#idk how i'm supposed to tag these things...?

[litany-writes]

just my type [ch. 1]

a landoscar vampire au

Oscar leans in to read the label on the bloodpack. “Anyways, that one’s rabbit,” he says, matter-of-factly, before standing up from the couch and stretching. “How the fuck did you-” “Oryctolagus. European rabbit genus.” Nerd, Lando thinks. “Nerd,” Lando says, and he stands up too, binning the Monster can as Oscar returns the bloodpack to the fridge. In which Oscar is a vampire, is crushing on his teammate, and is attempting at all costs to avoid Carlos Sainz. In which Lando is aware of none of these things.

aka i'm back to longform writing (...and RPF writing...) for the first time in 2-3 years! this is what i did last week instead of my psychology homework. that probably say something about me. enjoy!!

#litany writes fanfiction ! #landoscar #lando norris #oscar piastri #formula 1 #f1 #f1 fanfic #landoscar fic #idk how i'm supposed to tag these things...? #if i was a more organized and aesthetically-motivated person i would have made one of those neat header graphics for this #alas i am not one of those people

[wardingshout]

Viridian besties my beloved

#pokespe #pokemon special #pokespe yellow #pokespe silver #my art #I put a timelapse of that second one on my twitter if anyone here likes stuff like that ! :3c #I planned nothing for these I was just like ''oooh new brush go wroom'' and had a blast #it's supposed to be like the tegaki brush and it honestly feels very similar ! #I couldn't find a tegaki palette though but I used one that looks a bit similar maybe idk #this really reminded me it's time to practice how to draw bodies again and I'm hell yeah thats fun !!! #practicing composition too ?? no way thats hard I'm tired of doing hard things smh #can you believe I almost posted this with no rambly tags on it yeah me neither #pokemon

[maxsix]

#i made this just for hyunjin and his weirdly placed piercing #hwang hyunjin #stray kids #felix #changbin #38th gda 2023 #golden disc awards 2023 #no offence to the other people in this gifset #but the absolutely failure of the camerman not to pan slightly to the other side #so that hideous logo wasn't obscuring God's face #Tell Him The North Won't Forget This #and i say its a Him because no woman would do this #skz hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin #idk what and how else to tag him for the tumblr people sorry #let me know how i'm supposed to tag things

[suburbanlegnd]

the sexual tension between me and relapse

#venting in the tags so be careful #being bipolar and bpd at the same time feels like the worst nightmare #the slightest inconvenience will send me into a fucking spiral #people have always been telling me either to “cheer up” or “go to a mental hospital because I'm fucked in the head” #i perfectly know I'm incapable and unworthy of love #I'm starting to doubt if I'm able to love the right way at all #but I'm so sick of toxic positivity #not everything's going to be alright #sometimes bad things happen #and not everyone is supposed to be cheerful and grateful all the fucking time #it's just so tiring and exhausting #they really dont realize how much toxic positivity is damaging and so naive #tw depressing thoughts #idk how to tag this lol #rambles #actually bpd #bpd vent

[averlym]

" just...come here. just sit here with me" (...that one scene from princess momonoke, click for better resolution)

