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#he goes like women in our society are so privileged and have so much more advantages than men

transmascpetewentz · 7 months

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A Rant About Masculinity, Cisnormativity, And Cis Gay Men

I was going to write a longer post about my ex-mutual, but I feel no need to put him specifically on the spot here because the issue is so much larger than just him, and because I really hold no ill will against him that I don't hold against all the TEHMs that reblog from him in complete support of what he says despite him claiming to be a trans ally. I think that there are two main things that contribute to the existence of a blogger like him, those being the intersection of how society feminizes both gay & trans men, and how a lot of cis gay men will perform trans allyship to make themselves feel better while still participating in a deeply transphobic culture and taking no action that targets cisnormativity in the gay community.

This ex-mutual is a person whose opinions, actions, and activism (or lack thereof) exist in a weird position. He often goes between fetishizing trans men to erasing us, to policing how we talk about our history. When I asked him whether he was transphobic, he replied talking about how he wanted to have sex with trans men, but I saw that he also made a post around the same time where he tried to "call out" a gay trans man for "fetishizing trans men" by... replying to several photos of trans men with "they're just some guys."

As you can clearly tell by now, he seems to be far more interested in feeling right and in trying to find problematic subtext in the words and actions of gay trans men than he is actually protecting us and being an ally. This is quite common amongst cis gay men who want to be progressive while not taking a stance against the TEHMism and toxic masculinity that poisons the community. And the reason behind this pattern of behavior is really simple: these men, due to their relative privileges not just for being cis but often for things like being white, thin, and perisex, oftentimes have other friends with those privileges, and if you have a large group of privileged people with relatively few people who do not have those privileges, you will likely develop bigotry. So the simple reason that these types of cis gay men do not want to confront their transphobia is because they are surrounded by others who have fallen further down the transphobia pipeline who may abandon them if they call it out.

While things like cisnormativity and toxic masculinity among cis gay men definitely do them a lot more harm than good, many will still uphold these ideas due to the way that cisnormativity benefits them relative to trans men and their lack of exposure to intersectional queer liberation movements. In my opinion, this phenomenon is what is behind cis gay men's performative allyship. They'll go on and on about how valuable gay trans men are to gay culture, but will be actively hostile to gay culture that first developed among gay trans men. They'll go on long rants about how the "toothpaste flag" is the worst thing to happen to the gay community. They'll distance themselves from gay trans men in any way they can when we're real people and not just words on a screen.

And due to many cis gay men's performative allyship clashing with their personal interest in upholding cisnormativity, they'll try to compensate for that by policing gay trans men. They'll accuse us of being the real transphobes if we step out of line or if we tell them that they're being transphobic for using obvious dogwhistles. They'll call a vague group of gay trans men "women" and call us the real transphobes for "hearing someone say 'women' and thinking 'trans men.'"

This brings me to my next point. Due to a lot of cis gay men (especially mascs/gender conforming, though fem/gnc cis gay men aren't entirely exempt) feeling hostile to the idea of having their masculinity challenged, they may contribute to feminizing other gay men who they perceive not to be as masculine as them for any number of reasons. One of these reasons being transness. Not to vaguepost about my ex-mutual even more, but he literally made a post saying "isn't it annoying when women will comment under a picture of any man saying that he's trans and gay?" This guy literally calls himself a trans ally.

I don't think that headcanoning someone as gay and trans is particularly female behavior, [redacted]. but again, this isn't a callout post of my ex-mutual. This is merely an example of something I've seen quite a lot of. This is exactly the reason behind my statement "the transandrophobe/femphobe/misogynist venn diagram of cis gay men is a circle." Because it truly is a circle. Toxic masculinity and misogyny lead to wanting to separate oneself from women, which causes one to see trans men as potential women necessary to separate oneself from. And, many times, this will lead to a hatred of feminine men, as the misogynistic gay man will see feminine men as being like women.

I don't know if I'm onto something about there being something to do with severe, collective trauma in the gay community causing a sort of "crisis of masculinity" within the community. But as I keep thinking about this, I think I am realizing that there is a lot more to this issue than at first meets the eye. Something to think about.

#wentz.txt #long post #transandrophobia #queer discourse #tehms die faster challenge #this is one of my longest posts ever #intersectionality

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lemonyko0 · 2 years

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Want It All - jjk

there are only two types of people in the word: those who have it all, and those who want it all.

» genre: (mini) series, angst, smut, some fluff.

» description: high society, arrogant rich boy jjk meets strong-willed reader, and together they hatch a plan to have it all. enemies to lovers, fake dating au :P

» word count: 11k (... i know but HEAR ME OUT... i worked three days on this and not my school work so just give it a chance 😭)

Part 1 | Part 2

have you ever met someone that seemed to love the things they hate? it's as if they run on spite, constantly doing the opposite of what others tell them to do and crush every expectation and prediction put upon them.

for you, this was turning against your family's generationally toxic values and living how you wanted. and you made no effort in hiding your plans.

this came down to almost every detail. it didn't matter what anyone else thought of you, of course. you knew that. but you can't deny the power of not only crushing but exceeding people's expectations of you.

even when you were given scholarships for a great school, and became successful, you still wanted more. there was still something to prove, even when "having it all" (being smart, pretty, and practically guaranteed money and success) there was still a missing, undeniable, factor.

and that is when you met jeon jungkook.

god, did you hate, jeon jungkook.

being the type of person you were, also garnered a lot of hate. you always chalked it up to jealousy, or envy. all the same, it only fueled you more, and otherwise had no purpose. so therefore, you did not feel jealousy. (or so, before you met him).

your university was among the top in the country, and being one of the top ranked in your class meant you were granted opportunities others were not. it gave the up and coming (or simply privileged) people a way to make connections and "friends" (people deemed acceptable company) so dinners, party's, charity events, and balls were all accustomed to you.

during your last year of university, you decided to purchase an enchanting sequined, black dress that had caught your eye a few months earlier. it was perfect for the event, and a little out of budget, but you could work around it.

and boy, was it worth it.

"wow, it's like that dress was made for you, y/n." sooyung awes, equally as gorgeous when she's dolled up and in a red dress.

"i wish it was acceptable to wear stuff like this all the time, because you're right, this totally is made for me.

she laughs, "you should contact the designer, he'd be all over you."

you chuckle and wave her off after dressing and assembling your mini purse to match, you both are ready to head to the charity ball. dinner, service, and a free bar. doesn't get much better than that.

the night goes on the same as ever, having been attending this ceremony every year since your first year, and many people had the same story as you, in that sense.

which means all the faces become known, so seeing one as striking as him that you didn't know, only made him more alluring. especially considering he hadn't taken his gorgeous eyes off of you all night.

you wondered when he'd approach you. you gave him ample opportunity, even setting up a few perfect scenarios. the night was past it's peak and began to wind down when you found yourself seated alone at the open bar.

he slides into the stool beside you and orders himself a drink, and you another of whatever you're almost done with.

you raise your brows at him with a grin, "should've done that several hours ago.

your mean words don't cause him to turn away, instead he laughs, "forgive me, it took some courage."

you hum, "courage? i would think a man like you would have no problem approaching women."

the server hands us both our respective drinks and he swishes it around before sipping, "you've got me there."

you nod, intrigued by his honesty. "have i ever seen you before?"

his eyes widen the slightest bit at your question. you don't understand why, but it was a subtle change, you conclude you're overthinking him. men are simple creatures.

"i have surely never seen you before, because if i had, i would not have forgotten."

you smile, "charming." he bites at his lip, making the silver ring all the more noticeable as it shines against the light at the bar. "what's your name then?"

"jeon jungkook." he extends a hand.

you take his large hand into yours, extending the shake, "y/f/n."

he grins, and you can't deny the depths of his grin, both soft and so, so dark. "it's a pleasure to meet you."

and as all things happen, when one pent-up college student meets another in equal standing and frustration, it doesn't take you long at all to end up with an invitation to his place.

"your place?" you ask as he leads you outside the venue.

he nods, digging in his pockets to find his keys, "yeah.”

as you predicted, his daddy most definitely did have money. he led you to a very nice apartment complex. fitting for someone his age, but still opulent enough to not sacrifice the luxurious things he likely grew up with.

and clearly, patience was not one of the things he was taught at a young age. had it not been for your request of a surface softer than the front door, you think he would have taken you right then and there.

his body is heavy pressed against yours, easily clouding your thoughts when his lips are on your neck and his thigh presses between your legs.

you give as much as you take, reaching down to feel him through his pants and he rewards you with a groan. you undo his belt and he kicks his pants off. he only detaches himself from you once, to strip his top half and instructing you to turn around so he can unzip your dress.

he's quick to trap you between him and the door again and you struggle to detach yourself from him long enough to whimper out a request.

finally the mention of his name has him stopping long enough for you to ask, "mind if we take this somewhere a little softer?"

he grins, "anywhere you'd like gorgeous."

he takes your hand and leads you to his bedroom, sitting on his bed first before leading you into his lap to continue to kiss you feverishly.

your hands become entangled in his dark locks and his hands grip your ass, moving you ever so slowly back and forth against him as he kisses you.

you pull away, hoping to get this moving a little quicker and disconnect your lips and tip his head back to attach your lips to his neck. he moans at a sensitive spot beneath his ear, and another above his collarbone.

he curses and flips you both over, making quick work of your bra as he pulls it off from beneath you and tosses it away. he groans and grips your chest as if it was his first time seeing such a thing.

he worshiped you as if you were his first and last, although by the way he worked your body it was clear you would be neither of those things.

he trailed his mouth down from your chest to your pelvis, peeling your lace underwear off as he went. "mind if i have a taste?"

he asks as if you'd stop him now.

"absolutely."

he chuckles almost arrogantly. and you hoped he was as good as he pretended to be. as soon as he put his tongue on you, that truth became evident.

he had you mewling beneath him. practically dragging your hips against him to beg for more, as if he wasn't already giving you everything he had. he absolutely relished in the sight of you coming just from his tongue.

you curse and he makes his way back up to you, "still up for more?" he asks with a cocky grin.

your chest is still rising and falling as you admire the way he stares at you. "i'd be awful not to reward you after that."

he smiles, "i was hoping you'd say that."

you grin and run your hand up along his thigh, "so what'll it be, jungkook?"

his words are vulgar but they come out soft, dripping in power. "can't help but picture what you'd look like bouncing on my cock." who are you to deny such a request?

with your approval he situates himself against his headboard and holds you as you position yourself above him. his breathing slows and he looks at you determined, as if he had this planned from the beginning.

you're glad he was kind enough to get you off first, because you're certain now as he fills you up that you would've been a goner otherwise. you hadn't really paid close attention to what he was packing until you felt him inside of you. he was a stretch to say the least, and from his position he hit all the spots he needed to. you're almost sure he would in any position, and you were up to test that too. "god, jungkook, you're big.

what you anticipate is a cocky comment from him but he's just as in awe as you are when he cusses, "god, you feel phenomenal."

you grin at his choice of words and begin to lift your hips up and down. you watch him closely, having pegged him for an ass guy early on has you rethinking the way you'd drawn him up in your head as he ogles at your chest. his eyes stutter between that, and the part where your bodies connect. one of his large hands grabs at your ass and the other helps you keep pace against your hip.

"fuck, more, please." he requests and you oblige as much as you can, but the issue with giving more is you tire quicker.

he seems unfazed, tilting his head back and letting his sounds reverberate in his bedroom. you do the same, no room for shyness when you're both being so open about the pleasure. he cusses and grips your hips tighter, "can we switch it up?" you nod, and he smiles. "head down, ass up."

you almost moan at the mention of it. he matches your excitement with eagerness, not wasting any time as he slides back in and builds up to the pace you were at before, then beyond.

he grips tightly on your hips, pulling you back with him with every thrust. the harshness of it in perfect unison of your impending highs. he's close and you can tell.

"fuck y/n, are you close?"

you nod and whine out a yes. he groans and snakes one of his arms around your front and circles your clit. "wanna see you cum around my cock." he breaths, "can you do that for me gorgeous?"

you're plenty past the point of letting him control you, letting him fuck you senselessly into the mattress when you struggle to moan out a response. he just chuckles and continues to play with you until your orgasm comes crashing down and you both moan in unison. he fucks you through it and stills soon after.

you turn over onto your back and let your eyes flutter shut. not concerned with what he was doing, although you were sure that was when he discarded of the condom he filled and slipped his boxers back on after cleaning himself up.

you awaited further instruction for what comes next. guys are different, you don't assume you can stay until you're explicitly told. you assume you're not when he doesn't join you in bed again. instead you ask to use his restroom and he points to the door across from the bed.

when you come back out you begin the search for your clothes. he's sitting on his bed, clearing his notifications it seemed. he looks up at you while you're scavenging the floor, "you should stay, it's pretty late."

you shrug, sliding your bra back on, "it's fine, i'll catch an uber."

he crawls over to you and slips off the bed, standing in front of you and looking deeply into your eyes. you feel one of his hands ghost your jaw before he places another kiss against your lips.

this was something you deemed out of character, but it definitely helped him create an offer you couldn't refuse. "come on, i'm a great cuddler and i'll even make breakfast."

you're not usually a fan of staying, unless you're too drunk and it's too late to be safe, so when you agree to his offer you surprise yourself.

and it turns into one of your biggest regrets when you wake up the next morning.

"fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck"

you curse, practically rampaging through jungkook's room as soon as you wake up. it was serene for perhaps a minute. your mind caught up with you, and you quickly realized you woke up on your own accord and not according to your alarm.

you looked around frantically for a clock or phone of sorts. and the panic that set in once you read the digital alarm clock on his bedside table would have any doctor believe your heart was actually in the pits of your stomach.

"no fucking way. this can't be happening right now."

a trick to maintaining a healthy social life to academic life balance is setting your alarms before you go out. so no matter what happens, you always have time.

except this time, your phone wasn't in your purse. in fact, it wasn't in his bedroom at all. jungkook opens his bedroom door to find you dressing as quickly as you could, prepared to find a car or even race to your interview in the same dress and heels if you had to.

"someone looks panicked, what's got you in such a hurry?"

"fuck! where is my phone?!" he laughs and you are not amused in the slightest as he casually leans against the doorframe with an absolutely shit-eating grin. "seriously jungkook i really need to go, help me out?"

he shrugs and doesn't move an inch. i shove past him in an angry mumble, "men are so unhelpful."

he scoffs, "you certainly didn't hold that opinion last night."

you roll your eyes, "seriously jungkook, do you know where it is or if i had it?" he ticks his head towards the couch. "right there."

you frown, "how the hell did it get there?" he grins, "that alarm was awfully annoying. do you normally do that after hooking up with people? what a terrible way to wake up, you don't get a lot of call backs do you-"

"you heard my alarm? and you didn't wake me up?!" you stare at him in disbelief.

he chuckles, "you are fun to play with y/n, but i'm not a huge sadist so in the favor of not prolonging this, allow me to fill you in."

he pulls a chair from the table beside him and straddles it, crossing his muscular arms on top and over the back of it as he looks at you darkly. "you must be aware of the list of candidates mr. kim chooses for his internship." you nod, not even concerned how he knew about the internship interview you missed this morning or what this had to do with him, "it's a short list, and he doesn't only choose from the school he teaches at. he just wants the best of the best."

you nod and scoff, "yeah i already know all of this, the point, please?"

he chuckles, clearly annoyed, "well the list turned out to be awfully hard to get my hands on, but even harder to decipher who the candidates were when he only wrote the students code and their university on the forms. all i knew was he had us all ranked, and someone from your university was in the number one spot, and not me."

my thoughts race, in all my years studying here i had not been immune to my fair share of dirty and underhanded tricks to reach my goals, but nothing compares to what he was describing. he continues still, "i asked everywhere, you hadn't seemed to tell a damn person you were chosen for the opportunity, let alone the best shot at winning." he ticks his head at me, "that was until i came across sooyung. she spotted me at the cafe and didn't waste a second. she's quite the talker, you know?"

you shake your head speechlessly, "you seriously went to all of these lengths just to be sure i missed that interview?"

he just smiles proudly, and you laugh, "how insecure of you, actually. i should thank you." you walk towards him on the chair, confused and dissident as you wrap yourself around him before bending down to his level, "you had a lot of praise for me last night, but the notion that you couldn't beat me on your own merit, knowledge, and skill has to be the largest one of all."

he does not like that. he angrily bites the corner of his mouth and offendedly laughs,

"say what you want, theres no way he'll give you that spot now."

you walk away from him with a shrug, collecting your things, "that may be, but i wouldn't say it's sured. i do hope for your sake though jungkook," you open his door and turn back around to look him in the eyes, "that this is the last time you see me."

that was everything that happened when you first met jungkook. all in less than 24 hours.

much to your demise, he had successfully blocked you from claiming that summer intern position with mr. kim, and managed to somehow convince him that he was the right choice.

you decided begging or bargaining for that spot was beneath you, although mr. kim did recommend you to another agency.

