#guess where im going again in fixations | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

Note

WIBTA for telling someone i can't be friends with them and returning a gift?

buckle up gamers, this is gonna be a long one. so i (22nb but i present fem) was out at the bars the other night just kinda hanging out, and a girl (26f) came up and started talking to me. she didnt really seem...super present i guess? and i talked to her to be nice and she had a cool outfit on. well i was a little drunk and ended up giving her my phone number and meeting her husband (39m) and they walked me home. the whole time she was talking about how she doesn't have any friends and her ex friends just wanted to get with her husband. she told me she was bi and i was like hey me too but im not interested in sex so that was cool. she ended up walking me home w her husband bc it was late which was nice, but they seemed really shocked i lived in such a nice apartment(i do, its expensive but my parents pay for it. im really privileged to be able to do that).

i saw her again today because she kept texting me about wanting to hang out, so i went for ice cream with her bc it was in a public place and i wasnt super comfortable going back to her apt with her. i paid for her ice cream bc she said her card wasnt working, nbd bc my parents have money and her and her husband aren't really well off. i said she could pay me back sometime, buy me ice cream or whatever another day, but she really fixated on it. she told me her husband thought i was cute which made me a little uncomfortable but i laughed it of, and then she kept talking about how she was bi and would date a girl and how she approached me not to date but to be a friend and then 'see where it goes.' she also told me she did porn online to make money which is fine w me, that she's on disability but that the money isnt really enough to live on, and that she'd been raped in the past and drugged which yanno a little overshare-y considering ive known her for three days but she really seemed like she needed someone to talk to and im good at listening. well her husband showed up out of nowhere bc he apparently tracks her phone and we all went back to their apartment bc i couldn't say no(im a doormat. i know) and she ended up giving me two pieces of jewelry in return for buying her ice cream which felt a little like overkill. i tried to refuse but she said she wouldn't ever wear them again so it would be fine. it was really kind of her but now i kind of feel i owe her back for them. the whole time i was there they seemed really eager to get me to move in nearby, and while its true that area is definitely cheaper my parents are really fine paying for my expensive apartment bc my tuition is a lot cheaper than my sibling's. she and her husband walked me home again, mentioning they might be going on a cruise in november if they could save up the money and that they could bring a friend. i said id almost definitely have school which they seemed to accept. they kind of seemed to want to see my place, but i told them it was really messy(it is) i have anxiety around having people in my space(i do) and that maybe they could come up another day and i could make dinner, and she told me she didn't like people cooking for her bc she'd been drugged in the past and that i could go over to their apartment again instead.

my parents think theres some really big red flags going on and i should try to break this off sooner rather than later. i pretty much agree. im not gonna ghost her and they dont think i should either, but that i should somehow return the jewelry in a kind way and tell her i cant really be super close friends. my mom had the idea to draw myself wearing the jewelry and then say i still have a memory of it but to return it bc i cant accept such a nice gift which i could try to do.

to be clear i am shit at communication and setting boundaries, im very aware of that, and most of this can be solved by telling her hey i can't accept this gift and im really busy for school a lot and im sorry i cant be as much as a friend as you need. but i still kinda feel like tah for leading her on almost and then breaking it off like everyone else in her life. ive been under a lot of stress bc of school and my stepgrandmother passing and trying to take care of my grandfather so trying to be friends with someone that seems kind of high maintenance is not really tenable for me.

so, wibta if i tried to let her down gently?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

320 notes · View notes

rottenrosethorns · 1 year

Note

Leon or Carlos with a chubby! reader? Maybe... smut??? I love your work😭🫶

Pairing: Carlos Oliveira x chubby!Reader

Genre: Established Relationship AU, Smut

Synopsis: Carlos’s arms aren’t just for show. He’s ready to show you how strong he can be to hold you as he worships every inch of your body.

Word Count: 3.4K

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT; body image insecurity, pet name: sunshine, spanking, lingerie, mirror sex, fingering, air sex? Idk, body worship, praise kink

A/N: CARLOSSSS !! latin men >>> ahem ahem anyways thank you for supporting me and requesting this!! I hope you enjoy it <33 (and if u dont , im so sorry i literally wrote this on a red eye flight with a fever :P )

…..

- masterlist -

…..

Was this too much?

You twisted your body, analyzing your figure through the floor length mirror. Spring was here, the sky was clear and the breeze was warm. Thus, warranting you to have a rare sliver of confidence to dress up for your lunch date with Carlos. Conjured in your mind, you thought you were going to pull off the outfit stored deep in your closet; however, physically being in the outfit redacted your confidence and called forth the insecurities which made you bury this outfit in the depths of your closets way back when.

It wasn’t that the outfit was bad, per say. It’s just that the folds and flow of the fabric wasn’t falling where you wanted it to or how you wanted it to. You were a perfectionist when it came to looking good for Carlos – although his arguments always say otherwise – and currently, you did not feel perfect. So, you spent the next few minutes second guessing whether or not you should change your clothes, redo your hair, and add more makeup.

“Almost ready, sunshine?” Carlos peeked his head through the door of your shared bedroom instantly fixating his vision on your figure.

“Almost,” You mumbled, fixing your hair in the mirror before turning to Carlos and gesjuring towards your body nervously. You’d made it a habit to ask him how you looked before going out, although he always had the same but caring response, “Do I look okay?”

Carlos shuffled his way over towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist, and giving you a chaste kiss, “You look perfect.”

You returned his kiss with another before glancing at the mirror again, “You don’t think I should I change?”

“Is there something wrong?”,” Carlos furrowed his brows, “I can buy you something else if you don’t like it.”

With the way that Carlos was looking at you, you would’ve felt guilty for putting yourself down, especially since he was the type to drop everything and worship the ground you walked on just to get that thought out of your head. As much as your insecurities hurt you, disappointing Carlos hurt you more, so you did your best to suck up your worries and not dampen the mood for a happy date night.

You shook your head, deciding to just deal with your outfit. Thankfully, Carlos dismissed it and led you towards his overly fancy sports car and choosing the one of your favorite color. Although his fancy car came with an equally fancy key fob which automatically opened the passenger door, Carlos still made it a point to run around his car and manually open it for you.

“Why thank you, kind sir,” You teased, ducking to crawl into the lowered vehicle. As you ducked, Carlos not-so-sneakily checked out your ass before giving you a lighthearted smack and earned a small yelp from you. Carlos was quick to close the passenger door as he laughed from hearing your muffled scolding from outside the car.

Once he seated, you slapped his arm, wincing when your fingers connected with toned muscles. Pouting, you held your hand close to your chest in feigned pain and muttered, “Damn you and your biceps.”

Carlos smirked, taking your injured hand in his and pressing a soft healing kiss to your knuckles, “And, you love them.”

You looked out your window to try to hide your blush, not wanting to give Carlos the satisfaction of teasing you. Momentarily, he released his hold on your hand to start the car and change shift gears before settling his one hold on your thigh and the other on the steering wheel. Once recovered from your blush attack, you peeked over and giggled as you watched his messy waves get tousled even more from the rolled down windows, “So, do I get to know where this mystery date is?”

“That ruins the surprise, doesn’t it?” Carlos continued to rub your thigh, hands large enough to cover most of your skin. From the surfaces where he couldn’t reach with his open palms, Carlos made up for it by tracing random patterns back and forth from left to right.

You exaggerated a groan, hating surprises from Carlos. Undoubtedly, you loved it when he planned cute dates for you, but this man was extravagant enough to book a two week stay in Bali and call it a date night. Despite this, you graciously let him off the hook with a shake of your head before zoning out for the rest of the car ride. Sitting in comfortable silence, your consciousness was regained when the vehicle approached a fancy sky high building near downtown.

