#fuck my life should i go

[flameshardsgoo]

fuck mylife cindy lee is doing her farewell tour and ofc the closest shes playing to me is MILWAUKEE (MILYUCKY) but shes playing a fucking FESTIVAL IN CHICAGO (ive never been to a festival they sound a little horrifying). But this festival is like kind of stacked (Carly rae jepsen Brittany howard 100 gecs Jessie ware De la soul UNWOUND!! BILLY WOODS!! Mannequin pussy AND ML BUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

#⧉ #fuck my life should i go

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[lotus-pear]

top 10 moments before disaster (dazai is about to step on his toes)

#day 9547860367 of drawing them in the hopes that the next chapter will be ada reunion. we will see. #ALSO HELP slamming my head into a brick wall i'm gonna get cancelled for glasses erasure one day istg. i'm sorry kuni #watch me once again exaggerate a barely visible height difference in canon bc idgaf dazai should get to be short for once in his life #anyway i hope skk eats shit i want knkdz back i miss them so fucking much #i pray and beg and sob every night kneeling at my bedside for dazai to go home and see his husband and son again #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #kunikidazai #knkdz #kunizai #lotus draws #uughhhhh posting at ungodly hours AGAIN this is gonna catch up to me one day istg

[frogs-in3-hills]

hi does anyone else think about april throwing herself over leo to shield him in the shredder strikes back despite having no weapons no way to defend herself and probably assuming she was going to die. does anyone think about that all the time. every day. uncontrollably

[ID: Digital fanart of Ninja Turtles 2003 depicting a scene from The Shredder Strikes Back part 2. April kneels over an injured Leo, cradling his head and looking back over her shoulder to snarl viciously at the camera, though there is obvious fear in her eyes. Her hair has partially fallen out of her bun, the loose strands sticking to her face with sweat. She has a cut on her cheek. Only a portion of Leo’s face can be seen from behind her shoulder. He looks up at her with a sad, pained expression. He has a swollen, bloody shiner on his cheek in addition to other cuts and bruises on the rest of his body. They are on the wooden floor of a dark attic. End ID.]

#she’s so protective of her fambly man….. i think she should have gotten to call that wasp a bitch in ‘‘april’s artifact’’ #anyway. #you ever think about how in almost every version befriending the turtles leads to april having these huge moments of loss #losing her shop her job her home her father her LIFE and yet she accepts it all bc she jsut decided to fucking love them more than anything #take my hand. do you think about it…… #tmnt #tmnt 03 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt 2003 #april o'neil #leonardo tmnt #silly sully art #described #cw blood #she rlly asked is anyone going to adopt these weird turtle children and then didn’t wait for an answer

[lazylittledragon]

do any other artists feel like. yeah you're a 'good artist' because you draw things that look nice, but like. TECHNICALLY? you're really not great

i really hate that i can recognise that yes, my art is good, but is it VARIED? is it dynamic?? is my anatomy good? is it full of texture and colour theory? do i know how to do This? can i do That? no, not really. and that's quite painful actually

#ramble #yes this is the artist's perspective bs and yes this is anxiety because it's 1am #and yes i'm forever learning and growing but also #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. #drawing my little guys is fun but i am not good enough for the industry right now and that fucking sucks #i really feel like if i walked into a studio with my portfolio right now they would laugh at me #one of those days where i wish i'd done a more useful degree y'know #i'm going back through the phase where i don't know what i'm going to be anymore and it's scary #some days i really want to give it up and never draw again and do something worthwhile because i Know my life would be easier #and i hate that something i love so much makes me feel so hopeless #signs that i should go to bed ^^^^ #i will resume my pity party tomorrow

[ot3]

there are no amount of domestic policy gains you can cite that will make people change their mind about voting for biden. it's not like the people refusing to vote for him are too uninformed to understand that biden has provided significantly more domestic protections for LGBT people than trump will, but some people are simply willing to risk their own political standing to avoid legitimizing genocidal regime. i dont think anyone in the world is operating the impression that trump would provide less funding and arms to israel but i also don't think it's a stretch to say that there are huge swathes of center-lib shitfucks who will suddenly change their mind about carpet bombing civilians when it's The Friggen Cheeto Man doing it instead of their favorite blue ghoul.

