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#i have never owned a cat but i was told 4 times in one week that i look like a cat person
dirty-spiced-chai · 5 months
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sometimes the demons take over.
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byeolbeloved · 3 months
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Make me forget -choi san
pairings 》 mafia!san x reader
genre 》 mafia!au, smut, angst, tiny fluff, forbidden love
warnings 》 mention of guns/violence/blood/abuse, cheating (not on reader,) sexual content, MINORS DO NOT READ
summary 》 choi san was a cold, feared mafia boss who knew nothing outside the world of gore and killing. Thats when he met you, the girl who showed him love. But what stands in his way between having you to himself is his arranged marriage. That still does not stop his feelings for you.
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Everyone feared San.
Apart from him being in the Choi family- one of the biggest mafia family trees in the world, San was a nightmare. His reputation was filthy ever since he was young. He trashed anywhere he’d step foot at, petrified whoever he spoke to and spat on his victims lifeless bodies after smothering their blood onto the walls- all with an emotionless look on his face.
But San feared you.
He feared you because of how lovable you were. How easy you smiled to people. How you’d drop anything you were doing to help people. How you cried at other people's pains. But most importantly. He feared how you weren’t scared of him. He knew if he were to ever pull a gun to your head, which god dammit he would pull it to his after, you’d smile at him. That smile that made his black heart excited. The only smile he could smile back to. The only time he smiled.
It was moments like these where he’d realise, although he has seen all the horror and gore of the world, he knew nothing about living.
Laying you down on your baby pink bed sheets, throwing some plushies that got in the way off the bed for you to pick up later. Your bright bedroom. Your simple quiet life contrasted his. His life of screams and gunshots. He liked it. He loved it. Because with you he felt like a man able to feel. Able to love.
He didn’t think it was possible for a human being to be this cute. The way you whimpered at his nibbles and breath on your neck. Your back arched, full body touching his when he played with your nipples. Your trembling hands gliding his back when he connected his lips to yours.
Cute was never in San’s vocabulary. But ever since that day he saw you at the cafe, serving pancakes to a customer with a bright smile, holding your belly as you lightly giggled, he used that word for the first time in his life. “Cute.”
His legs moved on their own. His hand pushed the door open on its own. Suddenly there you were right in front of him, the same smile on your face as you asked what he wanted to order. Although now, he could see the way your cheeks puffed up with a light blush, your nose scrunched when thinking about what to make him when he told you to order for him, the way your eyes sparkled. So shiny he could see his reflection through them.
His dirty, filthy, monstrous reflection.
But that was far from what you thought of him, after you handed him a cappuccino with a cat drawn on the foam with cocoa powder. “No need to act tough, I know you think it’s cute too” you told him with a giggle. And yes. He thought it was very cute. He thought you were cute. You wouldn’t think a man dressed in an all black, gelled back hair, tough build with sharp facial features could be in a cafe with pink wallpapers and flowers decorated on the walls. But for the next 4 weeks, San came to your cafe everyday. Ordered the same things. Sat at the same table. He’d stay until closing time and you two chatted anytime you weren’t preoccupied with other customers or cleaning up. He was surprisingly very charming and funny considering his dark visuals. You naturally felt comfortable with him which led you to venting about anything and everything to him. Whether it was about how you think mint chocolate is underrated or how complicated your love life is. He listened to everything. Soon later he started dropping you off at your house. Always walking you up to your apartment and occasionally giving you a kiss goodnight on your forehead.
San was never this slow with anyone. He could get any girl he wanted just from eye contact. But with you, he wanted to be proper. He wanted to feel you slowly, afraid he might break you from how fragile you were. He wanted all of you. But there was something that got in his way from that.
San was a married man.
“Did she…. Did she do this to you?” you said with a horrified expression, afraid to touch the burn mark on his back. San sighed sitting up from the bed facing you. “Y/N… it’s nothing, I’m okay” he gilded his thumb across your swollen bottom lip from your makeout session a minute ago. “San, look at your back! You barely got any skin left!” you lightly raise your voice in concern. “You’re not going back to that house. You can’t let her do these things to you San, you can’t!��
Park Seoyoon. Daughter of Mr.Park- one of the most feared Mafia leaders in the game. She was a fox. Elegant on the outside. Everyone loved her because she was so beautiful and bubbly. Her pale-milky skin stood out from her dark black hair. She was tall and slim. Her face was next-level beauty- although also 50% cosmetic. Everyone thought of her as the perfect wife. But under that mask she was nothing but a sly manipulator and abuser who got whatever she wanted.
Their fathers arranged their marriage for money and power. Which is why they are so respected as a couple in the mafia world.
San hated her. Despised her. She’d bring home multiple guys throughout the day. She threw water at her servants. Her voice was obnoxiously loud and annoying.
The beginning stages of their marriage Seoyoon tried her best at seducing San. Only to get ignored by him so she did everything to ruin his life. She knew he could not fight back at her, because one word to daddy and San would be dead meat.
First it was teasing- hooking up with his friends and purposely getting herself into trouble. Then verbal abuse- which didn’t do much to him since San never reacted to harsh words so it quickly turned physical. Her tantrums included throwing plates in his way but this time was too far when she threw boiling hot water at him neglecting whatever she said she wanted.
“I want to help you Sannie…” you felt helpless seeing him come home with bruises you couldn’t stop him from getting.
“You’re doing enough Y/N, being in my arms is enough baby” he pulled you from your waist to move closer to his body, never breaking eye contact with you he tangled his hand into your hair. He has you on his lap now slowly grinding your bodies on one another.
“W-wanna make you feel good” your voice was above a whisper, gently gliding your nails on the back of his neck sending shivers down his spine.
“Make me forget Y/N… Make me forget her and show me you’re mine” he says before clashing his lips onto yours, not roughly but passionately with hunger, as if he has been starved from your touch for decades.
Clothes were off in seconds. Both of your body heat grinding on each other could start a fire. A fire that will destroy the world. Destroy this world for not allowing you two to write your story. For not allowing him to hold your hand out in public and show you off to all his friends. For not allowing you to show him off. For not allowing you to plan your kids names and whose eyes they’re going to have. San could burn the world for you. Maybe it would be better for you two. Maybe you could finally do the things you wanted to do.
That fire could turn the world into the sun after you slowly slide yourself on him. Adjusting to his length you rest your forehead on his and whisper “Use me San… I w-wanna be yours in every way…c-claim me.”
Without another word he pushes you up, only to guide you down again causing your whole body to shudder. This goes on till he’s now thrusting into you from below, grunting at every thrust.
Your body rocks at every thrust, holding onto his shoulder for support, hair bouncing as he moves the strands from out of your face, looking at you with nothing but pure love in contrast to the lustful movements he’s doing beneath you.
“You’re so good to me Y/N fuck mine. mine. all mine yea I don’t deserve you like this fuck”
He doesn’t mean it. San has never felt insecure in his life. But part of him hurts knowing he can’t be a normal lover to you. It hurts him that he can’t live a normal life with you- because his life is far from normal. You’ve told him many times in the past how you don’t care. You like the way things are between you two. Because you love him and that's enough for you. But part of him can’t believe he could ever be loved.
“I love you San” you manage to get out between moans. His pace is now rough, fast, hard. Your walls are clenching onto him. Afraid he’ll slip out. Afraid he’ll go. Afraid it’ll end. But he holds you. He pulls you closer to his chest, face in the crook of your neck as he bites down.
“I love you my Y/N”
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witchxxjpg · 4 months
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lestappen hogwarts au dedicated to my harry potter marathon (1k words)
+ seeker Charles and chaser Max (definitely not dating you know👀)
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(i know that the age gaps are incorrect and that 11 years-old Max never raced international but for the sake of this au i change these things))
******
Max sat in his compartment alone.
When he looked outside all he could see was children and their parents running around Platform 3/4 with huge trolleys filled with bags and suitcases. But Max himself had only a mediocre case with shabby textbooks and some clothes to wear during his first school year.
Honestly speaking, he didn't know what he was supposed to do. He didn't want to stand out, even though he was well aware that he wasn't quite like all the others.
When he passed by the other compartments, all the children were chatting and, Max guessed, they were just happy to see or meet each other, while some of the older students were discussing their summer breaks.
Max didn't know anyone here. He didn't even have anyone to say goodbye to.
His mother was too busy in Belgium to fly just for him to London. And his father was still furious at him for the decision to take a year off karting to study in this school for wizards. He had just dropped him off three hour ago near King's Cross Station and left without any goodbye.
Standing on the platform, Max'd thought about what to do.
After a failure of trying to ask an officer about platform 3/4 that was written on his boarding ticket Max'd sat on a nearby bench, hopping that soon he'd see someone who looked like a wizard.
And he was lucky enough that after only an hour of waiting he saw a girl, pulling a trolley of suitcases and a cage with a huge brown owl.
When Max had visited Diagon Alley last week with a big disheveled guy named Hagrid to buy all the necessary equipment for his first year, he'd been told that he's allowed to have a pet like a cat or an owl in Hogwarts. But his father didn't even want to give him money to purchase a wand, so Max knew better than to ask for an animal, even though he really wanted to have a cat.
He got into the train well earlier than all the other students, because almost all sofas were empty. He took one of the farthest compartments and put his case on the bench near him. He was too short to throw it on the top shelf and he didn't know any lifting charms. Then started looking at other wizards.
After an hour of observing the almost empty platform, Max finally started seeing more people.
They were all different: some of them wearing usual clothes, that Max's seen people in, while some others were in ridiculous outfits that he decided was sort of wizard style.
But there were a lot of children, of course. Most of them were in the same usual clothes. However, Max was relieved to see that others wore black robes that Max himself was dressed it.
Later he noticed that some of the robes of other students were with colorful elements, unlike his own that was fully grey.
The departure time of the Hogwarts Express was close, so Max sat there and waited, listening to dulled noises on the platform.
Until the door of his compartment was wide open.
"Hey, sorry, all the others are full," said a young boy, who looked around Max's age. "Do you mind if we sit with you?"
Max didn't mind at all, so he shaked his head and offered the seats.
Behind the boy who asked were two older guys who entered the room.
"Need help with your luggage?" asked one of them, pointing at Max's miserable suitcase, and Max, nodding, pointed out in his head that they're not from England, judging from the accent of these two of them.
While he put Max's case on the top shelf, the other one asked, seeing his stiffness, "First time, right?"
Max smiled awkwardly and nodded.
"Don't worry, we don't bite," cheered up the guy who helped with the luggage, chuckling.
"But Charlie can, though!" said the other, ruffling the hair of the younger boy who entered first and laughing.
Max assumed that they were all brothers, considering how well they knew each other.
The younger boy, Charlie, looked scandalous, "Hey, it only happened once!" pointing at the guy who accused him. "And you totally deserved that!"
"Okay," chuckled again the older guy. "We'll go buy us some food".
"Yeah, let the kids bond together," said the other when they exited the compartment, still giggling.
As soon as they left the younger guy jumped on the seat, opposite Max, with a huge smile and stretched out his right hand, "Hello, I'm Charles".
Shaking Charles' hand, Max mumbled, "I'm Max".
"Oh, by the way, that were Jules and Lorenzo," said Charles, pointing at the direction where the older boys had left. "They can be very annoying, I know. But still cool".
Max hesitated, "Are they your brothers?"
"Lo is," Charles smiled. "Jules is my godfather, but he's more like a brother. Do you have siblings?"
With that question Max realized that he actually missed Vic. He last saw her two months ago, while video chatting with their mother. He hoped he'd be able to go visit them on winter holidays.
"Yes, I have a sister," Max mentioned. "But she lives with my mother, and I live with my father".
He saw that Charles liked talking. "Oh, are you parents wizards?"
"No, they are both -" Max remembered that Hagrid had called them somehow, people who can't do magic. But he didn't remember. "Well, you know, not wizards".
"Muggles?" helped Charles. "That's so cool! Mine are from Monaco. Both wizards, but it's a boring story".
That explained the accent, even though Max'd thought they were French.
Max thought if he could share more about himself, "Oh, I raced in Monaco once", he said before realizing that maybe wizards didn't even know what karting was.
Until he saw how Charles' eyes went comically wide.
"Really?!" he jumped off the seat opposite Max and sat right near him. "You do karting? I also do karting. Not like anything professional but we do it every holiday".
Time passed and Max didn't even realize that. Soon returned Lorenzo and Jules with their hands full of sweets and chocolatebars. That's when Max tried his first chocolate frog and got his first card.
Then when Charles was very emotional to discuss Max's karting championships with his brothers, deep red Max was awkward to hear all this excitement (he'd never admit that he liked it). And he didn't know what to say when the older guys invited him to Monaco for winter holidays to show off the skills.
During boat trip to Hogwars Max listened to Charles speaking about four houses and how he was sure he would be in Gryffindor, because all his family was Gryffindor. Max decided that he also wanted to be brave and be in Gryffindor.
Of course, they didn't get to the same house, none of them didn't even get to the house that they'd wanted, but it wouldn't stop them from becoming best friends and probably something more.
But that's a story for later.
Now Max was just excited for his first year in the magic world.
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kining-the-evil · 3 months
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Okay so hear me out, yandere Finnick Odair where he never lets the reader leave his house at victor's village, but somehow reader manages to escape and like reaches out to Snow because reader thinks he'll do something to help her. So Snow puts her on a train to the capital but when she gets to her room in the Presidential Palace Finnick is in there waiting her and tells her off for leaving him. Mid screaming at her he tells her that Snow ordered they get married Infront of the capital and all 12 districts so readers like offially suck with him and cant run away again.
(This was so long I'm so sorry, but I love your work sm!! ❤️)
My Pretty Little Bride
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Summary: exactly what the request says
Warnings: Yandere!Finnick, kidnapping, drugging, emotional abuse, forced marriage, very small mention of what snow forces Finnick to do.
Hunger games masterlist. All masterlist
Taglist: @flowercrowns-goodvibes
“Good morning, sweetheart,” Finnick greeted as he walked into the kitchen. He placed a kiss on your head before walking over to stove. “What should we do for Breakfast?”
You ignored him, staring out the window. You were curled up on the window seat that looked out on the beach, giving you a perfect view of the ocean.
“What time did you get up?” You shrugged, making him sigh. “Don’t act like that, you’re the one who messed up our morning walks.”
The morning walks. It had taken months for Finnick to trust you enough to take you out. But you fucked it up when you tried to run last week. Instead of freedom, all you got was bruises along your body from him tackling you and dragging you back to the huge house he kept you locked in.
Finnick spent the morning ignoring you, as though you were a cat curled up on the window. He made breakfast, leaving yours at your normal spot while he ate his own. He cleaned the dishes, and excused himself to shower and change, leaving you alone again.
Before a year ago you didn’t know Finnick. Sure, you knew of him, everyone in district 4 did, but you didn’t know him. You weren’t even sure if you’d ever met the man before that morning. The morning you woke up in a soft, warm bed instead of the hard one you’d gone to sleep in. When you woke up in a strangers house that would become your prison.
The sun was almost completely up by the time you heard Finnick coming back down the stairs. You finally looked away from the window, seeing him for the first time that day. He was dressed up in nicer clothing, making your heart collapse. He only dressed like that when he was going to be seen by the Capital.
“I have to go to the Capital for a few days, maybe a week, for an event." He absentmindedly told you, checking his reflection in a mirror in the hall.
"What?"
A small smile grew on his face from the shakiness of your voice. Finnick knew the only thing you hated more than being locked up here with him was being locked up here alone.
Finnick turned and walked towards you, taking your chin between his thumb and pointer finger to tip your head up towards him. "Don't worry, sweetheart. Everything in the house is stocked, and I'll be back in a few days." He pushed his lips to yours in a gentle kiss, not at all detoured by your lack of response. He gently caressed your face before stepping away with a sad smile.
You watched as he walked towards the door, and in a moment of desperation you ran at it. But of course, Finnick caught you in his large arms, swinging you both to face away from the door. "Don't you get tired of this?" He whispered against your neck while digging for something in his pocket. You hated how strong he was. Even now, as you used all of your body weight to fight against him, he only needed one arm to keep you pinned to his body. "Luckily I know you to well, my little bird. I was prepared." You caught sight of some sort of syringe, causing you to fight harder. Finnick sighed before pushing you against the wall roughly, making your head bounce against it. "Sorry, but I need you to be as still as possible." After a moment there was a sharp prick on your neck, and only seconds later your felt you fighting weaken. The room around you spun lightly as the corners of your vision went black. You went limp against Finnick as he whispered comfort into your ear. The last thing you hear being, "Just rest, little bird."
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
You woke up in your bed. The whole room was dark, and you were tucked securely into the bed. Your entire body protested as you sat up, shaking slightly from the energy it took. Your mind still foggy as you stood up. You knew what this was, some sort of sedative Finnick liked to use. It would not only knock you out but leave you someone sedated for a few hours after waking up. On shaky legs you made your way over to the window, pulling back the curtains. Outside was dark, the only light coming from the moon shinning on the ocean. You must have slept through the day.
You pulled yourself away from the window, and after becoming aware of how dry your mouth felt, you started the long journey to the kitchen. The victors house was large, but with the drugs running through your system, it felt even larger. The walk down the stairs and into the kitchen felt like it took a good hour for you to get down there.
It was exactly the same as that morning, the plate of uneaten food Finnick had left you still sat on the table and his own dishes were still in the sink. You grabbed a glass, filling it with water and gulping it down. You repeated the process, trying to get rid of the dry, sandy feeling in your throat.
After a few more glasses, you stopped for a moment to catch your breath. You looked outside, watching as the water crashed onto the beach. Like almost every other kid in district 4, you had loved the ocean and the beach, and now you felt just like you had as a child. Never allowed to go alone, being told how dangerous the water could be if you were alone, Finnick scolded you about these things the same way your mother had, like you were just an ignorant child.
You felt tears of frustration Well up in your eyes, and you truly felt like a child. You wanted to scream about how unfair it was, wanted to stomp your feat and throw things, but every time you had Finnick just laughed and watched you.
But Finnick wasn’t here. And every moment you were getting more upset, more angry, and after a moment you grabbed some random statue off the count and threw it as hard as you could.
You didn’t think about where you were throwing it, and jumped when it made a loud smashing sound, the window it had hit shattering. You froze, the kitchen in silence as you stood there, staring at the now broken window, one thought running through your head.
You had to get outside.
Despite still being shaky, you climbed onto the counter, and after a moment of struggling, you climbed out of the window. You could feel the glass cutting you in a few places, and the ground scratched your knees as you fell to the ground outside, but it didn’t matter. You were outside.
You pushed yourself to your feet, and took off running. You didn’t really have a destination in mind, but your feet led you to the beach in front of the house. You didn’t stop until the rough sand became wet and cold beneath your feet, some of it squishing up between your toes. The water splashing up against your feet as the waves came in, and you couldn’t help but smile.
“I’m free…” you whispered, taking a step further into the water. “I’m free!” You yelled, spinning in a circle as waves of excitement rolled over you. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt like this, and you couldn’t stop the laugh from escaping. You were out of that fucking house! Finally, you were free-
“Hey! What are you doing!?” A voice called out, making you stop your spinning and search for the voice. You found the source to be two peace keepers walking towards you, and you felt a new wave of relief rush over you. They would help you, get you somewhere safe.
“Please, I need your help,” you started towards them, but stoped, hands shooting up when a gun was pointed at you.
“Don’t move!”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” You stayed still as they walked up to you.
“What’s your name?” The older looking one questioned.
“Y/n l/n, please, I was taken from my home a year ago by Finnick Odair. He’s kept me locked up in his house for a year, but I escaped and I really need help-“
“Calm down ma’am.” The younger one spoke. “We’ll take you somewhere while we sort everything out.”
A few hours later you were sitting in the city building, the few cuts you had were wrapped up, and a blanket was brought to you and wrapped around your shoulders. No one had really spoken to you, but you didn’t mind. Just being in a different building than that damn house was comforting.
A little bit later two feet appeared in your vision and you looked up at the head peacekeeper. “Please come with me,” he instructed before turning to walk away. You quickly jumped up to follow him. You struggled to keep up for a few minutes before you finally spoke up.
“Where are we going?”
The peacekeeper slowly came to a stop before looking over at you. You couldn’t fully read his face, but he looked slightly conflicted.
“I’m not really supposed to tell you this, but we’re taking you to the capital.”
“The Capital? Why-“
“President Snow is concerned about what happened considering it was with a victor.” The man rushed out. “Now come on, your train will be leaving in a few minutes.”
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
The train ride, while nerve racking, was exciting. After seeing the same things day after day, the view out the train window was breathtaking. You spent almost the whole ride just sitting and watching. The only time you weren’t looking out the window you were eating the provided food.
Finnick didn’t cheep out on the food he provided at all, but what was provided on the train was beyond what you could imagine. An array of fancy food you couldn’t possibly know the names of, different meats and cheeses, soups and noodle dishes, and of course the large array of deserts. Cakes, cookies, puddings, and a sort of custard dish that you adored.
By the time you made it to the capital however, any excitement that had been rising in you had completely disappeared. You were meeting the president himself, and he was going to help you. Or you hoped he would.
The moment you stepped off of the train you were bombarded by a couple of peacekeepers who took you directly to a building where a new group of people took you. You had seen some photos of Capital citizens, but it still shocked you with how they were dressed. Over the top outfits and hair dyed colors you’d never seen before. You expected them to take you somewhere else, but instead they demanded you strip.
“What?! Why?”
“You’re meeting the president, you will look perfect.”
The next two hours were torture. The three complete strangers plucked and waxed your entire body, talking about you as though you were just an object for them to perfect. By the end of you were placed in a simple dress and your makeup and hair were done up all fancy. As you were once again led away you could hear the people who had prepared you giggling amongst themselves and you heard one say something along the lines of ‘he’ll love how she looks.’
You were led to a door and the door was opened for you. “I’m here please.” You didn’t argue and went into the room and the door was closed behind you. A small click was heard but you thought nothing of it as you walked further into the room. It looked like a large dressing room but there was also a bed on one wall.
