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parachutingkitten · 5 months

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Why is Pixane So Queer?

Some thoughts on Asexual Romance.

[warning, long post below the cut]

The Ninjago fandom had a very potent reaction to The Quest for the Lost Powers repeatedly describing Pixal and Zane as being 'very close friends'. This seemed quite contradictory to many who assumed the confession of undying love at the end of the last season might have been a small hint at a romantic relationship of some kind. However, after closer examination, it turns out Pixal and Zane don’t ever actually refer to themselves as a couple, and the show has never once referred to them being in an active relationship.

But there’s something here, right? Sure, it’s not explicitly stated, but you are lying to yourself if you can watch them and tell me there is zero romantic subtext going on here. A lot of people got very defensive that the children’s book stated they were friends, especially when it also seemingly confirmed that the much straighter straight boy ship, Kailor, was apparently canon, despite being only implied as a possible future for ages now. But I find this backlash to be a bit strange. Sure, Zane and Pix aren’t exactly ‘just friends’ but, what do you want them to say? That they’re boyfriend and girlfriend? You want these two to say they’re ‘going out’ with each other? You think these two robots are ‘dating’ each other, like they’re just susin’ out the partner pool. Are those the words that fit this relationship to you?

I found myself feeling weirdly offended at everyone, and I think the reason was that these two love-droids haven’t chosen to define their relationship in traditional terms, and so everyone’s insistence that they should be boxed into some sort of traditional term seems inherently strange. It’s like when two elderly people are dating, it feels weird when they say “this is my girlfriend” because despite it being factually true, there’s so much baggage that comes with the word, part of that implication being youth, which is directly at odds with the immediate situation. It’s the correctness of the word paired with the incorrectness of the societal implications which forces you to assess if those societal implications should exist. And that- that is what makes this relationship feel queer. That’s why there’s this undeniably different kinda energy radiating off of it. It’s that rejection of the traditional labels, the refusal to be put into a box, which forces it to be a-typical. But, why? Why does Pixane have this rejection of labels radiating off of it? Their ages, while being literally whack, are presented as being your typical teenage to young adult age romance. Their genders present as a typical hetero pairing. And it’s not like they don’t follow your typical cliche love at first sight plot. I mean, Pixal was pretty explicitly created as a generic love interest character. So, what is it? Why is this queer? Spoiler alert: It’s because they’re asexual.

So, what is asexuality? Strictly defined, it is a community of people who experience little to no sexual attraction to anyone. This is distinct from aromanticism, which is a lack of romantic attraction, and sexual engagement or urges which are their own separate boat, but often have overlap with asexuality. However, for our purposes, we are focused on just the sexual attraction part. You can think of it as the difference between finding someone hot and finding someone cute. That’s the distinction that made it click for me anyway.

Now, as a disclaimer, I am not going to be considering other queer interpretations of this relationship. Not to invalidate them, because of course they’re valid, but specifically because I feel there isn’t precedent for them in the text, and I feel there is for asexuality. This deep dive is particularly about validating asexuality as being queer, and so to do that we have to eliminate any other outstanding factors. People are extremely quick to pin asexual queerness to something else, and that in itself can feel invalidating, even if it’s only attempting to validate other communities as well. Asexual romance is so easily read as straight romance, that any queer undertones have to have an alternate explanation, because asexuality doesn’t seem like enough to cross the barrier. Yes, enby interpretations of Pixane are great, and fantastic, and I would die for your right to follow those headcanons, but to pin the in text queer vibes on the fact that they technically don’t have biological gender, despite having very clear presenting and unwavering genders in text seems like a real easy way to dismiss the asexual coding which is staring me in the face. While things like non-binary or aromantic readings validate communities who have immense oppression and are continually called fake or confused, which is insanely important, asexuality, especially as it stands apart from aromanticism, is often confused as not being a difference at all. You’re just pure! You’re just wholesome! You’re just so sweet and innocent! And yes… yes, I am, but also, it’s more than that. It’s fundamentally something different about the way my brain is wired, and I feel a need to defend the fact that it, specifically, is queer. And in no way am I trying to say that the aces are the most oppressed actually, I don’t want to start the oppression Olympics here, and if we were to, I would probably argue quite the opposite, but I am saying that there is oppression, and it comes from outside and inside of the community, and it is a thing. It’s a different flavor of thing that’s maybe not as severe, but also sits differently. Maybe it’s not as much a pressing thing as other things, but… it’s my thing. It’s what I feel. It’s something I can speak on. So, I’m going to speak on it.

Perhaps one of the largest factors asexuality has to offer is the necessary separation of romance and sex. The packaging of sexual attraction and romantic attraction is so ubiquitous that the term ace is often assumed to be referring to aro/ace people, despite there being a term for that… aro/ace! Asexuality is not an easy queerness to explain, precisely because of this deeply held integration. It’s not a difference of experience necessarily, it’s a lack of a certain experience. I’m not saying this is something you can’t understand, because, unless you’re aromantic, I know you understand it! You are going to be able to like and relate to and feel seen by asexual romances, because the main component it requires is that you have romantic attraction- which is most people. And so many people get confused when you point to an asexual thing and go “I get that! This! This is me!” Because they just respond with “You’re not special, I get that too. Is this supposed to be different?” And, yes, it is, primarily because everything else includes this giant other thing as well, which is sexuality.

When vegans get excited about finding a meal which is especially delicious and also meets their food restrictions, they get particularly excited. That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy that same vegan meal- no doubt it probably tastes incredibly delicious to you as well. But you likely won’t get that same feeling of excitement, because you don’t live under the same restrictions as vegans do. That’s the same thing I feel when I see an asexually coded romance. I can enjoy the full meal without having to pick things out or ignore vital parts. I have no doubt that others can thoroughly enjoy asexual romances, but you’re going to have to look at it in context of all the dominant romance stories in the world to understand why it’s so different and special to me.

Now, have I cracked the code on asexual romance in media? No. I only have my own experience with asexuality to lean on, and the very limited discourse on the topic I’ve come across while discovering my identity. All of this is simply a theory based on my own thoughts and observations, but these are some explanations as to what might possibly be included in a framework for an asexually coded romance, at least to me.

So, what makes romance asexual? It’s not simply a lack of sexual suggestiveness. Any number of romances aren’t sexually suggestive, but still glaringly heteronormative- especially in children’s television. And it’s also not a lack of initial attraction, as that would throw Pixane out of the running for sure. Well, I have a few things which I feel may contribute to asexual coding of a romantic relationship, and wouldn’t you know, Pixane is a great example of all of them.

Asexual romance may, as many have remarked, come off as more innocent. When you shove all of the focus of characters onto the romantic, emotional connection, rather than any underlying sexual tension, things end up feeling extremely innocent to the layperson. You get the sort of old married couple effect. Two people deeply in love, who just sort of stare at each other in awe, and that others can comment on how cute they are. Again, asexuals don’t necessarily find anything hot. Cuteness is the main operative factor motivating their attraction, so it follows that their interactions would radiate that factor back at observers. The characters might in fact be very touchy, have sex, enjoy that physical touch, but that’s not at the forefront of anyone’s mind in the story. This is an aspect of Pixane that can be read very clearly. Their romance is quite easily described as pure and wholesome by all who have the pleasure of observing them. The way they interact with each other is extremely gentle and supportive, and their level of old married couple vibes is by far the highest of any pairings in the show (aside from perhaps the actual old married couple of Ed and Edna).

Asexual romance, I find to often be less conflict driven. Take the classic enemies to lovers plotline- it’s built on a tension between an innate irrational attraction, and a perceived logical personality conflict. While romantic attraction is certainly not always rational, from my understanding, sexual attraction is often rooted in factors that aren’t at all related to logical compatibility or personality. This means the enemies to lovers plot is primed to work much better when sexually charged, because it presents a clear path to create the hate/love conflict. Not to say that asexual enemies to lovers is impossible, or that asexual partners don’t have conflict between them, but that it is less of an obvious threat to incorporate into asexual romance. Because there are less factors and layers of attraction to get involved in, there’s less room for conflict and contradiction between them. It is much easier to get tangled up in a situation with more strings. Pixane is a relationship which certainly doesn’t hold much internal conflict. The one disagreement they did have is solved quite neatly with basic communication skills in the middle of season 8. Most of their conflict comes from external factors which separate them or cause misunderstanding, rather than conflict from within the characters themselves.

Asexual romance also has the obvious potential to challenge traditional dating norms. Because there is no impulse to escalate things physically, it makes sense that the progression of an asexual romance would differ from traditional relationships where that escalation is expected. Your asexual romance is bound to get emotionally intense with each other quicker, or at least have it be the focus of their story, because there is no other facet to deal with. Asexuals don’t commonly have sexual fantasies for themselves, but rather romantic fantasies. Not to say that most people don’t have romantic fantasies, but… that’s all we’ve got. And when your impulse is ‘let’s get married, and then maybe I guess we can kiss’, it might seem like things are progressing out of order to the average person. While asexuals don't all hate physical contact or even sexual connection, it isn't an attractive or motivating factor in the same way it is in most romances, so even on a base level, the level of physical contact is likely going to be less than average. Pixane progresses ridiculously out of order. Zane is willing to split his soul for her- it’s only at this point that they romantically hold hands for the first time. It’s the emotional connection between the two that comes first, and all classic tangible symbols of affection and romance that are secondary. The most pronounced physical contact we’ve seen is a cheek kiss, and their most common type of physical contact is enthusiastic hugging (which I’ll dive more into later).

