#fuck it im not rereading this anymore im sending it out into the world
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vent under cut
sometimes i hate relying on new works as a source of sustenance (like food or drink). like the lack of things to go "hehehehehehe" over can cause me to get a little depressed from lack of stimulants. works that ive seen before don't have the same affect on me (maybe due to the oversaturated culture of today warping my brain but whatever) and works i make myself don't do that either. something i make doesn't have the same flavour as something someone else makes, there's different spices in our spice racks.
and trust me the last thing I'd want is to be a whiny bitch begging for "content" like people like that can fuck off. I'd rather train my brain to not rely on The New™ and be happy with the older, less shiny works. because im aware the oversaturation and fast paced "content" cycle online is ruining peoples brains.
but at the same time, fuck shit can get stale. i rarely ever read my favourite fanfiction anymore because i can quote it word for word at some points. also i dont have the energy to read. deadass wish i could overcome my damn readers block so i could reread shit I haven't read in a while (the refresh has a similair affect to The New™). hyperfixations are fun but when you're in a "content" drought* it can be exhausting. ESPECIALLY when all of that is paired with creative blocks which mean i can't create my own shit. like all of this is caused by my dumb ass being depressed basically.
you know i can't even think of asks to send people? i can't think of shit to post? i want to supply you all with my thoughts but i ain't got nothing to share and it's stressing me out. ive been tempted to sit down and just make a few meme templates because that's easy and makes y'all smile but that niche seems to be saturated enough and i don't want to seem like a copycat
I've had sporadic bursts of motivation to write but not any of my main fics. stupid little plays on popular tropes where a light fury is the mc and it's like hidden world but better and just. frivolous sue nonsense which is really fun (i love frivolous sue nonsense it's so therapeutic) but i end up putting it down five minutes later because i can't think of anything to actually write.
basically i can't make anything right now and nobody else seems to want to make stuff right now which fair honestly same. and it's put me in a bit of a slump from understimulation.
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hi i know i havent done this in a while but thought this was long over due so if you still dont mind these, here are my thoughts about tb...
the last few chapters have been nothing short of incredible, i havent interacted much, fault of my own dismay but really the chapters have been an absolute marvel. the twists and the unanswered questions to many many question linger in the air.
(pardon me but for some reason i turn very formal for no utter reason)
one question is what happened with the whole bruce and mummy dearest dilema.
i remember there being a loose end concerning steve and co.
but to now talk of the latest chapter if again you dont mind this annoying
i whole heartedly agree the she was being completely irrational but the fact that she knew she did something wrong shows something. and lokis thoughts are completely valid, with everything he's been through, what they've been through, the trauma of what happened last time still haunts him. he doesnt deserve that and im sorry for that darling.
and that sameera woman ughhhhh. for god bloody fucking sakes, she never deserved a space in his mind to occupy let alone his heart. the gull of that whiny idiotic girl boils my blood as she had the shit to say the shit she did after crying to her father that he took her, which caused him to get beaten to an inch of his life. FUCK OFFF you bitchy little girl (i was very tempted to call her a spoiled rich bitch then remembered y/n)
god darling, i really am just sorry. you dont deserve any of this. please wipe the tears that has had no right to cause you any distraught. your feelings are valid but it doesnt mean you deserve to feel the pain you feel. if you cant hold your tears anymore though darling, know that im here to hold you whilst you curse out the world and i will protect you no matter what (wow that got way too personal? not sure if thats the right word)
him being cold to her is albeit a bit rude, is totally understandable. the walls theyve broken down together were coming back up in the moments he thought and did lose her. only for a second though but he did lose her in those few hours and that was just enough time build back those walls up slowly. he still hasnt forgiven her fully hasnt he? but he still loves her enough to ensure that nothing will happen to her and that i believe is real true love. a bit cliché but it is. hes still very guarded now especially with what happened but god the mysteriousness of him is... i just find it rather hot is all
and also that he trusts her enough to know that she isnt like that woman, though he was desperately holding on to that thought, despite the facts, he really loves her does he. to hold on to the belief and hope that she wont leave him despite everything, god i just love him.
why does the mean side of me think that the one he called was bruce and hes taking revenge on her for leaving him in those few moments. its petty and unlikely but my mind is a labyrinth.
i deeply apologize for psycho analyzing your work but its all truly brilliant and if i may be honest hmbomt is still in my mind. im going through withdrawals and the urge to reread it again is very strong and drew to distracting myself to reading lisik.
anyway hope you have a lovely day darling and hope im not a bother
from your lovely 😊❤️ 💜💙💚💛😊
I never mind these dear, you have no idea how happy I feel to get a feedback (the current chapter literally have 0 comments..zero, I was writing the next chapter yesterday and stopped because it got no interaction for hours and it bummed me out) that's not what motivates me to keep going. This does so never be afraid to send me your thoughts, receiving a feedback on something I wrote will never not make me happy,
I like your formal tone 😂
Ohh bruce and her mum will make an appearance soon 👀
Thank you for trying to see the both sides, if I had Loki's traumas and issues and I read that message from her with her being gone, I'd think the worst too. He was just starting to learn to accept the fact that she loves him and not what he can do for her so this definitely wasn't something he needed.
She needs to learn alot about the life and she needs to learn to love herself and she's trying her best, but she got overwhelmed and instead of confining to him she chose to act out because that's what she had done all her life. That's how her life has been like :(
And yes I think he got swept up by her pain and didn't really get to know the person behind those walls, like bad people can get hurt too, they get depressed and they get Suicidal too but at the end it's all about what they can get, it's all about them.
She didn't care about loki, she cared what he was giving her and then once she realised how tough life was outside her mini palace she couldn't survive it.
He's not taking revenge I can assure you that, he's not vengeful type of guy, he did get a phonecall and had to leave but he can't tell her the truth 👀
Thank you for such high praises for HMBOMT, that fic would be the one fic id save if all my fics were dying and I could only save one 😂
Lisik was my first born so writing style isn't the best there but I put all of my ideas in there, so I hope you will enjoy it because I loved writing that baby.
You're never a bother, thank you my lovely 😍💚
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part two of this:
🎆mjs-hideout Follow
everyone say hello at my bushcat :) her name is Maple.
🎆mjs-hideout Follow
Thank you for all the kind replies! ^^ to celebrate I’m letting Maple share some words of wisdom:
6)nvd .,c-%@#0”sxmlkp. d
Truly inspiring.
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🩻 thesnatcher Follow
you all should send my sister anonymous hate it would be funny
🩻 thesnatcher Follow
NOT ME YOU FOOLS
#MY PLAN IS BACKFIRING
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⌛️ahatintimekeeper Follow
I dont think that snatcher realizes that people just pecking hate him
#hatchat
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🌠corgiquest5fan Follow
YOOOO CHAT I GOT SO MUCH CORGI MERCH FROM THE SHOPS IN NYAKUZA TODAY ILL POST IT L8TER BUT THIS IS SO RAD HOLY SHIT DUDE IM SO EXCITED!!1!
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anonymous asked: Um you do realize putting “Domesticated the Snatcher” in your bio is hella creepy right? Like it’s weird as fuck to dehumanize an already demonized species like ghosts are people too. You’re already disrespecting the dead with that but it’s especially weird seeing as he’s literally an actual murderer on top of that? Like taking away the ghost thing that’s even creepy to say about a fucking serial killer as well. Like. What the fuck man. Actually what is wrong with you??
🌷identifying-flowers-in-posts Follow
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🐇 bunnything-official Follow
“what’s your gender” ermmmm im silly?
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🎆mjs-hideout Follow
Godssss if I have to see one more post about the lost prince of subcon I’m going to break the moon again /j
🎆mjs-hideout Follow
like not just posts talking about him but ones that are just blatantly wrong or infactual but I can’t be too mad because no one knows what really happened hardly but STILL. thank stars I killed him by transitioning but STOP PUTTING HISTORY ARTICLES ABOUT HIM ON MY DASH!! PLEASE!!!!
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Anonymous asked: WAIT WHAT?????? Amy did you???? Know the lost Prince of Subcon?????? Also what’s the context of the transition thing? What????
🎆mjs-hideout Follow
go talk to @ thesnatcher about it because I don’t care about that guy anymore (referring to the prince, not snatcher, love u ^^🩵❤️(i want to trap him in the horizon sometimes))
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anonymous asked: YOUR SISTER IS THE FUCKING SUBCON PRINCE WHAT THE FUCK???????????????????????
🩻 thesnatcher Follow
oh gods what happened why are we talking about this GET OUT OF MY ASKS.
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anonymous asked: Amy why did you say to talk to your brother and not you?????
🎆mjs-hideout Follow
…because he’s the prince too…? I thought everyone knew this??
🩻 thesnatcher Follow
MOON YOU DID NOT JUST OUT ME TO ALL YOUR FOLLOWERS WHAT THE HELL
🎆mjs-hideout Follow
WHAT HUH I THOUGHT THAT WAS A KNOWN FACT? IS IT NOT?
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🏞️ doyoulovethecoloroftheskyline Follow
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🐇bunnything-official Follow
STOPPPP MY BOSSES DO NOT WANT ME TO HELP THEM MAKE A HORROR DOCUMENTARY ABOUT SNATCHER OH MY CLOTHHHHHHHH BYEEEEEEE
anyway happy day for subcon history fans i guess :p, so sad no one knows i was the one who cracked moonies egg but wat ever *kicks rock and walks away with head lowered + tail dragging behind meoh stitch i just reread the top half of the post for a microsecond i lived in a world where my bosses didnt pitch that idea to me it was so beautiful
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💠 Jermeow Follow
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🎆mjs-hideout Follow
shady-sunburntdeactivated03122017 is both my best friend (wrote pretty accurate books on subcon history and spirits :)) and my worst enemy (wrote books on subcon history ft my deadname being everywhere in it)(I mean I suppose it is also my brothers name but it’s NOT MINE OK he can keep it)
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🌷identifying-flowers-in-posts Follow
Sorry we made your queer platonic ghost partner match with me. Yeah he took on my flower motifs and I took on his thorn motifs. Yeah we match to show our relationship. He’s chilled out now he’s not evil anymore but he’s still a massive bitch. Yeah. Yeah he’s biace too. Yeah, sorry.
#about thorns #subconsnatcher
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[parasocial bestie] I HAVE TO BE FRFRFR WITH U IT TAKES JUST AS MUCH PRACTISE. AS WRITING I THINK. altho with my current experience in Writing thats not walls of texts of Ramble and Self Indulgence i be thinking writers wud have it harder esp vocabulary.... like man how u words how do u get the pacing right YOU DID GOT IT SO RIGHT HAVE U ANY IDEA REREADING UR TWO SILLY FICS + VIOLENCE FIC STILL GETS ME IN TEARS or i am just that of a sucker to specific emotions in general SKDFJHSDKJFH LIKE IDKKKKK like holy facken shit it took u a decade and my first attempt at just Writing even 500 words it felt like forever...... turns out intense eyeballing on chunks of words in great fics do not work like i do to improve in art nods nods [takes notes] yes that is my only way of even Understanding how art works LMAO
"words of someone who would KILL to be able to accomplish this tone and such in So Many Fewer Words but who does Not Know How To Do That so ten hundred billion words it is" HAHRGKADFKSDJH I WONT STOP UUUU ALTHO ITS A BIG BEEG STRETCH I WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT YEW WITH MY LITTOL ANON HANDS SHIELD U WITH MY COOL ANON SHADES....... in these cases u shud not stop someone from burnout by blocking da way u shud JOIN THEM AND PUSH ON TOGETER AND DAS A MOTTO
NO BUT THAT SILLY GENUINELY MAKES ME A LIL SILLY A LIL UEUEUEUEUEUE i didnt expect that extra comment like srsly cus like UHUHUHUHU IM GLAD U THINK THAT WAY and i honestly think its either a natural response to me or not cus me with my own circle of close friends we'd always support each other in ways it's on equal respect depending on what need to be treated like yknow?? altho by default we're all nice to the other its always a main thing not to let another person's slip ups slide, bad moments carry them away or get our egos inflate so hard so that sort of morals we had tgt kinda ingrained on me to treat any other person like dat like its normal... im nawt gonna lie to u i used to be Way more insensitive and impulsive before and our exchanges coulda been wildly different if it werent for my own besties and it helps me gather!! more besties out of my safe space!!! LIKE YEAHGHHHHAHHHH KDSJFHSDKJH AND IT GOT ME TO U!! AND I WANNA BE GENUINELY NICE AND SUPPORTIVE TO U WHEN I CAN EVEN BEHIND THESE LIL ANON SHADES!!!!!!!!!!! cus its always been. a normal human thing 2 do. like yknow. and i am not gonna keep contradicting myself when dats something id want to influence on my stories and silly lil brainrots too anyways i also got a lil silly but idc ilysm <333333333333333 AND U DESERVE ALL DA KINDNESS FROM ME AND ALL UR BESTIES TOO :muscle_arm: x2743573495 cus i am sending this ask thru pc sob
vocabulary 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿 my bestest friend my worstest enemy im so srs it is Everything to me and also i cannot stand it. horrible. awful. beautiful. perfect.
