#he's gonna be screaming crying throwing up and i literally can't share any of it with anyone yet lmao

[leonicscorpio]

Batboy Headcanons because I made this for me but you all can enjoy this too if want. (May contain mild NSFW)

Dick:

Has a weird relationship with unwanted gaze and the attention he receives because of his physique. He genuinely likes the attention but he draws the line when people start getting touchy. Just because he's shirtless working out doesn't mean he gave you consent to touch him.

Has good dieting skills but he's in his mid-late 20's and his metabolism has 0 signs of slowing down. He once ate a whole xl bag of M&M's in front of Steph and Babs and both said they wanted to murder him because he won't gain a pound.

Dick has ADHD and I'm sorry if you don't think otherwise. He has hyperactive type ADHD and while he's gotten better at controlling his symptoms he still stims stretching and flexing his arms and shaking his arms.

While not so much in Gotham, Dick is very politically active and volunteers at voter registration and working with organizations with the mission of police demilitarization in Blüdhaven.

Dick is a very sexually driven individual. However, I don't think it's entirely healthy. His ADHD also comes into play with this but Dick just needs to have a release at least twice a day or he'll feel physically sick.

I don't know if you all have seen male gymnasts. But Dick, like the rest of them, has FREAKSISHLY large biceps. Everyone talks about Dick has the best ass in the bat family and while Jason may be larger and stronger, Dick has the best physique.

Dick's apartment is littered with sticky notes in places such as the fridge/in front of his computer. If it's not written down and in a place where he can't ignore it, it's not going to get done.

I'm sorry I know everyone says his birthday is in March but I have to go to the older Nightwing comics and say his Birthday is December 1st. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me this man doesn't give off Sagittarius energy. You can't. I respect you but you can't look at that and tell me that man isn't a Sagittarius or has super heavy Sag in his birth chart.

Dick's at home doing nothing but chilling? You best believe he's gonna be shirts off, tits out, and rocking some blue flannel PJ's.

Dick is currently the only member of the family asides from Barbara who is regularly attending therapy. And he actively encourages each of his brothers and sisters to go every time.

After his Agent 37 days. He sits down with Jason and talks about having to use a gun and how hard it was. And how having to kill people has affected him. When he had to kill the KGBeast (Agent 37 days he snapped his neck) I headcanon Dick just trauma v*mit*d. Jason hugged him and just consoled him.

It's canon that Dick has anger issues but to me, it's not explored or talked about enough and not a lot of people like to talk about it. Dick is very much the 'if I ignore it it'll go away' type when it comes to his anger and he can brush most insults or harassment off fine enough. But when he breaks, he makes Jason look like a saint. I'm talking slamming you into a wall and screaming in your face angry. He'll be profusely apologetic afterward but still.

Despite popular belief, I don't think he's that bad of a cook. He's just not very experimentative. He can follow a recipe and does look at some guides. But to me, Dick Grayson just is that guy who is like Chicken veggies and rice are a meal that I can cook 4-6 times a week.

Dick has a slight fear of dentists. He doesn't have bad teeth and has good dental health. He just doesn't like the idea of a drill going in his mouth and the few times Bruce has to take him to a dentist he had a panic attack every time.

Everyone lives for the fics where Jason beats the shit out of Tim and everyone is just like lol well Bruce and Dick just forgives him. No. When Dick found out it was Jason who beat Tim to the ground, Dick was literally seething and told Jason "Pick on someone your own size or else I'll make you wish you back in that f'ing coffin."

Dick's favorite foods (some based in Canon*): Milk Chocolate*, Cereal*, Asparagus, Bananas, Banana flavored candy, Hawaiian Pizza* (suffer its canon) Rum, thanksgiving Turkey.

Jason:

He may be the self-diagnosed black sheep (rightfully so) of the family, but Jason does genuinely love spending time with his siblings. Whether it be sharing memes with them on social media or just randomly showing up where they are and abducting them to go get ice cream/coffee/snacks.

He'd probably attempt to harm you if you told him this to his face. But he is the closest acting to Bruce out of all of the family. In terms of mannerisms and inherent warmth and kindness behind a dark façade.

Has two moods: either exceptionally, almost neat-freak levels of clean, or his life is completely falling apart and Jason can't tell you for sure what color his floors are because there's so much stuff scattered about.

Despite their initial hatred of each other, Jason truly feels closest to Tim and Tim is the only person asides from maybe Barbra who he can just talk to without feeling any judgment.

Jason only smokes when he's extremely nervous about an operation or a hit. For those who don't know criminal justice cigarettes are the fastest way to get genetic material on someone. That being said he does still like to smoke occasionally.

Me, plus a lot of people give him this sort of 'Lazarus Rage' as I like to call it. When he's in the heat of a mission or if he's getting upset/angry his vision will get blurred with green, and it feeds on his anger and just gets perpetually harder to contain until he releases it. Jason has gotten much better at controlling it. But as he will tell Tim or Babs, he's "seeing green" which means they need to be careful because Jason could kill.

Everyone says Dick is the mother hen. I see you, I accept you, but let me raise you. Jason came to realize that he died because of his rash decision to go after The Joker alone. If Jason finds any of his siblings out acting alone, or even at the very least without Oracle. Jason WILL forcefully interject himself and ask them what the fuck they think their doing.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Trying to get close to Jason is hard. He will degrade you can attempt to try to get you to hate him before he lets you in (that cheeky Tsun of him)

He genuinely cares for and supports all of his siblings but has been rough on them needlessly. But if Bruce is being the distant or absent parent he is, you better believe if any of the siblings drops him a text or a call, Jason will be there in a heartbeat.

He's the most physically powerful of the whole Bat Family. You don't understand because of his time in the League, his time with the All-Caste, and having abused Venom for a time, he can snap an arm bone like it's a carrot with little effort.

Everyone in the family likes dogs and goes out of their way to gush over a dog, but Jason takes it to a whole new level. And even when he's masked up dogs just gravitate to Jason.

Can and has grown a beard in a matter of a few days. He usually likes to be clean shaven but some days he likes to wear a beard just to throw everyone off.

One time him, Steph, Tim, and Duke all went to a restaurant (Red Robin lol) and the waitress got his order wrong and his burger had raw tomatoes on it, Jason took the tomatoes off and ate it while looking absolutely miserable. Tim: Jay why did you eat that you didn't have to you know you could have asked the server to fix your burger. Jason, almost in tears: "She works really hard and she tried and I'm a scary dude I don't want to make her upset.." Duke: "... Jason you literally shot at a cop for looking at you funny the other day. But you're afraid of upsetting a waitress?!? I mean ACAB but dude.. "

Jason's happiest big brother moment™ was taking Tim and Damian to the shooting range and watching them both get their first bullseye.

You can't tell me Jason Todd was into the Emo/Screamo/Warped-Tour Scene. His favorite bands/Albums in no particular order, That's the Spirit (Literally the whole album is Jason Themed and I'm gonna die on this hill) & Sempiternal by Bring me the Horizon, Digital Renegade & Everyone's Safe in the Treehouse by I See Stars, The Resistance: Rise of the Runaways by Crown the Empire,

Jason Todd's favorite foods: (Also some based in Canon*) Burgers, Chili Dogs*, Lager-style beers, Freshly baked bread*, Neopolitan ice cream, grilled corn, and Chinese Chicken noodle soup with Duck.

Tim:

This boy *slaps car roof* gives off so much asexual energy. I know New 52 exists but I just feel like Tim is the person who really, REALLY has to trust you and like you before he's sexually active with you.

HYPERFIXATES. You also can't tell me Tim isn't on the spectrum/or has ADHD.

Is the only member of the family who regularly checks up on Jason and talks to him every day via text message. The two are memelords together and love to play pranks on the other members.

While Dick may give the most frequent hugs and Jason gives the tightest, most secure hugs, Tim's hugs are always the warmest and make you just feel good.

Tim's birthday is July 19th. Meaning he's a Cancer. Let that sink in.. no, really let that information just soak. (Note I have nothing against Cancer women, cancer men however....)

All of the bat boys really struggle with talking about their feelings. Dick will manipulate you into changing the subject via twisting it to be about you, Jason will just cut you off or will ignore you, Damian will deflect everything and harass you until you stop, Tim however, Tim is very emotional and while he's very calculated about who he's emotional with, he's not afraid to break down and cry if he trusts you.

Everyone who says he's the level headed Robin haha how's it feel to be WRONG. Tim is at best the least functional college student and at worst a lemming. 'No Tim, coffee isn't a meal I'm going to make you some food or I'm going to stick you in a room with Damian for an hour.' Richard (Dick) John Grayson.

People overblow how addicted to caffeine Tim is. But it's true. Just overblown. You can talk to him before he's had his caffeine just don't expect him to be anything but curt and blunt.

Everyone says Jason would be the worst at texting but it's Tim. He's the master of leaving you on read. While Jason may do it on purpose, Tim is just really bad at texting people and while he always will read your messages he forgets to respond unless it's really funny or really pressing.

Everyone sees Tim as this bean pole super skinny boy Robin. Tim may not be stacked like Dick or a freaking tank like Jason, but Tim is NOT super skinny. He's just as muscular and likes to work out as anyone, but he just is super lean, so he looks a lot bigger and his muscles are more defined because of how thin his skin is. He has those almost disgusting spider veins on his arm. Kind of gross to look at, but he's the dream of any nurse. This means Tim is also the king of accidentally sending/posting thirst traps.

He really is the glue of the Bat Family. Everyone kidnaps Tim for 'Tim Time'.

Dick likes to spar with and in general just hang out with Tim. Tim tried to teach Dick how to skateboard and you'd think the boy who mastered the trapeze would know how to skateboard but you'd be wrong.

Babs and Tim always hang out and talk about computer stuff and Babs knows she can vent to Tim about anything and he won't say a word.

Tim and Steph were a thing for a while and even though they're just friends now, they still are very close and the two have a very deep bond, liking to shop with each other and watch movies,

Cass just loves to be around Tim because of how calming he is but also she knows she can spar with him AND Cass can also skateboard with Tim too.

Even though him and Damian are always fighting, the two still end up being together and have this unspoken bond. They work great together on a team but other than that they still hate each other.

And while everyone still is hesitant around Jason, and despite the fact that Jason literally beat Tim to within an inch of his life, AND would still trigger Tim and taunt him about it. The two have this odd closeness that rivals even him and Steph. Tim will always be the first to bat for Jason. Jason was Tim's Robin. And despite the fact Jason literally beat it into Tim's head to "never meet your heroes." Tim will always be there for Jason should he ask. The two are just close. And it's hard to describe. Bruce has caught Tim and Jason just platonically sleeping next to each other or just doing their own things shoulder to shoulder silently, just enjoying each other's company.

