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the1975attheirverybest · 10 months

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TEN YEARS

A/N: Since it's looking like we won't be getting a livestream of the Leeds show tonight, and since I have a crazy few days coming up starting tomorrow, I wanted to post a little something to keep y'all happy while I get my schedule together and to also celebrate ST and last night! short, sweet, no plot, just vibes.

Warnings: none, except maybe typos (i have no clue where my glasses are)

----

She could hear her heartbeat in her ears despite the chattering crowds all around her. "Excuse me- could I just" mumbling apologies as she squeezed past the masses of giddy, sweaty, emotional, and excited fans. She could blame the ones who were struggling to keep from crying, or the ones who were immediately recounting the events they'd just witnessed onstage for fear of their memories eroding as the night came to a close, or maybe to make sure that what they'd experienced was actually real, that other people saw it too. In fact, she felt the same way and would've wanted to stick around and take it all in, if it weren't for her insatiable desire to lay her hands on Matty as soon as humanly possible.

She felt the butterflies flutter in her stomach, her anticipation and impatience spurred on by the glimpses and fragments of conversation that reached her ears from people around her.

"He looked so good in that leather jacket-" someone behind her had observed.

"I'm glad he took it off though. Cuz, arms? hello!"

somewhere from the center of the crowd, an overstimulated, antsy woman yelled out,

"but can we talk about Ross's hair?! I love him."

"I mean, I knew they weren't going to play antichrist, cuz Matty is evil, but at least give us fallingforyou?"

"bro, no matter what he does, you're never happy. he can't win at this point."

"ten years! it's been ten years! 2014 me, scrolling black and white tumblr would lose her shit if he could see this."

the smile that had plastered across her face grew wider with every comment she overheard. Though the walk to the backstage area wasn't long earlier in the day, when she'd wandered around, watching the backline tech and the crew set things up, right now, it felt miles away. Finally, too impatient to do things responsibly, she jumped the safety barrier and landed on the other side. giggling to herself as she sprinted to find the boys.

Her airy giggles broke into a fit of laughter when she spotted the four of them, dress in all black, huddled into a corner, whispering and laughing like children. Matty turned around at the clomping of her footsteps, a grin on his face.

"Babe-" was all he'd managed to say before she'd jumped into his arms with the full force of her body, laughing uncontrollably into his ear as she panted, breathless.

Matty's arms wrapped around her waist, picking her up, off the floor, and spinning around in circles, giggling until they were both dizzy.

"You- you did it!" was the first thing she could think to say, still out of breath and heaving, she pressed her lips to his, clumsily crashing into him. Her feet unsteady, and her head still dizzy, she chuckled when their teeth collided.

Remnants of Matty's aftershave still clung to his shirt. She could taste the cigarettes he'd smoked onstage and the drink he'd sipped on. She buried her face into him for a moment, leaning her body against his as she came down from the adrenalin high, then, with her feet firmly on the ground, she turned to face the boys.

"Congratulations! how're we feeling?"

chatter broke out again as they interrupted each other, answering her questions, describing the view from the stage, George boasting that his drum riser was the best spot up there, and Matty, restless as ever, re-enacting his moves.

"Ross, I, um, have some news." she looked up into his eyes, a gentle hand pressed on top of his. "Two people were injured, five lost consciousness. Your hair killed the entire front row." Ross's initial concern gave way to an innocent laugh, his head tilted upwards, his pearlescent smile drawing a dimple on his cheek.

"He knows, he knows." Adam patted Ross's back prompting Matty to reach over and pull the hair tie out of ross's hair. "glorious lions mane. He does it for the ladies."

***

She couldn't help but smile against the soft fabric of Matty's hoodie, clinging to him harder and letting her body sway along with his as he danced to the Killer's song from the side of the stage.

"Sorry, I'll calm down." Matty whispered down to her.

"No, no! Please don't. I love it when you like the music."

Hw wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her body against his and moving them both to the rhythm of the music.

"Matty? You happy?" she looked up at his eyes and saw his answer before he even spoke.

"So happy."

"Good. I mean, you looked like you were having fun up there."

"'course I was. I mean, we used to come here as kids-"

George laid a hand on his shoulder squeezing it lightly, "oh, here it comes." playfully rolling his eyes.

"same old story." Ross mumbled.

"oh about how he came to Reading instead of picking up exam results?" Adam giggled.

Matty laughed, telling them to fuck off, before looking back down at her. "Yeah, I'm happy."

"And you get to do it all again tomorrow." she planted a kiss on his cheek.

"I know. How lucky am I?"

#matty healy #matty healy one shot #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fanfic #matty healy x y/n #matty healy x reader #matty healy x you

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theelvenhaven · 9 months

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Comforting Glorfindel

Having an Anxiety Attack

Request: If there's still headcanon slots available and one of these ideas strikes you: maybe how Glorfindel and/or Penlod would react to reader having an anxiety flair up where their normal coping mechanisms aren't working and they need extra help (platonic or romantic)? Or if that doesn't strike you, maybe vice versa where they need help from reader? I haven't been on Tumblr recently so I'm about to scroll through your blog and play catch up. Looking forward to reading what I've missed/what's coming up! I hope you're well ❤️

A/N: I decided to do this vice versa, and comfort one of our beloveds for a change. So I hope you enjoy! <;3

*****

♕ Glorfindel isn't afraid of his feelings, but he does struggle with showing his most vulnerable emotions with anyone, especially when it makes him feels so weak.

♕ Not to mention Glorfindel doesn't want to worry you about what the toll of war has taken out from him.

♕ Glorfindel will often try and put on a stronger persona in an effort to try and soothe any concerns that you may have about him.

♕ But that doesn't mean that despite all his best efforts that anxiety attacks don't creep up on him.

♕ Usually he can feel when they're about to happen, and he is quick to dismiss himself from the public place if he can.

♕ Even if you try to press if he's okay, he will only assure you he is as he hurries away.

♕ Following him out is the only way you're going to come face to face with the fact that he's having a panic attack.

♕ At first Glorfindel doesn't realize that you've followed him out, so he begins to loosen his collar and breathe shakily and heavily, his hands starting to shake and feeling like he can't breathe.

♕ By the time he turns to see if he's alone, it's too late to hide his symptoms from you, that you recognize immediately for what it is.

♕ Glorfindel is used to having deal with these himself, and he doesn't have the best coping skills, so at first he tries to thwart you from helping him.

♕ But if you persist, albeit, gently Glorfindel gives in as you reach for his hands and gently help him sit on the ground.

♕ You sit in between his legs as he cries and shakes, trying to catch his breath, helping him take slow deep breaths guiding him through it.

♕ At first Glorfindel is a bit hesitant, but your voice and the feel of your hands in his is just so soothing and he starts to listen to what you're saying.

♕ Especially as you reassure him he's safe, and that everything's going to be okay.

♕ IF anything Glorfindel is also panicking that you're going to be mad at him for having kept something like this from you and he profusely apologizes between the tears and his shaky breathing.

♕ Reassuring him calmly that it's okay, and that you're far from mad at him helps ease the anxiety, he is very receptive to your words as he trusts you implicitly.

♕ Glorfindel doesn't just respond to verbal affection and soothing, he also responds well to physical affection.

♕ Now that he knows you're not mad at him, or that you're not going to embarrass him, Glorfindel will take the opportunity to lean forward and rest his head against your shoulder and hold you close to him.

♕ When you embrace him back, he loves the feel of one arm around his neck and the other carding through his hair.

♕ It makes him feel safe and protected, even if he's the one that has to do the protecting more often than not.

♕ Holding him like this, and rocking him gently helps lift the weight off his shoulders and he rests his body weight against you- carefully.

♕ His symptoms start to die down slowly.

♕ Glorfindel's breathing becomes even, his hands stop shaking, he feels more relaxed but tired and most importantly comforted by you.

♕ He's internally kicking himself for not having brought this to your attention sooner, as going through it with you there to help him has made it a less stressful experience.

♕ As you start to check in on him asking if he's okay, Glorfindel is sheepish and confesses to you that he is not okay but he does feel better having you there with him.

♕ He doesn't part from you, but instead clings to you tightly as if he's afraid to let you go.

♕ Finally Glorfindel will start to open up to you, especially as you start to question him and what was going on.

♕ He explains to you what set him off, how long he's been suffering through these still clinging to you.

♕ Glorfindel tells you how much he loves you, and thanks you profusely for your patience with him and your lack of judgement over his predicament.

♕ Your reminder to him that of course you'd do this for him, and that you love him and his partner warms his heart.

♕ Glorfindel knows he's got his perfect one, being with you and the fact that you'd go out of your way selflessly to care for him when he was so vulnerable.

****

Tags: @saviorsong @lilmelily @dicksoutformtl @fandomhoe101 @celebrimbor-telperinquar @red-riding @miriel-estelwen @ta-ka-shi-ma @nerdysimpy @thegirlwithoutaname87 @spidergirla5 @eunoiaastralwings @eternalabysss @noldorinpainter

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kendrixtermina · 6 months

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Giving Doctor Who a New Chance, Part 1: The Star Beast

I like how in the opener the Doctor ends up running into Donna due to plain old Chronic Hero syndrome, rushing towards someone who looks like they needed help

I appreciate that we got a realtime example of Donna just missing a spaceship

her concern with stacking properly is a good establishing moment for viewers who maybe don't know her yet

It's interesting how Donna ended up giving away the money - not doing what he thought she would do

Making Donna's kid trans was a great move now that the UK is known as a rather trans-hostile place

sylvia is interesting - she seems like someone who feels guilty but is sort of going overboard with overcompensating for it rather than truly helping

badass protective - which is probably how Donna would be as a mom, some of the character development stuck despite the memory wipe, small-minded

Another Unit Scientific Advisor!

You can tell the Doctor is having a tough time with how he spills his problems to the Unit lady. Though you can also see 14 isn't quite like 10, not quite as emotionally constipated. 12 had this whole arc about spitting out the words though then chibnall didn't do anything with cause he couldn't write characters to save his life. I guess 13 was supposed to look like his (franky offensive, carricaturish) idea of a private person? At least this keeps the tendency of each incarnation being a contrast to their predecessor. Insofar as 13 had enough personality to be contrasted. Chibnalls characters are all emotionless planks of wood - and I'll better stop ranting now

i like the unit lady

It's a charming detail how Rose sells things on etsy. I betcha anything she has a tumblr

// war flashback to Ryan's increbliy generic youtube channel that was never used to characterize him in any way & then forgotten about //, & the detail is added in a kind of loving, relatable way whereas Chibnall kinda mocked the guy for listening to affirmations, for example

Ah it's so nice to have actual CHARACTERIZATION again

Like this just told us that Rose Noble is creative, but also feels responsibility to help her parents.

And her making little plush aliens is immediately lied to her feeling lonely & alienated because of how she's bullied

CONSISTENCY beyond just what is currently needed for the plot yes please. This should be the bare minimum but Chibnall went 8 episodes without giving Yasmin ANY defining traits or moments

So nice to have CHARACTERS with EMOTIONs and TRAITS

I just KNEW the Doctor was getting another Mom slap the moment the moment he showed up

the definite article XD I got that reference, esp in what looks like an Unit episode

oh noes theyre shooting up Donnas house

i love how he just naturally hands the sonic to Donna without thinking

It's extremly Donna-like to worry about her house during the alien attack

I like the resonating the wall trick coming on again - if you saw this straight after EoT, you'd still get the sense that the Doctor got more experienced.

