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nevermindirah · 3 years

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Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).

Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)

The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.

In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.

Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?

I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.

Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.

And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.

I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.

Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.

I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.

One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)

Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.

Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.

It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.

Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.

#nile freeman #linguistics #TOG POC Love Fest #nileweek2021 #tog meta #tog #long post #mine #antiblackness #jewish things #hi i'm an antizionist jew no i don't really want to talk about it

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wenellyb · 3 years

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I have a general comment to make about the whole Sebastian thing, not on the Instagram picture, because it is not my place to comment, but a general comment about dealing with racism in the fandom, and some of the behavior I have seen on Tumblr.

I have a story to share first and it's not really related to fandoms, or shipping Sambucky or even Sebastian Stan directly but it's about how White people see racism, so I hope some people will read this and think about it.

I just want to say one thing... if you want to comment this, please read until the end before you do.

And please bear in mind that I'm not talking for anybody else but only my own experience and my opinion.

I see a lot of people get defensive when racism is called out in the fandom,whether it is them or a celebrity they love, and a lot of them try to deny it, or try to find excuses.

I understand why they do it, but it's really not the right way. The correct way is to sit down, listen, think about it and THEN only then can you deny or accept the accusations.

Here’s the story:

I was once with my group of friends and I don't know what prompted the question but they asked me if I thought all White people were racist. And you can guess it, I'm the only Black woman in my group of friends. We're all French and 5 of my friends have Asian orgins (Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos) and 3 of my Friends are White. Just planting the decor, lol.

I don't know why they asked, but we're always having debates like these on different topics so i just answered...

I told them that yes, that I thought all White people are racists, and that racism is not just hating all Black people, or all non-White people, but also includes a multitude of other aspects that enables racism to prosper.

It can be some unconscious feeling that you or White people in general are a tiny/ a lot better than Black people, it can be making or laughing at racists jokes, it can be denying racism even exists anymore: " But it's 2021, those kind of things don't exist anymore" this is also harmful, because then when your friends come talking to you complain about an encounter that was racist.... you will minimize it because "racism doesn't exist anymore so it can't be racist" so even though your intentions may not be bad... You are protecting the racists, intentionally or not etc...

There are so many more aspects to racism than just being a far right extemist who hates all foreigners. Racists don't only look like that.

I won't expand on this, but there are many more aspects, I mean I could expand, but it's not the point of my posts, the point of my post is that they asked me and I made a mini essay to explain that the way I see it, there are "levels" of racism (for lack of a better word), and that in that aspect, all White people were racist. People think that you need to be a far right white supremacist, to be racist, you really don’t.

And I told my White female friend, let's call her Alice, that she was the only White person I knew who wasn't racist (implying that my other two friends were racist).

To be honest, I don't think that all White people are racist, my uncle is White and he's the furthest from racist you'll ever find, but I said it anyway because otherwise some people would never question themselves. If I say this people will either get defensive and deny it, or reflect on it and try to assess if they have some internalized stuff they didn't explore and didn't know. But if I say that not all White people are racists, my friends would have directly thought they were off the hook.

What I do believe is that a lot of people are racist and just don’t realize it because they only think about the "extreme" cases of racism.

So I said to my friends that I thought all white poeple were racist and two things happened, and I wasn't expecting any of it:

- My White male friend, let's call him Pierre, listened carefully, and said that in what I had described, he admitted that he was indeed racist, he acknowledged that he did have some prejudice if he was being honest, and also that he had made some racists jokes so that even though he never considered himself racist, hearing what I was saying he said that on some levels, he was indeed racist.

Bear in mind that this is the friend whose favorite character in Black Panther was Martin Freeman, and had already argued in other conversations that positive discrimination made it difficult for White straight Men to find a job (When by the way he has never struggled to find a job a day in his life so go figure, besides there is no postive discrimination policies in France or anything, so I don't even know why he said that).

So knowing my friend, I knew he had some kind of prejudice, obviously, I just didn't think he would really think about what I was saying and admit it.

This was kind of a big deal, and I would never have thought that he would have admitted it, I thought he was the one I would have to argue with, but nope, he listened.

- Then my friend Alice, the one I had told was the only White Person I knew who wasn't racist, got mad and got defensive, even though she was the only one I hadn't called racist to her face. I said specifically she was the one White person I knew who wasn't racist because from previous discussions she was the most open when it came to discuss issues on racism.

However, she's the one who wouldn't really listen and said that I should not generalize about all White poeple, all that kind of stuff, so eventually I had to apologize to her and told her "It's not because all White People I know are racist that all White people are". I had to rephrase this way.

A few months later, I received a message from my friend Pierre, he's Alice's boyfriend by the way. He texted me that they were having Sunday lunch with her family, and someone asked Alice about a Black woman she knew, and Alice answered " She's pretty for a Black girl"...

So many things to unpack, the violence of those words thrown around so casually, those words being said by someone who doesn't consider herself racist, and also, the fact that I would have never known this if her own boyfriend hadn't texted me this.

"She is pretty for a Black girl" is one of the most disgusting and White Supremacist thing she could have said: All Black people/women are ugly by default but that girl is a little bit over that standard?" I don't know any context where that sentence isn't awful.

And also, I'm her friend, am I supposed to be relieved that maybe I'm in the basket of the "pretty ones" or should I consider myself as a member of the other crowd?

There's no way around it, what she said was so f*cked up.

This is why your " I can't be racist I have a Black friend" doesn't mean anything by the way. It doesn't mean anything. She's one of my closest friends.. we had a group trip together for my birthday. So she's not a casual friend, she was in my close group of friends.

The only silver lining is that by doing this, she exactly proved my point.

So according to you, who's the "ally"?

A White guy who recognizes he has prejudice and works on his racism and will call it out when he sees it, even if it's coming from his own girlfriend?

Or a White woman who considers herself an "ally" and doesn't think she is racist, but in the safety of her home doesn't hesitate to say racist stuff when she is surrounded by her White relatives?

It's no use being an "ally" if you're going to be defensive and deny everything or forget you're an ally the minute it is your favorite celebrity being called out.

Getting defensive whenever people start talking about racism is suspicious. If you feel called out, think about it, work on yourself and find out if what you’re being called out for is legitimate or not. And you know what maybe it isn’t? Maybe you Tumblr user X are not racist or you don't have prejudice, but you will never know if you don’t ask yourself and shut down the discussion from the beginning.

Just after the picture was posted a lot of people had already chosen their camp.

Even if you first reaction is defensiveness and wanting to deny it all, the first step should always be to sit back and think about it, and it's not only about racism, you listen first, think about it, and THEN and only then do you deny it or confirm it. Nobody is perfect, but the people who choose to stay obtuse in certain situations are really not helping and are by far the worst.

Stop finding excuses for Sebastian, of course don't go on his Instagram, don't harrass him, don't insult him... But also stop finding him excuses before you have taken the step to listen to the people who have something to say about it. Listen first, you’ll find the excuses later.

Also, most probably the people who are calling him out here on Tumblr are not the ones going on his Instagram to harass him (well at least I hope not) so why can't we have the conversation here?

We can have the conversations here on Tumblr, and discuss it... But the discussions will go nowhere if everybody just gets defensive.

Same thing when we call out racism in the fandom... Your first reaction shouldn't be to get defensive but to listen, I’m taking the example of the MCU but if we say there was racism in the Stucky fandom, don’t try to make it seem like there’s a Sambucky VS Stucky “ship war”, listen to why people are saying this, and then you can draw you own conclusions.

Here, for the Sebastian story, let's listen to what Buddhist people have to say, first. Maybe they will say the post was problematic maybe not... And we'll learn something.

My first thought is also to get defensive when I read a post and feel called out, but that's not the correct way, you may have some prejudice and not even realize it, or realize it and be in denial...

This might be contreversial but it is my opinion that most people are not hardcore racists. But their unwillingness to acknowledge their racist tendencies, working on it... or even staying silent when blatant racism is on display is what enables racism to live long and prosper.

On Twitter or other Social Media people will be openly racist without a problem, but Tumblr prides itself in being open and tolerant, but when it comes to really calling out racism, then it’s crickets-

If you don't want to do anything about racism... It's ok, I really mean it... It is ok.

If it doesn't disturb you when the non-White characters are treated differently in your fandoms it is ok, I'm serious... If you want to enjoy your Tumblr life without thinking about racism it is more than fine, you really have no obligation... It’s ok to stay away from some conversations.

But please... please, please don't stand in the way of people who are trying to do something about it.

And most importantly don't say you want to fight racism or that you are an "ally" but when you are called out or someone else is called out, you try to minimize everythin with "Not everything had to be about race"

Yes, not everything has to do with racism but you'll never know if you don't sit down and think about it first. Maybe Seb’s post wasn’t offensive, I don’t know. But how will we know if it was or not if we don’t listen to the people who are affected by that post?

This isn't even really about Seb himself but about the way some people in the fandom behave... How people just go to extremes without even trying to discuss first.

I love Seb as an actor, but I don’t know him and I’ll probably never meet him, I won’t spend the next days trying to defend him or accuse him, he and I live different lives that will never intersect, and it's fine like that, but I will listen to people who have been affected by his post and have something to say about it.

Seb will be fine, his career will be fine, he probably even has someone handling his social media... But the people on Tumblr who have to accept racism in silence and have had to do it for years will not be fine, if the coversations keep getting shut down before they even start.

Everyone skipped the listening part and jumped to the defending or condemning part. And also a lot of things from the past re-surfaced (take a knee post, some instagram likes I guees) which makes it even more difficult if people skip the listening part.

To me, there are 2 groups of people, people who have prejudice and want to do something about it and people who have prejudice but don't want to do anýthing about it...

I don't know in which group Seb is and I don't know him so I won't be spending days trying to figure it out...

But from what I've seen, at least in the MCU and Star Wars fandoms, I know in which group a lot of people in Tumblr users are and if some of them want to switch groups, it’s never too late.

#fandom racism #sebasian stan #long post #I didn’t insist on harrassement and all but of course never harrass anybody on the Internet celebrity or not.#I tried to put too many things in there.. I hope #it's still understandable #MCU fandom #tfatws #I know this is long #And I know that I have repeated some stuff... But some stuff needed to be repeated #Sometime we need to sit down and think about why people do the things that they do...#bucky barnes

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anxiouslyfred · 3 years

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The Protector

for @dukexietyweek‘s day 1 prompt of Myths/Supernatural

Summary: Remus’s town has a mythical protector, genuinely just spoken about as the Protector, regardless of what the police have tried to say about it. He’s set on meeting them and getting to know them, even if that means latching on to people vulnerable to assault in some vain attempt to help.

Warnings: vague fight descriptions, financial abuse, sexual innuendos and references, assault mentions, all combated though

/\/\

Remus had always been fascinated by their towns protector. Everyone knew about them, and most of the town believed they were nothing more than a myth, a superstition told to keep their town a pleasant place to live. Why else would their authorities claim there was a vigilante attacking people in their homes or in large groups only for witnesses and victims to claim the people attacked were abusers or involved in gang violence?

No, most of the town thought it was probably just various young men stepping in to help and being protected when the police wanted a target for anything aimed towards one of their own. Remus kept on questioning that though.

He knew all the popular stories, and reports dating back centuries. One night he'd even broken into the station to look through the cases relating to the protector and all of them were the same. There would be an officer involved in assault or abuse, and the description given barely varied, going back hundreds of years: the height, the hair colour, the build. Whomever this Protector was, they were impossibly old and very much against any form of abuse, including abuse of power.

It took a while for Remus to ask about them at his job in the elderly care home, uncertain who there might accept his questions, but eventually he did.

“The Protector has been around as long as my family has lived here. Far longer than that station has existed, since we were one of the founding families here. I've got diaries from my many times great grandmother describing when they became a protector actually.” Thomas explained, leaning back in his chair with a smile. “Of course then they didn't focus so much on abuse or even what happened around the entire settlement. Grandma always wrote about another intervention happening, chasing away the latest possible apprentice to their Warlock.”

“Warlocks?” Remus loved the idea, but magic was only a thing of fairytales. If it ever existed he was sure that science had killed it off entirely by now.

Thomas chuckled. “Oh yes, magic was still known about at that time. There was a village warlock who took apprentices fairly regularly since they seemed to disappear or die off during experiments a lot. Our Protector was the last apprentice to stay with him for more than a day. After the announcement that he'd vanished and the Warlock was seeking a new apprentice, so the diaries say, they returned, not to work for the warlock, but to stop anybody else from doing so.”

His thoughts boggled at the idea, coming up with reason after reason that their Protector might chase people away from working with the Warlock, from a jealous rejected love, to dangerous experiments being forced on the people around the warlock. Nothing that an old diary was likely to include so he swapped focus. “But why fight abuse now? Or for all this time even? If they live so long surely they could travel, explore, find the most amazing creatures and live with them abandoning all humanity.”

“That's a question better asked to them, Care Duke. Come on, I'm late for my pills.” Thomas shook himself out of the story, clapping his hands and glancing towards the clock.

Remus moved automatically through the help Thomas needed before carrying on with his rounds, his mind still focused on the Protector and how he could possibly meet this elusive person.