#post going around my dash from various people that's bothering the shit out of me #its such a fuck you got mine approach to politics #to be clear i am not saying a trump presidency will be better for literally anyone. #but the fact that the administration truly doesn't believe biden's policy on gaza will effect his reelection campaign should prove to you #that this regime does not value human life either no matter how much you'd like that to be the case

[the-meme-monarch]

they weren’t kidding that frisk someone can sure strange

anyway so the “see you in the next hell, losers” is inspired by this video ! it made me Think. undertale was their first hell(possessed by the SOUL), deltarune is their current hell(wants the SOUL back)

and the “try as you might, you continue to be yourself” is from when you get a second red flag in Ball Game in undertale ! thought it’d be ironic since. theyre kinda not acting like themself since they don’t have the SOUL anymore. not that they even really know who they were without it

also knight chara is here

#the art gallery #deltarune #strange someone frisk #knight chara #has it been long enough that I should reexplain ssfrisk. it’s my theory substantiated by absolutely nothing #undertale ​frisk is the ‘strange someone’(as described by seam) who fucked up jevil (and spamton) #bc they were the playable character in ut and they’re know aware how their life was a video game. they got locked out of undertales univers #bc of the ‘I have places to be’ ending. they got introduced into the deltarune universe bc the game isn’t complete #they want to go home + the SOUL back bc they literally dont remember their life before falling into mt ebott #and well without the SOUL now their life is kind of A Mess. I mean look they don’t have it anymore and now they’re a villain /jokey

[dianagj-art]

BETRAYAL!

In my head this is how the two managged to land on 3rd place lmao (One is surprised but not dissapointed)

There's so many branches to this poll now that I didn't know where to add this on so this gets its own post, pls make yourself a favor and check all the reblogs of that poll, there's so much good art and very funny tags from everyone

Bonus with the bestie:

LM leo @daedelweiss

RR leo @red-rover-au

#the polls really have been the highlight of my week akjdhfglakg #the baby should be allowed to comit more crimes me thinks #i had to add Red bc his relationship with One is very funny to me #if they are together I cant see any scenario where one would fuck up and the other is not inmediately there to mock the other #they have no chill around each other #worsties <3 #separated leo au #rottmnt separated au #red rover au #life mission au #rottmnt life mission au #they are all my blorbos and live rent free on my head #I think now they all should go for pizza avengers-going-for-shawarma style #dg art #dg fanart #dg comics

[xoxoemynn]

I know it shouldn't surprise me, but it's frustrating af to step outside the fandom and read about OFMD's cancellation on more general entertainment sites and see the majority of reactions be along the lines of "oh well it was probably Taika being over it, he always gave me the ick anyway so, whatever," and then often devolving into comments about his personal life, or conspiracy theories that can be disproven if you use your brains for 30 seconds or maybe step outside and touch grass idk idk.

And this isn't me saying "omg how could you dislike Taika" bc truly unless you're being racist or antisemitic (which, let's be real, many are), I don't give a fuck what you think about him.

But the point remains that if you have a show that is all about celebrating queer joy and finding yourself later in life, that has a diverse cast of characters in terms of race, ethnicity, sexuality, and body type, that was WRITTEN by a diverse group of writers, that is receiving praise from critics and fans alike, that from all reports was one of Max's most successful shows despite them doing next to no promotion the first season, that had two successful seasons and the creator is on the record saying he had a plan to tell the entire story in three, and it gets CANCELED.

I don't give a fuck how you feel about Taika, or how you feel about OFMD. You SHOULD be concerned about that. Because your show is next.

And before you come at me with "it's just a show, have you seen what's happening in the world?" Yeah. I fucking have. And the arts matter. They have always mattered. It's how we've shared stories and fostered communities and passed down what's important to us as a society. And they've brought us joy. And I don't know about you, but I think we could all do with a fuckton more joy in our lives.

This is absolutely a huge loss, and unfortunately it's not going to be the last as streaming services continue to go deeper in crisis. If that doesn't concern you, idk, go enjoy yourself watching season 47 of The Bachelor.