#tw death mentioned for the tag rambles!! (sorry) #meme redraw gone wrong (high effort). don't ask me how i did this- i don't know either. consider this perhaps an AU of the pyre scene? #or more accurately just my internal wonderings visualised. sometimes the vibes from the implications don't pan out the same way #i also lost the original sketch somewhere in my papers. alas. i vaguely recall thinking this would be haha funny and then somewhere down #the line it turned to angst. other quotes that inspired this from the show were 'ily. i'm sorry' and 'i will always be so proud of you'. #smth smth they met on the roof!! vincent stops quincy from jumping off and then. vincent tries to die + eventually quincy kills him on the #very same roof. anyway the quincent death scene was spinning around for a bit in my head and out of the miscellaneous sketches this won out #wanted to play w the strong blue lighting + bg + silhouette things that you get w stage lighting // replaced the knife w vincent's scalpel #quincy is kneeling bc poses + idk why it's fun staging for him ;-; // also the proximity + intimacy.. // the pyre is also in the bg #but it's silhouetted behind quincy. i think the last quincy post made me associate symbolism (help??) bc as i was painting i was thinking o #angel wings ksdjfh // not to mention the halos. halos are always fun to paint.. shiny stuff... #and from the last vincent art. i guess the star and eye imagery carried over. hm. tried to get the quincy halo to match so its like a #rounder less spiky star? which hehe aligns w the sun vibes (that i??can't explain??) but more importantly here i was thinking about #binary stars for the glowy parts. two in orbit in pull to one another.. tension.. ue. also the glow for vincent goes to stabby eye so like #behind the face shown to viewer. meanwhile for quincy it goes in front of the face #and of course u have the downward linking implied line from quincy's tears +scalpel + glowy eye. #this is supposed to be rotatable.. in landscape form u can have either quincy or vincent upright (pov) + it should work both ways #//bonus stuff is vincent holding the skask w bloody hands + shadow looks like blood spatters. like it would if quincy did the stabby. #hhhh this is the most. confused i have been making a piece lately.. just toss in a lot of fun visual stuff and mix.. #if the rambling analysis here seems pointless and confused i think that's why. this is why u should plan out your essays o.O.. #oh. stuff i just remembered: the whole impetus for vincent planning his own death was so quincy would be happy / it's already #mentioned before quincy kills vincent that he's severely injured- vincent says it's fine- ig u could intepret it as a finishing blow? #hastened over the phaethon announcement- when they make the second announcement quincy looks up smiling until the admin gives it to #beatrix-he didn't know.. // <- so for this it's possible to infer that vincent wasn't very attached to living anymore.. hence why they look #more accepting above. while quincy is looking very angsty and conflicted. yeah.. // tldr! don't look into it too deeply it's a meme redraw #adamandi #quincy cynthius martin #vincent aurelius lin #tw knife

[da-proti-toku-grem]

why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad #and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay #but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh #like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet #but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety #or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place #1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out #2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me #3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days #4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for - #- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night #but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?' #i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed #and people where always like 'oh she's just shy' #but idk wtf changed #maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk #but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me #i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not #but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix #or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY #have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them #even if i don't like them #instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety?? #i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc #but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day* #aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up #it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all............. #ranting

[butterflieswhisper]

hhelp wait this is so funny. didnt you follow me forever ago after a scott themed october song analysis . sorry if you dont remember that and this ask doesnt make sense but this is still funny to me

hi!!!! yeah. it was the cherri crane lives art i think and also where you made your flower husbands tag! I have never really interacted with fh outside of you (and like, seeing pretty fanart) but i am nonetheless deeply invested in your interpretation specifically!!! I honestly haven't watched jimmy outside of rats and the beginning of empires2 either i genuinely have no clue what they get up to you just seem to have a lot of fun with it

