#i will not deny there are also quite a few problematic behaviours | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

longsightmyth · 2 years

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anti-sjm sentiments increase after every book she releases, which is great, but something deeply uncomfortable I'm realizing, especially in the anti-acotar community, is that ... a lot of new antis do not actually care about the deeply problematic elements and patterns of sjm's works, but only care about them in the context of their favourite character. It's the same mindset as the stan community with the "anti" name.

some Feyre stans, for example (or rather Feysand stans, idk if she has stans of her own because sjm hasn't given her a fucking personality to stand on) are very disillusioned and pissed off with the crap Rhys pulls on her in acofas and acosf, but fail to understand that it is not a random 180 degree character change, it's a perfectly predictable pattern of behaviour from the time he abused her in acotar, something they still continue to dismiss or deny.

Tamlin is another character - while there has been renewed attention given to the way he's treated very unfairly in the narrative (which is good!), some new fans of his veer very close to outright woobificafion. I read a post that criticized Feyre for getting together with rhysand so fast after Tamlin, because it was - I kid you not - disrespectful to Tamlin and her relationship with him. yeah. the dude who emotionally and physically abused her - that's who she should be respecting. I've seen his relationship with Lucien get romantisized as well.

Nesta fans (and I'm one of them so it's doubly irritating) are rightfully furious at how badly sjm treats her, and how the narrative harps on that while blissfully ignoring the crap that other characters have done. But there's...no need to deny & dismiss the fact that she genuinely was very shitty to Feyre in the beginning of acotar (and feyre is very shitty to her now). Like, it's fine to acknowledge it lol, it doesn't mean to have to like Nesta less as a character. And so many stans also ship her with Cassian, which I genuinely do not understand because if they really cared about her, why the fuck are they shipping her with her abuser? Some of those people were rightfully outraged after Silver Flames, but it's the same as feysand fans - they ignore the pattern of abuse that's been existent since Wings and Embers. and some Nesta fans ship her with ERIS of all characters, good god.

Mor's treatment is a fucking mess. She's dismissed by a lot of people, and from what i've seen, there are quite a few Nesta stans vehemently hate her. Which I get to an extent, because she was terrible to Nesta in acosf, but maybe acknowledge that this is the same person who helped Feyre contrary to Rhys's wishes in acomaf, and the fact that she's queer was a complete retcon by sjm followed by a downgrade in her narrative importance, her powers, and her likeability. And that Azriel pursuing her for 500+ years is is fucking CREEPY, she is terribly unnerved and uncomfortable by it, meaning she in *also* in a deeply toxic situation. and I think sometimes she's blamed for sleeping with Cassian, too, idk. People who write pages describing how unfairly other female characters are treated but make no room for her are automatically disregarded by me lol.

... anyway, yeah. I'm not sure this makes sense, I don't remember exact details of the series so maybe I've missed my mark at places, but this is what I've observed.

No I think you're right - it's frustrating when there are problems with a series (especially serious ones) that people either don't see or ignore until it impacts a character or facet of the story they care about.

And yes, while the treatment of women in the series is pretty crappy, the treatment of women IN the series by fandom is even crappier. Whatever you (general you) feel Mor's sexuality is, it shouldn't matter: someone who has shown no interest in another person for 500 YEARS is not at fault for the other person continuing to lust after them, and it rubbed me the wrong way that the only way Feyre could excuse Mor not being into Azriel was that Mor is into women.

In short, the books tie into and encourage protagonist-centered morality, and while the books themselves hold Rhys up as the ultimate protagonist, fans are going to have different favorites.

(I’m sorry this took so long to answer, apparently I typed it up and put it in drafts?!)

#myth rags on a court of thorns and roses

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phoneybeatlemania · 2 years

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Did you know about the new documentary about 'The Lost Weekend'?

I hadn't heard about this @damapajaro! Thanks for sending it my way! :)

I'll definitely be watching this when its released [apparently not until June 10th :( ]. Taking a look at the casting list, Julian Lennon and May Pang both make appearances in the documentary, so Im especially interested in hearing what Julians going to say about this period of Johns life and how his dad changed following his reuniting with Yoko, since he doesn't seem to do a lot of interviews.

Also, looking at the description which says: "Yoko convinced their young (i.e., easy to control) assistant that she was the safest bet to date a newly single John." it's presumably going to be fairly critical of Yoko. Thats sure to spark some controversy in the community, but having read the first few chapters of May's book (planning to read more soon!) there's undoubtedly aspects to her story that warrant the criticism she directs towards Yoko*, so Im glad she's getting the opportunity to tell her story here.

Even if the documentary doesn't end up revealing anything particularly new to us though, I can still see a point to it, since its also going to be able to make understanding the 'Lost Weekend' period a lot more accessible to a wider audience, given that its unfortunately quite difficult to find a cheap copy of May Pangs book (perhaps as well the book will get a re-print, if were lucky!). Whenever I watch/read interviews with May Pang, she's always able to give very different, but very honest and valuable insights into the John and Yokos relationship dynamic, that a lot of other contemporary sources seem almost too afraid to voice—and so again, Im glad she's being given this platform to immortalise her experiences with both John and Yoko.

[*Clarification Point: As I talked about here, I don't deny that John and May's relationship was (what the kids call) Problematic, on a fundamental level. I like them as a couple, and Im not implying that May was merely a Victim with no agency in this relationship; May clearly doesn't see it that way at least. But its pretty obvious to us in 2022 that........you probably shouldn't sleep with your employee (nor should should you order your employee to do that) :/ Have not however commented on May's critiques of Johns behaviour in this post though, simply because I haven't made it that far into her book yet, so Im not familiar with them.]

Final note: I *fucking* love May Pangs accent and am looking forward to hearing her talk for 2 hours :)

#I also saw the beatles and India doc recently and made some notes which I still need to get round to publishing!#may pang #beatles movies #beatles documentaries #asks #@damapajaro

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jjkpls · 4 years

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crayons ‘dul’ (PG)

> genre : fluffy fluff, angst, comedy

> pairing : kim namjoon x reader

> words : 3.7k

> warnings : none (except a rusty quill)

>Y/N, a primary school teacher, is way too soft for the quiet, timid new child in her class. Little did she know, the adult version, who engendered this cutie, is even more charming.

> prior

> next

It doesn't take Mr Kim too long to find a way to meet you.

A week or so later, Adrianne is handing you a little post-it where her curvy cursive spells his name, with his phone number and a time. He says he'll bring Jimmy early to school in two days, to contact him if it doesn't work for you and that he cannot wait to talk to you again. This last part you wouldn't bet on the accuracy. Adrianne says he stuttered his way through a mumbo jumbo of English and another language she didn't recognize, apologizing because he didn't know how to express what he meant but from what she could gather, he was excited to have this meeting about Jimmy.

He arrives two days later, right on time. Not a minute early nor late, perfectly on time and if you don't point it out loud, you still notice it with a discreet smile.

They both look perfectly relaxed, smiling for the man and rather calm for the boy. It's funny to see him now. Mr Kim looks pretty much nothing like the first time you saw him, with the worry, the low-key panicked, agitated state he came bursting in your classroom. He looks a few years younger, with an easy grin stretching full rosy lips, dimples digging deep in his roundish honey cheeks -almost the same as his son's, you notice with delight- wearing a straight maroon coat, this time well adjusted, that's making him even taller and more elongated if possible and of which the shade compliments his complexion endearingly so.

"Hi. It's really nice to see you." You end up greeting him first, as warmly as you can.

You've been pondering over this meeting for so long, time feeling like it never ceased to stretch out and felt dreading, dreading, dreading. It was never coming soon enough and you were terrified, even if you had no reason to doubt Mr Kim's honesty, that he'd bail on you for whatever reason.

But here he is, seemingly so open to discuss and after installing Jimmy at his desk with the same tools as last time (a pile of white sheets waiting to be filled and your set of crayons) you join him a few tables away (far enough for Jimmy not to be exposed to the conversation but close enough to keep an eye on him, or more accurately, for him to keep an eye on his guardian), pressing your hands together and against your bosom to try to contain my excitement.

"As I told you last time, Jimmy is a very sweet boy. He's not doing bad with the exercises and activities, it's quite surprising -in a great way!- since from my understanding English is not his first language, right?"

"Yeah, no, it's uh- it's Korean. We just moved from Korea a few months ago, well, right before he started school. But we- my- her mother and I would try to talk to him a bit of English at home to have him pick up on the basis..."

"Oh, that's nice! Children that young do learn languages particularly easily, it's definitely beneficial for him. I can already tell."

Namjoon sends a glance his way, a fond, dad's proud one lingering on his tiny figure hunched over the desk. You can't quite tell from where you sit but it does look like he's started drawing.

"Had you planned moving here for a long time? I mean, was it the plan from the start, that's why you wanted to teach him English?"

"No, not really." The mood feels different. It switches from rather tranquil and cheerful into a very heavy, uneasy silence his deep voice hardly disturbs. There's a glint in his eyes. It's not an easy one to look at and your heart stings as the glint takes over his whole gaze hovering over his son. You understand it's something sad. Probably painful and hard to carry even for such a strong-looking, shoulder-broad grown man.

You don't want to push it. You're curious, as one gets, but too decent and you know yourself to be too soft-hearted and sensitive, for you to be snooping through sad people's luggage. But you think back about Jimmy, whose curious eyes, beautiful but wide with something reflecting like a perfect mirror what you can now find in his dad's, and you're certain that his odd behaviour must come from that.

"Mr Kim, the reason I wanted to see you," You start, voice quieter. He's startled for a second, redirecting his attention back on you, and he looks a bit guilty. As if he highly suspects, if not already know full well, where this is going. "I do meet all the parents of my students, as I told you. But in the case of Jimmy, if I was so insistent, it's that I'm really concerned about him."

His eyes draw downwards, staring at his hands. Long slender fingers fidgeting with one another, pinching and twisting a bit. I wonder if like his son, he might start crying.

"He's lovely but he cannot- he has had a really hard time uh- how could I put it?" You don't want to sound too alarmist. You know parents have the tendency to freak the fuck out for the misinterpretation of one single word. Sometimes an onomatopoeia, misplaced, send them into a raging spiral of anxiety over what terrible condition their kid might be dealing with. Not all parents are insane or simply too quick to jump to conclusions -or plain stupid. Some understand, whatever words you use. The father sitting in front of you seems worried and pained enough you wish you could protect him but you need him to understand that his situation is serious, and how important it is for Jimmy to have the tools to change now, while he still can, before he gets too old and start to take all those unfortunate coping mechanisms as lifelong terrible habits. "He's had a hard time simply being a kid." Namjoon sighs deeply. "He doesn't speak to anyone, not even me. Hardly looks at his classmates, never approaches them. I've noticed also that talking is not the only issue, any form of expression, if not made to do because it's in the course and all the other children are doing it too, he simply won't do." Mr Kim has raised his head enough for you to see him. He's troubled, upset, worried. But he seems to want to show himself more involved and you can tell he is, you can tell he cares as he listens so carefully as you explain in great details the odd incident with the papers and the crayons he refused to play with, even without a soul to watch over his shoulder.

