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red-hibiscus · 3 months

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BL characters I relate to most as a mentally ill gay trans man

Daisy from SCOY

Surprising no one, I, a trans person, relate to Daisy. They're outgoing and seemingly don't care about how people view them. They know they're visibly queer and they normally don't mind it (from what I see). But at the end of the day, society does affect them. They're hesitant to believe Touch genuinely cares and is attracted to them despite Touch being an absolute green flag who is very direct with his flirting. Even after, Daisy was worried about people would view their relationship with Touch and tried to become Day, a more masculine version of themself. Impossible of course and they broke down emotionally exhausted. I feel that so much because I also don't believe it when people, especially cis gay men, are attracted to me. I've caught myself trying to change my behavior to be more masculine (as I'm a bit on the nonbinary side of things). It's bad, but I know how Daisy feels.

Wang from 180 Degree Longtitude Passes Through Us

As a 26 year old trans gay immigrant in a country that doesn't want me, I have a shit ton of pent up anger that has been building up since I was a child. I've calmed down over the years, but I can still be stubborn and argumentative when it comes to politics and human rights. I'm also a linguistics major, thus an academic.

Wang is so much like myself and like a lot of people around me. Like me and Wang would be close friends irl I know it. We're young and stubborn. We're angry at the older conservative people around us, too much sometimes. So he lashes out. Many of his points are correct, but they're not hitting. Partially because the people he's talking to don't want to change, partially because he himself is stubborn. People like us yearn to be free, to be ourselves and to learn. Wang has a passion for the humanities like myself. Yet he knows society really only cares about STEM fields. I've compromised and am getting a master's in computational linguistics. Even though really I just wanna learn as much as I can about sociolinguistics.

Karl from Gaya Sa Pelikula

I haven't watched GSP in a hot minute, but I do remember feeling very seen.

So in the show Karl has his gay awakening, tries to internally and externally deny it, and eventually let himself be free to feel everything and be himself (at least in private).

Now I didn't have a gay awakening, but I guess you could say a trans awakening. In middle school I felt different, I suspected maybe some flavor of LGBT, but wasn't sure and I was too afraid to think about it too hard. Come high school I secretly wanted to join the LGBT club, but was afraid. Then I was essentially adopted into the LGBT club and dragged into the friend group during lunch because I was a loner like everyone else. At the time still "identified" as a cishet woman. As time went on people started to suspect. "Why are you in the club?", "why did you cut your hair", "why do you dress like that?", "your voice is low for a girl haha", etc. Much like Karl, I was not ready for any of that. I was still struggling to make sense of it all and come to terms with it myself. So I kept rejecting it and every time it hurt.

I kept rejecting it until I couldn't. Until someone I resonated with so much came out as trans and it clicked. My trans awakening was complete. I became able to be more myself, but only in private safe spaces. I wouldn't come out and live as a man until after high school and it was terrifying.

Adachi from Cherry Magic

I've only watched the jpn ver, but I'm sure that character remains the same.

I'm anxious and used to be quite shy. Now I'm just awkward. I'm really bad at seeing the good in myself cause I feel like I'm wandering around aimlessly in life. Not that impressive. So when people compliment me I think "haha they're just being nice" (refer back to me never believing people are actually attracted to me).

Adachi is the exact same. He has the same routine every day. Just going through the motions and not really thinking anything of himself. But then Kurosawa comes along and the ability to read minds. Adachi then realizes "wait, someone I respect so much actually loves me? And thinks I have a lot of good qualities? Makes me wanna cry." And me too Adachi. I'd be the same.

Jared from 7 Days Before Valentine

Jared, my precious baby, is described throughout the show as kind, but weird and different. We later learn that he has dyslexia, and honestly he seems to be somewhere on the autism spectrum. Even if he isn't, he has a behavioral difference people pick up on and then shun him for it.

I too was seen as kinda weird growing up. Maybe it was the autism, maybe it was the social anxiety. Probably both. And then of course there was the gnawing feeling that I was different than everyone else and it turns out it's because I'm trans.

So when Jared said that people didn't talk to him because he wasn't like other people it hit me so hard.

Myungha from Love For Love's Sake

The whole show is sad yet cathartic for me. Myungha is depressed yet spends his time comforting others. He has a hard time loving and receiving love. If you give him a fictional character who is very similar to him he will love them and see all the good, but he doesn't see it in himself. Relatable as hell.

I have an incredibly hard time being honest with my emotions and letting people love me and express attraction. Mostly in a romantic/sexual context. Dpdr is cockblocking me. So dating is hell, but I'm lonely and yearn to not be.

Probably if you put me in a situation like Myungha I'd also go "yep, that right there is my blorbo" and then not realize that all the things I like about the person and make me care about them are things I have.

Honorable mentions:

Both Akk and Ayan from The Eclipse

Nozue from Old Fashion Cupcake

Oh-Aew from I Told Sunset About You

Cher from A Boss and a Babe (I headcannon him as autistic)

Amber from DNA Says Love You

Uea from Bed Friend

Mitsuomi from Restart After Come Back Home

Jao from SCOY

Maybe I'll make another post for those later

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meimeikyu · 20 days

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Giving sans AUs kpop solo songs,,, an extremely self indulgent post

this is based on both the tone/lyrics of the song, my interpretation of the lyrics, and the music videos. also just songs i like

also!! a lot of these will be focused on my interpretations of both the song and the characters, as well as specific parts of them

(this will be slightly long and full of links so it goes under the cut)

Cross: Lilac - IU

youtube

this song makes me so aggressively happy and sad at the same time and its so hgksghkshgksghs i feel like itd fit him so much,,,, for one lilac being the song name bcs i associate cross heavily with lilacy purple but also just the whole theme of the song being losing a person but it being like a perfect goodbye and etc and. idk i see it in him

"Will you forget me someday?

Will you forget our faces and the scent of today?

While having a good nap

Like a faded mid-spring’s dream"

Blue: Bam Yang Gang - BIBI

youtube

okay so this is mostly based on the lyrics, and the concept of blue working with the stars but kinda being lesser than them? since hes 'only' mortal and cant keep up and yet hes expected to and. yeah i love this concept n i love this song so

"As you were leaving you turned around and said to me

"You always want far too much"

No what I’ve always wanted was one thing

Just one thing sweet chestnut red bean jelly"

Dream: INVU - Taeyeon

youtube

god so its like a sad song about forbidden love in my mind but like. some of the lyrics hit so hard n i feel like theyd work for dream so well and the mvs so pretty (and also has a bow!) but like. dream and forbidden things work so well together in my mind bcs shes the one trying to keep everything together and yet also be the perfect guardian of positivity and can never be sad or angry and never get tired or stop and. she cant even love someone because shes supposed to be a guardian and thats not part of her job </3 (also trans fem dream canon to me)

"I think I lost my mind

But it's my kind of love

Without leaving anything

Pour everything out and flop

Suddenly at one point

I see myself exhausted

Even though I'm trying my best"

Ink: water color - Whee In

youtube

okay one i adore this song two the whole song being art/painting themed!!! literally ink!!!!!! and the theme of a lot of the lyrics being about becoming/embracing yourself (in my mind) i feel like fits him bcs like, hes out of the normal hes weird but hes HIM!! he has an identity he has a life he has friends hes not just that sketch anymore!!! hes a full person :D

"Gonna make it colored

I'll pick my brush

Just dye my everything, yeah, deep in my mind

Then I will follow my heart

Draw the things that only I have

Gonna do it my way

I don't wanna stay here"

Nightmare: Animal Farm - BIBI

(warning for fake blood/gore in the mv, as well as violence and guns)

youtube

so i actually had a few ideas for nightmare tbh but idk they didnt feel quite right to be 'the' song i put as nightmare, but oh boy this song did! the whole royalty vibes of the music video plus the apple in the beginning, and just the whole tone of the song and mv felt so right. whats more fitting than the one video thats age restricted lmfao

this is meant to be a more fanon nightmare but not quite the whole 'only doing it for the balance would never do violence otherwise' nightmare but also not 'fully evil an corrupted and the real nightmare is dead' just,, some combination of the two that i like to do nightmare as. definitely bad but not cruel to those close to them, would do violence or manipulation for purposes other than the balance and for her own gain, but doesnt intend to tip the scales all the way and destroy every positive instance. also very much fancy and royal aesthetics :3

"Welcome, well done

Shameless friends of mine

Who's next?

