#i need a palette cleanser damn it

[ghost-proofbaby]

i know i was just bragging about angst and such but if someone accidentally fell into my ask box with either sweet eddie headcanons or ideas, or fluffy eddie requests...

i'd be eternally grateful.

#i need something sickly sweet #i want tooth-rotting fluff to write after work #i need a palette cleanser damn it #all my current wips are angst how did this happen #i was so careful (i was not careful at all)

[hawksights]

Like/reply for a one liner/lyric starter?

#ooc; kai speaks | post #ooc; out damned spot! | to be deleted #[ I need a palette cleanser bc of work ] #[ and Roy is refusing to work with me ]

[zepskies]

Didn't Mean to Stay

Pairing: Beau Arlen x Female Reader 

Summary: After three months, you ask Beau to make it clear. Is he serious about this relationship, or are you two just passing time?

AN: I've done a lot of Soldier Boy recently, so here's Beau for a palette cleanser. 😂 This came about from this music prompt a while back! I’m happy to finally get to this. 

Song Inspo: “Didn’t Mean to Stay All Night” by Starship

Word Count: 1,700 Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Nudity, fluff, bit of angst.

In times like these, you really hated the sun. 

You squeezed your eyes tighter, trying to block out the beam of light that seemed to be hitting you directly between the eyes. 

Damn. Really need to get those blinds fixed.

You’d asked your landlord about it a few times now. Not to mention the backed up garbage disposal in your sink, and your refrigerator that kept leaking something green.

Whatever. Rent’s cheap for a reason, you mused. 

With a sleepy sigh, you rolled over and met resistance. A toned, freckled arm was in your way. You slipped a hand around the familiar bicep, soothing warm fingers over chilled skin. 

A deep hum reached you, followed by Beau’s head lolling over.

A smile growing across your lips, you snuggled closer and perched your chin on his shoulder. And with gentle fingers, you traced across his brows, sweeping away locks of his brown hair. You then traced down his nose, the bow of his lips, the point of his bearded chin.

When his green eyes finally opened, they found your face with fond, if sleepy exasperation. It seemed you couldn’t help but wake him up. But he could admit, you gave the best damn wake up calls. 

“There’s a man in my bed,” you said. Your cheeky smile grew along with his.

“That there is,” he said. His eyes roamed your face, probably for the same reason you traced his. He unearthed a hand from below the covers to thumb at your chin, tilting your face up to him for a slow morning kiss. 

But as always with Sheriff Beau Arlen, it never stopped there. His hand swept across your cheek, into your hair that was still tangled from the night before. You went willingly into his embrace, slipping your naked thigh between his legs and half lying on his chest. His bare skin felt cool against yours. 

“Why’re you so cold?” you wondered with a frown. You rubbed down his arm, his chest, his back and shoulders, whatever exposed skin you could reach. Beau quirked a smile and held you tighter against him, pressing your breasts against his chest. His hands splayed across your back and playfully squeezed you. 

“Why’re you so warm?” he countered. “Thought it was my job to bring the heat here.” 

You snorted in response. “That’s a shared responsibility, sir.”

You felt his length growing against your thigh in response to your touch, and you were tempted to reach below the sheets to give him a proper “good morning.” Beau’s nipping kisses along your neck distracted you, however. 

“Guess I’m not used to winters in Montana just yet,” he admitted. His voice was deep and still a bit coarse. Delight tingled down your spine as you ran a warm hand up and down his back. 

“That’s okay. I’ll help you acclimate,” you said in his ear. His chuckle reverberated in your chest, down to your toes. 

“I’m sure you will, darlin’,” he said with that Texan drawl of his. It was always thicker when he was sleepy. You also heard the smile in his voice. “Though I gotta wonder if we haven’t been doing just that for the past few months.”

Your lips pressed thoughtfully against his neck. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about that.”

“Yeah?”

You leaned back so you could see his face, and you held a hand to his cheek. Just as you drew your courage enough to ask him what had been plaguing your mind for weeks now, Beau caught sight of the digital clock on your nightstand. 

“Aw, damn,” he said. “Didn’t mean to stay all night again.”

You couldn’t help but deflate at that. Withdrawing your hand, your smile faded. He caught the change when he glanced back up at you, and his brows furrowed. 

“Sorry, it’s just…Carla’s bringing my daughter this morning. I’m taking her out for breakfast before my shift,” he admitted. 

You nodded at that, though you still hadn’t officially met his daughter Emily. Not as his girlfriend at least…but then again, even after three months, you weren’t sure if you’d earned that label. 

Clearly you hadn’t, as Beau wasn’t inviting you to breakfast.

He probably just wants to spend some one-on-one time with his daughter, you tried to reason. You knew he didn’t get to see her as often as he liked. 

“If she likes pancakes, might want to take her to The Belgian. They make a mean three-egg scramble too,” you supplied, giving him a smile as you started to detangle yourself from his embrace. 

Beau quirked a brow and caught you quick by the wrist. “Not so fast there.”

Your breath caught in your throat when he guided you back down. He clasped your hand to his chest and peered up at your face, raising his brows, searching your gaze. 

“Am I missing somethin’ here?” he asked. 

You rose a brow back. Maybe you were feeling a bit petulant. “I don’t think so.”

Beau heard your tone loud and clear. His brows furrowed as his thumb drew back and forth over the back of your hand. Then, his eyes brightened with a realization.

“What were you trying to tell me just a minute ago?” he asked. Your lips pursed.

“Nothing,” you denied, trying to tug your hand out of his. He held firm, but his frown deepened. 

“For damn sure, that’s not your nothing face,” he said. “Level with me, please?”

The longer you chanced staring into his eyes, the quicker his earnestness got to you. You let out a sigh and relaxed back down in the bed. You laid on your side and squeezed your fingers around his hand. 

“Beau, I don’t want to put any more pressure on you than you already have.” At work, and in other areas of his life, as he’d managed to tell you. Mind you, that had come after weeks and months of letting him know, in whatever ways you could, that his deeper thoughts and worries were safe with you. 

“But I have to know,” you said. “…What are we doing here?”

Beau looked surprised by the question. It took him long enough to answer that you had to assume the worst.

“Look, I understand if you’re not ready for something serious right now,” you said, hating the shake in your voice. “But, um…if that’s what this is for you, then I’m not sure I can keep on.”

Beau frowned. “All right. Hold on.”

Again, he gently tugged you back from pulling away from him. He held your cheek this time, and he was prepared to catch the tears he saw welling up in your eyes. 

“Maybe I haven’t made myself clear. And I’m sorry, I guess that’s my fault,” he said. His thumb soothed against your cheek, but it was his smile that gave you hope. 

“I was operating under the assumption that you’re my girl… That all right with you?” he asked with his usual charm, and maybe a bit of cheek. 

A slow smile tugged at your lips, just as relief began to make you feel lighter.

“It just might be,” you quipped. That earned you his grin in return. 

Beau leaned up and drew you into a kiss, slow at first, but quickly gaining in passion. His arms slipped around you again, pulling you onto his chest, then rolling you underneath him. You squealed in surprise at the move.

He caged you between his arms bracing on either side of your head, and his knees trapped your hips. You ran your hands up his bare chest, smiling in approval at the new warmth on his skin. 

But then you stopped him short of kissing you again as something occurred to you. 

“You need to get home,” you reminded him. “Emily’s going to be waiting for you soon.”

Beau hesitated, brows furrowing because he knew you were right, but he still gave you one more deep kiss.

“Say.” He briefly parted from you. “Got any plans this morning?”

Your smile grew, as warm as your hand on his cheek. 

“Not really. It’s a Saturday with me, myself, and I,” you replied. Beau plied you with his lips, once, twice, and then burned a slow, hot path down your neck. 

“Well, I think it’s high time I introduced my daughter to my girlfriend over a short stack of pancakes,” he said. He then pulled back enough to see your face, and he asked a question with his eyes. “That is, if she’s willing.”

Your smile for him was brighter than that golden beam of sunlight, which once again hit you dead in the face and nearly blinded you. 

But from where Beau was sitting, it just managed to make your eyes shine with every shade of beauty. 

“She could be persuaded,” you said. Your smile turned teasing. “She’s also got a leaky sink that needs fixing…and quite honestly, that fridge is starting to scare me.”

Beau’s chuckle shook the bed. “Shoulda known that ask would come with a price tag. Free pancakes ain’t enough for you?”

When he dipped down for another kiss, you mischievously turned your head so he got your cheek instead. 

“Oh, now you’re playin’ hard to get?” he quipped. “I see how it is…”

You giggled as his body weight playfully threatened to crush you. But you trailed your fingers through his hair and showed him your earnestness this time. 

“Of course I want to meet your daughter, Beau. I know it hasn’t been that long but…” You bit your lip against a deeper confession, though you knew he would find it in your eyes. 

His face softened, eyes crinkling at the corners with his smile. 

“How’s this. After my shift tonight, I’ll start on fixing that wily fridge,” he offered. 

Your insides warmed like maple syrup, and you twined your arms around his neck.

“Make it tomorrow,” you said. Your eyes twinkled with mischief. “I’ve got plans for you tonight.”

AN: Aww, writing this 'lil fic made me all warm and fuzzy. 🥰 Let me know what you think!

(I also have more Soldier Boy imagines coming soon, either next week or this week, if I get impatient lol.)