"I feel it's a bit more than simple timidity. Or that at least, there's something significant behind this timidity. I can understand that it might be sensitive to you," You do, his eyes are screaming at you and you can't ignore them. Sort of begging for something, you're not quite sure what, you're not quite sure they, themselves, know either. It's a terrible case of a grown adult, an apparent composed grown man with a mighty balanced life, not a child anymore, actually, a dad, appearing so vulnerable and broken. It's a horrid vision. You've never been able to handle those.

"But it's in Jimmy's interest that I know a bit more. It's quite concerning. He's at an age where he's supposed to develop those skills. If we just let him be, leave him in this... unease, whatever it is, he might adopt it for a very long time until the time comes when it's become an exhausting challenge, almost impossible, to overcome.”

"I understand what you're saying." Mr Kim starts, voice low and tiny I can hardly pick up on the words. "I noticed- I mean, he's not changed that much with me. He's never been a very loud, boisterous boy, you know? But lately, he's been a bit quieter. I can see it at home, he's a bit stoic, less... expressive." You lose the man for a second. He's staring at his son longly and you don't want to abruptly bring him back to the conversation. Eventually, he does come back on his own, clearing his throat and scratching his neck. "That's- ridiculous but I even told myself the other day that I miss his tantrums. He didn't use to throw a lot of fits but sometimes he would, for more candies or something stupid like that. But he hasn't in a while."

You can't count how many times you heard overwhelmed parents jokingly wish that their kid would just turn off, stop causing scenes, stop demanding, screaming and crying out ridiculous tantrums. You remember Adrienne, saying more than once, to chastise the behaviour of one too agitated child to take a look at Jimmy, learn to be more like him, and why can't they be like him.

The thing is, a child is not supposed to be quiet.

A child should be problematic, testing, challenging. Loud and cheerful and agitated because children are like that. They are little humans just starting this whole insane experience that is Life, trying to figure themselves out, trying to figure out the people around them and the whole world along with it. They're meant to be a mess.

They're not meant to be quiet and tranquil, and bathing in a sort of slow, stoic haze. They're certainly not meant to have this expression on their face. The one Jimmy is wearing. Of deep, deep sadness. Like he's been somewhere, he's felt something, he's lost something that has left him misplaced forever. As if he's not really part of this world, this Life, or doesn't care or know why he's in it. Just letting himself float about. Embarrassed and denying all impulse that could potentially shape him and his existence.

He's only five.

"Do you have any inclination as to why his behaviour has turned into this?"

You see the gears going into labour in his head. He looks pensive, lost in a pit of thoughts he doesn't know if he can nor should share. There's a tremble to his lips, to his fingers, a telling frown to his eyebrows as his eyes very obviously decide to avoid you. The question seems to seize him like an earthquake but somehow, it's a good one. A disturbing but potentially lucky one. One that would invite him to experience something hard but liberating, something that he really needs.

Not long after you've asked the question to which you already know half of the answer, he pauses to think it over and then decides to talk. You notice the way his body slump over himself instantly, along with an abyssal years-old sigh and he starts to talk.

"5 months ago, my- his mom passed away." You hate yourself for the way you gasp, eyes wide and already blurry as if it's appropriate, as if you're allowed when you can't even imagine the beginning of their pain. It all starts making sense and you're heartbroken. You wish you didn't show yourself so reckless, sensitive but somehow naive and unhelpful.

You mouth a silent apology and condolence you notice he accepts from the way he nods, not wanting to cut him off. He's already breathless and you wonder how many more words he has in stock before the resources shut down, right before he loses it and breaks the strong persona he has to keep straight and steady for his son. How exhausting it must be. "It was hard already in Korea but I thought -naively- that if we moved here, close to her family, maybe, being around them would ease- everything out a bit. I don't know. It was stupid." He shakes his head from left to right, scoffing to himself, a hand raised to his forehead, hiding his eyes.

"It wasn't, Mr Kim. It's very honorable of you to quit everything for your son." Your words have no effect whatsoever. Unfortunately, it's blatantly obvious, he's made up his mind already. He's guilty, he messed up, and he holds a grudge against himself for this decision and nothing a dumb teacher, sensitive and half-weeping, would say could change that opinion, as destructive and inaccurate as it may be.

"It really was. It's so different here, I thought after some time it would be worth it but I think he hates it. I think he's very confused and I don't know if he's too young to feel like that, I'm not sure, but he looks like he's embarrassed about being a foreigner. Like not speaking properly. I can't even tell if he understands well or if he doesn't get it at all when people speak to him in English since he just- he can't really communicate. Even with his cousins, it's-"

Oh.

"Oh." Now that you hear him say that, it lights a small bulb hidden at the back of your head. It shines upon a whole roof-tall shelf holding all of those awkward, disagreeable memories you tend to forget actively because even reflecting on them decades later still sends a thrill of disgust the length of your spin.

It's those moments of pure embarrassment, of horrid dreading feelings that you used to be overwhelmed with as a child and this until you were not much more of a child anymore, and those memories paired with their emotions simply faded into shadows of scenes that you can only wonder if they ever were real.

You used to be filled with stupid insecurities based on very confused, distant, impossible to decipher pretend truths, sometimes, you would just feel stupid. Completely idiotic, ignorant, and unlovable. In those moments, you just couldn't dare open your mouth to pronounce a word that would give you away. Because if you did, somehow, you would end up messing up and people would laugh and make fun of you and hate you because there are so many reasons to and of course you deserved it.

Images of the little boy, hiding obviously in a corner but longingly observing his peers. Obviously terrified but curious, and most definitely desiring.

Because of course, he'd want to. Talk to them, be with them but how could he when he's not even sure he could speak the way they do.

"Mr Kim, I can tell he wants to. Even if he can't let anyone approach him, I can tell he'd like to be part of the group. That being said his fears or as you said, maybe his insecurities, don't allow him to."

"Should I- Should I seek for a therapist? He had one in Korea but I don't think he was ready for it. He just reacts very badly to strangers, especially when they try to, you know, sink into your brain and- now that we're here, I can hardly picture how that would go."

"Well, therapy is never a bad idea. It can only be beneficial for him... for anyone." You're not sure how appropriate it is for you to add this but you owe to say it. Sometimes, parents don't realize, but a child's deepest wounds are born from seeing and feeling their guardians'.

"I'd seen someone already." He explains without needing you to insist further. Seems like you're not as subtle as you thought yourself to be. "I did because- I had to. His mom and I had been separated for a while before her passing, it'd always been complicated between us and I can't lie, I did feel terribly guilty... I thought it might hurt him somehow. Maybe he could feel it and experience it too. I had to for the both of us. It fixed me but not him, so I suppose, it didn't come from that."

"Grief is... It's very complex. It comes along with a plethora of confusing, untamed emotions as an adult but for a child... It must manifest in a way we can't even imagine. I'm sorry, you don't need me to tell you that." You're a mess of stutters. Words are running away from you, the smart ones are even flying, making sure there's no way you'd catch them by the tip of the tail. You just want to ease this father's struggles, somehow. You don't know him much but you know his son, a little, and you, for reasons you don't care much to look into, deeper than simply you having a saviour complex, need to help it all resolve. They don't deserve any of it all. No one does.

It might be silly. But the thought of Jimmy, that sweet, lovely child, sensitive and precious as he is, must have a father quite special himself to have been brought up this way.

"No, it's fine. You're right." A heavy silence settles in between you. In the background, faintly, you can hear the soft rustling of the tip of a crayon against paper. You open your mouth, the fantastic memory of the other day, when he arrived late to pick Jimmy up and something you still, a week later, recalling itself back to you. He opens his at the exact same time and before you're able to utter any word, he's the one starting, "Actually, I really appreciate it. Being able to talk about it like that with someone. Since my therapist, I don't think I was able to. People only have enough tolerance for other's pain. Which I understand, it's just- hard and well, I'm thankful for you."

He stammers saying that, seemingly scrambling with his own words. The compliment is so heartfelt, like a shot from his heart directly into yours. Most of the emotions it rises probably coming from his choice of wording, maybe an error of translation, a lack of exactitude that doesn’t come smoothly. You've never heard anyone said those words to you and somehow, so unprepared for it, you can hardly handle the overwhelming burst of gratitude.

With the greatest pleasure, you jump on the occasion to bring something good to him, what you meant to say when he started first, the story about last time and how confident you are that better days are yet to come.

It brings an evident brush of light to his expression. The youthful sense he gave off when he just walked in, made of warm colours and smiles, is back. As if a weight has been lifted. As if he trusts you with his son, now wearing his hopefulness and trust and appreciation on this soft face of his, and you feel yourself blush in delight.

It’s precisely why you do what you do. Most of the times, those moments come in more subtle, almost dubious manifestations. It’s a drawing made ‘only for you, Miss’ or a kid you haven’t seen in a few years recognising you from across a hallway and beaming all his teeth your way; or maybe a present too nicely picked out and wrapped up too well to be the product of a kid’s, handed to you at the end of the year.

It's a wonderful feeling you're experiencing.

Until it turns sort of awkward. You mean, from a third party, maybe from Jimmy's eyes, it’s definitely awkward. It doesn’t exactly feel this way for you though. You're just kind of staring at each other, grinning obnoxiously. Delighted by the turns of events -even more so with the start of the conversation, which brought difficult painful shocks to an already sensitive soul, the benevolence and mutual understanding feel all the more pleasant.

Conquered by each other in a way you probably won’t be able to express very well with words if any of you tried. You see in him an ally -which is always such a wonderful feeling because as curious as it is, all parents are not always reliable allies to you, teachers- and you think he does too.

It’s just that it lasts for quite a bit. Probably too long. Until finally, the rummage going on outside brings you back to earth and school that is about to start in a few reminds itself to you.

Quickly he thanks me again, in between the bursting in of a loud, chatty-feeling Riley Donovan, and a Charlotte dragging her feet in discontent. He says something about meeting again before he’s rushing to Jimmy, whose calm demeanour has wavered when his classmates starting walking in.