/RV\

The first time Remus met the Protector it wasn't deliberate.

He and his brother had always stood out at school. They were too extravagant, too emotional to quietly pass under the radar. Roman had used it to excel in theatre, and become a well known name, while Remus used it to rebel.

Roman had recently come out publically and while most of the media had been supportive, Remus could imagine the hatred that would spew forth from the bigots in their perfect little houses. That was why he'd decided to walk his brother home from the theatre, adding a little extra protection for the only person in his family that listened to his ideas.

A bat coming out of nowhere was only just dodged as they passed an alley, but before either of them could fight back it was like the shadows were attacking for them. A dark fist from behind the bin hitting the hand holding the bat enough it was dropped.

“Holy darkness, Ro-ro it's the Protector! Where are you shadow face? Can I see you? Know you? Touch all your sensitive places and worship you?” Remus was rambling as he watched more limbs for and then dissolve, knocking out their attackers as low growling noises came from further back.

Roman had instead backed up against the wall, scrambling for his bag where one of the prop weapons had been given to him. “I – I don't need protecting. I can defend myself. They just – just caught me off guard, see. I'm all armed and ready!”

“Armed and ready to fight nothing.” A cloaked figure finally stepped forwards as the shadow limbs finished dissipating. “Aside from being an actor with no experience in a real fight where you need to make contact with the other person. What exactly did you think a prop in your bag would do?”

“Give me a chance to meet our towns Protector!” Remus insisted, bouncing over to the stranger and leering over their outfit. “Gotta say the outfit is kinda 2 centuries ago. Want me to get you some new clothes? Come find you here once I've got them?”

The Protector frowned at him, “You are far to excited to have just gotten attacked, and I don't need pity. These clothes serve me well and I can sew anything else I need.”

Remus couldn't say anything more as the Protector faded back into the shadows until there was no person with them anymore.

“So that happened. Want to teach me hand to hand or something tomorrow? Get out of the family home?” Roman blinked, tugging Remus onwards when he made no move to carry on.

/rv\

Remus planned his second meeting with the Protector, deciding to at least ask their name and hoping the hoodie he'd found in a similar colour to their cloak would be accepted. He didn't care if nothing could happen with this centuries old person, he wanted to know them better, possibly even stop them being so lonely that rejecting everyone was their instant response.

Remembering how to find or meet the Protector was another thing. It meant Remus had to be a victim in a loud enough way they'd show up, or at the very least be outnumbered while trying to help a victim of some form of abuse.

“Hey shooting stars. You're all looking completely edible tonight and I'm on patrol to locate and take out any cannibals. Can I stick with you for when they get lured in?” Remus knew the line was ridiculous and definitely sounded like a pick up line, but he'd seen them in the club and had already heard a few of the idiots in town making predatory comments.

“Are you literally asking us to be your wing man, or are you just wanting an excuse to get into a fight?” Valerie countered, glancing at him, and probably mistaking him for Roman, given she was friends with his brother.

Remus went with it whichever. “Excuse to fight, plus Roman'll throw a bitch fit if you get harassed at all. I suggested he starts a patrol with that prop sword of his but apparently no matter how sharpened I make it it just isn't up to protecting standards yet, the poncy coward.”

The group of girls just nodded then, letting him stay close but otherwise ignoring his inclusion in their group. Remus didn't mind though. He was more focused on watching out for anyone that seemed likely to try attacking them, and being on guard against it happening. He was going to at least help the Protector this time.

And he did manage to.

It was only Remus and 2 of the girls from the club when some overly entitled block made a grab for one of them and Remus met the reaching hands with his fist. There were four other men with them and while Remus swept his leg in a low kick to knock them to the ground he glimpsed the shadows coming out too.

Just like when he'd been with Roman the fight after that was quickly finished. Shadows were impossible for the men to fight but the girls had already started running to their separate homes. Remus would bet that there'd be thank you cards or something dropped off at the family home for him soon and didn't look forward to the questions that would bring.

“Don't usually have repeat damsel's. Then again, if you want me to actually save you rather than the people you hang out with let me know.” The Protector comments, walking out from the darkest shadows to stand beside Remus.

“Do I get to control you if I know your name? Also should I wear a dress next time if I'm your Damsel? And I thought this hoodie would be softer than that cloak. Well if you still care about that after however long you've been alive.” Remus had stumbled across the name thing when trying to read up on myths outside of the ones just for his town and had been curious about it ever since.

The Protector snorted, shaking their head. “It's Virgil and I could ask you the same thing since you keep asking questions instead of making introductions. If you wanna wear a dress then go ahead. Would suggest something short if you're going to defend yourself in a fight though.” They didn't make a move to take the hoodie until Remus basically forced it into their hands.

“Remus, He/him pronouns thank you very much. Are you just wanting a better view of my merchandise by getting me into short skirts?” He laughed, dodging back from Virgil when they tried to give the hoodie back immediately. “Nope, got that one for you. The one for me got a little stained when remembering just how how your mysterious disappear into the shadows thing was last time we met. So do you just fight with those shadow hands or do you use them more pleasurably too?”

Virgil glanced down at the hoodie, frowning from the second sentence Remus had said. “Pronouns are a thing people talk about now? Beyond just his or hers type things?”

“Yep, kinda wondering where you fall on the gender spectrum too, but I don't care as long as you completely wreck me, whether with your actual hands or those shadow limbs of yours.” Remus quipped, giving voice to the thoughts he'd swallow down usually. It wasn't worth paying extra rent if his family heard he'd made some comment or other and he just wanted out of that thrice damned family home.

No reply came and Remus couldn't even remember Virgil vanishing into his shadows although he'd been looking at the Protector the entire time they spoke.

/vr\

Of course after that meeting Remus was still looking for other people he could help protect, walk home with or just be around in the hopes of seeing Virgil again. Perhaps it had been something of an obsession with a town myth when he first started wanting to meet The Protector, but now he just wanted to know this gorgeous, quick thinking person again, and since they never seemed to be among the people that meant becoming a target for abuse or helping others that might be.

He had gotten a few short skirts to wear too, and would make sure to change into them in back alley's so nothing would get said at home. Spirits knew his parents would just claim that if he had money to spend of frivolous things like skirts then he should be putting more into the family income.

“Jay-Jay! I keep telling you, if ya want to learn how to fight, I'm more than willing to teach you!” Remus had jumped over to one of the college kids that had moved to their town for the semester. He'd practically adopted this kid by now, or would have if not for their refusal.

“And I keep telling you that this is all part of my plan. They don't realise just how much I can get added to their records and by the time they do, it'll be too late and their lives will be ruined forever.” Janus hissed back, shrugging his backpack further up, and glancing back towards the school.

There had always been a bullying issue between the kids that grew up in the town and stayed there for college and the ones that decided to come here from a few towns nearby. Remus didn't think it was something Virgil would try to combat but he was going to try this one on his own.

Or he would have if he'd seen the sports team coming out of school that evening and grabbing his arms just as he was trying to convince Janus to learn how to fight one more time.

“Looks like we've got-” The words were cut off as shadows yanked the one who'd caught Remus sharply back into the wall.

That move had been enough to get Remus throwing punches too, focusing on the guy that had tried to grab Janus although the student had dodged away somehow without turning to see who was close.

“Protector?” Startled whispers fled through the sports team before they were backing away from Remus and warily eyeing the shadows nearby. At least they knew the stories of the town enough to recognise when the towns myth came to meet them.

Janus however was still frowning after them. “What or who the hell is this Protector?” He hissed after a second, only to jump when he saw Virgil upon turning around.

“The Towns Protector. It's kind of a myth come true that everyone knows but most people don't believe in. Looks like you just got some more people to believe in you now, Shadow-Man!” Remus crowed, throwing himself onto Virgil now they'd properly appeared.

“Sure...” Janus took a few steps backwards. “Well then I guess I have even more reason to refuse your fighting lessons so I'm just going to head home and you two can do whatever the fuck this is.”

Remus is cackling as the kid speed walks away, looking for all the world like he was completely relaxed if not for the speed of his steps.

“I'm just going to stick with he/him pronouns for now. It's been too many centuries for me to adjust them, besides it's not like anyone other than you is going to use them.” Virgil murmurs, arms tentatively around Remus where he'd been caught.

“Your choice, Wall Creeper. What do you think of the skirt anyway?” He steps away to show off the outfit just for Virgil, enjoying how his gaze drags over him.

Virgil's smirk grows slowly. “Definitely scandalous if you were in the year I became this, but I'm guessing a bit more acceptable now.”

“Or a flashing light to any transphobes to scream 'fight me! I dare you!'” Remus loved that idea. He would stick it to any asshole trying to judge people on who they were.

There was another snort in response. “So you really do just like making yourself a target for abuse. I did wonder.”

“Maybe I'm just trying to get your attention. Gorgeous man, just waiting to play hero and knock out the abusers in my town. How's a guy to resist?” Remus couldn't stop the flirtatious comments. He wanted and lusted for this living myth.

This time Virgil seemed willing to return the flirting though, raising his eyebrow.

Remus didn't realise until he was back in the family home that his Protector had actually stayed talking to him for a lot longer than he'd usually remained.

/rv\

The Protector intervened with abuse and assaults around the town Remus lived in and had done ever since the last warlock in the town died. Everyone who grew up there new the stories and claimed to love or respect all their neighbours because of it.

Remus had never considered anything about his families views of money and earnings would be enough to have Virgil visit his home and after the incident with Janus he was finding the other people around town acted as if he himself was the Protector.

A couple of the shop keepers had actually asked how the title got passed down since they couldn't believe any of Remus's relatives might have filled the role. They'd insisted on giving him a discount and a few people had directed thank you letters or gifts to him over something Virgil had done elsewhere in the town.

That might have been why his genetic donors were now demanding more money and explanations over just what he was doing in town so often.

They had been at least. Now shadow arms had reached from the walls to cover their mouths and wrap around their throats while Remus just looked around, frantically.

“VIRGIL!” The cry was automatic. It looked like his family were going to be suffocated and he knew the only person in town with shadow limbs was his Protector.

No matter what Remus thought of his genetic donors he didn't want their deaths.

“Yes Woodland Ivy? Is there something more you need?” Virgil stepped into the room, sneering at the people he was holding restrained.

“Loving the bondage possibilities of your shadow limbs, but kind of freaked out that you want to use them on these guys.” He stated, recognising the fear in their eyes as well as that Virgil was more annoyed, probably even angry than he'd ever been when they'd encountered each other before.

The words did nothing to get them released though, in fact they were dragged back into the wall by the hands at their throats, now making almost pleading noises.

Virgil looked over them, scowling. “Financial abuse is one that I stopped encountering at least 2 generations ago around here. Women stopped letting men control the bank accounts, even insisted on having their own and suddenly it was so much less likely to happen. Do you recognise what you've been living through, Remus?”

Remus had known his and Roman's family life wasn't good. He'd done everything he could to keep their genetic donors unaware that Roman actually earned money acting until he was already out of the house, but he had never heard that it could be a form of abuse. Looking to Virgil now he knew there was only one person in the room he actually trusted to look after his best interests and it wasn't the people who had raised him.

“Some out dated form of abuse that's far more boring than the stories of castle dungeons I've read about? I always thought it would be that stretchy thing someone went for, claiming I'm too small to have so much to say, well at least if we're looking at ancient torture techniques.” He rambled, wondering if there was a distraction that would get Virgil to let them go.

Letters being brought through from the rest of the house made that doubtful though, especially when Remus realised they were all bank statements, both his and the back currently restrained.

“When I thought there might be a reason Remus kept putting himself in harms way I never expected to find this. In fact I thought perhaps he's just got a family of adrenaline seekers or something. It's plausible after meeting Roman at least.” Virgil was muttering, but any move Remus's parents made had his shadows tightening, or more coming out to hold them even more securely. His attention was definitely not on the statements.

The Protector had never been known to kill in all the stories, reports and rumours about him. People only ever said the Protector would teach abusers fear and get the abused to safety if possible. Remus knew in that moment this wasn't the Protector but just Virgil, the man he'd found through his title and fallen for as they got to know each other. He couldn't predict or use the wild thoughts in his mind to help out now.

“Can I come with you then?” He blurted out. It was the only thing that might get the limbs to stop suffocating family he tried to distance himself from, almost as much as the family home they were all stood in.

Virgil froze at the suggestion, before throwing all but one of the statements away to wrap an arm over Remus's shoulders. “That as blunt as I've heard you be about wanting me around. You want to live with me and date me, Remus or was that all teasing.”

“I want everything you're willing to share with me, especially the dirty, the wild, and a vivid exploration of the pleasure these shadow limbs could bring.” Remus leant into it, revelling when the scared looks momentarily turned disgusted. He could finally show something of himself to these bastards without worrying about being left penniless for the month.

Virgil only gave him a quick kiss before turning back to the people before them. “Since Remus has made that decision then, my concern is what to do with you. Are you going to try and carry this on, bother Roman with claims of poverty if I let you go?” He growled out.

The pair were shaking their heads frantically and probably would have done more if they could move at all.

