#i mean im pissed at them too because they were not including me today which is like. stake to the heart | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sunarinluvr · 3 years

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|| haikyuu boys finding you asleep on the couch after an argument ||

includes: kuroo tetsurou, miya osamu, & oikawa tooru

a/n- hello! sorry for posting so late, but this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and i was actually in the mood to finish it so i hope yall enjoy! oh and im not really sure about how i feel about it,,, might take it down later we shall see.

warnings: none ( lmk if there’s anything! )

KUROO -

last night you saw a post kuroo’s “work wife” had made on instagram with her kissing him on the cheek, and it didn’t make you feel the best, so you decided to bring it up to him the next morning. and you did, just as he was getting ready for work you talked to him about it.

you were standing in front of him filled with anger arguing about how it made you uncomfortable, “can you please listen?! i dont feel comfortable with your “work wife” kissing you?” you yelled. “Y/N it was on the cheek its not a big deal!” and to be honest you just wanted to cry.

finally, he walked past you and opened the door. “i don’t have time for this y/n, stop being so insecure! at least she wouldn’t argue over something so small!” and with that, he slammed the door and you stood there stunned. kuroo knew that he shouldn’t have said that, instant regret and guilt filled his gut.

but he already said it, he can’t do anything about it now. with a frustrated sigh, he went to work. hoping to fix everything when he gets home. you stood there speechless, as you realized you still had work so slowly you made your way to the bathroom.

after getting ready and grabbing a quick snack you were out the door with a heavy chest. once you get home, tired and feeling worse than before. you trudged to the couch and plopped down letting out a shaky sigh remembering the argument and the words he said repeating in your head.

you broke down crying, and before you knew it, the exhaustion from today took over and you were sound asleep on the couch. kuroo got home an hour later, he felt guilty and was already practicing how he’d apologize to you as he walked in.“y/n? kitten?” no answer.

he called out again, and was met with silence, he made his way over to the living room where he found you sleeping on the couch. gently walking towards you he knelt down, and saw your tear-stained face which made his heart sink. “i fucked up” he said to himself.

giving you a gentle kiss on your forehead he softly apologized and carried you to the bedroom. you ended up waking up when you felt his body weight dent the bed. “tetsu?” you said softly squinting at him. relief rushes through his body at the sound of his nickname. looking at you with guilt in his eyes

“im so sorry kitten, i shouldn’t have said that. i didn’t mean to hurt you” he said gently. at that tears started flowing again and he was quick to hug you and wipe your tears with his other hand. “it’s ok, i shouldn’t have been so insecure anyways”

he shook his head with a frown “no it’s not your fault ok? i didn’t mean anything i said. i love you so so much and i’m so lucky that you’re mine” you look up at him and gave him a small smile “okay” before cuddling closer to him. giving you a soft kiss on the lips he hugged you tighter as you both fell asleep.

OSAMU -

osamu was just having a horrible day, his head was pounding and the customers he had to deal with today were just plain rude. then he had to do most of the work since one of his employees called in sick, and for some reason, everything just annoyed him.

you on the other hand did not know about his day at all and thought it would be nice of you to make a surprise visit. walking in with a huge smile on your face stopping midway when you realize he wasn’t at the counter. “where’s samu?” you asked sweetly to the employee

“he’s in the back, i think he has a headache,” she says giving you a small smile. you can tell something was off by the way she spoke but decided to just brush it off and make your way to the back. “hi samu! surprise!” you exclaimed cheerfully as you make your way towards him

he just kind of looks at you, which you thought was weird, but you decided to hug him anyways. when he doesn’t hug you back and groan, you pull away and look at him “baby i heard you had a headache. i didn’t bring any medicine, but we could eat first and i-”

you couldn’t even finish your sentence since osamu just stood up. he was infuriated and had no clue why, usually loved listening to you but today he was just annoyed. “look y/n a don’t mean ta be rude, but a don't have the energy for this right now. please just go home.” he said coldly staring right at you.

“excuse me? i came here to surprise you and this is what i get??” you said in shock, voice a little louder this time. rolling his eyes “Oh wow am so surprised! now will ya please go home? a don’t wanna argue right now!” he yelled. with tears forming in your eyes you quickly wiped them and left. osamu knew he shouldn’t have said all that, but he was too mad to run after you in front of all the customers.

you rushed home and sluggishly made your way to your room to change into something comfier, making your way to the couch, curling up into a ball allowing your tears to fall, and somehow falling asleep, after getting tired of crying. he gets home a few hours later, guilt building up in his stomach as he mentally slaps himself for the things he said.

walking into the living room he opened the lights and you were the first thing he noticed. seeing you curled up into a ball on the couch made his heart drop to his stomach. you on the other hand woke up because of the sudden change of lighting.

gradually adjusting your sight you see him and switch your gaze onto the floor when you saw him look at you too. seeing your puffy eyes he walks towards you slowly and sits beside you giving you enough space. “am sorry, a shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on ya.”

you look at him with watery eyes and his heart sinks “yea i was just trying to be nice, sorry i didn’t warn you before coming” he opened his arms and you instinctively scooted closer to him, he sighs “no a love it when you surprise me a was jus having a bad day a love ya so much ok?” finally hugging him “okay i love you too” giving you a quick kiss he offered to make you food and of course you said yes.

OIKAWA -

you love oikawa, and you’re very supportive and understanding especially when it comes to his career. but he has an awful habit of overworking himself and as much as you love him you can't bear the fact that you couldn’t even see him anymore.

he goes home late at night -as in you’re already sound asleep late- and when you do stay up to see him, he’s too tired to even keep a conversation. then the next morning he’s gone before you could even wake up. you’ve spoken to him about this many times, but alas nothing changed.

you woke up to an empty bed as usual, but today was different though, you’ve planned a dinner for about 2 weeks now. you were very excited because it’s been so long since you both spent some quality time together and he promised to come home early.

getting up you send him a little text reminding him of your dinner tonight, with a smile you head on over to the bathroom to get ready for work. once work was over you made a quick visit to the grocery store to buy the ingredients you’ll need to make tonight’s dinner.

quietly humming to yourself while going through each aisle, and double-checking your list to make sure you’re not missing anything while checking your phone here and there. oikawa still hasn’t replied “he must be busy,” you say to yourself as you send him another text about the dinner just in case. after about 30 minutes you get home rushing since it was already late, and immediately getting started on dinner.

once you're done you sat down and waited, and waited, and waited. it's been 4 hours. dinners cold and still no sign of your boyfriend. you decided to call him pissed off that he couldn’t even show up to one dinner, “hello? y/n i can't talk right now i still need to practice”

he said as soon as he picked up. “tooru? did you get my texts? what about dinner, we’ve made plans for this 2 weeks prior! i even-” you were cut off “look just eat without me ok? we can eat again somet-” now it was your turn to cut him off.

“oikawa tooru, you leave the house while i’m asleep and come back when i'm asleep. i just wanted to spend time with you..whatever good luck at practice,” you replied as you hang up. his heart sank when he heard the crack in your voice rushing to his car on his way home to you because he knows he fucked up.

buying your favorite flowers for you on the way home cursing himself and the world for making it traffic at that exact moment. when he got home the first thing he saw was the food and you fast asleep on the couch. he felt a pang of guilt about being late.

“y/n chan?” he said while gently waking you up. you stare at him with red puffy eyes and he hugged you giving you the flowers “im sorry baby, i should’ve prioritized you and our dinner. i promise ill do better” you saw how genuine he was being so you accepted the flowers and hugged him tighter as he offered to reheat the food you made.

reblogs are highly appreciated!

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oshicakes · 3 years

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their s/o being mistreated

pairings. azumane asahi x reader, ojiro aran x reader, futakuchi kenji x reader

genre. fluff?

warnings. bullying, cursing

Azumane Asahi

he got a free time so he decided to watch your practice game.

his forehead instantly knots as he noticed that you are wincing whenever you step your right foot.

you are badly injured and in great pain but the coach didn't let you have a break, instead the coach will let someone else from your teammates to have on.

they're not even cheering you, instead they'd glare at you whenever you score.

he's so frustrated that he doesn't know what to feel or to react. he was never a fan of confrontations but seeing you there, he just want to shout to your teammates.

his last string of patience broke when he saw one of your teammates purposely stepped on your right foot causing you to fall.

"Y/N!" he couldn't help to shout in shock and anger.

everyone stopped and became silent. he run to you when he saw that you can't get up. he abruptly carried you.

his frustration and anger doubled when he saw tears falling from your eyes.

he can't help but glare at everyone on the gym especially your teammate who stepped on your foot.

"do this again and i will report all of you to the principal. i don't care what will be the consequences are. this isn't how a team should be any way."

"senpai, please don't report us. promise, we won't do it again."

"you're just sorry because i saw it, but if i didn't you'll continue treating y/n badly. do this one more time then god may forgive me for what i will do to all of you."

after that he walked away while carrying you.

"asahi." you called him in a soft and calm voice, as if you were lulling him to sleep.

"ill take you to the infirmary, okay. im sorry i was late. i should've made you stop playing the moment i saw you in pain."

"why don't you quit that club?"

"i can't you know how much i love playing." "yeah, i know. but next time they did this to you, tell it to me immediately."

you nodded and thanked him. "by the way, you look hot when you're angry." you said and giggled.

Ojiro Aran

they had a five minutes break from practice. he had to refill his water bottle and decided to take a look on you in your club.

"but coach.."

"what y/n? do you have any objections with my decision?"

"i- no, coach." you heard giggles from your other club mates and whisper that's clearly about you. the coach then dismissed all of you.

most of your club mates exited the clubroom but the three of your club mate remains.

you bite your lip as you tried to stop your tears from falling.

"tsk. don't think highly of yourself just because aran's dating you!" after saying those words to you, they pushed your shoulder.

and aran saw it all along with his other teammates. he couldn't believe what he saw, he thought you were doing good at your club.

his fist and jaw clenched. he's beyond pissed and angry with your club mates and coach. "why did aran even dated you? tsk. stop clinging to aran and his teammates, you leech!" your club mate was about to hit you but aran was fast enough to run to you to stop them from hurting you.

they were shock when they saw aran. its as if their blood drained when they saw how fumming mad he is.

"why? who should i date then? you? and who do you think you are to decide who i should date or not?"

"what's so good about y/n anyway?"

instead of shutting up, they still have the guts to talk back and that pisses aran more.

"y/n's everything that you are not. my y/n won't stoop this low for a selfish reason. now give me a favor and go away. do this again and you'll have to face me and my teammates."

after that your club mates walked away but still glared at you before walking away. that just made shook your head.

aran pulled you close to him and squeezed your hands. "can you still wait for me? ill buy you ice cream to cheer you up."

you smiled at him. "thank you, aran. thank you so much."

he patted your head. "anything for you, y/n."

Futakuchi Kenji

your seniors have been a pain in the ass for a couple of weeks now. its not everyday though cuz there are times that theyre in a good disposition.

they'd make you do all the works, punish you even though you didn't do anything, make you run errands that isn't reated to the club and be mad without any reason.

you can't take it anymore so you speak up. "you know you're all being unreasonable. being senior to us doesn't mean that you have the rights to think highly of yourselve. were all students here."

"huh?! you dare to talk back to us now." he said then hit you with the paper he's holding. after that he grabbed your arm tightly and he looks at you as if he's trying to kill you.

all the seniors were around you now.

"does hurting y/n includes in your club activities?" and there you saw your boyfriend and towering behind your club mates.

he's omitting a dark aura around him which isn't a nice sign. your club mates feels like they were shrinking bacause of the way futakuchi looks at them.

"you know, i don't mind hitting somebody with a ball today. how about you aone?"

"i don't mind too." aone said.

the seniors gulped. "shit."

"mess with y/n again and you'll see hell. got that? now go the fck away." after saying those, he held your shoulder and guide you away from the clubroom.

"quit that club and become our manager." he flicked your forehead when he saw you

"but-"

"i won't let you go back to that club. you're better of without them. and you! they've been treating you like shit and you didn't even tell me?" both of his hands are now on his hips while aone is behind him nodding.

"okay, okay. i was going to quit anyway." you sighed and checked your arms if there's any bruise on it.

without saying a word, he pulled your hand and he scanned your arm for any bruises.

you stare at his serious face. you kiss his forehead since he needs to bend down his head to you.

that stopped him and looked at you. "thank you, kenji."

"tsk."

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #azumane asahi x reader #asahi x reader #asahi headcanons #ojiro aran x reader #aran x reader #aran headcanons #futakuchi kenji x reader #futakuchi x reader #futakuchi headcanons

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crybabyddl · 3 years

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I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO REITERATE SOMETHING

Yes, let’s circle back to the beautiful performance of Edge of Great. More specifically the BODY LANGUAGE, particularly Julie and Luke’s, which I will be analyzing with gifs.

Exhibit A

Jealous Luke looks over at Julie and Reggie vibing

Julie is aware that she’s avoiding Luke, which she is doing so bc she realized her feelings for him thanks to Flynn earlier in the episode.

Since Julie has put the task of ignoring Luke upon herself even though she has no obligation to, she ends up failing her own mission. She sees Luke’s reaction to the lack of her attention.

She literally FREEZES. She’s emotionally worried to confront what she’s feeling and it’s beginning to manifest physically.

Exhibit B

It gets better y’all. After Luke finally has even a crumb of Julie’s attention, he beckons her over with his signature head tilt. This is important bc he did this with his longtime bandmate during the soundcheck of what would’ve been their biggest performance. If he feels comfortable enough using that body language with a girl he’s only known for, what, a week and a half(?) then you know this puppy boy’s got it BAD.

Julie is well aware that Luke is getting jealous. But in classic Julie fashion, she will try to tune it out instead of addressing it. Our wicked beauty doesn’t like confrontation and would rather just deny and avoid than potentially make things awkward, especially when she knows Luke would ask her about it at a later time.

The look on Julie’s face. Her eyes widen and the classic tight-lipped awkward smile is present. She’s literally saying “ok enough of that let’s get back to work doo doo doo” with her face. The way her body SWINGS back into performance mode as she faces the audience again. It may have been a split second, but when you’re deliberately trying to avoid looking into the dreamy (dead) eyes of someone you shouldn’t be crushing on, any amount of time feels too long. Plus, she knows Flynn is watching and doesn’t want her to lecture her (but she does anyway bc Flynn is observant and knows her bestie too well to let any action slip past her).

Exhibit C

Keep in mind; NONE OF THE GUYS KNOW WHY JULIE IS AVOIDING LUKE. Flynn, Alex, and Reggie have noticed the Juke chemistry, but it’s still too soon for them to get past the “we like each other but we’re too clueless to notice that we reciprocate” phase, so even though their respective besties know, they are still denying. Besides, Reg, Alex, and Flynn know better than to keep pestering if they want to keep their kneecaps. In reality they’re both smart enough to tell by this point, but for the sake of the plot and to make everything more adorably frustrating, Flynn has the collective brain cell under lock and key, leaving Juke to be like *dog tilting its head and making that “a-roo?” noise*

Anyway, Reggie notices Luke being snubbed after realizing that his extra dose of Julie time was slightly out of the ordinary. Luke is clearly concerned (look at his eyebrows and how his eyes travel from Reggie, to Julie, then to the audience to trying and get his mind off it and bring his focus back to the main goal; the performance.) If he can’t have the moment of connection with Julie that he so desperately craves, he’s gonna fill that void as best he can by connecting with the audience. >:’)

But Reggie’s trying to help Luke brush it off by conveying his reaction as ‘look at julie coming into her own! i told you she was a star! and you thought you were the lead singer? think again buddy this girl’s got you beat!’