“You’re kidding…” You spoke breathily with disbelief as you looked at the three star Michelin restaurant you’ve always wanted to go to, “How…?”

“That’s for me to know, sunshine,” Carlos took your hand and pressed a kiss with his smirking lips, knowing that he’d done a good job impressing you. Exiting the car, Carlos passed his keys to the conjoined hotel valet and helped you out of the car.

You felt bad about stepping on the cleanest red carpet you’ve ever seen in your life, but you sucked it up once the red carpet led you towards an even more expensive looking marble flooring of the hotel lobby. Clinging on Carlos’s arm, you tugged him down to whisper, “Don’t you think we’re kinda underdressed?”

You squirmed as your eyes meet the grand chandelier, intricately framed paintings, and well-dressed staff members. Saying that you felt self-conscious was a major understatement.

“Kinda? We’re very underdressed,” Carlos pointed out like it was obvious.

You pinched his arm in retaliation, “I asked you if I should change! You knew we were coming here!”

The stubble of his beard prickled your hairline as he reassuringly kissed your temple, “Don’t worry, I’ve got it covered.”

Your mild annoyance was quickly dissipated as you recanted previous dates with Carlos. It was true he always planned your dates very well, always having every detail accounted for and a Plan B for unsuspecting events. But still, you could’ve at least walked the carpet looking done up!

“I’ll meet you later, okay?” Carlos gently pushed your grip off his arm, causing you to panic from the thought of being left alone.

“Wait, where-”

Carlos didn’t wait for your response as he separated from you, going into a separate elevator and flashing you a cheeky smile accompanied with a wink. You would’ve grumbled out a curse at his retreating figure if a heavily French accented voice interrupted you.

“Carlos Oliveira’s guest?”

You turned to accompany the voice with a short, older woman, clad from head to toe in designer brands and accessories. You politely introduced yourself with a soft smile towards the woman before being escorted beyond the lobby.

“Please follow me this way.”

Nervously, you followed the woman closely, not willing to get lost in the very tall and expensive building. You feared that even looking at something for too long could cause it to break, and you definitely did not have the funds to financially recover from your clumsiness. Stepping into the elevator, you mustered up some small talk to kill the silent awkwardness. You figured out that this woman named Ludivine, was a personal stylist flown out from Italy. Her career and experience was riddled with luxury as she mentioned having many encounters and personal relationships with some of high fashion’s biggest brands.

“So, where are we going?”

“Monsieur Carlos requested that we prepare you,” Ludivine explained, “He said, make them look like a God that walked the Earth to enchant their people with their grace. I can already tell you must deal with a handful being with an admirateur like that.”

You coughed to cover your choke from Carlos’s explicit verbiage. You made a mental note to scold him later for it. The small chime of the elevator drew you from your thoughts as Ludivine showed you to your suite which housed an entire team of stylists, makeup artist, and hair dressers. One section of the room transformed to the equivalence of the behind the scenes studios of any global fashion week. One crisp snap of Ludivine’s manicured fingertips sent the team scarabling as they hovered around you and began to prep your appearance. From cleaning to settling the finishing touches, you felt like Katniss getting ready for her interview as the workers completely altered her appearance as a coal miner’s daughter to a prim and proper woman.

After what felt like hours sitting and waiting, the team finally revealed your freshened look. You were definitely more done up than what you’d do to yourself, but it still had that natural and comfortable feel. You were impressed with their work and thanked them. From the corner of your eye, you spotted a clothing rack filled with various expensive fabrics protected in plastic dust bags, “Am I wearing these?”

You sifted through the clothing rack, inspecting each hanger one by one and determining which one suited your best style.

Ludivine shook her head, “Non, mon cher. Monsieur Carlos had insttructed us to dress you in something personally chosen to his liking.”

Your eyes widened in surprise. Carlos rarely ever commented about your clothing choice, let alone being the one to choose your outfit. He was a firm believer that you were allowed to wear whatever you wanted as long as you felt comfortable in it. After all, he made it a point that he could fight whoever decided to bad mouth or nonconsensually touch your figure anyways.

Ludivine brought in the outfit and hung it up on the bathroom door. As curious as you were, the cotton protective sleeve over the outfit kept your glances at bay. Focused on the outfit, you missed Ludivine sneaking in a fancy box and handing it to you, “Please change into this and come out when you’re done.”

You took the box with you into the bathroom. Placing the box into the counter, you unraveled the silk bow and took off the top to reveal a black laced lingerie set. Taking a closer inspection, you noticed the center of the bra bejelwed with the letter “C” amongst the lace and sheer mesh fabric. This set offered no coverage at all, especially the bottom half with nothing but a string covering your ass.

Obediently, you quickly dressed and threw on the provided bathrob before heading back out to Ludivine, “Please keep your eyes closed.”

You nodded compliently, thinking about the consistency of Carlos and his surprises as you closed your eyelids and patiently waited in your bathrob. You hear a series of shuffles which sounded as if she were walking out of the room instead of towards the location of where the outfit was hanging.

“Ludivine? Ludivine, are you still here?” You called her name out many times, hoping to hear some sort of indication from her presence still in the room. Silence accompanied your voice as you grew worried. Just as you were about to open your eyes, the sound of a zipper and rustling fabric calmed your nerves from the fear of being left alone.

You were aided into wearing your clothes, cautiously stepping into it one leg at a time. Once fitted and securely snuggly on your body, familiar arms enclosed around your waist, causing you to melt into the touch and open your eyes, “Since when did you become part of Ludivine’s stylist team?”

“Since I saw your outfit on the store’s mannequin and pictured you underneath me in it,” Carlos pressed a kiss on the soft spot of your neck, causing you to shrink back from being tickled. Carlos followed your movements until he had you backed up against a wall made of one large sheet of mirror which reflected just about every inch in the hotel suite.

Face to face, Carlos looked you up and down to admire his work before pressing his lips on yours, giving you the most gentle kisses you’d ever received. He treated you as if you were so fragile even breathing could corrupt your innocence. His lips moved down to your neck again, eliciting a soft but muffled moan from you.

“None of that, even your voice is perfect.”

“What are you doing? Shouldn’t we be leaving?” You said inbetween his kisses, although not really wanting to leave his arms.

“You don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you’ve been acting?” Carlos’s hands began to run up and down the sides of your body, squeezing and caressing every so often. Once at your hips, Carlos pulled you forward to rest against his hips and slowly grinding on you. You whimpered, pressing your things together as he snuck his hands to grope your ass.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know. I’ve seen they way you’ve been looking at yourself and how you always ask me if you look good,” Carlos licked the shell of your ear before teasingly nibbling, “Don’t forget I notice everything about you.”

Carlos wrapped his hands under your thighs and tapped twice. Responsively, you got halfway to lifting yourself up before planting the soles of your feet back onto the ground defeatedly, “I can’t. I’m too heavy for you.”

Carlos’s heart broke as he watched you shrink back, arms crossing as if to shield his view from your body. With a newfound flare of passion, Carlos turned you around and pressed your face on the cool mirror, “Let me prove you wrong.”

You couldn’t help but stick your ass out and desperately rub against Carlos’s hard on through his dress pants. Carlos grabbed a handful of fabric and harshly tugged on it, ripping the top half completely off of you before the entire thing collapsed around your feet.

“I should’ve chosen something easier to fuck you in,” Carlos grumbled in annoyance, “Oh well.”

You gasped in shock, turning your head upwards to look at Carlos through the mirror’s reflection, “Carlos! That was-”

Carlos shushed you by slipping your thong to the side and sliding his fingers through your wetness, “Don’t worry about that, just focus on me. Eyes on me, sunshine.”