Big Sky Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Tag List:

@deans-baby-momma @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @deanwanddamons @antisocialcorrupt @iprobablyshipit91 @agalliasi @venicesem @deans-spinster-witch @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @solariklees @xsophianicolex @deansbbyx @mimaria420 @candy-coated-misery0731 @curlycarley @sarahgracej @bagpussjocken @waters-2567 @ultrahviolentart @deans-spinster-witch @this-is-me19 @kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @ades106 @jacklesdeanvessel @foxyjwls007 @wincastifer @emily-winchester @beautyvaliant @chernayawidow @beskarfilms

#Didn't Mean to Stay #big sky #beau arlen #beau arlen x reader #beau arlen x female reader #beau arlen x you #beau arlen fics #fluff #angst #smuttish #zepskies writes

[bg-brainrot]

Hugs for a Vampire (Astarion x GN!Reader) - Chapter 4: After Encountering Araj

Chapter 4: After Encountering Araj

Each chapter can be read as a standalone hug.

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader (Rogue!Tav)

Genre: Fluffy, Filling in Canon

Rating: Teen

Tags: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, POV Second Person, Act 2, Canon-typical violence, cw: Astarion's past, Feelings Realization

WC: 3k words, 4/18 chapters

Summary: Set in Act 2 after infiltrating Moonrise and meeting Araj, a retelling of the Act 2 romance with some extra dialogue. The canon-hug!

Ao3 | [Hug3][Hug5] | Hugs for a Vampire Masterlist

Your team is tired. It’s been several days of travel through the Cursed Shadowlands, and you, for one, can’t wait for this damned curse to be lifted. You’ve done all you can with Halsin’s help, all that’s left is to defeat Ketheric. The man’s demise can’t come swiftly enough, especially after you had the absolute honor of meeting him yesterday.

Infiltrating Moonrise Towers was surprisingly easy for your group. You simply said you belonged there and everyone seemed to trust you, all because of the worm that takes residence in your skull. It probably helped that it was a short visit: free some prisoners, meet Ketheric, scope out the location, run into a slew of its inhabitants and leave as soon as you get the information you need.

There were a few moments of awkwardness in your adventure. You told off a disgusting drow woman who made Astarion uncomfortable, a cat insulted you and your hunting, and a half-orc was utterly entranced by your lust filled thoughts of Astarion. And that was all in the span of a few hours.

It’s no wonder that today’s been a bit calmer for you all. Your team is on the outskirts of the towers, searching the remains of its previously bustling settlement. However, being out of the lion’s den doesn’t mean you feel any less tense today.

Astarion has been oddly distant since you left Moonrise yesterday. You can’t help but worry for him, knowing that he takes to sulking alone at times. Perhaps the tower was a reminder of bad memories? Maybe the reality of your situation was just too much right now.

Either way, you know that it’s you that needs to get to the bottom of it, as he keeps sneaking glances your way. Each time you catch him looking, his gaze darts away and his brow furrows as he stares at the ground. It might be comical if it didn’t instill a deep concern in you.

Honestly, you’d ask him what was wrong here and now if it weren’t for your companions, Shadowheart and Karlach. They have certainly noticed something amiss, Astarion is almost never without a quick quip, but they decide not to acknowledge it. Despite his occasional bravado, he’s a private person, and it wouldn’t do to corner him as a group.

And so, the rest of your day is spent in an awkward silence, somehow amplified by the eerie stillness surrounding you. You decide to search through the Mason’s Guild, hoping for a palette cleanser to help your team feel like themselves again. For one particular teammate to feel like himself again.

As you had hoped, it’s not difficult work. At one point Karlach even whines to you, “Soldier, I’m bored. Aren’t we going to see some action today?”

She, of course, gets her wish moments later when your group faces off against some Shadow Vestiges. 

“Please be more careful next time,” Shadowheart chides, healing a wound on Karlach’s arm after the battle. “The Lady of Sorrows can only do so much when you charge into a group like that.”

The tiefling laughs at that and flexes her arm a bit. “How else am I going to impress our leader?” She shoots you a wink and a smile, which you deftly deflect with a thumbs up.

“Consider me impressed, Karlach,” you call into the wide room with an echo. “I’m swooning!”

She comments something in approval, but you don’t catch it as you see Astarion slinking off into the dark recesses of the Mason’s Guild. You excuse yourself, humor leaving your voice as you follow him into the shadows.

You think you hear Astarion muttering to himself, swearing, and you follow the sound to him. When you finally find him, the vampire just looks at you, eyes dark and face torn. It’s been too much for you to bear all day, and you can’t help but snap at him now, “Do you need to talk?”

“Later,” he says, through gritted teeth. His eyes close and he softens his expression, “Please, just come by my tent later.”

You relent for now, but it’s only a short while later that you decide to call it an early day. “For no reason,” you say to Karlach, when she asks why. “We’ve just had a rough couple of days.”

Shadowheart, catching the way your eyes trail Astarion, places a hand on Karlach’s shoulder. “You need to rest that wound of yours, alright?”

Karlach visibly slumps, but says, “Alright. Goddess’s orders or something, I guess.”

Finally leaving the land surrounding Moonrise in your dust, you head back to camp. 

___

You head toward Astarion’s tent at the first opportunity. You’re resolved to get to the bottom of what might be bothering him. Whatever it is, it can’t be worse than illithids or Cazador– in short, nothing that you can’t handle together. On the way, you try to convince yourself you would go to any lengths for all of your companions. Underneath it all, you know that you would go a bit further for this particular man. Leave it to me to link my happiness to the emotions of a vampire, you think to yourself, annoyed.

You shake the scowl off your face before turning the corner to Astarion’s tent. Once you approach, you find that he’s already standing there, waiting for you expectantly.

“I want to thank you,” he says, starting off the conversation once you’re close enough. He seems oddly unsure, either of how to approach the subject or of the very words coming out of his mouth.

Raising a single eyebrow at him, your worry takes a secondary role to the confusion his words cause. “You’re welcome?” you question, not sure what prompted such a sentence from his lips.

“For what you said, while I was in front of that vile drow,” he explains, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. His voice begins heating up as he continues, “I spent two hundred years using my body to lure pretty things back for my Master. What I wanted, how I felt about what I was doing, it never mattered.”

You take a step towards him, your heart reacting to the pain in his words, to the anger on his face. Despite getting closer over the past several weeks, you still feel scared to console him, afraid he’ll take off like a skittish cat. You decide that this is enough for now, saying just his name, “Astarion…”

He doesn’t startle, only continues a bit calmer, “You could have asked me to do the same– to throw myself at her, what I wanted be damned. But you didn’t.” He sounds in awe at the very idea, his red eyes wide. “And I’m grateful.”

Understanding fully dawns on you now, as you see the situation from his perspective. Leveling a serious look at him, you say earnestly, “I didn't want you to do something you don’t want to do. Actually, I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.” You hope that your words ring as fiercely as you feel them.

“It’s a novel concept I admit. And a… a little intimidating.” His eyes are big, fear at war with a warmth at your words. “It would have been so easy to bite her. To just go along with what I was being told to do.” Astarion continues flippantly now, waving a hand as he speaks, “A moment of disgust to force myself through. And then I could have carried on, just like before.”

A transaction. He says it so casually, masking the pain that you know he feels. But you’re still a person, a person who might have been just another checkmark on his to-do list, another thing to force himself through. Despite yourself, you’re hurt. Afraid of the answer, but needing it all the same, you ask, “So why sleep with me? Did you think you’d get something from it?”

“Of course, I needed protection,” he laughs, and you can feel your heart pounding painfully against your chest in response. He remains casual though, so you temper your hurt, waiting for his full answer. “People don’t trust vampires– perhaps understandably– so I needed to get someone on my side. And seducing you was easy, frankly.”

You look at him skeptically, recalling that it was not, in fact, easy. “Huh, okay. We might be remembering that a bit differently.” But you motion for him to continue– as far as ‘thank yous’ go, this one has been distinctly gut-wrenching, and you hope that he’s reaching a point.

“So imagine how stupid I felt…” he says, eyes darting away nervously. Cautiously, Astarion returns his eyes to you– his face is open, bearing an expression more vulnerable than any you’ve seen from him. “When I started to genuinely feel something for you.”

Your breath catches in your throat, brain processing what he’s just said far too sluggishly. What, you think to yourself, did he say?

Reading the shock on your face, he continues to clarify, “Trust me, I was not happy about it. You were a complication I didn’t see coming. And yet…” His voice trails off, looking at you as if daring himself to be hopeful.

You already know your answer, what your heart feels. You’ve known for quite some time, resisting it all the while, thinking he could never feel the same way. But here you are now, his wide eyes and exposed heart waiting for you to say something– anything. Wracking your brain, you think of the skittish cat again. You don’t want to scare him or seem disingenuous, not now. You settle on a simple, achingly honest, “I care about you.”

“Really?” he asks, breathless in the moment, eyes wide in anticipation. The anxious optimism is written plainly on his face and your body moves, almost on instinct.

You’ve been so afraid to be tender before, worrying that he may not feel the same way or even believe you. Now though, you know this is the best way to show how you truly feel. To make him realize that you don’t see him as a body to take pleasure in or as someone who serves as a means to an end.

You close the distance between you, wrapping him in a full-body hug. 

He seems surprised at the sudden contact. Unlike any embrace you’ve had before, it’s not sexual, it’s not tentative. It’s simply full of all of the love you can muster.