Donna's neighbor missing everything cause he's listening to music is a mood

I love the impromptu judge wig XD

Been a while since I heard "shadow proclamtion". That was common the first time RTD was running the show

I LOVE how the twist & how the Doctor deduced it from the Unit soldier not being dead. The idea that you can know someone by their method

Also love the doctor trying to outfox the Meep but getting a tad too confident there

Also like how Donna absolutely picks up that Sylvia knows the Doctor & demands the truth, but also having a moment of vulnerability

the story's a bit over the top & cliche, though. I mean I can partially forgive it because the ep is really much more about Donna, but not a fan of the over the top cliched villain. though, this RTD is the guy who made the fart episode. he was good at concepts a lot of the time, but yeah...

The wheelchair stun darts are cliche, too, but I DO like the general twist of the unit lady realizing the guards have been mind-controlled & saving the team. She seemed competent earlier. Makes me miss Osgood a bit. One hopes wheelchair lady will keep showing up in UNIT episodes.

I love Donna taking the initiative here to run off. (characters NOT being planks of wood & making self-motivated decisions! Oh im so glad we're rid of Chibnal's trash writing)

Do like the moment. Donna still having her unimportance complex, the Doctor's response that she isn't not just because he doesn't think anyone's unimportant but because she is so important to him, "why does it have to be you" Yeah David Tennant is still good at pulling ppl's heartstrings, his resigned tone when he begins reciting the 'password'

The password being similar to that time Amy had to unlock it!

Donna's first concern upon "waking up" being that she gave away the money is soo her.

Catherine Tate really shines here how she instantly retrieves the... the fast talking thing from Journey's end??

She gets so excited at getting to blow up the alien tech XD

Again praise be to Catherine cause you can tell how the hole of self-doubt that was there (though not as much pre series 4) is just FILLED with confidence.

He just doesn't give a fuck if they shoot him when he thought Donna was dead

The thing where it's less lethal now because some of the energy passed down to her kid is neat, but I don't like the idea that the personality traits of Donna's kid are attributed to the metacrisis thing. Although I suppose it could be seen as more of a nudge or inspiration

I really like the touch that the Doctor remembered the names of the alien soldiers & spoke of them to their superiors, and that he neutralized the meep non-lethally. He's an actual pacifist again with lika a worldview, not just regurgitating lines about "not liking guns" out of context

I HATE the women's intuition thing. I get that they were trying to like affirm Rose's gender as real here but I hate it. It's essentialist and I hate it. I'm gonna treat it as just a joke Donna & Rose did cause they would.

Though I DO like, & find it very appropriate that Donna & Rose themselves are the ones to think up the solution & having it sort of come from Donna's grounded, down to earthsy nature. As a counterpoint to how the Doctor kind of over-ruled Donna's will to sort of unilaterally save her against her will & taking the burden onto himself. (Not that one can blame him too much for what he did while panicking, trying to save his besties' life. )

I love the Doctor fanboying over the new "desktop theme" & praising the TARDIS for the design choices

Such a nice touch that both the Doctor & the TARDIS remember Donna's coffee preferences. It's all about the little things.

David still got it with the "it killed me" line

I do notice that his delivery, while similar, in some aspects, is still markedly different. 14 is more emotionally honest than 10, but also less hyper, he carries himself a bit 'heavier'.

Like I feel some of that subtle distinction in nuance comes down to that when the Dr. turned into 10 it was "for" Rose (so the charme & energy etc were dialed to max), but 14 is "for" Donna, in a way, though he didn't know it at the start.

AAAAnd Donna immediately returns to being a supplier of grounding common-sense advice. Cause she is right about the big goodbye thing

that's a lot of pyrotechnics for just one coffee. Donna must've spilled it into the worst possible spot. That would be the sort of luck they'd have.

Soo. it was an episode without Chibnal's terrible, flavorless writing. I liked some of the story beats though not over the top wowed but I feel like this is the first act of a longer play & the emotional penny is probably still to drop.

#doctor who #fourteenth doctor #donna noble #rose noble

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darkstar225 · 7 months

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Twice's 10th member has menstrual cramps ft New Jeans' Minji as GF

A/N: Heyyy, I'm trying to make up for the time I'm gone lol! Sry for taking so long to post :D I hope that the anon who gave me this idea on Tumblr likes it!

The request: hello authornim, may i request where y/n is dating minji from newjeans and y/n is on period and she’s suffering with the pain and the members asking minji to came over the dorm to help her taking care of y/n such as spoiling her also ending up sleeping in minji’s arms. thank youuu🫶🏻

PS: Tysm for everyone who reads what I write, I hope I can bring a smile to your faces every time I post! I'd like to thank whoever sent me this idea 'cause I loved to write it <3

__________________________________________________________

The air in the TWICE dorm was thick with tension, and Y/N could feel it acutely as she curled up on the couch, cradling a hot water bottle against her abdomen. The persistent ache of menstrual cramps was making her miserable, and even the upbeat chatter of her fellow members couldn't distract her from the discomfort.

Nayeon, Y/N's mom number 2, noticed her kid's discomfort and exchanged a concerned glance with the others. Mina hesitated for a moment before speaking up.

Mina - Honey, are you okay? *soft voice filled with genuine concern*

Y/N managed a weak smile, but the pain in her eyes didn't go unnoticed by the observant group. Sana, always attuned to the emotions of those around her, tilted her head.

Sana - Is it that time of the month?

The maknae nodded in answer, feeling a wave of relief that someone had understood without her having to say it out loud.

Dahyun, ever the mischievous one, teased with a grin.

Dahyun - Ah, the joys of womanhood. We've all been there sis. *kissed Y/N's forehead*

Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung exchanged a knowing look, having experienced similar discomfort in the past. Tzuyu, the youngest after Y/N, listened intently, her concern evident on her face.

Jihyo - Maybe we should call someone to help. Minji from New Jeans is a sweet girl, and she's been dating our sunshine for a while now. I'm sure she'd be willing to come over and lend a hand.

Momo - That's a great idea. Our baby deserves to be pampered a little, especially on a day like this.

Nayeon - Perfect. Let's make sure our child is comfortable while we wait for her.

Nayeon strongly agreed as her maternal instincts kicked in.

The decision was made, and Jeongyeon quickly dialled Minji's number. After a brief conversation, Minji agreed to come over to the TWICE dorm to take care of her girlfriend.

With that decision made, the members sprang into action. They fetched extra blankets, turned on a comforting playlist, and dimmed the lights to create a cosy atmosphere. Sana even disappeared into the kitchen, returning with a steaming mug of chamomile tea.

Sana - Here you go, darling. This should help you relax a bit. *hands her the warm mug*

Y/N accepted the tea gratefully, feeling a warmth spread through her body. The other members gathered around her, doing their best to lift her spirits. It wasn't long before the doorbell rang, and Mina rushed to answer it.

Mina - Minji, we're so glad you could come.

The other girls greeted Minji, while she rushed inside.

Minji, a caring and considerate soul, immediately sensed the atmosphere in the room. She gave a warm smile to the TWICE members before turning her attention to her girl.

Minji - Hey, babe. *speaks softly*

Minji - How are you feeling? *brushes a strand of hair away from Y/N's forehead*

Y/N managed a weak smile.

Y/N - Like I've been run over by a truck.

Minji - Let's get you more comfortable. *leads Y/N to the couch*

The TWICE unnies discreetly left the room, giving the two some privacy. Minji took a seat beside Y/N, and without needing any words, she wrapped her arms around her lover, offering a comforting embrace. TWICE's fireball sighed, feeling the warmth and security that Minji's presence brought.

Minji - I brought some snacks and movies! We can have a little movie night to take your mind off things. *gestures towards a bag she had placed on the coffee table*

Y/N nodded appreciatively, grateful for Minji's thoughtfulness. As the night unfolded, Minji took charge of the situation, making sure her girlfriend had everything she needed. She set up a makeshift fort with blankets, piled up pillows for extra comfort, and even brought out a collection of Y/N's favourite snacks.

Minji - Are you feeling any better? *rubs Y/N's back gently*

Minji - I brought some chocolate too, I heard it helps with cramps. *mischievous smile*

Y/N - You're an angel, Minji. *eyes lit up*

The couple spent the afternoon chatting and sharing light-hearted moments. Minji entertained Y/N with stories from her latest New Jeans shoot, eliciting laughter from the younger girl. As the day wore on, the youngest's pain began to subside, thanks to Minji's attentive care.

As the night wore on, fatigue finally caught up with Y/N. The unnies, peeking into the room, noticed her eyelids drooping.

Sana - Looks like someone's ready for bed. *whispers with a mischievous grin*

Minji chuckled softly, carefully lifting Y/N into her arms.

Minji - I'll take her to bed. Thanks for everything, guys.

The TWICE members bid the two goodnight, knowing that their child was in capable hands. Minji carried Y/N to one of the bedrooms, tucking her into bed with utmost gentleness. TWICE's angel, feeling a mixture of gratitude and drowsiness, snuggled into the blankets.

Y/N - Thank you for being here, Minji. *mumbles with half-closed eyes*

Minji - Anytime, my love. Get some rest. I'll be right here.

True to her word, Minji settled into a chair beside the bed, keeping a watchful eye on her girl. The room was filled with a comforting silence, broken only by the occasional rustle of blankets or a soft sigh from Y/N.

As the younger girl drifted into a peaceful sleep, she felt a sense of deep gratitude for her caring sisters and her considerate partner who had surrounded her with love and comfort on a night that started with pain. In Minji's arms, she found comfort, knowing that she was not alone in facing the challenges that life (especially womanhood) brought her way.

And this made her have one thought:

I'll love my dear chosen family forever.

A/N: I'm sorry for any errors. English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there is something wrong, ty for reading <3

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dividedego · 2 years

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The Schizoid Reality Wall; or, Welcome to the Void

This is a concept I first saw explained by SchizoidAngst on youtube (pretty relatable content in case yall tumblr zoids havent discovered him yet) but I've wanted to write this down in my own words, the way I conceptualize it, so I did that. Maybe theres something useful here for someone else, so I'm sharing.

Obligatory I'm not a psychologist, yada yada

As the “true” self in schizoids becomes separate from the rest of the psyche, (in some cases masked with a false persona as a form of compromise with the external world, ie. “secret” schizoids), it is turned away from the concrete physical world and towards the abstract. This more or less means it’s actually possible for schizoids to feel deeply intimate connections comfortably, if these connections are formed on higher levels of abstraction – ie. abstraction itself becomes a vehicle for connection. This also leads to what Akhtar has named ‘idiosyncratic thinking’, or odd thinking.

