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sentimentalslut · 4 days

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So I've hit a bit of a dead end in my life where I have no idea what to do or what I want to do. Do you have any advice on how to try and figure it all out?

Also I love ur duncney fics you should be an author <3

listen, anon. i'm 26. as much as i am flattered that you think i have it figured out, i do not. i'm willing to bet i wont have it figured out in ten years or twenty or forty-five. the thing is, i'm fine with that.

so here's my advice:

honestly, just keep living. put one foot in front of the other. find things you enjoy for no other purpose than enjoyment.

you don't have to 'do' anything -- living is about experiences. not every one of them have to have a purpose.

most of being human is drifting around and wondering why youre here. none of us really have the answer. that's okay. that's normal. maybe you'll never figure out what you're meant to 'do'. and that's fine!

the thing that keeps me anchored in the sea of Being Alive All the Time, and the thing that keeps most people anchored, is passion.

step one of discovering your passion, whatever it is, is to allow yourself to discover it. pick up pointless new hobbies and let yourself put them down if you dont enjoy them. read new books. read wikipedia articles for things youve never heard of. go on long walks in new parts of your neighborhood. listen to a new podcast. watch a video essay about something stupid youve always been curious about.

make bad art. paint shitty pictures, draw shitty portraits, write shitty stories. let yourself be bad at things. let yourself be purposeless.

accept the fact that you are human and unsure about your place in the universe -- because those two things go hand in hand. this is the curse of sentience. embrace it.

#sometimes knowing what to do will come to you #but that knowledge isnt permanent #you will always come unmoored #life is not lived in the safety of a harbor but on the open ocean #let yourself discover who you are. and then discover who you are again. and then discover who you are again. and then--#you are not at a dead end. you are at a crossroads #and if you just keep going you'll carry yourself to where you want to go #even if you have no idea where that is #anon #also thank you for reading my fics! see the 'make bad art' portion of this to know how i do it #sorry this is long im currently manic and i had so many thoughts #i am not the pinnacle of achievement my shit posts paint me as #i smoke too much weed and love a drunk ciggie i never do my laundry i dont believe in yardwork #i jump from hobby to hobby i spent too much money i love to cook but hate cooking #im the queen of procrastination i cry in court bathrooms i hold a grudge like its a hand #i cant figure out how to get my dog to listen to me i dont know when to shut up i dont know when to speak out #i forget to wear sunscreen i havent figured out how to forgive my father im a star wars prequel apologist #i dont know if ill ever know what to do or how to do it #i just keep moving forward and find what i need #your life is not a fetch quest for some higher purpose #it's just your life. try not to take it too seriously #ask #mumbles #jesus this is long

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randomingoftherandomness · 8 months

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Hi! How are u? I'm SO addicted with your writing! I'm loving it. I think I read all of your My journey stories.

I have a prompt (It's here the correct place? Idk, sorry if it isn't). Would you write some Alpha!Shangjue x Omega! Yuanzhi where Jue is shocked that Zhi is a omega. Breeding kink is welcomed! hahahaha

You are marvelous! ❤️

I would like to formally start this off by saying, thank you for the very kind compliment and I genuinely hope you like this.

And then I'm going to follow it up by saying that I'm gonna go take a dive in holy water now because Spicy Lemons season is getting me good and if anyone has any other kinky shit they want me to write about these two, the ask box is here, anon is on, and short of scat and necro, I'm pretty down with a lot of things.

Go forth, my fellow filthy heathens x

Tags: A/B/O, Mpreg, Unreliable Narrator, Breeding, Dubious Consent, Mating, Heat

🌶️🍋🌶️🍋🌶️🍋🌶️🍋🌶️🍋

The first time he catches a whiff of that scent, he's having dinner with Yuanzhi didi. Didi is happily eating his meal, enjoying the array of dishes -- his favourites; Shangjue wanted to dote on him a little -- while Shangjue is caught between a spark of arousal and a deep curiosity.

He lowers his bowl and takes a deep lungful of air.

Somewhere in his residence, very near him in fact, there's an Omega that is coming into their own.

The tang of sweetness in the scent is just on the edge of ripeness, and the heart notes of osmanthus and something bitter hint at the way that the Omega will very soon realise it. That's if the Omega won't be going into Heat before they do.

He should probably discuss this with the Head Steward. There are a few people stationed outside the door in case Yuanzhi or himself has any need to be served. If it's one of the younger maids or servants, it could be a scary experience and they should be given the space to feel comfortable.

Shangjue is very well aware that this is a delicate subject and while he doesn't feel up to disclosing how his sensitive sense of smell works, he isn't about to out anyone, least of all an Omega who quite possibly doesn't even know they've developed that sub-gender.

"... Gege?"

Shangjue comes back to himself with a quiet hum. "What did you say? Sorry, I was thinking of something."