After a second’s hesitation, you can feel him move to hug you back, his hands come to rest on your back softly. You squeeze him to yourself a bit tighter in response, and he leans into you, his head tucking into the crook of your neck. You stand like that for a long moment, the camp around you long forgotten, the world, your problems, they might as well be in another plane of existence. The feel of his arms around you, the tickle of his hair on your skin, the warmth you’re sharing – it feels so utterly intimate. More than anything else you’ve done together thus far.

When the time comes, you’re reluctant to let go. You know it has to be you to break it though. With the way he’s leaning into you, the pressure of his body pressing into yours, Astarion may never break this hug. But let go you do, standing back a step to take in the man before you.

Awe colors his pale face, as if he can’t believe that this is really happening. He takes a second to blink at you before saying, “You… you’re full of surprises, aren’t you?” 

You chuckle in response, shooting him a wry smile, “I think my feelings may only be a surprise to you, Astarion.” You have a sneaking suspicion that at least a few members of your merry crew are exchanging knowing looks at each other right now, watching this drama unfold from the comfort of their tents.

“Honestly,” he gives a shaky laugh. “I have no idea what we’re doing. Or what comes next.”

He slowly holds out his hand to you, a cautious invitation. It’s a simple gesture, but you’re not certain you’ve ever just… held his hand before. It almost makes you timid. You push down the butterflies and place your hand in his, looking up to find his ruby eyes intensely focused on you. The affection in his eyes wash away all of your nerves, and the smile that comes to your face is beaming.

Reading your expression, Astarion gets a step closer. He places his second hand atop yours and says, “But I know that this... this is nice.”

Then he just smiles at you, eyes crinkling in pure, unfiltered joy, and it reaches to your core. It feels like sunshine after a storm, a light in the murky depths of the Shadowlands. You think you could live off of his smile alone.

Again, you stand together for a moment, drinking in the feelings that have surfaced, basking in this nervous little bliss you’ve built together. By the time you break apart, your hand has warmed his cool skin and you can hear the sounds of your companions continuing camp life around you.

You give an awkward cough, not sure what to do next. The relationship between you has changed, but you’re not sure how yet, or how you should approach it. Nothing your usual wit can’t handle, you suppose. “And here I was, worried all day that some new, undying horror was plaguing you.”

“Gods above, I wish,” he says dramatically. “But no, it was the far more difficult matter of my stupid heart versus my beautiful, pragmatic brain.”

“I’m sad I didn’t get to witness the epic battle,” you give him a disappointed face that does nothing at all to mask the glee you feel at imagining his thoughts firmly revolving around you all day.

Astarion gives you a reluctant smirk before saying, “You missed a bloodbath. Last night, I stared at the roof of my tent, just considering all of the ways you may reject me. Like some kind of pining prepubescent boy.” His face winces at the image. “I thought I may never feel like myself again.”

While amusing, you’re surprised he thought you would ever reject him. “I always thought you were the perceptive one. Did you really not notice how I felt?”

He gives a light laugh at your incredulity. “My love,” your heart thrills at the new pet name. “I make hearts race regularly– whether from fear or lust, who am I to say?” Astarion gives you a sidelong look before continuing in a slightly sullen tone, “Besides, you’ve always seemed incredibly close to Karlach, I didn’t want to presume.”

“Ah, yes. She tried,” you look a bit abashed, thinking back to the night she asked you for something more. “But… I wasn’t sure what we had. And I didn’t want to ruin it, no matter what it was.”

“Seems I should have trusted your good taste.” He looks proud, but somehow you’re certain that it’s not just pride in himself. “You are incredible.”

You feel almost overwhelmed at his praise. If this is what being in a relationship with him is like, you’re not certain your heart will be able to handle it. While you consider that thought, the question of your relationship begins burning a hole in you. “So,” you drawl, not certain how to broach the subject. You’re still incredibly careful about scaring him off, especially when the connection you’ve built is such a new, delicate thing. “What exactly are…  we?” You add on, “To you?” as a safeguard. He needs to know that he can formulate his own opinion and you won’t push the matter. 

He produces an anxious little sigh, “I don’t know. But isn’t it nice, not to know?”

The look you give him is likely more nervous than you intend. “I suppose.”

“Ugh, you’re not a victim, not a target, not just one night it’s better to forget. But then… whatever in the world could you be?” Astarion looks confused, desperate for an answer he’s not ready for.

You know it’s not your place to give it to him. And, to be honest, even this admission makes your heart feel full, comforted. “That’s okay,” you respond. “Let’s take our time, figure it out together?”

“I’d like that.” His small smile is genuine and his hand is back on yours, squeezing gently.

An involuntary yawn escapes you, the day’s exertions catching up to you as the conversation winds down. “Oh, sorry,” you cover your mouth with your free hand. “I didn’t mean to–”

“No need to worry, darling.” He lifts the hand he’s holding to his lips and leaves a cool, gentle kiss before continuing, “It’s late. Our feelings will still be there in the morning.” He shoots you an anxious glance before continuing, “I hope.”

You grin at him, all too happy to reassure him. This is new to you both, but especially to a vampire who hasn’t known a gentle embrace in centuries. “I’m afraid you can’t be rid of me that easily. I’m not a wound that can heal up overnight, you know.”

Astarion leans into you to say, “If you were, I think I’d simply never sleep again.”

Your heart races at his weird little compliment. And, while your body begs you for the sweet relief of sleep, your head and heart scream at you to stay awake, to while away the rest of the night next to him and relish in whatever it is that’s blossoming here.

He can sense your hesitation to leave and tugs on your hand gently. “I’m probably doing this all backwards, but would you like to sleep with me? Not,” he stresses quickly, “sex. Just… resting together, perhaps?”

“Yes, please,” you say, earnestly. “I’d love to know what was so fascinating about the ceiling of your tent.”

Your new paramour shoots you an annoyed look, but continues to pull you after him, leading you to his bedroll. His hand is warm from your touch and you silently swear to keep it that way.

#astarion #astarion x tav #fanfic #astarion fic #astarion x reader #rogue + rogue #astarion fanfiction #astarion fanfic #astarion fluff #astarion masterlist #hugs for a vampire #hfav #astarion x gn reader #astarion x gn!tav #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 astarion

[rwrbficrecs]

Readers' Choice Rec List Part 7 of 7

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 (ft. sentimental thank you note from me at the end ❤️)

History in the Making by watchmecope

anon: It is an adorable piece that has made me laugh more than once. It's a fantastic palette cleanser if I read something a bit too angsty!

All our Sweetest Hours Fly Fastest by AHistoricDistraction (WIP)

anon: This fic is so good and so suspenseful! It is so thoroughly researched with so much feeling

And All The Tears On Her Guitar by @saywhatjessie

anon: This is so good for a number of reasons, but my favorite part was finally finding someone who didn't make me feel bad for not liking Taylor Swift.

(don't be alarmed if i fall) head over feet by weather_stained

anon: This fic is so damn funny. It is 100% crack, and I love it!

Give 'em hell by th0ughts

anon: Great look into Alex and Martha's potential relationship.

Gemma's husband by floatingaway4

anon: Lovely and original take on firstprince through an outside perspective

Nova, Baby by @cha-melodius

@leaves-of-laurelin: Amazing spy au. Reading it feels like watching an sexy, action-packed, heart-wrenching movie.

I trace your constellations by viciouslyqueer

anon: A well written taste of representation that doesn't once feel like pandering. A feel good falling in love tale.

A Whole Problem by @thenburntheashes

@daisymae-12: A fic I come back to often, especially when I'm in need of some roommates + college au goodness ❤️

Just a sappy lil thank you note from me (@daisymae-12) A huge THANK YOU once again for following and supporting this blog. When we hosted this celebration for 500 followers, I didn't think we'd currently be at 1k but here we are 🥺 It's been so nice to spread joy through this blog for both authors and readers 🥰 I've also ended up with such a lovely discord community with the Volunteer team, so a big thank you to them as well for helping out and for contributing so much. I wouldn't be able to do this without them, it really takes a village ❤️ Last but not least: shoutout to my husband who has listened to all of my blog ideas and ramblings. For the amazing IT support, writing me code to not only generate index spreadsheets and html formatting, but a code to download every single fic in the rwrb ao3 tag so I can search within fics as well 😭 We're continuing to workshop ways to improve the admin side of the blog with his codes, so this blog is his passion project as much as it is mine ❤️ He always goes above & beyond in his support of my hobbies and I am so grateful ❤️

#readers choice #rwrb fic recs #red white and royal blue #firstprince

[0alanasworld0]

Our Allens <3

How would our boys react to the Barbie Movie?

Warnings: none

♡ Yassine ♡

I imagine that out of the two of you he’d be the first to see the trailer when it comes out.

Like minutes into its release, already in his Youtube recommended 

He was well beyond the age of acting like he was too cool for it

It looked fun and right up your alley

You’re busy with work and he doesn’t close your laptop but he holds his phone over it so you can watch

You’re not too happy with the interruption but he just seems so excited, practically buzzing so you take the phone.

2 minutes and 42 seconds later, you’re up on your feet and buzzing with him

He’s quick to sift through your shared closet for things to wear (before everyone else decided to do it)

He’s got some pink dress shirts so he thinks he’ll be fine but you on the other hand

He’s not impressed by the lack of variety

There’s months before the film comes out but no, you need to be prepared and NOW

Practically dragging you to the mall to look for stuff because there is NO WAY you’re going to this film underdressed

He picks a hot pink skirt and white top that he thinks you would look cute in

He’s got surprisingly good taste, let's just say that and before you even open your purse, he’s paid for it.