A large vanity was set up, and glanced into it, shocked by what you said. You’d seen them adding the makeup, but you didn’t think it’d look this fancy. It looked like you were preparing for some sort of large event and your hair matched. It just confused you, why would the president, or anyone for that matter, require you to look this dressed up. And on top of that, the dress didn’t match the fanciness of the rest of you.
“Don’t you look pretty.”
You practically jumped as you quickly stood up and turned around to see Finnick coming out of a bathroom you hadn’t noticed. He was dressed in a black suit, a small white rose pinned to it. His hair was done up in the ‘perfectly messy’ look the capital loved.
Finnick started to walk forward as you took a step back, hitting the vanity. The man continued to approach you until you were trapped between him and the vanity. He reached up to brush his fingers over your cheek.
“You know, I was a little worried when I was pulled away from my duties to be told about you, but it was the best thing to happen to me.”
“I don’t understand…” you whispered.
“The president decided it would be a pefect event for the Capital darling to marry the love of his life live in front of the whole capital.”
All the color drained from your face as you realized what was happening. “No, no I don’t want to do this.”
“Too bad, what do you think is happening right now?” He motioned to the room around him. “I’m going to marry you in front of everyone and then the whole country will know that your mine, and if you know what’s good for you, you will be the perfect little wife for me.” You wanted to cry and Finnick pulled you into a hug. “Don’t cry little bird, we wouldn’t want to ruin your makeup.”
As he hugged you the door opened and a woman stepped in with a large wedding dress in toe. The woman’s appearance was as dressed up as the others you’d seen, but she had a theme. She looked to be a tiger of some kind.
“Here’s your dress.” Finnick announced as he pulled away from you. “Meet Tigeress, she’s the best designer in the country. We worked together to design your dress.”
You couldn’t deny that it was a beautiful dress. It was porcelain white with a deep neckline. The bottom of the dress had gems and seashells attached. As you studied the dress Finnick placed a small kiss to your cheek. “I’ll leave you to get ready, and I’ll see you at the end of the aisle.”
Before you new it you were in the dress, a bouquet of flowers were in your hands and you were walking down a long aisle as hundreds of eyes you didn’t know watched your every step, no idea that your life would end at the end of the walk. You were spaced out almost the entire time, mind barely comprehending what was happening to you. You did end up meeting the president at the reception of your wedding as he wished you a long and happy marriage.
“I’m sure the capital will live to watch your relationship, and family, grow.”
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artzee-bee · 1 year
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Forever my love | Adrien Agreste x reader
Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug
Requested by @oyasumimosura
Summary: friends to strangers to lovers with a no-so-happy ending
Genre: some fluff, angst
Warnings: canon typical violence (maybe tuned up a notch tho), death
A/N: my google doc for this piece is 10 pages long and it’s went through at least 4 alternate endings before getting here. I got this request months ago and have been working on it since, whenever I can. I hope this is alright because it’s been a journey...
~~~
There was no ‘first memory’ with you. Not one that would come to Adrien’s mind anyways. It felt like you had simply always been in his life. The only thing he remembered was you and your mother, entering the Agreste mansion as if it was your own, almost every Sunday. His mom would welcome both of you with wide arms and offer you tea, and biscuits, which you would snuck to Adrien’s room. Your favorite have always been the ones with strawberry jam filling.
And then you’d play for hours! Building fortresses out of chairs and pillows, racing toy cars around the room, saving plush animals from the imminent danger of Adrien’s rocketship and so on. Not a single moment spent with you felt boring! Your presence was addictive, the joy, the excitement you brought with yourself every time was something Adrien couldn’t understand at the time but now, as an adult looking back, he could easily recognise it as love.
But the world has its own way of never quite letting you be happy enough. The memory of your last playdate, as well as the day his parents told him you were moving away, were very hazy and unclear. For years he refused to revisit them, the sorrow too great for his young, immature self to know how to handle. Now, there was only one sentence he could remember you saying, clear as day. One promise that gave him more hope than he could put in words. “We’ll keep in touch”.
You exchanged letters the whole time you were away!! Of course, they could never be a substitute for the time spent together but Adrien learned to appreciate them deeply. He took his time responding to each of them and always nervously awaited your response. Years went on like that! Every summer you’d promise to visit and every time Adrien would have the displeasure of having to read, in your flawless and delicate handwriting, that your parents canceled the trip for whatever reason.
Eventually, he decided it was best to move on. In the time you had been gone many things changed: he grew up, got big in the fashion industry, started school, became the new black cat miraculous holder, made friends! His life became overwhelmingly busy and the precious memories you made together faded away without notice. He found joy in other things and in his new friends! Your letters no longer brought the excitement they once did and consequently, he always postponed replying until eventually, it all stopped.
Much to Adrien’s shock, almost exactly a year after losing contact, he saw you! He had been transformed at the time, having just finished defeating an akuma when he saw you exiting a coffee shop down the street. He couldn’t believe his eyes and had it not been for the alarming beeping of his miraculous, he probably would have stayed petrified on top of that roof much longer. Once detransformed, he tried to go looking for you but to no avail.
It wasn’t until a week later that he finally got to talk to you again. Natalie reached out to your family and arranged for you two to meet. That Friday afternoon, you had lunch at a pizza place that you didn’t recognise. He looked the same. Same innocent glimmer in his eyes and ecstatic voice. It almost weirded you out how much it seemed this boy never changed. But of course, you weren’t right. Many things have changed.
Adrien tried his best to be open and friendly. To him, it felt like no time had passed at all, but you were so quiet and shy. A subtle frown was visible on your face from the moment you arrived and you barely looked him in the eyes. The air around you felt thick with discomfort, which was extremely frustrating to Adrien. He wanted to ask what’s wrong but found it so difficult to speak his mind until, eventually, you opened up yourself.
“Why did you stop writing?” your voice didn’t betray any feeling of anger or sadness and yet, Adrien was instantly washed over with guilt
“I’m sorry. I wanted to but…”
“Was I not worth it?”
“What?” Adrien couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth, but you were just as still and cold as before
“Because, you see, when we were kids you were one of the most important people in my life. You were my best friend and I honestly thought we would never ever be apart! No one could ever break us up! And I put everything I had into not losing that, convinced that you’d do the same for me! Because your friendship was worth more to me than any number of kilometers between us!” your words fell out quickly and stung him “Was I not worth fighting for, Adrien?”
He didn’t know what to say! He wanted to tell you he was just stupid and made a grave mistake. That you were more than worth it, but the words were stuck in his throat.
You didn’t speak after that. Adrien was heartbroken but figured you were already so mad at him, it would only make it worse if he kept pestering you on.
Eventually, one night, after patrol, he saw you! It was already way after dark and you were just strolling down the street all alone. A sense of anxiety overtook him and he knew he couldn’t go home just yet
“Good evening pretty lady!” he greeted you, full of glee. “The streets can get pretty nasty this late at night, y’know? Hope you don’t mind if this street cat walks alongside you for a while.”
“Hello Chat Noir!” your voice was so smooth and warm “ I’d really love that. I was actually quite uncomfortable walking alone.” “Well then, fear not!The bravest and strongest hero in all of Paris is right here at your service! Did I also mention the most charming?” you giggled to his silliness
Adrien was ecstatic to get to talk to you again, like old times. He finally felt like he got his friend back! He didn’t even realize how big of a hole your absence had left in his life. After that night, he would accompany you everyday on your evening walks and, soon enough, you began hanging out at your house. Oftentimes he would knock on your bedroom window shortly after you got home from school and more often than not, he would spend hours at your place. You did almost everything together from playing video games to watching movies, cooking, gossiping. He would tell you all the fun stories he had with Ladybug from their patrols and would blush a little when you began laughing uncontrollably. It was just too cute.
With all this joy, still there was an ounce of pain at the idea that you didn’t know who you were really talking to. Almost every time you called him Chat, his heart would sting a little. He liked being Chat Noir. He loved it even. With you however, it just felt like one big lie he could do nothing about. He wanted you to look at him and see the boy from all those years ago. To look at him and call him by his name. To rejoice in old memories, instead of him having to pretend he hears the story for the first time. Adrien couldn’t help but feel like he was betraying you by simply being here, knowing how mad you were with his civilian self. When those thoughts got to him, he felt more alone than ever, but you almost always picked up on it
“What’s wrong?” you would ask and the sweetness of your voice ran like ice down his body. You would not be this kind if you knew
“Absolutely nothing, I am doing wonderful” he’d say through gritted teeth
“Sit down and talk to me!”
“I can’t. It’s personal” which you knew really meant “It would put my identity in danger”
So you would shut up. You’d make tea or let him have the last cookie as a sign of solidarity. To let him know you still cared. Sometimes he would ask you for hugs, which you would indulge him in. You’d wrap your arms around his shoulders and hug him tight to your chest, trying to convey all the love and care you had for him in that one gesture. Almost always, the hero would melt into your embrace as if he’d never been held before. His head would rest on your shoulder and his blonde locks tickled your neck and cheek.
Confessing to you was the biggest risk he ever took, which meant a lot considering his occupation. It happened after yet another game of cards lost by Chat. It had been what felt like his 15th loss of the night and in a futile attempt to protect his remaining dignity, he slipped
“You’re only winning cause I love you too much to let you lose!” the cocky attitude dropped instantly as he processed his choice of words. You were just looking at him, a little quizzingly, unsure if you heard him right.
“Do you mean that?”
“I do”
The brightest smile overtook your features instantly “Good. I love you too!”
It was difficult for a long time. The secret identity issue became even greater with the new level of intimacy that was expected with the start of a romantic relationship. On top of that, Adrien was pretty clueless. You were his first girlfriend, the first girl he ever fell in love with, the pressure was high. He wanted to be the best boyfriend there was! He brought you many gifts, big and small. He spent as much time with you as he could, he always told you just how much you actually meant to him. The blush on your cheeks and the witty comebacks made him melt through his seat every time and with every happy memory he made with you came the unmistakable pain of never really being completely honest with you. On one of your sleepovers, the feelings were overwhelming Chat more than he thought was possible
“What’s going on Chat?”
“Nothing darling. Just tired”
“Come on, you know you can’t fool me! You’ve been quiet all night, it’s really unlike you”
Adrien’s mind went empty when you sat on the floor in front of him, lightly running your fingers over his leather clad ones. The trust and love in your eyes was so mesmerizing. No one had ever looked at him like that and for a split second he imagined your reaction if you knew who he was. He wondered if you’d kick him out. Break up with him here and now and never want anything to do with him ever again. He imagined the anger in your voice, the betrayal. And then, he considered, briefly, a different option. A scenario in which you’d hug him tight and kiss the top of his head, and there’d be no more lies. No more secrets, no more of these impossible feelings that were tormenting him. That smile, that bliss, engulfed his mind and he felt powerless in the face of hope.
“I’m sorry” he said weakly
“For what?” and before he could think for another second, talk himself out or consider the consequences of his actions, he did the only thing he felt was logical
“Plagg, claws in”
When the green light vanished and Adrien found himself back in his normal clothes, he didn’t muster to look at your face
“Chat, what are you doing?” finally, he glanced up, only to find you curled up on the ground, with your hands over your eyes. You hadn’t seen him
“It’s ok.”
“You detransformed?”
“Yes…”
“Chat you can’t do that.”
“I want you to see me” he tried to sound confident, but it came out almost as a plea.
“What about Ladybug?”
“I’ll deal with her later. It’s ok. I swear”
“Chat…”
“Please”
Adriean reached out to pull your hands away from your face, but your eyes were still closed
“Chat?”
“Yes?”
“Before I look, I want you to know that I love you regardless of who you are. If you’re doing this because you think I can’t love you fully without knowing your identity, if you’re doing this for me, please know that this won’t change anything. I want you to be comfortable with this, ok?” Adrien blushed, feeling tears well up in his eyes
“I want to do this” he kissed your knuckles “if that’s ok with you”
Slowly, you opened your eyes and Adrien felt his heart beating out of his chest. Your face went soft and your eyes welled up with tears and you looked at eachother. You couldn’t muster a word and neither could he. He took this as you being disappointed and let go of your hand, only for you to grab it once more, much harder than before. Finally, tears came rolling down your cheeks, as you whispered a simple “I love you”
That night, neither of you could stop crying. The liberation of all secrets and all lies felt divine and finally, Adrien felt like he was 100% safe for the first time in his life.
Many things changed after that. Adrien got a serious scolding from Ladybug, since he couldn’t lie to her about what he’s done. She wasn’t as mad as he expected her to be, so in the end it was all worth it when you began showing up to the Agreste mansion to hang out. It was hard for Adrien to find time to spend with her during the day but Natalie was always so understanding of their relationship and tried her best to squeeze in an hour or two here and there for you! Now, Adrien could hold your hand and take you to his photoshoots. You facetimed more often and it finally felt like you got the relationship you were always meant to have.
~~~
Paris looked beautiful from the top of the Eiffel tower. Chat took you here many times before. It felt so romantic being up there with your best friend, the boy of your dreams! You felt so powerful looking down at all the lights and cars passing by and at the same time so protected by his tight grip around your waist. Nothing could hurt you if he was there, with or without the costume! But the arms holding you now were much slimmer and much less concerned with your safety. You knew you shouldn’t look down from the edge you were standing on but it was so hard not to. Lila was manic next to you, laughing and shouting about her imminent victory, taunting the two superheroes that were struggling to catch up.The tiny robots Lila could control with her powers had kept Ladybug and Chat Noir busy for just enough time to allow the akumatized girl to take you with her, away from the scene and up here.
“Be careful with what you do next Ladybug, otherwise the girl gets it!” the taunting manner in which she spoke felt hardly like Lila. You never found her to be a particularly pleasant person to be around but the malice with which she spoke now was so unusual!
She kicked your shin, making one of your legs drop off the edge. Had it not been for her holding onto your forearm, you would have dropped. You could see Ladybug and Chat approaching but they were so far away and it felt like they were moving so slowly. A cry ripped through your chest as you hung there, your life in the hands of this girl you couldn’t even recognise anymore.You were trying to pull yourself back on the ledge with your other foot before she kicked that one too, swinging you in the air by your arm.
“Oh oh, but you’re so far away little Bug? Whatever are you gonna do if my hand …slips?” she let go with a chuckle.
Chat couldn’t see anything around him anymore, all he saw was your helpless body falling from the sky! He screamed your name but he was still so far! Ladybug threw her yoyo, trying to form a net below you, but the speed at which you were falling was much greater than anybody expected. You fell right through the net, breaking it to pieces and hit the ground with a hard thud. Chat screamed, Ladybug was speechless, all the while Lila was laughing on her way down!
“Chat, get her! I’ll handle Lila!”
That’s all it took. Chat was looking down at your unconscious form before he knew it. You were so bloody and so limp in his arms.
“Don’t!” you whispered when he tried to pick you up
“It’s not safe for you here, I need to hide you away!” he almost screamed, too relieved to see you alive to be able to control himself
“It’s over Chat!”
“Don’t talk like that! You will be ok! I will make you ok!”
“I’m tired…”
“No, don’t do it! Focus on me, focus on my voice! Can you see me?”
“You have to protect the people…”
“You are the only one I have to protect! I’m sorry I wasn’t there to catch you, I’m sorry! Please! Please let me protect you!” tears were streaming down his face and he found himself thinking that he would sell his soul to switch places with you
“Chat, I love you” you said through your own tears
“Don’t say goodbye!”
“I’m not”
“I love you Y/N! I love you so much, please don’t leave me alone! I can still save you!” he laid his head on your chest, not believing his own words
“I’ll always love you Adrian!” you whispered in his ear, kissing his temple with the last of your powers
~~~
“You need to hurry up, Adrian needs to be at a press conference across town in one hour and we’re already behind schedule because of you!”
“Nathalie, stop that! Everyone is doing their best here.”
“This photoshoot was supposed to be over already!”
“Maybe you should go have some water while you wait, yeah?” Adrien was trying to be nice but he felt really bad about the way Nathalie was speaking to the makeup artist. He knew they were very busy and Nath was under a great deal of stress but still, he felt it wasn’t fair to the girls working hard to get him ready.
“I’m sorry about that! She’s a lovely person, it’s just the last couple of days have been really hard for her”
“Oh, it’s alright, sir. Trust me I’ve seen much worse before” the young girl replied “Plus, I would imagine that making the switch to become a full time model would bring on a lot more responsibilities on her side.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Adrien chuckled. “If you would have told me last year, when I was still in school, that my schedule would be even more packed as a graduate, I would have probably given up modeling then and there. Now I just deal with it.”
Adrien observed himself in the mirror, thinking back to his high school days. He tried to remember what he looked like, although that was very difficult. He knew his hair was much longer now, reaching just below his chin. He thought his face was a bit slimmer and many people told him he put on a healthy amount of muscle in the last couple of months, but  he was still himself, just 20.
“If you don’t mind sir, we need the first couple of buttons of your shirt undone for the next set. I will add a little contour to the collarbones and then we’re done”
Said and done, with the first few buttons open he looked even more manly than before.
“Um, I think we should take the necklace off if you don’t mind…”
Eyes shot down to his chest, where a tiny silver ring on a chain hung, barely glistening in the lights around.
“Yes, that’s alright” he said, although he never liked taking it off. There was always a worry in the back of his hand about misplacing it or something and the thought was simply unbearable, but he understood.
“That’s a very beautiful piece of jewelry”
“Thank you!” he looked down at the ring twirling it between his fingers. It was so simple, he wasn’t used to receiving compliments on it, even from the select few that got to see it. A simple golden band with a round diamond in the middle. It was so small for him, he could never get it more than halfway down his ring finger. “It belonged to somebody I cared a lot about.” He remembered how hard he worked to get your ring size, all those years ago. It was difficult to do it behind your back, since you had always been so good at reading his body language, you always knew when he was up to something. He remembered all those nights spent on the internet, looking for the perfect ring for you! He knew it needed to be simple but sometimes it was so hard to talk himself out of buying one of the big and glamorous ones. He just wanted to spoil you rotten and if he didn’t take the chance to do that when he was buying your engagement ring, then when would he? Finally, after weeks, he finally found this one and fell in love. It was perfect for you and you were gonna love it. The day it arrived was one of the most exciting times he experienced in the last decade, he could still feel his heart pumping now, at the memory.
“They can’t wear it anymore so I just keep it!” in fact, you had never even gotten the chance to try it on, but those details don’t need to be shared. Still, thinking about the incident, taking place only 2 weeks after he got the ring, hurts him to no end. He was planning the perfect engagement, a grand romantic gesture to make all your dreams come true but now he felt sorrow and regret, wishing he would have simply ran to your door the same day that package was delivered to ask you. At least then you would have known, you would have had the chance to say yes.
“I’m sure they were an incredible person” Adrien only nodded to that “Well, you’re all done, you can head to the set now”
“Thank you, I’ll just drop this off to Nathalie and go”
The pain of not having you around would never go away, Adian had accepted that as a fact! You would always be there for any anniversary or birthday, achievement or simply on lazy days when his mind would wonder. Nothing made the sting of not being able to hold your hand go away but at least the ring, your ring, would comfort him in those moments.
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hedgehog-moss · 1 year
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Here’s Baby Poldine’s second school report!
First semester of llama school consisted in just walking into the chute and spending a few minutes in there every day until she was no longer stressed about being stuck in this strange narrow place. (It was a two-week semester) (she’s a quick study)
Llama 102 involved wearing a halter while in the chute, and being given little bits of banana peel to distract her from how horrible and embarrassing wearing a halter (apparently) is. She kept rubbing her face against stuff trying to remove the stupid thing, but eventually she got used to it, and when she started hanging out in the chute with a halter on looking like a bored teenager I knew it was time to move on to Lesson 3.
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(Not sure where Pampe’s neck is going in the background. I don’t want to know)
Lesson 3 is walking into the chute, being haltered, walking out and following a human around the (closed) pen with the halter & lead rope. Which means being subjected to having your head pulled this way and that which is every bit as unpleasant as wearing a halter initially was. Pampoldine received kisses and clementine peelings every time she came to me or walked a few steps alongside me or generally did the opposite of digging in her heels and pulling on the rope.
Also, Poldine thinks cats smell nice and she always wants to sniff the top of their head when she sees one, so special thanks to Merricat for accepting to be used as live llama bait to get Poldine to start walking into the chute of her own free will :)
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(Merricat prefers the term ‘teaching assistant’)
I tried uploading a 30 second video but either tumblr or my wifi wouldn’t let me :( The gist of it was, the lesson was going well but Pampe was being a bit of a nuisance, distracting her daughter, and then Pampelune spat at her. Here are some screencaps:
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Pampe had frowny ears, maybe she was being protective of her baby, to be fair. Like, what are you doing to her, remove this halter immediately. But at some point Pampelune chased her all over the pen spitting at her and Pampe looked mortified about being told off by her mum, it was so funny. The dispute probably had to do with hay, but it’s so rare for mild-mannered Mama Pampy to spit, it really looked like she was annoyed with Pampe for disrupting her granddaughter’s lesson! (I managed to dodge the spit.)
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Lesson 4 was all the same stuff, but with a wide open pen, so Poldine could technically tear the rope from my hands and run away to the other end of her pasture. Which was something Pampérigouste did systematically when she was a child in llama school. She came to tolerate wearing a halter and walking around with me in the closed pen, but as soon as I opened the door and she saw an opportunity to escape, she’d make some kind of brusque movement to tear the rope from my hands, and bolt.
Pampe’s daughter on the other hand is a pleasure to have in class and it never occurred to her to do such a thing, so we’re now able to do the same exercises again but in a less coerced way—instead of trapping her in the chute to halter her, I now just put some hay in the pen to attract the llamas (when Merricat is busy), then walk in without closing the door and present Poldine with her halter and some kind of treat, and she’ll put her nose through the noseband to reach the treat, basically putting the halter on herself. I could never reach this stage with Pampe—I still have to resort to wily ruses to approach her without her noticing the halter; meanwhile I can be honest about my intentions with Poldine, I’m like here’s your halter and here’s your treat. You know what’s going to happen if you choose to go for the treat, and she’s like okay, fair :)
Someone doesn’t think life is fair, though.