Example of concrete vs. abstract: I tell Bob a personal opinion about something, and Bob has a bad reaction to it, tells me I’m a disgusting person, and refuses to talk to me further. A neurotypical person would be upset about the immediate interpersonal reality of that situation – ‘oh no, Bob thinks I’m a disgusting person.’ Schizoids, if they get upset at all, instead tend to get upset because the situation reminded them of an abstract phenomenon which they have a hard time dealing with – ‘oh no, some people take opinions seriously to the point that they are willing to cut others out of their life instead of coming to some sort of mutual understanding or compromise, which gets in the way of problem-solving or beneficial discourse, something that should be everybody’s primary concern.’ Out there? Yeah, but that's kind of the point.

Neurotypical signals of affection lose meaning and feel empty because they can’t connect to the repressed/abstract self. If a consistent demand is put on the schizoid to meet what they see as superficial expressions of affection, they can get feelings of being forced to play a role which is psychologically demanding to keep up with yet yields next to no emotional rewards and satisfies none of their actual needs.

Adding to this, when schizoids then attempt to communicate their own needs or to express abstract, existential feelings, they’re more often than not met with misunderstanding, ridicule, neglect, and dismissal. The schizoid’s thinking is treated as being too abstract to have any real bearing on reality, whereas to the schizoid themself sees it as integral to reality. This happens with family, friends, coworkers, partners, as well as medical professionals/psychologists – it is a near universal phenomenon.

This culminates in the schizoid reality wall – the core difficulty in actually connecting to other people.

Essentially, the feeling for schizoids is that they often try to meet others on the terms of those others, ie. through concrete and grounded conversations, but that nobody does or even tries to do the same for them. This leads to feelings of futility, hopelessness, animosity, and a stronger need and desire to self-isolate.

You’re reminded of that barrier [all the time]. You’re reminded of the reality of your situation, which is: They can’t hear me. And I can’t hear them. And I’m trying to hear them, and I’m trying to listen – but no one is trying to listen to me. So why should I keep trying? What purpose does it serve? [...] It's not magical thinking that's occuring here, it's well-thought-out thinking that is being placed against a backdrop of a world that is telling you, 'No. No, that thinking is not the right thinking.'

- from this

Which is where we reach the Void.

#kinda curious if other tumblr zoids have thoughts on this #does it strike a nerve does it not #lemme know. cause i felt a whole ass entire actual emotion seeing angsts vid lol #he gets it and thats rare #szpd #actuallyszpd #mine

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mixsethaddams · 1 year

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Knife To The Throat

Day 4 for @febuwhump. (Yes I know I’m late I’m catching up as best I can. I’ll add all these to ao3 soon too, I might end up just bulk posting them all there by the 28th instead of on tumblr.)

Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, Jim Hopper, Joyce Byers, Murray, Enzo

Words: 1166

Warnings: The title should be treated as a red flag. PTSD. Implied murder-suicide.

Steve never truly recovered from everything that went on in the Upside Down.

None of them did, to be fair. They had their mandated therapy sessions and various hospital appointments to make sure their core temperature wasn’t showing any signs of harbouring a parasite. Everyone else seemed to be able to move on though, and that’s where Steve fell down.

He listened to Hopper tell a story about the war once. The Chief detailed the emotions that still overwhelmed him when he thought back on it, how he struggled to fire his gun to protect himself because it reminded him of being right back there in the dark, surrounded by enemies and with no way out. Hopper spoke of nightmares, of sudden flashes of moments he thought his life was over, of losing his friends. Steve listened with wide eyes and it felt like his own thoughts were being read aloud by someone else. But Steve wasn’t a solider, so it couldn’t be the same thing, right? He was probably just being dramatic, so Steve never mentioned how he felt to his therapist either. He didn’t listen to any of Hopper’s war stories after that.

Steve kept it buried as well as he could. He didn’t always manage to be entirely subtle about his reaction to the little things that triggered whatever it was he was going through. Sometimes he was already in the middle of grabbing the nearest weapon by the time he snapped out of it. Passing it off as a joke to the right person was easy, Tommy Hagan thought it was hilarious when Steve picked up a rock and threw it at a particularly large black labrador. The dog was fine; Steve managed to abort the throw just in time. Steve was not ok, however. He couldn’t help but think how awful it would have been if he actually hit the poor dog.

“Steve, you need to listen to me,”

Steve never lost the control he worked so hard to keep. Well, almost never. He punched one of Jason Carver’s friends in the face at a memorial service. He was out cold immediately and it took three people to stop Steve from kicking the poor boy in the head when he was on the ground. Fuck that guy. He deserved it. He should never have said that Steve couldn’t protect Max from Eddie Munson. Didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. Sure, the reaction was a bit bigger than what most people would have had, but Steve protected his friends as best he could, and that prick made Lucas cry by talking about Max.

“It’s ok, it’s all ok, you don’t need to- Can you please look at me?”

His feelings of being a total failure were already high in his throat, and it boiled over right as he was being dragged away from the memorial by someone speaking fucking Russian.

He screamed at them and wriggled out of their grip, falling heavy onto the ground as they finally got him out of the building. Hopper and Murray stood with their hands outstretched, palms up, placating him. Another man Steve didn’t recognise stood with them, eyebrow cocked in stoic concern. As he asked the others if this boy is ok, he looks like he is having heart attack maybe?, his accent made Steve’s blood run cold. No, no. They were not letting him go back into that bunker, they were not handing him right back over to the enemy. Steve’s vision swam as he turned and ran, ignoring the shouts behind him.

It didn’t take long for a small group to find him in his parents’ kitchen, backed into a corner with one knife pressed to his throat and another swinging wildly to stop anyone coming too close. Blood from his neck dripped down onto the white shirt he wore to the earlier ceremony.

“I’m not going back there,” he hissed, slicing through the air in front of him as Joyce tried to approach.

“I know, I know,” she soothed, taking a step back and holding her hands up in surrender. “We’re going to stay right here, okay?”

Steve’s eyes flew around the room, looking for escape. He was boxed in. Hopper and Murray were in the doorway, Robin blocked the back door. The Russian was standing near Murray. Too close to Robin. She was exposed. He couldn’t protect her like this.

Steve lunged forward and grabbed Robin, spinning her around so her back was against his chest. He held her tight and moved one of the knives from his neck, to her throat. She gripped tight to his forearm, trying desperately to pull it away. Steve was strong from years of sports and fighting, much too strong for her to compete with. She couldn’t move him.

“Steve please-” she gasped, feeling the already blood-warmed metal against her skin.

“I won’t let them take us,” he whispered into her ear. “They won’t get us,”

Steve glared over Robin’s shoulder at the tight faces around him. Hopper moved towards them and Steve spun around to slash a knife in his direction. Robin’s fingers tightened even more around his arm and the blade dug into her skin, adding her own blood now to the mess. Joyce’s eyes went wide as she watched Jim try get close.

“None of you are taking us back down there, do you understand me?” said Steve, his voice far too calm. Hopper felt a panic rise up in his gut at the deadpan tone.

“Steve, Steve, sweetheart, please,” said Joyce softly.

“I kill us both first,” said Steve, bringing the spare knife back to rest just below his adam’s apple. “You won’t get either of us,”

“They don’t want us,” cried Robin gently, her feet kicking out as she tried to stay on her tip toes to avoid the pain of the tool digging into her neck. “They’re our friends,”

Steve kissed the side of her head and buried his face in her hair. His wild eyes glared out sideways at the others in the room.

“Shhh, shhh, I thought so too,” he said shakily, pressing his back harder into the wall behind him.

“Please kid, come on,” said Hopper, one hand on his gun and the other stretched out in front of him. The Russian already had a gun trained on Steve. Murray was frantically dialling a number on the phone that hung on the kitchen wall. The knife against Steve’s neck flew out to point at Hopper briefly before returning to squeeze against his already torn skin. “Put them down, and we can talk,”

“No!” snapped Steve. Everyone froze as his hands visibly tensed around each of the handles.

“Love you Rob, you hear me?” said Steve. “I have to keep you safe, it’s the only way,”

“Not like this,” she pleaded. “We’ll find another way to escape,”

“Put them down, Steve!” called Hopper, now pointing his gun.

Steve planted another kiss to Robin’s temple.

“No,”

#febuwhump2023 #febuwhump #febuwhump day 4 #stobin #ptsd #warnings apply #tw implied murder #tw implied suicide

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anxiety-elemental-kay · 8 months

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Silly 'What Was Taken' fic thoughts

I haven't really talked or even shared my fic much on Tumblr, which I'd like to change, because babbling random nonsense that might never appear in a thing I write is good for me as a writer, and it's fun to share!

One of my two major Trigun fic projects is a series I'm calling "What Was Taken, What Was Restored", which started as a oneshot that grew out of hand. It's based on Stampede, and the premise is that episode 11/12 had additional consequences for Vash. When Wolfwood finds "Eriks" two years later there's a little boy with blond hair and blue eyes with him named Alex, who's Vash's "little brother".

The first draft of the first oneshot was written after episode 11 came out, as a way to explore my own tokophobia and the Shrimp Emotions that episode gave me. (I had to go lie down somewhere dark and quiet after watching that episode for the first time.) So while exploring those darker themes and the complicated and contradictory emotions everyone feels is what's compelling to write... I'm also starting to think about the possibility for Shenanigans. It's not really Trigun if there isn't some buffoonery going on.

Local kids curious about the strange man in the red coat, maybe even wondering if that's the scary demon man the grown-ups keep talking about. But there's a kid with him so maybe he's not that bad? It turns into a kickball game with Vash and Alex on opposite sides, and while it all remains friendly the two do get competitive. It all ends after Alex's team loses and he declares siege on his big brother and all the kids tackle him 'Get Down Mr. President' style.

The gang finds they have a little extra money and are debating what to do with it when Vash and Alex start chanting "Donuts! Donuts! Donuts!"

Wolfwood takes Vash aside later to chastise him about childhood nutrition and dental care.

To no one's surprise Vash retains none of this. (On the one hand, he's got a lot going on. On the other, you and the kid need to eat yer damn vegetables dammit Spikey)

While the gang is walking somewhere, Alex starts flagging and falling behind. Without a word, Wolfwood adjusts his hold on the Punisher, and kneels down so Alex can hop on his back for a piggyback ride.

Behind them Meryl and Vash start muttering to each other about how Wolfwood never offers them piggyback rides.

Milly, who knows her mentor has a history with Vash and Wolfwood and needs time and privacy to talk to them, rents them a special room for the night and announces this when she hands Meryl the key. She even says she'll babysit Alex for as long as they need time to themselves!! Meryl, Vash, and Wolfwood are all various shades of embarrassed, then Milly gets flustered oh no I didn't mean to imply anything I just wanted to make sure you had some space to yourselves!!!

Alex isn't oblivious to those implications but his primary concern is "Vash STOP going off to have grown-up talks with these people!!! You're always sad after, YOU KEEP MAKING MY BIG BROTHER SAD!!!"

Meryl promises she won't make Vash sad.

Immediately breaks this promise.

