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starseneyes · 5 months

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The Catharsis of Healing - Doctor Who - Doctor 14

It was 2005 and my then-boyfriend and I were studying at the University of Leicester.

During Spring Break, we traveled Europe, including spending some time with various British mates. And one afternoon in Reading, we were readying to go to the pub with our Uni friend and her Dad when a clip played on the tele for Doctor Who.

Before we go any further...

SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't seen the 2023 Doctor Who specials and/or want to remain unspoiled, turn back. I won't say much, but what I do say will ruin absolutely everything. So, off with you, if you wish to remain ignorant! If you don't mind spoilers or already know what you're in for, let's continue...

Not understanding the tone of the show, Matthew and I exchanged a shrug. But, somehow, we ended up watching the show, anyway. And that was how we met Doctor #9 portrayed by Christopher Eccleston, and Rose Tyler played by Billie Piper.

Doctor #9 had an edge to him and a lot of darkness brewing within. But, at that point, I was Rose. I was this young, 20-something who was just starting to explore the world.

While Rose traveled the cosmos and timeline in the TARDIS, Matthew and I took the train. A lot less elegant, but no less an adventure. We even visited some of the same places the Doctor would visit! Although, Pompeii wasn’t quite as alive during our trip as it would be when Doctor #10 and Donna popped in.

But as we were discovering Doctor Who, we were still in a point of discovery about ourselves. We were looking to those who had gone before to guide us, to help us along our path.

June 9, 2006, Eccleston left the role and Tennant popped into view for the first time. And as Doctor #10 came into being, so did post-Uni Rachel. I graduated in June of 2006.

And in that way I saw Tennant’s take on The Doctor in a completely different way than I had Eccleston’s. Of course, each actor brings their own flavor to the role. But, I was a newbie and still getting used to that.

So, with Tennant, I found myself relating more to the Doctor than the companions. And so, when he said, "I don't want to go" before he left us, I was utterly devastated.

By the time Tennant returned to the role in 2023, oh, life had taken turns. Now, I've never led a gentle life. I raised both my parents more than they raised me, and I have had my share of abuse.

But the strain of the last few years between the break in, Matthew's nephew dying, Matthew's great-nephew dying at age 5, Matthew's mother's worsening dementia, the medical bills, the fights for my kids' needs at school, the one really abusive client I finally shed, and everything... plus a Pandemic? Illness? Death?

It's been a constant barrage of bad with no time for that most needed thing—healing.

And so when David Tennant returned to the role with a face I remember well from an era of transition in my life, I remembered the weight and strain of my post-uni years and met that with all the strain experienced in the years between.

We are tired. We are broken. We never stopped to say, "What the hell?!" because there simply hasn't been time. And for the Doctor—who seemingly has so much more time than any of us—to be exactly in the same position is reflective of the state of the world.

He needed healing. So do we.

So when Doctor #15 as portrayed by Ncuti Gatwa looks to his younger self and tells him that he is seen, that he is loved, that he has permission to rest, that they will be okay because he puts in the work to heal... It's the permission each and every one of us needs to give ourselves.

Yes, the bigeneration was unprecedented and ruffled feathers. But as I watched Doctor #14 sit at a table surrounded by people who love him, by people who will give him space to heal, by the community he has craved but always lacked in the end as he took off, again, alone... I felt that in my soul.

Sometimes we need a happy ending. I've talked often about Sullivan's Travels (1941)—a film that takes a hard look at why people need to laugh in hard times. It's such a genius film, and I absolutely recommend you check it out if you haven't. Complete classic.

When the world beats us down, we don't need a mirror to remind us how much it sucks. Sometimes, we need a little joy, a little love, and a little space for healing.

So, I don't mind that Doctor #14 is out there while #15 is continuing the mission, taking the journeys, pursuing the future and past. Gatwa will absolutely make it his own, and has already proven he is more than up to the task. What a sensational choice!

But to see Tennant's #14 giving himself permission to heal... it's just what I needed. Because, golly, maybe I still have some healing to do. And that's okay. I can give myself permission to heal and rest.

And so can you. Give yourself permission. It's okay. You've got you.

#Doctor Who #Doctor Who Spoilers #Ncuti Gatwa #David Tennant #The Doctor #Fourteenth Doctor #Fifteenth Doctor #doctor who 60th anniversary

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puffpasstea · 2 years

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Random blurb idea - could you please do a blurb maybe where Matilda travels to surprise harry on tour, and maybe has her text notifs off bc of travel so harry is upset/concerned bc she’s not responding to his messages? Like a mix of angst and smut?

Sorry if you hate this and its nothing like you wanted.

Warnings: angst, smut, (brief) mentions of mental illness.

---

"I'm sorry, okay? but to be fair, I never said I'd come for sure. I only said I'd try." I adjusted the phone in my hand.

"I didn't say anything!"

"You didn't have to. I can practically feel you brooding all the way over here."

"'M not brooding. Know better than to expect you to just drive out cuz I happen to be playin' a show nearby. Even though we haven't seen each other in months."

"But you're not brooding or anything, right?"

"Right."

"I have to work, Harry! Not all of us can just change our plans on a whim and expect the whole world to accommodate our schedules, you know. Some of us have real jobs. Plus, you know I get anxious about this kind of thing. I'm not a professional rockstar-"

"No, you have a real job."

"C'mon, you know I didn't mean it like that."

"'S alright. I have to go, anyway. Sound check starts in a bit."

"Talk soon?"

"Bye, Matilda."

***

The wheels of my carry-on squeaked gratingly as I pulled it across the airport. I couldn't believe I was actually going through with this. I felt foolish. Like some love-struck teenager sneaking out of her bedroom at night for a boy who doesn't even know her name. Except I'm an adult. And Harry- well, it's complicated. But my therapist did say that I needed to start getting out of my comfort zone and doing things that I wouldn't normally do. Something about practice making things easier, or whatever. I've certainly never done this before. Granted I've arrived way too early for a domestic flight, and I'm sure I've overpacked for this weekend trip. Hopefully, the look on Harry's face will be worth it though.

A knot formed in my stomach every time I thought about how I spoke to him on the phone the other night. All he wanted was a chance for us to finally see each other again, but the thought made me feel threatened somehow. Like I'd admit to being attached to him if I were willing to come all this way. Of course, I could've been nice about it, or at least avoided implying that his job was less real than mine. All I can do now is hope that he doesn't still remember all that.

***

My fingers were shaky against the screen of my phone as I selected the "airplane mode" and plugged in my headphones. Perhaps getting four shots of espresso in my crappy airport coffee wasn't the sanest decision, or maybe the trembling was simply nerves, either way, I needed a distraction. Launching the music streaming app, I went for the "downloads" tab, and played "Matilda" as the pilot announced our take-off.

***

I ran across the airport, my squeaky luggage in hand until I reached the crowded escalator, regretfully bumping into the person in front of me before reaching a halt.

"E-excuse me, sorry." I whispered, but the man didn't seem to care. I peered beyond him at the long line of people. Damn was this thing crowded. I needed it to move faster. I needed to use the restroom. Airplane bathrooms gave me the creeps. And drinking soda with my stale complementary pretzels on the flight was a huge mistake with a bladder like mine.

hurry, hurry, hurry. I tapped my foot against my carry-on, impatiently, and earned a side-eye from the person in front of me.

"Again, sorry, sir."

***

I stared at my reflection in the foggy bathroom mirror. Gross airplane smell isn't exactly the scent I want Harry to associate with me. I took out my TSA-approved, mini-toiletries and began damage control. Freshening up, re-applying make-up, and spraying some perfume might help counteract the post-flight aroma and general vibe.

I promised myself that if this ends up going badly, my therapist is going to have to pay me next week.

The shorter the distance between Harry and I, the louder my heartbeat felt. It was practically in my eardrums by now. I hated keeping secrets from him, but I've also never surprised anyone before. If I was being honest, there was a tinge of excitement and anticipation about this, underneath all the self-loathing and embarrassment. No matter what happens next, I should be proud of myself for trying, right? I should...

***

At the arrivals gate, I deselected the "airplane mode" to access the internet and put in Harry's hotel address. The second that my phone caught signal again, my notifications were blowing up. It took me a minute to get over the vibrations and buzzing, and when the flood had died down, I look at my screen, blinking intensely.

Harry Styles, 12 Messages

Harry Styles, 16 Missed Calls

Harry Styles, Voicemail

Holy shit! What had I done? I worried that he'd been trying to reach me to let me know how much he hates me; how he's glad I never ended up coming out to see him after all. What if this whole thing was a mistake?

My brain froze. I hastily scrolled through his messages, too paralyzed by anxiety to process the words on the screen. Vaguely, I caught sight of "Apologize" "Just missed you" and "worried you hate me" across all 16 messages.

jumping in the cab, I relished in his voice messages and listened to them repeatedly it with a stupidly wide grin blasted on my face the whole time.

"Please don't ignore my messages. It's one thing to do that when we're within driving distance and I can just bang on your door and call your bluff, but I kind of hate when I can't do anything about it now."

"I'm really worried, and I know it's manipulative of me to say this, but, I really don't want to go onstage knowing that you're mad at me."

"okay, I'm starting to think that you do want to upset me. Don't be like this. I just missed you. Can ya blame me? The show was hell in case you care to know. I mean, I couldn't not sing Matilda now, could I? You know what I thought about the entire time I was singing it, though? Remember the one time you decided we should go to your place instead of mine, after filming? You made us dinner and I fucked you against the couch? left a nice bruise on your neck. Some of my best work, I must say. Have you been with anyone...you know, since... It's not like you can't be. Why stay celibate. I'm not your boyfriend or anything. I could be. But you don't want that, so... anyway, they're knocking on my door. Bye."

What a giant idiot.

It was a little past midnight by the time that my cab pulled up to the lobby of the hotel Harry and his band were staying in. I gave the receptionist the fake name he usually uses for reservations like this and they eyed me from head to toe a few times before finally confessing his room number. It was a large penthouse-sized space on their top floor. No doubt booked specifically with all his gear, luggage, and concert items in mind. During the elevator ride to the summit, it occurred to me that he might have brought someone back with him for the night. Or maybe gone out. He'd told me some stories, from the beginning of his performing career, when he'd go to afterparties, and after-afterparties and pick up women and smoke and drink and do things that I could only imagine. But, he's also told me that he has since turned in the opposite direction, opting instead, for a very structured routine on tour. He'd found that performing the very next day with a raging hangover and on very little sleep made his stage presence shaky and lackluster, and he felt it was his responsibility to always give every performance his full capacity. So, it was very likely that he'd be getting ready to go to sleep soon, but what if tonight is the exception? what if he'd decided, on a whim, to go back to his old ways, just this once?

how would I feel if I were to find his lips attached to someone else's neck right now? And before I could wait around to make up my mind about it, I found myself knocking on Harry's door.

the door creaked open, and, I could swear I saw the wheels turning in his head.

"If you must know, no. I haven't been with anyone else since being with you. Not that it's any of your business."