Tim and Duke also have a really positive relationship with one another and the two can stay up all night just talking about anything. Their minds just mesh well together. The two also love to team up and prank the other members of the Batman Family.

Tim's favorite ASMR/Stim? Watching those Tik Toks of people cleaning computers or cleaning phones. The sound of an air duster is like music to his ears and if any of the Bats need their technology cleaned it secretly makes Tim so happy to help them.

Wear his hair up or wear his hair down? It depends! While Tim likes his long hair he also has gotten plenty of compliments for his short hair and likes to style it to suit any occasion.

My one pet-peeve with Tim is that he probably is that person who lets his privilege show from time to time. While he was essentially raised to just sit down, shut up, and be a perfect trophy son to the Drake's. The Drake's were in the same tax bracket as Bruce and Tim definitely was a rich kid. He never means to come across as spoiled, but sometimes Jason will give him harsh looks if Tim just throws away food he doesn't like or says things like Chipotle is 'poor people food'

Tim Drake's favorite foods (you know by now*) Donuts*, Shallot and Artichoke Pizza with Canadian Bacon* (odd choice but it could work) Artichokes in general are his favorite vegetable, Strawberries, and Beef Pho.

Damian:

I headcanon that he has the worst teeth of all of the Bat Boys and he actually has to use lingual braces. (Hence why you can't see his braces)

Canonically is a very good artist and while him and Tim don't get along, Tim introduced Damian to digital art and gave him a photoshop pack and a nice tablet for his birthday one year and Damian loved it so much.

Damian is a capricorn and I will die on this hill. A January capricorn too.

Now you want a good chef? You've got Damian. Having converted to veganism Damian has had to get creative whenever he goes out to eat so he tends to like to eat more home cooked foods. Damian loves all matters of mushrooms, eggplant, and bell peppers.

Damian really struggles the most with his wanting to just be a normal kid. Despite the fact he will dismiss you for it, anytime he gets to spend at Gotham Academy with Jon and the rest of the kids he's naturally the happiest.

Damian LOVES to give gifts. He loves the look on people's faces when they are shocked when they actually get something from Damian.

Despite the fact that he's been traumatized from both his times with Ra's and Talia as well as with Bruce. He just wants Bruce and Talia to be together because he loves them both equally.

While he's the least flexible and least gymnastic of the Robins do let your guard down around him. He is the fastest runner and the guy is rivaled only by Jason in terms of lethality.

So someone (Jason Todd & Duke Thomas) introduced Damian to trap music and ever since anytime his phone gets stolen people will be shocked to find he's listening to some combination of Lil' Yachty, X, Kendrick Lamar, Wiz, and Kodak.

If any random person tries to hug Damian he'll immediately push them away, he'll bitch and moan about just about anyone hugging him other than Bruce & Dick.

Damian loves to go to the beach/the ocean. He just thinks it's so vast and he loves the brineness of the air. Also being half white, quarter middle-eastern and quarter Chinese (Yes everyone forgets Talia is half Chinese) Damian gets DARK. And although he's just okay as a swimmer he still likes bogeyboarding and eventually wants to learn how to surf.

I'm genuinely afraid once Puberty is done with this kid and everyone in the family is. He has Bruce Wayne AND Talia Al-Ghouls genes and those are two SEXY human beings. Damian's gonna grow a beard one day and people aren't going to know how to act.

Damian secretly plays Fortnight and not even Jon knows. He doesn't want to get shamed. He'd rather lose a match and ruin his streaks than deal with the shame of anyone in that family finding out he plays Fortnight.

Damian Wayne's favorite foods (canon*) Cereal*, Avocados, Grilled Tempeh, his mom's Tabbouleh, Mushroom Tacos, and Vegan Sushi rolls, and grape juice.

Duke Thomas

Duke is like, freakishly good with a piano, and he picked it up naturally!

Also everyone says Tim brews the best pot of coffee in the Bat Family, cue to everyone's surprise when Tim was sick one day and couldn't make a pot. Only to find the coffee was freaking amazing. Duke didn't take any credit at first until Alfred let it slip that Duke was the one who brewed the pot.

Duke being the only Meta of the family originally thought he was the double-token because he was a Meta and a black boy. Needless to say his fears were seriously unfounded the moment he got to know everyone.

Although he somewhat fears Jason and his temper initially, he and Jason have one of the closest relationships in the family. If Tim isn't around to bat for Jason, Duke will happily take his spot. The two work on each other's bikes and grew to share the same taste in music.

Duke uses his Photokenetic powers as a force for good and for shenanigans. Jason wants to play a prank on Dick and Damian while Dick is reading Damian a story? Duke will hide Jason in the shadows and will cover up his shadow. Alfred dropped something in the dark? You better believe Duke will find it in 3 seconds or less.

Duke makes it a point to visit his parents every weekend to talk to them. Although they are making some progress in their recoveries, it's still slow going. Eventually, he starts bringing members of the family to see his parents. It started with Cass, then Jason, and the rest followed suit.

Duke loves playing video games with Damian and even helps Damian beat some tougher levels when Damian is about to rage and destroy the console.

Duke is into Magic the Gathering and you cannot tell me otherwise. Duke also is the DM for the Bat Kids annual D&D games. I can and will make a D&D Batfam Headcanons if asked.

Loves Pho just as much as Cass and Tim and they all call it a date night every now and then where they can go to a hole in the wall pho place. It's really a secret between the three of them.

DUKE THOMAS IS THE BEST SWIMMER OF THE BAT BOYS AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL. HE JUST THRIVES IN THE WATER.

Finding out his birth father is a supervillain was really tough for him. He went into a shell for a little bit afterwards. Cass and Steph were there to help talk him out of his funk.

Duke Thomas's favorite foods (lol what canon DC hasn't acknowleged our boy in a while..) Chicken Pho, Thai Iced Tea, Papaya, Crab Cakes, Italian Hoagies, his mom's Lemon Poundcake, mint chocolate chip ice cream.

I hope y'all enjoyed! Up next (eventually) will be the Bat Girls!

#Dick Grayson #Batfam #Batboys #Jason Todd #Tim Drake #Damian Wayne #Duke Thomas #Bruce Wayne #Barbara Gordon #Cassandra Cain #Stephanie Brown #Headcanons #Slight OOC but hey If DC can't stay in character neither should I

[sleepysloth99]

A/N: Heyo everyone uhh basically my mental state got me fucked up so why don't we make headcanons for numerous Sweet Home characters. 2 parts. Part 1 is a simple them comforting you during an anxiety attack and part 2 is them reacting to you telling them that you're a burnout gifted kid (yes OP needs some fucking help😂).

Characters: Hyuk, Netflix Wook, Hyun, Jisu, Yuri

I suppose content warning? Anxiety is mentioned after all.

Part 1: Them comforting you during an anxiety attack.

Hyuk:

•Guy is clueless as fuck lol.

•He'd try to make things better but he actually kinda made it worse.

•He feels terrible since he feels so useless in this situation. He's not exactly great with people.

•Eventually he gathers himself and gives you a blanket and makes tea.

•Puts on your favorite anime or show in general.

•He apologizes for being so crappy with all this.

•You have a favorite stuffed toy? He'll get it for you.

•Lots of cuddles. If you want he can play a video game and you can watch him.

•He's trying his best :)

•This is only the first time though.

•Around the third to fourth time this happens he'll actually know what he's doing.

•Ask what's wrong and won't panic. He'd be a lot more calm and would definitely be less hesitant to hold you.

•Again just bear with him.

Netflix Wook

•Thought Hyuk was bad? Wook's even worse.

•He doesn't know what to say so he just pats your shoulder.

•Lots of headpats.

•Right after you calm down he searches up about anxiety attacks and what to do if someone is having one.

•He'll also search up what to say to a partner during an anxiety attack.

•The only reason he kept his mouth shut the first time was because he was scared he'd upset you more.

•Want him to cuddle you and hush you? He'll do just that.

•Want him to hold him because you find holding things more comforting then being held? He's already laying down.

•Whatever makes you calm down he will do just that.

•He also buys snacks for you.

•Overall one of those "Quiet Supporter" types. He doesn't really say anything because mind you he isn't exactly great with his words so using gifts and physical affection he will try to calm you down.

•One muscular teddy bear lmao.

Jisu

•Unlike Hyuk and Wook, Jisu is a lot better at handling emotions for the most part.

•She'll immediately ask what's wrong and hold you.

•She'll just listen, and give her input when she feels the time is appropriate.

•She'll order out food and watch a show with you.

•Hell for you? She'd illegally stream a movie lmao.

•Lots of soft blankets.

•If you want, she can sing for you or play the guitar.

•She keeps her composure despite secretly being freaked out since she's never dealt with someone having an anxiety attack.

•She has a bat so if you wanna go out and smash shit up she'll come with you.

•Wanna scream all your worries? She already has her bass set up.

•She'd paint your nails if you want.

•She'll let you lay in her lap (Imagine laying in Jisu's lap☺️)

•Gives headpats.

•Gives scalp massages.

•Just like Wook, provides snacks.

•Would go all the way and buy a fucking pet for you.

Yuri

•See what's so special about Yuri is that she's worked as a caregiver for years, albeit with elders.

•So believe me she's seen a LOT.

•What I'm trying to say is out of everyone here, she's the best when treating you during an anxiety attack.

•She asks what's wrong.

•She never yells by any means.

•She kinda whispers but not really.

•Very calming, uses lots of lavender and chamomile based products.

•Already making some tea (or some drink you like).

•She'll run a shower for you.

•She uses aromatherapy based products in said shower.

•She would run a bath for you but that wastes water and she doesn't want you to sit in your own filth.

•Uses aromatherapy lotion on you.

•She will do some skincare for you.

•Spoils you with cuddles and snacks.

•Tries to ask further questions like "How long have you felt like this? Is there any other problems?"

•She won't push you though.

•Sleeping on her lap with fluffy blankets and forehead kisses. (Bro imagine sleeping on the goddess's lap???😳😳😳)

•Surprisingly very sweet.

Hyun

•Bro not gonna lie he really wouldn't know what to do.

•He's broken as is so if he says anything that comes off as insensitive he doesn't mean it, he's trying his best.

•Another Quiet Supporter.

•Will give you a hug.

•Will let you sleep on him.

•He might start crying too. He feels so powerless in such a situation. Seeing his significant other panicking and not knowing what to do or say.