#asks #<-omg i can make that a tag now #i also am a year behind on the life series. i think the most recent one i've seen is double #like from any pov. i am a year behind. however that goes for everything on youtube #my poor watch later playlist hit the 5000 video limit forever ago and so did the second one i made to replace it. i am on my third #but seriously i don't know what goes on in fh canon but i like their blue/yellow thing they have going on. idk if that's like? intentional? #but like scott blue and canary yellow are really pretty colors together #and they are also SO close to being complimentary colors and yet. they aren't. just a little bit off #they don't quite fit quite how they should. i made that up on the spot i mostly think yellow and blue are nice colors #i think my biggest exposure to scott before you was literally the deal with destiny song in empires1 #and i don't even think i acknowledged him as like a real guy ykwim. #like oh yeah. scott smajor. he's like. in that song lizzie made or something. he can sing alright i guess (plays it on loop)(plays it on lo #whisp whispers #seeing u post about Discourse(tm) is always really funny to me because i didn't realize for a while that u did not have like #the 'normal' interpretation? like i didn't realize you had a different view than other people #i was like oh yeah the relationship held in the death games is toxic. that makes sense yeah and is not surprising #and then suddenly there would be a post where you mention discourse and i went. Ohhhhh wait they're supposed to be HAPPY!!! #but i feel like this is infinitely more enjoyable i love Flawed Characters #and especially now after watching his rats. i get it. i get it i get it i see what you are saying #he doesn't interact much with jimmy hes mostly with owen and. i mean #'i've never heard someone apologize so much while putting the blame on the other person'???? i see exactly what you mean #r!scott accidentally hurting r!owen and then apologizing profusely while insisting it's because owen stood in his way. and then immediately #isolating himself in a room for like 20 minutes and refusing to interact with anyone feels like. idk #it reminds me of ur rambles and i understand them more now i think. kind of #to be clear by 'with' i mean like. in proximity of. those rats are AROMANTIC!!!!! (to me) #i'm so sorry these tags are a mess. but alas #i also think it's really funny to follow Flower Husbands guy and know nothing abt them. invested by proxy. whenever i hear abt scott giving #jimmy a flower i get excited not because like i know what's going on but because omg! that's like that thing bree talks about sometimes!! #i hope that like. any of this makes sense shdbfjk

[kqluckity]

i don't understand why i keep seeing posts that are like "oh elquackity didn't remember *x information that someone told qquackity months ago in passing* but qquackity knew so he would've remembered and this is why they're not the same person and elquackity keeps fucking up" because ??? are we forgetting qquackity used to forget things he witnessed/did/said from one stream to the other? how he used to change his mind on things all the time and then acting like he didn't the next time saw him?

i used to constantly see posts joking about how the federation was wiping his memory regularly because it was that bad!! and now suddenly it's all "oh he doesn't know because he's not the same person" and. of course he's not the same person we have established that but what I'm trying to say is. qquackity wouldn't have known either so that's not a good way to prove it, especially if things are presented to him in very vague ways that could mean anything depending on how you want to see it.

it's also why i think he told qmaxo "don't put words into my mouth" when maxo took what elq said during their fight and read it in a way that made it look like he confirmed he worked for the federation, even though that was not what he said. but since the wording was vague enough, it could've been possible for maxo to think that. it's all personal bias lmao

and actually i think it's fine for some more perceptive characters, like baghera cellbit and bad and maxo himself, to be suspicious of elq for acting off, but especially bad knew damn well qq lost track of what he was doing easily and things said to him entered his brain from one ear and left from the other, so imo it's mostly for meta reasons that they think elq is another person and not a brainwashed qq but i could be wrong and that's also why they suspect everything he says even more than they did with qq (because let's not forget. they used to accuse him of working for the federation all the time. but it's only a problem now that he's dangerous and not just someone they can laugh off)

#like. to us it's obvious they're different people their mannerisms are different too and we can see ccq act them out #but come on #let's not forget how qquackity was just because we know all this #the fact that elq doesn't know everything qq is supposed to know isn't as bad as it'd be if he were. say. philza or cellbit or fit #because chances are qq would've forgotten too #iiiidk if this makes sense to anyone else #i just saw a post about how elq didn't know that qveg adopted qro and that's why qfoosh was his dad #and that's further proof of him not being the same as qq or whatever but like. qq would've probably forgotten too #idk maybe I'm the one misinterpreting him all the time because everyone seems to ignore these things but i can't. #like what happened during festa junina. why does everyone keep ignoring what he said during that stream i don't understand. did i make it up #whatever #I'm not trying to start anything with this post btw and it's not about anything/anyone in particular it's just something ive been seeing #for a while now that i find a bit confusing #qsmp #mcyt tag

[an-error-0ccurred]

Here are some barely holding on eggs! Which one are you!?!?!