He went from barely looking at me through droopy eyes, clutching the middle of his bathrobe, trying to keep his chest covered to looking as if he'd seen a ghost, to grabbing the cross on his necklace, kissing it, and looking up at the ceiling.

"Thank you Jesus. God, thank you, thank you!!"

I frowned. "I didn't know you were religiou- ahhhh"

He grabbed me by my shirt collar, dragging me into the room and shutting the door behind us.

"Aren't you gonna- ask- why I'm here..." I attempted to remain cool and collected as Harry busied himself with separating me from my luggage, shoving me up against the wall and kissing everywhere his lips landed.

"Don't care" he whispered in between leaving a trail of kissing down the side of my jaw and neck. "Just care that you're here."

"H-harry, wait. I just got off a plane, there's like airplane germs all over me." I swallowed my giggles, feeling tickled by the stubble he appears to be growing.

Harry used, looking up at me through his lashes.

"Fine" He relented, his arms still around my waist, squeezing gently, as if to verify that I was really here. "You can take a shower. There's a very nice bathroom here."

"That'd be nice." I leaned in, kissing his cheek, and enjoying the blush it caused.

Harry's fingers danced down my body and took hold of my hand. "Let me give you a little tour."

"Ooo fancy!" I scanned his residence enviously, until my eyes landed on his massive, and unmade bed. "You were sleeping?"

"Not exactly....was about to. But that doesn't matter now. Cuz I've got company!" he turned around to face me, his hands cradling my face, his sparkling green eyes looking directly into mine. "are you really here or is this the dream I'm having after going to bed thinkin' about you and worrying that I haven't heard from you? Is my subconscious just makin' this up? if so, I don't ever wanna wake up."

My heart melted in my chest. I didn't know what to say, so I simply kissed his lips, causing his eyes to flutter shut and his feet to momentarily lose balance before he held onto me to steady himself.

"Ca-can I...join you in the shower?" he asked, looking down at his feet.

"Seriously, Harry? shower sex? do you know how impractical that is?"

"N-no! not shower sex." He looked at me, briefly, before sheepishly looking down at the floor again, his arms finding their place around my waist. "N-not that I don't wanna fuck you. Just-- uhh...I just wanna hold you. If that's okay? You can say no! I can just wait."

I was glad Harry wasn't looking at me because I'm sure my face would've given me away instantly. I grabbed onto the sleeve of his robe, leading him to the bathroom. "Fine. You can come." I could feel his excited gaze on the back of my head.

***

"Food'll be here in 40 minutes." Harry placed the hotel phone back in its place.

I nodded, my eyes on the tv.

"So..." He stood by the side on the bed, towering over my scarcely covered body. My hair was still damp and he insisted I wear his t shirt even though I'd packed my own pajamas. "How long are you here for?" he spoke as he crawled onto the bed, situating himself squarely in between my legs.

"just- for the- uhh- the \ weekend" I stuttered as Harry's hands slipped under the fabric of my clothes and found my breasts, his thumb and index fingers lightly running over my nipples.

"Mustn't waste time, then" he kissed a line of wet, open mouth kisses from my belly button, reaching the band of my underwear. "May I?"

"Yes. God, yes." My breath quickened. Harry's soft voice asking for permission always got me even when we were sleeping together every other night. Tonight, it downright melted me. "P-please." I mewled, instantly embarrassed.

"Eager, are we?" the grin was obvious in his voice.

"Yes!"

"Yes, what?"

My heart fluttered in my chest, skipping a beat. "Yes, sir." I corrected.

"hmm.." Satisfied, Harry hooked his fingers through the band of my underwear, slowly, teasingly, dragging it down my legs. "That's my good girl."

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles x oc #harry styles fanfic #matilda #harry's house

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aprillikesthings · 2 months

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I think I finally have the energy for more rewatch

We're on the home stretch now folks

*cries*

s5 ep9 An Ill Wind

Me when I started doing this nearly two months ago: oh my god I can't do this for every episode it'll take me MONTHS to watch them all I want is to refresh my memory of the show enough to write my damn fic

Me now, having done this for Yes, Every Fucking Episode: I'm not ready for the show to be over ;_; Also I am devastatingly obsessed with Catra and learned I have a specific kink I didn't know the name of before and I keep practicing eyeliner like every night so I can cosplay Catra :D

ahahahah oh god

also from here on out I am going to not read the synopses

(I didn't do that for most of the episodes anyway tbh)

Glimmer can teleport relatively far distances with multiple people again but Catra is NOT a fan

also they're toUCHING

Adora, looking into the woods: hey come look at this

Catra: *still suppressing puking from some form of motion sickness caused by teleportation*

oh they find the empty torn up camp

Glimmer: maybe they went to Bright Moon or Mystacor? Catra: dude you know they could all be chipped so maybe we should be careful Glimmer: oh you don't trust princesses? Adora: Catra's right Catra: *grins in satisfaction*

just look at her

the fuckin. lack of subtlety here. as always. *chef's kiss*

("ugh they didn't HAVE to be so obvious don't you think it's Too Much" listen I've literally seen people who've watched Arcane be surprised to find out that people are shipping Vi and Caitlyn. "Really? I didn't think that was romantic." You didn't? Did we watch the same fucking show??? The one where those two have romantic tension so thick you could carve it with a KNIFE? The one where they had an overdramatic breakup scene in the rain even tho they hadn't kissed or anything? The one where they lay on Caitlyn's bed and talked about Vi's past while making significant eye contact and holding hands and Caitlyn pet Vi's face? That scene where they hug on the bridge and Vi does that like, face pet thing before walking off and they're clearly both in AGONY at being separated?! Are you really that fucking oblivious??? Jesus H Christ. Yes She-Ra made it SUPER OBVIOUS because some people are BAD AT PICKING UP THIS SHIT also She-Ra is aimed at kids and they haven't learned subtlety. Arcane was aimed at adults.)

no really I've seen people express surprise that people think they're going to be a couple. when that ^ was after they'd known each other like two hours

(seriously tho, if you can handle violence (there's a LOT ngl, it is not a show for kids) then you should watch Arcane, the people who make it have made it pretty clear that it's gonna be canon, and the next season is out in November; but also leaving shipping aside it's just REALLY, REALLY GOOD)

ANYWAY back to other animated lesbians

lol Glimmer teleports them all again without warning and Catra really does look like she's gonna hurl

And Erelandia ain't looking so good, oops

(but also yes Adora helped Catra up again)

intro is the same as the last episode

AHAHAH a dozen planets are rebelling against Horde Prime he's so pissed. And they apparently all mention She-Ra

yeah I am again surprised at how much of the actual plot I forgot lol (but I remembered that Glimmer liked to sneak into the kitchen to eat cake with her hands. Y'know. Important things.)

given his tiny facial reactions I think that's Hordak-Hordak. Our Hordak. Not the Wrong Hordak. I think.

once again I ask myself: where did y'all get those outfits

Entrapta teaches Wrong Hordak how to wink and it's so cute. I also love that she explains what it means--because I'm sure she had to consciously learn it, too: "It signals unspoken intent behind my words. In this case, our mutual deception of the Horde. Now you try."

awww

but yeah everyone in town is terrified and won't talk to them, and especially doesn't want to talk about any princesses

"should I buy property here?"

"...go team."

C'MON THAT WAS FUNNY, GUYS

Also, note to self, Melog definitely understands human speech--they split up, Catra is told to stick with Entrapta and Melog (and Catra frowns at this, just barely) and Adora tells Melog to keep them safe and it does a little noise of affirmation. (wait is Melog a he or a she or a they?)(fan wiki says it's an it but dang I feel weird using "it")

Okay so the scene where Glimmer, Adora, and Bow hide in a shop and then end up arguing with the shopkeeper is like, fascinating on multiple levels

Because on the one hand: I can't blame the townspeople for just keeping their head down and trying to get out alive. On the other hand, reporting them to the Horde isn't cool; they could just pretend not to be suspicious of these guys; there are in fact lots of places on the spectrum between "actively collaborating with one's oppressors" and "mounting a full-scale armed rebellion."

But on the other other hand I also think it's interesting that Adora's the only one of the three who's like "nah dude just let these people live their lives omg," something about Adora having lived in an oppressive environment for her whole childhood maybe

poor Adora someone get her an ibuprofen

Anyway Spinerella found them ack

Also Melog steals an apple for Catra, just magically takes it from someone's basket and into Catra's hand, which implies they're communicating non-verbally more than just moods, though I suppose "hungry, that apple looks good" is a mood

speaking of things that would make ANYone motion sick--

(Adora is saying it) Catra's right there, dude. You spent the last four seasons fighting her. lol.

Oh I paused it too soon lol Catra says this line:

LOLOL

Back on Horde Prime's ship, Hordak keeps looking at the chip thing Entrapta gave him and gets caught by Prime, whoopsie

oh hey, lore: Horde Prime can't access ALL the memories in his previous bodies without going into them, and he keeps his old bodies around in that green goo, that's fucking weird and gross, anyway he plugs a connection into his old body

Horde Prime: "The First Ones sought a new source of power of ancient worlds. Why? Why bend themselves to the whims of magic and myth?"

Poor Hordak has flashbacks to Entrapta and the Fright Zone. Mostly Entrapta. Including a moment of her looking at him fondly--I think it's the moment when she says "Imperfection is beautiful."

Horde Prime: "The fools took their secrets with them when they died. But I will find another way."

(I've seen a fan discussion suggest that there aren't actually any First Ones left--that when Light Hope made it so Adora came through the portal, the portal itself went back in time. I like that explanation in part because it means in my fic I don't have to figure out why Adora doesn't go looking for her birth family. Which tbh most fic-writers don't worry about anyway lol.)

Back with the rebellion, poor Catra is once again trying not to lose her lunch because they've all teleported.

And Netossa is like WTF IS THAT BITCH DOING HERE

Melog doesn't like that

Adora: "It's a long story, but she's with us now" Netossa: "...really??" (Catra in the background: hisses)

BAHAHA and then Netossa spots Wrong Hordak and they have to explain, no that one's with us, too 😬

But yeah p much the entire rebellion has been chipped except like Netossa and Perfuma

Adora and Bow have a guilt trip about having been gone for so long (...to rescue the queen! and also Catra)

and Catra's remembering what it's like to be chipped :(

Glimmer gives them all a ra-ra little speech

Adora just makes the sword appear in her hand without transforming lol that's cool

but they're doing the "I'm in" "yeah me too!" thing and

like, on dates?

(lol)

yayyy

Anyway the team heads back to Erelandia and starts kicking some ass

there's a great moment when Catra's like "you go deal with Spinnerella we'll take care of the bots" and Adora says "be careful" and Catra grins and says "always am!" like ma'am that is a LIE

Spinnerella is torturing some poor villager, and Netossa is worried her wife isn't still "in there"

Adora would know. From literal, personal experience. ;_;

She transforms into She-Ra and Netossa literally does a whistle of appreciation and says, "New look?" and She-Ra grins back. And somehow that is, like. Super queer. Like literally just one lesbian to another, in a flirty-but-not kinda way. Like I have *had* those interactions, where the underlying meaning is "I know we're each in a relationship, so I'm not actually hitting on you; but as one queer woman to another I want you to know that I see what you're putting out there and I like it." It's one of the best things??????