But since Reggie isnt a master at hiding his feelings yet, especially around Luke, —who was able to get under his skin earlier (“girls, am i right?”)—Luke was easily able to see through that and interpreted what Reggie was saying as “look at julie go, she all in the zone. you’re literally making heart eyes at her get a grip you’re slacking lmao” (hence luke’s right eyebrow quirking at reggie like ‘dude seriously gimme a break u know i need attention like tinkerbell’) even though Reggie’s true message was a bit less harsh and more lovingly teasing, but it’s Luke, he sees things through his eyes and at his intensity, regardless of who it’s coming from. (This is one of the reasons why Luke comes off as selfish at times.)

Exhibit D

Poor Lukey boi can’t seem to catch a break today! Not only does Julie ignore him, then has a cute lil (platonic but it’s luke so it still makes him jealous >:P) moment, but now she has the AUDACITY to interact with Alex? The guy who was out learning Ghost 101 with this Willie guy instead of rehearsing with the band? What gives?! What’s he got that your moody ghost bf doesn’t? >:’(

He literally just watches, and even glances back in a way that, to me, screams ‘did i see that right? did i just see what i just saw with my own dreamy (but dead) eyes? say sike rn.’ \_(*_*)_/

Meanwhile, Alex pays no mind. I like to think that Alex is fully aware that Luke is an angry boy rn, but has learned to ignore it, especially this bc literally NOTHING happened. Either that or Alex has no clue and just truly thinks nothing of it and is having too much fun to think about Luke’s moody and childish behavior. Either way, Alex is just straight chilling and we love to see it *^_^*

Notice how Reggie is right there vibing with Julie and Alex. Luke feels a bit betrayed like ‘not you too! i know you were the first to turn on me but i figured since you’re such a golden retriever you’d be loyal and come back to my side!😠🥲’

Also; Luke approaches the rest of the group, wanting to be included in at least SOME of the vibing, but when Julie starts dancing and smiling with her buddy Alex, he backs up like

“you know what? nope. nevermind. not doin’ it.”

and the group’s like “i mean hey it’s your loss, but luke we want you to-”

“no, bc you chose to piss me off right in front of my face so no luke time for any of you! no cuddles, no hugs, no nothing! you made your bed, now lie in it and perish.”

Exhibit E & F: This is where it gets a bit interesting and theorized hehe...

Now we all know that this moment is just fucking ICONIC

WEOWH NEOW NEOW!!! WEOW NEHR NEHR NER-NER-NER NEHR NEHR NEOWHR!!! (wer nehr-nehr-ner-ner-nehr-nehr!!) WUEHNER-NEUHNER-NEHR-NEEOW-NEOWH! DLOOLOODDUH-DOODLAH-HOOBLUEH-NEOWHR-NEUEHR-NEEEEEEUOWRH!!!!

But hear me out– HEAR ME OUT!

What if... now don’t shoot the messenger who just so happens to also be the theorist... but what if...

WHAT IF!!! Luke didn’t!! plan this?!!!

Listen i know you’re probably thinking:

“Well uh Nicole, isn’t that kinda the whole point? It literally wasn’t planned until Charlie realized Madi was gonna be standing on the piano so he suggested the idea for the guitar solo to Kenny.”

And you’re right! But here’s the kicker:

What if Luke THE CHARACTER, just decided to do this as an “Alright that’s it! You wanna be like that? Well what if I just hit you with my super awesome radical totally cool wowza guitar skills & make a moment between us? Huh? What do you think about that? Hmm? HMMM???!!!”

He licks his lips & that to me read** like he was nervous (**read rhyming with bed just to clarify) so that means it could’ve been a spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment thing.

In the second gif, you can see that Julie’s head is tilted, as if she’s a bit confused, but she’s also delightfully surprised.

Julie is quick to smile and scrunch her nose at Luke, something she does often. It tells Luke his impulsive action garnered a positive response from his favorite girl. Julie also starts to shake her head, but doesn’t go through the motion in full, which means she’s still a bit nervous to let her guard down. This is probably because she doesn’t know what he’s thinking or what he will do next. The lopsided smile mixed with the suave, gliding steps towards her probably brought her back to her daydream lol.

Luke’s happy bc Julie’s no longer ignoring him. He smiles like a GOOBER bc this chump is simping HARD for our Julie. So cute! :’)

Exhibit G

And hear me when I offer this:

What if Luke poofed the guys out???

I know, I know. It’s a bold claim to make. But the boys are special, considering they are a threat to Caleb (3 gay-variant himbos vs. a gay magician that could’ve been on broadway but decided to make some sort of deal with a devil so he just entertains capitalists who most likely sold their souls to get into the hgc which i will probably elaborate on in a future theory so dont do that bc im gonna lmao idc we all have big brains) So it’s not too crazy to think that they could share some ghost powers.

We know Caleb transported the guys during You Got Nothing to Lose. And the guys have left a place at the exact same time on more than one occasion.

And you may be thinking “well what if the guys poofed out to give juke a moment alone together?” And to that I say...

Look at Reggie. He isn’t looking back at Alex like “dude let’s give them some space.”

The timing of him turning around, at least to me, makes me think Reggie was surprised by Luke approaching the piano. (But also he lowkey was waiting for Luke to prove him wrong by doing something to get Julie’s attention so Reggie isn’t mad. Neither is Alex but he doesn’t like being told how or WHEN to ghost) Luke doesn’t even give his bandmates a warning eyebrow quirk, a hand signal, nothing. Reggie turns to Alex like ‘dude what is he DOING?’ And before he can even really convey that, they go *POOF*

This man had a plan and he was gonna do it, so he did. Whether it’s the power of love, they stopped performing, or Reggie and Alex actually poofed out, the odds worked in Luke’s favor so he and Julie could have a super special moment, a moment special enough to make an actual living person (Nick) wonder if a “hologram” has a better chance at connecting with Julie than he does.

Again, regardless of who made them poof or how they poofed, they mf poofed so Luke’s a happy hamster. (Idk it just sounded fitting instead of happy camper lol wait what if someone had 3 pet hamsters and named them alex reggie and luke🥺 someone buy some hamsters and let me be their godmother or their aunt and i’ll love them from afar.) Anyway, Luke’s thriving, flourishing, his crops are going to grow in time for the harvest.

You can see Julie lean back as she turns to see Luke. It’s... almost as if... She. Wasn’t. Expecting. Him. To. Be. There..??

Honey badger Luke bc he DGAF <|:) Bitch, it’s Luke mf Patterson and he’s gonna,, GET! IN! YOUR! FAAAACE!!!

You CANNOT tell me he’s not doing the absolute MOST to try and seduce Miss Juliana Mariposa Rose Molina.

Yes I’m making a headcanon that Julie has TWO middle names and that one of them is the spanish word for butterfly and that the other is her mother’s name. Also yes, I believe (i believe that we’re just one dream away from who we’re– oh, that’s not what we’re doing? okay, sorry!) that Juliana is Julie’s full name.

In this house we love and respect Juliana Mariposa (Dahlia)** Rose Molina

**I’m just putting Dahlia there for fun bc I can. :) Whether I’d consider it a possible middle name of hers depends. Anyway I just thought it was a cute thing to add bc it goes along with the other middle names I gave her *^_^* Also, I feel like I made a post giving a bunch of the characters middle names lemme see if I can find it later)

Ok i’m done this took me basically all day from like 10am until 4:08. I obviously took breaks in between, but not long ones...😶

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arhvste · 4 years

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can i maybe request some comfort hq’s w any of your favorite boys (but maybe throw in some oikawa) when their s/o doesn’t get invited to hang out w her friends but like all her friends are hanging out and they didn’t invite her so she just has to watch them all have fun on social media and stuff? totally not speaking from experience haha.. take your time if you’re busy! i love your writing so much 🥺✨💘💖

hi bby i love u a lot <3 ✨🐉🦋

OIKAWA, BOKUTO AND TSUKISHIMA COMFORTING LEFT OUT S/O

OIKAWA

you’re minding your own business at home in your room scrolling through instagram when your heart sinks

you see your friends have posted group photo they took today when they went out and failed to invite you

you felt silly being bothered by it but you couldn’t hep it

friends are meant to invite each other out not leave individual members out

while you’re staring at the picture, you’re interrupted by a facetime call from your boyfriend

you answer and see his smiling face on your screen

“hi y/n-chan i- wHATS WRONG?!”

he sees you’re not smiling back and he immediately knows somethings up

“its nothing tooru, don’t worry”

you give him a little reassuring smile and he frowns a little

so anyway you guys go about your call just talking as normal and you casually mention that your friends hung out without you

you can’t actually see oikawa’s face because he has you on pause and kept muting and unmuting by what you assumed was accident

rude

but you just assume he’s on his daily run because you can hear him doing so

you carry on telling him about how you’d been left out and just talking about it made you tear up a little

“i know it’s stupid, but i can't help but feel annoyed.”

as you’re explaining to tooru you hear a knock at your door

muttering a quick “hang on” to your boyfriend you go downstairs to see who’s at your door

you open the door to reveal your panting boyfriend with a bag containing, one of his favourite hoodies you like to borrow, his laptop, another bag of take out food and a bunch of sunflowers gripped under his arm

“sorry i took so long y/n-chan”

“tooru? what's all this?”

“as if im gonna let my pretty girl feel upset all by herself, come here”

he pulls you in for a tight hug and you let him inside where he unpacks the contents in the bags

the fact he did all of this for you make you want to tear up again

and you do just that

he pulls you back into his chest and wraps his arms around you

“what did i do to deserve you?”

“i should be asking you.”

you guys eat your take out, oikawa has a shower because he was lowkey sweating with all that running about, you pull on the jumper he brought round for you (he only took it back in the first place because you mentioned his smell wasn't as strong on it anymore)

you watch a few films before you both start to just lay there and cuddle

“come on, lets take cute photos!”

“why?”

“so we can show your stupid friends that you don’t need to be with them when you have me”

you guys take some immaculate pictures and upload them to your insta story where a ton of people are swiping up compliment how cute you both are

including a few of your friends who swooned over your boyfriend saying how they wished they had a boyfriend like tooru

oikawa looked at their messages and sneered

“ignore them it’ll piss them off”

he is so petty

but so are you fdshfghu

he’ll stay over for the night because he refuses to leave you until you’re totally over it

best boyfie

63/10 experience would die for this boy 😼

BOKUTO

bokuto is actually the one who points out that your friends are hanging out without you

you two have just left grabbing breakfast together when he sees your group walking and laughing together across the street

“hey y/n? aren't they your friends?”

“huh?”

you turn to look and you wish you hadn't

bokuto saw the drop in your face and suddenly felt sad too

“do you want me to say something?”

“don’t worry kou, it’s nothing”

you give him a weak smile and pull him back to your house

the walk back is quiet which is unusual for the two of you as usually you two never stop talking to each other

when you get back home you turn away from your boyfriend and wipe a few stray tears that you’d been holding back the whole time

bokuto notices and grabs you shoulder and turns you to face him

“oh y/n please don’t cry! shall we make a blanket fort? do you want to go out somewhere? shall i get akaashi to come over and we can plot muder against your friends?”

the boy isn’t used to seeing you upset

he’s used to seeing you so happy and cheerful around him because he always does his best to make sure you’re comfortable

you laugh dryly and smile at him

“no baby it’s fine, i just need to let it all out and i’ll be good”

he pulls you and and wraps his big arms around you as your sobs grow louder into his chest

“k-kou am i stupid for feeling like this? it’s not even that serious i just feel kinda betrayed they didn't even ask me you know? like this isn't even the first time -i”

you look up when you feel chest chest move and you sees HE’S got tears falling down his face too

“kou!! i know why i’m crying but why are YOU crying?”

“i-i don't know?? seeing you cry makes me cry??”

the two of you are laughing and sobbing together you forget why you were even sad in the first place

he picks you up bridal style and carried you over to the couch where the two of you proceed to just cuddle and enjoy each other’s presence

“hey, y/n you should hang with me and akaashi at lunch if you want”

“maybe...”

“come onnnn, if your so-called ‘friends’ don’t wanna hang with you, we most certainly do!”

he’s giving you his big toothy grin you can't say no to

“okay kou, i’ll start spending my lunches with you”

he doesn't even hide the fact he's excited lmao

“yES!! we get to spend even more time together now and everyones gonna see how cute we are together!”

bokuto just wants to make sure that wherever you are, he can make you smile and forget about all the bad things

so the fact you agree to spend your lunchtimes with him makes him ecstatic now that he knows he can make it his mission everyday to make you smile more

he won't ever leave you alone when you’re sad so you spend the rest of your day playing on your switch and making tiktoks together

because bokuto will always want you to feel like you’re having fun with him because it’s your smile that first caught his attention before you started dating

TSUKISHIMA

you and tsuki are at his house in his room together

both of you are going through your phones until your group chat starts spamming with photos and videos

your notifications are going off like crazy and its driving tsukishima mental

“since when were you popular?”

you glare at him as you open the messages and your face drops

your supposed friends were all sending videos and photos of each other into your group chat

they had all gone out and hadn't mentioned it to you

tsukishima glanced over to your phone and watched as you mindlessly tapped through the never ending stream of content

“i don’t know why you surround yourself with such loser’s y/n, i’d be embarrassed to send videos of my friends screaming like babies”

this made you smile ever so slightly

you’re not a mean person

but there's something about tsukishima’s snarky comments which make you feel better about the situation

tsuki has obviously noticed you were bothered about not being invited but he won't tell you he knows because it may trigger you to get upset

instead he pulls your back into his chest as the two of you lay in his bed together as he rests one of his arms on your side and the other over your shoulder

instead of being overly comforting, tsuki will encourage you to tap through the group chat but he’ll make a snarky comments for each picture or video

“ew she really left the house with confidence looking like that?”

“why has the girl on the right done her make up like that? did they go out for a day at the circus or something?”

“you can see the people in the background literally cringing, i can feel the second hand embarrassment through the screen”

the two of you sit there for a while laughing and making snide comments

tuski’s are way worse than yours because he literally doesn't know how to stop

after you finish tapping through everything, you set your phone down and smile at your boyfriend

“hey, thanks for that”

“for what? being myself”

“for making me laugh you idiot”

“i was being honest but okay then”

you’ll just lay there together in a comforting silence

“you know... you’re too good for them anyway, ditch them”

you hesitated before answering

“but, they're my friends? i can't just ditch them out of nowhere”

“they had no problem doing it to you”

harsh words

but he’s right

they didn't have a problem ditching you so maybe tsuki was right

“i don't mind doing a bit of charity work and letting you be with me at school”

“oh? how considerate of my boyfriend, the one who’s meant to love and be there for me unconditionally! you’re too kind!”

you both snicker at this before he presses a soft kiss to the top of your head

“go on, leave the group chat... if you’re bad 😈”

he gets lowkey excited watching you leave it he’s got a stupid little evil smirk

tsuki may seem like he enjoys conflict and malicious behaviour

but really he just wants to make sure you’re kept away from people who clearly don't value or deserve you

‘their loss’ he thinks to himself as he pulls you closer

#oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #oikawa x you #oikawa hcs #oikawa headcanons #bokuto koutaro #bokuto x reader #bokuto x you #bokuto hcs #bokuto headcanons #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x you #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima hcs #tsukishima headcanons #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu hcs

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rrickgrrimes8 · 3 years

Text

Come Clean ~ Dylan x bi!reader

*homophobia is NOT tolerated here at all so piss off if you are thanks ☺️*

This is it.

