+, MDNI 7k
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You used to like this mirror.
It was vintage. Full length with an ornate gold frame, swirling embellishments on the top and sides. Not to mention it was a fucking steal at $10 from an estate sale. You’d liked it enough to make it one of the scant number of things you hauled all the way back to Hawkins when you moved out of your shoebox apartment in the city.
Right now, though? You kind of hated it. 
Usually, standing before it made you feel stately and elegant, even if all you had on was ratty denim shorts and a threadbare t-shirt riddled with holes and bleach stains. Yet here you were in one of your favorite outfits, hair meticulously styled, face glowing and dewy after spending an hour on it, and all you felt was ridiculous.
Not the mirror’s fault, technically. But it was the messenger. It told you at every twist of your hips, at every outfit change, at every pluck and tug of your clothes, that you were never going to look right—that you were never going to feel right. And it mocked your every failed attempt to do so.
You inhale, breath shallow and shaky as you try yet again to calm down. It’s just a date, you remind yourself. It’s just a date and he’s just a guy. There’s nothing to be worried about. 
Except it wasn’t just a date. It was the auspicious Third Date.
And it certainly wasn’t just a guy…it was Eddie.
This was something you’d been waiting for forever. For longer than forever. For longer than you could count. Eddie Munson was your oldest and dearest friend. Growing up, you were like each other’s second heads—facing the worst of what small minds in a small town in Indiana cooked up. You stood, middle fingers brandished like swords, dreaming of a wider world.
It felt strange to think this would only be your third date when you’d basically been dating since you were thirteen. You went to movies together, wasted weekday afternoons at the record store, lounged on the gravelly bank of Lover’s Lake reading well-worn paperbacks—Two Towers for him, Dorothy Parker for you. He begged you to sit in on Hellfire when he started the club your junior year and only had three members, himself included. He’d sneak you into the dive bar where his band played Tuesday nights, and you would immediately stick out among the five drunks who assembled every week. But as long as all you ordered was ginger ale and swore up and down you weren’t a cop, the bartender let you sit there all night to watch him.
Nights never ended the way “real” dates did. No hands being held as he walked you from his van to your doorstep; no kisses under flickering porch lights scored by a cricket symphony.
He never touched you too much, always quick to withdraw his hands when they lingered on your hip or back or arm. That would change, though, if he smoked or drank a bit and his cuddly side came out. Secretly, you longed for these times. You reveled in having his chin rest on your shoulder or his arms wind around your waist to hold you close. It never felt gross or crossed the line into groping like with other, lesser, guys looking for something to fondle. With Eddie, it felt more like he was showing you how he wished he could be all the time.
At least that’s what you let yourself imagine. 
He always apologized the following day, just short of castrating himself over it. It made you want to slap him. Slap him and then kiss him and slap him again. How could he not get it? How could he not see how goddamn in love with him you were? How could he not feel the same way? You waved him off, assuring him he hadn’t done anything wrong. All the while thinking, you fucking idiot, and not even knowing if you were referring to him or yourself.
Then came graduation. Or rather, your graduation and his sullen admission he wasn't eligible, which lead to the longest, most difficult conversation of your lives so far. It wasn’t even a conversation so much as it was you swinging wildly between reactions—scolding him for not telling you sooner; grasping at the straws of extra credit assignments your teachers would never assign; volunteering to stand guard while he broke into the administration office.
Eventually, though, you had to face the reality of losing him and it left a prominent break in your heart. Your acceptance letter to a school in Indianapolis that used to make you feel weightless, like you could finally fly out of here, now felt more like chains dragging you away.
You had half a mind to take him with you. You must have rehearsed the speech you wanted to make something like fifty times. Screw Hawkins, you’d say. Screw their closed minds and their disdain for anything even a little different. He could get his GED—you’d help him, happily. He could find work in the city and take community college classes or go to trade school. The two of you could live together and watch slasher movies every Friday night, falling asleep on his chest when you got tired just as you’d done all throughout high-school.