Netossa gives a little speech to Spinnerella about how she loves her and Spinnerella actually comes back for a few seconds ;_; but then she's gone again, but She-Ra and Netossa convince her to disappear for a while at least? And the locals rejoice.

And Catra would know. ;_; (She rubs the back of her neck after saying this.)

Anyway word gets back to Horde Prime that She-Ra is back on Etheria :D and he's so fucking pissed he's going to go there

...and Hordak spends a long moment looking at that chip from Entrapta again

They go to where the rebellion is actually hiding out, Glimmer and Catra recognize it

and I'M BLANKING ON WHY THEY'RE REACTING THIS WAY HELP seriously I have spent like ten minutes trying to figure it out, I don't think they talked about it while on Horde Prime's ship? Fuck!! IF YOU KNOW PLZ TELL ME

Any Perfuma ties them up and makes sure they're not chipped and then it's Happy Reunion Time with everyone :D

Adora to Catra: it's time for you to meet everyone Catra: are you sure??

I got that one without trying I didn't know it was coming lololol I was trying to get a shot of Catra looking hopeful

poor thing

Adora: long story but she's with us now!!!

Adora (well, as She-Ra) gives them all a little pep talk

ANNND EPISODE OVER

and I don't have time to do another one tonight and I won't have time tomorrow until like after 6:30pm aaaaaaugh

ON THE UPSIDE I only work two days this upcoming week.

Because it's Holy Week. I'm going to be in church like every day starting Wednesday and twice a couple of days ahahaha including an hour in the middle of the night on Thursday.

It is DEEPLY HILARIOUS to me that I'm going to end up watching the last episodes of She-Ra mere days before Easter. Like I literally have four left. Assuming I watch one tomorrow, I could end up watching the next one Tuesday night and watching the last two BEFORE GOING TO CHURCH ON WEDNESDAY how tf am I gonna focus for SHIT lolol

#april rewatches spop #an ill wind

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uncle-dusknoir · 1 year

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SHIT I forgot I should do one of those pinned posts explaining who I am. i mean probably i kinda like the mystery but eh whatever.

im Basil. unovan. she/her. Hex Maniac "curse fanatic" by circumstance.

blog title source - personal curse tracker

I've got Toothpaste, he's a shiny Obstagoon and my baby boy; Thyme, that Dusknoir, my uncle; Jupetta, a Banette, Thyme's Pokemon before he turned into a Dusknoir.

There's also Skorna, the bone Runerigus. She's just a pest.

Deckard, a white-furred Zorua (NOT HISUIAN) i found in my backyard. He's baby

Mint, a Sneasel I got as a gift from a friend of mine 💜 she's very bity

I've also got a new Poryphone named Porypory. it speaks in pink, is very polite.

oh and the 19 shuppet from the halloween party

... And Bluebell! An Alolan Meowth I found in the dumpster in Alola. She's a million years old and the sweetest cat in the world

image of thyme here

image of skorna here

image of toothpaste here (also me)

image of jupetta (mostly toothpaste tho)

image of deckard (and also me)

image of mint (and my arm)

this weird breloom someone let loose outside my house??

> ooc notes under the cut

9/15/23 updated her 'main' image to be more in line with how i draw her

subscribed blogs only dash (I'm really just putting this here for myself but if y'all need it idm)

my other pokeirl blogs are @crossbones-n-skull and @nifuunbakufuun!

join the hex maniac discord server! more info (kinda) in linked tumblr post. if the link is dead lmk ill fix it (discord added a thirty day link cap)

basil's cousin, sage, is over at @sage-the-exorcist (run by my friend, statik!) she currently has him blocked (its not working)

additional facts for my own reference:

skorna speaks in orange.

thyme speaks in green.

porypory speaks in pink.

jupetta, toothpaste, and deckard don't speak through the blog. (however, if given voice through an event, their text will be colored as seen.)

two voice claims that i'm debating (but i take suggestions)

family bibliography (books)

loose timeline

view the blog in chronological order here! (bear in mind there is quite a lot. lol)

Basil is 25 (as of nov 1st 2023!). I'm (the mod) 19.

she lives in the woods around icirrus city, in an old house that she just... took. it was abandoned so what about it its hers now

thyme the dusknoir is her uncle. he did not die naturally.

jupetta the banette was her uncle's, but technically is hers now. she inexplicably knows Teleport.

skorna the runerigus isn't kept to a Pokeball, as she and Basil are literally bound to each other through possession bullshit.

back when thyme was alive, they did a LOT of travelling. she's primarily been to galar and kalos, but have stopped in every region at least once. only place they haven't been to is paldea, and that's because thyme isn't allowed in because he tried to go in the crater

thyme had a TV show.

mun is aromantic, but Basil is bisexual with a female lean

post detailing Basil and Skorna's connection

old ref image, for archival purposes:

if anyone ever wants to plot anything, feel free to dm me! I'm always down, could be fun. I just don't do "in-person" RP on Tumblr- this is strictly a social media site for the character. update- i will rarely do off-rotumblr RP, but it is not going to be frequent. all threads will be completely under readmores

note that, while Basil most likely won't be super active in high-stakes plotlines, i might have her react to some, especially if i find them interesting. she's no main character.

if you want your character to know basil out-of-rotumblr, feel free to DM me here on tumblr! my PMs, unless specified are an ooc-only zone and im always happy to chat about rp.

(however, please keep in mind that i'm really not one for small talk that doesn't have to do with rp; i have too many bad experiences with people befriending me in my PMs and then just offloading trauma. i don't shut the fuck up in discord servers where other people are though lmao.)

on that note, i do have a discord! if you wanna invite me to any servers feel free to pm me about that too!

#about post #current running plot:#thyme and thyme again #former threads:#weird breloom #an ill advised sidequest #regi runes #skornaling saga #between thyme and space #possession recovery #spiritomb halloween #basilblogging #<- going to tag every post as that #for /chrono purposes

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closetsof-backlogged-dreams · 7 months

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so, ik not a single person gives a shit, but fun fact/story time about me: i've never actually, in full, watched the last three episodes of merlin. i've been in this fandom for about a year, and have even written entire analyses on specific scenes in the last episode, so let me explain my madness lol.

when i was younger, maybe like 10 or 11, my mom was OBSESSED with this show. like, she'd watch it all the time. i could distinctly remember random scenes i walked in on, like when they try to execute Gwen and the soldiers pull Arthur and her apart, or that one random episode when Arthur is placed on that wheel with an apple in his mouth and knives are thrown at him, or, the one that probably left the most impact, was the entire ending of the show. i watched probably the last ten minutes of the last episode, and watched Arthur die and Gwen be crowned sole ruler of Camelot. i didn't really care tbh lol.

but because of that, i knew exactly how the show ended. i had also seen bits and pieces of the two episodes before, so i just generally had a vague idea of the final three episodes, arguably the most important in the entire series.

but then, i got older, and got more and more interested in fandom. and yk which fandom i saw in every corner of the internet? that goddamn show my mom used to watch as a kid. i always told myself i'd watch it at some point, but i didn't get around to it until they announced it was being taken off netflix. let me tell you, that was the binge session of my LIFE. i watched all five seasons (except for the last three episodes) within a week and a half. but when i had around half a week left to finish the series before it was removed, i completely avoided those last three episodes. i buried myself in fanfic, tumblr posts, and the like. then i found them all free on youtube, around two days before it got removed, and i just told myself i'd watch them later. newsflash: i didn't.

i've been VERY active in the fandom ever since (honestly way too active, im like mentally ill lmao) and still havent seen those episodes. i wrote an entire 3k word essay (that i had to cut A LOT from lol) about the series and even analyzed the scene where Arthur dies in a portion of it. now, i keep saying i still haven't seen those episodes, but that's actually untrue. because as of ten minutes ago, i watched them.

so what does that make this post? well, it makes it a warning, because i am going to be so completely insufferable about this series i am 100% sure someone is going to poison me within the next 72 hours. be warned—i am a changed woman now, and i am absolutely unstoppable.

#sof absolutely loses her shit #thats what this is right #i am actually so unwell its not even funny #i have cried like six times within the past two hours #merlin has destroyed me #honestly why did i watch those episodes #this wasnt worth it guys #i am In Pain #merthur #merlin #bbc merlin #bbcm #arthur pendragon #merlin bbc #merlin thoughts

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theintrovertbean · 1 year

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Do you have an OC? Would love to hear about them if you do so take this as a moment to completely brag about them 🤭

Yup, I have an OC! Although, they're pretty much just me, only a better version. I haven't talked much about them anywhere due to being afraid of people judging me since this includes a topic that a few people might not like.

I normally don't like OCs. I have almost zero interest in them, but I guess this bitch counts kinda as an OC, so here we are. Still, I have no idea what I'm doing here, and forgive me if this isn't what you want me to talk about. I've made an OC before for Nadia, but she's on my old blog, and I never wrote anything with her related to The Arcana, so yeah. But this one is a different case.

Anyway, some of you may or may not know that I intend to reality shift to The Arcana (and I'm very close, I've actually seen parts of the shop and had a few lucid dreams about Nadia. Once, she complained to Namar about me staying up late.) So I just created a little alternative universe for myself where I will live as my OC.

Their name is Eszter, and so is mine. Yup, that's my real name. Beautiful and fancy, I know. For privacy reasons, I will not share my surname because I'd die of shame if someone who has met me IRL found out about this blog.

Just like me, Eszter is non-binary and uses they/them pronouns. Their age depends on the story, and it usually varies from late teens to thirties.

Esz has four siblings (I have one myself, a younger brother, and he is for sale, but no one wants him): two brothers and two sisters who are all younger, so Nadia can finally become the older sibling that she never had. Eszter often takes care of their siblings and looks after them whenever their parents are absent, which means most of the time.

Their hobbies include making perfume and jewelry, singing, and cooking.

Eszter bought the magic shop from their aunt, who is still very much alive, but she was fed up with Lucio, so she moved back to their home country. The aunt adopted Asra and Muriel, so they've been close friends with Esz since childhood. However, the Coliseum stuff happened to Muriel, so he no longer lives in the magic shop. Eszter doesn't remember him, but Asra still lives with them, and they have the coolest slumber parties.

Since this entire blog is dedicated to our goddess Nadia, I'm going to tell you how she and Eszter met. Well, in three different realities, so this means three stories.

This is exactly the way everything is in The Arcana. No big changes, it's all the same way as Nadia's route. Eszter died because of the plague, Asra brought them back, Lucio "died," Nadia took a big nap, woke up, went to the magic shop, and you hopefully know the rest.

