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chezhermione · 3 years

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The Parable of the Orange Mask

I’ve got a story I wanna tell today. It’s a simple story. One might even call it “corny.” It’s not unlike an After School Special (for those old enough to remember those) or a sentimental Hallmark moment, complete with cute kids saying the darndest things. It’s a story with a lesson, a moral, if you will. If you want to get biblical about it, a non-fiction parable that really happened in real time (minus Jesus, insert me).

Let’s begin with the characters: first, there is Grasshopper. A five year old boy full of life’s q’s & a’s and undeniable common sense. This is the child who at Christmas told several of his peers, “Santa is a story grown ups tell you to try to get you to be good. Your parents are gonna buy you the presents either way.” Then there is InstaG - aka the Instigator. This six year old girl is a boss and is not afraid to remind you of such, should you erroneously mistake her for some passive little 1st grader. Back around election time she decisively renamed Donald Trump, Kookamunga Pants and instigated a protest rally in her zoom class. Next we have the Winner. She is that sharp as a tack, quick with the snappy comebacks, and always open to try new things, which she usually does well in relatively short order. She’s the one that will be voted most likely to succeed in the high school yearbook, of which, she will probably be the editor. Finally we have CC, the copycat. He is the four, soon to be five year old, who is consistently on replay. He randomly (although, I sometimes wonder if there is not some unconscious strategy at work) repeats verbatim what others say as if to punctuate their sentences with the same sentence. The others often direct him to say one thing or the other, just to hear his magnificently, cute four year old delivery.

Now, here’s set up. The five of us are booted and suited to go to a neighborhood Splash Park. I run down the checklist: bathing suits (✓) water friendly shoes (✓) towels (✓) water bottles (✓) potty break (✓) and finally masks (?). Side Note of Wisdom - Always take a potty break before leaving home. Treat your bladder like a low-maintenance girlfriend who just needs to know that you’re thinking about her from time to time. You and your bladder girlfriend will thank me later. While I go to the bathroom to follow my own sage advice, I tell my posse to get their masks. It might be worthwhile to mention here that I, as per the CDC, no longer require them to wear the masks outside, I do require that they always have them readily available. When I come out of the bathroom with a happy and pacified bladder, there is a palpable tension in the air and the sounds of an all too familiar “Awww, I’ma tell” from InstaG. Quickly followed by a repeat “Awww, I’ma tell” from CC. The Winner chimes in to tell it first. “Grasshopper hit me because I couldn’t find the mask he wants.” Not to be outdone, IG follows up, “Yup, and saw the whole thing.”... CC whispers “Saw.Whole.Thing.” I instantly transform into Mary Poppins and scoop up a spoonful of sugar to help this medicine go down. “Grasshopper,” I say, “can you come here and explain to me what happened?” He, with his head hung low and tears welling up in his beautiful brown eyes, makes the four foot walk between us, take as long as possible. “Listen, we all wanna go to the splash park, but we can’t leave until this issue is resolved. So please, tell me what going on with you.” I purposely put a little stank on it. (Sniff… sniff, sniff) I… wanted… a specific mask (sniff, sniff) but Winner couldn’t find it.” (Insert 30 seconds of full blast, red faced, crying followed by the trembling and heavy breathing that emotional outbursts yield). My response was quick and to the point. “Did hitting your sister help you in getting the mask that you wanted?” (insert silent pause) “No.” He quickly admits. “So now what do you need to say to your sister?” “I’m sorry?” he asks remorsefully. “Yes, my friend, apologies work.” Grasshopper apologizes and he and the Winner hug it out. “Now,” I say with my best Mary Poppins wink and smile, “can you help him find a mask so that we can go to the splash park?” CC interjects “Mask, so we go splash park!” “Sure,” says the Winner and goes to the mask bin and pulls out a well worn, bright orange mask. Yes, you guessed it, the very specific mask that the Grasshopper very specifically wanted to begin with. “Hey!” the three say in unison followed by CC’s slightly delayed but nonetheless poignant “Hey!” “That’s the one we were looking for.” I embrace the teaching moment magically handed to me and ask, “What did we all just learn?” and before any of them can respond, I answer my own question… “Violence is never the answer. Love on the other hand, solves problems.”

Now, I know that some of you may be reading this and thinking that while the conflicts of a small group of innocent youngsters can easily be resolved with a Disney song (insert Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious), grown up conflicts are decidedly more complicated and require much more extreme repercussions and consequences. To which I ask you… Are they?... Besides literal self defense, I cannot think of one grown up problem that I have ever had, for which HULK SMASH was the solution… Can you? The takeaway of all of this, and the reason I wanted to tell this story to begin with is this. What if we all agree to put a protocol in place for ourselves. Let’s call it the What’s My End Game Protocol. This is the moment just before you strike out in violence at someone or thing and ask yourself… will this show of force bring me closer to or farther away from my end game desire? If the answer is yes, then by all means, open up a fresh can o’whoopass, but if the answer is no, then hold yourself accountable to lead with love and watch the Chim Chiminey magic Cherree into your existence.

#writers #poetry #short essay #spoken word

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tvmoviechristmas · 3 years

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Hi Kacey! Love your blog. A top 10 blog if there ever was one, for sure. I was just wondering, if you could schedule a day's worth of made-for-TV Christmas movies, what would those movies be? xoxo, definitely not the Kacey who writes this blog

Hello there, Kacey (who is definitely not me). Great question. Did you know I have been thinking about this exact question a lot??? Because I have. There’s a lot to consider when you think it. Do you just schedule your twelve favorite Christmas movies? Do you put into consideration what time of day movies are airing? Do you go for variety or programing coherence? Do I lean heavily on the movies that got me into made-for-TV Christmas blogging or is that too old school?

After a fair amount of thought, here is what I came up with. I am starting the day at 6:00 PM because in my vision this is a Friday night o Saturday venture that starts when a person comes home from work. (Have I mentioned that I put too much thought into this?)

KACEY’S DAY OF MADE-FOR-TV CHRISTMAS MOVIES

6:00 PM - 8:00 PM EST - Debbie Macomber’s Mrs. Miracle (Hallmark, 2009) - Debbie Macomber’s Mrs. Miracle isn’t the movie that put Hallmark on the map (that was The Christmas Card). However, it is the movie that made me pay attention to what the channel was doing. A sweet little Mary Poppins tale about regret, loss, moving on and forgiveness. It’s been rare to see a movie in the years since that let its characters and relationships be as messy and flawed as they are allowed to be here. Even so, the movie loves them and wants the best for them and it’s genuinely affecting because of it.

8:00 PM - 10:00 PM - My Christmas Love (Hallmark, 2016) - In ten years I have run this blog, no new movie premiere surprised me quite like My Christmas Love did. The premise sounds goofy, but the execution is absolutely exquisite. In the ten years I have written for this blog, no movie has earned my love quite like this one. It is the fun, fluffy, slightly ridiculous romantic comedy that you come to this genre for. For my money not only is it the best made-for-TV Christmas movie of the 2010s, it deserves some consideration for being one of the best romantic comedies period.

10:00 PM - 12:00 AM - Christmas Under Wraps (Hallmark, 2014) - My opinion that Christmas Under Wraps is the best Candace Cameron Bure Christmas movie has come under fire before on this blog. But you know what? I stand by it. I rewatched it last month and had a delightful time. The movie has so much -- the first Schrodinger’s Santa, small town business practices that make no sense, a gruff male romantic lead who originally does not like the small town intruder, a character played by Candace Cameron Bure that you can assume actually had sex with her love interest (upon rewatch, I believe this to be true, they spend the night together) and so on and so forth. There is not a trope that Christmas Under Wraps skips during its runtime, and that is what makes it a delightful time. It is the ultimate Hallmark Christmas movie.

12:00 AM - 2:00 AM - Christmas in Boston (Freeform, 2005) - Put this one down as another seminal movie in the Kacey Christmas Canon. I owned this on DVD. I used to rewatch it every year (before life got too busy to really watch made-for-TV Christmas movies for fun). It’s cheesy. It’s implausible. It features so many people making their lives so hard for themselves, and I loved it dearly. Maybe I’m just a sucker for mystery pen pal romance set at Christmas. I do consider The Shop Around the Corner to be a top five romantic comedy after all.

2:00 AM - 4:00 AM - A Smoky Mountain Christmas (ABC, 1986) - You can’t program a day’s worth of Christmas movies without including Dolly Parton. The most fun of her movies is the 1980s-tacular A Smoky Mountain Christmas. It’s a Snow White tale filled with big hearted celebrities, orphans just wandering around town, evil witches, grumpy mountain men and a ton of absolutely charming chaos. It’s the most pure fun Dolly Parton has ever been, and even though it’s been years since we first saw it, my baby sister and I still make jokes about it to this day.

4:00 AM - 6:00 AM - Christmas Belle (ION, 2013) - I first watched Christmas Belle on the day of a final when I needed a break from studying. It was 4 AM, and I could hardly believe what I was seeing. It’s a movie so bonkers and so poorly made that it circles around to being captivating. The definition of so bad, it’s fun... there is nothing better to fill in the 4 AM slot.

6:00 AM - 8:00 AM - Christmas at Water’s Edge (Lifetime, 2004) - I have never felt more cockblocked by a movie’s ending in my life than I did after watching Christmas at Water’s Edge. It has been over eight years since I watched it, and the pain of that ending still stings. I have had trust issues about angel-human romance stories ever since. Still, every moment leading up to the bittersweet ending is tropey fun. And maybe, there is something to the saying, “Always leave them wanting more.” I figure this movie is perfect for the 6 AM slot because the sense of bittersweet despair you feel will wake you up better than any old cup of coffee could.

8:00 AM - 10:00 AM - To Grandmother’s House We Go (ABC, 1992) - We are now in the “programming for kids!!!” part of my scheduling block. If you want to get your kids into the made-for-TV Christmas genre, it’s hard to go wrong with an Olsen twins movie. It was certainly one of my gateway drugs for becoming a made-for-TV Christmas fan. Well, that and...

10:00 AM - 12:00 PM - Snow (Freeform, 2004) - My life would be different if it were not for Snow. I watched so many shitty Tom Cavanagh shows because 12-year old me had such a crush on him in Snow. I watched so many shitty made-for-TV Christmas movies trying to reach the warm, fuzzy feeling Snow gave me back in the day. Whenever I am trying to get a youth into the genre, Snow is usually my go-to pick of a movie, and you know what! It’s worked! Because that is the magic of Snow.

