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yournowheregirl · 1 year

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remember when i said this was gonna be 5 parts? psych! it’s gonna be six parts of the secret-dolly-parton-fan eddie munson saga (thanks again for all the love on this fic & a special thanks to @gothbat99 and @legitcookie for listening to my rambling about this part 🥰)

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 5] [part 6 + complete on ao3]

part 4: i will always love you

Eddie never thought himself to be an overthinker.

In fact, during the majority of his life a lot of people assumed he didn't think at all considering the way he flunked senior year twice (He got there in the end, though). But lately - well, actually ever since Pat swore up and down Steve isn’t as straight as Eddie originally thought - Eddie’s brain has been running at a hundred miles an hour.

More specifically, Pat’s words have been echoing through his mind, haunting him, torturing him, every time he hangs out with Steve.

“Hey man, that shirt looks really great on you.” Steve says one day when Eddie shows up at Family Video wearing a red henley. It’s an old shirt he found earlier that week when Wayne forced him to clean out his closet, a little tight but it still fit so Eddie decided to keep it.

“What, this old thing?” Eddie scoffs, playing with the frayed hem of the shirt.

“Yeah, it’s… it suits you. Looks nice.” Steve smiles.

“Thanks.” Eddie replies. His smile is tight, in the hopes that he doesn’t give away the swarm of butterflies currently residing in his stomach.

But are ya sure that boy’s straight?

“Wait, what’s happening again?” Steve asks one night during Will’s latest Hellfire campaign.

It’s the first time in literal years that Eddie’s been playing a character instead of DM’ing and so far, he’s been very impressed with Will replacing him. Though his story lines can be a little too detailed at times, which makes it hard for Steve - who hasn’t been there during every D&D night - to keep up.

So, Eddie explains it to him. He’s patient, keeping his voice low so the others won’t overhear and carefully watches Steve connect the dots. Watches how that cute little frown in between his eyebrows slowly fades away and is replaced with a soft smile.

“Which brings us here, to the Rotting Grove and now we gotta wait until Dustin’s character makes a decision.” Eddie says finally, but Steve stays quiet. He’s still looking at Eddie, eyes wide with wonder, maybe he still doesn’t understand the plot just yet. “Sorry, did I go too fast? You want me to start again?”

“No, no, I got it.” Steve shakes his head, smiling. “Thanks for explaining it, though. You’re a great story teller, Eddie.” He says, bumping their shoulders together but never pulling away.

Steve stays glued to Eddie’s side throughout the rest of the night, whispering the occasional question or snarky comment in his ear, sending a chill down Eddie’s spine every time he feels Steve’s lips brush against his skin.

But are ya sure that boy’s straight?

“You really gotta be more careful.” Steve says sternly one afternoon, after Eddie has fallen face-first onto the ground during one of Max’ skateboarding lessons, leaving him with a nasty graze on his cheek.

“I was being- fucking Christ, Steve.” Eddie hisses as Steve dabs a washcloth against Eddie’s bloodied cheek. “Will you stop that? That hurts like hell.”

Steve ignores his protests, rolling his eyes. “An infection hurts even more, so just stay still, will you?”

His hand, big and warm, finds Eddie’s hip, holding him still against the bathroom counter, as Eddie tries to think of literally anything that’ll stop his blood from going south because this not the place or time to pop a boner right now. Which somehow results in him being particularly mopey to Steve.

“I can take care of myself y’know? Been doin’ it all my life.” He grunts when Steve slowly removes the washcloth.

“I know you can.” Steve replies softly. “But sometimes it’s nice to have someone taking care of you for a change.”

He runs his thumb over Eddie’s cheek, wiping away the last of the blood before placing his his hand on Eddie’s jaw, turning his face to see if there are any wounds to be taken care of. When Steve nods, obviously proud of his work, Eddie almost wants to go out there and trip another time, just to feel Steve’s hands on his skin again.

“Besides, you need someone around here who actually knows first aid. God forbid something happens to that pretty face of yours.” Steve smirks, before patting Eddie’s chest and walking out of the bathroom, leaving Eddie speechless for the first time in his life.

But are ya sure that boy’s straight?

Pat’s words keep getting louder and louder in his mind to the point that it’s the only thing Eddie can think about. He overanalyzes every single one of Steve’s movements, every word that rolls off his tongue, every glance sent his way, to the point that he swears he’s going insane.

Because the more he starts thinking about it, the more Pat might actually be right and isn’t that the most terrifying thing in the wold?

-xxx-

“Dude, will you stop that?”

Eddie looks up from where he was mindlessly staring out the window and glares at Dustin, who glares right back at him. “What?”

“Your leg.” Dustin pokes him in said leg, the one that’s been bouncing uncontrollably for the past few minutes. “It’s fucking annoying.”

Dustin’s been at the Munson trailer since early afternoon, figuring out the perfect songs to put on the mixtape he’s mailing Suzie for their anniversary. Eddie had felt honored that Dustin came to him, rather than the so-called leading expert on romance (Steve) but now his patience is wearing thin.

Don’t get him wrong, he loves the squirt with all his heart, but Dustin’s been contemplating between two very similar songs for thirty minutes now and his indecisiveness is starting to get on Eddie’s nerves.

“Maybe if you hurried the fuck up, my leg wouldn’t be shakin’ Henderson.” Eddie retorts. “C’mon, hurry up, will ya? I got places to go, people to meet.”

Dustin snorts. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“You know, going out to the woods to deal doesn’t exactly count as Friday evening plans.” Dustin says.

“Hey!” Eddie protests. “You know I don’t do that shit anymore, not with those shady government assholes watching my every move.” He sighs, fiddling with the rings on his fingers. “But if you must know, me and Steve are having a movie night at his place and you know how huffy he gets when I’m late.”

That’s not entirely true. Sure, Eddie’s going over to the Harrington house tonight and sure they’re gonna watch a movie, but it’s also the night that Eddie decided to finally make a move on Steve. And maybe, if everything goes right, tonight will be the night that he finds the guts to Steve how he feels.

Which is why Dustin needs to get a move on because he really needs those extra few hours to contemplate his existence, have a panic attack, talk himself down from said panic attack and figure out what he’s going to wear.

“Okay, now I know you’re lying.” Dustin says, looking anything but impressed with Eddie.

“What? I ain’t lying, Henderson.” Eddie frowns. He grabs the VHS tape from the coffee table and waves it in Dustin’s face. “See, I got the movie and everything.”

“Yeah, well, you must have gotten the days mixed up.” Dustin shrugs. “Steve’s got a date tonight.”

“Yeah, right.” Eddie says, rolling his eyes at Dustin and ignoring the way his heart is starting to beat a little faster out of sheer panic. “Steve hasn’t been on a date since he broke up with Emily. And even if he has a date, I doubt he would’ve planned it at the same time as our movie night.”

“Well sorry to burst your bubble, but I know for a fact that Steve’s got a date tonight because he told me.” Dustin’s tone is bordering on condescending but Eddie doesn’t even have energy to tell him off right now because what the fuck? What does Dustin mean by that? And maybe more importantly, why did Steve leave Eddie in the dark about all this?

A heavy feeling settles down in his stomach, but he can’t let Dustin see his inner turmoil so he goes with indifference instead. “Pff, sure he did.”

“I saw him buy roses, Eddie! They were red too and that’s like, a dead giveaway for romance!” Dustin declares. “And when I talked to him about it he got this… weird, mushy look in his eye, which by the way gross, and said something about making tonight special and shit. Which again, gross, but if that doesn’t scream romantic evening to me, then I don’t know what is!”

Slowly, as Dustin’s words are starting to sink in, the heavy feeling grows stronger and stronger until Eddie feels his stomach drop.

Steve’s going on a date.

Steve’s going on a date and just ditches Eddie without saying a word.

Steve’s going on a date with someone who isn’t Eddie.

Steve’s going on a date which means Pat was wrong.

“Get out.” Eddie says, voice on edge.

“Geez, didn’t know you’d get so upset. It’s just a cancelled movie night, I’m sure Steve-”

“Out!” Eddie exclaims, his tone way harsher than it needs to be. It obviously affects Dustin, who flinches at his words, but Eddie doesn’t care. Well, he does but he’ll apologize to Dustin later, once he starts to feel normal about all of this.

Dustin quietly packs his stuff, mumbling something under his breath as Eddie just stands there, frozen. Eyes glued to the coffee stain on the carpet, mind reeling with thoughts of Steve ditching him for some date he didn’t even tell him about.

He hears Dustin say a quiet goodbye but he stays there for a good few minutes before he finally snaps out of his trance and grabs the keys to the van from the kitchen counter. He doesn’t even see the dark clouds forming in the sky, he just gets in the van and drives.

-xxx-

Rain is still pouring down when Eddie arrives at the Off-Road. Not that he really cares about the weather right now, he’s got other things on his mind. He pulls his leather jacket over his head and jogs over to the entrance, only to find the door closed and the lights off.

Great. Like his day couldn’t get any worse.

Eddie slumps down on the porch in front of the bar, not caring that he’s sitting on wet wood or that the wind is blowing the raindrops right in his face. The rain is actually pretty nice right now, hiding the tears that are slowly rolling down his cheek.

Crying over Steve motherfuckin’ Harrington. That’s a new low, even for him.

And the thing is, any other time Eddie could’ve dealt with Steve getting another date. Yeah, it’d probably hurt like a bitch and Eddie would’ve been sulking for a day or two, but he would’ve been fine. It would’ve been just another Emily situation, just another reminder that Steve would never been his.

But Steve keeping him in the dark about his date, Steve just flat-out cancelling their movie night without even telling him, after weeks of, let’s be honest, low-key flirting? That somehow hurts even more. It just feels like Steve doesn’t really care about him, like Steve’s using him like a fucking Kleenex - use once, then throw away when it’s no longer useful.

The thoughts in his head are so loud, so overwhelming, that he doesn’t even hear a pick-up truck stopping a few steps from him. Doesn’t hear the hushed voices or the wet sounds of footsteps through the mud.

“Ed? Whatcha doin’ here kid?”

Eddie looks up from where he had been staring at his feet, only to find Pat and Tish standing in front of him, huddled together underneath an umbrella. The worried looks on both their faces makes Eddie just cry even harder.

“Oh honey.” Tish says softly. “Let’s get you inside, okay?”

Pat and Tish lead him inside and up the stairs that lead to the apartment above the bar. It’s small, but cozy and feels like a home, with little trinkets and old photos scattered just about everywhere. Pat firmly plants Eddie down at the kitchen table and hands him a couple of towels as his tears slowly start to fade. He hadn’t even realized how cold he was until Pat throws a woolen blanket over his shoulders and Tish puts down a pot of hot chamomile tea.

“So…” Pat says as she sits down across from him at the kitchen table. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Eddie sniffs, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “It’s stupid.”

“We’ll be the judge of that.” Pat says sternly, though her eyes are soft. “Now tell us what happened.”

And Eddie just spills everything. How Pat’s advice has been haunting him, how he’s been overanalyzing every of Steve’s moves, how he was so sure that Steve liked him back, only to be tossed aside without a care. He tears up again a few times and it’s so embarrassing he wants to be buried alive, even with Pat and Tish just listening and telling him it’s okay.

Once he’s done, he just feels empty - no more tears to cry, no more words to say, just an empty, hollow feeling where his heart used to be.

“Eddie, I’m so sorry, honey.” Tish sighs as she pours him another cup of tea. He’s not usually a tea drinker but he’s had two cups already - he swears Tish put some kind of crack in it, rather than sugar cubes. “For what it’s worth, he doesn’t deserve you. Not if he treats like you like, pardon my French, dogshit.”

Hearing Tish swear, while she’s generally so prim and proper, makes Eddie laugh, even through his dried-up tears. “Thanks, Tish.” He sighs, slouches down in his chair and looks up at the wooden ceiling. “But I guess this was good, in some twisted, fucked up way. Just the slap in the face I needed.”

“What’d you mean?” Pat frowns.

“It’s just… I been running after him like some lovesick puppy even though I know he’ll never feel the same.” Eddie says. “And it’s not doing me any good, now is it? Guess this is a sign that it’s time for me to move on.”

He knows he said that before, back when Steve started dating Emily, and even though it clearly didn’t work out the way he wanted to, Eddie has to make it work now. He has to say goodbye to Steve because he’s not so sure his poor heart’ll survive if he doesn’t.

And he knows exactly how he’s going to do just that.

Eddie jumps up from the table and races downstairs, ignoring Pat and Tish’s confused noises as they follow him. He fumbles with the lights for a moment but as soon as the lights are partially on, Eddie walks up to the podium, grabs the guitar off the wall and sits down on the stool that has become so familiar to him.

The bar is silent because of course it is and for a second Eddie just wants to laugh at how weird this whole situation - singing in a bar just to process his dumb feelings, even with no audience around (well, there’s an audience if you count Pat, Tish and the wind howling outside). But he has to do this, needs to do this, audience be damned.

His hands are shaking, hesitating to play the first few chords. It’s not like he doesn’t know the song, in fact he knows it by heart and played it plenty of times, But he never actually sang the words, too scared what’ll mean if he’ll say them out loud.

“If I, should stay… I would only be in your way. So, I’ll go but I’ll know, I’ll think of you each step of the way.” Eddie sing softly, voice already wavering because he was right for not singing this song before - it fucking hurts. “And I… will always love you.”

Eddie’s voice echoes through the empty bar, causing to sound more hollow than it already is. A shiver runs up his spine when he feels a cool breeze of wind - the wind must’ve flung the door open. Eddie doesn’t look up, closes his eyes instead and lets the music take him.

“Bittersweet memories, that’s all I’m taking with me.” He hears Pat and Tish whispering to another, can’t really see them from where they’re standing in the dark but their hushed voices sound tense. Not that Eddie’s really listening, it’s all background noise as he continues strumming his guitar.