My favorite one so far and the reality where I want to shift first. This one has most of the major elements of The Arcana. It's a lighter version without any death and battling the Devil. Eszter had some brains and left Vesuvia before they could have fallen ill to the plague, so Asra never had to bring them back, and they just returned to Vesuvia after the plague was over. Nadia still took a big nap, and Lucio made his deals, so Vesuvia is in some deep shit. Esz has a horrible opinion of Nadia due to a few past events. She and Eszter were supposed to meet, but Nadia left for Vesuvia and married Lucio. Eszter met Lucio later and came to the conclusion that he's a piece of shit, so Nadia must be, too, since people usually marry like-minded individuals. Still, Esz knew that Nadia was a Satrinava, and every Satrinava that Eszter had ever met was a nice person, so they couldn't believe that Nadia was an exception. They snuck a letter under her bedroom door, telling Nadia to come and meet them at the docs and they'll take her back home to Prakra, but she never showed up. She wanted to, but her pride kept her in Vesuvia. And now to when the game is supposed to begin. When Nadia arrives at their shop, Eszter doesn't want to help her with the investigation at first. Eszter agrees but emphasizes that they will do it for the people of Vesuvia and not for Nadia. In the next few days, they spend some time together, and Esz realizes that Nadia is actually a wonderful person, which leads to an apology and a romance story.

This one might be the sweetest and the simplest. The young and dashing Eszter arrives in Prakra, where they meet the youngest of the Prakran princesses. These two sweethearts fall in love, and that's pretty much the purpose of the whole thing. It's kind of a first-love situation. They're both young, but they're not minors. They're never minors.

In stories number 2 and 3, Esz is royalty for one completely valid reason: I want to make Nadia a queen. And if anyone has a problem with that, I'll fight them myself. I'm short and full of anger, so be careful. In story 2, Nadia believes that Esz is just a humble magician, so that's a big secret that they keep from her. It does not lead to good things.

Just like me, Eszter is non-binary and uses they/them pronouns. Their age depends on the story, and it usually varies from late teens to thirties.

Their hobbies include making perfume and jewelry, singing, and cooking.

Anyway, if you want to know more about Esz, I'm more than happy to brag a little more about them. And if you'd like me to write maybe a story or two, whether it includes more about their background or their love story with Nadia, I'd gladly do so.

#nadia satrinava #nadia arcana #the arcana nadia #nadia the arcana #countess nadia #arcana nadia #nadia i love you #arcana oc

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chronicbeans · 1 year

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Eyes of Iolite

A "Tales of the Iolite Hospital" short story

TW: Chronic Illness, Murder, Religious Imagery, Memory Erasure

Dear Diary,

Tonight I had the most peculiar interaction with my creation, Dr. Cogsworth. I wish not to remember this date, for it has shook me to my core, but I must keep this noted, so I shall simply not date this entry. For a machine designed to follow my whims and rules, he is rather outspoken about his opinions, that of which, he is supposed to have none. He should know how our policies regarding the chronic and terminally ill are the same: kill them to put them out of their misery, regardless of their own wishes. A rule I had made all those years ago, when I first found this building and made it into a hospital, due to my beliefs that the suffering should not deserve life.

Tonight, I had killed a young girl under his care. She suffered from a rare chronic illness called eosinophilic esophagitis. She was suffering, clearly, so I decided to take her out to the playground in the backyard and put an end to it all.

That was when Dr. Cogsworth showed up. His eyes were wide, the ticking music box in his chest running at the speed of a jackrabbit as he stared down at her body. Then, his face contorted with the rage I have never seen before on anyone, man or machine, as he pointed at me.

He shouted "What have you done?! She had a whole life ahead of her! She didn't want to die! She never asked you to do this!" As I explained the reasoning, how I was doing good by my god and, as such, by her soul, he countered it all. He claimed that she might not have grown up to believe my god, she might not even grow up to believe in a god. Then, he spoke words which have now bore themselves into my soul.

"Look at this blood you have spilled, Pierce! All the blood you have spilled here! The blood you have spilled on the steps of your beloved hospital! Your beloved temple to your god! You've added the blood of a young girl who still had such a long life to live to these steps!" He proceeded to point at the upper windows of the Iolite Hospital with one hand, then to himself with his other, continuing "You can lie to yourself and to your workers - no... Your MINIONS - and say that you have no regrets or qualms with your despicable actions! However, you can never run from this! You can never hide this from my eyes! You can never hide this from the eyes of the very Iolite Hospital itself, Dr. Pierce Iolite! Never! You believe these eyes shall pass judgement upon you, yes? You care about what they witness you doing? How do you believe they will think of you, looking down upon the corpse of an innocent little girl you have so horrifically slaughtered upon its sacred grounds?"

Then, with not another word, he stormed away. He knows, just as well as I, that he cannot go to any police station or detectives or whatever to get me in trouble. Lord knows I haven't seen any stations or officers around here.

However, for the first time in my life, I fear for my soul in a way I never have before. The walls have eyes here, breathing life into these halls, and passing judgement upon all. The sickly must be dealt with, but I know as well as any other follower of Iolite that murder is not allowed. It is unholy. It will bring the wrath of Iolite upon you. The sickly must be dealt with in more... Roundabout ways. I must find a way to cleanse myself of this guilt so that I may think with a clear mind.

Dr. Cogsworth, however, must also be dealt with. He thinks and feels too much for his own good. I shall have to reprogram him so that these emotional outbursts do not continue and he follows the systems I put in place for every worker here, while still leaving him with the care a healthcare worker must feel in order to provide good services. I must also ensure that he doesn't remember any of my unholy deeds, nor a life where he could express himself.

Signed, Dr. Pierce Iolite

#tales from the iolite hospital #my ocs are my babies #my story

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faszaakisshobbi · 1 year

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April TC Challenge 1-8 | from @morethanwords0475 | also sorry for the long-ass answers I have quite literally nothing better to do with my time and got very carried away lol

Happy April Fool’s! Have you ever pranked your TC; if so, how did they react? I have not. I mean ill joke with them a tiny bit but never actual prank pranks. they r too scary and I am afraid what'll happen if I prank either of them lmao 💀

What is the earliest thing you can remember about your TC? damn I remember a tiny bit before the pandemic with П but no specific memories. but its crazy because I remember little before the pandemic. but for Б since I haven't known her as long I remember our first lesson and even down to what we worked on.

Do you like your TC’s subject? Do you consider yourself to be good at it? I love my tc's subjects. I mean... they both teach the same thing kind of. one is just orchestra conductor and one is private teacher. I love and am okay enough at classical music and the viola to want to continue it as a profession (right now at least and hopefully this will continue and I won't burn out).

How do you feel about your age gap? hmm well its a lot bigger than others. its funny because they are almost exactly the same age only separated by a few months. i'm always attracted to women older than me but idk. its not as weird with Б since I see her much more platonically (I think it will stay platonic🤞). idek with П.

Have you ever said anything to your TC that showed you favoured them? Have they said anything like that to you? if П doesn't know by now she is the stupidest person I've ever met. but I think she knows bc is very obvious I favor her and I think I've said to her face and written in cards n shit that she's one of the best teachers I've ever had. П also openly favors me in front of her classes with things she says and does (I could make a whole other post abt this). Б somehow knows every thought that goes through my head lmao so yeah. no fr tho I think she can see my admiration for her just through little things ive done around her/for her.

Have you ever noticed any small habits that they have? If so, what comes to mind first? П subtly sways back and forth when just sitting down and often fidgets with her hands/fingers, selves, buttons on clothes, zippers, etc. Б crosses her legs in a really specific way only when she's sitting on this tall stool she has in her front room. she also always wears her hair in the same way every day unless its a concert and even sometimes if its a concert she'll wear it like that.

What gift would you really like to be able to give them, regardless of if it’s realistic or not? I have this insatiable urge to get П a really nice neckless and get myself a similar one too. it would be really dainty and pretty and I have a few I have seen in mind. or get her some really nice perfume. but no I would seem like a creep especially with the perfume lmao I don't wanna turn into villanelle. idk what I would get Б, it would probably be something small and a very "its the thought that matters" gift bc she likes that stuff . or maybe some cool crystals or one of those little tied friendship bracelets if I had to pic something rn :))

Does your TC ever talk about what it was like when they were still a student? YESS!! they both do and I love hearing all their stories! they tell me about regular school teachers but especially music teachers of theirs and how they learned. they both grew up in 1980s Hungary so its just cool to hear about the classical music world and education then. Б has noticed I like hearing the stories and always tells me some at the end of lessons now!!

#female teacher crush #teacher crush #teacher crush community #tc challenge #teacher attachment #teacher x student #teacher love #tc crush #tc love #tc feelings #female tc #tc community #tc confessions #tc post #tc blog

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balladedutempsjadis · 8 months

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I saw Jawan today and ...

The last film I saw on a big screen was Ponniyin Selvan, Part 2, and before I went to see Jawan I had a talk with myself. "Self," I said, "although I don't know much about this movie, I know that it is not directed by one of India's greatest directors, nor is based on a classic series of novels, nor is the sequel to the previous film which had well-developed, memorable characters even in smaller roles, played by extremely good actors. So do not expect, Self, that this will give you the same kind of experience that the PS films did."

And with that said, no, this definitely didn't give me the same kind of experience but it was really fun to see one time in a theater with friends.

Big, big, VERY BIG ENORMOUS SPOILERS. Don't read if you haven't seen the film and you want to be unspoiled.

Much like my PS2 theatrical experience, I MISSED THE FIRST TEN MINUTES AGAIN, ARGH! I was counting on previews and they didn't have previews, I guess? However, I don't think I missed out on as much as I did by missing the first ten minutes of PS2.

There were lots of things I liked about Jawan, so I'm going to start with those:

The good:

It was fun seeing a bunch of South Indian actors like Priyamani and of course Nayanthara and Vijay Sethupathi. (More about them later.) Oh, and I did like the mini-Family Man reunion with Priyamani and the actress who plays her character's daughter Dhriti on that show :D (If only Manoj Bajpayee had been in this and/or Raj & DK had written the script, this would have been a different film altogether.)

SRK is very charming, but much more so in the second half when he was playing the much more age-appropriate Vikram Rathore. I'll get to why I liked Vikram Rathore more in the parts that I DISLIKED but I also loved that Vikram was very funny. (I always love when SRK is slightly taking the mickey out of himself which he did in the second half of the film. And I cracked up when he asked Suji if she was also his kid.) I would watch a whole entire movie of Vikram Rathore doing cool stuff.

I liked the girl gang concept a lot (I would have even liked it more if the boss had been Kaveri Amma and not SRK, but I don't think the movie would have ever been made if that were the case) and I liked all the individual actresses.

Nayanthara - she was fabulous as the task-force cop and looked so good doing action scenes. I love her.

Deepika Padukone - she's so gorgeous and I had some Om Shanti Om vibes with this, which is a movie that I really love. And the emotional parts were pretty good too.

