#i think in the next book she should have a mental breakdown and Gone Girl everybody but then nobody’s around to solve it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lollytea · 3 years

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Girl Talk

(ngl I hate this sm. I wrote this fic yesterday, the file corrupted and i lost everything, had a breakdown, rewrote everything the next day because I am obnoxiously stubborn. Anyways Hunter and Luz content. Bon Appetit?)

(READ ON AO3)

“Okay, but what am I even supposed to say to her? Oh! Maybe I could write down some jokes on the back of my glyph slips in case things get awkward. Wait, no, I don't want her to think I'm not taking this seriously. I don't need to be goofy all the time just to hang out with her. I need her to know that I'm serious about her and this whole...romantic thing. And I know she gets upset when she thinks I'm making fun of her so...”

“Alright, so, get this. It says here that there was once this old witch who lived on the outskirts of Latissa and his whole thing was experimenting by mixing paints and magic together. Apparently the stuff he created was like....super powerful.”

“I mean, she said she likes me 'cause I'm goofy and funny and lovable and...and...and I'm sure there's other adjectives I could use but I'm drawing a blank here. So, who am I to deprive her of what she signed up for? But I can't just....ugh, I can't even think right!”

“It doesn't have a lot of info on his specific technique but I'm sure if we did some more research, we could successfully replicate his experiments. We're pretty good at figuring stuff out. Woah, wait. I wonder what would happen if we created glyphs with this paint....maybe it would enhance the spell's level of power. Oh, that would be so cool!”

Luz stopped pacing, the floorboards practically burning after she thoroughly wore down the surface with her frantic footsteps. She set a hand on her hip and turned a withering look on her guest.

“Call me coocoo but I don't think you're listening to a word I say.”

Hunter lifted his head to blink up at her, chewing on the end of a pen. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, boxed in by towers of Eda's Wild Magic books.

There was a glassy look in his eye, as if he was trying to get his bearings after being abruptly yanked out of an alternate dimension.

He had been, in a way. Luz was inclined to call it “Booksville.”

When Luz first met Hunter, this sort of stuff was a big, huge No-No for him. She could've invited him to take a look at any one of those books, packed with information on that obsession of his and of course, he'd be crazy with intrigue but he would hesitate. If he even opened the book at all, he'd card through the pages with an almost jumpy sense of caution, as if the paper itself would sting his fingers.

Well, that ship had certainly sailed. It had taken him a while to get fully comfortable but nowadays, Hunter didn't ask twice before digging into the contents of Eda's books, soaking up every tidbit of every sentence until he had exhausted every page.

He had even brought his own index flags to mark his favorite passages. He had gone on a little rant earlier about how Eda was an outright maniac for dog-earring the page corners.

Luz made a mental note to never show him the state of her Azura books. He would probably cry.

Hunter had become so lost in the Wild Magic sauce, he didn't even seem to care about the fact that he was not supposed to be here.

Of course, Eda didn't mind that he was here. That is to say, Luz didn't technically tell her he was here. She and King were currently out, being menaces to society and all that fun stuff, as they usually were before Luz would sneak Hunter in.

So, to be fair, Eda had never specifically said that Luz was not allowed to let The Golden Guard of the Emperor's coven into their home.

It was probably fine, right?

Yeah, it was probably fine that Luz had been hiding The Golden Guard of the Emperor's coven in her bedroom like some kind of forbidden pet.

Speaking of forbidden pets, that precious red cardinal of his was perched like a Christmas decoration atop his shoulder. That little rascal did wonders for Hunter. He seemed so much cuter than he was when there was an adorable little palisman snuggling up to him.

Once Hunter had processed what Luz said to him, his features screwed up tight. He was offended.

“Whadd'ya mean I'm not listening? I bet you can't repeat anything I was just talking about.”

“Ugh! Yeah, Hunter, I heard you. Paints! You wanna start painting as a hobby and let me just tell you, I fully support your budding creativety and will hype up your work with my entire heart but please. Right now I am having a full blown Amity Calamity!”

“Yeah, okay, that is not what I was talking about. Also, I get that you're freaking out n' all but....what do you expect me to do about it?” He threw his hands about wildly, at a complete loss. “Man, I don't know anything about that stuff,”

“I don't knowww....” Luz groaned. “I just....ugggghhh.” She buried her head in her hands, ruffling her hair into oblivion, like it would miraculously stimulate her brain cells into action. It released some pent up frustration, at least. “I wish it was easier for us to just talk about girls together.”

Hunter perked up. “Talk about girls? Are you kidding? Of course we can talk about girls, dummy!”

“Wait, really?” Luz asked, taken aback by this apparent development.

“Yeah, for sure. One sec,” Buzzing with eagerness, Hunter dove into his stacks of books, emerging seconds later with a worn, dust encrusted volume. It was so ancient, the title had faded away but Hunter still put his finger to where the big letters should be.

“Notable Female Witches of The Savage Ages,” He rattled off delightedly. “They were considered the mothers of Wild Magic. Their style of spell was really quite advanced, see they--”

Despite her frayed nerves, Luz sill managed a weak laugh.

As insufferable as he could be sometimes, she really did like this nerd a lot.

“Okay, Hunter. Buddy,” She said gently. “This stuff sounds really cool and I wanna hear all about it at some point buuuut....when I say girls, I mean...y'know. Amity specifically.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah.”

Hunter's face fell with disappointment but he was quick to snap back into a look of cool indifference. He shut the book in his lap with a soft thump, set it aside and turned his full attention to Luz.

“Sooooo...” he began awkwardly, scratching at his ear. It could not be more obvious that Hunter wanted nothing to do with this discussion. But Luz appreciated that he was trying. “Girlfriend problems, huh? Shoot.”

Luz's cheeks darkened. “Heh. 'Girlfriend'. Yeah, that's...uh...” She was suddenly very inconvenienced by the existence of her own hands so she clasped them together tight to keep herself from fidgeting. “That is.....a word for Amity.”

Hunter frowned, puzzled. “Okaaaay? So, what's the issue?”

“Ohhhhhh, boy.” An ironic, long suffering smile stretched across her face. “Let me just tell you that there is a lot goin' on up here, pal.” Luz tapped her finger against her temple. “So if I'm gonna give you the full unabridged version--”

“You could summarize it.”

“You know I don't know how to do that.”

“Yeah, I know.” Hunter sighed. “Figured it was worth a shot. Okay, let's hear it.”

“Alright but this is gonna be a lot so I suggest you strap yourself in,”

Luz sucked in a deep inhale, with full intent to let the entire flood of thoughts cascade out her mouth.

Hunter's eyes snapped to the floor, like he was actually looking for a safety harness to attach himself to. Then he seemed to realize that was ridiculous, as he scowled to himself. Little Rascal chirped and he irritably mumbled something under his breath in response.

And then Luz took off.

“Alright, so!” She announced, clapping her hands together. “So me and Amity have known each other fooooor...a while now? Yeah, it's been a while. And we've been pretty good friends ever since and then one day, she rescued me from her scary mom and she had this black flowing cape and her voice went all low and then suddenly, huh. Doki doki, y'know?” She thumped a fist against her chest. “I was gettin' all feelings-y up in here,”.

“And then a little later I figured out that we were both feeling kinda feelings-y and I was all like,” She mimed a brain explosion. “Pshww....”

“Pshww....” Hunter repeated quietly, testing out the little sound effect on his tongue. “Doki...doki....?”

“Yeah. Exactly. Doki doki. Pshww.” Luz nodded, as if he had made a valuable contribution. “So, now we're both here in the same boat, fully shish kebab-ed by Cupid's arrow.”

“Hold up. What language are you speaking?”

“And things are....great? Nice? Sorta hard to believe but stuff actually happens. We hold hands a few times, we...” The volume of her voice dropped to a bashful murmur. “we kiss a few times. There was so many beautiful, amazing romance-y moments that happened, just like in movies, y'know?”

“Movies....?” Hunter's bewildered stare turned from Luz to the bird on his shoulder, as if he was going to get any further clarification from either of them.

“Right! But here's the thing. It sorta feels like all that stuff just went by in a blur. I don't even know how I did any of that. The hand holding, the smooches the....ugh! It was like I was on autopilot or something and now I have no idea how to operate. Now, no matter how hard I try to get the vibe right, I can recreate those moments. So now it's starting to feel like...I don't know how to do anything!”

Luz's arms were whizzing around like an out of control windmill.

“I mean, Sure, Amity takes the lead sometimes but I can't make her carry this entire....relationship? Flirtationship? Whatever it is that's happening here! I gotta act or something! But I've been thinking about it waaaay too much. I never know the right time to hold her hand, I never know if she wants me to tell her she looks cute or if now maybe isn't the right time or...it's awkward, okay?! I've been making it awkward 'cause I don't know what to do! I-I don't even know for sure if we're dating! We've never talked about it!”

The last sentence came out as a squeak and Luz realized she had used up all her oxygen and needed to take a breather.

Hunter had not said a word but Luz did not know what to make of that dissecting stare of his, that studied her with a mixture of confusion and fascination. Like she was some kind of peculiar animal. A flushed, panting, peculiar animal.

“So.” He said finally, holding his palm out for Little Rascal to migrate from his shoulder to his hands. “Why don't you talk about it?”

He asked like it was the obvious solution. Luz was a little irked by it, but she kept her patience.

“Oh, Hunter. Sweet Hunter.” She heaved an exhausted sigh. “It is not that simple.”

He still didn't seem to understand. “Well, why not?”

“'Cause it's--.....Uh.” Luz trailed off, twirling her wrist around as if expecting to snatch an eloquent articulation out of thin air.

“Okay. Lemme put it like this. Amity is....really special. To me. Sometimes I still can't believe that she's real and she's friends with me and she likes me and....whew.” She pressed her fingertips to her cheek, surprised by the warmth. Even thinking that sort of stuff prompted a blush or two but it seemed saying it out loud made her face scalding.

“Anyway, now that we're going through....this, everything feels so much more....fragile?” Her voice rose in pitch, uncertain if 'Fragile' was even a suitable word to describe her feelings. It was just a vague, wishy-washy concept to describe.

“Like I feel like I could break it all so easy, just by....” Wait, she knew. She had figured out her handle on this.

“Just by being me.” She felt an ache just by admitting it, but it was the truth. Luz exhaled unsteadily to compose herself, clasping her fists tight into the fabric of her shorts and she continued...calmly.

“I can't risk doing anything that's gonna push her or make her uncomfortable or scare her away or...y'know, ruin this.” She held up her palms with a heavy shrug. “I-I don't have a plan and it would be way too reckless to wing it. Who knows what would come out of my mouth? She tells me a billion times that my weirdness is what she likes about me but...it can just as easily be the thing she hates if I overdo. I can't overdo it.

Luz was expecting Hunter to look at her like she was dumb again, but surprisingly, he nodded. A slow, thoughtful nod, as he absentmindedly scratched Little Rascal under the chin.

As the silence filled a little longer, she was starting to believe he had nothing else to add, which was fine. She had wanted to rant her heart out but realistically, she couldn't imagine Hunter having any advice for her. This wasn't exactly his area of expertise.

“Hey, Luz.” He said at last, voice surprisingly breezy. “You know those books that you really like? Uhh, with the nice witch Azuzu or whatever,”

“It's the Good Witch Azura!” Luz snapped, hands flying to her hips. “And I know you just pretended to not know her name. You're just trying to be cool.”

“Yeah, yeah.” The corner of Hunter's lip tweaked upwards. “And wasn't there that other witch that you liked to pretend was Azura's girlfriend?

Luz scoffed, finding it utterly unbelievable that this obnoxious little man had the audacity to be so dismissive towards her favorite book series, when she had been sweet enough to smuggle him in here.

“She was not her 'Girlfriend', she was her 'Soulmate' and if you even listened to me talk about it, you would know that. For your information, her name was Hecate and she began as Azura's rival but over the course of the series, they developed a beautiful, unbreakable bond that was jam packed with heavy romantic subtext. I mean, even their declaration of their eternal friendship in Book Five, which was really emotionally poignant by the way, reads so much like a love confession, it's a crime. And it's like...Ladies! Just kiss already!”

“Okay. Right. Sure. I understood some of that.”

“I mean, I guess I've read a ton of Heczura fanfics to tide me over. It's hard to find a fic where they don't kiss. Hold on, you know what fanfiction is, right?”

“Yeah.” The light in Hunter's eyes dimmed. “You made me sit through that three hour long slideshow presentation, remember?”

“Oh, right,” Luz popped a finger gun. “That was fun,”

It was fun, but a lot of work. Hunter was pouting over losing a measly three hours of his time. Well, newsflash, nerd, Luz spent two weeks working on that. Nobody is getting their hours back.

“And what usually happens in those fanfictions?” Asked Hunter, propping his chin up with his hand, as Little Rascal hopped over to a pile of books. “How do they end?”

“I told you, they kiss. A lot of the time they look deeply into each others eye and talk about how they complete each other like two halves of one heart. And y'know, moments of miscellaneous fluff.”

“Uh huh. Interesting,” He mused, tapping his pen against his bottom lip.

Luz knew Hunter could be a little...eccentric but was he really analyzing fanfiction right now? Where did the sudden interest come from?”

“So, uh, besides Azura and Hecate, are there any other...boats(?) that you--”

“Ships.” Luz corrected him.

Hunter snapped his fingers. “Right. Ships. Basically love stories that you really like.”

“We talkin' canon or non canon?”

Hunter squinted at her, lost. Seems somebody was not taking enough notes during the slideshow presentation. “Both? A-all...?”

“Oh, well, there's a bunch.”

Luz had no intention of listing every single ship that had captured her heart. They would be here all week.

“I've spent my whole life reading books, watching movies and anime and--”

“Anime...?”

“Hunter, please!” Luz squeaked as calmly as she possibly could, but she could not deny that she had started to vibrate. “You have no idea how excited you just made me at the thought of teaching you about anime but I'd need to dedicate a whole day to that 'cause I need to meet Amity soon and I'm still sorta in crisis mode. So, let's stay on topic.”

Her brow furrowed. “Whatever the heck the topic is! Why are we talking about ships, Huntifer?”

He waved off her question. “Okay but how does the story usually end for all your ships? The book ones, the anime ones, all of them,”

“We've been over this with the fanfiction discussion. They kiss, Hunter. Geez, you want a diagram or something?”

“But what else?” He prompted.

“What do you mean 'What else?'”

Now this was just getting ridiculous.

“They kiss!” Luz said with a huge amount of emphasis. “And again, miscellaneous fluff. They'll do stuff like pick each other up and swing around, hold hands and....walk off into the sunset, y'know?” She waved off all that extra padding as unimportant to the conversation. (Though Luz did really enjoy miscellaneous fluff.)

“Well yeaaaah,” Hunter was giving off vibes of a grade school teacher who gave her little nudges in the correct direction but ultimately wanted her to figure out the right answer herself. She wished he could just give it to her because honestly, she didn't know where this any of this was going.

“But when exactly do they ask each other if they're dating?”

“Whaa?” Well, that settled it. He had paid no attention to the slideshow whatsoever. “Nah, nah, they don't do stuff like that. They don't have to 'cause they're already perfect for each other. All they gotta do is look into each others' eyes and they just...” Luz shrugged, feeling lightness bubble in her chest at the very thought. She had a feeling her smile looked pretty dopey. “They just know.”

“Right. And why don't you and Amity just know?”

The bubbles burst and the lightness turned to dead weight.

The question speared through Luz's gut. Her entire body went rigid.

She had known but...

She had been trying not to...

Not to think about it.

Because if she thought about it, she knew she'd cry.

But there is was. A culmination of every coil of underlying dread that had been gradually writhing in her stomach in a monster of anxiety, summarized in a short and sweet collection of simplistic little words.

Luz did not just know when it came to Amity. She was constantly taking shots in the dark. That is, if she was even brave enough to take a shot at all.

The two of them together were not as seamlessly synchronized as couples in love were supposed to be.

Her throat stung.

Her vision went cloudy with blotted tears but she managed to catch Hunter's stony expression break into one of sheer panic.

“Wh-- Luz! Hey!” He yelped, scrambling to pick himself up from the floor. He nearly tripped over his books as he stood and hurried over to close the distance between them. He made to reach out to her but his hand stopped, just as it was about to brush against her shoulder. It hovered there for a moment, fingers curling and uncurling with uncertainty.

“Luz, listen, I wasn't....I-I mean, what I meant was...uhh. C-c'mon, cut it out!” Hunter's voice crackled with desperation and despite crying her eyes out, Luz felt the watery chuckle at the back of her throat.

“Aww, does crying make the Golden Guard uncomfy?” She tried to tease but her words came out all wobbly.

In fairness to the poor guy, it probably did. Luz couldn't imagine that dealing with tears in a delicate matter, was ever something he would need to handle in his line of work.

For all she knew, this was his first time having to comfort someone like this.

“You don't get to make jokes and cry at the same time. You gotta pick one.” Hunter snipped, but his tone was not nearly as cutting as usual. Luz was almost tempted to call it soft.

Clearing her eyes with the heel of her hands, she finally felt that warm touch on her shoulder, and then another rest against her upper arm.

Somehow the gentleness cracked all her remaining composure and she dissolved into ragged sobs.

Hunter did not speak nor did he let go out her until she got every tear out of her system. He waited patiently, tracing circles with his thumb into her skin.

Eventually, her sniffles fell silent and her eyes no longer blurred. She took a deep breath and the following exhale was shaky but manageable.

“Are you....good?” He asked cautiously.

Luz nodded.

Hunter removed his hands so carefully, you'd think doing so would cause her physical pain. He must have heard once that people were more prone to being hurt when they were already upset and assumed it was literal.

“Do you really think that...Amity and I....” Luz's voice was low and quiet but her jaw was set tight. She refused to let her words be whimpered. She looked up, meeting Hunter's eyes. “Aren't right for each other?”

“What? No! No, no, no,” Hunter looked positively alarmed at the accusation. “Luz th-that's not even remotely what I meant by that.”

“Well, then I guess you accidentally hit the nail on the head.” Luz managed a strained, bitter little smile. “'Cause it's true.”

“Luz, c'mon,” Hunter groaned, exasperated. “Don't talk like that, you've got it mixed up.”

“No.” Said Luz, tone quiet, polite yet strikingly obstinate. “You were right, Hunter.”

For someone who loved being right, he didn't seem thrilled at all.

“When it comes to Amity, I don't just know. I don't always know what she's thinking or what she wants from me. After all this time, I-I shouldn't still be trying to figure her out,”

Luz wanted to figure her out. Every time she was in her orbit, she wanted nothing more to turn over every last piece of that girl and find every hidden gem.

But now, it like she was barricaded. Something was keeping her from moving forward, from discovering Amity.

“I mean, we've kissed.” The memories of Amity were turning more and more bittersweet by the second “I told her I loved her! We had our happy ending already! A-at least I thought it was a happy ending. But we're not acting like people who are made for each other are meant to act!”

“How do you even know how people who are meant for each other are meant to act?!” Hunter demanded, as though it wouldn't reach Luz's skull unless he raised his voice. “In all the love stories you've read, it always ends with a kiss, doesn't it?”

“And--”

“And miscellaneous fluff. Yeah, I get it.” Hunter shooed the detail away before clearing his throat.

“Point is, they never talk about what comes after. You don't read about all those awkward talks where they decide if they're dating or not and talks about what they're okay with and what they're not. It always just cuts to the perfect, shiny romantic stuff, all tied up with a bow and because of that,” He clutched Luz by the shoulders.”You don't know how to move forward in a relationship 'cause you've never had a frame of reference to help you along.”

“Hey, that's not true!” She tore away from Hunter's grip. “I'll have you know that I imagine my favorite ships as couples all the time,”

“Yeah and lemme guess,” He droned, setting a hand on his hip and launching into a mockingly saccharine tone of voice. “They understand each other soooo well all the time, they can practically read each others' mind and everything is smooth sailing and peachy all the time.”

“Yeah, duh.” Luz didn't quite what he was making fun of. “That's what being a ship is all about.”

“Okay, fine, maybe, but I cannot stress this enough,” He ran his fingers through his hair before making a cutting gesture with the side of his hand, directed at Luz. “You are not a ship.”

“Well, yeah, obviously. I'm only one--”

“I mean that the two of you aren't a ship! Listen to me, you're not Azura and Hecate. You're Luz and Amity. You're real people. You've got like a million different emotions and they're messy and crazy and you don't understand most of them.”

“Okay, Hunter, I get it, I'm a hot mess. You don't have to rub it in.”

“We're all hot messes, Luz!” He exploded. “Every single one of us. 'Cause we're real and not book characters.” He was pacing back and forth now as he ranted and raved, gesticulating like a madman.

“We gotta handle all the awkward conversations that don't fit into books. You gotta talk to real people to get them and you can talk to them for years and years but you're never gonna entirely understand them. In your love stories, it's all kisses and happy endings and it's shiny and sparkly and perfect and nerds like you Eat. It.Up!”

Hunter emphasized his point by poking Luz's forehead, shocking a startled laugh out of her. As wound up as he was, the noise surprised him too.

Her laugh was contagious and soon the room was silent, expect for the sound of quiet, breathy giggles.

One of the knots in Luz's stomach had untangled itself. Hunter did make a point that she could understand. Yeah, okay, maybe she had been a little too wrapped up in fiction to successfully navigate through her own life. Luz had never been the most logical person so it was comforting for a levelheaded counter-argument to whatever was currently inflaming her anxiety.

Obviously, this didn't fix everything. Now, she understood why this wasn't easy but that didn't mean she magically knew where to go from here.

Once the shadow of Luz's smile had finally faded away, she looked up and studied Hunter for a long while. Her gaze may have been a bit intense as nervousness began to creep into his features.

“H-hey. Uh. Sorry if I was a little too--”

“Huntifer, I think you might be on to something with this one,”

He blinked at her before brightening with relief, shrugging it off. “Oh. Yeah, maybe. I dunno, I guess it's worth some thought.

Astonishing how Hunter could switch from the cockiest, most obnoxious kid in the Boiling Isles to a remarkably humble guy. Maybe it depended on context. Or he was just embarrassed that he sorta lost control of himself in his impatience.

Luz nodded. “I'd say a lot of thought. But..I think things are still gonna be awkward. With Amity. I still don't know how I'm supposed to talk this stuff through with her.”

Hunter snorted, loosely folding his arms over chest and resting his weight on one hip. And just like that, with that simple change of posture, he looked full of himself again “You wanna know a secret that's probably not much of a secret?”

He beckoned Luz to lean in closer and said in a stage whisper. “Amity probably doesn't know either.”

Huh. Yeah, Luz knew that. She knew that at the back of her mind but...she hadn't really thought about it much. She was a little too preoccupied with her own inexperience.

Hunter's lofty grin softened. “So, it's a good thing neither of you are doing it alone, right? Don't you think you could figure out how together?”

Figure out how together....

The realization sank from the surface of her mind, and everything was processing very fast then suddenly, everything clicked.

Amity.

Luz knew Amity. Luz trusted Amity. Luz loved Amity. If there was any person Luz believed would stumble alongside her through things they didn't quite understand yet, it was Amity. And it occurred to her that Luz would help Amity in return without hesitation.

With enough notches and trimming and smoothing edges, if they worked through this together, Luz and Amity could click too. Maybe not perfectly, not for a while just yet.

But enough that they could make each other happy.

A swing of confidence so strong flooded Luz's system, she swore she nearly collapsed. She felt the grin tugging at her mouth.

She could try. She could absolutely try. They could both try.

“Is...that a yes?” Hunter asked, gauging her expression.

Luz nodded so speedily, it made her head hurt. But then she realized something else and she turned a very specific look on Hunter.

But before he could ask if she was about to attack him, she held up two fingers on each hand and then placed them on either side of her head so they jutted out just behind her ears.

“Man, I don't know anything about that stuff,” Said Luz, in what she believed to be an uncanny imitation of Hunter's voice.

He frowned. “What are the theatrics for?”

“You lied to me!” Luz was delighted.

“I-I didn't lie!” He loudly objected, pointed ears scorching bright pink. “That was just common sense, you doofus. You know, that thing you lack.”

“You know, that thing you lack.” Luz parroted, swinging her hips from side to side. Once again, her impression remained flawless.

“Don't do that!”

“Don't do that!

“Stop, you weirdo!”

At the peak of riled up, Hunter floundered for a retort that Luz wouldn't shoot back at him with childish mimicking. But then he cracked and wound up sticking his tongue out at her.