Of course those thoughts inevitably spiraled into what would happen once he started dating. A bigger city meant a bigger pool of people, all with the potential to realize the kind, sweet, caring boy who was bursting with passion for his fantasy games and music and his other rich interests was actually a massive catch and not a social pariah. In no time, it would be someone else falling asleep on his chest and you watching them be carried to his bed.
You couldn’t bear the thought of that. Maybe even moreso, you couldn't bear the thought of asking him to come with you and him saying “no.”
So, you went alone. You packed up your car with the barest necessities, you kissed your dad goodbye and said you’d see him at Christmas. But it was Eddie who saw you off, taking you into his arms and holding you there with your head tucked under his chin. You buried your face in his chest, tears leaking onto the patches you’d helped him sew on his denim vest. He told you how proud he was and how much he was gonna miss you. He said to write. To send pictures.
All you could do was sniffle.
At college, you tried expanding your horizons. You joined a couple clubs to make new friends and started going to parties. You met people like Carl. And even though he was handsome and seemed nice enough, you turned him down when he asked you to dinner. It wasn’t until much later, when your roommate scolded you for doing so, that you even felt some doubt about it. What was even the point when you knew he wasn’t what you wanted?
Except what you wanted might never be yours.
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That first trip home to Hawkins was wildly unnerving. You knew it hadn’t actually been that long since you left. But why did it feel so strange that everything felt exactly the same? Had you really changed so much already that your home no longer felt like home? 
Even seeing Eddie again felt like rupturing old wounds you thought had successfully scabbed over. You withdrew from him without even realizing you were doing it. He knew something was wrong, but didn’t dare voice it. His greatest fear loomed: you were done with Hawkins. 
Done with him.
It took a while to strike the balance between the old and the new. You’d run away so fast and tried to overwrite everything in your life, returning to Hawkins felt like entering a fantasy world. And Eddie became like an apparition, a specter of everything you missed most. 
You started writing to him more, sharing stories about your classes, gossip in the dorms, drunk adventures in the city. And he wrote back, telling you all about the new members of Hellfire who also happened to play instruments and were eager to replace the members of Corroded Coffin who had graduated and moved away. Eventually, the letters became more like a diary. 
You could confess things you’d never imagined telling anyone—stuff about your mom and how you’d spent every day wondering if she’d be proud of you; how you worried about your dad and wondered if he would ever get over her; how you feared you might never find love like theirs and even if you did, how it might be taken away from you like it was from them.
And he confessed back to you. Amidst his ideas for new D&D campaigns and song lyrics, he gave you deeper insight on things you knew already—his father’s sordid criminal history and his mother’s inability to cope, which led to her dropping Eddie on his uncle’s doorstep at the ripe old age of eleven. Reading about Hawkins through his eyes made it feel more real and less like a dream you’d woken up from. It kept that connection open, a bridge between your worlds, so  you could experience college and all the new things it had to offer, but still felt connected.
Then the end of your sophomore year brought more bad news. 
Again, he wasn’t eligible. Again, he wasn’t graduating.
You’d not been able to let go of that fantasy of him joining you at school. Every time you walked across the quad, leaves crunching beneath your boots, sunlight dying as it dipped behind the old brick buildings and cast everything in a hazy golden autumn glow, you imagined a pair of clean, white sneakers next to yours and a ringed hand squeezing your fingers.
He promised you this was his year. Swore it, in fact. ‘86, baby! he’d scrawled big and messy under his signature at the end of one of his letters. And maybe it would. He said he was doing better—army crawling his way towards a D in Mrs. O'Donnell's class, already planning how he would snatch his diploma and flip the bird at the principal as he walked the stage.
He was certain enough it made you start to believe it too.
You never dared to broach the subject of what he wanted to do after graduation. He hadn’t mentioned applying to any colleges or looking for work. The rest of the band was graduating with him. Maybe they’d all move here to get more exposure. Maybe they wanted to record a demo they could pass out to record companies. Or maybe Eddie wanted to go solo.
The lack of information made you antsy. Was he being decidedly cagey about his plans? Was he hiding something? Or was he just afraid of disappointing you again?