Today is the day I finally come clean about who I am. Well not fully come clean I still have to tell my parents after this which I kid you not will be a shit show. Today is the day I come out to my boyfriend Dylan.

Now I can hear you guys confused thoughts through the screen. Yes I have a boyfriend. No I am not a lesbian. No I am not straight. Now for the grand reveal... I'm bisexual. I like boys and girls and I'm insanely proud of that. You probably wouldn't think that knowing I haven't told anyone for the first 24 years of my life but I can assure you I am. I've dated girls in the past and I've dated boys. Just because I'm not out to my family and friends doesn't make me ashamed of who I am and who I like.

And the reason that I'm so scared of telling people is because I don't want to lose them. Which I know is something one I can't control and two I should assume that I would lose them if I told them but I know for sure that telling my parents wouldn't end well because let's just say they are massive homophobic assholes and I know that because when I was a freshman in highschool my mom caught me kissing my best friend who is also a girl. My mom immediately kicked her out and called for my dad. She and him were screaming hestrically. Ranting and raving all sorts of bullshit. One being 'im never going to have grandkids. Oh my god I'm never going to be a grandma' but that doesn't beat the beautiful - note the sarcasm - words of my father 'I can't believe I've raised a dyke daughter oh what a disappointment she is'. So let's just say I had a traumatic childhood. As soon as they finished there screaming I just decided it was better to tell them that I was straight and she came onto me then the truth of that I had a massive crush on her. They soon got over that and we never spoke about.

But enough about my parents the real thing I wanted to say is that I'm terrified of losing Dylan. I don't know if Dylan is like my parents - god I hope not - or if he'll support me.

We've been together for almost 3 years and you know the story. Boy meets girl. Girl spills coffee all over him causing him to get severely burned and sent to the hospital prompting girl to be incredibly sorry but boy found her hot and asked her out. You know the usual stuff.

"Hey baby you okay?" Dylan asked snapping me out of the trance I had no clue I was in. I turned to him quickly and looked upon his concerned face. "U-uh fine j-just thinking" I mumbled adjusting my position in Dylan's arms. "Thinking bout what?" He said wearing his insanely adorable smile. "Umm nothing. No one. Nothing" I stumbled over my words causing Dylan to cock his eyebrow at me.

"You sure gorgeous?" I nodded but almost instantly stopped myself. "No actually I'm not okay" I said changing my mind and suddenly finding a rush of courage. "Okay baby what's wrong?" His hand ran through my hair gently combing out the knots in there.

"W-we need to talk" I hummed. Dylan immediately stopped what he was doing and pulled his hand away. His face contorted into a look of sadness and fear. He thinks I'm going to break up with him. "A-about what?" He stuttered clearly anxious to know what I was going to say. When I pulled out of his arms and positioned myself facing him his eyes started to build up small tears but he refused to let them fall.

"A-are you b-breaking up with m-me?" His voice cracked as he spoke and his tears fell freely. "Oh my god no Dylan I'm not breaking up with you." I assured him. "But you might after I tell you this." I whispered to myself sadly and his fearful look left his beautiful face and he whipped his tears away but his face soon turned into a look of concern and worry.

"What is it baby?" He said softly moving his hand to my cheek. "U-um well I need to tell you something." "You can tell me anything" Said the man.

"Uhh well let's see um how can I- Uh I don't know how to" I rambled but was cut off by Dylan's deep chuckle. "Spit it out baby" he teased stroking my check. "I LIKE GIRLS!" I bellowed. The words slipping away from my tongue without my consent. Dylan's hand left my cheek leaving behind a cold feeling and missing of his warmth.

"Y-you like girls?" He questioned more then stated and I nodded my head closing my eyes wanting this moment to be over. He cleared his throat causing my eyes to shoot open. "W-what about me?" Dylan's voice shook slightly his fear of me breaking up with him took control.

"Oh shit" I mumbled under my breath moving onto his lap and straddling him. "I like girls a-and guys Dyl" He furrowed his eyebrows at me inquisitively. "I-I'm bisexual. Bi. The big old bisex as no one calls it" He laughed at my stupidity and I felt myself untense. His laugh calmed by of the scale anxiety filled nerves and I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding.

"So what's the big deal baby? Why are you so nervous?" His hand gently rubbed my knee in a way to comfort me. "W-well I-I was kinda scared that maybe just maybe that you'd you know" I said attempting to draw away from the subject knowing he'd just get hurt by it.

"I'd what (y/n)?" "B-break up with me" I spoke shyly and I could see Dylan's face fall. His eyes were consumed by hurt and new formed tears found there way to his cheeks. "Y-you thought I'd break up with you because you're bisexual?" I nodded sadly looking away from him. "I'm sorry" I whispered feeling a pang of guilt in my gut.

"Hey baby there's nothing to be sorry for I-if anything I'm sorry" He reassured me moving closer towards me the process. "W-why would you be sorry?" I cried my head falling down to look at my shaky hands. "Because you're upset about this and that you'd think that my feelings towards you would change if you told me"

"you're feelings haven't changed?" I said a spark of hopefulness ignited inside of me. "No of course not (y/n) I do and always will love you till the day I die. I love every part of you. I love you voice. Your laugh. Your beautiful (y/e/c). Your lips. Your sexy little butt." He joked while moving his hands to my butt squeezing lightly causing me to giggle like a school girl. "I love everything including the fact you like girls. You're sexuality doesn't change anything and I'll love you no matter what." He added igniting a huge undying smile onto my face ignoring the tears that were plastered over my red raw cheeks.

"You mean that?" I asked just wanting to make sure. "More than anything. I've loved you since the first day I met you." "But the first day I met you I put you in the hospital." Dylan laughed while taking my cheeks into his hands lovingly.

"Yes you did but I still knew that one day I'm going to marry you." I was taken aback from his confession. We'd never spoken about marriage or anything a long those lines so him saying this now is quite the shocker.

"But at las that is for another day my love. I love you (y/n). I love you forever." Dylan mummered against my lips before kissing them lightly. "I love you forever and more" you confessed causing Dylan to grin into your passionate kiss.

He loves me no matter what. I thought to myself happily. And I love him too.

#dylan obrien imagine #dylan obrien x y/n #dylan obrien x reader #dylan obrien angst #dylan obrien x bi!reader #bisexual #bi!reader #lgbtq #imagine #coming out #y/n #x reader

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ijustwant2write · 4 years

Text

Not A Secret-Bonnie Gold x Shelby!Reader

(GIF credit to @paquim)

Tags: @jenepleurepasbaby @amirahiddleston @bloodorangemoonlight

Requested by anonymous: 'I literally check the bonnie gold tag everyday and was so HAPPYYYY when I saw your fic, I absolutely love the idea of finns twin sister being with bonnie or even just the youngest shelby sis being with him so wondering if I could get a fic with that premise please :)'

Summary: Although (Y/N) is terrified about what her brothers may do when they find out she is in a relationship, she doesn't want to be the dirty little secret Bonnie has to keep.

Characters: Bonnie Gold x Shelby!Reader, Finn Shelby x Shelby!Reader (siblings), Polly Gray x Shelby!Reader (family), Isaiah Jesus x Shelby!Reader (platonic), Tommy Shelby x Shelby!Reader (siblings)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Swearing, arguing, angst, slight violence, lotta fluff

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Who are you dressed up for?" Finn asked as I walked into the kitchen.

"Myself." I snapped.

"I'm not an idiot-"

"Says the one who didn't finish school."

He scoffed."Come up with a better insult if you're so clever."

I retaliated by grabbing a slice of toast off his plate.

"I'll tell Tommy."

"Tell him what?" I slumped into the chair opposite him."That I knicked your toast?"

"No! That you're sneaking around."

"Do you have any evidence?"

He hesitated."No."

"Exactly, because nothing is going on."

"We're twins, I can sense it."

"Oh, fuck off Finn."

"I'm gonna find out-"

"Why would it be so bad if I was seeing someone? What if we're just fucking?"

"That's even worse!" he raised his voice.

"You do it all the time!" I shouted back.

"What the fuck is all this racket?" Polly yelled over us both, hands on her hips as she stood in the doorway.

"Sorry Pol, someone's just being a complete arse hole." I sneered, brushing past her and grabbing my coat from the hallway.

"What is she on about?" I heard her say, but I escaped out the front door before I could be questioned further.

Finn was on the right track, and I was scared that I hadn't been careful enough. Finn and I used to tell each other everything, but like the rest of our family, we started keeping our own secrets; but Finn would rat me out almost every time just to get on Tommy's good side. It pissed me off to no end.

The truth was, I was seeing someone. He had just become a Blinder himself, it must have been around two months, which was how long I had known him for. Bonnie Gold, the boy with a dream for boxing, had boldly asked me out, and I confidently accepted. He was handsome and charming, it had nothing to do with pissing off my brothers (which is what they would say if they knew about us). Of course I didn't want to tell everyone about us straight away, we had to see if it worked. But when I realised how much I would think about this man day in and day out, it became all too real, and I knew my feelings were strong.

However, because I was a fucking Shelby, that meant everything had to be a secret. And I hated it! It felt wrong, like I was in trouble with something. It was as if I was doing a job for my brothers, something illegal and dangerous. But it wasn't. It was the exact opposite. It was care free, loving and I felt immensely happy. However, Bonnie didn't think the same as I, believing that we should remain hidden until my brothers were in a good place, wait for a time where they weren't being threatened by anyone or had trouble within the business...like that was ever going to happen.

I waited beside the country road we always met on. Hardly anyone drove down here because they were scared of the gypsies that lived nearby, including my gypsy boy. Perching on a fallen tree, I sighed, fiddling with the skirt of my dress, thinking of all the ways this conversation could go wrong. Should I even bring it up? Should I even state my feelings about all of this? What if he didn't agree and we fell out? Or worse...

I was startled when I felt a pair of lips kiss my cheek, and I jumped away, only to have Bonnie grab me.

"For fucks sake Bonnie," I laughed as he kept kissing me all over my face,"you can't sneak up on me like that."

"You just looked so pretty sitting there." he grinned, helping me to my feet.

Our hands were intertwined as we gazed into each others eyes. Fuck, this was going to be hard.

"So, what brings you all the way down here?" he asked, guiding me towards the forest.

"Well, besides wanting to see you, I need to talk to you about something."

His smiled faltered."That doesn't sound good."

"It's about us being a secret-"

"We've gone over this (Y/N)."

"Yes, I know. But I hate it Bonnie! It's like you're ashamed to tell anyone about us-"

"I'm not ashamed." he stopped walking, turning me to face him."Im worried what your brothers will do."

"I won't let them hurt you."

He scoffed."They could beat me till I was black and blue and I wouldn't care. But they're powerful enough to keep you away from me. And if I retaliated, they could keep us apart for...well forever."

"Then I'll stay with you. We can leave a letter behind, a note to say that we're in love and we've run away and-"

"You'll really leave your family?"

"I..." I sighed, looking down at my feet."No, not like that. But Finn is becoming suspicious, and I know that if he finds out he'll tell Tommy. I'd rather it be us."

“(Y/N), I don’t want to sneak around either, but I’m only just making a name for myself in boxing. And your brother has helped me with that.”

I rolled my eyes, snatching my hands away as I crossed them over my chest.“I know boxing is your dream, but you’ve also said that I was part of those dreams.”

“You are! But if I don’t make enough money for us, how are we supposed to buy a house together? How are we supposed to get married?”

“How are we supposed to do any of those things if we don’t tell my family?”

His fists were clenching, but I knew this was his way of controlling his anger so he wouldn’t shout at me.

“I’m sorry that I even bothered to bring this up. Let’s just forget about it.”

“No, you’re right.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s just that...what if they don’t accept it?”

“Obviously it matters what they think, I do love my family. But you’ve been there for me more than they have, you haven’t changed, even when you became a Blinder. Even Finn changed, he’s horrible now, I don’t feel like he’s my twin anymore.”

“I don’t want to split up your family.”

“Are we even that much of a family anymore? It's so difficult because I love them, and whenever we argue it feels horrible, but at the same time I can easily hate them. They've done bad things, they always say it's for the good of the family and the business in the end, but still, they go about it the wrong way."

Bonnie held my hands again, bringing one of them to his lips, gently kissing my knuckles."I don't want you to be torn from your family. It isn't fair."

"We can do this Bon," I squeezed his hands,"we'll tell them together. I know that if Finn opens his big mouth, he'll ruin everything."

"I've got a meeting tomorrow with them, about my next match. Come with me and we'll tell them then."

"We'll do it after you've fixed the match, I won't destroy your dream."

Although I left feeling more anxious than I ever felt, there was some feeling in me that was optimistic. Perhaps my brothers would see that Bonnie had a steady future. He was boxing and working for them, so he was under their control, and they knew all about his family; Bonnie was able to keep me safe, and the love between us was obvious.

Once back in town, I headed to aunt Pol's, but was stopped by Finn, with Isaiah stood behind him. He had that fucking cocky smirk of his, hands in pockets as he started speaking.

"Where have you been off to today then?" he asked.

"Hello Isaiah, it's been a while."

"You alright (Y/N)?" Isaiah smiled.

"You gonna answer my question?" Finn interrupted.

"I had to get out of the house and away from you. I've been wandering aimlessly seeing as I'm always being watched, apparently."

"What happened to you (Y/N)?"

"Oh, don't start." I moaned."Stop acting all high and minty just because your balls have finally dropped."

I started to walk away, but he harshly grabbed my arm, yanking me back to him."What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Get off me you prick!"

"Guys," Isaiah ripped us apart,"not now not here."

As soon as I was free from his grip, I marched away, ducking my head to avoid the nosy stares from people in the street. As I got to Polly's house, I let out a small, frustrated scream, pulling off my shoes and throwing them on the floor.

"Oi! What have my floors ever done to you?" Polly tutted.

I didn't answer, storming upstairs to my room and slamming the door. Finn made me so angry, and what made me more upset was the fact that I no longer felt close to him. He was the stereotypical, protective older brother (by five minutes), teaching me how to defend myself and keeping me away from the family business. But as we grew older, becoming young adults, being more aware of the world around us, we changed. Finn changed completely, no longer the sweet, young boy I knew, but now a ruthless, slimy, conniving businessman.

"(Y/N) what's..." Polly's voice trailed off as the sound of the door opening again interrupted her."Finn, what's going on with your sister? What have you done?"

"She's hiding something Pol! I don't know what it is, but she's keeping a secret from us all, she's being cruel."

My eyes shot wide open at his words, and I almost sprinted back downstairs. Polly stood on the first step, holding me back as I ran down the stairs, ready to attack Finn.

"You're a fucking horrible brother, Finn!" I screamed with tears streaming down my face."Why can't you just leave me alone? Leave me out of the business!"

"Right!" Polly raised her voice over mine."Get in the kitchen, both of you. We're going to sit down, and talk about what's happening here."

Finn left first, Isaiah hesitantly following. Poly didn't let go of me until he was gone, slowly releasing me. I wanted to keep screaming, shout at the top of my lungs so much that it hurt. However, I silently made my way into the other room, feeling Polly's eyes on the back of my head. I sat opposite from Finn, just as we had that morning, keeping my eyes down as Polly and Isaiah adjudicated the match that was about to begin. Perhaps Bonnie should have shown me more boxing moves...

"So, Finn, what started all of this?" Polly asked.

"Why does he get to go first?" I scoffed, furiously wiping away my tears.