Luz simply mirrored him and Hunter huffed indignantly, turning on his heel and stomping back towards his books.

He had barely made a few steps when Luz lunged at him from behind, draping her long, lanky arms around his shoulders.

“Wha—Hey! Get off!” He squawked, struggling to pry her off him as Luz squished her cheek against his.

“Huntifer~” She singsonged. “Can you please calm down for two seconds and let me say thanks already?”

Hunter knotted his arms and his scowl didn't soften but Luz didn't miss how he stopped trying to squirm out of her grip.

“Even though you were kinda rambly and all over the place, what you said helped. It helped a lot. I know this is something I can handle and I know that 'cause of you. Thanks, nerd.”

She waited patiently until she felt his shoulders loosen. And then he glanced back at her and there was a smile. A small, tight, subtle smile but it was good enough for Luz.

And then with a burst of adrenaline, she gripped him tighter and planted a big, wet raspberry on his cheek.

Predictably, Hunter blew his top. He screeched furiously and his hands went wild to push her off but Luz was stronger than she looked. And so help her, she would give Hunter this affection or die trying.

Dying trying did not seem unlikely, actually. Hunter had told her once before that if he ever murdered her, it would probably be her own fault. Luz could not argue with that.

“That is so gross!” He griped, once Luz had finally released him.

“You're gross~” She chirped, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Hunter wiped the spit off his cheek with his palm before looking up at Luz with narrowed eyes

Luz did not have time to brace herself and suddenly she was tackled to the ground. She kicked and she screamed as Hunter dragged his disgusting wet hand across her face.

“GrossGrossGrossGrossGrossGrossGroooooss!”

Hunter cackled maniacally the whole time.

They carried on like rowdy toddlers for a while until Luz had to go meet Amity, leaving Hunter and his palisman to themselves.

It was too weird to admit out loud but he was disappointed that she was gone. Hanging out with her like this wasn't that bad. Talking with her, arguing with her, wrestling with her. It all made Hunter feel....so much like a kid.

Something that he had realized recently was that he still liked being a kid.

In spite of the doom and gloom of white of gold, of the clawed scars in his shoulder, of the spear that grazed his hair, a spark of childishness remained in Hunter that had never been entirely snuffed out.

It wasn't until he met Luz that he began actively trying to keep that spark alive.

The sun had long since fallen asleep by the time Luz returned and the moon was pooling in the sky. A little after sun down, he heard the downstairs door slam shut and the loud exuberant voice of The Owl Lady boomed from the floorboards beneath him. By the sound of it, she was celebrating a successful day's work. Hunter wondered what she and the cute little demon had managed to steal today.

His snoozing palisman was tucked snug in the crook of his neck, a pleasant warmth against his skin. It was a good idea to keep the bird close. If someone other than Luz came barreling into the room, he'd better have his staff on hand to magically conceal himself.

But once an hour passed and the chatter of the witch and the demon below gradually faded into loud snoring, Hunter presumed they had passed out on the couch. For the time being, he should be fine.

Hunter hoped that creepy owl tube thing wouldn't rat them out. Fortunately, Luz had promised that Hooty was willing to take a bribe but unfortunately, gossip spread fast in the Boiling Isles. Now The Golden Guard had a reputation for being a lunatic who visited the night market several times, buying dead mice in bulk.

He snorted to himself, combing through 'From Bones to Fire: A Study of Wild Magic Volume 2'. Everything he went through just to get his hands on knowledge.

Well, also to be young with Luz.

Yet another hour passed and somehow, being surrounded by his own obsession, Hunter got a little overstimulated. To give his brain a rest, he was now flipping through some tattered old magazine that Luz brought with her from the human realm. Some of the articles were practically gibberish to him but overall, it was okay. He learned he was a Scorpio. He didn't know what that entailed but it sounded cool.

He nearly jumped out of his skin as Luz burst into the room, announcing her return.

Startled, his palisman flew into a fluster, cheeping like crazy before it settled down atop his head. Hunter, meanwhile, had flung the magazine away so fast, it was like it had contaminated him, and snatched up the closest book to pretend he was reading it the whole time.

Thankfully, Luz didn't notice.

“Hey there, Little Rascal,” She cooed, prancing across the room and plopping down next to Hunter. “And hey, you little bookworm, you.”

“Bookworm?” Hunter knocked his shoulder against hers. “You looking for a fight, kid?”

“Whaaaat? Hunter, you wound me, I was just....Ohhh, my bad. I always forget that our bookworms and your bookworms are two waaaay different things.” She paused thoughtfully before shaking her head. “Actually, I don't retract anything. You look like a bookworm.”

“Yeah, well, you smell like a selkidomus.” Hunter smirked.

“Hey!” Luz bumped their shoulders. “Can you blame me? I've had one heck of a day with lots of nervous sweating!”

He was surprised that got him laughing but that tended to happen around her.

“So, how'd it go?” Hunter asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Luz's beam was as bright as a dozen of her light spells. The corner of her lip was twitching, as if she wanted to smile wider but it was physically impossible.

“We're dating.” She stated, no more than a whisper.

It obvious since the moment she entered the room, far bouncier and bubblier than usual but Hunter still grinned.

He had expected her to scream it from the rooftops, to grind his ribcage into powder with the force of her hug, to set off a riot of firework glyphs, spelling it out in lights.

No matter how she could have chosen to tell him, he would have been just as giddy as she was.

And yet, despite the lack of fanfare, somehow, it still felt so much like Luz. Though he knew that in the morning, she would tell the entire Boiling Isles, right here, right now, only Hunter knew. Something about that felt nice.

But the quiet serene scene was momentarily ruptured when Hunter spotted Luz re-adjusting herself out of the corner of his eye and he was immediately on high alert. Another raspberry, he could sense it.

“Luz, don't you d--”

It wasn't a raspberry.

The feather-light peck against his cheek was gone before he fully processed it, as Luz drew away with that big stupid smile still plastered on her face.

Hunter blinked away the surprise, looking to her with a raised eyebrow.

“What's that look for? In this family, we give each other hugs and kisses~”

He felt his lip quirk upwards as he scoffed, turning away with a shake of his head.

“That was so gross.”

“You're gross.”

“For real, it was even more gross than the raspberry.”

Luz burst into giggles and Hunter could understand why everything was suddenly a million times funnier to her. She will still fizzling with that giddiness that Amity had kissed into her and now it was all spilling out.

To be honest, listening to a teenage girl gush and squeal about her girlfriend did not seem like something Hunter would ever willingly subject himself to.

But this was Luz. His friend, Luz.

He lightly pinched the pudge of her cheek. “Heeeey. You wanna tell me all about it, don't you?”

Luz snapped her head over to gawk at him, astonished. And then the excitement took hold and her hands started flapping and she looked about ready to explode with delight. Her mouth was already flying open to give every solitary detail of her evening with Amity Blight.

But then she stopped, a crease forming on her brow. He caught that unreadable look she gave him and the way her eyes skimmed over the books that scattered the floor around them.

“Hmmm.” She stroked her chin with an over dramatic 'thinking' face. “Y'know what? I'll think I'll keep it all to myself.”

“Oh, really~?” Grinned Hunter. “I can only imagine all the romantic schmaltzy sickening stuff that occurred tonight. Miscellaneous fluff, right?”

Judging by the blood that stained her cheekbones, he must have been correct.

“Hey, Hunter.” She said quietly, resting her weight against his side. “You've been lost in your books for hours now. Would you mind telling me all about the most interesting you read about today? Reading myself is fine but it's way better to hear all about it from a bona fide nerd.”

Frankly, it was embarrassing how fast the giddiness practically electrocuted him and suddenly he found himself rambling. He rambled until his voice gave up but it didn't bother him at all because it was just Luz.

Luz hung on every word he said.

#the owl house #toh #luz nozeda #the golden guard #toh Hunter #lumity

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djemsostylist · 3 years

Text

This is not Eda Yildiz's Story...

With SCK’s return in season 2 and this highly polarizing plot, I’ve seen a lot of talk and debate about plot and character and the direction of the show. I’ve complained enough on my tumblr that I think it’s pretty obvious where I stand, but lately I’ve been thinking less about what I hate and rather why it doesn’t work. Like it or hate it, I think we can all agree that the plot and direction of the show is strange. The story has been a mess, arguably, since the early teens. Once we’d finished Ayse’s initial arc, it was clear we were moving into “plot” controlled territory, and that trend continued. I don’t think anyone can deny that the new story follows a similar narrative “shift” that seems to have dominated the story since the 30s. It feels different, and I think that feeling has continued even with the return of the original writer. It sort of crystallized for me when I was watching one of summer’s new show, Cam Tavanlar. 40 minutes in and we had yet to meet the male lead, and it was then that I realized that’s it.

I’ve seen a lot of talk about how feminist SCK is, and how this is “Eda’s” story. Fans have long asked the question “when is Eda going to graduate?” and it’s a valid question if Eda is our main character, since that is one of her two primary motivations. It's worth noting before we begin that I like Eda--I loved her for the first 28 episodes, her portrayal by Hande is excellent, and she is a fun and easy character to love. But rewatching the early episodes of the show and then watching Cam Tavanlar made me realize the issue at hand: this isn’t Eda’s story, and she is not, nor has she ever been, the main character. The story of SCK is the story of Serkan Bolat--I just don’t think anyone realized it.

Let’s think about Eda for a moment. When we meet Eda, she is a down-on-her-luck college drop out. She’s lost her scholarship and is stuck working at her aunt’s flower shop until she figures out what to do with her life. From the first episode, we learn a few things. She has two main goals--graduate, and be with the man she loves. We also learn a little about her character--she is determined, strong-willed, stubborn, impulsive, kind-hearted, and loving. She believes in seeing the best in people (unless their name is Serkan Bolat), and she values family and friends above almost everything else. Her introduction shows her as slightly frazzled, a little overwhelmed, and very young.

Over the next 11 episodes, we learn surprisingly little else about her. These are the things we know:

She lives with her aunt after her parent’s untimely death which affects her to this day.

She blames her grandmother for their death and is scared of her control.

She and Melo have known each other since they were children.

She works with orphans and loves the idea of helping children.

She loves plants and flowers.

She likes dogs.

She has plans for two children someday.

She wants to study in Italy.

She used to own a charm bracelet.

She is claustrophobic, which is likely connected to her fainting when she is stressed because of a claustrophobic situation when she learned of her parents’ passing.

What we don’t know could fill books. We don’t know exactly why she blames her grandmother for their death. We don’t know if Eda actually knows/has met her grandmother after her aunt took her and left. We don’t know how she met or knows either Ceren or Fifi. We don't know why she wants to be a landscape architect, or what drew her to want to study in Italy. We don’t know why she never pursued any other options when she lost her scholarship. We don’t know how she got the scholarship in the first place (grades, essay, project, some combination?). We don’t know her long term goals other than graduate and get married. Does she want her own company, is there a project she really wants or a company she would love to work for? We don’t really even know her feelings on relationships and marriage. How long did she date Cenk? How did they meet? What did she hope for their future? We don’t know anything about her childhood or how she was raised, and we aren’t even that clear on her relationship with her aunt, since it vacillates from almost no guidance at all to extremely controlling and manipulative. The point is, Eda is still, even 39 episodes in, more a collection of traits than a fully realized character.

Eda starts Episode 1 as a headstrong, independent, impulsive, kind, strong-willed, determined woman who wants to graduate and be with the man she loves. She ends episode 12 exactly the same--different man, same goals, same traits. She ends the way she starts.

The next 12 are the same. Eda starts as a headstrong, independent, impulsive, kind, strong-willed, determined woman who wants to graduate and be with the man she loves. She ends episode 24 the same way. This time, everything is the same as it was 12 episodes ago--same man, same goals, same traits. Again, what changes does Eda truly go through in these episodes? Any? Does she learn to think before she acts? Does she learn to temper her stubbornness? Does she define her future goals?

Let’s look at Serkan Bolat. When we meet Serkan, he is the successful CEO of an architecture firm returning from a business trip. His main goal--his only goal--is to achieve success and recognition in business. We also learn a little about his character--he is a stubborn, strong-willed, independent, closed-off man who prioritizes work over everything. He believes love is a fairy tale, and that all relationships are ultimately contracts no different from work contracts. His introduction is calm, cool, collected, and in control.

Over the next 11 episodes, we learn A LOT about Serkan. We learn:

He had an older brother he was very close to. His brother was the golden child and the center of his family, who was a musician. We learn that Serkan was very close to him, and that his brother’s death rocked the foundations of his entire family.

He was sent away by his father to boarding school at an early age because his mother had a mental breakdown and couldn’t cope and his father wasn’t capable of handling it.

A lot about his relationship with his parents, their goals and expectations for him, and why he is so closed off and has a hard time making meaningful connections as a result of how he was raised.

That he has wanted to be an architect since he was a child, which is how long he has loved magic and the stars.

He studied astronomy in college.

He believes in supporting the education of young people.

He rescued his dog.

He moved home to be close to his mother who suffers from agoraphobia.

Where he met all of his close friends and enemies.

His feelings on relationships and marriage.

His fears and insecurities.

His hypochondria.

His various talents (horseback riding, car racing, swimming, guitar playing).

In fact, there is very little we don’t know about Serkan Bolat.

Serkan starts episode 1 as a strong-willed, closed-off, business minded asshole who believes all relationships are contracts and doesn’t believe in love. He ends the first 12 as a more open, giving, softer version of himself, who believes in love and the importance of a relationship and whose goal is no longer just to be a businessman, but to prioritize the needs of the woman he loves over his own.

Over the next 12 episodes, we see Serkan learn to navigate what it means to be in a relationship--to learn to trust, to give and take, to let go of control, or let his feelings guide him, and to be open and honest with what he feels and how he loves. We go from a Serkan who couldn’t say the word “love” when talking in private to his best friend and thought apologizing by email was the best choice, to a man who can sit in a room full of people and declare openly his love for the woman beside him. When the series comes to a close in 28, we have a Serkan Bolat whose priority is love and family, and whose main goal is to become a husband and father.

Serkan, from episodes 1-28, experiences an entire arc, from consummate businessman to family man. He goes from closed and cold to open and warm. From a man who can’t even bring himself to explain that he doesn’t love his ex-girlfriend, to a man who can openly sit and talk about how much he loves his fiancee. He goes from a man whose friends drift around the periphery of his life, to a man whose newest friend is a former business rival. He grows and changes and develops, and each of the storylines, from the fake contract in 1-12 to the breakup in 13-24, to working towards marriage in 25-28, all bring this about.

Even the story is shot to show us Serkan's pov. How many times do we see Eda through his eyes? How many times do we get to focus on Serkan and his reactions, whether it’s to Eda, to news, to his feelings? Think about it. If the story is really about Eda, then all the focus in the teens should be on Eda. And while we certainly see her reactions, the story is squarely centered on Serkan and his feelings. 13 is about his relationship with his father, dealing with his company in crisis, and making the choice to go to Italy with Eda. 14 is about him coming to grips with the news and deciding what he wants to do. 15/16 are watching him deal with the fallout and the loss of Eda in his life. 17 is about his fears and hopes for children and a family with Eda. 18/19 are him coming to realize how desperately he wants and needs her in his life. Eda gets reaction time sure, but she’s not the focus--Serkan is. Think about the episodes I just described--what does Eda really do in any of them?

Even their family and friends. Eda’s life is filled with people who are less characters and more set dressing for her story. Ayfer begins and ends our series as a character who seems to be whatever the narrative requires--she has no real defining personality traits, and her backstory is nonexistent. She has no life beyond Eda and the girls, and it isn’t even until after Ayse is gone that we start to see hints of her maybe becoming a real character. The results were disappointing, but I give props to the writers for giving Ayfer some kind of plot beyond “the flower shop is suddenly in a monetary crisis”. Fifi, Ceren, and Melo don’t fare much better. Ceren we know has the desire to be a shoe designer and has a rich lawyer daddy. She at least gets a side plot with Engin where we can see her as more of a person than Fifi, who was basically never a character at all. Melo fares the best, although much like Eda, she is boiled down to a few basic traits that don’t change. Eda’s life is otherwise devoid of color and life--no neighborhood friends or acquaintances, no backstory for her childhood. She seems to spring into our story like a fairy fully formed, and there is no real effort made to develop her at all.

Contrast this to Serkan’s family, where we get to watch not only his parents, but also Engin and even Piril and Ferit, grow and change. We see Aydan go from a stubborn, nasty, judgmental woman to a woman who is kind, open, and supportive of her son and the woman she wants to be her daughter. We see his father is more than merely an absent dad, but a man who is so stuck in his ways he is unable to open up--until Eda. (That his story is ruined is neither here nor there). Engin goes from a goofy sidekick to a competent husband and. Even Piril learns to unclench, Ferit goes from a doofy, hanger on to one of Serkan’s greatest supports.

The point is, the story of SCK is the story of how Serkan Bolat learned to open himself up to love, family, and the possibility of a life beyond work. That Eda is an essential part of that story goes without saying, but it is, ultimately, his story. It’s funny, but I remember at the end of 28 saying that I missed Serkan Bolat. My friends laughed at me “he’ll be back next week” and while at the time I was being dramatic, I realized it’s true. Because Serkan Bolat’s story was done at the end of 28 episodes. When he made the decision to get married to the woman he loves, to prioritize her over everything, to become a husband and father, his story came to a beautiful and natural close. Their love story was really his story, the story of two people who came together and loved each other, and the ways in which that love allowed him to live a full life.

Any story that would come after centered on Serkan wouldn’t make sense. At best, we could have a few episodes of Serkan as a married man, but really, he doesn’t have much else to give us. So, if the story was going to continue, something had to change. And that means finding a new character’s story to tell. Eda, naturally, fits the bill. Since her story and growth has taken a back seat to Serkan, it makes sense to pivot and make her the main character. At the end of 28, one of her goals has been fulfilled--be with the man she loves. Therefore, naturally, the next part of the story, the story she will now be telling, will be the other half of that goal--graduate and become a successful architect.

As Eda steps into the lead role, we no longer have a need to focus on a story about two people falling in love and how that love grows and changes them. That story was Serkan’s story, and the new story we are telling has Serkan in the supporting role, while Eda learns to navigate the corporate world. Her story is that of a woman who must balance work and life, motherhood and the job, family and friends while also running a successful business. In this new story, we have a time jump (5 years, which is necessary both because with covid we can’t have babies on set and also because they have found the perfect actress to portray their daughter). Serkan is taking more of a backseat role, having already achieved so many of his professional goals, so while he still is a successful CEO, he also has time to take care of their child and run the minutia of day to day business life while Eda stretches her wings and becomes the business woman she has dreamed of being.

In the final episodes, we would watch as Eda goes from a headstrong, willful, stubborn, impulsive young woman, to a strong, smart, business savvy boss who continues to put her family--her husband, children, and friends--in the forefront of her life. Their love story is now merely a backseat to Eda’s growth and journey.

Except, that’s not what they did. They made Eda the main character but then tried to retell a love story that had already concluded. And to do that, they needed to reset. Everything. After all, how do you retell a love story that has already finished? How do you retell a love story that we’ve already seen playout? How do you tell a love story between two people that has had a beginning, a middle and an end? The answer, it seems, is to start over. Scrap all previous growth, character progress, and storytelling from the first arc with one of your characters, and set him right back at square 1. Or, as it appears, square -10. Take your new main character, and change her. Tweak her just enough to make her work for this new and improved story by removing enough of her core to fit in the plot. Then, move forward from there, and pray the audience doesn’t see what you’ve done until it’s far too late.

So there it is. The fundamental problem with SCK. It’s not about liking or hating it--people like what they like, and this isn’t a judgement on anyone who is fine with the new plot. I’m hardly an expert writer, and perhaps I’m overlooking some missing nuance. But I don’t think you can argue that this new direction is good. It may be enjoyable, which is always subjective, but it’s not good. I don’t think it’s the sort of thing people will look back on and say “Oh, what an excellent piece of writing and characterization!” Hardcore Ayse stans will, I think, they seem impervious to critique or critical thinking, but a read on the fandom at large seems to indicate that most people accept that the plot itself is nonsensical, but they are here for Hande and Kerem and a cute little actress and not much else. To them, having Hanker on screen for another 10 episodes is enough, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I just think that it could have been so much more, and that’s what makes this so strange. But I guess maybe that’s what happens when not even the writer realizes who her own main character truly is.

#sen çal kapımı #sen cal kapimi #sck #eda yıldız #serkan bolat #this isn't a complaint post i swear #it's about how the plot has been failing since the 30s and why #it's because serkan is no longer the main character #and he always was #but when they tried to make eda the main character in a love story that had already been told #it meant they had to reset everything and change characters to fit

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psychovigilantewrites · 4 years

Text

Don’t Call Me That Pt. 2

Wordcount: 10,129

A/N: I thought this part 2 would total up to 10k words, but when it hit 10k, I realised that I was only about 65 percent done. So based on the responses I got from tumblr, I decided to publish this first and then conclude the story later on!

TW: mentions of r*pe, mentions of torture, mentions of drugging someone (??) , mental breakdowns, vulnerability, descriptions of anxiety

Also, HERE’S MY FAV MEMES!! I’m so sorry that I can’t tag respective meme creators, because I saved them on my phone and some of them I forgot to include your usernames!! I’M SO SORRY!!! And honest to god is wear there were more but i must have lost them im so sorry im so incompetent lmao

memeesss

You glanced at your phone.

It had already been a week in Hawaii with your friends, and Jason still hadn’t texted you.

Well, you should have expected it, really. Jason was a traumatised, mentally ill man who had been locked away for two years.

Of course he wouldn’t text you first.

You had contemplated texting him over the past few days, typing in an array of messages ranging from a simple “hey” to a whole paragraph, and deleting all of it without hitting send. Did he even switch the phone on? Was he surfing the internet? Or was the phone still there on the shelf where you had left it.

It was driving you crazy.

“Do you have a boyfriend we don’t know about?” a voice called.

You looked up and squinted at the man who was standing up, looking down at you. You were sitting on the beach, a little further away from the ocean where your friends were.

“What are you talking about?” you asked as Alex plopped down next to you.

“You’ve been fidgety the whole time,” he pointed out, combing back his dark shoulder length hair with his fingers, getting sand in them. “We’re on a private beach, and you’ve been fussing over your phone. Who are you talking to?”

“No one,” you grumbled truthfully.

“The girls have been gossiping,” he gestured to the two other girls playing in the water. Your closest friends. It was four of you in that inseparable group.

“Of course they have,” you groaned, “Tell them to SAY IT TO MY FACE, COWARDS!”

You shouted at them, earning you grins and middle fingers from the distance.

“They’re saying you’re in love with someone,” he chuckled, “But they always say stupid shit like that without any evidence. But sometimes, a girl’s intuition is just right, ya know?”

“Stop beating around the bush, Alex,” you rolled your eyes at him despite knowing he couldn’t see past your sunglasses. “No, I’m not in love. I’m just waiting for a text that might never come.”

“Why don’t you text him first?”

“Because it’s not as simple as that!” you flailed your arms, “He’s… complicated. I can’t just text him anything.”

“Girl, unless he’s Mr. Nottingham, or related to you, then it really isn’t that complicated,” he joked.

“Ugh,” you groaned again, falling back onto the cloth you spread out. “Fine. I’ll text him.”

“Atta girl,” Alex grinned, “I’m gonna head back in the water. Join us after. Please?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you waved.

Opening the text window for what had to be the thirtieth time, you finally decided to text him.

You: Miss me yet?

Staring intently at the small ‘sent’ below your message bubble, you waited for it to turn to ‘delivered’.

“Yes!” you hissed. It meant that Jason had indeed switched on the phone.

But after twenty minutes you realised that it didn’t matter if Jason switched on the phone if he didn’t want to talk to you. Cursing to yourself, you decided to join your friends in the water, hoping it’ll distract you from checking your phone every five minutes for a text message that might never come.

After an hour of actually spending time with your friends, all four of you returned to the villa, your mood elevated. Checking your phone, you could have jumped for joy when you saw not one, but four consecutive texts in a row.

Jason: Duck off. Jason: What the duck Jason: WHY CANT I SAY DUCK Jason: I DUCKING HATE THIS

You couldn’t let out a string of giggles.

“Oooh, lover boy texted you back, huh?” Alex peeked over your shoulder. “Gimme, I wanna mess with him.”

He snatched your phone from your hands, surprisingly swift and smooth for a civilian, raising it way above his head so you couldn’t reach it and opened the camera.

“Alex-!”

