#god this man has such a huge emotional iq

[celaenaeiln]

The bimbofication of Dick Grayson is sad but I also feel like a lot of it has to do with his place in the batfamily and fitting a certain role which is different from his role as part of the Titans fam. Like there is a reason he gets killed off in a lot of Batfam stories and or he takes up the role as Batman despite wanting to make a name for himself as Nightwing. I’m not a huge Dick Grayson fan but that’s because my introduction to him was through the Batfamily and he was always portrayed rather silly or kind of the butt of the joke to Barbara Gordon’s know-it-all-ness (I love her but that’s how it feels) , but then I would read his interactions with the Titans and I actually became more invested in his character even if the writing is a bit outdated.

This goes for his relationships too, he used to be portrayed as a one woman man but then Dixon got a hold of him and suddenly the tiring trope of guy is a bit of a playboy except for that one girl who is the love of his life took hold and it hasn’t left since. I miss the Dick who meet this out of this world (literally) woman and who grew to love each other and watching him grow into a man who learned to love in a passionate way and who learned that people were different from him.

Even a lot of his newer relationships have a lot of depth (like with Bea Bennet or Shawn) but then they get axed. Taylor isn’t really writing anything that hasn’t been written before, like Rebirth Dick wasn’t that great and Rebirth DickBabs was childish and Dixon had some takes on Dick but Taylor has really has highlighted a lot of that bad writing and It’s crazy that it’s becoming the most popular iteration of Dick Grayson and even Barbara Gordon.

og post in reference

Absolutely!

There was the comic thing DC released during an event with all the heroes talking to the reader like they were in the Office, and Dick's was, "I'm the nice, funny one."

Now that's funny because Roy literally refers to him as uptight. The statement is true but it's a lie by omission. It doesn't take into account his craziness, his leadership, his dedication, his intelligence, his prowess, his good-standing - nothing! "Nice, funny one." I think Ra's would've run a sword through the writer's heart at that, given that he was easily defeated by the "nice, funny one."

Aside from that I can't really speak to the dumbification of Dick in Batfamily comics because I think most of them have done a good job but I used to see it a lot in fandom. It's much less now but five years ago, there was so much fandom content about incompetent himbo Grayson and some writers genuinely meant it too. Which I don't understand because nowhere in the Nightwing comics is Dick ever written as being dumb. The Batman comics (1940) and (2016) also do a fantastic job of writing him. His fighting ability, his emotional intelligence, his IQ, all of it is there and off the charts!

I guess the main thing with Dick's role in the batfamily is he's seen as an authority figure. He's Batman's second in command and seen that way by both Bruce and the rest of the family. So if some major disaster were to occur, he would need to be killed off because he's both of exceedingly high emotional value to Bruce or because he's going to be the next person in charge and god forbid that happens because the apocalypse would end then.

I mean, the villains made the mistake of leaving him alive in Convergence and he literally reset the universe back to how it's supposed to be.

So there's no way they can leave him alive because of that. Also his death fuels Batman to end whatever crisis the world is facing so that's an important plot event.

But the Barbara Gordon arm candy.

I am certain. That the idea of Dick being stupid comes from him being with Barbara Gordon. No where in the Nightwing comics, Batman comics (both!), Red Robin comics, Robin comics, Titans comics, Justice League comics, and other DC comics is Dick ever written to be stupid EXCEPT when he's written with Barbara.

Take this nightwing panel for instance

Nightwing (2011) Issue #27

or this

Nightwing (1996) Issue #42

and then take this

Convergence: Nightwing/Oracle Issue #1

AKA: I'm smart. You're dumb. Now shut up and leave because you're too stupid to understand.

The arrogance. This is the same shit Bruce would pull except when Dick asks, Bruce actually tells him.

Justice Leagues: Justice League of Atlantis

Barbara in the Nightwing comics isn't the best but at least it tracks with her own personality in her own comics and the Batman and Bird of Prey ones. The best Barbara Gordon depictions I've seen are through Cass and Stephanie's Batgirl comics funnily, but the Barbara Gordon Batgirl comics have the worst treatment I've seen of Dick in all of DC.

This is where I think the idea Dick is dumb orginates because it's definitely not coming from Tim or the Titans or Batman. It also makes sense if that's the case since Dickbabs is such a huge thing in this fandom.

I miss when Dick would just be with Kori through everything. They were so in love! I genuinely believe they could have worked out their problems or at least gotten back together but DC will never let that happen for logical reasons. If Dick marries Kori, he's going to end up spending all his time with the Titans which would be bad for the rest of the family because they need him when they have problems or just to hang out. It's a lot more convenient for them to have Tim hang out with Dick and Barbara if they were dating than him hanging out with Dick and Kori. Which is the biggest reason why Batfamily writers want to keep the romance within the family.

I will never accept the cheating thing because it was so out of character but I've kinda gotten used to him finding new relationships because I grown to fall in love with those characters. As long as he has meaningful relationships like with Bea and Shawn where it develops and grows, I end up loving it. My only requirements for his relationship is letting Dick be himself and letting him be happy. I was furious that whoever writer ended Bea's relationship and for what? "I'm sorry, I can't love you anymore, I got memories back." What kinda a reason is that?! It's not even remotely believable! I have so much to say but it's going to turn into a rant about how dumb the reasoning is.

Tom Taylor took all of Dick's fake worst traits and amplified them by a billion. Actually you know what? I get what's he's trying to do. He picked one trait of Dick's - caring - and trashed his entire life story at the expense of his intelligence, athleticism, humor (c'mon Dick was genuinely funny before this run, his humor did not suck), and wit to support this one little thing.

He wouldn't understand subtlety if it hit him in the face.

#dick grayson #nightwing #barbara gordon #oracle #bruce wayne #batman #tom taylor #thanks for the ask! #cl anon asks

[acrosstobear]

Callum Ilott talks racing accidents, tragedy and mental health

Callum Ilott pauses, takes a deep breath and prepares to answer.

It seems a pretty straightforward question to deliver a response to: are racing drivers affected after a crash or seeing a team-mate or rival have an accident? But it’s a deeply personal topic for the 22-year-old.

The Formula 1 rising star saw the aftermath of a tragic collision at Spa during his F2 days which claimed the life of his close friend Anthoine Hubert and seriously injured team-mate Juan Manuel Correa.

Ilott’s retort after taking some time to consider his thoughts shows the long-lasting effects of the heartbreaking incident. But it also begins to help reveal the psychology of racing drivers and how they deal with the inevitable dangers that come with driving at speeds of 200mph or more.

Callum Ilott opens up about the death of Anthoine Hubert

“To satisfy my own mental state I spent that whole evening and the next day analysing what happened,” the Ferrari Academy Driver said of the 2019 crash.

“In my mind I almost completely understood why it happened and it felt easier to accept it. I go through it and piece it together. I’d lost a good friend and my team-mate was fighting for his life. It was an ongoing process to deal with it.

“You can’t change what happened but he’d (Anthoine) changed me – not because of the accident – but because of how he was, how he influenced people and I took quite a few lessons from him. I took it upon myself to make changes, inspired by him.

“Everyone says ‘you’re doing it (racing) for him’, but I’d rather take the lessons that he gave me as it’s a greater impact than doing it for him. It can happen to anyone and you have to take every chance and moment you get in life, that was one of the lessons I took. It helped change my values and understanding of some things.”

Karting isn’t the safest but neither is rugby, says F1 talent

Like almost all professional drivers, the Cambridge-born talent started out in karting where he “enjoyed the speed” rather than feared it. His biggest concern was making mistakes.

Even though he saw people roll their karts and break their collarbones, his safety was more of a concern to his mum than himself as he continued to calculate and process the risk – a method that remains to this day.

Ilott said: “A lot of possibilities have to come together and at least nine times out of 10 you can get away with a crash and maybe one time you don’t.

“Karting wasn’t the safest thing but then you could say neither was rugby at school, all it takes is someone to do a high tackle or you fall funny and you could be in hospital or a wheelchair for the rest of your life. Anything can happen but I don’t look at things in a negative way.

“When it’s someone close to you that has an accident there’s obviously emotion attached to it. But it’s all facts and statistics for me. At the end of the day you’re in this sport and you’re in this position. If the stats were a bit higher then I think I would be concerned but at the moment you just hope it doesn’t happen to you. A lot of improvements continue to be made in terms of safety too.”

Alfa Romeo reserve relives dramatic Formula 1 test crash

So what happens when it’s you who is involved in an accident? When you have a massive smash that leaves you seriously injured or feeling incredibly lucky to be alive?

Ilott, a reserve for Alfa Romeo, had his biggest crash while testing for the team two years ago. He’d just set his best lap of the day at Barcelona on his F1 test debut when the rear snapped in a fast right-hander and sent him careering into the barriers at around 130mph.

“You have to crack back on,” admitted the 2020 F2 runner-up.

“Whilst you’ve got time you can feel sorry for yourself and punish yourself. It can be a greater lesson than moving on. For one week I don’t think anyone could really talk to me. Physically I was almost completely fine, I had a bit of pain in my back, but it was all mental. To me it was more related to my career.

“It was a big moment to have and then to have that end result, in crashing, so I was more worried about my career. In one or two weeks I was back in Formula 2, it was a distraction to get going again. You can get out of the spiral and get on with what you’re doing. You learn your lesson and take the best side of it.”

Being a passenger unsettles the Ferrari Academy starlet

The Adrian Flux-sponsored driver says it takes him within three corners to know the limit, within 5%, of the vehicle he is operating.

And he is sure that’s what sets professionals aside from anyone who steps behind the wheel of a car.

“Depending on the car and conditions, I will drive to how I feel safe,” concluded Ilott, set to make his IndyCar debut in America next weekend.

“On an Autobahn in Germany in the wet, I won’t go above 150kmh (93mph), at risk of aquaplaning. In dry, I can push to 300kmh (186mph) easily and as long as there’s no traffic I won’t worry. I’m aware of limits. I’m very happy to take a car to 300 and wouldn’t bat an eye, I’d quite enjoy it. If I was in the passenger seat, and someone took it to 300, I’d be very nervous.

“I’ve been on track days with friends and I’m helping them out a bit and straight away they go out and I’m like: ‘Woah, woah, woah, woah, you don’t realise how close you are to the limit already. You can’t push that much more and control the car’. A lot of people can drive but it’s always the last little bit and understanding what to do when it’s not perfect conditions.

“It’s very natural with us because we train. A marathon runner knows what pace they can run at all the time and what will last them until the end of the race. It’s the same as a cyclist – if they start to push over the limit they know when they’ll drop off at the end.

“I wouldn’t say we’re wired differently, racing drivers just know the limits of what we’re in and what we can do a lot more than other people. We’re very aware of the limits of each car we get in. It’s all calculated and you can feel and understand where that is and it automatically enters your brain. My body will say ‘that’s your limit’ and you just know depending on the conditions.”

What is professional racing driver Callum Ilott afraid of?

So does anything scare a man who flies around a track knowing one slight mistake could see him hurtling towards a tyre wall, giant slab of concrete or a huge metal barrier at high speed?

“I don’t like the unknown,” added Ilott who is dreaming of an F1 seat in 2022.

“When I was younger, I don’t mind it so much now, but when you’re snorkelling and you get to the edge of the reef and there’s the drop off – you’re staring down and you think ‘what the hell is down there, how far does it go?’

“It’s not the dark, but what’s inside it? Your mind becomes the enemy. Whatever you think is down there, is down there. That’s something I’ve gradually got used to because I’ve learned why. I don’t like spiders either, but I’m not scared of them.”

#callum ilott #f1 #formula 1 #well if you think im not crying #you're very wrong #baby baby baby #god this man has such a huge emotional iq #MATURE ANGEL BOY #I LOVE YOU SO MCUH

[leahblackk]

I have not sent in a request jn like 6 years but okay -

something maybe a lil big angsty but like spencer is being over the top sarcastic with reader. maybe they’re in an argument over his job or something some argument and Spencer is just being very rude and sarcastic to the point where reader can’t tell if it’s a joke or not, and in the midst of their argument spencer is called away on a case, and comes home to see reader has left. (if u wanna fluff it up at the end he can apologize profusely and they can cuddle it out but up to you leah bc your mind is genius)

Hurtful words

(Not my gif)

Summary: a little blurb by my local amazing ideas giver, Alex. Let’s all say thank you Alex for this idea.

Couple: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Warnings: Spencer being a little shit. And mentions of being injured because of gunshot. And many mistakes I’m sorry :)

Oh my god yes! I feel like I haven’t done a blurb in years. Your blurb ideas are the ones that keep me going. And you are the genius!! Your ideas are extremely amazing and I’m happy I can make them true <3

Spencer Reid.

What a mystery that man was.

Y/n met Spencer as a sweet young man with glasses and cute jumpers. A man who didn't catch certain social things. He didn’t understood sarcasm in certain occasions or indirect messages or double intentions. Of course, he knew what it was, but he didn’t know how to act with it or how to use it.

Until he learned how to be passive-aggressive.

The first time Y/n ever saw Spencer being passive-aggressive with someone was with JJ when the Lauren/Emily thing happened. Spencer, of course, was very mad about it. JJ was his best friend, the person he most trusted besides his girlfriend. He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t know. It wasn’t like he was going to tell anyone! He had the right to know that his friend whom he loved so much wasn’t buried five feet underground! He cried on his girlfriend floor for hours, and when he was too embarrassed by her looking at him, he went to JJ’s house. She saw him, she saw him crying his eyes out for her and she didn’t say a damn thing! Of course he was going to be mad.

Y/n never thought she had to worry about him being like that with her.

Spencer always has been a sweet man. But he isn’t when he’s under stress, mad or sad. The pressure over him made his IQ of 187 slashed to 63. He couldn’t think straight. And Spencer never worried about him being like that with his girlfriend. He didn’t had any reasons to be. She was all nice to him and cared about him.

But now, things changed while they were fighting in their shared apartment.

Y/n has been injured on a case after being reckless, or that was the way his boyfriend thought, but to be honest she saved a life, even if that got her hurt. She didn’t care. She would do it again. And that petrified Spencer.

Even if her doctor told her she could go back to the field. Spencer wasn’t going to have any of it. That was why they were fighting. Neither of them liked to deal with strong emotions. He wanted to say he didn’t want her to be there because he was scared he was going to lose her. He couldn’t lose her. She was his everything. His glue putting him together when the world tried to bring him down and shatter his heart. She was the thing that keeps him going. But instead of saying that, he was treating her badly and Y/n on her side wasn’t going to have any of it.

“Why can’t you understand, Spencer? I’m not a child. I can perfectly take care of myself.” She said putting her clothes on her go-bag while Spencer took them out.

He chuckled, “Perfectly take care of yourself? Yeah of course I believe you. When did you take care of yourself? When you put yourself in front of the unsub and he shot you? Yeah, Y/n, that’s taking care of yourself.”

She frowned.

That hurt.

“Excuse Spencer but you’re not no one to tell me what to do.”

“I’m your boyfriend!” He said, hurt.

“And? That doesn’t give you any right to tell me what to do. I’m a grown-up, Reid. If you didn’t notice. I’m not a child you can take care of.”

“Sometimes I think you are, you know?” He then looked at her, “You act worse than a child sometimes. Being so reckless and putting yourself in danger.”

“Like you haven’t done that yourself either.”

“I have! But I knew what I was doing. You weren’t thinking!”

“When is gonna be the day you understand you can’t tell me what to do?”

“When you stop being so reckless and actually take care of yourself,” He crossed his arms over his chest, “But apparently that’s not happening.”

She sighed with anger and looked at him. Throwing a shirt over his face and going downstairs to the kitchen to drink water and calm herself. Spencer followed her and entered the kitchen taking a glass of water as well.

She didn’t even look at him. He wanted her looking at him. He wanted to feel those eyes on him even if they were full of anger.

So he made it in the wrong way.

“And you said you’re not a child,” he murmured referring to her throwing the shirt on his face.

“What was that?” She turned around and look at him.

“You perfectly heard it, Y/n.”

“I can’t believe you’re the one calling me a child. Look at you,” she moved her hands up and down in front of him to make a point, “I’m going to that case you like it or not.”

“I wouldn’t risk the team to be with you on the case. They might end it up injured with your recklessness.”

Silence.

The words Spencer throw made echo in both lovers ears.

Reid bit his bottom lip regretting the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. Trying to take them back but the damage was already done.

Y/n looked at him without any emotion. Until her eyes start to burn and the tears came out. She lifted her hand with anger and wiped them off feeling her cheeks getting warmer and warmer.

Spencer looked at her and his heart ached. Why did he said that? She was a great agent. He was just scared of losing her and if by telling her that stuff, she would stay home safe, he would do it. But he regretted it now. He regretted it so much.

She chuckled without any humour and licked her bottom lip, tears coming down her face again.

But she let them now. Too tired.

Spencer’s first instinct was to step forward to her, but she stayed back putting her hands in front of him, to stop him.

She didn’t want to be touched by him.

He looked down.

He spends his life touching her. Loving her and worshipping her body. Touching her soft skin with soft moves, carefully not wanting to break her as she was a porcelain doll. But now, she didn’t want to be touched by him.

And Spencer understood.

He did.

It was all his fault at the end of the day. He made her stayed back when he wanted to pull her in. It was his fault. “I don’t want you to touch me,” she murmured and passed him taking her arms close to her so they wouldn’t brush his skin.

Spencer’s tears came down now.

I don’t want you to touch me.

She didn’t want him to touch her.

But all he wanted to do was touch her and let her know he didn’t mean those words. How could he? She was perfect in everything she did, her job included. Mostly her job.

Spencer didn’t notice how much time had passed while he stood frozen in the middle of their kitchen until he felt his phone buzzed. He took it out of his pocket. It was Morgan.

Hey Spencer. I know you love your girlfriend so much but we have to hurry! People are dying you know? Not everything is vanilla and roses like you two.

Spencer chuckled. Only if he knew.

He went upstairs with careful moves while he pressed his palms together trying to stop the trembling. He mostly did.

All her clothes were now in the closet, her go-bag as well. She wasn’t going to the case. It wasn’t a surprise. He knew he would achieve what he wanted after saying that. But now it didn’t felt right.

He moved closer to where she was. On their shared bed. He sat down. He was about to open his mouth to say something but she did it first. “Please don’t say anything. You have said enough and I think your thoughts are very clear,” her voice sounds broken. And was all his fault, “Just go. Tell the team I haven’t made full recovery yet.”

He nodded even if she couldn’t see him because she was hiding under the blankets.

What Spencer didn’t notice was the way after saying those words, her hands end it up on her mouth trying the sobs not to come out. She knew if Spencer heard those he would stay with her, even if they just argued. It was Spencer at the end of the day.

He would do anything for her.

Spencer full of guilty took his go-bag and walked directly to the door, looking at her once more.

He wanted to ask.

He needed to know.

You’re gonna be here when I come back?

You’re gonna still be here when I come back?

But the words never left his mouth. They got stuck on his throat. The pain and the tears as well. He needs to say he still loved her. That no matter what he still loved her. He loves her.

He-

He loves her.