“Good, because we are staying in touch with him, and we will find out. Now, looking at how much you each earn, how much Remus has been putting into this account and the amount that remains in it, you owe him a hell of a lot of money. By the end of the week you'll see to it that the number written at the bottom of this statement is transferred into Remus's account, or you'll be seeing me again.” Virgil's grin was dark, his voice was low and Remus was shivering at it.

He knew he should be more focused on just how much he was about to get and the financial freedom suddenly coming to him, but was far more interested in the sexual restraints and commands his Protector might soon be giving him. It was a far more interesting thing to think about.

#dukexiety #dukexietyweek2021 #remus sanders #virgil sanders #character thomas #cw financial abuse #vague fight scenes #cw sex mentions #shadow powers virgil #Janus Sanders #roman sanders #cw assault mentions

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idreamtofmanderleyagain · 3 years

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Morality-Focused Frameworks Of Discussion As Acts of Control

This is a post in response to a larger conversation I’ve been having with @eshusplayground. I have a perspective that I think would be really relevant to the conversation but I also don’t want to derail the specific focus of the following posts she’s been making recently.

(Trigger Warning For Abuse Discussion and Brief Mentions of Rape)

---

So I’m in the Hellraiser fandom. More specifically, I’m a Pinhead/Kirsty shipper.

For those of you that don’t know, Pinhead is a demonic torturer from hell who’s design is inspired by the BDSM community. Characters who open a magical puzzle box have unknowingly given themselves away to his violent underworld community of eternal torment and depravity. Hellraiser is a film about romantic and sexual horror, and there’s quite a lot in there about abuse and trauma. Kirsty is a traumatized person, and in my personal opinion, very likely a CSA victim.

And I ship these two characters together.

So the subject matter of my particular fandom is extremely intense and niche and complicated to navigate, although YMMV (I have no trouble with this franchise, but I cannot really handle GOT or American Horror Story, for example). After I grew interested in Hellraiser and integrated into it’s fandom, my perspectives about the way we have conversations about villainous characters started to have a major shift.

I often see people have these intense conversations (and arguments) about where a particular character exists on a moral scale, with the subtext (or outright text) that if they tip too far one way or another, they can be rendered unworthy of their own subgroup of fans within their own fandom. People who love those characters or find them shippable are then subject to moral judgements.

So how does one apply such logic to a psychosexual torture demon?

The answer is you can’t.

The frameworks people online use to have these discussions do not make any sense when talking about my fandom. Hellraiser is a dark horror fairytale presenting disturbing, surreal images and behaviors in order to discuss complex and difficult experiences and perspectives. The monsters within it, like Pinhead, are more metaphor than anything.

Now, my follower count is too low and my fandom is too niche for me to really be on the receiving end of a lot of the cruelty that manifests online about the moral validity of the fiction I enjoy. That said, between the anti-kink TERFS and the younger folks involved in purity culture on this site, I can imagine exactly what it would look like. You know what they would look like.

“You’re an Abuse Apologist!”

“You’re an Abuse Fetishist!”

“You’re reinforcing sexism!”

“he’s an irredeemable torturer, you’re probably okay with literal real world rape lmao uwu”

“This is bad kink representation and you’re complicit in the abuse real men do to women because you like this!”

Now, setting aside the fact that the canon lore context of Pinhead involves him having a human soul brainwashed by a monster god to become what he is, and is also in a roundabout sense “redeemed” in canon, I think most people utilizing this kind of framework would assume that I believe Pinhead can be redeemed in the way online Discourse (tm) means it, because that’s how we talk in fandom about the villains we really like.

I do not want to redeem Pinhead. I don’t think he even needs redeeming. I don’t even see value in that conversation at all. Redemption is not a concept that makes sense for what he is, or what he could become as a character. The framework of Pinhead as a Real-World-Equivalent Human Male Abuser who Cannot Be Redeemed From His Actions would inevitably dominate all conversation, regardless of the fact that it is inherently incorrect and detrimental to real, robust literary analysis of the narrative he exists within and how brilliantly it actually interacts with male on female abuse as a subject. By nature of it’s gross oversimplification and misrepresentation, It ruins the potential for greater, more nuanced and complex conversations.

And that’s the thing: my engagement with this particular story and it’s characters has a lot to do with the potential in the narrative to examine how trauma interacts with love, desire and gender politics. Hellraiser has a very unique way of exploring that kind of subject through a storytelling aesthetic that appeals to me (horror/fairytale, gothic romance, etc).

This is about to get personal, so strap the fuck in.

I am the victim of gendered abuse, in that I had an emotionally abusive step father and sexism was absolutely a factor in why that manifested the way it did. I am also a second hand victim of gendered abuse, in that my biological father was a serial stalker and rapist, and other male abusers (or just self-centered family members) caused severe emotional destabilization in my childhood. I grew up viewing adult men as unstable, selfish children. My family endured a lot, and I came to resent the men in my mother’ life for not taking on the role of protector and nurturer when she needed them most. I had discovered the great lie of traditional masculinity: in the face of real crisis, grown men were not protectors. They did not hold together the domestic space. They abused or faltered and abandoned us. This was a repeated pattern among several men in different roles. I was often left picking up all the pieces, taking on roles as a child that these men could not. I had to have strength they did not.

My experience of desire for romantic intimacy with men and men in roles of stable, nurturing authority now inherently involves a jumbled emotional soup of fear, pain, and a deep longing that comes from a place of feminine vulnerability, a desire to be taken care of instead of being the caretaker.

The narrative of Hellraiser pushes a lot of buttons for me. It speaks to my own trauma experiences in a very specific way. In an effort to further that conversation, I’m trying to create a piece of art (a fic) inspired by the deeply personal feelings this film gives me.

For me, Pinhead represents the Jungian shadow masculine, a simultaneous mix of fear and desire, the potential for suffering and pleasure, and everything in between. These experiences are inherently intertwined for me. And Kirsty’s experiences mirror many of my own.

In other words, in order for me to get out of Hellraiser what I get out of Hellraiser, Pinhead has to be exactly what he is, and everything that he is. Which includes monstrosity. Which includes the potential for change. His place in the narrative must fully, truly embody this conversation I need to have with masculinity, which inherently involves painful, scary things.

Anybody demanding that I either denounce my interest in him as morally offensive because he’s a monster in the full sense of the word (and not just the aesthetic one like what is currently trending in Monster Boyfriend fandom), or force a traditional redemption arc upon him as if he were a real life human person who must repent for his real life sins, are essentially saying that I am not allowed to engage with this work of fiction in a way that is transformative for me. And that’s very unfortunate, because honestly, I think my perspective is so much more dynamic and has so much more to offer.

This is not just about basic catharsis. This is not even a power fantasy about emotionally transforming a powerful (white) dude, or “bad boy” fantasies, both standard arguments for villain stanning that feels like it has never truly represented me or the complexity of my experiences and interests. This is a full-on conversation and act of self expression I want to have through art about the experience of fear and trauma when dealing with men as a woman who desires men.

And I don’t think a person has to be traumatized in order to want to engage with this type of fiction. I want to be clear that my experience is not a justification for my interest (I do not need to justify myself), it is an example of a perspective that gets erased by the framework of these conversations.

To me, the framework of moral validity for enjoying fictional villains and monsters and whatever you please feels incredibly stifling to the complex, dynamic ideas and analysis that I want to engage in, because I, and many people I know, are consistently pressured to structure their thoughts with this framework as the only acceptable baseline of discussion. This is so ubiquitous that when people I’ve known have tried to engage in ways that diverge from that framework, the responses they get are outright confused or direct the conversation right back to the original framework they tried to avoid. Complex conversation gets steamrolled.

Somewhere in the conversation we were all having about acknowledging and discussing abuse and oppression, and acknowledging troubling patterns in media which reinforce the normalization of abuse and opression, some people decided that there was a very serious moral discussion to be had regarding the mere act of liking things which involve dark subject matter and complex, or even monstrous characters. They now argue that there are very clear cut, simple moral frameworks for A) telling stories and B) enjoying stories, and most importantly, that this moral framework is a valid justification for the social treatment and silencing of certain people.

A framework, by the way, which I think is actually not functionally a framework, because like the toxic American fundamentalist christian groups it’s thinking is structured from, it does not account for the vastly diverse moral landscape within it’s own space. There is no objectively consistent body of knowledge anybody is working from, because morals are derived from the human experience, which is inherently subjective.

Interestingly, no where does this have more of an impact than with marginalized people, and people like me, who want to express something deeper and more meaningful in the conversation about abuse and oppression than what this framework really offers us. To be honest, The more I see this kind of conversation making the rounds, the clearer it becomes that it’s a means of control and power game playing. It’s not about morality, but about how morality can be leveraged in order to silence truly diverse and nuanced perspectives and uphold people’s sense of self-comfort. It is a means of supplanting more convenient and easily digestible understandings of these highly complex subjects that require more intensive, thoughtful engagement, especially when it gets challenging. This kind of rhetoric absolves people of making room for complex and diverse experiences, and reinforces an (at face-value) easy to follow set of moral rules of how we are all allowed to think and feel.

The implication of all of this is that if we all adhere to the One True (alleged) Moral Framework of Fandom Engagement, then we will somehow come out on the other side with all the Good People having a Great Time having Squeaky Clean Fun. And I don’t think I should have to tell you at this point how stifling and disturbing the implications of that kind of mentality really are.

Quite frankly, I think a lot of us are very tired of constantly speaking on other people’s terms.

#abuse tw #rape tw #Fandom #Hellraiser

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ask-professor-laurel · 3 years

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Shiverwood Facilities

(This is a WIP, will probably be updated fairly frequently!)

PREFACE

This blog is a headcanon blog- it is not run as canon, and everything said is my own personal headcanons. The goal of this blog is just to explore the Pokemon world and the lore in ways that canon does not, I don’t claim anything I say to be canon or superior to anybody else’s headcanons.

This blog ignores game mechanics, as they don’t apply to the more realistic approach I’m taking here. I’m operating more under a blend of manga and anime mechanics. Storylines in the games may be acknowledged, but game mechanics (level up system, IVs and EVs, etc) are not canon to this blog.

A note from the person who runs this blog: I am by no means a medical expert, or an expert in real life animals. This is all for fun, and is just my fun way of having a blog for a self-indulgent Pokemon OC. Do not take anything I see here as real-life medical or animal handling advice- I am not a professional in any way.

(I also want to note- I was inspired by the Professor Peach blog to start my own, so shoutout to them for giving me the idea!!)

—————

What do we do?

Shiverwood Facilities itself is dedicated both to Pokemon research and Pokemon care. Our work is primarily based on Pokemon behaviour rather than on any specific Pokemon type, with our primary work being researching into a broad spectrum of Pokemon behaviours, and the care of Pokemon sent to us for care or rehabilitation. We also act as an in-between for Pokemon that need more intensive rehabilitation we can’t offer and we can often take in Pokemon that need to be removed from situations, but who don’t have someone to take them in quite yet.

On the research side of things, I (Professor Laurel) am in charge of most aspects of it. My research is centralized on Pokemon variants, the environmental causes, and the behavioural aspects. I’m also a behaviouralist myself, with a background in that sort of research, so I’m a bit of an encyclopedia on Pokemon behaviour and the habits of various species. I’m most familiar with Dragon, Grass, and Bug type Pokemon, but I can help with pretty much any typing.

Our site is equipped to deal with Pokemon that need care or minimal rehabilitation- anything more intensive we offer to just hold onto the Pokemon in question until someone more qualified can come and pick them up. Pokemon care here covers mental wellbeing and physical health- we have several behaviouralists onsite, including myself, who can get to the root of the problem and help a Pokemon emotionally, as well as trained medical staff who can deal with anything physical, be it injuries or something chronic. Our medical facilities are equivalent to a Pokemon Centre, and we often take in injured wild Pokemon for short stays before releasing them, but we’ll also help out trainers who pass by, or anyone who needs to bring in their Pokemon for a longer stay, free of charge. Any Pokemon left with us, whether found after being abandoned or being surrendered from bad situations, will most likely be rehomed, if not taken in by someone on staff.

We offer tours of the facility, as well as tours of the local habitat. These are both guided either by myself or another staff member with a capable team, just in case. Public areas are clearly marked with signs, same with warning signs for any areas that might be dangerous, and areas closed to the public. We also host a couple of events every season that serve to raise awareness of our work, Pokemon care, Pokemon wellbeing, etc for the public.

—————

Who are you sending your questions to?

Professor Arthur Laurel! That’s me- you can call me Arthur if you want, I’m not big on formalities. I’ve talked about myself already, but I’m the person who will be receiving and answering all of your questions.

I have a smaller team of Pokemon from my trainer days, and all three of them are my trusted partners and some of my very best friends.

Cloudhopper - My Dragonite. She’s been with me the longest and is my partner, gifted to me as a starter as a Dratini when I was going to set out on my Gym Challenge. She’s also a certified service Pokemon, as well as a flying Ride Pokemon. Known for being very protective, usually the one to get me out of trouble, but also very sweet and loving. She does have a wicked sense of humour, though, watch out for if she feels mischievous.