He threw his other arm over your shoulder and pulled you into his bare chest, crushing you before you could tackle him down. He snapped a picture and sent it.

You froze in horror.

“Why the hell did you do that?!” you yelled.

“Relax, I was just messing around,” he gave your phone back to you.

“You don’t- you don’t understand, you fucking asshole!” you screamed.

“I- I’m sorry,” Alex stuttered, surprised by your reaction. “I was just-”

“Fuck off!” you snapped.

Panicking, you saw the little notification below the picture turning from Received to Read.

No. No, no, no, no.

This was bad.

You didn’t want to overwhelm Jason by sending him photos of your activities, thinking that he might react badly to the sudden surplus of familiarity and sense of being close to someone. Now you were worried that he might start to push you away in fear, reverting back to how he was before, and months of progress would have been all for nothing.

He would probably start swearing at you, or worse- switch off the phone and reject any form of communication completely. You hurriedly texted a reply.

You: I’m so sorry! I didn’t send that, my friend was just messing around.

Expecting the worst, you braced yourself for the inevitable. Instead, he sent you:

Jason: Who the hell is that guy?? Jason: Why are you in your underwear??

Your mouth hung open as you stared in shock at the screen. Because you took so long to recover from the shock, he sent you another message.

Jason: ???

Snapping out of it, you texted back.

You: That’s just my friend. Sorry about that! And I��m not in my underwear, it’s a bikini! I’m in Hawaii.

You waited for him to reply, but ten minutes of you sitting anxiously on the turquoise sofa in the middle of the villa listening to the waves of the beach outside from the open doors passed by, and he still hadn’t.

Perhaps he’s busy- wait. There’s no way Jason would be busy. You tried to coax him into a conversation.

You: You can turn off your autocorrect if you want to swear without hassle. Go to your Keyboard settings.

You plopped your phone on the empty seat next to you and dried your hair.

“Ugh, come on!” complained Natalie, fully clothed and washed, walking towards the open concept kitchen from her room. “You’re getting sand everywhere!”

“Woops, my bad,” you grinned.

“There’s a shower outside on the porch for a reason you know,” she flipped her blond beach waves at you, looking through the fridge.

Alex stood quietly at the kitchen island, now scared to say anything.

You rolled your eyes. “Just don’t do it again.”

“Okay, I promise!” he grinned.

Ding.

Jason: fuck. fuck. fucking fuck. Jason: found it. You: Proud of you, man.

You went to your room and showered, then dried off and put on fresh clothes while waiting for Jason to reply.

Of course, he never did.

Groaning, you had to remind yourself that he was not used to human interaction, and texting would come unnaturally to him. Which meant that you had to be the one to keep the conversation going.

You: Do anything interesting since I left?

You saw him typing almost immediately this time.

Jason: no.

Of course not.

You: Have you been eating properly? Jason: yeah.

God, it was so difficult. You were in the middle of typing something when he replied again.

Jason: yoire not my mom Jason: yoire Jason: YOIRE Jason: FUCK WHY CANR I TYPE

You felt guilty for laughing, but you did anyway.

You: Now that you switched off autocorrect, it won’t correct your typos and misspells anymore. Jason: i fucking knw that. Ive been gone for two yeard not twenty. You: Then why do you sound like a grandpa? Jason: BECAISE YOU GAVE ME A FUCKINF IPHONE!! I USED AN ANDROID!!

Now you were really laughing out loud, so you sent him a GIF of a woman rolling her eyes.

Jason: wtf you can send gifs throug text now?? You: Welcome to 2020, my dude. Jason: im not your fucking dude

Typing a reply, Jason interrupted you once again.

Jason: teach me how to do that

Smiling widely, you found that you couldn’t wait for the next week to pass by so you could go back and see him.

***

“How’s Jason?” you asked the minute you reached the Cave computers, panting from the run down.

“Wow, hello to you, too,” Dick chuckled, spinning towards you on the wheeled chair.

It was a Sunday afternoon, and Bruce and Dick were in front of the computers, discussing a case that had connections to Bludhaven Police Department.

Gone for two weeks, you had a lot to catch up on.

“According to Alfred, he’s doing well,” Bruce answered, “Even started to ask for seconds last week. Now Alfred has been making portions for two.”

“He asked? For seconds?” you gasped. “How?”

“He left a note on the tray two days after you left. He’s been making meal requests, too. Texts Alfred in the morning to let him know.”

“Texted?!”

“Alfred slipped his number on the tray in case Jason wanted anything specific.”

“I slipped mine as well, but he hasn’t texted me yet,” Dick pouted.

“When did he start texting?” you ignored Dick.

“Last Sunday.”

So the same day you started texting him, then.

“He hasn’t texted me,” Dick sighed, looking dejected like a kid who was told Disneyland blew up.

“He’ll come around, Dick,” you offered him a smile, “I mean- he’s already texting Alfred!”

“Yeah,” he lamented.

“Okaaay, nice talk. I’m gonna go see him now, bye.”

You ran to the box, but stopped right before you opened the internal door. After checking your hair with your phone camera, you tried to stifle the butterflies in your stomach.

Ugh, you were so fucked.

Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door.

“Yeah,” Jason’s muffled grunt answered you.

Pushing it open, your eyes immediately went to the bed only to find that he wasn’t lounging around reading a book like you expected. Instead, your mouth dropped open when you saw him on the floor, doing push ups.

Shirtless.

Jason had changed drastically during the two weeks you were gone. You noticed that he had definitely gained weight, as well as muscle mass.

“Uh, wh-what are you..?”

He stood up, and you swore your heart skipped a beat.

His muscles were much more prominent and defined now, and he looked like he was going to achieve Dick’s physique if he kept it up for another month or two.

“Welcome back,” he simply said before taking gulps from a water bottle you definitely had not seen before.

“Thanks,” you walked over and sat on his bed, “I’m glad to see that you decided to start taking care of yourself again.”

“What, this? This isn’t for me.”

“Huh?” you cocked your head in curiosity.

“I… I lost a lot of muscle mass. My body- it isn’t how it used to be,” he frowned, “And I can’t have you lusting over it when it’s not at its peak.”

“What- what do you-?” you stammered, suddenly getting hot.

Jason merely smirked and then continued his push ups.

You watched as his developing muscles rippled, a thin layer of sweat making his skin glisten in the light. It was amazing how he had progressed so much in such a short period of time. You guessed that he must have just been occupying his days by working out.

No wonder he’s been asking for seconds.

“Enjoying the view?” Jason breathed, pausing with his arms straightened, his head angled upwards towards you.

“No, shut up,” you looked away.

“Here, be useful,” he started, “Sit on my back.”

“What?”

“I’ve gotten used to my own body weight, I need extra resistance,” he elaborated, “Come on, sit on my back.”

“But it’s all sweaty,” you whined, pretending to protest. Definitely pretending- for the sake of your own dignity.

You got up and went over towards him anyway.

Carefully, awkwardly, you sat on his back as you would a park bench. You rested your palms flat against his sticky skin to stabilise yourself. Suddenly, he dipped down without warning, earning a soft squeal from you.

“Fuck, you’re heavy,” he strained, but continued to do the push ups. He was shakier, struggling with the weight, and after twenty-five, he paused. “Okay, I think I’m done.”

But before you had the chance to get off him, he suddenly stood up, throwing you off his back to have you fall on the floor on your ass.

“Jason, you assho-” you clapped your hand over your mouth, realising what you had just said.

Oh, no. Oh, fuck.

He stood towering over you, his jaw clenching as he stared you down with his cold, blue eyes.

“I’m so sorry! I forgot! It was a reflex and-”

“Whatever. I don’t care anymore,” he rolled his eyes, reaching for his bottle.

You blinked. Then scrambled to your feet.

“You don’t care anymore?” you repeated slowly.

“I don’t care if you call me that,” he huffed.

That made your heart swell and melt at the same time.

“I got used to your voice,” he mumbled, expression changing as he looked away. He frowned, as if he was angrily staring at a distant object.

You had just guessed that he didn’t like to be called his name because of a sense of familiarity, but now you were thinking that there was much more to that than what you had originally thought.

“So, I can call you… Jason?” you tested.

“Yeah, call me whatever you want,” he sat on his bed, looking up at you.

You smiled, thankful that you had finally crossed that bridge. “You know, I could get some workout stuff for you? Weights, bands, that bar thing that you can put at your door frame for pull ups…”

“You’d like to see that, huh?” he smirked.

“You flatter yourself too much,” you scoffed.

“How was Hawaii?” he changed the subject all of a sudden.

“It was fun. Beach was great, locals were great, loved the vibe- what are you doing?”

Jason had stood back up and started to walk closer and closer to you, getting all up in your space like a predator finally cornering its prey. You kept on taking steps back until your ass hit the edge of the desk.

Nowhere else to run, your heart started hammering. He leaned in, his hands resting on the desk on either side of your body, trapping you against the table and himself. You looked up and gulped. You could almost feel the heat radiating from his bare skin.

“Are you afraid of me?” he muttered lowly.

“Why would I be afraid of you?” you whispered.

“You tell me,” he said.

“Well, I’m not afraid of you,” you stated.

“Oh really?” he raised an eyebrow. Then, you felt his hand grip your wrist tightly, pressing down on your skin with his fingers. “Your pulse is very fast for someone who’s not afraid of me.”

“It’s because you’re all up in my space!” you argued.

“Didn’t look like you mind when your friend,” he snarled the word, “was all up in your space.”

“My friend? What- oh,” you widen your eyes in realisation, “You mean Alex.”

“Is that his name?”

“Alex is just a friend, nothing more. He’s just someone I’m close to,” you reassured him.

Which then made you think about why you were reassuring him.

“Oh, you were definitely close to him,” Jason growled.

“Wait- are you… jealous?” a smile creeped your lips.

He scowled at you for a few moments, and you could see the little tics in his expression that said he was annoyed. The flared nostrils, the muscles of his jaw clenching and unclenching, the very slight twitches at the corner of his left eye.

“No,” he finally said, taking a step back from you. “I’m going to shower. Since you couldn’t stop staring at me, the invitation is still open for you to join.”

“You know, I’m starting to think that maybe I prefer it when you were broody instead of this. Please go back to your depressive mental state,” you sarcastically replied.

Jason barked out an actual laugh. Though his laugh was odd, like someone who’s only now discovering that humans were indeed capable of laughter, you found comfort in it. It was no longer hysterical and devoid of humor. He was getting better, learning to embrace a connection with someone, and it made you extremely happy.

“Maybe I should,” he answered with a cheeky glint in his eye, “Then that way you can give me more sponge baths.”

He left you alone in his room, flushed and at a loss for words.

***

“I find it very odd that people would yell ‘Batman!’ when they realise you’re there,” you rambled while climbing out of the Batmobile.

You were absolutely drenched from the downpour that had been going on all night. It was 4 am on a friday night and you had just returned from patrol.

Bruce took off his cowl immediately, revealing tired eyes despite the relatively slow night.

“It’s like they’re saying ‘Look at me! I’m here! Please knock me out or hang me upside down from the-’ Bruce?”

Bruce had stiffen, staring at something behind you. You turned around and was shocked to see Jason in the mid-distance, sitting on the ground outside the black box that was his room, leaning against the cool metal.

He himself was staring intently at Bruce, not even sparing you a glance.

You looked back and forth between the two men, sensing a high tension silent conversation.

Then, Bruce’s eyes relaxed and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards ever so slightly in that hardly-there-Bruce-smile.

He gave Jason one stiff nod of understanding, then walked away to the computers at the other end of the cave, leaving you alone with his son.

Jason relaxed as you walked over to him, wringing your hair to squeeze out all the excess water.

“Aw, you waited up for me,” you teased, standing in front of him with your hands on your hips, grinning away.

“Fuck off,” he snorted, “I was bored.”

You noticed him clenching his jaw as he looked at you from top to bottom, eyes lingering longer on the ‘R’ on your left breast.

Ah, it was his first time seeing you in your uniform.

His uniform.

Suddenly, you felt like an imposter in those colors and had the strong urge to rip the uniform off.

You wanted to say something, but Jason beat you to it.

“There were times in that shit hole where I wanted to burn that uniform off my skin,” he grit, “Kept on thinking to myself. I wish I never became Robin. I wish I never met Bruce Wayne.”

Your heart shattered at his confession. It was extremely rare for him to bring up anything related to his two year torture, and the previous times were never in such detail.

Realising you needed to say something, you opened your mouth. “I’m so-”

“Don’t,” he cut you off, “You don’t have to say anything.”

Yes, sometimes you knew that he just wanted you to listen.

You nodded silently and went to sit next to him on the floor.

“It… suits you,” he forced out.

“Hmm?”

“The uniform. It suits you. More than it ever suited me,” he grumbled.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I think your ass would look quite nice in green,” you joked, nudging his shoulder with your own.

He chuckled deeply, nudging you back even harder- hard enough for you to lose your balance and topple sideways, earning another breathy laugh from Jason.

***

Another month passed by, and you found yourself falling deeply for Jason- much to your dismay. You knew Jason wasn’t ready for any kind of intense emotions, and that it would take a very long time before he was.

So you swallowed your emotions down, stifling them and hoping it would go away.

The two of you had developed a pleasant friendship, often bickering and joking around, with Jason teasing you about your obvious physical attraction to him.

He also now occasionally waited outside his cube for you to come back after patrol, never really venturing too far from it, and still avoiding contact with both Bruce and Dick. Only you and Alfred had the privilege to speak to him.

Even then, sometimes you would visit his room but only getting a “I’m not feeling it today. Please leave.”

Understandingly, you would nod silently and leave him alone. You knew he still had his bad days, sometimes not eating his meals.

But mostly, he was getting better, both mentally and physically.

With nothing much to do the whole day, Jason was now obsessed with working out and bulking up. He now had a few simple equipment in his room- mostly weights.

You figured that it was a coping mechanism for him, a healthy outlet to channel all his rage and negative emotions into.

But come on. He was getting even hotter and it was making it extremely difficult for you to stop yourself from checking him out, fantasizing about him when he wasn’t around. Still, you couldn’t complain. Even though he hadn’t reached Dick’s size yet, he was very near to it, and his naturally bigger body frame and build made up for the still developing muscles.

Hell, he was now sporting a six pack.

But you knew that he was still not as well as you hoped he would be. The bloodshot eyes he had was proof that he doesn’t sleep well- and you soon found out why.

It was a little past midnight on your night off from patrol, and you were using your break in the best way you could think of- by sleeping. Something woke you up that night.

A soft knock on your door.

You frowned, eyes still closed, wondering who it was.

Bruce would usually knock twice. Strong, clear, and with purpose. Dick would start pounding rapidly on your door, annoying you intentionally. Alfred would give three soft knocks followed by a ‘Miss?’

Your eyes flew open. There was only one other person in the manor.

Throwing your covers aside, you jumped out of bed and rushed to the door to open it.

Jason stood outside your door in the dim lights of the hallway, frowning and running his fingers nervously through his messy dark hair. He was wearing a t-shirt with boxers, standing awkwardly.

“Jason?” you hated how your voice sounded so sleepy. You cleared your throat. “Are you okay? Would you like to come in?”

He nodded silently, and you made way for him to enter before closing the door behind you.

“Sit on the bed,” you told him while jumping back into yours, sitting up cross legged.

The bed dipped when he sat on it, copying your motion and crossed his legs.

You waited for him to say something, your eyes straining to catch his in the dark. But he just remained silent, staring into space and avoiding your eyes.

“How did you know this was my room?” you asked, starting with a light topic.

“Only one that was locked. I already know where everyone else sleeps,” he explained.

“That’s right,” you realised, “I tend to forget that you’re probably even more familiar with the manor than I am.”

“Did you know there’s an old dumbwaiter in Bruce’s room?” you saw him smirk from the shadows that was casted on his face, “I used to hide in there, waiting to catch him off guard.”

“What? Why?”

“Dick and I, we had a bet,” he recalled the memory, “Whoever gets to surprise Bruce first would owe the other a special favor. Only rule was that we had to have it on video as proof.”

You appreciated that moment, the first time he ever spoke about both Dick and Bruce as a fond memory.

“I won, by the way,” he continued, “But- I forgot to press record on my phone.”

“Oh, no,” you groaned for him.

“Yeah, and Dick refused to believe me,” he chuckled, “That old man didn’t want to admit it either. But I swear- the look on his face when I jumped out while he and some model were going at it- priceless.”

Your jaw dropped, and then you burst into a fit of laughter, tears filling your eyes.

“You- you- you jumped out on him while he was having sex?!” you squealed.

“Yeah,” he grinned, “I didn’t even care that it sort of scarred me, because I managed to catch Batman off guard.”

The both of you laughed, his deep voice mingling with your own on that quiet night.

“I’m glad you’re here, Jason,” you smiled warmly at him.

But then, his smile fell.

“I hate my name now.”

“I’m sorry,” you began, “You said it was okay to call you that, so I-”

“No, it’s fine,” he started running his fingers through his hair again, “It’s just- I don’t know.”

“You can tell me anything,” you reassured, “It won’t leave this room. I promise.”

He looked at you, worry in his eyes. “Okay. Fine. Yeah.”

You waited for him to begin.

He took a deep breath. “I’ve been having nightmares. Almost every night. It’s always the same one.”

“You want to tell me about it?” you prompted him after waiting for him to continue.

“I hate my name because he said it a lot. Joker,” he scowled, “After repeatedly burning my skin for my name, it’s like that’s all he said. In that annoying, high pitched, sing-song voice of his. Jason, Jason, Jason. It made me hate my name. It made me hate hearing it.”

“I- I didn’t know how much time passed when I was in there,” he continued, “But, fuck. It was- it was hell. And the worst part was that I kept on waiting for Bruce. Waiting and hoping for him to find me and save me. I was so desperate. You- I-”

He choked on his words. His eyes were squeezed shut and his lips tight.

You wanted to reach out to him, hug him, tell him that everything was okay now. But you didn’t. You waited for him to collect himself so he could finish telling you his story, just like how he wanted to.

“Anyway, I- despite all that,” he sighed, “That was the only thing that kept me sane. I kept on clinging onto the hope that he was out there, searching. And that helped for a while. Until- until that happened.”

He was breathing heavily now, fidgeting more. Jason was definitely getting increasingly agitated the deeper he went.

“Fuck,” he breathed, “Fuck.”

The moment you realised he was crying was when he let out a sniffle. You automatically took his hand in yours, squeezing it as a form of comfort.

“It’s okay,” you told him, “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.”

“No,” he shook his head, “I need to. I have to. I can’t take this anymore. Keeping everything in, I feel like I’m about to fucking explode.”

“Okay, then take it slow,” you said, “No rush. Anytime you’re ready.”

He nodded, eyes still closed, as if he was afraid of letting you see him cry.

“One night,” he began, “I think- I don’t know what was different- but I think something went wrong for him. Or right? That’s how it was. Tormenting me was fun, but it was also an outlet for him. But at the same time when he was happy, he also tortured me. He came to me, and- injected me with some sort of drug. That never happened before. He made sure that my head was clear whenever he hurt me so that I could feel everything he did.”

“But- he did- and- immediately, I felt weak,” he continued, “I mean, I was already weak. But my head. It was cloudy. I remember everything clearly, but it was like my brain couldn’t process it, couldn’t communicate with my body. I felt like I was looking out through a window that was my eyes- like I was in someone else’s body, experiencing someone else’s moments.”

“He released me,” Jason’s voice was now barely a whisper. “He released me from the ropes, and I fell to the floor. And then he- he- fuck.”

He let go of your hand and started pulling at his hair, rocking back and forth on your bed. He was sobbing now, his shoulders jerking up in sharp intakes of breaths. The only thing you could do was to stay silent and hold back your own tears.

You rested your hand on his knee, giving him a textile connection with reality so he doesn’t fall into his own thoughts.

“You- he- he- ruh- ruhp-”

Your heart sank to your stomach in horror as you realised what Jason was trying to say. It was as if you were plunged into icy water, chills running down your spine at the true revelation of what he had gone through in that cursed cell.

“Oh, no,” you breathed.

“He pushed me down,” he choked, “Pushed me down and climbed on top. I- I couldn’t even fight him. I was- I was conscious the whole time and I knew what was happening, but I couldn’t fucking do anything.”

Your tears were falling down now, both at the sight of Jason looking so vulnerable and fragile, and at his confession. Not being able to help yourself, you threw your arms over his neck and crashed into his hard body, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.

His arms immediately wrapped around you, clutching you so hard it was painful as he buried his own face into your shoulder.

“And he kept on saying my name,” he said in muffled cries, “Jason, Jason, Jason. The whole fucking time. And- and I knew. He didn’t do it for pleasure. He did it to torment me. He- he didn’t even- he didn’t even finish.”

Jason sobbed into your skin for the next few minutes, his tears soaking through your night shirt. “But I did. Even though it was painful. Fuck, the pain was worse than anything he had ever done to me before. But- he- I- I fucking came.”

The both of you were sobbing now, his ragged breaths mingling together with your own on that quiet night.

His grip on you was tight, as if he thought that if he let go, you would disappear. So he clung onto you with all his might to keep you there with him as he recalled the horrific events.

“That's what broke me. I was so disgusted with myself. I hated myself. And he- he saw everything and- and laughed. He laughed so hard, I thought he was going to choke and die. I’ve never seen him laugh like that. And I remember every single fucking moment of being helpless on that fucking floor while he- fuck. Fuck.”

“And then he left. He left me on the floor bleeding and I never saw him again. And I went fucking insane. I tried to kill myself so many fucking times. So many times, I lost count. That’s what I dream about every night. His laughs, and his ‘Jason, Jason, Jason’.”

And that was that. That was the story.

The end of Jason Todd.

The both of you cried long and hard that night in each other’s arms. Eventually, you both lied down on the pillows together, underneath the covers.

“Please don’t tell Bruce,” he whispered to you.

Your head was on his chest, his big arms wrapped around your waist, your legs tangled with his.

You smiled at that. Even with the trauma, even with the sense of abandonment he felt, he still wanted to protect Bruce from knowing the truth.

Because the both of you knew that the truth would kill him.

“I promise,” you whispered back.

And then the both of you fell asleep together.

***

“Has Jason been sleeping in your room with you?” Bruce asked you on one fine Saturday morning at breakfast.

It had been about a week and a half since the first time Jason knocked on your door and poured out his feelings to you.

“He gets nightmares,” you tried to explain.

He thought that if he told you everything, the nightmares would stop. But it didn’t. But he then realised that the only thing that made it better was sleeping by your side, having someone there to wake him up from living his own hell in a loop.

“And do the two of you… Just sleep?” Bruce frowned.

“Yes!” you widen your eyes in horror at the insinuation. “Bruce! Come on!”

“I know you have feelings for him, and I’m sure he does for you as well. But I don’t think something like that is what Jason needs right now,” he stated.

“Yes, I know!” you groaned at the thought having that kind of conversation with him, “Jesus, Bruce. I know. I’m just there to wake him up or help him fall back asleep. Nothing more.”

Bruce nodded, deep in thought. “Has he… told you? About what happened?”

You pursed your lips. “Yes.”

“You’re not going to tell me?”

“No.”

“Hmm,” his frown went deeper. “I understand. He will tell me when he is ready.”

“Exactly,” you smiled, hiding the fact that Jason may never tell Bruce what happened. Never the full story.

“He still hasn’t left the manor?”

“No,” you sighed, “I asked him if he wanted some fresh air. Just outside the main door, not even going down the steps. But he refused. Told me to, and I quote, ‘Fuck off’.”

“Well, he’s only just left the cave, and it’s just to your room,” Bruce thought out loud, “It’s still progress. Especially since he’s been talking to you about the past.”

“He only spoke about it one time,” you said, “And then never again.”

“I see,” he hummed, “And you’re okay with him sleeping with you?”

“Next to me, Bruce, sleeping next to me,” you corrected.

“Yes, and you’re okay with that?”

“Yeah, it’s all good,” you assured him, “I can kick him out any time I want- but I don’t want to. He looks like a lost puppy sometimes.”

“An angry lost puppy.”

You chuckled at that and couldn’t agree more.

*** While Jason got the sleep he needed when he was next to you, it was counterproductive on your end. You had never been with anyone before, and definitely had not slept on the same bed with another man.

So to feel his body heat and breaths against your skin, his occasional light snores, it made your mind go on hyperdrive.

Most of the time, the two of you would just lie down, your back against his front, or your backs against each other, or both on your backs just staring at the ceiling- and talked. You would be the one talking the most, of course, about anything you could think of. You would tell him about your day, your patrols, something you read about online, or the current news.