Additionally, because physical affection is more of an afterthought, it would also make sense for labels to come slowly. If you have an incredibly close personal, soulful connection, but you haven’t kissed yet, it makes sense for people around you to assume you’re just really close friends, or perhaps just crushing on each other still. Terms like “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” invoke rather physical tactile images, and so to attempt to apply them to an asexual romance isn’t necessarily wrong but may feel a bit off putting because of this dissonance. Again, it’s this dissonance between the romantic meaning of the word, and the sexual undertones which forces discomfort onto the viewer. Pixal and Zane have yet to kiss each other after years of dancing around each other’s obvious romantic feelings. It remains unclear if they even are in an active romantic relationship at all, or are still mutually pinning, as no labels have been given to their relationship in show. I have no doubt part of this is the lack of planned dates or physical affection which are common outward signals of a traditional established relationship.

A lot of the saucy flirting which accompanies many classic heteronormative romances can seem rather pointless to asexuals. I would venture to say that asexuals are likely more direct and up front with their emotional vulnerability and feelings, because that’s the connection which they are seeking to make. To dance around it with innuendo and mind games is rather unproductive in achieving the end goal. There is less of a pressure to “perform” romance, and instead just be honestly romantic, because the romance isn’t a prelude to sex, or physical affection, it’s the end goal in and of itself. To only pretend to do it is entirely pointless. All of this is likely going to result in a romance which puts less focus on the “game of dating”. I mean, can you imagine Pixane ending up in a Jaya style love triangle? It’s almost an absurd pitch to make, right? There is no performativity to the Pixane relationship, it is exactly as it appears at first glance. And when Zane attempts more traditional, cheesy flirting tactics like in Ninjago Confidential, Pixal is nothing but confused and annoyed by his attempts.

The most prominent example which I feel exemplifies the inherently asexual coding of Pixane applies to many robotic romances- and it’s the characters’ relationship with skin. A lot of sexual suggestion and tension is based on skin. The revealing nature of skin exposure, the feeling of skin on skin being a sexual touchpoint, skin is essential to the sexual experience in most instances. This is part of the reason I love writing romance but have yet to write a kiss between anyone. The sexuality of a kiss is inherently uncomfortable to write for me because you’re encouraged to lean into the physical feeling of the touch of skin. Robots bring to the forefront the idea of this physical contact because their skin is often not exactly skin, and that in itself gives a sort of de facto distance from sexuality. There’s a moment which happens repeatedly with Pixane, and shows up in other robotic romances, like Wall-E and Eve, which I feel highlights this essential separation from the skin of sexuality. Pixane and Wall-Eve both have the ‘clink’ moment, in which intimate physical contact is made, (in Pixane’s case, all of their many hugs) and accentuated by the sound of their metal skin meeting with a loud clink. This sound not only highlights their lack of skin but serves to suck any sexual energy out of the interaction immediately and leaves it purely with the romance intended by the action. It’s not uncommon for people to find the sound humorous, precisely because of how desexualizing it is. It highlights the couples’ incapability of indulging in sexual skin on skin contact, and instead the closeness and companionship the act of touching provides.

And this is why I feel robots are in fact a decent candidate for asexual characters if done properly. Robots being coded as asexual can be a very negative stereotype, particularly when their asexuality is explicitly linked to their lack of emotion and feeling- but media about robots has been trending more positively recently. In fact, robots, if used correctly, may actually validate asexuality explicitly. Robotic characters are often used to explore the idea of what makes humanity human. If we give these robots human-like enough traits, when do they become human? Are they perhaps the most human? And it seems like fictional consensus agrees that sexuality is not required to achieve human status. Stripping away the excess human emotions may be part of what makes robots asexual (or aromatic, if your robot is also incapable of romantic love). The medium of robot literalizes the disconnect that asexuals have with their physical bodies, most notably their skin, and serves to put additional distance between the character and sexual contact, at least in the traditional sense. I mean, think about it, if you want your robot to be sexual, you need to go out of your way to establish that it has sexual capability, because no one is going to simply assume that your fictional robot was designed with that capability in mind. Why would it be, unless that was its explicit purpose? In a way, robots are sort of de facto asexual.

Pixane is queer because it’s asexual, and it’s asexual because they distill down only the purely romantic parts of a romantic relationship. They’re able to do this, in part because of their individual characterization, but also because of their robotic bodies, which make the separation between romance and sexuality just that much easier. They highlight the necessity to separate romance from all of the convoluted sexual layers which often accompany it, and so come out feeling distinctly untraditional and subversive.

That's the theory, again, all hyper based on my own personal experience with asexuality, which is of course not all encompassing. I'd love to hear your thoughts :)

#ninjago #pixane #pixal borg #zane julien #pixal ninjago #zane ninjago #asexuality #long one #parachuterants

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bambi-kinos · 26 days

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I really enjoy your meta and look forward to more mclennon analysis. Out of curiosity, you mentioned that you think they started being physical in 1964 - is there a reason why that year specifically? Personally, I've always thought they started sleeping together in 1963, and my reasoning for that is they seem much closer in videos/photos, not to mention it was the year they "broke through", so to speak.

Would love to hear your thoughts on that!

Hmm well I guess it depends on how they, and we, define their sex life. John and Paul were sexually intimate starting since they were teenagers because John brought Paul into the group wanks. (tbh it's a miracle Paul didn't brain John with something heavy thanks to all that Winston Churchilling.) There's really no telling how it progressed from there, anything is possible with these two. Until Paul tells us the details (and I do not put it past him) then he and John could have been hooking up at literally any point in their relationship. When I think of them getting physical with each other, I'm thinking of them getting each other off with intent and purpose, and considering the style of the time this would mean penetration. Everything else can be handwaved away.

I pick 1964 because of this post: https://www.tumblr.com/got-ticket-to-ride/739464905120497664/its-the-anniversary-day-of-john-and-paul-in-paris?source=share

It's just something about it, y'know. John and Paul are in their city. They stayed up all night and well into the morning and then slept deep into the afternoon, almost evening. And then as GTTR says, "And then they emerge from their hotel room looking like a newlywed couple."

Well, there's just a certain satisfaction radiating off them isn't there?

But I do see your point: why wouldn't they be hooking up earlier? Why wouldn't it escalate physically before this? Why would they wait until Paris 1964?

I have a few reasons, they are admittedly flimsy but since we are all just making shit up then it's fine, right?

Julian was born in 1963. I've read bits and pieces of Beatles 1963 by Rees and that book is full of little chunks about John running home to see Cynthia and the baby (usually not even for a full night/day because he was so busy.) Their schedule is also packed, they are constantly on the move especially during the night because this is where they had to start being smuggled out of theaters and such. So I genuinely think that John and Paul did not have the time or the space to have sex with each other. I know I am saying this when they had time to hook up with groupies between shows but considering who John and Paul are, and what they mean to one another, I just struggle to imagine them acting that way with one another. They would want to take their time with one another and get it right. They're hopeless romantics at heart, they're both deeply enamored with the idea of "you're special, you're different" so I genuinely think they would want to take their time with each other physically and do it right. I don't think they had that time in 1963 with the way they're running all over the UK.

Then there's the Absolute State of John and Paul's relationship in 1963. Remember that the halcyon days of Paris are way in the rearview mirror at this point. In 1962 Stuart died, Cynthia got pregnant, and John had to get married to save her reputation. I can't imagine Paul reacting well to any of this though I'm sure he put his cheery stoic mask on. Then in 1963, Julian is born. Barcelona happens and John seduces Brian to get the songwriting credit that he wanted and screws Paul out of their deal. Considering this is something Paul is still angry about to this day, I can't imagine how he blew his fucking top at John when he found out that May:

I don't think Paul was in the mood for any hooking up in 1963. John has a baby with a woman, is married, then he fucks off to have a gay experience with their manager and then when he comes back he's screwed Paul's side of the business on the downlow? I would be on the fucking six o' clock news lmao, John would not have escaped my wrath. It's really no wonder Paul made a specific point of hooking up with Jane Asher isn't it? He was making a point to John specifically and John seethed about it.

However I do think that something happened in 1963 that healed the rift in the Lennon-McCartney relationship:

Paul got sick from the gastric flu and he fainted dead away in the dressing room. John was very upset and was seen pacing the room when the doctor arrived to check on Paul. This is how we know that Paul actually fainted for real, if he was just feeling feverish John would be concerned but maybe not like that. @james-winston has a pair of really fantastic posts about the aftermath of the fainting incident that I have taken as gospel and I fully apply this to any McLennon analysis I write about this period. The key point though is this:

I have a headcanon that Paul being sick caused something to happen between John and Paul that left them both feeling awkward around each other. I don't think it is was sexual, I think it was more likely that John (who thought he was cursed to have all the men he loved die on him) was afraid something might happen to Paul, and reacted emotionally to it.

This all took place in November, after the Wooler thing, after the burn from Barcelona has had a chance to soften, after they both have had time to get used to the idea that Julian exists and has a place in their lives now. I think this was enough to mend things between them. And you know what else happened the night Paul fainted? Brian secured The Beatles their spot on Ed Sullivan:

So once Brian comes back and tells them the news, John and Paul flip right back into the honeymoon phase. The wounds of the past are forgotten (for now) and they're right back in each other's pockets. I think it's around this time period that Paul was taking photos that now make up Eye of the Storm.

TBH I can imagine John and Paul hooking up at this date. If someone looked at this and said "well this looks like a prelude to sweet love making to me" then that's perfectly reasonable. There's some suggestive photos in Eye of the Storm where Paul is taking John's picture from what looks to be a bathtub while John makes faces at him. It could have been then, absolutely.

But I like the idea that Paul wanted to wait until the next year. 1963 was rough on all of them and he and John are both big on getting new starts. Wait for 1964 to roll around. Brian says we're going to Paris in February. I can wait until then.

And just this once, it was worth it.

#mclennon #anonymous asks #talktalktalk #my meta #beatles meta #this was a really fun ask anon thank you

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greenthena · 4 months

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Why then was this forbid? Why but to keep ye low and ignorant

(If evil, why tasty?)