It was nearing the end of the school year when you finally broke. You had to see him.
For once, your spring breaks were going to overlap. You blew off your classes on Friday to make the drive and managed to get to Hawkins High just as the final bell was ringing. His van still sat in the parking lot and you pulled in alongside it to wait, practically jumping out of your skin with excitement. Thirty whole minutes crawled by before you finally spotted him.
He emerged from the woods at the back of the practice sport fields, chattering with ease to maybe the last person on earth you would have expected to see.
Chrissy Cunningham was just as pretty as she’d always been. She was a couple years behind you and Eddie in school, but everyone knew of her from the moment she made the varsity cheer squad as a freshman—a staggering feat no one else had ever managed. She still had the same bouncy ponytail, the same enormous eyes and cherubic cheeks you imagined must ache at the end of each day from her constant smiling. And she was somehow smiling even wider than normal at whatever Eddie was saying as he grinned back at her.
It made your stomach churn thinking what they could have been doing to have her smiling like that. You knew he’d started dealing for Reefer Rick to earn extra money, but in what universe would the queen of Hawkins High be struck with the urge to buy a bag of skunky weed? 
Unless it wasn’t weed she was after at all.
Panic doused your body. You jammed your key back in the ignition and sped out of the lot, praying he didn’t see you. You drove straight back to school, tears streaming down your face for the entire journey, making you hate yourself more with every salty trail that stained your cheeks. Because what else did you expect? For him to pine for you like you did for him? For him to be like you and not date anyone, ever? To keep everyone who even attempted to get close at a distance? Reserving a space in your heart for someone who might not even want to fill it?
You loved him more now than you ever had. Even without seeing him every day, even without having him constantly at your side. If anything, it had gotten worse. Your feelings piled up within you just as his letters did in your room. They all lived in a box under your shitty dorm bed to be pulled out over and over and over so you could parse every line for hidden meaning. Crying at his words, so heartfelt and honest you didn’t even notice the grammatical and spelling errors.
By the time you got back to campus, you felt raw and spent. Your face was streaked with tears and you were breathless from crying. For days, you walked around campus like a ghost until you bumped into Carl, the only other soul not off on some debaucherous Spring Break trip. And when he asked you for seemingly the hundredth time if he could buy you dinner…you said yes.
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It came in the mail a few months later. Your address scribbled messily on an invitation to the Hawkins High Class of 1986 graduation. Eddie had included a photocopy of his final grades and written “proof it’s not a clerical error” with a little smiley face in the corner.
You called him that night to tell him how proud of him you were. And you were proud of him. So unbelievably proud. But when he asked if you were coming, you lied. You said your boyfriend’s parents would be in town and that he wanted you to meet them. You told him how sorry you were, all the while thinking Chrissy could congratulate him enough for the both of you. 
And in spite of yourself…you let yourself pretend you heard a little dejection in his voice when you used the word “boyfriend”—fictitious as it was.
The truth was, you’d only been officially dating Carl for a couple weeks. And he was perfectly nice. He’d kissed you and it felt fine. It didn’t quite live up to what you believed it should feel like, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe what you imagined wasn’t realistic. Maybe what you thought it should be wasn’t feasible.
Maybe you just had to let that go.
And dating Carl was simple and uncomplicated. It served a purpose. It made you feel at least like you weren’t languishing in a wasteland of your unrequited feelings. It made you feel like you were trying. Sure, the sex wasn’t great. But you hardly expected it to be good for you. 
You’d hooked up with the odd guy here and there over the years. It was a pattern that began with some guy you met downtown whose assignment was to keep you occupied while his friend put the moves on your roommate. You were a little drunk and a lot lonely, so you’d gone along with it. It was quick. A little uncomfortable. It certainly didn’t make you eager to repeat the experience. But at least you could say you’d done it.
Part of you thought maybe it would get better, but it never did. 