12:00 PM - 2:00 PM - Christmas with Holly (ABC, 2012) - There are many tragic haircuts in this movie, which is an absolute shame. But outside of that, Christmas with Holly is a great. It tackles serious subjects without being maudlin, and features a romance you can buy into. Though I may be a sucker for a movie that prominently features a child character who chooses not like to talk to people, because I was also that kid once upon a time. (*insert joke here about how now I don’t shut up now*)

2:00 PM - 4:00 PM - Marry Me for Christmas (UP, 2013) - I would not have guessed it at the time, but Marry Me for Christmas launched UP’s signature franchise about the yearly holiday shenanigans of the Chandler family. While the sequels have been more miss than hit, the original is so much fun that you can get why everyone wanted to return to the well here. It’s a fake dating story that is willing to mess around with the tropes to fun and delightful results.

4:00 PM - 6:00 PM - Window Wonderland (Hallmark, 2013) - Paul Campbell is my favorite Hallmark lead, and no movie has used him as well as Window Wonderland did. It is also one of the few movies that Hallmark has made that has done my favorite romantic comedy trope--rivals who fall in love!-- right. After a full day of Christmas fun, I think this is a good ending point of a marathon.

So there you have it. A full day’s worth of made-for-TV Christmas movie viewing. Though, honestly, I could probably program a week’s worth of movies... there is a lot to see. So as a bonus, here are ten more movies to watch, in alphabetical order:

Christmas Bow, The (Hallmark Movies & Mysteries, 2020) - My favorite new movie of the year and the epitome of what an ideal Hallmark Movies & Mysteries movie should allegedly be.

Christmas Romance, A (CBS, 1994) - This blog would not exist if Olivia Netwon-John did not help a sheep give birth during a blizzard on Christmas Eve.

Dear Secret Santa (Lifetime, 2013) - It’s The Lake House. It takes place at Christmas. What more does anyone need to say?????

Matchmaker Santa (Hallmark, 2012) - If Christmas Under Wraps was Candace Cameron Bure’s best Christmas movie, than Matchmaker Santa is Lacey Chabert’s. I wish more movies had Santa magicking up bears to create romance.

Mrs. Santa Claus (CBS, 1996) - Angela Lansbury stars as Mrs. Claus in an absolute bonkers musical.

Picking Up & Dropping Off (Freeform, 2003) - It may not be all that Christmas-y, but the Liz Phair montage in this movie has stuck with me for decades. Also Scott Wolf stripping during a weather report as a culmination of a character arc. Back when it was ABC Family, Freeform was reliable in putting out quality made-for-TV movies and that is my nostalgia talking most likely!!!

Road to Christmas (Hallmark, 2018) - Chad Michael Murray is strangely great at pining. Also Hallmark’s first subtextual gay couple. (But the subtext is so heavy, you’d be surprised it wasn’t text.)

Snowed Inn Christmas (Lifetime, 2017) - Andrew Walker is wasted on the Hallmark Channel, but this Lifetime movie manages to make him charming (by making him an asshole) in this rivals to lovers romance.

12 Dates of Christmas (Freeform, 2011) - My favorite of Freeform’s Groundhog Day style Christmas movies that they would churn out once every five years or so.

12 Men of Christmas (Lifetime, 2009) - It’s not that Christmas-y. But it is the movie where you will see the most amount of shirtless men. The view is his penis.

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knine-nights · 4 years

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Welcome to Night Vale Year Two!! Let’s go!

Honestly, most of these are out of context reactions soooooo....yep.

Also, I shoved all of the stuff for Year Two into one post, so it’s a bit longer than my other ones (There’s usually 1-3 bullet points for every single episode so yeah it’s a bit long). Hopefully still good. I’ll put it below a ‘read more’ so it doesn’t clutter everything up.

@ the Faceless Old Woman: STOP JUDGING MY FRIDGE ORGANIZATION. THEY’RE ALPHABETICAL OKAY?! (I’m voting Hiram McDanials out of spite now.)

AAAWWWWW!!!! Khoshekh’s meow is eldritchly adorable!

Okay. Cecil describing his and Carlos’ date was the most adorable thing I’d heard since Khoshekh’s meow.

Tamika Flynn is a baddass. Further comment was discouraged via threats of decapitation.

Newly revealed attributes of librarians: they are either personally capable of making decorative signs, or they are capable of persuading others to do so. They are capable of speaking English. They also possess creativity.

I wrote that, and now I’m imagining a Librarian, Station Management, and City Council all in an episode of Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared.

Carlos just leaning over with a spatula and just being like “Oh yeah, that’s a mirage.” is significantly funnier to me than it should be.

Well StrexCorp has come to town and I’m scared.

For some reason the phrasing I accidentally used above and the fact that Kevin’s show’s opening music sounds like Christmas music makes me want to make a parody of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” with “StrexCorp is Coming to Town”. (I did it. I wrote it. Someone needs to stop me.)

Okay, ep 33 (Cassettes) was disturbing, but I’m mostly concerned with the fact that Cecil can apparently break cassette tapes with his bare hands. I know those aren’t super sturdy but that still shouldn’t be that breakable.

Is no one else more curious about the computer virus? (The one who was friends with Megan, ep 34).

Okay, I know Stop Sign Immunity is a bad idea. But if I ran a town and had no restrictions on what laws I could implement and enforce, there’s a chance that’d end up on the books.

I hate Lauren Mallard. Further comment is too infuriated to be written.

I am....going to suppress the events of Lot 37 and move on.

Since Marcus Vanston has so many chimneys, I’m just imagining a Night Vale version of “Chim Chimminy” from Mary Poppins.

Can I see a Tropicana OJ add (like this one) where all the people who drank the orange juice just flicker out of existence and the add just keeps rolling with cheery music while everyone flips out around them?

Okay, the voice that possessed Cecil during his broadcasts about The Woman from Italy makes me think of Dr. Doofinshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb. And now I’m imagining a parody of “Der Kinderlumper” (Season 4, Episode 6) but with the Woman from Italy. Why do I have so many parody ideas and no ability to actually make them?!?!

Dana is nice. Further comment was lost in the void and is yet to return.

The Man in the Tan Jacket is spooky and reminds me of The Silence (from Dr. Who). Further comment has been forgotten.

Fey is so sweet. 9 , 23 9 12 12 , 13 9 19 19 , 8 5 18. (abc123)

Cecil’s voice when he’s talking about things he finds cute is, in and of itself, incredibly cute.

Kevin’s commercial sounds like a cross between a nightmare, a Jehovah’s Witness commercial, and a car salesman pitch.

STREX HAS (technically indirectly) INJURED KHOSHEKH. THERE WILL BE Ǹ̴̬̟̲̭̩̽̕O̷͖̤̤̹͎͒̒̐̈̏̎̈͒̚ͅ ̴̭̻̈́̿M̸͔̩̥̼͍̦͚̺̔̇͑͗̊̐̅͜Ě̴̺̮̰̭̗̹R̸̪̫͈̳̄̍́̿̈́͊̈́C̵̨̙͓͎̫̱̻͐̊̈̓̀̏͆̚͜ͅY̸̢̛͈̜̾́̐̈͝͝.

Carlos talking with Cecil is the most adorable thing ever. Seriously, just the way Cecil’s like “Hi Carlos” is so fucking cute.

The fact that Cecil very specifically comments that he made faces at Daniel is very cathartic. Thank you. But also, F*CK YOU EVERYONE WHO LET TAMIKA GET CAPTURED.

Parade Day was a f*cking emotional roller coaster. Excuse me while I obsessively replay Khoshekh’s meow to make myself feel better.

I have said it before and now I am going to say it again. I HATE LAUREN MALLARD. (LAUREN, YOU DON’T DESERVE TO TALK ABOUT CARLOS)

......K̶̖̲̈́͂̆̾͗͒̈́ȩ̵̱̘̝͚͖̾̉̐͜ṽ̴͕̉̄͘̕͠í̴̢̖̞̮͚͙̕͜n̷̡̼̏̐̽ͅ....

Why does Kevin get accordion (concertina?) music while he talks? He doesn’t deserve an accordion. At best, he gets a set of broken wind chimes. Lauren doesn’t deserve instrumentation. Lauren doesn’t deserve to talk. Lauren should do us all a favor and be a more productive employee and stop being so wasteful with air usage, like breathing.

KEVIN, LAUREN, DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH KHOSHEKH’S KITTENS.

Yaassss. Go Pamela Winchell. Invoke that veto power.

CECIL IS BACK!!!! (Thank you Erika)

HAH! F*ck you Daniel.

I love that even Kevin is getting annoyed with Lauren. I still hate him, but that’s one thing I appreciate. (“Pteranodons are not dinosaurs, Lauren. They’re arachnids.”)

Okay, as much as I deeply despise Kevin (it’s a lot) he’s still kinda funny.

I’m honestly only imagining the Minecraft oak doors. Complete with the sound effects.

Kevin is creepy. But I kinda enjoy his character. Like, he reminds me of Daniel from Camp Camp. Hate him, but enjoy hearing him nonetheless.

Go Mayor Dana! (Concerned about Hiram McDaniels and The Faceless Old Woman plotting, but go Dana!!)

That voicemail from Carlos tho. I don’t even want to imagine how sad Cecil will be when he listens to the voicemail.

I’m gonna go cry again and then immediately start binging Year 3 cause I need to know Carlos is okay.

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ain-t-bovvered · 5 years

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In December, how about doing a rewatch commentary on A Very Supernatural Christmas

[Send me an ask with your favourite or a random SPN episode and I’ll comment on it while re-watching it.]

+SPN Commentaries+

Season 14

a/n : all the episode SPN gifs are made as I watch , unless they’re from google , you can see that if they are. If you can’t see them you need to use a computer or use the gifs post right under the episode link.

Episode starts...the fuck is that 90′s bullshit

- “ A partridge in a pear tree...”

- you do not want Santa to come in Supernatural. What show have you been watching?

- THUD

- fucking told you

-Don’t....don’t go looking up the chimney....really?

- *CRUNCH*

-that raindeer pjs tho

-YPSILANTI ( no offence but wtf)

- [Dean hearing the witness ] oh look remember when they looked like they care about the all FBI bullshit .

- The mother plea....that was sad as fuck

- oh do I miss that jacket

- [Mary Poppins joke]

D: who.

me: ....I’m sorry, since when Dean doesn’t understand a movie reference??

- “what do you possibly say that sound crazy to me?”

“ Evil Santa”

“That’s crazy”

- “There is no Santa” “Yeah I know , you are the one that told me that” That’s cold man.

- Do those villages really exists? Like ...is that a real actual thing?....that’s creepy fam

- “What are you talking about we had some great Christmas”

S: “who’s childhood you are talking about?”

- Zoom on Sam’s Christmas childhood ptsd’s memories

-Bobby gave the necklace to Sam ???!! the god necklace?

-I always loved the childhood memories , these glimpse into their young self.

- “Nobody never tells me anything”

-” Every where we go they got sick of your face”

MY GOD DEAN

- “DonT YoU EvER tALk ABoUT MoM” yikes still burn Dean?..

....

