#i shouldn't need to say that

[thatfreak03]

(Sorry for any spelling, grammar, or drawing mistakes)

I felt the need to draw Aggie and Caleb together.

I feel like these two would probably have a lot to talk about together.

#the owl house #paranorman #toh #caleb wittebane #toh caleb #the owl house caleb #paranorman agatha #paranorman aggie #agatha prenderghast #aggie prenderghast #crossover #dana terrace's the owl house #laika studios #laika films #laika kids #laika paranorman #Disney #NOT A SHIP #i shouldn't need to say that

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND) #the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there' #no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD. #and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them. #again..... fun times

[uncanny-tranny]

Basically, my philosophy around disability fakers is: I would rather a thousand people fake a disability than have one disabled person suffer without care, aids, compassion, or any help.

#disability #disability advocacy #and there's a difference not many people seem to recognize between faking and realizing you don't have [x] problem... #...such as realizing you don't have [x] disorder because it is instead [y] disorder... #...or you haven't completely understood your care needs/your symptoms/what helps you... #...and some people see ANY change in your understanding of your disability as proof of maliciously faking... #...when i suppose in my personal experience people don't *maliciously* fake disability... #...i'm not saying it could never happen but that i don't think it's the *only* thing motivating people called fakers #i just think (like most everything) this is complex and nuanced because it's a *human* experience #like for me personally i /know/ i still have a lot to learn about my disabilities... #...like... i realized recently that my hands shouldn't be in AGONY when warm water is ran over them when it's SLIGHTLY cold inside or out... #...and i realized that i likely have a Noticable limb difference that needs checking out. does this sound like i'm faking... #...or that maybe i just didn't really explore my own needs and body because of a variety of factors? #i can assure you it is because i haven't really thought before about how i deserved to understand how to best help myself

[handmedownpocketpussy]

You know how white people use being scared as a weapon? All those videos of white women saying, "I called the cops because I felt like I was in danger" and how white guys have tiktoks about, "You need at least one semi automatic weapon close at hand at all times to defend your family" kinda shit?

That's what bothers me so much about watching fellow jews acting like just seeing a Palestinian flag or keffiyeh somehow automatically makes a place unsafe.

I mostly see it in US American jews posting about how they feel threatened by a Palestinian flag, or saying that anything referencing not wanting thousands and thousands of Palestinians to die is 'a call for jewish genocide'

Y'all. No. This tells me you have never interacted with a Palestinian or even the Muslim community at large. We diaspora Jews are not the victims here.

Your assimilation has ended on the path of weaponisation of your fears, which is not a great place to be.

If you honestly believe "The only safe place in the world for Jews is Israel" you've bought into someone fearmongering. I'm begging you to investigate why you bought that lie and who is benefiting from you buying it

#I'm tired of thinking i've found jewish community only to find people who are blinded by their unfounded fears and taught to hate #palestinians are our cousins not our enemies #jumblr #i've been blocked a lot so I doubt people who need to read this will see it but I will continue sending this message #is there antisemitism? you bet your ass! #however if you think saying palestinians shouldn't die and should have their state recognised is a antisemitic you've drunk the koolaid

[redysetdare]

I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."

it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.

I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.

#text #personal #aro #aromantic #aroace #aspec #qpr #queerplatonic relationships #queer platonic relationships #tbh i was around when qprs were still getting footing. ppl werent sure how to properly label them #so to avoid allos saying it's just friends the common response was 'its more than friends but less than romance' #as if they were trying to justify it's existence as if we had to have a equivalent to romance to be justified in our identities and as ppl #because being aro made you not be a person. because how can you be a person if you dont love or have a partner #because being aro was sad because being aro meant ou were alone and you shouldn't want to be alone!! #and these ideas made it so that amatonormativity was just reinforced in aro spaces #and it isn't until recent years when amatonormativity started getting used top put a name to the problem #that i really saw ppl start standing up for aros who didnt partner because why are we expected to partner anyways? #shouldnt ppl be whole as they are? #and this is only my experience im not saying this happens everywhere #but this is why i think we need to have a conversation about QPRs and how they are used in aro spaces #because im not the only one who struggled through this #my experience may not be universal but my experience has happened to others #and thats worth talking about #srry im having a lot of thoughts recently

[infiniteorangethethird]

maybe unpopular opinion but probably one of the least useful pieces of advice I've ever got as an auDHD person to the question of "how tf does one make friends" was to go and join clubs/groups that do hobbies I enjoy. Not only does this not actually answer the question of how to make friends (yknow, how to approach people, how to start a conversation, how to appear friendly enough that they don't immediately reject you for existing, how to actually keep them as friends later on, etc), but also the chance of me choosing to force myself into the discomfort of "making smalltalk with random strangers" is absolutely nonexistent when the alternative of engaging with a hyperfixation is not only socially acceptable but even encouraged

