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#i walked in with base knowledge and watched more from there
redrobin-detective · 8 months
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Its 8:30 in the morning and I'm already crying over a cartoon miniseries. Y'all have watched me lose my mind for a few weeks over Fionna and Cake and I'm sorry for that but, it just hit me. The audience is children who grew up with stories of magic and mystery and adventure and go to their 20s/30s and realized the world isn't all princesses and vampires and chaos deities. But people, normal depressed lonely people can find their own purpose and happiness if they're willing to go on their adventure of self discovery.
The series is, at once, about the characters of Adventure Time but also the fans who watched Adventure Time in a weird, meta, kindly way. Just like Adventure Time.
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cheswirls · 6 months
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hhhhhhhhhhhh saboace royalty au. ace was crown prince but can’t use magic which is necessary to become king, so he renounces his title and becomes infamous for his eccentric tendencies to play up the illusion that he’s truly not meant for the throne and that his younger sibling has full rights to the title of heir.
sabo is born to a family serving in the royal court, has been a genius magician since he was a child, and is the perfect example of a young man fully educated to serve at the king’s side. which is why he’s allowed himself to be tied down into a loveless political engagement with the king’s heir, putting the whims of his family before his own and resigning himself to become the future ruler’s consort/spouse to legitimize his role as an advisory right-hand man.
but then the heir grows rebellious and denounces the engagement with sabo in public and ace swoops in to save the day (and sabo’s reputation), demanding his father give sabo to him instead. he steals sabo away and challenges his sibling’s right to the throne, intent on earning back the title not for himself, but so he can make sabo (who is heavily qualified to rule) the king - and since they’ll be wed, no one will be able to undermine sabo’s position as he will technically be part of the monarchy that governs the kingdom.
#op#i…aaaaaaaaaaaa iykyk but if you dont small tangent story time#i asked friends for magical show recs w unique magic concepts bc i decided to set the#toxic codependent forever-bond in a fantasy au so i can make it be a set of self-inflicted curses#the only free time i have is walking to and from work so ive been scribbling notes on my phone#thinking of what type of magic system to have for this one was becoming a distraction#esp since the focus rly isn’t on magic itself and only on aspects of the bond that show how unhealthy it is#instead of obsessing over it more i decided to have someone decide for me#flash forward one of them brings up using the fantasy yuri anime that came out early this year#then proceeds to give me the rundown of all seven published light novels until i cave and watch the pilot episode#its SO good i actually watched 2 and love anis and euphie and will definitely be reading the LN over winter break#also completely snapped me away from the au bc i am so in love w this now#went in to ep 1 with misconstrusions and fell halfway thru screaming this is so saboace core and i have a halfbaked plot at the ready#thinking smth smth sabo visits the palace to get acquainted w/ fiancee and makes fast friends w/ ace#then they realize they have legit feelings for each other and the whole thing was gonna be a play#on the steals-partner-from-sibling trope that i jus loosely dreamed up bc algard reminded me of sabo and then i couldnt not think of them#but then i finished the ep and went OH it went down like that!!!! thats brutal. and then i changed it#and then i watched ep 2 and changed it further based on glossed-over advanced plot knowledge#bc the solution to algard feeling pressure from a title he never wanted and anis rejecting it in the first place#is obv (in this very yuri-centric fantasy novel) to make euphie queen instead and legitimize it by her marrying anis#and then i hyper projected that onto saboace bc i love them so#yessa after letting me ramble abt this so i could resist the urge to furiously jot down notes: i think val made you worse actually#(shes not wrong also val responding w ‘lmao wlw wins again’ and nothing else had me in stitches#best/worst influence it is 5am and i have done nothing for my studio class yet am having the time of my life)#curse of the average hobbyist writer to always have good ideas when there is no time no breathe life into them#writing
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incognit0slut · 6 months
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All I Need
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Spencer realizes how much he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. What better time is there to propose if not in the middle of making love? Based on:
Warnings: 18+ mature content but nothing too explicit, this is just sweet love making
words: 2077
A/n: I’m supposed to finish my last kinktober and update my series, but both are very heavy and I needed something sweet to defrost my writer's block. I hope you don’t mind me squeezing something else until I finish my other WIPs🥲
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“…every time I look into your eyes I see it, you’re all I need…”
SPENCER KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. There wasn't a single thing he wasn't familiar with—from every mole, every scar, to every stretch mark. Any imperfection you considered of yourself he found to be perfect.
He was well aware of the small scar on your hip bone. Or the mole resting at the back of your thigh. Or the way you disliked caffeine, because every time you drank it, it increased your heart rate drastically. Which was why you always judged him every time he had a cup of coffee in his hand, especially with the amount of sugar he never seemed to stop adding.
"That is definitely not healthy," you would always say, to which he simply responded with a small peck on your lips. It was his way to shut you up without saying anything.
He also knew how soft you actually were underneath that hard exterior you always carried. You were an enigma the first time you joined the team, but Spencer always had a soft spot for mystery, and solving you became his mission even when he wasn't the best at maintaining conversations. He remembered making a fool of himself when he talked to you, stuttering about one of the random facts engraved in his brain.
But you still listened to him, and for once in his life, he finally found someone who didn't mind hearing him talk. It was nice to have somebody who found his knowledge interesting, and with that thought in mind, it didn't take long for him to take an interest in you.
Not that he wasn't interested at first, because honestly, you were a splendid sight when you first walked through the door. It was more so an interest that was considered surpassing a simple friendship. An interest that had him push his confidence into asking you out.
Spencer never pegged himself as someone who would be content having a significant other in his daily routine—his past relationships never seemed to work out, after all—but the more time he spent with you, the more he realized he was actually in pure bliss. It seemed as if you had cast a spell, drawing him deeper into your presence, a magnetic force of affection that went beyond the superficial. Every smile, every touch, seemed to emanate a radiant heat, and he couldn't help but be entranced by the sheer magnitude of your warmth.
Especially at this moment, staring into your eyes as they slowly fluttered open from a long night of slumber, he found himself leaning forward. You were so warm, so inviting. The soft light coming from the curtains cast a shadow over your curves and he couldn't help himself from trailing down your body.
You were fully awake now as he pressed his lips on every part of your skin. The slight movement of your arms wrapping around his neck had him grunting, and somehow he was suddenly positioned between your legs, pressing his hot length onto your wet folds, wanting nothing else but to push himself deep into your warmth.
As he watched you beneath him, eyes half closed, mouth open in anticipation, he couldn't help but mutter his next words because you looked breathtakingly beautiful. Heavenly gorgeous covered in a sheen of sweat, so damn pretty with eyes full of desire. You looked like a siren, an angel, and a lustful woman all rolled into one.
Everything about you was so divine, and the desire to consume every part of your existence became an insatiable hunger. It was a need, a yearning that made the idea of spending a lifetime without you seem unfathomable as if oxygen slowly drained from his world, leaving him breathless. 
The words bubbled up from the depths of his heart, and before he could second-guess himself, he blurted out, "Marry me." 
Your eyes snapped open as he finally sank his hips into you, and before you could even respond, before you could even register his words, his rough thrust stole the breath from your lungs. Rational thoughts shattered as he filled you completely, stretching you in a way that was slightly painful yet completely pleasurable.
He slowly pulled out, then pushed back in, your back arching, legs wrapping around his waist. "Spence," you moaned as he started a steady pace, trying to gain your focus but failing miserably. You couldn't think of anything else except the sensation between your legs. "Oh, God."
Languid and smooth, his hips continued to roll into you. "This feels good, doesn't it?"
The feel of his cock sinking in and out of you had your head falling back against the mattress. Your fingernails tightened upon his back, and he drove you gently into the bed with low grunts. His voice was rough, broken by focused breaths. "We could do this every morning."
A whine broke out of you.
"I'd wake up first," he told you. "I'd make you breakfast in bed..." He slipped out again before thrusting into you slowly, dragging his cock along your inner walls that had you mewling. "...right after I wake you with my tongue between your thighs."
You let out another moan. He drank in the sound with a smile before lowering his mouth to the base of your neck. Heated kisses trailed along your skin as his fingers trailed down the outline of your body before they stopped at the warmth between your legs.
Your mouth was wide open against his shoulder, eyes watering with the force of pleasure from having his cock smacking through your wetness, his body forcefully shoving your knees apart. You felt his fingers trailing your clit in slow circles and you arched your back, each tender brush tightened that coil of heat simmering in the pit of your stomach. The simulation drove you further into a haze of pleasure that a soft yes finally escaped your lips without you realizing it.
The barely whispered word didn't go unnoticed by him.
"Yes to this," he wondered as prompted his weight on his other hand. "Or to my proposal?"
You glanced up at him, your face a mixture of pleasure and alarm as you gave him a look. "You're crazy."
He watched you closely, mesmerized by the way your hips were bucking every time his cock hit that soft spot inside you while his fingers continued their tease. "Maybe." He leaned down and softly bit your shoulder. "But I am crazy in love with you."
When you didn't respond, he slowly pulled away and fixed his gaze on you. Your reaction, or lack thereof, spoke volumes, and as his eyes met yours, he found himself captivated by the reflective pools of emotion within. There was a hint of fear and concern, shadows that danced with the flicker of uncertainty. Yet, beneath those layers, he could see the distinct longing in your eyes. It was hard not to distinguish it as it matched the same look in his. Your stare was warm and domineering.
They were so full of love.
And that moment, Spencer realized, that was what you were to him—love. You were the greatest passion he had ever known.
You felt completely in the moment with him as you let your gaze scan over his features. His eyes appeared darker in this light of the room, but you could still see the soft lightness of them. Then, you leaned up, noses brushing gently against each other before you pressed your lips onto his. His body moved again in response, hips bucking into you and you felt him pulsing inside your core as his mouth worked harmoniously along yours.
"Marry." Thrust. "Me." Thrust.
You whimpered. Everything was too much. The intensity of the pleasure was almost intoxicating, a heady concoction that wrapped around you, rendering you momentarily breathless.
"Having you for the rest of my life is a privilege." He continued, grunting as you clenched around him. He lost himself with one final, jagged plea. "Marry me and make me the happiest man alive."
His words, touch, and the stroke of him inside you—it all blurred together. It pushed you so wildly that the coil in your stomach twisted sharply through along your body. He lunged down to kiss you again, tongue pushing deep as he stole your moan before it could break into the air. He tugged you into him at the same time that you submitted to his pull.
There were times when you would appreciate this. The contact, the intimacy, the warmth of your boyfriend connected with you. Right now though, you needed release. So you buried your hand in his curls, all messy and askew.
"Spencer," you breathed out against his lips. Each of his thrusts fed the growing flame in your body as your body turned pliant for him. “Oh god, yes,” you cried, head thrashing side to side as your eyes rolled back, overwhelmed by pleasure.
He peppered kisses over your neck, your jaw, your temple, desperate to be even closer to you, to melt into you. "Yes to what?"
Your senses were heightened, every touch and every breath seemed magnified in the intensity of the moment. Your body shuddered with every vicious thrust.
"Yes, yes, yes." A desperate, needy little whine slipped past your lips and you opened your eyes wide to give him a pleading look. "Spencer, please, please."
You were panting, your breath hot and your skin even hotter, and you could barely hear him when he spoke, "Yes to what, Angel?"
Angel. The syllables carried a warmth that resonated deep within your heart. Sometimes you were his Angel. Sometimes you were his Sweetheart. While you cherished the way he expressed his affection, a yearning for more had taken root.
Marry me.
You could be more than his angel. You could be his wife. But it wasn't just about the affectionate words anymore; it was about a promise, a shared future, and you realized as he hovered above you, all sweaty and desperate, that you wanted to feel this bliss every day. How could you not when he fits so perfectly inside you that you could swear he was made for you?
And then you felt it, his hand trailing down your arm before it stopped right along your fingers, intertwining them with his. Your hand clutched onto his as his thrust sped up a fraction—but it was still deep and lazy, enough to make you squirm. His cock was achingly hard inside you and when you clenched down on him, you adored the twitch and resounding moan it drew out of him.
You wanted this for your life. You wanted him every day. You wanted to wake up each morning in his arms, him whispering sweet nothings as he buried himself inside you.
You wanted him so much you would be a fool not to accept his proposal.
"Yes," you breathed out. "I'll marry you."
He grunted against your lips. "Say that again."
His thrusts were now fast and ruthless, his groans filling the room while the sound of skin slapping together echoed with it. Every time you could feel him deep inside you, it brought you closer to that familiar coil in your stomach. It was a heady sensation, an intoxicating blend of desire that quickened your pulse and set your senses ablaze.
"I—shit," you cried out, legs shaking at the pleasure traveling along your body you were starting to wail desperately for your release. "Fuck, baby, I'll marry you."
A sound of satisfaction erupted from him as he kissed you with every ounce of power he had. He kissed you as he had never kissed anyone before. He kissed you deeply, possessively even, and it was messy and rough and probably looked horrific from different angles, but it felt perfect.
You felt perfect. Your lips. Your curves. Your scent. It was as if you were made especially for him. He was fully consumed with you, consumed by you, and yet he couldn't get enough. Though you were beneath him, he was at your mercy, and the fact that you could still have such control over him made his stomach twist even more.
He was so in love with you. He was so sure of it, so sure of this abundance of passion, for Spencer Reid could sometimes be dense when it came to sudden bursts of emotions, but he was not stupid. He wasn't oblivious, nor was he lacking in perception. It wasn't about intelligence or lack thereof, it was simply about the purity of his emotion. 
And he was deeply, unequivocally in love.
.
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scientia-rex · 2 months
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One of my patients used to be a Big Deal Specialist in the city and you can just TELL he’s SEETHING that no one out here is even qualified to understand what he did, much less how important he was. He’s also terrified of death. It’s both annoying and really sad. Like, sir, I hate to break it to you, but no amount of knowledge will protect you from the ravages of time. It’s a special kind of hell to know the stages of various fatal diseases intimately. What is it going to feel like when it’s my turn? How do doctors want to die? Suddenly, quietly. Slip away painlessly in my sleep. But how likely is that? Not very. More likely I’ll get cardiovascular disease or cancer, the greatest killers of our time.
He was so afraid of cancer he had an organ that wasn’t cancerous removed just in case. He talks down to me as if I’m his student, and who knows? Maybe I was. He was in the same city as me, and they were forever dragging Big Name Doctors in to teach us things. Maybe I learned how to elicit Achilles tendon reflexes from him.
But mostly I find myself a little scornful. Who lives without the shadow of death? Who doesn’t think about death all the time? When you die, life is a round thing, finished and whole. What will your life look like when God holds it in the palm of his hand?
Also don’t fucking call me by my first name unless I’ve specifically said you can. I don’t GIVE that permission to patients, except for my mentally ill trans and queer patients. If I wanted to be disrespected by an older man I would have married young.
You do not have time. This important doctor who based his whole life around his importance lived as rich and full a life as anyone. And now he’s clinging to it, leaving fingernail marks on the walls on his way out. No one has time. There will be a moment when you’re dying when you think, I would give anything I have to be back in that moment. Any ordinary moment. Taking the dogs out to go potty. Browsing at the grocery store. When you’re being crucified on a hospital bed, dying and aware of it through the morphine, you would give anything you ever possessed to go back and have one more agony-free afternoon. Sit on a curb or a stoop. Walk through a park. Hug your spouse. These tiny fragmentary moments that we are constantly sliding through, tobogganing past at high speeds, these are what will be our life when our life is over.
I am accountable to that self. To the dying me. What did I do with this gift and curse? I don’t believe in God, but I know that I will die, and I have watched enough dying people by now to know the kinds of things I’ll think about. I want to make that me proud of what I’ve done and how I’ve spent my life. She will be a harder judge than God, and I want her to look at this one little life and think, yes. I did what I meant to.
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ch3rriiii-bunn · 3 months
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You belong to me
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Paring: upper ranks + Muzan x Fem!reader
Synopsis: In different pov's, their jealously turn them a bit crazy
Content: possessiveness, jealousy, hinted smut, choking, fave grabbing, slight blood play, demon reader in Akaza, Nakime and kokushibo's part, kidnapping on Douma and Muzan's part, escape attempt, Muzan grabs you by the neck like that one guy in 365 days lol, arranged marriage theme on Muzans part
A/n: yall know that song by the weeknd? had to write some possessive jealous shit based on that song with some demons! WHAAAA I NEVER WRITTEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!🥴might do one with the hashira next🤭
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Akaza
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Akaza is known to not like his fellow upper ranks. You've seen it first hand when Muzan allowed you to attend an upper rank meeting since you became a demon by Akaza. He hated them all with a passion. Especially the ones ranked above him. With this knowledge, what in the hell possessed you to give any of them your attention?
Not just any upper rank, either. Douma in particular. In your defense, once Douma starts speaking, it's hard to shoo him off, especially given that you're much weaker than Douma is, so you play along to keep your reputation on a good note. You simply smile and nod at his nonsense. You knew Akaza wasn't going to step in since he'd rather run in the sunlight than talk to Douma if you were on your own.
How wrong you thought you were. Once Muzan actually left, Douma become more bold. Asking you personal questions, standing to close and even about to hold your hand, but before you could answer, you heard the sounds of blood splatter on the floor. Your eyes widened at how quick Douma's arm was severed.
"Oh, come now, lord Akaza. I was just joking-" "Shut up for once." Akaza snarled at douma in pure disgust. You wanted to say something, but you felt your feet leave the ground. Akaza had grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder and walked away from Douma while holding you. It always amazed you just how fast he was, but you knew how mad he was. The anger was just raiding off Akaza.
Akaza made sure to be far away from the other upper ranks in the infinitely castle and walked into one of the many empty rooms. Akaza put you down, but then, he backed you up against the wall. You felt your back press flat with your hands on the wall as well, giving how close he was to you. "Lord Akaza, please don't read too much into it. Douma was just being an idiot. " You tried to explain, but Akaza wasn't having any of it.
Akaza raised his brow. "So you're defending him?" His voice rasped as he tilted his head to the side. "No.." Your tone softened and looked at Akaza, worried since that wasn't your intentions. "I don't think I've made myself clear enough if my actions haven't shown it already." Akaza said and brought his hand to your collar bone and rested it there for a moment.
"Demon's I hate don't get the right to talk to who belongs to me." Akaza's face comes closer to yours with his lips now inches away from yours. His hand moves from your collar bone, up to wrap around your throat. "And you entertain a demon like him. Even saying his name from these lips. His fucking, name" Akaza's jaw clenched, and his hand tightens kts grip on your throat.
"Aka..za" his name hitched in your throat. His grip was deadly. You could still breathe. However, Akaza's grip was firm. He wouldn't dare kill his precious demon. It was just a "light" punishment. However, he needed you to learn your lesson and to show your loyalty to him and him alone. "Say my name properly. Or is my strength too much for you to speak?" Akaza smirked.
"L-lord Akaza. Lord Akaza~" you say his mamw twice. The second time you say it, you let out a heavy gasp as akaza lossend his grip on your throat. "You belong to me. Understood?" Akaza asked, keeping that eye contact and tightening his hand around your throat if you dared to look away. You nod quickly, your eyes almost teary from the slight lack of oxygen, and you watch Akaza's lips curl into another smirk.
"Good girl." He chuckled and gave you a kiss.
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Nakime
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Your girlfriend, Nakime, had summoned you to the infinitely castle. It's her job to always summon the 12 kizuki at the request of Muzan. Naturally, you felt terrified but remained to have a calm once you were summoned. However, Muzan was nowhere to he seen. Just Nakime, sitting there, a level above, and you looked up at her in confusion.
"Pardon for speaking out of turn, but where is lord Muzan," you asked, assuming it was him who wanted to speak with you, but it turns out that wasn't the case. "It was I who summoned you." Nakime spoke, her tone a bit quiet yet blunt. You chuckled and cut the formal introduction since Muzan isn't here, and you can speak freely since it's just you and your girlfriend.
"You do know it's probably a bad idea to summon me since you're taking me away from my work. Search of the blue spider lily and all." You grinned at Nakime and palced your hand on your hip. "I was keeping an eye on you. One of upper 4's clones has gotten closer to you. Haven't he? " Nakima said. You detected slight irritation in her voice, mentioning one of Hantengu's clones, but instead of asking a question for a question, you always knew it was better to answer her first.
"Ah, Urogi, yes. I wouldn't say we are close. However, he's a fun demon to work with. He likes to have a bit of joy and humor on our search," you answered. It isn't abnormal for Nakime to use her blood demon art this way. Especially since she's on the lookout to find the ubuyashiki family in the demon slayer core. Still, you couldn't hide your smile knowing Nakime was most likely thinking about you and wanted to check in on you.
"I forbid you to speak to him. Your task is to look for the spider lily. Not entertain each other with humorous jokes and touching," Nakime said. Her words made your heart spot for a moment and knew exactly what she was talking about. Urogi has always been proud of his sharp talons and would often tease you with them, but on this mission, he wanted to take it up a notch and poked your cheek.
To you, it was a wholesome moment. Urogi was just teasing, nothing different he dosnt do to the others, but Nakima had to see that, and she was furious. Urogi only touched you once in a playful manner, and it was enough for her to use her blood demon art to summon her back to you in that very moment. "He was getting too close to you for my liking and being bold enough to do that. Especially bringing those filthy claws of his to touch my woman's pretty face."
During this entire time, her facial expression remained unchanged until now. You could see her lips form into a frown and even watched as her teeth clenched together in a snarl. She was jealous. "Urogi was just being playful. I wouldn't read too deep into it, love. Sekido is probably scoling Urogi right now for wasting time to focus on finding the blue spider lily." You reassure Nakima, but she wouldn't let it go.
"Come here." Nakime took her biwa off her lap and rested it gently beside her on the floor and motioned her finger for you to come sit in front of her. You did as Nakime asked and sat down in front of her. You wanted to explain further to find the right words to reassure Nakime, but before you could, her hand grabbed your face
You gasped. Your breathing became unsteady as you felt her firm grip, her four fingers on one cheek while the other had her thumb, or rather her nail, poking onto your skin. The same spot Urogi poked at. "I will not allow a man's to touch to linger on what belongs to me." Nakime's voice turned cold. "You belong to me." She said as her thumb nail pressed harder, breaking your skin until blood slowly pours out.
Your jaw opens, and you inhale a sharp breath with your eyes barely open as you feel the sting. You're a demon, so of course it'll heal, and Nakime didn't pierce too deep. It was her way of wanting to hear her words come out of your mouth. You kept your eyes on her and eventually spoke up. "I belong to you~" Your voice hitched as you felt nails nail pull away from your skin.
Nakime leaned in closer to lick the blood from your cheek and watched as your cut healed already. She kissed your cheek and then came closer to your ear and whispered, "That's right. You belong to me, beautiful." Nakime said. Her hand lets go of your face and then trails her sharp nails down your neck.
You shivered until her fingers reached your kimono, near your tits and Nakime smirked. "I should remind you of how a woman's touch feels. So you'll never let another man touch you again," Nakime said. You bit your lip softly, feeling the heat rise higher in your body and your thighs squeezing together more. "I want that," you said, and Nakime's smirk only grew.
"Open your thighs for me and lay back. I'll show you how good these fingers work other than playing a biwa"
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Kokushibo
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His brother has been dead for centuries. Yet his name still echos throughout history but never would kokushibo think that his brothers name, yoriichi, would leave your lips.
Although you're a demon now and have been for a while now, you could still recount memories you had during your times as a human, especially in the demon slayer core. It was basically a law for any of the 12 kizuki to never speak of Yoriichis' name, yet you just had to talk about him since gyokko was curious to know how humans thought of him.
"Yoriichi has sun breathing. That's the best way to describe why he's well known even after his death. He could kill any demon in seconds. It's quite impressive," you admit to gyokko, and he nods his head, humming in response. Kokushibo had already been looking for you, but he never interrupted any of your conversations when you had them. However, hearing Yoriichis' name from you alone set him off to act out.
He came from around the coner and stood behind you. "Do I think yoriichi could beat Kokushibo? Well maybe-" you said but then saw both of gyokko's mouths open as he looked behind you. Your brow raised in question, and you turned around to see what shook him so much, but now you realized. "Kokushibou hi" you smiled nervously at him.
"It was good talking to you, bye!!!" Gyokko hides inside his pot, probably in another one by now, so it was just kokushibo and you. "Listen, I was just- oh!" Kokushibou picked you up, and then you heard Nakime's biwa sound, transporting you back to his home. You knew you fucked up. You and gyokko tried to talk in secret, but now kokushibo was going to punish you, a demon for speaking about yoriichi but in his own way.
Kokushibo put you down, turning your body away from him to face the wall with your body pushed up against it. You grunted from the sudden pressure but gasped once your hair was pulled back to face kokushibo. The view was upside down, but you could see just how angry he was. "You know to refrain from using that name. Have you lost your mind?" Kokushibou said, his deep voice almost turning into a growl.
His hand had a fist full of your hair, and not only that, his lower half was just inches away from pressing up against you. "I know- I was just telling memories from my human life I didn't think it was a big deal-" "and you actually believe a person like him could defeat me. Do you really think that? Dose his name interest you so much that you've forgotten just who's wife you belong to?" Kokushibou said.
You had a confused look on your face. Is he seriously jealous at the mention of his brother's name from his lover? You knew kokushibo was jealous, but you didn't expect him to be this possessive. "I'm sorry~" This is all you could mutter out. "Do not. Ever say that name. Again." Kokushibou crouches down to your ear, speaking slow for his words to be understood.
You mewl softly, biting your lip as you nod quickly, understand his words. "My name should be the only name said from those lips." Kokushibou now brought his other hand up to your chin and holding it while his other hand is still gripping your hair. Your back arches just a bit more once you felt Kokushibou press himself up against your ass.
He let out a heavy breath with a deep moan mixed in. "Having your jaw broken for speaking his name is the normal punishment from lord Muzan, since you're a demon and it'd grow back." Kokushibou grinds himself against, letting go of your hair and placing his hand on your tit.
"However, I have my own punishment. Just for you." Kokushibo's breaths become heavy, feeling himself get into heat, and he whispered in your ear.
"A punishment where you'll never remember to say his name and only mine. You belong to me, my pretty demon~"
Douma
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His "church" wasn't a church at all. You made the dumbest mistake to have even joined this religious cult. Your "savor", the one who saved you that day from eating eaten like an animal from a group of demons and showing you such kindness was just a cover-up for his true identity, which was a man-eating demon and not just any demon, the 2nd highest rank in 12 strong demons led by an even more powerful demon. The realization sunk in, and you made an ever worse choice than the first one.
You wanted to escape. You wanted out. You thought you planned your escape for a week, asking around what Douma's schedule was like so you knew the perfect days on when to leave, but that back fired on you. When you noticed nobody outside the temple, keeping guard and, of course, no sight of douma, you made a run for it.
You felt relieved. No one was there to stop you until a dark figure appeared from the shadows and snatched you up like you weighed nothing. "I caught you! You sure ran fast. Are you sure you weren't a demon slayer before you came to my temple?" Douma said, smiling from ear to ear.
You tried to catch your breath from running up, but your breath quickly turned into a panic. Douma frowned for a moment, "Oh you poor thing. Don't be scared. We'll get you back to the temple so you can rest for the night," Douma said. With such fake empathy in his tone, it almost sounded sarcastic.
Douma continues to hold your body off the ground in a bear like hug. His muscles flexed to hold you firmly so you couldn't escape. However, looking at Douma more closely, you noticed changes about him. His teeth looked more like fangs. His body against yours felt so cold, almost like he was dead and worst of all. He had "upper 2" written in his eyes. Was this a demon's technique? How was he able to hide these features on him so well around his cult members.
"I don't want to go back!" Your voice trembled. You tried to speak soft, but the panic got to you. Douma only just smiled, speaking in his cheerful voice. "If you're worried about being eaten alive, don't worry, you aren't my type of woman to eat, but you are my type of woman to be around. So I will be keeping you since you asked for my help to save you from those demons that day, so it only makes sense for us to stay together." Douma chuckled.
"What??" You sighed, looking at Douma with worry, fear, and confusion. "I don't belong to you, so let me go!" You hit Douma, but you knew your strengths was no where near compared to his. Douma places his hand on the back of your head, making your rest your chin on his shoulder while he embraces you more and nuzzling his face to your neck, taking in your scent.
"You still don't get it y/n? You're mine. I'm going to keep you until your time as a human is up." Douma said, throwing you over his shoulder and began to walk back to the temple.
"You belong to me and me alone~"
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Muzan
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2 years had passed since you were kidnapping, and you were finally back and safe with your family. Although your kidnapper, known as the most powerful demon, kidnapped you was bad, he could've been a lot worse. So you like to think of it that way. He could dispose of you at any moment, even when you couldn't help him find the blue spider lily, but he didn't.
You're family for owning a flower company, educated on flowers even so that's the main reason why Muzan took you but he let you go when you were of no use to him anymore. The bond you had with Muzan wasn't always about his work. There was soft intimate moments between you two but you knew not to get your hopes up since in the end, your knowledge wasn't all that useful and he let you leave, putting his work before you.
Your life continued to move forward, and eventually, you had an arranged marriage. A soon to be husband for you. He wasn't bad. He did promise to treat you right, give you his money and etc but deep down, you knew you couldn't love this man but went along with it for the benefits and your familes sake.
The wedding took place during the night. Your in-laws thought it would be a great idea to see how lovely your wedding dress would look in the moonlight. You asked to be alone in the fitting room, and you turned off the lights. Despite being human, you've gown accustomed to the dark and toy opened the window, feeling the night's breeze. Your hands slide down your sides to your hips, and you smile at yourself in the mirror, seeing just how gorgeous you look.
"You look stunning, my dear. They were right. The way the moonlight shines on that beautiful dress is just Devine," a deep familiar voice said. You gasped and turned your head to the window and saw Muzan, sitting in the edge and watching his glowing red eyes trace every inch of your body and even smirking at how the dress hugs your hips and holds up your tits perfect.
"Why are you... h-how did you find me?" You stepped back. Muzan came into your fitting room further and made his way towards you. Your body froze, but your eyes softened once you felt his hand on your cheek. His hand was so cold. "Do you think I'd let just anyone actually go?" Muzan bluntly said. That line alone confirmed your thoughts from a year ago. You weren't actually free, and like you predicted, Muzan would come back to you. However, it wouldn't be for the reason you think.
"I don't have any more knowledge on the spider lily. Even after you let me go, I couldn't find it." You explained to Muzan, but he only grinned. "I have upper ranks to do the job much better and faster than you," He said. His words cut a bit deep since you used as much energy as you could've helped him before. "But you can be useful to me in... other ways," Muzan said as his eyes gestured to your body and then looked back at your face.
It's like the old feelings came rushing back. In your own sick way, you missed this man. Muzan is the worst, curel and dangerous man-eating demon you could've ever met. Yet you knew leaving with him was a choice you had to make now. Your mind snaps out of it once you head a knock at the door. You and Muzan look at the door and hear a woman's voice on the other side.
"Um, y/n? Are you almost done?" One of your maid of honors asked through the door. "Yes, im-" you paused. Your eyes look down to see Muzan's hand slide on your hip and even slide his hand down lower, just like how he used to, but you stopped him. "I'll be right out. Just give me a minute," you say in a worry, and then look at Muzan, his lips inches away from yours, and you spoke quietly.
"You can come by tomorrow night, and we'll talk about this. You came at such an odd time. " You rolled your eyes halfway, trying not to let all these emotions cloud you. You turned around, but the second you did, Muzan had grabbed the back of your neck, making you gasp as he pulled you back to face him. "Mm.." Muzan brought you into a heated kiss, making you stumble back and sit in the mini table in your changing room.
"Y/n!?" Your maid of honor placed her ear on the door after hearing a thund sound. "If you think for a moment I'd let you have some random mam in bed with you, then you're more stupid than I thought," Muzan said as his jaw tensed. You pant as you feel his fingers press into your neck and you placed your hands on his chest for some kind of support.
"You belong to me, and I'm taking you back. The connection we share won't ever disappear, so don't think for a second it will," Muzan said, pulling you into another kiss. This time, you kissed him back. His words may not have been the sweetest, but you understood them. He wanted you, and you wanted him. He pulled away once he heard hard banging on the door.
"Let's go," you said, lifting up your dress, not hesitating for a moment about leaving. Muzan had picked you up, and you heard a biwa sound, transporting you to Muzan's room in an instant. Muzan, put you down. His hands made their way to your body, with one hand on your ass and the other playing with the zipper on your wedding dress.
He smirked at you, letting out a dark chuckle. "Now. Won't you let me give you that wedding night you deserve to have"
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bippiti · 1 year
Text
syulang -
pairing jake sully x human scientist reader (afab)
wc 1k
warnings p in v, size kink mentions, stomach bulge, s3x pollen
based off a req from @oyasumimosura <3
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after the war, you were one of the scientists allowed to stay back and continue studying pandora. you had gotten your own lab that was deeper in the forest so you could continue studying what you loved most, plants. as a botanist and biologist the world of pandora amazed you, even after a few years you would never cease to be starstruck at what you saw.
jake would occasionally stop by to visit. his insights as he became more knowledgeable on the forest were invaluable, but you also just liked seeing him. as he dropped by more, you could feel yourself falling for him more and more. it was futile though, you knew he would choose a na’vi woman eventually, especially as he became more settled in as the new olo’eyktan.
during one of his routine visits, you both climbed on top of your lab to watch the stars. he pointed various constellations out and rambled on about their symbolism. a few hours later, you were coming back down into your lab. while the lab could fit na’vi people in, the boxed space did make them prone to small accidents. you shouldn’t have been surprised when jake knocked off a jar as he was walking to the door. you laughed as you bent down to grab the jar and froze. of course. of course the one jar that would actually have consequences was the one knocked down.
“jake you should- you should leave, i don’t know how long it takes for this plants effects to fully wear off” you pressed your eyes shut, hoping he could leave before you embarrassed yourself
as you heard the door close you breathed a sigh of relief and opened your eyes only to see jake towering over you. he knelt down and raised a hand to cup your cheek, it almost covered half your skull. he brought you closer and brought his head to the crook of your neck. you could feel him inhale your scent and your eyes almost rolled back, you don’t know how long you could take it. it was too much. he was too much.
he pulled back and stared at you again, his face came closer before his lips brushed yours
“do you want me as much as i want you?” he whispered
you didn’t give him a verbal response, opting to instead grab his face and kiss him. you couldn’t help it, his voice, his face, his hands, it was all intoxicating. he kissed you back, quickly gaining dominance as he swiped his tongue on your bottom lip. when you whimpered he slipped his tongue in, you moaned as you felt him in your mouth, you couldn’t wait anymore. you both broke apart, panting. he grabbed at your shirt, you started unbuttoning it but he got impatient and ripped it. he tore off your bra and sighed as he laid you on the floor and started leaving kisses down your neck, making sure to leave marks, as he went down your chest and stomach he left a slew of purple and pink blotches. you were his and he was going to make sure everyone knew. eventually he got down to your stomach and you lifted your hips to help him take off your pants. he stepped out of his and youre eyes widened. he was big. too big. how was it going to fit? you’d come this far and now you wouldn’t even be able to go through with it. you were going to loose your mind.
his hands on your jaw broke you out of your minor panic, bringing you up so you could stare into his eyes.
“i’ve got you, don’t worry”
that was all you needed to relax again, you nodded and laid back as he started kissing your neck again. while doing that he began to tease your folds, sliding up and down before eventually pushing one in. you threw your head out and repressed a moan. he added another and started gently scissoring you open, once he felt your walls start to clamp down and your breathing become erratic, he pulled his fingers out. he brought them up to your mouth
“taste”
you did what you were told, barely getting half of his finger in as you began to taste yourself. once he was satisfied, he took them out and pulled you on top of him. he aligned himself with your entrance and began pulling you down slowly. you felt a burning sensation as you began to descend, once you bottomed out the pain started fading into pleasure. you looked up at him, and saw he was glancing down. following his gaze you looked down to your stomach. his length was kissing your cervix, and bulging out. you could see the impression on your stomach. you grabbed his arm and looked at him, he started to move.
as he started pushing in and out you started seeing stars. he pulled all the way out only to slam back in. you’d never felt this full, he picked up the pace and put a hand on your waist, it wrapped all the way around. you couldn’t focus on anything besides the feeling of him inside your walls, you pushed your head into his neck, hoping to stifle your moans.
he caught on to what you were doing, and changed positions to where you were on the floor, hips never stilling. he came down to your ear, you felt his warm breath as he whispered
“don’t hold out on me, i wanna hear how good i make you feel” you arched your back, and started letting go. he started to move even faster, each thrust hitting your cervix, you felt your toes curl and let go. the pulsing of your walls caused him to finish not long after, and he pumped you full before pulling out.
you both caught your breath on the cool floor. as you turned over you began to laugh
“that’s some syulang”
-
(syulang = flower)
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lovekt · 6 months
Text
sleepy nights in november
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pairing; lando norris x girlfriend!fem!reader
word count; 1.5k
synopsis; where practice goes on for a little longer than expected, and you’re extremely jetlagged. (based off of the las vegas gp fp2)
author’s note; this is my first completed fic ahhh! cant believe i actually finished something for once in my life this is a miracle
the library
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LAS VEGAS WAS A BRIGHT CITY. So bright, and yet you were still battling with all-consuming darkness.
You’d arrived more than twelve hours ago. Cameras flashed, questions asked, your mind had been buzzing with excitement for the ever-anticipated Grand Prix at the new track. Hundreds of people; reporters, fans, drivers, bustled about. Drones and tripods followed your every move, microphones bursting your personal bubble, screaming people begging for their caps, shirts and babies to be signed. It crossed your mind more than once that you weren’t a driver, yet the cheers of sheer joy echoed when you walked by.
