#i still like the idea of stars in the body but the Seraphim character had like green lightning going on | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sondepoch · 4 years

Text

He Chose God

Tales of Our Love (Simeon x Reader)

You were an angel. Such an angel. Why had you been born as a human? Your heart was too pure, too kind, too angelic for you to belong anywhere but in the starry skies of the Celestial Realm—a place where Simeon could freely love you. But God had birthed you to Earth. Out of the reach of the heavens, and out of the reach of Simeon's love.

~Part of a series but can be read as a oneshot

He Chose God | Wake Up | Astronomical | ✎ |

MASTERLIST

He chose God.

"It's the right choice," You had assured him, smiling softly. It didn't help, though. Seeing such a tranquil smile appear on your face when he knew all too well of the turmoil he was putting your heart through only made him feel worse. "Don't look so sad, Simeon," You whispered, wrapping him in a gentle embrace. "You're doing the right thing."

He choked back a sob as he clutched your shoulders, holding onto your body like it was a lifeline. It was twisted, wasn't it? Here he was, breaking up with you, saying that he couldn't love you anymore because he chose God and still, you were the one comforting him.

Simeon clung to your figure, pressing you close despite the fact that your heart was already growing out of reach. Loving as ever, you let him, giving the man all the time he needed to say goodbye.

You were an angel.

Such an angel.

Why had you been born as a human? Your heart was too pure, too kind, too angelic for you to belong anywhere but in the starry skies of the Celestial Realm—a place where Simeon could freely love you.

But God had birthed you to Earth. Out of the reach of the heavens, and out of the reach of Simeon's love.

He pulled himself unsteadily from your arms, trying his hardest to avoid your eyes. Those loving eyes, always so soft with adoration and warmth and kindness.

"I'm so sorry," He repeated, despite your continued hushes that there was nothing to be sorry for.

But there was.

He needed forgiveness.

From you, or from God—did it make a difference?

The angel had sinned. Claimed your lips hundreds of nights, pulled you into his lap and forgotten every hymn except the song of your voice as you moaned under his touch. And now he was leaving you, the night before your return to the human world, apologizing for all his love and taking it back.

Worse yet, you weren't even angry.

Curse at me, he wanted to tell you. Shout at me, hit me, slap me, return all the pain I am giving to you tenfold!

But you didn't. You hummed quietly, running your hands through his hair, murmuring that he shouldn't blame himself. That it wasn't his fault he chose God over you.

Simeon never did figure out how he managed to separate himself from your arms.

That night, it was Lucifer he went to. His old companion, the only person he knew would give him the truth.

"Did I do the right thing?" He asked, hands shaking as he stood before the fallen Morningstar. "Tell me, Lucifer. Tell me the truth!"

Lucifer had sighed, staring at the ground. It was a long time before the demon finally spoke, but when he did, his voice was soft.

"It is too late to change your decision."

Lucifer rested a hand on Simeon's shoulder as he said the words, a quiet offer of strength that was perhaps the only reason the angel was able to remain standing as regret filled his heart.

It was too late to change his decision.

Thousands of years ago, when Lucifer had led his rebellion against God and filled the Celestial sky with blood and pain, Simeon had sided with the rest of the angels and fought against his old friend. It was a decision he had made in confidence, despite his love for Lucifer. But it was one he never would have made if he had known the extent of his eventual love for you.

A small part of him almost wished that you hadn't reciprocated his feelings.

Maybe, just maybe, if you had fallen in love with one of the demons, then your heart would have been saved. These creatures of the Devildom were free to love whomever they wished, after all. They could stay with you at the RAD for all eternity and bathe in your love every morning.

But not Simeon.

He had chosen to fight for God, and he cursed himself to the life of an angel, a life that denied him the right to hold a human's heart. And it was a decision he would never be able to take back.

"I'm sorry," He whispered to Lucifer.

Simeon didn't know what he was apologizing for. He didn't even know if the words were meant for the demon's ears. He just knew that: he was sorry.

The feeling stayed with him the next morning, as he and Luke made their return to the Celestial Realm. It never disappeared, not when he made his reports to the archangels or the seraphims or at any point except for when he could return to his own abode in the clouds and gaze upon the human realm.

But the angel couldn't see you.

The heavens were too far up, and Simeon could only gaze upon the vague shape of the continent he knew you lived in, wondering if you were staring up at the sky in longing for him, as well.

He barely noticed as the days turned into weeks, and after he had already been absent for an entire year, few noticed his increased disappearances during the day when he would return to his home cloud, eyes drawn to where he knew you were.

He wanted to go to you.

Simeon felt his breath catch in his throat when the idea crossed his mind, realizing the weight of the thought. Was it not already a sin to consider forsaking the life God had given him? A crime, to sacrifice the gifts he was bestowed with in favor of personal gratification?

Ah, Simeon couldn't help but think. But what is one more sin?

Indeed, his transgressions seemed endless. Every moment spent with you, another offense against his holy nature. You were his vice, but also the one thing he would never stop desiring.

Jump, he told himself, long legs approaching the edge, a queer sense of calmness wrapping around him at the prospect. Jump, and let go of all the pain.

He couldn't help but wonder if he would be reborn as an angel.

Wouldn't that be amusing? To leave the realm and come back to it all the same, forced to continue his eternity without the love of his life.

Alas, it didn't matter. If he was sent to the human world, the chances of him finding you were slim—and if he was rebirthed as a demon, it would be too late. Reincarnated, he might be, but there would be no life for him without you.

There already was no life without you.

The only times he had been alive—not just breathing but feeling—were those long nights he spent with you, fingers intertwined and lips ghosting over skin. He breathed life in the warmth of your skin, the flush of your cheeks, the chime of your laughter.

He breathed life in you.

Simeon's fingers didn't tremble as he walked to the edge of the clouds. He felt calm as the softness of the heavens shifted under his weight, threatening to dissipate. The skies were fickle, and angels always stayed in the center, but he had no fear in his heart.

In the end, Simeon did not jump.

He simply kept walking forward until the clouds supporting him could not, and then he was falling from the sky, graceful and slow.

His wings did not beat, his halo did not shine. He drew closer to the earth, further from the heavens, and it was not long before he met the painless end he had sought, memories of your time together bringing a smile to his face even in his final moments.

Body approaching Earth, Simeon had turned into a shooting star, elegant as he streaked across your night sky, shining with the final glow of everything holy that remained inside him.

By then, he was already gone.

He could not know that you had seen the light, and gasped as you saw the first shooting star since your return from the Devildom. He could not know that your eyes had taken one glance at the light and that your heart had whispered a prayer—a gentle wish that you had never abandoned even after Simeon had left your arms for the final time.

Let him be happy, you whispered to the God he had foolishly chosen, affection flooding your mind as the shooting star disappeared.

Your wish was wasted.

MASTERLIST

He Chose God | Wake Up | Astronomical | ✎ |

Word count: 1.4k

Notes: I feel like this angel has more angst potential than all the other characters combined

Comment & Like

Thank you for reading <3

I do not own the rights to Obey Me! or any of the characters within it.

375 notes · View notes

lauranthalasah · 5 years

Text

A different take on Crowley was Raphael... and Crowley’s power

Again with Crowley as Raphael and other ideas... for them I would be trowing in the same bag some Bible facts, some Good Omens facts, some original ideas. But keep in mind some things... I know very little about the Bible or any religion, what follows in this post are my personal ideas... with which I decided to play a bit and share.

You don’t like these ideas? that’s absolutely perfect, you can forget everything about them, it is not my intention to diminish the wonderful character that is Crowley, I just want to play with him :p

To start... some facts in our reality before digging in:

1) Angelical classification (Christianity):

Seraphim

Cherubim

Thrones

Dominions

Virtues

Powers

Principalities

Archangels

Angels

BUT! Neil Gaiman said that he and Sir Terry thought of a difference between “archangels” and “Archangels” so they put the Archangels of the story as the big bosses of Heaven (and Hell for the fallen ones).

2) There are multiple religions with different archangels but the ones that are quite everywhere are Michael, Gabriel and Raphael (Uriel also is there a lot). These three are seen as a protector/warrior (Michael), a messenger (Gabriel), and a healer (Raphael).

Facts and inferences from Good Omens (show and book):

1) For all we know Crowley doesn’t have a high rank on Hell even if he gets to do pretty much everything important that Hell gets blamed for.

2) Crowley is basically Satan, he is the Satan that it is mention time and time again in the Bible. He is the serpent of the Garden, he is the tempter of Jesus. He is not Lucifer, but he is Satan.

3) Crowley cares for people from the very beginning.

4) At some point, we know without a doubt, Crowley had to start doing blessings and other good things.

5) Crowley has an imagination... a really powerful one and we saw how this particular characteristic of his was strong enough for keeping him safe when a demon with a higher rank than his perished.

The fun part:

So... imagine for a bit that one day someone is dying, lets say a kid, and Crowley gets fed up with it, he likes kids, damn it! Then, he decides to heal the kid, the kid wakes up and sees this creature over him, and he feels so much better, and this creature is weird, it’s not a man, not really. “What are you?” asks the kid and Crowley panics for a bit, because he is a demon he can’t let people talk about a “healer” Crowley (Hell will notice), so he goes to default options and says his real name “I’m the archangel Raphael”... see that lower case there? Because that’s what I was thinking about.

What if Raphael wasn’t an Archangel but just and archangel? He wasn’t important, he wasn’t Lucifer, Gabriel, Michael and Uriel’s brother. He was one of the millions of archangels out there, he was working in the cosmos, his true job was creating stars, and galaxies, and nebulaes, and he had doubts, he wasn’t completely in agreement with the plans for humanity, he started asking questions, and he was marked certain way, and down he went with everyone else who dare to question the Almighty.

So, in a moment of panic, Crowley uses his angelic name because at that time no one knew his name, no one cared about Raphael, in Heaven Raphael was nobody, a name lost in the Fall. But in Earth he heals someone and people embrace that name, then he gets to do it some other times... sometimes even for a laugh (really... the Tobit shit... Crowley would die laughing at that craziness), and the name gets pass on, it becomes “Archangel” for people, because they don’t know the difference, people love him, pray to him, thanks him, people attribute miracles to him (some he did, most he didn’t), it’s humanity and not God who makes Raphael the angel of Healing, and with time, Raphael is as important in Earth as any of the other Archangels, Archangels that are completely ignorant of his existence because they never bother to really pay attention to Earth, and Aziraphale probably knows the truth and decided to keep it a secret to keep Crowley safe from the ire of Heaven.

Now, even if Crowley is a low demon, he was showed to be quite powerful, we saw him do some very interesting things, but the one at the end with the time stopping, Lucifer, and the sand’s of time (were those the sand’s of time?!)... that’s big, and how this lowly demon can do these things? Why Aziraphale turns to him in a moment of desperation so sure that Crowley will come with something? And he did, of course.

Well, for one (and the canon answer)... Crowley’s imagination, it is a thing of beauty, this is a very creative demon, his work is subtle, usually setting a series of events that would leave the ultimate decision always in the hands of the person that later will have to deal with the consequences of their actions, even for Ligur (as it was pointed out in a magnificent meta I read and I can’t find now!). Taking this imagination in count, still feels like he pulled something huge while stopping (even for an instant) Lucifer’s coming, it felt like he was pulling power with all his body from Hell to pull that one, at least to me, and that keeps me thinking...

And I... well, you know, there’s that idea going around (not from Good Omens, just in fiction in general, like American Gods) that gods and other figures need people to worships them, that somehow they depend on people believing in them to simply exist, the more people believe in them and pray to them, the more powerful these beings are. We can assume that the God, angels and demons of Good Omens don’t need that to exist as they all existed before humanity... but what about power? What if their power increase by worship? No one knows about Aziraphale, so even if he is a pretty strong angel on his own, he only has his own power to rely on. But people pray to Michael, to Gabriel, and (you know it), to Raphael. What if that could increase the amount of raw power at hand for them?

If you think of that you have to think that Crowley is also the Satan that we know the most about, and there are many satanist religions out there, sometimes Satan is their God, sometimes it’s the idea behind his figure (liberty, individualism, rebellion), or behind the true meaning of the word Satan (in Hebrew it means adversary, opposer, one to accuse or question). So that image of Satan also has power, a power that somehow, in some cases, could also be given to Crowley?

Finally, the serpent. I think that might be the point of union between these three parts of what could be seen as a single character. The serpent is seen as dangerous, evil, deceitful, but it is also seen as a symbol of fertility*, life and healing.

Crowley as a demon is a serpent, he is the reason that serpents are mistrusted , he is The serpent, and that Serpent it’s called Satan then because of his actions, and again when he is tempting Jesus, and a serpent is part of the Staff of Asclepius, the symbol that to this day represents medicine, there are only two things in that symbol, the staff and the serpent, and it is the serpent the one that represents Healing. The serpent is all of those things, the Serpent is Crowley, the Serpent is Satan, the Serpent is a Healer (remember that in the book is Crowley who brings back to life that poor dove).

So imagine that in Good Omens this beings could get power trough adoration, you have this lowly demon, who was also almost at the end of Heaven hierarchy as an angel, a quite simple being (for an ethereal/obscure being), that gets so intrinsically intertwine in human history that gets prayers, gets meaning, he becomes, by just interacting with humanity, a part of humanity’s every day life, he becomes symbolic to humanity, in good ways and bad ways, to the point that it doesn’t matter if it is good or evil praying, it doesn’t matter the side, because he would get adoration for all the sides, for all the good reasons, and for all the bad reasons.

How much power can something like that give to a simple serpent who wanted a woman to know the difference between right and wrong?

All trough this mess of a meta or head-canon or whatever the hell this is, the only thing I wanted, was for Crowley to be what he is and what he becomes and what he could have been, all of that by using his actions, because I think the beauty of Crowley’s character is his inner sense of right and wrong, we know him only as a demon (as an angel we only know that he helped to create some part of the cosmos), and that demon is naturally more compassionate than pretty much any other character in Good Omens, but more important is that he questions the authority, he has already lost everything he had because of that, but he keeps on questioning, when it feels wrong, he questions, and I love that so much! So this is a different take on the Crowley was Raphael idea, and it has a lot of other things going on there, but all of them are born as possibilities from Crowley’s own actions.

* Funny little thing that serpents could be seen as symbols of fertility because Ashtoreth (a name that Crowley chooses to represent him as female) is a goddess of fertility. Now... did Crowley chose the name or did Crowley reclaimed it?

#character headcanon: anthony j crowley #anthony j crowley #crowley as raphael #crowley as satan #good omens

63 notes · View notes

karamorrdraws · 5 years

Text

The Night Series Pt.50

The Final Relic

Pairing: Rhysand x Reader Words: 1,819

Disclaimer: This series is based on the world created by the amazing Sarah J. Maas. These characters are hers and no hate intended towards any of them. I love them all.

Author’s note: Hello everyone! I AM SO INCREDIBLY SORRY FOR MAKING YOU GUYS WAIT SO LONG! I AM SO SORRY OMG I’ve just been terribly busy and I don’t know... kinda been in a block lately so yeah... I do hope you like this extra long chapter! We are already so close to the ending! <3 Thank you so much for still reading and leaving comments! Those mean the world! <3

CATCH UP HERE! Read Part 1 here: PART ONE THE NIGHT SERIES MASTERLIST

The Final Relic

Darkness. Complete utter darkness. Somehow it felt familiar. The I realized. I could feel it. The bond. The mating bond. My heart skipped a beat as I looked all around me. Only darkness stared back at me.

Where are you, I asked the darkness.

Please be here, mate, I thought.

