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agentark · 5 months

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trying to enjoy my silly little time traveling sci-fi show while clara and the doctor say the most devastating things to and about each other every other episode like my god

If the Doctor is still the Doctor, he will have my back.

Clara, I'm not your boyfriend. // I never thought you were. // I never said it was your mistake.

Please, just...Just see me.

Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?

Clara, I'm terribly sorry, but I'm exactly what you deserve.

There was one other man. But it would've never worked out. He was impossible.

When do I not see you?

Die with whoever comes after me, you do not leave me.

I don't care about your rules, or your bloody survivor's guilt. If you love me in any way, you'll come back.

Immortality isn't living forever, that's not what it feels like. Immortality is everybody else dying. She might meet someone she can't bear to lose. That happens, I believe.

I let Clara Oswald get inside my head, trust me, she doesn't leave.

Longest month of my life. // It could only have been five minutes. // I'll be the judge of time.

I will die, and no one else here or anywhere will suffer. // What about me?

Everything you're about to say, I already know. don't do it now, we've already had enough bad timing.

Don't run. Stay with me.

I was lost a long time ago, she was saving you.

If you think because she is dead I'm weak, then you understand very little. If you were any part of killing her and you're not afraid, then you understand nothing at all.

The day you lose someone isn't the worst...it's all the days they stay dead.

I'd know you anywhere.

What were you bargaining for? // What do you think? You.

If she says so.

I had a duty of care.

People like me and you, we should say things to one another.

Look how far I went, for fear of losing you.

You said "memories become stories when we forget them." Maybe some of them become songs.

hand in unlovable hand

#also of course any iteration of 'my clara'#or that line in before the flood where bennett is like 'youre just doing this to save clara' and the doctor is like 'yeah? and?'#like even w/ 11 we start to see just how far the doctor will go for her but 12 really drops the pretense that he cares about anyone but her #just finished a rewatch of Clara's episodes and feeling the entire spectrum of human emotion about them #may I one day experience a love half as insane as theirs #clara jumping into his time stream means they have 900+ years of inextricably linked history whether they know it or not like....#yeah i'd be unhinged about you too #everyone say 'thank you missy' for bringing these two together and nearly causing the destruction of the universe #doctor who #clara oswald #doctorclara #I'm not ready to start Bill's episodes what happens to her makes me physically ill #twelveclara

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jianghushenanigans · 8 months

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Watching Nirvana in Fire the first time:

Watching Nirvana in Fire the second time:

#nirvana in fire #xiao jingyan #literally just been sobbing the whole time #only 4 episodes left of my rewatch i'm so ready to CRY

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remnri · 3 months

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oh i get it genshin impact like second impa-

#i finally watched nge in december but i binged it in a stupor so i might have to rewatch lol #it may have irreparably changed my psyche so idk if i'm ready for a rewatch yet though #also i graduated! goodbye school.. goodbye forever...#scara in shinji's plugsuit based on his story sort of #ganyu and fischl are based on appearance only #i drew childe instead of fischl first because color scheme wise he fits more but the proportions didn't work out

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agent-troi · 8 months

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the first line of mulder's opening monologue in colony is actually so important:

"i have lived with a fragile faith built on the ether of vague memories from an experience that I can neither prove nor explain."

this is IT guys!! this is the crux of the whole show, of the whole dynamic between mulder and scully.

mulder wants to believe, but it doesn't come naturally or easily to him, the foundation being so fragile, as he puts it. his seeming naivete, his eagerness to believe just about anything, all of it stems from a deep insecurity that actually none of it is real, that all of his efforts and sacrifices have been in service to the illusion that one day he will see his sister again.

it's the opposite for scully. she is a believer, naturally, but she's afraid to face the inherent loss of control in believing in things beyond science, beyond reason. the possibility of these things being real frightens her as much as the possibility of them not being real frightens mulder.

the only way either of them can find the strength to overcome their respective fears is through each other. only when mulder's belief falters can scully find the strength to give in to hers, and only when scully fails to doubt can mulder afford to scrutinize the world through the lens of skepticism. they balance each other, make each other whole.

at the end of endgame, mulder tells scully he's found "something i thought i'd lost. faith to keep looking." that's exactly what they give each other!! faith and hope and companionship and love in a world that continually threatens to deprive them of those things❤️