Even guys you thought were decent at first were quick to gloss over the preamble and lead up, jumping straight to stuffing themselves inside you with no regard to your winces of discomfort. It didn’t take long before you started to assume you had to be the problem. Even by yourself, it took you ages to reach any sort of precipice. And even when you did, even when you felt your heart rate rising and your body heaving in response, the pay-off was…underwhelming.
With Carl, you thought it could be different. Maybe you needed a deeper connection; maybe you needed a few times to get comfortable with someone to properly ascend that peak. But the more you did it with him, the less attainable that seemed. Maybe you were just broken. 
You also tried not to dwell on the fact that the only times you ever got close were when you pictured a different face hovering over yours; when you imagined your fingers twisted up in dark, shaggy curls; when you visualized pale skin littered with tattoos and sinewy arms caging you in; when you lit that one candle you only bought because it reminded you of Eddie’s cologne.
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The decision to move back home turned out to be less a decision and more a necessity.
A whole year out of school and you’d had truly terrible luck finding a job—at least a decent one that actually wanted to pay you. Carl, ever the charmer, wondered why you even wanted to work when you’d just wind up quitting when you got married. Really, you appreciated it. It was exactly the kind of comment you needed to jolt you out of a relationship that had been on autopilot.
You were a mess. Lost. Aimless. Barely treading water. Wishing you could call the one person you knew would cheer you up, but unsure if it would only result in more heartache. In the blink of an eye, it had been over five years since you left home and it was starting to feel like your only accomplishments were breaking up with your boyfriend and buying a mirror.
Then came the call from your dad.
He’d taken a nasty fall at his hardware store. He was fine, for the most part. But he was now significantly weaker and would have to have surgery as well as physical therapy after. And he certainly couldn’t run his store anymore. It had never run particularly smoothly to begin with and his books left something to be desired—another thing you’d be helping with once you moved back. He never outright asked you to do so, but he also didn’t have to.
The only good news was the bad news: a massive fire that disintegrated Starcourt Mall had led to an influx of renovations to the downtown area. In the wake of the mall’s destruction came a resurgence in small businesses that breathed life back into the desolation the mall caused.
It was in this newly resurrected downtown where Eddie was making his mark. He had opened a hobby shop where he still hosted his weekly D&D games with a lot of the kids who had originally been in his club. His store became like a beacon for all the kids (and even some of the adults) in Hawkins who felt there was no place for them. Eddie gave them somewhere to belong and celebrated all the things that made them targets of ridicule to everyone else.
It was also your first stop on your first day back.
The whole shop was so Eddie. As you walked inside and took in the decor, it seemed entirely possible he had just moved everything from his bedroom at Wayne’s right in here. He’d even rigged the entrance with a speaker that played the guitar riff of “Enter Sandman” when someone came through the door. 
You wished you could bottle the moment he came out front, your arrival signaled by the song.
“Holy shit…”
The box of miniatures and figurines he’d just finished pricing in the back fell to the floor with a thump and a rattle of plastic parts. He barely registered it, though. With round, unblinking eyes he stared, too stunned to move a muscle until a smile cracked his face wide open.
In just three long strides he crossed the store and swept you into his arms, lifting you up and whirling you around. “You’re here!” he gushed, arms crushing you around the middle in the most exquisite pain. “You’re really here!”
“I told you I was moving back!” 
You laughed heartily in his ear as he placed you back on the ground, telling yourself it must have been the unexpected lift making you breathless and not how the sunlight coming through the windows hit his eyes and made them shine like molten honey. He kept you close, letting his hands rest on your arms and squeezing them like he had to be sure you weren’t a mirage.
“I thought it was one of those ‘too good to be true’ things,” he said sheepishly, a pink blush creeping across his cheeks. “Had to see it to believe it.”
“Well, believe it,” you sighed.
You were already prepared for the loss of his touch, for when he would shamefully retract his hands, but he never did. He held you comfortably, his thumb lightly brushing over your skin. He let you go reluctantly, not regretfully, letting his fingertips trail softly down your arm.
“It’s so good to see you,” he said, his voice coated in warmth. “I missed you so much.”
