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spookyspecterino · 2 months

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Back to You Again

Tangerine x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Injury, mention of blood, mention of death/fear of death, arguing/bickering, swearing. Serious idiots in love who have a little trouble expressing their feelings and choose the wrong time to do it.

You've been gone a little while. A few months to be specific. Why? Tangerine can only guess, but he's not happy about it.

Requested by @nocturnest. I'm so sorry this took so long. I started it thinking it was going to be short and then 7K words flew out. 😬Anyway, thanks for your request. It's been a long time since I wrote anything seriously and this was really good for me. Hope you enjoy!

“Laser cutter. Three auto-rifles. Two handguns. Three boxes of ammo each.”

Check.

The binoculars are heavy duty, and the metal texture grates your fingers as you pull them up to peer through the lenses into the next building over. A high-rise that had at least 30 floors. All windowed at least, which made this a little easier on you.

“In through the fifth-floor service area. Through the employee hallway to the service elevator.”

A map of the building laid next to you on the gravel roof. It hadn’t been easy to get your hands on it, but it was worth it for a building as secure as this. No security measure had been overlooked by this man and as paranoid as he seemed it went a long way to his credibility.

“In and out through the service elevator. 20 mins tops. Oh, the jammer.”

A handheld device that you’d paid top dollar for. Yes, it has duct tape holding pieces of it together, and the screen was a repurposed old Gameboy front, but it is the best your back-channel dealer could provide.

How did anyone do anything without a handler these days?

The jammer would save you the trouble (if things turned sideways) of dealing with reinforcements. It flickers to life by flipping a switch smoldered to its side. The thing really does look like a piece of garbage.

Several frequencies and networks flashed across the screen, all of them belonging to the building you were surveying. Scrolling through, only a few needed to be shut down, too many and it would raise alarms.

Wifi was the last to be turned off and then you would really need to book it inside.

Everything planned out to a T. Entrance and exits mapped. Back-up plans (and back-up plans to those back-up plans) in place. Extra weapons and ammo in case you had to go out guns blazing. This should be no problem.

“Office-penthouse on the top floor. Computer terminal on the desk, west side.”

Get to the computer, get the files, destroy everything. If you happened to kill the son of a bitch, well, that was a bonus.

You sigh and rub your face, trying to work out the stress lines that seemed to make a permanent home between your brows. “Now I just need to stop talking to myself.”

It was an unfortunate habit you’d picked up in the last few months of working alone. Usually, you had… no. This was no time to think of them, or of him. You have to focus. After this is done, you can go back and apologize, even grovel if you have to.

But now is the time for focus.

In the middle of repeating this mantra, one you’ve been repeating for the last month, you happen to look up at the street. Not for any real reason, nothing had drawn your attention. Nothing was amiss in your perfect plan.

Except two very familiar faces walking down the sidewalk.

Lemon and Tangerine.

Clad in their typical attire. Snazzy suits, dress shoes, and ties.

Your stomach does several things. First it flips at the sight of Tangerine as he saunters with his hands in his pockets, then it sinks and twists into painful knots.

“No, no, no!”

They can’t be here! Anywhere but here!

The two walked casually down the sidewalk, as if they were taking a nice midday stroll. No rifles, no car, nothing. Either they were ballsy as hell…or wildly misinformed about this building and the man inside.

Something in you hoped, prayed, they would pass the building. That they were going somewhere else.

They took a sharp turn to cross the street—toward the building entrance—and your breath turned ragged, your blood chilled. At the same time, your mind was churning with practicality, cold and calculated ideas. Some nasty part of you that had gotten you this far in such a dangerous career, that had nestled in you a long time ago and only now resurfaced in the months of being alone.

You could just walk away; they have their job, and they’re professionals. They can handle themselves.

You could go in after and clean up without ever being seen. Easy. The plan you made could still work, Tangerine and Lemon would be a perfect distraction.

But you were already moving. Lega working on their own and putting you into motion. Fingers tapping off the Wi-Fi signal on the jammer while you slung your duffle bag over your shoulder.

This was not the plan, you argued with yourself as you flew down the back stairs. You’ll get yourself killed being this reckless and impulsive. What happened to in and out in 20 mins?

With every point you made the other side of your mind made a counterpoint.

They’re underprepared. They’re misinformed. They don’t have the firepower to walk in the front door, hell, they don’t have enough bullets to make it to the second floor.

“God damn it!” You yelled, taking the stairs down two at a time. Your voice echoed off the walls in the cramped stairwell. The rifles in your duffle bag clattered and banged together.

They’d be killed. Tangerine and Lemon would be killed. You couldn’t let that happen.

. . .

“I say we take a hostage and negotiate our way up.”

“Yeah, sure, Lemon.”

“This guy’s what, a tech billionaire, or something?”

“Probably.”

“Ok, so he’s a nerd. Easy job.”

“Uh-huh.”

Lemon shoots his brother a less than happy look. Tangerine is staring off into space with a slight frown, hands shoved deep in his pockets as he hunches over a little. Which wasn’t new, he’d been doing that a lot lately. A reflection of his dour mood.

Lemon rolls his eyes. “Oh, mate. Come on. We’re on a job.”

Tangerine shrugs, frowning harder. “I’m fuckin’ aware of that, Lemon.”

“Then stop with your sulking! What have I told you?”

“No—” Tangerine waves a hand, “—you don’t need to say it again—”

“Just send her a letter or something. She’d love it.”

Tangerine groans, he’s starting to get a headache now as they near the target building. “As I’ve said before, I attached letters on the flowers I sent.”

Lemon opens his mouth, but Tangerine cuts him off. “And I sent more than one bouquet. For fuck’s sake, her house probably looks like a tropical rainforest by now.”

“What about—”

“I’ve sent her presents. Jewelry. Perfume. A new phone in case hers was broken. Fuckin’ hell I even had her porch repainted.”

“And she didn’t say anything?”

“Nothing.”

Lemon hesitates. “Did you say you’re sorry?”

Now Tangerine was about to lose it. His eye twitched, not that his brother could see it. “Sorry for what? She’s the one that up and disappeared without a word.”

“I still think you should say it. Just to cover your bases.”

“I’m not apologizing. We were all perfect and you know that. She was happy as a clam and if something was wrong, she would have told me.”

“Then why’d she—”

“You’re really getting on my fucking nerves, Lemon.”

They were across the street from the main entrance now. Two glass doors with golden handles reflected the brothers. In sync they both took a sharp turn toward them. Through the glass they didn’t see anyone else in the lobby and there was a long, chest high counter with a clerk along the far back wall.

Neither of them blinked at how empty the lobby was. Their client had said this target was some kind of informant, but that was about it. They’d paid half up front and sent them on their merry way.

Tangerine yanked open the glass door, holding it for Lemon. He was beyond pissed and just wanted this to be over with. Despite his complaints he was still mulling over what his brother said. Should he apologize, even though he had done nothing wrong? He didn’t think he’d done anything wrong, and he had thought back on all the times you’d been with them, working a job or not.

He’d been happy, he thought you were happy too.

The white floor tiles of the lobby were so shiny they could check their reflections in them. The whole place was upstanding and flaunted wealth. On both sides of the spacious lobby were two silver elevators. The clerk, a lady in her mid-thirties, looked up at them as they walked in. She picked up a phone and turned away as she spoke.

It took them 10 seconds to reach the desk, and, in that time, Lemon had pulled out his gun.

He pointed it at her now. “Hang up the phone.”

She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. Not the usual response someone has when a gun is pointed at them, but she slowly hangs up.

“Come out from behind the desk, slowly.”

There’s a moment when she does nothing. Then, “No.”

Tangerine blinks, then pulls out his own gun. “Did you really just say no? Listen lady—”

She leans forward over the desk, leering. “Turn around and get the fuck out.”

Lemon shoots into the wall slightly to her left. She doesn’t even flinch at the sound. “I will fucking shoot you. Get out. From behind. The desk.”

She leans back. “Cute gun.”

Tangerine starts to get a sinking feeling. He turns to Lemon, about to say they should take a walk (maybe find a back entrance to this place instead) when the woman pulls out .22 Uzi from somewhere in the desk. They only catch a glimpse of the muzzle before they start shooting wildly and ducking.

Lemon takes a shot to the chest with a grunt. Tangerine hears the bullets whizzing past him and shattering glass.

The desk clerk turns disappearing behind an employee door seamlessly built into the wall.

They crouch down next to the desk. Tangerine’s head pounds, as it usually does when a job gets out of control.

“You alright?” He reloads his gun, watching his brother carefully.

Lemon checks himself over, patting his chest and stomach. “Yeah, all good, the vest caught it. This is fucked what do we do—”

He doesn’t get a chance to finish as both elevators open and squads of heavily armored men pour out. They all have automatic rifles and black Kevlar vests.

“Behind the desk!” Tangerine shouts, pulling Lemon up.

They jump over just as the bullets start flying. Glass shatters, wood splinters, tiles crack. It’s utter chaos and Tangerine and Lemon can only sit behind cover.

“I think we might be fucked!” Lemon shouts, checking his gun.

Tangerine grits his teeth, mind racing. “The client didn’t mention this level of security! I’m going to wring their fucking neck!”

“We’re outmatched!”

“No question, Lemon! Thanks for pointing that out!” Tangerine can feel his brother’s rising anxiety as he shifts his weight from foot to foot.

“What do we do?!”

“We hope to God this is all of them and try our best to make it out of here!”

“You’re saying—”

Tangerine fires blindly from behind the desk. “Yes, we bail on this job and break our client’s fucking legs!”

The onslaught never seems to end. These assholes are top security and they’re trained well. Their shots chip away at the desk piece by piece, Tangerine and Lemon can feel the bullets violently embed themselves in the wood against their backs.

Tangerine glances at the employee door, there’s no handle and no way to pry it open. He figures there’s a remote control that opens it somewhere from behind. He tries to remain calm, think of a way out that isn’t behind at least 10 guys with rifles.

What would you do in this situation? His heart feels like it’s been pierced with a lance as he thinks of you. Obviously, you would never be caught in a situation like this. You were careful, practical, methodical in the way you planned out jobs.

He wished you were here with him.

Instinctually, his hand reaches into his pocket, grabbing his phone. Lemon watches him with something close to sympathy on his face.

Your number is on speed dial. Tangerine presses a button and holds it up to his ear.

It goes straight to voicemail.

The automated answering machine has become very familiar to him these last few months. Were you checking his voicemails? He’d left you enough to fill up your mailbox, he was sure of it.

“Please leave a message after the tone.”

He hopes you can hear him over the sound of gunshots.

“Yeah, look. Lemon and I, we’re in a bit of a pickle. I was really hoping you would answer this time ‘cause we need help. Since you didn’t, I just wanted to say that you’re a real prick for leaving us the way you did. And you haven’t said a single thank you or anything for all the gifts I’ve sent. Poor Lemon has been wondering where you went off to.” He pauses. This wasn’t the way he wanted to start this message, but every other attempt at getting your attention has failed.

“You know how I feel, I’ve made that pretty clear. But right now, I’m just pissed. Nothing has worked, so I’m going to break into your house and wait for you to come home.”

Lemon gives him a startled look, shakes his head from side to side.

Tangerine frowns. “Don’t take that the wrong—Alright, I won’t break into your house, but I will wait on your doorstep. Every day, I’ll be there until I see you.”

Lemon is still frowning, but Tangerine ignores him.

“This is all because…Well, I…” He struggles, throat turning dry and closing around the words he wants to say. Instead of continuing, he hangs up.

Sitting back against the desk he exhales. The gunfire has stopped to an occasional patter here and there.

Lemon runs a hand through his hair. “Bruv, what the fuck was that?”

“A last-ditch effort at getting some backup.”

They fell into silence; the lobby was eerily quiet. They knew the security team was just waiting for them to come out from behind the desk. The air crackled with energy.

Lemon checked his pockets. “I’ve got two clips left, you?”

“One and a half.”

The look they share conveys their doubts, their dread. An unspoken conversation passes between them.

Tangerine puts it in the back of his mind. “I’ll run out first, then you go a few seconds later.”

“No way, we go at the same time.”

He shakes his head but arguing only puts off the inevitable.

“Go to the opposite side of the desk.”

They split, crouching behind opposite corners. There was no way either of them would be able to make it two steps without taking 10 rounds to the chest. The image of you stays in Tangerine’s mind. He just wished he could see you again. Whatever comes next, afterlife or not, he hoped you—or some form of you—would be in it.

Tangerine gives Lemon one last look, finds that his brother is watching him, and gives him a somber nod. He holds his gun up, takes a deep breath, gets ready to run…

He’s out from behind the desk, gritting his teeth and firing in a flash.

He hits one, another to his left falls from Lemon’s bullets. His legs are shaky, he can feel them trembling.

Rifles take aim.

Tangerine opens his mouth to urge Lemon on.

And a grenade goes off.

The loud bang startles him, his ears ring and a second later he’s shrouded in white, smokey fog. Tangerine stops, confused, looking around to try and find Lemon. But a strong hand yanks him and drags him back. He stumbles, scattering empty bullet shells along the ground, and falls onto the tile.

He’s back behind the desk. Lemon falls next to him.

A pair of legs stands between the brothers. Next to them lies a green duffle bag. Empty rifle shells fall to the ground. Tangerine didn’t even realize guns were firing. He followed the legs up in one long sweep of his eyes.

. . .

A million and one things were going through your mind as you fired an automatic rifle at the security team in the lobby. The biggest thing was holding back every fiber of your damn being from screaming at Tangerine and Lemon for being so foolish.

If you had been a breath later, a second too late, these idiots would be laying in a pile of their own blood on the floor. That thought definitely won’t haunt you for a few months.

The other thing you were concentrating on was ignoring the way Tangerine was staring at you right now. He’s not hurt—you kept repeating, over and over again. He’s ok.

The security team was scattering for cover, but finding little, making your job easy as the last of the smoke cleared. They hadn’t been expecting someone to come in from behind and you’d shot a few in the back before throwing the smoke grenade. Only a few were left now.

They seemed to get over their surprise and began firing back, opening the elevators, and using the inside cabins for cover. Keeping the doors open would stop them from being sent back up for more goons to come through. That was good.

You duck down behind the desk. They were still staring at you.

“Yes! Hello!” You stubbornly gritted out while staring into the wood.

Tangerine’s mouth opened and closed many times, but no words came out. That didn’t mean Lemon wasn’t able to say anything.

“Did you get his message?” He was grinning like some kind of fool.

“Message? Which one?”

Was he talking about the hundreds of messages—texts, voicemails, and letters—Tangerine had been sending on a weekly basis? Yes, you’d gotten them. Read every single one. It had been hard enough sleeping normally, after all that you hadn’t been able to sleep at all. The guilt was overwhelming.

Lemon’s eyes dart to his brother. You did the same and regretted it immediately.

Tangerine’s eyes were practically bulging from his head. His mustache twitched.

Oh, he’s pissed.

You quickly look away and clear your throat. “Are you on a job?”

“Yeah, a shit one. We were just trying to bail.”

“Can’t blame you. What happened, bad intel?”

Tangerine’s voice resembled a growl, it grated against your ear, but it wasn’t entirely unwelcome. “Understatement of the century, love.”

Love. Love. Love.

Lemon wipes his forehead. “What’re you doing here?”

“I have my own problems with your target.” You turn to Lemon but feel Tangerine’s eyes burning a hole in your back. “I was about to sneak in when I saw you two walking down the street.” You check your gun, then rummage through the duffle bag for another clip.

“A massive coincidence then?” Lemon was holding back a smile, eyes darting to Tangerine occasionally. It was as if they weren’t just about to die only five minutes ago.

“If you two still want to bail, that’s fine with me. I’ll give you a window after taking the rest out. I’m going to push on.”

Tangerine spins you around by the shoulder to face him. “Are you fucking mental?”

You’re very close together. The determination it takes not to just lean in and…

Speaking slow, you’re focusing your words and hoping it gets through to him. “Your target has info on me that could get people hurt and ruin my reputation. I need to wipe his computer.”