While the political messaging was extremely heavy-handed, I did like that it came up in the movie, especially the part about voting. (When they stole the voting machines, I couldn't help but wonder if the scriptwriters had been listening to any of the insane election 2020 denialism in the US :P Was Hugo Chavez behind any of this? :P) However, maybe the script would have been tighter if they had targeted ONE social ill, instead of all of them?

Vijay Sethupathi - I will always just really like him whatever he's doing, because I'm like a duckling about movies and I imprint on actors based on what I first saw them in*, and I saw VJS in Farsi first, and loved him in that. SO ...

There was enough humor that I didn't feel like it was entirely taking itself seriously which is important in this kind of a film (though you didn't have to show people rolling around laughing to cue us to laugh, director Atlee!!) Let your script do its thing, dude! (Oh, wait, I forgot that the script was ... the script that it was. Which brings me to the bad):

The bad:

I'm sorry but the de-aging VFX for SRK was honestly a bit creepy - people drag Nayanthara for having work done, but I'll take her still-human face over the plastic-y face Azad. When he pulled the bald sock thing off his head, I really thought he was going to peel off his entire face and show "normally aged SRK" but nope!

I just threw up my hands and laughed when they discovered Deepika was pregnant just by taking her pulse. Why do they even make pregnancy tests, am I right? And I don't know about India, but surely they would have you know, taken her blood group etc. when she was first incarcerated?

Which brings me to my VAST apology to all Tamil movies in which I have shaken my head in disbelief that a man who repeatedly has his head whacked with a metal bar or banged into a concrete pillar doesn't even have a concussion, let alone a skull fracture. No, compared to Jawan, you are all PINNACLES of realism! Because SRK was shot five times, thrown out of an airplane that was above the cloudline, fell into a body of water and didn't break any bones, AND banged his head on a rock and apparently just suffered some slight amnesia. Um, ok then! (I think the part where the dude finds him and says he's keeping his promise to Azad might have been in the first ten minutes that I missed, so maybe there's some explanation for why he didn't die - but for now, I just have to assume he was the incarnation of Grigorii Rasputin. And I will almost certainly never watch this movie a second time, so it will just have to remain a mystery unless someone can explain to me in the comments or something.

The music was completely forgettable. There wasn't a single song that I can even remember the tune of, nothing catchy, no memorable lyrics etc. That WAS disappointing.

Random new subplots that made NO SENSE. Like what was the whole thing about stealing the elections with mafia money? Why was that even in there? And if it had to be in there, why didn't the SRKs just leave him to the mercy of those people who would have murdered him inventively for losing their money? And if they just wanted SRKs to kill him the way he got Aishwarya killed, then why include that subplot? None of that subplot made any sense at all. (Actually very little of that plot made any sense.)

Another thing was the women's jail/rest home. If that is prison, I am surprised more people weren't clamoring to be incarcerated. It looked much nicer than living on a farm. It was super clean and they seemed to have a ton of freedom even before Azad became the warden.

The way Nayanthara was completely sidelined in the second half. I also have no idea why she decided to marry SRK after five minutes. (And they totally stole her costumes in Chaliye from the Kannala Kannala song in "Thani Oruvan" - a far, far better song than any of the songs in Jawan. (See below)

youtube

So all in all, I did enjoy the film and I'm glad I saw it, despite its flaws. But this is not a rewatch for the nuances type of film!

*Kay Kay Menon, Tabu, and Shahid Kapoor fan for life because I first saw them in Haider. Which is definitely the best movie Shahid Kapoor has ever made, but Farzi was really excellent too and Shahid and Kay Kay were in it alongside VJS. Watch eeeeeeet!

#jawan #Bollywood films #shah rukh khan #2023 movies I have watched #Youtube

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demona-andariel · 9 months

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Object of Obsession - 39 / 46

Fandom: Halloween

Pairing: Michael Myers x OFC

Summary: In Haddonfield everyone knows the legend that was Michael Myers. Content and at ease, they’d forgotten what it was to feel fear in the month of October. But now, he finds himself back and ready for blood but then a bond forms between him and one of his victims. A bond he can’t seem to break. And it starts to make him do things he never thought of doing before.

Warnings: (Encompassing the whole story in no particular order) kidnapping, noncon, explicit sexual content, smut, loss of virginity, rough sex, blood and violence, knifeplay, canon-typical violence

Author Note: Minors DNI!

Word Count: 3,398

Chapter 39 - Hello, Nathan

Nathan's body pulsed with rage and annoyance making his headache worse. Stupid headache had been plaguing him for almost three days. Somehow he managed to keep his feelings from showing as he put on a fake look of interest.

"And, last John Doe." The mortician's assistant, Abrams, pulled the final drawer revealing the last body.

"Huh," Nathan said. His eyes slowly wandered down the long row of dead bodies. Ten people killed in a single day. "These three look different," he pointed out.

Abrams nodded. "Yeah. These three we found in an unmarked SUV. No ID. Only that one over there doesn't seem like a typical Myers kill."

Nathan nodded his head and reached out.

"Awe, shit! Don't touch him, man," Abrams shouted. "We haven't had time to do any autopsies yet."

Nathan pulled his hand back. "Sorry, just, noticed there was a cut on his wrist."

Abrams nodded. He put on a pair of gloves and turned the dead man's hands over. "Both actually. He was the worst off of these three. Super bloody and shit. Let's see." He pointed at one of the other bodies. "Broken neck looks like. But that one? No idea. We're going to have to open him up and see what his insides look like. He doesn't have any outward wounds. Could have just died of a heart attack when Myers attacked his friends." He shrugged. "We'll see later… I guess technically today."

"Huh," Nathan said as he took a step back. He absentmindedly rubbed his left shoulder as chills ran through his body.

Oh, gods.

"Looks like Dr. Loomis hired those seven to take on Michael Myers. Maybe he hired these three as well to follow the killer? We're not sure and Dr. Loomis isn't talking yet."

Dammit, dad. Why didn't you tell me? Fuck.

Nathan pulled out a wad of bills and handed it to Abrams.

"Thanks."

Abrams snatched the money as if he was worried Nathan was going to go back on his word.

"Anything for a Myers enthusiasts," he said as he not so subtly counted the cash. "I'm one myself, but uh, don't tell anyone. Kinda taboo around these parts."

Nathan shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't around to make friends. He was trying to find his cousin. And he had a feeling, he found her. No. It wasn't just a feeling. He knew he found her.

He'd arrived in Haddonfield the day before, hoping against hope, that the tidbit of information he'd received was wrong. That the apparent captive young woman, Michael Myers had taken a liking too, wasn't his cousin. That Gretchen's luck wasn't so shitty to land her in the hands of a psycho killer.

His hopes were promptly shattered earlier that very day.

Nathan had found the doctor who apparently had treated the young woman, who seemed to be pretty ill. The poor doctor looked terrified as she recounted her tale. She had seen Gretchen.

His poor cousin was in a horrible, probably delusional state. Michael had brought her in for help. Undoubtedly, the effect her pills had on her had worn off and her body was trying to figure out how to handle the rush of power that was in her.

The doctor was pretty sure Michael wasn't going to kill his cousin. She had expected to die and was surprised when she woke up alive. She clearly wanted to leave town, but her husband apparently refused. They had a police car parked out front at all times, keeping watch over their house. There was little doubt in his mind that they were hoping to spring a trap on Myers. Hoping he'd come back to finish the doctor, but only to meet their police and his end.

Except, he didn't go looking for her. Apparently, Myers returned to his old home. But that too had been a trap, although no one even realized it. By the time the cops arrived at the house, Myers was gone and seven people were dead.

"Well, hopefully Dr. Loomis makes it. I told you he was Michael's old psychologist, right? I mean, you're an enthusiast. You know about their history. Heard his surgery went well, but ya never know. Dude's old as fuck. Crazy bastard still has a hardon for killing Myers."

Nathan watched the man stuff the cash in his back pocket. Although both men were roughly the same age, in their mid-twenties, Abrams had an air of immaturity about him. Nathan had immediately pegged the assistant as his way to view the bodies that had been discovered a few hours ago. He wasn't wrong. A couple drinks, a little bit of talk, with one final push of promised cash, and Abrams was soon showing off the bodies of the dead.

The first seven didn't interest Nathan in the slightest. Myers killed them. There was no doubt about that. It was the last three he needed to see. He needed to know.

"He might even have a groupie with him," Abrams added.

"What?" Nathan asked, his eyes narrowing with annoyance. His headache grew worse.

"Well, seems like he was seen with a young woman. Took her to the local clinic. I mean, there be crazy people out there. I just never thought he had it in him. Seemed like one of those only-interested-in-killing types. If you know what I mean," Abrams said as he started pushing the bodies back into the freezer.

"Thank you for your time," Nathan said as he rubbed his left shoulder.

"Hey, man," Abrams called out. "Wanna-"

Nathan waved his hand in the air as he left. No, he didn't. He had a lot of questions that needed fucking answers.

Nathan made his way back to his motel room that was on the outskirts of town.

"Fucking secrets," he growled as he slammed the door to his room just a little too hard. He tossed his phone onto his bed before he rubbed his temples. "Calm down," he whispered to himself. He slowly opened his eyes and stared at his phone.

"Fuck." Picking it up, he pressed on his father's name. His eyes spotted the early AM hour. His father was probably sleeping but it didn't matter, he was going to keep calling him until-

"Hey, Nathan," he picked up after the second ring. "Are you alright?"

"Dad," Nathan said curtly. There was something about his father's voice that made him pause for a brief moment. He was awake.

"How are you-"

"What the fuck, dad?" Nathan blurted out. "You knew where she was the whole time, didn't you?" The silence on the other side was proof enough for him. "A serial killer had Gretchen this whole time and you knew about it? You had me searching all over the place for her when all you had to say was 'Go to Haddonfield, Nathan'. Fuck, dad!"

"Nathan, I-"

"The things he's probably done to her. Doing to her now. You should have told me. We could have-"

"He's not going to hurt her," his father interrupted.

"How do you-"

His father deeply exhaled. "She called me a few hours ago. She's fine. She wants to be with him."

The world seemed to drop from under his feet. He always knew his cousin was a bit strange due to her visions. He never imagined she'd be one to fall for a serial killer.

"Stockholm syndrome," Nathan said.

Jethro let out a loud sigh. "Maybe, but you shouldn't be there yet, Nathan."

"Why's that?" Nathan asked.

"Because she saw Michael kill us. Yes, I should have told you before," Jethro quickly added as Nathan opened his mouth to interrupt. "But, I was sure you were going to try to save her from her fate and get yourself killed like she saw."

Nathan sat down on the bed and shook his head. "Your men are dead," he muttered.

"I know. They moved too soon, but I've got another group nearby. They're already ready and waiting. Nathan. Just leave Haddonfield for the day."

Nathan frowned. "Why the day?"

Jethro hesitated again, much to his annoyance.

"Seriously, dad?"

He heard a long drawn out sigh from the other end. "Michael dies on her birthday. We'll have her back. But until then, while he's still alive, neither of us are safe in Haddonfield."