Hang my pretty head in your room

Where is love? Where is my sympathy?

What have we lost?

Is it a farm? Is it society?

Am I a tiger or a gazelle?"

Killer: Heart Attack - Chuu

youtube

oh wow the song i drew killer with like a week ago,,, shockinggggg (silly)

tone wise does this song seem like killer? meh debatable but i associate it with him so fucking hard!! one i feel like if we go off popular like fanon-ish killer i think hed like this song <-projecting probably but TWO!!! all the lyrics about like giving his heart an the apple themes in the mv??? consider: its him about nightmare, giving his whole heart sould and purpose to nightmare and how nightmare is obviously tied to apples canon wise, and the mv uses apples to represent freedom or sin (imo) and killer 'eating the apple' or agreeing to work with nightmare for some form of freedom. also non toxic killermare has my heart and soul and this is so killermare to me btw <33333 (also the other girl in the mv is yves and for the sake of this idea she is nightmare in this context <3)

btw have i mentioned how much i fucking LOVE this song bcs i fucking adore this song i love it so much im so insane about it

"Pounding more and more

I’ll give it all, take my heart

Surely you’re my destiny

It shines fully in my heart"

Dust: 28 Reasons - Seulgi

youtube

ok lyric wise maybe less fitting than the other songs but like,, the whole mvs theme of 'good and evil exist together in a person' is like. so how i feel about dust how do i word this. what he did is bad or 'evil' killing everyone is objectively bad but in his mind hes freeing them from a worse fate (the constant resets) and doing it for the greater 'good'. it doesnt matter if thats true or not, the fact is he believes it to be,,,, combine with the idea of him sometimes feeling horribly guilty about what hes done versus comforting himself with what he does because its better for him... i feel like both dust and killer have this very skewed view of their past vs present, and where killer barely remembers his past dust VERY MUCH does, and has a massive line in his head of where sans ended and he started. idk if this makes sense to anyone else but alone those lines, picture the chorus as if its him talking to himself,,,, also this songs amazing i love it

"28 reasons that ruined you, you don't have to know

I have no bad intentions

You know all 28 reasons to run away

So, why are you leaning into me again?"

Error: Glitch - Kwon Eunbi

youtube

This ones also kinda less directly connected but i couldnt not do the glitchy song for error (i also had minimal other ideas shhh)!! The whole glitchy theme and a lot of the lyrics being based around that is perfect for our glitchy man,,,, also this song is just really good n i love eunbi!!

"I make a touch, t-t-touch the limit After crashing the steep wall again The shaking caught my eyes, wait a minute"

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so originally this was gonna have more guys but ive run out of proper ideas for it and if i don't post it as is its gonna live in my drafts forevr n i dont want that bcs im actually really happy with what i have so far so end for now!! i may do more another time but yeah!

i do offer this bonus tho!!

Festivalverse: Apple - Gfriend

youtube

in general i adore this song but also i just associate it with my au, specifically the gods!! also the apple theme in general fitting with dreamtale, the final bit, and just how gorgeous the whole mv is! its so my au to me :3

silly thing but if ur curious about which member would be who in festivalverse: Sowon - Ink, Umji - Error, Eunha - Geno, Yuju - Reaper, Yerin - Dream, SinB - Nightmare

"There’s no turning back when the night turns restless Let the festival I dared to imagine come alive"

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swampgallows · 2 months

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i straight up get violent now when i hear people say "post covid". covid has completely fucked up my life and career. it's kept me from getting the medical care i need because even healthcare facilities won't take precautions anymore, leading to a threat of being infected on top of my original problems.

it has permanently fucked up the lives of some of my closest friends. my best friend was infected for the third fucking time last week; he takes every precaution imaginable, even getting his groceries delivered, but was infected by the person preparing his fucking taxes. another of my best friends now needs an inhaler and walking stick and isn't even 30 yet. yet another close friend most likely has long covid, suffering short term memory problems and a chronic chest cough despite normal xrays. another friend has lost over a dozen family members since the pandemic began, with his father, brother, and uncle all passing away in December 2020.

i want to say that people who reflexively knee jerk say "covid is over" are living in a bubble, but i think the more accurate reality is that they've forced people like me and my friends to live in a gutter.

i can't write any more. I'm so fucking tired of having to be angry about this. i am in a really bad place mental health wise and wish i could go get help but i can't imagine anywhere more likely to catch covid than a ward, save for an actual covid wing of a hospital.

if i get covid, i could die. i have a blood disorder that already impairs my iron and clotting and oxygen levels, and a single infection of covid could result in a stroke. if i don't die of stroke, it could disable me for life. if i don't have a stroke, i could still get a clot that leads to pulmonary embolism. or i could just be saddled with long covid or chronic fatigue as my anemia disables me. this is the risk i face every single time i go out in public. any encounter could kill or disable me. and it is me against literally the entire world. i am told over and over that me and my friends are not worth protecting, that we're expendable, that we're "those people" who would have died of something anyway. we have mental illness, or chronic illness, or are trans, or people of color, or even a combination of these things, so society is fine isolating and killing us.

this is all ive had to think about as ive watched it be reinforced by everyone -- friends, family, communities, leaders -- for the past four years. every waking moment spent in hypervigilance and exhaustion and depression, mourning the life i had, the present life i could be having, the future i want being withheld from me. mourning, and yet still not having the space or time to grieve, because it is still going on. it is still happening. there are still thousands of deaths a week, and that's nothing to say of who is becoming disabled.

i just want to breathe air. in public. i want to be able to access healthcare without the threat of being infected. i want to go outside. i want to be able to get a job where i don't have to fear that my coworkers or the general public can literally kill me in complete ignorance. i want being in public to not require a particulate respirator.

i am sick of being told that these requests are unreasonable and that i might as well just die because infection is inevitable. at this point it's a race to see if my misery will kill me before covid does.

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void-thegod · 4 months

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When you have a invisible disability and you fail:

1. You're stupid

2. You're weak

3. You're gullible

4. You're a bad person

But it's never because you're disabled. And if you bring up the fact that you're disabled?

That's not an excuse.

Hm.

I don't know.

I think if I've had brain damage or am an amputee of some sort (I've had .. quite a few concussions actually) that I'm not going to function optimally

Would you question someone's ability to swim if they didn't have legs or were missing an arm?

Yeah. You'd be concerned about their ability.

But no. That doesn't mean they're an invalid. That doesn't mean they're incapable of doing wrong or anything else.

They will struggle more and they will experience the affects of that in various ways.

