#i put off 3 because i couldnt find a physical copy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shadeslayer · 7 months

Note

Would you be willing to talk about the inspiration for you sinti, shunti, kanunuk, & nunni designs? They're really cool!

absolutely !!! :D i usually have pretty explicit stuff that im referencing or am inspired by so im always happy to share <3

*ramble incoming*

[the dr pepper cans are how you know im a real southern usa babe. earlier today there was 5 empty cans in a row until i put them in the recycle bin]

i take a Lot out of the book "sun circles and human hands: the southeastern indians - art and industry" (2001 edition, not the 1957 one) which i have a physical copy of and i have sticky notes tabbing out out and also annotated highlighting every mention of the chickasaw and of sites where i know the chickasaw [or our ancestors, like the chicaza and other early mississippian/SE ntv cultures] so i can reference stuff i know would be from us, but i also take inspiration from all the designs in it because we were all a part of an interconnected cultural network of art

if you are from a tribe that would be from mississippian culture or the southeastern ceremonial complex/southeastern cult as it used to be called, or you know your people wouldve come from places within that like spiro or moundville, and you want to bring more native styling into your art this is THEEE book i would recommend. it is insanely useful. i cant vouch 100% for the text of it, and the second half is mostly kinda grainy b&w scanned photos of pottery and other items lmao, but the first half has lineart depictions OF designs found, with the attribution for the site they were found at. it is a Massive wealth of symbols and style and has been the best thing for wanting to study and emulate SE ndn art. for real i lent a copy to my grandma and then couldnt find where it was and i had to just order a new copy bc i use it so damn much

like i would post pages of it, and before i bought it i survived off the pinterest pics of scanned pages, but i cannot say enough just buy the book and look through it bc its just perfect its so useful. just posting a few pages doesnt do any justice to the wealth of style and art in it. ive tried to make myself some mock style/symbol guides from it, but even those fail to capture the variety of stuff in there and its why i still have it on hand for reference bc every time i get stumped theres so many ideas in there

but ok . book rec rant over (partly.)

i had done sinti homma, the red snake earlier, and i wanted to do a little motley of other simple transparent animals to go with it. so i did! ive got a few different animals that i played with doing, but a lot of them ended up veering too much off of the more hardline ntv style i wanted to do, and the others didnt fit the guideline i had made - i wanted them all to have a pointed tail that pointed to some corner of the frame, and curl around in the square a bit to have more of a sense of motion. i was thinking deer, turtle, spider... but none of those really fit that. so i flipped thru SC&HH for some ideas and came up with some :3

the bottom left one on the first pic there gave me a good idea of what to do with a rat tail, and on the bottom right of that same pic is the Fattest fucking fish and i lifted a lot of that design to use for my fish (and while we're here, the rattler tails on the top right of that pic were what i used for sinti hommas tail), and the bottom left on the second pic gave me the idea for the lizards legs/feet shape, and then i used the chickasaw vocab flashcards of animals to think of animal ideas and so i used the pinti from there to jump me off into doing a rat

theyre all named after the chickasaw words - sinti (snake), shunti (rat/rodent), kanunuk (lizard, specifically green striped lizard, which is why i made it green with stripes lol), nunni (fish) . i use the chickasaw dictionary webpage a lot these days though i should use my dictionary copies more bc they use the spelling style i dont prefer lol

i also want to do maybe a sort of pop art style big print of them, like repeated with different colors behind them? and/or them in a medicine wheel? but those are still wip so we shall see!

#anompolili #TY FOR ASKING ........... i feel so like. patronized. but i never get to talk abt this except into the void so i will seize the chance T_T #hatuk upi homma

9 notes · View notes

livingbutamireally · 1 year

Text

AY2022/2023 Y4S1 Module Reviews

I have been putting this off for awhile and have been writing this over the span of a few weeks truthfully maybe even a month. I have no idea what is it in this semester but i get tired just from doing absolutely nothing. We already knew but the transition from work back to school wasnt easy at least for me couldnt remember some of the coding stuff i used to have at my fingertips. But i guess there was enough mods for me to practice them over so it didnt take too long for me to get back on my feet. Feels so surreal that its finally my last modreg season actually....

Without further ado the

Overview

LAJ2201 Japanese 2

GEH1016 Understanding Consumption

BT4103 Business Analytics Capstone Project

BT4212 Search Engine Optimization and Analytics

BT4222 Mining Web Data for Business Insights

LAJ2201 Japanese 2

Lecturer

Kitai S., Amazaki O.

Textbooks

Minna no Nihongo Shokyu 1 Main textbook Second Edition (SGD42.00)

Minna no Nihongo Shokyu 1 Translation & Grammatical Notes in English Second Edition (SGD33.00)

Minna no Nihongo Shokyu 1 Hyoojun Mondaishuu Second Edition (SGD18.00)

Minna no Nihongo Shokyu 1 Kanji Eigoban Kanji (English Edition) Second Edition (SGD32.00)

Prices are how the school vendor charges, if you can source cheaper ones outside feel free to get those instead! You will need Hyoujun Mondaishuu in physical copy so please get that at the very least.

Weightage

Term Test 1 Performance i dont know if im allowed to share this info tbh here goes nothign

Ave highest full mark

Kanji & Vocabulary 8.3 10 10

Grammar 1 Particles 5.9 8 8

Grammar 2 True or False 4.4 6 6

Grammar 3 Finding errors 2.5 6 6

Reading 7.6 10 10

Listening 7.5 11 12

Term Test 2 Components *performance not revealed

Kanji + Katakana Grammar 1 (particle) Grammar 2 (true/false) Grammar 3 (conjugation) *new Grammar 4 (finding error) Reading Listening

Review

honestly LAJ has been very exciting for me personally if not one of the most fun moments ive had in nus. sure 1 sem is barely enough for you to ground yourself in the fundamentals of a language and of course interest far supersedes any kind of effort u put in because it is not the hours u put into it that count, but rather the passive picking up of things as u go along. sounds cheesy as hell that is probably true. anyways laj has been nothign short of enjoyable despite the really tight timeline plus very consistent schedule of always being on the grind for submissions. the workload really IS a lot and its very time consuming so i have to think hard if i really want to take this next sem. honestly as someone whos been into this hellhole for awhile, learning it formally is still really different from anything ive been doing on my own (watchign etc).... like i didnt know i still have so much i dont know??? ok tbf i came in with no grammar knowledge other than the basic の and と that any seasoned otaku would know so i struggled Hard.. but i think the experience of learning with new friends really ive made eased it in so much for me... i love it.. 1000/10 would recommend if ur already into the culture idt u have anything to lose?? idt i did well throughout tbh as in weekly quizes ive got a lot of 6/10s but on days where i studied 30 mins before the class i get 9/10 so do what u got to do ig. my term test perf wasnt very good either so im not getting my hopes up despite me taking this module with the intentions to bring my gpa up.

for the drill every week theres 1 lecture, 2 tutorials. the lecture goes through one chapter of the minna textbook which includes both a set of vocabulary and some grammar rules. for tut A u got to hand in the kanji homework and theres a vocab quiz too in class that u need to prep before hand. tut A also goes through renshuu C-1 and C-2 dialogues usually. And every sun there are prep quizes for both vocab and kanji due, this preps u for the in class quiz can retake as many times to perfect ur score. for tut B u got to hand in the hyoujun mondaishuu (physical) for the previous weeks lecture and they go through more speech patterns covered in renshuu C-3 usually. Renshuu C is where u find the dialogues that you will need again for the oral interview basically memory work. Oral interview pairs u with a classmate and u guys take turns to talk, what is tested is the same as renshuu C just under different context/setting. sometimes theres additional hw to submit for shadowing (recording urself repeating the dialogue right after a recorded dialogue), writing (short compo) and reading (comprehension). When its nearing term tests, u will get a listening quiz the week before tt iirc the stuff are said only ONCE so if u zone out then byebye. The term test itself also has a listening component which is basically the same drill again for god knows why. other than that we had this online exchange session pretty fun with other jp uni students zoom n chat kind of thing then a presentation on ur exchange in w13. Pretty fun time passes too fast in laj honestly it made my week go by too fast (spend too much time doing jp).