But he couldn’t. So he turned around, and left.

When the front door closed Y/n finally let the sobs out.

…

The young doctor tried to avoid all the questions on why he was so grumpy and distracted.

The answer to those questions was “I just had a huge fight with the love of my life and I’m worried she leaves while I’m here. Even if she have every right to I’m still scared because she’s the only thing that keeps me going.”

But of course, he didn’t said it.

He just dismissed everything saying he didn’t have good sleep which didn’t make things better because later on, he was going to be teased by Emily and Morgan.

And when the case was finally closed, he ran to the closest flower shop to buy her favourite flowers and then he went to her favourite restaurant to get her favourite food to then ran to the metro all the way to their shared apartment.

He tried to manage to open the door with all the things in his hand but he couldn’t so he put his satchel and the flowers on the wooden floor, and he was about to put the food as well but then he thought about the germs even if the food was protected, so he put it above his satchel and he was finally able to open the door.

The lights were off which wasn’t weird of her. She wasn’t a lover of the lights of the apartment, always reminding Spencer that they needed to change them as they were too bright, but they never had time to do so, but that was exactly what Spencer was going to do tomorrow.

He then took off his shoes and put them next to the others, but her shoes weren’t there which was weird but he didn’t think too much about it. Maybe she forgot to take them off.

Spencer, then, open the door, even more, to put all the things inside of the house. He put his satchel on the little table next to the shoes and his keys as well.

Her keys weren’t there.

Spencer’s heart stopped.

Her keys weren’t there.

He breathed in and out softly trying to calm his desperate heart beating faster and faster on his chest wanting to get out. He put his palms together trying to stop the trembling but this time was impossible.

He took the flowers with him and went upstairs closing the front door behind him and he open the door of their shared bedroom.

She wasn’t there.

She-

She wasn’t there.

Where did she go?

Did she leave?

No.

No.

“No,” Spencer whispered the tears coming down his eyes.

She wouldn’t. Even if she was mad. She wouldn’t do that as everyone else did without any more explanation than a letter or a note.

A letter.

He needed to find the letter.

He searched on their bed and the tables beside their side of the bed. He didn’t look in their closet or bathroom because she wouldn’t leave that there.

Spencer went downstairs to the kitchen looking for the letter on the dining table and outside of the refrigerator. But there was none.

He, then walked to the living room looking and moving things making a mess.

He needed to read the letter.

She must have left a letter.

Everyone else left a letter.

And the door open but he didn’t heard it because of his desperation and the sound of his heartbeat making echo in his hears

He needed to find the letter.

He turned around and she saw her. Standing there with a sundress and her hair tied. She looked beautiful. She always looked beautiful, but she had a frown on her face looking with confusion at her surroundings, the mess he just made and then back to Spencer repeatedly.

And then he understood he needed to explain himself. “I-I,” he looked down and closed his eyes full of tears for a few seconds. She saw the trembling on his hands. She made a step forward from instinct but then she stopped as she remembers what happened between them. He looked up at her. He couldn’t get the words out of his mouth but she waited for him to talk, patiently while he tried to find the correct words. “I came here right away. Well not right away because I went first to the flower shop and then to your favourite restaurant,” he rambled looking at her. She didn’t stop him. She didn’t have any intention to stop him. Instead, she listens carefully. She always listens, “you weren’t at home and I’ve been nervous all these past days because I thought you would leave, and you had every right to and then I came back here and you weren’t and I looked for a-a note or letter.”

Her heart shattered.

People that left his life always left a note or a letter. She remembers when he told her that.

“I didn’t leave,” he nodded. She didn’t. She stayed. “Penelope called me and she needed help with something and then she asked me if I knew why you were acting so weird and I talked to her for a while and I didn’t realize how late it was. I’m sorry.”

He shocked his head. Stepping forward to her. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m the one who needs to apologize. I shouldn’t have treated you so badly and I want you to understand that I didn’t mean a single word because you are so great and so amazing in everything you do. I would never mean those words,” now was her turn to nodded, “I just said that because after you being injured, I didn’t want you to hurt yourself or even get killed. I’m selfish, yeah I know that. But you’re my everything, Y/n. Without you, I don’t know what will I do, you’re the only one who keeps me together and the one who brings light to my darkness. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he took her hands looking for permission first, “I said those things because I knew you would stay home, but I didn’t mean them I swear I didn’t.”

She nodded again and hugged him. He sobbed while he hugged her as his life depends on it. “I know. It’s okay love. I won't leave you I promise,” she sobbed too. “I love you.”

“I love you more, so so much.”

And they held each other while they sobbed and repeat those three little words back and forth.

They were home now.

They were okay now.

#criminal minds #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #doctor reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #Spencer Reid blurb #leahsrequests

[chosenimagines]

Trash talk (Dr Spencer Reid)

Universe: Criminal Minds Summary:  Some Fluff^^ Reader (named Lola) is talking to her dead grandmother about Spencer and her insecurities, Spencer overhears most of it

  Warnings: Insecurity, Tears

Language: English Request: yes/no Requests [Open]

A/N: Trash talk plays after Seizure! This one shot/imagine can be found as well on my wattpad^^

🖊️    🖊️    🖊️   🖊️

____________________________________________

“I am scared! And you know it. You know that I am afraid and absolutely freaked out!” I slowly breathe out. It is hard for me to say these things out loud. But I need to! Otherwise, the weight will crush me and my soul. “And I know- I freaking know I shouldn’t be but what if he- What if someone else-” I stop. My thoughts are running through my mind like crazy! It is exhausting. “There’s no guarantee! There is no guarantee…”

My fingers barely touched the round charm on my necklace when I raise my hand to play with it. I want to feel the cool metal under her fingertips but I can’t sense it. The coolness was supposed to ground me. I don’t let go of the necklace even tough it haven’t fulfilled its purpose. “I wish you’d still be here! I would like to introduce him to you. You would love him, Granny!” I shed a tear and smile. “He is kind! And- and sweet and supportive and lovely and-” More tears run down my redden cheeks.  “And so understanding!” A slight cough leaves my throat. “Spencer is incredibly smart! But you already know this of course. I mean I told you about him so many times before.”, I say sobbing. With a rough movement of the back of my hand I wipe the tears of my cheeks. “I am so in love with him. I absolutely love how intelligent he is! Even though sometimes I feel intimidated by his huge knowledge! Everytime he states a fact I get the feeling of being nothing more than a dumb kid instead of a 21 year-old who studies law at The George Washington University. It’s stupid I know! But I can’t help it.” A short, hysterical laugh bursts out of me. I am going crazy inside and out and I don’t even care about that. In this exact moment I only care about getting everything of my chest. “Probably Spencer will notice soon how childish, stupid and useless I am… I can imagine pretty exact how you would look at me right now! You would shake your head in disbelief and say: “If he doesn’t love you the way you are he will never be worth any of your tears!”” I smile under my fresh tears. Again I wipe them off my face. My grandma never liked when I cried when I told her about people. She always said that I can let it all out after I got everything of my chest! She could understand the story better and I can try to have a neutral look at the story. After she left I still try to follow her advice. “You would add to that: “Don’t you dare call yourself stupid! He may have an IQ of 187 but a number is not everything. You are one of the smartest people I know, Lola!” I sniff. My sad smile becomes a bit wider. “In that case I introduce you to the smartest person I know, Granny! Dr Spencer Reid. FBI-agent; bookworm; owner of three PhDs… God! I really hope that Spencer won’t ever recognize that I am not good en-” “Don’t even think about ever finishing that sentence! Never ever in your entire life finish this lie.” Out of the sudden Spencer kneels infront of me. When did he come home? “Lola Emily Cinder-” I immediately interrupt him. “Even my name is stupid and boring!”, I whine desperately. I stand up and let myself fall backwards on the bed behind me. Spencer sits down right next to me and pulls me into a sitting position. His arms are wrapped around me. “No, it is not! Nothing about you is boring. You are wonderful just the way you are. I am pretty sure your grandmother would agree with me.” Spencer gives my hand a tiny squeeze when he notices the tears that are running down my face again. Then he turns his torso into my direction, cups my face with his hands and looks deep into my eyes. As usual I get lost into his hazel eyes. “You are wonderful.”, Spencer repeats before he continues. “You have an incredible personality. I am jealous of your emotional intelligence. I’d rather have that amount of emotional intelligence you’ve got than being a genius.” His giggle after the word genius ends up in a cough. “I want to be honest with you I’ve never thought that I would fall hopelessly in love with a girl who isn’t like me! I have been searching for somebody similar because I felt my whole life like an outsider due to my intellect, my interests, my habits and my personality. I wanted to find someone who makes me feel included because of every similarity we share. Since I have met you, I have everything I need in my life. You make one odd boy feel like an ordinary man that deserves to be loved! God, I wish you would see yourself like I do.” Both of his thumbs swipe over my wet cheeks. “I can spend hours talking with you or even talking about you without getting bored for a single seconde. Don’t you ever think that you are boring! You never cease to amaze me, Lola.” I look at Spencer in disbelief. The glance in my eyes keeps him going. “There are about a hundred things I love about you! For example, I love the way your presence makes me so nervous that I am not able to give you the precise number of character traits and habits I like- no I LOVE about you!” My boyfriend’s breath goes heavy and fast. Spencer has talked much and fast. He had no time to breathe between the words. I am speechless. I stare at without being able to say anything. “I love you, Lola and I only have one wish.” “And what is that wish?”, I ask. “I don’t want you to trash talk about yourself! If you are feeling bad just call and I’ll be there for you. But please don’t put yourself down.”, Spencer demands. “Okay.”, I whisper and wrap my hands around him. “I love you, Spence! More than you’ll ever know.” He tightens the hug and gives me a kiss on the forehead.

#criminal minds #criminal minds one shots #one shots #imagines #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #reid #spencer reid imagine #bau #fbi #the BAU #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid x reader #reader imagine #spencer reid x oc #fluff #criminal minds fluff #original character #requests are open #wattpad

[spencers-renaissance]

Start With This

Summary: Luke accidentally hurts Spencer because they are both hopelessly stupid, but when Spencer's faced with a dangerous situation there's nothing he wants more than Luke. Calling him turns out to be a very good decision.

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Misunderstandings, Making Up, Getting Together

Pairing: Luke x Spencer

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: implied/mentioned sexual assault, more detailed cw on the end notes of the AO3 post <3

Read on AO3

Luke knows he’s getting obvious. His subtlety has completely thrown itself out the window, his dignity’s in the wind, and he’s so, so painfully aware of it all. 

He was probably in love with Spencer before he even met the man: his reputation had preceded him -- as he’d told him that first day in the briefing room -- and the way his friends talked about him, the gentleness he seemed to possess along with the dynamite intelligence of a 187 IQ had his stomach fluttering as he walked in to meet him for the first time. And hadn’t that just sealed the deal. 

Spencer’s face as he walked into the room feels like it’s been permanently burned into the back of his eyelids ever since. He’s not sure what he’d been expecting but it certainly wasn’t someone so adorable. He’d been so open and welcoming and they’d hit it off straight away, every look shared between them, every joint task on the case in Arizona had him buzzing with excitement. If he could spend every waking moment with Spencer, he would. 

And he’s been so good at keeping it under wraps, but lately the looks the girls and Rossi have been sending his way are a bit too… knowing. Like they see right through him. It’s terrifying, really. He’s never had a bad coming out story, mostly because he didn’t until his late twenties when it was much less taboo to be gay and he was surrounded by people who cared far too much about him as a person to care about who he fucked. But he’s also never had a crush on a coworker before, not even a friend, so to be under so much scrutiny in a situation that feels so out of his depths is overwhelming to say the least.

The next case they take on, then, he takes extra caution to be subtle. He volunteers to pair up with others before Emily can assign him something with Spencer; he ignores the looks he directs his way and leaves him behind to room with JJ while he pairs up with Steven. Maybe it’s even more obvious, maybe the looks he’s getting now are far harder to deal with than the ones before but he’s made his bed. Now he’ll lie in it.

And he’ll pointedly refuse to acknowledge the hurt looks Spencer is shooting his way. It’s better to ruffle a few feathers now and get over his crush than ruin such a good friendship and drive a wedge through the team, even if his gut twists and his heart protests as Spencer furrows his brow and looks at his feet.

★

Spencer is fully aware that his chances with Luke are slim to none -- he’s not delusional -- but boy does it hurt being avoided like the plague. It takes him back to school, when he was either politely ignored, mocked from a distance or straight up bullied, when nobody could associate themselves with him without risking a beating of their own. 

As soon as the case is over, he declines Emily’s invitation to go for a drink at her place with the rest of the team, instead opting to go out by himself. There’s a small, hole-in-the-wall joint a few blocks from his apartment that he’s been to a few times; it’s low-key and reasonably quiet, and the food is nice, too. It’ll do him good, he thinks, to get out of his head a bit with a few drinks and a book or three. He’s met the guy who owns the place a few times, and no-one pays enough attention to care that he’s reading a book at a bar instead of solemnly staring into a pint or gyrating on the dance floor, neither of which especially appeal to him.

As predicted, the bar is quiet, so he orders a drink and some nachos and heads to a table in the back. He used to hate bars; so full of people and germs he tended to avoid them at all costs. Now though, he finds the background noise soothing, the chatter and music a comforting backdrop to his own isolation. And on days like today, after difficult cases and tricky emotional minefields to navigate, it’s the perfect setting to sit quietly and read, far more preferable than the deafening silence of his apartment. 

For some reason, though, he simply cannot get his mind off Luke. He was so hopelessly gone for him and it was making everyday tasks that much harder. Even psyching himself up to get out of bed and go to work was proving more and more difficult: knowing he would have to face the man he loved so much who clearly did not love him back was bordering on psychological torture at this point. 

His one saving grace, though, was that he’d always been able to take refuge in the fact that they were friends. That even if he could never have Luke kiss him or take him on a date or sleep in his bed, he could have his friendship. He’d have the warm smiles and hugs and inside jokes and that would be enough. But now even that was seeming like a farflung pipe dream. Had he figured him out? Did he realise Spencer’s feelings for him and feel disgusted? Violated even? 

It’s only after Spencer’s been reading the same page over and over for nearly 10 minutes that he gives up and orders another drink. If he can’t distract himself, he may as well drown his sorrows now he’s here. 

And drown them he does. He finally stumbles onto the pavement outside the bar in the small hours of the morning feeling a little dazed and confused, and he squints his eyes as he tries to get his bearings. He lives round here, he knows that much, but where? He’s looking around for a taxi when a man he’d seen sitting not far from him in the bar approaches him. 

“Hey, baby,” he grins, checking Spencer out as obviously as he’d been doing inside.

It takes Spencer’s mind only a few seconds to recognise that he’s in a potentially vulnerable or dangerous situation but he can’t for the life of him sort through his muddled brain fast enough to figure out the correct response, here. Instead he stares dumbly at the man in front of him, trying to not look as scared as he feels. 

“You looking for a good time?” the man asks, reaching a hand forward to pet crudely at his face. Spencer wishes his flinch wasn’t so obviously borne from terror, but he’s sad and drunk and confused so all he can do is shake his head aggressively and back away. “Aww, come on. I’m a catch, I promise.”

Spencer jumps back further, his back hitting a brick wall as he finally finds his voice. “No, leave me alone, thank you,” he says, trying to sound firm but only sounding scared shitless. The man is huge, Spencer is not, and the street is quiet. Spencer does not like any of these variables, let alone a cocktail made from them. 

The man laughs cruelly, but before he gets a chance to respond another beefy guy he recognises from inside the bar comes over, cigarette in his hand, and clocks the situation. “Oi,” he shouts aggressively, approaching the two of them. “Who the fuck do you think you are? Dude said no.”

“Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?”

Before Spencer can blink, the beefy guy punches his assailant square in the eye, causing him to cuss them both out before telling Spencer he isn’t even worth the trouble and leaving to lick his wounds. “Hey, you okay?” the beefy dude asks, voice much softer when talking to Spencer. “You need me to call someone?”

At this moment, the only person Spencer wants is Luke. He’s shaken up and so sad, and even if Luke is sort of the reason for that, he has to try, right? Maybe… maybe he just was having a bad day and it isn’t Spencer at all. He could call JJ but even her cuddles wouldn’t scratch the itch that’s burning away at his skin, so he finally shakes his head at the guy looking at him with concern. “No, no it’s okay,” he says slowly, voice catching a little. “I know who to call.”

★

Luke also says no to Emily’s invitation, instead heading back to his own place and cracking open a bottle of wine before plonking himself in front of the team and appreciating the cuddles Roxy chooses to bestow on him. He throws in an oven pizza sometime around 11pm and eats it, laughing humourlessly at the scene for a moment. God, if his colleagues could see just how pathetic he is Emily would have to boot him off the team. 

The wine and the warm temperature of the room have him dozing off on the sofa by midnight but he’s woken up abruptly by his phone ringing not long after. The clock on the wall says 1.50am so this is either a case or an emergency; blearily he picks it up to see Spencer’s name on the screen and he can’t slide his finger to answer it fast enough. 

“Spencer?” he asks, voice full of concern. 

The only reply is a choked off sob, making Luke sit up on high alert. “Spence, what’s wrong?” his voice is gentle but determined, he wants to know what’s wrong so he can fix it damnit.

“Can you-- Can you come and get me?” Spencer asks tearfully. He sounds hesitant like he thinks Luke might say no or be angry with him which doesn’t make any sense. He’d never feel like that, not for anything Spencer needs from him. 

“Of course,” he reassures him, gently, still a little bewildered by the absurdity of it all. He springs into action and leaps off the sofa, slipping into some trainers and grabbing his keys. “Where are you, Spence? I’m on my way to the car.”

Spencer rattles off an address before he says, “Wait, don’t go, can you stay on the phone with me?”

Luke’s heart damn near melts at that but he obeys and stays on the phone with him, mumbling platitudes and promising he’s on his way the whole five minute drive until he pulls up in front of the address Spencer gave him, immediately spotting the younger man hunched down against a wall. He parks the car quickly and rushes over, crouching down in front of Spencer and gently pulling his head away from his knees so he can look into his eyes. He immediately recognises he’s drunk and sighs internally, hoping this won’t be too impossible. 

“Hey, Spence, what’s going on?” he asks earnestly, holding onto the man’s forearms partially to help steady himself and partially to offer a noninvasive point of contact for Spencer. 

“Sad,” Spencer says, looking into Luke’s eyes with wide, honest eyes. “You’re angry at me.”

“What?” Luke asks incredulously. “I’m not angry at you, Spencer.”

“Yes,” Spencer nods enthusiastically. “You wanted to work with other people on the case today. You were ignoring me.”

He’s not quite slurring his words but it’s close, and if Luke wasn’t so concerned about the situation at hand he’d find it adorable. “Oh, Spencer, no,” he protests, a sinking feeling in his chest. His own insecurities and fears had got the better of him and he’d managed to make Spencer feel bad about himself. “That was unrelated and not your fault at all, okay? It’s complicated and definitely not a conversation to have on the ground outside a bar at 2am, but we can talk about it somewhere else if you’d like. Do you want me to take you back to your place?”