It was exhilarating, truly. You’d never imagined your life would turn out this way, your face being plastered onto live television, a banner across the bottom presenting you as Lando Norris’ girlfriend.
You’d arrived just in time for Free Practice 2, not getting a chance to find the man in orange before he was off and onto the track for the second time two hours later than scheduled. However, you were soon supplied with a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and a chair to get comfortable with.
It was colder than usual. Your eyes were permanently fixated on the screen above you. No matter how many times you’d watched your boyfriend race, in person or in the comfort of your shared home, it was never any less terrifying. The noises of pure acceleration, the sparks that would occasionally burst from the back of the car, the knowledge of what could happen and what’s already happened several times before. All of it was enough to keep you on your toes, wide awake, and alert every time.
Every single time, except this one.
The low hum of the engine through your headphones did nothing to help you stay focused, time finally beginning to creep its way back up to you. Your boyfriend’s voice calmly updating his engineers, the muffled chatter of the garage, all of it caused your mind to numb and breathing to begin evening out. It was so late. So, so late, and cold.
Your head suddenly lulled to the side causing your eyes to snap open, saving yourself before you slipped off the plastic foldable chair. God, you hoped the live broadcasting cameras were not allowing thousands of eyes to see you right now.
There were some eyes, though, that had seen you. The engineers dressed in orange pottering around were chuckling, they themselves trying to stay awake by toying with tools and fidgeting with other mechanical things that you didn’t understand. Most of them you were quite friendly with by now as you were a frequent member of the McLaren garage, and they all knew you were the one to go to whenever Lando needed a break. They were grateful to have you. An angry Lando is never a fun time.
Which is exactly why they decided to make an executive decision to save you from the concrete floor below. It was only a matter of time before you ended up hurting yourself.
The screen above you began blurring once more, eyes drooping against your will when a hand placed itself onto your shoulder. One of the engineers that Lando was particularly close with was smiling down at you, softly nudging you forward and guiding you to stand up. You looked at him, eyes glossy and brows furrowed, confused.
He sighed amusedly, “I think it’s time for bed.”
Slight slurred protests began to slip out of your lips but were stopped when you wobbled and had to grip onto the top of the chair for balance. The engineer’s hold on your arm tightened and your exhaustion was too heavy to resist as he began leading you towards the driver’s rooms.
You glanced back at the screen showing your boyfriend’s perspective of the car, not wanting to leave but knowing that it’s probably for the best. There wasn’t any action going on, every driver was tired, nobody was pulling any dangerous moves. It was safe enough to walk away, just for a little bit, just this once.
The door to Lando’s driver’s room was opened and you settled onto the small sofa in the corner, wrapping yourself in a papaya-coloured blanket. Darkness enveloped the room as the engineer flipped the switch, shutting the door quietly behind him and leaving you to your thoughts for all of two seconds before a soft voice filled your ears. You’d forgotten to take the headphones off.
Lando spoke to his team, his voice calm and soothing, almost as if he knew you were falling into the depths of unconsciousness in that moment. He was safe. You felt safe.
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The second he’d hauled himself out of the car, helmet removed, and interviews finished up, he was on the search for you. Often, you would wander off as soon as the car had been parked, for a bathroom break or to have a quick snack, refusing to do it during the race.
He walked back to his room as fast as possible, weaving between hundreds of people who he didn’t bother giving the time of day. Usually, he would’ve stopped and had a little chat, but it was so, so late and his whole body felt like it was about to crumble. All he wanted was to find you, get changed and make the small trek back to your shared hotel room.
The door was unlocked when he arrived, a sure sign that you were inside and waiting. But when he opened the door ready to be greeted with a sweet kiss, all he was met with was complete darkness. Weird.
His hand reached for the switch and light flooded the room. Sure enough, there you were, cuddled up in his bright orange blanket and sound asleep. Your face was half covered and smushed into the arm rest, knees curled into yourself and a set of headphones askew on top of your mussed hair.
The smile that had etched itself onto his face grew when he noticed the headphones. You’d fallen asleep whilst listening to him talk, even when he wasn’t with you. Even when you were jetlagged, cold, and exhausted, you still made sure he was okay. His chest warmed at the thought.
Lando placed the bottle of water he was holding down onto the table beside him, trying his best to be as quiet as possible as he changed from his suit to a hoodie. You didn’t move a muscle, only light breaths filling the silent space.
You looked so peaceful, lashes fluttering every so often. The urge to try and squeeze himself onto the sofa with you was strong, but the more logical side of him told him that it was finally time to head back to the hotel, and if you stayed in that position much longer then your neck would be unbearably stiff by tomorrow morning. He loved you more than anything in the world, so he knew you well enough to know that you would be moaning to him about it once you’d woken up, and not the moaning that he enjoyed hearing.
 Carefully, he brushed the tips of his fingers across your cheek, moving a few stray strands of hair. Your cheeks were warm, a contrast to Lando’s cool touch that caused you to pull your face away and tuck it further into the safety of his blanket. His lips twitched slightly. You would hate him for this now, but thank him later, he thought, as he swiftly curled his fingers around the edge of the blanket and pulled it down.
Your skin, exposed to the night air, broke out into goosebumps as you wrapped your arms tighter around yourself. Lando slowly rubbed his palm up and down your arm, bringing his lips to your forehead and kissing you softly.
Your eyelids fluttered open, pupils narrowing to the bright light of the room as an almost silent groan escaped you.
Your eyes darted around for a moment before landing on your boyfriend, crouched down beside you with his hand stroking your hair. He was smiling at you lovingly, eyes squinted and laced with a tinge of mischief. “G’morning, baby.”
You didn’t reply, instead choosing to open your mouth in a yawn directed straight at his face. He chuckled quietly.
“I think it’s time we get you to bed, hm?”
You rested your head back against the armrest, closing your eyes once more, “I’m already in bed.”
“I’m sure you are.” He said, before rising back up to his full height and slipping one hand underneath your neck, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, and the other around the back of your knees. Your hand instinctively curled around his bicep as you were lifted into the air, taking note in the back of your mind at how effortlessly he seemed to manoeuvre you.
As Lando began to carefully place you onto your feet, a wave of adoration filled you to the core. He’d just been working for hours straight, and yet here he was taking care of you. The love you had for this boy was absolutely unmatched.
And what better way to show him this than by using the little energy you had restored during your nap to rise onto your tiptoes and press a sweet kiss against his awaiting lips.
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jensettermandu · 1 month
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tongue tied - kim chaewon , huh yunjin
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genre; fluff (a lot of it), angst, high school au, sfw
pairing; chaewon x female reader x yunjin
content; a lot of pining, mentions of injuries, soccer and cheer-leading but there's no need for any knowledge of the sports, mentions of insecurities and anxiety, idk there's nothing more to warn about; it's sfw
synopsis; it's the last year of high school, the girls' soccer team is on a roll and the cheer team wins yet another elite competition. it seems as if things cannot get any better for the girls, however, love is never easy, especially when the captain of the soccer team, huh yunjin, is in love with her best friend who she is too afraid to lose to make a move on. that is until her new team/schoolmate, kim chaewon, shows interest in the cheerleader and sometimes all that's needed is a final push to take a leap of faith before it’s too late.
wc; 25.9k+ words (the plan was to make it much shorter...sorry)
songs; bad habit - steve lacy , ditto - newjeans , things i'll never say - avril lavigne , to love - suki waterhouse , what would i do? - strawberry guy
masterlist
“And lastly…” The girl trailed off as they took the last few steps between the high bleachers, the sun momentarily blinding them as the big field that was filled came into view. The voices echoed through the space with shouts, cheers and whistles being blown. “This is the field where we hold pep rallies, events, games, practice et cetera.” She explained, gesturing towards the green grass that didn’t look real from the strong colour it carried, shining as it looked watered. 
Chaewon’s eyes scanned the bleachers behind her where a couple of students were sitting, looking around and over the green field. Jimin–the girl who showed her around school this morning–pointed towards the girls who were in white shorts and light blue jerseys. 
“There is the girls' soccer team, we have a boys' team too. Both play in the state championship this year to try and get into nationals again,” she continued to explain. “We have basketball, swimming, water polo, table tennis, track–” Her gaze shifted where Jimin pointed towards the other side of the field. 
“And a cheerleading team as you can see, however, they are a level seven team that competes on an elite level.” Chaewon felt herself flinch at the three girls who were flung into the air, making her squint her eyes to see better as the sun was blinding her. She had seen cheerleading before at her previous school, but not as advanced as this team looked. 
“What was that?” She asked as the three girls fell back down, being caught by the guys who were their bases. 
“Uhm, kick-kick double basket,” Jimin replied seemingly having the stuff memorised. 
“And who’s that?” Chaewon continued to ask, subtly pointing with her head towards the girl in the middle with a single base under her this time, doing a heel stretch. 
“That’s Y/n, the captain, a talented flyer and tumbler, just generally good at cheerleading.”
“Oh wow.” Jimin hummed at Chaewon who continued to watch the cheerleading team, fully enthralled by what was going on. 
After a good minute of the two girls looking at the team doing baskets and other stunts, Jimin spoke up, realising that she still had to help the new girl out a little bit more before getting to watch her friends’ morning practice. 
“So, are you interested in any of the teams? Have you done anything? Swimming? Table tennis? Track?” She questioned.
Chaewon took one last glance at the girls and guys from the cheer team before she walked with Jimin. Her eyes fell on the soccer team that was in the middle of a practice game against each other. 
“I was part of the soccer team.” The shorter girl mentioned as they walked along the empty track field, hands in the pockets of her jeans to occupy them with something. Her eyes followed the ball that was passed around, the callouts of the girls being incoherent to her ears from far away. 
“Any good?” 
Chaewon hummed, nodding her head as she looked away from the field and at Jimin. She took pride in her soccer skills as she had played for as long as she had walked. “Captain and starting striker.” It was enough to shine through her little shell whenever soccer was mentioned and she could go on for days talking about it and how much she loves playing. 
“Well, I’m not sure if you will make it into the starting lineup now that the season has started, but I can talk to Yunjin.” 
It was unfortunate that her family had to suddenly move to another city a month into her senior year. It was unexpected, but Chaewon couldn’t argue about it and so her fate brought her here. She had to settle in and try to fit in too which usually wasn’t a problem, however, this was the last year of high school and people were bound to already have their close friends. 
“Yunjin?” Her head tilted at the name and Jimin nodded her head as she proceeded to explain. 
“The captain and current starting striker. She will talk to you and the coach.”
“Oh.” She gave a curt nod, knowing already that to have the spot she used to have on her old team she would have to work for it in the new environment. Chaewon was sure of her skills in the end even if the season had already started, she couldn’t stay benched for all of it. 
“That’s her,” Jimin said as the whistle blew, pointing towards the girl who ran across the field and away from the rest of the team. 
“Ew, ew, ew, ew.” 
“Ew?” Yunjin confusedly questioned, her eyebrows furrowing, but her grip on the petite girl stayed as she had her arms wrapped around her from behind. 
“You’re all sweaty, Jen.” Y/n cried out, trying to squirm out of the girl's hold. 
Yunjin huffed and let go of Y/n, the shorter girl turned on her heels and gave her a small shove against her chest to have her step back. The ginger grumbled and pulled up the hem of her jersey to wipe away any remaining sweat on her face after practice. The second the whistle blew and she was dismissed she grabbed her stuff and ran over to the cheer team. 
“Stop flexing your tummy for everyone.” Yunjin groaned as her stomach was smacked and she let go of her shirt. Her eyes back on the cheerleader who cringed as the captain's stomach was just as sweaty. The ginger clicked her tongue and grabbed Y/n’s hand to wipe it with her shirt. 
“God, you’re so dramatic.” She commented, her eyes stuck on Y/n’s face as the girl smiled at her, it was enough to make the corners of Yunjin’s lips lift too. It was as if she was struck by something from nowhere, everything inside her stomach started to shift and she felt giddy. It was her source of energy because it would always surge through her whenever she looked at Y/n; she considered the girl her lucky charm. 
Her eyes crinkled at how good it felt; her best friend was the best feeling in the world. 
“Don’t you just love it when I am?” Y/n questioned with an eloquent grin as she knew the answer.
Yunjin could feel her face heat up with her own words as Y/n picked up her gym bag after pulling away from the taller girl. “I tend to love everything about your annoying self.” She commented, her heart picking up like it always did when she said these things to Y/n. It made her nervous and Y/n’s replies only made her more flustered and she found herself digging through all the signs to understand if it was what she hoped it was. 
“You’re my favourite person,” hearing that from Y/n always brightened not only her day but her soul which could at times fall into a gloom of insecurities. 
Yunjin was the captain of the soccer team and had been for the past three years which resulted in a lot of faith being put on her, trusting her sportsmanship and leadership, especially during soccer season. The team, the school, the coach, her friends and family, and people on the bleachers all counted on the team and it was her job to make sure they worked as a team. Any errors always gnawed at her and made her doubt her skill as a captain.
She knew that she wasn’t the only one who was under a lot of pressure, the girl who clung to her arm as they waited for the rest of their friends was under just as much pressure. All her friends were, but she could only find solace in one person and one person only: Y/n. Yunjin could open up about anything to her, tell her everything–almost everything–because she knew that Y/n would be there for her as she had been there since middle school, sixth grade. 
Along the way that trust and adoration seemed to evolve into more, but how couldn’t it? Y/n was everything Yunjin dreamed of and she had never dreamed of more than soccer. It wasn’t like she had a picture of a dream partner or life before, but after she met Y/n and with years that went by and when high school started, she understood what it meant for a dream to get built around a person. Her dream was soccer and she built it around Y/n as each choice she made involved thoughts of her best friend.
When high school started she realised what it meant to build her dreams around a person. It meant to be in love.
“Who’s that with Jimin?” Y/n diverted the conversation she was having with Yunjin, placing her chin on the taller girl’s shoulder as she stood on her toes, arms wrapped around the ginger’s waist. It felt warm, but not the kind of warm Yunjin felt from the sun and running around on the field; it was the type that brewed on the inside like a fireplace that warmed up a home.
She hummed and her eyes searched the field until they landed on Jimin walking along the running track with a girl she hadn’t seen before. “I don’t know…” She trailed off, her eyes squinted the slightest to try to see if she maybe did recognise the girl, but she didn’t. Yunjin squirmed at the ticklish feeling when Y/n blew air against her ear, the girl giggling as she let go of the ginger who turned. 
Before she could utter a single word, Y/n grabbed her hand and tugged it so she would walk with her. “Zuha–” She called for the cheerleader who was packing up the last of her stuff before turning to the two. Y/n received a hum from her friend as Yunjin let herself be dragged after her. “Did you hear anything about the girl Jimin is with?” The shorter girl questioned, gesturing with her head towards the girl in question.
“Nope, I don’t remember her mentioning anything.” Kazuha, one of the tumblers on the team, replied as she walked over to the two. All three turned back around and looked at the two. 
“That’s the new girl.” Their attention was torn away from the two as they looked at the guy who was one of the bases, Yeonjun. 
“There’s someone new starting?” Yunjin questioned, confused by the guy’s words. She frowned, her thumb smoothing over Y/n’s knuckles as she tried to figure out why someone would change schools in their senior year. Not to mention, school started a month ago. 
“Well, she’s not here to just look at the school.” Yunjin rolled her eyes at the guy’s mordant remark as it was obvious. 
“We’re going to be late for bio,” Yujin exhaled after she ran across the field with her soccer gear to them.
Yunjin looked at the time on her phone as she leaned against the wall outside the locker rooms after getting changed. “You’re not coming?” Yujin questioned as she walked out of the girls’ soccer team's locker, fixing the bag on her shoulder.
“I will be there–” She was cut off as the girl waved her off, passing by her.
“Yeah, you want to walk with Y/n, don’t be too late.” She dismissed and Yunjin rolled her eyes at the second striker who walked away. 
The girl wasn’t one to break her routines, not the ones with Y/n at least. All classes started in around eight minutes and Y/n’s physics class was right on the way to bio. Yunjin picked at her nails as she waited for the girl, thinking of her day as she tried to plan what she would do after school. It all consisted of soccer and Y/n as she either would practise by staying behind at school or would leave with Y/n to spend time.
She sighed as she hated the way time always went by so slowly without the cheerleader, but Yunjin couldn’t help but also hate how fast it went by with Y/n there. It was almost as if it wasn’t enough, 24 hours of the day weren’t enough for her with the girl and she had a feeling it would never be. 
The thoughts of the girl raced in her head, making her heart race too as they always ended with her trying to think of ways to let Y/n know. How it would be if she spilled what more laid behind her as she loved Y/n more than a best friend. How it would be once Y/n would hear these words that ran deeper than adoration and how good it would feel when she would hear those same things leave Y/n’s lips. It made her smile as she continued to pick at her fingers and she tried to contain it to not look stupid, but she was a fool for her best friend and Yunjin didn’t mind it one bit.
However, her stomach would always turn inside out at the thought of the opposite happening if she told Y/n the truth about what coursed through her veins when she was with her. The thoughts of rejection, loss, longing, and dreams being shattered. Yunjin couldn’t afford the loss of someone alive because it would be too painful, and Y/n would be too painful to lose. 
Then came the thoughts of rejection, but not losing her best friend either way because she knew Y/n better than that. The girl wouldn’t leave her simply because Yunjin was in love with her, but there was a possibility that she wouldn’t return the feelings. Those thoughts seemed to tie the biggest knots around her heart; the thoughts of Y/n not feeling the same, to begin with even if she wouldn’t put distance between them after.
Yunjin was stuck on the belief that Y/n was in love with her whether that was true or not, it didn’t matter. It was what made her heart content; thinking about silently being in love with each other and not taking the step–the silent agreement of loving and not finding anyone else even if they didn’t take the step to be more than silent lovers. 
Of course, Yunjin dreamed of more, but she could settle on skinny love as long as it was Y/n.
Those giggles, smiles, eyes, Y/n’s voice, words, lips, the girl’s heart and soul; it was all more than enough for her in a silent agreement of loving each other but never confessing it out loud.
She was too scared to say those words out loud because, at the back of her head, she knew that there was a possibility that maybe she was wrong about it all. The thought alone was enough to keep her words at bay to not have to face the possible reality of being the only one.
“You’re looking all cute again.” Yunjin looked up, scrunching up her nose to rid herself of the smile that had stitched itself on her face while she waited. Y/n smiled and grabbed the girl by the hem of her hoodie, tugging at it and making the taller girl walk with her. 
“I like your jacket,” the ginger complimented as she had on the school varsity jacket that held Yunjin’s name and number, being oversized on Y/n’s petite body.
“It’s from my favourite closet.” The smile came right back onto Yunjin’s lips as she looked over Y/n who was in her jacket. The cheerleader walked closer to Yunjin and grabbed hold of her arm, wrapping it around her shoulders as they walked through the hallway to head for their lockers and then to class.
“Do you have any plans after school?” 
“You didn’t ask me to hang out yet so no.” Yunjin chuckled at Y/n’s words, giving the girl a light shove as they approached the girl’s class. 
“I will wait by my car after classes end.” She settled.
“Yeah, I will see you at lunch…You’re going to be late.” Y/n showed her lock screen to Yunjin, her eyes first landing on the wallpaper that was her during one of their late-night Facetime calls before seeing that class started in four minutes. 
“I don’t care,” the captain tried to stay nonchalant about it, wishing to spend at least a few more minutes or at least seconds with the girl. She knew that the next time she looked at the clock four minutes would already have passed because it didn’t wait around when they were with each other. Yunjin needed some more time to prepare for the next two classes without Y/n who would feel like they dragged on for ages even if she had their other friends to keep company.
“You do,” she watched as Y/n turned on her heels as they stood outside the open door to the classroom. The girl pressed it as Yunjin tried to keep her attendance in check because bad attendance and grades meant no soccer. 
“I really don’t.”
“I can bet that the second I walk inside I will hear you run.” Y/n teased and Yunjin looked away at that, licking her lips.
“No, I won’t, but you should head inside since class starts soon.” 
“Or I should head inside so you can hurry and not be late?” The ginger looked back at Y/n who was looking up at her with a wide smile, tongue poking at her canine before she bit her lower lip. It made Yunjin take in a breath as she felt her heart tumble down onto the floor for Y/n again as she couldn’t help but fall every time; waiting for Y/n to pick it up and carry it the way she would carry the girl’s. 
Oh, how proudly she would carry Y/n’s heart if she had it; Yunjin would take care of it as if her life depended on it because it did. Her happiness depended on Y/n’s happiness. 
“No, I don’t care about being late.” 
“Sure, Jen,” Y/n giggled and wrapped her free hand around Yunjin’s waist to hug her before they parted ways. The captain without question returned the hug as her arm draped around Y/n’s shoulders. That sweet flowery scent invaded her and she loved it; the most when the cheerleader left it to linger in her bedroom after they hung out. It brought her the same type of comfort that her home did, Y/n was her home. 
“I will see you at lunch.” The shorter girl hummed and tilted her head to look up at Yunjin while pulling away to leave a kiss on the girl's warm cheek before giving her a small push so she would let go. 
“You’re about to be late for real,” Y/n commented while Yunjin watched the girl walk inside, her eyes widening and bringing her out of the daydream that Y/n was before bolting through the hallway. 
Chaewon had never been one to silently sit alone and away from everyone in a classroom, but she couldn’t help but feel intimidated. She wasn’t one to approach either because of her shy nature. All those friends she had made as a kid were back in her hometown. It felt different now that she was in 12th grade compared to middle school or lower. It didn’t feel as easy to approach someone. 
Slowly she was coming to terms that she would possibly spend her senior year alone at the back of the class. It was her pessimistic and despair-filled side talking as it appeared stronger ever since she was told that they were moving to a new city. 
Her last hope was the soccer team, but even that felt like a far reach as the friendships maybe wouldn’t go outside the field. Everyone already had their friends and she now felt like an outcast for being new so late into high school.
It wasn’t fair and she hated it. 
She picked at her nails, staring down at them while trying to bury the nerves and anxiety of a new place. The sound of new laughter made her look up as the classroom was loud the whole time and the teacher had yet to arrive. Her eyes landed at the entrance of the classroom, she caught a glimpse of that orange hair she had seen on the field earlier as the soccer captain was hugging the cheer captain. 
She found herself staring, eyes glued to the cheerleader who stepped inside the class with a smile. Chaewon shivered, assuming it was from the cold table under her bare forearms as she pursed her lips, fighting the urge to let a small smile form on her lips. Y/n was too pretty and her smile didn’t look like it should be ignored without smiling back, but then again, Chaewon was invincible and would stay invincible until the end of the year.
Y/n wasn’t looking her way, she was talking to a few girls at the front.
It wasn’t like Chaewon knew the girl, but it already made her think about how much she would possibly miss out on if she didn’t get the courage to talk to someone. Maybe not the cheer captain right away, but anyone. It would be sombre to be alone during the whole senior year.
The bell rang and she watched as everyone proceeded to take seats in the chairs that were still empty while the teacher entered. It made her wince at how the chairs screeched along the floors, the chatter turning into hushed whispers as the man at the front put his stuff down. 
“Looks like your seat is at the back today, Y/n, maybe we will go through a class without talking since it’s next to Kim Chaewon, our new student.” His words were followed by small giggles and Y/n who clicked her tongue. 
Chaewon felt herself get breathless at the panic she felt of people suddenly noticing her after being a ghost at the back. She had no clue what to do so she avoided gazes that were on her all while suddenly feeling too warm in her clothes.
She could feel that her face was red. Or maybe it wasn’t? Now she was panicking over whether she looked anxious or not. Her heart rate increased, pounding against her ribcage so harshly it made her feel weak. Was she going to have a panic attack in front of everyone on her first day? It was starting to muffle her ears and her fists clenched as they were clammy now. 
Chaewon’s wide eyes gazed around the classroom as the girl sat down beside you, the scent of sweet flowers managed to cloud her, pulling her away from the anxiety and grounding her. The class went almost completely silent, the hushed whispers even more faint now as the teacher started to talk. She tried to calm herself down before it got worse.
“Where did you transfer from?” Heat ran across Chaewon’s back when the girl beside her spoke up after a few minutes of the lecture, everyone too engulfed to take notice of them at the back. 
She parted her lips, suddenly not remembering where she grew up before she managed to push an answer from her throat with a slight quiver. “Austin, Texas.” Chaewon cleared her throat and swallowed, subtly glancing over at the girl beside her who was looking at the front. It sounded stale and she was afraid that she ruined her only chance to make friends.
“That’s far—” It was, it truly was far as she now lived in Long Island, New York. She looked to the side, her eyes meeting Y/n’s and she held her breath for a second as she hadn’t expected the girl to be looking back at her, not with those intense eyes. Chaewon couldn’t hold eye contact, her gaze faltering onto the table. “I assume that it kind of sucks to move, especially in your last year.” 
“It’s–Yeah, it does suck.” She couldn’t help but admit to how much it sucked. It felt alienating and a big part of her was still pessimistic about this change and another still held some resentment towards her parents even if it wasn’t their fault that her mother got transferred to the new job. 
Y/n hummed at that, the girl unable to stop casting glances at the cheerleader, constantly picking up on her features with each glance cast at her. Her nerves eased, but new ones appeared as she was sitting beside a pretty girl who was talking to her with such ease it felt like they already knew each other. 
There was a flow as Y/n continued to ask questions about her throughout the lesson–Chaewon realised what the teacher meant at the start, but she didn’t mind because suddenly all those doubts about her senior year disappeared.
Before she could take in a word the teacher said the class was over and her most dreaded day was slowly becoming one that wasn’t dragging along, but flying by. 
“Okay, what does your schedule look like?” Y/n asked as everyone was gathering their stuff, the two girls taking their time and staying behind. Chaewon showed her phone to the girl where she had her schedule.
“We have physics, maths and P.E. together, you also have classes with some of my other friends–maths now and lunch after so…” Y/n trailed off and the girl got her phone handed back. Chaewon’s momentary confusion dissipated and she got the memo, grabbing her stuff to walk with the girl. 
“I forgot to ask about her number and now she might as well be lost somewhere at school. I was supposed to introduce you two.” Jimin explained and Yunjin did her best to listen and indulge in the conversation after the new girl was brought up, but she was too busy waiting for Y/n to finally arrive at the canteen. 
“Where’s Y/n?” She asked as the new girl hadn’t managed to pique her interest.
“Are you listening?” Jimin questioned.
“What does the new girl have to do with anything?” The ginger questioned, poking at the food with her fork. She had yet to meet her and she hadn’t listened to what Jimin was saying at all. 
“You’re the soccer captain.”
“Yeah,” she confirmed, looking up at Jimin with a frown.
“It’s like talking to a wall.”
“Tell me about it,” Yujin commented, earning laughter from the other two at the table. 
“You don’t think you could fix her a spot on the team?” This time Yunjin was listening and her frown deepened for a second. 
“The season already started and we’re a full team,” it felt like a risk to take someone new onto the team when they had been playing together for months now, some even years. 
“She said she was captain and starting striker in her previous school.” The girl beside her replied with a shrug.
“I–” The ginger didn’t get to reply as she got distracted by the three girls that were heading their way. There were just certain auras that drew people to them, Y/n and Kazuha were two people with that kind of aura, or maybe it was just Y/n since that was who Yunjin always found herself drawn to.
“Looks like she’s not lost at all,” Yeonjun commented, right beside Y/n was the new girl and Yunjin knew just how easy-going her best friend was. Anyone was able to be comfortable around her, all it took was a few words from Y/n and the person was lost, anticipating what she would say next. Yunjin knew that and she loved that.
Chaewon looked over at the four people at the table, that nervousness clouded her again as she had just been able to slowly crawl out of her shy shell around Y/n and somewhat with Kazuha. The eyes on her made her want to retract right back inside her shell of comfort and security. 
She almost flinched at the hand that brushed over her before it grabbed gently hold of her wrist. The talking between all of them was still being processed as the girl was too busy looking around to avoid making eye contact first. She pursed her lips and held her breath at the nerves as the cheer captain pulled her over to the table. 
“And this is Yunjin…” The cheer captain introduced everyone at the table, quickly making them acquainted. 
For the first few minutes, Chaewon knew that she was mostly sitting in silence, unsure of what to say, however, she was more than thankful for Y/n who included her and worked as a mediator, especially between the two other girls–Yunjin and Yujin–who played soccer. At the back of her mind, Chaewon knew that she was enthralled by Y/n, feeling like she wouldn’t feel as welcomed and at ease if it hadn’t been for the girl. The girl was her only safe space in the huge school at the moment.
She quickly came to the realisation that she had been worrying too much and that maybe her senior year wouldn’t be too bad as she got along with both Yunjin and Yujin. 
“What do you think about Chaewon?” Yunjin hummed at the question, her eyes trained on the screen of her phone that she was playing on. Y/n’s fingers continued to comb through her hair, making occasional small braids as she rested her head in the girl’s lap, lying in Yunjin’s bed.
There wasn’t much to think about, Yunjin was still getting to know the girl, but from today alone she had an answer that was good enough. 
“She’s cool, I don’t know what I was expecting, but yeah, she’s chill.”
“You two seemed to get along with all your soccer talk.”
She glanced up at Y/n through her lashes, rolling her eyes at the teasing smile that rested on the girl’s pretty lips. Yunjin bit her lower lip for a second and looked back at her phone screen to finish up as she continued to talk,
“Whatever, it’s one of the things we have in common so far.”
“No matter how cool you think soccer makes you, you’re such a nerd about it.” 
“Hey!” The ginger complained, turning her phone off and putting it on her nightstand as she sat up, turning to face Y/n who was leaning against the headboard. 
“But in a good way, I love seeing that it makes you happy and keeps you passionate,” she watched the smile grow bigger on Y/n’s lips as the girl grabbed hold of the strings of her hoodie and tugged her closer. 
Soccer did keep Yunjin passionate, but her best friend was yet another thing that kept her passionate; their friendship and Y/n were something she was utterly passionate about. 
“I have the best support system known to man, consisting of my family, friends and most importantly you.” She told the truth and nothing else to her best friend, grabbing Y/n’s hands that were holding onto the strings of her hoodie, cupping them in hers and warming Y/n’s colder hands. 
The cheer captain hummed at that. “Ditto.” 
“So…What do you think about Chaewon? You seemed to get along.” Yunjin questioned, dropping her gaze onto their hands as Y/n was playing with her fingers, intertwining them and pressing their palms together as they sat facing each other. That smile was one the ginger couldn’t even fight, Y/n’s touch was soothing and spread a warmth through her that reminded her of home.
“She’s cute.”
One thing Yunjin hated was that she had grown so attached and used to Y/n and her being this one force of a silent agreement that these unelaborated comments made her stomach drop. The ginger knew that she shouldn’t be so sensitive, but each day she woke up with a fear that maybe the silent agreement was one-sided. 
Each night she went to bed and woke up afraid that things would be different. What if someone took her place? Not as a best friend because she knew that was set in stone, but in this fantasy she hoped was true.
Yunjin pushed through it though as she knew better and knew how wrong it was to feel this way. “Cute?” She curiously asked, waiting for Y/n to elaborate, hoping Y/n didn’t find Chaewon cuter than her. Was ‘cute’ enough for Y/n to drop the silent agreement? The one Yunjin hoped was real.
“With how shy she is.”
She looked up at Y/n and nodded her head in understanding, familiar with Chaewon’s shy nature after today.
“You’re not gonna replace me, are you?”
“Oh my God, Yunjin.” 
“Yunjin!?” The ginger let out in panic as her hands were dropped by Y/n who raised her eyebrows, giving her a once over with a judging look.
“Yes, Huh Yunjin,” Y/n confirmed with a click of her tongue, never calling her Yunjin because she had always been Jen to her. 
“Stop it.” She complained, loving how Jen was the only thing Y/n called her and everyone else would call her Yunjin. It was like Y/n was the only one aware of her other name even if it wasn’t true. Everyone just silently agreed that Jen was reserved for Y/n.
“Why on earth would you ever even say that.” 
“I’m just making sure,” she whined back at Y/n, but she knew that she didn’t have to, it was a joke because she knew that she would never be replaced as the girl’s best friend. That was why it was the least of her worries.
“I’m hurt–like actually hurt that you even have to make sure—” Her lips parted as Y/n was about to get up from the bed, Yunjin earning a huff of disbelief from the girl. “I think I’m gonna cry.”
“Now you’re being dramatic, come here.” 
“No!” Yunjin laughed when Y/n yelped as she wrapped her arms around the girl’s waist after she had stood up from the bed. She pulled her back down, Y/n landing on top of her with her back, trying to wiggle out of Yunjin’s grip who continued to giggle at the poor attempts. 
“I love you and know that you would never replace me in any way possible. You and I are forever like we promised in sixth grade.” She mumbled as Y/n heaved a sigh, the striker felt the girl give up and relax in her hold. Yunjin took the chance to bury her nose in Y/n’s hair as the girl rested her head on her shoulder, staring up at the white ceiling as a moment of silence fell between them.
“Yunjin…” 
“Mm?” Yunjin pulled back and lifted her head only to flinch when Y/n turned around and flicked her forehead. “Ow–”
“Don’t joke like that again, I don’t want to think about it ‘cause it hurts to think about it.”
She pouted at those words as she sat up with Y/n sitting beside her, “I’m sorry.” 
“Don’t be, I know some people can’t help the fact that they are stupid.” Y/n dismissed with a smile as she looked over her shoulder at Yunjin.
“Yeah, you’re walking tomorrow,” 
“Who says I’m staying the night?”
“Me and I still pick you up even when you stay at home, now sleep.” The ginger demanded, pulling Y/n back down and reaching over for the bedside lamp.
“But I–” She shushed the girl, pushing her head back down on the pillow as the lights went out and she pulled the duvet over them.
“Goodnight, Y/n.” The girl beside her heaved a sigh and moved, Yunjin offering her arm as per usual, letting Y/n rest her head on her shoulder and hug her waist, knowing she couldn’t sleep without hugging something or someone. 
“Goodnight, Jen,” Yunjin smiled at the name and hummed, the fear of being replaced when she woke up less present as the girl she loved fell asleep in her arms.  
Chaewon realised that she had been too pessimistic, but the good thing was that she could change her views under the right circumstances where changing her perception would come in handy. Throughout the week she felt less and less dread for school when she went to bed and then woke up after being lucky enough to be found by Y/n on her first day. She felt welcomed and instantly accepted by the group without any tension. 
Tuesday came and she felt her purpose start to sparkle again as she was accepted onto the soccer team even if it wasn’t in the starting lineup that was already set in stone when the season started. 
For a second when practice ended and they had played a practice game where she was put as a striker and on the opposite team as the captain, Huh Yunjin, she thought that the girl would be a rival; a competition to beat and replace on the field. 
The view was also changed quickly; Chaewon saw no need to strive for her old spot as a captain, however, she did find the need to be in the starting lineup and hoped it would come to her soon even if it wouldn’t be as a main striker.
Yunjin became someone she saw as a person who she could get the most out of when they played together as days passed through the week and they played alongside each other. Outside the field, they were becoming good friends and she could say it about the rest too. 
Days passed quicker than she had expected after dreading moving to a new place. 
So before she knew it; it was Saturday and Chaewon found herself at a convention centre for a local yet huge cheerleading tournament. She had never been to one, so naturally, she wanted to stick to the group of people she came with; Yunjin, Jimin and Yujin.
They had arrived an hour before it was the team's turn because the competition lasted a whole eight hours and there were still three hours left after the good four-minute performance that was in 30 minutes. Chaewon knew very little about everything, but the other three girls filled her right in, especially Yunjin who had a hard time being quiet about it. 
“I still need to give Y/n her bow, Chaewon and I can go while you two get to the seats.” Chaewon didn’t get a word in as they were walking through the crowded centre, her arm sleeve was grabbed and she was pulled aside by Yunjin. 
“Could you hold it for a second?” She hummed, taking the bow from Yunjin who started to look for her phone. Chaewon looked over the dark blue and white bow with gemstones, glancing between the captain and the way before her to not walk into anyone. 
“Where are you and Y/n?” 
Yunjin stopped in her tracks as she tried to hear what Kazuha was saying over the noise in the background as Y/n wasn’t answering her phone. 
“I kind of lost Y/n somewhere and she doesn’t have her phone.” 
“What? Where are you then?”
“I just got to the main entrance.” Yunjin groaned and turned on her heels as she started to walk her way back to the main entrance. “How do you lose her?”
“I’m not the one who lost her, Y/n always gets distracted and loses us, plus I can’t see her in this crowd, she’s too short.” Yunjin snorted at that, she knew her best friend like the back of her palm and how she could see something and walk off from everyone else without a word. The 5’3 flyer was good at getting lost. 
“I can see you–your hair.” The ginger's eyes started to search as she was approaching the main entrance. 
Chaewon stopped in her tracks as the captain she had glanced at a good minute ago was no longer beside her. She kind of sensed that it couldn’t be too good; she had the cheer captain's bow. 
Her eyes searched through the crowd of people, but her height did no justice. The next best thing that came to mind was to stand still and hope that they would run into her while she tried to get her phone out of her pocket. 
Just as she fumbled out her phone, her head snapped up, “Chaewon!” A smile unknowingly tugged on her lips as she saw Y/n quickly running over to her. The girl in the cheer uniform made her stomach nervously flutter ever since she first talked to her and that usually was the case with pretty girls. However, that feeling passed after a few hours of talking, but that little flutter was slowly developing into a crush instead of disappearing and Chaewon was fully aware of it. 
She did feel guilty about it though; Yunjin and Y/n were in a relationship or dating, one of those. The girl didn’t know which, but either way she didn’t want to get in the way. Well, she hadn’t asked, but she was quite sure because everyone was close in the friend group, but the two seemed to be more than just friends. From Chaewon’s point of view at least. 