If we can accept abusers, people being plain ignorant, and bigots as people... why is it so hard to accept someone who is born differently?

This differently?

If you are brown, you know the sort of struggles and stress you have are on another level than a white person.

If you're a darker skin brown person it is more likely you will be treated worse than someone light skinned.

I was in a relationship with a black/indigenous woman. She was emotionally and physically abusive.

But I knew the type of shit she'd gone through

I saw how people treated us differently.

As the recipient of her abuse... I justified staying with her in a number of ways.

I'm not an angel. I'm capable of getting angry. Of yelling. I've done things I regret.

But I haven't physically harmed another person, yet.

The only times I've ever come close were in self defense

This is the sort of despicable person I am.

Only when pushed into a corner do I do desperate things. Desperate times, after all.

But that comes with its own pitfalls.

Being trans. Being male. Being brown (mixed/light). Being disabled.

People make all sorts of assumptions about you based on your behavior.

Rightly so. But if intent matters and outcome matters... then why have I been judged so harshly?

If I am being completely honest...

I think that is just what happens to weird people. People who have lost or never had the ability to connect with others because of their constitution.

Not even worse than other people.

I've met good people. Mediocre people. And real shit heads. And they all are capable of great kindness and great maliciousness - depending upon the circumstances.

But generally, the worst people are bigoted, ignorant, and hateful. They love drama. They like to see people in pain, to manipulate, and to have power. They are so desperate to be successful or at least better than others that they don't think twice.

If they think twice it is because their fear or reason actually over rules them. Or because they were made to learn. And even then? They become worse people.

Why? Why am I mentioning all this?

Because all people are made from this world, one way or another. Either a part of it or in revolt against it.

It creates illness of all sorts - of the body, mind, and spirit/heart. And that affects everything else.

How is anyone to properly survive this without being corrupted? Without being harmed or without harming?

You cannot.

But. I think we can ... be more discerning.

There is no reason in 2024 that we should still be struggling with the things we are.

People should know the difference between someone like Trump and someone like Biden

Between someone who is disabled and hurt and struggling

And someone who is disabled and hurt and willingly/maliciously hurting others

They shouldn't be seen as equal by any stretch of the imagination.

Likewise the way that we live our lives...

Between the rich and the poor. The why and how of it... there should be no confusion. About anything. About what should be done.

Same with our government.

The home of the brave? The land of the free?

The most brave and free of us are the most oppressed. And I mean "free" in the sense of not being so bound by societal norms.

Of course. Many of us don't have a choice. One way or another. Or the choices are few and shitty.

So.

What now?

Keep doing wrong? Keep seeing wrong?

...

I can't keep being around people like that.

Guess I'll die trying to escape this Hell.

#rambles #vent #trans #queer #voidpunk #autistic #disabled

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gemwolfz · 7 months

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since i am not sure if or when i will ever get back to that coming out day posting i will instead post full platoon headcanons here 🔥🔥🔥 under a cut because i intend to maintag and some people may not give a shit. also i expect to ramble. appending a big "to me, anyway" to all these because if i said that fifty times in the post it would be repetitive

keroro's gender is most accurately described as multiflux! he identifies with multiple genders at the same time- male, female, keronian genders you wouldn't get, exclusive genders only keroro understands- at different intensities at different moments. he mainly uses he/him, because, like, he's employed, but he appreciates being referred to in less masculine ways every now and then. because he's kind of a pretty girl ngl. he's also pansexual (i don't personally make a distinction between bi and pan, and usually default to the term bisexual, but idk keroro seems like someone who would label himself as pan dont ask me why) with a preference towards men. hey i can add nonqueer headcanons here too cant i. his ass has so much ADHD. also i posted yesterday that his behavior closely fits the description of narcissistic personality disorder HOWEVER thats a condition i dont know much about so im hesitant to decisively headcanon it for him yknow

tamama is bisexual (personally i have not witnessed proof of tamama caring about girls but the wiki is so confident about it that. well bi erasure would be bi erasure. we aint about that here 🫡) and also transgender 🔥 he's in the keronian version of the Awkward Transmasc Phase where if you're not read as a woman youre usually read as a middle schooler, and used to be more self-conscious about it, but since he's transitioned socially- he's tamama-kun within the platoon, and most pekoponians are completely unaware he was ever seen as a girl to begin with- he's quite happy with where he is now! anyway you know how i mentioned in one doodle post that i hc that fully metamorphosed female keronians are larger than males? well, being a bit of a brawler, tamama isn't really opposed to that concept, so although at his age Frog HRT would most likely trigger metamorphosis, he'd prefer to wait and metamorphose naturally before Starting Tesfrogsterone. best of both worlds! this trans frog is gnc and theres nothing you can do about it 🔥🔥🔥

giroro is bisexual. that's all he would have answered with in the coming out day posts because if youre cisgender whats the point in mentioning your gender right? anyone can tell he's a guy. look at that sharp, angry-looking brow, that big, gnarly scar, those monstrous fangs. those could only be appreciated on a man. and that's good, right? a soldier should be tough and intimidating. he's perfect. he should be proud. he says he is. so why is he so tired...? he shakes his head, and goes back to cleaning his arsenal. he's just frustrated that the invasion isn't going anywhere, that's all. really. Sorry i think i got possessed where was i. um i think giroro can also have little a autism as a treat

kululu is aroace, with no particular interest in seeking either of those types of relationships, romance averse but neutral towards sex. and he's apagender: he doesn't particularly care what gender people see him as. he does have his quirks- he enjoys presenting himself as girly every now and then, and is quite amused by being referred to as an "it" on occasion- but he considers these things more of a hobby or performance art than parts of his gender. just a bit of seasoning, some excitement. never let them know your next move. anyway hes also audhd (adhd autism combo pack). his headphones are noise cancelling, without them he will hear all his computers and the lights and the air conditioning and he will become the joker. i've also considered giving him Unique Alien Chronic Pain- i've got this kind of jokey headcanon where he secretes capsaicin due to his diet, sort of like a poison dart frog, and i thought an interesting consequence of that would be if that caused a constant burning feeling on his skin- but like idk if that would be a good idea? chronic pain is also not something i know much about

dororo is male, for all intents and purposes, but he doesn't care much about the label. he doesn't really believe in the gender binary these days, which is something he learned from living with koyuki; binary gender doesn't really exist in nature. he doesn't label his orientation, either, but for different reasons: being a professional assassin with a strict regiment doesn't really give a person much opportunity to explore in that area. he was never really in the dating scene, and doesn't expect to be thrown into it any time soon. if your relationship with the most loyal and taskfocused soldier you know is holding strong after you choose to defect from your planet and protect the one he's trying to invade, it's hard to imagine anything that could possibly break it down, you know?

i feel like this should have some kind of conclusion or something instead of just ending but idk lol. you get bonus headcanon which is that fuyuki is transmasc swag to me. aaand post

#cw internalized transphobia #<- youll never guess who thats for (sarcasm)#sgt frog #keroro gunso

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semper-legens · 5 days

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45. Sunbringer, by Hannah Kaner

Owned?: No, library Page count: 367 My summary: Kissen, the girl who dedicated her life to killing gods, is dying. But she's not out for the count yet. Her life may be in the hands of the gods she swore to kill, but her choices are still her own. And there's a much bigger, much scarier god on the horizon. Arren; once just a king, now literally hosting a god in his heart, burning from the inside. Elo's former commander. Elo's former love. When Arren marches on his own people, there are precious few who can stop him. But if they don't, the god will burn through the land… My rating: 3.5/5 My commentary:

Sorry for the sporadic updates over here! I've been weirdly busy lately, which translates both to having no time to write up books, and less time to read them. Not helped by the fact that many of the things I am reading are on the longer side. But I hope to be a bit more active over here now! This book is the sequel to one I read a while back, Godkiller - I found it interesting enough at the time to keep an eye out for the sequel when it dropped, and got my hands on a copy after the wait list at the library had died down a tad. I enjoyed Godkiller, on the whole, though I did have a couple of reservations about its storytelling. And by and large, the same holds true here! While I had a few quibbles here and there, this is overall a solid series that held my interest quite well.