Where are you?, I asked once more.

Silence. I closed my eyes.

Find me. Take me home.

My heart stopped.

That was him. My mate. His voice…

Where are you? where is your home? You are my home. Take me with you.

I breathed.

Who are you who are you who are you?

Silence.

If you loved me you would know. Tell me. Tell me who you are. I can’t. Please You already know who I am. Who are you who are you who…

…

I woke up to a fireball launched straight at my face. I barely reacted in time and rolled out of the way. Yet I wasn’t fast enough. I screamed in pain as I grabbed my burnt arm. The Wyvern… It was awake.

“Sanare”, I said in pain as I looked all around for the Wyvern.

I breathed. It was dark all around so I couldn’t see the wyvern. I opened my hand and tried to make fire. But then… FIRE. Fire all around me as the wyvern attacked me once more. I grabbed the relic and this time I evaded the hot flames. Then I noticed. Everything was gold. The fire the wyvern threw at me light up the cavern and it was blinding.

So thats why they call it the golden cavern, I thought as I got up my feet.

Now that I knew where the wyvern was, I started to run towards the tunnel.

Get out get out get out

Out of nowhere, the wyvern appeared at the entrance of the tunnel. I stopped as I looked directly at it. It showed me its teeth and flames started forming in its mouth. There was nowhere to go. I was dead.

“I’m sorry, Rhysand”, I whispered as the wyvern used its fiery breath attack on me.

I felt a cold hand on my shoulder and then the blinding fire of the wyvern filled the entire cavern. Fire. Fire so strong and hot it should’ve killed me. Yet I was alive. I was confused as the wyvern kept spitting its fire towards me. I couldn’t feel it. Why couldn’t I feel it?

It doesn’t matter. RUN.

So I ran. I ran towards the entrance of the tunnel as the wyvern tried attacking me with fire. Then it realized it wasn’t working, so it tried attacking me with its claws. I ran like my life depended on it, because it did. The wyvern let out a screeching sound. And then I heard steps behind me, following me. I ran faster. The relic was so heavy it was weighting me down, but of course I couldn’t leave it. The whole point was to take it with me, so I held it tight as I ran. If the wyvern got close enough to harm me, I had no way to defend myself… And knowing that kept me going.

…

After running for a while, I arrived at the point where the tunnel had collapsed and noticed there was another tunnel that went up. I didn’t have time to even think about it, I just ran towards it, hoping it took me up. Up towards the exit. Where Rhysand was still waiting for me. Hopefully.

…

My breathing was hard as I arrived at the point upper point. There was a huge gap from where I had fallen so I stopped there. In the distance, I could see him. Rhysand. He had waited for me after all. I wanted to lay on the ground and cry my eyes out, yet I couldn’t. I had to figure out how I was going to clear the huge gap.

Think, I told myself as I looked behind me.

The wyvern was nowhere to be seen. I turned towards the gap once more. Realization hit me then.

There is no other way, I told myself as I backed a few steps. I have to jump.

I knew that the relic would make it harder for me to clear the gap, yet, I knew if I didn’t try it, I would die either way. So either way I had already lost. The only way I could escape was this reckless act. I readied myself. Rhysand just stared at me. I breathed. Then I ran as I’ve never ran before and at the last moment, I jumped. I jumped as high as I could. I felt the breeze of the outside as I was on the air. A second later, fire erupted from the gap. The Wyvern… it was below… waiting… I screamed in pain as the fire burnt my lower body. Then I realized Rhysand was screaming too. Tears of pain escaped my eyes as I hit the ground. I had done it. I had cleared the gap. I should’ve been happy I had done so, but I had to get out before the wyvern flew up and ate me. I wasn’t safe yet. I hugged the relic towards my body and tried getting up. I couldn’t. So I started crawling towards the exit. My nails were a mess. So close, yet so far. I hadn’t even moved 5 feet when I heard the wyvern landing right behind me.

Too late. It’s too late, I thought to myself.

I looked at Rhysand helplessly as the wyvern was about to reach me. His face… the expression on his face… We knew it was over… Yet…

The string.

The idea hit me so fast I started shaking. I blindly looked for the invisible string that connected me to Rhysand’s power and the second I found it I pulled hard on it. My body began to glow as his powers ran through me.

Focus, I told myself.

I barely got up and blasted hot blue fire towards the wyvern. It staggered back and screamed as it fell in the gap. I had bought myself a few seconds. I turned around.

Wings. Wings. Wings.

I’d never willed wings on myself before. It was tricky. I’d known how they looked like before since I’d studied the seraphim closely. I’d never actually seen one face to face, but there were books about their wings and their mechanisms. I have to admit that I’d always been amazed by them. The wyvern roared.

Don’t turn around. Don’t stop. Just concentrate, I told myself as I felt the wings starting to appear on my back.

Once I was sure the wings had appeared I started to move them. I could feel the new muscles on my back as I started to wake them up as I began to spread my wings and moving them up and down. It was hard. But I was used to this feeling. Amarantha had taught me how to manifest talons, claws, and other things while teaching me how to use my magic. Of course, that had always been while touching someone who actually had these features. I’d never actually tried to do this without actually seeing those features and touching them. I’d never tried flying before since it would be impossible to do so while touching another fae. But with Rhysand, I could do anything. I closed my eyes and wished it worked. I willed wind and then jumped and suddenly I was on the air. The wyvern growled at me as I ascended. I flapped my wings faster as I got used to the way the current I had created helped me escape. The wyvern was up now. I was barely out the tunnel when it launched fire at me again. It never hit me. A second later I was out. I glanced behind me out of fear that the wyvern was still behind me, because it was. Somehow it had gotten out with me. An idea hit me. I let the relic fall as I flew past Rhysand. Then I headed towards the geyser. I knew there was a geyser that erupted from whatever the deadly lake was made of, so I flew towards it as I felt the hot breathe of the wyvern behind me. I heard Rhysand screaming, but I was set on this. I was flying above the lake when I saw it.

1 2 3

EXPLOSION

1 2 3

EXPLOSION

I was flying towards it

I was on top of it

EXPLOSION

I barely made it to the other side when I heard a terrible scream behind me. A piece of the lower part of my dress had dissolved as the water barely touched it.

I turned around. The wyvern had fell for it. I took a big breathe as I headed back to the entrance of the cave. Then I saw Rhysand flying towards me. But I couldn’t fly anymore. I was exhausted. I started loosing height, so I tried landing for the first time… I landed badly… and by landed I mean I hit myself with a few branches and nearly feel onto the ground. Thankfully Rhysand was there to catch me just as I was about to hit the ground. My whole body ached. From the burns, from the cuts, from exhaustion… But I was alive. I had escaped the wyvern and I had gotten the last relic out of there. I closed my eyes briefly.

“I got it”, I whispered in Rhysand’s arms as he landed.

I winced as he did. I didn’t knew how he could do it. Flying. It seemed so easy and graceful when he did it, but now I knew it wasn’t. At all.

“You– you have wings”, he said, astonished.

I opened my eyes and looked at him. I could see his worry, after all, I was badly hurt, but I barely laughed at his words. With all the escape happening, I hadn’t even taken a look at my wings. I looked over my shoulder and was amazed myself at the sight of them. I had long seraphim wings. Long golden seraphim wings. I felt so tired. So extremely exhausted because of the flight. But I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped from my lips. I felt so fancy with those wings. It was so stupid. Had I seriously given myself golden wings? It was such an absurd thing. Rhysand smiled as I laughed like a crazy person.

“I must look stupid”, I whispered as I looked at my shredded, burnt and dirty clothes.

The golden wings really stood up.

“You look like a fallen star”, he said as he smiled further.

Despite everything, I smiled back at him.

“Let’s get out of here”, he finally said as he hugged me closer to him.

And I couldn’t be more glad for that.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Tags: @alphaomegahybrid @thebookisbtr @karlabaza @jedibookshrikeofnorta@tyblacktrn ENDLESSWORLD246 @descent-into-hell-is-easy @foreverlovingthenightskies nephelle–warrior-scribeskorpionfirefly@aliceofwunderland princess-of-the-fandoms nerdyfangirl-3647hiitsmetheultimatetrash jongindeepbreath @lovinglyweirdfangirl @tommy-braccoli deezrmuhsheeplemusicfreak180markusstrayahellofromashitshowdarlingimasimmer @fiery-feyre@ahufflepuffbitchsparrowsparrow acourtofdifferentfandoms shikigami-the-paper-spirit shikigami-the-paper-spirit arwenbk3ignimbritetcax@ourbooksuniverse crystalyuu jasontwdd skeletoresinthebasement acourtofswift

Thank you once again to all of you for reading! <3

If you wanna get tagged in future updates just send me a message! :)

75 notes · View notes

mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 3 years

Text

I'm Only Posting To Share This Link To Owl House Petition (And Say I Found ANOTHER Toxic-Religious Person)

I wasn’t going to post anything until a few more months....

but this needs to be said........

The Owl House NEEDS another Season,

it's bad enough what happen to Wander Over Yonder.

and yeah to me it sucks what happen to the Realm of Magic in SVTFOE, I mean Stars family MISUSE the magic and then Star decides to put the full blame on the magic,

instead of her two-faced Mom....that is scapegoating.

I still love SVTFOE and even MLPFIM and even Steven Universe and Steven Universe Future.

but at least I can point out that the characters in it, can be pretty messed up in their so called view of justice.

and if it turns out that Owl House is being cancelled because of a certain reason....

then maybe it be best if Cartoon Network took it away from them.

yes I'm a little bit annoyed with Cartoon Network too, with the whole non-stop Teen Titans Go,

but at least that show has hope to stop before it becomes just as bad as a cartoon that is on Nickelodeon....the same one that was suppose to end after the show’s creator died, and it turns out that the said show’s creator wanted the show that is Spongebob to end, but after he died the people who run Nickelodeon went against his wishes....and some of us had no idea until now.

the show is still good, but the non-stop broken marathon had put me in a bad place before....and made me have some dark thoughts.

I don’t mind watching Spongebob once in a while, but I don’t want to too much after having to put up with it for some months.

here is the link to the petition for the Owl House

https://www.change.org/p/disney-don-t-cancel-the-owl-house-diversity-is-important-give-us-season-4

I also want to say, that at first I wanted to watch to make sure I was mistaken....

that the girl who had the video titled

A Christian's Response To Disney Debuting First Bisexual Lead Character

as I thought I was misunderstanding, but the more I heard her....

I found out that I wasn’t mistaken........she’s one of THEM.

disgusting filthy insensitive.....and she DARES call what she was feeling some kind of......I HATE Her so much, even if we are lucky that NOT all Christians think the way she does.....but it still peeves me off.

even if I wanted to go by Neo-Christian/Ma-Acolyte,

but then started to having thoughts of no longer going by Neo-Christian, but just Neo-Spiritual instead.......

I think I have decided to no longer go by Neo-Christian...

I can still believe that there are still good people who go by Christian or Neo-Christian.......but I’m just so mad at that person.

does she even realize that even with some same bio-sex couples,

sure she pretty much points out that a “Man and Woman are a normal couple”

so wait what does that leave me...?

I mean yeah I had figured out that I am more of a Female and Nonbinary,

and started to go by Gyno-Agender, and I feel I am in a Chrysalis Stage right now and might just go by Feminine-Nonbinary and still go by She/Her.

and even if it might turn out I might be Intersex, even if I get a Yes to my question about that from my pendulum.

but I am still not 100% sure if I am Intersex......

when we are born either male or female, at times there will be those who will be born Intersex but still be male or female.....some Intersex bodies will be noticeable and others will not be so......the babies that aren’t notice to be intersex after they are born, are the lucky ones....

and I’m sure some knows what could happen to the unlucky ones...

but they will only be unlucky, if their parents aren’t inhuman jerks who take the choice away from them.

no matter if I’m a Earth Angel or not, but that girl should just shut her trap.

yeah even if it’s okay for someone to be free to say what they want,

and not everyone has to agree with them but try to respect the differences.

but that Toxic-Christian is going TOO FAR........

not everyone is a Toxic-Christian, or any type of Toxic-Religious person.

and the Semi-Toxic Religious types have a chance to change, I think...

NOT ALL MAGIC IS EVIL WITCHCRAFT you insensitive prick.

I still believe in God and Jesus,

but I’m going to hope to go live with Earth Mother....

and by Mother, I mean the Goddess....

I mean yeah I can’t stand Toxic-Religious people like her....

and I had a bad experience with one a few years ago,

who kept misusing the words “may the lord have the mercy on you.”

just because I believe in a Goddess now too......

I have to be in the Neo-Religious closet, Gender Identity closet

and the whole being Aroaceflux closet......

I know I said this before, that I wanted to come out to my family

well to my Mom, about being a Asexual Flux........

but it didn’t work out because when I wanted to get her thoughts on what she thought about Asexuality, her answer made me decide to NEVER tell her.

as well as after I did get the answer from her, and her thoughts.

I went to my room, and ended up crying.

it hurt knowing I can’t tell my family....because they are stuck in their ways....

and might only be only a Semi-Toxic Religious......if it’s Semi, it’s not so bad.

it’s the full toxic ones I can’t stand....

there are some things that are really REALLY messed up...

I mean Mary Magdalene was NOT a prostitute for one,

that was just a big fat lie....

I really need to listen to some comfort music right now....

because of that person.

right now I’m listening to Born Without A Heart by Faouzia, right now.

I had finished listening to F**k You by Lily Allen....

once again everyone has a right to their own opinion,

but there is some things you should NOT cross the line of.

that person did just that.......

also I know a person like her, would probably make me feel bad...

I mean yeah I ran into her kind before.......a toxic-religious person,

who even if you try to tell them how bad they are making you feel,

and making you cry....because of you believing in a Goddess too or if you happen to see yourself as both Binary and Nonbinary....

but no matter how much you try, it doesn’t get through and they will keep doing it.........I really can’t stand her......I only found out about her and her video, and I already really hate her.......

I’m sorry, but that is just how I feel....I really REALLY hate her.

and no matter if you are religious or atheist, I’m sure you might think she was taking it too far....

it’s not like she is the type to believe in Earth Angels,

or the fact that some percent of them will be born as Nephalem....

and just in case I might be a Nephalem....I do have a plan to get certain gem to block any dangerous powers that might end up appearing....

I did get a Yes when I asked “Archangel Azrael, am I a Earth Seraphim.”

to my pendulum....I asked that other times before, and when I asked it again just now....I got another Yes.

I even asked if I am a Demi-Succubus, got another Yes.

but I wasn’t a Succubus when I was a baby,

babies no matter what bio-gender they are, they don’t start out as a Incubus or succubus....when we are babies, we start out as Cambion...or in my case I was a Demi-Cambion......

but Demi-Succubus, aren’t like the OTHER Succubus....

because of the mix Spiritual/Soul Heritage,

it is possible for a Earth Angel to end being a Demi-Succubus.

unlike the normal Succubus, such sexual energies

that can be given off by others can be harmful to Demi-Cambion,

which is what a Demi-Succubus

(or Demi-Incubus, if there are any.) starts out as before they fully mature.

anyway any form of sexual energies that either it be from a teenager or adult, that kind of energy that is given off

even if they are just standing a few feet away or maybe in another part of the room from the Demi-Cambion Child...

it can be dangerous and can cause the Demi-Cambion to have a seizure.

if the Demi-Cambion is a Earth Angel as well, there can still be another reason for the seizure to happen.

such as the negative energies that either people or a place is giving off,

the best thing is to move to a place with less negative energy.

and perhaps get some gems to act as a protection against not just the sexual energies, but also the negative energies.

also when a Demi-Succubus does become a Mature enough, they might end up dream walking without really meaning to.

but instead of the dreamer they walked into the dream of being in danger,

it is the Demi-Succubus.

who will be in a type of trance caused by the other dreamer, this power is normally caused by a Succubus or Incubus,

who will use their powers to put a Human who is in their dream into a type of trance just to take what they need from them.

but as for a Demi-Succubus, it might be the other way around....

the only way for a Demi-Succubus to protect herself or themself,

is it possibly get a Dream-Catcher, well before I got the big dream-catcher I have now...well to me it seems to work so far, and that is what I believe.