In the Garden (the one in Eden, not in Tadfield or Berkeley Square), Aziraphale is tasked with protecting the Tree of Knowledge. He is, as he says, "On apple tree duty," that day when Crawly suggests to Eve that the fruit might be extra delicious, and worth a rather significant gamble.

And about that fruit...what was it that was so corrupting to humanity that they had to be cast from paradise after consuming it? Aha! You just fell victim to one of the classic blunders. You thought I was here to argue theology. Even I'm not that much of a masochist. What I will say is this, the fruit gave them knowledge--specifically, the knowledge of Good and Evil--which made them like God. In Paradise Lost, where (let's be honest) Western Christians get most of their context for the Fall of Man, Milton describes humankind's experience prior to that Original Sin as being fully Good. Good (as defined by the Almighty) is available to Adam and Eve from their conception. But Evil can only be known by disobeying God...by eating the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. And, oh, does does that Wily Old Serpent entice Eve to eat the fruit. The Serpent's temptation is a hefty stanza, but my most particular favorite part is this,

Why then was this forbid? Why but to awe, Why but to keep ye low and ignorant, His worshippers; he knows that in the day Ye Eate thereof, your Eyes that seem so cleere, Yet are but dim, shall perfetly be then Op'nd and cleerd, and ye shall be as Gods, Knowing both Good and Evil as they know.

(Milton, Book 9, lines 703-709.)

Ah, Crawly, you did such a good job. "Get up there and make some trouble." And you certainly did.

So knowing, knowledge...theologically these are heavy themes in the Eden narrative. Once Eve and Adam partake of the fruit (oh, spoiler alert...sorry...yah, they eat the apple) their eyes are opened and they realize that they are naked and everything changes. They're exiled from paradise, never to return to the sanctuary of creation's womb.

Remember what Aziraphale was doing that day? Well, what he was supposed to be doing, anyhow... Guarding the Tree, yes? Guardian of the Eastern Gate of Eden, but also Steward of the Tree. Keeper of the Knowledge. Hold that thought; I'm going to need you to come back to it in a bit.

Crawly...well, Crowley and Aziraphale spend the next six millennia on earth addressing the assignments given by their respective Head Offices and eventually forming their Arrangement. And through this time, Crowley introduces Aziraphale to a vast array of different types of knowledge: the knowledge of what food tastes like in the definitely-not-a-temptation form of ox ribs; the knowledge of what wine does to an angel's corporation; the knowledge that he has more free will than he realizes and can lie directly to Heavens' Supreme Archangel; and, perhaps most impactfully, the knowledge that he has a friend hereditary enemy who will keep his secrets safe.

As Aziraphale experiences existence on earth, he accumulates volumes of knowledge that other angels will never have, and even begins to collect this knowledge for himself in the most human way imaginable.

He acquires books. Little storehouses of knowledge in which people express their ideas, ask questions, and perform humanity in a way that is really only possible because Eve took the apple and defied her Maker. If they'd stayed in the Garden, there would be no questions, no new ideas, no sushi restaurants, and no dusty little bookshops where angels keep their precious hoards of human knowledge.

Remember that little thought I asked you to hold onto oh, say two paragraphs ago? Here's where it fits. A.Z. Fell & Co. is the New Eden. It's a safe haven containing a vast store of knowledge guarded by the angel of the Eastern Gate. Even the physical design of the bookshop mimics the walls of the Garden.

Just as in the original Eden, where the angel gave the demon the shelter of his wing, the bookshop provides a true home for Crowley (especially in S2, when we see him consistently remove his sunglasses upon entering the shop as an act of vulnerability.)

And like God in Her Garden, Aziraphale is covetous of his Knowledge, refusing to sell his books just as the Almighty denied the breeding pair of humans access to the fruit.

(Also, I literally asked God, and She said that Aziraphale will get mad if you try to eat his books.)

#good omens #meta monday #go meta #crowley #aziraphale #angel of the eastern gate #anthony janthony crowley

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darkwood-sleddog · 1 month

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I know this is a very long ask with a lot of questions, but do you think an inuit qimmiq could ever be ethically kept by a pet home below the treeline? A lot of sources suggest they're a hardcore working dog that needs an actual job like a belgian malinois, but in a home that regularly engages in casual/hobby bikejoring, weight pull, hiking & packing etc, would it be possible to have one as a companion animal? Also do you think it may be culturally insensitive/ignorant to own one of these dogs as a non-indigenous (no inuit ancestry or any connection to inuit culture)? I don't actually have any plans to acquire one of these dogs anytime soon but I'm really fascinated by them and if I ever own one (if its acceptable) it'll be after I have enough experience with other dog breeds (mostly asian spitz, probably, im fascinated by how very similar yet very, very different inuit qimmiq are to these dogs). Also, I read that inuit qimmiq puppies need to be raised with at least one other inuit qimmiq puppy to have proper, well-rounded social skills with humans and dogs as an adult, do you know if this is true? Again sorry for bothering you and if you aren't equipped enough to answer my questions it's fine.

When it comes to questions like "do i think *insert dog breed/type here* can be ethically kept in a situation" I will alway default to the fact that dogs can be kept ethically in many situations and there's a lot more nuance to ethicality than defining a home as "working" or "pet" or "above tree line" or "below tree line". My main question will aways hinge on: is the dog being fulfilled?

There is a fundamental difference between working dogs like qimmiq other indigenous bred working dogs and working dogs like malinois. The malinois, especially the working malinois has been fundamentally changed from its traditional role to better suit people's working needs. From a working perspective it is much more common for the work malinois do to not be herding or herding adjacent, but rather protection, police, military and bite sport related. The malinois is changed from what it was, the qimmiq is not. It is very much unchanged from its traditional role and way of being. To understand why this difference is meaningful first one must understand what traditional work often means for dogs. A good working dog outside of the modern context is a dog that can settle, a dog that does not need constant upkeep physically, a dog that can weather the elements, a dog that is temperamentally sound within its basic breed specific behaviors, a dog that is not quivering with unsprung energy and with qimmiq they are not worked in the summer. In this aspect, qimmiq are very much the opposite of modern working & sport malinois, but it does not mean they are content to be couch potatoes and they are very much dogs that need outside space. I know several in pet type homes, but they are pet homes like mine where the dogs work consistently several times a week and often live outside. (however a majority of canadian qimmiq i know of are in working homes in some regard). The difference between qimmiq and my working bred malamutes is that my dogs have been bred for work AND for in home companionship. Usually, the qimmiq is bred to pull sleds, not to live inside your house (because again they are very unchanged).

You must ask yourself, as you should do with any breed/type of dog: what can I provide for this dog? Why do I want this dog? Will I commit to changing my lifestyle for this dog?

I cannot personally speak on if owning qimmiq is culturally insensitive as a non-inuit. I know several that do and they are, or have been before their own deaths, welcomed in the community as part of cultural exchange (there are whole populations of Canadian Inuit Dogs in the UK and Italy that work their dogs in harness and often import native dogs from indigenous sources in northern Canada for example), but that does not mean that other individuals may not be. Personally, I think as long as you are looking to learn more about traditional dogsledding, to learn about the context of the dogs in the culture, the history, all from the people that originated the dogs there are not going to be problems. I have strong personal feelings that the development and standards of what these dogs should look like and be capable of should be in inuit hands, but imo that does not close the dogs off from being owned and culturally exchanged to non inuit. I think the biggest hurdles you'd run in to are that there aren't many Canadian qimmiq in general due to various factors in Canada itself (past RCMP dog culls, lack of accessible vaccination for dogs, cost of keeping a team of dogs vs cost of a single snowmobile in the arctic etc.)

Now your last big question about puppies being raised together I have some big feelings on. I do not think you need two puppies, although I know a quite a few breeders of differing sled dog breeds that swear by this method. A majority of people are not equipped to raise two puppies together in a way that avoids littermate syndrome, so raising two puppies is detrimental to the dogs themselves. But, on the other ends of things, I have personal experience with the difference of primitive dogs that are traditionally kept in family groups being raised both within that family group and without. 2/3 of my dogs (Zombie and Slash) were raised in a multi generational pack of dogs. They are incredibly adept at dog body language in a way that Sigurd is not. Sigurd was an only dog for the first year of his life, and despite him coming from that same family group, having a very nice stable, temperament, and a lot of work being done on our end to ensure he had proper socialization, he lacks the dog language skills and pure poetry of proper interaction within a larger dog social group that my other two have. I will never raise a malamute puppy into a single dog household ever again, the difference in socialization is just so obvious to me. The behaviors of dogs are both part genetic, but also part environmental. But let me be clear, I do NOT think that two baby puppies can learn this type of socialization just from each other. Adults of various genders and age groups are needed for this kind of adept dog social language to be taught and exist. Sigurd isn't necessarily bad at it, he is pretty dog neutral and very friendly with people (as all my dogs are), most people would probably think he exhibits great dog body language compared to a majority of pet dogs, but once I got Slash and had two dogs out of three that were VERY ADEPT little dog language mozarts it became so strikingly clear to me what Sigurd lacks compared to them (something that often causes conflict in my pack btw because the way he exhibits behaviors and does not understand the signals my other dogs perceive as clear is considered rude by the other dogs). Now malamutes are pretty kennel clubified compared to Qimmiq, so take what I'm saying and increase it for them. I do not think they would thrive without at least one other existing dog in the house (even if that dog was a different breed) around, but certain outlying individuals i'm sure exist.

My final thoughts are that i think freighting sled dogs and indigenous sled dogs are super cool. So i understand why you are drawn to them. I dedicate a lot of time each and every day ensuring my working pet malamutes get what they need, am considering a 4th dog in 2026 due to sled dog brain rot, and even I have my doubts that I would be able to provide a qimmiq what i needs. If i were to get one, I'd have to get a lot more intense than I already am about putting the dogs to work, not because I think the dog wouldn't be content with pet life, but because I would feel guilty as hell purchasing a dog meant for traditional work in the arctic only for it not to get what I deem as the correct and appropriate amount of work due to other constraints that often come up in my life. Hell sometimes I feel this way about Slash because he's bursting with so much potential I feel I'm incapable of properly tapping.

