i’ve never loved anything in my life as a footnote.
music? i listen to it everyday just to never be alone with my thoughts. i memorize the chords and the artists name, why they wrote the song and how they connect to it. i psychoanalyse every lyric, i research the producer and what they have spoken about the song and why they chose to go for that beat. i listen to the live version and pay attention to the singers voice and how they enunciate every word their feeling etched into each delivery. i have music tattooed on my heart.
books? i live in them. i emerge myself in the fantasies of others savoring the stories of characters i’ll never personally know. i live in the little fantasies annotating words that make me feel what no human could ever. i make pinterest boards, spotify playlists, even posters, as a way to show my love for them. i rave about it to my friends and still sit in wonder at the end of the day at how words on paper can make me feel alive, can bring me new emotions i’m still yet discovering.
movies? they’re my religion, another form of escape from this world. i watch actors play a part bringing it to life the same way i do in my day to day fantasies. i watch the story evolve and how the director find ways to tell it in 1-3 hours. months of work finally coming together to make the final product. i delve into the actors lives, the set team, hoping ill be able to fill the void set there the second the screen turned black.
i log everything i do.
i watched a movie? letterboxd. i read a book? goodreads. i listened to an album? aoty.
everything i love, everyone i love, will always be important to me. i make a list of thing in my notes app i know you love, your little habits, the color of your eyes when you look at the sun for too long, because i cant afford to not love. i fear my time on earth to be wasted by not giving everything my all. i memorize lines from poetry that make me feel seen, i put posters on my wall for the art i appreciate, i decorate my room in my favorite color just to make the point clear that i love it. ill hug you a dozen times a day and make sure you feel alright. because sometimes loving everything and everyone else more than yourself is easier maybe im scared that if i take away everything i love i wont be sure about who i am. in the dead of night when im alone with my thoughts, without a book in my hand, or headphones blasting music, who am i? the song has ended but the melodies continue, in my head they go round making no space for the thoughts i’m afraid will creep in.
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WHEN THE GASTER IS COZY
BOTTOM TEXT
fun facts as usual
His sweater is a poison-type themed pokémon sweater that Alphys got for him on giftmas. He just likes it because he thinks the pattern is neat. He does not know what pokémon is.
He’s better at working alone than with people, but won’t complain if he needs to, he’ll just not be the best at communication.
He supports his children as much as he physically can.
He used to have a bad habit of smoking, however he now instead blows bubbles when he’s stressed and needs a break. Sometimes he needs to be reminded that he’s trying to quit smoking.
He often checks on Chara and Frisk to make sure there’s no severe complications with each only having half a soul, and to make sure the flowers growing from Chara aren’t causing too much issue.
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omg link to the ybc joe playlist????
WELL FRIEND i have many ybc playlists and im going to use this ask as an excuse to share all the ones that are public because i am actually so proud of most of them !
the way i do playlists especially character playlists that are connected thru shared canon is pretty specific. track order always matters, every playlist starts with an instrumental track that sets the tone, and that tone will change as the playlist progresses. different characters will favor different genres, some more heavily than others, but there are intentional shared artists across the different playlists to emphasize shared connection (i.e., ybc pete's playlist is going to share an artist with ybc joe, ybc andy, and ybc patrick, all separately). character playlists are constructed thru the lens of focusing on a genre or a couple different genres and then adding songs that lyrically encapsulate the character's whole Deal, tho not necessarily chronologically.
all playlists featured here are an even 50 songs, which puts them at around the 3 hour mark. generally speaking there won't be more than 2 songs by any one artist, but there will be at least one SRAR track.
i have Lots of these but these are the ones that are public and that i'd mostly consider done (plus or minus some tweaking down the line cause i'm picky lol) so these are the ones i'm sharing.
YBC ANDY: lots of metal, hardcore, hard rock, prog-rock, etc. very high energy but focuses on themes of helplessness in the face of adversity, emotional repression, and self-neglect in the name of group cohesion.
YBC PETE: blend of pop, alt-rock, pop rock, hip-hop, and melodic dubstep. discusses themes of betrayal, loss, and deception but with an edge of gritty determination to turn things around.
YBC JOE: all flavors of rock - classic rock, alt-rock, pop rock, punk rock, metal-rock fusion, but with a sprinkling of morbid acoustics. concentrates on themes of self-loathing, unbelonging, uncertainty, and fear.
YBC PATRICK: eclectic mix per the character's innate duality. starts with folk-adjacent indie tunes before swinging into harsher metal and punk/hardcore, dipping into jittery electronica, then deranged, bouncy pop. evens out into quieter, more introspective acoustics. themes of duality, guilt, and wrestling with one's internal demons.
THE VIXENS: this one is basically all girlboss bops. it mmmostly favors pop and riot grrl type rock but honestly it's got a lot of variations on the general theme of "i want to kill men"
THE DEFENDERS OF THE FAITH: combines the disparate styles of the four guys into one conjoined playlist. focuses on hope and unity.
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