Carlos dipped his fingers again, teasing your clit before sinking a finger in. You mewled in response, watching through the mirror as his fingers disappeared within you. Carlos only gave you a second to adjust before kicking your legs further apart and burying another finger into you. Your hands stretched across the mirror, a small fog of condensation forming from how sweaty you were becoming. Carlos hawkeyed you through the mirror, eyes trailing all over your outstretched body, “Look at how well you wear my lingerie. Lace looks so good on you, I think I want to fuck you with it still on.”

Carlos curled his fingers, whispering sweet nothings into the shell of your ear. Your orgasm was building up with the familiar tightness settling in your lower abdomen. Slightly bending your knees for Carlos to have easier access, you made the mistake of looking downwards. Just as you were on the edge of cumming, Carlos ceased his movements and removed his fingers, leaving you desperately unsatisfied. He used his other hand to caress your chin and tilt your view upward to see him in the reflection, “I thought I told you to keep your eyes on me. I’ve barely touched you and you’re already this fucked out?”

You shook your head weakly, mildly disappointed at yourself for forgetting a simple rule. Nonetheless, Carlos was feeling generous today, prompting him to spin you around and press his body against yours. He rested his forehead against yours, giving you another gentle kiss, “Can I continue?”

You gulped, feeling nervous about being eye to eye with Carlos. Nodding your head, you spoke, “You can. Can you undress too?”

Carlos’s heart ached with how cute you were under his gaze. He shook his head, bringing both of your hands and placed it on his chest, “Do it yourself.”

You slid your hands, all along his torso and relished in the feelings of his muscles under your fingertips. Your curious hands made their way to the buttons of his shirt and slowly worked your way through them. Once all unclasped, you brushed off the crisp white shirt and let it fall to the floor neighboring your ripped attire. You took a second to admire his physique, never failing to leave you breathless. You trailed your hands over his abs, relishing as your hands felt the texture of his chest hair and happy trail. Looking up at Carlos, you thought you’d be met with his signature smirk, yet you were surprised to see him waiting patiently for you to explore him. Non-judgemental and non-condemning. With that in mind, your hands lowered to his happy trail to unbuckle his belt and push down his dress pants just low enough to free his erection. Without notice, Carlos wrapped your hand around his cock to stroke him, “This is what you do to me. This is all you, no one else.”

Releasing his hold on your hand, he massaged them into your hips again, “Let me show you how perfect you are.”

Hesitant yet curious, you agreed and took a deep breath to prepare for whatever Carlos was brewing in his mind. Without a second delay, Carlos took himself into his hand and guided himself into you. You went to curl one leg up to allow him more space to thrust into you, but Carlos had other plans as he hooked both legs in the nook of his arms and supported all your weight. He took a moment to adjust before stepping away from the mirror wall and holding you completely. Startled, you clasped your arms around his neck and pressed yourself as close as possible to him, “Carlos! You’re going to drop me!”

Carlos chuckled, flexing his arms as if to show off his strength, “I’m never gonna drop you.”

He kissed you lovingly once more before his eyes darkened with lust, “Hold on, Sunshine, because I’m gonna fuck the insecurities out of you.”

Carlos proceeded to prove his point by lifting you up with both your legs hooked over his forearms and bouncing you up and down on his cock. You clenched from fear, having never been in this position before. Carlos grunted as he felt your muscles constrict against his shaft, “You feel so good, no one can take me as much as you do.”

Carlos pressed a loving kiss on your shoulder, a reminder to you that he’ll always be there to take care of you. Melting from his kiss, you relaxed in his arms and let him bear your weight. He hoisted you up, thrusting into you again before setting a steady pace. Everytime, he let gravity aid him to bottom out as the slaps of your skin echoed throughout the suite. Your nails dug into him as he voiced out his pleasure in your ear, letting you hear how good you were making him feel. He shifted, so that you could see the both of you in the mirror, “Everything about you is perfect. You are my favorite part about you.”

Squatting, Carlos readjusted your weight and pistoned faster into you, “Look at how pretty you are, doing so well for me.”

Your hands tangled themselves into his messy hair, pushing it back to place sloppy kisses on him. Your moans got louder as Carlos steadied his pace, bringing you towards your much needed orgasm. He felt the walls of your pussy constrict around his wet cock again, letting him know that you were near, “Carlos, I’m- I’m-”

“Shh, I know. Don’t hold back, let it go. Cum for me, Sunshine,” Carlos urged you with another deep thrust before you withered completely in his arms. Your body fell limp against him as he held you safely and walked you to the bed. Putting you down, you took a moment to catch your breath, “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“I can do anything for you,” Carlos leaned over to kiss you.

You laughed, “Should we get going now?”

Carlos’s eyes hungrily looked over you and your lingerie clad body, licking his lips, “You thought I was done worshipping you? That was just the first course.”

#carlos oliveira smut #carlos oliveira x you #carlos oliveira x reader #carlos oliveira #carlos oliveira oneshot #carlos oliveira fanfic #carlos oliveira fanfiction #resident evil x reader #resident evil smut #resident evil x you #resident evil fanfiction

292 notes · View notes

iraprince · 2 years

Note

hi i just wanted to say im genuinely obsessed with the way you draw thighs + hips + butts + the crotch region in general. thank you for your service and if you have any suggestions or resources id adore them

hi, thank you! i have a lot of fun drawing those bits so i'm glad the fun comes through :)

i can def take a crack at some notes on how i construct stuff, but especially with this general pelvis area i think a lot of how i draw it is very much individual stylization -- so what i'll go over is definitely not any kind of anatomy tutorial or step-by-step or anything like that, and i also wouldn't even really call these notes suggestions on how to draw this stuff. my real suggestion is what it always is, which is to get into anatomy studies/figure drawing first, then decide how you want to stylize starting from that foundational info! also, while i don't usually lean into this a lot in my own style, the musculature of the thighs is a lot more complex than you might expect, so it can be useful to look at more detailed anatomical diagrams in addition to just studying from models. but i hope seeing how i often do it myself is still helpful in some way!

so, for starters, and i mean this totally seriously: a lot of what i get complimented on in my art is stuff i specifically draw with horny intent, lmao. i'm not at all saying you have to be horny to get good but i think you get results from fun + fixation, because when you care a lot about the details and when you care about capturing specific stuff that you're excited about (in any way), that comes through in your drawings. so when ur deciding on how to stylize, pay attention to what little details about ur area of focus are really cute/interesting/appealing to you, and find ways to emphasize that!

honestly part of that means focus on posing as well as whatever you're doing with anatomy/stylization -- i have a thing i affectionately call the "ira neck thrust" that my friends are constantly calling me out for and it's basically just the tits and ass back arch that i'm so fond of. of course u end up noticing how i draw this area when i'm constantly drawing attention to it and making things cheesecake-y specifically to show it off, lol!

beyond that i think the summary of the rest of the notes is just to find ways to lay things out so that it's easy for you to place the shapes and details you want to stylize/emphasize. i like drawing thighs with pronounced upper muscle; i often stylize the lower half of the torso + hips with multiple repeating curves to emphasize that shape. i love hip creases and visual cues on how the thighs are moving, so i usually don't miss an opportunity to draw those in (and to pose/costume in a way that specifically shows it off, again). my anatomy in this area is usually so stylized and unrealistic that, while of course i make a lot of these decisions from a foundation of figure drawing, a ton of the actual impact/final look is just coming from style choices!