"this wasn't on the list of options they handed out at the beginning of the semester." you question, looking over the application he had just handed you.

he doesn't look up from his desk, "i know, because they don't usually hire students."

you chuckle even though it's not amusing, "then why are you telling me to apply there? do you think i need more disappointment?"

he chuckles at that, "no, not at all. i wouldn't recommend this if i didn't think you had a chance." he looks up at me, "let's just say, i heard through the grapevine that they were debating, allowing students to intern. if they'd make an exception for anyone, i think it'd be you."

you nod, and he adds, "and it's not like you have much other options, unless you want a less reputable company."

you shake your head quickly, "being accepted here would be insane for my resume." he nods and with that you part him with a thanks.

as if lady luck herself pities you, or perhaps by the grace of god himself, you find yourself getting a call on a Tuesday morning regarding your unprompted submission to intern at one of the country's largest and most reputable companies.

you were half expecting to be let down, and the other half was excepting to be berated for such an inappropriate action.

you were not expecting to be told you were expected at headquarters for a meeting with the current director over further plans.

and it went swimmingly.

some people just click, and for once you are more than glad, elated, even, that this man seemed to take quite a liking to your work and ambition, all made clear not only through your resume and portfolio submitted but by your very presence.

he leaned over to speak quietly, "you know, we don't take on students." your heart began to break a little, "but we've always entertained the idea. it surely has its benefits. not to mention, first grabs on the newest, and best talent."

you light up at his words, "of course i think it's a fantastic idea, but i am also biased."

he laughs and nods, "yes, well, of course. i'm unsure what exactly we'd have you do, but i don't doubt you'd be willing to do whatever we asked of you."

you nod, "correct." you don't care if its running errands, secretary work, writing, or even handing pens out, you would do it.

he purses his lips, "and we'll base your pay off of what we have you do. we'll reach that conclusion at about week 4. does this all sound agreeable to you?"

you nod quickly, "yes of course, i understand."

he grins widely, it was almost familiar, and stands with his hand extended out to you.

"i’ll have our lawyers draw up a contract for you, your term ends on the 29th correct?"

you shake his hand with a large smile, "yes, it does."

he nods, "perfect then, we'll be in touch. glad to have you, y/n."

working at mr. lee's company exceeded your expectations. you began to understand why this was everyone's top pick, and why they were never hiring.

your life had continued to follow the path you worked so hard to ensure. you responded to mr. lee (or his secretary, when he was too busy) for your task sheet every week and they even began to accept you as another coworker. even mr. lee took kindly to you, so much as to invite you to the company's charity event.

you spent most of your time there learning more about your coworkers, even meeting some of their partners or family.

mr. lee seemed very glad to see you and noticed you immediately while making his rounds. "ah y/n! i was really hoping you'd make it."

you laugh and bow to him, "of course, how could i not come? it's a fantastic event mr. lee, thank you for having me."

he shakes his head, "nonsense. you belong here." he doesn't seem to understand the weight of his words, and they fill you with hope. ever so carefully entertaining the idea that this could be your future. "i may have invited you for selfish reasons as well, y/n."

you look at him, both worried and confused, and he laughs, holding his gut, "oh heavens! not for me." he laughs heartily, "i-i have a son, i would really love you to meet."

the panic falls from your face and you laugh with him, "oh! gosh, of course. i'd be delighted."

he grins widely, "well then, let me introduce you to my family."

your heart pounds with excitement as you follow his lead around the decorated room and to a nearby table. "y/n, this is my wife."

you smile and introduce yourself to her, gosh she's gorgeous. if he has half the looks his mother does, you're sold.

"nice to meet you y/n! how are you enjoying the party?" she asks before gesturing to sit at the seat in front of her.

"it's fantastic! i especially love how the centerpieces are the colors of the foundation you're honoring tonight." you comment, having done your research last night.

her eyes glow in admiration, "yes!" she gawks, touching your hand for a moment,

"you are just as intelligent as my husband said you were." she grins and leans forward,

"and you seem to be just his son's type, but don't tell him i told you that." you both laugh,

"he gets embarrassed so easily." she covers her laugh, "there was this one time where he-"

"i would rather you not tell this story again, please." a figure from behind you speaks, placing a drink in front of her and another on the table beside you as he sits down.

and when you lock eyes, a million things all at once rush to your head.

jeon jungkook, again.

"jungkook."

he looks equally bewildered, "y/n?" you don't respond, still too much in shocked anger and fumbling to find the correct gameplay. "what are you doing here?" he asks.

his mother scoffs and reaches over to slap his arm, "jeon jungkook, be kind. this was the girl your father wanted you to meet, y/n, this is my son!"

your eyes race between her and jungkook. how could you not have noticed? he is literally the spitting image of his mother. it was right in front of you.

"yeah, we've met." he tells her. you raise an eyebrow, not anticipating that he would admit that, knowing what door it would open.

"oh, really? all the better!" she rises from her seat and walks over to jungkook, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and leaning down to tell him, "your father picked this one, perhaps take it seriously, and he may actually begin to take you, seriously."

her words sound loving and sweet, but the meaning was much deeper and darker in insinuation than on surface level. jungkook looks troubled but doesn't reply. "alright! well, have fun you two!" she places a hand on your shoulder as she walks past me and into the crowd to socialize beside her husband.

jungkook is silent. you find it extremely amusing. you cross your arms and look at him with the cocky grin he was sporting the last time you saw him.

he avoids your stare until it becomes unavoidable and uncomfortable. you wait for him to speak up. he scoffs and shakes his head, "what's with the grin? shouldn't you be begging right about now?"

you furrow your brows, "why on earth would i be begging?"

he chuckles, "i could tell my dad how we met. he doesn't exactly approve of my lifestyle. says i'm spoiled and lack a clear ambition all because i enjoy the money he gives me, and women." he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "if he knew you were anything like me, i doubt you'd remain in the current high regards he holds for you."

you laugh, "from the sounds of it, you're in no position to make such a gamble with your father." he looks at you testingly, and you match his stance by resting your elbows on your knees, but let your chin rest in your hands as you stare at him. "sounds like you need to appease your father. I'll be sure to tell him how you took advantage of me in a vulnerable stage, after breaking up with my boyfriend, and never spoke to me afterwards. maybe even include why you sought me out in the first place-"

"wait, what are you talking about? that first part isn't true at all-"

"oh, but isn't it?" you ask, your expression going from innocent confusion to a grin,

"because that's how i'll tell it. and i'll have you know, my acting skills are quite great." you render him silent, "who would he believe, jungkook?"

he lets out a heavy sigh, leaning back against his seat. he toys with his fingers and checks the time on his watch, before pursing his lips and looking at you. "okay."

"okay?"

he nods, "okay." he picks up his chair and scoots it close enough our knees are touching. "what will it take for you to not do that."

you chuckle once, and then several more times, "oh gosh jungkook. i almost forgot how funny you were." he is not amused in the slightest. "i'm a woman of my word. what i say and what i live by is law, that's what's gotten me this far. not, people like you, who are simply handed it."

"i’m clearly not being handed it, that's the whole fucking issue." he grumbles.

you hum, "so thats it?" you giggle, "he hasn't agreed to let you take over, has he?" he shakes his head, you've clearly hit a nerve, "oh boy i knew he was smart, but this is, wow-”

"would you please stop with your pretentious babbling and get to it?"

you pout, "you're absolutely no fun jungkook."

he crosses his arms across his chest, "i just want to know as soon as possible if you plan on throwing more fuel under the fire that is my future burning away, so i can at least run collateral. or, by your own graces, what you'd like in exchange to not, do that."

you simply smile to him, "i told you jungkook, if you ever met me again you'd live to regret it."

he nods, "yes i do recall your threatening spiel as you left my house."

you shrug, "perfect. so you'll understand how kind i am about to be." his eyes move from the floor to meet yours. "the idea of negotiating with you sounds horrendous, and there are very few things i'd put above watching you wither from something i caused.”

"but…”

"but, there is one thing i can think of, you may actually be useful for." he nods, "yeah, which is?"

your head falls to the side, letting your hand reach out to his on the table as you run your fingers against his, "i want a guaranteed spot at this company." his eyes follow your fingers, "and you want to someday run it."

he nods slowly, still entranced. "so here's my plan, now, it's still a rough draft with little thought, but this is what i think could work: we date for a while. Unsure how long, but long enough to make sure your father likes us both, and when we deem it enough, we break up mutually on good terms."

he sits stilled, his eyes meeting mine after a few moments, "that sounds great, but i think you've left something unaccounted for."

"and that is?"

he grins, "that i, will be working there, even running it, at some point. are you really comfortable with working there and loathing your boss?"

you laugh, "if it comes to that point, which even with my genius plan, is still an if, I'll decide if i can stay, or we'll agree on where to transfer or recommend me. does this sound acceptable to you?"

he stirs in his seat for a moment, then picks up your hand, as if to shake it but he simply holds it, "i accept it."

you nod, "how about we discuss further plans on our first date? where do you want to go?"

he hums, "letting me pick?" you nod. "well, fighting the urge to say i'd like to do what we did when we first met," you scoff, "i guess i'll settle on dinner?"

you agree, "okay, dinner it is. friday?"

"that works.”

"great!" you stand from your seat, "dinner, on you"

he purses his lips and nods, "figures." you turn to walk away and he stops you, latching onto your wrist, "wait."

you simply look down at him, and he says,

"need your number, gorgeous." you shake your head, grabbing his phone from his hand and typing in your information before handing it back to him. "y/n with a heart?" he chuckles, "that's not something i would write in."

you shrug, "if you want to convince your parents it's real, you can't treat me like every other girl you've fucked around with."

he nods, seemingly understanding the depths of what i'm telling him, "i guess so.”

"yes, exactly. now, i'll grab drinks for both of us and tell your parents how much i like you already, what do you want?"

your date with jungkook was as exhausting as you’d anticipated it would be. It was a free meal though, and with an extremely attractive man, so you couldn't wholeheartedly complain. There was definitely worse ways to spend your friday night.

“so i get my family and your coworkers and such have to believe this, but it's alright to tell our friends, yeah?”

you’re slouched and swishing the wine around in your glass as you hum, “mhm. i’d think of it this way, only tell who you absolutely have to tell. for me? that'll only be sooyung. everyone else around me, friends or not, will think i am dating you.”

he nods, “so you're only telling your closest friend, and everyone else is off-limits from the truth? don't you think that's a bit much? i mean, that's going to completely tank our actual dating lives.”

you shake your head, not caring to look him in the eyes as you speak, “the people around us all have connections to something or someone. the last thing we need is someone finding out and either telling your parents, or blackmailing us. it's the safest way to ensure nothing goes wrong.” he chews on his food and indicates he understands and you interject, “and about your last comment, frankly i wouldn't be that concerned for your dating life if your parents were literally setting you up with women.”

he scowls, “that has nothing to do with what i was talking about.”

you nod and smile, “oh! you mean, how will this affect your sex life?” you laugh, “silly me, i thought by “dating lives” you meant actual, meaningful, relationships.”

he scoffs, “whatever you call it, i may not be labeled ‘boyfriend material' by many women, but the last thing i want to be labeled as is a cheater, fake relationship or not.”

you’re surprised by his statement. “why? it's not like it would really ruin your chances of future relationships. you'd be surprised what women are willing to forget for a mildly hot guy with money.”

“that's only half of the concern. i just, don't want to be that guy.”

you shrug, not really understanding what he's trying to say and not caring much to decipher his odd morals. “okay, so you don't want to see or sleep with other people, is that right?”

he opens his mouth then closes it, before sighing, “i guess that's how it has to be.”

you think it over, it makes sense. being with other people would increase the number of people you'd have to tell your secret to. or if you don't explain, you’d have to face their judgment. “that sounds good to me.”

he looks up, mildly surprised, “you’re agreeing?” he shakes his head, “i wasn't asking you to do that. i was just telling you i wasn't going to-”

“no need, it's actually kind of smart of you. not that you were trying to be, but if we don't see other people it makes it plenty more believable.”

he shakes his head, “you're really committed to this, you know.”

you grin at him, “this is how i normally am. your dad knows this too, even said he hopes some of my drive and ambition rubs off on you.”

he chuckles, “he did not say that.”

you continue to bicker with each other for most of the remainder of the date, even debating who had the better music taste when jungkook didn't offer you the aux cord in his car.

despite all of it, you found yourself feeling rather content once you stepped inside your building. you weren't annoyed, stressed, nor angry.

you found yourself falling asleep imagining the future you were so committed to building for yourself. there are worst things i could do.

you and jungkook plan every date strategically, and they all unfold without a hinge. on your third date, you went strolling downtown. you grabbed hot chocolate and window shopped, admiring the hard work these people have put into the things they're so passionate about. jungkook wasn't interested in things like this. you knew that, but you also knew fall was coming quickly and your wardrobe needed some updating.

“that's ugly.” he comments, walking past you in the store.

you huff, re-folding the sweater and placing it down on the table before turning to face him, “when did i ask for your opinion on women's clothing?” you laugh, “not to mention, your wardrobe has all of maybe 2 colors, so any advice you give is unwarranted.”

he’s leaning against a different display table with his arms crossed over his wide chest, “if i have to be seen with you in public, it won't be in clothes that you don't look good in. that's all im saying.” he puts his hands up in surrender and continues walking through the store.

“okay then,” you follow behind him, “if you're such a fashionnova, pick out an outfit for me.”

he furrows his brows, “why would i do that.”

“if how i look is such a big deal to you, you shouldn't have a problem picking out an outfit for me.”

“no.”

“then stop talking!”

“ok.” he shrugs and wanders off. you figured he wanted to pout alone so you let him be, picking out a few new items and heading towards the check out.

with a bag in your hand you turn to see jungkook looking out the shop windows. “see a pretty girl?”

he furrows his brows and shakes his head. he does not match your amusement, and actually stays completely silent and solemn.

he takes your hand and leads you out of the store. the form of affection takes you by surprise for a second, but you already discussed ‘acting’ like a couple and told yourself this was just another part of the deal.

“where are you leading me?”

silence. “jungkook?” nothing. you sigh, “you're walking kinda fast can you slow down please?”

he leads you into a brewery on the corner of the street. this was ‘the spot’ on that road and you knew that, hence why you were saving it for last. “jungkook,” you whine, “you knew i wanted to go here last-”

“would you please stop bitching for a second?” he tells you, looking around the special liquor store with an indoor/outdoor bar.

“what are you looking for? do you want something?”

he drops your hand and looks at you, “first of all, i stopped talking because you told me to shut up.” you roll your eyes at his immaturity. “and second of all, i dragged you out of their because that guy in the brown coat?” he points to a guy at the end of the bar, helping what looks to be his date or girlfriend take a seat. “that’s kim taehyung. his dad is a major shareholder and on the board.”

you hum, “so you dragged me here for him?”

he looks at you confused, “did you… forget we’re literally dating to make good impressions on people like him?”

“well not him, per-say-”

“and he’s aiming to take over his father as well, just like me. last time i talked to him, he and his dad invited me to some tennis game but i totally forgot about it and haven't made a fantastic impression since.”

“did you ever apologize?”

he shakes his head, “no, i figured if i didn't then they might think i just forgot.”

“you did-”

“i forgot as in partying was more important.” he tells me. that makes more sense. “but that doesn't matter! because you and i are about to blow him away.”

jungkook grabs you by the waist and leads you around the store, “let's see how good your acting skills are.” he grins.

you smile as well, amused at the situation and you lean into him, “you as well.”

you walk around the store exactly like that until you’re close enough that taehyung notices you. he calls out to jungkook, who pretends to be surprised when he sees the both of them and greets them.

“this is my girlfriend, y/n.” you and taehyung shake hands and he looks to jungkook almost surprised.