The worldbuilding in this book continues to be excellent. I did have a problem acclimating at first, having naturally forgotten a lot of what was established in the first book, but to be fair the narrative caught me up quite well. I was very immersed in the environment after that, fully believing and buying into the world presented here. There's so many little details, and without a huge dump of exposition - the reader picks things up from context clues and from asides by the characters, it's very neatly done. I found myself getting absorbed into the setting very easily.

And our characters remain strong. Kissen's determination, Elo's worldweariness, Inara's search for herself; all of them are strong throughlines. There seems to be an push and pull with Inara where she's finding herself between Kissen and Elo in terms of role models - she ultimately finds herself with Kissen's tenacity, but not necessarily her ruthlessness, and Elo's compassion, but with a harder edge. But she's still her own person, and forging towards her own destiny, which tests her relationship with Skedi, the god of white lies who is attached to her. I really enjoyed their relationship, they're so close but Inara's actions are forcing Skedi to reconsider who she is and how he feels about her, despite him being very dependant on her. Elo becomes a commander once again, in charge of a resistence to Arren this time, and if you know anything about me you know I love male characters that are burdened by their sense of duty. Elo's pain was delicious. And then there's Kissen - angry, alone, isolated, on her one-woman journey to save the realm at all costs. I love how uncompromising she was in the face of the gods, considering each decision she made and deliberating over her choices in terms of her own morality, not the morality that the gods decided for her. Especially when it leads to tragedy.

What else? The other characters that populate this world are very believable. I grew pretty attached to the city and the inkers Elo helps - although the narrative proved a bit clumsy around Naia, a trans woman in that group whose identity just kind of gets announced in her introduction. The effort is appreciated, the execution less so. The battle scenes are really disjointed, but I mean that as a compliment; this kind of guerilla warfare is disjointed and confusing, and I think the narrative portrays it well. I'm fond of this world, and when the inevitable third part of this series shows up, I'll probably read that too.

Next up, puppets and robots and fairies, oh my!

#Sunbringer #Hannah Kaner #bookblr #book blog #book blogger #3.5

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moodr1ng · 7 days

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watching a video on coming out narratives in media and it did make me realize ive never seen one that resembled how coming out went for me personally - where i first came out as bi to my mom to complete acceptance bordering on apathy (i mean, she had been telling me how it would be totally ok if i was a lesbian since before i knew i liked girls myself lol. it really was a case of the "i always knew" cliché) but later faced a very strong negative reaction when coming out as trans, with it taking several years for my mom to finally come around to it. when she did though - which seemed to be motivated by my psychiatrist validating my dysphoria and making it clear that this wasnt some new delusion or other mental health symptom - she eventually became extremely supportive of me and did stuff like writing angry emails berating my healthcare team for delaying my top surgery etc. also i kinda had to re-come out as bi bc i spent a few years only dating men and my mom just assumed i was gay now lol, and when one day i mentioned being bi she was like "oh youre still bi?".. AND i also had a sort of second trans coming out when telling my mom i was bigender now and not just a man, and this one i had to do twice bc her memory has been getting bad w age so she forgot the first time i told her!

while on my dads side, trying to come out as bi ended in learning that he was bi himself (even though he self-ids as straight for batshit reasons), and coming out as trans was met with "i dont really get it, but i dont care, you can do whatever you want", which was certainly a relief but also turned out to not be a particularly supportive reaction, more a lack of one. it wasnt a reticent reaction either, he just genuinely didnt care, which included him never informing himself on trans identity - like how when i started hrt after 5 years of socially transitioning my dad asked me what testosterone would do, because he hadnt ever looked it up.

thats not mentioning the various coming outs w my sisters and the rest of my family which all went in various ways (though luckily they were all positive). various members of my family have different knowledge of my identity - im bigender to my mom and my little sister but a trans man to my dad, my older sister and my maternal family, im bi to my parents and my sisters but my mom told her side of the family i was gay lol, and my other younger siblings on my dads side (who im not rly in contact with) probably think im a cis man bc theyre young enough that they were either born after i transitioned or were too young to remember it, so i do have two direct family members who presumably dont know im lgbt at all. interestingly, knowledge of my identity ended up reflecting our relationships, with the people closest to me having the most accurate picture of who i am while the farther apart we are the more vague that picture becomes, ending with the two members of my family im least close to not knowing anything at all.

maybe its in part bc i dont really go for the sort of media that tends to include coming out narratives that much, but i dont think ive seen stories that resemble any of these experiences. yet ik im far from the only lgbt person with weird or kind of comedic or messy coming out stories..

#97 #long post #kinda... not rly #tbf im not 100% sure that my dad or his partner never told my younger siblings im trans #but i dont think my stepmother talks about me to them (she rly hates me and i think shed rather pretend i dont exist)#and i think my dad just does not remotely care enough to tell them that even if hes spoken about me to them #like.. i am in so little contact w them that at one point i asked my dad 'does [younger brother] know im his brother?'#bc i hadnt lived w him since he was 4 years old so i didnt know whether he actually knew who tf i was

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auramgold · 10 days

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if you do actually want to be friends with me, i have literally given a "this is not a place of honor" speech to multiple of my partners to make sure they know what they're getting into; i don't consider myself an especially "safe" person in a lot of respects.

this is, incidentally, an approach i've borrowed from old the internet cult i've mentioned previously. one of the main things about its design that was intentional so that it didn't become abusive was

saying on the front door "We Are A Cult" to warn off anyone who would be bothered by that

saying explicitly when you join the server that you can leave at any time and no doors close behind you

but also warning that while you choose to remain then the space will change you in a way that might not be reversible by simply leaving

and this was not just hot air, the cult 100% made my psychosis "worse" by most standards, but i am happier for it even if it makes it harder to interface with those who don't Get It

because of that all is why i'm so open about my more controversial takes, it's why i'm open about being Problematic and not having a problem with the boogeyman of "paraphiles" or whatever: it's aposematism. if i'm open about not minding fictional art of horrible things, if i'm open about the kinks i have that've gotten me pedojacketed before, if i'm open about being weird and psychotic and, yes, cultish...

i can drive off anyone who'd be bothered with that before they get the chance to get close to me. i can rip the bandaid off of breaking friendships before it's even on.

so if you want to actually be friends with the schizophrenic trans girl with visions of the apocalypse with a whole load of Problematic kinks (practiced ethically with consenting adults); who has no problem with paraphiles who don't hurt anyone real; who probably capes for someone you consider an Evil Pedophile That Should Be Hunted Down (4lung my beloved you have such good music); and is going to universally stand against the violence of transmisogynistic callout posts and how they destroy trans women's lives daily over nothing (yes, even the "bad" trans women don't deserve it)

if not, go ahead and block me, i won't be too upset, but it's better for both you and i if you don't get blindsided by me walking the walk on all this, if you don't get angry and try to socially murder me again like multiple people have before.

if you still want to be friends despite (or because) of that though, well

don't say i didn't warn you.