Polly just had to look at me to shut me up.

"All (Y/N) ever does is sneak off everyday and she never tells me where she's going. And whenever I ask her about it she snaps at me and gets all defensive. All I'm trying to do is help her."

"Help me?!"

"(Y/N) I suggest you calm down before you speak." Polly said.

I took a moment to breathe, but couldn't help blurt everything out."How on earth are you helping me? You pry into everything I do, wanting to find anything wrong with me just so you can report back to Tommy. And then whilst he's having a go at me, you're down at the Garrison, being praised like you've actually done something useful. But you haven't. You've never been able to do anything to live up to John, so you've gone against your sister just for a pat on the back."

Finn's nostrils were flaring, his breathing deep as I saw his anger building up. I didn't feel great about what I had said, but it also felt good to hurt him. He always spoke down to me, why couldn't I do it to him?

"I understand that you're trying to move up in the business, actually be taken serious by someone like Tommy. But how are they meant to treat you like an adult, when all you do is tell tales about your little sister as if we were five again?"

He shot up from this chair, and I quickly copied, watching as he rounded the table to stand in front of me; we would have been nose to nose if not for the height difference. Polly and Isaiah almost jumped to separate us, but I held out my hand. This had been a long time coming.

"You don't understand what I'm doing for you." Finn said through gritted teeth.

"No, I don't. So enlighten me, explain yourself."

"You're going to end up hurt if you keep going off with that gypsy boy."

"Gyspy boy?" Polly gasped."What fucking gypsy boy?"

"He's lying Polly."

"I'm not though, am I (Y/N)? You say I'm the one who can't do anything right in this family, but let me ask you this-what have you ever done? You don't get the respect you crave from anyone else, so you start seeing someone beneath you in order to feel something."

"He is not lower than anyone, how dare you!"

"Who isn't? (Y/N) have you been gallivanting off with some gypsy boy behind our backs?" Polly said, but I didn't break eye contact.

"Come on (Y/N), just admit it. Let then all know about your little secret."

He was smirking. The damn bastard was smirking, he was enjoying every second of this. Yelling out, I lunged at him, slapping him across the face before shoving him away from me, repeatedly hitting his chest over and over. Isaiah rushed over, pulling me away from him, but kicked him in the shin, going for Finn again when Polly stood between us, slapping me across the face. I stumbled back in shock, clutching onto my cheek.

"I have never seen you two argue like this, and it is useless! But more importantly, what do you think you're doing young lady?" Polly snapped.

"It's always my fault, just because I'm the youngest-"

"Just tell me who it is!"

"It's Bonnie!"

It was finally silent in the room. Everyone was taking in what had been said. I took in a shaky breath before speaking again.

"I promise, I was going to tell you all tomorrow, after Bonnie's meeting with Tommy. I was the one who wanted to stop keeping it a secret."

"So how come he doesn't want to say anything?" Finn said.

"He was hesitant because of his boxing. You all know it's his dream. Which is why I wanted it to be in a calm environment, tell you all one at a time. Please, none of you can say anything, not until tomorrow."

"How long has this been going on for?" Polly asked, not looking so angry.

"Two months, maybe three."

"And you're serious?"

"Yes! Look, we're not rushing into marriage or anything. I mean, we've talked about it, but he's focusing on his career first. I told him to do that."

"Pol, come on, it's Bonnie we're talking about." Finn groaned.

"What's your point?" she argued back."Finn, I know you want to look out for your sister, but she's not stupid. She wouldn't put herself in a relationship of the boy was going to fuck her over."

"It could be worse Finn." Isaiah piped up."At least we know the guy, Bonnie is a good lad."

"Finn," I grabbed his attention back,"you have to promise me you won't tell Tommy. I have to do this myself."

Finn nodded, then huffed, looking at us all before leaving. Isaiah was quick to follow, throwing a small smile my way.

Polly placed her hands on my shoulder, guiding me into a chair."Right, sit down you. You're going to tell me everything, from the beginning."

It had been a huge relief to finally tell someone. And it wasn't as if I was being Punoshed and forced to tell the truth. I could gush about how amazing he was, the lovely things he said to me, the thought out dates he had taken me on when he didn't have the money, and what he would buy me after he saved up especially. Polly was smiling throughout, which gave me a sense that she was there for me. Now all I had to do was tell Tommy.

Finn kept his promise, or at least I thought he had because my door hadn't been kicked down with my older brother yelling at me. It had been a restless night, tossing and turning, wondering whether I should risk telling everyone else right now. Bonnie hadn't done that many matches, enough for people to recognise him though. What if Tommy ruined everything for him? What if they cut all ties with their family and their protection, making us more vulnerable? However, Polly, Finn and Isaiah already knew, and it would only be a matter of time before they told everyone else.

No one was in the house when I woke. The silence was annoying. Usually I longed for the peacefulness, but today I was alone with my annoyingly loud thoughts. I had checked my appearance multiple times before leaving, as if that would make any difference. Paranoia set in as I walked through the streets. Somehow I thought that they all knew my secret, and were all staring at me. What a drama queen.

As I got closer to Charlie's yard, I went over my rehearsed speech, ready to defend my love. Tommy was stood with Bonnie and his dad, Aberama, of course he was smoking as they discussed their business. I wasn't expecting Aberama, the embarrassment was already setting in. They all noticed me as I approached, falling silent as they watched me; Bonnie instinctively smiled.

"(Y/N)? What's wrong?" Tommy asked, slight concern in his voice.

"Nothing is wrong." I replied, standing beside him.

"Then why are you here? We're discussing business."

"Oh, I can wait till you're finished."

"No, no, say your peace now. We're basically finished."

"Right...um..." my words disappeared, the prepared speech suddenly gone.

"(Y/N) and I have secretly been seeing each other." Bonnie casually stated.

Aberama and Tommy glanced between us, watching as Bonnie boldly took my hand, tugging me towards him.

"You what?" Tommy stamped out his cigarette.

"It's true. It's been going on for two months." I mumbled.

Tommy pointed at Aberama."Did you know about this?"

Aberama was smirking."No, and I'm impressed that they hid it so well."

"He's fucking impressed."

"Tommy, we weren't doing this to aggravate anyone. We didn't mean to sneak around, but we wanted to make sure this relationship was working before we told you." I explained.

"(Y/N) was the one who told me we should tell you all. I'm sorry Mr Shelby, I didn't mean to go behind your back." Bonnie sincerely said.

"We were also hesitant because of his boxing. He is so loyal to you after all you've done. Please don't stop all of this because of me-"

Tommy held his hand up, shutting me up. Bonnie squeezed my hand for reassurance.

"Mr Shelby, may I butt in for a moment?" Aberama asked."You say this has been going on for two months?"

I nodded."Uh, yes, three months at the most."

"And in that time, Bonnie has attended all his matches, and followed your instructions, and has also completed all of his Blinder duties he was assigned. Not once has he faltered. And he did all of this whilst secretly meeting with your sister."

Aberama was on our side. Perhaps this would help ease Tommy into the idea.

"Fine, they are but a few good points." Tommy coughed."You two sure you're serious?"

We both nodded, cuddling closer together.

He let out a long sigh."If Bonnie can continue staying on track with boxing and business, then I'll allow it. But this can't effect any of our work."

"It won't Mr Shelby, I promise." Bonnie smiled.

"Thank you Tommy." I said, catching the second his eyes softened before he and Aberama turned to leave.

Aberama looked over his shoulder, winking at us before turning to speak with Tommy again. I faced Bonnie, squealing with delight before throwing my arms around him. He grabbed my cheeks, cheekily kissing me with his hands travelling down to my waist. He almost went lower until I stopped it, and I heard him whine as I pulled away.

"Bonnie, do you know what this means?" I breathed out.

"My place or yours?" he grinned.

"What? No! I'm not on about that." I laughed."We get to walk around holding hands, we get to kiss in public, we get to not so subtly sneak away from parties, and everyone knows we're having sex."

"(Y/N), I'm serious now, otherwise I might just have to take you here."

"I'd prefer if you didn't mate." Finn startled us appearing from seemingly nowhere.

Bonnie and I pulled apart, our hands still intertwined, our cheeks flushing red.

"Finn, I-"

"Don't worry Bonnie. I'll get used to it. I think."

"So you didn't end up telling him." I said.

"No. You were really upset the other day and I haven't seen you like that before, not that angry anyway. I'm actually here to apologise."

"Oh."

"I am truly sorry (Y/N). I've been a shit brother for the past year, and I was too proud to recognise that."

"I forgive you. I'm sorry for yesterday as well, you didn't deserve all of those horrible words or the slap."

"I did deserve it. But, how about a truce?" he held his hand out.

I smiled, grabbing it and pulling him towards me. We hugged each other tightly, and the memories came flooding back. This was my brother, such a familiar feeling, a loving feeling.

"Right, go on, fuck off with your boyfriend." he joked.

"I love you Finn. Don't worry, we'll see if Bonnie has any friends for you."

"Fuck off. But I love you too." he chuckled.

Bonnie wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we walked away. Neither of us could stop smiling. And now that Finn and I were building our relationship back to the way it was, everything felt like it was moving in the right direction.

"I repeat my question from earlier, mine or yours?" Bonnie needily said.

"Is that all you can think about right now?" I dramatically gasped."Yours, we haven't been there in ages."

"Well you better start walking faster, love."

"Come on, I'll race ya'."

"What's the prize?"

"Winner gets the other person to do whatever they want to them."

"I'll give you a head start. I'm going to win either way."

"Alright, but just know I have about ten things in my mind."

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

Note

I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖

#eiypo

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yamagucji · 4 years

Text

a series of thank you’s i’ve been meaning to give for a while now. please note i couldn’t get everyone bc im smol brained and im forgetful :(( also its vedy long so i added a readmore link but if it’s okay then i can remove it!

i would’ve preferred to go to your inboxes/dm’s but im scared t🤢umblrs going to glitch on me if i do it again a ha ha

@doublemoons

i remember you sent in my first ever request and i was SO happy like🥺 my account had no visibility on week 1 but then you somehow found my blog and since then you’ve been supporting me. i love the aesthetic of your blog and i always look forward to your rb’s because they so cute and insightful !! ik we haven’t talked much but i definitely perceive u as a gentle person here’s 1k hearts for you and you only <3

@insanityqueen

please i was *intense squealing* and *happy noises* when you said you wanted to be mutuals :’) im definitely uhhh way too immature for u but you still stick with all the caps and !!! i send you😭 you’re such an interesting, talented person. day 1 you got me HOOKED with your art and im gonna say this again,, i have never seen skin look soo s o f t painted. im really grateful for your company and all your cats and the hinata art you made me🥺 i am not still thirsting over it i swear and then you sent me pieces of your writing and i def expected hc’s but then BOOM🧍‍♀️ im so amazed by your writing. also you are vv pretty i hope you know that

@zephyrria

matching heart memes matching heart memes😾 i don’t talk to you as much but our main form of communication is literally exchanging heart memes w/o a word,,, if that isn’t true love idk what is :// anyway i love our little convos so much it always brightens my day! and omg lets not forget when you made me a drabble back😳 like wha- HUH !! i was so touched i rlly went boom boom woosh bc no ones ever written me one back and i!! that yamaguchi gives me so much comfort. you give me sm comfort, thank you bub <3

@beanst0ck

hehe my first tumblr crush😼 as soon as i deactivated my reading account to my a writing blog i was like “ok bean is on my top to-follow list” like i thought you were so cool and i was vv shy to interact with you🥺 and YOU STILL ARE COOL!! your works are really amazing and i am vv much still in love w my matchup w suga :’)

@killuababie

HHHH GRR BORK BORK I LUB U B NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BHH💓✨ bro,,,, when we switched over to insta it was WILD like— our sense of humor? matched. immaculate. please i love seeing all the memes u send me it makes my day so much like u don’t understand😭 and our convos really go chaos sometimes gkfjdj i love it. u need to pull up and play among us w me sometime 😡

@bewwybun

m-my first spouse🥺 even tho it was a joke the first time and i said sike fkdjdjdj but you still accepted my dino chimken nuggie ring hehe <3 bub your are literally the CUTEST HHHHH LIKE,,, cuteness overload !!! i love talking to you sm and our little exchange of heart memes make the butterflies in my tummy go ✨

@mei-writes

may🥺 imy bub i hope you’re doing well and taking good care of yourself. still very grateful for that time you pulled through to check which of my links weren’t working. and there’s a LOT. like the fact that you took time out of your day for me still baffles me. anyway im lomve you ik we don’t talk as much but you’re still a valued moot to me. im offering u free headpats hehe

@kozsma

hi maria👉👈 you’re so wonderful and rlly amazing w your smaus. absolutely smitten over our chaotic conversations fkfjd we haven’t talked in a while but if you see this just know that i’m here for you <3 take some self care okay? hope you’re doing good bub

@tsukkeisimp

dalia, you wondering being💞 please what did i do to deserve your love >;( we don’t talk much but we have exchanged heart memes before and you’re always out here supporting me whenever you can and like!! tysm bub. i hope you’re feeling better from the last time we interacted, and please do take good care of yourself!

@satorispup

can’t believe you made a reputation of having a piss kink. what power. what energy >>> anyway it’s fun seeing your chaotic energy on my feed/tl. sometimes i won’t even look at the user and say yeah💔 that’s hero alright gkfjdj also you’re so cute what the heck😡😡

@tobiokvgs

[ insert 100 hearts ] this for u bub. im still going crazy over your tsukki lipbalm piece like i was so FLUSTERED you really did that huh😭 you’re so nice and sweet, ty for giving me headbonks as well im really glad to get them😌 hope you have an amazing day bub, and take care!!

@bunnyuuji

cutecutecutest bean ever🥺 you have such wonderful works and im truly in love with your writing😌 also you’re so SWEET WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE U GKFJDJ literally you weren’t obligated to stop by my ask and check in but u did >:(

@yanderepunkin

hehe ik we haven’t interacted in such a long time but im including you!! bc i appreciate you!! i know you’ve supported me a lot especially when i just started this blog and im really thankful for it. also uhhh im still not over accidentally turning off anon when i was- yeah😿 i wish you all the love in the world, and please do take gentle care of yourself 💓

@ahkaahshi

frannn👁👁🤲 yes im gonna start with how big brained you are. your passion for textiles and improving the environment is vv cool to me. and then there’s the fact you write these hq characters so well. yes i am absolutely still living for your character analysis. i am thriving off of them!! here’s me manifesting kita and/or sakusa to show up in your dreams hehe

@sachirou-senpai

i hope you dont mind me sending u stuff every now and then! anyway im in awe of your writing and art skills. you brought a realistic yamaguchi and i ascended😳 i genuinely think you’re such a cool person but also please take breaks!! ik it’s such an overused phrase but i genuinely mean it. i care u <3

@kenmakodzu

you’re so sweet and you do really be sending me back some heart memes😳 i go BOOM BOOM yaya that’s more to my collection;) also you and your hq anon interactions go WILD omg it really does make my day more interesting whenever i see them😂 also i do be seeing some of ur chaotic energy on my dash and i am HERE for it

@tsukkisbean

hemlo clara🥺 d-do you remember me gkdjshsjs i think its been a while since we interacted. you’re so sweet and AHH lmao did u know we were in a poly with wiss😔💔 yeah❤️ n e way i hope you’ve been alright these past few weeks, and if not, please get some break!