Yuanzhi looks down at his bowl and softly asks, "Can I stay over tonight?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Shangjue bites back the urge to laugh. His Didi adorably puffs out his cheeks like an irritated squirrel, before he settles down. "I'm sure you'll stay over no matter what I say."

Yuanzhi seems to slump dejectedly. Come to think of it, Shangjue reckons he looks a bit feverish in the lamplight. In the week that he has been back, this is the first meal they've shared together. Shangjue had assumed that Yuanzhi was just busy, but now he sees he probably has some cause for concern.

"Can I sleep with you though?"

Shangjue feels something settle in his chest at the request. It's a feeling he immediately tucked into the back of his mind to examine at a different time.

"Just like how you used to when you were scared of thunderstorms?"

Yuanzhi sets his bowl down on the table. "Just tell me no if you don't want to." Biting his bottom lip, he rises to leave. That settled feeling burns into something urgent and panicked. Shangjue immediately catches Yuanzhi by the sleeve, sighing.

"I didn't say no," He gently coaxes, tugging him back into his seat. "I just wanted to know if you want to share my bed or if you want me to get the maids to prepare your room for you."

Yuanzhi is still sulky but he quietly says, "With you."

Shangjue has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from cooing at his Didi's pouting. It's so charming and his fingers itch for a brush to paint him like this.

"Go get cleaned up. You can wear my pyjamas tonight."

This seems to be the right thing to say because it has Yuanzhi perking up, eyes sparkling with pure happiness. He shoots up, thanking Shangjue with a quick hug before he rushes off to the bathing room.

Adorable.

He lifts his bowl to finish his food when his nose catches a stronger whiff of the Omega. The scent is deeper, richer and it sends a jolt of desire down his spine.

That won't do.

Abandoning his dinner, he calls for the Head Steward. Maybe he should see if he has any suppressant in store to keep himself from going into a rut in response to the Omega. Not that he thinks he would, but it won't hurt to err on the side of caution.

Yuanzhi is in bed, eyes big and bright as they watch him dry his hair. It's strangely unseasonably warm tonight; perhaps just a last flush of summer warmth before the weather gives in to an autumnal chill. His Didi has chosen the inner side of the bed, just like he used to when he was a child. Shangjue smiles at that thought, shedding a layer of his robes for comfort before snuffing out the candles, and climbing into bed.

The scent of the Omega has been haunting him the whole evening and it's setting an itch in the back of his teeth.

He should go to the clinic to get a dose of suppressant in the morning just in case the Head Steward cannot find any in their stores. But for now, he is happy to snuggle up to his Didi.

Pulling Yuanzhi against him, he curls his fingers through his hair, scraping nails to the scalp. Yuanzhi practically purrs and Shangjue files the little happy smile on his face to his memories just in case he ever misses his little brother when he is away.

Yuanzhi nuzzles against his shoulder. A habit he does when he is seeking comfort. The world quiets away when Shangjue continues to comb his fingers through long unbraided hair.

"Go to sleep, Didi. Gege is here," He murmurs.

He should have known the universe would find a way to sneak in a wrench to his happier moments.

Sometime during the middle of the night, he dreams of waking.

A lightning of desire coils deep in his belly and he wakes in that liminal lull when you cannot decide whether you’re still sleeping or pushing to the shores of consciousness. The scent of osthmanthus carries him.

Looking over at Yuanzhi didi sleeping next to him, he surges in, pressing his nose to the mating glands on his neck, scent drunk.

There’s something urgent nudging at his mind. Something he needs to remember but every thought and every inhibition falls away when Yuanzhi arching off the bed with a silent scream the second Shangjue has his mouth wrapped around that pulsing gland.

Shangjue drowns in a thick blanket of osmanthus.

Yuanzhi is calling for him.

Calling, “Gege, please…”

What is he asking for?

Shangjue burns to provide. Every second he doesn’t give to fulfilling a purpose is a second wasted. Shangjue wants…

Yuanzhi.

Yuanzhi, who has his legs spread around Shangjue’s thigh, rocking his hips, rutting like a bitch in heat. His pale face is ruddy red, lips parting and making a whining keen that strikes Shangjue deep in his core.

The collars of Yuanzhi’s robe slips. Exposing the dark pebble hard nubs on his sweaty chest. Slipping further with every roll of his hips. Yuanzhi looks debauched and Shangjue has not even touched him.

Yet.

Because the backs of his teeth itch and he can feel the heavy press of his cock just waiting on a slip up from Yuanzhi. Just one that brings the leaking cocklet that peeks out from under the hem of the robe.

Just one that will give Shangjue all the reason he needs to—

“Gege…!”

Shangjue is on him. Pushing him onto his back, sliding into the cradle of his legs and pressing him open. He rucks up the bottom of the robe, making sure Yuanzhi is watching when he kisses right on the quivering muscle of his belly, the slowly marking the path down south, right through the dark wiry thatch of hair that hides a delicate flower underneath.