But that one particular night during week three of him sleeping next to you, the two of you were silent. It wasn’t an awkward or uncomfortable silence, but the kind of silence that was pleasant and was better described as a peaceful quiet.

You had your back pressed against his front and his arm was lazily draped over your waist. It was a cold night, and you were wearing just a tank top and pyjama shorts, snuggling under the covers that went up all the way to your nose.

Shifting a bit while snuggling comfortably, you pressed yourself against Jason’s body to get more of his heat. But then, you were met with something poking against your lower back.

“Ngh, please ignore that,” Jason huffed.

Oh.

For some reason, you forgot that Jason was a physically healthy male who was capable of having sexual thoughts and feelings. All this while, you thought you were the only one.

“Are you- uh- is that- uh-” you stuttered, feeling your face flush with heat.

Feeling your body suddenly alert with excitement.

“Yes, it’s my fucking penis,” he grit almost angrily, “What, never heard of an erection before?”

“Of course I have!” you argued rather defensively, “It’s just- I’m surprised, that’s all.”

“Why?” he demanded, “You didn’t think I could get it up or something?”

“No, of course not!” you denied, “It just didn’t cross my mind, that’s all.”

A pause. Then-

“Well,” he sighed, “You wouldn’t have been wrong.”

Your mind blanked for a second.

“What do you mean?” you asked softly.

“It’s my- fuck- it’s my first time,” he confessed.

“Your first time getting an erection?” you gasped.

“No, you idiot,” he snapped, “It’s my first time getting hard since… since… then.”

Oh. Oh, you were an idiot.

“It’s just- after that- even when I was downstairs, alone and safe, I- I couldn’t,” he told you, “I kept on thinking back to that time and- and I couldn’t. I found it disgusting.”

And immediately, like someone doused you in cold water, any feeling of horniness you had when you first felt his erection against you disappeared. You just felt so sad for him, but also angry. Angry that he had to go through all of that, and angrier that there was nothing you could do about it.

“So, why do you think you’re getting it now?” you asked. Perhaps talking about it in an objective manner would help guide him through his thought process.

“Are you kidding me?” he scoffed, “You’re fucking pressing your ass against my dick, what did you think would happen?”

“Wait, what?” your eyes widen, “You’re hard because of me?”

“No shit,” he said, “You’re hardly wearing any clothes, too.”

You shouldn’t feel happy due to the circumstance and context, but there you were ecstatic that he found you attractive enough to pop a boner after so long.

“Fuck,” he sighed, suddenly pressing himself closer to you.

His hand that draped over your waist when to actually grip it. Then, then, he grinded his hard on against your ass.

“Mmm,” he rumbled deeply, “Feels good.”

There. That was it. You were once again flooded with the feeling of heat that pooled at your stomach, a tingling sensation started at your core. Feeling hot despite the low temperature of the night, you clenched your thighs together, needing the slight pressure.

“Yeah?” you whispered.

“Yeah,” he grinded on you again, and then unexpectedly let out a chuckle.

“What is it?” you smiled, loving it whenever you heard him laugh.

“I thought… For the longest time, I thought I was broken. That he broke me,” he revealed, “I thought I needed to get all Wingardium Leviosa on this little fucker.”

“Oh my God,” you laughed and groaned at the same time, “You’re so fucking embarassing.”

He laughed along with you and continued. “But now I’m hard and- and horny. You made me feel like I’m normal again. Like I’m sixteen again, and getting horny over everything.”

Sometimes, we take the normal things for granted. Food, shelter, clothes. In this case, it was a goddamned boner. In a way, Jason’s erection was symbolic- however funny it sounded. Getting your sexual appetite and need back after being so traumatised was a massive leap for many people who had experienced the same thing.

It meant that Jason was healing well.

“Does that make you happy?” you asked.

“Not particularly,” he admitted, “But I’m definitely not sad either.”

“That’s good enough for now, then,” you beamed.

“Yeah,” he breathed.

Another few moments of silence. You could feel it, his cock pushing into you. However tempted you were to push back and grind, you held yourself still.

“Uh, Jason?” you voiced.

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to like, take care of it?” you asked, “I mean. My bathroom is available. Or- there are many empty rooms.”

“No,” he simply stated.

“No?”

“No.”

“It’s kinda poking into me.”

“Just ignore it.”

“Ignore it?” you gaped, “How can I ignore it? You’re literally pressing it into my ass.”

“Well, then do you want to take care of it?” he teased.

You couldn’t argue back. “Fine, I’ll ignore it.”

He chuckled. “I’ll turn around.”

When he made the movement, you suddenly grabbed him by the wrist. “No, it’s fine. Stay here.”

You expected him to tease you like he usually would, make a crass comment, or even a ‘fuck off’.

Instead, he wrapped his arms around you again in silence, and the both of you drifted to sleep.

***

“Do you think this color suits me?” Natalie asked, holding up a floral red dress.

The four of you were at the mall in Diamond District. Now that high school was over, and everyone would be going off to separate colleges in a few months, you tried to spend time with each other as much as you could.

“Any color suits you, Nat,” you rolled your eyes, “You’re hot stuff.”

“Jesus, it’s like you’re shoving it in our faces at this point,” Sarah added, flipping her brunette hair to the side, tight curls flowing down.

“Aw, you guys,” Nat pretended to tear up, “I’m gonna miss you guys so much!”

“Not again,” Alex groaned, “We’ve been through this so many times.”

“I’m gonna be so miserable without you guys,” Natalie continued on, ignoring Alex’s interruption.

“I don’t know,” Sarah shrugged, “I think I’d enjoy New York. I can have pizza parties with the rats in my overpriced apartment.”

You chuckled at Sarah’s joke. Everyone was leaving Gotham except you. Deciding to continue with Robin, you opted for Gotham University- prestigious, old, and most importantly, close to home.

Your phone dinged in your pocket. You opened it to find texts from Dick.

Dick: OH MY GOD. Dick: I’m at the Manor. Dick: Was going to the Cave gym to work out. Dick: AND Dick: JASON IS HERE!!! WHAT DO I DO?!?!

That was new. Jason would usually just use whatever basic equipment he had in his room to work out. The fact that he was at the Cave’s sparring area where all the other fancier work out equipment were was out of the ordinary.

You: Just go. See if he reacts. If he suddenly stiffens and just stay there not doing anything, then leave. If he continues on, then it’s okay to stay- but don’t initiate anything! Dick: OKOKOK

You waited anxiously for Dick’s update. All four of you were now walking towards the food court, but you hardly listened to their bickering. Forty-five minutes passed before Dick texted you again.

Dick: OMG HE TALKED TO ME You: What did he say? Dick: He asked me to pass him his towel. You: That’s all he said? Dick: IT’S PROGRESS OKAY!!

Dick was right. It meant that Dick was now the third person Jason had spoken to. Adding another person to his list of contacts was definitely progress.

You were happy for him.

You:Is he still there? Dick: Nah he left Dick: But WOW he’s looking good. He must have been really going at it. I think he might get bigger than me soon You: All he does now is work out. He’s obsessed. Dick: Yeah I can tell

You decided to leave it at that for now and try to concentrate on your friends, but Dick sent another message.

Dick: ARE YOU TWO HAVING SEX?!?!

You spat out your drink, earning weird looks from everyone.

You: DICK!!!! WTF NO!!

Dick never replied.

***

“Can I ask you for a favor?” Jason asked, his voice breaking the silence of your dark room. The two of you were on your bed, lying down and staring at the ceiling.

“Of course,” you said. It didn’t matter to you what Jason asks for. He hardly ever asked for anything.

“Could you… Take me out tomorrow?” he requested, “If you’re not doing anything else, that is.”

“Uh, sure!” you nodded, surprised. “Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere,” he shrugged, “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, okay,” you hesitated, “But- are you sure? I mean, you don’t have to go so far so quickly. Maybe you should start with just going to the backyard?”

“No, I’ll be fine,” he insisted. “I’m not a kid.”

“Okay then,” you agreed. “Tomorrow.”

You kept on glancing anxiously at him the next day as he climbed into the passenger seat of your car. He was quiet, but looked perfectly fine.

Switching the engine on, you drove out of the garage and out the large automatic gates. Trees soon surrounded the lonely road on both sides as you descended downhill into town.

“So where are we going?” he asked.

“I thought Robinson Park would be nice,” you said. It was around three in the afternoon, yet Gotham was dark as though the day was ending. It was cloudy, skies grey and wind blowing.

“You’re taking me to a park?” he scoffed.

“It’s more quiet than anywhere else,” you reasoned with him, “Less people. Spacious. Lots of greenery.”

“Whatever.”

Reaching the parking space of the park, you noticed that there were a few cars. Mothers and nannies liked to bring children out to the park around that time. Joggers and teens, college students and retired elderly seeking a little escape from the high rise buildings of concrete and glass.

You turned the engine off and proceeded to open the door, only then noticing Jason stiffening. Looking over to him, you saw that his eyebrows were pulled down in a deep frown, his jaw clenched, his hands in fists on his knees.

You didn’t say anything or make any comment. Leaning back into your seat, you waited until Jason was ready.

About five minutes passed before he took a deep breath, gave you a nod, and then opened his door.

The two of you walked along a path at the park, going deeper inside and further away from your car. There were a few joggers around, some tourists, and some teens taking photos. You saw a group of kids in the distance playing frisbee, and the others were walking their dogs.

An empty bench stood in the middle of the park, overlooking a clearing. You headed there, Jason following closely behind.

“It’s a bit gloomy today,” you pouted, “As if Gotham could be anything other than that, of course.”

You looked at Jason.

He looked like a scared dog being brought out for the first time.

His jittery knees were bouncing rapidly, his wide eyes were darting at every movement, his forehead was covered with a thin layer of sweat, and his breathing was heavy.

“Woah, woah,” you reached out to him, putting an arm on his back. “It’s okay. I’m here. Just listen to me talk, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he gulped.

“Try to calm your breathing,” you instructed, “Deep breaths, Jason. In… out… In… Out… Yeah, see that’s great.”

“Yeah,” he breathed, now calmer. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you smiled warmly, “You’re doing just fine.”

“No, I’m not,” he strained, “I feel like everything is too big. Too vast. The fucking sky looks like it’s going to crash down on me and at the same time suck me up into a void.”

“And despite all you’re feeling right now, you’re not breaking down or anything, are you?” you tried, “You’re okay, Jason. This is progress.”

“I guess,” he sighed, “I’m just- I’m so used to having four walls and a ceiling. Now everything feels too big.”

“I understand,” you empathized, “Whenever you want to go back, just say the word. Or we can even just go and sit in the car. No problem.”

“Yeah, okay, let’s do that,” he stood up.

The walk back to the car was faster.

“Fuck, I’m so fucking pathetic,” he said, running his fingers through his hair.

“No, you’re not,” you reassured him, “That was great, Jason. Come on, it was your first time outside in two years and a half. Cut yourself some slack.”

“I’m so fucking broken,” he choked.

“Don’t say that,” you scolded, “You’re not broken. And you know what, even if you think you are, we can always fix it. Baby steps. Maybe we can do this once a week. We were out for like, ten minutes? Next week we’ll try fifteen. How’s that sound?”

“Twice a week,” he stated, “I just want to be normal again.”

“Okay, twice a week, then,” you agreed, “We’ll try again in a couple of days, okay?”

“Okay,” he paused, “Thank you.”

“No problemo,” you grinned, “Would you like to stay here a bit longer or shall we go back?”

“Let’s go back.”

“Wanna stop by the diner? You can wait in the car while I ask for a take-away?”

“...okay.”

***

Jason and you had gone out twice more. Once three days after the first time, and the other a week later. The second time he went out, he lasted twenty minutes, though you were sure he was being stubborn on his part. He looked like he was having a heart attack, but he insisted on staying until he hit the twenty minute mark.

The third time, he was much much better. Surprisingly so. The two of you sat down on that bench for half an hour, with you even leaving him alone for a few minutes to get two ice cream cones.

After that, you took him for a drive around the city. He seemed to be more comfortable in the car, so you went all the way from Robinson Park to Diamond District, and back to the manor.

Bruce seemed very pleased with your update, and you swore you could see him actually smile.

“Thank you,” he had told you. “You’ve done more than I could have ever asked of you.”

“It’s no problem, Bruce. Really,” you reassured him.

“I’m his father. He is my responsibility. It’s my fault he’s even in that state. I wish I could do more for him,” he said solemnly.

“The fact that you understand what he needs is more than helpful, Bruce,” you smiled, “Not many parents can do that. You understand and respect him. That’s enough for now.”

He simply nodded.

Ever since your scheduled outings, Jason had become more and more relaxed whenever he was in the manor. He now walked to the kitchen on occasion to mess with Alfred while he cooked meals for him, sometimes sitting in the living room lounging on the couch while reading. Most of the time, though, he was down at the sparring zone of the Cave, working out.

But at night, he would never fail to knock on your door.

And at that particular night, you found yourself in the same situation again while lying down on your side with your back to his front, for the fifth time.

“You officially have to stop calling yourself broken,” you grumbled, “Because that thing poking into my ass is definitely not broken.”

He chuckled lowly. “You complaining, sweetheart?”

Oh, and yes. Jason now had started calling you ‘sweetheart’. Why? You had no clue. It was just a thing that happened. The look on your face when he first slipped it in was probably a sight to behold.

“No shit, I’m complaining, Jason,” you groaned, “You haven’t jerked off, yet? Not even once?”

“Nope,” he popped the P, “I just… I don’t want to… I don’t want to come.”

You sighed, understanding the situation. He had been disgusted with himself because he had ejaculated when Joker… Well, that. You hated to even think about it, so you always shoved the thought away.

“But unfortunately for me, I still get super horny,” he rumbled deeply, pushing his hips into you even more, “So fucking horny.”

“And then I have to suffer,” you complained.

“I can assure you, blue balls are more painful than something poking into you,” he bickered.

“It’s not that…”

“Then?”

“I get horny too, come on man,” you whined, “I’m a hormonal teenage girl. What did you expect?”

“You get horny too?” he whispered after a pause.

“Uh, yeah,” you admitted nervously. Somehow, the mood shifted, and your heart started drumming against your chest.

“Because of me?” he asked.

“Not you specifically, I mean,” you tried to back track, “You’re… Your dick pressing up against me like that, I mean, come on, Jason.”

“Simple question sweetheart,” he told you, “You get horny because of me, yes or no?”

You gulped. “Yes.”

Fuck, why did you say yes? You could have lied. You could have not answered.

“Yeah?” he breathed. You noticed that his hand was now on your hip, right above the waistband of your sleeping shorts, drawing circles onto your skin with his thumb.

You were nervous. The butterflies in your tummy was not helping you calm down.

“Yeah,” you squeezed your eyes shut, as if to protect yourself from anything he had to say.

“Fuck,” he groaned, gripping your hips and grinding his hard on against your ass even more. And did it… Fuck, did it get even harder?

Afraid of saying the wrong thing, and also out of nervousness, you remained silent. Jason’s chest rose and fall against your back, his respiratory rate increasing. His pinky finger slid underneath the waistband, testing the waters before slowly slipping his hand into your pants.

He went in so slowly, as if waiting for you to tell him no, to rip his hand away, to wrench yourself away from him. But you never did, so he went in deeper, caressing the skin beneath your pelvic bone, his heat just burning into you.

“You’re not wearing any underwear,” he commented, voice suddenly husky.

“I don’t wear them to bed,” you informed him.

“You mean to tell me,” he growled, “That all this while I’ve been sleeping next to you and you never had your panties on?”

“It’s more comfortable that way,” you mumbled.

“Jesus Christ,” he cursed. “Thank God I never knew. Would have been torture, and trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”

“Jason,” you gasped.

“It’s true,” he said, “Damn, sweetheart.”

He went lower, closer to your center.

Your core was tingly, small pulses of electricity buzzed through your body as Jason came closer and closer and closer and-

He slipped his hands between your closed thighs and cupped you.

“Mmm,” he moaned softly, “Warm. Fuzzy.”

“Fuzzy?” you laughed, even though you felt like screaming on the inside. Screaming for more.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, burying his face into your nape, taking a deep breath. “You smell nice.”

Oh, shit. You totally forgot about Jason’s aversion to strong smells.

“I’m sorry!” you quickly apologised, “I can switch to an unscented shampoo as well so it wouldn’t be too strong for you.”

“It’s fine,” he said, “I like it on you.”

He ground his hand into your center harder.

“Mmpf, Jay,” you breathed, “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” he confessed, “I’ve never touched a girl like this before.”

“Really?” you widen your eyes in surprise.

“I was kept in a cell for two years, I couldn’t exactly talk, let alone touch, anyone can I?” he quipped.

“Right.”

“Teach me,” he said.

“What?” you whispered despite knowing what he meant.

A pause of silence. A deep intake of breath, a slow exhale.

“Teach me how to touch you,” he purred.

Fuck, you felt like exploding.

“Are you sure?” you asked.

“Yes. If you… If you want to.”

Your mind quickly tried to analyse the situation. Bruce had specifically said that Jason didn’t need any complicated matters in the relationship. It made sense. You didn’t want to overwhelm Jason with any confusion or uncertainty.

But at the same time, you’ve been figuring out how Jason thought, bit by bit. He’s told you many times that he just wanted to be normal again, to feel normal, to do normal things. And this was something that was normal, that he should do, that he wanted to do.

And you knew that he probably would take the rejection even worse.

“O-Okay,” you agreed.

Slowly, you separated your thighs, raising the one on top and hooking it over his legs behind you. Due to your shift in position, you felt the minute Jason’s fingers dip slightly into your folds.

“So, uh, this is my first time with a guy as well,” you squeaked, “But I’ll try to guide you.”

You licked your lips.

“Uhm, well, I guess you can start by running a finger up and down between my- oh! Yes, just like that.”

His middle finger slid down to your opening, and then up again slowly. His movements were uncertain, brushing only slightly against your clit unintentionally.

It was different, having someone else touch you. Somehow, despite the inexperience, it just felt better.

“Holy fuck,” he gasped, “You’re so fucking wet. Do you usually get this wet?”

You felt your cheeks heat up. “No? Yes? I don’t know! I can’t feel it.”

“Shit.”

You let him play with you some more, his fingers sliding up and down, sometimes pressing against your fleshy parts, sometimes circling and gathering your wetness, sometimes just parting your lips. Hell, he even tapped the tips of his fingers on you randomly or brushed into your delicate fuzz. You knew he was just exploring, feeling you for the first time.

And that thought made you smile and sigh.

“Teach me how to make you feel good,” he rasped.

“Uh, so your fingers are wet, right?”

“Yeah. Because you’re leaking all over them.”

“Okay, good. Now find my clit. It’s slightly above your finger, okay, to the left a bit. More. Okay, there! Yeah, right there,” you sighed, finally feeling that delicious pressure.

“Here?”

He tapped your clit.

“Ah!” you moaned, “Yes- but don’t just- nevermind, just gently circle it. Clockwise.”

He obeyed, and hell since when did Jason just obey?

He circled you gently, like you said. But he also went so, so slow.

“Faster, Jay,” you panted.

He went faster, making you groan in pleasure.

“Like this, sweetheart?” he muttered, his voice low and cracking, and sexy, and husky. You’ve never heard him sound like that before, and it drove you wild.

“Yeah,” you breathed, “Yeah, just like that. Fuck.”

“Feel good?”

“So good, Jay. Press a little harder now- fuck. Fuck. Yes, perfect. Just like that.”

The pressure built as his fingers did their magic.

“You- you’re surprisingly good at that,” you stuttered, “You sure- mmm- you sure you’ve never done this before?”

“Despite what you think,” he husked in your ear, warm breath tickling you. “I’m very good at following instructions.”

“I can see that.”

“But I’m also good at improvising.”

“Wha- oh. Oh. Fuck! Jason! Oh my fucking god!”

He started pressing even harder, and going even faster, throwing away the slow build you were going for and instead pushing you towards orgasm fast and hard, as if he was determined to prove something to you.

“Feel good, sweetheart?” he purred, “You gonna come soon?”

“Oh my- fuck, yes! Fuck, don’t stop!”

“You want to come for me?” his deep voice rumbled.

“Yes!”

What the hell? When did he learn how to talk like that?

Because with the mix of his heavy pants, his low voice coaxing you, his barrage of pleasure at your clit, you felt the familiar tightening of your core. You threw one hand back and found his hair. Running your fingers through them, you gripped them tight and pulled.

You pulled on his hair as he forced the orgasm onto you.

“Oh my God. Jason, I’m gonna- fuck- I’m- fuck- ah!”

You moaned loudly as you felt your walls flutter, clenching over nothing as you reached your high.

“O-okay, stop, fuck,” your hand went from his hair to his wrist, stilling him. He withdrew his hands from your pants, and went to grip you tight again by the waist.

“Fucking hell, sweetheart,” he groaned, grinding into you. You pushed your ass back, feeling his hardened length against your flesh in your post-orgasm bliss. “Jesus, that was so hot.”

“That was- yeah,” you giggled, “Fuck.”

His face was still buried in your neck. You could feel his lips on your skin.

“Uhm, I can, you know,” you sputtered, “Try to help you out?”

“It’s fine,” he breathed, body still tight against yours, “Just go to sleep.”

“Are you sure?” you asked again, feeling guilty that he didn’t get off. “I don’t mind.”

“I do,” he said, “It’s okay, sweetheart. That was great. I enjoyed that. I told you, I don’t want to come.”

“Okay,” you sighed.

“Go to bed.”

“Thank you, Jason.”

“Fuck, I’m so horny.”

“Jason,” you whined, “Really, I can help-”

“I’m kidding,” he chuckled, “Goodnight.”

You pursed your lips.

“Goodnight.”

#jason todd x reader #jason todd #red hood #robin #jason todd imagine #dont call me that

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nooneelsecomesclose17 · 3 years

Text

I’ll leave what I’m chasing - part 3

I’m not entirely happy with this but I think that’s my own issue with my writing. Next time: Sarah and Aaron try to make it all better.

(AO3 Link)

The bed is empty when Aaron wakes one morning, a few weeks later and for a second he panics that it had all been a dream, when he hears a noise from downstairs.

The past weeks have gone pretty well after Robert’s little breakdown, he and Seb had got to know each other again, having their own little part of the day, just the two of them, when Seb came home from nursery. Things with Ana hadn’t been quite so easy, she’d taken to crying when Robert picked her up and no matter how many times Aaron assured him she was just cranky his words fell on deaf ears. He was so stressed out about doing something wrong still that Aaron was sure she was picking up on it.

Checking the clock he’s shocked to see it’s half past nine, he can’t remember the last time he slept so late and he can’t help wondering how Robert had got on with the morning routine all by himself.

He’s still pulling on his t-shirt when he starts down the stairs, stopping when he hears Robert talking. He can just about see him, flitting about the kitchen like he always did, constantly turning to check on the little girl in the highchair at the table.

“Do you think Daddy will like pancakes, eh? I think he will. Don’t worry, I made one for you because you were such a good girl this morning when we took your brother to nursery. I know I haven’t been here but I promise from now on I’m going to be the best Daddy ever, aside from Daddy Aaron obviously.”

“Mornin’.”

“What are you doing up? We were going to bring you breakfast in bed.” Aaron gasps at Ana making her giggle. “Sit. This will have to do.”

“I reckon I’m in trouble. Morning sweetheart. So to what do I owe this honour?”

“Do I need a reason?” Robert presses a kiss to his lips as he sets a plate in front of him.

“S’pose not. How was Seb?”

“We had a slight crisis when he just had to take his bear to nursery and I couldn’t find it, but he was placated with his giraffe. I thought...well, you’re going back to work for a bit today aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” He mumbles around his pancakes ignoring the wrinkle of Robert’s nose at his manners. “Paperwork. I’ll only be an hour or two. Why?”

“I thought I might take her out for a bit, walk round the village, have lunch in the cafe.” Aaron looks up, startled.

Robert’s been reluctant to spend much time in the village since he came home, only the trips to nursery with Seb the exception. Aaron hasn’t minded, has enjoyed spending all their time together as well as glad he hasn’t had to run into any of his family.

“I can leave the paperwork if…”

“No. I meant just me and her. I can’t stay shut away in here all the time, and I can’t have you there to hold my hand either.”

“Ok. How’s about that sweetheart, a trip out with Daddy. Sound good?”