GEH1016 Understanding Consumption

Professor Dr. Hendrik M.

Weightage

Content

Introduction - Thinking about Consumption

Geographies of Consumption

Consumption in History

Economics and Consumption

Business and Consumption

Psychology and Consumption

Society and Consumption

Cultures of Consumption

Politics and Consumption

Ethics of Consumption

Environment and Consumption

Internet and Consumption and Conclusions

Conclusions

Review

Took this as a ue just for the sake of a ue.. i saw the reviews saying its essay based sparks flew jk i think its like any other ge tbh the lectures go through consumption as viewed from the various disciplines, assumptions et cetera et cetera its like a content kind of mod? i skipped most of the later half of the lectures because my schedule was really so bad i needed more time for my other mods priorities right and i didnt do any of the readings theres just too much and im not that much of a reader i know.. attention span lasts for at msot 5s and these readings are like 30 pages on average long some weeks theres 2 readings i simply cant wiht the reading.. other than that u kind of just need to know what they are covering in the lectures so i should be safe..crossing my fingers.... tutorial wise its kind of seminar style? the tutor is able to talk a lot out of nothing sometimes which amazes me...its very nothing module idh a better word low effort ish? just sometimes we need to present and stuff in our groups for the tutorials and the final presentation on our location of research and findings..class part alright... essay is some reflection paper on what has been taught i think it wsa week 4/5 ish then group project is any location of your choice to study on the different perspectives of consumption and a bit of research u come up with this academic paper (tutor is very niao about the citation style and stuff so please be careful) then the original written finals by some reason i dont rmb became a take home final essay which is better for me since more time (not really for me cause AFA LOL) anyways shitted out the paper a day before submissions and still alive so...

BT4103 Business Analytics Capstone Project

Professor Um S.Y., Hahn J.P.

Weightage

Individual Component Consultation Participation 25% Weekly logs 10% Group Component Presentations + Project deliverables 50% Client Satisfaction 15%

Note: The score for the teamwork component of your grade will be normalised based on your contribution to the team, which will be determined via a peer evaluation process and a client satisfaction survey at the mid/end of the semester

Schedule

Lectures for this mod only happened once during the start of the sem, on nusmods its a 3h long one but dw that only will occur just once. Following weeks will be a 30min consult that is set at the convenience of the group and the prof/TA can be held on another day as well really up to you. So at the start there was about 20 (?) projects on the portal they will brief you during that initial lecture and you can go in to look at the descriptions of the deliverables if it aligns with your groups interest. You bid for them by ranking the 20 projects and the assignment of groups to their projects is on fcfs basis (other than by rank) so please manage the time for bidding well if you want to get the project of your choice. Yeah and then you get to exchange contacts with your company etc to for an introduction of the expected work proper. After that you kind of really just liaise back and forth with your company on the submission, and every week the profs will check in with you on your progress, any doubts/challenges etc etc basically a slot to update on your work. There is a weekly log submission too due Fri 12pm where u outline your contributions in a doc to be submitted. Other than that for the presentations, there is an interim one nearing recess week and a final one in week 13. Interim was online/physical at your choice even though they did not make it very clear and finals is definitely physical with your project sponsors as well. Tip is to make sure u choose projects that you definitely have stuff to talk about.... if its too easy its a bit hard to make your project and value of work delivered look substantial enough....

BT4212 Search Engine Optimisation and Analytics

Professor Jin C.

Weightage

Class participation 5%

In-class quiz 5%

Homework assignments and group project 40%

Final exam 50%

Content

Keywords research, Google ranking algorithm updates, on-page/off-page SEO, randomized experiment design, A/B test, ranking algorithm, data mining and ml methods

Review

This actually is still a pretty interesting module even up till now but i especially rmb telling another friend how the content isnt dry like the other modules well till i was proven wrong with the experiment design flashbacks to ger1000 but overall i think its still pretty interesting the prof also is very engaging as in he talks in a way that captures your attention? or at the very least isnt very monotonous and he does put in the effort to come up with very relevant analogies amidst all the inevitably dry content Oh the reason why i was impressed was i actually finally understand?? the source material?? like snaps fingers enlightenment kind of thing???? hes actually really good at conveying the material without making it seem like the daunting insurmountable mountain... the first few weeks are fine though they ease u in wiht all the motivations behind efforts to improve seo ranking and the google ranking updates which are very interesting to learn about.. the ranking algo and ml parts are towards the end after week 7 and things start to get a bit haywire because its suddenly knee dip into matrices (after 3 years) and stuff solving eigenvectors (i thought we moved on from maths) </3 then towards the end the usual ml recap all over again this is good since most bt mods does a ml refresher over the models and stuff again so its a good recap or even does a good job introducing for those who are touchnig these for their first time.

The quizes kind of didnt happen until after week 7 iirc theres only 2 for our sem its a 5 mcq luminus quiz kind of thing and its all ctrl-f-able open book so try to get 5/5 for these. The homework assignments are also more congregated towards the second half of the sem so just manage your time well and expect these to take up some keyword some of your time. There are 4 of those in total, the first is a simple writeup pretty much no biggie then the remaining 3 are coding assignments but most of it u would have the pseudocode to do the same he explains it in lectures then u just kind of code it out the final one being more ml driven so if you’ve done ml before u wont struggle much anyway. Else can just google the source code its always p much the same plug and pull easy game. The finals though...........

(minute of silence)

its a written paper so u kind of sit down for 2h doing the problems for the final week (w13) the prof will go through finals questions from previous sems if u revised it then ur gtg u can expect about the same. But i didnt plan my time well plus confused by the requirements (choose all that apply for mcqs) and the answer fields being in a table of boxes from q1 to 20 do i really put e.g. a,b,c within one box for one question?? and the option d is a whole ‘all above’ really got me second guessing myself until idk anymore if i rmb correctly the format was 20 MCQs, 4 short answer questions (not really short but compared to the longer ones behind), 1 long ass question with many subparts that tests computation i.e. stats stuff and the matrices stuff

Anyways grades please be nice to me crying i lost too many marks because id dint have the time (for the first time if im being honest) Theres also one group project but no news from the prof until very late into the sem maybe week 8? 9? they had to finalise some sutff like if our blogs were indexed (most of it was not) so it became a project plan write up kind of thing how u plan to conduct the experiment to test out whether changing up some things affect the seo ranking instead of actually executing it out (profs original intention) might differ next sem tell me about it then

This is a sem 1 only mod and i think u should definitely take this up if the module title intrigues you because out of all the bt mods ive taken most barely even correspond to the module title T_T but this one surprisingly does a good job at it as for workload wise i think its pretty manageable just got to expect a little more than nothing in the later half of the sem

BT4222 Mining Web Data for Business Insights

Professor Wang Q.H.