(i also only have time to throw together one example, but these things should still generally ring true for bodies of any type/size; "bony" landmarks exist regardless of weight and will show up on larger bodies as areas where tendons + muscle anchor to the bone, which can have a lot of influence on folds + the shapes of body fat, and it's always a good idea to study reference and decide from there how to stylize. "morpho: fat and skin folds" is a great anatomy book for this.)

i feel like this is all i have energy 2 throw together at the moment and it's so specific to how i draw that i'm not sure how helpful it'll be lol but!! maybe i will come back to this another day if i think of anything else. also i guess here is one final summary of why i think this method works for me

#tutorial #not really but i'm just tagging it that so it's with all the similar asks #tutorials

753 notes · View notes

kroosluvr · 7 days

Text

sorry i feel bad for ranting on """Main"" i guess though i kinda keep this more of apersonal blog than a very polished art blog thing. under the cut

things wld be easier if i was just an oc-centric artist (which i kinda am but only to myself in my head) but it Is how it is at this point (i want to draw my ocs more but they never turn out the way i want) and theres just so much i want to draw for the silly little media franchises that happen to capture my stupid little heart and etc.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh ifeel stupid for loving too much or whatever. i dont want to throw a pity party over this either because in the end its just "who cares LOVE WHAT U LOVE DRAW WHAT U WANT" right but in the moment i feel stupid and it sucks and i hate it actually!!!!!!! and i WILL in fact keep drawing hwat i want and what makes me happy but like idkidkdidkgkhw

sometimes i cant help thinking if i was a better artist.,, like more artistically skilled........ would people really say the things they do about the things i draw

^ (Authors note: no one has been mean about the stuff i draw just. side comments i guess lol. from my friends though and not random people . so its harder to just brush off i guess)

like maybe im just not good enough yet. which is fine. spite is actually a really good drawing proponent. but its also just like . when will it be enough to be worth it? will it be worth being my friend now if im a good artist? if i draw what you want? ...........................

its obviously not discounting the people who really enjoy my art style adn what i draw regardless (which im soooo so grateful for bc i never like expect anyone to stick around sicne my fixations change like the wind) but its like... these r the people i spend the most time with . and it sucks. i have to. second guess what i say and what i type and just. ok like i know its not that serious either but i hate it i really dont like it (<- im also just socially anxious if u cant tell)

and its also like i cant just extract myself from my friend group for a while to kinda cool off (read: muster the courage to be an idiot in front of them again) bc ummmmm um i dont have many friends . they are kind of all i got. (which is nice i like small circles(?) im not good at opening up to people.) and i do admire and like them very much but then i just feel like i get bit in the ass all the time (This past month) with shit like this i guess

and honestly like. well half the reason i keep switching fixations is BECAUSE of stuff like this where i feel self conscious of """"Being obsessed"""" over One thing so much so i just immediately switch tracks so fast but its just a cycle (Which i dont see as a bad thing tbh? it keeps my art moving and things fresh so like.)

And honestly i dont really try to . be too vocal about. fandom? stuff? when im with my friends? unless they bring it up first? i got burnt so many times with my vtuber interests so like lol ive Learned. but maybe it slips out too much? bruh. my bad i guess

i have to stop thinking abt this man.., why has this happened to me so many times this past month lol its kind of ridiculous

(Im sure they dont like. mean it. right? ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, if they actually meant it and want me to shut up then they should just actually say so right.,

i just want to draw . its not going to stop me from drawing but damn does it really like rain on my parade or put a dent in my fender or whatever other sayings that i cant think of right now

in the end i really REALLY appreciate frm the very very bottom of my heart everyone that even remotely likes/appreciates my art (especially the persona stuff nowadays bc thats what im mainly pouring all my mental and physical and emotional into) like i really really mean it. because this stuff like my silly comics and stuff is really stuff i make for purely my own heart and just what i want to see kinda. and so it just makes me feel really warm that people also want to see it and keep seeing it and love it and everything like that. and, with all this kind of negative stuff going on i just go back and reread tags and comments and stuff and i feel encouraged to keep going and draw more and everything like that. so like really, truly, thank you. i really never thought so many people would like the stuff i make. even if its not really artistically good, or really deeply interesting, im really happy it could be something special to people out there

#cele talks #sorry for . waves hands . this

18 notes · View notes

slutttttttttttttttt69 · 1 month

Text

Why, In my opinion, "Spiracle" is the ideal song for Sebaciel.

In case you are unfamiliar with the song I am referring to, it is titled "Spiracle" and performed by Flowerface.

I've got way too much time on my hands and I'm seriously lacking sleep, so I thought I'd write this thread.

But before we dive in, let me recommend Flowerface.

Besides having this amazing song, they've quickly become one of my favorite artists and have much more to offer than this.

So, without any more delay, let's get started!

WARNING!

I'm just a teenager looking to have a good time, so please don't take any of this too seriously.

So, I came across this song while scrolling through Sebaciel playlists, and boom, there it was.

Since the very first time I laid my ears on it, I couldn't get enough of that tune. It's got this spooky, eerie, yet strangely comforting vibe that fits perfectly with Sebaciel aesthetic.

Little did I know, it was just the tip of the iceberg.

Personally, I'm drawn to music primarily because of its lyrics. So, it was only natural for me to do some digging on them. Let me tell you, I was far from disappointed...

The first verse goes:

I want the parts of you you only show

To the corner of your bathroom mirror

I want the parts of your hand-grenade heart

That beat slowly with anger and fear

Yall can already guess where Im going with this.

This is how Sebastian sees Ciel from his point of view,how he is expressing a desire for intimacy and emotional connection with him.He is asking to see the hidden, vulnerable parts of Ciels emotions and thoughts. The lines about the mirror and heart represent a desire to create a safe space for him, to let his defenses down and open themself up.Personally, I have observed Sebastian's deeper affection towards Ciel compared to Ciel's feelings towards Sebastian.Ironic.

I want the parts of you you only show

To the birds outside your bedroom window

I want the teeth that you lost as a child

That you hide in a box under your pillow

These lyrics express a similar desire for closeness and intimacy, but with a focus on the Ciels younger self. There may be a reference to the idea of lost innocence, and a wish to go back in time to find those parts of the Ciels childhood that he feels he no longer has. The notion of a box which is hidden under a pillow may represent Ciel's feeling of embarrassment over his experiences, or perhaps his lack of acceptance of the past.

YALL SEE THE VISION RIGHT?

I want your quiet, your screaming and thrashing

The salt on your lips and the hands that God gave you

And I want your violence, your silent sedation

Your moon eyes, your telescope, morbid fixation

NOW THIS IS WHERE IT GETS REAL.

Sebastian is looking for the extremes and complexities of Ciel, wanting access to his intense passions, aggression, and pain. The reference to salt on lips suggest Sebastians hunger and desire for physical intimacy, while the mention of morbid fixation suggests an interest in the dark, twisted, and perhaps taboo aspects of the other Ciels psyche.Not to mention the violence part.

Do I really have to explain further? This verse delves into Sebastian's willingness to assist Ciel in seeking revenge, his patience with Ciel's outbursts, his understanding of Ciel's complexities, and his unwavering love for him despite it all.

And I want your pyro, your born-again virgin

Your hands on my insides, your fingertips crawling

And I want your Jesus, your suicide mission

Your lips on the microphone, soft disposition

The lyrics reveal a longing for intense physical closeness and sexual discovery.Sebastian who is eager to delve into Ciel's raw desires and untamed passion, craving deep and intimate connection. The phrase "born-again virgin" hints at a willingness to embrace his primal urges, showing a sense of surrender. And let's not forget the religious undertones - "I want your Jesus" says it all. Ciel's quest for revenge is his suicide mission.

UGH.

And I want your parties, the shark in your water

The scrapes on your knees and the blood that spills over

And I want your zeroes, your polluted marrow

The sweat on your palms and your surveillance shadow

The shark in the water speaks of a danger or threat, while the scrapes on knees and flowing blood speak of pain and violence. The notion of zeros could represent Ciel's emptiness and absence, while the polluted marrow suggests his idea of a loss of purity and sickness. The line about the sweat on the palms and surveillance shadow ties in with Ciel's paranoia and anxiety. All of these themes show Sebastian's desire to experience the full range of emotions and physical sensations, including those that may be difficult or uncomfortable. I LOVE THEM.