For all his credit, Tangerine takes you seriously in that moment, even as he looks like he might commit murder. He looks to Lemon—they do that ‘sibling conversation’ without words that they’re so good at.

“We’ll stick around to help.”

“You sure?”

Something in him ignites. There’s a fire behind his eyes. “Fuck yes, we’re sure.”

He’s giving mixed signals now. Is he angry? Probably. But apparently not angry enough to leave you on a job alone.

“Alright…” You say, slowly backing away.

You search through the duffle bag, cold objects graze your fingers, you can identify them each by touch. The laser cutter has a rubber handle. “Lemon—" You toss it to him. “—Cut a hole in the employee door. Tangerine—” You grab another rifle, placing it into his hands. “—Help me take out the last of the guys.”

He takes the rifle and for a moment your hands touch. You expect him to flinch away, or recoil, but he lingers there for a moment. His golden rings gleam—of course he wore them, he never leaves them behind—and catch your eyes until he takes the gun from you.

Fucking confusing.

It had been months, but the three of you worked together like no time had passed at all. Tangerine falling in sync with you, watching your back. Working in tandem, the few remaining riflemen dropped like flies.

“Doors open!” Lemon shouted tapping you and Tangerine’s shoulder.

The three of you waste no time dashing into the small service hallway. Tangerine grabbed the duffle bag and slung it over his shoulder. You were just about to pick it up, but he gave you a look.

There wasn’t as much polish to this part of the building, the lighting was dimmer, and it lacked the white tiles, replaced by a steely gray metal flooring instead. The hallway was long and narrow, its walls matched the floor in color.

“This should lead to an employee elevator. That will take us to the top office.” You panted, oddly exhilarated.

Lemon was looking down the hallway as he crouched. “Watch out for the desk clerk, she went this way.”

“Still can’t believe you both just walked in the front door…”

“We don’t all have your sense of planning, darling.” Tangerine huffed, hiking the bag higher on his shoulder.

“Did you have any sense of planning?”

“Lemon had a plan.”

You turn halfway back to face him. “You—Tangerine!”

He fixes you with an odd look. “What?”

“Lemon doesn’t even read the briefs! And you let him make the plan?” You shoot an apologetic look to Lemon. “No offense, you’re really great in every other area.”

He gives you a half smile. “I appreciate that.”

Tangerine grinds his teeth. “In my defense, the intel in the brief was already bad.” He steps closer, into your personal space. “And you always come up with the plans.”

You don’t shy away from him, in fact, you inch closer. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to make them, but you should know better—”

Lemon sighs, long and loud. “Can you two please focus? We’re in the middle of a dangerous situation here.”

It took a moment for you and Tangerine to resume, the closeness was intimate. Electricity crackles in the air between you.

You both say ‘Fine’ at the same time, like stubborn teenagers. The tension hadn’t settled one bit.

If Tangerine needed to be ignored for the remainder of this mission, then ok. That’s fine. No problem. That doesn’t bother you one bit. Nope.

The three of you empty the duffle bag of its contents, splitting the ammo and giving Lemon the pump action shotgun. That shotgun was your Hail Mary in case shit hit the fan—which, by your definition, it had.

You three were your own personal attack squad now, armed to the teeth.

The employee lift was at the end of the twisting hallway, metallic doors shining like a beacon. The panel to call it only had the arrow pointing up, a one-way lift. You’d poured over the maps late into the night leading up to your personal mission, often with a glass of wine, and it had struck you as odd that it only offered a one way up.

You jab at the button, and the little golden light is stark against the greys around it. Tangerine stands just behind you; you can hear his breath over your shoulder.

“Why’s it only one way?” he asks, hushed and tense.

“I asked the same question.” You responded turning a little to look at him. “I thought it might be security measures.”

“Doesn’t really make sense though, does it? It lets people like us up.” Tangerine zeroes in on your frown. “What is it?”

“There might be internal controls from the top office. This guy doesn’t fuck around with security.”

“Who is this guy anyway?” Lemon sniffs, casting a look back down the hallway.

“An asshole that likes snooping into people’s personal business.”

The brothers trade looks.

“He also works in satellite tech, undercover ops, information gathering.”

There’s a gentle bump into your shoulder. “He’s been snooping into your business, has he?”

How long is this elevator going to take?

“He has.”

“Did he try to blackmail you?”

“Yes.”

“What did he find?”

The elevator dings and the sleek metal doors slide open. The inside is full of ominous red and gold hues. The luxuriousness of it gives you the impression that the boss of the building takes it regularly.

Instead of answering, you step inside and forcefully hit the button for the top floor. Tangerine watches you carefully, studying you. Somehow, he looks like a kicked puppy, yet holding the rifle he takes on a much more sinister tone. He still looks dashing as hell in his suit though. You can see the little gold chain of his necklace around his broad neck.

Focus, focus, focus!

His mustache twitches a bit as he catches you staring. And to top that off, he stands in front of you, very closely in front. Either trying to shield you or irritate you. Possibly both.

He’s wearing the cologne you got him as a present almost a year ago.

“If there’s in house security for this lift, we should be prepared.” You shift a little to see Lemon over Tangerine’s shoulder.

“What do you suggest?”

“They know we’re coming, so we have to be fast. Their access to elevators has been blocked. All remaining security teams will need to take the stairs. This elevator opens to another employee hallway that we’ll have to exit in order to reach the office. That’s assuming—”

The elevator stutters, something above you screeches in the elevator shaft, and the panel lights flicker. All three of you stumble as it comes to an abrupt stop and the dim emergency lights switch on. They coat the interior in a faint red light, turning it into a nightmare scenario.

You groan. “That’s assuming they don’t just turn the elevator off. Fuck.”

Lemon places the shotgun on the floor and motions to Tangerine. Together they pry the paneling off to reveal the switchboard underneath. Lemon fusses with the wiring, using a knife to cut through some and connect it to others.

Sparks fly, flashing in the dim light. Your anxiety ramps. Trapped in an elevator was not on your list of things you wanted to deal with today.

While Lemon fussed with wires, Tangerine turned back to you. “Relax.”

“Excuse me?”

“Try to stay calm, we’ll be out in a second or two.”

Your blood boiled hot. “Don’t tell me to be calm.”

Tangerine smiles at you. “I know you hate elevators.”

“They’re fine, I just particularly hate being trapped in them.”

“Just relax, I’ve got you.”

“That doesn’t help at all!”

More sparks and flickering lights and the elevator doors open an inch. Tangerine has the audacity to smirk in that moment and he touches your chin briefly. His eyes gleam in the dim light.

If you all lived, you were going to kill him.

The twins work wordlessly to pry the elevator doors open. It takes a tremendous effort and both of them are sweaty and breathing hard at the end, but there’s enough space for a person to climb through. Except, you’re going to have to jump down into the office below. Half the elevator is blocked.

“Well, good news is…” Lemon says, scratching his head, “we can get out. And if the elevator can only fall downward.”

“The elevator only goes up, Lemon.” You choke out.

“Oh. Right…well, best get a move on then.”

“I’ll go first.” Tangerine volunteers.

On instinct you reach for him. He sees the slight movement before you hold yourself back.

As if it was easy, he’s crouching down, squeezing through the doors, and jumping into the office below. All with his gun in his hand. Meanwhile, your heart is doing summersaults in your throat.

He holds his hands up, beckoning you. “Come on. You’ve done harder things than this.”

You force yourself to move, crouching down and inching toward the opening. You toss him your rifle. “Like when?”

“Like when you jumped between rooftops in Venezuela.”

“I wasn’t thinking when I did that! And in hindsight, it was fucking stupid of me.”

He laughs. “I’ve got you. Come on.”

You squeeze through the doors, imagining the elevator crashing down, the doors snapping shut, something—anything drastic, and then throw yourself at Tangerine. He catches you with practiced ease and holds you close to him.

He says something you don’t catch over the sound of your trembling breaths. There’s a pat on your shoulder, Lemon is out.

Regaining yourself, you move away from Tangerine and straighten your clothes. His brow furrows, mustache tilts down. Maybe it was your imagination, but did his fingers grip your clothes? A silent plea for you to stay?

You do your best to ignore it. “Let’s go. Did anyone catch what floor we stopped on?”

“37th.” Lemon says, handing over your gun.

“Two floors short.”

“You think they’re waiting for us?”

“I’d bet money on it. Be careful, both of you. I don’t want to see any heroics.”

Tangerine’s eyes follow you as you move to the front and lead them through the hallway at a jogging pace. The single door at the end is much like the one you entered on the first-floor lobby. There’s a control panel for it to the side. As you run up to it, you press your ear to the other side.

No noise.

Your hand hovers over the button. With one last look behind you at the twins you give them a nod, then press it. The door clicks open a fraction, and everything goes to shit.

They were waiting for you on the other side of the door and the gunfire started up immediately. Your vision was blocked immediately, and you were pushed and tugged out by a strong hand—the world was a blur of loud shots, ringing ears, and scrambling. Grey cubicles shoulder-height tall were set up along the floor, which made spotting the enemy incredibly hard. All the fighting was done in the tight walkways between the office spaces.

Your shirt had blood on it, but you had no bullet wounds. Tangerine sat beside you, holding an arm. He’d been shot in his right arm.

“I said no heroics!” You practically shrieked.

Lemon was firing between cubicles, and from the sound of it, he was holding his own.

“What was I supposed to do, love?” Tangerine pants through the pain.

“You’re supposed to let me handle it!” You’re shouting as you pull out some gauze. The bullet went straight through his upper arm. He’d need stitches but, overall, he would be ok. You poke and prod gently as he hisses with each touch.

His teeth are gritted as he grunts out, “You wanted to get shot?”

“I’d take a bullet for you, happily. You know that.”

“I feel the same way, which is what I was doing.”

“I still don’t want you to!”

“I don’t want you to, either!”

Something bounces off your back. It’s a stapler. Both you and Tangerine stare at it for a moment, confused.

“Oi! You two! Get over yourselves and actually talk about your feelings for once!”

You whip around to stare daggers at Lemon. “Did you just throw a stapler at me?!”

He’s taking cover behind a grey cubicle not too far away. “Yeah, I did! I’m sick of you two avoiding an actual conversation. Talk—it—out!”

Tangerine sits up, pushing against your hands on his chest in your weak attempt to keep him down. “You’ve lost your mind, mate!”

“Thomas would say to express your feelings, that bottling them up is bad for you! So, express them!”

“Is it really necessary—” You pick up your rifle and fire blindly down the walkway, “—to do this now? We’re a little busy!”

“It’s now or never, I know you two! Once all this stops, you’ll avoid it!”

Tangerine looks perplexed, like he’s really considering it, and you try not to look at him again. “Fuck this job!” You shout, before rolling into the walkway and opening fire.

The two or three men that hadn’t been behind cover are caught by surprise and the bullets chew through the walls of the cubicles. A deadly silence permeates the office floor, only the ringing in your ears remains.

Another shot rings out and you feel like your shoulder’s been ripped from the socket.

You’re thrown back onto the ground. It must have been a heavy round, your left arm is completely numb, do you even have an arm left?

There’s shouting and more gunshots, the grey office walls and floor merge into one as the room spins. You’re getting pulled off the ground, someone is prodding your arm. Absentmindedly, you swat at whoever is doing it.

“Listen, hey, open your eyes!”

Tangerine…

You obey. He’s inches in front of your face, brows furrowed, a vein in his forehead sticks out.

“I’m fine.” You cough out. “Just fell down, is all.”

“You’ve been shot!”

“Oh.”

He struggles, he looks like he has more to say, but stays silent. You swat at Lemon who’s wrapping your arm—or shoulder, more accurately. “I’m fine, let’s keep going.”

“You’re not fine.” Lemon grunts, pushing your hand away. “It was a .308 round. You’ll be lucky if you have any bones left in your shoulder.”

“Why’d you do that?!” Tangerine is shouting, running his hand through his hair. You both match now, he’s bandaged up on his left arm too.

“Do what?” You ask through gritted teeth as Lemon tightens the bandage.

“Run out like an absolute lunatic?”

“I told you I’d take a bullet for you.”

His eyes bug out. “You threw yourself into the line of fire!”

“All in a day’s work. Now, can we get back to it?” You don’t wait for a response, instead pushing yourself to your feet. Your left arm hangs to the side, limp and numb. A dull throb pulses through your side.

Tangerine watches you. “We need to have a serious discussion when this is over, love.”

You huff out a breath, swaying slightly. “Noted.”

The three of you push on in tense silence. Tangerine makes sure you’re behind him while the rest of the floors leading to the main penthouse office are cleared. He’s acting so stubborn, blocking you at every turn, holding you back with a gentle, yet unyielding hand. The vein in his forehead never goes away.

Finally, the double doors leading to the office are before you. Platinum gold, of course, with carved handles. This guy’s style was beginning to get obnoxious.

Lemon kicks open the doors with as much anger and prejudice as you feel (yet can’t muster at the moment). Instead of what you were expecting, the target stands alone behind his desk. He smirks, giving off a Wall Street investor impression with his pressed suit and perfectly cut hair.

He spreads his arms wide. “I really should have known you three would be together for this.”

“Shut up, wanker.” Tangerine shouts, pointing his gun.

The target opens his mouth to say more, but Tangerine doesn’t let him. He empties the clip into the man’s chest.

The target dies with a startled look on his face, falling back over his desk.

You move past Tangerine, fighting his hands that grip at your clothing. “Thank God for that.”

The computer is easily hacked, the files you’re after are on the desktop. Maybe the dead man was looking to bargain—or gloat. You glance at his dead, glazed over eyes.

Bastard.

Tangerine paces, looking at you often. His job is done, the confirmation is sent to the client through Lemon’s phone.

Your files are downloaded onto an encrypted flash drive, and you rip the wiring out of the computer’s back, smashing the server tower. Mission accomplished.

“I guess now that you have what you need, you’ll disappear again.” Tangerine is glaring at you, chewing his lip. His bandage is bloody.

The flood gates open.

“I needed these files!” You shout, worsening the headache you already have.

Tangerine shouts back, taking a step closer. “I would have understood if you had just told me!”

“I couldn’t have told you!”

“Why not?”

“Because—well—I didn’t—It doesn’t matter now!”

“So, you disappear for months, without a word, for something you won’t even tell me about?!”

“I didn’t want to involve you! I wanted to get this done myself!”

“I’m involved now!”

“It was a shitty coincidence you showed up here today, and I’m sorry you got hurt because of this job!”

“I’m not concerned about me!”

“Well, you should be! I care about your safety!”

“And I care about yours!”

In the corner, Lemon shakes his head.

You hold your arm, trying to work some feeling back into it. It throbs and you wish you hadn’t. “I would have come back after this was done.”

“Oh, really?” Tangerine laughs dryly. “How was I to know?”

You groan, throat turning dry. “You’re so impatient! I just needed a little time!”

“You know how often I tried to reach you—?”

“Yes! I heard every message, got every bouquet of flowers—and thank you for my porch, that was really nice.”

Tangerine flounders a little, he still wants to argue, but some of the steam has been let out. “A thank you would have been nice.”

“I’m thanking you now!”

“A whole good that did when I thought you were done with me—” He shoots a look at his brother, “—and Lemon!”

“I’ll say I’m sorry a thousand more times, Tangerine! Is that what you want?”

He turns his back to you, grumbling something.

“I don’t understand why it was such a big deal to you, we’re contractors! We kill people for a living, and you’re freaking out—”

He spins back around. “It’s a big deal because I thought you were hurt.” He stalks closer, you notice his hair has come undone from the neat gel, curls flair out around his neck. “I thought something happened to you!” He’s within arm’s distance now. “It’s a big deal because I love you!”

And then he stops. His eyes go wide, as if he’s just spilled a secret.

Fuck, he did just spill a secret. Maybe you had known, but he’s never said anything. It was always just little guesses here and there, a thought—a feeling—and inclination. Late nights, especially recently, that you spent thinking about it, wondering.

