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ohyesididnotjustdothat · 11 months

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PLEASE tell me more about armporsche it's always been kind of on my radar but that gifset and your tags SOLD me and now I suddenly NEED more armporsche to add to the army of ships so..... pretty please?🥺💜

Ok, so i'm gonna touch on some points where arm seemed to interfere on Porsche's behalf more than you'd anticipate from a bodyguard who theoretically should have no stake in it, so i'm gonna preempt this w my basis for the pairing.

I believe Arm is the one who performed the background check on Porsche. I think this allowed Arm some insight into Porsche before anyone else--not just into Porsche's baggage, but Porsche's personality. The sweet, kind, hardworking older brother who is constantly struggling to provide for his baby bro in a cruel world that left him adrift after the tragic passing of his parents, prey to the sharks circling in the water. A man forced to be a father, a mother, a brother, a fighter, a lover--all in equal measure until he's bursting at the seams w all the facets of himself he's forced to internalize and exaggerate just to survive.

w that in mind, this will likely get long and rambly and i'm gonna take a lot of liberties, but this is just how i choose to read into the text to rationalize this pairing lol

so first off, when tankhun is seeking retribution for his koi. the stakes aren't nearly the same, but arm's expression of suppressed panic reminds me of kinn w the minor family conflict (where the gears are working in overdrive to find an out), and in the end, it's arm's quick thinking that saves porsche (albeit only temporarily)--just like kinn

also, when porsche takes tankhun out and kinn calls him to follow, everyone thinks porsche is in trouble, but note what pol (left) tells him, and what arm says

pol is understandably concerned for porsche, but doesn't rlly consider himself in a position to do anything about it, bc he's not. arm isn't rlly either, yet he explicitly gives porsche an avenue to confide in someone, despite their relationship still being relatively new and porsche already having pete (ironically, when porsche does eventually offload onto someone, it ends up being kinn on the pier)

then we have arm physically protecting porsche from tankhun's wrath at the expense of his safety

so u may have noticed i like comparing arm and kinn. i like to place them side by side bc i feel it provides a nice parallel, tho u may notice the drastic contrast in stakes; this dichotomy actually enhances the parallels for me, bc i feel it reflects the distinction between kinn's feelings, which have the capacity to develop into something intense and passionate (bc of porsche's reciprocation) and arm's, whose feelings are kind of doomed to just fade into the background bc they're unrequited

these i'm including to note that, at some point off-screen, porsche and arm obviously are bonding, bc their relationship has quickly gone from just working together to spending time w each other outside their duties and comfortable enough to be more tactile (in other words, closer to actual friends outside of work)

I'm gonna go ahead and link ur reblog of @kinnbig's gif set to save myself time, but the concern and care arm takes towards porsche in these scenes drives me insane, so there's that (the gif set that set me down this rabbit hole lol)

HEY!! what's this have to do w arm?? he had nothing to do w this ep--he barely even showed up!!! well this is another one of those off-screen extrapolations i'm prone to. particularly kinn and porsche's date. how can kinn and porsche move around together w no one in the compound knowing? likely they can't. and if anyone's gonna know kinn's whereabouts, who would that be? kinn may not have told him the specifics, but i assume arm was keeping an eye on them via gps, and arm still kept it under wraps, despite likely knowing what had already developed between the two (we know he kept this a secret bc pete and pol know nothing of what arm's talking about when he mentions helping porsche w tawan). i'd argue that i wouldn't be surprised if arm actually caught them on the cctv before (they weren't subtle) and just opted to keep it to himself for their sakes

speaking of supporting porsche, even w the excitement of their relationship becoming public, arm is still concerned about what will happen to porsche (tbf to pol, i think it's just bc he doesn't think in that context, not bc he wasn't worried lol)

so imma start winding down, bc i've spent enough time showcasing how unhinged i am about this concept, but i'd be remiss if i didn't call to attention how INSANE the insinuation here is. arm is a professional. he is tactful. he is ready to throw it all away bc porsche is a petty bf LOL. like i am reeling at the implication that arm was gonna bust in on his boss flirting it up w some twink and do. what?? WHAT WERE U GONNA HAVE ARM DO, PORSCHE, THAT'S HIS BOSS AND UNLIKE U, HE'S NOT FUCKING HIM!! HE CAN'T SHAKE THAT ASS AND GET OFF THE HOOK OMFG ASLFKJ

Anyway, it's difficult to do in a BL, bc there's rarely any focus outside of the pairings, particularly after they become established, but that's some insight into how i've constructed an unrequited love narrative between ArmPorsche. I'm still first and foremost a KinnPorsche girly, but i love turning over the possibilities of the secondary relationships in my head like a rotisserie chicken, so if you've stayed this long, i hoped you enjoyed my ramblings X'DDD

#kinnporsche #crystallinemoonlight #asks #dick moves with d #NO PROOFREAD WE DIE LIKE ARM'S PROFESSIONALISM #u probs notice it gets progressively more incoherent bc i started going red thread and losing track of my train of thought ASLFKJ

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seelestia · 2 months

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YEEE NPNP!! college was nervewracking ngl (still is), at least when i started last year august iirc? but yeah! do you know what major you want? alas i cannot chill as much as i used to smh

heheh fr tho >:3 i think the fontaine arc was really well written and went into more depth (get it? depth? waters? ok i'll stop now) and because of how much lore we were given since it seems to be more complex ngl. as for myself, i'm sticking albedo and lyney under the microscope so i can understand them both better

especially albedo. i'd very much like to pick his brain the same way i wanna pick my boyfriend's- coughs

HEJSJD THE WAY I STARTED SMILING AFTER READING THE HCS,,needed that ngl cuz i've been stressed a lot. but i think bedo would be the kind of person who'd do that and create an artificial flower and then name it after me hehehe

but hey, who's to say wanderer wouldn't leave you a flower someplace where you can find it? just a small and sweet gesture and will very most likely deny it (and fails) when you tease him for it mwehehhe i can be devious too ya know or maybe even ayato leaves you a little present like a bracelet or hair accessory after a long day of work

AND NOO ITS OK I LOVE LISTENING TO UR RAMBLES TOO /gen /pos

actually yea i do have some new vibedo trivia! we've officially become engaged and he was the one who proposed first <3 that and he has a tendency to call me "sweet violet" since its an actual flower as well hehe. and tysm!! i'm honestly just doing my best to stay happy since my irl bedo is like very complementary to my personality if that makes sense? like he tends to wear darker clothing, i tend to wear a lot of pastels kinda thing. and so far, we're doing rlly good! sure there are some challenges we're dealing with now but im doing my best to stay positive ^^

also me being 20 ew. somehow i'm still being referred as old sheesh

ok im done rambling now im passing the mic to u hehe /lh

ah, truly. the price of education = freedom to chill !!! 😔 but alas, life is a ongoing journey with hurdles (and i happen to not be an athlete /j). currently, i have my eyes on a social science major atm! so i can hopefully pursue psychology :3 but my second choice is english bcs i cannot stray from the path of linguistics and literature no matter how much i tried /pos. ALSOSOSO if you don't mind, can you tell me more abt what you do in your course? i did my research on google but i think it cannot compare to someone with the actual experience™ ++ i'm just a curious cat and want to enable your rambles hehe <3 /lh

THE PUN, HELP. i agree, the fontaine quest deffo made some waves when it ended. OH I SEE!!! at first glance, i thought i could find a similarity between albedo and lyney (finding vi's type: a reality show jkjk we all already know it's albedo /hj) but the longer i looked, the more i questioned myself 😭 i do think that both of them are deeper than what people credit them for tho! albedo with his knowledge of khemia.... and lyney with his burdens as the next 'father'..... ooOOooO. some emphasis for now on lyney bcs of the 4.6 trailer that just dropped! DID YOU SEE IT YET VI 👁️ (but dw, i understand if you had no time / busy with college!) { the comment abt picking your bf's brain LMAO would he let you?? oh, truly, love is blind 🤭 /lh }

always happy to provide you with hcs!!! my brain buzzes with possibilities all the time && one of the things i love most abt selfships is analyzing how different personalities come together to form habits / idiosyncrasies / love languages of their own. like how albedo conjures up an artificial flower bcs he is simply reminded of his sweet violet — that is special and unique to you in a way. it's vv beautiful, i think!!

AND HSHDHWHSH. THE HCS??? vi, i cannot convey how much i appreciate you. i haven't indulged in my selfships for some time since i didn't have time to be active - so this made me SOSOSO happy aaaaaa!!! but wanderer definitely has left some flowers for me before bcs who else? i suggested the possibility of another suitor and he knocked me on the head (softly) YOWCHHH but hey, at least he admitted it was him! :3c and 'yato.... aghhhhh this man. he leaves a hairpin out in the open but tells me “not to touch it until he gets home” just so he can put it on me himself. he derives joy from seeing me hold back from snatching that thing up myself. meanie /j

AWWW THAT'S SO CUTE!! you two are the apt presentation of “opposites attract”. and i'm glad! i only have average experience with relationships but i think everyone agrees that a relationship isn't sunshine and rainbows all the time. that's as natural as our having good days and bad days in a week. i think what matters is how you both deal with them - and i believe in you & your bf! you're a good egg and ik your bf is too, so do what you both know is best <3 (forgive me if i sound like a grandma here /j BUT hooray to vi and irl albedo! my new fav couple yesyesyes)

#not sure why people think 20 is old... that's like the prime of your life!!#who cares abt them!!! live your life like you're forever young i say 🫂🫂#ask box! 📬#visitor: dearest vi! 🍡#selfships! 🧸#<- a new tag bcs selfships deserve a tag of its own <33

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shoechoe · 3 months

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ok this is real long and rambly im v sorry !! i jus wanted to talk abt music as well heh,, i loved reading ur music commentary under the tag game !! (hehe. i tag u rlly often cuz. i hav this secret inner mechanism where if a mutual tags me in anything *once* ill tag that mutual in literally everything if i remember/if prompted. tis how i roll) tho fr ur segment abt 20 min prog rock songs was so damn accurate. it rlly reminded me of pink floyd's "dogs", king crimson's "lizard" (not the album itself but moreso the sort of. i guess mashup shit they do. another prime example of this is moonchild (including the dream and the illusion), or the devil's triangle. which is honestly more nervewracking rather than boring i guess. JDEVGAVEAHDHGEAVHGAEVDGEVDG. hell ost i guess. w lizard ive listened to it so many times and while it does hav a multitude of lyrics DAMN those 23 minutes are painstakingly longgg ! i guess im a lil biased cuz u know ive played it too often. tho it does hav some v beautiful parts... ! i think a prime example of what u hav mentioned abt prog rock was w king crimson's one red nightmare. it has a cool part and then its jus. Instrumentals after and it gets kind of boring. at least the drums r p damn good!! or u know to some of comus's songs (which isnt prog rock but its prog folk. same damn thing where the songs are INSANELY long and can sometimes b rlly boring in certain portions), some prime examples being their song the herald (only 12min long. but mannn sometimes w prog rock or prog folk they make 10+ min songs feel like HOURS. but its also v mesmerizing!! or drip drip which. holy hell is an AMAZING song but theres this one part thats insanely fucking boringgg YAWN. its a nice break before the very chilling lyrics nearing the end but. come on now!) but yeah. i jus wanted to ramble bc i rlly need to get to listening to kc's entire discography as well. idk what u've listened to jus yet but some song recs if ur inchrested or havent listened to them already... could also apply 2 some of ur followers if they read this long ass ramble. this ask is a 20+ min prog rock song at this point: formentera lady, islands, the letters, ladies of the road, pictures of a city, moonchild, cirkus runthrough / lady of the dancing water (alt take) (why this one? it jus sounds better imo. lady of the dancing water is very very beautiful), thela hun ginjeet (this one is very fun and catchy), the sheltering sky, frame by frame, matte kudasai (VERY soothing), ummm.. dr diamond (live. i wish there was a more high quality ver somewhere), cadence and cascade, book of saturday, probably some more i forgot abt !!!!!! top 5 songs on their spotify also slap (obvs everyone and their mom already knows those songs id imagine! tho for new listeners those r bangers. esp starless.). if u wanna get REAL scared u should listen to da devil's triangle. (exaggerating but its quite diff from what *ive* heard. like hollyyy hell they set the mood down so so so so so well)

I appreciate the extra depth in the commentary- it is thoughtful. (I also appreciate the tag games.)

I agree that progressive rock is a very alluring and simultaneously often frustrating genre as someone who tends to be a fan of it. I consider it the musical equivalent of a sit-down meal; it requires a lot of patience and is best for when you have the time to just appreciate and drift off to it.

Progressive rock is usually lengthy, often slow, very experimental, and tends to utilize a lot of improvisation; as a result, you end up with a lot of songs with pieces that work extremely well, but you do often have to sit through a lot of parts that you just don't care for. Having music be a test of patience is understandably just not for everybody.

I find that my favorite progressive rock songs transform into feeling more like journeys rather than typical musical experiences. I consider Echoes by Pink Floyd to be my favorite prog rock song (and one of my favorite songs in general) for this reason. I end up enjoying the long middle portion entirely made of odd, unnerving, very non-"musical" sounds, because the entire song feels like you are trekking through something strange and unknown.

The slow transition with the buildup of the main tune's return at the very end of the middle portion feels almost like a phoenix rising from the ashes, or the reward at the end of a long journey- I hope that doesn't sound cheesy, lol. I enjoy sometimes playing Echoes at nighttime while I'm lying in bed, and I believe that is the absolute best time to play it. It ends up being a very moving experience for me and it really highlights the great potentials of progressive rock.

Thank you for the recommendations- I'm planning to listen to everything, anyway, but I'm sure any of my followers looking for music recs will appreciate it. King Crimson gets a lot of praise from music enthusiasts, but it doesn't seem as well-known among the mainstream as other progressive rock like Pink Floyd, for example.

#asks #mutuals (epic)#music #king crimson #pink floyd #shoe talks a lot #long post

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remmupom · 1 year

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Ci who's ur fav TWST chara? (Can be more than 1)

WWEWEWEWEWEEW *babbles in excited toddler*

I love pomefiore Trio! I used to have a blog dedicated to twst Art, little rambles n writings, and some AUs of mine. (Remturtle) But I deleted it after my spark for it died, mainly due to toxic fans n harassment. I mostly kept quiet about it, but it was pretty icky at some points. I may do small bits of twst art for Friends n things in the future but unfortunately I’m too scared to be fully like,, public about my interest in it now.

Anyway, a big part of my love for the silly little Trio is that i am very trans and a lot of Vil & Rook’s ideologies really resonate with me. I also love Epel a huge amount too, he kind of reminds me of when I first realised my trans’ness and wanted to avoid being perceived as feminine or girly or ‘flowery’ in anyway and would often come off a little bit toxic (and honestly kind of misogynistic) with my avoidance of that stuff.