“Goodbye, please don’t cry. We both know…” Eddie chokes on his on voice, the words hitting a little too close to home. He takes a deep breath and tries again, refusing to shed anymore tears. “We both know that I’m not what you need.”

“Eddie?”

Someone’s calling out his name. A familiar voice. A way too familiar voice.

Steve’s voice.

But that can’t be. Steve’s doesn’t knows he’s here. Steve’s too busy wooing his goddamn date with those goddamn roses.

It’s just in his head. It’s just his mind playing tricks on him. He just needs to finish this song and then this fake Steve will disappear and-

“And I… will always love you. I will always-”

“Eddie, please.”

Eddie stops playing as a shadow washes over him, a figure blocking the spotlight. He squints, trying to identify whether it’s Pat or Tish who interrupted him, only to find that it’s neither of them

Because there, with floppy wet hair plastered to his face and a thoroughly soaked pink button-down and blue jeans, stands the one person Eddie had run away from in the first place.

Steve.

tag list (there are so many of you now omg ily):

@cheatghost @henderdads @unclewaynemunson @goblin-eddie @trikigirl271 @alienace @fandomcartographer @stevethehairington @blank1eboi @this-earlobe-is-naked @fruitandbubbles @courtjestermunson @steveisabicon @stereoteleversion @wrenisflying @spectrum-spectre @hotluncheddie @punkharringtxn @remislupinsthevoiceofgod @panicatthediaz @thegingervulcan @sharkruption @goodolefashionedloverboi @thelastwalkingsoul @undreamingscatworld @starrystevie @magipemuseum @mightbeasleep @corrodedcoughin @linkydinky06 @hardboiledeggs @gamerdano @limpingpenguin @blackpanzy @piningapple @teelagurl558 @theokatz @moonlightmirrorball @milf-harrington @raisedbylibrarians @eddiemunsonswife @catateme9 @stranger-poets-society

#steddie #steddie fic #steddie fanfiction #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie ficlet #steve harrington x eddie munson #stranger things #i wanna say i'm sorry for the cliffhanger but i'm not #stay patient friends!! it'll all be good soon #alice's writing adventures

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0ne-shot · 21 days

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night terrors as you rest.

bjsjshs could you tell i dont feel creative with fic titles rn ANYWAY my brain is still so so full from rereading the metal virus arc and a vision came to me of espio's trauma from that. nightmares are still abundant for the poor teen lol. so i wrote a small fic about it in like. a day. enjoy!

-------

…..

It appeared again.

After thinking those events from 2 weeks ago had finally left his mind for good…

It still creeped into his head.

The distorted images of Charmy and Vector’s metal-coated bodies didn't leave his mind, even in his sleep.

But everyone was cured..? Why was this burden, that wasn't even a result of his fault, still weighing down on his mind until it caved in?

It was an innocent inquiry.

Something that Espio would ask himself to cope with the notion that– oh no, no, he DID know why it was still there.

That heavy guilt and grief that Espio had been carrying in his heart—still after everyone was cured—stayed. Stayed with no intention of growing a wall around itself to let itself be forgotten and pulled back those past images of his friends -– no, family, still with their bodies wracked and coated with metal until there was no more trace of their individuality. Just mindless zombots.

That’s what they were seized into during that time.

Worst of all?

He couldnt even fucking do anything about it except helplessly run around to safe evacuations until he himself became one with them. Maybe that was fate. The most comfortable fate there, really. Out of all the screaming, mercy-kills and trying to save others, he’d pick that time of himself being infected to relive. To pay for the same pain he couldn't save his friends from.

Any pain– any sort of pain he had gone through or could’ve gone through then didn't amount to a speck when Charmy was punished for just trying to be a helpful child. Punished by being slowly dragged down a pool of zombots before he joined with that pool.

Or when Vector had to go through heavier grief for the loss of the kid, trying to preserve him before a cure could be found—all until Charmy escaped while infected and Vector had to latch onto him so nobody else could be put in danger. Then the door shut. And that was it.

Nobody else.

Nobody there with him.

His mind kept on tampering and entertaining situations of what ifs and gruesome outcomes of both his teammates – no, family, – not coming out cured. Stuck like that.

And with it flashed Charmy’s infected body, how the youngest had to go first, how the little kid had to go through so much pain and agony while nobody was there to answer his cries—

``Espio..?``

..!-

Reality faded.

He wasn't sure whether it faded in or out.

But the ceiling fan he was suddenly gazing at and the small voice next to him proved the former.

``Espio!? Are you…?``

Espio’s head shot up as he jabbed his elbow to the mattress and sat up straight, breathing heavily and sweating as his heart pounded—ironically after rest.

“Rest”?

….

That wasn't rest.

He was better off not sleeping.

He finally turned his gaze to the voice and as he predicted; it was Charmy. Sitting next to his bed with fuzzy antennae drooped sadly and a worried look filling his bleary little orange eyes.

``Charmy!`` Espio frantically replied, ``You’re…``

….

It was… almost strange to see Charmy worried. Espio never got the chance to really see the bee’s face so genuinely somber and concerned.

It only pumped that guilt further and further into Espio’s heart.

But maybe that was worth the coming relief.

It wasn't real.

What you experienced. Was. Not. Real.

They’re still here. Still with you.

Espio took a deep breath and attempted to gather his thoughts.

``Why are you awake? I assume it's already late.`` Espio tried his hardest to speak in a calm, quiet voice to Charmy through the panic-induced rasp that was clogging his throat.

``You were breathing really, really fast in your sleep.. and I got worried.``

…

He was?

He assumed he was silent through that whole nightmarish sequence. But if he was actually hyperventilating enough to wake up and worry Charmy…

Gaia, did he disturb the kid’s sleep because of it?

``...I'm fine. It wasn't anything note-worthy. You should go back to sleep.``

Every feature on the ninja’s body screamed otherwise to being “fine”. His usually swirly tail was still stiffened straight with those images running through his mind, and his heart was pounding wildly in shock from that nightmare.

But, still. Espio didn't want to cloud the bee’s mind and remind him of what happened to him during the metal virus: he had already moved on. That was for the better. The kid didn't deserve to think about that again. But he knew Charmy was one to press on, evidently so. So, the chameleon could only silently pray that he would not ask anything that couldn't be avoided without an answer.

``Espio…`` Charmy muttered with that concern still lingering in his head, ``That’s not normal to do while sleeping. Were you having a nightmare?``

…

Shit.

Guess the universe wasn't feeling like answering that silent prayer.

There’s not many things in the world that can explain full on hyperventilation in sleep other than a nightmare or night terror…

Maybe if he just… could set aside what the nightmare exactly.. was…

``...`` Espio nodded in response to Charmy’s question, before trying to shrug it off.

``About..? It must’ve been freaky—I’ve never seen you so.. scared before.``

``I… It’s not worth noting.``

``Are you sure?`` The little bee pressed on.

Flapping his wings, Charmy flew over and climbed onto Espio’s bed, shuffling himself closer to the chameleon with his innocent eyes eager for an answer. He seemed to want to help calm down Espio with maybe a small side hug, or a pat on the shoulder, too; but the bee was hesitant with that decision considering Espio’s hate for physical touch. Especially when Espio’s stressed, like now.

``...I- It was just a night terror that.. isn't worth getting worked up on,`` Espio spoke through slightly panting breaths, ``and besides, I don't want to remind and stress you out, too.``

``It’s not gonna help bottling up whatever scared y— wait, “remind me”?``

…

Espio slipped out the very thing he was trying to avoid…

Realization slowly pooled in Charmy’s eyes.

``..Oh.``

…This should’ve been expected, huh?

He shouldn’t have tried hiding this.

Hiding this from Charmy, of all mobians.

…But before Espio could try and still save himself from this, he felt a small pair of arms cling around his own—doing what they feared to do before.

``...Espio.. It was okay to tell me, y’know?... I was scared during then, too.``

Charmy then cautiously nuzzled his head onto Espio’s shoulder.

The ninja’s breath hitched.

He wasn't used to this. Used to having a younger one who you should be looking after, looking after you. Comforting you. It felt so alien to him.

It felt so alien with anyone comforting him, really.

It was mostly Espio’s fault for it, wasn't it? He’d always try to convince himself that walling off his vulnerability was the best thing for him; the best thing for everyone around him, too. Those emotions rarely seeped out, and when they did, every thought was cancelled out for one goal to get it together again and remain stoic once more.

The same thing happened just now, too.

The last part was the only thing that varied.

His mind was screaming about how this wasn't right, and he shouldn't even have inadvertently told the bee—let alone burden him with his own fears and emotions. Charmy suffered more pain than he did, but he was the one soothing Espio? The chameleon felt so selfish for it.

…But his body said otherwise to his mind as he gently returned Charmy’s hug, wrapping his arms around the bee’s fuzzy, warm body.

His chest felt a little lighter.

He could feel Charmy’s wings twitch a little in shock when his arms returned the favour. It was clear the bee didn't foresee Espio actually accepting the hug—let alone hugging him back.

``...Charmy?``

``Mhm?`` Charmy’s eyes gazed up at Espio, face still nuzzled in his shoulder.

``...``

``Thank you.``

Espio didn't know how else to express it.

Words didn't do any sort of favour, really. But he just… needed to get it out somehow.

The ninja couldn't see, but he could definitely sense a small smile emerging onto Charmy’s face as he tightened his hug around Espio.

``No. Thank you.``

….

They stayed like that for a while.

It felt so soothing. Staying in that position as his breathing finally calmed down and his heart’s pace started to relax.

The images — those horrifying images — slowly faded away back into subconsciousness.

Espio would’ve remained so still for just a little while longer until Charmy’s small yawn reminded the chameleon of the fact that it was still past midnight, and now extremely late. Cases were waiting tomorrow, so was a long, long day. They should get to sleep now..

But Espio didn't feel like letting go anytime soon…

In result, wordlessly, he slowly adjusted his grip around Charmy before slowly lowering his body and putting his legs onto the mattress again as he rested his head on the pillow; now cuddling the fuzzy little body in his arms. He felt Charmy finally comfortable enough to nuzzle his head onto Espio’s chest as he let his eyes flutter shut in sleepiness.

Espio’s chest felt a lot warmer now.

For a while, Espio’s eyes remained blinking blearily and his hands still stroked Charmy’s fluffy fur—the very thing that lulled the bee back to sleep in the first place.

He stared at the window beside him.

This was quite the long night, huh..?

Espio didn't think it’d turn out this way, but he wouldn’t have chosen anything else for it.

He wouldn't trade this moment for the world.

Exhaustion came to Espio eventually, and he let his eyes close and his hand rest still on Charmy’s head.

``G’night, Charmy…`` Espio slurred with tiredness.

A few more blinks, then his eyes closed.

And the world grew dark again as Espio finally let himself drift off.

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note: charmy ily <3 best bros ever

#no matter what charmy is still a sweetheart and i will die on that hill #lil bro comforting big bro <3 #my brain was deprived of fluff i aM STILL FAMISHED GRAJHGH #anyway :) tagging time #charmy bee #team chaotix #sonic #sth #sonic the hedgehog #espio the chameleon #espio #charmy the bee #fanfic #fanfiction

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doubledyke · 5 months

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gonna stick these two together since they're both for eddy

1. my first impression of him: as a kid i'm sure i thought he was a real jerk. but like i did for edd i'll go based off of my impression when i was first in the fandom years back. i remember feeling some type of way about eddy, especially in the later seasons. i was way more annoyed and troubled by the unnecessarily asshole-ish stuff he did. now i just find it all hilarious and feel sorry for him. these days i'm an eddy apologist through and through. there's not a negative trait in him that i can't come up with an excuse for and/or find the humor in. oh i also remember liking him mostly bc he was cute with edd and i love edd. but over time....

2. when i truly started to like him: my opinion of him became more nuanced until it turned into what it is now which is that of a full blown stan. when i became jaded by the dedicated edd fandom it probably allowed room for eddy to infect my already vulnerable brain.

4. how many people i ship him with: really only edd. any time i think of him with someone else it's basically as a joke/for the novelty. i genuinely can't think of someone else i'd seriously ship him with.

6. my least favorite ship with him: i can't say there are any that i think about enough to dislike. i'm pretty unwavering in my opinion that he's like a 5.5 on the kinsey scale, so putting him in straight ships doesn't do much for me, other than maybe provide an opportunity to explore another aspect of his character.

7. a quote from him that i remember: "my brother was a whiz at chewin' ice cubes." no idea what that's supposed to mean but it's absurdly funny.

8.my favorite outfit of his: my favorite is the yellow hoodie but of course i have to include others

9. my least favorite outfit of his: these greasy suit jackets and ties are hilariously awful. this must be how his dad dresses.

10. describe the character in one sentence: it's so obvious but "a little childhood trauma builds character."

11. the first thing i think about when i think of eddy: slurs. and this image

12. sexuality hc: gaaaaaaaaaaaay

18. what do i think he was like as a (younger) kid: i think little eddy was very curious and even more sponge-like than most kids. gullible, as anyone is at that age. very sensitive and sincere until he was programmed into seeing those things as flaws and weaknesses by the toxically masculine figures in his life.

25. when did he act the most out of character: i always think about the xmas special. it makes me wonder what would've happened if he hadn't immediately been tempted by santa's giant sack.

26. when do i think he was being most himself: i guess at the conclusion of bps?? if i recall, it was you @gettingfrilly who said he feels the most out of character AND most himself at the end of bps and i agree. eddy's not the apologizing type so it's more meaningful when he says he's sorry and comes off as uncanny. the fact that he knew the other shoe was gonna drop at some point is so sad lol. letting down the facade obviously reveals his true self and simultaneously seems ooc cuz his character is largely a front.

28. the most unnecessary thing he ever did: lbr most of the shit he did in the show was unnecessary. it's hard to pick the worst of all, but i'll go with the swamp prank. i know it's in his blood, but damn dog. edd was already on the brink of collapse by that point, so pretending to die a horrific death for the second time in one already awful day wasn't his brightest idea. but eddy is nihilistic as hell, especially during the final stretch of the series and into the movie so it comes as no real surprise.