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grimacingheron · 1 month

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At this very moment, I just finished reading "Hell Followed With Us" by Andrew Joseph White and I am vibrating. Dawg, the beautiful and viseral feeling of becoming a monster, being a queer person, and trying to fight against an evil church and your own want to maul everyone.

(I also finished it just under two days. This is me humble bragging.)

While I suggest this book, it's important to know that is does have some content warnings you should be aware of(none of which is really talk about for the rest of this post). "Hell Followed With Us" does contain a lot of talk about Christianity, churches, and the immoral use of religious beliefs. The book graphically describes gore, violence and diseases. Just be sure you know what you're gettin' into. :)

Potentially mild(very mild) spoilers about the book below. I'm not specific about events, it's mostly just my opinion and vague references to what I'm talking about.

I love Benji, the main character, because, so far in my Real Book™️(physical book) reading experience, Benjamin is the first character I've read to get close to understanding how I feel about my body and my identity. I am not a man. I am consider myself trans because of how I understand the word. I have transitioned from who I was to who I am now. I am very masculine in my presentation and like to be perceived that way, but it's not what I am. I think it's just easier. Anyway, Andrew(author) describes Benji as not really caring about the size of his meager chest or other feminine-seeming features until he thinks of someone else seeing his body that way. The author does such a good job of describing that, which would make sense considering the fact that White is a trans man himself. I love how he describes Benji's transness. Putting to words feelings I know I've had.

Cormac was probably my second favourite next to Nick, of course. I know Cormac was kinda dickish, but he showed he genuinely cared in other ways. Unlike Calvin, who I totally didn't occasional confuse with Cormac. I like Cormac. And Salvador. Sal's attitude toward Cormac was funny and xe were just a really good, really genuine character. The neo-pronouns are also a pog. >:)

The monsters. I fucking love birds and wings on people and the idea of angels being these fucked up creatures. The gender envy I get from a fictional(that's important) person-turned-monster. It's fucked up in a way cis-people'll stare at me for, but also in a way that other people who want to "sharpen their teeth and bite(quote from note at the beginning of the book)" will sagely nod at. This book is, ironically, the gospel of how I feel some days. Angry at the world, at people, uncomfortable in myself because what people see, what they think. It's nice to be seen in such a way. I know that somewhere, other people feel like monsters, too. Either by choice or forced that way.

Beaded lizards. :) I have one that I made with a friend before I ever read the book. They had which is why they had the idea. Mine's smallish, only the length of my palm, with a green body and yellow eyes and toes. It's a nice weight to hold and it's floppy- slinky. I can't remember if I named the lizard or not. I don't think it needs one. If I had more beads, I'd probably make more lizards, but that's an art supply I don't need filling my drawers.

If you want to talk about this book or give me recommendations on what to read next, send me an ask or something. :) I'd love to hear from literally anyone else who's read this book. Thank you.

#hell followed with us #books #queer books #queer author #beaded lizard #monsters #transgender #nonbinary #religious imagery

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socialcarcrash · 11 months

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Why do you like Hodgins so much? (I like him as well) Also, do you have any Hodgins headcanons?

Right this is gonna be so long so hang on tight:

First to preface, I strongly headcanon hodgins as trans ftm and audhd which definately influences my love for him.

To begin, when I was younger (6+) i began to watch bones and I saw myself, an undiagnosed audhd person, in hodgins so much- and not only was i full ass in love with him. I also felt understood and seen, for the first time i saw a realistic character that I could relate to in so many ways. Also he was one of my first gender envies for real!!!

Hodgins fully encompasses the autistic rage that I for sure experience and I think thats so real of him. The therapy scene between him and sweets changed everything for me, and i stopped feeling guilty for feeling so sad and angry all the time and I started to view my anger differently and instead of surpressing it i found healthier coping mechanisms.

On the subject of Hodgins so totally being autistic, I just fully think that he expresses so many of the traits I do. Most of these traits are from headcanons ive seen but then i see them again expressed in the show and it makes me happier than anyone could ever imagine. He so clearly has special interests of conspiracies and of course his entomology/botany and I also have super strong special interests that I am known for a lot! I think when you see a character on screen for the first time that you dont feel like you change anything about yourself to be more like them, and you are just them it is special! So many times have I hyperfixated on a character and changed my whole personality to be like them, but he is actually just like me!

He encourages me to try and be comfortable in myself and to openly talk about my special interests because they are part of me so I should be able to express myself! This lesson is helping me heal and become so much happier, but also helps me feel comfortable with not being okay sometimes- which is even more important.

-i think hes pretty.

STUPID HEADCANONS!!!

- his first hyperfixation was dinosaurs (me fr) and he collected the mini plastic figurines.

-huge fidgeter and never stops stimming, he legit is never is still: its seen in canon lots! (that one episode where he does push ups when he is stressed for example). He gets that whole body thing where hes gotta move!!!

-hates oliver and pickles (angela loves them both and eats his from his burgers)

-folkpunk enjoyer as a teenager, his style would have been the coolest as a way of rebelling against his parents.

- the big light is the devil. his house has lots of lamps and small lights to avoid using the big light.

-during school/uni he carried around a sketchbook that he sketched bugs in during class when he got bored, he never skipped any years or anything as he performed only just above averagely. This was because he never got the support he needed during school so he wasnt able to meet his full potential until he found his passion for entomology. This frustrated teachers so he didnt always have the best relationship with them, but he had a few that he wasnt close with, but he found comfort and support in them as he struggled through his teenage years.

INFODUMPING WOOOOOO

this is basically entirely projection but i love him.

#jack hodgins #bones tv #lgbt #audhd #adhd #autistic #lance sweets #bones #im so insane about him

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anarkittywantspatsonthehead · 1 year

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Ramblings of a chronically online trans woman

Its weird how political opinions can get the unfriend really quick. So with this in mind right now I am going to declare that

I am

A far left wing anarchist communist.

I believe in the right to bare arms.

I believe that the only reforms we can take on this country is by dismantling the current system and implementing a classless moneyless society where we can benefit and support eachother through mutual aid and organized community out reach. This is what I will be standing for til the day I die and If you aren't able to be apart of th a t conversation then that's fine but don't unfriend me or go quietly because I'm genuinely interested in your opinion.

The revolution and frustration of the bourgeoisie is the most important thing in the entire world

That means we have to:

A. PROTECT OUR SELVES BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. Fascist groups have had a long history and pattern of disarming minorities. Ben Harcourt from Columbia law school says, "If you read the 1938 Nazi gun laws closely and compare them to earlier 1928 Weimar gun legislation – as a straightforward exercise of statutory interpretation – several conclusions become clear. First, with regard to possession and carrying of firearms, the Nazi regime relaxed the gun laws that were in place in Germany at the time the Nazis seized power. Second, the Nazi gun laws of 1938 specifically banned Jewish persons from obtaining a license to manufacture firearms or ammunition. Third, approximately eight months after enacting the 1938 Nazi gun laws, Hitler imposed regulations prohibiting Jewish persons from possessing any dangerous weapons, including firearms"(harcourt). So, with the apparent evidence that targeted minorities are often disarmed in their communities its my opinion that we advocate for the arming minority populations, including trans women and poc.