I’ve calmed down now, and re-evaluated a lot of stances. It was hard to put into words before, but with Vil’s views on makeup, fashion and self-care/self-respect, you could probably understand where I am now??? Basically live and let live, i don’t really blame anyone for doing their thing unless they’re actively harming others or themselves. If I don’t agree with someone’s actions on here I’ll usually just block them and move on. (And that happens a lot in the twst fandom 😬)

So yeah! Pomefiore Trio would be faves! Vil especially, mans can single-handedly cure my dysphoria with a smile! (Though as a Side Note, I personally dislike transfem HCs for pomefiore Trio, esp Vil and Epel. I think Aster explains it really well in a post from ages ago but I couldn’t find it to give you the link)

God this response went all over the place but that’s adhd for ya

#remmurambles #ask #pomefiore #also just deactivated because I felt like hardly anyone was interested in *me* and more so my art #with the exception of a few Friends n some nice followers

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59writes · 3 years

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STRAY KIDS - THEIR S/O IS ADHD/AUTISTIC

two posts in one night???? I spoil you all /j

hello fellow autists <3

it has truly occurred to me how much I want a relationship where my partner loves seeing me happy stim that’s it lol. if you like seeing ppl happy flap constantly then date me hehe

this is so self indulgent I’m sobbing irl

also this most definitely wasn’t written because I am doing a little bit of skz hyperfixating absolutely not. (/s)

(it’s been a while because I’ve been hfxing on svt and I just. miss the boys v much skz will always have a very soft spot in my heart)

okokokok time for the vibes!!!

(Note: this used to be x “neurodivergent” reader. I was using neurodivergent to just mean autistic/adhd, when it really encompasses way more disorders than that. I’m sorry for any misunderstandings or distress it may have caused. Happy reading!)

BANG CHAN

• (god he’s so goofy I love him)

• okok so

• this man was just. so kind when u told him and he was like “yo that’s cool!!!”

• it was a little awkward cuz he had no idea exactly what was going on but he learned quickly!!!

• he just. is a very fast learner and observant fella and just. quickly understands

• he is your human weighted blanket

• warm n heavy when ur sad (:

• he gets excited when he sees you happy stim and definitely does it back!!! He does not know why he does it back but it is instinct to him now!!!

• he keeps all sorts of dangles and attachments on his keychain in case you need to fidget in public

• he definitely plays with them too shhhhh

• he orders food up to you if he knows you’re struggling to eat and will do chores for you if you’re overwhelmed ???? 10/10 man

• he’s such a go with the flow kinda guy I think he wouldn’t be fazed by any sudden mood swings or oversensitivity

• you push him away because human contact is too much rn? no worries. you zone out mid-sentence? all good, he’ll bring you back gently. you start rambling about a special interest?? he will listen!!! he does not care if he’s busy!!!!

• you aren’t a burden to him at all and it really is just. comforting to know ㅠㅠ hhhhhh

MINHO

• I have to start this by saying he brushes his cats for you before you visit so they’re very soft and have no potential for any bad textures

• is totally fine with you coming over to his house all the time because he knows animals make you happy

• he’s definitely fine with visits where you both just sit in silence or one of you talks the whole time while the other just listens

• definitely the type to keep stuffed animals or comforting clothing saved in his house for if you’re stressed or need to stay over

• he’s okay with not wanting physical contact like hugs. he’s just not that kinda guy so it works out lol!!

• because a lot of his jokes are sarcastic or teasing he’s started doing jazz hands whenever he’s making a joke so you can tell if he’s serous or not

• plus it’s really funny seeing him make an annoyed joke and then doing the jazz hands after while he’s all grumpy

• he notices the little things and changes them

• very willing to make small changes in his life to help u (:

• sends u texts with pictures of his cats where he’s reminding you to take a break or he’s gonna “let Dori eat your socks” or something like that

• rents movies you hyperfixate on and stays up late talking about them with you

• he later buys the movies lol

CHANGBIN

• ngl this man screams neurodivergency to me

• idk he’s my bias so I kinda look at him a lot and he just. stims a lot and has those random bursts of energy??? he has trouble with telling how loud he is??? sometimes reacts “inappropriately” to a situation??? And he zones out a lot??? idk I could explain this better but like. he and I have a lot in common and I’m very autistic so

• the lip biting thing he does all the time could totally be a stim (especially thinking about how he does it a lot in interviews or when he’s put on the spot, yk??), he has a very consistent style and doesn’t change up his hair like. ever. likes wearing hats and big clothes and kinda hides in them

• idk man I have been thinking!!! this isn’t like a “headcanon” or whatever I legitimately can see him being neurodivergent (idk I know Korea sucks about that kind of shit so ig we’ll never know??? but h)

• anyways on that note

• you guys trade clothes all the time because they r just. good comfy!!!! good associations!!!! plus you both dress for comfort so all of your clothes are safe clothes

• y’all will just hang out on the floor on your phones and just enjoy being together (:

• when one of you stims it triggers the other person’s stims and soon you guys r just having a little stimfest

• you both can tell when each other needs a break or a distraction if things are getting too much

• like you keep an eye on him in the studio and if he gets frustrated with a song you challenge him to a Mario Kart battle on your phones or start talking about something you saw out shopping and how cool it was

• and he does the same- if you’re stressed he’ll lay down next to you and start talking about the song he’s working on and what everything means and little details and all of that. or asks if you want to go out and get food

• y’all got matching stim toys, little stuffed animal keychains that crinkle a little when you squeeze them. changbin says it’s embarrassing but you know he likes it.

• you can talk without actually speaking like. you just Understand if you look at each other

• you just both know each other well and can read each other well and it’s just. very balanced and peaceful and calming ((((:

HYUNJIN

• first of all I’ve been watching this gif on loop hdbbdhvshdbjfjfjdhbdjfkfknbsvahg. help. men. specifically this man.

• lets you fidget with his hands and rings

• like you can just grab his hands when he’s talking with someone and he won’t even flinch just let you do whatever while he continues his convo

• definitely also lets you style his hair if that’s your thing too

• braid his hair and then let it down and then braid it up and then let it down etc etc (((:

• loves trying to find you new stim toys it’s like a challenge

• he wears those fidget rings all the time like the ones that spin????? just in case you need something

• after you tell him you got overstimulated during one of the concerts he works on getting the crew to be a bit kinder with the flashing lights and gets you to be allowed backstage so you can watch privately away from crowds (:

• you’re his favorite person ngl he loves doing nothing with you

• he is whipped he is at your beck and call.

• you’re so peaceful and kind and inquisitive and knowledgeable and always have something new to offer him

• never a dull moment!!!

• he likes watching you interact with you special interests because your eyes get so bright and you get so excited, even when it’s overwhelming and you’re struggling

• when it’s overwhelming and you’re struggling he knows how to safely distract you too

• he’s a comfort human don’t even @ me

• even tho he’s a bit wild he remembers what’s important and is genuinely a good person

• he likes how you notice things he doesn’t, especially things about himself

• like you point out a new freckle that wasn’t there a few weeks ago or how he cuts grapes in half instead of just eating them whole just basic stuff like that

• little things that make him see the world in a different way )))):

JISUNG

• hee hoo

• this man has absolute monkey brain

• you will never be understimulated or bored with this dude

• he’s very receptive to the world around him for better or for worse, so he catches on quickly to if you’re struggling and makes an effort to avoid stressors from there on out

• when you’re stressed in public he just talks about nonsense that you don’t have to reply to if you don’t want to, just to keep you present

• and if you’re not in a talking mood he’s synced up your headphones with his so when you play your music he can listen too if he wants

• once he left to grab something and the song changed and this man comes sprinting back into the room with whatever he grabbed and is like “holy shit this is a banger what’s it called”

• he kinda gets distracted himself sometimes and can be a bit too exuberant or make annoying noises but he corrects his behavior immediately

• like I said he’s very aware of things

• it’s hard sometimes, cuz he definitely lives for those adrenaline rushes

• but he wants you with him the whole way and wants you to feel safe and happy

• steals borrows your stim toys on complete accident

• it’s all good you just “borrow” them back later lol

• does not like big social events so that’s a plus

• he’s clingy asf so at any event he won’t just ditch you to talk to his friends Nah you’re joined at the hip he will Not let you go unless he’s sure you’re 100000% safe and even then he’ll check in like “u sure you don’t want to hang out with me hmmm”

• bastard man I love him.

FELIX

• he loves getting excited about things with you!!!

• always keeping track of your special interests and remembers things about them!!!!

• he’ll be like “yeah so I remember the time you said something about (x) and I’ve been thinking about it” and you’re like “holy shit you remembered” (pls this shit is true love.)

• sees things that reminds him of you and comes home and tells you about them

• also lets you play with his fingers and braid his hair

• leaves you notes or sends you texts to remind you of things or just make sure you know his schedule !!!

• he is an excellent listener and you two can just chat for hours comfortably and be open with each other and there’s no shyness or anxiety

• will never judge you for an interest end of story!!!

• he knows remembering to eat is hard so he also sends texts reminding you to eat something!!! he always has snacks somewhere

• he’s so goofy and lighthearted uGh I love him sm I just want to hug this guy ))))):

SEUNGMIN

• this man definitely has a weekly planner set up on Google drive or something where you can both see recent edits or whatever that you write your schedules on

• he also writes notes about his schedule, usually something about how he hates dance practice ):<

• it’s very funny he is a funny little dude

• another one who is totally fine with just vibing in the same room without talking

• he has a rlly soothing voice so if you’re stressed he just talks about random stuff and it helps ))))):

• is quick to tell others off if they don’t listen to you when you ask them to stop something or if they’re stressing you out

• normalizes some of the shit you do so you don’t feel bad

• like “yeah we can definitely order to-go. no they won’t question it we just have to look busy lol” or “dude everyone wears their headphones in public it’s not weird” or “honestly who doesn’t like the sound of rocks clicking together?” etc etc

• I definitely think he tries to steer away from the topic in public as much as possible so you don’t feel like. weird yk??

• he’s great with coming up with excuses for why you can’t do something or why you need to leave early

• not that he wants to hide your neurodivergency, just that it’s hard

• like apparently “I’m too overstimulated” isn’t a fucking valid excuse smh

• plus like. he doesn’t want anyone demeaning you because of whatever

• will fight. no questions asked. passive aggressive comments are his forte.

• gives the best hugs. not too much pressure, not too much touching, yk???

• uGh he’s just always willing to listen and learn and sit through multi-hour long philosophical talks even with all the zoning out and backtracking and jumping around

• I need me a man like this tbh

JEONGIN

• he’s used to being nagged about being the youngest or most childish so he genuinely doesn’t judge anything you’re into, even if it’s “out of your age range”

• like he doesn’t see why it’s that big of a deal that you enjoy something??? like everyone needs to calm down and let you live???

• when you infodump he absorbs everything with big eyes

• ugh he’s silly and teasing and just generally a comfort to be around

• can read body language well and so he can let you know how people are acting plus he can tell if you’re stressed

• very much a pro at finding comfortable ways to have physical contact with you

• sometimes you’ll both just talk for ages about your lives or stresses or whatever while you lay on the floor and eat ramen or candy

• just vibing!!!

• even though he’s your partner he’s very much your closest friend and confidante and you two would just. do anything for each other and are always willing to help

• You are a unit!!! he doesn’t plan anything without checking with you first and you do the same with him!!!

• overuses tone indicators when he texts because he doesn’t want to mess up!!!

• so many stuffed animals. so many so many so many

• and soft blankets!!!!!!

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choco-exe · 3 years

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the one where tsukishima and sakusa go too far with teasing their crush

anonymous asks: Hiiiiii I LOVE ur writing, and I was wondering if I could request the haikyuu boys (whoever u think fits best) who constantly tease (borderline insult) their crush, who one day just breaks down from their harsh words and say to them something along the lines of “why do you hate me?”, and how the the haikyuu boys react to that. If possible, end with something fluffy 🥺? (Like a confession) TYSMMM ❤️❤️

a/n: hello! aww im glad you do :D wait i just realized you said to have the boys react to their crush saying why do you hate me- fuuuuu- ahem please forgive me for not reading the ask correctly ;w; i hope you still enjoy, nevertheless! and why did i write these long-

tw: mentions of self hate, kind of toxic behavior from sakusa

𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚊 . . . 🖉

☾ he’s gonna be meaner the more he likes you ☾ like if he’s only realized he developed a crush on you, he’d treat you the same, but if it’s been weeks and you haven’t picked up the hint, he’s gonna be treating you like trash ☾ you find him staring down at you with a dead eye stare ☾ “what’s up, kei?” “you’re so short you look like a toddler” “..i’m the average height for a high schooler though-” ☾ his comments about your height never got to you, but then he started to target other regions of yourself ☾ like he’d give a rude remark about a low score you got on the quiz, or how you always look dead inside well he isn’t wrong ☾ whenever he said something negative about you, you just shot back a counter and brushed it off ☾ after a month of this going on, though, his words started to sting a bit ☾ “hey kei-” “can’t you stay quiet for one second? it’s like you blab out words every chance you get” ☾ imagine your surprise, since it was unusual of him to comment about you talking ☾ and one of your biggest insecurities is being annoying to others; you knew you tend to ramble about things, and a nagging voice in the back of your mind was always telling you about how people around you would get fed up with it ☾ did tsukki mean to say it like that? of course not; he was meaning to have a bit of humor in his statement ☾ he just said it in such an annoyed tone and way that it made it seem like he was bothered by you talking ☾ “..sorry, kei. my mind wandered for a bit..” ☾ you figured that he just had a bad day, and you were over it after a full night of sleep i could really use that ☾ the voice inside your head grew louder, however, and tsukishima’s comments didn’t help at all ☾ “stop bothering me about the homework; cant you see i’m busy? ugh, fine, take my notes if you’re that stupid-” ☾ “if you want attention, listen to this playlist. it should satisfy your longing for voices; i need to study for a test now” ☾ it got to the point where your mind was yelling at you about being a nuisance, and the final piece you needed to break just so happened to be during a practice match..