YOU CANT JSUT TELL ME YOU RTEREAD THEM ILL FUKINGCCG EXPLODE OH MY GODFDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD i need to write violence fic part 2 and maybe even a part 3 where its not the same little world and the violence is scaramouche himself hunting dottore down ohhhhh that'd be so lovely but also i dont think im good enough or creative enough with gore to do that thought justice im gonna be SO fr. YOU CANT JUST SAY THEY GET YOU IN TEARS I WILL FUKCVINFG EXPLOFDE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dies. dies. dies. anyways. i will never forget being like 11 or 12 years old and roleplaying warriors cats on my kindle <- genuinely my introduction to writing for fun outside of just school stuff. i wrote for YEARS and then i all but stopped writing for Also Years to the point where i genuinely thought i just. couldnt do it anymore. gone. i barely managed anything no matter what i tried and i got sooo frustrated and also just didnt really enjoy it? but thats bc my mental health was fucking horrific and the better i started doing the more i started really writing who would've thought LMAO no bc like 2?? years ago ??????? id basically given up !!!!!!! and then there were a couple tiny fics and then photosynthesis and i was like oh. i Can still write and i Do still have so much fun with it. and now i am unstoppable amen
writing is weird bc reading fics CAN help but i think reading books helps better? and its this constant state of like. ive heard with art that tracing genuinely helps, ofc you cant claim it for your own or anything but there's that sort of muscle memory and learned proportions and the practice of doing the same thing over and over again i think is a good thing? i think ??????? and in writing you rly cant copy anyone word for word and get anything out of it, it doesnt teach you anything it doesnt get you any further there's no sort of muscle memory connected with it. but what ive done a lot is looked at writing i rly loved and been like. okay so if i wanted to do this how would i accomplish it? i cant guess other writers thought processes but i can figure out how id reach a similar end goal ig ?? and in my own writing if im failing to accomplish what i want its a matter of ok, what DO i want, what if i change pov, what if i change the setting, what if i change the circumstance, etc etc which i think you could probably do the same thing in art if smth felt off or wasnt looking right ?? maybe ??? idk at this point my writing is a massive patchwork quilt of countless other authors and fic writers and a surprising amount of my own experience and ive noticed a lot of repeating elements in my own writing whether fics or original content and i dont really know How i got here but here i am. and ON TOP OF THAT actually seeing fanart ALSO helps my writing because ill see an expression or design or setting or anything that i really love and immediately start thinking of how to describe it in words yknow ???
im literally rambling so much today this is so fucking awful. awful day for the pinkseas community or at least pinkseas herself god help me
JOIN THEM AND PUSH ON TOGETHER............ UR LITTLE ANON SHADES............................. crying shaking sobbing bawling ily so fucking bad :((((((((((((( /pos we r pushign forward Togehter...
my rly close friends and i are the same way its SO so so lovely, having that constant respect and support and helping each other grow and learn its soooo. dsfmgndfmgfd. and trust me i also used to be a lot more insensitive and impulsive than i am now but ive learned sm and my own friends have helped sm and !!!!! we are soooooooo handshake emoji rn 10 million handshakes for us
UR SENDING IT ON PC AND IM ANSWERING ON PC </33333333 no bc organizing my thoughts on my phone is the worst ever but on my pc i dont have a bunch of heart emojis to spam at my fingertips its so sad....... sometimes when i rly wanna include them ill save as a draft and just put the emojis in and post it on my phone LMAO
#parasocial bestie tag#I WAS GONNA DELETE LIKE HALF OF THIS AND THEN REMEMBNERED WHAT U SAID ABT DELETING STUFF#and like this isnt rly writing thoughts or ideas or anything so idk if it coutns but#i am Strong i will Not delete my silly rambling i will simply press on
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okay, i know i said i would be starting with things i knew and loved. hell, i even had a fic from the fandom im currently ass-deep in all lined up!! but then i procrastinated, and i lost motivation, got distracted by my scheduled post-holiday shutdown, and something else finally kicked my ass into gear. so this blog's first true introduction to the world will not, in fact, be a post where i worship the very ground my favorite fic writers walk upon.
no, today we are talking about Ascent into Madness by cesium_sheep
((spoilers, obviously))
Now im going to preface this by saying that this criticism is subjective and based in my opinion. I did genuinely enjoy this story, and i did not at any point feel the urge to launch myself into the sun with nothing but the pure force of my rage, causing the sun to explode and consume planet earth in a scorching hell-blast and decimating all life on our tiny little space rock, which even some of my favorites are guilty of because in some stories characters just love to waffle about ((especially in my preferred reading material which puts romance at a very significant focus)). This story just isn't for me.
I'm going to explain why, and believe me when i say i am being as gentle as i physically can with this story because it is not objectively offensive to my very being, It's a good read and setting aside the problems i have with it i enjoyed it.
I keep repeating that i don't hate this story because i do not want to be accused of baseless hate, not because of reputation or anything but because being accused of something i know i didn't do sets off the same sensation that i get from rubbing my fingernails on egg cartons, the one of the back of my brain being assaulted by the mayonnaise-coated fingers of satan himself. Damn i should really get to the criticism before this just becomes an in depth description of my very soul's adverse reaction to the cream in queen anne chocolate cherries.
anyways.
The thing about this story is that, to me, it feels.. unfinished. Or at the very least like it wandered off its intended course. It leaves me with a feeling of mild dissatisfaction and the taste of confusion in my mouth. I think this problem is best summarized by the fact that, in the first chapter, it is set up that rose is in some sort of hospital, and that dave thinks she is in the grasp of some delusion, and the second chapter sets up the retroactive explanation for how it got to this point. See, what i expected was to be caught up to that point in the story, reach that point in time again, and then progress from there.
But that first chapter?? With the hospital, the delusions, the brick through the window with the radio attached?? Never brought up again, not even once. It is completely discarded and never even thought about. The story even stops trying to set up that scene after a certain point.
To put it in homestuck terms, because i'm a loser, a time player, and come on we're talking about a homestuck fic here you know i have to do this, it feels like we started a loop and then branched off the alpha timeline so completely we aren't even a part of the metaphorical timeline-tree anymore. It nags at my brain man, it's one of the main things that fuelled my motivation in writing this. It feels lost and wandering and it confuses me in a bone deep sorta way.
The second thing that gets to me is the complete lack of information presented about what, exactly, the fuck is going on. I have no idea how we got from point A to point B, not just because it completely disconnects from point A not even halfway through, but also because there's a lot of plot threads thrown in haphazardly and then never extended upon. There's a mention of jake and john's respective guardians knowing something about the story's big bad and all the mystical bullshit that follows along behind him, but that is never followed up on even a little. No one questions why they know, despite this information being so rare that literally only two families and a single group of aliens seem to have access to it. It just is a thing and then whoops, hand musta slipped because that bad boy is out the window and is facing the combined nonexistent mercy of gravity and this ten story drop.
The main plot has this same problem, in feeling like you get just enough info to keep it going forward. There's a sword in rose's umbrella basket or whatever the hell it's called, and it's implied a future dave put it there for his past self, but do we get confirmation that it was him?? Do we see that loop completed?? No, it is just used as a driving force for rose to try and push the fact that dave's got Timey powers. It feels like i'm being pulled by the hand through this story because it only gives just barely enough information to keep this crazy train rolling and then goes so far as to leave fucking time loops hanging there incomplete which okay i might be getting a little peeved about that but can you blame me?? Can you really blame me at all??
Maybe i am judging the plot too harshly, after all i was forewarned not to read for the plot in the summary because it's pretty slow and wandering. So let's get into something else then, yes?? Let's hop to the relationships.
The relationships, too, fall prey to this complete lack of any meaningful focus on any piece of information ever. I'd swear the writer was allergic if that didn't seem too harsh a description. It's a whole lot of telling without any showing, a cardinal sin in writing. We get a conversation with kanaya that doesn't suffer the disconnect from all things that the rest of the story seems haunted by. It's actually really a neat little conversation and i find it kind of wholesome how kanaya talks about rose and i personally think this interaction to be entirely too short. Then kanaya mentions karkat and apparently there's some of davekat's standard romantic tension happening off-screen because dave starts to get flustered and ponders what that means. And once again a plot thread is thrown to the winds because we never get another whiff of it.
Actually on the topic of davekat, dave just naturally gravitates to karkat and then they're stuck together like glue, so stuck in fact that dave dies for karkat because dave apparently forgets the golden rule of "If you have time to jump in front of someone then you have time to push them out of the way" and then ignores the added bit i spitefully wrote on the ancient stone tablet of Things That Make Sense in neon orange sharpie that says "Especially if you have time to have a discussion about your choices with an ambiguously-dead girl. Pull your thumb out of your ass, dave, nobody has to die here, magic option number three was not the one you picked."
Of course, this is a fanfiction, these are characters i already know. I know how these characters would interact, i know how their relationship develops in-canon and i know that given the chance these fuckers become goddamn inseparable. But that doesn't excuse the fact that it is all tell and no show, we dont see how it gets from "You're one of the only familiar faces in a group of strangers and i am not about to start interacting with new people unless i have to" to "Here let me die heroically for you and then be revived for no explainable reason besides Because The Wizard Of God Says So." I have no reason to be invested in this or even give a half-ounce shit despite it literally becoming something that the climax hinges on. And then rose and kanaya are just inexplicably,, together?? Right at the end?? And while i am happy that the lesbians get to be in love everything is off screen and nothing is ever explained, not even like one time, and god it's just so confusing. I am so confused.
But again, maybe i'm being unfair, once again the very tags of this fic are telling me that the relationships are not the focus and only really tagged so people can filter it out. I suppose i should judge the characters, then.
From what i remember there are sixteen characters, excluding ((who i believe to be, as it is once again not explained or explicitly stated to be)) caliborn at the end, with speaking roles. Five of those characters retain any narrative relevance for more than a nanosecond. A good chunk of the trolls arent even mentioned by name, with eridan and i think sollux being mentioned, and who i think to be sollux speaks when rose and dave are first brought to the trolls' apartment but again, the fog of uncertainty clouds all things and i don't have my handy dandy leafblower on me to airblast that shit out of my way. Of the five characters with any focus on them, two are relegated to the role of supporting character, with karkat joining that number more often than not. That leaves us with dave and rose, who are ultimately as a whole unaffected by their experiences. They do not learn anything, they do not grow or change. Sure rose freaks out about her perception of reality, but that falls flat because it's more tell and no show again. Dave freaks out, as he rightfully should in this situation, but there is no arc. There is no significant change in anything but moving toward the boss fight with the big baddie.
There aren't any particularly interesting interactions between these characters, either, i cannot recall one time in which i laughed, or felt much of anything really. They all fall into a state of Existing while also feeling like they aren't doing a whole lot. It's more noticeable in retrospect but these characters just Do Not feel alive, they seem incredibly flat at times and it's hard to notice while you're reading but looking back it stands out so painfully and it makes me very sad.
If i'm not supposed to read for the plot, and i'm not supposed to read for the relationships, and i can't read for the characters, then what is this story meant to be read for?? The only other thing i can think of is the mystery and sorry pal, but that's a plot, which we have already established doesn't really have a whole lot going for it because while your mystery sure is there it is currently stinking up that rug you shoved half the answers under because those mysteries aren't the ones you want to focus on.
Is it simply meant to pass the time?? Is there no deeper purpose besides keeping yourself entertained as the hours tick by?? Because if so, it at least accomplished that. Despite its faults, it kept my attention for the entire fifty one chapters, and it passed my time.
There are other nitpicks i have, but that's more based around the writing style on a more technical level. The chapters are too short for my personal taste, and there are far too many cliffhangers, these things i will not condemn as the writer gave a good reason for the latter and obviously no writer is obligated to churn out 2,500 words per chapter unless they damn well want to.
Ultimately, this story is neither good nor bad. It is straightforward in that it burns any other plot threads besides the main one on the sacrificial alter of The Writer Does What The Writer Wants, it's a bit too ambiguous and under-explained for my tastes, but there is nothing egregiously offensive in it. It is a story that exists. I wouldn't read it again, but i wouldn't not read it again, and i don't even come close to regretting the time i spent reading it ((outside of the fact that it is currently almost nine am and i haven't slept but that one is my own fault)).
I scrolled passed this story in its beginnings, assuming it would not be particularly mindblowing, and now that i've read it i know that i was entirely correct. Read it if you want, or don't, just don't go in expecting something life changing. I suggest picking out a spot on your schedule where you have nothing to do and will no doubt be bored out of your mind. I sincerely doubt you'll regret it.
#homestuck#homestuck fanfic#fanfiction#god what else do i even tag this as. fuckin..#fanfiction critique#????#i feel like a child#i am but a little boy lost in the deep dark woods and i have no idea where i am going#there is no map for this shit#also as i write this tag it is now 9:52 am#a whole hour after i finished writing this monstrosity#because editing this stuff to make it somewhat coherent is a task and a half#i ramble worse than any homestuck character and i have proof too. go ahead. challenge me. i dare you. i know im right#i don't know why or how i got to the bit about queen anne chocolate cherries but i think its funny so fuck it its staying in#again if the author of this fic somehow comes across this and doesn't want this shit on my blog or wants to be tagged like let me know plea#i am trying desperately to not step on any toes or hearts here but i was not Raised so if i fuck up please just tell me#i dont wanna be publicly hung via tumblr anon attacks and callout posts that are poorly made at best and wildly inaccurate at worst#anyways thanks for reading i guess i have no idea how to tie this shit off and it Shows lol#hope i did okay#fuck it im not rereading this anymore im sending it out into the world#off you go little timmy suck it up and face the judgement of strangers
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[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ]
💌 — love letter from @kyriaan
from track 007.
Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'
Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls
Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ
Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)
Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT
👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️
Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it
*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...
The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.
I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩
Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃
Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)
You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...
'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.
Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.
You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.
Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly
Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩
Hfbfbfhfhfieia
[ from saeren ]
NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT
SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN
naur cuz. there’s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.
HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED
the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)
YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33
NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he���s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka
YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.
and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.
hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.
[ from @kyriaan ]
Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here
But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*
[ from saeren ]
and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!