I became self aware of what was going to happen in a dream I was having,

lucky the dream changed...

but I didn't want to go to sleep after what could of happen, so I had tried to keep myself awake until I got a Dream-Catcher to protect me.

and well I know before that happen,

I think I might of had a encounter with a Incubus, I know I was on my back and it was really dark and I was like between awake and asleep.

and I felt something that was too real and it scared me fully awake....

after that happen I had to get some extra protection so it didn't happen again.

it's fine that not everyone believes in this stuff.

I mean if others want to believe it, it should be because they want to

and be the free will of their very one to do so.

and not forced into it.

it’s not likely that toxic-religious girl will agree what I’m saying or understand my feelings....or why she makes me so mad.

she might too far gone into the corruption that hides in the indoctrination.

even if there are those who might be strong willed to not fall into it,

and still hold onto their religious belief,

if one is not careful they will fall prey to the darkness that hides within it....

I want to try to relax and maybe try some meditation later,

maybe after watching some cartoons and maybe after I play Mass Effect.

I think I am calming down a bit, when I first saw the video I got really mad and tried to think that it might be a misunderstanding and it wasn’t them that had that view........but I was wrong.

it’s a wonder why I end up being Semi-Misanthrope, I still like humanity and I know there are still good people in this world.....but it’s humans like HER that get to me....or the ones who misunderstand my words too far, the small misunderstanding is okay, but do not twist my words and at least try to understand what I was trying to say.

the reason why I gave up about trying to get people to listen,

about the dangerous of those who will pretend to be those who are discriminated because they feel different from the bio-sex they were born in,

is because those who read what I had wrote before kept missing the point and didn’t understand what I was trying to point out.

yes those who pretend to feel that way, will most likely hurt those who truly feel like they were born in the wrong body, but no matter how much I tried to my words only got twisted and misinterpreted.

if someone truly feels they don’t match the bio-sex they were born in originally,

then they should be free to be the gender identity they are on the inside.

and shouldn’t have to put up with those jerks who dare to pretend just so they can do something bad.....no matter if it’s a man or woman, it is possible to happen....and well the reason why I gave up on it, is because people kept misunderstanding and not getting what I was trying to point out.

it is possible that I’m not sure, it was the cause of a fight I had with someone before....yeah they unblocked me after we made up, but they refuse to tell me the cause of the fight so we could work it out.....and even said they would block me for good on here, if I keep asking.

well I let it get to me too much, and it didn’t help there was other stuff going on that was upsetting me before...but yeah I ended up with a second depression.

after I got fully better (and one of the signs was that how Boss Baby made me laugh.) I had figured out how messed up things were....and how things were solved wasn’t right.

I mean before that fight happen, I was having a bad time at home.

because of my older cousin and his well now ex-family...

at some point I ended up with a few months of depression.

I know before the move I tried to tell my Mom what I remembered from when I was little.......that my Older cousin forced a kiss on me, and of course she tells me he would never do that, which then made me believe that it was just a dream......a dream that was possibly a warning dream.

at least that was what I was believing......that it was just a warning dream.

if a Angel sends you a warning dream, there is some dream warnings

that should NOT be shown to a little kid....

even if I don’t remember much during that time....

it might of been a good thing I didn't figure out that my two older cousins were

not really good people, and the male one was more dangerous.

I did try to tell my Mom about what I had remembered from when I was little, which I can only hope didn't really happen and it was just a dream that was telling me he can't be trusted.

of course after he had "hurt" his step-daughter, she finally listened when I had talked about it again.

I can't help but think, if I was listen to.....maybe he wouldn't of end up hurting his step-daughter a few years later.

but what happen when I was really little, might of not been a dream at all.....

I know what I can remember, when it did happen....it gave me not good feelings, it's like being emotionally hurt.

and if I didn't tell my Mom or anyone else before,

it was possibly because I was too traumatized

and I gave myself as type of amnesia.

and I think I was suppose to remember it, but because I wasn't taken seriously

enough and the view on my older cousin was that

"He would never do that."

I was made to believe it was just a bad dream. but I'm starting to believe it wasn't a dream at all, even if I wish it to be so....wishing it was just a warning dream.

I mean it would be pretty messed up if a Angel let that kind of warning dream happen to a little girl.

that is just messed up,

and NO Angel should be allowed to cause such a warning dream.

just have a trusted family take the child by the hand in the dream and lead them away from the dangerous family one, while the trusted family says "stay away from them, they are dangerous." that works better than what I can remember.

maybe it really did happen and it wasn't just a warning dream, and my calling it just a dream is my way to deny that it really did happen.

I have my pendulum to thank for that, making me start to rethink about it as something that might not really been in a dream that was trying to warn me to stay away from him. but because it really did happen.....

I should try to talk to my family about it sometime.

I don’t think I can believe it was just a dream or warning dream anymore.

he didn’t even hurt his step-daughter yet at all, when I told my Mom what he did when I was really little....something that she convince me didn’t happen because he would “never do that” and that I must of been dreaming, or like it was a bad dream.

well if it was a bad dream, then how come a few years later

he ends up assaulting his own step-daughter, and he is in jail for it now and I hope he stays there for the rest of his life....to me even if we might still be biologically family........to me he stop being family the moment I started to realize I was right about him....

even if I can trust some of my family,

I know now that not all of them could be trusted.......

and I was clueless to it until now.

after finding out what he did, and me bringing up again about the whole “dream” that I had forgot about until now to my Mom again.

she now believes me, that it might be a warning dream.

but I don’t think I can believe it was a dream or a warning dream anymore.

that it really did happen and it was so traumatizing I had gave myself amnesia.

it is possible when we are little,

we need to protect ourselves by burying unpleasant memories.

even ones we never saw as harmful before until we remember them and started to realize certain actions were NOT normal.

I have to accept the fact that my first kiss,

was stolen and it wasn’t a happy one.

and after it did happen, it caused bad feelings....

I believe it might of started out when I expressed that I found boys gross.

I mean little boys and little girls will feel that way, that is normal.

what isn’t normal is being picked up and the forced kiss on the lips

and then being dropped and then the monster leaving....

and the bad feelings happen next......even if I remember only a little,

I think I might of cried...

I don’t think it was a coincidence of me remembering it.

I think I was suppose to remember it, and before my Older Cousin

had hurt his step-daughter, I had told my Mom about what he did to me.

from what I can remember.....but like I said, she told me he would never do that.

and even made me believe it was just a bad dream.....but a few years later,

he assaults one of his step-children....that is more than just a coincidence.

plus if he truly did force a kiss on me and him being way older than me,

he should of known better.

if I was listen to, maybe he wouldn’t of end up hurting anyone.

I don’t think I was around him very much after we had moved the first time to go live with my Grandpa.....which might of been good, it is possible if I became around the same age as his step-daughter (the age he hurt her.)

he might of end up doing the same thing to me.

I mean that is possible...

I’m gonna hope another thing I asked to my pendulum

(which the question was for Azrael.) didn’t really happen

and it was just negative energy hacking my pendulum and pranking me.

at least that is what I want to believe anyway.

but then I asked another Angel about it, and I got the same answer....

I mean my pendulum does pull pranks on me, but I’m not sure if what I asked with my thoughts, really did happen....

I guess the only way I can hope for a confirming,

is to pray that he confesses to it.

I mean one of the other things that I was praying for,

that was for my Mom’s sake. had finally came true in a way.

so maybe if I hope and pray that he confesses the really bad stuff he did in the past, he will get life.

I can just try to hope that one of the things that I am worried he did and I got a Yes reply from my pendulum about it, didn’t really happen.

I don’t want to say what it is, but I’m gonna hope he didn’t.

maybe I can just hope that some hypnosis is used on him and it gets him to admit some dark secrets....

I mean that toxic-religious girl and her video,

might be bad but she isn’t as bad as him....but she is still bad in a different way, but he takes a higher level place of being really bad.

anyway I’m gonna try to do stuff to make me happy, to try to make me feel be more better after the whole toxic-religious girl and the video she put on Youtube.

if I had tried to tell her my feelings, it is not likely she would listen.

she might even do the same thing another toxic-religious person did to me a few years ago, which no matter how many times I told that other person how bad they were making me feel, they just kept misusing those words at me and I had to block them because of it.

yeah I can say that I’m really mad at that girl for that video.

but I know I can’t make her listen to reason.

I have the video on pause right now, but I will try to watch it more after I do the things I want to do to help me feel a bit more happy and less unhappy.

I also want to say that I really hope another thing I asked my pendulum,

is just one of it’s pranks.....

I'm just gonna hope my pendulum is pulling a prank about me having been in

hell in one of my past lives because of some sicko cultist...

so no matter if that happen or not, I do still hope that ANY cultist who tries to pull that same crud, will have their hands feel like they are on fire even if there is no real fire on the said hands.

I mean even if it were possible that the one protected me was Stolas

(not the Helluva Boss character, that is not the one I mean.)

until Azrael came to retrieve me....

but even if I did ask that question with my thoughts while using my pendulum, and the question was for Azrael......

my pendulum could still be pulling a prank on me.

it does that at times, like when I got really worried about someone and thought something really bad happen, I asked my pendulum and well....

I think it was just feeding off my worries and pulled a prank, so I will need to do something about my pendulum later.

like trying to make it give a truthful answer and not a lie or prank answer.

I hate those sicko cultist with every part of my being, no matter if I was given a prank answer from my pendulum or if it is true...

if that had really happen to me in a past life....

I will not forgive those cultist, they don't deserve it.

but I'm gonna just hope that my pendulum is just pranking me about that.

I mean I asked or at least tried to, ask Azrael if Stolas is protective of me....

but my pendulum could still be pulling it's mean pranks on me.

the answer I got was "Yes" but my pendulum could still be pulling a prank on me....like I said many times, it tends to do that at times.

even if half the time it can be truthful.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who went through the whole

"Pendulum Pulls A Prank Me", I haven't really used a pendulum for very long.

it did freak me out when I did get it, and it started to move like crazy.

before I learned I can ask it stuff, I had learned to make it move by my thoughts.

and I guess I have learned to program it, on how to give replies to either Yes or No, or it being both Yes and No.

my pendulum pulls pranks on me when it doesn’t give out a truthful answer.

I’m use to it happening.

before I figured out I can ask it or ask through it, or learned I can make it move where I want it to by thought.

when I had first held it and it moved, it freaked me out and I didn’t have anything to do with it until some time later.

I even decided to check again about the whole in one of my past lives as a baby, I was used as a sacrifice by satanic cultist....

the question was for Azrael, and I got another Yes as a reply.

even if some people might think it is wrong to hope that those kind of sickos will have their hands feel like they are burning even when fire is not present.

but that is what I want to happen, even if their hands don’t really catch on fire,

it should made to feel that way....

ya know like when you forget to turn off the hot water first but when you turn off the cold water first, you end up burning your hands a little

because of the hot water.

if it isn’t a prank and if it really did happen, then I have a right to be mad at sickos like that just like I have a right not be happy with that toxic-religious girl.

I think it would make sense that Azrael, would have to go get baby souls

that had been used in such way....just for some sick and twisted ritual.

i know it isn’t just babies that go through that,

but no matter what age it still isn’t right.

I even got another Yes about it being Stolas protecting me before Azrael came to get me....once again, my pendulum pulls pranks on me.

and according to what I was asking, he didn’t come to get me right away.

and if it isn’t a prank and if it is true that Stolas kept me for a few years of that past life....that would mean that he acted as a adoptive parent and possibly protected me from other demons until it was time for Azrael

to come to retrieve me.

I mean I do find flowers pretty, and I do find space to be interesting.

but I don’t think my interest in it has anything to do with Stolas.

at least I don’t think so....I did get a Yes reply from my pendulum when I asked if Stolas acted like a adoptive parent to me and protecting me from other demons....

well I did find out that the one who I thought was my soul dad,

turns out to be well my soul grandpa, and my soul dad is well someone else.

even if some sicko humans do such a terrible thing,

and their victims end up going to Heck....

they don’t stay there long, because Azrael goes to rescue them.

it’s fine that not many believe that, I’m not gonna force others to believe it.

I mean like I said my pendulum pulls pranks on me.

but I’m willing to believe that Azrael does go down to that other realm

when they are send there through a ritual because of jerks.

even if it is true I already have a contract with Stolas,

but it is a adoption contract, where he became my adoptive father...

it could still possibly be my pendulum pulling a prank....

once again, NOT the Helluva Boss’s Stolas....

if it were true and not some prank, that would mean that Stolas is the adoptive father of a Earth Angel....

I still rather go to Earth-Heaven, to go live with the Goddess.

“Heaven” might not just appear as a infinity of sky and cloud,

there can also be what appears to be Earth, like trees and stuff.

not everyone has to believe that, and that’s fine.

I rather only talk about this kind of stuff once in a while.

and talk about fan theories of my favorite video games or cartoons or movies.

I don’t know when it will be, when we will try to test my blood again

to see what type I am...

I mean the last successful try, it came out as O RH D Negative.

my Mom is a RH Negative too...but even if it did turn out that way the first time for me, I wanted to make double sure and see if it will show the same result.

but this time I figured out I do much better doing the test,

by keeping my eyes closed the whole time.

well unless when I have to open them for a little bit.

I didn’t end up feeling warm or dizzy when I kept my eyes closed.

I’m not sure if I have a slight fear of blood, I mean it might be possible I might be but it might not be that....

I plan to eat a lot of food and drink something first,

before I start that home test again that tells you what blood type you are.

as well as keeping my eyes closed just in case

what I was feeling isn’t because I needed food.

if it comes up the same as last time, I know what some people say about that kind of blood type, which half of it could be just rumors.

I hope the next post I do on here, like in a few months....

it can just be talk about my favorite shows and ships.

I just want to hurry up and post this and just do some stuff to help me feel more happy after finding that video on youtube....

I can only hope that some of you checked out the link to the petition to save Owl House...

and I know for sure it is possible that me being a descendant

of Mary Magdalene, is just one of my pendulums pranks.

so I’m not gonna worry about that for now.

the best thing I can try to do is try not to let toxic-religious people

like that girl on youtube, get to me.

even if they get me really mad.

I do feel a little sleepy, but I think I should try to relax and try to get a bit more happy first before I go to sleep.

I am a bit more calm now after that girl peeved me off, so that is good.

I will just watch some cartoons and then later after I sleep,

I will do some meditation.

I would be surprised if this was read fully, without anyone misinterpreting any words that were said.

I will sign in later or tomorrow to check out some stuff on here,

I was able to check out a short comic about the owl house on here.

I will check out more on here later or tomorrow, ‘

but I’m not gonna post anything else until a few months.

this is a acceptation because of that girl on youtube made me mad enough to talk about it, as well as wanting to show the petition to all owl house fans.

I’m a fan of Owl House too, and I hope a lot of fans see that petition.

I hate that I grew up with Monsters, that I didn’t know were REAL monsters until I started to remember certain stuff from when I was really little.