Honeybite - My Appletun. He’s larger than the average Appletun, standing at over 3 feet tall, and known for being the sweetest cuddles there ever was. He’s been with me nearly as long as Cloudhopper. Honeybite’s famous for his cuddles, but don’t underestimate him for his sweet face, he’s quite the little powerhouse when he wants to be, but luckily for us he chooses peace.

Sweetbug - My Vespiquen. She was the last addition to my team, but it’s still been a good decade of having her by my side. She’s a mother hen type between myself and her Combee hive, with a fierce protective streak that has us keeping her hive closed to the public. She often offers honey as a gift to those she cares about, so you can always tell someone’s having a good day when they’ve got a little jar of honey that they didn’t get from me.

—————

Where are we and how can you find us?

Shiverwood is a bit of an exaggeration for a name- we’re located just north of Ballonlea, near the mountains surrounding Wyndon. We’re just north of being hot and humid, and just south of being freezing, so we have some cooler weather for most of the year, although summers can get quite hot. There are designated paths through the thick forest outside of Ballonlea that lead to us, so finding your way isn’t too difficult, but for those who don’t want to travel on foot we can also be reached through Corviknight Taxi and easily spotted from the sky on a flying service Pokemon. We don’t have any water access, the only body of water being a nearby lake, as well as no train access. Walking/riding or flight are the only ways to reach us.

We’re in this area on the standard Galar map.

—————

What kind of facilities do we have?

MAIN LAB - This is the largest building, it’s the main research facility and where you’ll find me if I’m not cooped up in my lab or out in the field. It also contains a smaller medical facility equipped for minor injuries for both people and Pokemon. Mostly open to the public.

LAUREL’S LAB - Within the Main Lab building. I keep it open to the public for the most part, just know that it’s a mess most of the time, because I believe in organized chaos. My team can be interacted with here if they’re in the mood for it, so if you’ve ever wanted to hug a Dragonite, now’s your chance.

POKEMON CENTER - It’s not an official Pokemon Center, but we call it one because it’s easier. It’s equipped to handle anything from massive medical emergencies to permanent and semi-permanent residents who require more care. Also equipped for human care. We often offer supervised positions to learning medical students so that they can gain experience under the watchful eyes of our doctors. Some of it is open to the public, but the rooms are restricted to trainer and friends and family only, and surgery rooms are completely off limits.

ZEN AREA - This is a combination of a building and a bigger outdoor area. This is where the behaviouralists care for Pokemon’s mental wellbeing- think of it like therapy for Pokemon. The outdoor area is open to the public, but inside the building only the entrance is accessible. This is because inside is where Pokemon who may be volatile or aggressive are cared for, to prevent them from escaping, or harming other patients. We call it the Zen Area because it can be very soothing, patient or not.

CONTAINMENT - Where we hold the Pokemon we’re temporarily holding for someone to come collect. This area is completely closed off to the public due to the usually very aggressive or unpredictable nature of the Pokemon who stay there. This area is meant for temporary stays- it’s a sizeable enough area of the woods right at the base of the mountain, and there’s a pond in there that’s surprisingly deep. This area can handle a wide variety of Pokemon, temporarily, but it can’t handle every single species. In those cases, we relocate them to another facility as quickly as possible.

GREENHOUSES - These are the warmest places in the facility, mostly inhabited by Grass Types, but also home to quite a few Bug Types. Open to the public and plants are available for purchase, with a wide range from leafy greens to berry saplings. The Pokemon here are tamed, and can be adopted. There is one that’s closed off to the public due to the Combee hive in there, but the honey can be bought!

TRAINING FIELD - Most of us are trainers, so we have a standard battlefield set up for battling! It isn’t equipped for Dynamaxing or Gigantamaxing, but that isn’t a worry since we don’t have the means to do so in this area. Trainers are welcome to use the field for practice, and to see if any staff would like to battle with them. I’m usually up for a good battle unless I’m busy (or recovering from something), and it’s great fun to spectate during your breaks!

MIRROR LAKE - Named after the Giant’s Mirror, Mirror Lake hosts numerous Water Types that prefer the colder waters. We have a Lapras who lives there and she’s very friendly, though she’s never been captured and we don’t allow the public to ride on her. She picks and chooses on the staff who she’ll allow to ride on her back and if you try to force it, she throws you into the water. We have other trained ride Pokemon for water rides, and the shallows can be nice to dip your feet in during the hotter summer, though the water never gets above chilly temperatures.

SHIVERWOOD FOREST - Likely named during the colder winter, Shiverwood is the forest we’re built on the edge of. It’s technically still the Glimwood Tangle, but we have stronger wild Pokemon around, as well as some other species you won’t find south of Ballonlea. There are trail tours, but we generally advise not wandering into the dense forest, as it’s very easy to get lost. You’ll often be able to see the wild Sylveon and Umbreon packs, as well as some Deerling and Sawsbuck herds, lots of Impidimps and a few Morgrems and Grimmsnarls, and plenty of Zubats. If you’re lucky, you might spot a Trevenant!

MOUNTAIN TRAILS - We have several mountain trails to hike on if you don’t mind the chillier weather up there. Most of the caves have danger signs posted in front of them and we often have staff posted near them, but several caves are open and free to explore! We have a Gigalith who lives deep in the caves who comes out every once in a while and is a real sight to behold, and higher up the mountain for more experienced climbers, you may get to see a very friendly Froslass. Other than that you can expect to find Geodudes, Gravellers and Golems, more Zubats, Roggenrolas and Boldores, and most common Rock Types. If you’re very lucky in the winter, and if you’re patient and brave enough to climb up to see the Froslass, you might just see an Aurorus if you wait around long enough. She’s very elusive, but breathtaking to see. Just don’t get on the wrong side of any Abomasnow or Beartics you see up there- keep to the trails and don’t go without staff.

—————

You said events?

I did! We host a couple of events every season, raising awareness for our work and for Pokemon in need to the public. The events we host are all free and are open for everyone, and we always put out plenty of notice and signs so everyone knows!

SPRING

Shiverwood Trek - Every year, early in the spring, we put on the annual hike where everyone who shows up early in the morning joins us for a hike through the forest! We do Pokemonspotting throughout, and this is usually the time where you get to interact with a lot of wild Pokemon and see the sights that Shiverwood has to offer. This is also the only event where we go off the trails- since the foliage won’t have fully come in, it’s much easier to get through, so we always explore “new” (we explore before taking random people in for safety reasons) areas. Afterwards, there’s a lunch and then we offer the usual guided tours. I usually lead this one!

Wake-Up Call - A lot of Pokemon come out of hibernation in the spring, and after sleeping for so long, they’re quite hungry! Come on down and make up baskets of food grown here in the Greenhouses, and join us in going through the forest and setting baskets around for anyone who might need it. You’ll often get to see sleepy Pokemon stumbling around, and let me tell you, you haven’t lived till you’ve seen a sleepy Greedent fall asleep eating the basket it found.

SUMMER

Summer Barbecue Bash!! - Just what it says it is! It’s a massive barbecue party we hold from early afternoon to late into the night every summer. We team up with Kabu and other Fire Type experts to bring in Fire Types to help with the cooking, as well as putting on shows of them displaying their talents and powers. It’s a lot of fun, just remember to bring sunscreen!

Scavenger Hunt - This one’s more meant for the younger ones, but we host a big scavenger hunt in the easy forest trails and the easy mountain trails for people to complete! Everybody gets a prize for finishing, but first free to finish get a bigger prize just as a bit of incentive. This usually brings out the families, a lot like the barbecue bash, and is a lot of fun to set up and help out with. Staff get to be wonderfully cryptic and unhelpful (unless it’s with the little ones- we’re a bit more helpful there) and it’s good to get out into the sun for a bit. We hold this one a couple times throughout the summer.

FALL

Fall Forage - As fall comes in, a lot of local plant life starts to wither for the colder weather. Right at the beginning, we lead people around for foraging, and anything they find they can choose to donate to us or take home for free. There’s a lot of Pokemonspotting to be had, a lot of exploring, and at the end of the day we take some of what we’ve found and we make a big community pot of soup! That’s become a tradition for the forage over the years, and it’s probably my favourite part after spending the whole day gathering plants in the chilly weather.

Sawsbuck Sendoff - Every year in the fall, the Sawsbuck and Deerling herds that live in the area migrate towards the mountains for the winter. They come through the area in big herds, and this lasts usually 2 - 3 days. This started off as something unofficial, but the popularity of it led to us advertising it as a sendoff, where we all gather and watch the Sawsbuck and Deerling herds migrate. You can also help clearing their way with us if you want, it’s a volunteer operation and we repay you with food, but you basically just help us clear the way and set up food and water stations, plus you might see some early groups come through! Can’t go up to the herds for safety reasons, but watching them is quite beautiful, and very rewarding to see your hard work pay off when they eat the food you set out for them.

WINTER

Into the Unknown - Named a bit dramatically, because we definitely know where we’re going, but winter’s event is cave exploring! This is the only time of year we open up some of the more restricted caves, and we take people deep into the caves to explore. We check them all out in advance, of course, to ensure safety, but this is the one and only opportunity a year to get into some of these caves and explore deeper into the mountain. This is another one I tend to lead, and it’s great fun, but it’s also got a lot of hands on deck and on standby just in case. A lot of prep goes into this one and honestly, it’s probably my favourite event to host! There’s hidden waterfalls, glittering caves, and this is the only way you’ll see some Pokemon like Noibats, Noiverns, and some elusive Ghost and Dark Types.

Winter Harvest - We do this one a few times throughout the winter. Winter Harvest is when we take what we’ve been growing in the Greenhouses and the public can come help us make food packages that we donate to Pokemon shelters, and to families in need. This one usually has a big turnout and it’s a great environment all around; just people helping each other and drinking hot chocolate. I participate every year, and help with the deliveries along with staff and volunteers.

Besides those, we also host regular adoption events. People can come through anytime to see if they’d like to adopt any of the Pokemon we hold here, though we do have fairs on a regular basis to promote the facility’s adoption services.

You can also find some courses here- we offer them to anybody looking to learn, no age limit (just a minimum; 16), but they can be very helpful when applying for certain lines of work. I also offer referrals and letters of recommendation as a professor, and the staff are also qualified to do the same as medical experts and behaviouralists.

—————

FAQ

Q: What kind of questions can I ask?

A: Anything and everything! I’ll always answer to the best of my ability, be it behaviour, medical, or just you wanting my thoughts on a certain species or concept. I’ll always be sure to be clear when my answers are uncertain, theoretical, or if I just don’t know. But anything you want to ask, ask away!

Q: Can I come to you for medical advice?

A: Within the Pokemon world? Absolutely! If you’re looking for real-life medical advice from the author of this blog, who is an arts student who works part-time retail, you are not going to find anything helpful!

Q: Why is my question taking a while to get answered?

A: I (both myself and Arthur) get very busy! I check this blog whenever I can, but I don’t always answer right away because my answers require time for me to sit down and think it out. I answer every ask I receive (unless it’s really weirdly personal or if there’s clearly something really bad about it- then it’ll be deleted) and I do so as quickly as I can, but I pride myself on quality answers, so it might take me a bit!

Q: Do you hand out starter Pokemon?

A: Not in the way you think! We do adopt Pokemon out, but we’re not like, say Professor Oak. Adopting a Pokemon out here, even to a child, involves a screening process of the adopter (anyone over 18 and if younger than 18, their legal guardian(s)), and a lot of paperwork. We have to make sure everything is going to work out, after all! But we don’t just hand a new trainer a Pokemon, no.

Q: Can I leave my Pokemon there for a short while?