“girlfriend? really?”

he nods, “i am just as surprised as you are.”

taehyung just grins widely, “it had to happen one of these days.” he looks to you, “goodluck to you.” you hold back a laugh, he doesn't have a clue.

taehyung then apologizes for not being able to invite you both to join him, “this date should be for us two, but we should totally do a double sometime!”

you’re weary of the offer and it shows on your face as you look to jungkook but he doesn't pay attention to you as he excitedly agrees. “do you still have my number?”

he nods, “i think, but last time i texted you you never replied so maybe i have the wrong one.”

jungkook chuckles and scratches the back of his neck, “yeah that sounds like me, how about you give me your number.”

they agree and exchange. this entire time you notice his date’s been staring at you so you finally look over to notice. you began to smile, hoping to have a small but pleasant interaction but she continues to stare hard and your smile drops when you recognize her.

not that you had any personal issue with her (yet) but this girl was as bad as they come. bad in your opinion, that was. you knew her because of what she did to sooyung, your best friend. minji was similar to jungkook, just minus the genuine charisma and kindness if you really looked. she had all those things sure but it was surface level and fake. whatever minji couldn't have she took. this included school, personal, and business life (cheating, swapping tests, buying and/or sleeping her way), anything besides actually working. her family was rich and you believed she never struggled to have anything. that was until her boyfriend broke up with her and found sooyung. to say that caused issues would be an understatement.

it's good to know she's moved on now, despite going to the lengths she did to break them up. you almost laugh at it all. why go through all that trouble just to break up with him again? you concluded it was a childish power move and never spent another second thinking of the pitiful girl.

until now. you also knew minji hated you for meddling in her and sooyung’s beef, but otherwise had no reason to dislike you.

so why she was ass-eyeing you right now? you're unsure.

the boys say goodbye and share a quick hug before jungkook is pulling you away from the scene.

“you are free next saturday right?” he asks.

“huh? what?” you ask, plenty out of earshot but still in the store where they could see you. “yeah, saturday works. what are we doing?”

he laughs, “were you even listening?” you shake your head, “taehyung invited us to go bowling.”

“bowling?”

“yeah.” he grins, checking out the liquor that lines the wall of the store, “i'll have you know i'm actually really good at it, otherwise i would've suggested something else.” he looks over, as if examining the couple, then turns to you and places a kiss on your head. out of habit you widen your eyes and fight the urge to hit him, “god y/n, they’re looking and you just ruined it.”

“you can’t just jumpscare me like that, god.” you grumble.

he sighs, “just kiss me.”

you sneak a glance at the couple and they’re looking lovingly at each other, “why? they’re not even looking over here.”

“just do it, and make it good to make up for what you did.” he says, determined. you decide to follow along with his request, he’s known what to do up until now, you have no reason to question him. you smile up at him as if he’s just given you the greatest compliment in the world and wrap both of your arms around his neck and pull him in for a kiss.

you keep smiling even when you pull away, despite the slight hatred you still feel for him. he looks at you speechlessly, “smile, jungkook.” you grit. he nods and takes your advice.

“of course, yeah.”

you raise your brows and chuckle, continuing your admiration of the alcohol you know you can’t afford, “i know i’m a good kisser but you don’t have to stand there in awe.”

he looks at you offended and you laugh again. “yeah, sure.”

you continue looking around the store and can’t shake the feeling of someones eyes on you. you look to jungkook who’s occupied examining something else, and then to the couple at the other end of the store. sure enough, minji was still staring.

“that girl makes me uneasy.”

he looks at you with furrowed brows, “who? minji? i wouldn’t worry about her.”

“you know minji?”

he pauses, letting the arm that was reaching for a bottle fall to his side but he doesn't look at you. “i dated her for a few weeks. don't even think it was a month.”

you feel surprised but you really shouldn't be. “how long ago?”

he looks at you annoyed, “like a year ago, it's not that big of a deal. to say i dated her would be a loose term. maybe took her on two dates. we really only did one thing and then got bored.”

you connect the dots without him having to really say it. “she’s been staring daggers at me since we walked in here. and she’s got issues with sooyung, and now with you, she could be a problem, jungkook.”

he shrugs, taking a bottle he picked and examining it, “i really wouldn't worry about her. if she’s with taehyung she's got enough on her hands.” he says. “you ever had honey whiskey?”

“no, jungkook.” you sigh. upset he doesn't seem to care about the present issue.

he grins, “perfect. you want anything?”

you hum and look around. “the cherry one looked interesting.”

he spins around to find the one you’re talking about and grins, “cherry tequila? knew i pegged you right.”

you chuckle, “what are you talking about.”

he shrugs and grins with a cocky smile, “nothing, just knew you were a tequila person. it was obvious.”

“you're talking nonsense.”

“am i wrong? is that not your preferred alcohol?”

“and yours is whiskey i presume?”

he grins, “oh, i'm an everything man.”

you act sarcastically, “oh of course! i should have known.”

“but you didn't! that's how you know i know and you don't.”

he continues to babble as he pays and walks out of the store. “what exactly are you going to do with that? just add it to your little collection?”

he looks down at you for a moment, “drink it, obviously.” you follow him just as confused as before. “did you know i'm actually pretty good at making drinks?”

you hum, “no i guess not, but that wouldn't surprise me.”

“it's not hard to do but it does take some level of commitment, it's actually the perfect practice for someone like me.”

“whatever your hobbies are.” you chuckle.

he scoffs, “yeah? what are your hobbies? studying and being a bitch?”

you laugh, “yeah, actually. but also art and video games.”

he looks at you in a way you couldn't describe. “no shit?” you nod. “perfect then. you didn't have any plans for the rest of the night did you?”

you frown, “i mean i needed to study but-”

“studying waits, i have a better idea.” he looks at you excited and puts the bags you both bought in the backseat of his car, “me vs you video game tournament. you can pick the games, and i’ll supply the drinks.”

“i pick the games? don't you think that's a little unfair?”

he shakes his head, “absolutely not, you'll lose even if you picked terraria.”

“how would terraria-”

“you’d lose.”

jungkook was correct, no matter what you'd pick he would win. and it really fucking annoyed you.

“god is this what you've spent your life doing?”

he laughs, shoving popcorn in his mouth by the handful, “yeah.”

you shake your head, beyond annoyed. you were definitely a sore loser. “no wonder.”

he looks at you and grins, “what? sad that you suck? it's okay y/n you can't be good at everything.” he fakes a sympathetic pout and leans in close to you, “i told you i would win.”

by this point in the day, it’s about 8pm and jungkook has served you six different drinks. not that you finished all of them, but you’ve been served roughly that many. on top of all the ones he made for himself that he insisted you try.

you’re both sat in his living room with a controller in your hands and a drink in his. he stops whatever mocking sentence he was beginning to say to instead look at you with a smirk, “you’re blushing.”

you scowl, “my face turns red when i drink sometimes.”

he shakes his head, “your face wasn’t red until i scooted closer to you.” he leans in further and you try to back away, “you want me to kiss you y/n?” he smirks and you push his chest back.

“that is not why i’m red jungkook, get away from me.”

he sits back where he was before, albeit still much closer in proximity. “you’re lying to yourself. i get it, being as attractive as i am and us not being able to see other people.” he looks to you, “it’s bound to happen at some point.”

you shake your head, “maybe you feel that way, but i don’t need constant attention and entertainment.”

he scowls, “i do not.”

you laugh, “clearly, you do. It’s only been three weeks jungkook.”

“four.” he corrects.

you stare at him confused, “we’ve been ‘dating’ for three.” you put air quotes around the word ‘dating’.

he shakes his head, “no, like, four weeks since i’ve seen a woman other than you.”

you nod, “ah, must really be killing you.”

he sighs, “yeah, really must be hard on me if i just hit on you.”

you frown, “yeah, like you’re not attracted to me.”

he eyes you, “i make no comment on that.”

you laugh, “you don’t have to say it for me to know its true.” he scowls at you but you don’t allow him to continue the bickering. “okay, i should head home.”

he continues sitting on his couch, “its hardly even 9.”

you slip your shoes and jacket on, “yeah? i told you i had to study.” he whines childishly, “fine, whatever, be lame.”

you grin, “awe, miss me already?”

he looks at you then back towards the tv, “you’re really not as amusing as you think you are.”

“you clearly find me interesting enough to ask me to hang out when it's unrelated to our plan.”

he teases, “because you’re easy, what were you going to do? say no?”

jungkook clearly finds this amusing but you realize not only did that last comment hurt, but it was also obvious he had no idea how petty it was.

“okay then, if that’s how you see me.” you grab your stuff and open the door when he shouts out at you.

“god, wait up.” he groans, lifting himself off the couch. you tell him not to bother with taking you home. “what? why?” you try to close the door after telling him bye but he’s as stubborn as ever, “don’t close my own door on me, what's your problem?”

you sigh and just begin to walk away from his apartment, still chasing after you, being a dick. “seriously y/n, let me take you home.” he grabs onto your arm and you’re ready to punch him. jungkook pisses you off in many ways and has wronged you. for the benefit of you both, you looked past it all. in order for this plan to really work, jungkook still had to change. you knew he was a flawed man, but you didn’t think he would be this ignorant and immature.

“stop following me creep!”

he takes a step back and looks at you like you cussed him out in a different language, “what the hell are you talking about.”

“i said i was leaving, you clearly pissed me off, now you’re chasing after me? seriously jungkook get a fucking clue and leave me alone!”

he scoffs, “what am i supposed to do? just leave you to roam around at night because you can’t take a joke?”

“yes! i’m not your problem.”

“you literally are my problem.”

you look at him confused, then chuckle, “no, as it happens you are my problem. you are also your own problem. hilarious isn't it?” he begins to tell you off but your patience for his bs has thinned, “what’s even more funny jungkook? is that you know your flaws and have done absolutely nothing to work past them. you could have anything in the world, it’s all practically handed to you! all you’d have to do is put the slightest effort in to impress your dad and it's yours!” you’ve effectively silenced him as he stands before you, “and yet you still pick a route of mistrust and manipulation. i’m doing this because i have to, you're doing this because it's easier than genuinely trying."

you have so much more to say about him. he’s once never apologized for what he did to you and how he’s treated you in the past, and all the passive-aggressive taunts and jokes in between. and you never asked him to. because you knew he wouldn’t be sorry. that was just the way he was. and it sickened you to know this. you figured you could look past it, because he has some redeeming qualities, and in order for this to work you had to find them. trying to pretend to date someone you truly couldn’t stand wouldn’t work well for you, so you really did try. and yet, he continued to disappoint you with his entitlement and arrogance.

“you still think of me like that?” he chuckles, “you sound like you can’t even stand me, so why come up with this stupid plan?!” you open your mouth and he interrupts you, “you’re stupid too, you know. not only do you totally not have to do this to have a successful career, you also can’t see how hypocritical you are.”

you scoff, “don’t act like i’ve done things as desperate and terrible as you have.”

he laughs, “you haven’t? really? miss ‘will stop at nothing to get what i want’? i don’t believe you for a fucking second, y/n.”

“well i haven’t! this,” you say, pointing between the two of you, “this the worst thing i’ve ever done.”

he shakes his head, “you're a hypocrite either way. if this is the worst you've done then you clearly haven’t done everything in your power, yeah? nothing but a pretentious wannabe.”

your face is bright red and your body is aching as if you’re going to cry. you knew that was the last thing you wanted to do in front of jungkook. “just fuck-off jungkook. you clearly will never understand how you could be in the wrong, let alone apologize and be a better person. god help the miserable woman that actually falls in love with you.”

he bites his lip ring, “bet you still wish it was you, for real.”

you stare at him dumbfounded, “you really are just an ass and nothing more. what a miserable life.” he tries to talk back, no doubt something even meaner than what he’s already said, “goodbye, jungkook.” you walk away from him, only getting a few steps before shouting out, hoping he could still hear you, “can’t wait to tell your dad about this.”

weeks past and you neither heard of nor saw anything from jungkook. in the beginning, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. not like that, you tell yourself. anyone who had just been through what you had would also obsessively think over it for at least a few weeks. it wasn’t all bad though, no more jungkook meant no more plan, which also meant all the time in the world to focus on preparing for your last year in school and your new internship. which would all be good! had it not been for your obvious avoidance of your boss.

you were terrified of talking to him above all else. you were stuck in this stand-off with jungkook, and his dad, in the middle of it all. you couldn’t be sure what jungkook had told him, if anything, and if he hadn’t, you didn’t know if you were still ‘together’ or not. you simply didn’t have the answers and you were sure as hell not going to be the one that asks first.

as fate would have it, jungkook was actually having a worse time than you were.

it had been three weeks since you walked out his door and he felt an array of emotions. many of which, he had no words for. “who shat in your cheerios?”

his brother looks at him with a fake pout on his face. jungkook looks at him annoyed and unamused, and ignores him. dinner at his parents house every tuesday night was a requirement with few reasonable exceptions. tonight was no different. “you’ve had such a shitty attitude lately.” he tells him, leaning over the table. “i mean, you’re normally unpleasant, but this is new even for you.”

jungkook’s patience is wearing extremely thin and this is not helping. “is that your convoluted way of worrying about me.” he teases. “don’t worry big bro.” he reaches out to ruffle his hair, “i feel fantastic!”

his brother swats his hand away and they both lean back in their seats as their mother joins them at the table. jungkook would blow this off if he could, but he figures it's the least he could do considering the days he has to make his father proud are slowly ticking away.

he thinks you’re teasing him. and not in the sexy way. he figured he was done for in more ways than one after you left his house that night. and he also knew he couldn’t count all the things he’d done wrong to you on both of his hands. maybe even his toes. he doesn’t know for sure, he knows he’s blind to all the stupid and mean things he does due to the way he was raised. he tells himself he can’t help it and he shouldn’t have to. people will either like and accept him for him, or they won’t. that's not his problem. but he knew the difference between the hurtful things he said and you said, were that your words were true. and now he was paying the price.

you seemingly haven’t told his dad. he wasn’t sure why, exactly. you told him you would. he thought you’d sealed his fate after that night and come monday morning you would be singing the story to his father. but days passed and he still hadn’t heard anything from you or his father. he hated this.

“jungkook,” his father calls to him, his heart skips a beat each time he does, knowing one of these days will be his end, “have you heard from y/n? you are still seeing her, right?” jungkook wasn’t sure what to say. the last thing he wanted to do was both be a terrible, unfit person to run the company but also a liar if he said something that was different to what you’d tell him.

“uhm, yeah.” he says simply, indirectly causing all eyes to raise to him.

“yeah? you mean yes.” he corrects. “so, you are still seeing her?”

jungkook’s brother hops into conversation first. “oh, yeah you’re seeing that girl, must not be going well.” he shoves another spoonful of food in his mouth afterwards, nothing more needed to be said after his comment sent the rest of them into a frenzy.

“oh no jungkook, what did you do-”

“seriously son?”

“god!” he slams his fists on the table. “why do you all assume the worst of me?” the table was silent. “i didn’t even say we weren’t together, so why did you take this idiot’s joke as truth and blame me for something that didn’t even happen?” they stare at him as he finishes his outburst, “do you comprehend how unfair that is?”

his dad is the first to speak after a moment of uncomfortable silence. “that is unfair, but every time i’ve given you the benefit of the doubt, you’ve proven me wrong.”

jungkook looks up at his father. “thats not fair-”

“then what is fair?”

jungkook didn’t know how to respond. he knew what he wanted to say. fuck, he wanted to scream it. he wanted to throw a tantrum and yell at his dad for leaving his mother, for remarrying too quickly, for never caring the way a parent should. any piece of his past that he had no control over. he wanted to berate them for neglecting to fix him the same way they berate him for neglecting to fix himself. that is what he wanted to do. he wanted someone to blame. he was angry at a past he could not change. it was a hopeless venture he was doomed to lose. and in those infuriating moments at dinner, that is when it all came to light.

there was absolutely nothing he could do. he had two options: live a life of hatred and entitlement, or try to change. it sounds simple, but jungkook knew he was comfortable in the first option. that's the life he’d been living the past 10 years, and up until now, it’s worked for him. he also knew the only chance he’d have at letting go of this terrible anger and shaking the reputation he’d put upon himself, was to take a shot at number two.

he didn’t want to. but the defining reason became: if i fail, i just go back.

jungkook left dinner early that night. his family didn’t contact him. he called off from his internship. he lounged around his house doing virtually nothing for about three days before the first epiphany happened. it was listening to mr.kim’s voicemail, “hello, jungkook. hope you’re feeling well. if you could let me know asap when we can expect you back in, that would be very helpful. please, call me back.”

his first reaction: “fuck this.” followed by lazily turning onto his back, rolling around in his messy bed with a large sigh. his second thought: they’re counting on me, i have to show up. and with more motivation than necessary, he sits up, and dials the number.

jungkook found working tiring, but extremely rewarding. he had low expectations for himself. he felt like shit, felt like the work he did was shit, and like he was holding them back. when the project he was working on was not only picked up by a chief editor, but highly praised, he was beyond surprised.