I hope this will be the last post until a few months, like I had plan it to be.

I’m just gonna try to relax and hope that everything works out.

I will watch some episodes first before I go to sleep,

to help me relax and be in a more better mood.

it be nice if the whole the Aliens from Mass Effect being Real in Real Life,

wasn’t a prank....but my pendulum pulls pranks on me and no matter how many times I ask it keeps giving a Yes.

even got a Yes once again about the Krogan living on Mars in Real Life.

anyway I’m gonna go now, I will watch episodes of a show first

before I go to sleep.

so see ya later and stay safe everyone....

#save_the_owlhouse #toxic religious people #toxic youtubers #Mature warning #pendulum #truth or lies #talking about feelings

0 notes

capell0 · 7 years

Text

The Reason Why

A Tales of Zestiria fanfiction

Summary: Another day spent on their lively journey with their friends, Mikleo comes to realize that something is off, different. Trying to figure it out would be the next logical step, but are things really that simple? (SoreyMikleo)

Genre: Romance, Humour

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Zestiria or any of its characters. Tales of Zestiria belongs to Bandai Namco. All I own is the story as you see it written below.

A/N: Please shoot me... Regarding spoilers, anyone who´s been to Pendrago once should be safe enough to read this. Really, I don´t think there´s anything in here that could serve as a spoiler. I hope you enjoy reading!

The Reason Why

They had been travelling across the Pearloats Pasture for the better part of the day and the sun was slowly crawling towards the horizon, but whichever way they turned, the scenery hadn´t changed much. The group had passed countless wheat fields, walked up hills and treaded over fields of green grass, fighting hellions on occasion. But, although the Pasture was vast, it offered little shelter from the night winds or rain, so their quest of finding a place to camp any time soon got more and more difficult the further the day progressed. With no other choice, they would have to continue their marsh until they found somewhere proper to rest for the night.

Wandering for another hour, the blue of the day sky gradually turning deeper shades, Sorey and the others came across a pair of merchants transporting their goods on a wagon. Or at least that was what they tried to accomplish, had they not gotten stuck in a slope on the side of the road. Taking a closer look at it, Sorey and Rose offered to give them a hand and with some added effort, they were able to lift it back onto track. Gratefull for the help, the merchants asked them where they were headed and after Sorey explained their predicament, the merchants told them about a small traveler´s inn that was supposed to be a little ways ahead and offered to take them there on their wagon. At the prospect of getting to rest their weary feet and bones, they happily accepted.

And so it happened that Sorey and Rose found themselves sitting in between cargo bags and crates of boxes, enjoying the slow but restfull ride. “I´m sorry it´s so cramed back there but we received a pretty large order the other day. I hope there´s enough space for you two to sit somewhat comfortable”, Maggy called to them after they had finished introducing themselves. She sat in the front next to her partner, Leif, who was charged with maneuvring the horses.

“Oh please, don´t worry! This is plenty”, Rose chirped, more than satisfied to finally not be walking anymore. “Thank you for letting us hitch a ride in the first place.”

Laughing, Maggy waved a hand at the younger girl. “Don´t mention it. If it weren´t for you two we´d probably still be stuck in that slope!” In a much gruffer voice but playfull all the same, she added: “Thanks to a certain someone here.”

At that Leif turned to her with a grumpy expression. “Hey! Is it my fault the road´s in such bad shape? I´m not in charge of Rolance´s maintenance work I´ll have you know!”

Giggling in return at their antics, Rose leaned back against the bag behind her and stretched her arms leisurly as she let the two fellow merchants alone with their bickering. She yawned heartedly. “Guess Rolance´s lack of street work was right in our favour this time.”

“And just at the right time, too!”, Sorey nodded backing into the box behind him. “...Though I feel kinda bad for admitting that”, he added in a smaller voice.

“Ever the gentle Shepherd”, Rose sighed flatly.

“That´s the naive Shepherd for you, alright”, Edna stated inside Sorey´s head, which earned her a high pitched shriek and an angry retard from the red haired Squire.

“Uuuh, I told you not to do that anymore!”

“I think it would spare you a lot of trouble if you just got used to it”, Mikleo offered, appearing next to Sorey while he said so as to not scare her even more. Following his example, Lailah´s form materialized beside her a moment later.

“That would certainly be most opportune”, she agreed, but the small, forced looking grin on her face said it was something far easier said than done. Mikleo didn´t doubt that for a second.

“Can it!”, Rose yelled angrily. “What´s wrong with being scared of bodyless voices in your head?! Also it´s getting way too crowded in here”, she said and crouched back to make some space for the two seraphim to sit, anyways.

For someone who´s always so straight forward she sure is contradicting her words a lot, Mikleo thought with a smile, thinking it wiser not to mention that.

“You sure are contradicting sometimes”, Sorey commented a heartbeat later. Well, there went that theory.

Just as expected, it didn´t make Rose happy. “Like you´re one to talk”, she fumed. Continuing their arguement for a while longer, it soon died down as the conversation started being filled with more yawning than actual words. “I think this whole voices-in-my-head business got me more worn out than walking and fighting hellions all day...”

“For that you were arguing pretty energetically”, Sorey teased, before a yawn escaped him as well.

Rose crossed her arms in front of her chest and flopped back. “I was making a point, there´s nothing to argue about!”

Lailah laughed. “And quiiiite a point”, she said, imitating the red head´s manner of yawning half-way through.

Rose couldn´t help but break into a grin. “Whatever, this is it for me. I´m taking a nap until we get to that inn.” And with that, she closed her eyes and dozed off.

Sorey laughed warily at that. “That sure was fast...”

“Well, it does remind me of someone”, Mikleo commented not bothering to hide his grin.

“Looked in a mirror recently?”, Sorey countered, rasining an eyebrow.

“Checked that logic of yours recently?”

“Like–“

But before either of them could continue, Edna´s voice echoed in Sorey´s head, sounding profoundly annoyed. “If you two are the next to start an argument I will send the ground beneath us rumbling and trembling until it´s cured you both of your stupidity. Rest. Sleep. NOW.”

And without further ado, both of them were quiet.

“Edna-san...” Grinning sympathatically at the two boys, Lailah couldn´t help but laugh weakly. She cleared her throat. “I don´t quite agree with the wording”, she said, “but it is a good idea. Why don´t we all rest up while we have the chance?”

“...Guess sleep does sound like a good plan.” Obviously deciding not to argue and risk being at the mercy of Edna´s wrath, the brown haired youth sat back silently, resting his back against one of the larger wooden boxes. Either that, or he was just genuinly tired from the way he less leaned but slumped against the crate. Mikleo almost laughed at that.

“What about you, Mikleo-san?”, Lailah asked as she noticed he was still outside. It wasn´t necesarrily that he had to return into Sorey´s body to rest but he and the other seraphim had made a habit of it since it was the way that put the least burden on him. At night they´d all stay outside to sleep, anyways, although seeing as space was something of an issue at the moment, the latter was probably not very ideal.

“I think I´ll stay outside just a little bit longer”, he aswered regardless. A little longer wouldn´t make the difference. When he saw the critique in her eyes, very possibly fearing the two boys would start another argument after all, he motioned for her to look to his side. Following his gaze, Lailah looked relieved as she found Sorey with his eyes closed and fast asleep.

When her mind was put at ease at last, she gave a long yawn herself. Not having to worry about being toppled out of the wagon during one´s sleep took the edge off, after all. “Alright. If something comes up, do not hesitate to wake us”, she said, lowering the sleeve she used to cover her yawn with. Lailah´s form desintegrated into a small ball of light, floating back into Sorey´s body.

And with that, he was left alone.

Relaxing against the boxes behind them, he looked outside the wagon and watched the scenery go by. It had been some time since they´d passed through anywhere this peacfully, not to mention that since they usually had to walk everywhere, merely sitting here and getting to observe the shining green grass sway in the winds and still progress onwards, Mikleo thought it was a moment he should enjoy while he could. The water seraph grinned when he thought of how Sorey would agrue that he and Rose were actually the only ones who had no other choice but to walk since everyone else could simply seek refuge in him if they got tired of it. Well, that is true, Mikleo mused, grin broadening. Though Mikleo didn´t think Sorey even really minded that. Long as they didn´t rub it in his face every opportuninty they got.

After some time his gaze drifted upward to watch the blue sky above, nostalgia washing over him for a moment. Its blue was radiant with barely a cloud to be seen. Much like in Elysia. It was in moments like this in which Mikleo realized just how much it reminded him of home. Often a time, when they took a break on the road or stopped somewhere for the night, Mikleo would sit there and look up into it, becoming lost to his thoughts and the world around him. It was strange, but even so far away from the village they grew up in, so far that it almost seemed like another world completely, the sky was still shining in the same bright blue on a sunny day, the same bright stars glowed down on them at night and became covered by the same cold grey when it rained. Looking up into it, even if only for a moment, it felt to Mikleo like he and Sorey were still home and never left, exploring ruins and managing their daily lives together with their family. As if nothing at all had changed.

And yet, so much had changed.

There was no denying that ever since he and Sorey embarked on their journey, things had gotten... a little out of hand. They had set foot into the world outside Gramps´ domain and with that into a world where most people couldn´t see or hear seraphim, something they were so used to being a given, despite being the told the opposite numerous times. But after travelling for this long, they had come to know it as a world filled with people as colourfull in character, personallity and desires as the seasons, mysteries that had yet to be unravelled and with a lot of its history yet unknown, even to the two of them. Mikleo didn´t think it was too much to call it a world of tales both tragic and wonderous. And somehow they had ended up in the fight deciding its very future. He sighed at that, shooting a glance at the certain someone responsible– alright, mostly responsible to be fair. So looking up into a sky that looked the same no matter where their travels turned them, was somehow reassuring. To him it was like a reminder that, however dark and uncertain the way before them, somewhere it was still light. And that there were some things that never changed, no matter the circumstances.

Like this guy always mumbling in his sleep, Mikleo thought with a sigh when he heard Sorey´s voice sound next to him. More than the sky or the ever reoccuring seasons, Mikleo thought it was Sorey who changed even less. Be it his love for ruins or his inability to tell a lie even if it were to save his life, his childhood friend had kept to all those quirks and notions he–

Mikleo frowned. Well, the way he tended to mumble stuff in his sleep that not even he could tell what it was supposed to mean, how he got lost in his thoughts whenever he came up against a wall, the ferventy with which he believed in their dream of finding a way together for humans and seraphim to live alongside each other, all that hadn´t changed one bit. And his thickheadedness still stood unrivaled. A light laugh escaped Mikleo. Well, maybe not so unrivaled anymore. He was pretty sure Rose came in at least close second to his childhood friend.

“Like you´re any better!” ...and he was pretty sure that would be Sorey´s answer if he ever were to tell him how he thought about it. The seraph couldn´t help but laugh again. No matter how chaotic and weird things had gotten, he could at least say it was never dull. Even if he had to admit their lives had changed a lot in this short amount of time, Mikleo was glad he was able to say that despite the many trials they faced on their travels, they were never alone; and he and Sorey remained the same people in their hearts. Be it exploring ruins or what was weighning down on his mind, thanks to growing up together, Mikleo was usually able to tell what was going on in Sorey´s head as if reading a well studied history tome. But, if truth be told, the knowledge that it worked the other way around, too, did annoy him to a certain extend. Though he´d bite his tounge before admitting that in front of Sorey. The other had enough ammunition to tease him with already and he was not about to help him gain more on him, thank you very much. Especially when–

He was startled out of his musing when the wagon was lifted a good distance into the air with a sudden surge. It came crashing back down onto the ground a moment later with a loud rattle. Mikleo jumped in his place, alarmed, his eyes darting around as he tried to spot the source of what just happened. He couldn´t find anything that would have served as an explanation at first, but when the wagon moved along a couple of meters, Mikleo´s sight caught on an unusually large rock just by the side of the road. For a moment he thought it might have been Edna´s doing but had to withdraw his accusation as he noticed it had not been created by a seraphic arte. It seemed Leif had thought the rock safe enough to drive over and not anticipated to be rattled through by the shock.

Man, no wonder they got stuck in that slope before, Mikleo thought grumpily.

He heared a soft murmur. Turning his attention to the girl in front of him, Mikleo had actually expected Rose to be awake, her daggers drawn in an instant at the sudden ruckus, but the usually so stealthy and ready to act assassin was still cold out, a goofy and content smile on her lips. The young water seraph had the urge to face palm but his feelings on this were just too mixed to make up his mind. Was she just so out of it that she didn´t notice or could it be that–

Before he got around to finishing his thought, he was interrupted as his ears picked up on a small, almost inaudible thud next to him, followed by the feeling of a heavy weight pressing into his side. Mikleo turned his head to look down his right shoulder, already fairly certain what awaited him.

And sure enough. Although he hadn´t woken up from the commotion either, Sorey´s body had tilted to the side and, balance lost, dropped onto him, his head bumping against the seraph´s shoulder. Since they were little they stayed up late reading book after book until they literarily dropped asleep, be it at home or in the ruins they wandered around in. Even now, it wasn´t like they were walking around carrying blankets and pillows, so they made due with what they had. So it wasn´t like this was the first time he had fallen asleep leaning on him like that. His childhood friend simply happened to be a klutz like that. And just like all those times before, all he had to do to fix it was reach over and put his friend into a proper sitting position. If Maggy or Leif were to turn around now, they´d see Sorey sleep in a pretty... odd position, after all. And at first, it had been Mikleo´s intention to do just that.

At first. Yet, here he was merely sitting there, frozen in place. It was like all noise around him had suddenly ceased existens as he watched his friend´s shoulders rise and fall with even breaths.

It wasn´t like he minded, really. Just, lately, things that used to be so natural to him until now, seemed... different somehow, outlandish even, and he couldn´t even tell why. He didn´t remember when he first noticed, but Mikleo was aware of something being off for quite some time now. Even though they were the same age, Mikleo had grown up to be the more composed and rational of the pair, so it frustrated him all the more when he couldn´t figure out how it had come to this. In the past, if there was a riddle that needed solving, he could think it through, no matter how long it took. He could search for the answers in books and scrolls who were always ready to help with their insights. But usually, two heads were better than one, so unless they had a competition going, he had Sorey to talk to about a solution. This time, though, he was utterly on his own with a problem he had no clue how to go about.

Mikleo was no fool. He knew full well that life meant change, and change was mostly inevitable. But, somehow, Mikleo had believed that the friendship between him and Sorey was one of those few, rare exceptions. Had he been in a different state of mind, he might´ve had the spare thought to feel embarrased at his naivity. Mikleo was a very observant person, so knowing Sorey like the back of his hand the water seraph found himself puzzled at all the small, really trivial things he came to realize, as if they´d shown themselves but a little while ago. For instance, how many of Sorey´s habits Mikleo was so used to suddenly seemed so familiar yet managed to catch him off guard even though he´d anticipated them all along. Be it when they were walking through ruins theorizing, a town to gather information or just sit somewhere reading a book, they were all situations that had occurred time and again on their travels together but for some reason, Mikleo couldn´t help but feel like there was something different about it, about them, although things should mostly have stayed the same. It was the small things that happened along the way that had him wondering. Take for instance his predicament at hand. He had no way of telling how many times he´d merely reached over in the past when Sorey´d slumped onto him and just pushed him to the other side, there was nothing much to think about. But now, he´d come to find himself hesitating to even reach out his hand and pat the other on the back at times.