Weightage

Assignment 1 (10%)

Quiz 1 (10%)

Assignment 2 (10%)

Project proposal submission and presentation (5%)

Assignment 3 (10%)

Quiz 2 (10%)

Project deliverables (40%)

Attendance class participation (5%)

Content

ML intro, web scraping, feature engineering, regularisation, NLP, classification methods, linear/logistic regression, bayesian learning/ svm, decision tree, ensemble learning and random forests, neural nets and deep learning, word embedding, convolutional neural net recurrent neural net and other DNN and explainability

Review

This is one of the more popular pes because it coincides for a few specs or sth im sure its also why i thought this should be one of the more useful ones granted it aligns for more than 1 spec.. Anyway what im saying is that most bza students would have taken this mod. And sure enough i think the prof this sem wang qh did a really good job covering this mod cant say the same for zhao yl for last sem.. u all really.. Anyways once again like many bt mods its a very ML focused one so u get to explore the various ML models if you like doing that. The prof also provide source codes so its very helpful when you need to refer in future and stuff. Nothing much to say ba its quite good theres class part so maybe half way through the lecture she will put up the attendance gforms then u fill it in on the spot usually during the break i.e. 1h 10m into the lecture (she sets alarm for this to make sure she doesnt go over v cute) Other than that theres 2 tests (quizzes) held on examplify usually max max 30 mcq but these mcq are tricky as hell sometimes with 5/6 options so really ganbare. For the assignments its coding based and also very structured with guidelines in the ipynb plus u got all the source code so no problem ba mb just 1/2 question will be q hard but other than that no biggie ive always been the last minute so maybe allocate about a week should be enough. Then theres also a project that you can work on throughout the sem, yes as you learn more ml models through the week the problem statement is really up to you and your group and how u want to achieve it also very open ended... (jsut like the BT4221 i took) except u already know theres this project at the start of the sem i.e. more time to work on it unlike bt4221....... just need to submit project proposal at the start of the sem then ur report findings, codes and stuff at the end with a presentation for proposal (cancelled for us due to no time) and a presentation in w13 (can be 1/2 person presenting for the group) there will be a lot fo groups presenting and then we have a gforms to rate their projects as part of the evaluation no finals for this (yay) bc she thinks the doing is more importatn (getting down to prep the data, actual model implementation basically the practical stuff compared to content content stuff (WHICH SHOULD BE THE WAY TO GOOO) very practically speaking all the theory is all google-able whether u can do it is something else entirely

#y4s1

0 notes

catboyshinsou · 3 years

Text

sick headcanons!

anon request: i love your writing smmm !! 🥺 can i request mha sick hcs where they take care of the reader when they don’t feel well 🥺 you choose who !! <3333

a/n: sorry it took so long <//3

pairings: Kaminari, Kirishima, Tokoyami and Monoma x sick,g/n!reader

warnings: none rlly, mention of throwing up in monoma, slight manga spoilers

can be seen platonically and romantically <3

kaminari:

Tbh i think he’d be quite Useless

Just rlly panicky n stuff bc what the fuck does one do with a sick person???

*walks into your dorm* “hey y-n wanna- WHAT THE FUCK YOU LOOK TERRIBLE”

*you in a blanket and not having enough energy to be offended* “i think i’m dying” “y/n WHAT”

He’d try his best regardless tho

He goes to sato and helps with doing something soothing and welcoming

On his way back to your dorm he passes aizawa and tells him you’re sick in THE worst way

“Oh yeah Aizawa-sensei, y/n is dying-” “THEY’RE WHAT”

Kami would definitely storm into the room with him and be just as worried

What if it was something really serious??? Like the plague?????

They find you just laying in bed, sniffling and groaning

Turns out it wasn’t the plague and just a bad flu

Flu with its whole jazz, you had a fever of 38C and you could barely move

Aizawa got you excused from classes for about a week and left again

Kami just stood there with his soup and went “oh thank god you're not dying”

like i said i think he'd be useless but try his best

he checks up on you every half hour either in person or via text during classes

he brings you stuff like blankets and foods even though you can't taste any of them or have any type of appetite

but! thanks to the fridge in your room you just had snacks for about… forever

he gave you extra attention too

sometimes he'd just sit on the ground and talk about his day and theories while you just laid under your blanket

you appreciated it though

except for aizawa, sato and tsuyu nobody came over and even they just came in every few hours

kami stayed for hours on end and even tried to convince aizawa to let him sleep over so he could “watch over you” incase you “stopped breathing”

it's not like you slept much when he was around anyway, nights were not ideal for a good rest on a sick day

it was endearing seeing him lay on a futon on the floor and poking you when he had to get up for class

he leaves notes and stuff to make sure you didn't get worried

did he do anything to make you feel better physically? not rlly

did he lift your spirits and make you feel less lonely? most definitely

kirishima:

hear me out

this boy is an angel when it comes to caring for people

when he got into the whole essentially self care stuff he also knows what's best for others

he was probably one of the first to notice you being ~off your game~

whether in class or just yknow vibing, he'd tap your shoulder and softly “you okay man?”

he calls everyone dude and man and bro no matter gender or anything he's just that into the manliness stuff

and yes he puts you in essentially self isolation more for yourself than for others

“your body needs to rest y/n! can't properly get better if everyone keeps bothering you!”

he calls you every night tho and he has aizawa bring you stuff when he checks up on you (he's allowed because he's the teacher ofc also as long you're a UA student like one of your legal guardians which is like a dad and dads can see their kids sick right?)

stuff ranges from just bowls of soup to compresses to the handmade ointment against a sore throat to like socks he knitted or something his parents sent in bc he told them you were sick

yes this boy tells his parents you're sick

i mean someone probably told yours but like twice the parents means twice the comfort!

alternatively if your parents are *cough* he'd tell his parents and put you on the phone with them because everyone needs some parental love from time to time (don't act tough about it, he's gonna make you cry and tell you how manly you are for doing so)

when you're back on your feet he probably still treats you like you're about to fall over for like two or three days more

he praises you for how well you did during your essential quarantine and when you say you didn't do anything he says some cheesy stuff about manliness

“bro i'm so proud of you for getting through it!” “i didn't do anything kiri-” “don't say that! it takes so much energy and manliness to keep in self isolation and get better, you did amazing”

tokoyami:

i love birds

also look at baby toko he's so cute

do birds get sick?