As the release date gets closer and closer and more trailers come out, he has a new and even more brilliant idea

All black 

“If you wanted to go to Oppenheimer instead, you could have said!”

He gasps in offence and pulls out the screen-cap that inspired him

“... also what is Oppenheimer exactly?”

“Yassine, I can’t wear a damn tiara!” “Why not?”

You end up having to wear the tiara

You spend about half an hour taking photos in the Barbie box before doing anything

He doesn’t post anything because he never posts anything but you certainly do and it gets reposted onto the Sevilla instagram because it’s just too darn cute

He cries at the Billie Eilish bit but gets over it quickly so you can jam to the Ice Spice remix together

“I promise you that I’m more of an Allen than a Ken, Angel. I would never believe in patriarchy! And I hate horses!” “...” ��Okay I don’t hate horses but you get the idea!”

“So do you want to watch oppenheimer?” “Angel, I still don’t know what that is if I’m being completely honest.”

He thought that Barbenheimer was just a cool reference to how well the film was gonna do

“Why is it such a big deal that they come out at the same time? Mamma Mia and the Dark Knight also came out at the same time and no one said anything about that!”

You do end up watching for the sake of it but he’s not feeling it at all.

“Do you think that Cilian Murphy is more attractive than me?” “He could never.” 

He’s quite pleased with that answer and he gets all blushy

He ends up dragging you to the next screen to watch barbie again right after for a ‘palette cleanser’

♡ Abde ♡

You’re definitely the one to push it in this instance

He’s young, like really young, so there is a little bit of an obsession with that macho image

Much less of it since he managed to win you over by letting it go but its still kinda there

Even with that, he may have read a couple of unflattering reviews (obviously from men) so he’s not got the best impression

It doesn’t take you long to convince him at all because the the way your eyes lit up is enough 

He loves the idea of you dressing up all cute for it, happily help you pick an outfit but when you bring up the idea of HIM matching you, he’s not so keen

“Come on! What's wrong with a bit of pink? Most designer men’s clothes have a little bit of it!” “Yeah but that's different!” “Sure (!)” 

You do manage to get his approval of one pink shirt but he’s a little bit sulky the whole way home and you give him the silent treatment for it

He respects your space but he ends up whining to his brother about it which feels like the biggest mistake when his mum overhears it; more of a blessing in disguise to be honest

“That girl puts up with so much of your nonsense and you can’t even put on a pink shirt for her Barbie thing without adding on even more nonsense? Ya Allah, forgive me I’ve raised a wannabe macho idiot for a son!”

His dad ends up overhearing as well and gets to a stern explanation

“In what world is pink girly? It’s a fucking colour, son. Any ‘man’ that associated a colour with being a girl is a west-washed little boy, you wear little necklaces and get an eyebrow slit but you draw the line at pink? I raised you better than that.”

His brother ends up chiming in too.

“Yeah man, it's a little scummy. It’s a pink shirt and two hours of your time, she used to wear that ugly yellow kit happily to matches AND she watches you play video games for way longer than that, and at least a movie might be more entertaining…”

At first he doesn’t really want to believe anything that they’ve said but he spends the evening pondering over it, only feeling more and more guilty and time passes by

“I’ll just watch it with my friends, it's fine!” but you’re obviously disappointed, he can see it written on your face and you don’t give him time to say anything as you walk away

He spends a good hour going back and forth with you about that, eventually just wrapping you up tight in his arms and apologising over and over again

“Pleeeeeeeeeeaaase take me! It’ll be fun, I swear! I’m a fun guy, am I not?” “You’ve changed your tune.”

“My parents didn’t raise a west-washed little boy, did they?” you don’t know what that means but you can’t really ask with your face pressed up against his neck.

“Should I grow out the eyebrow slit?” 

You find the strength to pull away from him with that suggestion, “YES!” 

To add to the apology, he lets you do his nails but refuses to let you push at his cuticles

Not that you need to do that anyway because his nails are beautifully shaped and you LOVED being able to paint them

He does indeed make it a fun experience when you go out for it and you get some really cute photos together

He spends a while getting photos of you in the booth on your own because you looked so damn adorable

During the film, he keeps pointing out the outfits he thinks would look good on you… so basically everything.

He’s intrigued by the giant fur coat but you immediately put a stop to that

“But look! it's so-” “Ugly! Looks like a freshly killed polar bear rug!”

By the end of the movie, you're both in tears and he gives you the biggest hug he can manage when you leave the theatre.

Its a genuine eye-opener for him

“I’m such a Ken, anjo!”

It's his awakening: he didn’t really like acting all hard and cool anyway and now he had a better understanding of just how dumb that mentality was.

Constantly talking about “boyfriend-girlfriend” things

You didn’t mind but you wished he would stop referring to it as that because you wanted him in all his glory and you didn’t need to be laughing in the middle of it.

♡ Hakim ♡

Its a cute little moment where you swap phones to show each other the trailers

He’s definitely more intrigued by Oppenheimer but he’s happy to watch barbie with you

Of course, so long as you watch Oppenheimer with him

Like Yassine, well beyond acting too cool for a movie and the colour pink

Your outfits match and are a mix of pink and black so you can really get into the spirit of the occasion

You match clothes quite often but it still makes him smile when you get excited and scan over the outfits

He honestly just liked doing stuff with you and vice versa

He’s not really bothered by what anyone thinks of him anymore

You watch Oppenheimer first and he can’t help but point out the things he told you about when he explained the movie to you

He has some of his own critiques and gripes too

He’s not impressed when he sees the American flag nor is he happy with the nudity but he’s okay with the film, overall.

Surprisingly enough, he was actually quite excited for barbie. 

You had explained every little detail from the trailers and the underlying themes and easter eggs and he supposed that at least 1 live adaptation was ready to be faithful

You’re the more energetic watcher while he’s just extremely focused

Like his eyes don’t leave the screen once, he looks to be in deep thought

Although there is some palpable shock when Barbie is called a fascist

You’re worried when he hasn’t said anything by the end of the film, fearing that he was gonna be one of those

“Men really suck, huh?” 

Big relief and you agree with a laugh

You spend ages talking about the little intricacies in the movies and the deeper messages, from when you get back into the car and well into the evening

He does post a little thing on his story: a blurry photo of the two of you

His brothers do tease him a little bit but they’d all watched it with their partners too and they were all in agreement: it was fantastic

They acted cool and stoic critics about it on the outside but the excitement on the inside was still evident

You pointed out one of the dresses from the movie that you loved, thinking he wasn’t paying attention but alas

He goes above and beyond to find a replica and eventually just settles on a tailor to make you a custom one

He has your measurements because he’s bought plenty of custom pieces for you already and he wouldn’t stand for anything less than perfection

If he was picky for himself, imagine how h would be for the love of his life

He gets a little slap-happy with it and ends up ordering like 4 custom outfits for you instead of one

He wondered about whether he should save them for special occasions but he concluded that he just couldn’t wait

I imagine you coming back from a long day at work and the outfits are laid out, in their garment bags 

You assume that he maybe got himself some new jackets or something because that's pretty common for him

When you unzip the bags and obviously you’re surprised

“Do you like them?” “I mean yeah but… what?”

He can’t wait for you to process anything and he’s hurrying you to try it all on

Obviously you look absolutely stunning and the way he’s looking at you has you all nervous: partly because he always just looked at you like you hung the moon and stars but also you were slightly concerned that he was seconds away from tearing it off you

“Oh god, you’re such a barbie…” he knows exactly how big of a compliment that is, your beloved allen

♡ Nayef ♡

He definitely isn’t at Yassine and Hakim’s point where image isn’t that big of a deal but he’s an absolute sweetheart

Genuinely so positive and joyful, in that sense there’s a unique maturity about him

You call him over to watch the trailer with you and he doesn’t really understand but matches your excitement when you point out the little details

I feel like he would be doing a lot of his own research too, those youtube videos of people analysing the trailer frame-by-frame become his new obsession

I imagine he’d be getting into a lot of arguments on his burner twitter account with the bitter men trying to tear it down

He doesn’t care at all, he’s going to see barbie with you the first chance he gets and he’s going to find a matching outfit somewhere

You assumed he’d just find a pink shirt but no, he spends ages sifting through the internet for a ken inspired outfit that he could replicate and a barbie outfit for you, pink would not suffice on its own, you were gonna go all out with some proper references

He’s definitely the most Allen-esque of the boys, that's for sure

Proudly posts a photo of the pair of you on his story and your matching outfits with the reference on the side

He does get a lot of praise online for it for being so “brave” but he sees it as the bare minimum and doesn’t quite understand why it's such a big deal

Somehow he’s more excited than you at the theatre

And he somehow knows even more finer details than you as well, it’s kind of jarring

He LOVES the music and knows all the lyrics because he’s been listening to the album non-stop

He is in tears from America Ferrara’s beautiful speech

Constantly looking over at you like you’re a champions league trophy

The switch from emotional billie eilish to the upbeat ice spice remix is a bit of a shock but he just goes with it because at the end of the day, he’s having the time of his life with the movie

“You know I would love you no matter what, right?”

“Like you ARE extraordinary and perfect in every way but even if in some bizarro universe where you weren’t, I bet I would still be obsessed with you.”