“You did great, blocking them all, Tsukki!” You exclaimed, flashing him a grin as you pass him his water bottle and towel. In all honesty, you were forcing your smile so hard, it began to hurt your jaw. “I could’ve blocked better if someone wasn’t screaming the whole time,” the middle blocker said, wiping sweat off his forehead. You had been passing out water bottles to the other players, but you stopped dead in your tracks when his words hit your ears. “Y/N-chan..?” Shimizu asked worriedly, eyeing your expression that Tsukishima couldn’t see. The said blonde took off his goggled to switch them out with his regular glasses. “It was just a practice match; getting hyped up wasn’t exactly the brightest idea your mind conjured up.” Putting his glasses on after wiping the lenses, he looked down at you to see your tear ducts brimming with your sadness. “..huh..?” You touched your face as a tear slid down your cheek. The other club members looked at you in concern. “Ah- don’t worry, everyone..” You wave your hands frantically as Daichi and Sugawara stare disapprovingly at Tsukishima. “It’s nothing to worry about. I’m just gonna.. step outside for a bit.” You forced another smile out onto your face, then quickly scampered out of the gym. The silence was so thick, you could slice it with a sword. Four-Eyes clearly didn’t expect you to be that emotional over his statement, as his face was filled with a small mixture of concern and confusion. He ran after you, shoving his things in his hands to Yamaguchi and leaving the rest of the team shocked into standing still. You had fled to a nearby bench, where you collapsed onto and shoved your face into your hands, desperately trying to stop your tears from shedding. How stupid, you thought. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Look what you did; you made the team worry about you, and they’re all going to resent you the moment they find out the reason behind your crying. “Y/N.” Jolted out of your thoughts, you looked up to find Tsukishima staring down at you with an unreadable expression. Almost immediately, your face became flooded with streams of tears. You quickly looked down at your lap, fidgeting with your hands. “I-I’m sorry for talking so much, Tsukki, I’ll try to keep my thoughts to myself-” “Shut up, Y/N.” He interrupted. You sighed and calmed your breathing. “This is what I’m talking about, Tsukishima.” You muttered, putting your face in your hands once again. “I’m just a pest to everyone; anyone I encounter will automatically hate me-” “Stop insulting yourself, dammit.” The middle blocker clenched his fists in anger. “You aren’t a nuisance, and you most definitely aren’t one to be hated on- I know I can be a bit of an asshole sometimes, but did it really affect you that much-” You slowly took your face out of your hands to see the blonde crouching, staring up at you. “'Did it really affect you that much?’ What do you think?! God, it really seems like you don’t consider my feelings at all, Tsukishima! I’ve been suspecting that you hate me, but why-?!” Said boy quickly clasped your hands in his, surprising you greatly. His usual expressionless face was morphed into one in a slight panic. “It’s because I like you, idiot!” Taking a moment to process his words, your whole face flushed a scarlet-red. “What?” The tips of Tsukishima’s ears were dusted with a soft coral-pink hue. “You heard me. I won’t repeat myself.” He averted his eyes from yours, squeezing your hands in nervousness. “I-” You were internally melting inside; who would’ve thought the salty beanpole would like someone like you? “But you would always push me to the side! Telling me you were busy and such!” Tsukishima stared at you like you were the biggest dumbass in the world. “I gave you my notes because I knew you didn’t have the energy to take them in class, and the playlist was a collection of songs I thought would suit you. Are you that dense?” “Who are you calling dense?!” You replied hastily. “And for your information, I haven’t given you my answer yet! Let go of my hands, and I’ll tell you, okay?” The middle blocker leaned in close to your face with his dead eye gaze. “It’s an agreement or disagreement, Y/N. What is your response?” You leaned back into the bench, but Tsukishima followed with your movements. “Um- I-” Your words crossed with each other, the lack of personal space making your head spin. “Yes?” Satisfied, the lamppost removed his hands from yours and flicked your forehead. “Simple as that, shortcake. If you want to freeze to death outside, that’s fine by me.” He began to walk back to the gym. “Wha- I’m not short!” You exclaimed, running after the four-eyes. “Also, I’m not the one who’s been sweating profusely for the past hour, so speak for yourself!” Tsukishima gently smiled as he heard you rapidly firing back at his comment. Looks like she’s back to her usual self. 𝚜𝚊𝚔𝚞𝚜𝚊 . . . 🖉

✤ obviously he’s gonna be commenting about your hygiene 24/7 ✤ the fact that he’s developed a crush on you doesn’t help, either; it means that you should be extra clean if he were to date you ✤ and of course he has to remind you almost every hour of the day; whether it be by text or in person ✤ now, you didn’t mind him checking up on you every couple of days, but every hour?? ✤ you’re convinced that sakusa has had some sort of trauma in the past, fighting with germs ever since he was a child okay not really.. unless? ✤ he doesn’t even do this to the other people he’s acquainted with; you’ve asked koromi about it, and he says sakusa just sprays him with holy water a disinfecting solution ✤ now you’re confused as to why you’re getting special treatment from him, when you two aren’t as close as him and his cousin ✤ so you personally went to his class to ask him about it ✤ “hey kiyoomi, why do you remind me to be clean every hour that you’re awake?” “because you shouldn’t have a single germ on you.” “but it’s literally the same message every time; at least make it seem more interesting” “cleaning yourself should be simple, not complicated” ✤ you got fed up with it as another week went by, which is understandable, since this clean freak was spamming your phone hour after hour without missing a single text ✤ the fact that sakusa was willing to put effort into reminding you about your hygiene was kind of sweet, but the same message every. single. damn. time. was annoying you like hell ✤ and when you tell him to stop and that you already know how to get rid of germs, he gave you a disgusted look ✤ this had to be one of the most nasty expressions he had ever made, because you stood paralyzed to the floor ✤ “i have been reminding you for your own good, y/n. why don’t you just appreciate what i do for you, instead of complain about it?” ✤ your mouth stayed shut, your tongue feeling as though it was glued to the top of your mouth ✤ “don’t mention anything like this again” ✤ you meekly nodded, and he strolled out the classroom ✤ the moment he was gone, you collapsed onto the floor out of fear, shivering as you replayed the scene again and again in your head ✤ the main question that circled your head was: why was he acting so controlling? ✤ the night after, you texted sakusa, and asked him to meet up with you at your favorite spot ✤ surprisingly, he complied. and you were waiting for awhile by the time he got there..

“Sakusa, hi!” You greeted your friend with a small but warm smile. The ace frowned; it was unlike you to call him by his last name. In fact, it had been months since you’ve said his name with such coldness in your voice. “..why did you call me out here?” He questioned in a low tone. Your eyes grew dark as you thought about what to say to him. “I wanted to talk to you about what happened yesterday. I feel as though we need to.” Sakusa’s own eyes narrowed as you spoke each word. “Are you still going to complain about my reminders to you?” Shaking your head, you stared at your feet while hugging your arms to your chest. “Of course not, I heard what you told me to do. I just.. wanted to know why you got so angry, is all.” The jet-black haired boy stared down at you, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried to remember what specifically happened the day before. “I don’t know what you’re remembering, Y/N, but I wasn’t angry in the slightest. Are you sure you aren’t thinking of another memory of yours?” Your head snaps up when he said that he wasn’t angry. “Yes, I’m very sure.” You firmly say. “Maybe you don’t think you seemed angry, but you were downright furious. It was.. kind of terrifying.” “Are you saying I was out of control yesterday?” “No, just..” You subconsciously hugged your arms tighter to your body, trying to make yourself as small as possible. “..intimidating.” Sakusa tilted his head, his eyes narrowing. You found him intimidating? Just from a little conversation that happened because of you’re questioning ways? “I’m tired, and I’m sure you are, too,” you continued, not catching on that your friend was becoming annoyed with your talking. “Which is why I want to end this quickly. Sakusa, I have a life, too. As much as I appreciate what you do for me, I can take care of myself without your help-” “You’re repeating the same words you stated yesterday, just in different phrasing.” The germaphobe harshly cut in. “I said this once, but I will say it again, for your sake. I am doing this for your own good-” “-and I know what’s good for me and what isn’t, Sakusa!” You exclaimed, your arms no longer crossed. “I can make my own decisions! I’m not some dumb little kid you have to look after-” “Y/N-” “-so just drop this already! It doesn’t help anyone; it doesn’t help me, it doesn’t help you-” “Y/N.” Sakusa lost all patience. He towered over you, his hands clenched tightly into fists. You slightly shrink at his actions, your arms up in defense. The ace didn’t seem to notice your fear as he took a step forward. “You are crawling with so many germs, I can practically see them all over you. You are in no condition to be deciding on your hygiene, when you can’t even rid of the many dirt particles covering your skin.” He took another step forward, and you step back, unsure of what to do. Sakusa broke out of his anger when he heard a slight sob leave your lips. “Why do you hate me so much, Sakusa?!” You asked, pain laced into your voice. “I’m perfectly capable of not being dirty, can’t you see?! Why can’t you just leave me alone-” You used your sleeves to start wiping the tears away, although they doubled to replace the ones you removed. The ace hesitantly enveloped you in a hug, making you break down even more. “Sakusa- no- you’re gonna get germs on you-” You stammered, resisting the temptation to bury your face into his chest. “..I made you cry. I need to pay the consequences.” Said boy murmured, rubbing shapes onto your back. You continued to cry for a good 5 minutes, before slowly pushing him away. “..thank you.” You sniffled. “I know consequences has nothing to do with that. Why did you-?” “I like you, Y/N.” He cut you off, making your eyes widen. “The reason why I’d been constantly reminding you to wash up is because I thought I should date someone who was clean to the touch. That was wrong of me, so very wrong. I apologize, and it’s fine if you reject-” You shut him up with a kiss to his mask. “Are you traumatized yet?” You asked, trying to crack a smile. “That’s my revenge from yesterday.” Sakusa blinked multiple times before realizing what you did. “..I guess I deserved that. So is that a yes..?” You broke out into a beautiful, radiant smile this time, the moonlight making you glow even more than you already were. “Of course, Kiyoomi!”

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femgirlfriend-moved · 2 years

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dont rb rant incoming

anyone just sick of casual misogyny in general like just seeing it around in media or irl like im just so tired and sick....can we just dont do it anymore or talk about it or whatever can we get past that already i feel like if i hear more shit like that im actually about to lose my mind...i feel like im in constant competition with men to prove myself and im so tired i dont want to do it anymore but sometimes i feel like im constantly reminded of it and there’s this constant pressure on me and sometimes it just feels so heavy and it makes me so tired. everytime i see men praised in media or online or irl constantly with 0 equivalent for women it makes me feel kind of like a failure for not being more like a man if that makes sense? that’s a terrible thought to have but i cant help it. you’d think things are better now but sometimes even scrolling on tumblr and seeing everyone talk about male characters and male celebrities so much in a way they never do for women makes me feel like this. even worse in a way because this app appears to be used by a lot of gay women, and seeing them talk about women only in a performative way and then always blogging about some men make me feel even more unwanted in my own community. does that make sense lol? i dont want to offend anybody im just kinda rambling i guess. it just makes me feel so conflicted because i dont want to be a man at all but sometimes i feel like as a girl and a lesbian on top of that people see me as a joke and a burden in a way. and i feel like i fight with that every single day and sometimes it;s so much. i feel like i even defend women on a level that other women dont even want. so many times irl ive found myself in awkward situations talking about how women are equal to men only for the women to be weirded out and not understand why would they want to be ‘like a man’. im sometimes so conflicted by all this but if i think too much i realize i dont even know what exactly is actually bothering me? probably just everything because when ur a lesbian everything is just opposed to you. sorry for opening up about this but maybe some of u relate idk im on desktop cos the app doesnt work and this format is making me write a lot

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kaaytea · 3 years

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hi :’’) i love ur blog so much!!!! can i request some random fluffy headcanons/lil scenarios of what a relationship with haruichi, ryou, and miyuki would be like? maybe childhood friend for miyuki only? ;v; i just feel like hes the type to go after his childhood friend lol

Falling for a childhood friend

⤷Includes: Ryousuke, Haruichi, Miyuki

Warnings: brief mentions of death, lil bit angsty

A/n: Hello lovely! It makes me so happy to hear you're enjoying the blog 🤧 I've already done dating hcs for both Ryou and Haruichi so I decided to include them in the falling for childhood friend req, I hope you don't mind! Also I don't know what happened with Miyooks, I threw in his mom as a small detail but then it turned slightly angsty

----------------------------------------------------------

Ryousuke

Please, Ryou has been introducing you as his s/o since he was 8 years old

You lived across the street from the Kominatos and being the same age as Ryou your parents set up play dates frequently when you were younger

Initially Ryou would tease you alot by tugging on your hair and occasionally shoving you

But when other kids on the street started to bully you and push you around like he did, Ryou defended you with his life

Only he was allowed to bully you 😤

One day he just casually asked you out while lying on the grass in his backyard

You were kids so you didn't fully understand relationships

You liked Ryou, he protected you and was kind so that was enough reasoning for you to accept

You were "dating" the last few years of elementary school

When you started junior high you were a bit confused on if your relationship was actually serious because it began from an innocent question on Ryousuke's part

Was he actually seriously considering you his s/o? Or was this just a silly thing the two of you had kept going for too long?

When you asked him this he looked at you like you'd grown two heads

"I asked you out didn't I?"

"Yes but we were barely 8 at the time. You couldn't have actually been serious."

"I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't serious. My feelings for you haven't changed, if anything I'm probably more in love with you now then I was then."

"O-Oh"

To prove his point he kissed you on the lips for the first time

(and then he made fun of how flustered you looked)

Anyways

When Ryou told you he was going to Seidou you were heart broken. You were already confirmed to attend a local highschool meaning he'd be in a completely different city from you for the next three years

The last thing Ryousuke wanted was to break up with you. You were probably the only person he had met that he considered as important as his family, it'd be even more painful for the both of you if he broke off your relationship before leaving

You eventually settled on calling each other every night to talk and then Video chat every other Saturday

Ryousuke would sneak off during dinner to avoid his teammates eavesdropping on your conversations

He ended up missing you alot more than he thought he would so he looks forward to your nightly calls all day

He's extremely happy whenever you take the train to Tokyo to watch one of his games

After the game he always meets up with you and sneaks away from the team so you could watch the next game together

He also looks for a secluded area to just hug you for 5 minutes straight because wOW did he miss being able to hold you!

Haruichi

Haruichi was so close with Ryou when they were younger and spent most of his free time following him around so the two of you most likely met at school

Haruichi wasn't the best at putting himself out there to make friends in elementary school. He was a bit too timid to approach anyone so he usually kept to himself or sat with his teacher when the class was given free time

Until one day you just sat down next to him and started talking

He was too shy to tell you to go away and he'd be lying if he said he didn't like having a friend to be with, so he let you pull him over to a different table to draw together

By the end of that day the two of you were inseparable

Haruichi was honestly sO excited to have a friend that wasn't one of Ryou's! Sweet boy went home and told his mom all about you

Fast forward to junior high and you're still best friends

It's actually during junior high that the two of you somehow get even closer as Ryou left to attend Seidou leaving Haruichi alone back home in Kanagawa

The two of you spent almost every free moment you had together and Haruichi started to find a different sort of comfort around you

He doesn't even know what triggered it, he just suddenly realized how cute you looked and ever since then his chest would get all tight and he'd have the constant feeling of butterflies in his stomach when around you

Ironically everyone thought the two of you were already a couple, including his parents who once asked how his date with you was to which he had to stutter out an explanation with a bright red face

In your finale year of junior high, Haruichi decided he had to confess at some point. The uncertainty of where he'd be going for highschool was hanging over him like a nasty rain cloud, and with how he was leaning more and more towards running off to Tokyo each day, he knew he couldn't just leave without telling you how he felt

So one day while the two of you were studying in his room he just couldn't hold it in anymore and told you everything

You immediately told him that you were harboring the same feelings he was and encouraged him to go peruse baseball at Seidou

It felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders when you said that. He pulled you into a tight hug and hid his face in you shoulder as he muttered out thank yous

The day Haruichi left for Seidou you could tell he was torn between being disappointed about leaving you and being excited to open a new door of possibilities at the prestigious school

You sent him off with a kiss on the cheek promising to come visit sometime

What Haruichi didn't know is that your "visit" would be happening way sooner than he thought

A few months prior you had sent an application to Seidou and remarkably you were accepted!