“I lost Zuha, I don’t have my phone and Jen has my bow–” The girl went on talking as she grabbed hold of Chaewon’s hand and pulled her to the side, away from the walking crowd. She bit on her lower lip to get rid of the smile she became painfully aware of. “Where’s Jen?” 
“Uhm–I lost her, but I have the bow.” 
Y/n turned around and Chaewon showed her the bow in her hand, making the distress on Y/n’s face wash away, being replaced by a smile. This time the smile was directed solely towards Chaewon and it made her chest fill up like an air balloon with how much warmth spread through her, all running up to her cheeks. 
“You’re my saviour today–” The girl was about to reach for it but stopped, “could you help me put it on, I don’t have a mirror and will mess it up.” 
Chaewon wanted to argue that the girl could do it once she was back with her team or have Kazuha or Yunjin help her simply because her hands were trembling and she was scared she would mess it up. The last thing she wanted was to get even more awkward even if it was only coming from her side. 
However, she knew that she didn’t have the heart to deny the girl nor did Y/n have the time to wait around as the performance started soon.
The girl hummed with a nod and sucked on her lower lip as Y/n stepped closer to her, tilting her head down. Chaewon was probably an inch and a half taller, managing to reach just fine.
“You know how to do it, right?” The question made her look down at Y/n as she reached for the already-done ponytail. This was probably the closest she had been to the girl and it was making her even more nervous, especially when Y/n looked up at her through her lashes. 
She gave a short hum and nod of affirmation–again–the girl in front of her let out a breathless chuckle. Chaewon did her best to keep her attention on Y/n’s hair as she pulled the ponytail through the tie, making sure the bow stayed in place the whole time.
“How are you feeling about the game on Friday?” 
She glanced away from the hair for a second, seeing that Y/n was looking up at her the whole time, it was making her feel warm. 
“Shouldn’t I ask how you are feeling about the performance you have coming up?” Chaewon asked back.
Her first game on the team was next week despite not being on the starting lineup or getting to play much she was still more and more jittery the closer the game was.
Y/n subtly shook her head. “I don’t like talking about them right before, makes me too nervous…I like to pretend that I’m here to be part of the audience until we are on the stage.”
“Okay–” She acknowledged, licking her lower lip as she concentrated with her eyes back on the ponytail. “I’ve always been comfortable on the field, but I’ve played on the same team for years so I’m kind of scared even if I might not play much.” The girl couldn’t help but admit, trusting Y/n to carry these words with tenderness as she didn’t have anyone to open up to anymore. Chaewon felt alienated no matter how welcomed she had been, she had yet to get close enough to anyone to open up but Y/n made it easy.
There was a pull towards her and her aura; one that made words slip past lips much easier.
“Do you think that’s because you still have to get more comfortable with your teammates or with the fact that you’re playing on your home field even though it doesn’t feel like home?” 
The words made Chaewon stop for a second and look Y/n in the eye again as she hadn’t been able to tell what it was that made her feel scared when the field had always been her home; her comfort. Y/n just made it clear for her; the exact problem was that it had always been a home when she played in her old jersey, with her old team and this had yet to start feeling like a home. 
“I think that’s it, everything feels foreign even though I’ve gotten accustomed to how you guys play, it feels like something is off.” 
Y/n hummed at that.
“I think that once you get on the field during an actual game, adrenaline will make you feel right at home like this is right where you belong…it will happen so quick you will only realise it after.”
She pulled away from the cheerleader, the sweet scent fainter as her senses were being filled by the dull air of the centre again. The words made her think about it, trying to figure out if that would be the case, it sounded too simple. 
“You think so?” Chaewon asked, her hands fiddling with the loose material of her jeans as she watched Y/n who made sure the bow was secure. 
“Yeah, your home is where the ball is no matter who you play for.” 
It suddenly made sense to Chaewon who smiled as Y/n had managed to change her perception of things and it made the tension wash away. If anything, Chaewon was now looking forward to the game to finally be able to find her home again by playing where the ball was. 
“Thank you for that, I needed someone to talk to about it—I like talking to you.” She felt herself blush at her own words, unable to recall when she was so easily flustered by someone, let alone by the words that left her lips. Her hands clutched onto the material of her jeans as Y/n smiled even bigger at her. 
“Well, I don’t mind helping and you have my number if you want to talk.” 
Chaewon didn’t get to get another word in though as her heart started to sling around in her chest and they were joined by the other two. The girl remembered that she maybe should try to avert her eyes away from Y/n when the girl was engulfed in a hug by Yunjin.
“Where were you?” The shorter girl complained and Yunjin pulled away from their brief hug, a frown graced her features for a split second at the bow in Y/n’s hair that she always helped her with. However, she dropped it because she knew that Y/n always relied on Yunjin’s presence before her performances—the ginger was Y/n’s cheerleader—and she didn’t have much time left now. 
It wasn’t talk though, just her presence alone and she had no clue why and neither did the cheerleader have an explanation when she asked aside from it being her Jen.
“I was looking for you–” She wanted to continue but couldn’t let go of the thought that she hadn’t helped Y/n with her bow. It wasn’t the end of the world, but it was part of a habit, it was like a ritual before every competition that they had done since they were kids. “When did you put this on?” Yunjin curiously asked, her fingers doing a minor change to the bow and Y/n looked up through her lashes at her hand.
“Chaewon helped me because we’re short on time–” They truly were short on time when Kazuha linked her arm with Y/n and pulled her away from Yunjin.
“We have to go, Yeonjun texted that the coach needs us all together,” Kazuha informed them as they were already walking away.
Yunjin only waved, knowing that Y/n didn’t like it when someone wished her luck or talked about the performance beforehand. 
“Sorry for losing you like that.” She apologised to the girl beside her as she had only realised that Chaewon wasn’t with her once she reached Kazuha. 
“It’s fine, it wasn’t for too long.” Yunjin chuckled at that with a nod before they made their way to Jimin and Yujin.
Chaewon found herself in an even bigger crowd once they had made it to the other two and not long after she got to see the cheer performance of her life. Of course, the school’s team did great, but even the cheerleaders at her old school didn’t cheer as well as Yunjin did beside her while they watched them perform. 
She was sure she hadn’t seen two more lovesick people when they won and she watched Y/n run right into Yunjin’s arms. Chaewon watched from the sidelines as Y/n clung onto Yunjin who practically carried the girl. She congratulated the other two people she was close to from the cheer team, Yeonjun and Kazuha. 
What caught her attention were Yeonjun’s words. 
“I’ve never seen two more annoying best friends, the love makes me want to throw up.” 
It made her frown and look at them in confusion, but Yeonjun was already talking to someone else and Y/n had walked over to her.
Best friends? Love? It could mean so many things, couldn’t it?
Had Chaewon read too much into their relationship? However, two best friends could be in a relationship, couldn’t they? The longer she observed them the more confused she grew as the signals weren’t mixed, but clear, however; clear with what intentions? Were they together? 
Chaewon was too shy to forwardly ask, especially if she was right and they were a couple. She didn’t need Yunjin to assume that she had a crush on Y/n–she did, but that was her secret–it would be awkward and she didn’t need to lose friends she just made. 
Loud.
Loud was one of the only words that could fill her head as she nervously fiddled with the polyester of her white shorts. She was benched, but that didn’t mean that her nerves weren’t spiked as she watched the team play. The crowd on the bleachers was loud and the only few times her eyes drifted away from the ball was when the cheer team would motivate the team and make the crowd even louder.
One cheerleader still stuck out to her. God, Y/n stuck out like a sore thumb in Chaewon’s eyes after knowing her for two weeks and she was stuck in a dilemma. Was she supposed to forget about her crush or keep crushing in secret even if Y/n wore Yunjin’s varsity jacket with the number 8 and the girl’s last name? It wasn’t like her crush was hurting anyone as long as she kept it to herself, and if it did, the only person it would hurt was Chaewon.
It made her space out once again, her eyes losing the ball and getting stuck on the setting sun in the distance as the crowd's noise disappeared. 
It wasn’t right, she was sure that if Y/n and Yunjin weren’t in a relationship, they at least had to be dating while slowly pursuing something with how close they were.
However, Y/n made her feel so at home in a foreign place that she sometimes doubted her assumptions because of how close she was to the girl. The cheer captain was hard to crack with how affectionate and caring she was.
Y/n was caring, kind, observant to the people around her, intelligent, athletic, pretty, and bright—Chaewon realised that she was starting to list things about Y/n in her head once again and it made her feel guilty once she remembered how Yunjin and Y/n looked at each other.
Ideally, she would want to date the girl and slowly pursue something more than friends while they were still getting to know each other so it wouldn’t be a deal breaker if she confessed as a friend. It seemed perfect since they had just met. Or maybe she could set a standard to find someone like the girl?
It did not matter how many times she tried not to, Chaewon kept spacing out with the same difficult thoughts.
She cursed Y/n for bringing her such comfort yet she was more than thankful. 
Would it be wrong to test the waters because as far as Chaewon knew some people still went out with others during the early stages of dating? Just to show her gratitude.
But Yunjin; Chaewon found a great friend in the captain.
She had yet to get the clear meaning behind the words Yeonjun said a week ago.
Chaewon jumped, flinching at the cold hand that brushed over her arm.
“Oh–I’m sorry?” Her eyes widened as she looked to her side at Y/n who let out a small laugh at the reaction. That momentary coldness she felt disappeared as heat ran over her whole body, certainly leaving her ears redder than they already were.
“It’s fine, I didn’t notice you.” Chaewon breathed out, rubbing her clammy palms against the fabric of her shorts. She looked around to see that the cheerleaders had spread out, seemingly taking a break for a few minutes. Her gaze went back to Y/n and her stomach flipped when she remembered the thoughts that she just had.
She scooted a bit closer to her teammate to make some more space for the cheerleader on the bench. Amidst the fresh scent of the green grass that had been watered, the scent she had grown familiar with danced its way around her as Y/n sat down beside her. Chaewon froze, glancing down as their knees touched and she tried her best to pay attention to what Y/n was saying.
“I noticed you spacing out and thought that it could have been because of what we talked about.” 
Y/n truly was observant and it was admirable, but now Chaewon had to lie because she couldn’t tell the girl that she was daydreaming about her. 
“Oh–well…kind of, there’s just a lot on my mind lately.” 
“Do you want to talk about it or get your mind off of it? Maybe the latter considering the circumstances.” 
She chuckled at the girl's words and nodded her head because the last thing she needed was to get her head occupied with more stuff in case she would be called to sub in.
“What are your plans for the weekend?” 
“I don’t have any yet, well–” Chaewon stopped for a second to contemplate whether or not she should ask if Y/n wanted to hang out. However, did Chaewon want it to be a normal hangout? Not really unless Y/n wasn’t truly single. “Probably practise some on my own.”
Chaewon decided to wait until she knew what exactly Y/n and Yunjin were.
“You’re like Yunjin, you two could probably head together.” 
Chaewon looked down at her cleats as she grabbed hold of the bench, almost jolting at how she brushed her hand over Y/n’s for a second. She seemed to be the only one to notice as the cheerleader was looking over the field. 
“You two are close.” The girl pointed out the obvious and tilted her head to the side to look at Y/n. She watched how the smile grew slightly bigger at the mention and she understood that even if she wanted to she didn’t stand a chance if just the mention of Yunjin made Y/n smile that big.
“We’ve been there for each other for so long, Jen means the world to me—she’s my person and always will be.” 
Yet Chaewon couldn’t help but admire it, wishing to have something similar with someone. Y/n looked at her and giggled, Chaewon catching the small tint of pink that shaded the girl's cheeks, but the same happened with hers as she had been staring at the girl once again. 
She was worried it would become obvious soon enough. 
Yunjin took a deep breath as she had been in her headspace the whole time, fully indulged in the field and game. She could feel the sweat dripping down her forehead, whatever loose hair strands that fell from her ponytail were sticking to her skin. 
The score was still 0 - 0 and she knew that they weren’t aiming for a draw or a simply good game. That was not what the coach wanted, their coach was harsh at times, but it always came with the best results.
Yunjin would always beat herself up though, but it was her dream and dreams meant sacrificing even a piece of herself. 
If they lost or had a draw then they didn’t do their best. 
That was why she could only spare the person she had been dreaming about for the past three years a second long glance as she was waiting for a throw-in from one of their defenders. 
That godforsaken feeling of longing, love and fear still slipped through her strongly made facade that she put up on the field when she saw Y/n laughing with Chaewon. Y/n made all her walls crumble so easily.
It made her exhale deeply to try and wash away that tinge of jealousy she felt. At the back of her head, she knew that this skinny love maybe wouldn’t last or maybe wasn’t even real and that any could sweep away her biggest dream. 
Y/n was becoming closer to Chaewon, not as close as she was with Yunjin, but it gave her zero reassurance. Yunjin couldn’t tell if she was close as in best friends or close as in love with Y/n anymore, she hated thinking about being the only one. Yet she couldn’t find out as she bit her tongue and focused back on the game when the ball got thrown to one of the midfielders. 
Chaewon’s conversation with Y/n was interrupted as the crowd started to cheer louder, the two joining in anticipation as they watched the midfielders create a perfect opportunity for the forwards when the ball got passed to Yujin. The captain was open as she was quicker on her legs than the defender who was tailing her. 
It was a perfect opportunity to finally set a score of 1 - 0 in the last 15 minutes of the game when Yujin lobbed the ball over to Yunjin. 
All that loud cheering turned into furious' ‘boos’’ and shouts of disapproval and dissatisfaction at the late tackle that ended with Yujin on the ground and the whistle being blown amidst the wail of pain.
Chaewon widened her eyes with her heart racing, unsure if it was because of what just happened to Yujin who was aided right away or the coach telling her to quickly warm up to get on the field. 
It wasn’t long until Yujin was being assisted off of the field to get taken to the hospital, giving Chaewon a thumbs up despite the tears in her eyes.
She felt jittery once again, the loud cheers that were erupted by the cheer team going right back to bring up the spirit of everyone. It put so much more on her than she already felt as she got on the field with her heart jumping without a stop against her ribcage like a bouncy ball. 
Yunjin was worried, to say the least, she hadn’t played long with Chaewon but she’d seen the girl's skills and she was good. However, she had no clue how well she worked under pressure, especially in important games. She wasn’t doubting Chaewon, the girl used to be a starting striker and captain just like Yunjin.
The worries of both girls’ disappeared right after the whistle blew and the game was back in play after the free kick. Something sparked within the both of them, seemingly sending the spark to each other as chemistry kindled between the two. 
Yunjin always excelled, going beyond what was the limit and she took notice of the fire in Chaewon who pushed beyond a different limit, one she wasn’t sure she could push. Any other day she would see it as a threat–especially as the captain and with Chaewon’s old position and title–but she couldn’t, not when they were attacking the goal once again, creating a perfect opening with a few minutes left. 
If they missed this opportunity they would have to try and push for a goal during overtime instead of wasting it to keep their winning score.
So the ball got lobbed over to Yunjin who ran into the penalty area the second the ball crossed the line. It wasn’t a hard decision, it never would be because she would never be selfish on the field. She had the opportunity to score a goal; Yunjin half-volleyed it over to Chaewon who had a better opportunity to score.
Y/n had been right all along and Chaewon hadn’t smiled as big as she did now ever since she landed at JFK airport when she scored. Her body was engulfed in the thrashing hugs of her teammates. Maybe she could find a home here after all as the adrenaline made her feel like she was floating in her zone of comfort again. 
The bitter taste in her mouth was no longer present, replaced by the sweet sound of the whistleblowing not long after; winning 1 - 0.
“Huh and Kim.” The two girls didn’t get to join the celebration of their teammates for longer than a few minutes before being called by their coach. 
Their chests were still heaving with exhaustion and the coursing adrenaline in their veins as they glanced at each other in confusion. The people around them celebrated, the people dissipating from the bleachers to congratulate the team and head home, the clock striking 9 P.M.
“Great play from the both of you, especially at the end—I just finished talking to Yujin’s dad and as it’s looking right now she won’t be playing.” The two nodded, feeling relief at the praise, but concerned at their teammate's state who was at the hospital. 
“What happened?” Yunjin asked, her forearm coming up and wiping away the sweat before it would trickle down to her eyes.
“It looks like a sprained ankle so she won’t be able to play for the rest of the season which brings us here—” Yunjin glanced over at Chaewon who was attentively listening to the woman in front of them. “Chaewon will be part of the starting lineup as a second striker for the rest of the season, the decision is made based on skill.” The ginger knew that their spare second striker wasn’t nearly as good as Yujin and that Chaewon was perhaps–definitely–better than Yujin herself.
The coach nodded, dismissing the two as she walked away.
“I hope we can work with a perfect dynamic both on and off the field, Chaewon,” Yunjin said, turning to look at the shorter girl. The new starter parted her lips before closing her mouth, hesitating about what to say which Yunjin had grown used to as Chaewon was still getting comfortable around them. 
She smiled at the girl and stretched out her hand and Chaewon accepted it with a smile. “I will do my best—” They gently squeezed before letting go and Chaewon grew the courage to compliment her captain. “It was a great assist on your part, thank you for the opportunity.” 
“Always, we’re a team and I will always prioritise our whole team over my desire to score goals.” The two laughed at Yunjin’s words as they headed over to the huddle of cheerleaders, teammates, and other students while talking with each other. 
The thoughts of competing with each other disappeared as they worked better together than against each other.  
“You two did so well, that pass and goal were–” The rest of the cheer captain's words were muffled as her face ended up in Yunjin’s jersey who grabbed hold of her best friend when she jumped into her arms. It warmed Yunjin as she smiled, squeezing Y/n in her arms.
“Thank you, pretty girl, but your cheering kept us going,” Yunjin replied and Y/n pulled away with a grin.
“What about us?” Yeonjun questioned and Jimin was right behind him, holding the camera—pictures for the senior yearbook—Kazuha jogging over to the rest.
“I guess you guys did okay.” She said with a shrug, receiving dirty looks from the two cheer members. The warmth from her arms disappeared and her eyes trailed over to Y/n to see the girl grab hold of Chaewon’s hand and pull her over to them.
“Do we leave for the beach?” Jimin questioned.
Chaewon’s head perked up, looking away from the hand that was clasping onto hers but Y/n let go once they reached the group. 
The rest agreed and Y/n turned to her with a smile. “We usually head to the beach after with a few more people to celebrate, you included. Do you need a ride?”
It wasn’t long before she was sitting on the beach after being squeezed into one of the few cars as there were probably a dozen other students. The sun was just about to disappear fully, the weather was more chilly by the beach, the girl in a pair of loose jeans, a hoodie and her varsity jacket with the number 52 on it and her last name.
She had been sitting and talking with mostly Jimin who was sitting beside her on one of the blankets, Yeonjun joining in as he sat across from them on a beach chair he looked two times too tall for. Kazuha had dozed off on Jimin’s shoulder just an hour after they arrived. A small campfire–one of the two where another group was sitting occasionally butting into their conversations–kept them warmer while keeping the atmosphere. 
The shore where the waves gently brushed was also filled with laughter and shouts as a soccer ball was passed around as they played rondo. Part of that circle was Yunjin and in the middle with a guy was Y/n, running around and trying to get possession of the ball. 
Chaewon hadn’t had the chance to talk much more to Y/n after they drove off.
She was a wallflower; Y/n was a social butterfly. 
She’d argue that they were two worlds apart, but she was proven wrong as butterflies were always drawn to flowers. Y/n had approached her the first day and had continued to do so—
“Are Y/n and Yunjin together?” It barely made it past the ocean breeze, gentle waves, laughter and crackling fire as she mumbled the words into the air, they almost managed to get blown away by it. Her fingers fiddled with the soda in her hands, nervous to say the least as her heart pounded at the question she asked.
—but as much as butterflies were drawn to flowers, they also danced among each other the way Y/n and Yunjin did.
She glanced at Jimin who hummed, the girl looking at her and what she got in return was a breathless chuckle. 
“Does it look like it?” Chaewon shrugged at the question, watching as Yunjin ran away from the circle after tunnelling the ball between Y/n’s legs, the cheerleader chasing right after her. 
Their relationship was contagious and it made Chaewon smile, wondering if there was someone like that out there for her. Yunjin was more than lucky, she envied it but not in a bad way, she only wished to find happiness in a new place. She kind of had, but people always wanted more than they had, didn’t they?
“They look like the type that went from best friends to lovers.” She admitted. 
Their dynamic reminded her of two best friends while also having that extra step that made her believe that they were more. Those affectionate gestures, the way they looked at each other and held each other, those glances and touches she had taken notice of.
Chaewon rested her elbows on her knees, the soda can in hand as she spun the tab around with her finger. Her eyes left the two girls as Y/n tackled Yunjin onto the sand, their laughter being almost obnoxiously loud. They landed on Jimin who had been looking at the two and now looked at Chaewon with a slightly confused frown that disappeared as she shook her head with a smile.
“They are the first but not the second.” 
Chaewon frowned. “So they aren’t dating either?” She asked, wondering if they were in the stages of trying to pursue something. That guilt she felt for crushing on someone her new friend was with slowly started to disappear when the girl beside her shook her head.
“Nope, they’ve been best friends since middle school—” She watched as Jimin looked over at the two girls before looking back at her. “You’re crushing on one of them, aren’t you?” She teasingly asked and Chaewon took in a deep breath and held it, a blush dancing its way onto her cheeks and ears. 
Her knee got nudged by Jimin’s and she exhaled the breath that she was holding. “Y/n kind of caught my attention I guess.” She shyly mumbled, letting her hair fall and cover more of her face as she stared down at the blanket under her. 
“I��m vouching for you and if you need some good vouching, there’s no one better than Yunjin.” It made sense because who would be better than Y/n’s best friend? She could maybe look for some moral support and help. Chaewon knew that if the two were best friends she would need as much of Yunjin’s trust as she needed Y/n’s. 
“Ugh, there’s like a whole sandbox in my shoes.” Y/n groaned.
“I guess that’s what happens when you go to the beach and start tackling people,” Yunjin replied, looking at the girl who was sitting beside her on the sand after tackling her. 
Y/n gasped and tilted her head, “does it, Jen?” She mocked and Yunjin chuckled as the girl gave her a light shove as she slipped her shoe back on after emptying it of sand.
The wind blew colder and she watched the way Y/n’s hair blew out of her face, the girl still brushing away some strays that got in the way. Yunjin felt herself hold back a shiver, knowing that the smaller girl was cold as she only had a long sleeve and no jacket. It made her manoeuvre around, the girl giving her a confused hum as she looked back at Yunjin.
“Why are you always so underdressed?” She genuinely asked as she couldn’t remember a single time the girl had dressed according to the weather. It earned her a small chuckle as she settled behind Y/n who leaned back into Yunjin, having the girl sit between her legs. The striker adjusted her varsity jacket and covered Y/n with it too before hugging around her shoulders to keep her warm and to simply be close to the cheerleader. 
Yunjin no longer paid attention to the way her heart constricted before exploding as she had grown used to it after all these years. Especially after coming to terms at the beginning of high school that she was in love with Y/n. A small smile rested on her lips as she propped her chin up on top of Y/n’s head, cupping the cold hands that had started to fiddle with her fingers. 
After a minute of silence, she got her reply. 
“‘Cause it always ends with you hugging me or letting me borrow your clothes. I like that.”
Yunjin was so in love that it hurt and it hurt more each time she bit her tongue to prevent herself from saying it out loud to her best friend. It made her heart twist and pump extra hard, sending warmth throughout her whole body; each time it happened she felt at home. 
That warmth she felt with Y/n was the warmth of a home. 
She wanted to believe that neither said anything to make sure that it stayed this way forever. Yunjin wanted to be stuck in this moment forever even if she wasn’t in a relationship with Y/n at this moment. She could be stuck in a moment like this forever simply because it was just them and she never would have to worry that someone or something could ruin it. It was like a safe space where she knew that she had Y/n and would be the only one to hold her.
Yunjin was also aware that time didn’t stop, not even for love.
“I can do that without you possibly getting sick.” She mumbled. The girl in her arms hummed as their fingers tangled with each other. Yunjin stared ahead at the ocean before them, hoping to find them on the horizon; that somehow her dreams would happen. 
She lifted her head as Y/n turned the slightest in her hold and their eyes met. A smile on her best friend's lips whose hand found its way to the necklace she was wearing, toying with the pendant all while bringing Yunjin closer. It was these moments when Y/n pulled her even closer, where she looked Yunjin in the eye in a serene silence that brought them to Eden. It was these moments that made the girl believe that Y/n was in love when she just silently looked her in the eye.
Yunjin dreamed of getting rid of her bad habits where her mouth was glued shut, where she bit her tongue as it got tied when she was around the girl no matter how much those three words bubbled in her stomach. She dreamed of it being Y/n’s lips that glued her mouth shut by pressing against hers, that it was the girl biting her tongue, tying it with hers, but how did she tell that to Y/n? 
She always wondered what it was that Y/n saw and looked for in these moments with the way she waited. Was she waiting for Yunjin? Or did the soccer captain look too much into it? Was she looking at just a best friend or someone she wanted more with just like the striker did? 
Doubts, fears, worries, and insecurities all made her mouth get stitched together.
The ginger watched as Y/n’s gaze dropped, falling to the pendant of the necklace around her neck. Yunjin’s life would be mundane without Y/n in it, the girl who drove her insane in so many ways and there was no one else she could see herself as in love with.
“I’m lucky to have you.” Was what finally left the girl’s lip with a tired giggle after.
“I think I’m luckier,” Yunjin replied as the girl dropped her head, resting it under Yunjin’s chin who hugged her closer around her shoulders to shield Y/n from the wind. 
“Yeah, you are.” She chuckled at the words, smiling as she knew how lucky she was to have Y/n as her best friend. Yunjin knew that she was one of the luckiest people on earth by getting to feel Y/n’s love no matter in what form it came and with what intentions. She also knew how lucky she was to have the chance to fall in love with her best friend, to love her even if it was in silence. 
The sun was out and warming up the day, the grass on the field was not as green as the grass on the school’s field. It held a yellowish hue to it at certain spots on the enclosed soccer field. There was a gentle breeze of cold and Yunjin kicked the ball, the sound of it hitting the crossbar echoed through the air and she huffed a breath of exhaustion. 
“You’re a surprisingly good playmaker for a centre forward.”
“I used to be a second striker,” Yunjin replied as the ball smoothly glided between her feet and she walked over to where Chaewon was sitting on the grass with her water bottle. “Then our main striker quit and I became captain and main striker because of skill plus my height.” She proceeded to explain.
Yunjin put her hands into the pockets of the trainer she had on to not get too cold in just shorts. She carefully juggled the ball as she stood a few feet away from Chaewon. It was slightly after 1 PM and they had been doing 101 drills after Y/n suggested to ask Chaewon.
Aside from that, Yunjin wanted to get closer to the new girl, so the best option was to ask Chaewon to hang out.
Chaewon was starting to become a close friend like she was with her other friends. There wasn’t anything to complain about, especially with how much they had in common and would play alongside each other for a whole season. 
“Coach was sceptical of putting me as the main striker, thought I was better suited for second–” Chaewon started. “Mostly because of my height.” 
Yunjin looked over at the girl who smiled up at her, chuckling as she nodded her head at the words. “I think we can make the most out of the current lineup.” 
Chaewon hummed at that as she put her water bottle down, slightly tugging onto the sleeves of the compression shirt she had under her jersey. It was a surprise when she got a text from Yunjin in the morning, asking if she wanted to practise some drills. 
That feeling of possibly being alienated had started to fully dissipate.
She busied her fingers by pulling onto the strands of grass, the soft thuds of Yunjin juggling the ball filled her ears and she found herself thinking about the same thing once again. It felt like a good idea to tell Y/n’s best friend that she was starting to like the girl.
That thought had passed her mind a few times since last night, especially when she knew that she would spend time with Yunjin alone today. 
It could make things easier, especially since Chaewon knew that she was good at holding back because she was shy. She feared she would bite her tongue hard and long enough that by the time she would let go, it would be too late. The last thing she wanted was to regret something because her tongue was tied, but it was hard to simply untie knots of shyness that had been with her since she was little. 
She wished she could be more like some people around her and stop biting her tongue; Yunjin felt like a good example from her point of view. The girl always had Y/n’s attention and didn’t shy away.
A deep breath slipped past her lips and she looked up from the grass and at the girl in front of her. There was a mix of anxiety and fear swirling in her stomach, but she forced some courage into it, trying to think of how she only would live once and this was her senior year.
It was truly difficult and it got only harder the more she started to think about it; the more she would overthink, the more reasons came up not to do it. Dating within a friend group? What if Y/n didn’t find her interesting enough? What if she simply wouldn’t be good enough? That paired with the fact that Y/n’s standard was probably impossibly high seeing how her dynamic worked with her best friend. Was Y/n even into girls? 
It all made her want to curl up and hide as the dark gloom of anxiety covered the sky and cast a shadow over her. 
Why was liking someone so hard and scary?
She was supposed to drop the pessimism though.
Chaewon couldn’t let up pursuing something with someone whom she grew attracted to in the blink of an eye. What if this was meant to be and she would waste it because she was scared and shy? That seemed to be the dealbreaker.
“Would you vouch for me if I liked someone you know and are close with?”
“Yeah of course, why wouldn’t I?” Yunjin replied right away after the momentary silence that had fallen between them. It was a bit surprising to hear the girl be this straightforward, especially after seeing Chaewon hold back and shy away often. It let Yunjin know that she was comfortable with her. 
Yunjin obviously would vouch for her new friend and she couldn’t deny it because Chaewon was truly a great person and friend even if they had known each other for only two weeks. 
She got a hum from the girl, her eyes darting between the ball that she was juggling and Chaewon on the grass. Yunjin was about to ask who it was; her mind swirled with the people Chaewon had gotten close with and she was about to utter the words ‘Is it Jimin or Zuha?’ Maybe even Yeonjun no matter how insufferable he could be at times. However, Chaewon was much quicker and Yunjin’s world possibly crumbled into pieces even quicker.
“Okay, ‘cause it’s Y/n.”
The ball dropped, Yunjin felt her heart fall right with it and she couldn’t force a breath out for what felt like hours but was a few seconds. Unable to breathe for the few seconds that it took for her to register the fact that everything would change. 
What had yet to come was the acceptance of how everything would change.
How did she come to terms with losing someone she loved and being nothing more than best friends forever? How did she accept the fact that she would possibly never get to know or get to tell?
Once she was able to get a shaky breath out she realised that they were growing quicker than usual. Something was wrong, something definitely was wrong as a fire that destroyed everything in its way started in her make-believe world where it was her and Y/n forever whether they uttered it out loud or not. 
She was so set on her make-believe world that Chaewon liking the girl she loved didn’t cross her mind because in her head it was Y/n and Yunjin even if it wasn’t written for everyone to see. 
“What?” Yunjin’s voice was laced with confusion, that confusion wasn’t directed at Chaewon liking Y/n. That confusion was directed towards her dreams, that stupid horizon where their dream started. Had Yunjin been stupid enough to think that the horizon was reachable? 
That confusion was the uncertainty of what was next. What came next if Yunjin was in love, but too scared to confess because she didn’t want to lose a best friend, but neither did she want to lose a possible lover to someone else? Lose her by not telling her the truth before someone else gets the chance before Chaewon could unknowingly steal Yunjin’s dream.
“Huh?” Chaewon squinted her eyes as the sun peeked out from behind the clouds that were starting to clear from the sky. Her hand came up to her face to shield her eyes as she looked at Yunjin.
“Huh?” Was all that Yunjin could utter back, her hands jitterly pulling at her trainer as she started to feel uneasy at the fear growing in her.
“Y/n, I like her.” She repeated, assuming that Yunjin didn’t hear what she had said at first. Chaewon repeated them firmly, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t crumbling on the inside because she was unsure of Yunjin’s reaction or if the captain would consider her enough for Y/n. 
“Oh.” That security disappeared from Yunjin’s life and was replaced by what she knew would be a constant fear of losing Y/n to someone else because of an even bigger fear. 
It made Yunjin crouch down before she sat down fully in front of Chaewon. Her eyes darted around, trying to find something to look at that could distract her from the forlornness and apprehension. 
“Yeah.”
“That’s…” There were no words for her to describe what she felt let alone words to say to Chaewon who just admitted to liking the girl she had been in love with since middle school. The girl she had accepted she was in love with at the start of high school. The girl she had wanted to confess to since then, but had always been too scared because of what a high-risk gamble it was.
“Honestly, I was hesitant until last night at the beach after I asked Jimin about it because I thought you two were together.” 
Her eyes briefly darted back to Chaewon who scratched at the back of her neck with a slight frown. Was Yunjin being obvious? If so, did Y/n notice it too? She didn’t want Chaewon to think that she as Y/n’s best friend didn’t find her good enough for the girl. At the same time, she didn’t want Chaewon to take the chance. 
She was stuck in a dilemma within a dilemma. The captain was starting to drown in despair, her tongue getting tied into a tighter knot than ever before as she so badly wanted to tell Chaewon that she loved Y/n. 
“We aren’t but…” Yunjin tried her best to push through, she was fighting for it, but it made her heartbeat worse than it was a second ago. The thought of losing a best friend felt just as scary as losing a possible lover. Her hands balled up the material of her shorts as she stared down at the grass, letting her hair fall and cover the frown on her face all while listening to Chaewon talk.
“I didn’t want to get in the way of anything and I was worried because–” Yunjin’s chest felt heavy and it only got heavier with all these suppressed feelings that grew like a garden. “Well, I wouldn’t stand a chance against you and it’s not like I ever wanted to see you as competition over a girl so I would get over my crush on Y/n if that was the case…I didn’t want to ruin our friendship either since I like where it’s heading.”
“Chaewon…” She didn’t manage to push anything out, there was a lump in Yunjin’s throat that wasn’t letting her speak. Those suppressed feelings she always refused to let out were blocking her airways. 
“It’s a relief, now I stand a chance, you know?”
“Chaewon, I–” She looked up at the girl who had a small smile on her face and Yunjin smiled back at her while feeling how her heart was being pierced by thorns. It felt like she was being mocked by her feelings, laughed at by her own heart for being so stupid. This was her chance to make sure that her new friend would get over her crush on Y/n. 
“I think you stood a chance right from the start.” 
However, Yunjin didn’t stand the slightest chance against her fears and so Chaewon didn’t have much to worry about from the start.
Now each day that Yunjin woke up was filled with such fear and dread that she didn’t want to wake up. Yunjin not only woke up afraid but went to bed even more scared, fearing that when she woke up she would do so to heart-shattering news.
The week went by with Yunjin feeling sick, her heart ached and she felt lost in the sea of choices that she had. There were so many that she could make yet it felt like she had no choices at all. Who was hurting her? It wasn’t Y/n. It wasn’t Chaewon. Yunjin was hurting herself.
Slowly she started to take notice of how over the week Chaewon had already started to make subtle moves despite her shy nature. Yunjin now saw how easily flustered the girl got and how giggly Y/n was with her too. With each time she took a deep breath, bit down on her lower lip, gazed at the girl she was in love with and reminded herself of how Y/n would forever be her best friend and that that’s something that should make her feel over the moon.
Yet all it did was make her happy and ache in pain because she would always have Y/n, but not in the way she wanted to have the girl. It was frustrating, especially because of the agony it caused her.
She knew that Y/n wasn’t spending less time with her because she wasn’t and Yunjin would never mind Y/n spending time with someone else. The problem was that Y/n was spending time with someone who liked her, someone Yunjin said she would vouch for yet every time Chaewon’s name left Y/n’s lips she couldn’t do more than hum because her voice had started to strain from the suppressed feelings. 
What used to be Yunjin walking Y/n to class started to feel like Yunjin dragging herself after Chaewon and her best friend. However, it felt like reassurance every time Y/n would tangle her fingers with Yunjin’s fingers while walking in the middle. Her eyes paying attention to the other girl who would talk before looking over at Yunjin with a smile that made her smile right back.
What type of reassurance was Y/n giving her? Was Y/n sensing that something was off? Yunjin didn’t want to be obvious, but she also wished she knew if that was reassurance of her not being replaced or reassurance of their skinny love going to last for years on end.
She was already reassured that she would never be replaced and she would never doubt that. What she did doubt was the fantasy she had lived in that she still hoped was true. Y/n loved her back.
Yet it lay heavily on her chest whenever she saw Y/n and Chaewon together. 
Her eyes kept glancing towards the open door of the classroom, not paying much mind to anyone else around her. It had been a month since Chaewon transferred, tomorrow would be two weeks since Yunjin’s stomach started turning and throat close up.
It was hard to move at times, scared she would do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing because of how she had been forcing everything to stay inside. That garden of feelings in her lungs was starting to get too big for her to hold in.
Yunjin was holding back the door that was ready to burst open with emotions while constantly sweeping more of them inside. 
The second she heard Y/n’s laugh, she felt a mix of relief and fear, knowing that her best friend was near but that she was probably with Chaewon. She and the girl had this class together, the class before was without Y/n who had physics with Chaewon. Yunjin knew that she would see Chaewon walk the girl to class, that was why Y/n wasn’t early like she usually would be so they could talk before class started. 
It was hard to hate Chaewon, Yunjin truly had no reason to hate the girl as she watched them outside the classroom. The new girl was perfect and if Yunjin hadn’t been in love with her best friend she would wish for nothing more than for Y/n to be with someone as good as Chaewon. 
Maybe she should wish for it right this moment because what if Yunjin wasn’t enough? How could she be when she didn’t dare to even express herself? She always prioritised Y/n’s happiness in the end. 
Chaewon was right there and Yunjin too, but even if she was, she knew that it was miles away with how those words couldn’t seem to reach Y/n. They never would as long as she screamed them on the inside. 