#also truly if you're going to come on here and immediately start spouting the very nonsense I described above #kindly get fucked #and then do something productive with your life like calling your representatives or donating or going to a protest #you being a dick to people who are upset isn't going to do anything #your smug self-righteousness isn't going to save the world #the world sucks and people should be allowed to experience joy by watching a show where they feel represented #and anyway if you try it on this post or in my inbox I won't be engaging I'll just be blocking #so you're wasting both of our times #byeeeee!!! #ofmd

[uncanny-tranny]

I've found the same people who claim a trans person is making being trans their "whole personality" are the same people who quite literally cannot see past a person's transness - in fact, that's the only thing they will see.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #it's funny how that works /s #but like... not going to lie i've probably made being a smash bros. peach main more my personality more than i made being trans it lmao #like does being trans affect a TON of shit in my life? yes. do i talk about it? only here ngl not irl. is it my personality? not really. #being trans is like. my little clay sculpture i throw on a wheel and fuck around with and then i'll walk away for as long as i need to #so if you're worried about ~making trans your personality~ i promise you most likely are not #but even if it's the case that being trans is like your personality who tf should care enough to stop you y'know?

[yashley]

Say something true!

#critical role #ygifs #imogearne #imogen x fearne #when you’re taking a picture of the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen and the camera falls back and fucking decks you in the face #fearne going it’s ok you don’t need to confess I know~~ while imogen interrupts to say ‘’you’re a loser’’ they drive me NUTSkljsgdlkjs #also my brain is a little beehive cos these two Started with Fearne being the enabler to darker things while imogen was cautious #to fearne Seeing imogen about to be lost to ruidus and hardveering into panic that the power would never be worth losing her #to imogen hearing fearne hesitate and deny the shard and then telling fearne she should do it anyway #the way these two handle the other's Sways in darkness in such a Knowing way - ‘’Are you sure it wasn’t intentional?’’ #there’s like this ping and before it was encouraging and now fearne is scared and imogen is enabling the risk #and it’s like either imogen is silently ensuring laudna’s safety by fearne taking the shard despite any risk #or imogen honestly believes that fearne is stronger even than the power she would embrace. There is no risk. Fearne will conquer this. #so it’s like is it ulterior motives or is it faith or is it hypocrisy or is it all three at once it's so good #imogen spending her entire life running from her power so isn’t it so much easier to tell fearne she can just do it while imogen couldn’t #or is it just her genuinely encouraging fearne from Knowing the aftermath of pursuing the power #but it's like imogen ...... why would fearne choose you over the possibility for power when she's never done that before #and is this insistence/encouragement going to actually reassure fearne or is it going to be another crack #and when they do the ritual fearne asks imogen to be the one to take her out and imogen tries to comfort her by agreeing #and fearne looks on sadly and nods #remembering when she was asked to be the one to take imogen out and all fearne knew was that she couldn’t #anyway imogen's face when fearne said you're in love with me imogen said NOT NOWDSHKJF

[birchlogz]

#hosea matthews #arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #i could go into an unhinged rant abt this actuallt i will. fuck u #this started as like a jokey post but like #idk it lead down this whole rabbithole of arthur's emotional maturity #we know john clearly loved hosea but we only ever see arthurs side #and we see how much hoseas mentorship and wit and love influenced arthur #and although he had a similar influence on john and guided his moral compass i think john is much less mature about processing #and understanding his emotions... like he wouldnt have ran away if he had those skills. #and this idea of arthur figuring out that he thinks of dutch and hosea as parents. that its ok to have parental figures #that arent your biological ones and them being there in your life doesnt replace the connection he had with his mother #i just think john would struggle internally with that concept a lot #he wouldnt want to accept that. he is afraid of having a new family. #this boy needs therapy #anyways #my artz #someonewhos smarter than me should write a fic abt that noneed to credit me i just need to see that in the world #if it exists link it to me now i NEED to cry over it

[dollypopup]

'colin needs to grovel' 'colin should suffer' 'pen can't let him off easy'

please, his mother in law is about to be PORTIA, doesn't the man have enough curses in his life?

#colin bridgerton #polin #portia featherington #colin at the beginning realizing he's marrying into the Featheringtons: oh god i have truly met some insufferable people in my life #colin hours later full of spite and w/ approx. 0 patience for Portia's shit deciding he's gonna become The Problem: but also they've met me #Colin decides he's going to be the permanent thorn in her side and it's wonderful #don't get me wrong #but damn. . .pour one out for our boy #you KNOW he loves Pen because who the fuck else would deal with Portia of all people as a mother in law???? #'woe portia as your MIL upon thee' is like. . .THE ultimate curse #but Colin went 'it's rotten work but not if it's for Pen' #we should all be so lucky

[simcardiac-arrested]

@bitsbug thank you so much this is the best idea ever

#suns after trying to convince pebbles that life is beautiful and worth living and failing 50484047 times: I should go fuck myself #myart #rain world #five pebbles #seven red suns #i fucking miss suns so much it’s hurting me. my little failboy (gender neutral) #sorry for putting you on blast bits but your tags are simply wonderful