In the beginning Mikleo thought it was simply his mind playing tricks on him and tried to shake it off. Sorey hadn´t shown any sign of noticing anything being different between them either, so he hadn´t paid much heed to those little discoveries and left them as they were. However, among all those trivialities, there was the one change Mikleo had not been able to deal with quite as efficiently.

He closed his eyes for a second, letting out a deep sigh, breath rustling trough Sorey´s hair as he tried to will all those unwanted thoughts and emotions that swarmed his mind back into submission. The pounding of his racing heart was more than enough to deal with.

His face heated up as if he had gotten too close to one of Lailah´s fire artes when he noticed how he´d been staring down at Sorey without intending to. But he didn´t turn away. Contrary to Sorey, he was easier to pick up on such things but never in his wildest dreams would he have thought that of all things he would fall in love with Sorey. No matter how many times he mulled over it or tried to find a different explanation, it was always the same conclussion Mikleo came to in the end.

He crossed his arms with a heavy sigh. He made sure he didn´t move too much so he wouldn´t accidentally wake the other now. Sometimes Mikleo was gratefull of how oblivious Sorey could be. Because, although Mikleo– dispite his efforts– had had a hunch about what it was that changed for far longer than he ever cared to admit, the young seraph didn´t have any intention to share it with the other. Mikleo had long since decided to stay ignorant to his own feelings and was of no mind to reconsider now.

Say if he told Sorey how he felt – given he´d be lucky enough to manage up the courage and find a good moment to do so – what would happen to them? All their lives, he and Sorey had been best friends and rival scholars. They were always together since they were little kids; it didn´t matter if it was going out to hunt with the others in the boars woods, exploring the Mt. Mabinogio ruins or reading books in gramps´ library; they were inseperable.

But if Sorey knew he thought of him as more than a friend and family, would Sorey accept it? Could he? Would he be angry at him for suddenly feeling this way? Would he be too shocked to give him a proper answer? He knew Sorey was too kind hearted to ever hold something like this against him but he also knew Sorey would beat himself up if Mikleo should end up hurt over it. To Mikleo, his friendship with Sorey was too important to risk because he didn´t give things enough thought. But most of all, he didn´t want to hurt Sorey.

Another possibility kept bugging Mikleo. If he only thought Sorey was oblivious and yet, the other knew how he felt all along and simply decided not to say anything for the same reasons? They could usually tell when something was bugging the other, so the idea wasn´t far fetched... And yet so unlikely. Mikleo almost snorted at the idea. Now that was his brain grasping for straws to reason with itself. If the other knew about it Mikleo would have noticed long ago. Compared to him, Sorey had a hard time keeping things a secret.

But that didn´t change the situation. Although Mikleo had tried his best, he was barely able to stay unconcious to this feeling much longer.

His mind was finally eased a little after thinking more and more about the same things he´d been worrying over for weeks now. He noticed how his fingertips had started digging into his arms. Looking down at them, he released them from his iron grip and rested them lightly atop each other now. He´d thought about this so many times now that he had no idea what to think anymore. But continuously listing all his worries had so far been the only way to keep him from talking to Sorey. He knew no amount of pondering the same things would change that he was still hung up on them. It would only draw out the inevitable that much longer. Now they fought and travelled alongside their friends day after day, trying to struggle against odds they couldn´t have imagined before in their wildest dreams, but here they were.

“But here we are...”, he mumbled to himself. Not entirely sure if he should, he looked back down at Sorey anyways. Eyes firmly shut, he still showed no intention of waking up. Though, he didn´t mind. A break was rare enough to come by and like this, he could at least avoid Sorey seeing him red faced like that. Like this, he could look at him sleep and did not need to be cautious to make sure his true feelings wouldn´t show. There was no need to fight his blush or the small smile tugging at his lips. Now, there was something he´d really rather avoid having to explain. Relaxing against the weight against his, Mikleo closed his eyes, feeling at ease at last. So what if the two merchants turned around and found Sorey sleeping in an odd position? Seraphim existed. He was living proof of that and they might as well start acknowledging it.

A yawn finally escaped him and suddenly there was a new thought that started to form in his mind. For now they were fighting and struggling alongside their friends and each other. But maybe one day, when they found their answer and the battles ahead were fought, Mikleo might reconsider. Perhaps when all this was over, he could see past the worries and fears and be honest with Sorey and tell him how he felt. But that was for him to think of another day. For the time being, he´d listen to the soft rattling of the carriage, the whispers of a warm breeze, the even breaths next to him and the pounding of his heart lulling him to sleep.

A/N: First off, thank you to everyone who has read this story to its end! It means a lot to me. And I so hope I was in character enough. Then some, I guess, editorial (?) notes. I know, some might have been confused why I had Lailah add -san to everyone´s name. I played the game in Japanese and hence I´m just used to it; also, seeing as she´s always so formal it felt right and translating it into the equivalent of “Mister”, “Misses” felt odd as well not adding it alltogether. As too why I worte in the beginning “Please shoot me...”. Well, first off all, I actually try not to ship Sorey and Mikleo. So this is actually one out of the only two stories I ever plan on writing about them in a romantic setting. Call me a hypocrite if you want but I actually like their dynamic as is. Last but not least, I think I owe a massive apology to everyone who´s played through the game. (Or maybe I´m overthinking?) I´m so sorry! Again, that´s why “Please shoot me...”, too. Alright, that was enough babbling from me! I hope you guys enjoyed reading and if you have any critique or thoughts on this or my writing in general, point out mistakes, feel free to tell me. Much appreciated! Capell0

#Tales of Zestiria #Fanfiction #Tales of Zestiria Fanfiction #Sorey #Mikleo #SoreyMikleo #SoreyxMikleo

2 notes · View notes

kimnamjelly-blog · 7 years

Text

Thicker Than the Water of the Womb

Write a self para about your character of at least 1800 {total is 2684} words about their love life and/or their wished for love life. {a day late but i’m not trying to qualify so eh}

Peaches irreparably reminded him of Ares—from that first day he spoke to him, the first time he dipped down to touch lips and tasted traces of homemade peach ice cream left from it, falling asleep during his lessons under the peach trees... There was a tendency for the three of them to compare Ares to an angel. In some ways it was a joke, because no people knew better than them what Ares could be like, but it was also hopelessly genuine. Peaches and angelic smiles. That full-body laughter that made Namjoon’s heart ache like it’s too small to hold so much warmth. Those looks Ares gave him sometimes, like he was the whole world in some ways, and Namjoon was sure, absolutely sure, that he would die for him. Maybe die because of him.

Jazz was a king, the gentlest man, the youngest, silently still, soft stars. He was more than skin and scars and tattoos could contain. Meeting him was a fluke, and inarguably a brilliant blip in time. Those deviations persisted until he could feel harmonies singing under his blood. Jazz was his strength in ways he could never imagine, given that he saw him a few days a week past midnight like the universe’s most beautiful, captured dream. He imagined his fingers interlocked with his when he hadn’t quite learned for himself what steady hands were, and Jazz’s were the steadiest. There were fences he didn’t realize he could climb until Jazz was on the other side, asking him whether he had the strength to come along. He did, he found out, and wanted that love that didn’t leave him gripping the edge of the sink and sobbing. That love that was tucked into the soft smile Jazz got, that forgave him for things Namjoon hadn’t even gotten to yet, that asked him questions and sought answers he hadn’t realized were worth giving. Where Ares was still yet an unreachable seraphim, Jazz was tangible and more than enough. More than enough to realize his perspective on support and smiles was completely wrong. Love wasn’t a fluke like first meetings could be, it wasn’t an act of providence, it wasn’t just in passerby or just the local angel. It was close by and steady as a rock, even when its cracks showed.

There were laws in order that suggested when paths intertwined too many times without meaning, the world would conspire to make them meet. Burned cheeks under layers and layers of sunscreen, hands awash in painted rainbows like a gay pride parade, and the distinct memory of laughter caught under his tongue and an earnestness to know. There was a humor to Hazel that was aglow in the boniness of his arms, defiance and strength met head-on that had seen things Namjoon simply hadn’t yet. In so many ways, Namjoon yearned to be loved. He asked it of Hazel, and somewhere, somehow, he’d given it over because he was gentler than Jazz and sweeter than Ares under his bruised, grumbling eyes. He could have met him amongst honey bees, or under Jongup’s steady hands and ink, but he met him alone, surrounded by sunlight and brick and an almost-toppled glass of water. For a time, he was most afraid of failing him, of being less than Hazel had imagined him to be—especially when he had a moat, a cave, a whole decrepit childhood castle of worthlessness and injury—but somewhere, somehow, he realized he’d failed to see Hazel as so, so, so human. And that’s when he fell in love, sitting at the apartment table across the room and doing nothing. Nothing of import.

They’d snuck into his heart like he’d never had walls there in the first place, and he was pretty sure he’d let them. If there had been a fight, they bore no bruises. No stretch marks (no, he’d been to slow for that). Just him trying to remember when, exactly, he’d given them the key to the front gate one by one, and how they managed to see him broken and bleeding and bruised and sobbing and still wanted him.

Calling it a miracle wouldn’t do them justice.

Eventually, they’d find and ask about the journal he’d forgotten about, with entries so old his handwriting was not only chicken scratch but almost completely illegible. But they wouldn’t know about its companion for some time, and Namjoon kind of preferred it that way. It wasn’t that it was filled with horrors and nightmares. It was, in fact, the first’s exact opposite. Writing out all the bad things to make sense of them was nice in theory, but once the pages started being filled deep into the latter half of a hundred, the negativity was overwhelming. So he’d been given a second journal where the first twenty-three pages were in smudged lilac pen and the rest would make do in varying shades of purple. Most of the lilac pages were crowded with Kijung, sometimes Kitae or Jiha, and he’d memorized the pages where his parents had made it in so he never had to read them until he was ready.

But around when the magenta fountain pen had started being used, and what was Korean turned into shaky English, there were mentions of Ares. Right when the violet pen started running out came Jazz, and with the pinky-lavender was Hazel. He had a vague idea of what he was doing when he wrote about them, harboring a suspicion that if he looked back on these things he’d want to hide this journal both from himself and somewhere deep where no else one could find it either.

So he usually wrote with as much maturity as he could muster for the sake of whatever future self decided to self-inflict embarrassment, but still things like, “He’s so cute I’m going to vomit” made it in there. Luckily, given most contexts, he couldn’t really blame himself. It was still relatable and applicable and probably always would be.

2011/8/8

Didn’t mean to not write for so long. Hyunja locked me out of our room. The roof is better than sleeping next to him, anyway. There are some really bright stars even with all the street lamps on. Maybe I can sneak out to visit the library? To look up constellation names or something. Kinda need sleep, though, and the shingles aren’t exactly God’s best mattress. Work was gross today (temperature was in the high thirties and I wanted to peel my skin off), but the peaches are really pretty. They get this kinda reddish color. I expected them to be lighter for some reason. More pinkish. I met Park Jimin yesterday. He’s younger than me, I think? I was really embarrassing, but he made me smile. Some guy was being dumb and Jimin-ah punched him. I’d let him punch me, too. If he wanted. Forcing me to take credit for the peaches he picked was as close as I’ll get, though, probably. Equally as humbling. I was kind of thinking of his ears the whole time because I said some stupid things (I didn’t really expect him to speak Korean, actually, which I guess was pretty stupid of me) but he also has nice ears. If he blushes they go more pink than the peaches. The whole of him is really nice though. And I mean whole. He punched someone but I would have, too, if I were him, and he’s really nice. About as nice as his parents, so I guess it runs in families, huh? Gotta wonder about me, then. But if Jimin-ah liked me okay, I must be nice enough, too. (Consensus: “nice” is the word of the day) Remember when I said I thought maybe I could be gay? He was really cute. I wonder if he’s okay being called that? It’s probably not better to call him pretty, but. Yeah. It’ll be nice to have someone to talk to if I see him again.

2011/8/9

On a scale of petty, where would I lie for locking Hyunja out of our room? Just hypothetically, really. I don’t feel like getting scalped today. Or ever. Update: Jimin-ah’s laugh just about killed me today. He still hasn’t punched me, but I’m waiting. It’s an open (unspoken) invitation. For the record, he did laugh that first day but I was kinda distracted by how embarrassed I was to be me. Existence is a real struggle. I’m fully prepared for this crush. But he’s not too distracting, which is nice. I mean, he’s distracting if he can be distracting, but I’m still getting plenty of work done. Accidentally broke some shit today and was ignored, which is better than literally any realistic alternative.

[...]

2011/9/3

Hey, America? English sucks. Kim Namjoon Kim Namjoon Kim Namjoon Kim Namjoon Park Jimin Park Jimin Park Jimin. He has good p a handriting. That looks wrong. I didn’t He’s really, really nice. I think noona would have liked him? I miss It was cooler out today because it rained last night. Grass grows really fast. There’s already some green everywhere, so I hope it rains again (even if I can’t go out at night). I miss the flowers.

[...]

2011/12/20

Somehow no one has noticed I d have my ears pierced. It has been more than two weeks. Eiht Eighteen days. They said six to eight weeks, so I will listen to them. My ears feel okay, though. It will be worth the money to buy earrings. Small circles? Hoops. If Hyunja sees them, I think he will rip them out, but I have been sleeping out on the roof again. I forgot the word, sorry. I was right. Jimin looks nice. I do not know how to describe him. Not in English, but I promised I would practice. Verb tenses are worst. Writing this has taken a long time. He looks at me sometimes and I do not think it. I freeze up and want to cry kind of. I have to leave this job soon, though, and I do not want to. I will miss the peaches. Jimin goes to the same high school as me. I will not miss him as much. Because of him I am far in my English classes even though it is not my language, but it still takes time to read assignments. I do not have a lot of time. The CHSPE does not need good grades before though. I will do my best.

[...]

10/21/2012

I still think America writes their dates... stupidly. I just took the CHSPE and I’m sending Jimin kisses for all he’s done for me (like I’ll ever kiss him aha). And my English teachers, of course. The test didn’t go so bad, but it’s hard to tell until we get the results back. I have to wait for those and pretend like someone’s not going to have my hide if I end up failing. The math was easiest, but I feel an okay sort of confident. It still sucks not having any classes with Jimin, but I never have. Also, Halloween still makes me laugh. If Hyunja goes to answer the door this year I’ll hit him with a frying pan. He can keep his gross hands off of the children dressed like Darth Vader and stuff. They’re so little every year oh my god. I mean I have my nieces and nephews but it’s different. Plus mine don’t dress up like Snow White, you know?

[...]

2/28/2013

okay okay okay okay I’m so gay it hurts. I’m okay.

So I met someone on one of my midnight things. It was the frozens section and I was embarrassing as usual but oh my god he had the cutest smile and I’m still hurting. His name is Moon Jongup, which I’m writing down so I don’t make a fool of myself when I see him again. I had to show him something so I asked him to find me on the street off of where I went when I was avoiding the dead body in our room. Which is morbid I guess but the place is really pretty, and it’s not like I’m going to tell him why I went there? I hope he likes it. It’s far enough from home that we should be okay. I wasn’t really thinking when I asked and now I’m really nervous. But what’s done is done and I’ll meet him. Bring a book, maybe, just in case he doesn’t show up. Which would make sense. I’m reading a really good book right now. I’ve been reading it for ages, though, so it’ll be nice to have an excuse to maybe get past chapter seven. I haven’t seen Jimin a lot lately, but sometimes he’ll drag me to sit with him at lunch if he finds me cleaning. Someone should tell him he’s beautiful since I’m in too deep to properly do it. He might hear it all the time, actually, but telling someone their appearance is beautiful is different than telling someone their personality is beautiful, you know? I’m usually really tired by lunchtime because I don’t know what sleep means, but he brightens my day if he’s there.