When the three come back down later to rejoin Milly and Alex, Vash is still crying and the kid is about to lose his mind. "I SAID NO SAD BIG BROTHER!!" "Alex, it's okay, they're happy tears, everything worked out - " "I'M BANNING GROWN-UP TALKS"

Mashwood do end up together, and are generally more subtle about their affection/getting together to bang. This is primarily because whenever Meryl, Vash, and/or Wolfwood show any kind of affection in public/around their group Alex is in the background making an "ew kissing" face. (Ace/aro Milly is low-key in agreement with him.)

#kay writes things #not putting this in the main tag #since what was taken is overall pretty dark #not confident sharing that too far and wide yet

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mirrorthoughts · 1 year

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Once is Chance, twice is a Coincidence, three times is a Pattern 2/?

Part 2 of one of my Steter Week-Stories from last year 😂 I'm so fast... you can't see me move!

On AO3 or below the readmore!

(Or read Part 1 here on tumblr :3)

The cat was still on his mind when he made his way over to the loft on Saturday. It was one of those mandatory pack movie nights their illustrious alpha had ordered them to come to in the group chat. Peter was very much aware that, as always, Scott hadn’t meant to include him, would actually prefer him not to come, but Peter was contrary enough to ignore what hadn’t been said. And desperate enough to - metaphorically speaking - wedge himself between the pack members and their alpha to get the time he needed in their immediate vicinity without having to actually be somewhere close in their space.

And of course these kind of meetings had another advantage - two actually. First, he saw a bit more of his nephew, who otherwise still preferred to avoid him. And second, he could see more of a certain boy.

If he was honest to himself - and he tried to be, because he needed to be aware of his own shortcomings, his own weaknesses, to be able to keep himself safe and survive - it was mostly Stiles who made the meetings worthwhile. While Derek had at least stopped throwing him dark looks (and he knew the difference, even if Derek still looked grumpy when they saw each other), Stiles by now actually seemed to enjoy Peter’s company and witty commentary on whatever cinematic monstrosity the pups had chosen. So more often than not they ended up on the same sofa together (of course just because everywhere else was already occupied) and started bickering.

This time, something was different. For one, Stiles had found a place between Lydia and Erica on one of the other sofas. And then there was the fascinating case of Derek, sitting in Stiles’s usual space, staring judgingly at Peter. Oh, that would be fun.

“Hello, dear nephew,” he greeted as he sat down next to Derek, his usual smirk in place, like the part of his armor that it was. “What did you do that got you exiled to my couch?” Derek’s frown deepened and Peter could here the rumbling in his nephew’s chest just shy of a growl. “What I did? What did you do, uncle? It’s not me who was ‘exiled’. Stiles didn’t want to sit here, today.”

Peter didn’t expect the flare of pain in his chest, though he probably should have. After all, he had known how attached he had become to their resident mage. He still was moderately sure, that his face had shown nothing of his pain, thanks to his impeccable control, even though something must have slipped, maybe through his pack bonds, because suddenly Derek’s face showed concern. “Peter, what did you do?”

Instead of answering Peter glanced over to Stiles who stared back, apprehension written all over his face. Then it was gone as Stiles turned to one of the girls, answering a question Peter didn’t care about. “Nothing.” His answer was quiet, his smile feeling wooden, just like the mask it was. “I haven’t done anything, Derek. Not this time.”

He ignored the silent ‘oh’ from his nephew as he got back to his feet and turned towards the kitchen. He still could feel Derek’s eyes on his back as he walked over to the coffee machine to make himself a cup and calm down. Because he needed to stay calm. He needed to keep his emotions in check, to not spill anything more than he already had, while he was inspecting his pack bonds.

If Stiles was mad at him, he should have known. He should have been able to tell. He knew he was by no means a saint, but this time he was punished for something he hadn’t done as far as he was aware.

But what hurt the most was Stiles's silence. If Stiles would want him to fix this, he wouldn't stay silent. If Stiles would want to give him another chance, he would know already. Wouldn't he?

He paused when he found Stiles's pack bond easily between the rest of the pack. It was still the strongest bond he had, even stronger than before. And what he could feel from it wasn't anger or hurt or apprehension. Quite the contrary. There was a warmth and affection that surprised him. Embarrassment. Insecurity. Concern.

He had no idea what was going on with Stiles, but it wasn't him that was the problem. He hadn't hurt Stiles.

He hadn't hurt Stiles.

He laughed, short, full of relief. He couldn't help it, even if he could clearly feel the confusion and skepticism of his nephew at his back. It didn't matter anymore. He took his cup of coffee from the machine and sauntered back to his place next to Derek. Whatever Stiles’s problem was, he would give him a few days to sort it out himself before getting involved. He really didn't like getting hurt like that. But he would give Stiles the chance to apologize.

Peter sipped at his coffee, hiding his grin behind it and ignoring Derek staring at him with furrowed eyebrows from right next to him. So, what should he choose to make Stiles grovel? Choices, choices.

#steter #teen wolf #sei's writing #seikaze

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txemrn · 2 years

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I am sorry but I respectfully disagree with your rationale for Ethan and MC’s relationship and particularly age gap being a barrier. In the game, nowhere does it say that the age gap is 10 years. It’s a natural conclusion but medical students and residents come in all ages. While there is an age gap, the length of it depends on the background one would presumably create for their MC.

I know you mentioned in your post that you don’t understand other people’s supposed OOC approach to Ethan. And that is your right. But even with the caveat you added to your response to that anon, the words you used to denigrate other people’s MC and Ethan relationship dynamics and experiences was insulting to those creators.

Hey, anon!

Thank you so much for coming directly to me and sharing your thoughts with me.

If it's okay with you, I'd like to go through this point by point.

You're right in that we don't know how old MC is in canon. Also, residents do come in all ages. Some people go straight through school after high school; some immediately go to making money and working after high school. Some people serve in our military while others go to school for a completely different career and choose to go to med school at a different time.

My concern wasn't age (even though it is a small factor); my concern for MC was her stage in life. A novice. Inexperienced. Hey, we all start out there one way or another, but we are talking about doctors here. I would never put them on a pedestal in comparison to other vocations, but they are a different breed, and an intern is unbelievably different from a well-seasoned diagnostician. That's all I was trying to say.

🚨TRIGGER WARNING🚨 (discussion of mental health)

This will probably be my only chance to explain myself, so I hope you don't mind if I use this opportunity to discuss my words and my intentions. I really do appreciate it.

In my original post, I wrote that I was "naturally curious why some may write these characters so OOC." I have been an active part of the Choices fandom for over 2.5 years, and I have seen all sorts of stories and stretches of the imagination. I do not say this flippantly or with disgust, but that we have a very creative fandom, and I want to know why people decide to go certain directions.

When I wrote out those descriptions of what people have done to LIs and MCs, I truly have no idea who specifically in the Open Heart fandom writes like this (I've only been writing OPH for about a year, and I'm on the outskirts of this fandom). I was thinking of what I have seen (and I have written myself) in the TNA and TRR fandoms, and they get awfully fluffy and awfully angsty and awfully OOC. I figured this must exist here.

What I have learned in my time here on Tumblr is that sometimes people make their LIs and their MCs and OCs OOC because it helps them cope (I'd like to reiterate 'sometimes'). It makes them feel good. Some people are obsessed with specific tropes because it makes them so happy. However, I have had the privilege of meeting people here who are either in terrible situations or they have been rescued from terrible situations, and it shows in their writing.

As an example, I personally write a lot of angsty situations. I have been asked all sorts of questions (some quite inappropriate) about my childhood because of my love of creating more emotional stories.

The point of all of this is some of these stories do come from darker places. I love that we have the gift of fanfiction to help some people cope and to get through those hard times. But, like I said before, "I just hope that if these stories are stemming from a sad or angry place IRL, I hope they are getting the help they need." Mental health is not something I would ever joke about. I truly do hope that the person who has darker thoughts and it spills it out into their writing: I hope they are reaching out to get help, whether that is talking to someone (a professional), joining a support group, or maybe even enlisting the help of a doctor and/or medications. My comment came from a place of genuine concern.

Now, having said that, to the creators I have offended, I would love the opportunity to talk with you and apologize. My intentions were never, ever to insult anyone. If you are one of those individuals reading this right now, I understand that you might not feel comfortable approaching me, and I understand. Please know that I would love to make this right, and I'm here to listen.

Anon, thank you so much for being brave and being honest with me. I really do appreciate your "ask" and your kindness.

#you asked #TW

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xaracosmia · 5 months

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ꕥ — WELCOME TO EXO COSMIA, SIFFRIN. 🌑

ꕥ — OOC INFORMATION;

name / alias: Finch age: 27 pronouns: he/they/it ooc contact: catboycharon on twitter or @oxicwrench on tumblr other characters in xc: kokichi ouma, sou hiyori, yomiel

ꕥ — IC INFORMATION;

name: Siffrin age: mid 20s pronouns: he/they series: In Stars And Time canon point: post game app triggers: self harm, suicide/suicidal ideation, memory Loss/modification, mentions of eye trauma, child death, hallucinations, psychotic breaks/unreality

[WOW BIG IN STARS AND TIME SPOILERS! TURN BACK IF YOU WANT TO PLAY I GUESS?]

personality:

If asked, Siffrin would describe himself as a laid back, “funnyjokespun” person. He appears easygoing and even a bit jovial, never able to take much seriously beyond a surface level. Relaxed and perceptive, if a bit prone to zoning out or dozing off, Siffrin easily fades into the background until he has a pun to share. Even then he doesn’t actually speak up much, preferring to listen to others talk with only a few comments of his own. It’s easier that way, getting to be present without having to carry the conversation himself. Paired with how he rarely shares his inner workings, personal feelings, or even background, Siffrin can come across as aloof and mysterious. It might not seem like he even cares all that much, generally just going along with whatever’s easiest or immediately funny. That is until he does whatever he can to protect those he cares about. Or says something incredibly concerning. Either or, really.

On the inside, Siffrin cares more than they can put into words. More than they can say without finding it embarrassing. They like helping others, getting people to smile, both selflessly and selfishly. Both are true in that Siffrin wants to make others happy simply because they deserve it while also wanting to appear better so others will keep them around. They cling desperately to what they love, dig their claws in, try so hard to be useful, wanted, to say the right things. Siffrin cares a little too much. But they can’t say it, because, well. It’s too much. That’s the point, right?

For as much as they say they’re fine, they’re very easily overwhelmed and anxious, always struggling against their emotions and past experiences. Siffrin doesn’t know how to deal with many of their problems, doesn’t know how to verbalize them or feel deserving of help and as a result has gotten very good at running from them entirely. Even if they know what’s wrong they often refuse to think about it, as most times they do they blame themselves and sink into a self deprecating spiral. Whether or not something is even in their control Siffrin is cruel to themselves, barely able to understand that they’re lovable without having to manipulate others into feeling that way. The loops exacerbated it all, Siffrin’s self-destructive tendencies given the ability to run rampant without consequence, both physical and mental. He wasn’t particularly stable even before they started, but it’s only gotten harder and harder to hide since then. There’s no way to understand them without knowing why they’ve grown to be this way. Their forgetful nature is more than meets the eye, Siffrin quite literally cannot help how much they forget when their memory has been punched full of holes. It frustrates them to no end. They can be as perceptive, as clever, as well versed in something as they like and, inevitably, things are lost.