Haruichi was significantly gloomy on the first day of classes. For the first time in over 10 years you wouldn't be sitting in the desk in front of his. He didn't think he'd feel so lonely this quickly, but here he was staring out the window desperately wishing you were here to ramble on about a videogame or what your mom had packed in your bento

The look on his face was priceless when you walked into his classroom and pulled a chair up to his desk like you'd usually do

"W-what are you doing here?!"

"I go to school here silly! Anyways, I started a show last night that we HAVE to watch together!"

Unsurprisingly the two of you were still attached at the hip while at Seidou

Although, Ryou seemed to find great pleasure in teasing the both of you now that you were in his proximity. He always took the time to send you knowing smiles or bops on the head when he passed the both of you in the halls

Miyuki

You lived relatively close to Miyuki but knew him more so due to the fact that your father worked at his dad's steel mill

When Miyuki's mom was still around she was always offering to watch you while you parents worked, so the two of you were kind of forced to become friends from your constant presence at his house

Those early days of friendship were spent in the kitchen with Miyuki gushing about baseball, pointing out cool plays and explaining the game to you while his mother cooked you both lunch

He'd also drag you and his mother to a park near by so the two of you could play catch together

(his mom would often have to remind him that sometimes you didn't want to play catch and to let you decide what the two of you should do)

When his mom died you slowly saw the effect it had on him

Miyuki lost the cheerful innocence he carried when he'd explain baseball games in his homes small kitchen. He became a little more closed off; a little less bright

There were days you would stop by to check in on him only to find Kazuya curled up on his bed clutching a scarf his mother had made him to his chest

He didn't cry, not once. Instead your friend became an empty vessel, a shell of what he formally was

Slowly his old cheery attitude would shine occasionally when making jokes or teasing you, a small crack in the calculative demeanor he kept up

Those small appearances of light-hearted behavior were your only reassurance he was still the same little boy you initially knew

Since his mothers death you took it upon yourself to be that little spark of light that seemed to have dimmed inside him

You pulled him to the park to play catch, encouraged him to continue being a catcher, you even helped manage your schools team so you could keep him company

You also became accustomed to carrying band-aids with you. Miyuki was a small kid for his age and had a habit of pissing off his upperclassmen which never ended well

When it came time to choose highschools Miyuki made it clear that you didn't have to follow him to Seidou to keep him company

He was going for baseball, making friends wasn't his top priority anyways

In the end you still went to Seidou with him (which secretly he was very grateful for, he felt better knowing you'd be there for him and vice versa)

I feel like Miyuki would unknowingly have had a crush on you for years but never realized it. He just played it off as you being his childhood friend

you knew him better than he knew himself so of course he'd feel this comforting love towards you!

Boy is his world turned upside down when Kuramochi asks him how long the two of you have been dating

He'd never considered seeing you in a romantic light but now the thoughts of holding you to his chest or kissing your nose WONT. LEAVE.

He becomes very awkward and goes through a mini crisis everytime he sees you

This would go on for a few weeks but everything seemed to peak after the summer tournament

You'd just gotten back with the rest of the managers and immediately went off to find Miyuki

He was in the dinning hall already watching their game against Inashiro when you found him. It was pretty late so the hall was empty asides from the two of you

When you walked over to him he just silently pulled you down to sit on his lap, propping his chin on your shoulder so he could continue reviewing the game. In return you ran your fingers through his hair

Kazuya would never admit he was upset with how the game turned out, but you could tell he was torn up from the outcome

Everything about this moment seemed to make his feelings boil over. He moved his head from your shoulder and stared you down

"I'm in love with you"

"About time you admitted it, dumbass!"

He pinched your side in retaliation, laughing as you slapped his hand away

And then he kissed you ♥️

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zenalios · 3 years

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[Warning: Long ramble ahead]

I have been thinking about Poseidon for an entire day, and not in the horny way. Much as I love to hate him, if I’m going to write about him, I need to know what makes him tick, right? There’s not much to work with if you look on the surface (seriously, I screenshotted and reread his chapters many many times, this twinky blond’s surface personality is almost as flat as an ironing board).

This all stemmed from me exploring whether or not Poseidon would have affairs. And someone else reminding me that canon Poseidon would not (again, thank you, you know who you are). The answer to this?

It depends. haha thanks law school No, but seriously, I think I have gotten a grasp of his personality, hear me out if you have the time.

How does Poseidon actually function?

If he deems himself to be perfect, what does Poseidon actually do after all, since almost anything could be demeaning for him to do? Author has left us with a few things to work with that he won’t do or associate himself with, and instances where he acted out upon facing them:

Schemes and betrayal - Adamas schemed against Zeus (outcome: Poseidon killed him)

“The herd”/Support - The crowd cheered for Poseidon (outcome: no deaths, but he gave them a death glare and insulted them)

This could possibly extend to more, including protecting his reputation as the “perfect” being, the god of gods (”GOG”).

But if we go along those lines… why did he even show up or participate in Ragnarok? Did Poseidon sign himself up? A tournament of this level could easily be interpreted as scheming too. That, and now he has to perform in front of the other gods, who he called a “useless bunch of bottom feeders”. Excluding the fact that the Author called him in as a champion (or Zeus, if we want to get cheeky), why did he agree to become one? He’s so perfect, he shouldn’t have to waste his time fighting humans, right? Why does he even care to attend anyways? Is it to watch their demise, which, again, they’re so trivial for a perfect being like him, so he shouldn’t give a shit about it anyways? Is he a repressed god who enjoys fighting like Thor, Zeus, and Shiva? We don’t get the impression he does, because Poseidon has never even had to try his hand at fighting someone better than him; he literally just one shot Adamas and that was it. Poseidon could have just turned down being a champion -we know he’s the most feared god, and nobody dares question him, so actually, nobody would have said anything if he decided not to. The audience didn’t even know he was fighting, so really, he didn’t stand to lose anything if he didn’t participate.

Here’s what I think. He participated because he knew he was strong, and he thought he could make a point there about how insignificant humanity is. His arrogance was further boosted by Thor’s crushing defeat of Lü Bu, and Zeus’s defeat of Adam (who was considered mankind’s trump card too). If they can do it, so can he, because he is the GOG.

What if he’s just doing things to prove a point? It’s very childish, yes. But so is the way he talks and behaves (I play a MOBA, and he sounds like all the trashtalkers I’ve ever met “ur trash uninstall game n00b” <3). He is like a teenager that has taken it upon himself to go through that “Nobody understands me” “I’m better than everyone” phase for all eternity.

Take having an affair for example. As pointed out, affairs can lead to a weakening of his divine reputation, and also, vulnerability. These are things Poseidon would be loath to fall for. So... no affairs? Not necessarily. The gods had tons of affairs. Zeus is literally depicted as a lecherous old man, so there is no way he was not having any of his own as well. With the exception of best boi Heracles, Ares, and Hermes (counting those we have seen so far), I think all of them would have had at least one, one way or another.

BUT, is being lustful contrary to being perfect? And if you successfully resist said lust, does that place you above everyone else? Yes, and yes. And how does Poseidon see himself?

Perfect. Above everyone else. The GOG I can’t not use this term, it’s so pretentious to me. On the topic of affairs, this would actually mean he deems himself impervious to lust as well. Poseidon would do it just to prove that he can, that he is fully conscious of himself, to prove that it’s just sex, just libido management to him, that he alone is capable of having an affair and emerging unscathed (this is childish, Poseidon is stupid).

WHICH NOW BRINGS ME TO THIS.

Why, for the love of the gods, is Poseidon like this?

Apart from the Author just writing him like so, I do believe there are certain underlying factors contributing to his trash personality.

In Greek mythology, Poseidon was not always satisfied with Zeus’s rule. Though he was not overly jealous, he did attempt to overthrow him once or twice. Homer’s Iliad even mentions that Poseidon has schemed to bind Zeus, along with Hera and other fellow Olympians (think Adamas gathering everyone to do it).

Poseidon in Ragnarok is never mentioned or shown to be jealous of Zeus; however, this does not exclude him from resenting that he did not become the king of gods. Zeus is their younger brother by order of birth (not counting the second birth), hence he should defer to the older brothers. It’s likely Poseidon thinks the same, there’s literally no evidence he is even loyal to Zeus other than him directly ending a plot that would overthrow Zeus by killing the source of dissent. All he says is that Adamas has defiled everything they stand for a bit harsh, man. Self-projection, maybe? The only difference between them would be that Adamas has chosen to take action and gathered everyone else to do it, while Poseidon just sat there and sulked about it. Then he takes it out on Adamas for bringing it up to begin with.

I really believe this would resonate with Poseidon. If he’s that good, that perfect, the GOG, as they call him, why then was he not made the king of gods? Does it make sense for the GOG to not... become the… GOG? Underneath the entire “gods are perfect we need no one, gods don't need to scheme, gods don't need betrayal, bla bla” spiel, all I see is an entitled bastard salty geddit that he didn’t get the throne despite the fact that he never fought for it, simply because he thinks he’s so good it should have been handed to him on a golden plate instead of it going to Zeus.

And when Sasaki pinpoints what he has not done, he gets even more tilted than a player whose match just got thrown, and winds up throwing his own match. Because even though Hermes mentioned that “the true depths of the ocean god remain a mystery even to his own kind”, someone who has lived life to the fullest like Sasaki can easily call him out on his bullshit. Which he of course becomes absolutely incensed at. Sure, he's played by these rules for eons, but if a person has been that way for so long, they would simply be confident and shake the insult off. Why then, is Poseidon so angered by Sasaki's statements? It's simple. After so long, someone has finally seen through it or dared to call it out after seeing it. The gods might not have, since they all believe they're perfect (re: Zeus, "such are the gods"), but a human certainly would.

Killing Poseidon can essentially be simplified into this:

Passion vs apathy (not empathy, again, it is 7am)

Action vs inaction

People you actually want in your life vs toxic people you don’t (I’m kidding, but seriously)

Overall,

Poseidon is a hypocrite and is so self-absorbed that in his own world, he plays judge, jury, and executioner.

“Perfect” this, “perfect” that. The whole thing is an act, ocean man is a sham. Poseidon excuses away his actions by insisting that perfect beings do not need to do such things. Then he goes and does them, but picks apart other people for it. After Adamas attacks, he becomes history erased from the books -hello, this is another scheme between yourself and Hermes, what about gods not needing to scheme? On top of that, doesn’t killing your brother count as betrayal anyways?

Anyways, yes, he’s stiff, he’s trash, I would not wish meeting / dealing with him upon my enemies, but he is a very nice challenge as a writer to try and pick apart his character.

#snv poseidon #poseidon record of ragnarok #long ramble #it's 7am #i didn't sleep because of this #i spent a whole day trying to figure it out #i feel like sasaki reaching the bottom of the abyss

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carllisle · 3 years

Note

How do you think Esme argued with Rosalie, Emmett or Edward? How is she dealing with their shenanigans? Could you imagine first argument between her and Edward?

sorry it’s taken so long for me to get to this ask! thank you for asking, it means a lot that you have asked my opinion! i hope you're having a lovely day/evening/night

so in midnight sun we get a glimpse of how understanding and patient Esme is on the day of the baseball game when Edward notes that Esme had been trying to talk to Rosalie all afternoon about Bella and the Bella/Edward situation and even that they were holding hands when they were talking abt it on the baseball field. Edward also notes earlier that when Rosalie was first turned, Esme had a great deal of patience with Rosalie. Now, let’s be real, no one has an endless amount of patience, not even a vampire and there must have been something that would make her crack. I think that Esme was a willing ear when Rosalie mourned the human life she lost and how much she hates immortality and resents Carlisle for giving it to her. She probably encouraged Rosalie to talk to Carlisle about it to get it all out in the open and move past it as best as she could, but after a few years of still being resentful to Carlisle and calling him all the names under the sun Esme probably snaps. This would probably be because she saw how much Carlisle was hurting from Rosalie’s words and how much that added to his self-loathing. I think she argued with Rosalie and pointed out as sensitively as she could that without Carlisle, Rosalie would be dead and wouldn’t have any kind of life, and isn’t this half-life better than nothing? Would she really prefer death over life with Emmett? And that Carlisle thought he was doing the right thing by saving her! he deserves forgiveness and understanding, just as she deserves patience and compassion. I think Rosalie scoffed and said she never asked to be saved but after Esme put it like that she perhaps did some reflection and came to forgive him somewhat because after all he did give her some kind of life, and he gave her Emmett.

Clearly Esme and Rosalie are very close but I think Rosalie’s stubbornness is perhaps a point of contention for them. Esme is also kind and compassionate and I think someone like Rosalie would find that annoying sometimes, because sometimes she just wants to rant and rave and be angry without someone trying to fix it, you know? Sometimes she just needs to have a good bitch about something and not have Esme try to fix it or ‘look on the bright side’.

As Emmett is fairly easy-going and so is Esme, I can’t think of anything specific that they would argue about. Probably just small little tiffs here and there that are to be expected between adults that live in the same household - dirty shoes in the house, being messy/not doing his share of the household chores, getting irritated at her nagging, just common stuff. Given her past, when Edward and Emmett were rough-housing after his transformation I’m not sure she would have the courage to ask them to be more careful right away and maybe Carlisle asked them on her behalf. Later on in their relationship, I’m sure it became more of a reminder than an argument. Maybe she found his cavalier attitude about slip-ups upsetting, as Emmett seems to find slip-ups as an unavoidable part of their nature, whereas I imagine Esme to be deeply affected by each life she takes. Perhaps when he is trying to comfort her after she kills someone he makes an off-hand remark about how these things happen, it’s alright, and she blows up at him because she is so upset and she drills into him how it’s not alright. I’m not sure it would be an argument, though, because Emmett would likely apologise and so would she for misdirecting her anger at him.

God with Edward it’s so hard to know because SMeyer is criminal in writing Esme’s devotion to her son. We’re supposed to believe that she was happy to leave Bella in New Moon, because of Edward’s remarks in Midnight Sun that Esme didn’t care about anything except his happiness, but I call bull. SMeyer writes her so 2-dimensionally. Esme is such a kind and loving person and over the summer between Twilight and New Moon we can only assume that Bella spent a huge amount of time with the Cullens and that her relationship with them all developed immensely. In my head, this means especially Alice, Emmett, and Esme. Look how devastated she was when they left, and in New Moon it’s explicitly clear that it’s not just because Edward left, but because they all did! Now would Esme be happy about Edward deciding to leave her instead of turn her? Absolutely not. Would she try to put her foot down and convince him to stay? Yes. When he argued back and refused to be swayed by her, would she ultimately follow his wishes? Unfortunately yes. I imagine there was still an argument between the two of them as Esme could easily put herself in Bella’s shoes and imagine what it would do to her.