3/3/2013

So I had another gay awakening with Jongup, right? But that’s kind of whatever, because he’s just really easy to talk to. And that’s better than any gay awakening. We have to keep agreeing to meet each other because he doesn’t have a phone (he’s younger than me, which like wow. Where does he get off looking like that at 15? That feels really young, by the way, but only when I realize I’m 16, which still doesn’t feel real). He told me about constellations. We didn’t end up waiting for sunrise because the sky was cloudless and those sunrises are kind of boring, but it was a really nice night to look at the stars, and he seems really passionate about those. It suits his family name really well. Also, he has a few tattoos already and I know not to ask about them, but he’s kind of amazing. For making decisions like that already, and they’re really good looking. They’re just these small details, and I obviously can’t know if the ones I’ve seen are all he has visible because it’s cold as balls at night still and long sleeves are a survival measure, but yeah. They look good on him.

[...]

8/19/2014

I told Jongup about the artist who’s painting the side of the restaurant, and even if I didn’t make the artist laugh, I made Jongup laugh. So I’ll settle. Which yeah by the way, there’s an artist painting the side of the restaurant. Because I think there was some miscommunication about lunch, I ended up giving him some of mine. I don’t know the details, but it was super gross outside, so I figured he’d want something. Water and stuff. His art is really beautiful. He was painting this lily when I went out to talk to him first and... I guess I wouldn’t peg him as someone who paints flowers, but it’s really beautiful so far. I can’t wait to see it finished. Also, I hope he doesn’t get heatstroke. If I had a standup umbrella or something I’d bring it for him. Think I can make him smile? It’s gonna be a feat when it looks like he’s been running on two hours of sleep and has been sitting out in the sun for hours on end, but I kind of want to see it.

[...]

13/19/2014

GUESS WHO MADE HIM SMILE. It took fucking forever and he’s just about done with his mural but hey guess what. It’s really cute. Turns out grumpy artists paint the best flowers and have the best smiles. I gotta go but I had to make that announcement at least. Bye!

#self:past #namjoon:self #yankee:wildmustard #yankee:witchhazel #yankee:verbena

1 note · View note

seenashwrite · 7 years

Text

The Midwife: Part Two

Status: Complete (Part 2 of 4) Word Count: 2.4K Category: Mini-series; Behind-the-scenes canon compliant; Mystery; Historical; Teamwork; On-the-hunt Rating: Teen & Up Character(s): Various O.C.s; References to familiar people/places Pairing(s): N/A Warnings: None Author’s Note: post-story Overall Summary: In the mid-1950s, a member of the New York City chapter of the Men of Letters is sent to the United Kingdom to assist with what appears to be another stack of cold case dead-ends, when he suddenly finds himself questioning one of his closest-held convictions.

*~* The Midwife : Master Post *~*

She was already sipping and though the sugar cubes in my teacup had long dissolved, I was still watching the dark orange liquid swirl around my spoon. The soft clink of her cup coming to rest on its saucer prompted me to stop. I cleared my throat to try and clear my head, setting the spoon aside, then raising my eyes.

"Try it,” she said. “Make sure you like it. We'll whip up a different kind if not."

"I'm sure it will be fine." I lifted my cup and drank to prove it to her, forced a small smile as I swallowed. I was a coffee person. I was not going to let my hostess know.

"I thought I'd begin with imparting information. You and your colleague have gotten many things..."

"Wrong?"

"Twisted."

"Ah."

"The professor is not elusive due to assistance by a coven. Not by what I'd call magic."

"What would you call it?"

She rotated the teacup slowly between her hands, eyes not leaving mine as she replied. “I would call it ingenuity.”

"And her daughter?"

"The girl is long dead. The completely ordinary girl. Your second incorrect assumption."

"But Sunder had been with angels, we---"

"I cannot speak to the professor's personal life. I can only say she was in the company of a Seraphim before she left."

"But how can you be certain that they weren't.... weren't involved for longer, that perhaps---"

The borderline glare cut me off well before the cold tone. “This is your concern - knowing if they were involved?” She uttered a short tsk, gave me a slow shake of the head as she once more lifted her teacup, but she paused to say one last thing before drinking.

“Humans find such fascinating ways to waste their time.”

EARLIER THAT DAY

There were only two stops for our assignment. We came away from Dartmoor with nothing but ruined suit pants and shoes. Burt was annoyingly optimistic the entire time, while I was beginning to feel something akin to despair.

“Chin up!"

“Shut up.”

Our conversations had definitely devolved.

The present locale was more of a straight shot back to London, so that was something positive, likely getting us back expediently once we were done. However, the area of our forthcoming search was larger than that at Dartmoor. Much larger.

A handful of local teenagers there were easily paid off - and they sold themselves short, should've charged a higher fee - to get us going in the right direction. They'd been monkeying around out in the moors since they were children, to their parents' chagrin, I'm sure.

Here, in Sedgemoor, it was another story - we weren't going to be getting much assistance in terms of a guide. The locals were beyond wary to speak with us, and I was thankful more than ever for Burt's ability to slip into a full accent and conversational slang because I didn't know how much more of a wild goose chase through peaty sludge I could stand. Had I been alone, their standoffishness would've resulted in a reaction from me that could've cost me my career. Quagmire, while apt, didn't quite cover it.

A few willing - slightly drunken - souls at the inn's pub gave us options for ideal places to kick off our trek. We were smarter now, replacing our typical garb with sensible slacks and boots, though Burt had adopted a more safari look than my own, complete with khaki Bermuda shorts and a hat that would’ve made Hemingway proud. The bright white knee socks made me cringe.

I'd taken on the Sherpa role and my own personal, upright yak was bearing the burden of a large backpack filled with our testing gear and water and emergency supplies. It was good for him, he needed the physical exercise. As for mental exercise, I dearly wished for a scaling-back; he'd already started in on a new notebook back in Dartmoor, jotting almost constantly now, page after page filled with thoughts I didn't have the heart to discourage.

My partner-in-chaos had somehow convinced himself Nephilim were hiding in the moors.

We'd gotten off the train and to the inn later than I'd have liked the night prior, and despite downing four pints of stout brew while Burt worked his charms, I'd tossed and turned the entirety of the few hours we'd had to rest. Burt talked almost the entire time on the train, talked the ears off the people in the pub, talked in his sleep. And he showed no signs of stopping.

“Think about it, Jacky - we don't know how angels communicate, or if they can recognize each other on sight, at least, down here,” Burt was saying as we slogged along, mid-afternoon now, having set out at just past the crack of dawn.

I kept quiet. Down here. As if heavenly residents were above us.

“Can they possess any ol' body, like demons? Do they monitor the ones on earth somehow, with some sort of---"

"Concentrate," I interrupted him, extending a hand out to help get him over one of the less death-defying portions of a rhyne.

Once he was across and distracted with catching his breath, I pulled out the compass to check how we were faring.

"Not much further," I told him. "Ready?"

"Because what I keep going back to, is - are they keeping track of Nephilim? Are they even aware of exactly how many there are?" Burt went on, not acknowledging me.

I sighed as I put the compass back in my pocket, then kept walking, my pace keeping me several yards in front of him.

"You'd think so, you'd think they'd want to keep those powers under control. Wouldn't you? Jack? Wouldn't you think?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. The headache coming on was long overdue. I was desperately trying to keep my tone in check. "You mean God? That's what you mean, specifically - God himself or angels acting upon his orders, right?"

"Right."

"Then Burt, if I were God or a mighty archangel, and my minions were procreating against my wishes, no - I would not be keeping some sort of school attendance or sporting roster. I would snap my fingers and blow the disobedient to bits, but not before I did the same with their offspring."

I was scanning the moderate upwards slope we were coming upon that was absolutely blanketed in thick fog, wondering how our small flashlights were supposed to help us navigate through it, when I noticed the absence of sucking and sloshing behind me. I stopped and turned. Burt was standing stock still - and sinking slightly - staring at me with a dropped jaw. Then he made the sign of the cross, who could guess why, causing me to roll my eyes and huff.

"They would be God's children as much as the angels," Burt said softly.

Now my jaw dropped. "Did we read the same Old Testament growing up? I know you're a good Catholic boy and I was raised as Protestant as it gets, but I'm pretty sure the both of us, and a slew of other faiths, are square with the idea that God is vengeful---"

"Can be vengeful---"

"---no, he IS vengeful, and he doesn't tolerate disobedience. Not from any of us, angels included, or are you also forgetting the Morning Star's boot in the ass?"

We stared at each other for more than a few heavy moments, the only sound a fierce, whipping spurt of wind.

"They would be considered abominations," I finally said. "Pick a sacred text. Hell, it's even what the Apocrypha says. It's what our experts say. Why are you acting like it's the first time you... Damn it, Burt!"

"Those translations are debated!"

"You know, you're right - maybe they are just giants. Hey, think the Moles consider this drowned mess a leftover from the mother of all floods? We'll play archaeologists, carry back some oak-sized bones on the plane? No, wait - maybe we should be looking for a beanstalk!"

Burt frowned. "What if they're just fallen? What if they just need... deserve... some grace?"

"Do you not understand the concept of 'abomination'?"

"That's not what Sunder concluded."

"And what the hell do you know about Sunder? What do I really know about Sunder? She destroyed most of her work when she ran off---"

"Now who's throwing out wild theories?"

"It's not wild, it was in the original case reports---"

"So now we're trusting the Moles when they're saying nothing beyond what we saw was recovered, Jack? The very ones that were trying to force her into joining up? Threatening her daughter if she didn't?"

I narrowed my eyes. "They're real pieces of work, you know I'd be the first to say it. But there was nothing in the things we've seen that showed they were anything other than a bunch of chafed asses after a woman - who, by the way, was ten times smarter than their best lore gurus - had the gall to reject their precious invitation."

Minutes passed as Burt seemed to be involved in an internal debate with himself regarding what he was about to say in response.

"Have something to share?" I snapped.

"I know they did it because I asked Father... and two of Mother's older brothers."

I was floored. That Burt had asked, and that they had apparently given him answers, was a hefty breach of our protocols. Mixing family and Men of Letters business - even in legacies, even regarding business long gone stale - was a serious violation. For more than just him.

Burt could have been banned, any other active members of his family banned, and any living retirees would face a lengthy investigation, the punishment for any guilt unearthed, well... I chose not to think on it long. Instead I turned away and kept trudging towards the slope.

"They weren't directly involved," Burt said, and I heard him trying to pick up his pace to catch up with me. "But they saw things, heard others talking. And I believe them."

"You believe rumors."

He was undeterred. And he spilled his guts, every drop of what his family had relayed. How the Moles assigned to recruit Sunder took advantage of the fact that she'd been widowed. How they wanted to make her believe they could have her daughter taken away. That the Men of Letters were influential enough to make authorities think she was more than just an academic, that her recent work showed she was insane, unfit to care for a child.

"So how is that anything other than a threat?"

I stopped and turned again, almost colliding with Burt. "Are you -- are you actually trying to say you think the Moles tried to make her run? Just so they could hunt her, force her to be a member? Is that what you're driving at?" A bit of a glare was coming to his eyes, but I didn't stop. "Are you trying to get your whole family banned? Get me banned by telling me all this? You've put me in a position of deciding whether or not to report you!"

Burt was close to fuming, I could tell by the veins coming out in his neck and the new beads of sweat creeping from under his hat that were not from exertion. "No, I don't think they knew she'd run!"

"Then what?!"

"I think they figured out what we did, that she was getting information from angels - at least an angel, who knows if there were more, and for how long. Something must've gone wrong, and badly wrong, for her to run. And, yeah, she could've contacted the Moles. Sunder was nothing if not logical, she knew they wanted her, and she’d know we'd be her best hope if she got on the wrong side of the heavenly host."

Another fit of harsh wind, and it seemed to drag the line of fog closer.

“‘We'?! She's been out there playing with fire all this time, and to what end, we don’t know, which is the point. Yeah, that is what we should be working on, not whatever this garbage goose chase is, but we're not," I said, my jaw so tight my words were slipping out through clenched teeth. “This is our mission. We’re off the Sunder case, Burt! I’ve accepted it! Now get it through your thick skull!”

“Y-you.... you've accepted it?" Burt scoffed. "Tell me another one, Jacky. And while you're at it, make me believe you don't want to find her so we can help her."

So there it was. Burt's passion had nothing to do with finding her to assess the danger, and everything to do with keeping her - and if we were right, possibly her Nephilim daughter - safe. I was very close to punching him right in that chubby mug of his.

"Stop acting like you know Sunder! Stop acting like we can get into her mind. We can't - she's gone completely 'round the bend, whatever she's doing, and it's gonna get her killed. She's not going to be a problem for long - that is my theory. Case closed."

Burt and I stared at each other for who knows how long before he took a deep breath and tried again.

"I don't claim to be in her head. But she’s a mother---"

"Mother to a---"

"---and you don't have any children, Jack. You can't understand. We're God's children, sure, but the angels were his first, and their creation was purposeful, they were designed, they were planned, and you can't plan to create a life and not have love be part of it."

My ire crumbled right along with his face. I wanted to kick myself. Burt's wife had suffered so many miscarriages, I'd truthfully lost count. They'd finally gotten past a worrying point with her current pregnancy and it had only added to his geniality. Not presently, though, as I'd just single-handedly managed to crack his sweet spirit into pieces.

"Burt, I didn't mean to---"

And suddenly his expression went back to fierce determination as he demanded the truth in one simple question:

"What did you do that made them take the Sunder case away?”

Author's note: This is doubling as an entry to @klaineaholic 's Challenge Celebration for reaching 400 Followers, because she provided such an excellent set of prompts from "Steven Universe" that I couldn't resist. My prompt was the quote "Humans find such fascinating ways to waste their time.”

Feedback makes my ❤️ go boom

See Nash Write : Master | See Nash Write : Mobile

🏷️🏷️Wanna be tagged? Hit me up! 🏷️🏷️

#Supernatural Fanfiction #SPN Fanfic #Kiri's 400 Followers Fics #Nash Writes

19 notes · View notes

brazen-kenobi · 7 years

Text

destiel/cockles fic rec

Nine Times We Met (And One Christmas We Parted) by almaasi

Summary: On the last day of school before Christmas vacation, Mr. Castiel Quinn discovers that one of his young students has smuggled male pornography into the classroom. Upon being told that the photos belong to the boy's uncle, Castiel vows to himself that he will keep the other man's preferences a secret. It's 1947; a man experiencing attraction to another man or fantasising about his sexual touch are transgressive faults, which could potentially result in imprisonment - or worse. But then the uncle walks in. The photos are of him: Dean Winchester, a rogue with an empty pocket and a child to feed. Castiel doesn't know it yet, but his life is never going to be the same again. Years pass between chance meetings, but even though they live their lives apart, Dean and Castiel's story is proof that absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.

The Mirror by Cloudyjenn

Summary: When Dean touches a strange mirror, he's whisked away to one alternate reality after another and it doesn't take him long to realize the universe is trying to tell him something.

The Request by Cloudyjenn

Summary: When Sam Winchester prays for his brother, Castiel is finally sent on his very first assignment. But what should be a simple love match turns into much more and Castiel finds himself risking everything to ensure the happiness of his extremely frustrating charge.

(Dis)Affection by justkeeponwriting

Summary: When Dean and Castiel are tricked to go on a date, neither is happy about this. To get back at their deceitful friends, they hatch the perfect plan: pretend to be dating, and gross out their friends with their over-the-top, disgustingly cute romantic relationship – and then break up in the most despicable manner imaginable. As it turns out, you can learn a lot from someone just by pretending affection.