Y/n laughed, she smiled, her eyes sparkled, that little jump she did when excited, the way she paid attention, and held eye contact; it all hurt from how beautiful Yunjin found it. It hurt even more to think that if she did nothing about her love for Y/n; she wouldn’t be the only cause for those things to be ten times as bright. 
She wanted to make Y/n laugh the loudest, smile the biggest, and have her eyes glimmer like water in the sun from love. Yunjin wanted to be the biggest source of happiness as Y/n was hers.
The second she walked in Yunjin straightened her posture and felt that beating of excitement ignite in her heart like it always did. All those worries were suddenly gone as Y/n walked towards her and even if they were in a classroom that was starting to pile up with students; it was just them in Yunjin’s eyes.  
Yunjin wished she was more brave, but even the bravest people were scared of losing someone dear to them. 
It always made her warm the second Y/n was near her, listening attentively to what her best friend was talking about as she sat down beside her. Lately, Yunjin felt more nervous around Y/n, taking notice of how flustered she felt and the way her heart would beat after growing used to it only for it to plague her again. It was as if she was being mocked by her own body by being reminded of what Y/n made her feel and how she would possibly lose someone who made her feel so much to Chaewon because she was scared. 
“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?” She questioned the cheerleader, taking notice of how their knees were brushing against each other; how close they were sitting with her arm grazing Y/n’s now and then. 
It was all becoming a clear picture that she had grown so used to she never noticed its details anymore. 
Y/n smiled at her, Yunjin was expecting the usual answer since no one had planned anything. “You–” She raised her eyebrows as Y/n didn’t finish what she was about to say, realising a breath as she chuckled. “Chaewon just asked if I wanted to hang out tomorrow.” 
Yunjin inhaled before exhaling just as deeply with a pout that disappeared quicker than it appeared. She wouldn’t care, she never did care if Y/n couldn’t hang out with her when she asked or the other way around because it was a given that they would get busy with other people and things at times. It was simply the fact that she wished that Chaewon had never told her about the crush she had grown on Y/n because Yunjin hated the fact that she knew what Chaewon’s intentions were.
It wouldn’t be painful if she hadn’t known; Yunjin would have seen it as nothing more than a friendly hangout and not Chaewon trying to get closer to the girl Yunjin was in love with. 
“That’s fine,” she reassured Y/n, her fingers toying with the sleeves of her varsity jacket. Yunjin didn’t mind, she was just scared of where one simple hangout would lead because she still needed some more time to think this through. No matter how scared she was, she needed to be sure that those fears were worth suffocating for.
“I’m sure you can tag along–” Yunjin knew that Y/n’s kindness made the girl oblivious yet she hoped that it was more than kindness and obliviousness towards her. She stopped her, knowing that Chaewon asked just Y/n for a reason. As much as it hurt, Yunjin was a good friend and would continue hurting instead of hurting someone else. 
“No, she probably has stuff planned for the two of you…It’s not like there’s no next week.” Somehow it still felt like one of these weeks would be the last ones until Y/n would be swept away from her, ridding Yunjin of any chances to confess if she chose to do so. 
Chaewon wasn’t the best at planning, especially if she had yet to get to know Y/n on a deeper level. She took her chances the second she cleared her confusion about Y/n and Yunjin being together. It took away the guilt of crushing on the girl and it made it easier to act out on her feelings. Her gut feeling told her to finally ask the girl out and she did, but she wasn’t brave enough to clarify that she would like to take her on a date.
It was a hangout.
She winged it after getting to know a bit more about Y/n, spending each free moment between them talking and showing interest. The perfect moments were the classes they had together, the few classes she could walk Y/n to and the times she bumped into the girl between periods.
Chaewon did her best to show interest, forcing herself to break down her wall of uncertainty and shyness–still struggling–hoping that she was enough to get Y/n’s attention back. It was more difficult than she would’ve thought as the girl seemed to fall between oblivious and knowing yet playing dumb. Chaewon couldn’t figure it out. Was Y/n getting the hints or was she oblivious to them?
Or maybe it was Chaewon’s fault as she hadn’t dared to be obvious enough either because of how frightening it was to be vulnerable about her feelings, especially as someone closed off and typically shy.
She worked with what she had.
And so she was walking with her hands in her pockets, too nervous to take them out as she kept fiddling with stuff while walking beside Y/n at the aquarium. The enthusiasm and just Y/n in general was making her smile, her little crush was growing gradually, being blown up like a balloon and she had to bite back to not smile too much at certain times. 
“Do you miss Austin a lot?” The girl suddenly asked as they reached the moon jellies.
Chaewon felt that stupid longing again and she wasn’t sure why it mattered so much if she was in her senior year and would be moving away to university after. Maybe because it was so sudden and unfair to just be dragged away from her home as it was the last year she would get to spend there. Now once she left for university, when she would visit home it would mean visiting this new home and not the one where she grew up.
Chaewon had left a part of her behind and now wanted to find a way to fill it and build a new part so it wouldn’t be as arduous. 
“I do miss it, all the friends I had there, memories, the place where I grew up—” She replied, glancing at Y/n who was crouched down to look closer at the jellyfish. It made Chaewon crouch down too beside the girl, the calmness of the moment, all the moments she had with Y/n filled that empty spot slowly. She assumed that it was because Y/n was the first one to make her feel welcomed and at home whether with words or actions.
It could have been anyone, but she was lucky enough to land on Y/n in the school.
“It will always be my home, Long Island is great but it will never be the place where I grew up.” So much for being a closed-off person, it felt like she was knocking over glasses filled with water when she was with Y/n from how much she so easily let spill from her mouth. She couldn’t seem to seek solace in anyone else. 
“It won’t be the same when you visit home now if you leave, will it?” Chaewon rested her arms over her knees and rested her cheek on top of them to keep her gaze on Y/n instead of the jellies. It made her smile at how understood she felt by the girl. It warmed her that the cheerleader did her best to understand even if she had lived in Long Island since she was born. 
Chaewon pursed her lips at the smile that grew, the heat that warmed her cheeks and the way her heart started to race. “It won’t unfortunately.” She mumbled, watching how the blue light illuminated Y/n’s beauty, letting her know that there was beauty everywhere in the world and not just where her home was. 
Y/n made her heart jump when she was caught looking at the girl, however, she couldn’t look away. The cheer captain didn’t seem to mind being more interesting than the exhibit was to Chaewon. 
“We will help you create enough memories during senior year so you have something to come back to and reminisce about.” That was where Chaewon hoped that all her new friends would come in and help, especially Y/n who she hoped she had a chance with. It would be memorable and something she would want to come back to if she was with someone who lived all their life in the state. 
“That would be great.” The cheer captain nodded at her words, looking back at the tank with the jellyfish. 
“Where are you going after the school year ends?” 
“I’m hoping to get scouted by UCLA, that’s where I want to apply either way.” Her words made Y/n look right back at her with a small smile. 
“Maybe some of us were destined to meet or we would be brought to each other by fate, depending on what you believe in.” 
“Why’s that?” Chaewon questioned, getting back up on her feet as Y/n stood up. 
“We’re applying for the same school, Yunjin is hoping for the same as you. So maybe if you hadn’t moved here, we would still meet if we got into the same university—” She walked beside the girl, their shoulders and fingers brushed against each other, making Chaewon grab onto the material of her hoodie. “You know the whole ‘brought to each other by fate’ or ‘destined to meet’,” She chuckled at Y/n’s words, assuming that the girl had no clue how much more they fueled Chaewon. 
What if it was meant to be? Chaewon had heard that love had its ways of bringing people who are made for each other together. Maybe that was why she grew attracted the second she saw Y/n. Was it the same for Y/n? What if Y/n would be the one she was going to fall in love with? Her heart started to beat tenfold, her silly little crush growing more serious with each second she thought about it. 
It would be best if she stopped indulging in superstitions before she hurt herself. 
“How are they coming out?” 
Chaewon chuckled as she looked at the latest picture, moving her phone away when the cheerleader tried to get a peek at her screen. “There’s no deleting any.” She established first as she found every picture of the girl overly perfect and memorable. Photogenic was yet another thing the girl was. 
Y/n was perfect; it could be Chaewon’s heart eyes, but there truly wasn’t anything to dislike about the girl. There was beauty on the outside which was the first thing Chaewon caught onto when looking at Y/n when she first stepped out onto the field on her first day and then she noticed the beauty on the inside when Y/n first spoke to her and made her feel at home.
“That means that they are bad,” Y/n complained, making her shake her head in disagreement.
“The opposite, I don’t think it’s possible to get a bad picture of you.” It made her laugh when Y/n at last managed to grab hold of her forearm and she let the girl overpower her, bringing down her hand with the phone. Her free hand went up to the girl’s head, petting along the plush penguin beanie the cheerleader had on her head that Chaewon bought for her on their way out of the aquarium. 
“You’re being bold today.” 
“It’s easier when you look this cute and less intimidating.” She mumbled before flicking the beak of the penguin and taking her phone away from Y/n. Chaewon looked down at her phone and the lock screen flashed open with a new wallpaper. A picture Y/n had taken when she was busy looking at the girl’s beanie, petting her head and Y/n pouting at the camera. 
“The cost of keeping those pictures is me and you as your lock screen–” She smiled at those words, something she found herself doing with just the thought of the girl who stood in front of her. “You look cute all engrossed by my beanie.” It made Chaewon look down at her feet and her shoulders slump inwards as she put her phone back into her pocket at those words. 
Y/n called her cute.
If only she knew that she was all engrossed by her and not the beanie.
She glanced over at the river they were walking alongside and she thought about it for a second. Just a second and not any longer because if she spent a second longer she would end up overthinking and backing out. 
“Y/n…”
“Yeah?” She heaved a sigh as she looked at the cheerleader in front of her. Hands started to nervously twist the material inside her pockets while looking at Y/n who had the sun gently casting its rays on her skin. Her eyes sparkled, dimples prominent as she kept a small smile on her lips while looking Chaewon in the eye–Chaewon trying her best to keep eye contact–waiting.
“Would you mind thinking of this as a date rather than a hangout?” Chaewon’s heart was beating in her ears and she felt like she would get a heatstroke from the waves of warmth that covered her face. 
If she hadn’t been gripping inside her pockets her fingers would be trembling with anxiety. This was the boldest and most straightforward she had possibly been and it was twisting her stomach. 
“I have to be honest…” That worry grew with those words coming from Y/n. Her eyes widened in fear of rejection and she was starting to regret that she even asked to begin with. Was this it? 
“I kind of figured those were the intentions when you insisted on paying and handling everything.”
Chaewon exhaled deeply, relaxing her body while her heart continued to pound because it had yet to calm down like the rest of her. Maybe she had been obvious enough without having to say it. She didn’t manage to utter a single word, still trying to collect herself from the fears she faced while watching Y/n grab hold of the flaps of the beanie while staring up at her. 
“What kind of date?” 
Chaewon had practised this answer because she didn’t want to move too fast or too slow. After all, there was no way she was the only one in the entire school who was interested in Y/n. 
She cleared her throat, getting rid of the trembling it would possibly do. 
“A no-pressure date where you don’t have to think about where it’s heading, but rather to get to know each other without having to think about whether you like me or not and just get close for the first few ones before you think about the rest to know for sure if you want anything more or not.”
She was sure that no matter how many times she practised it, she still ended up rambling because she felt out of breath at the end of her sentence. Her wide eyes laid on Y/n, expectant, hoping that what she had said made sense because it did in her head. It did earn her a small giggle which she hoped meant that she was doing something right. 
“Okay, but there’s one thing.”
“Of course.” She had never agreed as quickly before, feeling the giddiness grow within her while biting on her lower lip to stop herself from grinning. 
“Nothing gets awkward if you ask me to date you and I reject you for any reason. I also think it will be better if you don’t ask for reasons so it doesn’t ruin anything.”
“You sound set on rejecting me. You don’t have to agree out of pity.” Her hands came out of her pockets, pulling her sleeves down and squeezing them to get rid of the clamminess on her palms. She proceeded to scratch at her neck, her anxious habits kicking in right away as her hands were jittery. The possibility of it being out of pity hung in the air as she watched Y/n shake her head.
“I’m not, I just don’t want a possible friendship getting ruined if it doesn’t come to anything.” She could get behind that considering they were still getting to know each other and it could either evolve into a friendship or something more from this point. 
“Okay–” A calmness finally washed over her as they stood by the river, taking in a deep breath as she gazed over Y/n’s slightly flushed face before she looked at the hands that were clutching on the flaps of the beanie. 
“Can I hold your hand then?” The blushing was starting to get overwhelming for Chaewon, but she couldn’t help but push herself as she was beginning to get comfortable with it the more she did.
“Yeah, what else do you usually initiate on a first date, Chaewon?” Shivers danced along her hot body when Y/n let go of the flaps and slid her hand into Chaewon’s properly for the first time. Her brain ignored all her other worries she had about holding Y/n’s hand as they started to walk, only being able to think about the fact that she was holding her hand.
“Hand holding and hugs…Maybe a kiss on the cheek from you if you enjoyed it.” She mumbled the words into the air as she watched their hands.
“You’re so sly.” Chaewon wanted to squeal–she would once she got home–when Y/n stopped and placed a small peck on her already scorching cheek before she pulled her to continue walking along the lake while holding hands. 
Saturday was game day with Chaewon’s first game on the starting lineup and Yunjin wasn’t worried after all the drills they had been practising for the past two weeks. She had other things to worry about even if her priority should be the upcoming games aiming to become state champions to then take part in nationals. 
However, Y/n would always come first, especially if it felt like she was on the brink of losing something she didn’t yet have with her but wanted.
“How was yesterday?” Yunjin only managed to have a brief conversation with Y/n about her hangout with Chaewon as the girl was helping her stretch before the game. Honestly, after she got the answer, she didn’t want to talk more about it because her throat closed up with feelings she suppressed and her stomach twisted. 
“It was fun, we went to the aquarium, walked along the river, got some snacks and then she drove me home–” Yunjin settled for the answer and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear the rest from Y/n but she still did. “She asked if I could think of it as a date instead of a hangout.” 
That heavy gloom had washed right over Yunjin, it felt like she was in the deepest parts of a blue sea where it was hard to breathe without it burning her lungs and making her tear up.
“Did you?” She carefully asked to make sure and to mask the quivering in her voice. 
“Yeah, it’s just to get to know each other first without thinking about what’s next.”
“Do you think there will be more?” Yunjin wasn’t sure why she asked because she knew that she would shed that gloom that coated her if Y/n answered with something she dreaded hearing. All she got was a moment of silence as Y/n looked up at her in thought, tilting her head as she shrugged. 
“If it happens it happens naturally and at its own pace so I can’t say much.” 
Was this Yunjin’s shot to still have her chance with Y/n?
It was never too late for love, was it?
Yet her mouth was stapled shut and the more dates she watched Chaewon take Y/n on the more frustrations stored themselves behind that locked door of emotions. It was hurting to hold it closed. All those frustrations were towards herself and she didn’t think she could have taken them out on someone else. 
They were getting the best of her.
“What is up with you, Huh Yunjin?” She could only stare down at her hands as she sat in her coach’s office after practice. 
Yes, they were on a 5 - 0 - 0 winning streak, but Yunjin knew that she was slacking and it was just like the coach said; “You are physically on the field, but where’s your head?” Her head was stuck on her best friend possibly falling for someone who wasn’t her, her head was stuck on thinking about losing someone she loved to Chaewon.
“I’m sorry coach, I will get myself together for the next game.” She apologised, ready to stand up and as she did she was stopped.
“If you don’t I won’t have a choice but to bench you and make Chaewon the captain.” 
Yunjin knew that it was all her fault. She should be able to put up that facade she had made when she was on the field to not let her emotions get the best of her when playing. 
It was impossible to put away the mess of emotions inside her though and even hanging out with Y/n wasn’t making them go away. All she could think about was how her world was starting to crumble. 
Would Chaewon unintentionally take everything away from her simply because she couldn’t keep her composure and untie her tongue?
That seemed to be the last straw and the door burst open at the worst moment possible.
The second half was almost halfway done, 0 - 0 and she could feel the pressure of her complicated emotions and the coach’s words together with an expectant crowd. Was she just about to lose again? That anger she had towards herself for not being able to do what she needed was starting to seep through and make her take it out the wrong way. 
Yunjin found it unfair; she had been playing for ages for the school’s team and was being threatened with being replaced by Chaewon. It felt even more unfair that someone she had known for years and loved for almost just as many would be Chaewon’s. The situation she was in was against her and it wasn’t fair considering the amount of love she had for Y/n.
The ball was passed to Chaewon as they were attacking the goal, at least the intention from the midfielder was to pass it to Chaewon who would forward the ball to the captain for an assist. That was until Yunjin’s overwhelming emotions got the best of her and she stole the ball right before it touched the second striker’s foot. It caused her shoulder to bump into Chaewon’s. It was harsh enough to have Chaewon almost stumble to the grass, barely catching herself with the tips of her fingers while continuing towards the goal.
At the back of her head, Yunjin still remembered her words and her morals; she would always prioritise the whole team to make sure they won over her desires. 
That wasn’t the case this time because if it hadn’t been for Yunjin’s anger that turned her selfish they would have scored. What they got in return was the captain getting squeezed by two defenders and tumbling onto the grass before the whistle was blown and their chance of scoring was lost. 
The wet grass she had fallen onto left a taste of metallic anguish in her mouth while the scent of dirt lingered by her nose. The force had left her lungs to burn, but she was overwhelmed by her frustrations to feel the actual pain.
“Are you okay? What was that about?” 
She harshly wiped the sweat off her brow to not get any in her eyes and her hard glare landed on Chaewon who was panting for air while extending her hand to help the captain up.
The girl was nothing but a good sport even if what happened wasn’t slightly her fault. Everything was Yunjin’s fault and always would be, wouldn’t it? Losing her title, losing the girl she loved, and wasting opportunities; were all Yunjin’s fault.
Confusion lingered in Chaewon’s gaze as Yunjin shoved her hand away. “Leave me alone, Chaewon.” Yunjin wished and hoped that the girl would disappear fully from her life no matter how perfect she was. It only made her wish that much more for the girl to disappear as she got up on her own, holding onto her knees as she leaned over.
Yunjin tightly shut her eyes, trying to muffle everything and everyone, feeling the tears trickle from her eyes as they stung her warm cheeks. The team surrounded her, worrying pats on her back and questions were thrown her way. She did it all on her own and she knew it. Yunjin spat out the blood in her mouth as she bit into her lip when colliding with the grass.
The only thing that snapped her out of it was the coach’s voice and she shrugged everyone off of her. Her shoulder once again bumped Chaewon’s who she didn’t spare a second glance at while wiping the blood off her lip. The lump was hurting her throat, making her want to burst out in tears the same second she reached the woman in front of her. 
“You’re off the field, I will talk with you after.” Yunjin scoffed, ready to walk towards the bench. “Kim!” She was stopped though as her shoulder was grabbed and she looked at her coach. 
“I told you about the consequences, Huh, hand the armband over to Kim.” 
Her jaw clenched, fighting the tears that wanted to spill as she felt blow after blow hit her where it hurt the most with things she loved the most. 
Yunjin’s trembling fingers tore the armband off of her as she snivelled and turned just in time as Chaewon jogged over to them. She didn’t say a word nor did she wait for what Chaewon had to say as she opened her mouth; Yunjin shoved it into the girl’s chest with a huff, making Chaewon stumble before it fell to the grass and she walked away. 
It was somewhere between humiliating and not as her emotions blinded her while she walked off the field and past the bleachers, past everyone she knew and she didn’t stop. Yunjin couldn’t stop because the closer to the lockers that she got the more sobs started to spill from her lips. 
There was nothing else that she wanted to do but to love Y/n yet she hated how love made her feel like she was floating and then as if she was falling on her way to crash to her death. 
She had yet to cry about it, Yunjin had been suppressing every little bit of pain she had felt, and she had been suffering without shedding any tears. It was something she had gotten good at just like she was good at suppressing her feelings, letting them build up inside until she was choking on them. Her choked sobs echoed through the empty locker room as she cried into her palms, sitting on the bench.
“Jen…Can I come in?”
She looked up, her eyes falling on the door where Y/n’s soft voice came from behind. Yunjin snivelled, trying to figure out if seeing Y/n would make her feel better or worse. She knew that it would be the first, but she also knew it would push her tears further. The striker wiped at her eyes while mumbling a loud enough ‘yeah’ to her best friend. 
What she knew was that Y/n wouldn’t come in and assume how she was feeling, she wouldn’t pity her, she wouldn’t lie to her, and she wouldn’t invalidate the way she felt. Y/n would offer her comfort, let her find solace in her and simply listen to her. 
The problem was that she couldn’t tell Y/n how she felt, there was nothing she could let off her chest when it all was about the cheerleader whose shoulder she was crying on.
“Do you need anything?” Yunjin shook her head as she didn’t want anything but Y/n who was right beside her. It made her body shake as she cried, aware of the fact that she was crying because she finally had a way of letting out all these suppressed feelings and that what happened was the final push. 
She couldn't hold it anymore, it was making her body tremble and she felt weak because of the exhaustion she felt from holding everything to herself.
Her eyes stayed shut as she cried in the crook of Y/n’s neck with her fingers tangled in the girl’s top. She dwelled in the feeling of Y/n rubbing her back with one hand as the other gently massaged her scalp. Yunjin knew that she would never lose this, but she would never be able to call Y/n hers and that brought her pain even if Y/n could soothe it. 
“I’m always here for you, I will always listen to whatever you have on your mind, Jen, I’m here to just be a shoulder to cry on too.” 
She took in shuddering breaths, trying her best to calm down as she listened to the girl’s words, but somehow they made it worse. The kinder Y/n was, the more she cared; the more Yunjin fell and the harder the impact of the fall was. It hurt to fall because she didn’t tell Y/n the truth and had no one to catch her. 
“I hate it when you cry, Jen. I don’t want to see you hurting.” Yunjin knew that Y/n wasn’t stupid. One thing Yunjin knew was that her best friend knew her well enough to know that more than what happened on the field bothered her. 
It was enough for Yunjin to find the comfort that she needed without having to tell Y/n what it was because the girl was aware that it was more even if she didn’t know exactly what it was.
“Thank you…” She mumbled, slowly pulling away from the girl as she wiped away the remaining tears on her cheeks. 
There was so much she wanted to thank Y/n for, there was so much she wanted to tell her yet when she looked up from her lap and at her best friend she couldn’t bring herself to risk it. Her lips parted and they meekly left her lips, moving but barely as she couldn’t tell them loud enough for anyone but her soul to hear.
She watched how the corners of Y/n’s lips tugged up and the girl reached her hand up to her face. It made Yunjin’s ears ring from how her heart started to beat. “You’re so stupid, Jen–” A breathless chuckle left Y/n’s lips and the ginger swallowed, her eyes not being able to meet Y/n’s gaze. After all, it always felt like they were trying to tempt Yunjin, trying their best to coax those suppressed feelings out.
Y/n made it feel like the easiest thing in the world; there was no one easier to love than Y/n and so those words were easy to say to the girl. 
Yunjin was the one who made it the most difficult thing in the world; there was nothing harder than risking someone so easy to love. 
“It’s gonna be swollen, idiot.” Yunjin winced, pulling her face away from Y/n’s hold after the girl's thumb pushed against the side of her lower lip. The pain only kicked in now as she looked at the little blood it left on Y/n’s thumb. 
“I’m sorry for being tackled, I guess.” She grumbled, making Y/n roll her eyes. 
There was yet another knock on the door that interrupted them and Y/n stood up, walking over to the door. The ginger watched her open the door which made her look down when she saw who was on the other side.
“I will be back with ice.” Chaewon nodded at the girl who gave her a small smile as she grabbed the door to hold it while Y/n stepped outside. Her eyes stayed on the cheer captain for a second who walked away before she stepped inside and let the door fall closed. 
There was an awkward tension lingering in the air as she leaned against the door and finally looked at Yunjin who was staring down at the tiled floor under her cleats. Chaewon cleared her throat as she was there for two reasons. There was no way she could just let this go, not after what happened on the field. 
Chaewon took a seat beside Yunjin, her hands holding onto the edge of the bench as she looked at her cleats. With a deep breath that she released right after she looked at the girl who was still avoiding looking at her.
“Yunjin, did I do something?” There was no reason to wait around because no one would fix this for them. Chaewon didn’t like where it had ended because she hadn’t even known it was heading this way. As far as she knew there was no bad blood between them, however, she had a hunch about what it could be from Yunjin’s side.
“What?” The girl finally looked up, her lashes still wet, the blood dry on the corner of her lip. Chaewon pursed her lips, feeling sympathy for what her teammate and friend went through, from the fall to being ripped off the title of the team captain in front of everyone. 
“I feel like that anger was aimed at me and I’m not sure what I did, however, I’m willing to apologise if I truly did something to upset you.” She didn’t know exactly what it was, she could assume, but she wanted to know exactly what it was from Yunjin herself. Chaewon was willing to apologise for it because she could tell that it was more than the frustrations of pressure and feeling the need to win the game. 
Chaewon pissed Yunjin off with how nice she was, with how good she was because all Yunjin wanted to do was resent her, but it was impossible to resent someone who hadn’t done anything and was clueless about Yunjin’s feelings for the cheerleader. Y/n herself didn’t know. 
Her eyes looked over Chaewon as they stared at each other in silence.
Yunjin huffed and looked away, wiping away the remnants of tears on her lashes. The momentary silence let her consider what she should tell the girl. The consideration of telling Chaewon the truth about being in love with Y/n laid heavily on the scale as she wanted to lean towards it.
“Is it about Y/n?” Chaewon scratched at the back of her neck as Yunjin looked back at her after she broke the silence between them. She couldn’t help but feel like it could have been about the girl she liked. 
She cleared her throat as Yunjin was looking at her with wide yet confused eyes. The words that she pushed out from between her lips weren’t easy to say aloud even if it was easy to like Y/n. 
Chaewon still did it, “I like her, yes, but I’m not trying to hog or steal your best friend. I’m sorry if I may have been taking away from your time together, but those aren’t my intentions…Y/n will always be your best friend and I will never try to replace that.” Her hands dropped to her lap as she looked between them and Yunjin. 
Chaewon was aware of how much time she had been spending with Y/n both at school and outside of it whether they were planned dates or spontaneous hangouts. It wasn’t intentional; she liked Y/n and was trying her best to get to know her and possibly spark interest from the cheerleader’s side too. They had known each other for a good two months and she hoped to soon enough take the next step.
Yunjin sighed and looked in front of her to blink away the tears that wanted to fall again as those emotions were still faintly swirling around her head. That was the problem, wasn’t it? She would always be Y/n’s best friend. That was exactly the problem and she hated it even if she cherished the fact that Y/n was her best friend and the other way around.
“It’s–It’s not that Chaewon, we still hang out like we used to–” This was her chance even if it would be selfish to say it now that the girl beside her had been seeing Y/n. It would either spark competition between them or make Chaewon step back.
It still came with the same risks, the ones that made her overthink and back down. “It’s just the stress getting to me with these games, aiming for nationals and hopefully getting scouted along the way.” Her hands gripped the material of her shorts, angry with herself once again for refusing to say what she wanted. She would only be able to blame herself once it would be too late.
“Okay, I was worried it might’ve been that. I’m trying my best and hoping that she likes me enough so that I can ask her out to officially date…You think she would say yes?”
Chaewon was making it hard to stay collected once again and she managed to pull off a smile through the stinging in her chest. 
“There’s only one way to find out, Chaewon.” The girl beside her let out a breathless chuckle as she nodded while Yunjin felt stupid for saying those words to someone else, but yet she refused to listen to them herself.
“Also.” She looked up at Chaewon who got up to stand in front of her.
“I loved being captain back in Austin, but I could never accept this–” She watched her tear off the armband with the C on it before she held it out in front of Yunjin. “You’re a great captain Yunjin, you deserve to have it more than me or anyone else on the team. I never wanted to put it on, especially not that way…I will talk to the coach.” 
“Thank you, Chaewon.”
If only she could curse Chaewon out for making everything so much harder as she accepted the captain's armband back. 
Despite the small commotion on the field, they had won 1 - 0. 
Chaewon couldn’t help but feel like each day everything about this transfer felt better and brighter. She missed home, her old friends and everything else, but it all was being filled. It was a drastic change she thought would cause more damage than good however, she had been wrong.
After every game they won they found themselves at the beach and this time was no different. It served as a way for her to take time and reflect and see where she was now compared to when she was at the beach for the first time after just starting.
It felt less empty, there wasn’t as much confusion, she felt that emptiness within her after leaving a part of herself behind slowly get filled; building a new part in its place. There was a new home being built in her, that fear of alienation disappearing and she now longed after the familiarity of the new people she had grown close to. They were the ones who made her feel at home.
Home is where the heart lies; Chaewon never left her heart back in Austin.
She was feeling quite at home, slowly finding a place to call home as she leaned back against her palms, Y/n leaning against her shoulder that was behind the cheer captain. It had taken less than a month to find a place to settle in and around two months to settle and let her heart pump warmth to keep her home warm. It made Chaewon smile at how naturally it was all falling into place. 
The gentle crackling of the fireplace filled the air together with talk and laughter from the rest. The scent of the fire wasn’t as overwhelming when Y/n rested her head on her shoulder, her arm resting over Chaewon’s leg and fingers drawing circles on her knee. 
The cheerleader talked to the others while Chaewon rested her cheek against Y/n’s, letting the sweet scent and warmth in. It had become her new favourite one; it was the only one she knew just by entering a room right after the girl. It let her know that she would feel at home. 
“The starry sky suits you.” She mumbled, feeling the girl who was leaning against her chuckle. 
“Are you trying to disgust Yeonjun?” Chaewon huffed at that and looked over at the guy who was already making a face at their closeness. 
“He’s the biggest anti-romantic on this planet.” Her eyes fell on Y/n who looked up at her with a teasing smile.
“So you’re trying to be romantic?”
“If it’s working, then yes.” She smiled as Y/n giggled and looked back at Jimin and Kazuha who called for her attention. Her heart raced with warmth as she watched Y/n continue to trace patterns along her knee while talking. 
Chaewon knew that there was no need to wait any longer, there was a garden of feelings growing in her chest for Y/n and she needed to let them out before she would suffocate. She needed to tell Y/n how she felt before she could start hurting from suppressing it in her.
Yunjin found herself walking back towards her group of friends after trailing off and standing alone in the cold sand with the wind blowing through what felt like holes in her body. Those same holes were ones she filled with the love she had for Y/n, the same feelings she suppressed until she was choking on them.
It took her all these years to realise that the longer she refused to express her feelings towards the girl the more it would hurt, it would hurt whether or not anyone else was in the picture or not. 
It was a punishment for keeping it inside her when she could have let her feelings grow because they were beautiful yet she suppressed them and let them cramp up inside her until it was burning her lungs.
Each time her throat closed up was because of something she felt but refused to say.
Love didn’t have to be painful, it had all along been her choice to make it hurt.
Yunjin had been hurting herself.
Her eyes scanned her group of friends, her hands in her pockets as she poked her tongue at the wound on the side of her lip. She knew that the heavy beating she felt in her chest mixed with an acidic sting when her eyes landed on her best friend and Chaewon could turn into the former alone if she confessed her love. 
Yunjin realised that even if she were to get rejected it wouldn’t hurt as much to see Y/n with someone else after. She realised where the problem lay; it was suppressing her feelings that hurt and not fearing them.
The only cure to be able to breathe normally again was to let her feelings flow out through her mouth instead of cramping them inside her lungs. She knew despite everything there was only one choice.
Yunjin walked over to the two as there was only one spot left which was beside Y/n who was wearing the captain’s varsity jacket; two, Chaewon’s resting in the girl’s lap. The longer she stared at the campfire in front of her the hotter her eyes felt as the realisation was starting to lift weights off of her chest and she knew what she truly had to do. 
It all opened up her cramped space for those feelings in her chest, growing like a floral garden, each petal, each flower being something she felt for Y/n. It was all the flowers she wanted to give to the girl and she knew that she would as she felt Y/n’s pinky intertwine with hers on the blanket. 
Yunjin wasn’t going to wait any longer as she glanced at Y/n, knowing that it was the girl she wanted to give all the flowers in the world to. All those flowers she had been dying from because of how much it all had grown in her chest without giving what she should have given to Y/n ages ago.
She was in love with her best friend and she was done with suppressing what was beautiful.
Remnants of adrenaline coursed through Yunjin’s body as they officially made it to the quarter-finals. Her heart continued to pound even after she had changed and she knew that it was more than just the high of qualifying. She had hurt enough because of love and she wanted to continue to love without the part where it hurt every time she didn’t express herself.
It felt like time was ticking away, especially after seeing how much closer Chaewon was to the girl yet Yunjin couldn’t help but feel like there was something between her and Y/n. That she hadn’t been living in a make-believe world this whole time and that their skinny love was true and Yunjin would take the step to turn it into love. 
The only thing she was losing was time she could have loved Y/n in more than silence.
“Okay, I’m just gonna find my dad to get the keys to his car.” Yunjin looked over her shoulder as she pulled her varsity jacket out of her locker to see Chaewon sling her duffle bag over her shoulder. She gave Chaewon a terse smile when the girl sent her one first before averting her gaze.
“I will meet you at the parking lot after.” 
“I will try to make it on time.” The second striker chuckled at Yujin’s words who walked after her with crutches. Chaewon opened the door and held it for the injured girl before leaving in a hurry. The door fell closed after them, the rest of the team keeping up their chatter.
Yunjin slung the bag over her shoulder and held the jacket under her arm to give it to Y/n like she always did. This time she hoped she could give it without it being platonic. With that, she bid goodbye to whoever she wasn’t going to see later and left the locker room.
She walked through the empty halls of the sports wing, hoping to bump into Y/n while she rummaged for her phone in the bag. Undoubtedly it felt like she was about to have a heart attack with how much it hurt when her heart started colliding with her ribcage, a faint lightheadedness clouding her as she did her best to take deep breaths. 
This wasn’t because she was afraid to express her feelings anymore, but because she was finally going to take the step to do something she had wanted for years. This was the excitement that was so similar to the fear that she almost mixed it up once again.
Yunjin couldn’t waste more time, Y/n wasn’t someone she wanted to make wait when she deserved every last drop of love Yunjin could give her.
The lack of a reply was making Yunjin’s nerves spike because she wanted to do it now and not wait a second longer. To get all these fears behind. Her fingers fidgeted with the jacket in her hands, glancing at her phone as she waited for a reply, aware that the girl often took longer in the changing room or wouldn’t have her phone right at hand. 
It wasn’t the first time Yunjin waited for a reply, but this time felt like ages as she leaned against the wall not far from the entrance of the basketball court. It was making her jittery, shifting on her legs as it was hard to stand still with all those petals and flowers tickling her stomach and lungs; Yunjin would burst if she wouldn’t let these things flow out for Y/n to hear at last.
Her phone screen lit up and she looked towards the entrance of the basketball court that burst open to see the cheerleader walk out with her eyes on the phone screen. Yunjin pushed herself up from the wall, her hands clutching onto the jacket to occupy her fingers and hold onto something to not back down once again.
“Jen!” She smiled as Y/n looked up from the phone and caught her presence right away. 
“Congratulations on qualifying, you guys did so well. You were perfect on the field.” Yunjin bit down on her lower lip at the words that were causing everything to overgrow in her chest. She could feel it pushing up by force this time, the garden didn’t want to wait; it was too beautiful to keep cramped up inside her. She needed to let Y/n know how much she loved her.
How in love she was.
“Thank you, we did our best, but–” The captain cleared her throat, feeling all those familiar feelings and pains she usually did because of how she suppressed her words. This time it came with reassurance to herself that she was going to do it. 
She took a deep breath as Y/n tilted her head, a small frown of confusion and Yunjin felt it all wash over her, this time melting and letting herself get coaxed by Y/n’s beautiful eyes when the cheerleader grabbed hold of her hands. That reassuring warmth of Y/n’s touch she always felt and got from the girl reminded her of how it would be fine.
It was clear to Yunjin that her overwhelmed body and nervousness lingered in the air and that Y/n could sense it. This time she let herself get lost in the comfort, the solace and trust Y/n brought her.
“There’s this thing I really want to tell you, Y/n.” She got a nod in response, thumbs brushing over her knuckles and she slid one hand out of Y/n’s grasp to nervously play with the pendant of her necklace. 
Yunjin could feel her mind drift off and she was aware that it would be a blur until it was over as she cleared her throat once again to try and get rid of the scratching she felt because of her nerves. 
“Anything, Jen.”
“There’s so much that I want to tell you and have wanted to say probably since we started high school, and I have always hesitated for even more reasons…” Her eyes searched for something to look at yet all she could look at was Y/n who was right in front of her. That frown on her face slowly disappeared the more Yunjin managed to ramble and push out, hoping that somewhere between these lines the words ‘I’m in love with you’ would come out. 
The pounding of her heart was muffling everything for her and it was warm. “I think that the biggest is the fact that you’re my best friend and I would never want to ruin that in any way.” 
She released yet another sigh and let her hand fall, clutching onto the side of her jeans. Yunjin couldn’t remember if she had ever been this anxious, the heat was coursing up to her face and ears and there was a faint buzzing in her ears. This was Yunjin facing her biggest fears and she knew that once she did it she would feel ecstatic. 
“It’s just that–It’s really hard to keep it to myself and I managed to keep it for years now. But, I can’t keep doing that because I always end up…hurting.” She inhaled once again, forgetting to breathe between her sentences. It was overwhelming with how much was on the line and she felt like crying because of the waves of emotions washing over her without a stop. 
She was desperate to tell Y/n that she was in love and even more desperate for the girl to feel the same. The longer it took the more her voice quivered and she still fought to avoid these negative thoughts and doubts that tried to hit her like they always did.