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Vile/Mevolent, hmmm?? please feed me i am but one hungry addict in need of crackship content.
okay so
it’s been confirmed now by Dirty Laundry that the Divergence Point in the Leibniz universe was that Ghastly was orphaned young, his family never took Skug in, and as a result Skug wasn’t close with him or any of the other dead men and therefore there was nothing to bring him back from being vile. thus, vile remained the dominant personality and mevolent won
HOWEVER (hereafter be nothin but crack and monsters)
back in ye olde days before that confirmation, i was chatting to a friend about what the Divergence Point might have been and i jokingly suggested “they fuckin”. now, the reason they fuckin even came to mind was twofold:
a) in the original universe, vile had the opportunity to kill ghastly, but didn’t, and this was the beginning of skug reasserting himself and taking back control. in the leibniz dimension, whether or not they still had that confrontation, vile didn’t snap out of it. so something overrode his friendship with ghastly and, as i was going by the assumption that they were as close as original ghasdug were, that something has got to be pretty powerful.
b) the leibniz universe, before val shows up, is? more or less in peacetime. mevolent has won, past tense. the resistance still exists, but it’s a gnat on a horse’s flank; it’s outgunned, outnumbered and a hair’s breadth from being wiped out completely. whenever there’s a confrontation with the resistance, it seems mevolent sends vile, so technically the resistance should’ve been obliterated already; it’s likely the only reason any of them have survived a vile attack is because if they run out of good guys, there’s no one left for him to fight. he’s a cat toying with a mouse rather than killing it outright.
now vile’s main motivation for joining mevolent’s army in the first place was that he wanted to kill as many people as possible. in skug’s own words, “finally, here is someone who shared my appetite for destruction.” he doesn’t want the war to be over, he’s not interested in peacetime. he doesn’t know who he is without the war, and he defects because mevolent’s offer beats the sanctuary’s (mevolent’s army has fewer rules, and he gets to kill more people, and maybe even a whole race of gods if in fact they exist and mevolent brings them back).
but in the leibniz universe, 150-ish years down the line, the best he’s getting is occasional skirmishes with resistance forces, which are clearly not a challenge for him. he’s not levelling battlefields by himself anymore. and yet? he’s still there. he hasn’t turned on mevolent yet, hasn’t started world war three for funsies, hasn’t just started indiscriminately murdering everyone in his way. nor is he pushing for mevolent to bring the faceless ones back. so...why? what’s keeping him there?
so, my original joking conclusion: they fuckin.
except i was picturing a not-quite-friends with benefits type deal. allies with benefits belligerent sexual tension? mutually using each other with added angry sex? but...150-ish years is uh. a long-ass time, dude. and relationships shift. people get comfortable with each other. walls get dropped. and at some point it’s entirely possible to have a moment of crisis where you realise that you’ve accidentally been exclusive with your fwb for the past few years, you...actually don’t remember the last time you fucked your wife, and oh gods, you’re fond of him.
and then i reread that one scene where mevolent is interrogating val and she thinks she hears skug coming to save her, but it’s vile and he just walks right in like he owns the place while mevolent is in the middle of conducting business and leans on the throne and mevolent a) knows who it is without even turning to look and b) smiles when he arrives? except this time i had ship goggles on. and. for a man who seemed to command a lot of deference from his subordinates, that’s a pretty familiar entrance. no knock, no “hey are you busy”, no “pardon me for interrupting”, vile just waltzes in and joins him. so? maybe they do this regularly? interrogate prisoners together? i’m not saying date night but date night
and anyway as with all ships you suggest to be facetious, i ended up shipping it for real and now i find excuses to make it romo, and thus, my primary ship has become a crackfest of lunacy with absolutely no basis in canon, and i give not a single fuck because it makes me happy and very little does that in this fandom anymore
as a postscript, a couple tropes that make me love this dumb ship more:
a) mevolent has been around for a hot minute. he started the war ~600 years before canon -
- and was apprenticed to the Unnamed before that, which makes him, what? 800+ by canon times? vile is 400-450 during canon (as, iirc, is serpine, since he and skug are in the same age bracket). yall know i love my age gap ships.
b) the absolute flip in power dynamics for mevolent??? like he is much bigger, stronger and more powerful than everyone around him, so he’s used to getting what he wants, when he wants it, and is very, very rarely told “no”. but? he needs vile to win the war - far more than vile needs him. the og dimension shows that if vile walked away, mevolent would’ve lost. vile is the only sorcerer near mevolent’s power level, and therefore the only one with a hope in hell of fighting him to a standstill - their fights can get Ugly. so he’s the only person mev’s intimidating obey-me bullshit doesn’t work on or impress. they’re equals. that is New and Intriguing
c) Even Evil Has Loved Ones. fuck me up.
c) mevolent is over a foot taller than vile and presumably correspondingly bigger, and i am a massive slut for size difference ships where the tall one is chill and level-headed and the “little” one is an explosive ball of barely-contained rage with a hair-trigger temper.
EDIT: IT GOT BETTER
Even i hadnt noticed this but im 👀 at them conveniently arriving together in the middle of the night at short notice
anyway yeah i have feelings i hope this crack content fed you well anon
#skulduggery pleasant#sp headcanons#violent#this ship is NONSENSE and i love it thank u for coming to my ted talk#Anon#fire message
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Tsukkiyama PT. 1 (Ophelia)
I, I.. when I was younger.. I, I.. should've known better
And I can't feel no remorse.. and you don't feel nothing back
"Since you're the scrawniest of all of us, you need to hold our bags!" the big kid in front of me declared, with his friends throwing their heavy schoolbags at my face. I felt my eyes tear up as they laughed.
"Are you seriously crying?" The biggest one of them teased. "Crybaby!" I heard footsteps and say this tall blonde kid walk by. He caught my eye and I wondered if he was going to help me. The bullies followed my eye and stared at the blonde-headed boy for a heartbeat.
"Oy! What are you looking at?" The boy asked, while his friend said he was a sixth grader. I wondered what he was going to do. To everyone's surprise, he tilted his head and smirked.
"Pathetic." He said, then continued walking away, as if nothing happened. I was in total awe, as he loomed over the bullies and scared them away. So cool...
That's how I met Tsukki. At the time, he could've been calling me pathetic, but what matters is that he stood up for me.
I, I.. got a new girlfriend.. he feels like he's on top
And I don't feel no remorse, and you can't see past my blinders
It was at the beginning of highschool when I started to have feelings for Tsukki. It started when girls started coming to me to ask about Tsukki. I started getting jealous.. but who could blame them? Tsukki was tall, smart and beautiful in every way. His glasses really brought out the shininess in his amber brown eyes, and his personality comes off as a rude, arrogant guy but honestly if you took the time to know him.. he's actually really nice.
I don't really know how or when it happened, but I woke up to a text from Tsukki saying,
"
I got a girlfriend.
"
I felt my heart shatter, as I frantically reread it again and again. I refreshed the page, just to see if there was a "just kidding", but no. When I got to school, he was already there, talking to this beautiful brown-haired girl. It hurts, because Tsukki's eyes were shining in a way they never did when he talked to me, and he looked genuinely interested in what she was saying. It was the first time that I had walked to school alone.
"Hey! Yamaguchi!" I looked up in surprise as I saw the girl waving me over. Her eyes were this beautiful shade of green, with flawless skin and slender body. She was beautiful, no wonder Tsukki looked so enchanted. I felt my own hand reach up and touch my freckled face, hating myself more than ever. I shook myself out of it, and smiled back. I walked over.
"Good morning!" I said, trying to should cheerful, but my voice cracked. None of them noticed.
"My name is Heather," the girl introduced herself. (YALL KNOW WHATS GONNA HAPPEN WITH THE CONAN GRAY SONG-) I waved.
"I'm Tadashi Yamaguchi," I said. Even Heather was a beautiful name.
"I know!" Heather chirped unexpectedly. "Kei told me all about you!"
"Oh," I said, wincing internally when she called Tsukki by his first name. "He did?"
The teacher called for everyone's attention, so the conversation ended. I skipped volleyball practice that day. It was the first time I walked home by myself.
Oh, Ophelia.. you've been on my mind, girl since the flood
Oh, Ophelia.. heaven help a fool who falls in love
I couldn't sleep that night. The only thing on my mind was Tsukki. I know it sounds like I was a hopeless romantic, but honestly Tsukki looked much happier with Heather. I started to sob uncontrollably in my bed. My eyes flooded with tears of sorrow and regret as I wailed into my pillow. I was too late, now Tsukki would be with Heather.. and I'll be alone.
I, I.. got a little paycheck, you got big plans and you gotta move
And I don't feel nothing at all
And you can't feel nothing small
I started going to volleyball practice again, making up a lame excuse about how I felt sick, which really wasn't a lie. Everytime I saw Tsukki with Heather, he was always smiling. Seeing him being happier with someone else made me sick to my stomach. I realized Tsukki was ditching practice, since once I found him making out with Heather in an empty classroom. They didn't notice me, all they cared about was each other. I pinched myself.. why can't I just be happy for Tsukki? Isn't that what I would want for the boy I loved? His happiness? Who the hell cares if my happiness was down the drain.. as long as Tsukki was happy.
"Yamaguchi?" Hinata called, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Are you okay? You've been standing there."
"Me? Oh, uh.." I stared at the ball in my hands, and looked at Nishinoya who was waiting to recieve my serve. I looked over and smiled at Hinata.
"I'm fine."
Honey I love you... that's all she wrote
Tsukki pretty much paid no attention to me, if Heather was around or not. Almost like he forgot about me. One day, I saw Tsukki and Heather walking home. I knew I should've just continued walking, but instead I hid in an alley to eavesdrop.
"Kei, I have to tell you something..." Heather said.
"Sure, anything." Tsukki said, in a light and happy voice.
"My family's moving away." she said. Tsukki froze.
"W-what?" the genuine shock in his voice sent chills up my spine. He really did love her. I knew even after Heather left, Tsukki would probably continue to ignore everyone.. including me. I knew he had his trust issues, ever since an incident while his brother was in highschool. After years of following him around was how our relationship got to this point, and it hurt that he was able to welcome Heather into his heart so quickly.
If Heather left, Tsukki would probably never love someone again.
I smiled to myself and leaned against the cold, damp brick wall. Tsukki and Heather had walked away, and I was just by myself. Once I started, I couldn't stop the tears.
Oh, Ophelia.. you've been on my mind, girl like a drug
Oh, Ophelia.. heaven help a fool who falls in love
Oh, Ophelia.. you've been on my mind, girl since the flood
Oh, Ophelia.. heaven help a fool who falls in love
Just as expected Tsukki blocked out everybody and everyone. He would ignore anyone who tried talking to me, and stopped coming to practices. He didn't wait for me to walk to school anymore, or to walk home. It was almost like anything he saw reminded him of her. Since no one could talk to him, I decided to text him.
Hey, I don't know what you're going through
I deleted that. I knew exactly what happened even though he never told me.
Hey.. I like you a lot
I deleted that too. That would really just be very insensitive of me to straight-up confess to him after a heartbreak. What could I say to him?
Just to let you know, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here.
I sighed and erased that too. It was extremely cliche. Almost as if I had copy and pasted from a website. There was no feeling. Feeling angry, I started typing.
Listen, you big idiot. You're acting like you're all alone and nobody is there. How stupid are you? I've been by your side for the past 10 years or so, yet you refuse to tell me anything. I saw how Heather could make you smile so easily, and I always wondered why, during all that time we've known each other, you never smiled like that around me. I'm sorry if you're hurt or feel like the world had turned it's back on you and that there was no use in even trying anymore.. but I've always been here and always will, you're stuck with me for the rest of your life whether you like it or not, and I miss you the old Tsukki.
Before I even had time to calm down, I had already clicked send. I try to not curse, but this really felt like a good time too.
Oh shoot that was really insensitive I didn't mean to send that fuck im sorry
I typed immediately. My mind was swirling with regret. Did I seriously fucking do that?
Oh, Ophelia.. you've been on my mind, girl like a drug
Oh, Ophelia.. heaven help a fool who falls in love
I didn't get a response from Tsukki, and I was panicking on my way to school. I was walking by when a black cat crossed my path. I watched it cross the street. Am I under a curse now? I thought staring at the tip of the cat's tail disappear under a bush on the other side of the street. I looked up. There. At our old meeting spot, stood Tsukki. He was looking at me and I saw the corners of his mouth turn up. I stared at him.
He was... smiling. At me.
"Good morning, Tsukki!"
#tsukkiyama#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#ophelia#tsukishima kei#tadashi yamaguchi#tsukishima x yamaguchi#yamaguchi x tsukishima#lol idek
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hello im here to say that im very very inexplicably excited for flesh and blood! yeah! im very excited for it uwu hope you have fun writing it! i love zombie aus
Anonymous said: i love your flesh and blood story!! it’s literally so cute i couldn’t help but gush over YN and JK’s interactions. I was wondering did the movie warm bodies inspire you? 🤣
it did!! :D
Anonymous said: how many parts will there be of flesh and blood and bitchin?
Anonymous said: Hi I'm sorry if this has been asked before, but how many parts will flesh and blood have? I love the story so far 💚
Anonymous said: you probably get asked this alot 😭 so forgive me but how many parts is flesh and blood and bitchin' going to have? asdfghjkl
Anonymous said: you should leave us thirsty and wait for the smut until pt. 4 of flesh and blood 😈
f&b has only 3 parts :)
Anonymous said: I just finished the Flesh and Blood and mind if I say it's BRILLIANT 😍 I have a question tho if JK is not eating y/n and namjoon will he be full with just human foods ? Like how many longer that those candies will keep him from taking a bite from y/n lol? Btw don't wanna sound like needy little brat but when will the next part come I'm so excited about this fic ??