I want your secrets, your clementine fields

The ropes that you climb up, the parts that won't heal

I want your safe word, your passive resistance

The sickness you foster, your favorite addictions

Dude. "I want your safe word" HELLO?

"THE PARTS THAT WONT HEAL" !!!!!

ALSO the mention of the clementine fields can refer to Ciel's of innocence and childhood naivety. The lines about ropes represent Sebastian's desire to explore and heal the Ciel's past wounds.

And I want your nightmares, the ghost in your doorway

Your paralyzed sleep and your *scream*

I want you, butterfly, I want you, sailor

I am your lover and I am your jailor

These are pretty self explenatory,thats why they are my favorite.

Just too much paralles.

This is what I see when they say "I want your nightmares,the ghost in your doorway"

Sebastian's perception of Ciel as a butterfly holds significant meaning, symbolizing hope, transformation, and rebirth. Through his affection for Ciel, Sebastian finds hope and undergoes a profound change, shedding his cold demeanor. The butterflies also embody notions of freedom, earthly beauty, love, and the human soul. Similarly, Ciel can be likened to a "sailor" due to his curiosity, yearning for the unknown, and hidden passion. Sebastian, as both Ciel's lover and literal jailor, perfectly aligns with their contractual bond. Bound to Ciel until the end of his life, Sebastian consumes his soul, sealing Ciel to him until the end of Sebastian's own existence.

Alrighty then! That's the complete song for you. Maybe I'll consider doing "Cornflower blue" next. I really hope you all enjoyed this. And hey, I'd be thrilled if you could drop some comments and share your perspective on this. It would mean the world to me!

#black butler #black butler season 4 #kuroshitsuji #sebaciel #sebastian x ciel #proship #antis dni #anti anti #proship friendly #proshippers are valid #proshippers please interact #proshipper safe #book of circus #book of atlantic #book of murder #public school arc #Spotify

15 notes · View notes

tacagen · 11 months

Text

did you know that negaduck from darkwing duck was based off reverse-flash? yeah, that doesnt even BEGIN to describe what's actually been going on between their character histories..

first, negaduck wasnt just inspired by or a reverse-flash parody. he's a literal copy-paste of silver age thawne with a very few changes of origin place from future to parallel universe and identity from some random future guy to main hero's evil twin, because originally eobard was fixated on being a Criminal and not particularly flash's nemesis. back in the day, thawne constantly mentions how much he loves his criminal life. half of his lines are negaduck-worthy purely because the rest is related to being a speedster scientist. my personal favorite as an example:

he passes the speed limit law in central city so that barry couldnt use superspeed without breaking it but thawne still could because he is 'a hardened criminal'. he invents rays that turn everything inflicted evil (something even negaduck has never done (ig solely because megavolt's already done it in the negaduck episode where he accidentally splits darkwing into good dw (posiduck) and bad dw(negaduck, with a black and gray color scheme), and while yellow negaduck is a different character this is basically how the idea of him was born and the writers just decided to keep him in a different form bc the gray one merged back into normal dw at the end which is super funny. imagine coming up with a duck villain and going 'oh this guy actually reminds me a lot of reverse-flash with all that opposite/negative thing. LET'S PAINT HIM IN THOSE COLORS AND GIVE HIM THE SAME PERSONALITY AND SIMILAR ORIGIN THIS TIME'), altho he DOES test the power gem on a cat in jail bird like thawne did with evil rays). he repeatedly tries to get poor former dr alchemy back to crime just because 'crime fun. why cant you see that. im doing it for your own good' and negaduck tried something like that with morgana in feb 14th episode my valentine ghoul (+that brief scene with gos from 2016 comics run where he believes she must be bad deep down inside out of comparsion to nega!gosalyn). negaduck also travels from a whole other world just to fuck around here for fun (there was this bronze age flash issue called flashback where thawne gets lost in the timestream because barry pushed the wrong buttons in his time capsule which is almost exact negaduck's fate in life, the negaverse and everything) and one of another few differences related is that negaduck is shown to be a dictator of his universe's St. Canard who is bored to live somewhere he already has all the power so he travels to another universe to cause problems on purpose.

second. dc's new52. eobard is rewritten again, now he and zoom are kind of one character. but guess what else is new in this version that never happend neither in zoom or professor zoom's lives? thawne is a fucking dictator in his own time. and people tried to fight his rule in flash's name just like friendly four needed darkwing as inspiration to finally fight back for their world.

he gets his own team, acolytes of zoom (i wish i could call them local fearsome 4 but there are 5 of them, making it more of a sinister 6 if you count thawne) which he trains for centuries to fight the flash and betrays later by trying to steal their powers just like negaduck stole f4's in jail bird to become mega-negaduck and if all that wasnt enough, without the mask he straight up looks like negaduck humanization. look at him. this mf is only missing a hat and a cape.

also these sudden black parts in his new speedster suit design? either it is some absolute fucking bonkers of a coincidence or someone on the flash writing team really went 'hey guys you know what would be real funny? lets base new thawne off negaduck. like he was originally based off thawne. i swear no one will notice' and everyone went with that. (i could also mention he has the same dumb motivation for being evil (having shitty childhood/being deep down sad about mistreatment and loneliness) as 2011 dwd comics run negaduck but imo that's too far of a stretch to actually be included)

third. yall know the deal of the first season of cw's the flash? yeah, what if i told you the whole thawne messes with the particle accelerator and causes barry to gain superspeed thing already fucking happend in darkwing duck, episode going nowhere fast?

(the way i lost my mind over this back in the day when i decided to watch dwd just because negaduck reminded me of thawne(i didnt even know he was a direct rip-off, i just went 'oh wait dt universe has this evil fuck that wears the same color scheme as reverse-flash? girl i AM checking the whole thing out just to see if he's anything like thawne'.) and first watched the episode... priceless, still haunts me to this very day. how the hell was that written in 1991. did cw writers just take the idea from dwd too. honestly i cant be sure about anything anymore).

and remember in the duck knight returns (2011 comics run arc) flashbacks there was a super funny thing with negaduck not knowing dw's secret identity and being so proud he cracked the case? remember cw!og!thawne looking for flash's time period and not knowing his identity in 2nd season cameo episode? what the hell was even up with that!!! like guys. guys one of you is the most devoted flash fan from the future and there is NO way none of that kind of information was left a CENTURY after (i mean come on dude couldntve you just asked gideon. she literally had that 2024 newspaper about vanishing and thats at the very least not mentioning she was created by barry) and another is straight up the same fucking person as the hero with the same fucking relatives and enemies. idk take a wild guess??? ((i really wonder if anybody on the wirting team of 2011 dwd run saw not just life, the negaverse and everything but any episode featuring negaduck at all. not only do they ignore the existence of nega!gos in the 'oh he mean bc alone :(' approach, they ignore the very definition of negaduck's character which is literally evil drake mallard. i mean sure hes dumb and may miss obvious clues because of being the same dw just evil but come on, such a comedic situation and never addressed by drake whos literally been in the negaverse and knows they are the same person or by anyone else he coluldve told that? oh well unless drake is also dumb af and thought there never was any drake mallard in the negaverse in the first place and that negaduck is some other guy. which is a real probability i suppose))

also. negaduck's death by being split on billions of evil particles in crisis on infinite darkwings and thawne, being 'exorcised' from nash's body in a form of a negative speed force stream with sparks in 6x15 of cw's the flash.