“Maybe we can go to the pub tonight. I’m sure Mum can babysit.” Aaron almost chokes on his breakfast. He’d hoped to avoid the inevitable conversation for a while longer, but obviously Robert had other ideas.

“Oh yeah. No, wait. She has book club on Thursdays. Another night yeah?” It wasn’t a lie, not really. Sarah did have her book club, but he also knew she’d drop it at a moment’s notice if they needed her.

“Sure.”

Thankfully no more is said about it and he leaves the house as Robert is trying to convince Ana that she doesn’t want to stay in her high chair all day. His mind isn’t on his work though, it’s on Robert. He has to tell him why they’re avoiding the family, everything that went on and he knows it’s going to hurt.

They might not have got off to the best start but he’d really thought when they got back together that his family had accepted Robert, and how much in love they were. The way they’d all helped with the wedding had seemed genuine enough but now he doubted it. The way they had all turned on Robert when he was sentenced had told him different. The worst thing had been his Mum, and Paddy getting into Liv’s ear and ruining the relationship she’d built with Robert over the years.

They haven’t spoken about prison or how Aaron coped either, both of them skirting round the issue every time they came close to mentioning it. That was something else that needed to change.

In the end he gives up and heads home needing time to work out how to broach the subjects Robert might not have wanted to be out and about in the village all that much but that would no doubt change, so they’d inevitably run into one of his family. He didn’t even know if they knew he was out. Liv did, or she’d known it would be soon and that’s when she’d decided to move to Dublin, still angry at Robert, probably fed up of being in the middle of everyone. He’s surprised he hasn’t heard from his Mum but he’s relieved.

“Aaron!” He stops, key in the lock as Sarah’s voice comes from up the drive. “I’ve been calling Robert but he’s not answering.”

“He’s taken Ana out for the day. He might be in the cafe. Here give me those bags. Did you leave any food in David’s?”

“Oh hush. I thought I could cook you and Robert dinner tonight. I can give book club a miss.” Aaron looks down at his feet. “What?”

“He wanted to go out, to the pub, ask you to have the kids. I begged off, telling him you weren’t free.”

“Love, he’s going to run into them sooner or later. Come on, put these bags in the flat for me, then you can make me a cup of tea.”

“How come I’m always making you a cup of tea?”

“Because you once told me mine tasted like the last puddle you stepped in if you remember.”

“I didn’t know you then!” He can remember going bright red when Robert introduced them. He’d taken Aaron to Whitby for the day not long after they’d got together and when they’d gone for a cup of tea in a cafe he hadn’t told him that it was run by his Mum. Aaron hadn’t spoken to him for the rest of the day as punishment and had been embarrassed about it ever since as Sarah could never resist bringing it up.

They’re still laughing as he puts the kettle on, jumping as the front door banged open and they’re greeted with Ana’s screams and Robert cursing under his breath.

“Rob? What’s happened?” Aaron reaches him first, hand on his arm as he releases the baby from her pushchair. Robert doesn’t answer, keeps fiddling with the buggy as if it’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen. “Robert!”

“Saw your Mum in the cafe.” He’s jiggling Ana in his arms as he speaks, to no avail as she keeps crying and Aaron looks back at Sarah, eyes filled with worry.

“What did she say?”

“Nothing to me. But she had plenty to say to Brenda, whispering away like a pair of witches around a cauldron. They knew I could hear.”

“Here, give her to me.” He holds his arms out for her but Robert takes a step back.

“I can do it!”

“I never said you couldn’t. Just thought you might want to take your coat off.”

“Let me take her, love. I think the two of you need to talk.” He nods, not taking his eyes off Robert. Sarah takes Ana and her bag, pressing a kiss to Robert’s cheek as she goes, and then they’re alone.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on now?”

“First I’m going to make us both a cup of tea. Then, yeah I’ll tell you.”

He draws out making the drink as long as he can, ignores Robert’s irritated sighs, trying to get his head together, but then he can’t put it off any longer and sits himself down next to him, hands clasped round the mug, the warmth comforting him.

“So Mum didn’t say anything? Nothing at all.”

“No. Just gave me her death stare and went up to the counter. Then Ana started crying and I know what they were thinking, that I can’t cope with her. Maybe they’re right, she cries whenever I pick her up...”

“No they’re not. Besides, my mother is the last person to know what Ana’s like seeing as she’s never even met her.” That has the desired effect of stopping Robert in his tracks.

“You what?”

“I gave her a choice. So now you know why I’ve been putting off going to the pub.”

“But...you can’t just leave it there. This is because of me isn’t it? Not only did I mess up our lives now I’ve messed up you and your Mum too. I should never have come back.” He gets up before Aaron can stop him, storming into the kitchen, clinging to the kitchen worktops, breathing hard. “You’re all better off without me.”

“Oi.” He’s on his feet before he realises, pulling Robert round to face him. “Stop that right now. There’s no time or anywhere where I, or the kids better off without you. Never, you hear me?”

“But Aaron, your Mum…”

“My Mum, and the rest of ‘em made their choice just like I made mine both times I married you. I don’t need them. I do need you.”

“All I do is hurt you.”

“Yeah, you’ve hurt me, same as I’ve hurt you. But we’ve got through that, and we’ll get through this. You’re back...home, that’s all I care about.”

“But...I still don’t understand. How did...what happened?” Aaron sighs, knows Robert won’t let it go until he knows everything. He sits back on the sofa, managing to rearrange them so they were comfortable and Robert was right next to him, showing him how much he loved him as best he could.

“It started not long after you were sent down. Like I said before I might not have liked you cutting off contact, but I got why, but they didn’t. Mum went mental, said if you could do that then you obviously didn’t really care about me or Seb. She was in my ear every time I set foot in the pub. Paddy too, then they pulled Liv into it and I know part of it with her was her family being broken again and she was angry but I’d just had enough of it. They hated that I took no notice.”

“You didn’t ever think they might have a point?”

“No. I could cope with that, nothing I’d not heard before was it. It was…” He looks over at him, eyes shining with hurt and he can’t tell him. “Never mind. It’s done now.”

“Aaron, come on. Tell me. I’m sure your Mum will shout it at me at some point. I’d rather hear it from you.”

“You know we hadn’t told her Natalie was pregnant, we were waiting like you’re s’posed to. Well after the first scan, I wanted to tell you more than anything, that this tiny little speck on a screen was all ours and as I couldn’t.” He grabs Robert’s hand as he moves away slightly, guilt written all over his face. “As I couldn’t, the next best thing, or so I thought, was to share it with my family.”

“And?”

“Mum was fine at first, said all the right things, and I thought maybe the thought of another grandchild would mellow her, bring her round. Then all night, all she did was tell everyone ‘look at my son’s baby’ and how great a Dad I would be.”

“She’s right.”

“But she didn’t mean it like that. I knew what she was doing, blocking you out of Ana’s life. No mention of you. She’s ours, always has been.”

“Ok, but that’s not it, surely?”

“Next day I went round, told her that the baby was ours. She went off on one about you again, how I could do better, how I should get rid of you because you were in prison, that you were violent.”

“She thought I shouldn’t be around them? Aaron I’d never…”

“Don’t even finish that sentence. Don’t even think it. You don’t think I’d hurt them do you?”

“Of course not! Why would I?”

“I’ve been done for GBH, same as you, so by her logic...Anyway, I don’t think she even meant it, she was just saying anything to get me to do what she wanted. It didn’t even seem to register with her that whatever she was saying about you she was also saying about me.” He sniffs, brushes away a tear that has escaped. “I didn’t speak to her for weeks after that, only having Cain on my back made me try again.”

“And it was no better.”

“If anything it was worse. Paddy was there backing her up.”

“Well he’s never been a fan.”

“Idiot.”

“Still, surely you could see why she was so angry. I mean I had cut off her baby boy, leaving him to deal with having a baby.”

“Course, but that was before…listen, he didn’t hear anything, he was playing,” Robert’s eyes darken a little and he wishes he didn’t have to tell him. “I’d left Seb with Lydia, just for an hour. Mum was out so I said he’d be ok going with her to the pub. He was feeling poorly so I kept him off nursery but I’d arranged to meet your Mum at the station and I didn’t want to drag him there. Mum must’ve come home early, and we walked in to see him playing on the floor while the two of them were gossiping about you in front of him.”

“Gossiping how?”

“Katie, Rebecca, Paddy, ripping off Kim, Lee.”

“All my greatest hits. Wonderful.”

“He didn’t hear, I don’t think he would’ve even understood, but that was the last straw for me. If she couldn’t even keep her bile to herself while he was in the room then I didn’t want her anywhere near Ana. So I told her, she either accepted that you were my husband and promised not to speak about you like that anymore, in front of Seb or otherwise, or me and her were done and she wouldn’t get to know her granddaughter. Like I said she made her choice. The others fell into line like good Dingles. Except for Cain and Moira, they’ve been same as always.”

Robert doesn’t say anything, almost like he’s stunned, and Aaron can’t do anything except keep his arm around him.

“Talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to say, is there? I should’ve known they never really liked me. Wouldn’t have them pegged as good actors though, should give ‘em credit for that.” He jumps to his feet. “I’m going to lie down.”

“Rob…”

“I just want to be on my own Aaron.”

#robron fic

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itsjustmyfantasyroom · 3 years

Text

Skin on Skin

This was requested by my darling @beccabarba who asked for this:

Warnings: For me to say this is smuty is an understatement. This is some other kind of smut that I have never written before and its slightly rough which is delicious.

Hope this hits the spot lovely x

WC: 2312

Enjoy x

It was coming to the end of summer and it was that time of year again. Mental health checks, gun refresher course, updating first aid and self-defence refresher course. Liv usually booked you all in together, but because of time, being a full on summer with case after case and the Chief up her ass about the courses not being done yet, you were all booked in two by two. Amanda with Sonny, Liv with Fin and you with your partner Nick. The most handsome partner you had ever had. Charming, fun and always angry. But that’s what attracted him to you. Deep down he was soft and so caring when you got through his bitterness about his marriage breakdown. Since him being your partner you had worked out his different moods and how to defuse each one.

You guys had a fun relationship having each others backs, but there was so much flirting. Every now and then you had to walk out of the precinct to get some fresh air to calm yourself down,

“Amaro- how much longer are ya going to keep that up? Just ask her out already” Sonny nudged Nick on the side in the break room.

“Don’t be stupid Carisi”

You were standing on a corner of the East Village in front of an academy approved self-defence gym, in black booty shorts, a white loose tank top sitting off one shoulder with a black tank top under it, black runners, ankle white socks and your hair in a high pony tail sipping on your iced coffee with your sunglasses on, early on the Saturday morning. You looked down at your smart watch when a taxi pulled up in front of you,

“Morning Y/N” Nick gave you a big smile as he closed the taxi door walking towards you.

“Morning Nicolas” You smirked biting your straw grateful for your sunglasses that hid your eyes that were scanning Nick up and down in his white tank top showing off his muscly arms and cotton shorter shorts. But you didn’t miss the sparkle in his eyes and the way he grinned when you called him by his full first name.

“You know I hate being called that right” Nick frowned at you smiling.

You lifted your sunglasses off your eyes pushing them up on the top of your head,

“You only hate it when it’s not me saying it” you winked “Come on Nicolas or we will be late” You smiled at Nick and headed inside.

Nick deliberately held back so he could look at your ass while you walked. You turned him on usually by whatever you wore, especially when you wore jeans on a night out. But when he pulled up in taxi and saw what you were wearing today he cleared his throat reaching for his water bottle to have a drink to calm down.

The day had gone smoothly. Breaking for a quick morning tea and lunch. You and Nick had been separated most of the day on different mats, but catching each other staring more than once. At one point, Nick was flipped on his back by his trainer because he was too busy watching you take off your crop top leaving you in your tank top and shorts. You giggled and winked at him when he looked over at you blushing.

By the later part of the afternoon you and Nick had both passed everything you needed to pass, but the head trainer wanted to keep you a bit longer for you to work on your own self defence with Nick as Nick was a different build to the male trainer. He was a fair bit taller and more solid. Your trainer had another class and left to teach that.

“We are going to start with the classic position, Detective Amaro can you come up behind Detective Y/L/N, one arm around the top of her chest near her neck, your hand on her shoulder your other around her waist”

Just then the phone rang for the gym,

“Excuse me for a moment” and the trainer walked away to answer it.

You could feel Nick’s breath on your bear shoulder and it not feeling unnatural to be standing like this with him, his naked arms around you, your skin touching. His large hands on your exposed skin making your knees go weak, Nick pressing his body into your back feeling amazing. You loved the feeling of his fingers on your middle between your tank top and shorts.

“What are you doing after here?” Nick said softly into your ear “Let’s have dinner, my favourite Cuban place is just a block down”

“Are you asking me on a date Detective?” You turned your head slightly so his lips brushed your cheek.

Nick chuckled, his hot breath sending a shiver down your spin “And if I’am?”

Without warning you bent over flipping Nick over you so he landed flat on his back looking up at you shocked not quite sure what had just happened. You looked down at him with a smile,

“I would love to Nicolas” you laughed.

“Well done Detective” you heard the trainer’s voice who had walked over and pulled Nick up off the floor by his hand “I’ am impressed Detective Y/N. You guys are free to go, I’ll send your paper work to Lieutenant Benson.”

You guys made the quick walk to the next block over to the restaurant Nick was talking about. The short walk was filled with talking and laughing, you and Nick pretty much walking on top of each other, you where that close.

“Here is it” Nick walked to the door handle pulling it and holding it open for you.

“Nice to see chivalry isn’t dead, your Mumma taught you well” you giggled as you walked passed Nick.

“I know how to treat a beautiful lady” Nick shot back with another big grin “You should see what she hasn’t taught me” you burst out laughing as you made your way to the hostess looking around at the very full restaurant “Hope they have a table its packed” Nick was at your heels.

“Hola buena noches, mesa para dos” (Hello good evening, table for two)

Nick lent over your shoulder, his hand resting on your hip,

“Hola sí por favor” (hello yes please)

“You’re lucky, we have one table left, por favor sígame” (please follow me)

You and Nick followed the hostess to a small table right in the back corner. It was a small round table with two seats. You and Nick sat down on the very cosy table, really you could have sat on his lap the table was so small and the chairs that close to each other. You both sat down and your legs straight away touching. The feeling of Nick’s hairy leg on yours a delicious sensation,

“¿te puede traer una bebida?” (can get you a drink?)

“Si, Cuba Libre y agua, por favor- What are you having Nick?” you turned to see a big smile on his face,

“lo mismo por favor” (same please)

The conversation had just flowed all night and it felt amazing. The flirtation definitely stepping up a level. Your arms and legs resting against each other’s. Your fingers and hands brushing each other’s on the small table. You were taking a sip of your new drink letting dinner settle before you both decided on dessert. Nick reached down to scratch the side of his leg that was leaning on yours with his left hand. His knuckles brushing along your skin. Nick saw you look down at his hand and bite your bottom lip. You missed the grin on his face when he moved that arm to rest on the back of the chair, his right hand moving to rest on the inside of your thigh at the hem of your shorts,

“You know Y/N” Nicks hand started to run up your clothed thigh “I like feeling your skin on mine”

You took in a deep breath, feeling grateful your back was too the rest of the restaurant. Slowly his hand went up your thigh,

“Have you ever thought about me when you’re alone?”

Nick's hand had stopped where your thigh meets you crotch his pointer finger stretched out, rubbing up and down your cloths core.

“There has been more than once my hand has been around my cock and I have wished it was yours. So your answer is yes” You whimpered thrusting your hips forward slightly into his finger, your right hand now on the highest part of his thigh “Should we get out of here?”

“Mine or yours?” you gasps when Nick ran his finger up and down clothed core again.

Nick moved his hand away from grabbing your thigh, to your hand grabbing his thigh and moving it to rest on his hardened cock. You turned to look at him with wide eyes, his lips crashing on yours for a slightly steamy public pash.

“Do you really think we will make it back to mine or yours Mami? There’s a hotel around the corner”

----

You were laying on the hotel bed with Nick between your legs rubbing his clothed cock over your clothed pussy. Both bear chested and only in your panties and his boxers, the kiss all tongues moaning into each other mouths. Nick’s hands running up your sides, yours grabbing onto his hips pulling him into you,

“I can feel how wet you are” Nick grunted into your neck that he was now kissing.

Your hand moved to slide down his boxers wrapping your hand around his long hard cock,

“All for you Nicolas” One of Nick’s hands moved to slide into your hair balling it into his fist tugging on your hair slightly moving your head to the side, his lips landing between your neck and shoulder, bucking his hips into your hand wrapped around him “See-you love it when I call you that don’t you?”

In a quick moment Nick moved your hand out of his boxers and rolled you over so you were now on top of him straddling him, his hands moving to your breasts. Nick started kneading them giving them both the same amount of attention. You were rolling your hips over Nick’s length, running your hands up and down his chest. The mixture of the friction from his clothed member and the lace of your panties on your clit, your release was building at a steady pace but it was intense.

You started to roll your hips faster over Nick, your hands gripping onto his shoulders. Nick saw your jaw go slack reaching down to squeeze your ass cheek with one hand and pinch your nipple with the other,

“Your a dirty girl- come baby” Nick bucked up his clothed cock as you rolled your hips and you came, your head falling forward breathless. You slowed your movements coming down from your high when Nick rolled you both over so he was between your legs again. Nick made quick work of pulling your panties off throwing them on the floor with the rest of your cloths, then moving to pull his off.

He reached for the bedside table reaching for the condom he had sat there from his wallet, ripping it open and rolling it on,

“Do you know how hot that was mi puta” Nick fell back down resting his elbows next to your head lining himself to your opening “What was it like riding my clothed cock?” Nick lent down brushing his lips along your jaw.

“Amazing- but I want you in me now Nicolas” you moaned grabbing onto his hips trying to pull him into you, spreading your legs more to make it easy for him.

That was all Nick needed ramming into you in one go, your grip on his hips tightening. You lifted your hips up so that Nick could slam into you hitting your sweet spot with every pound.

“Mierda Y/N- you feel so good”

“Give it to me Nicolas- harder” you almost yelled.

You started to move your hips up and down in time with Nick’s thrusts. Both your bodies’ covered in a light layer of sweat, Nicks lips meeting yours, swallowing your whimpers your orgasm about to burst through you. You let go of one of Nick’s hips reaching between you both to your clit, Nick pulling back locking eyes with you. You rolled your pearl between your thumb and pointer finger. You could hear how wet you were while Nick thrusted in and out. You couldn’t take your eyes off each other, the stare intense. Both your jaws slack, both moaning.

“Ni-Nick” Your fingers nails on the hand still on his hip digging into Nick’s skin as your orgasm speed through you like wild fire, your whole body burning.

The look on your face and how you gripped around Nick’s hard length, your name left Nick’s lips with a grunt, his hip moments getting sloppy before he pulled out throwing himself on his back breathless.

Nick removed the condom and threw it in the trash next to the bed, his hand coming to rest on your thigh, yours coming to the top of his. You both laid there for a long moment breathing heavy looking at the roof.

“I’ve set the bar high for a second date” Nick chuckled.

“A second date?” you turned your head to look at him with a smile on your face rolling over to peck him on the lips a few times.

“Of course I want a second date with an amazing person like you. You get me Y/N- I don’t have to try and be something I’m not when I’ am with you. You make me happy. You make me feel wanted. I want to make you mine”

Tags: @the-baby-bookworm @permanentlydizzy @detective-giggles @amorestevens

#law and order svu #SVU fanfiction #SVU FANDOM #svu fan #nbc svu #svu smut #fantasy #fanfic #one shot #request #requested #nick amaro #nick amaro x reader #nick amaro x you #nick amaro smut #danny pino

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bookstantrash · 3 years

Text

A/N: I preordered ACOSF yesterday and I’ve been living in a happy Nessian bubble and decided to take all that energy and write something.

Today is Freddie Mercury’s death anniversary so I thought about taking my favorite headcanon of Nesta being a great singer and have her sing one of Queen’s masterpieces. This is a humble tribute of mine to the great musician and amazing person that Mercury was. May he rest in peace and his legacy live on forever.

Somebody to Love

There are said to be five steps for overcoming grief.

Denial.

Anger.

Bargaining.

Depression.

And acceptance.

Nesta had gone through all of them after her father’s death. She had spent a lot time feeling angry, and her depression was finally getting better after she started seeing a psychologist. Her sisters support had also been vital.

Those same steps could also be applied after a breakup. And that was exactly what Nesta was going through.

However, she was proud to say that after three days of being single, she had only gone through two steps: anger and acceptance.

At least that was what she was trying to convince her sisters and Emerie of.

“I’m fine, El” Nesta repeated for what was the umpteenth time in the past five minutes “It was his loss. I’m much better off alone.”

“Nesta, if you’d only talk to us so we could understand” Elain replied, frustrated by her older sister’s headstrong behaviour.

Because Nesta Archeron had only sent a text that afternoon informing her two sisters that she had called quits at her almost three year relationship with Cassian and dragged them to the karaoke bar. No explanations offered.

“There’s nothing to talk about” Nesta said, taking a sip of her margarita “Oh look! Emerie is coming back, that means it’s my turn”

Feyre and Elain exchanged a worried look, something Nesta didn’t fail to notice before she pumped Emerie’s shoulder playfully while she made her way to the small stage. Emerie only gave her a weak smile, worry also shinning in her eyes.

Nesta Archeron was far from fine. But she didn’t want to worry her sisters. Or admit that to herself.

She was over Cassian. And being here, on the place where they had shared their most precious memories, was the sign that she was taking this place back.

It would be her place. This was an act of burying for good the memories of Cassian.

She would allow herself to think about him this one last time. One last song.

About them. About her feelings.

Stopping in front of the microphone, Nesta sang.

Love of my life, you've hurt me

You've broken my heart and now you leave me

Nesta was nearing her new book’s deadline, so she had locked herself in her apartment and forbidden Cassian from visiting.

“You distract me too much” she had said while she tried to finished the paragraph she was writing, Cassian coming behind her to nuzzle his nose in her neck, promptly making her forget about everything but his touch on her skin.

“You like when I distract you” he had murmured, slowly kissing her neck.

She didn’t do much work on that day. But after that Cassian made a promise to stay away for the week.

Love of my life, can't you see?

Bring it back, bring it back

Nesta finished three days before her deadline. She had had a sudden burst of inspiration and wrote all through the night. So she had thought of surprising Cassian with some homemade food.

Nesta was on her way to his house after her shopping when she saw a familiar man bun in the sidewalk.

She was thinking about honking to gather his attention — they could go back to his place together and cut the surprise short — when she noticed that he was not alone.

Don't take it away from me, because you don't know

What it means to me

There was a blonde woman with him. A very very pretty woman. The kind that you saw on magazines covers. And the way Cassian was looking at her.... it made Nesta’s heart clench.

Cassian hadn’t smiled at her like that for some time. He always looked nervous and about to say something whenever they met, but she had brushed it off.

But maybe... maybe he was trying to say something. Maybe he was trying to say that he had found someone else.

Maybe the blonde woman that hanged on his arm.

Love of my life, don't leave me

You've stolen my love, you now desert me

Nesta had driven back to her apartment in autopilot. She had a loud ringing in her ears and her body was all cold.

Deep down she knew that Cassian would break up with her. She was not the easiest person out there, while Cassian.... he was loved by everyone. He deserved better.

So she broke up with him before he did the same with her.

Through a message. A simple message.

‘I can’t do this anymore. We’re over. Don’t come to my apartment or my life ever again’

Love of my life, can't you see?

Bring it back, bring it back

Nesta had blocked his contact from her phone. Left her apartment and went to the first place she could think of: Emerie’s.

Her best friend was surprised to see her, and Nesta spilled everything to her amidst tears.

She spent the rest of the day crying over wine and ice cream.

The next day , Nesta woke up with an horrible headache. And anger that burned so hot it threatened to destroy her.

Don't take it away from me

Because you don't know

What it means to me

She had cursed Cassian till the end of his bloodline, and decided that never again would give anyone the key to her heart.

Emerie tried to convince her to allow Cassian to explain himself.

“He left me over twenty messages Nesta!” Emerie had argued “He has been calling nonstop!”

“I have no time to hear his excuses” she spat back, clenching her fists “I saw him with my own eyes”

You will remember

When this is blown over

Everything's all by the way

Emerie had just sighed in defeat.

And by the third day Nesta had made up her mind to forget she even knew Cassian.

She messaged her sisters — which had been worried sick about her, given that he had also contacted them — and they met at the karaoke.