Spencer looks back at him. “No, don’t want to be alone, please don’t leave me on my own, Luke,” he says, eyes wide in fear this time, not honesty. 

“Okay, okay,” he placates him. “Would you like to come back to mine?”

Spencer launches forward to hug Luke, burying his face into his neck and Luke takes the opportunity to relish the feeling of Spencer’s lithe body against his own, the intimacy he craves so deeply finally being awarded in a small way. “Should I take that as a yes?” he chuckles.

As soon as they get into Luke’s apartment, he gets to sobering Spencer up. He’d managed to pry the number of drinks he’d had out of him in the car, and as soon as they get back he butters him some toast and gives him a glass of water to drink on the sofa while he fills up another glass and grabs some advil. 

“How’s that, Spence, are you okay?” he asks softly as he joins him on the sofa where Spencer is dutifully munching down the toast while late-night TV plays in the background. 

“Yeah,” he whispers, smiling up at Luke, already looking more lucid than he did on the street, though he suspects part of the reason was he was scared and a bit disoriented then and now feels safe. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Spencer,” he smiles back, patting his knee affectionately as he pours him another glass of water. “Have your toast and another glass of water and then you can have a shower, if you like. It’ll help ground you and warm you up a bit.”

Spencer’s compliant through it all, which is obviously desirable, but he’s also quiet. He takes the hoodie Luke chucks his way without comment and slips it on -- Luke very pointedly does not think about how good he looks -- before looking to him for his next direction. 

His eyes are much clearer now and he seems far more sad than drunk, so Luke steers him back to the sofa and hands him a blanket. “Hey, Spencer,” he says, waiting for him to look up before continuing. “What’s going on? Why did you need me to pick you up?”

Spencer fidgets with the blanket as he answers. “Well, I went to the bar to stop thinking, like distract myself, but it didn’t really work so I just decided to have some wine instead, which was really nice and I liked the fuzziness, but then when I left there was this man. He came up to me and was trying to… like he was trying to ask me to sleep with him,” he risks a quick look up to check if Luke is listening to him but averts his eyes from the intense stare when he realises he is. “But I couldn’t remember what I was supposed to do and I panicked but then this man came out of the bar and he punched the other guy and helped me but then I called you so he didn’t have to do anything else.” His voice is nervous as he talks, clearly unsure of himself from the way he darts around from point to point, his typical eloquence evading him. 

“I’m sorry, Spencer,” Luke says, earnestly. “I’m sorry that happened to you but I’m even more sorry that you were sad enough to drown your sorrowsbecause of me. Tomorrow, I promise we can talk about this and I’ll explain everything, but right now I think you should sleep. You can take my bed or the sofa tonight, whichever one makes you feel more comfortable, and then I’ll make you whatever you want for breakfast in the morning and we can chat. How does that sound?”

Spencer looks satisfied for now, cocking his head to the side. “Hm, can I have pancakes?” he asks.

Luke laughs fondly at that, leaning forward to ruffle Spencer’s hair lightly as he tries not to read into it when Spencer leans into his touch. “Are you kidding?” he teases. “You’re looking at the pancake maker extraordinaire right here.” He relishes Spencer’s giggle at that, pleased at how relaxed he looks now he knows Luke isn’t angry at him. “Pancakes in the morning. For now, where would you like to sleep?”

“The sofa’s fine,” Spencer says softly, a small smile playing over his face as he follows Luke with his eyes as he stands up to collect some blankets and pillows. “Thank you, Luke.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he smiles back, and hands him the extra blankets and cushions. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

★

Spencer wakes up to the sound of dog paws on wooden floors and is momentarily confused -- he does not have a dog nor wooden floors -- before the events of last night flood into his head with a crashing wave of humiliation. He sits up abruptly, blinking his eyes against the soft grey light of the gloomy day, and looks around until he meets Luke’s eyes where he’s sat drinking a cup of coffee at the dining table. 

He knows he’s flushing an embarrassing shade of red but he can’t help it, this whole situation is so bizarre. “Good morning,” he finally says.

“Morning Spencer,” Luke says, hiding his far-too-wide smile behind his coffee mug. “Did you sleep okay?”

He just nods and hums in response, before excusing himself and rushing to the bathroom for a small semblance of privacy. Looking in the mirror, he splashes his face with some cold water and fiddles with his hair until it’s sat the way he wants it to before taking some deep breaths in a vain attempt at composure. He’s sort of in love with Luke, being in his apartment like this is mildly intoxicating. 

Eventually, he surfaces back in the main living area where Luke’s already started on the pancakes. “Hey, you good?” he calls over his shoulder as he flips the pan, a delish smell intoxicating the kitchen.

“I’m good,” Spencer confirms, joining him in the kitchen for a front row seat of Luke cooking. Chatting menially together as the pancake stash slowly builds, Spencer gathers all the toppings at Luke’s direction before they move to sit at the table and start tucking in, both trying to ignore the rising tension at what they both know is coming.

“You’re being so nice to me now but all throughout the case you barely looked at me, I mean you couldn’t even share a room with me in the hotel,” Spencer says after a few moments of silent apprehension as they have their first bites. “Is it… is it because I’m gay?” His voice drops to a whisper, face contorting from confusion to apprehension, feeling a little nervous that Luke might get angry now he’s reminded him of it.

“What, no, Spencer, of course not,” Luke says defensively. “God, I’m not a homophobe. The exact opposite, actually. I’m gay, too.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” Luke puts his knife and fork down and runs a hand over his face as he psychs himself up. “That’s the problem. The truth is, I’m into you, Spencer, very much so. And I’m fully aware that you’re my best friend and you won’t feel the same way, so… that’s a problem. The others were starting to realise so I distanced myself, but it has nothing to do with you, it’s all me so please don’t blame yourself, alright?”

“Oh.” Spencer’s brain is short-circuiting.

“I’m sorry, I just needed to explain why I acted like that.” Luke apologises, sitting forward again. “I know this is probably making you uncomfortable, I can drop you back or call you a cab or something--”

“No,” Spencer says suddenly, snapping back into action as the information finally processes. Leaving right now is the last thing he wants. “No, I’m fine. Sorry, I’m just caught off guard. You… like me?”

“Well, yeah,” Luke smiles, a little awkwardly. “If you want to put it like that.”

“Oh.” He pauses for a moment as everything finally clicks into place. “We are both very stupid.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because the primary reason I was sad and drinking at a bar alone last night was because I am very much in love with you and feared you were pushing me away. That I’d lost my chance forever,” Spencer explains. “I don’t have much experience with relationships, so I didn’t know how to deal with it and when you started acting distant I did the same and… ran away, I guess.”

Luke’s glad that Spencer’s eyes are clear this morning and his eloquence is back or he’d fear he’s still somehow drunk out of his mind still and has no idea what he’s saying. “Oh.” It’s his turn to blank on a response. 

“To be honest, Luke, I don’t know where to go from here,” Spencer laughs, a little awkwardly.

“Let’s start with this,” Luke says, getting up from his seat across the table and sliding into the chair next to Spencer, bridging the gap between the two before he kisses him gently. Spencer’s hand reaches forward to grip the front of his shirt, kissing back with just as much trusting desire as he feels Luke smile against his lips. They part at the kiss’ natural conclusion, pulling back to look at each other, tense awkwardness replaced with a new understanding of one another. 

“Yeah,” Spencer smiles. “That feels like a good start.”

It’s a good start, but it’s by no means the end. The heaviness that had weighed between them for so long finally lifts and the lightness that replaces it means they both breathe easier, finishing their pancakes in between shy, cautious looks and shameless giggles. “Do you have anything you need to do today?” Luke asks as he washes their plates up, Spencer perched on the kitchen counter next to him. 

“Nope,” Spencer says, smiling at the implication of such an answer. 

“Well, what do you feel like doing?” he asks, wearing far too cheeky of a grin for Spencer to avoid leaning down and planting a kiss on his lips. 

“Hm,” Spencer ponders, looking out the window at the rainy day. “I think movies and snacks would be perfect if I have you as company.”

“You smooth little thing,” Luke teases, poking Spencer’s side with a wet finger and delighting in the giggle that escaped his lips. “That sounds perfect to me.” He washes the frying pan last and quickly wipes down the kitchen before they head to the sofa, arms piled high with all the crisps, chocolate and cookies they can find in his cupboards. Spencer also digs about in the freezer and finds a pint of ice cream to share, which they feed each other bites of later in a sickeningly sweet, cliched moment of tenderness.

Luke chooses the first movie, picking out a Marvel film that Spencer ends up actually enjoying, though Luke can’t exactly say the same about Spencer’s choice, an obscure period piece from the 1960s. Still, he cuddles him close and pays attention to every minute. If it matters to Spencer, it matters to him. 

And if wasting the day away with movies, snacks, and heart to hearts turns out to be exhausting enough that Spencer just has to stay the night again, this time sharing Luke’s bed with him and Roxy, then they’ll just have to make the absolute most out of such a terribly inconvenient situation. And they’ll deal with how to hide a 2 night love-fest from a team of profilers in the morning, because they’re far too oblivious to realise they already know.

Tags: @johanna-swann @pretty-b0yy 

#criminal minds #criminal minds writing #criminal minds fic #ralvez #spencer reid #luke alvez #criminal minds angst #my writing

[galacticidiots]

So you want to read some banging Reylo fics...

{or: a roundup post of some of my recent reads}

And It Burns. (T, 6K) I am begging you to read this. It’s Lightside Ben and Darth Kira and it is glorious and so beautifully written. The constant push and pull between them, the shifting dynamic, the way the character roles are reversed but everything still feels so incredibly natural and organic and them... masterful. So, so gorgeous.

To Say (M, 600 words) is a really, really beautiful soulmate AU drabble. You will definitely cry, but it’s so worth it. Truly.

I’ve got you (under my skin) (E, WIP) Y’all, it’s nanny Rey and she’s hooooorny. So is Ben. They’re both like, indecently horny. It’s great. Basically, Ben hires Rey to look after his son. (Sexy) stuff happens.

Six Feet Under (E, WIP) Archeologst Ben & Egyptologist Rey are working on a dig together when they find a very interesting journal. It goes very much uphill from there. Guys, this is so much fun! Do you know how long I’ve wanted a story like this? (as long as I’ve been alive, probs). I love the fact that they’re supposed to have huge IQs but they’re basically idiots when it comes to like... feelings.

Truth Be Told (M, 29K) IT’S AN ALIAS AU. Ahhhhh. Alias is one of my favourite shows of all time and this does not disappoint. Rey is the babeliest badass, just like Sydney, and Agent Ben is dreamy, just like Vaughn. This reminded me of the best of Alias and for that, I love it.

Midnight Snacks (T, 2K) They meet late one night in the community kitchen and Ben is offended that Rey would choose to eat something as awful as noodles - so he makes her something infinitely better :))

A Bright New Light (G, 3K) A really special take on Ben’s time at the Temple and how he felt when Rey was born. I love everything about this. The author’s take on what Ben felt when he was sent away, on his conflicting emotions, his inability to fit in, and his yearning for belonging all align perfectly with what I have always envisioned. I also love the care they put into the side characters, like Luke and particularly Tai, and the way they wrote about the bond. So, so beautiful.

a love like ours (T, 6K) In which Ben is a funeral director and Rey is a florist and ohmygodit’samodernHadesandPersephone AU. Utterly charming!!

Do You Know The Muffin Man? (T, 2K) The one where Ben is smitten with his co-worker Rey and he starts leaving muffins on her desk. So really, my taste in everything.

can’t take my eyes (off of you) (E, WIP) Is the genderswapped 10 Things I Hate About You AU of my dreams. I don’t know what else to say besides the obvious - read it.

take care of you (M, 3K) Come one, come all - get your sugar sweet devoted Reylo fix! Wherein Ben has had a bad day and Rey wants nothing more than to make it all better *happy sigh*

Remedy For Rivalry (E, WIP) Listen, some people say there’s no such thing as a perfect story, but then this comes along and it’s an historical arranged marriage enemies to lovers WHO HAVE HISTORY type of deal and they are proven wrong. Because this? Perfection.

how to be something you miss (T, 7K) They’re exes but they love each other and they miss each other but they’re dumb... is the thing. Soft. Soft, soft, soft and sweet and perfect.

all of you, all of me (intertwined) (T, 7K) *sobs in a good way* This is an incredibly sweet take on the whole ‘redeemed Ben trying to fit in at the Resistance base’ scenario. Lovely stuff!!

A Nightingale Sang (E, WIP) I know I keep begging you to read stuff, but I am begging you to read this. It’s so fucking beautiful I could cry. I have cried, and I’m sure I’ll continue crying. It’s a WWII AU and Ben & Rey are both pilots. I don’t want to spoil it for you because this is not the kind of story you read - it’s the kind you experience. Give it a chance, I promise you won’t regret it.

Choreae Lucis (E, 7K) The one where single father Ben takes his daughter to Ballet lessons and his heart pirouettes for teacher Rey. Sooooooooo sweet and wonderful and SOFT.

neither here nor there (E, 6K) What happens when Rey purchases a sex toy that is an exact replica of porn star Kylo Ren’s, uh... lightsaber, only to find out that her neighbour Ben is Kylo Ren? This happens, and it’s glorious.

curse the beauty, curse the queen (E, WIP) I’ve only just started this but the premise is delicious - former Queen of Naboo Rey and Senator Ben Solo are to be married, in a plan hatched by Ben’s grandmother Padmé. Naturally, I’m in lust.

Twitfics

System Override - If you’ve been following me for any measure of time, you might be aware of how much I love the Illuminae series (it’s a whole, disgusting lot). This gives me the BEST illuminae vibes. Basically, It’s Supreme Leader Ben bonding with AI R.E.Y. I love love love love it.

want you more than a melody is my current obsession. Orchestra AUs are of one my favourite things in the world and this one is GOD TIER. Ben plays the cello, Rey plays the flute, and they are reunited at the New York Phillarmonic after six years without seeing each others. Turns out, Rey was left with more than just memories after their whirlwind romance. This. is. everything.

Betas Only is a roommates AU in which Ben is looking for a beta to share an apartment with him. Beta Rey applies (lol). Also on AO3!

Priceless - Y’aaaaaaall, it’s a Wedding Date AU and I’m in love.Or: the one where Rey hires Ben to be her escort to Rose’s wedding.

Fall Into the Dark Side - comic bookshop worker Rey and comic book writer Ben are possibly my new faves. I binged it this morning and I love everything about it.

Lingerey - the one where Rey texts her dearly detested colleague Ben a photo of herself...scantily clad. Shenanigans very much ensue. Gourmet!

Lingerey (II) is another take on the above prompt, but this time Rey is Ben’s son’s nanny.

Shampoo Challenge features roommates Ben & Rey and Ben’s dick going viral.

Artfullly sees Poe asking Ben & Rey to participate in his risqué art installation.

To Whomever Gets My Dog tells the tale of military man Ben who has to leave his pooch behind. Thankfully, Rey is available to foster him :)

Last twitfic rec post | Fic Rec tag | Masterpost

#reylo #reylo fanfic #fic rec

[drethanramslay]

90 with MC and Rafael. Thank you!!

Thanks for the ask, anon 😉

You can find the prompt list here.

#90-“Can…can you come over?”

Warning: it's fluff, angst and long 😅 also it's kind of based on my raf x mc fic

Author's note: The MC's name is Addison Jones. I usually use different names of the MCs for different pairings :)

Taglist: @miyakokurono @trappedinfandoms @openheart12 @sekizincimektup @junggoku @ethandaddyramsey @edith-eggs1 @ethanramseysgirl (let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list 😊)

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"Have a great day babe." Sora said as she kissed him on the lip.

Raf just grinned and kissed her back. "You too Sora. Kick some surgical ass out there, okay?"

"You know it babe." She winked and walked away. Raf watched her walk into the hospital, small smile on his lips.

He was about to leave but his eyes fell on the familiar blonde, sitting on the bench in the ambulance bay, eating a bagel.

"Hey Addy!" He said as he settled in beside her.

"Raf, if you even thing I'm going to give you my Nutella bagel, try again." She said as she continued to scroll through her phone.

"You wound me Addy. You can't even say a normal 'good morning' to me." Raf pouted. She just rolled her eyes and took a big bite of her bagel.

"You are big boy, I think you can deal with a little heartbreak." Raf winced but luckily Addison didn't notice.

It had been three months since she confessed her love for him. He wanted to run to her and say those words back but it was hard. He was afraid of what he had with Addison. The feelings he felt for her, were so intense that it left him dazed and confused.

Sora was his safety net, the one who will always love him irrespective of what happens.

You love Sora not Addy. Rafael chanted it like a mantra, hoping that it would nail into his brain. But, how do you fight off that feeling when the love for a certain person is ingrained into your DNA?

"Hello Raf?!! Anybody there?" She knocked his forehead. "Yup nobody. As empty as a coconut." She ruffled his hair, like she used to when they would lie naked in bed. She just wishes to turn back when he was hers, but that won't ever happen.

Addy, he made his choice. He chose Sora, you can do nothing but, respect that..

"Shut up. I have more IQ in my fingers that you have in your brains." He shoved her and Addy laughed. "Keep lying to yourself, superman."

She looked down on her watch and got up. "Ight imma head out. Don't get yourself killed big man."

"Don't stress yourself out too much Addy." He called out, with a huge grin in his face.

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It had been three days since their last interaction and Rafael hadn't seen the blonde. He initially brushed it off but when he spoke to Lahela the other day, he got to know she hadn't been coming.

"Hey Sora, have you seen Addy at work?" He asked nonchalantly as he drove her to work after having a late lunch together.

"Huh? No, haven't seen her... Anyways who cares?!" Sora laughed but Raf felt a pinch in his heart, hearing Sora say that to his- Addy.

He just shook his head and stayed quiet. He knew if he brought it up, they would fight.

As she got down from the car she turned towards him. "Don't forget, today's taco Tuesday."

He gave her a tight smile but his mind was wandering off to Addison. He was getting worried about her. He took out his phone and typed a message-

He put his phone on the seat next to him and pulled out of the curb to his work.

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It had been three hours since and she had still not responded. It was quite unlike her. That girl was obsessed with her phone and wouldn't be found dead without it. He had sent a couple of more texts but the lack of response just made him antsy.

So when his phone pinged and he saw her name he immediately unlocked the phone.

"Addy?" He spoke into the phone.

He heard her clear her throat. "Um hi."

"What's wrong?"

She chuckled dryly. "Nothing... Everything? I don't know..." Her voice cracked at the end.

"You know you can talk to me...right?"

"I- I can't on the phone... Can..can you come over?" She was breathing heavily, as if she was on the verge of crying.

"I'm on my way."

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When he entered the penthouse, Sienna looked worried. "Thank God you are here man." Elijah said as he opened the door. "What's wrong? How is she?" Raf asked frantically.

"She hadn't any food today and has been holed up in her room since yesterday."

"What's the date today?"Raf asked.

"18th. Why?"

Holy shit, how could I forget.