“i have to say jungkook, i thought you were just following in your fathers footsteps. i was worried you didn’t have any of his talent.” the older man said, “but i have to say, i may like this even more than the work i’ve seen of your fathers.” he grins at him, “it’s a shame you’re not just another uni kid we can sign with, otherwise, you’d be hired.”

jungkook was speechless. he was sure he was red in the face and bowed much further than was necessary, but he didn't care. the old jungkook would have thought they were just saying that to get on his good side, to put them in good-standing with his family. but he knew now that wasn’t the case. he has actual talent. what he viewed as “sucking up” this whole time could very-well have been people simply trying to compliment his work.

and had he not been such a dick, he would have seen it.

jungkook spent the rest of that week and the next making a genuine effort to change the way he acts and thinks. it was hard, and exhausting, and he wasn’t sure the payoff was worth it, but he knew there was still something nagging at him.

so he thought to do the things he’d seen on tv and in movies.

he showed up to your door with flowers and chocolate.

you wanted to punch him.

“what… the hell are you doing.”

he stares at you stunned, this was not the reaction he was banking on. “t-they’re for you.”

you blink. once. twice. “why.”

he furrows his brows, “aren’t you gonna let me in?”

you match his expression, “no.”

he looks offended and you scoff. “i’m here because i’m sorry.”

you look surprised, “sorry?” you laugh, “sorry for what?”

he nods, “well, everything, really. i haven’t been nice to you if it wasn’t to serve another purpose. i-i’ve manipulated you, lied to you, raised my voice, said really mean things.” you nod to all of this, arms crossed over your chest as you stand in your doorway, still in your silk pjs because you had the day off and you weren’t banking on this.

come to think of it, how did he know you’d be home?

“and most of all, i’m sorry for not treating you like a friend, when that’s all you tried to be.”

his words interest you. “well, for starters, i appreciate the gesture.” he shakes his head quickly.

“you deserve more.”

you nod wearily, suspiciously, “and thanks for apologizing.” he looks up to you with a hopeful grin, which you crush, “but apology not accepted.”

he looks at you with wide, puppy dog eyes. you’re surprised his lip doesn’t start quivering. “y-you don’t accept it?” you shake your head. “h-how can i get you to forgive me, then?”

you laugh, “i don’t think there is a way.”

he looks like a deflated balloon, you almost feel bad. but you don’t. “so what, are we just done with this whole plan?”

you chuckle, your tongue poking the inside of your cheek as you point at him, “see? i knew you were only here for that reason-”

“no! that’s really not it! please y/n-”

“just fuck off jungkook!” you open your door and he shouts as you’re closing it.

“i’m leaving these here!” you don’t reply, but for some reason you stand on the other side of the door, listening. hoping that wasn’t it. “and i’m going to keep trying.”

you don’t notice the smallest, tiniest, smile that grows.

but you insist, you still hate jeon jungkook.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚

wowa this is definitely the most time and effort i've put into a story before so if you are ever going to support me in any way, i BEG that it be this. your interaction and support means the world to me, and it shows me that you enjoy this content which will guide me to post more or less like this, so if you like something, show it!

as always, thank u for reading (and making it this far <3) and i hope u have a wonderful day !! - ara :)

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lemonhemlock · 1 year

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Thoughts on otto?

i really enjoy komsomolka's take that otto is a failed girldad

i think both otto and tywin are deconstructions of machiavelli's prince. but otto is very much tywin-lite. he is not as ruthless as tywin, not as cold, not as sly. his schemes are childlike compared to tywin's. never in a million years would have tywin suffered such a fool like daemon for so long. otto is a conniver himself, but he does genuinely care for his duty to the realm on a conceptual level as well and he does care for viserys, both as his friend and both as an embodiment of the crown. that doesn't preclude him from doing all he can to advance himself and his own - he is a noble lord, after all.

otto gets a lot of flack in the fandom & we should totally acknowledge the imprint traditional masculinity has on the less-privileged around him. but i have this pervasive, terrifying feeling that otto is actually... he is our father!! you take any reasonably-gentle, reasonably-decent man, who loves his daughter, and put him into the shoes of the second son of a noble lord, in a fantasy middle-ages setting, and he becomes otto. and that's what i find so bloody tragic about otto - this is the story of a man who is separated by societal mores and structures from the one person he loves the most in this entire world - the apple of his eye!! his bbygurl! nobody wins under feudalism! nobody wins under patriarchy! not alicent, but not even otto either! would mine own father do that to me were he in otto's place? would yours? what a completely alarming idea!

otto doesn't completely understand alicent because he doesn't understand women, not fully, not ever & he never will because he lacks the psychoanalysis tools & the critical paradigm through which to objectively assess society & re-arrange his world view. every character in the show has this problem and faces this wall eventually. this is not otto-apologia or trying to find excuses for him, but, equally, not accounting for this in our commentaries does a disservice to all of us, because it utterly fails to account for how our behaviours and beliefs are constitutionally conditioned by socio-economical structures. a person living under patriarchal feudalism, where war is a common occurrence, medical science is rudimentary and mental health non-existent, making life itself a very perilous affair, is conspicuously NOT going to have the same beliefs as a person who has (hopefully) gained critical-thinking skills as a result of their university education in modern-day capitalism. no matter how kindhearted or empathetic they might be.

that is to say that otto genuinely believes he is doing the very best for alicent and for his house and for the realm. he is providing the realm with an exemplary queen, he is connecting the hightowers to the crown via blood and he is giving alicent away to (in his eyes) a kind, good, gentle husband. he is making her the most important woman in westeros with the most amount of power, should she learn how to yield it. he doesn't understand alicent's terror because he doesn't understand abuse the same way she does - viserys never yells at her, is never violent to her, always treats her politely, is a jolly enough man and seems like he'd be fun to drink a beer with. alicent now has all the wealth, all the jewels, the finery, the security and the obeisance of those around her. that's how otto conceptualises happiness and he is giving exactly that to his daughter. would otto agree that it would have been ideal for alicent to be a few years older before getting married? probably, yeah. but an opportunity like this comes only once in a lifetime and, as fucked up as this may seem, this is an act of love in his eyes.

alicent knows her father doesn't truly understand her, doesn't speak "the language of girls", but goes along with it because she is in an uneven power dynamic with him, she is young & inexperienced and is primed to trust that her father's decisions are for her own benefit. there is anxiety-inducing conflict here bc the reality doesn't live up to otto's idealized and superficial understanding of what marriage to viserys entails. what this means for her relationship with rhaenyra, her soul mate. but, even so, alicent knows that her father is the only person in the whole wide world who will love her no matter what & never abandon her, no matter their disagreements. people don't understand why alicent loses her shit when she loses otto. this is why! he is not viserys, he is not rhaenyra. the only reason he leaves is because he is banished. and she (unknowingly & without her sanction) pays a terrible price to get him back

alicent is otto's pawn but she is not just a broodmare to him. he wants to actively work with her. he includes her in his schemes. he allows her on the small council. they have their own power struggles & disagreements, but he mostly rules with her. he wants her on his team so bad. together, you and i will prevail. whatever our differences, our hearts remain as one. he honours their stupid bet and delivers alicent's v generous peace terms to rhaenyra himself. he has been bested by his daughter, he respects that & doesn't undermine her. she really is his queen!!

just bc daemon & rhaenyra oppose otto doesn't mean he is a "snake". daemon is a true nepo baby & incompetent in every job he gets handed. rhaenyra is pissed otto "spied" on her, but that's literally his job as Hand, to be on top on things, act like the CIA and inform the King of any potential trouble. he has his own faults, but i wouldn't call him the evil mastermind the fandom has decided he is

#ask #anon #otto hightower #alicent hightower #alicent & otto #also rhys ifans eats every scene he is what an outstanding performance

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sometimes-men-need-help-too · 2 years

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Hey, what do you think about this one:

https://khanbika.tumblr.com/post/693576051182419968/unpopular-opinion-but-i-genuinely-dont

It's short, so I'll post it for everyone else to see:

Unpopular opinion, but I genuinely don't understand the "Men are inherently privileged in this society". Like, who's the first to die in wars? Who's always expected to sacrifice themselves and not expect any help? Who's seen as inherently dangerous and violent and thus experience police bias? Who's sexual violence victims are always overlooked and hardly every get any justice? Who's expected to be feminist for equal rights BUT pay for the woman they're not even dating yet? Ik last one isn't a huge deal, I'm saying that it's about always placing the financial burden on a man as if a woman is his child or something.

You may go on about how these issues are invented by men, but if you're a man or society forces you to be one, it doesn't help you anyhow or chanhe the situation. You have to sacrifice yourself, you have to go to the army, you will be ignored as a sa or violence victim. You can be a dead ass 'smash the patriarchy' dude but this won't save you from all of these issues. So where is the inherent privilege? I agree that male privileges do exist, but there are also disadvantages and pretty serious ones. How the fuck are we supposed to ignore all this?

- Like, who's the first to die in wars?

Let us by way of conclusion repeat the two major findings. The first is the fact that in ongoing wars which occur most often in developing countries, men die more frequently than women in direct armed conflicts, while more women than men die in post-conflict situations of the indirect causes of war. The other finding is the fact that we in general know very little about the conflict related mortality of both women and men in contemporary wars. Both findings hamper policy planning for military and humanitarian assistance. We have no good data on the causes of death in modern wars. Are male casualties a result of deadly wounds or of the lack of medical care or of other war related diseases? What are the causes of female deaths in post-conflict situations?

There really isn’t a good source out there that specifically says who dies more. The numbers you see are just totals of everyone who died.

https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.613.9724&rep=rep1&type=pdf

- Who's always expected to sacrifice themselves and not expect any help?

As a society, we tend to not care as much when it comes to the well being of men. We see what women go through as more tragic and more deserving of attention and resources when we should be paying attention to both. This is what is referred to as male disposability.

For example, cancer.

The 2nd deadliest cancer for women is breast cancer. The 2nd for men is prostate cancer.

nearly 10,000 men in the United States are diagnosed with testicular cancer each year. But you wouldn’t know it, from the cancer research funding. The National Cancer Institute spends twice as much funding research on breast cancer than it does on prostate cancer; the National Institutes of health spends almost three times more ($700 million, to prostate cancer’s $250 million).

It’s just in the US that prostate cancer gets lesser funding. The UK only has £12m that goes towards it while breast cancer gets £23m.

Oftentimes when you hear about cancer and you hear about fundraisers and such, it’s about breast cancer. Shining a light on it isn’t a bad thing, but we shouldn’t overlook what prostate cancer does to men.

ttps://www.cancerresearchuk.org/funding-for-researchers/facts-and-figures-about-our-research-funding-0

https://www.fatherly.com/health-science/prostate-cancer-research-funding-breast-cancer

Another example is homelessness. In Portland Oregon back in 2015, Mayor Charlie Hales said he wants to declare a housing emergency next month with the hope of providing shelter for all homeless women by year's end.

At that time, the percentage of adult women who were homeless was 30% while 58% of adult men were homeless.

https://www.portlandoregon.gov/toolkit/article/562207

https://www.oregonlive.com/portland/2015/09/portland_housing_emergency_to.html#:~:text=Portland%20Mayor%20Charlie%20Hales%20on%20Wednesday%20said%20he,homeless%20women%20by%20the%20end%20of%20the%20year.

- Who's sexual violence victims are always overlooked and hardly every get any justice?

Oftentimes, this goes unreported and not taken into account. That’s why we see low numbers. There’s this huge stigma that both men and women (some, not all of course) are at fault for. It’s seen as offensive to some that you would even mention it because they think it happens so little and your focus should be on the female victims.

Human trafficking is one such example.

Now, mounting evidence, along with the accounts of front-line psychologists and social workers, show that men and boys make up a significant proportion of victims of trafficking, validating Procopio's realization. A report by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime in 2012 estimated that men accounted for 25 percent of trafficking victims globally. Further, the Global Report on Trafficking in Persons estimated that 27 percent of all victims detected globally were children and that of those, one in three victims were boys.

In addition, staff at the National Human Trafficking Resource Center hotline identified more than 24,000 cases of human trafficking in the United States from 2012 to September 2016. Of those, 13 percent—or more than 3,000—were men.

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/04/sex-trafficking

Internationally, there has been a greater response to male victims of sex trafficking, especially in Asia and the Middle East where the crime is much more rampant. Service providers in the UAE recently opened the first center for male victims of human trafficking in Abu Dhabi and anti-trafficking organizations focusing solely on men such as Urban Light are common in Southeast Asia. In general, there are more foreign organizations working with male victims of sex trafficking because of the high rates of HIV / AIDS in Asia and the global south. Treatment for HIV / AIDS is often part of the rehabilitation and recovery services offered for male victims of sex trafficking. Even in developed countries, there has been a concern for male victims of sex trafficking. For example, in the United Kingdom there is growing awareness of the number of male victims after a report by the Salvation Army stated that 41 percent of human trafficking victims in the United Kingdom were men. Regardless of location or gender, what it really comes down to is that all victims of sex trafficking need a safe place for recovery and rehabilitation.

https://humantraffickingsearch.org/invisible-men-male-victims-of-sex-trafficking/

https://www.statista.com/statistics/300796/percentage-of-trafficking-victims-worldwide-by-gender-and-age/

That graph on Statista shows an increase in male victims from 2004 to 2018, although there was a 1% decrease from 2016-2018

Granted yes, women make up a large number of victims. However, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t recognize that it happens to both. I don’t think a lot of people realize that boys are victims as well. You just don’t think about it. You hear human trafficking and you think of women and girls. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to sound like we shouldn’t have any focus on women and girls, we just need to think about both. We should help both. We should give attention towards both.

- Who's seen as inherently dangerous and violent and thus experience police bias?

For all young men, regardless of skin color, police violence was also a leading cause of death between 2013 and 2018. Overall, women are about 20 times less likely to be killed by police than men.

The average lifetime odds of being killed by police are about 1 in 2,000 for men and about 1 in 33,000 for women.

https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1821204116

https://www.gilmorehealth.com/men-are-20-times-more-likely-than-women-to-be-killed-by-the-police-regardless-of-race/

- Who's expected to be feminist for equal rights BUT pay for the woman they're not even dating yet?

In a survey on love and finances conducted by Money and SurveyMonkey, 78% of respondents said they think men should pay on the first date. Out of the 4,447 participants, 20 percent disagreed, while 2 percent declined to answer.

Overall, women were slightly less united on the matter. While 85% of men agreed that their wallets should be on the line, only 72% of women said so. This trend held steady with every group except for divorcees, where women slightly edged out the men in answering “yes.”

The gender gap was widest among single people who have never been married: A full third of single women said men shouldn't be expected to foot the bill on the first outing. Also, a quarter of all millennials responded “no” when asked if they thought, in general, men should pay.

The survey does not account for regional disparities or the broad spectrum of relationships outside of the heterosexual. But for now, it appears men are still largely expected to pony up on the first date. So how much will this tradition cost them?

When asked how much was appropriate to spend on a first date, 41% of respondents answered $25 to $49. But many male respondents claimed to be bigger spenders: 43% of men said they expected to shell out between $50 and $99 on a first date.

And according to this:

Chivalry dictates that on a “date,” the man pays, whereas egalitarian ideals suggest that gender should not determine who pays. We examined the extent to which people embrace or reject these competing notions. Unmarried heterosexual participants (N = 17,607) reported their behaviors and attitudes regarding who does and who should pay for dates on a survey posted on NBCNews.com. Although most men (74%) and women (83%) report that both members of the couple contribute to dating expenses after dating for 6 months, most men (84%) and women (58%) reported that men still pay more expenses. Many women (39%) wished men would reject their offers to pay and 44% of women were bothered when men expected women to help pay. Many women, however, were bothered when men won’t accept their money (40%). Nearly two thirds of men (64%) believed that women should contribute and nearly half of men (44%) said they would stop dating a woman who never pays. Nevertheless, the majority of men said they feel guilty when accepting women’s money (76%). These data illustrate how many people are resisting or conforming to traditional gender norms in one telling aspect of dating that historically was related to the male’s displaying benevolent sexism, dominance, and ability to fulfill breadwinner role during courtship.

https://money.com/valentines-day-men-pay-first-date/

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2158244015613107

The answer as to who should pay really depends on the person. A common reason you’ll hear why men should is that they need to make a good first impression, it’s being a gentleman or if he asked, he should pay. Something along those lines. I think regardless of who asks, the first date should be split. That’s just my opinion.