And you fully believe him because he would drop anything and everything for you, no doubts in your mind whatsoever

I feel like he’d be so cheesy when you leave the theatre, like he’s carrying you to the car bridal style 

He would also refer to the deed as “boyfriend-girlfriend stuff” for months

He would be dragged to Oppenheimer with his friends but he comes back home too you and he looks far from impressed

“Well it certainly wasn’t Barbie, I know that much!”

not my usual style but i just thought headcannons would be a better format since i got requests for all of them! i hope u enjoy, lovelies <3

#abde ezzalzouli #ez abde #footballer fic #football fluff #football fanfics #football fanfic #footballer x you #footballer x reader #footballer imagine #morocco #morocco nt #football imagines #football one shot #nayef aguerd #nayef x reader #nayef aguerd x reader #nayef aguerd imagine #footballer fanfiction #hakim ziyech #hakim ziyech x reader #hakim ziyech imagines #hakim ziyech imagine #hakim ziyech x you #hakim ziyech fluff #hakim ziyech fanfics #yassine bounou #yassine bono #yassine bounou x reader #yassine bounou fanfic #yassine bono x reader

[buff-muffin]

(I'm @beanghostprincess btw this is just my main acc) Please please, I need more ideas of yours for the headcanon of Sabo being deaf in one ear. Because the reblog you wrote was awesome and I desperately need more of it. Besides, I would love to make it a bit angstier and write about him struggling but I don't have any experience with this and I think your opinions would be great <3333

AAAAA IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT NJSDNIJSXN OK OK BUT IF YOU WANT ANGST YOU GOTTA KNOW HOW HALF DEAFNESS WORKS. I don’t mind explaining this shit so dw I’m giggling as I write this.

I will say as a like, heads up I was born deaf in one ear Sabo lost it later on so I’m not 100 right but shut up self projection whoop whoop. I can to what I want. You can at least be half right with this information.

So unlike regular deafness it’s important to note Sabo still has one perfectly working ear. An ear that works overtime.

You need two ears to be able to figure out where noises come from cause it will be slightly louder and softer in each ear ect (idk man). Sabo doesn’t have that hence why my thought of needing Koala to be a quick guide for him. Without her help, he’s just gotta look around till he figures out what made the noise. Obviously he doesn’t have to worry too much about sneak attacks n shit cause of Haki but like. A enemy transponder snail calling and Koala is gone? He’s spinning in a circle and moving his head around till the noise gets louder and he can figure out WHERE THE FUCK IT IS.

This plus a pinch of paranoia and left on his own? Delectable. Hearing noises like distant gunshots, explosions, footsteps but can’t sense anyone and can’t figure out where they are or even where to go to help? Horrifying. ESPECIALLY A YOUNGER SABO NEW TO THIS DISABILITY.

Also in social settings this can be super tiring as in loud spaces all that noise is going into one ear and can make hearing one person trying to talk to you directly nearly impossible and rather overwhelming, that’s why I find the Luffy being loud enough to hear in a crowd delightful. There’s no strain cause Luffy is just that loud. But like. Ya know, War zones are pretty loud. And when you’re reaching your stress and social battery limit and you suddenly can’t seem to hear your best friend over the sound of canonballs? I’d be pretty damn close to tears too Sabo.

Also for a short while kid Sabo was probably easily snuck up on at least till he adjusted cause he can’t tell what side people are coming from. And when you get jumpscared cause you didn’t hear someone multiple times in an hour? It makes you feel like ASS

OH!!! Another juicy thing you could use is stripping him of his sight (as in a blindfold or a dark room) and forcing him to rely on his poor hearing to navigate. He can’t hear what’s going on and when you’re stripped of your senses it’s very easy to panic since your body can’t readjust itself.

Dude there is SO MUCH ANGST TO PLAY WITH.

Anyways as a little fluff palette cleanser: The revs obviously learned to adjust to their chief of staff’s disability and Sabo’s personal transponder snail wiggles when it’s ringing so he can know it’s his snail ringing not someone else’s. Any snail given to Sabo must be trained for this.

Ok fr though I hopes this helps! Feel free to ask more about this or ask me more specific things when it comes to your writings if you’re unsure I am always happy to help!!

#when I heard angst I came fucken RUNNING #for who am I to deny some good fucken angst #revolutionary sabo #one piece #revolutionary army #if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes SHUSH I’m excited lmao #all in all having one ear doesn’t actually disable you that much as ya know he can still hear #but loud noises #locating noises #multiple noises at once #all a fucking pain to deal with #he’s just like me fr #self projection BABYYYYYYYYYYYY #rambles #half deaf sabo #ask #mix those factors with some rev drama and you got yourself one sa d bo

[djeterg19]

Is Playboyy the show and fandom going to continually piss me off by basically equating sex with only penetration? Because Zouey has 0 issues with other forms of sex. And every damn take I see about him equates anal with sex like no other forms exist. Baby boy has no issues with oral sex. Like damn I'm going to have to rewatch Warp Effect just as a palette cleanser that no you don't need penetration to be sexually satisfied.

#playboyy the series #playboyy

[multifairyus]

Spicy Brelwyn Playlist Update

Tl;dr—What should the Playlist name be?

Disclaimers:

1. Idk how to make a post Mature/Explicit so uuhhh if you’re too young for this then like…don’t engage. If you’re a minor, I’d appreciate if you took a back seat in this discussion please and thank you!

2. I personally headcannon the whole “Early College” thing in Legendborn as just normal college. Sexy situations aside I think aging up the characters it solves plot contrivances and makes things simpler where the more complicated option isn’t terribly interesting. As such, the relationship discussed between Briana and Selwyn is between two adults. Moreover, while Sel’s demonia makes an ~appearance~ and influence, this playlist is meant to be conceptualized without the looming threat of him descending into demonia and subsequent blurring of the lines between “safe, sane, and consensual”, as is in Demonia’s Descent. So like…in my headcannon/playlist AU, the power of love makes Sel better at edging his demon? Yeah. Yeah? Sure.

…look, I’m not here to make this shit actually make sense with the plot. That’s for the lovely theorists, fix-it/alt POV fic writers and resource gathering fandom members’ forte. I’m here to provide the official soundtrack of Legendborn smut for those of us on the front lines when there was under 100 fics total on AO3 and for the new fans that will come when Book 3 is released. I do have an aspiration to take undue credit for one of playlist songs ending up in the Legendborn TV show—oh y’all couldn’t tell me NOTHINGGG. If nothing else, I just want people to enjoy and create fan works to the playlists, cuz this is my own kind of fan work 😊

Image from OpenMeDesigns

Aight now let’s get INTO ITTTTT

So, Of Our Own Volition had Brelwyn making love for the first time. The earliest one could theorize it happening (with a non heteronormative definition of sex) could be Into Orbit…tho personally? It’s when The Line was clearly crossed in Virgo’s Scorpio’s Groove. Immediately followed by Sel having a damn religious ascension with Submerge: Until We Become the Sun. We get some afterglow and end on a flirty, playful, even experimental note with We Might Even Be Falling In Love (feat. Bryson Tiller for my Spotify peeps). It’s all very saccharine and tender and sweet and I love it…

This is not that playlist. They are grown and fucking fucking now. We are getting explicit. We are getting kinky. I allowed myself like one and a halfish toxic song in this playlist, since there’s more than enough excellent but SUPER TOXIC relationship songs for the TLC trio, regardless if you’re OT3 endgame or Brelwyn endgame. …A Toxic OT3 playlist will come in due time, with my softboi hours (Brickel? Nickee? Brick?) Brick Playlist along side it as a palette cleanser.

But now? I want input for what a grown and sexy playlist would be for these two!I like wording and terminology from the book—“Everything in Between” isn’t bad but feels too wordy? I’m open to phrases from fics too, especially from who have published excellent Brelwyn smut already—you know who you are (because I tagged you cuz y’all’s work deserves more hype @sweetestblacktea @justbrainrot @thoughtfulbearpanda @ficnoire2 )

I will crowdsource opinions on kinks our lovely couple is into, giving or receiving, in the comments. For scientific reasons, of course. I’m a chemist irl, and I know chemistry when I see it! 👩🏾‍🔬🥵👌🏾😩

Onto my specific thoughts I think may be helpful to answer my query!

~*~*~*~*~*~

I think I wanna have transition songs like the instrumental tracks in O3V and DD. But my searches for “sexy violin” are not giving what I need it to.

An idea I have is to instead have shifts be denoted by a lil “Demonia Dip” as I call it. Not full on Act V of DD bad but like, compared to the rest of the playlist you’d be like “oh yeah it’s that bastard again” we’re talking For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert and a reappearance of Tonight You are Mine by the Technicolors.

This is an R&B slowjams playlist for our protagonist and King Bree first and foremost… but Sel IS a white boy with THAT kinda playlist for his deepest, darkest desires…it’s only fair the cambion brain gets a few tracks, if only to signal “oh we are NASTY nasty now huh—“ Plus I let the white boy freak flag fly by starting off O3V with Sweater Weather. He can have a dip or two. As a treat.