#autistic #autism #actually autistic #adhd #actually adhd #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #one time a friend of mine took me to a knitting club #she kept telling me beforehand how nice everyone was and #i shouldn't be anxious cuz they are all nice ppl #when we got there the social anxiety got to me #so to calm myself i took out my project of the time #i then proceeded to hyperfocus on knitting for the rest of #the two hours that we spent there #ignoring everyone else and not talking whatsoever #and since they didn't approach me either i just sat there in silence #she obviously couldn't pass up the opportunity to make fun of me afterwards #needless to say i never went back there again #cuz i mean if i wanna knit i'm gonna to it in the safety of my home #i don't need the added stress of masking in front of others #i still don't know how to make friends

[lunarneo]

Poor Neo- "Wait a Second...."

#I thought I was the problem and at fault initially #and thought I needed to be better #be more. You can't make someone cheat though #certainly not saying I was perfect #I'm sure I had my quirks. It's just interesting to me how things played out #:D now i struggle not knowing if I'm overbearing and gonna drive people away! #i shouldn't feel guilty for sharing what happened to me #but i still do. this happened to me and i should be allowed to share it! #also this is NOT about “”being poly=cheating“” #I ASKED about poly relationships. THEY didnt like poly. i said ok. THEY cheated. they wanted monogamy and cheated. #very annoyed how many people commented on my art saying how their partner cheated on them and wanted poly #or saying shit bad about poly #THIS IS ABOUT CHEATERS GONNA CHEAT #i only included the poly thing because it was a connection i made that i thought was particular #furry #digital art #neo #digital drawing #drawing #furry art

[spielzeugkaiser]

I love your art soooo much-it gives me life!! 🥰🥰🥰

I have a question about Milek and Jaskier! Milek says they fought before Jask went missing-what did they fight about? Did Milek say something he shouldn’t have? 👀😢 is there ANGST?

Also does Geralt know Mileks plush friend is called Roach? Because surely that’s a clue that Milek is his…(I love this universe so much)!!🥹❤️❤️❤️

[MASTERPOST] That was the last conversation they had before Milek stormed out - and when he came back, Jaskier was. gone. The thing is, Jaskier knows what Milek is interested in (and he is not even wrong about that, Milek has an interest in medicine, and helping people, and I think when they met he was Shanis biggest fan) and I think Jaskier is aware that some of the conflict does have its roots in Milek not wanting to leave him, even if they get really heated and ugly in their arguments. Milek shouldn't feel like he has to care for him, or have to protect him and at times I think Jaskier feels quite ashamed, which leads him to being way too unrelenting at times - especially if he thinks he's doing something to protect Milek.

#jaskier #the witcher #geraskier lovechild #artists on tumblr #omegaverse #I think if they argue Milek is saying stuff he shouldn't all the time #I think for Milek the part that makes him feel really bad is that he KNOWS that Jaskier would always choose having him again and again #because he KNOWS that he loves him more than anything else #but he still implied that he doesn't know - and he knows what he said was cruel #but he also !! is so angry #because Jaskier always treats him like he knows what's best for him and. let it be true - it still makes him FURIOUS #he isn't a little kid anymore #and he wants to HELP he loves his father and he knows that Jaskier gives and gives and gives especially when it comes to him #he doesn't need a fancy education in an academy where he'll be just the bastard kid again #he just needs a Pa who doesn't absolutely run himself to the ground #and I think he finally wants to meet Geralt too #also I'm trying to do a thing here which I think shows how secure their relationship truly is #because Geralt sees Milek as a quite sensible (if sometimes a bit hotheaded) young man - who is quite mature for his age #which he CAN be #but Geralt is also basically a stranger even if Milek knows he's his dad - and he tries to impress him naturally - ofc he wants to be liked #with Jaskier? who has his one true emotionally secure relationship with? #moody teenanger - but also allowing himself to be childish at times - crying shouting teasing - exploding sometimes #because he never ever had to question their relationship once #he can just let loose

[robotpussy]

not to harp back to a few days ago but the whole "taking phone calls in public/loud music in public/playing music and videos outloud in public is rude etc. (the list could go on)" argument is not only absurd,

(not all public spaces are going to be silent its is unrealistic, outside cannot cater to every single person as everybody has different needs, but this is not me dismissing there are concerns for people who may have sensory 'issues' or may be bothered by loud sounds)

but has ties to racism and classism, especially considering that many nonblack and white people call the police about "noise complaints" on black and brown people and poor people because the music being played at a party is 'too loud' or music from a car is being played 'too loud', which leads to them getting arrested or killed.