@atsunflower

miya twin supremacy😡 can’t believe you made me swerve over to osamu’s lane because of your amazing writing. how could you. the mf audacity. i rlly do fell in love with that piece do so THAMK U and that also goes for the support you’ve given me💗

@lespaghetti

ozzy👁👁🤝 ngl our conversations have been top tier im glad i got to uhmm,,, get some of these *thoughts* out of my head. you’re such a sweet little bean!!! that art/sketch you did with the purple (?) themed uniforms was really cute. im glad to have u as my moot and *cough* my vip reader *cough*

@sleepykarabou

our heart meme streak was strong until school happened😔 but i really enjoy them tho!! it’s very calming talking to you (fun, but also vv calming idk that’s how i feel) loving the brainrots we give each other of our favs from time to time :’) also omg OSRRY im barely active in the server please spare me😿 im lomve u

@nerdybreadcollaborative

gee!! AHHHH KGFJJD GRRR u sweet bean oh my goodness. where do i start- ??? i’ve already gushed so much abt your writing but here we go again; i love your writing so much and your attention to the little details is so great. they flow so well and i hope u get more visibility bc it’s what u deserve!! also please take care of yourself and don’t work too much u nerdy bean

@nishinoya-is-baby

ely my plant kinnie, my spouse (?) and also the blog that i dump my h word thots on😭❤️ ahhh im lomve you, you’re amazing. from your writing, to your makeup skills, and your room, the talent really ✨jumped out✨thank you for supporting me so much, i genuinely appreciate it. i hope we can stay moots despite me being busy gkfjdj anyway take care bbie don’t work too much okay?

@art0saurus

TATE😤 the amount of hq brainrot you’ve fed me is astronomical. idk how you keep coming up with such good ideas but im all for them!! i love your writing so much and the plots are so *chefs kiss* (yes im still gushing over mermaid!bokuto). thank you so much for sending some bits of positivity into my life, im really grateful for it :’)

@dorkyhaikyu

EL!😼 you sweet bean. wish i could bombard ur asks but school is saying no </3 you’re such a sweet mutual and your writing is absolutely amazing. still kinda hurt over that angst u made💔 but anyway i loved it sm. also please wear safer shoes next time on big events so u dont get any more BLISTERS kgjdjdh jkjk

@chickenwingspiker

nashnashnash🥺👉👈 wth you’re so cute and even cuter with the little emoticons u put in my asks. i really appreciate you taking time out of your day to check in on me. i think your works are really heckin cool, im still very into that sock agenda one and the akaashi fic AHH i love them sm. i hope that u have better experiences with online learning and i really wish you all the best on ur art journey <3

@miyastrology

did u forget abt our walk to the strawberry field😿 jkjk heyyy atlas!! im lomve your theme and your writing. i have the urge to say you’re as sweet as strawberry bc im unoriginal like that💔 let’s just pretend i put something kute :’( n e way u are vv cute, make sure to take care of yourself ok!!

@derpeedoo

your rb’s and comments on ppl works... i just... my heart is full. im complete. i go absolute doki doki for you. you’re such a genuine person and you give people so much love❤️ here’s an unlimited supply of my love to you bc you deserve it. ty for all the cute questions btw🥺

🕊 anon - still wondering if ur one of my already-moots or not😳 but anyway dove anon i have a lot to say,,, like how ?? do u go “ok let’s check in on aaron today hehe” like am i interesting??😭 i feel kinda bad ngl you really don’t have to talk to me. but nevertheless im really appreciate of all the support you’ve given me. i genuinely think you’re a cool person and you do all these fun stuff like photography which is amazing. here’s the biggest THANK YOU i could ever give <3 ps. your art is CUTE and AMAZING @bee-kins

@simping-for-tendou

do i??? spam your feed??😭 you’re always liking my posts and i feel so sorry for spamming but also vv appreciate of all the interaction i’ve had with you!! im very glad i got to ask you qotd and stuff because i got to know that you like plants as well!! thank you for sharing plant facts with me, it really made my day. i genuinely think you’re such an awesome and big brained person for knowing all those facts🥺👉👈

@wissaaltje

ngl i was very intimated by you bc of all your angst and really good works which is probably why i never reached out to you sooner😿 ur my uhhh third spouse <3 but anyway your CHAOTIC ENERGY is thru the roof i love that sm and your writing is so mf beautiful i wish more people got to see it😡 i will gib you flower soup and muddy pie to make you feel better ;) jkjk but you’re very amazing and i hope you know that!

@smolbludandelions

hehe you’re in here😼 thank you ???? for supporting me even tho you’re not obligated??? like wh- i- bub🥺🤲 you have all my heart and i rlly rlyy want to stop by your inbox and give you heart memes but me why >;( i hope you have the most amazing day(s) of your life because you deserve it SO much.

@tadashi-simp

FINALLY someone i can simp over yamaguchi with😭 ik we haven’t talked much but AH i love the conversations we’ve had so far and all that insight you gave me about the new wanda film (truly a blessing bc i was so genuinely confused gkfjdj).

@oikaw-ugh

just. JOLLIBEE. can’t believe one of our first interactions was u sending me chain mail smfh i cannot believe you😭 anyway po i appreciate you so much na kaka tawa ako sa mga msgs mo and all the good vibes u radiate. mag bisaya unta ko nimi pero baka mag nosebleed ako😿 im losing my native languages it’s not even funny anymore but when i got to talk to u in my mother tongue, i felt a bit more at home. thank you bub <3

@makemealive

hihi👉👈 idrk what we first talked about, i think it was spending vacation in the galapagos islands??😭 riding turtles??? what a great way to start our friendship :’) i rlly think you’re cool and i just,,,, admire u from afar- yeah. sorry this message is too chaotic but anyway u might not have a green thumb but look at you growing potatoes accidentally😌 anyway i think you’re cool i just haven’t said it before because im s Hy

@lostsealscreams

seal, bub, i genuinely care about you. you’re such a sweet person. i know we haven’t interacted much but im looking forward to more conversations with you!! please find little fun things to do... maybe do some self appropriation if you can, bc you deserve it. maybe even treat yourself... or any self care tasks that make you feel better. i care about you a lot, im just an ask/dm away if you wanna talk about anything at all💕💞✨

@hqgardenia - jkjk this is my spam account idk why i put this here but here probably bc im dumb as fuck

#cupid; talks!#queuepid

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soartfullydone · 3 years

Text

No. 3 - STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT… taunting | insults | “Who did this to you?” Delethil/Riven/Eravin requested by @editoress

More of the OT3, we cannot be stopped

The saw cut through the wood with too much jagged force. If Eravin didn’t stop to take a second and breathe, he was more likely to lose a finger than trim the branches off this fallen tree. But pausing might mean he’d start to examine why he was so angry, and Eravin didn’t do introspection. Better for the feelings to boil and seethe like a pot of water over a fire and then fade away like steam as they always do.

One of the branches cracked under his hands. Eravin lowered the saw and brought up his leg, snapping the branch the rest of the way off with a swift kick of his booted heel. That felt good. He definitely hadn’t pictured anyone’s face he was stomping in instead. The leaves rattled and sighed as he dragged the limb away from the trunk.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” said a bright voice through his tetchy mood. “Are wood elf tempers more behavioral or cultural at this point?”

The briefest chuckle huffed out of him. “Shouldn’t ye know?”

He tossed the limb, watching it land at the foot of a rough tangle of trees behind his property. It would be able to rot there peacefully. Eravin brushed his hands off on his pants and returned to the tree. Riven was there, a foot against the trunk and inspecting his saw between her hands.

“My temper’s better than yours,” she answered lightly.

“Your temperament, maybe.” He tugged the saw away from her and crouched down to get back to work. “When you’re angry, though, up in arms doesn’t cover it.”

“You’re supposed to say it makes me fiery and exciting.”

The tips of his ears were hot. “Del might say that because he manages to be worse than ye. And he’s a fool. Me, I know a threat when I see one.”

Arms straining, Eravin pulled the saw back and forth through a thicker branch. For a moment, that was all the sound that was between them. Finally, Riven asked, “What’s made ye all fiery today, then?”

Eravin’s neck was warm, or maybe that was the afternoon sun beating down on it. He paused to wipe the sweat off his brow. “Nothing,” he said gruffly. “Tree fell, is all.”

“Aye, trees fall,” Riven agreed, “but it didn’t fall on your shop or anything. No wasps around to sting ya or owls to bother ya. So what’s wrong?”

He sighed, contemplating leaving the saw stuck in the limb and retreating to his workshop. But that would just confirm Riven’s suspicions, and she would follow him anyway. Instead, he sat back on his haunches and insisted, “It doesn’t matter, so—”

“It matters to me. Who did it, then? Did Del say something to piss ya off?”

“Wasn’t Del.”

“Tell me who I’m beating up then! We can get Del in on it, too. It’s important for new, uh, triples to have bonding activities.”

Right, and have Del disappear his own men the way he used to terrorize Riven’s suitors. Absolutely not, not for something as idiotic as this.

Aye, Eravin thought the whole thing was idiotic. His hurt feelings, Riven’s concern, all of it. But she wasn’t going to drop it. Eravin resumed sawing with abandon. Maybe she wouldn’t hear him over the noise, his words directed at the wood chippings falling to his feet. “Just a few of the lads acting the maggot.”

Silence fell again. Eravin didn’t continue. Riven didn’t ask. The beats stretched on and on.

A rough, impatient sigh. “And?” Riven sounded frustrated, probably with the both of them. She hadn’t quite learned how to force him to say more than he wanted to. “What did the worms say? I’m hoping it’s good. I haven’t gotten to throw as many punches as I thought I would comin’ home.”

“It’s really not important, Riven.”

“Oh. So it was about me then.”

She’s pretty, all right, Cashal had said, but Delethil’s had plenty of pretty. He’ll get bored with her soon enough, and me arms will be right here, wide open.

The saw snagged on something. Eravin was distracted. “No! No, it wasn’t that. They were just…” He left the saw stuck in place and rose to his full height. Swiped a hand over his face and dampened his hair with even more sweat. “They were just being arses, and it got on my nerves. Tha’s all.”

“Was it about Del?”

“If it were, he wouldn’t give two shites.” He leaned over the tree, looked deep in her eyes, and said, “And if you’re not gonna help with this, ye can go, lass. I’m busy.”

Riven glared right back at him and slowly drew a dagger from behind her back. Rather than plunging it into his chest, she crouched down and started carving something on the other side of the tree.

Eravin cursed under his breath. Well, he hadn’t specified how she could help, had he? He yanked the saw free and stepped closer to where the break had occurred at the base of the trunk. He cut away the thin strips that still tethered the tree to its stump, keeping time with the steady thunk, thunk of Riven’s blade on the wood.

“Well, whatever they said,” Riven continued nonchalantly, “it’s not true. Or it’s not worth gettin’ into a twist over. Or maybe they are right, but fuck ‘em. Who cares?” She shrugged at him from the other side. “Hard to know which sympathies to give when I don’t know the details, but… I had to hit one of them, aye?”

She looked at him so hopefully, it made him embarrassed, ashamed. Not for the first time, he wished he had Del’s eloquence, only without the bullshit. He wished he had Riven’s warmth, her willingness to be vulnerable over and over no matter how many times she got hurt for it. He wished he could see himself the way these two people so clearly could.

He wished he could tell them everything he thought and felt easily, without any embellishing, or self-deprecation, or stumbling. But he couldn’t bare himself like that, not yet. Eravin didn’t want to make trouble, especially not to the two people who, beyond all reasoning, had chosen him over everyone else.

The words he’d overheard came back so loudly, he nearly flinched.

But what about Eravin?

You’re taking the piss. Boss got his throne. What’s he gonna need with Glenmere after this? I’m not even sure why he bothered with ‘im in the first place. We’ve better archers—and better looking.

He doesn’t even want to be here, does he? Wants to just live and die in that little shop of his. I say, let him. No fun to be around, and the drink makes him worse!

Eravin picked a few young leaves off a scraggly vine growing up the trunk, flicking them to the ground one by one. “Del’s gonna stay true to ye, y’know? He’s wanted ye so bad for so long, he’d never think about another lass.”

Riven’s jaw slackened, surprised. Her response was wry. “I should hope so, or else his reign’ll be the shortest in Aeranth’s history, it will.”

Too late, Eravin realized how the sudden topic change had come across. Too late, he realized that he should’ve added that he’d be the one to kill Del before Riven could. “No, I—What I meant was, ye don’t have anything to worry about. That includes Del. And that includes me.”

“That’s good. For a minute there, it was nothing but worryin’.” Riven cocked her head thoughtfully, focusing on her carving. “It’s the same the other way around, y’know. Del’s not gonna let you go, either. And ya won’t scare me away.” Her teeth flashed in a grin. “So I guess we better keep making sure we all really, really like each other, aye, Erry?”

His entire face turned beet red. Ducking his head, Eravin answered, his mouth quirking up despite himself, “Aye, Riv. That we will.”

#whumptober2021 #oc: riven arnor #oc: eravin glenmere #oc: delethil aismere #campaign: last resort movers inc #cue scene #for inquiring minds: riven is carving all of their initials in the tree like a sap #she'll carve a dick somewhere else

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clumsyclifford · 3 years

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just finished writing this and realized how long it got oh jeez i am so sorry. i promise it is just me rambling about nothing and does not require a lot of thought.

i made a playlist of r5's entire discography and am listening to it (in order) because there is something wrong with me. if only it had their very first ever ep on it (ready set rock ep you may have been slight garbage but i don't love you any less for it). oh god i realized i fucked up and didn't add the songs by "ross lynch and r5" from the austin & ally soundtrack. i'm already three songs into louder and they would have been between louder and say you'll stay. what do i have to do is actually one of r5's best songs and i'm pretty sure i remember ross calling it one of his favs fairly recently?? which was so valid of him. anyways. this is now an r5 song ranking. i'm bored and avoiding doing assignments. i'm going to name my top 10 r5 songs off the top of my head. source: me trying to remember every song they've ever released.

no. 1: easy love. nothing comes close. my fav song they ever made. they haven't made anything that even compares since (this is /hj. tde has some valid songs).

no. 2: wishing i was 23. what do you mean i only love this song because of my nostalgia bias no i don't.

no. 3: what do i have to do? i will not elaborate i do not know why i adore this song as much as i do it's just a cute song.

no. 4: repeating days. THE END. THE FUCKING END AFTER THE SONG ENDS THE "all i've got is cheap wine" PART ross sounds so vulnerable and him with just the guitar makes me so :(((((( it's so gorgeous that part makes the whole song and that makes it top 3 for me.

no. 5: i want u bad. THAT SONG FUCKS LIVE. I DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT I WILL PROBABLY NEVER SEE IT LIVE AGAIN. (speaking of concerts i can't believe you bought concert tix and fucking forgot??? that is actually so fucking funny bella it made me laugh i will not lie)

no. 6: dark side. so so valid of them. it just fucks. it's so good. it makes u want to dance. u named a fic after a lyric from it which was so valid.

no. 7: did you have your fun? i love this song. no i will not elaborate. it is a sexy song. what's that one lyric from it that's hot. "love me, leave me, left me numb" some lyrics you love for no particular reason and for me that's one of those lyrics.

no. 8: f.e.e.l.g.o.o.d. this has alwayysss been one of my favs by them. since it dropped. some lore about it: the like crowd yelling that's in it they recorded live at a festival they played and i remember there being hype about this being an unreleased song when they had the crowd chanting "f-e-e-l-g-o-o-d" with no explanation. also another fun fact is that the final version of this is just a demo?? source: my slightly faulty memory remembering ross saying something about some demos being so good that you keep them as they are and it later being revealed this was the song he was talking about.

