sapnap is so fucking funny for using linkedin
I had never once realized this was something you could actually look up and see
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Batfamily Powerpoint Night! (Part 6: Stephanie)
<<Part 5: Cass | Part 7: Damian >>
[Masterlist]
Steph: Okay my turn! Bruce I think you’ll be impressed by research and persuasiveness.
Bruce (head in his hands): How do I already have a migraine from this
Steph: My words are just that powerful, B-man.
Tim: I like the typo, really gives the impression of “professional social media manager”
Duke: Steph you are so brave
Tim: I’ll be surprised if you make it out of this alive. But you’re so right
Babs: Yeah like I applaud you for saying what we’re all thinking but it will probably get you killed within the next five minutes
[disgruntled Bruce noises]
Jason: HA not the list of descriptors in the bio
Tim: For someone with “father” as 50% of their twitter bio you could tweet about your kids once maybe
Damian: It is very clear that you only post what is asked of you by your corporate underlings.
Dick: You met Kris Jenner???
Bruce: I don’t think this information is relevant to my duties
Tim: You don’t know who Pedro Pascal is?
Babs: You’re a celebrity, Bruce, I think it applies very heavily to at least one of your double lives
Dick: YOU MET KRIS JENNER?
Jason: Even I know this stuff and I actively try not to
Jason: I don’t know how much he’ll love you after this
[Bruce migraine noises]
Cass: (signing) He loves you :)
Tim: Another typo...
Duke: Steph how much time was it
Steph: Nope. We’re moving on
Babs: You made a Go Fund Me to make a... “Spoiler Signal”...?
Steph: Yeah do you want to donate I can text you the link
Babs: I think I’m good
Dick: I hate that tweet
Jason: You did it to yourself dude
Damian: Did you receive that footage of Timothy’s fall?
Steph: Yeah I’ll airdrop it to you :)
Tim: Yeah maybe let’s get rid of the vigilante twitter accounts
Jason: I clearly was coerced into that statement
Bruce: Jason why don’t I have your phone number?
Jason: Stephanie
Tim: YOU TEXTED BERNARD?
Steph: He knows a lot about Gotham’s vigilantes
Tim: Where did you get his number? Why did he already know it was you??
Steph: Oh we talk all the time :) Anyway,
Bruce: I’m sure you all remember why I was in GCPD’s headquarters.
Tim: To be fair that was mostly Damian’s fault
Damian: Todd purposely provoked me, the blame is his.
Jason: Okay but why would you bring a grenade to a gala?
Dick: We’re all sorry for fighting at the party can we not rehash this right now guys
Jason: See I would follow this Bruce Wayne.
Tim: Except Steph you’re definitely not the favorite, especially after this
Duke: Why does “The Batman” only tweet in the third person
Steph: I think it fits the vibe
[noises of collective agreement, and Bruce’s pain]
Steph: So Bruc-
Bruce: No.
<<Part 5: Cass | Part 7: Damian >>
[Masterlist]
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Consistently shocked by the idea that people think Bradley Rooster Bradshaw is chill and laid back. He’s actually shockingly unchill. He is the opposite of chill. He did not inherent any of his parents chillness. He’s a loser who’s too invested in everything.
Like ya hi I’m Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw and I cut off my remaining family, surrogate father, and support system for 15 years cuz he pulled my naval academy papers because he didn’t want me to die like my biological father and because my mother wanted me to be free of the navy’s confinements and to exist outside of a system that physically uses me for their own power and political gains— gains I will never experience and feel for myself. A system that sees me as no more than a number, a soldier, something easily replaceable, as a body to be sacrificed in a war that i did not start nor will i finish.
“Bradley's chill.” No he’s not. He’s a beast. He’s a 30 something year old man whose entire purpose revolves around holding a grudge and proving his surrogate father wrong. This beast who literally said this to his surrogate father— "No wife. No kids. Nobody to mourn when you burn in." Beastly. Ghastly thing to say. 15 years and he still hates the guy who's been there for him since day one. He’s a guy who refuses to even begin to understand where Mav was coming from or to even think of what his mother wanted. He’s evil. And I love him.
Hi I’m Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw and when someone brings up a well known, easily accessible fact that my father and surrogate father used to fly together I will try to cause physical harm against them and my friends will have to physically hold me back. I’m Bradley Bradshaw and I was willing to put my entire career on the line (the one in which I put my family aside for) so I can attack and beat this guy up.
I love his big ol’ Bambi eyes… he’s evil and fucked up and he’s not chill. Yes he wears jorts and tropical shirts, but that just means he’s gay and a fucking liar. Just cuz he looks like some surfer dude does not mean that he’s actually laid back like one. He’s lying to himself— trying to convince himself he is something that he is not and never will be. He is unchill. He’s lame. He has undiagnosed anxiety and it physically expresses itself through anger and loserly-ness. He cares so much to the point of self sabotage. He will always be unchill, no matter how much he tries to change that fact.
Y’all ever want to cradle a grown man in your arms? (graphic design is my passion)
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