You nodded, your throat pinched as you tried not to cry. “I…I missed you too.”
Eddie’s smile grew even bigger, his eyes seeming to dance with excitement. “Well, we have to celebrate,” he said. “I close up shop at six. Meet me back here and we’ll go to the Hideout?”
You stalled, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you considered. Almost on instinct, you’d nearly agreed right away. Old habits and what not. But did you want to fall immediately back into your old patterns? Hawkins had changed so little since you left, it felt too easy to slip back into the trap. Could you really go right back to hopelessly pining for him as you’d done so long?
“Come on,” Eddie urged, flashing those doe eyes he knew you couldn’t resist. “It’s one drink.”
“Okay, okay!” you laughed. “One drink.”
One drink turned out to be three. Starting with your first legal drink together at his old haunt while a different band of hopeful kids fumbled their way through clumsy Metallica covers.
“Please tell me we were never that young,” Eddie sighed, taking a swig of his beer.
“You’ve never been young,” you teased. “You came out of the womb a crotchety old man.”
A little later, you absconded to the corner booth and tucked yourselves away from the rowdiness of the growing crowd. You were flushed from the alcohol buzzing in your bloodstream and from how close Eddie was sitting. It felt just like old times, except it was nothing like old times.
Because this time, he was flirting with you. And not being subtle.
You thought maybe you were imagining it at first, but it only became more obvious the longer the night wore on. There was a whole new confidence and intention in the way he talked to you. He’d never been shy, never had any trouble drawing people in, but there was a fire lit behind his eyes tonight you’d never seen before. And you were the sole object of that blaze.
“So…still with Carl?” He finally asked, after bolstering himself to do so for the last three hours.
You took a long sip of your drink, eyes never leaving his over the rim of your glass. The liquor made you bold, the burn at the back of your throat adding smokiness to your voice.
“No-pe,” you said, popping your lips on the final syllable. Eddie smiled wolfishly and leaned in.
“Good,” he purred. “Cos that would have made it real awkward when I asked you out.”
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He took you to dinner two days later. Rang the doorbell and smiled at you as he stood on your porch wearing a black button down under a darker black velvet vest. His black jeans were a new- looking pair of the same kind he’d always worn, sans the ragged holes over his knees.
Despite the thin material of your sundress and the balmy weather outside, you were sweating with nerves. The breeze played with your skirt as he walked you to his van and the coolness of it on your clammy skin made you shiver. But when Eddie suddenly darted ahead of you to open your door and turned around with his hand held up to help you inside, it made you melt. 
The gesture filled your body with warmth, chasing away any hint of a chill.
After dinner, he suggested you walk a block or so to a bar where Eddie liked to play pool. And as you did, his hand reached for yours and he threaded your fingers together. You stared down at it, stunned. How many times had you wished he would do that? How many times did you imagine the heat of his palm against yours mixing with the coolness of his chunky silver rings on his fingers? It had always seemed so impossible and he’d just done it.
Like it was nothing. Like he’d done it a thousand times before. Easy. Natural.
He held your hand all the way into the bar, only letting go of you to accept a tray of balls from the bartender when Eddie requested a table. With a couple of beers in hand, you followed him to his favorite one that was tucked away in a little alcove, practically private.
You set down the beers and watched as he racked the balls, gaze lingering on his long frame and chuckling at the way he shimmied his hips as he leaned over the table to break. “Eyes on me,” he told you, playful smile revealing his teeth.
It was a redundant request, because it was entirely impossible to look anywhere else.
Eddie had filled out quite a bit since high-school. He was never an athlete by any means, but evidently a regime of guitar playing and dice throwing was enough to maintain decent tone. You stared at him unabashed as he walked around the table, lining up his shot. His vest now flapped open and he’d rolled up his shirtsleeves to reveal the familiar smattering of bats under his elbow and the puppetmaster etched inside his forearm. It made you wonder how many more tattoos—new ones you’d not yet seen—were hiding under the rest of his clothes. He smirked at you, smug as he leaned over the table, thoroughly enjoying the way your eyes followed him.