Nathan froze. For some reason, his heart pounded wildly in his chest at the thought. A memory triggered in his brain. One that had haunted him for years. The first time she'd stopped taking the pills that were making her better. It was then that he saw there was more she could do than see visions. Then that he realized she had killed her parents. Then that he realized just how dangerous she truly was.

"She loves him, doesn't she?" Nathan asked.

The silence from his father's end answered his question.

"She's going to try and protect him," Nathan said. "Maybe I should go with your men tomorrow. Seeing me will probably confuse her."

"Nathan," Jethro said, sounding not to happy about his son's decision.

"Dad, I won't let Myers kill me," Nathan said.

"No, Nathan. I forbid it. You will leave Haddonfield today and come home. We'll both travel up together on her birthday so by the time we get here it'll be past the day. I'm not taking any chances with our lives. This is why I didn't tell you, Nathan. I knew you'd throw yourself at him to get her back. I couldn't risk it. I'm just trying to save your life, son."

Nathan didn't reply as he stared at his reflection on the old TV in the room. His face looked distorted on the black screen.

"Okay, dad," he relented. "I'm going to grab my stuff and come back home. We have a lot we need to discuss."

"Yes, Nathan. We do. Love you, son," his father said with audible relief in his voice. "See you soon."

"Yeah," Nathan replied. "See you soon, dad."

He hung up then powered down his phone, tossing it onto the bed.

"Fuck, Nathan. What are you doing?" he asked as he started to pace. He ran his fingers through his brown hair then pressed his hand against the back of his neck, rolling his head side to side.

He went to his duffel bag and rummaged through the contents. Pulling out his handgun, he checked it before setting it on his bed.

"Sorry, cuz," he muttered.

Chills ran through his body as he took off his shirt and headed into the bathroom. He loved her. She was his cousin after all. But she fucking terrified him.

He turned on the shower and then stared at his reflection in the mirror. His left shoulder had a nasty scar running along it.

It was the only time she stopped taking her meds that suppressed her powers. The sudden access to what she was had overwhelmed her. He didn't know it at the time.

Nathan had come home early that day, intent on surprising his family.

No one was home at the time. Or so he thought. But then he found her. In her room, fiercely drawing. He hadn't seen her in that state in a long time. Somehow, she'd gotten away with not taking her meds while under his father's roof.

She'd looked up at him. Her eyes wild then she had smiled.

"Nathan!"

He had took one step towards her when the mood suddenly shifted. Her eyes widened with fear and she threw herself back.

"Stay away from me! No. Don't hurt me. Please. Stop. Nathan, help me!" She had started to scream as she scurried to the other end of the room.

His immediate reaction was to try and calm her down. Wherever her mind was it wasn't in the present.

That was a mistake. He didn't feel the pain at first. But out of the corner of his left eye he saw her hand on his shoulder.

"I can't. I'm sorry. He'll hurt me." She looked so distraught and conflicted. It had confused him. He had watched as she sat back on her haunches. Her drawing pencil stuck in his shoulder. She had stabbed him.

It was pain that knocked him out of his stupor. His blood felt as if it were on fire. The flesh around the pencil felt as if it were being ripped back. She was speaking, but her words weren't English. Her eyes weren't there. He knew he was screaming. His insides felt as if they were melting. Luck was on his side though. Apparently, his father had gotten home around that time. Managed to knock her out before she could kill him.

But, before she lost consciousness she'd said something rather puzzling.

Gods! She would have killed him if it weren't for his father. And now? She was off her meds again, making her dangerous and unpredictable.

Nathan stepped into the warm shower to refresh himself. He trusted his father. Trusted the old man knew what he was doing by letting such a powerful weapon live a "free" life. Because that's what she was, he had realized. A weapon. He stayed close to her because he knew what she could do. Because he felt responsible for making sure not she stayed sane. His father had promised him that once she was twenty-three she'd be back home and under heavier watch.

-A very beautiful weapon.-

Nathan frowned. Turning off the shower, he wrapped a towel and wrapped it around his waist then went back to the room. He picked up his handgun and walked back to the bathroom. Setting it on the sink, he wiped the condensation from the mirror.

"Sorry, cousin," he said softly. He tapped his fingers in the hard steel. He couldn't let her live. Especially, if she was going to be with and protect a serial killer. What a pair they would make. Michael would be unstoppable and Nathan had no idea what Gretchen was capable of. He had a feeling his father knew. Either way, didn't matter.

A terrible knowledge zapped through him.

That's what she saw, wasn't it. The thing he swore he try to make sure didn't happen. She saw him trying to kill her, which made her defend herself. He couldn't exactly blame her. He had thought that it was something else. She had asked for his help. He thought he was going to have to protect her from someone. Yes, he would have to protect her from someone. From herself.

Sorry, Gretchen.

He'd failed. He swore her vision wouldn't come true. She looked so terrified and sad. But it was going to come true. He was going to hurt her. He was going to kill her.

-No.-

"Motherfucker," he snarled as his headache intensified. He clenched his muscles and bent his head. Slowly, his fingers wrapped around the gun handle and he felt his arm raise. A frown crossed he brow as he pointed it to his forehead.

What the fuck?

He clicked his tongue.

“Boom,” his voice taunted him. His hand moved down, setting the gun on the sink counter. He placed his hands flat and leaned in close to the mirror a cruel smile crossed his lips. “Hello, Nathan,” his own voice said.

What? He struggled to move his body, but nothing listened to him. He could only stare back at himself.

"Sorry I had to take such drastic measures, but you left me no choice. I was just going to ride along, take over one of your other men when we go rescue my love. We could have been one tiny happy family. You, your dad, me, my beloved Gretchen. But, you're a threat. Trying to kill my love when we're so close to finally being together again like we were meant to be."

His face smiled.

Nathan willed his body to move, but he couldn't do anything.

"So, Michael dies tomorrow, huh?" his voice asked. "Good. For once, she doesn't die before he does."

Internally, Nathan felt as if he were struggling, fighting, desperately trying to regain the control he didn't realize he'd lost. He felt as if he were clawing inside of his body to get out. But, outwardly, his hands moved without his permission. He felt him explore his body.

"Brandon," came the reply. That name. "Hmm. I mean, it's not my body, but not bad either. Bet that hurt though." He rubbed his left shoulder.

You were the one they found dead. Michael's first victim of the year is what they said.

"He caught me off guard. Didn't expect the bastard to come back like that," Brandon replied as he touched his skin.

Nathan struggled to move his body. It was his body, not this Brandon's.

His own voice laughed at his attempt. He leaned in close to the mirror, his eyes gazing back at him. A sly smile crossed his lips.

“What do you say you and I get her back for this lovely scar she left on your body.” He cocked his head to one side. "Our body?"

No!

His own voice laughed again. He hated it. Hated the fact that he was moving but it wasn't him. “You know. Cousins used to marry back in the day."

Don't you fucking dare touch her, you sicko.

"Nathan," Brandon said with another laugh. "You wanted to kill her! Changed your mind already?"

Kill her to save the world. Save her from herself. Not fuck her. She's my little cousin.

Brandon snorted. "And she's my girlfriend. To be fair, this is as much her fault as it is your own. Me having to take this drastic measure. Had you not been so intent on wanting to kill her, I wouldn't have taken over your body. We both know I wouldn't have been able to stop you if I took anyone else over. And, had she not banished me from that stupid house, well... we wouldn't be here. But maybe it's a good thing she did. You would have pissed me off if you killed her. Your family does that. Doesn't want to deal with the crazy events that always follow her so they tend to let her die. Fucking annoying when you finally come to yourself and find out your soulmate has already died."

Nathan continued to struggle then froze. He felt as if something cold and slimy was wrapping around him. Eyes stared back at him. His but also not his. He focused back on himself as Brandon stared back at him through the mirror.

"I know this is going to frustrate you. Honestly, I would rather let you drift off into peaceful sleep. Let your soul loose from this body. But, well, I kinda need you. My soul is... not completely intact anymore."

Nathan wanted to thrash but he remained frozen, trapped in his own mind. Something seemed to slowly envelop him. Fuse with his essence. The energy he felt as he tried to regain control of his body disappeared, leaving him "hanging" there.

Brandon let out a loud yawn and grabbed the gun, walking back to the bedroom. "But, I forgive her for what she did. She's just confused as always and forgot how strong she is. He does that to her, you know. Makes her believe he's her soulmate but in reality it's always been me. Our souls were bound ages ago."

He set the gun down by the nightstand.

"Don't worry, Nathan. I won't tell her you were planning on killing her. And you won't be fucking her. I will. Now, let's get some sleep. There are a few things I need to do later today before we're finally reunited tomorrow."

Nathan felt as if he were in some sort of void, while also somehow still anchored to his body.

How?

A conversation he had with her a couple years ago in her apartment popped into his head.

“Gretchen. Do the events you see always come true?”

“I think so. I mean, sometimes I misinterpret stuff."

It suddenly made sense. He'd come to the wrong conclusion. Gods, dammit! He shouldn't have pushed her away. He should have worked with her to figure out her visions so he knew exactly what was coming. He could have avoided this. Probably.

Should have, could have, would have. If onlys. In the end he didn't. They didn't. He went along with his father in keeping it a secret what she could do. He even took it a step further by pretending she didn't have visions. By trying to make her doubt herself because he had hoped that she'd eventually give up and stop paying attention them. That she'd try to be "normal".

He'd fucked up. They'd fucked up. They were going down the path she saw because they chose to stick their heads in the sand instead of being proactive.

Gretchen's final words before she lost consciousness that day she'd attacked him came back to him.

"You're not Nathan."

I'm so sorry, Gretchen.

Chapter 40 - Up Against a Wall

#michael myers x oc #smut #horror #noncon tw #slashers #fanfiction #michael Myers fanfic #tw noncon

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recursivetrauma · 1 year

Text

I'm job-hunting again.

Ten years ago I dropped out of school to be a homemaker. My dream was to be a game developer with my spouse. It was also to be happy with my partner and cats, and to let go of an abusive childhood.

While we were in school together I had a meltdown following domestic violence and my grades slipped, the semester after this slip I stopped showing up to our classes. I found that the anxiety from these events wasn't going to just go away. I couldn't do my work or even take an interest in it. Even reading code brought on emotional flashbacks.

I tried to keep programming off and on for years. It caused extreme frustration, feelings that couldn't be explained yet because I was mistaking serious mental illness brought on by trauma for regular depression and personal inferiority. I felt like I was struck stupid, and then that I had always been stupid, and then that there was no point in trying because I would never be good enough. At this low point I was coerced into accepting a very bad deal; to be an unmarried house husband with no social safeguards. My life was in someone else's hands.

Things got much worse in my relationship. I suffered serious injuries from further violence, I was cheated on and neglected until I grew distant, and then raped, the meltdown that caused my trauma was never ending. It reached a peak when I was hospitalized from stress. I hated myself and often wanted to die.

I've tried many times to return to computer science. I'm still trying, kind of, but mostly because I have to do something to survive that isn't labor.