Their karaoke.

When I grow older

I will be there at your side to remind you

How I still love you (I still love you)

Their first date spot.

Their first kiss.

Where he had asked her to be his girlfriend.

I still love you

Nesta felt silent tears running down her cheeks. She hoped the poor illumination helped conceal them.

She was nearing the end of the song when she felt a gaze on her, what shouldn’t be a surprise given that she was singing in front of the whole bar.

Yet she knew that gaze.

A gaze that made her stomach flutter.

A gaze that made her knees weak.

Oh, hurry back, hurry back

Don't take it away from me

You don't know what it means to me

Cassian.

She was going to bloody murder Feyre. She had asked them not to tell where she was. But Feyre was never known for keeping a secret. And she did go out with Cassian’s best friend and surrogate brother, Rhysand.

Love of my life

Nesta had barely sung the last note when she stormed off the stage and started to fight with Feyre.

“How could you! I asked you not to say a word about where I was!” she didn’t know how, but she managed not to scream, only whisper yell at her surprised sister.

“I— Nesta I didn’t say a word! I swear I don’t know how he got here!” Feyre said, hurt in her eyes.

Nesta dared to glance at him. What only made her anger soar even higher.

For he had not come alone.

No, he had come with companions of his own.

Rhysand, Azriel, Amren, the blonde woman from before and a redhead she had never seen.

“How could he! How could he bring her here!” Nesta felt tears come to her eyes again.

She needed to leave before she had a mental breakdown in front of the whole bar.

‘So much for being over Cassian’ she bitterly thought.

“Nesta, what are you talking about?” Feyre asked, grabbing her shoulders.

“S-she! The blonde beside him!”

“But Nesta—”

“I don’t wanna hear it!” she cried, brushing Feyre’s hands off of her

“Nesta—” Emerie began.

“I’m leaving. You girls have fun” Nesta made to grab her purse while Feyre and Emerie in vain tried to talk with her.

But it was Elain — who had been awfully quiet — that caught her attention.

“You should really see this Nesta” Elain said, her voice laced with curiosity.

“What? I already said that—” she stopped herself mid sentence, her heart skipping a beat.

Because Cassian was on the stage.

And he was looking at her.

“Nesta Archeron?” he called, his deep voice resonating all through the bar.

Nesta could only nod in response, momentarily frozen in place.

“This song is for you”

•

Tags: @sayosdreams @thewayshedreamed @sjm-things @perseusannabeth @arin1030-blog @caotica-e-quieta @vidalinav @swankii-art-teacher @ireallyshouldsleeprn @duskandstarlight @greerlunna @thegoddessaltenia @dayanna-hatter @verypaleninja

{Please let me know if you’d like to be added to my tag list}

#sarah j maas #sjmaas #sjm books #sjm fanfic #nessian #cassian x nesta #nesta archeron #cassian

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blissfulparker · 5 years

Text

Not like us→fratboy!tom pt.1

Parings: fratboy!tom x reader

Warnings: pure angst

Summary: you over hear some things tom said to Harrison and it turns out your relationship has been something tom doesn’t want the rest of the world to see.

A/n: there will only be two parts to this but this was from a blurb requested by an anon and I got multiple requests to do a second part or make it into a fic so this is the extended version and also the first part! I have another frat boy tom fic this week along with ‘black beauty’ hope y’all enjoy!!

“I don’t wanna be rude or anything it’s just that...it’s just that people aren’t use to that type of stuff.”

It was Friday afternoon. After your last class of the week you found yourself curled up in Toms plaid comforter bed trying to cool off after a long stressful week. You were no stranger to his bed, or his room. You spent endless nights here studying, sleeping, cuddling, watching movies, the left side was your side and the right was Toms. Tom joked he slept closer to the door to protect you if anyone came in.

“I mean, yeah...you’ve been dating for about What? 5 months? If you wanna break up with her just do it now, it’s just gonna suck if you wait longer.” Harrison, Toms best mate since primary school, spoke loudly.

The kitchen, the boys were talking about you in the kitchen. You were awake now, trying to fix the mess on your head and wiping off mascara that moved in your sleep. You clung onto Toms university hoodie that smelt just like him and always made your stress go away.

“I love her though, I do. I just don’t want her to get hurt you know? Guys like me aren’t supposed to date girls like her.” Toms voice broke at the beginning but stayed strong at the end.

You, they were talking about you. You who’ve been dating the infamous campus fratboy Tom holland for about five months and it started over a broken down car, Taco Bell, and mental breakdowns. It was the stupid start to a loving relationship but you and tom were almost made for each other in the strangest way. You two were polar opposites that became one when the two of you were with each other.

“I get it, she’s kinda a dork...no offense.” Harrison spoke and you now cracked the door open to hear the conversation a little bit clearer. You didn’t know if any of the other boys were downstairs and you really didn’t want to find out.

“No I understand, she is. And like that’s the thing, she’s dorky and cute and all nerdy and I’m this fratboy who can chug a whole bottle of vodka in an hour if he tried. What does that say about us? More me specifically.” You look down at the jaw strings of the hoodie and mess with them. Was it safe for you to keep listening? No. Were you going to anyways? Yes.

“I’ve got a reputation to keep up, so does she. Remember Megan? Megan is the type of girl people want to see me with. Not (y/n), but I love (y/n). That’s the thing, I love her and people are going to hate us for that.” His voice was broken but it was almost like he’s been needing to rant for awhile now. You couldn’t go out there, what would you even say?

“Have you fucked?” Harrison’s bold statement made you step back. Tom was your first, it was two months in and you were 100% ready. Tom has had sex Dozens of Times But you, you were different because this time it was for love, not for fun.

“Of course, but it’s best if no one knows. Keeps her safe. Keeps our reputations high.” The sound of a beer bottle hitting the recycling bin made you crawl back into bed. Pretend you’re asleep and act like you’ve never heard a thing.

Everything made sense though why he never wanted to post pictures on Instagram, no snapchats, you never went to the parties—not that you wanted to anyways—never got super affectionate around his friends. Why Harrison was the only one to know about the relationship.

He was ashamed of you. He was embarrassed to be in love with you.

No, you weren’t like the other girls he’s been with. Not a party animal nor a outgoing person. You were simple, nerdy, studied hard, loved to stay in, hopeless romantic. You were a girl tom always dreamed about but never thought was real, and you were perfect but he knew other people didn’t think that.

“Baby?” Tom whispered and you sat up rubbing your eyes and pretending like you just woke up. “What’s wrong?” He noticed the tears and the red eyes and flushed look in your face.

“I—it’s—my allergies, they’ve been acting up. Seasons changing are the worse.” You lied and tom wrapped his arm around your waist. How could he act like this, a loving and adoring boyfriend, when he just claimed he was ashamed of you.

“Oh, I have some medicine if you want—“ he starts and you shake your head.

“It’s best if I go back to my dorm. Alone. I think I need a full nights rest.” You sniffle as you stand up and look over to his mirror and fix yourself up.

“Oh okay, text me when you get there please.” He hands you your backpack and kisses your forehead. The kiss felt sour against your skin, his lips no longer felt soft and plump but bitter and hard.

“I will.” You give a soft, fake smile before walking out. You pass Harrison who gives you a sweet smile before you exit the door.

He was ashamed, he was ashamed, he was ashamed. That’s all that ran though your head. You weren’t like Megan, his ex who was drop dead gorgeous—she cheated on him with two different guys so you have that huge advantage of not being an asshole—but she was still what he wanted. They were perfect, the light of every party.

People like you weren’t supposed to be with people like him. Study hard, nerdy, good grades, good girls, weren’t supposed to end up with frat boys like Tom Holland. Boys like him were supposed to be with party animals and adventurous people. Not you.

Boys like him are never supposed to be with girls like you.

Saturday evening, the next day.

Books scattered across your bed as you shoved information into your brain about chemistry. Your glasses have a glare and your roommate was out for the night. Normally you’d spend your Saturdays with tom but currently you didn’t know where he was and didn’t bother to see him. You didn’t respond all day and you made sure to let him know you wanted to be alone.

Two knocks. Two knocks on your front door is what made you jump and take out your headphones.

“I’m coming!” You shouted as you hopped off the bed and jogged over to the door.

There stood tom, two bags of Chinese food and a bag from wallgreens. He wore a skin tight green Ralph Lauren polo shirt and some joggers.

“You never told me if you made it home safe.” He pouted as he walked past you.

You forgot that your Saturday nights were perfect, cuddled up in bed, eating Chinese food and having messy makeout sessions.

“Sorry, my phone was off and I fell asleep.” You lied. He set the stuff down before opening the wallgreens bag.

“I got you some more medicine, and this green smoothie thingy? I dunno, the lady said it helps clear your sinuses. I kinda looks gross I wouldn’t drink it either.” He sets it down and you watch him with folded arms.

“Don’t you have a party to attended tonight?” Your voice bitter as you talk about the frat.

“It’s overrated. Saturday’s are meant for us and I like them this way.” He sets kicks off his shoes. You were mad and you didn’t know how to handle it, so you did it in the most petty way possible.

“No, lets go to the party, what’s the theme I bet I can find something.” You walk over to your closet. Tom follows you to stop you.

“Why would we do that? You hate parties remember? Too many people. We always stay in.” He grabs your hand and you can’t help but to feel your eyes water. He was an idiot, an actual idiot that you wish wasn’t so pretty.

“Why don’t you want me at your parties?” You step back and he furrows his brows.

“Peach, What are you talking—“ He starts and you shake your head.

“You can at least invite me! An offer would be nice! But you never did, because I’m too dorky and nerdy to be around you. Or maybe it’s because I’m not like your other Ex girlfriends in the past.” You sniffle and he steps closer.

“Are you on your period? What’s happening? Who’s telling you all this?” He stands there clueless and you wipe your nose.

“You! Yesterday I woke up from my nap and I heard you and Harrison talking. ‘People Like me shouldn’t be with girls like her’ and ‘I’ve got a reputation to keep up’? What the fuck tom!” You shout at him and he steps back.

You heard all of it and it was hitting tom. He never meant any of it, not in the way you took it. He just didn’t want people teasing you, making fun of you, bullying you, he wanted to keep you safe. He was also selfish, he knew that if he took you to one of his parties you’d get taken advantage of. He would leave you for one second and you’d be gone, he can’t even think of the worse case scenario or else it would hurt him.

“You know, I know I’m not super popular nor am I this victoria secret model but I’m not embarrassed to be around you nor am I ashamed which I probably should be because smart girls can’t be with guys like you!” You say out of anger and now tom gives a look.

“Are you calling me dumb?” He asks and you walk over to your bed.

“You didn’t listen to me at all! You are the one who said all these things and that was only the stuff I heard! What else did you say, Huh? I want to know.” You wipe your eyes and he shakes his head.

“Nothing! I said nothing else! Harrison just asked me why I never post with you or why the other boys don’t know about you it’s to keep you safe! It’s only to keep you safe! The people I hang out with are not good people and I just don’t want anything bad happening to you!” His face was red and you wanted nothing more than to run out and never speak to him again.

“I’m a fucking adult I can take care of myself! You’re the one who said that people will care if they know about us. I don’t care about my reputation, Holland! I have absolutely nothing to lose, it’s you who are selfish and it’s you who still wants to be the golden boy of the circle. The one thing that I have that all those other girls don’t is fucking loyalty, and trust, and I give a shit about you! They don’t! Megan cheated on you and I would never even think of that! Sydney only used You for sex and popularity and guess what tom? I’m not doing that because I actually love you but it’s very obvious that you only care about yourself.” You grab your keys and purse which causes tom to freak out even more.

“What are you doing?” He stops you but you yank away and keep going.

“I need time to cool down, im going for a drive. When you decide what you want to do with us, come find me.” You storm off leaving tom in your dorm.

Tom fucked up. He did that a lot but most of the time he could find a simple way out of fucking up. This time he couldn’t, He was about to loose the most valuable thing in his life.

The most logical thing for him to do was not chase after you. You didn’t want him to chase after you anyways, you wanted him to figure out what he wanted not for him to beg on his knees for your love. He stormed out of your dorm as well, leaving everything he’d brought and went back to his frat house.

He couldn’t forget though that there’d be a party in about two hours, the boys were setting up and tom stormed in and ruined their mood.

“Hey! Look who showed up to help!” Yelled one of the boys, Alex.

“Hey mate, you alright?” Harrison stopped him. Bright red eyes, heavy breathing, tension in his whole body, he was pissed.

“Leave me be.” He mumbled and Harrison stopped him again. The whole frat was looking at him, even the extra friends who came to help out.

“Hey, What happened? Where’d you go?” Haz stops and tom tries to push past him.

“She heard, she fucking heard everything and all the shit—“ tom started and everyone was confused but Haz.

“(Y/n)?” Haz says and immediately everyone goes to shock.

“Woah man, you’re fucking (y/n)? Nice!” One said and Haz gave a look to the boy. The rest were confused with who you even were.

“Let me go, please.” Tom had tears back in his face and Haz let him run up into his room like a child. He didn’t know where you were and didn’t know what he’d say if he called you.

You had found yourself at the place where it all started, the place where your car broke down at 12:00am trying to get home from the library and tom just happened to be driving around that night.

“Hey, are you okay?” A thick voice pulled you out of your crying and knocked on your window. You had your hazard lights on and pulled to the side.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just my car broke down.” You sniffle and he helped you out of the car and popped the hood.

“Can you call someone to tow it? I don’t think I can really help you here.” He asked and you nodded calling your insurance and trying to figure the most out.

“So uhh, you’ve got someone coming?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, thank you.” You smile at the stranger and he stands there. “You can leave...” you trail off and he shakes his head.

“It’s midnight and it’s a college campus, not so safe to leave a pretty girl alone.” He goes to lean up against his car.

“Thanks.” You wipe your eyes and start to feel yourself cry some more. It was a really long week. Tom jumped up and came over to hold you. Comfort you, make You feel safe.

That was the start of your relationship

He helped you call someone to get it towed and offered to get you some food to help you calm down. The first time you met tom you were crying while eating a burrito from Taco Bell in the back of his car. The fratboy held you in his arms and let you cry all that you felt that day.

Now it was different. It was just you. No tom, no broken car, no Taco Bell, nothing.

Tom holland had broken your heart, how did you not see that coming? Maybe it was because you were blinded by the British charm and the white lopsided smile and floppy curly hair. Maybe if you weren’t as naïveté as other girls then you wouldn’t be stuck in this situation.

If you could go back five months ago and just stay at the library a little longer and have someone else help you, you would’ve. If you could go back and jut say thank you instead of saying yes to his dates, you just might’ve.

The last thing you wanted to feel was tom Holland’s little secret.

Some tags(because my perm tag list is too long): @thollandss @quitetommy @keepmeholland @spiderboytotherescue @delicatepeterparker @candlelightparker @klusterffucked @stormyholland @spiderboytingle

#fratboy!tom #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #college!tom #tom holland angst #tom holland fluff #imagine tom holland #tom holland au #tom holland smut #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fic #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you

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precious-whumps · 4 years

Text

a rokka no yuusha/braves of the six flowers whump summary

hey all, i didn’t know there was such a thing as whumplr until recently. my excitement is immeasurable and my day is made, and i thought it’d be fun to join the community with this offering~

i see that y’all know about rokka and gif the boy a lot, but it seems like most don’t even know about anything that came after the anime. i was so obsessed with the characters and the story that i purchased the light novels and was not disappointed — at least on the whump front. the books are kinda pricey since barnes and noble was the only retailer i found that had it and the author never continued after volume 6, so if you happened to want to know the whumpy details, i’ve got them for you right c’here.

be warned though! there’s major spoilers from this, not limited to the identity of the seventh and the climax to the first (lol only...) main conflict since context, at least for me, adds everything to the moment. i also don’t have the books with me, so the descriptions here are just off the top of my head. small plot details might be wrong. once i get my books out of storage, i’m happy to post excerpts if anyone’s interested in that :)

alrighty so vol 2 picks up right after the end of the anime. the braves make it into the howling vilelands (book translation, i can’t remember what they called it in the anime), but they’re soon accosted by tgurneu. adlet has this spike thing with crystallized saint blood on the tip. after some desperate fighting and help from hans and mora, he manages to get close enough to stab tgurneu with it. the beautiful dumbass just stands there though, watching, waiting for that sweet sweet vengeance. tgurneu looks up at him and says, “are you seriously trying to kill me?” then, lightning fast and with inhuman strength, he punches adlet square in the face. the hit fractures his skull, knocking him out instantly, and sends him flying into the woods. he rolls and hits a tree i think. fremy screams for him :’c

mora gets to him first. i definitely remember that she feels his neck for breaks. it might have been my imaginings, but i’m pretty sure she pulls his arm across her shoulder and carries him in a semicircle around tgurneu who hasn’t died yet. hans comes up and takes adlet from her, saying he’ll get everyone to the next checkpoint which is a cave that has a special protective barrier the saint of the single flower made however long ago it was. he runs with both adlet and chamo (who’s been poisoned) on his shoulders all the way there. tough kitty. the others catch up eventually ‘cause they were dealing with more fiends attacking them and having trust arguments with each other, fremy and mora specifically with fremy ending it by outright saying that she’s worried about adlet. at the cave, they’ve laid him down by the spring, and mora heals him with the power of the mountain since bones aren’t rolonia’s forte. he’s still unconscious for a few more hours, until evening i think. she notes his resilience when he wakes up.

this volume also introduced me to the joys of hans whump..he gets my absolute favorite kind here. it’s revealed that tgurneu got to mora some years before, threatening to murder her young daughter if she doesn’t kill “at least one brave.” but she’s smart and dedicated, so she recruited rolonia, trained her to be both a strong enough fighter to be chosen as a brave, but also to be an insanely powerful healer too, because mora’s plan is to kill a brave to free the daughter but then immediately have rolonia resurrect them. she’d decided to use adlet since he was both healthy (had the best chances of being revived) and the easiest for her to deal with (lol), but there’s a hiccup in her attempt to separate him from the group. she ends up with hans instead because he sensed something was fishy, wanted to scope the situation out himself. it’s too late to fix it, so she fights her little heart out with him, finally managing to get a solid, heavy punch to his chest, stopping his own heart. she collapses from the licks he got on her and has to drag herself to his body. she pricks his jugular, all the while rolonia’s freaking out cause she wasn’t in on the plan, and the rest of the team swarms them. mora just yells at rolonia to pump hans’ spilled blood until his heart starts up again even as the others are yelling at her, believing she’s the seventh. i think adlet gathers the situation a bit and kneels by hans’ side across from rolonia, asks her if she needs him to do anything. i don’t remember the dialogue exchange, i just know that he’s holding hans as he comes back to life, and the poor guy, this hardened, i-ain’t-scare-of-no-things assassin, touches his neck where he was pricked, then starts screaming from the realization that he was dead. i love it. i’m so unbelievably salty we didn’t at least get the second season for this scene alone.

oh i also remember a flashback scene from when adlet met rolonia on atro’s mountain, it might’ve been in this book. it was one night, after a long day of struggling just to get nowhere with his training, he lamented that he was born a man, meaning he could never be a saint and have the power he needed to get revenge for his village. rolonia had her own issues at the time too, mainly that she didn’t want to be a saint, so the two ended up sobbing together all night.

vol 3 didn’t have a whole lot of…anything really. it was mostly goldov’s backstory (he takes a beating, i think, with nashe by his side for a little bit while he’s recovering) and the braves running around in circles like idiots trying to find nashetania. she loses her arm *shrug*. i guess i can say this one was important since it was showing the first signs of adlet’s strong man veneer cracking. boy’s getting stressed out by this whole leadership thing.

vol 4 also didn’t have much physical whump, but the emotional is pretty nice. it’s actually my fave in the series because it made me cry ;-;

the braves push deeper into the vilelands and come across the ruins of human villages. now, there’s a fiend with the special ability to implant parasites into the brain stem of humans and control them. they can still be ‘alive’ even after they should be dead, like this small army of zombies have long since starved to death, but their minds are sort of still there. and one of them just so happens to be adlet’s childhood friend rainer, the kid that he thought died with his sister. rainer heard information from the fiends that he knows the braves need, so most of the book is him trying find a way to tell them. he’s not able to until the very end as he’s lying in the woods, dying for real and singing a song from their village because it’s the last thing he can think of. he sort of recognizes adlet, saying, “you look like someone i know,” just before he’s gone. hans tells adlet it’s okay to cry if he needs to, and he’s all, ‘no i’m fine, we need to go.’ he takes a few steps away then stops and says, “actually, hold on,” then “presses his face to a tree trunk and weeps.”

vol 5…i gotta admit, i honestly don’t remember this one very well. adlet gets “beat to a bloody pulp,” but i can’t visualize it since some of the plot was hard to follow, and he’s honestly had worse already so i was barely registering it. the braves suspect him again of being the seventh, and real evidence comes forth showing that he likely is, and fremy tries to kill herself to protect the braves? like it’s just a big dramatic thing. so it’s kinda half revealed that tgurneu, who ~somehow~ still isn’t dead, has some kind of control over adlet involving ~the power of looove~, and it’s starting to be more clear that he has an unnatural compulsion to protect fremy. so like, yeah, he’s having to do a bunch of shit to stop her from killing herself, stop the braves from trying to help her with that, and stop them from suspecting him. i think fremy shoots him in the leg? i legitimately cannot recall. i do remember that he finally manages to craft a lie that convinces them that hans is the seventh and that fremy doesn’t have to kill herself, that her death might actually hurt them. she’s kneeling on the ground for some reason, he runs over to her, just stands there again looking at her, asks if she’s okay. she feels bad about him being injured and gently places her hands on his torso to keep him steady. it’s a super sweet image to me, yeet. he drinks some potion thing goldov uses to keep pain at bay with the warning that he’ll “be in hell once it wears off.” that’s all i got for this one, sorry >.<

and finally vol 6. it’s fully revealed that yeah, tgurneu is mind controlling him to love fremy so that she can fulfill her engineered purpose (she wasn’t aware of it. she’s such a brilliant, sweet girl, i love her so much), which is to drain the magic from the braves’ crests while they’re in the vilelands. of course, this will kill them as soon as the protection from the land’s poison is gone. so adlet’s for sure the seventh but he never knew it until now (or he didn’t accept it, i think he did realize it back in 5). his entire life was manipulated for this scenario. most of his POV in the book is his mental breakdown dealing with all of this. like he tries to force himself to stop loving fremy and being willing to betray his friends and destroy the world for her, but he just can’t shake the control, making him cry again from the stress.

at some point, he and hans are cornered by tgurneu’s special forces. they’d reverted to enemies after the previous book’s shenanigans but when hans realizes what’s going on in adlet’s head, he feels bad for him. adlet doesn’t do much fighting, leaving hans to deal with it. “not an inch of his skin is clean of blood” as this fight goes on. later, to keep adlet from causing any problems, tgurneu has one of the big fiends swallow him. he’s stuck in there a good while with its weird prehensile organ cinched around his throat and the potion wearing off.

finally towards the end with the rest of the braves coming to the rescue, he finds the will to escape and attack tgurneu, thanks to some clever situation-manipulation by mora once again.

a good slash to hans’ gut takes him out. adlet holds him again for a minute before chamo has one of her swamp fiends also swallow him for safe keeping lol.

oh i should probably mention that the prologue for this one showed a younger adlet still in training with atro. he’s told to ‘surprise me or gtfo’ because up to this point, he’s shown zero promise or skill, relying only on his need for vengeance. this is when he’s first given the saint blood spike, and it’s also shown that this was when the love spell took effect - a dream about a girl he doesn’t know but wants to protect at all costs. he has to figure out how to use the weapon in a way that no fiend would see coming. so he holds it up and stabs his own chest.

now back to his final battle with tgurneu. he conveniently had two spikes only, used one already that didn’t work because tgurneu is actually a fig-tree thing that controls any fiend that like..vores him, so the saint blood only killed his meatsuit before (he’s now in a large bird-like one). adlet knows he won’t get another lucky stab in, so he lets tgurneu rip his stomach open. he slips the crystal from the second spike into the wound, then grabs tgurneu by the face. his now toxic non-saint blood bubbles up into his throat. tgurneu, ridiculous fool that he is, can only watch dumbfounded as adlet pries his beak open and spits a mouthful of that blood into him. it reaches the fig portion of his body, killing the new meatsuit and forcing him to retreat. he’s helpless like this. adlet only has to go pick him up, tear the fruit-body apart to reach the fiend’s core. adlet stands there, holding the core in his palm. it’s occurring to him that everything he’s become is about to be gone because the love spell was the only reason he became the strongest man in the world. then he crushes the core and collapses, half dead.

fremy goes to him and tries to treat his wounds, but his blood burns her hands. the fiend army is still bearing down on them, so she wraps him in her cloak and carries him on her back herself to the next safe zone. at some point, he wakes up a little bit while they’re still running. his mind is so scrambled, and he feels an indescribable terror that knocks him back out. five hours pass, and when he wakes up to the others arguing about what they should do with him, he finds that he doesn’t feel anything for fremy anymore. he looks at her sitting next to him, says her name like three times, but he can’t summon back that love he felt so strongly.

hans is just in the background sleeping off the second healing session he must’ve had with rolonia. everyone’s pretty worn to the bone.

and that’s basically it. there’s cliffhanger plot stuff that i’m sad i’ll probably never see developed further. oof not to mention the destruction of adlet’s character and his romance with fremy. i can only assume yamagata-sensei intended to rebuild it in the next arc considering tgurneu truly believed that adlet’s capable of achieving the impossible. but yeah, i’ll compile some excerpts for y’all when i can xx

#rokka no yuusha #whumplr #anime whump #temporary death #evil influence #concussion #emotional whump #self sacrifice #stabbed #otp #&#brotp #worry

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rainandhotchocolate · 4 years

Text

Blackout - Part 5

A/N did this take me two weeks to write? Am I complete mess? Lots of questions. ANyways I hope you enjooooyyy! :)))

Part 5

Sirius punched the large figure in front of him repeatedly, feeling bone shatter under his knuckles. Four sets of hands reached forwards and grabbed him across the chest, pulling him backwards.