•He'll try and ask what's wrong but being in a similar position, he knows how annoying it can be when someone asks what's wrong.

•He's distant but close at the same time if that makes any sense.

•He'll read a book to you if you want.

•He'll try and whisper sweet nothings but again this is pretty foreign for him

•He'll get take-out for you and put on some anime.

•He'll even watch an anime he really hates as long as it makes you feel better.

•By the next day he'll pretend nothing happened but just expect a stuffed animal packaged up at your door. Who sent it? I dunno. (Not him that's for sure nope nope totally not him.)

Them reacting to you saying you're a burnout gifted kid.

Hyuk

•He kinda relates.

•He will always be there to let you know you're doing great.

•He will always be there to support.

•When he sees your homework scores lowering and grades crashing he'll be there to help you somehow.

•He actually does your homework while you sleep. By the time you wake up you have no clue because he made copies of it but he actually used your account to submit the work. Man the shit he does for you.

•One of the school staff actually almost caught him saying "You're not acting like your usual self. You never get such good score in math."

•Thankfully he looked at how you talk online especially to teachers and managed to kinda copy how you talk online.

•He still thinks you should talk to someone about this. You know someone professional.

•Again though he'll always be there for you.

Wook

•He wouldn't know what to tell you.

•"Yeah... that does suck."

•He'll support you and try to get you mental help for it but... yeah.

•He can't really relate to the whole burnout thing so he's very distant here.

•Course that doesn't mean he won't try and help you.

•Again he wants you to get mental help especially since he isn't the best with words.

•Really he's clueless. He'll try his best but honestly even Wook thinks he's the worst person for this.

Jisu

•She also can't really relate since she was always just the band kid scraping by back in school.

•She's still very empathetic.

•She'll try her absolute best to help you with the long term damage that is gifted child burnout.

•She will make sure you don't go abusing substances. So no you cannot have any of her cigarettes. She will literally throw them all away.

•She'll write songs to motivate you.

•She'll make sure you never give up on something just because you didn't get it right the first time.

•Seriously this woman loves you, she'll do anything to motivate you and make you happy.

Yuri

•Now Yuri can semi-relate. Being trained to take care of the elderly did do a number on her so she knows burnout when she sees it.

•She will literally smack your hand if you try and overwork yourself.

•"Don't. I'll do it."

•She really wants to do everything for you because she hates seeing you all burnt out.

•She's stubborn as hell so it's gonna take a lot to convince her to let you actually do your work.

•Seriously somebody come get her she's starting to burnout herself.

Hyun

•Lmao Hyun can relate 100%

•He IS a burnout gifted kid.

•So yeah he is actually the worst person to go to for this issue since he's having the same problem.

•However! That doesn't make him all bad.

•You can be burnout gifted kids together!

•Whether it's cuddling while comparing your current selves to your past selves or playing video games together to feel a false sense of achievement, you guys are doing this together.

•Is it the best and most healthy way to deal with this problem? No!

•Is it still a pretty great thing to have your boyfriend by your side and sharing all of your pain every step of the way? Hell yeah!

•In all seriousness, you two try to support each other.

•Lean on each other when the burnout gets unbearable. He'll offer a shoulder to cry on and you'll reciprocate (at least I hope you do.)

•You both try to get mental help or at the very least join one of those support servers on Discord.

•You guys often lie in bed late at night talking about how you both feel like failures. To which Hyun says "We can be failures together." In an attempt to make you feel better.

•It actually... kinda helped.

°

°

°

And with that being said, today's headcanons are done! If you want you can drop some requests, although I don't do any NSFW requests. But yeah that's it. I'm pooped, bye!💝

#manhwa #webtoon #sweet+home #sweet+home+manhwa #sweet+home+webtoon #sorry if this sucks #headcanon #hyuk+lee+headcanons #i tried #hyun cha #wook pyeon #yuri park #carnby+kim

[khaleesiofalicante]

HI, IT'S ME! YOUR LOCAL CHAOTIC WEIRDO!!!!! I'M BACK AGAIN LIKE I AM TWICE EVERY WEEK

IT'S MY BOY DAVID THIS TIME! WHY AM I SO HYPER! MAYBE BECAUSE THEY KISSED! AND I HAD TO SUPPRESS MY SCREAMS BCAUSE IM IN CLASS AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY IS OUTSIDE MY DOOR (NOT LITERALLY OFC)

OK OK OK OK OK OK

MAX AND DAVID ARE AT THE LONDON INSTITUTE YESYESYESYES

He rather liked that part in a story – when the hero fell, and everything seemed bleak. It always meant that hope was just around the corner. Because darkness never lasted. It was always followed by light. There was nothing more beautiful than that kind of sunrise.

THIS

I literally live my life by this analogy

AHHH DAVID IS ON HIS TRAVEL YEAR AND MAX IS WITH HIM

SCREAM

well i can't scream because my mom is sitting right there and I have class in 4 minutes so imma smile really wide

“Are you planning to read the entire library during your travel year?” Max chuckled.

“Of course not,” David replied. “I will need longer than a year to accomplish that goal.”

Me.

Wait

does max not being able to make portals have something to do with his lineage?

like

demon parent

ok so my programming class started 2 minutes early but screw programming I'm gonna be studying minds not this shit

ok that's a very bad attitude for someone who needs good grades in this year

Max was always hungry.

this is so me

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

KIT

TY

THEY MENTIONED TY

also if David doesn't become an institute head in the future THEN WHAT'S THE POINT

“Where is the kitchen?” Max interrupted.

max is such a mood

He had told Max that he had centuries to perfect his magic, that there was no need to rush it. Max had given him a noncommittal nod and nothing more.

HE'S GONNA MAKE THE BEST PORTALS YOU'LL SEE

“I won’t tell the Consul,” Kit winked.

At the mention of the Consul, David straightened up. He had been trying to get into Alec Lightwood’s good graces for years now. He didn’t think sharing a room with his son would do him any favors.

DAVID UDUCDFUHKDUHVUHSDH

PLEASE IF WE DON'T GET A CUTE ALEC AND DAVID SCENE SOON

KIT CALLED TESSA MOM

oh my god

Word was that Mr. Herondale had gone back to his obsession with brewing tea.

JACE

I have so many emotions right now but all I'm gonna say is that I'm so so proud of Rafael

“Do you not want to sleep with me?” Max asked.

UH-

WELL-

DAVID STOP THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE AND ALL THE SHIT

STOP IT

OH MY GOD THE ONE BED TROPE

MAX IS IN HIS ARMS I'M ABOUT TO-

takes a deep breath don't scream. everyone outside this door thinks you're taking programming class

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY

AWW JULIAN PAINTED PORTRAITS FOR THE INSTITUTE

The one of Will Herondale and Tessa Gray – A love that had transcended reality and lasted a lifetime.

The one of James Herondale and Cordelia Carstairs – A love that had started with a lie and then blossomed into nothing but happiness and devotion.

The one of Lucie Herondale and Jesse Blackthorn – A love that had been so powerful that it rewrote the past.

The one of Jace Herondale and Clary Fairchild – A love that had walked through hell and shaken up the heavens.

And then there the final one. The one of Kit Herondale and Tiberius Blackthorn – A love that had survived distance and darkness and doom.

This omg...

He wanted a love story. The kind he read in the books. The kind he saw in these portraits.

But he wasn’t a Herondale. He wasn’t sure if he was destined for that kind of love.

HEY

DON'T THINK LIKE THAT

The first part though

same

He might have been a little too excited. It was biologically impossible to control yourself when you find a stranger reading your favorite book in the whole world.

SO TRUE

“I see you already made a new friend,” Max said.

He sounded a little…odd. As if he was not pleased that David had made a new friend.

honey...

take a guess

can I jump in and bash their heads together?

“You are thinking of conjuring chocolate syrup, aren’t you?” David chuckled.

“How do you always know what’s on my mind?” Max chuckled back.

Because I know you, David wanted to say. I just wish I knew what’s in your heart too.

OH MY GOD I CANT WITH THIS

“You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup!” Max was yelling, standing on the chair.

They residents laughed harder, and David shook his head fondly. He hoped one day Max would pursue a career in theatre. He was a born showman.

can I have chocolate syrup?

also, the way David is just so fond of him like DYUSDGYJCDYUJM

“By the angel, do you have to be a drama queen about everything?” the boy next to them muttered – not so quietly.

David blinked. That was uncalled for.

But Max being Max was completely unfazed. “Of course I do. My Bapa would be personally offended otherwise.”

exactly you rude little shit

Max often pretended like people’s words didn’t hurt him - just as he pretend that fire doesn’t burn or wounds don’t bleed.

wow ok stop calling me out

Is max jealous??????

is he??????

how are people so good at languages like damn

TY

TY

TY

TY

“Oh my god,” Max groaned. “Is he already telling people to check on me?”

LMAO

using mundane medicine...

that's risky

but it's also something that WILL help

can't warlocks tamper with the blood samples?

A part of him wondered if that’s why he had agreed to send Max away to London – at least for a week. Because sometimes you didn’t want other people to see you were hurting.

alec I really goddamn hope you're dealing with this well

some of whom had even decided to die than get help from a warlock.

alright then gets my knives but you chose this :D

Nobody brought a book down for breakfast if they didn't like to read.

yes but sometimes also to seem busy so people won't bother you or you won't look alone.

“I know,” the boy said as he walked past them to the gate. “I sat on the stairs and thought about life for a few good minutes.”

his family is the one who took over David's previous institute (i can't spell that. marse- marselli- wat??) methinks.

The gang always visited whenever all of them were in the city together. They would have so much fun! Of course, the 'fun' mostly entailed Rafael stopping Georgia from drinking random potions she found in the stalls, Selena stopping Lexi from opening a psychic booth to help people talk to Raziel and of course David stopping Max from running to the gambling booths.

LMAO, I CANT WITH THIS-

Rafe: I am anxiety.

me at any given moment

EW TESTICLES HE'S EATING THOSE-

ok maybe I'm the only person who's really picky when it comes to food and doesn't eat the majority of things

“Anything on Magnus Bane?” Max asked.

“No,” the woman snapped and shoved some of the letters into a bag and hide it under the table. “Leave Magnus Bane alone!”

“Appreciate your loyalty,” Max winked at her and started examining a diary.

I like her.

"Everyone should be participating in this" -my programming teacher

me, an intellectual: participating in what?? goes to the class web THE FUCK IS THAT

“Something for the shadowhunter?” the woman smiled. “Perhaps an unpublished snippet from the Beautiful Cordelia?”