;) guess you’ll just have to wait til part 3
jeonnsfww said: Hey!!! I am absolutely OBSESSED with your new fic flesh and blood and I was just wondering when you will be coming out with the part two? THANK YOU SO MUCHA AND I LOVE YOU!!!
Anonymous said: when are we getting a flesh and blood update ??🥺
Anonymous said: When is flesh and blood gonna be updated?
joonsbbygxrl said: ok honestly tho? I love flesh and blood so much!!! I've never really read anything like that before so when I came across it I was a bit cautious but now I am OBSESSED! when's the next part coming out?? ♡
dej-okay said: i just read flesh and blood and mayhaps it's my favorite thing in the world 👉👈 is there a taglist or anything for it so i can know if a new chapter comes out 👀
Anonymous said: When will you update flesh and blood ? I love it and YOU so much
taetae123094 said: Can't wait for the next chapter of flesh and blood!!!!😁 When do you think you'll be posting????
Anonymous said: when do you think part 3 of f&b will be out?
I’m not sure when i’ll post the next part and I don’t do taglists, i’m sorry :(
Anonymous said: god....I want a happy ending for flesh & blood. I wouldn’t know how to act if something ended up happening to Jungkook. Hopefully this pussy brings him back to life and he can live on🙉🙉🙈🙈
Anonymous said: Hello! I just wanted to say I finished binge reading your Tempting fic and oh my goodness it was so amazing!! This story was so well written and the characters are so fleshed out; I am incredibly invested in their livelihoods! Thank you so much for creating this series and for making my Halloween beautiful 😊
Anonymous said: I never really send any messages or anything, but God, girl! Flesh and blood had me SCREAMING!!!! 💜💜💜
Anonymous said: OMG YES FLESH AND BLOOD ILYSM
jungkookkilledme said: I've read almost everything you've written, It gives me so many feels I can't take it lmao. CAN NOT WAIT FOR FLESH AND BLOOD PART 3!!! In the whole supernatural realm, zombies are the creatures I absolutely hate but then you came for my neck (or should I say flesh) with zombie! jk. my hoe ass is ready for some weird zombie smut. I hate myself. pls make him jealous lol
Anonymous said: Rereading bitchin’ while I wait for flesh and blood pt.2 Y/N gets to fuck Jungkook in his life and his death. Damn Y/N won
Anonymous said: FLESH AND BLOOD PT 2, OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything about it is so good. I love JK’s development (‘: I want to protect him and make sure he doesn’t suffer anymore )): THE KISS SCENE WAS SO CUTE AHHHH. But I really hope that jk, joon, and the reader come up w a plan that keeps them safe from the govt. I know this is all over the place but you are so talented and I hope u know it!!!!! If you wrote chapter books, I would buy every single one
s-u-t said: I love Flesh and Blood part 2, thank you for sharing it with us💕
Anonymous said: flesh and blood is so good rose what the fuck how dare u to finish like that
Anonymous said: i’m reading flesh and blood in class and i’m having the hardest time not the scream
Anonymous said: hey! i've been crazy obsessed with flesh and blood since i read it a few days ago. i still reread it every night, and i just watched warm bodies because of it. i just really love the way you wrote it and the way you captured the story. you encapsulated the growing hope of zombie!jjk well and like, the really sweet and innocent underlying romance. i especially love the 'lil kiss scene, it was really cute. i can't wait to get to the end :) thank you for writing it!
haniexiddd said: flesh and blood is amazing!!!!!!!am i excited for the upcoming zombie sex?? yes i am... and i have no shame
jungkook-is-my-baby said: I love love love Flesh and Blood 🤞💗
Anonymous said: flesh and blood is a beauty thank u ilysm💓
callistojjk said: I love your writing and I just wanted to say that flesh and blood is one of my faves!! How did you make a zombie attractive??? 😩Anywho I read both parts TWICE in a span of three days so there’s that I guess!! I recently started this tumblr to post my first own jk fic and it was partially you who inspired me!! Looking forward to the next part 😍💕
Anonymous said: Hello I just wanted to slide in and say that flesh and blood is so damn good!!! And the way you write is just *chefs kiss* ❤️❤️
Anonymous said: flesh and blood has me HOOKED i’m so hyped for the next part. ur writing is impeccable
Anonymous said: FLESH & BLOOD IS 👌👌👌👌👌👌 I’m usually not into that trope but you make me love this story. Thank youuuuuu
anjelicjazz said: Holy crap Rose!! Flesh and Blood omg!! I had so many warm fuzzy flashbacks to Warm Bodies it's insane! lol that being said I love that while it's in the same au you're writing it to be their story. I can tell you love the idea of it and that you're taking your time with them. They deserve a great story and I just...ah!! Thank you for writing it!! My whole heart revolves around Zombie Jungkook and his impish antics lol~
THANK U EVERYONE FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS!!! I read them all and im sorry im only just now getting to them
way-too-addicted-to-anime said: Namjoon in F&B: Say sike right now! Me: .... I mean I can but that ain't gonna be an accurate statement. P.S. How do you manage to write crack seriously like???
Anonymous said: Hhh actually I was just about to mention that your characterization of Joon in F&B is one of my favourites cause while genius!Joon is a famous agenda in the army fanfic community, its always half-assed y'know? Like they'll write him as a whole 148 IQ einstein who went to harvard when he was 7 but his dialogue would be like "so the square of root of this dimension negative to the pythagorous theory-" like bruh do you know what you're talking about? But you seem to really ground his character. Like Joon in F&B knows shit!!! He's already figured out where the whole "zombies are bad" agenda derived from as well as debunking majoritys opinion on zombies. Not to mention his whole drive for knowledge stems from his insatiable curiosity so now we have a why to the how. Basically, you're really good at writing sksjsks ALSO THE PLOT PACING IN F&B IS AMAZING THANK ILY BYE
THE WAY UR ANALYSIS OF F&B JOON MADE ME WET!!! i sent snippets of his part to my friends and i distinctly remember daisy telling me she wanted to suck his dick skdjskj. I think my capricorn self really just is just self-servicing with my smart boy kink heh
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// I... feel the need to apologise. (and I’m also very drunk r/n so please pardon the typos, if any, I cba to proof read this tbh...)). So idk how long its been since I’ve last responded/posted anything, but a prsume a While (tm). Basically work is crazy. Dont get me wrong, I’m gratreful for the fact that I HAVE work atm, but I’m working a 7 days in/7 days off kinda working pattern because of C-19. Which wouldnt usually be an issue, I;ve worked 10 days in a row beofre, but it’s real jarring plus the extra hard wokr as we’re skeleton crew and because of the added guilt with having to travel to work when my mum is high risk, and my thyroid is fucking up and im not able to get a blood test atm, and im cold turkey on antidepresants (if you even knoew im now on them> listen, it;s been a long time, I;m sorry) because supply isnt getting to pharmacys atm. Its... a time. But hey, I;ve gotten that ‘promotion’ I wanted, although im not a part of the team just yeat because of C-19. So I’m now a part of the ‘Seed and wellbeing’ Team, looking after the new wellbeing garden. Which is the job I wanted for a while.
Basicallt...
I have too any hobbies..
I love gaming, I love cosplay, I love drawing and doiung art stuff. So I’ve beeen focussing on that tbh. I was slowly falling out of love of roleplaying and it was adding unnecessary stress to an already kinda stressfull life. Some parts were enjoyable but there was a lot that felt more obligatory than hobbyish (whoa I spelt obligatory correctly while intoxicated wtf fancy that). So I slowly... dropped it. And Im sorry for not saying goodbye or anything. But I come home from work so tired as it’s basically underpaid manual labour, plus extra bits that theyn want me to do because I ‘owe’ them for giving me a aprrenticship. so I havent had time to write because one high wuality reply takes me like... an hour to write. Which is time I dont have anymore.
So like... long story short, I’m gonna have to quit tumblr roleplaying if I want to go forward with my career....Whcih I really.... REALLY want to do. I want to become a world renowknowned horticulturlist.
HOWEVER.
I do miss the roleplay partners that I have gotten close to over the years. You have become some close friends and I;m truly sorry for disappreaing without saying anything. The people from here that I am closest to are on my discord anyway, so if you want to roleplay or chat with me on discord, then please, P
So please contact me on discord. If you belive that we have gotten close and never got round to connecting on discord, please send me your details (im currently too drunk to remember, god im sorry) and we can roleplay over discord WHEN... I have time. I;m sorry but with my career and my chronic illnesses making me as low energy and fuckin possible, it’s hard. But I want to try for the people that have been my friends for years and have been there for me.
Again. Im sorry for disappearing. It;s been a stuggle. But I truly do love you, I miss you, and I want to keep being creative. I mght not be able to do it over tumblr anymore, but I wont delete my blogs so they will always be there for reread purposes. I will cosplay on tiktok as I really enjoy it and it;s quickish for me to create, and I’m willing to rpoleplay over discord when and if I have the chance.
I love you, I;m sorry, and I guess... Goodbye?
Nos da,
Aiden
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In addition to our own personal top fics (which you can view here), we asked you all to send us your choices for your fics of the decade and why you loved them. We received so many wonderful submissions, and now want to share them with everybody! In an effort to not make this post too long we’ve edited down the comments that people left us, but everyone had some really lovely things to say, so if anything catches your eye here we really encourage you to take a look at the complete list of comments here.
Without further ado, please enjoy the top fics of the decade as chosen by you, our listeners:
Submitted by: Cricket
Fic 1: pilgrimage by wolfsupremacist
Info: EXO RPF, Baekhyun/Sehun
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18411497/chapters/43607615
Cricket’s comment: I can't get over all the building in this fic -- the world building, the character building, the relationship building. The main character’s development was like watching a child grow: it's hard to see it happening, but once you reflect on who he became versus who he was, it's so obvious how he changed.
Fic 2: the eye of providence by minhyukwithagun
Info: NCT RPF, Jaehyun/Taeyong
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14981330
Cricket’s comment: I have genuinely never laughed so hard while reading a fic.There were so many little details that the author added that were unnecessary to the overall plot but just made the characters so much more real. You get to learn so much about everyone in such a (relatively) short amount of time.
Fic 3: so collect your scars and wear them well by addandsubtract
Info: Hockey RPF, Connor McDavid/Dylan Strome
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5075128
Cricket’s comment: I feel like this fic changed me as a writer. It touches on such a relatable subject: that feeling of being completely unsure of what you should do with your life when Plan A doesn't work out, and discovering who you are without the thing that you previously thought defined you.
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Submitted by: Claire
Fic 1: The Baffled King and The Idiot Hero by Ellarose C
Info: Hetalia, ?
Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5819880/1/
Claire’s comment: This fic launched 3 of my high school friendships that continue to this day. It's cute and Hallmark levels of unrealistic, and I LOVE it. The overwhelming nostalgia and gratefulness I feel towards this fic (and all of Carrie's work, honestly) still blows me away.
Fic 2: Embers by Vathara
Info: Avatar: The Last Airbender, gen
Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5398503/1/
Claire’s comment: The best, wildest, most comprehensively worldbuilt ATLA fic I have ever read. Tea, dragons, realistic motivations, that ending... perfect. *chef kiss*
Fic 3: Of A Linear Circle (series) by flamethrower
Info: HP, various
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/755028
Claire’s comment: I linked the whole series because I simply cannot pick a favorite installment. OaLC focuses on fixing the glaring plot holes in the Wizarding education system, accurately depicting the Founders' Era thanks to copious research, and showing that no one is truly irredeemable (except Voldemort himself, who more than earns it).
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Submitted by: Threepwillow
Fic 1: All the Other Ghosts by rainjoys
Info: Glee, Kurt/Blaine
Link: https://rainjoyswriting.livejournal.com/146587.html
Threepwillow’s comment: All The Other Ghosts and its direct sequel, Grey, are some of the most incredibly original and simultaneously incredibly transformative works of fanfiction I have ever read. The way they masterfully twist elements of canon to fit into the lore of their AU is second only to the profound, revelatory character studies that they've executed. This shit is extraordinary.
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Submitted by: Segs
Fic 1: Hemostuck (series) by roachpatrol and urbanAnchorite
Info: Homestuck, various
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/8470
Seg’s comment: THE WORLDBUILDING. THE ARTWORK. THE NARRATIVE VOICE(S). THE INCREDIBLE GRASP ON CHARACTERIZATION. DID I MENTION THE WORLDBUILDING.
Fic 2: transistor by fishcola
Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760093/chapters/44503969
Seg’s comment: Rips my heart to shreds piece-by-piece and then gently puts it back together in the end. It's another put-these-characters-in-a-darker-setting sort of thing. It is brilliant and beautiful and I love it dearly.
Fic 3: any sign of spring by bluecarrot
Info: Hamilton, Hamilton/Burr
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7523227/chapters/17100376
Seg’s comment: This fic is so dang atmospheric. It feels very physical -- the temperature, the environment, the drawing. It's bittersweet, but ends on the sweet, and I think the sweetness is all the more emphasized for it. Rereading it feels like coming back to a familiar place.
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Submitted by: Ang
Fic 1: Anarchy In The U.K. by Yahtzee
Info: X-Men First Class, Erik/Charles
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673552/chapters/1232410
Ang’s comment: the writing of this one made it so easy to get completely lost in the au while still knowing the characters so well from the source material! super engaging, totally consumed my life for a week
Fic 2: blackjacks running down by back by dangerbears
Info: 1D, Harry/Louis
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/499474
Ang’s comment: this is like my comfort blanket fic! every time i reread it (even though i'm not in that fandom anymore), it's still just as funny and cute as it was the very first time i read it - again the au is so easily believable because the characterizations are so familiar.