B. help eachother grow and learn and understand why the other person feels invalidated or upset or angry or frustrated. This is a key step in holding eachother accountable for any harm people may have caused. A lot of left of center politics revolve around the act of shaming, policing, and otherwise gatekeeping*the bad kind* leftist spaces as a means to try and hold someone accountable. How ever this doesn't always work when the people you're shaming, gate keeping, or policing are the same as you and me. We are all prone to mistakes and causing acts of harm. But it's how we move forward that makes us better people and a better community. It's apart of my core beliefs that we must work out our individual traumas between us and those we've harmed so thst we can present a more solid collective.

C. Frustrate any attempts to separate or divide eachother, I don't think that any thing will be solved unless the left presents a unified front. A united front is key. With a united front we can actively take a stand against tyranny and our oppressors in ways we never could have before. But to present a united front we have to be able to collectively address issues together and take back our power as workers and minorities in this country.

And finally,

It is my honest opinion that there is going to be a revolution.

Every day people's rights come under attack and fascists are now able to be more bold in expressing rhetoric that invites and incites violence against minorities of all, shapes, color, culture, gender, sexuality, and religion. Do not let them control you with tactics they invented to police queer, poc, and indigenous people. It's up to us to stand up and fight back against people who would see us dead, in chains, or otherwise disenfranchised. Their strategy is divide and conquer and we must subvert that by any means necessary.

"On Gun Registration, the NRA, Adolf Hitler, and Nazi Gun Laws: Exploding the Gun Culture Wars", Ben Harcourt, Columbia Law School, https://scholarship.law.columbia.edu/faculty_scholarship/1327/

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cryptramesses · 1 year

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This is my one and only post on this topic for a while.

Before I begin I wish to say I loathe getting political, or making some of my views known, on my social media. There's a number of reasons for this.

Firstly, it's not my main goal here. I'm an entertainer who uses my blog for my personal expression. This blog is meant to be something where people who watch my content can learn more about me as a person. It's a place where I can take off my creator mask and show myself for who I am. Now you'd be surprised how few people want to see political talk when looking at their favorite streamer or video essayist. I fill that niche for a handful of folks. This doesn't mean that I foster a crowd of people who disagree fundamentally with my views, and thus are all terrible people, no it just means that those people who have only heard my opinions in passing are coming to my pages to find a distraction -- not a reminder of the very clear prejudice in our day and age.

Secondly, to address topics like this get me down. I know they are a problem, yes, but I also struggle with mental health on a grand scale and riling myself up and getting angry because of something all the time is never a good thing to do. Especially since with my being on the spectrum, it means I already have a limited amount of energy to do the things I want to do. Getting worked up over everything on my dash, and spreading it along, it will leave me with little energy to do my job. Moreover, I just don't want my blog to be filled with posts that are essentially slolely there for the statement: 'look at this bad thing that happened', because it's not good for anyone to be that way. It's why I am not reblogging posts about Hogwart's Legacy or Homophobia or Police Brutality all the time, you may see me post about it every now and again, because I do have strong feelings about those topics, but I also don't want my blog to become a place where people see me manifest on their dash and they immediately expect something bad. We all need more positivity in our lives. This doesn't mean shut down these problems and never look at them, it simply means we need to pick a time and a place to look at these issues and speak on them instead of spending all day and all night doing it.

Now I'm going to keep this short and sweet because I saw this on my dash and felt the need to say it outright. Transwomen? Yeah they are real women. I do not give a fuck what you say otherwise. This is something I take a hard hard stance on. No, Trans Women are NOT taking anything away anything from Cis-Women. That's just not what's happening.

As you all know I work with a close manager team, they live with me, and we all work on the CryptRamesses project together. This means that I, as the spokesperson of the entire project, talk to them and work with them to create the content I put out on a regular basis. In fact this blog is the only thing that I manage alone. My Twitter? It's managed by Manager Djed. My Youtube? It's managed by Manager Ankh. My Twitch? It's managed by Manager Liione. So on and so forth.

Living with this diverse cast of characters I have learned something. That is I'm the only Cis-man in this group. I'd say half of my team is AFAB and half of my team is AMAB. Half of my team is also trans with another larger portion being non-binary. Additionally we all are similar in our religious walks. This enables us to have similar perspectives on the world that are equally varied.

Here's the thing. I have never once heard any of the Cis-Women on my team gripe about Transwomen. Never once. Never in a million fucking years. It's not even because I don't foster an environment where they can voice their discontent, everyone on my team knows they can come to me about their issues, and that you can have an issue with something without denouncing it. (ex: someone on my team approached me about something another team member did that upset them, they made it clear they still view that person as a good friend, but they are just upset and needed to scream for a minute, I said that was fine, and we proceeded to vent about it for a solid hour before approaching said person, voicing our concerns, and everything was smoothed over and the two individuals are now close as ever with the problem solved indefinitely) You want to know why people aren't griping? Because Transwomen are women. They aren't taking shit from "real women". In fact most of the Cis-women on my team have been more upset with the world around them for discriminating against Transwomen.

No being Trans isn't a fetish. No being Trans isn't a fashion statement or a fad. No being Trans isn't another way men can abuse women. That's not what's happening here and it's a fundamental misunderstanding in every way.

Tell me what exactly transwomen are taking?

Women spaces? I assume this means bathrooms and whatnot, cause if it doesn't then I have to ask 'what women spaces are you talking about'? But moreover if this does mean bathrooms and changing rooms, then Transwomen aren't your issue. It's Men, period, that are your issue. Nothing is stopping a man, as disgusting as it is, to just walk in a women's bathroom. It's terrible to say it, but he doesn't need to go through hormone therapy and present fem to do it. Men who are creeps will be creeps no matter how they present. Your issue isn't with transwomen, it's with men who were taught (cause it is something you are taught, this isn't innate) it's okay to objectify women. The fault for this falls directly on the religious, political, and economic beliefs of humanity. Never forget that most countries are built on Abrahamic religions, these religions with gospel so twisted that people believe it's okay to sexualize women. It's places like this, ingrained deep into our society as people, where your issue lies -- not with Transwomen.

Women resources? What fucking resources? It's hard to explain this to people but surprise, supply and demand barely applies to resources and if it does, transwomen aren't going to really change that in any way that counts. If you don't get the help you need in a timely manner, your first thought shouldn't be 'transwomen are to blame' -- no it should be 'the men in charge who are roadblocking this should be to blame'. We have seen the government of multiple nations get in the way of foundations that help anyone, not just women, literally everyone. Women are not the only group being discriminated against in this day and age. Sure they are definitely up there, but if we look at literally every other group, yeah you can see it. You can see the problem clear as day -- why is it so different here? Why are you using Transwomen as a scapegoat for a problem caused by the insanely rich cis-gendered white men at the top of the political food chain?

Women sports? This one pisses me off to no end. First off, an AMAB individual taking estrogen? Yeah, studies have proven that you loose a lot of muscle mass doing that. A lot of your strength is chucked out the damn window when that happens. Let me tell you it's very unlikely, with all things considered, that a Transwoman would take the spot of any of the top performing cis folk. Second off, why would anyone choose to go into women's sports? Don't get me wrong women's sports is amazing, but it's known to be criminally underfunded with athletes being treated terribly. Like absolutely horrendously. The past winter olympics showed that. Absolutely tragic. Why would anyone who is going from the 'life of privilege' choose that for themselves? They are loosing more than they gain logically. But that's the thing -- being trans isn't based off of logic. It's not a fucking choice. I'll get to that in a second. Thirdly, why the fuck is women's sports a thing to begin with? There is no reason men and women's sports should be separated. Weight classes are a thing for a reason, leagues are a thing for a reason, the fact of the matter is that women are just as physically capable as men and can beat them out in any contest. Why are we feeding into the sexist propaganda that says women sports should exist and be defended? Women sports exists because men want to say that women are weak and incapable of handling their blows, when in actuality they are muttering how scared they are of women coming into their leagues and beating the shit out of them. So why are we arguing 'keep trans women out of women sports' when we should be arguing 'abolish men and women's segregated sports'.