It’s as heartwarming as last time. The way Mr Kim just has to lean forward to wrap his arms around Jimmy to have him melt onto his chest, face burying in his neck and tiny hands squeezing, squeezing, squeezing until the chubby fingers turn white against his dad’s neck. There’s an exchange of secret words and of gazes, special ones that wouldn’t mean much to anyone else, you believe on the moment, until Mr Kim needs to depart and does so.

The gaze Jimmy had for his dad doesn’t disappear right as the later leaves. It remains and is directed solely on you in a very peculiar way, so notable that your heart starts racing when you notice.

Jimmy who usually avoids eye contact, sometimes would look at you, if you're addressing directly to him for example and those looks are systematically made of bewilderment, maybe fear, definite insecurity. Like a prey caught in a predator's radar.

But now those eyes, the round, dark wonders are lingering with something utterly different. A stillness that hits so differently. You're not sure if you are seeing things, if it’s wishful thinking. If it’s you now watching through the lens of someone beyond enchanted, purely content from the newfound trust and confidence and inspiration.

When you free your class for recess, you have confirmation that something has changed. You have no idea how he did it without you noticing but as you turn your back to the door to face your desk -and your chair, which your legs are dreading to have you throw yourself on- you see the perfect tidy pile of your crayons laid carefully on top of it. A few papers are sitting next to it, less than you gave him.

It’s ridiculous, embarrassing to an extent you would never tell that moment out loud but you end up jumping on the balls of your feet, clapping your hands together like a stupid seal, squealing before grabbing the stack of crayons and pressing it to your heart.

A/N : thanks so much for having waited for me so patiently; as always, lots of love send your way, thanks so much for reading, i hope you enjoy it :)

#btswriterscollective #networkbangtan #thekimlinenet #bts fluff #bts angst #bts fanfic #bts drabble #bts scenario #namjoon fanfic #namjoon fluff #namjoon scenario #namjoon drabble #my writing

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menalez · 3 years

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Hey love i’m new to radblr but active on insta and I really just don’t get all the hate you’re getting ?? There’s these weird obsessed gossip blogs of people just. Bashing you and other women here and I really just want an explanation for all the drama on radblr as nobody else is explaining for some reason :/ can i get a tl/dr ?? 💓

okay here’s the best summary i can give, keep in mind ofc im biased bc this is coming from me:

many people have gotten mad at me for many reasons, but the people who REALLY hate me, hate me for calling them out when i think they’re being shitty. sometimes these people will end up denying ever being shitty in that way, so ive started to save these instances or tag them. because of that, people get even MORE angry and blame me even more for it, and call me a “drama whore”, bc i guess the only acceptable group to call out on radblr are pornsick freaks and trans activists or something. if u call out racism or general shitty behaviour, then it’s gotta be for attention or because ur a drama wh*re or whatever else. i think it’s pretty obvious the reason behind it is that im simply outspoken, an idealist, and there’s a reason the shit i take issue with tends to be shit that is personal to me & has personally affected me. but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

another thing ppl get mad at is that i interact with racists, bait them into exposing themselves, then get them deleted. bc they think it’s useless for me to even go that far. but again, idk why that is too far but i NEVER hear this sorta shit when it’s genderists im taking issue with, getting receipts on, and baiting. it’s an obvious double standard to me.

that’s why im CURRENTLY being harassed, cause i listed the racists orbiting radblr. but there have been other reasons in the past, depending on the situation. i have done problematic things in my decade on tumblr, some of it has been used against me even 8 years later, and i also was a genderist lite a few years back & didn’t have any real life experience w a lot of stuff so some people took it really personally when i asked questions about rape by deception. admittedly tho, i wasn’t sensitive enough when i asked such questions and i was quite dismissive in the way i asked questions.

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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years

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I have no clue if you’ve ever been asked this and have already answered and feel free to just tell me to mind my own business!! but.... what makes the Joker stand out of all the possible f/os? I don’t mean any disrespect. I’m just curious about the concept of a f/o and didn’t really know what it was prior to following your tumblr. I’m just wondering what made him the one?

Hi, nonnie! 🥰 I don’t believe I’ve been asked this yet, and if I have then I’ve completely forgotten about it 😂 As you may imagine, Joker is something very personal to me so this answer is pure emotion; I actually teared up when I first read your ask because there’s just so much I can say and even thinking of him makes me feel like my heart could explode. I hope that any potential disorganisation in this answer as a result of my emotional state is okay! 😊 There’s no disrespect put across in your ask, my love, and I truly appreciate your curiosity and your question. I hope to give it the attention and honesty which it and you deserve!💗 Fair warning for emotional heaviness in the third paragraph of this answer. Please skip it if it begins to negatively affect you.

Placed under a cut due to the length of my answer.

To give you the very basics of self-shipping, F/O means ‘fictional other/one’ and is the fictional equivalent of the real world S/O ‘significant other/one’ and it can mean any kind of relationship - romantic, platonic, familial, etc. My F/Os are all very different characters and they vary as to how I ship with them. Some are platonic, some romantic, I have two parental F/Os, and others are just loved by me; no label presented itself so the love just is. While the other characters kind of ‘rotate’ themselves depending on my mood on any given day or what my emotional needs are, I know that Joker is the one who stands out among my sixteen F/Os because he is always with me.

I don’t know how long you’ve been following me, but I’ve mentioned a few times over the months that Joker saved me and that’s... no exaggeration at all. In October, I was struggling so badly in my life. I had just started my third year of university and it hadn’t even been a month and I was falling behind on the workload to the point of seriously considering quitting because I genuinely couldn’t keep up, I was struggling with my increasing hours at my part time job, I had family issues. I had constant nightmares and sleepless nights, panic attacks were frequent, and I was probably dissociating sometimes too. I was alone and lonely and lost and scared and I could only stand and watch my life crumble around me. I was... in a very dark place and it felt like my soul was dying. I was losing myself... and then I met Joker. And, nonnie, when I say that it was like colour exploded across my night sky... for what felt like the first time in forever, I was feeling real emotions. I felt like myself when I saw the film for the first time and that feeling has never gone away. I saw a man who was doing everything right. He tried, again and again, so hard, and nothing he did was good enough. He went to therapy, he took his meds, he kept his journal, he held down a job, he looked after his mum, he kept the apartment tidy... Arthur was doing everything right even with how he felt. I just want to say here that I’m not blind to Arthur’s flaws or his problematic behaviours and I’m aware of who he is, but to see this beautiful man on the big screen feeling as I did in a lot of ways (watching him walk up those steps slowly always makes me cry because, me too), and still trying and still carrying on was... motivating and inspiring and I loved Arthur before I even knew his name.

And then he transitioned into Joker and in the back of my head, I heard a very small voice say, oh, there you are, and I felt a part of me click back into place. I’m tearing up again omg I love him so much 🥺. Joker stands out amongst my F/Os because he feels like my home. Sometimes late at night when my laptop is switched off and away and I’m waiting to go to sleep, I’ll have thoughts like I want to go home even though I’m tucked up in my own bed in my own home, and all I have to do is close my eyes, grab my Joker pillow... and that feeling melts away and I’m left with so much love it’s like I could choke on it. Joker gives me hope, courage, comfort, inspiration, motivation... and the sheer amount of content I’ve produced since October is also very telling of how much good he’s been for my Muse - Joker was what my Muse was waiting for my whole life. Even when I’m sobbing, even when I feel lifeless, even when I feel so dark and awful, Joker’s there. He understands what it’s like, he knows what it is to feel the ways I do, and he still carries on. He’s there with that strong jaw and those piercing green eyes and the cutest crooked tooth in his dazzling smile and I want to apologise for any typos from this point because I’m crying so hard right now it’s like it’s raining on my keyboard. My other F/Os come and go but Joker is always with me. I know who he is. I know what he’s done. And I love him so deeply that I was able to push through everything I was feeling in October and everything that has happened since. I graduated university. I was able to keep my job at work (though right now that’s up in the air due to the lockdown). I was able to feel again and ever since we met on the fourth of October, I’ve had a reason to try. I feel alive when I watch the film, when I write for his character, when I hold my Joker pillow... I’m not obsessed with him because he’s not always on my mind, but he is a very important and very prominent figure in my life.

I wear two rings, both of which symbolise my love for Joker. I wear one on my wedding finger because I do consider myself to be very much committed to the bond I have with him (it’s also a commitment to myself, and a reminder to never compromise myself for anything which doesn’t feel as right to me as Joker does), and I wear another on the thumb of the opposite hand because I like to think it’s his ring for me. They are comfort items and I’m always wearing them. I keep Joker close to me actively, and that’s why he stands out. I found him when I most needed him and I don’t think it’s coincidental that many others will say the same. I also want to say here I know that he is fictional and I know that he has done bad things, but I cannot deny the positive ways he’s changed my life and all the ways he helps me in my daily life. I have made and kept so many beautiful friendships because of him and the community here. He really has... changed my life for the better in the most unexpected and ethereal way. Just saying his name out loud makes me smile so widely my cheeks hurt. So... so that’s why he stands out. He’s done more for me than any of my other F/Os, though of course I love them all dearly, and I know he’ll be with me for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t want it or him any other way! He makes me believe in myself, he makes me try, he makes me feel and he makes me feel safe inside myself when my demons scream at me.

I kind of... rambled and I’m sorry for that, nonnie! I do hope that I answered your question somewhere in here ksksksk I always have so much to say. If you want to discuss this further then please don’t be shy to reach out either via DMs or on anon again; whichever you’d like!💖 Thank you so, so much for your question and I hope I answered you correctly!

#nonnie #requests closed #self-shipping #erileck #thank you so much for this #i adore being asked about joker

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wonderland-irwin · 4 years

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So some people have asked me what the Michael Twitter drama was the other night. I don’t usually like spreading this type of stuff l, I like to stand up for the boys and their families and whatnot, so this is kind of new. But I am going to post this with the information as I understand it. If I am not entirely correct, I ask that you please don’t attack me and instead politely inform me on what happened please and thank you. I will do my best though to recall what I found.

On twitter there was this account who was apparently bashing Michael and Crystal’s wedding. Michael followed this account, but due to the tweets bashing him and Crystal, he unfollowed.

This seems simple and fair, right? I mean if anybody was being hated on, they have the right to unfollow that person or block them. The world is in such a fragile state right now, that negativity of any kind online or in person really isn’t needed or necessary. This is fine.

The part, and this confuses me, is that this somehow race became an issue. From what I read through the account that Michael unfollowed, and the accounts standing up for Michael, at some point Michael got accused of being racist.