Fic 3: this city bleeds its aching heart by renne
Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829
Ang’s comment: unsurprisingly, it's another au that is so easy to fall into! this is another one that i've been consistently rereading since i first read it (in 2015, for this one) because it's my absolute favorite trope with a ship that i'm still very much into!
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Submitted by: Scout
Fic 1: she called it a void by vans88
Info: Star Wars, Finn/Poe/Rey
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5493500
Scout’s comment: Short and powerful and essential to anyone's viewing of the new Star Wars trilogy. Seriously one of the most careful, tender, and graceful queer addendums to a piece of pop culture this decade.
Fic 2: The Love Song of The North American Douchebag by gyzym
Info: Star Trek RPF, Chris/Zach
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/852395
Scout’s comment: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I HOPE I CAN SWEAR. I'm not even in this fandom. The world building is just THAT good. It's one of my highlights *because* of its power to draw me in as a standalone. So much fucking talent in the transformative work community. The banter, characterization, sardonic-ness of this – international impact baby!
Fic 3: all this learning here is by you by decinq, nighimpossible
Info: Hockey RPF, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5105441
Scout’s comment: Revolutionized – and I would argue – drove the GROWTH AND SURVIVAL of hockey fandom. One of the best known works in the fandom, and a masterclass in how to build a set of characters that you're genuinely envious you don't get to see or know. Two incredible authors and a plethora of personality. Fun and sexy and lighthearted but poignant. Chef kiss.
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Submitted by: Em
Fic 1: the subtle science and exact art of chess-boxing, by fishcola
Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18931885/chapters/44945971
Em’s comment: fishcola is definitely one of the top reasons i actually started reading/writing polygon rpf. this fic!!!!! i sWEAR its so /so/ good oh my GOSH. yes, full disclosure im fish's beta for chessboxing but also i am enthusiastic simply because it is a very beautiful and powerful narrative on trauma, healing, and how the people we choose to interact with affect our emotions.
Fic 2: the old men call me by my mother’s name by theviolonist
Info: HP, Hermione/Ron
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1044467
Em’s comment: as a certified Trans(TM) im always pursuing and consuming trans content. the old men call me by my mother's name is an hp fic that i still cherish years after first reading it. trans!ron is a concept not often explored in hp fic, much less trans /girl/ ron. massive gender feels, folks.
Fic 3: national hot dad alliance is now calling… by dicaeopolis, owlinaminor
Info: Haikyuu! , various
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663683/chapters/13045579
Em’s comment: national hot dad alliance really is the perfect evolution of a groupchat fic. i laughed, i cried, i fell in love with the characters all over again as these captains from different teams bond over graduating. and also being Dads(TM). in some cases-- pining over their fellow volleyball players-- plus star wars, the x-files, and memes. overall its is very good and i will stan it eternally
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Submitted by: Staci
Fic 1: No Homo, by orphan account
Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148039/chapters/2326073
Staci’s comment: Literally my favorite AU ever written. The characterization is SO on point and it truly is a super fun read. It’s also a super long which helps with painting such a detailed picture of these two dummies who are-totally-just-bros-with-added-benefits. I’d recommend this to anyone, even if they’re unaware of Teen Wolf, but if you’re a Teen Wolf fan then it’s even better.
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Submitted by: Nadine
Fic 1: Too Long, Too Close (series) by callmejude
Info: MCU RPF, Chris/Sebastian
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/253528
Nadine’s comment: kink exploration and bdsm done well.... and so thoroughly. but there's more! theres FEELINGSSSSSS uhhhhhhh it made me CRY it's so good.
Fic 2: On a Clear Day by Saras_Girl
Info: HP, Harry/Draco
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/879841
Nadine’s comment: I could've put a few other fics by this author because they write the best drarry but uhhhhh. I had to choose and it was either gonna be TURN or this one. Idk why but this one makes me so unbelievably emotional bc it was Harry who's Going Through Stuff and I just loved it a lot.
Fic 3: around the world in eighty thousand days, by fallfreely
Info: 1D, Liam/Harry
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/856935
Nadine’s comment: It was hard to pick a 1D fave but I think that this fic always had a v special place in my heart & I can't even explain why. I love the dynamic of this pairing (even though it's not even my OTP, wtf. I'm a Gryles and Narry truther... *eye emoji*) and the whole FEEL of this fic and it's slow burn tour fic, soo.
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Submitted by: Frecklebomb
Fic 1: Shalbatana
Info: Mars Trilogy, Gen
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6629
Frecklebomb’s comment: A beautifully-written gen fic (with an incredibly gorgeous podfic by Luzula) in the near-future-scifi Mars Trilogy fandom but very easy to enjoy without canon knowledge. I revisit this story over and over and always marvel at the presence of the landscape and alien planet in it, the way it feels like a character. Bonus Mars rover feelings (I cry every time about the robot).
Fic 2: Through a Glass Darkly, by susiecarter
Info: DCU, Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19395793/chapters/46155535
Frecklebomb’s comment: Sprawling post-apocalyptic epic, so rich and cinematic that it feels like a movie I somehow read. The worldbuilding and tension of the focal ship are what sucked me into this fic, but what stayed with me was the richness of the ensemble characters. I find myself just thinking about their character arcs, and imagining what they'd be doing post-story. I want fic of this fic.
Fic 3: Too Far Down The Road, by SoniaVice
Info: Hockey, OMC/OMC
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13208136/chapters/30212907
Frecklebomb’s comment: An amnesia trope origfic set in handwavey hockey fandom (author said they 'set it free' to be OMC/OMC when the dynamic needed to be different from the RPF ship it started out as). It gives me so many good feelings about family (of choice and otherwise) and ageing and self-acceptance and sexuality, and the way you can choose to be changed by the people you spend your life with.
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Submitted by: Em (Springsteen)
Fic 1: Pull Me Under, by zarah5
Info: 1D, Harry/Louis
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870766
Em’s comment: first of all zarah5 is a fandom legend. second, this is like the pinnacle of fake relationship fics to me it's 140k and so much of it is pining and like truly, who among us doesn't love harry styles with their whole heart. I can't think about the '10s without thinking about one direction and when this fic came out I remember a lot of people fully losing their minds.
Fic 2: Door to Door, by Ferritin4
Info: Hockey RPF, Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3478298
Em’s comment: this is one of the first hockey fics I ever read and I still come back to it so often. The relationship builds so well, Tyler's dogs are in it, it's just so sweet, and plus it's a very readable 10k.
Fic 3: Darling It Is No Joke, by thehoyden
Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/399194
Em’s comment: look I can't be retrospective about this decade and /not/ include a sterek fic. the first half of this decade for me was all 1d and teen wolf and full disclosure, it's been a while since I've reread this fic, but I remember the banter being really stellar and thehoyden is another one of those authors who I just. Adore.
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Submitted by: Dan
Fic 1: The Heart Rate of a Mouse (series) by Anna (arctic_grey)
Info: Bandom, Ryan Ross/Brendan Urie
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/712953
Dan’s comment: This fic is incredibly iconic. It’s definitely one of my favorites of all time—the way the story is told is just heart wrenching, and it manages to always keep you on edge about what’s going to happen. The portrayal of self discovery, love, jealousy, down to the settings and all the social issues of the time period (the 70s), is amazingly done.
Fic 2: The Cat’s Miaow by Pennyplainknits
Info: Bandom, Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930529
Dan’s comment: This fic is unlike anything else I’ve read. First off, I LOVE historical AUs, and the noir setting is everything I could have wanted and more. The author has managed to create such a delicate and profound romance along with an interesting plot that borders on thriller without ever going too far with either side of the story.
Fic 3: Get Real Get Right (Fuckin Right) by sophiahelix
Info: Riveyonce Cuoknowles, Sufjan Stevens/Drake
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9029020
Dan’s comment: Honestly? This is just art.
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Submitted by: Carina
Fic 1: Bite Marks by provocative_envy
Info: HP, Hermione/Draco
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3580953/chapters/7894464
Carina’s comment: i've shied away from aus in harry potter fic for years, especially american college aus but this fic in my opinion kept the best of the characters and modernized them in a way that felt true to who they are.
Fic 2: old jokes from a wild youth, by knightspur
Info: SEVENTEEN RPF, Mingyu/Minghao
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18127073
Carina’s comment: mingyu and minghao are in love, but they're not soulmates. i love the dynamics and the quiet intimacy between them, and also how they work through wanting to be together despite them not having a bond in the way soulmates have.
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Submitted by: Katy
Fic 1: The River and The Deep Green Bend by liquidmeasure
Info: 1D, Harry/Niall
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6005275
Katy’s comment: this fic honestly surpasses the genre of fic. it is a genre all its own. it is the pinnacle in catharsis and heartbreak and having a satisfying end that is completely unsatisfying as well. I will never recover from this fic.
Fic 2: Out of the Dead Land by Orphan Account
Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1871955
Katy’s comment: there is a specific phrase in this fic that has and will continue to stay with me. I will never hear the phrase "up or down" without feeling immense heartbreak. an amazing blend of source material to create something altogether its own - but could still take place in either canon
Fic 3: Up We Go by Oh_Hey_Tae
Info: BTS, Taehyung/Jimin
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12297168
Katy’s comment: this fic is one that I found more recently, but I can already tell that it is one that is going to stick with me for a long long time. it is another fic that I feel transcends the genre of fic entirely
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Submitted by: Corie
Fic 1: Build A Temple In Me by Authoress
Info: Haikyuu!, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3716002
Corie’s comment: A wonderful and moving fanfic with fantasy akin to studio ghibli. If I have to recommend Haikyuu fanfiction this is it.
Fic 2: Close to the Chest by darkmagicalgirl
Info: Haikyuu!, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3898771/chapters/8721568
Corie’s comment: Another haikyuu!! Fic! I remember reccing this to my friend and she said it was more akin to a novel then any fanfiction she has read. High praise IMO
Fic 3: Fake Sugar by minverse
Info: BTS, Jungkook/Seokjin
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14707098/chapters/33987549
Corie’s comment: Oh sweet god I love minverse’s writing and this fic has it all. Romance, smut, and a nice dollop of humor.
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Submitted by: Abby
Fic 1: an awful curse by blinkiesays
Info: Teen Wolf, Stiles/Derek
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/604092
Abby’s comment: Non-linear timeline, au within the story, "every me loves every you," domesticity but also heavy angst, and it's so beautifully written it makes me want to cry reading it. also it harkens back to the time of when the show was still good.
Fic 2: dance this silence down (the emergency room remix) by Fahye
Info: Les Miserables, Enjorlas/Grantaire
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994140/chapters/1966093
Abby’s comment: It's such a great, understandable ensemble fic for a dense canon, with such a great modern day au setting, but the whole time it really deals with the main character's depression and alcoholism and the complete overwhelming love that he has for the guy he's shipped with. it's so gritty and real but the ending brings so much hope I love it.
Fic 3: comment fic by anon
Info: iCarly, Sam/Spencer
Link: https://author-abz.livejournal.com/35003.html
Abby’s comment: this is an ANONYMOUS comment fic someone wrote me when I was feeling down on LJ and it's so short but so complete, and it says everything it needs to about it being okay to mess up and just be messed up together. also: "glitter emergency" (technically a cheat, it's from 2008; I forgot it was so old)
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Submitted by: Kassie
Fic 1: An Exercise in ‘Worthless’ by beastofthesky
Info: Supernatural, Dean/Castiel
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535676
Kassie’s comment: an exercise in worthless introduced me (indirectly) to my favorite musician and (directly) to the subject i almost minored in during undergrad, so honestly i would put it as a fic of the decade even if it wasn’t one of the best fics i read in the supernatural fandom.
Fic 2: Superstition (series) by Superstition_hockey
Info: Hockey, OMC/OMC
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/413233
Kassie’s comment: superstition started out as a tropey, fun, lighthearted short fic, and grew into a big thing that deals with a lot of serious topics incredibly well while also being still very funny and emotional and having honestly some of my favorite fictional characters i’ve read in years
Fic 3: United States v. Barnes
Info: MCU, Steve/Bucky
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2304905/chapters/5071058
Kassie’s comment: united states v barnes is the multimedia fic of my DREAMS. this is what i want to show people to explain why i love fanfic so much. it does so much with the medium its working in and the presentation of the fic, and fits that perfect fanfic niche of exploring the kind of background that will never appear in canon but that everyone wonders about.
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Submitted by: Kat
Fic 1: I’ve felt and I’ve Been by autotunedd
Info: Big Bang RPF, Seunghyun/Jiyong
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15349758/chapters/35616516
Kat’s comment: Possibly the fic that marked my entire decade. The characters are so human and real, the plot is heavy and winding and the twists sometimes seem life ending. It is heavy, it is painful, it is sad, it is angsty, it is maybe even a smidge too real and dangerous at times, but it makes a solid read, a long, relatable novel about real people with real fears and problems.
Fic 2: Eversion by thespectaclesofthor
Info: Detroit: Become Human, Hank Anderson/Connor
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15754140/chapters/36638253
Kat’s comment: Beautiful, long, detailed, well written, hard hitting, serious, sweet, painful, kinky, all in one! The characters have so much depth, their issues and inner workings seem so real and the plot is so carefully crafted and detailed, every chapter keeps you at the edge of your seat. All in all, beautifully crafted, passionate, hard hitting piece that I couldn't help falling in love with.