“Do you have any love letters?” David asked.

“Hmmm,” the woman went through the pages. “I do have a correspondence between an Iblis demon and Christopher Lightwood? Would you be interested in that?”

if u don't mind I would love to see both of those-

you know I just remembered I have a computer assignment I need to submit by the end of this week fml

“Never fall in love with an immortal,” she giggled again. “We don’t like staying in one place.”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

MAX WHERE ARE YOU

why are we using x and 3 in programming class what the heck is going on

“I’m not just some warlock,” Max said, his voice low. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

GIVE HIM THAT NECKLACE BACK

we usually have programming once a week on our physical school days and those are fun because my and my friend are continuously passing notes and talking to each other through writing

The scene where Max fought off all the evil people who tried to steal his valuable belonging. He would fight without breaking a sweat and throw magic fireballs at everyone and then get his necklace back. And then he would kiss David in front of everyone and it would somehow rain all of a sudden.

But life wasn’t a movie or a book. Life was just life.

life's boring

fuck life

I just heard a student ask "why are we not taking out the values of b and c" BESTIE I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING PROGRAMMING AND NOT ALGEBRA?????

“I know there wasn’t anyone to protect you before,” Magnus Bane had said. “But we are here now. We will protect you. This will protect you.”

He hadn’t wanted it back then. He didn't even want it even now.

He didn’t want something to protect him. Most importantly, he didn’t want to cover his scar. He didn’t want to hide it. He wasn’t ashamed of it. It wasn’t a mark of a victim. It was the mark of a survivor.

So, David had smiled and given the bracelet back.

“I never wanted to be protected,” David had replied. “I only ever wanted to be loved.”

The warlock had smiled at that and given David a hug. It had felt different than other hugs he had experienced since he had come to New York.

It wasn’t just the magic. Magnus Bane carried so much love inside himself you could literally feel it through him.

I'm gonna cry during my programming class (where we're doing variables apparently all of a sudden??)

this is so beautiful

“I wasn’t talking about Bapa,” Max said now. “I was talking about the other one.”

David chuckled at that. “Oh, yeah. He is definitely going to kill you.”

what flowers would you like at your funeral?

so Jackson has family troubles

I've definitely got that

yeah I know what it's like to be jealous of someone else's perfect family

JACKSON WTF

Is he trying to ruin max's relationship with his family???

oh hell no

JACKSON THE AUDACITY

“One stolen necklace, One broken nose and One bruised cheek,” he said. “And you’ve been in London for less than a day.”

kit seriously? but is he wrong though?

“This is what I get for falling for a Lightwood-Bane,” David sighed and walked through the portal.

WELL AT LEAST HE'S SELF AWARE

Jackson...

in some ways, I can empathize with him. my younger self anyway. but Jackson this is not how you do things

There was a moment of silence and then Magnus Bane giggled.

“I do love it when the quiet ones go feral,” the warlock grinned.

MAGNUS

NOT.THE.TIME

(me too)

“David!” Mr Herondale gasped. “Is your hand okay?”

yup that's Jace y'all

David hated violence. He hated fighting – which he was often not allowed to say out loud considering he was a shadowhunter.

But it was the truth. He hated hurting people – or even things. It made him feel sick.

“It’s alright, Chouchou,” Mr Herondale ran a hand through David’s hair. “Next time, just-”

“Use my words?” David asked.

“Just don’t get caught,” the man winked.

and that is why I would never want to be a shadowhunter.

I know saying that doesn't do anything but when I first read tsc I wanted to be a shadowhunter really badly and damn that was some time ago but now...violence of any kind is my biggest trigger idek why. and I hate that so much because what kind of a person gets triggered by loud voices and fighting EVEN ON SCREEN??? I usually just push myself to watch stuff because it's dumb. I refuse to see trigger warnings before reading a book or watching a show because damn it, I should be able to stand those things I'm, not a child. and it may be doing me more harm than good but I shouldn't feel like this in the first place

okay...that was long

ANYWAY

“David, I appreciate you standing up for Max,” the Consul said. “But next time, please try not to punch anyone in the face.”

“Yes, sir,” David nodded. “Because it’s wrong.”

“Because it means more paperwork for me,” the Consul groaned and then straightened up. “But yes. Absolutely. Very wrong. No punching people!”

LMAO ALEC

Jackson...

oh

oh

oh

I was wrong then

He was grinning. Magnus Bane must have raised hell in the shadow market.

that must have been fun

Max was doing that thing where he was not trying to pout but he was mostly definitely pouting. It made David want to kiss him. But then the Consul spoke, and David reminded himself he didn’t want to be the third person to get punched in the face this evening.

well-

“I understand that Jackson has been through a lot. But that’s not an excuse for him to hurt those around him. I learned that lesson the hard way. So, you shouldn’t excuse his behaviour.”

someone's trauma and pain is never an excuse to hurt others

but that doesn't mean we should invalidate their trauma either

“You can stay back and try to help him. I won’t stop you,” the man got up now. “But if he tries to hurt you-”

“You will unleash hell?” David chuckled.

“Worse,” the other man grinned. “I will unleash Lexi.”

that is much much worse

Books brought him comfort in so many ways. Just holding one in his hands automatically made him feel better.

oh my god

he gets it

I always have a book with me when I'm out even if I'm not gonna get the time to read it because just the weight and comfort of it in my hands or in my backpack brings me so much comfort and helps with my social anxiety so much

no one understands when I try to tell them that

you get it...

someone gets it finally

AYYY IRENE

“David, it’s very sweet that you want to protect Jackson,” Kit pointed out. “But literally no one is buying that. Not even Irene.”

The lynx purred on his lap as if she agreed with Kit.

“I could break into a liquor cabinet,” David said a little indignantly.

David is the nicest you can get

David wouldn’t. Apparently, everyone already seemed to know that - even the lynx he had met five minutes ago.

we are solving something in class and it's really quiet because we're all doing our work (I'm reading the fic so-) and this one person had their mic open and they kept on whispering their steps and it was so weird I cant-

BUT YES DAVID IS A CINNAMON ROLL. EVEN THE LYNX KNOWS

“We were talking about shitty fathers,” Jackson pointed out. “You’re welcome to stay.”

“I’m gonna need something stronger than red wine for this conversation,” Kit chuckled.

I remember that bitch

David used to do it when he was a child. He used to pretend his life was a story. He used to pretend everything that happened to him was happening to some other boy – a boy who wasn’t real. A boy who lived inside a book. Because it hurt a little less when you pretend like it wasn’t happening to you.

But the pain was still very real.

OK YOU CAN STOP CALLING ME OUT NOW

“I fucking hate ogres,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Was your father an ogre too?” Jackson asked.

“He was more like a harpy,” Kit snorted. “He was always flying and fleeing. I didn’t know how deep his talons were in my head until it was too late.”

you really like traumatizing all your characters, don't you?

I really fucking hope the ogre got what he deserved

and if the angel is dead then fuck everyone

“I mean, there was that time when Sebastian Morgenstern turned my father into the endarkened, and then he went around killing people. So, I would say he was more like a zombie,” the man was explaining now. “The zombie father tried to kill me but my brother killed him first.”

“Good lord!” Jackson said in shock.

Kit chuckled softly. “Boy do shadowhunters need therapy.”

they really do

He knew about those from New York. He knew Mr Herondale and Miss Fairchild went for one together.

YES GET THEM THERAPY

“Yikes,” Kit chuckled. “I’d prefer something classier. How about London Boys?”

“None of us are from London though,” Tiberius pointed out.

“The Beatles are not actually beetles, Ty,” Kit chuckled. “It’s just for pizazz.”

damn guys

Then the idea of a band turned into a possible YouTube channel where they would react to cute animal videos.

YS DO IT

“When people do awful things, really awful things, at one point we stop being surprised. Like what Valentine did to his children or what our fathers did to us or what those women did to Rafael. We might have been shocked or disgusted. But it wasn’t unrealistic, was it?”

“I guess not,” the boy said.

“Even when they did the most unimaginable acts of cruelty, it somehow managed to fit into our imagination. We accepted that the world can be unrealistically cruel. The kind of cruelty we will never understand. But why isn’t it the same for kindness? Why is that when someone is too kind, we automatically feel uncomfortable? We judge their intensions or think they are just pretending to be nice. We think they are being unrealistic. Why is that?”

we get so used to cruelty that kindness feels weird

“But that’s how our life works, doesn’t it? It’s a giant ball of what ifs and could have beens and if nots. What if my father had loved me instead of hurt me? Could I have been kinder if I was hugged instead of being abused? Would have I been a different person if not for my trauma? Our lives are an endless collection of theories about our real selves. The one didn’t we never had the chance to become.”

THIS

I used to spend a bunch of time on the what-ifs but those are useless. so screw the what-ifs and live in the present

“I guess we’ll never know, Jackson. None of us will never know how we would have turned out if things had been different for us. We never got the chance to be who were meant to be. Instead, we became who we had to become to survive what we went through. We will never know our true selves. We only know the version of us that made it through all the trauma.”

“Christ, that’s depressing,” Jackson said.

“It is,” David nodded. “But we made it through. We survived. I think we should focus on that.”

you survived. that's what matters

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be rescued,” David smiled.

I wish I had heard this before...

maybe I don't always have to be strong. maybe it's ok sometimes just want to be saved.

I'm so happy that both Jackson and David found each other

David had learned Gaelic. Jackson had learned how to play the piano.

They had laughed and lived and loved and learned.

And they had survived – one day at a time. The London Boys.

they survived.

I know I'm always key smashing and screaming but these words, these lines, all these chapters mean so so much to me.

“You’ll write to me, won’t you?” David asked, hugging Jackson closely.

“No,” Jackson replied. “I will FaceTime you like a normal person, you weirdo!”

David laughed at that. “I prefer letters. They are more emotional.”

“I’ll text you,” Jackson countered. “With emojis.”

oh to have someone write me letters.

I love writing letters

once at the end of a school year, I wrote little letters to everyone in my class anonymously. even the people who had been mean to me. that was like 1-2 years after my transfer to that school and everyone practically hated me but I wanted to do something nice because who knows what someone is going through. I ended up not putting them in people's desks...

I threw them all away :)

but writing letters is superior

I often write my feelings down and give the letter to someone rather than talk to someone

if you receive a letter from me or a custom-made gift...you have reached my ultimate friendship

oh my god. THIS IS HOW I SHOULD TALK TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY FEELINGS

It's kind of been a mess between us and I want to talk to her but I didn't know how to.

this is why i shouldn't send asks-

JACKSON CATCHING UP ON MAX AND DAVID

“You know what it means,” Jackson grinned harder. “Also, if that wanker tries to break your heart, I will break his face.”