#dogblr #faq #inuit qimmiq #i mean if you're only looking to do recreational stuff a working malamute is going to serve you just as nicely if not better #bc they are much more likely to be able to fit into that house dog niche #there are a lot of dogs i think are cool and i know i would not be able to own them #that's okay if that's how you figure things to go for you #we should own the dogs that fit our lives and needs the best #did you guys know that malamutes were a compromise breed for me and mr d? he wanted bigger and calmer and i wanted sled dogs #and here i am very very passionate about the working malamute in all its aspects #freight dogs too by extension

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aihoshiino · 7 months

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yo, ai is really canon autistic??

I'm like 99.999% certain, yeah! At the very least, Ai is canonically neurodivergent – specifically, she has some form of developmental disability (発達障害 hattatsu shougai) which is an umbrella term used in both English and Japanese to refer to neurodivergencies such as autism, ADHD, Tourette Syndrome and various other learning disabilities. In fact, if you google 発達障害, the first result will be a (Japanese) government website defining the term and listing examples and the first one it defines is autism.

This term is used to refer to Ai in both 45510 and in chapter 28 of the manga - I had trouble finding a raw of the original Japanese chapter but Akane can clearly be heard saying hattatsu shougai out loud at the equivalent point in episode 7 of the anime.

For transparency's sake, I don't know that Ai has ever been referred to specifically as autistic (自閉スペクトラム症 jihei spectrum shou) in either the text of the manga or in Word of God material but googling around in Japanese fan spaces had me come across a lot of folks speculating or otherwise pretty certain that she was supposed to be read as being autistic or having ADHD. In addition, hattasu shougai is a very specific term to reach for not once but twice and that combined with the way Ai is characterized has me pretty certain that this is authorial intent on the table.

Akane's big infodump and the information contained in it is pretty telling, imo:

None of these things are unique to autism, obviously, but 'sharp hearing and sense of smell' (alternately translated as sensitive) combined Ai's struggles with matching people's names and faces (a possible indication of faceblindness) and her general struggles with empathy and intuiting other people's feelings feel very deliberate to me.

There's also things like her always dressing in loose/baggy clothing when she's picking her own outfits (possibly indicating some sensory issues) and what Akane says here about her holding her chopsticks 'a little crooked' (that's the fine motor skills issues, babey!).

This is also way more anecdotal and not a slam dunk, but there's also the fact that the Venn Diagram of diagnosed autistic people in my friend circle who like Oshi no Ko and diagnosed autistic people in my friend circle who have pointed at Ai Hoshino and gone "she is Literally Me" is a single circle. I have literally lost count of the amount of times a friend has brought up some hyperspecific aspect of their lived experience as an autistic person and pointed it out in Ai and her behaviour and it's like... at some point you just have to start calling a duck a duck, you know?

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ai hoshino #hoshino ai

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transtalesofdoom · 1 month

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The Label Thing - personal experience

I've talked previously about labels I've considered, used, or decided not to use in passing. Let's talk about it in a bit more detail!

I like labels. It's a personal preference, and I understand why someone wouldn't, but I like having words to describe myself with. I like having a handful of terms to explain my experiences quickly. I also like knowing that there's more people with these experiences, grouped under my label. Makes it feel a little less lonely.

Before the whole gender thing, I had already picked out the labels of biromantic asexual. Gender never really meant anything to me, and why would I care about stuff like genitals if I didn't intend to interact with them. Opted for bi over pan because it sounded nicer and the flag was prettier.

And then the gender thing happened and I suddenly had an entirely new experience to describe. One that was still developing.

The first day after I had come out to myself, I neither liked the term "man" nor "trans" for myself. Both seemed too solid for what I was. I was a dude or a guy, but a man? There's the whole societal aspect to it, how trans men can get treated poorly for "becoming the enemy", that I won't get into here, but it definitely was at play. And "trans" had an oddly definitive feeling to it. Like I had a gender and goal in mind, when I very much didn't. This was weird to me, because I knew that's not how the label is used. Anything that isn't cis can be labeled as trans. But at first it felt like I was appropriating it.

Nonbinary was a pretty safe catch-all. I was, by the very definition, not binary. Nor did I think anyone else was, but that was beside the point. Genderqueer was another option worth considering, since my gender was most definitely queer, but something about it didn't really click with me. Maybe it was the flag and the fact that certain trans-exclusionists used the same colors because they fancied themselves suffragettes.

I became a little more comfortable with it as the compound of transmasc. That was me. I was transing into the masculine. Not very committal, but a descriptor of what I was up to with the gender.

I still liked the term "woman", weirdly enough. Having watched so many Woman-Power movies (shoutout to Oceans 8 and Birds of Prey specifically), it had taken a while for me to fully embrace that label to begin with, and once I had managed to find it empowering, I didn't want to let go of it again. Even if I was transmasc, "Woman" by Kesha was too good of a song to leave behind. I was a motherfucking woman!

I did a bit more snooping around into other labels to see if anything would stick. I found and read the comics by ND Stevenson, and came across the ones where he describes being bigender. And I liked that description. It resonated with me. Especially because he references the Kesha song, I guess. 'Vibrating between genders too fast to see' felt relatable. So maybe I was bigender?

But I wasn't vibrating between male and female. Those were a part of it, sure, but there was more. And also less. I was every gender and no gender simultaneously. And while that is a possible subgroup of bigender, it once again felt like using the term, although I liked it, wouldn't properly convey my experience.

That night I decided to coin "fuckgender", only to discover that not only did this label already exist, but it also described exactly what I was feeling. (Not to be confused with genderfuck.) And yet, while that was a fun little anecdote, it wasn't what I wanted from a label. And the fact that other people were using it, thereby turning it into a functioning microlabel, made it less appealing to me, somehow.

Instead, I decided to embrace "trans" as an umbrella term for the time being. I didn't really need to define it any further. "transmasculine nonbinary" worked well enough to convey my identity to others. I could elaborate for those who wanted to know more. For myself, the label was the same as my gender. It was kinda there and kinda not, both everything and nothing all at once. More of a general vibe than an actual word.

And that works for now. Maybe that will change. Probably, even. I might embrace bigender, or multigender, I might find my trans experience to be binary enough to go by trans man. Maybe I'll do a U-turn and become a nonbinary woman.

There's only one way to find out and personally, I'm excited for it.

#trans #transgender #personal #crimes against the gender convention #genderqueer #lgbtq #nonbinary #queer #nb #enby #transmasc #transmaculine #bigender #multigender #labels #label #microlabels #trans positivity #trans experience

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shineemoon · 8 months

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SHINee ✨ Femina India Interview FULL Interview → HERE

You’ve always been completely ahead of the curve when it comes to genre, often blending several sonic elements in one album. In this album, for instance, you have wobbly drum and bass and soulful vocals on The Feeling, a really fresh take on the clear drum breaks of ’90s hip-hop on HARD, and dance-pop on Identity. Yet, you can tell a SHINee track from a mile away. How do you connect so many diverse sounds to the SHINee colour, and what – in the first place – would you say is SHINee’s colour? KEY: Rather than defining SHINee with one colour, I believe SHINee’s colour consists of all the colours each one of our fans sees us as. MINHO: SHINee is quite an interesting team because we have the ability to make any song into SHINee’s own colours. It’s our biggest weapon. We’ve built up this skill since our first album, and it only strengthened as we tried out various genres and concepts. Now, all our members know how to make any track SHINee-like. TAEMIN: SHINee’s colour is a combination of the various music styles we’ve experimented with. Without being limited to a specific genre, we capture several different colours and find SHINee’s own way of uniting everything into one.

SHINee has a way of tapping into a collective sense of nostalgia – whether we go back to View, Married To The Music, or 1 of 1 even. Yet, you somehow manage doing this in a future-forward way with both your look and sound. How do you access and communicate a wide spectrum of emotions for people across borders and gender? KEY: Songs and melodies are very effective in expressing emotions and conveying messages to different people and genders. Though the lyrics might be interpreted differently depending on one’s culture, I believe a melody has a relatable power for everyone. MINHO: We try to convey emotions directly instead of hiding them. One of those characteristics is being upfront about how one feels and not hiding one’s emotions. TAEMIN: Even if we do not speak the same language, it’s the energy we’ve poured into this album that makes it possible for us to connect and communicate with those who listen to it.

Often, when you’re with a group of people who end up knowing you inside out, it helps you to see yourself more clearly. How would you say the close bond that exists between all of you has affected or changed you? TAEMIN: I was able to learn a lot from my (fellow band) members since they are all very talented. The bond we’ve formed through our time and experiences together is such a valuable gift to me.

How does the future look? KEY: SHINee will always remain the same. MINHO: The future will always be SHINee. TAEMIN: I’d like to live a happier life by giving back to our fans with good music and maintaining the precious relationships we have together. And I hope to perform overseas more often.