#thanks for letting me talk about eddy #it's not as if i needed an excuse but still #text

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bri-the-fando-meister · 1 year

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The Sting

Minho x Reader Female --- Newt is also in it

Summary: A few months ago, Minho's best runner got stung, he was worried about them, because he loved them. That was you, you were his best runner. One day, he saw your sting, and it was not shucking pretty.

TW: Short part about offing self, swearing, description of wound

1700 words, 12 minute read time

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You and Minho had been extremely close since you became his best runner, well, that was until the horrid day that you got stung. Then you became even closer.

He was there when you went through the changing, he saw you flail about, he saw you screaming in tortured agony. He even saw you as your hands fixed around your neck, squeezing until your face grew purple. He remembers that horrifying and gripping moment of him prying your hands away, only to be met with screaming, but he knew it wasn't you.

You didn't like him seeing you as you were, you were an animal - a sick wounded animal that wanted to get away from it all, but couldn't.

"I don't know if you are going to get through this or not but, Y/n, I love you. I am so sorry I let this happen to you. I am such a slinthead and I shucking love you."

When you had recovered enough to think straight, you decided to see if he actually did love you, like he had said. "Minho, was my brain making klunk up when I went through the changing or did you actually say you loved me?" Minho smirked.

"I guess that means you love me too?"

You nodded so fast that your head could have fallen off.

"I guess that it's official."

It had been 2 months ago, the two of you had been together 2 whole months.

Because of the whole griever incident and your arm being a bit, gruesome looking, you religiously wore a jumper to hide it from people that may see it. Shuck, not even Minho had seen it being your boyfriend and all.

One night though, you had accidentally let your guard down.

"Minho, I am gonna change shirts, k'? This shirt is soo itchy."

You pulled your jumper and shirt over your head doing that twisty arm thingy. That left you in just a sports bra and your shorts, your arm was in plain sight.

Then he saw it, all of it. Your heavily bruised, puckered, swollen, and red arm with a scabby circular shape sitting inside it all.

"Fuck Y/n, that looks infected. Has it been like that since the, sting?" He was worried, it was the most worried you had seen Minho since the initial sting.

You shrugged it off "Ehh, it's not that bad Minho. Just slim it nice and cool will ya"

"No, no, No this is bad, it is infected. I need to get you to the med-jacks. They will know what to do. You are going no matter what, Y/n, this is serious."

"Whyyyy, I don't need it. Nobody was even meant to see it." you were whining at Minho, you hate being fussed over and being seen as weak.

"Come on Y/n, we can do it the easy way or the hard way." He spoke to you as though you were a little kid.

"I guess it will have to be the hard way, I am not going anywhere for shuck sake." you fumbled around Minho's hut, it was kinda yours too, you needed to get a shirt and your jumper on.

"Ok, if you do say so" Minho smirked, "Y/n, you are coming with me whether you like it or not, don't be a slinthead because I am much, Much stronger than you" and with that, he used one leg to sweep your feet from under you and caught your back on the way down.

The entire situation turned into Minho having the upper hand. He was carrying you bridal style to the med-hut with you kicking out and flailing around.

"I didn't quite expect 'this' to be how I got you to the med-hut. You are normally much better behaved than this."

You protested. "Minho, put me down. I said PUT ME DOWN! Ok, have it your way, sorry in advance."

Minho had his guard up, he knew you were going to do something.

You began to squirm around in his big arms getting to the perfect angle with one arm hanging in between his legs.

Then you hit him in the family jewels. Then he dropped you. Then you ran off. Then you ran into something. Then the something spoke.

"Bloody hell Y/n, watch where your shucking going." then he saw your arm. "Oh my god Y/n, did you get stung again? What happen-" he trailed off. Even at night you could tell by the voice who it was, it was Newt. "Y/n?"

"Yes Newt?"

"Why is Minho in the middle of the glade doubled over clutching his nutsack?" Newt was, to say the very least, curious.

So, you told him the story while Minho began walking the 100 meters between you and him.

"Wow Y/n" Minho had arrived back "You and Minho have had, quite the night, hey?"

"I guess so, but forget you ever saw my piece of klunk arm"

"Y/n" It was Minho, he was speaking firmly, you could tell he was serious at the time "You still need to go, if not by my word, Newt's authority. Are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way? Your choice"

"I'm not going, you can get some stuff from the medjacks and bring it to our hut. Nobody else is seeing my bloody arm!" you were practically yelling at the end, you were ready to fight a losing battle.

Minho approached you slowly, both hands open facing you, as not to scare you. "Come on Y/n, please, for me?" and with that he lunged forward and snatched your wrist. "Fuck off Minho, let me go." before you knew it, you had socked him in the jaw.

"Minho, sorry, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to do that, I am so, so sorry. Sorrysorrysorry."

"You really don't want to go huh? I am sorry, but you have to, it is too infected, you could get sepsis and die if it isn't treated" Minho was pissed, and you knew it. He wasn't used to you being snarky.

Minho turned to Newt and spoke to him while he was still holding your wrist.

"Newt."

"Yeah Minho"

"Grab one of her arms, I don't care if she wants to or not, she, is, going." Minho spoke bluntly.

"On it, Minho"

Before you knew it, both of your arms were being held as you were hoisted to your feet, you were being defiant and you knew it, so you decided that 'if they want me there that bad, they can drag me'.

Yep, you had gotten yourself into quite the predicament. Your boyfriend and the second-in-command of the glade were dragging you by your arms to the medhut, it definitely wasn't a desirable situation. So you know, you kicked out at Minho in hopes that he would let go of you.

"Y/n, cut it out, it's not the end of the shucking world."

You kept trying to kick him.

"Newt, can you hook your other arm under her leg. Just keep her still please."

You weren't able to kick or hit anymore, you were defenseless.

"Hey Minho" Newt said

"Yeah Newt, what's up?"

"Yanno, you did a good job at picking a shucking girlfriend that is as feisty and stubborn as you."

"Oi, you little slinthead"

The two boys were actually kind of funny, listening to them talk to each other was somewhat calming.

"Y/n, are you going to walk now, or do Newt and I still have to be your personal slaves?"

"I- I will walk now, I guess it does need to get looked at."

"Good choice" the two boys said in unison as they dropped your legs, they still held onto your arms though, you had had a history of running off at random times.

You didn't think it could get any worse, but then, Alby came out of the medhut 300 meters away. Ok, ok, Alby walking out of the medhut was no big deal, he was probably just checking on his men.

And then you remembered that if he saw you being led to the medhut with two of his best men holding your arms tight he would in the very least, be concerned.

You stopped dead in your tracks and didn't want to go nearer to Alby, he would not be happy that you kept your poor arm a secret.

"Come on Y/n, Newt and I can drag you again if you want."

"And then Alby will be more inclined to come over" Newt added.

Shuck, what would you do, you could plant one foot far in front of you so they couldn't drag you, or you could actually listen to them for the first time that night. You knew what you were going to do.

You dug your left heel into the dewy night grass and put your right foot backwards and twisted it, bracing for being pulled. Though you knew that you were no match for the boys.

Then you felt them trying to drag you, but they weren't. Your bracing helped. Them Minho picked up your front foot rendering your attempts at bracing yourself useless.

"Come on Y/n, any more of this bullshit and I will be calling Alby over, you don't want him seeing you, do you?"

"Fine, I will walk, just let go of me, it is bringing too much attention."

"Promise not to run off, I don't wanna get angry boyfriend on you."

"Promise, Minho"

Then they let go, and to you followed along, a plan already brewing in your mind.

"Good, good Y/n, see, you are able to behave. We have already walked 50 meters. Good job" Minho was happy you decided to behave.

You looked over to the trees at the deadheads, you could easily get there before Minho caught up to you, surprisingly though, he was the fastest in the glade, Ben coming second.

Minho and Newt let you walk in between them, though they were both only a foot away from your arms- to run would be close but not impossible.

You began to build up good rapport with them, they trusted you. You hated to need to break their trust, but it was your only chance, you were only 100m away from the medhut.

"Y/n, you have slowed down, you aren't planning on running. Are you?"

"I- I was going to, Minho, I don't know why, but I am scared."

He grabbed your waist and pulled you in tightly.

"I love you Y/n, it will be okay, I won't let anything bad happen to you."

#the maze runner #maze runner #tmr minho #tmr newt #tmr minho x reader #tmr newt x reader #tmr alby #writing #tmr books #tmr fanfiction #tmr fandom

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langernameohnebedeutung · 5 months

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Im rewatching season 1 how crazy it is that liv could have- probably not, but it would have definitely changed things- stopped blaines brain business by supplying him with brains herself. It would have been nice to have another zombie during those early days to talk to, esp if liv still believed blaine was making a change in his life or whatever he said. Kinda like what lowell was to her but less british

(I actually have this very similar AU-idea that I like to explore at the bottom of my hindbrain 'what if Liv hadn't seen Blaine in that alleyway and had been willing to buy into his 'repentant drug dealer' persona and they had been on semi-friendly terms for the first season)(though I kind of like the angle that he still does the brain business thing. And Ravi and Liv (and Major, separately) catch on to the fact that a brain business exists and try to find out who is running it - and even clue Blaine in case he can help and perhaps he delivers them wrong information or otherwise manipulates them) so it's a bigger personal betrayal when they find out that it was Blaine all along)

The thing is, I think it's a bit of a veeeery soft retcon they did at the beginning of season 2 (or perhaps just a clarification) because when the cast talks about Blaine's original return in the second episode, they talk about how it was supposed to be very ambiguous where he's standing.

But at the start of season 2, Blaine mentions that Angus was his 'first customer' - and since the first person we see him infect for his business is Jackie (we don't really know when he infected the Meat Cute gang or when he stored Julien and the others in his freezer), season 1 leaves the option that Jackie was the start of his business and that he used her money to expand OR that she was just one of many in a row. Saying Angus was the first means he would already definitely have been at it for a while when he found out about Liv. (On the other hand, it could be argued that infecting and 'owning' Angus is so personal that it doesn't really count as part of the bigger brain business scheme. That maybe he just infected him to keep himself afloat AND to get back at his father and then only later decided 'hey, actually I can do this to everyone I want!' (or perhaps he just told Angus that he was the first, but personally, I like the theory that he went straight to Angus the moment he had a shot at revenge. Plus, I don't think he would tell Angus that he was the first if he wasn't - because that would be admitting how much power Angus still has over him.)

Though, I also think that the way in which Blaine infects Jackie...seems pretty routined and pre-meditated. And when he did that, it was before the alleyway scene so at that point, Blaine still thought Liv was going to give him brains. So to me that certainly always felt like the plan was to x two birds with 1 stone:

a) check out the people who are looking for me online and who are working at a morgue and stay in touch to keep an eye on them (and the cops by extension)(after all, he even does a similar thing in season 2, when he wants Liv to keep an eye on Dale for him)

b) do hapless remorseful drug dealer and fellow zombie act, secure brain, secure customer, play grateful that Liv is giving you brains but sell them off behind her back. Profit! >:)

(that's my personal interpretation though)

But I also definitely would have enjoyed if there had been a longer period of just...uncertainty about what Blaine's deal is and more time in which to perhaps explore Liv's feelings about Blaine's part in her infection and everything that happened at the boat party at large and also perhaps the way her feelings on the matter conflicted with Ravi's, who was a lot more willing to give Blaine the benefit of the doubt. (and you know who could have given us that??? the old 24-episode format!! ...but that's another passion topic of mine)

(On the other hand, it's also a topic that I feel a bit conflicted on because I've seen some people (cough reddit! cough) literally blame Liv for the bullshit Blaine does à la "ohh, surely Blaine wouldn't have gone and built a giant business on the back of murdered orphans if Liv had just shared that brain with him in ep. 2" ...which. nah. I think that is an obstacle that could be overcome without going full Mrs. Lovett.)

#izombie #fandom

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scarletiswailing347 · 1 month

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postinf the text for my day 2 bsweek prompt here cause its making me lag lol

do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to be a zombie in this economy? you just go out there trying to have a bite to eat so you go up to some randos and they just start SHOOTING YOU! like straight up just SHOOTING YOU! like what the hell man? i mean i know im trying to rip your brains out and shit but cant you let a guy just fucking eat???? speaking of, this guy's brain tastes weird like im pretty sure its at least fifty percent plastic, maybe even a hundred percent i don't know. was he your boyfriend or something? does this mean you're single? wanna go out sometime? you're annoying as shit but i like that in a man, keeps you on your toes y'know? keeps you humble as well like you just wake up in bed one day and go "oh god this is the guy im dating and i don't even want to break up with him or anything what the hell's wrong with me," which i think is a pretty important thing to have-- at least for me 'cause im awesome as shit and if i don't have that sort of anchor i'll probably lke turn into god or something and i dont wanna be god. not out of self-esteem issues or anything, just out of principle 'cause i think that everyone should have a fair chance at killing me which not gonna lie is pretty easy but that's besides the point, the point is that i think anyone who wants to be god is fucking stupid and should just fucking die. like, hello??? who the hell do you think you are rying to reign above other people? are you stupid? are you dumb? hello? anyways, if you wanna know more about what i think of this i post a lot on r/atheism, im user u/waffleontopp-- wait , do i have to explain reddit to you? 'cause you seem more like a tumblrina to me, honestly reddit's pretty similar to tumblr so you won't have a lot of trouble figuring it out on your own but don't be shocked ifbyou see cock and balls on there since porn isn't banned there unlike tumblr. how's that whole thing treating you by the way? must be tough not seeing some girl's boobs every once in a while-- wait are you gay or bi? must be tough not seeing some guy's boobs every once in a while, that won't be problem if you start dating me though. haha just kidding, my chest is basically concave now after a survivor beat me repeatedly with a baseball bat so ive got like negative double D's now. oh but i do know this one guygirlthing whose boobs are out basically 24/7 who likes to hang out with me and this other guy so maybe that'll make up for it. they're not zombies and im pretty sure they didnt get infected so you don't have to worry about that but they miiiight have rabies or something im not sure to be honest so maybe watch out for that instead. if youre wondering why two non-infected humans are hanging out with a zombie then we're in the same boat, might have something to do with the possible rabies i mentioned earlier. also if they tell you that im their pet zombie that is simply not true, if anything it's the other way around, they're my pet guard dogs and they do basically anything i say even if it kills them. or at least i wish it would kill them, they're way too hardy in my opinion, i need them to die so i can eat their brains-- oh but then i'll have to do manual labor. hmm, on second thought, they can stay actually i don't wanna deal with all that. normally i dont even do my own kills nowadays, i just leave a trap or get the other two to do it for me, you guys just caught me offguard which is lowkey embarassing but trust me i am a huge, like Huge alpha sigma gamma male and would totally dominate everyone else around me. but not in a god way of course, just in a lone sigma alpha gamma wolf kinda way like those anime wolf furry drawings. you know the ones. and like im not a furry but not gonna lie they totally popped off with those

#mine.txt

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astrowaffles · 2 years

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Ushiten 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30

STRAIGHT TO THE POINT HUH 😭

right, this is probably gonna be the longest post I ever make on this site, let's do it

1. Who is the most affectionate?

Well, it depends what "affectionate" means in this context, but probably Tendou. I've seen that man, he's basically a Wakatoshi cheer squad even when he's one of the best players in the prefecture himself 😭

2. Big spoon / little spoon?

I think most often tendou big spoon and Ushijima little spoon, I can see Ushijima rly wanting all the affection and tendou's rly happy to give it :)

3. Most common argument?

Who's sending the next care package. They live on different continents and they LOVE sending each other stuff but they can never remember who was meant to do what. Also, what time the facetime call was scheduled at. Time zones, my dude.