anyways

tokoyami is like.. helpful but tries to be undercover about it

he's not gonna ignore you or anything

he's the type to like silently nudge teachers into your area so they could see you were clearly sick and send you back to the dorms to rest

but he'd never actually ask you or tell anyone

it would ruin his whole ~vibe~

dark shadow tells him to tell someone and he rlly does especially if he sees you struggling through it in class but he's also just not great at talking with people so a nudge or “secret note” will have to do

it does work, you're in your dorm right before combat training because mic had sent you up and excused you

mic is sweet he said he'd send aizawa up when he finds him but that you should rest

he also tells you that you have some really attentive friends

you're at this point just letting the sickness take over you so you have no idea what he just said (you heard him but the words just didn't register in your brain)

you get into bed and the first thing you do is sleep through afternoon classes

tokoyami is only at 50% today and so is dark shadow

tokoyami swears he isn't worried, the teachers are capable of taking care of you in an appropriate manner so that you will recover in no time

dark shadow on the other hand is all gittery and doesn't wanna focus on anything but you

off topic but i just think dark shadow is tokoyamis way of showing emotions or well like… like his internal thoughts? not like his internal dialogue but ya know his feelings

so he can act all goth and dramatic but dark shadow is a good way of still giving some of his feelings an output

back to you

so training is over and so is your nap

but you wake up to pillows, stuffed animals, blankets and more pillows surrounding you

half of them weren't yours either

they laid around you like some kind of pillow fortress jusy surrounding you and making sure you didn't hit your head on the wall or fall from the bed

it kinda felt like a nest- oh

you tried getting up, your head almost immediately flinging uoh back into bed but you needed to see if a certain someone would come back in to build the nest

“dark shadow, be quiet we don't want them to w- oh you're up”

tokoyami came in with more stuffies and an extra blanket like it was a siberian winter and your rooms only source of warmth was an almost dying candle

“are those yours?” you asked half asleep, your head absolutely booming

you could barely keep your eyes open, that's how exhausted you were but you made an effort to smile at the bird and his shadow

“uh no, yaomomo-san insisted on making some blankets for you and hagakure-san, ashido-san and uraraka-san gave me all their stuffed animals when they heard i was paying you a visit-” “but the blue star blanket and teardrop pillow are from fumi!! he brought them from home because he can't sleep without them!!” “DARK SHADOW!”

you only chuckled before breaking out in a cough again

aizawa came in some time after and had a hard time finding you under all the blankets and stuffies and even offered to tell the class to stop bothering you

but you just laid there all cozy and told him to let them be

“it's how he shows affection, it's nice”

monoma:

oh so the 1A student got sick??? huh??? I thought 1A was invincible hUUUUUUH??? *manic laughter*

coughs

anyways

so basically the two hero courses are more “in tune” after the joint training

they often have dinners together and it isn't rare to see kendo come over with monoma and tetsu^4

she came over to hang with the girls and tetsu had training sessions with kiri

nobody rlly knew why monoma tagged along though

all he did was spout about how average everything is for the “superior hero course”

he did secretly like the classes growing together more though

he'd sit on the couch with you and occasionally laugh about something else other than his team beating yours during joint training

one day he came in and didn't see you at your usual spot

“ehhhh??? where's the only tolerable person in this course??”

used to his lowkey insults deku pointed you out at the dinner table, head resting on your hand and looking over some homework

“y/n what are you- oh my god you look horrible”

“thanks monoma, you're as nice as ever”

your face was drained of any colour, eyes heavy lidded and you could barely control the pen that scribbled over the paper

he tried grabbing your wrist but pulled back immediately

you were way too hot and the fact that he noticed by grabbing your wrist meant that it was more than just a high fever

“is 1A that incompetent that they couldnt even notice their classmate falling sick??? can you guys do anything but trouble???”

“shut up monoma, we tried getting them to bed but they insisted on finishing up first and there's nothing in the world that can get y/n away from what they've put their head to”, kaminari yelled from the living room space

how were you gonna get anything finished if your head was falling off your shoulders if you didn't hold it up

class 1A really was incompetent

“sato-san, give me a hand”

sato, who was currently cooking up dinner, just held out his hand and some type of chocolate bar which monoma grabbed and ate up

“this is incredibly sweet, i don't know how you do it”

it's become like half a routine for monoma to copy quirks for whatever reason

kiri and tetsu used it to determine which quirk was handier

uraraka’s quirk made cleaning up after a game night easier

it was training for all of them

monoma could train his copy and the others could measure how much they've grown from his reaction to it

anyways

sato’s quirk kicked in and he lifted you up over his shoulder

“monoma!” you could barely lift your voice, faintly kicking

before you knew it he placed you on your bed in your dorm and sighed

“you're lighter than i thought”

“i think i'm gonna throw up”

so you hurled into your garbage can

monoma held back whatever there was to hold back

(he was very much disgusted but even he knew that this wasn't the time to let any type of negative emotion show)

“jolly gees y/n, what did you have for breakfast?!”

you laid in bed as he passed you a water bottle

“you need to drink something, you lost a lot of water”

“awe caring for me, monoma?”

“this is for general health, y/n. i would never as much as care for anyone, especially not a brat from 1A. who even knew that any of you could fall sick huh?! weren't you supposed to be superior to the rest of us??!”

he said all of that while putting a blanket on you and opening the window for fresh air

“god you 1A fools really are incompetent!”

he went into your bathroom and soaked a small towel in water

“i'm only doing this so you don't infect anyone. god you could cause an epidemic at UA and in the end 1b would fall victim to you as well! this is all just for the general well-being!”

you didn't even hear what he was saying anymore

with a half empty bottle next to your head, you slept peacefully

monoma let out a deep breath when he saw you

“i'd never care for anyone in 1A, i'm better than that…”

he whispered those words to himself

(he did care)

331 notes · View notes

blueberrywonho · 4 years

Note

Hi! I absolutely love your blog! I’m a new Monbebe and your blog is one of the first ones I came across. If it isn’t too much to ask, could you maybe do a Shownu scenario where we’re both stuck in quarantine together? Hehe this is also my first time requesting !! Thank you! - anon mar

Notes from the author:

“I’m so glad you enjoy it! Welcome to Monbebeland. We love food, Monsta X, and we hate cucumbers. I’m glad I can help you with your first request (what an honor 😱)!”

•••••••••••••

You curled up on the sofa underneath your favorite flamingo blanket. Outside the sun was out, but so was the wind and the draft could be felt from the open window in your living room.

“Should I shut that?” Shownu appeared from down the hall while taking in your bundled up appearance.

“No leave it open. The Heathgroves just finished mowing their lawn and I like the smell.”

He smirked at your comment while stopping next to you on his way to the kitchen.

“Cute,” he kissed your forehead and released a big sigh. “I was upstairs for thirty minutes and still couldnt find our copy of Titanic. We’ll have to watch something else tonight, I’m sorry.”

“No it’s alright. Thank you for looking. I know it’s a pain to look through all those DVD’s but I prefer wat-”

“You prefer watching them with a physical copy because you like the way it makes you feel,” he smirked again with a honey look in his eyes. “I know baby.”

You smiled up at him and grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt, theatrically dragging his upper half down so he’s eye level with you. You kiss his lips softly.

“I really do appreciate you looking. We’ll watch something else.”