Her mind was in too big of a daze to take her time and read Y/n’s expression, the girl was looking at her with those usual soft eyes, letting her know that it was fine. That was all Yunjin needed to know to continue talking. 
It would be fine and Y/n would never hurt her.
“There’s so much and I don’t know what to start with or what exactly to say, but the thing I’ve always wanted to say the most, knowing that I can trust you as my best friend is that,” her last breath and it was right at the tip of her tongue. 
Y/n was her best friend and she could always trust her with anything and it would never matter what it was. Yunjin knew that she could trust her with her feelings and heart and tell her those words.
“Y/n, I’m painfully in–”
“I found the keys. I dropped them under one of the benches.”
It made Yunjin flinch when the door to the basketball court flew open, her heart hammering so quickly it was making her nauseous and she felt like fainting. Her blurred vision cleared as it landed on Chaewon who walked out from the court. The hold on her hand disappeared as Y/n looked over her shoulder at the other soccer player who walked towards them. 
Yunjin’s lips parted as did Y/n’s who was about to reply to Chaewon who walked up to them, fixing the duffle bag slung across her chest. Was she supposed to ask Chaewon to leave so she could continue? 
She was right there, she had practically said those words and it was the closest she had ever been. Yunjin was about to grasp her dream, she was so close that she was touching it with the tips of her fingers.
Could she ask Chaewon who wrapped her arm around Y/n’s waist with an even bigger and giddier smile to leave? Yunjin did everything in her power to avoid looking at Y/n, being able to feel the girl’s gaze on her face. It finally settled in her head that Y/n was already wearing a jacket; Chaewon’s jacket. 
“I got the courage and asked Y/n out, so we’re officially dating now.” It made Yunjin let out a breath as she nodded along to the information. She bit her lower lip, digging her teeth into it to prevent her eyes from getting wet. She was doing everything in her power to distract herself to not let herself shed tears.
Yunjin kept her composure during one of the worst moments of her life yet everything on the inside was suffocating her, it was growing around her heart. Yunjin could feel the thorns from the garden dig into the muscle making it bleed out and everything felt lifeless and heavy around her. So close, but her dream slipped right through her fingers.
There was one thing Yunjin couldn’t forget though, not in this moment or any other moment because Y/n always came first. It didn’t matter how much Yunjin was hurting, if she was being swallowed by pain, being torn apart from the inside with a lump in her throat that made it ache.
It didn’t matter if she felt like crying, she could wait just like she had done all these years. The worst that could happen if she waited was that she would drown in misery, but she had grown used to it, hadn’t she?
“That’s—I’m happy for you two.” She would always remember to be happy for Y/n. Y/n’s happiness would forever be Yunjin’s happiness even if the cheerleader's happiness was making her nose prickle and her eyes sting, unable to breathe from the tight grip those thorny stems had on her heart, squeezing.
Her dream had always been to make Y/n happy and dreams meant sacrificing even if it was a piece of herself. There was nothing greater she could sacrifice for Y/n than her heart in the end.
Yunjin glanced over to Y/n at last, feeling pain shoot through her heart and she hugged the jacket closer to her to try and ease it. She looked away from Y/n’s face, those beautiful eyes holding nothing but concern now. 
Yunjin decided that it would be best if she and hopefully Y/n forgot that she even started this conversation. It was the day her world crumbled into dust in the end and she didn’t want to remember that. 
She would rather remember it as the day Y/n found happiness in someone even if it wasn’t Yunjin.
Yunjin wanted to remember how much she loved Y/n and not the moment her heart broke because she loved her. 
“We’re taking my dad's truck. Want a ride or…” Her eyes nervously darted around as they fell on Chaewon who still had a smile on her face. She opened her mouth and searched for words all while feeling everything within her slowly go numb from pain the longer they stood in front of her. 
“Oh, I’m–no, it’s fine, I have my car.” Her voice couldn’t stop trembling and her gaze fell to the floor at last, unable to look Chaewon and especially not Y/n in the eye. It was all crashing down on her and she knew that she would break any second.
“Okay, see you there then, Yunjin.” She nodded her head and stepped aside, stopping by the wall as they walked past her. 
Yunjin bit her lower lip as her breathing picked up and the prickling in her nose was painful enough for the tears to fall at last. The bag on her shoulder slid down and she let it fall to the floor as she leaned against the wall to try and ground herself. She snivelled and wiped at her eyes with the jacket she planned to give to Y/n and her gaze still fell on them as she hugged it closer for comfort because she couldn’t go to Y/n with this anguish.
She watched her friend and best friend walk away, taking a turn and Y/n’s worried eyes met hers for a split second when the girl looked over her shoulder before disappearing. 
There was no holding back as she slid down the wall and pulled her knees to her chest, burying her face into the jacket while hugging them to seek some type of solace and salvation for the pain. Her tears hot tears spilled onto the jacket that she had saved for Y/n, but would now only serve to soak up tears.
If only she had found Yn first. She had because she had found Y/n years ago, but Chaewon was the one to finish first. Yunjin had been stalling all these years and when she finally decided that she was going to get Yn, someone swept the girl away right before her eyes. She had loved Y/n for all those years and now she would have to live with the regret of not telling her right from the start. 
She could silently brew resentment towards Chaewon for sweeping the person she had built dreams around right from under her feet.
Or maybe she should be thankful to Chaewon for saving her from possibly losing her best friend. One she would never be able to replace if her confession went wrong or even if it went right. She was sure that her best friend would stay no matter what because she could trust Y/n. Yet she tried to convince herself that she couldn’t know that and that it had been reasonable to hold back. 
She knew that it hadn’t been, she just wanted to ease the way her heart was beingtormented. 
The worst part wasn’t that she was too late though, but that she would never get to know if Y/n felt the same. If all those gestures were friendly or if they held a deeper meaning like Yunjin’s did. The worst part was that Yunjin would never get to know if they could ever have been more than best friends.
It was all Yunjin’s fault.
masterlist
a/n note; hi if you made it to the end :) thank you for reading/reblogging/leaving a note and appreciating my work. it means so much and motivates me further as i always try my best, hoping you peeps liked it. love you and can't wait to post more for yall <3
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bby-deerling · 7 months
Text
distraction (law x reader nsfw)
law is a dork who has to plan out his rizz in advance. pre-timeskip law in mind. loose sequel to counting coins afab!reader nsfw, mdni, 18+, wc 2.8k
(read this fic by @grandlinedreams while writing this, it greatly influenced the direction i went with this!)
cw: edging, overstim, fingering, oral (fem receiving), piv sex, law likes it when you call him captain
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Time often turns into an illusion when submerged in the dark depths of the sea, but the exhaustion in Law’s body tells him it’s well into the early hours of the morning.  A textbook on diagnostics lay open in his lap, pages left unturned for quite a while as his eyes repeatedly glazed over the words and diagrams, unable to digest any of the information.  Just as he thinks he might be able to regain the slightest bit of focus, he twitches as he feels your thigh move against his again.  It was his own fault—he was the one sitting with his legs spread apart and refusing to budge—nevertheless, he was vexed at how much the slightest touch from you affected him.
You were nowhere near focused either.  Despite having a variety of medicines in progress to write updates on in your lab notebook, your hand hadn’t written a thing in ages, your pen either bouncing on the spine of the notebook or tapping against your bottom lip, unknowingly torturing your captain.  Eyes fixed against the wall as you leaned into the couch, mind adrift, he watched the subtle movements in your chest as you breathed.  Your boiler suit was unzipped and hanging around your waist, and the flimsy yellow crop top you had on left little to Law’s imagination.  No bra, as usual, he noted, trying and failing to tear his eyes away from you.
He had mentally rehearsed his plan an endless amount of times at this point.
In the months since your first meeting at a coin shop, you spent a lot of time working in close proximity with Law, just as he had promised.  Despite a steep initial learning curve, you had proven yourself indispensable to the crew with your inventive synthetic techniques; the medicine cabinets had never been more well stocked.  A self-taught doctor and his makeshift pharmacist—what a match.
Without realizing, he began to rely on your company, whether it was keeping him company in his office during nights like this one, or accompanying him on island trips to execute your now perfect tag team operation to get deals on coins he needed for his collection.  The two of you had crafted an airtight plan together that had yet to fail; once he identified a coin he liked, he would silently give you a signal and switch a coin in your hands with his devil fruit ability so you could go haggle with the shop owner, working them down by displaying your expert knowledge of coin grading, always backing your statements up with references to prevent getting backed into a corner.  Shachi and Penguin had once asked him why he didn’t just save the money and steal the coins with his devil fruit to begin with.
“Where’s the fun in that?” he had said with a smirk.
The real reason was that seeing you use your brilliant mind gave him an intoxicating tingle at the base of his spine.
He showed his appreciation for you and your intelligence in the small, seemingly innocuous touches he would give you from time to time—a squeeze on the shoulder, a pat on the head, often accompanied by verbal praise on your work.  His words often made your cheeks flush bright red, smiling bashfully and sputtering out a “thanks, Captain!”, but he couldn’t help but want to push it further.  Always quiet, humble and so, so sweet, you weren't the type to push boundaries, leaving Law to be the one to nudge the envelope. Slowly and methodically, he increased the frequency of his touches over time to the point where you began to reciprocate back.  More importantly, you were now comfortable enough with him to sit close enough to be rubbing thighs with him on the couch in his office.
He was tired of walking through the plan in his head.  It was time to pull the trigger.
You turn your head towards him as he says your name, startled out of your daydream.
“What’s up Captain?” you ask with a sleepy smile.  His eyes meet yours, intense as ever; the feeling had once been intimidating to you, but you had slowly become accustomed to Law’s steely gaze ripping you apart.
“You’re distracting me.” he says as you try to read his face to no avail.
“I’ll head to bed then,” you say with a yawn, “g’nite Law!” his heart stutters when he hears his name on your lips; he had given you permission to use it in private, but you rarely took the opportunity to use that privilege.
He knew you would take his words as a dismissal—on any other night they would be—and he delights in the surprise on your face when he grabs your wrist and prevents you from leaving the couch.  He stands, tattooed hand still pinning your wrist to the couch, and leans over you, tossing his bucket hat onto the floor.  You’re already putty in his hands as he grabs your chin between his thumb and index finger and tilts your head up, forcing you to meet his gaze.
“I think I’m distracting you too, aren’t I?” he asks, allowing the smallest hint of a smirk to grace his face as he knows he’s finally got you right where he wants you.  “You’ve been spaced out for hours.  Haven’t gotten one bit of work done.”
“Guess I worked past the point of fatigue, Captain.” you reply, corners of your mouth quirked upward. 
Law’s thumb runs across your chin, then grazes your lower lip; he delights in the subtle reaction he gets from you.
“You wanna know what I think?” he whispers, leaning in closer to your face.
“Hmm?” you hum, feeling electricity swirl in your veins as he traces a finger up the bare skin of your side.
“I think you deserve a reprimand for drooling over your Captain all night instead of finishing your notes.” he growls, finally bringing your lips to meet his.  You kiss him back immediately, and he delights in the gasp you make when he slips his tongue in your mouth.  Law presses your wrist further into the couch as it twitches in his grasp; he could feel how desperately you wanted to touch him back, but he was insistent on keeping things on his terms.
He had spent too much time and energy planning this out to lose control and not take his time with you.
With a flick of his wrist, you’re sitting on the edge of his bed and his hand is slowly crawling up your stomach under your sad excuse for a shirt.  Taking a nipple between two of his fingers, he groans as your hips squirm against his.
“You wear this on purpose?” he asks, hand dropping to play with the hemline of your shirt.  “You wearing this to tease your Captain?  To drive me nuts while I’m trying to work?”
You shake your head.  “I didn’t realize I affected you that much, Captain…” you reply, cursing yourself for not being able to banter with him like you usually would when he’s not affecting you this much.
Little did you know, Law was counting on taking advantage of your sheepishness.
He grinds his hips against yours slowly, arm hooked around your waist to make sure you felt every bit of his arousal rub against your damp core.
“Well,” he murmurs in your ear, “hope you can feel it now.”  You let out a shaky breath and slam your lips against his, desperate to feel his tongue against yours again.  He indulges you briefly, before pulling away again, eyes gleaming with mischief that made your face tingle in anticipation. 
“Patience.” he scolds, running his slender, tattooed fingers across your jawbone.  “I’m supposed to be teaching you a lesson, after all.” 
Noticing you squirming your hips to get more friction against him, he steps back, still holding onto your face.  Amused at your frustration at his teasing, he gives you a lopsided smile.  He was a firm believer to sticking to his plans, and he still had to completely ruin you with his mouth and hands before even thinking of fucking you.
When you find yourself pushed back on the bed and Law slowly crawls on top of you, both of you now shirtless, you smirk, thinking he’s caved and was going to give you what you desperately needed; however, unbeknownst to you, you’d only backed right into his next little trap.  Caged beneath him, you were now completely at Law’s mercy, and he meant to draw this out as long as possible.
“You’re always staring at my hands.  Any reason why?” he asks you, fingers slowly roaming across your upper body; his touch is light and careful, not too far gone yet to lose his surgical precision.
Your face flushes, realizing he had caught on to the way you shamelessly stare at his strong, beautiful, inked fingers when you think he’s not looking.  Even the most mundane acts—writing, inspecting coins, sewing up patients, using his devil fruit abilities—were enough to drive you wild, wanting to feel his touch all over you.
You feel silly at overestimating your ability to hide things from your Captain—after all, Law never misses a thing.
“I think you know why, Law.” you say, voice laced with lust and just the slightest hint of frustration at his teasing.  “I want those pretty fingers everywhere.”
“Is that so?” he muses.  “Tell you what—" the pressure behind his touches increases, causing your breath to hitch.  “—I’m going touch you everywhere, and you’re going to tell me where you want it most.”
It starts with a hand cupping the side of your face; you nuzzle into his touch, giving him a smile that melts his cold heart so much that he almost thinks about cracking and giving you what you want.  His touches don’t stay innocent for long, tracing his fingers against your lips again, before experimentally sliding two into your mouth, groaning as you eagerly suck on them, running your tongue along the digits.  A third finger slips in your mouth, causing you to let out a moan that slowly turned into a muffled giggle.  Law gives you a puzzled expression until you point at the three fingers he was using.
E, A, T
“Keep fooling around and it’s going to be another hour before I eat you.” he says with a scowl, though there’s no real bite to it.  His fingers slowly pull out of your mouth, and he wipes your own saliva on the top of your breast.  A shiver runs through your body at the sensation of the cool air in his cabin running across your own spit; this pleases Law as he starts to rub small, gentle circles into your nipple with his thumb.
 “Right there…” you whisper, “Feels so good, Law, don’t stop...”
“Really?  That’s where you want it most?” he teases.  “I suppose I can just quit now then…”
“Law, please… keep going, please…” you huff.  Never in all your months with your Captain had you seen him so incredibly smug.
Despite his threat, D continues to trace circles on your nipple as his other hand dances all over the bottom half of your torso; he’s intent on continuing his teasing, but still desperate to explore your body after months of craving.
The moans you let out once he finally reaches your inner thighs are music to the surgeon’s ears.  “Is it here? This where you want it?” he asks, running A and T upward towards your entrance, and then back down again.  “It seems like it…” he muses, “Unless there’s somewhere else you want me.”
“Please Law, rub my clit…” you whine.  Being the target of Law’s slow, methodical affections was thrilling, but your bud was throbbing with need and you desperately needed release.
He chuckles as he pinches your nipple and complies with your request.  “All you had to do was ask.” he says, you know, like a liar.  His cock twitches in his pants, almost painful by this point, but he was still determined to mess with you just a little bit longer.
So, when he sees you’re nearly about to come, he pulls his hand away.  You groan and ball your hand into a fist, nearly punching the bed in frustration.  “Law…” you whine, head spinning and hips shaking.
“What’s wrong?” he says teasingly, hands exploring your thighs.  “You went quiet, were you trying to focus on getting off?” you nod and give him a strangled mhm in response.
“Maybe you’ll remember how this feels next time you decide to distract your Captain when he’s trying to work.” he whispers lowly, slipping two fingers inside of you effortlessly.
“So wet…” he sighs, admiring the way your body tenses as he curls his fingers upward.  “It’s here isn’t it?  Where you want my fingers the most?” he asks. 
“Mhm!” you moan, unable to string together a coherent sentence as you soaked his tattoos with your arousal.
“Knew it.” he says with a smirk.  “Gonna come for your Captain?”
“Law—” you whine his name, only to let out a strangled moan of frustration as he pulls his fingers out of you and puts them in your mouth, shutting you up while you lick them clean.
“Was that insubordination?” he muses, “And here I was about to let you come.”
“Please, Captain…” you beg when his fingers leave your mouth, frustrated at him for denying you but still compliant with his little game.  “I need you to make me come so bad Captain—”
“How’d it taste?” he asks, purposely ignoring your pleas.
“Tasted good, Captain…” you reply, praying he planned on using his tongue on you next.
He glances down at his watch.  “Hasn’t quite been an hour since your last nonsense, but I’m getting hungry.  Count yourself lucky.” he says, kissing your thighs before latching onto your clit.  You nearly see stars when he laps at your extremely sensitive bud, and feel the warmth grow in your stomach as his fingers find themselves back inside of you; it was all almost too much.  Drowning in pleasure, your head buzzed but he was purposely not letting the wire snap.  You snap your hips erratically against his mouth, desperately chasing your orgasm and praying he wouldn’t stop again.
He doesn’t.
Pure ecstasy overtakes your entire body as you come, intensified by the vibrations of his satisfied chuckle against your clit.  Your orgasm is long, lewd, and messy, and intoxicating to Law as he eagerly laps up your wetness.  It was perfect, you were perfect, splayed out, twitching, and gasping just for him.
“You did so well for me…” he soothes, leaving tender kisses on your thighs as you catch your breath. 
Once you regain your senses, you experimentally run your fingers through his hair, body still too much in shock to sit up properly.  “Felt so good Law… ” you whisper, voice raspy.
When you tell him you need a moment to recover, he nods and crawls up beside you to hold you close, pressing comforting kisses to the back of your head.
“Hope it wasn’t too much…” he says, suddenly worried that he had gone overboard with his teasing.
“You’re perfect, Law,” you assure him as you turn around in his arms and give him a chaste kiss on the lips, “just no more teasing tonight.”
“Promise.” he says, hands running down your side towards your hips.  “Can’t say anything about tomorrow though—"
His breath hitches as you run your fingers along the waistband of his boxers, dipping them under and tracing the skin underneath.  He grabs your wrist and guides your hand to his aching cock.
“No more teasing tonight.” he insists as he slides his boxers off, your hand lazily stroking him.
“Haven’t I earned the right?” you ask with a playful smile as he lines up his cock with your entrance.  Despite how pretty it was, he was determined to wipe that look clean off your face and devour you.
“Shut up and take it.” he groans as he bottoms out inside of you all at once, tired of the back and forth.  He gives you no time to adjust, but his first few strokes are slow.  However, he quickly picks up the pace, drunk on the feeling of finally being inside you.
You cry out from overstimulation as his cock hits your sweet spot over and over again, feeling the seeds of another orgasm blooming.
“Take it for your Captain.  Come for me again.” he orders, gritting his teeth as he resists the urge to cum before you do.  When your walls clench around him, he can’t hold back anymore and spills deep inside of you.
“Law…” you say as he lays on top of you and nuzzles his face into your hair.
“Mhmm…” he responds, starting to feel the tempting pull of sleep wash over him.
“You always gonna be that mean to me in bed?”
“Only when you distract me.”
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sprout-fics · 11 months
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Tag, You're It: Part One
(Poly 141 x F! Reader) 18+
Masterlist
Rating: Explicit, 18+ WordCount: 6.3k Tags: F! Reader, Minors DNI, SoapGhost, Restraints, Chase/Takedown, Hunter/Prey, PiV sex, Oral sex (M receiving), Vaginal fingering, Dirty talk, Consent checks, Spitroasting, MMF, Unprotected sex (Use protection) Warnings: Mild Consensual Non Consent A/N: This chapter is the revised version of the originally posted chapter. To see the original please go here
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It’s Johnny who finds you first, naturally. 
The team spends most of the day making you wait. You had found a hiding spot before sunrise, brought along a small pack of supplies and some things to keep you occupied while you waited for someone to find you, for the chase to truly begin. Yet by mid-morning you were bored, and by noon you were practically groaning in frustration, considering using your phone to drop hints so they would just get on with it.
So you decide to take things into your own hands.
You begin darting between safe zones, checking your corners, making sure to watch your six, eyes keen and trained for threats. This little game of yours had specific zones on base mapped out to avoid at different times during the day, forcing you to adapt to your environment constantly to avoid curious stares from other soldiers and recruits. 
It’s fun, the thrill and anticipation has you feeling a bit like a little kid all over again, giggling into your hands as someone bypasses your hiding spot. Yet the thrill is only doubled by the knowledge of the consequences of you being found.
You realize too late that this new method of yours is exactly what the team has been waiting for.
You get sloppy. You’re looking over your shoulder when you round a corner at the edge of the armory in the light of mid-afternoon, halting mid step when you spot a familiar figure peeking around the opposite side of the building. 
Shit.
You double back quickly, but it’s too late, because the Scot barks a delighted little laugh, calls after you as he gives chase. His footsteps are slow, purposeful, and for a moment you’re reminded of the villains in horror movies that seem to walk so damn slow and seem to inevitably catch up with their victims. It should terrify you, but instead it makes something in your stomach twist with exhilaration.
You manage to draw him to one of the empty supply warehouses at the edge of the base, skidding inside and diving into a smaller hiding spot hidden into the shadows. Yet Soap has clearly seen you at least enter the building, because in the distance you can hear his footsteps echo against the concrete floor, glass breaking under his boots.
“Ohh songbird…”
You feel your heart hammer against the cage of your ribs, hands planted across your face to prevent even a single sound from escaping at the tenor of Johnny’s voice floating through the unused warehouse, sing-song, teasing, hungry.
There’s a light flickering in the aisles of upended crates and empty boxes, and the intermittent brightness manages to catch against the whites of your eyes. The flickering dimness of this space seems to only add to the rapid thump of your heartbeat, muscles coiled in preparation to run, to flee should you be discovered.
“I know you’re in here.” Soap taunts, and you can hear the clear excitement in his voice despite the fact that he’s trying to play into the persona of an enemy- tracking you down, taking you what he wants, only to set you free once more.
He’s close, you realize as his boots thud down the end of the hallway. Too close. You can hear his footsteps from where you press yourself inside the shadows of a doorway, his heavy boots a purposeful, slow echo throughout the empty space. It’s almost like he wants you to know exactly where he is, advertises his presence with every noise. What his strategy is, you aren’t sure, but you’re certain that if he gets any close he’ll find you for sure, claim his prize through the price of your flesh, your pleasure.
“Come out come out, wherever ye are…” He chuckles, and you rise slowly from where you crouch, tip-toe to the door and see the profile of him vanish just beyond the edge of the hallway. It gives you the chance you need, and you quickly but quietly move down the other direction, keeping eyes on where he’s disappeared to. 
Yet then your foot crunches against something fragile and you freeze, hear his pleased little noise of realization a split second before you bolt, shoes hitting the floor harshly as you sprint away from the sound of his pursuit. 
“There you are!” Johnny calls gleefully from behind you, and Christ- how did he close the distance so fast?! You can see the blur of him in the periphery of your gaze, the blue of his favorite shirt a mere blob of color as you race away from him, heart in your throat.
You did promise to not make it easy, after all. 
You skid around the next corner, nearly stumble, and launch yourself forward past a darkened doorway yawning into a pitch black room-
Before you realize your mistake a moment too late.
Skeletal hands reach out, snatch you mid-step and drag you backwards into the broad plane of a chest. You yell from behind the gloved palm covering your mouth, adrenaline spiking in your blood and trying to thrash away from Ghost as he hauls you further into the darkness. 
“Caught you.” He murmurs in your ear as your hands are dragged behind you, back flush with the rigid surface of his front. It sends a jolt of something through you, dark and thrilling as he overwhelms you with his adamantium strength, smears charcoal across the inside of your skull with his mere presence. You thrash in his grip, trying to actually put effort in even though you’ve not once dislodged him in all the time you’ve spent in his hold. Exhilaration squirms breathlessly in your chest, bright and electric with every gasping breath.
It only grows when the zip-ties fasten around your wrists, and you again try to wiggle free with no success. 
“You’re a fast little bugger.” Johnny pants as he catches up, leans on the doorway, his gloved fist planted on the frame. Yet his eyes dance with delight as he witnesses you caught in Ghost’s grasp, dragging his lip between his teeth at the conflict of outrage and desire in your gaze. 
“Hells bells.” The Scotsman breathes, and he steps forward, his hand falling to the noticeable bulge in his pants, which he idly strokes through his pants. You hadn’t even noticed, and realize belatedly that the thrill of the chase must affect him just as much.
Yet then his eyes catch that of Ghost’s behind you and he grins, untamed and starved. 
“Teamwork makes the dream work, eh LT?”
Of course. He chased you here on purpose, pursued you right into a trap. Right into Ghost. Working in tandem as they always do, sharing twice the reward with you, and with each other.
You fuckers.
“Get in here Johnny.” Ghost offers instead to Soap’s quip, and you clamp your thighs together as his hand abruptly descends into your pants, your wetness soaking through his gloved fingertips. You make a little sound of protest, trying to buck his hand away, only for a thick thigh to wedge between your legs and force them open.
“Looks like our pet likes to be chased.” Ghost observes idly, and if you didn’t know him better you’d swear he sounds detached, playing the villain all too well. It only ratchets the excitement inside you higher, and you answer it with a muffled yell that only summons a chuckle from the sergeant before you, now pressing against your front and sandwiching you between the two men. 
“Tough luck, us finding you first.” He tuts, and his hand raises your shirt and presses flat against the softness of your stomach appreciatively, suggestively. “Won’t be much left for Price and Gaz once we’re done with ye, hen.”
You stare defiantly up at him, and it only seems to please Soap, who’s eyes dance bright in the dimness and his fingers rise to tug a nipple under your shirt. It makes you falter for a moment, the sudden sharp sensation making your expression shift into something wanting, a stifled little mewl escaping you at the pleasure that rises inside you between his fingers and Ghost’s digits stroking against your folds. 
“Fuck, we’re going to ruin you.” He promises, and Ghost hums a dark, pleased assent in response. “Fill you up and send you scampering so the others can hunt ye down and have their fun too, aye?”
It’s the reminder that they’ll have their way with you before setting you loose again that has you shift on your toes, accidentally grazing your folds across the pads of Simon’s fingers. A bright trace of pleasure jolts through you as a result, and your eyes flutter for a moment as you try to resist the urge to repeat the motion. It’s hard to not break character while you’re this excited, trying your best to maintain the persona you’ve agreed upon, a little mouse caught in the jaws of a fox, held tight and let go, only to be chased down once more. 
It’s exhilarating, and despite the feigned fear in your eyes you can see your own excitement mirrored in the eyes of the sergeant with his face tilted down to regard you. Even so, you see his eyebrows raise an inch expectantly, waiting for a signal for the two of them to continue this act of theirs, the dangerous hunters who have captured you and will treat you as they see fit. You nod enthusiastically against Ghost’s palm, and the smirk that pulls at Johnny’s lips sets your stomach aflutter.
“Don’t worry hen, we’ll take care of you.” He promises, and gently pulls Ghost’s gloved hand away, tilts your head so his lips descend to meet your own. Teasing, he seizes your bottom lip  between his teeth, sucking it before releasing it with a wet little pop. You make a little sound of protest against his lips, but Soap’s only response is to cradle the back of your head and press you further into him. 
Kissing Johnny is always a touch overwhelming. It feels like you're drowning in him with the utter decadence he pours into you, lips moving against your own, tilting you into him, warm breaths fogging across your face as swallows down your gasps. It’s dizzying in the best ways, always leaves you a little drunk on the haze of him. The temptation of him makes your knees tremble underneath you, but even if you wanted to buckle you can’t, not with him pressing you up against Ghost’s front and moaning against your lips when you offer a little whimper of overwhelmed sensation. You try to suck it back in, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of your noises they obtain through the victory of your capture.
You close your mouth against Johnny as a result, sealing your lips against him a little indignantly at the sounds he’s able to elicit from you just by kissing you. Yet Ghost seems to catch on almost instantaneously, and the chuckle that rumbles up his chest vibrates against your back and sends you shivering between them. You clamp down on the shuddering gasp that threatens your throat, only for Ghost’s to press firmly down on your clit so abruptly it makes you choke.
“Nu uh, none of that.” He admonishes, and his other hand slides up to your face, squeezing your cheeks together and twisting you so you gaze up into his shadowed stare that reeks of devastation. “No need to be quiet, pet. Nobody but us can hear you here, so be as loud as you want.”
“Aye.” Soap agrees, and a broad hand reaches down to your back, dragging himself flat against your front so you’re squished between the muscular forms of the two men. “Can’t wait to hear all those pretty noises, sweetheart.”
You squirm a little between them, feeling too warm, too much suddenly with Soap trapping Ghost’s hand in your panties, pressing you up against the soldier so you can feel a poking hardness against your back. Arousal pools between your legs, and you whimper suddenly, baring your neck to them both when Soap rolls his hips forward experimentally. 
“Soap.” Ghost says then, and you feel him nod, watching as Soap follows his gaze to a crate that’s about waist high in the corner of the room. Soap grins.
It takes him a minute for him to wrangle the crate at an appropriate angle away from the wall, making a point to cheekily pat it beckoningly at you. You don’t have time to roll your eyes though, because Ghost forces you forward, making you trip over your feet before your hips collide against it. 
“Down.” He tells you easily, and there’s a hand pressing at the small of your spine, gently ushering you to bend until your cheek is pressed against the surface. Yet that isn’t enough, because his hands hoist your hips just a little higher so you have to balance on your toes.
They circle you, like sharks in the water, eyeing the prize of your flesh. Touching hands against your waist, your shoulders, tracing the swell of your ass. Wetness pools at your core, warmth spreading across every inch of exposed skin as they gaze down at you like the thing you are- their prey.
You try to raise yourself up off the crate, toes skidding as you seek purchase. It’s for show, the idea that you could escape from them. You know even if you stand, escape past the door it’s only a moment of freedom before one of them catches you once more, forcing you to the ground in defeat. 
Before you can entertain the idea further, Ghost’s broad palm settles low between your shoulder blades, gently pushing you flat against the surface of the crate once more.
“You’re not going anywhere, love.” He warns, voice low with the whisper of a threat that makes you shudder with vivification under his touch. It’s the same tone he uses when you bite at him in bed to get a move on, to stop wasting time. Dark, amused, saying with his tone alone that he’s going to take his time in dismantling you piece by piece until you’re nothing more than a gasping, whining puddle of desire. 
Now it echoes down at you and promises that same ruin, reminds you of your utter helplessness under their spell. “We’re just getting started.”
Behind you, Soap suddenly yanks your pants and underwear down to your knees, and the sudden air against your bare skin is enough for you to gasp, squirm away from the hands that smoothe over your hips. Yet Johnny’s touch is tender, almost reverent, a reminder of his affection for you, that even as you are their prisoner you’re their partner first and foremost, that they’ll keep you safe, wring the pleasure dry from you and then kiss the tears of overstimulation from your eyes after with a murmur of adoration.
It’s encouraging, and even as your heart pounds up your throat in anticipation your voice trembles as you play the part, snapping at them something to the effect of how they’ll never get away with this, to let you go.
You gasp as Soap’s hand cracks down on your ass smartly, making you flinch in surprise. He soothes his hand over the sting, the calloused palm of his hand grazing against the soft flesh there.
“Watch your words, darling.” He croons, sickly sweet. “Otherwise I’m sure LT will find a way to keep your mouth occupied.”
As if that somehow deters you. Instead you lift your gaze up to Ghost once more, summoning wordless defiance in your gaze. Ghost only chuckles, and you watch his other hand rub himself through his pants. The sight alone of his length pushing against his pants is enough for your expression to change, shift into something hungry.
There’s a pause between them, and as you look up you see a look exchanged between them before Soap’s voice speaks, softer and attentive.
“Color?” He asks gently, thumbs pressing into the dip of your flesh just above your ass. 
You breathe in for a moment, consider the stammer of your heartbeat, the race of searing excitement that pulses through your veins in delightful anticipation. 
“Green.” You declare. “About as green as a cadet fresh out of boot camp, Johnny.”
Soap huffs a little pleased laugh, talking over your sprawled form to Ghost. “She has a smart mouth, doesn’t she, LT?”
Ghost makes a little noise of assent, and his hand is unexpectedly sweet, reassuring for a moment as it strokes the edge of your face. You nuzzle into it briefly, flicking your eyes to him as a gentle reassurance. There’s a softness in his gaze as he tilts his head down at you for a moment before the mask of a hunter once more settles across his dark eyes, looking to the Scot behind you.
“We should do something about that, shouldn’t we, Johnny?” He asks darkly, palming himself before that same hand reaches to unfasten his belt. You can feel saliva collect in your mouth as he adjusts, frees himself from his pants. The flushed, thick girth of him has you flick your eyes up to him, pleading silently. Yet the look Ghost offers you is only amused.
“Over.” He states, and you feel Soap seize your hips and lift, twist so you suddenly are on your back, arms pressed under you.
“Oh, much better.” Soap observes as he catches sight of your half-lidded eyes. “Shite, we’re going to have so much fun with ye, pretty girl.”
You squirm a little at that, at being so openly on display for them. With your pants down to your knees, your shirt rucked up past your belly button, you shiver at the little thrill of exposure they give you. 
You watch as Ghost unfastens himself, and allows his cock to spring free with a little exhale of relief. The girth of him trills low in your stomach with the reminder of just how many times you’ve been split on his cock, his hand pressing you into his shoulder, the pillows, the sheets, your teammates…
“Open.” He declares, voice low but firm, a hand cupping under your head and lifting you so the tip of him grazes against your lips before pulling back. Tease.
You jolt when Soap leans over you, watching intently as Ghost strokes himself just above your face, and pushes a single finger inside you. He groans at the warm heat of you, the little flutter of invitation that greets him. It’s enough to startle a wanting little moan from you, legs shifting around his hips wedges between your thighs.
“Steamin’ Jesus.” He hisses, dragging his finger out, only to push it back in. It’s embarrassing how wet you are for them, worked up from the chase, from their words, from their touch alone. 
“The sight of you, hen” Soap breathes, his hand digging into your thigh to keep you from bucking. “Never seen anything prettier in mah life, I swear.”
You shift shyly, a little modest at the utter reverence in the Scot’s voice, skin warming as he gazes down at you. His lip is caught between his teeth, eyes glinting with utter fixation, watching the way you squirm under the intensity of his gaze. That look never fails to set your skin aflame, feeling his eyes trace your exposed flesh almost like he wants to eat you alive.
Before you can wiggle too far off the crate, however, Ghost presses a hand down on your shoulder to keep you in place with a murmur of “Stay. Put.”
“Can’t get away from us.” Johnny taunts playfully, and he steps back to pull your pants down past your ankles, tossing them to a corner of the room and fully baring your entrance to his burning gaze. “Fuck, look at this, LT.” and you whine a little as he swipes his fingers through your folds, holding them aloft so Ghost can inspect the webbed slick between them, glistening in the dim light. 
Ghost hums in appreciation, and your eyes draw back to him as he presses a thumb against the slit of his cock, where a small dribble of precum coats the flushed tip. You can feel your mouth water at the sight, lips parting a half inch in beating anticipation of the weight of him against your tongue. Ghost manages to catch the half-lidded stare you offer him, because you swear you see the fabric of his mask twitch in a smile. 
“Eager.” He observes. a hand cupping under your head and lifting you so the tip of him grazes against your lips. You don’t wait for him to tell you to open, jaw dropping so he can push just the head of him against you before retreating. You make a little noise of frustration at that, try to crane your head up to catch him, but Ghost keeps you in place, a hand wrapped around his cock and stroking himself just out of reach. 
“Use your words, pet.” He encourages. “All you have to do is ask.” 
You feel a flash of indignation at that, brow wrinkling in frustration at the idea that he wants to make you beg. Yet the desire of tasting him thrums low below your belly, and with a little twist of Johnny’s finger inside you the inhibition falls away with a shuddering little moan.
“Please.”
You hear Soap whoosh out a breath from the other side of you, air stolen from his lungs at the need in your voice. There’s a second finger stroking inside you now, and when Soap crooks his fingers you arch up with a little cry of ‘F-fuck, Johhny!’
“That’s it.” Ghost encourages. “Not such a smart mouth now, is there?”
It’s a little mocking, a little teasing, and yet laced with affection. It melts you at the seams, makes you swallow wetly, looking up at Ghost upside down.
“Please.” You beg openly now. “Please Sir, I-I want it. Just- ohh, hmnng-” You teeth your lip as Johnny once more curls his fingers, trying to close your legs for the barest indication of friction, only for the sergeant to plant a firm hand against the soft flesh of your thigh to keep them open.
“Oh, go on LT.” He encourages even as you writhe and whimper on his fingers, trying to force yourself down whilst also trying to rise up towards Ghost’s cock shamelessly. “I think she deserves it.”
Ghost nods with a little pleased huff, purring down at you as he once more presses the tip against your lips. “Good girl.” 
Finally, finally he allows the head of him to push inside your mouth in earnest this time, gently cupping your head as he guides you down his shaft. You want to thank him, but your breath stutters to nothing as Soap scissors his fingers inside you, stretching your entrance until your back bows off the crate, drawing taut with need. 