He knocked and entered her room, finding Addy on the floor looking at the photo album. She was wearing a 'guns n roses' shirt, which looked way to old and some shorts.

"Hey." She looked up and gave a small smile.

He went and sat down next to her. "Look at this picture." She pointed to a picture in which her twin brother and her were standing in the backyard, making a snowman.

"We were only five, but we had the best snowman on the block. Andrew was always the creative one. Hell, you should have see the cakes he baked and the art on them would be so beautiful that you wouldn't even want to cut it."

Flipping the page, she showed him another photo. He was holding a can whipped cream and Addy was lying asleep. But, the focus of the picture was the gigantic moustache on her face. "Even when he had leukemia, Drew always pulled such pranks on me. God, I was so pissed that day. We had a full blown out food fight in the dorm, which ended in him smelling like stale whipped cream and me having rotten egg smell, coming from my hair. But we always made up. He was my twin. We would always be joined at the hip. He was my ride and die."

She closed the album and tears streamed down her face. Clutching the shirt, which belonged to Andrew she spoke. "I miss him so damn much... It hurts. I thought I would go meet him, but God I couldn't enter go past the gate of the cemetery. It's been 5 years, but I STILL can't see his headstone."

Raf wrapped his arm around her shoulder and squeezed. "I'm not gonna say something like 'it's okay' or 'everything will be fine'. It's not okay and nothing will ever be the same. Just because time had passed, it doesn't mean that it will not hurt. Yes, the pain will gradually decrease but... It's okay to feel. Just reminds us that we are human."

He tucked her blonde hair behind her ear. "It's okay you couldn't go to meet him. Nobody is gonna judge you. People deal with grief differently. You dealt with it by becoming the best doctor in the hospital. And it's the small gestures that matter. You are honouring him with happy memories and I'm pretty sure that he is happy wherever he is."

He got up and walked to the adjacent bathroom and got a damp washcloth with a bowl filled with water. He lifted Addison in his arms and placed her gently on the bed. He kept the photo album on her bedside table.

He gently wiped her tear stained face. The cool cloth, helped her cool down the vortex of emotions in her chest. "Addy, you are the strongest person I've known. And Drew would be proud to see what his sister is doing."

He wiped her neck and her collarbones, where sweat had accumulated. This was nothing sexual. It was just Raf taking care of her.

He dipped the washcloth in the cold water and wrung it. He wiped her arms, his hands brushing the tattoo on the inside of her wrist. It was a simple one. Just the name 'Andrew' inscribed in an infinity sign.

Addison sighed, as her fingers traced the tattoo. Raf got up and walked out of the room to keep the bowl and washcloth. He returned in some time with a plate full of steaming pasta.

"Is that for me?" Addison asked as her stomach grumbled.

"Nope. If you think I'm gonna share my dinner with you, try again." He teased her.

She smacked his bicep and he just laughed out loud. "Yes sweetheart, its for you. Now open your mouth-"

"That's what he said." Addy snickered.

"Get out."

They laughed together as they ate the pasta. After cleaning up, he was just trucking her in, when Addison asked, "Will you stay?" giving him her puppy eyes.

His phone buzzed and he knew it was Sora, complaining about how he didn't make it. He didn't want to go home and have another fight.

"I'm not going anywhere Addy. I'm always here for you." He says as he snuggled into her blankets, feeling her warm petite body, lying on his chest.

Just the way it's always been.

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Today is the last day I am taking requests so don't hesitate to drop in an ask 😊

#my asks #anushka writes #choices stories we play #choices stories you play #choices oh #choices #playchoices #open heart mc #open heart 2 #open heart #ohsy #oh rafael #rafael aveiro #open heart rafael #rafael x mc #writing prompts #Pixelberry

[australian-desi]

Asur - Review/Reaction

Okay so I loved it! This show has changed me as a person somehow. But honestly speaking it was fucked (some people said more fucked than sacred games but I dont watch that so I dont have a reference). The background of Hindu mythology was used amazingly and holy shit the actors. Guys the actors need a round of applause coz they were simply amazing. I’m still shaking after watching the last episode I literally finished the show in 1.5 days so like safe to say I was hooked. I would also like to say that the show itself was very well paced, at no point did I think that the story was going too slow or too fast, everything was perfectly timed and perfectly revealed. I will be cutting this post for a more in-depth review - and after the cut everything are 

Also before you guys watch - this show is very dark - it depicts suicidal tendencies, gory murders and gruesome scenes - things that will make you lowkey vomit (I have a pretty high tolerance for these things so I was fine, but just in case you aren’t it’s good to know coz they spring those up on you) 

SPOILLLLERRRRSSSSS

Actors/Characters: 

Arshad Warsi as Dhananjay ‘DJ’ Rajpoot: This is the first time I’ve seen Arshad Warsi in a non-comic role, and I was honestly truly blown away. He was simply amazing. Now coming to character. The main message of this show was that ‘evil lives in all of us’. But the way they revealed it was quite phenomenal. DJ is shown to be the ‘innocent’ ‘good guy’ and how is was wrongfully framed for his wife’s murder, but is still working to find the actual serial killer - not because to save himself, but in order to save other people. It is then shown, that he had done something ‘bad’ ‘immoral’ and ‘wrong’ in his life - 10 years ago he caused a 15-year-old to go to jail rather than a juvenile detention centre for the murder of his father. He did this by faking his birth certificate and forging evidence - since there was no evidence to connect the child to the murder (but the audience knows that he did it). Thus, begins the game for his repentence. 

Barun Sobti as Nikhil Nair: So here’s the ting - I genuinely forget how good of an actor our boi is (don’t blame me I’ve spent the last 8 years, watching him go “what the” and “Khushi Kumari Gupta”, throwing anger fits and tantrums), but holy shit I was blown away. Barun has this ability to make his audience feel every emotion he’s going through - anger, sadness, despair, happiness, joy, relief - everything, he is a brilliant actor. Nikhil was an amazing character. He was an all-in-all protagonist. He had a loving relationship with his wife and a daughter that he loved very much. However, when he is kidnapped by the serial killer himself - he is given an option - to either let his wife and kid die, or become an accomplice to murder, where he meticulously plans the murder and the killer goes and does the job. He chooses the latter, thus, blurring the line between good and bad. It is also interesting considering the man that saved lives ended up taking them. The final test for him is when in order to save three hostages, he is asked to sacrifice his daughter. He does that and it is shown that due to the trauma they have faced, one of the hostages shoots the other, making Nikhil regret his decision instantly - the killer thus proving his point, human nature is evil, that even the good turn to evil in hardship. Nikhil blames DJ’s deeds for his daughter’s death, and Naina leaves him, blaming him for their daughter’s death. 

Ridhi Dogra as Nusrat Saeed: Nusrat is shown to be the ex-gf/ex-love etc. of Nikhil, before he left CBI without telling her about where he was going and for how long. In all these years she has been unable to move on from him and has replaced her love life with work as a forensics expert. She is shown to be very talented in her job and is shown to have a friendly relationship with everyone - although, in a hallucination, Nikhil is shown to feel guilty for what he did to her and deep down does love her, but loves his wife more 

Anupriya Goenka as Naina Nair: Naina is shown to be a doting mother, and a loving wife, who has issues that although her husband loves her very much, wants to rejoin the CBI, even if he has to leave her for it. She ends up going to him and is shown to be a very talented software engineer working in cyber-security. She then ends up helping the CBI in order catch the killer 

Vishesh Bansal as 15-year-old Shubh Joshi: This kid holy shit. I watched him in IPPKND as Aarav and some other serials here and there, but man he blew me away. Like I was sitting there shook half the time as to how can someone be this talented. Now Shubh Joshi was who this story was about - the asura, the rakshas, the one who was awaiting for Vishnu to return on this Earth to vanquish him. When Shubh’s mother was pregnant with him, his father the head priest wanted a ‘devta-like putra’ he wanted a god on the form of the Earth to the point, he made his kundli in advance and did not allow for his wife to give birth until the right month. He failed, as his wife slipped down the stairs, and ended up giving birth 2 days before he wanted her to. She gave birth in the month in which demons were said to be born. Thus, Shubh turned out to be extraordinary - he learnt how to walk at 2 days old, he was able to read the scriptures by the time he was 3, and had an IQ of above 160. His dad used to curse him, beat him, and call him an ‘asur’ to the point he started believing it. When his grandfather took him to the psychologist - he was diagnosed with autism, causing him to not have the same social skills and unable to connect with others as well as other kids. His father’s abuse caused his brain to become extremely violent, and it is then shown that he goes to a skeleton and breaks its index finger, then finding a dog and burning it alive, with no emotion. At 15 he poisons his father causing his father to fall into the river to his death - he drops the lota in which he was poisoning him with getting rid of the evidence. However, DJ sees this, and sees no remorse for his father’s death, he seems unaffected by it, and continues on his day as normal. DJ then fakes evidence and his birth report - causing him to go to jail rather than receive therapy and counselling for a better future. In jail he becomes a leader - he is able to convince people to let the evil in them take over the good because that’s what human tendency is. It is what we are meant to do and that those who do not entertain the evil in them, deserve to die. 

Amey Wagh as present-day Shubh Joshi: Gonna say it here - A+ casting. He looks exactly how you would expect Shubh Joshi to look when he is older. So Shubh Joshi is now a serial killer - who kills people from the horoscope of greatness, people who do good deeds - he does this to send a message to Vishnu to come on earth and now thinks of himself to be mighty and powerful as an asur should be. He is shown to now have a huge following to the point where Nikhil and DJ all think of him to look different, but he instead, is their coworker, Rasool Sheikh the hacker in the CBI. As he is quiet and aloof, no one suspects him, and thus, he is able to conduct these murders with absolute precision of planning. When Lolark finds out that he is the real Shubh, he ends up killing him, right after his child’s death and the CBI arrest the wrong Shubh who was shown to be Kesari - the first follower of Shubh in jail. The show ends when Shubh looks deep into DJ’s eyes reminding him of his 15-year-old self, causing DJ to realise he is indeed the real Shubh. 

The rest of the cast and crew were equally amazing but I just mentioned the main ones otherwise we’ll be here for days 

Things I liked: 

I loved the use of Hindu mythology, they also narrated some stories in Shubh’s POV questioning whether the gods were always right - was Vishnu right into tricking the asur’s into their death for no reason, was Krishna right, knowing about the war and not being able to stop it? 

Also loved how in depth the characters were - Shubh was horrible in what he did, but by writing in a way that if the things that happened to him hadn’t had happened owing to his developmental disorder he would’ve been a ‘good’ person. 

The fact that it wasn’t Shubh’s complete fault that he thought this way, and the fact he had autism + the system really failing him showed us that not all bad people are born bad - sometimes situations make them that way. And some don’t even know the difference between the right and wrong choice - what if some people do truly think evil is bad. 

I loved the concept of the main protagonists being good people but being pushed to embrace the evil - especially when Nikhil, who thought he did a good deed by saving the hostages to prove to Shubh that inherently good people do truly exist and he sees one of the hostages kill the other - truly shakes this belief. It shows that even after being forced to accomplice to murders - he still had hope, a hope that was brutally crushed 

I loved the cast as well, they all had good chemistry and Barun and Arshad were amazing. 

Things I disliked: 

The female characters weren’t explored at all. Nusrat’s whole arc revolved around Nikhil and finding the killer’s. There were some episodes where she wasn’t even there. And a lot of her character was an accessory to Nikhil’s and DJ’s characters. On the other hand, Naina’s character was only a mother and a wife. In fact she joins the CBI to help them find her husband, she isn’t even leading the investigation or anything. Also in the first half of the show she was truly very annoying and just deserved better in general rather than just being the parallel love interest. They should’ve done more with the female characters. What was stopping them from being as brilliant or as great as the male characters. Nikhil and DJ were described as geniuses and out of this world. While Nusrat just helped. 

The amount of Shuddh hindi - I know he’s a pandit’s son and his whole thing is religion he will talk in Shuddh hindi. But honestly, I wish they gave english translations or show it with pictures or something else coz it was very very very hard for me to understand some things and I lost a lot of context 

That is all - enjoy this review hopefully I didn’t spoil the whole show (I definitely did), and have a great day

#asur #barun sobti #ridhi dogra #arshad warsi #anupriya goenka

[luwupercal]

heres the most important post ill ever post to this website: the primarchs’ opinions re: platonic ideal of the “Philosopher King”

baseline: i, op, fucking hate it because philosophers suck and kings suck and trying to be both is like. youre just telling me your iq is huge when iq isnt real. youre telling me youre a billionaire when money is a madeup concept. i dont give a shit. youre a privileged little rat and if you had to clean a bathroom you wouldnt even know where to start. you have no emotional intelligence if you define yourself as a philosopher-king or admirer of philosopher-kings not in the sense that oyu dont have empathy but in the sense that you dont know what the purpose of having empathy is. get out 

anyways

lion: came up with the concept of the philosopher king independant of plato and still believes in it, unfortunately, but also considers plato secretly kind of a copycat, so i cant hate him. would claim to be a philosopher king himself but secretly have hangups

fulgrim: pre heresy, would genuinely unironically consider himself a philosopher-king. post-heresy/laer/etc he has seen the true light that the dichotomy isnt Leader/Masses but instead emotional intelligence/immaturity (chad vs virgin) and has decided to be immature while pretending to be emotionally mature for clout and fuck all else

perturabo: probably buys into the idea and thinks of himself as a philosopher king but i know theres something gnawing at him about it. i know and i encourage it. i know its gnawing at him i know it is im not going to stop

khan: diogenes-adjacent chad so probably doesnt but still pays lipservice to the idea. if he had any doubt philosopher kings arent real i think the heresy threw them in the garbage. post heresy hes literally living in a barrel in the webway pissing in the drukharis amphitheatre i cannot overstate how chad-like this behavior is

leman russ: the worst of both worlds. believes in philosopher kings and takes shits on your living room table. the philosopher king in question is daddy dearest. post-heresy hes probably moved on to be purely diogenesian though in an astounding act of character development

rogal dorn: believes in the idea of a philosopher-king but contends with the realm of ideal concepts thing. halfway there bro

konrad curze: THE MOST DIOGENESIAN PRIMARCH, literally lived in a barrel drinking water out of puddles, nothing but respect

sanguinius: pays lip service to platonic ideals but doesnt truly sincerely believe in it

ferrus manus: Please subscribe to ferrus manus’s philosophy/life coaching podcast today on maximumfun.org and then go to audible.com and enter “ferrusmanus” for a 25% discount on your next Seneca audiobook

angron: please look at him

guilliman: trying really fucking hard to believe philosopher kings are real but oh my god the 42nd millennium is TESTING him (come to the dark side guilliman we dont have toilets)

mortarion: terminally online irony poisoned dirtbag political, spiteful enough to launch a chicken at your face for daring to classify man as anything but Piece of Shit, you tell me if this motherfucker believes in philosopher kings

magnus: ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BELIEVED IN PHILOSOPHER KINGS AT ONE POINT probably still does to some extent because hes full of juicy hubris like a pastry. hes like the most niche parts of terminally online soft pastel sangled icon LGBT discourse combined with the hell on earth that is an unironical plato believer. For the love of god montresor please fucking help me

horus: believes in philosopher-kings in the same way a trust fund jock believes in the Dow

lorgar: used to be really into philosopher-kings as an idea to properly articulate the emperors divinity. doesnt do that anymore

vulkan: one time ferrus tried to explain to him the concept of plato’s cavern and the whole ideals/concepts coming before their physicality thing and they both agreed it was fucking bullshit but ferrus wanted to keep arguing the reasons why it was bullshit and vulkan was just like .can we please keep playing minecraft dude

corvus corax: hes literally a prison abolition anarchocommunist you tell me

alpharius omegon: dont know what a philsobbie is and are scared it’s too late to ask

#headcanons #fuck you. indulgence #primarch listicles

[dropintomanga]

Death Note 2020 - A One-Shot Deliverance of Meaningful Attention

What a return. What. a. return.

One of manga’s mid-2000s’ hits made a big impression on February 3 with a near-90 page one-shot that reminded fans why it had the impact it did. Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi’s Obata new Death Note one-shot special brings the story to today’s times with a new Kira. I was left thinking about what this new chapter in the story had to say about changing the world when a lot more fear and anxiety has proliferated in the information age.

How do I sum this one-shot as short as possible? We get introduced to a young man named Minoru Tanaka, who the Shinigami Ryuk chooses as a new Death Note user. The two meet in 2017 when Minoru becomes depressed over his failing test scores in high school. Ryuk decides on Minoru due to his high IQ, but Minoru decides to delay possession of the Death Note until 2019 after inquiring about Ryuk’s Shinigami nature. When they finally reunite, Minoru decides to sell the Death Note auction-style on a live Japanese news broadcast and make his auction go viral on Twitter. His plan works as Twitter users rabidly make their offers online. 

Things get even crazier when foreign governments get in on the action and Minoru, dubbed A-Kira by the new L (formerly Near), decides to let them make the offer. The U.S. wins the auction and the President (who clearly doesn���t look like a famous real person we all know) decides to use the Death Note for world peace. Minoru decides to use the money earned from the auction by entering it to various Japanese bank accounts for people ages 60 and under.

It later turns out the Shinigami King was furious about the Death Note not being used for its intended purpose. He instates a new rule - whoever buys or sells the Death Note in the human world will die. Once the seller receives money and the buyer gets the book in their hands, that’s it for them. When Ryuk tells the U.S. President about the rule as he was about to transfer ownership to him, the President decides to not take the Death Note. The Japanese economy starts to thrive, but Minoru would die a month later after his grand plan. Much to the chagrin of Ryuk, he wonders who else can make usage of the Death Note for a longer period of time.

Much like his predecessor Light Yagami, Minoru wants to bring some kind of positive change to the world. What’s unique was that he decides to not kill anyone at all. I mean, selling something that’s technically legal isn’t a crime, right? 

It reminds me about idealism - something that is often frowned upon as one gets older. When you are younger, you get taught about how things like justice and strong morals/ideals matter. As you get older, you start to realize how fine the lines people walk in order to preserve a sense of order that may not be just. I read an article about the rising “eco-anxiety” in children who believe their lives are already over before they begun due to climate change. Reading that piece after reading the new Death Note one-shot made me think about how adults have passed on so much anxiety to younger generations without realizing it. Adults say that youth can do anything while also saying that the world will end. 

In one part of the story, Minoru comments to Ryuk that IQ tests are a waste of time and aren’t a great measure of intelligence. Plus how does intelligence equate to making the world better? IQ testing is just a form of comparison that hurts everyone and may not address more life-concerning matters. It also doesn’t predict one’s future success in life. 

Speaking of hurting everyone, the one-shot subtly references how the Japanese economy is still trying to recover from their boom period in the 1980s’. That’s why Minoru used the Death Note the way he did. He knows people in his country are facing uncertainty and possibly dealing with a biased view of scarcity leading them to make poor financial reasons due to outside pressures. I know there are those who say money doesn’t matter and I will say it does matter (only up to a certain point). Having just enough to live relieves the burden of financial anxiety.  That relief is perhaps more important than what Light did in ending war in his Kira days. Times of peace (as we can see in real life) doesn’t mean life is stress-free. Conflict will happen since everyone operates on different wavelengths. There are outside forces that try to instill and manipulate fear to provide a false sense of security. We still have to remain vigilant and not be so alarmed at the same time.