His probably should have connected the dots then and there.

Something stirs in Shangjue. It’s a primal need. A motivation that calls his Alpha to breed his Omega.

The urgent thought twists a half-hearted dying wail before it floats into nothingness.

And so he does.

Time slips through his fingers and is only marked by flashes of awareness in the shapes and sounds of Yuanzhi, Yuanzhi, Yuanzhi.

At some point, he sinks his fingers into the blessed heat of his body, swallowing down his Didi’s moans with his lips. At another point, he has Yuanzhi’s twitching thighs pressing on either sides of his head as he chases the taste of his slick, hypnotised by the way his virginal cries sound as he scrapes his tongue to his folds.

Yuanzhi writhes. Making sounds Shangjue has never thought he would ever hear come from his Didi’s lips. It’s addictive. Bolstered by the thought that he’s the one who drew it out of him and sealed by his desire to keep being the only one who gets to see this side of him.

Shangjue is guided by the singular need to breed him.

That first slide into Yuanzhi is heavenly. The second is a promise of a future where Shangjue is going to forever want Yuanzhi hanging off his knot, pumping his Didi full of come.

Awareness fuzzes out around the edges and Shangjue surrenders himself to the slick, wet heated pleasure of his most precious person being pressed down under him and fucked until he has knotted him again and again and again.

And then.

Then.

Then, Shangjue comes back to his skin.

It happens while he's knotted for the nth time in Yuanzhi. Sometime during the passage of days, one of the Elders had tried to step in and separate them, only for Shangjue to beat him back all while Yuanzhi was lost to the mindless pleasure of fucking himself back on Shangjue's cock.

He'd mated him then, with half the senior family members in his room, watching with horror as he bred his Didi and claimed him with a bite over his mating gland. A proper one. Bloody and true like they used to do in the old days.

There will be no challenge to Shangjue's claim. There was no legal way they could break this mating without harming them both when there were witnesses to their joining. Morally, well, that was subjective and Shangjue doesn't care too much for that when Yuanzhi's his by every definition of the word.

It has already begun to scar.

The sight of it pleases the Alpha in him. More so when Yuanzhi's soft belly is slightly protruding from all the loads Shangjue had kept pumping into him.

There's a distant part of him, one thought that had tried to worm its way into the forefront of his consciousness that tried to tell him of the truth he couldn't quite process in his rut-buzzed mind.

Yuanzhi, his beautiful, wild and stunningly brilliant Didi is an Omega. One, if the flashes of memories are to be believed, he had fucked again and again, wringing out orgasms from his slender body until he begged to be allowed to sleep, yet still welcomed him into his body with eager moans and searching hands.

His precious Didi, the one he'd raised, the same one who'd looked at him with worship and adoration in his eyes, is now the one he knows the look of when he comes. The same one with slick Shangjue can taste on his tongue. The Omega that pleases his Alpha to be mated to.

Yuanzhi was the reason for the osmanthus scent in his household.

Even now, the scent lingers in their sex-soaked room. But it sits muted, calmer, and mingled with something richer.

Shangjue wraps his arms around Yuanzhi, wincing when the movement shifts his unconscious Omega on his knot. Bringing him closer, he kisses the mating mark, breathing in the smell.

Then again.

His hands tremble when they cup Yuanzhi's face, carefully cradling his beautiful Omega. It's faint, but it's there.

Somewhere in his Didi, there's the sign of a new life.

Emotions stir in him. Happiness, that after all this time, he won't be the only Jue left. Elation that their first coupling has resulted in a pregnancy this quick. They'll have to check afterwards, but the fact was this.

Yuanzhi is pregnant.

Didi is pregnant and the seed is Shangjue's.

His knot deflates soon after, barely able to hold on to hardness after all the sex. It's not a problem for Shangjue. The fuzz of his rut sits further off his consciousness now. No longer brewing just under his skin.

Yuanzhi's hole twitches, almost mourning the shape of him and for a brief moment, Shangjue entertains the thoughts of sinking back into the deep warmth of his body, but decides against it.

His Yuanzhi whimpers a little before sighing in his sleep. Shangjue wraps him up in his arms, kissing his neck, his cheek, the corner of his eye. They might have skipped the whole courting process and went straight to a mating, but it doesn't mean Yuanzhi doesn't deserve him making an effort. There'll be time until their lives change again to accommodate another human, but in that time, Shangjue will court and woo Yuanzhi; shower him with plenty of love and affection.

His pretty flower is a shade of rosy fucked out red, drooling a tickle of white.

Shangjue feels his cock twitch in response.

Maybe just one more time. Just for good luck.

#mpreg #gong shangjue x gong yuanzhi #shangzhi #juezhi #my journey to you fic #gab writes stuff #okay i need a ciggy after writing this

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