#SHINee #onew #key #minho #taemin #hard era #interview

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katelynsimpsince2016 · 1 year

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Katelyn has BPD analysis

i love psychoanalysing my favourite characters whenever i am currently questioning my own mental state.

disclaimer!!

this is based off extensive research,, the people in my life who deal with this condition and my own personal experience. i very much doubt jess intended any of this but once i began to notice the dots connecting when it comes to katelyn’s behaviour and common symptoms of bpd my brain had to make this post.

i aim to have be as accurate as possible with the resources and knowledge i have at my disposal about bpd. if you wish to add anything or believe i’ve said anything inaccurate please feel free to say!

so finally,, without further ado…

1. causes

“If you get a BPD diagnosis you're more likely than most people to have had difficult or traumatic experiences growing up, such as […] losing a parent” - Mind.org

in her early years,, katelyn’s mother left her and the rest of her family,, leaving them poverty stricken and in a single-parent household. losing a parent in any context can be deeply traumatic,, especially if the child does not have the right support systems and/or has to fill the role of the parent themselves. losing an attachment figure can increase a child’s poor psychological well-being,, changes in behaviour and mental health issues. although we don’t have much information,, losing her mother most definitely negatively affected katelyn. this is amplified by the fact this happened roughly during her preteens where a parent’s death is more likely to have a significant effect as the child and parent would have developed a close bond by then.

with what information we have on how elizabeth’s disappearance specifically affected katelyn suggests that there was a refusal to move on. it is said that she would throw tantrums whenever her father planned to be with another woman. this shows that katelyn was likely one of the most affected out of her entire family by this trauma; whilst the rest of her family attempted to move on with their lives katelyn was still stuck in the moment where she first learned that her mother was gone. she was stuck in the trauma. a fear of abandonment was instilled in her and her father disrupting the walls she had made would throw her into a state of distress. witnessing her father treat other women the same way he treated elizabeth possibly even triggered a return of the past trauma of losing her mother.

katelyn describes these episodes as “tantrums” a common way to phrase bpd episodes when the person experiencing them is undiagnosed. without the proper tools to address and control these episodes katelyn likely was left to process it all herself. this would have added to her complex trauma as a mishandling of an episode can also be a form of trauma. having no idea why not only your mind but your body is having such a violent reaction and your cry for help is being met with even more mishandling only leads to the problem becoming worse. if you struggle with any kind of mental disorder and your symptoms aren’t being questioned this will negatively affect you. these outbursts are usually cries for help in some way or another and them being simply ignored only digs the hole deeper.

with all this said katelyn does state that she eventually overcame her grief and was able to move on. we see that the grief over elizabeth’s disappearance does not affect her nearly as much as it once did as an adolescent and is no longer debilitating. but at what cost?

2. emotional instability

“If you have BPD, you may experience a range of often intense negative emotions” - NHS official website

one of katelyn’s most defining traits is her intense emotions,, usually extreme anger. in the early seasons of mystreet we see her snap and become easily irritated with people,, even with her friends. when she displays emotions such as panic or rage it is always extreme. furthermore,, violence is usually the next step as she regularly threatens the people around her and even sometimes goes through with it.

an important note to make is that those who struggle with bpd are not inherently violent. not in any sense of the word. however,, this does not mean people with bpd cannot be violent,, whether this is a byproduct of their bpd or something else. katelyn is someone who i think is violent because of her intense emotions brought on by bpd. she is not equipped enough to deal with these and consequently,, let’s it out on other people. no one has questioned why she acts like this and so she doesn’t find an issue with it. her problematic behaviour has been so normalised and the people around her are seemingly used to it,, aphmau and nana mostly notably so.

Nana: “Oooh you know Katelyn~Sama… she just likes to get in a snarky remark. She does that… a lot… to our customers at the restaurant.”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 1

nana and aphmau do not take any notice of katelyn’s behaviour,, simply brushing it off as her being well - katelyn. this shows that she’s been like this for the majority of her life,, long enough for her two closest friends to consider it normal. her knee-jerk reaction is defensiveness and fury and it’s a habit that goes deep and is ingrained into her.

it is deep in her veins,, so intrinsically a part of her being that she cannot be separated from it; the people around her quite literally solely associate her with wrath. this passive acceptance of this toxic trait likely enables her behaviour,, preventing her from healing. although she mentions that she does meditation it cannot replace actual professional help. she doesn’t appear to have enough self awareness to keep herself in check that she ends up hurting others in an irreversible way. but that’s for later on.

another example of her extreme emotions is her anxiety.

Katelyn: “Do you not remember high-school? I always freak out before tests.”

Travis: “Oh yeah. But you usually passed so why worry now?”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 23

although anxiety over exams is common, travis points out that katelyn has been repeatedly successful in tests so this worry seems to be a lot more like paranoia than simple nervousness. katelyn feels like her whole world is ending and is completely frazzled.

Katelyn: “There’s no way I can [calm down]. The test is in 10 minutes - I need more time.”

no amount of rationalising will make the situation any less stressful for her. she only experiences in extremes; in terror and alarm and not simply nervousness and worry. on top of this,, she doesn’t appear to have any proper coping mechanisms for this outside of meditation. no grounding method. no breathing technique. she either lashes out or freezes up. for a character who when it comes to picking between fight or flight usually chooses fight she has a pattern of being so overwhelmed by her emotions that she cannot function. her brain’s rationality is drowned out by anger,, anxiety,, sadness whatever she’s dealing with and all that is left is pure instinct.

3. impulsive behaviour

“Impulsivity is regarded as a clinical, diagnostic and pathophysiological hallmark of borderline personality disorder” - PubMed.gov

impulsivity in the context of bpd is thought as usually being something of the like of drug misuse or unprotected,, risky sex. however,, it can also present as less extreme actions (although still harmful) like binge-eating or going on a spending-spree. impulsivity in someone with bpd goes deeper than individual reckless actions and can affect the personality of the person. for example,, maybe they’re charismatic and charming or dramatic and seek thrilling activities. this all can actually be tied back to lower impulse control.

i bring this up because although we don’t see katelyn acting impulsive much,, her true symptoms may be more clear in her personality and this does happen in those with bpd. for example,, katelyn is playful with her friends and has flirted with quite a few people. her flirtatious behaviour doesn’t seem to hold much meaning,, however,, usually being meaningless. this kind of attitude to love and relationships is an example of how reckless behaviour in bpd can affect someone’s personality and day-to-day life. in episode 31 after a chaotic string of events due to zane and aphmau faking a relationship whilst zianna visits,, katelyn ends up stepping in and lies about her and aph being in a relationship and even goes as far as being willing to kiss her. all of this is obviously in jest but that is the key issue here. to katelyn it is a joke,, nothing serious. she appears to be much more comfortable with the idea of romance and intimacy than having a genuine and raw connection with someone.

in this episode once zianna is told this lie by katelyn she encourages katelyn and aphmau to kiss. aphmau is flustered and is made even more distressed than she already is whilst katelyn immediately leans into it.

Katelyn: “Well, if you insist.”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 31

again all of this is casual but the fact that she gives less than a second of thought before agreeing to this clearly implies how lightly she takes the situation. it’s superficial at most. not in the way that she has no desire for intimacy but more so that she doesn’t view it with the same meaning and significance as someone else would. as a result,, this leads to her impulsivity.

this recklessness,, especially when it comes to romance,, comes to a climax when katelyn kisses travis in an attempt to prove a point to lucinda.

Katelyn: “Because he doesn’t deserve a kiss from you. Plus you’re terrible at kissing.”

Lucinda: “Excuse me but I am amazing at kissing… because I have a potion for that.”

Katelyn: “Pft let me show you how it’s done.”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 34

katelyn promptly kisses travis and doesn’t realise the implications of what’s she’s done until a good few seconds later. in response to travis reading the kiss as a declaration of love she immediately punches him and runs off,, denying any meaning behind the kiss. she doesn’t realise the implications of what she’s done until it’s laid out right in front of her.

a lot of her impulsive actions seem to be done to prove herself or a distraction from reality. when egged on to prove her confidence or superiority in some way she lunges at the opportunity. she doesn’t critically think about the effects this may have on others or the general aftermath. if it seems like fun to her she won’t hesitate to do it. this ties into her general lack of care for other’s feelings in these situations. when she pretends to be aphmau’s partner and when she kisses travis she causes both of them to be flustered,, clearly not thinking about how her words/actions affect those around her. although these instances are not severe she shows a pattern of disregarding people’s feelings. she isn’t self centred per say but her impulsiveness leads her to not register the severity of what’s she’s doing. not until it slaps in her the face.

4. intense and unstable relationships

“To split something means to divide it. Those with BPD tend to characterize themselves, other people, and situations in black and white.”

- healthline.com

splitting is when a person with bpd alternates between extremes of idealization or devaluation. the key part of this is the exaggerated and rapid change in perception of a person or situation. this usually applies to relationships,, causing the person with bpd to have a distorted view of their partner,, seeing them only in the best or worst possible light. sometimes this derives from projection,, pushing their negative view of themself onto their partner. this black and white can destroy relationships as the person with bpd is consumed by their distorted thinking whilst their partner is left in the dust.

katelyn exhibits this black and white thinking very clearly. she antagonises people like zane,, refusing to get to know him and disregarding any possible positives about him. in contrast,, she adores her friends like aphmau,, thinking only good of her and defending her at every chance. she clings onto quick-second first impressions of people and doesn’t let go even when she’s been proved wrong. very rarely does she feel neutral towards someone,, either loving them and showering them in praise or despising and only thinking the worst of them.

this is shown when aphmau asks her to be nicer to zane and she refuses to change her stance.

Katelyn: “Um.. I think you already know the answer to that. You know he and Jeffory don’t get along and Jeffory is my friend. So no.”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 15

even if she may not have a negative experience with someone personally if someone she trusts and values doesn’t like someone she will automatically share that same opinion.

this kind of black and white thinking doesn’t appear to massively negatively affect her relationships as she appears to have enough rationality to keep her thoughts to herself. however,, this awareness that good and bad can exist together in one seems to falter when it comes to her relationship with travis.

from the moment that katelyn meets travis her view of him is engulfed him in negativity

Katelyn: “I also bet you didn’t know what pain was until I-“

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 15

in their very first interaction katelyn punches him. without any thought or remorse she just hits him. however,, this first instance of abuse is somewhat understandable as he approached her by flirting which reasonably and justifiably upset her. travis is the one mainly in the wrong in this situation,, even if his flirting is mostly humorous.

what appears to anger katelyn specifically in this context is that nana appears to be ignorant to travis’s inappropriate behaviour.