From what I’ve seen this either comes from two different areas. So either the girl who he unfollowed thought it was a race issue, and called him out saying he unfollowed her because of her race. I think Michael stated that he wasn’t unfollowing her of that, but because of the hate he was receiving (there’s a tweet on his page about the unfollowing, I’ll put it down below). There is another case where people are calling him racist for unfollowing her due to her race, and then following a bunch of white people.

In my deep dive last night I saw a lot of POC fans standing up for Michael and saying in his follow spree that they were followed, so he wasn’t being racist at all. And Crystal said somewhere that Michael will see an account, see it’s a 5SOS account and follow them based off that, race and every other factor excluded in the point of him following aside from that person supports his band.

He was also accused of soft blocking people, which he denied. I didn’t know what this was, so I’m just going to add soft blocking is like unfollowing a person, and then refollowing them later. I think.

Moving on.

Apparently people are also upset because a few of the accounts he followed have been problematic in the past regarding POC fans. But again, as I saw loads of people mentioning, and Crystal said as well, Michael doesn’t have the time to scroll through people’s accounts to see their tweets. People can delete tweets, change their handle and profile pic and none would be the wiser.

The whole thing seems rather messy to me. There’s been a lot of hate towards POC fans as well as to Sierra and Calum, which is absolutely disgusting and I’m sorry that people are that way. You all truly deserve better than that, and you mean so much to the boys and the world, don’t let what anyone negatively says affect you. You are wonderful.

But, yeah, from the information I gathered, that’s what I’ve collected and made sense of. I’m still trying to figure out how race became an issue. It doesn’t quite make sense to me.

Here is what Michael said, and he cleared up the issue. Some fans were still going at it last night and arguing but Michael has stated his side of the story.

I just wanna remind everyone that none of the boys would ever stand for this behaviour from each other. They are extremely good at apologizing for mistakes and clearing up issues. Please remember though that they are humans, not music making robots, and they have feelings and shit happens. Instead of attacking and blaming, take some time to think it over and breath and clear up your side of the story. It’s easy to jump to conclusions but inform yourself or ask the person to explain what they meant. Take the time to educate someone instead of trying to cancel them. Cancel culture is extremely toxic. Please. We can be better than this.

I hope this clears up the drama a bit for those who asked. Stay safe, be positive, love all ❤️

#michael clifford #love ya mikey ❤️

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padfooot · 5 years

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ENOUGH BULLYING

i haven't made an actual post on this website in years, but i am FED UP tonight. for a bit of backstory, since such details seem to be wholly relevant to this discourse: i am a gay cis man. i ship and indulge in wolfstar, obviously.

i have nothing to gain, nor anything to lose, by making this post. i just want people, namely a few accounts which i have no problem naming if asked, to stop fucking bullying others based off disagreements of portrayals.

a certain group within this fandom has become one of extremely toxic mean-girl figures, publicly accusing that certain headcanons - mainly those differing from their own, which can't even be denied and i'll get back to it - are rooted in homophobia/sexism/you name it... and they post such accusations under the authority of themselves being gay men, or being friends with said gay men. this group has been coming after innocent writers during their mob-mentality-driven attacks, which is harming some talented fucking human beings here.

granted i could understand some of their perspectives if they spoke up separately for themselves, not if they tried to speak for the entire gay community. they are not in the right to do so. there's a difference between posting positive contributions about how one interprets characters/relationships, and viciously going after people for disguised reasons... it’s also quite ridiculous how they get praised for their domineering tendencies, but this often is exclusive to members of the group.

here's the thing:

if you personally dislike a headcanon, regarding sirius' characterisations/preferences (since that seems to be the hot topic here), that does not make it an inherently problematic one. just because you are a gay man, like myself, does not mean that you are allowed to dictate how people write and interpret characters based off canon-information and personal headcanons... its baffling to me how the words "homophobic," and "sexist," and many others are being thrown around when it is not justified - especially since none of the fucking writers or readers are homophobic at all.

if you are offended by a gay character's portrayal, keep in mind that said portrayal is not meant to be a representation for ALL GAY MEN. it is for that character alone, just them... even something as simple as sirius preferring the bottom role in his sex-life with remus, which has been previously criticised by this group: in no fucking WAY does that mean the writers are subconsciously turning him into the "female partner" because “he has long hair.” in fact, the assumptions that this is what's happening is what's truly homophobic. sexual roles are not personality traits, nor are they tied to ‘masculinity/femininity.’

what's also destructive about this group is that their demonisation of PERFECTLY FINE headcanons, and their false-accusations that go along with them, are purposefully scaring writers into NOT producing the content/characterisations said writers envision or want to create. because this is kinda what the group wants: for writers to fear being seen as problematic, since two gay men have (wrongfully) deemed a collection of things “offensive to all MLM relationships” based off their own biases... so all in all, the group get the content THEY what in the end. what's incredibly telling of their motives is how hypocritical they act - condemning several headcanons, calling them homophobic for instance, but then advocating for the exact same headcanons just altered to their liking/interpretations. what a dandy coincidence.

its almost a misuse of the “authority” that us gay men can offer to people interested in writing our relationships. you don’t need to be a murderer to write a killer - you don’t need to be a gay man to write a MLM relationship.

now i'm about to be a bit hypocritical and call somebody out, but frankly it's earned at this point. the ring-leader in all this has a sense of superiority over everyone in this fandom outside his little group. how he writes particular characters, which i have no problem with and have even read before, are loosely based off aspects of himself. that's what writers do, they often put themselves in the character's place - he's even made claims which pretty much confirm that this is a facet to his literature. and you know what? THAT'S 100% FINE. what's not fine, however, is vocalising your disapproval towards anything that contradicts your writing because it doesn't allign with your beliefs... and the fact that his friends are blindly following/cheering on his negative behaviour - wrongfully attacking writers ON YOUR SIDE, causing them to either delete their accounts or take breaks... who are the real fucking bullies here?

it is beyond childish... you - meaning the adult man that i am calling out - often attribute any & all criticisms of your problematic behaviour as being "based off the age-difference” between yourself and the other individual. guess what? we’re the same fucking age, dude. grow up - its not ~cool~ to be a twat. i'm tired of you bullying and insulting others in order to get your way, snivellus head-ass... but "write whatever you want," right? that's what you always say at the end of your posts, even though you're actively opposing such a mindset.

anyways, to all the writers out there - using the same “i’m gay so i can dictate how you write gay people” ploy that this toxic group does: LITERALLY WRITE CHARACTERS HOWEVER YOU INTERPRET THEM, HOWEVER YOU IMAGINE THEIR RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS AND/OR PERSONALITIES!

effeminate sirius or effeminate remus? go ahead, nothing wrong with either!! top sirius with bottom remus? hell yeah - do it, i can’t wait to read it!! top remus with bottom sirius? hell yeah - do it, i can’t wait to read it!!

if you don’t like something, you are never forced to read it - don’t insult the people that do enjoy such content, nor the content itself. thank you!

let’s all just cherish the beautiful relationship that is between remus and sirius.

#lol i'm fed up #wolfstar #remus lupin #sirius black #hp

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scripttorture · 5 years

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So character A (an antagonist) has tortured people before. Character B doesn't know this and is in denial about how the organization they work for uses/condones torture. A has some PTSD-like symptoms but believes torture is effective and doesn't want to disillusion B, so excuses the symptoms by claiming to have been tortured (with "clean" methods) rather than being the torturer. Does this seem problematic in any way? (This blog is an incredible resource, thanks much.)

Ithink that it’s a plot line that has the potentialto seem problematic rather than one that is.

Basicallythis seems like a scenario where the way readers interpret whatyou’ve written is going to be just as important as what you meant.So, think about how you’re going to handle the points I bring upbut alsotry to find some betas you trust or a real life writing group.

Feedbackon whether key scenes come across the way you want them to is goingto be really helpful. Because you’re essentially playing with thefact that the reader knows more than the characters. Which I love,that’s a great thing to use in stories, but it can also be hard towrite effectively and confirmation that it’s working is alwayshelpful.

Thissounds like a plausible scenario to me.

Plentyof people ignore, deny or just don’t recognise abuse going onaround them. This doesn’t necessarily come from a place of malice.A lot of people are genuinely unaware of the symptoms and so can’trecognise them. Some people are really attached to (or believe in)their organisation and so discount the evidence in front of them(consciously or not). Some people are just plain unobservant.

Afterregime changes and in times of crisis/upheaval torturers havetried to pass themselves off as survivors. And sometimes they’renot exactly lying: torturers areat risk of being tortured, both by their own ‘side’ and byopposing groups.

Whenthat notorious government comes down you can bet your boots that alot of prison guards end up in cells.

Andthere isn’t really a way to tell what kind of trauma was behindsomeone’s trauma-related symptoms. Except asking them and trustingwhat they say.

Whichbrings us to the big potential issue here.

Theidea that survivors could be lying about being tortured is regularlyused to justify denying them support. It’s used to justify puttingincredibly ill people under intense pressure. In reality this blockspeople from medical care, from counselling, from citizenshipapplications, from support in jobs, from housing.

Ithink that however you’re planning to tackle A, it’s an issue youneed to touch on. Even if it’s briefly. There’s a huge amount ofsuspicion levelled at survivors. The main thing that I think thisplot needs to avoid is adding to that.

PersonallyI wouldn't want to write this as a shock reveal or sudden twist. I'msure that something like that could be done sensitively but- boy itwould take some doing. Using complex and sensitive issues like thisas a shock reveal often ends up giving the message that suspicion isjustified. Whether that's what the writer wants or not.

Ifyou're writing this from B's perspective I'd suggest putting in hintsfor the readers that A's story doesn't stand up. Consistently andthroughout the story. I think- focusing on A's opinions and characterover his symptoms would be important with this approach. Hisopinions especially should be a red flag. By which I mean that hisopinions on torture need to come across as a red flag to the reader,even if they don't to B. That might be a bit of a tall order sincethe chances are most of the readers won't automatically think A's...supposed to be the bad guy. A lot of readers are probably going to bejust as ignorant about torture as B is.

HavingA voice justifications for torture probably won't be enough on it'sown. I think it would also be a good idea to pepper the story withhints at A's cruelty, little glimpses of brutality that B mightnotice but dismiss. Shouting at the secretary and then visiblygetting himself back under control. Seeing another member of theorganisation flinch away from A when he's angry. Having A punch awall or slap a piece of furniture suddenly making everyone in theroom jump. Little outbursts that B might be able to convince himselfaren't that big a deal.