On The Other Side by crowleyhasfeels and QuillsAndInk

Summary: While deployed in Afghanistan, Dean Winchester writes letters to a girl who he's certain isn't listening. By chance, they are found by Professor Castiel Novak who takes the time to reply. Thus begins an unlikely friendship between two lonely souls who have nothing to lose and everything to give.

A Beast’s Perspective by Castiel_Left_His_Mark_On_Me

Summary: Dean has told Benny a lot of things. The two had come to be close. They didn't lie to each other ... well except for once.

Our Life Through Your Eyes by destihellion

Summary: They’re 4 years old when Dean tells his mother he’s going to marry Castiel. (My notes - this is cruel and very fluffy and I cried a lot)

In The Almost by Sir_Kingsley

Summary: Nine years ago, Dean Winchester ran away from the love of his life. Now he's back in the States for his little brother's wedding and has to face Cas for the first time since he left. He's expecting awkwardness or anger from Cas, not to be sucked right back into the effortless friendship they'd built nearly a decade ago. Dean can't help but start to see the opportunity for a second chance with Cas, to give Cas everything that he deserves. But that was the problem, wasn't it? Cas deserved the world and all Dean had to offer was a bad heart.

Borderlines by domesticadventures

Summary: When they were gone, Cas hadn’t known where else to go. Now that they’re back, he isn’t sure he’s allowed to follow them inside. (contains spoilers for 12.09)

Cooking With Gas by Winjennster

Summary: Castiel Novak has it all. He's rich, famous, has a top rated cooking show and restaurant, drives an expensive car and wears Armani. His producer throws a contest to spend a day with Chef Novak, cooking and learning techniques. Castiel wants no part of it, but Balthazar insists and Castiel will do as expected. What Castiel wasn't expecting was to fall head over heels for the winner. Dean Winchester hasn't had a successful relationship in his 34 years on Earth. He's got a past he'd like to keep hidden, and his life rotates around his family and his business. Winning a contest to spend a day with his favorite TV chef is a shock, but a welcome diversion from his day to day life...until he meets the guy, and he turns out to be a big jerk. Dean figures he should have expected that. What he wasn't expecting was that same gorgeous blue-eyed man to sweep in and shake up his entire world.

Get Some by sysrae

Summary: Very slowly, Dean turns. 'How'd you know I was here about a room?' 'Power of deduction,' says Castiel, leaning against the doorway. 'I mean, you're not after pot, and I'm pretty sure we haven't slept together.' He grins wolfishly, gaze sliding over Dean's body. 'You, I'd remember.' Dean's been hit on by guys before, but never so blatantly, let alone by a semi-naked dude in a kimono. A hot blush warms his cheeks, and he covers his shock with cockiness, tilting his head and grinning. 'Sorry to disappoint you, Cas, but I don't swing that way.' Castiel throws back his head and laughs. 'And you want to live here? What, did your friends put you up to this?' 'Actually, yeah.' Dean raises an eyebrow. 'Is that a problem for you?'

Our Sweet Rapture by Chiyume

Summary: After a hunt gone wrong leaves Sam transfigured and Castiel drained of his grace, Dean is not only left to tend to them both, but for some reason also finds himself having involuntarily and graphically inappropriate thoughts about the angel in question. Now, if only Cas could stop getting so close to him all the time, maybe he could figure out what the hell was going on? (my notes - this is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read. I love it when you can feel the characters emotions.)

Confiteor by orange_crushed

Summary: "I have a job," he says, carefully, like Dean is not intimately fucking aware of that situation. Like Dean hasn't been googling grim statistics on gas station robberies and watching clips from Clerks on YouTube for the last few weeks like a sad dumb jerk. "Yeah," Dean says. "I know." He's mangled the check in his hand; he puts it on the table and irons out the wrinkles with his palm. "I got it."

Too Long by dshep33

12x23 coda. Don’t read if you didn’t watch it, unless you want major spoilers.

Night Exhibition by almaasi

Welcome to the world's most generic museum. In the café, you'll find Dean, putting dinosaur cut-outs on his award-winning apple pies. In the gift shop, you'll find his snarky yet devastatingly handsome friend Castiel, folding t-shirts for a living. But Castiel has a second job as a night watchman, patrolling the marble halls and protecting the museum exhibits after dark. One night, Dean asks to tag along. He could never resist a crisp blue uniform, and he'll take any opportunity to have his friend show it off. It might take all night, one dance, and a playful sex act (or five) in a few unusual places around the museum before either of them realise... maybe Dean's interest was never about the uniform. And maybe their friendship was already something else.

Satin and Sawdust by Ltleflrt

When Castiel moves out of Jimmy's house and into his own place for the first time, he saves money on buying a home by investing in a Fixer-Upper. He knows nothing about how to fix the many problems the house has, but he figures he's smart enough to figure it out. Unfortunately it's not too long before he learns that he's way in over his head.

Thankfully his new neighbor Dean is a handyman, and agrees to help him out. He knows Dean has a bit of a crush on him, but he's not taking advantage of it, really. Dean's a great guy, and quickly becomes a good friend.

But a flash of satin under Dean's toolbelt changes everything.

Best Years of Our Lives, My Ass by ireallyhatecornnuts

AU after Season 8, episode 6, "Southern Comfort." Dean goes to sleep in a motel room in Texarkana, and he wakes up 17 years old, in his childhood bedroom in Lawrence, Kansas, 1996. He has no idea how he got there, why his parents are still alive, why his brother is an adorable freshman with no memory of his adult life, and why the only ally he has in this place is the angel he left behind in Purgatory – somehow also 17 years old. They have to get out, that's the important thing. Only, falling in love with his angel wasn't a part of the plan....

The Exception to Every Rule by MittenWraith

When Sam was accepted to Stanford, he finally convinced Dean to move to Los Angeles to pursue his acting dreams after sacrificing for four years to support Sam throughout high school. Dean never imagined landing the starring role in a Hollywood blockbuster film franchise, but in just two years he’d gone from obscurity on the Lawrence Community Theater stage to become one of the fastest rising stars in the country. He's adapting pretty well to this new life in the spotlight-- until one unhealthily obsessed fan prompts Dean’s agent to hire a specialist from Seraphim Security to watch over him.

Enter Castiel, one of Seraphim’s newest “Angels,” and the only one available to take on Dean’s case a week before Christmas. With Dean’s life on the line, Castiel does his best to maintain a professional distance, but with every passing day they’re both finding themselves making more and more exceptions to their rules.

a turn of the earth by mishcollin

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

Method Acting (Or ‘In Which Misha Is Not, In Fact, Kidding Jensen’) by HigherMagic

There's a little surprise in the script for the latest episode, Misha is unruffled, and Jensen is not amused, but he's determined to put on the best damn performance he can, 'cause it's the last season and, hey, he owes it to Dean.

Heartland by Kalliel

To love the Winchesters means probably, today, to leave them.

Because I'm surely not the only one who heard Sam say This is everything Cas dug up in Gaza, every last bit of prebiblical lore and wondered how Castiel got there, and how long he plans to stay. Tag to 11x07 “Plush”; implied spoilers for 11x08 and 11x09.

Her Favorite Love Story by destieldrabblesdaily

The story of Dean and Castiel as seen through Mary Winchester's eyes; AKA how she witnesses her oldest son fall in love with his best friend.

Shakes-Queer: A Comedy by ozonecologne (also on tumblr as @ozonecologne)

"I’ve never talked to you before but the teacher just used us as an example for a scenario where we are married" AU.

(Conveniently, a comedy usually ends in marriage.)

Breathe Lighty by nhixxie

"To my first love, and my last, Dean Winchester. These are the things I want to tell you: the human body is 60% water. The number of neurons in one person is the rough equivalent of the number of stars in a small galaxy. There is 0.2 milligrams of gold in your blood. The heart is an elaborate engine. I love you."

(Thanks to @kinvgslayer for suggesting this to me. She just really wanted me to cry. And I did.)

#destiel fic #destiel fic rec #deancas fic rec #deancas #casdean #dean winchester #castiel #cas #cass #castiel novak #supernatural #spn #fic rec #i will try to update this regularly #i will also do a tbr (to be read) list #supernatural 12x23 #12x23 coda

15 notes · View notes

thedanceofrelationship-blog · 7 years

Text

The Long Road to a Redemption Story

Identity is a story that comes in three basic parts. First is communion – who we are connected to, who we love; second is agency – what we have done and contributed in our lives; and third, redemption – how we have transformed the bad things that happened to us into something good. Most of us can site many times we have created happy endings from nasty situations. This is one of mine. It takes a long and winding road with a cast of characters (many who shall remain nameless) and extraordinary experiences, each adding a major milestone. Redemption would take well over a decade to be revealed to me.

OK, here’s the bad thing. My best friend betrayed me by having an affair with my husband which I didn’t find out about until two years after my divorce.

When I met her, I was 29, divorced with two kids, and commuting from a NY suburb to my Manhattan job on the Penn Central Railroad. My neighbor Fred introduced us saying she had a good weed connection. Our friendship began just as I was beginning to date the man who, within three years, would become my second husband. My BFF danced at our wedding. She became the sister I never had.

In the second year of my new marriage, my family moved from NY to Texas. Dallas launched my princess career. He had a great job, making lots of money. We got a great house. My kids were enrolled in a great private school. And, no longer needing to work, I built an art studio in the house and put my National Academy of Design training to work as a portrait sculptor. Life was full of carpool, art, tennis, jogging, and socializing.

My long, lost sister was a constant presence, no matter where we were. Our first Dallas summer of 100+ degree days, we rented a house for a month on the beach in Long Island. BFF arrived to visit with a surprising new practice – Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism, a sect that believes we can unlock the limitless potential of our inner lives and achieve Buddhahood in this lifetime. While she was locked away in her room chanting, nam myoho renge kyo for long periods of time, we were snarkily chuckling that she sounded like a buzzing bee. She tried to get me interested. “Herbie Hancock and Tina Turner are Buddhists” she said. I would have none of it.

The following year, during one of her regular visits to Dallas, I was suffering a highly unusual and excruciating migraine headache. BFF knew just the cure – chant nam myo ho renge kyo. I was desperate. After about 20 minutes, my headache was gone. And thus began what the Buddhists call, shakubuku, the initiation process into the Buddhist practice. She connected me to a local chapter where I could meet people and learn to recite the gongyo, the morning and evening prayers. From my first meeting, I was captivated by the sound, the harmony, the vibration, and the joy of these people chanting together.

Through my regular practice with this chapter I came to know the family of TV star from the show DALLAS. While they were residents of California, they spent each of their summers in Dallas for location shooting of the show. Seeing my work, they commissioned me to sculpt a portrait of their two boys, who were about eight and three years old at the time. As summer turned to fall and they prepared to travel west, they asked me to shakubuku a woman named Carolyn, the ex-girlfriend of a doctor who had rented them their house the previous year. Happy to oblige, I arranged for a meeting in which I taught her to chant.

Carolyn was the most dazzling, free spirit I’d ever met. She was a model, a dancer, an actress, and a pothead. I would regularly go to her house where we would chant for a while, then smoke a joint, and go to one of Dallas’s luxury watering holes for champagne.

Carolyn introduced me to her friends, a husband and wife who owned a resort in Mexico and were purveyors of the drug Ecstasy, or MDMA, which, at the time, was still unknown and unclassified by the Drug Enforcement Agency. In other words, legal. Ecstasy was a life-altering experience. I’d had a commonly reported reaction – I felt my heart opening in a way that I can feel to this day, so many years later.

One evening during a small cocktail party at my house with Carolyn and her friends, our doorbell was rung by a young family. Enter Blair and Stephen, and their 18-month old son, Seraphim. They had been on their way to their home in Austin and had stopped by to meet the resort owners just to say “hello” and give them thanks for the wonderful time they had had at their resort. With our hearts Ecstasy-wide open, we invited them to stay, which they did, for three days.

Blair and Stephen were the personification of The New Age. During our time together, they taught me how to rebirth, a type of breath work invented by the therapist Leonard Orr. The basic idea is that you can heal whatever ails you by re-experiencing the trauma surrounding your birth. It’s really just conscious, circular, yogic breathing that can be done lying flat or under water with a snorkel. Traditional psychologists have voted to discredit it. But, for me, it was extraordinarily powerful.

Blair and Stephen were aspiring breatharians. (If you’ve never heard of breatharians, think “vegetarian,” only substitute breath for veggies.) I know. But stay with me. They believed that it is possible for a person to live without consuming food, purely on prana, Sanskrit for life force, IF you could eliminate all toxins from your body, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Go ahead and Google this. There have been many articles written on breatharians and breathariansim. At that particular moment in time, they were subsisting as fruitarians and followers of Baba Muktananda and Siddha yoga, working to scrub their souls clean.

Blair was a practicing medium. She channeled a Canadian Catholic priest from the 1800’s named “Father Andre.” This was the first time I had ever encountered a channeled being. Blair would go into a meditation, and with her eyes closed, a new voice sprang from her lips, with wisdom and guidance for those in her audience. Father Andre told me that I was like the sands of the desert, beautiful but frequently shifting, and failing to give solid ground to my children. I could see it. This harsh counsel came with a strong recommendation, “You need to do the est Training.” Naturally, I picked up the phone and enrolled in the next program.

Est, an 80-hour two-weekend training, was developed by Werner Erhard in the 1970’s. Est promised “to transform one’s ability to experience living so that the situations one had been trying to change or had been putting up with, clear up just in the process of life itself.” In truth, the training stopped my self-doubt and striving to be someone I was not, and actually produced a sense of perfection and responsibility. I came away from est feeling as though my life had taken a dramatic turn. I stopped drinking and drugging and encouraged my husband, whose drinking I was always working to keep up with, along with several of my closest friends, to do the training also.

As an enthusiastic and tremendously appreciative participant, I became a holy roller advocate for the training and guest seminar leader, leading evenings about the training to enroll newcomers. That’s where I met Lisa, my newest best friend and certainly the smartest and funniest woman I’ve ever known. Lisa was 11 years younger than I and 11 years older than my oldest daughter. We became so close that my husband had suggested that she could support my spiritual needs while he supported my financial ones. This didn’t work out so well. I was living a sober life with my husband, with whom I could find little in common, and simultaneously falling in love with Lisa. We divorced one year after the training.

Lisa moved in the day after he moved out. Her brilliance transported me from my desolation and fear to excitement about the blank canvas that I was. It would take a couple of years before I could come to terms with the failure of my marriage.

With no husband to support me, finance instantaneously became a priority in my life again. The job title, ‘princess/sculptor’ did not seem promising for generating anywhere near the income I needed to maintain the lifestyle to which I had become accustomed. I had to come up with a new career, and fast. Forced to examine what I had done in my life, I was completely stymied at how to combine my experience in visual art, sales, business analysis, and mother, and articulate it in the form of a new offer. And to whom would I make this invaluable offer?

Lisa connected me to a program on entrepreneurship that was being given by a Werner Erhard connection, Fernando Flores. Some background on Flores: At 29, he was the youngest minister in the Salvador Allende presidency. Remember the American-backed coup in Chile in 1973? Allende died and Flores was isolated in a political prison at the hands of Augusto Pinochet. After three years, Flores was released through the efforts of Amnesty International and went to Stanford to do his Ph.D. His doctoral thesis “Communication in the Office of the Future” provided important distinctions that Erhard used in his training.