Nana: “Katelyn-sama that’s not nice. Travis has a broken heart and needs more chocolate!”

Katelyn: “How blind are you Kawaii~Chan? He’s just trying to smooth talk you!”

this passive reaction to travis’s behaviour is a pattern throughout the series. no one particularly appears to have a problem with his comments or flirting. but katelyn does. everyone else doesn’t feel uncomfortable around travis and her friends expect her to feel the same. her discomfort around travis is undermined and minimised again and again,, played off as a joke.

an instance of this is when in an attempt to distract katelyn,, lucinda teleports travis into her home.

Travis: “Oh- what the- where am I? I was just about to take a shower and… heyyy Katelyn.”

Katelyn: “What the- Travis?! Lucinda you said….”

Lucinda: “I said I wasn’t going to use any spells on you. You said nothing about a teleportation spell. Oh, and don’t bother to smack Travis I put a temporary spell on him to prevent physical injury.”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 28

this is presented as lighthearted fun between katelyn and lucinda. just another instance of two friends trying to annoy each other. very clearly,, katelyn wants nothing to do with travis,, even despising his presence but she is forced into the same room as him repeatedly whilst all her friends laugh at her. it’s no surprise that she reacts with violence.

this is in no way to excuse her actions but her abuse towards him grows more and more extreme because she’s being constantly taunted by those around her. her own friends push her buttons with no regard for how she feels and treat her like a rag-doll. both travis and her have been pushed onto a stage,, all eyes on them and forced to play caricatures of themselves. the only difference is that whilst travis appears to live off the attention katelyn cracks under it. she smashes to the ground and shatters into a million different pieces. and they all aim towards travis.

where katelyn’s behaviour veers off from being simply weirded out by travis to physical assault and abuse is when she starts taking out all her of anger on him and him only. it goes from her only hitting him when he flirts with her to when he even utters a word.

this is why her behaviour is so toxic because it seems she begins to want to hurt him for merely existing. she already has a history of allowing this black and white thinking to harm those around her,, even those she cares about,, and her own self-destruction turns into destruction of others. too blinded by her own anguish and suffering,, she doesn’t realise her wrongs and that she’s hurting people.

why she likely doesn’t see her mistakes is because she’s been told all her life that she’s dramatic and overreacts. as i said previously the mystreet cast brushes off travis’s harassment and pushes katelyn to be in situations with him. despite what her friends say,, she doesn’t believe that she’s in the wrong to be suspicious of him and stands her ground. but that doesn’t mean their words don’t affect her. her friends’ lack of understanding worsens katelyn’s mental state as she feels misunderstood by her own friends. this leads her to grow suspicious of them and ignore them. at every turn she’s told that’s she overly aggressive and no one attempts to even comfort her or try to understand why she doesn’t like travis.

on one occasion when she displays this distrust she is only met with mockery.

Lucinda: “I assure you it wasn’t any potion I used.”

Mystreet Season 1: Episode 25

on the surface this may not appear that malicious but it’s the fact that this isn’t the first time someone has brushed off katelyn’s concerns is what likely pushed her over the edge. cutting back to when travis first moved in nana does not listen to katelyn and defends him.

Nana: “Katelyn-sama that’s not nice. Travis has a broken heart and needs more chocolate!”

Mystreet Season 1: Episode 15

but despite her seeming hatred for travis katelyn is revealed to actually like him. sprinkled through season 1 and 2 katelyn is shown to have some sweet,, soft moments with travis; moments where her perception alters and it appears that she tolerates at him and at times is even… fond of him.

this is called splitting.

this flip-flopping between hating and loving travis is not due to her discomfort being an ‘act’ or her being ‘dramatic’ instead it is as a result of her own distorted thinking. most of the time she only views travis in absolute negativity and disgust. even when she appears to tolerate to him she treats him coldly and considers him with suspicion.

Travis: “H-Hey Katelyn, these flowers are for you.”

Katelyn: “Oh… thanks.”

Travis: “Y-You looks beautiful….”

Katelyn: “What’s wrong with you?!”

Travis: “Why, can’t a guy be nice?”

Katelyn: “No suggestive remarks? No trying to get close with me? No looking at my butt?”

Mystreet Season 1: Episode 25

however,, as per the nature of splitting,, there are times where she thinks the complete opposite of him. during season two when travis suddenly appears katelyn initially regards him with a lot more care and kindness,, especially after shoving him off from atop a building.

Katelyn: “Travis, you really worried me.”

Mystreet Season 2: Episode 7

this drastic change is a clear indication of splitting and its effects. in a very short amount of time katelyn goes from completely despising him to seemingly harbouring romantic feelings for him. this juxtaposition only confuses travis and worsens their relationship as katelyn continues to stick to her black and white view of him,, without any communication.

this all comes to a climax at the end of season two where travis finally confronts katelyn for her mistreatment of him. travis admits his own faults and puts out a hand to katelyn,, asking for a fresh start between them. all that is left is for katelyn to own up to her mistakes too.

Conclusion

do i think all of this was intentional? no. do i think it’s a justification or excuse for katelyn’s toxic and abuse behaviour? definitely no. am i emotionally drained after writing all of this? yes

hope you enjoyed reading !

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theaquinn-misc · 1 year

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A-spec Lesbian

I decided to make my own list of things that have helped me realized I'm gay. Disclaimer: I'm not the arbiter of what makes someone an aspec lesbian, however if you experience some or most of these it's something to consider. Disclaimer 2: I've also not had a lot of experience dating so I can't include much of that here. This post will be divided in 3 sections: Men, Women and NBs and media

Men:

only crushing on "unavailable" men: married, in a relationship, much older, gay, fictional, celebrities

"crushing" on men and enjoying fantasizing about them, but not trying to flirt or even get close to them in any way

"crushing on a man" for a set period of time and then and thinking he's the hottest thing since sliced bread, but later (especially after a physical separation) finding him meh or cringey

fantasies about men having more to do with being happy and fulfilled in life and being seen as someone to be jealous of, not so much about the specific person

having a crush/attraction to a man only for him to return it and you realize that you feel uncomfortable

meeting a guy who is conventionally attractive and meets all your standards and telling yourself you are attracted to him but still feeling a weird pressure in your stomach/chest because "something is missing"

liking a guy, until he changes something minor about his appearance (shaves, does his hair differently) and then finding him basic/meh and losing all attraction to him

never understanding what women see in the men they date or like in media, at least looks-wise

finding even extremely conventionally attractive men to be kinda meh and thinking women attracted to men must be exaggerating how hot they find them

being uncomfortable when you find out a man has a crush on you and wanting him to stay away, but with women/nbs it's just a bit awkward and overall no big deal

having to force sexual and romantic fantasies for men and getting bored of them after a while

finding the most aesthetically attractive man in a group and deciding you are attracted to him (bonus points: being relieved when you find out he's taken/ and/or you could never date him for some reason)

being anxious or sad or bored when you imagine your life with a man

only wanting to date men if it's polyamorous (note: this is not to invalidate poly people, but if you can only imagine dating one gender ONLY if it's poly and having no issues to be monogamous with another gender... that might be something to look into)

getting sad/anxious/bored at the idea that your first boyfriend could be your forever partner. thinking "of course i want to experience life before I settle down"

wanting to dress sexy and reveal your body, but wanting to hide it when a man pays attention to you

Men expressing their attraction to men is more relatable than women expressing their attraction for men Women/ NBs:

finding only a few men aesthetically attractive but nearly every woman/queer/nb person (esp more femme ones) being gorgeous to you

wanting to impress and/or be liked by "special" women

going on dating apps and switching to "women only" even though you are (supposedly) bi/pan (note: some people may do this for safety reasons but if you can't even IMAGINE finding a guy off an app, even if you take all possible precautions, well...)

finding the fantasy of sharing your life with a woman/nb person far more rewarding and satisfying than the fantasy of doing those same things with a man

having some inkling of attraction to trans women pre-coming out, but suddenly thinking they are the most gorgeous people ever post knowing they are women(especially if they go on HRT),

really "admiring" masc/butch women and women who break gender roles (women in suits, women with defined muscles etc.)

thinking that everyone thinks women are more aesthetically attractive than men (hint: ask a gay man about this)

having deep feelings about a female actor, singer, teacher growing up etc. that feel special and unique

feeling guilty in locker rooms, not wanting to look at women too long

getting really excited at the idea of having a gf, or being a girl/nb person's gf/ partner but not feeling the same way about dating boys/men

wishing to be a lesbian because you think lesbians are cool and/or to avoid dating men

feeling uncomfortable feelings about the label lesbian, especially when applied to you (but not gay/queer/sapphic/wlw/nblw etc.)

not getting crushes on women IRL often because you're still aspec

getting crushes on fictional women, influencers, celebrities etc. Media:

never relating to m/f pairings even if they have bi/pan characters or the m/f relationships you see in media or around you.

shipping m/f, but thinking "that's cool for them, but I don't want that" (note: this might also have to with gender, if you're nb)

imagining yourself as the "man" in m/f ships never the woman

not relating to f/f ships with two thin conventionally feminine and usually white women (esp if you are fat, gnc, WoC, and/or are attracted to butch/masc women)

seeing posts about the attractiveness of men but relating them to m/m ships, not yourself

wanting every bi/pan character to be in a "gay" or at least, in a visibly queer relationship

only relating to m/f ships if they are more obviously queer. Like say, masc woman with a twink boyfriend (side note, I've never seen that, so if you have recs please send them my way)

only being able to get off on gay/lesbian porn, finding straight porn to be unsatisfying or boring or uncomfortable (note: porn is not a great way to determine sexualaity as most actresses are fetishized and fake prgasms, and most lesbian porn is not made for sapphics. but still) Things you are allowed to do as a lesbian/don't make you less gay:

Have m/f ships you feel strongly about

read/write m/f smut

relate to/write bi/pan characters

joke about liking celebrity men & fictional men

not be attracted to the women the lesbian community has decided are the hottest thing since sliced bread (Kristen Stewart is not everyone's type)

not be comfortable with certain sex acts or sex as a whole

#lesbian #asexual #aromantic #aromantic lesbian #asexual lesbian #aroace lesbian #questioning #am i a lesbian #terfs fuck off #questioning tag #mine #aspec lesbian #comphet

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lurking-latinist · 1 year

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*please* tell me about how Amy's story was an allegory for being a wilderness years fan. I am scooting my chair up (metaphorically) & taking notes because this sounds super interesting

Disclaimer that I'm not a fan of this generation myself and that I'm not claiming this is about Steven Moffat's experience specifically, as I know very little of his biography; just a possible fan's story, not specifically his.