Obviouslyif you're switching perspectives throughout the story or writing froma third person perspective this will probably be easier. A can beestablished as a torturer, a liar and a thoroughly bad lot early on.Tension then comes from waiting for B to find out and theanticipation of both A and B's responses.

Ithink that could really add to any story.

Itispossible for some one to be ignorant of torture going on in anorganisation around them. But torture isn’t going to be happeningin an organisation without a lot of people being aware what’s goingon. Torture doesn’t happen without the apathy or encouragement of aproportion of the organisation.

Italso causes fractures within organisations into people whotorture/support torture and people who oppose it. Something you canuse to hint at A’s abuse. There are likely to be a lot of people inthe organisation who avoid A, don’t like him and suspect him. Theymight try to warn B. Their behaviour could be a warning sign.

Torturersalso tend to form cliques within organisations, something to keep inmind for A. He’s unlikely to be the only torturer around, even ifhe’s the only one B has any contact with.

Beyondthat I think it is all about how you write it. Previous posts ontorturers and the effect of torture on organisations could be helpfulto you so it’s worth taking a look through the archive.

Ithink you’d also get a lot from Alleg’s TheQuestion,which is an account of his torture during the Franco-Algerian war.Alleg has quite a few observations on his torturers and how theyacted around him I’m- not entirely sure why, let’s call itinstinct, but your scenario and description of A reminded me ofAlleg’s account. It might also help give an idea of how torturefunctions within organisations.

Ihope that helps. :)

Availableon Wordpress.

Disclaimer

#tw torture #writing torturers #behaviour of torturers #effects of torture on organisations #attitudes towards torture survivors #torture apologia #Anonymous

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lawrenceop · 6 years

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Heavenly bodies, Holy practices

The following is a presentation I gave for a ‘Dominican Forum’ lunch hosted by CCLA Investment Managers in the City of London on 12 June 2018.

Fr Lawrence Lew OP looks at some of the influences, rituals and traditions from the Church and explains where they come from and their relevance in the 21st Century.

The Met Gala 2018, themed "Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination", caused some controversy in the media recently, with its haute couture outfits modelled on the iconography of saints and the sacred vestments of the Catholic liturgy.

At the same time, it served as a pointed reminder that the richness of our cultural heritage can capture the imagination even of a religiously sceptical secular world.

What does this say, then, for Catholic attempts to engage non-believers in dialogue? Should we shy away from the more exotic aspects of Catholic practice, or embrace them?

On one hand, today’s topic could be construed quite narrowly. We could limit ourselves to a discussion of the Met Gala 2018, or the exhibition – which I hope to view in August – but although I shall refer to it, I thought I should broaden the focus a little. On the other hand, to speak about culture, the dialogue of cultures and inculturation (as I had initially wanted to) seemed too broad for a short presentation.

So, this afternoon I will concentrate on material culture, that is, the objects we create and utilise and interact with. As material creatures, these objects say something about us as individuals and as a society, and they also help form us individually and collectively. This, I believe, is what the relatively new study of material culture is concerned with. When speaking about Catholic material culture, I will think principally of the things that we use in the Sacred Liturgy because this is where as individuals and as a community we create and use material objects. In particular, I am interested in how material culture can help engage people with the content of the Catholic Faith, so I shall speak a little about material culture and evangelisation. Finally, I hope to say something about the distinctiveness of Catholic material culture and belief, and the opportunity or challenge this poses in our world today.

When St Thomas Aquinas considers the necessity of the sacraments, he observes that “man is prone to direct his activity chiefly towards material things”. For it belongs to our bodily human nature to interact with material things, and we need to use tools to do things and to shape the material world we inhabit. The sacraments, therefore, are perfectly suited to our human nature as we are “led by things corporeal and sensible to things spiritual and intelligible.” However, we also make and use material things in order to express our spiritual natures, that is to say, we externalise our beliefs, our ideas, our concepts, our history, our identity. Hence, the sacramental rites and Liturgy of the Church have, over two thousand years and spanning many cultures, given rise to a rich and varied range of objects. I would include church buildings among the material objects we interact with, as well as items of clothing, liturgical vessels like the chalice, and finally, the matter for the sacraments themselves: bread, wine, oil, water.

When it comes to divine worship, the impulse has been to give the very best and finest of material culture, the most beautiful that we can muster, to God. This is fitting if we consider the effort and time taken as a sacrificial act of love for God. Moreover, giving God our best is a reflection of what God has done for us, and an act of gratitude. For God has given us this material world – “the earth and its fullness”, as the psalmist says, comes from God, and he creates it out of love. Indeed, St Thomas would say that God created the material world for the sake of us material creatures, so that he can manifest his wisdom and goodness and love to us through the vast wonder and beauty of the universe! The medieval Gothic cathedral, therefore, was often a representation of the entire cosmos offered up to God in thanks and worship. So Umberto Eco observes, as the cosmos revealed to man the glory of God, so “the cathedrals sought to reiterate this discourse: they “actualised a synthetic vision of man, of his history, of his relation to the universe… The cathedrals, the highest artistic achievement of medieval civilization, became a surrogate for nature” that tells forth the glory of God.

In a materialistic culture such as ours, the Faith-filled motivation behind a great cathedral can be forgotten or ignored. Sometimes the cathedral is viewed along Marxist terms as an example of the power of the Church who used the donations and labour of the poor to build the cathedral. Or the cathedral is said to be a symbol of the oppressive dominance of the Church in medieval society. Or one can enter a church and see only riches and wealth – many have visited St Peter’s Basilica, or even the Rosary Shrine, and then wrongly surmised that the church is rich; but from the very beginning rich works of art to beautify the Liturgy have been given to the church by pious benefactors as acts of devotion to God or a saint. Unfortunately, if one reads the world through a materialistic or corporate lens, then one can and will view church architecture purely in political-economic terms – much depends on the eye of the beholder.

The people who built the first Gothic cathedrals were aware of this. The central portal of the abbey of Saint-Denis in Paris has this inscription: “Passerby, who is stirred to praise the beauty of these doors, do not let yourself be dazzled by the gold or by the magnificence, but rather by the painstaking work. Here a famous work shines out, but may Heaven deign that this famous work that shines make spirits resplendent so that, with the luminous truth, they may walk toward the true light, where Christ is the true door”. As St Thomas said, through through “corporeal and sensible” things we are to be led to “things spiritual and intelligible”, to Christ.

In focussing upon material culture and in using them as points for dialogue with our contemporaries, then, it is vital that we keep Christ at the centre; that we allow their beauty to point us to Him who is, as St Augustine said, “Beauty so ancient and so new”. Indeed, in speaking of the created world or of things created by human invention, we can say with St Paul that “all things were created through him and for him” (Col 1:16). So, the beauty of nature, and the marvellous order and logic that scientists find in creation speak of the Logos through whom all things were made. Hence, the bejewelled Gospel book cover or the illuminated Book of Hours points to the surpassing value of the Word of God; the golden monstrance recalls the infinite value of the Eucharist. To gain Christ, St Paul had said: “I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as refuse” (Phil 3:8). And the priestly vestments, ultimately, are about putting on Christ, and acquiring the virtues of the New Man (cf Gal 3:27) as the Priest stands at the Altar in persona Christi. In speaking about icons and religious art, the use of colour also indicates what the Church truly values. Gold (found in the background of icons and mosaic domes, for example) is not, as many people tend to think, a sign of wealth. Nor was it simply to give us a pretty reflective surface for the candlelight. Gold was incorruptible – it did not tarnish – and so it became associated with the spiritual which did not corrupt and with the heavenly realm which was eternal. Hence the saints and Christ are depicted in gold robes or golden environments, as a sign of the closeness of heaven, the eternal, the spiritual. Conversely, for us blue is associated with the sky and so with heaven. Our Lady, therefore, is said to be clothed in blue. But the Bible says she is clothed with the sun, not with blue. Why then, this use of aquamarine? As the name of the colour implies, blue pigment came from across the sea, derived from lapis lazuli mined in Afghanistan. It was so costly to obtain that it was more precious than gold. Out of love for Mary, patrons asked that she be painted in blue because they wanted to give her the best, the most priceless pigments they could afford.

Unfortunately, to many non-believers (and not a few Catholics too), sacred art and architecture can all look like conspicuous consumption; sacred art and chantry chapels regarded as prestige items acquired by the rich and powerful. Indeed, the Met Gala demonstrates to us what happens when the Christocentric focus is removed from the Church’s material culture, when they are no longer used in the Liturgy for divine worship: they become mere precious objet d’art, signs of wealth, adornments for the rich and influential.

The problem, I think, is that we have been somewhat naive in thinking dialogue is achieved simply because there is a common interest or because one is interested in Catholic material culture. However, Bishop Robert Barron, who is at the forefront of dialogue with our culture, makes an observation about a problematic in this kind of assumption. He notes that the call for dialogue “has come almost exclusively from the church and not from the culture… Rarely if ever have I heard of representatives of the culture eager to submit their manner of thinking and behaviour to the discipline of the church or to make themselves intelligible to religious people”. The result is the kind of display we saw at the Met Gala. In fact, almost twenty years ago, Pope St John Paul II observed that “handing on the Gospel message in today’s world is particularly arduous, mainly because our contemporaries are immersed in cultural contexts that are often alien to an inner spiritual dimension, in situations in which a materialist outlook prevails.” So, we must beware that “culture is not the interpretative lens for the Church”. Rather, as Barron says, “it’s Christ, and everything must be read through him”.

Drawing upon Blessed John Henry Newman’s thought, Barron suggests that “a healthy Church has the power of assimilation, just as a robust organism draws into itself and adapts to its purposes certain features of its world, and it throws off other elements that would compromise or threaten its essential structure. Newman observes that an unhealthy animal will, soon enough, itself be assimilated by the stronger animals around it. So, the Church ought to reach out to the world but never allow the world to set the agenda for the Church. To assimilate is to take in what it can and resist what it must.”

Pope John Paul II said a similar thing about inculturation. It is “making the Gospel incarnate in different cultures and at the same time introducing peoples, together with their cultures, into her own community”, taking in the best of a culture but rejecting whatever is alien to the Gospel. One thinks, for example, of what St Thomas Aquinas said when he was accused of watering down the Gospel with the pagan philosophy of Aristotle. He replied: “I am turning water into wine”. Indeed, just as grace perfects nature, so a culture can and must be perfected by the Gospel. But this requires confidence in the Truth of the Gospel, a confidence that comes from studying sound theology and knowing the riches of Catholic thought and traditions well, so that we are firmly founded on Christ. At the same time, one must be attentive to the culture, and become opportunistic in using those things that are buzzing in popular culture as bridges to the Gospel, to talk about our Faith and explain Christ to the sceptical.