He takes your hand in his and kisses it before heading into the kitchen to start dinner. So far you had both stayed home for roughly three weeks now and had gotten into a routine of passing the chore of cooking off on each other every other day. Tonight was Shownu’s turn to cook and his choice of marinated steak with your favorite sides was on the menu. You rested your head against the cushion and scrolled through your Instagram for a few minutes before the smell of the meat drifted into the living room.

“You know I think Joo might have taken our copy of the movie when he came over last month. Remember? He asked to borrow our Friends discs and I ended up letting him look through everything.”

“What a sneak. You’re never getting those back you know.”

You chuckle to yourself and make your way into the kitchen. The smell is too strong and heavenly to resist sitting in the living room. Shownu stands at the kitchen sink rinsing off the rice for your meal. You position yourself at your small table for just the two of you and snack on the pickled radishes he left in a bowl.

“If you eat those now you’ll complain we don’t have any during dinner,” he eyes you with a raised eyebrow while scolding you.

“I will leave plenty, I promise”.

You continue to watch him cook while your mind wanders. The thoughts that had been circling in your head the night before make their way back, and you decide it’s time to voice them aloud.

“Shownu?”

He grunts his response while turning the meat, and you sigh.

“I don’t know why these thoughts keep popping up into my head randomly. I’m just thinking about what I said earlier, with Jooheon and the movies and everything. When things were normal we’d probably call and lecture him about taking our stuff and eventually he’d saunter back over to return it. We’d all sit around and joke while he pouts and then we’d all laugh.....” Your voice suddenly fails, and your throat feels thick. A rush of fear and a tingle of panic comes over you. You put your hands to your mouth and the tears in your eyes begin to well up. Shownu’s eyes grow wide with concern and he turns around to shut off the stove and set the pan to the side before walking over and pulling a chair up to sit in front of you.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Look at me. What’s the matter?” He brushes a strand of hair out of your eyes and pulls your hands from your mouth. Your lips tremble and your hands begin to shake. He immediately folds them into his own and they become lost in their size and strength.

“This is not...normal anymore. We’ve stayed inside for weeks and every day up until now has felt like some kind of mini vacation but it’s not. That’s sick, right? To think that? To think this is okay when everything out there is going wrong. I mean, we can’t even have our friends come over to drop a movie off. We can’t go shopping without struggling to get what we need as quickly as possible or stop by Needman’s Bakery for croissants and just talk to Betty like we used to. I-” The lump in your throat thickens and you finally lose the battle. Your sobs shake your very core and every tear that spills is a fear and doubt you’ve kept pent up over the last few weeks.

Shownu frowns and gets up from his chair. His hand squeezes yours and he pulls gently, leading you to stand as well. You both walk, hand in hand, to the counter next to your fridge. He turns and grabs your waist delicately and picks your body up with no effort, placing you down on the counter before him. His gaze is filled with concern and sadness at your tears. Placing his hands on either side of your face he presses his lips softly against your temple, before resting his forehead there as well.

“Do you know what I think about when I’m afraid?” He asks you, his voice hushed. You shake your head. “I think about this-”

He reaches over to the fridge sitting beside you both. He removes 3 photos and places them in your lap. Gazing down you see the first photo of you and your sister with various friends at a wine tasting event. The second photo shows Shownu and the boys from their latest tour where they had received their highest stadium capacity yet. The third and final photo showed the two of you, kissing in the very kitchen you were standing in on the day you moved into the house. You smiled as a tear ran down your nose, and Shownu placed his fingers under your chin to lift your gaze up to his.

“I don’t see these as memories, the old days, or the past. I see these as a reminder of what we have to look forward to again when this gets better. These photos are not the end for you, or for me. I promise you, my angel. Right now things will be different. Different but not permanent. Okay?” He cocked his head to the side and studied your face carefully while running his thumb against your cheek. You chuckled.

“I’m just being silly.”

“No, no you’re not. These are valid fears, baby. It’s okay to be afraid. I worry too. Will I be able to tour again? How am I supposed to meet my fans safely? Can I even meet them? When can I see my parents again? I think these thoughts too, but I also think about how good it’s going to feel when I have the answers to those questions.”

Your mind clears and your heart resumes it’s normal pace. You wrap your arms around him suddenly and squeeze tightly. You nestle your head into the crook of his neck and breath a sigh of relief.

“Thank you,” you whisper. He kisses your cheek and pulls back, a smile on his face.

“I’ll finish making dinner. Go and eat your radishes.”

••••••••••••••

#monsta x #monsta x shownu #shownu monsta x #shownu #shownu x reader #shownu x you #shownu scenario #monsta x soft hours #monsta x scenarios #kpop #kpop reactions #monbebe #kpop rp #kpop aesthetic #monbebes #kpop idol #kpop blog #blog

44 notes · View notes

harbinger--of--dawn · 4 years

Text

jotaro bg ideas idfk i just copy pasted this from discord after a 3 am brainrot session read it [mind the tw tags]

jotaro thought time because i cant sleep no matter how hard im trying

clearly jotaro went through some type of major trauma during high school between when we see him in flashback panels and where he is at the start of part three. you just dont have that sort of emotional change w/o trauma

because i have severe brainrot i think perhaps it has something to do with the ocean

ocean life is his spin and has been since he was tiny tiny ofc, but maybe seeing something he holds so dear take from him caused him to become so guarded and afraid-- what im saying is, perhaps he understood what the ocean can take on paper but experienced it personally and couldnt handle it for a very long time

im thinking ! he was likely hanging out and exploring and tried to help a small child who was caught in an undertow and just. couldnt help them

just. a small and physically weak 15 year old jotaro desperately performing cpr on this poor 7 year old. hes barely conscious himself from over exertion and hes swallowed his fair share of seawater but he cant get this kid breathing. theyre in a somewhat secluded area and no one can see these two kids and every time jotaro tries to yell for help more saltwater springs up from his lungs.

someone finds them and jotaro thinks. thank god this poor kid can be helped and there's yelling and sirens and touching and pulling and its terrifyingly overwhelming. it goes into sensory overload almost instantly and after he vomits seawater on a lifeguard he goes into a full on shutdown. holy isnt at the beach-- sadao brought him in his yearly attempt to be a Good Father and hadnt kept a close enough eye. theres no one familiar and this freshman is losing his mind over this kid he fished out and he goes into a shutdown. they cant get him to talk.

jotaros not responding and someone says shock and someone else says "no hes r/tarded cant you see it" and hes too tired to care. his limbs feel like lead and they cart him off to the hospital because his lungs are full of water and hes not looking at them and despite the ableist bystander, this lifeguard is very scared he's in shock. jotaro watches the kid the longest he can but theyre not bringing him to an ambulance. theyre not doing cpr. theyre not doing anything. jotaro coughs up brine and lets himself shutdown entirely

he ends up with a severe case of pneumonia. they had to have him on a ventilator for the water and hes stuck in the hospital for days due to a mix of his shutdown and actual shock. they never tell him what happened to the kid. he doesnt ask. he knows.

holy is at the hospital before sadao is. she got the call first. sadao's phone went to voicemail.