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I have to hold Pirlouit back every time I put some hay in the pen to get Poldine in there, or he’ll go and not only eat it but also shoo everyone else out of the pen to hoard the hay. Sorry Pirou, this hay is bait and you are not the fish I’m trying to catch.
Lesson 5 will start next week and consist in haltering Poldine wherever she happens to be—I think she’s now reasonably convinced that wearing a halter is not the most horrible thing in the world (no matter what her mum says) so she won’t run if I try to halter her outside of the pen. We’ll walk around a bit every day but will keep it quick and not-annoying (and highly rewarding) (with fruit) so she continues to familiarise herself with being led by a human. Maybe she will take her education further than her mother ever did by actually reaching lesson 6 (hearing sounds that mean ‘stop’ or ‘let’s go!’ and not completely ignoring me.) We’ll see!
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No Distance Left to Run | Part 4 | S.R
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Chapter Summary - As you prepare to return to the BAU you find yourself hot water and this time Spencer might not be able to save you. As the BAU work to find you, your secrets come to light.
A/N - some canon elements of Date Night used but I mostly rewrote it.
Pairing - Spencer Reid / BAU Fem! Reader
Category - friends to lovers | mutual pining | angst with happy ending | smut minors DNI
Warnings - spoilers for 14.15 Truth or Dare and for 15.06 Date Night, abusive relationship, kidnapping, guns, hostage situations, Cat Adams, panic attacks, tears, swearing.
WC - 9.1k
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Part 4 - Dominoes
Present Day
After fifteen days off work, you were more than ready to get back to the BAU tomorrow. 
You loved the extra time you got to spend with your children but it was anything but a relaxing vacation time. 
Between meeting with lawyers in regards to your marriage and your husband who remained in jail pending trial, and trying to be super mom, you were more drained than you would be from a normal case load. 
It had been nearly three weeks since Jared’s arrest and two weeks since the hostage situation in which you’d confessed your love for your best friend. Your best friend who hadn’t once tried to contact you since Rossi’s wedding.
You’d told him you needed time apart but Spencer was stubborn and you were sure he would try to call, maybe even show up at the house, but he never did. 
You’d missed him, missed how things used to be. For the past seven months since Varnville things hadn’t been the same between you. 
They’d just started to get better, the iciness starting to thaw when you’d made your confession. Time had begun to heal the wounds you caused Spencer by falling into bed with him and you’d been amicable again, friendly even. 
Right before you’d been called out to LA where two murders had been committed in two days with similar MO’s, the case which would lead to you being held hostage, you’d been having a game of poker as a team. 
“You guys, you should have seen Reid. He shot a one hundred.” Luke spoke as he and Spencer entered the round table room. The rest of you gasped and made appreciative sounds. “Yeah, he qualified to shoot a possum.” 
“That’s like a perfect score. What, like, two hundred agents have made the wall of glory?” Matt sounded rightfully impressed.
“He hit everything, I mean at one point I thought he must have two guns.” Luke shook his head as he slid into one of the vacant chairs. 
“Maybe I did.” Spencer smiled knowingly, sitting in the space opposite you. 
You looked at him with curiosity and he simply smiled at you. 
You’d gone two days without a case which was a nice reprieve but it left you all a little on edge. You’d worked your way through a backlog of reports until Garcia suggested a round of poker with jelly beans for chips. 
Rossi was the only one not in attendance as he was helping Krystall with last minute wedding preparations. 
The game began, slowly one by one the team members folded, finally leaving only you, Spencer and Luke still in. 
You glanced at your cards before placing them back face down on the table. You cupped your pile of jelly beans you’d procured and pushed them all to the centre of the table, looking Spencer dead in the eye. 
“Do you think the lady is bluffing?” Luke looked between the two of you. 
“I know the lady is bluffing because she has a tell.” He gave you that knowing smile once more. 
“No I don’t.” You shook your head but Spencer continued to smile and pushed his own pile of candy towards the centre. 
“I’m gonna go all in.” He sat back in his chair. 
“Oh I like it.” Luke smirked. “Live by the sword, die by the sword. I call.” 
“Alright, lets see ‘em.” Tara encouraged.
Luke turned his card over and placed them on the table top. 
“Three of a kind, king high.”
“Perfectly respectable but not getting it done.” Tara shook her head. 
Spencer opened his hand, placing his cards down with a smug smile gracing his lips. 
“Pair of kings, pair of sevens. Oh I’m sorry, uh, three sevens.” His smile grew. 
“Oh, a full boat from the sassy Doctor Reid.” Tara chuckled. 
Spencer focused on you, his smile in full bloom. You felt your own tugging at your lips as you placed your own cards down for them to see. 
A four, five, six, seven and eight of spades. Spencer's face fell, his smile vanishing in an instant. 
“A straight flush, that has to hurt.” Tara chuckled. 
“I think Doctor Reid is speechless.” Matt laughed too. 
You shrugged, reaching out to collect your winnings. 
“Guess I’m a better liar than you thought.”
Spencer had continued to stare at you in disbelief until Emily announced you had a case which was taking you to LA. At that moment, high from your win, you never could have foreseen where that case would lead. 
Unpredictability was unfortunately a part of life. Thirteen years ago you never would have anticipated the nice man you met in a bar on your birthday would go on to abuse you. 
Fifteen years ago when you’d first been introduced to the dorky Doctor Spencer Reid, you had no way to know you would still harbour feelings for him all these years later. 
“Yo, pretty boy?” 
“Huh?” 
“Let’s not make the new girl feel uncomfortable on her very first day.” 
“I wasn’t…I wasn’t…” 
“Don’t mind him, he doesn’t get out much.” 
“Everyone this is our new agent Y/N Y/L/N, please can you all make her feel welcome. Not too welcome though, ok, Reid?” 
“Got it.”
He’d changed so much since then, it was only really now you realised that. When you saw someone every day it was hard to notice those little changes they went through until you took a step back and saw how big those changes really were.
You’d both gone from being in your early twenties, innocent and green to now somehow circling forty, much less naive than you had been back then. A whole lifetime had passed in those years. You’d gotten married, had two children and you and Spencer had both suffered your share of trauma. 
You and Spencer were long overdue for a painful conversation. It would make or break your relationship, it would dictate where the two of your futures were headed and if they were entwined with one another's. 
It was only a matter of time before he would ask you again, and you had to decide if you were willing to be honest with him or lie to him. 
“Y/N?” He rolled his lip between his teeth. “Truth or dare?” 
You sucked in a breath, closing your eyes for a fraction of a second before opening them and looking at him again.
“Truth.” You croaked. 
“Did you mean it?” 
Your eyes flit down to your bracelet, eyeing the inscription for a moment or two before you looked back at Spencer. There was a simple answer and a complicated one, neither of which you wanted to get into right now.
“Spencer I-”
What had you planned on saying before Adie interrupted you? You weren’t even sure of that yourself. Because you had meant it, but being in love with Spencer Reid was far too complicated for words. 
You wanted to keep those thoughts at bay, at least for one more day. You had one last day off work before you had to see Spencer again and you needed to not burden yourself with any unnecessary stress.
You dropped the kids at school before running some errands. You did the grocery shopping for the week, knowing it was likely you would be pulled in on a case once you went back and wouldn’t have time to do it otherwise. 
You’d arranged for your cousin Olivia to sit the kids while you worked, after explaining to her why Jared suddenly wasn’t around. She was more than happy to stay at the house with your children while you were off fighting crime. 
You picked up extra ice cream and a bottle of nice wine for Olivia as a thank you, dropped off your dry cleaning and drove back home where you planned to clean the house until it was time to pick your kids up from school. 
You parked on the drive and exited the car, going over to the house and opening the door before getting the bags out of the trunk so you didn’t have to try and wrestle it open with your hands full.
Heading back to your SUV, you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand to attention. You slowed your steps, honing your senses onto your surroundings. Something felt off, but you didn’t know why. But your instincts were telling you something was amiss. 
Your hand instinctively went to your firearm but of course it wasn’t there, it was tucked away in the safe in the house. 
You cautiously continued back to the car, eyes rapidly searching the street, your front yard and the front yards of your neighbours houses. You kept your footsteps soft and quiet so you could pick up on any little noise. 
You reached the SUV and popped the trunk, feeling your nerves start to fade a little. You were paranoid, that’s all it was. You tried to shake it off but you couldn’t quite let it go, the hairs on your neck refusing to go down. 
You collected up the paper bags in your arms, cradling them on one hip so you could close the trunk with the other. You turned and tried to rebalance the bags but found yourself looking down the barrel of a revolver. 
You fumbled with the bags and dropped them all on the ground, partially conscious of hearing the wine bottle smash as it hit the concrete. You swallowed, trying to focus yourself on the long dark hair of the woman pointing the gun at you. 
“What do you want?” You croaked. “I have money, I have connections. I’m an FBI Agent, you don’t want to do this.” 
“Oh, I know exactly who you are.” The woman chuckled. “Jared says hello.” 
You whimpered, taking a step back to your car but then you were taking a blow to the head from the muzzle of the gun and soon the world went dark.
Life was certainly unpredictable. 
***
When Penelope Garcia initially received the call from a friendly woman named Linda at the Hyde-Addison Elementary School, she was confused to say the least. Her confusion turned into panic when Linda informed her that two students, Adleine and Finley Haines had not been collected from school.
Linda, the school’s administrator had tried calling their mother several times when she didn’t come to pick up her kids but kept getting her voicemail. The school had been informed that Jared Haines was not reachable at present.
The school required pre-approval for anyone to collect kids from the school who weren’t the children’s legal carers. As godparents to Adie and Fin, Penelope and Spencer along with your cousin Olivia were the only people pre-approved.
Garcia had been the first person called and she’d been sitting at her desk in her bat cave when she’d received the call. The rest of the team were in the bullpen working on paperwork as they didn’t have an active case. 
Before Penelope allowed herself to spiral into fear, she called Olivia and asked if she could pick the kids up from school, trying not to say too much to alarm the young girl. Penelope needed to be at the BAU, because she knew if you hadn’t picked up the kids, there was a sinister reason for it. 
She tried to remain calm while she headed through to the bullpen, head down and focused solely on Emily Prentiss’ office. She knocked on the door but didn’t wait for an answer before she tottered inside.
“We’ve got a case?” Emily looked up from her paperwork.
“Uh, yes and no.” Garcia closed the door behind her. “I just had an interesting call from Hyde-Addison.”
Emily’s eyebrows furrowed as she turned that name over in her head a few times. 
“Adie and Fin’s school?” 
“Yes.”
Emily’s back straightened in her chair, knowing whatever Garcia was going to say wouldn’t be good.
“Should I be worried?” The raven haired Unit Chief’s heart was already pounding.
“Maybe,” Garcia nodded. “Y/N wasn’t there to collect the kids today. She would never forget to pick the kids up. I’ve called Liv, she’s going to get them. But I think something has happened to Y/N.” 
“Why didn’t they call Jared?” Emily narrowed her eyes on the blonde. 
“I…uh, it's complicated?” 
“Has something happened between them? She didn’t really give me much detail of why she needed time off.” 
“I think that’s going to be a story I can only tell once.”
Emily was out of her seat and heading to the door before Penelope even finished her sentence. She swung the door open so forcefully it caused all the agents in the bullpen to look up at her.
Garcia pushed open Rossi’s door, motioning him out. The old man got up from his desk and padded outside. 
“What’s going on?” He spoke, looking between Emily and Garcia. 
“A bad one?” JJ spoke up from her desk. 
Emily let out a shaky breath, ready to deliver the news to her waiting team and wishing things like this didn’t always fall on her shoulders. 
“Garcia received a call just now from Adeline and Finley’s school when Y/N failed to show up to collect them.” Emily spoke, trying to keep her voice measured. 
Spencer immediately shot out of his chair, glaring at Emily.
“What?” His face was drained of colour. “Why?”
“We don’t know, that’s what we need to find out.” Emily nodded sternly.
“Why did they call you?” Luke asked, directing his question to Garcia. “Where’s their dad?”
Penelope looked at Spencer, her expression pleading him to help her. She didn’t want to have to relay this story for you, not that Spencer did either. He huffed out a breath and slowly headed up the stairs to join Garcia, Emily and Rossi while they all looked at him in slight confusion.
“A few weeks ago Penelope discovered that Jared Haines had been arrested.” Spencer began, his voice cracking as he spoke. “For a domestic disturbance turned attempted murder.” 
The rest of the team gasped at his words, exchanging looks and silently asking each other if anyone knew. Penelope was on her phone, tapping at the keys.
“He was abusing her?” Emily looked at Spencer, her expression one of sorrow.
“For a long time.” He nodded sadly. “I knew he was hurting her, I tried to help her but she refused me every time. Adeline called the cops when Jared got hold of Y/N’s gun. He shot the wall, not Y/N. When DC Metro showed up, he had his hand around her throat.” 
“Jeez,” Rossi shook his head. “That poor girl.” 
“I had no idea.” JJ pouted, her eyes filling with tears.
“You think this has something to do with him?” Luke asked, his nostrils flared in anger.
“He’s still in jail, I just checked.” Garcia waved her phone. 
“What is this about then?” Tara frowned. “Do we really think something has happened to her?”
“She would never leave the kids like that. No way.” Spencer shook his head. 
“This might not be a case, there may be a reasonable explanation.” Emily didn’t look as though she believed that herself. 
“Can I go and check on her?” Spencer begged. 
“Ok.” Emily nodded. “You have your car?” 
“No,” he raked his fingers through his hair. 
“I’ll take you kid,” Rossi nodded at him. 
“I’ll try and ping her cell phone.” Garcia hurriedly started back towards the stairs, Rossi and Spencer in tow. 
“Just in case something has happened, tell Y/N’s cousin to keep the kids away from her house.” Emily instructed. 
“Aye aye boss.” Penelope spoke as she carried on walking. 
Spencer was soon over taking her, walking as fast as he could towards the elevators while Rossi struggled to keep up. 
He was blinded by his emotions and he knew it. And he also knew if anything had happened to you he would never be the same. 
***
“Why are you doing this?” You asked once you finally came to, tied to a chair in a nondescript room. 
The dark haired woman sat on an old desk, twirling her revolver in her hand. 
“I already told you, for your husband.” She clucked.
“I don’t buy it.” You shook your hazy head. “He’s too controlling to let someone else do his dirty work.” 
“But he’s in prison, so he can’t do his own dirty work.” 
“Fine, let’s pretend I believe you. How do you know my husband?” You sighed. 
“We were lovers.” She smirked dangerously at you but you simply rolled your eyes. 
“Sweetheart, we both know that’s not true. My husband is forty two years old, you can’t be more than late twenties. We’ve been together for thirteen years, so if you’re telling me you were together before I met him, that would have made you, at most, sixteen years old. I highly doubt that he would have dated a sixteen year old when he was almost thirty.” You argued. 
“Who said it was before you met him?” 
“So you’re proposing that my husband cheated on me with you?” You cocked an eyebrow at her. “Ok, let’s say that happened. Why would you be willing to do his dirty work for him? What is he offering you in return for killing me? Let me guess, with me dead he has no one to testify against him and he goes free? And then what? The two of you run off into the sunset together with two kids?” 
You saw something flicker in her eyes. 
“Something like that.” She shrugged. 
You knew what you’d seen. She hadn’t given your kids a second thought. You decided to take a leaf from Spencer’s book. When he’d faced off with Cat Adams after prison he’d tricked her by giving the wrong name of Morgan’s son, proving she didn’t know as much about him as she thought.
“You think you’re equipped to look after Sammy and Kylie?” You scoffed. 
“I can be surprisingly maternal.” She smirked at you.
That cleared that up. This was most certainly not about Jared. If she was really his lover or whatever she claimed to be, surely she would know about his kids and this woman certainly did not. 
It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. 
“Where are my kids now?” You asked. 
“How should I know? I’m not interested in them, I’m interested in you.” The woman pushed herself up from the desk suddenly and you held your breath as she came closer to you. It was then you noticed the camera set up on a table top tripod, pointing your way.
She came behind you and you flinched when she wrapped her arm around your neck, gun dangling by your chest.
“Say cheese,” the woman chirruped, seconds before a camera flash went off.
***
Upon arrival at 184 Calvert Street it was immediately clear there had been a struggle. 
Several bags of groceries were on the drive, a smashed bottle of wine, cracked eggs and a partially split box of cereal. Your car was unlocked and your front door was wide open. 
Spencer drew his weapon, as did Rossi, as they headed towards the house. Without a word, Spencer took the ground floor and Rossi the first. A few minutes later Rossi called out, “clear.” 
“Clear here too.” Spencer holstered his weapon.
Nothing in the house appeared to be out of place, it looked the same as it usually did. He moved some books aside on the bookshelf to reveal the safe hidden behind. He heard Rossi’s footsteps on the stairs as he input the code.
He popped the safe door and reached inside, locating your gun with ease. He turned and held it up to Rossi who was looking at him with a frown. 
“You know her combination?” The older man asked. 
“It’s Adie’s birthday.” Spencer shrugged. “Makes sense she wouldn’t have had her gun, she wasn’t working.”
He put the firearm back in the safe as the two of them headed back outside. 
“It looks like she opened the door before getting the groceries. She had a lot to carry and I guess she figured it was easier to open the door first.” Rossi mused.
“She gets the door open, heads back to the car and grabs the bags, but someone waits until after she’s got them and closes the trunk to strike.” Spencer added. “There’s no other signs of a struggle or a fight. She’s startled and drops the bags and then what?”
“First blush? If it were me, a gun in my face would startle me enough to drop my bags.” Rossi speculated. 
Spencer roughly rubbed his palm across his jaw, shaking his head.
“This can’t be happening, Rossi. Not after everything she’s been through.” 
“Kid, take a breath.” Rossi put his hand on Spencer’s shoulder. “What’s going on here?”
“Clearly someone has stalked her, learnt her patterns and-”
“Not what I mean.” Rossi cut him off. 
“I can’t let anything else bad happen to her, Dave. Not after I sat by for years and did nothing while her jerk husband beat her.” Spencer spat. 
“Reid, you can’t blame yourself for that.”
“Yet I do.” 
“We’re going to get to the bottom of this and we’re gonna find her.” Rossi looked determined. “And when we do, maybe the two of you will finally stop playing this exhausting little game and finally admit you’re crazy about each other.” 
Rossi strolled away towards his car and Spencer watched him go. He couldn’t help the dry chuckle that left his lips at the old man’s words.
If only you knew, Rossi. If only you knew.
***
Two Weeks Ago
“Garcia, any luck with Judge Hamilton?” Spencer leant forward in the chair, speaking into the car’s microphone while you drove. 
Judge Melissa Hamilton was one of the people who the team suspected might be their unsub, Casey Allen Pinkner’s next target. But so far Garcia hadn’t been able to get hold of her. 
“No, we’ve reached everyone else involved she won’t pick up. I’ve pinged her phone, you guys are close.” Garcia informed you both. 
“She’s gotta be his end game, he knows we’re onto him and time is limited.” You huffed, continuing down the street and keeping your eyes peeled for Melissa Hamilton’s car.
“During sentencing she wanted to throw the book at him, she said that he needed to take responsibility for his actions.” Spencer spoke.
“That would have incensed him.” You sighed.
“Oh! she just pulled over.” Garcia’s voice came through the speakers again. 
You and Spencer both glanced around the busy LA street. Up ahead Spencer noticed a car stopped, frowning he leant further forward. 
“That’s her, that’s Judge Hamilton. Turn around.” He quickly told you. 
He held on tight while you made a sharp and somewhat precarious U-turn in the middle of a busy intersection. As you closed in on the vehicle it started moving again. 
You were hot on its tail, Spencer keeping a close eye on the sedan weaving in and out of traffic. Suddenly a tanker pulled out of a side road and Hamilton’s car came to an abrupt stop before they collided.
You pulled in behind it as the doors were opening on the other vehicle. Casey Allen Pinkner slid out of the back seat and instantly fired his gun in Spencer’s direction. Spencer was quick to duck behind the open door and narrowly avoided the bullet that hit the side of the SUV. 
You drew your own weapon but didn’t return fire given the amount of people on the street. Instead the two of you hurried after where he ran off with Judge Hamilton in tow. He’d run inside a jewellery store and you both followed him in, weapons pointed in his direction. 
“Everybody out!” Spencer yelled as he entered, waving the customers towards the door. 
Pinkner aimed his gun at the ceiling and pulled the trigger, making the store clerk who he held by the shoulder scream.
“Go, get out.” You motioned to the other customers before turning to Pinkner. “FBI!” 
“Put them down.” Pinkner growled. “On the ground.” 
You and Spencer exchanged a look, lowering your gun just a little. 
“It’s ok,” Spencer whispered, lowering his also and tossing it on the floor before you followed suit.
Pinkner made the clerk close the shutters while he had Hamilton force you and Spencer to the floor and tape your wrists behind your back. She was shaking as she taped up Spencer’s arms. 
“Don’t worry, it's going to be ok.” He whispered to her. 
What ensued was the two of you sitting back and witnessing Pinkner try and force Hamiliton to play his sick game of truth or dare whilst threatening if she didn’t play, he would kill her daughter. 
His dare for Hamilton entailed her shooting Spencer. But to his credit, Spencer didn’t even flinch with the gun pointing at him.
“Casey…” You spoke up, sensing the judge’s hesitancy whilst trying to push yourself to your feet.. “Uh, if Melissa won’t play, I will. Truth or dare? That’s your game right? I’ll play.” 
“Casey, I know what it's like, to be wrongly accused, sent to prison for a crime you didn’t commit.” Spencer spoke now, obviously trying to buy you all some time. 
