#i’m weirdly more nervous about posting this on here than on twitter

[vaxieth]

because something really did ask, have a much too long post about my thoughts on laudna’s individual dynamics with the rest of bells hells.

under the cut because it’s almost 3000 words.

laudna/imogen

i struggle to find something to say about imogen and laudna that hasn’t already been said a million times before. the core concept—the thesis—of their arcs, together and separately, is choice. so much of their backstories are defined by helplessness. laudna was chosen and killed because she happened to look like someone else, she was resurrected because she happened to be there. imogen’s mother left, she was burdened with powers she didn’t understand and meant constant pain and isolation. so, they make sure to constantly emphasize that the other person has a choice in everything. imogen tells laudna she only has to come back if she wants to, even though it would have devastated her to lose laudna forever. laudna tells imogen that the gods can’t control her, that no matter what her “destiny” is, if she wants, they can leave and live in a little cottage and raise horses together. the way they love each other unconditionally is all the more incredible given how cruel the world was to them for so long. laudna’s “you make me better” is true for both of them. they give each other a place to be vulnerable and feel all their messiest, worst feelings because they know the other one won’t judge them. they’ll support each other no matter the choices they make.

something i’ve mentioned quite a few times but never gone in depth about is that imogen and laudna do have a fairly significant age difference, and i do think that affects their dynamic. on the one hand, they both have a bit of arrested development—imogen due to her isolation from the rest of gelvaan from 18-26, laudna because she died at 20. on the other, laudna has so much more life experience than imogen. she spent almost 30 years traveling and interacting with the world even if was mostly people trying to kill her, maybe even because of that. the “laudna is imogen’s aunt/mother/older sister” takes were obviously ridiculous, but laudna does canonically look at imogen and see someone young who she wants to protect in a way she never was. she said as much to fcg after the gnarlrock fight. laudna acts as imogen’s rock, her tether if you will, a lot of the time, and part of the reason she can counterbalance imogen’s anxiety is because of the experience that comes with age. for example, during their conversation in episode 49, laudna is able to stay more “rational” and level-headed even when imogen is scared and overwhelmed. 

one of my other favorite things about them, specifically from laudna’s point of view, is that with a few exceptions (the gnarlrock fight, her jealousy of frida), she doesn’t seem insecure about their relationship. again, during episode 49, laudna mentions that she knows they haven’t talked in a while, but she didn’t worry because they “transcend words.” she didn’t need outside assurance from imogen because she felt confident in their love for each other. something i love about that episode 39-49 period is that they didn’t interact a lot, but when they did, they slipped right about in the same kind of intimacy they’d always had—imogen holding launda’s hand when they went into her dream together, laudna’s protectiveness of imogen after she interacted with ludinus. but anyway—that confidence is why i believe the transition from friends to lovers was so easy for laudna. laudna’s unsure of herself, of delilah and what she might do, but she’s absolutely not unsure of the love between her and imogen. that’s why as soon as imogen tells her she’s not a bad person, that she wants to be with laudna in that way, she lets herself embrace it entirely.

in conclusion: they invented romance, they’re the best canon pairing critical role has ever had and one of the best dynamics in general, etc., etc.

laudna/orym

oh my god, WHERE to begin? i feel like my take on their dynamic is slightly controversial. at the very least, i get more push back from people when i post about it than anything else, so let me start with this: orym cares deeply about laudna, i will never dispute that. however, orym is uncomfortable with laudna and has been since the very beginning of the campaign. she’s his friend and he recognizes her beautiful heart and resilient spirit, but he’s uncomfortable with her appearance and her messages in his head, with her macabre humor and her deadness. he can’t reconcile that laudna his friend and laudna the dead woman can’t be separated. laudna’s deadness is a part of her, one laudna embraces. orym, for better or worse, is “normal.” he grew up with a loving family and he had a husband and a career. will and derrig’s deaths were an unbelievable tragedy but one that never challenged his place within the status quo. (sidenote: i’ve always wondered if part of orym’s discomfort with laudna come from the fact that her proximity to death is a reminder of the resurrections will and derrig never got.) he sees himself as a follower, someone that doesn’t stand out, then there’s laudna, who does nothing but stand out. 

something i find fascinating is that orym is the first person to find out laudna’s backstory, and it affects him so much he can’t sleep that night and takes a point of exhaustion. he even explicitly recognizes the dehumanization she’s gone through and how laudna’s relationship with puppets like pate and sashimi mirror that. yet, he still never apologizes for trying to disguise her appearance, something without even asking. yes, i get it’s tactical and for “safety” (though that argument falls a bit flat for me when there’s also a glowing rock person and a fully conscious automaton in the group, but whatever), but it still hurts laudna. even beyond that, orym always qualifies his friendship with laudna to other person, making some mention of how she’s dead-looking and isn’t that crazy, wow, almost as if he wants some validation that it—laudna—is weird (one he, interestingly, rarely ever gets, given how enraptured most of the other pcs, including guests, and even some npcs, are with her). he does this even in situations he absolutely doesn’t need to like, for example, when maeve says laudna “looks cooler than i thought.” all this just sucks. it’s not that the love isn’t there, it is. it just isn’t unconditional, and laudna deserves better than that.

finally: the delilah in the room. no, it isn’t orym’s “fault” delilah is back. yes, he was also having an extremely bad time during the bor’dor fight and it wasn’t his “responsibility” to save laudna from herself, but laudna is orym’s friend. he listened to laudna tell him the trauma delilah put her through, he fought through hell to save laudna from her, and still nodded because part of him thought maybe delilah could help him and that was selfish. the fight against ludinus is important to of the bells, but for orym, it’s personal. it’s been his mission for six years. meanwhile, laudna is the one with the least enthusiasm about this. she has no connection to the gods. in fact, she actively thinks they dislike her, but he’s willing to sacrifice not just his safety, but the safety of her and all his friends for a cause they never set out to fight for.

in conclusion: i want to put them in a salad mixer together and watch them go around and around and around and around and around, then let them out to scream at each other a little.

laudna/ashton

if i had to explain laudna and ashton’s dynamic in one word, it would be “projection.” i adore their relationship, it’s one of my top 5 c3 dynamics, but oh my god, so much projection, and it’s so interesting because of that. ashton thinks he understands laudna, but in reality, he doesn’t at all. i’m an absolute sucker for characters that look very different on the surface but in reality are much more similar than they know, and ashton and laudna are that to a tee. they are very much narrative parallels especially regarding their feelings of “brokenness” and how their traumas are physical, visual parts of themselves, but the ways they diverge are almost more interesting.

certain people have said that her conversations with ashton are the only time laudna is “honest” or that, at the very least, she’s more honest with him than she is with anyone else, and i couldn’t disagree more. laudna can be a joyful, optimistic person and deeply traumatized with a core anger she hasn’t truly processed. laudna is a high-charisma character, and in my opinion, part of how that manifests is her ability to adapt her demeanor to the person she’s talking to. she speaks gently to imogen the same way she matches chetney’s hyperactive energy when they go sky-sailing. of course when she’s with ashton, who makes no effort to hide his anger and bitterness and doesn’t want her to be soft, she isn’t. none of these laudnas are more “real” than the others, they’re all laudna. what those people, and ironically, ashton themself, don’t get, or won’t let himself get, is that all those things can be true at once.

with ashton specifically, i don’t think they want to believe that because then they’d have to admit that growth and healing is a real possibility because anger is so much easier to deal with. people talk most about orym’s choices during the bor’dor fight most, but i’m fascinated by ashton’s as well. i wouldn’t be surprised if there was a part, no matter how small, that wanted laudna to break, to prove to himself that he was right and laudna was just as broken and fucked-up as them. so, laudna killing bor’dor was almost vindication, evidenced by their “what have i done?” “nothing i haven’t done.” exchange afterwards.

i don’t want this to sound like ashton doesn’t care about launda, they do. ashton cares about her so much, and besides imogen and fearne, is the most unabashedly into laudna’s aesthetic. i love how much they love all the weird shit she does. i love how protective ashton is of laudna, especially during battles and their willingness to go above and beyond for her—he carried laudna when she was dead despite his chronic pain without complaining once and were willing to make a deal with hexum after going through an entire museum heist to repay their debt. i love the moments when ashton sees how much laudna is struggling and tells her, as gently as he can, to take a moment and do what she can to ground herself. i love that when laudna way too dramatically assumes they kidnapped imogen, their response is “that’s very fair.” it’s all wonderful, and i love them.

in conclusion: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AND I WANT TO LOCK THEM IN A ROOM AND FORCE THEM TO TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS FOR HOURS.

laudna/fcg

laudna and fcg have been getting more attention in the past few days for obvious reasons and that has me rubbing my hands together maniacally because even though they have very little actual interaction, the subtext is delicious. 

besides ashton, fcg might be the character laudna parallels the most, especially their struggle with their humanity (if they’re even human at all), which isn’t helped by the constant dehumanization they face from outsiders, including the almost continuous comments they get when they meet someone new. people look at launda and see a horror while they look at fcg and see a novelty (he’s a robot with personality??), and those both suck. i think, for fcg, laudna is an uncomfortable reflection of himself because everything they’re afraid is true about themself is true about laudna. finding out they had a soul was such an important moment for his character (also remember his early campaign habit of calling other people “soul-touched folks”). as a hollow one, who knows if laudna even has a soul. if i’m honest, fcg seems to think less of laudna than the rest of the party (see: him calling her a “former person,” his speech before casting turn undead including, “no offense to laudna but can you please shine your light and wipe these evil, dead souls off the face of this flat planet?”) and that’s probably why. they have such strict ideas about “good,” which has become “godly,” and “wrong,” (“ungodly”), and within that framework, everything seemed to point to laudna as “ungodly,” which is why their empathy towards her is lacking. 

the biggest conflict between fcg and laudna right now is obviously their feelings on the gods. the changebringer brought fcg purpose and tangibly helps them on a daily basis. of course they want to share this incredible thing with everyone they meet, especially his friends. yet, time-and-time again, the world has shown laudna the gods don’t seem to care about her. before someone says anything, pike resurrecting laudna doesn’t automatically mean she has to trust the gods. clerics and paladins spent 30 years running her out of towns for existing and trying to kill her in the name of their gods. if the circumstances were different, there’s a good chance fcg could have been one of those people. for fcg, the world is black-and-white. for laudna, it’s all gray. laudna was able to have a conversation with imogen about the ruby vanguard’s message and the purpose of the gods because she understands the need to question things and thinks that’s a good thing even if she doesn’t agree with the conclusions. fcg’s not there yet, and until he is, their friendship with laudna will never be able to progress past where it is now.

in conclusion: please have a conversation, maybe even two or three. it’d be so good for fcg to learn the world’s incredible nuances and for laudna to see how faith in the gods can be an empowering force for good, not just something beyond her grasp.

laudna/fearne

out of all launda’s dynamics, this is the one i desperately want more of. we’ve gotten so little! almost all their moments are interactions between the three witches that tend to center imogen (making the red-string friendship bracelets and comforting imogen after she talked with relvin come to mind) OR center imogen and fearne’s mutual appreciation for laudna’s… everything. one of my favorite about fearne is that, like imogen, she doesn’t think laudna is gross and creepy, she thinks laudna is gorgeous and charming without any caveats. even ashton, who also loves laudna’s laudnaness, tends more towards “yeah, you’re disgusting and THAT’S why it’s great.”

the other main part of their dynamic i want to sink my teeth into is the coin-toss, more specifically fearne’s guilt over the coin toss. regardless of whether you think fearne lied (i personally find that headcanon FASCINATING but to each their own), she clearly feels so many emotions about having to pick whether to save laudna and orym that she hasn’t even begun to unpack. one of the few sole moments we’ve gotten of them was in episode 42 when laudna asked fearne to help teach her to cast fireball, and in it, fearne, unprompted, blurts out, “how’s it feel being alive again?” almost immediately. she also apologizes to laudna, says they’ll fight any piece of delilah that’s still in there, and tells her, “i missed you terribly for that moment in time.” even when laudna gives her the chance to make the conversation light-hearted, fearne stays so genuine, which is all the more-noteworthy because she’s usually so flippant and almost always keeps her real feelings close to her chest. 

some other examples of fearne’s guilt include: the 4sd where ashley said part of why she was so protective over imogen during their separation arc was that she couldn’t bear having to tell laudna anything happened to her and just this past episode when fearne’s protectiveness after laudna made her only cast first-level cure wounds on fcg after they cast turn undead.

in conclusion: PLEASE LET THEM INTERACT MORE. THERE’S SO MUCH JUICY POTENTIAL AND I WANT TO SEE IT EXPLORED.

laudna/chetney

i don’t have that much to say about them except that their dynamic is absolutely delightful. i love that we’ve gotten to see more of it in recent episodes, and i hope that continues. 

chetney exists at an interesting place between orym’s genuine discomfort and fearne and imogen’s complete enchantment with laudna’s undeadness. he is sometimes grossed out, but he also seems to accept it as a thing about laudna without too much judgment, or at least, that “judgment” is light-hearted in a way orym’s or even fcg’s isn’t.

i love that they’re the characters with the most life experience (even if laudna is technically the fourth oldest, fcg only has two years of memory and fearne is a 100+ but spent 99% of that time in one place) but also embrace being “childish” and silly together, like the entire sky-sail sequence! 

in conclusion: *gently holds* i just think they’re neat!

that’s all! if you read this whole thing, you get my eternal love and gratitude. thank you.