Fic 3: Eggshell Landscapes and the Burden of Love by NoContractTermination
Info: NCT RPF, Taeil/Johnny
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10446438
Kat’s comment: Short, sweet, angsty and charming! I loved the intimate look into their relationship this fic brings, the trials and tribulations and the struggle to communicate. It all seemed so raw and real and coupled with the author's beautiful writing, it all came together in a perfect read, with bounds of re-read potential.
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Submitted by: Wen
Fic 1: the bellwether by highoctane
Info: Polygon RPF, Brian/Pat
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18634426
Wen’s comment: Feelings!!! It's really refreshing to read a character who, as an established adult, is reconfiguring an understanding of himself without it being either a whole crisis or a sudden seamless lightbulb moment. It's very fair to both characters' emotions, letting them both react in a way that feels wonderfully human and real rather than idealistic.
Fic 2: Five Times the Potion Seller Refused to Sell a Potion (and One Time He Didn’t) by misura
Info: Potion Seller (Justin Kuritzkes Short Film), Knight/Potion Seller
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5441447
Wen’s comment: It's based on a 3 minute meme video and if it was just a tweet or post with the title alone it would be a great joke but... someone went and wrote the dang thing! And it could have been ridiculous crackfic, and while it certainly toes that line it's also got a really fun flow of dialogue that leaves a lot to the imagination without it getting confusing.
Fic 3: I Am The Horrible Goose That Lives In The Town by Daniel Lavery
Info: The Untitled Goose Game, gen
Link: https://www.shatnerchatner.com/p/i-am-the-horrible-goose-that-lives
Wen’s comment: the writing is tremendous and sits beautifully in that razor's edge space where english is used just strangely enough to create a fantastic character voice without going too far and falling into some kind of awkward english language uncanny valley. it's so hard to pick out the best line because every line is the best line. "Here I am coming, with the good news of me, and you hate it. You can think only of the bell and how much I have it, and you are never the goose."
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Submitted by: Mage
Fic 1: Fog, Sheets and Thunder by theopteryx
Info: My Chemical Romance RPF, Frank/Gerard
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351396
Mage’s comment: i have literally thought about this fic at least once a week since i read it in 2012. do not ask me why. i have no answers.
Fic 2: Flowers in Bones by fringecity (indiachick)
Info: BTS, Taehyung/Yoongi
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16256390
Mage’s comment: sometimes i just wanna be a careful selection of small animal bones that yoongi gently unearths and meticulously crafts into an altar of pressed flowers and ink
Fic 3: It Happened Quiet by hobimo
Info: BTS, Taehyung/Yoongi
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15070646/chapters/34939646
Mage’s comment: haunted woods :) cryptids :) that deeply unsettling feeling that there are greater, mysterious forces at work and there's nothing you can do about it :)
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Submitted by: BirdieLeonie
Fic 1: Reprise (series) by Elfpen
Info: Star Wars, various (Obi-Wan centric)
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/454408
BirdieLeonie’s comment: I spent about seven months of my life reading nothing but Star Wars time-travel fix-it fics. (I am not exaggerating; there are enough of them to last that long or longer.) This is my favorite.
Fic 2: Friday Night Arrives Without a Suitcase by marycontraire
Info: Hockey RPF, Danny Briere/Claude Giroux
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534247
BirdieLeonie’s comment: This is a fic I have kept coming back to again and again in the years since I first read it. It's domestic and sweet and still adult. It's like curtainfic, inverted; the leads live together and parent their kids and go grocery shopping before they have a romantic or sexual relationship.
Fic 3: The Hero’s Journey; or: What Jasper Sitwell Did Last Summer (podfic), by artzbots, blackglass, daroos, girlwithabubblegun, kalakirya, Opalsong, reena_jenkins, RsCreighton, sabinelagrande
Info: MCU & Welcome to Night Vale, Jemma Simmons/Jasper Sitwell
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6462223
BirdieLeonie’s comment: I love podfic, I love crossovers, and I love this fic. Again, I picked this because of all the thousands of MCU fics I've read, this is the one I find myself coming back to repeatedly. This crossover is creative, fun, and plays with one of my favorite tropes: what was happening to a minor character in the background of the story we saw?
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....ALL OF THE “IM NOT FROM THE US” QUESTIONS (or alternatively 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 but i’ll come back for more mwhahshs)
1. favourite place in your country?
Balaton without a doubt. It’s the biggest lake of the country and it has such an amazing atmosphere and feel to it, I really love spending my time there. I usually go at least once, if not more times a year and definitely spend some vacation time there, plus my grandma is from a city next to the lake, so really just many ties there.
2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad?
I love both? I love going abroad and exploring different cultures and seeing the world (I say that as if I’ve been to so many places when I really wasn’t), but there are also so many beautiful places in Hungary so ya know, both. Gimme both.
3. does your country have access to sea?
Nope, but it used to. We were just chopped up and lost 2/3 of our country after the two world wars.
4. favourite dish specific for your country?
Uhhh, SO MANY. Honestly I love Hungarian cousine so fucking much. Gotta love lecsó and pörkölt and Hortobagyer meat pancakes and Gulash and all the Hungarian food, please don’t make me choose.
5. favourite song in your native language?
Tábortűz by Emberek, and you’re just in luck cause there is a youtube video in which you can read the English translation.
6. most hated song in your native language?
I can’t think of any right now most because I just make myself forget about all the stupid songs my country creates.
7. three words from your native language that you like the most?
Szeretlek, which means I love you. Cipőfűzővégcédőpöcök, which is that protecting thingy at the end of shoelaces. And megszentségteleníthetetlrnségeskedéseitekért, which is this.
8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom?
I don’t think as a nation we get confused with others, we have a pretty unique culture and people, but I do know that a lot of people confuse Budapest and Bucharest, if that counts here.
9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best?
10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language?
“Menj a picsába!“ Which is mostly the same as “Go to hell!” but in the Hungarian version, if you wanna translate it word for word, it reads “Go to the pussy!“ which makes no sense whatsoever in English but it does make sense in Hungarian s2g.
11. favourite native writer/poet?
Géza Gárdonyi, who wrote, among others things, wrote the book called Eclipse of the Crescent Moon. It’s my favorite Hungarian book without a doubt, favorite classic as well most likely. It tells the story of a siege of a Hungarian castle in Eger in 1552. The siege was a really big thing in Hungarian history and the book tells the story of some of its most famous figures, how they grew up, how they actually got to the castle and how the siege went down, and now I really just wanna reread the entire thing all over again.
12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem?
Never really read any of them, so I don’t have opinions.
13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?
Hmmmm. Probably the strangest is that for us, Santa Clause comes on December 6th and then Jesus Christ brings the Christmas presents on Christmas Eve, not Christmas Day.
We also have a tradition on Eastern Monday where the guys go around the houses to “sprinkle” the girls so they wouldn’t “wither like flowers”, which means you either get buckets of water poured all over you or you they pour a bunch of badly smelling parfumes (like REEEEEALLY BAD ONES) onto your hair and it’s such bullshit and I hate that day with a pure passion.
14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV?
Lately I’ve been enjoying it more and more. There was a good 15-20 years period when literally nothing was done that was good or even acceptable but now more and more good movies are made and now we have some good tv shows too which is nice. I still mostly watch foreign stuff though.
15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?
Uhh, can I pass this? I really can’t think of anything.
16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with?
I actually had to look up what kind of stereotypes there are about Hungary, but I really didn’t like the one that kept popping up about Hungarian girls being easy. Fuck that shit, that is really really stupid. The one that I agree with is about our food - that we use a lot of fat and paprika in our food. 100% true. Most of our traditional dishes include both of them and a lot of it but not in a bad way? Like ok I get that probably most people would find them too much, but I do believe if they give it a try, they will realize that it’s actually really good and tasty and you can’t actually taste the fat or anything, it just makes it better. People also say because of our dish types that we eat like kings and I am happy to accept thatxD (it’s most said cause we eat a lot of meat, we have fish soup, different meat soups, we eat stuff like stuffed cabage, stuff that used to be at big feasts)
17. are you interested in your country’s history?
YESSS. I love our history, I think it’s incredibly interesting, incredibly rich and full of amazing stuff. Hungary is over 1000 years old, so many things happened during that time - we had our highs, we had our lows, but we always came out on top and survived in the end and I think that is amazing and something to be proud of.
18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?
I mean, I am not sure? I don’t think so, but I might be wrong. I mean, there are stuff people say differently on other sides of the country, but it’s not that much distinct. It’s more noticable when it comes to those Hungarians who unfortunately don’t live in Hungary anymore (those who live in the neighbor countries because after the ww 2/3 of our country was taken from us)
19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem?
I love our flag, though then again it might just be that that is what I know. But it’s nice. I am not too happy about the anthem, it’s too depressing to me.
20. which sport is The Sport in your country?
Football (and by football I mean soccer football) which is a shame cause we suck at it. Like, we won 3 olympic gold medals in a row in waterpolo, but ya know, fuck logic. And I could list so many other sports our country is really good at, but people go nuts about football, so what can you do. (And I am not saying I don’t like the sport, I always watch the world cup, but it’s sad to see the country putting so much money into something we are shit in, putting the players up on a pedestal and forgetting about those who actually get really nice and amazing results.)
21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?
Uhhhhhhhhh. Paprika and a picture of the Balaton.
22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed?
I am generally really proud of our history, that despite whatever shit we were put through, we are still standing, after 1100+ years of being here. And I am ashamed of the general homophobia and fatphobia and racism and the way most people handle this topic aside from the youth. We are really behind on this. Also the fact that we actually have a movie that is called “Coming Out” and it’s about the most stereotypical gay man you’ve ever seen getting hit by a motorbike and suddenly turning straight and him coming out as straight cause legit that is the dumbest and most horrible thing I’ve seen on tv and I want to set everyone who worked on it on flames.
23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country?
Beer and wine is pretty popular, plus pálinka, which a Hungarian specific really high % level alcoholic beverage (like 45%-60% even) that we drink in shots.
24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country?
Uhhh, probably Chineese people? It’s really bad, really just the usual racist stereotypical stuff and I hate it.
25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country?
I think every country has its problems and I am glad I was born here because of the places and the language itself - it’s so fucking beautiful and amazing and lyrical. Would I wanna live here for the rest of my life, though? Nope, definitely not.
26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?
Not really. I specifically remember a Gilmore Girl episode where Michel spoke some stupid Hungarian shit, but other than that… most of the time they call our food shit and make fun of us. Which is really not cool and I hate that so much. (B99 did an episode once where Charles was praising a Hungarian restaurant with a sausage platter and I was SO EXCITED but then Jake called it shit and I knew immediately that most people will believe Jake cause they played on Charles’ weird taste and that everyone will think it’s just one of Charles’ ticks again and it made me so sad srsly. STOP TELLING PEOPLE OUR FOOD IS SHIT, IT’S NOT TRUE)
27. favourite national celebrity?
pass
28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites?
We have a couple of lakes, two pretty big river and like REALLY SMALL mountains. Most of them I would more likely call them bigger hills instead of mountains tbh. But the biggest geographical thing is definitely the Balaton, which is a big ass lake that most people go to during the summer. It’s also the biggest lake of Eastern Europe which is nice. I love that place, that is definitely my favorite.
29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?
Uhhh, the uni in my city has a beef with the uni I went to cause they used to be under the uni I went to and then they seperated from them and there is some weird who was right stuff going on but other than that not really.
30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family?
Nope.
#kid-gorgeous#answered#answered: ask meme#about#hungarian#LOOK AT THIS#HALF A YEAR LATER#BUT I FINALLY FINISHED THIS
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sleep
pt. 2 (might be triggering. check out the tags for info)
...
keith knocked on lance's door when he hadn't swung by for dinner like he said he would. he had a nagging feeling in his gut since he pulled into his boyfriend's parent's place that night. mrs. mccain answered the door with a smile and told him that lance had been in his room all night. keith smiled at the lady before making the treck upstairs.
he lightly knocked on lance's bedroom door. he listened as closely as he could, but was met with only silence. at this point, his stomach was rolling with anxiety as he knocked once more, once again finding silence on the other side. his hand slid to the doorknob and he pushed open the door only to fall to his knees. a choked cry ripped from his throat as he took in the scene be for him.
lance, his lance, bleeding out on his vomit covered bed, seizing every few moments. his eyes were rolled back into his head and his skin had paled signifigantly from the beautiful tan that keith had come to love. he'd heard when lance's mother found him. he'd felt when he was pushed to the side. he'd watched as she ran to her son's side, grasping him in her arms, as she called for an ambulance. but all he could think is how he'd failed his boyfriend, the love of his life.
...
it was the next morning when lance came to. his stomach was freshly pumped and he had an iv drip connected to his arm. both of his arms had been stitched up and bandaged and he was left hollow.
i cant even kill myself properly. he thought as he laid back in his hospital bed.
his parents had come in and cried over him and proaded him and showered him in kisses. he smiled softly, repeating that he was fine.
his friends had come to visit and tried to make him laugh but even in his bed, bandaged and depressed, he brought smiles to their faces and shown the spotlight on them.
then keith entered the room. he sat in a chair to lance's right, a hand coming up to lightly caress his cheek.
"i found you, you know." lance grimaced and pulled away from keith's hand.
"ya know, mullet," he started, gazing past keith out of his window. "i wish you didn't." he smiled sadly. tears shining in his eyes. keith continued to stroke lance's face lovingly.
"why'd you do it lance?" keith sighed, his eyebrows furrowing. lance opened his mouth to speak, then hesitated, as if he were mentally deleting, then revising his words.