“Yeah right, you went to jail?” Pinkner scoffed but Spencer simply nodded. “Yeah, I’d like to see that pretty boy.” 
Meanwhile behind his back Spencer had located a shard of glass from a broken display. He had it between his fingers as he attempted to cut through his tape. It was tricky at this angle and could feel the glass cutting into his palm but he powered through. 
“Ok, agent…” Casey turned to you with the gun, trailing off when he realised he didn’t know your name. 
“Y/L/N.”
“Agent Y/L/N, truth or dare?” He spat. 
“Truth.” You sucked in a breath. 
“If I think you’re lying, or stretching the truth in the slightest, I’ll kill him.” He turned the gun on Spencer briefly before pointing it back at you. “You ever shoot anybody before?” 
“Yes I have.” You nodded. 
“You enjoy it?” Pinkner smirked at you. 
“No.”
“LIAR!” He yelled, turning the gun back to Spencer and pulling the trigger.
You screamed at the sound, your heart instantly pounding. But soon enough you realised the bullet hadn’t hit him, not quite. 
“No, no I’m not lying!” You were quick to say, tears now flooding your vision. “The people I shot, I had no choice. But I did not enjoy it, I didn’t. You asked, and I told the truth ok? So, uh, now it's my turn? That’s how this game’s played. We take turns. Truth or dare?”
You tried to keep your tears at bay but if he shot at Spencer like that again they would certainly fall. You glanced at him, he looked a little shell shocked from the ordeal, no doubt he’d heard the bullet whirring past his head. But at least he was unscathed. 
“Truth.” Casey replied and you looked back at him. 
“What’s it going to take for all of us to walk out of here alive? For this to end peacefully?” You pleaded with him. 
“I ain’t going back to prison. My turn. Truth or dare?” 
“Truth.” You clenched your jaw. 
In your peripheral vision you could see Spencer moving ever so slightly. Hopefully you were buying you both enough time for him to come up with a way out of here. 
“I want you to say something you’re afraid to say. That you’d never tell anybody and you better make it good because if it's not it's gonna be the last thing you ever say. What’s it gonna be?” Pinkner spat, proffering the gun closer to you. 
“There are only four people I trust in this world.” You swallowed. 
“Boring.” Pinkner turned and quickly fired a bullet into Judge Hamilton's leg. She screamed and fell to the floor. “Next.” 
Your heart was thumping against your chest. You knew you had to say something good and this was certainly something you didn’t want to say. 
“My, uh…my husband…he uh…he hits me. He’s abusive.” You choked as tears started streaming down your face. 
“Wrong. Come on, you can do better than that.” Pinkner scoffed. 
“Casey,” Spencer spoke now, the pain in his voice evident. 
He’d know about what Jared did to you but you’d never said it out loud in quite as many words. He hated the way he felt so powerless against what your husband had done to you. 
“Shut up!” Casey screamed at him, grabbing you by the shoulder and forcing you back to the floor. 
“Ok, ok.” You cried. 
“Last chance. Something you would never say aloud, not even to your partner here. Your deepest, darkest secret. Impress me or I kill him.” He turned the gun back on Spencer. 
You looked at your best friend through watery eyes. There was only one thing left to say. A secret you never thought you’d say out loud, especially to Spencer. 
But it would certainly be enough to get Casey’s attention and with any luck it would save your lives. 
“Come on!” Casey screamed.
You kept your eyes on Spencer, tears getting heavier. His brow furrowed at you, sensing the weight of what you were about to say. 
“Spence, uh…” you swallowed. “I have always loved you. I was too scared to say it before... and now things are just really too complicated to say it now. I'm sorry, but you should know.”
The look that washed over him could only be described as pure heart break as the world seemed to freeze around you. He’d wanted to hear those words for so many years but not here, not like this. 
For five seconds the two of you stared at each other, five gut wrenching, life altering seconds. This was going to change everything, life would never be the same again. 
***
Present Day
Upon receiving the email from the anonymous server, things started to make a little more sense. 
It didn’t make the situation any less terrifying, but it did at least point the team in the right direction.
Your phone had been found in a dumpster a few blocks from your house and hadn’t rendered anything useful. It was the email that had landed in Garcia’s inbox a few minutes after Spencer and Rossi returned from your home which was interesting. 
It was a photograph of you with your abductor's arm around your shoulder. The woman next to you wasn’t trying to obscure her face telling the team she wasn’t scared of being identified. You had dried blood on the side of your face but other than that you looked to be unscathed. 
But the most alarming part was the demand in the email. 
Release Catherine Adams in twenty four hours. 
And that was how Spencer found himself behind the glass in the little room next to the interrogation room in which Cat Adams currently occupied. 
“You sure you can do this?” JJ was at his side, much like she had been last time he’d had to face off with his nemesis. 
“I don’t have a choice, Jennifer.” He wouldn’t look at her, keeping his eyes on Cat in her bright orange jumpsuit. “She’s made it personal. Again. If I don’t go in there she’s going to have Y/N killed.” 
“I’ll be right here.” JJ tried to calm him. 
“I don’t need you to wait for me. This is something I need to do alone. Go and help the team.” He didn’t look at her as he headed for the door and violently swung it open. 
He slammed it behind him, glaring manically at Cat. 
She was relaxed back in the chair, arms folded across her chest, jumpsuit sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Her dark hair was stringy and lifeless, tied back off of her face. 
Those infectious eyes he remembered having so much spark when they played their little game in the restaurant, even after his release from prison with his hand around her throat, were dull like someone had switched a light off. 
He’d seen that look mirrored on his own eyes when he was incarcerated. Day by day prison stripped him of life, and his eyes had slowly lost their sparkle. 
She’d been inside much longer than him, he wasn’t exactly surprised to see the effects she wore. But even when she looked at him they remained dark and cold. 
He could see the resignation. She’d given up. It happened in prison, when you stopped believing there was a way out. He’d reached that point too, he’d gotten himself into solitary for his own protection, but he’d been so sure he’d die there. 
She stared at him, waiting for him to speak. If he didn’t know any better he would have been sure she didn’t have anything to do with this. She didn’t seem as though she had the energy for these kinds of games anymore. 
“Where is she?” He spat at her, not wanting to waste any time. 
“Because I’m going to make it that easy on you?” Cat scoffed, lifeless eyes rolling in her head. 
“The demand of releasing you from prison is never going to happen, so why don’t we save ourselves both some time and tell me what this is really about.” He moved closer to the metal table but didn’t sit down. 
“You haven’t heard,” her lips turned up at the corner. 
“Heard?” He cocked an eyebrow at her. 
���I stopped fighting. The state versus Catherine Adams.” She unfolded her arms, exhaled heavily. 
“You’ve grown a conscience? Unlikely.” He rolled his eyes. 
“I’m bored.” She huffed. “Death has got to be more interesting.” 
“Why am I here, Cat? And where is Y/N?” He tried to keep his voice levelled but he knew it was only a matter of time before he lost his cool. “I’m not playing your games this time, tell me where she is.” 
“You know that’s not how this works, Spencie.” She offered him a sweet smile. Her eyes were still void of emotion. 
“Tell me what you want.” He folded his arms across his chest. 
“My final request,” she sat back in her chair leisurely. “Before I’m put to death. I want to go on a date. With you.” 
Spencer felt his stomach turn violently. Of course there was always something. But she did really think she would get her own way, be released from prison so he could take her out? 
He supposed having an FBI Agent kidnapped was one way to ensure she got what she wanted. 
He unfolded his arms before kneeling in front of her. He moved close to her ear. 
“The only date I will be there for is the one where they stick a needle in your vein.” He spat before pushing himself back up. 
“I hear you have a thing for damaged women, I thought I was just your type.” She smirked wildly at him. 
His teeth ground together furiously, but he tried not to let her see he was coming unravelled. He couldn’t give anything away. She was the master of reading people, him specifically. In another life she would have made a great profiler. 
“I have no idea what you mean.” He sucked in a breath, desperate not to let her see she’d hit a nerve. 
Cat chuckled, an evil and maniacal sound that made Spencer’s stomach lurch. 
“After all this time? Always.” She quoted with a wide smile on her face. 
Spencer’s nostrils flared and he felt his heart leap into his throat. 
How did she know about that? How could she possibly know? 
The only conceivable way would be from your bracelet. The bracelet you’d handed him back at Rossi’s wedding which he’d come to discover when he got home he no longer had in his possession. 
He’d assumed it had fallen out of his pocket, even called the venue the next day but as of yet no one had found it. Even if he’d lost it, it was out of the question that she could have gotten her hands on it. 
“Did you hear me?” Cat spoke again, snapping him out of his thoughts. 
“Yes.” He nodded.
“You’re going to take me on a date or I will have her killed.” She spoke in a sickly sweet tone that made Spencer want to throw up. “I want to look pretty! I wanna have fun! And I won’t even get physical. Unless you want me to.” 
He felt dizzy out of nowhere, his vision starting to blur. The walls of the interrogation room seemed like they were getting closer. He suddenly felt as though he couldn’t breath, like a heavy weight was pressing down on his chest. 
I’m having a panic attack. 
Before he could let Cat see his devolution, he threw open the door and fled the small room. He crossed the corridor in two strides, letting himself into a disused office. 
He fought to loosen his tie which felt like it was strangling him. He managed to get it over his head and tossed it aside while trying to focus on his breathing. 
A large scream ripped through him, involuntarily erupting from his throat and he reached out and swiped a pile of books and papers off the desk in his rage. 
He collapsed to the floor soon after that, hot tears streaming down his face. He sobbed loudly, not caring if anyone was to hear him. He didn’t even care if Cat heard him, even though that was unlikely through the reinforced glass.
He’d had so many emotions pent up for so many years and it was finally all coming to surface. Cat having you kidnapped was the straw that broke the camel's back. The thin piece of thread holding him together all these years snapped. 
You’d told him you loved him and he hadn’t said it back. What if he never got to say it back? You were finally free of the clutches of your abusive husband but now you might die because of Cat’s vendetta against him. 
He’d allow himself this moment. One moment in which he crumbled. Then he would push it all down and focus everything he had on finding you. 
And if he didn’t find you? That didn’t bear thinking about it. 
***
Hours ticked by. Slow, painful hours. There was something familiar about this room but you couldn’t quite place it, couldn’t quite see the bigger picture. 
The room was small, barely larger than your en-suite bathroom at home. The walls were painted white, chipped and peeling at the corners. 
The floor was damp and dusty, clearly having gone unused for years. The table in the corner which your kidnapped sat on was more like a counter than an actual table. 
Behind the counter was a set of thick red velvet curtains which were moth eared and mouldy. You swore you could see a sliver of light behind the thick fabric but maybe that was just wishful thinking. 
A window maybe? 
There was one door, to the left of the counter but it didn’t offer any clues. 
Debris was littered on the floor, torn sheets of paper for which you couldn’t quite piece together to work out what was on them. Small brown beads of something scattered between the paper but you couldn’t ascertain what they were. 
You probably had a concussion. If the blow to the head hadn’t done it you were sure the fall to the ground after you’d been rendered unconscious had. Your brain was foggy, you knew you were missing something right in front of you but you couldn’t work out what. 
The woman didn’t speak much, she mostly sat in silence on her cell phone. None of this made sense. Surely if she’d kidnapped you she wanted something from you? But she was yet to make any demands. 
By now you were sure the team must be looking for you. When you failed to pick up the kids from school either Liv, Penelope or Spencer would have been called. By now they must realise something had happened to you. 
The profiler in you couldn’t stop trying to run through it all in your head despite how much it hurt to do so. 
If this was somehow about Jared, even though you doubted that, where would their paths have crossed? Jared liked to drink, he frequented a lot of bars in the district. She could have been a bartender that he spilled his life to over one too many beers. 
But if that were true wouldn’t she know your kids names? 
She could have gotten hold of your FBI file. It would tell her your husband's name and the fact you had two kids but not their names. But that would open up the very real and very terrifying idea she was working for someone on the inside. 
She could have simply stalked you. If she’d been following you she would know about your husband, your kids, but not necessarily their names. 
But then it just came back to the why. Why was she doing this? Who had she taken that photo for? What did she want from you? 
You swallowed, your mouth was so dry and your throat was scratchy. You wiggled a little against your binds, this whole being held hostage thing was becoming too much of a regular occurance. 
“Look, seeing as we’re going to be here a while, why don’t you tell me what this is about.” You barely recognised your own voice.
The woman’s eyes snapped away from her phone and she looked at you, regarding you curiously. She put down the device and pushed herself to her feet. 
She had a slightly crazed smile on her lips as she approached you. There was something vaguely familiar about her, like you’d seen her somewhere before. Had you noticed her watching you? Somewhere in the deep recesses of your mind did you recognise her? 
“You need to see what he’s really like.” She told you, rummaging around in her pocket. 
“Jared? I already know what he’s really like.” You scoffed, with a frown. 
“Not Jared.” She chucked, fishing something out of her pocket and holding it up in front of your eyes. 
Your poor and tired eyes took a moment to focus on the silver item dangling from her fingers. But when you did, you felt your whole world stop turning. 
***
Spencer collected himself, pushed down his emotions and washed his face so the team wouldn’t know he’d been crying. When he walked into the round table room, all eyes were on him.
“How did it go, kid?” Rossi asked.
“About as well as you would expect.” He croaked. 
“We’ve run the woman through facial recognition but so far we haven’t got anything.” Garcia told him sadly. 
“I’ve seen her before.” Spencer focused on the photograph of you and your captor on the big screen. “I know I have, I just can’t figure out where.” 
“It makes sense for her to use a partner again, but her victimology is off. Cat is a black widow, she targets abusive men who remind her of her father.” JJ spoke now. 
“Could this be about Jared? Maybe she thinks in some kind of warped way, she’s saving Y/N?” Luke frowned as he spoke. 
“She doesn’t need saving, he’s already in jail.” Emily shook her head. 
“It’s not about Jared.” Spencer heaved a sigh. “I know exactly what this is about. This is about me.” 
“Well yeah it’s always been about you. But with Cat there is always the presenting agenda and the hidden one. If she sticks to pattern this isn’t just about going on a date with Spence.” JJ shook her head. 
So she was listening, at least to part of it. 
“No, this is about me. Me and Y/N.” Spencer closed his eyes, his gut churning. 
“What do you mean?” Tara asked with a hint of confusion in her tone. 
He opened his eyes again and looked at her, trying to find some kind of solace in her soft brown eyes. This was the last thing he wanted to open about right now but it was inevitable he would have to. 
If this was really about you and him, the team needed all the facts. 
“A few weeks ago on the case in LA, the guy who liked to play truth or dare. When he held us hostage, Y/N agreed to play.” Spencer looked away from Tara, focused his vision on your image on the big screen. 
“Ok?” Rossi frowned. 
“What does that have to do with anything? I read your report.” Emily frowned too. 
“I left something out of my report. Something she said that I didn’t think was pertinent. Not to the case anyway.” 
“But you think it’s relevant now?” Matt gave him an equally confused look. 
“I think somehow, and I don’t know how, Cat found out. Or she guessed, maybe, I’m not sure. But I think it’s why she took Y/N and how I know this about me and nothing else.” Spencer raked his fingers through his hair, a similar dizziness to that he’d experienced in the interrogation room washing over him. 
He needed to get this out before he had another panic attack. 
“Are you gonna tell us what she said or do we have to drag it out of you?” Luke was the one to ask. 
“She said…” he closed his eyes, taking himself back to the jewellery store. “Spence, uh…I have always loved you. I was too scared to say it before... and now things are just really too complicated to say it now. I'm sorry, but you should know.”
He kept his eyes closed as he quoted you verbatim. He could feel all the eyes of his team members on him, watching, waiting. 
When he opened his eyes he looked straight back at your photograph. There were a couple of exchanged glances but to their credit they didn’t seem all that surprised. 
“But you said it yourself, you left that out of the report.” Emily’s brows furrowed. 
“And the security camera from the store didn’t have audio. So even if she has someone on the inside working for her again, how would she know about that?” JJ looked at him quizzically.
“I have no idea.” He shrugged. 
“Did you tell anyone about it? Anyone at all?” Tara asked now.
“No,” Spencer shook his head. 
“Then how can this be about that?” Garcia questioned him. 
“I don’t know!” He sounded exasperated. “But I’m sure that it is, I know that it is.” 
“You’re sure you didn’t tell anyone?” JJ spoke calmly. “Even if it doesn’t seem relevant. Are you sure you didn’t-”
“Shit,” he cut her off. “I did tell someone.” 
“Who?” Emily was quick to ask. 
He looked from your photograph to his Unit Chief. 
“Max. I told Max.” 
“I’ve been in love with her for so long it’s just become a part of who I am.” He confessed. “I never let myself get close to anyone on the off chance she might have one day decided she felt the same. Just before I met you we…we, uh, slept together and she just up and left while I was asleep and never mentioned it again. It told me everything I needed to know, and so I made the decision to finally move on. I opened myself up to being with someone else and there you were. 
I really like you Max, I think we could have had something really amazing. But I can’t lie to you and tell you that I’m not always going to have feelings for Y/N, because at this point I’m sure they will never go away. And that’s not fair on you.” 
“No, it's not.” She shook her head. 
“I got held hostage yesterday, Y/N and I did.” He sighed, scratching at the back of his neck. “The unsub liked to play truth or dare. He had a gun pointed at her and made her confess to a secret she would never admit outloud.” 
Max narrowed her eyes on him, despite not being a profiler she could easily read between the lines.
“She told you she has feelings for you?” 
“She did.” Spencer nodded. “I still don’t know if she meant it or not, or if she was just trying to shock the guy.”
“You think she could be a part of this?” Luke leaned forward on the table. 
“No, no way.” Spencer shook his head frantically. 
“How can you be so sure? You only dated a few months, did you really know her?” JJ sounded somewhat accusatory. 
“I knew her.” He spat at his friend. “There is no way she is part of this.”
“Ok, ok kid calm down.” Rossi held his hands up. “If Max isn’t a part of this, we have to assume this woman who’s holding Y/N hostage overheard what you said to her. Where were you when you talked to Max?” 
Spencer’s eyes snapped onto the older man, frantic and wild. His heart pounded in his chest as his blood turned to ice. 
“At your wedding.” Spencer croaked. “I told Max that at your wedding.” 
In his peripheral vision he noticed someone pass by, dressed in a caterer's uniform. He waited for them to leave before he spoke again.
His eyes quickly found the image on the screen again only this time he didn’t look at you, he looked at the woman with her arm around your neck. 
“Fuck,” Spencer choked on his breath. “She was there! She was dressed as a freaking caterer!” 
All eyes turned to the screen while the others tried to deduce if they recognised her. 
“You’re sure?” Luke was the one to ask. 
“Yes.” Spencer nodded defiantly. “I saw her throughout the day, didn’t really pay her much attention. But she was there when I was talking to Max. I saw her. I thought she walked off but it’s safe to say I wasn’t exactly focused on her. She could have just been out of view, listening while I told Max what happened.” 
“Her name is Juliette Weaver.” Penelope suddenly looked up from her laptop. “I just got over the prison visitor records. She’s visited Cat five times in the last two weeks. And before that, she was an inmate at the same correctional facility. She was released a little over a month ago.” 
“Ok, I’ll bite. If this woman was really at my wedding, watching you and listening to your conversations, I’m still not sure what Cat has to gain by kidnapping Y/N.” Rossi pulled a face. 
“She got back at me for arresting her by having me arrested.” Spencer started to pace as he let the thoughts flow. “Then we destroyed her relationship with Lindsey, exposed her affair with Wilkins, to the one person who ever loved her. We proved playing the game with me was more important than being faithful to Lindsey.” 
“So you think she wants to kill Y/N, take away the one person who loves you just like you did to her?” JJ mused. 
Spencer suddenly stopped pacing, eyes landed on JJ. 
“No,” he shook his head. “She doesn’t want her dead.” 
“So what does she want?” Matt frowned. 
“Last time she wanted to prove that we’re the same. Me and Cat. This time she wants to prove I’m like him.” 
“Him?” Garcia questioned. 
“Jared.” Spencer exhaled. “At the wedding you told me how Y/N had been found with Jared’s hand around her throat. I bet Juliette overhead that too.” 
“So?” Garcia shrugged. 
“She was found being strangled, just like when I had Cat up against the wall in the interrogation room by her throat.” Spencer clenched his jaw. 
He saw some confused eyes, the whole team had not been privy to that part of his encounter with Cat. Emily hadn’t let the others see the video footage, thinking the fewer people knew of it the better. 
“Cat wants to prove to Y/N that I am no better than her husband. She doesn’t want to kill her, it would be too easy. It would be worse for me for Y/N to live and never be able to look at me the same.” Spencer’s whole body deflated. 
“Or let you live knowing you couldn’t save her.” Luke spoke, his tone morose. 
“Either way we need to find her.” Emily turned stern. “And the best way to do that would be…”
“No,” Spencer shook his head, whining. “Please? There must be another way.” 
“If we give her what she wants she could slip up. We can profile what she says on the date. She’d be out of her comfort zone.” Emily shrugged as if there was no other way. 
Maybe there wasn’t. 
“Fucking hell,” Spencer groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fine.” 
“Alvez and Simmons, you'll go with them.” Emily instructed. “Garcia, see if you can find any more on Juliette Weaver.”
Soon the five of them, Spencer, Luke, Matt, Emily and Garcia exited the room, the others staying behind to continue pursuing other leads. As they passed by Emily’s office, the Unit Chief spoke again. 
“Reid, a word?” 
Spencer halted in his tracks, inhaling deeply before slowly following her into her office. 
She closed the door behind him, moved over to her desk which she leant back against.
“You sure you can do this?” She folded her arms across her chest. 
Spencer took a beat, thought about that question for a moment or two before he responded with a simple, “no.” 
“If there was another way…”
“I know.” He nodded stiffly. “I just need a minute to compose myself. If I have to see Cat right now I will undoubtedly kill her.” 
The gumption to his tone frightened Emily for a second. She knew he wasn’t exaggerating, he would most certainly kill her. 