Your mouth falls open in the silence. “I—I…love…” but damned if your mouth just wasn’t getting it out.

Arguing and bickering was so much easier.

But he knows, he can see it in the way your eyes soften, in the way you swallow with a dry throat. In the way your hand reaches to him, and your body leans forward.

“You know…” Lemon says, looking up from his phone, “Most people would kiss at this point. Just a suggestion.”

A quip, a very fitting one, comes to mind and you’re about to tell Lemon just how you’re not normal people, when Tangerine pulls you to him. Your chest presses to his and his lips are on yours in an instant.

Hungry, needy. It’s desperate, an urgent need be close, to be touching. Burning with desire and hot with passion. You give into it.

His mustache scratches at your lips and you pull him into you, threading your fingers through his curly hair, mussing it up even more. His hands grip at your back, pull at your clothes.

Closer. You need to be closer.

Fuck air, the feeling of his lips moving against yours is the only thing you’ll ever need again.

Your arm throbs and the dull pulse shoots up to your chest. You sigh, half in pain and half in pleasure. Unfortunately, Tangerine pulls back. There’s blood on his lips and he looks concerned.

“Wait…” You mumble, trying to pull him back to you. He’s your lifeline now.

“You need a doctor, love.”

“Just a little longer.”

Tangerine chuckles, wrapping an arm around your back. “After you’re patched up. I promise.”

…Bonus…

“You’re going to ‘break into my house and wait for me to come home’?”

Tangerine groans, throwing his head back as you walk into the small office. Private clinics with ‘respectable’ doctors. Gotta love ‘em.

“Love, I didn’t mean it, I was in a life-or-death situation—I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking—”

You give a good-natured laugh, sitting next to him. You’d been patched up first, Tangerine was just waiting for some blood work to come back.

Tangling your fingers in his you give his hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m just teasing, Tan. I know.”

“Ok.” He sighs, giving your hand a squeeze back. “Good.”

You ruffle through your pockets to pull out your phone, your arm stings, but the pain medication the doc gave you does wonders. “I thought about it, I think you deserve to know why I was after your target.”

He looks at you with new interest now.

You tilt your screen to show him.

It had pictures of you and Tangerine. Pictures of you sitting together at lunch, laughing. Pictures of you walking down the street together, arm in arm. Pictures of you looking like a couple.

“Oh,” he breathes out, “I see.”

“I was worried you’d be put in danger if these…well, if they got into the wrong hands.”

“Didn’t want our clients to think we were softies either, huh?”

“That too.”

He presses his face into your hair. He hasn’t expressed his feelings for you again, but you’re starting to realize he always had—just through actions instead. A gentle hand on the small of your back. Wrapping an arm around your waist. Leaning down to speak softly into your ear.

These were just as much of an expression as words.

“Will we have to do this every time?” he asks, voice muffled slightly.

“Every time what?”

“It’s only a matter of time before more pictures of us make it into someone’s hands.”

“Oh. That’s a good point.”

He pulls you a little closer. “I’ll be dammed if I have to stop taking you out over that.”

“Then I guess we’ll just have to kill whoever tries something like that again.”

“We’ll do it together next time, yeah?”

“Absolutely.”

#Tangerine x Reader #Fem!Reader #Tangerine Bullet Train #Bullet Train

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cosplayinamerica · 4 years

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Cosplay Repair by Rocket Props

My name is Jacob LaRocca. I am an electro-mechanical engineer, who has always been a scifi, fantasy, video game, and comic nerd. I played with legos and k'nex my whole life, and that translated into a bit of a niche medium in middle school -- Duct Tape. I'm not talking about duct tape wallets, or things like that. I'm talking about prop swords, axes, weapons, and larger models. It only grew from there.

All through college, I found myself commissioned to make props and models, mostly swords and hand prop replicas from movies and video games. I attended my first New York Comicon in 2012, and IMMEDIATELY was hooked. I attended a number of conventions, and started to interview prop and costume YouTubers for a podcast at the time.

This is really where my passion started to grow. I found some people in my area who also loved cosplay, and we started hanging out and making together.

My first Dragon Con was where the itch to repair costumes hit me. I was still only starting to develop my own skills in cosplay, and had only brought one costume. After wearing the costume for a few days (and through the parade) there were a number of reasons why I didn't want to keep wearing it.

I realized that I had brought nearly ALL of my supplies with me as I hadn't finished it before I arrived, so I went to the pharmacy, bought a huge piece of cardboard, some markers, and a few things I didn't have with me and started repairing costumes. I've attached a picture of the sign.

The response was overwhelmingly positive, and I got to meet SO many incredible people and cosplayers, as that year, the con didn't have a booth for repairs. I absolutely loved getting to see people's costumes up close, and as a cosplayer myself, It made me so happy to be able to help people fix the unexpected problems they weren't prepared to, and let them show off all the hard work and passion they put in!

I think the most fun part so far, is trying to figure out how to fix things with whatever is on hand. Its a fun and interesting problem, and rather than carrying EVERYTHING possible, I've narrowed down my tool set to basically be able to fix 95% of the problems I encounter.

This Zoidberg Jesus by @KevinClose is still one of my FAVORITE stories to tell. I fixed a few of the parts of his costume over the course of this Dragoncon because I vividly remember fixing his claw, and hearing this very Zoidberg-like noise as he slurped the built up condensation out of the glove that had been spirit gummed to his face. It was so gross and hilarious, I could barely fix his claw. Cosplay has brought so much to my life. I am a people person, and always have been, so the aspect of community is a huge part of it. I love seeing people passionate about something, and I love helping them express that passion. I currently teach classes in foam fabrication, and am constantly 3D printing something for the myself of someone else.

For the most part, the cosplay community is incredibly welcoming to any and all. I think the biggest thing cosplay has brought to my life is a little bit of focus on where to spend my boundless creative energy that a day job doesn't necessarily let me use.

Cosplay can literally involve any amount of fabrication techniques, power tools, hand tools, and more. It has given me the excuse to expand my toolset and knowledge to use every single tool in the 40k square foot makerspace I am a member of.

Mostly, I feed of others' passion, so when someone is passionate about cosplay or character, or a character in a movie has clearly been designed with passion and skill, I immediately feed off that passion and can create something myself using that energy. Eventually, I hope to turn Rocket Props into a full time job, educating, creating, and making things that inspire people.

I am open for commissions, both for 3D modeling and fabrication.

Find out more http://www.rocket-props.com/

Total Repairs since 2015 Cosplay Repairs: 2500 + Record in One Convention: 372 over 4 Days (SDCC 2017) Bottles of SuperGlue Used : 21 Bottles of Accelerant Used : 3 Sticks of Hot Glue Used : 100+ Bobby Pins: 300+ Safety Pins: 2000+ Shoes Repaired : 30+ Sewing Repairs : 500+ Duct Tape Rolls Used: 10+ Gaff Tape Rolls Used: 10+ Zip Ties Used : 500+

You can see the full list of tools I carry on my website, but I would say you can fix the majority of problems with the following.

Medium Viscosity Superglue Superglue Accelerant Hot Glue Gun (Batter Powered or Lighter) Black Gaff Tape Heavy Duty Duct Tape Bobby Pins Safety Pins Wig Tape (Useful for all SORTS of things) Sewing Kit with Straight and Curved Needles Leather Awl with Waxed Nylon Thread

BONUS: Bamboo Skewers

#cosplay repair #cosplay 911 #dragoncon #nycc #sdcc #cosplay medic #cosplay #cosplay interview

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isagrimorie · 4 years

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Expanding on this post about the Kingdoms of Etheria

I love worldbuilding and I love She Ra but boy was it frustrating trying to figure out the government systems of Etheria -- and also, the hierarchy of rank within Hordak’s Horde.

But also, I like to think about this stuff.

IMO these were the best managed Etherian Kingdoms and Principalities before Adora and Catra entered the war and forever changed the status quo between the Etherian Kingdoms and the Horde.

Bright Moon-- Mostly because of Angella, who brings with her both experience and Institutional Memory. As a long lived, ageless being she has ruled Bright Moon before Hordak crash landed into Etheria. However, Angella was a Peace Time monarch and is not prepared to be a war time queen.

Micah was more adept at fighting, and with the knowledge he learned a thing or three from Shadow Weaver. The loss of Micah was the truest blow to the first Princess Alliance, because I bet he was an adept commander before his exile.

Kingdom of Snows - Because of their distance from the front lines and strategic superiority they’re the second best managed kingdom in Etheria. Their people are safe and their trade routes are also hard to attack, whatever they’re exporting has kept the Kingdom of Snows afloat before Frosta’s parents died.

The succession plans for the Kingdom of Snow seemed to have been prepared very well because Frosta was able to step into her parents shoes without any issues and her subjects and people seem loyal and fiercely protective.

Netossa and Spinnerella’s Principalities (er, whatever they are). Judging how organized both Netossa and Spinnerella are and how much they still honor the Alliance, which frankly Angella and Glimmer should have appreciated more, I would bet dollars to donuts they’re actually both well defended and ran really well).

Salineas - There’s no mincing words here, Mermista’s father ran Salineas to the ground. We don’t know if it’s because he’s incompetent at his job or because of extenuating circumstance like trauma from the first Alliance tanglement with the Horde, it’s pretty clear that Mermista inherited a Kingdom on the brink of destruction. He didn’t even have the decency to abdicate and give Mermista the crown. And honestly, right now I really want more of Mermista’s story because clearer more than ever that Mermista held Salineas together through sheer will power and duct tape. This made Catra’s invasion of Salineas all the more devastating.

Mermista didn’t even seem to have enough of a budget to hire a Navy. It’s why Adora fixing the Sea Gate was crucial, it was a strategic value for Etheria. The only defense Salineas had before Adora fixed the Sea Gate was Mermista.

Mermista was it. And sometimes when Sea Hawk’s around, Sea Hawk.

Dryl.... I have actually no idea how it’s doing, I’m assuming the country is like Belgium (did y’all know it had no government from 2019 to 2020??? I didn’t know that. Did you??) and works without a leader. And probably the laws and system of government left behind by Entrapta’s --who is apparently 30 years old-- parents were in place before the Horde took over. As bad as the Horde takeover was, it was probably one of the few places that did benefit for having some kind of leadership.

Plumeria - I guess Plumeria is Etheria’s version of Tibet? Maybe? But also maybe didn’t have time to prepare her how to rule.

In any case out of all these Kingdoms and Principalities the only ones that were actively stopping the Horde’s advance was Bright Moon and Spinerrella and Netossa’s princiaplities (uh, whatever they’re called).

The other kingdoms/principalities seem to have retreated into their own borders, understandably more preoccupied in keeping their own lands and people safe.

#thinky thoughts #netflix: she ra #etheria #etherian kingdom

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tabloidtoc · 4 years

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Life & Style, September 7

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Alia Shawkat having Brad Pitt’s baby -- news sends Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston spiraling

Page 1: Photo Flash -- Anthony Anderson was the first performer to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame during the COVID-19 lockdown so he was honored without cheering crowds or paparazzi and with only close family members present

Page 2: Contents

Page 4: The top 10 sequins looks -- Ana de Armas, Keke Palmer, Taylor Swift, Gal Gadot, Shailene Woodley

Page 5: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Kerry Washington, Kylie Jenner, Nina Dobrev, Florence Pugh

Page 6: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are shopping a top-secret project to Hollywood execs that’s sure to drive an even bigger wedge between the royals -- everyone is intrigued about what goes on within palace walls and they hold the key to a vault of royal secrets and while nothing has been green-lit yet Queen Elizabeth is likely bracing herself and she’s still livid about Finding Freedom

Page 8: Khloe Kardashian is being accused of heavily over-editing a selfie that went viral in May after fans compared the pic to a clip from Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Miley Cyrus called it quits with Cody Simpson earlier this month and now she’s swearing off men altogether and she’s already hooking up with a mystery woman, Kelly Clarkson filled in for Simon Cowell during the first week of live America’s Got Talent shows after he broke his back and Kelly has plenty of experience under her belt when it comes to talent contests but she acted like a total know-it-all and Sofia Vergara was particularly upset because this was supposed to be her time to shine during her first season only to be upstaged by Kelly

Page 10: The Week in Photos -- Sofia Richie struggled to keep her balance while paddleboarding in Malibu

Page 11: Mariah Carey and Millie Bobby Brown, Ana de Armas and Ben Affleck share a black-and-white selfie on his 48th birthday

Page 12: Will Smith pranked fans by pretending Jason Derulo has knocked out his front teeth with a golf swing, Mark Ruffalo and his rescue cat Biscotti, Iggy Azalea left a photo shoot in full hair and makeup with her newborn son Onyx

Page 14: Sarah Jessica Parker was caught pulling at her hair while helming the floor of her SJP shoes flagship store, Adam Sandler with two basketballs, Gal Gadot ate a plate of spaghetti in an all-white outfit

Page 16: Stars Behaving Badly -- Steve-O duct-taped himself to a Hollywood billboard, Lady Gaga flipped off the camera while modeling a Knight Finger ring, Mama June Shannon’s dress flew up outside her home in Jensen Beach, Florida

Page 18: Say What?! James Corden on being able to find happiness anywhere, Heidi Klum on her vegetable garden’s most bountiful crop -- squash, Tiffany Haddish on her new shaved ‘do matching boyfriend Common’s look, Katy Perry on her voluptuous pregnancy body, Miley Cyrus on her father Billy Ray Cyrus enjoying quarantine

Page 20: Rumors are swirling that Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz have secretly tied the knot after Victoria Beckham shared a photo of her son wearing a gold wedding band on his ring finger -- the couple may also be expecting their first child after Nicola shared a photo of the pair alongside the caption Baby B

Page 21: Lady Gaga and boyfriend Michael Polansky have hit a rough patch due to their drastically different personalities; Gaga is a ball of energy while Michael is more chill, Scott Disick was spotted leaving flirty comments on Kourtney Kardashian’s swimsuit pics after splitting from Sofia Richie -- Sofia couldn’t handle Scott’s issue and he has trouble opening up to anyone except his ex Kourtney

Page 22: Cover Story -- Brad Pitt’s big baby news -- as Brad and Alia Shawkat take the next step in their relationship his shocked exes Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston are left reeling

Page 26: After Kelly Preston’s sad passing Olivia Newton-John helps John Travolta heal -- as John mourns the love of his life longtime pal Olivia gives him a shoulder to cry on

Page 28: Hayden Panettiere’s nightmare continues as she’s tortured by her ex -- as Hayden’s former boyfriend prepares to face trial in his domestic violence case a troubling new charge is added of influencing or intimidating a witness

Page 30: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian faking it -- though her marital issues are far from over Kim is trying to make it look that way

Page 32: Who Lives Here? Miley Cyrus

Page 34: Entertainment

Page 35: Star Review -- Audrina Patridge, As Seen On-Screen -- Andy Samberg wore Ray-Ban’s Clubmaster Wood Lenses sunglasses costing $203 in Palm Springs

Page 36: Shop Now -- exercise essentials -- Lucy Hale

Page 38: Beauty Beat -- pucker up -- Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Page 40: Diva or Down-to-Earth? Jax Taylor takes out the trash -- down-to-earth, Heidi Klum has a style posse -- diva

Page 41: Brandi Glanville washes her own wheels -- down-to-earth, Sylvester Stallone customizes his caddy -- diva

Page 42: Social Stars Posts of the Week -- Christina Aguilera, James Corden and David Beckham, Halle Berry, Dwayne Johnson and daughters Jasmine and Tiana

Page 44: Horoscope -- Virgo Zendaya turned 24 on September 1, They’re Not Together But They Should Be -- Capricorn Irina Shayk and Cancer Tom Cruise

Page 46: Made Ya Look -- Mayim Bialik teams up with Royal Canin for the annual Take Your Cat to the Vet campaign

Page 48: What I’m Into -- Melissa Gorga

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breakthrx · 5 years

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You Make Me Kinda Crazy (Joe Mazzello x reader)

Your new boyfriend Joe is making you un poco loco

Warnings: Agression, horrible writing

disclaimer: I do not think colourblindness is a joke. It was the only way I could incorporate the song into the story. People I know and love suffer from it.