“He’s not going to share much if you kill him,” Remus growled, pulling Sirius back towards the entrance of the kitchen and away from the scene.

“Get off me,” Sirius tried to kick back but Remus held strong, pushing him forwards into the living room and locking the door behind him. Sirius looked like he was wondering if he could ram the door down, flicking his eyes between Remus and the door. He felt like they were close. They had to be close, Sirius had been questioning informants for weeks waiting to find someone who knew more about that night.

“He must know something,” Sirius huffed, giving up on his pacing and sitting down on the couch. He raked his hands through his hair. Remus leant against the doorframe looking pensive.

“Do you remember anything else about that night?”

“Are you accus-“

“I’m not accusing you of anything, Padfoot,” Remus rolled his eyes, “I’m just saying we didn’t ever speak about it, and in the moment I wouldn’t expect you to be remembering exactly what was happening.”

Sirius didn’t say anything for a few moments. He knew what Remus saying was logical, in the middle of a fight Sirius wasn’t thinking about anything except what was in front of him. But another part of him was saying that he should have been there, should have been watching her. That it’s his fault.

“I don’t know, I remember going in with her, she wanted to check all the rooms first cause she was trying to prove to Dumbledore to be moved up, do more missions by herself.” Sirius shifted uncomfortably on the couch. “We heard movement in the back room, above where the dark mark was. We went in together and I didn’t realise she had moved from my side until she was on the ground and Lily was screaming at me.”

Remus hummed, staring at the fireplace. Sirius kept flashing back to that night, dreaming of different scenarios, Y/N being pulled away from him, screaming in pain on the floor right beside him. Without him noticing.

Three knocks on the door broke him out of his stupor. Remus flicked his wand at the door and it opened to reveal James.

“We got the veritasirum into him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Doing good!” Turpin encouraged, a hand still hovering at Y/N’s back as she inched forwards. It was an odd feeling, like she knew what she was meant to be doing, place one foot in front of the other, you know, walk. But her legs were taking a few seconds to register the thought. They also ached as if she had just gone for a three-hour run but instead her muscles had atrophied from bed rest. Y/N and Turpin currently did four walks a day to the cafeteria for food and then back to her bed.

“Calm movements, the more you force it the more you are going to associate movement with frustration and panic,” Turpin warned as he caught her before her feet tripped themselves up on the stairwell.

“I thought magic was supposed to make things like this easier.” Y/N grumbled, letting Turpin guide her through three deep breaths before continuing.

“If you were at a muggle hospital you wouldn’t even be walking yet.” Turpin smiled at her, “And to be honest you are progressing much faster than we anticipated, many who are hit with the cruciatus curse multiple times aren’t stable enough to be communicating, let along walking.”

“Might have something to do with not remembering it,” Y/N muttered. If Turpin heard her, he didn’t respond, walking slowly beside her as they reached the top of the stairs and moved closer to her room. Another healer was standing in front of the doorway, waiting for them.

“You have a visitor,” She beamed at the two of them, giving a quick look over to Turpin who nodded curtly. Y/N huffed. So clearly, she was still under observation for a potential mental breakdown. Lovely.

Turpin pushed the door open for her and Y/N hobbled inside. Y/N knew who would be waiting for her and hated that she still felt her throat constrict. This time Sirius was holding a large wooden board, placing it down on the bed so that he could come over and help Y/N.

“I’m ok.” Y/N tried to pry Sirius’ hands off her back softly, not wanting to look up at his face.

“She needs to be practising by herself,” Turpin chimed in and Y/N sucked in a breath.

“Oh of course,” Sirius stepped back to walk slowly beside her instead. Y/N winced as the three of them walked at snail pace towards the bed, Sirius clearly taking half steps to match her movements.

“I thought we could play some chess,” Sirius finally spoke again, pulling the wooden board over so Y/N could slip into bed.

“Sounds good.”

“I have to warn you, I’ve been practising,” Sirius grinned, “You might not destroy me this time.”

“I’ll aim for a simple win then.”

Sirius barked a laugh. Y/N had always liked his laugh, in school it was the same, the loud, full bodied kind of laugh that made everyone want to join in.

“You first,” Sirius looked up at her as she decided where to move her first pawn. Sirius had come once every two days with Lily until she had deigned him able to come by himself if he first checked with Y/N. Lily brought different people to visit her each day, Remus brought chocolate and more books, Peter brought sweets from Honeydukes and a large potion that made her feel calm and a bit giddy. James came with Sirius sometimes, sharing stories about his latest escapades under the invisibility cloak and Sirius adding in more embarrassing moments that James would ‘forget’ to bring up.

“Pawn to B3,” Y/N watched the pawn move forwards and looked up at Sirius, suddenly taken aback. He had a long cut carved down the side of his cheek and onto his neck. “Are you ok?”

Sirius narrowed his eyes, momentarily confused, before he followed her gaze and touched his cheek.

“Oh, yeah, just got into a bit of a scuffle on a job,” Sirius grinned but Y/N felt suspicious.

“Doing what? Don’t you work at the Leaky Cauldron,” Y/N watched as Sirius moved his pawn and looked up at her, head crooked to one side.

“Yeah… I meant at…” Sirius cut himself off, still looking at her curiously. “What do you remember doing before, well before.”

“Doing?”

“Like, your job, day-to-day existence.”

“Right,” Y/N snorted, “Uh, I guess I remember working at the ministry? Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Going to the pub with Gideon? I don’t know, regular stuff.”

Y/N shrugged, looking back down at the board, “It’s your turn by the way.”

Sirius’s expression had become more and more alarmed as she’d spoke, but he shook his head and moved his knight.

“What?” Y/N probed, “Is something wrong? Am I missing something?”

“No, nothing.” Sirius ran a hand through his hair. “Well, I guess, do you know what happened to Gideon?”

Y/N felt her breathing hitch as he mentioned the name. Lily had spoken to her about Gideon a week previous. That he was dead. Gone.

“Yeah, got into a fight. Idiot.” Y/N looked away from Sirius, blinking away tears that threatened to fall onto her cheeks.

“Right… yeah.” Sirius bit his lip, looking uncomfortable. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I just guess I’m reliving it. Not that I remember the first time.” Y/N laughed but it came out bitter. “We broke up on good terms, I kind of expected him to be madly in love with some gorgeous girl… not, well. Anyway.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to make it fresh again.”

“All good, you guys have all had time to deal with it is all.” Y/N took a deep breath, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. “Aren’t we playing a game, come on.”

“Of course! Ok, pawn to E4.” Sirius put on a wide grin that didn’t reach his eyes. Y/N felt like she was missing something, but to be honest she felt like that a lot lately.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lily,” Sirius growled, pulling open the door to their cottage and storming into the kitchen. James was stirring a pot of pasta and pointed into the living room.

“In there,” James snorted at Sirius’s expression but did nothing to stop his rampage into the next room.

“Lily!” Sirius called again, louder this time as she spotted her sitting on the couch with a book.

“What, Sirius,” She didn’t bother looking up, turning the page and continuing to read. Sirius pulled the book out from her hands.

“You couldn’t have warned me?” Sirius watched as Lily sat up, her expression frustrated.

“Warned you about what? Going to have to be more specific, Black.” Lily reached out to grab the book but he held it away, getting even more annoyed at her use of his last name.

“About Y/N – she doesn’t remember the order.”

That stopped her. Lily’s brows furrowed and she sat back into the couch.

“What?”

“She doesn’t remember the order! How can you not know this, you told her about Gideon!”

“Yeah, I told her an abridged version, I didn’t think she needed to hear that her ex-boyfriend was bloody torn apart by five death eaters,” Lily hissed back at him, “I didn’t think she had no idea what I was referring to.”

“Well she is pretty sure he got into a fight and somehow ended up dead.” Sirius turned on the spot, stretching out his neck. “And has no memory of doing anything with the order.”

“How do you-“

“I bloody asked her!”

“But we’ve spoken about the order to her – you told her how you met.”

That was true, Sirius thought, sucking in a breath, maybe she just wasn’t sure, foggy on the memories, on what it was.

Amid Sirius’s pacing, Lily had thrown a handful of floo powder into the fireplace and called out “Remus, Peter, are you available?”

Moments later, two boys were stepping out of the fireplace and brushing off their clothes. Sirius turned and hugged Remus and then Peter who squeaked when he gripped a bit too tightly.

“What’s going on? Is everything ok?” Remus began quickly, remaining standing even when Lily nodded to the large armchair to his right.

“Everything’s fine – ok not fine, but there’s no emergency,” Lily corrected herself with a roll of her eyes when Sirius glared.

“Are you all staying for dinner?” James called from the kitchen. There was a chorus of ‘Yes’, and a loud groan from James.

“So, what’s going on?” Peter picked at the edge of the couch cushion nervously. He was always nervous lately; the war didn’t agree with him. Or anyone, Sirius thought.

“We are worried that Y/N doesn’t remember the order.”

“What?”

“Are you serious?”

��Apparently so,” Sirius muttered, finally sitting down on the couch with a sigh. “I asked about it today, she only remembers working at the Ministry.”

“Did you tell her what it is?” Remus asked, looking worried.

“No, of course not,” Sirius waved Remus off and his face slackened, “But I just… it feels specific, right? To go back to before the order. It’s like they didn’t want to kill her but wanted her confused enough to forget what made her dangerous.”

“You think she was targeted?” Peter asked, eyes wide.

“Well it’s not exactly standard for death eaters to erase memory over torture and kill it is.” Lily replied, bitterly.

“But erasing a specific chunk of someone’s memory? That takes a lot of effort and power to control, surely an accidental hit makes more sense.” Remus mused, “And anyway, we haven’t gotten any kind of information that would warrant that kind of specificity, everyone we’ve found has just spoke about killing anyone they saw, on site.”

“Did she say anything about having information? About anything she wanted to tell you?” Lily asked Sirius but he shook his head.

“Nothing that I can remember.”

They fell into a silence, broken only by the sound of James cursing loudly in the kitchen.

“Dinner!” James yelled out to the group and they stood, trapsing into the kitchen. Lily grabbed Sirius’ arm before he went through the door and held him back.

“Hey, just a heads up, I got a note from the healer this morning just after you went to visit Y/N.”

“And?”

“And she’s going to be allowed back home in the next few days.”

Sirius tried to remain calm but he felt his heart pounding and the edges of his lips curl up into a smile. Lily, however, remained straight-faced.

“She’s requested to come here.” Lily kept a hand on Sirius’s arm, watching him closely.

“Oh,” was all he managed to get out.

Taglist:

@averytruerayofsunshine @siriuslyjanhvi @blushingskywalker @blackpinkdolan @thebabblingbookworm @cherrie511 @imlukesnirvana @avengersassemblee @maraudersandco @sly-vixen-up2nogood @sirius-lysad @evyiione @minerva26love @aikeia @gollyderek @greatwombatblaze @songforhema @your-typical-giggle @myownviperroom @hermionie-is-my-queen @demiwitch527 siobhanhope ��delightfuldela nadinissavage fleurmoon treestarrrrrrrr @with1love1anu @findzelda @brighteyedmichelle a-dorky-book-keeper placeforcoolusername damalseer @approved-by-dentists @placeforcoolusername @eury-dice3 @bookscoffeeandracoons

#rainandhotchocolate #sirius x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius x y/n #sirius x you #sirius black x y/n #marauders #marauders x reader

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strawberrytheduck · 3 years

Text

Belle Quacks-Chapter 13

(TW: Mental breakdown/self-esteem issues)

Quackerjack and Bushroot walked the girls home, Quackerjack still feeling protective and Bushroot just wanting to get to know Camellia better. “Thank you guys, for helping us.” The fox said, squeezing Bushroot’s leafy hand. Quacky gave a simple ‘no problem’ where as Bushroot stumbled over his words, saying how he was happy to help and that he was glad they were safe. “You certainly talk a lot, it’s cute. You’re sweet too.” She hummed, looking at the plant mutant. He blushed, his face turning a dark green. A smirk was present on the demented jester’s cheerful face, telling them to ignore him. Camellia asked him what plant he was and to tell her more about it, spurring a lecture that caused Belle to zone out and fall asleep. Quacky happily carried her, tuning out the plant nerds. Camellia seemed happy to talk to him, smiling warmly and running a hand through his petals once in a while. Bushroot never really got to talk like this for so long, not even with Rhoda. Camellia was a lot like her in some ways, smart, pretty and kind. She was also so different, being pagan, a mammal, multiple piercings, confident and strong. The florist was honestly the most beautiful person he’d ever seen and she didn’t mind him, she liked his company. “I really love your passion Reggie, it’s something I admire. This whole thing has been fast paced and chaotic but you’re definitely a highlight.” The mutant unlocked the door and opened it for her, opting to help with Belle. Camellia was fascinated to say the least, who could blame her? Bushroot was the closest being she ever met to a pagan deity, he was incredibly sweet and he was smart, she wanted more time with him.

Belle barely stirred when she was placed on to the bed, letting out a tiny yawn. Jack had to hold his beak shut to avoid squealing at his sister. Bushroot simply ‘awww’ed as he put the covers over her. She had a long day, she was entitled to some sleep. Quackerjack then pulled something out of his pocket, a plush version of himself and a note. He placed the note on the bedside table and the plushie in her arms. “I’m giving her a little me, that way she’ll always have a piece of me or something to cuddle during a breakdown or panic attack.” He stated, kissing her on the forehead. The small, sleeping duck pulled the plush closer to her, nuzzling it slightly. The taller woman chuckled fondly, smiling at the guys. Belle seemed happy and sleeping peacefully. Quackerjack then asked where she’d sleep, instantly pushing her closer to the bed when she said the couch. “I’m sure you’ve shared the bed before, just go to bed.” He insisted. She rolled her eyes, giggling. Bidding them goodnight, she kissed Bushroot on his forehead before joining Belle. The plant had to be dragged out by the other duck, who put the keys on the side, and shook him by the shoulders. “Earth to Reggie, I know you’ve been kissed by a woman you likely think is a goddess but get yourself together.” He said, tapping his friend. The botanist mumbled something, little flowers growing from his petals and around the base of them in a flower crown like formation. ‘Goodness, he’s helpless.’ The toymaker thought, giggling at his friend. Once Bushroot snapped out of it, he looked like a full on floral arrangement. “Well, you fell for her quick. So did Morgana when it comes to Belle. Come on, let’s go.” And with that, they left.

Camellia was already awake and gone when Belle woke up, not that she minded. She was admiring the Jacky plush in her hands, giggling to herself. It looked just like him, complete with a hat secured with Velcro and a very small Mr. BananaBrain in one of his hands. Naturally, she loved it, hugging it close and kicking her legs in the air. “My own little Jacky! Now I can ask you for advice! Cammy’s great but sometimes I think I overwork her.” She said to the cuddly jester. Her eyes caught sight of an envelope on the bedside table. She grabbed it, carefully opening it to retrieve the note. ‘Belle, I thought you’d like a cuddly version of me! A special, one of a kind toy from Quackerjack Toys, just for you! This way, I’ll be there when you need me, even if I’m not there in person. Little Jacky and his tiny friend are guaranteed to light up any dark times. Love Jackson.’ It read. The message was short but sweet, making her happier and love the little doll more. She never had toys growing up, then again, neither did Jack, making this one her first one. Belle swore she’d never part with it, it was her brother after all, just small and available. “So, I’m hanging out with Morgana later, does she actually like me?” The plush fell foward, which she took as a yes. The duck giggled happily, rocking side-to-side. She got up, flapping her hands a little before rushing over to her clothes in order to pick something nice to wear. Belle felt she had to impress Morgana and she didn’t understand why or why she always felt warm or that she had butterflies in her stomach when she was around the sorceress. Maybe she was coming down with something. But how could she from just standing in front of someone and be fine until she thought about them? “Is something wrong with me?” She whispered to herself, picking out a red dress with a black belt that she forgot she had. Morgana would love her in that outfit.

It was a little out of her comfort zone but she didn’t mind, it would impress the sorceress and that was what she wanted. She looked her new doll, a little confused. “Should I wear this? Would Morgana like it?” Jack fell forward again, cementing her choice. Maybe some red makeup? A little eye shadow would draw attention to her eyes Camellia would say. Once she had the dress on, she walked up to Camellia’s mirror and just stared. What is she thinking? This dress doesn’t look good on her at all, her hair is to childish and vibrant to make it look good. The dress was also more low cut and fitted than she was used to, drawing attention to her thin frame and collar bones. She looked sick. ‘This is a mistake, I can’t wear this. But nothing would be better, it’s too hot for my usual outfit. Morgana would want me to wear something like this, surely.’ Belle held back a sob, staring at herself still. ‘My arms look like sticks. Ugly sticks, not the cool ones. My ribs are visible, that won’t do.’ She was a little thinner than average, but not as thin as she thought. Her ribs didn’t stick out a lot, only slightly. But she couldn’t help but notice them and almost every detail of her body. Soon, Camellia came running in, asking what was wrong. The fox saw her friend, fists clenched, palm and fingers down on the desk. Tears spilled from her eyes as she bit her beak, her gaze on the mirror. “Oh Belle, come on, you look great.” Belle heard as she was pulled into a hug. “E-Easy for y-y-you to say, y-you always l-look beautiful.” She sobbed out. Camellia walked with her to the bed, sitting them down. She stroked her friend’s hair, whispering to her. Belle struggled to calm down, reaching for the plush of her brother.

Camellia handed it to her, kissing her forehead. “Hey now, you’re beautiful, wipe those gorgeous eyes, Sweet.” She cooed, tilting Belle’s head upward. The look on the duck’s face broke her heart, it was pure and utter despair. “M-Morgana would w-w-want me t-to wear this, r-r-r-right?” The poor, sweet little thing, she tried so hard. Camellia wiped Belle’s eyes for her, shushing her softly. “Oh Sweetheart, she’d want you to wear what you want, you shouldn’t wear something you don’t like.” She stood them both back up, holding Belle’s hand and bringing her to the mirror. The duck looked at her reflection, still slightly hazy due to left over tears. Camellia was out of the mirror’s frame, leaving her in it. She didn’t know what Camellia wanted her to see. “Tell me what you don’t like here.” Came the soft voice from next to her. “M-My arms, t-they’re twig-like. A-A-And my r-ribs are visible.” Camellia smiled sadly at her, explaining that it was on the inside that counts. That she, Morgana and the Fearsome Four absolutely adored her. That anyone staring was just jealous of her. She was gorgeous, inside and out in their eyes. “It is important, however, that you think you’re beautiful. Tell me, what do you think?” Belle took a deep breath before focusing on her reflection. ‘I shouldn’t wear form fitting clothes.’ A voice at the back of her mind said. “It’s different, that’s good.” She said, trying to ignore that voice. ‘You’re arms are sickly, you could snap them in half. And goodness, you look like a corpse.’ That was sort of true, she didn’t look all that healthy. Still, she didn’t look as bad as she thought. “I look kinda pretty.” She whispered. “I look pretty and confident in this dress. Does it go with my hair? No, but hey, I look good.” Belle said, steeling her resolve.

“See? You always look great, remember that.” Camellia said, hugging her. Belle hugged her back, giggling. She opted to skip the eye shadow, feeling it would spur another crying session and that she didn’t need it. She did put her hair in a ponytail though, putting on some obsidian and ruby earrings to match the dress. Morgana would love her regardless, she told herself. She walked into the main room and pouring herself some cereal, Plush-Jack sitting in her tote bag comfortably. Belle listened to the music from the TV as she ate, watching Camellia set up a spell of some kind. Apparently one that’s meant to bring happiness and overall good vibes if she remembered correctly. She picked up one of Camellia’s various romance books in order to not distract her friend from her daily meditation and also to stimulate herself as she ate. It was surprisingly easy to get into and the book was well loved, clearly one of Camellia’s favourites. A calming aura came over her, making her feel that despite the rocky start, today would be a good day.

#oc fic #oc #darkwing duck oc #darkwing duck ocs #morgana macawber #bushroot #quackerjack #oc x canon

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kryptonianxkara · 3 years

Text

I Fought The Law →

If days with Alex weren’t already exciting enough Kara had been bouncing non stop since Alex had arrived that morning. It truly was a blessing considering the fact she’d wanted to ask Lena about their kisses and if it was something they could do again or if it was only going to be a bed time thing but before she could ask Lena anything, Lena was getting ready and before she knew it Kara was giving her her goodbye hug for the day and she was alone with Alex. She didn’t have long to pout about it though as soon Alex was surprising her with a secret trip to the mall and any thoughts she was thinking before were instantly out the window as Kara bounded down the hall to get dressed. Once they had finally arrived Kara was eager to run around and let off some steam, but she stayed by Alex’s side, talking to her, asking her questions, playing with her tiger.

It was only after they had been in a book store to see some sort of Scientific Author did Kara start to grow antsy.

Sure, it was nice to spend time with Alex doing something the other girl liked to do. But after an hour of listening to science talk Kara couldn’t help it when she started rocking in her spot. Kara wasn’t interested in science, she was interested in candy.

“Alex when can we go?” she whispered, her legs bouncing eagerly as she tried hard to stay in her spot.

“Once this book reading is over,”

Glancing between Alex and the older gentleman sitting in a chair at the front of the group Kara glanced at the book in his hands. Noticing that they had hardly even gotten halfway through!

“But...That’s gonna be forever!”

Blushing a little as the people around them were quick to shush her Kara pouted as she slumped down in her chair.

Noticing Kara playing with her Tiger again, Alex figured they were in the clear. Until she noticed Kara ruffling through her backpack next to her, dropping cereal and other things she didn’t even want to ask about. Sighing a little she leaned over, gently nudging the alien. “Kara, what are you looking for?”

“My juice boxes! I thought I put them in here last night, I-”

“Shh!”

“S-Sorry....I thought I put them in here before Lena and I went to bed....But....No wait! I didn’t because then I got distracted playing with her hair,”

Alex couldn’t help the small fond smile that settled over her face as Kara explained how her night played out, though the smile quickly disappeared as she heard the people behind them shushing Kara, yet again.

“She is being quiet, just relax.” she commented, giving them a small glare before looking back at Kara. She knew the girl wasn’t going to sit still, Kara didn’t sit still ever. Plus as she noticed the cereal bits falling out of her backpack Alex knew this was going to get more messy than anything.

“Okay...You don’t have to sit here, you can go look in the candy store and I’ll meet you there okay?”

“Can I go to the store with the animals?”

“Uh...Not the real ones.”

“What about...My tiger’s animal friends?”

“Yeah, I guess. But only there and the candy store okay?”

“Okay!” Beaming a little Kara quickly zipped her backpack up, sliding her arms back into the straps she leaned over to kiss Alex’s cheek before happily hopping up, not being very discreet as she made her way through the row of people and out of the book store.

“Wait for me there Kara,”

“I will!”