“You know he is the Consul’s son?” David giggled.

“I’ve done it once and I will do it again,” Jackson shrugged. “He better treat you right.”

"wanker"

I HAVE A BRITISH ONLINE FRIEND AND THEY CALLED OUR AMERICAN ONLINE FRIEND A WANKER

AND OUR OTHER BRITISH FRIEND JOINED IN

WHILE ALL THE NON-BRITISH PEOPLE WERE LIKE "huh"

Lexi had cut her hair even shorter. Her girlfriend apparently got something called an undercut.

“Just in case someone dared to assume we were straight,” she had winked at him.

how many years has this fake dating been going on...

CENTURION SELENA

fterA the twins went to bed, David stepped out of the institute and went looking for his heart.

"went looking for his heart"

OH FUCK I FORGOT TO JOIN MY CLASS

MAX STOP DEPLETING YOUR SELF GODDAMN

And then somewhere along the way, Max’s heartbeat had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

Max, with all his chaos and drama and danger, had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.

oh my god that's a parallel from canon

“Tell me why.”

“Ain't nothing but a heart break!!"

Max-

Max could make fireballs that killed demons on the spot. He could summon things from anywhere. He could heal people with his eyes closed. He was one of the youngest warlocks allowed to visit the spiral labyrinth.

Max was a warlock in every sense. A good one. A great one even.

he is so talented...

Only idiots would underestimate Magnus Bane’s power.

EXACTLY

He is probably going to be Consul like next week.”

David chuckled. “Next week?”

next week????

“Yeah, his smoking habits,” Max rolled his eyes.

Rafael wasn’t the smoker in the family. He knew who it was, but David would never open his mouth. It wasn’t his secret to tell.

this keeps on getting better

“It’s my hair!” David laughed.

“And you’re my David!” Max argued. “I say you are not allowed to grow your hair.”

MY DAVID

MY DAVID

MY DAVID

“I don’t want to downworld-splain it to you.”

Max blinked and then laughed. “You don’t want to what?”

“Downworld-splain,” David mumbled. “It’s when shadowhunters explain downworlders how to be downworlders.”

they were SO close to kissing

I'm gonna get in there and lock them in a closet together and tell them to FUCKING GET WITH IT

Remember who you are. Remember where you stand.

remember who you are. remember where you stand...

I know this is supposed to be about portals.

OH MY GOD THEY KISSED

THEY KISSED

IM SO CLOSE TO SCREAMING CLASS AND EVERYONE OUTSIDE THIS ROOM BE DAMNED

OH MY GOD DAVID FELL

reminds me of when alec fell down the stairs-

OH MY GOD I'M GONNA SCREAM

WE'RE GONNA GET MORE MAVID CONTENT SOON I'M SCREAMING INTERNALLY UYDRVFY7VSDU7UYVFSDUYGCADUYIGJCDSHJKGDVCSUGISDVHVF

ok, I have a computer assignment to get to and tests to study for. BUT I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO MUCH!! THEY FINALLY KISSED I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!

Also I know I tend to go off track and you can totally ignore that. i just go crazy. BYEE

This live blog gives me so much life you don't even know. I am go glad you enjoyed the chapter. I love hearing you rant about it. It's refreshing lol.

And I looooooove the lil anecdotes you share in between. Also wtf is a programming class like nobody wants to learn programme what kind of hetero nonsense I-

FINISH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS AND STUDY FOR YOUR TESTS I'LL SEE YOU SOON :)

#lbaf

[ezpezlemonsquez]

Okay, so I've heard about that theory in which princess Yue was to be the Avatar but since Aang hadn't died but just had frozen himself, the cycle was somehow broken and that's why Yue was born so weak and had to be saved by the Moon Spirit. This actually gave me a fanfiction idea, so

in this concept Yue is Sokka and Suki's child, as Lu Ten is Mai and Zuko's. They spend a bit of their vacation at their houses in the Upper Ring of Ba Sing Se. Everything is peaceful. Everything is fine.

***

Lu Ten was screaming. He didn't have any control over his body, needless to say, his mind. He just wanted it to be over. Suddenly, he felt a gentle tug on his shoulder and he shuddered. Then he felt the second tug, a little bit more intense than the previous one.

"Lu" said someone with a really soft voice. "Lu, wake up."

So Lu Ten screamed for the last time and this time he immediately woke up and sat up on his bed. He was panting heavily, the sweat dripping off his body. At first he couldn't see anything. Only after a few breaths was his vision slowly getting better.

"Everything's alright, Lu." The same voice rang out again, finally letting Lu Ten fully get back to reality. It was kind of like his anchor and though he had sometimes heard it in his dreams, it had never been so clear before. Lu Ten blinked and he realised why this time it was different.

"Yue" he whispered and lied down again, utterly exhausted, as he saw his beautiful friend right in front of him. Her dark brown hair tickled his face when she leaned towards him to make sure he's awake. For real now. Lu Ten took one last deep breath and got up from the bed. He walked to the table and drank some water he'd prepared himself in a cup. The rest of it he spilled on his head. Yue came up to him and gently touched his shoulder.

"Everything alright?" she asked caringly. He nodded.

"Yeah" he answered, not being completely sure if he reassured her, or himself. "Yeah, everything's fine, it was just, uhm..."

Yue raised her eyebrow.

"A nightmare?"

"No, no, I don't have nightmares, no." He forced a laugh.

"Right" snorted Yue. "You know, you may be one really powerful firebender but that doesn't make you any truthbender."

"You say so?"

"I literally heard you screaming, Lu Ten. I woke you up."

The boy shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe you needed something?" he suggested and he suddenly realised something. "Wait a second, why were you even here?"

Yue seemed a bit confused for a moment.

"Uhm, I heard your scream" she answered finally, trying to be convincing. "I walked in to make sure you're not in any trouble. As always."

"Very funny, Yu. You were saying something about being a truthbender...?" he said, as if he was wondering.

"Excuse me, I'm the daughter of Sokka and Suki, I was basically born with the power of truthbending. Gotta have a talent, you know?" she said jokingly, throwing her hair behind her back.

"Yeah, of course. Come on, Yue, what were you doing outside this late?" He nudged her teasingly. "Perhaps a date or something? You know, holiday fling?" He insinuated, while feeling a bit of jealousy that she actually might have confirmed.

"I wish." She winced. "I... I was, uhm, kind of having nightmares myself" she admitted finally. "I woke up and I decided to take a walk. Moon soothes me."

Lu Ten's face changed immediately.

"Yue, I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine, really. Now come, you want to take a walk with me?" She held out the hand to him. He smiled.

"Sure. Let me just put on some shirt."

She nodded. After a while, they were walking by calm, peaceful streets of the Upper Ring of Ba Sing Se. Neither of them was saying anything, they just walked silently, hand in hand, being happy of each other's presence. They stopped at the fountain. It was a clear, warm night, so they took off their shoes and sat down, letting their feet dip into water. They were sitting silently until Lu Ten spoke up.

"It's a beautiful moon."

Yue smiled.

"Yeah, it really is. You know, my dad used to tell me the history of a girl from the Northern Water Tribe. She was a princess, actually. She was beautiful, and kind, and very brave, because when the time came, she was ready to sacrifice her life to become the Moon Spirit. I was named Yue after her."

"Did your parents know her?"

"My dad, yeah. They seemed to have been pretty close, you should've heard how he talked about her."

"Yeah, listen, from what I've been told, you should've seen my granduncle's face when my parents told him I was gonna be named after his son. Apparently, he cried so much. My father told not once that it was the least he could do for him for... well, everything."

"General Iroh was more like a father to your dad than Ozai, wasn't he?"

"He was." Lu Ten nodded. "He still is."

Yue looked up at the moon, thinking.

"You want to tell me about this nightmare that's bothering you?" asked Lu Ten softly. Yue sighed.

"This dream it... It comes back to me every full moon. But please, don't laugh, okay?" She looked at him pleadingly, with a weak smile.

"I won't, I promise."

"Okay, so, in this dream... I am about to become the Avatar. I can feel it's a great power, so I'm preparing myself to take it in. I'm waiting and waiting and it exhausts me but I reassure myself that once I take in the Avatar's powers, all my strengths will come back to me three times as great. And suddenly, something happens. Light blinds me, but no new strengths came. Instead, I'm just getting weaker and weaker. I don't know what's happening, but I can barely breathe. It's like, the circle has been broken and I don't know what to do. I try to scream but I can't even open my mouth. It's... it's horrifying." Tears appeared in Yue's eyes. She lowered her voice to whisper and she just looked at her hands. "I'm dying" she said barely audibly. Lu Ten didn't say anything. He took her hand and gently stroked it. He wanted to remind her she didn't have to be scared, because he was there. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to her.

"Anyway" she said after a while, when she managed to collect herself. "That's when I wake up." She looked at him with a sour smile. "Every time. No sooner, no later. I don't know what it means, so."

"Have you told about it anyone?" he asked, moving closer to her. She laughed quietly.

"No, absolutely not. And I forbid you to."

"Okay, no worries, just... I want to help you."

"I know, but please, don't tell anyone. I'll manage. So, you wanna share your dream now?" she asked immediately, trying to escape from the uncomfortable subject. Lu Ten let go of Yue's hand and smiled sourly.

"My dream is strictly connected with this city" he started. "I'm in Ba Sing Se but this isn't, you know, our Ba Sing Se. I'm in the Fire Nation's Army uniform. I have my own unit under command. It isn't big but I feel like it's great anyway. I know I trust these people. And suddenly, we begin to fight. At first, we win. We're going further and further into the town and I feel I'm on a tear, so I don't stop. Somebody's shouting my name but I ignore it. I run and I fight. I shout I don't need any more people, I'm calling off the reinforcements. Everything's great. But then I'm trapped. Earthbenders, more than I can possibly take, surround me. It's just me, my whole unit has suddenly disappeared. I try to fight them but I can't hold off them all. Nevertheless, I don't call for help. I just... try to take down these people. They're an obstacle. Someone shoots me, so I scream. I feel warmth of my blood. My vision blurs. I give more shots, and I get the same amount at me. Finally, I collapse. In my head there's just granduncle's song. It bores into my mind, I can't think of anything else, I can't hear anything but this song. It's more powerful than any thought, any sound I try to focus on. It hurts more than my wounds. So I scream. And I scream again and again, until I can't scream anymore." He looked at Yue seriously. "I'm dying, too" he whispered. Yue didn't say anything. She just moved closer and hugged him. He hugged her even tighter. The tears started to fall down their cheeks. They were both crying, because that felt like the only right thing to do.