A: Absolutely! We don’t have a designated daycare area, but we will ensure your Pokemon gets the best care and stays in the area best suited to them. Feel free to leave them with us, but we do ask that it not be long, so try to come get them within 10 days unless you give us notice it will be a longer period. While you’re away, your Pokemon will be allowed to roam (with supervision) in any area that best suits it, and I’ll personally assure you that staff are more than happy to keep our Pokemon guests company, haha :)

4 notes · View notes

panharmonium · 4 years

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Hey, do you ship merthur? I have conflicted feelings about it because Merlin does love Arthur but also their relationship is kinda shitty.

short answer: i do not

longer answer: i might not be the right person to ask about this, because i don’t really “ship” anything? it’s not how i engage with fandom. (disclaimer: this is not a value judgment of folks who do engage with fandom that way. just an explanation of how my own brain works.)

extra long answer: under the cut, because i suppose it was only a matter of time before someone asked me about merlin/arthur, and i might as well put my entire response in one place so that next time, i can just link to it.

questions like this are a little tough for me to answer, because i am completely uninterested in romance as a premise. if it’s not there, i don’t care. if it is there, i often wish it weren’t, because it’s almost never developed in a way that lives up to my standards. i don’t always mind if something contains romantic relationships (provided they’re written well), but i don’t want them to be the point of a story. i honestly cannot think of anything less interesting to me than a story that has as its main plotline “x character falls in love with y character.” for me, in my brain, it’s like, “okay...that’s it? do you have anything else to say?” there is literally nothing about that that i care about.

this can be a little difficult to navigate in fandom, because one of the oft-heard commendations of “fandom” is ‘gosh, fandom is so wonderful, we can watch the same two characters fall in love again and again and again in a million different scenarios!’ which is true, for the people who care about that sort of thing, but that’s not actually ‘fandom.’ that’s shipping. and there’s nothing wrong with shipping, but shipping and fandom are not the same thing, and they’ve become so conflated that it can be very difficult to engage in the latter without being absolutely swamped by the former.

many times, for me, fandom can feel synonymous with shipping. there was a post i reblogged recently whose tags described shipping as often feeling like a prerequisite to engaging with fandom, and that is often what it feels like to me, particularly in fandoms where one ship is so ubiquitous that any and all other material is utterly dwarfed by it in scale. (for me, my last two major fandoms have been merlin and teen wolf, so - i’m sure you see my dilemma, heh.)

all of that said, in terms of arthur and merlin specifically...

disclaimer: everything i say here is relevant to me only. these are my own feelings. i am making this post on my own blog, in my own space, in response to a question about my own thoughts. i do not want, expect, or need anyone else to share these thoughts. any commentary i make about fandom trends is not equivalent to condemnations of individual people’s opinions or shipping habits. i do not mind or take issue with folks who ship these two characters. i am glad you are having fun. please do not @ me about something you disagree with. i promise you it is not necessary.

okay. with that out of the way.

part of me is reluctant to expound further on this question, because my personal philosophy is that merlin and arthur as a ship have had more than enough time and space devoted to them in this fandom (way more than their share, frankly) and i generally prefer to focus on merlin and the other people in his life, as a deliberate counter to that. but, since you asked, and because i have been experiencing the “i’m tired of romance” bug more strongly lately, here is the long-form version.

the number one reason why i don’t ship arthur and merlin is what i already outlined above: i don’t really “ship” anything. i have never looked at two characters who were not already together/on an obvious potential path to being together and said “i want them to fall in love.” that has just never happened to me. (again - it’s not a BAD thing to have this happen, it’s just not something that’s ever happened to me. i can’t relate to the experience.)

therefore, when i do appreciate a romantic relationship, it’s pretty much always because canon has shown me something romantic (or clearly pre-romantic) that i find to be well-written and compelling. (it’s rare - as i outlined before, i would usually rather not deal with romance at all - but it happens.)

arthur and merlin, then, never had that effect on me, because arthur and merlin, as depicted in the canon, are not in love.

[to anybody reading this who just snatched up their keyboard and started furiously typing, i beg you - please go back and re-read my disclaimer.]

they’re not in love. the truth about these two is that if i had watched this show without having grown up in fandom as a culture (and without knowing exactly what kind of ships fandom immediately sees EVERYWHERE) the idea of anybody shipping these two together would never have even entered my mind.

(and like. because i DID grow up in fandom, and i DO know exactly what kind of ships fandom sees everywhere, i knew before i even started this show that arthur/merlin was going to be an inescapable thing. but that would not have been the case, if i had watched the series in a world where i didn’t know what fandom was.)

arthur and merlin, in canon, are not in love. the show never does anything to give me an inkling that either of them are harboring romantic feelings for each other. that is never what is happening onscreen. literally the last thing on merlin’s agenda is romantic attachment, ever, and arthur is never, ever shown to be in love with anyone who isn’t gwen. the show, onscreen, never tricks me, teases me, or leads me on. i was never under the impression that merlin and arthur were in love with each other, because they weren’t.

but that DOES NOT MEAN their relationship matters less. just because they aren’t IN love with each other doesn’t mean they don’t love each other, and one of those things is not bigger or better or more powerful than the other.

i struggle a lot in fandom (all fandom, not just merlin) with the persistent idea that romantic attachment is the peak, the natural endpoint on a scale of “how deep is your love?” i am constantly running up against posts where the commonly accepted structure is to cite a moment of devotion or caring or some instance of basic connection between two characters, and then add a caption or tag saying ‘because they are JUST FRIENDS, right?’ or ‘^^totally platonic interaction between characters who are not at all in love, sure jan.’

and honestly? i hate that. that is one of my least favorite things about fandom. it makes me so tired.

i am completely disconnected from this idea that there are like...things you can do that are too caring to count as friendship. like - that there is too much devotion you can show, and if you go over the limit, then it’s laughable that you would do those things for “just” a friend. that’s so unpleasant to me.

(and i do think [when it comes to non-canon queer ships, anyway - straight ships unfortunately have no excuse, sorry y’all] that part of this probably has its roots in pushback at the tendency of people who try to “gal pal” actual queer ships (or literal real life relationships), so this, at least, is something i can understand. i’m queer myself; i get that. and that is why i will never like - attach myself to someone’s post and start complaining. people can vent however they want.)

it doesn’t change my own feelings, though. i hate seeing every meaningful friendship i’ve ever been invested in talked about like it’s just a romance in disguise.

other things: i am uninterested in romance as a motivator.

truly, from the bottom of my heart, i don’t care.

we are, at least in my corner of the world, oversaturated with romance, to the point where any piece of media that doesn’t include it in some fashion is shockingly bizarre. it is EVERYWHERE. it is in EVERYTHING. i cannot pick up a book without running into a romantic plotline. i cannot watch a movie or a tv show without being forced into multiple romances that i don’t care about. (rare exceptions apply, as always, but i’m speaking generally.)

this oversaturation, for me, means that romance as a storyline no longer holds any meaning for me. i see it EVERYWHERE. it is in literally EVERYTHING. making merlin into a “love story,” for me, makes the show so much less interesting, because there are billions of love stories out there. love stories are practically the only kind of story our media remembers how to tell! why would i take a story that is so unique in its exploration of deep friendship (that isn’t even quite friendship, because it’s not real, but merlin wants it to be real, but making it real would also destroy it) and loyalty (that isn’t necessarily deserved, but is still offered, but is damaging to the person offering it) and love (that exists in spite of arthur’s position as the oppressor, but still cannot erase merlin’s oppression, and is patently not a magical fix for the very real problems merlin is facing), and then want to water it down to “and then they fell in love”???

merlin bbc has so much to say about the transformative, redemptive power of love (not just romance), and the bonds we form with each other despite the fact that we don’t always deserve each other, and what we can do to make ourselves better, and how do we make amends for the ways in which we hurt the people we care about, and it is so complicated and there is so much beauty there and i adore it specifically because it is one of the rare pieces of media out there that doesn’t prop up romantic love as the most important and powerful force in the universe. romantic love is not what moves the story. merlin’s love for the people around him is based on compassion. it’s bigger than the familiar and overused ‘i am desperately in love with this one individual person and that’s what drives my actions,” which is a premise all of us know has been done to death. merlin’s love is not about romantic attachment. it’s a deep, abiding love for humanity. it’s based on hope, and faith, and the inherent belief that everybody matters, even in their worst moments.

condensing that kind of story into “and then they fell in love” erases its meaning for me. it makes it trite. uninteresting. i have seen “and then they fell in love” fully sixty thousand times. “and then they fell in love” has been done so often that it is utterly devoid of power for me. boring. i literally do not care.

other people might feel differently, and find a romantic love story compelling. i don’t.

i’m guessing the message that prompted this essay is asking me to evaluate how i feel about the “goodness” of the merlin/arthur ship, aka whether it’s worthwhile to ship it or not based on how healthy/unhealthy it is, which i definitely can’t answer, because i don’t think whether it’s “good” or not really matters. i am definitely too old to be riding the newer wave of, uh...idk, purity culture type stuff that is so oft-debated on here, lately.

but you’re absolutely right, anon - merlin and arthur’s relationship IS kinda shitty! it 100% is. it doesn’t mean you can’t ship them, though, if you want; otherwise i wouldn’t be invested in any aspect of their friendship, either.

the fact that merlin and arthur’s relationship is kinda shitty is an essential element of the show; it’s the microcosmic representation of the macrocosmic problem merlin is trying to solve, and even with that being the case, we can see clearly that this also doesn’t preclude them from having real moments of connection and care and love. this is the contradiction i have to keep in mind whenever i engage with them in the friendship sense - merlin has been wronged by arthur in so many ways, and yet he still loves him and believes arthur can do better, and yet his dedication to arthur really does destroy his life piece by piece, and you really have to walk a line between those extremes and be thinking: in what ways was this a noble, honorable path for merlin to take and in what ways was this damaging, and was it all worth it in the end?

we probably wouldn’t still be watching this show if we didn’t ultimately think the answer to that last question was yes. but there are also equally valid ways in which the answer is, truthfully, no, and i think really the only important thing when dealing with merlin and arthur’s relationship (in whatever capacity you prefer) is to keep that dissonance in mind.

so, to more directly address your question, when it comes to my interaction with the source material, i don’t ship merlin and arthur romantically because i don’t see romance when they interact in canon, and i don’t think their relationship could be improved or made more interesting/more meaningful by adding extra-canonical romance into the mix. that’s really it.

but the other side of things is this: even if i were granted someone else’s ship-goggles to somehow see romance between these two (eg, once, in the distant past i read a harry potter fic that was so well-constructed it sold me on a relationship i didn’t [and still don’t] actually see in canon), i still wouldn’t choose to ship merlin and arthur, and it’s not because they’re a “bad” ship (no such thing, folks - tag your stuff and let people live their lives, thank you), it’s because this fandom has already been swallowed by them and i cannot bring myself to make that imbalance worse.

trying to be in the merlin fandom without shipping merlin and arthur is just...a little bit difficult sometimes. i think probably even people who do ship merlin/arthur are aware of that. sometimes it can feel like merlin/arthur is a given in this fandom, not one of many options - as if you’re not in the merlin fandom, but rather the merthur fandom, and you know you really, really do not belong there.

and it’s not even a canonical ship! it’s not even real. and yet if you like this show, and you want to engage in the fandom, your experience is, without exception, going to be chock full of merlin/arthur content by default.

essentially, my struggle with the merlin/arthur dynamic in fandom is two-fold:

1) the strikingly imbalanced content distribution

the merlin fandom, in terms of content distribution, is a pretty accurate mirror of merlin’s own existence, to be honest, in that pretty much every aspect of it is eventually taken over by arthur pendragon, and in that there’s a reasonable debate to be had about whether or not that’s a good thing.

(spoiler alert: it’s not.)

even so, it is what it is, and as i said before, me commenting on fandom trends is not meant as a condemnation of individual preferences. people like what they like! that’s just how things are. shipping arthur and merlin isn’t a Bad thing to do, by any means, and the fact that so many people do is just, you know, bad luck for me, lol. but at the same time, the wildly unbalanced distribution of content does make it more difficult for folks who don’t ship merlin/arthur to engage in fandom with quite the same level of ease, and even though it’s nobody’s fault, it is still perfectly reasonable for people who don’t ship merlin/arthur to be frustrated about that.

fanfic is a pretty good case study for how this plays out. i saw a post a while back that was titled something like ‘merlin bbc gothic,’ and the first bullet point was “canon ships are rarepairs,” and HOO BOY, that is true. stats-wise, merlin/arthur makes up ⅔ of the merlin fic on AO3. ~25,000 fics. the next most popular tag after merlin/arthur is arthur/gwen, but arthur/gwen have ~2,900 fics in their tag. and when you remember to exclude any instance of merlin/arthur from the arthur/gwen tag, that number drops by another thousand, to ~1,940.

that’s buckwild. come on. merlin/arthur has twenty-three THOUSAND more fics than the next most popular (and CANONICAL, i might add) ship? and every other ship’s numbers are even lower than that?*

and if you don’t want to read shippy stuff in the first place, like me - the merlin “gen” tag has less than 8000 fics in it, by comparison, and then you STILL have to filter merlin/arthur out of the gen fics, leaving you with about 6300 - which number has to be filtered down further to remove OTHER ships that still make it past the gen filter.

in comparison to 25,000.

like. i’ve been in fandom long enough that i’m not surprised - mean, i came into merlin directly off a teen wolf phase, and boy, that’s a whole other bowl of noodles right there, with added squick factors that are irrelevant here - but i’m still just...man.

it still makes my head spin. and it is still frustrating, every time.

*(there is a lot more to be said about how gwen fits into all of this, and i know it has been discussed more thoroughly in other places, but yes, another reason i am leery of arthur/merlin as a thing is that i’m just...not super comfortable with what that implies for gwen and her position in the story. even if i personally am slightly more compelled by gwen/lancelot, technically - i still don’t quite feel comfortable taking gwen out of her canonical place. she belongs at the top. she deserves to be the love interest and she deserves to be the queen. and like - people can say that her relationship with arthur isn’t “developed” or “convincing” enough to warrant retaining in fic, and i get it, the show really did fail gwen in S5 - but i still don’t buy that argument. people literally INVENTED a romantic relationship for themselves and put 25,000 fics worth of effort into building it up; there is no reason why an “underdeveloped” canon romance couldn’t have gotten the same treatment. except, of course, for the fact that one [Black, female] character was being shoved aside to make way for yet another two white dudes.)

(and i’m not saying that everyone is doing this deliberately or maliciously. but we all know this is a cross-fandom trend. there is literally no reason for the gap in content to be THAT wide. a canon relationship with twenty-three thousand fewer fics than an invented ship? just...that is a stat that bears thinking about. it doesn’t mean that merlin/arthur is a “bad” ship, or that you can’t prefer lancelot/gwen, but it IS still important to recognize these patterns where they occur, across fandoms, and to really think about what they mean.)