Finally, a thought about Catholic distinctiveness or oddity. We should beware of “beige Catholicism”. This is the dumbing down of our Faith and its traditions and our material culture so as to make it as “non-threatening, accessible, culturally appealing as possible”. However, there is something different, odd, challenging, and culture-transforming about Jesus! But, as the Dominican spiritual theologian Paul Murray says, “we preach a wine of truth that we have actually tasted ourselves, and have drunk with living faith and joy.” So, if we’re to be different, let it be a joyful, faithful difference that leads others to Jesus Christ. Let our counter-cultural Christian lives not be exercises in eccentricity and difference for its own sake, but let them bear witness to the One who makes the most crucial difference in our lives. For as Pope Blessed Paul VI said over forty years ago: “the first means of evangelization is the witness of an authentically Christian life… [for] modern man listens more willingly to witnesses than to teachers, and if he does listen to teachers, it is because they are witnesses.”

#beauty #culture #faith #Catholic #Met Gala 2018 #material culture #inculturation #assimilation #art #sacred

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ingek73 · 4 years

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The Royal Family, The Media and ‘SussExit’ – Part 4

Zanye Linda August 18, 2020

The British Royal Family, The Media and 'SussExit'

It is often said that the Monarchy is a representation of British society. One of the ways they have managed to survive is by re-branding themselves to appeal to the mood of the country. In 1914, strong anti-German sentiments within Britain caused sensitivity among the royal family about its German roots and so in 1917, King George VI decreed the royal surname change from Saxe-Coburg-Gotha to Windsor. When Harry met a mixed-race American woman, the royal family saw another opportunity to rebrand themselves as a modern monarchy, representing multi-cultural Britain, one that is diverse and inclusive, especially in light of Brexit, and they had the headlines to prove it. Or maybe, others saw it for them.

Modern Monarchy Sussexit

Royal Wedding Sussexit

Change is essence of monarchy claims The Telegraph

The institution basked in the publicity of Harry and Meghan’s nuptials and was eager to accrue the benefits that come with being diverse and inclusive. Like many organisations today, it appears that the diversity is only in name and hardly backed up by the organizational structures. Meghan became the token black person giving the monarchy the appearance of being open and inclusive. Many black and brown people encounter this phenomenon on a daily basis in their work spaces and is the reason why very quickly, the overt and covert racism in Meghan’s coverage by the media was called out. It was like a transplant of personal experiences for many.

Just like the charity work the royal family uses to justify their existence and continual draw on millions of pounds from the public purse, openness and inclusivity was a ‘sham’. There was never any intention to do the work that comes with being a diverse and inclusive institution. There is hardly any diversity in the royal household, and it appears they were sorely lacking cultural competency as an organization. How is that that, being clear and direct about work expectations is somehow seen as confrontational?

It really is quite puzzling considering that, this is an institution that has realms outside of the UK, and attempts to wield some influence via its leadership of the commonwealth. What does it really say, that the royal household was simply incapable of accommodating a bi-racial woman- a highly productive one too. Or maybe they just refused to make room for her. Black and brown Commonwealth natives should be questioning why they are okay to be counted in the umbrella of influence of Britain and its monarchy, but are not quite welcome into the corridors of leadership.

Further, the Royal Rota that covers the activities of this institution is also quite homogeneous. It is the reason why so-called journalists use problematic language without a second thought. There is no diversity of background, thought or experience, and as a result, you have a group of people sharing information from a narrow, uninformed perspective. Unsurprisingly, you do end up with fluffy superficial and gossipy nonsense, packaged as news. If you’ve read their cover stories of engagements, you will see that for the most part, there are just a handful who are capable of capturing the depth and substance of some important work that a few of the royals do.

Harry and Meghan do not see it as enough to simply show up for public engagements, shake hands and say a couple of words before returning to their privileged lives. They have a demonstrable commitment to using their position to bring about change for the issues they care about, a concept that is not entirely foreign to the royal family when you consider Prince Charles’ many years of activism. It appears that, they did not anticipate Meghan to excel in her ‘royal’ role and to remain committed to using her platform for good. Here was a woman, a working royal, who within a short span of 18 months was able to deliver solid impactful projects, in addition to the run of the mill royal fare.

Together with her husband, they ushered in an approachable way of ‘royaling’ that appealed to many, thus drawing more eyes onto the institution. On social media, it was quite common to see tweets from some self-described republicans, expressing a level of personal conflict because they found themselves liking a royal. There is something to be said for the ‘traditional’ way the royals like to do things. Whether it’s for comfort or identification, it’s all well and good. If the monarchy is so concerned with popularity -which appears to be the driving force behind all the scheming and cut throat dealings- It is unfathomable, that they actively drove away assets that extended their reach across demographic, generational and geographic landscapes.

They say a rising tide lifts all boats. Because of the interest in Harry and Meghan, networks in America were covering their engagements, and it wasn’t uncommon for producers to tag other royal family members’ activities to these Sussex reports on Good Morning America or Today Show on NBC for instance. Outside of major events like weddings or births, American media would never have reported on typical royal engagements. The appetite for that simply didn’t exist.

“The problem with these two(Harry& Meghan) is that they want to do, rather than to be”.

Tim Shipman

Rather than embrace the positive public response, the institution instead royally screws itself on behalf of some fragile egos. As Tim Shipman put it, “The problem with these two(Harry& Meghan) is that they want to do, rather than to be”. I think this sums it up perfectly. Being royal is a carefully crafted PR game – a public image created by media hype men and women in which they appear to be doing charity work, but mostly delivering zero impact all while being fiercely protected from public scrutiny; as one person put in on Twitter – ‘Britain’s favourite Ponzi Scheme’. The monarchists are quite happy to pay for the performance, and now they are left with the royals they deserve.

In October 2018 when the smear campaign against Meghan kicked off, Robert Jobson reported that William “is extremely competitive with members of his family when it comes to media coverage and was especially salty about Meghan and Harry’s appearance in Cardiff in January”. The fact that Harry and Meghan were getting a lot of the media coverage bothered William and his court headed by Simon Case. It was after he joined the team that the tone of coverage around Meghan changed. The agenda was simple; anything Harry and Meghan was given a negative spin, period. Facts be damned, double standards be damned. Remember Simon Case was the man behind Will and Kate’s budget flight publicity stunt.

In an attempt to discredit the Duke and Duchess of Sussex and turn the public against them, the team at Kensington Palace worked with the UK media and their global counterparts to launch a smear campaign with the Duchess as their primary target. With total palace backing, the media were emboldened to print lies, ridicule and undermine Meghan’s initiatives, invade the couple’s privacy, bribe former friends and colleagues of Meghan to malign her character. As recently released court documents show, Kensington palace denied Meghan the right to reply to anything written about her, a directive that was extended to those closest to her. At the same time, all her paternal relatives were free to appear on and be compensated by UK networks, to say the most disparaging things about her unchallenged.

Simon Rex claims he was offered money to lie about Meghan

Harry paid damages over photos of his Oxfordshire home

Court documents refute tabs lies

The media with support of the palace used everything they had against the couple. Byline Investigates, captured the whole operation well in their article titled Why Harry and Meghan Move is Really About Dishonest Journalism writing in part that the media are “flogging racist and misogynist myth of a ‘difficult’, mixed-race American woman preying on a vulnerable prince”.

There was clearly a pattern of bullying and harassment driven by jealousy at play, which in part involved constant briefings about the couple by palace officials, the most prominent being their plan to step back as senior royals. This particular case may develop legal legs RE Prince Harry and the Sun newspaper. It is alleged that the SUN paid the partner of a royal aide Christian Jones, who still works in the court of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, for sensitive briefings. This leak followed a pattern of behaviour on the part of palace officials who constantly sold stories to the media, many of which later on turned out to be false. The media went ahead and printed them knowing there would be no repercussions because the palace had taken away from the couple the right to push-back under the selectively applied royal practice “don’t complain, don’t explain”.

Amidst the lies, leaks and constant negative briefings the royal family sent Harry and Meghan out on public engagements and royal tours expecting them to work with the very same people that dedicated column inches and airtime to abusing and tormenting them. This created a toxic workplace and there was no attempt by the royal family to remedy the situation that was taking a serious toll on the couple’s mental health. I don’t know anyone who would love to work perpetually in such a toxic environment.

When Harry and Meghan made their future plans public one of the conditions put forward was very simple. They no longer wished participate in the Royal Rota, as it currently operates. Members of the rota get a front seat to all events and are expected to share information with journalists outside the rota. If the rota put their own spin on events, how can we expect to get fair reporting? I would argue that this monopoly is what has emboldened them to sacrifice their integrity for propaganda. As a result, we see foreign media quoting these same problematic reporters and inviting some as experts on panels.

Contrary to media( read Royal Rota) reports that Harry and Meghan’s refusal to participate in the rota system was done to avoid media scrutiny, the couple wished to bring more transparency to their work by giving access to a more diversified media pool, subject matter journalists and media organisations that don’t have a quid-pro-quo relationship with the House of Windsor and in doing so subjecting themselves to even greater scrutiny. They understood that in choosing not to work with the Royal Rota, they would need to give up public funding, hence the need to pursue financial independence like some other current members within the family.

In the end their requests were denied and there has been a clean break. It has turned out to be a blessing because there are no bothersome entanglements with an institution that is invested in their sabotage. They were eager to use them as a foil – to distract the public when those within the family were alleged to have cheated on their spouses, had sex with underage girls or misappropriated charity funds. And then trot them out on public engagements, royal tours or to generate positive sentiment within the Commonwealth.

Meghan’s treatment at the hands of the establishment was dehumanising; she was commoditised, made into a thing to be used and abused by the powerful forces that pursued her mother-in-law to her death. That is why her husband, Prince Harry made the decision to step back as a senior working royal and move his family to another continent. It was always going to be untenable, based on the institution’s stance with the couple. When they failed to defend Archie from racist abuse, it telegraphed the story. Harry’s slightly tinged family will never be protected.

To protect them and avoid the same fate that led to his mother’s untimely death, they have rightly and wisely removed themselves from that destructive environment.

For once, we have a Windsor who is actually taking his marriage vow before God seriously. He swore to love and protect. He’s doing exactly that, and now they’re home – their own home. May love, peace and prosperity abound wherever they are

#meghan markle #prince harry #royals #duke of sussex #duchess of sussex #brf #meghanpedia #royal rota #british royal family #toxic tabloids #duke and duchess of sussex

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decoding1432 · 7 years

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Parents & Friends

Some stans have picked sides due to the parent’s behaviour on SM. Just the way some reflect all the hate collected from other stans onto the girls, it’s the same deal when it comes to their parents. Due to the fact that certain people can’t stand them, they decide to whether unstan or throw shit at the girls for it.