“If you kill her we may never find Y/N. Just try and remember that.” Emily spoke softly, trying to calm him.
“If we don’t find her,” he clenched his jaw. “If she dies, I will murder Cat Adams with my bare hands. And rest assured I will sleep well afterwards.” 
With that he turned and forced the door open, fleeing the room before Emily could even so much as blink. 
And she knew more than ever that they had to bring you back unharmed, or she would inevitably lose two members from her team. 
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elliereject · 9 months
Text
stupid bitch .1
* you and ellie have been friends for years but you only recently discovered that the way you liked her was more than just friendly. unfortunately, she’s already in a relationship with a toxic girl who (surprise!) does not like you. as their relationship starts to sour, you’re the one ellie always goes to for comfort and you oblige until you can no longer take the heartache and pain you’re feeling which causes you to finally confess…blurring the already thin line between yours and ellie’s ‘friendship’.
* infidelity, oblivious!ellie, meanish!ellie, pining, anxious thoughts
* first fic, based on girl in reds Stupid Bitch bc wow does that song make me scream. if this gets any traction at all ill post pt 2 and a couple others I have in the works :) feedback is appreciated, pls enjoy and interact!!
*mdni
*wc - 4k
part .2 here
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You had a love hate relationship with Ellie.
Well, it was mostly love…who were you kidding, it was all love.
She’s been your best friend for years and you were so fucking glad she was apart of your life. She’d been there for you during the worst parts like when your parents didn’t speak to you for a month after you came out and the best parts like when you got accepted into your dream school.
Every great memory in your life, Ellie was there. She was someone you could rely on and who you knew would stick by you even when she saw the worst parts of you and you hoped she knew you would do the same for her. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with her. Of course, it wasn’t until she started dating her that you realized your true feelings.
“I’m telling you! She’s just—she’s perfect!” Ellie gushed, your stuffed animal being squeezed to death between her lean arms.
You forced a smile onto your face, a sour feeling thrashed in your gut. “I’m happy for you, glad you guys are hitting it off.”
“We’re more than hitting it off, we’re like, on the exact same wavelength..did you know she does her own tattoos? How fucking cool is that?”
You turned back around in the chair at your desk, trying to busy yourself with the schoolwork you were supposed to be doing and rolling your eyes at her rambling. The two had been seeing eachother for the last month and she did nothing but talk about her.
“Yeah I did know because you’ve told me a thousand fucking times..” You mumbled.
“Hm?” She asked, “Sorry, Cat just sent me the funniest meme.”
She spun your chair back around to show you the meme on a cracked screen and when you saw it you wanted to take her phone and toss it out the window.
“I sent you that like 4 weeks ago.” You laughed dryly.
“Oh, for real?” She mumbled, already pulling her phone back to continue texting Cat.
You rolled your eyes again, huffing when you picked up your phone to text Jesse. He was the only one who knew about your newly discovered crush on Ellie, other than her, you considered him your closest friend and he had comforted you when you came to his dorm, eyes filled with tears and guilt after you told him that you were in fact in love with your best friend.
im going to go fucking insane.
oh brother, what did she do this time?
she won’t stop fucking talking about her ☹️ she litrly just showed me a meme cat sent her that i SENT HER WEEKS AGO and she didn’t even remember
you know ellie tho she prob just forgor fr
jesse i Litrly cant do this anymore. I’m going to rip out my air and throw my laptop at the wall.
Rip out your air? How would that work, like a breathing machine??
Die
💪💗 sorry y/n im sure it’ll get better
😐 when?
Before you could see his response you dropped your phone in your lap when you felt Ellie tap your shoulder, “What?”
“Said I’m gonna go piss.”
“Oh, okay.”
She got up from your bed and when she left, her phone was still there.
You shouldn’t. It’s a complete and utter violation of her privacy. If she caught you, she’d probably never talk to you again…
But you knew her password, and it was right there and you were so damn curious.
Your hands moved before you could rethink and suddenly her phone was in your hand and your eyes were skimming over her messages.
You clicked on the thread with Cat and felt your heart seize when you read what she was saved as: my girl ♥️
Despite the searing pain you felt pang through you like a hot knife, you read on.
i can’t wait to cu tonight ;))
same, u can finally get started on my tattoo!
mhm 😇 can’t you come over a little esrlier? im so bored T_T
cant :( yk im hanging out with ★ rn
yeahhhh but she’d understand you’d wanna hangout w ur gf right?? she said she was happy we started dating so she can’t get upset
what the fuck?
yeah ig but irs been a while since I last saw her
plssss els :(( just wanna hold u rn
There was a little space between this message and the next, you figured it been when you and Ellie got caught up in a conversation about your mutual hate for one of your profs.
if u rlly don’t wanna see me jus say that.
yk that’s not true id love to see u rn
then COME, if she gets upset that’s not ur problem..she has to understand you can’t spend all your time with her
What the fuck was this bitch even talking about? She was the one trying to lock Ellie up. You were about to scroll down to see what Ellie had said but you heard footsteps and threw her phone back on your bed before pretending to be stuck on a practice question.
Ellie picked up her phone and you were so scared she’d notice you were on it you thought your heart was going to pop out of your chest and fall onto your desk.
“Hey..”
Dread filtered through your body. She knows, she knows and she’s going to confront you and she’s going to storm out and you’re going to lose your best friend and—
“I think I’m gonna head out, seems like you got a lot of work to do.”
You dropped your pencil and turned to look up at her, “Are you sure? I mean we could go somewhere if you want.” You didn’t want her to leave, you wanted her to stay in your dorm with you forever.
“No.” She said quickly, backing up “It’s fine, I’ll see you later.”
“Okay I’ll see you—“
She walked out your door, letting it close.
“Later.”
—★
It was a freezing December night the first time Ellie came to you, eyes ridden with tears over a fight with Cat.
Usually, it was her calling you up to have you come over and comfort her because Cat was ‘acting weird’ and ‘being mean’. But something serious must have happened for her to be here.
A few weeks had passed since that enlightening time at your dorm where she had practically flown out of your room to go see Cat. During the following weeks, the two of you had barely talked let alone seen eachother and when you did it was almost always about Cat. You understood that you were both busy with school and she was busy with her girlfriend and you didn’t know whether it was Cat or Ellie that had forced the two of you’s separation or if it was your own subconscious mind trying to protect you from getting hurt. Either way, you missed her dearly.
She was pounding hard on your door, and when you opened it she immediately rubbed her red rimmed eyes. She lived in the other dorm building and judging from her appearance you imagined she ran here as quick as she could; Snowflakes adorned her hair and eyelashes and her nose was red from the cold, she had an old green hoodie on and plaid pyjama pants. Even on the verge of tears she was still so unbelievably gorgeous.
“Ellie, it’s like 3AM..” You said groggily, you knew she had trouble sleeping but she usually texted you if she needed a distraction.
“I know just, please I need to talk to someone. And Dina’s with Jesse and Cat fucking—” She paused, sniffling.
You sighed, stepping to the side so she could come in and you could close the door that was currently blowing in cold air from the freezing hallway.
“What happened?”
“It’s Cat.”
Of fucking course. Fury engulfed you, Ellie wasn’t one to cry often or even come close to it so Cat must’ve done something pretty fucked up.
“She was being so distant and I don’t even fucking know what I did and then some fucker I don’t even know just sent me this,”
She shoved her phone in your face and the image made even more anger surge throughout you. It was blurry but you could still make out two figures, one with short black hair—Cat, and another unrecognizable. Cat had her arms locked around the mysterious girls neck and the two were not just kissing but full on frenching. You wanted to throw insults so bad but Ellie was upset and that was more important than dissing her girlfriend.
“Oh Ellie, I’m so sorry.” you said softly, pulling her in for a hug.
She sniffled and wiped her nose, “Yeah, thanks.”
“So, are you two..” you trailed off, unsure how to finish the sentence.
“I don’t know, maybe. I sent her a text about the picture and told her to call me but she hasn’t answered.” Ellie said, pulling away.
“Ellie are you serious?” You questioned, looking into her green eyes. “She fucking cheated.”
Ellie looked to the side, avoiding your scrutinizing gaze.
“There could be more to the story.”
You scoffed, “Looks pretty straightforward to me, she went to party, made out with another girl and is completely ignoring you.”
Her jade eyes scanned your face before she shook her head, “You don’t like her.”
No shit you don’t like her.
“That’s not true.” You lied.
“Yes it fucking is! at first I thought I was overthinking it but whenever I bring her up you get this…this look on your face.” She accused.
“What look? This i—“
“That look!” She cut you off, pointing a long finger in your face. “Like..like you’re about cry or blow up or something.”
“I—“ Before you could defend yourself Ellie’s phone rang, the two of immediately knowing who it was. Ellie cleared her throat and answered before the second ring even started.
“Babe?” She croaked out and you winced, both at the nickname and the pain in her voice. You couldn’t listen to this.
“I think..you should go.” You said quietly, walking toward your door to open it for her.
Her eyes flashed to your face before she nodded and walked out, phone still close to her ear.
That night as you crawled back into your bed and warm tears hit your pillow you never wanted to rip out your heart more because the love you had for her was still there, never wavering and consuming you entirely even though you knew it would never be requited.
— ★
It’d been weeks since that night and since you’d talked to Ellie. You didn’t mean for the gap to stretch this long, you decided to give her some space after your…argument? And then you had finals, and then winter break where you went back home to visit old friends and reluctantly, your parents.
You came back two days before classes started up again so you could ease back into your routine. In the last few weeks you tried your hardest to push thoughts of Ellie out of your mind but you cared for her too much to completely disregard her and bits and pieces slipped through the guards you had put up.
You layed on your dorm bed, sighing as you stared at Ellie’s Instagram.
Back together, you thought.
Over the course of Cat and Ellie’s relationship, you’d learned how to tell when they were ‘on a break’ and when they were together just from her Instagram.
When they were together, her profile picture was the two of them, Cat pressing her lips against Ellie’s cheek and Ellie with her eyes scrunched closed, a joyful look on her face. Ellie also had a highlight labled with nothing but a cat emoji as well as a few random posts of them doing more random shit.
When they were ‘on a break’; Ellie’s profile picture was the default one and she had no highlights, and a singular picture posted; her and Joel after her highschool graduation. After Ellie saw the picture of Cat at that party it’d been like that for two and a half weeks and you silently hoped it’d stay that way forever.
Now, her profile picture was the two of them looking happier than ever and you couldn’t help but feel mocked while you moped miserably in your cold dorm alone, your only comfort being the stuffed animal that you held close to your chest.
You missed her, desperately.
You couldn’t do this anymore, you had to have her in your life even if it wasn’t the way you wanted. You sat up, brushing the stray tears from your face you didn’t know had fallen. Determination coursed through you, you were going to break the silence first.
Ellie was getting back tomorrow so you arranged a plan, you’d pick up a pepperoni pizza from her favourite diner—pizza was her favourite food and you’d called her basic when she first told you, which she replied “Anybody who says they don’t like pizza or pizza is basic are trying too hard to be different, pizza is the only perfect thing in the world.” and you shoved her arm playfully telling her to just eat the freaking pizza— the memory made your heart hurt but you swallowed the feeling.
Then, you’d pick up both yours and her favourite snacks from the 7/11 near your campus along with a few sodas.
And finally, the main item of your grand scheme, stopping by the blu-ray store to pick up the first Jurassic Park, the two of you could always watch it on Netflix but she preferred having the physical thing, stating it felt more ‘authentic.’
It was going to be the perfect night, and by the end of it, it would be like the entire last month and couple weeks never happened. The two of you would be back to normal.
— ★
You’d spent the entire next day anxious about seeing Ellie again. You’d woken up early on accident and had to find things around your dorm and campus to busy yourself until it was time to get ready and grab all the items on your list.
And now here you were at— you checked your phone, 6:43 PM— pyjama clad and balancing a pizza box and your phone in one hand and two bag fulls of snacks and Jurassic Park in the other.
You placed one bag down to knock on the door and you heard shuffling before it swung open. To your distaste, the person who opened the door was not your best friend/crush/reason for breathing, but instead her girlfriend who you knew didn’t like you. Could you blame her though? You were in love with her girlfriend. Although she didn’t know that, at least…you don’t think she did.
You can’t believe you hadn’t thought about what you’d do if she was here, the pair seemed to always always always be together when they weren’t ‘on a break.’ Your eyes trailed down her form, she had on tiny plaid pyjama shorts and a thick green hood on that you recognized as Ellie’s. Jealousy plunged through you like boiling, corroding acid.
“Babe, who is it?” You heard Ellie call down from somewhere in the dorm and your stomach flipped, it’d been so long since you’ve heard her voice.
“Your friend.” She deadpanned.
“Who?” Ellie questioned, walking into view of the door frame. Her short auburn hair was out of it’s usual style and laid damp against her neck along with a towel, she was wearing thick navy sweatpants and a thin white tank top. Your eyes immediately landed on the black ink that trailed across her right forearm. She looked fucking amazing.
“★?” Her jade eyes widened, “What are you doing here?”
You held up the pizza box and movie half heartedly, “Surprise?”
She smiled and you swear to fucking god you almost dropped everything you were holding to whip out your phone and snap a picture. You’d missed her smile so much and seeing it online just wasn’t enough.
“Come in, you and Cat can catch up while I finish drying off.”
You looked at Cat, honestly forgetting she was there. Her dark eyes bored into you and you couldn’t help but notice how pretty she was with her short black hair and milky skin. Why were the pretty ones always fucking crazy?
She stepped to the side so you could walk in and put everything down on the old coffee table.
Awkward silence enveloped the space between you two before you cleared your throat, she was Ellie’s girlfriend whether you liked it or not which meant you’d being seeing a lot more of her so you had to atleast be civil.
“I like your hoodie.” You tried, giving her a weak smile.
“Thanks. It’s Ellie’s.” Maybe you imagined it, but you swore you heard a bit of a mocking emphasis on Ellie.
You sighed, taking a seat on the worn green sofa Ellie had found on Facebook market place for what she thought was ‘the deal of the century.’
“Hope you like pepperoni pizza.” You tried again.
“I’m vegetarian.”
Of course she was.
“Oh..you could pick them off?”
She scoffed, trudging off in the direction of Ellie, leaving you to sit alone. This was not going as planned, you’d wanted to spend one on one time with Ellie and discuss what the fuck had happened in the last month but it’d just be awkward when the elephant was literally in the room.
The two returned, Ellie’s hair dryer now and towel discarded. Ellie plopped down beside you and you didn’t miss the way Cat’s eye twitched.
Ellie’s eyes landed on the box of pizza, her face lighting up. “No way, I thought they were closed during the holiday’s.”
You smiled, “Guess I was lucky.”
She smiled back and your gaze met hers, your heart picked up in speed when you saw something in her warm jade eyes…something soft and—
Before you could inspect it further Cat slid past your legs to sit on the left of Ellie, separating the two of you again and almost pushing you off the couch.
Cat leaned into Ellie and you thought you saw her stiffen in the corner of your eye but when you turned to look at her she was back to normal, maybe you imagined it.
“You brought a movie?” Ellie asked, eyeing the small black rectangle on the table.
“Oh, yeah! Jurassic Park.” You leaned forward, picking it up.
“On blu-ray?” Cat snarked, “Isn’t that a little outdated.”
You looked at Ellie but she was focused on the the pizza, already downing a slice and a half.
“I think it’s fun, feels more..authentic.” You replied, noticing the small smirk that crept on to Ellie’s face.
You got up, fiddling with the small TV and DVD player like you did many times before when you and Ellie had a movie night. Finally, the movie started playing and you grabbed a bag of snacks as you eased into the beanbag instead of sitting back down on the couch.
Guess yours and Ellie’s talk could wait.
The movie droned on and Cat inevitability fell asleep on Ellie, you pulled out your phone as the scene where Donald Genarro gets eaten by a T-Rex while on the toilet started up.
You were answering snaps, liquorice hanging from your mouth when you got a text from Ellie, you looked up and saw her staring at you.
Bored?
You smiled,
We’ve seen this movie like a million times. I’m tired of watching an attorney get chomped up on the toilet. 😔
she stifled a laugh,
are u serious? 😫 that’s like the best scene.
personally, I like the end where they make it off the island.
Ofc u do 😒 always a sucker for happy endings.
You sighed, rolling your eyes playfully.
Hey can I ask u smth
ofc what’s up?
whyd you come here tonight? don’t get me wrong I’m glad u did its just. It’s been a while since I’ve heard from u and then u just like shoe up lol
shoe up? 🤨🤨
She frowned jokingly.
I’m srs.
Your fingers hovered over the letters as you thought of how to answer, you couldn’t just tell her that you’d been thinking of her aimlessly in the last month and you’d decided to push away the immense romantic feelings you had in order to at least stay friends with her now could you?
i just missed you and I thought like, why did we even stop talking in the first place, yk?
As you typed the next message you felt heat creep up your neck and your heart pick up just a tad. It wasn’t risky per say..just a little intimate.
tbh, ive been missing you the entire past couple weeks. like so fucking much 🫥
You added the emoji to soften the blow, make it seem less like you were in love with her and her absence caused a gaping hole in your life.
tbh, me too. im sorry abt that night btw. i was angry and felt betrayed and I lashed out on u even tho u were just looking out for me, and im sorry for not reaching out.
I understand and I’m sorry too. for yelling and not reaching out sooner 💗😞
I don’t forgive you.
Panic flooded your brain, was she still upset? Did she not want to be friends with you anymore? Did you wait too long to reach out? Ellie looked at your frightened face and tapped quickly, reassuring you.
Joking joking! I was gonna say i might if u come over like this more often but.. yeah 🥸
You sighed, relief washed over your body and you giggled.
u always have the worst timing.
You glanced up at her expecting to see a smile but your heart tugged at her expression, she looked..sad. The usual gleam in her jade eyes was gone and her soft lips were pulled into a solemn frown.
i know
Before you could pick apart the message a shiver jolted through your spine and goosebumps covered your neck and arms. When did it get so cold?
hey is ir kind of cold in here?
yeah the heaters busted. turns on and off 😒 i asked matinance to come take a look but yk how those mfs are.
damn..r ur blankets still in the same place?
nah i moved them a while ago they’re by the actually lemme just show u
Ellie peeled Cat off her shoulder carefully as to not wake her up and motioned for you to follow her. You got up from your seat on the beanbag and treaded quietly behind her.
She led you into her room and as she dug in the back of her closet you took in the space. It’d been too long since you’ve last been in there, you breathed in the familiar earthy-pine scent that was so inadvertently Ellie and eyed the bed you and her have had countless conversations on. Your eyes travelled to the guitar that stood against her bed frame, the wood worn from years of both her and Joel playing, she’d only played for you a couple of times and even then it was little snippets as she felt too embarrassed to play you a full song.
“Here.” Your eyes snapped back to her and the plush green blanket she held out. You were confused for a second but then you’d remembered why you came in here in the first place.
“Oh right, thanks.” You reached for the blanket but you must’ve anticipated for it to be lighter because it fell from your hand and landed with a soft thump on the floor.
She sighed playfully, reaching down to grab it, “Always a klutz, huh, bug?”
Your breath hitched at the nickname. She’d started calling you her lovebug back in elementary school to tease you since you always demanded she leave bugs and other insects alone and always opted for the piece of paper and cup method to set them free instead of her brutal method of stomp until they’re dead. The only insects she really liked were fireflies, she didn’t really have a reason..she just did.
However, she stopped calling you it when she had started dating Cat and resorted back to her regular “dude” “bro” and “man”. You forced your heart not to read too much in to her use of it, it probably just slipped out, nothing more nothing less.
She picked up the blanket and put it in your hands, placing one on top of yours to make sure you were holding it properly. And that would’ve been fine and dandy if she let go and you would’ve shuffled back to your seat on the beanbag and it would’ve been normal, and it would’ve been okay.
Only, she didn’t move her hand. She let it rest in top of yours, the heat from her body travelling to yours, igniting you in a way you don’t think was possible. You looked up to meet those familiar pools of jade, finding the same look you had seen when the two of you were on the couch; soft and wanting.
It’s funny really, you had shown up here with so much ready to say and now look at you. Completely silent, terrified that if you even breathed too loud it would shatter whatever blissful moment was going on.
But your heart battered against your chest, screaming and thrashing at you.
it’s NOW or NEVER. SAY IT, SAY IT, SAY IT!
“I like you.”
Silence. There was no echo in the room but you swore your words bounced around the walls and hung in the air.
“What?” She breathed, taking a step back.
This was wrong, you knew it was. Her girlfriend was literally less than 10 feet away and the two of you had just started talking again, but you couldn’t do it anymore. You needed to tell her, if there was even a sliver of a chance she felt the same way you were going to take it.
“I like you— more than a best friend like, and I have for a while. And I know you’re dating Cat and I get that you like her, I really do. But I can’t do this anymore, Ellie. I can’t sit and pretend I’m happy for you because I’m fucking not. Whenever I see you two together, kissing and hugging I wish it was me—fuck I wish it was me.”
“Bug,” She paused, closing her eyes briefly, “ ★..I’m dating Cat.”
“You think I don’t!—“ You paused, urging yourself to breathe and counting to ten slowly.
nine..ten.
“You think I don’t know that?” You repeated, calmer.
“★..” Ellie began but you pushed on.
“Ellie can’t you see how..how bad she is for you?”
“What?” She asked, anger lacing her voice.
“She’s hurt you time and time again, and I’m always the one who has to comfort you just for you to go back to her after a few sweet words…she doesn’t deserve you.”
“You’re not apart of my relationship you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” She spat.
You huffed, blowing out air as you tried to breathe again.
eight..nine..
“Just because you’re fucking in love with me doesn’t mean you get to come in here and act like you know a single fucking thing because you don’t.”
Fuck breathing, fuck ten.