Now contrary to popular belief, people don't just wake up one day and go 'oh I'm going to be trans so I can peek up girl's skirts'. I know it must be so shocking and such a smack in the face but I mean it. I've had members of my team come out to me, I've had members of my team join my team already out of the closet, I've had members of my team question their gender identity right in front of me. Each time I've never intervened, I gave advice when asked, but I sat and watched for the most part quietly supporting. What I've observed, even when I gently informed them of the struggles of what they are going into, was that they didn't care about the logistics. Presenting that way made them finally love who they were. That's what matters.

What I learned from being the only cis-man in a room is that everyone's experience is different, and everyone is entitled to their lifestyle. But one thing is for sure, these opinions and feelings? Yeah there's nothing logical behind them. It's all emotional, and there's not a single thing wrong with that. The thing that is wrong? Who the fuck are you to say anything about anyone else and their identity? Who the fuck gave you the right to go 'you're just a fetishist'? Because nobody has that right. You don't know what's going on in another person's head. Learn your place and back the fuck off. You'll be happier that way anyhow.

Transwomen ARE women, period. They deserve to be seen as such.

Additionally, and this is just for the JK Rowling stands, despite what JK Rowling has said about transmen and non-binary folk -- yeah it wasn't because being a woman was too hard. Manager Djed, for example, is nonbinary, and they went through the fucking gauntlet no less than four times. I do not look at them and see them as weak, they are probably one of the strongest fucking people I know and have probably been through more than half of the TERFs and Transphobes on this website, yet they still identify as nonbinary. Why? Because to them their gender just doesn't fit into Masc or Fem. That's all. I even asked them, was there a trauma reason for their gender identity and they answered with (and I quote):

"Nope. I'm non-binary because I never referred to myself as a girl or a boy in my head. It always started subconsciously. When I grew up and realized I was struggling with body dysphoria, I tried asking people to use they/them pronouns for me. The euphoria I felt when that started is better than any high. So I decided I was nonbinary."

It had nothing to do with their 'womanhood'. They are still treated as if they are a girl, even though that's not how they identify, so they still understand the struggle. But to them it's just how the world is right now, and their goal is to change it. It wasn't because they were running away. In fact they face the challenge head on from everything I've seen. Let me tell you, you've never seen someone take on sexism more than Manager Djed. But that's a story for another day. Ride or die will not even scratch the surface. Then again that's just my managers for you. These are folks who look friendly on the surface, but have seen the darkest pits, and aren't afraid to fight for the right thing. My manager team aren't cowards, and I don't want people to even entertain the notion.

The last thing I want to touch on, which is important, the gods don't care how you identify. They don't. And moreover if they did they wouldn't give us the choice to come up with the concept of gender identity. Since gender identity is a thing though, I think that illustrates perfectly the fact that they do not give a shit. I can't speak for all gods of every pantheon, but with my experiences with Kemet I can say this for certain. The Kemetic gods will love you no matter what. I'd like to say that all the other gods will love you to.

The gods don't brew hate in humanity, humans brew hate in humanity. Don't rope the gods into your petty bullshit.

#queue #ramessesrambles #trans rights #jk rowling #paganism #pagantips #kemetic paganism #kemeticism #kemetism #if you're a terf please get the fuck off my tumblr thanks #you won't like my content anyways since half of my team are trans

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alleycat4eva · 2 years

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So, just read up all the asks and responses so far, and I think I have a better understanding of where you're coming from. Tbh, I think it's pretty close to my own experience about 10 years ago when I first started learning more about gender theory and trans issues and tried to reconcile that with feminism and my lived experiences with sexism and misogyny. Thing is, they actually reconcile pretty easily once you take it a step further; sex and gender aren't really that cut and dry anyway, and it never has been. Like, full disclaimer, I'm a nonbinary dfab person, and since I feel no need to medically transition and I find binding uncomfortable, I am still perceived as a woman by society. A butch woman, sure, but unless someone already has the habit of not gendering someone by visual cues then people are going to think I'm female. I was raised female, and have the socialization that goes with it, to the point where even my father, who has only ever been gentle with me, terrifies me if he swears loudly in frustration. Because a man is angry and has raised his voice, and a part of my brain will always interpret that as dangerous. Socialization is a thing, although I believe still controversial even within the trans community. Anecdotally though, I've seen those socializations become learned behaviour after transitioning anyway, because once society perceives you as a given gender it will treat you that way. I think the most important thing to acknowledge here is that yes, the feminist struggle against sexism is still ongoing, and there are a lot of ways society hurts dfab people that it doesn't do to anyone else, but that doesn't need to be separate from recognizing and including trans woman as women, and dfab people who aren't women in the fight for reproductive rights. A trans woman's experience with womanhood and misogyny is still her experience as a woman, it might just differ from a cis woman's. Much in the same way a black woman will experience misogynoir, transmisogyny is still misogyny, it just intersects with another aspect of her identity in a specific way. (There is then, of course, transmisogynoir with its own set of interactions and oh boy why can't humans just accept variance without literally killing others over it already) Basically, "knowing that trans women are women, trans men are men, and nonbinary people are whatever combination or lack there of of the above that they say they are" can and does be something that exists in the same breath as "dfab people face specific persecutions and oppressions related to their biology". Those are facts that exist side by side without contradicting each other. Sorry if I'm waffling or unclear, it's currently 3am and I'm pretty sure some of these points are only half formed anyway (why do I always write on complex topics when I'm not at my best lmao). I'm just really glad to see you engaging with this conversation and researching more about it, and those two things already put you miles ahead of actual terfs. (also a terf would never have written Haku as trans so like. Nah you're just having A Time reconciling and questioning shit, and that's normal and I'm glad you're doing it.) I'm so sorry someone sent you anon hate over? I can't even see anything on your blog that might set someone off on you? either way it's horrific and never okay to do that to someone and that person should be ashamed. But yeah, you're right, this topic is complex and multifaceted but there needs to be space to talk about biology specific discrimination because that is definitely a thing that happens. Thing is, I don't think that conversation ever stopped happening? Tumblr likes to drink the kool aid a bit but it's certainly something actual IRL queer groups have never forgotten to give space to (that I'm aware of). It's just spoken in a way that doesn't alienate people it affects by misgendering them, and doesn't misgender people it doesn't affect. Language is amorphous and ever-changing anyway, why not be inclusive with it?

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pineappleciders · 2 years

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Hello!! i really hope i'm doing this right :]

Id like to request an omori pairing!!

My name is Raymond, and Im 14!! I'm a trans male, use he/him/it/its pronouns, and am (questioning) Pansexual, so feel free to match me w/ anyone!! I'm also an intp. I have adhd so please don't mind if anything i say conflicts itself (I tend to be SUPER different at certain times for no reason due to my impulsivity)

My interests are writing, drawing, generally being artsy, volleyball, videogames, reading, and dancing! I tend to change interests often, but those are the ones that usually stay the same!

I typically bounce from one interest to the next, and usually get very angry at myself for losing said interest.