4. Favourite non-sexual activity?

They are 100% a picnic, flower picking, and orchard visiting couple. They do it whenever they can, just go find a random plant and yank it around until they have what they want, whether it's because it's pretty or because it's a good ingredient. It's good bonding.

5. Who is most likely to carry the other?

There is no way Tendou's bony chocolate-making ass can still get anywhere near lifting professional athlete Ushijima, but he probably could do it when they were both teenagers, though only to shock Ushi :'). Nowadays, it's obviously Ushijima who does the lifting, plus doesn't Tendou just seem like the kind of guy who demands piggy backs???

6. What is their favourite feature of their partner's?

Eyes. See my first OTP ask :D

7. What's the first thing that changes when they realise they have feelings for each other?

Ushijima prolly starts talking about Tendou. A lot (by Ushi standards). To everyone who stands still for long enough. I can just imagine it.... Anyways, yeah, I think Ushijima would be a lot more obvious, affectionate, and would suddenly compliment Tendou's blocking out of nowhere T-T

8. Nicknames? & If so, where did they originate?

Tendou calls him ushy gushy because he thinks it's funny, and Ushijima just rolls with it 😂

9. Who worries the most?

Tendou, hands down. Ushijima has no worries, he goes with the flow. Tendou stresses about pretty much everything to some degree, and sometimes he can even infect the worry into Ushijima so they're both worrying about it 💀💀

10. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

They prolly both do this, but it seems like an Ushijima thing. He probably has a corner of his brain with "tendou" written across it and decorated with those awful little adhesive gems that get EVERYWHERE as soon as you start using them, and in that corner he keeps everything that tendou ever said or did in case it comes up again some day

11. Who tops?

At this point leave me alone, I don't wanna think abt that!!! Although logistically, Ushijima, right?

12. Who initiates kisses?

100% Tendou, but Ushijima does this thing where he taps his lips to signal he wants a kiss, and tendou RUNS over

13. Who reaches for the other's hand first?

Ushijima. Next question

14. Who kisses the hardest?

Depends on the context? It's whoever's *not* about to get in the plane, any other context I have no clue (is this what y'all think about?!)

15. Who wakes up first?

Ushijima. He's a famer, those knuckleheads are up at 4am on a lazy day

16. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Tendou, but tbh chocolatiers are up pretty early so he knows he can’t. Life is pain.

17. Who says I love you first?

Ushijima. He seems like the type to just say it at some random time because it’s what he was thinking about. Although, is he aware enough of the feeling to know it’s love? If not, then obviously Tendou.

18. Who leaves little notes in the other one’s lunch?

Tendou, though it’s usually just an encouragement like ‘work hard today’. Sometime he’ll put in a pun just to annoy Ushijima.

19. Who tells their family/friends about the relationship first?

This one is hard because I don’t know anything about Tendou’s family, Ushijima’s is a bit of a mess, and they share the same friendgroup. I think Tendou would probably get excited and talk about it with all the friends though, so I’ll say Tendou.

20. What do their family/friends think of the relationship?

I’d love to put something like ‘about time’ but in reality it’s more like ‘really? him?’ from both sides

21. Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

Tendou. Man’s French, leave him alone

22. Who cooks more/is better at cooking?

Tendou is the baker and Ushijima is the cook. If they try to leave their assigned skills, the kitchen will be a bit burnt by the end of it.

23. Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

Tendou, and Ushijima probably doesn’t understand them, so it’s more a crowd-pleaser thing to prove that yes, they are actually dating, thank you, Semi.

24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during innappropriate times?

...Tendou? Probably him, and it’s probably not anything too racy, it’s just jokes about the couple they’re having lunch with.

25. Who needs more assurance?

Probably Tendou. Ushijima has fans all over the world who thirst over him constantly on twitter dot com, so Tendou probably gets pretty insecure over the relationship. I don’t think Ushijima truly understands it since cheating literally never crosses his mind, it’s physically impossible, but he gives the assurance when he sees it’s needed.

26. What would be their theme song?

Ugh, I don’t even know, I don’t have an ushiten playlist so if I make one, I’ll edit this post and add it in T-T.

27. Who would sing their child back to sleep?

Does Ushijima even know that’s a thing that’s done? So yeah, Tendou. But I do know Ushijima would be the BEST father, he’d take his child out in fields and teach them loads of cool stuff,and tell stories about fairies....

28. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

They’re probably on the phone 24/7. The Adlers are probably in the habit of going ‘hi Ushijima, hi tendou’ because they KNOW Tendou can hear them. Semi calls Tendou and puts him on speakerphone in the crowd during volleyball games so Tendou can yell along with the crowd while he watches from France.

29. One headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

it’s not a headcanon, it’s true, but they’re the only people that seem to show the other one any kind of acceptance. Both of them have been outcasts their whole life and continue to be so, in a way, when they leave highschool and live apart. I realise that the relationship itself isn’t sad, but both of them are sad by themselves so I don’t need to make it worse :’(

30. One headcanon about this OTP that mends it

THEY LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE HOUSE AND TENDOU RUNS HIS BUSINESS FROM THERE AND THEY HAVE A KID CALLED MEGUMI WITH RED HAIR AND USHIJIMA’S EYES AND THEY PAINTED THE NURSERY TOGETHER AND TENDOU THREW PAINT ALL OVER USHIJIMA AND USHIJIMA LAUGHED AND NOW MEGUMI LIVES THERE AND THEY READ BOOKS TOGETHER EVERY NIGHT AND THEY PLAY VOLLEYBALL AFTER SCHOOL AND THEY HAVE AN APPLE TREE IN THE GARDEN

#ushiten #ushijima wakatoshi #astro's asks #tendou satori #THANKS FOR THE ASK

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dendroaspis-polylepis · 4 months

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Oath of Vengeance: Chapter 1

Howdy! This is Chapter 1 of my BG3 Astarion x Tav fic

Plucked from Wyrm's Crossing and dumped onto an abandoned beach in the middle of nowhere, Retribution somehow becomes the unwilling leader of a ragtag group of tadpole-infected strangers. She now has to battle not only a threat to Faerûn itself, but also help her new allies battle their personal demons. Retribution’s path to vengeance just got a whole lot longer.

Read it here on AO3

Chapter 2

The overgrown gate slowly lifted, a soft rain of dirt and dust falling from the vines that covered it as it rose. The loud groan it emitted drowned out the post-battle discussions happening behind her about who got what loot or if anyone required tending.

Looking around before she continued on, Retribution’s ruby eye swept over the steadily-increasing number of people who had decided to join her party of one. Her preferred traveling companions, Percy and Petunia, were nowhere to be seen after their abduction by mindflayers, and she was slowly growing more and more anxious the longer she went without finding the pair.

Instead, she found a talkative human wizard, a smug elf rogue, a battle-hungry githyanki fighter, and a tight-lipped half-elf cleric. Oh, and a walking corpse that was supposedly going to be meeting with her when they next set up camp.

If she was being completely honest with herself, she's had worse days.

After ensuring everyone made it through the goblin attack relatively unscathed, Retribution sidestepped a puddle of worg blood that was slowly spreading and walked into the grove proper, sweeping her black braid behind her as she went. As she crested a hill, Ret encountered a red-skinned tiefling and one of the humans from the gate caught in a heated argument.

“Are you an idiot in addition to a coward!? Not only did you lead a pack of goblins here, you lost Halsin!” the tiefling bellowed.

Stepping closer, the tanned human spat back, “Wouldn't'a been an issue if he could keep up with us! That camp was infested with the little shits. And who're you to be callin' me a coward? You slammed that gate shut an’ left us to die!” His finger jabbed into the tiefling’s breastplate.

“I wasn't about to let you lead those beasts straight into the grove, there are children here! Might I remind you that my duty is to this camp, not your failed mercenary band?” The tiefling's ire was quickly coming to a boil, prompting Retribution to step between the two.

Her resonant voice was stern, “Arguing won't solve anything, nor will it bring anyone back. You two are better off directing that anger towards something actually productive.”

Taking a moment to absorb her words, the tiefling stepped back, shaking his head before sighing, “…You're right, there's nothing to be gained from letting our emotions get in the way.”

The human was less receptive to her words. Rather than back away from her, he stepped around to get to the other tiefling again, his jaw clenched in focus. Or at least, he tried to step around her. Seeing what he was attempting to do, Ret grabbed him by the face and pushed him to the ground.

“Think with your brain, not with your pride, human,” she advised coldly.

Sneering, he tore his eyes away from the other tiefling to actually look at her. Taking in her eyepatch and surrounding scars, he stood back up and snarked, “Did thinking with your brain cost you that eye? What about your horn? Matter of fact, looks like the entire left si-”

Snatching him by the front of his leather armor, Ret yanked him up to be eye level with her, bringing him a hair’s breadth from her face and leaving his feet to dangle several inches off the ground. Her voice was tempered, but held an unmistakable edge, “I like to think I’m a relatively level-headed woman, but I can say with certainty that my patience for today has run out. I am going to release you in a moment, and I suggest you practice thinking with your brain and leave. Quickly. Am I understood?”

Apparently being flush with Retribution's immense frame sparked the intelligent part of his brain into action, as he enthusiastically nodded. His curly hair bounced onto his forehead with the force of it.

“Good.” She released his armor, watching him stumble as his feet made contact with the ground once more, “Now fuck off.”

And off he fucked, along with the other human and half-elf he travelled with. Ret's eye bored into the back of his head as he left, wishing her glare alone could cause him to wither away.

Her lack of a left eye was something of a sore spot currently. At least, more than it was normally. It’s absence meant she had spent the last two days focusing more on her positioning in fights than actually landing blows. Percy always fought to her left, covering her blind side and giving her room to put some real muscle into her swings, while Petunia herded enemies and took out stragglers. Much to Ret's frustrations, none of the fools currently following her around were her fools. This left her with the exhausting task of actually watching where she was swinging, lest she behead one of them on accident. Maybe she could spend some time tonight deciding who would be best to approach about fighting in her blind spot. At least until she found Percy and Petunia, again.

“I apologize for Aradin’s behavior, he's far too confident for someone with so few skills. I am Zevlor, leader of the tiefling caravan currently staying in the grove,” he extended his hand.

“Retribution. A pleasure,” she returned the gesture, catching her companions approaching out of the corner of her eye.

“Thank you for your help out there.” His brows furrow as he continues, “Though I should warn you, this grove will be closed to outsiders soon enough, so gather what supplies you need quickly.”

“We don't need much, some tieflings by the beach mentioned a healer here. Would you be able to point us in the right direction?”

Zevlor huffed, “Unfortunately, those mercenaries you saved lost the First Druid, Halsin. He was the grove's primary healer. His apprentice, Nettie, should be able to patch you up well enough. She can be found in the grove's inner sanctum, though some of the more fanatical druids may not take kindly to a tiefling walking around in their sacred pool.” His voice took on a mocking tone at the end of his sentence, clearly having interacted with said fanatics before.

“I think I can handle myself well enough, but I appreciate the concern. If that's all, we'll be on our way,” before she could turn to leave, Zevlor placed a hand on her arm, halting her.

“I... I hate to ask this of you after saving us once already, but if you happen to see Kagha, their new First Druid, could you try to persuade her to halt her ritual? Even for a few more days? Anything would help, and she technically owes you now that you've protected her grove.” His words were hopeful, begging for a sliver of salvation.

Retribution recognizes the pleading look in his eyes, having seen it directed at her from countless others during her travels. People would see her paladin's garb and expect her to drop everything to assist someone in need. Her assistance almost always correlated to how much gold they appeared to be carrying. Though luckily for Zevlor, she made an exception for tieflings occasionally.

“I make no promises, but I'll see what I can do.”

Satisfied with her answer, Zevlor let her head further into the grove, companions in tow.

Everyone split off at this point, agreeing to meet at the gate in a few hours.

Gale wanted to speak with Arron, the grove's general merchant, to barter with some of the spoils collected during their previous days of travel. Food was running low, and he hoped to bolster their supplies for the foreseeable future.