"Don't tell anyone" whispered Lu Ten after a while.

"I won't" promised Yue.

They sat there, hugging each other, for a long time. They barely moved. Then Lu Ten cleared his throat and slightly moved away.

"We should go back home."

Yue nodded, sniffling.

"Yeah. Yeah, we should."

"I bet granduncle Iroh could make us some soothing tea, if you'd like."

"I would love to, but tomorrow, okay? We'll go to The Jasmine Dragon."

"Okay. Come on, I'll walk you." He held out his hand. Yue took it without hesitation.

"Thanks" she said quietly, smiling weakly. They didn't talk on their way back home. They really didn't feel like it. When they arrived at Yue's home, she hesitated.

"What is it?" asked Lu Ten.

"Actually... uhm..." She looked at him awkwardly, then she shook her head. "You know what, never mind."

"No, tell me, what's wrong?"

"I was gonna ask you, since I won't be getting much sleep tonight, if you wanted to keep me company" she admitted, smiling. "But then I figured you'd probably want to catch even a few hours of sleep."

"Actually, no, not at all. And I'd rather sit silently with you than alone, so." He smiled. "I would love to keep you company."

She looked at him gratefully and open the door. They sat on the carpet, near each other, trying not to fall asleep. But after a while they didn't even realise they did. They were sitting, leaning back against the wall, Yue's head resting on Lu Ten's shoulder and his head resting on hers. And when they were together, no more nightmares bothered either of them that night.

#fanfic #ff #fanfiction #oneshot #atla #avatar : the last airbender #yue #sokka #suki #sukka #zuko #mai #maiko #luten #the jasmine dragon #iroh #ba sing se #prompt #avatar #avatar : tla #theory #atla theory

[lefaystrent]

Chaotic!Remus somehow switched Patton and Logan's aspects. Something happened and now logan as morality is breaking down sobbing and can't figure out why. Patton hasn't noticed anything other than super genius (he thinks he's a super hero now)

Logan felt a whoosh gothrough him.

It almost felt like wind, but therewas no breeze to be accounted for. Breezes didn’t exist in the mindscape. But somethinghad passed through Logan.

Logan paused to contemplate.

Nothing else happened so he resumedmaking his sandwich.

He was alone in the kitchen, preparinghis brain food. Just a sandwich and chips, nothing extravagant. It was only lunchtime after all. So he poured some chips from the bag onto the plate and—

One of the chips.

They fell to the floor.

Logan watched horror-struck as thepotato chip bounced off the edge of the plate, slid off the counter, andclattered to the floor.

It was like watching glass shatter.

Or seeing a dog wander into theroad and a car was going too fast and—

The bag of chips rumpled softly asLogan dropped it onto the counter.

He kneeled on the ground, but itwas already too late. The chip was dirty, and there were so many germs on the floor.This chip was inedible.

Logan could feel the loss of whatcould have been swell up in his chest and burst forth from his eyes. Overwhelmed,he dissolved into sobs.

“Logan! You’ll never guess whathappened! I’m a superhero now—wait, what’s going on?”

Patton had slid into view in hiscat onesie. He’d been excited before, but now his head cocked to the side as hewatched Logan bawl on the floor.

Logan pointed to the fallen chip.

“My chip!” Logan sniffled. “Itfell!”

“Oh, that’s sad,” Patton said, butit lacked his usual extra empathetic behavior. He shrugged. “It’s not the endof the world though, kiddo. It’s just a chip. It doesn’t really make sense tocry about it.”

“But I was going to eat it!” Logantearfully explained. In the back of his head, he noticed that his response wasincredibly out of line for his typical stoic behavior; Patton was right, itdidn’t make sense to cry about one chip. But he just couldn’t help it. “Now Ican’t eat it. Do you know how many germs collect on a kitchen floor? Too manyto risk!”

Patton put a hand to his chin inthe classic ‘thinker’ pose. “There are more chips though. There’s a whole bagon the counter. You could eat those.”

“I DON’T WANT THOSE! I WANTED THISONE!”

“Yikes.”

Virgil appeared suddenly as heoften did. He stood between them in the kitchen, headphones on his head. Hepushed them down around his neck.

“I could feel the angst-fest allthe way from my room. What’s up?”

“Logan’s throwing a childishtantrum because he formed an emotional attachment to a single chip.”

“I LOVED THAT CHIP!”

Virgil’s eyes bulged in that waythat said, “This is not the kind of mind-fuckery I signed up for.”

“I—….what?” Virgil asked, trying toprocess just what was happening. Patton was calling people childish? Logan wasprofessing his love for potato chips and crying? Wait, since when did Logan cry?

Patton sighed and shook his head. “Honestly,there’s no need to cause this much of a fuss. If you can’t bring yourself toeat any of the chips in this bag, I’m sure our budget will allow for us topurchase more from the store.”

“I’LL NEVER LOVE ANOTHER CHIP LIKETHIS ONE!” Logan whimpered. Like literally whimpered. Virgil’s jaw dropped.

Patton raised an eyebrow and shareda look with Virgil. “See what I’ve been putting up with?”

Okay, never mind the absolutelybaffling notion of Logan crying over anything. Since when did Pattonjust brush off people crying? Or look down on people like they were silly or stupid?He was acting more like Logan than even Logan was.

Wait…

Virgil looked at Logan. Logan whowas crying over dropping a chip.

Virgil pointed at Logan and Pattonand kept crossing his arms, trying to illustrate the connection his brain hadcaught on to.

“You…you guys, why are you guysacting like each other? Is this a prank? I don’t like pranks.”

“On the contrary, you enjoyperforming mischievous tricks every Halloween,” Patton corrected.

“That’s different. Also, since whendo you ever say ‘on the contrary’? You’ve literally never said that before inyour life.”

“I seem to have acquired the use ofan expanded vocabulary. Don’t I sound more efficient? At first I thought Imight have discovered a superpower, but now I am considering something morerational.”

“Uh, like how you and Loganobviously swapped places or something?”

“Indeed. We do seem to be actinglike each other. My apologies for the confusion, kiddo. Hm, ‘kiddo’ is an oddway to reference you, now that I think about it. You are clearly a man and nota child. I’ll need to rephrase the way I speak to you.”

Logan grabbed the chip bag from offthe counter and tossed it at Patton. “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!”

Patton brushed the crumbs off ofhimself. “Rude. Also, true. I am not your dad. I am a side of Thomas.”

Logan pouted, no longer crying butvery much teary-eyed. “I want my real dad back. I don’t like this. Everything’sso much all the time and I hate it. Just make us go back.”

“I wouldn’t be able to do that,” Pattonsaid. He glanced up towards the ceiling in thought. “Perhaps Roman would beable to help?”

Virgil frowned. “I bet he hadsomething to do with this.”

“He is the creative side; although,I do think that is an unfair assessment. Roman is, as they say, a ‘good boy’.”

Virgil wanted to snort. Or maybejust bang his head against the wall from the sheer weirdness of the situation.But the way Patton referred to Roman as being the creative side, it made Virgilremember that Roman was not completely the creative side.

Virgil scowled. “Remus!”

“You rang?” Remus said from rightbehind him.

Virgil jerked away and scuttled to theother side of the kitchen. Remus sat on the kitchen counter, legs crossed and asmile curling his lips.

“No time for chatting. Just changethem back,” Virgil ordered.

“Who said it was me?” Remus gaspedin offense. But the fact that he didn’t even ask about what Virgil meant wascondemning enough.

Virgil crossed his arms and stampedhis foot.

Remus threw up his hands. “Ugh,okay fine! It was me! You’re welcome.”

“I didn’t say thank you.”

“Well you should. I fixed them. SirStick-Up-His-Ass can finally feel~. And Prudey Pants over there won’t beso scandalized every time I open my mouth.”

“Oh no, I am still scandalized,”Patton said, but it sounded off due to the lack of emotion in his tone. “My reactionsare merely reserved.”

Remus blinked at him.

Then he looked to Virgil. “You know,now that he’s a robot, he’s way less fun. I kinda liked it when I made himscream.”

“Dude,” Virgil made a face at Remus’swording. “Just change them back already. They can barely function like this andit’ll only hurt Thomas in the end.”

“Okay, I’ll turn them back.” Remusgrinned like a shark. “But only if you come back to the dark sides.”

“What?! No!”

“Alrighty then. Have fun with Tweedle-Deeand Tweedle-Dumb then! Byeeee!” Remus waved his fingers at him before disappearing.

Logan let out a pained wail. “I’MGONNA BE STUCK LIKE THIS FOREVER!!!”

“Actually, you’ll only be stucklike this for the remainder of Thomas’s life,” Patton corrected.

Logan just cried harder.

“Hmm, it seems I’ve upset him.”

Virgil rubbed tiredly at his face.He blew out a breath. “No need to freak out. We can handle this. Crazy stuffhappens all the time. Just gotta—figure it out.”

“Maybe we should enlist Roman’sassistance like I initially suggested?” Patton said. “Him and his brother haverelatively the same abilities. Just different usage.”

“I’ll try anything at this point,”Virgil grumbled. “Princey! Get your butt in here.”

“Uh, excuse me! I could have beenin an important meeting,” Roman said, rising up into the kitchen.

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “You’re wearinga fuzzy robe and your nails are half done.”

“And who’s fault is it that they’reonly half done?” Roman sassed. “You could have asked nicely for me to… Why isLogan crying on the floor in the fetal position?”

“Early onset midlife crisis.”Patton nodded seriously.

Roman gave him a narrowed-eyed lookand shook his head. “Okay, what did I miss?”

Virgil let it out all in onebreath. “Remus switched Patton and Logan’s personalities or something and nowthey’ve been acting like each other and it’s super creepy and Remus won’tchange them back so can you just change them back already?”

Roman’s eyes went wide in a dawningrealization. “Why didn’t I ever think of that? Switching spots! Oh my gosh,wouldn’t that be such a cool video idea? Think about it—”

“No! No thinking!” Virgil cut himoff, waving his arms in an X motion. “Just change them back!”

Roman glowered at him. “Well youdon’t have to be so pushy about it.” He snapped his fingers

Instantly Logan stopped crying. Hesat up on the floor and wiped at his face. He stared down at his tear stainedhands in awe.

Patton meanwhile hugged himself. “Ithink I just had an out-of-body experience!”

