#i.... i want to send them to therapy

[freuleinanna]

It's always trauma o'clock somewhere! Especially for these kids who had to come home and lie about why they returned from the camp a day later. They hardly had a chance to unpack the recent trauma, but I think this is how the HQ massacre affected their lives afterwards.

Jacob, as many others, chose a half-truth and told his parents that some jerk broke the car to stay with his girlfriend. He omitted the part where that jerk was him. Couldn't bear that guilt.

He was a decent swimmer and wanted to maybe take it professionally, but the next time he found himself at the pool, he completely froze at the signal. He never dived in that day. He stared at the blue-tiled water, and he saw the chains and the overblown body.

He found Emma on Instagram and, for a while, he was checking it obsessively, hoping she'd talk about what happened or mention it in some way, any way. He wanted to stop being so alone in knowing the truth and living with it. Emma never did that.

Emma, actually, fell silent for almost 2 months after her return. She'd speak the bare minimum, but never an actual conversation, never a joke. The happy, bubbly girl simply wasn't there. Her parents even took her to a teen therapist with little to no result.

Emma had stopped streaming for a while, although she still kept her Insta. One time she almost posted a selfie from that day, before the nightfall. Almost.

Some time later, she set up a really non-Emma-esque live stream. She was sitting in silence, looking at the sunset, the comment section was overflowing, and sometimes Emma would pick a question to answer from there. Many thought she was doing some sort of spiritual cleanse. She only spoke without a prompt for the first time when she saw Abi joining the stream.

For Abi, it was nightmares. That simple, that efficient. Dark forests, mist, dangerous beasts lurking around. What else to screw with the sleep of a sweet, tender person?

Movies on the background didn't help. Music didn't help. Drawing made everything worse, because in every shape, form, and shadow, beasts were lurking. Whenever she'd pick up a pencil to sketch, she left monsters on the paper. Wherever she looked, she saw monsters. Monsters always looked just a little bit like Nick.

It went on until the night she looked Emma up on Insta and, by pure coincidence, got to her live stream.

Nick blocked most of it out. There wasn't much to remember, but some memories still bled through.

He became the snack guy, the guy who always had something to chew on. It was a small quirk nobody was really paying attention to, but its trail led back to the only thing he did remember: hunger.

Whenever he emailed, Abi never replied.

Ryan, on the contrary, was replying to and receiving a LOT of emails. He was the one to send all the evidence to the Bizarre Yet Bonafide studio, and he also kept in touch with a few other Hacketteers, including Kaitlyn and Dylan.

Another thing he did is meticulously go through all his favorite media (TV & films mostly) and unbooked/deleted everything that dealt with guns being shot or vivid descriptions of wild animals (or their victims). This took him several hard days, but he finally felt safer when he did it.

He only watched something new if Dylan watched it first and gave him an okay.

Dylan, as opposed to Ryan, consumed horror content like his life depended on it. At some point, he even had a special notepad with details of how to defeat or protect yourself from all supernatural dangers and their mother. He kept this notepad on him at all times and often re-read it.

Getting used to not having a hand was slightly easier than he expected. What wasn't easy? That one time when his dad asked him to bring him sth to work. His father, a crane conductor on a construction site, did not expect his grown son to have a full-blown panic attack over a pb&j.

On the other hand (his joke, not mine), he got really close with Ryan and Kat, and they were planning a getaway together.

Kaitlyn was the one to propose the getaway. Despite the general total mindfuck, she managed to keep a cool head on the night of, and, surprisingly, it didn't cost her a hand and a leg (her joke, not mine!)

Thus, she became a healer. Reaching out, making sure. Helping. She didn't make it her sacred goal to help all others, but she tried, and that's what counts.

She kept tabs on Jacob especially. She knew he'd never ask for help. He didn't have to ask. That's what best friends are for.

Max never met any of those people, except Emma. That one time he bit his lip and nearly puked because he thought he remembered the taste of blood.

He topped his steak-cooking up to inventing the well-well-well-done steak without any possibility of there being blood.