fourth! yall did watch ducktales 2017 reboot, right? specifically the duck knight returns episode? they introduce a whole new version of negaduck there! and guess what. jim starling, an old darkwing duck (in-universe 90s tv series) actor obsessed with his role, goes fucking nuts because there is a new darkwing duck actor in a new movie and he didnt even know. because he feels forgotten. because no one remembers neither him nor original series (objectievely not true bc obviously launchpad and drake but to jim they just dont count bc reasons. he seems to count only children but calls lp his fan when anthagonizes drake for taking even that from him in the end). because he was replaced and no one even bothered to tell him. he causes a fire on the set, almost kills drake but does have a change of heart at the end after launchpad's speech about what darkwing duck stands for and seemingly sacrifices himself to save drake and lp from the explosion. then they have the worst idea they could have in relation to jim's character ever: for drake to be a real life darkwing duck to honor jim's sacrifice. so naturally he hears that from the sewers or wherever he was hiding to see their reactions(look i am. 100% sure that this is what happened bc that makes so much more sense than jim getting brain damage or whatever from that explosion and waking up to choose violence again for no other reason). he gets hit with the being replacable and forgotten thing once again and renders back to negaduck tendencies, for all we know for good this time as his darkwing suit changes to the yellow-red one. yk who else went on a rampage because he felt forgotten and replaced? you guessed it! the return of barry allen, a 90s classic where thawne goes to 21st century for the first time, thinks he's barry (original-ish flash) because dissociation from trauma of seeing himself being killed by his hero and acts exactly like starling, having the same issues as motivation aka him/barry being forgotten and replaced by wally. he implies wally taking on the flash mantle is most disrespectful to barry. he rants about how he's the only flash and threatens to destroy not only the flash family but the whole central city for forgetting that. he and wally have a conflict of legacy similar to jim and drake's conflict in dt17. he is The starling blueprint only a lot more mentally ill. also we've heard something like the duck knight returns in running scared (this one is less reminiscent of jim but still features some things that werent in the return of barry allen). it's a rebirth arc that introduces another new origin of reverse-flash. now, he's been hyperfixated on barry allen his whole life (on a whole new level i mean) and there was the first meeting in 25th century where they Connected like thawne always believed they would. that day ended up in a fight and thawne's imprisonment because he set up casualties to get attention and praise for being the flash of 25th century but unlike all other versions this thawne has a change of heart after the fight, too. he promises to 'fix everything' including himself, he even goes to therapy afterwards. then he goes to the 21st century to tell barry how much he accomplished since they last met and then sees barry saying to wally one meaningful phrase he said to thawne that perfect day. like it wasnt something special only barry and eobard shared. like the day they met never happened. like he forgot thawne ever existed. like he was replaced as barry's speedster partner/friend/whatever he thought they were after that day by wally. and that shatters thawne so much he runs back to 25th and just decides to become the reverse-flash and make barry suffer until he gives him attention and recognition he deserved. frank angones, i am inside your walls. you CANT deny you based your versions of dw and nd off flash comics and thawne particularly. and more, you legit made reverse!eobarry au and put it in dt in duck forms. i have been losing my mind about it for 3 years now. i am exposing you and there is nothing you can do to escape that.

fifth(ish). yeah, and btw about friendly four from life, the negaverse and everything. did you think they actually escaped being mirrored in the flash? ha. i present to you reverse-rogues from the 25th century aka the renegades, carefully created by zoom and thawne himself, thinking it would somehow be funny.

cant believe hunter once saw it on tv put 2 and 2 together and went 'eobard my dude we need to go full negaverse with the 25th century. we need a friendly four to your negaduck. i swear it'll be Hilarious'. god the only thing they lack at this point is nega!gosalyn (i mean. hunter actually did try something like that with inertia, saving him from the museum and trying to teach him how to torture flashfam into improving them but thad was more of a nega!honker and reverted hunter to crippled powerless state just because. love that kid)

and that's all i have so far, if anyone here also into both yellow-red mfs with no life feel free to comment or even add more because there sure is or at least will be more and no one has the power to stop it.

87 notes · View notes

hermit-is-a-hermit · 13 days

Text

these are @robbie-lee-zombie 's tickle questions! (sorry for the tag! ik you dont know me haha)

i thought id answer them because why not! also its a fun way for yall to get to know how i am tickle-wise since my blog is so new ☺️

1. What’s your favorite tickle tool?

honestly, just hands. but feathers and paint/makeup brushes are fun too. i just dont like the harsh/scratchy ones

2. Favorite Ler? (Tag them if you dare~)

im not super close with really anyone on here just yet, (totally feel free to change that, send me a dm lets be friends!!) so im not sure! i dont wanna tag someone i hardly know lol

3. Favorite Lee? (Tag them to call them out~)

same as #2!

4. Opinion on blindfolds/restraints? Why or why not?

not really my thing! they scare me like a lot haha. like im okay with maybeee my arms up or being pinned if i trust someone, but that's as far as ill go.

as a ler, ill pin a lee if they want it, but big bondage is still not my style. whatever the lee prefers other than that ☺️

5. A spot that gets you squealing?

this question is so cruel 🥲

lower back n back ribs

6. How long do you estimate you could last before calling mercy?

not sure. ive never been tickled for an extended period of time before, but id estimate maybe 2 minutes? before I need a break.

7. Ever have tickle fantasies?

if "fantasies" is being used non-sexually in this case, absolutely. haha i think about lots of cute little scenarios of either me tickling someone or them getting me.

8. Why did you make your tickle blog?

ive had a few before this that i abandoned, and have lurked for like 2 years since my last one, but i joined again because i love interacting with this community and having tickle friends makes me soo happy

(again, dm me!! id love to be friends)

9. Does anyone irl know of your interests?

nope! farr, far too scared haha

10. Can you say the t-word?

i think i can, ive never actually said it in front of anyone before because it never comes up, but like ive said it just fine sitting in my room or while reading aloud

11. Verbal teases, yes or no and why?

depends. some of the stuff i see is awkward and corny, i guess i would have to really experience it myself because most of what i see online doesn't appeal to me. im not sure if that would change if it was an actual interaction haha

this also is the reason i dont rp online as a lee, because its just awkward to me lol. i dont actually feel anything lol 😭

12. Upper body tickles or lower body tickles?

i like both, but probably upper body if i had to choose.

no, definitely not because my belly and back are there shush

13. Neck or ear tickles?

i dont think my ears are very ticklish, so probably neck tickles haha

14. Pinned on your back, or your stomach?

i dont think i could choose haha both make a bad spot super vulnerable 🥲

15. What do you love about the lees you know?

they're SO tooth-rottingly adorable oh my goddess. they make me wanna hold them in my lap and just gently tickle them silly you literal cutie pies.

16. What do you love about the lers you know?

one, they're also so adorable, and two, they're so nice about tickles 🥲 they make me feel so safe and nice

17. Feathers or Paint Brushes?

this question.. 🥲

i dont think i could choose i love them both

18. How long have you known about your interests in the community?

since i was young, like maybe 7-8 years old, i had that feeling about and fixation on tickling, and thats also when i became a little scared and very shy about the subject on top of being a very reserved child, and only just secretly watched yt tickle compilations in my bedroom. i didn't find out about the community until i was more like 11-12. it was huge to me since i thought i was just.. weird haha, and while i was very dumb and didn't put up proper boundaries, i engaged with tickle content for a while. when i was 14, i believe, i had this like year-long phase where i wanted to not be like that anymore, deleted tumblr, and tried to completely push it out of my life but surprise surprise haha! at 15, i started lurking again and here i am now at 17 with my current blog!