they tell holy they can take him home when he wakes up if the foundation is there. shes worried and begs these doctors to keep him in the hospital a little longer. just a couple more days. they relent. jotaro comes out of shock only to very quickly develop sepsis. its nasty. hes really badly off for a while and. sadao just doesnt show up. he was ‘called for a show’. nothing. just. gone.

jotaro misses a lot of school. hes really badly off. they try and get him into therapy but hes unresponsive. hes stopped caring in class. hes barely there for a very long time and it tears holy up to bits. suzie q n joseph come over to help because its too much. holy gets therapy too. she responds though. jotaro just sits through his sessions, staring at the kids toys. the doctor tells him he can play with them. he tells her that the little boy should be playing instead of him.

hes gone after that. he pieces himself back together but its wrong. hes angry. hes afraid. hes paranoid and certain everything he loves and cares about is going to turn on him. he sees the endless love he put into the sea and the lifeless body it gave back to him and is terrified of putting anything into anything else anymore. terrified of loving, caring. hes afraid of the consequences hes made up for himself.

he lashes out at holy. tells her shes a b/tch and that he hates her. hes keeping her safe. the farther she is the safer. hes terrified of loving loving loving and losing. hes certain the best thing is to never get attached because you will lose it and it will only hurt just that much more.

he doesnt learn. he sees kakyoin in the water tower and the water up to his ankles and feels the salt in his lungs and knows hes drowning again.

#jjba #sdc #jotaro kujo #// drowning #// ableism #// r slur #// child death #tw drowning #tw ableism #tw r slur #tw child death #theres probably more to tag jic but i have no idea whats happening at any time ever so #ask to tag #mine #// b word #jic !

13 notes · View notes

kyokosdiary · 5 years

Text

Miu Kyoko

Hi there, its @sabaku-no-livna‘s BNHA account here !

I’m gonna introduce you my BNHA main OC, Miu Kyoko ! Template from Uunearthly on DA (https://www.deviantart.com/uunearthly/gallery/)

Name: Miu Kyoko

Nicknames: None her first name is short enough

Hero name : Black Mirror

Age: 15 yo

Gender: Female

Height: 154 cm

Weight: 39 kg

Birthdate: 20 of August

Nationality: Japanese and Kenyan

Blood Type: O+

Occupation: Student

School: Shiketsu high

Year and Class: 2-A

Physical Appearance:

Miu Kyoko is tiny but quiet curvy ! She has a pronounced waist line and back arch and a big breast. She has thin bones and muscles, but those muscles are strong enough for the fight ! She has the skin ebony color and the white of the eye black. Her eye lashes are almost white, like the top of her hair. She’s got long straight blue hair, in a gradient from very light blue to a more intense one. A side of her head got shaved when she was able to go beyond her mother’s power on her, in a sign of rebellion and individuality ! Her eyes are yellow and seem to shine in the dark just like her hair.

She has on her body some white symbols that appear when she uses her quirk. The more she gets powerful, strategic

and get some moral values, the more these tatoos appear like a reward. Each one of them as a signification.

Those on the face are symbol of perspicacity, the ones of the suns she has on her shoulder and breast are marks of hope, tenderness and bravery. Those on her belly shows she was able to cut the bonds with her mother not to reproduce the same mistakes and means she will be able to be a loving mother herself when she would be older. The one around her arm is a symbol of strength ! The one around her tight of balance. The ones on her calf of determination.

The firsts ones that appeared were on her face, then on her breast, her shoulder, her tight, her calf and finally her belly when she got rid of her mother-mother problems.

Her hero costume is inspired by traditional wax and quiet show off. It was chosen by her mother again. At the beginning she did not feel comfortable with such an open costume but when she got better with herself she assumed it perfectly!

In real life she wears wax and ties her hair in braids. She likes to wear more cloths and isn’t showing off.

Personality:

Miu Kyoko is a very shy and discrete person. She can be very friendly, caring and sweet when you get to know her, but she is too shy to go herself meeting people.

She’s been used being in her mother’s shadow, having no choice and decision to make so is kind of lost in her own personality. She sometimes doesn't really know what SHE likes and what her mother liked for her. She will progressively get to understand who she is and what she likes.

Miu likes dancing, music, singing, playing piano, animals and cooking. Piano, dance and sining were things imposed by her mother, but she got the best of it, and finally could find her way in it.

Miu has a poor self esteem because of how violent her mother was to her and how perfectionist she is. She thinks she isn’t suited to be a hero and would rather have a more traditional life and job than being a hero. She believes she is useless and her quirk would never help people but put them in danger because of her weakness.

However, her mother’s expectations were so big she is always fighting against her own will and doing her best to always be n1 at school and in everything she does. She tries to learn from her mistakes, make the best of her advantages and compensate her weakness. She is still determined becoming the n°14 hero, like her mother was but will progressively abandon this dream that isn’t her just to wish to become a good and wise hero, and not an object of her mother’s projection.

Quirk Information:

Quirk: Reverse

Type: Activation

Description: She reverses the opponent’s quirk against themselves. She gets the protections of their quirk if the quirk provide some instead of the opponents. On mutant quirks she just erases them and trying to go over her quirk is extremely painful. If she is put next to mirror or something that allows reflexion such as glass or ice, the strength of her counter attack will increase ! She has to have an eye contact to use her quirk. She doesn't produce anything, she only uses opponents quirks.

Strengths:

+ With opponents with emitter quirks her quirk is very efficient and difficult to go through.

Her quirk is quiet disturbing and allows no counter attack.

Is avoiding close combat but allows her to get closer easily and attack thanks to her agility and speed.

Good to end a battle.

Weaknesses:

Cannot start herself a combat with this quirk.

Can only defend people and herself with her physical abilities.

Her quirk cannot defend her against people with physical strength and so in close combat her only advantage is her speed, agility and flexibility developed with dance. In other terms she has almost no chance to win against someone using only their physical strength.

Her quirk isn’t flashy and impressive for the public. So not very interesting for the medias.

Combat with people with emitters quirk can last forever with her quirk and she will get quickly tired and loose power over them.

Quirk Statistics:

- Power: 2 /5

- Speed: 3 /5

- Technique: 1.5 /5

- Intelligence: 3 /5

- Cooperativeness: 3/5

Background and History

Relationships

Family :

Mother: Aissata Kyoko

Aissata used to be called Coal Queen, in her country (Kenya) she was the n°1 hero, and she was n°14 worldwide until she got severely injured in a fight in Japan with a villain. Miu was 8 at the time. She married the Japanese business man Ari Kyoko, it wasn’t a love marriage but an arranged one with the two families. Aissata was very young when she got engaged and was raised accepting she would be married to a man she doesn’t love. She doesn’t have real affection for Ari and shows no consideration for him. She is a very proud and egocentric woman. There was no space for a child unless her daughter was just a duplicate of herself. When she had to retire from her hero career she became even more strict and cold to her daughter and husband. She felt her incapacity as an humiliation and found a way to fix it : her daughter will replace her. She had always been a strict mother, but there she became a tyrant, imposing her activities, a school, a training … She wanted her daughter to be as good as she was and to look just like her. She was putting a lot of pressure on her daughter, and when she wasn’t good enough she was using very violent words toward her. Their relationship was toxic as Miu progressively lost all individuality. She pushed her so much she skip grades and finally entered Shakiest high (a school chosen by HER) at the age of 14. She controlled everything about her daughter’s life : her weight, her dressing, the choice of her friends, her love life … She wanted full control on everything and to do so she is calling her 4 times a day, and sometimes even going physically to Shiketsu hight to assist at the trainings. She is a very tall woman and was frustrated her daughter was so short. Also she never hided her disappointment with her daughter’s quirk, not powerful and flashy enough.