#laudna #imodna #laudmoore #orym #fresh cut grass #fearne calloway #chetney pock o'pea #bells hells #critical role #my posts #textpost #i’m weirdly more nervous about posting this on here than on twitter #but i spent like three hours writing and am pretty proud of the result #in case it isn’t clear i want to reiterate that i love ALL these characters #including orym and fcg #but they aren’t perfect #that’s what makes their dynamics so interesting!

[beca-mitchell]

What do you think other ships between Beca/Chloe and the rest of the group would be like? Or how well would each relationship pan out? As in Beca+Aubrey, Beca+Emily, Beca+Stacie… and Chloe+Aubrey, Chloe+Cynthia, etc…

posting under read more because this got lengthy!!

Chloe’s Ships

Chloe/Aubrey: This is my favourite secondary ship. It’s such a good foundation for Bechloe in my opinion, especially in the angsty way. I love imagining that Chloe and Aubrey had some kind of relationship going on in the BBM (”before beca mitchell”) times. I think Chloe and Aubrey’s dynamic would have been stressful, but they cared for each other deeply. And they still do! I think Chloe loved Aubrey hard and loved her fast, while Aubrey’s love kind of built up over time, making the relationship feel very one-sided and eventually Chloe moved on when Aubrey finally figured out her feelings.

Chloe/Stacie: I envision this ship being primarily physical—something that starts off as FWB with the potential to be something more. I think Chloe and Stacie in fanon are typically written very similarly (both very physical and affectionate and forward). In canon, I think Chloe is more passionate and headstrong than Stacie. Stacie has a very laid-back personality (different from Beca’s personality) and I think that’s probably where Chloe and Stacie would clash a little in a relationship. I don’t see this being more than a fling if anything, especially during the Barden Years.

Chloe/Cynthia-Rose: I think there would definitely be mutual attraction. Chloe seems like she’s attracted to good energies and I think C-R would be good for Chloe in the sense that C-R probably wants a stable relationship. If she weren’t canonically married (???), I think I would explore Chloe/CR more because I think it would be interesting. And obviously CR thinks Chloe is hot because she’s a wlw with eyes. In fanon I love that CR might be a confidante for Chloe because I can see her doing that. I think most people think Chloe would talk to CR about any doubts she might have about her sexuality but I think CR seems to have had clear goals/directions in life (see PP2 and PP3) which is good for Chloe. If they actually dated though, I don’t think they’d necessarily last.

Chloe/Emily: I weirdly ship this a lot?? I know, it seems out of the blue, especially for me. It really does feel like cheating on Bechloe though lmao. But I think Chloe/Emily could be cute. It would never happen during Barden, but maybe years down the line. Even past PP3. Chloe working in NY and Emily finishing her MBA or PhD. I think they could use an opportunity to reconnect and maybe discover some attraction there. I think they’re both very optimistic and eager-to-please people so I think their honeymoon phase of a relationship would last a long time. 

Chloe/Flo: Interesting, but I’ve never really considered this. I think Chloe would find Flo cute and would be curious about learning more about her. I don’t know if any attraction would move in both directions though. Flo seems more concerned with getting through school, then building her business. 

Chloe/Lilly: I am sure it happened once in a dream. Both of them dreamt it at the same time.

Chloe/Jessica: I’ve seen a surprising amount of support for this on Twitter?? Like surprising being more than one person shipping this. Which probably has to do with Britt/Kelley if anything. I think Chloe probably showed Jessica affection once and Jessica had a crush for about three seconds.

Chloe/Ashley: Chloe remembered her name and her role in the Bellas a few times, but Ashley doesn’t delude herself into thinking that she has a shot with Chloe.

Beca’s Ships

Beca/Aubrey: This is such a classic UST ship. Like I absolutely understand why people ship this. There’s just so much tension and the sheer angst of breaking Chloe’s heart while we’re it...which leads me to my next point: I think Beca and Aubrey is a ship with a shelf life—it inevitably ends with Beca/Chloe getting together (perhaps similar to Chaubrey). I do think Beca and Aubrey won’t always see eye-to-eye, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad ship. It would make for a super interesting dynamic. They both do some growing up between PP1 and PP2 and I suppose even between PP2 and PP3. We see that Aubrey mellows out somewhat but barely, but Beca is doing her best to be chill. So if they did start dating beyond a drunken hook-up, they would still have a lot of work to do on nurturing their relationship. And no matter what AU, I still hc that Beca and Aubrey, at some point, harbored feelings for Chloe. So we’d have to deal with that too.

Beca/Stacie: I love how Beca and Stacie are typically written in fic, especially their dynamic. So I base a lot of my characterization of Stacie on fanon. I can see them being a hook-up, likely instigated by Beca. While Stacie flirts with pretty much everything, I think she’s more careful about letting it go further when it comes to her friends, but if Beca pushed I think Stacie would accept. This of course does not mean I think Beca would be a top in any way, I think she would find a reason to want to hook up with Stacie. Maybe frustration from work, her family life, Chloe, etc. In terms of this dynamic evolving into a relationship, I’m still unsure where I stand. I think I’ve read too many side Staubrey to really read Stacie as being compatible with anybody but Aubrey (which is unfortunate because the movies and the fandom did such a disservice to CR/Stacie).

Beca/Emily: Okay, I like Bemily to a certain extent, but I don’t actively ship them. I think a lot of the groundwork for this ship comes from Emily’s admiration of Beca and her cheerful, good-natured personality. This is typically seen as a good contrast to Beca’s serious, awkward nature. In terms how well this relationship would pan out if it happened, I think it could work. I think this relationship is a good base for angst, especially if you combine both Beca and Emily’s insecurities—both of them seem to stem from not feeling like they’re good enough. They a pairing that works because they have potential and room to grow, I think. And they’d be a pretty good musical super duo!

Beca/Cynthia-Rose: You know? I think this would be really stable? Like CR, apart from her gambling problem in PP1 and her literal wife in PP2, seems like she’s one of the calmer members of the group. And Beca needs that stability in her life. I feel like Beca would be nervous around CR though, especially if it came to a relationship between them.

Beca/Flo:  I don’t recall them interacting much or at all, so I’m working with close to nothing here. I don’t think Beca and Flo would ever date.

Beca/Lilly: I think Beca likes the quiet she gets with Lilly. She’s seen as fairly affectionate towards Lilly in the movies (though that might be Anna Kendrick/Hana Mae Lee), and Beca is rarely affectionate. It’s hard to fully imagine a romantic dynamic between them but I think they’d both be really into bringing each other food and lil shoulder massages while studying. All without talking much.

Beca/Jessica (or Ashley): Beca could not tell them apart. I don’t think this works out.

#Anonymous #ask #pitch perfect #headcanon #text #long post #mine

[mcwriting]

Starstruck (6)

IT’S FINALLY HERE! After revision after revision, I’m done with ch 6! Thank you to everyone who has been soooo patient with me! I’ve finally found a groove with this story and am super motivated to finish. I promise the next chapters will actually include more of Tom and get us into the story resolve!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

Fandom: Tom Holland 

Ship: Tom Holland x Reader

Setting: LA area

Word Count: 1863

Warnings: some “bad” words as usual

Rating: Meh. K+

                            __________________________________

Days later you finally drove yourself to dance, even though it was only a short walk from home

It was a necessary evil to avoid the paps trying to harass you.

The studio would be full today, but you couldn’t keep skipping class. You talked to your instructor privately to ask that she help keep the class from getting “distracted” by your situation.

You were there pretty early and entered the large room to pick a spot on the barre and start warming up. As the time for class neared, students trickled in.

Some of your friends came to give a hug and say they were happy to see you, but the others just wanted to grill you. You ignored them and stayed silent, exchanging awkward looks with your closer friends. 

Class went somewhat smoothly, if you forgot every time someone tried to pull you aside during a water break to squeeze info out of you. 

By the end, you were tired and drained and ready to go home.

It wasn’t until you’d already begun to step out the door that someone tried to warn you about the paparazzi and journalists outside. 

You were immediately overwhelmed by people rushing forward, shouting out questions and statements. Shocked, you stood completely still as cameras snapped and microphones were shoved in your face. 

Obviously, someone had told them you were here, and unfortunately you knew they would be able to follow you home. 

Parents, teachers, and classmates kindly came to your aid, surrounding you to help push through the crowd to your car. 

You dreaded walking towards it and willingly giving away what your vehicle looked like to them because if they happened to capture your license plate number (which was very plausible) they could find you easily. 

As the people supporting you tried moving you forward, you finally sucked up your fears and stepped with them, head held high. You wouldn’t let yourself get caught looking dejected over a stupid, selfish celebrity.

It took a while to drive out of the lot because you had to avoid the sea of people. It wouldn’t look great for you to hospitalize a reporter because you ran over them.

Even if it was their fault for stepping in front of me? you asked yourself.

YES

Cars were tailgating you, as some of the people had been smart enough to hop in their cars when you did so they could follow you home. A sense of panic tightened your chest when you realized how dangerous this might be.

You wanted to call the cops but figured nothing could stop these story-hungry maniacs from trying to dig up the smallest speck of dirt on you right now and running to the police would make you look weak. 

Surely this media storm would end as soon as Kendall Jenner did another Pepsi ad or some rapper got arrested outside the US, right?

Wrong, of course.

Two days later, the tea was that Tom was going from LA to Seoul, and he had been bombarded at LAX with fans and journalists, while others still followed your every move, even going so far as to watching your parents go to work and back. 

Tom had pulled the same stunts as you, practically bending over backwards to avoid answering the difficult questions of what had happened. You had to give it to him, he knew what he was doing, but you couldn’t help but feel a fire in your body every time you caught a glimpse of his management team in the background of pictures. 

It had been so tiring being silent about the matter that you felt like you were bursting at the seams, and you did the only logical thing you could think of:

Pack a backpack and drive straight to b/f/n’s house. 

The only warning you gave was a text saying I’m ready, and I hope you are too. 

She responded with the okay hand emoji and you took that as the “good enough” signal to head over.

                             __________________________________

You knew people had followed you to her house and you would have to apologize for that later, but now you were on the doorstep, nervous to knock. 

Before you could reach your hand up, however, the door swung open. 

Standing before you was your best friend in the flesh for the first time in the longest week of your life. 

She looked at you seriously and then glanced behind you, raising an eyebrow. A small grin crept up your face.

“Sorry about them. They don’t really understand when to leave,” you blurted.

She looked you up and down for a moment, calculating a reply before a smile rose to her own lips. 