This whole idea of men being “privileged” has done harm. It’s the only problem that has people not seeing that men have their own issues too, but it doesn’t help. It’s pretty hard to see it when you’re constantly being fed this idea that men are always benefiting in society (especially the more narrow you go with sexuality, race, etc.).

Some people might still see them as privileged while having their own issues. Others, the more extreme type, don’t see them as having problems. It seems impossible to them.

And that, everyone, is a huge problem

#mens rights #anti misandry #misandry #male privilege #double standards

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eboymoder · 8 months

Text

i love how a shit ton of transfemmes love to act like transmasculine oppression is not only less important, but mostly nonexistent, to the point of it even being heretically offensive to discuss in a way that takes it as seriously as transmisogyny or even like. seriously AT ALL and not just something to joke about doing to transmascs when they happen to be both annoying and someone who goes by a common name, like aiden.

like i know you get all your facts and logic from a bunch of super retarded twitblr baeddels but i do in fact regret to inform you that out of most known social demographic categories, transmasculine people have THE highest rates of suicide and sexual assault, especially compared to cis men and cis women, but even sometimes when compared to transfems!

but yeah, tell me more about how “transandrophobia” is just some reddit MRA shit. keep talking about how transmisogyny is the worst kind of oppression that could possibly happen to anyone ever and how transmascs are just transitioning because they hate women and want to attain male privilege, something not only regular for us all to want but definitely possible to achieve through the cis validation we are soooo totally receiving from society.

if you believe that being a man or transitioning into masculinity is INHERENTLY EVIL or makes you get MORE PRIVILEGE AND NOT WAY LESS OF IT FROM LITERALLY ANYBODY INCLUDING OUR OWN SUPPOSED ALLIES then i am sorry to say but i think the thing that is poisoning your brain and making you stupid is not testosterone. it might be 4chan though, you might wanna get that checked out. being a woman does not make you inherently softer, more pure, more innocent, kinder, more deserving of love. none of those things. and in fact, acting like women can do no wrong by virtue of simply existing as their gender is often used to silence victims of abusive women, because feminism or something. absolutely shut the fuck up.

god you are all so stupid. why the fuck would a man with a pussy or boobs get MORE RESPECT instead of MORE KILLED AND HUMILIATED. WE BY VIRTUE OF BEING BORN ARE FAILDAUGHTERS WHO ARE CONSTANTLY REMINDED OF OUR INHERENT LACK OF THE MANY CENTRAL DEFININITIVE CHARACTERISTICS ASSOCIATED WITH MANLINESS. WHY WOULD WE BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY BY “REAL” MEN AND WOMEN, AS WE ARE SEEN TO BE NEITHER OF THOSE?

imagine let’s say, a trans man. scary, fucked up, i know right, but bear with me now, i have a point to make. so this guy is for all intents and purposes completely cis-passing. his voice is deep and melodic. he has full grown facial hair. his facial structure is like a chad wojak. he isnt getting bald from taking t yet. he’s skinny, but not to the point of looking twinky or like a femboy. he isn’t overly emotional in a womancoded way most of the time. he’s white. he’s got a good job that pays well enough to not be homeless or starving. so yeah, all of those things. except for one crucial difference: he does not wish to pursue bottom surgery. he enjoys having a vagina. he is also interested in having sexual relationships, exclusively with other men-identified people.

here’s where things get tricky. you know the trans panic murder legality exception? that still does apply to transmascs too, you know. we are also transgendereds. but yeah so this guy decides to hook up with a stranger off a dating app. things are going fine. he hasnt yet disclosed his birth sex, he had no pronouns in bio, he is assumed to be cis.

wow, you think, this guy is living the dream. he is so privileged for this.

sike, you fucking idiot. he is about to get hatecrimed and abused as soon as he does the pussy reveal. he will probably also get raped. the guy he wanted to have a fun time with actually hates women so much he thinks that sometimes they try to become men to trick true homosexuals. he fucking gets this guy. transmasc chad is now dead. when his funeral happens, his estranged parents retcon his legal name change from years prior to deadname and misgender him as a final slap in the face. where is this privilege then? huh? tell me, quickly now.

every single fucking hate crime that is possible to do to a transfeminine person is just as easily possible to do to a transmasculine person. absolutely fuck yourself if you disagree. because it can and does happen. not only that, but we experience unique things you never will be able to: getting pregnant, getting raped in ways that could make us pregnant, if we want to get pregnant we have to temporarily detransition in order to do so, period associated symptoms that involve painful bleeding and not just period-lite emotional swings like some people experience on estrogen. stuff like that is what we need our own words for, you just wouldnt get it.

you just live in a bubble full of shetheyits who love to be stupid online and expect the entire world to kiss their toes in response when they say things that are just completely and objectively wrong but frame themselves in a tactical light in order to shit on the most amount of people they can just to fucking feel something. why do you love re-creating or appropriating existing structures of oppression and drawing lines in the sand arbitrarily with people you should be experiencing sympathy for because we are more like you than we are not like you. society hates us all, dont you dare forget that.

#transandrophobia

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little-dandelionn · 10 months

Text

the barbie movie was incredible

no because you guys (the literal 0 people who follow me) don't understand how much i loved this movie. it's genuinely one of the best movies i've seen in years, and here's why.

for one, it confronts the fact that patriarchy is not beneficial for men nor women, and in fact, it actually harms both. like ken says in the movie, he quickly lost interest when he figured out it wasn't about horses. but for real, i think ken lost interest because he realized that being "in charge" wasn't what made him happy. being an accessory to barbie didn't make him happy either, but figuring out that neither of these things fulfilled him pushed him into the uncomfortable unknown, a place everyone hates. i like how we didn't 100% see what ended up happening with ken, what he decided to go with his life, his purpose. i think it makes it feel more real and relatable because in reality, a journey to self-discovery is a long one. it's not something that can be resolved in a 2-hour time frame, and not showing how his story ends was an incredibly smart choice by greta gerwig, because really, our stories never really end, you know what i mean?

for women, i think it's quite obvious how the patriarchy doesn't benefit/harms them. of course, women have been oppressed in a much more obvious way than men have for centuries. but i think seeing barbie enter a world where she isn't the "most important" or whatever (i'm not really sure how to describe it, kinda like the opposite of patriarchy i guess) was really cool because we get to see how the realization of treatment towards women in today's society might look from an adult's point of view who's just learning about it, rather than someone who's grown up experiencing it. seeing someone experience it where it wasn't the norm for them was a really interesting perspective to see, something we don't often get to witness in films. this point also goes for ken realizing the privilege he has in the real world, it was really cool to see how that sort of realization would affect someone who's been treated as an accessory their whole lives.

i thought sasha's initial confrontation with barbie was a very bold, but good, choice. seeing a young teenage girl clearly acknowledge the issues in our society that affect women and young girls was really refreshing because we don't often see things like that addressed in highly anticipated movies. just generally acknowledging the unrealistic beauty standards that are set for women in our current society was a huge step and i admire greta gerwig for including that in the movie. she could have easily just made it so sasha made a vague comment about it, but i love that she decided to just go full throttle with it and acknowledge it for what it truly is. i know that from an outsider's view who's maybe only seen some clips, it looks like that's a huge part of the movie, but realistically, the confrontation of unrealistic beauty standards was actually a very minuscule part of the movie, really only included to help barbie realize that she isn't doing what she thought she was for young girls, which is why i commend greta gerwig for including it. she could have replaced that bit with something having to do with unfair wages and how people still refuse to hire women for certain jobs purely because of their gender. but she didn't.

i also absolutely loved how ruth handler made an appearance as a character in the movie, mostly just because i liked seeing how the perspective of the creator of barbie might have looked had she been alive and really put into this situation.

a couple small details i thought were nice:

at the beginning of the movie, we see sasha wearing full dark gray/black/monochrome clothes, and then in the last scene we see her wearing a pink shirt.

i thought barbie going by the name barbara handler at the end of the movie was a really cute detail. it kinda makes me feel like ruth handler sees this barbie as her own daughter (which makes sense because she literally named barbie after her daughter lmao).

some things i wish had shown up in the movie:

i do wish that they had used ken's character to at least show a little bit of how unrealistic beauty standards for men can affect them, but then again that wasn't particularly the point of the movie so i'm not mad about it. i would love to see a movie sometime in the future, just any movie, confronting those societal pressures, because i feel like not many people talk about how societal expectations for men can affect them and translate into toxic masculinity.

i would have loved to see a bit more of a discussion about beauty standards for women, but again that wasn't the point of the movie so i'm okay with the fact that there wasn't more discussion about it. i still love that there was any discussion at all about it though, so there's that.

#barbie #greta gerwig #margot robbie #ryan gosling #america ferrera #ken #i am kenough #god i love this movie #no literally like this was one of the best ideas for a movie in the history of ever

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drsorrell · 2 years

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Mon. 10.24.22 (SVC)

Announcements & Reminders

Review Friday’s online activity

Activity/Discussion

Close Reading Activity, Part Two (on Schoology, in groups) With the other members of your group, read through these quotes carefully, paying attention to how the sentences are constructed and the specific use of language. Talk about the quote in question before you write a response together. When you're done talking, please write up your response (one per group), post it, and we will talk about all of them.\

How does the author use language to get his or her point across? What is that point? Do you think that the author does a good job of it? Group 1: Madeline, Abby, Josiah, Justin (8:30) Tanner, Kayleigh, Jose, Brad, Colt, Steve (9:30) Damon Linker, “Liberals’ Astonishingly Radical Shift on Gender” (666) "That's because all societies — as collectivities of individuals sharing a common culture as well as common laws, rules, and norms (including linguistic rules and norms) — invariably constrain individuals more than they would be if they lived in absolute isolation from others. Any one of those limits on the individual will can feel as if it's an intolerable constraint, and the principle of individual freedom can always be invoked in order to combat it" (670). Group 2: Anton, Emma, Chrys, Dylan (8:30) Ben G, Ben H, Grace, Hailie, Jude, Carolina (9:30) Anne-Marie Slaughter, “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” (673) "I am well aware that the majority of American women face problems far greater than any discussed in this article. I am writing for my demographic—highly educated, well-off women who are privileged enough to have choices in the first place. We may not have choices about whether to do paid work, as dual incomes have become indispensable. But we have choices about the type and tempo of the work we do. We are the women who could be leading, and who should be equally represented in the leadership ranks" (682). Group 3: Robbie, Francis, Tonio, Steven (8:30) Jacob, Camdon, Jaden, Shannon, Brady, Jessica (9:30) Richard Dorment, “Why Men Still Can’t Have It All” (694) "My wife makes more money than I do. We majored in the same thing at the same college at the same time, and when I chose to go into journalism, she chose to go to law school. She works longer hours, shoulders weightier responsibilities, and faces greater (or at least more reliable) prospects for long-term success, all of which are direct results of choices that we made in our early twenties. She does more of the heavy lifting with our young son than I do, but I do as much as I can. (Someone else watches him while we are at work.) I do a lot of cooking and cleaning around our house. So does she. I don't keep score (and she says she doesn't), and it's hard to imagine how our life would work if we weren't both giving every day our all" (699).

EXAMPLE "To them, payday lenders were predatory sharks, charging high interest rates on loans and exorbitant fees for cashed checks. The sooner they were snuffed out, the better...To me, payday lenders could solve important financial problems" (Vance 439) Vance uses "to them" and "to me" here to highlight a completely different way of viewing the world, which is super clever because he's not just saying, those morons are wrong but more, they don't have my life experience, so they just don't get where I'm coming from. This goes with his whole point, that elites don't understand where people like him are coming from, and he has a truly unique and enlightening perspective for the rest of us (rest of us morons, maybe??).

Homework

Read the following Chapter 23 “What’s Gender Got to Do With It?” texts before class:

Helen Lewis, “The Coronavirus Is a Disaster for Feminism” (715)

Sanjana Ramanathan, “An End to Sexism in Gaming Communities” (723)

Monica Wright, “Why We Need Title IX Now More Than Ever” (731)

Do InQuizitive (15): Pronouns That Don’t Agree with Their Antecedents before class.

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discoveringsandra · 3 years

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Characters I project my transness on: Shrek's Fiona

GENERAL SPOILER ALERT FOR THE SHREK MOVIE FRANCHISE

A subversion af the damsel in distress trope, Fiona isn't an ordinary princess. She burps, kicks ass and is generally disappointed by actual princes.

In the first movie, she transformed into an ogre by night. She saw this as a curse until she learned to love both another ogre and this side of herself. Even if she hasn't always looked like an ogre, she ends up renouncing to normative beauty and living as one.

Then, she spends the second film trying to convince her parents to love both her husband and her identity, while his father tries to get her to fit into the fairy tale princess role she was meant to have. It turns out her father was just preventing her from risking his own position as human-looking king, since marrying her with a prince was part of the deal he made with a fairy when he was a toad (I can't blame him for wanting to make Julie Andrews his queen, though).

This film has many queer experience parallels, with both Fiona's parents and Far Far Away's elitist society being outraged by her life choices, as well as the father projecting his own anxieties about fitting in this society on to his daughter. I would say that there are a couple of kind of queerphobic jokes, one about the Big Bad Wolf being gender-confused (which is more or less okay since it comes from the main villain) and a really weird one on pinocchio wearing women's underwear (which is not okay since he is a child and they are mockingly confronting him on this to use his elongated nose).

Going back to our favourite ogre princess, the plot of the third movie has her staying back home while Shrek goes to find a heir for the kingdom's throne and overcome his parenthood anxiety. However, the Charming Prince she was supposed to marry on the second movie comes back and takes the kingdom during her baby shower. We get to see her starting a princesses' escape and fight evil goons while being pregnant, but I think se was kind of separated from the main plot so Shrek could come to her rescue again at the end, which is why this is the least interesting movie in the franchise.

The fourth movie does the "Its a Wonderful Life" thing where an unsatisfied Shrek goes to an alternate reality in which he has never been born. The version of Fiona we see there is a warrior, the leader of the ogre resistance to Rumpelstilskin tyrannical rule. She rescued herself from the tower she was locked in in the first film and it's implied she still becomes human by day and does some reconnaisance, but she is fully accepted among the ogres. Although she's got her own revolution going on, her whole arc is learning to trust Shrek so he can learn to not give her for granted once he comes back to his reality, which kind of undermines the whole revolutionary leader thing.

Still, drawing my own transgender parallel, the difference between this two realities in how ogres are treated can be seen as the difference in how real world countries treat the LGBTQ+ community. Main timeline Shrek and Fiona are more or less respected because they had a chance to fight for their rights as well as the privilege given to Fiona for being a princess. Resistance leader Fiona never had a chance to convince her powerful parents to respect her identity as an ogre because they lost their kingdom to Rumpelstilskin, who then started hunting down ogres, forcing them into hiding away from the rest of society. That's the present many queer people around the world have to live, the past those who live free can't forget and the possible future we'll never stop fearing.

This took a pretty dark turn so let's ask ourselves "what if Fiona was actually trans?" Well, if Fiona was a transgender male ogre, the plot would be essentially the same except the pregnancy in the third movie would be replaced by an adoption waiting list and the transformation in the second movie would be a metaphor for detransitioning out of family pressure. Also, male ogre Fiona (Finn?) would wear lumberjack shirts and his alternate reality version would cosplay Braveheart.

If Fiona was a transgender female ogre, though, the plot would be radically different. I think she would still dress as a princess when she was in human male form and there would be jokes similars to those on the Ugly Stepsister (oh, I forgot about her and her deep voice, she's "ugly" because she's got masculine traits, so funny 😒) but with some sort of catharsis once she becomes permanently an ogress. I guess Farquad would be extra rude to her but she would still think she had to marry him to break the curse, then Shrek confesses her love, enter the dragon and I'm a believer. I guess Prince Charming would still try to marry a remasculinized Fiona in the second film (come on, he's a queer coded villain) and, for sure, the king would still try to fool her to do it. The third and fourth movie wouldn't change much, as Fiona's past human form is irrelevant in the third and she never appears in human form in the fourth. Maybe her daylight human male form would be a more obvious parallel of how trans women have to go on boymode to survive.