Shadowheart sought the blacksmith, needing to either repair or replace her shield that sustained enough acid damage to put a sizeable hole in the wood.

Lae'zel went to hunt down and interrogate Zorru, a tiefling that had supposedly seen other gith in the area.

And Astarion's only plan was apparently to trail behind Retribution, gossiping about everyone they passed. He seemed to always have a flirty line prepared for each of his new companions, and now was no exception.

“I couldn't help but notice you rag dolling that little human around at the gate,” stroking his hand up and down the intricate plate armor that protected her bicep as they walked, he lowered his voice so as to only be audible to her. “There are plenty of people in Baldur's Gate who would pay damn good money for such a strong, capable woman to do that to them. Myself included, if I'm honest.” Angling his head towards hers, he looked up at her through thick lashes.

“Piss me off enough and I'll do it for free,” breaking eye contact, she looked ahead, keeping the pair on track to the inner sanctum. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t find him attractive, or that his little teases didn’t cause her stomach to flutter the tiniest bit. However, she had been on a mission to find a healer for the past few days to help with their current tadpole issue, and she wouldn’t be distracted when she was so close.

Deflating slightly, he grumbled, “That's not exactly how I was hoping to get you riled up, but to each their own, I suppose.” His eyes narrowed as the pair continued on, “Are you not interested in men, then? Is that it? You certainly wouldn’t be the first who was immune to my charms, though you would be the most remarkable.”

Without warning, he yanked Retribution into a small rocky alcove off the path by her belt, away from prying eyes as he placed his body in front of the entrance, trapping her. Grasping a vine in the stonework, Astarion pulled himself up to be eye-level with her as he threw his legs around her waist, ankles crossing behind her. His free hand came to her throat, trailing his fingers along the sliver of delicate skin exposed. He had her in a remarkably similar stance to how she held Aradin earlier.

Unlike earlier, however, Retribution held none of the power in this situation. Yes, she was more than strong enough to push him away, but she was of two minds. On one hand, how long had it been since she'd allowed herself to just let go and indulge? On the other, she had a job to do, and she didn’t entirely trust his motives.

Not knowing what to do with her hands, one gripped the stone behind her like a lifeline, the other rested feather-light on his waist.

“No no, it’s not that, you're quite beautiful, it's just-”

“You think I’m beautiful?” His smile spread, crinkling the corners of his eyes with how broadly it stretched, revealing remarkably sharp canines for an elf. Astarion pressed his chest into her, dipping his fingers into the narrow gap between her gorget and neck as he pulled her face closer. The cross-guard of her flaming greatsword dug into her back, though her thoughts were far too unfocused currently to care.

She could feel warmth spreading up her neck onto her cheeks, and cursed her bone-white skin, as it left nothing to hide. As her blush crept up her face, Astarion only grew more smug, half-lidded eyes practically undressing her. Leaning in until his lips brushed hers, she was enveloped in his perfume: citrussy and intoxicating.

This was going horribly, horribly wrong. Her usual calm, stoic demeanor was completely shattered by some pretty fop she found on the side of the road, batting his eyelashes and showing her the most attention she's received in a decade.

Gods, had it really been that long since she laid with someone?

Focus, Ret, focus.

“No. Wait- yes, you are beautiful, but I- we should be focusing more on getting these tadpoles out of our heads, and not-” Retribution's verbal stumbling was mercifully cut short as a deep, thunderous roar tore through their little moment, thrusting the pair back to their current mission. Rather than look frightened at the sudden bellow, Astarion appeared more annoyed than anything.

Leaving their little hideaway, the pair eventually made it to the top steps to the sacred pool, where a large bear was swiping and shouting at a crowd of gathered tieflings. From what fragments Ret could gather over the cacophony, a child had been kidnapped by the druids, and was being held in the inner sanctum.

When the bear's swats started getting more erratic, the crowd dispersed, not wanting to catch a stray claw in their flesh. Having no such concerns, Retribution stepped passed the bear and pair of druids. As she passed, one of the druids, a dark-skinned elf stepped into her path at the same time she heard the bear lumber to her left, a challenging rumble emanating from it.

Falling back into her comfortable role of an indomitable wall, Retribution sneered. “I defend your grove and this is the thanks I get? I'll go where I please.” The druid’s brow twitched at the realization that Retribution wouldn't be bullied into compliance. “Just point me in the direction of Nettie and I’ll be on my way.”

The smaller of the two druids, a ruddy gnome, raised his hand in an attempt to get Ret's attention, “Actually, First Druid Kagha would like to speak with you, if you would be so kind.” He gestured to a large stone door that led into the hill they stood on when they first arrived.

“Does that lead to the inner sanctum?” Retribution asked, to which he nodded in the affirmative.

Giving an appreciative head tilt to the gnome, Ret walked between the two druids, missing Astarion's flippant smirk and wave to the taller of the pair as he passed.

Making their way down mossy, uneven stairs leading deeper into the hillside, Ret heard a child's sobbing. As she reached the bottom of the stairs, a small tiefling came into view. Surrounding her was a human with dark, rich skin and a bronzy elf. Ret saw the horror on the human's face as he argued with the elf whose back was to the pair.

“Kagha, this is madness! She's a child, for Silvanus' sake!” the human defended, his eyes flicking to Retribution, shooting her a pleading glance.

Kagha's, ears perked, “She is not a child, she's a hellspawn. Not only that, she's a thief: stealing our holy idols, siphoning our resources, desecrating our sacred grove, the list goes on!” Her voice was icy. Noticing the human's gaze, she followed it behind her to do a double-take at the pair who just arrived, eyes narrowing as she took in the horn and tail of one of the interlopers. Huffing, she complained, “I thought I told Jeorna to keep the other hellspawns OUT of the inner sanctum. Who in the hells are you?”

This time, Retribution didn't miss Astarion's growing smirk as his eyes bounced back and forth between Ret and Kagha, eager to see how this played out.

Approaching the trio, Ret schooled her expression into a steely mask; it wouldn’t do to allow the druid’s ignorance to cloud her judgement. “I'm the hellspawn who saved your sorry excuse of a grove. Are you really so weak as to be threatened by a child?” It's no wonder Zevlor was so intent on imploring her help when the First Druid was attempting to imprison a youngling, and seemed to have a qualm with tieflings, specifically. The youngling in question slowly started shuffling her way to Retribution once the attention of the two druids was off her.

“This child,” she spat the word like it was bitter on her tongue, “stole our most holy artifact after we have been nothing but accommodating to her people as they parasitize us. I am simply carrying out my duties as First Druid and removing these parasites,” her scowl only deepened as she noticed the child slinked her way to the opposite side of Retribution from her.

Looking down at the tiefling now clutching at the belt that secured her various pouches and satchels, Retribution gestured to the stairs her and Astarion came down as she suggested, “Go. And don't make me regret this.”

The girl nodded gratefully before turning and bolting up the stairs, stumbling as she went. Rath heaved a sigh of relief.

Turning back to the druids, Ret's eye met Kagha once again. She was about to insult the woman further, but Astarion beat her to it.

“My my, you’ve certainly been busy as First Druid!” Holding up his hand, he counted each of her 'accomplishments', “Having your protection outsourced to a random group of adventurers, letting your ‘most holy artifact’ get swiped by a child, attempting to imprison said child, failing to imprison said child. It’s a miracle anyone here is still alive!” He punctuated his sentence with an airy laugh.

Kagha’s hands clenched at his mocking words, and she closed her eyes to take several steadying breaths. “Enough. I did not ask you here to exchange barbs. I wished to ask for your assistance, and it seems as though you’re already more than willing. I want these refugees gone by any means necessary. If you need to speak with Zevlor to decide on the best course of action, then so be it, but I want every tiefling gone from my grove in one week.” She shot Retribution a threatening look, clearly including her in the 'every tiefling' stipulation. Her words were strained, as though remaining calm was causing her physical pain. Or maybe it was asking a tiefling for help. Either way, Ret didn’t miss the way a vein in her forehead throbbed with restraint.

She gave Kagha the same response she gave Zevlor, “Very well. I'll certainly try, though no guarantees.” Any kind of promise, oath, or vow was dangerous, and not something Retribution handed out to any random stranger. “If we're done here, I'm looking for Nettie.”

“She's through there,” Rath offered, pointing to a large stone doorway hewn from the cave walls. “Thank you, by the way,” he whispered as she passed.

Eager to be rid of her tadpole, Ret nodded in acknowledgement before making her way through the arch into another chamber, this one smaller than the last. A gold dwarf with elaborate, geometric tattoos tended to an exhausted blue bird atop one of the stone tables.

The gold dwarf muttered quietly to herself, oblivious to Retribution's arrival. Not wanting to interrupt what was apparently a very intensive procedure, Ret busied herself by looking around.

There were a number of beds strewn about, as well as an elaborate alchemy setup. The seemingly-perpetual mud of the previous room gave way to packed soil and grass mats, and large stone statues of various animals almost appeared to follow her with their glowing eyes. Giving the room a quick once-over, she realized Astarion hadn't actually followed her in. Must've wandered off.

“Vis medicatrix... There we go, that oughta get you right as rain. Now no more picking fights with goblins, you hear?” the dwarf chastised. “Oh! Sorry, didn't hear ya come in. The name's Nettie. And you are...?” Nettie held her hand out for Retribution to shake, forcing the tiefling to stoop uncomfortably to return the gesture.

“Retribution. I have a... condition I'd like assistance with, if you're capable?” Her words were tinged with hesitancy. Being infected with a mindflayer tadpole wasn't something she wanted to be shouting from the mountaintops, after all.

Sensing her reluctance, Nettie reassured, “I'm no Master Halsin, but I'm sure I can help with whatever ails you. Come here, let me get a look at you.” Retribution kneeled before her, unable to hide a wince when the pose caused a jolt of pain to shoot up from her left knee.

Taking Ret's face in her hands, Nettie studied her. Ret watched as her brows furrowed in concentration, taking in every scar and wrinkle that marked her face. Placing a thumb under her good eye and pulling the skin downward, the healer gave her verdict, “Well, you look exhausted, but I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that. Is there something specific I can help with?” Nettie released her face, giving her a moment to right herself fully.

“I've been infected with a mindflayer tadpole.” There. It was out. Now to see what —if anything— Nettie could do.

The shock on her face was plain as day, though she tried to hide it quickly. “That's... serious,” her eyes flicked to the open archway behind Ret. “Follow me, there might be something I can do.”

Retribution followed as Nettie led her to a stone wall. As she approached, a spark of magic glimmered along her headband and the wall revealed itself to be another doorway. Holding a hand out, Nettie invited, “After you.”

Entering, Retribution's eye was immediately drawn to the drow corpse sprawled on a raised table. Broken arrow shafts poked out of his chest, and five evenly-spaced slashes slit from throat to clavicle.

“Ah, sorry. That one had a tadpole same as you. Nearly killed Master Halsin and I a few days ago with a pack of goblins. After Halsin got him, the tadpole wriggled out of his skull.”

Well that didn't bode well.

“Is there a less… dire cure?”

Rather than respond, Nettie fiddled with a few of the jars situated on a nearby desk. Over her shoulder, Ret observed her carefully applying a viscous liquid to a branch. Turning around, her face appeared hopeful, but the tight way she held her eyes suggested otherwise.

“How'd this happen in the first place? People don't just go getting infected willy-nilly.” Nettie craned her neck to look at Ret with genuine interest.

No sense in lying now, she already knew about the tadpole. “I was kidnapped by a mindflayer ship in Rivington and infected while onboard.”

Nettie's eyebrows rose, pacing as she tapped a finger to her chin, “I suppose a mindflayer ship would explain the sudden uptick in cases... Any symptoms?”

“I've been involuntarily melding minds with other infected I come across. We catch glimpses into each other's thoughts and memories. It's quite painful in the moment, though it subsides quickly.” Ret tried to be as descriptive as she could. Maybe a certain detail could help jog Nettie's mind for a less fatal remedy.

The druid looked down at the branch she'd been clutching at her side, then back up to Ret. “It's a shame you got me instead of Master Halsin. The reason he was even with those mercenaries was to try and get to the bottom of all these little brain worms.” Her voice was somber, “Look, you've been honest with me, so I'll be honest with you: I don't have a cure, but I do have a way out.”

Flicking her chin towards the branch, Ret questioned, “So what's that all about, then?”

Nettie winced, looking down “A backup plan in case I couldn't trust you.” Sensing Retribution's dissatisfaction, Nettie pushed onwards, “But I feel like I can.” Returning the branch to her desk, her eyes swept over the cluttered surface and plucked a small vial wrapped in red thread. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders, “Okay, more honesty time. You're dangerous. I'm sure you're well aware of the fact you could transform at any moment, killing everyone here, but I want to give you a chance to save yourself. This -” she raises the vial, “- is a jar of wyvern poison. Swear to me that you'll drink it the moment you start feeling yourself transform.”

Retribution's stomach plummeted. Not only was Nettie unable to do anything, but at some point she had sealed the stone door behind her, trapping Retribution. She had to get out of here. “Fine. Give me the poison.” Reaching for the vial, Ret wasn't expecting the dwarf to pull back.

“No. Promise me,” Nettie's voice was stern. This wasn't something she would be compromising on.

“NO.” Retribution refused. She had to find some way to remove this brainworm, but death wasn't an option.

“Then you've given me no choice. I'm truly sorry.” With that, Nettie ran to the opposite side of the table, seeking cover as she cast a spell.

Drawing her greatsword, Retribution panicked. This wasn't how she was hoping any of this would go. She didn't want to kill the woman, but she also knew the druid wouldn't let her go freely without a promise. Ret was wise enough to know if a tiefling killed their new primary healer, the refugees currently sheltering here were doomed. Maybe there was another option.