“Come on, let’s get you inside before they invite themselves in too.”

She shut the door behind you and locked it, and as soon as she turned around you both embraced in a long, much needed hug. You teared up 

You were still holding each other when a male voice called out. 

“Is that y/n?” her dad asked from the couch. 

You pulled away and sniffled. 

“In the flesh!” you called. 

“Come on, let’s go talk in my room,” b/f/n said, pulling you that way. You waved at her dad and sister as you passed the living room.

Boy did it feel good to be in that house again.

                             __________________________________

Both of you sat on the floor, backs leaned against the bed, sharing a bowl of chips.

You finished summarizing what had happened from the day you went to the premiere until Tom left the city and you were waiting for her to respond. She had been silently listening the whole time, and now you were silent in your wait, except for the occasional crunch of chips.

It had been a few minutes when she finally turned to you.

“Y/n… why didn’t you tell me?”

Your stomach dropped. Of course she would ask you that. You sighed and leaned your head back.

“I know it was wrong, and I’m sorry for that but, b/f/n, I was scared. I know how much you love Tom and I didn’t want anything to go public… even though that ended up failing. I never wanted to be in the public eye and I was afraid that if I told you, you might accidentally let it slip on twitter or insta.”

“You didn’t think you could trust me?” she accused, rightfully. You turned your head to look her in the eyes.

“It’s not that you aren’t trustworthy, I mean, you’re my best friend, I tell you everything. The problem is that this was the biggest secret… ever. No one could know, not even you. The only people who knew the extent of what happened were me and Tom. I don’t think he even told his brothers or best friend everything.” 

You both sat quietly again, studying each other’s faces.

“So when I came over last week? You lied to me about the car picture?”

You cringed a little, but had to tell the truth.

“Yes. You had just missed him leaving the house, too. That was the morning after he stayed the night.”

“WHAT!” she exclaimed. “You’re telling me I could have met him for real and you’re just telling me now??”

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“I guess if I would’ve just let you meet him I could’ve prevented this whole situation, huh?” you joked.

“Honestly, yeah,” she replied with a smile.

“I’m really sorry that I lied to you and hid all of this.” 

B/f/n sighed this time.

“I know I should be mad, but I weirdly understand. If I’m being honest with myself, I probably would have done the same thing. Let’s just promise to be real with each other from now on.”

“Yeah, I like that idea.”

You both leaned over in a hug.

“So, since I need to know everything… where did Tom sleep that night, and are you the reason he liked my post.”

You pulled away.

“First of all, rude that you would ask me about that in my time of need,” you joked, “and secondly, yes I told him to like your post. I told him allllllll about you. Also... we both may have fallen asleep on my bed.”

“YOU SLEPT WITH TOM HOLLAND??” she basically screamed.

You started giggling as you slapped a hand over her mouth.

“Shhhhh! If you aren’t careful there’ll be even worse rumors about me!”

You both spent the night recounting your night with Tom and the other times spent with him, only leaving the room for dinner and more snacks. After your time apart, it was like you were attached at the hips.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, you finally slept soundly, not tossing and turning with the anxiety of days past.

                             __________________________________

You sat at the dining table with b/f/n, laughing like things were completely normal again. 

“Hey I’m gonna grab some more juice, want anything?” you asked, standing up.

B/f/n shook her head and you headed out of the room, beelining it to the fridge. 

In the kitchen stood b/f/n’s older sister, Caroline, who was serving herself some pancakes as you pulled the juice bottle out.

“So… Crazy week I presume?” Caroline questioned.

“Like nothing you could imagine,” you replied.

Caroline was only a couple years older than you and b/f/n, but she had been a confidant for you many times when it came to things like relationships or just more mature topics. She also was getting her PhD in psychology, which came in handy for advice and discernment about different situations.

“Yeah, I’m sure. So do you actually hate him or are you secretly in love with him now?” she deadpanned, causing you to almost spill the juice.

“What?” you asked back, flabbergasted.

What kind of question was that? Was this girl out of her mind?

“Oh come on. It’s like the biggest fanfiction cliche of all time, ‘enemies to lovers’? Don’t think that we didn’t all notice that he had been crying in that live. Also you blushed when I said it.”

“Well obviously any normal person is gonna blush when someone says something embarrassing about them!”

“What does he smell like?” she interjected, and this time you were completely taken aback.

“I- WHAT? How is that relevant?”

“Answer the question, y/n.”

“Fine. He wears this Calvin Klein cologne. Hah, my whole room smelled like it for almost a week... Now tell me why that’s relevant.”

“Your eyes lit up and you smiled when you mentioned your room smelling like him. And you blushed again.”

Do I really? you thought. Sure he’s good looking and we had a great time together, but he was such a dick. He broke my heart and ruined my life. How could I like the guy that did that to me?

“I hate psychology.” you eventually replied, earning a laugh from Caroline. 

I’m gonna have to do some more thinking on this later you admitted to yourself, carrying your beverage back to the dining room.

                            __________________________________

Part 7 is done and hopefully coming soon. It’s looking like this is gonna be a 9 or 10 parter. Love you all!

Taglist: @marvel-lously, @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @dreamyvans, @lisannehus, @honeymoonpeter, @shootingstarsaretearsofheaven, @chenellearose 

#starstruck #tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland dancing #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland fic #spider-man #spiderman #spider man

[jiyeong]

bmblb flowershop au

been CRAVING this for weeks so i wrote one on twitter and im gonna do a post here too so i don’t lose it in my 43k tweets in case i ever do anything more with it (’: but here’s my bee flowershop au pls enjoy. it’s set in late spring/early summer

yang, age 18 and freshly out of highschool, gets her driver’s license and immediately asks for a motorcycle. taiyang gives her the keys to the family minivan instead and tells her if she wants a deathmobile, she can get a job and buy it herself

she’s walking down the main shopping street looking for job opportunities when she sees a cute girl putting up a “help wanted” sign outside a flowershop. it’s blake. the cute girl is blake.

it’s a delivery job and she applies immediately and gets it mostly because she’s the only one who applied, but ironically also because the minivan is big enough to hold large bouquets, has a 5star safety rating, and also does not go faster than 35mph so its extremely unlikely that she will be in any accidents lol

blake’s family’s shop is very popular, and they do a lot of weddings and big events. it’s an on-call job and she gets called in maybe once or twice a week. it’s always blake calling her in, and they always have a nice chat before she has to go deliver the flowers

she finds out blake is the owner’s only daughter, so she’s probably off limits so like ok. disappointing but whatever it’s easy money and she gets to talk to a hot girl every time she goes to work so this is fine

but then she starts getting some really weird deliveries...

the first one is to a wrestling tournament at some prep school. it’s for a boy (sun wukong, the delivery slip says) who giggles like a little schoolgirl as soon as he sees her coming with the flowers, and before he’ll sign for the delivery, starts talking to her about sports and her workout routines, etc

he’s a nice guy, they talk for a bit, and she asks if he got the flowers because he won and he says no, it’s the nationals and he made third place. the whole time he’s grinning like it’s some kind of inside joke, so that’s what she figures it is.

when she goes back to the flowershop, she tells blake about it, about how weird it was delivering to a wrestling tourney of all things- and she’s laughing too.

yang mentions looking at the delivery slip and that she’s never heard of the flowers before. this gets blake GOING.

she tells her that they’re ranunculus flowers, more commonly known as buttercups in some other flowershops, and that they symbolize attraction, that you find someone charming.

“huh. guess he has some big fan out there,” yang laughs.

“yeah,” blake smiles softly, “guess so.”

the second time it happens, it’s a delivery to some small town fashion magazine publisher. this time, blake mentions the flowers before yang leaves.

it is a mixture of carnations,lilies, and white orchids, and they all symbolize, to some degree, beauty. yang supposes it’s fitting considering she’s going to a fashion magazine, i guess??? this makes blake laugh a bit. yang thinks her laugh is really very cute.

the flowers are for a velvet scarlatina. yang notices her fidgeting as she drops them off in her office. it’s not a nervous fidget, more like she’s excited but is a bit too shy to say and doesn’t know how to express it, maybe?

so yang asks. velvet’s surprised by the question, but she smiles and tells her anyways. she’s just been promoted to lead photographer, she’ll have an entire photo editing department to lead starting tomorrow, and it’s probably the biggest thing that’s ever happened to her. it’s exciting! she’s excited! yang congratulates her, she’s genuinely happy for this girl. she seems like a hard worker.

as yang turns to leave, velvet stops her, holds up a camera slowly, and softly asks if she can take yang’s picture. to test out her new lens, she adds.

it’s a little weird, but okay; artsy people are always weird, yang’s smokin hot on a normal day, AND she’s having an incredible hair day today, if she does say so herself. so she agrees. before she leaves, velvet hands her a small rabbit’s foot, “for good luck.”

this time, yang tells both blake and ruby/weiss about it. blake seems amused, but doesn’t say much, and ruby immediately demands to see the rabbit’s foot charm.

while ruby is occupied by the charm, weiss asks yang how her new job is going. yang gets stuck talking about blake, how cute she is and how smart she is and how nice she is. her smile and her face and her voice.

at this point even ruby’s tuned back in.

so, they do what any good sister/sister’s weirdly obsessive girlfriend would do. they tag along the next time she gets called in to work.

ruby and weiss immediately drift to a section of shop on their own, distracted. ruby’s picking out a bouquet of roses for weiss (ugh, yang thinks) as yang walks to the counter where blake sits. this time the bouquet is simple, made of only one flower: gardenias.

“it symbolizes purity and love,” blake tells her.

“wow i feel like 90% of these flowers symbolize purity and love,” yang jokes. it makes blake chuckle, so very softly, and yang feels like a hammer has dropped in her chest. love. oh no.

“probably accurate. gardenias though, if you were wishing to send someone your undying love anonymously, you would send them gardenias,” blake muses, eyes drifting over to ruby and weiss making a fuss in the corner. “it’s a symbol for a secret love.”

yang’s head is screaming. oh no.

yang ends up leaving (ditching) ruby and weiss there with blake.

the flowers are being sent to the same prep school as the wrestling tournament, but instead of the gym she’s headed for the locker rooms. there’s a sign for a track meet today, and the flowers are for an ilia amitola, some star on the team, yang guesses, as she walks through the school.

ilia is the only one still in there, and yang senses the hostility immediately.

ilia absolutely GRILLS her, there’s no other way to describe it. she asks her question after question about her tastes, her hobbies, her personal life. it’s a little intimidating, and yang is still sort of distracted from her revelation at the flowershop (oh nO) so she answers them all.

ilia’s quiet for a bit at the end before signing the slip and letting yang go.

“don’t fuck it up,” she says as yang’s leaving the room. what the hell???

when she gets home she immediately storms into ruby’s room.

“i think im in love with her,” she’s freaking out. pacing. weiss is in there too, because of course she is, and they’re both just staring at her blankly.

apparently, it was obvious.

“I don’t know why you’re freaking out,” weiss huffs. “when was the last time you dated a girl? like, actually, with feelings??”

“shut UP weiss you’re not invited to this conversation. ruby, sweet ruby, my wonderful adorable baby sister with a strange addiction to model guns and extremely violent shooting games, how the fuck do i get over the cute flower girl that makes me feel like i want to bash my head against the concrete??”