I recently did well at a Data bootcamp, but I haven't gotten a job four months later. I've had only two responses.

When I had an interview with Meta it was like I suddenly had IBS. I did what everyone does: grind leetcode and study in preparation. I passed a test with a recruiter. Every day I was shitting myself and quaking so much my abs hurt. My stress was awful. Then someone else was interviewed before me and got the job, and my interview was cancelled. I did another interview for a Data Engineer position for city government where I just bombed.

I'm trapped in the same recruiting hell that everyone else is. But that's not all there is to it. I truly believe that I can never succeed in the long term even if I get a job. This is a stressful career and my worst symptoms come out with external stress. I have seen the pattern of my behavior and understood what it is since I was diagnosed with CPTSD in 2019. It is a serious disability.

Eventually, as I work, I will get sucked into emotional flashbacks that last weeks, I will be overcome with pain and it will affect my performance, the way I'm treated will shift with my behavior. The causality of trauma is that you keep finding it. In 2019, I was bullied at work for the first time in my life while working in grocery. I've dealt with bullies before the trauma, but that requires a strength I don't have anymore. I need jobs I can walk out of to be safe, and tech employers want jobs with steep requirements and multiple testing interviews to make sure no-one is safe but them.

Looking at the work culture of tech, I feel myself reverse-engineering the logic that abused me. Their lives revolve around being obsessively superior, the 'grindset' is driven by fear of being surpassed by others. Unless you're one of the privileged, you live by the logic of elitism.

When I told my partner I didn't want to have sex because of the cheating, to her that was someone with a lesser station in life making demands of their superior. The cheating itself carried the logic of "I need more to balance out our partnership because you're just a loser". Gender roles as sexual economics, they're cruel because economies always are to the most replaceable classes.

There is an absolute logic to economic abuse and social status that no-one can dispel. You don't just spend the bulk of your life being a 'hustle mindset' creep and turn it off in personal relationships. That's who you are everywhere. In my mind, Tech companies driving inequality isn't just a function of technology but the people who build it. You may know that 'harassment in tech' was a news item for years, yet there no mechanism in that industry or even in our society to help survivors deal with it. It's just your problem. If you get out of this hole you teach everyone the lesson that 'anyone can do it', and if you don't you're ignored forever. Even the way we view victims is steeped in elitism.

This idea works fairly well being plugged into various scenarios. After our relationship ended I was mocked on twitter as an inferior. Someone who should've known their place and been more thankful. No-one bothered to question the weird narrative shift from 'my sweet, supporting partner' to 'my evil, worthless ex who wouldn't respect my power'. There is no moral difference here, simply knowing that I was worth less is supposed to carry all the credibility of publicly abusive statements. I could write pages and pages on how viciously economic elitism, and the abuse that follows can shape two people and the social circles around them.

I'm still trying. I see some classmates getting jobs and others returning to amazon fulfillment. I read experiences on this process - It's shocking to realize that normal people are experiencing the same stresses I am, not because of an exceptional series of abusive acts but because of the pressure exerted by the regular economy on them. I'm tempted to say Capitalism is as bad as life-ruining abuse, but for some that's what it is in the first place.

I don't think it's an accident that I did so well in my class. It didn't revolve around the same culture as employment does. I felt confident, social, likeable even. If I had just somehow dropped directly into work from that position, maybe I would've been okay.

I really just want to be safe and I don't know how else to do that. If it weren't for one of my injuries degenerating into arthritis I would already be in a fulfillment center or working grocery.

It occurred to me this week that I wanted to make video games with someone I loved and that's how I got here. I despise that romanticism now, but I feel emptier living without it.

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focusandrelaxforme · 10 months

Text

Documenting My Subject's Hypno Slavery Journey (Part 8)

- After her subdrop, we took things easy for a bit before getting back into it. Add to that her incoming trip, and just general busyness, and finding time for proper sessions has been difficult.

- That said, my plan is to come up with a more structured approach that will effectively leave her with instructions and guidance even when I can't interact with her directly in the moment.

- Part of that is having her be more available to her husband, so that she gets the feeling of being used.

--------

Dear Diary,

I feel like I haven't wrote in so long...but in reality its only been a day.. Not a lot has happened since my last entry. I suffered from a bit of a rough sub drop and Master let me take the day to recover. He offered to give me a bit more freedom, but I declined. That makes me feel a bit empty. He was very easy on me...except my "rest" day still involved a 10 min killer ab workout haha. But don't tell him.. I really don't mind.. i crave the control. I need to be under his control...and I desperately need to obey. The last couple days Master has been busy with work and the holiday. And I'm sure he is very tired. So I have found myself alone a lot. Which really only makes me realize how much I crave the control. I really need to find myself a hobby to do when he is busy.. or something he can assign to me. Ill have to think about that. Is it weird that I've grown to miss someone that I've only known for a week? I don't want to be seen as a crazy person. I just got used to him being there I guess. Thankfully he has still been in and out to give me little instructions...which has helped keep.me in check. He instructed me to go deep to do this journal and omg am I going deep right now. Sooo deep. I haven't been this deep in a few days and woah. Spinny!

Anyway.. idk what I am even talking about at this point. Master has promised me that he would help me deal with my anxiety and insecurities. Its embarrassing to admit that I even have the. O want to come across as a sexy confident slave...but with him i melt. And no Master, not like the creepy Indiana jones gif you sent me.

On Sunday we spent all day being sarcastic and fun. I genuinely enjoy my conversations with him...and i hope he feels the same. He has a great sense of humor...and makes me laugh like an idiot at my phone a lot. On Monday I woke up feeling relaxed...and upon putting in my lush for the day, I started to go deep. Maybe it's my lush causing it now? Is that a trigger? Anyway.. i found myself filled with energy and feeling so sassy and confident. I almost feel like I cant mess anything up...like I couldn't make a mistake if I tried. Its weird.. like I felt perfect. It lasted for a few hours at work again like Saturday.. where I was able to be high functioning while also being a deep slave for Master. Something caused me to fall out if it though after a some time. I started to get anxiety and then I was back aware. I was sad to not be happy and deep anymore. Being deep feels so nice. I feel like a happy, calm person . And i feel like my whole body is on edge and just waiting for my Masters next message. I enjoy it.. i have never had these experiences before.

Master has changed my lush instructions a bit to be a little bit safer for my body...just in case. So now I only wear it in the morning until lunch and then sometimes for a little bit at nigh for my workout. Maybe because its a trigger who knows. Well...except him. He knows everything haha.

Today he was at a forth of July party so I was home a lot alone.. but he gave me instructions to be a good slave and show my husband how much freedom. He gets for the 4th. I was to practice my obedience by telling him how deeply enslaved I am and by offering him my mouth all day. He surprisingly only took advantage of it once...and oh my.. was I deep. Master instructed me to forget about it.. but I fully remember now. i laid down my baby for a nap and then went and crawled into bed with him. He snuggled up ne t to my butt..as he always does.. and I shyly whispered that I was enslaved... in hopes he wouldn't judge me.. and then asked if he would like a blow job. He said he was alright at first...because he was half asleep.. but then about 20 mins later he woke me for it. i don't even know what came over me.. I love sucking cock normally...but I reallllly loved it today. I found my pussy aching around my lush as I licked repeatedly up and down my husbands cock and balls. He was moaning and telling me how great it felt. And I kept teasing him with mg tongue and then I would take his cock in my mouth and press it deep... i would fuck my face slowly and then quickly until i gagged on his cock.. then I would go back to licking. This went on for probably 25 mins.. and I couldn't get enough. I just felt hungry . I wanted to be so obedient for my Master.. My husband reached over and pulled down my PJs at one point and found my lush pressed into my pussy. He was a little shocked i think...and rubbed my pussy a little. It felt nice...but no where near as nice as when I was slamming his cock into my mouth for my Master. I could have cum from just that.. but I didn't ask when Master gave me the instructions.. so I was good and just let myself get to the edge. My husband finally came after I started moaning a little and whining.. i couldn't really speak...because I was so deep and into the blowjob.. he stroked his cock for me while I licked his balls and he came on top his stomach. Then I just zoned out and laid on the bed for a few minutes until i was a real person again. Then I found myself happy and bubbly for a while until my anxiety and insecurities settled back in again. I then convinced my husband to take me to get food...and I cried in the car.. not because of Master...but because of my trip coming up. I'm so stressed. How does one accept that their Mother has died.. when you lived in another state and hadn't spoken to her in months.

I don't want to be depressing and I have already filled a whole notepad at this point. Woah.

Umm anyway. I freaking miss my Master.. and I hate it. Why do I miss him. Quit being cute. (But really don't please)

Haha. Anyway ..im watching your comments! Feel free to say hi Xoxo I wrote way too much..

sorry,

slave.

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#hypno girl #hypno journal #hypnokink #hypnotized girl #kittysub #hypnosis #irlhypnosis #hypnosub

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dandylion240 · 2 years

Note

And all of them for any of them for Maja, as I need to learn more about her

1.Would you hug a stranger? How close someone has to be to get a hug?

No I would not. I would have to know someone really well before I go around hugging them.

2. Have you tried some exotic/weird food? How was it? Would you eat it again?

It depends on what you call exotic. To me pizza is exotic. It's not something I've ever had up until recently I had almost steady diet of fish and kelp.

3. If you had to give up one sense, which one would it be?

Oh that's a difficult choice but I'm a musician so I need to hear, to see and to touch. So maybe smell? I mean I can still play and sing and not be able to smell.

4. How good are you at remembering dates? What about numbers in general?

I keep close tabs on my calendar so that I don't miss any gigs and I'm more into musical notes and scores than facts and figures.

5. Do you like cold or hot weather more? Why?

I'm used to the cold and I feel like I'm wilting if I'm outside too long in the summer time.

6. Would you rather spend a date night somewhere quiet or in a more crowded place (e.g. club, festival, amusement park, etc.)

I love going out to clubs or concerts. Any place where there's music.

7. What shows your emotions more, your words or your actions?

My songs. I can put my feelings into music more than words or actions.

8. Is curiosity good or bad thing in your opinion? What makes you curious?

You know what they say, curiosity killed the cat. That being said curiosity led me here so it can't be all that bad.

9. Balloons or confetti?

Neither really. You wouldn't like them either if you've seen what balloons and confetti do to the environment.

10. Have you ever had an animal to eat from your hand? Do animals usually like you?

There's nothing like feeding a dolphin. I love all kinds of animals and they just know I mean them no harm.

11. Would you rather be stranded in a huge deserted field or locked alone in a room, for following two weeks?

Both sound absolutely horrid. I could probably do a huge deserted field if that field had a lake or something.

12. Do you prefer to sleep with socks or without them? Do you usually even wear socks?

I don't wear socks until recently I didn't even wear shoes.

13. Do you tend to get sick easily? If so, what do you do to prevent that? If not, what’s your secret to strong immune system?

I don't think I've ever been sick. I think I'm immune to most human illnesses.