"im tired, keith." he smiled. "ive been screaming and screaming for ages for someone to just fucking notice me, ya know? im constantly yelling into a void, screaming of how i dont want to be here- about how i want to die. about how i want to kill myself." he took a shaky breath. "but no one cares. not one fucking person cares. so many days ive gone without talking to anyone. no one notices im gone. i dont show up to school half the time but i still have perfect attendance. i post shit online about how much i want to fucking kill myself and get nothing in reply. the world doesn't change without me. everyone can get on with their lives. they can work more efficiently. they can learn more. be happier. live fuller lives.”
he looked at keith.
"and i'll be cold, burried six feet deep."
...
lance was perscribed a medication but his parenrs waved it off, claiming that their child didnt need any more medication to function normally. they'd also denied him a psychiatrist, claiming that all lance needed was a stronger standing with the lord. after that day in the hospital keith didnt see much of lance anymore. he was taken out of the garrison and placed in a catholic school. anyone had only seen him at the end of summer when he had to buy the new uniform. his cheeks were sunken in and his eyes had lost their usual spark.
during the summers his parents sent him to a conversion camp, claiming that it was his gay energy that drove him to suicide. during the school year he stayed inside every day, reading and rereading the bible. his online presence had been put on a hiatus since that day, his parents knew that it was the bad influences online that drove him to try and take his own life.
keith saw lance one more time. it was four years after his attempt. he was by the neighborhood lake at sunset. keith was across the street, walking his new puppy, red. he stopped in his tracks when he saw him, his grey eyes meeting lance's empty blue ones.
he smiled and said his last words to keith.
that night, lance raised a gun to his head and pulled the trigger, a smile on his face.
keith attended his funeral which was held a week after his death. as he stood in front of his grave, he could only think of the last words lance had said to him.
"Goodnight, my love."
...
well that's that. im going to get to the prompts in my inbox but i just wanted to finish this up. thanks for reading. this one is kinda super close to home so basically i hope you enjoyed me practically bearing my soul to you haha. keep sending me prompts! thanks guys.
- day
#triggering#suicide#major character death#langst#keith#klangst#klance#sleep#sorry#im projecting#oops
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"Actually, can I ride you?"
YO sO I Wrote A FIc anD it’s SmuT Im GoINg StrAIght To HELL i HoPE to See u alL ThEre alONG wITh dan ANd PhIl excePT tHEY arE Not GOIng stRaiGHt to HelL cUz thEY Be NOt stRaighT oOps
Also I am a child what am I doing with my life and this is my first fic and i can’t write if my life depended on it so ignore the mistakes also I haven’t reread it so :c
Tags?: SMUT (yes we r all sinners oops), masturbation, high school au I guess, riding and idk I kinda forgot what happens haha
Anyway read it if u want here we go.
Dan and Phil were in school. They hated it. They were both bullied for being gay. They were both teased for their relationship. They hated everything about to school. It felt like them vs the world, like everyone was against them. It was lunch and dan and Phil were both sat outside on the bench under the tree which was their usual spot. “Do you still want to come over tonight?” Dan asked while cuddled up to Phil. “Ye.” Phil relied. “You might as well stay the night, I’ll ask my mum.” Dan said as he grabbed his phone and texted his mum. She replied within minutes. Phil had a really good relationship with dans parents. They were always polite and it felt like home, he could just walk in whenever he wanted and it wouldn’t be questioned. “She says sure.” Dan said with a smile. “I’ll go home first and then I’ll come over because I need to get my stuff.” They spent the rest of lunch enjoying being in each other company. The bell rang and they went off to their lessons.
Dan came home and slung his bag on his bed. He immediately got changed and made sure his room was presentable enough for Phil, not that Phil would care but it felt like the right thing to do. After he had finished tidying dan received a text from Phil saying “Hey, I’m just gonna do the dishes and wait for my mum to come home from work so she can drive me because i really can’t be bothered walking. I’ll be an hour max. Xx <3” Dan smiled and replied. Dan thought he would use the time he had left logically. Dan, after all is a teen, and Dan and Phil hadn’t had sex yet. Which is obviously understandable, they had made out(a lot) and on a few incidents they had come in their pants but haven’t had sex. He figured that because he didn’t want to make it awkward when he enviably got a boner while they were sleeping next to each other he would quickly sort himself before Phil got there. To try and prevent and awkward situations.
Dan rushed to his room where his laptop was, took off his super tight ripped jeans, with struggle. And he proceeded to remove the rest of his clothes and opened his laptop. He searched for some gay porn and propped his laptop at the perfect angle, throwing his head back. He was already hard, Gotta love being a teenager. He poured some lube onto his hand and slightly stroked his now extremely hard dick. Using whatever lube was left on his hand he began fingering himself with one finger. Lot long after he added another, and another.
Phil opened the door and walked in, surprised Dan wasn’t downstairs waiting for him like he usually is. He assumed dan was in his room and just hadn’t heard him so he sprinted up the stairs and turned left then stopped as he started hearing small whimpers almost moans coming from the room at the end of the hall, Dans room. He slowly walked to his door and pushed it open to reveal dan completely naked spread out on his bed, his fingers up his ass, laptop open and releasing moans. Dan somehow still hadn’t noticed the surprise visitor at the door, too busy pushing his fingers in and out of his ass quickly. Phil could feel himself harder than ever and pulsing inside his jeans. “Preparing for me, are we?” Phil said with a smirk, he didn’t really know what happened he just kind of blurted it out. Dans eyes shot open his cheeks burning red from the heat, hair sticking to his forehead. He yelped. Grabbed his quilt to cover himself and shut his laptop as quick as he could. Phil walked over to dan. It felt like it was in slow motion Phil removed his shoes and his pants, his t-shirt slowly following. Dan was still in complete shock and unable to tear his eyes away from the huge bulge in Phils boxers. Phil sat at the end of the bed and pulled of the quilt before getting on top of dan and locking their lips. At this point dan didn’t care anymore and devoted all his attention to the present. Kissing Phil felt amazing like every time they kissed sparks flew. Dan began tugging at the band of Phils boxers before pulling them off completely and tossing them to the side. “Lube?” Phil asked out of breath. “Top drawer.” Dan replied also out of breath. Phil broke apart their kiss to reach over and grab the lube. He poured onto his hand and spread all over his dick. “Are you ready?” Phil said still on top of dan. “Actually, can I ride you?” Dan asked shyly turning even brighter red which he didn’t think was possible. Phil nodded and rolled over so he was on his back laying next to dan. Dan sat up and looked at Phil who was smirking at him. Dan lifted one leg over him so his ass kinda lined up with phils dick. He put his hands either side of Phil to stabilise himself. “I’m ready, are you?” Dan asked. Phil moaned and nodded in response because even the thought of dan riding him was enough to send pulses straight to his throbbing dick. Dan lowered himself onto Phil slowly as soon as they made contact Phil whined in pleasure and couldn’t help to let a few moans escape his mouth. Dans eyes shut quickly as he pushed further and further down. Dan stopped when he reached the base of Phils cock. He lifted himself up an slowly building a rhythm. phil was completely gone, a moaning mess. Dan picked up the pace slowly but surly and making sure to keep trying to angle himself so that phil would hit his prostate. And there it was, dan moaned and screamed in absolute pleasure. Phil smiled because he knew he had just hit his prostate. Dan stayed at this angle moving even faster. Hitting his prostate every time. “Da…Dan I’m gonn….gonna come!” Phil groaned. “D…do yyyou want to stop?” Phil continued. “No phil, IIII don’t care please cum for me. In me.” Dan replied in absolute awe. “I think I’m clo…close too phil.”
Phil took this as a sign to start stroking dans dick which was throbbing and leaking, this made dan scream once again. “DANNNN!” Phil yelled as he came into dan, dan still bouncing on Phil helping him ride out his orgasm. As Phil finished than couldn’t hold it any longer and he came hard onto Phils chest and hand. Dan finished and rolled of Phil to lay down next to him. “Sorry.” Dan replied looking at Phil covered in his cum. “Don’t be it’s fine. It was more than fine actually it was hot as hell if I’m being honest.” Phil replied making them both laugh.
They stood up and started to dress, Phil looked over at his incredibly hot boyfriend who was still flustered and he could already feel himself getting hard again. Dan spotted Phil looking at him and he smiled back and he looked down and saw his boyfriend was completely hard. “Round 2?” Dan asked giggling. “Fuck. I hate being a teen.” Was all phil could reply with as he locked their lips. “I’ve never been more happy about the fact that my parents work late.” Dan chuckled. “Shut up and take of your boxers.” Phil replied both of them laughing so much that it hurt.
***************** Okay so why r people actually reading this I'm so confused aha thanks I guess
#phan trash#phanfiction#phan smut#danhowell#danisnotonfire#amazingphil#phillester#dan and phil#phandom
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At 11: 51 pm 4/12, an email to a certain blog.
hey
listen i know that emails arent my usual mo but bear with me im trying something new
yeah bear with me i say then dont know what the fuck to say
i got so much i gotta tell you
how much of this stuff can i tell you that youll even understand
god i must be so hard to understand
flipping back and forth like one of those flipping billboards that turn right before you actually manage to read whats on sign
cause i know i have this like
habit
of taking all the good shit you offer me
companionship and support and a safety net and all that
then turning around and fuckin
pretending like i dont need any of it
like im a big enough dude to save the president sure i dont go into fits when i see people do daily activities like cook and sew doilies
and then going and in the same breath doing the exact opposite shit
going on and on about how much of a fuckin victim of circumstance i am
oh yeah that totally innocuous every day thing sure would be fun if i wasnt soooo broken
sooooo fucked up
did it tell you i came from somewhere fucked up already??? cause i did and wah its never getting better oh wait no dont sympathy me im too cool for that i got this
back and forth like a goddamn seesaw
god i must be obnoxious to deal with
retroactive sorry on that one
and you know what the real kicker is
for all that huffing and puffing about strider credos and stoicism warping my tragic backstory into batman style phobia powered crime fighting kickassery
it never did a godamn thing
and it wasnt like i was doing anything wrong either i wasnt not good enough at being a coolguy
it was just that being a coolguy didnt do jack shit for how much it fucking sucked
no you know what
it didnt fucking suck
it hurt
it hurts
so godamn badly
i miss
a lot of things
i miss some things i never actually had
id take every day
rotting off my own bones
chopped up and bleeding goddamn everywhere with unhealing wounds always hurting like theyd just been severed
id take all that again for the rest of my sorry life over the pain im feeling right now
but thats not how bargining in the real world works
and goddamn it theres not a soul to blame
i thought for the longest time things wouldnt be like this if i had just been better in the moment
but the fact of the matter is sometimes shit things happen to good people for no fucking reason
and theres no save file to reload and no shits given for fairness
and when somethings gone
its gone
so i need to get off my ass for once and do what i should have done a long time ago
(strap in cause im just gonna have to embrace my uwu catboy flowerboy strideralt side here for a sec and get real beyond reason here)
laffi
thank you
for everything you have ever done for me
at some point your returns had to be outweighed by your loses but still you never gave up on me
you kept giving all you got for me and im never going to be able to tell you how much that meant to me
i wouldnt tell you how much you got under my skin back then because that would give you too much power and i didnt trust you with that
prided myself on not trusting anyone with that
i knew that would give you a level of control i couldnt afford
but it simply does not fucking matter anymore which is why im sending this now
ive used up even inch of my spare time and i cant look away anymore
i have to keep going
and deal with that kind of vague ass always with me hallmark movie sentiment i have never fucking wanted to try experiencing
but gotta anyways
so lafayette
from the bottom of the heart you restarted
im sorry this was so damn confusing
thank you for everything
i love you
so much
and i think i always will
-budgie
(ps i reread this monstrosity and it sounds like a really questionable note i swear im not gonna do anything drastic
i just needed to get it all out there for once)
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coming out (six) ⇾ camren
Authors Note: HI GUYS! I’m really sorry for being so shitty in keeping up with this book, a lot has been happening lately. My fiancée’s father died about two weeks after New Years and she’s been really torn about that because we are still arranging dates for our wedding and she was really excited for him to walk her down the aisle and be the first daughter of his to get married but everything happened so fast.
He had a seizure at dinner, ambulance and everything came, it was very sudden. Basically at the hospital they tell us that he has a basically inoperable brain tumor which none of us knew of. He’s been complaining about sharp pains and headaches for basically all of 2016 and we’ve all been urging him to go and have it checked out but he hates hospital more than anything and absolutely refused. The tumor was intact cancerous. He was placed in the hospital overnight for many nights and it basically got worse and worse each day. He had a series of seizures the night he died.
I’ve taken a break from writing to be there not only for my fiancée and her family, but for myself as well. Her dad was pretty much my dad in my eyes. If you haven’t already known, I’ve been in and out foster care systems for a big portion of my life because both parents had died due to drug addiction. I was in fact adopted later on in my life and I have the worlds best adoptive parents who are pretty much my own parents even if we don’t have the same blood but her father was there for me when my adoptive father wasn’t. He travels a lot and was gone for so much that i pretty much only had my adoptive mother to rely on as a parent figure until I met my fiancée and her dad. So when he died, it took a toll on me as well.
I focused mainly on reading and kind of chose to forget writing for a little while. This week my fiancée is in Canada going over funeral arrangements with her mother and other extended family and I’m home alone basically so I’ve found some spare time and decided to start this series up again considering it doesn’t have many chapters left since it is a short series. Its basically a one shot with many parts so I decided to give it a go again.
I’m really sorry though for being so M.I.A. I promise to update as much as I can, as I said before I’m ready to start some new fanfics and I can’t wait to share those with you.