2) the arthur-goggles

my second struggle with merlin/arthur in fandom is the ubiquitousness of the arthur-goggles, aka: the tendency in fandom, as in canon, to make everything in merlin’s life about arthur, and everything in the show about merthur.

this one specifically really gets to me. i am very committed to the idea that merlin is a complete individual, whether arthur is there or not. i write a LOT of meta about merlin being a whole person, specifically pushing back on the idea that merlin was “born” for arthur’s benefit - my motto is basically that “merlin’s life does not revolve around arthur pendragon,” and the way his life begins to revolve around arthur pendragon in later seasons is not in fact touching or romantic or beautiful; it’s a tragedy. merlin does not exist only in the context of his relationship with arthur; he possesses worth outside of his mission to save the prince of camelot, and he was already a complete person before he ever met the prince of camelot, and one of the many issues we have to think about when dealing with arthur and merlin in any capacity is how merlin is told from the get-go that he is supposed to devote his whole life to arthur, but arthur is never given any such reciprocal responsibility.

merlin and arthur’s relationship, just like the distribution of content in this fandom, is wildly imbalanced. merlin spends all of his spare time thinking about arthur’s life; he ties himself in knots trying to help arthur develop as a person. he is constantly working to keep arthur safe and happy. but arthur, at the end of a long day, doesn’t spend his nights agonizing over how he can improve merlin’s life. he just goes home and goes to bed. he never once thinks, ‘my purpose on this earth is to serve and support my friend merlin.’ he is never told his life isn’t his own, that he is supposed to be one half of some two-sided coin. only merlin is told that his entire existence is earmarked for someone else, that his life’s purpose is to be someone else’s better half. only merlin is expected to devote his entire being to someone else’s betterment. only merlin is expected to say demeaning, self-abnegating things like “i was born to serve you.”

arthur, by contrast, is allowed to have a life of his own. he is allowed to exist on his own terms. he is never told that his worth is dependent on how well he can prop someone else up. and while fic might like to imagine merlin being the most important thing in arthur’s life, in canon that is just not the case.

merlin exists on his own merits, and the idea that he does everything he does just because “he’s in love with arthur” will never sit right with me, because it’s simply not true. merlin and arthur’s relationship is important to both of them, yes, and of course it is undergirded by deep love and care, but it is also way more complicated than that. merlin’s investment in arthur’s life - and his grief at arthur’s death - are NOT solely driven by his love for arthur as an individual; they are inextricably bound up with a sense of obligation and duty and self-worth and, eventually, failure, because he’s been told that protecting arthur is a) the only thing that matters about his own life and b) the only way to free his people and save an entire kingdom. and i think ignoring this very real complexity in favor of “merlin does what he does and feels what he feels because he’s in love with arthur” cheapens the depth of the story and flattens merlin’s character.

arthur-goggles automatically make everything about merlin/arthur, though. so the difficulty, for me, with merlin/arthur as a ship, is that it can be hard to make/find things about merlin that people don’t instantly, always try to link back to arthur in some way. merlin is not allowed to have things that are just his, and he can’t exist in a state where arthur doesn’t somehow factor in - no matter how unrelated to arthur something is, or how non-shippy it’s meant to be - there’s someone out there who’s going to loop it back to merthur in some way.

just like - scattered examples of things I’ve encountered:

all of merlin’s non-arthur love interests on AO3 having massive chunks of their ship tags actually being merthur fics, with the non-arthur ship serving solely as a stepping stone on the way to getting merlin and arthur together

readers, on fics that are specifically designated as focusing on merlin+someone else and in which arthur does not appear, leaving comments asking “so how long until arthur shows up,” “can’t wait to see arthur,” etc

meta about how ‘merlin’s time in camelot was actually really bad for him as a person’ being reblogged and modified by someone else with an addition like “but merlin doesn’t regret a second of it because he wouldn’t have known arthur if he were anywhere else,” and the OP having to reblog their own post and explain that this is literally the exact problem they were trying to critique

in fic, merlin’s friends being utilized only as vessels with whom he can have discussions about his developing relationship with arthur

etc etc

it’s not always huge egregious things, but wearing arthur-goggles means EVERYTHING comes back to merthur in some way, which for me is just...really insulting to other characters, and really limiting in terms of story analysis.

so, for example - this is a VERY specific example that few will relate to, because i am probably the only person on here who has ever tried to search the tag for merlin’s friend will from ealdor (a niche fave of mine) - but with him, especially, it is very hard to avoid bumping into a lot of people wearing arthur-goggles, because everybody seems to imagine him as merlin’s ex, who is only upset about what’s going on in 1.10 because he’s jealous about arthur appearing alongside merlin, never mind that will and merlin have known each other since birth and have a relationship that LITERALLY predates arthur by two decades.

so with him, as an example - the other day, i saw some post in the tag that was like “will gets teary when arthur makes his inspirational speech in ealdor because he finally understands what merlin sees in arthur and he can’t be mad anymore”

and that is just patently untrue. it is not even remotely close to a legitimate interpretation of what is happening in that scene. will hasn’t come around to arthur’s way of thinking yet; he literally still packs his things and leaves after this happens, and he is - i mean, first of all, he’s not crying, lol, and he stalks out of that scene weary, angry, and fed up, because he thinks the village is delusional and all of his neighbors are going to get killed in the morning. his arc - his dissatisfaction with what is going on, his anger at the ignorance arthur wields as a nobleman with all of that wealth and privilege, his resistance to the big “let’s fight kanen’s men with sticks” plan - that is about him and his history and who he is. it is not about an (imaginary) merlin/arthur love story.

but when the arthur-goggles are on, all roads lead to merthur. even when the other characters in question (*coughWILLIAMcough*) would be beyond mortified to have merthur, of all things, assigned as their motivation.

SO. now that i’ve gone over both the canon and fandom aspects of my reasoning, the succinct summary in response to your question is just that no, i don’t personally ship merlin/arthur. because:

a) i don’t see it b) the fandom is already trying to drown me with it and i choose to center other characters out of spite c) i just think merlin deserves better lol

however, as i said in my disclaimer - that doesn’t mean other people shouldn’t ship and enjoy it! merlin/arthur is very much not my cup of tea, but that’s no reason why other folks can’t have fun with it. i think the best portrayals of it, probably, will be those that keep in mind exactly what you said - that merlin and arthur’s relationship is “kinda shitty” - but this is fandom, so if what folks really want to write is just lots of happy AU’s with no issues, then they should go for it! the point of fandom is to have fun connecting with people over a shared love of something, so i am happy to let others have fun doing their thing, and i will just be over here doing mine. 🙂

#thanks for the question!#hope this is helpful #fyi to everyone else; this is the most space i will EVER devote to this subject so #wave goodbye as it flies past!#XD #the once and future slowburn #meta #(sort of? fandom analysis? idk)

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #328

okay i’m going the fuck to bed now. @_@

Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? No; the only time I ever will will possibly be my wedding, if even then. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I think I'm capable, but I don't believe it will happen. Who’s the last person you video-chatted with? My therapy group via Zoom. Do ski lifts make you nervous or do you like them? Never been in one, but they seem cool. Have you ever had dandruff? I have dandruff AND a dry scalp. Nice combo. Do you think sleeve tattoos look trashy? Please explain to me how ANY tattoo inherently equates to being "trashy." I actually love sleeve tats. Have you ever gone through a phase of crushing on EVERYONE? No. I experienced a few crushes my freshman year of high school, but they weren't just anybody. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? I may or may not get a tattoo of Darkiplier doing his i c o n i c debut smile somewhere, but idk. I already have one tattoo related to Mark and would kill for another with his handwriting, so having three would be a bit... wild, haha. Do you have any stickers on any of your electronic devices? No. Do you like the smell of men’s colognes better than woman’s perfumes? Usually. Can you remember what you last clapped for? Yes; everyone in group clapped for one of the women taking a big step against her agoraphobia. Is your hair damaged? No, it's actually super healthy. Are you in charge of cleaning anything in your household? The litterbox and my room in general. Ever carved/written anything on a park bench? No. Most interesting place you’ve ever visited? Chicago was a big shock to me. I am FAR from used to cities that incredible and stocked. Do you keep your eyebrows more thick or thin? I don't groom them, so they're on the thicker end. Do you always wear a bra? Not at home and if there's no company. Do your shoulder blades protrude? No. Have you ever won on one of those grabber machine things? Yeah, a few times. Are you gonna French kiss your hubby at your wedding? Who says I'm marrying a man? But whatever, no. Keep that behind closed doors. How many bananas have you ever eaten in a row? No more than two. I usually don't even have two. Have you ever had sex outside? No. Have you ever been outside naked? No. Have you ever been in a shrubbery maze? No. You ever like someone who liked you back, but didn’t want a relationship?: That's pretty much where I'm at now. Have you ever fallen for someone who didn’t feel the same? No. Are you financially stable? No. Mom can barely afford rent right now; I had to pay it last month with gifted money. Are you emotionally stable? hunny Do you think kids these days are growing up too quickly? I kinda think so, yeah. It's funny how different kids are now compared to when I was whatever age they are. I try to be open-minded about it, though; times change, and I don't expect my generation to be the only "right" way to have grown up. I just think kids are chasing the power of "maturity" with much more vigor. Are you a rebel? Not really. Do you like when people use proper grammar on the Internet? Yeah. I like conversing with people who type just how they talk, like me. Have you ever driven or been a passenger on a motorcycle? Neither. I don't want to ride one. Do you use standard time, or 24 hour time? Standard time. Do you enjoy NASCAR? "HE'S MAKIN ANOTHER LEFT TURRRRRRN!" Lol no, I really don't. Who is the most fascinating person you’ve met? Probably Sara, honestly. What amazing adventures have you been on? What's this "adventure" you speak of? What would you do if had enough money to not need a job? Lots of traveling with my camera, still selling art anyway. What TV series do you keep coming back to and re-watching? None. What would your perfect vacation look like? Y'know, one of those glass dome ceiling cabin... things in the mountains with Sara would be so, SO cool. So much nature for us to explore. What are some obscure things that you are or were really into? Most of my interests honestly, haha. The strangest is probably "vulture culture," in which the remains (typically the bones) of a naturally deceased wild animal are basically recycled for some sort of artistic purpose. You could consider my roadkill photography an example. What are some things everyone should try at least once? I dunno, man. Depends on what you're into. What would your perfect morning be like? Cuddles with an s/o watching some funny videos or something like that to get in some morning laughter. What are you always game for? Video games, haha. What do you do to unwind? Watch YouTube. What’s your favorite piece of furniture you’ve ever owned? I don't have a fave. What would be the best city to live in? I don't want to live in a city. What would you like to know more about, but haven’t had the time to look into it? Time isn't an issue; I just haven't. There's lots of stuff. I'm a very curious person. How have you changed from when you were in high school? I'm less depressed, but more confused, scared, and much less motivated. Imagine a chicken wandering around with its head chopped off. Where is the most fun place around where you live? Nothing, really... Where would your friends or family be most surprised to find you? Like, a strip club or something. What’s expensive but totally worth it? This depends on what's important to you. For me, a quality DSLR camera. When do you feel most out of place? Whenever I'm some place fancy. What’s the most recent thing you’ve done for the first time? No idea. What small seemingly insignificant decision had a massive impact on your life? Accepting Jason's friend request on Facebook because I thought it was a different Jason I actually knew. What did you do last summer? Nothing, just stayed indoors trying not to melt into a sizzling puddle. What are you most grateful for? My mom. What’s the most essential part of a friendship? Trust, maybe. When was the last time you walked for more than an hour? Many, many years ago when I used to walk outside for hours with my iPod. All modesty aside, what are you better at than 90% of people? It doesn’t have to be useful or serious, it can be something ridiculous. 90% is a lot, man. Maybe bonding with animals? What’s the strangest phone conversation you’ve ever had? I don’t know. What do you like but are kind of embarrassed to admit? If I'm embarrassed by it, I have no interest in sharing it. What skill or ability have you always wanted to learn? Even just a smidge of social skills. What’s the best meal you’ve ever had? Probably the spicy shrimp fritas at Olive Garden. I adore those sooooooooo so much. Where was your favorite place to go when you were a kid? The zoo. We didn't go often at all, but I would frequently nag Mom about going. What’s something that most people haven’t done, but you have? Fed a freshly severed rat to a vulture. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I wanna go back to that bird rescue... What says the most about a person? How they treat others. What machine or appliance in your house aggravates you the most? The dryer. It can take a few rounds to fully dry something. What places have you visited that exceeded your expectations? Chicago, that I actually remember. Disney World probably did, but I was just a little kid and only have faint memories of the trip. What’s the worst advice someone has given you? I don't know. Besides your home and your work, where do you spend most of your time? People leave their houses? What are your top 3 favorite things to talk about? Mark, meerkats, and video games. When you were a kid, what seemed like the best thing about being a grown up? No one could tell me no for "stupid" reasons. What’s the strangest way you’ve become friends with someone? Strange way? I haven't got a clue. What’s your favorite band NAME (not necessarily your favorite band)? Maybe Cradle of Filth. Badass metal name. There are a lot of good ones, though. What’s your favorite thing to do outdoors? Take pictures of flowers or animals. How often do you dance? Silly/ironic dancing counts. Essentially never. Who besides your parents taught you the most about life? Jason, I guess. What’s been the most significant plot twist in your own life? The breakup that I thought was physically impossible, entirely unfathomable. Where did you take family vacations to when you were younger? We didn't really go on vacations. If you could instantly receive a Ph.D. in any discipline including all the knowledge and experience that goes along with it, what would your Ph.D. be in? Biology. What are the top three social situations you try to avoid most? Anywhere where I have to speak publicly; parties/get-togethers involving people I don't know; anywhere that is extremely crowded. Just social situations in general, really... What friendship you’ve had has impacted you the most? My friendship with Sara. What’s something you’re interested in that most people wouldn’t expect? Uhhh I don't know, really. What’s the hardest you’ve worked for something? My recovery from the breakup. What took you way too long to figure out? The only person who had any right to control my happiness and will to live was myself. What nicknames have you had throughout your life? If you include online ones as well, there's Britt, Britt-Britt, Twinkie, Bee, Flower, Ruby, Mozart2, Ozz(y), Alessa, and uhhh... I wanna say that's it? What do you do differently than most people? I deconstruct my breakfast biscuits to eat one part at a time... haha. Where’s the last place you’d ever go? Prison. What fact floored you when you heard it? That my dad did some hard drugs before us kids were born. I was entirely speechless. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin? Yeah, it doesn't bother me. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Does weed smell good? Or no? Ugh, no. It smells awful. Do you blow dry your hair or do you let it air out? Air dry. Do you catch lizards? No; I don't like the idea of catching wild animals just to pick up and check out. That poor critter is terrified. I'd rather just take pictures of it and let it go about its day. Would you rather get a big tattoo or small tattoo? I want my next tattoo to be a big'n. How many pills do you take every morning? I absolutely do not want to count. A whole lot. What was the last parade you went to? /shrug What theme would you choose for a baby’s nursery? If I was hypothetically having kids, let's see. A son, absolutely dinosaurs. A daughter, maybe meadowy with baby animals. My baby blanket was full of baby animals, so it'd be kinda cute, that connection. What color would you paint a baby girl’s nursery? Not because of gender norms, but by personal choice, pastel pink. Does your first crush know that he/she was your first crush? No. What is the last thing you missed out on that you wanted to go to? Hm. Who do you wish were your best friend? I am perfectly happy with who already is my best friend. Who do you wish you could go on another date with? She knows. Who was the last friend of yours to have a baby, and what’s the baby’s name? I'm not sure, but my high school friend Megan is due to have her daughter Persephone soon! She won the naming game. Like damn, how badass would it feel for your name to be Persephone. Do you have a favorite M&M? Just the classic ones. Is it easy to make you cry? OHHHHH YES IT IS. Have you ever snuck out? Nah. Who was the last person to comment you? On Facebook? My friend Lyndsey commented on a photo I shared. What song reminds you of being in middle school? "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by A Day To Remember is the anthem for going through puberty in school and trying to figure yourself out. What was the first thing you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. What’s something really basic that you’re terrible at? Cooking. Are you pale or tan? I'm very pale. When’s the last time you were kissed? On the lips, like two or so years ago. Do you like the movie Grease? Never seen it, actually. What’s your favorite Jim Carrey movie? The Mask, probably. What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? I think a fawn. Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? No. What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? I meeeaaan... Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? Yes and yes. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? Well, it's complicated. I don't, but I also want to be a freelance photographer, so I kinda would. I like the idea of having an office in my house purely for productive activities to prevent becoming lazy because I'd be at home. Would you ever be an organ donor? I am one.