Track Teasers (in no particular order)

F.U.C.K., Victoria Monet

Earned It, The Wknd (Often and Lost in the Fire are going to the top of Toxic playlist because I couldn’t add them in good faith with content or language I disapprove of in it 🥴 but the Wknd couldn’t NOT be in here)

Speechless, Buddy

Skin, Rihanna

A Muse, dvsn

Rope Burn, Janet Jackson

Teehee this is gonna be fun y’all 💖

Kthxbai

-Fairy

#brelwyn #breesel #selbree #bree x sel #BreexSel #sel x bree #selxbree #Legendborn #bloodmarked #otp playlist #story playlist #multifairyus #the legendborn cycle #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #fanart

[slyandthefamilybook]

I'm gonna evaluate sexy mechanics for OSHA/ANSI safety

this is absolutely shameful. that long, loose hair will get caught in anything that moves. no eye pro to speak of. no cover for arms or upper chest is a good way to get oil burns. same thing for the short shorts. and those shoes! no steel toes, no non-slip treads. 0/10

again with the long, flowing hair. put that shit in a damn bun. and the exposed upper chest is just begging for sparks. (also I can't imagine a single nut on the car that you would need to use that wrench on that you don't also need to remove the engine for). no eye pro. 0/10

that's a lot of product to put in hair that's gonna get ripped off on a brake lathe or drenched in sweat and grease. and again with the skimpy clothes. COVERED BODIES DON'T GET SHODDY. no eye pro. 0/10

finally someone covering their legs!! those jeans look like they're gonna slip off the minute you bend over, but it's a good start. can't see the face or feet so idk if they're wearing eye pro or boots, but I'm not holding my breath. 3/10

open shirt bad. at least their hair seems to be controlled. that navel piercing is definitely gonna attract arcs if you're doing any welding though and that's not a fun time. jeans are ripped. fly is slightly open (that's not a safety hazard, it's just funny). again with the massive wrench for engine-in work. no eye pro. 2/10

this is.. I don't even know what to say about this. they're wearing a jumpsuit, which is good, but why is it half off? are you gonna fuck in the shop? where it's 86 degrees and full of metal? long hair is professionally washed and dried, so good job wasting that money lol. and no. fucking. eye. protection. 1/10

YOU'RE USING AN ANGLE GRINDER. THAT DISC IS GONNA SHATTER BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT LOOKING AND IT'S GONNA FLY INTO YOUR FACE. WEAR. EYE. PROTECTION. -100,000,000/10

I'm not even gonna comment on this except that her boobs look laughably photoshopped. or her head, can't decide which

okay this one I didn't actually get by googling sexy mechanic, I just needed a palette cleanser. good shirt, tough gloves, fucking eye pro finally, hair in a bun. 10/10 good for you

#atlas entry #mechanic

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

Hewwooooo,

I saw people are being assholes so lets have fun! I have a request if you're up for it, if not just enjoy the thought.

Hear me out: Clone Head-canons

How would the boys (any boys, all the boys, whomever boys) react to their gal friend/crewmate and/or feminine S/O commenting on how stunning another girl is?

Like they're sitting at a bar, drop dead gorgeous woman walks in and shes just:

Maybe she's the kind of girl who's like "hot damn I'd tap that" or maybe she's the quiet pining I-dont-know-how-to-exist-around-pretty-women.

Here is a Pickle for payment:

Love you always,

🌙🔮

That is the cutest little cat named Pickle I've ever seen, I love them! 😍

Ooo-ho-ho, I gotta think about this one for a few days, I think!

I can tell you right away that I'd definitely throw in Crosshair because I need that practice for the Nexu series, but I can't keep writing it all the time because the first chapter has been shaping up to be real emotional and heavy (and not in a fun way)! I've needed so many breaks to cry and write something else for a while, it's not even funny. 😭

Oh man, all the possible scenarios, all the pairing choices and potential Clones trying to act as a wingman - with various degrees of success of course 😏 - that'll make for something fun to write when I need my next palette cleanser~ ✨

Oh this'll be so much fun, Hex 🩷

#the-hexfiles #request fic #thanks for sending me something to think about! 🩷 #I'm probably not answering that likely racist asshole anon they can go kick rocks!! #guessing they just wanted to pick on someone where they won't get in much trouble because it won't be seen by as many people :P

[just-antithings]

cant send links on anon but if any of the mods or followers need a good laugh and palette cleanser after all the anti bullshit they always see id recommend the take me to church parody "take me to snurch" by fairyeiry, damn near killed me

I love a good song parody

#mod erin #ask #mod shenanigans

[xmystophalesx]

Best New Heavy Metal Releases Week of August 5th, 2022

Going to try something a little different with the layout. Hopefully to make things easier to find if you are just looking for something in particular. Going to separate the albums by highlight albums, genre standouts and finally good albums that are worth a listen if you simply enjoy the album. Had a request to break it down by genre but thought that might get a little messy as a LOT of albums could conceivably fit into multiple genres. Either way, I hope this helps a bit. Let’s get to the highlights.

Exilium Noctis-Fragments of Apocalypse (Black/Death/Symphonic)**

You want something heavy? I don’t mean just your ordinary heavy; I mean, like HEAVY with all the letters capitalized. Like snap your neck heavy. Like destroying a mosh pit heavy. If that is what you want, this band has everything you need. This is an absolutely perfect mix of Death Metal and Black Metal. One genre never dominates the other and the result is that super heavy sound. This album seriously feels like a weight on your shoulders. The symphonic elements are interspersed perfectly and add an epic feel to the whole undertaking, which makes it feel even (you see a theme here?) heavier. May want to consult a physician before listening to this album.

H.E.A.T.-Force Majeure (Hard Rock/Heavy)**

If you enjoy all the genres Metal offers like me, you may need a little palette cleanser after the Exilium Noctis album. This is about as far in the other direction as you are likely to get. Insanely catchy Hard Rock that has that definite nod to the Glam Metal of the 80s but sounding very modern at the same time. This is just music that will put you in a good mood with sing along choruses, memorable riffs and shredding solos.

Starstrike-Legacy or Destiny (Heavy/Teaditional)**

This was one of the very last additions to the list this week. The logo and album cover just screams Traditional Metal and that is exactly what you get. The band is from Germany and you can hear every earmark of that German Heavy Metal sound throughout the album. If you were to put Accept, Gamma Ray, Paragon, Victory, Primal Fear, Helloween and Bonfire into a blender, this would be the result. Yet another debut album….how these bands are this good, this quick is amazing.

Preterist-Blood Moon Rising (Power)**

I have almost no info on this band. I know they are from the US and they have that European Power Metal sound down to a damn science. Think of a mixture of Stratovarius and Sonata Arctica and you will get close to their sound. Upbeat and catchy with those over the top sing along choruses and shredding guitar solos. Drums with plenty of double bass action and perfectly placed fills. If I had one very slight nitpick, it would be the production could be better. The bottom end doesn’t really come across for my liking. That could easily just be a me thing. Hopefully, I can find out more information about this band.

Perish-The Decline (Melodic Black)**

Time to get back to some feelings of anger, despair, and isolation. Those feelings are palpable on this album and they dive headfirst and wallow in them. The various guitar tones they used to convey those feelings really make this stand out and personally, I think it is a brilliant move. Oh, and did I mention this is a debut album? This is WAY too good to be a debut album. The songs are expertly crafted, and it even feels like they took care with the running order, as it feels like the songs build on each other.

Something else worthy of note. When I went to their Bandcamp page, they have a special edition box set of this album for sale. That isn’t really noteworthy but where the box is from certainly is. It is locally made at a factory next to the label office, which employs disabled people. If you purchase the box set, it helps these people out and if you want to throw a couple extra bucks on the Bandcamp order, the extra money goes directly to this cause. A Black Metal band with an album this furious, but still doing something to better their community? That deserves some praise!

That will do it for this week. I normally try to keep my vinyl purchases to only the pick of the week, but man, that is going to be difficult this week. If you have an opinion on the new layout, let me know. Until next week and, as always,

BANG THY HEAD!!!

All worthy of a listen if you like the genre

*= standout in that genre

**=best of the week regardless of genre

Best of the Best

Exilium Noctis-Fragments of Apocalypse (Black/Death/Symphonic)**

H.E.A.T.-Force Majeure (Hard Rock/Heavy)**

Liminal Shroud-Al Virtues Ablaze (Melodic Black/Atmospheric)**

Perish-The Decline (Melodic Black)**

Psycroptic-Divine Council (Technical Death)**

Starstrike-Legacy or Destiny (Heavy/Teaditional)**

Preterist-Blood Moon Rising (Power)**

Genre Standouts -

Bernatchez-Grief (Symphonic Black/Death)*

Amon Amarth-The Great Heathen Army (Melodic Death/Viking)*

Sun of Dead-Path of the Warrior (Black/Folk/Death)*

David Readman-Medusa (Hard Rock)*

Phrenesy-Fears Apocalypse (Thrash)*

Toxik-Dis Morta (Thrash)*

Ominum-Monument (Thrash/Death)*

Rotting Empire-Buried in the Past (Melodic Death)*

Early Moods-Early Moods (Traditional Doom)*

Circle Creek-The World is On Fire (Heavy/Hard Rock/Sludge)*

Creeping Cats-Losing Strength (Heavy/Traditional)*

Yelbegen-Kafir-I Azam (Black)*

Worth a listen if you enjoy the genre -

Soulfly-Totem (Thrash/Groove)

Draugur-Reflexio (Atmospheric Black)

Stormbound-December (Symphonic Heavy)

Reternity-Cosmic Dreams (Heavy)