19. What’s your favorite way to be tickled? (As in provoked, teased into asking, etc.)

surprise tickles or having someone straight up ask if they can tickle me would probably be my favorites because i feel its SO cute, and also doesnt involve me asking.. also the second one usually means gentler tickles like we're cuddling on the couch or something and those aaa are for sure my favorites

20. Are you/Do you like Polite Lees or Bratty Lees? (Asking for tickles vs Pissing someone off for tickles)

i love all lees because all of you are adorable and i will never say anything different, but someone coming up to me and asking for tickles will always hold a special place in my heart because AA its so incredibly cute it makes me so happy

i myself am a polite lee, im very shy irl in general and that kind of bleeds into how i am about tickles, so while it would take like a whole day of hyping myself up and figuring out how to ask and i would almost 100% chicken out, if i could ask i would. i don't like making people mad either haha

if you have any other tickle (or just normal!) questions you want my input on, my asks are open! ask away!!☺️

#tickle questions #sfw tickling community #sfw tickling #tword community #tickle scenarios #god someone euthanize hermit #tickle thoughts #tumblr is killing hermit today #sfw tickle community #sfw twords

11 notes · View notes

hanasnx · 2 years

Note

Ok to start, Idk where your Tumblr has been hiding but I've been scrolling for only a few minutes now and I'm about to go buck wild from how much I love it!!!

Also as for Ani's dick I feel like yea it is big and long like "im finna make your wall dissappear" way but its not veiny. Rather its on the smooth side with a pretty pink color. Its actually a pretty cock. However i get the vibe for some reason he is self conscious about it. Either he doesn't think it's big or he just weird about it for some reason.

Either way it throws him through a loop when you somehow manage to not only get it in (mostly) but you ride him like it's your job to do so. He's so caught of guard that he cums early and you spend the next hour or so reassuring him that these things happen, that it's alright and your not mad.

(I apologize in advance for this but your blog just got my nasty side thrown into overdrive ans this is the result. I swear I'm not this bad all the time!!)

listen to me. don’t ever ever apologize for shit like this. i am depraved, nasty, disgusting. i live in the trenches. i want to hear about this stuff. all the time

im so glad u love my blog! i also love it im very proud of it :) i only started writing recently so i see why u didn’t find me til now

i agree he would have such a pretty cock. the kind you’d love to cockwarm with your mouth bcos of your oral fixation and how smooth and satisfying it is to feel the velvetiness on your tongue. you’d especially like it when it got hard enough to fuck your throat

i feel like you’d be able to take him, fit like a glove, with enough prep and the fact that you’d probably be built to fit him (good genes i guess) and THE WAY HED CUM EARLYYY omfg <33 after you tell him that it’s fine you get him hard again on purpose so you can continue where u left off

i read @ohgodmyeyes ‘s post about ani‘s dick hcs i reposted it somewhere on my blog but one hc struck me. something along the lines of “as he matured his member outgrew him, earning him odd looks in the guys shower”?? paraphrasing something along those lines. i think that’s why he’d be self conscious i loved that hc cos it felt so in character for anakin and also realistic? for that age to kinda be like 🤨

anyway adult anakin would be very pleased with your positive reaction to his substantial member

#arkainea #thanks for the msg!!#dick headcanons #indy shoots the shit #anakin #star wars #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker x reader #the clone wars #tcw #sw #x y/n #x f!reader #x fem!reader #x female!reader #anakin skywalker imagine

158 notes · View notes

council-of-councillers · 12 days

Text

RAMBLE TIME! not a serious post whatsoever

my headmate, Astophilith/Astro, is a Kraken Cat. half octopus, half kitty. he loves the sea and sea creatures and when he fronted we all knew he would fixate on the ocean in some way

its mermaids. its mermaids and their potential biology, this is what he has determined:

mermaids are pale. pale pale pale. assuming they have human skin, no light gets down into the ocean so they dont need melanin to protect them from the sun

mermaids are FAT! theyre plus sized. if you look at any sea mammal (whales, dolphins, walruses, seals) they are fat they have tons of blubber to keep them warm in those freezing ocean temps

pupils are HUGE! there is no light down there, their pupils are either massive or their entire eye is pupil

meemaid hair is not the same as human hair, the damage from the salt water would be BAD bad itd be frizzy and horrible. they are either: bald (lots of hair slows swimming down)(competitive swimmers wear swim caps and shave off ALL hair on their body), they have octopus/squid tentacle hair like medusa or the inklings from splatoon, they have hair that functions like cat whiskers (cats whiskers can sense things, if mermaid hair is super long they could use it to sense when something is behind them. useful due to no light down there), or they have jellyfish tentacle hair (stings and catches pray for them, also good reason for how long it is)

if we go with the jellyfish tentacle hair thing, their hands and forearms, shoulders, back, most of their body would be scales. like hard hard scales to resist the stinging of their own hair.

they have webbing between their fingers (like duck feet) to help them swim

if mermaids *are* mammals (and therefore chonky), theyd need some sort of thing like turtles where their nostrils close up so they dont get water in their lungs. i personallt love the concept of mermaids with human mammal lungs *and* gills. im thinking that the way this would function is that underwater their nostrils close up and stop taking in above water oxygen, their gills would have some sort of function where between lung and gill the H2O stops being H2O and is converted into water and the water part just goes back to the ocean (like through the skin or through the mouth, maybe back out through the gills the way human lungs take in oxygen and push out carbon dioxide. have not worked that out yet). above water im thinking that their gills close up and they revert to using their nostrils and take in oxygen etc etc

obviously mermaids are fantasy creatures and therefore not real so you do you! these are i guess just headcanons that made me and astro go Oooooooo and i wanted to share them

again do whatever you want with mermaids design them however, this is just speaking on a more scientific level (or as scientific you could get with fantasy creatures)

anyone is free to reblog and add onto this or (politely) correct me (i wont reply to aggression or anything mean. this is for fun.)

if anyone takes inspo from these ideas for mermaid art please show us we would LOVE to see! theres no need for credit either, we saw some headcanons a few years ago and simply expanded on them and turned them into our own thing :)

-Maelstrom

#osdd system #traumagenic system #system #did system #osdd #did #endos dni #system stuff #osdd1b #actually traumagenic #mermaids #mermay #fantasy #mythical creatures #mythology and folklore #myths

12 notes · View notes

the-duchess-of-domination · 3 months

Note

TW for ED/ARFID talk

I'm severely emetophobic (to the point of ARFID) yet I love tummies so much? The noises, the smooth skin, how it changes shape depending on how full it is, the fact that we need them to keep us alive! Everything! But only online. I'm such a sucker for upset tummy fluff yet if someone said their stomach hurt in real life I would probably cry on spot and hold my breath around them forever. I think part of the love for tummies (or I guess you could say kink but it's not that sexual for me) is because I wish I could do it IRL. I wish I could comfort people and rub their tummies when they don't feel well. So instead I go to tumblr where I can do it no problem. I know this is rambling, but I hope someone relates

-lurker anon

TW: OCD, Emetophobia

hi anon!! thank you for sharing!! im sure a lot of us (including me!!) can relate!

i’ll share a little bit about myself! everything with me started as a child, and there are a lot of overlapping layers. i knew from an early age (literally by 5 years old) that it was exciting to me when cute boys had stomach aches (usually from being fed too much, throwing up wasn’t really on my radar quite yet but it makes sense because it comes with the territory). most of the pieces of media i can remember leaving an impact on me usually cut away or just insinuated that a male character was nauseous or too full by showing their face turn green or having them duck off screen. nothing was ever particularly graphic. this also led to a fixation on stomachs in general, especially the stomachs of bigger guys.

though i never admitted this fascination to anyone (and nobody ever shamed me), i felt weird because i knew other people didn’t share this fixation, so i kept it to myself and tried to enjoy it in private (this usually took the form of writing stories or seeking out media that possibly had sick boys in it. i was a real sleuth). i was a bit obsessive with it, but overall most of the harm was internal rather than external because i was convinced that to enjoy watching men’s pain and discomfort must have meant i was evil or that something was seriously with me.