“uhhh well, for one, i think weiss has great ideas so im re-inviting her into the conversation. (”thank you,” weiss huffs, because she was raised to be polite even while offended) and two, just, like, uhhh don’t???”

they convince yang to confess to blake. but yang’s like ok it’s been a while since ive had actual, swear-to-god, feelings, so she wants to do something ROMANTIC. something BIG. something GAY.

yang’s saved up a nice chunk of cash from her job - and okay, who needs a motorcycle when you could get a girlfriend? and like, okay, blake works at the shop, so she’s not quite sure if flowers are an appropriate idea, but she’s literally always reading books on flower meanings and flower dictionaries and looking at natgeo magazines etc so she watches shia lebeouf’s just do it video and why the hell not

but she has to do it right - and she asks the only flower experts she knows other than blake. blake’s parents. she wants to get their okay as well anyways - she’d quit if she had to - so it’s like two birds one stone. but yang’s been charming them since her interview, and they’re almost strangely enthusiastic about helping set up their only daughter.

she gets weiss to place the order, because ruby can’t stop giggling on the phone. it’s a HUGE bouquet - full of every flower that symbolizes love that mr & mrs belladonna recommended her. it’s almost embarrassing listening to weiss list the flowers and knowing that blake is the one receiving the order.

the bouquet is so huge that yang insists that she needs help carrying it. conveniently, ruby and weiss are busy doing something gay, so they aren’t free to help her. blake raises her eyebrow when her parents send her off with yang to help. yang thinks it’s very attractive.

the address is a meadow right on the outskirts of town. lots of rolling hills, lots of swaying trees, the sky is clear and you can already see the moon even though it isn’t nighttime yet. it’s all very scenic, a perfect wedding venue. it’s late afternoon when they leave the shop.

“preparing for a wedding so late in the day is so strange,” blake comments on the way there, playing with the radio stations like she owns the van. it makes yang’s heart clench. can you die early from too much feeling? how awful. “what eccentric people, to be having their ceremony so late at night.”

“aha... y-yeah, eccentric people for sure,” yang sweats.

they park on the hill, and there’s no one there. blake steps out of the van, confused. she’s looking at the sunset and it’s as picture perfect as she thought it would be, but where is everyone?

and when she turns around, yang is holding the very large bouquet perfectly fine on her own. she almost shoves it into blake’s face.

“they’re for you,” yang blurts out immediately. “i’m the eccentric people.”

blake’s all ??? for a second. and then it sinks in and she’s laughing because, “do you know how much these flowers cost? did you literally spend all your money on a bouquet of flowers for me, a florist’s daughter who is literally around flowers all day?”

turns out blake has also been spending her money on bouquets for all of her friends uncharacteristically often, with their consent of course, just to get the cute new delivery girl into the store more so she could see her and maybe have a chat. they’ve been returning the flowers with small favors of their own - non-consensual blake makes sure to point out - namely, yang’s favorite workout spots, some really cute not-at-all-candid pictures of yang, and what basically amounted to, yup u guessed it, an entire autobiography of yang herself. god.

they kiss as the sun’s last rays are fading, laughing, on a hill almost an hour’s drive away in a rusty old minivan, and over a ridiculously unnecessary amount of flowers. it’s pretty fuckin gay.

#rwby #bumbleby #headcanons #that's my tag for long au posts like this lol #very GAY very INDULGENT #very long #also they're both poor because flowers are freakin expensive guys jeez #bee flowershop au #COMPLETE with flower meanings that i literally googled as i was writing the original tweets #god if i could write i'd write THIS and also the harry potter au that i am also typing up in bullet points instead of actual sentences. #writing is HARD and i appreciate every single person on ao3 thank u so much for my life

[terezis]

fic author meme

tagged by both @marywhal​ and @androidsfighting​! thanks lads!!!

your name: ginny k. terezis, my full legal name. the “k” stands for kravitaz. which is my twitter handle. did you think it stood for kravitz??? pathetic

fandoms you write for: the adventure zone: balance! that’s it! there was also a brief but passionate period of time where i wrote a lot of twilight fanfiction, but that era of my life is thankfully behind me.

where you post: here on tumblr, mostly, but almost everything gets cross-posted to ao3 eventually. i also toss out ideas that could become fic into this tag, but none of it is polished work!

most popular one shot: tea and cookies, weirdly enough? it’s the first fic i ever posted to ao3, but it also has five times more hits than anything i’ve put up since, LOL. a good start! otherwise maybe this little guy.

most popular multi chapter story: i am not yet disciplined enough to handle multi-chapter fics we don’t have to talk about it

favorite story you’ve written: prince of thieves! i’m still proud of that one.

story you were nervous to post: tea and cookies, probably? or maybe from memory, by heart, which was the second fic i ever posted. i made some Choices in that one, for sure. i don’t know if i still agree with those choices, but i'm glad i worked up the nerve to keep postin’ :p

how do you choose titles: haphazardly! and usually with help from friends.

do you outline: usually i’ll scratch out a few lines of dialogue to get a sense of where the scene is going? and then from there i can just start writing. for longer stuff i do more formal outlines, yes :0

how many of your stories are complete? s...seven? ao3 says seven. more on tumblr, probably. i’m going to guess and say. fourteen. is that right??? 

how many of your stories are in progress? ok i’m only going to count stuff i’ve posted about or else we’d be here all day. there’s the one where taako and kravitz get drunk married in goldcliff... there’s my adventure bang fic, which weirdly enough also involves accidental marriage? i promised a sequel to prince of thieves a long time ago and i have like five different notepad docs saved with stuff for that, but i’m still having trouble making it work... same for requiem.

OH ALSO THE GAME. the game does not have a name yet but i’ve been calling it crystalquest on all relevant documents. that makes five? five.

coming soon: c r y s t a l q u e s t. four out of eight maps are done! that’s half! oh my god.

do you accept prompts? always but whether u will get actual writing or a fuckton of bullet points is anyone’s guess

upcoming story you’re most excited to write? that’s a secret!!!!!!!!!! but i should probably finish those some of those wips first.

tagging: i think everyone i know has been tagged already??? @anonymousalchemist @desiree-harding-fic ???????????? i love u 

[camillemontespan]

stars [AU. drake walker x MC]

Skinny Cappuccino with an Extra Shot (part one)

Williamsburg (part two)

Here we go, the third and final installment of this AU trilogy!

@jovialyouthmusic @pug-bitch @moonlightgem7 @sirbeepsalot @drakesensworld @katedrakeohd @notoriouscs @ritachacha @iplaydrake @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @be-still-my-aching-heart @dcbbw

******************************************************************************************

Relax. This is just a date. You’ve been on dates before. Granted, never to your date’s work, but hey, first time for everything. She is cool. She’s actually nice, she’s not stuck up, she is gorgeous, why the fuck is she interested in you? Right, breathe. Stop panicking. 

Drake was standing the bottom of her apartment’s stoop, trying to work up the courage to press the buzzer. He wasn’t usually this bad with girls; but something about Camille made him feel nervous, excited, silly. It was a weirdly nice feeling.

Steeling himself, he made his way up the stairs and pressed the buzzer for Apartment 10. The piece of paper beside the number had her last name written in twirly, loopy handwriting. 

The door buzzed him open and he  entered the main foyer. 

He found Apartment 10 and saw that she was standing at the door waiting for him. She was dressed but her hair was wrapped up in a towel. 'I promise I'll be ten minutes,' she told him. She beckoned him inside and led him through to the living room. Drake looked around. Dove grey walls, intricate cornices in the ceiling, wooden floors. It was a classy place. The TV was on, showing a football game - Raiders vs Patriots, Drake could see - and an unopened bottle of beer was placed on the coffee table beside the remote. Camille nodded at the beer and TV. 'Make yourself at home, I'm just going to dry my hair.' Giving him a smile, she padded out of the room and down the hallway.

Drake sat down on the sofa and opened the beer. This was new. Most of the time, his dates would have him standing in the hallway awkwardly. Not Camille. No. She put on the football and had a beer ready.

He looked around the room and began to see little bits of her. The bookcase filled with Austen novels and fashion biographies. The artwork on the walls which looked expensive. The framed photographs on the sideboard which showed her out with friends, on holiday, cuddling an old lady who resembled Camille.

Drake's phone buzzed with a text. Opening it, he saw it was from Leo.

Good luck tonight champ!

Drake grinned despite himself and took a picture of the TV screen and bottle of beer, captioning it : 'She's getting ready, look what she set me up with.' He sent it onto Leo, who texted back instantly.

Dude, marry her or I will.

Drake smirked and put his phone away. He watched the game for a few minutes, looking up when Camille came through.

She was wearing a red silk dress and gold strappy heels. Her hair was tousled around her shoulders and her makeup was smokey. Drake stared at her. 'You look stunning,' he said. Camille blushed and looked at him from under her eyelashes. 'You look pretty handsome yourself.'

Drake shrugged. He had picked out a black suit and tie for the occasion- he never felt comfortable dressed up but as this was a law firms annual party, he figured he had to make an effort. Plus it was Camille.

'Right let's go then!' she said, picking up her clutch bag. Drake followed her and she opened the door, letting him out first. She turned the key in the lock and when she looked up at him to say something, Drake's hand reached up behind her head and he gently pulled her into him. His lips brushed hers softly. He swore Camille sank into the kiss.

When they parted, she was blushing. 'What was that for?'

'I know I'll be wanting to kiss you all night and won't be brave enough to try anything. I was feeling brave then so..'

Camille laughed. 'You don't have to summon courage to kiss me, Drake.'

'Believe me, I do.'

Camille smiled and leaned up to kiss him herself. 'You can kiss me anytime you like, Walker.'

*************************************************************************************

They hailed a taxi to The Empire. They chatted easily on the way and Drake began to feel himself properly relax now.

The Empire was lit up from the outside. Pink and purple floodlights hit the facade. The words Beaumont Bash 2019 were lit uo against the stone and Drake could hear pulsing music coming from inside. Bouncers were at the door and Camille showed them her staff pass, before telling them that Drake was on the guest list. The bouncers let them inside and Drake whistled when he saw the scenes in front of him.

There were waitresses holding out trays of champagne glasses - their skin was spray painted in pink glitter body spray, as if they were aliens. As Drake and Camille went further into the hotel, they saw lights that looked like glowing planets hanging from the ceiling and the walls were lit up by a galaxy floodlight, making it look like they were in another world.

'Why is a law firm pretending to be in space?' Drake asked her. Camille grinned. 'This is our theme of the year. Beaumont LLP: The Firm of the Future.' We want to dominate the sector and be the law firm that everyone in the world wants to work with.'

'That's a big ambition.'

'You haven't met my boss,' Camille said, 'and speaking of, there he is!'

Drake looked over to see a tall, thin man wearing a purple silk suit. He was talking to some guests and was toasting his glass of champagne against theirs. Drake thought he looked familiar.

Beside him was a younger man, lanky, wearing a blue suit that sparkled. He turned and waved at Camille, rushing over.

'Little Blossom! You're here!' he cried, pulling her into a hug. He saw Drake and offered him a giant smile. 'You must be Drake! Hi, I'm Maxwell!' he thrust out his hand eagerly and Drake shook it.

'Nice to meet you, Maxwell. This is a great party.'

'I know right! I planned it myself! Do you get the theme?!'

'Firm of the Future, I see it,' Drake replied.

Maxwell finger gunned him and winked. 'You betcha. Now, Camille, how about we get a bottle of champagne? It is a free bar after all.'

'I don't think bottles are included in that, Max,' Camille said, raising an eyebrow. Maxwell rolled his eyes. 'For the common people maybe. But for me...,' He gave them both a wink and Drake chuckled. Maxwell led them toward the bar but was stopped by the man in the purple silk suit.

'Maxwell,' he said. He saw Camille and kissed her on both cheeks. 'Darling you look fantastic.. And who is this fine piece you've brought with you? A mid year bonus?'

Drake reddened as the man's eyes roamed Drake. Camille cleared her throat. 'This is Drake, my date. Drake, this is Bertrand Beaumont, the managing partner of Beaumont LLP.'

Drake shook Bertrand's hand. 'Have I seen you on the cover of Time Magazine?' he asked.

Bertrand winked at him. 'Yes, my darling, you have indeed. Pray tell, what do you do? Model? Act? I can see you modelling for an outdoor magazine myself, you are very... rugged.'

'Bertrand, are you hitting on my date right in front of me?' Camille asked, her hand on her hip.

Bernard waved his hand. 'Darling, I flirt with everyone's dates!'