Mostly, he just wasn't sure if he knew his own nature anymore. As the whole night was blocked in his mind, he could only trust Laura. And he did. The fact that she looked at him even more lovingly than before told him that if she trusts him, if she loves him, than it's okay.

Laura did trust him and loved him. But she also ran a gazillion of drills per week and kept at least two take-and-run bags in the house, and one in a special place. Clothes, flashlights, crackers, compass, you name it. She was an amateur that last time. Now she was ready for anything.

She took up running as well. She continued with vet studies. Even years after, the first thought that sprung to her mind if someone was butten by an animal was: CUT THE FUCKING LIMB.

Max kept her grounded with his laugh and his honest, sincere warmth. She could have gone really cold inside if it wasn't for him.

#i.... i want to send them to therapy #the quarry #the quarry spoilers #the quarry thoughts #the quarry game #supermassive games #laura kearney #max brinly #jacob custos #emma mountebank #abigail blyg #dylan lenivy #nick furcillo #ryan erzahler #kaitlyn ka

[justallihere]

Most Heartbreaking Line

@skyfallscotland tagged me to post my most heartbreaking line and with everything that’s coming up (and everything that’s already happened) I actually had trouble choosing but here you go!

Liam held her even tighter. “It’s my honor,” he said softly, pressing a kiss to her hair. “To be your friend. To be your guard. To know you. I would do it all over again, Vi.”

#don’t send me your therapy bills I don’t want them and I won’t pay them #storm in the quiet

[blvcklizard]

I'm still grieving the friendship they could have had

#they could have helped each other so much #I'm aware they won't get the chance to but i don't want them #to forgive each other for what happened during greed arc #but what could have been. #this is like sending them to therapy but with a good sibling relationship instead #servamp #lawless servamp #tsubaki servamp

[whentherewerebicycles]

i have a very stupid problem that is causing me a very stupid amount of distress. my aunts are planning my baby shower which will be in my home city (a place where none of my friends live). we are inviting a bunch of family and tbh it's solely so i can get stuff from my registry. i feel okay about that part because i've bought gifts for all the extended family baby showers and weddings over the years and it seems fine to be like 'ok now it's my turn i really need the help.' the part that is making me feel weird is that my aunts feel strongly that i should ALSO send invites to all of my out of town friends, including college and grad school friends, because those people might send me gifts too. i think that a lot of my friends WILL end up buying something from my registry or sending something (a lot of them have asked already!) and that's very nice of them!!! and i do think i might want to send a birth announcement or something later just as a "hey! a big thing happened in my life!" kinda thing. but i feel super uncomfortable sending out invites to an event i know they can't attend (and would never expect them to fly to a random city for!!) because then it just feels obvious that i'm asking for a gift instead, and that makes me feel bad!!! but also idk my brother and SIL just had a MASSIVE shower where like 50+ of their friends came (because they went to college in our hometown and all their friends still live there) and my cousin just had a big shower too (she lives and works in our hometown) so i also just feel dumb for like. having a very small kinda lame shower where my extended family is gonna be like oh... does she not have any friends?

#why am i on the verge of TEARS about this #it's so dumb #yet another one of these weird intensely gendered rites of passage or whatever #but also it's bringing up all these weird feelings around single parenting for whatever reason #like i feel like my extended family is going to be politely tiptoeing around the fact that i'm not partnered #and then i think i just feel insecure because part of me wants to be like but LOOK i have all these friends who i love and who love me #so i'm not like UNLOVABLE #but that is dumb why do i even care what they think #or what i am imagining they think #well maybe this is the topic to tackle in therapy el oh el #i just had a furious crying jag about it #i think i'm just going to tell them like #this will be a family only shower #and i'll send a birth announcement to my friends later

[roboyomo]

i might not be able to ocpost in form of a new drawing today (fucking damnit) but.,,,, have this more than a year old drawing of the oc lore mc,, (his name is yaku, or okazaki yaku if you wanna use the full name). pls hold this little critter as i try to give some tiny bit of oc lore info about this guy and the main antagonist below the cut