They’ve never managed to learn how to cope with grief. With mourning. With forgetting.

With letting go.

Siffrin isn’t very good at any of it. They don’t want to lose anything else. It’s inevitable, but they try, really!

It’s fine. He’s better now after having to spill his guts and accept help. For as difficult as it is for him to open up, for as much as he prefers to keep all the ugly, desperate thoughts to himself, Siffrin has seen what it can lead to. So he has to– has to make an effort not to fall into the same habits.

…It’s… Not fine. But maybe it will be, eventually.

something your muse struggles with: Remembering is always a good start. Places, people, events, words, you name it! They struggle to accept loss and cope with grief, clinging desperately to what little they have left. Often fueled even unconsciously by their fear of abandonment, of forgetting. They’re terrible at opening up to others to boot! Wow! And remembering… Did I say that already? These go hand in hand i promise.

your muse’s greatest strength: do puns count..? No? Okay, well. Siffrin cares very intensely and deeply for anyone who gives him the time of day. He’s fiercely devoted and eager to help those in need, strangers or friends alike. Even his puns and bad jokes are to try to cheer others up!

history / background:

There isn’t much to say about Siffrin’s history. Not further back, not where they came from. There was more, once, but nobody, not even Siffrin themselves could say. Vaguely they recall having parents? Coming to on a boat with no memory of who they were, where they came from, what language they spoke. It all hurt to think about, whatever wounds left over on their memory would never fully heal either, waiting until something prodded at them as they wandered through life. Siffrin had no home, after all, so they grew up traveling the globe, always a stranger, a visitor as they went from place to place.

Eventually, in adulthood, they revisited the country of Vaugarde where they’d washed ashore in their childhood. Maybe not the best idea they’d discover, as someone known as the King had somehow gotten the power to start freezing the entire country in time. A bit more dangerous than anticipated, but Siffrin was skilled enough to manage themselves and even help a few people along the way. Three of whom claimed to be on a journey to stop the King like some kind of heroes. Mirabelle, a woman being called the “chosen one” by locals, had the power to counter the King’s curse. She and her companions, Isabeau and Odile, asked for Siffrin’s help after they lended a hand (or knife) to defeat a particularly strong monster.

He had nothing better to do, so he agreed to come along.

On their journey to recover the orbs that would get the party into the House the King had taken over, they spotted a child on their own who’d been running from the slowly encroaching curse. Bonnie, who desperately wanted to save their sister who’d been frozen in time, insisted on coming along for the ride, completing their little party.

Siffrin didn’t realize how much he grew to care about them all, how much he loved them, would do anything for them. Not until Bonnie was in harm's way and a monster- Sadness, they were called- struck at them. Nobody was close enough to stop it, but Siffrin was the fastest. He could just get there in time to take the hit for Bonnie. It cost him his eye, but he didn’t regret it. He would do anything to keep his friends safe, no sacrifice would be too great. Injury or not, traveling with them was the happiest he’d ever remembered being.

When they finally gather the orbs and get to the town of Dormont, just by the House the King took over, things change. Not noticeably at first, Siffrin has a nice time taking a nap in the nearby meadow the day before the final confrontation. There’s a tree Isabeau is visiting, the Favor Tree, a place for people to ask for, well, a favor. Or a wish. It’s a nice sentiment, everyone surely is wishing for the King to be defeated so Vaugarde can be saved. Siffrin makes a wish himself, though he doesn’t want to take away from everyone else, so… Something small. Something nice.

He wishes to continue traveling with Mirabelle and see her get more comfortable expressing herself. He wants to stay with them!

… They all spend the night together, Isabeau promises to tell him something important after they defeat the king. The next morning, the party ventures to the House. They make it not a few rooms in before, while checking a room for traps as is his job, Siffrin misses something. The next moment a rock falls and they’re crushed to death and-

They feel a tug on their stomach.

And Siffrin wakes back up in the meadow the day before they died.

After completely failing to act like normal to hide their apparent time traveling, Siffrin hears a voice directing him to visit the Favor Tree again. When he arrives he finds a figure sitting beneath it, a person with a star where their head should be who introduces themselves as Loop. They’re grating, annoying, but they know what’s going on, at least a bit. They give guidance, albeit condescendingly, and help Siffrin navigate the time loop he finds himself in. He has to gather information, to try to get through the House and beat the king, but every time he dies Siffrin loops back in time. It’s not impossible to control, there are different points in which he can return to, but the earliest he can go back to is waking up in that meadow. Sometimes, he finds he has to loop on purpose in order to go back to get something he needs.

It’s scary how easily Siffrin adjusts to it. How easy it is to stop valuing his own wellbeing.

Loop after loop, Siffrin gets used to the same repeating lines of dialogue, the same script, the same enemies. They get stronger, they learn more, they get to fight the king. He kills them, easily, but they come back. They have unlimited tries, they’re fine, even if it hurts even if they wake up shaking and reeling they’re fine. They can investigate, find counters to every obstacle thrown their way. The King can kill everyone in one attack, Loop supports and offers ideas, Siffrin finds a way to make them real and finds a way for Mirabelle to learn a shield spell every new try.

Eventually they beat the king. They did it, they won, even if Isabeau is interrupted when he tries to tell them that something he mentioned it’s okay because they won. They can leave. The Head Housemaiden who’d been trapped by the King thanks them all, thanks Siffrin and. Something. Goes. Wrong. She breaks down, cries, apologizes. Something’s breaking, something’s failing, rotting. It smells of burned sugar.

They feel a tug on their stomach.

And Siffrin wakes back up in the meadow.

…There has to be something else. Something they missed. The loops continue, Siffrin becomes more and more desperate, they try everything they can think of. Helping everybody else with their problems doesn’t work, the power of love doesn’t work, acknowledging their lost history and the country they and the King came from doesn’t work, empathizing with the King and his plight doesn’t work and Bonnie dies for their foolish hopes, nothing works. Either Siffrin dies or makes it to the end and they loop back. They’re so tired. Every loop they pray for rest.

Occasionally, when they fail to stay on script, when they upset Bonnie to the point of lashing out, when they spend the day with Loop instead of going to the House and everyone else dies, when they act selfishly and alienate Isabeau by pushing him to confess (because Siffrin knew what he wanted to say, they need to hear it though it doesn’t count if he doesn’t say it. It doesn’t. It doesn’t. It doesn’t-) they loop back just enough to avoid that horrible new reality.

Their desperate, feverish attempts to find out why they’re looping leads them to a type of magic, Wish Craft. Something that grants wishes, either with a properly done ritual or with enough people, a whole country wishing for the same thing. The Head Housemaiden seemed to have been looking into it, but the next time Siffrin gets to her, she tells them, apologizes. It must be everyone’s fault Siffrin is stuck there, they must have wished wrong and their wish for a savior to come protect Vaugarde must have broken, failed, rotted. Turned into an endless loop with Siffrin stuck at the center. Forever.

They smell burning sugar.

They feel a tug on their stomach.

They wake up in the meadow again.

Siffrin cannot be stuck here forever. There has to be something, anything to save them. They would gladly spend an eternity with their friends but after so many of the same lines, the same scenes, the same script they don’t feel real. Everyone they love feels like an actor, a cardboard cutout, a character instead of the real people. Siffrin cannot be stuck here forever, they need to get out.

The wish was centered on them, right? Maybe they need to defeat the King by their own hand. Every time it was Mirabelle who landed the final blow, so maybe that’s it? They can’t think of anything else. Siffrin can’t hold it together, they try to push the others harder, lashes out and says horrible, cruel things without meaning to. But they do it, and none of their party, their family wants to be around them. They overhear the four of them discussing going to the House without them, arguing about if they can trust them.

Siffrin goes to the House alone, cleaves a path through it as the world itself glitches and warps around them, as they see ghosts of themself in the halls, as everything stops making sense. They continue onward, face the King on their own and. Almost manage to defeat him. He stops them in time before they can win, traps them in a nightmare of their own traumas, their fears laid out and impossible to fight on their own. Siffrin longs for what they can never have, consumed by homesickness, by grief, the fact that after what they said their family must hate them. They ruin everything they touch, cannot fight against their memories, their being, everything that was ripped from them. Their home. That everything that made them who they are is gone, forgotten by the Universe itself, and they too will be forgotten, forgotten, forgotten–

He’s pulled from the nightmare by Mirabelle’s powers as the others arrive, having gone in after to help. The four of them take the King down using some new skill Mirabelle learned in his absence that reflects the King’s curse back onto him. Siffrin, weakened after having taken everything on alone and is supported by their family as they all make their way to the Head Housemaiden once more. He can’t understand why, after all those horrible things he said, why? Something’s different, though, the sky is broken, it looks like the end of the world. Everything is normally painted in greyscale, completely absent of color. Now a huge, bright red crack in the shape of a star pulses in the sky.

When they reach the end again, where the Head Housemaiden waits for them, that’s it. The end. As every time before, they talk about it being the end. The journey is over.

Siffrin doesn’t want it to end. If it ends, everyone leaves. If it ends, everyone goes home. Siffrin does not have a home, they have their family. That’s it.

Siffrin doesn’t want it to end. Siffrin refuses to let it end. They’re consumed by the magic that allows them to loop through time, overwhelmed by it as they refuse to let their family go again. But they can’t hurt them, they have to direct it somewhere and they hurt themselves and despite looming over them as a massive, astral being Mirabelle still heals them.

They all don’t understand but he can’t say it. It isn’t the people’s wish keeping him here, it isn’t a broken one. They come to realize it was his all along.

His family says: Tell us your wish!

And he knows the answer.

‘He wants to stay with them!’

And they love Siffrin, they bring him back to himself, they all agree to keep traveling together and not let their journey be over . They agree to keep in touch, to not let their bonds die even if they aren’t physically together. Even if they’re upset, they still care. They love him.

This is so long i cant write anymore i’m so fucking sorry. Love wins or whatever also includes the loop epilogue he is loved and he loves and his maladies truly are endless but things get better okay i promise okay bye let me know if i need to elaborate on anything ever mwah

powers / abilities:

CRAFT SKILLS: Magic! Offensive Craft Skills fall under 1 of 3 types: Rock, Paper, and Scissors. Siffrin is Scissors type and, as one might imagine, is weak to Rock type. When 5 of one type is used in a row by the party they can get a Jackpot combo, which deals heavy damage of said type to all enemies while healing the party and reviving any fallen allies.

Knife to Meet You: Deals scissors damage to one enemy. May lower enemy’s defense. 1 turn cooldown.

Too Cleaver By Half: Deals scissors damage to all enemies. Might lower enemy’s attack. 3 turn cooldown.

Make Up The Time: Makes all allies faster for a few turns. 3 turn cooldown.

Turn It Up: Gives his turn to an ally. Boosts their attack and crit chance. 1 turn cooldown.

Buy One Get One Three: Deals 3 scissors hits to one enemy. High chance of being a critical hit. 2 turn cooldown.

Done Heal: Heals 30% of a ally’s HP and boosts their attack. 2 turn cooldown.