no. 9: i know you got away. sexy song. they released a vocals only version of it (that has apparently since been deleted?? i went to look for it on youtube and couldn't find it?? wtf r5) that has stuck with me ever since.

no. 10: loud. but more specifically the acoustic or live version. this was their encore song that they played to end every show. i MISS IT. it holds a special place in my heart.

honorable mentions: hurts good (a good song and THEIR LAST THEY EVER RELEASED VV SAD), wild hearts (fun fact almost picked a lyric from this song as my senior quote till i found out they didn't write this song), fallin' for you (YOU LIKE MISMATCHED SOCKS WITH POLKA DOTS YOU LIKE YOUR PIZZA COLD I THINK THATS HOT i never saw this song live and i'm still fucking pissed about it ok), do it again (it's such a sweet song :(((( "listen to the airplanes as we count the stars" gives me the same vibes as six feet under the stars), things are looking up (generally just a cute song!! this whole ep is just very good and very cute!! when i saw it live one time during the bridge ross was like "everyone shut up this is my favorite part >:(" and that was so valid of him) i can't say i'm in love (it's just a fun song!! it was a bonus track on sln from another country), trading time (this is the only song from the new addictions ep that i listed and u know what i'm Not sorry)

ok. i will spare you and stop rambling. other honorable mentions: if you have never listened to cool girl (feat. the driver era) by new beat fund i highly recommend. it's an okay song but it was one of the first songs released after they rebranded as tde and includes ross saying motherfucker with his whole chest. i will never again feel what i felt the first time i heard that song having listened exclusively to them as r5 whose songs they couldn't curse in because they were on a disney label.

in conclusion. i miss r5. ross saying fuck is kinda hot. i listened to the entirety of louder while writing this. i am sorry to dump this in your askbox. i still have multiple assignments to do and should probably go to sleep at a decent time. it feels fitting to finally stop writing while easy love is on. when i was 12 and this ep came out i thought "dirtbags" was a curse word and was scared to sing it. they changed it to "douchebags" live.

that's all. goodbye. have a lovely night. listen to r5's discography for clear skin thriving crops etc etc. sorry to lovepost about them in your askbox i only have (1) former r5 mutual that i still talk to (a very interesting but long story. she's the gemini bestie) and she will only lovepost about r5 once in a while. feel free to ignore my ask calling cody bellinger hot i was a different person when i wrote it i am now a changed woman. LOVE YOU MWAH - bella but she misses r5

hi hi im going to answer this with minimal thought because im tired but i dont wanna leave this sitting in my inbox forever but for the record all your r5 opinions are valid. ok lets go

1. easy love slaps ive heard it a couple times over the last few days (it played in the car today while i was driving sam n meghna to the airport) and it does fuck i can see why it's your fave

2. i do not know this song

3. A BOP A WHOLE FUCKIN BOP

4. oh i do love repeating days great choice i would have to hear it a few more times to get it in my head but i remember really liking it when i listened to the album it's on

5. also a banger and i'm glad my concert tickets situation made you laugh it made me laugh too imagine being this useless gldskfjgs

6. DARK SIDE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS GIVE IN TO YOUR DARK SIDE YOUR DARK SIDE IIIIIIIII SEE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT MEEEEE

7. ANOTHER FUCKING BANGER this one is probably among my favorite r5 songs maybe top 5 LOVE ME LEAVE ME LEFT ME NUMB (guitar moment) DID YOU HAVE YOUR FUUUuuuuUUUUUNNNNN i feel the same way about this lyric as you

8. oh shit thats pretty cool i dont know this song tbh i cant remember how it goes i know ive heard it once or twice but. id have to listen to it again so i will keep you posted on that

9. i do not know this one either

10. interesting choice for top ten but i support you, this song fucks and ever since you mentioned it it's been in my subconscious and randomly getting stuck in my head i think i need to listen to it to get it out. it does hit ur right

11. i don't know hurts good or wild hearts or things are looking up or i can't say i'm in love or trading time well enough to say anything about them. but i really like fallin for you it's one of those cheap fun songs but emphasis on fun, and also really like do it again one day ill write a fic based on that song

i have not listened to cool girl i put it on my to listen playlist so hopefully i remember to listen to it soon ill be honest though i dont think im prepared for ross lynch saying motherfucker w his whole chest like i think itll take me out. so. anyway. i hope you got your assignments done. thank you for the r5 lovedump feel free to drop in anytime with more

#this is a love-positive zone #we love love #here on clumsyclifford we support insane obsessions because we also have insane obsessions #ask #cubs anon #anonymous #lol i was telling my dad that i talked to rian and zack but said the most generic things ever #and i was like. i mean there were things that i would have wanted to ask but if i had then they would have known that--#-- im like super obsessed with them in a kind of creepy way. like i wanted to ask rian what time alex was born #...so we can figure out his rising sign so we can make his star chart #and my dad was like . why would you need that #and i said. you know for funsies #he was like do you think he would even know that #and i said well in our collective opinions we think alex wouldnt know what time he was born but rian and/or jack probably would #and my dad was like its a good thing you didnt ask him that. it would have been creepy.#and i was like I KNOW THATS WHY I DIDNT ASK BECAUSE I KNEW IT WOULD HAVE BEEN CREEPY BRO #so anyway #i dont remember why i started telling this story #its 1am im so tired ive had the longest two days ever #i need sleep im going to die #i cant believe classes in two days #end me

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low-budget-korra · 4 years

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The first text I made was over 2,000 words so I’ll try to summarize it.

First I'm going to talk about what I think is Bury Your Gays and poor writing of minorities.

For me, Bury your gays is when certain productions kill the lgbt character for the sake of shock value, often in the most stupid ways possible. A famous example of this was what happened to Lexa in the 100. When it feels like the character only died because he is gay.

And for me, poor writing for minorities (poc, lgbt, people with disabilities ...) can be characterized as:

1. Productions that want to portray the image of progressives and put a poc or lgbt character (which are the most common cases) without personality, unimportant, without development ... Character that are just there for decoration

2. When they even create an interesting character but soon create a reason to kill him to shock the audience. Kill them because they are poc.

And for me having a poc or lgbt character (since these are the boxes where I identify with) interesting, important ... this is the word: Important! whether it is important directly in the plot as a protagonist who carries the story or a supporting role with a good role on the story and a good development, it is much more significant than a character forced only for certain productions not to be accused of racism, sexism or lgbtphobia.

Of course, each case is different. I will now comment briefly on Atomic Blonde, The Last of Us part II and The Legend of Korra.

In Atomic Blonde we have the death of Delphine, a lgbt character who has generated some discussions about being a "bury your gays". I don't particularly agree because I believe that if she were a man or straight, she would die anyway. Since the protagonist's other love interest had died in the beginning and he was a heterosexual white man, and because the character of Delphine, despite being a spy, did not belong in that work or life style . Something even commented by herself. She was an inexperienced agent in the worst possible scenario to be one . But i now understand and why some people still think It was bury your gays.

In The Last of Us part II I saw many people complaining about the death of Jesse, Yara and how Lev was just a supporting character. The Last of Us part II .... a game that is not afraid to kill loved characters without any ceremony simply because in that world, one mistake can cost your life. Regardless of gender, sexuality, age, skin color ...

Jesse and Yara played Asian American characters and died. Mel, Joel, Owen ... were Caucasian, cishet characters who died too. None of them die because they are asian american or caucasian, they die cuz that world is fucking ruthless.

And about Lev not being important just because he is an supporting character... First that he is for Abby what Dina is for Ellie, both of them are extremely important support for the protagonists and Interesting characters with their own internal struggles and development. I think it is very unfair to throw this away with the argument like: "ah, but he is not the protagonist so it is not important"

And still about The Last of Us part II we are talking about a game and for those who do not know the gamer community is toxic, full of sexism, racism, lgbtphobia ... And the game developers had the balls for not only make two protagonists women outside the steryotype of femme fatalle or defenseless love interest(still very present in games) and one of them a lesbian, but also introducing an important trans character in a mainstream high-budget game.

People, until recently the only image we had of women in games was that of a busty model running around, made purely to please male players, good and important black, asian and lgbt characters was really rare or just didnt exist at all.

And today we have characters like Ellie, Lev, Kassandra (AC Odyssey), Jill Valentine and Claire Redfield who were reimagined more humanely in the remakes of Resident Evil, Lara Croft herself in the 2013 Tomb Raider remake, Max and Chloe(Life is Strange), Lee and Clementine(TWD from telltale), Marcus (Detroit Become Humam ), Connor (AC3) ... I know, there is still a long way to go until we have achieved the equality and representativeness that we want in the world of games but we are advancing. They may be a baby step but they still are steps forward. We should continue to support this initiatives and demand better representation.

Now about The Legend of Korra ... Reading the comments in the post i get the feeling that people were much more angry with Bryke for being cishet than with questions related to the narrative.

It bothers me the fact that it seems that whoever made the posts (originally from twitter) did not watch avatar or simply watched without paying attention. It was NEVER about Korra needed suffering but about finding Meaning in suffering. And yes, they are two different things.

When in the end Korra is talking to Tenzin, about understand the why she had to go through all that , for them be abble to be more compassionate of others. That shit is real. When you have a panic attack , for exemple, you become more abble to help someone who also suffers from that. Or when some people lose someone for a disease or acident and choose to become a doctor to help others, wanting no other person had to go through that pain... In this case, the person didnt have to lose someone to be a doctor but maybe after saw all the fight that the doctors put in to save someone and the pain of losing someone may have made the person spend the rest of his life saving people. Get It?

And in Avatar, both TLA and TLOK, people have suffer.

Aang: Cast aside by his friends when people discover he was the Avatar. Runaway and lose all of his people. Had to see the devastation for himself and find the bones of his friend and possible father figure. Almost die a few times. For many years had the weight of been the last of his people. And in a part of the journey, lost Appa.

Sokka and Katara: Lost their mother. Their dad leave to fight and possible die in the war. Sokka was only a teen when he was the man responsable for his tribe. Katara had the weight of being the only waterbender of her tribe and be the only one that could calm Aang once he was in Avatar State.

Toph: as a blind kid, her parents think of her as someone unable to do anything. Had to choose between save Appa or save the others in some point of their journey

Zuko: When i start with him?

Azula: oh Boy...

Iroh: Lose is only son. Had to see his brother burn Zuko's face. And Zuko betrayed him, kind of, in the end of book2.

Asami: Her mom was murdered , maybe even in front of her. Her dad was a evil genius. She probably suffered with Korra in those 3 years.

Mako and Bolin: They grow up as orphans on the streets...

I could go on and on, dude, even the cabbage man had suffer from losing his cabbages over and over.

But all of the sudden, Korra now had to have plot armor or else Bryke is wrong and are terrible people.

Everybody loves to talk about how perfect Zuko's arc and development is. Zuko, who was one of the characters who most have suffered in the show. But for him all was necessary, had meaning, perfect storytelling and structure but with Korra.... "She cant suffer cuz she is brown"

And its not like Bryke was making something up outta nowhere just to torture the character. All she face it was a consequence direct or indirect of her actions and actions of other people.

Amon and the Equalists? Aang didnt kill Yakone nor put him in prison for life, just took his bending. Yakone was a terrible father, and one of the reason Amon hate bending (even himself been a waterbender) so much to the point of him do what he did. The same to Tarrlok. He turn his sons into monsters. And the triads only help them, because they use their bending to rob the non benders.

Vaatu? Look up The Beginning epsodes because this one is more complex.

Unalaq? Look, the worst villain of Avatar. But he took advantage of things that happen as consequences of the ending of book1

Zaheer? Direct consequence of that happen in the finale of book 2.

Kuvira? Direct consequence of things that happen in book 3

Again, i could go on and on and go deeper on all that. But this is already getting to big.

But what pissed me off most is ... Look im years in this fandom. As a Brazilian i saw and read stuff from the fandom here in my country and the fandom here in Tumblr. And in those years i read so much about how Korra journey help people overcome their struggles with ptsd, anxiety, depression...myself included. How much Korra was important to lesbians and bissexuals girls, especially girls of color.

And them we have those few people throw shit on all this and "cancel" you for not agree with them...

The Legend of Korra ended 2014, 6 years ago and still is so loved, so important to so many people, for the most diverse reasons.

For a cishet, Bryke did a amazing job creating this amazingly beautiful universe. With the most diverse inspirations, coming from places that are forgotten on western media. But i guess its easier criticize, and cancel them and the show than do what they did.

I know that sometimes we just wanted a scape from our difficult reality but seriously, if you Just want a movie/tv show/book...100% happy, rainbow and sunshine with no suffering at all, stick with the fanfics because even romcons sometimes have their among of "i you make you cry and suffer" kind of shit.

Suffer is present in our life and what a lot of movies/tv shows/games/books...try to do is bring our struggles and our suffering into them. Why? Its easier have simpathy for characters who look like us, characters who had been through the same stuff as us.

Is so difficult talk those things in another language. I always feel like i didnt express myself right. And im really sorry if i offended anyone, it wasnt my intention.

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yyxgin · 3 years

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no bar!! never fret about replying late. i know what it’s like to not want to talk to anyone. honestly. i won’t call it (my experience) a depressive episode bc one of my friends used to brush off me when i was saying things like i’m depressed and say ‘sad’ instead. like if i were to say ‘that made me/i am depressed’ she’d say something like ‘oh god same! like if it’s making you sad,, don’t do it.’ which is a v poor example of what she did but i never called it depressed after that bc she pissed me off n was disregarding of my feelings (even though she’s incredibly anxious herself) bc i didn’t get it officially diagnosed. idk if you’ve ever read about birth control pills but i always read on tumblr people calling them literal depression pills and i ignored it, thinking either 1) people were being dramatic / were over-dramatising it or 2) it wouldn’t happen to me anyway. it fucking happened and they were not being dramatic. i was never happy n always working on minimal sleep n making self depreciating jokes all the time bc it was the only way i could cope with my thoughts n constant mood swings. so what i’m trying to say is,, i know how it feels. if that’s any consolation. it’s not me trying to be ‘oh me too!’ or ‘mine was worse than you’ it’s just me being understanding n telling you it’s okay. also lemme at your friends!! i’ll stomp them out n get the barman to run them over for you!! they’re so mean to forget you!! i find that deciding i want to do something specific n then asking the appropriate people if they want to do saïd thing/place works for me. it can be a simple ‘we should do this, when are you free?’ helps. making it known that you want to do things helps. or aggressively remind them that it’s nice to be asked bc it means they thought of you even if you couldn’t go n tried to include you. or we can revisit me stomping them out w my beloved barman,,, whatever works best for you my dear <3

admittedly me and one of the girls were discussing that we are going to miss our manager. even though literally everyone moaned about her (i feel like it’s impossible to avoid in literally any job/situation) she did have her moments and she did a lot for the staff like after work-drinks, asking the chefs if we could order off of the customer menu instead of the staff menu or whatever they cook in bulk for everyone to take home in the evening. apparently she did this a lot more than the previous manager. she has a good heart but sometimes she ignored some of the girls when we ask for days off or our availability for the week which was very annoying of her. it could’ve been a lot worse, i suppose, but overall she wasn’t terrible.