#survey #surveys #questions

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safitheartist · 4 years

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Here is the real issue and why a lot of people feel upset

Pokemone Sword and Shield doesn't feel like a upgrade to the pokemon franchise. At least not a big enough one to justify buying a whole new system.

With each new consol it always felt like there was a genuine upgrade to the Pokemon franchise that took advantage of the capabilities of the system they are on.

Like think about it.

With Ruby and Saphire for example we got:

Two separate evil teams depending on the version you get, impressive new graphics that felt approprite for the Advance while keeping the recognizeable pokemon style, new ways to explore the over world, contests, weather effects, being able to go under water with dive, some of the most creative puzzels in the pokemon franchise to date.

Getting a Advance for this game was something people actually felt was worth it.

Then there is Diamond and Pear which not only expanded on some of the features introduces in Ruby, Saphire and Emerald but also brought in their own inovations like pokemon with varrying forms, the implimatation of the touchscreen and microphone by giving the player usefull little gadgets down there (Map with your berries on, step counter for breeding purposes etc.) First introduction of the idea that pokemon can follow you outside of their balls which was futher expanded on in HGSS, one of the most memorable extensions of the pokemon mythos with the addition of Dialga, Palkia, Arcuse and Giratina. A clear narrative connection between it and HGSS which did not feel super gimicky. Really interesting bits of lore also great secondary legendaries with their own side quests. What most people view as the most chalanging champion fight to date and again impresive sprite animations for what was the standard on the consol at the time.

These games were infact a reason to want a DS, I would know, me and my brother got one for it specifically back in the day.

Then there was X and Y which in hignsight marks where things were starting to go down hill. The graphics of the game were passable, not the best but also not the worst we had seen on the 3DS. It introduced trainer custumasation and what we got to learn was anew form of evolution, Mega evolution, something everyone felt would be a substancial change to the games and how you play them from then onward. Which ended up not being the case at all. Mega evolution, despite having been warmly resived by the fanbase, got kicked in the same genoration, a lot of the game ended up feeling less memorable and the only thing that really seemed to have left a mark on the games in a whole was the inclusion of the new fairy type.

Was that worth buying a 3DS for? Eh debateable now but at the time a lot of people thought it would be.

So where does this leave Sword and Shield? Gigantamax? Very clearly a gimick, who knows how long that's gonna stick around? Character custumazation got improved? Neat but not a game macking thing. Graphics are better compared to other pokemon games? Well yeah but compared to what we have established as a standard for switch games? Kinda not at all. Animations? Again same thing, which is really jaring seeing the statements the devs made beforhand. Some of it looks like a terribly unfinished game. Cooking? We had cooking minigames in the past. Pokemon camp? Again a extension of past concepts? Pokemon jobs? A neat idea but a reason to buy this game? No. The legendaries? We got the least amount of info on them. Starter evolutions? We didn't even get them offically revealed. All we really got offically were fancy shots of new trainers and honestly a extremly limited amount of official pokemon reveals.

If it hadn't been for the leaks people would have had to make the decision to buy these games almost entirely blind.

Then there is the pokedex situation.

I personally think quiet a bit of their reasoning as to why so many pokemon aren't in it seems dishonest or at the very least not entirely true. Looking at the animations in the game alone and you get the feeling of "really? That's what they hyped up as a justification." But looking futher into it and you get a feeling where their 'stuning animation' really was put to use. This game is gem packed with gimicks that look and feel over produced compared to the rest of the game, rather then making the entire game feel more visually polished it's these things like pokemon camp, that don't have a baring to the over all game experience, that get fun new animation.

And while you can say what you want about you not being able to get all pokemon in other pokemon games too, 44% of the already established pokemon missing, including several fan favorites and former starters? That's abysmal. You can't talk this pretty yall.

I originally wondered why Nintendo talked about this in the first place and now it's clear to me, they couldn't get away with not adressing this and finding some sort of excuse. This isn't a small number of pokemon missing, this isn't 10-15%, it's almost half of them.

And that leaves you wonder? Is this game worth buying a switch? Well. No. Absolutely not. You guys have to realize this and I mean this as objectivly as possible:

Pokemon is no longer a handheld, it is a consol game now. Not only is the game system it is on dubble the price of the usual hand helds pokemon would come out on, there are aditional fees you have to pay to be able to play online. The switch was suppose to have you be able to enjoy consol games on the go, not hand held games on the big screen. And for that Pokemon just didn't deliver in the same manner other game franchises have.

And for Pokemon, having been a system selling game in the past, this is infact very disapointing, especially for people who might prematurely have bought a switch specifically for pokemon or were hoping to do so and now feel like they have been wasting their time.

Now this is not to say you can't enjoy these games, if you find joy in them that's great for you. I'm not here to judge you or call you stupid or blame you for buying the games. This is not what this is about.

However we need to awknowledge that the criticism uttered against this game is not unfounded and that this very much is showing a lot of red flags in regards to how Nintendo and Gamefreak are managing these games.

Closing your eyes and pretending everything is fine and everyone are just haters and Nintendo did nothing wrong is not going to help anybody. Especially when the issues here are clear, this game should have been developed by a way bigger team with more experience in consol games and with a bigger time window rather then having to rushed out for the christmas sales.

#pokemon #pokemon sword and shield

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pleasureactivism · 4 years

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An Annotated Playlist to Accompany Your Reading of Pleasure Activism

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2eoQwDJipqb2BpIZqCIscQ?si=bRg4s4uhSqOXw02Ai2Pc2Q

In Section Three: A Circle of Sex, there is an essay, a compilation of interviews, titled “The Highs, Lows, and Blows of Casual Sex.” Upon reading this title, I immediately thought of one of my favorite songs at the moment, “High Highs to Low Lows” by Lolo Zouaï. I put this song on while I read this essay, and while not directly about sex, the concept of peaks and valleys really resonated with the text. “High Highs and Low Lows” set the mood for me to engage with “The Highs, Lows, and Blows of Casual Sex,” not just because of the lyrics but also the multidimensional sound and authenticity and vulnerability of Zouaï’s voice. Singing in both English and French, she covers so many deeply human feelings, from sexy to vulnerable, cocky to depressed, sensual to silly. Intentionally pairing this song with this reading (instead of just putting a random playlist on shuffle) gave me the idea of creating a playlist- this book needs a soundtrack, which I have attempted to create below.

A compilation of R&B, hip hop, pop, Latinx music and some 1970s Black feminist icons (namely, Nina Simone and Diana Ross), most of these songs are performed by people that identify as women of color, partly because that is in line with Pleasure Acitivism which “center[s] the experiences of Black women” and partly because that is what I often find myself listening to. However, as was true for adrienne maree brown and her book, this soundtrack “includes a few voices that are not Black or women-identified but that I trust in the human experience of finding pleasure beyond oppression” (brown 5). This playlist was inspired by and accompanied much of my reading of much of Pleasure Activism, shifting and growing as I read, enhancing the experience and adding meaning to both the text and the music. The songs in the soundtrack can be listened to while reading any section of the book, but there are some that deal directly with themes of the book, and for those I have identified a “pairing,” or specific essay or section that I recommend pairing with that song. The songs on the soundtrack are in the order of the recommended paired sections. It should be noted that given the time frame of this project and the fact that I am simultaneously finishing up my undergraduate senior thesis, I was only able to annotate a select few of the songs on the playlist, but in no way are the songs that are not described any less important, relevant, or magical.

Oh My God by Sevdaliza

Pairing: “The Legacy of ‘Uses of the Erotic,’ A Conversation with Cara Page” OR the Introduction to Section One, “Who Taught You to Feel Good?”

I originally added this song to the playlist because of its sound, described in one article as “a blend of trip-hop, avant pop, and electronica,” and its lyrics about self-discovery, realization, hope and dreams (Ingvaldsen 2020). Savdalize asks “Who should I be?” and notes that “I view myself from above/Roamin’ in the fields of hope/Will it make or break me/As my dreams are heavy, they outweigh me.” These comments about her exploration of self and the intensity of her dreams initially led to its inclusion on the playlist. However, after finding an interview with Sevdaliza, I realized just how crucial this song is for Pleasure Activism’s soundtrack. She is Iranian Dutch and a refugee who, according to the interview, “acnkowledg[es] the oppressive regimes and institutions of the world in an effort to reflect peace and solidarity through her aural artform” (Ingvaldsen 2020). In the interview, Sevdaliza says she “believe[s] in collective energy,” a concept not only explored in Pleasure Activism but also in our course throughout the semester. Additionally, she says that “heritage stands for a gift of profound insight, wisdom, and love. My heritage to me is like an inner-oracle. The one who knows. It is a mesmerizing voice, that becomes more clear as I am close to my authentic self. My heritage also connects me with deep feminine instincts; the wise woman within” (Ingvaldsen 2020). This connection to her heritage and ancestors reminded me of brown’s exploration of her own “personal pleasure lineage” and encouragement that her readers do the same (brown 21). Sevdaliza says, “our voices are meant to be heard, our stories meant to be shared,” a concept embodid by brown in Pleasure Activism.