Tear You Apart: Deals big Paper damage to one enemy. Gives two Jackpot points instead of one. 2 turn cooldown.

Rock Bottom: Deals big Rock damage to one enemy. Gives two jackpot points instead of one. 2 turn cooldown.

Regener-ade: For three turns everyone in the party regenerates 10% of HP every turn. 5 turn cooldown.

(Just Attack): Deals massive Scissors damage to all enemies. Doesn’t give a Jackpot point. 3 turn cooldown.

WISH CRAFT: An additional type of craft that requires specific rituals to perform in order to grant a wish. Even if done correctly Wish Craft might not directly make a wish come true, but instead will provide the means for doing so. Warning: may break reality slightly. Don’t worry about it.

inherent abilities:

MEMORIES: They will always remember these. Only one may be equipped at a time. Most of them have effects that don’t work here, but… They are quite literally memories.

Memory of Self: It's a memory of Siffrin! They have, theoretically, so many to choose from! [+5 to all stats.]

Memory of Loops: Round and round it goes. Doesn’t seem like it’ll help much here. [+5 max HP per loops. Currently adds +630 HP.]

Memory of A Journey: The curtains will close, but the story will go on for a bit longer! [Heals 6% HP every turn.]

Memory of Victory: Boosts all allies' attack at the start of battle.

Memory of Memories: You remember this, at least. [Can read in their country’s written language.]

Memory of Touch: You had eyes bigger than your stomach. Disgusting, disgusting, disgusting. [-50 to all stats.]

Memory of Fishing: Don’t have to think about anything. [+2 attack for every time you’ve gone fishing, but -20 attack speed. Currently adds +62 attack.]

Memory of Defeat: Still a long way to go. [Get x3 memories of skirmish when defeating normal enemies. Doesn’t matter here.]

Memory of Keys: The castle’s full of keys! [Can get directions to a keys location in the House. Doesn’t matter here.]

Memory of Ghosts: House’s haunted. [No effect.]

Memory of Barrels: You like looking inside barrels. [Randomly find items when interacting with barrels. Doesn’t matter here…?]

Memory of Pillars: Paranoia also starts with a P. [Randomly find items when interacting with pillars. Doesn’t matter here…?]

Memory of Bomb: KABOOM!!! [If looping to the King, will have Bomb in pockets. Doesn’t matter here.]

Memory of Family: You don’t want to leave them behind. [EXP x2 for everyone except Siffrin. Doesn’t matter here.]

Memory of Sadnesses: They’re scared of you. [Sadnesses will flee from you. Doesn’t matter here.]

Memory of KnifeKey: Slice, slice, slice. [If looping to the King, will have the KnifeKey equipped. Doesn’t matter here.]

Aren’t you glad looping doesn’t work here? Aren’t you?? I am!

items / weapons:

Knife: Siffrin’s trusty dagger. Does the job.

Garden Scissors: Not that easy to wield. Cuts everything. [Boosts attack, lowers attack speed.]

KnifeKey: A blade gifted by the Change God, and sharpened by Siffrin. [Boosts attack when fighting the King. Doesn’t matter here.]

Starry Hat: The fabric lining the inside of the hat is filled with stars. [Boosts defense, attack speed, and crit chance, heals 5% HP every turn.]

Eternal Snacks: A seemingly endless supply of snacks. Somehow fits in their pocket.

starting ability: Knife to Meet You starting item: Siffrin’s knife

extra:

Canonically Siffrin is NOT a man, please stick to neutral titles. Saying “dude” and such casually is fine.

Ace rep btw I’m winning

~5ft or so, not quite canon but he’s the shortest out of the party barring the literal child.

Still has a residual sugary smell about them

Siffrin has all but a few of the souvenirs they can at the end of the game! Functionally they are useless, just little trinkets from home. Includes everything except for the starting silver coin (they have the special epilogue one), reminder note, loving fanmail, bomb components, and bonding earring. They have the fool as their drawn card.

The haunted look in his eye and autistic swag have bewitched me body and soul

See the wiki doesn’t have all the story information yet so i have to put it ALL myself from memory. Its SO long and i HATE IT but it’s what i gotta do. Lmk if i need to clarify anything at any point.

The thing about time loop jokes is, sure, they may be repetitive, but they never get old

discord id: mal.du.pays passcode: i made artemis assign a cosmia bc i didnt want spoiling BY GOD ILL PLAY THIS GAME

#xc application #mun: finch #exo cosmia

0 notes

hegrowings · 1 year

Note

This isn't meant to be aggressive in any fashion, but if you want to keep a repertoire and actually have partners to thread with, you've got to stop blog hopping. You haven't even done anything on this blog yet, and you're already talking about moving. As someone who genuinely does want to keep in touch with you, it's incredibly difficult to do when you keep jumping ship at the drop of a hat. I can empathize with wanting to feel safe, but you need to acknowledge and sort out why every single time you move blogs you immediately jump to feeling unsafe. If people you're following make you feel that way, then stop following them every time you move.

It doesn't really matter that you're not trying to be aggressive or hateful, you messaged me anonymously in a confrontational of way, so of course it's going to feel aggressive. I did my best to work through how this message made me feel, and while it was - and still is - a lot, I'm going to do my best to respond.

firstly, I'm hurt and confused that - if this was a genuine concern, and if you do want to interact - you didn't reach out privately to me to raise your concerns instead of putting it on blast via anon. which is where I question if it was concern for you at all, or if you're just frustrated with me and needed to give me a piece of your mind. but still, I value the opinions and input of my partners, probably more that I should, yet you still felt the need to approach me in this way. anonymously, prefacing your message with this isn't meant to be aggressive. like you knew it could be construed as aggressive and didn't want to say it to my face ?

secondly, it's not about who I follow, it's about me. it's about my mental wellbeing, about my anxiety. I don't know if you've ever had an emotional meltdown but it's an incredibly scary thing to come to terms with in the aftermath; the loss of control I felt, when I already felt like my grasp on control was shaky at best. it was a genuinely jarring experience, and I'm doing my best to turn over a new leaf in all quarters of my life, which means tumblr isn't the only thing I don't feel safe with and consequently want to change. I'm not saying my coping strategy is flawless, but when I feel unsafe or like I'm losing control I start fresh, reorganize myself. this isn't about tumblr or who I follow, and I'm kind of confused why you assumed it was ?

next, did you even perceive my post ? like, I appreciate that you're coming from a place of concern, but I am indeed aware I haven't done anything yet. I am aware I move and make blogs more than most people do. I am aware it's inconvenient for others. like, I don't need you to tell me what my self-conscious anxiety is already spewing in my brain every time I consider things like this. and, if you've been following me for any length of time you'd know these are feelings I frequently grapple with on the dash. I don't like inconveniencing others, I promise I don't.

so I guess this is the part where I'm like, it's my blog and I'll do whatever I want ? I never said I was going to remake, I said I was thinking about it. that's something I'm allowed to muse about on my dash lmao especially because, I don't know, maybe you could have used it as a platform to voice your feelings ? like "hey I love you and understand ho you feel but you should try to stick with this blog for now". I was honestly going to delete the post when I woke up because, wow it's crazy, I realized I was overreacting, but I got this anon and I didn't want to be accused of hiding evidence or whatever soooo yeah [edit: I deleted the post but have a screenshot]

but seriously, I'm doing my best, and I don't need your judgement or commentary when I already struggle with insecurity and anxiety. its taken me this long to work through how sick receiving this message made me feel, and there are still things I don't know how to voice in response even after drafting this three times. I still feel sick. like, I know you're coming from a god place, I know you're not trying to be aggressive or hateful. but I just. genuinely didn't know - still don't know - how to reply to this in a meaningful or dignified way. these are my feelings, I apologize if they seem patronizing or rude... I struggled a lot to find words that didn't stunk of my own insecurity and hurt, seem defensive. I feel bad for being defensive, because good intentions and all that, but I can't help that's how I feel.

like honestly, did you really think this would help ? like your words would flip the switch in my brain and I'd slap my forehead and be like "oh man you're right I do blog hop a lot, I'm sorry that's frustrating, I promise never to do it again because your supportive message has cured my chronic struggle with feeling unsafe and having anxiety" ? and if I make you unhappy or frustrated, even if you want to interact... maybe you shouldn't follow me ? maybe you shouldn't send confrontational anons. maybe you should take a little initiative and reach out if you want to interact, or utilize the platform I happily provide to receive feedback from folks. I literally says it in so many places, I want to be able to communicate with my partners, I want ya'll to message me if you have a problem or question or want to plot or just chat casually. but this isn't how to do that.

I guess I should say I'm not remaking, but it has nothing to do with you or this message lmao in fact I hope I can move past how this message makes me feel and return to this blog soon. but I'm staying, even though you made me feel unsafe with this message, happy ? anyway, I hope you decide to reach out. maybe we can talk and that will help me acknowledge and sort out my feelings about this message. I'm not even poking fun, I'm being sincere.

to you and whoever else reads this: just talk to me. it's in my rules. I want to be able to communicate, build trust and friendships. if you have a problem or concern just talk to me. okay, anon ? if you genuinely care about me, genuinely want to interact, genuinely feel concern for me... then you'll message me to talk in private.

okay. imma go hide now. I want to say sorry but I also don't think I should or need to. idk, I'll ask my therapist this week. anyway, hiding.

edit: asked my therapist. she doesn't think I need to apologize for anything. I've also been asked to tag this, so I have.

#《 ° inbox 》 we just got a letter ! i wonder who its from ?#《 ° sealke.exe 》 oh im trash just not approved trash #° ask to tag !#drama cw #drama tw #anon hate cw #anon hate tw #negativity cw #negativity tw #drama //#anon hate //

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alycosworld · 3 years

Text

Tainted

Scaramouche X Reader

WARNING: mentions of (nearly) sexual assault

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A/N: I seem to have more angst/comfort ideas for genshin but I'm not sure why...also, I'm on holiday in a foreign country! I have no work and I'll probably spend all my nights on Tumblr after exploring the city in the day, so please please please send in some requests! I'm bored and although they might take some time, they might help me get back into writing more regularly. I'm pretty sure this is gender neutral but if I made a mistake, feel free to tell me. This has NOT been checked for any errors (I'll get around to it at some point).

I'm not sure if Scaramouche is ooc, since he doesn't say anything that nice in the game or in any official works, but I definitely think he has the capacity for it. And I like soft Scar <3.

If at any point you feel uncomfortable, PLEASE DO NOT READ ON. I felt a little icky after writing the assault bit so do not force yourself to read any further or read at all. I do not want to make anyone reading this unhappy. Any victims of sexual assault or harassment, I hope you heal

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Keep walking. Just keep walking. Get home as fast as possible.

Avoid dark spots, avoid all people, avoid secluded areas. Just get home now.

That's what you told yourself after it happened. Archons, you didn't even know how you should feel. Ashamed? Angry? Disgusted? Upset? Confused? Afraid? The amalgamation of these emotions just made everything worse. You felt sick to your stomach. You wanted to cry and scream and vomit and disappear all at the same time.

You felt like you were covered in grime and you don't even know how you managed to get away. You should've done something, anything! But in the moment, you couldn't.