I’m not usually one to share all my personal problems for fear of coming off attention seeking but you know what, fuck it. I kind of feel like you guys deserve an explanation. I’ve gotten many dms asking me to continue so here I am.
Also, TODAY IS MY 20TH BIRTHDAY! Its also the one year anniversary of me asking my fiancée to be my fiancée lmao. Hopefully we can get married for real though this fall when everything simmers down. But wow, I am no longer in my teens. I’m an adult dammit. Lmfao.
Anyways, enjoy this chapter and thank you for those of you who didn’t remove this story from your library.
Camila|
Watching Lauren walk away from her was almost harder than feeling herself walk away from Lauren. Her chest felt tight as her eyes sprang with tears. If only she’d let me explain…
Sighing softly to herself, she retreated back to find Lola as her attempt to slowly begin to mend things with her former band mate had failed miserably.
Coming to a stop in front of her girlfriend, Camila sighed. Her head throbbed the minute the girl had opened her mouth, “Why’d you chase after her?” Lola asked immediately.
“I just wanted to see how she was doing Lo-” she cut herself off. Lo was Lauren’s nickname. “Lola.”
The hazel eyed girl huffed as she pouted her lips slightly, “You don’t still have that stupid… Camren thing with her, right?” She asked. “I mean, I’m not really sure why that was even a thing. You’re way out of her league. She’s like a negative two hundred on the scale,” she scoffed.
Camila ground her teeth together as she looked down. Lola really knew how to piss someone off. “Lets go home,” she mumbled. She didn’t have time to deal with her shit.
Lauren|
Its been two days since she last ran into Camila. Its been two days since she was reminded of all that went wrong in her life. Seeing the successful singer made Lauren’s blood boil but heart throb all at once. She didn’t understand anything her body was telling her. All that was the least bit comprehendible was that Camila was bad news and Lauren stayed away from bad news no matter what.
She sighed softly to herself as she stood from her and Lucy’s bed. Lucy had gone off for coffee with an old friend Lauren didn’t know of until about a week ago but she didn’t question it. Lucy wasn’t obligated to share everything with her.
She has the day off and wasn’t really sure what to do with it. Normally she’d be spending it with Lucy but that was clearly out of the picture.
She stretched, hearing her back pop with several satisfying cracks before making her way up to her dresser to check her phone. She had the usual several too many text messages from friends but the unknown number caught her eye. She raised an eyebrow as she read the message. It was a simple “hey” to which she replied with a “Who is this” she grabbed her phone as she made her way into the kitchen, reading over the rest of her messages and replying to a few every now and then, being sure not to open the ones she didn’t want to reply to.
The moment she entered the kitchen, her phone vibrated in her hand. The unknown number. Her stomach dropped at the next words, “it’s Camila” she thought she may have misread as she blinked a few times. Seconds later, the bubble with three dots appeared indicating her former bandmate was typing.
C: dinah gave me this number
L: What the hell do you want Camila
Her blood boiled and heart pounded as Camila began typing. Didn’t she get the memo the last time they ran into each other? She wants nothing to do with her! She tapped her fingernails impatiently on the kitchen counter as she waited for the next message. Her anxiety was going through the roof. What was she writing? A college essay?
C: i dont want to fight with you lauren. I just want to explain. ive explained to everyone but you. please just give me the chance to tell you things my way and if it still isn’t enough, i’ll leave you alone forever. i promise.
Lauren reread the message over and over, her eyes burning from never blinking. This couldn’t be real. A small chuckle of annoyance fell from her lips as she began typing out her simple reply.
L: You can shove your explanation up your ass.
Her heart twitched as she hit send. She ignored the guilt from her sudden outburst of harshness and forced herself to prepare for anything Camila threw at her when the three dots in a bubble popped back up. What she read next shocked her. She expected old Camila. She expected Camila to be a bitch back at her. But she wasn’t.
C: okay. but if you happen to change your mind, i’ll be doing a little fundraiser for women’s right and lgbt rights in Miami Beach from 10am-6pm. ive invited the girls. mani, dinah and ally will be there. i heard you were with lucy, feel free to invite her as well. im really sorry for everything lo and i hope you can forgive me someday. have a good rest of the day.
Camila|
She willed the tears to go away as she hit send and threw her phone across the table. She never knew why even the thought of Lauren brought so much emotion into her. She could feel her ex bandmate’s eyes on her. It was silent for awhile before Dinah reached across from her to pick up the disregarded phone. Camila sat in silence as she read over the short conversation.
“She’ll come,” she finally said.
Camila looked up, a long sigh escaping her lips as she struggled to compose herself. “I doubt it,” she mumbled quietly.
Dinah shook her head, “She’ll come. Deep down, under all that hate and hurt, she still cares Mila. I promise,” the blonde haired girl sent her best friend a small smile.
Camila nodded, her face contorting into weird different expressions as she tried not to cry. She’s been doing that a lot lately and she wasn’t up for ruining her makeup the fourth time that week.
“So how are things with Lola?” Dinah asked.
Camila laughed, shaking her head. She didn’t even know what to say as she rolled her eyes over and over. She probably looked possessed. “I don’t even know why I’m dating her anymore Dinah,” she said truthfully.
“Just dump her,”
“I can’t,”
“Why not?”
“I don’t like hurting people,”
“You had a fine job doing that when you left the group,” silence fell upon them. Camila looked down at her lap, Dinah shaking her head. The blonde sighed softly, “I didn’t mean that Mi-”
“Its fine,” Camila said as she cut her off. “Lets just, lets just get ready for the fundraiser.”
***
Disappointment. That’s what Camila felt as she watched the last man pack up their belongings for the fundraiser. It was going on 8pm, it had gone a little over time with how many people had showed up, Camila was truly amazed. She loved every minute of it, meeting fans all while helping spread awareness on both women rights and LGBT rights but she couldn’t help the overall sadness as it came to an end. Lauren didn’t show up. She even had two guards waiting up front in case she did show up to escort her over. Nothing happened.
It was really hard for her to be happy in such an amazing environment when the one person she was hoping with everything in her to show up, didn’t show up.
Lauren|
“Babe you should go,” Lucy encouraged as she sat up slightly from the couch.
Lauren shook her head, walking over to her girlfriend a bowl of warm soup. “You’re not feeling well. I don’t have to go to the stupid fundraiser,” she mumbled.
Lucy gave Lauren a look as she accepted the soup, “First of all, you love fundraisers that tie down to those specific matters and you know it. Just last week you were saying how you wished it happened more often. Plus Fifth Harmony will basically be reuniting for the first time as a group in a while.”
Rolling her eyes, Lauren plopped down next to Lucy. Playing with the ring on her thumb she sighed loudly, “Why do you even care so much? You do know Camila invited me, right? You don’t really like her,” pausing she glanced at her girlfriend. “Besides, who’ll take care of you while I’m gone? The stupid thing is over anyways. She said it ended at 6 PM. Its like 7:45 now.”
“I don’t not like her. I just wasn’t fond of what she had done to the group,” Lucy shrugged. “And so? Weren’t you the one social media stalking her and saw she was spamming on Snapchat with videos just from like five minutes ago?” Lucy raised a knowing eyebrow at her girlfriend. “I can invite Kandee over if it’ll make you feel better about who’ll take care of me.” Kandee was Lucy’s longtime friend Lauren had recently learned about.
She sighed to herself as she thought over it, “What if it goes bad?” She mumbled quietly.
“She’s just asking you to hear her out, right? If you don’t like what she has to say, just leave,” Lucy reached over to rub her finger tips up and down her girlfriends arm, “It’ll all go good baby. I promise.”
***
This was a mistake. Lauren could feel it as she approached the empty area. I bet she’s gone. God I’m such an idiot. It was around 8 PM and the place was pretty much a ghost land. She saw a few people left but that was it. Her heart pounded in her chest as she stopped in front of the location Camila had texted her.
There stood a man who had his back turned toward her with “SECURITY” writing in big white letters on his black T-Shirt.
Clearing her throats softly, she proceeded to tap him on the shoulder. The man sighed before turning around. “Ma'am this even is over please-” the man paused himself before eyes widening. “I am so sorry Miss. Follow me this way,” Lauren felt confusion settle within her as she followed the man through the black curtains. Something in her told her not to, it could be a trap but she ignored it. She was always unnecessarily paranoid. “Miss Cabello!” The man shouted.
The ashy brown haired woman turned around, along with three other obviously familiar faces. A sense of nervousness washed over Lauren as the room went silent for a few seconds before an overly excited Ally ran straight toward her former bandmate along with Dinah and Normani. She felt overwhelmed with happiness as the three women bombarded her with questions and hugs. A couple years escaped her eyes. It felt so good to be in their presence again. But everything went just as fast as it came.
Suddenly they all realized the reasoning behind them all being there and a silent Camila. Pulling apart from each other, Normani spoke first. “We’ll give you guys some space.”
By then, the security guard had already left and the three ladies had found their way out. Lauren’s heart pounded as she took in Camila’s overall presence. The whole situation felt even more overwhelming as her former bandmate directed her toward a set of chairs to sit down. It was silent between them for quite some time, neither really knowing how to start off.
“I didn’t think you’d show,” Camila breathed out, deciding to speak first.
Lauren pursed her lips, looking down for a second then back up with a small head nod. “I wasn’t,” she answered honestly. “Lucy made me.”
She didn’t miss the small twinge of hurt in Camila’s features but tried her best to brush it all off. “You look nice,” Camila then said.
Lauren sighed, rolling her eyes. “Thank you but I didn’t exactly come to be complimented. I’m here for my explain so I can be on my way back to my perfectly unproblematic life,” she didn’t mean to come off so harsh. It kind of just happened and she did regret it when Camila paused and every feature in her face twisted into one of pain before looking down and clearing her throat.
“Okay,” she croaked. “Where do you want me to start?”
“The beginning. Why you left, why you feel I should pity you in anyway, etc.”
Camila clenched her jaw, “I don’t need your pity Lauren, that’s one,” sighing, she looked down as she attempted to collect her currently scattered thoughts.
“I left because I couldn’t do it anymore,” she started. “It was a decision I had already planned for months before the day I left. I left mainly because of you though,” she kept her eyes down as she felt herself relive those few earlier months. “You weren’t happy with me in the group. I could feel it, the fans could feel it, everyone could. It was like days that I wasn’t there, you shined the most. You seemed the happiest and most carefree. Obviously me being there was taking that away. My intentions weren’t to break the group as a whole, no. I was hoping if things played out well, you guys would continue as a foursome. I didn’t mean to fuck up everyone’s lives, I swear Lauren.”
“I couldn’t do it anymore. Not even just with you, I was taking away everyone else’s happiness. Normani wouldn’t, hell couldn’t even look at me off camera. Ally was always torn on who to side with, at one point she even hated me. I was breaking Dinah’s relationship with everyone in the group because I’d always make her feel obligated to be on my side. I was fucking it all up. I wasn’t happy anymore in it… you guys weren’t happy anymore with me in it. My solo music started to take off, everything was screaming at me to get out. So I did.”
“I didn’t mean for everything to go downhill so fast. I didn’t want you guys to find out the way you found out. But life has a fucked up way of playing out for you-”
“That doesn’t answer shit Camila. So basically you’re new skit is, you left the group for our happiness? My god you are full of so much shit,” Lauren laughed humorlessly as she stood up. “You left because you’re a selfish self absorbed idiotic fucking cunt who cared more about fame than the actual fucking gr-”
“I left because I was in love with you! Okay, I fucking left because I was in love with you Lauren!”
Everything went silent, Lauren stopped, Camila stopped, the girls who were eavesdropping behind the curtain even stopped. The atmosphere suddenly felt thick and heart to breathe in. Lauren sat back down and stared at Camila in disbelief.
Camila gulped harshly as the tears started to come, “I couldn’t take it anymore Lauren. I couldn’t. I couldn’t take knowing every fucking day you hated me, our friendship would never ever be the same. I could handle you not feeling the same, I could handle keeping it a secret forever. But I couldn’t handle knowing you hated me so fucking much. I couldn’t handle it. When you came out, and I was a complete bitch to you about it, it was like everything got worse. Your hate for me grew, everything was just a mess. Imagine… being head over heels in love with someone who hates you more than life itself but you have to work with them every fucking day. Imagine it.”
“I wasn’t fucking happy. I was sad, everyday, every night. My life was just sadness. And I hated that, because I loved what we did so fucking much. I loved making music with my best friends. I loved the fans. I loved everyone and everything. So basically feeling trapped and miserable was the worst thing ever for me. I’m sorry Lauren, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for not being there when you needed me as a friend, I’m sorry for putting a stupid solo career before our friendship, I’m sorry for putting anyone and everyone before you. My intentions were never to hurt you. You’ve always been one of my closest friends and to watch you grow such an intense amount of hate for me killed me. I wanted out, I needed out.”
She finished with a face full of tears and a shocked and frozen Lauren just staring back at her. Neither women knew what to say as the tension got thicker and thicker.
All Camila could think about was how she possibly fucked things up the most in this moment and there was no ever going back.
***
a/n: wow i actually cried writing this last part. damn. lol, im so sorry i did not edit. im really tired and im about to go out with friends for my birthday but i hope you enjoyed this over due chapter. i love you lots and thanks so much for reading.
to my tumblr readers, make sure to check out my wattpad @wthbello for faster updates and overall better reading format lmao. thanks so much for reading as well.
have an amazing night/day/afternoon, etc. wherever you are. make sure to always be kind to yourselves and always love yourselves because if you don’t, i can assure you no one else will. no one can love you better than you can love you. with that being said, i hope you enjoyed this chapter lmao.
ellianna (elli),
xxxxxxxxxxxx
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