Drake shuffled on his feet and felt Camille take his hand, squeezing it gently. 'Well this one is off limits to you!' she replied. Bertrand pretended to be offended but then kissed her cheek. He looked at Drake. 'She's my best Paralegal,' he told Drake seriously. 'She's a diamond. Now, away and help yourselves to the free bar!'

Camille lead Drake away with Maxwell following. 'So, at work, Bertrand is completely different,' Camille whispered.

'In what way?'

'Everything. His clothes, his mannerisms, his attitude. But when we have a Bash, it's like he's been replaced with this glamorous, fun, kinda pervy guy. It's so weird.'

'Maybe he has a twin?'

'Maybe. All I know is he has a collection of kimonos that are worth more than my rent.'

'How do you know that?' Drake whispered. Camille shot him a mischievous smile. 'They held a bash at their townhouse once. Hana and I went sneaking around, came across his dressing room. Oh my god it was a room of wonders!'

Maxwell asked for a bottle of champagne and three glasses. He handed one to Drake. 'So Camille tells me you make her her morning coffee and you also work in a bar. I tried working in a bar once, I was shit at it. I accidentally charged someone for a bottle of wine when they had actually asked for a glass. Oh dear.' He gave Drake a bashful grin and shrugged.

Drake smiled. 'It's alright, pays the bills you know? What do you at Beaumont LLP?'

'He's the social media superstar!' Camille answered for him. Maxwell bowed. 'I am indeed... A superstar.'

Camille chuckled. 'Seriously, he has that engraved in the sign on his office door.'

'Perks of the job, Little Blossom!' Maxwell turned to Drake. 'Basically, I manage our Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. I live feed our seminars, try and make law actually look interesting instead of full of stuffy old men. It was difficult at first but I discovered that if a post a video of a cute dog every so often, people will follow regardless. People love corgis right now I think.. Guys help me find videos of a corgi.'

Maxwell whipped out his phone and the three of them crowded round it, trying to find YouTube videos of corgis. 'This one's wearing socks!' Camille squealed.

'Yeah but this one is wearing a sombrero!' Drake protested. 'It's called Pablo!'

‘Hey guys, what are you up to?’

They looked up and Drake recognised Camille’s friend who ordered matcha tea at the coffee shop. ‘Hana!’ Camille greeted her, giving her a hug. 

‘Ah Mr Barista Guy!’ Hana said, turning to Drake. Drake smiled and offered his hand to shake hers. ‘Drake Walker, nice to meet you, Hana.’

‘You too! Are you enjoying the party?’

‘Yeah, it’s really cool! Different.. I’ve never been to a shindig like this.’ 

‘Ha, get used to it if you’re going to be dating Camille,’ a familiar redhead said, sidling up to the group. Camille blushed. ‘Hey Olivia. Drake, this is our friend, Olivia.’

Olivia looked at Drake, her nose wrinkled. ‘Barista by day, bartender by night? Charming.’

Drake frowned. He was about to reply when he felt Camille take his hand. ‘Liv, don’t be a bitch,’ she told her. Olivia smirked. Camille turned to Drake.

‘Olivia has a bite but she’s a softie when you get to know her, promise.’

Drake nodded but he felt flat. Looking around the room at the lawyers dressed in their suits and the tinkle of laughter and the sound of champagne flutes being toasted, he felt like a fish out of water. What was he even doing here? He didn’t belong here. He was a barista and a bartender. He was on minimum wage. He had never even had a lawyer before. 

‘Excuse me,’ he said quickly and he turned to leave the room. He felt Camille try to pull him back and say, ‘Drake, please..’ but he shrugged her off. He needed air. Walking with purpose, he strode to the foyer and out of the entrance door. 

The warm New York air hit him and he inhaled, filling his lungs with the city. Looking around, he spotted a taxi and hailed it. He knew it was rude to leave Camille. But he didn’t want to feel inferior; as his mom had told him time and time again, nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. 

He reached the taxi and pulled open the door.

‘Drake!’

He turned to see Camille running after him. She reached him, panting. ‘Drake, please. Don’t go.’

‘I don’t belong in there, Camille,’ he told her. ‘I’m not a lawyer. I’m not successful, I’m not rich, I’m not anything, okay? Why have you not brought a lawyer as your plus one? You’re wasted being my date. I’m just the guy who makes your morning coffee and works in a dive bar at night.’

He turned to get into the taxi but she pulled him around. He sighed, looking at anywhere but her. Camille reached out and pulled his chin towards her so he was staring into her brown eyes.

‘You’re my date because I like you,’ she told him. ‘I think you’re really interesting and fun and clever and sweet and bonus, insanely goodlooking.’ Drake cast his eyes down, embarrassed, and Camille clicked her fingers. ‘Look at me, Walker.’

He looked at her.

‘You are the best guy in that room,’ she said. ‘I know that we’ve only just met but I know that you are worth way more than all of them combined. I’ve got such a good feeling about you, you know?’

Drake blushed. ‘Montespan..’

‘I’m not asking you to come back in there but I do want to continue our date,’ she told him. ‘So, Drake Walker, what do you say?’

Drake looked at her earnest face. ‘I say the night’s still young.’

‘Correct answer. So, your place or mine?’

*******************************************************************************************

They went back to Camille’s. As soon as they were in the door, she kicked off her heels. ‘I’m going to get changed,’ she told him. ‘There’s beer in the fridge, knock yourself out.’

Drake went through to the kitchen to grab a beer. The fridge was littered with post its - doctors appointment reminders, shopping list, to do lists. A polaroid was stuck up with a magnet of Camille and Hana at a party raising their wine glasses in the air. Drake smiled; he felt like being in her apartment was like being allowed inside Camille’s head. All of these little touches about her laid bare to him. 

He placed a beer on the coffee table for Camille and settled down on the sofa. He turned on the TV and saw that The Sixth Sense was on. 

‘Ahhh I see dead people!’ Camille cried, entering the room. She had changed into denim shorts and a New York Giants jersey which was oversized on her, slipping off her shoulder. Drake felt his jeans tighten and hoped he could get rid of the situation before she sat down beside him. 

She brought over a pizza delivery leaflet and sat down next to him, oblivious to the tent situation. 

‘So, large pizza with like, all the meat?’ she suggested. Drake chuckled. ‘Sounds good to me.’ 

Camille phoned the pizza place and then settled down to watch the film. Drake was painfully aware of how close she was to him. He could smell the coconut scent of her hair. He swallowed and kept his eyes fixed on the TV, not absorbing anything that Haley Joel Osment was saying to Bruce Willis.

Camille stretched her long legs out, crossing her feet on the coffee table. Drake looked at her legs out the corner of his eye but then scolded himself. Stop being a perv.

Drake spent the next thirty minutes in silent torture. He really wanted to hold her close, make a move. But he didn’t want to come across like he was taking advantage. 

The door buzzed and Camille jumped up. She came back with the pizza box and she placed it on the table. They both dug in. Drake turned to say something to Camille about how the twist in the film was so obvious, but chuckled when he saw she had pizza sauce on her cheek. 

‘What? What’s so funny?’ she asked, blushing.

‘You got sauce on your face,’ he told her, smiling. She reached to get at it but missed. Drake shook his head and leaned forward to wipe it off. ‘There, all clean now,’ he said quietly.

Camille’s eyes met his. There was a loaded silence. He cleared his throat and looked away.

‘Drake.’

‘Yeah?’

‘You know you can kiss me whenever you want. I told you that earlier.’

Their eyes were steady on each other. Camille raised an eyebrow, daring him. Fuck it.

Drake bolted forward, his hands reaching out to behind her head and their mouths crashed together. Camille let out a gasp of surprise and Drake felt her smile against his lips. His arms went underneath her legs and he picked her up, throwing her back against the sofa. Camille laughed and Drake grinned, pinning her arms above her head, his body lying along hers. 

‘Tell me if this is too much,’ he whispered.

She smirked. ‘I’m a big girl, Drake.’

Drake kissed her jawline, travelling down to her throat. His hands roamed up under her jersey, feeling her bare skin. Camille reached out to pull her sweater off and Drake watched as she cast it aside. Drake undid her bra in one swift motion, throwing it to the floor, and he closed his eyes when he felt her hands unbutton his shirt and skim across his chest. 

Her legs wrapped around his waist. Drake was still on top of her and he breathed in her scent. They kissed deeper, more desperately now. They reached for each other, Camille unbuckling his belt, her hand reaching down to wrap around him. 

Suddenly, in their hastiness, they rolled off the sofa.

‘Ah!’

Camille was lying on top of Drake. They were lying on the floor and they were staring at each other, holding back laughter.

‘Did I mention that I’m really smooth?’ Drake asked. Camille burst out laughing. ‘I think you can make up for it, Walker.’ 

Drake’s hand reached down to cup her ass and Camille ground her hips into his. Their lips caught and Drake’s fingers tangled in her hair. She let out a groan and tugged at his bottom lip with her teeth. Drake unbuttoned her shorts and pulled them down. She cast them aside, her underwear following.

Drake took a moment to take her in. ‘You’re beautiful,’ he whispered.

Camille blushed. ‘No I’m not..’

‘You really are.’ 

Sitting up, Drake pulled her further into him and her hand guided him to her entrance. He looked into her eyes, saw the desire, and gently he pulled her onto his length. Camille let out a sharp gasp. ‘Fuck, Drake, you’re really big..’

Drake kissed her neck, enjoying the feel of her around him. Their hips began to rock together, steady and fluid. ‘Oh god..’ she breathed.

Drake kissed her mouth fervently. His hands roamed her body, feeling her skin. Camille rode him harder, crying out louder as the movements became more rapid. 

Their eyes met. ‘Make up for not being smooth, Drake,’ she said, her breath hitching. Drake’s eyes bore into hers.

‘Challenge accepted.’

*******************************************************************************************

They spent the rest of the night curled up under a blanket, naked, watching the rest of The Sixth Sense. The pizza box sat in between them; Camille was lying against Drake and he had his arms wrapped around her body.  This was nice. This was cosy.

‘I really want to adopt Haley Joel Osment...’ Camille said. ‘He’s just too precious for this world.’

‘But, Camille..’ Drake said, staring at her in mock horror, ‘he sees dead people!’

Camille giggled and snuggled into him. ‘I would protect him at all costs.’

‘I’m sure you would.’

‘Let me guess..’ she said slowly. ‘You would adopt Bruce Willis, wouldn’t you?’

‘Die Hard Bruce Willis, yeah, why not. He can kill all of my enemies.’

Camille laughed and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek.  Drake looked at the clock; it was 1am. ‘So... I should probably head home,’ he said. 

‘Aww but.. we’re having so much fun.’

‘I know. But it’s getting late and you should go to sleep-’

‘Drake, I’m not tired.’

‘No but you will be soon. I should head.’

He stood up. Why was he suddenly being weird? 

Camille frowned. ‘You know, you could stay over.’

‘I don’t want to look like..’

‘Like you’re taking advantage? Drake, you’re like, the most polite guy I know. Trust me, you’re not taking advantage of me.’

He scuffed his foot against the floor. ‘I’m a gentleman.’

‘We’ve already had sex.’

‘A reformed gentleman, then.’

Camille sighed. ‘I told you, I’m a big girl. I’m not expecting a marriage proposal. Maybe just a really nice cappuccino in the morning, okay?’

Drake chuckled. 

‘Drake, stay,’ she said, her face serious. ‘It’s 1am. You can sleep on the sofa if you must but got to say, my bed’s comfier and I’ve just got a new mattress which is like sleeping on a cloud.’

 Drake stared at her. She wasn’t going to give up. ‘Ahh fine, you got me. I’ll stay.’

She grinned at him. ‘Awesome!’

They turned off the TV and lights. Camille guided him to her bedroom. Drake stared at her naked body as she walked down the hall, her hips circling a figure of eight.  

She got under the duvet. Drake followed.

‘Holy shit, this mattress is incredible.’

‘I know right!’ she squealed. 

Drake settled into it and stretched. Camille looked at him mischievously. 

‘Want to test it?’