OMFG *slap her wrist*

-wHY IS THAT SANTA SO CREEPY

- “EW”

-that’s it, that’s their dynamics

- In their defense that Santa does look really creepy

-THerES NO mOrE CoFFee

- “Saint Nicotine”

- I couldn’t skip this

youtube

- That meaty outfit looks like something @lets-all-have-an-orgy would wear

- “I know, I was just testing you” ...yep

- “What Bobby said?” “That we are morons”

sounds like Bobby alright

- “Christmas is Jesus birthday”

Sam:

- “Mild weather”*looks back at all december’s weather in Italy* ...... Some fuckers did some human sacrifices here .

- i LOVE THE WORD MEADOWSWEET.

- POETIC CINEMA

- A wreathe made from a bunch of empty beer cans....that’s...okay...Dean is so cute tho.

- “This is my last year”

OH FUCK thanks

-well that was sad af thank you very much

- OH the moment baby Sam found out.

- “are monsters real?”“WhAT , Ya CRazY”

-”We have the coolest dad, he’s a superhero” ..

oh...baby....baby Bean I can’t

- “But they got Mom”

*chokes*

- Yeah baby Sam is so ok.

-”Dad’s gonna be home for Christmas” oh Dean and his constant faith in his dad.

*ugly crying* you are the dad Dean, you are the Dad

- I love how their faces morph

- “OH FUDGE”

- Dean want the peanut brittle

-*Casually making pointy sticks* those are not going anywhere near the trash can Dean you slob.

- The transition from Mrs.Claus home to welcome to your meaty horror feast is unsettling,

- Yeah I fucking knew what that jacket was made of

- Mrs. Claus kitchen again

-She puts napkins on their lap

- “UGH BITCH”

- “oh my goodness me, someone owns a nickle to the swear jar”

-”YOU FUDGING TOUCH ME AGAIN I’LL FUDGING KILL YA” iconic

- The nail scene.

NOPE NOPE NOPE SKIP SKIP *cringes* SKIP SKIP

- “Merry christmas Sam”

-DLING DLONG ....

oh thank fudging god

- *steps on fruit cake* SAME

- all these monsters forgetting about never leave the Winchesters alone in a room.

- Well that was violent. *squishy sounds*

- aaaaand Dean being the dad again.

- AAAAAW HE MADE CHRISTMAS FOR DEAN. MY HEART, MY HEART.

- The Jensen face at the alcohol there is life.

- Look at Dean happy face when Sam brought him present too

- “Hey Dean...”

- Sam is dying inside

I AM DYING INSIDE.

I can’t believe I finally finished this shitty commentary on the 10th of January , it’s been open in my tabs since December 20th.

I AM THAT FUCKED UP.

@waywardbaby @ravenangel33 @mariekoukie6661 @wayward-and-worn @spnskinnyballs @starfirerules @cloverhighfive @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @dragontamerm @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @destiel-honeypie @mattiecat @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee @jacks-word-of-the-day

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demigodofhoolemere · 5 years

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tagged by @lovedsammy, thank you Mel! 💗

Five Favorite Movies I Can’t and Won’t Stop Watching

Rules: list five movies, tag five friends, repost don’t reblog

In no particular order...

1) Disney. I know it’s a cheat to go for the whole company but this list would literally just be fully comprised of Disney movies and nothing else if I didn’t. The Lion King, The Little Mermaid, Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland, Mary Poppins, Enchanted, Beauty and the Beast, Brother Bear, Winnie the Pooh, the TinkerBell series, the Buddies... it goes on and on and on forever. Disney owns me and there’s nothing I can do about it.

2) Marvel. Going for another franchise but how could I not? You’ve all seen this blog. Marvel consumes me and takes up like 90% of my daily thoughts. If I had to whittle things down to a top 5 it’d be Iron Man, Doctor Strange, Ant-Man and the Wasp, and the first two Thor films (none of which are shocking answers for me in the slightest), but since the whole list is supposed to be 5... everything has to come with it, which is fine because I love the rest of the movies too much to leave them out anyway.

3) SyFy Alice. Technically a miniseries but pretty much functions as a 3-hour movie. I could watch it forever. Like, if I had to watch it every day for the rest of my life I probably wouldn’t complain. I don’t even know how many times I’ve seen it but that number will probably be quintupled over the course of my lifetime. Bury me in SyFy Alice.

4) Princess and the Pauper. I SO easily could have lumped the entire Barbie franchise all together as another single answer but I’m willing to show some restraint (even though the others 100% merit being on this list). This one in particular was, like, my movie. Still is. To this day I continue to watch it not uncommonly and I probably think about it almost every day, no exaggeration.

5) Liken’s Esther and the King. Yet again this could have been the whole Liken series but I’m trying here lol. I just.... cannot even begin to explain what this movie means to me. It’s my everything and always will be. You want a church movie that’s spiritually uplifting and truly entertaining at the same time? Bam. Esther and the King is a thing that exists. The whole series fits that description really, but Esther was my first and still my most favorite (and among the people who even know what Liken is, I’ve seen multiple others cite this as the best one, too).

Honorable mentions: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron, Harry Potter, Star Trek, Star Wars, Pride and Prejudice, Halloweentown series, Hocus Pocus, The Santa Clause series, Hunger Games, I’m sure I’ll come up with plenty of other franchises after this is already posted, edit - Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole, Luck of the Irish, My Babysitter’s a Vampire, How to Steal a Million, Roman Holiday

tagging @viennainspringtime, @unwillingadventurer, @afirewiel, @rebelmeg, and @melody-fox if any of you feel like it

#tag game #disney #marvel #syfy alice #barbie #liken the scriptures

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novella12nite · 6 years

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Only Us

@ghostchild-whelp-dipstick-spook , @mlsecretsanta

Merry Christmas Spooky I’m your Secret Santa! I hope you enjoy this Mutants AU fic I made. Your blog is full of superheroes so I wanted to do some superpower hurt/comfort. If you have an ao3 account lmk I’d like to gift it to you!

Read it here too: ao3

♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

Adrien went straight the restroom after Chloe spilled her drink on his shirt. She had offered to send his shirt to the cleaners, but he turned down the offer saying he would wash it off himself. He needed a break from the party anyway.

After coming to the academy he could almost say he was a different person now. No longer was he the new student with a mysterious gift. The rumors about his powers being unstable ostracized him at first, but thanks to Nino, who helped him with the transition into school, he was able to make new friends. The class party was going great but for some reason, in the back of his mind, he had a feeling that it was only temporary.

He stared at his reflection for some time. When he grinned he counted the lines that formed at the edge of his eyes. There really was nothing he could do but grin and bear it. His headmaster tried to vouch for him but the council had declined. They had decided it was safer Adrien remain in the Academy until they could properly claim his powers are stable. He was not sure what more proof he could offer, he thought he was getting better at school compared to being trained at home.Before he came to the Academy he could barely hold a glass, he can pick it up put down and drink from it. His father had sided with the council as well; Adrien sighed taking off his black gloves. His hands looked normal, but he knew if he ever came in direct contact with any object it would fall apart into ashes. The door opened and Adrien turned to see another person in dire need of the restroom.

“Marinette?”

She looked up clearly frazzled “A-Adrien! O-Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to! The uh door was unlocked and I thought no one was, I’m just going to leave,” As she inched her way to the exit, Adrien noticed that she hid her right arm behind her back.

“Wait! Marinette, what’s wrong with your hand?”

“It’s um- stuck.” She stated.

Adrien scratched his head in confusion. “Your hand is stuck in your purse?”

“Actually it's stuck in another dimension, that is inside my purse.” She clarified.

That’s right, Marinette Dupain-Cheng his classmate had her hand submerged in another dimension. It was her gift. He had seen her use it dozens of times in school and he like many others were in awe of it. She could create pocket-size dimensions and store various objects that re-materialize when she pulls them out. He heard his other classmate Alya call her a “modern Mary Poppins” much to his friend’s dismay. Marinette is one of the nicest people in his class, she always there to help others and was recently elected class president. She is also well known for being rather clumsy and gets fluster easily so this was not new.

His hand shot up covering his mouth, trying not to laugh. The annoyance on her face only made her look cuter.

“Hey, it’s not funny” She pouted.

“I’m sorry,” Adrien smirked, he wasn’t going to let an opportunity go to waste.

“Don’t you dare-“

“Do you need a hand, Marinette?”

Marinette glared at him, annoyed. he chuckled at his own brilliant pun as he put his gloves back on.

“I’ll get one of the teachers to help you right now.” He stood up walking towards the door.

“No!” She cried out, “Please can we just keep this between us? I wasn’t supposed to…”

She didn’t finish, using her free hand to cover her mouth. He looked at her confused but decided to ignore it.

“Ok then, what do you want me to do?”

“Let me think.” Marinette pulled her purse inside out, her hand half submerged in what looked like another plane of existence.

“Can you grab my waist? If I just pull my hand out, the tear will close ”

Adrien hovered over her, “is this ok?” He wrapped his arms around her waist, almost hugging her from behind. There were very close. He hoped he didn’t have any bad breath.

“On my count. 1, 2, 3!”

Adrien lifted her off her feet, and with both of them pulling her, she was able to successfully release her hand, causing both of them to fall backward. The portal lingered for a moment and then vanished.

“Are you alright? I’m so sorry!”

“Yeah, it’s fine Marinette,” Adrien chuckled. “I have a hard head.”

Marinette checked him, trying to make sure she did not just injure her crush. She could not believe she just fell back on Adrien! He insisted he was okay but wanted to sit for awhile in the bathroom before rejoining the party festivities. She accepted the invitation and they sat together on a nearby bench in the hallway.

“You think they’ll look for us?” He asked.

She shrugged. “Probably not, Alya and Nino are most likely doing couple stuff.”

Adrien laughed. The sound of his voice made her heart leap out of her chest. She wondered: was there ever a moment just the two of them? All day she had been trying to get a chance to speak to with him alone. Unfortunately, there was never a moment alone, especially with Chloe in the picture. She had this plan to give him a present but no thanks to her portal that has vanished, it was most likely the present would be lost forever. Perhaps Alya was right about just talking to him would be enough. Now that they were finally together, she was nervous about how to go about what she needed to share with him. They sat in comfortable in silence.

“I can not thank you enough for your help.” She finally said.

“Save me a slice of cake, I saw you brought one in earlier.” He suggested with a toothy grin.

“Kim ate the last slice, unfortunately. But I-I can bake you one!” She blurted out.

She saw his cheeks bloom red. “Really?”

She nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. For a split second, it looked like he was going to inch closer and hug her. He remained at a respectful distance, though, she looked at both his hands that were planted firmly on the bench.

“Adrien, can I ask you something?” He hummed. He looked like he was in a good mood; she’d hate to ruin it by being privy, but she was curious.