the thing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is that when you explain your compulsions and thoughts out loud they sound silly because you know they aren’t true, but you can’t help but think them. as a child my thoughts told me that to become sick was an admittance of weakness (which, obviously is SO not true lmao) and that expressing vulnerability was a man’s job. i developed crippling emetophobia that has persisted into my adulthood. the idea with vomiting and its lack of control was absolutely horrifying to me.

a man being sick? there is nothing sexier.

but me?

i began to have panic attacks through middle and high school. this later led to contamination OCD, always being terrified of being sick, and again, worrying and having thoughts about why i found it so attractive when boys admitted they were nauseous (that i must be corrupt, a bad person, crazy, etc).

sometimes i think our brains help us cope with trauma and fear by throwing us a bone every now and again. my fear of losing control manifests in fantasies where i hold all the power. i use my fetishes to strengthen the relationship i have with myself: that im not evil, or wrong, or corrupt, or out of control, or crazy. im just a girl who does things a little differently, and control in my fetish life helps me feel more comfortable dealing with my emetophobia in real life.

anyway, that was a long tangent, but i hope this resonates with the people!! 😭 we just love tummies man. i too love the little sounds they make and what those little sounds mean, the look of them, the way they sit on people’s hips, the fact that they can bloat bigger or get smaller, that we anthropomorphize them by saying they get “upset,” the chest and nipples right above them—i could write a manifesto i SWEAR.

-the duchess 👑🦢

#the duchess speaks #emetophilia #emeto kink #tummy ache #belly ache #that was so long but the people need to know

9 notes · View notes

mostlymaudlin · 7 months

Text

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

thank you @decaflondonfog for the tag !! ill tag @sillyunicorn @starwarned @urban-sith @tea-brigade

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

98!! (woah) plus an unrevealed t&n fest fic, so 99. wow i need to do something rly crazy for 100 lol. what if i do a ridiculous crossover of all my fandoms and everyone in the fandom tags will hate me.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

544,914. (again. woagh)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mostly all for the game and simon snow series, have dabbled in & posted even less for check please, captain america, and one direction! i feel like i’m missing something but regardless my fixations are hardcore, so all except like 4k of that posted wc is for either aftg or ss hahahha

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all are andreil! boyfriend privileges (4k, T) / Trigger (62k, E) / flashes of intimacy (10k, t) / Would you still love me if I was a worm? (6k, T) / Inside Thoughts (1k,T)

man this is long, rest is going under the cut lol

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

not very often, but i wish i did. i am stricken with a combination of being really awkward when people are nice to me & being bad at interacting with anyone in ways i fear could be perceived as ingenuine. im not sure if that makes sense LMAO. and sometimes when i put a story out, i kind of feel like i’ve said my piece — i’ve put so much into it that i don’t really know what else to say!

anyway, i always reply to questions, because that’s got clear social boundaries hahaha, and i DO love talking abt my stories!! and sometimes i’ll reply to comments that really get me thinking. but yeah, i know i reply less than i could, and i want to like double down on the fact that i am endlessly grateful for everyone who has ever left a comment on my work <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i have killed simon snow twice lmfao. i’d actually classify icarus as rather hopeful — it’s about grief & healing. but legacies is just fucked up lmfao

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh man, i write a lot of happy endings haha. i feel like even when my story is tonally darker (rare), it still has a happy or at least hopeful ending. this is probably not the correct answer, but i think sing of the moon has a really vividly happy ending. like — the sun rises for the first time in the whole fic! amazing. or maybe my high school au, We Can Live Forever, which is just the happiest thing i’ve ever written.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really, thankfully! people are smartasses sometimes but overall ive been lucky. there have been a couple of fics where ive winced before hitting post, but it usually ends up fine

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yessss. i guess i mostly write tender smut, bc i write tender things in general. i think my smut tends to be rather exploratory/playful as well? intentionally sloppy and awkward choreography hahaha

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

sort of LOL. once upon a time i was betaing @tea-brigade's medieval snowbaz au, Reliquary of an Arsonist, and there’s this part where three highway bandits mug simon and baz and then get blasted by simon’s chosen one magic. i am sick in the head so im in the google doc like “lol what if its kandreil.” and then i was like… what if it was kandreil….. and so i wrote Reliquary of a Bandit

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t think so

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!!! and i’m really thankful for everyone who has done so <3333 shoutout to russian aftg translators, yall go HARD

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i recently collaborated with @thewholelemon on our episode of Star Trek: Redemption, Heart-Shaped Box. by which i mean: i wrote the outline & a few scenes, got really overwhelmed, and jenny turned it into something worth reading!

i also wrote Good Boy in the snowbaz stoner verse with @starwarned, which was rly fun — we sat in the google doc for like, 5 hours trading back and forth on POVs as we wrote pure porn together LOL. it’s funny to think about this, because lauren knows like everything abt me now but we did not know each other as well back then!!! and we were just like “yeah lets write porn together” hahahahha

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

right now it is deeefinitely andreil… they are everything to me for reasons i just cannot possibly be brief about LOL so ill just leave it at that

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i have a postcanon snowbaz time travel/time loop wip that i was going to try to write for COBB this year but i fucked up the deadlines then the brainrot was like “guess that means more andreil !”. i did SO MUCH research for it and i think it’s rather clever and smutty and fun bc they are yeeted back to watford era! but it’s also dealing with snowbaz, who are in their late 20s and are like in a relationship low point/actively fighting when they end up in the loop… so they are dealing with that tension at the same time as they are trying to get out of the loop. and also fucking around watford to fulfill fantasies HAHAHA

16. What are your writing strengths?

characterization is the thing i care most about! and i think that’s the draw of fanfic in particular to me — i love getting such a grasp on a character that i can translate them into endless situations while still making them feel true to self. i rarely let myself publish anything until i can read through the whole thing without any he would not fucking say that moments hahahha. this is of course pertaining to my own interpretations of the characters, which is the only thing i care abt lmfao

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i rely a lot on body language because im always writing abt reticent fuckers who cant use their words. but i think i sometimes overcompensate, or describe actions that don't actually fit the scene. i've seen this described as "cheek-biting" -- like, throwing in action during a conversation just to delay the pacing/further the tone, but when you really look at it, it's not necessary. (cheek-biting being like, "character bites at their cheek" in the middle of a tense conversation)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i don’t really know any other languages! i think i’ve put a little bit of french in neil/kevin/baz POVs before, but my french knowledge is elementary at best. love the idea of it though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

one direction babyyyyyyyy !! i wrote quite a bit of it in like 2012-2015 but published very little. there’s 1 on my ao3, some lost somewhere on fanfiction.net (i dont rmr my username lol), and tons in my folders from my old laptop lol.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

hmmmmm. im gonna cheat bc i cant pick a single favorite. i always say i think No Turning Back is some of my best writing from a craft standpoint, and it also includes my favorite type of conflict (andrew self-destructing lol). however, i reread both that fic & We Can Live Forever on a plane trip recently after not having touched either for 6+ months — and the solidness of We Can Live Forever actually surprised me, especially because i wrote the majority of that fic while i was stoned and also view it as just exceedingly silly. the world of it is just very rich, and also very very different from the typical character backstories, and i’m very proud of how much that reread played with my heartstrings.

ok last one — there are several installments of my flashes of intimacy series that i come back to a lot, because i’m proud of what they each accomplish in 500 words. especially because i often turn to those when im trying to express my own emotions lol. specifically, my favorites are picking fights, i don’t mind, swimming lessons, and practicing gratitude.

that was such a bullshit and cocky way to answer this lmfaooooo. but tbh i am my own biggest fan and that is by design — i write stuff so that i can reread it months later and have it be perfectly catered to my tastes. i love all my fics <3

#my writing

17 notes · View notes