*******************************************************************************************

As Camille slept, Drake was awake. He lay there looking out of the window, listening to the patter of rain. The moonlight shone in, highlighting Camille’s sleeping figure. She glowed. Drake could hear the sounds of New York, still awake, as always, and he had never felt more content. 

Camille let out a sigh and rolled over into his chest. Drake wrapped his arm around her and listened to her lightly breathing. He wasn’t going to mess this up. This girl, Camille, was perfect. Drake felt like he had to count his lucky stars. He gazed out the window and although he couldn’t see the stars thanks to the city lights, he still thanked the universe, which had seemed to have gifted him this person. Drake closed his eyes and for the first time in a while, he slept peacefully.

#drake walker #drake walker x mc #trr fanfic

[jlf23tumble]

Four Hangout: Recap

Oh, man, I know I “owe” this one, so I’m doing it, but I hate it for about 15 different reasons, 14 of those being Ben Winston, which means I’m gonna keep this fairly short. The Four Hangout (lmao, I will never stop laughing at the attempts to team up with Google’s shitty tech) predates my entry into this fandom, so I’m not as on top of every little thing that happened around it (and my god, there were some doozies). I’ve found other posts that do a better job of transcribing some key moments), but I’m sure lots of others are out there, and as ever, I recommend taking 35 minutes to stare at this work of art for yourself.

Whenever I’ve seen gifs from this, the read is that at least two people are coming off a coke bender as we all focus on Ben’s rather ham-fisted attempt to get Louis to admit that he hates people thinking he’s gay. But in rewatching it in full now and knowing more about the context around it, the true vibe is exhaustion mixed with some very real anger/mulishness aimed at management in general and Ben in particular. Because the point of the Four Hangout isn’t to promote Four, the album, but to exonerate the D’s management team, blow smoke up Ben’s ass, and “clear the air” about whatever rumors have been going around that the D’s team doesn’t like, all posed as questions theoretically from the fans, yet weirdly management focused.

I’ve found lots of good blog posts that summarize these 35 or so minutes, but here’s an executive summary of my comments coupled with others I’ve found:

Ben Winston is an insufferable dick

The D is so fucking TIRED at this point, everyone’s low energy, but Louis’s voice is the softest, raspiest, most enchanting thing

They regularly creep on social media and are up on pretty much everything fandom related

There are no rumors they need to dismiss except that they’re currently alive, go on, ask them twice!

Liam is great at delivering the corporate spiel

Harry really did get them sneezes out

The Louis/Ben feud is one thing; the Harry/Ben feud is a whole other

Louis reads fanfic (and has some faves!)

Narry are ride or die WMYB, except for when Harry needs to have a go at Ben

Zayn has somehow made himself look even more godlike

Louis has super cute socks

With that in mind, let’s jump into some key moments, but I’m paraphrasing a lot because it’s so hard to hear over all the cross-talk, asides, and inside jokes. More under the cut!

Shout out to Louis's collarbones and quiff combo...his voice is about to give out, but he’s so OPEN and present for this total shitshow, even when he defiantly refuses to take the path he’s being guided down. Also, please @ god let me play some poker while we enjoy a bacon butty over brunch, his face as Niall introduces Ben as a “very, very good friend of ours” (me as both Ziam and Harry):

One of the most subversive things this band does is effusive praise when they’re pissed off, and never is it clearer than here, when Niall gushes on about all the wonderful work Ben has done for them, and the other boys pick up on it and start whistling and clapping (Louis: “My hero”; Harry: “LOOK AT THOSE TEETH!”) until Ben gets extremely uncomfortable.

We’re off to a good start, with Ben being sure to preface that all of these questions are from the fans, and then Harry asking Ben if he’s wearing makeup (Ben, mildly affronted, “No, I’m not wearing any makeup, but you guys do, you wear a lot of makeup, don't you, Harry” [Harry: “Tons”; Ben: “Well, you need to”]).

The first question is about the difference between this album and their first one, and it’s such a stupid, easy question that I want to answer it for Niall because I can do it in my sleep. Ben then asks Louis if he likes visiting the X Factor, if it reminds him of the old days (you know, four years ago), and AGAIN, this is a dumb-ass question, and Louis’s a pro, so what do you think he’s gonna say? (Of course he likes visiting, it’s lovely to go down and relive it). Is Harry nervous about playing there again tonight? Nope, it’s fun!! He can enjoy it this time around! Simon Cowell doesn’t give him ANY anxiety!!

The next question is about the simplicity of the old days, and my god, does my heart break for Liam saying that they had to work really hard back then, so it’s nice that four years later, they get a few more vacation days. Louis agrees, adding that the first American promo trip was a grind where they did 10 things a day (multiple interviews, signings, radio appearances, rehearsals, and shows)

Ben asks if they ever go back and watch clips of themselves from their early days (this genuinely does seem like a fan ask), and wouldn’t you know, Niall was just chillin’ out last week, rewatching all the video diaries again. Louis admits that his red trousers and braces were loud, but they worked for the time, “Or do you disagree, Ben?” (Ben: “No, I loved it.” Louis: “Thank you.”) And I wish I could travel back in time both so I could kill Hitler AND witness Ben showing up somewhere in a pair of Toms, only to be faced by Louis Tomlinson telling him that he wore that style two years ago, and he wouldn’t anymore, which Ben says cut him down to size (I highly doubt that, but I would have love to see it).

All of this fashion talk is side-winding into a question about who tells them what to wear and whether they have control over their image now. They all note that they wouldn’t have dared to push back in year one, presumably because “experts” were telling them what to do, plus it was all free (which makes all the dragging on their old looks extra fun to watch). Then Ben asks whether they make their own decisions now, and Liam says yeah as Louis smirks, lmaooooo, which morphs into, well, we have much more input than we used to have. I’m here for Harry giving a slow, long-winded answer as a construction project starts up somewhere in the studio, and Louis yells, “Keep it down” into his mic.

Ben, I mean, the fans want to know what piece of advice they’d give the fetus versions of themselves, if they could go back in time, and Louis advises his younger self to have a second glance in the mirror and see if he’s really sure about that particular outfit. (Ben: “Is that…really?” Louis: “No, Ben, I’m just trying to make a joke.”). Liam would fight the haircuts, and Harry would burn the supras (I’m assuming; Louis: “They were outrageous”). Zayn would tell his younger self to have a bit more fun, to try and take it all in and enjoy it more. :(

“The fans” are curious about the negative side of social media, how the D just exploded on YouTube and Twitter after X Factor, and does it ever go too far? Liam channels my inbox and says that people forget there’s a person on the other side of an anon message, that these guys see all the things that are said about them, and they’re self-conscious with cameras and comments, but it’s okay, they put up with it. Louis’s addicted to Twitter, and says that there are negative people there, but you’ll find negative people on every social media platform and in real life, too, it is what it is.

Of course, “the fans” are curious about how all this social media shit affects their girlfriends, and I would kill to hear more about what Narry, the two singles on this couch, keep giggling about in this ridick convo that I’m not even gonna bother to sum up.

Ben’s curious how the fans always manage to leak everything the band does, and yes, Louis, tell us more! How does it make you feel? Liam thinks it’s anticlimactic, Niall’s only beef is when something is leaked a week before it’s out, and everyone else just gets annoyed if it breaks the structure of a rollout, but nobody talks about songs that are leaked that were never meant for official release (cough cough, "Home”), and Harry’s just happy people get a sneak peek and then still buy the album, so all is good. Me as this exchange: Ben, incredulously, “It’s amazing they’re able to constantly do it”; Liam: “Lots of high-tech people out there.”

Probably my favorite part of this is the fanfic discussion, which kicks off with Ben’s “I've noticed, not that I’ve read it, but there's been a lot of fanfiction published about you boys, books published, have you any read it?”

Zayn avoids it at all costs, but Louis’s aware of a fic writer’s book deal (who????) and says that he’s come across some of it on twitter (!!!). He finds some of it utterly bizarre (looking at you, self-inserts), but he’s read some nice little stories, and he’s seen some that go very deep and very, very weird. Liam acknowledges that it’s a whole different world, that he gets the idea of it, of fans putting themselves in situations with them (and Jesus Christ, it kills me that they’ve had to read self-insert wattpad fics), but some of it blows his mind. Niall doesn’t know where to go looking for it, but don’t worry friend, Ben’s gonna hook you up with his favorites! Harry is noticeably quiet during ALL of this.

With a horrible segue, Ben says, “Speaking of things that are made up, what’s the biggest rumor you’ve heard about yourself, this is a question lots of fans are asking” (SURE THING), and Harry never gets enough credit for his dry delivery, such as the way he says, “We’ve all been dead a couple of times.” But Ben can’t let it go, and that’s when Louis does his whole, “No”….dramatic pause (he might be saying “Go,” but the point is, he lets this bit drop where it lands). Zayn jumps in with the rumor that Niall used to be a jockey, and god bless him, honestly.

Ben realizes he’s not getting anywhere with this, so it’s time to move on to the actual album, why is it called Four, etc. It’s not really all that interesting, tbh, nor is the name they didn’t go with as a band (Liam’s dad’s suggestion, which was USP, if you’re curious). Liam figures USP will flourish one day, and this whole section proves how funny Liam actually is. I’m curious about all the One Direction tribute bands they’re mentioning, and I’m totally down to check one out if they’re ever in my area, just fwiw.

Anyway, moving on! What song are they most proud of? Zayn loves “Where Do Broken Hearts Go,” and Louis is WAY into “Fireproof,” which Liam’s down with, too. The part that’s interesting gets glossed over because Ben’s an idiot, but they talk about how many songs they’ve written that don’t make it to the album, like, Liam has a tattoo that says “somewhere is a place that nobody knows” from a song we’ll never hear called “Man on a Mission,” and how many others are stored in this vault (23 or 24 were in the final running for this album, where are they)? Harry suggests those songs will be on USP’s first album, and I will absolutely buy it. His story about the Norway bus trip makes me want to dig deep (he was on a party bus in Norway and heard one of their songs, sung by them, that had never been released anywhere, and he was the only one who knew it).

Zayn hints a bit at what happens (voting), and Liam hints at all the meetings, but I would love to know so much more about this process, especially since Niall says that lots of people are in these meetings, with lots of opinions (Simon, label, other managers).

Ben says that another recurring question is about what “Stockholm Syndrome” means, and I love the Alex Turner-esque dodge we get on Harry literally describing what Stockholm Syndrome means, without any real insight into what the song’s about. Still, I live in the awkward that happens right after this drops, with Ben still somehow trying to get them to admit they don’t feel trapped, lmao:

Ben asks about which songs are about specific people, and god, I don’t care because all of this section is lies. Then he tries to get them to talk about songs they don’t like, and they aren’t here for that, like, Liam will say he can’t casually listen to WMYB, but he loves performing it, and the best part of this is Harry saying he’ll crank that song and mouth along, pretending that he’s Niall.

For their favorite songs, Liam goes with “Fireproof,” Louis goes with “Midnight Memories,” Niall goes with “Where Do Broken Hearts Go,” Zayn can’t pick one, and Harry says “Best Song Ever.” Ben likes “Through the Dark” because of course he does, and that’s when the needling from Harry starts about “Gotta Be You,” and I don’t understand, but I live for him on the attack, so geddit, son (also, Niall, with his “your boyfriend’s back, and you’re gonna be in trouble,” etc., YES).

Another question Ben kept getting from fans (got it!) is what would be the one thing they’d change in the past four years, and Louis starts with, “Why would you want to? It’s been great, there’s no point.” Liam agrees, and that’s that. Ben’s next question is what moment they’d relive in the past four years, and Niall says he was really nervous at MSG, although Zayn thinks it was a great gig BECAUSE they were nervous. Nothing’s really happening here, so Ben asks Harry what’s going on with his hair (I guess “the fans” want to know?), and Harry just says it tends to grow, that’s what hair does, and he’s letting it all hang out.