“How cathartic,” Logan mumbled tohimself, still wiping away the tears.

“You’re welcome, now back to my meeting.Byeeee!” Roman sang and sank out.

Virgil leaned against the fridge. “Idon’t get paid enough for this.”

“You don’t get paid at all,” Loganresponded absently.

“Well I should.”

#sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #Anonymous

[clareisa]

Smut Prompt Requests

⚠️NOT MINE⚠️ - original post ⬇️

- open for any idol of your choice

- 1 or 2 or (max) 3 idols

- 1 or (max) 2 prompts

-------------------------------------------

CEO!AU:

1.“Come on, admit it, you sit at your little desk all day and she walks in and out and all you want to do is fuck that tight little ass of hers, don’t you?”

2.“Can you please fuck me, sir?”

3.“I wore my naughty little skirt just for you Mr.(idol of choice) and I think you’d like to know…I’m not wearing any panties.”

4."Mr.(Idol of choice), I see how you look at me, I know you want to fuck me...but, how would your wife respond?"

5."Seriously? You spilled coffee on my slacks? Clean it up."

6."Some would call it exploiting my powers but I need to see which one of you is really ready to do anything for the company."

7."You're sleeping with the CEO of the company? No wonder you got that promotion your second month here!"

8."Are you sure you want to do this here? I mean you have no curtains and the whole office would be able to see us..."

9."You've been such a naughty secretary, trying to seduce your boss...well, it's working,"

10."You've been hired to help the boss relieve some stress...he'll see you in his office now."

Male!Dom:

11."Swallow daddy's dick, make him cum and maybe, maybe he'll reward you."

12.“One cock is never enough for this slut, even with your cock in her pussy…she’s begging for one in her ass.”

13.“Move your hand! I’m not stopping-this is what you asked for, now be a good little slut and take it.”

14.“Keep testing my patience and you won’t be able to sit for the next month and every time you go to slide on some shorts or jeans you’ll grimace remembering how hard I had to spank your ass, all because you couldn’t listen.”

15.“Imagine being fucked so good, your eyes roll to the back of your head and you drool a little.”

16.“If you’re not screaming my name at the top of your lungs then I’m doing something wrong.”

17.“Some good dick can turn any good girl into a naughty girl.”

18.“Daddy needs you, princess. Daddy needs your mouth so bad.”

19.“You’re so relentless. All I asked was for you to wait until we got home and you couldn’t even do that! You are so in for it tonight.”

20.“Say it! Say it loud! Let everyone know who’s fucking this pussy right.”

21.“I don’t think you understand how much I want to bend you over the nearest surface and fuck some sense into you.”

22.“Your tits bounce with each thrust…fuck you’re so sexy!”

23.“You’ve never had your pussy eaten? No, I refuse to believe no one has eaten this sweet cunt.”

24.“I love watching you throw it back on me,  always so eager for my cock.”

25.“You’ve been such a good girl, maybe daddy will finally fuck that whore ass of yours.”

26.“You try to act all innocent but I know what you really are. A cock craving whore, that’s what.”

27.“Your panties are soaked little girl, I guess you like the idea of me taking what I want.”

28.“You gonna cry and moan while I run into that virgin cunt?”

29.“Face down. Ass up. Spread that pretty little pussy for me.”

30.“You know the dick’s good when you can nothing but lay there and take it.”

31.“Are you a swallower? Yes? Good because I want you to swallow every drop of cum I’m going to give you.”

32. “I know, deep down, you’re a filthy little slut who likes to take cock deep down her throat.”

33. “Be loud. Scream for daddy, let the others know you’re mine and only mine.”

34. “You’re acting out…so, give me one good reason why I shouldn’t fold you in half right here and fuck the shit out of you.”

35. “I’m tired of you being so gentle and soft. I want you to treat me like a princess and fuck me like a whore!”

36. “I’m tired of acting like I don’t want you, and you don’t want me…just pin me against a wall and fuck me already.”

37.“Does me touching you excite you this much? You’re literally dripping.”

38.“I have a confession…I like to be choked, and not just your hand wrapped around my throat…like, choke me until my vision blurs.”

Overstimulation:

39.“You look so pretty tied up, your clit forced against that vibrator…cum for me, princess, cum for me.”

40."I-I can't. My thighs are shaking so hard and even the slightest breeze across my slit is making me shake daddy, I can't take anymore."

41."Three orgasms and you're still as hard as a rock and your balls are blue as hell. What do you want me to do, baby, how can I help?"

42."Fuck me, daddy! Fuck my used and abused cunt."

43."Two orgasms isn't enough for you? You need three? Of course, you do! You're a little cock craving slut,"

44."I have a confession, god if I weren't so fucking drunk I don't think I'd even consider telling you this but...sometimes all I want to do is tie you up and make you cum again and again until all you can do is lay there, trembling, begging me to stop."

Public/Semi-Public:

45.“We can’t! The others are here!”

46.“So what! This is my apartment and I’ll fuck you whenever and wherever I want.”

47.“Tell me how it feels being at a public event ass filled with your favorite vibrating butt plug.”

48. “Ah fuck! No! No, we shouldn’t be doing this. Well, not here at least…”

49.“Really? Couldn't you wait until we got home? You needed me so bad, that you’re going to fuck me in a public bathroom?”

Cum Play/Breeding:

50.“I’m going to fill your pussy with every inch of my cock, and then I’m going to cum deep inside your pussy. I’m going to breed you…you want that, you little slut?”

51." This is a perfect position, legs spread wide, cock buried deep in your pussy, you're going to get every drop of cum I have to offer."

52."Can you feel it, how heavy my balls are? I haven't cum in three weeks because you're so fucking stubborn, Y/N, please touch me."

53."A bet's a bet, and I won, so you know what that means. I get to fill you with my cum, anywhere hole of my choosing."

54."I love how you sit there, tongue out, waiting for my load.  Such a pretty, obedient whore."

55."You're going to go back out there and sit at your desk in your cubicle, dripping with my cum like the good girl you are."

56."Your pussy looks so pretty, especially when it's covered in my cum."

57."You feel how thick my cock is? Fucking your tight walls? I'm knotting you, baby, knotting this pretty pussy of yours and then I'm going to fill you to the hilt with my cum."

Hook-Ups:

58.“I just want to know how your dick would feel inside of me.”

59.“Desire is a nasty little thing.”

60.“I-is that a hickey?”

61.“Were you two just fucking? You two were totally just fucking!”

62.“I heard the best way to get over someone was to get under someone.”

63."Yes, I know it's two in the morning, but I'm stressing over finals and tuition and when I'm with you, all those things go away..."

64."I can't believe we had sex, you're my TA!"

Fem!Dom:

65.“It’s kind of embarrassing to admit but my cock gets so hard when I think of you noona, you make me such a leaky mess.”

66.“As much as I would love for you to fuck me…I need to know if you’re going to last.”

67.“Good boy, you had so much cum for me. I can feel it dripping down my thighs!”

68.“Good boys share.”

69.“You don’t have to act all macho, no one’s expecting it from you…be the sub I know you are.”

70.“Now, be a good boy and clean my cunt of his cum.”

71.“Admit it. Even when you’re not fucking me, all you can think about is fucking me.”

72.“What do I want you to do? I want you to eat my cunt until I’m shaking.”

73.“Don’t be embarrassed…I think it’s hot you get so hard when something’s filling your ass.”

74.“The sight of you, on your knees, tongue fucking my pussy is too much! Seeing you submit in such a way is so fucking hot.”

Voyeurism/2+:

75.“You like my friends, slut? I know they like you.”

76.“Go ahead, tell em, baby, tell them how you loved to be covered/filled with cum.”

77.“Interestingly enough, (idol of choice), just told me he gets off to the thought of you…I thought maybe we could help him out. Give him the real thing.”

78.“I’m honestly so jealous of (idol of choice), he gets to come home and fuck you after tour…”

79.“Go ahead, taste how sweet her pretty pussy is.”

80.“I see the way you look at (idol of choice) and I know you want him…go! Go and ask him to fuck your little whore pussy.”

81.“Come on princess, put on a show for me and (idol of choice), we miss you and your tight cunt so much.”

82. “Me and my friends have had a hellish week, help us relieve some of our stress, princess.”

83. “It’s my turn…I’m going to fuck his cum deep into your tight, little pussy.”

84.“I’m not going to lie…I’ve gotten off a few times thinking of having my every hole filled with cock.”

85.“Fuck! Is it bad I’m so hard watching someone else fuck your dirty cunt?”

86.“You look so much prettier with my member/friend’s cum on your face.”

87.“You’re going to let me fuck your pink pussy, while your boyfriend’s watching? God, you are such a naughty girl.”

Anal Play:

88.“I’m going to tear this little ass in two, and you’re going to do nothing but lay there and take it.”

89.“I want you to fuck my ass daddy/mommy, I’m your little anal slut.”

90.“I am so wet at the thought of your thick cock filling my ass.”

91."I am a straight man who loves to have his ass fucked."

92."The plug isn't even, I need another cock, please, please fill my ass with another cock."

93."I don't know, most guys deny and deny this some more but to be honest with you...there's nothing I love more than tongue-fucking an asshole."

Fem/Male!Dom:

94.“All these girls/guys, they try to get you to come home with them. Little do they it’s my name you’re chanting so loud that by the end of the night you can’t even speak.”

95.“I just want you to know…even though you’ve been a good girl/boy tonight, I’m going to tie you up and punish you just for my amusement.”

96.“I see the way you look at me…and it’s very inappropriate, Mr. (Idol’s last name)

97.“I like this, your hands above your head, your body completely at my/our mercy.”

98.“It’s that look, that look of innocence on your face, it makes me want to tear you into two.”

Orgasm Denial:

99.“Trust me denial is your friend. When you finally get to cum, it’ll feel so good…I promise.”

100."No, you don't get to cum until I say so. I don't care if you're close if you cum I'm going to punish you."

101."I know it feels good princess, but if you cum daddy is going to spank, not your ass but your pussy, until it's red and you're clenching around nothing, thighs shaking and skin burning, begging me to stop."

102."Are you close baby boy? Yeah? Well, we can't have that, not yet anyway, you haven't earned it."

103."I don't like edging!  I want to cum and I want to cum now."

104."I don't think I like your tone...you better be careful I might not even let you cum tonight."

105."Let us use your holes, fuck you senseless and maybe, only then will one of us make you cum. Deal?"

+Bonus Prompts

106. “Open your eyes. I watch to watch you fall apart.”