“See something you like, sweetheart?” he drawled before sinking a bank shot.
You rolled your eyes, trying to fein being unimpressed. “Trying to distract me, Munson?” you asked, chalking the tip of your cue in a much more sensual manner than necessary, letting your fingers lazily stroke the stick as Eddie watched transfixed. He huffed a laugh at the display.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
Evidently, both of you were equally distracted. Most of your games lagged for a mutual inability to sink more than one shot in a row as the other did their best to pull focus. It was far easier for you, having only to lean forward slightly across the table from him to reveal a healthy dose of your cleavage. That, coupled with a coy smile and batting eyelashes, spelled disaster for Eddie. Everytime you did it, he’d scratch his shot and chuckle dryly at his own hubris.
He took a different approach, choosing instead to stand as close to you as he could as you lined up your shots. His musk and cologne filled your nose, a tantalizing woodsy smell that made your head spin as you struggled to keep your eyes on the ball. He rested his hip against the table, handcuff belt buckle glinting as it reflected the light from the lamp hanging overhead.
You could practically hear the childish taunt of not touching you, not touching you.
“Just take your shot, baby,” he cooed, low and husky. The sound made your heart hammer.
A couple hours of teasing and toying later, both of you were ready to explode. Your glasses sat empty on the nearby table, neither of you terribly interested in a refill. And as Eddie sunk the eight ball again, his eyes flashed to the tray for the balls rather than going to re-rack them.
“I guess I should get you home?” he asked.
A little sullen at the idea, you nodded and returned your cues to a rack on the wall while Eddie brought the balls back to the bartender and settled the tab. Only when you were walking back to the table to get your purse and passed a pair of men who reeked of tobacco did something occur to you: Eddie hadn’t taken a smoke break once.
“Did you quit?” you asked, staring at him with wide eyes. He smiled as he drew nearer to you, relishing the way your chest heaved as you reacted to his closeness.
“Took a couple years, but yeah,” he said. “Sometimes I still need a little help, though.”
He tugged his shirttail out from the waistband of his jeans, causing his belt and the chain on his wallet to jingle slightly as he lifted his shirt to flash a strip of his stomach. You’re so distracted by the action and the cut of his v-muscle it takes a few seconds to register the beige nicotine patch stuck on his hip. You stared at him and then back at it, fingers itching to reach out and touch.
He leaned in, his face the closest it had been to yours all night, his voice hushed so only you could hear. “For when I’m really nervous,” he said.
Streetlights and stars blurred as you stepped out of the bar and he whirled you into the alley. The rough brick scraped your back and snagged on your dress as you were flattened against it and you gazed up at Eddie, string lights overhead shining brightly in your eyes.
“Are you ready?” he asked softly. “Are you ready for this to start?”
You swallowed hard, feeling the weight his eyes trained on your face. Your hands settled lightly on his waist and you gave an impatient tug as you nodded. It was all the invitation he needed. 
His mouth met yours like the sun met the horizon. The softest kiss you’d ever had deepened gradually until you were grasping at him, fisting his shirt in your fingers. Your lips felt molded together, pliant to the other’s movements, but still insistent as they chased one another.
Control shifted subtly between you, taking turns drawing the other in and pulling back. More teasing, more toying. Yet you never denied each other long, unable to stay apart.
God, this was it. This was what it was always supposed to feel like.
It could have been hours you stood out there kissing and laughing, but you’d never have known. The only thing that alerted you to the passing of time was when the lights inside the bar shut off and the employees filed out for their final smoke break before heading home.
Giggling like terrible criminals begging to be caught, you and Eddie hugged the shadows and made your way back to his van. You rode home with your panties soaked, subtly shifting in your seat, trying not to think about the arousal pooled between your thighs. And at home, back in your room, you were so tempted to dip your fingers into the slickness as you thought about Eddie’s breath on your lips; how the ends of his curls tickled your sternum when he leaned into you; the way his scent lingered on your skin after being pressed between his body and that wall. 