thé lady who lives in my town and drops me given the chance, told me the other night that she used to be the duty manager. i asked her why she stopped and she explained that when they furloughed everyone they asked her to come back on like half pay or something? idk i just remember it being explained as they wanted her to come back sooner and take away her furlough so she said no and got demoted. but somehow she still gets some of the furlough? idk i have been taught that asking how much or discussing specifics of paychecks kind of thing is rude, growing up. she has been telling me they keep asking her to come back (now they’re asking her to be a supervisor since she declined the manager role) and she keeps saying no. i love her and want the best for her so i won’t say anything to anyone about the conversations me and her have had (i mean, apart from maybe my mum if i can remember, and you bc, let’s be real, you don’t know me and idk you) and she says they’re just difficult to work with as a management team. she even said our area manager isn’t impressed with our current assistant manager (who is currently the only person on an houred contract since our manager left) which shocked me since i personally think he is quite good considering he has a good relationship with the staff and kitchen (he’s thai so he can communicate with the kitchen better than most of the wait staff (some wait staff are thai but mostly not)) i think she doesn’t want to be the eldest person in management or she doesn’t want the age gap to be so big since she has a kid she can lecture at home, she doesn’t need to be looking after people at work, y’know?

also today, me and one of the girls were upstairs (two floors of the restaurant!) and it’s nearing 11pm and her brother (who also works there) comes up and asks us when we’re finishing (mostly her lol) but we had two tables just sitting talking amongst themselves so she just said idk. he was saying he wanted to go bc he’s tired etc n he’s driving n she was like it’s fine go home i’ll call an uber or something n he was refusing to leave her behind. (i feel like i brushed over the two tables sitting there but it must be noted they’re the only tables left in the entire restaurant and we were the only two wait staff still there, apart from her brother but he changed and was waiting downstairs). anyway, she was sweeping (i was cleaning the booth/sofa thingy chairs as it was a mundane task we could do to pass time and while she was sweeping by one of the tables thé boyfriend was whispering to his girlfriend saying ‘should we go?’ and the girlfriend said ‘why should i care?’ and the girl came over to tell me v quietly and i got so upset for her. bc she is literally the sweetest person on the earth and the only reason i didn’t go to ask the manager to see if i could go home with the lady who offers to take me (ex-duty manager lady!) was so she wasn’t alone up there. if i had been the one sweeping near that table i would’ve snapped so fucking hard at them. i mean, we’re 18 and have lives and sleep schedules, and we’re working until 11pm on a thursday before we even get home?? like i wouldn’t have minded staying if they were reasonable tables but after the gf said that i was like ‘shall i go get our stuff from the staff room?’ so i could split as fast as possible. in the end the temporary acting manager came up and told us we could finish and she kicked the tables out ten minutes later. i told her what the table saïd and she thought that was mean and unnecessary too. i was also worried about my sleep tonight since i have my first vaccine tomorrow morning. that’s why i was more pressed about what time i left work today. oh well.

im sorry for talking so much about work! sometimes i don’t have someone to talk to about it (at home) bc of my weird hours and sometimes i don’t like re-explaining things to my mum if she doesn’t get it the first seven times. sometimes it’s just a little too draining as she doesn’t understand since she’s a lifer at her job. it’s easier to explain to my dad but then i get a whole lecture on something that i ultimately have no control over n id rather just bitch w the girls at work but the problem is WE’RE AT WORK!!!

also i booked for my first tattoo!! i’m excited. it’s for next week,, which was super quick considering i was expecting to have to wait soooo much longer. i’ve been telling people about it and that it’s happening but i haven’t had the pleasure of telling people exactly where i got the idea from. bar, my dear, you know wheein’s new album, redd? well, it comes with loads of things, including these stickers (one for each song) and the one from springtime was just so perfect and when i saw it my first thought was, this would be a perfect tattoo. and so i am having it tattooed on my body. a subtle nod to kpop whilst also having something meaningful on my body. i also have just decided i want a small, minimalistic (or one-line art) rose on my sternum, kind of in the valley of my breasts, bc my nan was a rose. i like having her close to me. i recently got her necklace fixed which has left me feeling so incomplete after it broke in august last year. it’s been almost ten years and i think i’m long overdue something to remind me of her. i fiddle with my necklace when i’m nervous which is why i love it so much but incase it breaks again (i pray it doesn’t but i have a long life ahead of me) i would like her close still.

gosh there’s never enough space in my head to remember what i want to tell you so i’ll stop here for now since i should sleep to be able to wake up in time for my first jab. i’m scared but it’s whatever i’ll do it i suppose,, eeek 😨

ilyl ~ 🌻

thank you so much for opening up to me about this, it means a lot to me :( i am so sorry you had to go through this and honestly,, i really resonate with you. i feel like when i talk about my emotions and my sadness (dont know if its okay to call it depression either but yea), my friend either always either makes me feel like my emotions arent valid or she tells me she doesnt know how to help, which is frankly, why i dont talk about my emotions to people irl anymore. i dont open up and it takes me a long long time to do so if i ever do, because i tend to feel insecure/not safe :D so really, thank you for telling me and i hope you are doing better. your emotions are valid and i am always here for you

HAHAHA i mean i dont have many friends so theres not many to stomp on:( but i mean,, i get passive aggressive when i feel forgotten/left out so you best believe i told my friend how im feeling, but like uhhh it didnt do much. i spent the whole weekend at work and i was free on friday but my friend decided to ditch me and yeah. i havent been out in like two weeks now and i mean i am an introvert so i dont mind that much but even i want to socialise sometimes

aah i mean every manager has their flaws, no one’s perfect. my manager keeps calling me to go to work even though i was literally there for 11 hours on saturday AND sunday which means i worked for 20 hours in two days. and i work 20 hours a week at max. and i already worked some hours before the weekend so i think i have like 30 hours now and she keeps calling??? dude i need a break too,,i am so exhausted and tired of this shit :dd

oh i totally get what the lady that drops you off sometimes told you. i would feel a little iffy if i heard it too, but like,,,judge by your own experiences!! if you feel like something is off, you can always leave,, so i wouldn’t be so stressed about it.

why are people so rude ??? dude,,you should care, because we are all human. everyone has their needs and their lives and i bet he wouldnt like it if he was the one in your place. why should you stay there longer just because he didnt want to leave?? that was so unnecessary. people are weird beings and i learnt that after working with them this weekend,,,like i litereally got screamed at because i couldnt accept cash in different currency. like,,what tf do you want me to do?? i dont have every single currency with me so i could give u the change ?? tf ??

ALSO ITS OKAY TALK ABOUT YOUR WORK HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT !!!! i also feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about work bc my parents dont listen to me as much as they used to these days and my friend unsurprisingly just doesnt care bc she doesnt work,, and i dont wanna talk to my internet friends abt it as much bc i feel annoying so i am glad us two can talk about these things together !!!!

YOUR FIRST TATTOOOO WHOAAAH thats so cool. i love tattoos hihi dfkja idk if u already had the appointment but tell me how it went after !! i wasnt able to find the sticker on the internet but im sure it looks hella pretty. also i love how it reminds you both of kpop and your grandma, its wonderful <3 i really want to get a tattoo one day,, and i also want something meaningful (not that i am hating on people that tattoo themselves just for fun and have no meaning behind their tattoos i just have commitment issues so i want something long lasting). alSO my crush (yes i have a crush now ew) has a tattoo and it looks like satan lowkey,,but apparently its a japanese something (i forgot the word oopsies) and it means jealousy, bad past and wisdom ?? i was like BOY IF U DONT??? fjdkla he has blue hair btw i am very much whipped but he also doesnt know me and i am older than him so this is embarrassing

ALSO I HOPE YOURE FEELING WELL AFTER GETTING THE VACCINE !!!

ily <333

#💌ask #🌻 anon

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diddlesanddoodles · 4 years

Text

Dumpling ch 25

Three parts muddled meadowsweet, two parts crushed licorice root, one part muddled ginger, and seven parts vinegar. Steeped for a week and dilute with honey water before consuming to sooth the discomfort caused by heartburn.

“Probably the most widely used tincture here,” Farris told her. “We have plenty still in storage, so there’s time enough fer ya to learn it proper like.”

He gave her the already measured out ingredients and had her simply practice muddling them in the mortar, which was a hard enough task in and of itself. The stone pestle was heavy and she needed both hands to proper grasp it. She had only just been working at it a few minutes with Farris watching over her when his laugh broke her concentration. He was shaking his head and she furrowed her brows at him.

“This is hard!” she proclaimed defensively.

“Ah, thought it looked easy, did ye?”

“It’s really heavy...” she whined. “And you’re a lot stronger than I am...”

“Oi, yer not quitin’ on me are ye, gal?”

She frowned at him stubbornly. “No!”

He seemed pleased with her answer. “Good. Now keep at it,” he told her with a jerk of his head in an encouraging gesture. He left her then to her own work and with a stubborn determination, she pressed on. Once the flowers and ginger had been mashed to the consistency that Farris wanted, she scooped it out into bucket. After rinsing the bowl with some vinegar, she used the pestle to smash up the licorice root. It only needed to be broken open to proper steep later so it was not quite as arduousness. The jar of vinegar was as tall as she was and filled almost to the top. She had to climb onto an overturned ramekin to to be able to reach high enough to dump the ingredients. She watched the debris of the flowers and crushed ginger slowly float down while the licorice root dropped fairly fast and settled at the bottom. For something meant to make a person feel better, it sure smelled bad. The smell of ginger was not too awful, only that it was pungent and clung to her fingers, but she did not care at all for the smell of the licorice. When Farris returned to check on her, her held the jar up to the light and hummed approvingly. “Not terrible fer ya first go at it.”

He sealed the jar and put it away inside a chest with other similar jars. For the rest of the day, Farris had her working on more of the meadowseet tinctures until she was able to make it from start to finish on her own and only needed Farris to fill a jar with vinegar for her and seal it once it was done. Nenani found it oddly pleasant change of pace for Farris to actually be pleased by something she did rather than exasperated.

…………………………….

In the end, Farris declined to attend Gregis’s funeral, but sent his condolences and several gifts of foodstuffs with the attending Vhasshalan party as well as a message to the presumptive successor, Warrick.

“It’ll be a day or so before he sends any message back,” Farris was telling Bart. “I’m not sure how much Gregis shared with ‘im about the arrangements, so the sooner he’s up to speed the better.”

“When do you expect t’ be making another trip?”

“Next week at the earliest,” Farris answered. “Unless Keral hears anythin’ different, but he’s got a tick up ‘is arse about somethin’ else and hasn’t answered my last note.”

“Seems like they’ve been much quieter this year. Not as many. Might be a sign that they’re finally stoppin’.”

“Aye. Had ourselves a dozen or so this time last year. We’re only sittin’ on four or so now. Five if ya include the Dumplin’.”

Bart let out a breathy snort through his nose. “Wouldn’t count her in the lot. She came to us by basket, not the markets.”

“Not much difference,” Farris replied. “If they’d ‘a found her at any point during the journey, she wouldn’t be here right now. Could have very well ended up in that market.”

“Well, best be thankin’ whatever stars she was born under that it didn’t happen that way.”

Farris nodded. “Believe me, Bart. I do.”

…………………….

By the morning Jae arrived to drag her on a tunnel exploration, Nenani had all but forgotten about the entire conversation they had regarding that very thing. She had just finished her ninth successful tincture when he suddenly popped up on the table next to her. He wasn’t wearing his fine clothing and instead had opted for his preferred outfit of trousers and a tunic. She jumped when his head suddenly popped up from the table’s edge and he loudly greeter her. “MORNING!”

“Ah!” the empty bucket she had been holding went flying and bounced several times before rolling off the side of the table. From the next prep table over, Avery was loudly laughing.

“You scared me!” she whirled on Jae as he climbed up, breathlessly laughing.

“Oh boy,” he said, brushing off the front of his shirt. “I really got you good.”

She threw a piece of licorice root at him and he turned away just as it hit his upper shoulder. He was still giggling like an idiot as she walked over to the edge of the table and looked down to see her bucket in the grass far below.

“Forget it,” Jae told her. “Besides, we got tunnels to explore today, remember?”

She bristled, having done just that. Forget, that is.

“Can’t,” she replied simply. “I’m making tinctures.”

Jae looked over at her set up and tiled his head at her curiously. “Uh...why?”

“Farris gave me a job,” she replied proudly, sitting down next to her mortar and pestle and began to break meadowsweet into manageable pieces and dropping them into the bowl. He watched her for a moment as she ground the blossoms.

“He’s having you make heartburn tonic?”

“Yeah.”

“Hm.” Jae didn’t say anything else and just quietly sat down. Propping his head up in his hands, he watched her work and was quiet for several long moments. She glanced at him periodically, viewing him with deep suspicion. But he simply sat there, placid and still. Behind him, Nenani noticed Kol walking over with a bucket of water to fill up one of the cauldrons. His eyes briefly glanced their way, but he continued on with his work.

“So, how long will it take?” Jae asked finally. “Until you’re done, I mean.”

She shrugged noncommittally. “Until he tells me to stop.”

Her eyes caught sudden movement and she turned to see Kol standing behind Jae, a wicked smirk playing on his lips while Jae remained ever unaware. Jae opened his mouth to say something just as Kol slammed both of his hands down on either side of the boy and shouted, “MORNIN’!”

“SON-OF-A-!” Jae jumped and scrambling to his feet, but slipped and just ended up face flat on the table. Above him, Kol doubled over as he belly laughed himself to the point of not being able to breathe.

“Fuck you, Kol,” Jae said, making a rude gesture in the cook’s direction. “Just...fuck you.”

“Sorry, lad,” Kol said once he was able to breathe. “I couldn’t not...”

Jae pushed himself up onto his elbows and sighed. “Get all our jollies out?”

Kol smirked and put his finger to his lips in mock consideration. “Hm...not sure yet. Might be - AH!”

Farris smacked a hand across the back of Kol’s head as he walked up behind him. “Get back to it, Kol. Ye can pester the humans after ye done yer fuckin’ job.”

Jae did nothing to mute the very satisfied grin as Kol walked away, nursing his sore head. And then winced when Farris tapped him on the head, just hard enough to smart.

“As fer you, lad,” Farris continued. “Won’t Donal be missin’ ya? Or ya shirkin’ yer new job already?”

“I’m not shirking anything,” Jae replied. “It’s my day off.”

Farris grunted. “Must be nice.”

“Oh, don’t give me that. Not my fault you never actually take yours. And don’t say you don’t have them, because I’ve seen your contract,” Jae said, pushing himself to his feet. “In any case, I’m hear to steal your ward for the day.”

Farris raised an eyebrow at him. “Oh? And where might ya be stealin’ her off to?”

Jae grinned. “We’re gonna go look for dead people in the tunnels.”

The particular face that Farris made was one Nenani was not familiar with. He looked equal parts horrified, angry, and incredulous. “Yer fuckin’ what?”

Nenani buried her face in her hands, groaning. “Jae, it sounds bad when you say it like that.”

“And just what other fuckin’ ways are there fer ya to say that it don’t sound bad?” the giant demanded. “And what do ya mean by dead people in the tunnels?”

“That day she lost her marker?” Jae explained, sounding far too excited. “Yeah, she found some other tunnel and there was this room full of dead people. Like...graves. Old ones. Human. We’re gonna go find it.”

Farris pinned Nenani with a look. “And just when were ya gonna say anythin’ about this, hm?”

She squirmed under his gaze and when she didn’t answer him, he shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Gods piss on it...”

“So, can I borrow her for a bit?” Jae asked, his face pleading.

“So long as ya bring her back before sundown,” Farris replied gruffly and then pulled a slip of paper from his apron. He carefully rolled it up and then held it out to Jae. “And ya can be givin’ this to Maevis fer me while yer at it. Yer day off be damned.”