107. “Maybe if you kept your mouth shut and knew when to quit you wouldn’t be bent over my lap with your ass raw.”

108. “I’ve never met someone’s who got so wet/hard by the simple fact they’re being praised.”

109. “Were you watching me touch myself? Yes? I kind of knew you were…did you enjoy the show?”

110. “I’m mommy/daddy’s little cumslut prince/princess!”

111. “My pussy is dying to be stuffed by a big, hard cock.”

112. “You can watch if you want…if you’re good, maybe I’ll let you touch…just maybe

113. “My princess is an anal slut and she’s been telling me how much she’d love to have your cock inside of her."

114. “Honestly? She talks about how much she wants to fuck you so I told her to get on her hands and knees and beg.”

115. “It’s sad really…she walks around with no panties on waiting for one of us to fuck her

116. “They call her the blowjob machine…I think the name fits.…”

117. “I’ve never witnessed a man eat pussy like it’s his last meal…I can’t feel my legs."

118. “We’re in a car full of people…why do you decide to sit on my lap and then proceed to move?”

119. “It’s literally the most adorable thing how hard you are from just me kissing you.

120. “You talk too much, sometimes I want to shove my cock down your throat in hopes you shut up.”

#ateez #ateez smut #got7 #got7 smut #monsta x #monsta x smut #Oneus #oneus smut #nct #nct smut #wayv #wayv smut #vixx #vixx smut #seventeen #seventeen smut #ikon #ikon smut

[sunshinee-sunflowerr]

When I saw this I was immediately triggered and that’s how I knew I had to share it. Other than the fact that it is important as fuck to share something like this. But the second part of that post almost aligns with what had happened to me with my ex Dan. I have issues with sexual dysfunction and tend to lose feeling down there and that leaves me feeling betrayed by my own body. I feel so worthless and pathetic already as it is when it happens because I’m sensitive and it is humiliating when I start to cry. I don’t even get to like fully enjoy something so intimate because I’m a very passionate person and I love all types of deep connection. And he ruined it. It had stopped being such a beautiful thing for me. The second I asked him to stop and that I had mentioned I wasn’t enjoying it, he became the person I didn’t think he could truly ever be. He laid down on me. Like I’m talking all of his weight was on me, and he whined about how good it felt to stay in me and finish. I felt nothing and everything all at the same time, I wasn’t being heard, I was just a body, and I didn’t matter anymore. This was someone who was stronger than me. This was someone who I loved and straight up disrespected me to the point where I myself are in a traumatic position, I had to literally match his thrusts just so he’d come faster because I knew that was the only safe way to get him off of me. And that was humiliating and violating. I had no other choice. And to this day this man still tries to say he didn’t rape me but SIR WHEN YOU DO SHIT LIKE THAT YOU ARE A FUCKING RAPIST. YOU IGNORED MY PLEAS AND MADE ME FEEL SO UNSAFE AND I FELT LIKE MY BODY WASN’T EVEN FUCKING MINE ANYMORE. YOU GAVE ME PTSD FOR ALL THE OTHER FUCKED UP TIMES THAT I HAD LET SLIDE BECAUSE I FELT COERCED INTO IT. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID AND I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. And what had haunted me every time I wanted to go somewhere, I had to take my car. It happened in my car. I had to drive myself after that with cum dripping down my legs. I had to see a flashback every time my mind drifted towards the back. I will never EVER let myself be in that position again. Dan broke me. I’m the one who pulled myself out and I’m still healing.

It was from 2016 and trauma tells no time, I’m lucky I don’t feel the weight of your body still pinning me down during intimate times. I saw you in the faces of whoever was on top of me. I would get panic attacks and cry. You fucking ruined me and my trust and I will ruin you if you ever dare try to come into my life again.

The Relationship Aspect:

Not many people know about the sleep fucking, or when you would take my thumb out of my mouth when I was asleep because I still had some hard time sleeping so I would suck my thumb sometimes and you would replace your it with your dick and then ejaculate down my throat and I'd wake up to such a horrible taste. My inner child does scream for she was only 15-17 and I let it slide because you had so much power over me and I did so much to make you happy even though it didn't make me happy myself. Let's not forget when I wasn't in the mood sometimes so you would turn around away from me with no sound nothing and straight up fell asleep because I said no or that I don't want to have sex with you. And then there were times where you would sexualize me, you would look up my skirt or you would look at my pants and tell me about my panty lines and basically scare me and make feel little. You were constantly pointing them out and laughing, conditioning me even to never wear comfy underwear, I have more thongs than any type of other underwear. And now I'm finally getting used to wearing normal underwear again just because I was felt like someone was doing the same shit that you did to me. I felt grimy. And let's not forget when you would steal my panties and you would bring them home and jerk off in them and cum in them and to top it all off you would bring them back to my house and throw them in my dirty laundry so they can be washed so you can repeat that cycle. And the worst part is that you probably took some before we broke up and I never got them back. Fuck you. How about all those times you never asked if you could cum in me but you still did even though I fucking hated it, and you’d get mad at me when your sheets were ruined because of you the mess you made in me and I still fucking hate it it's only such a rare occasion for me to ever let that happen during any intimate moment now. Also let's not forget your greediness for my photos. My naked photos that you kept to get off to even after we broke up and still demanded more and other shit when I was with someone else it was disgusting.

The Party:

Oh here’s a memory that’s gonna be fucking me soon, once late October arrives I’m going to be thinking about that night I decided to try and most past you. That fucking college party was the biggest gray area that was so painful and smoggy. It was grey because I was still figuring my shit out and mentally screwed up from the actions of you. I'll never forget, how are used to feel guilty and how are used to blame myself for all of this. And I got to a point where we had mutual friends and I just wanted to forget all about it and learn to forgive you. As soon as ready, Matt and I went to that party that Anthony was throwing and you were there, and you had no problem laughing off your drunk ass I front of me about rape jokes. If I hadn't been high and Matt being so drunk we would've left and I remember calling my mom in the hallway crying telling her about that little part of what happened that night. And then later that night you got so fucking drunk, made everybody your babysitter and I still fucking hate myself for the side you brought out even though you caused me so much harm. You brought out my fucking maternal side which I hated because like I said in that moment of time it wasn’t black or white for me, it was grey. It was so fucking gray. And I took care of you that night because you were so fucking drunk, I remember you asking me or saying something about how I hated you. And then later that night I ended up sandwiched between you and Matt, and you decided to touch me through my pants even when I was cuddled up to Matt and I thought maybe there would’ve been some change but in the end you were still assaulting me. I didn’t sleep at all that night, and it sent me backwards, I felt like all of the progress that I had made was gone it was dehumanizing and I threw out those sweatpants and they were brand fucking new and they were Calvin Klein my favorite designer which hurt even more because I used my money to get something I really wanted for comfort and you just stumble in cocked off of what 3 beers? And ruin even the smallest things that could’ve made me more comfortable? Heinous and out right disgustingly disrespectful.

Trauma talk aftermath:

I betrayed myself sleeping with you even after the rape, and you knew so much about me so I couldn't even fucking report it even though I had the proof of you admitting to what you did. But Im always scared because my reputation was at stake and it was so easily corrupted by your lies as it is. I had no choice. You could've easily ruined my life and I wasn't about to let you so I ruined mine but little did I know that you were already ruining mine. And you still haven't taken accountability for your actions and I'm still suffering the consequences of those horrible behaviors that you were still using to this day probably. And I can't even imagine how many other girls like me there must be now.

Here's to all the nightmares that circulate in my head at night still in that feeling of fear of having and experiencing that PTSD kick into hyper drive. And all the ones I've yet to have when I have new partners in my life, because I have nightmares of them doing the same thing that you did to me and it's traumatizing. Because even though I know they are not you for that split second I am terrified of them. And I saw another post about how when sexual assault survivors even get a whiff of the scent of their abuser they are in panic; and I honestly don't blame them. I was at school the other day, and in the air I smell whatever type of detergent was used to fill the air with your scent, I was in panic for a couple minutes looking around trying to figure it out where you were. It's so fucked up that you've had such lasting effects on me like why isn’t hating you and going through all of that trauma shit enough. And I'm so tired of the panic and anxiety attacks that you still bring into my life whether it is indirect or direct.

And looking back now after going off of that and emotional spiel about what you did and how I still feel towards these events today. I realize all the ways how I am not gonna be treated in the future. You saw the light inside of me, and when you stepped into my life that light dimmed within each day that passed that I saw who you were. And it took all of my power away; but I am taking all of that power back and you will never ever use it again and you will never have it in your possession because I know I will forever be a better person and not let you win. And I know that I wasn't a good girlfriend at the time as well but you were also I'm manipulative narcissistic asshole. And I blamed myself for all of the times that I was mad at you and thought I deserved it all. And I deserve none of that shit. It was you that didn’t deserve me and all the love I gave you. All of clothes I bought you, all of the stupid ass Pokémon cards i grabbed for you because I knew it was important to you to collect them, all of the silly $7 cards to go with each thing I gave you. All of the handwritten notes. Helping you match your clothes and fold your shit. Fuck you and for all you have taken from me and didn’t even fucking say sorry or be truly appreciative.

More Trauma Talk 2020-2021 edition:

Consent is so important to me, because it was stolen from me as a child, as a teenager, and as an adult. I want to take a moment to also talk about my second ex-boyfriend named Dan as well how ironic I never thought I'd say I love you Dan ever again. But the first night we hooked up, he was so patient with me which in all honestly is sad but it truly took my breath away with the time that he spent on me making sure I knew that I was safe because he knew that I have been raped. And every once in a while he asked me if I was OK and I thought that was the most amazing thing ever little did I know that that's actually what you're supposed to do and that it's not the bare minimum. And after all of that he still had one of those moments where he traumatized me and put me back into the place where you had put me days before Christmas… which is now a tainted holiday as well as Halloween for me. Thanks a lot.

Wow… fuck this is a lot for anyone let alone me to endure and/or read and I just want to say that felt so fucking good to finally write it all down and speak my truth and let others know that not every sexual assault or rape has to be violent (well it’s violence either way, but you know getting the shit beaten out of you stereotypical type) it can be sweet until it turns sour, it can be public, it can be sneaky, it can be with someone you gained the ability to trust who was so good in the beginning. It can be anyone and that’s the real scary part because I don’t know whose intentions are actually true until they read my stuff and reassure me about how they feel about me. It’s the only way and even then I’m still scared of wanting to be intimate with someone new. It’s another strong reason as to why I am practicing celibacy for a bit.

Finished on 9/20/2021