The course on entrepreneurship created a huge opening for my career. I was introduced me to the fundamentals of the philosophy of language and the inevitability of the coming boom in the personal computer industry. From my years in the corporate world, I could readily see an offer to business. I returned to Dallas, a complete novice in the computer world but ready to start a company with Lisa where we sold grey market computers loaded with modems, floppy drives, and communication software.

Our first big break came with a contract with a global software company in Dallas. We were doing so well that we interested an investor in our business. Needing a staff, the first person I thought of was my old BFF who had been trying to find a job in Dallas for years.

The business venture was a disaster. We naively gave away 51% to the man with the money. Within a year, he had fired us and left us holding a $100K debt on a line of credit with which we had bought computers that our partner had sold and collected on. And while Lisa and I were fired, my BFF stayed on. It seemed that she had conspired against us, something we could hardly understand. Until the following summer when my ex-husband confessed his affair with her.

I called her immediately. At first, she denied it. When I told her that the information came from my ex-husband, she deflected by saying, “it was another time.” I offered her the opportunity to clean it up with me. She declined. I fell into a rage which turned into a righteous obsession that I couldn’t shake without several months of therapy and deep work on the nature of forgiveness.

No longer living together, Lisa and I bootstrapped a new business. Recognizing a substantial need for greater competence than our customers in communication, I immersed myself in a long-term program with Flores in the philosophy of language. Flores committed that if I would give him three years, he would teach me how to think.

In my third year of the program, a group of students went out for a night of salsa dancing. There I met Cristián, a Chilean man who studied with and worked for Flores. The moment I saw him, I knew I had to dance with him. Within two years we married.

Our highest priority was to live together authentically. One of our first commitments was to tell each other everything we didn’t want to tell the other. And in so doing, we delved into the depths of our humanity, discovering more and more of ourselves and each other, healing our shames and traumas, and continually expanded the limits of what is possible in an intimate relationship.

We have been together for almost 30 years. During this time, I developed the agency aspect of my identity. Building on my education, I created a program called Mindful Collaboration. I have become known as a virtuoso coach and team developer, working with the leadership of Fortune 100 companies.

Another significant connection came from my relationship with Flores. I coached a man named David who was struggling to create a new business. We became friends. I introduced him to a training called Avatar that was conducted at my friends’ resort in Mexico. There he fell in love with a woman who moved him to Mexico where he encountered Huichol shamans who completely changed his life. A few years later, David offered me the gift of vision quest, a traditional indigenous ritual where one goes alone to the mountain, fasting for days, sitting in a small corn circle with nothing to do and nowhere to go, praying for a vision. The mountain showed me the intricate, sacred, interconnectedness of all life. This great gift answered the question I didn’t know that I had, but was the force that had been driving me, “why am I here?”

The portrait of my life is drawn by connecting the dots of these remarkable encounters. Meeting the mountain was a dot that forms the heart of my portrait, like a keystone holding it all together.

Bringing the sacred into our lives has given our couple a palpable resonance, one that has had people constantly asking what it is we know. Ten years ago, we began to offer a course together called The Dance of Relationship that shows that love is a dance everyone can learn. We share our most significant commitments and provide practices for mastering the moves of the dance. The course awakens the heart of all who come.

We have become great learners, Cristián and I. This is the secret to redemption – find the gift in those failures and pain, use them to become masterful in life. I sit in great gratitude to my old BFF for putting me on the path of learning and finding my amazing partner. Without her, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

1 note · View note

ofauris-archived · 4 years

Text

Verse Timelines

Since each one happens after a specific point, I decided to post this to keep track of when each Verse happens and if Melanie retained anything from it (like abilities, accessories, ect). They will be called Travels in this post.

FIRST TRAVEL: TALES OF ZESTIRIA This is currently still being written in fanfic form with the ending already planned out. It happened in the first few months Melanie restarted her delivery service. Thrown into an alternative Zestiria, Melanie became a sort of Pseudo-Shepherd known as an “Oracle”, whose Prime Lord was the element the Shepherd’s Prime Lord was strong against (i.e: Oracle’s Prime Lord is Wind, Shepherd’s Prime Lord is Fire). Oracles have a forbidden ability to use their Seraphim to recover from grevious injuries or revive themselves, but are basically shunned if they do this willingly (which Melanie did not).

The Alisha DLC is non-canon to this travel.

Melanie did not retain the Oracle’s power when she left, but gained the ability to use Seraphic Artes (or magic), with her main elements being Wind and Void.

SECOND TRAVEL: SENKI ZESSHOU SYMPHOGEAR (GX-XV) This one happened as if it was an Gallajhorn-found Alternative Universe instead of in the canon universe and happened two months after the Zestiria travel. Melanie is given a copy of Gungnir by a mysterious person and the alias “Kitagawa Sera”. She is untouched by the Curse of Balal, as her world has no form of that, and can utilize the Symphogear without LiNKER.

She fought the Alca-Noise on her own, without the help of S.O.N.G or any of the other Symphogear Users, to protect those before the Noise could carbonize them. In the verse itself, her joining S.O.N.G is dependent on the roleplayer playing a Symphogear character.

In this travel (for the sake of the post), however, Melanie never joined S.O.N.G and merely assisted them in their endeavors. She takes the copy Gungnir with her when she leaves.

THIRD TRAVEL: FINAL FANTASY XIV (LONG; 5.3 SPOILERS) Currently a main verse, and where most interaction will take place. Melanie retains her ability of Seraphic Artes and the copy Gungnir. She ends up in Limsa Lominsa and takes up the path of a Rogue, though her skill with daggers is a bit different than what the Rogues do. Travelling through the MSQ on her own, she meets the Scions of the Seventh Dawn and ends up becoming a Warrior of Light. Unable to be tempered by Primals due to outside influences (later found to be her dormant Echo and not because of Maotelus like she first thought), Melanie was sent against each and every primal that came up.

She joined Lady Iceheart in her ventures when she could, becoming one of her most valiant supporters who never supped on dragon’s blood. Making changes to the world itself, instead of following the set path of a Warrior of Light. When the Scions were lost to reasons after the Banquet, Melanie spent most of her time helping Lady Iceheart after gaining access to Ishgard proper. She interfered in a trial by combat and saved Fray Myste from certain death by a well-timed spell (no one knew of her interference) and took up the path of the Dark Knight under his tutelage.

Assisting in every way she could, Melanie was devastated when she saw Ysayle supposedly die (in reality, she survived) and steeled herself for the battle ahead instead of letting herself mourn. Papalymo was next to die, sacrificing himself to contain Shinryu..

And then Melanie found out Yda had died, and that the Yda she’d spent the past couple months with was none other than Lyse. Throughout Stormblood, Melanie remained silent and continued to train under Fray when she could. But when the Crystal Exarch interfered and called her while she was fighting Zenos, she was certain she would die. Saved by Estinien, she awoke in the Ishgard infirmary and set off to the Crystal Tower.

In Shadowbringers, Melanie knew the Crystal Exarch was G’raha Tia due to the fact of the Crystal Tower being in the First. She went along with his idea, nearly dying in the process. For her, it was the third time she’d nearly died. If it hadn’t been for Ardbert, before she faced Emet Selch in combat, she would have become a Lightwarden and her soul would have been lost.

And then, when she accepted the constellation fragment from Hythlodaeus, everything came together. Melanie had awakened to the Echo in Rak’tika, after Y’shtola had seemingly sacrificed herself to save the Night’s Blessed. Her soul was the fragmented soul of Chronos, who held the seat of Azem a long time ago. The girl who travelled, and whose soul now rested within Melanie. She was the Traveler, the Shepherd to the Lost Stars. With this knowledge, while facing Elidibus, she used an ancient spell to summon forth her friends from other worlds to face him... and then to send them back after a farewell. This also stabilized her world travel ability, and allowed her to use it at will.

But G’raha used the last of his power to seal Elidibus in the tower itself. Melanie gave Elidibus every constellation fragment except the one made for her, as a parting gift. Taking the souls of her friends, and the Crystal Exarch, Melanie travelled back to the Source and reunited souls and memories with the correct bodies. She then awoke a sleeping G’raha on the Source, merging his soul and memories with the ones from the Crystal Exarch.

[This journey is technically still ongoing until FFXIV ends]

Melanie retains all abilities learned here.

FOURTH TRAVEL: KINGDOM HEARTS After returning home from her travels in Eorzea, Melanie unintentionally slips away from home two weeks after. Pulled away, in actuality, by an unknown force that was calling for help. Because of her unique ability, Melanie is able to traverse worlds without use of a Gummi Ship or anything of the sort.

The other verses are not travels as of current.

#verse timelines #i'm too wordy i'm sorry aaaa #i've been trying to work on this for ages but then opera locked up on me so i had to rewrite it #but yeah melanie has been places and seen things.

0 notes

inloveandwords · 5 years

Text

The last couple of months of the year consisted of me binging on books during my Thanksgiving and Winter vacations. It was absolutely glorious and satisfying to catch up with my Goodreads challenge and read a bunch of books I’d been dying to get my hands on for a long time.

With those huge binging sessions, though, came a giant backlog of reviews that needed to be written.

Instead of trying to remember exactly what I liked and didn’t like in all of the novels I read, I decided to do a series of mini-reviews instead!

These are little bite-sized snippets of my thoughts and feelings about these books, along with a star-rating. Perfect for those who like to skim (like meeeeee!)

I hope you enjoy!

About Last Night by Ruthie Knox

★★★★

Cath Talarico knows a mistake when she makes it, and God knows she’s made her share. So many, in fact, that this Chicago girl knows London is her last, best shot at starting over. But bad habits are hard to break, and soon Cath finds herself back where she has vowed never to go . . . in the bed of a man who is all kinds of wrong: too rich, too classy, too uptight for a free-spirited troublemaker like her.

Nev Chamberlain feels trapped and miserable in his family’s banking empire. But beneath his pinstripes is an artist and bohemian struggling to break free and lose control. Mary Catherine—even her name turns him on—with her tattoos, her secrets, and her gamine, sex-starved body, unleashes all kinds of fantasies.

When blue blood mixes with bad blood, can a couple that is definitely wrong for each other ever be perfectly right? And with a little luck and a lot of love, can they make last night last a lifetime?

I don’t recall why I originally added this to my TBRASAP shelf, but I’m glad I did. This was a super quick, light read that I easily devoured in a day.

Where I Belong (Alabama Summer #1) by J. Daniels

★★★★

When Mia Corelli returns to Alabama for a summer of fun with her childhood best friend, Tessa, there’s only one thing keeping her on edge. One person that she’d do anything to avoid.

Benjamin Kelly. World’s biggest dickhead.

Mia hates him with a fury and has no desire to ever see him again. When she decides to start her summer off with a bang and finally give away her v-card, she unknowingly hands it over to the one guy that excelled at making her life miserable, learning a valuable lesson in the process.

Always get the name of the guy you’re going home with.

Ben can’t get the girl he spent one night with out of his head. When she leaves him the next morning, he thinks he’ll never see her again. Until he sees her lounging by the pool with his sister.

Mia is determined to hate Ben, even though she can’t forget him.

Ben is determined to prove he’s not the same guy he used to be.

What happens when the one person you wish never existed becomes the one person you can’t imagine being without?

I love, love, loved the premise and execution of this book, particularly the beginning of the novel, but it wasn’t quite a 5-star read for me. It fell a little flat in a few areas – toward the middle of the book – but it definitely picked up in the end.

Big Rock (Big Rock #1) by Lauren Blakely

★★★★

It’s not just the motion of the ocean, ladies. It’s definitely the SIZE of the boat too.

And I’ve got both firing on all cylinders. In fact, I have ALL the right assets. Looks, brains, my own money, and a big c*&k.

You might think I’m an a*&hole. I sound like one, don’t I? I’m hot as sin, rich as heaven, smart as hell and hung like a horse.

Guess what? You haven’t heard my story before. Sure, I might be a playboy, like the NY gossip rags call me. But I’m the playboy who’s actually a great guy. Which makes me one of a kind.

The only trouble is, my dad needs me to cool it for a bit. With conservative investors in town wanting to buy his flagship Fifth Avenue jewelry store, he needs me not only to zip it up, but to look the part of the committed guy. Fine. I can do this for Dad. After all, I’ve got him to thank for the family jewels. So I ask my best friend and business partner to be my fiancée for the next week. Charlotte’s up for it. She has her own reasons for saying yes to wearing this big rock.

And pretty soon all this playing pretend in public leads to no pretending whatsoever in the bedroom, because she just can’t fake the kind of toe-curling, window-shattering orgasmic cries she makes as I take her to new heights between the sheets.

But I can’t seem to fake that I might be feeling something real for her.

What the fuck have I gotten myself into with this…big rock?

I went into this book knowing that I am not the biggest fan of douchebag playboy heroes in books, but I’ve also been on a huge Lauren Blakely kick and figured if anyone could do this trope right, it’d be her. I wasn’t wrong. On either count. I still don’t like those kind of heroes, but I did really enjoy her take on it.

Dreams of Gods & Monsters (Daughter of Smoke & Bone #3) by Laini Taylor

★★★★★

Two worlds are poised on the brink of a vicious war. By way of a staggering deception, Karou has taken control of the chimaera’s rebellion and is intent on steering its course away from dead-end vengeance. The future rests on her.

When the brutal angel emperor brings his army to the human world, Karou and Akiva are finally reunited – not in love, but in a tentative alliance against their common enemy. It is a twisted version of their long-ago dream, and they begin to hope that it might forge a way forward for their people. And, perhaps, for themselves.

But with even bigger threats on the horizon, are Karou and Akiva strong enough to stand among the gods and monsters?

The New York Times bestselling Daughter of Smoke & Bone trilogy comes to a stunning conclusion as – from the streets of Rome to the caves of the Kirin and beyond – humans, chimaera, and seraphim strive, love, and die in an epic theater that transcends good and evil, right and wrong, friend and enemy.

It took me so long to finish this series, but I loved every second of it. Every time I pick up a Laini Taylor book, I’m captivated by the world, the characters, and, most of all, the writing. I loved this ending to the series!

Hate Notes by Vi Keeland and Penelope Ward ★★★★★

It all started with a mysterious blue note sewn into a wedding dress.

Something blue.

I’d gone to sell my own unworn bridal gown at a vintage clothing store. That’s when I found another bride’s “something old.”

Stitched into the lining of a fabulously feathered design was the loveliest message I’d ever read: Thank you for making all of my dreams come true.

The name embossed on the blue stationery: Reed Eastwood, obviously the most romantic man who ever lived. I also discovered he’s the most gorgeous. If only my true-love fantasies had stopped there. Because I’ve since found out something else about Mr. Starry-Eyed.

He’s arrogant, cynical, and demanding. I should know. Thanks to a twist of fate, he’s my new boss. But that’s not going to stop me from discovering the story behind his last love letter. A love letter that did not result in a happily ever after.

But that story is nothing compared to the one unfolding between us. It’s getting hotter, sweeter, and more surprising than anything I could have imagined.

Something new.

But I have no idea how this one is going to end…

Both Vi Keeland and Penelope Ward are authors who don’t usually hit the mark for me a lot of the time, but this was not the case for Hate Notes. The premise sounds really good and it delivers in so many ways. I appreciated the serious elements as well as the more cliche ones.

Have you read any of these books? What are your thoughts?

Mini-Reviews {January 2019} The last couple of months of the year consisted of me binging on books during my Thanksgiving and Winter vacations.

#4 stars #5 stars #J. Daniels #Laini Taylor #Lauren Blakely #Mini Reviews #Penelope Ward #reviews #ruthie knox #Vi Keeland

0 notes