****

Once she was out on her own Kara was feeling slightly overwhelmed, but she just continued to tell herself that she was fine, she knew where she was going and Alex was only right there if she needed her. Everything was fine.

Hanging on to her Tiger’s paw she gave the stuffed animal a small nod before venturing off towards the store that had all of her Tiger’s friends in it. After all, she was most excited about the candy store, so she figured she’d save it for last! That way hopefully Alex would be done her book thing at the same time, then they’d be together again!

It didn’t take long for Kara to get distracted in the toy store, especially when her gaze fell on their newly added Lego section. That definitely wasn’t here the last time Lena brought her here so naturally she had to check it out! Inspecting every box took well over thirty minutes and once Kara had decided which ones she wanted she had them tucked under her arms as she continued to venture around, finding the store was a lot busier than it had been previously, which worked out for her because like always no one tried to talk to her.

It was only when she went to lift her Tiger up to show them their friends did she end up dropping half the Lego boxes, which left her pouting and confused for a second until she realized she had a way to carry them! She had her backpack! And since she didn’t pack those juice boxes it wasn’t as full as usual. Kneeling down she placed the Lego boxes in her backpack before zipping it back up and sliding it back on to her shoulders before leaning up on her tip toes to return to showing her Tiger the other animals.

“Maybe when we get home we can build a Lego room for you and then maybe we can get more friends! But I kind of like having you as my best friend,” she explained to the stuffed tiger as she cradled it back into her arms before eventually making her way out of the store and skipping towards the candy store.

Once there, Kara was instantly beaming. Feeling bright and happy like she always did whenever she was there. Stepping inside she quickly put her Tiger in her backpack, knowing she’d need her hands free. “I’ll grab you again after, I promise! And promises are forever,” she told her small friend before zipping her backpack up and grabbing one of the baskets.

Curiously looking around she figured she should pick some stuff for Lena this time too! Which had Kara thinking about Lena and missing her and wondering how her day was going. Maybe she’d ask if she could go to L Corp tomorrow.

Lena time was the best time after all!

It didn’t take long before Kara had filled the basket, which was when she paused to think that well, she already had a basket from here at home....No, she had two! One was holding her Lego and the other had crayons in it. So surely, she didn’t need to bring another one home, when she didn’t have anything to go in it! Shrugging off her backpack once more she dumped the contents of the basket into her backpack, taking a moment to organize everything before ultimately just shoving it all in. Quickly standing up she glanced around and noticed that Alex still wasn’t there, so she must have been early! Well, it couldn’t hurt to make her way back to the book store, then maybe Alex would be pleased she had gotten everything on her own and they’d be able to go home faster! She was getting rather hungry after all.

Sliding her backpack back on Kara happily made her way out of the candy store and into the main part of the mall, trying to remember what way she was supposed to go to get back to the book store.

When Kara had felt like no one was paying attention to her, one person was. The candy store owner, who had instantly noticed when she walked in and wasn’t with Lena. And though they knew nothing about her, they could at least connect the dots from their past visits that when she came in and had Lena with her, she was with her for a reason, a very important reason, the owner realized as they noticed Kara quickly walking back out of the store after filling her usual basket and suddenly it was gone, tempted to chase after her they figured in case the girl had a mental breakdown or something, the safest option for everyone was calling mall security.

***

Kara had managed to get halfway in the complete wrong direction when she was startled by the man stepping in front of her, though she attempted to step around him he ended up just cutting her off every time. Furrowing her brows in confusion she tried to think of the English word for what she was supposed to say to ask him to move, only he beat her to the punch.

“Ma’am, I’m going to need you to come with me”

“Oh um, I’m not supposed to go anywhere with stra...um...people I don’t know” Kara explained with a quick nod, holding on to the straps of her backpack. Though this man seemed nice enough Kara had seen all black outfits before and she wasn’t a fan of them, nor the people that wore them that’s for sure, except for Alex....Oh no Alex!

“I really do have to be getting back to my friend...Can you tell me which way the book place is please?”

The security guard made eye contact with the co-worker he’d brought along, the one standing behind Kara. A silent conversation that they needed to take her in, without causing a scene and clearly that was going to be an issue, though not the most ethical, they figured their plan would work.

“Of course, we’ll escort you there”

Instantly perking up Kara smiled rather brightly. “Oh thank you! I don’t know if her book reading thingy will be over yet, that book was huge but I really do want to get back to her,”

****

The moment she was lead into a small room with nothing but a table and chair in it Kara realized this wasn’t the book store, and she didn’t want to be here.

“Um...I think we made a wrong turn, I’ll just be going-”

“Sit down please Miss,”

“N-No I really should be-”

“Sit.”

Startling at the raised voice Kara plopped down in the metal chair, biting harshly into her lip she looked down at her lap, that uncomfortable feeling in her chest.

“Your backpack please”

“W-Why?”

“Ma’am.”

Peeking up at the man Kara sighed softly as she shrugged her backpack off, hesitating before holding it out to the man, noticing his friend enter the room again as well Kara quickly looked around before her gaze fell back on them.

“Do you know why you’re here?”

“Um...B-Because you tricked me? I really do need to be going”

“You’re here because we got a call saying that you could have possibly been stealing, all we’re doing is checking and asking you a few questions.”

“S-Stealing?”

Looking clearly confused Kara instantly tensed up the moment she noticed the other man taking her backpack and moving it to a table behind them. Leaning over a bit to try and watch him she furrowed her brows even tighter.

“I don’t under...Please don’t touch those” she quickly adverted as she noticed the man pulling stuff out of her bag, standing up on instinct Kara flinched and squeaked as she was quickly told to sit down again.

Doing her best to take a few deep breaths like Alex had taught her Kara glared down at her lap, she was incredibly uncomfortable and she hadn’t felt this way since the DEO.

“Did you pay for any of the items in the bag?”

“P-p...I don’t...understand” she mumbled, a frustrated and sad sigh leaving her lips. “I...would really like to go home please”

Looking between each other the two security guards shared a sigh and a shrug. Clearly this wasn’t going anywhere.

“Look Ma’am....Everything you took will have to be returned to the stores. We won’t press charges, but you may be banned from the premises,”

Still looking greatly confused and clearly not understanding the next time Kara looked up she noticed all of her candy and the Lego boxes now sitting on the table in front of her.

“But those are...” Instantly growing wide eyed as she noticed the man pulling her Tiger out of the bag Kara perked up. “He’s mine! Please don’t hurt him”

“Everything will need to go back”

“But...he’s...He’s mine! He’s my best friend, we...We share a bed at home, he’s mine...”

Even though she didn’t understand what was going on the panic was truly setting in as Kara realized her tiger was going to be taken away. Her tiger that was clearly worn and dirty and definitely didn’t belong with the shiny brand new objects sitting on the table.

Kara’s gaze stayed intently on her Tiger, not even noticing that the cereal, crayons, and other small knick nacks were also being taken out of her backpack.

“He’s mine....Give him back to me”

Though she didn’t want to be rude, that panic was taking over and was being replaced with a protective side. Looking between the two men who were clearly ignoring her Kara curled her fingers into fists, telling herself to relax she last thing she needed was to start shooting heat beams out of her eyes.

“I...P-Please give me my Tiger back”

Again ignored.

Standing up Kara let out a frustrated sigh as she moved over to the men, reaching for her Tiger she had managed to grasp his leg before they noticed and that was when the unthinkable happened.

With the man hanging on to one end, and Kara hanging on to the other, the moment she went to tug him back, her Tiger’s leg ripped clean off, stuffing flying everywhere and a horrified gasp leaving the tiny alien.

“Y-You....You...He’s broken! Why...Why would you hurt him like that?!” looking down at her own hands Kara couldn’t help the tears that quickly filled her eyes as the realization set in that she had done it...she had hurt him. “Oh no...Oh no, oh no” kneeling down she tried to scoop up as much of the stuffing as she could.

“I think you should leave,”

“Dude she’s the one that grabbed-”

“Don’t worry I’ve got this,”

Taking the remainder of the stuffed animal the security guard leaned down to be at Kara’s level. “I’m sorry about your friend, what’s your name?”

Squeezing her eyes shut Kara shook her head slowly, shaky breaths leaving her as the panic settled in her chest once more.

“H-He’s...broken...I...I broke him...” she looked wide eyed, her breath coming in rapid paces as she couldn’t seem to be able to take an actual breath.

“Hey, I’m sure you can get him fixed. What’s your name?”

“K-Kara...”

“Okay Kara, I’m going to get you some water and then we’re going to talk okay? But we have to stay civil okay?”

“C-civil?”

“Don’t worry about it,”

Gathering all the stuffing off the floor Kara crawled around until she had every little piece picked up, setting it on the table she delicately set her Tiger’s leg next to the stuffing, slowly sitting back down in the chair she wiped at her eyes, harshly playing with her sleeves.

“C-Can I please go home...”

“Kara, do you know your phone number?”

Furrowing her brows she shook her head quickly.

“What about your parents number?”

The moment the word parents set in Kara felt that panic rise in her chest once more, the tears welling in her eyes again.

“I...don’t....n-no parents.” she mumbled, tugging her sleeves over her hands as she hid against her palms, trying to take a few deep breaths.

“Okay...Well do you have a guardian?”

“G-Guardi...I don’t...” sighing a frustrated sigh Kara cried into her hands. “I don’t understand....I just want to go home...”

“Do you have someone who takes care of you?”

Nodding slowly Kara wiped at her eyes with her knuckles. “L-Lena...She...She takes care of me...she’s my friend,”

“Great, do you know her phone number? So I can call her and tell her your here?”

Instantly looking up Kara shook her head a little. “N-No um...I’m...I’m not supposed to be with Lena today, not until later and she...She’s really important but I....I love her a lot...um...yes...I...I need her here.”

Patting around on her body Kara rubbed the side of her head for a moment trying to remember if she had her phone with her today. “My...phone is in my backpack,” she mumbled quietly, rubbing at her eyes once more she reached out to grab her Tiger’s leg, cradling that to her chest for a little bit of comfort.

As the security guard moved to grab her phone Kara didn’t even notice as he went through it and found Lena’s contact number. “I’m going to give her a call and then I’ll be right back okay Kara?”

Nodding absently Kara watched him leave before she quickly moved to grab the rest of her poor Tiger, bringing him closer and delicately laying him on the table, looking over his leg and all the stuffing and feeling even worse about the fact she had literally destroyed her best friend. “I’m sorry...I’m s-sorry”

***

“She’s clearly not all there,”

“Which is why we’re calling someone for her. I don’t think she realized she stole things but she clearly can’t be on her own.” The security guard said simply, getting the number from Kara’s phone he used their’s to quickly call it.

The moment the line picked up he sighed a little in relief. “Hello is this Lena? This is Clint from the National City mall security, we have Kara here and we’ve been informed that you’re her guardian. She was caught stealing and there seems to be a lot of miscommunication between us, and she is quite upset. So we were hoping if you are able to, that you would be able to come down here and we can explain the situation and release Kara back to you.”

Once he hung up Clint moved back into the room with Kara, bringing a small cup of water with him as he set it in front of her, being mindful not to touch any part of the stuffed toy.

“Lena is on her way Kara, so we’ll just sit tight and then we can get this all sorted out okay?”

Nodding a bit Kara delicately took the water, slowly drinking it as she finally started to calm down.

“...she’s gonna be so mad at me...” she mumbled sadly as she looked down at her Tiger. Truly the only thing Kara was concerned about was her tiger and the fact that Lena might be upset that she broke him, that she couldn’t control her powers and she broke him. Truly still not understanding why she was here or what was happening.

****

It had only taken a quick chat with the man at the candy store for Alex to realize that Kara was gone, somewhere in the mall, until he had shouted out at her that she should probably check in with security and that was when Alex’s heart sank into her stomach. Security meant Kara had been caught doing...something. God only knows what.

Quickly making her way to the customer service counter she sighed. “Hi yes, I have a friend, her name is Kara...I’m looking out for her today and I was just informed that she is with the mall security team. If you could just let me get back there I can figure out this situation,”

“Just one moment please,”

Watching as the woman at the desk made a call, explained the situation and then chatted with the person on the other end. Alex absently tapped her fingers against the table, growing a little too impatient but telling herself to chill out.

“They can take you back there, but unfortunately you are not going to be able to see her, as the team have called her legal guardian to come and pick her up. Once the guardian arrives you’ll be free to see her.”

“Legal guardian? But she....Ah fuck.”

#para #p: 013

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varls · 4 years

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Title: About Courage Chapter: One Characters: Reader and her family Pairing: Blake x female Reader Request: Not sure where to put this and idk if you have any use for this but I need to get this off my brain. I had this idea: the reader dressed up as a man to go to war instead of somebody from her family (Mulan-Style if you want) and Tom Blake finds out. Again, idk if you want to make it fluffy or angsty or if you want to use it at all. I just needed to get it of my mind and I like your writing/blog a lot so here you go. — anon Summary: Two of your brothers already died during the Great War and you could see your mother getting sadder and more desperate every day. When your youngest brother is referred to as missing, you make the decision to go to France as well, to find him and bring him back home. But when you arrive, you soon realise you may have not thought it through. Acting like a man isn’t as easy as it sounds and Lance Corporal Blake is a lot smarter than most other men. Warnings: none Word Count: 2.642 A/N: I never planned on making a multiple chapter fic for 1917, but here I am. I will only post this on Tumblr so all I ask for is, that this fic won’t be reposted anywhere else. Also, this first chapter will only include the reader and her family. Just to explain how she got to France. Tom will appear in chapter two. Special Thanks To: @rubinstein1798, who’s an amazing proofreader. I’m so glad you’re doing this.

Until the 28 July 1914, you were living a happy life. Your family wasn’t rich nor poor. Still, you had everything your heart desired. Worries seemed so far away that you would have never believed in the things that were about to come in the next following years. You were your parent’s only daughter. Then they were Harvey and Milton, your older brothers and Finley, your twin brother. You barley ever argued with them. Milton was a little annoying sometimes, but just in ways, every older brother was. Harvey was a nice man. One of the kinds every girl dreamed of. Cunning, kind and strong. He was intelligent but not as smart as Finley. Your twin was a very quiet person. You could nearly always find him sitting on the armchair in the living room, reading one of his many books. He and mum would spend hours sitting there in silence — him reading, her knitting. Your father spent a lot of his time at work. The only times you’d see him was in the late evenings and on Sundays. But he liked it that way. He loved his job and valued the time with his family even more than most other men who’d be at home more often than him. You always knew you had an extraordinarily beautiful family. There has never been a day on which you weren’t thankful for them. But things changed on the 28 July, when you felt the ground falling from underneath your feet. As the war started your father was one of the first ones who had to leave to fight — alongside Harvey and Milton. It was a devastating day for all of you. You still remember your father’s pale face and the sadness in his eyes as he was caressing your cheek, telling you everything would be fine again and that he’d come back soon. In March 1915 your mother received a letter. A letter which made her cry as she took the framed photograph of your father from the stack and vanished into her room. It was at this moment you and Finley realised your father wouldn’t come back. It took your mother three days to come back to both of you. She would still seem a little absent from time to time, but you never said a word about it. As always you let Finley and your mother sit quietly in the living room. The radio was silent for once. No one dared to turn it on. It wasn’t until February 1916 when you received another letter. This time it was you the postman handed it over to. There was a sad look on his face. You didn’t want to know how many of these he had to hand out every day. Probably far too many. This time it was Harvey who didn’t make it. You were beginning to feel anxious. Milton was now the only one left. That meant until April when Finley would finally be old enough to leave home and to join the Great War. You couldn’t say these to words without sounding disparaging. There was nothing great about this war. Young men were dying every day and for what?

The day Finley had to leave was horrible. Your mother was screaming, crying, begging him not to go. She looked like she’s gone mad. It took all your strength to hold her back as Finley was joining seven of his classmates. The uniform didn’t seem to fit him. And he wasn’t wearing it with pride like the others. It hurt how much he reminded you of your father. The following weeks seemed to be a lot longer than they used to before. Your mother barely ever spoke a word. She wouldn’t leave the house anymore, while you were strolling through the nearby forest more often. The feeling at home was oppressive. Being outside alone, breathing fresh air made you feel a lot better. Just cleaning your head until you’d go back to your mother. You felt like it made no difference if you were there or not. It was like your mother was gone as well. A huge part of her seemed to have died alongside your father and Harvey. So you wrote a few letters to your brothers, but they never responded. You weren’t sure if they couldn’t answer or if the letters simply didn’t reach them. You couldn’t wait for Christmas when both of them would come home for a few days. You missed them terribly. And you were just as worried as your mother. Maybe she’d feel better if she saw them again. Though you were already afraid of when she would have to say goodbye again. But the war wasn’t kind to your family. In September 1916 it was Milton who lost his life at the German front line. And in November you received a letter saying that Finley was missing in action. You mother suffered yet another mental breakdown. It was worse than ever before. You hadn’t had the time to mourn Milton’s dead or to worry about Finley. To take care of your mother, so that she would eat and sleep and take the medicine she got from the doctor took all your strength. In the end, it was too much to handle and so you finally wrote a letter to your uncle.

Chester Thompson was your mother’s older brother. He was one of the few men who didn’t have to go to war. He was leading a big cloth mill. Of course, he delivered the fabric for the soldiers’ uniforms. That was his duty during this time of war and you know he was glad that he hadn’t had to leave home. After he received your cry for help he didn’t hesitate. He would send you and your mother a car that would bring you to London, where he lived in a mansion outside of town. He told your mother in a letter that it’d only be for Christmas and that she wouldn’t have to stay for long, knowing that otherwise, she would have declined his offer. The truth was, he was going to get her to stay longer than just a few days. If necessary until the end of the war. He loved his sister dearly and just wanted to make sure she’d feel better soon. That she’d be able to live on her own again.

It was Christmas eve and you were sitting in the living room with Chester and his son. Your cousin was a bit younger than you and Finley. Smaller and very thin, he still looked like a thirteen-year-old boy. But soon it was his turn to leave home to fight for his country. Just by looking at him everyone could tell he wouldn’t last long. You felt sorry for him, but there was nothing you could do to help. “Your mother really doesn’t look well.” Chester broke the silence between the three of you while lighting his pipe. You finally looked up at him again. He was wearing an expensive suit, but he didn’t put much effort in his hair today since a few grey strands would fall into his face as he leaned over a bit. His hair was just as curly as your mother’s. “It was a wise decision to write to me. I haven’t heard from her in a long time. But you know me, (y/n). I’m not worried about something until I know for sure there’s a reason to fret.” “Father always tried to make mother write to you, but she always refused to do so. She said you should be the one to speak first,” you explained with a tiny frown on your forehead. You haven’t seen your uncle a lot in all your life, so you always thought he and your mother wouldn’t get along. But a soft laugh escaped his lips. “That’s exactly what has always been the problem between me and your mother. We’re both too stubborn to make the first move.” Sometimes adults made no sense. You couldn’t imagine not speaking to your brothers. You could be stubborn, too, from time to time, but not like this. You always tried to be as honest as possible. And if you missed your brothers, you told them. Just like you told them when they were being annoying. To not talk to them simply because you were waiting for them to talk first… That just sounded weird to you. It was silent again. You looked away from your uncle to watch the snow falling outside the window. It looked beautiful. Was it snowing in France as well? You let your mind wander. You know it was possible that you lost everybody except for your mother and yet… “Ches? Do you think, Finley could still be alive?” you spoke quietly. If you wouldn’t have spoken to your uncle directly one would think you were talking to yourself. Chester didn’t answer right away. He puffed on his pipe. Now he was the one frowning. Your cousin was moving on the couch as if he was feeling uneasy. You know it wasn’t a nice topic to talk about on Christmas. But hell, you should have been here with your brothers, your father… But they weren’t here. Even your mother prefered to go to bed early instead of spending some time with you. Yes, it made you sad, but you were also feeling anger. This damn war was destroying your entire life. You still didn’t know what you’d do if it ended. You never thought about a life without your family. All of this wasn’t meant to happen. “Well,” your uncle began to speak slowly. “He’s missing in action, right? They didn’t find his body. He could still be alive. But…” Oh no. You didn’t like the word but at all in this case. “Where could he be? Maybe he ran away. You know, many young men flee from the war. Or maybe his body just hasn’t been found yet.” “Excuse me, please.” It was your cousin who stood up at a pace that nearly made you jump. You looked at him through wide eyes. “I’m heading to bed. It’s late and I’m tired. Good night, father. Good night, (y/n). I hope you’ll sleep well.” And with that, he vanished into his room. Your uncle and you stayed silent until you heard a door being slammed shut. Chester sighed. “You have to excuse Charlie’s behaviour. He’s not feeling well for a couple of weeks now.” “He’s scared,” you stated. It wasn’t even a question. “Yes, very much. He believes he will die as soon as he arrives in France. He… He-” Chester’s voice left him. The older man closed his eyes. You could feel his pain as if it was your own as you were watching him from your seat opposite of him. He was going to lose his only child. You knew he didn’t have much hope for him from the way he spoke about Finley. He was trying to be optimistic, but he couldn’t. Charlie was going to die in just a few weeks. The training at the barracks wouldn’t help him. Chester already told your mother in private that Charlie’s skills weren’t improving. As if his mind resisted learning something that could harm others. Charlie had one week left at home. Just one week. Finally, you stood up as well. “I’m going to bed, too, uncle.”

It was a terrible 25th December. Yes, all of you were handing out Christmas Presents, but no one was as happy or joyful like it should have been. None of you got, what you really wanted. All four of you wished for things which were impossible to give. But you had an idea. A foolish one that could go awfully wrong, but… Maybe it could save your brother and Charlie’s lives. Just as expected you stayed longer at your uncle’s place. One week passed and finally the day you were waiting for came. It was early in the morning and Charlie just went to the bathroom to get ready. You’ve seen him walking through the floor. His legs and hands were shaking. He was so scared. It would be a lie to say you weren’t, but you felt like you needed to do this. Not just for yourself, but also for the rest of your family. Chester and your mother went to church. Probably to pray for Charlie before they would have to come back to say goodbye. So it was just you and the boy. Carefully closing the door to your bedroom, you sneaked over to the bathroom. Nobody seemed to have noticed the missing key you took the night before. Now you used it to lock Charlie up in the bathroom. You hated yourself for doing this, but otherwise, he’d probably stop you from following your plan. “I’m sorry,” you whispered to yourself, before walking away to get into your cousin’s room. His uniform was spread out on the bed. It was clean and neat, ready to be worn. Your hands touched the fabric carefully. Were you really going to do this? You knew the risk. You knew it was going to be dangerous. And you had no training at all. But all you wanted to do was to find Finley. To make sure he was alright. And if your family would play along, it would give Charlie a little more time to stay at home. He wouldn’t have to die. You took a deep breath. You still could have changed your mind, but there was no going back for you. You needed to do this. You had to try. So you took on Charlie’s uniform. To your surprise, it fit you perfectly. You even managed to hide your breast by binding them. You also spend the night cutting your hair. It was short now. Looking into the mirror you found there was not much left of you. You looked like a boy now. And that’s exactly what you wanted.

A sudden and loud noise made you jump. It was Charlie. He was banging his fists against the bathroom door, screaming for help. Again you felt guilty for locking him up so you ran through the floor to talk to him. You knew you had to leave. Your mother and uncle would come back soon and you needed to be gone until then. “Charlie, I’m sorry,” you said as your hands touched the wooden door. “I can’t let you out.” “What? Why?” Your cousin sounded like he was having a panic attack, which did not necessarily make this whole situation easier for you. The uniform felt just as heavy on you as the guilt. “I’m going to find Finley. And… And you are going to have some more time at home,” you tried to explain, knowing what you said sounded insane. “(y/n), what-” “Just hide, okay? Don’t let anybody see you’re still here or we’ll both be in great trouble.” Your voice was shaking. “(y/n), you can’t just-” “Goodbye, Charlie… And good luck.” You let go of the door and turned your back on it as you were walking down the hallway to leave the house. You could hear Charlie screaming your name. He punched his fists against the door again, but it wouldn’t stop you. You were certain to do the right thing. You stopped abruptly in front of the chest of drawers. There was an old picture. It showed your uncle and your parents. Your mother was holding a baby. It must have been Harvey. You touched the cold glass of the picture frame. They all looked so happy. Your eyes filled with tears, but you didn’t allow yourself to cry. Charlie’s screams seemed far away. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” you whispered again before stepping out into the freezing cold.

#1917 #1917 fic #1917 imagine #tom blake imagine #tom blake x reader #tom blake #writing #about courage

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