Father: Ari Kyoko

Ari Kyoko is from a big family of business men in weapon industry. He did not get the choice of his wife, but immediately fell in love with the stunning African beauty Aissata. He did everything to please his wife, he would have given her the world, he treated her like a queen but it was never enough for the capricious Coal Queen. His quirk is to copy a quirk he already faced. He can use a quirk he learnt only once. When Miu was born he was the most happy man on hearth, unlike his wife who suffered from baby blues and couldn’t even hold the baby in her arms. He was a loving and caring father, full of humor and joy. He got truly affected by his wife’s accident, and the fact of her being more violent towards him and his daughter probably caused his decay. As months passed his migraine became stronger and stronger, he was loosing weight and strength progressively until he couldn’t even walk. His breath was harder and harder and his heart weaker and weaker. Nobody knew exactly what was killing him, but his agony last 2 years. These 2 years have been a torture for Miu. He was her only loving parent, her sun, she admired him for his intelligence, tolerance and capacity of judgment. She was relying on him to protect her from Aissata. But when he died he left her alone with her mother. He never wanted to give up the fight, because he loved his daughter and wife so much. Until the end he kept hoping for the best and his last words were written by the doctors and directed to his daughter « Dear Miu, I want you to remember me as your loving father, not as the living corps I’ve become. Please remember my smile, my voice, my laughter but not my tears and decay. And also one last thing. Never forget who you are Miu. You may look like your mother but you are nothing like her. You are my beloved daughter. I love you more than anything in this world. My sun. Daddy. »

Friends :

She gets along very well with those of other schools. She met some of UA high outside of exams in fact, during a villain attack. She got to interact with Bakugo, Kirishima, Midoriya, Ochako, Todoroki and Iida.

She appreciates Ochako Uraraka a lot, she highly admires Izuku Midoriya for his wisdom, optimism and determination. She was able to meet him several times and they get along together very well.

She also have a strong admiration for Shoto Todoroki, for his intelligence, self control and how he was able to get off Endeavor’s clutches. She saw him first on TV during the sport festival, then during the attack where she met the other of class 1-A. They got along well, surprisingly he showed interest for her because of her personal issues with her mother. He’s like a mentor for her because he showed esteemed and helped her realizing how much she was her mother’s puppet and that she could become herself. He used what Midoriya taught him to help her out. She’s got a crush on him.

Rivals :

She doesn’t really have rivals. She got to fight with Katsuki Bakugo and was a disturbing opponent to him. Also because she was trying to make him chill insisting on « you should try Yoga. ». However she finds his anger quiet cute and funny and this makes him even more upset and willing to destroy her.

Her only real challenge is her mother, but Todoroki by acting as a mentor keeps her motivated to always try to challenge him even if she doesn’t really want to win. She only wants to make him proud of her.

Love interest : Shõto Todoroki

Hobbies: Playing piano, dancing, singing, composing, cooking, horse riding, chess (all hobbies were chosen by her mother)

Fears: Thunder, Mineta, disappointing the others, abandon, her mother

Habits: Miu is often making braids on her hair, she cooks cookies and pies for people she loves and she is always training her flexibility and moves with dance and music. She also does yoga in the morning.

Likes: Colors, sun, animals, humanity.

Dislikes: Rain, cold, loneliness and informatics.

Goal: First her goal was to be good enough for her mother to love her. Then her goal became being good for herself and being the best and the more fair hero as possible and making the persons she loves proud of her.

Hair style before and after getting rid of her mother’s oppression

#bnha #bnha oc #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia oc #my hero academia #my hero academia oc #kyoko #oc #original character #reference sheet #fanart #cellshading

3 notes · View notes

softspoken23-blog · 7 years

Text

Softspoken: The first 20 years of my life.

Year 1: Its the one year anniversary of a young lion Walking on his feet after pooping for months and a bunch of crying Momma showering me with love cause she see the potential But little do she know that wasn’t even in my mental

Year 2: very dependent has no interest at all as being independent. A mommas boy who just wanna play with his toys live his life as a youth happiness and joy

Year 3: Year 3 it isn’t munch to explain, im just now learning how to write and spell my name.

Year 4: In prekay learning the new things of this world. Could you believe at this age i had feelings for a girl. Her name was malayshia and she was the first girl i shared my oreos with cause i wanted a kiss but i was way over my head but i was young so its ok that it was bliss

Year 5: At the age of 5 i was caught by surprised moving to a different neighborhood opened my eyes Rent was too high with a lack of space Momma wanted better but little do she know she moved us to a questionable place

Year 6: Kinegarden was crazy but i had a lot of fun but on my own time. Didnt really enjoy the company of the others. Video games was the life. Copying movie characters was a hobby I was many characters i felt like no one cant stop me

Year 7: Started first grade but wasnt really into education. All i wanted to do was go home and be on my playstation. In my own world i was my own nation. Was very quiet and softspoken but it wasnt a positive to the crowd it was the complete opposite. Trying to put me in special education but my mom wouldn’t stop fighting Its nothing wrong with my baby he just need to work on his handwriting. They wasnt trying to hear it though so they held me back so i wouldn’t move forward. So i had some drive and motivation to push myself forward.

Year 8: Year 8 was crazy thats when the roller coaster begin it was a long ride i was wondering when it was going to end. Repeating 1st grade was hurtful but i stood strong through the pain. But the highlight of the year is when on december 23rd the day i was born i was celebrating with my love ones in chuckee cheese smiles and all get ready for a pic and say cheese. All that joy was great until i returned home and notice things were out of place whats going on whats wrong? Come to find out my house been robbed. Money and items stolen. Heart was swollen. Who would do such things? Why us why us? Mom in tears this really broke my heart. And this was the outline that started to tear my mother and step father apart.

Year 9: Nothing to discuss cause i dont really remember much

Year 10: I was chilling. Spoiled as hell getting any game i want. Started making lies that i was sick so i can stay home and sleep. Im really surprised my mom never peeped. While the cab used to be out there waiting to take me to school. I used to sit on the toilet acting like i was taking a long poop

Year 11: Was in the 5th grade and i had another crush. I was feeling her she was the bomb. But she wasnt interested in me she wanted no parts. She was feeling my bro. It was no chance for me so i knew it was slow. I was blessed enough to graduate and get out of there and move on to middle school and thats when it all begin. But news hit me hard when my mom told me the man with my middle name was my actual father he just never wanted to show me love. Told me he didnt even want me alive i wasnt even supposed to be born. But my mom wasn’t having it. She kept me cause im the only one that came out to be her little man.