Witchslayer-Witchslayer (Heavy/Traditional/Doom/Speed)

Ryker’s-Ours Was a Noble Cause (Hardcore)

Quantum Twilight-Hypersonic Demolition (Power)

Leaving Eden-As Above So Below (Hard Rock)

Annihilation Text-The Order (Death)

Evil In-Age of Immortal Darkness (Death/Thrash)

Triumvir Foul-Onslaught to Seraphim (Death)

Fleshrot-Unburied Corpse (Death)

Van Diemen-Sarcophilus Laniarius (Melodic Death)

Dagger Threat-Weltschmerz (Death/Melodic Death/Hardcore)

Perish takes my Pick of the Week with a debut that is WAY better than you would expect. 5 Solid bulldogs beating the heat out of 5!​

#black metal #metal #music #classic rock #folk #hard rock #hardcore music #rock #death metal #punk #melodic death metal #heavy metal #heavymusic #heavyrock #traditional metal #melodic black metal #youtube #extreme metal #melodic death #melodic metal

[anavatazes]

I need a palette cleanser

This is my soul dog, Vader, with my youngest in my mother-in-law's backyard. Vader meant the world to me, loved each and every one of my children, and he and my mother-in-law were thick as thieves. I didn't exist if Grandma was around... damn traitor, LOL. I miss him horribly, but when things get rough, like today, I look fondly on days like that one. We'd just arrived for a visit in Charleston, staying at Grandma and Popeye's, Grandma and Vader still very much alive and ready to walk the kids up to the pool. Vader would keep a close eye on the older kids but would stay next to the youngest. As you can see, she was still teeny tiny. Mara does this now, especially when the grandkids are around. Love my pack-oriented pups.

I try to save the weekends for family stuff and catch up on house stuff I couldn't get to during the week. Even when pickings are slim during the work year. I get the bulk of my money from tax season (January-May), and the majority of my clients are really sweet and kind people, that I love seeing each year. Then I get the ones that test my will to hold back my patience. I do not have any to begin with. None. You are not a child, you are not new to learning X, Y, and Z, and you are not an animal. FUCK off and leave me alone if you are going to try me. This one is a new client, and I am not going to take them back. They went behind my back to other agents to verify, that what I had shown them on the IRS' website, was true. Just because this year they made more money than they did last year and are not getting back as much as they think they should. Not going into any more details, as it is a breach of contract, but fuck... Dude, I went to school for 4 years, I do my care of duty and due diligence every year, and I stay in touch with multiple CPAs, CPEs, IRS agents, and so forth, to make sure I know what the fuck I am doing. I don't mess with huge dollar amounts, but it's still people's money, and I am not going to fuck around with it. Business insurance only gets you so far. And there is my own personal Jiminy Cricket to contend with. Yeah, no.

Anyway, be nice to your tax preparer, whatever their title may be. And if you can't, go do your taxes yourself. And have fun with that if you have a lot of complicated bullshit to deal with.

#Husky lab mix #soul dog #family #taxes #irs #beating my head against the fucking wall #Fuck it- going back to baking #life was easier #even if it is bad for my health

[glassmarcus]

Bayonetta 3: Devil May Cry's Shadow Remains Cast

*Played in November 2022, Written in December 2022. Holy Shit, I was pissed off when I wrote this.

The first Bayonetta was pretty damn good. Combat was slick, the attack list seemed endless, the music was hot, you could hold ZR to simultaneously break dance and shoot people, and each level had this cinematic flavor to it. Bayonetta was a game with personality and despite its roots to the Devil May Cry Franchise, it was truly one of a kind. It had problems with egregious Quick Time Events and drawn out mini games, but coming back to it after a decade of character action releases, I'm still impressed with the enemy design quality and how brutal yet earned the ranking system is. The core gameplay is tight and the flourishes of personality are icing on the cake. Bayonetta was a fun character to watch and control, and really put the stylish in the stylish action genre.

Bayonetta 2 is pretty damn good as well. It looks far better than Bayonetta 1 and runs smoother to boot. While the first game was plagued with bad mini games and quick time events, this game irons that stuff out and is mostly just combat, the thing we primarily come to these games for. Everything is streamlined in Bayonetta 2. There's nothing stopping you from having fun. You can use your Umbran Climax to solve any situation, you can avoid Sega arcade homages (for the most part), you aren’t penalized for using items really, you can still hold ZR to break dance, and the game won't kill or punish you for unfair reasons. But I feel like it loses a lot by taking this approach. Achieving Platinum ranks is less satisfying and it feels less cinematic as well due to how homogenized the experience is. There’s no changes in pace, just consistent gameplay that never really reaches the heights of it’s predecessor. Bayonetta 2 is smoother, but is also far less memorable. Because of this, I could never decide which one was better.

Bayonetta 3 was the perfect chance to find a balance between the first two games and become the best of them all. And it... doesn't even attempt to do this. It goes in an entirely different trajectory, creating undeniable peaks, but also brand new problems. In terms of raw gameplay I think this is the best game of the trilogy with a few reservations. It doesn't run as well as them due to its eyes being bigger than the Nintendo Switch’s stomach. The aesthetic and mechanical design of the enemies pales in comparison to the ones in previous games. But the options you are given in combat are substantially varied and those mini games and set pieces are all fine at worst and a wonderful palette cleansers at best. Aside from that Big the Cat ditch digging mini game. That was pretty bad.

Bayonetta 3 is not just a sequel to Bayonetta 2. It's somewhat of a spiritual sequel to Astral Chain in its combat philosophy. I’d say the combat is the perfect blend between the two. Astral Chain had simpler and slower combat than most titles developed by Platinum Games, but had the widest variance of moves you could pull off within a single fight. There are 15 combinations of move sets you can freely switch between, each with their own advantages and draw backs, and you are encouraged to play that way. You technically play as two characters, so the move sets aren't as cohesive as most action games, but the moves themselves never blend together and always have a functional clarity to them.

The first two Bayonettas are no strangers to having move set combinations. You are able to equip two weapons at a time, one Bayonetta can use for her hands and one for her feet. You can mix and match the weapons to create a custom arsenal which you can equip up to two of at a time. It’s less than the 15 in Astral Chain, but those 2 move sets have a ton of depth on their own. And while you do need to pause the game to select them, you do have dozens of potential combinations at your disposal. You can set up around 36 unique move sets in the first game and 56 in the second. That's an insane tool box to hand players and I have to respect it.

Unfortunately I feel the provided depth isn't that accessible and feels unnecessary a lot of the time. You can build a ton of stuff with it and even switch between move sets mid combo, but I never felt the need to do any of that in the 60 hours I spent playing the first one. Each weapon you get in Bayonetta has a long list of button inputs you use to pull off a different attack, but many of those attacks feel functionally the same and not worth learning once you understand a few effective strings. It’s far more important to learn the universal moves you buy throughout the adventure.

Bayonetta 3 has abandoned the mixing and matching and has adopted the two character approach. Only this time, your core abilities are on par with as any individual Bayonetta move set. You still get to control your second character with its own abilities which are more complex than the ones in Astral Chain. Minor note: the second character is a Kaiju. Bayonetta 3 meets a compromise. 6 combinations you can access without pausing, but each combination is deeper than either game and within the menu, you can equip 156 move sets. There's not quite as much sauce for Bayonetta herself, but there's more variety than ever before. Because the summons and weapons are so disjointed, each one has more mechanical diversity because they don't have to fit into the same frame work. They use the same inputs for the universal moves, but those inputs have way more variance in their output. They all have spin attacks, stingers, launchers, and triple jumps, but you never quite know the additional elements of these moves. Before I could divide weapons into 3 categories: arm weapons, feet weapons, or weapons that can go on either limb. Now I'd say there are no weapon types aside from the gun and not gun. Each weapon is it’s own thing and because of that, they are more interesting to use.

Variety is what Bayonetta 3 is all about. It is loaded with gameplay flavors. Shifting in controls, visual styles, and goals is just the way it rolls. I've seen a lot of people say this is a bad thing, making it harder to replay if you just want combat. While I can sympathize, it doesn't bother me all that much really. You can just skip past them like you could in Astral Chain and once you get 1 platinum rank on it, you never have to play it ever again. It’s a bit annoying on your first playthrough if you aren’t a fan. While the grading isn't as harsh as I’d like it to be, I do appreciate this replay system due to how much time it saves. And I get that some people just don't want the alternate gameplay styles at all, but I feel like a big part of Bayonetta is weird variety and this game has that in spades.

If I wanted a solid game where I just fight, I’d play Devil May Cry 5 because it's the best at being that. In a lot of ways Bayo 3 ends up feeling like a lesser DMC5 and gets lost in it’s enormous shadow, but having weird set pieces around every bend really sets it apart. Bayonetta 3 is the best at giving you a buffet in which every dish is decent and the main entrees are delectable. The breadth this game has to offer cannot be understated. There's even multiple characters to play as and they're....fine. Jeanne's levels are fine at least. Harmless I'd say because they take like 20 minutes of the total play time. Viola's are good once you get used to controlling her and come to terms with how Bayonetta is simply a better character to play. I started really enjoying the interplay between her armed and unarmed gameplay...and then the game kinda ends. I like Viola. I love her attitude. I love her cringe. And her theme song fucking shreds. My issue with the variety in Bayonetta 3 isn’t that there's too much and that none of it is good, but that some of it should be more fleshed out.