“You stupid bitch! She doesn’t fucking care about you. Why can’t you see the one for you is me.” You yelled, then gasped at your outburst. It had taken both of you by surprise, even when you and Ellie got into the nastiest of arguments you never yelled at eachother—minus that one night a month ago. It felt good, letting out all the emotion you had harboured for so, so long.
The two of you were centimetres away, having inched closer to yell in eachothers faces but now it was quiet, except for the laboured breathing that expelled from both of you, fanning over eachothers lips.
Icy jade met the fire burning behind your eyes, the juxtaposition was so intense you thought if your heart beat any faster you’d go into cardiac arrest.
“..You’re the one for me..?” She said, a ghost of a whisper.
And It was quick, so quick you almost didn’t catch it but you did. Her eyes flitted a fraction of an inch down to your lips and fuck, it was over for both of you.
Your lips crashed into hers, her large hands found promise at the nape of your neck, pushing you closer as she slotted her mouth against yours. The blanket in your hands long forgotten as it fell back to the floor. It was heated, hungry, passionate, and desperate. Months of hate, love, frustration, and separation rolled into one long awaited meaningful kiss.
It was when her hand trailed down to your hip, pulling you flush against her body and snaking under your top to brush over your skin that ellicited a sweet noise from you and her tongue sliding across yours, that she finally pulled away, a string of saliva connecting the two of you.
“Fuck.” She breathed, her voice raspy and you bit your lip when you felt your clit pulse.
“I need to—“
“I think you—“ the two of you spoke at the same time making both of you pause.
“I need to go.” You whispered, so quiet she almost didn’t hear you.
She nodded and watched as you turned around and walked out of her room, she stayed like that, standing and barely breathing until she heard the familiar noise of her dorm door closing before she allowed herself to crumble to the floor and hang her head in her hands.
“Els?” Her head shot up, thinking you had returned but she felt guilt flood her body when her face fell in disspointment at the sight of her groggy girlfriend.
“Hey..we need to talk.” She sighed.
She really did have the worst timing.
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danwhobrowses · 1 month
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One Piece Chapter 1111 - Initial Thoughts
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The chapters are taking longer and longer to come out it seems, but One Piece finally dropped its final chapter before another 3 week hiatus.
It's a shame, but it's an understandable route, I think we all had the urge to wrap Oda in bubble wrap after Akira Toriyama's saddening death, everyone has to process it their own way.
Regardless, we have a chapter still to get through, so let's see where we're leaving things?
Spoilers for the Chapter, Support the Official Release
A colour spread of chips (or fries for you Americans) and jellyfish with the crew, Kuma, Vegapunk and Bonney, of course Bonney wants more after eating her own
Marcus Mars indeed has breached the Labosphere and Jinbe, sensing the haki, wants to get out now
Zoro's not quite content though, Lucci is beaten but not down
Scarred now at the front, Lucci still stands, angry but stumbling over to the two
With time of the essence Jinbe grabs Zoro and uses a 5,000 Brick Fist to propel them away
I'm sure Sanji stans and Anti-Zoro fans will have a field day of 'Zoro didn't beat Lucci' but guys he looks plenty beat, just because they get up again after being knocked out doesn't mean he's not beat, else we're gonna have to say that Mihawk never beat Zoro or Luffy never beat Enel
Like the moment they left he collapses back into human form
And then proceeds to shit bricks seeing Mars, asking for status on York
The loyal dog (or cat) he is he does give Mars the rundown; York is in the control room, the 5 straw hats above are seeking escape through the south when Zoro and Jinbe reconvene, 2 Vegapunks are up here, 85 CP agents and 4 Seraphim in the basement and 6 minutes before Vegapunk's message
Though, a rare show of sentiment from Rob Lucci, as he requests that Kaku - heavily injured in the control room - be recovered
Also worth noting that if Kaku's bandaged like this it likely means Chopper healed him after he was wrecked by at least S-Hawk
Mars however makes no guarantees, already planning to 'wipe out the nest'
Back to Luffy we see him reunite with the giants
Dorry and Brogy seem to think that Luffy's taking the image of the Sun God rather than actually being Nika
Warcury and Saturn are once again taken aback by the appearance of giants
Sanji has been relaying the messages, having told the giants to help Luffy with escaping
Kinda strange though because Sanji was very isolated for Little Garden, having that little coffee break chatting with Crocodile and breaking the Unluckies' necks, but sure enough
We have a map too, though Oda made sure not to mark any of the Gorosei
Dorry blows a horn, signalling that they got to Luffy, which pulls the giants into a tactical retreat
Warcury readies a retort though, blowing his own 'horn' with a yell of Conqueror's Haki
A yell so powerful it popped most of Luffy's features off his body, including his scar!
But naturally toon force means he can put it back together, he's literally holding his eye scar
'Some Government Big Shot' is so funny when you consider that Luffy literally doesn't know who the five godheads of the world government are
Warcury's got flips too, looking to attack with the horns, but the giants block each tusk with their shields
Warcury's tusks seem to have the definition of swords now, I wonder if that's linked to his powers
He asks for backstory on why the giants are loyal to him and to that we say 'read pre-Timeskip'
A double shield bash knocks the Topman to the bottom
Of all things disturbing about Saturn, seeing his mouth is probably the most disturbing
Much like Magellan, he fires pellets of poison at the trio
Luffy, resourceful and once more entering Toon Force, grabs a palm tree, eats it like a corn on a cob, and paints it into a baseball bat - complete with helmet - both adorned with Go-Mu (56) on it
Ayyyy batter batter swing batter!
Expecting the venom to just hit the Gorosei on the return, Luffy's surprised to see them explode like nukes
The opening is there to leave, but Luffy points out to Brogy that the Gorosei aren't beat, they can't die
Everyone's in a rush to get ready; Luffy, Dorry and Brogy are on the move, Sanji is still running and carrying Vegapunk's corpse, Jinbe is running and carrying Zoro's reluctant ass, everyone but Nami is pulling the Sunny back in position
But Bonney has 3 vice admirals waiting for her
Might be unwise to put yourselves between a long boat of giants and more giants though ngl
Mars finds York though, still trapped and now panicking because a monster is asking her where the room the transmission is coming from
Kizaru meanwhile is being tended to, but he claims his wounds 'run deep' - basically he's thrown in the towel
But through the flames it finally arrives, the giant mecha, unfazed by the elements, bigger than a giant, and it speaks
'Joy Boy, forgive me'
Jeez Joy Boy must have lived in an age of regrets because every time we meet something or someone from his time they have something they regret or are apologizing for; Zunesha, the Nefertari family, Joy Boy themselves, now the sleeping giant? I guess in a way it's kinda poetic, they lived in an era where their dreams couldn't come true, so they live in regret, in darkness, until the dawn rises once more.
As for the rest, I know some people will be miffed that Lucci survived, but it serves as a necessity for Mars to get where he's going, and like I said before he's practically out, even Jinbe says that the fight is already won and I doubt Jinbe would lie. When we first started this portion of the arc I was 100% expecting Luffy and co to have left the island by this chapter, but it seems more like it's the beginning of the final phase, the fights leading to escape much like Enies Lobby and Sabaody did. At the least it seems Mars is more occupied with the transmission than the Straw Hats but his priorities can change, plus he can still activate the Seraphim after them instead. V. Nusjuro - who like Ju Peter was quiet this chapter, given how they both got more shine in the previous one - is still circling the island too, which can still lead to a Sanji confrontation, but I'm more eager to see Franky hopefully get some shine against the Vice Admirals; Nine Chins et al don't seem to be the proper threat in terms of VAs though with Bluegrass and Doll hovering around, plus we did see Tosu get bonked by a giant in one hit so I'm not expecting them to go far.
Watching Luffy go full Toon Force is a joy though - pun intended - it's just delightful rubberhose creativity straight outta Tom & Jerry, even gnawing some wood into a baseball bat is classic stuff, so for me it works in comedy and nostalgia. I might die if he paints a tunnel only he and his friends can run through.
We didn't get much word on Vegapunk's transmission and we won't for quite some time now, but I would like to hope that Vegapunk's smart enough to know where the government would look first. I know there's theories that Dragon has the main signal but I feel like it'd have to exist somewhere more akin to a tree in the forest in order to piggyback off of government Den Den Mushi connectivity, if Dragon had that kinda access he probably would've used it more for intelligence. But it's not something I'm too attached towards being wrong about.
Hope Oda gets some rest and stays healthy, if there's one thing we as fans are known for it is indeed our ability to wait.
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aspoonofsugar · 1 year
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Acceptance
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This week's thoughts are gonna be quick and not as deep because I really think we need next week's ep to properly analyze this (this was basically just set up).
So, this is just a list of things I noticed...
FINAL STAGE OF GRIEF
So, we are at the final stage:
Jaune: I think I get it. This is how we got here. Why the Tree brought us here. Acceptance.
Acceptance is probably going to take 2 episodes. This one is WBYJ reaching acceptance, while the next one it will be Ruby's turn.
For those who missed my previous post, here we go one last time... (skip it if you already know the motif).
This volume is built on the motif of the 5 stages of grief: negation, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. In particular, each episode explores a stage. We got through the cycle twice, as Ruby is mostly grieving 2 people: Penny and Summer.
So, Ruby is the protagonist of the volume, so this motif mostly focuses on her.
FIRST CYCLE
Episode 1: Negation > Everyone knows something is wrong, but Weiss refuses to reveal Penny died until the very end. When Ruby discovers it, she closes off and refuses to talk about it.
Episode 2: From Negation to Bargaining > Ruby still refuses to talk with Weiss about Penny, but when they reach the auction, she is drawn to Penny's sword. She has not enough hope to pursue it (meaning she has not enough strength to really start grieving). Still, Little, aka Ruby's inner child and hope, symbolically takes the sword for her and so Ruby can start the process. She bargains the sword to meet the Red Prince. Through this, she is able to express her feelings over Penny in a way she would have never managed, either way. She grieves Penny through a fairy tale (main theme of the volume),
Episode 3: Anger > Ruby's bargain is refused by the Red Prince, so Ruby symbolically grows more and more frustrated and angry. In the end, though, neither her anger nor the Red Prince's lead anywhere and Ruby ends the episode particularly down.
Episode 4: Depression > Ruby meets the Herbalist, who forces her to face her negative feelings in the form of her younger self. Summer gets mentioned for the first time here.
Episode 5: Acceptance > The Curious Cat mentions the theme of acceptance and Ruby meets the Blacksmith/Tree for the first time. In her Tent, she finds Penny's sword again and is told nobody is really lost (they become a part of you, as we are told last volume). There, she also glimpses at Summer's weapon. Still, she is not ready to fully accept her friend and her mother's deaths.
SECOND CYCLE
Episode 5: Bargaining > Ruby bargains her emblem in exchange of the ingredient to help her friends. It is the first time in the volume Ruby mentions Summer. It is also the first time in the series, she mentions a Mother's Promise, hinting at her feelings of abandonement because Summer did not keep her promise.
Episode 6: Negation > Ruby, Jaune and Weiss all negate their feelings of grief and do not open up to each other. This is especially true for Jaune and Ruby... Jaune negates death altogether as a concept, while Ruby doesn't even see her own reflection looks like Summer.
Episode 7: Anger > The negation and repression of her own feelings leads Ruby to explode at everyone. Jaune follows through and Ruby leaves frustrated.
Episode 8: Depression > All of Ruby's negative feelings come out in the form of Neo's illusions and conquer her until she gives in and drinks the tea, in order to disappear. Interestingly, here there is no Summer, but there is Penny instead.
It is as if the first cycle is mostly about Penny, but the Depression stage introduces Summer, while the second is mostly about Summer, but the Depression stage has still Penny in there.
Finally, this week's episode leads to Acceptance... WYJ must all deal with this idea:
Jaune does it through the meeting with the Genial Gems and Weiss's words. He starts to accept his failures in Atlas and in the Ever After.
Weiss does it through helping Jaune. She affirms failures doesn't mean one is not good nor brave. She says this to Jaune, but this works for herself, as well.
Yang must do it when it comes to Ruby, with Blake's help. In her case, the point of acceptance is to accept she can't always be there and protect Ruby. She also has to trust Ruby and the person she will become.
As a whole, WBYJ all must accept Ruby as a person, with all her strong traits and flaws. As you see, the theme of acceptance is rather rich and full of different meanings. We have it in regards to grief, but also in regards to people. Accepting losses, failures and flaws in ourselves and others.
THE 4 GIFTS
This volume has the characters go through the 4 gifts:
Knowledge > Herb
Creation > Jaune/Rusted Knight
Destruction > Neo/Jabberwalker
Choice > The Blacksmith
Symbolically, it is very good Jaune's acre and Neo's acre are literally side by side, just as Creation and Destruction are meant to be. On a more general note, the Tree is really all 4 gifts:
The tree's herbs are what gives people inner knowledge of themselves. This is why Herb is The Herbalist... he probably uses herbs taken from the tree's roots. And this is why when Jaune falls into the tree, we see the same smoke there was in Herb's house:
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The tree breaks beings and restores them by giving them the Choice of what they want to become.
MACROCHOSM AND MICROCHOSM
This episode just confirms volume 9 is meant to be a microchosm of RWBY as a story...
Volume 9 > Ruby's story
The series > RWBY's story
This is also why it makes sense the final fight is really about protecting Ruby from the CC. I was thinking it might have been about saving the Ever After, but it being about Ruby specifically is just perfect. After all, RWBY saving the world and Ruby saving herself are both philosopher stones. Ruby is the philosopher stone that needs to be saved and refined this volume:
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Look! Little Red Riding Gem! (She even has the little basket <3)
This is also why narratively WBYJ have to go to the Tree... this situation can be read as a metaphor:
Ruby attempted suicide and she is now dealing with her issues with the help of a therapist (The tree). Or if you prefer, on her own because right now she can't be reached.
WBYJ's role is to wait for her and to love her unconditionally when she comes out. Accepting her, no matter what. Narratively this struggle is shown through them having to protect their friend from the CC. This is also an affirmation of the theme of trust and faith explored last volume. Do they know Ruby is going to be safe and sound? No, it is a risk. This is the point, they will keep having faith in her.
I also perfectly understand this metaphor might not work for everyone, given how it deals with a very sensitive topic btw.
The CC keeps being wonderful imo and their Neo/Cat's design has really grown on me this episode. Thematically, they are the negation of the negation: they wanna interrupt the cycle. Just like they kept eating butterflies, they wanna eat Ruby up before she can emerge from her cocoon (Herb's emerging as a butterfly really drives the metaphor home). Still, ironically, this makes them very similar to Ruby, of all people.
WHAT ARE YOU?
Curious Cat: She's still here... Yes! All my work... it's not lost! Deep down, she wants nothing more, but to return to Remnant and play hero. I just need to cut her out and she will take me there!
The Blacksmith: You could put anyone of them on... and leave Ruby Rose behind.
Both the Curious Cat and Ruby want to be someone else. They think their problems would be solved, if only they could leave their old selves behind. If only the Curious Cat could leave the Ever After. If only Ruby could put down her burden.
If the Curious Cat becomes human, they might leave the Ever After and fulfill their purpose
If Ruby becomes Summer, she could finally be enough
And yet, it's not so simple. After all, the Curious Cat becomes Neo, but they still can't leave:
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Similarly, wielding Summer's weapon might not solve Ruby's problems.
What could then?
The problem with the Curious Cat and Ruby is that their purposes would be too much for anyone.
There is no-way to know everything
There is no-way to save everyone
These goals are too wide, which forces the Curious Cat and Ruby to spread themselves too thin. They keep on going far and far away (The Ever After > Remnant, Beacon > Mistral > Haven > Atlas > The Ever After) in order to escape who they are. What they should both do is instead to go deeper:
The Curious Cat should know themselves
Ruby should save herself
Not far far away, but rather... inside.
WEISS AND JAUNE
I will be writing more about them and their foiling after the volume is over. As for now...
1 - This scene:
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They were still incredibly brave. And good.
Calls back this scene:
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Jaune: I'm sorry I... I know I am not okay. I'm... I'm not right.
Jaune tells Weiss and the others he is not right and Weiss re-assures him he is good.
2 - Weiss's whole speech:
Weiss: I think you are asking too much of yourself. We've been telling ourselves failing means we are no good. But I can guarantee even the best Huntsmen in history they've all lost. But they were still incredibly brave. And good.
Resembles this speech:
Red-Haired Woman: She understood that she had a responsibility… to try. I don't think she would regret her choice, because a Huntress would understand that there really wasn't a choice to make. And a Huntress is what she always wanted to be. Jaune: Pyrrha never got the chance to graduate… But she was a Huntress.
In both scenes, Jaune is struggling with grief and self-hate. In the first one, he has just lashed out at Oscar out of anger for Pyrrha's death. In the second one, he has just lashed out at Ruby out of anger for the paper pleasers ascending. Both times, he is doubting himself. He thinks he might not be cut to be a hero. Both times, a woman comes and reassures him. The first time, Pyrrha's mother/ghost/vision encourages him to keep going. The second time, Weiss encourages him to let go. Both scenes end with a family like re-union (team JNR and team RWBY).
Not to count both scenes have mystical symbolic leaves flying around. Someone coming back in the same way, but different (the red-haired woman/ Pyrrha's statue, the Genial Gems/the giant white construction).
Both scenes also put emphasis on the same thing. Even the best of heroes fail. Still, in the first one, there is the necessity to keep going knowing the risk of failure. In the second one, there is the necessity to accept failure. And to forgive one-self.
I would add that by paralleling these 2 scenes you get an additional symbolism when it comes to the Genial Gems:
They foreshadow Ruby coming back
They comment on Jaune's arc and integration with Pyrrha
To make it clear, Jaune is Pyrrha's Genial Gem's form:
Jaune: She should be standing here… Red-Haired Woman: She is.
Pyrrha is standing there not because her ghost is there, but because Jaune is there. He is integrating with and growing more similar to her. So, that in the end he can become a true hero, like Pyrrha. But differently from her, he will not die:
Blake: This is them, isn't it? They're back. Weiss: It's just like they said. They came back from the tree better. Yang: No flood, nor fire would ever hurt them again.
3 - Weiss's words are an inversion of this speech:
Ruby: You did the best you could for Atlas, Weiss. Weiss: But it wasn't enough! We hatched a crazy plan that put a whole kingdom at risk, and we don't even know if we saved the Relics from… Maybe… Jaune and Winter were able to get them out, despite… everything… despite us…
Weiss starts the volume thinking she and the others are no good because they failed Atlas. She also leans on Ruby to grieve. This unwillingly makes Ruby's burden heavier.
Right now, though, she is the one helping Jaune grieve and in this way she starts healing herself. She and the others lost, but it doesn't mean they are no good. They were still brave. They were still Huntsmen.
In short, Weiss here succeeds with Jaune where she failed with Ruby. She does for him what she could not do for her. And I think this is partly because of Ruby's call out:
Ruby: “No time”, right? “Gotta get home!” “Gotta help Jaune!” Gotta find someone who isn’t just going to screw everything up!
Weiss has spent this whole volume looking for someone, who can fix things. For someone who is wise and who can guide them all. It turns out that wise one was none other than Weiss herself:
Curious Cat: I am talking about you, Wise Huntress.
4 - As @hamliet explained, this scene:
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Is an inversion of this scene:
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In both scenes, an enemy takes advantage of Weiss to hurt Jaune. The first time, psychologically. The second time, physically. Both times, Weiss gets hurt, as well. The first time physically, the second time psyhcologically. The first time Weiss gets hurt indirectly because of Jaune. This time, Jaune gets hurt indirectly because of Weiss. Both times, a spear, which calls back to Pyrrha, is the weapon used to impale. Both times, there is fire involved. (And yeah, Jeanne D'arc has been set on fire)
This scene as a whole also clearly shows Jaune has not solved all his issues, as he is symbolically brought down by the 3 girls he wanted to save:
Pyrrha > Beacon > Knowledge
Weiss > Haven > Creation
Penny > Atlas > Destruction
3 gifts, which all bring him toward Choice. What he will probably asked to make next episode.
THE BLACKSMITH AS ALYX?
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Personally, I love this theory. If this is the case, then:
Alyx is the Tree, while Lewis is the Writer. This makes both of them similar to the Gods. A pair of opposite siblings that end up creating worlds. We'll see if this is true and what it means.
Alyx's purpose is then to fix everything she broke.
The Curious Cat directly mentions Jaune:
Curious Cat: Know that after talking to the tree, she had a sudden crisis of consciousness. Decided she wanted to fix everything she had broken in the Ever After. Including poor Jaune.
Personally, I think that if there is enough time (not sure, about that) it might turn out Alyx also meant the Curious Cat themselves:
Curious Cat: The same girl I followed because she promised me she would bring me back to Remnant with her. When in truth, she had no intention of taking me.
We don't know the details, but Alyx tricked them and it is possible that by telling them about Remnant, she might have made their purpose so much greater. One thing is to discover everything about the Ever After. Another thing is to discover everything about a whole new universe.
Anyway, Jaune is probably going to be remade somehow, so I wonder if the Curious Cat will ascend as well in the end. I think it would be the best outcome for them, as they need to gain a deeper kind of knowledge aka wisdom to truly be happy.
If this is the case and if the Blacksmith is indeed Alyx, then does it mean she has finished her purpose? And if that is the case, then does someone else need to take Alyx's place? If so, I have a candidate:
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Jaune: So, Neo can't go through the door. Curious Cat: No. She has no attachments to your world. Nothing to return to.
Of course, the point might be that Neo will find once again some form of attachment and will choose to go back to Remnant with them. Still, considering what has just happened and Neo's breakdown, I think it would be a little weird if this were to happen right away. I think her staying in the Ever Afer, maybe to fix what she broke and to heal herself in the process would be a more interesting outcome. She doens't even have to like stay there forever, but just until she feels strong enough to return to reality. Once her Overactive Imagination is fulfilled :P
It would also explain Neo transictioning into Alyx in the opening.