Your eyes flutter shut as Ghost gently rocks himself forward until at last the tip of him bumps against the back of your throat before pulling back and setting a gently, rocking rhythm past your lips. The precum of him floods across your tongue and you moan, eyes fluttering shut and opening your mouth wider so he can slide deeper.
“If that isnnae the hottest shite I’ve ever seen.” Johnny curses, and he shifts so he grinds the bulge of himself against you through his boxers. “Shame Price and Gaz aren’t here to see.”
“Day’s young.” Ghost remarks, and fuck- the reminder that they plan to just set you loose after this until your caught again has an electric pulse flutter below your stomach, making you clench down on Johnny’s fingers.
“Oh, ye like that?” Johnny breathes, amused. “Ye like being our capture or kill little thing, darlin?”
Yes. Yes- You think feverishly past the size of Ghost’s cock rocking into your mouth in slow, languid thrusts. You want to touch him, want him to reach down to Johnny, to circle your clit. Yet your hands remain fastened behind your back, and the thought of that alone has your legs fall open a little wider. You’re entirely at their mercy, submitting to their touch and whims as they use you as they see fit. You moan around Ghost, the sound vibrating through him and he grunts, holding back a little huff of pleasure before rocking into you a little deeper.
“Get on with it, sergeant.” He hisses at Johnny, and you can hear the strain in his voice now, as deeply aroused as you are. You take a little pleasure in that, that you are the one to summon this in him, 
“Mah pleasure, LT.” Soap returns a little breathlessly, and he pulls himself from his boxers so the weight of him smacks against your thigh. You can hear the schlick of him as he gives himself a few strokes, making a point to let his length drag against your stomach teasingly. The sound of encouragement you make is muffled by the weight of Ghost’s cock on your tongue. The salty, briny taste of him floods across your tongue, precum coating your tongue as he presses further, further, until your nose presses up against his pelvis and the thickness of his cock makes your throat spasm around him. He waits there until Johnny rolls his hips inch by inch, at last pressing his hips flush with yours.
The whine you try to make only squeezes the muscles of your throat down on Simon’s cock and you hear him force air through his nose with a long, low moan dragging you deeper into the hazy temptation of pleasure. It fogs against your senses, the world narrowing down further and further until the only sensations left are your breathless moans as he retreats and the pressing, unrelenting fullness Johnny presses into you.
You hear the sergeant groan, his thumbs pressed into your stomach as he braces himself, relishing the grip of you down onto his cock. There’s a low, purring pressure as he gives an experimental thrust into you, giving you a moment to adjust before setting a pace in earnest. Ghost pulls out from you long enough to hear the cracked moan that makes you throw your head back against his palm cushioning it from the crate. 
“Good girl.” He croons, holding himself and stroking to the same tempo Johnny sets inside you. “Taking him so well, pet.”
You shudder at the praise, nerves glowing brightly, warm with building arousal just as Johnny snaps his hips to yours in a precise, unerring thrust. The girth of him presses a delicious, wanting fullness into you. 
“G-God, Johnny-” You pant, chest rising, face warm, sweat beading at your back. “Fuck, Johnny please, please, I want-”
“I know, darlin, I know.” He coos, fingers digging into your hips for purchase as his hips begin to smack against yours. The drag of him has gasps shivering from your chest, a series of punched out little moans as his reward as he begins to fuck you in earnest. “Look so pretty split on mah cock, shite-”
He groans, and when your eyes flutter to him you see him throw his head back, brow scrunched shut and beading with sweat. 
“Fuck-” He curses, lost in the sensation of your walls gripping down on him, the stretch of you around his cock as you try to drag him deeper, deeper. “Gonna fill you up so good, give Gaz and the captain something to look forward to, aye?”
You choke on a little broken noise at that, at the idea of Gaz and Price getting their hands on you only to find Johnny’s load still dripping between your thighs. It whimpers up your throat, arousal sparking taut through your form and drawing your muscles a little rigid and wanting in response. 
Yet then Ghost has the audacity to hush you, lifting your head and sliding himself back into your mouth once more to muffle any other noises you can offer. He too offers a long, drawn out groan as he resumes his thrusts a little faster than before, relishing your gasping moans around the width of him sliding into you wetly. His other hand braces against your chin, keeping you in place as he pushes just shy of your throat. You curl your tongue against the tip of him and relish the surprised little grunt he offers you in response, hips stuttering for a moment before he collects himself and pushes a touch deeper in response.
“Good girl.” He practically snarls, and his other hand raises to trace the slight rise of his girth in your throat. “Fuck.”
A hand descends to your chest, twisting a nipple through your thin shirt and you jump a little under his touch, clenching down on Johnny’s length buried inside you.
“Shite-” The sergeant moans, a little high in his throat. “Fuckin stranglin’ mah cock, hen, Christ-”
You huff as Ghost gently pulls back from your throat, and make it a point to flex your muscles and clench down on the stretch of Johnny inside you, if only to hear the keen that escapes from him in response. 
It gives him the indication he wants, because soon you feel him thrust a little deeper, the curve of his cock grazing over something pulsing warm and full inside you. The sound you offer just as Simon pulls himself almost entirely out of you is nothing less than obscene, bucking up into him in an effort to repeat the sensation of your limbs going completely weak against the unyielding wash of searing, white-hot desire that coils sharply in your core. 
A thumb smears the tears of pleasure beading in the corner of your eyes as Ghost pauses to take in the sight of you with dark, hungry eyes. You’re splayed on your back, bottom half entirely exposed as Johnny buries himself deeply inside you. The thin tank top you’re wearing bunches around your collarbone, revealing the rise and fall of your chest as you pant, gasping in desperate pleasure. 
“Bleedin’ Christ.” Ghost growls, a hand twisting an exposed nipple again if only to see you jump with a little gasp of “A-ah-!”
“Aye, don’t forget about me.” Johnny teases, as he too speeds his thrusts into you, hands dragging you by your hips to greet the slap of his thighs against yours. It makes a muffled little whimper escape you, partly silenced by Ghost’s cock as it slides wetly over your tongue. You can only force your mouth wider, eyes rolling back as Johnny thrusts into you, each press of his cock filling you with delicious, addictive pleasure. It weakens across your hips, forces you pliant and open between them as they fill you at both ends, rendering you limp to their pleasure, and to yours. 
You can hear every dragging breath from them both as they begin to use you in full, and you float endlessly in pleasure, unable to tether yourself down as something molten coils tighter in your core with every thrust. Whatever words they say next are lost to you, deafened by the series of choked moans that spill around Ghost’s cock, suffocating your chest in a searing, hot push of air that clouds your senses in warm velvet. 
It’s so much, and you try to catch yourself but you can’t, helpless between them as pleasure winds tighter below your belly. The wet gush of you squelches lewdly around Johnny’s length as he thrusts with firm, precise thrusts inside you, and when he lifts a leg to give himself more access he manages to graze over that perfect, glowing nerve that briefly has you seize against them both, endorphins drowning out all other sensation as electricity races up your spine.
“Fuck, fuck-” Johnny swears in response to the broken, whimpering groan you give him, and you feel yourself suddenly twisted so you lay on your side, one ankle slung over his shoulder as his hips stutter against yours in an uneven rythm. Ghost adjusts to the new angle, and with every thrust you can feel him bump against the back of your throat, his voice dropping in a series of low, choked groans as he chases his climax. 
You wish he’d pull back long enough for you to babble senselessly for them, your words an unending mantra of Yes, more, please, good, so good-
You’re lost in them, in the pull of Johnny’s hot, pulsing cock in the wet clutch of your cunt, the ridged veins on the underside of Simon’s cock tracing over your tongue. The marrow of you feels weak against pleasure, surrendering to them twisting you to their whims, reverent and yet merciless, knowing the map of your desire and plucking the threads of you until the stuffing of you spills free into their touch. Fuzzy, muffled by the thrum of blood in your ears and the drum of your heart in your throat.
You’re going to come, you realize. You can feel the inevitability of it winding through your veins, nerves alight with sparkling, glowing desire that burns brighter, hotter between the three of you. It draws closer, closer, and as it does you feel as if you gaze up at a towering wave that threatens to crash over your head. It shadows your senses and you try to climb upwards as it crest so you don’t drown-
Yet then Soap presses a thumb down on your clit and you sob at the sudden intensity of the pleasure right as your orgasm breaks over you, drawing you down into an endless tumult of sensation. Distantly, you can feel your walls spasm around Soap’s cock, your entire body going rigid as you suck in a breath against the urgent swell of pressure that releases from your core and floods through every fiber of your taut muscles. 
You hear Soap whimper.
The sound must do something to Ghost, because suddenly he’s grabbing his sergeant’s shirt and dragging him closer, rucking the mask up to his nose so he can press a sloppy kiss against Soap’s parted, panting lips. 
You feel Soap’s hips stutter as the aftershocks of your orgasm begin to pulse through you, and he presses himself flush with your hips before a silky wet warmth spills deep inside you. The groan that pours from his lips is only swallowed by the lieutenant in front of him as Ghost shifts to pull himself past your lips. 
Simon releases Johnny, and as you heave and gasp for air, shuddering as your orgasm begins to recede, he fists his cock over your face, the shine of your spit glistening against the flushed width of him. He plants a fist next to your head with a cracked moan, bracing as his hips buck forward into his grasp, eyes scrunched shut in pleasure before his cock twitches, cum squirting across your face and fluttered gaze. 
Johnny leans over you, thrusting a few shallow, slow jerks into you as the fluttering pulse of you milks him dry. His chest heaves, arms shuddering with the force of his orgasm as he slowly gathers breath. He braces on his forearms, bent over you, and you can feel the warmth of him press against your stomach as he gasps, hips jerking reflexively. 
“Fuck.” He grits, letting his head drop to the plane of your abdomen for a moment as the three of you gather yourselves. “Fuckin’ beautiful, darlin. Did so well for us.”
“Y’good, sweetheart?” He gasps after a few moments, and it takes a few extra to offer him a nod, head drooping with the sudden dearth of energy your orgasm has left you. You can feel your heart still hammering in your ears, body slumped against the crate under you. 
When Soap pulls himself from you, there’s a little whimper of overstimulation at the drag of him against your walls. Yet he only shushes you gently, kneading little circles into your hip to ground you once more. 
“Shh, you did so good, baby.” He tells you earnestly, voice still a little breathless as he gathers himself. Likewise, Ghost forces breaths through his nose above you, trying to even his breathing and bracing a hand on your shoulder to keep you from flopping onto your back at an uncomfortable angle. When he shifts, it’s to reach for something on his belt. There’s a click as he flicks open his knife, cutting the zip ties from your wrists and freeing you once more. 
“Solid, sergeant?” He inquires gently, and you nod to him. 
“Right as rain, sir.” You offer, and he huffs a little noise of contentment at your response. His hands land on you gently, hauling you upright as Johnny fumbles for your pants tossed forgotten in the corner of the room. You tilt your head back into Ghost’s front appreciatively as Johnny gets them over your ankles the same way they came up. 
“Can you stand?” Ghost asks, and even though you hesitate for a moment you nod. As you rise off the crate both he and Johnny tuck themselves back into order, exchanging a few words over you to check in with each other as well. 
You wobble a little on your legs for a moment, and you can feel the smugness radiate from both of them without even looking. You shoot them a dirty look, but the look Soap gives you in return is full of mischief. 
“Better get a move on.” Ghost intones, and his voice too is tinted with a chuckle. “Gaz and Price are waiting.”
“Aye, LT is right.” Soap drawls. “Day’s still young. Plenty left to play before it’s over.”
You nod, take a single step forward. Yet then you yelp as Johnny’s hand smacks against your ass, making you jump about a foot in the air in surprise. You stumble a few feet before you dart off, heart thrilling at the remainder of the game left just as the sun dips below the horizon.
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ghostybaby000 · 10 days
Text
After Hours | Part 1
Part 2
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Pairing: Simon Ghost Riley x reader
Summary: Working has already made you feel exhausted, not to mention an awful manager making it far worse. You find yourself wanting to quit, that is until a tall masked figure gives you a reason to stay.
Word Count: 1.6k Warnings: 18+, violent theme, guns, yelling, future smut
(Not fully edited, apologies for any inconsistencies!)
It was that time again, 7am. You grab your keys and purse, a coffee and a muffin to go making your way out of your home you head to work. You take the same route as always being sure to say hello to the other workers when you pull into the lot. You gather your items and head inside to the same front desk and chair waiting for you, that had been there the past 2 years without fail. You get yourself situated setting up your notepad for any callers and sip on your coffee relaxing into the chair. 
You sit up to look more professional watching as two larger men walk in the door holding guns.
‘What can I do for you this morning?’ You smile to them, as they had been frequent customers at this smaller gun range for quite some time. They come over to you, pleased as always to see a smiling face, they were still in their uniforms. The gun range was quite close to a military base, making military personal a regular.
‘Good morning Y/N, the regular please.’ You give them a small nod as you check them out and hand them a golfcart key to get around the facility. They gave thanks and make their way outside, being sure to wave goodbye as they rounded the corner. You had worked here for quite some time, as your father had known many people that came to the range- they reached out needing help and you seemed fit. You went into the interview knowing that you didn’t have much knowledge on weapons or guns hoping they would give you a side job. The manager decided that would be best, and let you work up front with your ‘pretty face’ to attract customers. A small part of you took offense but you let it go, because you were excited to be working somewhere close to home and where you knew a few people. 
Working up front you didn’t have to handle any weapons or fix any issues with them either, you simply had to check people out and give them ammunition which you didn’t mind. You began to recognize others and slowly made yourself a good fit in their community, people reaching out with Christmas cards or asking about your wellbeing. One person had never done such a thing, and that was one of the men from the military. He didn’t have a name on his chest and always remained ominously quiet and vigilante, something you noticed quickly. He always came in with 2 or 3 other members in the group but had never showed alone which only making you more curious of him. Today he hadn’t shown, nor had the typical group of other tall strong men. 
You continued to check people out until the day had reached its end, and you were plenty tired ready to get some sleep. You made your way back to your car, packed up your belongings and headed back to your home. You got in the door and settled down making dinner and watching a show before getting to bed. You wake again to the small alarm clock on your bedside table, reaching over to gently turn it off, another day had started. You typically woke at 7 everyday as it made getting up for work easier, you started to make some breakfast and put on coffee, taking in some time to relax. A little later into the afternoon you received a text from a coworker asking if you could cover their shift as she was feeling unwell. You groan out as you fall back against the couch cushions, this was your day off and you just wanted to stay at home and relax. You knew though that they were understaffed and needed help whenever they could get it and that you wouldn’t say no. You gathered your things and headed back to the range, and thought to yourself that at least you got to make a good breakfast. 
On the drive over it dawns on you that you could be doing more from your job, not just working the front desk. You hadn’t ever been offered a promotion by the snobby manager and was quickly shut down the last time you mentioned it to them. You tried to not hold any sort of grudge against people, yet the way the manager spoke to you and the other workers made you feel as if you would quit on the spot after your interactions, although you never had. You stayed because the other workers needed your help, and you needed the income not to mention getting to see people that were close enough to be considered friends. You shook the thoughts from your head as you pulled onto the gravel pathway and parked. Getting inside and settled in a few minutes, you gaze around the shop and found it to be quiet and calm as the mornings tended to be.  
You help customers as the day progresses, making small chit chat being sure to welcome everyone who comes in. The range wasn’t too busy today, only a few people every hour which you enjoyed as it gave you some time to clean the monitors you used and sweep the floor around you. 
You were sweeping up the last pile when you heard your manager begin yelling at someone from the office, with a slam of the door just down the hall. You groaned as you quickly picked up the small dirt pile you had accumulated and put it in the bin, moving to your work station swiftly. The manager now almost screaming at points of his argument, your palms begin to get sweaty and everything in you hopes that a customer doesn’t come in. You stand there nervously as people pass by the front door, you look away in hopes they won’t feel the need to come and say hello.
SLAM the phone had been hung up, making you wince as it did. You tried to act normally and as if you didn’t hear anything when you heard his office door open. You didn’t dare to ask him what it was about knowing that it would only blow up in your face, so you decide to start typing away at the computer. His boots came thudding down the small hallway as you tried to take deep breaths, telling yourself to not look his way. He stops right next to you, still huffing from yelling on the phone.
‘Where’s Catherine?’ He glares at you when you stop typing and start to look over at him, he was sweating from yelling and quite red too. 
‘Well.. she texted me saying-‘
‘I didn’t ask what she texted you- where is she?’ His tone grew more firm as he leaned in closer to you.
‘She said she wasn’t feeling well so I came in to cover for her shift…’ You now had your hands placed on your lap looking between him and down to the floor, afraid of the man that stood in front of you and how he would react.
‘well that’s just GREAT.’ He slams his hands on the counter and begins to pace the small area in front of the desk, then moving them to cover his face. 
‘She should have contacted me. Not you, ME then I could have told her that someone would cover for her- and it wouldn’t of been you.’ He looks at you when he stops pacing. You furrow your brows and look back to the floor.
‘See, you’re going into overtime now- you’re meant to only be part time which means I have to pay more!’ His voice was now booming through the small building while you sat quietly looking down to your hands in your lap or the desk, anything that wasn’t able to yell back at you. 
‘You know what, don’t come in next week. I-I cant afford it now thanks to Catherine.’ You look up now, you couldn’t miss work for a week, you had mortgage due soon and electric bills to pay and you had to buy groceries-
‘I cant miss work that long I have mortgage due this next week…could I come in for just a few hours?’ You regretted saying the words as they left your lips, watching as a smile grew over his face as he walked towards you. Your own eyes began to feel hot and watery but you wouldn’t let yourself cry. 
‘You can’t pay bills? No, I can’t pay bills! Not with people like you going overtime behind my back-you…you can afford to miss work your job isn’t essential around here! I can manage to ring people out for a while and eat a muffin at the same time- You can’t even use a gun properly and you think your fit to work here!?-‘ His tangent quickly cut off making the room feel a whole lot more quiet. The tears welting in your eyes that he couldn’t see had dropped to your pants. The door had opened and the same group of 3 had walked into the building wearing their uniforms, they must have checked in earlier this morning before you’d arrived. He immediately backs away from the counter to simply tapping his thumbs on the desk attempting to act casually. He was even more red now not that the customers could see, as he stared you down.
‘Alright. You lock up, I’m going home.’ He turns to face the customers now. ‘And you gentlemen, we are closing soon but please just ask Y/N for anything you need, have a good night.’ He walks back the office where the door now gently closed as you heard him gathering his things preparing to leave. 
You were sure they had heard the manager through the door, there’s no way they hadn’t. Yet if they had heard, they were acting as if it was the same as any other day- except the one with the mask. He was looking at you for quite some time across the room before the group came up to the desk. 
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b1rds3ye · 9 months
Note
Hi! Hello! I'm not sure if I can make a request, but if I can here's my request!
Can you do an LED mask reader who has a workshop underneath the base that the 141 doesn't know about (except Price, he approved it he just didn't tell the others, he didn't tell Shepherd too)
And when someone breaks something (like a gadget) they tell them to come to their workshop so they can fix it
It's okay if you don't do this! I just really like the idea :)
YES YES YES PLS THIS IS SO CUTE!! (Also PLEASE don't be afraid to invade my askbox, it's always open for brainrot, requests and the such~) Unfortunately I couldn't really incorporate the mask into this, just reader being a lil gremlin I hope that's okay 😭
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The base has bunkers in case of an emergency and evacuation, but there are some passages and dead-ends that have become completely neglected. Price doesn't know how the hell you caught wind of those abandoned rooms but with his authority combined with Laswell's, they manage to allocate a space for you without the knowledge of any stuffy generals like Shepherd.
While it takes some months until anyone else in the 141 is invited to your underground workshop, they do know something is up. One minute you're around and then the next you've disappeared and unreachable (the first few weeks when you cleaned up the bunkers there was absolutely no signal underground). However they had enough faith in you and Price's lack of concern was signal enough to calm down.
It was only when Soap had come back from a mission, he could only groan in despair at his battered hardware. He's normally a clean demolitions expert, but a mission going south quicker than he could blink meant that his typical tools had succumbed to the explosions he set off. Unable to say no to Johnny's pout as he looked around at everyone like a kicked puppy, you eventually give him a reassuring pat on the back.
"See me downstairs, I'll fix it."
... what?
Johnny - as well as Gaz and Ghost who watched the exchange - just stare at you silently as you walk away. Downstairs? You mean the run down evacuation tunnels that are so run down and poorly maintained they're probably more of a death trap than whatever could be up above? But sure enough, you walk in the direction to one of the known entrances to the bunkers and they hastily chase after you (Price also following a little behind because he just knows this is going to be entertaining).
When they find you downstairs, even Price is in awe of what you've done with the place. It's filled with various forms of high-end tech. An impressive blend of both software running automatically on clean screens and gritty hardware that's sprawled across various workbenches and occasionally forgotten on the ground. There's only a singular hanging light at the center of the ceiling, but with a fresh bulb and the ambient light of all your other technology, the place is lit more than enough.
"Bloody hell..." Kyle pulls away from the rest of the 141 and joins you, his eyes following the curves and dips of a nearby piece of machinery he has never seen before but the general shape has him half convinced it's a bloody bomb.
"Like what you see?" You turn to the rest of the task force. You can't stop yourself from straightening your back in pride as the boys were clearly in awe of your handiwork.
"You were hiding this from us?" Simon asks. His voice always has a bite but you could tell that he was just stupefied, his question not just directed to you as he shoots a look to Price who stifles a smug smirk.
"We had some spare space," Price explains. "Thought it could use the renovation."
"Renovation? You rebuilt this from the ground up," Johnny exclaims, taking in the room as if it was a hidden hoard of treasures.
"Say, you'd let us pay you a visit down here, yeah?" Kyle turns back to you, eyes gleaming. The rest of the task force join in their own way. Johnny's nodding enthusiastically, John cocks an eyebrow at you, and even Simon tilts his head in curiosity, waiting for your next words.
"Hm..." you look away, bringing a finger to your chin and tapping it in contemplation. Eventually you let out a huff as you snatch Johnny's broken gear from his hands and start shooing them out. "I'll have to think about it. I'll get back to you in five to seven business days."
Johnny starts animatedly protesting but lets himself be pushed by you out of the door. Kyle laughs while Price hushes them all. Below all the commotion was an underlying understanding and agreement. You don't even need to say it aloud but they'll all certainly be crashing at your underground workshop and they were more than welcome to. In truth, as much as you loved having your private workshop, the only thing that could make it better was entrusting it with the dearest people in your lives.
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Call of Duty Masterlist
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thealtoduck · 1 year
Text
Jason with a ”dumb slut™” boyfriend…
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Jason Todd x Male Reader
Damian Wayne x Male Reader (platonic)
Warnings: Superhero violence, mentioned sex, reader is a weirdo mess but in a kinda ”iconic” way, kidnapping.
Summary: You become an ally to the Batfamily in one of the most unexpected ways…
(A/n: This isn’t based in the Titans universe, it’s average dc universe, i just think Curran Walters is hot.)
(A/n 2: Reader is semi-based on the character Faye from Euphoria (i haven’t watched the show but i’ve seen some of her scenes.)
——
You met Jason at a bar where he was looking to release some stress and anger and you were looking for a hot hook up, both of you got just what you wanted, which led to some of the best sex in both of your lives.
The next day you woke up in Jason’s bed to find he wasn’t there. You pulled on your boxers and your hoodie and left his bedroom only to walk in on Jason talking to Batman and Robin.
To their suprise you didn’t seem faced at all by the scene you only walked over to Jason and said ”Jason, you’ve got any aspirin or something”. ”Yeah, in the cabinet in the bathroom” Jason said casually. You uttered a quick ”Thanks” before walking past Robin (who glared at you) towards the bathroom.
After you entered the Bathroom you heard Batman ask ”So… who was that?”. To which Jason asked him ”Do you really want me to answer that in front of my eleven year old brother?”. To which Robin asked ”Is he a prostitute?”.
When you came back out you answered both questions ”Okay so… Hi my name is Y/n L/n and no, i’m not a prostitute, Jason, do you want me to go make breakfast for you, your brother and Batman, while you discuss whatever the fuck your talking about?”.
”Sure” he said awkwardly. You made breakfast for the four of you. As you sat down with Jason and the two vigilantes around the table, they were discussing some case as if you weren’t there. You didn’t really care either honestly.
Robin then spoke to you suspiciously ”Aren’t you even gonna slightly question Jason’s relations to me or Batman?”. ”No, everyone has like that one relative you know” you started. ”Like my ex, his brother was a drug dealer” you continued casually as the others stared at you.
”I can give you his adress so you can arrest him” you suggested taking a sip of your tea. ”Why do you want us to arrest his brother?” Robin asked. ”Cause the asshole dumped me and took my headphones” you said plainly making Jason chuckle.
After breakfast you got fully dressed and Jason walked you to the door. ”So i know this became kind of a weird hook up but do you like wanna meet again sometime” Jason asked. ”Sure, just write your number here and we’ll schedule something” you said with a smile handing him your phone. Then you left his apartment.
As Jason walked back into the apartment Damian stared distastefully at him and asked ”What place could you have possibly gone to too find that guy?”.
After a few dates you and Jason became an official couple. He revealed he was the Red Hood after you noticed the cuts and bruises he had on one of your dates. He was suprised to see how chill you were to the whole thing.
But you had grown up in the slums of Gotham so that wasn’t the weirdest thing you’ve ever experienced. So you just cleaned his wounds and went on with your business.
You got meet a few more of Batman’s team members when Nightwing, Red Robin and Spoiler came by. You were 97,69% sure Robin had been gossping and telling the Batfam that you were a ”dumb crack whore” or something cause they seemed a bit judgy at first when meeting you.
Though they soon realised you were a very kind person but an odd one. You even came in useful with your knowledge of the slums of Gotham, knowing it’s gangs, dealers and all that.
They eventually invited you in for dinner to meet them out of costume. You were for the first time kind of shocked when Jason drove the two of you to Wayne Manor of all places. When the butler opened the door the only words you could find was ”Cool house”.
The dinner was nice and let you and Jason’s family get to know each other better. Stephanie was your favorite, she seemed to think you were really cool and loved your wild stories.
Damian was still an uptight little ass who seemed to think you were disease ridden streetwalker. Though his opinion of you would soon change…
One time Bruce asked you to pick Damian up from school when Alfred was busy. Though it wasn’t a smooth ride. Damian was whispering how it was beneath him to be around you when a car suddenly rammed yours making it crash.
Luckily you and Damian were fine but you passed out and the men who’s car rammed you kidnapped the two of you. When you woke up you and Damian were tied back to back in chairs. The kidnappers filmed a message to Bruce for ransom money and then left to do business.
”Damian, how are you doing?” you asked. ”I’m tied back to back with you, how do you think?” he said annoyed. This made you snap and say ”Listen here you little cunt, i don’t like you, you don’t like me, but i’m dating your older brother so i at least have to pretend i tolerate you. Now shut up and reach in to my pocket, i have a pocket knife”.
This shut Damian up as he reached in to your pocket and got knife and started cutting the rope.
Once Damian had freed you both from the rope the kidnappers returned and noticed your escape. You swiftly grabbed the pocket knife and shoved Damian behind your back. ”Back off or i’ll stab you in the throat!” you said fiercely as the criminals surrounded you.
”Oh come on cutie, give us the boy and we’ll let you go free” one of the kidnappers tried to offer you. ”No, your not laying a fucking finger on him!” you yelled.
One of guys tried to attack the two of you but you made quick work of him by kicking him in the balls and elbowing him in the throat. ”Anyone else want a go?” you asked the other thugs but as you did both Batman and Red Hood crashed through the windows taking out the criminals.
While they were making quick work of the kidnappers you turned around to Damian. You quicky started checking him over for injuries ”Are you okay? Like not anything from the crash or anything?” you asked him.
Damian was a bit stunned from everything he had just witnessed so he just said ”No… no, i’m fine”. Jason then ran over to you and pulled you into a kiss and then started checking you didn’t have any major wounds.
Before you and Jason left the scene Damian walked over and stopped in front of you and said ”Thank you” with a little bow of his head and then walked away again. ”What did i miss?” Jason questioned confused.
”That’s between me and Damian” you said simply and started walking towards the exit.
After that day if anyone ever made a rude comment about you, Damian would beat the shit out of them.
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sturniozo · 5 months
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Savage Love
Matt Sturniolo x reader Mafia AU
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Summary: After a night out with her friends, Y/n wakes up in a hotel bed with a handsome stranger with no memory of the night before. Pieceing together what she can, she finds the man she woke up with wasn’t just some stranger, but the most powerful man in New York.
A/N: I’m basing all of my mafia knowledge on watching the god father when I was six and that one episode of community with the chicken fingers. Other than that I have no clue how mafia works so this might not be as good as you hope but hey I tried. Tell me if you want me to continue this though! I had fun writing it!
Masterlist
I never go out with my friends and I felt bad about it for a long time. But today, Emma convinced me to go dancing with her at a club in New York. I’ve been in the city many times, as I live just outside of it, in a small apartment above a bookshop. But the city of New York still terrifies me, especially at night. There’s a rumor of a secret organization that controls just about everything in the city, and if you cross the man at the top then you’re done for.
Of course, these are just rumors and haven’t actually been proven. I have nothing to fear, right?
Now I’m sitting in front of Emma’s vanity mirror getting ready as she does my hair.
“Oh you should totally wear it down! Curl it a bit, let it hang over your shoulders. You might hook up tonight, you never know.” Emma teases as she messes with my hair. I finish curling my lashes and then turn to her.
“I don’t think I’ll hook up at all. I’m just not the type.” I shrug and stand up, switching places with Emma as she sits in front of her vanity mirror to do her own makeup.
“Well, I am the type.” She says as she starts with contour. I walk into the bathroom and plug in the curling iron to heat it up.
“You can hook up with any guy you want.” I say to Emma. “Just make sure he wraps it. I don’t want to be an aunt so soon.” I laugh.
Emma and I have been best friends since fourth grade. She’s my polar opposite, although we have the same dreams. We’re both journalists writing for a small newspaper outlet right outside of New York.
Emma’s the type to do things we’re doing now almost every day. She always tells me about all the big parties and exclusive events and venues she’s attended. She’s talk to, and slept with, many of the biggest people in multiple industries to get information for her articles.
I take a different approach. My stories come from the smaller people. The homeless and the struggling. I try to bring attention to the lower class of America.
I bet you can guess whose stories get published. Hence why I live in a small apartment above a bookshop, and Emma has a penthouse.
“God, I know. I can’t handle having a baby now. I’m only 20 for Pete’s sake!” Emma laughs and sets down her makeup brush. She turns to me and says “But I need to sleep with someone big and important tonight. I’m dying here, I haven had a story published in almost two weeks!”
I sigh. Two weeks is nothing. Try five months. I’m basically just a consultant at this point.
Emma turns back to the mirror to finish her makeup. I check the curling iron and it’s nice and hot, so I begin to curl the ends of my hair. Just a little curly at the edge.
Emma gets up from the mirror and starts shutting off lights and electronics around her penthouse. I unplug the curling iron and walk into the front room to put on my shoes and grab my purse. Emma shut off the last light and we walk out of the penthouse. She locks the door and we get into the elevator, going down to the front desk.
Emma has an Uber waiting for us. The great thing about Emma is, no matter how much more she has than me, she always gives and never asks for any in return. It’s always been this way. She’s the sweetest friend I’ve ever had. She’s also the most ruthless journalist I’ve ever met.
We get into the Uber and the driver starts for the city. It’s a long drive, one that me and Emma use to our advantage and try to find out who’s the most important person attending the party.
“Oh my god!” Emma says after a long silence of us just looking at our phones.
“What is it, who will be there?” I ask frantically.
“Matt Sturniolo!”
I look at her, confused. “Who’s that?”
“Who’s that? WHO’S THAT? Matt Sturniolo is only the most powerful guy in New York!”
“That can’t be true, how come I’ve never heard of him?”
“Because you focus on who can help the lower class. He can’t help them, it’s not in his power.”
“Then he doesn’t have much power.”
“Oh, he has power. He has all the power. It’s his rumor that he’s the one who controls all the important somebody’s in New York. I gotta make it my mission to sleep with him. God, I bet he’s good in bed.” She says to herself.
I let out a laugh. “What story do you plan together by sleeping with him?”
“I want to know if the rumor is true, duh!” She laughs and lightly hits my shoulder.
We arrive at the venue. It’s large and the music is blaring. We step out of the car and I lean to Emma and say loudly so she can hear me over the music “The most powerful man in New York is gonna be here?” I laugh. “This doesn’t look like a scene you’d catch someone so important in.”
“Trust me, he’ll be here. Steph said so, and she’s always right!” Emma says back. She takes my hand and drags me through the line, showing the bouncer a VIP pass for both her and I. They let us in and Emma immediately drags me to the bar.
“Two vodka martinis!” She says to the bartender. The bartender nods and begins our drinks. I turn around to look at all the people dancing. Men in half dressed suits grinding on women in the shortest dresses. This is what Emma does every day? I understand the appeal, but the loud music and the flashing lights just aren’t for me.
We get our drinks and Emma takes me to a table to sit down at. “So what do we do now?” I ask.
“We mingle!” She shouts and raises her hands in the air.
The rest of the night that I can still remember was filled with drinking and Emma talking to numerous people, always asking about the guy who’s name I can no longer remember due to my copious consumption of alcohol. The last thing I remember was talking to a tall, handsome, dark haired man with beautiful light blue eyes.
~
I awake with a pounding headache. I raise my head from my pillow and slowly open my eyes, groaning from the pain. I look around and realize, this is not my bedroom. This is not Emma’s bedroom. I have no clue where I am. I scan the room and my eyes fall on a strange man sitting on the couch. I gasp and he looks up at me.
“Good, you’re awake. I was wondering if I’d have to drop you at the emergency room.” He laughs to himself.
I sit up fully in the bed. “Who are you? Where am I?” I ask frantically.
“My names Matt, and-“ I stop him
“Oh my god.”
“It’s fine just-“
“Oh god what happened?”
“Nothing, I-“
“I was drunk!”
“I know, that’s why I-“
“Tell me I didn’t. We didn’t.”
“Would you let me fucking speak?” He yells. “I didn’t fucking touch you, okay? You were dancing on a table and your friend had gone home with some guy so I got you a hotel room. You could barely stand and you just passed out on the bed.” He finishes with a huff.
I stare up at him in shock. “So we didn’t”
“No. We didn’t.” He pauses. “But we could.” He says with a smirk.
A blush appears on my cheeks and my breath shakes “What?” I ask
“Well you’re an attractive girl, I wouldn’t mind it.” He laughs. “But I have a meeting in an hour, so it’ll have to be another time. Want my number while you think about it?” He asks and before I can answer he hands me a card. “I got an Uber waiting for you whenever you’re ready to go home, it’s already paid for. Just do whatever you need to before you leave.” He says, clearly insisting I shower and eat. “And tell the driver where you need to go. Don’t forget to call, doll face.” He says before leaving and closing the door behind him.
I look down at the card he had handed me.
‘Matt Sturniolo.’ With an address and phone number.
Tags: @stargirlsturniololover (the one who came up with the idea for Mafia!Matt) @sturniolobessed
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heesdreamer · 1 year
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HOMES NOT HOME
PAIRING ➩ jay x reader
SUMMARY ➩ recently smitten with the most popular guy on campus, park sunghoon, you’re struck with the rumor that he only likes girls with experience. your only option is to ask your best friend for help.
WARNINGS ➩ smut and uhh i can’t remember honestly lol nothing crazy
WC ➩ 15.7k
AUTHORS NOTE ➩ loosely based and named after this song so listen if you’d like. my mental health has been bad so this isn’t proofread AT ALL and it was written in tiny fragments over the week instead of my normal one sitting so sorry if it’s not consistent or choppy
“I need you to have sex with me.”
You were stating it casually as you crossed through the threshold of your best friends apartment, using your copy of the key to let yourself in and throwing your bag loosely on the couch before attacking him with the direct statement.
He was sitting at his desk and you watched him impatiently as he slowly turned his chair in your direction, pushing his glasses off his nose and onto his head as he stared at you with a bored expression.
“What the hell are you talking about?” He was asking you in his usual steady tone and you let out a groan before approaching him dramatically and dropping to your knees in front of his spinning chair.
TWO HOURS EARLIER
“Wait.. are you serious?” Your head was picking up at the sound of your friends confused voice, falling into a disbelieving laugh that caused you to send her a sharp glare and move your hair out of your face.
“What’s so funny about that?” You were spitting at her in frustration, having just confessed to her your undying crush on a boy at your school. You’d dramatically slammed your head down onto the table afterwards and only lifted it back up when you heard her insulting tone.
“You are so not Sunghoon’s type.” Yuna was shaking her head and casually scrolling through her phone as she broke the news to you, not even bothering to let you down gently or pay you a second of attention.
She wasn’t necessarily trying to be rude, she was simply just used to your antics and impulsive behavior. When you’d approached the table in anguish citing that you were in an unrequited love with a member of the biggest frat on campus, she’d automatically knew you were in one of your erratic moods.
“What’s his type then?” You were piqued with interest and scooting forward in anticipation for her answer, your butt leaving the seat as your elbows slide across the table and you were leaned on top of it.
“I don’t know… girls like him I guess.” She shrugged softly and finally glanced over her glass screen to look at you as she delivered the final blow. “Girls with experience.”
Jay was staring down at you from where he was sat at his chair, his face unchanging as you clutched onto his knee and dramatically retold the story that had led you to making such a ridiculous request when you walked through the door. He was more used to your behavior than anybody else and had the knowledge and experience to not take you seriously.
“And what does this have to do with me exactly?” He was sighing and your mouth parted in disbelief, genuinely not understanding how he wasn’t getting where you were coming from.