Year 12: Started six grade as a 5'11 freshmen but this is when it start when i was close to hitting depression. As my skin darken over the summer i got made fun of so much i would just snap. Making fun of the spots on my arm asking me why i am so black? This gets deep it gets very personal. Problems at home started and my mom over protection started to lead to rebellion. Crushing on girls for no reason cause i was wasting my time. I used to feel like i was a eyesore so why bother why try?

Year 13: In 7th grade i was focused on a new look, looking for the change. The pressure was too strong i was really feeling drain. The harsh bullying i recieved weren’t no joke i was losing my grip i didnt wanna hang on to the rope. So i tried to fit in and try to be down with my so call friends. But that was just the beginning its not even close to the end. I remember when i got a fresh cut for this girl. And my homie try to put me on . But then she gave me that look like something was wrong. So then she brought her friends along and they followed me and it became a roast session. Tried to get away but they were persistent. No where to hide so i had no choice but to listen. My feelings were hurt badly the pain was too deep. When i got home i took off everything and just cried myself to sleep. Insercurites was a demon and it was kicking in at that point i fell like s*** and i would do anything to lighten my skin. Cause i had that mentality that the only way for me to get the girl of my dreams is to go the extreme and not accept who i am as a young man cause my life is full of s*** becoming accepted by society was now my plan

Year 14: Now this year things turned out for the worst. Its like i was under a curse. But i finally got to get a girlfriend but it only lasted a few days. Dated others but i was young and horny so i just wanted to feel they butt and bust a quick nut. Cause i aint never did it before. It was the first time i tried weed but one try made me realize it was more of a want than an actual need. Cause i wanted to fit in i wanted to be down. Peer pressure is a mother f*cker it can turn your whole life around. I got caught up in play fighting than that play fighting turned into a knockout. Next thing you know we all serving super attendent supension we couldnt go to school but i wasnt the one that caused the knockout so idk what the suspension was about. But that suspension bit me in the a** cause i missed too much time i couldnt bounce back my grades i was running out of time. When the promotion and doubt letters came in i was very excited but the teachers and staff looking at me like i was retarted. What are you happy about? Your home boys are the one that is getting promoted and you are the one in doubt. I felt like god never cared for me i never could get blessings. So i spent my whole summer sheding tears and stressing.

Year 15: Repeating the 8th grade was crazy. Plus i was having issues at home. But i found a way to cope with it all. I wanted to do something else i wanted to play basketball. So it kept me focused. I was about 6'3 with long arms and a skinny frame. But i wasnt that good but its ok cause i was learning the game. Wasnt playing this time i started get work done but i would still want to do me and have a lot of fun. Got a girl and we dated for about 5 months. Come to find out she was cheating so i didnt want a girl no more i was done. But i did want to lose my V card that was a must cause all my bros was getting some. And i felt like it was my turn so i finally got some and once i got it i was hooked. Cut school for 3 days for a piece of action i was going through that phase. But i ended up getting caught and i got put on punishment for a while. Closing of the year and i found out i got promoted to high school here i come but i still had a middle school mentality F*** it though wings academy here i come.

Yead 16: Freshmen year of High school got to make the Varsity team. I was still skinny as hell though but a lot of promise in the coaches eye. The limits was off i can go beyond the sky. I joked around and didnt really take my grades serious. My family questioned my commitment they wondered if i was serious. But i came in at the age 15 so if i act a fool for a little while it was all good. Got in trouble though and missed the whole season as a freshmen. And at the end of the year my grades werent that good. So in the summer of 2013 i changed things up and had a plan it was become a better man or forever live in the hood.

Year 17: I was doing me. Thats right i was doing me. I went from a 68 to a 90 average. Started selling snacks in school so i can make some cash. Got a little stronger and started balling harder. But politics on the team was crazy so the coach tried to tell me to ball harder. The problems i had at home didnt really intefere with what i wanted to acoomplish. I didnt want a girl cause i figured spalding was my only girl. I only knew how to set picks and when to flash and when to curl. People realizing the change i made and all i wanted to do was make momma proud she brags a lot now she says im her one and only son out loud. I got to play AAU basketball and travel accross the country. Momma would make sure i went to each trip even if she had little money. The highlight of all those trips was being able to visit las vegas nevada.

Year 18: My junior year had its goods and bads. Still had good grades still was trying to get better at ball. But my hard work didnt prove anything cause my coach was saying nonscense how can i ever let another man ruin my confidence? But in the end i was able to receieve a championship ring. But i was still determined to get playtime and do my thing. So i focused on building myself both mentally and physically but building mentally was more important. I started reading more and more started watching videos that gave me knowledge. Started to become wise catching a girl that was physically and verbally abused by surprised. Put up with her mess so she can get the idea of a man at his best and forget about that lame she was dating and move on to the next. Things didnt go as plan but it was alright though. Cause i will still focus on doing me and achieving my goals. Even though some nights i would go hungry without a meal and months without TV because my mom was doing it all alone she couldnt pay the bill. But she made sure we were good cause her babies come first a lot of people dont know i been through the worst. But i stood strong and i stood tall. Cause i believe god would show me the way. So i kept my hopes high and kept on striving each day.

Year 19: Im a senior that finally got a chance to start for the team. I worked and grind hard. Straight determination but conflicts with coaches led to my team early elimination. Was chilling the whole year though. But still kept my grades good. Just wanted my diploma and enjoy my final days in Wings. Then move on to college and go do my thing. Closing of my senior year it was dope. I got to go to prom and hang with my bros and dance with my date. But in my head it was more then just dancing im such a sad case. Graduation day smiles and good vibes in the aroma got a couple of awards and the main prize my diploma. It was too real was i dreaming while in a coma? Summer time i worked and continue to build myself mentally and phyiscally. Trying to avoid the negatives and stay positive. Never wanna turn around and be the complete opposite. First year of college is approaching. My goal is to stay truetoself and not become to open. Focus on you, school is important.

Year 20: Freshmen year of college has been wild. Reality kicked in i realize i am no longer a child. Staying true to self is difficult when your around so much temptations. When its all said and done i can use a vacation. But i am now a better me better man. About 6'5 and 230 pounds of muscle. So you can try to knock me down but i wont even stumble yet alone fumble. Trying to crack me into pieces im never gonna crumble im ready for war im ready to rumble. I try to carry myself as soft natured a soft spoken man. Kind hearted. But im always a target ,by a crowd but my character is to powerful. My upbrinings is as humble as they come. They dont wanna be with me because they know i dont live the lifestyle of young wild and free im more of young, sincere and more into helping those in need. I wanna give a helping hands to those who reach out their arms to mines and tell them its going to be ok ,everything will be fine. Cause i know what it is like to feel left out i know what it is like to be stress. I know what it feels like to be insecure. I know what it is like to feel ashame you have no one you can adore. I wanna reach my full potential wanna be at my peak. A lot of people avoid me because they know they cant influence me. Im untouchable im unstoppable im a phenominal. This is a true story a humble nigga chronicles. I love the world i want whats best for everyone i want people to see beyond the glamour the temopary peace that involves the delusion of living a lifestyle that is the cover up for your pain. Cause i tried it once and it really didnt ease up my pain. So to sum up these 20 years of my life so far ima end it off like this. The people who i am about to forgive im this way because of you now listen to the heart of a man so merciful.

0 notes