14. What is your first language? How many languages can you speak?

I know quite a few languages. Mer, Simlish, Dolphin, etc.

15. Do you like drawing/painting? What’s your preferred art tool?

Music. That's the only art form I need.

16. Are you more organised or disorganised person? Or maybe you like to plan only certain aspects of your life?

I'm very organised and I plan everything out before I do anything. I have to know what I'm doing before I start. Of course you can't plan for everything but I'm seldom caught off guard.

17. Would you choose a dream car or a dream house?

Dream car I guess. That way I can travel between gigs. I don't know what I'd do with a house.

18. Are you the type of the person that would laugh when someone else falls? Or would you rush to help? Maybe you would just walk by without reaction?

I suppose I'd stop and help if they looked like they needed it but if it looked like someone was already assisting them and I was in a hurry than I'd probably just keep on going.

19. How often do you travel? What you like the most about it?

I haven't done too much traveling yet but I can see myself doing a lot of it once I have my music degree.

20. Do like stargazing? Do you believe in shooting star wishes?

There's nothing like a sky full of stars. I don't honestly know if I've ever made a wish upon a star but if I did I know what I'd wish for.

Thank you for asking!

@wannabecatwriter correct me if I got anything wrong. I'm still learning her personality.

#maja lundstrom #ts3 #character development

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parameddic · 1 year

Text

not to still be on the nikolai verse but thinking about owen strand in tk's verse with nikolai:

this guy shows up out of nowhere, really, just sort of materialises at the firehouse with evidently a long history of knowing TK already, when they've only just moved to austin

TK did leave him a voice message "i'm bowling with a friend" but it's not until way way waaaaay later when TK meets Nadya and mentions it in passing that Owen realises that the bowling actually happened, and that Nikolai was the friend (it did not fit into the reply but the -- "You took him bowling?" / "Yeah, I left you a voice message." the way TK sort of deflates because wow you really Haven't been paying any attention, huh)

Owen is not the only one who gets a Vibe from Nikolai and he speaks to Judd about it and Judd says TK insists Nikolai's safe, for him (which means Judd has spoken to TK about it at length, maybe?)

chatter around the firehouse is more or less that TK repeatedly insists they're not dating but Owen has not actually seen his son light up at the words "[Name] is here" the way he does when Nikolai is here. not even when he was dating Alex. this is new, Owen hasn't seen it before

Nikolai, for his part of it, seems unsure he is wanted or welcome at the firehouse despite TK bringing him in and inviting him to their events. Owen has likely sat down with Nikolai at some point to try to get a 'feel' for him and what he means to 'My Son'. it probably was not a great conversation (i might write a starter for it if i can bring myself to write owen strand)

that's not to mention that the team call him dumpster guy because this, evidently, was a patient the EMS team treated months ago, from a dumpster, when he had been stabbed multiple times, and everyone just acts like that's a normal thing that normally happens to people (Paul asked Nikolai once if there'd been any progress in pressing charges; Nikolai's answer had not been as smooth as Nikolai might have liked, and TK intervened to say "hey, paul, not at the lunch table," which could have been appetite related or 'covering something up' related)

not to be overbearing but every time owen has asked TK to pee in a cup after he disappears overnight, and once at random, it's come back clean. Tommy has expressly told him to stop with the unprovoked tests. "He's just happy."

they literally live together but when Owen asks TK what Nikolai does or how they got to know each other TK won't give him a straight answer. 'he works in security, I think' ("That makes sense, have you seen the guy?" Owen asked, and the way TK sort of... bristled with it), and there's been more of that - the not getting straight answers always, or TK deliberately pushing him away. That night he grabbed the first aid kit and left the house, took Owen's car, turned off the tracker? Come on. That's something to worry about

But TK hasn't missed a single meeting or therapy session, his sponsor says he is going well, TK shows up to work on time (less that one night he disappeared, but he showed up sober and twenty minutes late, if a little ill-rested), and there's not really any evidence for anything. Owen tried to find out more about the guy, googled him, and nothing came up. Gwyn says he's overreacting ("So he made a friend who's good for him, Owen. That's a good thing."), but it's hard to explain the situation over the phone, really

And when he tries to talk to TK -- "I'm worried about you." / "Because of Nikolai?" / "Because I know you." / "I'm not going to relapse again, dad." when he tries to talk to TK he gets deflected and told to keep out of it, like keeping out of other people's business is something he's ever done in his life

unrelated but when they meet Nadya she seems so much more normal. so much more like just an ordinary person living an ordinary life and worried about her brother the way Owen is worried about TK. he would probably speak to Nadya too, oh no ("Is your brother going to hurt my son?" absolutely not, is the answer to that question)

thinking about owen's ongoing misgivings. Nikolai seems nice, in places, sure, but he sorta keeps ending up in harm's way at a rate much higher than a civillian really ought to end up in harm's way, and nobody will give him a straight answer about him, and he's asked around (because he thinks it's his job to, he is wrong) about who this guy is and nobody seems to know, except that he's Russian, and Owen has some Russian connections (used to play poker in New York, it was a whole thing) so he asks them too but still there's not really anything definite about this guy

thinking about. owen strand in tk's Nikolai verse

#v; nikolai #thinking thoughts thinking thoughts thinking thoughts #long post for ts

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anti-social-butterfly111 · 2 years

Text

Confliction Between the Brain and the HeartPt 3

Aliyah's POV

I've been in my room since the party started not really being in the mood for people but I knew eventually I would have to get up not wanting to be rude we are hosting the party after all

KNOCK KNOCK

"Come in"

I looked at the door as I seen Zack appear

"Hey the party started a hour ago you would usually be the first one out so I came to check up on you"

"Oh yea im fine ill be out in a minute just haven't been in the mood"

"Yea I know you've been pretty grumpy and I know you're having problems with Becca so I'm here to listen"

I stared at Zack not really knowing what to say how to say it

I was about to start until Zack started seeing that I couldn't put my feelings into words

"So from what I've gathered from my detective skills you are dating a girl in the closet aka Becca and it has caused problems"

"Yea"

"I need more than a yea if I'm going to be any kind of help"

"Well we've been seeing eachother for a couple of months now and she is a amazing girl and I really like her a lot but she isn't out on campus yet and I don't want to rush her out because I know how terrifying it can be but the secrecy in everything we do is becoming too much for me having to lie to my friends about where I'm going and who with trying to find time in our schedules where we can hang out without her friends interfering also car hookups are not the most comfortable which is why we ended up here a couple of times" i said bashfully because I just spilled out my feelings and also knowing that he had heard me and Becca damn these thin walls

I look at Zack who is smiling at me

"Look i can tell you like her a lot and this is a tough situation where Noone is necessarily right or wrong but you should try to talk to her at some point tonight you guys have some things to work out"

"You're right I'll call her"

"No need she's here you should probably put on something a little less Tik Tok fuck girl" he says looking at me in my sports bra gym shorts and chain

"Hey" isaid and threw a pillow as he laughed and closed the door behind him

I rolled my eyes as I started getting ready

Becca's POV

I sat at the party chatting with my friends finding myself looking up everytime I heard a door open and close still no sign of Aliyah I have spent my whole life feeling like im living for other people dating guys because I felt like that's what I had to do because that's what my dad says I have to do but guys don't make me happy Aliyah does and she has shown me more love in a couple of months than he has my whole life she showed how it feels to be in a happy relationship she showed me why everyone was always so infatuated with the idea of being in love and he showed me that you have to do this or no man would want you do that or no man will want you ive spent my whole life chasing after his approval and its gotten me nowhere after I told him that I liked girls he completely disregarded my feelings made me feel disgusting and even though my mom and sister were super supportive his reaction made me scared to tell anyone else when my mom found out about what he said they got into a huge argument plus them having marriage problems already due to my dad's serial cheating and disrespect my mom filed for divorce with them both being successful business entrepreneurs on their own before marriage everything was split fifty fifty i was so proud of my mom when she got out of that marriage I seen the biggest smile I've seen from her in a while when it was finalized but I still looked for his approval

"Becca Becca"

Huh" I said as I snapped back into reality

"Hey I'm about to go get drinks come with me" Madison said with a concerned look in her eyes

I got up and followed Madison but was confused when we passed the kitchen she pulled me into a bathroom as it was the only place that was not occupied

We sat in silence as she stared at me waiting on me to say something but I remained quiet

She rolled her eyes as she seen that I was not going to say anything

"Look Becca I've seen you change in these last couple of months in the best way possible you've smiled a lot more and you seen genuinely happy and that has made me so excited for you" she said looking at me as I avoided eye contact

"Um yea I've been finding myself lately"

"Bex I'm your best friend you know you can tell me anything right"

"Umm yea are you ready to go get the drinks yet"

"Becca seriously anything and if you want to talk about what or who has been making you so happy lately no matter if their a boy or girl"

I looked at Madison as she looked at me with soft eyes

"Maddie i I've been seeing someone and they make me very happy happier than I've ever been and their amazing and loving and the most compassionate person I've ever met but"

"Becca i already know but I want you to tell me so you can finally accept it truly and be happy with yourself"

"I'm I i"

Madison put a supportive hand on my shoulder giving me a gentle look

"Maddie I'm gay" I said as I started to cry and she pulled me into a hug rubbing my back supportively I've never truly loved and excepted that part of me and hearing me fully say it out loud felt like a breath of fresh air even when I told my family I never fully said it because I was scared I didn't accept that part of myself and now I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulder I finally feel like I can breathe

I cried for 10 minutes letting out years of hurt fear and internalized homophobia towards myself and Madison let me not letting go once

A couple of seconds later I took a deep breath and let go as Madison did the same

"How did you know"

"Becca we have been best friends for years I always wondered why you never cared about a knight in shining armour until I realized that maybe you were waiting for a queen instead ive just been waiting on you to tell me"

"I thank you really"

"No need were best friends i will always be here for anything you need"

"So now that we got that out of the way who is it"

A bright smile that i couldn't help came to my face as I thought of her "it's Aliyah, you know her"

"Oh I don't know plays guitar the drums can sing her ass in a band the girl who half of heartfeld has a crush on I don't know maybe "

"Ok ok I get it"

"Good for you she's pretty hot and I've heard she's pretty good in..."

"Hey"

"I personally don't swing that way its just something I heard don't look at me"

"Well she is" I said rolling my eyes as we both laughed

"But I sense that things have not been going well these last couple of days"

"We got into a fight about us having to do everything in secret and some jealousy things"

"Well even if you're not ready to come out to everyone else you should go find her"

"Maddie I think im ready I'll start tomorrow with the rest of the sorority I just want to finally be free will you be there with me"

"Of course you don't even have to ask"

"Thank you" I said as we shared another hug

"Now go and find her you guys have some making up to do"

I opened the door with a smile feeling the relief of years of pent up feelings being let go

#beccaxmc #becca davenport #becca × mc prompts #the freshman mc #the sophomore #the senior #becca x mc #beccaandmc #coming out #wlw love #the freshman #play choices #choices stories you play

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