Yaku is more of a confused and anxious guy at the start as he literally knows nothing (he just died and got to afterlife, let him have a moment to adapt). Which then gradually turns into being more serious and (mostly) collected in specific situations, while also being a big overthinker that is nervous about anything sudden happening. He is a 20 year old man that slowly forms a family bond with like. everyone at his now "forever" job (Except for a few). That same job being fucking hand-picked out of the billions of people out there to become one of the warriors at the top company of what would be "Hell" to take on many different tasks and requests, as well as the protection of the world he now belongs to. Though at the same job, Yaku is considered as 𝘵𝘩𝘦 weakest employee/warrior, literally weaker than the fighter that is a child (All because of a certain lore mechanic for those same warriors or fighters but it is,,, too much to explain in one post). All the employees were supposed to be blessed by the Gods as to truly be worth of the role that grants great responsibility for the billion of souls living in the same world they are in, and Yaku did get his blessing, Blessing of Thunder.

Moving a bit further from that, Yaku has very big attachment issues in a way that he will get emotionally attached to someone a bit toooo hard if he truly enjoys their company (literally what happened with him and all of his coworkers he loves them all so much). The problem is that one of those of coworkers is quite literally the main antagonist, Kenix or Yi Dal if you prefer his real name (has lore mechanics attached to him based off one of the Deadly Seven Sins). Yea Kenix's and Yaku's relationship is fucking complicated, especially since Kenix is Yaku's uncle (i don't have the time to explain the confusing family tree okay)

Kenix has a brain rot going on, in the quite literal sense (He is cursed and with each day, he loses his sanity and detaches from himself more and more to the point of not being able to have full control over his actions if he is just. a tad bit more insane than usual), so he treats Yaku very badly in the first story arc. He wants to feel guilt over his actions, he desperately wants to be able to feel empathy for his nephew - but with every passing day, he is forgetting about his morals as he is losing 𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧. Despite all that, Yaku is already way too heavily attached to Kenix as he is his relative (some heavy found family shit is going on), so he tries to see the best in him, give Kenix a new chance each time to prove that he can get better. But that is not happening any time soon, Yaku,,,,

anyways ending the ocpost at this. I am sorry if this is a cringe premise for the lore but i swear. i poured my heart into this for more than two years and it means so so SO much to me it is my most comfort thing ever, it will make sense later on with more posts like these [screaming and crying] (and if you wanna,,, you can send asks about specific oc lore parts you want to know or just the ocs in general,,, just saying)

#yea i would say get them both to therapy but they are beyond repair as the story progresses on #PLEASE TELL ME IT IS NOT CRINGE. I AM TRYING SO HARD TO MAKE AN INTERESTING STORY. UWAAAAGHHH😭😭 #yomo ocs?! #<- might become my oc tag #anyways if you want to learn more about these guys #please please PLEASE send asks or questions about them i will gladly answer and explain all the oc lore. #i just want.. for people to be truly interested in their stories because they mean the world to me #yomoposting #txt #ocs #my ocs #oc lore #oc stuff #there are like 33 characters i have in total. i have to draw them all at some point

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[arsonist-chicken]

btw in absolutely unsurprising news I fucked up the exam of that class I'm taking for the third time badly again.

in very surprising news, apparently Something happened, idk if the dean said something to the professor or I looked like a distressed broken down wet rat enough or he just doesn't want to see me in his class again or idk, maybe it's not good for him if someone fails his class three times, but he actually offered that I could do a written exam on friday instead? which. is extremely surprising. good, because it gives me another afternoon to study and I can draw and go back to questions on a written exam, even if I have to shuffle around the other exams and papers now, just. very surprising.