To finish this already too long tirade, I just want to add that the idea of Fiona's true form seems to be fluid. Had the hero of the story been a human peasant, she would probably still stay a pretty normative princess, even if he accepted her as an ogre, like a gender reversed Beauty and the Beast. I love that they didn't go for that ending.

#characters i project my transness on #princess fiona #shrek #transgender #trans #queer #I didn't even mention donkey #lord farquaad #far far away #rumplestiltskin #prince charming #fairy godmother #big bad wolf #Pinocchio #Ugly Stepsister #Shrek as a coming out movie #I think I spent too much time on this one

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mistressemmedi · 3 years

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Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

Greetings from Miley Cyrus - phenomenal numbers.

The streams of Zitti e Buoni are growing by the second, and ahead of Muse, on the top of the English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. We almost tripled followers after Rotterdam (from 1.4 to 3.3 million, ed). Contagious and universal madness: T-shirts and merchandise sold out in 10 minutes. Like records, tickets for a tour that adds dates and expands on maps. They are even looking for us in festivals where the Rolling Stones have played. - Thomas

After the whole cocaine scandal that was started against us from France, which was later denied by my drug test, in Spain there people have been making murals with my face saying "No drugs". Some tweets made us laugh: «Congratulations, Italy! I have never been so sure that four people have fucked each other ". Miley Cyrus started following us. "You are great". “You are more” . - Damiano

From rags to riches - what a story

It was only 2016, and we were playing in restaurants, on the streets, in via del Corso (famous street in Rome). Damiano without a microphone, Thomas's guitar with broken strings, Ethan drummed on a cajón. At the occupations of the high schools in Rome (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first gigs and half an hour of fame, between those who criticized us and those who said "these guys are so cool". One of the rare times in which they offered to pay us to play - 50 euros each - we offered that money to those after us, in exchange for the chance to play during their time slow, as we knew there would have been a bigger crowd. We already understood then how it worked. That visibility was worth more than the money. We still think so ». - Victoria

The intimacy of rock - Choice of a genre

Music allows is this miracle which allows one to talk about very personal and private topics, even difficult and delicate ones. They are and remain deeply yours, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage which is like a delivery, they also find their place in you, their elaboration. They are overcome, they are accepted. One moment it feels aggressive, one moment later a (soft) ballad. It's very cathartic. - Damiano

Against panic - The stage as therapy

I have suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it is a problem that I have worked on thanks to a course of psychotherapy, to my friends and family. Playing has helped me not to let myself be paralyzed by my fears, not to be limited in my private and professional life. I have learned to accept, to live with this side of me. I don't hide it. I no longer feel ashamed. - Victoria

This belief that only crazy people go to the psychologist is widespread ignorance. Nobody is born learned. And it is often difficult to understand why we are here, let alone the derivation and direction of our desires. It is a long and legitimate journey towards one's clarity. - Damiano

Essere fuori di testa – Ma diversi da loro (Be out of your mind - But different from them)

Already feeling a strong passion for something that is not a 'regular' profession but an artistic language, it puts you on a level where you're an anomaly, and while you're neither superior nor inferior to others, it places you in the condition of what breaks the mold but you're also being at a loss, leaving it to you to be bold and to take risks, hoping that they will pay off and land you somewhere. "What good is it if you don't stand out on your own?". You want to give it an aesthetic to your artistic dream, but to others it boils down to " You dress differently! You must be gay! ”, I'm 22 now and it makes me laugh, but at 17 it had an effect on me too. - Damiano

The beauty of being unique - Of believing in that and defending it

After all, we are all different not because we want to be alternative but because really no one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty. - Ethan

Fluid sexuality - Pride is freedom

We appreciate heels on men, we kiss each other, we have an open, extended mind, and we are proud of it. The horizons become vast, beyond the oppression of conservative families. With information on the web, knowledge is enriched and with it the possibility that minorities will be fewer and fewer, because majorities will be fewer and fewer. This will lower the volume to insults and bullying. If social networks can reach a village of 50 souls to reveal to someone, who is afraid of the darkness, that someone has felt that same fear.. There is no longer the need to give it a name, to define that "something" to fear, to brand it with labels that only limit you. Definitions have always had this effect on me. Gender should not even be considered in a person's judgment. Let alone orientation ". - Victoria

Sexism - A culture to be dismantled

Emma (Italian singer) dropped the bomb:" When I went to Eurovision, they insulted me over a pair of shorts. Damiano - half naked and in heels - was never criticized ". The judgment against women is constant, ferocious, and demeaning (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool but Vic a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader she is domineering and pain in the ass, who is successful because only because of her looks [and not the hard work she puts in]). As a male I am privileged, the harassment I suffer is not comparable to that experienced by a woman, the comments on my aesthetics are focused only on my aesthetics and do not insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thinking in a systemic way. But I did find myself in a situation, out of nowhere, with someone who, pulling close to her for a selfie, started licking my face ... "What do you want, did you ask me?" Consent exists, and it is a must ». - Damiano

To grow as a person - The only rule to follow

For me, to conform is the total opposite of educating oneself, and the asphyxiation of one's expression (of freedom). Fortunately, I did not suffer heavy bullying, to the point where I felt I needed to change to adapt to how others saw me. But the matrix of who I am and the aggression that marks me is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and loves dolls, then allow me the freedom to do so. I used to be a kid who wanted long hair and played with Barbies. My friends, as a teenager, looked my long hair and teased me: "You have to find yourself a girl with a short hair to make up for it". My grandparents took the dolls away from me and said: “Stop it, they're not for you” ». - Ethan

“I was six and I already could not tolerate the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things typically defined as feminine as a child, and they made fun of me for skating, for playing soccer, for not wearing skirts, for giving myself the chance to be as I wanted to be. I suffered a little, as I was bullied, but I had courage to stay true to myself, and today thanks to that courage I know that I could have been much more hurt, or I would have risked leaving the most important decision to others: the one about being just me". - Victoria

Love - music and girlfriends

I've been married to music for the past 20 years. I cannot wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary. - Ethan

Everyone goes through their own experiences, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, but it's never other people's business." - Thomas

When, for the first time, I developed feelings and attraction for a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage to go beyond the limitations I had imposed on myself. For society, being heterosexual is the norm and therefore often one automatically pegs himself in that way, giving up the freedom to experience many different shades and facets of love. Once I got over the initial insecurity of having to question one's own certainties, I lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone. - Victoria

I had paparazzi under my house morning and night. So, after four years of relationship, I finally revealed her name. I still have the paparazzi under my house morning and night, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore. - Damiano

The value of the group - Protecting each other

But the real relationship, the real family, is between us. Our band. We believed in it from the first day, even before calling ourselves Måneskin (moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon, on the poster for our first concert. We share everything, even the pain of the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because he was a victim of racism. Being a group is what we should all do together: stay united and not retreat in the slightest in the face of abuses generated by a distorted vision of someone "being different|. - Thomas

Non ho l’età – like Gigliola (It references Gigliola Cinquetti who won both Sanremo and Eurovision with her song "Non ho l’età" which translates to Not old enough)

Before us, the only one to win Sanremo and Eurovision together was Gigliola Cinquetti (in 1964). Is there is something for which I feel I am not yet old enough for? No, honestly no. Maybe for kids. I'll be honest, I'm not enough to be a dad. - Damiano

Reached the sky - What fears still remain

We are more than in the dream, we have conquered the dream. To fly high this high, there is the risk is to fall and get hurt, but we will try not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - somewhat presumptuously - reassures us rather than frighten us ". - Damiano

(ORIGINAL INTERVIEW IN ITALIAN)

[Please note that I have changed some words or structure sentence, trying to make it so that the interview made more sense lol - I skipped the first two paragraphs, which was basically the interviewer gushing over how pretty the band is lmao (relatable).

Any mistakes in the translation are sorely mine, nothing was proofread, so apologies in advance]

#maneskin #ethan torchio #damiano david #victoria de angelis #thomas raggi #i'm off to drink some wine lol

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thechangeling · 2 years

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So I got into a debate with a person in one of my classes yesterday about self diagnosis so I thought I’d share my thoughts with you.

Little background: this guy is a white autistic man who was diagnosed in his earlier years of primary school. I don’t even know how the conversation got here the class has nothing to do with any of this, but oh well.

He was arguing that self diagnosing takes away resources from people who “actually need them” and he said you should go see a doctor and get evaluated. (I argued that doctors don’t listen to anyone but white men but that point was quickly dropped in the conversation).

I was diagnosed with autism later in my life. I didn’t get access to resources at school. I almost failed classes (specifically math because I can’t read numbers). I was never offered any additional support because I wasn’t diagnosed, and part of why I wasn’t diagnosed is because my mother didn’t want me evaluated. I wasn’t getting any additional resources.

And even if people who don’t have diagnoses get resources and help. So? I’d rather people receive help they don’t need than people fail to get help when they need it.

I’m not saying faking a disability or disorder is good. I’m saying we need to stop letting that be our number one reason we won’t give resources to people who are “autistic looking” white men who fit societies idea for what an autistic person should look like and act like.

Yeah preach I am 100% with you on this one. Autistic white men don't get to speak on self diagnosis when doctors don't gaslight and dismiss them. They have probably never gone through the experience of telling a doctor about what is probably asthma and hearing your doctor tell you to just get more exercise or that it's probably allergies.

Afab people, women, and poc ESPECIALLY woc are never listened to by our doctors whether it's physical or mental. The reason why people think autism "affects" boys more than girls is because they're diagnosing boys more. Same goes for poc. Doctors think that only white boys can be autistic because in the early days of autism that's who the research was done on and that bias is reflected today.

Everytime some dumb ass white boy says shit about self diagnosis I think of all the girls and people perceived as girls that are "too sensative" or "lazy and stupid" they aren't trying hard enough apparently. We're too niave and overly anxious. Very self critical and prone to depression. The survivors of so much abuse that is made to seem like our fault. But we're not actually autistic right?/s I think about the manic pixie dream girl trop and how it clearly depicts autistic girls as a fun toy for nt men to spice up their lives, but no one wants to acknowledge that. I think about the infantilization and the fetishization.

I think about all the poc who got stereotyped as violent and dangerous from such a young age for having the same disability that white boys are coddled by adults for. I think about how Black autistic people stimming are often seen as dangerous and that often leads to police violence. I think about how most of the autistic people murded by police were POC. I think about autistic women of colour who get the worst of it because they deal with all of it. The racism and the neuromisogyny. I think about how autistic black kids are more likely to be diagnosed with conduct disorder or oppositional defiance disorder instead of autism.

I think about all of this and it makes me furious. I was lucky enough to be diagnosed at a young age because my mom had a family friend who specialized in autism and basically said, "your daughter is autistic." But I know most afab people aren't that lucky.

And I'll never understand the years spend hating yourself for just not being able to do things that your peers could and wondering why. Just like that boy will never understand. Whenever people bitch about self diagnosis and saying "just go get diagnosed" like it's so easy, they are showing their privilege.

Another thing I wanted to touch on is the idea that people who are self diagnosed are taking resources from us. It's stupid and just plain untrue. People who don't have a diagnosis don't even get accommodations most of the time. And if there isn't enough resources to go around then the problem isn't with the people self diagnosing, It's a problem with the government not putting enough money into special education!!!

It is such classic Democrat or Republican bullshit to blame other disabled people instead of blaming the system. They should be putting more money into hiring more EAs. But they would much rather have disabled people fighting amongst themselves over who "deserves it more". This is why you in my opinion can't be a leftist without caring about disability politics and vice versa. They're connected.

Anyways yeah autistic cis white men need to shut up and let us speak.

#asks #mutuals!#rory tag!#actually autistic #tw racism #tw ableism #tw mysoginy #tw neuromisogyny #tw police brutality

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bl-garbage · 4 years

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i’m not over Gaya sa Pelikula episode 5. the sheer layers of storytelling we have, and i know you all have pointed them out. long post incoming:

employed foreshadowing in the two horror stories and the events that later followed. from the story of the nurse seeing the cadaver in his own closet to Vlad seeing the photo of a young Karl, now a grown man and so different from the child he once was; and from the man looking at his own self holding his own heart, to Karl holding his own heart as he looked at himself in the mirror. these are not horror stories -- they are real. in the next episode, we will find the consequences of these actions.

the brownout as a device. do we not tell our stories in the dark? queer people have long been used to telling stories in this familiar place. they do not dare to tell it under the sun, for all of the world to see because stories like theirs are resented just for being. this drinking session in the dark, when no one is around and anyone else is out of earshot, that is when stories so honest, so brutal and unabashedly true, are released. this scene was beautiful and cathartic.

anna is no plot device. she’s a beautiful, multilayered, flawed character. who would have thought anna was a mom? i know i’m surprised. and yet the writer did not leave her be only to be a friend for comedic purposes. she was there to tell her own story, like everyone else does. she has agency as a woman, and for an 8-episode series that bills itself as a BL series it is really commendable to grasp the complexity of all its characters, not let them be tossed aside. and you know what? Vlad even shined in this scene. women and queer people have long stood side by side, aware and empathic of their fundamental disadvantages in society. the queer struggle is rooted in the victories of the feminist struggle, after all, and in this scene we zoom in on just how that takes form, even in the simplest of ways. just look at how Vlad immediately accepts anna’s story, and does not even judge her.

the effortless gender sensitivity. the episode does its best to quash stigmas in the queer community itself. when Karl said, for instance, that In fairness, Vlad, you’re not obviously effeminate, Vlad was quite quick to correct him, and here we see an innocent Karl simply accepting his mistake, saying sorry, and intently listening when Vlad goes on to explain where he went wrong. in that moment we were all anna, smiling in sheer excitement that this kind of thing casually happens, for is that not what queer people fear at time? that even when you know better and want to correct other people for their mistakes, you'd still second guess yourself or choose if it's even okay or perhpas you're imposing your own ideals on another person. yet, Gaya sa Pelikula does away with that and shows that, ihdeed, ignorance is not cured by anger, but education. what Karl said is a common microaggression against the queer community that unfortunately, many shows (BLs, even) fall prey to. Gaya sa Pelikula is not only good plot-wise, but it is also careful to weigh its options of which important lessons it needs to impart. it is proof that BL shows shouldn’t be just for entertainment; they must advance change.

from the dark, to the blinding light. the rather smooth transition from Karl having to teach Vlad and Vlad even stepping on Karl, with Karl taking the lead; and then, to the prom they had in their minds: beautiful, well-lit, but only for them. a dream come true for Vlad—for any queer person deprived of the simple joys, of something as simple as the privilege to dance. the hope of things getting better.

Karl took the lead at first, but then Vlad did. in the beginning, it was Karl who led a reticent Vlad to the prom dance; yet, when they donned the suits and danced in the light, the roles changed. Vlad was taking the lead. it was as though, when Karl opened up to Vlad and practically told him, ‘it’s okay to be yourself with me,’ that gave Vlad the license to really be himself, be confident and free to express what he felt, share what he knew. note that during the transition, Vlad was at first so surprised by the lights! he did not know that things could turn out so good for him and Karl, and yet it was halpening. so he was so confident, leading Karl in the dance, to make Karl feel what he feels. he even said, “simplehan na lang natin (let’s make things simple).” i find meaning in that, too: see, Vlad has known himself to be gay since high school, but here we have Karl who does not even begin to question for himself who and what he is. Vlad knows this. he even sang, ever so softly into Karl’s ears, as if to say that it’s okay if you're only beginning your journey now. things are discovered, one step at a time.

in the end, karl was smiling. confused, but happy. holding his heart, beating so loud, karl does not know what to feel. is that not the experience of every queer person? to know that, perhaps for the first time ever, things are “different” from what they've been conditioned to believe? and yet the most confusing thing is that it feels good and freeing and warm. in the dark, when no one is around, Karl felt his heart, saw his own reflection, and even though he does not admit it yet, Karl knows he is happy. this is the true turning point of the story. i am quite sure we'll experience the sadness next episode, so be sure to be ready.

i am just so overwhelmed by Gaya sa Pelikula. it is not only aesthetically beautiful, but is also filled with nuances that i am not afraid to look more into it. perhaps i have been too saturated with a lot of just fun, but really nonsensical BLs, that i almost forgot that those shouldn’t be the standard. instead, we deserve ones that truly cater to our needs, tell our stories, and make a shot for things going to be better. to be sure, Gaya sa Pelikula was written by a queer screenplay writer himself, which only confirms the need for more stories told by queer people, for queer people.