“Are you kidding me? Dude we’ve been friends since like… forever. Who else would I do it with?” You were sitting back on the carpet now that you could tell he wasn’t going to budge, leaning back on your palms and still sitting at his feet.
The phrase to describe the duration of your friendship, wasn’t one of your exaggerations. You’d actually been friends for as long as you can remember and the two of you had never been separated since meeting, becoming quickly known as a solid unit and never being seen without the other.
It slowed down as you got older and gained your own personalities and hobbies, surprisingly opposites considering you’d spend all of your developmental years together but it never put much of a hinderance on your friendship. Jay kept you steady and grounded when you were close to bouncing off the walls and you made sure he didn’t rot away in his apartment having no social life.
“Plus, you’ve been with girls haven’t you?” You were asking him slowly and he just stared at you in response, sighing softly when your mouth curled into a knowing smile and you sat back up on your knees.
“Why do you want to be with a douchebag like Park Sunghoon anyways?” He was looking away from you as he said it, looking only slightly flushed at your sitting position before he was diverting his attention back to the laptop on the desk in front of him.
“He’s not that bad. He’s way better than the last few guys.” You were trying to justify your taste but you could see him rolling his eyes, knowing that your standards were extremely low and it didn’t take a lot to be better than your exes.
You were sighing softly and standing up off the floor, making your way across the room and flopping down on his bed with a flair of dramatics. You landed on your stomach but you looked back over your shoulder to see if he was watching you and your antics, smiling softly when you saw that he was, out of the corner of his eye.
“Fine, since you don’t want to do it I’ll just have to find somebody else.” You made sure to keep your voice extra disappointed and dramatic and you heard him let out a small scoff at your exaggeration. “I’ll just ask that Jeongguk guy from the arts department, you know the one who keeps making passes at me every party.”
You glanced back over at him and couldn’t help the laugh that escaped from your lips when you saw the annoyed expression on his face. He was wheeling the chair closer to the bed and sighing again, taking his glasses off of his forehead so he could run his hands through his hair.
“Wouldn’t it be too weird?” He was asking and you were sitting back up in anticipation now that he was asking questions, possibly interested in accepting your proposal. “I mean.. are you even attracted to me?”
Your mouth was falling open slightly as you stared at him in disbelief, leaning forward slightly to see if he was being serious before you were frowning at him. “Are you being serious right now?”
He didn’t say anything and he didn’t need to, knowing that you knew he was always serious, almost painfully so sometimes. He was watching you as you scooted forward so you were closer to the edge of the bed and by default closer to where he had pulled the chair up to, looking into his eyes earnestly as you dropped the worlds most awkward truth bomb on him.
“Jay. You’re like… sexy.” You were telling him in a flat voice and he could tell you were being serious but he couldn’t help the laugh that burst out of him at your sincere tone and the frown that only deepened when he chuckled at you.
“Okay fine, so when would we do this?” He was asking and you gasped with excitement, sitting up fully and throwing yourself onto his lap so you could wrap your arms around him in thanks, squealing slightly when the chair spun around at the sudden collision and nearly tipped the both of you over onto the floor.
You’d left his apartment with the promise to return the next night for your first lessons, thanking him with a big grin and failing to notice the apprehension he had in his eyes when he gave you a half smile back before closing his door.
——
Never in your entire life had you felt nervous to see your bestfriend. Not even after you’d gotten your period for the first time in gym class and everybody had laughed and pointed, not when your parents had first started to talk about divorce and you had to go and stay with him and his mom for a few days and not even when you’d gotten totally dumped right before prom night and showed up at his door in your dress with makeup running down your face.
You’d never been hesitant to raise your hand to knock on his door, cringing after you did so and the foreign noise rang far too loud, remembering suddenly that you had your own key and typically would just let yourself in.
Still, you waited for him to come open the door and you scowled at yourself when you instinctively flattened your hair and tried to lean against the door in a semi seductive way. He was swinging the door open with a raised eyebrow before you had the chance to stand upright and amusement paused over his features as he looked at you.
“Are you trying to rob me or something?” He was asking and you swiftly were reminded of who you were here to see, your shoulders losing tension as you pushed past him into the room.
“I was trying to be sexy dickhead.” You were complaining to him and you tried not to feel nervous again as you sat down on his bed, glancing at him to see him watching you from over by the couch. “So how do we do this?”
He was shrugging softly after a few seconds but still approaching you and also sitting on the bed, a normal distance away from you but for some reason it felt both too close and too far away. You were reminded why you hadn’t lost your virginity yet despite the overwhelming desire to, freezing up and becoming awkward whenever you entered a situation that could potentially lead to it.
“First, you’ve gotta relax dude.” He was sighing and you look over at him with a frown, not surprised that he had immediately clocked your hesitation. “It’s just me.”
This fact did little to help you now that you thought about it. You’d immediately came to him because he was your other half and there was no way you’d ever find somebody you were more comfortable being vulnerable with but you hadn’t considered the fact you’d actually have to have sex with him to have sex with him.
Jay was attractive, something you’ve always known and never bothered to deny despite not outwardly announcing it. You listened bitterly to your other friends gossip and gush about him once you entered high school and he hit puberty, growing rapidly in height and his features sharpening.
It only worsened when he became obsessed with going to the gym after school and wearing clothes that showed off his arms even when it was cold outside.
You were filled with a weird sense of pride that he had chosen to be your best friend even throughout his growing popularity, denying dates with beautiful girls if the two of you already had plans and never paying any mind to the way your friends would throw themselves at him every time you managed to drag him out to parties with you.
Yet you’d never thought of him in that way, despite your moms always talking about how the two of you were destined to be married and how most guys you encountered told you that they’d just assumed Jay was your boyfriend and never bothered to try and flirt with you because of that.
“We should probably kiss each other.” You were suddenly blurting out and his face instinctively scrunched up at the suggestion, causing you to sigh softly and look at him in bewilderment. “We can’t have sex and not kiss, that’s super weird.”
“I know I know.” He was telling you and he was sitting up from where he’d been leaned against the headboard and you flushed now that he was closer to you, feeling weird that his presence was causing that within this specific context.
You’d kissed Jay before, quite a few times but it was never anything more than quick press of your lips or a peck that you immediately recoiled from. He’d actually been your first kiss, surging forward during a spin the bottle game in middle school before anybody else got the chance and you had thanked him with ice cream later that night for saving your virgin lips from one of the creepy older boys eyeing you.
That was just Jay, the most selfless and caring best friend you could ever imagine and you felt lucky every time he was doing you a ridiculous favor at 4am after you’d awaken him from his deep sleep.
Another reason why you hadn’t hesitated in asking him to help you with this although now you were slightly regretting it and not the biggest fan of how quick he was to accept anything you wished for. He was eyeing you curiously and you knew he had sensed your hesitance, making you worried that he would back out under the impression you didn’t actually want this to happen.
You were moving closer to him before he could do so and his eyes widened for a second at your sudden close proximity before his eyes were falling down to your lips and then back up again like he was asking for permission.
You nodded softly but you still weren’t prepared for the way his hand came up to cup the side of your face gently, helping you meet him halfway into a kiss and you tensed up at the contact. He pulled back for a second after barely touching your lips, waiting for you to loosen up and when your shoulders were dropping and you pushed forward again he finally moved more.
The first thing you noticed was that Jay was a good kisser. He was moving against you slowly but you could tell he was taking it easy on you, his thumb swiping along your cheek to keep your anxiety calm and if you didn’t know any better you’d think this wasn’t a big deal at all to him. But you did know better, in fact you knew best, and you could tell he was equally as nervous as you were judging by the way his eyes darted around your face every time he pulled back to make sure it was still okay.
“Can I try more?” He was rasping out to you and your stomach tightened at the sound of his voice. You thought you’d heard all of his voices, having heard him angry and yelling or upset with his voice cracking around words before fading out into a low whisper but you’d never heard it like this before.
You didn’t even think before nodding your head, leaning towards him again in a daze and ignoring the soft laugh he let out as your lips connected once more. He was kissing you the same as before, slow and patient so he didn’t push your limits and you were growing slightly impatient until you felt his tongue swipe across your lower lip.
Your mouth parted in a surprised gasp but he seemed to take this as an invitation, slipping it into your mouth and you squirmed at the feeling of him licking into the kiss. You shifted forward towards him instinctively on the bed and you felt your knee collide with his, ignoring it in favor of pushing your own tongue against his and listening to the small groan that slipped out of his mouth.
“Is it okay?” He was barely pulling back to ask and you were still trying to move closer to him as he spoke, making the words muffled as he ignored your desperation. You were nodding as an answer to him and he seemed pleased by your confirmation before remembering he was meant to be teaching you. “Try sucking on it a little.”
Your eyes widened at his suggestion and you stopped trying to kiss him so you could stare up at him in confusion, watching in amusement as his ears turned slightly red and he looked something close to bashful for suggesting it.
“Does that make you feel good?” You were whispering to him, speaking for the first time since this started and his eyes shot back down to your lips now that they were moving.
“I-I mean.. I think most guys would like it.” He was trying to justify his reasoning for suggesting something so specific but he could tell by your smile that was slowly growing that you were just messing with him, sighing softly before leaning into you again to reconnect the kiss.
Despite you making fun of him, you still were nervous to test out what he had suggested and you were grateful that he started off slow again and didn’t immediately stick his tongue down your throat. He kissed you gently for almost too long and you decided to act before he did, parting his lips slightly and deepening it yourself. He hummed in approval and your face flushed red at the small noise, fighting the urge to retreat and hide your face from him.
You could feel him take a deep breath when you were hesitantly sucking his tongue into your mouth, twisting your head sideways so you could take it deeper and pull back and forth along it.
His hand was shooting to your knee and gripping it tightly at the feeling, giving you a warning to stop that you quickly ignored. You never thought that kissing Jay would feel so good, leave you shuffling forward into his touch on your leg and desperately kissing him continuously to ensure he wouldn’t stop.
He was making another low sound into your mouth and only then did you pull off for a second, breathing heavily and staring at him with hooded eyes. He held your stare for a few seconds before he was looking away suddenly, his expression not giving anything away but you could tell he was starting to overthink about the whole situation.
“Is it too weird?” You were asking him and he glanced over at you at the sound of your breathy voice, eyes shooting down to your swollen lips and then back to his hand that was still on your knee.
He removed it and you weirdly felt a pang of disappointment at the movement, scooting closer to him on the bed and leaning forward slightly into his line of vision so he had no choice but to give his attention to you. His expression was neutral again when he looked at you and you found yourself cursing the fact your bestfriend was so stoic.
“I think we should stop here for the day.” He was telling you in a calm voice and your mouth fell into a pout of disappointment without you even realizing it, only noticing it when his eyes went back to your lips and stayed there when he saw the way they were jutted out.
“We barely even did anything.” You weren’t embarrassed by the childish whine slipping into your tone, knowing perfectly well what typically got Jay to succumb to your wants and you could tell he was weak spirited in his attempt to stop early by the way he sighed softly and continued to stare at you in contemplation.
“What else did you want to do?” His question was making you freeze up, not expecting the control to be handed over to you and you instinctively shrugged as the familiar nerves crept back up.
He quickly picked up on your body language and the fact you didn’t want to be the one in charge of making the decisions, sensing the panic building inside you at his lack of control and he shifted on the bed before sighing once again and shaking his head to himself in disbelief. You watched him as he leaned back up against the headboard, his legs spread out in front of him and your eyes widened slightly when he was patting his lap expectantly.
“You always sit on my lap, don’t overthink it.” He was instructing you when you he saw your facial expression and you nodded softly before you were scooting forward and situating yourself sideways on his lap, directly on top of his thighs and holding onto his shoulders so you didn’t lose your balance.
He was right, you did often sit on his lap even when he groaned and told you to get off and you rarely thought twice about doing the action but you didn’t ever sit in his lap with this weird energy in the room. And you definitely never sat in his lap and leaned down to kiss him again like you were now, moving without realizing but you were grateful that he was quickly kissing you back without any hesitation now and you could feel his hand laying over your own legs to hold your waist and keep you steady.
You were slightly above him in the new position so he had to crane his neck to meet with your lips and you could feel his jaw tensing under where your hand was moving to, holding his face gently and kissing him deeper.
His hand was tightening when you shifted in place uncomfortably and you pulled out of the kiss to glance at him, seeing his awkward expression for just a second before your eyes were falling down to where you were sat against him. You shifted again experimentally and he let out a low groan, squeezing your waist almost painfully on reflex and your lips curled back into a smile.
“Cut it out.” He was squeezing out the words in a wince and you ignored him, shifting your hips over his again and feeling him lift his fingers to swat at your skin where your shirt had ridden up. “I said cut it out dickhead.”
“Can’t you at least pretend we are doing this for real?” You were stopping in your movements to pout down at him, your hand leaving his face and instead brushing through his hair gently. He was watching you with an annoyed expression but you knew it wasn’t sincere. “Try dirty talking to me or something.”
He snorted out a laugh of disbelief and shook his head, denying your request even when your pout deepened and you huffed in disappointment. You were a bit confused within yourself at your own request, not necessarily needing practice in that department but for some reason you wanted to hear his voice more while you were doing this.
“I’m not going to dirty talk.” He was denying even harder, seemingly genuinely flabbergasted that you were asking him to do that and you sighed softly.
“At least say something nice, call me pretty or something.” Your hands were running through his hair as you spoke and he lost his amused expression after a few seconds, staring at you as he processed your words and instinctively leaning closer to your touch.
He was kissing you again then and you were throw off by how familiar it felt, how easy it was for you to immediately move against him like this was something you’d been doing for years. It felt different now that his hands were touching you, squeezing your lower back so you were leaning forward towards his chest and still using your hands in his hair to tilt his head back and give you more access.
“You know you’re pretty.” He was breathing out the words into your mouth and you smiled into the kiss, deepening it again once more before you were pulling back a bit to respond to him.
“So pretty it makes you crazy?” Your voice was teasing again and his eyes flashed with a glint of something you didn’t recognize, watching you in a way that would’ve made you squirm if it was anybody else.
But it wasn’t anybody else, it was him and because it was him you were able to laugh softly before wrapping your arms around his neck and laying your head on his shoulder, grateful when he took the hint that you were done for now and leaned further into the headboard so you could both lay down with you still in his lap.
You tried not to think about the fact you could taste Jay on your lips still or the low noises that were pulled out of him just a few minutes ago, instead just laying there with him and hoping you wouldn’t regret this.
——
After you’d left his apartment you didn’t see Jay for the next two days. It wasn’t extremely rare that you were apart that long but it was right around the amount of time where you’d start to get antsy and miss being in his comforting presence, always finding a natural relaxer in him and his calm personality so you didn’t think twice before you were heading over to his place after your final class for the day.
You were skipping a step at a time as you made your way up to his apartment floor, passing through the outside walkway and the other residents tables and children’s toys with familiarity and ease.
Your fingers were reaching down into your bag in search of your key, adorned on the keychain that contained a polaroid of the two of you from high school also attached. Your search slowed to a stop when you rounded the last corner and saw that his door was already open, eyebrows furrowing at the fact he was standing in the doorway and smiling as he talked to a girl standing against the outside railing.
She was grinning back at him, flicking her hair back over her shoulder and your eyes narrowed at the way she laughed loudly and leaned forward to push against his arm teasingly.
Jay was extremely nice with an overload of manners and gentle acts of kindness but he definitely wasn’t the most social person you knew and you rarely saw him interacting with people outside of you and a few boys he’d met at work. You absolutely didn’t recognize her and you were certain you’d never seen her before, even more so when he was catching sight of you out of the corner of his eye and you saw them widen slightly.
She was noticing that he was distracted and following his line of sight, mouth pursing in confusion when she saw you and your pointed glare.
It made you feel worse that she clearly had no idea who you were, extremely unnerved at the idea of somebody knowing Jay yet never hearing of you and you didn’t care about the weird way your stomach turned when he cleared his throat to bring her attention back towards him.
She glanced over at you once more before looking back at him and your scowl deepened when she automatically was falling into that smile again, flirty and seductive as she titled her head slightly. You watched as he gave her a small wave goodbye after saying something you couldn’t hear and you didn’t bother turning your body when she walked past, leaving her to awkwardly squeeze past you.
Jay was watching the exchange and sighed softly when he saw your dark expression, turning around and heading back into his apartment but leaving the door open so you could follow.
“Who was that?” You were demanding as you stormed through, setting your bag down on the kitchen counter and turning towards where he was situating himself down on the couch.
“New hire at work.” He was explaining in a bored tone and you watched as he looked over his shoulder at you, immediately understanding that you wanted more context and shrugging softly as he continued. “I’m supposed to show her the ropes and she asked to go out for coffee.”
“She walked you home?” You were interjecting and slipping off your shoes, making your way over to the couch and sitting up on your knees next to him once you got over there.
He nodded his head in confirmation, watching you carefully and you frowned softly. Jay was used to your possessiveness when it came to him and sharing his time and energy, it had actually caused a few arguments between the two of you that always ended with you crying and apologizing for your behavior and him telling you it was okay and that he really didn’t mind.
Sometimes you thought he was just saying it to be nice and make you feel better but other times you had a hunch that he actually didn’t mind your clinginess. You’d see a small smirk playing on his face when you stayed close to him at parties or sent sharp stares towards girls who were eyeing him with terrible intentions.
“She was pretty.” You were telling him matter of factly but you were watching him carefully to see how he’d respond and he gave you a knowing look before shaking his head.
“I didn’t realize.” He was responding and you smiled at his attempt at a safe answer, leaning closer into his side and tugging at his sleeve with impatience.
“What are you teaching me today, oh wise one.” He was scrunching up his nose at your choice of title towards him and you could feel him tensing against you at the reminder he was meant to be showing you more things today, only just having finished reeling from kissing earlier in the week.
He wasn’t answering right away so you were sitting up to look at him better, still leaning into him but closer to his face now and in a better position to catch the way his eyes darted down to your lips for a few seconds too long. He was meeting your eyes again and he saw the excitement in them before you were leaning in to kiss him.
You weren’t wasting anytime today considering you’d already pushed past the awkwardness of actually kissing for the first time, throwing your leg over his on the couch so you were straddling his lap and you cut off the small inhale he took at the feeling by licking into his mouth.
His hands were sliding back around to your back, just to rest there as you lowered yourself down on him and leaned fully into the kiss. You weren’t going to admit to him how much you liked kissing him, keeping it a secret within yourself that you almost wished you could just do this for the rest of the night. Just almost though because his hands were squeezing against your waist and you felt a surge of want run through you.
“Can I put you in my mouth?” You were pulling off to whisper into his mouth and his entire body tensed up at your words.
“Jesus christ Y/N.” He was scolding you for your sudden exclamation but you could feel the way his hips twitched in interest underneath your weight. “Warn a guy before you say something like that.”
“It’s important though, isn’t it?” You were muttering to him and ignoring his complaints, circling your hips over him and smiling softly when he let out a low groan at the feeling. He looked slightly pained and conflicted and you almost laughed at him but held it in so he wouldn’t tell you no. “Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it before, I’m a girl after all.”
“I didn’t realize you were a girl until like junior year.” He was teasing back but your frown immediately deepened and you shoved his shoulder in irritation. He laughed softly at your reaction but didn’t say anything else when you rocked your hips again.
“You’ve really never thought about it?” You were asking him again but your tone was different now, breathier and nearly a purr as you hovered your mouth over his. He kissed you softly for just a second before you were pulling slightly out of his reach. “Never once thought about sticking your cock down my throat Jay?”
He cursed under his breath again but this time you could tell he was taking you seriously, his hands tightening continuously around your hips and helping you rock against him. You were letting out a small hiccuped gasp and falling forward slightly onto his chest at the feeling of him pushing up into you, feeling him hard underneath you.
You’d never thought about Jay being hard before and a year ago the idea probably would have made you throw up in your mouth. You were trying to convince yourself that this reaction was purely biological, throbbing now at the feeling of him pressing against you continuously, but you couldn’t stop staring at his hooded eyes and the way his jaw tensed every time you lowered yourself harder onto him.
“Get on your knees then.” He was mumbling out against your lips and you felt a shiver wrack through you at the stern tone he had taken, hearing it hundreds of times before and you mostly never listened to him but your body instinctively was sliding off his lap and hitting the carpet.
You were sat next to his feet with wide and confused eyes, watching him to see what you were supposed to do next and he seemed to snap out of it and remember he was supposed to be showing you how to do it, shaking his head slightly to ground himself before lifting his hips off the couch and undoing his belt with one hand.
You watched him with fascination as you leaned forward to get closer to him, your hands landing on his thighs and feeling the muscle clench under your hands.
He paused for a second and was staring at you long enough for you to start shifting uncomfortably, not being able to read the expression on his face and taking it as a negative considering how weird the situation was.
“You can close your eyes and pretend it’s someone else if you need to.” You were offering the out to him and his eyebrows furrowed at your suggestion, although not saying anything as he slid his pants down his thighs.
Your eyes were dropping to his crotch and they widened slightly, completely forgetting about the weird moment you’d just had and leaning forward again so you could touch him. He swore under his breath when you rubbed your hand over the print in his boxers, muttering something about you warning him again.
“Stop being so tense.” You were telling him as you continued to touch him over the fabric, watching with interest as his stomach clenched and he tongued at his cheek.
“Sorry it’s just… you’re touching my dick dude.” He was wincing out and scrunching his nose at the sentence, causing a small laugh to slip out of you before you were getting serious again and squeezing his length softly.
“This is supposed to be sexy.” Your tone was slightly disappointed and he picked his head up from where it’d fallen back against the couch, looking at you and your dejected expression before his gaze was falling to your hand on top of him.
“Yeah, don’t worry about that.” He was responding in a low tone and you were confused for a second before flushing at the realization he was implying this was attractive to him without any effort.
He wasn’t saying anything again after that and you noticed he was a bit too distracted to actually give you a play by play, something you didn’t mind considering how it might take you out of the moment and make you too nervous to be given specific instructions to follow. You decided to just try your best and hope he would correct you if you hurt him or did anything wrong.
You were leaning forward to put your mouth on him, instinctively sucking softly over his underwear and he let out a loud groan again, his hips kicking forward automatically and you smiled against him at the apology he forced out.
It was making you feel weird that you were so enamored by the faces Jay made when he was feeling good, the way his jaw clenched and the breaths he hissed through his teeth. You were shifting in your kneeling position uncomfortably with the wetness dripping down your thighs.
“Take it out.” You were telling him softly, trying to distract yourself from this realization and he picked his head up again to look at you for a second before nodding swiftly and lifting his hips up off the couch again.
You expected him to be more hesitant like he had been, looking like he was on the verge of calling this whole ordeal off at every move you made, so you were slightly thrown off when his cock was suddenly bare and standing straight right in front of your face. Your eyes widened slightly at the appearance and you could feel him staring down at your face to gauge your reaction.
“This is pretty impressive Jay.” You were remaking before glancing up at him and seeing an amused look pass over his face before he was rolling his eyes at you.
“Yeah.. so maybe we should work on dirty talk.” He was retorting, making fun of your plain style of a compliment.
You were being honest though, genuinely thrown off by his size and length. This was something you’ve definitely thought about just not in such a hands on way, more so out of curiosity to what your quiet friend was packing and wondering the reasoning behind the small smirk he got around his male friends whenever they started arguing over who was bigger.
You didn’t need to wonder anymore, clearly having your answer now and whilst you’d never paid much thought to your best friends dick size, it was undeniable that it was big enough to make your mouth instinctively water.
His hand was gently pushing your hair out of your face as you leaned forward towards his lower half again and your eyes snapped up once more just for a second, faltering slightly at the affectionate look in his eyes as he tucked some loose strands behind your ears and then you were fully moving forward and taking his head into your mouth.
“Oh fuck.” The words were slipping out of his mouth and you could tell he was using a lot of his focus to stop himself from bucking forward into your mouth. “D-don’t worry about fitting it all he’ll like it if you just, fuck, do what you can then use your hands.”
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion for a second at who he was referring to and he noticed, his eyebrow cocking at your expression before you were remembering the whole reason he was letting you do this and your face flushed. You quickly tried to distract him from your mistake, licking up his length softly and feeling relief when his head was falling back in a sharp gasp.
He didn’t say anything else for awhile other than occasionally muttering that you were doing a good job or softly telling you to watch your teeth, his hand in your hair but not tugging, just resting there and keeping it out of your face.
You could tell he was close after not too long of your soft touches and amateurish licks, his hips kicking up off the couch instinctively and his free hand curling into the fabric below it. You were watching him from behind your eyelashes and you felt the urge to draw his attention back to you, give him a reason to look at you while you did this and not lean his head back against the couch.
“Go to a party with me tonight.” You were taking your mouth off of him and freezing in your movements, keeping your hand still where it was wrapped around the base of his length but squeezing it softly.
He was lifting his head up swiftly and glancing down at you with a panicked look, his eyes shooting to your hand around him and then immediately up to your face. His ears turned red when he caught sight of your swollen lips and teary eyes but he didn’t say anything about it and instead just shook his head at you.
“What are you talking about?” He was groaning out, followed by an even louder noise when you were squeezing him again. “Cut that out.”
“Tell me you’ll come with me.” You were leaning forward to suck his head into your mouth slightly, tasting the beginning of his end on your tongue and almost recoiling from the shock of the taste.
You held strong to prove your point, taking him deeper into your mouth and a heat passed through you at the fact he was watching you now, eyes transfixed down on your face and darkening as he watched you try to fit as much of him in your throat as possible. You shifted on your knees again uncomfortably due to the throbbing behind your underwear, resisting the urge to sit yourself down on his foot and take some of the pressure off your core.
He didn’t say anything regarding your request until he was getting close again, sighing when you removed your mouth once more and he realized you weren’t going to let him cum until he agreed to come with you.
“Fuck, fine I’ll go.” He was rushing out and you smiled softly at him, eyes lighting up with excitement and he thought about how familiar the expression was in such a jarring foreign setting.
Any contemplation about your strange situation was gone the second you were taking him back into your mouth, feeling how tight and wet your throat was before you were finally letting him finish. You winced at the feeling of him cumming inside your mouth but the noises he made distracted you from it, watching him become overwhelmed with pleasure that you caused.
You were smiling again even though he wasn’t looking anymore, suddenly feeling a lot better about this.
——
“I can’t believe you actually got him to come out.” You were turning around at the sound of somebody’s voice behind you, two drinks in hand and a raised eyebrow until you saw it was one of the boys from the football team who knew Jay.
“It was just some mild convincing.” You smiled at him, lips curling up and your mind flashed with the memory of how Jay looked sitting above you on the couch.
He hadn’t complained much about having to come, throwing in small statements of annoyance here and there but for the most part he’d been a good sport. You’d expected it to be more awkward around him, your own face flushing with heat when he had arrived at your dorm to pick you up but he was almost overly casual about the entire ordeal and you felt a bit childish for not being able to hold eye contact with him.
“Yeah, I guess he’s got that soft spot for you.” He was responding and shifting in his spot where he was looking out at the crowd. “I’m sure he won’t regret it after tonight.” The boy was chirping back and your own grin fell in confusion at the smirk on his face, following where his eyes were looking and fully frowning when you saw somebody standing next to your friend now.
She looked familiar, maybe a classmate or somebody who worked around campus, but you couldn’t quite place where you had seen her. Maybe this was due to the fact you weren’t at all focused on her face, your eyes locked on her hand that was wrapped around Jay’s wrist as she laughed softly at something he was saying.
He looked just as awkward as he always did but you felt like he was watching her reaction to see if she’d laugh at his comment, whatever it may be, and your eyebrow cocked softly at the fact he wasn’t moving away from her touch at all. You felt stupid when the jock next to you was awkwardly clearing his throat at your sudden silence, glancing over at him and then turning red because your own jealous thoughts regarding your best friend.
You were fully aware you had an issue when it came to being possessive over him but it had never necessarily extended to him interacting with other girls in a flirty way, especially when he genuinely seemed interested. You didn’t typically try to set him up or guide him towards a relationship but you never interfered with a potential one, you certainly never felt such a weird pit in your stomach because of it.
You were making your way back to him without saying another word to the boy beside you, two cups still tightly held in your hand and you saw the girl glance over at you as you approached.
She dropped her hand off of Jay’s arm and you smiled a wide fake grin at her, casually passing him his drink and tilting your head with faux curiosity. You could feel him looking at the side of your face as you did so, feeling your arm brush against his considering how close you had planted yourself to him and you were parting your mouth to speak before you thought about it.
“Are you Jay’s friend?” You were asking her in a friendly voice but you knew she could see the glint in your eye, the way you leaned your body towards Jay as you said his name and tightened your grip around your cup.
“I.. I mean yeah, well not really. I’m just-“ She was trying to explain with a small nervous chuckle, her eyes shooting back and forth between you and him like she expected him to interject and tell you her reason for being there.
“Not really then.” Your second smile was a lot more forced and showcasing a sympathy for her that was mean and unnecessary, slipping off when she was glaring at you slightly before turning to leave and walk around from the two of you.
You moved away from him again with a sigh once she was gone, turning your body to rest your back against the wall and take a sip from your drink. Jay was tense next to you but you didn’t notice until he was looking at you with a flat expression, clearly slightly annoyed by what you had done and you raised an eyebrow at him in question.
“Why did you do that?” He was asking and he was keeping his tone steady like he was genuinely curious but you could tell he was frustrated. You had a feeling that you’d get into an argument if you gave him a wrong answer, shifting uncomfortably and frowning softly.
“You looked uncomfortable.” You were shrugging as the lie slipped through your lips and you glanced at him when he scoffed and pressed himself against the wall next to you, shoulder bumping yours and staying there.
“Did I?” He was retorting and you could tell he knew you were lying, he always did and you felt suddenly embarrassed about how you’d reacted.
You didn’t respond to him but you turned your head to look at him between, something unidentifiable and heavily weighted in your eyes and he watched you carefully before his eyes were flicking down to your lips and then back up. Your interest was piqued at this and you were instinctively leaning closer to him, developing a habit after the last few times but stopping when he was suddenly clearing his throat.
“Park is probably around here somewhere.” He was telling you and his face pulled into a small grimace as he said it, looking away from you and missing the way you froze up slightly at the mention of the boy. “Aren’t you wanting to go find him?”
“I don’t know.” You were shrugging again and he was smiling a bit now which made you flush, knowing he was finding the shift in your mood funny. “I think I need a little more practice right?”
“Yeah?” He was still standing close to you, body slightly leaned forward so he was hovering his face near yours and this time when his eyes dropped to your lips he didn’t retract, just watching you carefully as that familiar but unreadable look crept back up in his eyes.
You didn’t respond to him out loud, not fully trusting yourself to speak but you were nodding your head softly and staring up at him with big eyes, having half a mind to stop yourself from reaching your hand up to hold his arm but a surge of want was running through you considering the way he was looking at you.
It wasn’t like people didn’t already talk about the two of you, having to explain to almost everybody you’d ever met that you weren’t dating or anything remotely close to it and people still didn’t necessarily believe you when you said it so it wouldn’t be the end of the world to touch him here, even this close to each others faces. But you’d been trying to convince them all for years and you’d feel a bit stupid to be caught doing unfriendly things with him now, especially with how new it was to you.
You also needed to remind yourself that you weren’t doing this for fun and there was an end goal here with Sunghoon, a goal that might as well be forfeited the second you started making out with your close male friend at a party he was also attending.
Jay wasn’t making it easy to remember this small fact, clouding your head and sense of judgment the longer he stared down at you and the closer you subconsciously swayed towards his steady frame. Part of you felt like your brain had made a connection, something clicking after he’d touched you for the first time and crossed that line friends typically didn’t.
“Stop looking at me like you want to kiss me.” He was mumbling but he had a small smile on his face, lip curled up as he watched you with amusement and you were sure you frowned at his teasing.
“Why can’t we?” You shifted onto your tiptoes for a second before dropping back down, your nose just barely grazing his but enough for him to follow your face back down and press a quick kiss against you like he couldn’t help himself.
He was immediately pulling away however and you watched him as he squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head softly in denial and glancing over his shoulder for a second like he was making sure nobody was watching the two of you. Your hand was coming up to rest near his ribs, bringing his attention back down to you and you could feel his heart beating under your palm.
“No one’s looking.” You were reasoning, half hurt he cared too much and half thrown off by the fact that you didn’t at all. He didn’t object when you were rocking forward to kiss against his jaw softly, sucking in a small breath when you were swiping your tongue along his warm skin.
“Let me take you home.” His voice was low on your ear and you could feel his hands sliding over your sides to hold your lower back, drifting dangerously low but he was rotating his body so he was hiding you behind him against the wall.
“Can’t be so romantic if we are practicing for the real thing.” You were smiling at him humorlessly but he didn’t seem to find it funny, tensing at the mention of your real sexual encounters being meaningless and futile. “You have to treat me like some random hookup.”
He was watching you for a second to try and see if you were serious before his eyes were drifting away again like he was thinking about something. Eventually, you stared at him as he found his way back to you and moved one of his hands so he could brush your hair back behind your ear and out of your face. “Yeah, you know I can’t do that.”
You didn’t respond to him immediately, faltering slightly at the sincerity in his voice but you didn’t have a chance to think about what he was implying before he was fully kissing you finally. You almost pushed him away to ask for clarification but you quickly forgot about the strange statement when he was slipping his tongue into your mouth, melting against the wall and pushing against him completely.
Kissing him standing up felt different for some reason, you could feel every part of his body flat against yours and the height difference was a lot more evident, making your head spin slightly.
He wasn’t taking it easy on you anymore like he had the last few times, deepening the kiss immediately until your head was completely tilted back and accepting anything he would give you. The feeling of his tongue against yours, mixed with the fact you were in public and able to be seen by anybody sober enough to take a closer look and see who he had against the wall, was sending a heat through your body and you arched closer to him.
His hands were lower than your back now, squeezing and groping you in a way that took your breath away and made your knees so weak you would’ve crumbled to the floor if it wasn’t for him holding you up.
“Jay.” You were panting out into his mouth and his grip tightened at the sound of your breathy voice saying his name, pulling back just enough to allow you to speak. “Need you to touch me, please.”
“Not here baby, we can’t.” He was quickly responding and shaking his head, his hair loosening up slightly and falling over his forehead at the movement. You hoped he didn’t notice the way you practically gasped at the pet name slipping from his mouth so casually, shifting against the wall at his hesitant rejection.
He was looking down at you with want in his eyes so you weren’t too put off by him trying to say you couldn’t, rubbing your hand against his chest and pushing closer again until his lips were touching yours. You didn’t kiss him, just letting him feel you there and you let out a sigh of relief when he was losing his resolve and surging forward to fully press his lips against yours again.
It was addicting to kiss him like this and your hands were twisting in his hair softly, keeping him moving tight against you and giving him no room to change his mind again. You could feel his hands on your body tugging you forward against his hips, your leg going up slightly closer to his waist so he could fully slot in between your legs and nearly suffocate you against the wall.
He wasn’t moving you away even when your hand was slipping back down past his ribs, cupping him through his pants and smiling softly into the kiss when he hissed softly and faltered in his own touching.
“Fuck.” He was mumbling the word into your mouth and you knew you had gotten him, kissing him again even though he wasn’t moving anymore and just recovering from the feeling of your hand on him. “I’m going to go get a cab, let’s go back home.”
This time you didn’t object, liking the way he phrased going back to his apartment to include you and he kissed you one more time before he was stepping away and heading outside to call down a ride. You waited for him against the wall, knowing he’d come back inside to get you once he managed to get one like he always did.
Your hand was coming up to touch your lips, catching your breath and smiling softly as you thought about him and how strange things have been since you asked him to help you out.
It wasn’t an uncomfortable strange at all outside of the way your heart kept fluttering every time he tucked your hair behind your ears and gave you a particularly affectionate look. Jay was always kind and gentle with you so it didn’t phase you that it extended to this type of activity, figuring that there was no other reason for him to be acting like that and trying to ignore the way that thought made your chest tighten.
“You okay?” Your head was picking up swiftly at the sound of a new voice next to you, panicked at the sudden arrival and then completely freezing when you realized who it was. “You look like you’re going to be sick.” Park Sunghoon was watching you curiously, not much concern on his face, despite acknowledging your strange expression, as he took a sip from his cup casually.
“No I-I’m fine.” You were rushing out quickly and moving your fingers away from your mouth, flattening your hair and looking away from him with slightly widened eyes.
“Was that your boyfriend?” He was asking suddenly but his tone was bored, looking from you then back to the crowd like he was only over here to pass time. You froze up at the realization he was referring to Jay, obviously having seen you pressed against the wall only a few minutes ago.
You weren’t sure what to say for a few seconds, knowing that if this was last week your heart would be pounding with excitement due to the fact Park Sunghoon was speaking to you willingly. Adding onto the fact that he had seen you with somebody, now having no reason to believe you were inexperienced if you were boldly making out in the middle of a crowded party.
“No he..” You were trailing off when you noticed Jay coming back inside now, eyes locked on where he had left you and a small smile creeping up on his face when he saw you, until his eyes traveled over to the boy standing next to you. “He isn’t my boyfriend.”
Sunghoon wasn’t saying anything else but you heard him hum softly in acknowledgment before falling silent again, the both of you just standing there as you watched Jay slowly pass back through the crowd and approach the corner you were standing in. He kept his distance for a second, like he was making sure he wasn’t interrupting anything serious before he was standing by your side and clearing his throat.
“Ready to go?” He was asking in a low tone but you could tell his mood had drastically flipped from when he had left, more hesitant and guarded now like he wasn’t sure you’d actually come with him.
To make matters worse, your eyes instinctively went over to Sunghoon to see his reaction and you didn’t miss your best friend unmistakably tensing from the corner of your drifting gaze.