“Does it hurt? Your hands I mean…”

He nodded. “A little bit. Things turn black or crumble when I touch them, there are only side effects though, nothing too serious.” He placed them up in arms’ length so she could see them from a distance as well.

She did not speak, unsure of how to respond, so he continued.

“Don’t tell anyone, but they denied my request to go home,” he babbled on. “Headmaster said it was ok, but my father said I would be safer if I stayed here in school.”

Marinette’s eyes were blown wide; she tore away from his gaze and looked straight on. She did not expect such an honest answer.

“Marinette, I think he’s afraid of me.” His voice cracked, “there’s no other explanation for why he would not want me to come home.”

“Adrien I do not-

“It’s ok, I’m okay.” He shook his head vigorously, “I would be scared of me too.”

Marinette did not believe that. She refused to.In fact, she felt more secure with Adrien than with anyone else. He looked at her like she was a mad woman. She did not realize she said that last part aloud.

“Let me elaborate; Adrien you have the most control with your gift out of everyone in our class. You know how to control your powers. While mine are unpredictable, I lose things, I summon stuff I don’t know what use I have for them. I have no control.” She looked at him, eyes filled with tears.

She reached over to take his hand. He didn’t grab it, but he didn’t move it away either. His expression was unreadable.

“What I’m trying to say, or least what I’ve been trying to get out all night is that you have a friend staying with you this holiday break.” She wiped the tears from her eyes with her sleeve, “I’m not allowed to go home as well.”

She leaned back on the wall. The two of them sat there in silence, without words. Adrien beckoned her to lean against her shoulder.

“Well look at us, two mutants with unstable abilities who can’t go home for Christmas.”

“The world’s just not ready for us.” She answered in a low voice.

“Well, when we are ready will make an unstoppable duo.” He smiled at her, “Until then, m’lady do you happen to have any plans this Christmas?”

She wiped her eyes breaking into a smile, “Hmm I was planning to sleep until noon but after that, I have no appointments, Monsieur Agreste.”

“Splendid! I was wondering if you would like to play Ultimate Mecha Strike IV? I’ll pick you up at half past twelve.”

“Oh, Of course, but I need to bake a cake at four, for a party of two.” She played along, “I could use an extra hand. Would you like to help?” She saw his eyes shine with delight.

“You had me at cake.” He answered.

Adrien did not realize he had a crush on Marinette until New Year’s Eve. Both of them were sitting in the blanket fort they had made in the common room.

Everyone went home for break the next day, so they had the entire dormitory to themselves. They rearranged the furniture in the hallways and walked around wearing high-knee socks. Marinette challenged him to some sort of “sock-slide race.” They spent hours sliding across the empty dorm hallways. To fill up the silence, Marinette blasted Christmas music. They watched movies, played video games, baked a cake, and Marinette even taught him how to bead bracelets. They had exchanged them as presents Christmas morning.

He felt whole when he was with her like he could interact freely with stuff without destroying them. He figured she felt the same as well like she had a clearer head when she materialized objects. They supported each other and confided in one another. Adrien never felt like he could open so much about himself to another person in just days of spending time together.

Maybe it was the fairy lights they stringed up which made the mood more romantic, the way she hugged him at midnight it felt warm and he wanted to give one back in return. He could hear a small voice inside him reasoning with him. She’s amazing, she’s sweet, she’s beautiful, you are in love with her.

A/N

Marinette has dimensional storage powers: store anything in a fold of dimension/space and re-materialize. (Marinette can’t control her powers fully. She can’t predict what she can materialize and a majority of the stuff she stores she ends up losing. She also can’t close these tears so she temporarily sews them up and ties objects with string) Marinette has public acceptance but not control.

Adrien the power to destroy anything he touches. (is trained to control but is still reserved and wary around people even if their like him raised his entire life to be cautious) Adrien has control but not the public’s acceptance

#mlsecretsanta 2k17 #adrienette #miraculous ladybug #my fic

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thenearsightedmonkey · 7 years

Photo

Dear Students,

It is getting closer. And closer. And soon we will begin our time together.

Before we meet, you’ll need to gather the following things and bring them with you on the first day of class, and you’ll also have to choose a class name for yourself. (There is information about that at the end of this document)

Our classroom, the Comics Room, is 6131 Humanities. If you don’t know where it is, you might want to give yourself some extra time to find it on the first day. The Humanities building can be confusing. The Comics Room is on the 6th floor. Find the elevator and turn right when you get off on six. Go all the way down the hall find the door with sparkling silver fringe hanging over the doorway. Dig it! You made it!

I look forward to seeing you in 3-D very soon.

Sincerely,

Professor Skeletor (AKA Lynda Barry)

PART 1: CLASS SUPPLIES

-One three ring binder, 2 to 3 inch spine – no smaller, no larger.

-100 heavy weight plastic sheet protectors, already loaded into the binder.

Please do not get economy weight and make sure the plastic sheets are already in the binder before you walk into our classroom. This binder will be where your work will be kept throughout the semester. The binder stays in the classroom.

- A roll of scotch tape – the kind used to wrap gifts.

- 12 Black Papermate Flair pens, medium point. Item number: PA8430152

Order a dozen of them. They are inexpensive, they have beautiful black ink, but they tend run out quickly so you’ll need a box. Just so you know, they can be difficult to find if you wait until at the last minute.

-12 Uniball Vision Stick Roller Ball Pens, Fine Point, Black ink Item #60126

Order a dozen. IMPORTANT Note: Get the one with the light gray body. That’s the Fine point. Don’t get the ‘Micro’ point – which has darker gray body. Don’t get the ‘Vision Elite’ which has a white body. These can also be difficult to find if you wait until the last minute.

-200 3x5 index cards, lined on one side, blank on the other

-200 4x6 index cards, lined on one side, blank on the other

-Three small glue sticks (like Elmers or UHU)

-8-pack Crayola Twistable crayons – not that hard to find and inexpensive but resist the urge to buy more than the 8 pack for now.

- BOOK: Cartooning: Philosophy and Practice

Ivan Brunetti

Yale University Press 2011

ISBN 9780300170993

Sometimes they have it used at the bookstore but don’t wait until the last minute to find out.

PART TWO : CHOOSE YOUR CLASS NAME

In our class we all go by class names of our choosing rather than our given names. We’ll use our class names for the entire semester. You are free to tell each other your given names of course, but in class we will call you by the name you’ve chosen.

You can pick the name of a character that exists in myth or fiction or even non-fiction, like Medusa or Shrek or Ruth Bader Ginsberg. You can choose to name yourself after an ‘entity’ of some sort, like NASA or Russian Dash Cam or Belvidere Plaza.

You can choose a character of any gender, from any point in time. Think of a name that you’d to hear said out loud a lot over the semester. For example, one semester I was Professor Chewbacca and I was so happy whenever anyone said my name. I’ve also been Professor Old Skull, Professor Sluggo, Professor Hebdo, Professor Drogo? Professor Squirrelhead, Professor SETI, Professor Yeti, and Professor Mario Andretti.

At the end of the semester your name will be retired. You’ll be able to use it again, but no other student will be able to use it in the future. On the attached sheet are all the names that are retired. If the name you want to use is already on this list, you’ll have to find a new one.

Please note: If you cannot decide on a class name, you’ll be given the name of an American president and will go by that name for the whole semester.

(I’m assigning them in order and George Washington and John Adams have been used, next up are Thomas Jefferson, James Madison and James Monroe. )

PS: Our classroom, the Comics Room, is 6131 Humanities. If you don’t know where it is, you might want to give yourself some extra time to find it on the first day. The Humanities building can be confusing. The Comics Room is on the 6th floor. Find the elevator and turn right when you get off on six. Go all the way down the hall find the door with sparkling silver fringe hanging over the doorway. Dig it! You made it!

RETIRED NAMES of FORMER CLASS MEMBERS

(drum roll, shot of Wild Turkey)

Akira

Altair Ibn La’ahad

Ambrose

Amethyst

Amygdala

Arabella

Arya Stark

Ash

Auntie Whispers

Avatar Roku

Baby Porkchop

Baubo

Beatrix Kiddo

Bees?

Ben BagBag

Bender

Bezdomny

Big Boss

Bjork

Bluto

Bootsy

Brain Stem

Bulma

Captain Haddock

Captain Underpants

Carmen San Diego

Cerebellum

Cerebral Cortex

Chef Boyardee

Chase Carver

Companion Cube

Count Chocula

Corpus Callosum

Charlie Hebdo

Chewbacca

Daddy Radish

Danger Mouse

Daria

Dick Grayson

Director Flossy

Dolomite

Dorothy Darlying

Dr.Bronner

Dr. Girlfriend

Dr. Hibbleton

Dr. Jones

Drogo

Eeyore

Eliza Thornberry

EVE(nings)

Falada

Fay AtoMz

Felicity Merriman

Fenrir

Free Willy

Freida Ca$hflow

Frontal Lobe

G.K.

Garlic Jr.

George Washington

Ginger

Gray

Green Puppy

Godzilla

Gorilla Grodd

Gort

Gravelord Nito

Grundy

Haiku

Hal 9000

Hallelujah Jones

Harper Row

Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden

Hello Kitty

Hermione Granger

Hippo

Hippocamus

Homoerotic Subtext in Space

Honeybee

Huck Finn

Hunca Munca

Hydra

Hypatia

Hypothalamus

Invader Skoodge

Inspector Gadget

Istanbul

John Adams

Judee

Juju

Kal El

Kali Kugelman

Kitty Foreman

Kiwi Jean

Knuckles Hemingway

LMNOP

Lady Amalthea

Lapis Lazuli

Levi

Linus

Little Nemo

Little My

Lil Hot Stuff

Lireal

Live Harmless Reptiles

Lois Lane

Lore

Lord Zuko

Lucy Lou

Luna Lovegood

Lutra Lutra

Lymbic System

Mafalda

Mako

Martha Stewart

Mary Poppins

Maya the Bee

Meelo

Mighty Manfred

Mighty Mouse

Monkey King

Mordechai

Mr. Bumpy

Mr. November

Nala

Neko

Nikki Minaj

Noqi

NoraEphron

Nostalgia

Obelix

Octopus Carwash

Old Skull

Optimus Prime

Orange Marmelade

Party Peanut

Peanut

Percy

Pegasus

Pigpen

Pigwidgeon

Pippi Longstocking

Pons

Prefrontal Cortex

Princess Bubblegum

Princess Leia

Princess Lolly

Quailman

Raspberry Beret

Rattlesnake Master

Raven

Regina Phalange

Regular Sized Rudy

Robin Hood

Rose Quartz

Rosie the Riveter

Roz

Santa Claus

Scott Pilgrim

Scout

SELCO

Sharkbait

Sherlock Holmes

Skeeter

Skeletor

Smaug

Smiley Bone

Snoopy

Space Dandy

Spethjasu

Spinal Cord

Spinelli

Spot

Stevie Beach

Stevanni

Stoibenator

Storm

Stritchy

Stella Luna

Squid

Squilliam Fancison

Squirrelhead

Starfire

Super One Foods

Sweet JP

Taco John

Tank Girl

Temporal Lobe

Terra

Thalamus Wong

The Buffalo

The Girl

The Princess Anistasia

The Shmoo

The Spirit

Tigger

Toes

Trace Lactose

Twilight Sparkle

Vanth

Vicki Minaj

Vincent Brooks

Visual Cortex

Waldo

Wilder

Woodstock

Wyoming

Zef

Zenyatta

Zola

Zorba

#mc1 #making comics #UW-Madison #lynda barry #dear students

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tshirtfashiontrend · 5 years