Gaya sa Pelikula does what others are not doing. and so much more.

there are three more episodes, but i have no doubt that it will turn out excellent, far exceeding yet again my already high expectations.

in the aftermath of episode 5, i hark back to what juan miguel severo, the show’s writer and producer, had promised: “We will take back our story!”

and, indeed, through this episode, he proves that he already has.

#gaya sa pelikula #gayasapelikulaep05 #ian pangilinan #paolo pangilinan #bl series #juan miguel severo #screenplay #things are just so good and i'm not even afraid that we only have 3 episodes left!!!!!!!#i just believe in it #that it will be so good #that i'll be satisfied with 8 episodes

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mikeshanlon · 3 years

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i really enjoy the way young royals explores the theme of legacy and how detrimental it can be to have to live up to a legacy or be obsessed with reputation. (analysis and thoughts under the cut)

i think wilhelm resents the fact that he has to live up to the role of being in the royal family and yet is very afraid of ruining that legacy bc of all the pressure. before he was sent off to hillerska he went to a normal school and wanted normal people around him and was content with erik having to take on the responsibilities of crown prince. and when he does have to assume that role he says he can never be erik, that he’s always had to be compared to him and obviously doesn’t like that. but even before erik passed and he had to take on those duties he was afraid of fucking up the legacy of the crown, when he sees that sign in the hallway that says you are in charge of your own legacy after he holds hands with simon, his anxiety worsens. you can tell it’s been instilled in him for a long time that what is most important is the crown’s reputation rather than his own wants. in the scene where him and simon fight about alexander being caught, he obviously wants simon to stay, but he focuses on how him doing drugs will fuck up his family’s reputation if it gets leaked. as much as he cares for simon, his legacy and his duties are like this oppressive cloud hanging over him.

i do think that wille cares for his family of course but to me it’s different that the sort of loyal unconditional care with simon and his sister/mom. erik and wille had unconditional love, erik understood how difficult being a prince in the public eye was, and wille obviously cared for him deeply and felt like he could to talk to him about issues. his relationship with the queen is much more strained, she wants a tailored, doctored representation of him in the media, he cannot be anxious and bite his nails, she makes all the decisions for him. family is important to wille partially because it has to be bc of how special his family is. he helps his family, he helps august pay his tuition, and then makes a point of disowning august after his betrayal as his new “brother”. but again, because of the royal status and expectations upon the family, that supersedes and colors all of their relationships with each other. it seems to be more a sense of “duty” than unconditional love. especially after erik’s death, wille always has to consider how the crown’s image will be impacted, even though he never wanted to have this responsibility, or even the responsibility of being the “regular” prince under erik. being a family unit that is under constant public scrutiny is going to strain relationships. the queen knows that the anxiety of fucking up his legacy will get to him, and she uses that to get wilhelm to back out of admitting it was him in the video and coming out. wilhelm has to choose between his own happiness and their reputation, is forced to think that denying it’s him in the video is the only way. he loves simon and wanted to live freely, but that pressure of legacy won out.

i don’t know if i think wille necessarily values the crown over his own personal happiness and relationships, like in the way maybe the queen does--i don’t think it comes from a place of “i’m lucky to be prince and owe my duty to the crown, so i do what i have to do to stay that way” (like how the queen said the crown is a privilege not a punishment), but from fear of destroying the legacy and his family. afterall, he still wanted to pursue a secret relationship with simon, i think if he fully valued the crown and uplifting legacy and fulfilling his duties he wouldn’t have tried that. he wouldn’t have made a point to tell simon he loves him. hopefully we get another season because i think with the iconic ending revolution rendition and him looking in the camera, which also parallels the shot of him being forced to apologize/go to hillerska, he is realizing that focusing on legacy is taking away what’s important to him, and he’s going to shake shit up.

august is definitely the most obsessed with legacy, wanting to carry on his father’s business, being persistent on befriending wilhelm and trying to social climb, wanting power and perfection with being prefect, rowing captain etcetera. he is so obsessed with perfection and reputation he gets addicted to drugs, he fucks with simon and makes him get stuff for parties he can’t afford because good parties will make him look better, he manipulates sara multiple times, he mostly wanted felice because of her nobility, he fucking films wilhelm and simon and OUTS him, his own cousin. he hates that wille has everything he wants but isn’t as interested in preserving and more importantly improving the legacy he’s inheriting. meanwhile august’s familial legacy is dwindling, and he holds on to the last bit of assets and names that he can.... v much sick and a weirdo that shows how harmful being obsessed with legacy is

the queen is of course v focused on legacy and it really breaks my heart and makes me angry that she doesn’t care about wilhelm’s happiness more than their reputation, and moreso doesn’t get august in trouble for literally leaking child p*rn of her kid for the sake of appearances?!?!?! like how is he even remotely trustworthy she is wrong for that! like i said earlier the obsession with legacy puts a strain on their mother/son relationship. she doesn’t even really say anything about wille’s sexuality or his relationship, and barely comforts him, mostly goes in with a plan she’s already concocted without him to fix everything.

erik seemed to understand and accept his role as crown prince but obviously had issues with it as well, like when he makes the plan for him and wilhelm to run from the press, or when he tells wilhelm to enjoy himself while there aren’t so many eyes on him that care. erik shows someone who has more unconditional love and empathy but still has to focus on legacy and is much more inclined to continue his legacy, but we do see those glimpses over how even the most “ideal” attitude of preserving legacy causes issues.

felice is expected to live up to her mother’s legacy, of being an equestrian, of being the lucia, but she doesn’t want either of those things. her mother wants her to be thinner and straighten her hair, and find someone of nobility to be with. obviously she does find wilhelm attractive lol but i think the main reason she pursued him and definitely why she pursued august was because she was expected to social climb and have royal kids. felice feels the need to portray a false narrative of herself on social media to uphold a certain image of herself. it’s very fucked up that her mom wants those values instilled in her but i love that felice was putting up boundaries and pushing back against her mother and the narrative she’s supposed to live up to. her giving sara the role of lucia and focusing on supporting her friends more in the latter half of the season shows growth and i’m excited to see where her story goes.

sara is interesting because she seems to want to reject the legacy of her family and being working class and to fit in with the elite of hillerska. sara hates micke, hates that simon contacted him because it’s bringing in this “shameful” and painful part of their past (which i mean is def fair). other than sara’s betrayal in 1.06, i think the scene where she tells her family that she wants to reside at hillerska really exemplifies where she’s at in her relation to legacy/class. after dining at hillerska and living amongst the elite she gets annoyed at eating around the TV, she blames her mother for not leaving micke sooner, she gets angry with simon for caring for her. she wants to lead her own life, be popular and wanted because people want her, not for pity (even though i think simon of course truly cares abt his sister she feels annoyed with his protection and care). felice says early on that she thinks sara doesn’t care what other’s think or having friends, and sara says she still wants friends though. i think sara’s biggest thing is she wants to belong, her and simon moved schools after she was bullied for being autistic so i think that definitely affected her even though she tries to act nonchalant about hillerska at first. we see sara’s longing to fit in in smaller ways at first, like her asking her mom for a better piece of her uniform because hers are “cheap” and already worn out. she gets annoyed at simon for chewing loudly, or her mother sitting casually at the table. as she gets closer to felice and madison and all the other students, the allure of the upper class and their lifestyle draws her in more. so much to the point where she gets very anxious and upset at the idea of her and simon leaving hillerska because he’s having his own crisis and doesn’t consider his pov. so much so that she effectively betrays simon and felice, the people she’s closest to, to make a deal (and make out lol) with august to room there and “be just like him”. personally i think sara’s attraction to august is mostly that allure of the elite and that he seemed to “desire” her when he kissed her because he was being a manipulative dickhead--again that want to fit in and be wanted. and i think there is a really interesting angle of jealousy and competition in female friendships, even if it is really subtle or not intentionally insidious or anything, sara does slowly start to trying to assume all the roles/fashions/mannerisms of felice to live that life she wants. i do think felice and sara’s care for each other is genuine and one of my fave parts of the show, but i think a lot of people who experienced being a teen girl know how we are always pitted against each other even in our subconscious because of how society treats and values women.

simon seems to be the character that is least interested in upholding legacy and tradition or giving a fuck what anyone thinks (as omar said here lmao) and that makes him a really interesting foil to wilhelm. there could be something said about micke fearing that simon is following in his footsteps, but to me that plot more so reveals how the upper class (august) continually exploit the working class for their benefit, and the trappings of generational oppression. the other thing that can be said is simon signing up for private tutoring and rowing, but again i think that serves to further show that he is forced to “play” by the game of the elites because the school/society is corrupt, and also, that simon has further ambitions outside of where he’s at. he wants to get good grades because he wants to explore new places and avenues. to me simon’s biggest motivations are his passions, the things and people he loves--music, his family, wilhelm. he isn’t loyal to others just because he’s expected to be, or uphold a certain image but because he really cares. he doesn’t watch out for sara because that’s his expected role as her brother to do so, but because he cares. he wasn’t interested in knowing wilhelm because he’s a prince like everyone else, he makes it clear he thinks the royal family are privileged and exploitative, but he is interested because he saw the real wilhelm. he’s out and proud even though his elite classmates are more conservative, he doesn’t care about voicing his unpopular opinions, he has no problem walking away from august’s dickhead behavior or calling him out on his shit. simon doesn’t care if people don’t think of him in the best light. (the only exceptions ig are the drugs conflict and the video, though literally anyone would have a problem with that because it’s much deeper that public opinion and has ramifications and is deeply traumatic--but just adding that before someone is like “well actually!”) i also think it’s interesting that most of the songs simon sings has themes of pushing back against the societal norms, and being remembered in history, plus of course the revolution song motif, and how much those songs affect wilhelm, he seems to connect deeply, like he wishes he could do those things but simon is the one who gets to sing them and actually live them.

#young royals #the way this is 2k words lmfao #i do not expect ppl read to this but when the analytical worm starts gnawing on my rottin brain i must oblige

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gedankenspaziergang · 3 years

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Diversmagazin Interview Translation

Diversmagazin released an interview with director Sarah Blaßkiewitz and Head-Writer Jasmina Wesolowski today. Read it here in German.

Jasmina (she/her), DRUCK writer since season four and head writer since season six together with Jonas Lindt. In a writers Room with Paulina Lorenz and Raquel Kishori Dukpa (Jünglinge)

Sarah (she/her) director of the last four episodes from season six

I’m leaving out the general introductory questions.

Alicia: Can you talk about the writing process? And what’s the most important thing for you while writing and telling stories?

Jasmina: We especially wanted the profound exchange with young adults who represent our protagonists. For season six we had the challenge that we wanted to tell the lovestory of a Gambian-German girl and a Vietnamese-German girl, perspectives that aren’t represented in the writer’s room. That’s why we talked a lot to research partners, to make up for our lack of knowledge/ experience, but we also talked to the actors and actresses.

Alicia: Why do different directors work on DRUCK?

Sarah: We try to produce as much in real-time as possible. And of course, we have to pre-produce but still have to work [overlappingly]. While one director is already in the editing phase, the next one already starts to shoot. Another reason is of course, that this way, also in the writer’s room, there’s more space for diversity.

Alicia: It’s similar to the writer’s room. You’re also dividing the writing of scenes between different people. … Are you working together with racism and LGBTQIA+ experts?

Jasmina: I think we all have blind spots and that it’s absolutely impossible to end up with a perfect result. It was an important first step, that the Jünglinge collective joined. They are big advocates for queer BIPoc representation in German media. They were always present for feedback loops and made all of us, crew, actors and actresses, participate in an anti-racism workshop. We were lucky to have the brilliant author and anti-racism trainer Arpana Berndt, who advised us on these topics. On top of that, we did a lot of research on different topics. I think now it should be the only way to produce movies and shows this way, with an intensive research phase. This way you don’t appropriate the stories of others and also don’t tell inauthentic stories or, in the worst case, use hurtful clichés/stereotypes. It was helpful and needed that Black perspectives were present also behind the camera – Sara as a director, but also in the social media team, make-up department or costume design. But we are also aware that more can be done.

Sarah: It’s important to me to highlight the make-up and costume design department. When I, an afro-German person, joined this project and met other afro-German women in those departments, who can relate to me, the character of Fatou and Ava, I was really glad. I can say from many years of experience that that’s not a given.

Alicia: How about experts on LGBTQIA+ issues?

Jasmina: To talk a bit about the process: We were set on Fatou being a lesbian pretty early on, and that was already discussed in the earlier writer’s room, where that perspective wasn’t present yet. In the beginning, those were loose ideas, and we had to implement them with the casting. The casting team Raquel Kishori Dupka, Melek Yaparak and Angelika Buschina worked closely with the directors and contacted different institutions and specifically asked for actors and actresses who could be queer. At this age this is of course a super sensitive topic. You don’t want to force young people to [define themselves/come out]. It’s a huge challenge to handle that with care and it was extremely important that the Jünglinge collective was part of the casting process.

But also, apart from the casting process, we profited a lot from the queer people in the writer’s room in the cast.

Sarah: For my part I asked the authors and queer people “What would you like? What is nice? What hurts? What’s important? Or what have I never seen before?” And then I put those different experiences into the different scenes. On top you of course need common sense (?) to portray something that you haven’t experienced yourself.

Jasmin: I just thought of a small really beautiful example: How Fatou was given these rainbow socks as a Christmas present. You immediately notice, that was the idea of a queer person who knows what non-queer parents give to their kids as gifts. The fans notice: Queer people were in the writer’s room. Or “Ah, these actresses know, what they’re doing.“ And those are the small things that make a difference.

Alicia: For sure! In DRUCK you notice that queer people were part of this in really subtle ways, and that [resulted] in really nice fan-moments. I can confirm that.

Right now, the community is discussing the conflict between Mailin and Ava a lot. What role does that conflict play for you and what does it teach us?

Sarah: I’m editing the last episodes right now, so I really feel it, also because you already see the reactions online.

For me, the conflict is important because it shows over a long period of time, that not everything is always only good or only bad. That it takes a lot of time, patience and confrontation to understand all nuances of that kind of conflict.

That Ava could be prevented to outright say what’s bothering her, because we’re talking about a really serious trauma of exclusion. How do you even tell people really personal stuff when you were bullied for years? And now we have that conflict, that seemingly takes forever, and you’re always asking yourself: “Why aren’t they talking to each other?” But it’s only in real time that you realize how hurtful this conflict is. How hurtful it is what they experience. What racism means, and also what it means to [deal] with that topic as a white German girl. And I think it’s really important that everyone is going through that with this season. That takes time and sometimes hurts. And you don’t always understand Ava and you don’t always understand Mailin. When we really [dedicate ourselves to understand this conflict] then I think, we can experience what for example a person like me experienced their whole adolescence. I’m not saying I was bullied my whole adolescence, and maybe it wasn’t because of the color of my skin, but because of something else. But that went on for half a year. After being bullied in school for half a year you’re not up for school and your classmates anymore. And you don’t talk to them anymore. And if people realize that because of this season then I’m glad. I think it’s really touching that this conflict takes up so much space.

Jasmina: I found it really interesting what you said about the nuances, because it was a real process for me to learn how many facets this conflict has. And especially that us white people, who grow up in a society with structural racism, have a particular idea about what racism means. And that’s not a detailed and uncritical perspective of that topic: As soon as you call me racist, I feel attacked and start defending myself.

The role that this conflict played for us was to show how incredibly exhausting it is as a Person of Color, to always have to deal with these problems and that there’s a kind of fatigue, that you don’t want to talk (or should want to talk) about certain topics anymore, especially if you have other things going on in your life on top of it.

On the other hand, we have Mailin, who has a strong desire to understand. She’s not aware of her privileges as a white girl. We want to take this journey together, when she starts to realize things and when she goes through different stages; until she understands, what it is really about. We also have an arc there that isn’t finished. Because in real life, you have to deal with some topics over and over again. We think it’s especially important to show that it’s not the job of Black people to explain racism to their white friends. By now, they have all the resources to educate themselves and to talk with other white people about this topic, to unburden Black people.

Alicia: That’s really interesting! The lovestory of Kieu My and Fatou is an important part of season six, which many queer young adults love. How is the relationship between Fatou and Kieu My representative for a generation?