I do feel that Minoru’s plan is a lesson on how to better manage conflict or avoid unnecessary conflict. Everyone knows we all hate having to say things that should be said that irk those around us or dealing with drama that seems pointless. The Death Note itself is a representation of how to handle arguments or disagreements in a not-so-pleasant way. While Kira was noted to be a hero in some ways, Minoru points out that Kira is frowned upon by educators for having a god complex.

Of course, this floats back to a big theme of Death Note - getting attention. Light was trying to get the world’s attention in order to showcase his brand of justice. This is nothing new, but the world we live in today is partly run by an “attention economy.” Tech companies are trying to play into the thoughts of internet users via social media, which can lead to disastrous outcomes. While Minoru’s plan involved Twitter to a certain degree, there’s a caveat.

It took him 2 full years to come up with something grand. The “attention economy” today wouldn’t allow that. Minoru manages to cut out noise and focus on himself and what was going on in real life. He fought off the forces of commercialized attention for his and everyone else’s sake. Someone once told me that social media can be a “disease” for people with mental health issues. It can be a huge distraction and sometimes leads you down into a dark hole that’s hard to get out pf. 

While I won’t argue that social media has some benefits in terms of finding communities to belong to, it’s also important to note that said communities should lead to more opportunities for offline meetups. Seeing faces and emotional reactions in person provides more warmth than a blue-lit screen. There’s nothing like that getting together in person to have fun or advocate for something important in your life.

Minoru’s cleverness suggests that it’s better to resist attention than ignore it completely (which never does any good). And that it’s also okay to pay attention up to a certain point. I think we have to ask ourselves “How does this information I found on the internet benefit me?,” “Why do I feel compelled to pay attention to this?,” “What does this say about me?,” etc.

Or just be able to grasp people’s attention on what matters to them (i.e. economic struggle) to improve their lives. Not everything has to be about you. One problem is more often than not, everyone’s problem.

I’m glad this one-shot came out. Back in 2008, I attended a Death Note fan event in my area and it really jump-started my interest in meeting new anime fans. The event was my first real taste into anime fandom. Although times have changed, checking out Death Note subtly played a part in starting my blog a couple of years later.

So I’ll say this - thanks, Ohba and Obata, for doing even more justice than your characters for a world that deserves compassion over fear in the face of all kinds of loss.

#Death Note #manga #psychology #mental health #Ryuk #idealism #dreams #Minoru Tanaka #psychology of attention

[forgenotes-archived]

part two of my meta meltdown begins NOW!

part one can be found here! 

last time, i talked about ronnie’s canon interactions with her parents, and how that points to a childhood of neglect. NOW, i’m gonna extrapolate on that data and fill out her experiences growing up; how her parents’ ideals imprinted on her, and how they essentially doomed her to never have an easy time being in a non-toxic relationship. 

tw for child abuse through neglect under the cut ! be safe .

THE PARENTS .

henry sawyer owns a telecommunications company; he didn’t start as a ceo, and in all reality, shouldn’t have ever become the chief executive officer. he quietly climbed the ladder by stepping on his colleagues, not making a huge scene of anything until he was close to being next in line for the job, when the sitting ceo was planning on retiring. henry couldn’t fathom the thought of defeat; he physically couldn’t think of not becoming the most powerful singular man in the company. 

he then decided that blackmail was the best way to tie up his opponents; he wasn’t even third in line to be considered, but he was close enough that if he could get the other candidates out of the way, he would be promoted. the knew enough around the office to know who was having an affair, who was insider trading, who was double crossing who. a couple of carefully placed emails, and fragile egos crumbled and resigned; citing “pressures of the changing industry” as the reasoning. thus, henry sawyer was promoted, and has remained the ceo ever since (now fifteen years of service, specifically due to his quiet manipulation of the board above him). 

barbara sawyer was the assistant to a big city architect; half secretary, half errand girl, always there to cater to his every need (yes, every need), before she retired. however, she had her own fair share of malicious takedowns, perhaps even more brutal than henry’s, because her adversaries often hadn’t done anything wrong to weaponize against them. 

a young graduate threatened barbara’s position; barbara couldn’t let that happen. during the day, while the office was cleared out for a meeting, she’d slipped important plans for a highly expensive project into the bag of the woman who had threatened her position. later during the day, there was a search- the plans were found, and the poor, innocent, framed woman was fired on the spot. 

henry and barbara sawyer grew up in circumstances as upper-society children to always expect the best- of the world, and of themselves. this perspective translated into how they’d raised their daughter as well; veronica was expected to excel even further than they had. 

THE CHILD .

as a child, veronica mostly absorbed the attributes of her parents from afar; they were so often working, leaving her with a babysitter that would change often, that she rarely had any time to spend with them specifically. but being a child, she wanted to be like her parents- and as she grew older, recognizing that she was being ignored, she realized she had a fork in the road. either she could act out to get their attention (bad is better than nothing), or she could try to be just like them so they would finally like her enough to spend free time with her. 

she decided to take the second route, mostly because she’d heard the fights that henry and barbara would have after coming home from work cocktail parties (one of them would be making eyes at a younger victim) and she definitely didn’t want to be on the receiving end of those shouting matches. veronica was lucky that she was born with a natural aptitude to excel in her studies, but even constantly being at the top of her class in every subject in every year didn’t seem to rouse them to pay much attention to her. 

once barbara retired, though, the dynamic shifted slightly- she began asking about veronica’s school more often, about her friends, and veronica believed she had finally grabbed the attention of her mother. however, she soon discovered that the questions were hollow; as barbara never absorbed any of the information she was told (a particularly perturbed ronnie once told her mother that she’d clawed out the principal’s eyes and the police were after her, granting nothing more than a “that’s nice, dear, now finish your homework”). the elation started to collapse, suffocating her, and turning her to grow into cynicism. 

in grade 6, she was analyzed and determined to be gifted by an exceptional margin- an iq of 162. of course, she didn’t know what this meant, but she hoped it was a high enough number to impress her parents- and briefly, it did. but the councillors who had administered the test suggested that they move her up to high school immediately, skipping two grades, maybe a third; it would be essentially useless to keep her in seventh and eighth grades, since she already firmly grasped concepts above the ones taught in those years. 

her parents became... uncomfortable with the idea. they said it was because they were worried about her socializing with people her own age, but even young veronica knew there was a secondary reason. a few years later, she would learn that they didn’t want to put in the effort to help her through such a huge change- “she’s fine working on her own like this, and it’ll be easy for her. if we move her up, she’s going to need a lot more help. are you prepared to take time off work to deal with all that? i didn’t think so, henry.” 

CONCLUSION .

with a history of her interactions established, veronica’s unhealthy traits absorbed by the little interaction she’s had with her parents can be summed up to:

1. an obsession with success, climbing the ladder, being the best at whatever it is she’s told to do. that success is the only thing that gives her value as a person; she believes her worth to be a collection of her talents and achievements, not her own personality and character. this causes her to get easily used for said credits, and removes her ability to create a sense of self. 

2. a lack of ability to show affection. due to not having contact with her parents in any deep, meaningful way (if at all), she did not learn at a young age how to care or be cared for in a healthy way that did not rely on her worth, as mentioned above. veronica is closed off, guarded, and cold at the exterior; she isn’t cruel, but she doesn’t know how to express emotions in a safe manner. 

3. a suspicion of anybody who can do either of the above, be it care for her in any manner, or befriend her without wanting something from her. 

these three inherited traits compound on top of her own, leaving her to become much more cynical and bitter as she grows older- and the worst decision she ever made in terms of solidifying these negative traits was ditching betty finn to befriend the heathers, but that will be in part three, god help me, i don’t know if ANY of this made any sense!! 

#a little shorter than the other one!! which is. SHOCKING #it's 1.2k but its again... still pretty rich with important points #by this point i'm almost at 3k words about how much her parents SUCK #but it's not gonna be about parents next time; it's gonna be about betty and the heathers specificallyyyyy #❝ - 𝙄𝙏 '𝙎 𝘼 𝙂𝙊𝙊𝘿 𝙆𝙄𝙉𝘿 𝙊𝙁 𝙎𝘼𝘿 . / meta. #❝ - 𝙉𝙊𝙏 𝙄𝙉𝙉𝙊𝘾𝙀𝙉𝘾𝙀 - 𝙋𝙊𝙒𝙀𝙍 . / isms.

[youtiaoshutiao]

go go squid! eps 1-30 - thoughts

i’ve actually read the novel for this a few years ago as a teen and it was just alright in my estimation, it was cute overall and a fun read but i largely forgot about it in the past few years. checked out the drama out of curiosity as to how they’d adapt it. have watched up to ep 30 at this point and i’d say i’m rather ambivalent (though i’m still pretty engaged) so here’s some rambling about my thoughts about my watch so far.

Ngl, the first 7 eps were unbearable to watch imo. I have a super low tolerance for secondhand embarrassment when watching movies and dramas (which is why i can’t get behind some high school movies/dramas) and it was uttermost torture watching tongnian stalk her way (very incompetently too, i must add) to k&k’s resting quarters, even getting his identity wrong (despite being fully capable of baidu searching him given that she knew his full name + found out he was part of a famous team), intending to go to watch him the next day but not even thinking about buying tickets till she was actually at the event venue and then being all righteous about not buying tickets from scalpers... Worrying about causing a misunderstanding among gun’s trainees yet continually getting near him and hence causing a misunderstanding anyway... Though i knew that it was part of her character setup (high iq genius but nil experience in love?) but i couldn’t bear to watch all this unfold haha. Coupled with the very draggy endless flashback scenes and all the testosterone-pumped angst about solo (and now 30 eps in i’m very into Li Xian’s turn as han shangyan but my eyebrows were hurting watching him furrow his brow 24/7) i was almost prepared to quit but was told that everything would get better around ep 8.

And lo and behold... it did. As predicted, around ep 8/9 a switch flipped and i began to be more engaged and enjoy the drama more. I was trying to pinpoint what exactly changed my opinion and i think above all, it was the character of han shangyan that really captivated/held my interest. I started seeing gun not just as the typical 霸道总裁 trope that’s just meant to be confident and commanding and therefore hot but more as a very complex and well fleshed out human (more so than the novel i think, but i can’t really remember at this point as it’s been years, and anyway the novel is a pretty short book while this drama is considered quite long for a modern fluffy cdrama thus allowing more room for exploration).

I really appreciated seeing all the dualities to his character, e.g. his god-like status in his industry and being the idol of thousands and thousands of youth yet seeing how this celebrity status does not translate to being estimated highly by the people around him, and how it does feed into his ideas and perception of himself to a certain extent, though he is also adamant on doing what he deems right, not caring what people think. How he as a leader of k&k appears unflappable, in control, and is determined, eyes fixed on the prize; yet his softness and care for his boys and the elderly he employs and his past teammates shine through in quiet moments and little actions. He has lofty dreams and big goals and aspirations for the future of his team, yet he is also a man bogged down by tons of emotional baggage, stuck in ruts of nostalgia and guilt and unprocessed anger about the past and unable to let go of past enmities or relations. Even his small little quirks amuse/intrigue me, like his sucking on sweets whenever he’s bothered, like his weird obsession with that one Beyond song and playing it whenever he’s Brooding about his past (though it’s probably just the drama’s way of shilling Netease Music lol)

Reading Han Shangyan’s personality/character arc as such, I found myself very invested in what was happening to him/what he was doing/his interactions with the other characters in the story. Even the flashback scenes and SP team scenes that I found very droll initially and still do to a certain extent now held more of my interest as a gateway to understand HSY more. He’s definitely not a perfect character and is deeply flawed, but I appreciated that they portrayed him in such a manner as he definitely felt more real. (though when it came to how this comes into play with regards to his r/ship with Tong Nian, I had rather mixed feelings about it, which I’ll elaborate on further below)

Similarly, I also enjoyed the fleshing out of side characters like Mi Shaofei, Solo, Su Cheng, Xiao Ai etc. Mi Shaofei’s arc especially was very moving and wistful to me, seeing him have his dream of being a champion rekindled at the start of the drama and going back to be a competitive CTF athlete, yet having his age and his lack of practice cause him to not be in top form and doing badly, and eventually making the decision to retire. Seeing him express regret having quit together with Han Shangyan back in the day in a pique of anger and not having this arc resolve in a neat, fulfilling way - I really appreciated it and thought it illuminated quite a sobering reality that timing and circumstances may not always yield the best outcome, that actions from the past that you thought were the right thing to do may come back to haunt you, that you may regret your past actions, that you may have to close the door on certain things even if you really want it. And I really like Mi Shaofei’s personality as well, seeing how he has a good read on his friends’ temperaments and personalities and knows how to diffuse tense situations (especially when Han Shangyan is being prickly and abrasive), how he values the collective above himself, like being happy that SP team scores improved greatly even when the improvement came about due to his retirement. I’m glad that he now has a new path which he can work towards his original dream of being a champion, albeit in a different way that he had initially envisioned.

The main thing niggling at me/making me feel conflicted as I watch the drama is actually Tong Nian’s character/Tong Nian and HSY’s relationship. I don’t really know how to explain what exactly bothers me so much about this, but here’s a shoddy attempt:

In comparison to how well fleshed out Han Shang Yan’s character arc is, Tong Nian’s arc sadly feels very underwhelming in comparison, and I wish similar character development was afforded to her character. 30 episodes in, I literally know nothing about her inner thoughts, motivations, character etc that is not Gun-related gushing. And this is all the more a pity given that her character’s setup was so cool - being so smart and intelligent, being so advanced in a STEM field, also having such a successful online career out of her singing hobby - all these hint at such an interesting female lead, but ultimately feels like an empty shell of a person. There really is no scene where she exists independently, separate from Gun or Gun-related thoughts pervading her mind - e.g. even when she is pitching some cool project idea showcasing her computing skills to the police department, she’s hung up on Gun after breaking up with him; when she’s invigilating a class she’s still thinking about him; she’s coding some new game for him; she’s doing some debugging... but that’s because she’s devastated after he behaved in a shit way towards her; she’s at some tryouts to be the singer for the ctf theme song! she’s showcasing her singing! but somehow... the show still managed to make it all about how she’s heartbroken over him; she uploaded a new song! ... but it’s about how she’s in love with him...

The show tells me she has a life outside of her crush on Gun, but it doesn’t show it as such. Though I also understand that this is due to the drama being centered on esports and hence involving HSY more, and Tong Nian is an outsider to the esports scene and thus her own activities would not be featured as much. It is possible that should they have chosen to feature more about Tong Nian, it might have affected the cohesiveness and pacing and how tight the plot is. But but but... she is the female lead, after all?? I literally know more about Mi Shaofei than about Tong Nian, and he is a supporting character! And precisely because the show did such a good job of fleshing out HSY, whose job and aspiration and passion and friendship-related angst etc lend a lot of fodder to shape his character and that is totally unrelated to his romance with Tong Nian, Tong Nian’s character development seems really lacking in gravitas in comparison.

This sense of imbalance spills over to my perception of them as a couple. I definitely am not opposed to or feel squicked out by huge age gaps in principle, as long as there isn’t some power imbalance and no teenagers are involved. But something about the combination of Tong Nian being all about Han Shangyan (at least that’s how the drama portrayed it, even if it was unintentional) while Tong Nian is only one part of Han Shangyan’s life + Tong Nian’s almost worshipful sentiments towards Han Shangyan + the show’s tendency to highlight how much sleep or time she sacrifices to do stuff for him, on top of the huge age gap made me slightly uncomfortable...?

I think I felt it especially during the plot arc of the second break up. The events of this arc were standard asian drama angst fare - interference from well meaning but biased parent leading to melodramatic wallowing in angst and mean behaviour attempting to drive the other party away... If purely viewing this arc from the lens of character exploration, I think the (rather ridiculous) events in that arc like HSY promising Tong Nian’s mother to not bother Tong Nian anymore and all his subsequent shitty behaviour towards Tong Nian shed some light on HSY’s inner self abasement and 自卑感 and was fascinating in that regard. But then seeing how Tong Nian who definitely puts him on a pedestal just internalised all of that horrible behaviour and accepted it and even kept on excusing his actions or asking him if she had done something wrong or if he was mad at her about the cat (though i also was mad that she just got a pet as a gift without asking beforehand lolol) or if he wanted her to do anything... that was SO painful to watch. (Until he implied that he cheated on her, thankfully she drew a line at that!!) I felt like it was bordering on cold violence to some extent? Not that any part of the second break up was Tong Nian’s fault, but just the way the show portrayed Gun’s way of pushing Tong Nian away and Tong Nian’s subsequent response made it harder to just dismiss the entire saga as just pure asian drama typical noble idiocy angst and left a really bad taste in my mouth. And above all what made me quite exasperated was how in the end, HSY didn’t even apologise to Tong Nian about it, and even attempted (and was successful) to get back into her good graces by listing all the reasons why he should be pitied and hence activating Tong Nian’s ‘Han Shangyan is so pitiful and I love him and want to give him everything’ mode, and being so smug about it??

(I feel like I come off as being rather inconsistent here lolol, earlier gushing about how much I love HSY’s character and now ranting about him. I think I just feel very confused about what to feel when watching the drama, and partially I think it’s because the entire romantic plot and all the events of the drama... require some suspension of belief and are not really very cohesive or well plotted, in the sense that it doesn’t seem to flow organically together with the characters’ emotions and responses? i.e. the character’s emotions/motivations/thoughts don’t correspond to their subsequent actions and the other characters’ subsequent responses to said action doesn’t seem proportional at times. So at certain plot points like how HSY got back together with Tong Nian so easily I’m not sure if I’m supposed to feel outraged or just take it in my stride?? I’m not sure if I’m making sense)

Oh, another thing that bothered me was this weird machoism (?? not sure how to explain it) that I sensed at some parts. An example off the top of my mind would be the entire sequence of HSY and Mi Shaofei going out together after Mi Shaofei announced his retirement, with Tong Nian and Yaya trailing at their heels. Once again, from a character development angle, I enjoyed the dialogues between MSF and HSY, between MSF and Yaya. But seeing MSF and HSY pass their coats to Yaya and Tong Nian then embarking on some bromantic tension-filled run together, while Yaya and Tong Nian are left hovering around waiting for them to return and holding their coats; or seeing MSF and HSY give each other Meaningful Looks and then downing a whole bowl of alcohol in some testosterone-fuelled display of Manly Sorrow and Solidarity as Tong Nian and Yaya watch from the sides, worried... Then having Tong Nian and Yaya each attempting to comfort their respective men... idk, i think coupled with the fact that the show is centred around esports, and most of the esports characters are male, and a larger proportion the main female characters we see are not directly involved and are more on the sidelines, it just gives off the sense of like, the men in this drama having their struggles, their aspirations, their sorrows be forefront and central in the plot, while the women are just there to fawn over them and support from the sidelines and tend to the guys’ emotional needs and baby them when they are being grown children. I’m definitely not explaining this well enough and I’m not sure if my impression is valid or I’m just being a hater or being subconsciously misogynistic and projecting or something lol. I’d love to hear what anyone thinks heh.