#i had a moment guys i'm sorry #i just finished my ivf wip and i'm feeling emotional #also this two parter is up next in my rewatch #it's so good and i'm so excited about it #i'm ready to have Feelings #x files #txf s2 #colony #endgame #fox mulder #dana scully #mulder x scully #msr #txf meta #txf thoughts #txf mytharc

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itsallaboutbl · 11 months

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Jeff Satur as Kim Theewapanyakul KinnPorsche, ep. 5

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thedarkcaustic · 7 months

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#I'm not ready to rewatch the finale so not sure I got the quote exact but I don't care #EdIzzy #Izzy Hands #Blackbeard #Our Flag Means Death #OFMD #Edward Teach #ofmd season 2 #con o'neill #taika waititi #ofmdedit #darkcausticedit #blackhands

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izzysillyhandsy · 7 months

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How I learned to stop being angry and love the Death Scene (for now)

This may be a controversial take, but I've come to the conclusion that Izzy's death scene maybe wasn't badly written after all.

There is one big aspect of this scene that I really love: it was 100% in character for Izzy AND Ed (and everyone else too) at that point in their story.

BUT it only works if we are not expected to believe that 1. this was in any way a happy ending for any of them and 2. that this arc is finished.

If Izzy stays dead permanently, his death and the way it happened, what was said and notably what wasn't, was tragic for everyone involved - especially Ed - and we should feel bad about it. This isn't an uplifting scene of closure for either Izzy or Ed, and it is totally understandable that most Izzy fans were crushed by it (and Ed fans, even those who don't like Izzy, should be too!).

If there is no possibility that anyone, in any way, can talk to Izzy ever again and (in Ed's case) clean up the mess between them - then this is not a comedy any more. It's a tragedy. And it should be treated as such by the show and the creators (and this might be where disappointment lies waiting).

The death scene by itself though was fitting, if we look at where Ed and Izzy are on their character arcs at the end of S2. It played out exactly as I'd have expected.

Izzy - All about Eddie

The main problem I (and many others) had with Izzy's death scene is that it is all about Ed.

Izzy is apologizing for everything that happened, including Ed cutting his fuckin' leg off. He is reassuring Ed that he wants to go, it's ok, no need to be sad. He encourages Ed to be soft, emotional, himself. He tells him that his biggest fear, being unloveable to anyone except Izzy, isn't real - he has a family now.

And, now that I've had time to think about it, I realized: YES this is exactly what Izzy would do.

All of S2 was about Izzy breaking the chain, but until the end it was still all about Ed for him (because it's not as easy as cutting off a rotten leg, unfortunately). Izzy would make his last moments about Ed, trying to do as much good as possible in the short time he had left. Or, trying to undo as much of what he thought he'd done wrong.

And I really don't want to take away from Izzy's accomplishments and character growth in S2. He'd come so far already! After years and years of singleminded devotion and love he'd finally realized that their form of entanglement was destructive.

Izzy broke up with Ed in Ep2 - and it almost killed him both of them. He started to look for meaning outside of his relationship with Ed, rediscovering aspects of himself that had long been buried and forgotten. He began, tentatively, to form bonds to members of the crew and put himself out there, away from Ed's side, away from being Ed's voice and Ed's hands, ruled by Ed's emotions.

But there wasn't enough time: still, everything he did was, in one way or another, at least partly about Ed.

Whittling - a Blackbeard metaphor Training Stede - "What did he say about me specifically" La vie en rose - a love song about "the one" and promises for life Hiya boys - oh my god he's trying so hard here but this is killing him, isn't it Bonding with Stede at Jackie's - "He's a complicated man" The Ricky monologue - so much passion behind every word, not getting what you want, letting go of ego for something larger - the whole speech was (at least partly) about Ed

(I believe the first Ricky monologue about belonging is more about Ed than the crew and I know this is not a popular take. Still, for me it makes sense because this is how Izzy felt for decades. I don't think he has shaken that mindset yet - give up your ego, your own dreams and personality for something larger - Ed&Izzy or Blackbeard. When he says "he crew" it feels like a bit of an afterthought - there is a pause.)

So, at the end of S2, Izzy is not over Ed at all - he's deeply hurt, feels incredibly guilty (unreasonably so!) and is repressing a lot of what happened.

He's still so entangled with Ed - if this is his last chance to make things right, he will.