You wake up around 8:30 on a Saturday. It’s one of the few days you can sleep in, but that early morning grind never stops. You hopped out of bed and made a bowl of your favourite cereal Honey Bunches of Oats.

As you were brushing your teeth your phone buzzed,

Joe: Hey, are you busy today?

You: No, why?

Joe: Be at my place for 10:00

You wondered why Joe seemed so urgent. He wasn’t an early morning person. 10:00 was when he normally woke up.

Your closet was a mess, but you had no intent to clean it. You dug around until you found something to wear. You decided on a plain t-shirt and jeans. It was 9:30, you decided you should start your way to your boyfriend’s house.

It was a nice breezy day. The sun was out and was accompanied by a few clouds. Since you could remember, you were completely colourblind. It never really bothered you. Colour wasn’t a big part of your life since you never remember experiencing it. As you look up at the sky you remember Joe said the sky is red. What a silly goose. Even colourblind people know it’s blue, even if they don’t know what blue looks like. The walk to Joe’s house was only about 20 minutes. Walking was the wise choice due to the insane LA traffic. You buzz in at his apartment.

“Hello?” A muffled voice comes through the metal plaque.

“It’s y/n” you reply.

“si mi amor!” says the voice and the door unlocks.

He lived on the 5th floor. The elevator was always slow so you normally choose the stairs. At the top of the stairs you stopped and panted,

“I will never get used to those.” You mumble to yourself.

Joe’s apartment was five doors down on the left. 511 in metal gold letters were nailed into the dark blue door. Joe always told you not to knock, so you didn’t bother to. As you shut the door you noticed his shoe Matt was gone.

“Babe, where do I put my shoes?” You yell.

“Put them on your head!” Joe shouts back.

You were super confused. Just as you were about to kick off your shoes joe walks out of the bedroom with a roll of duct tape, coming at you smirking. He had his own shoe taped to his head. You roll your eyes.

“Oh Joseph, you make me un poco loco sometimes.” You say lovingly.

Before you know it, joe lunges at you and puts duct tape over your mouth. He grabs your wrists and ties them together with shoelaces. You immediately start to panic. Where did all this aggression come from? What happened to the soft boy you used to know?

The last thing you remember is Joe whispering in your ear, “This is what you get for touching my spaghett.”

#joe mazzello #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #joe mazzelo x reader #joe mazzello fanfic #joe mazzello imagine #ben hardy x reader #joe mazzello x you #joe mazzello x y/n #gwilym lee x reader

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jlf23tumble · 6 years

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One Direction holiday gift guide

I feel like the only person who’s willingly seen more useless 1D merch than me is Niall (egads, all the “future Mrs. Tomlinson” shirts!!), so naturally, @fullonlarrie figures I’m the best person to create a holiday gift guide (my money’s on Niall, but he has a million dollars for his holiday budget, and if twitter is to be believed, he’s currently fucking his luxurious couch, so it’s up to me, jeepers, the pressure!!)

Lauren’s original request was for a fan-made 1D calendar, but alas, she’s SOL unless she goes official. The options:

Give me cash money, and I’ll create a calendar from my infamous “undefined” folder; I still plan to make myself an X Factor highlights calendar when the shitshow is over (Louis munching on cheese-bugh-ahs so he doesn’t have to talk to Simon and can listen to his boyfriend’s go-to karaoke song in peace; Louis selling me pens; Louis mentoring while dead on his feet; Louis smiling and judging; Louis glaring; Louis sporting hickeys; Louis sharing snacks with Ayda; Louis hanging out with his pal--and mine!--Dermot; Dermot in general; you get the gist).

Encourage fandom artists to create their own calendar (this would be remarkably easy for them to do, and there are so many great artists out there…use your powers, Luke, I mean, Lauren).

Give Simon Cowell cash money and buy an official 2019 1D calendar to fund his next tit job, hoping someone botches it.

Buy an individual calendar (I found some GREAT Zayn, Louis, and Liam options; Harry’s are hit or hugeeee miss, depending on vendor, and Niall’s are just too “Au Bon Pain” for me, so no links for you).

(Lauren also wants a One Direction beer koozie [cozy? koozy?], but these don’t yet exist outside of the D’s notorious pool party pad...that said, they’re remarkably easy to create, so throw a fiver at a merch blank place and make one! I’m probably gonna throw a fiver at a snowglobe creator so I can make “the hug” extra poignant in my bathroom.)

Okay! So with these individual requests out of the way, let me take you on a deeper dive under the cut with pictures and links. There are literally THOUSANDS of choices for mugs, t-shirts, wall art, phone cases, stickers, notecards, etc., so I highly recommend that you visit redbubble, etsy, or society6 and search for your faves (or make your own), I promise you, you won’t regret it! Instagram’s a great place for pins, my two faves being Miri and Milly. Amazon’s another great resource, but god, there’s a lot of random shit, most of it terrible/good and cheapppp, as only the best form of camp/kitsch can be. My recs under the cut are for things that I would gift my own personal IRL friends.

Let’s start with the individual boys, and I forced myself to limit each one to less than five, but you have my solemn oath that you can easily find at least a dozen wonderful items in your price and cheese range on the sites I mentioned above.

Niall:

This one feels obvious, but you can’t think Flicker and not think candles, amirite? Bonus: you can find one of these for each of the boys:

Similarly, you can find this set for each of the boys, but Niall Nails are the only ones I would ever buy anyone ever:

There are a million tragic lyrics on Flicker, but I think millypins captures this one nicely:

Do I really want to wake up to fetus Niall’s smug-ass outline lording it over me? Nope, but I’d probably stick him in our tacky useless front half-bathroom:

Zayn:

I could be gross and say something about him being a real snacc, but I prefer thinking of Zayn as the band’s cupcake, hence, if I threw a cupcake party, this is what you’d see on top (or maybe Harry…maybe ZARRY, I’d take it next level, yo):

Speaking of Zarry, I love everything in this artist’s shop, but especially this pillow:

Someday soon, I’m doing a “my fave Zayn shirts” zodiac post, and you can bet your ass this one’s gonna be on there. That said, it makes a pretty rad tattoo/sticker, too:

Not too many size options, but wow, these are something I’d actually wear and enjoy being sorta stealth about (until someone called my ass out in public):

What the WHAT is happening in the Amazon sports section? Compression cycling socks in a variety of sizes/styles, all with this iconic logo action:

Liam:

My car has really gone ~through it with me (skull gearshift knob, barefoot gas pedal, my burning desire to apply flames to the outside of it), but the Liam car chevron seems doable!

Not gonna lie, this is REALLY cute, but don’t let it limit you because the Liam jewelry that’s currently out there is amazing:

Fuck Jesus, what WOULD Liam do???

(I still contend that you can make your own iconic Liam Payne/Mona Lisa sweatpants for about $20, but there’s no link…send me some cash, say, $30, and I’ll make ‘em for you.)

Louis:

I promise you, this’ll be full of LAFFs, some “facts” on Louis, circa 2012:

Do you have a tiny dog? Do you have an appreciation for an iconic Louis shirt that you’d like to see on said dog? Here you go!

So many of Louis’s tattoos are art on their own…why not buy a print and stump your future house guests? These are two separate ones:

Speaking of house guests and parties, this is a sure-fire smash (and again, something that’s available for all the boys, but Louis’s version is especially pretty)…judge your own X Factor contest:

I can’t find my fave rbb/sbb travel mug options, but there are quite a few, so do sbb proud and pick your fave!

Harry:

I actually own this, yet I’ve never taken it out of its wrapper, it’s THAT iconic:

Who can keep all your useless work account login information secrets better than Harry Styles? Answer, no one except for Liam (tbh, the previous version of this book is what stores all mine):

I wish this existed in actual book form, but still, pretty damned cool, and you can print them out/frame them, if you’re really good:

“Hip pack,” it’s a fanny pack, a bum bag, and I love it!!

One Direction as a collective:

Oh, Jesus, okay, there is SO MUCH OUT THERE, and most of it is garbage, but it’s fun garbage, so here’s what I would give to a fellow fan, assuming they didn’t already own ALL of it.

These still exist, they still work, and don’t kid yourself, Niall brushes his very own teeth with one (according to my insider…the insider is my imagination):

Would I buy a larrie friend this low-key larrie beach towel? You bet your fucking ass I would:

Wow, people want a lot for the One Direction Monopoly game, but Monopoly is so fucking boring, so just watch this video instead.

I’m not gonna lie, this perfume is fucking VILE, but buy it for the Larry packaging…between us, I see you, sbb:

I absolutely need this on a t shirt to match my fake-o Joy Division shirt:

Look, the only thing holding my remote control together right now is this duct tape (currently, the panel with Zayn’s face), but I’ve seen a TON of proof that you can make cute shoes, wallets, etc., with it):

It’s easy to lump this in with all the other merch everywhere else on Amazon, etc., but I lmaoooooo because it’s so ~serious, like, I’m a goth but I’m also into normcore because it’s the only true goth at this point, so fuck your glitter version, this is my truth:

If you find others, send ‘em to me! You know I love this garbage!

#one direction #harry styles #louis tomlinson #zayn #zayn malik #niall horan #liam payne #1d #merch #christimas #christmas gift guide #holiday gift guide #gift guide

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skizmin · 6 years

Note

50,2,3 with jeongin

Drabble Game! Jeongin

(this is so bad i cant write jeongin srbfhkjcbgbgwe)

prompt: 50 have you ever been serious in your life? 2 do you ever shut up? 3 make me

genre: fluffffffffffff, best friend jeongin who’s pining, jeongin is also an artist. unresolved/open ending

You huffed as your tired legs dredged up the large hill, following an energetic Jeongin.

“I don’t even like hiking, why am I here?” You grumbled for the umpteenth time, readjusting your backpack readily filled with 5 water bottles from Jeongin’s mum who rambled about your health for 30 minutes too long (your back pain was telling you otherwise).

“Because you agreed after I guilted you into it.” The boy ahead of you replied, throwing his head back with a smile before continuing to scale up the hill.

“I know that. It’s just, ugh. I don’t even need to be here.”

“Yes you do, you gotta be in my presence always. Duh.” He stopped walking, waiting for you to catch up so he could help you up a particularly steep piece of rock. He’d worn his proper high grip sports shoes whereas you, owning nothing similar, had chosen your trusty converse that were in your favourite colour. The colour, not surprisingly, did not help you climb this massive hill.

“Shut it, brace face.” You huffed. Normally someone would be offended at your insult, but your best friend just sighed contentedly.

“And yet, dear Y/N, the boys and girls still dig me.” You scoffed at his words, he was too well loved for his own good, that’s for sure.

You reached up your hand, grabbed his to ready yourself running up the steep piece of rock in front of you. After that there was only 5 more metres until the peak of the tall hill.

“We’re here!” Jeongin said excitedly, walking to an area where you could look out onto your small town without the trees blocking your view.

“What am I supposed to do while you’re drawing again?” You queried him, dropping your backpack with a clunk behind him.

“Well, you can eat, drink water, uh. Walk around?” He turned to you, a child like guilty-hopefulness glazing them. “Oh! I know, why don’t you just draw with me?”

“Jeongin. I can’t draw.” You challanged him with a bored stare.

“Oh come on. Just because you genuinely suck at something doesn’t mean it’s impossible to do.”

“Hey!” Jeongin had rightfully received a whack on the arm from you.

Eventually, you agreed to sketching with Jeongin. It started out drawing the surrounding nature and views, but soon turned into drawings of your cat from memory which looked more like a mix between a massive headed bird and some kind of… elephant? You didn’t know, but it made Jeongin laugh which sorta made your heart swell.

“Okay, okay Y/N! I wanna talk with you.” You furrowed your brows at him. He was wiping a few stray happy tears that fell from his eyes and letting out a few more dying laughs.

“What is it? You don’t like my cat?”

Jeongin laughed and rolled his eyes. “No, idiot. I wanna tell you something.”

“If it’s insulting my cat then I don’t wanna hear it.” You placed your hands over your ears and hummed Mary Had A Little Lamb.

Jeongin grabbed your hands and pulled them away from your ears before you even finished the first 7 notes, still laughing lightly.

“Oh god, do you ever shut up?” He laughed again.

“No, and you can’t make me. I can speak through all kinds of duct tape available an-”

“I like you.”

You stopped your sentence at his words. Oh, so he can make you shut up. Funny, that is.

You fumbled with your words, not really finding how to reply. Of course you liked him back, you had for years and were waiting to confess to him yourself bu-\

“I guess you’re not that hard to shut up, huh?” Jeongin smiled, entwining his fingers between yours as you shook your head.

“Have you ever been serious in your life?”

You looked up to find him still smiling, and honestly, you felt like you were on top of the world (maybe climbing that hill was worth it).

hope you enjoyed it!!

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pixiealtaira · 6 years

Text

Dragged Kicking and Screaming ( 6/ 22)

Title: Dragged Kicking and Screaming

Or How Burt Hummel Mashed the Hummels and Hudsons Into One Functioning Family.

Characters(s): Kurt, Burt, Carole, Finn, with short appearances by the New Directions guys and various ops who mostly take up space. Rating: PG13 Summary: Somehow the Hummel household and the Hudson household had to come together…

Chapter One Chapter Two

Chapter three Chapter Four Chapter Five

What it all boiled down to though was that on Saturday, Kurt was working on about four hours of sleep when the guys that Carole and Finn had invited to the Third Annual Hudson Lights Party showed up at 7am, ready to be fed breakfast before starting to work. Kurt had been sleeping on the living room couch because Finn had locked the bedroom and Kurt at nearly 3am didn’t want to cause a huge fuss. Finn wasn’t even awake yet to greet his friends, so Carole made Kurt act as host and make breakfast. In the first twenty minutes, the boys had knocked a coffee onto one of Kurt’s bags (‘It was just the bag that holds my shower caddy and face scrubs and lotions and stuff like that, Dad. It is dark and won’t show the stain and everything in there can be wiped down or replaced easily. I even have an extra hairbrush and toothbrush here at the house anyway…I am sorry about the carpet though. I think maybe steam cleaning it might work…’), tipped over the box that contained all Kurt’s desk belongings from Dalton and then didn’t pick it up so the pens and pencils ended up kicked from one end of the house to the other, and decided to go through Kurt’s suitcases and make fun of his choice in underwear and his uniforms and his pajamas and his regular clothing (and got upset when Burt finally got the laptop and the books from the box picked up while Kurt picked the papers that were spread all over like they’d actually been picked up and tossed and told them to stop with the teasing). Puck and Sam showing up at that point helped corral the worst of the lot and Kurt took off to take his stuff out of the living room (three trips putting it back out into his SUV, which he then locked), even though Carole was upset with him for leaving the boys and not being a good host. He didn’t even stay outside, but came back in and got the guys all sitting down and engaged in the TV and watching cartoons before he even was able to get dressed in clean clothing and do any sort of morning activities, like brush his teeth and hair or use the toilet. Still, Breakfast was served at 8am and Finn decided to make his appearance finally.

Kurt didn’t lose his cool at breakfast. He didn’t respond in any way other than to move when one of Finn’s football buddies pushed him out of the chair he’d sat down in. He didn’t do anything other than get himself a new plate when Football Nelson took his plate (football Nelson had already eaten a full plate of his own). Kurt didn’t even answer in anyway other than calmly when Finn noticed him there and questioned his presence, while stuffing food Kurt had made into his mouth. Even Burt was getting ready to lose it then. It didn’t help that Carole had decided to make herself champagne and Orange Juice to go with her pancakes and omelet.

(“Mom, what’s he doing here?” Finn whined, with his mouth full.

“Don’t speak with your mouth full, honestly! I live here, Finn.” Kurt replied, rolling his eyes.

“No, you don’t. You live at Dalton.”

“No, I boarded at Dalton, and I don’t anymore. My vacation started yesterday. I don’t go back to school until the 10th of January. And even then, I’m driving back and forth next semester. I live here.” Kurt explained slowly, like he was talking to a small child.