Esme joined Carlisle and Edward during Edward’s early years as a vampire and perhaps there were remarks made when Edward accidentally heard her thoughts and she resented that (even though she knew it was not his fault). She likes Tanya a lot and probably tried to get Edward to reciprocate Tanya’s affections or at least give her a chance and Edward firmly answered why he didn’t want Tanya in that way. Similar to her arguments with Rosalie, I think Esme argued with Edward about their nature as vampires. In my head, Esme is in touch with her faith as a Christian, always working to make sure her faith evolves with the world and always working on her relationship with God, scripture, and those she loves. I think she fundamentally disagrees with Edward about their souls and argues that they are not damned, they are not soulless, and they are not evil. She argues that Edward is not evil despite his countless murders nor is he damned for them, at which point Edward replies that he doesn’t regret his murders and he is not sorry, therefore he cannot ask forgiveness and he cannot be absolved, and he is doomed to the fiery pits below. Esme huffs but can’t fault his logic. So I imagine they have theological debates that can stray into passionate arguments. Carlisle is left on the sidelines and once again is stuck between the beliefs of his son, and the beliefs of his wife, still not knowing which argument he agrees with more.

In terms of their first argument, I think it was about Charles. I’ve explored it in my long fic This New Life (ch 12 if ur interested teehee) where Edward is so enraged by the memories of him that Esme has that he wants to hunt him down. At this point in time Edward has never killed a person and despite the built up rage he had for Charles, Esme didn’t want him to go after him because she couldn’t bear for Edward to kill a person - even a person like that - in her name. I think she argued passionately for him to let Charles live because she couldn’t have lived with the guilt if Edward had killed him. She feared that it would be a mark on Edward’s soul and she would look at Edward and see the sin and see the man she hated. I think this argument was pretty passionate. Once Carlisle knew the extent of what Charles had done I believe he sided reluctantly with Edward for a while and agreed that Charles did not deserve to live, although deep down Carlisle wanted to exact revenge for the horrors committed against the woman he loved. After Esme pointed out (passionately, emotionally) that they were trying to control her and make decisions for her just like Charles had done, Carlisle backed off and allowed his mind to be changed and he joined Esme in asking Edward not to go against her wishes.

Once he got back from his travels as feminist vigilante legend, a trip during which Charles was his first ever victim, I think Esme was so overwhelmed to have him home that she didn’t even care about Charles. Edward justified himself pretty quickly by saying that he would have gone on this spree anyway and committed all these murders, so he was just one in many, and that was good enough for Esme tbf, and it allowed her to move on finally.

Sorry, this got really long and rambly but I hope it made sense! Thank you again for asking!

#anon #ask #this new life #headcanon #ellie writes

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theweasleyslytherin · 4 years

Text

i knew you (ron weasley x reader) part 9

part 1/masterlist

summary: Ron inexplicably broke up with Cassiah Black just days before their final year at Hogwarts, leaving them both with broken hearts and no future plans, but too stubborn and too proud to fix things. The centuries-old rivalry between their Gryffindor and Slytherin houses only make things worse, and friendships are truly put to the test. Will they find their way back together before the year ends, or will the end of their time at Hogwarts be the last time they ever see the each other?

warnings: angst, drug/alcohol use

CHAPTER 9 - sight for sore eyes

We're lying on the moon It's a perfect afternoon Your shadow follows me all day Making sure that I'm okay and we're a million miles away

The Moon Song, beabadoobee ________________________

Ron had actually had a really good time at the party, despite the fact that he remembered only about 30 minutes of it and had spent the entire next morning yacking into a bucket instead of getting breakfast with everyone else in the dining hall. At least Harry had brought him back a croissant as an offering... but he'd thrown that up, too. Bloody firewhiskey.

All of that had been worsened by the fact that all he wished was for Cassie to be there to take care of him, and that she was with someone new and it fucking hurt. After that morning, the nausea faded, but the aching feeling in his chest persisted for the coming weeks.

It only worsened when he was sitting in Potions class a few weeks after his fight with Cassiah and, just before class was dismissed, his graded exam landed on his desk in front of his upside down. He hadn't expected to get an A – the panicky, humiliating feeling he'd had in his chest while taking it had been enough of an indication – but he'd had hope that he'd done alright. Ron had always struggled in school, but this year, he'd made a promise to himself for things to be different. He didn't need to check the grade to know what the result would be – he already knew.

He took a deep breath and flipped the paper over, trying to be subtle about it so that Neville wouldn't look over and see.

An F.

F as in failure. And it was all his own stubborn fault for refusing Cassiah's notes. Sure, they'd just been an empty gesture probably to assuage her guilt over dating Draco, but they would've made all the difference and Ron knew it. He always self-sabotaged like this because he was too damn proud... It must've been the Gryffindor in him.

He felt the tears prickling in the corners of his eyes and he willed them away – not in public, he told himself. He let his eyes flash to Cassiah, who was quietly smiling down at her paper. She never wanted to let on just how easy school was for her – she was always downplaying her talents or successes to make other people feel better, including Ron – but Ron knew. He was reminded of how he'd been able to be vulnerable with his emotions with her. She was so unashamed about expressing everything she was feeling, which could sometimes get to be rather annoying for Ron, but that was one of the many amazing things about her. When Ron was with Cassie, there was nothing embarrassing about feeling all his feelings as they came. Now he didn't have that outlet anymore, and he could feel it taking a toll.

Meanwhile, Draco was sitting with a smug look on his face, showing off his graded test to anyone who would look at it. Stupid bloody prefect, Ron thought, his blood boiling and his freckled ears turning red. Draco had always had everything – wealth, smarts, you name it – except for the most valuable thing: a person like Cassie. And now he had her, too. Ron couldn't help but think that Draco could never fully understand just how lucky he was. He had best treat her like the blessing she was. Merlin knows Ron hadn't, and now he regretted it so deeply.

He thought back to the day he'd let Cassie go. That hadn't been the first time he'd seen her cry because like he said, Cassiah was truly a serial crier, but it had been the first time that he'd been the reason for her tears. However, while it had crushed him to know that he'd made a girl he loved so deeply feel so horrible, he'd been a bit numb to at the time just based off of the fact that there was so much adrenaline pumping through his body and he was trying not to throw up or cry or faint.

Ron had intrusive thoughts about that day ever since, but he'd always pushed them away. It was too difficult to relive it all, and he knew that if he let himself, he'd be crushed with regret. He couldn't do that, because all he would want to do would be to crawl back to her, but that was the one thing he could never do.

But lately, he'd found himself wanting to revisit those feelings... Not that he'd ever admit it out loud.

He'd seen Cassiah cry once since that day, and it had been when he'd discovered her in Draco's room. Had that night, just a week after the breakup, been the beginning of her relationship with Draco? He felt sick at the thought.

Cassiah had told him that night that he'd given up the right to be concerned about her, but even though Ron was as angry with her and he'd ever been, he couldn't stop himself from caring about her, even if he had to do it from a distance for both of their sakes. Seeing Cassiah cry that night had broken his heart because not only had Ron made her cry, but more selfishly, it had implied the possibility that perhaps Cassiah cared enough about another guy to cry over someone else.

For the first time, Ron let himself try to look at that night from a different perspective. Maybe Draco hadn't been forcing himself on Cassiah. Perhaps he had actually been comforting her when she was...

Bloody hell.

The classroom was clearing out Ron could feel himself being overtaken by impulse, which in all honesty was usually the driving factor in most of his actions. He grabbed his failed test in his fist, crumpled it into a ball, and shoved it into his pocket before taking off in pursuit of a certain blonde Slytherin. He was sure that this was the first time he was going to purposefully interact with Malfoy but hey – it was a different world than it had been before.

"Malfoy, wait up!" he called, approaching the blonde boy but not daring to reach out and touch him. That somehow felt like crossing a forbidden line.

Draco slowed to a stop, murmuring something to Crabbe and Blaise before sending his friends on their way and carefully turning around. "Weasley. What gives me the pleasure?" Draco smirked, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms over his chest, "Oh! Or have you come to accuse me again?" His tone was playful but his words were harsh.

Ron sighed, biting the inside of his cheek awkwardly. "About that. I really hate that I have to say this, but maybe I was... wrong. I don't know what on Earth has possessed Cassie that she would be shagging you, but, nevertheless, I uh–" he shuffled uncomfortably between his two feet, "I kind of wanted to ask you something."

"Well, go ahead and ask then. I haven't got time for your mindless rambling," Draco mocked. Merlin, what did Cassiah see in him?

"Okay. I have to say, I bloody hate that you two are... whatever you two are doing. But, I'll feel a lot better if I get this off my chest–"

"Spit it out, Weasley."

Ron stuttered nervously before continuing, "Do you care about her? You won't hurt her?"

Draco finally uncrossed his arms, suddenly less hostile as his face softened. "Of course. What kind of question is that?" he replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world and he hadn't spent the last seven years torturing Ron and his friends, "Although I have to add that my relationship with Cassiah is different than you seem to think."

Ron frowned. What was that supposed to mean? He couldn't help but wonder if Draco meant that it was more than a rebound – that there were real feelings involved – but he couldn't let his mind go there at the moment. He composed himself and asked his real question:

"So, considering you care about her, I can guess that you didn't intentionally make Cassiah cry that night." Ron felt a hot shame rising in his chest as he came to the realization that his worst fears were true. But he still had to ask, "You said it was me who made her cry that night. But that doesn't make any sense, because she's moved on with you. Why would she be crying over me if she doesn't even care about me anymore?"

Draco's face shifted into a complex expression that Ron couldn't read. His eyes flicked away for a moment before sighing and looking Ron dead in the eyes and saying, "It really isn't my job to mediate between the two of you, and quite frankly, I'm not overly concerned with helping you." Ron nodded and turned to leave but Draco quickly grabbed him by the sleeve and added, "But you and I both know that people don't stop caring about each other altogether overnight. Sometimes, people never stop caring about each other, in some capacity or another."

Ron stood there staring, flabbergasted. He had not expected Malfoy to be so insightful. This was truly a side of the blonde boy he had never seen before in all their years of hating each other. Ron wasn't sure what to make of any of it, so he just reached out awkwardly and grabbed Draco's hand to shake it and gave a short, "Thanks, Malfoy. Seriously."

As he turned to walk away, his mind began spinning and going through an uncountable amount of emotions.

Cassiah still cared about him. But then why would she do something as cruel as she had on the night of the Quidditch match? Then again, Ron cared about Cassiah as well, but had hurt her pretty badly, too – hurt her enough to make her cry again. How many times had he made her cry without his knowledge? Probably at least as many times as he'd secretly cried over her when he was alone, and he hated himself for that responsibility. He couldn't take any of it back, but he could be better going forward.

If they both cared about each other so much, then why were they putting on an act of disinterest. That would only hurt themselves, and each other.

He had to find Cassiah.

___________

Cassiah was tucked into her favorite, quiet corner of the library, hidden from the rest of the world by an enormous stack of books. The large majority of the books she'd pulled from the shelves were about Divination – which she'd always had a fascination with from the day she met Professor Trelawney. Something about the warm feeling she got in her chest in that classroom stuck with her, along with careful, mindful practices she learned there. Many people were skeptical of the practice of Divination, but Cassiah had always been a stellar, devoted student in the class.

However, she wasn't reading the Divination texts she'd found at the moment. Instead, her nose was buried in a piece of classic fiction she had brought from home. It felt amazing to get lost in another fantastical world for a while. She'd always loved to read as a child, but as she'd grown older, she'd grown out of the habit. After her breakup, though, she'd been devastated and had turned to fiction for comfort for the first time in so long. When she was reading one of her stories, her mind couldn't focus on what Ron might be thinking, or if Hermione and Ginny were hanging out and talking about her.

Truth be told, she thought a lot more about Ron than she did about her friends because he had become her best friend above anyone else.

She was so entranced in her fictional world that she didn't hear anyone coming, and she certainly couldn't see anyone over the tower of textbooks she had around her. That was on purpose. None of the people she actually wanted to see – Draco, Blaise, Pansy, the whole lot – would be in the library and she didn't particularly wish to talk to anybody else.

"Cassiah?"

A gruff voice startled her out of her trance and she gasped, dropping her book and cursing, "Bloody fuck–"

Her words got caught in her throat the second she looked up and saw red.

Red hair, to be exact. Her jaw slacked with realization as she stared up at freckled cheeks and blue-green eyes.

Ron chuckled nervously, looking a little too much like he might throw up for Cassiah's usual liking, and ran a hand through his hair nervously. "Still got that mouth on you, I see," he offered, a sheepish half-smile forcing its way onto his face.

"I–" Cassiah stuttered, completely and utterly shell-shocked. Out of all the students at Hogwarts, Ron was the last one she expected to come find her in the library. She'd completely given up on ever speaking to him again, if she was being honest. She shook her head, "What are you doing here?"

She could practically hear Ron's heart beating out of his chest, but it gave her comfort to know that he was just as terrified as she was. He should be terrified – he'd broken her heart like she never even knew was possible.

Ron was speaking quietly with nerves, the same way he had when he'd first told her he wanted to be with her. "I knew I'd find you here," he said, sounding rather out of breath and now that Cassiah was looking closer, rather red in the face, "Well, I actually ran over practically the entire grounds before realizing that I knew exactly where to find you."

From Ron's breathless tone and rosy complexion, Cassiah was inclined to believe that he quite literally meant the entire grounds.

"Ron," Cassiah said just as quietly, not fully trusting her voice to not show her nerves or emotions, "Why were you looking for me? We haven't really been speaking at all ever since the breakup." Saying the words break up out loud to Ron made Cassiah choke on a lump in her throat she wasn't even aware was forming until that moment. She ducked her head, silently cursing herself for tearing up. He hadn't even said anything bad yet, but just looking at his face in person made her heart hurt. She had once loved this man so much, and now he hated her so terribly.

"Yeah, I- I know," Ron huffed, "Do you mind if I sit?"

His mannerisms were reminding Cassiah of when he had broken up with her. His breathing was ragged with fear and his voice was so low and soft and unsure.

"No, of course," Cassiah replied, stumbling to clumsily push some books aside to make space for him at the table. When Ron took his seat beside her – but not too close, she noted – the tower of books was now concealing both of them from anyone else's view. They had complete privacy. It was like they were alone, for the first time in months.

"I'm sorry that I made you cry," Ron blurted, "The night that I walked in on you and Draco, and any other time really. I'm really sorry."

Now Cassiah was truly shocked. She thought he'd come here bearing bad news. "It's okay, Ron, really."

"No, it's not," Ron said definitively, "I always told you when we were together that it wasn't okay for people to hurt each other, and it's still not okay now. I don't want to hurt you, Cassie."

At that, she let a tear slip out, and she looked over at him through glassy hazel eyes as she desperately tried to keep the waterworks in. "Well then I guess I owe you an apology, too," she said, just barely above a whisper because that was all she could manage at the moment, "For what happened at your Quidditch game. I– I know that was a really, really big day for you and I hadn't considered how much my actions would really hurt you."