And as much as I would have loved seeing Izzy dying surrounded by his loving family, he wasn't there yet. Not as long as Ed was around. And I think the crew understood. They understood Izzy more then he understood himself at one point ("You're in a toxic relationship with Blackbeard"). They understood what he was going through, and they gave him space to say goodbye to the man he had loved for his whole life.

Izzy died how he lived - all wrapped up in Eddie. And at this point in his life, I wouldn't have expected anything else.

Ed - All about us, you and Me

I love the symbolism of these 2 frames - while Izzy's bloody hand is entangled in Ed's hair until death (and beyond), Ed's bloody hand is putting a distance between Izzy and everyone else but himself.

I wonder how Ed would have taken it if it had been the other way round - if Izzy had found himself a Stede at the start of S1.

I think not well is an understatement.

Even though Ed seems constantly annoyed by Izzy in S1 (and violently destructive towards him in S2), at no point did I get the impression that he actually wanted Izzy to leave, for Izzy to love him less intently or be less devoted.

But, it wasn't very much about Izzy as a person, or Izzy's happiness, or their shared happiness anymore. I think Ed saw himself and Izzy as "together forever, us two against the world", but without putting any work in or pausing to think how Izzy was actually feeling (and I am 100% sure that Ed knew how much Izzy loved him and how little love he got in return).

But being with Izzy was Ed's whole life, they were two halves of the same whole, and Ed even kinda expected Izzy to stay around after he fell in love with Stede ("We could have worked this out!") and didn't really think about how this never, ever could have worked out for the kind of relationship they were having (this is how Steddyhands... was so compelling actually).

So is it any wonder that, in Izzy's last moments on earth, Ed wants to have him all to himself? He sends Stede away. He signals the crew to stay (waaayy) back. He cradles Izzy in his arms, his back to the crew and everyone else who loved him.

And although, at the start, he tries to get a word in (to apologize back, to tell him he's forgiven) - Izzy dies without hearing anything that wasn't directly related to Ed and Ed's feelings.

Ed never tells him he loves him. He doesn't tell him how much Izzy will be missed for himself and not for what he could do for Ed. How important he was to Ed all those years.

The only thing Izzy gets from Ed before he dies is "You can't go. You can't leave me. Please! You're my only family."

What will happen to Ed? You can't do this to Ed! Ed has noone else! And as sad as this is, it is in character for him at this point in his life.

Ed is fundamentally a very self-centered (and self-hating) person, and his journey towards change had just begun with his death and rebirth. And just like Izzy, he would have needed much more time to grow (although Izzy'd gotten much, much further than Ed).

At Calypso's birthday, I think for the first time in forever, Ed saw Izzy as his own person, someone who he could actually love apart from this Ed-Izzy union they had going for so long. But only a few days (I guess?) later, Izzy dies.

So, at the end of S2, Ed still sees Izzy as "his" to a degree, sees him as one half of "us". He almost expects Izzy's last words to be about him (or them) and doesn't yet see Izzy as his own person, with his own feelings and ties to other people who might have wanted to say goodbye as well.

For Ed, Izzy died how he lived - wrapped up in Ed and Ed keeping everyone else away. Talking about himself only in relation to Ed. Izzy as a part of Ed that's vital and needed - but not itself in need of words of solace or other people's love (or any love, period).

Conclusion

At this point in Ed's and Izzy's life, the death scene and how it was written/acted is perfect, in my opinion. But for the characters, it's incredibly tragic.

Izzy never got what he wanted most - Ed's love. He died believing almost his whole life was a mistake, keeping Ed from his true self for far too long and destroying him in the process. In the end, the crew who had unconditionally loved and accepted him, stood at a distance, and the man he still loved over anyone and anything else never told Izzy what he meant to him - and now he never will.

Ed was absolved of his guilt and maybe, in the moment, he even believed it. But of course everything that happened in S2, and everything before that, wasn't (only) Izzy's fault and in the future, Ed has to deal with that. Only now there is no Izzy here to work it through with, and to make amends, no one who was there for it all and who knows parts of Ed best. When Ed finally realizes what Izzy meant to him, it will be too late.

So, if we get a S3 and nothing is ever made of all of this, if Izzy is really dead and the Ed/Izzy dynamic is done and dealt with, then it was bad writing (and I am so afraid that will actually happen).