“Hey man, I’m Sunghoon.” He was still smiling softly, either completely oblivious to the weird tension settling over the two of you or simply not caring at all, and you watched as his hand crossed over where you were standing to extend towards your friend. He wasn’t touching you but he was inadvertently covering your body with his and your eyes widened slightly at the sudden close proximity.
“I know.” Jay was simply responding and not saying anything else, not even glancing down towards the hand waiting for him to take and you heard the other boy laugh softly before he was retracting it.
“You go to school here?” He was asking and you couldn’t tell if he was genuinely trying to make conversation or if he was just attempting to figure out what your friends deal was. Either way you tensed up slightly at the mention of Jay attending your school, a sore spot for both of you considering he hadn’t been accepted and yet he still decided to move here with you so you didn’t have to separate.
“He works on campus.” You quickly interjected when you noticed the way Jay’s jaw clenched at the question, not answering him directly but giving him enough information to let him know why he might look familiar or know who Sunghoon was. “We have to get going now.”
Sunghoon was nodding softly but he was carrying a look of amusement that you couldn’t miss and you were positive Jay hadn’t either, most likely catching on to the building instigation the second he had stepped foot back inside.
“I’ll see you around then.” He was slipping out casually as the two of you started to turn to leave, grinning at you when you looked back over your shoulder and hesitantly nodded, hand raising in a small wave before you were feeling Jay’s hand on your back leading you out of the house.
He didn’t say anything as you made your way outside and he remained silent the entire ride back to his apartment, staring out the window and keeping his hands in his lap as he avoided looking at you. You were a bit confused on what exactly he was feeling but you knew for sure that something had shifted once he saw Sunghoon and you weren’t going back home for the same reason anymore.
You sighed softly when he quickly got out of the taxi, standing there with the door open until you had scooted across the leather seats and got out into the night air. He closed it softly after thanking the driver and followed behind you as you made your way up the stairs to his door, the air heavy and so tense you felt like you were suffocating on it.
“Are you not going to talk to me then because I can just head home.” You were remarking once you’d crossed into the apartment, watching him in silence as he took off his jacket and shoes and went to the kitchen to get a drink.
“Is that what you want to do?” He was retorting in a calm tone but you could tell from where you were standing that he was agitated, eyes glinting with irritation as he leaned forward slightly onto the counter but you couldn’t tell if he was upset with you or something else.
“I want to do what you want to do.” You stated plainly and he didn’t respond as you kicked off your shoes, walking past where he was in the kitchen to head towards his sleeping area.
He was watching you as you moved around, the apartment small with an open floor plan but it was homely and you were there often enough to have your own dedicated clothes drawer underneath his. You tried to ignore his gaze on you as you opened the top one instead, pulling out one of his hoodies and glancing at him for a second before you were reaching behind your back to try and unzip your dress.
You heard him sigh softly before he was setting his cup down on the counter, making his way over to you slowly and offering a hand down to you on the bed when you just stared at him in confusion. You let him take your hand in his and he pulled you up softly, turning you around and pushing your hair off your back before he was helping you by pulling the zipper slowly down your back.
Your breath was catching in your throat at the feeling of the fabric loosening around you, his knuckles brushing over your bare skin and his hands stopping just above the curve of your ass.
“We can’t do what I want to do.” You were attempting to turn around to face him at the sound of his soft voice next to your ear but he stopped you by holding tightly onto the middle of your arms.
“Why not?” A small whine had slipped into your voice as you asked the question, so accustomed to him letting you get your way and slightly frustrated that he was being so distant.
You knew it was crossing a line, something that had silently been there for probably longer than you even realized, and you knew you should probably be more hesitant about crossing it but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You’d always been more impulsive than Jay but you knew he had to somewhat feel it too, that strong pull towards each other that was now just multiplying every time he touched you.
It was especially overwhelming now, almost unbearable as he gently lowered the sleeves of your dress off your arms until the top was dangling around your middle. You were completely bare from the waist up now but you didn’t think he could even see you, keeping you in a vulnerable position as you stared forward at the wall.
His hands were brushing against your ribs and for a second you thought he wouldn’t even touch you until you felt him cupping over your chest and groping curiously. Your breath caught in your throat at the feeling of his cold fingers against your warm skin, the rings on his finger brushing against your hardened nipple and you took a stuttered gasp when he squeezed harder.
Jay’s other hand was pressing into your stomach and making sure you were tucked closely against him, feeling him getting harder against you the longer he touched you.
“If it was up to me I’d bend you over right now, just like this.” His voice was low in your ear again and another gasp ran through you when he was slightly tilting you forward, keeping you standing with his arm wrapped around your middle. “I’d tear the rest of your dress off and I’d make sure you never thought about going to Park Sunghoon or any of those other frat assholes again.”
“Then just do it.” You were panting out to him and trying to press yourself closer, feeling your dress slowly slipping down more from the bundled up fabric dangling around your middle. “What’s stopping you?”
He didn’t respond for a while and eventually he stopped touching you, sighing softly and he breath fanned the back of your neck. His hands were soft again now and resting on your hips carefully like he was considering what to do next.
You knew him well enough to know he wasn’t going to fuck you, certainly not like this and you were half positive he wasn’t going to touch you at all. Still, he was better at telling you vulnerable things when you weren’t staring at him so you didn’t move from your position and let him stand there in contemplation.
You were still slightly disappointed and hurt when he was pulling the rest of your dress down your legs, helping you step out from the middle of it, and then reaching down to grab his hoodie you had picked from the drawer and softly pulling it over your head. He finally turned you around once you were covered up, the hoodie coming down just above the middle of your thighs and he moved your hair out from inside the collar.
“Kiss me at least.” You were suddenly saying and grabbing his hands to stop him from moving away from you. His eyes glistened with something but he was letting you place his hands back around you, your own arms snaking up and around his neck in a strangely domestic position.
He didn’t say anything but he fulfilled your request, kissing you softly and pulling you tighter against him.
It was impossible to pretend now that you weren’t changing your mind about the entire thing, no use trying to push how good this felt to the back of your mind. You immediately felt a wave of relief wash over you and you practically melted in his hold, familiar and comfortable in a way that nobody could ever replicate and you knew he had to be feeling something similar if he was this conflicted about having sex with you.
Jay was your rock in the sense he was calculated and careful in almost everything he did and you figured he would’ve had sex with you easily if he had decided there was no risk to your friendship in the aftermath. The risk was there and it was prominent especially now as you leaned into him again, fully accepting it despite his hesitance.
You were squealing softly when he was suddenly lifting you up against him, taking a few steps forward before dropping the both of you on his bed and you giggled into the kiss when he turned your bodies so you’d land on him and he could take the weight of the fall.
The two of you kissed like that for a while longer, almost on autopilot as you moved his mouth against yours and you licked into his mouth with now practiced accuracy. He was warm and familiar underneath you, the hard expanse of his body and muscles flexing and easily supporting you and your constant shifting and movements. You were slightly impressed at how well he contained himself, feeling yourself get worked up in only a few minutes and clinging to him desperately.
Eventually the kissing stopped but you stayed just like that, your entire weight on top of him and your head laying on his chest like you had a hundred times.
“Can you tell me why not now?” Your voice was quiet and hesitant as you asked him the question that was still on your mind, letting a little time pass before you were bringing it up again and feeling relieved when he didn’t immediately tense up.
“Why do you get upset when I talk to other girls?” He was responding instead, not answering you directly yet and you frowned softly even though he couldn’t see it.
“I don’t know I can’t explain it.” You mumbled into his chest and you shrugged the best you could in your position. You were swatting at his side when you heard him let out a small scoff of disbelief, his chest vibrating your face when he started to laugh lightly at your upset reaction. “Don’t laugh at me, I’m serious.”
You were being honest despite the vague answer, never really knowing how to explain the sick feeling that washed over you anytime Jay’s attention drifted to somebody else for too long. Your mom used to tell you that you were just used to always being the star of his show and couldn’t handle it when you were out into the background but you figured that you should know better by now, know that you would never be pushed aside for somebody else.
Maybe that was the issue, the two of you always prioritizing each other over actual relationship or even family at times. You’d had dates that would get awkward at the mention of your best friend and you’ve gotten your fair share of nasty glares from the few girls Jay had actually brought around you.
He let your weak answer slide and in return you didn’t push for an answer about why he wouldn’t just let himself go with you, not saying anything else and listening to his breathing level out as he fell asleep underneath you.
——
“A double date? What the hell does that even mean?” You were rushing to catch up with Yuna, eyebrows furrowed due to the news she had just dropped on you casually before continuing to make her way to the class she was late for. You were practically breaking out into a jog to match her long strides. “Why would Sunghoon tell you that and not me?”
“Did you give him your number?” She was quickly retorting and barely sparing you a glance before she was nodding. “Exactly.”
“So he wants to go on a date with me but with you and Jay too?” You were attempting to confirm what she had said but she was sighing softly like repeated it would be a hinderance, stopping in her fast walking to allow you to catch up as you panted softly. “Do you even like Jay?”
“Are you kidding me Y/N? No I don’t like your pseudo husband.” She was shaking her head and scrunching up her nose like the thought grossed her out, your face flushing slightly at the title she had given him as you pushed your messy hair out of your face.
“I don’t think he’d agree to that.” You were telling her and glancing to the side awkwardly, not really understanding the whole situation or the fact that Sunghoon had somehow managed to apparently be interested in you despite the extremely awkward interaction you’d had a few days ago.
“He already has.” She was retorting quickly before turning on her heel and beginning her speed walking again, leaving you standing there dumbfounded as you tried to process what she had said.
You called out to her to ask for clarification but she didn’t turn around and just waved a dismissive hand at you, eventually disappearing around a buildings corner and you could do nothing but sigh softly.
There was absolutely no way Jay had willingly agreed to hang out with Park Sunghoon, adding on the fact he’d be crashing your date and also having to go out with Yuna, who he’d expressed dislike towards multiple times despite your weak defense for her behavior towards you. Your head was swarming in confusion and you almost pulled your phone out to call him and demand answers when you remembered he was at work.
You frowned softly and started to walk again, heading to the other side of campus where his work building was and trying to understand what scenario would lead to him agreeing to come along and also why he hadn’t told you in advance.
The small entrance bell was ringing out loudly as you passed through the door and you tilted your head to try and see around the counter to check if he was there, smiling softly when he was popping his head up with a surprised look.
“Hey.” He was breathing out when he realized it was you, standing up swiftly and circling around the counter until he was standing in front of you. You tried to ignore how out of character it was that he was greeting you so softly, a hand coming up to cup your elbow gently and look down at you. “You alright? Did you lose your key again?”
You were shaking your head and staring up at him with a slight flush to your face. “No just wanted to come here instead of going home. I hope it’s okay, sorry I didn’t call.”
“Don’t say sorry.” He was quickly interjecting and you didn’t say anything after that, just nodding and glancing at the floor hesitantly. He seemed to take notice of your strange demeanor and you picked your head back up when you heard him sigh softly. “You ran into Yuna didn’t you…”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You were saying instead of directly answering and he looked away from you at the sound of hurt in your voice, still keeping his hand on you despite it tensing.
He didn’t look at you again for a bit but you were almost glad he didn’t, already finding it hard enough to be upset with him when he was just trying to help you. You weren’t sure how to communicate that you didn’t necessarily want help with Sunghoon anymore, knowing he’d stop with the new closeness and routine that you’ve gotten used to other the last two weeks.
“This was the point right?” He was muttering but he seemed hesitant in saying it and a small scoff fell from your lips.
“Right.” You agreed but your tone was bitter and your face had pulled into a grimace, taking a few steps back so his touch fell off of your arms and you were closer to the door again. “Guess I’ll see you tonight then.”
——
Despite absolutely dreading the double date and having no expectations or positive feelings about how it would go, it still somehow managed to be off to a worst start than you could’ve imagined.
Sunghoon had been nearly an hour late to picking you up and hadn’t made any move to get out of his car to greet you, leaving you to wrap your cardigan closer around your shivering frame and round past his hood to his passenger side door. You still planted a smile on your face, trying your best to not make him uncomfortable or show your unenthusiastic mood, but you realized it was pointless considering he was on the phone the entire ride to the restaurant.
He’d greeted you with a half wave before he was cackling about something the person on the other side was saying, not caring as you crossed your arms and zoned out for the entirety of the drive.
You sat in the leather chair after you’d arrived to the restaurant you were meeting the other two at, waiting impatiently and glaring at him from the corner of your eye as he continued his loud conversation for another twenty minutes, parked outside and unmoving. Eventually he was glancing at you and letting out a sigh, announcing to the caller that he would have to call them back.
“Alright, let’s go I’m starving.” He was quickly saying before he was opening his door and leaving the vehicle, leaving you dumbfounded for a few seconds at his lack of manners before you were hopping out and jogging to catch up with him.
You were absolutely fuming by the time you’d gotten inside, not understanding why Sunghoon had bothered arranging this whole entire thing when he clearly wasn’t interested in you. You were used to be outspoken and blunt but you just felt embarrassed about the whole thing and couldn’t bring yourself to confront him while the others were waiting inside.
It got worse once you saw them sitting together although Jay was clearly in the same boat as you, arms crossed and staring blankly at the table in front of him as Yuna chatted animatedly and leaned closer to him to try and show him something on her phone screen.
Sunghoon cleared his throat when the two of you got closer and both of their gazes shot up in your direction, her face curling into a bright flirty smile at the sight of your date. Jay’s eyes widened slightly at the sight of you but then they immediately flickered down to Sunghoon’s hand that was rudely placed on your lower back after he’d complained you were walking too slow.
It could’ve been going worse technically, you and Jay hadn’t spoken a word the entire night but your dates clearly didn’t care, talking to each other nonstop about school and parties they’d attended. The two clearly had a lot in common considering their popularity status and their apparent habit of having terrible manners.
You were sat directly next to Jay and you tried to ignore him for the most part, especially since he was wearing your favorite shirt of his and you could smell his heavy addicting cologne from a seat over.
It wasn’t going too well considering he had been continuously glaring in your direction since you sat down, unrelenting even when the waitress came by and he recited both of your orders with ease. You were fed up with his bad mood, especially since he was the one who had agreed to this entire ordeal, and he was jumping in his seat at the feeling of you sending a sharp kick towards his shin.
Yuna spared him a quick glance at his sudden movement but didn’t stop her rambles and you watched as Jay sighed and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Yours was buzzing only a few seconds later and you glared at him before picking it up and unlocking it.
Jay : What the hell was that for?
Y/N : stop staring at me like that
You watched his face as he read it and you felt slightly flushed when his eyes were meeting yours for a second before going back down to his phone screen and hurriedly typing.
Jay : Stay still
He was putting the device back into his pocket before you had a chance to respond to him and ask what he was talking about, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you stared at him and waited for any type of explanation.
You quickly got it when you were feeling something touching your leg underneath the table, jumping slightly at the sudden contact before your wide eyes were meeting his and seeing the slight warning in them. You were reminded of him message to stay still and you planted yourself firmly despite the urge to squirm at the feeling of his hand gently rubbing your bare knee.
“So Y/N, are you working anywhere right now then?” Sunghoon was suddenly asking you and you liked him a lot less than you already did considering he decided to finally speak to you at the worst possible time.
You cleared your throat softly before shifting in your seat to sit up more, accidentally causing Jay’s hand to move further on your leg until it was gently moving your dress up and resting on your thigh. You expected him to move it back down but he kept it firmly there, squeezing your skin softly as he waited for you to answer.
“Um.. n-no not right now I’m just… going to school.” You were trailing off softly after awkwardly squeezing the sentence out and the table was silent as they looked at your flushed face.
“She doesn’t need to anyways.” Yuna was quickly adding and her mouth was curled into a half sneer, playing with her half finished food as she met your eyes for a split second before continuing. “Jay pays for basically everything for her.”
An awkwardness settled over the table at her extremely bitter tone and you saw Sunghoon’s eyebrows raise in interest, that same amused expression he had at the party returning. Jay’s hand was tightening on your thigh harshly and you made a small noise of surprise before quickly pretending to choke and take a drink of your water.
He didn’t seem to notice he had done it and he immediately was releasing the tight hold and rubbing the skin gently as a silent apology, shifting in his seat when you were swinging your foot to kick at his leg again.
“So you two met on campus then?” Sunghoon was continuing to ask questions despite the fact you were obviously uncomfortable and Jay was glaring daggers in his direction.
“Um no.. we’ve been friends since we were little actually.” You were explaining in a soft voice and another flash of interest with through the boys eyes, glancing between the two of you with a weird excitement printed on his face.
“And you never got together?” He was blurting out, clearly not caring about how blunt and overly personal the question was considering you’d barely spoken outside of small talk in passing. Your mouth was parting in surprise and you glanced over at your friend who was as looking more and more angry as the seconds passed.
“That’s none of your business.” Jay was spitting out and his tone was low and harsh, much different than the one he normally had with you.
Sunghoon didn’t seem deterred at all although even Yuna had finally fallen silent, watching the interaction with a careful expression. “She is my date isn’t she?”
You heard your best friend scoff harshly but he didn’t immediately say anything, glancing over at you like he expected you to interject and when you looked over at him with wide eyes and a continuously parting mouth, his features hardened when he realized you weren’t going to say anything. You didn’t do anything but sit there and search for words as he pushed his chair back and stood up, leaving your skin that was warmed under his hand with a sudden chill.
Sunghoon was laughing softly as Jay left the restaurant and you turned to glare at him in disbelief, not understanding his motive but quickly realizing that he was super amused by the two of you and your confusing dynamic.
It wasn’t hard to understand that he didn’t have feelings for you and only invited you on this date for some entertainment, most likely catching interest at the party when you had awkwardly left with Jay. Your mouth was turning down into a frown and you followed his actions of standing up from your chair, flattening down your dress before turning and following after him.
He was halfway through the parking lot by the time you managed to catch up with him, running the best you could in your uncomfortable heels but thankfully he was slowing down when he heard them clicking on the cement. His back was tensed since he knew it was you but you were still grateful he had stopped for you.
“Where are you going?” Your voice was soft and weak, not necessarily voicing the question you wanted to ask but you just felt the need to say something to fill the silence.
“I can’t do this anymore Y/N.” He was turning around as he spoke and he sounded genuinely tired, staring down at you with hooded eyes and a hurt expression on his face. You watched him with confusion and he sighed softly before tossing a hand up in frustration. “I can’t be around you pretending like this, it’s killing me.”
“We don’t have to do it anymore then.” You were quickly telling him although it hurt you to say and you were taking a step closer to try and reassure him, stiffening up when he was automatically backing away from you.
“That’s not what I mean and you know it.” He was saying and he sounded certain but you were confused on what he meant, eyebrows furrowing which only seemed to upset him further. “This isn’t the pretending Y/N, being with you like we’ve been doing for the last few weeks. That isn’t the hard part, how can’t you get that?”
You were slightly understanding what he was implying now but it made no sense to you, a sick feeling washing over you at the fact he was seemingly saying he had been feeling the same way you had been. He was sighing again at your lack of a response but he didn’t say anything, looking to the side where his car was parked before he was glancing at you again.
“How would I get that?” You were countering with more force than you meant to let into your tone, slightly frustrated that he was placing blame solely on you for not realizing his feelings about this whole situation.
“Are you kidding me?” He was laughing but it was completely humorless and angry. Not necessarily at you but definitely at the situation the two of you had gotten yourself into. “I moved down here to be with you dude. I work a shitty job on the campus of a school I was too fucking dumb to get into, stuck in a tiny apartment with neighbors who have no volume control.”
He was moving his hands around a lot as he spoke, clearly upset and releasing thoughts he’d been keeping bottled up for longer than you realized. Your eyes were stinging with tears as you listened to him rant, bringing up the fact you hadn’t gotten into the same school, something you knew had been bugging him for some time.
You never thought less of him for not getting accepted and you had hoped he didn’t either, not ever wanting to talk about it after he decided to just not apply anywhere else. You figured he had come with you so you wouldn’t be lonely but your heart cracked a little at the implication he had solely came with because it was him that didn’t want to be without you for a long time.
Your nose scrunched up at the negative way he talked about his apartment, the disgust in his voice directed towards the same place that brought you the most comfort in the world.
It was definitely small and you’d spend countless nights banging on the walls to try and get the next door neighbors to quiet down but it was always a happy memory for you, giggling with him as you laid flat on your backs and kicked against the drywall repeatedly. You thought about waking up in his small bed together, tugging the blankets more over yourself and listening to his soft grunts of complaints.
Teaching you to cook and not getting upset when you continuously burnt eggs, smiling at you when he’d get home from a long shift and you’d already be there cleaning up the dishes and counters. It was your favorite place to be and he was your favorite person to see and your heart broke thinking that he’d been having a hard time.
“You still don’t get it.” He was shaking his head and pulling you out of your thoughts, figure slightly wavy through your teary eyes and you took another step closer.
“I think I do Jay but how can I if you’ve never said it.” You were telling him softly but your voice was cracking around the words, at least relieved he wasn’t backing up from your approaching frame anymore considering that would’ve caused you to break down.
“How could I say something like that?” He was asking sincerely and he looked down at you finally, holding your gaze and giving you a tiny sad smile. His eyes were wet too and you briefly thought about the fact you hadn’t seen him cry in a very long time.
It was quiet for a few seconds and then you were gently reaching out to him, feeling a wave of relief when he allowed you to hold onto his arm softly and squeeze it. He let out a small shaky breath at the feeling of you touching him and it gave you the drive you needed to be able to say what you were thinking about so heavily for so long.
“You asked me why I don’t like it when you talk to other girls and I said I don’t know, but I do know and I have known for a long time.” You were watching him intensely as you spoke clearly, a faux confidence in your voice that didn’t match the way your heart was beating painfully in your chest. “I don’t really know when I knew or if I maybe just realized when you kissed me.”
His eyes were flashing with something and you laughed softly as nerves overwhelmed you, pausing in your rambles and you were sure he could feel the way your hands were shaking against him because he was placing one of his over yours that were gripping onto his arm, softly rubbing them and giving you just enough strength to push through the hardest part.
“I’m inlove with you Jay and I want you around me for a long time. I need you around me I think and it’s scary but I’d spend the rest of our lives in that tiny little apartment.” You were finishing off as a small sob broke through you but you kept a smile on your face, watching him and shaking your head softly.
He wasn’t saying anything at first and you were feeling a sudden sense of dread, not really thinking about what would happen if he didn’t feel the same way about you and you had gotten it all wrong.
You weren’t able to hold that doubt for long considering he was moving his hand off of yours suddenly to cup your face, pulling you in for a kiss before you were even able to register his movements. You were gasping against him and then immediately turning to putty in his hold, a wave of warmth and reassurance washing over you despite the fact he hadn’t said it yet back.
It wasn’t something he necessarily needed to voice considering he’d spent your entire lives showing it and taking care of you more than anybody ever had, constantly being so gentle and reliable even when you weren’t always the easiest person to handle.
You still felt better when he was pulling out of the kiss to look down at you, still holding onto your face as you both laughed softly in disbelief and relief. He was leaning forward to place his forehead against yours and you were clutching onto his arms desperately despite knowing he’d never go anywhere if you let him go.
“I think I’ve loved you since I met you.” He was saying it in one breath and you immediately noticed the way his shoulders lost all tension in relief, speaking the words that had been running through his mind on loop every time you smiled at him or wrapped your arms casually around him in a hug.
You had no real way of knowing how insane you constantly made him feel, always being the most beautiful person in the room and never giving him the slightest chance of caring about anybody else. You’d constantly complain to him that he needed a better social life for a chance at romance and his heart would turn uncomfortably at the thought of being with anybody but you.
Nobody set his skin on fire like your touches did and the two of you moved perfectly in sync together, easily bantering and moving around each other in a gentle dance that only came with time and understanding.
You were his better half and he’d always casually introduced you as that, laughing softly as you would hit his arm and scold him for trying to flatter you while not having the slightest idea that he meant every single word of it.
“Take me home then?” You were whispering out finally, forehead still against his and feeling the way his thumbs came up instinctively to wipe the tears off your red cheeks.
He was smiling and nodding at you, no hesitance in accepting whatever request you made to him, the same thing that had gotten you into this situation in the first place. He’d immediately regretted it when he first finally kissed you because he’d realized he’d never be able to go without you that close again, feeling sick every time he remembered it wasn’t real for you.
The worry and disbelief that had been building up was finally crumbling down for both of you as you stood there holding each other for a bit longer, eventually taking your hand in his as he lead you to his car and took you back to your home.
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lovebugism · 10 months
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Bugggggg, my dear! I need to know what happens when Eddie climbs through that window with Gareth sisterrr!!!
thanks for being so patient while i wrote a part two! hope you like it!! — the one where eddie sneaks into his best friend's step-sister's bedroom, stealthy like a ninja tw for allusions to smut (2.7k, find part one here)
bug's summer fic fest ♡
Eddie shows up at your house at eleven, even though you told him to be there at midnight.
He couldn’t wait the extra hour to see you. It felt like it was eons away — a whole lot more than just sixty minutes. After dealing all day in ninety-degree heat, he was aching to rest his tired bones next to yours. His thoughts of you weren’t even sinful — which isn’t something he can say very often. 
The way he yearned for you was innocent, palpable, and suffocating. Like honey or the summer sun. It was something sticky and sweet, nostalgic and boyish.
It’s why he parks three houses down, just like you asked him to, and why he scales the trellis of your bedroom window with all the finesse of a dog on roller skates. 
You left your light on for him like you promised— a glowing yellow let he climbs towards. Your window is open, too. Eddie gets all twisted up in your lace curtains when he finally reaches the second story. His ankle gets caught in the pane. He catches himself before he tumbles to the ground entirely, his palms melting into your carpeted floor.
Half-stuck in your window, Eddie’s wide eyes flit around your bedroom. You’re nowhere to be found, but some upbeat pop song plays on the radio on the dresser beside a shut door — the bathroom, maybe. 
“You are the dancing, young and sweet, only seventeen!” Your voice is muffled as you sing along to the words. You sound like sunshine in the middle of a cool summer night.
With the knowledge that he didn’t make a complete fool of himself in front of you or anybody else, he crawls the rest of the way in and stands in the middle of your pretty pink bedroom. 
It’s as girly as you are, filled with everything grownups convince children they’re supposed to hate when they get older — teddy bears, dolls, and other heart-sharped trinkets. Everything’s frilly and pale pink, delicate like you.
The door clicks open. Eddie’s eyes widen when you and a warm steam comes spilling out. The smell of roses and vanilla twirls out just like you do. Clad only in a too big Fleetwood Mac t-shirt, and with wet hair dripping down your back, you sing into your hair brush.
“You can dance! You can jive! Having the time of your life—” You cut yourself off when you realize Eddie’s standing in the middle of your bedroom. You don’t scream, but you feel sort of like your heart has stopped as your hand flies to your mouth. “Oh, my god!”
“Sorry!” the boy apologizes through his laughter, palms spread out ahead of him in surrender. “I’m— I’m sorry. I should’ve… I should’ve knocked.”
You’re still a bit too frightened to laugh at his joke. You bring your palm from your mouth to your racing heart and exhale a sigh of relief. “You weren’t supposed to be here until midnight.”
Eddie beams when you rush to turn down your music, only because you aren’t looking at him to see it. Instead of telling you he couldn’t wait that long to see you, he jokes, “Oh, is it not twelve yet? My watch must be an hour fast.”
“Or maybe you just don’t know how to tell time, Eighty-Six,” you tease with a bright grin.
Eddie’s brows raise beneath his curly bangs. His own smile curls at his pink lips at your harsh joke. It comes from a too-pretty face for him to take offense to it. 
He wraps you in his arms when you walk over to him. His palms spread along your hips as your arms wrap around his neck. He tries not to shiver when your fingers trace the wild curls at the base of his neck.
“Well, that’s not very nice of you, now is it, princess?” he asks in the same sarcastic tone.
“Or maybe you just really wanted to see me?” you follow up with an innocuous shrug and a hopeful glint in your eye.
Eddie scoffs. “That is very presumptuous of you, sweetheart.”
“It’s only presumptuous if I’m wrong— which I know I’m not, so…”
“You sound very sure of yourself,” he quips with narrowed eyes.
You meet his look with a grin. “‘Cause I can read you like a book, Eddie Munson.”
You rise on the tips of your toes, pressing yourself further into him with the intent to taste his lips. He stops you before you get the chance. 
His chin jerks back, though it’s not exactly intentional. With your chest more intently pushed against his own, he can feel much more of you than he’s used to. Your stiff nipples are crushed between both of your bodies. His brain short-circuits accordingly.
Eddie covers it up with a mischievous smile. “No bra?”
“It’s your fault,” you pout, not swayed by his teasing.
“Is it?”
You nod, wide-eyed like you’re all innocent. “You got here too early. I was gonna put on makeup and a pretty dress for you and everything…”
Though Eddie’s heart swells at the thought, he shakes his head in response. The bridge of his nose scrunches as his hands rise from your waist. His palms are warm along your blushing cheeks. 
“I like you better like this,” he confesses quietly.
“Really?” you ask with pinched brows.
He shrugs. “Yeah. I mean, I love your glitter and skirts and your… everything, but… I don’t know. I think you look pretty like this, too.”
Your chest warms so suddenly, you think your heart might be melting. 
No one’s ever said anything like that to you before — not that you weren’t pretty, but that you were still pretty even when you aren’t trying to be. 
A heavy feeling swells behind your ribcage that makes you feel like crying.
“You don’t have to be so nice to me, you know?” you joke with a halfhearted laugh. “I’m already obsessed with you.”
His own chuckle spills from his pink mouth. “I’m being serious.”
“If you wanted a blowjob, you coulda just said—” 
Your grin is wide and mischievous, full of candor, as your hands leave his neck and fall to the silver buckle of his leather belt. The giddy smile fades when his fingers curl around your wrists to stop you. 
Eddie’s eyes fly open wide. His mouth falls softly agape, as though surprised by your forwardness, though he knows he should be used to it now. He stammers. “We don’t— I mean, we don’t have to—”
You step back like you’ve burned him. Your features flood in a similar horror. “Oh, sorry— I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have assumed—”
“It’s okay,” Eddie assures with a soft laugh to quell your worry. He chases you when you part from him and takes your wringing hands in his larger ones. “I know most guys sneaking into a girl’s room usually want one thing, so… It’s kinda my fault, actually.”
“And you don’t… You don’t want that?” you question with a furrow to your brow.
“No, I do! Trust me. I do, I just…” he trails off with a sigh. His chin tilts to his chest as he peers at you from beneath his lashes. There’s a twinkle in the deep chocolate of his eye. “I’d rather it be more romantic than, you know— than this.”
His hand motions somewhere beside him. You figure he’s referring to the scuff marks his sneakers left on your lace curtains.
You smile sheepishly as his wide palms engulf your own. “I wanna take things slow with you and… treat you right and everything…”
“That is very old-fashioned of you, Eddie Munson,” you croon lowly as you lean back into him. Your hands entwine when your chests push together all over again. His long fingers slot between yours as the tip of your nose traces the bridge of his.
“Maybe…” he hums in a sigh, the breath of it fanning over your chin. It smells like cigarettes and spearmint gum. “But also, if I’m gonna fuck you, I don’t want us to have to be quiet, you know?”
His eyes narrow with a mischievous squint when you part from him. You meet his smirk with a beam. 
“Like I said… Such a gentleman.”
You go in for a kiss, and this time he lets you. 
It’s much deeper than the one you shared behind the 7/11, but still just as pure. It’s full of honey and sunshine — your floral perfume and his muskier cologne — your candied breath and his nicotine-coated one. It’s filled with the innocence leftover from your lingering girlhood and his boyhood, both of which you’ve yet to grow out of.
It makes his mouth taste that much sweeter. It makes his lips that much softer. It makes you want to kiss the breath from his lungs, and it makes him want to swallow you whole.
—————
A breeze billows through the open window you forgot to close the night before. 
It smells like freshly cut grass and early morning dew and vaguely like teenage boy. It feels like silk as it rolls across your bed, though it’s cold enough to make you rouse. 
You feel the weight of Eddie Munson on your ribcage before you open your eyes to see him.
Your gaze is slow to clear, heavy with honey. You find the wild-haired boy snoozing on your stomach — long lashes brushing the apples of his cheeks, face smushed into your t-shirt, pink mouth agape to exhale soft snores against your ribs. The sight of him like this makes you feel a bit like you’re dreaming.
The two of you settled into bed some hours after midnight, equally fatigued after an intense bout of nonstop conversation. You’d been sharing a single pillow then, and trying very hard not to kiss him. 
“Wake me up before sunrise, will you?” he’d told you as his eyes drifted closed.
Your brows pinched together. “For what?” 
“So I can leave before everyone in your house knows I’m here,” the boy scoffed in a tired laugh. “Don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea, you know?”
You didn’t know what he meant by that. But rather than ask him, your brain shouted its own understanding at you — a blinking neon sign that was virtually unmissable. 
He must not want to be seen with me, the voice tells you. Maybe this isn’t as serious as I was hoping it’d be. Maybe we just have the night together, and maybe I have to be grateful I got it at all.
As though he could read your mind, a half-asleep Eddie Munson patched together your breaking heart without trying. “Don’t want your parents to think I’m just trying to get in your pants or somethin’… Also I’m pretty Gareth would kill me if he knew I spent the night here.”
He exhales a weary chuckle, and you force yourself to do the same.
It was never about you, but rather about the lingering implication that looked rather daunting from afar. 
The town freak sneaks into the bedroom of the local princess, and it’s certainly not to slay some sleeping dragon. It was a headline waiting to happen. No one would believe you if you told them Eddie was more interested in the stories behind each of your stuffies than he was in what your body looked like under your clothes.
You drifted off alongside him, expecting at least one of you to rouse before the sun came up. You quickly found that waking up from the best night’s sleep of your life was practically impossible. And with the way Eddie slumbers so soundly against your stomach, you figure he must be a lot of the same.
A smile quirks the corners of your lips as you look down at the sleeping boy. It’s too filled with exhaustion to be evident, but the sentiment is there and swirling like burning embers in your chest. 
Eddie rises and falls with each of your even breaths. His heavier ones are sighed in time with yours. He’s heavy like a weighted blanket. You hardly notice the burden of him now, but you’d feel the lack of him if he were gone. 
Ornery umber curls fall over his face, sticking to his cheek and his mouth. You reach down to sweep them away with a gentle hand, jerking back when Eddie huffs and shifts against you.
“Shit. Sorry,” you apologize in a whisper. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”
The boy sighs deeply through his nose and smushes his face back into your stomach. Still half-asleep, he slurs, “’S okay. Keep doing that. It felt good.”
You exhale a breathy laugh and return your hand to his hair. Your fingers dance through the curls at the crown of his head as you massage his scalp. You feel the warmth of his sigh when it fans against you, and you smile. 
“Sorry for not waking you up,” you confess in your second apology of the morning. 
Eddie’s breath jerks suddenly. You think it must be his drowsy laughter. “‘M sorry for using you like a pillow all night.”
“I kinda liked that, actually,” you admit with a scrunched nose and distant smile.
The boy lifts his cheek from your stomach and replaces it with his chin. He grins at you — plush, pink, and heavy like syrup. His chocolate eyes are a lot of the same. They’re swollen with sleep but twinkling with early morning adoration nonetheless. 
“And I’m glad you didn’t wake me up, so… I guess we’re even then, huh?”
He rises with a grunt. The mattress shifts under his weight as he leans his lankier body against yours. He props himself on the forearms he lays on either side of your head. His nose nudges against the tip of yours. You’re moments away from tilting your chin and pressing your mouth against his, morning breath and all, but a knock at your door throws a wrench in your plans. 
“Mom wants to know if you want pancakes,” Gareth calls from the other side of the entrance.
“Yes, please!” you singsong in response. 
You’d be an idiot to turn them down. Gareth’s mom makes the best breakfast this side of Indiana has ever seen. You figure you’ll have to find a way to smuggle some to Eddie before he leaves, so his lips will taste like your favorite food when you kiss him goodbye. Maybe that’ll hold you over until you can sneak him in again—
“What about you, Eddie?” Gareth calls again with a knowing inflection in his muffled voice.
It makes the both of you freeze. 
Eddie hardens like a rock on top of you, and not in the way that you’re used to. 
His eyes widen as he looks down at you, finding nothing but your own look of gaping horror. You shake your head at him — a silent plea to stay silent — even though you know that Gareth is somehow aware of his best friend’s company.
Eddie’s brain short circuits, and the words spill out before he can stop them. “Uh… Nope! I’m— I’m good.”
“Suit yourself…”
The boy’s footsteps recede down the hallway. 
Eddie exhales an embarrassed groan as his head falls to your shoulder. He tucks himself into the nook of your neck with the intent to hide there. His soft, untamed curls tickle the skin of your chin and jaw. 
Despite your own lingering mortification, your hands curl under his arms and sprawl along his shoulder blades — keeping him intently pressed against you. “How did he…?”
“I don’t know,” Eddie laughs against your skin before you can finish the question. His face finds yours again, and he shrugs. “I mean… I guess I wasn’t as stealthy as I thought when I climbed through your window.”
“Really?” you hum. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“It was your curtains. They were trying to kill me, princess, I swear.”
“Well… At least, now we don’t have to worry about telling him,” you reason, even though your voice trembles.
Eddie’s grin wavers just the same. “Yeah, let’s hope he doesn’t punch me over pancakes and orange juice or something today.”
Your head tilts to your shoulder as you smile up at him. Your hands fall from his shoulders to cup his jaw. “I’d patch you up,” you promise quietly as you pull him down for a kiss. 
Eddie gravitates toward you like he was made to do it. His mouth falls agape to accept your own before he realizes. You taste like flowers and early morning and the rest of his life.
A punch in the face would be worth it if he meant he got to taste you forever.
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