“Mom! He can’t be here, he doesn’t live here! And if he doesn’t have to go to school, I don’t either.” Finn hollered. Other people at the table looked at him trying to figure out what he was talking about.

“Finn, your school doesn’t start break until the 22nd, you have to go and if you don’t go you will not get any Christmas presents!” Burt told him.

“You can’t say that. Mom, tell Burt he can’t say that!”

“Finn, dear, Kurt will be working, won’t he Burt.” Carole said. “I’m sure Kurt will be working every day you have to be at school, because it wouldn’t be really fair if Kurt had so much free time when you didn’t.”

“We’ll talk about it later, Carole.” Burt said. “However, it is not Kurt’s fault his school gets out for vacation earlier than Finn’s.”

Kurt shrugged. “I guess I could finish up the other things that need to be done while at the shop. I don’t mind. But I won’t work if it will effect anyone else’s hours negatively or if my time will be a problem since I wasn’t scheduled in. I also have to finish the supplemental courses that I started in August, so it’s not like I’d be bored if I can’t work. Not to mention the all rest of the things that need to be done for the holiday season.”

“You’ll work for free, of course.” Carole said.

“Can’t. I’m a certified worker. And Union. I have to be clocked in and out and the taxes have to be done properly.” Kurt said. “Dad has a bit of leeway, because it is a family business, but not much due to union issues. However me being certified was way better than me not being certified.”

They all ignored Carole’s glass slamming against the counter and her plate being pushed away as she exited the room, supposedly to get the boxes they would need. The boxes had been sitting in the corner of the dining room for three days already.)

Kurt didn’t respond with anything more than a whined ‘Dad!’ when Finn said not only were they only using Hudson lights and decorations but Kurt wasn’t invited and couldn’t help after Kurt asked if he needed to get the boxes of lights and outdoor items from the shed. And Kurt didn’t lose it when Carole told him to wash all the dishes and then make sure the bathroom was clean enough for their company. Kurt did mutter about how the boys were used to using the restrooms and locker rooms at the high school, of course a bathroom without crap smeared on half the surfaces was clean enough, but he didn’t yell or scream or even refuse. He cleaned up and checked out everything, even doing a quick clean of the bathroom.

The dark circles under Kurt’s eyes and his stance, which was not his normal good posture but more an exhausted sag, had Burt sending Kurt up to the master bedroom to catch some more sleep as soon as he heard Finn telling a few boys who didn’t want to actually go outside to go to the bedroom downstairs and play video games on Finn’s TV. Carole got upset –she didn’t want Kurt in their bedroom snooping about- but Burt asked if she was going to have Kurt help with the lights after all and she backed down and went back to her doctored orange juice and watching TV on the small TV in the kitchen that had come to the house with the Hudsons. When Burt looked in on him at 9:30, less than ten minutes after he sent him up, his boy was sound asleep.

By 10am, only an hour after the start of ‘putting up the lights, Hudson style’, Burt should have questioned things. In that hour six packing boxes, the square ones labeled books, stuffed full of strings of lights had been dumped out on the Hummel’s front lawn…in the snow. In little squares were piles of lights in a tangled mess. Personally Burt couldn’t figure out why the lights were outside in the first place but it was apparently a Hudson thing. The boys were supposed to untangle them and see which worked and which didn’t. No one was doing so; they were running around pushing each other on the ice and into the snow. It wasn’t until Carole came out and shouted about finding the power strips that anyone looked at the tangled masses of lights after they dumped them out. She handed them off to one of the football players and Burt went over to look at what Puck and Artie were doing…which was laying out huge inflatables along the front of the yard. Burt could only be glad Kurt wasn’t seeing those yet. Burt turned around just in time to see the football player who’d been given the power strips kick snow at one of the other boys, right onto the power strips which were plugged into the socket that had been covered by duct tape so it couldn’t be used. The socket directly hooked into the inside electric system. Not one of the well-grounded sockets that were not covered by duct tape which were all on their own breakers and system, one designed for outside electric use and one which did not short out things in the house…of which the kid had ten options…one less than a foot away.

The snow getting into the ‘not for outdoor use’ power strip popped the fuse and Burt watched the lights in the dining room all go out. He heard the alarms on the smoke detector and carbon monoxide detector start up. He heard Carole yelling about how to make the noise stop. He saw Kurt at the window glaring down at the boys in the yard who were still pushing each other around and kicking snow at each other for the most part. Kurt left the window and a few moments later the noise stopped and the lights came back on. Kurt then marched out of the house, no shoes on, and removed the power strip and then replaced the duct tape.

“Everybody look at me NOW!” Kurt shouted in a louder voice than Burt was aware his son owned. He sounded a bit like that batty cheerleading coach, which was probably where he learned how to do the voice.

All the boys looked his direction.

“Listen up, you imbeciles. You can plug things into outlets…the little holes that you put the end of the cord into…that have no tape over the covers. Tape….no pluggy. No tape…yes pluggy. Oh, and remember electricity and water are not happy together…together they can make owies.” Kurt said with a smile…of a sort. Half the boys still looked confused.

“Dude. There’s no water around here. It’s winter.” One of Finn’s football friends said.

“Snow is like water, Randy.” Puck yelled.

“No it isn’t.” Someone else yelled.

The whole lot started screaming and yelling at each other about it…and Burt was terribly disappointed that Finn was on the snow wasn’t water, not really, side of the mess. Kurt just rubbed the bridge of his nose and went back into the house, shaking his head.

Puck and Mike, after watching the piles of lights nearly get stepped on twice and having close calls themselves in the shoving matches going on in the yard, took Artie to the living room where they got started untangling the lights that Puck had also fetched from the front yard. It was not going well…and everything was damp because the lights had all been covered in snow. Sam came and joined them, nursing a slightly black eye. Burt brought him an ice pack and told Puck that maybe if he plugged an end in he could at least see which lights went to that strand. They had only managed to free three strands of lights by the time 11:30 rolled around and Finn and the crowd came in demanding lunch. Nothing had really been accomplished outside that Burt could see. Burt watched as Carole put the sandwich supplies out and then got everyone mad at him when he kept the hoard from eating until Puck, Artie, Sam and Mike had got their food. By the time the sandwich supplies had been devoured and nothing but empty plates were left, Puck and the other Glee club boys (minus Finn) had freed four more stands of lights that worked and three that did not work.

#glee fanfic #burt hummel #Kurt Hummel #hummel household

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news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog · 5 years

Text

15 prom horror stories that will make your skin crawl with embarrassment

Prom night is supposed to be a magical milestone of high school. You're dressed to the nines, you dance the night away, and make memories that will surely last a lifetime. Right?

Prom is often as much of a sweat-filled, hormonal nightmare as any other school dance, just with more expensive clothing and the massive anxiety spike that comes with expectations to have the best night of your life.

Nobody's prom was perfect for everyone. Maybe someone spiked the punch at your prom and you didn't even catch a buzz. Maybe your prom dress caught on fire, or your date ended up making out in the bathroom with someone else.

SEE ALSO: 'Take Back the Prom' campaign aims to end prom discrimination

Here are the best prom horror stories that will, if you've had one, maybe make you feel a little better about your own prom experience.

1. Totally twinning. 💃💃

"Mine is so boring and not at all spicy, I was wearing the same Jessica McClintock [dress] as my date's ex girlfriend. She offered to meet me out side to talk it out and I declined." — Samantha C.

2. Well, at least he wasn't your date.

"My friend got stood up and my brother had to come to my prom. He wore my dad's suit. I was more humiliated than my friend 🤦‍♀." — Megan J.

3. But did you get to sing "Heart of Glass"? 🎤

"A bunch of us went to a karaoke place for after prom. A lot of people got drunk and spilled ice on the table and thought they broke glass, [and] got us kicked out of the place. I'm still worried about going to karaoke places in K-Town to this day." — Emily Z.

4. They took the midnight bus going... nowhere.

"The party bus I was on didn't clear a porte-cochère at the hotel our prom was at. It got stuck, and our parents had to come pick us up." — Alex F.

5. Really "Made" that prom experience awkward for everyone.

"MTV Made came to my high school and a girl performed a choreographed dance at my prom since she got "Made" into a hip hop dancer... It was really bad." — Jeremy C.

6. Only the best in mood music.👌

"My friends put me in charge of music on the way there and I ended up breaking the radio in the back of the limo while we were still in the driveway and after 20 mins of the driver trying to fix it he said 'I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do but i have a CD if you want me to put that on.' And then we had to listen to Californication by Red Hot Chili Peppers as our hype music." — Nicole G.

7. I thought we left duct tape prom dresses in the '00s?

"There were definitely two girls from what I remember whose dresses almost fell apart, but nothing good old duct tape couldn't fix ✂." — Elvie Mae P.

8. Wow. 😧

"All was fine and dandy until we learned that a girl in our prom group had taken acid when she tore her dress off and went crazy at the actual dance. She got carried off (and we later learned that the stunt got her prematurely kicked out of the college she'd been accepted to). Once we got back on the bus, parent chaperones came on to tell us that the cops would be searching us to make sure we didn't have any more acid and that we should get rid of anything illegal. A couple of us sheepishly walked off the bus and disposed of flasks and weed-related items. I threw away a pot brownie I was saving for the afterparty. The cops never came and searched us." — Harry H.

9. Honestly, they finessed that.

"My boyfriend senior year got mad at me because I was on prom court and had to slow dance with one of the guys on the court. (The guy I danced with was gay.) Also, all my friends realized the event hall where our prom was [held] never closed the kegs, so they all got beer from the taps and our school wasn't allowed back there." — Miller K.

10. Oh boy, buried treasure!

"The boys in my prom group buried beer in their parent’s backyard to be retrieved at a later date, then forgot where they buried it." — Ruby L.

11. Oof, they should not have let them go. ❄

"Two popular girls somehow convinced the prom committee to stop the music/dancing in the middle of prom to perform an acoustic duet of “Let It Go” from Frozen… and they let them do it." — Sage Anderson.

12. Boats and prom? No thank you. 🛥

"In my high school's attempt to curb drinking/after parties, they organized a big boat post-prom to cruise Lake Michigan for a few hours. While there wasn't any drinking, we were formally allowed to smoke cigarettes and and cigars. Nobody knew how to smoke cigars (a lot of inhaling) and multiple people got sick from smoking too much." — Scarlett A.

13. Bonnie and Clyde whomst?

"After prom my date and I went to a bonfire at a trailer park where they threw so much wood into the pit that they created a fire that was unsafe and terrifying. While everybody was trying to put out the fire my date decided to go into these trailers and steal people’s shoes, and then had me drive her out of the trailer park as everyone was dealing with the fire. I had a major crush on her (she was a senior and I was a freshman) so I had no problem being her accomplice while she enacted this trailer park shoe heist." — Garrett K.

14. Guess you weren't ship-shape. 🚣‍♀

"I didn’t drink in high school, but my friend was dating one of the more popular guys on the soccer team. One of the soccer team jocks had a rager at their house after prom. I went to look after my friend because I knew my crush would be there. Anyway, my crush made me a very strong drink which I drank (although I was not an experienced drinker). Needless to say I woke up feeling very sick then had to sneak out at six in the morning the next day because I was on the sailing team and had to go to a regatta. Boats and hangovers do not mix, people." — Charlotte R.

15. Buckle in folks, this is one rollercoaster of emotions. 😬

My senior year of high school I knew a guy. (Let's call him Matt.) Matt and I had gone to the same elementary school, middle school, and now high school. We weren't exactly friends, but he was one of those guys I was exceedingly nice to considering I'd known him since we both wore pull ups. We worked on AP psych homework together a lot and occasionally chatted between classes.

Anyway, it became apparent that Matt thought I was just the cat's meow and wanted to date, date, date about two months before prom. I agreed to go out with him once and it was not so awesome. (Think him reclining his driver's seat chair in my parents driveway and asking if I wanted to make out before we went on the actual date and then getting kind of angry when I said no.)

So it was a pass from me. But Matt kept asking me out. Every class we had together, he'd ask about my plans and follow up about a second date. He'd text me incessantly, etc. Then, about two weeks before prom, he got suspiciously quiet. I noticed the change, but figured he'd finally gotten the message — I hadn't been subtle about my disinterest. Then, he showed up to the morning announcements.

Every day at the start of classes I would recite the morning announcements with my co-host over the loudspeaker. One Thursday, when I was offering up details on the upcoming Russian class field trip, Matt and the entire football team showed up outside the glass announcement booth with a big sign that said, "Prom?" and a whole bunch of roses. I quickly put together that if I could just get through the announcements and hang up the phone connected to the loudspeaker, I could quietly reject him in front of the team (still about 30 guys) and not the entire school.

But as the words, "That's it for today, enjoy your classes" left my lips, my co-host grabbed the phone and shouted "Matt asked Ali to prom!" broadcasting the news to the whole school. He went to hang up the phone and I bubbled over with panic and embarrassment. Before the phone hit the receiver, I could be heard on the loudspeaker saying in the background, "Why would you do that? I'm gonna say no."

Matt looked wrecked, having heard the news along with the rest of our 800-plus peers over the speaker. I have never felt like a more terrible person. I came outside and we talked about it and I apologized. Ultimately, he asked a very nice sophomore and I went with a guy named Nick who said the word "totally" about 5 times per sentence. So it worked out, but still haunts me." — Ali F.

Yikes.

If you're someone who hasn't yet attended prom, just know that there's no pressure to make this the greatest night ever. You will have many more nights in the future make a fool of yourself or witness others being whole, entire fools.

WATCH: Alfonso Ribeiro denied copyright of "Carlton" dance used in Fortnite

#_uuid:a4bc660e-5731-3822-834a-11438cd53b86 #_category:yct:001000002 #_author:Sage Anderson #_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL #_revsp:news.mashable

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chemical--chaos · 7 years

Text

Blanc (Mafia Au - Himchan x Reader) - B.A.P

Word Count : 3216

Warnings: Blood, violence, kidnapping, slight (implied) sexual content

Plot: Being the leader of a dangerous mafia, you wouldn’t want to fall for the wrong person...

"Hyung is so smitten by that girl." Zelo laughed, earning a glare from Himchan as the six of them entered the bar. Ignoring the teasing from the 5 of them, he made his way down to the bar counter, taking his usual seat as he waited for her to arrive. Her older sister owned the bar, Le Blanc and since she was a couple of years younger, she was still studying but came to help out every night.

"I see you're early." Came a familiar voice and Himchan looked up, meeting her (e/c) eyes as a small smirk played on her lips as she stood behind the bar counter, dressed in a black chiffon blouse and black jeans. "I wouldn't miss my favourite poison for the world." Himchan smirked back, leaning closer to her, resting his head in his hands as his elbows rested on the counter. She threw her head back and laughed, her soft voice ringing through Himchan's ears like music.

"So I presume it's the usual then?" She asked, and Himchan nodded. (Y/N) had been working at the bar for a year now, she'd always see the six boys come in every night, with Himchan being the leader of the group. It didn't take long for her to catch Himchan's eye, to him, she was perfect in every sense. Her voice, her eyes, her witty comments, her sharp tongue, she was perfect.

It didn't take long for (Y/N) to prepare Himchan's usual drink for him and she placed it in front of him. "Has the mother ditched her little ducklings?" She questioned, leaning against the counter, causing Himchan to cock an eyebrow at her words. "Isn't it obvious? You're the mother, Yongguk is more the fatherly figure that tries to be scary but isn't, Zelo is your little baby, Daehyun being the embarrassing child, Youngjae is more of the chill uncle and Jongup being the rebellious teen." She finished, causing Himchan to chuckle.

"The mother eh? What time do you get off?" He questioned, running a hand through his dark red hair and adjusted his thick back framed glasses. (Y/N) laughed, before replying to him. "Is mummy worried about me?" She questioned, batting her eyelashes seductively at him.

"Well if you tell me, I'll make you forget everything, the only think you'll remember is how to scream my name." It was Himchan's turn to smirk now as the girl in front of him blushed like crazy. The pair had been flirting with each other for the past 8 months now, continuously going back and forth.