Sarah: I can actually also see it in an older generation. When I send the cuddle clip of Kieu My and Fatou to my grandpa, he says “Wow, how amazing that a Viet-German and a Afro-German girl are lying in bed together, talk in German and are in a relationship.” This generation hopefully isn’t alone anymore, for example in the sense of: being the only Afro-German person in a small city. That changed and now we see it in that second and third generation. And that’s why it shows me something very real and beautiful.

Alicia: Which scene are you really proud of and why?

Sarah: My favorite scene, and one I’m really proud of and that was really important concerning the pressure of school, was with the main character Fatou. It’s about a path of finding yourself from Fatou and a [Reinigungsmoment] with her brother. Two people, who know each other from the moment of their birth, are sitting together. When I read that scene I thought yes, I can relate, I can feel that, and when we shot that, a world opened for me. And that was partly because of the music, which was decided before we shot this scene. Then we shot it and it was fucking cold, but we shot it again and again but every time we really felt it like the first time. And when I now watch that scene while editing, it really is the perfect moment. Every facial expression is perfect, every reaction. And that’s that kind of truthful (?) moment you’re looking for as an actor, actress, director or author. When everything fits.

(There’s a script for every social media part, What’s App Chats and ideas for social media stories. )

Alicia: When can we expect the next season and what will it be about?

Jasmina: For now, DRUCK is finished and we have to wait how it will continue. Fingers are crossed and of course we’re hoping for a new season.

[Note by me: We‘re not gonna spiral, Jünglinge looked for more writers, Black writers, on facebook a while ago. Nothing is safe but they probably don’t want to make any promises]

#druck #I hope it's understandabl vghghv #It was really cool to hear their thoughts on the mailin ava conflict and bullying storyline

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samdotdocx · 3 years

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A very long-winded essay about why I love Night in the Woods and The Ramayana makes me Big Mad ft. Lets Talk About Mental Illness™

So I was in this class called 'The Ecology of Language". Excellent class, 10/10 would recommend - and especially relevant in the Indian context in particular, but that's a topic for another day.

One of the things we talked about was the concept of 'relatibality' in media, which, I'm sure we can all agree is a large component of contemporary character or story-line development. Considering the context of modern readers, what that sometimes ends up looking like (in our society that is built on constantly being told we are lacking, and the subsequent need to satisfy manufactured desires), is some wonderfully nuanced characters in stories stories that are three-dimensional, well rounded, and well developed and written. It's pretty great. And sometimes, what that means is that we have excellent characters that don't conform to the standard 'protagonist' stereotype. They might not even be 'good' (this is NOT a villain-apologist post). In fact, they might be complete idiots. They might be the people in stories who make all the wrong choices.

One such relatable character is Mae, and it's because she's an unmitigated train-wreck.

Anyone who knows the game probably knows what I'm talking about when I say the illustration style and character designs are gorgeous. Anyone who's ever dissociated probably knows what I'm talking about when I say that illustration style and character design were excellently used to create the sort of subliminal, surreal state of Mae's mind. And as you play the game, you see how that state of mind plays with the other characters, and - spoiler - it isn't great.

This is the first of the relatable aspects of Mae’s character; there are people around her who love her and are worried about her, but at the same time, are angry and irritated about her behaviour. At what point does it become too much to ask of those around you to forgive all your continuous and repetitive mistakes? Even if you have a good reason for it, mental illness is not an excuse for being exploitative, even if it is unintentional. Mae is not trying to hurt the people around her, but she constantly needs emotional labour from them – it’s exhausting, and people’s patience is going to run out eventually, as is their right.

Another aspect of this behaviour is the lack of reciprocity, an example of this being when Bea’s mother died of cancer – and Mae didn’t even notice.

There are several instances of Mae’s thoughtless behaviour throughout the game; she gets completely wasted and makes a scene at the party, gets jealous of of Greg and Angus because they’re leaving the town without her, and ends up destroying the radiator Bea was supposed to fix, getting her in trouble.

The thing is though, that Mae is given the opportunity to fix her mistakes.

A large part of relatability is the want so see yourself in a character. Mae is relatable to me because there are several circumstances and events in our lives that match up, but more than that; the game is an interactive visualization of her healing process. Her nine steps, if you will. She is given a second chance – and that chance is hard won, particularly in the context of the game.

Mae talks about feeling like she’s falling behind, of knowing that she is, in a way, wasting an opportunity that was a privilege in the first place, especially considering her family’s financial situation – but at the same time, being literally unable to help herself. And the aspects of the gameplay that hint at the supernatural elements of the story possibly being a figment of Mae’s imagination – well. All us depressed losers know what it's like to not be able to trust your own judgement and point of view. She talks about why she dropped out of college, and her description of the dissociation, and the mental and emotional deadening that it causes is spot on and so well represented.

It underscores the point that the logical brain knows that mental illness is an illness like any other – but the emotional brain doesn’t care.

The game does a brilliant job of laying bare the realities of middle class life, and makes painfully clear the fact that, at that level, it doesn’t matter how difficult things are for you. The world isn’t going to wait for you to get back on your feet.

Mae’s mental state and the limitations it imposes on her cultivates a state of extreme frustration. Again, relatable. It’s an understated aspect of illness of any kind; the anger at yourself, and how that anger carries over into a lot of things in your day to day life. After a point, it becomes a habit. Mae does this too; she's belligerent, and instigative, and unrepentant of consequences, because anger blinds you.

It's not how things will always be. I have the privilege of hindsight, so I can say that with authority. But, this isn’t the kind of thing that ever fully leaves you, either. If you break a kneecap, it’s going to bother you for the rest of your life, and similarly, mental illness has a ‘no return, no refund’ policy. So you grow up, and you try to adapt those habits and impulses into a more positive context. Recycling, right? Maybe you set your sights on things that actually deserve your anger, and you go from there. You find people who, for their own reasons, perhaps or perhaps not related to your own, are angry.

And you don’t understand the people who are not.

A large part of the anger and frustration surrounding mental illness is due to the stigma surrounding it. It’s frustrating to be so powerless and dependent, but this is exacerbated by the attitude of ‘it can’t be that bad’, which makes it so difficult to reach out, to be able to say, ‘I need a break’ – and actually get one. This is an attitude that carries over to a lot of other issues as well, and the worst part is – we are surrounded by people who are okay with it, who believe in and support that mentality.

The myth of Sita, for example. She is a strong female figure in Indian mythology, who overcomes her circumstances to live a ‘good’ life, and for all intents and purposes, is a hell of a role model.

But that’s the thing; her life wasn’t good, was it? She was supposed be a goddess reincarnated, she should have been powerful, and respected, but instead she is reduced to ‘wife’ – and everyone today is fine with it.

I respect her immensely for the choices she made; marrying for love was her choice, going into exile with her husband was her choice. She was the paragon of virtue, of 'wifeliness', of kindness – she chose her husband over everyone and everything else, including herself, as was expected of her. But yet – she couldn't win his trust or respect. It should not even have needed to be won.

It’s commendable the way she takes it all in stride, but why did she? She was kidnapped and held captive for years, entirely against her will, and her husband's response to that is to force her to walk through fire to prove her ‘purity’ – and she does it. And she stays with him after, and I cannot understand the depths of her patience and forgiveness, because I would have been livid, and I want her to be so too. I’m furious for her, because Ram was not just her husband, he was also the king, and his later verdict to exile her, alone, while heavily pregnant, his readiness to condemn her based on speculation and public sentiment, was not just a verdict against her, it was against every woman in his kingdom who had ever been victimised.

Sita became a martyr to the modern feminist movement – if she could not be angry on her own behalf, we will do it for her. But at the same time, she is still relatable, because we are held to a slightly lesser degree of the same expectations. There are always going to be aspects of things that you relate to. ‘Big Mood’ culture is a strong indicator of the human ability to empathise, especially with characters that you like, or respect.

Sita’s world, I imagine, was run by the expectations her society and community had of her, and maybe she didn’t even have the liberty to be angry. Who is responsible for portraying her in passive acceptance of her fate? Is that representation reliable? Would the story have been different had it been written by a woman?

I can't remember a time when I was not angry, especially about things like this. I am always ready to fight, and I think the same goes for so many other people today, sometimes to our detriment. I cannot imagine a world where that was not at the very least an option. Not necessarily the best option, - but Sita’s world was very different to ours. Even with centuries between us, we’ve just gotten over angry and depressed women being labelled as ‘hysterical’ and subsequently being locked away. What is it like, to have to be calm and careful in response to being treated like this? This care in response may not be an overt requirement anymore – though the fact remains that society will not take you seriously if you become hysterical - but shouldn't you, at the very least, be able to rely on the support of other people in the same boat?

That is the main difference in these stories, and another main point of relatability to me; Mae, like myself, had a support system. Sita did not. Mae was selfish and demanding in so many ways, and required a lot of time and patience and healing before she was able to give back, but she got there eventually because she was able to put herself first. She fought for herself, and when she couldn’t, she had other people to fight for her. Night in the Woods represents the intersection of oppressed minorities and community with their portrayal of Mae, Greg, and Angus in particular, and the importance of community support – and, the difference between geographical community, and communities formed through camaraderie and actual unity. And so does the Ramayana - except, where was Sita’s community? Where were her sisters, or her parents, when she was abandoned in the woods, and later when she committed suicide? We are well aware, in the modern day, of the state of mind that causes people to kill themselves, and yet that is a part of the story that we never talk about. Where were her people then?

What would have happened if she had been more like Mae, and put herself first instead of bleeding herself dry for people who never respected her, and would never do the same for her?

People relate to personalities. They relate to choices, and circumstances, and habits, and it is neither a good nor a bad thing, to be relatable or not. Sita will be highly relatable to people who, like her, were governed by their circumstances, and were screwed over despite their best efforts. People who felt they couldn’t, or shouldn’t exercise their power and agency. Sita’s death was at odds with her strong personality, and so was her deference to her fate on many occasions, but there are a lot of people out there who will relate to the feeling of simply wanting things to be over. Mae on the other hand; she’s a steamroller, and she doesn’t stop. There’s a reason her character is a cat, and jokingly referred to as feral in the game. She is persistent, she is growing.

[1] In Defence of Kaikeyi and Draupadi: a Note – by Fritz Blackwellhttps://www.jstor.org/stable/23334398?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents [2] https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/emergency-room-wait-times-sexism/410515/

#ramayana discourse #night in the woods #sita #tw suicice #tw mental illness #mae borowski #spam-by-sam

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strawberry1212 · 3 years

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The healthy masculinity of Seongyeom in Run On

“Masculinity” itself is a difficult concept, but in this post I intend on using the word less in association to a person’s gender, and more as a characteristic that both women and men can embody. For example, I think Mijoo has masculine characteristics such as assertiveness, and Seongyeom has more feminine characteristics such as doing nurturing acts of service towards those he cares about. I believe a well rounded person has both masculine and feminine qualities, and one set of qualities should not be prized over the other (as masculine qualities are routinely over-valued in our society). (This is a complicated topic, so any discussion on gender/gender expression is appreciated and I am willing to learn!)

The typical toxic masculinity

Seongyeom’s healthy masculinity stands out starkly in a Kdrama sea of toxic masculinity. I have made a list breaking down toxic masculinity tropes in Kdramas, but essentially Kdrama Male Leads (ML) draw their masculinity from dominance over others. This is usually in the form of being in a dominating position over the female lead (FL), such as being her boss, being above her in a high school social hierarchy, or she is under some contract to serve him. He also usually dominates society at large, being the son of an heir, a CEO, etc., some position where he benefits from the capitalist exploitation of others. The scenes that showcase the ML’s masculinity are when he asserts dominance over the FL through wrist grabs, backing her into a corner, etc., or when he flaunts his wealth (the typical scene in an upscale store, “we’ll buy everything from here to there”), and provides these Grand Romantic Gestures via his wealth (helicopter rides, renting out a whole restaurant just to talk to her, etc.). He knows what he wants, he goes after it, and he gets it, the “it” often being the objectified FL. As viewers we are supposed to swoon over the fantasy of being dominated by this rich, hot man.

Seongyeom’s healthy masculinity

Now enter Seongyeom. Seongyeom does not really seek to dominate anyone--instead his masculinity stems from his defense of those weaker, and his commitment to his values. He is strong because of his goodness, rather than the typical male lead being soft/good in spite of his masculinity.

The core plot point is his relationship to Woosik: although him beating up Woosik’s bullies is a display of more typical masculinity, his overall protection of Woosik was not in that act of violence, but in his persistence to be held accountable for that act of violence. In the toxic sports world where violence was not held accountable, Seongyeom’s protest was not to commit the act of violence, but to openly admit it and force others to hold the act of violence accountable. He repeatedly states that non-defensive violence is not ok no matter what, breaking with the traditional toxic masculinity that a guy fighting for the girl or some other “valiant” reason is therefore okay.

Seongyeom has a rare integrity, and his unshakeable commitment to this integrity is what impresses his masculinity upon the viewer. The hallmark moment of his protection of Woosik is again, not in beating up his bullies, but in boycotting the race, and coming forward about the violence and demanding to be held accountable. This action was peaceful, but incredibly courageous. He is protective (a typically masculine trait) of Woosik, but not through violence or abuse of power, but by having the courage and integrity to do the right thing.

When he protects/supports Mijoo, it is also not in a possessive way. I think a prime example is when Mijoo gets sick: it’s a classic Kdrama trope, girl gets sick from overworking, guy arrives to save her. Any other Kdrama would have him arrive just as she’s fainting and catch her. Using his wealth, he would get the VIP room of a hospital for her. But Run On is different. Mijoo is able to get to the hospital herself--she doesn’t need saving. However, he arrives to stay by her side supportively, and when the old ladies are annoying her, instead of using a combative method, he is his normal, gentle self, and charms them into being more quiet.

The drama’s handling of Seongyeom’s privilege

A cornerstone of toxic ML masculinity is his position of immense wealth and power. Interestingly, Seongyeom also comes from a background of wealth and power. However, rather than fetishizing it, as kdramas tend to do, Seongyeom is clearly separate from his family’s background. This is established from the fact that rather than simply being a CEO inheriting his family’s company, he has made a name for himself as a runner, having his own profession, with his own unique skills. The drama generally refrains from ostentatious displays of his wealth, and his actions for Mijoo are acts of service and time (bring her a glass to drink her soju out of, taking the driver job for her, moving close to her so she has to walk less, and overall being a kind, supportive little bean to her), rather than servicing his immense wealth to her .

More importantly, it is how the drama handles the emotional impacts of Seongyeom’s privilege. Usually wealthy, but lonely backgrounds are used as an opportunity to excuse the male lead’s disrespectful behavior, to explain away his shitty personality, and also as an opportunity for the cheerful and kind female lead to “heal” the male lead. I cannot stress how much this trope disgusts me, as this “broken man just needs the right, patient woman to fix him” narrative is the kind of mentality that keeps women in domestic violence relationships. It is so harmful, and also serves to put down other women (I need to prove I’m different from other women, I understand him, I can change him, I will succeed where other women who were too shallow to understand his scars have failed, etc.). Seongyeom is far from a jerk male lead, but he still has emotional difficulties from his upbringing, primarily that he is inexpressive. Jerk male leads are also inexpressive about their emotions, and usually heap verbal abuse upon the female lead, but it is just brushed off as a “quirk” that the girl must put up with because she knows, ultimately, through his Grand Romantic Gestures, that he loves her. In Run On, his inexpressiveness is instead treated as a real problem that he must work through. He journals his feelings to work through them, and undergoes difficult discussions with Mijoo about his tendency to put up walls. It is shown as part of his growth, rather than something Mijoo must just accept.

Mijoo is key to Seongyeom’s healthy masculinity, because so much of toxic masculinity is based off of the female lead’s passive, objectified state. The toxic trope of Power Imbalance cannot work because Mijoo is a financially independent, career-driven adult. The One-sided Pursuit trope also cannot work because Mijoo is always willing to put in her share of the effort in the formation of their relationship. She meets him halfway, and maintains open communication of their problems so that there is no space for weird toxic male jealousy/noble idiocy tropes, etc.

As I’m writing this I realize maybe why I like Seongyeom so much is not just because of his healthy masculinity, i.e. healthy ways of being protective, strong, etc., but also because of how in touch he is with femininity, and vice versa with Mijoo both being a blend of masculine and feminine qualities. I really love this drama so much, and I can’t wait for the episodes to come <3

#kdrama #kdramas #run on kdrama #jtbc run on #ki seon gyeom #oh mi joo #im siwan #shin saekyeong #feminism

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