Thankfully, that part of the plot is over and now the romance part of the drama seems to be settled and the drama I’m assuming is gearing up towards winning the championships. This is promising haha because personally feel like the esports plotline is more captivating than the romance. I sense that now that Tong Nian/Gun are a properly established relationship and both are fully on board the dynamic might change a bit so I shall see how I feel about their relationship in the last quarter of the drama!

With regards to the cast, there was all round quite solid acting imo. I thought Li Xian seemed to be overdoing it with the frowning and grouchiness initially but I think it was alright after a few eps. His microexpressions and meaning-loaded gazes and quirked-lip-smiles are pretty affecting. I watched some interviews of him and he seems really different from Gun in real life so that’s quite impressive. Plus I love his slight slouchiness when portraying Gun in the more personal scenes where the facade of gruff boss!han shangyan disappears lolol. For all my problems with the way Tong Nian’s character was portrayed, Yang Zi does a great job in her role too. I think her crying scenes have always been on point and it was no different here. Special shoutout to the actors for Mi Shaofei, Solo and Xiao Ai, who portrayed their roles really well I think!

Lastly on a random note, I’m quite amused by how the soundtrack copiously borrows from the Suddenly This Summer soundtrack, but I’m not complaining because the OST is pretty evocative and whimsical and makes me hugely nostalgic for STS :)

#go go squid! #亲爱的热爱的 #cdramanet #li xian #yang zi #李现 #杨紫 #drama watching #this is so badly written i cannot english #but i hope it makes some sense and isn't gibberish

[heart-on-her-sleeve]

Character Development Questions -- Michael Scofield

Curious about Michael Scofield? He’s a deep character with a lot of layers that are begging to be explored. 

Questions based on this ask meme

What position does your character sleep in? ( i.e; stomach, side, back, etc. ) Describe why they do this — optional.

While in prison, Michael slept on his back or side - this was the least vulnerable position for him to sleep in

At home, Michael sleeps on his side or his stomach, as this is the most comfortable for him after being on guard 24/7 for so long.

Does your character have any noteworthy features? Freckles? Dimples? A scar somewhere unusual? etc.

Michael is missing two toes due to a prison incident, as well as having a large burn scar on his right shoulder blade. There are other scars that he received while in prison. (Stabbings, burns, etc)

Does your character have an accent? What does it sound like?

Michael has a general american accent, generalized around a Midwest accent. Says things like “outta” instead of “out of,” “gotta” rather than “got to/have to.” He also carries many of the typical Midwest slang and colloquialisms that are popular in the Great Lakes/Chicago area.

Do they have any verbal tics? Do they have trouble pronouncing certain words or getting their thoughts across clearly?

When there is a lot of emotion stirring within Michael, he can tend to have more outbursts. He can also be very quiet if he’s calculating something in specific detail. 

What are their chief tension areas?

Michael’s primary tension area is in his neck & hands.

If you were to pick one song — and only one song — to describe your character, what would it be and why?

“Save Me” - by Remy Zero

How does your character perceive themselves? Positive? Negative? Neutral?

Michael sees himself as an overall good person, but sometimes even the best people have to do bad or hurtful things to get where they need to be.

Are they a quick thinker or do they need time to sort through their thoughts?

Both. Michael was diagnosed with something known as low latent inhibition, meaning while one person sees a doorknob as a doorknob, Michael sees the doorknob for every single part, even the ones the naked eye cannot see.

He’s a quick thinker most of the time, but when the plan he had set doesn’t go exactly as he had planned and set up, he needs time to think and sort through things.

Does your character dream or are their nights filled with an empty blackness?

If he dreams, it’s usually a nightmare of some sort. Fox River changed him, causing more trauma on an already traumatized person. Usually the dream/nightmare consists of losing someone he loves while he is helpless and can’t do anything to aid them.

 Describe a dream they’ve had or a night they couldn’t sleep and what they did to preoccupy their time.

There were many sleepless nights while Michael was incarcerated. He spent them planning and re-planning the escape, making sure every minute detail was fully planned for. When the original plan backfired, he would pace his cell, trying to figure out a new plan.

After his nightmares, he can never fall back asleep, so he thinks about time with Lincoln and LJ before everything happened. He reminisces on the good memories they had together.

If they had a choice, would they prefer a subway or a bus for public transportation?

Train, because there is less stimuli for his LLI to get fixated on, and he can put some headphones on, pull a hat down over his eyes, and have some control of the stimuli.

What do they think of creation? Do they believe in evolution or do they believe in God? What is their religion like?

Michael is a Christian, but it’s not prominent in his life. While at Fox River, he attended chapel as a time to see his brother. He speaks about God occasionally, but isn’t really much of a church-goer or a man of prayer.

Describe 5 unusual characteristics your muse has.

Creative Genius, due to his low latent inhibition & high IQ

unflappable determination

taciturn

Stoic

teetering on the edge of psychosis

Have they ever been so overwhelmed they had to stop and take a break from something?

Sometimes the amount of incoming stimuli is too much, and Michael’s brain powers down for him, saving him from falling into complete psychosis.

Rarely, Michael notices that he’s overwhelmed and can take a step away from things and let himself cool down and be in a quiet place.

Are they a team player or do they prefer to be solo?

Michael has only known being on his own or with his brother. He prefers to go things alone, but when faced with certain situations, he can be a team player.

Being a team player is actually one of his faults, because he puts others before himself, making huge sacrifices to help others, and is often more concerned with other people’s welfare than his own.

Can they multi-task or must they focus on one subject at a time?

Yes. He can to do both, but if there is a lot of incoming stimuli (pretty much always), he must only focus on one thing at a time

What are their best school subjects? What are their worst? List five of each.

Best

Math

Physics

History

Architecture

Art

Worst

Science

Home Economics

Economics

Music

Gym

Is your character an introvert or an extrovert? How do they handle big crowds of people?

Introvert. Michael doesn’t do well in crowds, so he tries to stay close to the edge of larger crowds. During Rec time at Fox River, you could usually find him alone, somewhere along the perimeter of the fence. During block time in Gen Pop, Michael typically stayed in his cell unless he absolutely needed to talk to someone.

Are they a leader, do they prefer to follow, or would they rather just stay on the sidelines altogether?

Michael prefers to lead, because he knows if he doesn’t, shit won’t get done properly.

He also knows when to delegate tasks to other people and when it’s appropriate to sit on the sidelines and/or follow.

If your character was suddenly challenged, would they rather run away or stay and fight?

Depends on the situation, honestly. Michael feels a great deal of pain and suffering from those around him, and he has a severely low sense of self-worth, meaning he will let himself get beat to a pulp. The only time he fights back is when threats have been made to his family, or a family member or close friend is relying on him to stay alive.

If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would that person be and why?

Michael is not one to murder. The memories would haunt him and torture him for all of his life. I think even if he had the chance, he still wouldn’t take it.

Your character has been granted 3 wishes; what would they wish for and why?

Happiness and health for his friends & family

A relationship with his parents

(to be determined)

Does your character trust people right off the bat or does it take them some time to warm up to someone?

Michael trusts very few, especially when it comes to his safety and the safety of those he cares deeply about. He also can lead people to believe that he’s trustworthy, when in reality Michael can be pretty untrustworthy at times.

Do they prefer romance or affection? What is the quickest way to your character’s heart?

Michael has been touched starved nearly his entire life, so when he shows affection, it’s huge for him. The quickest way to his heart is through words of affirmation and positive physical touch. If a touch is unwanted, unwarranted, or unexpected, Michael will pull away.

Does your character have any enemies? If so, who and why?

Due to his time in prison and the connections he made (or lack thereof), Michael has racked up his fair share of enemies. Some in the Chicago Mob, some because he somehow wronged them while in prison.

Do they have any weird bedroom habits? Any unusual kinks?

How does your character prepare for bed? Do they sleep at all or can they stay awake for days on end without trouble?

Michael follows a usual routine when getting ready for bed. This routine helps him to have some semblance of control in his otherwise hectic life. The routine usually starts with brushing his teeth, washing his face, and changing into pajamas before crawling into bed and reading until he starts to feel drowsy. Then, inevitably, he puts his book away and is wide awake, tossing and turning for another hour or more with his racing thoughts before he actually falls asleep.

If your character had one thing to say to their parents before they died, what would it be?

Michael would hug his mom, and tell her how much he loves her. With his Dad he would just want to ensure him that he forgave him.

Are they afraid of death? Do they have any regrets?

Michael fears death just as much as the next person, but he also doesn’t care about it. I think he fears the pain before death more than death itself.

Does your character get restless when things are too quiet or do they favour solitude and silence? Why?

Michael longs for solitude & silence. When he’s surrounded by others, the voices, sounds, and movements can be too stimulating for him. If he’s in a group and leaves suddenly, he’s taking the steps to remove himself from the situation and stop himself from overstimulation.

Finally; if your character was forced to eat one thing for the rest of their life, what would they choose and why?

Honestly, as silly as it is, i think it would be cornbread. There’s something about the simple food that he enjoys so much. It’s sweet, but salty. 

#muse: michael scofield #abuse tw #violence tw #stabbing tw #ptsd tw #death tw #queue

[cxramel-cat]

Chapter 01 ◾ Chapter 02 ◾ Chapter 03 ◾ Chapter 04 ◾ Chapter 05  ◾ Chapter 06

Other Sites: Archive Of Our Own | Wattpad

( INJUSTICE: GOD AMONG US VERSE ) 「one minute     one life change     one decision     one action 」 ────────── ❝ Why? ❞

The question wavered through Kal's mind. He threw away the corpse he was holding. His attention settled on the boy who had witnessed his every action. His original plan was to kill the young Bruce Wayne from existing in the future. Joe Chill was making Kal's job easier. The man was going to do the dirty work for him.

He could change things back, to the way they were supposed to be. No deaths. No betrayal. No Batman.

Kal rarely slept. Most of the time, he only took short naps between his work hours. However, ever since Bruce had come into his life, Kal had been taking a proper eight hours worth of sleep every day.

Technically, a Kryptonian didn't need so many hours of rest. But Bruce had refused to sleep without Kal's company. Not to mention, the boy was a light sleeper and was easily awakened once he realized Kal might try to leave.

It took a lot of reassurance and vows to make sure Bruce slept in peace. Diana had seen the child's dependency on Kal as a nuisance. But the Kryptonian thought otherwise.

Every morning, Kal's mood brightened at the view of Bruce sleeping peacefully next to him. The image never failed to make him smile.

Those long lashes, rosy dimples and the way Bruce's chest rose whenever he breathed in— these things never failed to keep Kal entertained. He loved every minute he could spend laying on the bed and listening to the young human's steady heartbeats.

'Kal?'

Diana's sudden call on the intercom broke the peace for Kal.

'Kal, I know you can hear me.'

Diana called again when she received no response from Kal. This time, her tone was more serious.

Furrowing his brow, Kal slowly got out of the bed. His actions were gentle and slow. He didn't want to wake Bruce from his needed sleep.

"What is it, Diana?"

'We need you to come to Gotham. Now. We are outnumbered.'

The sudden chaos did not surprise Kal. He knew about Bruce's paranoid personality like the back of his hand. The man had probably assumed the worst possibility: Alfred being killed. If there was a way of snapping Batman's sanity, it was when threats were placed against his family-- especially Alfred. With an IQ of 192, the man would have no difficulty guessing the identity of the assailant who had kidnapped his butler. The damage left behind at his hideout and the surveillance camera which Kal did not destroy had definitely given a solid answer to Bruce, if not.

"I'll be right there."

Kal glanced over his shoulder. He did not want to leave Bruce alone. He understood how much the boy was scared of loneliness. He would definitely cry when he woke up without Kal's presence. The thought made the Kryptonian act quicker.

With his super speed, Kal dressed in his uniform and flew to Gotham instantly. Several members of the Insurgency were triggered and fell back at his mere appearance in the melee. The Dark Knight was the only one who had the guts to stand against him. Wasting no time, Batman immediately threw a punch at Kal. The attack was easily blocked downward by Kal's arm.

"I will only ask once," Batman glowered. "What have you done with Alfred?"

Kal could sense the anger the other man tried to hide beneath a cool tone. It entertained Kal to see the calmness on his foe's face slowly crumble down to pure rage.

"He's fine." Kal grabbed Batman by the other arm and swung him, tossing him against a nearby building. "But I can't vow to keep him safe if you continue to act out of control, Bats."

His heat vision burned the human's shoulder. Batman let out a pained grunt as he quickly rolled to hide behind the newly-broken concrete wall. Less than a second later, a few batarangs came flying out, in Kal's direction. He caught the weapons easily, with a sneer. He wasn't expecting one of them to be explosive and filled with Kryptonite.

Kal gagged as he inhaled the finely-ground green rock dust. The edges of his vision were going black. His body started to feel heavy; slowly, he staggered backwards.

' This is the chance. ' The crusader jumped out from his hideout and slammed his fist against Kal's jaw.

"Where is he?!" Batman glowered. His fist made another contact with Kal's face. Before the Kryptonian fell down, Batman grabbed his head with both of hands and headbutted him viciously.

Although the impact was painful, it didn't take long for Kal to recover. Before another punch could hit his face, Kal grabbed the human by his wrist and twisted his arm. There was the loud snapping sound of bone, which was followed by an agonized scream.

As he collapsed down under the pressure of Kal's grip, Batman was sure he would die this time. And he was right. Kal was at the edge of breaking his neck when a soft sniffle reached his super hearing.

Bruce.

He was awake. His heartbeat was speeding up.

He was panicking. He was scared.

'Kal...? Kal, where are you...?'

When he heard the sob, Kal tossed Batman aside dismissively. He flew, hit the wall across from Kal and crumpled to the street. Kal's eyes glowed red as he burned down the building above the human.

"Consider this a warning for yourself." Kal's voice was devoid of any emotion as he turned his back to the crumbling building. "If you decide to start chaos again, do not blame me for not showing any mercy."

He ignored the call from Diana, and flew back at the fastest pace he could manage without causing undue destruction. Once he was back, he rushed into his room. His suit was torn and bloody, but he didn't care about that at the moment.

Bruce was his top priority.

Upon opening the door, the sight almost broke his heart. Bruce sat on the bed with his eyes brimming with tears. His heart rabbitted in fear. His shoulders trembled in anticipation. At seeing him, the boy quickly climbed down from the bed and wrapped his arms around one of Kal's legs.

Bruce didn't stop his crying. Instead, he clung to Kal's leg in a tight grip.

Kal was surprised -- yet not entirely surprised -- at how the boy reacted. It took him a minute to snap out of his thoughts as he crouched down. His arms wrapped around Bruce, and Kal pats him on the back.

"It's okay. I'm here now. I won't be running away again. I promise."

 ★      

"What the hell is going on with you, Kal?!" Diana slammed her hands down on the surface of the office desk, anger in every movement. The Regime had suffered damages, their forces backed at a huge disadvantage due to Superman's sudden withdrawal from the battlefield. Losing their greatest trump card, there was nothing they could do aside from retreat. It was for the better-- they'd pulled ground troops out before losing more soldiers than they could afford, but the fight had cost them.

They'd been so close. For one victorious moment, Superman had held Batman at his mercy. With his Kryptonian strength, he could have crushed the Insurgency leader's human neck with ease. But he hadn't. Instead, Kal had thrown Batman against the nearest wall and disappeared.

It was enough to cause serious injuries. Those bruises might slow down the progress of the Insurgency. However, it hadn't been enough to promise the death of Batman.

"It is too early." Kal didn't bother to look up from his paperwork. "He has to suffer more than an instant death. I won't allow him to die in peace."

"It is more than enough," Diana growled. "You should have snapped his neck! Without Batman, we could have been done with the Insurgency!"

Kal didn't stir himself to reply. His silence only fueled her anger. She couldn't find any excuses for her lover's irresponsible actions. He was the hope of the Regime. He'd created this faction with his own hands. He'd wished for the peace which promised no deaths. He'd done all of this for Lois. But now he was retreating with the goal in clear sight.

What could have caused him to rethink his actions? Where did the anger he'd felt towards Batman go? It seemed as though he didn't hate Batman as much as he did before.

Suddenly, everything clicked.

"The boy." When the phrase rolled off of her tongue, she noticed how Kal's shoulders tensed. Despite his changes, some parts of Kal remained the same. Especially the way his body reacted honestly toward her words. "It is because of the boy. Isn't it?"

Once again, he kept his silence. His lack of reply caused her to doubt the promises he'd once made with her. "You're softening." She held his face in her hands. Her eyes stared into his. "This isn't you. This isn't how things are supposed to happen. This isn't what you promised. This isn't what you vowed in front of Lois's tomb!"

At the mention of his dead wife, Kal's eyes narrowed to a glare. "Your jealousy is showing, Diana."

Her eyes widened. "What?" She was taken aback by his sudden accusation.

"Your jealousy." He repeated the phrase, pulling her hands away from his face. "You envied the time I spent with Bruce. You could not get over the fact that I love Lois."

The two stared at each other. After a minute, Kal stood up from his seat and broke the tense silence.

"We talked about this, Diana." He stood in front of the window. A sigh left his lips. "Lois is irreplaceable. You know. And Bruce... he is not Batman. He is a human. A child who held no sins. I can change him. You saw how he's depended on me since the day I brought him here. He is nothing like Batman. He---"

"Kal," she interrupted him. Her weight pressed against his back. Her arms wrapped around his broad chest. "I know you loved Lois. You always will. She is an important person in your life. I accept it." She leaned her forehead against his shoulder. "But you must remember that Bruce is your enemy. He is Batman. If it's a child you wanted, you know we could still work it out..."

Her hand gently guided him to look at her. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Her lips tilted upward and kissed him He saw the emotions in her eyes.

 Warmth. Love. Hope.  

Diana loved him. She'd accepted the fact that he couldn't give the whole of his attention to her. She'd still stood next to him. She'd never have betrayed him as Batman has. She was there to guide him out of his depression.

Yet all of this didn't matter.

He didn't feel a thing. She couldn't give him the warmth he needed.

The kind of warmth Lois had given to him.

Lois had loved him with her eyes open. She'd accepted him as both Clark Kent and Superman. She'd embraced his flaws and understood— truly understood, that he wasn't a God. On the other hand, Diana loved him blindly. She saw him as Kal-El, Last son of Krypton. She expected him to be perfect.

Which he wasn't.

"Stop." He grabbed her by her shoulders. He pushed her away, a little too harshly. It hurt Diana further when disgust was showing on his face, so he let her see it, his disgust plain. "I can't. Not today. You're not Lois. I can't."

In the past, he would close his eyes. During his intimate moments with Diana, he would shut down his senses. He would try and imagine Diana as Lois. It never worked out well.