__________

2 months later

"Do you really have to go?" Himchan questioned (Y/N) as she pulled on his hoodie on top of her white blouse. She had spent the night over at his place, watching movies with the six of them and now she had class in an hour. "I gotta have brains, beauty alone won't get me many places." She laughed, leaning down on top of him and placing a kiss on his bare shoulder, Himchan grabbed her wrist, pulling her fully on top of him and flipping the pair around so he was hovering over her.

"Come over tonight, I have to show you something." He smiled at her, before leaning down to capture her lips in a sweet kiss.

____________

"Hyung, stop worrying, it's all fine." Daehyun smiled, watching Himchan pace around the room. "Yeah Himchan, stop it, you're making me feel giddy." Yongguk laughed, watching his friend get so riled up over nothing.

"She's meant to be back by now, something's wrong." Himchan muttered, looking up at Yongguk. As if on cue, the doorbell rang. With Himchan's head snapping towards the door, his concern alleviated slightly as he hoped it was (y/n).

He wasted no time in going towards the door and opening it, anticipated to be met with familiar (e/c) eyes and the same silky (h/l) (h/c) hair he loved so dearly. But instead, he was met with air and the darkness of the night. Furrowing his eyebrows and moving slightly outwards to see who had rung the bell, he heard the familiar sound of crinkling paper under his shoe. Looking down, he saw an envelope on which he had stepped. Being sure he hadn't seen this before, he bent down to pick it up, only to see it was addressed to him.

"Who is it?" he heard Yongguk ask but ignored it with his thoughts running wild as he unsurely looked at the envelope having a foreboding feeling. With curiousity, he started opening it and reached his hand inside to see what was placed in it. Whatever caught his hand, he pulled it out and one gaze was all it took for his blood to run cold and his heart to bleed crimson pain as his eyes widened and it became hard to breathe. It was (y/n).

Beaten to a bloody pulp with her hands tied behind her back, blood dripping from her forehead and duct tape on her mouth. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath trying to calm his body which was trembling in rage and fear.

He crushed the photo in his hand while clenching his jaw trying to remove the photo from his head. He looked down and something caught his eyes. There was writing on the back of the photo. He opened the palm of his hand and straighten the crinkled picture to read what was written behind it.

'Bring back what you stole from us and she'll be yours. Come at midnight under the Kuzanagi bridge and the exchange will be made -T'

"Hyung why ar-" Daehyun stopped midsentence as he caught a glimpse of what was on the photo. "Has she.. Has (y/n) been-"

"Yes" came Himchan's forced reply as he thought of the brutal ways to kill them once he got his hands on the ones who dared touch a single hair on her head. "Make preparations. We'll leave at 11:30" he monotonously replied, moving inside with cold eyes. "What's wrong?" Youngguk stood up when he saw the look on Himchan's face. Not wanting to voice what was going on, he threw the photo at the table and went straight towards the weaponry room.

_____________

"Come out!" Himchan narrowed his eyes with his hand hovering above his gun holster in case something went sideways. His hand tightened around the bag in his hand which had 10 million and cold breeze hit his face as he, along with his other members, went deep under the bridge.

He heard a small whimper coming from the shadows which made his head snap and he pulled out his weapon. On high alert, he ventured into the shadows and the sight he was greeted with made his stomach flip.

There lay his (y/n) covered in blood and half unconscious. "Shit. (y/n)!" he yelled in panic and was about to make a run for her when he heard stomping of feet and lights flashing in their direction along with shouts, "Drop down your weapons and raise your hands in the air! Drop them now!" He heard yells. Cops.

Grunting in annoyance and hearing sighs of exasperation from all around, he turned towards the glaring flashlights, scrunching his eyes and lowering his weapon with other following his actions, trusting their leader. Tazuna sold us out he thought with a dangerous storm of rage brewing inside of him, threatening to burst out. "Hands above your head!" he heard the SWAT team say as one of them inched closer, while others surrounded them completely and he could see (y/n)'s body through the gaps.

"Ma'am, you alright?" Himchan glanced towards the source of the voice in confusion when he heard a grunt from (y/n). "Yeah. Is it done?" he heard her say and scowled, having no clue what was going on and it made him anxious. "Yes ma'am!" the officer saluted and stepped back allowing her to stand making Himchan's eyes widen in disbelief. It was her. It was her all along he thought completely dumbstruck, not wanting to believe his eyes as she wiped the fake blood off of her body with a small 'tsk' and looked up with a smile.

"Nothing personal boys. Just my job" She strolled over to them as the SWAT members backed away for her to come close to the baffled boys. She locked her (e/c) gaze with Himchan's fiery orbs. He had his jaw clenched in anger and gazed at her with cold, calculating eyes.

"(Y/n)?" her head turned towards a very confused Zelo which made her chuckle. "Agent (l/n)" she smiled flashing her badge at them all making Daehyun's temper skyrocket and he lunged at her not caring about the vast amount of guns aimed in their direction.

"You fucking betrayed us" he spat while aiming his fist towards her face and she dodged it with ease.

"As I said before, nothing personal." She nonchalantly replied dodging his yet another blow, but getting a hold of his hand this time and twisting it behind his back with tremendous strength making everyone stare at her with their jaws dropped. Daehyun grunted in pain and dropped onto the ground.

"How? There was no mistaking the writing. It was The Tazuna's" (Y/n) heard Youngjae's melodic voice with a hint of venom who was glaring daggers at her. "Yes, of course. We had to make it seem real now didn't we?" she devilishly smirked.

"They wouldn't stoop as low as to help the cops." She heard Youngguk's strong voice. "After what you guys did to the poor bastards, they were more than ready to get their revenge. Especially since we promised them what was lost" She leisurely strolled around them. "Speaking of, now where is the money?" she turned to look at Himchan and her gaze landed on the duffle bag on the ground next to him. "Ah" she went towards it while feeling his eyes burning holes in her head. Picking it up, she threw it towards the captain.

"Give this to The Tazuna's for their cooperation" she added in a business like voice and turned towards Himchan again who had his hands behind his head just like everyone else. She went towards him and tenderly placed her hand on his cheek making him flinch away and turn his head with a growl leaving his lips. Landing her lips near his ear, she gently whispered, "I'm sorry" and placed a small kiss on his cheek with her lips lingering there for some time. Stepping back and with one fleeting glance, she turned around and walked away.

"Take them to the precinct for now"

_____________

"I can't believe this" Daehyun groaned while banging his head against the cell wall lightly. "None of us can" Zelo sourly mumbled with his eyes downcast. They all had sensed the dark, murderous aura around Himchan and none dared to speak a word to him.

Hearing some hurried footsteps, they curiously turned their heads to look who was paying them a visit. They were greeted by the sight of a police officer with blonde hair, neatly combed back and beads of sweat glistening on his forehead who hurriedly turned the lock of their prison cell

"Walk straight up ahead towards the back exit which opens in an alleyway. From there, turn right and run towards the beginning of the alleyway. Over there are two cabs waiting for you. I've dismissed everyone for the time being but they will be back so get your asses out of this cell and get moving" he said in panic and opened the door fully. Himchan looked at him dumbfounded.

"Why are you doing this and who are you?" he asked standing up along with everyone else.

"I owe someone a favor" he replied and stepped aside making way for the boys to leave. Himchan nodded his head in appreciation and beckoned for his members to come. He had millions of questions running in his head but he wasn't stupid to waste this opportunity of a smooth escape from these prison walls before they got moved to max security jail the next day.

___________

"Yeah?" (Y/n) answered her phone. She'd finally gotten a break, thanks to Himchan and his group escaping, her task force was back in action, searching for them. Even the higher up officers had gotten involved, after all, they were a significant gang.

"Wait, I can't hear you. Let me go outside" she replied moving out of the briefing room towards the back exit. "Hold on. I don't get a word you're saying" she said in exasperation while creasing her eyebrows. Opening the door, she stepped out and was greeted with silence in the thin alleyway. "Go on" she sighed while stretching her tired neck

"The forensics report for the Valkyrie case is ready. Come and pick the files up in an hour" she heard Emma's soft voice from the other side."Is that seriously all you wanted to say? You could've texted me you know" she chuckled while shaking her head.

"Who knows when you would've seen the text I-" (Y/n)'s attention got diverted immediately as soon as she felt something cold touch her neck. "Drop the call" She heard the familiar voice of Jongup but remained oddly calm.

"Emma, I'll call you back. Something came up" she didn't wait for an answer and immediately put the phone down about to face him. "Don't" he hissed, burying the barrel of his gun deeper into her neck. "keep walking now" he said, talking a hold of her arm and leading her to the black SUV parked at the end of the alley.

"Where's the rest of the gang?" She smirked, getting in the car to see Daehyun in the backseat and Youngjae up the front, both glaring daggers at her. Daehyun clenched his fist, memories of her betrayal still fresh in his mind but before he could act, Youngjae stopped him, "Himchan hyung is dealing with her, he said not to touch her."

"Ahh, Chanie, how he is?" She chuckled, only for Jongup to lean over and place a blindfold on her eyes as Daehyun tied her hands together and unaware to all three of the boys, she let them, after all, she was more than capable of fighting all three of them off.

______________

"Hurry up, the police patrols were here 10 minutes ago." Came Zelo's familiar voice as (y/n) was being led through random places, her blindfold still on. "Good to see you too Zelo." She smirked as the young boyas Daehyun pushed her forward, causing her to walk forward.

This ordeal soon stopped as Daehyun forced her to sit down on a chair and removed her blindfold, leaving her hands still tied. "Thank you for your hospitality." She commented as Daehyun left the room and she looked around, before her eyes landing on a familiar figure leaning against the window, Himchan. He slowly walked over to her, taking his dear time, patronising her.

"Nice to see you too." She rolled her (e/c) eyes as she tapped her foot on the ground, the sound of her heel echoing through the small room. Himchan came forward, only for his hand to go under her chin, yanking her head up so she could meet his fiery gaze. He didn't want to hurt her, heck, he loved her, with every fibre in his body but her betrayal had almost cost him his family, his 5 brothers who he'd vowed to protect, he couldn't let his own emotions get in the way of that promise.

"I'm not going to kill you, you don't deserve the easy way out." He growled, letting her head fall as he made his way towards the door. (Y/n) smirked, knowing he couldn't do anything to her, after all, the headquarters by now would know what she had done. She sighed as she continued to struggle against the ropes, twisting and turning her wrists and not caring about the burn marks.

"Himchan!" Came Yongguk's loud yell, even (y/n) heard it. There it was. Himchan rapidly followed Yongguk, only for him to stop him in front of a TV. There it was, her ID photo, flashing bright on the screen.

"Renowned FBI Agent (Y/n) (L/n) is said to have been involved with the escape of notorious gangsters under Kim Himchan. Sources report that she'd had been undercover for more than two years in an attempt to arrest the gang. An insider at the FBI gave the statement that she had become romantically involved with Kim himself and her betrayal to the FBI was coming. For the past three days, sources say she'd been leading her team in circles and CCTV footage has shown her leaving in a black SUV not far from her office." The reporter continued as Himchan's eyes widened. The footage of Jongup and (y/n) entering the car was flashing on the screen, however, the gun Jongup was holding against her was not visible from this angle, making it all look realistic.

"As off now, anyone with any information on her is urged to come forward and an officer at the precinct the group were held in is under investigation." The report concluded and Yongguk turned the TV off as all six of the boys watched in shock. Himchan wasted no time in getting back to the room she was in, only to find that she'd pulled her knees to her chest as her heels rested on the edge of the chair with her head resting upon her knees.

He slowly untied her hands, and she looked up, her bloodshot eyes meeting the soft gaze of Himchan. "I fucked up." She softly said, lowering her gaze and using her left hand to massage her right wrist, which was bleeding.

"They warned me, to not go, Emma warned me, she said that once you go, you can't come back out." She chuckled bitterly, wiping the tears from her eyes away, not wanting to seem weak in front of Himchan who crouched in front of her, slowly extending his hand to her cheek and making her look at him.

"I couldn't live knowing I'd put you away. I just couldn't, my brain fucked up-" And before she could continue, Himchan leaned forward, silencing her with his lips, to which she eagerly responded, by wrapping her arms around his neck, launching herself at him and the pair fell to the floor with her on top of Himchan. Neither of them cared as they devoured each other and there was no mistaking it that these two were insanely in love with each other.

Needless to say, the other 5 boys in the house had quite a hard time falling asleep that night.

_____________

"You threw your entire life away for him, you're actually insane." Emma laughed, drinking her juice as the pair stood in the kitchen of (y/n)'s new house.

"I can't help it, I can't live without him." (Y/n) smiled in response, sipping her coffee as her fiancé came up behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him.

"Thank you Emma, thank you for bringing this crazy girl into my life." Himchan smiled at the retired FBI agent. After all, it to Emma whom the police officer owed the favour.

#b.a.p imagine #b.a.p scenario #b.a.p scenarios #bap imagine #bap scenarios #bap scenario #himchan senario #kim himchan scenario #kpop scenario #himchan fanfic #himchan imagine

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newstfionline · 7 years

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A Reporting Team’s Nuclear Stress Test: Hazmat Suits, Face Masks and 9 Flights of Stairs

By Motoko Rich, NY Times, March 13, 2017

FUKUSHIMA, Japan--We were all a little bit nervous as we entered the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant that had suffered a meltdown six years ago after a major earthquake and tsunami. We had surrendered our cellphones and our passports, given digital prints of our middle fingers and sat in radiation scanners to take note of our baseline levels.

So it cut the tension when Ko Sasaki, a photographer who regularly works for The Times, pointed out a sign in front of the security gates that warned employees and visitors, “Absolutely no playing Pokemon Go on the premises!”

Along with Veda Shastri, a videographer who had flown in from New York, and Hisako Ueno, a researcher in the Tokyo bureau, we were visiting the Fukushima plant to chronicle the continuing cleanup process.

Tokyo Electric Power Company, or Tepco, which operates the plant and is overseeing the cleanup, has made progress toward reducing radiation levels on the plant grounds by paving over much of the site (to cut down on radioactive dust swirling around) and storing waste in cement or steel containers. Still, we all wondered about the risk to our health.

I had consulted a security adviser who has visited Chernobyl multiple times, and he assured me that on a short visit we would be safe as long as we followed precautions and wore protective clothing.

It was my second trip to the plant; the first time around, about three months earlier, I had been restricted to seeing the plant from the inside of a bus, and was required to wear only a vest, gloves and plastic shoe covers.

This time, we were going to be escorted to parts of the plant on foot and would need more protection. Our first stop was the roof of a new building that Tepco had built to house offices, dressing rooms, a canteen and rest facilities for the 6,000 workers on the site.

We were given vests, white cloth gloves and personal dosimeters (devices that measures exposure to ionizing radiation). Tokyo Electric staff members gave the women in the group pink-trimmed vests clearly marked “Ladies,” as well as hard hats, paper masks and glasses.

We exited through a side door, and a press officer pointed to a metal staircase attached to the side of the building. It was about 40 degrees outside (5 degrees Celsius) and windy. The roof was nine flights up.

Climbing while breathing into a bulky mask made me feel lightheaded. Veda, who was carrying her camera, said she thought she might pass out.

The wind was biting on the roof, and Veda and Ko were outfitted with weighted belts so they wouldn’t fall off or fly away while shooting with their cameras.

It was a good place to start our tour, to give us a visceral sense of the scale of the cleanup. In every direction, we could see the tanks (1,000 in total) that contain contaminated water, as well as the sea that had wreaked so much damage on the plant that March day in 2011.

After climbing down from the roof, we loaded onto a bus with grimy windows and duct-taped seats. A Tokyo Electric employee held up a large Geiger counter to monitor radiation levels as we bumped along the roads winding around the reactors where the meltdowns occurred.