Feeling Good by Nina Simone

Pairing: “The Sweetness of Salt, by Alexis Pauline Gumbs”

Video by India.Arie

Pairing: “Pussy Power, by Favianna Rodriguez”

Formation by Beyoncé

Pairing: “Wherein I Write about Sex” OR “The Pleasure of Living at the Same Time as Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter”

“High Highs to Low Lows” by Lolo Zouaï

Pairing: “The Highs, Lows, and Blows of Casual Sex”

How Deep Is Your Love (feat. Yebba) by PJ Morton

Pairing: “Feelmore, A Conversation with Nenna Joiner”

Girls Need Love (with Drake)- Remix by Summer Walker

Pairing: “Liberating Your Fantasies” or “The Highs, Lows, and Blows of Casual Sex”

Girls Need Love is a seductive, passionate, and honest piece in which Walker creates a personal narrative about her desires for sex and love while also grappling with the double standard that “girls” can’t be sexually liberated. She pushes back against the societal norms that “girls can’t never say they want it/girls can’t never say how/girls can’t never say they need it/girls can’t even say now.” She also stresses that her desire for casual sex is okay, a topic which brown analyzes in Highs, Lows, and Blows of Casual Sex” (“I don’t need a reason baby/Please don’t get in your feelings”). Another soulful R&B track, this song has a simple production with a main focus on the vocals.

BROWN SKIN GIRL (feat Blue Ivy Carter) by Beyoncé, Saint Jhn, Wizkid

Pairing: “The Pleasure of Living at the Same Time as Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter” OR “Wherein I Write about Sex” OR “Black Woman Wildness by Junauda Petrus”

Q.U.E.E.N. (feat. Erykah Badu) by Janelle Monáe

Pairing: “Fly as Hell, A Conversation with Sonya Renee Taylor”

Multi-Love by Unknown Mortal Orchestra

Pairing: “On Nonmonogamy”

Multi-Love is a song about polyamory, full of intimacy, vulnerability, and even discomfort and torment. Despite these intense feelings that are on display in Ruban Nielson’s (the lead singer’s) voice and in the lyrics, the instrumental aspect of the song is lighter and catchy, consisting of an upbeat keyboard tune and light, quick drum beats. These components come together to create a non-pretentious, spiritual, futuristic song that touches on many of the same topics as Pleasure Activism. For example, he talks about god, asking, “who is your god? Where is she?” Similarly, adrienne maree brown said that she “think[s] a lot about what god is, how god is, and where we are relating to and running from and surrendering to god” (brown 7). He sings about transitioning between single-love and multi-love (“We were one, then become three”), which reminded me of brown’s comments that “nonmonogamy tends to suit [her] best, even if [she is] occasionally focused on one lover” and her further analysis of multi-love in the subsection “On Nonmonogamy” (brown 8, 409). And finally, he talks about alludes to the non-binaryness of gender: “she doesn't want to be a man or a woman” (though the use of the pronoun “she” is somewhat troubling in this case). All in all, this song that is somehow at once crystal clear and mysteriously muffled belongs on the soundtrack because of its soulful, groovy nature, relevant lyricism and personal discovery about love, spirituality, vulnerability, and meaning. As a side note, I also felt like it fits well because Ruban Nielson’s delivery has been compared to that of Prince’s, who brown dedicates the book to.

The Other Woman by Nina Simone

Pairing: “Being Second”

Golden by Jill Scott

I’m Coming Out by Diana Ross

Universe by Ambar Lucid

La Negra Tiene Tumbao by Celia Cruz

Pairing: “On Fear, Shame, Death, and Humor, A Conversation between the Rocca Family and Zizi” OR “On the Pleasures of Wardrobe, A Conversation with Maori Karmael Holmes”

Beyond being an absolute Afro-Cuban and Latin music icon, and the Queen of Salsa, Celia Cruz is known for her fashion style; she always had on colorful wigs, sequins, crazy high heels, and incredible makeup (for this reason her song is paired with “On the Pleasures of Wardrobe”). This song was chosen because of its multifaceted nature; it spans the genres of jazz, salsa, reggae, and hip hop. She talks about the style, attitude, swag and sexiness of a black woman (in Spanish). Igniting the spark of pride in Latinx and Black identities for many, “La Negra Tiene Tumbao” is a timeless anthem about being proud of who you are, embracing blackness, and never moving out of the way for anybody.

Pelo Suelto by Gloria Trevi

The Pleasure Principle by Janet Jackson

February 3rd by Jorja Smith

Satisfaction Guaranteed by Junglepussy

This song is lush and deep as it envelopes you into its mesmerizing tune. Junglepussy’s slow, intense words of confidence and encouragement to feel fully, both spiritually and physically, wash over the listener like a wave (“Yeah, I’m the brown hottie with the body, looking like Rum Spice… Relax, as the aura ease you/In the flesh, let the physical please you”).

Soul Liberator by Kraak and Smaak feat. Sanguita

Feeling Myself by Nicki Minaj feat. Beyoncé

Cranes in the Sky by Solange

Hurry by Teyana Taylor feat. Kanye

Mujer Latina by Thalía

A Quién Le Importa by Thalía

I’m Every Woman by Whitney Houston

Works Cited

Ingvaldsen, Torsten. “Sevdaliza Returns With New Protest Song ‘Oh My God.’” HYPEBEAST, HYPEBEAST, 30 Jan. 2020, hypebeast.com/2020/1/sevdaliza-oh-my-god-single-stream-premiere.

#pleasureactivism #playlist

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prosteticanimals · 4 years

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10 Things Most People Don't Know About fireinsidemusic

Just one these types of millennial who knocked my socks off was this younger Woman named Anushka, a teenager in her early twenties. Her white t-shirt with "MILLENNIAL" in huge, black, bold letters just caught our rapid interest and we couldn't prevent considering her Special Talent Presentation, here at Nirmiti Academy. The Do it yourself (Do It You) Craft was her unique expertise. She represented a young deal with of your millennials. Moreover, it was her presentation that spoke extra of her as a millennial. She was a real go-getter when it came to existing her unique talent in a unique way. We could see her beaming with delight and contentment to showcase her distinctive expertise to others. She was so psyched that she was talking a mile a moment. She experienced a lot of to mention about it and she or he could go on and on and preserve us glued to her presentation. The millennials like Anushka and several Other folks are determined to work on factors which interest them. Concurrently, I could also see her being struggling to smile and present herself Fortunately. Long gone would be the moments to the millennials where they really feel current and luxuriate in their surroundings. These are the era who feel the continuous want for Digital notice which potential customers them to overshare their life and times on social networking or go inward in deep conscience to find on their own. This leaves them unconnected With all the Bodily world all over them.

Millennials can be a hugely praised and self-assured generation. They can be a really optimistic generation. They may have a greater will need to obtain existence activities in lieu of to accumulate materials prosperity, While they do like to amass things that might help them to delight in These ordeals. Millennials are one of the most educated generation. Since the value tag of education and learning has become so superior and continuing to climb annually, Millennials have grown to be quite savvy with regards to their instructional decisions. Unlike past generations who observed training like a ritual and an investment in their potential, millennials perspective education as an price, Except if it'll empower them to be able to be an improved person. They be expecting instruction that can help them prepare for The brand new alternatives and problems of the age, as opposed to helping them by furnishing fact-primarily based info/understanding. The millennials wish to be challenged by pondering the long run And the way they will contribute to creating a greater society and surroundings. They do not experience the need to come to be "textbook intelligent / book worms".

They are aware that points can be quickly found on line by their very own unbiased action. These are the generation that boasts and thrive on information at finger "simply click". Inside of a world of open up use of knowledge, it will make very little sense to count on the classroom as being a Discussion board for that transfer of knowledge.

In its place, the students Considerably prefer to master in the stories and experiences of Other individuals. These shared stories and activities assistance them to augment their particular encounter by Understanding in the accomplishment and mistakes of others. This helps them avoid creating a similar blunders as their influencers. As a result, they like to speculate more in their money and time on these applications which help them to establish various methods that they could include into their thoughts and final decision-creating method, therefore building a new skill established.

We are unable to disregard The reality that millennials also are a generation of uncertainties and fluctuations. These are the era who likes to help keep switching their gadgets. They grew up with know-how where by anything was at their fingertips. It will become disheartening for them not to get what they want once they want it. The majority of the items have already been handed to them with a silver spoon. This helps make them truly feel entitled to get what they want with out putting in A lot exertion.

However They can be the major workforce of the businesses currently, they do not believe in lifelong work. Lifelong commitment is a fairy tale for the millennials. They generally soar from on career to another since they are often searching for some thing new and much better. These higher expectations turn out to be their downfall and can make them fewer economically steady than their mom and dad.

Millennials are listed here to remain! They are really young, vibrant and energetic and they're the longer term. They are great belongings which the world will have to harness and use. These are the generation which is revolutionizing the planet. They are the budding leaders of tomorrow. They adopt technological innovation and stimulus in the identical breadth. This era can also be a collaborative and social technology that includes a focus on comprehending and setting up their expertise by means of different kinds of medium to find out the responses. It can be for your educator like us to provide an arena for engagement and discovery along with be considered a information specialist and mentor. It can be for learning platform companies like Nirmiti Academy to give an explorative and experiential expertise and produce out their true probable in everyday life and at work. It is this transformational journey that we at Nirmiti Academy look ahead to every single day to master, unlearn and relearn Using these youthful and magical era - the Millennials!

If the above mentioned title confuses you, you may well be missing out on a few of the very best possibilities the world wide web has to offer. Meanwhile, other people are expanding their Professions, getting ready For brand spanking new life as business owners, or are learning new techniques or increasing their knowledge base, normally at little if any Charge.

How are they executing this?

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These are accessing MOOCs, or Substantial Open Online Programs. Although platforms are actually offered from elite colleges like MIT and Stanford for virtually ten years, open-supply classes proceed to improve in amount and popularity. Now, even some local people colleges like Wake Specialized University,Situated outdoors Raleigh, NC, offers MOOCs to a global viewers. This growing availability suggests There's now an unbelievable variety of courses available to anybody using an internet connection, in spite of area.

Topics MOOCs cover can differ from contemporary robotics and astronomy to Roman architecture and the American Novel Due to the fact 1945. MIT, for example, has courses centered all-around Mathematics, Engineering, Power and Science, in addition to a stunning variety of lessons concentrating on the Humanities and Fantastic Arts. The University of Michigan gives programs ranging from "Storytelling for Social Modify" to Python, info analytics, and device Finding out. You can also just take Management classes from HEC Paris by way of MOOC, rated via the Economist as having the second strongest small business university alumni network on the planet.

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Some MOOCs are intended to be taken for awareness attained, but lots of programs also give you a certification of completion via internet sites like Coursera.org. Certificates of completion--that are unique from class credits--typically cost about $50. Money assist is available for many who qualify.

Factors to Consider a MOOC

There are lots of reasons why a MOOC course could be best for you outside of time management, Despite the fact that most MOOCs allow pupils to work at their own rate, meaning they effortlessly suit into most schedules, Regardless of how busy. Other pros incorporate:

An opportunity to try out A serious just before paying out for faculty classes. Everyone trying to decide over a job path, for The very first time or due to a midlife adjust of path, is aware the aggravation of thinking "Imagine if I'm Incorrect about my choice? The amount money am I going to invest prior to I understand this isn't for me?" MOOCs are a great way to 'dip your toes' in, so to talk, prior to the headache of coping with standard higher education courses and common university prices. You may try out as many courses while you have time for till some thing actually sparks your interest.

Just take classes not available domestically. There are actually pretty much A huge number of MOOC courses obtainable on the web. Even when you reside in Boston (wherever Harvard, MIT, Tufts, Boston Faculty and Boston College are all Found) or Various other comparable College-dense locale, you are able to possibly come across a category or two as a result of MOOC choices not available to you domestically.

Discover (or relearn) a language for free. Not only can you're taking a overseas language program without cost by way of MOOCs, but because of courses taught at foreign universities, You can even train your ear by listening to indigenous speakers. Have a class taught within the language you should find out and comply with alongside employing English subtitles. The 2nd method is a terrific way to effectively double your Discovering, but only works if you already have not less than an intermediate grasp in the language.

If Mastering One more language isn't really large with your to-do checklist, it's possible it ought to be: In 2017, New American Financial state noted employer need for bilingual staff members more than doubled given that 2010. This demand from customers proceeds to grow. Finest languages to check? Spanish, Chinese, and Arabic.

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Create up your resume with wanted competencies. Perhaps there is a far better job at work you know you can do, but your manager doesn't Feel you happen to be capable for it simply because you absence certain abilities. MOOCs are a great way to grow to be proficient in places like HTML coding, Search engine optimization analytics, or no matter what skill you have to come to be the ideal human being for that occupation.

Adhere to the backlinks in this article To find out more on a lot of MOOC classes. MOOCs can also be out there as a result of many different academic platforms, which include Coursera, Udemy, and edX. But MOOCs may be accessed directly via Each individual university, and can be found by making use of the following Google research restricting syntax entered into your google lookup bar:

internet site:edu MOOC subject

By way of example, if I enter web site:edu MOOC robotics, I get about 7,000 final results, like this Introduction to Robotics Specialization from Penn Engineering. By using this syntax, you are able to usually bypass the clearinghouses and find just what exactly You are looking for on university websites, even classes the clearinghouses might not supply.

Pleased MOOCing!

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