And then there's the level design which I think clenches why I prefer 3 from a design perspective. The past games felt cramped and cheap. The first game reuses a lot of map assets and a lot of the middle levels feel the same as the beginning ones. The levels themselves were often plagued with rough platforming and cramped space. The cramped space isn't an issue at all when trying to just play the game like a normal human being. But when they try to hide secrets, they run out of places to logically put them. This means you need to back track in order for the secrets to appear. It is a gross display of truly unhinged level craft. 2 has less of it, but it's still there. This most recent take on level design solves all of this. Worlds change drastically in aesthetic every 3 chapters so you never get tired of the stage flavor and the maps are more open and vertical. This gives opportunities to hide secrets in spots that require exploring new areas. The placement of these bonuses also force you to learn the movement mechanics granted by each weapon, making reaching them feel earned. And during replays (or just the first playthrough really, no one is forcing you to explore honestly), you can just B-line to the critical path like the other games. While the levels are wider, they aren’t much longer. The rewards for the secrets are also far better now. Instead of unlocking bonus features when finding Umbran Animals, you get actual new side levels which give their own rewards that end up being substantial.

So as far as gameplay goes, it clears the other two for me. It’s not quite a vertical improvement, but it feels kinda marketed towards me. Bayonetta 1 still has the most solid combat due to enemies attacking you from off screen the least. Bayonetta 2 takes it on an aesthetic and performance level easily. But 3 just tries so many things that I end up liking. I’m a fan of Astral Chain because it made it very easy to do a plethora of actions that required your brain to be in two separate places at once. Pulling off a tag team attack with your stand was satisfying in a way that doing a fat combo wasn't. And in Bayonetta 3, you can do both. There was no way I wouldn't be a huge fan of it. I ultimately had an absolute blast playing this….But good lord does it get dragged down in terms of character, narrative, and general vibes.

Much like how this game handles its tone, this review is about to take a drastic shift, Spoilers ahead, not that you should care about that.

This story is really bad. Nothing is explained clearly, no motivations are stated, people don't communicate like real humans, crucial details are presented as optional. It's nonsense. Bayonetta 3 refuses to linger on any details and denies the player any semblance of certainty. Everything in this narrative is fluid. Things just sort of happen and it doesn't matter how little sense it makes or stupid it feels, you just have to accept it. You can argue that the previous games were pretty bad too and only existed to drive the next set piece, but they still drove them. They got you to where you needed to go. I still understood the general plot points of those stories. Bayonetta 3 envelops the essence of 9 year old me, slamming my toys and stuffed animals together, imagining a story around it on the fly. Only it's less excusable here because this game has 4 writers and I am certain not a single one of them were in elementary school. Why are there no meaningful exchanges or reactions between characters? Why did the villain do anything he did? What the fuck is a fairy in this context? Who the hell is Dark Eve? Why did Bayonetta fail every single perception check she was tasked with? So many questions, most of them probably answered in the in-game data books I refuse to read through. This isn't Dark Souls and even Dark Souls is structured so that you can understand it without external reading. Because its plot is simple and makes sense. While this plot is neither of those things.

But I don't play Bayonetta for the story, I play Bayonetta for the personality. I play it to see cool characters do over the top things. I play it to see wacky dances in the middle of tense situations. I play it because I want to see a confident dominatrix make everyone around her look pathetic. The third entry kinda fumbles that last point. The character of Luka basically exist for Bayonetta to tease and belittle. Luka tries to act cool, and fails in the presence of a character who is actually cool, and then gets sent off to babysitter duty. That's what their dynamic was in past games. I'm not just upset they end up together at the end, and I’m not just upset the romance wasn't competently built up. I'm upset that their dynamic is that of equals, as Luka is presented as an extremely important figure here. Bayonetta... overtly respects Luka. It makes me sick. We don't need that shit. Bayonetta and Rodin are equals. Bayonetta and Jeanne are equals. If they are truly meant to be together throughout space and time, Luka should be the M to Bayonetta's S. But in 3, he's kinda just a cool confident guy who is a bit clumsy sometimes and also Faerie Jesus I guess. Why in the world does the story frame them as being soul mates across dimensions? He's just some dude. I can even get behind Viola being their love child. Them having sex eventually, in another universe, seems very plausible. But this "I don’t know what I would do without you" crap is a step too far.

Bayonetta is as representative of an independent woman as you can get. Yet she is assigned her corporate mandated male lover right at the end because someone needs to protect her. This run of the mill dorky guy getting the girl way out of his league shtick is something we've seen thousands of times and its deeply upsetting to see Bayonetta helplessly veer in that direction. It makes her so...ordinary. She's supposed to be one of a kind. Yet this game goes out of its way to make her relatively basic. In previous games she has sadistic fun with what she does. It's shown frequently in the cutscenes and the torture attacks. She feels in control at nearly all times. Here, it has dialed back those tendencies and makes torture attacks instant. She has a much weaker dominatrix aura now and that was a huge part in what made Bayonetta such a genius power fantasy. You get to play a hot woman exerting her twisted will on hideous beings. That's the dream! Bayonetta getting ousted to the Hetero-normative Malbolge is a fucking nightmare.

Mask off: If Luka was a girl I'd probably roll my eyes 50% less. I would still think it's bad, but at the very least it shows that queer people can have terribly developed romances as well and I think that's important for today's youth to understand.

It all feels a bit soulless at times. Exciting moments occur, but the context around them is meaningless. Things pop off and you want to indulge in the action movie schlock, but then it does whatever it can to undercut that moment. Everything in this game is punctuated by gritty deaths or intensely unfunny slapstick. When the game wants to be serious it chickens out and decides to be goofy. When the game wants to be fun, it dumps all over the party with the most downer shit possible. When tragedies are occurring, you're expected to cheer for over the top action. Bayonetta 3 is a playable Modern Action Movie. All Bayonetta Games are like this. But the Modern Action Movies of today are dissimilar to the Modern Action Movies of the 2000s.

It adopts the same bathos that has been plaguing the movie industry for years. It’s allergic to being sincere for too long despite the actual events being pretty dire. It undercuts it’s own plot constantly til the very end. Then presents itself as if it has any value. You DID have value Bayonetta 3. And then you grated at it, bit by bit, until all that was left were bitter shavings of quality sanded down by a coarse veneer of self apathy. Bayonetta 3 feels like it doesn't have pride in itself. It has self image issues. It wants to be DMC 5. It wants to be Astral Chain 2. It wants to be a billion dollar grossing Marvel movie. But it doesn't want to be Bayonetta. It almost gets away with these insecurities in terms of gameplay alone. But the narrative just whisper screams: “we don't actually like Bayonetta that much if we're gonna be real”. That's why you see every iteration of her die. That's she's as milquetoast as she's ever been. That's why they hand down the torch to Viola, a character they couldn't even bother making the dueteragonist. She had the potential to represent all the neurosis the game seems to have, yet she couldn’t even amount to that.

I didn't expect my feelings on the story to be so strong. I didn't really care for the first game's story, but I just kind of accepted it. It didn't have to be good to add to the game. It gave context and ample excuses for the cool stuff I wanted to see and gave the characters room to show who they were. Bayonetta 3 provided context which actively detracts from my enjoyment. I can still replay it and ignore it, but it’s tainted. I play Bayonetta 3 the same way I re-watch How I Met Your Mother, with a charitable lens that doesn't help when the bullshit piles up at the end of the story. The game is still good, but I don't like it as much because it pissed me off to this degree. Which is why I struggle to put this on the same pedigree as the other Bayonetta games. I will if pressed, but it gets by on a technicality just by being "mechanically interesting" to me. It feels like this was made into a Bayonetta game just so that the franchise could have another winner. It's a ringer. I beat it and got a strange feeling that I couldn't place at the time, but now I can. Bayo 3 hustled me. Bayonetta 3 dawn's the masquerade of a Bayonetta game and plays the role so well that we have no choice but to believe it. But you might be keen enough to spot the true difference between it and it's fore bearers. Because of all the story, character and major gameplay decisions this game makes, none of them disqualify it from being a true sequel other than this:

You can't hold ZR to break dance in this game.

#bayonetta #bayonetta 3

[uglypastels]

I feel this. You just finished an absolute piece of art. Seriously, so damn good. It's hard sometimes to move on to something new. I recently finished a book on Wattpad and AO3 and then just felt stuck. I got so attached to the characters and writing something new feels daunting. I have a ton of ideas in my notebook. I started writing one and it turned into something completely different, like sharp detour. 😆 I was like what just happened? This was not supposed to happen. This wasn't even one of my ideas. It's slow going. I've been sitting at my laptop just staring or getting on here and not actually writing. It doesn't help that I am a teacher who just headed back to work. The first few weeks always drain me. All I want to do is lay on the couch and zone out. I wish you luck and I can't wait to read what you come up with next. ❤️❤️❤️

I definitely know i need some time after Not Wholly Evil. It was probably a bit naive of me to think that bc i finished that so quickly i would be able to move on with the next project abd the enthousiasm for starting something new definitely did not help and now i promised people something that i will not be able to put out as quickly as i hoped for which makes me a bit sad, and just bad for wanting to write something entirely different instead - i wrote over 700 words tonight. Yay me!! -

I will just think of it this way, that what im writing now will hopefully be a palette cleanser and get me to write again, and hopefully give me some tine to work on the next fic while not leaving this blog dry of content 😅

#uglypastels answers #anon