Text

Mary Poppins is this jolly enough christmas shirt

My favourite Christmas tradition Mary Poppins is this jolly enough christmas shirt . As a kid was driving around looking at Christmas lights with my family. I love continuing this tradition with my along with some very close friends and their children. We take an annual photo in a sleigh at a local house, and every year the sleigh gets fuller as friends add babies to our wonderful family.Thus angels appear in many ways not always with an angelic appearance but sometimes in the most unique ways. Yes we can get into a discussion on the I would be happy to. This morning I again see my profile picture and smile. The happy smile you see was one of fun and excitement. That’s what Santa Claus does for me. Mary Poppins is this jolly enough christmas shirt, hoodie, sweater, longsleeve and ladies t-shirt

Classic Women's

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Unisex Sweatshirt

Unisex Hoodie

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swearronchanel · 7 years

Text

Tired of these yet? A Christmas journey in March with 4.09

I’ve actually been productive today *claps* I’m the worst™ and a procrastinator to the core, so it was about damn time I got shit done. Plus+ I ran out of clean jeans so that was some motivation to do laundry & once I started moving I just kept going haha. But today I watched the Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher’s memorial & omg it was so emotional ugh. Now that I’m so sad I guess I’m going to watch Call the Midwife. Care to join me?

I closed my eyes and pointed to the episode list, looks like we’re watching 4.09 aka the 2015 Christmas special

I don’t have to pretend very hard that it’s Christmas because it was like 17 degrees f the other day lol

Am I the only one who hums along in their head to the theme song? ok nvm

Aw a baby

Tom is actually in church lol, we rarely see him there

Sister MJ lol, what is she looking for?!

Sister Winifred actually cooks/bakes pretty often

SISTER EVANGELINA 😭💔 I still miss her

Sister Winifred aka queen of cringey facial expressions, I love it

Ah no! the death joke is no longer funny sister E 😭😭 rip💔

My bby Trixie on the scene😍

What is quality street? I looked it up before but forgot. Candy right?

whoops is my American showing

I hope Sister MC comes back soon☹️

“Behold, I have located the Brandy” three cheers for alcohol 🍻 I wouldn’t choose brandy though what am I a rich old business man at a country club?

Lol Sister MJ & Sister W giggling so pure !

“You give us enough gip when you’re stone cold sober“😂 same

Gremlin kids in the front haha

Oh no😂 Babs gave them all candy and now has to make them spit it out😂

Aw I love Christmas

But looking at this snow is triggering even if it’s fake😭😂

WE’VE HAD SO MUCH THIS MONTH HERE & IT’S MARCH❄️

yikes these kids are awful, who let them up there! 😭😂

SHELAGH’S FACE 😂 SHE IS DISGUSTED OMG HAHAA

Patrick laughing so hard like same 😭😂

Welp he’s lucky, Saved by the bell thanks to Trixie

Doesn’t Sister MJ explode whatever’s in the pot?

Ahh Shelagh looks so good™!😍 I love when they dress her up!

In other news, Laura tweeted me, which means she knows I exists. What a time to be alive™😭✨👏🏼you know I was shook

Angela so precious aww, I hope my future baby is that pretty

Now I just think of The Crown when I see Mrs Willens *she’s in it if you haven’t watched*

Oh no Sister MJ!!! 😭😭 why are they always giving her illnesses! Dejala sola!

She was legit ill in the first Christmas special 😭

Love Trixie’s ponytail, why Patsy’s hair a mess tho? LOL I SHOULDN’T BE TALKING

I’m a walking ball of frizz. And when I don’t wash my hair for a few days it actually dread locks 😂 gotta love curls

Aw Delia’s not here- I forgot she cracked her head open and went back to Wales

Protect Sister MJ at every cost

Violet literally sewing Fred’s ass into the Santa pants 😂😂😂 fun fact they did that to Olivia Newton John in Grease

not sure if I knew that because I have a junk brain of useless information or because I’m trash that reads buzzfeed

Violet’s been wearing blue eyeshadow for 3 series

“I’m not biting this, it’s too close to your backside” lol okay vi give it time. You’ll be cringeyly very handsy with each other in a bit anyway 😂

She’d do it now with no hesitation I bet

I’m here for their relationship tho😂

SISTER MJ HAD PNEUMONIA IN SERIES 1 DID SHE NOT?

Ugh distaval, fuck that. Just wait and see what chaos it brings

Aw Pats looking at the photo of Delia💔 oo wait that was a parallel then in the Cuban missile Crisis episode this series

PHYLLIS !! I missed her presence lol

Tom’s opening letter from bbc it’s lit

also: he looks good™

Poor Sister MJ! What are they feeding you, liver ew

Ah I forgot, this is when they get the tv😭

Poor Babs can’t go home for Christmas

You’ll have the nonnatus fam❤️❤️

“All should head home” *breaks out into song* THERE’S NOOO PLACE LIKE HOMEEE, FOR THE HOLIDAYSSS

Which is true because NYC is pretty beautiful at Christmas time, I can’t deny that

But also is when 100000x more people are visiting 🙃and stop in front of you when you’re walking to take pictures 🙃 *clenches fists* moving on..

Lol Tom you need to be more clear on this, they’re not getting it

Sister J shut him down 😂

“Mrs Mop” lmfao this BBC guy is a jerk😂

Laura’s another queen of facial expressions

“Aesthetics are vital” I feel

Aw Shelagh so cute being defensive of the kids of poplar

Lets be real though Shelagh’s always adorable bc Laura is an actual angel

pink wafers aye

i still have been craving them lol, there’s no bodega’s around my university though☹️

Angela is giggling, was this the last time we heard her make a noise lol

Wait this is when Sister MJ runs away

yikes measles

when did the vaccine become a thing then? that mmr shot ugh

Glad I got it because there’s supposedly someone with mumps on my campus like wtf

Why was Sister E so harsh yelling at Sister Mj!? That was unnecessary !!

LET 👏🏼SISTER 👏🏼MJ 👏🏼DECORATE👏🏼FOR👏🏼CHRISTMAS 👏🏼AND👏🏼WATCH 👏🏼TELEVISON !!

I’m so protective of her, stop😢😢

She doesn’t deserve that 💔

Sometimes I forget Patsy’s name is Patience

Fred’s Santa beard is gross ew😂😂

yikes an enema

I’d rather die

Oh no, there she goes *sings* there she goessss todayyy

Yes Babs lollipops are fascinating

She just slipped that baby out

I want to go to London at Christmas time

I love lights ✨✨

Delia! What up Bitch where you been!

BUT WAIT I HAVE A COAT THAT LOOKS REALLY SIMILAR TO MRS BUBSY’S LOL

It’s vintage too, i love it, makes me feel fabulous af

until I remember it’s probably a dead woman’s coat

WATCHING THEM LET THE BABY JUST HANG MAKES ME SO ANXIOUS OMG

“You clever girl!”

Aw poor iris 😭💔

Violet is actually so sweet & we don’t see much of her w/o Fred like why

Everyone on this show is so sweet and pure !!! I just love it too much!

remember when I was normal and didn’t care so much about television? Yea me neither 😅

Sister MJ is gone

ALL SHE WANTED WAS TO PUT UP THE TREE!!

that necklace and sapphire ring were so pretty though 😭 wish my mom had a sapphire ring for me to inherit

Shelagh is too pretty for this grey suit, where’s the navy one?!

I will never be comfortable with cookies being called biscuits tbh

“No dogs!” “If it can’t sing silent night I’m not interested” SHELAGH IS GOLDEN

SHE HAS SOME GREAT LINES BUT GIVE HER MORE !!

Oh Hay Peter

if you think about it Miranda Hart put this poor guy out of a job. Like he used to have more screen time lol but he can’t be around much with out her

“Very like a family in fact” 😭 I love when they call themselves family cause they are !!

Wait rehearsing before school? Ugh that must have been so early 😂

I couldn’t have been in that choir. In high school I woke up at 6:45am everyday & started at 8:05am & only lived 2 blocks away but I still got there at 9:15am 🙃

plus I’m an awful singer 😂

“She probably thought her habit would keep her safe”

Sister Mary Cynthia says that about her self the next series when she’s attacked 😢

Babs was right though! She was just excited bendito 😭😭

How much is a bob?? £??

I barely can keep up with how many $ is a £ tbh

Lolol had to check when I donated to Laura’s fundraising 😂😂

Delia has been with this big ass bun for 3 series as well

The cafe they’re in is aesthetically pleasing

so Delia’s mom is hella protective but didn’t notice she left to another town lol??

well I guess they’re even now since patsy left & then lost contact for a bit

LET ME TELL YOU, THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED THIS EPISODE I WAS SCREAMINGGG

I THOUGHT THEY HAD KILLED SISTER MJ AND WAS FREAKING TF OUT ™

I’m trying to think of what Phyllis’s hat reminds me of

I wanna say Mary Poppins

IT’S NOT SISTER MJ👏🏼

I knew it wasn’t but still!!!

Is Shelagh wearing lipstick? i’m here for it!

but I don’t like her dress

@ wardrobe/costume ppl be nicer to my bby pls

“Well, there’s just a word that no-one likes singing. It’s in that line and it begins with a "b”’ 😂 lmaooo c'mon Tim 😂😂

He was talking about breast feeding like how many episodes ago why is he embarrassed now? 😂

Patrick laughing 😭 me as a parent tbh

Poor sickly Sister MJ 💔

My bbys Trixie and Shelagh are ¡interacting!! 💕😍

How do I get my hair to look like Trixie’s/Helen’s

SORRY CANCELED

Lol jk all will be well bby

SISTER MJ REALLY OUT HERE IN THE WOODS, LIKE HOW ??

Ah Shelagh’s dressed up again! Love it 😍 and she’s wearing earrings & matching pearls!! so pretty!! 💕💕

this has been an episode of gushing over Laura sorry not sorry

Look at her hat, she can wear anything

LMAO HE WASN’T EVEN PETER PAN GET OUT OF HERE MAN

You have to be impressed that this 80 yr old woman with dementia found her childhood home

for real though I want Shelagh’s coat

mrs willens + shelagh was kinda a friendship & was cute

“Well I stopped holding out against that happiness, didn’t I?"💔💖

people on this show are always holding hands platonically & romantically like how sweet and pure !?