Your day had started normally. You went to the Adventurer's Guild in Inazuma, doing your commissions and taking up a few extra quests to help people out. Even though you were walking home later than normal, you didn't think much of it. Until somehow, you lost your way. In the dark, things became a little more vague and confusing, so you ended up taking a left and ending up in a dark alleyway between two dimly lit buildings.

You walked through, lost in your own thoughts, until you heard some chuckling and some incoherent remarks made by someone exiting one of the buildings out a back door and into the alleyway.

Glancing up, you saw that the person was a man - quite tall and well built with flushed cheeks: he was clearly not sober. You paid him no mind, staring at the ground as you continue to walk, determined to get home to see your boyfriend, Scaramouche. Though he wasn't one to worry, knowing that you could handle yourself, you did want to see him as soon as possible.

"Well, what do we have here?" The man asked, and you looked up at him again, tilting your head in confusion but staying silent.

"What's a pretty thing like you doing out here all alone?" He asked, a suspicious smirk on his face.

"I'm going home." You said firmly, not wanting to give him any ideas.

"Oh? A handsome young thing like you, going home all by themselves? Let me walk you, I promise I don't bite." He continued, clearly not getting the hint.

"I'm alright, but thank you for the off--"

"Stop being such a fucking tease! Wearing an outfit like that, you're begging for it." He pinned you against the wall despite your attempt to politely refuse any moves he tried to make. He caught your arms above your head and harshly shoved one of his legs between yours.

"Don't like to me, hon, you know you want this." He whispered huskily. You had fought countless hilichurls, abyss mages and monsters far more intimidating and dangerous than that man that day, but you couldn't seem to move. All you could manage was a fearful 'please, don't do this'. Struggling was futile, for some reason you couldn't escape his grasp. You had fought beasts ten times this man's size but violating you like this? It made you break.

He gripped you harshly and even managed to kiss your neck a couple times, making the tears stream down your face uncontrollably, until he heard some voices. You recognised them immediately: members of the Adventurer's Guild. He must be known it too because he stopped as soon as he heard, offering you a sickening grin and scuttling away before you could react.

"We'll finish this some other time, sweetheart. I promise."

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You didn't get any help from the Adventurer's Guild members who you heard, instead opting to rush home as soon as possible, trying to figure out what to do next.

The only solution in your mind was to crawl into your lover's arms and tell him what had happened. You didn't want anyone else to know - you know you could trust Scaramouche and you knew he would help you.

But he didn't.

You got home and wiped your tears before entering the house, hoping to look somewhat presentable despite having experienced such an impactful event. You dropped your belongings carelessly, not flinging at the loud sound they made as they hit the floor. You immediately made your way to the guest room Scaramouche had turned into an office of sorts, for him to work on Fatui business. The bedroom door was open and empty and he was nowhere to be found on the first floor, so that was the only other place he could've been. You were relieved to see him sitting at the desk, deep in thought with some maps and other sheets of paper laid out in front of him.

"Scar, I--"

"Not now, (Y/N), I'm busy." He said hot even bothering to look up at your frazzled and shattered state.

"I know but, please, Scar. While I was--"

"If you know that I'm busy, why enter in the first place? I'm working. Leave me alone." He said harshly. You didn't say anything, instead opting to nod silently and close the door. Since this was the first time you had experienced this pain and discomfort from being touched and defiled in such a way, you decided that maybe you should put it aside. After all, maybe it was something so jarring. Maybe it didn't matter. Maybe Scaramouche's nonchalance was justified. In a twisted way, you blamed yourself for overreacting and decided to just forget about the incident. If it didn't mean enough for Scaramouche to even look at you, it clearly wasn't something worth fretting over. You were just exaggerating, right?

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You tried you absolute hardest not to let the incident bother you, but you unknowingly started changing your habits to prevent what had occurred from happening to you again.

"Wearing an outfit like that, you're begging for it..."

You started wearing less revealing clothing, going as far as wearing gloves at some point and covering your neck with collars and scarves through the hot weather.

"We'll finish this some other time, sweetheart. I promise."

Initially, you just avoided dark or secluded places, even when you were with other people, but eventually, you were too scared to leave home at all. You didn't leave the confines of your small garden and if someone passed by, you would quickly hide yourself away. When Scaramouche had unknown guests and colleagues over, you would hide in your bedroom and make him promise not to mention you or acknowledge your existence in the slightest.

You even started taking longer showers and refused to bathe with Scaramouche, confusing him since you used to enjoy it so much. But you wouldn't let him see you in such a vulnerable state now that you were contaminated. You didn't want him to know that you had been tarnished in such a vulgar way, and you spent long moments scrubbing at the parts the stranger had touched. You were worried that Scaramouche would blame you for being assaulted - because in a sick way you thought it was your fault, despite having been nothing wrong. You had twisted the story in your mind to make it seem like you were responsible for the crime committed against you.

Eventually, Childe had to visit for business purposes, but you had become good friends with the eleventh Fatui Harbinger since he was friends with-- well, he and Scaramouche had a relationship, to say the least.

"So where's (Y/N)? Normally they're all over you and making you as embarrassed at possible." Childs grinned, and Scaramouche just frowned and narrowed his eyes.

"They're in our room. They don't really want to see anyone right now." Scaramouche said. Even though you told him not to mention you anymore, since you were so hellbent on avoiding all human interaction, he thought it would be okay to tell Childe. He was your friend too, after all.

"Is something wrong? What happened?" Childe asked, concern in his eyes.

"I don't know. They've been avoiding everyone, including me. They barely talk to me and insist on sleeping downstairs." Scaramouche confessed.

"Let me talk to them."

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Childe exited your room after hearing what to had to say, and he was disturbed and sympathetic, at the very least. Scaramouche saw his wide-eyed, grim expression when he exited the room and immediately had questions.

"What?" Scaramouche asked.

"I'll come back tomorrow to continue our work." Childs said, referring to the business he originally came for.

"But we have to--"

"Scar?" Scaramouche stopped all his trains of thought and turned to the sound of your voice. It was hoarse but still as beautiful as ever. He knew you had been crying from your puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

"I think you have other matters to take care of." Childe winked, before giving Scaramouche an informal two-fingered salute and showing himself out.

As soon as the door closed, Scaramouche turned his attention to you, not coming too close in case you didn't want to be near him.

"Yes, Love?" He asked, more concerned than you had ever seen him.

"Can I talk to you? If you're busy, that's okay, it's not that impor--"

"I'm not busy." He shook his head, and you offered him a sad and grateful smile before sitting on the edge of the bed while he took a seat on a nearby chair.

"So, uhm, a couple of days ago I was walking home and I kind of got lost...so I tried taking this alleyway and--" You stopped yourself, meeting Scaramouche's attentive gaze before continuing.

"There was a guy. And he-- he t-touched me. I-- I didn't know what to do. I could've easily fought back but I just got scared and froze up because that's never happened to me before and he kept saying that I wanted him-- but I didn't! I swear, I didn't. I know it sounds bad since I didn't stop him but I really tried, I just couldn't. And he started k-kissing me...here," You gestured to the spots on your neck that you could still feel being violated.

"And I felt so horrible and he didn't go any further because some people were coming, so I ran home. I-I...I didn't know what to do but I felt like I should tell you because I thought you would help me, but you said you were busy so I just-- It-tried to brush it off but I just couldn't get it out of my head! And before I got away, he told me that he'd come back and finish me off and so I didn't want to go outside anymore in case I ran into him. And I started to cover up since he said I was asking for it because of what I was wearing and then I just got scared and I felt dirty. I tried so hard to forget and clean myself but it kept coming back-- I can still feel him on me! I hated it, I still hated it! You have to believe me, I wasn't trying to get him to notice me, I just..." You broke down after finishing what you had to say. You had already been crying since you told Childe, but now you were choking out sobs and your face was drenched. Scaramouche stood up from his chair and sat next to you on the bed, a safe distance away just in case you still weren't comfortable with being touched.

"I believe you. I know you're not like that." Scarsmocuhe started calmly. In all honesty, he wanted to interrupt you as soon as you said that this man approached you. His blood was boiling and he was ready to murder this man for you but kept himself in check because you didn't need senseless violence or revenge right now, you needed comfort. What hurt him the most was that you were blaming yourself because he didn't bother listening to what you had to say on what was probably the worst day of your life.

"It's not your fault you were touched like that. You are not to blame, at all. I-- I should've listened to you when you came to me - as soon as I turned you say I thought something was wrong but I didn't bother asking about it. That's entirely my fault." He admitted, which surprised you. It took Scaramouche a lot to admit his mistakes, but for you? He didn't care. You constantly put up with his sour attitude, he can definitely listen to you and admit he was wrong.

"You sure? Because I still--"

"I'm sure." He said simply.

"But why did you start avoiding me?" He asked, wanting to understand the situation entirely.

"Well, because..." You started, unsure if he would get angry if you told him. While you were contemplating, he offered you an encouraging expression. It wasn't a smile, but it was more than enough to put you at ease.

"I didn't want you to think I was tainted. Of course, you wouldn't want to be near me after that had happened." You sighed, wiping up the last of your tears.

"You really are an idiot, you know?" He said, but after seeing the clueless and almost hurt look on your face, he immediately wanted to take it back. He didn't mean to be insensitive, he just...well, he often explained positive emotions with his very wide negative vocabulary.

"No, I didn't-- uhm..." He mentally cursed himself for not knowing what to say, but you didn't interrupt him and made a small gesture for him to keep going.

"What I mean to say was, I don't think that you're tainted or anything like that. And I still...want to be...near you-- eugh!" He pretended to be grossed out at his own words in true Scaramouche fashion, but he knew you knew he didn't really mean it and was beyond delighted when he saw you giggle at his facial expression.

He sighed and acted angry as he opened his arms ever so slightly. You noticed the movement and quirked an eyebrow when he hesitated.

"Is it okay if I come closer?" Scaramouche asked, unsure if you wanted to be touched after the incident.

Your heart swelled at his care and then you slowly watched as he stiffly wrapped his arms around you comfortingly. Although you had hugged and cuddled on countless occasions, he still wouldn't stop being so robotic unless you did something. It made you laugh and he pulled away slightly to glare at you, so you decided to just pull him back in and hug back.

And when you relished in the touch of another human being, the touch of the person you love, you began to cry. The last time anyone willingly touched you was in that alleyway, and so to have someone be so gentle with you and have no bad intentions, you were overwhelmed with emotion.

Scaramouche must've felt your tears staining his clothing and skin, and quickly pulled away with poorly hidden concern in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked, but you just continued to sob and nod.

"I love you!" You choked out. He sighed and gently patted your back.

"I...love you too." He said, before making another expression of mock disgust. He slowly moved to hold both your wrists in his hand and kiss down to your neck, pulling you into his lap with your legs straddling one of his.

You soon realised that he was covering up the placed the stranger had touched you with his own ministrations, effectively replacing the grime you felt you gained after the incident. After you came to that conclusion and Scaramouche was done, he didn't meet your eye, blushing profusely. It was justified since he didn't usually initiate any kind of affection acts, but you just cupped his jaw and kissed his cheek, smiiling at him with purity and a newfound confidence in the both of you.