Jae eagerly reached out and grabbed the roll of parchment and tucked it under his arm, giving the spice master a lazy salute. “Can do, Farris.”

…………………………………………

Nenani regretted not speaking out to say that she was in fact very uninterested in trying to find the catacombs again. She was sure Farris would have told Jae to bugger off or something if she had said so. She really needed to learn to speak up more.

“After I drop this with Maevis,” Jae was saying. “I figured we could start near the tapestry you described and try to find the door you left from.”

“Okay,” she said. “But, just...if is it alright with you if we do find it that...that I don’t go in?”

Jae looked at her. “Uh, yeah. I guess. Why?”

She frowned and stared at the floor pensively. “They...kind of...sort of...spoke to me.”

Jae did not say anything and she could feel his eyes on her and she was beginning to feel real unease until at last he spoke. “Huh. That’s kind of neat. What did they say?”

“Huh? Oh,” she said, taken aback by his lack of surprise. “The gold prophecy. The one about the King.”

“So...you think you might have a bit of foresight then?” he asked her and then laughed. “Well, I guess it wouldn’t be foresight since it’s already happened. What makes you able to talk to dead people? Necromancy?”

“Why is it funny?”

“It’s because the gold prophecy is a joke,” he told her. “You either believe it wholeheartedly or think it’s complete bunk. Most folks I know tend think it’s bunk.”

“I don’t even understand what it’s even saying.”

“It stars with ‘The river runs uphill to the dying songs of the fall of fools and Kings that tear flesh from bone and the crown from the mountain.’ That’s suppose to be about the murder of Prince Thadeus and the Blood King declaring war on Silvaara. The next bit is ‘Water runs red with fire and shall rise when the old blood runs new.’ The interpretation I’ve heard most about is that it’s about the battle of Riftside where the Fire Mages set the Daehil river on fire to stop the Vhasshal advancement. One of Warren’s brothers died there. The last part is ‘The flesh taken will be paid in blood and the dead walls will rise with gold.’ This one everyone seems to agree is about the Blood King being usurped and Warren taking the throne. And that’s why everyone calls him the Gold King. But never call him that to his face. He really doesn’t like it.”

“Why does he hate it so much?” she asked.

“Lots of reasons,” Jae replieed. “But I think he hates it because it reminds him of what his father and brothers did. They committed genocide and reinstated the act of eating humans. He hates it because even though they did all that terrible stuff, they were still his family and he still loved them. Probably still misses them too.”

A heavy silence fell between them as Nenani mulled over Jae’s words. She supposed it would really hard on someone to still love a person who did terrible things. It was probably really hard to mourn them. But her thoughts were interrupted by their arrival at the library. Upon entering, Nenani was greeted by the distinct smell of parchment and ink.

“Hey Barnaby!” Jae called as they began to climb the human stairs carved into the table’s center support that led up onto Barnaby’s workspace. “I’ve got a message for Maevis from Farris. Can I leave it with you?”

“Absolutely, my boy. Come on up!” came the somewhat muffled response from the archivist. They stepped onto the table top and made their way to where Barnaby was sitting at a human sized table and drinking a cup of tea. Belatedly, they realized he wasn’t alone. Another human was sitting with their backs to them, also enjoying a cup of tea. Suddenly Jae stopped and Nenani bumped into him.

“Oof, ah. Sorry,” she said and looking at Jae’s face, she frowned. “Uh...Jae?”

He was staring wide eyed at the stranger and Nenani glanced their way just as they turned around in their chair.

“M...Maevis?!” Jae asked incredulously. Nenani starred uncomprehending. The man who sat in the chair did look like Maevis. He wore the same maroon robes and his hands were gloved and he had the same round amiable face and brown hair. But...he was tiny! Well, tiny for a Vhasshalan. He was as tall as a human and had they never met before, Nenani would have never known he was actually a giant. Still with the rolled up note tucked under his arm, Jae ran over to the table to stop by Maevis’s side. The magician was grinning at Jae’s slack jaws expression. “You...you’re...”

“...smaller?” Maevis finished with a knowing smile. “Amazing isn’t it? I’ve been working on my shrinking spells for years now, but I’ve finally found the proper methods to shrink myself. What do you think?”

Jae’s eye lit up with enthusiasm and excitement. “You look ridiculous!” Jae told him with a laugh. “I mean...wow. This is actually amazing. Not that you don’t do amazing spells already, but...this is so much more...wow.”

“Thank you, Jae,” Maevis replied with a bright smile and patting the boy on his arm. “I’m happy to know I have your approval.”

Jae suddenly recalled the note and held it out for Maevis with a smile of amused smugness. “This is for you. Sorry it’s a little more cumbersome than you’re use to.”

Maevis’s made a face as he took the rolled up note, it’s size awkward at his new height, and for several moments he floundered on what to do with it. Finally, he set it to lean against the table. “Oh. Thank you, Jae. I...I will read it later. I have a feeling I know what it is.”

Jae immediately slipped into one of the other spare seats and started in on Maevis with his questions. “So? How weird is it to be small?”

Maevis shook his head indulgently and spared his young companion a warm smile. “The first time I succeeded in shrinking myself it was horribly disorienting. That and the fact that the potion did the trick in shrinking my body, but...well, it does not work on clothing.”

Jae snorted into his hands.

“So I had to use the shrinking spell in line with the shrinking potion and get the ratios just right. Endlessly challenging, but such a triumph to have succeeded! And I must say how wonderful a feeling it is to be able to talk with you all on equal footing. I imagine craning your neck up at us all day long becomes quite tiresome.”

“Neck pain is just an inevitability,” Jae shrugged. “Why do you think I hang out on shelves so much? Oh, hey, Nenani, come over here. It’s just Maevis. He won’t bite. Plus he’s smaller so it wouldn’t be as bad even if he did.”

Nenani hadn’t realized that she had not moved at all and when Maevis turned to look at her over his shoulder, his face enigmatic, she had a brief moment where all she saw was not the sweet man before her, but the hard lined face of an angry Vhasshalan magician as he burned an attacking wyvern to cinders. A pain throbbed between her eyes and she winced, holding her head as an incomprehensible chant echoed in her head. She heard a chair squeal as it was pushed out from the table and rushed footsteps. Gentle hands gripped her shoulders and Maevis knelt down in front of her.

“Does it still pain you, little one?” he asked softly, his honey colored eyes soft and concerned. He gently ran his gloved hand across her forehead. “I have some tonic for the pain...”

“I’m okay,” she said, blinking rapidly as though to wave the lingering ache between her eyes away. “It’s gone now.”

He stared into her face as though trying to determine if she was lying, but then he closed his eyes with a resigned sigh. “Good.” he said. “I would hate to think you’re wandering around the castle if you should still be in your recovery bed.”

“I’m alright,” she said and when he raised an eyebrow at her she protested. “I am! Ask Sawyer!”

“No need,” Maevis chuckled. The sleeve of his maroon robe fell back and Nenani could see the bandages still wrapped around his arm. “I’m sure she took excellent care of you.”

“Maevis?” She asked timidly, the evidence of his injury making her insides squirm. “I actually wanted to thank you. For saving me from the Wyvern.”

The magician looked startled for a moment and then smiled at her, but it seemed forced. Sad even. “Oh. Oh, my dear. You do not have to thank me.”

“Yes I do!” she insisted. “You were really brave and I’m sorry you got hurt because of me.”

Maevis cupped his hands around her face and laughed. “You’re terribly sweet, Nenani,” he told her and bristled when she wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight hug. “Ah-!”

“Thank you,” she said softer, her voice muffled by his robes. She felt his hands wrap around her to return the hug and his laugh shake her just a little.

“I believe this is the first time I’ve ever hugged a human. Properly at least.”

“OH MY GOD!” Jae suddenly yelled, startling them all badly. Poor Barnaby who had been silently drinking from his tea cup jumped and sent the cup flying through the air before gravity pulled it back down and it shattered on the floor.

“What’s wrong?” Maevis asked standing up and pulling Nenani to his side protectively, his face full of worry. “Jae?”

“I just had the best idea!” Jae said with excitement and then looked over to see Barnaby kneeling on the floor and picking up the shattered cup. “Ah! Sorry Barnaby. Let me help.”

“My goodness young master Jae,” Barnaby said as the young man started cleaning up the spilled tea with a rag. “What was that hullabaloo all about?”

“Oh! Yeah, so my idea!” Jae turned to Maevis, his eyes bright with unbridled energy. “You should come explore the tunnels with us today. You never could because...well, you were too big. But now you’re small!”

“Explore the tunnels?” Maevis asked, confused but intrigued. “I would have thought you were the expert on the tunnels.”

“I am,” Jae replied with a prideful smirk and then pointed to Nenani. “But she found a corridor I didn’t know about...”

“Jae,” she whined, already knowing where he was going. “Please don’t...”

“...and there was a room full of dead people!”

Barnaby slowly stood with the broken tea cup in his hands, regarding Jae as though he were concerned that he had lost his mind. Maevis had an equally bewildered expression.

“Please find a better way of explaining it,” Nenani begged him. “It sounds so bad when you just say it like that.”

“Nah,” Jae replied with an impish grin. “The reactions are the best part.”

“Alrigtht,” Maevis said, his tone oddly serious. He placed his hand gently on Nenani’s shoulder and steered her to stand next to Jae so he could look at them both. “What exactly do you mean by ‘room full of dead people’?”

“There’s a catacomb,” Jae said. “A bunch of old graves and bones.”

“Vhassalan graves?”

“No,” Jae replied. “That’s the weird thing. She said they’re human graves.”

Maevis looked into Nenani’s face, his eyes seeking. “Is this true? You found a human catacomb in the tunnels?” Nenani squirmed under the scrutiny and wished she had never said anything at all.

“Nenani, dear?” he pressed.

“She’s just scared because they spoke to her,” Jae said. Maevis closed his eyes and sighed in restrained irritation.

“Jae, my boy. I appreciate that you are only trying to help,” he said sternly, but tried to keep his voice measured. “But I need to hear her speak. Please.”

The young man blushed and nodded, slipping into a chair. “Sorry.”

“Now,” Maevis said gently. “Nenani?”

She bit her lip nervously. “When Creag chased us that day and I got lost. I found an entrance to the tunnels, but when I went inside there weren’t any orbs or light at all.” Maevis did not say anything, but lightly inclined his head in clear encouragement to continue. “And I kind of walked around in the dark for a little bit and then this torch just...kind of lit up.”

The magician’s eyes narrowed as he considered her words. “A torch?”

She nodded. “But the fire was weird. It didn’t burn and wasn’t hot and didn’t...really look like fire.”

“How do you mean?”

“It was...kind of wavy, but...like this,” she moved her hand back and forth, trying to imitate the way she remembered the flames slowly danced. Maevis’s expression made her nervous. “And there were more of them and the when I got to the end, there was a big room with holes in the walls and...there were bones inside. People.”

Maevis rubbed his chin pensively as he contemplated what she had said. “And you say they...spoke to you?”

She bit her lip and nodded. “Yes.”

“What did they tell you?”

“...they just kept repeating the Gold Prophecy.”

Maevis’s serious and thoughtful composure slipped and he looked at her with an expression of incredulity. “What? That old thing again?”

She only shrugged, her brows furrowed. She looked down at her feet, her hands wringing. “It’s everywhere...”

“Nenani,” he said patiently, cupping her cheek and bending down to look her in the eye. “I know such things sound terribly frightening. And that is not to say they cannot be dangerous. But it is important to remember this about prophecies: they are often lies wrapped in a thin veil of truth.”

“But why did they speak to me?” she asked, feeling the prickle of tears forming at the corner of her eyes.

The magician’s eyes softened and he looked at her sadly. “Do you remember when you asked me to evaluate whether you had been cursed?”

“Yes,” she said. “I do.”

“Well, my dear child, I am afraid I was not completely honest with you at the time. It is true what I said; there isn’t a speck of malignant magic about you,” he was quick to explain, but then paused as though mulling something over in his head. He sighed deeply and told her, “...but you are touched by magic.”

“...touched?” she asked quietly, not understanding him.

“Yes. Those who are touched by magic often draw arcane forces to them under no fault of their own. Magic is attracted to magic by its very nature the same way two water droplets will pull towards one another as they fall down a pane of glass. And wild magic can be very damaging if proper protections are not put into place. I believe that may be why your village thought you were cursed.”

She opened her mouth to say something, but it died on her lips.

“Now, you have not done anything wrong, little one. I need to you understand and believe it. I do not know why these graves are there or who they use to be,” Maevis brushed his finger under her eye to wipe away a tear. “But you do not need to fear them. If these spirits had any ill will or intentions, I would know about it.” He paused and then said, “They may even be trying to help you.”

“It won’t go away,” she whispered, her throat feeling tight and it was hard to speak. “I hear it everywhere. In my dreams. All the time. And then the attack happened and….he came. In my dreams, they said he would come and he did. I don’t know what they want. Keral doesn’t think he’s after me, but I can’t help but think it. I’m scared, Maevis. The smoke mage...he scares me so much.”

Maevis pulled her into his arms and tucked her head into his shoulder as she shook with emotion and fear. “The Smoke Mage will never get close enough to harm anyone. And by the Gods, I most certainly won’t let him ever harm you.”

She could hear the distant clang of metal upon metal and her uncle screaming at the smoke mage as they battled on the boat. Her heart ached as she recalled the image of her dear uncle’s face as he bled out and his bright eyes fall dull and dark. His kindness and strength had felt immeasurable to her back then. But he died. Like so many others. Like her father... and mother...

“...I think he killed my uncle.” Her voice was so low that she wasn’t even certain she had said the words. But she felt Maevis’s arms around her stiffen. She started to weep into the maroon robes. “I don’t think Keral is right anymore. But I really wanted him to be right because I know he would do his best to find the Smoke Mage and stop him and I know you are too, but...”

“Nenani...”

“...he’s looking for me,” she sobbed. “He’s trying to find me. But I don’t know why!”

The arms round her shifted and she was unexpectedly swept up into the magician’s arms. He held her tightly and swayed back and forth, whispering sweet nothings into her ear and for a moment, she could almost pretend he was her uncle and not a temporarily shrunk Vhasshalan magician. “Shh. No tears, little one. Shh...oh, you poor child.”

“This Smoke Mage is a mad man,” Barnaby said, his face hard and pensive. He had been mostly silents, content to watch and observe, but there was pain in his eyes. “He has power yes. But he is still human and only one at that. He can be stopped.”

“The might of Vhasshal is behind us,” Maevis said to them all, still rocking Nenani. “He will not succeed in whatever his intentions are.” He spoke to Nenani then, voice quiet and reassuring. “My dear, think of all the people who love you; Farris, Yale, everyone in the Kitchens. Lolly, Barnaby and I. Jae here. We will not let him harm you.”

Maevis lowered her into one of the chairs and pulled a handkerchief from his breast pocket, wiping her face and petting her hair as she composed herself.

“I don’t want anyone to get hurt,” she told him, tears pouring out of her.

“Nor will they.”

“How can you know?”

“It is my intention to uncover his machinations,” Maevis told her firmly, a flash of the hard faced man returning. “What purpose he has for you, I do not know. But Keral and I intend to find out. And perhaps we will start with these catacombs of yours. They may offer us some clues. Perhaps they may even lead us in the right direction, if the bones feel exceptionally chatty today.”

#Dumpling #G/t story #Fantasy #writing #g/t #giant #Vhasshal #Maevis #Barnaby #Jae #Farris #Nenani #Kol #hurt/comfort

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