Cassiah took a deep, shaky breath, staring directly into his eyes. She felt the prickling sensation in her nose and her eyes, and she decided to let her quiet tears fall. "Even if we're not together, I can never be mad at you. I still care about you so much and I hate that I did something that made you think otherwise."

She could've sworn she saw Ron's eyes shining, but he ducked his head just quickly enough for her to not see. "I care about you too, Cassie," he said, reaching out to grab her hand.

Instinctually, she started to pull her hand back. She hated being touched when she was upset. But she knew that this was his love language, and it would only make things worse if she rejected him, so she forced herself to stay in his grasp. It felt so wrong, after everything that had happened between them.

"So what do we do?" Ron asked. Cassiah felt a glimmer of hope in her chest, but then she remembered something Ron had said to her many moons ago.

"When couples break up, I don't think they should get back together. Unless it's been years and they both have fundamentally changed, they need to remember why they broke up in the first place."

Cassiah had thought it was bullshit at the time but had never thought it was be relevant to her and Ron, because she thought they would be together forever.

She shoved that glimmer of hope down into a dark, faraway place – as faraway as the kingdoms in her stories.

"We were always friends. We... We said we'd always be friends. And I really miss being your friend," she conceded, deciding that settling for friendship was better than not having Ron in her life at all, even if she would always ache for more.

If she hadn't been staring at her won fidgeting hands, she would've seen how Ron's face fell for just a second before he plastered a soft smile back onto his face.

"Then let's be friends," he concluded, smiling at Cassiah wistfully, "How hard can that be?"

Cassiah giggled quietly at that. She finally felt brave enough to look up at him. "Okay. So, when do we start? Being friends, doing friend stuff," she joked, biting her lip playfully.

"I mean, Seamus and I were gonna get high and spy on Neville's date with Luna if you wanna come?" he offered.

Cassiah gasped and punched Ron lightly in the arm, "Merlin, I am so out of the loop. Neville and Luna are finally together?"

"Yup," Ron smiled. He and Cassiah had been shipping Neville and Luna for years. "This is their second date. He's taking her into Hogsmeade for dinner. If we hurry back to my dorm, you can take a few hits before Seamus gets there," he tempted her, "I know you don't like to smoke in front of other people." The wink he sends her is telling of their years of friendship and she can't help but smile brightly back at him.

"Hey! I'm not like that anymore," she defended, crossing her arms across her chest in mock-offense, "But I will take you up on the offer."

"Yes," Ron did a little fist pump, "I really thought you were gonna say no. It's fun when you smoke."

Cassiah smiled shyly, not quite sure what to make of how natural everything felt between them. She knew there was still so much hurt buried on both sides, but she supposed it was easier to pretend that none of it had ever happened. Maybe some things didn't need to be talked about; maybe it was better that way.

They hurried back to Ron's dorm, finding that they had, in fact, beat Seamus there.

Ron made quick work of rooting through the drawers under his bed, poking his head up and holding up a bag of rolling papers and a pipe. "Blunt or bowl? Lady's choice," he questioned, raising his eyebrows at Cassiah with the goofiest look on his face.

Cassiah smiled shyly, biting her lip, before finally answering timidly, "Bowl." She never really smoked blunts. Well, she didn't smoke much at all, actually, but she felt more comfortable this way.

"Alright," Ron replied, pulling out his grinder and setting about his business. Cassiah watched him working with such expertise. As good as it was to be hanging out with Ron, it was nice to not have to talk for a moment and just wrap her mind around what was happening. She sat on the bed next to him, letting her feet dangle just above the floor and kicking them softly back and forth.

"Okay, c'mere," Ron said.

"I can light it myself," Cassiah challenged him, raising an eyebrow. She knew he'd be surprised to hear her say that.

"Ooh, big girl," he joked back. He motioned for her to closer anyways, "For old time's sake."

Cassiah huffed, "Okay, fine," but secretly she was relieved.

Ron held the pipe up to her lips and he smiled down at her. "Ready?" he asked, and she nodded. He used to wand to cast a charm and suddenly there was a flame.

_____

Cassiah was looking up at him through those thick, long eyelashes, and her hair was tucked so cutely behind her ears. She looked so beautiful that Ron could feel his heart melting as he stood there. What a blessing it was to be this close to her again, studying her beauty from just inches away. She was the prettiest creature he'd ever seen, and he'd almost forgotten all of the little details that made her so special. But sitting there, watching her, it was almost like things had never changed between them.

"I'm excited," Ron said with a goofy, toothy grin.

"Merlin, don't make it into a big deal, Ron," Cassiah shot back, blushing madly with embarrassment.

"My little Cassie's first time smoking," he mocked, pinching her cheeks. She swatted him away, but her laugh let him know she wasn't too pissed off.

"I would've done it before, I just," she bit her lip, "I don't know, I want it to be just me and you. It's embarrassing, I don't want Fred and George or the guys here to make fun of me."

Ron knew she hated people seeing her do things she wasn't good at. "I won't make fun of you, " he reassured, and she raised an eyebrow. "Promise," he said, offering her a pinky.

She scooched closer to him and let him light the bowl for her, his wand radiating heat from the flame that made her want to shy away. She breathed in the smoke and then released it in his face.

She paused, and after a few moments declared, "I don't feel anything."

"Baby, you've gotta inhale it."

"That's what I did!" she insisted.

"No, honey," Ron explained, like try to hold it in your lungs for a second, don't just keep it in your mouth." He studied Cassiah carefully, seeing how her ears were pink with embarrassment, "You wanna try again?"

Cassiah nodded wordlessly, so Ron repeated his actions. She inhaled a decent-sized hit, and Ron smiled down at her,

"Atta girl," he said proudly, "Took it like a champ."

Cassiah smiled at him as she exhaled, and coughed loudly.

She'd taken one or two more hits, and then Ron had finished off the bowl himself. Sitting on the bed next to him, Cassiah just looked for beautiful. She always looked so beautiful. He couldn't resist and leaned over to kiss her hungrily, and she giggled as the kiss made her head spin.

"Do you feel good?" he asked after a few minutes of heated kissing.

She nodded shyly and responded a quiet, "Yes. Very good," a continued kissing him. And if that wasn't some of the best sex of Ron's life, he'd be damned.

The sound of Cassiah coughing barely audibly shook Ron out of his stupor. He handed him a glass of water he had sitting by his bed.

His friend, Cassiah.

He never thought he'd be calling her that again. It was a bit of a disappointment. He'd thought for sure for a moment that she was going to ask to start things over, but he loved her so much that he couldn't turn down an offer to have her in his life. At least if they were friends he couldn't keep hurting her.

_____________________

Hey guys! I'm sorry it's been so long but hopefully this 4000 word monster makes up for it a bit. Sometimes this book is hard to write because I'm kind of using it as an outlet for some things that happened in my own previous relationship. yikes!

Finally, a break from the angst and some happiness! :)

I hope there's not too many typos. My mental health said absolutely not to any proofreading tonight. I'm terribly sorry if this is a mess.

i love you all so much. i hope you loved this chapter. i can't wait for you guys to see what comes next <3 <3 xx tag list: @theamazingspideraj @girl22334 @mariellelovescupcakes @lateautumn

Published on my Wattpad (halebscallison) and my Tumblr (theweasleyslytherin).

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years

Note

Hello yes, could you elaborate on the Comte wedding event pleease. Crying and fangirling and dying are all acceptable. I missed it and I adore your rambles about Comte? Thank you either way.

!!! I’d be delighted to!! And awww, I’m so glad :D I love to write about him in any capacity, it makes me so happy to know people enjoy it when I do! Tysm for the full license to cry/fangirl/die because lbr it ain’t a Comte event if all three of those things don’t happen .Please don’t worry, I don’t mind talking abt it anyway! 💕💕💕

Okay my fellow Comte stans, you know the drill! I’ll be placing the details of the Wedding Story Event (jpn version) below the cut! Please don’t read if you want to wait for the official translation, and I hope you enjoy if you do take a peak! c:

AIGHT Y’ALL in fair Verona where we lay our scene-- This event begins on a lovely summer day with Comte and MC at a boutique picking out a wedding dress for their upcoming ceremony. As usual, she provides a bit of background as to how we got here. Comte doesn’t have a proposal event (as far as I know) like the other suitors because he actually proposes marriage in his MS. I won’t go too far into details just in case, but they essentially swear their love to each other in a church at night--just the two of them. (I’m not 100% sure, but I think this event takes place on the anniversary of the vow that they shared, what Comte called becoming “a vampire’s bride.” Yes it’s as hot as it sounds AND I LOVED IT). Now, despite their private promise to each other, Comte does specify that he fully intends to have a public wedding whenever she feels comfortable doing that. As such, this event is picking up from there.

With all the nitty gritty settled, it’s time to get to the fun bits. So Comte is weaving in and out of the dresses, trying to find the perfect one for his beloved. MC is equal parts exasperated but amused, and she notes that it reminds her so much of when she first debuted in high society (reference to the beginning of Comte’s MS). Back then, when she agreed to debut, he told her that he would immediately send word to his tailor to make the necessary preparations. It’s a kind of nostalgic moment; she remembers how thorough and excited he was (”I’ll be sure to show off your every charm”), and he’s effusing that energy in the boutique too. Eventually he settles on two of them and requests that they both be prepared, and MC sputters. She’s like Comte???? W H Y we only need one dress???? And he insists that, since it’s a special occasion, there’s no harm in it is there? He also goes on to say that it is in line with her culture’s tradition of “dyeing the bride in the husband’s colors.” MC shoots back that the tradition doesn’t entail several wedding dresses for the bride, but he pays the correction no mind. Y’all. I loved this part because it just emphasizes how much of a LIL SHIT he can be. Like he’s 100% harmless but I was like BOI IF U DON’T--I WILL KISS UR CUTE FACE. YOU STOP THAT.

I find it interesting especially because it remains in line with a trend about Comte that is so arresting for me, something that I find so endearing about him. I’ll note other places in the event I find it, but in this moment he is revealing something critical: for all of his capacity to play with the language and expectations that other people have/use, he only ever uses it for good. Here he’s purely being playful (with a stark note of respect and awareness); he has no intention of overwhelming her or undermining her cultural expectations of what a wedding means. Especially because MC, even in her monologue, isn’t truly upset--she honestly seems to find it adorable and funny more than anything. It’s also clear that Comte is working within her comfort zones. While he would buy the entire damn boutique if she let him, he settles on two because he knows it would stress her out otherwise (MC tends to be p pragmatic, not really about extravagance she is a mood).

And so they make their selection and exit the boutique, and they’re walking arm in arm back to the carriage. Comte laments narrowing it down to only two, but he’s happy they found something nice. MC thanks him for bringing her along, but he says it’s only natural--he wanted to pick out the dress the world would see together, he would never be happy with it otherwise. MC melts (WHO WOULDN’T) and says she’s really looking forward to wearing them, and he’s shook AF.

(OKAY BUT I NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT THIS. DOES HE UNDERSTAND HOW TOUCHED I AM. DOES HE KNOW. His route hammers home this idea that for Comte, being with someone absolutely means being on the same page. It means being there for each other yes--but it also means making sure the other person feels wanted and included. He could have so easily just picked his favorite and been like “yeah this is what we’re going with.” But not only does he not do that, he refuses the very idea of a ceremony without it. He wants this to mean something for both of them, and he’s more than willing to put in the time and effort to ascertain that. I’M FUCKING TENDER OKAY. HE CARES SO MUCH AND I SOB)

He asks her if there’s anything else that she really, really wants for their wedding, and she thinks it through. It’ll be a reasonably sized wedding, with the men of the mansion in attendance and most of their closer high society friends. They’ve picked out a dress, the venue is set, the people closest to her will be there...she really can’t think of anything else? So she asks him if he has anything he really wants to do for the wedding, and he replies in the negative too, saying that “My only ideal wedding can be one in which I can see you at your most happy." ARE YOU KIDDING ME--Before MC can recover from that, he goes on: "Even now, I'm enjoying the preparations, and I want to do whatever I can for you." MC feels like she can never win against his sweet affection, so she nearly kills him with her answering line: "It’s more than enough. More than anything, being able to swear our love together again--to renew our vow--is the best part of it all." Comte is visibly shocked and is quiet for moment (MAN DOWN!!!!!!!!! VAMPIRE DOWN GET THE DEFIBRILATORS!!!!! LEONARDO PUT THAT LIGHTNING ROD AWAY I SWEAR TO GOD--) before he just replies with a “Is that so :>>>” And translating this nearly killed me [At the sight of his gentle smile, I smile back.] IM GOING TO SCREAM THEY ARE JUST SO TENDER IM SOFTE????????????

As they’re walking, Comte asks MC to tell him about weddings in her time. What were they like? He wants a reference point. She goes on to describe how ceremonies really range from formal to more informal affairs, and gets to a little custom that’s apparently held in Japan. When a groom intends to marry a bride, he will go to the bride’s family to ask for their approval. Comte visibly seems concerned about it, and I’m pretty sure he feels bad denying her that experience; not only did he propose to her without knowing any of that, her family isn’t within range to be able to honor it properly now. Even so, he keeps listening and comments now and again with a great deal of interest, paying close attention. He asks, what happens if the groom is rejected by the family? MC goes on to say that it’s a kind of test of perseverance: the groom is expected to ask/prove himself until he gets an answer in the affirmative. Internally, she notes that such a thing rarely ever happens irl--it’s mostly dramatized in movies and TV shows. She used to dream of how thrilling it might be to have someone do that for her, but it was mostly just a silly little fancy, nothing she was obsessed over. Comte, being a literal fucking legend, senses this emotional shift in milliseconds, and starts musing about something. When she tries to ask what’s up, he’s like not to worry leave everything to me.

PLEASE CUE THE CIRCUS MUSIC. BECAUSE THIS IS ABSOLUTELY GOING TO TURN INTO A CLOWN FEST.