(1) A bunch of fricked up little creepy spider babies that are not really in an egg they're in a silk sack but honestly they're vibing and don't really want to leave so they're just eating each other

Itchy, random pains, pains that are faint and disappear only to reappear again, scared of spider georg, tastes like metal, loves ice

(2) blood you are full of blood and it likes to come out a lot

Blood, blood, for some reason your mouth feels like pineapple, blood, guess what more blood

(3) a unfortunate little chick who's got one leg that's shorter than the other and doesn't really have a beak so they're just kind of licking at the inside of the eggshell with their weird bird tongue

Generally tired, unsteady, visibly recognized as disabled, has probably eaten several worms, and will eat more

(4) two worms and one rollie pollie in a dirty plastic Easter egg

Tells people you are living your best life, you are most definitely not living your best life, your joints won't stay in and honestly you've given up on trying, someone should definitely check up on you

(5) acorn

Is not an egg, should not be on this list, has never broken a bone but is definitely a frequent flyer at the ER, might make a good jelly

(6) human pregnant person

Growing a whole ass person, while being a person, badass, quick question does it ever bother you that there's something inside of you that has its own autonomy and therefore moves inside of you but not under your control, eats the best snacks

(7) a gloopy handful of frog eggs freshly scooped from the pond the pond being a algae-filled forgotten bucket behind the shed

Gelatinous, full of sticks, wishing your head would feel either cold or hot to help with your migraines, no appetite, gelatinous, sweaty

(8) already decomposing unfertilized snake egg

Your body is literally melting, you might be on fire, would stab someone unprovoked, would insult when provoked, full of glue, overestimates you're own capabilities

Make enough friends and you can probably collect them all or you could be all of them if you are I'm sorry

#idk #idk how to tag this #my body is an eggshell with so very many cracks #chronic migraine #chronic illness #chronic pain #hypermobile ehlers danlos #cripple punk #eggs #im honestly a little bit delirious right now but I'm vibing #mental illness #disablity #i should sleep #insominac #insomniac thoughts #funny? #shitpost #shitposting #I'm still figuring out the Tumblr thing how many tags am I supposed to add #shower thoughts #I'm not in the shower but I did shower recently does that count? #which one are you #which one

[daz4i]

let me preface this by clarifying i am not anti therapy in any way whatsoever and in fact encourage people to get therapy if they can and even go the extra step to help friends find the right type of therapy that may help them

ok now that that's out of the way.

therapy is bullshit man you go to a therapist saying "hey. i wanna kill myself. can you help me stop wanting to kill myself somehow?" and they go "sure! first step, stop wanting to kill yourself" and you say "well i can't. that's why i came to you. bc i don't know. how to stop wanting to kill myself" and they'll say "that's a shame. i can't help you if you want to kill yourself. that'll be 125$ please"

#mad abt my old therapist again #even checked the cost of sessions in usd to make this accessible. came out to be 124$ and a bit. and i did that on a weekly basis for YEARS #and i'm extra mad bc trying to find a new therapist is already hard esp with bpd where your options are very limited as is #but when they ask abt my history with therapy and they ask why i stopped seeing him after years. what am i supposed to say #so that scares them off and they say they can't help me or they're like. scared to go deep with me ig. bc idk. they're scared I'll snap? #what am i supposed to do. hospitalizing myself isn't an option obvs. what is there left. #it feels like a cycle #like. 'i can't help you if you don't want to help yourself'. but i need help even figuring out how to want that #and it's not like ppl in my life know how to help. tbh they usually make it worse. so loved ones aren't an option and professionals aren't - #- an option. so what is there left. how am i supposed to do a thing that comes naturally to others but not to me #even with medication even being in a recovery program i want to kms more than i used to for years #I'm supposedly taking the right steps. but. to get metaphorical ig. the road is crumbling and there's nowhere to go #and that only makes me spiral more. despite taking the right steps i feel like i'm only getting worse. there's no hope for me. lol #vent #suicide // #negative // #ask to tag #i need a good cry like full-on sobbing and screaming but unfortunately. i became too emotionally constipated for that

[httpiastri]

how about if... i just... don't do my work.....