It also has links to gentrification, it is known that people who do complain about a community being too loud are clearly not familiar with the cultures in that area and that loud noise being a nuisance is a clear sign you are coming into a culture that isn't yours

anyway i think some of you need to read the article linked because the influx of these types of arguments is concerning.

#articles #white supermacy #gentrification #racism #ableism #classism #ref #antiblackness #like as a black person i know drums and 'loud instuments' are important to the diaspora - black people ARE 'loud' and that is #ok it is our culture and its beautiful idgaf and I will not sit here and pretend that the whole 'outside needs to be silent' thing #is not aimed at black ppl. this also goes back to the whole weird hatred ppl have children #with ppl saying they hate it when babies cry in public and kids shouldn't go outside because they are noisy #its so very strange to me

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

it occurs to me that jamie's conversation with ted at the pub in 2x02 might be the first time he talks about his dad with someone who already knows that james is abusive (with the possible exception of georgie). which means that the first time he hears an outside perspective on the situation, it's ted telling him that his dad's abuse is what made him great

#i don't even have a point it just makes me sad. and also annoyed. every time i watch that scene i'm like why would you say that?????? #a lot of the time when jamie's talking about his dad i get the sense there's this underlying question of like #“i feel like this was bad. can you tell me if it was bad?” #and really i think he just needs someone to tell him straight up like. yeah that was bad he shouldn't have treated you that way #but when he brings it up with ted and higgins they try to put a positive spin on it (shout out to season 3 roy for not doing that) #ted lasso #jamie tartt #kvetch oc

[non-un-topo]

Young adults kaysanova?

#remember when i used to draw asdfghfdsa #this is barely them but still taggin #tog #the old guard #kaysanova #siggy draws #obviously someone likes the cold weather and someone doesn't #started with the cranky nicky face then i noticed he looked weirdly young and it evolved from there #always gotta have a cheery joe with you!! #ugh i NEED to finish writing that au in which they were childhood friends. i need it !!!!!! #shoutout to joe's comically large sword wink wonk #maybe that's why nicky's upset lol. but shouldn't he be.... glad? #idek what i'm saying anymore sdfgfds i'm delirious from schoolwork and possibly covid

[clockwayswrites]

Alright darlings. I can't believe that I'm having to write this, but even if you're joking, even if you say you're joking or end it with /j, please don't threaten writers.

Joking about grabbing a pitchfork or torches is fine, cliche angry mob and all! Joking about the writer hurting reader, jail for 1000 years is fine! There's lots of okay joking ways to express things. But as soon as it crosses into actual jokes of physical harm, you've crossed a line.

Do not threaten to actually harm people. Not to punch them or slap them or stab them. Do not threaten to break into their homes or stalk them or follow them.

Not only should you just not do this to the general person, but you also don't know if who you're telling this two has a history with abuse or home invasion or stalking. You could really mess someone up.

Even if you're joking saying 'I'm going to punch you for this (/j)' is not okay. Joking to break into someone's home while they're asleep for a 'prank' is not okay. Especially when your tone comes across as less than joking. Even if that's how you joke with your friends it is not okay to say to a stranger.

Please remember there is a difference between being friendly and being friends. And writers are not your friends just because they're posting work on ao3 or social media, even if you and them are friendly with each other. You're still strangers to each other and you do not know what jokes they are okay with.

So just don't.

It can really hurt people and even if you can only be selfish about it, it is a good way to make someone not write anymore.

#DO NOT start a witch hunt about this please #wasn't going to say anything #but I'm still bothered by it #i shouldn't be afraid of checking my comments #so I'm addressing here and will on ao3 as needed #and maybe block in one case #but don't go after anyone #fandom matters

[uncanny-tranny]

Love disabled people who just lie about their disabilities to nosy, intrusive questions. Sorry, yeah, I lost my arm in the wash one day. It's funny how that happens! Oh, I got back pain from saving nineteen children from a burning fire department <3

#disability #sometimes lying is just. funny. SORRY. #look like... whether you lie about why you're disabled you're still disabled and it shouldn't have to factor into how you're treated... #...if it isn't relevant to your care needs or care plan. #like. if you lost your arm does it matter if you say you lost it in the wash like a sock or tell your actual story... #...like either way you still /do not have an arm/. that doesn't change if you lie or not #anyway. huge defense for a post that probably didn't need said defense #sometimes you just feel like lying in such a grandiose way that people don't know if they SHOULDN'T believe you #i think my lie will be that a powerful necromancer preformed Emergency Bone Shaving on one leg only... #...and he used the bone shavings to raise a skeleton army that looks like My skeleton but only on the legs