So it cuts to them back home and Comte is asking Sebastian to give MC’s hand in marriage. Sebastian is utterly bEWILDERED and is like “I mean I understand I’m probably the closest relative she has right now but also WHAT!? YOU’RE MY BOSS/LORD I’M YOUR BUTLER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD”. Comte 100% is undaunted by this very normal reaction and insists that class/status has no place in matters like this, and Sebastian and MC are desperately trying to stop him from bowing his head/kneeling. MC notes she never expected him to take it to heart, tells him "Comte, you really don't have to go that far, it's a custom not a duty--" (IT’S SO FUCKING FUNNY????? YOU CAN FEEL THEIR MOUNTING CONCERN AND I CAN’T BELIEVE COMTE WAS STRAIGHT UP JUST “i am not above begging” AND THEY’RE LIKE YOU SHOULD BE YOU SHOULD BE ABOVE BEGGING)

The circus only escalates when Leo comes in LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF "damn...bahahahhahahaaaaa now THIS oughtta be good/interesting." MC (and I simultaneously) start yelling at him and he replies "What? Comte's already ready and willing, why stop him?" For whatever reason, this gives Comte an idea (NEVER A GOOD SIGN) and he’s like you know what? That’s actually perfect, get everybody in here I’m gonna ask them for permission too :D

Several things I want to say about this. 1. COMTE LITERALLY DOES NOT EVEN REACT TO LEO’S MOCKING HE JUST “omg ur face was useful for smth for once this gives me an idea” 2. META TIME. First and foremost, I seriously can’t deal. This man knows MC has nothing because of her traveling through time, no friends or family--he’s always so, so aware of what she’s sacrificing to be with him. It is never outside of his thinking. Not only does this decision solidify her presence as a member of their family (I’m just so UGLY SOBBING about the fact that he does not consider them all ANYTHING LESS--THEY ARE HIS CHIRREN AND HE LOVES THEM AND I’M SOFT) this is also such a brilliant, strategic move on his part. Not only is he doing this to fulfill her younger wishes of having someone be so confident in their love for her that they would insist on it in front of her family/loved ones--his doing this also solidifies her presence as his wife within the mansion from here on. There can be no mistake; this is an unquestionable statement as to how her identity has shifted in meaning, a powerful allusion to his possessive streak. (and WE LOVE THAT FOR US HELL YEAH)

Furthermore, I continue to be fascinated by the way he keeps subverting traditional or expected forms of supplication. While many could see this as a yielding of his pride (and in some ways he undeniably is) this choice to acknowledge her culture’s customs yields much more valuable dividends for him. 1. MC--notorious for never betraying the things she wants, having trouble asking for anything--is have her dreams fulfilled even if they were just silly little fantasies from when she was young. He’s actively making her happy, and he gets to openly gush about how much he loves her (FOR HIM THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF A WIN-WIN YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND--) 2. This is a way for him to make amends and do proper respect to the marriage customs of her place/time, and that’s infinitely important to him. He’s trying to set a precedent; that even if he ever does make a mistake or neglect something (even if accidental) he will do his utmost to make it right, pride and money be DAMNED.

While it can be argued that he’s just being silly and over-the-top, when you look closely this is 100% a clever, very mindful approach to their future. While it may partially have been executed on an emotional/excited whim, he is also claiming MC as his own in the most clear and respectful way possible. And tbh that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen

So, after Leo walks in on them everyone else starts filing in one at a time (OKAY YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME THAT THEY WEREN’T ALL HUDDLED UP TO THE DOOR SQUIRMING TO HEAR WHAT WAS GOING ON AND AT SOME POINT LEO SAID “omfg i gotta see this dumbass bitch on his knees” AND BLEW THEIR COVER/MADE THEM EVEN MORE CURIOUS):

Jeanne: "It's so noisy in here."

Mozart: "What's going on?"

Comte: "Ah, excellent timing. I want to get permission from everyone."

Vincent: "?????? Did you do something wrong Comte?? What could you possibly need forgiveness for?"

Isaac: "A mistake made/wrongdoing by Comte?...Why am I dreading what it could be..."

Dazai: “Ah yes, yes I see, you are asking for a young lady's hand in marriage” (IM WHEEZING BC EVERYONE ELSE IS SO LOST AND HE'S JUST 100% ON THE BALL KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON THE NARRATIVE DISSONANCE IM CRYING)

Theo: Young lady??? The hell are you going on about

So things are getting increasingly chaotic and MC is just [jfc this is getting out of hand, Comte they don’t even know what you’re asking them to do]. She tries to explain but falters, and Comte puts an arm around her--signals that he’ll give them the context. So he tells them "You all know that our wedding day is approaching. As such, I'm asking you all for your approval in taking MC as my bride. No matter what happens, I promise to make her happy forever--for every moment, every second of our time together. Please, forgive my taking her" (WHEN I TELL YOU MY HEAD WAS IN MY HANDS IDK HOW MC DIDN’T DIE ON THE SPOT S I R. SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) MC: [...Comte...My heart melts at his confession, at his earnest plea. It feels like every single iota of our feelings are infused in every word he speaks, teeming with the love shared between us in overwhelming measure.]

For a little while silence falls until Napoleon speaks up, and honestly? It was so sweet ;-; I tear up every single time: “Forgiven. You know how much I dislike formalities anyway. And besides, who could say no to le Comte?” MC notes that everyone murmurs in agreement and a kind of warmth settles in the room. Arthur notes that MC will be a Comtesse very soon and MC just. I’m going to be a WHAT now (”C-c-comtesse??”). And it’s so FUCKING FUNNY YOU CAN FEEL THE RED EYE EDIT MEME ON COMTE WHEN HE GOES “Oh? Is there anything wrong with that? Everybody said yes, after all :>” MC internally accuses them of ganging up on her, but reveals that more than anything she’s a little overwhelmed by the outpouring of love in the best way:

MC: [Overwhelmed with feeling; touched, a little shy, embarrassed, but also full of joy--my eyes burn at the edges with tears] “I'm glad everyone approves c:”

Comte: Agreed :> your country/homeland has a nice custom. A v important step to inviting my loved one into my life as my wife :>>>>

So it then cuts to them in Comte’s room after the circus and MC thanks him for the sweet confession in front of everyone, tells him how happy it made her. He insists that it was only natural he would, and that it isn’t even enough.

Comte: “I am the one...your life, your time as a human being; I'll be taking all of it from you.”

MC: [...Comte? He took my hand with a very serious expression]

Comte: "As I said before, I will make you a vampire someday."

MC: “Don't call it that--a price. I want to live with you too!”

MC notes that while she hasn’t made the leap yet, she knows she’ll be ready for it soon enough.

Comte: “Thank you. But the last thing I want is to take things from you, I want to do everything I can to make you happy, to make you smile. Whether that means weddings, requests--anything in my power.”

COMTE REALLY SAID "she is entrusting me with her future and that means I have the responsibility of not only ascertaining her happiness, but proving my unwavering devotion to it" AND IM HOLLERING????? LADIES GET YOU A FUCKING MANS. MC finally begins to understand this, and she’s like OMFG is that why you went off so hard this afternoon???? And Comte’s like :>>>> guilty as charged, though I think I'm also just still excited about the wedding too, haha! They hug it out (YESSSSSSS LET ME H O L D) and MC asks him again if there’s anything he wants for the wedding too. Aight y’all I would be irresponsible if I didn’t warn you beforehand, get fucking tissues. I’m still upset abt his answer and I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL. He thinks about it for a bit, before kissing her forehead and saying “I suppose, can you pray for my happiness too? That's enough."

AIGHT IMMA GO BACK TO THE EVENT IN A SECOND BUT I GOTTA SAY. BITCH. BITCH ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????? COMTE THAT ISN’T OPTIONAL THAT’S A GOD DAMN PREREQUISITE?????????????????? OFC WE WISH FOR YOUR HAPPINESS WHAT THE FUCK??????????????? THE A U D A C I T Y. I’VE NEVER BEEN MORE INSULTED IN ALL MY LIFE. OKAY RANT OVER.

MC is surprised but naturally agrees to it, having wanted that for him even without prompting. She continues to think on it, insisting that she wants to do something for him too. An idea sparks but it only says that she made preparations without telling him anything for now, preparing a tangible sign of her love for the wedding.

The premium end begin here. She’s getting dressed for the wedding, and she’s--as usual--in awe of his perfect selection of accessories/jewelry to go with the gown. She’s about to put on her shoes when she notices something odd, and there’s a knock at the door. Comte enters to ask if she’s ready, and they both freeze and stare at each other. They both sheepishly admit to being completely taken with the sight of the other, and they laugh about it together. Comte tries to ask if she’s ready again, and she assures him that she is--just that she found something unexpected in her shoes.

He explains that the coin is an English six pence. Sebastian told him that they are no longer made in her time, and Comte explains he acquired it about three hundred years ago in England when he was living there (he says that he kept it back then because he liked the design on it). He explains that there is a tradition, that the English would put a six pence in a bride’s left shoe in the hopes of wishing her good fortune and prosperity in her oncoming union. MC has her understandable and customary (JESUS I FORGET HOW OLD THIS MAN IS SOMETIMES) and he places a hand over hers that’s holding the coin when she starts staring at it.

Comte: "Hey, MC....Time goes by, and various things will continue to change. Among them, it is only vampires who survive without dying or changing."

MC: "Comte..."

Comte: "I used to think that made it--made us--empty. But...I don't think that's the case anymore. I'm proud of being able to keep this undying, unchanging love for you."

[He put the coin back in my left shoe, and offered them to me--gentle as though they were made of glass(Cinderella's)]

MC spends this exchange on the verge of tears, but keeps it together for the wedding. It depicts their loved ones all around them as they walk down the aisle, and skips to the end of the ceremony. The priest tells Comte he may now kiss the bride (WHEN I WAS TRANSLATING IT SAID “KISS YOUR BUSINESS” AND WHEN I TELL YOU I WHEEZED), but just as he’s about to lift her veil--she stops him in his tracks. He’s confused, and says her name, but she reassures him that she just wants to offer him a wedding gift before he lifts it. Hidden in her bouquet are two pins that she had made, and she pins them to his jacket. They were made from preserved flowers, encased in metal to render them undying/everlasting.

MC: [Me too...I want to wish for your happiness...]

MC: “For you, things might feel fleeting--like they just pass you by, are lost before you can grasp them. But even so, my feelings won't change; just like this preserved/undying flower and the life of a vampire--dedicated to [Comte's real name] in everlasting love."

COMTE.EXE HAS CURRENTLY SHUTDOWN. REBOOTING.

MC notes that his eyes get misty and he leans his forehead against hers.

MC: [Comte's real name]?

Comte: .................I want to hug you as tight as I possibly can, but I'd hate to ruin the flowers/your gift to me

BITCH WHEN I TELL YOU I SOBBED. WHEN I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1. I CANT GET OVER THE FACT THAT HER GIFT IS NOT ONLY CANON BUT ITS LITERALLY ON HIS WEDDING SPRITE, HER LOVE IS A VISIBLE MANIFESTATION ON HIS PERSON ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2. THE FACT THAT SHE ONLY ADMITS TO BEING THE HAPPIEST SHE CAN BE WHEN SHE SEES HIM SO HAPPY TOO. THIS IS SO MUCH. SO M U C H

And so Comte lifts her veil and kisses her gently uwu cover ur eyes chirren, the hall erupts in raucous applause and the crowd starts congratulating them!! Comte then encourages everyone to have fun, and the reception takes on the vibe of a kind of social gathering. MC notes that he seems to prefer this level of interaction, just relaxed and everyone chill, and she turns to tell him that it seems like it’ll be fun! Before she can finish her sentence, he kisses her fiercely before leaning back with a sigh, "It's still not enough, but I'll save the rest for later tonight." BITCH!!?!?!??!??!? HOW THE FUCK CAN ANYONE FOCUS ON A STUPID PARTY WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT, HELLO???????MC notes: [Everyone from the mansion that saw the kiss made fun of me endlessly, and I hid my face in my bouquet] SAVE HER. Once again, it skips to the end of the reception and they’re now in Comte’s room. (I will blink twice if I think you need tissues BLINKS TWICE)

Comte: "Yup, perfect." [He places the flower pins I gave him next to THE hourglass in the room, looking pleased HNGNNGNGNNGGNGN MY EYE HOLES ARE SUFFERING

MC: "I'm glad you liked the gift c:"

Comte: "It is proof of your unchanging love, of course I cherish it :>"

She’s just so happy to see him so delighted with it. He asks how she liked the ceremony, and she gushes about how much she loved it. He hugs her (AWWWWWWWWWWWW) and then he notes that while it was fun to celebrate, all he wants now is time with his wife (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA). He starts kissing her like the world is ending, and she says she needs to get changed--but he doesn’t care, says she’s fine as she is and that he wants her right now.

Aight usually I don’t get into epilogue territory, but honestly, this shit was JUST too good. Now this man made of magic asks MC if she’s wearing her bridal garter (you know, the one that usually comes with the whole bride ensemble in Western tradition). And she’s like ???? Uh, yeah, of course? Why... He says that he saw something interesting at a friend’s wedding reception once upon a time, and explains that the garter is usually removed and thrown to the bachelors (analogous to the bride’s throwing her bouquet, and whoever catches it will be the next to get married). PLEASE NOTE HE IS KISSING HER FOR LIKE 90% OF THIS IT’S AMAZING

MC: "So it's like the bouquet toss?"

Comte: "Yes. Now then, how did he remove the garter...?”

HE DUCKS DOWN AND SHE’S LIKE COMTE!?!?

Comte: “...Ah yes, the groom removes it with his teeth >:D”

And so this man HAS THE TIME OF HIS LIFE tugging it down slowly under her dress, caressing her legs and loving every part of her. MC’s face is on fire, and she’s torn between being turned on and embarrassed. Eventually he reappears after teasing her MERCILESSLY and admits that he didn’t do it at the reception because he didn’t want anyone else to see her reaction. Blushing, shy, desirous--all of these feelings are his to keep and enjoy. (I!!!!! LOVE!!!!!!!!!! HOW SUBTLY POSSESSIVE HE IS AAAAAAAAAA) MC notes internally that she feels the same way about him, how he only shows this intensely passionate side to her. Comte is uncharacteristically impatient and frenzied that night, and they both go at it.

It skips to midnight where the two are cuddling in the aftermath, just being cute and happy. Comte, the absolute MADLAD is already thinking about how to celebrate next year--and she just giggles at him (he’s a wackadoo but he’s her wackadoo LMFAO MOOD) and he laughs with her. They essentially swear to promise their love over and over in the future, and it just ends on that wholesome note :>>>

Also can I just. The fact that he lived for so long alone, but was always, always paying attention to all of these little things that are done with a person’s loved one ;-; that he would remember his friend doing that at his wedding and be like BROOOOO I WANNA DO THAT IF I EVER GET MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!! I just. It’s so heartbreaking and touching at the same time, I just want to hold him forever ;-; the fact that he doesn’t seem to worry as much about his own happiness, seems absolutely floored that MC would do anything in return. I JUST LOVE HIM WITH EVERYTHING INSIDE OF ME

THIS IS WHAT PEAK PERFORMANCE LOOKS LIKE

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp spoilers #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp wedding event #NOW I CAN REST IN PIECES O-<--<#today on: reasons why i would die for comte no.347 #will i ever stop? no #do i have a problem? probably #but i have a tumblr account and the ability to write and i am making that everyone else's problem fdkjlhgfdjkh #but i hope you enjoyed my rambles!!!#you're always welcome here friend! :D #tho yall story time #when he asked abt the garter i started SCREECHING bc i knew EXACTLY where it was going #in middle school i saw a guy do it once at a wedding but i didnt know what the sex^TM was so i didnt think anything of it #i was like haha weird wedding tradition go brrrr why is everyone whistling #and when i was reading i just immediately was sent back and i was like OMFG HE'S GONNA DO IT ISN'T HE THE WILD MAN #but honestly i cant get over how romantic comte is #he has no necessity to enact all these little rituals--i dont really know if he even believes in any kind of religion at all #(i dont think he does honestly but he never speaks to it directly)#but the thought of sharing that with her #of doing those things to make her happy and express his feelings #it makes me so very softe #i dont even believe in all of those wonderful things and yet he makes me want to humor that kind of belief #also idk why the cuts arent working properly on the tumbles i apologize in advance im trying to figure out why

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kirishibi · 4 years

Text

Nights Like These | Kirishima Ejirou

Summary: You’re having a rough night struggling with your anxiety and your long time crush, Kirishima, helps you through it

Pairing: Kirishima Ejirou x Reader

Warnings: pretty vivid and possibly triggering descriptions of the physical symptoms and racing thoughts that come with an anxiety attack, non-established relationship, pining, lots of Kiri comfort, so much fluff, very very mild cursing, spoilers abt Kirishima’s backstory, (y/n)’s pretty shy in this one oops

**this fic has a lottt of comfort and fluff in it after the first quarter, but if descriptions of anxiety are triggering for you please read with caution and skip over bits if needed**

Word Count: 2.8k

a/n: chef actually writing for once??? unheard of. anyway, i was struggling really hard this week, so i wrote some kiri comfort because who doesn’t want this sweet boi to hold ur hand and tell you everything’s gonna be okay when it feels like the world’s falling apart.i legit wrote this while crying bruv if any one of my fics is a window to my soul its this one

It began with that all-too-familiar pit of dread in your stomach, an uncomfortable rush of adrenaline in your upper chest that you desperately tried to force away. Trembling fingertips, wobbling knees, the sudden urge to crawl out of your own skin. All you did was get tongue-tied while chatting with Bakugou and a few of his friends, but your fumbled words wouldn’t stop echoing through your skull, the angry blond’s mocking gaze replaying over and over again in your mind.