#ohhh right i was supposed to connect my phone! i totally forgot about that!! and i didn't read that par #of the email you sent me... just all other parts... and even though you told me to do it this tuesday and also last week i just forgot... #pls i'm so unmotivated #i speedran a lot of my work stuff but now it's like #my job computer has freaked out and i should go to the like it services help but i just can't be bothered #idk the guys working there are kinda sketchy (and they're probs on lunch break rn) plusssss i don't have a like access card (????) so like #if i leave the office i cant really get back in so i'll have to knock on the door and hope someone lets me in lol i just don't wanna #the only assignment i have left for the day is something i need the work computer to do but i just don't wanna talk to people to get help.. #also none of my bosses or coworkers in my department are here... its just me and this one lady from the economy department so no one knows #she either listening to really loud music in her headphones or she doesn't even have headphones?? either way i can hear her music clearly 😶 #also!! the n1 thing i should do but just cant is #im supposed to go to the front desk and like connect my phone to my boss's number so i get her calls because shes on holiday or whatever #but like... i still really really *really* can't talk on the phone #there's just no way im doing that #i just don't know how to fake like #sounds believable? #much more fun to rant in tags than to work 👍 #and to think of how obsessed i am with lando norris #OMG PAUL F2 ANNOUNCEMENT RN AS IM TYPING AAAAAA #HELP

[bluejayblueskies]

turns out i'm still mad at how everyone in t/ma treated jon actually

#like. okay. #without getting to far into discourse bc frankly it's not worth dragging that all up again out of the depths of hell where it belongs #and because i have thought about the other characters' motivations and about the nuances of how a terrible situation impacts all involved #etc. etc. #there really was no reason to go so hard on the 'jon is The Embodiment Of Everything That Has Ever Gone Wrong In The Podcast Ever' thing #it got to the point where it was actively frustrating to listen to especially in season five #((and tbh listening to rq commentaries only made it worse bc it made me realize 'oh they. they don't think that the way jon was treated #is actually as bad or as big of a deal as i did' #which kinda turned me off canon tma content for a while)) #anyway. idk i just sometimes question whether or not the other characters acting the way they did toward jon was actually #necessary or if it was just a remnant from when jon was supposed to have a corruption arc that was never corrected for some reason #discourse #tma discourse #(if this shows up in the tag i'm sorry i just. hghhhhh. if tma2 starts pulling the same nonsense i am quitting immediately #and retreating into the arms of male/volent my beloved)

[greatprotector-if]

i wanna finish this prologue so badly and get it out to the people. my god i NEED to know what people think of these characters. i am but a single parent bringing my children to their first day of preschool and hoping they make tons of friends

i go on break in april so!!!! getting the update out within the next few months is the goal [:

#idk what i'm supposed to tag this with #i'm so bad at tagging things i don't know how to use tumblr #ramblings

[astriiformes]

.

#really genuinely disheartened by the news about the latest toh ep leaking weeks before it was supposed to premiere #because like i would never watch an episode early when it's not what the creators want. that's a terrible thing to do #but it seems like a lot of other people just do not care #and so instead i have to just sort of. lock myself out of the fandom for a while #which given how few things i have to get excited about these days.... eurgh #i was really excited about the timing of this one; it's right after tlovm comes back and right around the time the semester starts #and i'm sure it'll be fun to watch when it actually comes out but #not the same as the whole fandom being hyped about it #which for the penultimate episode of a show that was cancelled early? sucks #and i hate how many people seem to not care or think it's okay to watch the leaked episode just because other people are doing it #like i don't hang out in fandom tags fortunately (for many good reasons) #but going 'well. guess i have to avoid ao3 or checking out new followers' blogs' and things like that is :/ #even the little fanwork discord server i'm in that i usually feel like is a nice space has folks that just... don't seem to care #and i like that space a lot but i'm considering muting it which makes me sad #i just don't get how people could be so disrespectful to the folks creating stories they love. that's awful #idk. guess i'm glad i have other fiction to care about right now #anyways! that's me done being sad about something relatively silly! #but :/