"Almost all the world was before your time child … you are concerned to see it last a little longer”

Hell yea lets get it, round up the nuns and nurses lets SING !!

“But it sometimes seems to me the older I get, the more I have to learn” 😭

“We get so much out of love, we find strength in it and courage. Love is our foundation and our fuel”

DAMN IT WHY IS THE WRITING SO GREAT??!

HEIDI CAN WRITE MY EUOLGY SINCE SHE’LL BE THE CAUSE OF MY ACTUAL DEATH WHEN THIS SHOW IS OVER ONE DAY *WHICH IS HOPEFULLY NEVER, ..I MEAN DAYS OF OUR LIVES IS ON SEASON 50 SO IT’S NOT IMPOSSIBLE🙃🙃*

shelagh and sister j❤️❤️ so pure. I love their relationship + moments together

BUT I STILL *NEED* TRIXIE & SHELAGH TO HAVE A REAL FRIENDSHIP + ACTUAL SCENES TOGETHER

no sister, it’s not your fault that she ran away😢

broadcast about to be lit

Why did we never see Trixie giving Barbara a makeup lesson😭😂

Trixie getting excited about putting makeup on Babs like same 😂I like helping people with makeup *even though I’m not even that good haha*

“Oh some lipstick might be nice, with a touch of gay geranium you’d look quite like Jean Simmons” SISTER W SNEAKS OUT TO THE MOVIE THEATRE ON HER DAYS OFF AND NO ONE WILL CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE OK

PHYLLIS GARGLING OMG

WHY IS IT SO FUNNY 😂

yea sister E I’m sorry you were kinda bitchy

I’m sorry to call a fictitious nun a bitch oops lol

SHE’S GOING TO REDEEM HERSELF AND FIND SISTER MJ THOUGH SO IT’S OKAY!! 😭👏🏼👏🏼

Tom is so handsome! i think the collar distracts you from noticing though haha

What does wet behind the ears mean and why does it sound cringey?

on the next episode of I didn’t know I was pregnant: Christmas miracles in Poplar

No but for real it seriously was a show on TLC😂 I had a phase where I watched like every show on that channel

“Antonia! Nanny found a bible in your room again” so?? like you wish she would’ve found drugs or something?

Ugh I don’t think Sister MJ will live 3 more series & I WILL BE A WRECK™ WHEN SHE DIES

Surprise! you’re pregnant & will give birth in the next 12 mins before this show ends

imagine omg never mind not feeling safe Iris I’d be freaking tf out

I told you sister Julienne just shows up and speaks and you just feel calm

“Love is not going to be halved, but doubled” I swear someone says this again in another episode but I can’t remember

maybe I’m lying idk

The Fred + Sister E dynamic was golden

what is Sister Evangelina holding?

it looks like a bong tbh

Sister MJ saying pawning her mother’s jewels was an “interesting experience"😂 dios te bengida, she needs to always be protected

aw pats & deels reunited *and it feeelsss so gooddd*

Fred saying rigging this raffle is immoral like HE WASNT THE BIGGEST SCAMMER IN POPLAR

I was here for it though lol😂

Phyllis gargling 😂😂

Wait omg she has earrings on how precious!

I always notice when girls/women don’t have their ears pierced because I didn’t realize for the longest time that it’s mainly just hispanics that get their ears pierced when they’re babies😂 I’ve had mine since I was six weeks old👶🏼

"Beatrix Franklin, midwife of mystery” aka my bby and ray of sunshine✨😭

it’s all good though, Trixie has Christopher, Tom has Babs, now where’s my handsome Englishman??

cue Vanessa Redgrave

“Sometimes the route to joy is indirect, our journey home not quite as we expected. There is no magic star to guide our steps, no ancient prophecies to predict our way. The greatest gift is to know that we travel not alone, but in the company of others. That there are hands as can reach for and hearts to keep us warm..”

Laura’s angelic voice blessing™ me on this Saturday night

I need it after being degenerate every other day of the week

*sings loudly* CHRISTTTTTTTT THEEEE SAVIORRRR IS BORNNNNNN

AHH I WANT CHRISTMAS NOW ! + THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

patsy lowkey snuggled up on Phyllis I love it

Trixie is serving looks in the corner 😍!

I still want those hoop earrings she has!

And they finally got a tv😭👏🏼

“And the family gathered round, watching their faces flicker black and white. Their very presence in the room an act of love, a welcome home”

*BANGS FISTS ON AN IMAGINARY TABLE* THIS SHOW IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND PURE AND IF YOU DISAGREE WE CAN FIGHT

I love it

Now I must go. until next time..

#who lets me do these lol #I dont stop #call the midwife #my commentaries™#i have too much time on my hands #but not really #i am certified trash for this show

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instantdeerlover · 4 years

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The Best Delivery For Kids (That Will Also Distract Them) added to Google Docs

The Best Delivery For Kids (That Will Also Distract Them)

Between school, babysitters, and family members who would watch your children, you used to get some space from your kids. But now you’re with them all the time. Everyone is bored, privacy doesn’t exist, and you’re taking hour-long showers just to get away.

You’re starting to feel like you’re living in a Partridge Family dystopia - trapped in a confined space going absolutely nowhere instead of traveling the country together in a groovy van. You need something (anything) to distract them, and give yourself a break. Here are 13 restaurants delivering things that can help.

All restaurants featured on The Infatuation are selected by our editorial team. Delivery To Distract Your Kids is presented by Uber Eats. In the wake of the coronavirus pandemic, supporting our local restaurant community has never been more important. Uber Eats is offering $0 Delivery Fee for delivery orders from independent restaurants directly in the app. Order now to support. See app for details.

Featured In The Ultimate Chicago Delivery & Takeout Guide See all our guides The Spots Happy Camper $ $ $ $ American , Bar Food , Pizza in Old Town $$$$ 1209 N Wells St 7.4 /10

It’s a universally accepted fact that kids love pizza. And Happy Camper has a DIY pizza kit that comes with premade dough and easy to follow instructions. Along with the dough, it has marinara, cheese, garlic olive oil, and pepperoni. Also important? It includes a bottle of wine.

Order delivery Passerotto $ $ $ $ Korean , Fusion , Italian in Andersonville $$$$ 5420 N Clark St 8.3 /10

It might not be as universally known, but kids also love the magic of fermentation. So order one of the kimchi kits from Passerotto. They also have rice cake kits, and a mushroom conserva kit, along with take-and-bake full meals (like kalbi or ravioli) that are easily assembled and only take 10 or so minutes to make.

Dimo's Pizza $ $ $ $ Pizza in Wrigleyville $$$$ 3463 N Clark St Not

Rated

Yet

Dimo’s in Wrigleyville is known for having creative pizzas - like mac and cheese pizza, buffalo chicken, or s’mores. And the same flavor combinations that appeal to Dimo’s target audience (drunk college students) will also appeal to kids. Now they’re selling their most popular flavors in kit form. They also live-stream a pizza-making class at 6:30pm every night, which is an alternative to the continuous loop of Frozen 2 that’s been on for three weeks.

Order delivery Summer House Santa Monica $ $ $ $ American , Cafe/Bakery in Lincoln Park $$$$ 1954 N Halsted St 7.6 /10

Summer House is the Mary Poppins of quarantine. They have a DIY cookie decorating kit, rice crispy treats kit, and balls of raw cookie dough so you can bake their fantastic cookies at home. After all this is over, they will miss spending quality time with those cookies more than they will miss you.

Baker Miller $ $ $ $ American , Cafe/Bakery in Lincoln Square , Ravenswood $$$$ 4655 N Lincoln Ave 8.2 /10

Baker Miller is selling handmade playdough they’ve created from flour and a bunch of different spices, herbs, and flowers. You get a set of four colors for $10, and it’s all organic. So if they eat it, they won’t have the same traumatic experience you had when you were a kid. Consider getting some take-and-bake cinnamon rolls, too (which will taste much better).

Sorry—looks like you screwed up that email address

INFATUATION NEWSLETTER Get our newest guides & reviews first,

plus more restaurant intel you won't find anywhere else. TRVL ATL ATX BOS CHI LDN LA MIA NYC PHL SF SEA DC Subscribe Smart move. Excellent information will arrive in your inbox soon. Do you have friends and family who also eat food? Enter their emails below and we’ll make sure they’re eating well. (Don’t worry, we won’t subscribe them to our newsletter - they can do that themselves.) Help Your Friends No Thanks Well done. You’re a good person. All good. We still like you. Want to quickly find restaurants on the go? Download The Infatuation app. Middle Brow Bungalow $ $ $ $ American , Pizza in Logan Square $$$$ 2840 W Armitage Ave 7.7 /10

Middle Brow Bungalow has a few different pizza kits, including a special cheese one that’s just for kids. They all come with fresh mozzarella, sauce, toppings, and a ball of dough. And for some reason this restaurant is selling books - some essays on Nietzsche (not quite kid-friendly), and one compilation of comic strips about being a new parent (slightly more kid-friendly).

Tallboy Taco $$$$ 325 W Huron St

This spot has a family-style taco kit that’s easy for kids to assemble. It comes with 12 tacos (your choice of filling and tortilla type), corn fundido, and guacamole and chips. And since it doesn’t require the use of an oven, you can sit on your ass and not worry about them burning the house down.

Stella Barra $ $ $ $ American , Pizza in Lincoln Park $$$$ 1954 N Halsted St 7.8 /10

This is another pizza spot that’s selling kits for you to build (and cook) your own pizzas. It includes dough, flour (for stretching), tomato sauce, fresh mozzarella, and fresh basil. They also have a “kids pancake party” that comes with a dozen silver dollar buttermilk pancakes, fresh berries, rainbow sprinkles, chocolate chips, whipped cream, and maple syrup.

Order delivery Siena Tavern $ $ $ $ Italian in River North $$$$ 51 W Kinzie St Not

Rated

Yet

If your children are getting tired of the 67 DIY pizza kits you’ve ordered, consider getting one of the “from scratch” pastas at Siena Tavern instead. It comes with your choice of fresh pasta (gnocchi, orecchiette, rigatoni, ziti, or spaghetti) and either a bolognese, parmesan cream, marinara, or vodka sauce.

Order delivery Beatrix $ $ $ $ American , Cafe/Bakery in River North $$$$ 519 N Clark St 7.7 /10

Beatrix has a cookie decorating kit (it comes with eight cookies and piping bags with four different colors of icing. It also sells take-and-bake cookies with some of their best flavors (like nutella, cornflake marshmallow, and double chocolate). While your kids are being distracted by sugar, you can entertain yourself with their Bloody Mary kit.