Crack theories apart, the revelation The Girl Who Fell Through The World is actually a fairy tale Lewis wrote to grieve his sister and to find closure with her never coming back is beautiful. It is a powerful metaphor of what this volume is really about. How fiction can help dealing with grief. Alyx never came home. Like Penny. Like Summer. So, Lewis wrote her story by making her a hero, a protagonist. He wrote a story, so that she would not be forgotten:
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Ruby: Not just a powerful warrior, the most powerful to ever lived. She was touched by magic, and she gave her life for thousands. She took a message of hope to the stars, and she saw the world through better eyes. (looking up) Take us to the royal birthday, and allow us to present this most precious gift.
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Like Pyrrha. Like Penny. Like Summer.
Speaking of Summer:
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WONDERFUL DESIGN! She has all 4 the colors of our heroines: black, white, yellow and red. She even combines silver (her eyes) with gold (her weapon). Really an impossible ideal to achieve symbolically ;)
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sheepiemc · 8 months
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Seven Stupid Reasons to Summon a Demon
Reason #4: need to scream about a bad book
CW: strong language (it's not anything too vulgar, MC just says fuck a lot because wrath - if this were a movie, it would be rated R for language)
Today was the perfect day to read. 
It’s been gloomy all week, today included, and you finally got a day off from work. You have this book that you’ve been meaning to finish for a few weeks now and by gosh, you intend to get through it today. 
When you first started it, you only got 20 pages in but you told yourself you just haven’t gotten to the good part yet. You’ve been trying to get to the good part all day but something else captures your attention. Like how your cat needs to be played with, or your plants need to be watered, or it’s a great day to make soup! 
Perfect soup day… 
Now you gotta make soup. 
And when your cat sits in your lap to take a nap, well, it’s not like you can get up and get your book that’s sitting on the coffee table oh-so-far away. There’s always something getting between you and this damn book. 
Next thing you know, the sun is setting (at least, you think it is; the gray clouds are so heavy you can’t really tell how low the sun is in the sky) and you haven’t made any progress. 
When your cat finally releases you to complain about not being fed yet, you are determined to at least make a bigger dent than before. Once the little prince has been fed, you settle on the couch and get to reading. 
And you read for a bit — 30 pages — before your leg falls asleep and you switch positions on the couch. Then, you keep reading — 40 pages — before the silence gets to you and you have to pick some music to fit the mood. Now, you can keep reading and you get to 50 pages — before you just end up staring out the window. 
You think you hear thunder in the distance but you can’t be sure. Not unless you sit in silence and stare out the window for 15 minutes without hearing any more thunder. Maybe it was a sound effect in the music you’re listening to. 
Your eyelids are getting kinda heavy but you slap your cheeks lightly to wake yourself up. You just gotta get to the good part! You get 10 more pages in before you feel your head lolling forward and your eyelids droop once again. You snap to attention once again and decide it’s time to take a phone break. You got as far as you did, you’ve earned it. 
After scrolling through social media for a bit, your curiosity gets the better of you and you casually Google: “when do we get to the good part” in the book you're reading. You usually try to avoid reviews of books before you read them because you don’t want other people’s opinions influencing your judgment, but this book is proving quite difficult to get through on its own. Maybe if you know something good is coming around the corner, you’ll be more interested in reading it; what you end up finding thoroughly surprises you. 
More than that, it boils your blood. 
“WHAT?” You say out loud, to no one in particular.
You’re fuming! 
“What the FUCK?”
You’re so mad, in fact, you have to let all this energy out somewhere! 
You need to vent. 
And you know exactly who you need to call in this situation. 
You march all the way back to your room, book in hand, to get that cursed book off its specific, and highly prized, spot on your bookshelf. You close your eyes and concentrate, taking in several deep breaths as you do. 
You open your eyes to a flash of green light and Satan stands before you in your room, with a look of surprise gracing his features. 
“MC, to what do I owe—” He notices your wrath bubbling just under the surface, which is unusual but not unwelcome to him, “—the pleasure?” 
You calmly replace the cursed book back on your shelf and hold the other “cursed” book up for Satan to see. “I’m tired of this stupid book!” 
“Ah,” Satan nods once and uses magic to pull up your desk chair to sit in. “Of course. Go on.” 
You let out a shout of frustration before you continue, “It just never got any better! After I gave it so many chances!” 
Satan nods in understanding. 
“The main character is just so annoying, she’s a serious NLOG. ‘Oh, I used to be like other girls, but now I’m not because I like sex and I murdered a guy once but he probably deserved it.’ Like, get in line.” 
At that, Satan chuckles but he doesn’t interrupt your train of thought. Your cat peeks his head in at the commotion and makes a beeline for Satan’s lap once he spots him. 
“And she has zero self-preservation instincts! Like she goes to confront a guy — who is definitely a vampire, by the way — ALONE, IN AN ALLEY, AFTER SHE WATCHED HIM KILL A GUY, and she has the nerve to question him about said murder?” 
“Huh, a human? Going up against a creature much more powerful than themselves? What a foolish person they must be.” 
“Hush, smart guy, I’m not done ranting.” 
Satan laughs, “Continue.” 
“On top of all that sheer stupidity, I find out that this other main character that was definitely advertised to be a vampire — he’s not even a FUCKING VAMPIRE, he only BECOMES a vampire at the very end of the book!” 
“No…” 
“YES! And it’s not because he wants to. It's to save his life! That means this fool is running around in out-of-fashion clothes and saying things like, ‘If you’ve been alive as long as I have…’ for the DRAMA of it all!” 
Satan tsks. 
“I feel like I’ve been cheated!! And there’s four other books in the series??? Why should I keep reading this garbage? Nope, I can’t do it anymore. I’m done.” 
You punctuate that last statement by throwing the book on the bed with a huff. 
Satan scritches your cat’s chin as he says, “You know what I think?” 
“What—” 
“I think you need new reading material.” He stands up from his chair and lifts your boy into his arms at the same time. The unexpected change in altitude startles the cat and he wriggles his way out of Satan’s arms and onto the floor. You both watch as he leaves the room to find a more stable napping place. 
Satan then looks at you expectantly. 
You look back at him, then at the TBR pile growing on your desk, then at the large bookcase overflowing with books already. “You know what I think…” You look back at him, “I think you’re absolutely right. Let me just get changed.” 
You shoo Satan out of your bedroom and change out of your house clothes in record time. When you emerge from your room, Satan presents his arm for you to hold. Who knew the devil would be such a gentleman? 
As you leave your apartment, you call to your cat over your shoulder, “Be good.” 
As you make your way to your favorite bookstore and café that’s a convenient walking distance from your apartment, you ask Satan, “Are you looking for some new human world reading material as well?” 
“Well, that, and it’s just nice to get out of the house once in a while.” He looks up to the sky. The heavy gray clouds are less noticeable because of how dark it is but you know they’re still there. 
You look up too, and say, “I hope it won’t rain on the one day I actually choose to leave the house.” 
Satan smirks down at you. “Now, what are the odds of that happening right now?” 
A roll of thunder sounds off in the distance and you stop dead in your tracks. Satan keeps walking but turns to face you when your arm leaves his. 
“You had to jinx it didn’t you?” 
His smile widens. “Do you think we’ll make it before it comes down?” 
You close your eyes and take a deep breath. “If I have to run, I’ll make you regret it.” 
He steps up to you just as you feel the slightest drops of rain land on your nose. “I’d like to see how you would make me do that.” 
A few more drops and you scowl venomously at him, his face only inches from yours. 
“Humans…” He chuckles and takes off running when more drops settle around you and you take off after him, laughing. 
You make it to the bookstore in one piece, albeit soaking wet. The familiar brown brick exterior is already warming you up before you’ve even set foot inside. A light tinkling of the bell in the doorway announces your presence in the shop and someone far inside friendly shouts, “Welcome!” as you cross the threshold. You pause for a moment just to take in the immaculate vibes of this place. 
The brown brick of the exterior continues in the interior. Bookshelves line the walls and tower over you, some books are up so high, you wonder how anyone is supposed to get those books off the shelf. String lights drape across the ceiling and add a moody glow to the atmosphere. At the far end of the store is the espresso bar and café, with its mismatched bar stools and dangling exposed lightbulbs. All the furniture here is lovingly worn and there are innumerable cozy corners where you can pick up a book and cuddle up with a cup of coffee. 
You take a deep breath and sigh, your mood stabilizing already. Satan takes your saturated jacket and hangs it on the coat rack by the door as you try to wring out the excess moisture in your hair. He walks further into the store — past you — and when you meet his eye, he winks. A gust of warm wind dries your clothes and hair instantaneously and your eyes widen as you look around to see if there’s anyone who might have noticed. Your panic subsides when you realize there aren’t many people here anyway and everyone who is here is too engrossed in what they’re doing to make a note of how a couple of strangers magically got dry. 
Before he can get too far from you, you tug on Satan’s arm. He turns around to look at you questioningly. 
“I just got a brilliant idea!” You meet his gaze with a wide smile. “What if we make it a game?” 
“A game?” 
“Yeah, we both go in and separate, looking for a book we think the other will enjoy. We’ll meet back up at the cafe and read our books and then we’ll determine the winner.” 
“Hmmm…” Satan holds a finger to his chin in thought. “And what does the winner win, exactly?” 
You can tell you've interested him. Now, you just have to reel him in. You mirror his thinking posture, finger-to-chin and everything. “Hmmm… Maybe whatever the winner wants, the loser will have to give to them?” 
“Oh, MC, that sounds dangerous.” You catch a glimpse of something in his eyes as he smiles — maybe it's a warning?  
You shrug nonchalantly. “I like a little danger.” 
He bares his teeth in a wide grin. “May the best demon win, then.” 
“Hey!” You shout after him as he winks and heads off into the store proper. 
Oh, it's on. 
Now, this bookstore is fairly large for being squished between two apartment buildings. It’s longer than it is wide and two stories, with most of the first floor dedicated to the café and spaces for lounging. The bookshelves on this floor house the newly published books. The second floor loft is a labyrinth of bookcases — covered wall to wall in books of all genres — with a dedicated children’s section in the back. 
You think you saw Satan head upstairs, so you try your luck with the new books first. How do you pick a book for the demon who’s read everything? Well, you can start with books that have just come out. 
You pass some new history books, but what good would that be when you are almost as old as time? New memoirs and biographies? There’s only one human life of interest to Satan and you haven’t written a book (yet). 
You pick up a cookbook. That might be interesting. He likes to cook. But you don’t think you will win with a silly list of recipes, now matter how delicious they might be. 
You look at the art books and poetry books but knowing how fast he goes through books they might only hold his attention for a short time. You need something good. You pick up a book called Books Make A Home: Elegant Ideas for Storing and Displaying Books and crack a smile. He might take this as a dig at how messy his room is. As hilarious as that might be, you don’t think you would win with that selection. 
You finally look at new fiction. A thriller or mystery is more his speed anyway. But none of the covers or descriptions catch your attention. Maybe you should throw a curveball and get a romantic comedy? You pick one up that boasts a plot about the son of Lucifer trying to stop the apocalypse with a human woman and of course, they fall in love along the way. You quickly put it back and shudder at how Satan might react if you presented him with this book for your competition. 
Time to switch tactics. Maybe you should go with a book that you have read before but haven’t shared with him yet? With no luck down stairs, you make your way to the second floor, still no sign of Satan. Good, you don't want him to see you empty handed with how long you have been here already. 
You snake your way through the aisles, waiting for a book you recognize — or anything really — to jump out at you, catch your attention, and say, “This one right here will make Satan eat his words and admit defeat!” 
You find yourself in the young adult section. It's near the back where the children's section is but it's still separated by a half-wall; an appropriate place, right between being a kid and an adult.  
Ah yes, your teen angst days. You remember them well. You think about how Satan, in a way, has been going through his “teen angst” days for longer than you’ve even been alive. You wonder if he has ever read any of these kinds of books, or if he considers himself above that kind of thing, or maybe he’s “too old” for them. 
You scan the shelves and your eye catches a title on one of the higher shelves. It's a beautiful but impractical arrangement of the shelves. They’re so tall that you would need to call a worker with a ladder to get to some. The one you spot, however, is juuust out of reach that you think you can get if you use the lower shelf as a step. You reach for it on your tippy toes but it barely brushes your fingers. You adjust again and try to reach— when a larger hand with green nail polish easily reaches for the very same book you were trying to grab. 
You quickly turn and lose your balance, forgetting you stepped up onto the shelf to reach as far as you did. You surrender to gravity’s whims, but those same well-manicured hands grab you and steady you by the waist. 
“MC-!” You end up being slightly dipped in Satan’s arms. He searches your face for any pain or discomfort but is quickly reassured when you burst out in laughter. Once he knows for certain you are alright, he steadies you back on your feet and picks up the book that started this, as it lay forgotten on the floor. He stares quizzically at the cartoon devil gracing the front cover before you snatch it from his hands and hold it behind your back. 
“You weren’t supposed to see that yet.” 
“Is that the book you chose for me?” There’s humor in his voice, he sounds almost incredulous. 
“MAYBE.” You huff. “I haven’t made a commitment yet. I was still looking when you snuck up behind me!” 
He smirks at you, not falling for your frantic deflection. “You looked like you could use a hand.” 
“I’m certain I could have figured it out on my own.” You’re indignant and you're not sure why. Maybe because he was laughing at the book? You turn your back to him and look at the book you picked again. Was it silly to give him a kid’s book? “This book meant a lot to me when I first read it. It’s about a demon from hell getting a taste of human life. I learned a lot about life and myself from reading it, actually.” 
If you were looking at Satan, you would see his face soften at the confession. He tilts his head to the side and rests his hand lightly on your shoulder. When you turn to look at him, he snakes his hand down your arm to hold your hand. 
“I’m sorry.” He takes a step closer to you and brings your hand to his lips. “If you picked it out for me, I'm sure I'll enjoy it.” 
You feel your face bloom with heat from the unexpectedly sweet gesture. He gives you a teasing smile when you still don’t say anything. 
You look down, away from his almost smug expression, and focus on his hands. They’re empty. You look back up at him. 
“Did you not find one yet?” 
His expression doesn’t falter. “I left it at the register so we could pay together. I also got a few other things that interested me from downstairs.” 
“Let’s get going then.” You grab his hand tight and pull him along. 
You make your purchases downstairs and get something from the café. As you come back with both of your orders — one latte complete with kitty foam latte art and one caramel black milk tea — you find Satan sitting on a loveseat, reading the book you got him. 
“You’ve already started??” You put the drinks down on the coffee table in front of you and nearly trip over the bag of your books to get to his side quicker.
“Careful, MC,” he grabs your arm to steady you on the couch. “How else are we going to determine who won?” 
“No fair, you got a head start! And you know I don’t read as fast as you, Sa- Stan.” You catch yourself before you say his real name. You don’t think anyone’s paying attention — or really cares — but sometimes you get funny looks from strangers when you say that name in public. Satan cringes at the “nickname”. It bothers him to no end when you use it and that always tickles you. 
“Well, MC,” he says pointedly, reaching for something in the bag of books. “That's why I chose something that was reasonable in length.” 
The book he presents you is still easily over 100 pages in length but, compared to the other books he has recommended to you, this one actually is quite reasonable. You hold the book in your hands and consider it. You don’t have anywhere else to be. And this place stays open pretty late. You shrug, plop down next to Satan, and get to reading. 
Hours pass and Satan easily gets thru the book you gave him and several others he picked up for himself. He even got up once to buy another one after he went through his whole stack. All while you’ve been engrossed in the read Satan picked out for you. 
Line after line, page after page, chapter after chapter, you devour the book like it was made for you. If you didn't know any better, you would say it was enchanted, or that Satan did some funny business to the pages to make you keep reading — without stopping — until the very end. But you do know better, and you know that this book is just that good. 
It's really late now but you don’t care. You’re loving every minute of this. 
Until you get to the end. 
You stare at those last few words at the bottom of the page. Your mind is racing. In your haste to get to the end, you skimmed and skimmed paragraph after paragraph to find those words you were desperate to see. You couldn’t believe it. That can’t be how it ends. You don't know how long you stare at those cruel letters but you definitely aren't reading them anymore. 
You frantically flip to the beginning of the chapter and read through it again. Maybe you just missed something? Maybe it will be different this time. You hardly register the tears in your eyes before they blur your vision completely and you can no longer continue reading. 
You shut the book and study the front cover through your tears. So innocuous. Who knew this damn book would break your heart so thoroughly? Your grief quickly transforms into rage, directed not at the characters, or even the author — but at the damned demon that recommended the book to you in the first place, who was thoroughly enjoying all your precious reactions while sitting calmly next to you. 
You stand up and turn to him, without lifting your head. You look at the front cover one last time before you raise the book high in the air and throw it back to Satan as hard as you can. You’re not worried about hurting him — his reflexes are so fast, you’re sure he’ll be able to catch it. Besides, there are very few materials in all three realms that can cause serious harm to a demon — a paperback is not one of them. 
Unsurprisingly, he catches it before it makes contact with his face. “Did you enjoy it?” 
You look up in time to catch that smug grin plastered across his face.
“What… the FUCK?” 
You take a step towards him, fists balled with rage at your sides. You’re getting ready to square up when he says, “We’re in public, dear. You don’t want to make a scene, do you?” 
Despite his words, you can see in his eyes that he would really love for you to make a scene. You don’t want to give him the satisfaction but he’s already eating up your barely contained wrath. His easy smile never leaves his face, as if this was just one big joke to him. 
That’s it. 
You lunge for him, hands going straight for his neck. He catches those, too, of course, but with his hands occupied, he cant stop you from slamming your knee down on the cushion between his legs. Just a warning. That wipes the grin clean off his face. In fact, he looks almost impressed. He closes his legs around your knee to keep it from moving any closer. 
“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” Even though your no match for his strength, that doesn’t stop you from trying to get him — to what end, you aren’t sure. Do you actually want to hurt him or are you trying to release your frustrations in a very unproductive manner? These are the thoughts you would be having if your mind wasn’t blank with rage. “It can’t end like that. It fucking CAN’T!”
And the object of your frustrations is loving every minute of this. You’re sure he’s humoring you when you get awfully close to reaching his neck. “Careful, darling. If you don’t calm down, I might transform and then we’ll both be in trouble.” You can see that warning from earlier in the night flash again in his eyes, like he wants to get in trouble with you. The vibrant green is almost glowing like fire. 
“How could you do that to me?!” You continue to struggle in his grasp. “How did you know how to hurt me so perfectly?” 
You start to smell sulfur before you finally slump against him, absolutely spent. The burst of rage and the time of night have finally caught up you, the smell of sulfur fading with your energy. He releases your hands and they fall uselessly to his chest. You lay your head there, too. 
“That was so fucked up.” You feel Satan’s chest rumble with a noise of agreement as he wraps his arms around you and rests his chin on the top of your head. You take a deep breath and let it out shakily, tears still flowing and staining his sweater. 
“Did you like it?” 
You let out a high-pitched, “Mmmhmmm”, not trusting your voice won’t crack if you try to speak again. Satan rubs your back. 
You take another deep breath and say, “It was so good but so… sad at the end.” He holds you tighter. 
“I know. If you don’t like how it ends, we can always write our own ending.” You lift your head from his chest and look at him. It's the same thing you suggested to him when he read that book that made him cry. You smile sadly at the memory. Looking into his eyes now, you find the hidden sadness, beneath the hot anger, beneath the cool mask that he wears. His eyes search your own. You wonder what he finds in them. 
Finally, you say, “It’s the sad that makes it good.” He nods in agreement. You wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his neck. He laughs. 
“I’m normal, I swear,” you say. “Can we just stay like this a little while longer?” 
“I wouldn’t dream of leaving for anything in all three realms.” 
And you two are at peace. 
Before the confused barista at the coffee bar comes over and says, “We’re gonna be closing in 10, so could y'all…?” 
You shoot up immediately and wipe whatever tear stains from your face that remain. “Oh my gosh, we’re so sorry!” 
You extricate yourself from Satan and pull him off the loveseat you were lounging on. You gather your things as Satan scowls at the poor barista. “It’s so late, I have to get home to my little boy.” 
Satan looks back at you and smiles, knowing exactly who you’re talking about. 
You scoot out the door, the bell above the door jingling one last time tonight, and make your way back to your apartment.
Once you are outside on the sidewalk, you slip your arm through his and say, “So, what did you think of the book I gave you?”
“It was… an interesting depiction of demons. I liked it, though it did feel a little preachy toward the end.” 
“Soooo,” Your hand finds his and you entwine your fingers together. “Who won?” 
“Well, let’s see, considering I didn’t cry and try to hurt you over how emotional I got over your book…”
“Alright, I get it, you don’t have to rub it in.” 
Satan chuckles. “Winner gets whatever they want, remember?”
“Oh, I remember.” Embarrassment floods your system and your cheeks feel warm. Why did you say that? Why did you think you would win? Hopefully, he’ll ask for something easy for you to give him.
“Don’t worry, MC.” Satan laughs again. “I got everything I wanted already.” He brings your entwined hands to his mouth and kisses your hand softly. You rest your head against his upper arm and play with his fingers with both of your hands.
“I saw you read a lot of other books in there. Any good ones?” 
He proceeds to tell you all about the other books he got today, some were “absolute drivel” and others were “not too bad, actually”. But your favorite one was when he talked about a book about storing and displaying his books that will be “quite useful at home”. 
You smiled to yourself.
You know your demons so well. 