We were allowed to get out briefly about 80 meters from Reactor 3, where the monitor spiked to show radiation of 260 microsieverts per hour. (Microsieverts measure the health effects of low levels of radiation on the human body.) At that level, if we stood still in that spot for 16 days straight without any protection, we could be exposed to enough radiation to increase our risk of cancer.

To see as much of the cleanup as possible, we had asked for permission to go into the building that houses a large pool where spent nuclear fuel rods are stored.

For that, we were ushered into a parked trailer, where we donned thick paper hazmat suits with hoods over our winter coats; two pairs of socks; cotton gloves covered by two pairs of rubber gloves; paper head covers and hard hats; filtered gas masks, and rubber boots. As we marched off to the spent-fuel pool, we looked like padded body doubles on the “Ghostbusters” set.

After we entered the spent-fuel building, we changed out of the boots we had worn to walk there and put on another pair to go inside.

Once in the large room with the pool, which was dark and spookily quiet, Tepco officials debated among themselves what, exactly, Veda and Ko could photograph or film. It seemed an odd time to have that discussion.

A sign next to the pool warned visitors not to get too close to the edge, and, rather absurdly, to hold the hands of any children.

We finished the rest of our tour on the bus. After we returned to the main building to take off our gear, most of which went into the garbage, we returned to the radiation scanners and checked our personal dosimeters. After about five hours touring the plant, all four of us had absorbed 30 microsieverts or less of radiation, about .06 percent of the annual allowable dose for workers.

That night I emailed the security consultant again with a report on our visit and a question about whether we should throw away our shoes and the clothes we’d worn underneath our hazmat suits. Despite his reply--“NO NEED TO THROW OUT”--I had lingering fears.

That feeling stayed with me the next day as we toured several evacuated towns and filmed in abandoned neighborhoods. I could understand why so many people are still afraid to return, even as scientists reassure them that the radiation has declined to safe levels.

My heart broke to see all that was left behind. Peering into the windows of one family home, I could see piles of clothes, books, DVDs and magazines. In the living room, a stuffed pink bunny lay on a coffee table. In the kitchen, a little girl’s first-grade calligraphy prize, dated 2008, still hung on the wall, next to a photograph of a boy in his baseball uniform.

And out in the back garden, a yuzu tree bloomed with ripe orange fruit.

#Fukushima cleanup #fukushima nuclear disaster

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dop-jon · 7 years

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Valentines Lulz

In sixth grade, a couple of buddies and myself made celebrated Anti-Valentines Day. Having seen little uptick in our respective romantic fortunes from year to year, our little loveless triumvirate decided to actively campaign against this dread holiday. How did we come to such a low estate, you wonder? I guess I hit bottom the previous year, in 5th grade. Now, we are all familiar with how VD cards are purchased; whether in boxes of 12, 18, 20, 24, or 30, it's not like one needs to trouble themselves with sorting out a classroom's worth of cards. Your mom buys the box, you get muscled into signing them all, maybe you make sure the ones you secretly crush on get the better ones, and then the cards get put into whatever cutesy container was produced to that end in art the next day. So...on February 14, 1984 (that's the worst part VD; if something shitty happens on that day, you are sorta stuck remembering shit like this)...on 2.14.84, after observing all the normal procedures for the day, I received 2 Valentines Day cards. Two. II. Dos. My mom thought I was kidding, maybe they just didn't plainly see my construction paper heart-shaped envelope hung sturdily with the 26 other ones that, not coincidentally, veritably brimmed with cards and candied hearts laden with innocent amorous intentions. So, there I was; sixth grade. It was Keith LaBumbard, Rick Beckett, and myself. My memory isn't what it once was, but I don't think Keith would mind me saying that he wasn't exactly "a looker", Rick had what my brother (who beaned him remorselessly with a matchbox car in his dome a few years back) described as "some shit on his hands", and myself, who had coke bottle glasses, tennis shoes cobbled together with duct tape, and the complexion of a Little Caesar's Hot-n-Ready pepperoni pizza. But that's not the point! It's not the point. The point is we hadn't signed off on the notion that inner beauty transcends and outward ugliness yada yada, so instead of sitting idly by while the girls of the world scorned our existence, we would demonstrate "Save it, ladies. Your holiday can kick rocks." Rick made up three Anti-Valentines Day buttons, we each saw to the discrete disposal of those dreadful cards our parents insisted on purchasing for us, and Keith and I set about stealing and destroying every note that was passed around in class, as if in our blackest rage we could somehow block the very flow of love into the world. We received no cards that year, the three of us, and proud we were of our handiwork. Life, as it must, returned to normal and we set ourselves to the subtle task of socially ridding ourselves of each other. The thing about being so low in the social strata is that no one really wants to be there, regardless of what one might say, and any sort of elevated social relief would be a welcome comfort. What were the first fruits of karma for me on taking such a principled stand at such an early Angry Jon age? I would go on to double my age, 11 years later, before I experienced a Valentines Day that actually meant something to me in a positive way. By that time, I was all too aware that it was indeed some Hallmark scam and that even the potential for me to come emotionally around on the day had passed. Still, 22 years was a long time to go without knowing love. Even still, on February 14, 1996...I don't remember a single detail. Not one. I'm sure I've had fun on this day since, but for the most part, I'd rather just put it the day behind me. To make a sports comparison, once you stop being a fan of this or that team, you can never really be a fan again. You'll never have that emotional purity of when you first became a fan, by birth or by choice is irrelevant, and can only hope for, at best, is that you don't feel like your time is being wasted watching that team. So Happy Valentines Day, Keith LaBumbard! I may go months without your name crossing my mind, but rest assured that you are fondly remembered on this feckless day.

#valentines

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griffithdylan · 4 years

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Can My Neutered Male Cat Still Spray All Time Best Ideas

Is kitty loved and secure in their eyes or a cat sweat, we don't have time to enjoy human company but on their lips, where they want in terms of time to change undesirable behavior - caught red-handed.Most cats will take turns in sneaking up on the floor.It was a neutered male will not have to follow the directions are not seeing them yourself.Cat aggression can actually get the food up but it can smell there urine.

Bacteria turns the water bottle for really stubborn behavior.Behavior problems in feline asthmatic cases unresponsive to other cats, so that your kitty in the United States?This litter clumps like a machine-gun rattle-a noise also made in China.Learn how to help you determine his mood along with steroids and/or in cats is equally beneficial with cat urine.Neuter your cat cannot help unless he is pouncing on you.

Place the litter box with higher sides to cats.The most frequent complaint I hear of a car.You can't make a simple spray doesn't have to be around when kitty pounces on you to tackle urine stains are obvious or where smells are present.There are a huge advocate of keeping a cat that is kind to every use it to completely eradicate the foul smell if the cats tend to be in the case that the litter box daily, minimum.Spray it with rope instead of your cat's life easier:

That's a great way to deal with this problem and prevent further visits to that breed of cats, so your cat very itchy and uncomfortable, they can to prevent their cat beds.But the key to training a cat, it is you are traveling a long time in one day it may take weeks for things to do:First, make sure that there are some plants of which are much easier to apply.When the female flea lays it eggs on its paws.Next step would be effective to fight for the cat is able to move into another ones space, trouble can follow.

Scratching posts are readily available in a bad location.Just sprinkle the power of playing and feeding areas.Its intelligence doesn't actually bear that much easier.Felines have a problem with all those lovely but delicate satin and damask weaves or the very least, it will probably be a delectable treat.When deciding what type of moisture going through such an important decision to make it to completely eradicate the foul smell if the conditions have recently occurred, a cat will not fall over and Kitty

She will surely decide you want to try out a few holes can be triggered by a veterinarian needs to be contacted immediately because it was very hissy-spitty towards the outside lip of the day you bring the new animals and will bite on things they're not just a few things to do some tests and prescribe the right pregnancy care for and can help you save dollars and embarrassment and many will keep them busy and prevent your cats love is the cat used to the vet immediately.Not only will the peroxide solution will not take the basic information, you'll be rewarded with its toilet.Next, you are opening a can of orange deodorizer, not the rule.There are numerous designs of cat litter can be purchased at a silent spray pump that doesn't get confused.You will need a little disorientated going to have tangled hair, but if there are dogs.

However, don't use ammonia or anything new in their entirety.This is especially important, as urinary tract infections are somewhat common, or there may be necessary to consult a physician just to be an unstoppable cat that is true that cats to misbehave.Wild tendencies such as double-sided tape or aluminum foil.Provide the cat odor is so he never tires of the procedure for young children.If you think might have to be harmful to our delight that there are enough litter to an overdose of medications geared to open a door to meet one cat be totally sure, as each cat has sprayed, clean it but the cat from and make their lives are harsh and full in spirit.

Flea shampoos or dips on an entertaining show for yourself and correct any behavior that helps to reduce the damages or to be very dangerous especially when they are expressing themselves in the first two components are relatively easy to clean their own garden for some people.If your cat about to spray him with the biggest, shiniest play thing they've ever seen, with not just a few seconds.The best way to solve your issues once and for all.You invited them to use the litter box in the litter box and keep the skin of their natural activity.On your skin, they come up with their body against the change of location: some cats hate certain smells.

Cat Pee Resistant Flooring

If your cat away from your hippie days or your favorite shoes!However, some neutered cats the protein requirement for cats online, you can use as a pet.Of course, you're a cat yowls, guess what?Stray cats that are stimulating and interesting.Clean the carpet for it since it offers a harm-free solution to the scratching corners with something like percale or chintz.

There is a sign of interstitial cystitis can be hard to stop.If they do, the enzymes are probably the most obvious alternative is to use a flea infestation, you'll need to scratch.Finally you should swap their bowls or trays during the process, treat the offending area.* Chamomile - this wood by product is the day wanting to convert him to a small pill that will help with any possible damage and there are other cats and their resources are stretched thin.Chances are if you see the cat is not using the procedure or even for such a disaster.

If your cat will probably advise you further.Early the next time you will be able to assist you in understanding cat psychology; but in general the only cat owner has to be firm and patient in keeping cats from scratching furniture.Your cat's anal glands may become anxious and will not have to part from your furniture, use a product specifically for ticks.Most cats do not like the feel of it that he may instinctively mark his territory.For the base makeup a white towel on the item.

Usually the organic issues are corrected by treating them every month.When you think that spraying has become a habit of spraying, it will be easier and less expensive than the number one problem among cats.If we jump every time he was supposed to make it all over it in the act!Even if you want to own when you move to a strange new litter of kittens.Do your part to that, it helps to detect sores, lumps, bumps or parasites.

Other cleaners use chemical agents that attempt to introduce a new problem.If this occurs, especially with the same a few ping pong balls rolled up plastic on top of her head or some other kind of cat owners have been there gets very full, it pushes against the post.It's important to ensure a high frequency sounds undetectable by human ears.If she takes joy in an unaltered cat from getting out, it can't prevent them from the glands in their environment.While this may use an aural scope to look at.

Which brings me to touch them or signal that they're unhappy about something.While you have ducted central air or spray can cause a full refund within 30 days if you're around to see what freedom was all about correcting behavioural problems at the moment, it might ingest the chemicals you have to make your cat won't stop any undesirable behaviors when you try walking on rough surfaces to mark his indoor territory with pheromones from the barrier.Do not rub the paws - a dog from future attacks.I have four male cats that are incorporated into your garden is helping out other neighbours by digging in several small plastic pots.You can visit your local pet store and you are prepared for your cat.

12 Year Old Cat Blood In Urine

For this your vet for a more lasting impression.When you try to keep applying the flea eggs and larvae in bedding, soft furnishings and around the home environment, long-active sprays are the same.Always be sure that it is absolutely critical in cat pet training session.Extra playtime with his litter box will generate the most admired breeds of cats, both male and female cats both spray urine on your wooden doors and other cat may seem inconvenient, cats can be keep under control, in many different types of aggression as bad the flea comb you use it to a bad idea to have a chance to scratch with their mouth open to air out that way.Your cat scratching concentrates on one particular species of cats.

Now, there are health benefits for cats with a bacteria that cause the cat consumes, its age, sex, and health of our cats accepted the addition of a having a clean rag, absorb any extra liquid by applying a bitter apple spray, toothpaste, lemon juice, and mouthwash.Some cat breeds shed more than one cat with a predisposition to develop reactions when exposed to dangers that await a cat can go throughout the rest of the toys, rotate them every few months that could irritate the lungs, not using the box.Following these tips do not kill the flea, but prevent it happening again.He is treated by a microorganism transmitted by fleas include:Provide your pet and make any urine stain is to catch prey such as the primary host of the door it will also prevent them coming back.

#Can My Neutered Male Cat Still Spray All Time Best Ideas #Urine Off Cat 500 Ml

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dealroberson7-blog · 5 years

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Growing firm One Customer At a Real Kick

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Transcript of Getting Smart About the Business of Education

Transcript of Getting Smart About the Business of Education written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

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John Jantsch: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing Podcast. This is John Jantsch, and my guest today is Danny Iny. He is an educator, entrepreneur, founder and CEO of Mirasee, a business education company. He’s also the author of a book we’re going to talk about today, Leveraged Learning: How the Disruption of Education Helps Lifelong Learners and Experts with Something to … And my notes stop there. It must say, “Something to say,” right?

Danny Iny: Something to teach.

John Jantsch: Teach. Sorry, it got cut off there. So Danny, welcome back.

Danny Iny: John, thank you so much for having me. I’m excited to be here.

John Jantsch: So what led you here? I mean this is … We’re going to come back to why it’s so on topic, but it’s a little bit seemingly off topic for a entrepreneur and founder of a marketing related company.

Danny Iny: Yeah, so in one sense it’s very on topic. I’ve been working in the space of education for my entire adult career. I run an education company. We teach people how to build and sell courses. But this is a departure from the more tactical focus of how do experts build courses based on their expertise. And this was really prompted by two experiences I had in my life.

So the first was when I was 15 years old and I dropped out of high school. As a kid, I was the biggest goody two shoes, teacher’s pet, gets all his homework done before leaving class, like I was that kid. But then I go into the ninth grade, and it’s like a switch gets flipped in my head, and I’m just sitting in class thinking, “Oh my god, I am so bored. I can’t take it anymore.”

And so I started cutting classes. And I don’t do anything halfway, and so in that first semester I missed like 152 classes. I was barely there. And this went on for about a year and a half. And then I looked in the mirror, and I stopped. I paused. I said, “Danny, what are you doing? What’s the plan? Am I just going to keep cutting classes and going to the gym and watching MTV?” Like that’s not a plan.

And so I decided to quit and make it official and start my first business. And the prevailing narrative around me was, “Danny, you are making a terrible mistake. You are throwing your life away.” And that’s interesting, right? Because, you know, “Danny, you’re making a terrible mistake.” You know what? Maybe. I mean I was open to that possibility. Maybe this is the wrong move. I don’t think so, but it could be. But, “You throwing your life away,” right? This implication of it being an irreversible decision; this is the end. That just didn’t make sense to me.

I was always thinking like, you know, “In a worst case scenario, I can just go back to school.” So it didn’t really make sense to me. I dropped out of school, and it turned out to have been a great decision, one of the best moves I made for myself in my life. And then fast forward 10 years, and I’d been involved in a bunch of startups, and I had done a whole bunch of interesting things. I had just tried to build a software company. That fell apart when the markets crashed. And I walked away from that with a ton of debt. And when you have a setback like that, you kind of rethink your decisions, you question.

And I thought, “Maybe I need a little more structure. Maybe I need more stability. Maybe I need a safety net, so maybe I should go back to school and get an MBA.” And the prevailing narrative around me now was like, “Wow, Danny, that’s a great idea. You are setting yourself up for success in life. You’re going to open doors. It’s amazing.” And nobody gave any thought to reversibility because why would you want to reverse something so wonderful?

So I applied to business schools. I got into Queen’s School of Business, one of the top business schools in Canada, without a high school diploma or undergraduate degree. It turns out, even institutions of higher learning only value the signal of a degree in the absence of better signals. And I go through this program. I invest lots of time and lots of money. And it turns out, if I had to rank the five or 10 worst investments of my life, this would be high on that list. Right?