Aya Bakery $$$$ 1332 W Grand Ave

This bakery has a lot of bake-at-home treats that are easy for kids to put on a baking sheet and then stare at in the oven. Tell them cliches like “a watched pan never bakes” and then forget to turn the oven on. It will teach them a valuable lesson about patience and resentment.

Honey Butter Fried Chicken $ $ $ $ American , Southern in Avondale $$$$ 3361 N Elston Ave 7.6 /10

So while this fried chicken spot isn’t currently serving food, their online store has fun merchandise/goods, like their honey butter corn muffin mix. They even sell a honeycomb-shaped pan so when you bake at home, the muffins will look just like the ones you get at the restaurant.

Dorian’s $$$$ 1939 W North Ave

OK - in all fairness, Dorian’s quarantine care package is more of a distraction for you than for your kids. The kits come with your choice of wine or cocktail (the “daiq pack” makes four daiquries and comes with two tiki mugs) and a mystery record that Dorian’s picks out for you. But their reaction to the vinyl is a good opportunity to find out if your kids will grow up to be cool or lame.

via The Infatuation Feed https://www.theinfatuation.com/chicago/guides/delivery-to-distract-your-kids Nhà hàng Hương Sen chuyên buffet hải sản cao cấp✅ Tổ chức tiệc cưới✅ Hội nghị, hội thảo✅ Tiệc lưu động✅ Sự kiện mang tầm cỡ quốc gia 52 Phố Miếu Đầm, Mễ Trì, Nam Từ Liêm, Hà Nội http://huongsen.vn/ 0904988999 http://huongsen.vn/to-chuc-tiec-hoi-nghi/ https://trello.com/userhuongsen

Created April 14, 2020 at 12:59AM /huong sen View Google Doc Nhà hàng Hương Sen chuyên buffet hải sản cao cấp✅ Tổ chức tiệc cưới✅ Hội nghị, hội thảo✅ Tiệc lưu động✅ Sự kiện mang tầm cỡ quốc gia 52 Phố Miếu Đầm, Mễ Trì, Nam Từ Liêm, Hà Nội http://huongsen.vn/ 0904988999 http://huongsen.vn/to-chuc-tiec-hoi-nghi/ https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1xa6sRugRZk4MDSyctcqusGYBv1lXYkrF

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kingteeshops · 5 years

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Mary Poppins is this jolly enough christmas shirt

Classic Women's

Long Sleeved

Unisex Sweatshirt

Unisex Hoodie

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gossipnetwork-blog · 7 years

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Michael Moore's Broadway Show 'Terms of My Surrender' Review

New Post has been published on https://gossip.network/michael-moores-broadway-show-terms-of-my-surrender-review/

Michael Moore's Broadway Show 'Terms of My Surrender' Review

Michael Moore knows many people are still too depressed and paralyzed to feel they can do anything to fight Trump and his cronies who are bent on destroying the United States and the rest of the world. That’s why his one-man Broadway show is for those “self-hating liberals.”

“They’re the liberals who weren’t paying attention to what needed to happen last year to stop Trump,” he tells Rolling Stone the day after opening night. “Trying to break through that bubble was very difficult. Trying to warn them what was going to happen, it was an impossible task. This show is for them. It’s why I’m glad I’m doing it here in New York, right now, rather than in Atlanta or some other place. … Unless you have the attitude that you’re in the French Resistance at this point, I don’t know how we’re going to defeat this. All of us have to be willing to put ourselves out there.”

In that way, his stage presence in The Terms of My Surrender – which opened last week on Broadway – feels crucial after these first six, grueling months of Donald Trump’s toxic presidency. Although it may feel a bit disorganized and disorienting, it’s meant to be a way for progressives to wake up, “be bold” and realize they can do things, any number of small, feasible things, to help the fabric of society from completely unraveling. It’s not a political rally, as he’s said before (although it does involve a moment in which Moore announces his 2020 presidency on the simple platform of having a single, universal charging cord for all electronic devices), nor is it “a kumbaya piece of theater.”

The woman seated next to me in the orchestra last Wednesday – a pleasant, gray-haired woman who responded vociferously to the many pokes, prods and revelations on stage – certainly seemed to need a balm to assuage her worry about her political moral compass. After Moore urged everyone to download the 5calls.org app to make daily calls to Congress a part of their morning ritual, she turned to me and whispered a confession: “We live in D.C. We don’t have any representatives.” And I empathized with her. She obviously does want to be fired up, as did the majority of the thousand or so people packed into the Belasco Theatre who had paid hundreds of dollars to bask in Moore’s presence and hear his calls to action. Although respectful, the audience’s energy crackled, electric with needing to grumble, chuckle and respond to any and all criticisms of the current administration. He may be preaching to his choir, but there’s nothing inherently wrong about needing a little bit of preaching.

On previous nights, Moore has interviewed guests on stage – Representative Maxine Waters of California, MSNBC host Lawrence O’Donnell and documentary provocateur Morgan Spurlock – but that wasn’t the case the evening I attended. Moore says it hasn’t been scrapped, and that the segment depends on who they see in the audience or who may agree to the spotlight. He says Stephen Colbert has already agreed to sit in the hot seat, and he hopes Hillary Clinton will be one of those notables. “I’d love for her to visit, and I think we have a 50/50 chance,” he says, adding, “I predict that by the end of this run, someone from the Trump administration will attend – well he may be a ‘former member’ of the administration, the way he’s firing them.”

He also explains that the show is constructed so as to address headlines of the day, that it’s “flexible to respond to any type of nuclear attack. Not that there’s going to be an actual nuclear attack.”

But for those who are expecting fire-and-brimstone proselytizing weighed down with a lot of concrete facts or motivational moments, they may be left slightly disappointed. In some ways, this production is meant to showcase Michael Moore the man, toned down from Michael Moore the brand, the symbol, the polemicist.

The visual and rhetorical gimmicks in the show include a bit about what the T.S.A. now prohibits passengers from taking on a plane, in which he pulls objects – dynamite, a cattle prod, a Muslim woman – from a Mary Poppins-esque carry-on and a game show that pits the “dumbest Canadian” against the “smartest American” sourced from willing audience members. Spoiler: The Canadian always manages to win since their competitor ultimately fails at correctly answering the number of provinces of our neighbor to the north and how many Americans have lost their homes due to medical expenses, since the answer for Canadians is indubitably zero.

The most surprising, and moving segments are when Moore turns the attention on himself, revealing his own vulnerability. After airing a recording of Glenn Beck’s 2005 radio show in which he openly discusses if he should assassinate Moore, we learn about the many attempts against Moore’s life – and the body guards that have protected him. “I’m conflicted about the decision to include that,” Moore admits. “I’m telling people, ‘Stand up and be brave.’ But I’m also telling them that one of the side consequences could be harm to themselves.”

He says he’s not concerned that protestors, or worse, may try to disrupt his show, the way members of the alt-right did this past summer during the Public Theater’s production of Julius Caesar in Central Park. “I haven’t anticipated it, but I’m sure it could happen,” he says. “What usually drives the right crazy about me is when they see how wide my audience is. When they think I’m in Noam Chomsky territory, they don’t have to worry. But if they suddenly see me appearing on the Martha Stewart show – that I’m reaching a very wide, mainstream audience – that’s scary to them. This show has sold out every night. So I’m sure when it dawns on them, thousands of people are coming to see this, they will do what they do.”

(Moore is quick to correct and assert he’s not criticizing the left’s revered social critic and political activist. “You know, I love Noam Chomsky. I wish more people listened to him,” he says. “I wish ESPN would hire him as a commentator on Monday Night Football. I’ve lived long enough to see Howard Cosell in the booth – a real smart, thinking individual – to Tim Tebow now, so there you go.”)

The longest, most passionate segment takes place when Moore zeroes in on the Flint water crisis, accusing Michigan Governor Rick Snyder of murder. When asked whether it was meant to shore up his argument after being criticized that he didn’t do enough for his hometown, he explains why the story continues to be so urgent.

“We’re the canary in the coal mine,” he says, referring to why Flint matters. “Starting in 2010, we were living out what was going to happen in America in 2016. With Roger & Me, my first film, I was showing the beginnings of the end of the middle class. That wasn’t going on anywhere except in steel towns. In places like Pittsburgh or Gary, Indiana, and places like that. If you lived on Long Island or Santa Monica, you did not think the middle class was going anywhere. That’s the point of that story, that Flint was prologue to Trump’s America…”

Moore goes on to explain an important detail he left out during his delivery the night I attended: That Dr. Mona Hanna-Attisha, the doctor in the city of Flint whose work exposed the lead in the water and what was happening to the city residents who drank it, is an Iraqi-American.

“I started wondering, ‘If the way we want go is the way of Trump’s travel ban, what if that had happened months or years earlier?’ If Trump’s America existed six years ago, there may not have been any Dr. Mona. Her crime was that she was a Muslim and Iraqi, and we may not have ever found out the truth. The repercussions of allowing Trump and his ilk to get away with this, it goes way beyond the things we can imagine. I need to tell that story.”

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gunboatbaylodge · 7 years

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Things to Do in Vancouver this Weekend: Dec. 22, 2016

Happy Holidays! Although the events slow down a bit this weekend, that’s not to say there’s nothing to do. There are many holiday light displays, shows, and markets for the whole family. And if the weather holds gorgeous, bundle up and head outside! Get some hot coffee to-go and a walk through one of the city’s many parks, or take a stroll through a neighborhood like Kitsilano, Commercial Drive, or the West End to see what shops and cafes are open to warm up in.

Friday | Ongoing

Friday December 23

The Original Ugly Sweater Christmas Party

The Original Ugly Sweater Christmas Party Where: The Commodore Ballroom What: A party to wear that festive sweater at. Dance, drink, and win prizes.