Another “fan” question that makes me laugh from Ben: “Who makes the decisions in One Direction? Is it always your call?” And they all say NO, but Liam jumps in with, “It’s totally us, people ask us now, ultimately we call the shots,” and there’s a LOT of back-chatter here, so draw what you see.

Ben tries to push how much they love the “Night Changes,” video, and AGAIN, Harry gets on his case about “Gotta Be You,” and someone else covers it better than I ever could, but this goading by Harry is wonderful. Ben’s creative process for video concepts is fascinating because he basically admits that it’s easy or it’s really hard (read: he steals it or just throws a shitty idea to a wall to see if it sticks).

Ben asks if they get nervous about people liking the album, and Louis says they care if critics like the album or not, but really, he’s out there on twitter searching different song titles to see the fan reaction. This is also when we learn they aren’t on ye olde social meeds that much anymore, but they all enjoy a good old-fashioned creep session (Zayn especially). Harry’s comment about feeling vulnerable when you release something you’ve been working on for a year feels especially poignant—he gets excited and nervous all at once—and I really don’t get this whole controlled leak promo thing they did for Four, but who am I to question Modest or Syco?? All I want to know is what Niall’s talking about on the side.

#recap #four hangout #get them sneezes out

[fourteenacross]

gone fishin’

DragonCon is tomorrow! Somehow!

I’m zero percent ready!

But it has been a super stressful month here in fourteenacross land, so I am greatly looking forward to spending the next six days drinking Mai-Tais and hanging out with my friends that I only see once a year and staying up too late and making poor life decisions and crying on Clint McElroy.

If you are going to be around (or at the ATL TAZ show) lmk! I will probably be posting on Twitter and Instagram.

OH ALSO, I am on one panel on Saturday afternoon! 

Speaking Out: Podcasting While LGBTQIA+ Saturday, August 31, 5:30pm - Hilton Galleria 6

Podcasts have a good LGBTQIA+ reputation, but queer podcasting is more than just putting gay characters in your narrative. It’s also about bringing a particular perspective to the medium. Join our panel as we discuss how being queer affects our podcast experience, for better or worse.

I’ve never done a DCon panel before and I’m weirdly nervous despite doing shit like this all the time at my day job?

#dragoncon #dragoncon 19

[sweetnestor]

odlt extra #1 | a very jet lagged valentine

‘but you havent even finished odlt yet’ shuuuuttt up

idk idk!!!! i was feeling Soft and slightly lonely on v-day for god knows what reason and i just,,,,,,, vomited this out!!! here is a teeny tiny break from all the Angst that the main fic has to offer. enjoy

PREVIOUS FICS (u should read these if ur new here)(srsly this is ethan x oc)

February 2018, aka when the European tour started.

CrankGameplays: “Happy valentine’s day! You’re my favorite person and im glad i get to experience all the things with you. Love you :)”

You’d think he would post one of the many decent candid photos he’s taken of me. You know, one where my highlight was catching the light, or one where I was smiling, or one of the two of us looking disgustingly adorable. But no, Ethan went with the photo he took of me passed out on our bed in our Amsterdam hotel room, my wavy pink hair sprawled out in an ungraceful manner. I wasn’t supposed to fall asleep, nor was he. It just happened. And now my sleepy self was all over Instagram.

Ethan was just as groggy when I shook him awake. Unlike me, he was a very handsy, cuddly being when he was sleepy. He rolled onto his side and groaned in the way he would when he wanted to hold me, so I scooted into his arms and let him.

His skin was warm and weirdly soothing. We were supposed to be getting out of bed… I was supposed to be insomniac due to sheer anxiety. Time zones were out to get us. Yet somehow, it felt like the holiday itself.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” I spoke softly into his collarbone.

He squeezed my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. “Did you see my picture?”

“Oh, did I.”

“I meant every word I said.”

Ah yes, that extra bit of validation. I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his waist. I had no idea what time it was, so I didn’t know how much time we had before we had to be in the lobby with everyone else.

“When’s the next time we’ll be alone a hotel room?” I asked, now looking up at Ethan.

He shrugged. “No idea. Why?”

“Do you think we’ll be able to sneak around like we did last time around?”

If he was struggling to wake up before, then my question sped up the process. He met my eyes, red tinting his cheeks. “Oh… I don’t know. Do you want to sneak around?”

“If we can,” I told him as I leaned in to kiss the crook of his neck. “If not then… we're alone now.”

That was all I had to say to make run late. Excuse: jet lag.

~

I was grumpy and tired when it was time to get up and do the tour thing all over again. I had a rough flight… or, two flights. We had stopped in London between flights, in which I had a panic attack and a case of the nervous shits while everyone else ate and tried not to fall asleep. Then, we were off to the Netherlands, where I fell asleep the second I got to the hotel. Ethan fell asleep too, but not before taking pictures of my sleeping, drooling face. I didn’t really mind that he would do that. I took my own photos of him while we were on the plane.

And that was what I posted on Instagram that morning in the shuttle on the way to the venue. I picked a selfie of me clutching a pillow to my chest on the plane ride over here. Ethan was in the seat next to me, his head tilted back as he slept. As sleep deprived and generally nervous as I was, I was seriously considering captioning the photo with something absolutely cheesy and deep. I actually started writing it out.

bellasanti: “To the guy who found me at my lowest point, who helped me get to where i am now… the person who has always been nothing but kind and wonderful since day 1. My biggest supporter and my best friend… I cant even begin to explain how lucky i am to have found you, and how proud i am of you and how far you’ve come. I love you more than words could describe 💙💖💙💖💙💖”

A small smile was etched on my face as I read the caption over and over again. I looked over at Ethan, who was practically standing as he “touched lenses” with Mark. They were both vlogging and being rather loud about it. More than a year later, and my heart still went all soft and mushy just by looking at Ethan do what he does best. Gross, I know.

Suddenly, the caption felt far too revealing. I had hit two million Instagram followers recently, plenty of which were also Ethan’s. Did I really want to expose bits and pieces of our relationship? I mean, it’s not like we interact a lot online, anyway. We liked to keep some things private. I copied the original caption, and then deleted it apart from the hearts. Then, I made the photo public. I sent the words to him in a Twitter DM instead, knowing he wouldn’t see it until much later.

He sat back down in his seat a couple minutes later, looking back at the footage he just recorded on his camera. I glanced at him once, and then continued looking through my phone.

“Love you,” I said softly and mindlessly.

He suddenly looked up, as if I didn't say that all the time, just loud enough so he could catch it. I saw him look at me through my peripherals, I could tell he was blushing.

“Love you too,” he replied, poking my cheek.

Finally, he put his camera down and pulled out his phone. Neither of us said anything more, but I was somewhat anxiously awaiting him to notice either my DM or my Instagram post. Somehow, just silently sitting next to each other while scrolling on our phones became one of my favorite pastimes.

“Aww,” he mumbled at one point.

I glanced over his shoulder once, only to see a flash of Jack and Signe on his Twitter feed. Why hadn't he seen his DMs yet? What was taking him so long?

Feeling uncharacteristically mushy, I lied my head on his shoulder. He smelled good, and he was soft and cuddly as ever. I was suddenly missing our short time alone back in the hotel room. We wouldn't be alone together until next month, and it suddenly seemed like a difficult challenge.

Last month, when the tour went West, Ethan and I did a full three sixty. Instead of angrily texting each other and crying in bathroom stalls, we were sexting and getting it on in the dressing room, the bathroom, and even once in my bunk when everyone else was asleep. It showed just how strong we had gotten over the last few months. But because of those raunchy activities from not only tour but also when we were home, I went to great lengths to make sure my birth control hadn't failed me. I didn’t have any symptoms, apart the usual anxiety nausea, but I still worked up the courage to schedule a doctor’s appointment prior to tour. So far, my uterus wasn’t occupying anything I didn’t want it to.

Ethan put his arm around me just as mindlessly as when I said I loved him. He was still scrolling on his phone, now on Instagram. This time, I saw him scroll up to my post, and he made a noise of protest.

“When did you take that?” he asked, showing me the plane selfie.

“When do you think?” I asked in response. “You have the best sleeping face.”

He chuckled. “You know you’re the only person who tells me that? Everyone else says it’s creepy.”

“I mean it is,” I said, half joking. “But you’re my boyfriend, and I always think you’re cute. Even when you sleep with your eyes half open.”

Ethan blushed and ducked his head a little. He always grew a little timid when I complimented or praised him. It was equally parts adorable and frustrating, because he never took the compliment.

“Stop,” he said softly.

“Have you checked your DMs?” I asked, unable to wait any longer.

He gave me a look and then went to open the app. “Well, what did you send me now…?” he asked in a funny voice.

I busied myself with intertwining my fingers with his. Then I kissed his hand and waited for him to read my sappy message.

“Aw…” He smiled. He was speaking very softly, like he didn't want the people sitting around us to hear. “That's real sweet… real cute…”

“I was gonna post that on Instagram, but decided that only you can hear things like that,” I replied in a voice just as soft. “And it's not just today, I feel that every day.”

“Aahhhh,” he groaned, now scooping me up in his arms.

Except, he did it in a way so my back was to his chest, and my head hung out in the walkway of the shuttle, capturing the attention of some of the people around us.

“Hey,” I said to Tyler, who was sitting in front of us.

“What’s up?” he replied casually. “Just hanging, I see?”

“Just hanging,” I repeated.

“Whatcha doing, Bella?” asked Mark from a couple of rows behind.

I turned my head and saw him with his vlogging camera. My cheeks reddened a little bit. “I’m not here by choice!”

“She said nice things and deserved hugs!” Ethan said.

“God, we’re gross,” I said under my breath before I was let go.

#crankgameplays x oc #ethan nestor x reader #odlt fic #odlt extra #ylh extra #ethella fic #sweetheart writes #stand back i thINK IM GONNA VOMIT #for real when i was writing this i was like *insert heart emojis* #now im just itching to get back to angsty sad shit lmao #anyway ill make a masterlist of all the extra one shots ive posted that have to do with this series #figured it would be nice to see bella and her boyf and her pals in a moment of Fun and Peace ya feel me #i have bella and ethans whole life all planned out lmao like #ive invested way too much time in these nerds #OH MY GOD i also have to post the angsty belliplier i promised skdhlask #maybe tomorrow or the next day

[ultralifehackerguru-blog]

New Post has been published on http://www.lifehacker.guru/golden-globes-2018-15-things-know-oprahs-speech-james-francos-weird-win/

Golden Globes 2018: 15 things to know, from Oprah’s speech to James Franco’s weird win

It was a night of passionate speeches, weird wins and lots of commentary about the current culture of Hollywood. Here are 15 things you need to know about Sunday night’s Golden Globe Awards.

1. Seth Meyers’s monologue

The NBC late-night star had a challenging role as host, balancing comedy with the horrific sexual harassment allegations that have been pouring out of Hollywood. So he went after everyone and everything, from Harvey Weinstein (“Don’t worry, he’ll be back in 20 years when he becomes the first person ever booed during the In Memoriam”) to Woody Allen (“When I first heard about a film where a naive young woman falls in love with a disgusting sea monster, I thought, ‘Oh, man, not another Woody Allen movie’”).

2. Oprah Winfrey’s speech

The talk show queen and business mogul won the Cecil B. DeMille Award — essentially a lifetime achievement prize — and delivered a truly stirring address to the audience. (It immediately kicked off some “Oprah for president” memes.)

“A new day is on the horizon,” she said. “And when that new day finally dawns, it will be because of a lot of magnificent women, many of whom are right here in this room tonight, and some pretty phenomenal men, are fighting hard to make sure that they become the leaders who take us to the time when nobody ever has to say ‘me too’ again.”

3. Natalie Portman’s introduction

Ron Howard and Portman had the unenviable task of following Oprah’s stirring speech as they announced the best director category. Portman didn’t back down from the challenge.

“Here are the all-male nominees,” she said, before they read the names. Indeed, all five nominees were men (Guillermo del Toro won for “The Shape of Water”) — but it still earned some gasps from the crowd.