#lol but next semester is the fucking seminar again with also the same professor #idk how you can teach such shitty classes regularly and never think hmmm maybe i should change something #with the amount of people having to take the classes at least twice #anyway good for me i'll keep crying over uni the rest of the week and the weekend too and then i'll do stuff next week #like i need to call my insurance and annoy them in person until they say yes to any therapist who will have me #and call the other thing #and oh i really need to find a different GP because i'm soundly back at the stage of where i can literally not think two sentences #after each other without trailing off or it taking up extremely much energy just to remember which store i wanted to go to #and i'm aware that stress and mental illness causes brain fog or whatever #but i've been stressed before but this only started last autumn and i need a different doctor to look at it #who won't just say oh it's just iron levels #there's something wrong with my brain and i need someone competent who actually cares to look at it and tell me #if therapy will fix this or if it's a physical problem #please let it be just brain fog htat therapy can fix i don't have time for this #i just want to sleep and cry until this bs is over but semester break starts next week but i still have exams then and a whle list of #stuff to do for uni still plus stuff otuside. like a doctor. and sleep a normal amount instead of in weird horu intervals on my desk and in #my clothes on my bed or floor or wherever i am at the moment my brain decides it's over now #also friends. i wanted to catch up. also a job. like. yeah i need a job even if idk how i'll do uni and a job with the way my brain is righ #now #huh. oh i have another exam in half an hour. send help i don't want to go to uni anymore #mine #still don't know what that class or the seminar next semester are about btw but we moce #*move #goddamn it I'm TIRED and not just in the physical sense #i'm so goddamn done with uni and insurances deciding about psychotherapy and the general state of the world and cost of living #and i miss my friends and i want to visit them but nither them nor me have time and travelling is expensive #and ijust want a goddamn fucking break but i don't see one comign anytime soon. not before summer #but probably not even then #and after that i'll start working so like #at least no goddamn seminars anymore but i still absolutely dread having to decide where i want to work a

[tbiscool35]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers 💜💜

Crochet/Knitting: mostly crochet, I do pretty much all the types (amigurumi, garments, filet, lace etc)

Dice and Dice Making: I became a hobby dice maker to justify my dice addiction. Does it take like 7hrs to sand a set... maybe, but now I have sexy colourshift dice that would have cost me like $200AUD otherwise. (*cough* the dice making setup cost more than that *cough*)

Cakes/Brownies/Waffles: baked goods are glorious and I love them above almost every other food type. Also I'm a big believer in crunchy (on the outside, not on the inside) waffles and soft waffles should just bow before their magesty.

Greggs sausage rolls: idk if this counts because I haven't had them in years because I moved to Australia at like age 6 and only returned to England briefly in 2019 but greggs sausage rolls haunt my dreams. I will never have a better sausage roll and I feel deep depression in my soul that Greggs doesn't have an aussie presence. Greggs in general just slapped, anyone going to england needs to make it their first meal there.

Ao3: This website is the reason why whenever my phone sends me its little status report of what I've been doing, chrome takes up like 90% of my usage. I fandom hop so I can't put down a single fandom but I love this website dearly and real books just cannot stand up to the absolute insanity (affectionate) that fic writers come out with.

Like you just don't get this shit in books:

#do not judge the bnha fic reading #I avoid the fandom cus the shippers are unhinged #as a multishipper the only thing I have an issue with is therapy-free bakudeku #if u want them to bone u gotta send them both to turbo therapy #they have significant issues and those issues will not be resolved by ignoring them #dice making #crochet #fanfiction

[soggypotatoes]

one thing my mum taught me was generosity

my parents grew up dirt poor, they've ended up with a lot of money via being lucky with well paid job + workaholicism lmao

my mum used to tell me, there's no point in having big numbers in your bank account. it's just a number. if you can make you and your friends lives easier and prettier, you should do it, because in the end it's just money! it's just money, and the people you love (and yourself!) are more important

ik saying 'its just money' is very privileged, but it comes from realising that money has a purpose, yknow. I'm not great with money, and I do have an issue with not seeing my money as my own, so that mindset had some drawbacks (my dad also used to lecture me about how I shouldn't buy things for myself, only for others, but he buys hoards of useless shit for himself so. yknow). it's also hard when all your friends are struggling and you see donation posts every day and people on the streets, and it's like.. what do I do with this?? I'm on government money, but I know if it's bad my parents will always be able to support me. i still buy myself stuff.

idk what I'm saying in this post. just thought wandering I guess. I guess I'm saying, I appreciate my parents for teaching me this, even if it's a bit maladaptive.