"Thank you, Scar."

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin imagines #scaramouche #genshin scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #genshin impact fatui #fatui x reader #fatui #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x you #angst #angst with a happy ending #comfort #scaramouche imagines #scaramouche oneshots #gender neutral reader #x reader

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mrpenguinpants · 4 years

Text

Xiao: Falling Hard In Love HCs

I re-posted this in case anyone is confused. Tumblr is not enjoying Xiao and I feel attacked. Pls work ;-; I have family

Hihi^^ and npnp I’m glad you’re enjoying it. I love Xiao so much, pls send me all your xiao asks I will speed do them. He deserves the world so buddy, come home don’t dodge me like Venti

Semi Part 1: Friendship

Semi Part 3: Cuddles

Semi Part 4: Protective

Semi Part 5: Affection

Semi Part 6: Jealously

Semi Part 7: First Kiss

Semi Part 8: Opposites Attract

Semi Part 9: String of Fate [Soulmate] HCs

Semi Part 10: [ Fainting ]

---

Xiao: Falling Hard In Love HCs

He knows what love is but never thought he would experience this strong of an emotion. He's respected people such as his fellow adepti and Rex Lapis and he has a somewhat close relationship with Ming. He's felt protective over Liyue and children but never for a single person.

His first thoughts are you must either be an unannounced adepti that somehow came to be or you were an evil demon that somehow laid a curse on him. Both very implausible since he can tell you were human and you would never have an opening to curse him before his spear would get to you first.

He watches you, wondering why you've captured so much of his attention. You can feel someone's eyes on you but every time you turn around you don't see anyone.

You go to Xiao worried that a demon might be stalking you since he is the Guardian Yaksha and he might be able to help you. When he sees how frightened you are because of his actions, he immediately stops borderline stalking you. He tells you he will take care of it and you won't need to worry about anything.

He tries to keep his distance and aloof manner to make you both drift apart more since a relationship would not be the best considering he is an adepti, but he does dote on you in his own way without realizing it. It just comes naturally to him.

If you bring a gift or a plate of almond tofu, he can't deny an offering. That would just be rude. This is ignoring the fact that he's never concerned himself with prayers or offerings in the past, let alone appear in front of that person except for you.

If you're a traveler he would silently watch over your path. He won't be watching you from any shadows since that didn't go so well the first time so he'll clear the path so you won't run into monsters. Half way through he get's a bit pissed at his behaviour, that he's doing so much for one person when adepti usually seclude themselves yet here he is in the open, killing fodder when he’s faces demons that could swallow Liyue. But then he thinks about you getting hurt and he's right back to work.

He finds himself missing your presence when you’re not at the inn for an extended period of time. Looking out over Liyue from the roof of the inn hoping to see you appear just over the hill. Whenever Ming points out that he’s missing you because he likes you he frowns at himself. Has he really fallen that hard? He tries to clears his mind by fighting something but his walk back always makes him reflect.

When you return and remark about how easy your trip was. That there were no monsters anyways near their camps and how peaceful it was, he simply shrugs and nods in agreement.

"Xiao? I'm back from my travels!" you call out in the open space where you would usually find him. You had just gotten back from what was suppose to be a 2 week long trip which only lasted for half the time.

"You're back early"

You nearly shrieked in shock. No matter how many times you've talked with Xiao, his sudden appearance always startles you. You slowly calmed your heart as you turned to see the adepti sitting on the roof of the inn, staring up at the night sky.

"You know, it was kind of funny actually. I passed by many hilichurls camps but I never saw any,” you stated reminiscing your trip as you side eyed the adepti, “would you have anything to do with that?”

“You were taking a dangerous route. You should stay on the main road from now on. It would be foolish for you to die out of sheer curiosity and to something like a hilichurl” he scolds, crossing his arms as he peers down annoyed at you while you sheepishly smile back.

“Aw its not too bad. At least I can count on you Xiao. Going out and protecting Liyue as the Guardian yaksha” you chucked. He can feel the tips of his ears start to blush. But before you can see his face turn pink he suddenly stands up and puts his mask on as he materializes his spear.

“Yes and I must go again. There are more hilichurls coming too close to the inn. I’ll have to deal with it before they cause more trouble” he quickly nods to you as he jumps down from the roof he was perched on

“Oh...alright, have a safe travel” you silently wave to his back as he passes you

“Likewise”

You watched him jump off from the railing to the inn and into the trees as he disappeared into the night. The green glow of his mask fading away the further he ran. He really was incredible.

“Hah, I was so close this time” you sigh, you were trying to lead your compliment into something more but Xiao cut your conversation short. Maybe he did know of your deeper feelings and was trying to softly reject them and you? You quickly slapped your cheeks getting rid of those bad thoughts

“Well, there's always tomorrow” you smiled, hyping yourself up to hopefully tell the aloof adepti your feelings for him.

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xaharadesert · 3 years

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Badass & Chill MC - Headcanon

Arcana Characters (Main 6) x MC

A/N: This one is for @sam-gad, although Tumblr won’t let me tag them for some reason!! They were very helpful in determining where I would take this prompt! The premise is fairly self explanatory— MC who is chill for the most part, but can absolutely kick anyone’s butt if necessary! Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes :) requests are open! And thank you everyone who has continued to send in support over this past week, it means the world to me!

❤️Julian❤️

Oh, this man is more than excited to find out that you can destroy anyone in a fight

When he first met you, and saw how relaxed you seemed to be, he was worried that you wouldn’t fit well with his more… dangerous lifestyle

But the moment the two of you had ended up in danger, with seemingly no way out, you practically changed into a different person

He had been ready to defend the both of you, but clearly there was no need

From then on, it was usually you who would do most of the fighting (Julian would do his best to help, but let’s be real, you could probably take down two or three people in the time it took him to take down one)

Julian would likely find himself getting injured or arrested significantly less than before, which he would only be mildly disappointed about

When you weren’t helping him out in a fight, your relatively chill demeanour would certainly help keep him from doing anything more reckless than necessary

In personality, you seemed to be opposites, but your lifestyles complimented each other perfectly

Where you will calm, he was dramatic, and where he was clumsy, you were infallible

🧡Portia🧡

Admittedly, Portia isn’t exactly the kind of woman to need much help in a fight

She more than makes up for her lack of combat training with enthusiasm, and, honestly, most people would flee after she tries to bite them

However, having someone as skilled as you around for when some stubborn jerks refuse to back down is always a good idea

Portia is super excited to see how awesome you are in a fight, and absolutely wants to learn some of your cooler moves

(You might have to break her heart a little by telling her it takes a very long time to learn, but she’s nothing if not determined)

Your relaxed personality is a big help to her in day to day life, seeing as she’s so excitable

That’s not to say her enthusiasm is a bad thing, it’s just good to have someone around who can keep a level head and work through things calmly when she tries to charge ahead with nothing but her emotions

You two balance each other out perfectly— she makes sure your day to day life is exciting, and you make sure the adventures you take her on are as safe as possible

💛Lucio💛

As we all know, Lucio is absolutely one to talk about his past battles; or, more specifically, one to tell grand tales about his many glorious victories

With that being said, you would likely allow him to ramble on about himself, not too concerned about comparing your own skills to his

So when the moment to fight comes, and Lucio tries to step in front of you in an attempt to protect you, and you absolutely demolish the enemy within moments, suffice to say, he was shocked (and maybe a bit disappointed he didn’t get to show off)

He shakes off his initial surprise easily enough, and immediately starts declaring that “of course you’re one of the strongest warriors to walk the Earth, I have impeccable taste in romantic partners”

(And let’s be honest, he’s only all the more attracted to you after he finds out how amazing you are in battle)

He brags to everyone he meets that his partner is an undefeated champion of combat, even if you may be significantly more humble

Admittedly, he is slightly insecure about the fact that you could beat even him in a fight— he always prided himself on his combat ability, and thought it would be one of his more charming aspects that he could bring to the relationship

If you agree to spar with him, it might be in your relationship’s best interest to let him win a round or two, if only to motivate him into practicing harder until he really can defeat you

You having a more calm approach to life definitely helps keep Lucio grounded; he sometimes struggles with his temper and pride, and having you with him helps him to keep himself from flying off the handle at whoever dared breathe wrong in his direction

💚Muriel💚

You never lose a fight? Thank goodness, then he can let you handle yourself

Muriel doesn’t enjoy fighting, and generally prefers to not be involved at all, but he knew that if it really came down to it, he would protect you however necessary

But when he found out that you were more than capable of looking after yourself, his relief was monumental

He was still somewhat irrationally nervous about you going to dangerous locations alone, and insisted on accompanying you, but every time he witnessed you knocking someone out it only served to reassure him that you genuinely would be fine without him

Furthermore, your calm personality helped reduce his anxieties greatly

Spending time with you, enjoying the simple pleasures of life, and seeing how you were supposedly never really worried about anything brought him great amounts of comfort

You were like a rock he could always rely on for support: unshakable, strong, and dependable

Honestly, not a lot of people picked fights with the two of you

Between your completely relaxed demeanour in even the most threatening of circumstances, and Muriel’s sheer size and intimidating presence, most people did their best to stay out of your way

💙Asra💙

Asra is, perhaps, the only person who could rival your calmness on a day to day basis

The two of you seem to be completely in sync with your emotions (even without the help of your shared heart), and constantly exist in a state of relaxation

Even when you journey to the far ends of the Earth, the two of you seem to be completely comfortable with whatever situation you find yourselves in

You could be kidnapped and tied up in the back of a wagon, and you’d be joking with each other, seemingly not at all concerned with the circumstances

Of course, this is largely in part of the fact that both you and Asra now you could destroy anyone you really wanted to

Not that you would, but you absolutely could

Asra feels very reassured by the fact that he doesn’t have to protect you, even if he wants to do so anyway (although, the exception is anytime you appear to be sick, at which time he panics and refuses to allow you to do anything that may make it worse)

In all honesty, despite your skill, Asra doesn’t particularly want to encourage fighting

He would much prefer the two of you to cuddle up in the shop, drinking tea, and discussing what you did in the few parts of the day you weren’t together

💜Nadia💜

Admittedly, she’s a bit worried when she first witnesses your prowess on the battlefield

As incredible as your skills are, she worries about what you will do with him (her past with Lucio still makes her anxious, no matter how irrational the thought may be)

However, she’s greatly reassured when she sees how calm you are otherwise

She’s grateful to have someone relaxed in her life, to remind her to slow down and process what’s happening in her life, if even for a moment

Nadia enjoys hearing about your perspective on topics that are often emotionally charged— you seem to be able to remain level-headed when her couriers cannot

She also enjoys sparring with you when she has some time off

It’s a great way to relieve stress, and, since you’re a much more impressive fighter than she is (as outlandish as that may seem), she feels as though she’s actively improving for each moment longer she manages to stand against you

Please don’t go easy on her, she doesn’t appreciate being condescended to, and she’s eager to learn

Nadia appreciates that the two of you have so much to offer each other; learning and growing together is one of Nadia’s favourite parts of your relationship

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