[tardis--dreams]

"No queuing is allowed in front of the entrance nor in the streets around the venue"- trinity college's concert rules are my new villain origin story

#fuck you fuck you fuck you #wtf do you mean no queuing up allowed #as if people sitting around for 7 hours in front of a venue would be disruptive #i fucking hate my routines and plans being disrupted #wtf am i supposed to do the entire day then #enjoy dublin? certainly not while being all nervous about that concert and now not being there hours before to get accustomed to the people #this is seriously the worst #i need the goddamm control #when are we allowed to fucking queue up then #at 7?? when the doors open? you kidding me? #I'm probably gonna be lurking around there the entire day then #i hate this #concert hate posting #new tag lol #I'm very normal about concerts #i love not having any control over where i end up #i don't care at all ahahaha i love being as far in the back as possible and not seeing a single thing #also i don't believe people aren't gonna queue up somehow #idk how many and idk how popular bastille is in ireland but there's gotta be some people who wanna be there early #alright i can take a walk through the city then #haven't been there in 4 years so i should be happy about the opportunity #also it would help me to be more flexible about things so this is a great learning opportunity 🙃 #void screams

[da-proti-toku-grem]

feeling like a total asshole today 👍

#an aunt's mom passed away yesterday night #i didn't really know her that much just spoke to her a few times for the typical merry christmas & happy new year you know #so when my mom told me i felt bad for my aunt bc i knew they were really close but i don't feel SAD #but my parents seemed to be like so shocked and sad and my little brother even started crying #and i felt absolutely nothing #idek what my mom saw in my face but she went like 'don't you feel anything?' and like wtf am i supposed to feel #like. i'm sorry for my aunt and everything but i just????? #that already made me feel like an absolute asshole but now we have to go there (like 2hours away by car) #and because i am an adult now i *have* to go to the funeral home (?) today and to the funeral tomorrow #and i REALLY don't want to and thought it's making me so fucking anxious bc i haven't been there since my grandma passed away 2 years ago #i really don't want that feeling that i felt back then to come back #not right now #not when i've been starting to feel a bit better this past week #but i'm already failing at that because they started to come back the moment i was told i have to go #and i feel like a fucking asshole because my aunt's mom literally passed away and she (and her whole family) must be heartbroken right now #and all i can think about is that i'm anxious #i'm anxious to go back there. i'm anxious just thinking that i'll have to express my condolences to people that i don't even know #i'm anxious because i'll have to TALK to people and at least try to look a bit SAD but i can't just fake it #bc if i don't look sad my brain tells me that i'm an asshole that doesn't have feelings like apparently everyone around me has #but if i fake it my brain tells me that i'm an asshole bc why tf do i have to fake my fucking personality #why can't i just express my fucking feelings like normal people do and the only thing that i know how to do is fucking complain #like. i know i rant a lot here but it's literally the only place where i talk about my feelings #i NEVER talk about my feelings with anyone because idk HOW to do it #i have like a million things in my mind that i want to tell my mom or my therapy for example but when i finally convince myself to do it #i just CAN'T. the thoughts won't leave my mouth because i don't know how to phrase them properly #so nothing ever leaves my mind unless i make a post here bc apparently writing my thoughts in english (my 2nd language) #is easier than talking in spanish #and at least if i write them here they don't just stay bottled up in my mind #but i'm too tired of myself and my stupid brain that tells me that i do everything wrong :/ #i'm gonna shut up now bc i once again reached the tag limit