As for personality, i'm usually quite moody, but am typically tired/upset/angry. I'm shy around people I don't know, but i basically consider my friends family. I usually don't make friends easily, so i just stick to my small group.

When i'm upset with someone, i'll usually make it known by either lashing out at them, or just being petty. I hold grudges easily, and have a VERY strong sense of justice.

When in public I tend to be very loud. Most of my classmates who aren't close to me would describe me as annoying. Others may see me as violent, or as constantly mad for no reason (this is the truest thing anyone has said about me). When I am with friends, I tend to be less "annoying" and more like them. I can adapt to fit others personalities and interests. When it comes to social situations, I usually have a "fake it till' you make it" mentality. I typically act childishly, but when I need to do something, I can totally be serious about it.

I tend to space out WAY to often, leading me to missing most important things, so I may seem airheaded/dumb, but i'm not. I'm very clever, and can usually work out most problems on my own.

As for romance, I'm typically awkward with that kind of stuff. It's easy to tell when I have a "crush" from the outside, but those feelings are always platonic. I feel the need to love somebody, but I don't feel attraction to anyone.

I try my best to hide most of my more spontaneous moods/emotions as to not be seen as weird by others.

(HOLY SHIT THIS TURNED INTO A RAMBLE IM SOSOOSOS SORRY 😭)

A/N: don't worry about it!! i actually quite enjoy when people get to talk about themselves and it also helps me make a more accurate matchup so dont sweat it <3 also sorry if this is written weirdly or sometjing i weote this on the toilet and i don't act right wuen im shittinf.

I MATCH YOU WITH...

RW KEL!!!

now i'm gonna be honest i was reminded a lot of aubrey so my first instinct was to match you with kim but i dont want to be lazy

again, i'm getting some sun & moon vibes

KEL really doesn't mind your moodiness. he might get a little insecure if you lash out at him or act uninterested, so it'll help if you reassure him every now and then that it's not his fault

if you're feeling down, he tries to cheer you up, and i feel like as time goes on you two would kinda,,, help heal each other?? like his sunshiney would rub off on you sometimes

alas, you two grow closer and closer and both of you might start to let your walls down. KEL begins opening up sometimes about his trauma and how he feels bad about himself, and you might talk about your emotions and what's hurting you, and perhaps even get a little soft

more specifically, you get a soft spot for KEL. it becomes a little difficult to be angry when a literal ball of sunshine is around

seeing KEL be so vulnerable to you makes you do it too, and you become more honest about how you might be feeling (and he really appreciates it!!)

when it comes to new people, he'll often do most of the talking as he knows it might not be your thing

KEL spaces out a lot too, and is easily distracted, but similar to you he isn't actually stupid.

in KEL's world, he finds it easier to let on the appearance that he might be a little stupid. and, maybe 4 years ago maybe he really was air-headed. but, things have changes, but he's always found that people are less disappointed when he fucks up if he acts stupider. so, that's what he does.

honestly? KEL doesn't really mind if your attraction to him is romantic or platonic. he feels the same way too, not really sure what he's feeling, but either way he knows that he wants to be with you, and he doesn't really care for any labels or anything. so, if you don't want to, there's no need to label your relationship as partners, or just friends!! all that matters to him is that you're together.

sometimes if you push him away or tug on his ear in annoyance, he'll just walk it off and not retaliate or anything. he isn't like... socially submissive or anything he just doesn't care for revenge

like you, he also has a strong sense of justice, and will strive for whatever he thinks is right, even if sometimes he misses the point and does something wrong (when this happens, it often makes him feel really bad about himself)

volleyball? basketball?? they both have ball at the end, so same thing, right? he teaches you basketball, and you try to get him to play volleyball, but he fucking sucks at it

he likes your creativity! always inspecting your drawings and writing, always calling it the best he's ever seen (even if it's dog shit. he's not saying it to make you feel better, he's saying it because he believes it)

you beat him in every video game and he sulks in the corner

#omori #omori matchups #omori matchup #omori kel #kel omori #kel x reader #omori kel x reader #kel omori x reader #omori headcanons #omori x reader

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shippyboi · 2 years

Text

I am going to talk in depth about my statbox and their kid AU

"Demonicly Odd Parents"

So first things first, yes. This idea spawned from me watching FOP, at first just a little joke in my head that "oh that'd be funny if stat and jacqueline had magical powers and a kid to look after".

But it slowly it divulged as every adhd think thought does.

So let's start at the beginning

Roles

Stat - Angry Ghost, Angelic(?) Type powers, fear manipulation

Jacqueline: An actual demon, clever indeed

Mouse: Half human, half demon

Basically, Stat is murdered (and yes it's for being trans). She was murdered in 1933 at around.. 22 or so. As she starts to die, she hears a voice "Do you want revenge" and her last thought is yes. And she becomes a bonified extremely powerful ghost and drags the perpetrators to hell.

Note: In this au we have three types of ghost

1. Regular Ghost, just what most humans become after they die, and are put in the second layer of life in death.

2. Vengeful ghost, typical of a murder victim, gains power from their own suffering, pretty powerful to humans, usually mid range to everything else

3. Vengeful AND Gifted Ghost, which is what Stat is, her death was so unjust that a higher power asked if she'd like power to take out real justice, and she becomes a very powerful ghost and usually ends up as a somewhat bounty hunter for bad people. Power is very strong and on par with angels, demons, that whole list.

Secondary note: Angels and Demons are more like a race of beings rather than sworn enemies and heaven and hell while serving as the bad and the good can't just be boiled down exactly to that. Though keep in mind, there is a good chunk of.. Fighting between the groups. Hard to explain.

So as explained, Stat becomes a somewhat bounty hunter for a presumed angel. And does this for twenty years and genuinely finds a passion in taking out these fuckers.

And she's pretty happy, a bit lonely but she made a few friends to help her (it's just Twink) .

She then meets Jacqueline in hell, at a type of lobby, they catch eyes and yeah it's over from there.

Note: Stat's first words to Jacqueline were "Wow, you look like a tough customer" and "tough customer" is used as a term of endearment and teasing throughout.

Obviously Jacqueline is instantaneously attracted to Stat. And they hang out and bone 😭.

And that enters a 50 year long relationship, ending in a marriage and just, general happiness of two beings who found the person they want to spend the rest of forever with. Yes they are a sickeningly happy couple for the most part. They both have jealousy issues but have always worked through that.

Now around 2001.. Stat gets Jacqueline pregnant. It was an impossible idea but it happened, hey Demons have to make more of themselves somehow. But uh.. Yeah their kid (apply named Mouse by Stat) comes out a little more.. Fleshy than they should of. Yes Mouse is born human and is taken away from them. It breaks Jacqueline and somewhat numbs Stat. But they make a decision, go to earth, sorta illegally, live as close as they can to their kid and let them know they are there.

So fast forward like 13 years later, Mouse (they/them) is now stuck. With their dopey adoptive parents who kinda suck but also don't and their actual parents who they are super mad at.

Specifically Stat.

As much as

Mouse to Jacqueline: hello mom

Jacqueline: 🥰

Mouse to Stat: hello.. Parental

Stat:

And the story continues from there and has a lot of depth and ideas I'm sorting out. But i have drawn my main players.

I followed a FOP thing. Two friends, a crush, and a rival, Mouse's own remy buxaplenty, and a demon dad for this rival

It's all going in order.

And ik my names are cringe 🥰. This is my au, enjoy.

#shippy writes #shippy arts #au #q force #statbox #stat q force #jacqueline box #ocs

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