If you don’t think all these subtle shade going on is done with a purpose, try to give it a second thought.

The thing with this whole “shading” is that we've got two viewpoints:

From Camila’s side we saw how her parents stopped acknowledging the group & this happened since the fighting days. Now, let's put ourselves in the Cabellos’ shoes for a moment:

Imagine one day your daughter & her bandmates are played such a dirty trick & they cut communication. (Yes, I still believe this is how all went down). Anyway back to our scenario, now thanks to this they are not on speaking terms anymore. Your daughter releases her first solo project. It's important for her. However the people pulling the group strings are setting her in a very dark position. They are painting her in a very negative light in front of her fans.

Around those days, you log into your Twitter account several times & you see one fan turns against her. But as time passes by that one “fan” multiplicates & turns into 10 more haters. Then 50, then 100 & so it goes on & on. The situation worsens. Now, your daughter starts receiving hateful tweets 24/7. Your daughter starts getting sick. Her mental health state is seriously compromised but the people behind her career are doing nothing to help the situation, in fact they are making it more toxic for her. The issue with her bandmates is still not solved. The haters seem unstoppable at this point… Your daughter is mentally exhausted to a point where she describes her anxieties having anxieties.

That continues for a year. Along the way your daughter & her bandmates rekindled their bond. But it’s not all bright again since they must not give that away on camera. Another thing to add is that her bandmates are told not to defend her on SM to make the haters cease. Tell me are you happy with the brand & the poisonous environment they created around your daughter? The answer is obvious.

Let’s take a look at 5H’s angle. The way I see it, you’re a 40-50 year old & you spend your days bashing a 20 year old through Twitter... immaturity at its finest, right?

The tricky aspect here is that the parents’ wishes contradict their actions.

E.g. The parents want hatred to stop. Some like Mama Dre have expressed it & also it’s not even necessary to have this captured on a tweet to understand. Anyhow, they want the hate to cease but they encourage haters with their comments? Logic 2+2= potato

Now, personally the moment Mike started being shady that seemed fishy af to me. We’re talking about the same person that liked C’s departure letter (apparently he unliked it a little after, not really sure). Anyway, even if he didn’t, he was always all about the five girls & one of the non-problematic ones before the mess started unraveling. It makes sense that they started using him, not only to cut all ties with Camren but to influence the stans more strongly as well.

I asked lawyerlarry if this has happened with their boys, using their relatives to mold or push the narrative. This was her answer:

Since we don’t know what type of contract the girls are under we can’t know for sure if the parents are completely obligated. However one thing is for sure, clearly as a parent you’re going to want the best for your kid.

I’m bringing back some points I’ve written about this same subject in a past masterpost…

TV anon: “The thing about the parents is that THEY ARE PARENTS so they are gonna be protective and going to support their child 100%. Now, the moment the girls became legal, the parents are off negotiations or meetings so the only thing they know is what their daughters told them (and we don’t know how restrictive the contract is or even if the girls go and spill full deets to their parents) and you are right, their behavior is very contradictory, even from parents of the same child. Example, Lauren’s parents. Her dad it’s super supportive of the 5 of them and her mom is really over the top, to be honest lol. I have seen them throwing shade and then talking about supporting the 5 of them so maybe the shade is for the label. Or at some point it was for Camila but then they got informed and realized the situation, who knows. Let’s not forget, they don’t belong to the industry so they don’t know how to handle situations like these. Such as their children, they are too emotional. The parents and friends subject is tricky, cause who knows how much they know/or don’t know.”

Every single time I get worried I might be overthinking I return to the question told above: If they know they are only worsening their situation & attracting more toxicity toward their daughters why would they continue with this childish behaviour? Also the girls are not stupid, cause even if these were truly their parents’ actions don’t doubt they wouldn’t stop them.

Once more, this applies to their parents. When it comes to other relatives like Leilani, we're completely unaware of how close she's or not with Dinah, let alone the rest of the girls. She could be throwing shade in order to help them or simply she’s an attention seeker. For all we know a) she could have been told an alternate story along the way b) she is acquainted with only a very small part of the truth c) nothing at all & she knows just as much as we do.

When it comes to friends, let alone not their closest friends, we can coincide that they surely don’t know the story from head to toe but since they’re familiar with the girls at a certain extent they claim to for the sake of rts & attention. Dealing with the parents topic is ambiguous. “I think the parents ought to know everything, don’t fool yourself, why would the girls keep things from them?” Believe it or not, there’s always possibility. Here I consider a list of reasons why it COULD be true:

TV anon couldn’t have said it better…

When the girls became legal, procedures & regulations on the entertainment business gave a 180 degrees turn.

Non-disclosure agreements are a common thing in the industry.

Thus far none of the girls has shaded each other. Although, other people have accomplished a fraction of this “dirty work” for them. Such as friends, crew team members, & their parents. What I’ve caught on this culmination of “bitterness” is that it’s quite contradictory. To elaborate: Lucy shaded Camila around two or three weeks later by liking one IG post that was referring to C as “Canola”. What I found funny is how less than a month before, Lucy literally appeared on Dinah’s livestream hanging with her & Camila at their bus.

When I wrote that, the BB 5H issue hadn’t come out yet. Also these past few days, Lucy has publicly shown her support for Camila on SM. Also let’s add, she isn’t the only connection from Lauren that’s been doing this lately...

Now, some of LAND’s friends have publicly supported C. To me, it hints at the bigger picture that the ladies are in good terms. Some of you might disagree, maybe you consider they’re not friends any longer. Fine that’s your POV, but I don’t share that perspective. Not because I refuse to let go OT5 or anything remotely similar, but like I’ve said numerous times before, the fact that the girls knew about C leaving since 2015 & all the moments we had along 2016 I consider it a sign that they were able to somewhat fix whatever issues they had a year before.

Even if you agree or not with me on their current friendship status, you can’t deny the following: LAND doesn’t speak badly about Camila bts unlike what media wants to make us believe.

(Fun fact: Josh liked the following two days after the split announcement)

Enough with Josh (he stans Camila hard lol) Let’s check the rest of their friends...

I would insert here the videos of Simone & Sydney jamming to CITC, unfortunately I couldn’t download them but that doesn’t me we must not take them into account as well.

Next one might not be recent but reminder that Normani wrote as part of those thoughts: “I have love and respect for all four of my bandmates whether you choose to believe it or not” “I have to address foolishness manufactured by those that have absolutely no idea what goes on” “For those who enjoy speculating and creating drama that doesn’t exist, please keep in mind that myself and the other girls in the group are PEOPLE” etc...

Out of all their friends or people they’ve worked with, in my opinion, when Angie (their temporary guitarist after Ashlee left) commented on C’s IG post is the one proof that I would take over any of the above to pinpoint that THIS...

...doesn’t reflect any of THIS...

In conclusion, I believe that the relatives & some friends are attempting to help the girls as much as they can. I repeat, it’s uncertain how much the girls are allowed to tell them. But some things are undeniably true... They (parents & friends) know how fucked up this business is, they have seen how much the 5 ladies have struggled in these past years. If there’s something they can’t do, is stop this madness. They can’t break the system, they can’t protect them from this industry. But they can try to fulfill part of the “dirty work”, otherwise I’m sure it would have to come directly from the girls. Don’t judge them, they are willing to do anything if it means taking some of the burden off of the girls’ shoulders. How do I know this latter? Cause I might only be a fan but I would do it too.

Question: if you had a friend or a relative in they industry, would you doubt putting yourself in the spotlight for a second in order to give them a hand?

P.S. Alejandro liked Clara’s “shady” tweet that was supposedly aimed at Camila.

#sorry if it took too long but i've been trying to put my life in order #hope you enjoyed it #next time you choose to call out their parents think about how much they love their kids

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dontbeallupinmyfriesdawg · 7 years

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So I hate used to really ship Klaroline but lately my mind has been breaking on them. Idk I just think Klaus has done too many bad things to her and her friends to give him a second chance. Can you change my mind? Why do you ship them so hard?

Hi, okay so Idk if I’m going to be able to change ur mind because at the end of the day you feel how you feel. A lot of times I’ve doubted my shipping of Klaroline so ur not alone. The thing I wanna tell you before I start is that shipping is supposed to be fun so pls do not agonise over it; if it’s still fun, do it, if not, don’t.

(Warning: Anti D*mon and Dullena)

*cracks knuckles*

Firstly you have to remember when it comes to the issue of Klaroline being problematic, is that that all ships that stem from tvd or TO are inherently problematic. This is because the show its self is problematic. It’s misogynistic, it’s systematically racist and most relationships on the show put the female character at a distinct disadvantage. So very few ships can be seen as healthy or idealistic in the real world. I might say Stelena, Jolaric, and Jalaric are rare examples but even then those ships have their various issues.