But you didn’t dare risk the disappointment that would follow when your pleasure receded like waves being drawn into a riptide; when you backed down from the edge of that cliff, feeling even emptier after not reaching that peak. Again. No, you couldn’t spoil this night with all that.
You saw him more throughout the week. He started popping into your father’s store almost as soon as it opened, offering you coffee and a kiss. And he spent the first hour of the morning with you at the front counter, propped up on his elbow with his chin resting on the heel of his hand.
“Don’t you have anything better to do?” you asked, swatting him with a folded up newspaper after you finished doing the jumble together.
He just shrugged with all the casual ease of somebody whose own shop didn’t open until 11. Or noon if he was hungover. “What could be better than hanging out with my favorite girl?”
Favorite girl. The words lived in your brain all day. It made you positively giddy every time you thought about it, even causing you to accidentally enter a customer’s 15% discount as 51% and not even bother correcting it. The loss on a value pack of paint brushes and trays seemed a paltry fee for the smile that spread across old Mrs. Gershwin’s face when she saw her total.
Eddie started calling every night at 9:30, practically on the dot, and it didn’t take long for you to get in the habit of settling into your bed around that time so you could pick up the receiver in your room before the ringing disturbed your dad dozing in his recliner downstairs. 
“So when do I get to take you out again?” he asked, clearly not oblivious to how it made you melt on the other end of the line. 
You blushed your way through making arrangements for an early movie Saturday followed by dinner. Then, before beginning the long process of saying your goodnights, you paused to ask him the thing you’d been wondering since that night at the Hideout.
“Eddie…are we really doing this?” you asked, torn between giddiness and trepidation.
“I certainly am,” he hummed into the receiver.
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He talked the whole way through the movie and still had more to say at dinner afterward. 
It didn’t bother you, though. You loved listening to him talk. Your ears had gone so long without his rambling, it was more like music than words. His feet toyed with yours under the table and after you ordered dessert, he excused himself to use the bathroom only to slide into your side of the booth when he came back. You giggled over tiramisu and cheesecake, your sides pressed together from shoulder to ankle. Later, the tastes of your desserts would mix in your mouths as he kissed you deeply in his car dropping you off.
Everything about it felt so alive. So ripe with the promise of what this could turn into, what it had already become. In two dates with Eddie, you felt more connection than you had in two years of dating Carl. Not that it was fair comparing them. Nothing and no one could ever compare to this.
It was a Wednesday when he made a new proposition. You had already crawled into bed and swathed yourself in blankets to wait for his call. And after the few customary minutes of talking about your respective days, he brought up his idea for Friday night.
“Would you want to come over here for dinner?” he asked.
“You…you mean like your place?”
“I was thinking mine, but if your heart is set on a neighbor’s, I’m sure breaking in wouldn’t be too difficult.” He’s smirking so hard you swear you can hear it over the phone. 
“I guess yours will do,” you chuckled. “Does this mean I’ll get to see The Hair in person?”
Eddie was living with Steve Harrington, which had taken a commanding lead for being the most confusing thing you’d learned since returning home. Apparently they’d been brought together by a shared friendship with Dustin Henderson, one of the kids from Hellfire Eddie had taken under his batwing during his third and final senior year. Dustin had spent months insisting both boys would get along if they only gave the other a chance until his badgering paid off.
Now, the pair shared a tiny apartment downtown, walking distance from Eddie’s shop and only a short drive to Family Video where Steve was now the manager. And Dustin evidently couldn’t go five minutes without congratulating himself for bringing the two of them together. Eddie liked to joke that they were now co-parenting the little shithead (affectionate).
“Actually, Steve is out of town this weekend,” Eddie said, struggling to contain his excitement and keep his cool. “So, we’ll have the place to ourselves.”
Breathe, breathe, breathe. “Oh, yeah?” you said, voice spiking just an octave too high.
“Yep. And, um…you could stay over if you wanted? If that sounds good to you?”
Stay over. You knew what that meant. There was something gut wrenchingly endearing about the way he asked—the innocent peal of his voice. But there was no doubt in your mind what he was getting at. This wasn’t going to be like crashing on his couch after a movie night or pouring yourself into his bed after a Corroded Coffin show that lasted to the wee hours.