Ongoing

top of page

Christmas Queen 3: Bachelorette Edition (ends this weekend) Where: The Improv Centre (Granville Island) What: This episode of The Christmas Queen saga sees HRM (Her Royal Meanness) as the star of her own reality show. She insists that the finale be filmed and aired live on Christmas Eve and her poor, brow-beaten director Bob Matchit can’t talk her out of it. Not only will his Christmas be ruined but her plan is to ruin the Christmas of all her suitors. Runs until: Friday December 23, 2016

The Day Before Christmas (ends this weekend) Where: Arts Club Theatre What: Alex is a perfectionist who is desperately holding fast to her Christmas traditions. While juggling family and work—and a movie star—she loses control of her holiday plans, and her home becomes a disaster zone. Can she save the turkey from the dog and salvage a broken-down tree? Find out in this infectious comedy. Runs until: Saturday December 24, 2016

Potted Potter (ends this weekend) Where: The Vogue What: Playing to sold out houses all over the world, this production takes on the ultimate challenge of condensing all seven Harry Potter books (and a real life game of Quidditch) into 70 hilarious minutes. This fantastically funny show features all your favorite characters, a special appearance from a fire-breathing dragon, endless costumes, brilliant songs, ridiculous props and a generous helping of Hogwarts magic. Runs until: Saturday December 24, 2016

Vancouver Christmas Market

Vancouver Christmas Market Where: Jack Poole Plaza What: A new location this year right on the harbor front. Get in there with a mix of traditional food and beverage, wood carvings and toys, knitted goods, nutcrackers, pottery and other crafty gifts. The kids (and maybe childish adults?) can make Christmas gifts and ride a Christmas carousel. Runs until: Saturday December 31, 2016

Enchant Christmas Light Maze

Enchant Christmas Light Maze Where: Olympic Village What: What may be the world’s largest Christmas light maze is made up of over 55,000 sq. ft. of illuminated sculptures arranged to create the an atmosphere of evening adventure. Along with the maze, Enchant features a market with over 40 local vendors, 12 food trucks and a licensed eating area where you can eat, drink, and get merry. Runs until: Saturday December 31, 2016

Heritage Holiday at Fort Langley

Heritage Holiday at Fort Langley Where: Fort Langley What: Taste chestnuts by the open fireplace, craft a handwritten letter with pen and ink for a loved one, then relax with coffee or lunch at lelem’ at the fort Café. Watch hourly barrel-making and blacksmithing demonstrations, and at 12 pm and 2 pm, laugh along with a holiday-themed fur trade wedding. Runs until: Saturday December 31, 2016

Avenue Q Where: Arts Club Theatre What: The musical story of Princeton, a bright-eyed college graduate who arrives in New York City looking for love, a job, and his purpose in life. The only neighbourhood he can afford is the multicultural Avenue Q, where Sesame Street-esque puppets rub shoulders with humans. Part felt, part flesh, Avenue Q contains full puppet nudity and other vulgarities that will induce laughter. Runs until: Saturday December 31, 2016

A Charlie Brown Christmas Where: Carousel Theatre What: Good grief! A lively musical adaption that also features a live jazz trio. Join Charlie Brown on his quirky journey as he tries to direct the school Christmas pageant. With some help from his friends and a ragged little tree, Charlie Brown discovers the true meaning of the season. Runs until: Saturday December 31, 2016

Holy Mo! A Christmas Show Where: Pacific Theatre What: Folly, Guff, and Buffoona are back! And this time, it’s Christmas. A reverently irreverent re-imagining of the Nativity told with gusto and a questionable commitment to accuracy by Pacific Theatre’s three favourite fools. Runs until: Saturday December 31, 2016

The Music Man Where: Gateway Theatre What: This beguiling and nostalgic family musical begins when fast-talking con man Harold Hill arrives in small town Iowa, singing empty promises about starting a glorious marching band to organize the local youth. Although all the townsfolk seem eager to follow his lead, the prim local librarian, Marian, threatens to reveal him as a fraud. Runs until: Saturday December 31, 2016

East Van Panto: Little Red Riding Hood

East Van Panto: Little Red Riding Hood Where: York Theatre What: Little Red Riding Hood is bombing down the Adanac bike trail to deliver a basket of goodies to her sweet little granny. Cheer Little Red along as she battles everything from bike thieves to distracted drivers to The Big Bad Wolf. Suitable for kids 5 and up. Runs until: Saturday December 31, 2016

Mary Poppins Where: Arts Club Theatre What: Watch Mary Poppins fly over the rooftops of London, and feel like a kid again! Remember, anything can happen if you let it. This family musical featuring the unforgettable songs from the popular Disney film—A Spoonful of Sugar, Chim Chim Cher-ee, and Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious—is practically perfect in every way. Runs until: Sunday January 1, 2017

Untangled Figures by Guillaume Leblon

Untangled Figures by Guillaume Leblon Where: Contemporary Art Gallery What: Creating fictional landscapes or altering an existing space has long been Leblon’s favoured technique for fuelling uncertainty and doubt in order to undermine the stark purity and perfect finish of the museum. Runs until: Sunday January 1, 2016

Après over the Holidays Where: Sea to Sky Gondola What: Wrap up a day of snowshoeing, tubing, exploring the backcountry or a headlamp hike tour by gathering with friends and family at the top of Sea to Sky Gondola for cocoa or a wintery stew as you cozy up and drink in the views from our Summit Lodge. Runs until: Sunday January 1, 2017

Grouse Mountain Peak of Christmas

Peak of Christmas Where: Grouse Mountain What: It’s mountaintop holiday time. Bring your family to Santa’s workshop and meet reindeer, or take a sleigh-ride through a mystical alpine forest. You can also experience the tranquil beauty of skating on an 8,000 square foot mountaintop ice skating pond, surrounded by snow-topped trees or wander through an outdoor holiday lights display. Runs until: Monday January 2, 2016

Christmas at Flyover Where: Flyover Canada What: FlyOver Canada will transform into a magical winter wonderland this Christmas season. Guests will have fun helping Santa search for his missing elves during an exhilarating flight across Canada and onto the North Pole. Runs until: Monday January 2, 2016

Holiday Heights at the Bloedel Conservatory Where: The Bloedel Conservatory What: Experience a (warm) winter wonderland inside the Conservatory with lights, festive music, a holiday scavenger hunt, and more. Go to new heights with a holiday ferris wheel outside. Only $ 6.75 for adults, less for kids. Runs until: Monday January 2, 2017

Canyon Lights

Canyon Lights Where: Capilano Suspension Bridge Park What: The suspension bridge, Treetops Adventure, Cliffwalk, the rainforest and canyon are transformed into a world of festive lights in the trees, over bridges, and in the little village. See the world’s tallest living Christmas tree (153 feet) go on a Snowy Owl Prowl, decorate gingerbread cookies and make your own Christmas card. Runs until: Sunday January 8, 2016

All Together Now: Vancouver Collectors and Their Worlds

All Together Now: Vancouver Collectors and Their Worlds Where: The Museum of Vancouver What: 20 beautiful, rare, and unconventional collections, with something for everyone including corsets, prosthetics, pinball machines, taxidermy, toys, and much more. In this exhibition both collector and collected are objects of study, interaction, and delight. Runs until: Sunday January 8, 2016

White, Steel, Slice, Mask

White, Steel, Slice, Mask Where: Contemporary Art Gallery What: Working together for over a decade, the duo’s interdisciplinary practice typically instigates community-based models of participation in order to re-imagine a material record of the present. They investigate tactics of cultural representation while utilizing the methods of anthropology to examine various forms of collecting, interpretation and display. Runs until: Sunday January 8, 2016

STOMP Out Hunger Where: Red Truck Brewery What: Everyone who drops off a cash or non-perishable food donation at the Red Truck Brewery before January 13th will receive a coupon good for $ 5 off a ticket to see the touring production of STOMP during its January 13th-15th run at Queen Elizabeth Theatre. In addition, Red Truck Beer will donate $ 1 from each pint of its seasonal beers sold in the Truck Stop during the month of December to the Vancouver Food Bank. Runs until: January 13, 2016

Walker Evans: Depth of Field

Walker Evans: Depth of Field Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: The American photographer Walker Evans (1903–1975) is among the most influential artists of the 20th century. Covering the full arc of his career, Walker Evans: Depth of Field presents the most comprehensive look at Evans’ work ever mounted in Canada. Runs until: January 22, 2017

Alexine McLeod

Alexine McLeod Where: Monte Clark Gallery What: The artist presents wall-mounted abstract compositions that combine everyday materials including plastic, fabric, found objects, and light. Runs until: January 30, 2016

In the Footprint of the Crocodile Man

In the Footprint of the Crocodile Man Where: UBC Museum of Anthropology What: The Sepik River of Papua New Guinea is one of the largest river systems in the world, extraordinarily beautiful, but seldom visited. It is here that the Iatmul people, who live along its banks, have created internationally renowned works of art primarily inspired by stories of the majestic crocodile as the primordial creator. This unique exhibition will showcase the most comprehensive collection of contemporary Sepik art in North America for the first time. In addition to highlighting the exquisite carvings of Papua New Guinea’s latmul people, the exhibition will delve into their economic, cultural, and spiritual connections to the river system, drawing urgent attention to the logging and mining operations that pose environmental threats to the region. Runs until: January 31, 2017

Juxtapoz x Superflat

Juxtapoz x Superflat Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: A manifesto for new creative practices that can no longer be adequately described by the traditional categories of art and production. Presenting the work of more than 30 artists from Japan, China, Korea, Europe and the United States this remarkable exhibition offers a unique insight into contemporary art and its place in cultural life. Runs until: February 5, 2016

As Heavy as a Feather

As Heavy as a Feather Where: Centre A What: Indigenous Taiwanese artist Chang En Man is having her first exhibition in North America. Chang’s practice is characterized by a dynamic interplay between story, tradition, and the struggles of indigenous peoples in the face of ongoing experiences of colonization. Runs until: February 11, 2016

Robson Square Ice Rink

Robson Square Ice Rink Where: Robson Square What: Ice skate for free or rent a pair for $ 4 on this outdoor, covered public rink right downtown. Runs until: February 14, 2017

Judy Chartrand, What a Wonderful World Where: The Bill Reid Gallery of Northwest Coast Art What: Her beautiful and provocative work presents her own personal history and insights into life in the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver, and commentary on racism and post–colonial relations between Indigenous and non–Indigenous cultures. Runs until: February 19, 2016

Layers of Influence

Layers of Influence Where: UBC Museum of Anthropology What: This stunning exhibition will explore clothing’s inherent evidence of human ingenuity, creativity and skill, drawing from MOA’s textile collection — the largest collection in Western Canada — to display a global range of materials, production techniques and adornments across different cultures and time frames. Runs until: April 9, 2017

Vancouver Special Where: Vancouver Art Gallery What: The first iteration of this series and it features works by 40 artists produced within the last five years—Vancouver’s post-Olympic period. The exhibition includes many emerging artists as well as those who are more established but whose ideas were prescient. Some are recent arrivals to Vancouver, while others are long-term residents who have already made significant contributions. Others are nomadic, less settled in one place and are working energetically between several locations. Runs until: April 17, 2016

Nat Bailey Stadium Winter Farmers Market

Nat Bailey Stadium Winter Farmers Market Where: Nat Bailey Stadium What: Don’t fret the summers Farmers markets packing up – winter is here, and you can still shop local for fresh produce, preserves, baked goods, and crafts. Runs until: April 22, 2017

Hastings Park Farmers Market

Hastings Park Farmers Market Where: Hastings Park (near the PNE) What: The Hastings Park Farmers Market features a great selection of local produce; nursery items, fish, meat & dairy; artisan prepared foods, baking and treats; local crafts, and of course, food trucks. Runs until: April 30, 2017

What are you up to this weekend? Tell me and the rest of Vancouver in the comments below or tweet me directly at @lextacular

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