Secondly, even if the writers and the CW, in general, did a better job with their shows, you have to remember that this is the vampire genre. It’s meant to be gothic and the characters are meant to be morally dodgy, selfish and do horrifying things. TVD’s mistake was that it could never properly straddle the line between keeping up that gothic theme and appealing to a teen audience (hence the babies, and romanticising of characters that are clearly villains, - cough, cough Damon) so often they put too much emphasis on morality and people being either ‘good’ or ‘bad; even though supposedly good characters like: Matt, Bonnie, Caroline and Elena do bad, selfish things all the time. (More detail in point 3)

Because Klaus was conceptualised when TVD was actually half good and they were still writing a show about vampires; dark, twisted, immoral, seductive, vampires; he hence is a product of that. Klaus is a vampire in the true sense. I don’t believe a person can be a Klaroline shipper unless they accept the fact that Klaus is not a good person. He’s not supposed to be and that’s part of what makes his dynamic with Caroline so interesting. Love, or infatuation/affection, doesn’t change him. Yes, he does things deviant to his ‘cold hearted bastard’ persona. The gifts, deviating from his evil plans for Caroline’s sake, showing mercy, reasoning, barging when he doesn’t have to etc… But none of these things makes him redeemable. This isn’t one of those ships where love makes the person more moral and good. In fact, in Caroline’s case, I’m quite sure it does the opposite - or would do, had they gotten more screen time - Caroline is very in denial about her vampirism. She constantly makes claims about how she’s a ‘good vampire’ (an oxymoron in its self) and is characterised as ‘judgy’ because she demands such a high moral standard from other people around her. And while yes, she is exceptionally good at controlling her urges and at self-discipline (likely a result of being under Stefan’s self-denying mentoring program and learning about vampirism from someone who detests it because of his own lack of control) Caroline still does terrible things often just because it’s convenient for her or because it’s ‘what it takes to get the job done’. Caroline’s often the most level-headed out of all her friends when it comes to doing something immoral in aid of the greater good, in fact, she’s almost eerily ruthless, especially if said action if in aid of helping one of her friends. (See the slaughtering of the 12 witches for Bonnie’s sake). But Caroline doesn’t see that, she also very scarcely acknowledges how much she loves being a vampire and from day 1, Klaus has been perceptive of how much she does. From when he saves her life, to when he intuits that she doesn’t want the cure and predicts that small town life wouldn’t be enough for her + encouraging her to think outside of the box and use her vampire abilities to get a dress for prom. Even his smug little recital of what Caroline says in 5x11 (’in school, building a life for her self, plans… etc’) shows that he knows that Caroline is just playing herself with her whole ‘mission to be normal’ (e.g: being in school - whic she dropped out of - playing house with Alaric and the babies, being with Stefan, who was always ‘the perfect guy’ in Caroline’s mind, because of the pedestal she put him on, denying herself the true pleasures of vampirism). Furthermore one of the most poignant Klaroline scenes for me is when Klaus is burying the 12 witches and calls Caroline out because not a few hours ago she’s called him a terrible person, because he did terrible things and now here they are staring at the corpses of the witches Caroline killed for Bonnie, while also, inadvertently, enabling an evil, supernatural being to rise from the dead and raise hell. on mankind. For a Klaroline shipper the moment is agonising because Klaus passes up the opportunity to be a shoulder for Caroline to cry on but at the end of the day it was something she needed to hear and quite frankly doesn’t hear enough. As long as you’re a vampire and you feed of human flesh, lie, compel, steal, murder at your own leisure; as long as you’re a witch/human/hunter who enables or condones it, you cannot claim to be ‘good’ whatever that’s supposed to mean.

The most important thing, in my opinion, to remember about Klaroline as a ship is that Klaus’s actions are never presented as okay. Caroline never tolerates anything he does and constantly calls him out on his behaviour, furthermore, the show doesn’t romanticise him or excuse/ignore his behaviour. In contrast characters like Damon, who magically become the hero because it’s the only convenient way to put him with Elena. Elena’s love is supposed to change him and make him a better person but we see no evidence of this on the show, Damon’s his same rapey, abusive self all 8 seasons. But with Klaus, no excuses are made. He’s not supposed to magically turn good, you ask why I ship them so hard? It’s because 9/10 in all their scenes together and in their dynamic in general Caroline always has agency and nearly always has the upper hand, even when she’s dying. She manipulates Klaus into saving her life (”I know you’re in love with me’ ‘I guess we’ll never know’) in fact I’m convinced that Caroline used her A1 drama skills in that last part where Caroline makes those little croaky dying noises and was actually laying it on thick so that Klaus would be moved enough to save her- which he did. Caroline constantly manipulates Klaus and uses her emotional upper hand against him (’Show me I can trust you’ ‘I was promised a date for one of my hybrids’ ‘Show me your compassion’). So the relationship doesn’t just purely consist of Klaus doing horrible thing to Caroline and her friends and getting away with it. It’s far more complicated than that, there’s a power struggle involved and it’s extremely gripping and intriguing.

When it comes down to it, Caroline was Klaus’ first choice, unlike many other TVD relationships, their’s is centered around Caroline (take dullena for example, even in a show centred entirely around elena, every bit of their relationship is all about Damon, or he finds a way to make it about him). Like I said Caroline has the agency, the emphasis is on her future, her hopes, her dreams and ultimately he respects her wishes, leaves mystic falls gives her space and waits for her to be ready.

I hope that helps or gives you some perspective. Anyone who wants to chime in please feel free to add something else.

#klaroline #klaroline meta #klaus x caroline #klaroline shippers club #tvd #the vampire diaries #klaus and caroline #tvd meta #anti damon #anti dullena #kc #Anonymous

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penalteaze · 7 years

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Can I ask you how you got into supporting both clubs? I have been following you for a long time and I know I followed you because of Arsenal while now you blog a lot more about Spurs. You try not to say who you support more, but it's obvious to me that you switched from one club to the other. I just wonder how and why you started watching games of both clubs? You are probably tired of all the questions, but I think a lot of people just find it interesting you support both clubs. Have a nice day!

Oh, this is actually a very good question, I think I’ll write all this down now so I can refer to it whenever people decide to become problematic again (which will probably be somewhere in the next few months lol). This is going to be looooong (just a little warning).

I never liked football, I found it boring and unnecessary. That probably had to do with my hometown club being abysmal. I went to one game when I was 8 and it was booooring (0-0, and not the good one) and since then they’ve been fighting relegation year after year #NurDerHSV. Also, my family aren’t the biggest football fanatics out there.

I watched World Cup games and enjoyed them because I liked the atmosphere and then I properly got into it during the latter stages of Euro 2016. That’s not too long ago.

I started following a few football blogs on tumblr and (as many of you probably know) most of them were Arsenal blogs. So I started researching a bit, found their Youtube channel and well, the rest is history.

I started liking Arsenal before the 16/17 season had even started, I didn’t fall in love with them for the exquisite football they (can) play but because I liked the vibe of the club and the players (the media team is doing a great job I guess). Also, there was just the most content out there about them and I had no idea about football, I knew goals were scored and that was about it (lol, not quite, but you know what I mean).

So I read and watched as much as I could. When I like something, I want to know everything about it and I think my football knowledge has gotten a lot better in the last few months. I can only dream of having all the memories some of you guys have, but that will come with time.

I started watching the Premier League (because of Arsenal) and I found to enjoy it a lot. Personally, I’m not the biggest fan of the Bundesliga (I’m from northern Germany and the clubs here are s h i t). I support BVB but I find the league rather boring, because we all know who’s going to win it in the end. Also, I sadly don’t speak any languages apart from German and English which makes those two leagues the most accessible for me. I like Spanish football, but I just can’t really connect with the clubs/players because I can’t understand them. I love England and the English language and so the EPL became “my“ league.

Well, three games in to the season and I. Was. Obsessed. I loved it so much! I loved Arsenal, we were playing great (let’s ignore that Liverpool result) and it all seemed pretty amazing. I enjoyed hating Tottenham and I also wanted to learn as much as I could about the EPL, so I watched every game possible, trying to understand how football actually works.

During that period I started liking Liverpool for the way they play and many other clubs for nice players or cool fans. Today I can say there is only one club in the EPL I absolutely despise. There are a few I just don’t care about, but many others I have no hard feelings towards at all. I’m a fan of two clubs only though, I define that as watching every game and being affected by the results.

So how did I start supporting rivals? Firstly, I found that rivalry super interesting from day one, I was laughing at Spurs for how bad they were and how good we were.

I can’t even tell you how it started exactly, because I just can’t remember, but I think it has to do with the international break. I still had to pick a backup NT (I’m German, but Die Mannschaft really isn’t my favourite team out there) and as I liked the English league, the English NT followed.

(Spurs fans better not read this next part, lolz). I instantly liked Dele and Eric and their chemistry, was 27534634 pages deep into their tags and just couldn’t not like them. I mean, look at them, I’m pretty sure most people can agree with me in saying they are absolutely adorable. I told my best friend (and fellow football fan) about them and she loved them too. A lot more than I did. I liked Dele and Eric, she liked Dele and Eric of Tottenham Hotspur. I just wanted them to move clubs so I could officially love them.

But you can’t deny that Spurs play amazing, attractive football and when I started watching their games (for D&E), I couldn’t stop myself form secretly cheering for them.

The first NLD of the season came by and I was a die hard Arsenal fan, I wanted us to kill Spurs and freaking put them in their place. 1-1 was probably a fair result in the end, but I wasn’t happy with that.

And then it kinda just happened. I started liking everyone on that team, they are a family and it’s absolutely adorable, Pochettino is amazing and their football makes you happy when you watch it. I don’t really expect you to understand it, but that’s how it was/is for me.

Then there came the time of 5:1’s and underwhelming performances, but I never stopped supporting Arsenal. I was sad and I needed cheering up (lol, this sounds like I’m about to cheat on my husband) and Spurs were there, playing good football, getting results. They were my source of happiness during times when Arsenal were disappointing.

I think it’s quite normal to have a “second“ team to cheer you up a bit when you’re down, it just so happened that Spurs became mine.

At the end of January a very lovely girl messaged me and asked me to join a group chat where we could talk about Spurs and football in general. The people in that chat are now amazing friends to me and I love them all so much. All of them are Spurs fans and I’m pretty sure they play a huge part in my shift of affiliation 😅.

I have met many amazing people here, so many Arsenal fans too! I’ve even been to a game with two of them and it was an amazing experience. I only feel love for both Arsenal and Spurs fans, they are amazing people.

The Spurs fandom on here is much smaller however and (in my personal opinion) a bit more chill, which is something I’ve started to embrace. I’m a very dramatic and pessimistic person and all ze drama isn’t the best for me I think.

So yeah, if you haven’t noticed already, I supported Spurs in yesterday’s NLD and I will probably do so in the future too. If you have a problem with that, I fully understand and won’t be mad if you want to unfollow me.

I don’t say who I support anywhere on my blog (I have before in posts, but not in my bio or anything) because I don’t think it is that important. I post whatever I like to and most of my posts are bad memes anyways.You will continue seeing Arsenal posts on my blog, because I will continue loving them, but there will also be Spurs, Liverpool and other EPL clubs featuring.

Maybe, if I had known about Tottenham Hotspur earlier, I’d have fallen for that club from the beginning, maybe not. It doesn’t really matter anyways, because it is how it is and I love the club and everyone around it.Still, Arsenal is the club that made me fall in love with football and I will always love them for that. I want both my clubs to do well.

I feel like I am where I want to be now, I am happy and no person telling me that I’m not a true supporter or a disgrace to football will change my mind. This is who I am and I’m certainly not ashamed of the football clubs I like.

No amount of nice, insightful or even hateful asks will change anything about this situation. I don’t think my behaviour is hurting anyone, at least that isn’t my intention.

I know there are other people out there who are falling for both teams and I just want to say, I really don’t see the problem. You do you. 💗

#so here it is #this is a freaking essay #but the truth is out #and if you have a problem with that maybe it's time to leave #love you a lots #keep

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