This would be something new. Something completely different.
“That sounds great,” you said, finally.
And it did sound great. It just also sounded a little terrifying.
Admittedly, you hadn’t been on many dates in your life. But television and film had successfully indoctrinated you with knowledge of that classic Third Date milestone. And it made sense. He wasn’t some stranger. You’d known each other for so long, it stood to reason things would continue to accelerate between you.
And was that such a bad thing? 
This was Eddie, after all. He was your best friend. He was your other half. You weren’t sure if  you even believed in soul mates, so to speak, but if they did exist you couldn’t imagine anyone besides him in that role. He had stoked life into the coals within you that you were certain had burnt into a lump of ash. You never felt with anyone the way you felt with him. 
So if you were gonna do this, you were gonna do it right.
You went shopping, fighting off anxious nausea as you perused the racks of lingerie in the far corner of a little boutique. Averting your eyes from the more salacious options, you settled on a matching set of midnight blue embroidered with silver thread to look like stars. It was made of thin mesh that gave the illusion of coverage, but revealed plenty through the sheer netting.
It also looked a little like something a wizard might wear. And for obvious reasons, you had a feeling Eddie might like that. 
Securing your purchase you thought might make you feel more prepared, but it only caused your thoughts to unravel further. This was the first time Eddie would be seeing your underwear and it wasn’t even your own. At least it didn’t yet feel like your own the way your drawer full of less suggestive garments did. What if he thought you looked ridiculous? What if he laughed or got turned off because your thighs were too big or the pudge of your stomach grossed him out? Worse yet, what if you failed to live up to the implications? What if he saw it and assumed you knew what you were doing, only to be woefully disappointed by your skills? Or lack thereof?
It was impossible to reconcile the two wolves fighting for dominance in your mind. On the one hand, it was wildly exciting: the thought of finally getting to be with him and touch him and have him touch you back. At the same time, though, you were overwhelmed at the prospect. What if it changed things between you? You’d always thought you wanted more than friendship with him, but what if in that pursuit you lost the person you treasured more than anything in the world?
And then of course there were the normal fears. 
After so much unfulfilling sex, you couldn’t help but be fearful your body would betray you as it always had. It was hard not to pin all your hopes on this and you didn’t want to add any more pressure to this night than you already felt. But even if you backed off that peak and failed to reach the summit, surely the ascent would feel just as nice as long as it was with him. 
Right?
This was what you tried to tell yourself as you turned one last time in front of your mirror. 
Literally everything about this night was making you uncomfortable and it hadn’t even begun yet. The lingerie that felt fine when you bought it was tight and itchy on your skin, and it felt glaringly obvious you were wearing it under your clothes—like a diaper or a straightjacket.
You’d shaved, even though it made you feel like a creepy bald Barbie, and even though you found the concept kind of disturbing. Whose brilliant idea was it anyway that to be sexy you had to look like a child between your legs? And you always wound up completely bare because you could never get it even and kept having to take more from each side until nothing was left.
Still, you did it. Because that was what everyone did, right? That’s what he would expect?
Shaking your head, trying to fling away all your thoughts, you busy yourself packing your small overnight bag. It was the same one you must have brought over to Eddie’s a hundred times over, but for the first time you found yourself doubting it. Would he think you were high maintenance for wanting your own toothbrush and a change of clothes? For bringing something comfortable to sleep in? Would he think you were a weirdo for not just sleeping naked? God, what if he saw it and figured you’d been sleeping with so many guys, you just kept it packed all the time?
Panic creeps up the back of your neck. It burns hot on your cheeks and makes your heart pound in your temples until you’re so dizzy you have to lean against the door with your head bent.
Breathe, you think. Breathe, breathe, breathe. 
Frustratingly slowly, the thrumming in your chest subsides. You managed to bring yourself down off the ledge and find your center—Eddie.
Eddie would make everything alright. 
He always did.
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Part Two
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