You barely made it to your dorm before shards of your shattered confidence gathered to form a lump in your throat, and tears stung at the corners of your eyes. You threw open the door to your room, hastily swung it shut as you entered. As heavy wood slammed into its frame, a jarring bang echoed throughout the hallway outside. You physically cringed, brows knitting together and nose scrunching in disgust at your own actions.

Damn it, you thought to yourself, everyone heard that, and now they’re all pissed at you.

This happened more times than you could count: one minor mistake drudged up what seemed like hundreds of embarrassing memories from your past, and in a matter of minutes you knew you’d wind up a sobbing mess on your bedroom floor, gasping for air, convinced that the only thing you’re truly good at is being a burden.

There was a dam inside your mind; one that held all of your regrets, self-loathing thoughts, and most embarrassing memories. The multitude of cracks in its foundation threatened to give with every little thing you deemed a screw-up, and in that moment, the dam broke.

A half-complete exam sat before you. Your left leg nervously bounced beneath your desk as a pencil twirled between the nimble fingers of your dominant hand. The eraser of your pencil caught on the surface of your desk mid-twirl, causing the utensil to fling from your grasp. It arched through the air and thumped the boy seated in front of you, Ojiro, right between his shoulder blades. No amount of rambled apologies from you, nor sincere ’it’s okay!’s from the kind-hearted blond could stop that moment from searing itself into your memory. Just another reason you should never leave your room again.

Sinking into an unmade bed, you pulled your knees up to your chest. Feeble arms hugged your legs tightly as you desperately tried to shake the unpleasant thoughts from your own brain. “No,” you pleaded with yourself, “no, (Y/n), you’re not doing this again.” Fingernails dug into soft flesh beneath your school uniform’s knee-high socks, a momentary distraction from the sheer panic swelling inside your chest. Forehead pressed against bent knees, you hoped that if you made yourself small enough, maybe you could disappear entirely.

Accidentally interrupting someone during a conversation, tripping over your own feet while walking down the hall, getting anxious speaking to your redheaded crush and forgetting what you wanted to say altogether.

You couldn’t help but gasp for air, the angry burning of your lungs only worsening with every shallow breath as hot tears trailed down the sides of your face. There was no stopping the sobs that pushed past your lips, nor the self loathing thoughts that racked your brain. You pressed your back firmly against the cool drywall beside your bed with the vain hope that the sudden chill may keep you grounded.

Nearly spitting out your tea as Kaminari cracked a joke during lunch, not realizing you took someone else’s seat in the common room, bumping into an elderly woman on the train, dropping a handful of textbooks in front of your entire class.

A knock on the door momentarily pulled you from what seemed to be an inescapable frenzy of thoughts. You stumbled to your feet, stole a glance in the mirror beside your bed. Reluctant to allow someone else to see your puffy, red eyes and tear-stained cheeks, you forced yourself to speak up, “uh- uhm,” your voice wavered with every word, but you cleared your throat and continued on, “I-I’m sorry, now isn’t really a good time.”

“Aw,” a familiar voice pouted from the other side, muffled by the wall between you, “well, think ya could let me in anyway?” It was Kirishima, the guy you’d been head-over-heels for since the beginning of your freshman year.

You refused to let him see you so disheveled, couldn’t bear the thought of willingly adding another embarrassing moment to your catalogue of painful memories.

“I’m sorry, I- well,” you wanted to lie, to make up an excuse as to why you couldn’t answer the door, but nothing came to mind. “I just can’t talk right now. Do you need something?”

“Yep! It’s really urgent, can’t wait another second!” He eagerly pleaded, and you just couldn’t find the will to say no.

Hastily drying your wet face with creased sleeves and fixing your hair to the best of your ability, you made your way to the door and cautiously inched it open.

The crimson haired boy stood before you with a box of your favorite candy in his hands and a warm smile on his face. His brows were knit together in concern, tender eyes wholly trained on you. He glanced both ways down the vacant hallway to ensure that no one was within earshot before speaking in a hushed tone, “you didn’t seem like yourself in class today. Like, you were quieter than usual, and then Bakugou was a bit of an ass earlier...“ He nodded to the cardboard container in his hands, “I’ve seen you eat this before and it always seems to put a smile on your face, so I thought maybe it could do the same today too.” His grin faltered for a moment, gaze dropping to the floor as if embarrassed by his own words. “It’s stupid, I know, but I had to do somethin’!”

Despite your best efforts, the happy facade you’d forced on for Kirishima fell, and your eyes welled with tears once again. Your bottom lip trembled as you tried to swallow the lump crawling up your throat. His gaze shifted from the floor, back up to meet yours, and he nearly dropped the container in his hands at the sight of you so close to crying.

Without a second thought, he threw his arms around your shoulders in a tight hug, “What’s wrong, (Y/n)?” His voice filled with worry, further breaking your heart, “Did I get the wrong kind of candy?”

“N-no,” you whimpered into his shoulder, unable to finish before the words caught in your mouth and tears wet the thin cotton of his shirt . Your arms wrapped around his waist, unconsciously reciprocating his hug. His warmth reminded you of just how long it had been since you’d let someone be so close. Your knees buckled under the weight of your own grief, and before you knew it, Kirishima was scooping you up into his strong arms. He carried you to the comfort of your bed, kicking the door closed as he passed.

“I knew you weren’t okay,” he muttered into your ear, tone much softer than you were used to from the boisterous man. He carefully set you down on your plush mattress, grabbed the nearest blanket and wrapped it around your shoulders, then knelt on the floor before you.

“I’m f-fine,” you forced out, trying to steady your voice but failing horribly, “You can go if you wa-want. I don't want to-”

Kirishima silenced you with a tender palm rested atop your own. “I’m not leaving you, (Y/n). Whatever’s going on, I care about you too much to make you deal with it alone.”

Up until then, you had made it a point to keep your anxiety hidden from your peers. You worried that they would treat you differently if they knew, that they wouldn’t quite understand. But, something about Kirishima told you that he was different, that nothing would change if you opened up to him. Regardless of your fears, the look in his eyes and tender cadence of his voice made you feel safe, like it was okay to be vulnerable.

“I,” your eyes flicked from your lap to meet his worried gaze, “I can’t help but remember everything I’ve done wrong over the years and just hate myself. I hate every mistake, every failure, every moment I did something dumb and didn’t know how to fix it.” Your stomach clenched as yet another sob forced its way past your lips. “I have so many regrets, and I constantly feel like an awful person because of them.”

A calloused thumb brushed along your upper cheek, wiping away the tracks of fallen tears. He nodded along as you vented, as if he understood exactly where you were coming from. Then, when you went silent, he waited for a few beats to ensure you were entirely finished speaking before responding. “I’m sure it doesn’t seem like it, but I used to be someone I’m not proud of either, and, honestly? Sometimes I still don’t like the person I see in the mirror.” He paused for a moment, lips pulled in a thin, contemplative line before continuing, “can you keep a secret?”

You nodded, surprised and mildly confused by his words. Could someone as confident and lovable as Kirishima really struggle with the same anxieties that you did?

He chuckled at the quizzical look you gave him, took a deep breath to steady his own nerves. “So, I actually didn’t look like this back in middle school -- hold up, I think I actually have a picture.” Five fingers flexed around your own, holding you close as his free hand fished into his pants pocket and pulled out a red-cased phone. Within a few seconds, ruby eyes were locked with your own once again, a shy smile pulling at the corners of his lips. “Promise not to laugh?”

The redhead’s grin was infectious, and you couldn’t help but smile with him. Your worries hadn’t been entirely forgotten, but with every word spoken between you, every passing second with his fingers entwined with your own, a subtle calm began to wash over you. “I’ll try not to,” you responded. That seemed good enough for him, and with only a short moment of hesitation, Kirishima turned the phone’s screen toward you to reveal a photo of himself from a few years before.

Long, black hair framed a round face, slender shoulders slumped and eyes downcast as he stood alone in the courtyard of what you assumed to be his old middle school. Your head cocked to the side, brows furrowed in disbelief as you looked from the photo to the person in front of you. For a moment, you thought he must have been kidding. The muscular, seemingly self-assured man that knelt before you didn’t resemble the boy on his phone in the slightest. “You’re serious? That was you?”

He nodded, clearly amused by your reaction. You wanted to ask what changed, how he pulled such a total one-eighty, but couldn’t find a way to without sounding rude.

He seemed to read your mind, though, and answered your question without hesitation. “I realized that I didn’t like the person I was, and vowed to be better.” He powered off the device in his hand and tossed it aside, attention entirely back to you, thumb unconsciously caressing the back of your hand as he continued. “I’m not telling you this because I think you need to change. Frankly,” his eyes darted to the floor, voice lowering nearly to a whisper, “I, uh, I really like the person you are now.” He cleared his throat, a pink tinge dusting his cheeks as his gaze flicked back up to meet yours. “I’m telling you this because, like I said before, I’m like you in a way. I can’t help but cringe when I remember the way I used to be, and I still worry sometimes that I haven’t actually changed that much.”

“But you have. I mean, you’re a completely different person now.”

“Exactly. Here’s what I’ve learned: if you cringe at something you did in the past, that’s probably because you’ve matured enough to know you were being dumb back then. Being able to look at your past self and recognize your mistakes means you aren’t that person anymore.” His other hand moved to rest atop your knee, as if he wanted to hold you closer but found himself hesitant.

You felt a weight lift from your shoulders at his words, yet still one question continued to gnaw at the back of your mind. “But, what if I’m beating myself up something I did recently… like,” your voice lowered in embarrassment, “when I a-accidentally threw that pencil at Ojiro, for example…”

“I promise, you’re the only one who even remembers that.” Kirishima chuckled softly, “you’re sweet for worrying about those little things, but no one worth knowing is gonna judge you off small mistakes. I know how great you are, and so does everyone else in our class. You light up every room you walk into, I swear. It’s like you’ve got a second quirk or somethin’.” You giggled, and his smile only grew wider. “I mean it! How could anyone not fall in love with that laugh?” The boy’s face turned bright red, eyes widening in realization at what he had said, grip tightening around your own. “Shit, I mean- well-” he cut himself off, sharp teeth nervously nibbling on his bottom lip.

His words resonated with you, filled the anxious pit in your stomach with warm butterflies and heated your cheeks with a rosey blush. Still, you convinced yourself he was only embarrassed because his words had come out in a different way than he had meant them. There was no way he actually had feelings for you, you thought. He was clearly just being nice. “I-It’s okay, I know you don’t like me like that. You’re way out of my league, anyway.” You forced a nervous laugh, attempting to comfort him through words that burned as they passed your lips.

You thought he’d relax at what you had said, agree with your comment, and thank you for understanding. Instead, he rose to his feet, a look of bewilderment in his eyes as he pulled you up to stand with him. “Do you really think that?” He questioned, expression twisted in disbelief, hurt by your self-deprecating words. His hands gripped yours tightly as you stood only inches from one another. Heat radiated off of his tan skin, shielding you from the chilly air of your room and prickling your arms with goosebumps.

“Sorry to break it to ya, but you couldn’t be more wrong.” Kirishima lightly tugged you closer, closed the distance between your bodies without a second thought. You allowed your chest to press against his, listening carefully as he continued, “I was afraid of making you uncomfortable or scaring you off, so I didn’t say anything before. But, if that’s really what you think, I’ve gotta set you straight. Truth is, I’m absolutely crazy for you, (Y/n). I mean, you’re cute, and sweet, and witty -- It’s impossible to take my eyes off of you whenever we’re in a room together, and just hearing your voice makes me feel warm all over.”

Calloused fingers released one of your hands, traveled up to caress a now-dry cheek. He cracked another sharp-toothed grin at the realization that you were no longer crying. “Can you do me a favor and tell me next time you start to feel all anxious and stuff again? Regardless of if you like me back, I just want to be there for you, whatever you need. It’s not very manly to fall for a girl, then leave her hangin’ when she needs ya the most.”

An eager nod in agreement was all you could manage for a long moment as you stood entirely awestruck by his confession. All you wanted was to find your voice, to tell him how much his efforts meant to you, but the words refused to come.

So, you did the next best thing.

The box of candies he had brought as a pick-me-up laid forgotten on your bed as tentative fingers gripped Kirishima’s broad shoulders and you rose onto your tiptoes. Without allowing yourself time for hesitation, you pressed pursed lips to a flushed-pink cheek. It wasn’t a large gesture, but in that moment it felt perfect.

You’d never seen Ejirou smile as wide as he did in that moment, strong hands firmly gripping your waist as you pulled away -- as if to make sure that you wouldn’t stray too far from his grasp. “That settles it then! Tomorrow I’m asking you out properly -- with flowers, and chocolates, and way more than just one box of your favorite sweets… but you gotta promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“That we’ll take care of one another. I’ll never judge you, hurt you, or belittle whatever you’re struggling with, as long as you promise the same to me, okay? From now on ‘til the end of time, I’ve got your back unconditionally, and you’ve got mine. Promise?”

“Promise.”

#kirishima ejirou #no beta we die like men #kirishima #kirishima bnha #kirishima fluff #kirishima x reader #ejirou kirishima x reader #hurt/comfort #anxiety help #kiri writes #trigger warning: anxiety #fluff #bnha fluff #kiri gives good advice from my therapist #anyway #pls forgive me if this isnt that good #its been months since ive written a full fic #lub u be good to urself #its 4 am forgive me for typos and goodnight

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