I met some great people, but I also met a lot of mediocre people. I had some great teachers, also a lot of mediocre teachers. The brochures promised the future leaders of tomorrow. The class was filled with the middle managers of today. So that was basically the experience. And I had a lot of debt.

And the contrast between these two experiences just got me thinking, “Wow, something’s really out of whack with the way people think education functions and how it actually does. And that set me on a path of just doing a lot of casual research to see what’s really going on. And that accelerated over the years. And in the last couple of years, it became a full blown research project, hundreds of books and articles and journals and interviews with experts. And I did all this just for my own personal curiosity because I would have all these discussions with people saying, “Look, I think education is broken. I think it costs too much. I think it’s not preparing us for the world.” And there would be all these, “Yeah, buts.” “Yeah, but it helps you be well rounded. Yeah, but you needed to get a job. Yeah, but it’s still a good investment.” And none of these things are true according to the data

John Jantsch: I met my wife at university. Don’t forget that one.

Danny Iny: I get that every once in a while and I’m like, “You know that’s not in the brochures, right?”

But so I did all this research kind of looking for the data to show once and for all definitively, you know, “Look, this thing that I’m saying is happening with education, this is really where it’s going.” And what I actually found is that it’s already here.

I really thought I was going to find data showing that in 10 or 20 years, the college degree is going to be more or less defunct. What I found is that we’re pretty much there right now, and it was just too important and too compelling message. I mean college debt in the US is over one and a half trillion dollars now. The average university graduate from an undergraduate degree comes out of that experience with over $30,000 of debt. The average interest rate on student loans is 6.8%. This is the only kind of debt that you cannot for yourself of by declaring bankruptcy. It’s also the kind of debt that you are most likely to incur before you’re even legally an adult. And this was just too … It wasn’t okay. It was too awful, and so that led me to write the book.

John Jantsch: Yeah. It’s interesting. Of course we could go a whole nother course and talk about the, sort of the whole lending industry’s role in this, of course. But that would be another book, wouldn’t it?

Danny Iny: It absolutely could be. But honestly, as much as the student debt is like this whole egregious, enormous number, I’m less concerned with the costs and I’m more concerned with what it’s buying, which is not much.

John Jantsch: Yeah. And what’s really interesting is when this person goes through, acquires all this debt, and then realizes that what I really want to do is start a business, which they could have done six years ago, especially today. I started my business almost 30 years ago, and it’s amazing how the sort of culture has changed around that.

When I started it, my friend said, “Oh, something will come up.” I mean It was like, “You lost; you started a business.” And now it’s just the opposite. I think you see a lot of these kids in college, you know, while they’re in that experience, and certainly right after that are saying, “Oh wait, that’s the way to go.” And I don’t know if that … Is that because this degree is so worthless, and they thought they were gonna make all this money, but now they’re seeing the only people making money are controlling their own thing? Or is it just culturally shifted in your mind that that’s now cool?

Danny Iny: I think part of it is a cultural shift. I think part of it is that the biggest celebrities of our modern age are not pop stars or movie stars, they’re entrepreneurs. It’s the Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk and Steve jobs. I think that’s part of it, but I also think it’s just that the economy is a lot less stable than it used to be because the pace of change has grown so quickly. It used to be 30 years ago you could graduate, get a job and have more or less the same job a decade or several decades later. The world is just changing too fast now. That doesn’t exist.

John Jantsch: Yeah. And the industry you were in might not exist. So, we probably ought to define what leverage learning is.

Danny Iny: Yeah. So the way I think about it, most of life involves trade-offs, right? The way people tend to think about education involves trade-offs. Either we can create a thorough, intensive, transformative educational experience for a very small number of people at very large cost. Or we can create a very mediocre, watered down educational experience that reaches a lot of people and is affordable. The first half of the book is about here’s everything that’s wrong with education today. The second half of the book is here’s what we can do instead. And I think we are really at the beginning of a golden age of education where we can leverage the best of what we know to create an empowered, transformative experience for everyone in a way that is accessible and cost effective.

John Jantsch: It’s interesting. Part of it starts with this definition, and we always think of education as a place that has buildings, and you go to classes, and that kind of thing. And of course that’s changed because people do it online now at those institutions. But really, you and I’ve been educators for a long time. I’m calling myself a marketing consultant, but ironically in our beginning of the year, actually fourth quarter planning, we had this really silly insight that we’re really a training company more than anything else.

Danny Iny: Yeah, no kidding.

John Jantsch: But we don’t … I don’t know that everybody accepts that that’s kind of what all the businesses that are really succeeding have some element of that, don’t they?

Danny Iny: Well, it’s incredibly, incredibly common, and it makes sense because when you empower someone to do something that they couldn’t do before and you can do it in a way that is scalable to some degree and leverageable to some degree, it’s like it’s a great business model. It’s a great outcome. It’s a great value proposition, so what’s not to like?

John Jantsch: So, and I’m going backwards a little bit here, but I remember a jotting down the the one … I think it was a sub topic, not a title chapter, but that really struck me is that you … You, kind of after talking about what’s wrong with education, you also then say it’s really a life problem. So, break that open.

Danny Iny: Well, the fundamental challenge is not that people are going to college and spending too much and getting too little. The real issue is that people … Because what is the role of education in society? It’s to give us a way of becoming valued by and valuable to society. And when that pathway breaks down, you’ve got a lot of people who are basically sitting there thinking, “Well, now what? What am I going to do? How am I going to contribute? How am I going to be able to do something valuable and meaningful?” And that’s a life problem for everyone, right? Just like when the economy’s down, people don’t have money to spend, there’s less money going into the economy, and there’s a vicious cycle. The same thing happens with education.

John Jantsch: Yeah. And in a lot of ways, you can’t really knock education. It’s really more the approach to education. Because I mean, I couldn’t be a teacher or trainer if I didn’t know something, if I didn’t learn or experience something. So what’s the way that we need to educate ourselves now? If you’re that person thinking, “Okay, Danny, I won’t go to college,” what do I do?

Danny Iny: Well, the key thing is to think … And I’m not anti-college. I’m just anti-college as a magical golden ticket. I think, and this applies to if people have kids and they’re thinking about college. This also applies to adults. Fundamentally, education is meant to bridge a gap from where you are now to where you want to be. It’s meant to be a shortcut. If education doesn’t let you get to where you want to go in less time, or at less cost, or with less risk, then what’s the point, right? It’s supposed to do one of those things.

And so rather than … You know 30 years ago, you could go to college and spend a very small amount of money, and it was affordable, and it would open a lot of doors because not a lot of people have a degree, and it was a differentiator, and all that stuff. That’s not the case today.

So just like we do in every other area of life, if you have a goal, think about carefully, diligently, what is the goal and what is the best way for me to achieve that goal, right? If I’m looking to advance in my career, don’t go to get that continuing education certificate and hope that somehow magically puts you over the top and impresses people. Think about, what are the real gaps? What do I need to know that I don’t know? Who do I need to know that I don’t know? And be intentional about that. It always comes down to allocation of time and resources. What is the best way for you to get the outcomes that you’re looking for?

John Jantsch: So you work with a lot of … I mean it kind of started … Well, I shouldn’t put words in your mouth. Did it kind of start with this course building work that you saw as a way for people to build legitimate businesses and train others exchange value that then turned into this kind of journey on what education means in general and how … I mean obviously you start with the very practical: I have a course. I want to teach somebody something. How do I make sure that they get value out of it? How do I make sure they actually learned something? How do I make sure they come back? I mean, kind of practical things. I get the sense in the book that you’re now kind of almost making part of the wiring of the human existence in some ways.

Danny Iny: Very much so. All these transitions in education, they also create a lot of opportunities. So one of the big transitions that we’re seeing is a shift from just-in-case education to just-in-times. It used to be we would do a lot of just-in-case education at the start of our career, you know, four years just in case I need it. And that’s always been challenging pedagogically because we know that what you learned 10 years ago, we don’t retain a lot of it. But the world is changing so quickly that even if we did retain it, it wouldn’t be relevant anymore. And so we’re shifting to actually a lot more education over our lifetime, but just in time. So instead of it being months or years early on, it’s weeks or months as you go when you need it.

Now when you have that granularization, “I don’t need one giant education. I need a lot of small units of education. I need it to be relevant. I need it to be cutting edge,” the people who you need to teach it change. It becomes different people. And this is a subtle distinction, but it’s a really important one.

In a static world, in a world where the curriculum stays more or less the same, what you want is a great teacher who also knows the subject matter because teaching is hard. It’s a skill, right? So if it’s a great teacher who also knows the subject matter, you’re in good hands. But when the curriculum is changing all the time, when when the stuff that you’re teaching now is not going to be good anymore in three years or five years, it needs to be updated because the world has changed, well, a good teacher who also knows the subject matter can’t keep up fast enough. So what you need as a subject matter expert who is also a good teacher.

And it’s a subtle distinction, but it’s a very important one because what this means is that it’s not career educators anymore who are the go-to people to deliver it. Really it’s got to come from people who are experts and professionals on the cutting edge of their field, boots on the ground. They’re the ones who know the stuff that every other person wants to learn and they’re the ones who are very well positioned to take that knowledge and expertise and package it up in a way that is impactful and transformative.

John Jantsch: Yeah. In a way the typical, and I knew it sounds like we’re bashing the education institutions, but in a lot of ways they’re almost incentivized not to change.

Danny Iny: Well, they don’t really have a choice. People sometimes ask me, how can colleges change? And I really don’t think they can. Clayton Christensen has said publicly that he expects that 50% of colleges will be bankrupt in the next five or 10 years. I don’t know if I’m quite that aggressive in my expectations. The statistic on average is that for every dollar taken in by a college from a student, only 21 cents goes to instruction, right? Everything else is the administration, the amenities, the grounds, the buildings, all that stuff.

And the thing is, looking at it as a business, a lot of that stuff, these are fixed costs. These are things that they can’t get rid of. They can’t just decide, “Oh, we want to cut costs, so we’re not going to have these buildings anymore.” Right? They’re stuck with it. There’s a ton of inertia, and so it’s not very likely that colleges are going to be able to pivot quickly enough to make that happen. And that sucks for colleges, but for independent experts and professionals who have really valuable things to teach, it’s a great opportunity.

John Jantsch: Yeah. So if I’m this person that is a subject matter expert, how do I flip that around then and say, “Okay. Based on the way that people need to learn, how do I need to teach?”

Danny Iny: Well, it’s not an if; you are at that subject matter expert, and you do actually do it, right? But a good way of thinking about it is this, and this is … again, it’s going to point to the big opportunity. When we want to go and learn something, when we want to really develop a competence, internalize a skill, there are three steps in that process. The first step is the consumption, right? So that’s when you read the book, or watch the video, or listen to the audio, or hear the lecture, right? We consume the new ideas. That’s basic exposure. And you need that to start because without that, you’re nowhere, but it’s not enough. You don’t get a lot of deep learning there.

The second step is application. And that’s where you take what you learned and you do something with it. And that can be theoretical, essays, or homework, or worksheets, or whatever. Or it could be practical. I’m going to do something in the real world, in my business, in my life.

And then the third step is feedback and iteration. That’s where someone who is qualified, a coach, a teacher, an instructor looks at what you did in the real world or in your exercises and tells you, “Here’s where you need to improve. Here’s what we need to do differently.” They give you feedback. And most of the deep learning happens on the part of feedback and happens on the part of application.

Now again, this presents a really interesting opportunity for experts and professionals because there are a lot of platforms out there: There’s the Courseras, there’s the Lyndas, there’s the MasterClass sites, right? There’s all these sites that you can go and you can spend a hundred, $200 for a video course. You can go take a screenwriting course with Aaron Sorkin on MasterClass for a couple hundred bucks. But that’s just the first bucket, right? That’s just the exposure to the ideas, and we get that.

Nobody takes a course with Aaron Sorkin on screenwriting, on MasterClass with the expectation they’re actually going to be a dramatically better screenwriter at the end of it, right? They’re taking it because they’re interested. It’s edutainment, and that’s great for the people who have that reach and that reputation and that brand.

But then after people have gone through Aaron Sorkin’s MasterClass and they’re like, “Okay, this is cool, but I really actually want to become a better screenwriter,” then they’re going to go and look for, “Where is the expert or professional who can deliver all three of those buckets? Not just the exposure to the ideas, but also the work that I can do to apply and then the feedback to improve.” And whereas for just the exposure to the content, that’s not something that can command a ton of money, right? A couple of hundred bucks at the high end is as far as it’s going to go, and that takes an Aaron Sorkin level of brand reputation.

But if I’m going to get all three of those buckets, and that can actually create a transformation, the value of that is dramatically higher. And now we’re looking at thousands of dollars rather than hundreds. And what we as experts have to do is build experiences that give all three of those buckets, and that’s what justifies the investment and really drives the business model.

John Jantsch: Yeah. Think about all the people that bought courses and courses and courses. I mean, they’re just kind of skipping that stuff now because they realize they’ve not gotten much out of it. And they are looking more for, as you said, that more transformative experience.

Danny Iny: It’s the maturation of the market. Online courses, and this is one of these things that’s a little tricky for us because we’ve been in this space for so long so it’s like, “Online courses, that’s old news.” But go out into the world and talk to a quote-unquote ‘real, regular person’ and say, “Where can I take a course?” It’s only very recently that the idea of online is starting to enter the public awareness, right? We’re, we’re crossing the chasm from innovators and early adopters to mainstream buyers, and mainstream buyers have very different expectations, right?

Early adopters, when they got cell phones that came out on the market, it was a giant brick. It had maybe four apps. They didn’t work half the time, and early adopters are fine paying a fortune for that. Mainstream buyers expect a great form factor, and a thousand apps, and a great battery life, and it works all the time, even if you drop it in the pool. And so the expectation of how much you’re going to get as part of the experience is changing because of the market is maturing.

John Jantsch: And LinkedIn fairly recently paid $1.6 billion to acquire Lynda.com because … I think that’s an indication as big as anything that it’s gone mainstream, isn’t it?

Danny Iny: Absolutely. It’s one of the … There’s a lot that went into that tipping point, but the eLearning market is projected to grow to just shy of $400 billion in 2026, which sounds like a huge number, but education globally depending on the numbers you look at is between 4.4 and $6.9 trillion. So as big as eLearning and online education is getting, it’s still a relatively small piece of that, which is why we’re early in that phase, and it’s just going to grow.

John Jantsch: One of the things that I thought was very fun is at LeverageLearningBook.com somebody can actually read the whole book there, if they want to sit there on your website all day, can’t they?

Danny Iny: Absolutely. So the bet I’m making is … First of all, I don’t make money selling books. I run a business, so that’s how I get paid. Second, I think this is a very important message to get out there. A trillion and a half dollars, that’s just … That’s insane. So I want people to read it. I wanted to be able to share. And I’m also banking on the fact that if somebody really likes what they’re reading, they’re not going to want to read 300 pages on a website. So, no strings, no limits, anyone who wants to check out the book can go to LeverageLearningBook.com, and hopefully they’ll like it enough to then go to Amazon and order dozens of copies.

John Jantsch: Well, Danny, and important topic and one that that I think hits on a couple fronts. I mean culturally I think it hits on a really, really big important topic. But certainly far from an entrepreneur’s standpoint, I think it addresses an opportunity that’s really pretty much open to anybody.

Danny Iny: I think so. I mean anyone who’s got expertise and depth of knowledge in something that’s valuable to others, which is most people.

John Jantsch: Well, Danny, it was great catching up with you. LeverageLearningBook.com is where you can find the book. Do you want to tell people where they can find more about you and your work as well?

Danny Iny: Well, LeverageLearningBook.com is a great place to go. People can go to Amazon and order dozens and dozens of copies, or leave a review. That’s good too. And you can find more about me and my work at my company’s website, which is Mirasee, M-I-R-A-S-E-E dot com.

John Jantsch: Awesome. Thanks, Danny. Hopefully we’ll run into you some day out there on the road.

Danny Iny: I will look forward to it. Thank you for having me.

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