This is mostly about The Eleventh Hour but I do think it explains a lot of what people sometimes find odd about Amy's characterization throughout; her relationship with the Doctor is partly the relationship of a person with another person, but just as much the relationship of a person with a story.

(Amy is high on the list of examples for my argument that the Doctor is not so much a protagonist as a plot.)

---

You're a child when you meet the Doctor, and you're never quite the same afterwards.

You're already kind of a weird little kid, out of place, out of sync, and maybe sometimes the other kids let you know that. But the Doctor's weird too and he's a hero. He's your hero. He makes you feel like you might belong somewhere someday.

And then he doesn't come back.

You don't give up on him. You draw pictures and write stories about him and make your friends play out his adventures. Your other interests (ancient Rome!) end up having something to do with him. But no one else cares about him anymore; no one else thinks he's coming back. You're too old to be this attached to something from your childhood, they tell you.

And then he does come back. Once, briefly, not nearly enough. He disappoints you in some ways; maybe that was inevitable. But he's still the Doctor.

You're able to move on, sort of. You get engaged, start to build a life. But you don't get over him. How could you? At this point he's basically helped define who you are as a person.

So when he comes back again, he doesn't leave you behind again. You're not letting that happen. You're going with him.

You're writing your own adventures.

#amy pond

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i-dreamed-i-had-a-son · 4 months

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Recently I've been reevaluating my queerness and what it means for me, and it's a really weird and kind of uncomfortable experience.

Everyone always says labels don't define you, they describe you--when your experience changes, the way you "identify" also can change to reflect that. But it's scary to think, "hey, the way I've understood myself and my experience is fundamentally shifting," and losing the sense of stability that comes with having a familiar word to reference.

Over the summer, I dated (!) a guy (!!!!!), which I never had seriously believed would happen--and I actually had romantic feelings for him. I'm pretty sure I felt that way before we were officially together, so I've also now had a crush. Can I describe the difference between that and what I've felt before? Not really, which is also confusing.

But a huge part of the way I've seen myself over the years has been as aromantic as well as asexual. I have an aro ring that I wear every day, along with my ace ring. Knowing what I could and couldn't experience helped me set realistic expectations for what I would be like in a relationship, and was an important part of how I saw my relationship with my QPP.

And now I'm like, well, can I develop romantic feelings for other people? Was this a one-time thing? Was my ability to do that contingent on the fact that it turned out he wasn't actually attracted to women (oh the irony) and therefore I felt utterly unthreatened by him? If I want to date other people, because I would like to be married someday, what am I supposed to tell them about how I function and what they can expect? What can I even expect?

It's overwhelming and so I haven't thought about it much. If I try to frame it positively, I can take some benefit from thinking romantic connection might be easier for me than I'd thought (as in, it turns out to be possible); but without that intentional shift in my thinking, I'm just left with a giant question mark as to what my future relationships will look like--which is bad, because if I don't know what I'm comfortable with in a relationship, I can't establish healthy boundaries. Maybe part of a relationship is experiencing those new things together and working it out as you go...but I also have trust issues and can't imagine conventionally dating someone (e.g. not establishing a strong friendship first) and being able to trust that they won't take advantage of me in some way.

And now even my familiar words don't feel quite right. I still think of myself as associated with aromanticism, but I no longer describe myself that way to other people--I'll generally say I'm queer and then explain a little more without using specific terms. And I know I'm ace, but it's less important to me than it used to be.

I thought feeling more "normal" would be a good thing; it actually just makes me feel weirder.

I'm just hoping that as I continue learning more about myself, I can accept whatever I find out. I want to embrace the uncertainty along the way. It's just hard. Ya know?

#kay can i just catch my breath for a second #queer #asexual #aromantic #ace #aro #my asexuality #my aromanticism

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from-izzy · 6 months

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that's him, that's just who he is | the boyz series introduction

"...and when I see him on my screen, no matter how things faded between us, I will always be able to put a smile on my face and tell them genuinely: that's him—that's the person who made a huge positive impact in my life. And when they ask back, "Really? How so?" I would simply shrug my shoulders and answer: that's just who he is—he's just capable of doing so."

» RELEASE DATE: as soon as possible! hopefully a week to a week and a half between each member! » WARNINGS (for this post—under 'keep reading' section): mentions of going through a tough time (not explicitly defined), healing and progress through the tough time (another warning will be mentioned if you do decide to read further! there is also a safe section after the gif) » WARNINGS (for the stories themselves): some have none, some do! but warnings according to the story will always be mentioned! navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series masterlist

ahhhh...where do i start?

i don't have a concrete idea/plan as to how this series is going to go yet. i don't have a story plan for each member yet either. all i have is the small indented idea and the sure idea that all the stories will be heavily inspired by each member's individual 'generation z' videos.

i'm pretty sure it will be a 'the boyz x reader' story series! currently, i'm settled with the idea that the reader is childhood/old friends with each member and they gradually drifted because life took them to different places. ultimately, the reader just looks back on their memories with each member. but, i don't think each story will be connected.

i was thinking of keeping a word limit of 2k for each story (we all know this isn't going to happen)

i chose the 'generation z' videos because i remember this being the videos that really 'pushed me' to stanning tbz. i've never seen these kinds of videos where idols talk openly about their feelings and i thought 'wait! i could implement this into a story!'

TRIGGER WARNING (safe after gif): mentions of going through a tough time (not explicitly defined), healing and progress through the tough time

addressing the 'personal healing project' part: i haven't been able to watch full videos and fully finish listening tbz related since august 11, 2023. today marks the 80th day that i've been stuck in the past and my own feelings.

long story short, something happened in my life and i had tbz content around me when the event occurred. unfortunately with tbz being there when it unfolded, everytime a song comes on or i see a picture of them, network of associations links me back to the event.

so i stopped listening, unfollowed tbz and all fan accounts specifically on instagram.

but thankfully for me...

i'm still able to write stories

i have seen improvement: able to see old pictures (day 18), unconsciously sung merry bad ending (day 26), consciously hummed lip gloss (day 37), finished up to the end of closer's second verse but backed out after (day 54), able to talk about tbz (day 66) etc.

it's been a hard journey but i have hope.

like changmin said in his 'generation z' video: still, i have hope. without hope, i don't think i can survive.

plus...i know that i still love and look up to the boyz so much.

because even though exposure therapy may still be too much for me now, the fact that time has done its work bit by bit, and i'm able to somewhat look at pictures of them, it means that i am healing.

this series...

is one of the topics that i wanted to 'experiment' with that i talked about in my about me page.

'generation z' pushed me into really stanning tbz and i just hope (and i hope endlessly) that maybe by going back to this video and implementing it to something i love (writing stories), that i'll be able to heal further.

tbz are having a comeback nov 20th! 🎉 i might not be able to follow them this comeback but please give them lots support!

as for this series...will you come along with me?

it's my first ever series ever since i started writing! i am so, very much excited!

i'll see you all soon!

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series masterlist

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

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transmutationisms · 9 months

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can you really chose to engage with a moralizing force without the values of that force having an effect on your decision? conversion therapy is an easier example to talk about because its more commonly understood as normative more than anything else (how could one choose conversion therapy without that normative pressure?). but honestly i think this is a feature of advice in general

totally fair question & for the record, this is a huge part of the reason i have more or less taken myself 'off the psychiatric grid' so to speak lol. there are basically two main reasons i'm still cautious about making a blanket judgment about the potential for therapy / other interventions to ever be useful as anything other than a normalising / moralising force.

first, it's just hard to sweep all of these things into one category with comparable consequences. even if we stick to 'drugs prescribed by a psychiatrist that you take on your own time at home', there's a world of difference between, say, stimulants and antipsychotics. both are prescribed because the psych is trying to make you 'normal' and 'functional' (able to work, compliant, &c) but stimulants are, like, fun, and for most people and usage patterns are relatively safe. i know lots of people who get them prescribed and then use them to various non-sanctioned ends; i have also done that extensively and have zero regrets. antipsychotics, on the other hand, come with a raft of incredibly harmful effects and long-term health damage, and don't even produce any kind of comparable pleasurable state. it's hard to imagine anyone actually freely choosing antipsychotics in a situation where they genuinely have no social or economic pressure to do so, and are given full knowledge of the risks they're taking on. like, it's hard to come up with literally any reason for these drugs to exist, or be prescribed or taken, besides violent efforts to make people 'act normal' and be employable and obedient. i think the analysis here always has to take into account these types of specificities—and again, all of this is still limited to the relatively optimistic case in which someone is prescribed a drug and is taking it at home, on their own time; a situation where someone is being eg forcibly injected in an institutional setting calls for a different analysis, and obviously psychiatry has lots of other methods of coercion and force at its disposal. when it comes to placing eg talk therapy into this sort of framework, it's also tricky because i do think this depends heavily on the individual practitioner. like, you raise a fair point that "person who gives you advice and guidance on your life and problems" is a position that inherently involves moralising elements—i think that's right. i guess my hesitation here is like, is there any possibility for a situation in which, in a radically transformed social context, certain talk therapy methods could be removed from the imbalanced doctor-patient relationship; used by choice of the suffering person; and aimed not at achieving a socially-defined state of 'normality' but as a way of giving both the person and their social support network the tools and communication base to live in whatever way the individual defines as best for them? it is possible that at this point i'm getting so speculative that this is not even a useful answer to the question!