Charging at the woman, Retribution felt as the flames from her weapon's blade seemed to suddenly flow towards the hilt, searing her palms through her gauntlets. Her natural fire resistance helped somewhat, but she knew she'd have some decent burns until she could take time to heal herself. Raising her sword, Ret brought the hilt down precisely onto Nettie's temple. Instantly, Nettie crumpled to the ground, and the heat from Ret’s handle receded. Securing her blade, she knelt to inspect the druid. She was still alive, just unconscious.

Tearing a page from one of the notebooks scattered atop the desk, Retribution hastily scrawled an apology before placing it on Nettie's chest. Hopefully she'd accept it. Now to get out of here... Ret carefully removed Nettie's circlet and inspected it, remembering the glitter that accompanied the door opening the first time. She didn't expect a button anywhere to activate the magic, but it would've made things far simpler. Placing it atop her own brows, Ret failed to inspire it to action. Gods, she wished Percy were here; her little sorcerer would've had this trinket figured out in no time. Or at the very least had a fireball prepared to hurl at the door.

Removing the woven circlet, she tried everything from shouting at it to chucking it at the door. This, somehow, worked, as the moment the band clinked off the stone, the door grinded open slowly.

Ret immediately began moving, wanting to make as swift an exit as possible. Re-entering the sanctum's main room, her eye darted around, looking for Astarion so the pair could leave already. He was casually leaning against one of the many stone statues, absentmindedly cleaning under his nails with a dagger. Catching her in his periphery, his head lifted and he greeted her with a seductive smile. Absorbing her wide eye and flicking tail, he raised a single eyebrow.

Her voice was hushed and strained, “We need to leave. Now.”

Following the hulking woman on her right, the pair made their way up the stairs.

“Are you going to tell me what has you in a tizzy, or am I supposed to guess?” He matched her hiss.

“Not here. I'll tell you when we're out of the grove.”

The sunlight blinded the pair as they left the dark cavern of the inner sanctum, and Retribution almost missed Astarion's flinch at the light. When they got about halfway up the steps leaving the sacred pool, Ret froze as a pair of small arms wrapped around her hips. Turning, she met the eyes of the tiefling child Kagha wanted to imprison.

“I take it you're the hero who saved our little girl?” A pink tiefling with hair that matched the child beamed.

Gods, this really wasn't the time. Retribution wasted enough time with that stupid fucking circlet that it was a miracle Nettie didn't wake up and force Ret to kill her outright.

“Uhm, I suppose so.” She slowly shuffled out of the child's grasp, patting her head awkwardly.

Not sensing her urgency, or perhaps not wanting to appear ungrateful, the woman took Ret's hand and introduced herself and her husband as Komira and Locke, respectively. “We can't express our gratitude, who knows what those monsters would've done to Arabella if you hadn't stepped in!”

Astarion felt something flick across his left calf, and caught the swoosh of Retribution's normally stationary tail as it swiped again in distress. This could be fun. He rested his head against her shoulder and brought his right hand to her cuirass, fingers following the decorative contours. His left came up behind Ret to gently take hold of her raven braid and wrap it around his hand once. Not pulling, merely giving the suggestion that he could.

“I hate to be impolite, but we were actually on our way somewhere a bit more private so I could make an offering to Sharess at the altar of our courageous hero, if you catch my meaning?” Waggling his eyebrows suggestively, there was no way these two could misinterpreted him. “Retribution's such a vision that I can't help but worship her.” Every tiefling present - save the child, who was blessedly oblivious - sported a flush of color to their cheeks and ears at his seduction.

Locke was the first to recover, “Oh- yes, of course, our apologies!” He sputtered.

Komira was second, “But please, taste- take this as a token of our thanks before you, uh, go.” She fumbled with a pouch at her hip before producing a locket with a delicate, glimmering pendant.

Astarion accepted the necklace with a polite smile. “Well, if that's everything, I do believe we'll be off! Come along, darling, I've a need to genuflect before my dashing knight,” he husked. Retribution allowed Astarion to lead her away by the hand, giving a quick wave behind in farewell.

Ret had never been more relieved to see her other companions gathered near the gate. Each of them took in the pair's appearances -Astarion's smug confidence, and Retribution's subtle blush- with mixed reactions.

The corners of Shadowheart's lips curled, and her brows quirked in amusement. The tips of Gale's ears took on the barest hint of pink as his lips pursed. Lae'zel gave an exasperated “Chk” and stomped towards the gate.

Gale approached the pair, clearing his throat, “Retribution, I hope you don't mind, this is Wyll! I’ve invited him to join us at camp,” he gestured to a young, human man with several deep scars that framed his face. Interestingly, he was also missing an eye. Where Ret kept an eyepatch over her left eye, Wyll instead had a stone likeness seated into his right socket. Lowering his voice, he clarified, “He's also been infected, so it seemed only natural.”

Wyll stepped to the wizard's left and bowed before her, “Wyll, Blade of Frontiers, at your service,” he declared with pride.

Ret felt Astarion stiffen beside her. Worried he sensed danger she hadn't yet, she urged her group from the grove as she spoke. “Retribution. Let's continue this conversation on the road, yeah? Sun's setting, and I'm hoping to set up camp while there's still daylight.”

Lae'zel was already several paces past the gate, prompting everyone to get moving to catch up with her. Ret began walking, but the hand holding hers followed at a snail's pace. She was absolutely mortified to realize that she never actually let go of Astarion. Looking back, his face was contorted. Silver brows creased together in anxiety as he looked on.

“Are you alright?” She asked as she wriggled her hand out of his grasp. His expression flashed from anxious to disappointed before smoothing out.

“Oh I'm fine, just thinking about how much safer I feel with the famed 'Blade of Frontiers' guarding us now.” He didn't bother trying to mask his sarcasm as he matched Ret's speed. The pair were still trailing behind everyone else, out of earshot but within eyesight.

“Do people actually call him that? He seems so young to have a moniker.” Retribution had one of her own, not that she would ever go around telling people. That was a part of her life she hoped to leave back in the Underdark. She also probably had seven decades on the human, making his title all the more incredulous.

“Yes, actually. He's made quite the name for himself along the Sword Coast as a monster hunter." Disdain tinges his words.

“I take it you're not a fan?”

“Not particularly, no. You know those hero types: always strutting about like peacocks.” Remembering his earlier lauding with Arabella's parents, he amended, “Not you, though. I quite like your strut.”

“I do not strut,” Retribution frowned.

Humming, Astarion thought for a moment. “I suppose you don't exactly strut, do you? I suppose it's closer to a swagger, now that I think on it; you actually have the muscle to back it up, after all.”

Side-eyeing him, she begrudgingly accepted the description. “Thank you, by the way. With the girl's parents.” She specified, when he gave a puzzled look. “It’s not quite how I would’ve gone about it, but it was… effective, to say the least.”

Waving a hand, he accepted her thanks, “Of course, think nothing of it. Though now that we're out of the grove, I think it's about time you told me what you got up to in there that had you so frazzled.”

“I knocked out the healer we were supposed to meet with.”

Astarion's brows quirked, “And you didn't invite me? How could you!” He teased.

“You wandered off!” She huffed, “Not like she would've been able to help us anyway. Apparently their missing First Druid, Halsin, knows more about these tadpoles than she does.”

“I wouldn't be so quick to write them off, my dear. They have their perks,” he muttered.

“Such as...?” Ret began, encouraging him to elaborate.

Waving her question off, he redirected, “Look, while you were attacking innocent druids, I was gathering valuable information.” He proudly produced a folded paper and, with a flourish, delivered it into Retribution's gauntleted hands. “This came from your favorite druid’s personal trunk.”

Ignoring the fact that Astarion just admitted to rifling through what was essentially someone’s underwear drawer, Ret opened the parchment. It was simple and short, giving vague instructions to meet at a tree by swamp docks alone. Retribution knew based on a map she pilfered from the abandoned temple that there was a sizeable swamp to the south west.

“Hm. Well this isn’t suspicious at all.” Handing the note back, Retribution didn’t bother trying to hide her smile. It wasn’t that she was hoping the new First Druid was getting up to shady business, but if that shady business meant Ret had a real reason to enact vengeance beyond being a bitch, she’d take it.

“Isn’t it? I was hoping you might find that interesting,” he threw a coy glance up at her. “As loathe as I am to go traipsing into a swamp of all places, I think it might be worth it if it means I get to see you lop her head off.”

“Is that why you gave me this, then? You just want me to kill her?” Her voice dropped, almost sounding sad.

“Not entirely. Though I’ll never tire of seeing you covered in blood. So long as it’s not mine, of course,” he tacked on, gesturing to her full plate that was still covered in a thin layer of goblin grime. “I didn’t particularly care for how she spoke to you, either, and you strike me as more of a ‘let me fight my own battles’ sort of woman.”

“You would be correct. Thank you for finding this for me, then, as well. I only apologize I don’t have anything to offer in return.”

“I could think of a few things…” His eyes raked over her suggestively. “Though for now your presence is more than enough. Come along, now, we should catch up with everyone before the wizard finds another stray.”

#astarion x tav #astarion fanfic #bg3 fanfic #Tav: Retribution

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colmathgames2 · 2 years

Text

Purple- Chapter 2

Summary: Carter with the League. The Escape.

Warnings: blood, sickness, throwing up, child abuse, restraints, violence, guns, men being gross- PLEASE let me know if I missed anything

Words: 1206

Carter sighed, dropping the recording device onto her mattress. When she agreed to do these recordings, she really hadn’t thought she’d be this close to crying on her first try.

She did a few of the breathing exercises Chubs had taught her the first time he had seen her have a panic attack, and managed to calm down enough to register that she had most definitely missed dinner, and the rest of her team was probably going to be back soon. They had probably heard by now that she had an OP tomorrow, and that she was the only one on Beta team assigned to it. Considering not one of the other Beta kids had shown anything but hostility towards her in the 6 months since she had arrived, they were probably less than happy about that.

For Carter, that meant another night of sleeping on a couch in the Atrium to avoid having to sleep with one eye open.

Wonderful.

###

Carter O’Daniel:

↳Audio Logs:

↳Solitary Log 2:

↳Written Translation

Um, I ended the last recording talking about Thurmond, so I figured it might be good to talk about how I got out. We leave for an OP in 2 hours, but I think that’s enough time.

I didn’t try to keep track of the days while I was in Thurmond, so I’m still not sure how long I was there before I caught the infection. It had to have been a few months at least, because at some point it got so warm that one of the girls in my cabin got heatstroke, and had to go to the infirmary. She never came back.

So, I guess I probably got sick sometime during the summer, and that was when they moved all the other Reds to god knows where. I guess I was too sick to be transported out with the others, or maybe they thought whatever I had was contagious. I dunno. But whatever it was, it probably saved my life.

I fell asleep one day, and woke up to the all too familiar feeling of being restrained. When I opened my eyes, there was a group of 3 PSF’s surrounding me.

“Dammit Kessler, it’s awake!”

I was greeted withthe but of a gun to my face, and a subsequent broken nose. I still have the scar to prove it.

“There. Bitch won’t be a problem if she can’t think straight.”

“Don’t do too much damage, Jones. We don’t get our bonus if she’s brain-dead.”

Everything starts to get a little fuzzy after that, probably because I still had a crazy high fever, and because, you know, I had just been hit in the face with a blunt metal object.

I know that at some point I realized I was no longer in the infirmary, and that wherever I was was very dark, and very small.

And I know that whoever decided these three PSF’s should be the ones to do this was very bad at their job, because these were the dumbest men I had ever seen in my life, and they were talking freely as they restrained me.

“We could also just dump her somewhere and collect. It’s not like they’re keeping track of the numbers.”

“Jesus Christ. How many times do I have to remind you that they are keeping track, and that it’s just not on record anywhere! And you can bet your ass that we’re not getting a bonus if we show up at the new camp without the one kid we were tasked with transporting.”

Two of the men left the room, leaving me alone with the final guard. He tightened the last of the restraints, and I whimpered involuntarily as I felt metal dig into my wrist.

The PSF smiled sadistically. “If you think this is bad, just wait until you get to your new home.”

He pulled something out of his pocket and held it up to the side of my face. “You’re going to wish I killed you,” he whispered, dragging the object from my temple down towards my jaw.

Then he left the room and slammed the door behind him, blanketing me in complete darkness.

It was only after the room I was in started to shake, after I realized it wasn’t a room that I was in at all but a van, after I felt my own blood drip onto my neck that I realized he had been holding a knife.

[silence]

I don’t know how long we had been driving when I finally realized that this was probably the only chance I was going to get to be free, ever.

I knew I owed it to myself to at least try to get out of that goddamn hellhole of a life. I think I might have cried at that point, just to get it all out. Just in case this escape attempt was the last thing I ever did. In case I didn’t make it out.

I didn’t want to admit to myself at the time, but the chances of that happening were pretty damn high. I had seen plenty of escape attempts in my time at Thurmond, and not one of them had ever been successful, so why should this attempt of mine be any different?

I suppose maybe I had a small advantage in the fact that I wasn’t technically in Thurmond anymore; I was in a creepy van speeding down the highway, alone, except for the men guarding me and their guns.

The PSF’s, for all their stupidity, had at least been smart enough to use metal restraints on me so I couldn’t melt through them with my abilities.

That was quite unfortunate for me though, seeing as I had to, you know, get out of them. I almost cried again at that point. I finally had the mental stability to try and do this and I’m stopped by the very first obstacle I encountered?

Pathetic.

Something snapped, and I felt a sharp tug in my gut for half a second, and then my wrists fell down to my sides, and the chains to the floor.

I wanted to question how the fuck that had happened, but there were much more pressing matters at hand at the moment. With my hands free, it was almost laughably simple to melt through the zip-ties that held my ankles to the ground.

I tried the door, but by then my luck had run out. It seemed that Dumb, Dumber, and Dip-shit had at least been smart enough to lock them. I grit my teeth in frustration before ramming my shoulder into the door multiple times.

That certainly wasn’t my best idea of the day, because the van came to a screeching halt just as I was going for a 6th hit, and threw me to ground- into the pile of chains that had previously been holding me.