#i got upset a while back #bc my mum pays for my therapy multiple times a week #and she admitted it was draining her savings #i felt *awful* #but she said they've travelled a lot in their lives #and they have multiple properties (one they bought for me to rent) #she said again #that they dont need the big number #they have security and they want me and my friends to be cared for #ed mumbles #i get overwhelmed by their generosity sometimes #when i looked at my dads instagram and saw he met a school teacher in cambodia #and he regularly sends them big boxes of school supplies #and part of me is crying bc #whyd he get angry at me for needing money as a kid #but.. it's trauma babes.. #it's ok. i can take this trait from them

[whumpacabra]

⚖️ What do they want to change about their life? for ghost

Ooo what would Ghost change about his life??? That’s a good one. He first and foremost would want to leave the black market business, make a fresh start far away from anyone that knows him. He can’t - safety reasons of course; you can’t lead a normal life after that kind of work without looking over your shoulder until you’re dead. He wouldn’t want to put RJ and Casey through that, especially when they understand the life he led until he met them. But more than that he knows that it’s been a part of his life for too long to just leave behind. It would be dramatic to say he was addicted to the rush of his work, but he would certainly be restless and never be able to find satisfaction in any work outside of it. But god, what he wouldn’t give for a fresh start.

[ask game]

#whump #beans speaks #ask game #answered asks #I eat worlds #freelancers #ghost I think is the only one in the European Crew who never went to therapy ever and it shows #RJ? Casey? Even Liza? sure. Ghost is an old grumpy man who would not be caught dead in a therapist’s office. #internal ghost monologue like: #(he wants a do-over. he wants to go back for Wolf instead of waiting for a response that never comes. #he wants to send RJ away before they become too attached to him. he wants to let them live a normal life. #he wants to pressure Liza into taking responsibility for Casey. he wants to encourage her to apologize and do better. #but if he can’t get a clean slate and burn every bridge to rebuild new ones…what’s the point of trying when everything’s so fucked already?

[silverspleen]

There's something incredibly funny about sending a commission inquiry to an artist with open comms, a post about wanting more comms, and thinking to yourself "ooooh I'm so nervous about this I am going to get a bad grade in asking people to draw things for me" a normal thing to worry about. Like this isn't work bro you can send a single email to a person. You send professional work emails literally all the time. You're an adult! Don't be such a baby you dingus.

#the dragoon diaries #I send professional emails TO DOCTORS #I walk into work and I talk to DOCTORS. I just go right up to them and say “hey u wanted that test right tell physical therapy to fuck off” #“my turn now” #and yet....

[snixx]

how do you say no to kids:')

#the thing is i actually said no to them a bunch of times #i am going to have to learn how to if i want to become a teacher help #adults and teens are easy #they're more interested in my phone than in me at this point #i think I'll just take them up and put the movie for them on the desktop #tried that today but i forgot i had therapy #damn it i had a legit excuse today #NO BUT THEY'RE ALWAYS DOWN #oh to be six and have no life other than playing in the grass #so avoidance is out. assertion is out. excuses are thinning #send help #vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com #they don't even want to play with me anymore they just want my phone #maybe I'll just not go down until after the boards

[thormanick]

that's how it goes right-

#i've been thinking about this for ages and FINALLY #i am yet to learn the event-related silver-ash-family-lore if it even exists but i do remember from character files #that pramanix and her brother do not really see eye to eye #i want to send them to a family therapy. all of them. cliffheart can hang out with amber and klee in the meantime- #genshin impact #arknights #genshin impact diluc #genshin impact kaeya #arknights silverash #arknights pramanix #btw does anybody know the name of diluc's bird?? it drives me crazy that silverashe's one has a name but diluc's doesn't lol #afinna explores teyvat #dr afinna and the rhodes island #genshin impact meme #arknights meme #on a completely other note midnight and kaeya WOULD be friends #thanks for coming to my ted talk