[brother-emperors]

ANTONY cry 'havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war

earlier in my script (which is not Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar), Antony refers to Dolabella as one of his ‘dogs of war’ when talking to Cassius (which IS a reference to Shakespeare’s JC), and it comes back around after Cicero writes to Cassius and informs him of Trebonius’ fate

While these things were taking place at Rome, Cassius and Brutus were collecting troops and money, and Trebonius, governor of the province of Asia, was fortifying his towns for them. [...] Trebonius, who was captured in bed, told his captors to lead the way to Dolabella, saying that he was willing to follow them. One of the centurions answered him facetiously, "Go where you please, but you must leave your head behind here, for we are ordered to bring your head, not yourself." With these words the centurion immediately cut off his head, and early in the morning Dolabella ordered it to be displayed on the praetor's chair where Trebonius was accustomed to transact public business. Since Trebonius had participated in the murder of Caesar by detaining Antony in conversation at the door of the Senate-house while the others killed him, the soldiers and camp-followers fell upon the rest of his body with fury and treated it with every kind of indignity. They rolled his head from one to another in sport along the city pavements like a ball till it was completely crushed. This was the first of the murderers who received the meed of his crime, and thus vengeance overtook him.

App. Civil Wars III. 26

For Dolabella is in Syria, and, as you have foreseen in your prophetic soul and have foretold, Cassius will crush him while they are on their way. For Dolabella has had the gates of Antioch shut in his face and got a good beating in trying to storm it. Not trusting in any other city, he has betaken himself to Laodicea, on the sea-coast of Syria. There I hope he will speedily pay the penalty of his crime: for he has no place of refuge, nor will he much longer be able there to stand out against an army as large as that of Cassius. I even hope that Dolabella has by this time been overpowered and crushed.

Cic. Fam. 12.14

Place then before your eyes, O conscript fathers, that spectacle, miserable indeed, and tearful, but still indispensable to rouse your minds properly: the nocturnal attack upon the most beautiful city in Asia; the irruption of armed men into Trebonius’s house, when that unhappy man saw the swords of the robbers before he heard what was the matter; the entrance of Dolabella, raging,—his ill-omened voice, and infamous countenance,—the chains, the scourges, the rack, the armourer who was both torturer and executioner; all which they say that the unhappy Trebonius endured with great fortitude. A great praise, and in my opinion indeed the greatest of all, for it is the part of a wise man to resolve beforehand that whatever can happen to a brave man is to be endured with patience if it should happen.

Cicero, Philippic 11

Philippi and Perusia, Ronald Syme

ko-fi⭐ bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost ⭐ cara.app

#the actual line cassius has here is 'tell mark antony im going to kill his fucking dog' but it doesn't work without the context #of antony earlier calling dolabella one of his dogs. so. i have edited it slightly to provide that context #this is also the one thing that cassius doesn't forgive brutus for because it's brutus who wanted antony left alive #and the dots are simply that if antony was dead then trebonius would not be #brutus can get away with everything else in the name of love. but not that one #(i'll do anything for love but i wont do that etc) #you might say. hey. it doesn't seem like you like brutcass very much. incorrect! i love it a lot! i just want to make them worse #also one of the most romantic scenes ive ever watched in my life in a show was a breakup scene and ive been chasing that high #ever since. but mostly i think theres a tragedy to brutus’ decision making and there should be narrative consequences #roman republic tag #komiks tag #drawing tag #gaius cassius longinus #marcus junius brutus #gore cw #In appian’s text. it’s pretty gnarly tbh

[bruciemilf]

I can’t explain how fucking inconvenient a lack of local transport is

#here’s the thing. I’m a 21 year old. I don’t drive. I don’t want to drive. not because I have the expectation that #ppl should drive me everywhere. but because I’m unbiasedly aware I’d be a danger to myself and others if I ever got behind a wheel #ok? ok. that means I’m greatly limited to what a person my age — a person settled into an urban environment- is #there’s no bus in my area. no taxi service. there’s exactly 10 people in my village who have a license. I can’t go grocery shopping. #I can’t run errands. I can’t get issues solved. delivery places won’t deliver in my area because the distance is too big #just. GOD. It’s so fucking frustratating watching politicians— my policitians especially— throw their money on stupid shit #when the community structure is barely holding on to life. so fucking enraged #rant #text