The Amazon has muscles like steel cord. Her flesh was rough where Lois was soft. Her skin tough where Lois was smooth. Not to mention, Lois had possessed tender and small breasts. Sensitive, responsive to him... They'd fit the size of his palms, sweetly. Diana's bosom was firmer and larger in size.

Lois had also smelled like sunshine and white lilies. He would always remember the perfume she'd loved to use. It was his gift for her during their first anniversary. Diana had tried to cover her own scent by using the same brand of perfume. However, the scent of iron, sand and steel in her skin could never be washed off completely.

It was hard, to imagine Lois in Diana. They were two different people.

Sometimes, he was desperate. He missed the warmth of having someone in his arms. He missed the existence of a companion sleeping next to him. He missed not-aloneness. Those were the only times he allowed himself to ignore the differences between Diana and Lois. The only times when he could. And today wasn't one of those days.

The morning after is the worst. He would always be awash in the guilt and shame of cheating on his wife. Lois was dead. But he'd never stopped loving her. Not even now.

He couldn't imagine himself starting a family with Diana. He would never treat the child as his own, never be able to. An offspring with the Amazon would only remind him of his dead wife. He would never forgive himself for his betrayal.

Bruce was more than enough. He didn't feel as though he was betraying Lois, when he was with the child. Kal knew that his wife would understand.

Bruce was an orphan. He was a helpless child who sought for the love he had lost. Kal was only giving the boy what he needed. If Lois were here, she would agree with his choice, agree that doing this is a good work. An honourable thing.

   ★        

Breathing was heavy. Bruce felt as though he were carrying a hundred pound weight behind himself. It took a lot of struggle, but after a minute or two, he managed to pull himself out from the batmobile. His right arm held on his left shoulder -- which held the most damage after being dislocated by Kal. From the pain he was feeling, he could only assume that Kal had broken more bones than he'd hoped. Bruce knew he'd also lost quite an amount of blood. His car was completely ruined by the tacky fluid which stained the seats.

It took a lot of his strength to walk towards the sick bay. However, before he could rummage through the shelves to find the medicines, his vision darkened. His body felt light as he collapsed on the floor. Before he was being pulled in by the darkness, he heard heavy footsteps approaching him.

"Bruce!"

   ★          

"Lois is pregnant."

He knew. The news had reached his ears earlier before Clark decided to tell him.

It happened unexpectedly. It was a cruel coincidence. He happened to be at Metropolis for a charity party he participated in annually. Bruce Wayne of Gotham normally didn't join programmes outside of Gotham. Due to Joker's sudden appearance in Metropolis, however, Bruce had decided to arrive in-city to make his job easier.

He was the owner of the Daily Planet. Upon arriving in Metropolis, there was no way he couldn't pay a visit to the company he'd purchased without upsetting his investors. It was there he'd seen Lois and heard her talking about her pregnancy with a few of her female co-workers.

How horrible for fate to crush his feelings. Again and again.

Bruce had smiled and congratulated Lois. However, it still hurt when Clark was the one to break the news to him.

Because it was Clark. He was happy. His joy was all written on his face.

Reality was a slap to Bruce's face... again. He knew he couldn't make Clark happy, not as Lois did.

His best friend wanted a family more than anyone. Bruce knew he wouldn't be able to give Clark what he wanted. What his best friend deserved.

Not to mention, this was Lois he was thinking about. The woman who'd shown Clark about humanity's goodness. She was the perfect example of what a human should be. She was strong and independent. Compassionate and dedicated to the truth. She had caught Clark's attention since the day they'd met.

She was his world. She was his everything.

Bruce on the other hand, was less human than what an ordinary human should be. No human should dress as a bat and beat up criminals in the night. No human should be as cold as Bruce, as closed-off as Bruce. In comparison to Lois, Bruce was barely human at all.

Clark needed a normal person in his life. It had always been his wish to live a life which was more 'human' like. Lois gave him a normal life. She allowed him to experience what it was like to love and to become a parent. She gave him the things he had hoped for since he was a child.

Bruce was satisfied just to stay by Clark's side as his close friend. He knew he couldn't be greedy. This was enough. More than he had hoped for. He should feel blessed.

"Congratulations." His words were simple. He managed to not let his emotions slip out from his mask. Clark didn't take notice. He was too blinded by all the great things which were happening around himself.

"Would you like to be the godfather of my child?"

The question was too sudden. Bruce didn't know how he should react without slipping from his disguise. His eyes were wide in surprise; he was taken aback by the request.

"Excuse me?"

"Lois and I both agree that you're a good friend. You have always been a support for us, Bruce. And you're good with kids. Look at your boys. You've guided them to grow into good adults."

What was supposed to be a compliment sounded more like an insult for Bruce. Especially after how he had actually failed one of his sons in life.

"So I was wondering... Would you like to be the godfather of my child?"

Bruce hesitated. Could he look at the child who would resemble the man he loved with all the harsh reality of how his happiness would never be Bruce's? Even if it was a request from Clark, no heart could take the burden of doing this for their unrequited love. Could he?

He was Batman. And Batman would always do the unbelievable.

"It would be my pleasure, Clark."

   ★

Bruce opened his eyes slowly. The curtains of his room were pulled apart, allowing the warm sunshine to sink into the room and blind his view. A wet towel was on his forehead. His wounds were cleaned and tended. He was also lying on his bed. The room had a strong scent of antiseptics and medicine, but aside from that -- nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

When he raised himself upright, he could see a basin of water on the desk.

He wondered who'd done this for him. Dragging his bruised body back to his room, treating his heavy wounds and taking care of him in his sleep. The strangest part was the odd wetness on his lips. Neutral. Water?

It seemed that someone had just fed him some fluids not long ago.

Alfred wasn't around. Who could it be?

"You're awake." He glanced to his left to look at his visitor. Selina Kyle was standing at the doorway, holding a tray of what seemed to be a bowl of porridge. The woman was dressed in her civilian clothes, and judging by the fact that only a few people knew about his hideout -- he could only predict that Selina was the one who had taken care of him since he'd passed out.

"Eat." The woman took her seat on the edge of the bed, her words an order. Bruce glanced down at the meal which Selina prepared. Outwardly, a simple porridge with a glass of water.

"You was down with hypothermia last night." Selina declared. "It scared me. For a while there, I thought your heart was going to stop beating. I panicked," she said, setting the tray on the mattress between them. "But I knew I had to get myself together. There was no one else around. I had to do what I should do instead of wailing like some helpless child."

He could see redness at the edges of the woman's eyes. Bruce couldn't imagine how panicked and feared Selina had to have been when she'd seen him in his earlier state, to be admitting it so calmly to his face. She was always strong and confident. He could never see any trails of weakness in her. However, he could see it today.

Her wall of pride was crumbling down as tears slowly trickled down her cheeks. She wiped them away, but they never stopped forming in her eyes.

"You don't understand..." she mumbled. Her voice was shaky. "You don't understand how bad your situation was. You don't understand how close you were to death's door. I know this happens to you every day, but when will you snap out of your obsession and realize that there are people who care?!"

His eyes widened in surprise, at seeing her green and saddening beautiful eyes shedding tears. Actual tears... over Bruce.

Selina immediately looked away. She didn't want him to see her current state. She wanted to stay as the perfect image of a strong woman in his heart. Her hand clenched once onto the thin blanket, then harder, firming its grip. However, her hand was also trembling along with her body.

She didn't speak another word. Her expression, combined with the tears flowing down her face, mirrored the tears Bruce had been locking in his heart. Seeing how she wanted to hold onto it, it couldn't get any sadder for him. He couldn't take it anymore. He'd had enough.

His arms encircled her, pulling her closer towards him. His lips touched her ear. She turned around, their faces only a few inches away. He was too close to her.

Bruce wiped the tears from her eyes. Selina had never looked this sad before. She was always filled with confidence and bright, devil-may-care attitude. Now, the brightness was dimly lit with deep sorrow. He wanted to ask, but he wasn't stupid, nor unobservant enough to not know what the reason of her pain was.

Slowly, he leaned his face closer to her until their lips met. Selina didn't put up any resistance. She was in a very fragile state, and it was a quick, gentle kiss of comfort. Neither of them spoke for long moments. He caressed her cheek gingerly, like she was a doll that he was afraid he might break. But then, tears started forming in her eyes again. She couldn't control it anymore, so neither did he. He turned her body around and pulled her to his chest, trying his best to shield her from what they both knew he couldn't. "I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you, Selina. I'm sorry."

Hearing his sincerity, the strong barrier she'd created within herself broke open. She decided to take a brave step. She tilted her face up to look at him. Her fingers reached out to caress his cheek.

"Bruce, can't you stop torturing yourself?" The tears were still glistening in her eyes. She was asking the question out of her concern -- her love -- for him.

She knew how torn he was. He had lost his best friend and his son. Now, he was also losing the only father he'd had in this world. All of this misfortune never stopped coming and it was starting to eat at him. Had been eating him away, for some time. He was breaking down and she feared he might lose his sanity. She could see it coming. She wanted to do something - as someone who had loved him. Who still loved him.

"Bruce... let's run away. Together. Leave it all behind, let it all go. We could lead a happy life. Just you and me." Her voice shook as she spoke, words tumbling out faster as his expression fell.. "No Insurgency. No Regime. No responsibilities. No worries. No pain. Just let the two of us enjoy peace for once in our lives. Just this once, Bruce--" She reached forward, trying to capture his lips for another kiss, for an agreement.

His head turned aside. No. "I can't." He pushed her away. "I can't, Selina. There is no chance for me to have peace. Not now. I swore to Clark that I would be the one to stop him if he ever took the wrong road. And I will not break that promise." He tugged lightly on the hair at the back of her head, trying to soften his words.

He had never gazed at her face for such a long time, never watched her so closely, to see the small features on her face. The eyebags she tried to cover with makeup could be seen, the redness in her eyes from all the tears and the tiny freckles. She could have a good future, unlike him. He couldn't drag her down more, into this never-ending pain of his life. "Please trust me, for the last time. I know what should be done." He tried to sound confident, but she knew he couldn't keep his promises. He never did. However, if this is the road he chose to walk, she would follow him. She would watch over him and protect him in the darkness just as he had done for Gotham in years past. She would stay, and support, bear witness and when it was all done, most likely bear him to his eternal rest. She cupped his hand, pressing it against her cheek to feel his warmth. The texture of his palm was rough -- the proof of his hard efforts down all these years.

He wasn't a complete man. He'd been broken since the day he lost his parents. He had always been trying to find the missing fragments in his life and he had never been able to find the final piece. She had hoped for years, that she could fill up the void in Bruce's heart. It's written on her face, in this quiet moment, how much she also knows she can't. How much it pains her to see. Even so, she would still love him for his everything. Even his flaws. "I trust you."

This was a lie— which both of them knew, but which neither wanted to admit to knowing. Especially not to each other.  

To be continued.  

AUTHOR NOTE: Forgive me for the extremely late update. :( University life had been very busy recently, but I finally managed to squeeze something out of my mind! :) Anyway, I planned to update more frequently!

#superbat #Superman x Batman #clark kent x bruce wayne #Fanfiction: Possession

[readingandreiding-blog]

Three days later

[Summary: Reid and reader are at a crossroads in their relationship, and have a huge fight. After some angst, fluff ensues.

AN: This is my first proper piece of fan fic. Do leave feedback. @reiding-and-writing, I hope you read this. <3 

“I don’t know why the hell I even try with you anymore.”

“You don’t mean that, Spencer. Where did that even come from?”

“Well, news flash, Y/N. That’s all I've been thinking of, since the last time I asked you to marry me. I’m not surprised you haven’t noticed. Just like how you fail to notice my heart breaking a little each time I bring up marriage and you shoot it down!”, Spencer wheezes a little as he finishes his rant. 

His words feel like they’re being carved into your skin. What began as a small disagreement had now blown into an argument you had no come back to. 

He has a point, you admit to yourself. Why did he have to hang around? Every time he brought up the topic of marriage, you refused. You told him you did not believe in the institution. You had seen your parents’ marriage crumble, had been the collateral damage to the battles they waged inside your broken family. You were certain marriages were destined to doom. 

“Well, do you have nothing to say?!”, Spencer’s voice shakes you out of your stupor. 

You open your mouth to respond, and realize telling him how much you loved him would not cut it. He had been through a lot last year, and with Diana’s situation worsening every day, he was constantly on edge. 

The phone rang suddenly, scaring you for a second, and distracting Spencer from his anger and resentment. He takes a deep breath and answers the phone, and you gather that there is a case somewhere. He finishes his call, and looks at you. 

“Just in time, eh, Y/N? Saved by the bell, quite literally. Well, you know what, you don’t have to respond right now. I doubt you even have a response. I will be gone for at least three days, so how about you think long and hard about this? When I come back, do let me know what you want to do with ‘us’. Whether you even really want an ‘us’, anymore.” 

He turns and walks into your bedroom, to gather his things, leaving you to your gloom. 

As he walks out of the apartment, you call out to him. “Spence. I love you.” 

He must have heard the urgency in your voice, as he turns and faces you. “I love you too, Y/N. I do. But I am tired, and I don’t want to go on like this. I’ll see you soon.”

He shuts the door gently, and the kindness in that gesture makes your heart ache. You walk into your room, feeling certain that it was now or never. The truth is, you had noticed Spencer’s pain. You had noticed the loneliness he was carrying with himself. You would go to any end, pay any price, to change it. And you knew what you had to do.

You had to put your plan into motion. You grab a change of clothes, your phone charger, car keys, and wallet, and walk out of the home you shared with Spencer.

Three days later. 

As he walks into the apartment he shared with Y/N, Spencer senses something is awry. It was too quiet, too dark. “Y/N, are you home?,” he calls out. 

Even as he asks, he knows no one is home. Spencer feels a sense of worry trickle through his body, as the events that took place three days ago flash into his mind. . 

Fear sits heavy at the bottom of his stomach as he dials Y/N’s number. Where was she? Normally she would have been home by this hour. He notices her overnight bag is gone. She wouldn’t skip a work day without good reason. 

“Hello, this is Y/N L/N, and I cannot come to the phone right now. Please leave a message, and I will call you back when I can. Thank you!” 

Y/N’s chirpy voicemail greeting sends a fresh jolt of guilt through him. 

“Y/N, I just got back from the case. Please call me as soon as you get this? I’m sorry we left things that way on Friday. Please, just call me? I love you.” 

Spencer ends the call, wondering whether he should call Y/N’s work place or Garcia. Garcia was one of her closest friends, and she would have spoken to Y/N over the weekend. Even if she hadn’t, she probably would help him track Y/N’s phone. 

Garcia picked up on the second ring, like she had known he would call. 

“Garcia! Have you spoken to Y/N?” 

“Oh hello to you too, pretty boy. Why are you asking me about Y/N?”

“Well...”, Spence stuttered a little, “.. we might have had a fight on Friday evening, just before we were called on to the case.”

“Uh huh. And?”

“And, erm.. I might have said some things I didn’t exactly mean. Well things I wanted to talk to her about anyway, but I shouldn’t have done so in an angry outburst.The point is, she isn’t home, she isn’t picking up her phone, and I haven’t spoken to her in the last three days. Her bag is missing, and it doesn’t look like anybody’s been home for the last few days..” He was beginning to ramble.

“"Ooookaay boy wonder. I hear you. Listen, I might have an idea of where she might be. But I cannot tell you. It is something you need to hear from her.”

Spencer grips the phone tight as he processes what Penelope just said. “You know where she is? Is she okay? Pen, ask her to come home. Or pick up the phone.”

“Spencer, you need to trust me, and you need to trust Y/N. She should be back home today. Talk to her yourself, alright?” 

You had gotten home late at night, and found Spence asleep in your bed. You quietly retreat to the kitchen.

You had picked up food from your favourite diner, their cherry pie being a weakness of Spencer’s. You were setting the table for dinner, like most nights you spent with him.

“Y/N, you’re home.” Looking up from the table, you spot Spencer watching you. The clattering noises must have woken him up.

“Hey genius. Stating the obvious now?” you smile, walking towards him. Spencer closes the distance between you, enveloping you in an embrace. You bury your face in his chest, arms tight around his waist.

“Y/N, I’m..”, Spence’s voice cracked with emotion. “Shhh. I know, darling. I know.” 

You lift your head up to look into his eyes, still in his arms. “I know what you said, and why you said those things. I have seen and felt your pain these past few months, so trust me, Spence, I know. But, sit down. We need to talk.”

“Y/N,” Spence calls, terrified. “Don’t leave me.” 

You can’t help but chuckle, as you lead him to a chair. He places you in his lap, and you stroke his cheek. 

“Spence. I meant it when I said I have been seeing your pain. But it took me a while to understand what could give you some respite. I hope you’ll forgive me for that.” 

His response was a fervent kiss. God, you had missed this. Fools indeed, for thinking you could live without each other.

“Y/N. When I came back to an empty apartment, I thought my anger had cost me our love. Can I ask, where were you? B-b-but, if you don’t want to tell me, I understand. Garcia assured me you were okay, and that’s all that matters.” He fell into his normal ramble, making you chuckle again. 

“Spence. I had to go to Boston.”

“Boston? Why? What is in Boston?” 

“Blake.”

“Blake?”

“Alex Blake.”

“Alex Blake?!”

“Spencer, are you really going to repeat everything I say?”

“Why did you have to go meet Blake?”

“To seek her blessings.”

“To seek her blessings?”

“Spencer, you’re repeating what I’m saying. Again. And yes. I had to go to Boston. To seek her blessings. So that I could do THIS.” With that, you got up from a shocked Spencer’s lap, and got down on one knee in front of him.

“DO WHAT?!”

“Spencer Walter Reid,” you say as you open a ring box. “With the blessings from all your family members, I finally get to ask you this. Will you give me the joy and honor of being your wife?” 

For once, Spencer was at a loss for words. Then, he managed to squeak. “Blessings from my family?”

You raise your eyebrows, as you realize you were going to have to ease him into this. 

“Yes, Spencer. Your family. Diana gave me her blessings without even having to ask for them. I began asking the rest of your family about two months ago. Derek hugged me and told me to make pretty ricky the happiest man alive. Rossi twirled me around his living room floor, all the while saying happy sounding things in Italian. He could’ve been talking about spaghetti for all I know, but I still take it we have his blessings. JJ said she couldn’t be happier, Will said a quick toast. Henry said he would wear his new tux to our wedding, and Michael drooled on me. I think that was his way of blessing us. Emily was sweet and gentle, and said it was about time. Penelope squealed for two minutes straight, then brought out a bedazzled wedding planning book. Luke clapped me on the back and said he would DJ at our wedding. God, I love that man, but I do not trust his choice of music. Tara told me and I quote, “Go get him girl!”. That left Blake.”

“You drove to Boston to ask Blake for what, my hand in marriage?!”

“Jeez Spence, an IQ of 187 and you still cannot wrap your head around this? Yes. I drove to Boston. Big whoop. If I was indeed doing this, I had to do things the right way now, didn’t I? She sends her love and blessings, by the way.”

“You asked Henry and Michael?!”

“Spencer. I was going to ask their godfather to marry me. Of course I needed their blessings.”