In the next few seconds I heard the sound of car doors slamming, and then- the sound that sent my heart to the pit of my stomach- the rattling of chains I had to assume were holding the doors closed. The PSF’s angry muttering grew louder as my hopes of escape grew so much smaller.

#The Darkest Minds #Cole Stewart #Ruby Daly #Liam Stewart #Chubs #Zu #PSI

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deathly-sick-flowers · 1 year

Text

No Sugar Part Three

i was married once, for a month. we rented a small house boat and stayed on a lake for 4 nights. nasty water. a bacterial infection in her brain from some ameoba in the water. only 2 days after diagnosis her body gave up. it’s been 12 years. i don’t remember her fucking name. my wife. i can tell you how it feels to try DMT while on ketamine though. vices have been my safety net, i don’t care what happens to me. i’ve been alone for so long, some company is nice. they call me babe and tell me “love you”. so i’m in love with them, naturally. we’ve fucked four times at least tonight, none of us are sleeping they take turns on me and they do anything i ask. they aren’t very hot but the company is good. after i finish into their mouths i pour them some wine and offer them coke. they smoke cigarettes and use an old beer can as an ashtray. i think i saw it on tv so i asked if i could do a line off their ass, do you put it on their cheeks or the crack? probably the cheek i feel like i’d be straight up sniffing shit out of their asshole if i put a line on her crack. one of them has a pain kink and honestly that makes me uncomfortable. i don’t know i just don’t like putting her cigarette out on her stomach i get nothing from it. whatever, i don’t want the night to end. one of them told me that because i paid so much i’m able to fuck them both once a week. i was skeptical as hell when i walked them out the first time… hated to say goodbye. the absence all over again. but they came back, once a week. the third time we met up was just like the last two. a whole night of debauchery and lust. i really felt in love with these girls. i wanted to marry them. i want them to stay forever i want to do this every single night. can i marry two whores? who is in charge of marriage? is that a priest or some guy behind a desk downtown? what’s the law on that? do i have to say i’m mormon? how would that be proven? i’m thinking about spending the rest of my life with these dark web hookers when someone bangs on my front door. “RUTH. I KNOW YOURE IN THERE. I FOLLOWED BOTH OF YOU I KNOW YOURE IN THERE” we all stopped and looked at the door which was shaking. he kept trying to open it and slamming his shoulder into the door. he sounded pissed, and it made me feel another thing: fear. “YOUR CAR IS HERE YOU CHEATING BITCH. OPEN THE FUCK UP I JUST WANT TO TALK”

“it’s eddy” whore #1 said to ruth. now i know whore #2’s name.

“what the fuck is happening?” i asked two whores in my house. they got up and started scrambling for their stuff. not paying me any mind. they both ran to the back door to leave and i’m left in my living room, 3 lines of coke racked up on a broken mirror from my bathroom. the banging had stopped and i realized he might be checking the windows. all of them are covered by blinds anyway, i hate the sun. without thinking, i railed all 3 lines in one go and dumped a small pile from the baggie right onto my tongue. i figured it would work like gumming, but extreme. instead there was vomit, slightly pink. what a waste. i hadnt heard anything so i grabbed a beer from the fridge and looked out my kitchen window. was not sure what i was expecting to see but the second i cracked the blinds i found myself staring into the eyes of another man just outside my window. in a flash his eyes were gone and replaced with a rock that smashed through the pane. i tried to move but it was so fast it clipped my nose hard and broke it. i hit my head on the counter and fell onto the floor with the broken glass. i held my nose and winced, i got beer all over my legs and glass in my skin. the blood on my hands made me remember my mortality. i checked the window and it was open, i used the counter to pull myself up and was face to face with the man who was at my door.

“have you been fucking my wife?”

was the only thing he said to me. i stared at him, confused. he looked around my dirty house and scoffed. he reached into his jacket to pull out his gun. he cocked it and pointed it at my forehead. i stared at him. “what?” i said to the third stranger in my home.

he pulled the trigger and everything slowed down. Evelyn, i remembered. her name was Evelyn. i remembered my wife’s name.

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schlongus-journey · 1 year

Text

Surgery - day 1

Before surgery, I had to get medical clearance (requiring bloodwork and an EKG) from my primary care doctor. As well, I had to get a COVID test 72 hours beforehand since it would be 6 days of in-patient stay at the hospital.

I was not allowed to take NSAIDs like ibuprofen for 2 weeks before surgery. No eating or drinking after midnight the night before, no lotion or deodorant after my last shower, and no jewelry.. I was also supposed to stick a scopolamine patch behind my right ear to help with nausea after surgery.

I woke up at 4 AM on Nov 14th, unfortunately dizzy as fuck because of the scopolamine (and what I presume were the interactions with my other meds). I arrived at the hospital at 5:15 AM for the 7:30 AM surgery as directed. After checking in, they took me to a pre-op room for me and my husband (we'll call him J) to wait in. I kept saying "Are you excited?" to him over and over. "Not as excited as you are," he replied. I wiped myself down with disposable sponges, brushed my teeth with mouthwash, cleaned my nose with disinfectant, then put my hospital gown and little grippy socks on. They stuck an IV in me (I hate IVs). The nurse saw fit to tell me it was a "huge needle" before sticking it in, which I was not very happy about.

After much waiting and being introduced to the surgical team one-by-one, I said goodbye to J and my gurney was wheeled to the operating room (whee!). The operating room was full of people, who all were very excited to see me. There was a very positive energy in the room, and they were making quips and jokes. I remember Dr. Keith laughing and saying something about how warmth helps stave off infection while I slid over to the actual operating table and they draped a heated blanket over me. The anaesthesia started flowing, and the last thing I recall is Dr. Keith drawing some sort of symbol on my right knee in green marker (at the time it looked like "Hi :)" which confused the heck out of me, but post-op it just looked like some sort of asterisk). Then I took a nice 20 minute (read: 7 hour) nap.

Around 2 PM or 3, I woke up in a different room, where I would stay until Saturday. Everything hurt. Everything hurt a goddamn lot. My groin hurt. My legs hurt - especially the right one. My head hurt from the scopolamine, my stomach hurt from hunger and thirst. My mouth and throat hurt from the (aforementioned) warmth because the heater was on blast and I was covered in what they called a "bear hugger" blanket, a puffy thing inflated with hot air. I told the nurses that my pain was around a 6, but looking back and using the described pain scale as reference, I was really around a 9. I was exhausted, but it was hard to sleep because of the pain.

There was a huge black thing on my right thigh attached to a tube and giving my leg a very tight, prickly, suction hug. That was my wound vac, which sucked away the goop from my flayed thigh - I could see the viscera peeking out from around the foam's edges. I had three drains attached to little pumps - two on the right, one on the left. There were two pulse oximeter patches leading to a monitor, one from my left middle finger and one from my penis. Two massage wraps were hooked up and wrapped around my calves that took turns squeezing them to keep blood circulating (this was not as nice as it sounds). I still had my IV in. And of course, I had my fucking foley catheter stuck in my urethra. That totalled to 10 wires and tubes tangling me up (if I'm not forgetting any). My friend called me spaghetti.

Other things:

I was not permitted to sit up, or even recline. My head was only allowed to incline 10 degrees. Dr. Keith told me all this in the consult, but I was not anticipating how hellish it would feel to be flat on my back with no ability to even sleep on my side for 6 straight days.

When I looked down, my new phallus was hilariously huge and swollen, looking less like a penis and more like a tube of flesh (which, to be fair, Dr. Keith did warn me about). My brain couldn't decide if this was euphoric or dysphoric and decided to settle on "alien".

I called J and told him my surgery was over. He drove over and brought me snacks. I ate two chocolate chip cookies and then was chastised by the nurses for eating, because I wasn't supposed to eat or drink (not even water) in case I needed to go back to the OR. I was so frustrated that I cried.

I knew from my hysterectomy earlier this year that 5 mg of oxycodone does not affect my pain levels in a significant way, but they had a stronger opiate called dilaudid that was administered through my IV, which helped a bunch. However I had to wait 4 hours between doses, and it definitely wore off before 4 hours.

The visiting hours were 10 AM to 8 PM. J lingered until 8:30 PM since no one kicked him out, but then he had to go home to feed our cat. I had anticipated I'd be sad without him at night, but I felt so lonely and isolated that it was overwhelming with him gone.

I hadn't known this because I had never been inpatient before, but I could barely manage to sleep because nurses came in literally every hour to check my vitals or empty my drains or listen to the pulse in my dick with a stick covered in goo.

I had to beg multiple times for the hospital to bring me my personal belongings, which I'd packed in a small suitcase. Mainly I wanted my cervical pillow and my stuffed bunny to comfort me. It took an interminably long time for the staff to find and bring it, which was another frustration.

Sometime in the night, my bladder felt so much backed up pressure that I used the call button to ask if I was actually urinating or if something was wrong. Someone who clearly didn't know what she was doing informed me that I was indeed peeing and that I just had to think about peeing and it would happen. I used the call button again. A nurse came in and realized my catheter was basically blocked up with urine and not flowing into the piss jug properly because the tube itself was way too long. The urine just. Stopped at some point along the way. She manipulated it to flow into the tube and I felt a lot better, but this problem would plague me throughout my hospital stay.

My feet kept poking past my blankets, which was sensory hell for my adhd, but the wires also tangled me up when I tried to fix it using only my feet, and of course I couldn't sit up. That, and everything else, made my sleep very restless and miserable.

I knew I was having post-op depression, but that didn't help me feel any better.

#phalloplasty #Phallo #nonbinary #Transgender #cw: medical #cw: body horror

0 notes

moviestandor · 2 years

Link

#DeniseDowse #DeniseDowseInComa #Meningitis #RememberMe:TheMahaliaJackson

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just-pineapple-responses · 4 years

Note

Just curious, how many shower thought (response) blogs are there? I just dived into this side of tumblr (not gonna make any posts its fun to read though) and I'm already losing my mind

Well there is

The. Literal. Sun.

Plasma...

S p a c e

ALL HAIL THE LIGHT

The void. It shall consume ALL.

A typewriter incase anyone wants to write their will before they die

Also some ink, not related to the typewriter

Also some words, I wonder who'll use them

A hat with no maker and a maker with no hat

The pen is mightier than the sword. It just so happens that this one is evil. Luckily I can summon multiple

Anyone order some coffee?

Ooo, an author

The literal embodiment if of fanart

A fork, nom noms

B҉ r҉ o҉ k҉ e҉ n҉

Soap

Soap(for hair)

Toothpaste

🄵🄰🅄🄲🄴🅃

Towel

Bath mat

Washcloth

Bathtub

Bathwater

𝔹𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕓𝕠𝕞𝕓

Bubblebath!

One (1) bath boi

Some M͓̽o͓̽l͓̽d͓̽ (anybody got some strong disinfectant?)

Nvm, the mold has already caused a plague (gettit?) (although user misspelled it)

Nevermind, there's already a parasite here

Mirror

Door!!!

Some curtains

A denim jacket

Blackout

Rainbow

✨ Magic ✨

*Tree poses to assert dominance*

Coconut

(obviously me)

I think popeye dropped a tin of spinch and it became sentient?

Tost

Hummus. dip tost?

Criss Cross applesauce

Wibbly wobbly Wibbly wobbly jellyo

Mmmm océan s o u p

Some poison, a great addition for my soup

Smol bean

Potat

Shower magpie who I haven't seen in a while

Bird (brain)

Frog(×2:Electric Boogaloo)

An axolotl!

Ferret

*looks at smudged writing on hand. Squints. * a raccoon

Stinky bastard man (I just had to put the two next to each other)

Rat.

Becometh crab 🦀 (x2: Electric Boogaloo)

Nya~

Edgy Nya~

Tripod of dog

Brain

Nina i found one of your neurons (if you understand this reference, good job you)

A rotted brain, keep it away before it infects us all, I only have 2 braincells left

Did... Did someone drop their spinal cord?

The almighty binch

The titanic

Narrator

Water based introspection

Existential crisis

Dumbass

Also a pacifier (get it because they're also called dummies and their name is dummy)

A foolish thought to say a sorry sight join the shower community (as you can tell we did Shakespeare in English so many times i pretty much can recite everything lady macbeth said)

ADHD

Ominous

Anonymous

Anxious 🥺👉👈

Some edgy bastard

A person of culture I see (although obsessed with tweed for some reason)

1 Dapper boi

Sarcastic

nice

All smiles and sunshine

HAPPY! (why isn't there yellow 😔)

Affection (Derogatory) (I'm sorry I just felt like it)

~Petty~

Idiot

Disaster

Chaos and Order

Comebacks

'vanishing'

Defences

Threatened

Op is on drugs

All the F s

And F-general

Get out of the shower

Shower responses

Dry

The horny and the simp

Shower sins

Thower shoughts

I take quick showers

Shower thots

Last responder *countdown music*

You have shower thoughts?

Your shower thoughts are stupid

Wtf shower thoughts

Another shower responder

Just shower responses... responses

Response shower

NO SHOWER! only thought (×3)

Mmm, showery

Penny for your thoughts?

Hello darkness my old friend...

Llawyer

Beepbeep

Prussia

Haywire!!!

furry OwO

A Pigeon got in through the door, who left it open?

I'm feeling devious

You're looking glamorous, let's get mischievous, and polyamorous

Gay is stored in the ass

Gay

Trans

*opens door and walks through with you exaggeratedly* Fellas we got the whole LGBTQIA+ community right here

Enby

Hahaha gender go brrr

Lesbian

Lesbian-thot

Lust

Someone who thinks it funny to clown around

Joker (derogatory)

Haha straight

Dead inside

Some supervillain idk

News. Literally a shower news style responses

I cannot believe that I forgot Her Greatest Majesty, the Queen. All Hail Royal

Isaac newton?

M megamind?

Fiftieth

Crackhead

Some Phoenix Wright kinnie

What is a Dean Winchester and why does he have a tentacle fetish?