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cinefairy · 2 years
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Y'ALLL!!! when people say that self concept is key they mean: IT. IS. THE. KEY!
here's my success story from focusing on my self concept for a week! just a single week, i am in tears!!
so before, i used to brush off self concept and think that i'll work on it/get a got sc when i get my other desires, which is all wrong. i am so thankful that i let go of the old story, i used to limit myself and wasn't even aware. self concept can easily show you all your desires in the 3d, and then some!! the realisation made my life a 1000x easier.
then i read some posts and success stories that came about all thanks to self concept and i said to myself: that can be me, it is time to stop perceiving myself as a victim/bad manifestor, and i should just start focusing on my self concept! it is time to change the story.
so i started vaunting and ranting and affirming how my self concept is amazing, through the roof, wonderful, perfect, never fails me... you get the story. i didn't even visualize, didn't go into the void, didn't script. i was vaunting in front of the mirror, looking at myself and sometimes pretending i was talking to someone. i repeated that for a week, and almost every day i got some of my desires !!!
now, onto what i manifested:
1. An adorable kitten! my parents never would have gotten me a cat, no matter how much i asked them to, so i just relaxed myself and stepped into the mindset that no matter what anyone in my reality does or says, my desires are here and nothing can stop them. on the second day of the week, my parents asked me if i wanted a cat because my grandparents' cat just gave birth to three cutest kittens.
2. Perfect vision! i am someone who has been wearing glasses my entire life, my sight was deteriorated at birth due to some complications during labor, and my optician told me some years ago that there was no chance for me to be fully recovered (i had a couple of surgeries so far, and constant check-ups, it was so nagging and uncomfortable). she also told me a month ago that i should not use my phone, but nothing can stand between me and my screen time so i just decided to manifest my bad eyesight away! and i did it, but it's weird without my glasses lmao.
3. A new friend group! my old friends were closed-minded people, i am talking unsuportive, bashing on other people, but 'kind' only to others in the friend group, full of negativity and hate. i just needed a fresh friend group, so i manifested one! one of my friends now goes to the same uni as me, we start in october and it's so exciting heheh
4. Fluent in French language! i just wanted to be fluent in a language that wasn't my first language or english, and i had been studying french in elementary school so that seemed like the best option for me.
5. Money! i manifested the amount of my scholarship to double in my bank account and for no one to bat an eye at that, and for a certain amount of money to appear in my wallet daily (yes, spawning thing is so simple with the right mindset!!!), and for my parents to be rich because they deserve it.
6. A perfect dorm room! the dorm rooms my sister had been living in were just not it, so i needed to take thing in my own hands and manifest a two-bed bedroom with it's own bathroom (no communal bathrooms for me pls) in a dorm not far away from college which i share with another friend.
7. Desired body! my figure now is slim, i have 6-line abs odbwkdbajwhj i could only dream of that a month ago, everything on this list makes me so happy!! i went shopping with my mom yesterday and every pair of heans i tried actually fit me which is a big deal for me lol
8. Lenient parents! as i mentioned, my parents were not the ones to let me get a pet, and they also were very strict with my school grades in the past, and with my going out and hanging out with friends. but now, i have a great relationship with them, they are relaxed and they don't forbid me from doing anything (i literally am going on a staycation with a friend this weekend).
9. New clothes! yesterday during shopping, i found so many amazing sweatshirts, even one that is croptopped which i never used to wear, but got the courage to because who else would wear it if not a bad bitch?? i got a denim jacket, some jeans, sneakers... all i need at a discount!!
self concept makes life easy!! asf!! just stay focused on your new reality and there is nothing you can't get! have fun manifesting, and thank you cinefairy for opening my eyes <333
LETS GOOOOO THIS IS SO AMAZING ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ SO PROUD OF YOU ANON WOOW. all these achievements just from affirming how amazing you are.
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lemon-koii · 8 months
Text
❛ ،其 ::Twisted wonderland family hcs
My headcanons and thoughts on what the twst cast's family is like
●°●°●°●
Pt 2(Savanahclaw), Pt 3(Octavinelle & Scarabia), Pt 4(Pomefiore & Ignihyde), Pt 5(Diasomnia)
𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒚𝒖𝒍
𝑅𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑙𝑒 𝑅𝑜𝑠𝑒ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠
His parents are divorced sa thats why they dont get along well. His mother got full custody of him while his dad only got 2 hour visits every saturday
He has an little sister named who is a year younger than him. He doesnt know that he has a younger sister since his parents never told him and they got divorced after his sister was born a few months. Plus she lives with their father. She doesnt know about it too
His mother had him when she was 25 years old and his father was 27 years old
When he was a child he had mixed feelings about his father visiting him every once a week. His father is a "good" man. He's much more calm, less controlling and always have a pleasant smile on his face. But whenever he visits, it doesnt go Riddle's way of spending time with his father but, his mother and father arguing and screaming for 2 hours straight. Sometimes, his father only stays for 45 minutes or an hour
Now that his older, there's still a tiny hope in him to talk to his father. But he's scared since he was never close to him and if he tells his mother about the call
He once saw a picture of a baby with pure white hair in his mothers drawer and she got really mad and screamed at him so he never bought up the topic ever again. Although, he still wonders about it
𝑇𝑟𝑒𝑦 𝐶𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟
He has 3 younger brothers a 1 younger sister. The first 2 are twins who are 4 years younger than him, the 3rd brother is 5 years younger and his sister is 7 years younger
Trey and his sister are the only ones in the family with magic. He got his UM at 12 years old and his sister got hers at 10 years old
His parents got married when they were 20 and meet eachother in their teens. Had Trey at the age of 28
His father is quite a care free and easy going but strict when needed type of dad.
After when Riddles mom went to their bakery shop to confront the parents, Trey's dad didnt got mad at him but told him to always stay in line and never stand out so that no trouble would get in his way again
The bakery have been past down frim the mothers side from Trey's great-grandmother, reasoning its popularity
The last name "Clover" came from his mother since she never changed her last name when she got married since she wanted to keep her family name
In general, the Clovers are a pretty normal family(except for Trey im sorry) so there not much to say about them
𝐶𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝐷𝑖𝑎𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑑
(We already know that he has two sisters and his father is a banker. As far as i know, he hasn't mentioned anything about his mother)
His mother used to be a model before she gave birth to his older sister. Now that she's jobless and finacially dependant on her husband. Which is spending them on clothes, products, alcohols, make up, designers and other things
Both his sisters go to a rich ass private school(NRC is better than theirs) that focuses more on sports
His sisters are slightly jealous that Cater has magic. Although they never really did anything about it except dumping their chores on him and telling him to use his UM to complete it all
His sisters always calls him, asking him how school is then proceds to ask about Vil. So does his mother
His father is a cold, patient, no-nonsence and well mannered type of person, although he's rarely home. If he is, he's either working on his office or sleeping. So Cater rarely spends time with him
There are 6 animals in their household since each of them have their own pets
Cater has 2 ferrets, named Cizy and Yena
His mother has a pomeranian, both his sisters have a British shorthair cat and his fathers has a Gecko
𝐷𝑒𝑢𝑐𝑒 𝑆𝑝𝑎𝑑𝑒
Since he was raised by his mom alone, im taking it that she gave birth to him when she was 18 years old from a night with her boyfriend(Deuces dad)
Both his parents used to be in gangs. His father was well respected and known in the delinquent community while his mother wasnt that much known but was still respected
They quited when they found out that they will be having a child(Deuce)
His father died before Deuce was born due to old delinquent enemies wanting revenge as they thought that he had gotten weak from his new domestic life
His fathers death affected his mother so much that Deuce's grandmother was the one who took care of Deuce when he was only 4 months old
Even after this, his mom stayed strong for Deuce and doesnt want gim to follow her's or his fathers footsteps. Which failed(ifykyk)
His mom was always busy when he was a child to provide for the both of them, so she would always hire a babysitter and occationaly, call Deuce's grandmother. Even so, she would still try as much as she can to spend time with him
But due to Duece growing up not being always spending time with his moma and his absent father, it led him to his delinquent life
𝐴𝑐𝑒 𝑇𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑙𝑎
His family is suprisingly normal???
His mom is an accountant and his dad is a sea-man
While his brother is a profecional basketball player
His brother is 21 years old
Him and his brother are half siblings since his mother already had his older brother before she remarried and then Ace was born
Even if their only half related, they still treat eachother like real brother. His older bro would beat up anyone commenting anything bad about their family
His mom is a Filipina and his dad is british so Ace his half and while his brother is full Filipino
His mom is a loving and up to date with trends type of mom while his dad is...moody.
As much as Ace loves his dad, he cant help but feel his guard up whenever he's in the same room as him.
Ace doesnt like if to much good things happen to much since i gets his hopes up of having a good day but he knows that sooner or later that day that something bad will happen
Like, when he was joking and talking about basketball with his father. At first it was light hearted and jokes, then it turned to him getting lectured. Them as a family having a movie night turning into a silent fight between his parents.
Empty promises and him remembering peoples footsteps
Ace has trust issues due to this but doesnt show it. And he's good at acting about it too since no one ever noticed this
Ace and his cousins from his moms side get along really well unlike with his cousins from his dads side
He had a jejemon phase because of his brother and cousins. He would fake puke every time they mention anything about it
His mother was 27 when she met Ace's father who was 29 and his brother was 2 years old
Lived in the Philippines until he was 9 years old and they moved to the queendom of roses
●°●°●°●
Apologies if there are any typos since english isnt my first language
(▪︎Pretend that Philippines is an existing country in Twst)
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whorangi1104 · 2 months
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Ghoap AU: Frozen Hearts and Electric Souls
Chapter 5: Tea
(I didn’t update last week so y’all can have this a day early)
“Mactavish.”
Shite. Soap’s face burned as he turned around and saw his lieutenant looming over him, probably the very last person he’d like to find searching their room, and a crash came from under the bed where he was looking.
“Uh, how ye doing, LT?”
“The fuck are you doing in my room?”
“Well, Cheeto ran out and went through yer cat flap, and-” *Another crash came from under the bed.
“I see. Can you not get him out?”
“He’s really far in there, and I can’t reach him.”
Soap watched as Ghost sighed and lay down on the ground, reaching under the bed and gently pulling out the reluctant prowler and handed him to Soap. looks like long arms really help in this situation. 
“Thanks, Simon.”
“Don’t call me that, sergeant.”
“Sorry sir.”
“Anything else you need, or are you done invading my room?”
“I’m finished here, sir.”
“Then you may go.”
Soap left his lieutenant's room, to see Gaz leaning against the wall a few feet away with a harpy eagle on his shoulder, grinning at him.
“You went into the lieutenant’s room, and you came out perfectly fine. Told you he’d warm up to ya.”
Soap snorted, “he paid me a visit and threatened me for lying, that’s called being warmed up to?”
“Don’t sweat it, he investigates all the recruits he has to interact with, it’s normal procedure for him by now.”
“Great, it’s real comforting that he’s got all our files memorized.”
Gaz snickers, “Well, I actually came for you to meet my prowler, Zephyr. She’s a harpy eagle.”
“Does she ever fly off?”
“Rarely, and usually only for a good reason, so she hangs around with me most of the time.”
“Does she get along with… felines?”
“Some of ‘em. Just hope for the best.”
“Yeah, my cheetah prowler is Cheeto.”
Gaz looks down at the cheetah in Soap's arms, and raises an eyebrow with a smirk, “A tiny Cheeto Puff you’ve got there, I see.”
Soap chuckles, “Maybe I should make that his last name.”
“Yeah maybe you should.”
Ghost checked his emails and found one with specifications on the next mission in Mexico. They were going to enlist the help of a local team along with Shadow Company, since there had supposedly been over 65 attacks by the ‘Apollyon prowlers’ as they were being called. The surprising thing was, even with so many attacks, there was little information. Appearance: blurred darkness. Speed: unknown. Size: changeable. Destruction power: limits unknown. Type: | Shadow / Mythical / Soul / Mind / Absorption / Control / Matter / Multiply / Illusion / Mystery / Shifting / Possibly More | Ghost had never seen a singular prowler with so many assets, the most basic prowlers had one, as with 78% of all prowlers, while only 13% of prowlers had 2-3, and 8.9% 4-5, and 0.1% with more. This was unheard of, even with the ability to add assets on a prowler through a difficult and long process which often took over half a century. Victims of the Apollyons were found either dead yet perfectly untouched, living as a shell of themselves, or vanished completely. No blood was ever found at the sites, the only trace left behind by the Apollyons were the cold air that they were surrounded by. Ghost considered this information, unable to connect it to any sort of leads to why they had suddenly appeared, or how the hell they were even supposed to dispose of them. What they might need was a light gifted to combat the shadow, but light only shines so far, and he didn’t know any such people anyways. His thoughts wandered to Johnny, electricity and light were similar enough, and electric bursts were more powerful than light. The fuck Shadow Company was gonna do he didn’t know, but Johnny was something, and maybe the Mexican forces could be enough. He pondered for hours before seeing that it was 1650, and went to the kitchen to make tea, where he coincidentally saw Roach, their animal gifted, also preparing his own cup with his lion prowler, Simba.
Ghost grabbed his cup from the cabinet and started filling a kettle with water, “Hello Roach.”
Roach got the tea leaves and honey, nodding in acknowledgement.
Ghost boiled the water and poured it into their cups, while taking a spoonful of honey and dissolving it into his tea. He scratched behind Simba’s ears and sat down at an empty table, rolling up his mask to his nose to enjoy his tea, 1700 on the dot. Roach sat at another table with Gaz and Price, listening in to their conversation. The sound of a chair scraping against the floor was heard as the chair opposite him was pulled out, then occupied by the new sergeant. 
“Having some five-o-clock tea, are ye?”
“Best part of the day.” Ghost eyed Soap’s drink, “Can’t say I like coffee as much though.”
“I’d say the same fer yer tea, ye fucking brits.”
“My tea doesn’t taste like shit, for one.”
“Oi! Me coffee don’ taste like shite, ay dinnae call yer tea shite tae yer face, dae ay?”
“English, Mactavish.”
“Go fuck yer tea, coffee’s great.”
“To you Scots.”
“An the res’ o’ the fuckin’ world, ye sulkin’ bastard.”
Ghost resisted the urge to roll his eyes and went back to enjoying his tea while Johnny discussed his thoughts and theories on the upcoming mission, most of which Ghost had already considered, but it was good to hear it from another perspective. Since they weren’t informed if the Mexican forces had prowler, Ghost spent most of the time listening to speculations about what kinds of prowlers they might have, including- 
“a taco lizard, why not?”
“Johnny, that’s not an animal.”
“My ma said if ay didn’t finish my food, a lizard would steal it. Legends and myth class, ya know.”
“There’s no taco lizard legend.”
“Said who? Ye an expert on legends and myths now are ye?”
“What do you even call it?”
“A taco lizard?”
“A walking taco.”
“...please no.”
“knock knock.”
“No-”
“That’s an order, sergeant.”
“...who’s there?”
“Interrupting ghost.”
“Interrupting ghost who?”
“....”
“...wow. This just keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it.”
“Feeling stressed? Make a nice, big cup of hot tea. And use your enemies as a tea bag.”
“...what the fuck?”
“you know my dad is in the garden.”
“Really?”
“You’ll have to dig to find him though.”
“Si-”
ending on a happy note 😊
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dyns33 · 2 months
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I need some advice: More than a year ago, a "friend" asked several people to lend her money for her move. My sister, several people and I gave her cash, and she promised to start repaying the month of the following year, 4 months later. When she arrived in her new apartment, she discovered that the job she thought she had gotten was ultimately given to someone else, and on top of that she made the decision to change accommodation, moving from a shared apartment to an apartment on her own. Under these conditions, she told us she could not repay before March, because she had to find a new job, which we all understood. Then she adopted a cat. She went to the restaurant several times a week, posting everything on Instagram, in stories. She was going to bars. She bought an electric bike. She took a trip to Italy. Lots of useless things, like DVDs, PS4 games, figurines, mangas… Time passed, March arrived, and nothing. She didn't mention the money again and no one said anything. I didn't need the money, but it was my money, and I couldn't understand why she didn't prioritize repayments when she was buying all these things. I first asked her kindly when she thought she would get the money back, and she told me in the summer. I waited until September and sent her a long message, which I really turned out to be polite and understanding. I told her that I saw her purchases, and that it hurt me. That she had promised to repay and that she could start little by little, and not even with me, because some people who had given her money needed it. She didn't have to stop buying anything for herself, but she had to make a budget. Her response came a few minutes later, saying I wasn't a real friend or I never would have sent her that. That the things she paid for were not with her money, but with the money of people who agreed to lend to her. The same people to whom she already owed and who continued to lend to her. She then told me that she was going to save money and that she would pay me back first, then it would be over. I said goodbye to her and blocked her. Since then, nothing. I haven't received any money, even though she knows where I live. She always goes to restaurants, travels and buys lots of things. My sister hasn't seen her money again, and today the 'friend' just got blocked for not wishing her on her birthday. She had already blocked two of her exes, deciding they didn't deserve to be paid back. I have her mother's number. We have known each other for years, we were "sisters". I know she is not a good person, she is selfish, manipulative, she will never change. But I can't stop thinking about it. Not only did I have the right to claim my money back after a year, but it was also a question of respect, of principle. I can't accept that she doesn't get punished. Except I don't know what to do. Unblock her by reminding her that she still owes us money ? Tell her parents, who don't know she has debts ? Move on ?
Update : I'm a moron who can't think for two minutes, I unbloked her, told her to send me my money since she can fucking go to Italy and have my adress, told her that I hoped she would be more respectful with the people who are still waiting, anf bloked her again. Happy birthday, bitch.
Not sure she will send anything, but I needed her to know that I was not forgetting, nor forgiving.
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bobamilkk · 11 months
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TF2 HEADCANONS PART TWO ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
I told myself I’d get these up one of these days👍 I finished this list at 4 am last night so none of this makes any sense and every word is more chaotic than the ones before it and no I’m not sorry y’all sighed up for this bs
Scout
-Can understand a good chunk of French but can’t speak more than a few simple words if that, has no clue how he understands it (Spy spoke a good amount of French around him as a baby or something idk)
-Can be just has hard to find as Spy-once you loose sight of him he’s impossible to find if he’s actually trying to stay hidden-Like father like son
-Can and will steal your food-this includes Heavy and Medic-He has no fear whatsoever and has been sent to respawn god knows how many fucking times because of this-And yet he still does it
-Loves scifi movies and comics and if you watch a movie with him half of it is him pointing out random trivia facts because he’s incapable of shutting the fuck up (this is also what happens when you watch a movie with me irl. My grandparents are sick and tired of it. Yes this is even more self projection what of it?)
-has mastered the younger sibling talent of fucking climbing people if it means getting something that’s held over his head. He also bites
Soldier
-it’s impossible to tell if he’s insulting you or complimenting you 90% of the time
-Has stabbed Scout’s hand to the table to prevent him from stealing food before and no one stopped him
-The team has movie nights once a week and Soldier always puts on the same inaccurate WW2 documentary he made himself when it’s his turn to pick-he used to put on 10 hours of the American National Anthem but someone (read: The rest of the team working together) lost (read: Violently destroyed) the tape after the third time
-I said he was from Missouri once in a rp cuz my rp friend and I are both from different parts of Missouri so that’s my hc now
Pyro
-I always hc him as Irish for some reason idk why
-Can casually pick up every merc except for Heavy-He struggles a bit with Medic because that man is pure muscle but they can indeed pick him up
-May or may not be a cannibal-it’s a little uncertain but either way they’re banned from the kitchen and cooking duty
-I’m a sucker for the hc that he does not like water whatsoever-Getting this man a bath is like trying to bathe a cat except somehow even more deadly
Demo
-This may be the impulsive sleep deprivation but my brain randomly went “What If he can see general ghosts because of his possessed eye socket, not just Eyelander or the scream fortress ghosts” so sometimes people walk in on him casually having a conversation with the air. Considering he’s made out with his own organs in his head, this is one of the less weird things they’ve walked in on him doing
-Surprisingly he’s the best with kids out of all 9 mercs, Heavy is a good runner up though and Spy’s not far behind but will never admit it
Heavy
-Accent gets thicker when he’s talking to people he cares about
-Was the one who suggested the movie nights in the first place
-Actually cleans up in the base unlike literally everyone else
Engie
-People don’t realize how unhinged this man is ok??? Anyways he’s a caffeine addict and has developed the habit of pulling way too many all nighters if it means getting work done (like me. It’s 4 am as I work on this list. Help)
-What’s a southern farm boy without a few dozen concerning stories about pushing cousins out of second story barn windows or near drowning fishing story? My cousins lived on a farm when we were kids and they scared the shit out of me I swear there was a new broken bone every summer
-probably once had a sleep deprived mental breakdown on his workshop floor because the sweet tea one of the mercs made him wasn’t sweet enough idk man I’m sleep deprived rn and could really use a southern style sweet tea
Medic
-Mann vs Machine hc that his hometown would rather deal with the robots than having Medic anywhere near them ever again. They want him GONE
-Sleeps like a fucking corpse-You can’t even tell he’s breathing unless you look closely. He even crosses his arms like a corpse
-Will take you graverobbing for a romantic date-gotta get experiment canvases somehow he’s running out of room on the other mercs without them just dropping dead from it all
Sniper
-The opposite of a morning person, but his internal clock won’t let him sleep in ever. The suns up? He’s up! Someone help him
-Has befriended a wild owl and feeds it at night-The offense trio very violently helped him name it (They fist fought eachother over who’s name was better while Sniper spaced out thinking about random gator facts)
Spy
-An adrenaline junkie but will never ever admit it
-Spy can mimic voices to a near perfect even without his disguise kit-he however rarely uses this and instead simply mocks everyone instead because he finds it funny (“This is Scout! Rainbows make me cry!”)
-Wears a corset because I said so-It always matches perfectly with his outfit and underwear too-He feels SO bonita
Bonus since it’s Pride Month
-Scout is gay and so many levels deep in the closet it’s embarrassing-He’s also trans because I said so
-Soldier is trans, bi, and poly :) his list of wives consists of anyone and everyone /j
-Spy is bi and a cis man who wears dresses regularly he’s gnc af and I love that for him he’s my wife now
-Medic is gay and still legally married to his wife they’re mlm wlm solidarity married for tax benefits /j
-Pyro is trans, non-binary, and pan and uses he/they pronouns because I said so
-None of these men are straight ok
-Medic did both Scout and Soldier’s top surgery but both of them instead have overly extravagant extremely gorey stories on how they got their scars
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