second, and this is related to what i'm getting at in the last few sentences, i'm kind of working here off a comparison to any other medical speciality. medicine generally has immense power to do harm, & is frequently deployed explicitly as a way of defining, moralising, and enforcing 'biological normality' (canguilhem &c &c). yet, at the same time, it is true that people experience pain and disease and so forth, and that i firmly believe everyone should have free and full access to what health care exists to treat such problems. the challenge here is how we as communists ruthlessly critique the existing power structures and transform the provision of health care into a way of actually caring for people, prioritising their autonomy and their values for how they live their own lives, as opposed to enforcing a notion of 'good' bodies as a method of population management. i don't mean to suggest that there's no difference between psychiatry and other medical specialties; there is. yet it is also true that affective suffering is real, and although i think much of it is worsened or directly caused by living in a world that actively saps human life-activity for the sake of reproducing capital, i also think that in a full communist utopia people would still experience mental pain and distress sometimes. my position here is that we need to 1) ruthlessly criticise psychiatry and psychiatric care as it currently exists, 2) determine which—if any!—of its tools and methods can be radically transformed into ways of actually caring for one another, without force or coercion or the imposition of externally defined and moralised ideals, and 3) either way, find ways to ensure we are capable of providing care for one another when we are in need and want it. i am not sure whether something that looks like talk therapy will ever be part of this, and my sense is that, if it were, a lot of this work would become something that friends and social supports are capable of engaging in (it is a leetle fucked up imo that we currently offload this onto a provider–client relationship! like, that says a lot about the world). again, though, i don't think any such care is actually 'care' as long as it's aimed at enforcing an external standard of normalcy, functionality, profitability, &c. what i'm interested in is how we ensure that people are able to define their own happiness and flourishing, and how, given that human life is social and collaborative, those around them can be (when wanted) part of a person's effort to live their best possible and most preferred life.

sorry if this is just a really waffling answer lmao. i guess the tl;dr is: yeah i also worry about this and i don't know!

#psychiatry

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 1 year

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hi,

is it possible to orgasm just from your hands/fingers? every time i try it doesn’t feel like anything.. as if im trying to tickle myself. i don’t want to get a vibrator ‘cause im scared ill become reliant on it :( sometimes i feel bad cause people my age are making themselves finish. i think im broken. any tips will help.. thank u

hi anon,

in my heart of hearts I have to assume you already know the answer to the first question. humans have been jacking it for longer than we've even been humans, because even monkey brains know that touch genital feel good. there's evidence to suggest that human fetuses may begin touching their genitals for fun in utero, and tons of animals also masturbate - even these cute little guys!

and you know his rodent ass doesn't have a vibrator.

all of which is to say that the urge to crank it is a powerful and ancient one, and I simply can't believe that you believe that nobody was actually managing to nut until the vibrator was invented in the late 19th century (although that was, admittedly, hardly the first sex toy; there are dildos that are thousands of years old that can attest to that). I suspect the question really bothering you here isn't whether a hands-only orgasm is possible (obviously yes), but whether there's something wrong with you for not having been able to achieve such a thing.

the answer to that is obviously no; I can happily confirm right off the bat that you're not broken on the basis of your sexual function because that's not how that works. there's no singular mode of human sexuality that's the "normal" one that people should be afraid to stray too far away from; what's "normal" varies from person to person, frequently from day to day. what matters isn't being like other people, it's ensuring that you feel safe and comfortable in your own specific relationship with sex.

it seems that you're not at the moment, because of this orgasm insecurity, so I want to talk about that. first off: if your hands aren't cutting it, why not get a vibrator? you say you're scared of becoming reliant on it, but what's the alternative? never coming ever? bullshit. my brain chemistry doesn't naturally balance itself out very well, so I'm reliant on lexapro to be a functional fucking person. that shit's great. being reliant on things that categorically and harmlessly improves your quality of life rules, everybody should do it.

listen, man. everyone has different sexual needs. for some people, it's the intensity and consistency that can only be provided by a battery-powered assistant. I cannot tell you how many people have come to me expressing despair that they can't finish with a partner without also using a sex toy, as if that's not a totally fine thing to need or want. just use a vibrator it's literally fine it does not matter. we're all living on a melting rock ruled by capitalism, just use a vibrator if you want to and if your partner has a problem with it find a better partner.

also. hey. look at me. listen to me. an orgasm does not need to be the single defining factor of whether you're having a good and healthy sexual experience. go read this. I know you're not orgasming when you masturbate, but are you, like, enjoying yourself? does it feel good? because that's really the only thing that matters, and I want you to keep that in mind no matter what you decide to do next in your sexual journey. the point is to have fun, not to reliably produce an orgasm like clockwork.

anyway. you're not broken. get a vibrator if you want; I recommend this one for beginners. stop comparing yourself to others and be kind to yourself.

#sex edventures 2023

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frontierpodiatrist · 8 months

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arven/nemona hc rambling (mostly arven)

back at it again with my "deep in the blorbo pit" (tag someone left on another post of mine; thought it was really funny) type posts about arven and nemona's parallels (and then in comparison to the rest of the quartet) and more about their relationships to their parental figures

i have a sort of fondness for transfem arven hcs, though i have very specific arven hcs and interpretations specific to violet-verse, and parallels with nemona i was thinking about earlier that i want to talk about

smth which i see in a lot of ppl's arven timeskip designs is that he has facial hair, something that i firmly disagree with...bc i feel like he wouldn't want to look like turo. he's already very resembling of him, which after his death, i'm sure would haunt him anytime he looked at himself in the mirror, lending to a sort of disconnect and self-esteem issues about his appearance. i feel like in violet-verse, arven would have a lot of hang-ups about traditional masculinity. turo is very traditionally masculine in appearance, in the behaviour that we witness though perhaps not purposefully (being aloof, uncaring, strict, arrogant, powerful, etc.), and arven has very strong and negative complex feelings towards his parent that abandoned him and he was previously led to believe didn't care about him. even after coming to terms with a narrative that clashes with his own, i feel like this wouldn't necessarily dissipate my personal hc is that juliana is the protagonist, bc i find the juxtaposition of arven being the only boy in the group interesting, especially in violet-verse where he has such negative associations with the only man he really knows (outside of saguaro, who is more "effeminate" in his likes and actions, and is insecure about, something i'm sure imprinted on arven). and i also find it interesting IRT his relationship with penny especially, who i strongly id as transfem herself. while he is most friendly/comfortable with juliana, due to her being a stranger unaware of his father when she arrives, he relates the most to penny on a number of factors. in this disconnect you could interpret that he has with masculinity, or male figures in his life, hearing about her father and her experience would probably be very interesting to him i feel like it's pretty heavily implied arven has identity issues because of his parent's (in this case his father's) reputation overshadowing anything about him as an individual, to the point he feels he needs to become famous of his own accord to wipe away their influence on how people see him. he doesn't really have anything he considers his own, or defining him, up until postgame when he finally settles upon cooking, though previously he thought it only a hobby. if you interpret his relationship with saguaro as very close, it's possible this is him emulating the only adult in his life really that he feels a connection with, as well. i also hc that turo was disillusioned with people, the Robot Autism and disillusioned with being human which is why he was obsessed with the future and the idea of "surpassing humanity" -> passed onto arven who struggles with his own identity as a result That being said, IRT his disconnection to gender as well, arven feels very...big brother-ly (especially in japanese) or mom friend-y, as well as cutesy and having a very strangely cute but also weird way of talking in japanese that is sort of conveyed in english. i feel like arven has a lot of hang-ups on parenting, and family. he feels like the type of person who would want a family, or kids in the future, but that due to his upbringing would struggle with the idea of being a "father", or a "mother" for that matter. but then has anxiety about being a parent at all, or the idea of a traditional family unit. aside from saguaro (who appears very "masculine" like turo, but in personality, is the complete opposite), all of arven's friends are girls. his entire support network now, is mostly girls, the only ones he feels are there for him. growing up all he had was his turbulent father, leading to some sort of complex of boys = bad, girls = good Now, about Nemona.

i'm sure anyone who likes nemona knows the whole nemo = nobody thing, etc. i think it's fairly obvious as well, that she struggles to find an identity outside of battling. unlike arven, her family isn't the only thing to her, but it's as if they were never really there at all. but you know who was? geeta. she follows geeta's advice and beliefs almost exactly, never acting outside of them because she seems so desperate for her approval and acknowledgement, because geeta is in her mind the only person who has ever validated her existence or given her something to work for. even a lot of her personality feels like it was mapped onto geeta, she will remind herself mid-battle how geeta ought to act, how a "champion" ought to act, and model that she's student council president, she's a champion, she's got great grades, she's an overachiever—and geeta is chairwoman of both the "school" and the "league", two things nemona has both, in the eyes of others, conquered. much like arven, i feel that without battling, without geeta's influence, nemona might not have much of a sense of self either, mapping pretty much all of her identity onto hers

in a sort of strange turn of events (aside from the protagonist, who is essentially a blank slate), it feels as if penny has the strongest sense of identity b/w the four of them, she knows what she wants, she has friends and a social circle outside of this group, she carved an identity for herself, she doesn't seem to imprint or map onto any particular adult or person other than herself. and in a way, you might be able to map this to the fact that unlike the other two, she had a loving and guiding parent to help her form her own identity (even in spite of all the bullying and other things she went through), where the other two did not. she had a support network

#pokemon arven #pokemon nemona #pokemon geeta #professor turo #pokemon penny #champion geeta #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon headcanons #arven pokemon #nemona pokemon #deep in the blorbo post indeed.....

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