Spencer stayed silent, beginning to worry you.

“Spence, you still haven’t said anything. And don’t mind me, I am just standing here on one knee, no big deal.” You try to joke, but you worry if it was too late. 

Spence gently lifts you back up to his lap, holds you close and whispers, “If I said yes, do you promise to steal and hide Penelope’s bedazzled wedding book? It scares me a lot more than Luke’s music choice.” 

You giggle against his neck as you say, “Yes, Spencer. I will be your partner in that crime, and for every thing that follows.”

“It’s a yes, future Mrs.Reid. I will be your lawfully wedded husband forever.” He seals his promise with a passionate kiss. 

As you both emerge for breath, he asks, “Is that cherry pie I’m smelling?” 

“Yes. If you had said no to my proposal, I had plans to soak it in my tears and eat it by myself. But I guess we will share now?”

He smiles as he gets up to get the pie. He bends down and kisses your forehead, whispering afterwards, “Yes. Forever.” 

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #reid x reader #spencer reid imagines #fluff #spencer reid fic

[theartificialdane]

Galactica, 232

In this Courtney gets throw to the wolfs, Fame has a meeting, Betty is annoyed and Raven hangs out.

Thank you @veronicasanders @toriibelledarling @samrull  ❤️

“Courtney, hi, nice to see you again,” said Jane, the dark-haired Bravo producer, climbing down from the production trailer.

“Hi, Jane.”

“Come over here, I want to introduce you to Dorinda. So the setup here is that you two already know each other, and she’s introducing you to Ramona and Bethenny. Got it?”

“Right. Does it matter that I’ve never met Dorinda?”

“No.”

“Okay,” Courtney said, as Jane waved an older blonde woman over to them.

“Dorinda! Come here, this is Courtney.”

“Hi, nice to meet you.”

“Courtney! How lovely to meet you, dear. You’re even prettier than your pictures.” Dorinda smiled warmly, giving Courtney a loving embrace.

Courtney’s shoulder’s sagged with relief. This was the woman that Raven described as an hysterical whack-nut? Of course, Raven did say that she seemed normal sober, so Courtney decided to reserve judgement.

“I’ve watched your girlfriend’s incredible rise in the fashion industry over the years; I’m a huge fan. We must have a couples dinner soon!” Dorinda winked at Jane.

“Save it for the camera,” Jane said flatly, then followed up with, “Dorinda, you go into the restaurant first, greet Bethenny, and then I’ll send Courtney in after a few minutes. Ramona’s running late.

“What else is new?” Dorinda laughed. “See you inside, Courtney.”

Courtney was the most nervous about meeting Bethenny. Raven had made her absolutely terrified about getting on the quick-witted brunette mogul’s bad side. “She doesn’t suffer fools,” Raven warned, and Courtney was self-aware enough to know that even on her best day, she could come off, let’s just say flighty. But there was also the “don’t be fake because she’ll see right through you” warning, so she was loathe to try and act differently. It was just a total mindfuck. Her heart beat fast as the barracuda in heels walked through the door, exchanging a brief greeting with Dorinda, before turning to her.

“So, you’re the one fucking Bianca Del Rio. She’s always had very questionable taste, hope you’re not retarded. Do you like burrata?”

In spite of her nerves, Courtney burst out laughing. “I haven’t had an IQ test recently, so you’ll have to tell me…and I’m a vegan.”

Bethenny grinned. “Okay, I can hang with that.”

Dorinda continued the ruse of pretending that she and Courtney were old friends. “You know Bethenny, Courtney just had an album come out, it’s wonderful–”

“Yeah, totes your type of music, right Dorin?” She rolled her eyes at Courtney. “You’re the same age as her daughter.”

“I think I’ve hung out with Hannah before,” Courtney admitted, giggling.

“Of course you have. She’s your girlfriend’s type, too.” Bethenny turned to the waiter and ordered a drink, then a round of appetizers, throwing in a few vegan selections for Courtney, just as Ramona breezed in, a whirlwind of perfume, a fresh blowout, fake tits and long fake lashes. Just the epitome of cougar but in the most endearing way possible.

“By the way,” Ramona said, as if they’d all been in the middle of a conversation already, “Luann is going to DIE when she hears your album. She’s gonna be so jealous. Hi, I’m Ramona…”

“By the way? That’s how you introduce yourself? What is wrong with you?” Bethenny barked. “Can you be a normal person, like, ever?” She broke down laughing. “By the way…Who walks into a room like that??”

“Sorry!” Ramona tossed her hair over her shoulder and batted her eyelashes coyly.

“I thought it was a grand entrance,” Courtney winked.

“Thank you! You’re my favorite.” Ramona petted Courtney’s hair, repeating to Bethenny, “She’s my favorite.”

“Don’t fucking encourage her,” Bethenny told Courtney, still laughing. “By the way…”

Courtney found herself relaxing, despite Raven’s many warnings. Maybe these UES ladies weren’t going to be so bad after all. She sipped her Skinnygirl cosmo. Plus, an excuse for daydrinking during the week was always nice…

***

Violet sat in the sitting area, watching Roxy typing away at her old workstation, a flurry of mixed emotions assaulting her senses. She’d come for a quick meeting with Miss Fame, what she’d hoped when she set it a few days back would be a positive update. Her stomach was now tied up in knots, knowing that what she had to say might just not be met with the glowing approval she so desperately sought from her mentor and boss, and yet, unable to be anything but forthright. It was her artistic integrity that was at stake, after all.

“Roxy! Where’s my coffee?!”

Roxy stood up, Fame’s typical order in her hands, and raced into her office. “Here you are, miss. I didn’t want to interrupt your phone call. Also, Violet is waiting for–”

“This is cold, Roxy. It’s literal garbage. Do I look like a person who drinks garbage?”

“N-no, miss…”

“Get me a new one immediately and send Violet in.”

Roxy exited, a grimace on her face, and shrugged, gesturing for Violet to go ahead. Violet took a deep breath. So it was one of /those/ mornings. She could do this though. She had been Fame’s assistant, she knew Fame, knew what made her tick, and as long as she was careful there was a chance she could survive. Violet walked into the room, not making eye contact with her boss until the lady in question had sat down, Fame practically radiating annoyance.

“So what do you want?”

“The Marie Claire spread miss-”

“Go ahead. Everything is well I assume?”

“Yes. Bianca and Miss Garcia had some notes, but with the help of tailoring I can have it done within the new deadline of next week.”

“Good. The shoot is important for us so get it done.”

“Yes miss.”

Fame looked away, and Violet knew she had been dismissed, but she couldn’t leave yet, she still had something she had to discuss with her boss.

“Is there something else Violet? I don’t have all day for your nonsense.”

“Actually there is, miss.”

“Aha?” Violet could practically feel Fame lose interest, Fame already tapping away on her computer.

“I’m very grateful for the opportunity, but I think Galactica should take full credit for the work that will appear in the magazine.”

“… And why is that may I ask?”

“I think the creative vision of the photographer and Marie Claire’s design department isn’t very suited for my work as an independent designer.”

Fame stared at her for a few moments, still as a statue, unblinking. She rose slowly to her feet and then walked to the door, closing it gently, then turned and walked back to her desk, sitting down slowly. “Did you, by any chance, express these concerns over the creative to anyone at Marie Claire?”

“No miss.”

“So…you’re not a complete imbecile. That’s good.” Fame smiled, but her eyes were blazing with fury.

Violet’s blood went cold.

“I want to make something very, very clear to you. This editorial happened because I called one of my best friends, one of my oldest friends, one of the most powerful, respected women in this industry, and asked her for a favor. For you. Do you understand the enormity of what that means? That I asked Bianca Del Rio for a favor?”

Violet nodded slowly. Asked Bianca Del Rio for a favor? She had never heard that before. Was this spread a favor? And if it was a favor, who was it a favor for?

“Let me tell you what is required of you right now. You will modify those garments to their EXACT specifications and you will make sure that every single piece is STUNNING. You will put your heart and your soul into it as if they are the last dresses you will ever make. And on set, you will be pleasant and grateful and flexible and if anyone at Marie Claire…an assistant, a makeup artist, a janitor, a SINGLE person, catches wind that you are not utterly, utterly thrilled to be there…” Fame paused, took a deep breath, folding her hands together. “…if there is even a snowball’s chance in hell that this nonsense opinion about the creative gets back to Bianca, I will end…your…life…”

Violet looked at Fame, the others threats as familiar to her as the back of her hand. Fame had shouted at her, threatened her and mistreated her more times than she could possibly count so she kept her mind shut and nodded, knowing not to antagonize Fame when she was like this, or even worse, ask questions.

“Yes miss.”

“Good.” Fame sat down. “That’s all.”

Violet bit her lip and got up. “Thank you for your time.” Violet left the office, her mind racing,

***

“Betty, I’m not criticizing you, but have you considere-”

“No.”

“I’m just saying that I’m pretty sure they included the instructions for a reaso-”

“Fiiiiine!” Betty turned around and grabbed the instructions, her insides seeping. She had no idea how she had ended up here, on the floor of her apartment, with Sutan fucking Amrull of all people in the entire world. Her and Shane had, accidentally, killed their bed over the weekend during a round of particularly rough sex after a fight about the dishes. Betty had technically been the one to kill the bed, so she had somehow ended up with the responsibility of fixing the problem, even though she had complained endlessly about the inherent unfairness of the situation. The only light point in her miserable life right now was that Violet and Shane were out getting pizza while she was here, slaving away with Sutan, who had turned out to be the only adult with a car her and Shane apparently knew.

“Can you hand me the hammer?”

“Grab it yourself.” Betty ignored Sutan, her eyes going over the instructions.

“Hey Betty?”

“Sutan, I’m trying to read this stupi-” A tattooed hand appeared, gently pulling the pamphlet down, forcing Betty to look at the man who was sitting on the floor with her.

“Let’s make a deal.”

“I don’t dance with the devil.”

Sutan laughed, and Betty chewed her lips.

God the man was so annoying. She knew he probably didn’t try to be, but whenever she looked at Violet at work, and how stressed out her friend was, hunched over her table, desperately fighting to get everything done, the annoyance came up again. Betty knew it wasn’t fair that she was expecting Sutan to fix her friend, but she had never been a fan of fair. Violet had come down from her meeting with Fame two days before, her face an almost ashy grey. Betty would have asked, but whenever they were finally alone or had time, something always came up, either Ivan screaming or Shane needing her or one of their annoying coworkers asking for help.

“How about I do this, and you watch TV in the livingroom?”

Betty looked at Sutan, not really believing what she was hearing. “You’re offering to do all of this work on your own?”

“Yes.”

“And what’s in it for you?”

“I don’t have to look at you obviously hating both this and me.”

Betty pretended she was considering it, but she had truly never been one to look a gifthorse in the mouth, and if she could get out of spending time alone with Sutan, she would be dumb not to take it.

“Deal.”

***

“They were NICE?” Raven asked in disbelief, wrinkling her nose at Courtney, as they rode the elevator up to the penthouse.

“I mean…yeah…you know…not like…precious angels…but…”

“They’re setting you up. Watch your back.” Raven shook her head.

“Maybe,” Courtney said thoughtfully. “I mean Bethenny was like, snarky. And there was some tension between her and Dorinda at one point, when she made some comments about Dorinda being drunk in the Hamptons all summer.”

“Just drunk? Dorinda is usually high as fuck in the Hamptons.”

“Well, Dorinda seemed a little pissed. And of course Bethenny was teasing Ramona the whole time, but it all seemed pretty good natured. They talked a lot of shit about Luann.”

Raven nodded. “The Countess must be the villain this season.”

“And they talked about Sonja’s drinking a lot. Which was funny because they all had like, 6 drinks. At noon on a Wednesday.”

“Yeah, welcome to the Upper East Side.”

The elevator doors opened and one of the Bravo producers grabbed both of them, giving them a quick rundown while a sound guy strapped on their microphone packs. “Okay hurry up, go inside and ask what’s going on, try to help the situation.”

“Help? What situation?”

“GO! GO!” he gave them a shove through the double doors.

What greeted them was a pudgy, red faced man screaming at Bethenny, ranting about brand names and copyrights.

“Jesus,” Raven muttered. “I thought this was a lingerie party.”

“I’m supposed to try and help?” Courtney asked, looking at her with fear.

“Hell no. That’s a little twat producer trying to manipulate you,” Raven said. “Yes, you heard me,” she repeated into her mic.

Courtney hung back for a few more moments, until the man stormed past her, then walked forward. “Uhhh…hi…what was that?”

“That was Dorinda’s jackass boyfriend John.”

Dorinda started to open her mouth, but Bethenny held up her hand.

“Don’t even try to defend him, Dorinda. He was an absolute fucking asshole. Totally out of line.”

“Well, you started with–”

“I did NOT–”

Sonja sighed. “Can we just try on some bras, please? And can I have another drink? I’m like…totally stressed out after that whole thing.” The blonde hung on Dorinda’s arm, pouting, shimmying her shoulders. She didn’t appear to be much drunker than the others, Courtney noted, despite her alleged alcoholism.

“Oh my god, yes, thank you!” said Carole.

“Girls, hello, we have newcomers, how about some introductions?” Luann said grandly, folding her hands. The tall, striking brunette’s air of stately elegance was slightly ruined by Bethenny’s dismissive attitude.

“Yes, yes, the Countess needs some formal intros. Countess Luann de Lesseps, this is Ms. Courtney Act of Manhattan by way of Australia. Courtney, please curtsy and kiss her ring, and then she’ll inspect your teeth,” Bethenny said, falling over laughing.

“Really, Bethenny,” said Luann, shaking her head, “Nice to meet you, Courtney. Hi again, Raven.” Luann tried to recover some dignity.

Raven exchanged air kisses with Luann and went to sit with Sonja, who excitedly started to chat with her about a Swiss chalet she was allegedly thinking about purchasing.

“Courtney, hi, I’m Carole. I think we once took a hot yoga class together.” Carole stood up to greet her. Courtney accepted the hug, remembering that she was the chill one in the group, the former reporter and literal princess who, unlike the uptight Countess, didn’t use her title.

“Really?”

“Well, you took the class. I sat in the back and meditated and did like three moves. I’m not a big exerciser but I try…sometimes.” Carole laughed, tossing her long, light brown hair over her shoulder.

“BRAS!” Ramona bellowed, and then clapped a hand over her mouth.

“Okay, Tourette’s,” said Bethenny.

“Sorry,” Ramona said. “I’m just excited. I never get new bras.”

“Ramona, is this the first new bra you’re getting since your boobs mysteriously got 2 cup sizes bigger?” Carole asked sweetly.

Sonja howled with laughter. “Ramona claims she didn’t get her tits done!” she explained to Raven and Courtney.

“Ramona and I have always had a lot in common,” Raven said, winking at the older blonde woman.

Dorinda slapped her hands together. “Okay, everyone grab a bra! Let’s try on some lingerie!”

“THIS is why I’m here,” said Raven. She browsed through the rack, finding a few that she liked.

“Raven, I might need your help, here. I don’t wear a lot of undergarments,” Courtney admitted.

“You’re such trash.” Raven shook her head.

“Well, I feel like they’re so constricting. I really only wear them for sex.”

“Same!” Carole laughed.

Raven laughed. “That’s my girl. Here’s one for you. B likes red and it’s very naughty and hooker-ish.”

“Oh yeah!” Courtney said, taking the red lacy bustier from her hands. She pulled off her shirt.

“Um, dear, there are privacy screens over there,” Luann said, clucking disapprovingly.

“Calm down, Luann. If you looked like her, you’d have your tits out all the time,” Bethenny said.

“I do look like her, thank you very much.”

“Ha! Maybe 30 years ago…”

“Your nipples are tiny,” said Sonja, face alarmingly close to Courtney’s boobs. “Were my nipples that tiny before I breast fed?” she asked Ramona.

Ramona shook her head, giggling. “No.”

“Really, ladies?” Luann shook her head.

“Luann, have another drink. We like you better when you’re not doing this tiresome Countess shit,” said Bethenny.

“If you say so,” Carole snickered, the two of them laughing quietly.

Raven exchanged a pointed look with Courtney. “I told you she’s the villain,” she muttered. “Make sure to align yourself with the others. I still think Carole is your best bet.”

“Sir, yes sir,” Courtney responded, saluting.

***

BIANCA: You home?

FAME: Yeah.

BIANCA: How do you feel about drinking a few bottles of wine with me? Courtney’s doing a housewives thing and I’m going stir crazy.

FAME: Door’s open. Xx

“Wow, I really didn’t think you literally weren’t gonna get up,” Bianca laughed, moving Fame’s feet aside to sit down on the sofa.

Fame lifted her head, sighing, taking the glass of wine Bianca held out to her. “It was a long week.”

“I hear you. Cheers.” Bianca toasted her and then reached over to scratch Charles behind the ears.

“Uggghh, why is everyone fucking AWFUL?”

Bianca laughed. “Good question! So…speaking of which…I have a question for you…don’t hate me…”

Fame narrowed her eyes. “/What?/”

“Okay, so, you know, I’m going through this whole fucking situation with Nina. And she’s been really fighting me on the Violet spread. For some reason. And she’s got it in her head that the gowns are too fussy, and you know how her favorite fucking word is ‘overworked,’ and you know I actually am a huge fan of Violet’s work, but even I have to admit that this is not her best stuff. I think that she just probably needed more time, to be honest, so…”

“Get to the point, Bianca.”

“Well, I’m wondering if you have any other designers that you’d like to feature also, who do kind of edgier pieces that we could mix in. Like that split the difference between Violet’s style and ready to wear? More like afterparty type stuff? You know? This isn’t anything against Violet, I think she’s insanely talented, but we’re just working with shifting deadlines and a different creative vision from where we began–”

“B. Stop talking.”

“Drink more so you don’t hate me.”

“I already don’t hate you. Actually, I have the perfect designer for you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, April Carrion. Tell me what you need, I’ll have her start this weekend.”

“Wait, the cute Puerto Rican girl?”

“Yeah.”

Oh, /perfect./ This is great. Nina has been up in arms about the lack of diversity at the magazine, and even Courtney is siding with her, so my goal now is to hire so many people of color that they CHOKE ON IT.”

Fame started laughing. “Only you would turn a diversity initiative into revenge.”

“Well…whatever. I’m not racist. It’s a bunch of bullshit.”

“Did you remind them that I’m half Mexican?”

“Fuck! I always forget about that!”

Fame giggled, sipping her wine. “You’ve literally met my abuela like 4 times.”

“I know, I know, but she’s like, so sweet and warm and you’re so uptight and bougie and I think in my mind I just imagined she was your nanny.”

“Bianca. That’s super racist.”

“Shut up.”

“Anyway, I’m gonna email April and she’ll show you some sketches Sunday, and some samples…Tuesday morning? Does that work?”

“Sure. Shoot’s Friday.”

“Perfect.”

“What about Violet? She gonna be cool sharing the credit?”

“Just make the credit Galactica.”

“Uhhh…are you sure?”

“Yes. Don’t worry about her.”

#galactica #au aag verse #rpdr fanfiction #my fics