[glimpsesofeuterpe]

been glancing at 2023's stuff for a moment, now wondering if it wasn't as bad as it seemed or was it

...did anything even happen at all? gotta try to take a look at bites

- have realised i have developed an ability to experience romantic interest or mb it was always there, failed to notice under layers of trauma and denial

- nearly every night i cried my eyes out about my ex friend in question (we broke up in the end of 2k22)... first weird exp or not, by now i know i should have known better and escape earlier. tbh it's been a struggle to move on fully, i still kinda miss that attention x ignoring combo and blunt wannabe guru "lessons", at least thanks to him i know what one shouldnt be doing if they wanna be a better friend

- i managed to make more friends and met one irl ... all just to fail later and avoid almost all interactions esp personal chats as apparently i am really scared of getting abandoned again, it's way easier for me to avoid and stay mostly alone... besides i still don't have enough energy to provide new ppl with anything more useful than basic enertainment

- despite stuff mentioned above, i figured out i love talking to ppl and i really wanna do good, i wanna love and be loved even even if it could be too much to wish for

- finally became a massagist!

- somehow nailed to help some ppl (wat)

- learned how to bake without setting everything on fire

- computer's video card died, so had to deal with a very laggy ol laptop

- fixed computer parts, switched from windows 7 to windows 10

- improved drawing skills, started to figure backgrounds out

- started to discover clip paint studio

- lots of rp madness was going on! felix and pals my beloved <3

- started to return back to actual writing

- spent most of summer in parks

- kinda started listening podcasts again ... this reminds i should resume woe dot begone, ty popping up in person when

- simon petrikov and elliot stardew valley taking the top spot on my list of comfort muses

#blahblah #oversharing #conclusion: i need actual therapy #how do you find a decent ru professional who won't blame you for things you got no control over #not sends you to a local ol soviet hospital where they punish ppl and feed them with drugs instead of helping idk #will i ever afford something more effective than free medicine #likely i will #but humane psychiatry stuff? no idea #russia still sucks a lot regarding this #yes stuff is getting improved #but holy shit there are so many wannabes by now #esp american style uwu ones who brainwash kiddos into thinking they are always right #needless to say trendy shit does not fit in with russian reality at all but only creates more illusions about the world #eventually this will backfire with crazy outcomes and randomness knows i want to stay as far as possible no need in a frying pan #i sure love complaiining every now and then #could have made a twitxter career lol

[robinsnest2111]

re: my last (dark memory lane) post

my sweet boy (child me) didn't deserve this needless bullying from his own father 😭

#vent art woooooooo #I WANNA TRAVEL BACK IN TIME TELL MY FATHER OFF FOR TREATING CHILD ME LIKE THIS AND THEN HOLD N COMFORT CHILD ME #tbh i don't want to ever be a parent but I'm pretty sure i could be a better parent in the emotional department #than my mother and father ever were #like i KNOW they both had kind of shitty distant parents growing up BUT IT WAS STILL HURTFUL OF THEM TO TREAT ME LIKE THEY DID #i really need therapy to work through all these confusing and painful memories idk for how much longer i can repress them all lmao #whenever they come back up the send me spiralling 👍

[daz4i]

you ever hype yourself up to send a message to a professional you don't know yet abt smth you probably need (a-la therapy and such) but then you’re like “wait if i send this message there’s a real chance i’ll get a reply. and what would i do then. oh god oh fuck” and chicken out

#hey ig it's still at least somewhat of a step forward...? #given how beforehand i didn't want to send a message at all lol #i've had these numbers for over a month and still haven't used them. idk if these ppl are even still available #(this isn't abt actual therapy btw it's that thing i mentioned abt the government helping ppl recover ig) #man the thought of this made me so distressed i kinda wanna go lie down alkjdfhg i'm panicking for no reason now