Natalie Portman and Ron Howard speak onstage during the Golden Globes. (Paul Drinkwater/NBCUniversal/Getty Images)

4. The mere presence of Oprah

Oprah had the best seat in the house — the chair at the center table in the front of the room — and some winners became a bit frazzled during their acceptance speeches as she was directly in their line of sight.

“Oprah!” Sterling K. Brown (“This Is Us”) boomed at the top of his speech.

“Thank you to Ken and my entire team, to Carol — hi, Oprah,” said Rachel Brosnahan (“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”), interrupting herself.

Rachel Brosnahan accepts the award for best actress in a comedy series or musical for her role in “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” (Paul Drinkwater/NBC/AP)

5. Sterling K. Brown’s speech

Brown has spent a lot of time on award-show stages in the last year, thanks to his emotional role on “This Is Us” as a man bonding with his biological father and for his incredible portrayal of prosecutor Chris Darden on “The People v. O.J. Simpson.” As he picked up the trophy for best actor in a TV drama, he proved he’s one of the most inspiring speakers in the game, as he got personal once again:

“Throughout the majority of my career, I’ve benefited from colorblind casting, which means, you know what, ‘Hey, let’s throw a brother in this role, right?’ . . . then [‘This Is Us’ creator] Dan Fogelman, you wrote a role for a black man. Like, that could only be played by a black man,” Brown said. “And so what I appreciate so much about this thing is that I’ve been seen for who I am and being appreciated for who I am. And it makes it that much more difficult to dismiss me or dismiss anybody who looks like me.”

Sterling K. Brown in the press room. (Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)

6. James Franco invited Tommy Wiseau onstage, then shoved him out of the way

“The Disaster Artist’s” Franco won best actor in a comedy for playing noted weirdo filmmaker Wiseau, the brains behind “The Room,” a film known for being “the best worst movie ever.” When Wiseau arrived onstage, he attempted to take the microphone — but Franco cut him off. Sadly, we’ll never know the strangeness that could have taken place.

7. Nicole Kidman’s speech

Similar to the Emmys, Kidman raised awareness of domestic violence when she accepted her prize for best actress in a limited series or TV movie for HBO’s “Big Little Lies.” Her character, a lawyer-turned-housewife, is in an abusive relationship with her husband, played by Alexander Skarsgard.

“This character that I played represents something that is the center of our conversation right now: abuse. I do believe, and I hope, we can elicit change through the stories we tell and the way we tell them. Let’s keep the conversation alive,” she said.

Nicole Kidman accepts the award for best performance by an actress in a limited series or TV movie. (Paul Drinkwater/NBCUniversal/Getty Images)

8. Allison Janney wore a parrot

In “I, Tonya,” Janney plays LaVona Golden, Tonya Harding’s abusive, chain-smoking mother who has a bird on her shoulder for much of the film. When she arrived to present a clip of “I, Tonya,” nominated for best drama, Janney channeled her character.

9. Kelly Clarkson and Keith Urban sang

The music stars were a bit too excited to be on stage and decided to sing before they announced the winner for best original song. “And the Golden Globe goes to . . .,” they warbled.

“We’ve now officially sung on the Golden Globes!” Clarkson exclaimed.

10. Roseanne Barr and John Goodman reunited

The “Roseanne” co-stars arrived together on the Globes stage to plug the imminent reboot of the hit 1990s sitcom and present the award for best TV drama series.

“I’m known for creating some great drama,” Barr announced.

“Yeah,” Goodman acknowledged. “Not the kind you get awards for.”

Roseanne Barr and John Goodman, presenters at the 75th Golden Globe Awards. (Paul Drinkwater/NBC/Reuters)

11. Wage-gap jokes

While much of the evening focused on the “Me Too” movement and Time’s Up initiative to prevent harassment, there were a few jokes about the notable Hollywood gender wage gap.

“I’m so happy to announce that the winner of this category will also receive the 23 percent of her salary that went missing in the wage gap,” Jessica Chastain said, before announcing the best actress in a motion picture, musical or comedy. “It’s not a problem as we saved so much money kicking people out of Hollywood this year.”

“Thelma & Louise” stars Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis presented the trophy for best actor in a motion picture, drama, and also made some jokes.

“These five nominees have agreed to give half of their salary back so the women can make more than them,” Davis said.

Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon. (Paul Drinkwater/NBCUniversal/Getty Images)

12. Frances McDormand’s weirdly bleeped speech

The censors got pretty nervous when McDormand accepted the trophy for best actress in a motion picture, drama, for her role in “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.” She started to thank Fox Searchlight — and was bleeped. (People on Twitter mused if someone thought she said a different word that started with the letter “f.”) Then she said a modified version of a curse word, and the censor cut off her next sentence. Then, the censor kicked into gear once more when McDormand said the phrase “tectonic shift.” No clue about that one.

Frances McDormand. (Paul Drinkwater/NBC/AP)

13. Barbra Streisand’s speech

Streisand arrived to present the last award of the night (best motion picture, drama) to “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.” Before she announced the winner, she had some things to say.

“I’m very proud to stand in a room with people who speak out against gender inequality, sexual harassment and the pettiness that has poisoned our politics,” she said. “And I’m proud that our industry faced with uncomfortable truths has vowed to change the way we do business. Truth is powerful. And in a really good film, we recognize the truth about ourselves, about others, and it’s so powerful that it can even change people’s minds, touch people’s hearts and ultimately even change society itself.”

14. “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” won best comedy and comedy actress

The Globes voters love to pick a relatively new show that makes the TV viewing audience go “huh?” Sure enough, this year the honor went to Amazon’s “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel,” about a housewife in the late 1950s who turns to stand-up comedy after she splits with her husband. It won best TV comedy and its star, Rachel Brosnahan, won best actress in a TV comedy. (Disclosure: Amazon founder Jeffrey P. Bezos also owns The Washington Post.)

From left, Marin Hinkle, Michael Zegen, Rachel Brosnahan, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Daniel Palladino and Tony Shalhoub of “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” (Frederic J. Brown/AFP/Getty Images)

15. Laura Dern’s speech

In a night of inspirational speeches, Laura Dern’s also stood out as she won best supporting actress in a limited series or TV movie for “Big Little Lies.”

“Many of us were taught not to tattle. It was a culture of silencing and that was normalized. I urge all of us to not only support survivors and bystanders who are brave enough to tell their truth, but to promote restorative justice,” she said. “May we also please protect and employ them. May we teach our children that speaking out without the fear of retribution is our culture’s new North Star.”

(C)

#2018 #golden globes #Lifestyle

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: Why It Works: Five Pitches for Kemono Friends

Attention all Kemono true believers, and welcome back to Why It Works. I know your hearts are strong and pure, but Kemono Friends demands more than just us passionate few to truly take over the world. Kemono Friends needs Kemono footsoldiers, and I’m here to recruit you to the Kemono ranks.

As we all know, Kemono Friends has turned out to be the unlikely surprise anime of the season. Rising from murky, seemingly child-oriented and decidedly 3DCG origins, it’s revealed itself as a strangely excellent story of goofy Friends and not-so-distant apocalypses. Starring the buoyant animal-person Serval and the confused human Kaban, its first season has cataloged their journey across the derelict Japari Park, where animal-people construct homes and host tea parties in the ruins of some human civilization. The show’s unique blend of slice of life charm and dystopian worldbuilding has made it a hit in Japan, but outside of that market, promoting this unique property has come down to us special few. We are the Kemono evangels, you and I.

Of course, there are perfectly understandable reasons that Kemono Friends hasn’t become an international hit outside of us chosen few. There’s the fact that it looks ridiculous, for one thing: its CG characters only seem to loosely correlate to the backgrounds they traverse, and often their models clip through themselves, an impressive but somewhat immersion-breaking feat. There’s also the fact that slice of life shows are just a hard sell in general, and even though Kemono Friends keeping its dystopian elements far in the background is part of its appeal, that definitely doesn’t help the pitch. Even the idea of selling someone on Kemono Friends for its strong worldbuilding seems a bit disingenuous, since if you’re not enjoying stuff like Serval and Kaban goofing around the jungle, you probably won’t have a good time with the show overall. With that in mind, I have constructed a list of five bulletproof sales pitches to ensure the Kemono gospel extends far beyond the season’s end. Without further ado!

Pitch #1: Kemono Friends’ Absurd Art Style is Part of its Charm

Kemono Friends is a story about scrappy animal-people who aren’t terribly good at most things doing their best to get by and be good to each other. That overall tonal space is actually matched by the show’s visual style, which is itself pretty bad at everything, but still trying to do its best. Obviously I’m a fan of fluid, evocative animation, but there’s also something to be said for Kemono Friends’ desperate attempts to convey the illusion of movement, or even just the illusion of standing in a place. Watching Serval get almost killed every episode just wouldn’t be the same if Serval wasn’t floating from a standing position to a seated one across one bizarre, graceless object shift. Kemono Friends doesn’t look good, but it looks extremely Kemono Friends.

Pitch #2: Kemono Friends Stars a Beaver Who Has Anxiety

There have been a number of noteworthy shows this season, from the charming Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid to the majestic Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju, but when you take a look across the overall crop of releases, one thing becomes resoundingly clear: only Kemono Friends stars a beaver who has anxiety. Do any of Saga of Tanya the Evil’s characters suffer anxiety attacks when they leave their hand-built dam? Have any of the new characters from Blue Exorcist: Kyoto Saga been so nervous about constructing their new home that they instead made a model, and then gotten so nervous about making the model that they made a model of the model? I rest my case.

Pitch #3: Everything About Crested Ibis’ Design

The fact that Kemono Friends has enjoyed a vast proliferation of fanart in spite of its own awkward visual execution is a testament to one of the show’s clearest strengths: its underlying character designs. Designs like that of Crested Ibis, a character who sings warbly songs about wanting to make new friends while flapping around on hair-wings, don’t come around every day. And Crested Ibis isn’t the only one - look at Tsuchinoko, who lives in a cave and wears a hoody that is her lumpy snake body. Look at the owls, who manage to exude the fundamental nature of owldom in spite of actually wearing big fluffy parkas. Look at Shoebill, whose design manages to be weirdly adorable while clearly evoking her fundamental shoebilliousness. These characters may look clunky in motion, but their underlying designs are brimming with personality, and it’s always fun watching the show bring some new animal-person to life.

  Pitch #4: Going to the Zoo is Fun and You Are Not Too Cool For It

Kemono Friends may offer a twisted variation on a trip to the zoo that involves a whole lot more napping and genetic experimentation, but the majority of its episodic run still demonstrates the fundamental appeal of wandering through habitats and visiting the creatures that call them home. There’s something inherently compelling about crossing a slice of life with a trip to the zoo - watching how these animal-people live and interact is often its own reward, and each new episode offers a fresh cast and climate. The episodic interludes offering random facts about any given episode’s real-life creatures is all part of the charm.

Pitch #5: Kemono Friends Made Me Cry, and I May Cry A Lot, But Still

I really didn’t expect Kemono Friends to get to me, but the show got under my skin. The transparently awkward visual execution turned out to be a bit of a misdirect; underneath that goofy CG exterior hid a narrative that was expertly building all the time. I really don’t want to oversell it, but Kemono Friends’ most recent episodes have seen its post-apocalyptic clues all spinning together into some legitimately thrilling drama. From character development to thematic congruity to narrative payoff, Kemono Friends is ultimately a great story all around. I laughed, I cheered, and yes, I got a little teary-eyed. Kemono Friends made me care.

That’s all I’ve got for this list, but there are plenty more things to love in Kemono Friends. The show has a warm sense of humor (exhibit A: penguin idols who sing about being flightless birds), a great cast, and a consistently satisfying dramatic center. It’s a weird one, but lots of our favorite things start out looking pretty weird. Now go, and help spread the light of Kemono to all our many Friends.

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Nick Creamer has been writing about cartoons for too many years now, and is always ready to cry about Madoka. You can find more of his work at his blog Wrong Every Time, or follow him on Twitter.

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