But as it stands, I'm beginning to love the scene for what it is: a tragic, consistent ending for two characters that I love deeply.

But please don't tell me this was a kind ending.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd meta #izzy hands #edward teach #this got longer than expected #but it's a more positive take #I guess I want to make sense of it all - even Ep8 #and I want to love this show again!!#rewatching S1 right now and wow - I'm not ready to give this up yet

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hwanghyunjinenthusiast · 1 year

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I will block you if you are minor and have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.

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We all know Choi Seungcheol is a big baby. He'd get so whiney and pouty if you weren't paying attention to him when he wanted you to. You were in your shared bed finishing up some last minute work that had been dropped into your lap the day prior. Now, usually both of you are heavily against doing work in your bed but, there were some exceptions to that rule you'd both allowed in the past. This being one of them. Seungcheol isn't an unreasonable man. He knows you're busy and, you've assured him that you're close to finishing up. Trying to get this out of your hands as soon as possible. However, it's been awhile since you two have gotten the opportunity to spend some quality one on one time together because of your respective careers. He just misses his wife. So, maybe he's being a little bit more needy than usual.

You're focused on typing away on your laptop, absentmindedly reaching out to adjust one of the straps of your nightgown. Cursing your higher-up mentally for thinking you could apparently just whip up some top notch work last minute, without considering your feelings and commitments. It's during all of this you feel your husband's arms wrap around your waist and, his head pressed against your shoulder. "Cheol, I've missed you too baby but, I still have some work to finish," you remind him, gently reaching over to caress his cheek before resuming your typing. "I know, I just wanted to atleast touch you. I'll try not to get in the way," he responds, the pout in his voice evident without you even needing to look at his face. Cute. "Okay, I don't think this is too distracting," you reply, adjusting your laptop slightly so you're both comfortable in your new position.

You're startled out of your concentration when you feel his fingers toying with the hem of your nightgown and, his lips gently pressing a kiss to your shoulder. Now, normally these simple displays of affection wouldn't get you this riled up but, it's been well over a week since you two have been able to have sex and you're more high strung than you realised. "C-Cheol, I'm trying to work," you remind him, trying to regain focus from your very distracting husband. "I'm not doing anything. I'm just showing my wife some affection," comes his slightly gravelly reply, his hand caressing your thigh while he kisses along your shoulder. You try not to let out any sounds that might encourage him or, worse, stroke his already massive ego but, you can't help the whimper you let loose when finally reaches your neck. His smile against your skin quickly knocks you back to reality, your pride motivating you to return back to your work. "Come on baby," he tempts against your skin, his fingers inching towards your inner thighs, "You said your department head said it only has to be in by Monday. It's Saturday. You have time." You should've known better than to think Seungcheol would just let you work in peace. His experienced mouth making quick work of your exposed neck and shoulder, kissing and nibbling all the skin he has access to. "Y-Yeah but, the sooner I get it done, the sooner I can spend all my time with you," you try to reason, not focusing on anything on your screen. "You said you're almost finished anyways. You can just finish it tomorrow and, we can still spend time together tomorrow. A win-win," he fires back, his hand now encouraging you to spread your thighs for him. You're really trying your best here to remind yourself that it would be far more responsible to just finish your work tonight but, the logical part of your brain is quickly losing to the one that loves to fuck your husband. Atleast having the presence of mind to make sure your work is saved, you carefully shut your laptop and place it on your nightstand. Turning back to see your husband's shit eating grin, you barely resist the urge to roll your eyes before pulling him into a kiss. His fingers slowly make their way to your heat and, he groans into your mouth when he comes into contact with you completely bare. "Part of me thinks you wanted this to happen," he mutters against your mouth, giving your swollen clit barely there strokes. "Cheol, don't tease," you whine, fingers digging into his bicep. "You made me wait. I think it's only fair I return the favour," he responds, his eyes taking on a dangerous glint.

#can you tell I'm in my scoups feelings?#he is the biggest baby #man pouts 24/7 365 lol #i should stop rewatching going seventeen 💀#he's a menace but i love him #scoups smut #scoups #choi seungcheol #choi seungcheol smut #seventeen smut #seventeen #scoups smut drabble #seventeen smut drabble #scoups drabble #always ready to lust and simp for choi seungcheol #seungcheol smut #i blame going seventeen for this #it's the main culprit for how i end up here

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