Well well well, if it ain't a homestuckian

Did someone kill/rob The Doctor or something, their TARDIS was left behind and its blocking my pretzels that I left in the shower

Mined crafts uwu

Well well well, if it ain't- *accidentally makes eye contact and is then killed by some unknown shadowy creature holding what seems to be some sort of cube of dirt*

GOTTA GO FAST

Mishamishamishamishamishamishamisha

Gen Z and ready to throw hands with OP

Not puki

Nom noms

Dip dap

Kensa

B͓̽u͓̽n͓̽g͓̽e͓̽r͓̽ ..........

Someone broke their space bar or something

It's time to d-d-d-d-d-dshower

The magical deity of sleepovers

DON'T FALL ASLEEP. NO MATTER WHAT THEY TELL YOU-

The muffin man genuinely left drury Lane for this

Txmblr

Moonlit nights on a winters day, stars glimmering gently

A child?

🟥

The fae. Just all of them. Every single one.

Crocus? (What on earth does that mean)

*sings* baba blacksheep have you any wool? Because if not you will be killed (this fits the tune perfectly. If not I have failed in everything)

The theatre itself is here... Somehow

Ahoy-hoy

boo

REEEE- *epic geometry dash gameplay to DanTDM's old intro music*

Yardale, not to be mistaken for riverdale and differs to lawn ale or front porch ale or even meter ale

I'll finish this list later

It's gonna be a long one folks

I'm including a ones that haven't spoken since ages ago because

Boy howdy there's new ones tell me who I'm missing now

Please stop thank you very much this is too many i keep having to add to this any new responder must kill a responder to continue the purge shall claim y'all as I will win i recently started watching Danganronpa

Seriously though everyone after mirror must have a battle royale it's too much i doubt all of you will even last longer than today also happy birthday me -dated:28th- do you even realise what sort of commitment you've made to sell pieces of your soul for entertainment and ability to make such epic retorts each and every post?! I sacrifice many souls DAILY to be throwing such bangers into this stuff y'know?

We have a tap guys we can finally wash our hands of all the blood of our enemies

Seriously though who left the door open I don't want a Pigeon pecking at me (the mishapocalypse got them lol)

So many responders so little time before the end of the world

If I'm missing someone please tell me very thank

There are not enough colours for me to assign a different one to each person 😔 also, wtf is on there twice on purpose

WorldHealthOrganisation IS MISSING (note: you may have a joke in place of name or under a category of names)

So there's lore without me?

ALL HAIL THE LIGHT *moth noises*

Okay now there's alternate timeline versions of responders for the benefit of myself they ain't going on the list bud

There is an incorrect role play blog quotes blog and I am crying. Not of laughter. Just wiuwhdhsjhshjxjabjsjdhdjsj

If any new people join I will go back to causing shower wars for the sake of killing you all I'm done I have snapped my laptop is updating 3 times in a row

I will commit crimes.

Does being a shower responder or role-playing seem encouraging to people to join this "community"? Because I'm pretty sure it's the latter

#ShowerThoughts blogs #Asks #As you can see I'm trying to organise in order of inanimate to animal to concepts to water else #*whatever else #And now rp blogs wow

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angsty-omi · 3 years

Text

second best.

tanaka ryūnosuke x reader; tanaka ryūnosuke x kyoko shimizu

genre: angst, heartbreak, cheating

word count: 1.5k

cw: insecurity

She was beautiful. Her silky black hair, perfect nose, nicely framed glasses, and a cute mole on her chin. Anyone could see it, every volleyball team in the tri-state area attempted to get her number. Kiyoko Shimuzu was her name, and you could not help but see the way your boyfriend looks at her.

The three of you went to school together, since primary. A trio, one would call it ever since the third grade. At recess, kids would say, “It’s no surprise that Y/N, Kiyoko, and Tanaka are all partnered together.” and during a specific game of soccer, you accidentally tripped over the ball and skid your knee. You bit your lip hard, trying not to cry in front of everyone. Your eyes were watery, at the fact that your knee hurt like hell and now everyone was staring at you. To your surprise, Tanaka ran over to you to help you up and guide you to the clinic. When you got there, the nurse sat you down and poured alcohol onto cotton balls. Tanaka offered his hand, and you gripped it lightly, with a slight shade of pink on your cheeks. It was a cute moment until the nurse dabbed onto your joint. Then, you tightly squeezed Tanaka’s hand and screamed some very colorful words. That night, your mom scolded you and sent you straight to your room. While you lay on your bed, you could not help but smile at the event that happened that afternoon. This was the start of your attraction towards Tanaka Ryūnosuke.

When you got to middle school, puberty started to hit you like a truck. The rapid growth of hormones made your face acne-infested. While everyone told you it was normal, you could not help but question why does Kiyoko’s face not look like this then? Her skin was clear and had a nice dew to it. The amount of money spent on drug store products could buy you a whole store. Acne was inevitable, already eating at your brain, and planting their seed called insecurity. Tanaka would always call Kiyoko terms like, ‘gorgeous’ and ‘goddess’ while you had what- ‘funny’? The summer going into high school, you decided to get medical help. Immediately, you were put on accutane. You did not want to see anyone during that whole summer, especially Tanaka. Accutane made your face very dry, crackled, and forced you to put on chapstick every minute. Locking yourself into your room all summer, made you lonely.

Sometimes, you could hear Tanaka and Kiyoko walk by your house and hear them say, “Has Y/N ever responded to your texts? It’s like she’s a ghost.” Tanaka asked.

“Nope, she hasn’t even answered to get our nails done, she must seriously be ghosting us,” Kiyoko responded.

You tear up at the guilt of ignoring your closest friends, but it’s hard when you’re in love with one of them and envious of the other. You did not want your toxic mindset upheld against them, so you justified that it was just for the best.

When fall came around, it was back to school. Your first year. The Accutane, though traumatizing, worked. In addition, being trapped in your room all day introduced you to makeup. Looking in the mirror, you actually started to like what you saw in the mirror. You’ve learned self-care and it paid off. Scanning the sheets on the wall, it looked like Tanaka was in your class and Kiyoko was in the honors one.

“Class 2-B” you read aloud to yourself and sat down at a desk. You left the one seat open next to you, just for Tanaka. When you saw him walk in, your heart skipped a beat. He looked different, in a good way. His hair was shaved, taller, and looked more mature. When you waved over to him, he just glared at you and sat at the seat farthest from you. This made your heart drop. Why was he acting like this? Did I do something? Does he not want to be my friend anymore? Questions rambling in your head. During lunch, you headed over to his desk and pulled the chair behind you to sit down. He just stared at you intently, furrowing his brows signifying anger.

“Ryo-channn, look what I brought,” you gleefully rang, knowing that he would never in a million years refuse your mom’s onigiris. When you took out your bento, you grabbed the onigiri with your hand and put it near his mouth. Still looking at you angrily, he took a bite from the onigiri in your hand and looked away from you.

“What’s wrong?” you worried. He did not respond, so you asked again. “You can’t just act like I don’t exist Ryo, especially if you’re eating from my invisible hand.”

“That’s funny, me acting like YOU don’t exist when you ghosted me for three months? I thought we were best friends, Y/N.” Now, you finally understood why he was so upset. Before you could speak up, there was a knock at the entrance, “Ryo, want to grab lunch together?” Kiyoko said in a monotone voice. It seems that Kiyoko too was also mad at you. You could not help it though, you and Kiyoko were basically sisters up until that summer. “Yeah, let me grab my stuff,” Ryo picked up all his belongings and left you in the dust.

That day, you waited for both of them after practice. Kiyoko was a manager and Tanaka was on the team. Two birds, one stone. When they walked out together, they both saw you. Murmuring to each other. You took a deep breath, “Listen, I’m sorry for not texting you guys back and not spending time with you during the summer. I-it’s just that I felt so i-insecure with myself, I didn’t want to bring you guys down with me y’know?” Tears started welling up in your eyes, you continued, “I would hear you guys talk about me when you passed by my house, and it took everything I had to not just run out and hug you guys. But, I couldn’t. I hated myself for the longest time and I was scared that you two would start to notice it. So, I understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore, but you guys needed an explanation.” You sighed and started to turn around and leave. You fell to your feet, with two bodies tackling you down. “G-guys?” your eyes are still watery. Laughter emitted from their voices, “Don’t do it again or else we will kill you,” Kiyoko threatened.

It was the final set, both teams were tied. Yamaguchi was serving and Aoba Johsai hit it back with ease. The rally probably lasted around a minute, but to everyone, it was slowed down. Until, Tanaka passed the ball to Kageyama, and everyone thought he’d set it Hinata. Instead, he setter dumped. The crowd was silent, not realizing what just happened. Karasuno just won the preliminaries. Every student screamed and chanted at them. You and a couple of other people ran down to congratulate. You ran up to Tanaka’s arms and squeezed him. He swung you around joyfully, and you pulled your face back. There was a moment where it felt like it was just the two of you. The adrenaline of winning finally got to you, and you impulsively kissed him. It lasted maybe around a second or two before you finally realized what you were doing. Mortified, you were rambling with apologies.

“Can you please just forget this ever happen-” he cut you off. Warm lips were pressed onto your lips. You were shocked at first but slowly sunk into the kiss. This was the start of your relationship with Tanaka Ryūnosuke.

Kiyoko never spoke about her feelings about her best friends dating. In fact, she hated it. But it was out of character for her to be so opinionated. She could not stand the fact that you guys would cuddle during movie night nor how he would hold your hand during the walk home. She did not necessarily like Tanaka that way, but she did miss the attention he gave her. Who wouldn’t want someone calling you pretty 24/7? And to reject them was a power move. No one would ever know, but he was the reason why her confidence shot up. The confidence to reject handsome men on different teams. All started because of Tanaka. Although, now that he was with you, the flirting stopped. She could feel herself start to become jealous and it started to infect her brain. During practice, Yachi would gush about how cute you and Tanaka were while Kiyoko just had to listen.

“Y/N is too cute,” Yachi cheesed. Kiyoko couldn't take it anymore, “Listen, I am way prettier than Y/N and Tanaka could do much better” it just slipped out. She was surprised at what she just said, and even more surprised that she didn’t even feel an ounce of guilt.

“Like you?” a voice appeared. It was Tanaka. “R-Ryo,” she muttered. “We should talk outside.”

Once they were both outside, Tanaka spoke first.

“You don’t get to do this. You rejected me countless times and now t-that I’m with someone you can’t just profess your feelings for me.” Tanaka hissed.

“I-I know, it’s just- I didn’t realize what I had until I lost it. Imagine how I feel seeing you guys together, the man I love with someone else. Someone who is inferior to me.” Tears welled up in Kiyoko’s eyes.

“Do you even hear yourself right now? Love? Please. You don’t love me. You never will.” He bit his lip sharply.

Silence.

“Then look at me and tell me you don’t love me. Because not once have you said that you didn’t feel the same way, you only said that you were dating Y/N” Kiyoko sobbed.

“You know I can’t do that,” Tanaka whispered. Then, Kiyoko leeched on him, pressing her lips against his. He wasn’t kissing back, but he wasn’t pulling away either. He was conflicted. He was too dazed and decided to just give in.

Little did they both know, there you were watching at the scene. Well, now you were hiding behind a wall, peeking at them, kissing. You could physically hear your heart-shattering. After wiping the nonstop tears flowing on your face, you left.

Grief turned into anger. You threw every picture, gift, and sweater into the trash bag. Your eyes only saw red. Your room was left bare and cold. The bedroom door knocked in a rhythmic beat that only one person did. When he walked in, his eyes gazed at every spot in your room. It was empty.

You looked down at the ground, “I always knew I was second best in your heart.” You whispered, tears threatening your eyes. “What?” His face contorted in a confused stance. “I should’ve seen it coming y’know? But I just thought maybe— maybe he’d pick me.” You continued. He started getting worried, “What’re you talking about?” The fact that he was here, blatantly lying to you, gives you all the answers you needed.

“Please don’t act like that, not with me”

“Act like what?”

“Clueless. Ry-Tanaka,” you corrected yourself. “If you love her, then go for it. But don’t act like you’re still in love with me. It hurts-” Your voice broke mid-sentence.

“It was a mistake,” He pleaded.

“A mistake? No, mistakes happen impulsively. T-This whole thing with Kiyoko was premeditated. All my life, I have been trying to compete with her. Grades, appearances, and even you. And when I had you, I thought, I had won. I won the best prize ever. You. But now-” You dropped to your knees, “I don’t even have you.”

He wiped your tears with his hands, “But you do, you do have me,”

“No, no I don’t,” you denied.

“Yes you do baby, I’m right here. I choose you.”

You were not some decision, you were his girlfriend and yet, he thought that would make you happier. “Nonono, you don’t get it. I don’t want you anymore. These tears aren’t for you, they’re for me. Seeing you kiss Kiyoko? I felt nothing and that scared me. Maybe I wasn’t in love with you, maybe I just wanted to beat Shimizu that bad. Who knows? But, by the looks of it, I did win. I got to you first.” You punctuated every word, prying his hands off your face. Of course, you were lying your ass off. You’ve loved this man ever since that day in recess. Revenge had poisoned your heart though, and you wanted him to feel an ounce of you were feeling.

“We’re done. There I have let you go, now you are free to do anything you want with Kiyoko. Date her or reject her, it’s not my issue anymore.” Tanaka couldn’t even recognize you anymore. Though it was your voice and your physical look, it was like your soul had been drained, and in replacement was someone who was cold and emotionless.

A/N: I’m back! I’ve fixed my writing style so everything is capitalized properly. Requests are greatly appreciated! Just shoot a message. Also, this story was inspired by my drabble and a person actually asked me to write one for Tanaka, so here you go @aestheticno !

likes & repubs are greatly appreciated. :D

#haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #tanaka x you #hq tanaka #tanaka angst #hq kiyoko #tanaka fluff

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