[amiharana]

just so obsessed with the idea of revali silently loving link and pining so much for him, but holding back because he's already created this facade that he despises link, because zelda and mipha already loved him first, because why would link ever choose him? so revali keeps it all inside and tries to display his bitterness at unreciprocated love as jealousy and arrogance at the imbalance of their roles, and tries desperately to fall out of love with link.

but it's as though the little hylian won't let him.

link, who practically insists on staying by revali during battle, who stares at revali with that wide blue-eyed gaze, who naps peacefully with his head in revali's lap when they're alone. and revali should be ecstatic at how close they are, but it hurts more than anything. this isn't fair to him, to be so tantalizingly close to link but to never be able to have him more than this. it's so suffocating, revali doesn't think he can stand to do this any longer, or else it might kill him.

but he continues to let link do whatever he pleases; silently tagging along after revali to the archery range, sitting beside him at mealtimes and letting him sneak more bites from revali's plate as though revali doesn't see him, even going as far as to let link sleep with him in his hammock after what revali assumed to have been a very bad nightmare. no one says a single word when revali and link arrive late to breakfast, with link clinging sleepily to revali's wing and revali looking strangely peaceful.

try as he might (he's not trying at all), revali can't say no to link (and neither does he want to), so he supposes he might as well endure this suffering a little longer.

"why do you let me do all this?" link whispers to him once, in the dead of the night, wrapped around revali in his hammock. and revali is silent for a moment, trying to come up with some sort of answer that could defend his actions. but he can't.

"i don't know," he says simply. he can't tell link the truth.

"does it bother you?"

"do you think you'd still be in my bed practically choking me to death with how tightly you're wrapped around me if it did?" revali winces at how biting his words are, but link just hums and snuggles deeper into revali's neck. he doesn't stop link.

"if it bothered you, you'd tell me, right?" the little hylian murmurs.

revali thinks about it for a moment. and he decides, no, i wouldn't. if you wished to be warm, i'd let you use my body as fuel for a campfire.

"go to sleep," he says aloud instead, softly, gently. he couldn't tell link that either, and he probably never would be able to. he wouldn't ever have the chance. "we have battles to prepare for in the morning."

revali wraps his wings snug around the blond, and link practically purrs in content, dozing off immediately into the warmth. like this, the rito almost smiles. if burning himself alive was the only way to have link, even for just a moment that couldn't always be guaranteed, then revali would just have to make sure he stayed alight; to be the bonfire keeping link warm throughout the night.

#revalink #loz #botw #loz botw #legend of zelda #amihan's revalinkverse #this is a draft from APRIL folks. finally finished it up #alexa play the truth untold by bts #revali coming up with every excuse why link shouldn't ever love him back #and link refuting all those excuses with a solution or straight up saying he doesn't care #revali: we can't be together we're not even the same species i can't give you blood kin #link: that's okay i'm fine with adopting #to #revali: we can't date because ah. Uh. erm. ah see there! that spot on your neck! #i hurt you so deeply it left a mark it MUST mean that we weren't ever fated to be! #link: .... revali that is a hickey i willingly let you give me because i wanted it. #i was initially going to stop the post right before the dialogue #but i think it's very revalink of them to acknowledge all of it but continue as is #link thinks that they're fine and that their relationship doesn't need a label #meanwhile revali is straight up going WHAT ARE WE??? WHAT ARE WE LINK????? #q

[theprinceandthewitch]

I didn't think the Bible and The Pilot would make Sense and Insensitivity even more suspicious than it was... but it did...

The Lunter kiss really is going to haunt me forever...

#lunter #they literally made Luz's self insert kiss Hunter's beta design... #the ears are different but the hair is the same length and his profile is the same #how am I supposed to sleep at night knowing what I know... #they made a point abt how people shouldn't be punished for shipping what they want... in the first episode... and then they made #that whole ass kiss a thing in SAI... um... I need answers tbh

[a-local-idiots-shitpost]

Hey do you guys want your second horrible news for this month? because I think I'm done with Obey Me...

considering I'm not a big fan of the events most of the time and think Nightbringer has more downsides then ups, I doubt anything can get me re-interested again so there is a good chance I'll drop it for good, but don't worry I'm still invested enough in the characters to keep writing for some time ^-^ and the only time you know I'll stop if I release a really big story I have been planning for a really long while now

#local shouldn't be allowed to think #also I like haven't touched the app for weeks and honestly I don't miss it #the OG has horrible loading times for me because of shitty wi-fi and there isn't that much more for me to see because I don't like the #events anyway #also I plan to make a story that'll follow season one and two of the game so that'll be a shit ton if work #and I say that will be the time I'll decide I'm done for good because this will need a lot of planning and work for me to pull of #I'm already dreading the planning progress